Kacey Call 1

Kacey Call 1 is the first call that Solid Chris had with Kacey, which took place on 3 August 2009.

On that very day, Solid Chris called Kacey while attempting to impersonate Liquid Chris, and described how he would pleasure her. Hilarity and fail ensues. Most of the call, Chris forgets he's pretending to be Liquid, but Kacey, quickly knowing that this isn't the TRUE and HONEST CWC, manages to play along.

Summary
• Throughout the entire call, Solid Chris (badly) impersonates Liquid Chris. • Most of the conversation is Chris trying to guess answers to Kacey's questions. • Kacey says Chris's singing makes her horny, so Chris keeps trying to sing every few minutes. • Chris really wants Kacey to come to 14BC. • Kacey asks Chris about their first time having sex; Chris, being Chris, tries to bullshit his way through. • BDSM phone sex ensues. Also, Chris wants to cum on Kacey's tits and then lick the cum off her. • Solid Chris keeps complimenting himself to look better in the eyes of Kacey. • It is revealed Chris was born in Washington Jefferson hospital. • Solid gives Kim Wilson's information to Kacey so she can find out more about him.

Video
"Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!... And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!"

- Chris, not being creepy or fucked-up whatsoever

Transcript
Chris: Hello?

Kacey: Hey honey! Oh my god, it's so good to hear your voice again; it's me, Kacey! How are you?

Chris: Hey Kayce! I'm good. You sound like it's goin' good. [Kacey: overlaps: "Ah, I love when you call me that!"]

Kacey: Yeah, I'm so happy cuz I got to talk to you! I missed you all day today. It sucked being in school. I can't believe it's almost finals.

Chris: Aww, yeah, I know, summer finals, right?

Kacey: I know, I don't know why I did summer session, it's just... I don't know. You know that I'm really, really into intelligent guys; which is why I love you. And I've, you know, gotta do the same. So how's school for you? [Chris: overlaps: "Aaahhh..."]

Chris: Oh, things have been great for me, you know, I just finished the dating episode; it is fantastic.

Kacey: Oh, well that's cool, but what does that have to do with school?

Chris: ...Uh, you know, the comics, so I just... I felt like finishing it up, so I finished it...

Kacey: [overlapping] Oh, I get what you're saying! Oh, that is so cool!

Chris: The dating education episode. It's on the CWCipedia.

Kacey: Oh, that's awesome. I'm gonna have to check it out, because, you know, that is of course what led me to you in the first place. [Chris: overlaps: "Oh, yeah."] But, um, what about actual school? 'Cuz I know you had classes today too!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ohhh, yeah... Oh, yeah, they were very tough on me, but, I felt like I take a break, finish up my comic work, and get that outta the way, y'know?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, I get what you're saying; you're gonna do everything tomorrow, well, that... that's so cool of you, I mean, at least you're being serious about it, but you're not being too serious. So, um, when are your finals? Are they next week, too?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm, yeah, only got... I only got one to go, y'know? One more test to go, and then I'm done.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh god, you're so lucky, cuz my finals, like, they don't even start 'til next week, so... Which one's your last one again? I can't remember, I'm [laughs] sorry.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: ...I'm sorry, what was that question? I didn't quite understand it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Sorry. [laughs] You know I talk fast 'cuz I'm so excited to be talking to you. Um, so-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It's all right.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles] So which one's your last final? I totally forgot.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Which one's my last, uh, fina- my last final?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, is it the same one, you know, that same class we have together?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Aaahhh... No, it's not, no, it's not that one... Uuhhh... I'm trying to think of the name. I'm trying to think of it... Um... Oh, yeah, it's the one where I'm doing, uh... It's the one where, uh... working with, uh, I think it's... I think I'm working in Photoshop, something like that, with the... ahh, so much going on in my head right now...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, oh, it's your...databasing and, uh, computer graphics class! Oh, that's right!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yes! My computer graphics class. Yes, that's it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, okay. God, and, I've seen some of your work since you sent it to me, and lemme just tell you, you are so frickin' amazing, like, I cannot wait to see you this weekend.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh my God, I've got a GPS system, you know that, sweetie!

