User:Cogsdev/Fallout 3

Hello and welcome to cogsdev's review of Bethesda Softworks's Fallout 3. I assume that you already know my feelings about this game, however, I intend to play through it(with popcorn) and write this article as I do so highlighting my likes and dislikes about the game as best I can.

= April 5, 2008 =

Setting Up

 * Plugged a lot of stuff in, moved things around, dug through box for hexbox stuff
 * Washed computer dust off hands.
 * Made popcorn in pan, put in large metal bowl, added tons of salt
 * Got cold bottle of generic cola from fridge
 * Turned down lights, settled into chair

Equipment

 * Playing on old CRT Apple Studio Display(looks like an old iMac, the ones that came in flavours, on a stand). Bright and hi-res. Flickers a little in the top-left, but only noticeable if you look for it. Connected to hexbox using VGA cable.
 * Sound plugged in to radio. It says "Grundig" on it. I dunno anything about it, got it from an aunt. Plugged into the radio is my pair of "Behringer" headphones. Nice and big, says "HPM1000" on them.
 * Using a really really old, fairly small and unreliable second monitor plugged into my Mac Pro to type this out. Using MAMP to run MediaWiki on it so i don't need to be connected to the internet to write and save this. Using a nice and somewhat old long Apple keyboard(black keys), and a second-hand Apple Mighty Mouse.
 * Playing on a second-hand hexbox 360 that has "red-ringed" three fucking times while i've had it. Using a second-hand wireless hexbox 360 controller, plugged in using a second-hand charger cable.
 * Vault Boy bobblehead sits atop hexbox, reminding me of my mistakes.

Startup

 * Turned on hexbox. Updates. Hooray.
 * Traversed horribly slow and clunky marketplace to find DLC, so I can review that too, dodging party invitations as I go.
 * Dealt a terrible blow to my inner jew as I purchase more points.
 * Of course, my device is full, so I clear out some space and let it do its business.
 * Much popcorn is lost to veds as I play Geometry Wars 2 to pass the time. One of the few hexbox purchases I don't regret.
 * I dishonour my ancestors by only scoring a measly 8 million points in evolved mode. Download is at 30%.
 * I quit to play something else and am unable to access my games. My own fucking games. Why? Because Hexbox Live is lagging, because I'm downloading stuff. God I hate this service.
 * I think I'll give the Left4Dead demo another shot. It's pretty fun.
 * Okay, DLC downloaded, now to actually fucking play the game.
 * Another update. Great.
 * Content loaded, now I can plug my Mac back in and talk with folks on the internet.
 * Forgot to get Operation Anchorage, but really, who gives a shit?
 * Starting new game. Here we go...

Character Creation

 * Well, this entire vault is character creation, but oh well. Might ask IRC for funny character ideas.
 * A nice but completely pointless cutscene we already saw in the teaser trailer. Hooray.
 * And now for a butchered imitation of Fallout 1 and 2's intro sequences. It's like it was before, but without the message or charm. Shameless overuse of the series' catchphrase. and the first signs of the fucking retarded "plot".
 * I hate baby noises. Even my own.
 * Especially my own.
 * Think I'll just be an azn girl called Bonnie Cash, so I can kick the autistic in post-apocalyptic DC.
 * I mean, that FEV is obviously just canned autism. One dip and it turns people into ugly man-babies. Explains a few things about Chris.
 * Well, not like the name's important, they never say your name anyhow.
 * One good point of the game is that the characters are certainly better than they were in Oblivion.
 * My audio is reversed for no fucking reason. Fixing.
 * The kid's book is a fairly clever touch.
 * Setting up retarded plot points. Hooray!
 * The clapping sounds are kind of dumb. There's the actual people clapping, then there's an obviously pasted-in sound clip of tons of people clapping.
 * The writing at this point is actually quite good.
 * Beat the shit out of Butch.
 * DIdn't know you could skip that exam. Cool.
 * Even after patching, that robot's flamethrower is still buggy.
 * Didn't know that framed quote could be lockpicked, either...
 * He's telling me to turn myself in after I shot the head clean off the guy standing next to him. :|
 * Amusingly, Officer Mack's head is rolling around in a circle, and shows no sign of ever stopping.
 * Time for a dramatic escape.

Going Outside

 * I imagine going outside IRL would be similar to this. Stepping out into the blinding light of a miserable wasteland.
 * Totally not like Oblivion. Totally not.
 * Two new radio signals. Two? Maybe veds got Operation Anchorage or something.
 * Christ, navigating Megaton is a pain.
 * Out of popcorn. Sad face,
 * On a lighter note, got the Strength bobblehead. Never noticed this hatch before.
 * Alright, I'm getting the fuck out of this town. The layout is getting too god damn annoying.
 * I saw an explosion in the sky, found a bunch of alien power cells, but no gun to fire them. It's probably on the roof. Oh well.
 * I sneak around, ready my pistol, and enter VATS. I target their head.
 * I shoot and hit them. Their head flies off. Pretty cool. Nobody notices, despite the fact that they were in plain sight. They don't even investigate the corpse.
 * I spot another raider and shoot him. This time he doesn't die in one, and I hit him in the head. Aside from the blood spurting out of his head, he doesn't seem to mind being shot in the head. He runs towards me with his pool cue.
 * I'm out of AP so I just shoot him and he falls down with all the realism of CWC's Adult Chronicles
 * I continue to shoot raiders. I loot their corpses, they never hurt me at all, they move just like they did in Oblivion. Mega :|.
 * Empty cans and body parts lie a few centimetres above the ground. Ultra Mega :|.
 * I sneak into the pharmacy, hack terminal, get stuff, wait for robot to shoot raiders then pop out and join in.
 * Cleared out the Super Duper Mart. Bo-ring. Nice gore, though it gets old fairly fast.
 * When I go outside, I am greeted by the sight of a brain, half a jaw and two eyeballs floating above the corpses of the raiders I killed there earlier. Nice glitch.
 * A raider just runs past me, straight to the Super Duper Mart. I pursue and kill him. What was that about?
 * Okay, I think I'll call it a night and finish this some other time, although I have no motivation to do so... Current expression: :|