SonichuBabies



SonichuBabies is a video Chris uploaded on 25 October 2010. In it, Chris recasts the Chaotic Combo as babies in a poor-man's version of the 1980s cartoon Muppet Babies. Much like everything else he steals, Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "The Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't supposed to be doing!"

The video is notable for showing how poorly Chris understands childcare. In addition to leaving the group unattended, the children watch TV shows meant for older audiences, ostracize and bully Blake, and physically fight each other.

Video
"We're having fun today in da room, aren't we!"

Transcript


[Displays four crude drawings of members of the Chaotic Combo as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws, singing] Oooweeoooh, Sonichu babies, we make our dreams come truueee...!

[Wild Sonichu and Blake in shot] Sonichu babies, we'll do the same for youuu...

 [ Sonee and Rosey in shot] When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you weren't theeere...

Rosey: Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]

Nanny: Is everything alright in here?

Babies: Yes Nanny!

[Displays all drawings, dropping some] Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

[Sonee and Rosey appear]

Sonee: We're having fun today in d-in d-in da room, aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey!

Rosey: Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's Wild, Bubbles [Blake appears instead of Bubbles], Punchy [Angelica appears instead of Punchy], Magi-Chan, Angelica, even Blake! [Shows other drawings]

Blake: Hello. What? I'm the weird one. Compare me to Gonzo. I have black hair though.

[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]

Both: Anyway, come with us, we'regoingtohavefun, whee!

[Moves the two around without rhyme or reason]

Both: Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm.

Sonee: Ey Ro- ey Rosey we're jus' a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now?

Rosey: I wanna do that thing like we saw on da TV show.

Sonee: That what ya wanna do?

Rosey: Yeaah! Alright!

[Makes the babies kiss]

Both: Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

 [ Magi-chan moves into shot]

Magi-chan: Boy! Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... The Young and the Restless... they been makin' out, all the time! They've been overdoin' it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

[Disembodied legs return]

Nanny: Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me.

[Comic Chris's trademark sneakers join]

Chris: That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. [Pause] Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies?

Nanny: Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.

Chris: Oh yeah you're right, I'll stay home, you go out to get the groceries.

Nanny: Look how we settled that!

Chris: Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. [Pieces of paper "kiss"] Okay, see you later. [Female legs leave]

Chris: Alright children, y'all s- y'all be careful out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. [Hastily grabs bunch of children in view] Okay Papa C!

[Bubbles and Wild, Rosey accidentally sneaks into frame]

Bubbles: What's the matter, Wild?

Wild: Iunno. Suddenly I just don't feel well.

Bubbles: Well, and why is that?

Wild: I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue!

Bubbles: You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does!

Wild: Yeah, what was that guy's name?

Bubbles: Uhh... heck if I know!

Wild: Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue!

Bubbles: Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes.

Wild: Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime.

Bubbles: Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round.

Wild: Okay! [Both move out of frame] Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]''

Punchy: Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armor! Oh! A communist, huh? You freakin' no good-- [interrupted by off-screen female voice] Would anyone happen to have a nail file on them? ...C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec I thought [unintelligible] in real time because I watchin' live television!

[Replaced by Blake]

Blake: Yeah. Mm. I really like Bubbles. She's so pretty. She's so bubbly, she's so fun! ...I'm just-b-I'm just the weirdo here. I'm the one that gets left out. And it's not because um- and it's not because o' my color! It's just because I have my own opinions aside from theirs. I do things for myself. ...Sometimes I like to re- sometimes I like to read even though I don't know how to read yet! ...I'm different. I think for myself and things. I play too sometimes. But I'm s- but it brings danger along som- uh, it brings danger with me sometimes, n'...that makes me sad. Y'know, they can't apprecia-me, appreciate me even though I'm never danger...

[Sonee and Rosey enter, Punchy sneaks into frame]

Rosey: Listen-listen to-m-listen to Blake over there. He's all goin' on an' on with his own self, impulses again.

Sonee: Yeah, always talkin' to himself, eh? I don't know, seems kinda weird-

Blake: Aw, will ya shut up? We all talk to ourselves at one time or another.

Rosey: Sorry, Blake!

Sonee: Yeah, sorry dude.

Blake: Aah, whatever. [Blake saunters off] Hmm.

[Angelica enters]

Angelica: All the lovely things we r- I read in the Bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna Bible. Good story.

[Magi-chan appears]

Magi-chan: Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica?

Angelica: Oh, this one, I'm reading about Genesis. The story of Adam and Eve!

Magi-chan: Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten.

Angelica: YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.

Magi-chan: I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there.

Angelica: Thank you. [Pause] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [Whine] Well, at least we women grew to power eventually.

Magi-chan: Yeah.

[Awkward pause]

Angelica: Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.

Magi-chan: [In a very pushed tone.] Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday.

Angelica: An' Nanny takes us!

Magi-chan: Yeah. And Chris comes with us too!

Angelica: He's a good Christian.

Magi-chan: Yes he is.

Angelica: So what you wanna do now?

