The Chris Chan Conspiracy



The Chris Chan Conspiracy is a documentary film series created by TheGamerFromMars, a channel dedicated to covering strange individuals and odd phenomena. Chris, having gained his own cult following on the internet, was one of the most requested topics for TheGamerFromMars to cover, so he pulled out all the stops to make a four episode series with an approximate runtime of five hours. Despite the suggestion of the title, no conspiracy concerning Chris Chan is actually chattered about, and that choice of word is only there for alliterative purposes.

This documentary is more detailed than Sachumo's and covers a much greater period of time than that documentary, but it is less in‑depth than Geno Samuel's documentary. The documentary makes use of several previously unseen interactions between TheGamerFromMars and Copitz with Chris at 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, and Charlottesville, which were filmed in December 2019, showcasing Chris's daily life and providing additional insight into his hobbies and public behavior, along with his descent into his delusions. Sections of Chris's life are depicted in the form of artwork resembling Chris's own.

A trailer for The Chris Chan Conspiracy was uploaded onto YouTube on 18 March 2022, and the series proper ran from 19 March 2022 to 9 April 2022, covering everything from how Chris's parents met to Chris being sent to a mental hospital.

Analysis
TheGamerFromMars is introduced to Chris. The crew first visit Chris's room, where he films an "intro". At Copitz's wish, they make their way to the gazebo, where they sit in the dark for a little while. They call it a day and awkwardly leave.

Transcription
[Narrative intro]

1:27 – [Title card fade in: "The Chris Chan Conspiracy"]

[TheGamerFromMars walks to his car, then is shown driving]

TheGamerFromMars: So for years now people have been asking me to do a video talking about Chris Chan, and the problem is, I just never knew where to begin on the subject. So for the past month now, I've been trying to get in touch with Chris Chan in any way I could, uh, but after all that failed, I messaged Copitz, he responded right away and asked me if I wanted to do an interview with Chris Chan, and the answer to that was "absolutely yes", so within a few days I get a camera­man and I am heading down&mdash;couple hours&mdash;making a roadtrip out of it&mdash;to meet the notorious Chris Chan in person.

And this is the street. Is that it?

Cameraman: I… mean, that looks&mdash;

TheGamerFromMars: Sonichu! Look!

Cameraman: Sonichu…

TheGamerFromMars: Zoom in on the license plate.

Cameraman: Hold on&mldr; huh&hyphen;huh&mldr; see if I can get that.

[They exit the car.]

Chris: Hello!

Cameraman: Hello ! Hi!

[''Hellish, still distant wailing from Snoopy and Clover. Worse is to come.'']

Copitz: Hey guys! How's it going?

Cameraman: Hey! How are you?

Copitz: Art? Is that right?

TheGamerFromMars: How's it going?

Copitz: Nice to meet you.

Cameraman: I'm Jesse.

Copitz: Jesse, nice to meet you.

TheGamerFromMars: It's an honor to meet you!

Chris: Nice to meet you too.

Cameraman: Christine, hello. I'm Jesse, nice to meet you.

Chris: Yeah, Jesse.

Copitz: Alright, suppose we can go inside.

Cameraman: [mumbles] Okay.

Chris: [stutters] We're gonna do the interview downstairs.

Copitz: Yeah&mdash;

Cameraman: Okay. Ha-ha-ha.

[''The dogs begin barking torturedly and torturously. Camera­man zooms in on license plate.'']

[Everybody enters.]

Cameraman: Oh.

Chris: Go [?] down­stairs. [Goes upstairs]

Cameraman: Okay.

Chris: Snoopy, no! Quiet down, quiet down! Quiet! quiet! Alright, everybody's inside.

[The crew are taken aback by Chris's room.]

Cameraman: O-kay&mldr; [''Films the walls. Copitz nods understandingly. Chris talks to the dogs in the background.''] Alright, well&mldr; this is, uh&mldr; very nice! [Camera­man zooms in on the sheet of paper pictured above]

Copitz: Yes! [indistinct] uploaded&mldr;

TheGamerFromMars: Yes, this is the room where it was all made!

Cameraman: This is where it all&mldr;

TheGamerFromMars: Sonic&hyphen;chu!

