Sonichu Home Club

Sonichu Home Club was an online Sonichu event hosted by Chris on 2 January 2009 on the PS3 online network.

It was intended to be a recurring event where Chris would be showered with praise and adoration by his (female) fans (since male Sonichu fans are JERKS who steal all the pretty girls and leave Chris with none). However, since Chris is lazy and got occupied with other ventures (such as his dealings with Shigeru Miyamoto), he forgot all about this.

Both of the videos documenting the event have been lost.

Part 1
"[The SonichuGirls forum] makes me feel omnipotent!"

Transcript
[Metal Gear Solid's VR mission intro theme plays]

Okay. Sorry about that. Turnin’ the page, uh…

Well, anyway… Jamsta continues, sayin’:

“WE HAVE A LOT OF GREAT EVENTS AND GIVEAWAYS GOIN’ ON HERE TODAY! THANK CHRISTIAN THAT CWCVILLE IS CLEAN CITY. NOBODY HAS TO GO HOME DRUNK OR SMOKY. WE’VE GOT COOLERS AND KEGS FULL OF OUR FAVORITE… CWC-COLA, DIET CWC-COLA, LEMONADE, AND GRAPE AND ORANGE SODA, COMPLIMENTS OF OUR LOCAL S-- CWC-COLA BOTTLING COMPANY. YOU CAN ENTER TO WIN AN HD TV FROM CRUTCHFIELD, OR DRIVE HOME IN OUR NEW, OH-EIGHT CHEVY CAMARO CONCEPT. ALSO TONIGHT, OUR RISING STAR, JIGGLIAMI, WILL BE SINGIN’ HER DEBUT SINGLE, "WAR OF LOVE", TONIGHT ON THE CONCERT STAGE HERE AT CWCVILLE BEACH. SO, STAY TUNED TO CWCVILLE’S #1 RADIO STATION FOR ALL THIS AND A LOT MORE.” [Note: In this reading from Sonichu #8, Chris changes a few details and even omits entire sentences.]

And then, Lolisa… s-- replies, saying:

[uses his Lolisa voice] “AWESOME, JAMSTA! WELL, I’M THINKIN’ OF TAKIN’ A SWIM IN OUR CLEAN BEACH’S OCEAN, AS WE HEAR FROM RICKY MARTIN’S PARTY WITH "LA VIDA LOCA". [sings] LAAA--!” [Note: Chris’s reading of Lolisa’s lines is just as loose as his reading of Jamsta’s.]

[the connection is apparently dropped for a moment]

Excuse me, there. So-- and Megagi’s saying: [uses his Megagi voice, which soon reverts to his normal voice] “HEY, GAL-PALS! WE’RE JUST ENJOYING THE FESTIVITIES! OH – THE OTHER DAY – I SAW THIS CAT GAL FLIRTING WITH BIONIC? I PRESENTED MY "CLAWS" OF OWNERSHIP!”

Oh – and right before, she said that, uh… Rosechu said:

“THAT MEGAGI AND BIONIC… WHAT’S HAPPENIN’?” [Note: Where Chris is reading this line from is a complete mystery.]

And so, eventually, more time passes, and, uh, well… they’re just reclining. [?] Magi-Chan… telepathically says to Bubbles:

"“I’VE JUST DETECTED A SONICHU BALL CRYSTAL IN THE OCEAN.”"

Then, oc-- then, Bubbles replies… in thought:

"“I’LL FETCH IT IN A MINUTE.”"

Then, uh… look who comes in, but old… Black Sonichu, Blake. He’s just walkin’ in front of our-- front of our… girls. And he just kicks sand in their faces, and they’re like:

[uses a girly voice] “HEY!”

[uses his Rosechu voice] “BLACK SONICHU, WHAT’D YOU DO THAT FOR?!”

Rosechu cla-- exclaims. And he says:

[uses his Blake voice] “DON’T BLAME ME! THE SAND WAS IN THE PA--”

[the connection is apparently dropped for a time]

Alright. Sorry about that, uh…

Yeah. Well, he left. Anyway, as I was saying, uh…

Anyway, while Blake is-- while Black Sonichu is achin’ in pain… Bubbles just whis-- whispers smoothly… to him. She’s saying:

"“YOU’RE DOING GREAT.”"

And while straining, he says:

[uses a pained version of his Blake voice] [groans] “GOOD!”

