Animal Crossing Documentary

The Animal Crossing Documentary is an hour-long video featured on Chris's homemade DVD. Here, you can watch 21-year-old Chris reach the peak of his maturity, as he immerses himself in a video game targeted for kids on one cold November afternoon. Because of how the video is made (gameplay with the player commentating), this could mean Chris created one of the first-ever video.

Analysis
The video offers tours of two different towns saved on two different memory cards. The town of CWCville is home to Sonichu, who wears a Sonichu outfit. The town of CWC City is home to Crystal, who wears a Rosechu outfit.

Some of the narration centers around Chris complaining to Nintendo about his many personal problems. One can only imagine how the hapless Nintendo Power employee tasked with watching this video felt at hearing Chris constantly bring up his virginity and lack of a girlfriend. He expects the company to remember his fan letters regarding his dreams. He also implies that the company should send him birthday presents, reissue trading cards that went out of print so Chris can collect them, and adopt his fan characters as official Pokémon. He also expresses his distaste for the PlayStation and the PS2, but speaks fondly of many obsolete consoles he owns that weren't made by Nintendo. He also mentions he dislikes a  game because it's "not real" (which is disturbing in retrospect).

Chris has spent an exorbitant amount of money on Animal Crossing, purchasing not only the base game (retailing at $49.99) but also a number of relatively obscure hardware add-ons that add functionality to the game, including the Game Boy Advance link cable (MSRP $10.00), the e-Reader (retailing at around $40.00) and numerous e-Reader cards. Chris's propensity for blind brand loyalty and consumerism is on full display here: although the aforementioned e-Reader was maligned by many Nintendo fans and is largely forgotten today, Chris fell for it hook, line and sinker, mentioning that he owns a whopping 63 e-Reader cards (which, considering each pack of Animal Crossing cards included five cards and retailed for $5.00, means that Chris spent a minimum of $60.00 on cards alone, assuming that the leftover 3 cards were freebies that were found loose and not purchased).

Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' debut album is featured prominently, as Chris sings several of the songs aloud and has the CD on repeat playing quietly in the background. "Yellow is a Mellow Color" plays at least three times in the span of an hour. He also sings along to parts of the game. Much like the boatman Charon ferried the souls of the damned to Hades, a character shuttles Sonichu across a river while Chris sings in the voice that got him fired from Wendy's. The singing becomes high-pitched gibberish after two stanzas.

There are a few odd moments, like where Chris compares two fighting insects to I Love Lucy, says a dark-skinned hippopotamus reminds him of , and talks about his strained relationship with his father. Chris also doesn't mention the, showing his ignorance of popular music outside of 90's teen pop and the older music Bob liked. Also, he will gladly pull weeds in this game but not in real life.

Chris mentions "profit" from selling in-game items over and over again. This in no way involves real money and is just Chris selling easily-found items dropped by the game to purchase more furniture and crap, which he finds validating. Chris probably enjoys the game because it showers him with rewards for completing simple tasks, none of which are challenging or stressful.

Chris mentions that his favorite of the NES games available to play in-game is  because it "really challenges the mind in the math area". The math featured in the game is simple arithmetic that should be well below the average middle schooler's level, much less that of a 21-year-old college student who supposedly graduated high school on the honor roll.

This "documentary" also provides insight into how Chris projects his own lifestyle onto a video game. His hoarding enters the realm of video games, as he uses his island house to store almost a dozen dressers full of in-game objects. His two houses are full of clutter, his in-game bedrooms look eerily like his own (right down to a small bed surrounded by clutter), and he refers to every generic "nice" female character as being sweet, and being a genuine friend of his.

This is Chris at his most infantile, immersing himself in a game full of soft animal characters with no conflict or challenge. Throughout the documentary, Chris tells jokes that don't make sense in the given context and plays his poorly dubbed versions of pop songs. Note that most of the animals in the game immediately run into their houses whenever Chris tries to go near them.

Transcription
Introduction

[Video begins with the Nintendo GameCube startup logo as Chris sings along like a retard, followed by the Nintendo logo with Chris saying "Nintendo."]

[00:24]

Hello Nintendo! Welcome to my Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube. I am your host. My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I live in Ruckersville, Virginia and I is [sic] 21 years old and I play because I am young at heart. So anyway we are going to take a tour of my ci-ty...in Animal Crossing.

[Goes to main menu]

[00:48]

The city's name is CWCville. See, those are my initials CWC. That's why it is spelled that way.

[Picking menu options]

[01:01]

And my character's name is Sonichu. You may remember him from, ahh, previous letters I have sent to you guys in the past.

[01:10]

[Game starts to load town]

Anyway we are going to get set up now. [Chris starts singing]

[Game is done loading]

We usually do have a good time.

[1:25]

So anyway, stepping out is my character Sonichu. He's wearing the clothes with the character on it. Like I said you might remember his face. And there's his actual face. [Shows a sign with the face of Sonichu on it]

You remember the rest of his body you see the whole picture.

And before we get to the daily routines I'm goin' let you...I'm goin' to take you on a tour of my house as well as uh, as well as you know, uh, a daily routine. We'll take a tour of the town, but first the house. You see this logo here, that is the logo to my website on the internet. If you would like to visit, here is the address. I'm going to leave it up for a few seconds.

[Shows the address to his website for a few seconds]

[2:02]

Alright, that's enough. Now we're gonna take a tour of my house.

Turn on the light so you can see better. This is my first floor, obviously. I keep things well organized. I got room to walk around in; I can even dance, wanna see me do I bit?

[Chris begins to sing]

Yellow is a mellow color Yes it is a mellow color Sonichu zaps a lightning EEEEEHHHHH mellow color

[Chris stops singing]

Yeah. Course...a...when I, a...do a dance...I usually like to have my uh...audience.

[Chris puts a wallpaper up on his house, resembling wrestling fans who just witnessed a Stone Cold Stunner.]

Dodedododododoo. But since it's getting close to Christmas, I have the snowflakes on the wall instead. And I keep it in this closet. So anyway here's a fun thing. This snowman, he teach me how to play piano. And by the way just to let you know in case...a...you can hear the, a...music in the background.