Copitz: Those dogs are screaming bloody murder!

TheGamerFromMars: Yeah! [laughs]

Copitz: They calm down after a little bit some­times.

Cameraman: Yeah, yeah.

[Cut to Chris sitting on his bed.]

Chris: The thing&mdash; is that thing on right now?

Cameraman: Yeah, is that okay?

Chris: Oh. Yeah. Hello! Hello dear ip&mdash; hello dear YouTube and the Internet, all that! Hello! Hello. Hope y'all having a good day. There is your intro. Kinda.

Cameraman: Yeah. Kinda. [laughs]

Copitz: [laughs]

[Title card: "Episode 1: The Birth of Chris Chan"]

Cameraman: Good enough.

Chris: [sigh]

4:00 – [Middling narration of Chris's early life commences.]

53:36 – [Middling narration of Chris's early life stops at the creation of the Sonichu comic.]

Copitz: …feels good, feels good. Uh, is there&mdash;is there anything else, uh, what would you&mdash;what would you like to, I mean&mldr;

Chris: Uh…

Copitz: …I guess, like maybe wanna go to McDonald's or something like that, or we can hang out in the gazebo, maybe…

Chris: Uh… well it's dark out, now&mldr;

Copitz: It is.

Chris: &mldr;so, might not&mdash; not&mdash; be able to see the gazebo…

Copitz: That's true.

Chris: &mldr;but I can&mldr; point it out, it's, uh, you know, behind the house, and, you know where the pen is, the green of the fence right at the, that's, alongside the road there, and then&mdash;

Copitz: Uh, I haven't seen it.

Chris: Oof, anyway, you're driving down Westwood,&mldr;

Copitz: Right.

Chris: and you look to your right. You see, you will see a doghouse before you see&mldr; [dogs start making noise again] the… the, the, the pen&mdash;the gazebo's behind the doghouse.

Copitz: Gotcha, I gotcha. Okay.

[''The two dogs bark deafeningly from the stairs. Chris talks inaudibly. Everybody exits. Cut to Chris holding a flash­light in the yard.'']

Copitz: Here we go, I got the gazeb&mdash; and then I get the [in­audible]

TheGamerFromMars: Gazebo's over here.

Chris: Watch your step. This is your light source, I'm the light source.

Cameraman: Yes! [groan]

Copitz: Alright.

Chris: [inaudible]

TheGamerFromMars: It's a very low gazebo.

Copitz: Yeah, it is, ha ha.

Chris: You gotta watch your head if you're more than&mldr;

Copitz: So, I'm able to, I'm able to stand, barely, but&mldr; at five ten.

Chris: Ah&mldr; If you're you'd have to hunch down.

Copitz: Ooh. Yeah&mldr;

Chris: 'Cause his height's more than six feet.

Cameraman: Yeah.

Copitz: [unintelligible]

Chris: Hm&mldr; yeah, watch your step.

Copitz: Thank you.

TheGamerFromMars: So, Christine, do any of your neighbors know about, uh, Chris Chan and every­thing that goes on online?

Chris: Uh. Among which, yes.

TheGamerFromMars: Have, uh, the trolls ever harassed them?

Chris: Hmmm&mldr; not that I'm aware of.

TheGamerFromMars: I see.

Chris: I pray they haven't!

TheGamerFromMars: Yeah.

Chris: Anyway, so&mldr; bye guys!

TheGamerFromMars: [gruntingly] Yeah.

Chris: Let you all&mldr; walk all back to your vehicles.

TheGamerFromMars: Sounds good!

Cameraman: Okay.

Chris: I'll walk y'all back to your auto­bots.

55:56 – [''Title card: "To be continued&mldr;". Music swells.'']

Analysis
The live‑action segments focus exclusively on Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder. In an arrange­ment remi­niscent of a child­hood sleep­over, Chris single‑mindedly forces his guests to play his autistic twist on an autistic game. After two awkward hours, Copitz manages to put an end to the agony by winning.

Transcription
0:00:00 – [Title card: "The Chris Chan Conspiracy"]

Chris: Uh, the ga&mdash; the pre&dash;existing games, it's, it's the same game&mdash;

Copitz: Mhm.