And then-- so, the… a-- in a-- in a acting moment of, uh, rage, Bubbles says:

[uses his Bubbles voice] “ALRIGHT, BIG MAN: I’M GONNA SHOW YA THE POWER OF A WOMAN! IT’S NOT AS GENTLE AS YOU THINK IT IS!”

And they walk off, and, uh, R-Rosechu reali-- and then, Rosechu… kn-knows, so, she, like, she just… gives ’em-- gives ’em, uh, a little glare in their direction. A knowing glare. She says-- she tells ’em-- she's like, uh…

[uses his Rosechu voice again] “SHE THINKS SHE CAN FOOL US… BUT IT’S SO OBVIOUS SHE AND BLAKE ARE TRUE LOVERS.”

And Angelica says:

[uses his Angelica voice, which quickly reverts to his normal voice] “IT’S SO CUTE!”

So, anyway, uh… then, we’ve been [unintelligible for several seconds].

Hmm. Y’know, I wonder… lemme just move away from the table.

Can see all y’all. [chuckles] Maybe my… avatar won’t look so distracted now!

Well, anyway, uh, continuing-- continuing on, though: Jiggli-- just to finish this up, though: Jiggliami… said:

[uses his Jiggliami voice] “THANK YOU, CITIZENS OF CWCVILLE, VIRGINIA! MY DEBUT SONG WAS INSPIRED BY MY PIKACHU BOYFRIEND, WHO SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED FROM MY HOME FIELD. I HAVE MISSED HIM FOR YEARS… FOR HIS SAFE RETURN. I PRESENT Y’ALL… "WAR OF LOVE".” [Note: Chris’s reading of Jiggliami’s lines is at least as loose as his reading of Lolisa’s earlier.]

So, then, zi-- [?] so then, I had-- so, then, I added the song lyrics for the, uh, song that was submitted to me from the original creator of Jiggliami.

But just to skip that for the moment, uh… go back to the point that’s-- the point here:

“AFTER THE CONCERT, UH… BLANCA FOUND HER BOYFRIEND AND LEFT FOR THEIR HOME STATE OF TENNESSEE. AND JIGGLIAMI STAYED IN CWCVILLE TO RECORD HER ALBUMS, IN ACCORDANCE WITH, UH, JIVE RECORDS, THROUGH CWCVILLE STUDIOS. BUT, UH, CURRENTLY IN A TIME VOID… OR, UH, RATHER, IN MY HEART AND HEAD… A CONSEQUENTIAL, CONFLICTING DECISION HAS BEEN MADE.” [Note: Chris changes a few details even while reading this narrative caption.]

End of meeting for this time? [?]

Mmm. Okay. So, I’m assuming that nobody-- oh! Yes?

[Troll question: “Do you have any more Sonichu-themed levels for LittleBigPlanet planned?]

Oh, yeah! I might-- I’m contemplating about that: the, uh, LittleBigPlanet level. I even-- uh, test-- I even… did a little testing for, uh… the, uh, how to make it a speedy level. Well, y’know, basically with glass floors and, uh, hopefully, a loop-de-loop? That’s why I-- that’s pretty much the reason why I… created the te-- the speed test level… with a little bit of, uh… Metal Gear Solid content. Y’know, just basically add a little action to it. And I also tried my hand at a… electrified maze and a… rocketpack! So, the speed test level was pretty much practice for, uh, when I decide to, uh… do the-- do a-- do another Sonichu level in LittleBigPlanet.

[clears throat] Are there any more questions?

As I can see from the-- I can see that some person’s typing up a new mess--

[Troll question: “Are you working on any other Sonichu-related projects besides the comic at the moment or do you have any planned for the near future?”]

Oh, yes! Uh… that’s-- which-- which brings up another topic of interest… that-- y’all can applaud for this! (Where-- where is the alien? [?] There it is.) Okay. But anyway, uh, Animal Crossing: City Folk? It’s official: Sonichu and Rosechu… goin’ to be… villagers… officially created from the, uh… head-- from the head game… master behind there. I got the e-mail the-- earlier today. And so, I replied to give him-- needed to give him my approval, even though a few people managed to, uh, give-- get it early… because-- uh, b-because, uh, they left their Con-- the WiiConnect24 on… one night. But anyway, the official release date for both characters is gonna be on my birthday: February 24th!

[a troll types something]

There ya go! [laughs] Props to Miss Emily over there!

Okay. I see we got another pending question?

[Troll question: “Have you seen the ‘SonichuGirls’ forum?”]