[Chris appears to be playing So Need a Cute Girl]

Those are my karaoke numbers that I actually ma...that I actually made up lyrics to, and I have played and, uh, sang my voice over the originals. So let me give you an example; may I Mister Snowman? "Please go right ahead!" Alright.

[Chris begins to sing again while Sonichu bangs on the piano, which emits no sound]

Tell me why I'm stuck as a Virgin with Rage? Tell me why I so need a Cute Girl my age Tell me why I never wanna Hear you say I have a boyfriend!

[Chris stops singing]

And that was inspired by a real thing. By the way that's your website...that is your website isn't it? Nintendo.com, it's a nice place to visit; but we cannot live there. Which brings us up to our next subject...

[A calendar of November appears on the screen]

...the diary. You guys did a good job of it going back and forth within a 12 month radius. By the way, this is my birthday, right here my actual birthday, I was born in 1982. You guys...in case you want to take a note there. OK, that's long enough. So anyway uh, it does make a...not only does it work for a calendar, but it makes for a good monthly journal. As for a monthly journal entry here in November.

[Chris begins to scroll up and down his journal entry]

Yeah I tried to get a girlfriend because, I don't have a girlfriend. But I have made up a poem, let you guys read it.

All right. Scroll down a little bit as we go along.

''...cute girl my age. Tell me why, I ain't ever wanna hear you say 'I have a boyfriend.'" And so, deep in dreary thought, a girl was what I sought. A stitch in time, will never remove my...''

It's a very good pro...poem, because I am an artist, as well as a poet. I make a rhyme every time.

''...crying rhyme. I may be destined for loneliness forever, fate is to blame...whatever. I conclude this cry, to say that as long as there are no matching girls, my happiness well runs dry.''

Anyway that's my poem, but in case...a, you didn't notice here. Look right here, "Tell me why, I'm stuck as a virgin with rage." I put my song lyric in here because it was inspired; because I do not have a girlfriend. You know why, cause I have a phobia that every girl I talk to she already has a boyfriend.

Right. So anyway moving on with the tour of my house. As you can see I've got- I'm collecting the NES games. I've got most of them down here, and I've got a couple upstairs. One of 'em's fake you know the one I'm talking about, does April 1st strike a bell? But my favorite game is right here.

["Would you like to play DK Jr MATH?"]

I like it because...a, it really challenges the mind in the math area and gets your memory fresh there. And by the way, notice the two logos here?

[Chris is making a motion towards the GameCube and N64 logos]

It's a good way to welcome the guests, that come into your house. Ol' Nintendo 64 on the left, and GameCube on the right, caught them before an after deal. Oh and look at this, a good little south feng shui here. Of course makes for a good welcome mat. Speaking of feng shui, I've got my red items against the east side, in hopes of getting more NES games; specially that Wario's Woods. By the way, how the heck do you get that game anyway? I mean all you tell us do to is to go to Animal Island. And then what the heck do we do? You should have given us more details, back in the previous issue of uh, the Crossing Guardian.

Speaking of which I've been a long time subscriber. So therefore I've got all their previous issues. And I time travel back and forth when I start Animal Crossing to collect a few items, but in respect to uh...time traveling back because I missed a few items, I made a new character named "Tim Timetale" and, uh, he time-traveled back and got the remaining items, give them to me, as well as the other character I made up, and, uh, the, uh, the other city in Slot B, which, uh, I'll tell you about that later.

[6:45]

[Character walks up stairs to the second floor of house]

Anyway, we're going upstairs. This is my bedroom. It's a lot of fun, isn't it, because I like to make things fun since, you know, I'm young at heart. And here's a fun joke. Turn on the TV [he does, but it just shows static] sit down and watch TV while I wait t-to get on the Internet. It's a good way to kill time anyway. Anyway, here's the fake [brings up caption for the April Fool's NES game, Super Tortimer]. Sound familiar? Right [sighs]. Anyway, this is my bed. The harvest bed. Nice choice, isn't it? I'm going to take a quick nap.

[7:17]

[Character lays down on bed while Chris makes snoring noises too close to the microphone]

OK. Nap's over. All right. You want to see my music collection? [Brings up music menu] It's all good. I got them all courtesy of K.K. Slider. Well, of course, the first one was a freebie from the e-Reader card. "Swipe, Swipe, Swipe". Anyway, here's the fan and the Mario Brothers stuff. Oh, and uh you notice what time it is? It's 1:15. Good time to start. In the afternoon.

[7:48]

[Character walks down stairs to first floor of house]

Anyway, now we're going down to the basement.

[Character walks down stairs to the basement of house]

Let me just turn on the lights. I keep my models down here. It's a nice little aero fa [sic] models, and I leave enough room for me to walk around in. Well, that's a cute joke.

"Hey. Stop. You're under arrest." "What for?" "For, uh, being the black market, you red fox." "Ah, geez."

And I got both houses. Yeah, I scored that high with the HRA. Notice this train? I wonder where it's headed to. It's probably headed over to the memory card in Slot B. I'll tell you about that city later. Anyway. This is where I do my cooking. If, uh, if you can ever do your cooking in Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube. I have that DVD. And this is the fridge. I could store my food in there, but I can't. What? Does it have a padlock on it or something? Oh, look. Here's my phone. Let's make a phone call. [Pulls up phone menu, calling the Dial-a-Psychic] Hello? Thank you. Good advice. Hey. Let's have a seat on this thing. I like this thing. Listen to this. [Character sits on the couch and it makes a fart noise]. Let me do that again. [Character again jumps on the farting couch] One more time. [Character again jumps on farting couch with predictable results] OK. That's enough. Too much fun and you'll die laughing.

[9:04]

[Character walks up stairs to first floor of house]

So anyway, that's my house. Let me just turn off the lights before I leave.

[Character walks out the front door of house]

Alright, now where going to go through my daily routines. As well as a tour of the town.

[Pause menu pops up]

You notice I've got an empty inventory. And by the way, here's a good rule of thumb. Keeping my shovel, net, pole, axe, and letters here on the bottom row. You know why? I'll tell you bout that when we get to the Nook shop. Anyway, I usually check my mail; what do you know I got three presents. Let's see what this one is though. Bob.

