User:Lorrihed/Facebook Statuses

'''DONT FUCK WITH THIS PAGE. I'M ATTEMPTING TO FIX THE THREE FACEBOOK PAGES BUT IT'LL TAKE SOME TIME. IGNORE THIS ARTICLE TIL THIS IS GONE'''

What I am looking for in a woman
(note: this note was posted on the same day Bob died)

An Open Note (4/13/2012)
(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.
Chris later commented:

I have decided
Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

Chris later commented:

Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D
On 28 April 2012, Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he let the trolls get to him in the mall, resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

He also takes the time to issue idle death threats to his trolls at the end of his bellowing, almost as if he was desperate for people to take him seriously.

Hey, Trollies
Feeling the need to brag again, Chris posted on Facebook taunting the trolls that he wouldn't say a word about what he was up to....and ends up confirming that he got banned from the mall like a dumbass, lost his virginity to a hooker and went to a Mythbusters tour, ironically divulging more about himself than anybody currently knew for the last few months.

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to Jamie Hyneman; there was a MythBusters live show in Washington, D.C. on 24 March 2012, 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville. Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the MythBusters tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

To The Trolls
This message was in response to a discussion on the CWCki forums about a poster campaign on 2 June 2012, alerting the people of Charlottesville to Chris's degeneracy.

Hey! Damn trolls!
Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and his impending arraignment in July, the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.

In this post's comment section, Anna suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

You WILL be brought in!
One day following his arraignment, Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, Anna chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

Stop sending me friend requests!
To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, Savannah Chandler liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

Please forgive me!
On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with manajerks at McDonalds and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox Megan Schroeder due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic. Subsequently, on October 21, Chris posted an apology as a public status on Facebook. A couple weeks later, he deleted it.

No trolling plans
In this post, Chris screencaps the CWCki Forums and remarks how its users are conspiring to troll him, despite the fact that no actual post discusses plans to troll Chris.

Smiley
Chris finishes watching Smiley, a universally panned low-budget movie, and takes it upon himself to extrapolate an anti-trolling theme. Chris also expresses his belief that this R-rated film should be exhibited to high school students as a form of education and feels it would reduce teen suicides.

Open Letter to Tara Strong
Chris takes a moment to publicly blast My Little Pony voice actress Tara Strong for apparently contributing to the cyber-bullying epidemic.

One troll decided to forward this message to Tara Strong on Facebook, assuming that she'd get a kick out of it. The following day, Tara actually responded:

Despite not knowing about Chris at all before reading his rant, Tara seemed to have caught on that Chris is an attention whore right from the get-go. While he had succeeded in what many trolls assumed to be an utterly ridiculous campaign (although one can easily argue that it was Chris' trolls who pushed the pieces into place), Chris' attitude has once again made him a pariah, this time with the Brony community.

Trolling is Abhor-able
Chris followed the previous letter up with a brief note expressing his well-known distaste for trolls.

I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out
Chris responds to criticism that his open letter is ridiculous.

So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact
Possibly in reference to helpful advice Rocky or the court-appointed counselor has given him, Chris complains about the difficulty of eye contact.

Anna once again mindlessly agrees with Chris in a reply to his post, remarking that eye contact is like "staring into a bright light."

Sonichu is not dead
Chris remarks that Sonichu has not died, despite rumors to the contrary, and makes no promises for the return of the Sonichu comic. Interestingly enough, he claims he "was an amateur", implying that he is now professional and the quality of his work has improved. Of course, the rest of us know that this is almost certainly not the case.

Gay Marriage
Oblivious to a pivotal moment in US history, Chris complains about frequent media coverage of the gay marriage Supreme Court case Hollingsworth v. Perry, probably because the news is preempting his My Little Pony reruns. Chris also takes this time to express his support for lesbian marriage while blasting the "damn homosexual men", probably only because lesbians are hot and homo men are icky.

The next day, Anna called Chris out on his bigotry, showing that his behavior is even beginning to alienate his enablers:

On 31 March, Chris shot back with this red herring that fails to address the original issue:

In addition, another one of Chris' friends joined in on the fray, attempting to inject some insight into Chris' rambling train of thought:

On April 1, Chris predictably responded with this set of delusions and contradictions:

In short, Chris is against gay marriage because of his trolls, also subscribing to the belief that all homosexual men are trolls hellbent on his (and Sonichu's) destruction. By making the entire argument about himself, Chris has also conviently ignored Kim's original point of lesbians taking away the women.

On 2 April, Kim made note of Chris' non-answer:

Game Place
Chris, five years after his ban and a half-year after its legal enforcement, still obsesses about Michael Snyder and The GAMe PLACe.

Sega Mascot Contest
Chris complains about Sega hosting a mascot contest, believing from the linked article that they are trying to replace Sonic the Hedgehog.

Chris then added a reply to his own Facebook post, which he subsequently "liked".

"The Trolls Who Cry Woman"
Chris posts a rather insensitive musing, comparing online socialization to teenage pregnancy, starring in porn and being raped. He also goes on to rant about "being set up" (most likely referring to his date with Emily and the Pickle Man.)

Headache
Chris makes another "musing":

...your guess is as good as ours as to what that even means.

THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!
Chris-Chan gives his thoughts on the upcoming movie, My Little Pony: Equestria Girls

Four minutes later Chris posted the following response to his note:

Chris had funny Facebook statuses on his old profile, and continues to have them on his current profile.