Jackie E-mails

"Without his mommy's pride and kisses Without his country's confidence Without the dying man's permission Without no guilt or consequence This bloody-minded son of a bitch Has not a wound to mend And all I can do is pray to God he'll Get one in the end"

- Crash Test Dummies get back to Chris

The Jackie e-mails is a collection of e-mails between Christian Weston Chandler and an innocent woman named Jackie, whom Chris met on The HooK Café. The e-mails span from 5 April 2010 (around the time trolls discovered Chris's account at The HooK Café) to 7 September 2011.

Summary
In the first two parts of the collection (until 21 April 2010), Chris goes on about Pokémon, trolls, his war with Alec Benson Leary, and his rage over THOSE FAKING FAKERS WITH ASPERGER'S. He also still thinks that The Lord of the Rings had owls in it. Chris claims to be still working on Sonichu, but is seeking to post the comics on Lulu (ironically, a troll scheme was started like this), and setting up a date. The most telling part of this is the prelude to Chris's return to the GAMe PLACe. As revealed in these letters, Chris wholly expected everyone inside the store to have forgotten about him and his antics, as well as his banning, only to learn that all has not been forgiven. Jackie watched the video and became concerned over his antics, and talked about what Chris had done on 12 April.

By this time, however, Jackie was seeing the bigger picture about Chris, especially after she discovered the CWCki, thanks to Chris, and it all went downhill. Jackie learned that Chris didn't want to put in the minimum amount of work to keep a sweetheart. Jackie was willing to try for some sort of relationship, but in the end it was Chris, not Jackie, who ended the relationship. He felt that his lazy ass couldn't handle the rigors of being in a relationship, and realized that sending her to the CWCki was the stupidest thing ever. Jackie fired the last shot, calling him out on what he truly is. Chris fell back on his autism card and told her to tell it to someone who cared.

Which would be everyone except for him.

The letters
Jackie's e-mails are in light red; Chris's in white.