[Chris and Kacey both stammer a bit]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [high-pitched] Oh, that's right, you told me about the GPS! I totally forgot!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I got it for my birthday this year, remember? So, um... yeah, I've already got it plugged in, and... it's gonna be so much fun, so... do you remember our last time together, you know, our, uh, our third date? [giggles]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ah, date number three... mmm... oh, I've been so busy with, uh, with studying for the finals. It's just that so much of the details are plaguing my mind at the moment!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, I know. But it was so magical. I have never, ever been with someone so sensual, and just so in tune to me. I can NOT wait to see you again. So maybe you can give me a sneak preview of what you're going to do the next time I see you?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm gonna rock your world, baby.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [laughing] Oh, Chris, you are so hot. God, I don't know how you do it. So stop teasing me, you've gotta give me more.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It- It just comes natural to me, I guess. I got a deep sensual voice, you know. I definitely got the tune, baby, you know I been raised on music! My dad was a technical engineer! Got all them patents and everything!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh my God, Chris! I love it when you talk like that! God, so, you know when you sang Fresh Prince today, you know I looove that. Oh my God, like you know that white boy rap? Oh my God. You were amazing, almost as amazing as last time I saw you.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Aw yeah, before that, yeah. Y'know I'm into hippin'- I'm hippin' to soo many hippin' tunes right now. But you know, I like to just... uh, sometimes I like to look back, at my favorite hits and just uh, listen to them you know? Ah, you know I definitely did like Sonic Boom and Don't Say You Love Me, too bad- ah, too bad I got beaten to the punch on those. Uh yeah...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: God, I know, I was so hoping you would do something like that. I mean, maybe you could do next? I love "Tearin' Up My Heart". Could you do that one for me?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I got bears- you know what? - I got bears- I got a better song I'm planning on next one. Uh, here's a little preview. Hang on.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Awesome. AWESOME. Thank you! [giggles]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hang on. Hang on. Hush-hush-hush!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Aww.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [shouts] YOU GOT THE TOUCH. YOU GOT THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER, YEAH!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh Chris. Your voice... well, you know what it does to me. It gets me so hot.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ohhhh yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So tell me how much you like when I get hot.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oohhhh, I'm lovin' it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: What are you gonna do to me Chris? I mean, love songs are wonderful, I know you've got lots of ideas in your head.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It'll be like the first time all over again, girl. You know I enjoyed the first time.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I know, just the way you looked at me-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [interrupting] I'd like ta, I'd like ta, I'm definitely gonna try to repeat the encore, repeat as best as I can, you know. You know, to the best of my memory, even though I been messin' up stuff for the finals and whatevurrr, so...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So did you remember what I wanted you to do next time?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Aww... shoot.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Chris, how could you forget!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh, you know... lemme take a guess, lemme take a guess! Uh, you want me to caress your breasts?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, that's one of them, but I wanted to do something a little more adventurous! I can't believe you forgot, you seemed so excited!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [in a high-pitched whine] OH YEAH I'M SO EXCITED! I just can't hide it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I guess I'll forgive you this time, but I totally, absolutely wanted you to tie me up and let me be at your mercy. I mean doesn't that sound awesome?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: AWW YEAH THAT DOES SOUND FUCKIN' AWESOME.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Ok well since I told you that you have to tell me what you're gonna do to me because come on, you know I love it when you talk dirty to me.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Aww, talk dirty to me! Duh-duh.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, god. Please do.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmmmmmm... oh yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Do it for me, your sweet little Kacey-kase.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah. I gonna... you just gonna love this. You uh, I'll be showin', I'll be presentin' myself to you, you'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and all that you know, and you just, I'll be puttin' it, between your tits while you're all TIED UUUP!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh my God that sounds so good! Like, I'm like crying because it sounds so wonderful! Keep telling me more!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I'm just going to get that girl...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I'm actually starting to touch my tits right now, so keep telling me more. Keep telling me more.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh my God, I can't wait to lick it off. I'm gonna be so, so hot. This is the Chris I know and love. Thank you!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue-sharing MOMENT!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh my God, you know I love shotgunning like that. God Chris, you're even a little spicier than last time. What's gotten into you?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [sings] VANILLA HOT HOT SPICY BABY.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So Chris... um, so what are you doing right now, y'know, are you uh, doing the same thing?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [overlapping] Oh, you know... yeah, I'm just I'm... yeah, I'm getting turned on. I'm just rubbing myself thinking about it!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh my God, Chris! It's gonna be so much better when I'm really there, though. I can't wait to see you, I can't believe I'm actually going to go to your house, and be with you and it's gonna be awesome.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah. You know it, girl. You know it so well.