Chris: &mdash; but essentially we got a s&mdash; we're playing a Start card in a set [?], we're gonna&mdash;I'm gonna play my "house". It's&mdash;the Start card&mdash;

TheGamerFromMars: [laughs]

Chris: &mdash;is essentially the author or&mldr; center&dash;piece of the whole fanfiction. [cut to Chris reading off a card, laughing to himself] "Twilight Sparkle is Eque&mdash; is Equestria's most prolific (and horrific) fanfic author. She ships herself, her friends, and her family together, regardless of relation, orientation, or harmonious mane&dash;and&hyphen;coat color combination. In order to help fulfill Twilight's dream of writing the perfect fanfics, you take turns expanding the shipping grid, joining new Ponies with Ship cards. If you are the first to make one of Twilight's narrative goals a reality, you earn the points for that goal! Of course, you also earn the shame of enabling Twilight's horrible penchant of shipping her friends, but nobody's perfect. [shrill cackle]

Copitz: [mumbles politely]



Chris: Also we want to achieve on the shipping grid, the which in this case we start off with fulfilling the prophecy [?], we ship uh&mldr; any Sonichu with the prime key­word with Chris Chan or Christine Chan, we get the, or, we get, three unicorn sh&mdash;ships on the gri&mdash;, unicorn on unicorn ships, so that's, you know, um&mldr;



Chris: There's my daddy!

TheGamerFromMars: What kind of, um, animal?

Chris: So&mdash; he's a Sonichu! [close cut] &mldr;you know, then each player gets&mldr; four ponies and three ships, that's their starting hand. [cut] [reading off materials] "Each player plays at least one card from their hand if the&mdash; into the turn&mldr; [cut] All Pony cards closely shipped&mdash;as in, you know, attached to the ships [Audio tracks of Chris start to overlap incomprehensibly in a torrent of words. Editing eventually stops in order to highlight Chris saying:] Ah, told you it gets crazy!

Copitz: Yeah&mldr;

[''Title card: "Episode 2: The Rise of Chris Chan". "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" starts playing.'']

0:02:04 – [Narration resumes at the publication of Sonichu ]

0:58:06 – [Narration stops at Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]

Chris: [stress sigh]

TheGamerFromMars: Lots of cards.

Copitz: Mhm.

Chris: But&mldr; situationally&mldr; strategically, situationally&mldr; ah, that is why I have want to do some shipping breakups!

TheGamerFromMars: Are people able to bring their own decks into this game? [being talked over] people have this, decks&mldr; around?

Chris: Yeah&mldr; Mos&mdash;mostly, yeah, actually, yeah&mldr; yeah, I figured out a rule where, like, you know, you can have two completing&mdash; you can have one deck playing against the other. That's another&mdash; that's a set of rules I came up with and had this&mldr;

Copitz: You would think they would get mixed up too much.

Chris: Yeah&mldr; Alright&mldr;

Copitz: Are there any places around Charlottesville that, where you can play this game with people? Like in, in&mldr;

Chris: Yeah, like, yeah, the, the End Games one if, uh&mldr;

Copitz: Oh, okay, yeah, if you can get back in there, yeah.

Chris: Yeah&mldr;



Chris: Ah, the Black Moon, um&mldr; On the Black Moon of Jakoba&mldr; is some autism!

Copitz: [taken aback] Oh&mldr; autism me!

Chris: Yeah.

Copitz: [clears throat] Oh!

TheGamerFromMars: Never heard of that one.

Copitz: That's something!

Chris: That's&mldr; Yeah, made up that me, just has gotta wear disfigured [?] face, but, simply, yeah&mldr;

TheGamerFromMars: Players allowed to trade cards in this game?

Chris: What?

TheGamerFromMars: Are we allowed trade cards?

Chris: Uh&mldr; Yeah, I do believe so, but mostly&mdash; buh&mdash; you don't have randomized booster packs or anything like that.

TheGamerFromMars: [losing patience] Like, during a game.

Chris: Oh&mdash; No. Ha ha&mdash;

TheGamerFromMars: Oh.