Magi-chan: Let's go play with Legos!

Angelica: Okay! Wheeee! We're off to play with Legos!

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]''

Punchy: Hey Wild, you wanna spar a li'l?

Wild: Okay Punchy!

[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]

Punchy: Huh. Got me there.

[Wild "hits" Punchy]

Punchy: Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW!

''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]''

Punchy: Oh, shoot. I knocked him out da window! Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window!

Wild: I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!



Punchy: I'm sorry.

[Awkward silence]

Punchy: Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches. Cuz I gotta pull my punches if I wanna work[?] inside the nursery.

Wild: Yeah.

Punchy: So, I'll do that.

[Punchy comes forward]

Punchy: Because, violence is not always the answer to e- is not always the answer. So- ye- uh, self defense, it can be... the answer.

[Wild moves in front of Punchy]

Wild: I agree. I don't like being bullied. Me, I was- b- m- I was out there riding my... bicycle the other day, an' bully comes up to me, and he, he g-steals the bicycle and he beats me up! What's wrong with that dude?

Punchy: D'ya want me to go beat him up

Wild: Nah, I just need to learn self defense.

Punchy: I'm gonna go find and beat him up. Hiyaaa!

[Both launch out of frame, but Wild returns]

Wild: Ya don't even know what he looks like, where ya goin' Punchy? ...Anyway. [Turns around once, leaves]

[Punchy re-enters]

Punchy: Th-you can't beat me Punchy[?], I'm comical, knock knock, who's there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I didn't say banana? [Pause] What? [Pause] Oh well. Knock knock. Who's there. Uhh, hello? What d'you mean, "hello". Well you said "who's there". Dyeah knock knock joke? I say "knock knock", you say "who's there". What? I stayed up watching Home Movies one night. Place- It's a funny cartoon show with Brendon Small[?]. Not recommended for children, though. It- still maybe teenagers. Or youth- or you- think it's a PG rating. TV-PG. [Jiggles around] I don't care I watched it by myself! I was up, I was wirey! I couldn't go to sleep! [Is still for a second, before leaving somewhat abruptly.]

[Sonee and Rosey return]

Rosey: Okay so... What should we do now?

Sonee: I think let's go play House!

Rosey: Yeah let's go play House again!

Sonee: Yay! Doodoodoodooboodoodoo, hi honey I'm home.

Rosey: Oh, where've you been? Mmm, I mean, how was your day sweetheart?

Sonee: It's been good, y'know, I've just been, uh, doing business and everything. M-keepin' everything- keepin' the city safe with my swift speed and lightning attacks!

Rosey: Very good. I've been minding the children. Although when I went out, I wa- I was intercepted by one of the villains! But I- gre- myself at self defence, I struck them right back! And I stood my ground.

[Pause]

Sonee: That's very good. How're the children.

Rosey: I think I just told you that. [She didn't.]

Sonee: Oh yes you did! The children are good! Hey- okay- so- that was good, let's do role reversal.

Rosey: Okay!

[Switch places]

Rosey: Hi honey, I'm home!

Sonee: Oh hi honey, how was w- how was- how was your work at journalism?

Rosey: Oh, very good, I wrote- guh story here, and there. [Pause] The bank was robbed.

Sonee: There was a v- there was a bank robbery?

Rosey: Yeah, didn't you hear that? There was a horse and mane!

Sonee: Horse and mane?

Rosey: Sure, the horse was on the main!''

[Pause]

Rosey: What? Iunno. Go figure. Comedy. Anyway, [unintelligible], and I made, bulublugh, and I made, promotion!

Sonee: Very good. The children have been doi- have been doin' good today. I mean theyuh, the slow- I mean uh, the younger one pooped all over the place. Ugh, that was a whole bunch to clean up. And, uh... and the older one missed the toilet! I didn't know what to do with that, 'cept to clean it up, and tell her that it was wrong to do it in that direction, not to aim it this way, that. So I've been cleanin' and cookin' and keeping house all day long.

Rosey: And I've been out journalism all day.

Sonee: Yeah.

[Pause]

Sonee: Anyway uh, today was grocery shopping day so I went out for groceries. S- an' children ha- and children... went with me. I took them along with me. And, they were okay in the car for a little while but then there was a scr- then on the way home there was a screaming. Yeah, the younger one was tired. Just waawaawaawaawaa. Waaa. [Pause] So the older one kept- kept the, uh- kept the younger one quiet, you know. At least she knew better. So, she calmed him down.

Rosey: That's good.

Sonee: I had to change a few diapers to- I had to change a whole number of diapers for that little one. What a mess. But I'm willing to go through with it, because I am the father! The house husband.

Rosey: And I'm the one that goes out, make the money.

Sonee: Okay. So. Wanna end the show.

Rosey: Why not?

Sonee: The puppet show. Alright. Yeah.

Narrator: Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Dudududududuh!

[Feet come back into view]

Dududududududuh! Duh duh!

Nanny: Thank you very much, goodnight!

Chris: Goodnight.