''How ARE you, Sonichu? Well now, I bet your bottom Bell you didn't expect me to cut out and split town, huh? Nope, I shocked the world! I'm turning over a new leaf- see you on the flip side! Laters, Bob''

Oh I guess he moved out, oh well.

[Sonichu proceeds to throw out poor Bob's letter, then collect his gifts from the remaining letters]

Anyway, let's see what we got from the, uh, probably from the museum; because I dig up those fossils and uh...I sell them. Makes a nice profit.

[Sonichu throws away all three letters]

I just quickly uh read through them and then throw them away. You know like...junk mail! You could also say pop-ups if they had "x's" on em.

[Sonichu begins to open his gifts]

See what we got here, A dinosaur track, a Tricera tail, and a dinosaur egg. Well that'll make a nice profit. By the way, in case you missed it the first time I'll put it up again.

[Once again shows the address to his website]

Ok you got it, alright now. Before we head to Nook's shop which will be the last stop on the tour; we go- we're gonna take the rest of the tour here. Alright let's see. Well this is the train station. But I travel to the other city which I'll tell you about now. The name of the city is CWCcity. Spelled C-W-C-c-i-t-y, we'll visit there later, but not by train of course. It'll be a hou-It'll be a run by the, uh, character named Crystal, C-r-y-s-t-a-l, when we get there. All right. Oh, look at this, a hole in the ground.

[opens the menu to equip his golden shovel]

Yeah, you see, sometimes there's an item in CWCcity. I don't have it here in CWCville because I have CWCville a lot longer than CWCcity. I bring stuff from CWCcity over here.

[he digs up the buried item - it's a folding chair]

'Cause obviously I did not collect this one yet. I got a good memory.

[Sonichu screws up and digs another hole; he cleans both of them up]

And also, you know, I got a good taste for music because I grew up on music. So anyway let's move on with- oh, you notice this [a golden statue of Sonichu]? You know why this is here?

[This statue was erected in honor of Sonichu's full loan repayment!]

I paid my debt. And this is Sonichu's mug again, right next to the master.

[''Sonichu runs past a sign reading "H.F.A." with two almost invisible red eyes'']

Oh, look at this. H.F.A. And very mean eyes. Must mean something bad. ...I know what it means. I'll tell you about it at the end of the documentary here. Uh, the city of CWCville and CWCcity, or otherwise all the deal [?] in Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube, in a nutshell.

[Sonichu enters the acre with the post office on it]

So anyway, here's the post office, do my mailing and such and the e-Reader swipes. By the way there's a good way to profit from the e-Reader, I'll tell you about it in CWCcity.

[Sonichu comes across a shining ring in the ground]

Oh, what do you know! A money spot. I'll just dig up the thousand bells.

[Sonichu pulls a shovel out of his inventory and digs up the money sack]

Yep, thousand bells, just bury that up. Mmm, drag it up there. Use the R button to quickly pick up the items.

[Sonichu enters the acre with the dump in it, he enters it]

Anyway, here's the dump. I come here first, pick up the- whatever items I want every time I start Animal Crossing. Hmm, got a shirt, what do we have here? A plant. I's have picked up a pothos before so I know it's a plant.

[Sonichu starts wandering into some acres filled with trees]

I don't really use plants in my house you n-n-noticed, except for that Christmas Tree but that's for, you know, the holidays. Anyway she's around here, I want to show you my favorite character that I kind of got to know from the start.

[Sonichu finds his way into an acre with a house on it]

Oop, she just went in. So let's go say hello.

[Sonichu follows some green squirrel into a house and rams into it]

Yeah uhm, uhm, would you come out here please?

[Sonichu walks back into the center of the room and back into the green squirrel, he pushes it into a corner]

Mmm... Darnit, I can't see her but anyway uh, I think you recognize her. Oh here we go a little bit. Yeah Mint, she's a sweety.

[Sonichu talks to Mint about some random crap]

She gave me a birthday present on my 21st birthday when I time-traveled back. Talk to me!

[Mint rambles on about how it's cold out and how winter's coming]

Well, what did ya expect? It's November.

[Mint asks Sonichu if he has a heater]

Yeah I got a heater in the basement.

[Mint jokingly mocks him about turning on heaters during November]

[Chris chuckles] Yea.

[Mint says something about how it's going to get colder]

That's right. Well, I'll see you later Minty, you're a sweety.

[Sonichu leaves Mint's house]

Anyway that's uhh all so on the trip. We'll take a look at all the other colorful characters we have around here.

[The town map comes up, different acres are examined]

Also uh every time I keep track of the-uh map so that I can see if anyone new came in. Oh, we got a new neighbor, Bertha. I haven't noticed her before. So she's obviously new. So anyway uh, let's move on.

[Sonichu starts running through the woods and comes across some kangaroo]

Here's another character I grew up with. Actually she moved in, and lived here most of the time. Marcy. And now she's wearing a Sonichu shirt. Sonichu is very popular in CWCville.

[Sonichu heads south to an acre with some green mouse's house in it]

There's Anicotti, she just went in.

[Sonichu heads west and finds some horse's house]

And there's Elmer. He just went in, he's one of the senior citizens around here too. I say that because he's lived here- by the way our ne- our city pe- fruit is a peach. But I've grown a lot of orange, pears n such.

[14:15]

[Sonichu heads west and finds a white cat, she says something about how CWCville is amazing]

Oh whaddya' know, it's that girl from the train.

[He talks to Blanca]

I draw her face every time, but when I'm in a hurry I just color it, the whole thing, and she just looks like a... Blank face. But I gave her a face last time.

[''Sonichu starts to head out of the acre but turns around and runs back in, Yellow Is a Mellow Color begins to play in the background. Chris's "singing" is clearly audible'']

Oh, there was another character up here on the hill.

[Sonichu heads to a goat's house by a river]

And she just came out, Chevre. What do you know, she's wearing Elmer's clothes.

[Sonichu runs out of that acre back into the woods]

Anyway, moving on with the tour.

