Template:ListOfVideos/Jan-Jun2009

January 2009

 * CWC AC: City Folk Update (5:47)   Chris announces that a deal has been made with Nintendo of America to introduce Sonichu and Rosechu as characters in the newest Animal Crossing game, although he seems to believe that early versions of these characters have somehow escaped into the internet.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009 (1:43)    Chris issues a statement announcing the hacking of sonichu.net by Gregg Mays, demanding that the site be restored.


 * I am STRAIGHT Part 1 12 January 2009 (:08)   Chris holds up a picture of Britney Spears to prove he is not a homo.


 * I am STRAIGHT Part 2 12 January 2009 (9:51)   A longer follow-up on how he loves and respects women.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009 (4:19)   Possibly under pressure from Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé, Chris uploads this video to deny officially as possible and forbid everyone from looking at his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009 (:50)   Chris warns his fans that Jason Kendrick Howell has hacked his Tripod account again, so he informs them of his new Tripod account and website.


 * CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san 17 January 2009 (2:20)    Chris attempts to appeal to Shigeru Miyamoto's cultural background after he hit a snag when Miyamoto jumped to the conclusion that he is talking to a troll and not the real Chris.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009 (1:37)   Chris issues a scathing statement concerning hackers who used his email account to send messages to dozens of people saying he came out of the closet, and stomps on the vibrator he has owned for years.


 * Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash 19 January 2009 (3:23)   Chris begs Clyde Cash to stop torturing him for revenge over his brother's suicide, suggests Clyde just get over it, and compares the death of Ryan Cash to the death of his dog.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009 (1:35)  Chris announces that sonichu.info, the site he created just days ago following the hacking of sonichu.net, has also been hacked, and promises his fans (especially the female ones) that he will restore his true website soon.


 * CWC Update 26 January 2009 (1:43)  After weeks of talking about collaborating with Shigeru Miyamoto and disappearing from the internet for several days around the time that he was scheduled to meet with Miyamoto in Redmond, Washington, speculation grew that Chris was actually attempting to make this cross-country journey, until he finally posted this video, claiming to have just returned, but somehow you can just tell he hasn't even left his house since his last video.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009 (3:24)    Chris retracts his January 26 statement and angrily responds to Reggie Fils-Aimé and his complaint about a panty shot in Chris's PowerPoint presentation, a complaint Chris distorts into false allegations of nudity and characterizes as a general opposition to heterosexuality.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009 (5:56)  Chris retracts his 30 January retraction of his 26 January retraction, and apologizes for his unprofessional behavior toward Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé, pleading them to merely postpone the Sonichu video game project indefinitely rather than cancel it outright.

February 2009

 * Chris Comes Out of the Closet 5 February 2009 (6:09)    Chris comes out of the closet and finally declares himself to be a "gaybian", in the result of Clyde threatening Julie with harm and demanding that Chris became gay on YouTube in exchange for her safety.


 * Chris Destroys His Vibrator 6 February 2009 (2:58)    Chris explains why he had to make the two videos suggesting that he was gay, in order to satisfy an agreement with Clyde Cash, before flashing back to him pulling apart breaking his vibrator.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009 (2:52)     Chris briefly recaps his previous videos, announces a new website, speculates that PandaHalo may have been killed in the Australian bushfires, and farts.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009 (3:20)     Chris shows off his bedroom floor, in a bid to demonstrate to Clyde Cash that he has fulfilled his end of their agreement, and reads a letter from Nintendo of America, responding to his private query about his negotiations with Shigeru Miyamoto.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009 (2:30)  Chris apologizes for his homophobia, and announces that he is finished filming a dedication for one of his sweetest Sonichu Girls--the name of which he never announces, but it's nevertheless clear that he's referring to Sarah May.


 * For Julie's Eyes Only 20 February 2009 (7:40)    Chris has hanky-panky with Kimmi and yells "JULAYYYY!"

March 2009

 * Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009 (2:26)   Chris, visibly distraught after the outing of Julie, explains that he has been under a lot of stress lately, and tells his fans to not believe the trolls, even though he's not wearing his medallion.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009 (4:45)  Chris states his viewing of the Family Guy episode "Family Gay", is hard at work on a new Sonichu medallion, and publicly announces that he is withdrawing from the internet as a front in his Love Quest.


 * Apology to Game & Hobby Place 16 March 2009 (:47)    Chris apologizes to Michael Snyder of The GAMe PLACe so that he can buy Eye of Judgement cards.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009 (2:03)   Chris explains a few recent happenings, or lack thereof, and makes a brief shout-out to Ivy.


 * CWC's Message for Ivy 20 March 2009 (:59)  Chris sends a disturbing message to Ivy.


 * CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero 26 March 2009 (5:52)    Chris makes an entire "music video" for Ivy, set to "Holding Out for a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler, and shows off new comic pictures.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009 (2:50)  Chris threatens to withhold comics from his fans if trolls refuse to leave Megan alone.


