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Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008
In an effort to get the heart-shattered Chris back in the mood to draw comics and post videos, the #sonichu chat room convinced him to do a Q&A session, answering questions from his fans. This clip is perhaps best remembered for Christian's mockery of trolls who act like girls, which is ironic coming from a man who has worn his mother's underwear.
Chris also introduces Chloe, a short and fail attempt to fool the trolls into thinking he was already taken by a girl who was deeply interested in him IRL. After this video she would never be heard of again.
During the Q&A he answers questions about the laws of CWCville, making clear that selling alcohol or tobacky is a worse crime than murder, though the punishment is surprisingly lenient. Regardless, Chris, in his ignorance, accidentally outright dismisses both of the hypothetical cases set before him, so neither perpetrator would be punished anyway.
Christian concludes the presentation by reading an email purportedly from Megan Schroeder, to confirm that the real Chris has received it. Whether this was the real Megan or a troll posing as Megan to earn Christian's trust remains unclear. Chris states that she is to remain "anomynous" before blurting her name out seconds later.
| Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|
|Stardate||28 October 2008|
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Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008
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Sonichu & Chris Chan in Guitar Hero World Tour
—Chris, to the horror of lesbian couples, career-minded single women, and infertile men everywhere.
Captain's Log. Stardate: October 27th, 2008.
This is the first Q&A video… of a-- of a-- of a lot of Q&A videos—of a-- from S-- of questions from Sonichu fans on the Internet.
Anyway, y'all know who I am… [holds up teddy bear] and this is Li'l Chris, a teddy bear I put together at, uh, Create-A-Critter. [puts bear down and pats its back] Good little bear. [reaches back and grabs Guitar Hero guitar] And this is my gi-tar. Y'all should know my gi-tar. Stay tuned after today—stay tuned later for, uh, s-- for a special little introduction from Guitar Hero World Tour that I put together. [grabs wristband] Also, this is my, uh, wristband. [puts it on] I put it on my wrist for when I play guitar. [holds guitar to demonstrate] 'Cause when I play it… I… have my wrist there and I don't want the… edge f-- of that—of the guitar or… strap here… rubbing against my arm! [sets guitar down and takes off wristband]
Now, onto the questions!
We have a set of ten questions today, and the first question's from—first question comes from SonichuBlue:
“I really liked your… shirt in your last video. What did you get it and where do you buy your clothes?”
Goodwill or Salvation Army.
“If I could have thwee rishes, what would they be?”
Cure my autism, heal my parents, and then, another three wishes… so that I could wish for money and not—and everything else.
“Why did I change… Blake-- Black Sonichu's name to ‘Blake’?”
To lower the—uh, instance—to lower the—uh, comments about, uh, racism and that sort of thing. And also, “Blake” sounds better than “Black Sonichu”. It's shorter.
“LittleBigPlanet was delayed! What happened?”
A song in the game! Originally, it had, like, two lyr—it had, like, two songs that had lyrics that had, uh… I mean, it had a song that had two song lyrics that, uh, both translated to, uh, apoptalycic—apoptalyc—apocalyptic terms in the Qa-tar language. And, uh, there's enough bad news in the world as it is.
Oh… respectively, uh, that was SonichuBlue, then NintendoMafia, MachPunch, and Stalyn.
Now, another one from MachPunch:
“What was the inspiration behind Naitsirhc's comic in… [seemingly provides this reference himself] Issue #6?”
Look at Episode 19 of Excel-Saga, featuring the character Key. Don't care very much for him… but the outfit he wore was basically the inspiration behind Naitsirhc's out—Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc's outfit… since he is the complete opposite… of me.
Mmm… and, uh, from BlueCheese:
“Are there jails in CWCville? What happens when they commit crimes, and what's the worst crime?”
We have jails. Same as everywhere else: trial, then sentence… after being—after being ’termined guilty… or innocent. And the worst crime? Importing cigarettes or alcohol, which, uh, the s-- which the sen-- which the, uh, sentence for that would be… [raises fist like a gavel] would be ten years or a $1,500 fine. [pounds knee with fist] Case dismissed!
And from IronTail:
“What's the status on my love life?”
100% heart! I met the girl named Chloe at the GameStop, where we have reserved, uh, LittleBigPlanet… Little-- the GameStop over at Forest Lakes. Lives a-- lives a-- she lives around here… on, uh, Dickerson Road. That's nearby.
Other details, I will sh-- I will re-- I will tha-- I will leave… discreet, ’cause I do not want to-- want to reveal any more information than necessary, for there could-- for there can be impostors on the Internet, trying to, uh, get a cheap laugh and whatnot. [switches to a “troll voice”] “Oh, look at me! I'm a troll! I think I'll play around as a girl! [switches to a girl voice] Hellooo!”
[returns to normal voice] Not a good idea. In CWCville, the sen-- the, uh, sentence for that would be 20 years prison, or a $2,000 fine! [pounds knee] Case dismissed!
Oh, and also… worst punishment: a kick in the teeth! Pyoo! [mimes throwing a punch]
And from OkiaStar[?]… He asks about Sonichu's power level. His electric level: he can go as high as 10,000 volts or bet—or greater.
And, uh, Stalyn’s:
“Will the medallions be made for sale?”
Not at the moment, but eventually, when Sonichu become—comes official on the market. Officially. But not—which—uh, but, uh, again, emphasizing: Jimmy Hill's products are fake. Do not buy them.
And from AwfulP[?]:
“Will there ever be a… level up from Sonichu?”
Ultra Sonichu. And… it's uncertain at the moment when he’ll make his appearance. At the moment. It's uncertain.
“Moving out of my parents' any time soon?”
No current plans. And… possibly… but possibly… move in with Chloe… but not at the moment because, uh… she's renting at the moment… and, uh, I’ll—and she'll let me move in with her after she gets her own place.
“Would I ever become a spoim durnal?” [presumably means “sperm donor”]
Maybe. That's the answer.
Well, that's it for the Q&A, but I want to close this with a comment from a-- from somebody else, uh… that wants to confirm my identity… friend of mine, whose name will—shall remain anomynous at the moment. Uh…
So, anyway, I read this message that, uh… anyway, I'll quote it. “Okay, Chris,” she says:
“Okay, Chris, if you read out this message I sent, I'll know it's you. Please just read it out in full, and then, the trolling should stop. If it doesn't stop, then I'll stop using this e-mail address. I installed my message… program because of all the people sending me fake messages and trolling me. I want to talk with you and catch up on everything. You’ll know it's me, because I’ll use the word ‘ban--’”
[abruptly stops reading, so as not to reveal the secret word] And… [mutters hurriedly] next paragraph:
“Just be careful, Chris. I'm worried about talking to you because I want it to be private, and I just want… to know it's really Christian I'm talking to. We have a lot of things to talk about. I only talk to you on the… [skips over some small amount of text] if I'm 100% sure it's just between you and me. From Megan Schroeder.”
[points at the camera] Shame on you, you Internet bullies. [drops letter] Shame on you.
Anyway, stay tuned, for I'll upload a new video that's, uh, from Guitar Hero World Tour that I think y'all will be very interested in… and that I have put together yesterday. Also, LittleBigPlanet level—I'll make a video for that soon enough after the, uh… what's the word I'm looking for? Uh… I mean, anyway, after the—uh, after the website—after the Internet portion comes back online.
Anyway… this is me, signing off for the moment. Take care and stay safe.
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