Date with Emily



On 19 March 2009, Chris went on his first date ever, with a troll called Emily. For posterity's sake, the event was recorded, and is now presented in text format for your enjoyment here.

Chris brought his father Bob along for the date. Amusingly, it is Bob who leads much of the conversations throughout; he and Emily share lengthy and fairly interesting discussions about his past, retirement, and other life aspects, while Chris is relegated to various attempts at interrupting and the occasional aside. An hour or so later, Emily and Chris leave on their own - and it is at that point where The Man in the Pickle Suit spirits her away from Chris.

Summary

 * The trolls worry about a possible appearance by Barb, wire Emily with a microphone and run a mic check.
 * Emily talks to Bob, ignores Chris.
 * Bob recites his work history, from serving in the army to retirement. Chris talks a grand total of 9 times, gets ignored.
 * Bob goes on at length about being retired. Chris tries to interrupt on multiple occasions, and fails every single time.
 * Chris reveals his favorite artist is Britney Spears.
 * Bob discusses his patchy medical history.
 * Bob points out that Chris doesn't pay that much attention to him, Chris struggles to find an explanation for why.
 * Finally, Chris gets a whole minute in which to talk. The Amnyfest Ring makes an appearance.
 * Chris asks why UVA doesn't have a Sonichu Girls chapter.
 * Chris brings up his pink-eye.
 * Bob goes back to his health problems.
 * Bob and Chris mention their Cherokee heritage.
 * Chris flirts.
 * Chris fails at flirting.
 * Chris does the infamous Donald Duck impression.
 * Chris talks about Sailor Moon.
 * Emily and Chris leave Bob and go out into the mall.
 * Chris brings up winning the Sonic competition.
 * Emily tries to be discreet about going to the bathroom. Chris announces she's on her period.
 * Emily attempts to escape.
 * The Pickle Man arrives and saves Emily, whereupon Chris announces "HE KNOWS CLYDE CASH." A random passerby, seemingly baffled by the strange scene, stops to complement Pickle Man's costume and asks why he's dressed like that. When the Pickle Man explains that it's for an advert, the passerby is sufficiently impressed and continues on their way, but not before Chris tries to explain that he was being haunted by the Pickle Man.
 * Pickle Man suggests that all three go to watch Watchmen; Chris expresses hesitance and apprehension while Emily agrees with the idea, much to Chris's protests.
 * Chris gives up trying to make any sort of defense against the Pickle Man's logic.
 * Chris tries to kiss Emily goodbye.
 * Emily makes good her escape and goes home with the Pickle Man.

Cast
Frosty - A whiz kid, his high-tech know-how keeps the group online.

Camwhore - "Emily's friend", her mission is to capture video of the event.

Emily - Queen of trolls, she risks both life and limb on a plunge into the heart of darkness.

Pickle Man – Brave and daring hero, he protects Emily from certain peril.

Chris – Misshapen, autistic manchild, his disgusting nature seeps into the very recording of his voice.

Bob – Robert Chandler, the proud Internet lumberjack. Possible love interest to Emily, though he is apparently nothing more than a slave to Chris.

Video
This short clip contains the only video footage known to exist.

Overture (0:00:00–0:03:13)
Frosty: Okay... lock it?

Frosty: Okay-

Camwhore: Are you wearing a thong? With a-

Emily: Yeah.

Camwhore: That better be fuckin' tight.

Emily: It's tight.

Camwhore: That may pop out while you're walking around, while you're like-

Emily: I should be like-

Camwhore: Or a robotic vagina.

Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: Say "It's my vibrator."

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: It's one of those things that you see taped to those- those hentai-

<font color="#000099">Frosty: Well, the thing is, Chris- if you said that to Chris, he would squeal.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh! Okay, if he gets, like, way too close to me, I'm just gonna be like- get my chair farther away.