Copitz: Ha.

[Title card: "After 2 hours, I slipped a card to Copitz off&hyphen;camera that would allow him to win the game."]

Copitz: Okay.

Chris: So now you can actually add to that&mdash;

Copitz: Yeah, I'll put a ship.

Chris: And then, and then, points, you can also reconnect with the other Start card ships on the grid&mldr;

Copitz: I get ya, I see, I see. So I'll put a Ship here&mdash;

Chris: Yup!

Copitz: &mdash;facing east, and then I will place, I, I, I have this crazy card, "Skylander Chris Chan"&mdash; [black&hyphen;and&hyphen;white video of the card shown earlier]

Chris: Oh, yeah.

Copitz: &mdash;and that works out very very nicely.

Chris: Yes!

Copitz: Because what that gives me is two points, which is just what I need&mldr;

Chris: To win the game! [TheGamerFromMars claps once]

Copitz: The final, the final that I need, the final card&mldr;

Chris: You made the quick play!

Copitz: &mldr;right here, and that gives me an even eleven. [music swells]

Chris: Yip&mldr; Yaaay! "" has won the game!

[sickly clapping from all]

[''"To be continued&mldr;". Credits roll.'']

Analysis
Certainly the most eventful of the episodes, its two halves feature Chris in complementary, yet equally unusual dispositions.

The first half sees Chris stressedly struggling to accommodate a Tetris 99 session in his disaster of a room, culminating in an unexpected outburst.

Watching Chris struggle with uncooperative electronics, with a camera on him, in a space so cluttered as to give you sensory overload, with the deafening and constant braying of the tortured dogs, is an anxiety&hyphen;inducing experience. Chris's slip is therefore one of his most understandable, yet still manages to leave the viewer with a bitter taste. Indeed, the collected episodes of tard rage we've gotten from Chris have been directed at immaterial threats in the sole company of his camera; aggression in a social setting is actually quite unlike Chris, especially as of late with his cultivation of a superior, transcendent image.

Chris does have the social awareness to at least realize his mistake, and immediately tries to mend the situation by adopting a goofy tone. However, one gets the impression that his subsequent autistic stomping to shut the dogs up was conditioned by a "might as well" attitude after the cat was out of the bag.

The second half sees Chris in an entirely different disposition: freed from his house of horrors, he happily prances around Charlottesville's Downtown Mall. The crew enter an Indian restaurant, which sets off Chris's random access humor and prompts him to do an impression. His companions hurriedly shush him. Besides this, Chris acts uncharacteristically well&hyphen;adjusted and makes small talk with the waiter. Outside, Chris is accosted by a female fan who asks for a picture.

Transcription
0:00:00 – [Title card: "The Chris Chan Conspiracy"]

Barbara: [off screen, upstairs, to the dogs which incessantly bark throughout the entirety of the video] Come 'ere.

Chris: [fiddling with electronics] &mldr;this gon' do, we'll [unintelligible]

TheGamerFromMars: Yeah, we're gonna some, some, some three&hyphen;player Tetris here&mldr; [TheGamerFromMars or the cameraman mumbles "okay"]

Chris: Aah, actually four&hyphen;player, I have&mdash;

Copitz: Ah— do— can, can you play it just three player, if Jesse's gonna be filming?

Chris: [perhaps a little irritated] Oh. Oh yes of course, we can play it three&hyphen;player. [someone "mhm"s]



[Shot of framed Son-Chu license plate]

Chris: [unintelligible] &mdash;find the&mdash; my mom's clapping up the dogs! Aaand everything's falling. Freaking gravity! It busts me, it confounds me! [squeak]



Chris: An organized chaos, this is my creative method, hah. Anyway, I&mdash; just gotta plug in my Switch dock, 'cause&mldr; I didn't have enough plugs left to do this, hm! [cut] Figure out how we can&mldr; [burping sound from someone] I got two pairs of Joy‑Cons, obviously, so&mldr; see if we can&mldr; play Tetris this way.

[''Shot of a stack of Sonic, Super Smash Bros and Guitar Hero game cases. Dogs start howling. Tension mounts.'']

