Asperchu/Background

For Chris's views and such and all that, see Asperchu.''
 * ''This article is about "Asperchu", a very well-thought-out webcomic.

"I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of rejection, tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love. Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic bizzaro Chris."

- An anon on /cwc/, summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique.

"I detest "Asperchu", because one, it is a Parody of a Sonichu with aspergers, which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like autism, then the creator really knows nothing about Autism."

- Chris



The Amazing Asperchu (also called Asperchu: The Amazing Tales and The Spectacular Asperchu) is a parody of Sonichu detailing the zany misadventures of Asperchu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon with Asperger syndrome. It can be read here.

Asperchu pokes fun at everything that makes Chris's Sonichu comic series what it is. Unlike Sonichu, where everyone praises Chris for what he's done, the same cannot be said for Asperchu, whose descent into the same giant prick that Chris has become has the entire supporting cast detest him. Another thing that has earned the ire of Chris is its tablet-drawn style - this is, more or less, a delusional thing for Chris, who believes that it doesn't have the same "character" as his paper-and-pencil-drawn pages.

Asperchu


Asperchu is a high-functioning Electric/Asperger's Hedgehog Pokémon. He has no Electric-type attacks; however, his Asperger's-type attacks do double damage against Autistic-type Pokémon. His strongest attack is the Asperhameha, which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.

Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late 2003 and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on YouTube videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his Xbox 360 or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends Normandale Community College with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin. However, Asperchu's adventures and his recent state of mind has made him forget this detail and he has missed 195 days of school.

He is currently on a Love Quest to obtain a gal-pal whom he can build into a sweetheart from the ground up. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart. Having been rejected, though, Asperchu has been spending most of his time absorbed in video games and won't go anywhere without his Xbox Portable. As well, Asperchu has an incredible dislike for slow-in-the-minds.

For a long time, Asperchu's hope for his Love Quest was to be able to finally have his dream-daughter Asperia, which later became unnecessary when he traveled back in time and met the Ian Brandon Anderson of the past. Both of them drank the Special Fanta Brew that created Sonichu in the past; when Asperchu returned to the present, he found that he too was pregnant and defecated out a deformed monster, naming it "Asperia". While at first ecstatic to have her, he later grew bored of taking care of her and tried leaving her in the care of his grandma while he continued playing video games. Asperia was killed by Bionic the Hedgehog.

Currently, Asperchu is being manipulated by a squirrel-creature calling itself "Rocky", telling Asperchu that he need never take responsibility for his actions. Unbeknownst to Asperchu, "Rocky" is one of the mysterious MIPS.

It has been revealed that the source of Asperchu's powers is the Chaos Pickle of Diligence, though Asperchu believed that he was GodJesus's next prophet.


 * Asperchu is, of course, based on Christian Weston Chandler; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's Rollin' and Trollin' phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the ego, narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the Love Quest. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent and naïve Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a prick as Chris has become. It even goes as far as to hypothesize what Chris would do with a child if his wish came true: reasonably, he would get tired of said child and neglect to take care of it. Asperchu's hatred of gingers is reminiscent of Chris-chan's dislike of Blacks.

Sonichu


The brother, hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance. Or at least he was...

Sonichu shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the Troll Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a late night snuggling rendezvous. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of Virginia, on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of Asperger's Syndrome as a component of the Autism Spectrum. Or at least he did...

Sonichu was created in 1999 by Ian Brandon Anderson through an unholy mixture of human and Chu semen with Fanta. At first, Ian was overjoyed at having a son of his own, especially one who'd be a loyal and true son, unlike Bionic. However, Ian got bored of trying to raise Sonichu, especially when it got into his video game playing time. Casting him into a raft, Sonichu floated down the river until he was found by the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, who raised Sonichu as his own son. When Ian Brandon Anderson took over CWCVille, Sonichu was forced to be married off to Rosechu, only for him and the rest of the Chaotic Combo to revolt. Arriving in ALBVille, he and the rest of the Chaotic Combo fought to free CWCVille from Ian's grips. However, the release of Metal Asperchu would change all that as he would slaughter most of the Combo. When Sonichu went to confront Ian at last, Metal Asperchu made short work of him, lopping off his right arm. When Asperchu, Max and Jivin returned from the past, Asperchu revealed off-handedly that Ian was his father. Sonichu went on a quest to find the truth, only to end up with Mitch Chu dead. When Christian told Sonichu the truth, it drove Sonichu insane. He hunted down Ian as he was kidnapping Asperia and blew out his kneecaps, accidentally killing Asperia. Being captured by Bionic again, he provoked Sonichu into killing Ian for good. As a gift, he grafted Ian's arm where Sonichu's once was. When Argentum was released, he teleported Asperchu and Sonichu to the time when the 4-Cent_Garbage Center was destroyed, only for the hedgehog to tear apart the place. When Sonichu returns to the present, Sonichu attempts to call Asperchu a monster, but he feels himself unworthy of Chris's love and runs away.