[''Sonichu comes to some giant tree with a fountain thing in front of it, Chris mistakes it for a well. Some billboards are to the right of it'']

Well, [Chris chortles] good joke. Anyway I also, you know I like to use the billboards, put my signs up. There's my Sonichu site logo, there's Sonichu's mug. I got two here side by side represent the holidy and such. Yea here we got your corn that you got from the previous issue and I drew this leaf.

[It doesn't look like a leaf]

Obviously for Thanksgiving and the harvest festival.

[A blue bear walks into the video]

Oh, look there's Groucho. He's wearin' a Sonichu site shirt. Let's say hello.

[Sonichu starts speaking with Groucho]

Entertain me.

[Groucho bitches about his mom and fruit]

A fruit huh?

[Groucho offers Sonichu an apple, Sonichu accepts]

I-I'll take one. Yeah, it makes a nice little profit when you talk to them and most of the time it happens from the jobs.

[Sonichu walks east and comes across a green lion's house]

So anyway. Yeah, here's Leopold, he moved in a long time-

[Sonichu makes his way to a green rooster's abode]

Here's Hank, he's one of the senior citizens around here also. [unintelligible]

[Sonichu runs to a teal hippo's house]

Let's go see our new neighbor. Oh, here she is. She must be Bertha. Hello Bertha.

[Sonichu talks to Bertha, Bertha talks about how nice the town is, etc.]

It is a nice place. Heh you're scatterbrained. Yeah, okay, well see you around!

[Sonichu heads south towards a museum]

[Chris Grunts] Here's the Museum.

[Sonichu heads inside]

Let's go look at the exhibits.

[We see the inside of the museum as Sonichu heads toward the insect section]

First, we'll look at the bug exhibit.

[Sonichu is now inside the insect section]

I caught most of the bugs.

I'll show 'ya. This is my bug collection, I caught them all one-by-one and donated them one-by-one.

Wanna' see my number of fish? Not as much. Not as much. Anyway, uh, all the bugs are just runnin' around here. Hey, whaddya' know, we got a couple- few bugs on the trees here. Two of them are fighting. Well, that's funny, like Lucy and Desi. I love Lucy.

Anyway, uh, nebit, cebit, zibit, the fish exhibit. Yeah, you can see here I caught those fish and I donated them. Hmm, this one is empty. I guess it's waiting for a kind donation. Yeah, here's a bunch of fish; here's some more fish. One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

Alright, anyway, moving on with the tour the museum, take a look at the paintings. I haven't gotten them all yet, but, uh, I got a few. Here's a nice one, it's strange though. sw- why- I gu- why I'd call it a strange painting. Yeah, some of them are- most of them are just waiting for a kind donation, but I got this one from a swipe. Your uh, Common Painting, from Ol' Boots. Well, my favorite painting around here is, uh, right here. Washington crossing the Delaware, but you guys call it the Classic Paining.

Anyway, moving on. We're gonna' check out what I worked hard for and actually got done, the fossil section. All the fossils, right here; all of them! Dug them all up! Though the last one I completed and the last one I picked up was the pterodactyl. All I needed was the right wing and that completed the pterodactyl. As well as the fossil exhibit; and who's my favorite? It's obvious.

Anyway- oh, you can actually see a bug in that amber, y'know? That right there, I wonder what kind of bug that is. I think it was in the, uh, insect thing. Oh well, forget it. Anyway, moving on with the tour, leaving the museum. See you later, sleeping Blathers.

Well, here's another neighbor, Cookie; She just went in. Alright. Well, anyway, uh, since we're, uh, down here, I'm gonna' tell you a couple of things. This is a- here's a- here's the dock, right here, and there's the sea turtle. Of course I usually would check around the, uh, beach lines for old Gulliver, that sailor bird. You should have called him Pelliper like the Pokémon. You notice these two signs here? You need a Game Boy Advance to get started, but when you come back, welcome to the Gamecube.

Anyway, let's go visit the island real quick, 'cuz I'll show you something fun you could do on the island. I use my Game Boy Advance SP but I do have a GBA as well. Well, I use the, uh, SP for, uh, y'know the e-Reader because y'know my Digimon players. It's, uh, easier to hold as swiping as, as compared to the, uh, GBA, the original. Yeah- this sweet young lass, so full of spunk an' sass, over tea, she tells me I gots no class.I ain't no crummy creep who lives in trash heaps! I'm just one old sea-hun who needs some sleep. *unintelligible noises* No, I do not. *rhythmic unintelligible noises* Woooh! I know, the singing annoys me too. I just mock it, and that's- that's why I kinda' have this thing on mute anyway. I listen to my music... every time I play. I actually turn it off right after we- just after we- just as we leave the, uh, bridge there.

So, anyway, this is my island, Cwcville island. Looket all these coconuts here, "In the tropical seas with the coconut trees, we will look and see, coconut." Fine little way to make a profit. Here's Flash. "Troz." I gave him that expression, like . So, let's say hello.

''[Flash asks for Sonichu's rugby shirt]

I'll let you have it, 'cause I don't need it. It doesn't look too bad on you.

Anyway, here's a fun way to make a profit, a'course, you need the Gameboy Advance for this. You shake the trees, you grab the coconuts. I put them all over her- I gathered them all over here, in this area, and then I just drag them over to the bird. And after the first three coconuts, he gives me money. And I just all put 'em back in the proper place around here. And when I come back to the island, Gamecube version, instead of the uh, on the Gamecube instead of in the Gameboy Advance, after uploading I collect the money, go as high as 30,000 bells, which is very nice.

Anyway, I'll show you what you can do on the house in the island.

[Goes inside the house]

I use mine as storage for the, uh, extras items I, uh, don't have room for, at home. Yeah, I got a bunch. 'Course, I got mostly wallpaper and shirts, that's why I got all these dressers.

[Looks inside a dresser]

But I've gotten all the uh, carpets from, uh, Sahara. She was here yesterday. Wel- How do I know? I usually keep track, I made a special sticker with my Gameboy camera and I just uh, whenever there's a holiday or ah, when there's a special event as noted by the Copper, I note it on the calendar with one of those special stickers, or write it down whether it's for Cwcville or Cwc City.

[Exits the house]

Anyway, we're going to leave the island. See you later Flash! Troz! Or Zort!

