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Muscle bra

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OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin.
 

 

—Chris

Happy Chris in a muscle bra and with life upgrade
Unhappy Chris in a classic (read: his mom's) bra

Muscle bra is a CWC-ism for the sports bra that Chris wears on his manboobs. Unfortunately for all involved, it only makes his gynecomastia all the more appalling.

The muscle bra, also known as the Muscle Bra of Fail, first appeared in October 2009 in a leaked e-mail accompanied by photos. His usually bouncy moobs soon became less noticeable in subsequent videos.

Within a short while, he started to demand that all men wear bras under penalty of law.

Chris and bras

Chris after converting his bra into a wearable Attraction Sign
Artist's depiction

Chris had a fetish for cross-dressing for some time before he proudly revealed it to the public. He wore his mother's undergarments for Blanca in mid-2008. In the Chris Sex Videos, recorded around the same time, he appears to be wearing a cut-off red t-shirt as a makeshift bra. In the summer of 2009, he admitted to Ivy that he enjoyed wearing women's underwear. She persuaded him to draw a picture of Punchy Sonichu wearing a bra and panties "to symbolically display an acceptance of Chris’ interests."[1] He did so, but for reasons which remained a mystery to his fans for the time being.

For a while he also had mixed feelings about showing his own naked chest. For Ivy he drew several pictures of himself topless. In one he is pointedly waving his clown shirt above his head. In this idealized self-image his manboobs are non-existent and thus need no support. Also, in April 2009, he made three short videos in which he demonstrated his physical strength whilst topless.

On 1 September 2009 he told Kacey he was planning on buying a bra, presumably to control the bouncing of his manboobs while jogging. A few days later, he bought his first bras, and was so happy with them that he photographed himself wearing one and sent the images to a gal-pal.

 
 
I just spent a whole minute just lookin' at myself without my shirt on, and it with- with my bra- with my bra on. J-just lookin' at myself in the mirror for one minute, studying myself. It was like, you know, I mean, you know, at first I didn't know what to think, that's, like you know- that's why I sit in the mirror and look- took a good long- took a good one- took a good long look, there. And then I went to feed my cats...and that was about fifteen minutes later, and then that thought came back-....I had- the thou- the image from what I saw in the mirror came back to me, and I thought- and then I was like, "yeah, I look pretty good, and I- and I can accept this, I can get used to this," and then I- and then I just felt confident.
 

 

—Chris to Kasey[2]

From this moment he was hooked.

At first Chris assumed that bras were disposable. This was confirmed when he told Kacey that he threw away each bra after it accumulated three days' worth of 'tard sweat, because he didn't think that bras were washable.[3] We already know from the below email that Chris bought one set of sports bras in a three-pack, and due to his notorious cheapness we have no reason to think he did not do the same with the second set of bras. Chris also reveals in a video that he wears bras with a band size of 42. His cup size has not been confirmed, although in one of his videos where he is mumbling and rambling he seems to say, "Might say a little bit an A, a little bit of a size A," as he slaps the slats of fat. While this could be a confirmation, he does not exactly have the profound ability to accurately determine the size of things.

The general public first became aware of Chris's muscle bras in April 2010 with a leaked video. The following day, possibly to steal the trolls' thunder, he voluntarily appeared in another video for the public wearing his muscle bra. By this time, however, his rationale had shifted--it was not for comfort, but rather because he was offended by the sight of shirtless men. This new conviction would spur his campaign described below.

In June 2010 Chris went to Fridays After Five, where he continued to carry out his campaign against exposed manboobs among the general public by wearing his muscle bra to the event. It seemed that Chris has also found another use for his muscle bra, demonstrated by his converting it into an attraction sign with a black marker. Whereas most normal people would perhaps draw on a T-shirt to make their point, Chris has devised a seemingly superior method of making his. That's right: for a woman to have read his statement of intent to engage in a romantic and sexual relationship with her, she'd have to have stared at one of the more disturbing outward pieces of evidence that he just doesn't understand how those relationships work, which may or may not be a poetic microcosm of his entire fucking life since puberty.

In 2011 a new wrinkle appeared--he was into not just bras, but transvestism in general. He declared himself to be a Tomgirl and, later, a male lesbian, and he enthusiastically walked around in public wearing a blouse and skirt. He wore bras in photos uploaded to dating websites. The muscle bra was folded into his new fashion paradigm.

Muscle bras for everyone

Chris's typical response to a shirtless dude.

Main article: Brassieres For Males

Chris's appreciation for bras goes beyond his penchant for dressing like a woman. It is also tied closely to the disgust he feels at seeing male bodies. Chris seems to find the sight of bare male chests extremely unappealing and even offensive. As early as October 2009, in a video he released showing an illustration of himself bare-chested, he censored his own drawn nipple with a slip of paper. In the April 2010 video message Men Should NEVER be Topless he strongly insisted that all men should wear bras and said he would actually make it a law. He has gone so far as to cover or vandalize images of male torsos in stores while shopping.