While in self-imposed exile in Molvanîa, he finds himself possessed by the soul of Ian and, in fear, runs to Bionic for help. When Bionic can't help him, the two rescue Sinestro from his prison. However, not even Sinestro understands Sonichu's odd transformation, his fur turning blue, his eyes taking Ian's heterochromia styling, his cholesterol level skyrocketing and wanting to play the PS3 for 5 to 9 hours.

In an alternate universe of sorts, Sonichu is shown as an actual Sonic the Hedgehog-like character fighting an evil madman named CWC-Botnik.

At the end of Issue #F, Sonichu is no more, taken over by Ian's personality, becoming the dreaded ... Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Max


Close friend of Asperchu and Jivin. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. His transformations include Guido, Waffen SS, 2Pac and the Yellow Devil.

At the funeral for the Chaotic Combo, it's revealed that Max is also a Christian minister. (Max is a completely original character and is not derived from any source other than Alec Benson Leary's own imagination.)

Jivin Pickles


The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's black best friend. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his Love Quest, although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward sweethearts, while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of Christmas, Jivin celebrates Kwanzaa. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.

Jivin is a fan-favorite on Asperpedia that has received his own sub-episode.

Groovan
Close friend of Max, Asperchu and Jivin. Asperchu issue Ten claims that they have always been friends, but Asperchu seems to have failed to notice him before then due to him blending in to the background.

Ian Brandon Anderson


Ian believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a fat, insane manchild. Ian rules CWCville through a totalitarian and Nazi-like regime, although the CWCville People's Liberation Front (CPLF) constantly fights against his oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a perverse form of "sexual education".

This recently changed after Ian's lengthy absence, leading to Mayorshack Tito's takeover and the return of justice to CWCville.

If he doesn't get his way, he uses his Transformers gun to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris-chan, and also attempted to murder the "parodic" Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu and losing his Transformers gun, where it passes hands until it is given away by Noir Chu.

In 1999, Ian had created Bionic, but quickly lost interest in him as the hedgehog attempted to win over his love. Fired from his job at Wendy's by Giovanni, Ian discovered Asperchu and quickly became friends with him. He introduced him to his gal-pals Ivy and Megan before encountering his future self. The two fought and the younger Ian proved victorious. He attempted to have sex with the two before Megan tazered him. Trapped by the foppish Principal Blaziken, Bionic came to his aid, but Ian mistook Asperchu for the hero, breaking his creation in the process. He invites Asperchu to his house where he convinces Asperchu to surrender some of his comeuppance to create the Special Fanta Brew. Summoning Satan to his house after drinking the cup with their comeuppance, he has him use his satanic powers to turn them into a Sonichu inside his stomach. The younger Ian would encounter the older Ian, forcing the two to attack with their Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has, leading to Bionic being rendered how he is now. Disgusted by Bionic's perceived failure, Ian abandoned Bionic and, ten weeks later, gave birth to Sonichu. The birth, however, left his duck bent at a horrible angle. He later abandoned Sonichu since taking care of him took away from his time playing video games, so he sent him on a raft hoping that he'd raise himself to become the son he wanted without putting any effort into it.

When the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler disappeared, Ian initiated a coup on CWCville, quickly gaining control. As the Asperchu series shares the same universe as Simonchu and Moon-Pals, it is said that he was able to con the people into thinking he was the true Christian Weston Chandler. In short order, Ian ravaged the city, destroyed it's commerce center and driven or killed 70% of its population, placing the remaining citizens under martial law.

Years later, Ian reappeared, seeking to aid in the rescue of Asperchu, only to encounter the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler and be sat on fire by Metal Asperchu. Through various conversations, we learned that Ian had raped a number of Rosechu as well as Mitch Chu. When Metal Asperchu attacked, Ian took up a Son-Chu and battled it out, nearly winning until the robot took advantage of damage Simonchu inflicted. When the robot activated a time warp, he was tossed into the past and beaten by his past self. He attempted to fight again, only to encounter Max. He completely ignores Max's impassioned plea to stop fighting and races back to his house, encountering his younger self and set off the chain of events that would shunt him back into the present, where Metal Asperchu awaited. For a time, Ian was Bionic's prisoner, utterly unable to remember who he was. When Sonichu broke into his cell in an attempt to learn the truth of his past, Ian told him a fake story, only to be rejected by Sonichu. He attempted to escape with Sonichu, only to be captured in the process, passing out until the real Chris rescued everyone. Upon learning of Asperia, Ian sought to take her away because he feels that she is actually his daughter Crystal. Upon attempting to spirit away Asperia, Sonichu blows out his kneecaps (accidentally killing Asperia) and is captured by Bionic. Bionic then uses the mentally unstable Sonichu to butcher his father. Ian finally meets his end with Sonichu's axe and Bionic's gun. As a reward, Bionic grafts Ian's right arm onto Sonichu's stump in place of the one he lost in Issue 3.

However, the soul of Ian lives on within Sonichu and whenever he takes over, he causes Sonichu's eyes to take its heterochromic styling.


 * Ian Brandon Anderson is a version of Chris based on the Liquid Chris saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris. Ian's death mirrors that of the deaths of Evan, Sean, and Mao in Sonichu 10.

