Jackie E-mails 25

These e-mails cover correspondence between Chris and Jackie from 25 April 2011 to 5 May 2011. Chris provides details about his new tomgirl identity, including experiences with waxing, grief from his parents, and fantasies about sex with lesbians. Chris discovers the Tomgirl Pictures on the CWCki and accuses Jackie of being a troll, but she is able to persuade him otherwise. Chris is still obsessively angry at the trolls, and shares a "press release" discussing his experiences with these evil beings.

April 25, 2011 5:40pm

Yes, I know that you're straight, you really don't need to convince me. Although I'm still not sure why you have these visceral vomiting reactions to seeing another penis, normal straight people don't have that, but whatever.

I thought you were over the Game Place? I mean, we talked for months about you getting over it because it is long in the past It really seems like a serious issue that you retain these violent, hateful thoughts for years and years like that. And considering that we talked for hours and hours about the incidents at the Game Place but you were unwilling to accept that your behavior was in any way wrong, I'm willing to bet that Michael Snyder didn't think your apology was sincere (How can you apologize properly for something when you believe you haven't done anything wrong?) Have you ever considered pursuing some sort of psychotherapy/counseling? You know to be honest, that's one of the reasons I didn't really want to start calling you yet, because I wanted to see if you had become willing to pursue self-improvement in the months since we last talked. I mean, you still have all your video games that you play all day, but that's not good enough, you also need to be able to go play Pokemon cards with children at the Game Place? In my humble opinion, you need therapeutic help with your anger problems much more than you need to play Pokemon cards or video games, and just like you said I would consider which is more of a "want" or a "need". (Besides, didn't you tell me that the reason you screamed out loud and got yourself banned was because all the children making noise and ruckus stressed you into screaming in the first place? Why do you want to go back to a situation that caused you so much stress?) And as an aside, I think it's pretty selfish that you would want the Game Place to burn down and for no one else to enjoy it just because you can't.

But here's an idea for you: You know how they say that when you are really angry at a person, you should write a letter to that person telling them how you feel but not send it? Well, I would suggest this: How about you draw a picture of you burning the Game Place down? Put all your hatred and rage into that picture, make it really visceral and detailed. And don't send it to Mike Snyder or anyone else, just send it to me. Or Dana too. I think it would be very therapeutic for you to do, and also a lot more productive than just thinking about it. Tell you what, get that drawing to me by Wednesday night. I can't wait to see it!

Well anyway, it's your choice if you want to get over your problems and impress me or not, I won't force you. But I'm glad that we're opening a dialogue again. Hey, try not to feel too bad about what your mother is saying. It sucks that she's not being very supportive of your changes, but you know that you have people like me and Dana who recognize that you're doing what you need to be happy. And yes I did get the photos! They look so amazing!! I love the confidence and poise that you display in those photos, that tells me you're doing the right thing. Do you have a date for when you're getting the tattoo yet? I really look forward to seeing the pictures of that! Also, have you considered maybe getting some heels to wear? They make you taller... and you know how us girls like tall men ;)

XOXO

Jackie@undefined April 26, 2011 10:47pm

Hey Chris!

Well, maybe you should ask Rocky to actually help you get over those unchristian thoughts of revenge, but I am very happy that you're already one step ahead of me about getting it out of your system. Who exactly did you send that altered photo to? And I don't think I understand, why did you want it on the cwcki? Kind of too bad, if you wanted it to find its way there you could have asked me for help getting the trolls to bite it up. Well, tell you what: Do the picture again for me. Make it even better this time! I can't wait to see it. Draw the Game Place burning to the ground with you dancing on its rubble, happy to have justice done. Or photoshop it like you did the first time, either one works. Do you think tomorrow is soon enough to get it completed? Probably won't take you more than an hour or two. Get it to me tomorrow! :D

That's an odd fantasy that you bring up about the lesbian thing. Actually, it's really funny that you mention it: The other night I had a dream that was basically the exact same thing! Well, actually it was that you picked me up in a bar (We didn't previously know each other in the dream), and then you took me home and we started to make out and we were going to have sex. But then in the dream, I was secretly a man! And when I told you so, at first you were shocked, but open-minded, and we had hot passionate mansex. We did lots of erotic frottage in that dream. Isn't that funny that we had the exact same dream? I guess erotic minds think alike ;)

And hey, that's really great about your old classmate! Why don't you call her and try to set up lunch or something? It would really be great for you to catch up with her and maybe find some other of your old friends through her. Let me know what she says!

