Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails

In the late summer of 2010, Clyde Cash and other trolls offered a series of bounties for various achievements in trolling Chris on Trollin Train. One of the rewards: US$9,001 for the destruction via blunt force trauma of Chris's PS3.

Chris discovered the announcement and apparently decided that he himself could pick up a piece of the action. The following communications reveal that it wasn't actually that simple. They also provided valuable background and context to the MovingFoward videos and Chris's filmed visit to Charlottesville Fashion Square on 31 August, before Trollin Train was made public.

The e-mails reveal that Chris is once again claiming to have a girlfriend. She later turned out to be Jackie.

The e-mails
Chris's communications are on a blue background, Clyde's on a green background, and Tito's are on a pink background.

Tito appears
ALOHA LITTLE CUZ!

It's been like what, a few months after that whole [Wallflower] Incident? I knew you blocked me so I had to create this new email to talk about the $9,001 reward.

Anyways, I've received orders from Clyde to hand over the money to you.

Atleast I would have if you read the fine print in my thread.

If you go to my thread and look really close, brudda, you would have noticed that there were some qualifications for being eligible for the reward.

Since you're probably too busy with other things, I will recite the fine print.

this little tiny line right under here was the qualification, and you missed it thinking it looked like my "" breaks

You are only qualified for the reward if you have signed a contract agreement for Clyde Cash before entering the Trolling establishment. Reward qualifies for you to Pay tribute to Tito for Security Protection, along with forfeiting your white women for the black man in the pickle suit. You will not be qualified for the reward if you are Chris Chan.

And another thing little cuz, the reward money is for people who TROLL you. You can't troll yourself, so how can you collect the money? These trolls do not have welfare to depend on like do you fatty. It's their job to troll you. They rely on their trolling prizes to survive.

Now if you were that cool trolling guy jenkinsjinkies The money would've been his seeing that he was closer to you.

The Reward Was For Trolling You

Did the Autobots ever give the Decepticons reward money because the decepticons stole their own energon? I think not, little cuz.

Did you know that you destroyed the only ps3 with backwards compatibility?

You smashed a $700 dollar console you fucking NAIVE IDIOT!

That is the only console you could've got all of your money back & probably even more $$.

no other version of the console can do that.

I don't about giving you the cash but I can at the LEAST give you the bubble wrap that you wanted.

As the Ancient Hawaiians Used to say:

Just Because you can afford the modern long board, doesn't you can mean honor the moving water@undefined

Ok fatty, Clyde really likes your video. He wants me to bend the rules.

Let's pick a dropoff point for the money.

Meet me at:

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA

at 2:00 PM tomorrow.

An agent in a pickle suit will meet you there with $9001 in twenty dollar denominations.

If you're not there at 2:00 pm I'm spending the money on hookers and blow. I don't care what Clyde says, I don't feel like giving a welfare sapping fat shit like you a bunch of money

As The Ancient Hawaiians Used to say:

Don't Be late.

Your Troll

Tito@undefined

Haha. Who do you think you are calling the shots?

Look, we're paying people to troll you. You can't troll yourself. I'm only even giving you this money because Clyde seems to think that killing your PS3 was improvement on your life.

Don't test me, you are in no position to dictate terms to me fatty.

Do you understand that? You are relying on my generosity fatso, do NOT test me.

Ok, fine fatty, meet me in Fashion Square mall. In front of Chick-fil-A. 2:00 PM tomorrow. If you do not show up, I am taking this money to the nearest Hawaiian Brothel.

Capiche? Tito@undefined

Wait wait wait, hold the fucking phone.

I just had one of Clyde's asian technicians look at the video.

They spotted an intact hard drive in the corner of one of the frames.

You greasy fat weasel. You're saving the hard drive.

No, you're not getting your money until we get video of you smashing the three hard drives you have. Forget using a Brick, it's clear that even the asian girl that smashed the ps3 had more strength than you. I'm sure that you were in so much distress when you destroyed your ps3, it must've felt like what a mother feels when she drowns a baby in a sink. You hold that much feeling for an object it makes me repulsed.

I don't care how it gets destroyed, Bricked, Car, & knifed. Hell I would suggest you would do All 3 for this shit.

And Clyde was going to give you this money because he thought you were improving. I don't even want to show him the evidence of you being a sneaky fat rat, little cuz. You owe him that much

Listen here, I am the Hawaiian Joe Pesci to Clyde's Robert De Niro from Casino. I make sure what Clyde wants, Clyde Gets, and a naive Robotnik look-a-like such as yourself is going to get money from the boss.

& don't even try to think you have any upper hand in the negotiations. May I remind that you weren't even eligible for the reward in the first place.

you are in no position to dictate terms to me. I could be an total asshole and make you fulfill Jack Thadeus' deal to sing Okay 2 b gay correctly. Remember Jack's "black mail" that you so call it. Even at that time you thought you had any bargaining privileges. But I'm not going to unless if you goof up again

But Right Now i'm feeling generous to give you 1 last chance.

There was an Ancient Hawaiian saying: "He who owns the gold makes the rules."

Fuck you,

Tito

Get me that video or you get nothing.

P.S: Why the fuck are you apologizing to Sony Computer Entertainment of America? You treat a fucking corporation like it's god damned human being. Some CEO Big shot from Sony is probably viewing your video from his mansion viewing your antics like a boy views ants@undefined

What an awful, awful person you are. You're more concerned with the feelings of a faceless corporation that exists to squeeze money out of you than: your parents, your friends or the taxpayers who work hard to support your fat ass. And I'm sure this will all be pointless because you're going to get another PS3.@undefined

just talked to Junior, he said he never would've made any agreement with a welfare sapping naive retarded bastard such as yourself.

what are trying to pull to fatty?@undefined

Aftermath
Chris attached all the Tito e-mails to a message to Clyde, and added this:

To Tito:

Heh fatty, I just read that email that you sent to Clyde earlier. Clyde informed me to relay that he doesn't appreciate a shit stirring faggot like yourself trying to cause drama. Clyde left me in charge of disseminating this money to you. I control his finances. He empowered me to tell you to fuck off if you do anything funny.

You have to deal with me.

Since we have a few picklemen working at Fashion Square, we can have one of them pay you. Meet our agent at the Starbucks at 2:00 PM.

We'll be there, our agent should have a briefcase with the cash.

Don't try to dictate terms to us. You either meet on our terms, or you don't get your money. Makes no difference to me. Actually, it'd be cool if you got cocky and gave me reason to tell you to fuck off. Then I'd take your money to a whorehouse.

You may be a bigshot over at 14 branchland court but your tugboat don't float in our waters, little cuz.

Your troll,

tito.@undefined

Look Buddy, you're giving ME one more chance, lard ass?

Tell me how many other people are lining up to give you $9,001. (there aren't). Giving you 1 dollar of that is a bad idea enough.

You will recognize the agent that will give you the money, She'll have a pickle Tattoo right on her nice rack that is about as big as your man boobs, little cuz.@undefined

You want more money? We gave you your money. We first went to the Starbucks inside the mall and we didn't see you. We saw some fat guy with big juggly hooters but no Christian Weston Chandler.

We thought you got mixed up and went to the wrong Starbucks, so we tried the other one and we found you. You had your medallion and your sapphire high school ring, so we knew it was the true and honest Chris-Chan.

You looked like you lost some weight, congrats.

Your Troll,

Tito@undefined

No, you fat shit, you're trying to rip us off. We saw you in your brown striped shirt with your sapphire high school ring. I talked to your wife with the big boobs. I know it was you because of the retarded voice, the sapphire ring and the medallion.@undefined