Bionic the Hedgehog
Ian Brandon Anderson's hedgehog creation. In 1999, Bionic was a jovial and gay creature who encountered Jivin, Asperchu and Max after their time slip. They learned that he had sought to win Ian's love as the manchild slowly lost interest in stuff other than himself and women. When Bionic rescued Ian from Principal Blaziken, Ian mistook Asperchu as his savior and scolded Bionic, which broke him. Rescued by Jivin, but apparently lost his ability to speak (most likely swallowed his tongue), Bionic attempted to return to Ian, only to watch as his older self and younger self prepared to fire a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha on each other. Bionic saved an unwitting Asperchu from getting struck, only to be hit by the blasts. Losing an arm and being badly burned and scarred, Ian abandons him for his Sonichu. He attempts to get a job at McDonald's, but he is rejected by Robotnik. Rejected by his father and other lower forms, Bionic plots burning revenge against Ian.

Years later, Metal Asperchu would find him wheelchair-bound in a Dr. Wily-esque fortress. Bionic gave Metal Asperchu a Chaos Pickle as a sign of goodwill, then had him go after certain targets and kill them. Robotnik was first, killed for rejecting Bionic from McDonald's. Ian was the second target. When Metal Asperchu used the Chaos Pickles to create the time warp, he watched with joy as another robotic figure emerged. He finally managed to capture his father Ian Brandon Anderson (who forgot that Bionic was his first son and mistook him for another Sonichu parody), as well as his brother Sonichu. When the real Chris arrives to rescue Sonichu, he kills Mitch in cold blood before escaping.

Bionic returns and seemingly reveals his true master plan: by driving Sonichu insane through the revelation of his true parentage, he uses the broken Electric Hedgehog Pokémon to murder Ian Brandon Anderson; in essence, turning his favorite son against him. His plans for the body of the dead Asperia is currently unknown.

He attempted to help Sonichu with his strange transformation, but Sonichu stopped him and Sinestro, feeling this new form is much better. He is later called in to be a judge for Asperchu's trial.


 * Bionic's condition is similar to that of Christopher Pike, the first captain of Star Trek's USS Enterprise, with the exception that Bionic could still talk while Pike could only respond with light. His judge outfit resembles that worn by Q in the Star Trek: The Next Generation series premiere, "Encounter at Farpoint" and again in the finale, "All Good Things...".
 * Similarly, Bionic's crippled body, mobile life support system, mechanized speech, distorted eyes, and general air of malevolent mystery could be based on Davros, one of the main villains on Doctor Who.
 * Also, Bionic's base is based off a dream Chris mentioned about people being killed in a "SKULL-SHAPED" factory.

Metal Asperchu
Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo.

From there he goes and forms an alliance with the severely crippled Bionic the Hedgehog, doing random tasks like blowing up fast food restaurants and killing Teddy Roosevelt. Bionic then orders the robot to bring him Christian Weston Chandler as his final task. He confronts Ian and attempts to kill him, only to be damaged in the process. He uses the four Pickles he gathered to take a new form and banish Ian, Asperchu, Max and Jivin to another time. When the four return, Metal Asperchu has taken up a new form and easily captures Ian. After obtaining the fifth Chaos Pickle, he decides to hold off on number six until he can unlock his full database. Confronting Sinestro, he learns the truth of the fourth directive, then releases Yellow Devil, Cthulu Chu and Bubastis Chu before imprisoning Sinestro in one of the tubes. After killing Cthulu Chu, he figures out the secret of the Fourth Directive and forces Sinestro to watch his work finally unfold. However, after the creation of Argentum and his subsequent turning, Metal Asperchu has gone into a massive blue screen of death. Soon after, WesLi Chu gives Metal Asperchu a disk and he begins scanning seven individuals who are part of the Anchuent Prophecy. He scans Asperchu, WesLi Chu, Sonichu, Chris and two others (presumably Alzheichu and Dino Dash) before the heroes attack him in his attempt to get the last one. He attacks Noir Chu and Aspercream and defeats many of the heroes before Alzheichu stabs him with Chris's knife, briefly causing him to go haywire and explode, destroying him and finally releasing the Chaos Pickles.


 * Based on Metal Sonichu who in turn is based on Metal Sonic.

Other villains
As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well. After activating and losing Metal Asperchu, Sinestro has found himself pushed aside as the main villain before being locked up completely by his own creation. He was recently rescued by Sonichu and Bionic in an attempt to cure Sonichu's odd transformation.
 * Sinestro
 * Sinestro's name comes from a comic-book villain, while his appearance is similar to that of Il Palazzo of Excel Saga (whose appearance was also copied by Chris for the character ScotPalazzo), and his hairstyle is similar to that of Xemnas of the Kingdom Hearts series and/or Sephiroth from the Final Fantasy series.

A girl who attends Normandale Community College. Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King and she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion. She has recently returned in an attempt to find and retrieve a disk that had been used by Metal Asperchu
 * Lisa
 * Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart Blanca. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion. Her asking him out on a fake date is based on the acts of proto-troll Hanna.