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: And I mean, I just can't help getting hot thinking again about all your music videos, just... oh my gosh, I remember so much better than I poss-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [interrupting to mangle REO Speedwagon while Kacey giggles] You can't fight that feeling anymore... I've forgotten what I started fighting for... it's just so much listen to the shore... and I can't fight this feeling anymore.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Okay, well, you know I hate to spoil the mood, but I mean you're just so much better than that brown-shirted... or that shirted impostor. I mean, I love your brown shirts way more.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Sorry, I'm getting so confused right now, because I'm just so hot right now. I'm so glad you-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [interrupting] Yeah, but you know I actually do have a red, white and blue-striped shirt in my closet.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You do? Why don't you wear it then? I mean, I guess that would make you too much like the impostor.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I don't know, because you know... just been trying to separate myself from the impostor I guess, I mean red, white and blue, you know, was my original roots, I mean look at back in the early pages of my books! Red, white and blue all the way, girl!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [sighs] Well...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [plows on] I just had to separate myself from the impostor somehow. And you know how I rapped the PaRappa contest? I wore an orange shirt then, girl.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, I guess... okay, well I mean, just that impostor, I know he's really, really, really getting to you.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah, he's been getting to me. Giving me... wracking at my NERVES! [tard rage] Just really turning me... urgh! Making me so angry!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: God I know, he pisses me off too. I can't believe he's trying to be you when you're just so much sexier, hotter... [Chris overlapping: Yeah, yeah] I mean, his voice doesn't even sound like yours!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah... I mean, can you believe him? I mean he just looks so... aw shoot, what's the word I'm trying think of... oh yeah, he looks so soph-moric!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, he does, I, I guess, I mean...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I mean the impostor looks like he's got to be about 13 or 15, does not have the diploma or the degrees, OR the certificate I had from the waterboy on the varsity basketball team during my freshman year!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Right, um... what are you talking about?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Aw, I'm just on a roll here, you know. I'm just trying- I'm just trying to- I've been-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [overlapping] I mean, 'cause-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: One five minute note or you know... ah, he's telling me history or like um... I got my truths, you know. He's just bringing me all the counter-evidence and I've got to fight back with the real deal.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh oh, you mean when he was trying to duel you in Spanish and he showed that fake certificate with a fake Sonichu picture. Oh oh, okay, I get it, 'cause you were confusing me for a minute there, at first I thought that you were suggesting that you were the fat impostor, and you know, I was getting worried for a minute there.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm. Well, you... well, I don't know about this and that but I tell you what... you are definitely talking to the real deal, baby. You know I'm going to ROCK YOUR WORLD.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [sighs] Yeah, you totally, totally are. I mean, like you said, next time we're going to try the strap-ons, and I can't wait for that!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm. Let's do it after this, after this, after this one time, the first time this weekend, y'know... yeah, tie me down...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupting] Oh right, like start out slow like that and... oh yeah, I get it, y'know... do you dominant first, then me dominant... I gotcha! [giggles]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean, I know you said you couldn't wait... but I could do it for you Chris, definitely for you.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah. [voice gets high pitched] OH YEAH!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You know baby, I might skip school tomorrow and head down tomorrow, how does that sound?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm. Tomorrow... hmm.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean, finals are until next week, I can skip this week if you want me to spend the whole week with you, get a little good-luck lovin', you know?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm. Oh yeah, that sounds good, that sounds... yeah, that sounds very good. Mmm. So what time do you think you could be at my place?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, let's see, you're only an hour and a half away, so six p.m. maybe?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm. six p.m... mmm. Yeah, that sounds do-able. Six p.m.!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles] Do-able, just like me, right?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [sings] DO-ABLE BABY!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Can you cook me something for dinner, something delicious?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uuurgh.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: And maybe afterwards a guitar serenade? You know, cause your songs put me in the mood. That's all I want, I want a delicious dinner and a guitar serenade where you sing, you know that last song you sung me just like last time, can you please repeat it for me? Can you at least sing a little bit right now?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [sighs] Hmmm, hang on a minute let me a minute, let me reflect in my memory here. My well audiograped memory my father entrusted me with well by teaching me so much music.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Of course! [giggles]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah. [sings] YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! IT'S TRUE!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles]No, no, not the one you sang for the impostor, the one you sang for me on our last date.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh, I'm sorry...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I know, it's easy to get confused.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [overlapping]Yeah, I'm kind of a little bit confused myself, it's been a long day.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Aw, I know, I know. I mean, you're doing so well since, you know, considering what you're majoring in and everything.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: ...Yeah! Computer Aided Drafting and Design!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Did you change your major? What?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No, that's BEEN my major.