Pssh! Yeah! I love-- I love the ladi-- I love the girls on there! They’re so sweet! Believe me! I’ve been there! Sergeant iPod knows. Yeah. I’ve been there. And I’ve offered so much-- and I’ve-- I offered a lotta input on there. It’s like a little piece of heaven to me!

[a troll types something]

Ah, I see. Well… y’know, hopefully, uh… you will be approved… but you got… to be able to… keep-- you-- but you gotta be able to earn your keep on there, you know? Stay honest. I know you did! Cool.

I-- uh, I enjoy reading the-- reading the individual posts from, uh, every one of the… gals on there. I mean, not only-- uh, good-- not only good, honest opinions, but so many… sweet compliments! I mean, I tell ya: it really boosts-- it’s really boostin’ me up! It makes me feel omnipotent!

Okay. So, uh, any more questions?

[Troll question: “Have you been to another new forum, ‘Gay4Sonichu’?”]

Tshh! Yeah, I’ve heard about it. I don’t care much for it. Uh… I’d rather just, uh, not think about it.

'Cause everybody here knows… that it’s well-proven… that I’m straight. That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it! Really.

[a troll types something]

I see. Hmm. I hear a gap! Hmm. Frankly, I appreciate that. I really do. I appreciate that.

[Troll statement: “I miss Ryan!”]

Yep! We all do. At least I was-- at least I was able to, uh, say what I did about him.

[a troll types something]

Well, that’s alright. At least you came back!

Yeah, but at least I was able to offer my condolences to the family about their loss. I mean, the best thing to do is to just move on. And, uh, just try to be happy from the, uh, mem-- from the good memories they had… while he was around.

[a troll types something]

Hmm. That’s an idea, but I don’t know what he looks like. Hmm. That’s an idea, y’know… anything from his fan art-- I might be able to, uh… use part of that for, like, y’know, I don’t know… maybe additional characters or somethin’. Hunh. I’ll gladly accept them!

Okay. So, uh… if there are no more questions… then, uh, I’ll just, uh, basically, uh… let y’all know when the next-- at the next Sonichu Club meeting. Hopefully, we’ll have more attendance. At least more than I was able to tell, ‘cause I was-- had my eyes down at my comic pages! [chuckles]

But anyway, uh, let’s-- let’s meet-- the next topic-- the next meeting topic will be about, uh… y’know, the way I-- the way I color my pages… and, uh, draw-- and some drawing methods, uh, art styles. Showin’ y’all what I’ve learned. And also, uh, we’ll use some… of the parodies and parties I’ve did in the previous comics!

Part 2
"I gotta split and take care of ah… y’know, a Mother Nature errand..."

Transcript
Chris: So as you know, uh, we do conversational topics… and, you know, y’all could offer real feedback… how y’all felt about them… if y’all agree or disagree about, uh… perspectives… and the color schemes and all- and such. I might swing by, uh, like, y’know, in about an hour… I mean, I got a couple a things to take care of… but, yeah, I’ll swing by y- the IRC in an hour.

Julie: We just wanna chat, not–

Chris: (interrupting) Awesome.

Julie: –necessarily Q&A.

Chris: That’d be cool, you know, I’ll answer some questions, well, if y’all have any, or, you know, I’ll just simply chat, that, that’s fine, that’s cool.

Julie: No I mean like, if you’re gonna come today, we could just, like, talk, like, y’know, regular people.

Chris: Yeah sure, I’ll listen and uh, y’all can just… talk, and I’ll, uh, offer my feedback as well… Ehh, it’s a… (bubbling noises) ahh… this meeting wasn’t a, was a, at least a pretty good success… from my point of view… uh, next time, uh… hmm…

(chimes and a honking noise) That’s the sound of [something] as I post it on the… cale- on the thing there. Bulletin board. Well I’m glad you enjoyed it… I mean, uh, more or less, I was able to, uh, still enjoy reading for y’all… I mean, couple a trolls and distractions, distractions set aside. Least I was able to ah, record it, and I’ll be able to upload segments onto YouTube later. In addition to comic pages.

Cool! You won’t have to wait long! I mean, Monday’s the latest!