John (YouTube handle: GJ-Radar, "GJ" presumably standing for GodJesus) is a born-again Baptist from rural Texas; He also represents some of Chris's religious beliefs, such as his fear of darkies and homogays, aside from masturbation. John and his fiancée Kendra traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's YouTube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded that he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a YouTube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.
 * John and Kendra
 * Based off the Singstar Challenge of the Liquid Saga. John and Kendra most likely represent Liquid and Kacey.

Dino Dash is the guido who kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.
 * Dino Dash
 * Dino Dash is based on Clyde Cash.

Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of dei ex machina. According to Alec's comments on Issue 5E, Plot Cohesuon is Count Graduon's cousin and he's also dead, having used his powers on himself in an accident.
 * Count Plot Cohesuon
 * Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of Count Graduon from the original Sonichu comic.

The evil, hermaphroditic Rosechu from the Sonichu series. Even more evil and cunning, she appears to work for Ian Brandon Anderson. She murders Bubbles and Magi-Chan, then lures Asperchu towards Ian, where's she's forced to become Meg Griffin for Ian's pleasure. She also has a noticeable bulge.
 * Silvana Rosechu

A leftover from Dr. Wily's usage, the Yellow Devil now works for Bionic, capturing Sonichu and Ian as they attempt to escape. It crushes Mitch Chu's legs, smacks Jivin around and fights Max before he is defeated by the real Chris.
 * Yellow Devil
 * Based on the Yellow Devil from the Megaman game series.

Asperchu's family
Asperchu's grandfather, an old-fashioned Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do stressful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Grandma Snorlax. Alzheichu sacrifices himself to stop Metal Asperchu's assault.
 * Grandpa Alzheichu
 * Alzheichu is based on Bob Chandler.


 * Grandma Snorlax

Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu. Lost her left foot due to Asperia's hunger.
 * "Snorlax" is the nickname given to Barbara Chandler.


 * Asperia Chu

The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by GodJesus in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger. Asperia finally became a reality as a side effect of Past Chris's plans to become pregnant with Sonichu. When Asperchu craps her out in the present, he fails to realize what a disfigured abomination she really is. Asperchu quickly gets bored of her and, instead of taking care of her, stuffs her in the fridge or leaves her with sleeping Grandma Snorlax.

In one of Asperchu's daydreams of Asperia, she's seen wearing a bikini top and a thong underneath a skirt. This is likely mirroring Chris's pedofork tendencies. He also describes her as "the pinnacle of his existence", attributing to his own narcissism.

Sadly, Asperia is the latest victim of Ian Brandon Anderson's evils. Having been kidnapped by the madmanchild, she is accidentally killed by a vengeful Sonichu in his attempts to get back at him. However, Bionic recovers her body, and it is heavily implied he has plans for her since he sympathizes with having a neglectful father.


 * Asperia Chu is based on Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter). As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her "father's." Also, Asperia's "Alien" appearance may be a jab at the Sonee and Rosey designs which have horrified many.

The Chaotic Combo

 * Wild Sonichu is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.


 * Angelica Rosechu uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.


 * Punchy Sonichu is the master of the "anshuent Chinaman martial arts." He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.


 * Bubbles Rosechu is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group. She is extremely slow-in-the-mind and is prone to injuring herself.


 * Magi-Chan Sonichu uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and Mass debate to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon. He also seems to have a thing for Simonchu as well.

Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu. Bubbles and Magi-Chan are later murdered by Silvana.

Christian Weston Chandler


Sonichu's father and creator, Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. He helped to reform CWCville after the war with Albville under the reign of his father, Robert "The Lumberjack" Chandler and restored peace before Ian's hostile takeover. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.

In Issue 4, it's revealed that he raised Sonichu since as far back as he could remember, and trained him how to fight and WHEN to fight. However, during the time travel episode, Asperchu shed's light on the mayors past that puts Sonichu's biological parentage in doubt. The hedgehog now seeks Chris to try to find out the truth of his parentage. Instead, Chris finds them, rescuing them from Bionic, though not before Bionic kills Mitch. It is revealed in Issue 5 that Chris found Sonichu abandoned in a cardboard box and raised the Hedgehog Pokémon to be the creature who he was now.

It's been revealed that Chris is the avatar of the Chaos Pickle of Patience.


 * Christian Chandler is based on Liquid Chris. The knife he carries is based on Sonichu Special 4.

Argentum
The end result of Metal Asperchu's experiments, it is the Asperchu clone that has its fourth directive unlocked. It has the ability to warp spacetime and seems to be capable of feeding off the pain of others.


 * Argentum's design is a mixture of the Pokémon Mewtwo and Sonic the Hedgehog character Silver the Hedgehog, but may have been inspired by Mewchu. His name is Latin for "silver".

Other characters

 * Heaven Fatterton

Lisa's accomplice and a fat ginger. She pretends to be Lisa during Asperchu's date so that she can steal the Asperchu medallion while Lisa films the date for blackmail. When her wig falls of, Asperchu is to dense to realize she's a phony and instead thinks there's two Lisas when the real Lisa shows up. Heaven has a thinner, bustier sister named Hortense who was killed by Bob Chandler for getting close to Chris-Chan.