[Goes to Kapp'n so he can leave]

Hey Kapp'n. Yeah I'm leavin'. No thank you.

[Gets on the boat]

Oh, by the way Sonichu's mug is the flag of the island. Obviously. Don't worry, this time I'm not going to imitate his singin'.

Instead I'll talk about something random. Sonic the Hedgehog.

Oh, by the way, those two characters at the tailor shop, Mabel and Sabel, are they hedgehogs or porcupines, cuz I dunno. They look like hedgehogs, and or porcupines, but ah, I'm not sure which are they. But either way, if they're hedgehogs, you got my vote on Sonic. Speaking of which, you should have make- Sonic Heroes should be Nintendo Gamecube exclusive, because Xbox and PlayStation 2, my opinion is the same as yours, they both stink. Yeah, I do not even own them, I do not even want them, and that goes double for the PS One as well.

But if you want to know my game systems, I've had my Gamecube for about almost a year and a half now, got it on May thirty-first, twenty o'two. I got your SNES, Nintendo 64, NES, I got the Genesis 301, with the uh, original Genesis, 32X and Sega CD, as well as Sega Dreamcast, and a Sega Saturn. So I've got mostly all of them, I've been a Sonic fan forever, and that's why I'm glad that Sonic came to Nintendo.

[Arrives back at Cwcville]

By the way, you all may remember, that I sent you guys a letter, talking about my dream of Sonic on Game Boy, well you go on my website, check the uh, about the author section, you'll see the Nintendo Power magazine cover I made up just for the occasion.

Anyway, welcome back to the Gamecube, let's move on with the tour, shall we? Anyway, we're gonna check the island. Oh, Lighthouse, oh will look at this, there's a weed, I pick weeds, keeps my town clean, as well as uh, Cwc City.

Oh, here's the other billboard I don't kn-know if I've shown you, Magikarp. that's for the fishing tourney, I drew a Magikarp just for it. Yeah, that's a Magikarp, I didn't have room for a Gyarados.

So, way, ah, here's the Tailor Shop. I got a Game Boy Advance right here as well because, you know, I can use my Gameboy Advance here. So let's go in and see what I got on display.

[Enters Able Sisters shop]

Yeah I mean what are they, hedgehogs or porcupines, cuz I can't tell. Anyway, I got Sonichu an Ro-, I got Sonichu right here. Oh, and by the way, this is his girlfriend, you want to know what her name is? Rosechu. See how that's spelled? Yeah, but you'll see- you'll probably see her and her body on the uh, letter that's included with the VHS here. So anyway, that's her favorite flower, called the Zapbud. Oh, and there's my Sonichu site logo, there's you acc- that you featured in Nintendo Power. And a nice (swipe?) for the Poké Ball, as well as Star Fox emblem.

[Opens up his saved patterns]

Here, let me show you the uh, rest of my uh, patterns. Most of them I put together. There's Sonic, right there. And this is Sonichu's evil twin, Black Sonichu. I made the Mario as uh, kinda like, you know, the Nintendo Power. Duh. If you guys had a shirt already, and the uh, game, that's from me and then you'll find out later. Oh, because Spider-Man was in town recently, I was inspired. An here's Old Glory. Let's see. Yeah, these are the uh, older patterns I uh, kinda picked up from the shirts as much. And these are patterns I put together myself, there's the Magikarp, and there are others, like you got from Nintendo Power, like the corn, the Moon, groovy. Groovy! I call it groovy. There's the mushroom and the mug. Oh, I got something ready for Christmas, you know, you may notice the wreath back there. Let's see, yeah, here the uh, swiped images. Ah, by the way, you remember Tim Timetrail, that's his logo right there, I call it Time Travel, it's got his name written on there, Time- Tim Timetrail.

Could you excuse me for a minute, I've got an itch in my eye. [A few seconds pause] Alright. Anyway, that's taken care of. Let's see, I guess.

[Selects Time Travel shirt and moves it around]

What'd I do that for? I'm putting it back. Anyways that's-a, images I got so far.

[Talks to Mabel]

No, no thank you, we got nothing. So I'll see you all later. Or ah, another day, somewhat. Hey, I think that looks uh-familiar, what Mabel's sewing up, or's that Sabel? I think that's the noodle design. [Exits Able Sisters shop]

Anyway, moving on. Another weed, well what do you know about that. I usually like to run, it ke-keeps me going faster. Oh, by the way, Puck lives here.

Oh, what do you know, a hole in the ground. I usuall- also usually uh, during my rounds, ["Digs up fossil"] I check for these holes. ["Raises pitch of voice"] And it's an antique! And of course, if I dig up a fossil I just quickly write a letter to the Museum. And I don't have to write anything, so I just get that out of the way real quick. I only keep my shovel in hand cuz there may be a few more holes around here somewhere. Well look at this, another weed.

Anyway, no bird today. So le- let's go see Copper, see if there's anything new at the police station.

[Talks to Copper]

Any goings-on? Nothing of import, huh.

It's hard to catch that b- bird you know, the uh, postal character Pete. One time I tried, but then he just flew away. Anyway, you got anything in the police station today Copper? That is uh, anything lost? Oh, we got something? Oh good, I'll go take it, I just usually pick it up and sell it later.

[Enters police station]

By the way, as fer the Gulliver, if he has something I have not collected yet, I'll usually keep it. Seeds? Oh well, I'll take it. I could always plant those. Cuz they won't make much of a profit. Anyway, if uh, Gulliver has a gave me something that I already have, I usually just sell it.

[Exits Police Station]

Makes a nice profit. Uh anyway, let's plant these flowers. Uh, here's a good place.

[Plants flowers]

Alright, what do you know, red tulips.

Anyway uh, there's ah, what's her name. Oh yeah, Portia. Anyway, uh, let's see. Oh yeah, there's Leigh right there.

Oh by the way, you know for Mint? I got her card as well, her Animal Crossing card. Oh yeah, Chuckles! He likes to wear belt buckles! Rhyme joke. So anyway, uh, moving a little north. Here's the uh, Nook Shop. I got it the best, obviously. But if it gets any better, I'll be surprised. So anyway, uh, let's go inside.