TheGamerFromMars: [drowned out by hounds]

Copitz: Yeah.

Chris: I'm tryna set up here, see if we can all play with these&mldr; hm.

[''Shot of the PSP of Fail on a cluttered piece of furniture, next to a figurine of Donald Duck. Tension is rising.'']

Chris: [whispering] Joy‑Cons&mldr; [unintelligible] we're gonna finally&mldr; [''Barb says something to the dogs. Camera pans to an uncomfortable TheGamerFromMars.''] regular basic controller I have. [slurred, unintelligible] I&mdash; ah&mldr;

[Shot of a shelf full of game cases]

TheGamerFromMars: [with Chris going on in the background] &mldr;really need to find that controller?

Copitz: GameCube adapter maybe?

TheGamerFromMars: Yeah!

Chris: It's all I've got [raises voice] No, no, we don't have GameCube.

Copitz: But the, but the Pro Controller?

Chris:

Copitz: [taken aback] Do&mldr; do, do you have the Pro Controller?&mldr; [pan to TheGamerFromMars's "told you so" expression]

Chris: [realizing he'd messed up, taking on an amiable tone] I have a Pro Controller, I just don't know where it is right now. [cut] [unintelligible] The dogs are barking, they're driving me bonkers. Uh! It's definitely not&mdash; defilly&mldr; does not get boring around here.

[''Cut to Chris rummaging through heaps of miscellanea on the table with the visitors mumbling indistinctly. Something tumbles. He pauses in defeat, adjusts his glasses, belatedly stress sighs and wipes his forehead'']



Chris: It does not focus right now, got the&mldr; [drowned out by barking] [cut] Ah, here, I'm gonna try an Xbox controller, see if I can plug it into a USB port, see if that'll work. [cut] Plug this into the puss [?]&mldr;

Copitz: Alright&mldr; Now let's see! A Microsoft controller is compatible with a Nintendo system, it's the moment of truth.

[Chris is fiddling with buttons during a brief respite from barking]

Copitz: No.

Chris: No! [cut] '''DOGS, SHUT UP! YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA BE LIKE "WAWAWAWAWAWAWA"!' [cut'']

TheGamerFromMars: Let's just make the [?] find the controller.

Chris: Ap!

Copitz: Yeah.

Chris: Ap!

Copitz: Alright.

Chris: Ap! Ap! Aah! [triumphantly holds the controller while the visitors applaud]

TheGamerFromMars: Alright.

Cameraman: Ayy.

Chris: Phew.

Copitz: Right when you said that.

Chris: I just need to turn&mldr;

TheGamerFromMars: There's no batteries.

Chris: &mldr;on. It has batteries, I was just gonna turn it on. [clasps the battery door] [cut]

Copitz: [to TheGamerFromMars] No, yeah, I understand, yeah.

Chris: [cut to Chris stomping his feet on the staircase]

[cut to Chris back from the confrontation and Copitz's worried expression]

Chris: Yip! Got their attention with&mldr; stompitude. Phew. Alright. [cut to Chris, Copitz and TheGamerFromMars ready to play Tetris]

TheGamerFromMars: I'll go ahead and do the intro, I suppose.

Copitz: [''YouTuber voice activated. Chris talking indistinctly about the game in the background.''] Hey guys, it's Copitz, I'm here with Christine Weston Chandler and TheGamerFromMars, or Art. Today we're going to be playing some Tetris 99.

[''Title card: "Episode 3: The Golden Age of Chris Chan". Beethoven's 5th starts playing.'']

TheGamerFromMars: It's gonna be a fun time.

Chris: I'm workin' on this. [game chirp]

0:03:03 – [Narration resumes with Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction.]

1:31:12 – [Narration stops at Chris leaving the internet again.]

[Chris, Copitz and TheGamerFromMars are walking  East Main Street due west, at the intersection with Heather Heyer Way, coordinates 38°01′48.6″N 78°28′45.7″W.]

Copitz: Do you like Indian food?

TheGamerFromMars: Yeah sure!

Chris: Oh yeah, Indian&mdash; I could go for Indian at times.