 * Mitch Chu

Sonichu's cousin. He's a gay hairstylist, and his catch-phrase is "Razzle-dazzle". When problems arose during Metal Asperchu's attack, Sonichu called in Mitch to watch over Jivin and his dad, who were attacked by the robot. He ended up giving Jivin a new hairdo. Later he helps reform Asperchu clone Noir Chu by having him volunteer at an Albville soup hotel. In issue 3, it is implied that Ian raped Mitch when he was a Sonee. He also has two fathers. In Issue 4, he agrees to join Sonichu on his quest to find his real father. When he attempts to rescue Sonichu from Bionic's clutches, his legs are crushed by the Yellow Devil, pinned to a wall crucifix-style, then shot through the chest before the real Chris can save him.

Mitch also appears as Sonichu's guide through the wonderful world of copyright infringement in Sonichu Revolution.


 * Mitch Chu is based on Mitch Sonichu, Chris's take on Asperchu's "EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER" in Sonichu 10. He was made into a gay stylist as a logical conclusion to said makeover.


 * Simonchu

Although Simonchu stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion. He is rendered grief-stricken when Metal Asperchu killed Wild, allowing him to be taken advantage of by Rosechu. In Issue 4, Simonchu agrees to join Sonichu in trying to find his real father.


 * Dixie Chu

The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie has been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining "Dix" as his sweetheart. She recently returned to testify against Asperchu in his trial


 * Dixie Chu is based off a number of Chris's gal-pals, but is probably more centered on Megan Schroeder and Kacey.


 * Jonas Chu

Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by "cheating" by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.

He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.


 * May have been based off the events from CWC More Than A Feeling of the Liquid Saga. His waistcoast and name derive from the Jonas brothers.


 * Denubius King

His only appearance is in the Jivin sub-episode. He is a black kingpin in pimp attire and carries a pimp cane with an afro on it, called the "Staff of Suffrage". He kidnaps Jivin's father and tries to steal the Pickles family farm to get his hands on the Chaos Pickle they're guarding, but is foiled by Jivin.


 * Bullet-Time Montgomery.

First appeared in the Jivin Sub-Episode. He works for Denubius King and is a crack-shot with a revolver. Denubius orders him to kill Jivin, but Jivin knocks him out with "Deus ex BLACKina". He later reappears as a juror at Asperchu's trial.

Sonichu's sweetheart. She is seen comforting Simonchu at the funeral for Wild, Punchy and Angelica. Jivin is shown to have sexual fantasies of her. After the funeral, she tells Simonchu that she can satisfy his needs, which pisses off Magi-Chan. Rosechu later confronts Simonchu and seduces him. It's later revealed that Rosechu cheats on Sonichu all the time; she's also banged Punchy, Naitsirhc, and even Dino Dash. She is later used as a gamble chip to win back Sonichu, but it proves ineffective.
 * Rosechu


 * Rosechu's transgenderism parodies the constant call-out to Chris concerning Rosechu's gender, especially after events in the Mailbag.


 * Whispy Sonichu

Punchy's slow-in-the-mind cousin. Appears at the Chaotic Combo's funeral, barely affected by his cousin's death. Despite being Oriental, Whispy speaks Spanish.


 * Larry D. Waltz

Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with an African-American in exchange for a mysterious disc. When the disk is later stolen by WesLi Chu, he appoints Lisa to get it back. He nearly gets his head taken off by one of Asperchu's Asper-Ha-Me-Has.
 * Larry is based on Mary Lee Walsh, and has a resemblance to Jimmy Hill.


 * Sitting Chu

Sitting Chu is the head of ALBville's only Soup Hotel. He welcomes those who need refuge with open arms, but he isn't beyond kicking people out, as he did with Asperchu.
 * Sitting Chu is based off of the Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan.


 * Jimarcus Chu

A friend of Mitch Chu's. He was a veteran of the Jamaican war, and currently works at the Albville Soup hotel (they only need one) to help CWCville refugees. He's accepting of Noir Chu and helps him adjust, though he, too, is not thrilled by Asperchu's self-centeredness.
 * Jimarcus Chu is loosely based on Inos and his physical appearance is based off of Little Jacob. His name is derived from Jamaica and Marcus Garvey.


 * Doctor Robotnik

It seems that the once-feared nemesis of Sonic the Hedgehog has fallen on hard times, now working as a cashier at a McDonald's. He promptly kicks Asperchu out of the restaurant when he attempts to seriously pay for a $31 meal with food stamps worth $10. He is then killed by Metal Asperchu for his crimes against Bionic.


 * Megan and Ivy

Two of the younger Ian's gal-pals. When the younger Ian defeats his future self in pathetic combat, he attempts to have hanky panky only to be tazed by Megan.


 * Megan and Ivy are based off of Megan Schroeder and Ivy.

The overly homosexual principal of Ian's high school. His actions lead Ian to call for help and is killed by Bionic, only for Ian to mistake Asperchu to be the hero.
 * Principal Blaziken
 * Principal Blaziken is based off Sonichu 10's Marvey Blaziken and is reminiscent of the principal from Chris's elementary school.