[Enters Nook's Shop]

See what see what look lik- See what old Nook has today. [Sighs]. Oh, I got to sell these items, I usually do that, I sell him the items. [Starts selling things to Nook]

Items I don't need. Those fossils make a nice little profit, espeg- especially the uh, one that's not within the top five. Whoops. I pressed the B button by mistake.

[Continues to sell, and starts to hum]

Doops, I goofed. Yeah, foreign fruits, 500. Although the peaches only get you 100 here. By the way, same fruit in Cwc City, it's a pear. Oh, and I need a sign anyway, so I'll just go ahead and get one of those.

[Buys sign, clicks through Nook's dialogue about using the sign, and starts humming]

Anyway, we're going upstairs.

[Goes upstairs]

What do ya know, we got the gruesome twosome. They're a comical pair. Ugn, let's see, a blue dresser. Uhh, iris table, refrigerator. Yes, I got this refrigerator already, so I don't need it. I already got the water bird. I've seen those shirts before. Ugn, look at all of these two, they chase me around wherever I go, like I'm some sort kind of nut or something. Watch this.

[''Chris makes odd noises that might be mistaken for humming, as he runs around the store and watches the salesman chase him. Sometimes art does imitate real life'']

Almost caught me there. Okay, I'm leaving.

[Goes downstairs]

Let's see, was there any other business I need? Oh, I guess I need more paper. So I'll get a sheet, get a pack.

[Buys paper]

That's quick, I just pick a random style and just go with that. By the way, in case you're wondering about those button noises, I got the microphone taped to the uh, Gamecube Wavebird here. Anyway, I'll show you something you can do with the raffle tickets you pick up from here.

[Exits Nook's Store]

Instead of making a mess in my house, I bury them right here, next to the Nook Shop. It's a good place to locate them. So when I'm ready at the end of the month, I just pick up as many as I can hold.

[Digs up raffle ticket, then buries it again]

I'm just going to put it back, because it ain't November 30th yet. Oh I guess I don't need this shovel anymore.

[Puts away shovel]

Now I'm going to make use of this uh, sign here, the way I should have long time ago, because I didn't think about it. It's already been done in Cwc City, but... Right here by the Post Office, you can use your GBA, oh, well that's a bad place for it. I'm picking it back up. Oh what do you know, another weed.

[Pulls weed]

Must of missed that earlier. Anyway, you may post a design, Gameboy Advance, whoops.

[Picks up sign accidentally]

What'd I do that for, I'm puttin' it back.

[Puts it back and adds Gameboy design again]

There we go. [Burps] Excuse me. Hm, I've got well over fifty thousand, so I'm going to make a deposit.

[Enters Post Office]

It's ny- It's a good idea to- that you guys did have when you made this thing not only a post office. Oh, I got to mail off that fossil anyway. And I don nee- And it's a good idea to not only you make this into a post office but a bank, saves ya a building. So anyway, see, let's make a deposit. One, two, three, four, five.

[Deposits 50,000 bells]

Seven hundred and fifty thousand. It's good saved. I made most of my money from the e-Reader swipes, which I'll tell you about that in Cwc City.

[Exits Post Office]

Anyway, uh, lets see. I guess that's it for Cwcville. You guys will be back later. And that- And when you come back, I'll tell you about this sign here. [Sign saying "H.F.A"]

Anyway, I'm going home, and I'm gonna save. You may save, Mister Gyroid.

[Goes inside the house to save, hums a bit]

You may save and quit.

[Noise in the background, possibly the radio]

[Chris begins to sing] Do-do-do-do-do-do-do, hey mellow color! Yellow is a mellow color, yes it is. [Chris stops singing]

Okay. see you in Cwcville- I mean Cwc City.

[Title screen]

At this time, I switched the memory cards. Cuz, ah, I got Cwcvville currently in Slot A, and Cwc City in Slot B. I'm switching the two, putting City in Slot A and Ville in Slot B. So now I'm pressin' the start button.

And here's a resident, Iggy. Here you got- get that down. Cwc City, that's the name of the city right there.

[Yellow Is A Mellow Color playing faintly in the background]

And that's her name, Crystal, make sure you get that down. Alright, getting things ready. Have a blast, huh, well that's a fun thing to say.

[Cwc City is loaded, and starts]

Anyway ah, this is Crystal. She's wearing the uh, Rosechu look. There's a Zapbud on the door, I got Sonichu- Rosechu's mug right here. [A sign with Rosechu's face on it] Yeah, an her ensemble, but let's take a tour of her house first.

[Goes inside the house]

It ain't much since, uh, she basically got started, but she's almost done paying off her debt to old Nook. There's your website again. [A Nintendo bench with their website on it] Oh look, there's the R-Wing, launching into the uh, Super Mario Brother's World. [The wallpaper is from Mario]

Which reminds me, I got to get those two boxes to those two passwords later. Anyway, here's her diary. She got started only on November twelfth. Sonichu got started on October twenty-fourth. Anyway let's see, what else have we got here. Yeah, I got the two logos. Well would you look at that, I got them in the wrong place.

[Starts moving around the logos]

Oh well, I'll just move 'em. I didn't notice that before, I got 'em in the wrong place. Well that's no problem. I'll just quickly move them around. Hm, they make it loo- You guys make it look tough to move things around, but actually it's not. Let's see what time it is. Oh, it's one forty-five, huh? Well, it's getting close to being later in the afternoon.

There's her tree, she's getting ready for Christmas too. Let's take a quick trip upstairs.

[Goes upstairs]

She got her NES games she got collected up here. A plain old falsehood right there, Super Tortimer. Why'd you guys make that game up anyway? It's so- It's stupid. Cuz it's fake. Anyway, here's a thing. I got lucky and found this. I think I dug it up. Oh-no, wait a minute, I got it from Redd, long time ago. Oh, here's her harvest bed. I got a couple empty tables for- getting ready for a couple more NES games. [Sighs]

[Goes downstairs]

Anyway uh,

[Continues down to the basement]

Her basement isn't sa- as busy as uh, Cwcville, but she's got a few models down here. A couple of tracks models. Oh, there's the Moon. You guys made that thing really big you know, it's too big for me, if you ask my opinion.

