Nintendo Power Magazine

From CWCki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Nintendo Power was a video game-oriented magazine that has given Sonichu and Chris a substantial amount of press coverage.

No. Seriously.

The magazine

Nintendo Power was a magazine devoted to promoting Nintendo's video games, consoles, and so on and so forth, as well as providing cheat codes, strategy guides, sneak peeks at upcoming releases, and anything else one might want to know about Nintendo products. Chris, being in part a Nintendo fanboy, had a subscription since the dawn of time.

Even though dozens of fans were featured in every issue in some form (fan art, fan mail, etc.), Chris firmly believes making into the magazine is an honor of the highest degree, and that the people over at the magazine actually remembered who he was from the five minutes of fame he had years ago. He also appears to believe that being featured in the magazine is a one way ticket to getting a job with Nintendo.

The magazine ceased publication in December 2012.

The hand-drawn magazine

Main article: Homemade Nintendo Power magazine

Chris maintained constant mail contact with the magazine. One of his letters was about a dream he had where Sega made a Sonic game for the Game Boy. Chris then freaking hand-drew his own issue of Nintendo Power. With pencils, marker, and printed-out, cut-and-pasted text, detailing how Sonic arbitrarily transferred to Nintendo consoles to release a trio of Sonic games. That are direct copies of existing Mario games. It's every bit as pathetic as it sounds. Notably, it's Chris's first major attempt at slavishly recreating a commercial product by hand, as well as the first appearance of Bionic the Hedgehog.

The Sprung letter

Chris has had better luck with Nintendo correspondence as the years went by. Most infamous was his letter to Nintendo about how Sprung, a pseudo-dating-sim for the DS, helped him get over his fear of girls with boyfriends. For about five minutes. Yes, once again, exactly as pathetic as it sounds.

Transcript

DS Equals Dating Service

I recently purchased a Nintendo DS and a copy of Sprung. I originally bought the game, because I needed some lessons on what to say to, or do for, a girl. To make a long story short, I developed a fear that all the pretty girls are already paired up with a boyfriend. I’ve dubbed this social phobia, Noviophobia, after the Spanish word for boyfriend. Anyway, before Sprung, I was afraid to approach most women (FYI, I’m 22-years old). I tried to silently attract a boyfriend-free girl, mostly with signs, for over one year and four months. Then Sprung provided me with general things to say and do, so I felt more confident. When I tried my new-found expressions from the dating simulator, I forgot my fear of the infinitely high boyfriend factor, and I met a couple of lady friends with whom I feel more comfortable. So thank you, Nintendo and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed.

Christian C.

Via the Internet

The Animal Crossing documentary

Chris also got some airplay in Nintendo Power for his jaw-dropping video about his daily life in Animal Crossing. Nintendo Power heaped praise upon the terrible little Let's Play, focusing more on Chris's character Sonichu (gee, what a surprise) and his in-game accomplishments than the lonesome manchild behind the mask or why he was called Sonichu. Nonetheless, Chris took this as a great stride forward in his quest to achieve video game superstardom without having to exert any effort or develop any kind of skill. Pathetic? Yes, you've picked up on the pattern.

Transcript

Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary

Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!

(Image captions:)

Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.

He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.

And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.

Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular Poké Ball.

It seems incredible, but someone was actually paid to watch Chris's video for an hour and then write about it. Note that many of the of the unique achievements mentioned are actually basic functions of the game any six year old can discover.

Gallery

See also