A hat-wearing, bespectacled individual resembling Chris. Rambles in odd phrases. Metal Asperchu obliterates him and everything around him after getting the fifth Chaos Pickle. He later returns, alive and well, as a cushion for Asperchu's fall.
 * Sammy
 * While he is obviously modeled after Sammy from Sonichu (who was in turn a ripoff of Peter Griffin), he's also taken on some traits from Homestar Runner character Homsar, who wore a yellow bowler hat and spouted "word salads" and non-sequiturs (which turned out to simply be his native language), such as "All aboard the Gravy Train!"

Asperchu clone number 18. Originally just another extra for Sinestro's Forte Grosse, Bubastis Chu rose in popularity when she featured in Isabel Monday's Capering Berries in a spinoff comic. All of her comics are jokes based on the comic/film Watchmen, and she generally annoys her two fathers Sinestro and Larry. Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu are later released by Metal Asperchu in the Asperchu comics.
 * Bubastis Chu

Has a brief cameo appearance during Ian's daydreams. According to her Asperpedia article, Ian, believing himself to be Chris, thought Crystal Weston Chandler was his sister. And being the massive narcissist that he is, believed that his ideal partner was his closest genetic match. Failing to seduce his faux-sister, he instead named his dream daughter after her. Believing Asperia was really Crystal, Ian became jealous of Asperchu. Like Asperia, she wears a thong.
 * Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)
 * Crystal is obviously based on his imaginary daughter, but in a humorous twist, looks like Chris's comic drawing of his sister. Thus, the circle of incest is complete.

The new democratically-elected mayor of CWCville after the dethronement of Ian Brandon Anderson. Tito has been tremendously successful in restoring the city to its former glory, bringing life back to the desolate wasteland. Asperchu, for some reason, thinks he's black.
 * Mayorshack Tito
 * Mayorshack Tito is based on the troll Surfshack Tito, who gets his name from Tito Makani Jr. of Rocket Power. Mayorshack Tito's appearance is also based on Tito Makani Jr.

Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man named DeShaunn into the mix. However, DeShaunn's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream. Noir Chu would confront Asperchu and, confused by his memories, would be lead to the Albville Soup Hotel, where he would find his calling there. After being banished by Sinestro for losing Noir Chu, Aspercream ran off to Albville where she was reunited with Noir. When Sonichu ran off to find Ian, Noir Chu takes Asperchu to find and stop them, with Aspercream pleading not to get hurt, SOMEHOW knowing that it was Asperchu who got Magi-Chan killed. Both Noir Chu and Aspercream are wounded in Metal Asperchu's rampage, but survive.
 * Noir Chu and Aspercream
 * Noir Chu is based on Blake. Aspercream resembles Cream the Rabbit.


 * Princess Julie

One of the members of the Molvanîan Royal Family. She and the others have strong ties with the Rebels of CWCVille.


 * Princess Julie is based off of the infamous troll of the same name. Her design, however, is based off of Bobby Hill of King of the Hill.


 * Crackder

One of Ian's attempts at making sentient war machines. However, it is slow-in-the-mind, rambles off random-access humor and is against war. Asperchu hates him because he's a slow-in-the-mind.


 * Crackder is based off of the Decepticon Chris created of the same name.


 * Yawning Squirtle

We don't know how the hell he got off the Moon, but he's off of it and still smoking it up. It was revealed that he was Mayorshack Tito's opponent in the CWCville elections, and currently works as an attorney. His hated rival is Lewis Croagunk, who opposed him in Asperchu's trial.


 * Mimms and Lucas

Two patrons of the Brass Dragon. Mimms sports a wicked green 'fro.


 * Both Mimms and Lucas are based off of the CWC informants who frequented the GAMe PLACe. Lucas's design resembles that of the character of the same name from the Mother series.


 * Rocky

A mysterious squirrel with green antenna. He calls Asperchu "dum-dum" and tries to steer him in the opposite direction to make him blameless. In actuality, Rocky is MIPS 09, attempting to steer Asperchu into fulfilling the Anchuent Prophecy.
 * While Rocky's design and speech resembles that of Rocky the Flying Squirrel of the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons and The Great Gazoo of The Flintstones, the creature is also a parody of Rocky Shoemaker, Chris's pastoral counselor (although the real Rocky is not as indulgent as the Asperchu Rocky).


 * Jimmy Hill

Ruler of Molvanîa and Princess Julie's father. Enjoys playing Pokémon trading-card games. When he finds out of Julie's capture, he opts to move out to save her.


 * Jimmy Hill resembles the old man used in the earlier Chris trolling schemes, but his mannerisms match more of Hank Hill of King of the Hill.


 * Lewis Croagunk

The prosecutor for Asperchu's trial. It is revealed that he is old rivals with Yawning Squirtle and he seems to be a very competent lawyer. Oddly, for a Croagunk, he has a human's head.


 * Lewis Croagunk may be a parody of Chris's various court-based characters from Sonichu 10.
 * are a variety of Pokémon.


 * Prison inmates

A gathering of the biggest, baddest villains and other faces from various TV shows, including Skullmaster of Mighty Max, Krang from the 1980s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoons, Tohru, Finn, and Ratso from Jackie Chan Adventures, and an assortment of Pokémon (most notably a rapist Poliwrath).