[long pause]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: ...Okay.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [overlapping] That's my major, Computer Aided Drafting and Design.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh... that's, uh, weird. But anyway, what are you gonna cook for me? You know, for the date?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah. Hm, I could definitely whip up a, uh, pretty good stew for you.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oooh, a stew, what type of stew?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh you know, with the tomatoes and the vegetables and the whatnot.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You know, I thought you were a little more ambitious than that. I mean, stew sounds good still, but isn't that better maybe for a winter getaway?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hm.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: How about you make my favorite? I told you about my favorite the other day, can you make it?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [mumbling] Umm...your favorite..uhh...your favorite, your favorite. Uhh. Boy I wore myself out getting excited and I can't even remember too clearly.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles] That was my fault, I'm so sorry! But you know, talking to you, just makes me want to, you know. [giggles]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: YEAH.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But it's just chicken risotto, so will you be able to do that for me?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Risotto's...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, maybe make a little video of you making it for me so that, uh, I can see how much love and awesomeness you're putting into it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uhh...I don't know if, I don't know if I mean, to make it, to have a video up in the amount of time before you get here, but I would definitely cook you a risotto.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, awesome. So anyway, I like what you said to that impostor about him not having a sweetheart, because I mean, if he had a sweetheart he really would, you know, make her a judge, don't you think? Because if you didn't make me a judge I would have been so pissed off. So I mean, what do you think about that?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uhh... I'm sorry, you got me confused there, could you start from the beginning and go slow please?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah! Oh, sorry, sorry, I just got so excited talking to you. [giggles]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It's okay.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So, um, you know how you told the impostor? The impostor doesn't have a heartsweet on his judge's panel. Do you think that's because he doesn't have one?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmm... oh yeah, that's, that's very likely but you know, I did realize that I apparently did take observation and notice, that actually one of them is a uh, is a real-life close gal-pal by the name of, uh, I think Kim Wilson?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, he's-you think he has a girlfriend named Kim Wilson? How do you know that? You are so awesome!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh, yeah, I know I'm awesome. [laughs] Yeah but yeah no, I've just been hearing news talk between, you know, here and there and the fanbase, yadda yadda yadda. No, but they're just basically, they're just friends. Besides, I heard that Kim has been together with this tough dude named, uh, Logan, and they have two German shepherds.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, I love German shepherds, but, um-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [interrupts] ARF!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles] But, um, would that mean that you still like her, though? I mean-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [overlapping] Oh no no no no...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [overlapping] Er, HE likes her?