Huh, Katrina's a little off, I'm just gonna move her real quick, there we go. Alright, you know there's the glow clock, you notice I had glow cock- glow clock in the basement in Cwcville as well.

Oh, you know what, ah, ruh- Crystal's worn her Rosechu outfit long enough.

[Tries to change her outfit]

Oops. I guess I can't do that yet. Well, never mind.

[Goes upstairs]

Anyway, moving on.

[Leaves house]

Before we take a tour of the city, I'mma tell you how to make a f- how you make a fun profit with the e-Reader. I'll check the bulletin board.

[Checks the bulletin board]

Ah, that's an oldie.

[Walks to the Train Station]

Anyway, 'course, there's the Train Station, I told you earlier about that in Cwcville. There's Rosey's mug. You see no statue cuz, she hasn't paid her debt off. That's why we're going to do this with Crystal. Oh, give me a second would ja, I got to do something real quick.

[A few seconds pass]

I'm having my Game Boy and my Wavebird at the same time. That's why I put it over there too.

I use my uh, SP as well here. You know, ah, my funds uh, right here, right? Help my funds. I'm gonna- show you guys something real quick- I use my Game Boy Advance SP to help me out here, since you know, the Digimon deal. Not only that, but, the noise it makes, helps me, uh, clarify, whether I uh, got the card read right. I usually do it ten at a time, I'll tell- elaborate about that more later. But I'm gonna do this on purpose, uh, swipe it awkwardly.

Oops, I musta goofed up. Anyway, gonna try that again, see and ah uh, hear the noise that makes.

Oh, that's right, cuz, ya see, I uh, prepared in advance by, uh, [Clears throat] you know, showing you showing my profit.

By goin' on ahead and takin' care of the first set of thirty cards out of 63 that I own so far. Cuz like I said, do it ten at a time. By anyway, ah,

[Exits Post Office]

[Sighs]

Let me just go ahead an uh, show you how you make a nice little profit. Okay, first step you uh, swipe the first ten cards, right? Cuz that's the maximum you can hold in your mailbox. Open your mailbox, get your ten letters into your hold there. And then you just, ah, grab and drop it to the first ten slots. By the way, rule of thumb, elaborate earlier with the five down here. Cuz you know, when you ah, sell your items to Tom, it usually ends up on the first item, and you- that, that way you have these guys on the bottom, they will not get in the way, you won't have to move the uh, hand.

So anyway, uh, we're gonna go to the Nook Shop. There's Iggy again, gonna play with his ball. Like I said, I haven't gotten that far here yet, in Cwc City.

[Enters Nook Shop]

There's old Tom. I've taken care of all my uh, errands, like ah, Chris and the little Sonichu I showed you back there. Anyway, we're going to do some selling.

[Starts selling things to Nook, some other song from Christian and the Hedgehog Boys in the background]

Obviously, I don't have sa- much to say at this point. So I'm just going to let you guys listen to the music while I sell.

[About 30 seconds later, he finishes selling, and leaves the store]

Okay, I got more to say. After I uh, sell the uh, first set ten, I get that out of the way. Like I said before, of course I do this with the R button.

[Starts removing gifts from letters, then deleting the letters]

I just pick up, and put 'em over there. 'Course, I have precise order, I do it from the first letters- first card swiped to the last card swiped. I usually swipe them in the uh, in order of their card numbers. Cuz ah, that's just the way I do it. Also, I use the uh, Animal Crossing card that came with the e-Reader,you notice the musical note in the first set. I just count that as card triple zero. Makes a good idea, by the way, according to- by the way, speaking of the e-Reader cards, you guys should really uh, print out some more uh, of series- more of the early series. like series one. Cuz, you know, since I just just started you sh- I really want to collect those. And uh, I really would like if you uh, publish some more of those uh, series ones. I don't care if do like you know, second edition or whatever. But print out more of those cards, please. Anyway, uh, I just click- just read the letters real quick and then throw them away like junk mail. After I get rid of the presents.

[Finishes throwing letters away]

By the way, I hope you guys took note of the uh, amount in the previous deal in the Post Office. Anyway, after I delete the last letters, I open them up.

[Opening up all his gifts]

One by one, in an orderly flash- orderly fashion. A'most said orderly flashin'! Anyway...

[Finishes opening his gifts]

Let's see, with that done, I head back home.

[Runs to his mailbox]

And get the next set of ten I have ready. And then I head back to the Post Office.

[Runs to Post Office]

And swipe the next set of ten.

[Enters Post Office]

And uh, just to let you know, every fifty- every point over fifty thousand, you should make a deposit. But since I'm a good number at start, I'm not gonna do that. So, uh, after all the uh, e-Reader swipes, you should come up to a very nic-

[Video cuts out for a second, possibly the result of Chris editing the video so we wouldn't have to wait for him to swipe the e-Reader cards]

an profable- profitable proposition there. And after ah, swiping all those cards, then a nice grand total there. We can make a very generous donation. Or should I say deposit? The usual fifty-thou.

[Deposits 50,000 bells]

Here ya go. No thank you. Well, anyway ah, besides ah, selling those things, those uh, profitable items from the e-Reader cards, if there are any I haven't collected yet, I usually just keep 'em.

[Exits Post Office]

(Cuz I like the sound of them?) Like for example, the uh, Pansy models downstairs. And well, since that's over with.

[Changes shirt]

She just changed into her regular- her uh, nice warm clothing for the winter. Her ski sweater. So anyway, uh, let's see uh. Oh yes, I guess I should- she shoul- we should give you a tour of Cwc City.

Well, you have seen the uh, Post Office, and the Nu- Nook Shop. But I'll tell you the dump is in the opposite location compared to CWCville. And there it is, the dump. And uh, let's see. There's Money. She used to live in CWCville but she moved here. And there's Sally. She moved here.

[Checks map]

I have to check the map every now and then because the different location. Let's see, there's Carmen. [Sing-song] Carmen San Diego! Carmen San Diego!... Causing mischief around the world!

Let's see now. Oh yeah, that's Pinky. That's Pinky. There's the Museum. Oh, would you look at this, a hole in the ground. Let's see what's in it.