 * Tour of Chris's House 27 March 2009 (8:59)  Chris gives a video tour of the landfill that is his house.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009 (2:48)    Outraged over the leaking of secret information that he undoubtedly freely distributed to some stranger on the internet, Chris blows his stack and threatens to STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!


 * Chris Sings Lovin' You 29 March 2009 (1:45)    In what is perhaps Chris's creepiest video to date, Chris delivers a short speech to Ivy and shows a few pictures, while his crappy cover of "Lovin' You" plays.


 * Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora 30 March 2009 (5:33)    Chris gives a prepared speech about the importance of flatulence, and then sings about farting.


 * Take that Page DOWN NOW! 30 March 2009 (5:23)    Chris rages against his ED page, and then abuses a doll with a picture of Clyde Cash attached to its face.


 * Secret Weapon 30 March 2009 (:41)   Chris makes fun of Clyde Cash based on a picture of Lee Hotti that he calls his "mugshot".


 * YouTube Finale 30 March 2009 (1:08)   Chris calls out to Clyde Cash again, threatening to beat him up. At the same time, he decides to withdraw from the YouTube scene...for now.

April 2009

 * Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009 (1:16)  Chris makes an announcement about a new website he made, only 10 days after leaving the internet forever.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate Easter Sunday, 2009 (1:24)  Chris announces the recent changes to cwcville.com, and lets his sweetheart Ivy know that he loves her.


 * More for the crabs 12 April 2009 (:28)  Chris gives a shoutout to Ivy's hermit crabs, Crass and Champ.


 * The Return of Kimmi 12 April 2009 (:50)   Chris gives a shoutout to Ivy by kissing his blow-up doll taped with Ivy's face for a good 20 seconds.


 * Bunny Hop 12 April 2009 (1:01)    Chris dances like a child to entertain hermit crabs.


 * A CWC Audition 16 April 2009 (7:46)    Chris videotapes himself in an audition with "Vanessa Hudgens".


 * April 16 Fetish Vids 16 April 2009 (2:25)     In three leaked videos, Chris drinks his own semen, spanks himself, and dances naked in the shower.


 * I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy 17 April 2009 (1:58)   Chris apologizes to Ivy by talking to his sex doll (with Ivy's face attached) before he makes out with it.


 * Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions 17 April 2009 (4:49)   Chris apologizes to Ivy for cheating on her with Vanessa Hudgens with complete insincerity.


 * Chris Calls Clyde Out 23 April 2009 (1:45)      After a nearly week-long silence, Chris finally speaks up again, this time calling out Clyde Cash.


 * CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me" 24 April 2009 (7:14)   Chris does another music video, this time to "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion, for his and Ivy's wedding.


 * I Got A Fish 27 April 2009 (:12)   Chris jogs in place while singing a song about him brandishing fish.


 * Power 27 April 2009 (1:06)   Chris shows how "strong" he is.


 * CWCFlyingElephants 27 April 2009 (6:54)    In what is possibly the most insane video he's ever made, Chris runs around in his room, naked, screaming whatever comes to his mind.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009 (6:04)   In this set of videos, Chris addresses the 16 April release of video and pictures and admits what was already obvious--that the woman for whom he made the sex videos is Ivy.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate April 29th, 2009 (:48)  Chris apologizes for delays in any new comics and then leaves for a haircut.


 * ShutUpBrain and WakeUpBrain 30 April 2009 (1:27)  Chris dramatizes his biological clock, which involves yelling at and repeatedly hitting himself.

May 2009

 * For My Sweetest Ivy 1 May 2009 (5:08)     Chris threatens Ivy with promises of sex and hanging out at the mall and sings a Mary Poppins song.


 * Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up 3 May 2009 (3:03)   Chris urges the Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase to keep up his Wikipedia page after it was deleted by Wikipedia Admins so that no more vicious lies and slander will spread about him on the internet.


 * CWC Address to Unilever About AXE 4 May 2009 (6:36)   Chris tells Unilever to stop selling their products to homos.


 * CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters 20 May 2009 (1:33)    A little bit of everything, Chris swears off falling for trolls, sings a silly song about being lonely, and tells the trolls to die.


 * Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009 (2:50)  Chris explains that he has closed the cwcville.com domain and has no plans to reopen it in the near future. He also notes he won't be making as many videos in the future. He seems surprisingly cognizant of the fact that if he stops producing content on the internet then the trolls will have no new material to use against him.

June 2009

 * Chris's Big Night Out 12 June 2009 (4:33) Chris visits a local bar/restaurant, where he encounters a pair of fans who record him.


 * Don't Trust Any Homos Over There 15 June 2009 (2:02)    Chris sings his own version of the song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There", replacing "Niggas" with "Homos."


 * I'm Sorry, Dude 15 June 2009 (3:02)    Chris apologizes to his gal-pal Kim for offending her gay brother.