Difference between revisions of "Duck"

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Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his [[Wikipedia:pubic hair|pubic hair]]. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more of his ghastly F.U.P.A. and ghostly pale skin.
Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his [[Wikipedia:pubic hair|pubic hair]]. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more of his ghastly F.U.P.A. and ghostly pale skin.


When he announced the alleged loss of his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] on [[Facebook]] Chris claimed his sex partner praised his [[lies|duck for its size]].
When he announced the alleged loss of his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] on [[Facebook]] Chris claimed his sex partner [[lies|praised his duck for its size]].


Coincidentally, real-life ducks are known for their massive, twisted penises.
Coincidentally, real-life ducks are known for their massive, twisted penises.

Revision as of 22:27, 25 September 2014

Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity[1]
Duck edited.jpg
ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.
Chris, on his duck.[2]
MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!
Chris, I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts

Duck is a CWC-ism for penis, usually in the context of Chris's own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and those of Rosechus, are pickles.) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 February 2009 Mumble chat that it is an intentional euphemism.[3]

Chris and his duck

Indeed a monster.
Another example of a bent duck

Chris's penis is bent at a horrifying 45° angle, though he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has Peyronie's disease, or that he did it to himself by mass debating improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a fractured penis. Further damage could have resulted from when Chris stuck his duck in the ice for 15 minutes trying to imitate Jackass.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long.[4] He even edited the CWCki at one point to remove a bit of piping that suggested otherwise. He has attempted to enlarge it with ExtenZe, a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.[5][6]

Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, which is a source of some insecurity for him. In an e-mail to Evan during their feud over Simonla Rosechu, he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you." In Kacey Call 11, Chris asked Kacey for details as to the size of Liquid Chris's penis and expressed regret that his own was not as large.

Toward the very end of his communications with Jackie, Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. In the Tomgirl images, leaked in April 2011, his penis is still visibly bent.

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more of his ghastly F.U.P.A. and ghostly pale skin.

When he announced the alleged loss of his virginity on Facebook Chris claimed his sex partner praised his duck for its size.

Coincidentally, real-life ducks are known for their massive, twisted penises.

References by Chris

Anatomical analysis of the duck.

Sources

See also

The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt


See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media