 * Warden Clawdorf

Warden of the prison Asperchu is locked up in. He's a real black dick.


 * Clawdorf is Darkbind Sonichu's archnemesis in Sonichu who appears only in a silhouette, which inadvertently resembles a penis with arms. Asperchu Clawdorf parodies this.


 * Gumby

One of children's lovable creations was an inmate in the jail after accidentally killing a child inside a book. He had converted to Christianity and attempted to do so with Asperchu, but only got him to create his own Bible with him as the Son of God. He is wiped from existence after Asperchu leaves him inside his book.
 * was a C-L-A-Y character created by Art Clokey.
 * Asperchoso

Asperchu's avatar in his "Second Greatest Story Ever Told". The paragon of manliness and a Son of God, he prevents others from getting girlfriends by blowing their kneecaps out.


 * Asperchoso's name is derived from the Rabbichosos from Vivian Gee's "A Girl Who Brought Down the World" story. His actions are similar to Chris's in Sonichu Special 4, when he blows Liquid Chris's kneecaps off.


 * Poliwrath

A hardened criminal who tried to make Asperchu his bitch upon his arrival. However, after Asperchu and Gumby escaped into Asperchu's book, he quickly became a convert to Asperchu's "religion".
 * are a variety of Pokémon.

4-Cent_Garbage Center residents

 * Naitsirhc

Naitsirhc has a brief cameo in the 4-Cent_Garbage Center that Argentum recreates. He is seen alongside Mary Lee Walsh. He attempts to get Sonichu to calm down, but ends up getting his neck snapped by the hedgehog.


 * Unbelievably, Naitsirhc in Asperchu looks even gayer, as he sports earrings and crotchless chaps.


 * Mary Lee Walsh

Another one of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. When Sonichu tears apart the building, she and Count Graduon go and unleash Joshua Martinez.


 * Mary's design in Asperchu borrows largely from Final Fantasy VIII villain Ultimecia.

Owner of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. His appearance is identical to that in Sonichu. When he confronts Sonichu, he is killed in the same manner Rosechu attacked him.
 * Jason Kendrick Howell

Clyde makes a very brief cameo in Ian's dream in Issue 4, where he's demonstrating his dominance over said troll. It is likely this scene was inspired by this piece of fanart. According to Asperpedia's article on Clyde, he, Brian Bash and Dino Dash were all part of an elite government task force at one point in the past. Clyde Cash makes another appearance, this time in the 4-Cent Garbage tower. When Plautistic captures Sonichu, Clyde and Jack go to finish Sonichu. Clyde is shown wearing Spider-Man's pants and boots and is able to shoot webbing from his hands.
 * Clyde Cash


 * Clyde's design is based off of the picture Chris found of Clyde (actually a photo of Joe Hotti). His having Spider-Man powers is based off of the set of videos trying to troll Clyde.

Seen in the 4-Cent Garbage Tower alongside Clyde Cash. His appearance is similar to that in Sonichu. He uses the Goblin Glider and Pumpkin Bombs of the Green Goblin.
 * Jack Thaddeus

One of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent Garbage Tower. His appearance resembles a penis. When Sonichu tears apart the building, he and Mary Lee Walsh free Joshua Martinez. When the creature is destroyed, Joshua tosses him aside.
 * Count Graduon

One of the heads of the COProtectors. Is brutally murdered by Sonichu.
 * Chief Boyd
 * Based on the Jerkhief from Sonichu; "COProtectors" is an inversion of "jerkop".

Head of security at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. A no-nonsense type of guy, Bagget tries to get Asperchu to reveal where Sonichu is before the hedgehog confronts the two of them. Sadly, Bagget falls to Sonichu.
 * Bagget

A mysterious creature held by those within the 4-Cent Garbage Building bonded with Joshua Martinez When Sonichu goes on a rampage, Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon release it. The creature resembles the mythical creature Hydra. Its leaves can be smoked as a type of drug.
 * Plautistic

A Mexican who was once bonded with Plautistic. In the heat of battle, Sonichu tears him from Plautistic, then tears his head off.
 * Joshua Martinez

A hedgehog working within the 4-Cent Garbage Building. ACTUALLY knows magic, including his own Anchuent power, Wes-Li-Ha-Me-Ha. He's such a manly man, he can even make full-on bull dykes crave his duck. After escaping the destruction of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, the MIPS made him give a data CD to Metal Asperchu. Shortly after, his memory was wiped. It has been revealed that he holds the Chaos Pickle of Chastity.
 * Wesli Chu

The feared leader of Team Rocket and gym leader of Viridian City has another job: manager at Wendy's. He was seen in 1999, firing Ian Brandon Anderson after he fell asleep on the job, then promised that he'd never work in the city again. Years later, he takes up residence at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. When his son is killed by Sonichu's hand, he confronts Sonichu, using a small army of Pokémon to stop him. Sonichu uses said Pokémon to kill Giovanni, mostly by impaling him with them.
 * Giovanni


 * CADD Chef

Killed in the destruction of 4-cent.