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: I really like your [inaudible]

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [laughs] Maybe Barb- Barbara can come.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Apparently, she doesn't leave the house anymore.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: No, I'm just [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [inaudible]

<font color="#000099">Frosty: There- there are Barb candidates everywhere.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#000099">Frosty: No, no, no, no, no, no. But- but in all actuality, there should be no Barb; if there is Barb, I will shit myself.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: If there is Barb, we're- we're done.

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: We're not showing up.

<font color="#000099">Frosty: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#000099">Frosty: "You brought your mommy?"

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I should be like, "No– just put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today."

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: Yeah.

<font color="#000099">Frosty: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That's it.

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: And you can call him and be like "You owe me a dire apology, and you're the… jack-off-"

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No– I'm sure I'm gonna yell at him, and make him cry.

<font color="#000099">Frosty: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: And I'm gonna be like "Oh– I live in Clyde's playboy mansion now." [laughs]

<font color="#000099">Frosty: No– even better!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: [aside] I'm waiting. I'm part of Clyde's playboy mansion.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: I'm the janitor.

[all laugh loudly]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Okay– let's go see if he's there.

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: You go see if he's there.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No! 'Cause- 'cause it's-

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [inaudible (but about "a girl")]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: 'Cause I'm gonna make it like an entrance, like… "Hiii!"

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Did he say where [inaudible, presumably "where he'll park his car", judging by Camwhore's response]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No. Like, he wants to be- he wants to meet in front of Chick-fil-A, so…

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: Figures! But the general idea would be you park near where you wanna… go.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [chuckles]

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [inaudible]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: What if that [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: [aside] [inaudible] Do you see those pile of balloons right there? Swear to God: it looks like a penis.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [inaudible]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: The balloons. Right here.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh… [laughs]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: It's a fuckin' penis.

[pause]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: Nope.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, okay.

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [sighs]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: [sighs]

[pause]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: There's that ugly bitch that looks like Hamster Girl… at Starbucks.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [chuckles]

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: She looks like Hamster Girl.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Which one looks like Hamster Girl?

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: Right there. The only one that you can see working?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Oh– over at Starbucks? You should see her with that hair off.

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: No, no, no. She looks like Hamster Girl. [inaudible]

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: I'm telling you: you should see her with that [[hair] off!

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: Oh– she don't have no hair?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Um...

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: Oh– she has a fake-

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: She has fake hair, or… she has no hair… or the hair back like this.

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: Well, yeah– I knew that.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: I was gonna say: I don't- I guess she dyed her hair blond. 'Cause I remember seeing her with some ugly, strange-colored hair.

Target acquired (0:03:13–0:04:43)
<font color="#000099">Frosty: There he is!

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: Shut up!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [startled] What?

<font color="#000099">Frosty: I can see a [inaudible] jacket.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh my God! [jokingly] Eject! Oh my God!

<font color="#000099">Frosty: Is your jacket on? [unintelligible] Put your jacket on. Are you ready?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– I'm ready. [laughs nervously] This is gonna be my best acting moment ever.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: He can't see my face before I suit up.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– go, like, look, 'cause he has to sit down first.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [inaudible]

<font color="#000099">Frosty: He'll realize later: that's what it was.

<font color="#FF6EC7">Camwhore: I don't feel bad.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Okay. Hopefully, he, like, won't come, like, around and- [inaudibly interrupted] Huh? I don't have my phone.

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh my God…

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: If this goes all smoothly, I should get, like…

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [inaudible] Where do I sit… to, like, watch [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Um, there's some benches, like… by the tables. [abruptly] Oh! Oh! Oh, no.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Where do I go?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Okay– there's some benches, like, nearby…

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Yeah?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Um, just sit and watch him [unintelligible] till you need to go change or whatever.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Okay. Well, I- I started the- I [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Okay. I'll [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [exhales loudly] Yeah. Or just, like… kinda walk around and see if you can… see us.

The Green Mile (0:04:44–0:05:19)
[Emily's footfalls can be heard as she marches off to meet the manchild.]