[Pause]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh, uh no no no. No, they've always been friends. I mean, you know, he had to know why though because she was already taken, in order to establish like guys do, to actually be with her or not, you know.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, you know, the impostor's never gonna get anyone anyway, he's not as awesome as you. You know, I just fell for you right off the bat. I mean, he's just such a fatty and you're thin and you're hot, and your medallion is so much better.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: ...Oh yes. Nothing like the real deal.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: And your flowing locks, I mean, come on. What's with that haircut?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his mom probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles] You're gonna get your mom to cut your hair? Oh Chris, oh you, I get it, you're joking. You're so funny.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh...I might be, but then again I might be serious, you never know.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well you are full of surprises.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [shouting] I AM FULL OF SURPRISES! [pause] I am full of surprises, woman, you know me. I am full of surprises.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I know you, I definitely, definitely know you. So tell me about some of these surprises. Spoil me, please.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [laughs] Ahh, okay. Hmm, surprises surprises..yes...well, you'll have to see my house, it'll definitely look so much familiar to you...if you look anywhere on the internet you'll recognize my house.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh my god, it's just gonna say you. It's just gonna say "Christian Weston Chandler", right?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh, I'm sorry...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You know, figuratively?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, the house pretty much screams Christian Weston Chandler. You know my car has a license plate that says "SONICHU" on it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Does it? Wow, that's so funny because the impostor has one just like that! You would think they wouldn't let two tags be the same.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [high-pitched] Yeah, I know!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh my god, that has got to be, like, the worst coincidence ever. I can't believe he did that to you.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I know! Yeah, you know, one thing I'm definitely going to share with you after you get here? My original hand-drawn pages. You're just gonna enjoy seeing them, the original hand-drawn, unaltered, from the computer, you will definitely see the hand-drawn resemblance.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well yeah I've seen them before. But I can't wait to see...I guess you know, new ones and stuff? So um, really quick, did you get my picture that I sent you?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah, I saw it. NICE.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Nice? Okay. What did you think about the color shirt I was wearing?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah... RED. The only thing that's missing is white and blue! Other than that, our shirts are patriotic. WE LOVE AMERICA! Proud to be an American. And I was born in Washington Jefferson Hospital, which is in Charlottesville...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So, does that picture make you horny? How horny does it make you?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah. Turns me on.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: How bad?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Real bad.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Real bad? Like last time?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ohhh yes.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Like so many times in my past before, even before I met you, but there was nothing, you know, I watched my own share of pornography in my lifetime, but that's just me growing up, you know?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I was curious, I had to know!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles] That's so cute! So what are you doing now?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm talking to you, and enjoying this nice conversation.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh Chris, you're so awesome! So um, you remember the last time we were talking and we were talking about, you know, socialism and health care? You know, you never finished your opinion on that. Could you go ahead and expand?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Um, socialism and health care. Umm...yeah, I definitely feel that, uh, health care would be good for, you know, the elderly and the disabled people and, uh, socialism, uh...I don't have all the details on socialism really. I might be leaving a few out in my head to make a final opinion.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, socialism just means, you know... Obama's plan on healthcare. We were talking about this for hours!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I'm just spacing out right now, haha. Ahh... but yeah, Obama's plan on health care. Well you know, I mean, he's, uh yeah, he's trying but yeah he's just not trying hard enough. Hang on, I gotta switch my arm, my right arm's getting tired out on me. You know how it is...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [overlapping] Oh, is it because you're uhh, you're uhh, you know...touching yourself?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh, no, my right arm was holding the phone and I used my left hand to touch myself-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [overlapping] [giggles] Ooh, that's a little spicy!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It's like, you know, you're holding the phone over to your ear and your arm just hurts after a while you've held it there.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles] ...Right...So, um...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh actually you know, I just remembered, I wanted to recommend to you some more viewing notes from YouTube, I want you to look at the videos on the account CCHAN6789.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: What was that? CCHAN6789?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, they were all from me. That's an old account, I pretty much just ended the deal with it, past time.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: W-what's it again?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh...It's C-C-H-A-N-6-7-8-9. Yeah, all me there. The real me.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh. What? Oh, I'll have to check it later when I'm near a computer. That's cool, that's cool.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. So you know uh, Kim, you know uh, how she, uh, yeah you know, uh, Kim, I actually heard that Kim and her friend Logan actually live in the Charlton area close to the downtown mall, you know? So if you ever wanted to look her up and, you know, just talk to her, you know, find about more about the impostor for me, or you know, see what her opinion of me is on the Internet from her point of view...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, you want me to do some undercover stuff? Chris, that is so sweet of you! You know how much I wanted to get involved.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah, sure. You know that ScarletSanctum account? That's hers.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Okay, no, I will totally, totally message her. It's Kim Woods, you said?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No, Kim Wilson. Totally. Message her, talk to her all about me.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I totally will. That is-yeah. I gotcha.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh actually, yeah. I'm looking through my uh, e-mails...oof. My arm's cracking up on me again, you know from holding the phone-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [overlapping] You know, that's so weird, because you know, you work out all the time, Chris, so you would think a phone wouldn't be, you know, so heavy for you-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [overlapping] Yeah, uh yeah, it's like light, but it's like, holding my arm in the same position for an extended period of time, it just bothers me.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, okay. So, um, you told me that you had some new Sonichu merchandise coming out, so can you tell me about those? [giggles]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [sighs] Uhh...oh yeah. I definitely got Poké Balls-I definitely got a Sonichu Ball replica in the works.

