Red String of Fate

“	I’ve had my worst trip to the Mall. I was working with my Heart on a Red String of Fate, when from out the blue,a JERK COP shatter my Heart and ripped up the Red String!	”
CWC's Diary

The Artifact of Fail itself.

Would you like to make a wish?

The red string, as shown in Excel Saga. Notice the Chris look-a-like next to the man with the string, and the lack of any references to "fishing".

The Red String of Fate was a plot Chris came up with in 2004 to attract a boyfriend-free girl. He probably got it from Excel Saga or some other anime, as the red string is allegedly an important metaphor in Asian courting rituals, similar to the concept of having a soulmate (emphasis on metaphor). Chris's subtle expression of courtship failed to be appreciated as he took too many artistic liberties with the concept.

According to Lucas and Mimms, Chris would attach a paper heart to a red string and throw it at women, then pull the string like he was "reeling" them in. The small red heart had text around the outside reading "PICK ME UP AND BRING ME TO MY OWNER", an ingenious strategy to reel in da ladies.

CWC's Diary tells us that Chris came up with the idea around the beginning of August 2004. "I have a NEW idea," he says in the beginning of that month's entry, "that I am sure will REEL in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL RED STRING."

On 5 August 2004, a mall security guard took Chris's red string off him. For over 15 years, Chris has not picked back up the idea.

There is a certain irony, given how much Chris whines about them, that this method of fishing is known as trolling.