CWCFlyingElephants



"CWCFlyingElephants" is a seven-minute video made by Chris, and published by The Miscreants on 27 April 2009. Chris made this "crazy nudie audition," as he dubbed it, for gal-pal Vanessa Hudgens. It shows Chris in his room, (mostly) naked, displaying a show of what he calls random-access humor. Chris runs, twirls, acts crazy and does handstands while completely in the nude. In addition, he imitates lines from Ed, Edd, n Eddy, quotes Monty Python, plays with toys, and throws around Li'l Chris.

Audio-Only Video
"And now for something completely different."

Transcript
[''Chris is standing in front of the camera wearing a bath robe. He briefly raises his eyebrows.'']

And now for something completely different. [removes his robe, revealing he is not wearing a shirt] BUUUUNG! And now, [in a deep voice] it's...[normal voice] Monty Python's Flying Elephants! [poorly imitates the series' theme song, "The Liberty Bell"]

[spoken frequently fast and high-pitched] Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, Greeg, why is people running away? Johan! Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, Johan! Greeg! Johan! Johan! Why is people running away? I don't know, buddy Greeg. Johan! Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, Greeg. Johan, Johan, why is people running away? [slaps himself on the side of the head] SHUT UP! You're driving me crazy!

[''begins to let out muffled screams as he runs towards the door of his room, shaking the door knob as if it were locked. This also reveals the fact he is completely nude. He then pauses as he suddenly looks at something on the shelf.''] Hm! [removes a magazine from the shelf] It's a trap! [''throws the magazine on the table before he starts constipatedly screaming again. He runs towards the door again, but seems to injure himself against something on the wall, crouching down to the floor in pain immediately after.'']

[Jump cut to Chris standing in front of the camera, still nude.] And now for something cuppity different, a man impersonating Towelie the Towel. [begins imitating] Oh my goodness, My pussy is wet! Don't forget to bring a towel! What? When your pussy is wet, and you don't want to lose a bet, you want to dry yourself up right away! [mimics flossing a towel between his legs] That's why Towelie says: [raises a finger in the air] don't forget to bring a towel! Wanna get high? NOOOOO! NOOO!

[In his impersonation of the Gumbys] I would like to meet someone of superior intelligence. I would like to hear the sound of two bricks being smashed together. I would like to see...ten million stupid monkeeeeys. I would like to see John the Baptist impersonation of Graham Hill. Yes, it's historic impersonations!

[Jump cut to Chris, still in the same situation.] Full-frontal nudity? Yes, I'd do it. If it was valid. If the money was valid. I haven't had enough of the permissive society! I've heard of unisex, but I've never had it. [slaps himself on the side of the head] Shut up, you're driving me crazy! AAAAAAAAAGH! [ducks below the camera's view]

[''Jump cut to Chris kneeling on his bed, face against the blanket. He hits his face against it several times.''] I'm a woodpecker! [resumes] 'Cept with dirt! [Resumes hitting his face against the bed several more times before rolling off to the side.]

[''Jump cut to Chris doing a headstand on his sofa, completely nude, giving a full view of his anus and pickle. After he gets back to his feet, the camera jumps to Chris facing the door of his room. He rises up.'']

Get out of my head! [yells while spinning in circles] HLOO! [''falls to the ground. The camera slightly shakes.'']

[Jump cut to Chris holding a Bumblebee toy.] And now for something completely different. Bebelapdapbambalamba. Bebelabadapbambajamba-Bumblebeeee! [holds out the toy] Buzzing around. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Really, Prowl. [holds up a Prowl toy in his other hand] And how necessary is that side-car? Just so you can wear the helmet of your past mastaaaaaar?! [Jump cut to Chris holding two different toys.] Come here, Soundwave. Lend me Laserbeak! [pulls a piece of the toy off that looks like a guitar, and begins strumming it like it were a miniature instrument] DIIII DIIII DIIII DIIII MORE THAN A FEELI-

[jump cut to Chris without the toys]

I like a nice dance, you're forced to! Otherwise...who said that? [Starts twisting his head around.] Who said that? Said that? Anywaaay. Who said that? There will now be a short intermission, during which small ice creams and large boxes will be served in the commissary. Another way to drive people away from the theater is to show a turfs-dispenser. Fzzzs. [drops to the ground.] Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Pearls before swine presents!

[Jump cut to Chris standing with his arms spread.] The like, do you like this model, or how about this model? I'll give you a karate-kick for your money. Hyaah! [kicks at the camera] I'll give you a punch, and a whiz-bang, and a boom! [punches at the air several times] All you got to do is come down here.

[Jump cut to Chris doing his Donald Duck impersonation] Oh my gosh, look at me! I'm naked! I forgot my sailor suit, and my hat, and apparatus. I don't know, but I guess. [reaches off screen and shows his clothing on camera] Here's what I have to do. Here's my clothes. Bwaa. I went out of the cartoon.

[''Jump cut to Chris with a T-shirt wrapped around his face. He imitates Kenny.''] Hmmph, rmmph. Hmmph, rmmph. Hmmph, rmmph. Hmmph, rmmph. Excuse me, what did you say? Hmmph, rmmph.

[Jump cut to Chris no longer wearing it.] Hey Kenny, you get out here, you take off that stupid little orange or blue jacket, or whatever the hell color it is you wear, and talk to people like you every real life, don't just mumble your words.

[Cue another jump cut.] Hey dude, that's not cool.

[holding a can of Pepsi.] Yep. Yep. Yep. Mm-hm. [''Imitating Hank Hill; jump cut to Chris taking a sip of Pepsi, then gasping. Jump cut to Chris without the Pepsi''] Product placement, eh--product placement in this program is hereby endorsed and provided by the studio, which is provided from the companies of which those products became, originated from, thereof. Another way we can drive people away from the studio is to act. Like. A. Loony!

[Cue another jump cut.] I once knew a man from Nantucket, he has on his head, a silly bucket. And now I have on my head, [grabs a teddy bear] a silly little bear, I'm wearing clean underwear. Wearing clean underwear like I just don't care. [squeezes the bear's paw and it starts to speak]

Wow, he just said what I said. I'm undecided! [''throws the bear and begins screaming and running around his room again. He lifts a chair, looks at the camera, then lowers it''] HNNNNG! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG! PFOOP! [''falls to the ground, shaking the camera. Jump cut to Chris' foot in the air, with a sock on.''] Hm, I guess he's done left the studio for now. Well, that's all folks. Du du du du du du du du. Du du du du du du du du. Pedi pedi di di. Plong. [ other foot joins in] LILILILILILILILI! Plonk.

[Jump cut to Chris, standing up.] Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Moola moola moola. He must be asking for a handout. Indeed. And now it's the indeed show, starring Mr. Thurston Howell III. Indeed. Indeed. [The video used in this article ends with a cut to black, then a zoom-in on Chris's face while he makes a noise.]