I’m glad you feel that way! It’s been ho- it’s been honor and a privilege to uh, read to at least, my- my female fans. And, uh, y’know, the majority that of y’all that attended were able to enjoy it… at least in the for moment (?). Well hopefully we’ll be able to enjoy the discussion in next m- of the next meeting… as well. (various sound effects play )

(faintly) I didn’t set- yeah- (normal volume) I did not set a date for the next meeting yet… certain off (?) to check with my calendar… but it will be ah, you know, next month… within the first few days… hmm. But like let’s see, you know what let’s, let’s talk about the- the day of the week that might work best for, uh, everybody. I mean, I was- I mean I just thought Friday was a good day… but, uh… there are better day, that, uh, might be more po- (sound cuts out for several seconds)

…distracted… then this one, and uh, this gib tig, home (?) might not be a big success, but, you know, at least you know… ("breathes") where the… cer- where the guys should give eye contact. You know what? Here’s a thought! They should be able to fix it where, I could tilt the head, with my Six-Axis, just like, a- just like on the LittleBigPlanet… with their Sackboy? I could tilt their head? My Six-Axis? (high-pitched) It would look better. (normal) Then I could actually make my s- give more effort into giving, my- (sound cuts out) I mean yeah I could go through my Friends list, and uh, delete the- delete the friends that have been offline the longest… hmm. Yeah. The [something]- the people behind Home, as well as Sony Computer Entertainment… are, uh, listening in as well… so then, uh, you know… they can actually… get all this, feedback… here. And you know another thing wanna think about? If they actually were able to, ah… I mean, I’ve heard, they uh, had this before? But they took it away because, some people, discurded [sic] it with, uh, pornography, and such? But like, you know, presenting pictures, and video, on the uh, TV’s and picture frames. They should damn(?) listen to listen to these tips there since I can now- look at a club house! Look at a nice new TV here but yet… I can’t… watch it, or even show anything on there at this time! That’s- um, if I was able to, it’d definitely prove better!

(in agreement) I hear that! I totally agree! Yeah! (several seconds of silence) Tourettes (?), d’you mean to say “ditto”? Or, me too? I mean, I just wanna make sure I understand, but, I mean… y’know that’s another thing, with the, ah… text messaging and all, they just… use… the letters… (exhales) acronyms? It’s the- there- sometimes, it’s like, y’know, if the other person doesn’t understand fully, you have to explain it to them, sooo, in a way it’s a time-saver, but in a way it’s not! (several seconds of silence)

(in agreement) I hear you on there. But fortunately though but- I myself was able to invest in my wireless keypad… and you know what? They’re really worth the investment. Don’t have to plug in a USB keyboard. Even though I [blyeh?] have to plug in my wireless keypad to recharge it. But, you know what, definitely works! If you’re… um, if you’re [indecipherable] to, ah, press them. (high-pitched) You know what, (normal) something like a Blackberry I guess, ‘cause the uh, keys are that small. I mean, it’s like, you turn your controller into your… keyboard. Definitely worth the investment. (several seconds of silence)

And if you think about it, considering uh, every GameStop, you’ll be able to ah, trade in your old games or accessories… You give you, ah, trade up there, uh… definitely might be worth your while, you know, n’you just, uh, take, some, take some dough- take some dollars, out for the forty-nine ninety-nine pricetag… And you know the other day I trade, a, couple a games in to uh… go, to go towards uh, paying off uh… Sonic: Unleashed. End up paying only seventeen cents cash! ‘Cause you know, ah, it totaled up to like, uh, forty-nine eighty-five, something like that? And then you add tax and the cents! From the remaining cents! And it’s only like a couple a cents! Gamestop. Hmm. Power to the players. (drip sound effect)

(in agreement) I hear you on that. Yup. (more sound effects) And then they’re not. You’re still, uh, having feelings for those games ‘cause you played them before and you… had memories? And you know, like, even if, even if you trade them in they’re still a memory no ma- like, you know, eventually, at a lower price, possibly even lower than the amount you traded it in for, you’d be able to get it back. And break even. But y’know… time would heal the wounds in that case, but yet- and the (lower/later?) one, the value would still be decreasing, even lower. (several seconds of silence)

Oh, you know this is an interesting topic? Interesting to mention? That Metal Gear Solid 4, used, is currently, only twenty-nine ninety-nine? It- (I think it cuts out here)

All right well ladies, it’s been fun… but I gotta split and take care of ah… y’know, a Mother Nature errand… so… y’know, it’s been fun… I’ll talk to y’all eventual- ah- individually, among, th- various times, or, to next meeting… y-ye-y’all understand. All right, so I- y’all take care now, I’ll see y’all later.