Saddest Heart in the World
"Saddest Heart in the World" is a poem by Christian Weston Chandler. It was written on November 4, 2003, and published the next year, in the first issue of Sonichu's News Dash.
Read today, it comes across as remarkably prescient as Chris remains a virgin.
The Poem
By. Christian W. Chandler
November 4, 2003
Lonesome and sad, lonesome and sad,
the Mastermind is very bad.
In efforts of getting a Boyfriend-Free gal,
that female dog took my only idea for a fall.
Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,
I may never remove my virginity.
And with Backstreet Boys’s tune, I sing my lonesome croon:
“Tell me why, I’m stuck as a virgin with rage.
Tell me why, I so need a cute girl my age.
Tell me why, I ain’t ever wanna hear you say,
‘I have a boyfriend.’”
And so, deep in dreary thought,
a girl was what I sought.
A stitch in time,
will never remove my crying rhyme.
I may be destined for loneliness forever;
fate is to blame… whatever.
I conclude this cry,
to say that as long as there are no matching girls, my happiness well runs dry.