Jackie@undefined

April 28, 2011 7:25pm

Well, you're still fantasizing about the Game Place being burned down, and it's extremely apparent that you still hate Michael Snyder, so obviously it's not behind you. Besides, it's not only about you, it's about me too. If you did it for some random guy on your friends list, you can do it for your girl, right? I asked you to do it for me. So do it for me! Have the Game Place on fire, and Michael Snyder on his knees crying over losing his life's worth, and then you and Sonichu dancing around the wreckage laughing and pouring gasoline on the building (to show Sonichu helped you). And also, you should show yourself lecturing Mike Snyder, explaining exactly what he did wrong and why he deserved what happened to him. And put your full effort into it - color it this time, don't be lazy and skimp like you did on those issue 10 trial redux pages I asked for. I was hoping to see it by today. Get it to me by Saturday.

Anyway, I still don't understand exactly why you wanted the drawing to go on the cwcki. I thought you didn't want new details and stuff to go on there? So why would you want this picture there? And how do you know this tricomri guy is even a troll? I've never heard his name before.

Well, gtg; I look forward to the picture. Saturday!

Jackie@undefined April 30, 2011 1:34pm

Chris, is everything okay? I haven't heard from you in a couple days. Is your dad doing okay?

Jackie@undefined

May 1, 2011 12:38am

What??? How did they get out???

I'm really sorry that happened Chris. Was it because the PSN got hacked? I heard that the hackers made away with a whole bunch of peoples' personal data, like credit card information, login info, and such. They say this is one of the biggest ever leaks of personal information. I've been reading about it here:

I understand you're feeling down from that, so don't worry if you don't feel like talking much right now. But I'm here to listen if you want to talk.

Jackie@undefined May 2, 2011 5:30pm

Hey, Chris? What's going on? I know you're sad about the PSN being down but really, I don't get why you're just ignoring me. I guess if you aren't interested in reconnecting, that's your prerogative. Hope some other girl is actually able to capture your interest.

Jackie@undefined

May 3, 2011 2:10pm

Oh boy, Chris...

First of all, I have NO idea how your pictures got out. My friend that I told you about swears up and down that she kept it secret, and she doesn't even know who you are on the internet or about your past so she would have no reason to care about releasing them. She doesn't even HAVE copies of them. And so what if you deleted your pictures and messages after sending them? For all you know, Sony keeps archives of every message sent by its users without telling them. They already were proven to have lied once, they claimed that their credit card information storage was encrypted but it wasn't, which resulted in a whole lot of peoples' credit cards getting available to the hackers. Maybe when you "delete" something on the PSN it doesn't actually STAY deleted on Sony's servers. Have you thought about the fact that Sony might be screwing you over this time?

Secondly, you act like I have nothing better to care about than your troll activities and as if my entire existence revolves around you and your antics. I have a lot of things going on Chris, and among them I don't have time to give a shit about releasing your photos to trolls, or joining trolls, or BECOMING ONE OF THE TROLLS, as you suggest. Lars did release shit on you in the past but he isn't involved in this anymore, I haven't even told him you and I started talking again. And what do you mean, Lars and my friend will ""not fly" with you?? Are you accusing me of being a liar? How many times have you lied to me??? Only one person out of the two of us has a history of being caught repeatedly lying and warping the truth, and it's not me. Everything I have said to you has been true.

Thirdly, why is it such a big damn deal that those pictures are out? You go out dressed like that in public anyway. Given how obsessive some of those trolls are, I'm surprised none of them have captured photos of you outdoors already anyway. So what if they're laughing at you on their website? What exactly has changed by this?

Fourthly, how arrogant of you to say I have to earn your trust "WITH INTEREST". I spent countless hours talking with you and trying to forge a connection, and how did you respond? You acted like I owed you sex. You whined and complained whenever I asked you to do even the tiniest thing, and even when you did give way and do what I asked, you did it in the laziest, most slapdash method possible, all so you could get back to spending time playing more video games. Rather than you come see me, you wanted ME to come see YOU. You wanted ME to give up what I was doing to entertain YOU. What about just recently, when you got upset that I wanted to buy my new chopsticks? You said I should know the difference between a "want" and a "need", even though you yourself dropped everything so you could go buy a damn PS3 (that you claim your life does not revolve around). Funny how your "needs" apparently encompass toys while everyone else is only allowed to "need" what you think they should need.

But fair enough, I admit that you have reason to be a bit nervous because of the PAST information releases (even though I apologized for doing the email releases A YEAR AGO because I was mad, and I wasn't responsible for anything else after that). What exactly would you have me do to earn your trust? Tell me what you want, and I'll see what I can work with and what's feasible.

Jackie@undefined

May 5, 2011 8:54pm

Hey Chris!

Thank you for your apology. It was very sweet of you to be so forthcoming, and it takes a big man to admit his mistakes. I forgive you ;)

Anyway, I don't have a lot of time to talk at the moment but I just wanted to say that. Also, I'll definitely be getting a new phone as soon as I have some cash available, but in the meantime I'm still saving up for my chopsticks. This is the pair I really want, take a look! :)

I gotta go, but I'll write more later. Night!!

XOXO

Jackie@undefined