 
 
I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a muscle bra. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.
 

 

—Chris[4]

If anything, his revulsion has only intensified over time. In October 2014 he raged to a friend, "those UGLY, OFFENSIVE, VULGAR TOPLESS HIDES JUST GIVE ME REALLY BAD SHIVERS AND QUAKES; NEAR ENOUGH TO CAUSE A FREAKING SEIZURE!!!" He is convinced that at least half the population--especially straight men--share this belief. At other times he has claimed that "NOBODY is ever truly impressed with the topless male nudity."[5]

At first, it was supposed among his fans that there might be unstated reasons for his campaign. Perhaps due to his inability to differentiate differences in the anatomy of other human beings, he saw it as necessary for other males to cover up as well. Or perhaps, he simply wanted to rationalize the fact that he needed one for his big breasts by encouraging people who do not need one to wear one as well, thus hiding his embarrassment. As the years passed, however, his statements of repugnance at the male physique only multiplied, and it became apparent that he was being sincere in his rationale. Whether this stems from autism, projected self-hatred, or some undiagnosed mental illness, none can say.

Hiding the male body became such an important cause for Chris that in September 2013, he revealed a Facebook page dedicated to the muscle bra. Its original purpose was "to support making it legally required for men of all ages to wear (sports) bras to cover their topless chests." However, thanks to the influence of certain friends, the page was soon modified to say that men should be merely encouraged to wear bras, "as a way to express identity or modesty." After coming out as a male lesbian in 2014, he extended his appeal to the Human Rights Campaign, writing, "Topless male nudity is offensive to me, and to others as well I am sure. It should be socially appropriate for all men to wear a (Sports) Brassiere!"

The bra e-mail

The following e-mail was leaked in October 2009, along with a series of illustrative photos. The identity of the recipient has never been publicly revealed, but more of her correspondence can be found here.

Stress causes Memory Loss sometimes. At least I undid the hacker who got into my YouTube.

Also, I did my shopping today; I haven't been able to draw or color today yet, but I will set some time tonight. I got my copy of G.H.5, my new 3-in-one-printer, and I found the sports bras at Wal-Mart; 3-packs for $10 a pack. In leiu of going into the fitting room, I asked the nearby female employee to measure my bust size; I'm a 43. So I got a 3-set of 42; I've been wearing one for try... It is sooo comfortable, and my manboobs do not bounce as easily; I jumped a few times to see. OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin. It's like a Guitly Pleasure or something.

Anyway, I got my exercise in today. I also went to McD, Toys 'R' Us, Sheetz, Food Lion and Target for applications; NO PAPER APPLICATIONS! OMG, it really ground my gears to realize that. Although at Target, I was not totally surprised; I went straight to their computer station and filled in their application online. But EVERYONE IS LIKE GOING DIGITAL WITH NO PAPER TRAIL; It Sucks! This is even WORSE Than that CRAPPY PowerWeb at PVCC.

Yes, you have read correctly, I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT DAMN, STUPID POWERWEB![6] Even in it's pre-released Over Advertising, which was TOTALLY UNECCESSARY. Every time I was FORCED into using that Damn System, I was always reluctant, and I had to use my Student ID No., which I HAD NEVER CARED TO MEMORIZE; I only glanced at a few numbers at a time upon entry, and "In One Ear And Out The Other" with that soiled piece of what would have been valuable information. You said I was the first person you met to Hate Kenneth; well, I'm probably the first person you met who Always Loathed the PowerWeb since its PreBirth.

*sigh*

But I digress... and this bra feels sooo good.

Something else, I'll forward you an e-mail I sent to Kacey last night after our conversation to best start another concern of mine.

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Chris.

Gallery

E-mail images

Animated gifs

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See also

References

  1. Ivy Q&A
  2. Kacey Call 10
  3. Kacey Call 11
  4. Clyde is Weaker than Water
  5. Open Relationship E-mails
  6. TwoMarys on CWCipedia Chris seems to hate the PowerWeb because it's a pet project of Mary Lee Walsh and he was too dumb to understand how to use it.

External links

CWC-isms

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Dating education | Gal pal | Heart level | Sweetheart | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | Gaybian | Hanky-panky | Homos | Honest Content | Mass debating | Navy | Pickle | Raincoat | Recycling | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Cherokian Clan | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fangs | Fuzzy-wuzzies | Honor roll | Mental Block | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Prickly-Wicklies | Random-access humor | Scale of Respect | Heart level | Tomgirl

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Parody | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt | Reeb

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkop | Kick the Autistic | Laughs Under Lucricities | Manajerks | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Tobacky

Cursewords: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Naïve | Niggos | Pedofork | Slow-in-the-minds

See also: Minor CWC-isms | Chris and English