Copitz: "Taste of India", this is one of my favourite places. [Shot of restaurant signage]

Chris: [going downstairs, in a sing-songy voice] Oh! Taste of India!

[cut to everyone standing inside]

Chris: Mmm, it smells good in here.

Cameraman: I mean, it's&mdash;

Copitz: [indistinct] I'll ask.

Cameraman: It's pretty empty.

Chris: [energetically] Oh boy, I'm gonna&mdash; okay, now I just&mdash; I just feel like I have to do this, first time in here, feel like I got to do this: "Hello, my name is Apu! I want to do&mdash;"

Copitz: No, no, no, no, no, we don't have to do that.

Chris: [somewhat embarrassedly yet unrepentantly putting hand in front of mouth and chuckling]

Copitz: That's alright.

Chris: "Welcome to Kwik‑E‑Mart!"

Copitz: [to waitstaff] Hello.

TheGamerFromMars: Hello.

[cut to Chris at table]

Chris: [polite, in total contrast to his previous demeanor] First time coming here, this is a lovely place, I'm surprised&mdash; I mean, I walked the mall many, many times and didn't think of coming in here. [shyly looking at his attendants] Feels really good, smells good!

TheGamerFromMars: So you like Indian food?

Chris: Ah, I'm open&mdash; I&mdash; I keep an open mind for all kinds of foods, so&mldr; I mean, if there's something I don't like, then, well, at least I've tried it once. [Way to go, Chris!] [cut] Yeah, and I'd definitely be open&hyphen;minded for trying some [adopts Scottish accent] if I ever go viti&mdash; visit Scotland or something! Ha ha ha!

Copitz: What is haggis?

Chris: Sheep guts! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Copitz: Oh!

[cut to Chris flipping through a MLP comic book from a shelf of kids' books]

[Everybody is outside now.]

Chris: [pointing a sign for a shop called "O'Suzannah for Littles"] I never noticed this, but [singing uncharacteristically tunefully] ", now don't you cry for me, I come from Alabama with the banjo on my knee, twang twang twang twang twang twang twang twang!" [cut]

Female Fan: Oh 'scuse me, is it possible that we can get a picture? You're the author of Sonichu, right?

Chris: [excitedly] Yes!

Female Fan: Yeah! Can we get a picture?

Chris: Yes!

Copitz: Do you want me to take it for you guys?

Female Fan: Yeah! That'd be great. Thank you so much. I couldn't believe that I saw you, and I was like&mldr;

Copitz: It's awesome.

Chris: Yes, hello! [embraces three fans]

Female Fan: [chuckles]

Copitz: There you go.

Female Fan: Thank you so much, it is great to meet you!

Chris: Nice to meet you too!

Male Fan: Nice to meet you too!

Chris: Thank you!

Female Fan: Have a good day!

Chris: Take care! [walks away] [to the crew] It doesn't&mdash; it doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's very humbling.

Copitz: Yeah, I've never&mldr; [trails off]

Cameraman: So you don't get people coming up to you too often?

Chris: Hmm, I say, on average, probably once or twice a month.

Cameraman: Okay.

Chris: But it's, it's very humbling and good when it happens.

Cameraman: Yeah, happens.

[cut to Chris & Co. walking on East Main Street due east after the intersection with First Street, coordinates 38°01′50.5″N, 78°28′52.7″W]

Chris: But anyway, that was one side of the park with the statue, we come on the other side of the park and the, in the side of the street, where the library is at, right there.

Copitz: Right.

Chris: [possibly to the tune of "&hairsp;" by Fats Domino] And I'm walkin', into the "Love".

Copitz: Oh yeah.

[cut to Chris behind the "O" of a giant "LOVE" in the square at the intersection of East Main Street and Second Street, 38°01′50.2″N, 78°28′50.0″W]

Chris: Feels good, send 'er [?] in.

Cameraman: [apathetically] Yeah.

Chris: Send 'er in and I'll do my thing.

Cameraman: Alright.

Chris: [imitating, a character who, at the end of cartoons, bids the viewer farewell] "Th-Th-The, Th-Th-The, Th-Th... That's all, folks!"

[''Title card: "To be continued&mldr;". "Für Elise" starts playing.'']