A Jewish magician working for the MIPS. He also runs The Brass Dragon and is frustrated by Sonichu's attempts to trade a rare Black Lotus card with a Pokémon Ruby cartridge. He was responsible for helping Jack and Clyde escape.
 * Michael Snyder


 * MIPS

Self-aware supercomputers that help run 4-Cent. Michael Snyder reports directly to them and contacts them by pickle-phone. He asks them to help evacuate the building, but they claim they're using up all their resources to control the realtors. They are capable of meeting anywhere, including in space. They are keenly interested in fulfilling the Anchuent Prophecy.
 * MIPS are a personification of Chris's paranoid belief in a conspiracy by the Greene County school board to keep his family in Ruckersville so he can stay in his "autistic shell". MIPS is speculated to stand for "Men In Pickle Suits".


 * ScotPalazzo

Killed in the destruction of 4cent.

A purple lesbian skunk who broke Sonichu's heart in the past and has orgies with Saramah Chu, Jiggliami and even Wes-Li. Is killed with Saramah Chu's torn off arms, taunting him to then end.
 * Megagi Chu

A yellow Rosechu who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. Her arms are ripped off, the trauma killing her. However, after the destruction of Metal Asperchu, her Chaos Pickle, Temperance, returned to her and revived and restored her.
 * Saramah Chu

A pink Jigglypuff humanoid who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. She is killed when Sonichu punches through her head.
 * Jiggliami

Chaos Pickles
The Chaos Pickles are seven magical items of great power. According to Chris, the pickles are within seven special people and, should they be removed, they enable its user to be revived and restored once they are freed again.


 * The Chaos Pickles parody the Sonichu Balls. They are each named for one of the seven heavenly virtues.

Alzheichu's Home
This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, back-breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an XBox 360, which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu. The house's frame is under constant stress, since Grandma Snorlax is always up against it.
 * A parody of Chris's house.

The Brass Dragon
A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart. Michael Snyder runs the shop. Asperchu is now officially banned from the store for trying to steal a rare card.
 * This is a parody of The GAMe PLACe.

Pickles Ranch
Home of Jivin and Dick Pickles, who owned a Chaos Pickle before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.
 * Resembles the Skywalker farm from Star Wars.

CWCville
Before and after Ian Brandon Anderson's reign as mayor, CWCville was a peaceful, beautiful city with flowering fields and a happy populace. Under Ian, however, it turned into a dictatorship that wiped out 70% of the population, all of whom were found distasteful by the mayor. Women are forced into brothels as early as Junior High School, and all remaining occupations are in the mayor's mall. The environment was destroyed by his dark energy and the pollution of state Orange Soda factories. An army of Sonichu Nazis carry out the mayor's will and are as intolerant and depraved as he is. Fortunately, thanks to the reconstruction effort, most of the damage has been reversed. Democracy has also been returned thanks to Chris's efforts, and Mayorshack Tito won the first CWCville election in years.

Albville
Neighboring town to CWCville and Asperchu's hometown. Unlike CWCville, it is under a democratic system and accepts people of all races, orientations and creeds. In fact, they receive many CWCville refugees, who are well taken care of in the Albville soup hotel (they only need one). It allied with ECGville during a brief war with old RFCville and has since maintained good relations with the town. Founded by Alec Benson Leary, who has since disappeared in mysterious circumstances.

Bionic's fortress
Bionic's base of operations, which was abandoned when Chris came to Sonichu's rescue.
 * Based on Dr. Wily's fortress, as well as Chris's dream of a SKULL-SHAPED factory where smokers were murdered.

4-Cent_Garbage Center
The remnants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, which was destroyed by Ian, are still being cleaned up by CWCville's citizens. Originally the economic center of the city, it also contained many of Ian's "Undesirables" and he flew his mouse-pointer plane into the building to destroy it. Many lives were lost, and to this day is considered "Ian's most terrible legacy". Argentum brings Sonichu and Asperchu to the restored Center, where Sonichu climbs the building to confront his father. It is revealed that Ian's airplane did jack shit and it was Sonichu's Roaring Rampage of Revenge that caused the destruction in the first place. Ian was probably blamed for it because he was the only one still alive to take the blame. It is also revealed that it was destroyed during the Chaotic Funeral.
 * The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is a combination of Sonichu_10#Rage_Against_the_Garbage_2:_Electric_Boogaloo|Rage Against the Garbage 2 and an infamous Chris video mocking Clyde by comparing him to the destruction of the World Trade Center.

Molvanîa
An oddball East European country. Home of the MIPS and the survivors of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center survivors.
 * Molvanîa was the home of Julie and Max, named after a fictional East European country created by Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch.

Issues
Thus far, sixteen issues (and one Sub-Episode) of Asperchu have been released. The confusing issue numbering (0–0A–0B–C–1–2–3–3D–4–5–5E–6–7–8–F–Ten) is a parody of Sonichu, which began its issue numbering with Sonichu #0 and then complicated the matter with numbered "Episodes" and "Sub-Episodes" (so Sonichu #3 is the fourth issue, and contains Episodes 10 and 11 and Sub-Episode 4).