[Digs up fossil]

And it's an antique!

Must have missed that one previously. Oh well, I'll just simply write the old Museum a letter. Or not write a letter. Like I sent it to them anyway. [Goes to put away shovel, then changes his mind]

Ah, I best to hold on to that just in case. Let's see. Oh, Katrina's tent, she's here today. And there's Rollo. I think a friend sen- I think of Sanford and Son everytime I see Rollo. [Scatman Chris] Doo-doo-doo-doo-a-rawdl-et-do-do-do-do-alot-dude-alot-do-do-dolot-a-dood-alot-dooo. Do-do.

Speakin' of fr- speakin' of Sanford and Sons, my father an I, we have a relationship like Stanford and Son. He starts more arguments than there are flies in a garbage dump. Anyway, let's see, I took every care of business, and I do not need to talk to Copper, but there's the Police Station.

And what's at the shoreline for that stupid bird, and possibly anymore uh, holes in the ground.

[Singing]

There's nothing quite like a hole in the ground, hole in the ground, hole in the ground. There's nothing like a hole in the ground, here is, the lighthouse!

[Stops singing]

We got a stone bridge here in the city.

[Sings again]

There's nothing like a hole in the ground, a hole in the ground

[Stops singing]

Oh, we got two neighbors up here. Let's see. Yeah. There's a, Jeremiah. we got a new neighbor. Yeah, that was Pinky. She moved in today. Anyway, there;s the Tailor Shop. Right here. Already took you there over in Cwc Ci- Cwcville. And well, here's the dock. The island is, uh, we kept it for the ah, kre- for a memorial, we used Tim Timetale's island. As uh, we uh, trans- we exchanges between us- we exchanged it with the original island of Cwc City. Anyway, it's got the Tim Timetale flag on it. So we're not going to bother going there. Anyway, you know the two signs.

[Goes to Wishing Well]

Well. That joke never gets old. Anyway, there are two holiday signs, got 'em down here, here in the city. There's Rosey, and we got the Sonichu site logo here as well. There's a uh, shovel tree. That's Buzz. Buzz Lightyear. To infinity, and on your head! Oh, and there's uh, Cashmire. I got a card for Baah-bra. Huh, too bad she ain't here. And uh, I'm not sure, oh wait, yes I'm sure. Yeah, you have seen him, uh, Iggy. He's around here somewhere. I'm not gonna bother. Anyway, here's the Nook Shop, once again. And well, uh, I guess that's it for uh, Cwc City. oh, I got the fishing tourney sign around here somewhere. You've already seen that, so I'm not gonna bother finding it.

Anyway uh, let's see. Oh, I got to mail this uh, fossil off. After I do that, we're going to go back over to Cwcville for uh, closing ceremonies of this great documentary I've put together. you'll find out what that "H.F.A" stands for.

[Goes inside post office]

So, stay tuned! And relax.

[Starts mailing letter]

In the meantime, here's some music.

[Plays Yellow is a Mellow Color]

[Exits Post office]

[Goes and saves his game]

[Start screen]

[Loads Cwcville]

[Finally turns off Yellow is a Mellow Color]

Welcome back to Cwcville! And we're here for the closing ceremonies, so the uh, documentary of the city of Cwcville and Cwc City in Animal Crossing, [Raises pitch of voice] for Nintendo Gamecube! But first, I'm gonna tell you a couple of things. Sonichu and Rosechu. [Burps] [Faintly] Excuse me. I'm just going to let you know who they are, they're Pokémon. I made them up. They're both Electric-types, alright. Obviously. Sonichu and Rosechu are Pokémon I made up. They're Electric-types. They've got evolution, Metonic and Vamprosa. You want pictures, you gotta ask me for them. Also they got baby forms, Sonee and Rosey, they're cuties. So anyway, if you've missed it the first couple of times. [Shows bulletin saying "CWC's Sonichu Site! http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm"]

Here is one last time. Okay, and uh, to answer the all important question; What is the meaning of "H.F.A"? With the two red eyes. I will tell you. Got that? it means "High Functionally Autism" because that's what I am, I'm High Functionally Autistic. I may have autism, but since I'm high functional, I do all- I can do alot of things. I mean otherwise I wouldn't even do this documentary I'm doing right now.

So let's see, is there anything else I need to cover? Well, I guess not. But anyway, uh, this is the city of Cwcville and there's a- don't forget Sonichu website if you want to go see it. I've been playing video games for as long as I can remember. And listening to music as long as I can remember. So, we're going to end this documentary by obviously leaving. If you want credits, ya have to look at the uh, enclosed letter.

[Starts saving game]

But anyway, uh, pu- for in the submission of Nintendo Power. This has been a, documentary narrated by Christian Weston Chandler. Thank you very much, and I hope that you will consider this for publication. Bye now.

[''Nintendo logo and title screen. There is a voice in the background, possibly Snorlax, saying "Stop!"'']

[The video normally ends here, but on other versions of it, this is followed by 5 commercials for the game, and then...]

[''Shows bulletin reading "For Nintendo Power...A Bonus Feature! Later on...". The character moves towards a golden statue reading "This statue was erected in honor of Crystal's loan repayment!". The character moves around some trees, bushes and the sign board, before moving to the bulletin board, flipping to a new page. Chris types in "Bye-Bye!" and then a happy face. He then throws out the letter, and then moves back to the bonus feature one for a few seconds before the video finally ends.'']

Nintendo Power article
Nintendo Power’s May 2004 article on Chris’s documentary covers only Sonichu’s life in Cwcville. The way that the article speaks of Sonichu’s actions, most casual readers would be led to believe that “Sonichu” is the real name of the person who submitted the documentary.



PVCC's news report
The 26 April 2004 issue of PVCC's school newspaper, The Forum, included a news report on the "accomplishments" of then-student Christian Chandler. The first half of the article discusses Chris's OFFICIAL and ORIGINIAL creation, Sonichu, while the second half covers Chris's Animal Crossing Documentary, going so far as to quote Nintendo Power's own coverage. Everyone can draw their conclusions of how slow news day it was at the PVCC by comparing how big the Nintendo Power article was, and how big this article was.