[long pause]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, that's awesome. How much are you gonna sell them for? Cause I know you made so much money...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Eh, they'll probably go for like five, ten bucks. You know, I wanna get it out there.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, oh okay. You want it to start out like that. Okay, got it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Actually you know, I think I am, oh yeah. As I was trying to say earlier but then my arm cramped up on me, I was checking my e-mail and uh, actually I have Kim Wilson's e-mail address, I could share that to you, okay?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh please do, that would be awesome! I will put it in my address book right away.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: All right, I'll spell it out for you. It's S-C-A-R-L-E-T-M-A-R-I-E-S-A-N-C-T-U-A-R-Y at gmail dot com.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So it's scarletmariesanctuary@gmail.com?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, yeah, but yeah. Okay but anyway listen, don't uh, let her, don't uh spread this around to anybody, I'm trusting you. Keep it just between you and me. Just between you and me.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: No, no, definitely, I won't tell anyone. Just between you and me, Chris, just like, you know, our sexy secrets.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yes. Anyway, I gotta go, you know, I'm just tired out right now...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Aww, I don't want you to go, though.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh I know, I wanna talk to you some more too, but, like, [high-pitched] you know, I need my rest girl, I gotta see you tomorrow at six and make your, uh, your, uh... your... rigatoni?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles] Risotto, risotto, sweetie, risotto.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: RISOTTO![super high-pitched] RISOTTO, RISOTTO!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But still, can you make me a special video, please please? I'm not gonna be there till six so please make me a video!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [sigh]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: It doesn't have to be cooking, just make me a video about how much you love me, please. You know, I'm feeling so lonely because this impostor, he's taking up a lot of your time, so please?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: All right, sweetheart, I'll make you a video saying how much I love you...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [overlapping] Oh my god, thank you!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: ...but don't be surprised if it ends up on, uh, a different account, you know.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I know. Oh, you're gonna keep it between us! I got it, I got it. That's awesome. Just e-mail it to me and I will look at it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I will e-mail it to you and let you look at it. Yes, I'll e-mail you the link.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Awesome, please, PLEASE e-mail me the link.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: All RIGHT, we've got a game plan!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Awesome.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Singing over her] YEAH, I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Be as sexy and awesome like you always are, okay, please?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yes, sexy and awesome. You got it, girl. You got it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Okay, then I guess I'll let you go to sleep and, umm...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, you have pleasant dreams tonight, sweetheart.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I will as long as you're in them.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Bye. [Kissing noises]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I love you, Chris.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I love you too. Love talking to you.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I love talking to you too...I love doing more with you, but that will have to wait till tomorrow.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [weirdly high-pitched] Yeah, wait till tomorrow when you get here!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So...I'll be in your dreams, right?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, you'll be in my dreams and I'll be in yours, [sings] I'll be in yours...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [Tries to interrupt] All right, th-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I NEVER PROMISED YOU A HAPPY ENDING! I'm just trying to take a crack at his song now. The one that he could have stolen from me because, you know, I love Britney Spears as well.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, I haven't seen that one yet, is it up?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yes, it's up. [sings over her again]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [giggles] Okay, Chris, well...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I'm tired, I'll talk to you later.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I'll call you tomorrow before I come, okay? All right, love you, bye!