Meet the Parent (0:05:20–0:07:17)
<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Hi!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hello! Emily?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah! I'm Emily. So nice to meet you!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hi, Emily. This is my father, Robert.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Hello.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Hello. [pause] I've started shopping a little bit.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: That's alright.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You're from West Virgina?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah... I used to live here for a while, but then, I-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [abruptly] Hey!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: But then, I moved to-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Cute hat!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– I thought you might like it.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [laughs contentedly]

<font color="#545454">Bob: You go to school over there?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– University of West Virginia. My friend, uh, wanted to go to school there, and she's my best friend, so I have to… go with her everywhere! [laughs nervously]

<font color="#545454">Bob: That sounds like the best way to do things!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. Hey, Emily– you mind, uh, a photo of you and me together?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Sure!

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: What are you taking?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I'm doing journalism.

<font color="#545454">Bob: What?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Journalism.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Journalism?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Ah! You wanna be a writer!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah! [giggles] I did a lot-

<font color="#545454">Bob: He has a… half-brother who's- who lives in New York City… and, uh, does freelance writing and show reviews and things… for newspapers and magazines.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Is it- does he love it?

<font color="#545454">Bob: I guess.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [giggles again]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I haven't talked to him in years…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I can't this dang camera to work!

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– that's- I worked at, uh- I'm an engineer… and engineers never learn how to spell.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I think very logically, but I-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Shoot! I got bad batteries in the camera.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [disappointed] Oh...

<font color="#545454">Bob: If I would- if I would write anything, half the words would be phonetically rather than the way we're… supposed to do.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I got along fine… writing stuff… on my word processor… when I had a spell checker.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Without that, I'm [unintelligible, but clearly self-deprecating] [laughs heartily]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Did you like doing engineering?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well... I- I had a real u-nique situation…

[pause]

Bob's work history (0:07:18–0:16:58)
<font color="#545454">Bob: Look, uh… I'm- I'm really old.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Okay– to start with: I'm 81. And, uh, I came along before transistors.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Not- not all the solid-state stuff we have now, but even before transistors… when we had vacuum tubes. I, uh... got drafted after World War II. That's how old. But, uh... then, they put me in the Signal Corps, and they knew things I didn't know. They taught me how to install valve systems and switchboards and telephone poles. So, I found out: yeah– I'm pretty good at that. So, when I got out– 'course that was in 1947– I found out- now, I know that we had a depression on our hands; I didn't know it then. You couldn't get a job, so, I thought "Well, I got the G.I. Bill. I'll go to school."

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– now, it's really hard to become an engineer.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– now, ya- I, uh- I went to… a state teaching college to start with, 'cause I had the philosophy that if I went to a big school I'd be just… swallowed up.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: So, I went to a small school and took Pre-Engineering for two years, and that was the best thing I ever did, 'cause I wound up, uh- well, I got- I got through my two years of Pre-Engineering in small classes.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And also, I loved music, and I was in the band and everything. And I got in the symphony orchestra… and learned a lot about music while I was up there too. And then, I went to Auburn, and then [unintelligible] talk about getting swallowed up!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Then, at that time, Auburn- which now has what: 30,000 students, or something? Auburn had about 5,000 students. I got my Engineering degree. And then, when I got out, I said "Well, I'll, uh... I can do anything with relays and telephones and valve systems, and that sort of thing. I'm gonna work for Western Electric."

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: That seems logical, right?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [suddenly offended somehow] Hey!

<font color="#545454">Bob: Because they make, uh-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You- no– you listen to my father… because he's somethin'! Because I get some of my intelligence from him.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Especially my technological intelligence.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But anyway, I, uh- I went to work for them for forty years, and, uh... at that point in time… Uh, this is even before the Atlas missile… the ICBM.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs nervously]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Before the Korean War… and, uh- but, I- I found out they were building radar systems. Well, that was fine, but also, they had lots of government money, so they wanted some automatic test equipment. At that time, nothing was automatic. They had none!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: So, that's what I went and built, that kinda stuff, what I learned in the army, right?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: So, I started working with the first automatic test equipment that we ever made. And then, GE heard about it… and they came down to, I was in Winston-Salem, in North Carolina. And- so, GE came down; they offered me a job… up in upstate New York. Cold country in Utica.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And then, uh... I went down to build some automatic test equipment for the ICBM [unintelligible] Intercontinental Ballistic Missile.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Nobody knows how, 'cause we haven't done it before.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: We'd done some of this automatic test equipment down here. "Why don't you come up there?" "Well, okay!" So, I went up there for three years and helped develop the, uh, automatic… equipment… for testing the missiles, and… all the guidance systems, and things… in the [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But- but I got- I was a soldier, true and tried, 'cause I was born in Texas and raised in Alabama.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And then, I was in North Carolina first. And then, I hit upstate New York, and I froze to death. [chuckles]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Yeah, that must be really different! [laughs again]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, after three years, I said "I'm going back to somethin' [unintelligible]" Well, GE- I didn't know it then, but I had a real, natural draw… to the mountains.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And I knew about Roanoke, since I'd been in, uh, [unintelligible] So, I wanted to come back to Roanoke, and GE had a plant there.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And… their plant specialized in industrial automation. Except they didn't done any automation yet. They were just industrial-controlled.

<font color="#545454">Bob: So, I finagled a transfer back to Roanoke, and… I got there just at the time when they were startin'… to make… any kind of automation controls for engines.

<font color="#545454">Bob: So, I got into what they call "a new business area". And I got to do all the great things. All my- I- I really had it right. I was in the right places at the right time.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Because I am very logically-inclined.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That doesn't really happen nowadays, with the economy…

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– and I- I'm a logician.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Oddly enough, I never learned how a transistor even works… on records. But I use 'em all the time.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I use 'em. I'm retired now, a long time. But… when I started out with this group, and the first thing we got into was trying to automate a steel mill… for rolling [unintelligible] steel for your cars.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, we did that. And then, I got into… how to roll papers so you could get Kleenex.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [giggles]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And, of course, y'know, he's the guy that designed the controls for all the plastic water machines, so without him at this time, you couldn't have the plastic for your glasses.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And- and then- then, I got into- I was in the new business area where we could do the first one… and then, somebody else would take over and do the others.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And- and then, I got into managing a paper mill. But then, I got into the… industry of- of, uh, like phone lines, warehousing, automatic transition, like BART: Bay Area Rapid Transit.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Automatic railroads and all that kind of stuff. Automated a bunch of that. Then, I got into automating a bunch of mine [unintelligible] around the world.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: You've been through a lot!

<font color="#545454">Bob: And then, I went to automating tanker ships, so you could run 'em from the bridge and have nobody downstairs.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Just someone else involved-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Want some water?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No, thank you.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And, uh... then, uh- then, um, I got into… I developed a system and I found out that there was very few people like me in the world that had this natural… inclination… for logic. You know, like the ANDs, and ORs, and the what-ifs, and the what-if-nots.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And then, I developed a system… which is called [inaudible] that stands for- it's an acronym.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Hardware-oriented Y2K pile of junk!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Similar fortune… was in… hardware.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, okay.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hey, everybody– I got [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, thank you.

<font color="#545454">Bob: What this enables-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [unintelligible, but clearly addressing Emily]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [giggles] Thank you.

<font color="#545454">Bob: What this enables everybody to do- and me, too, but I was lazy…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Was to write down on- on paper– and design on paper from the start– a sequence of parallel lines.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And up to that point, nobody had a way of writin' it down on paper.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [half-stifles a genuine laugh]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And they still don't, really! [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But that [unintelligible] to mind, horse and buggy.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Elevator-type system that's over a 5,000 ft. hole!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Then, I got into, uh, designing… scooter machines, which fused all the plastic around wires, and things like that…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Scooters. And then, I got into... die-cast machines… and the machines automating them. They make things like carburetors, and cans, and whatever. And then, I got into plastics… and even the plastics were [unintelligible] automating their machines. In the process, I ended up with about… two patents [unintelligible] in my name that they own. And all this… dumb stuff. And I saw the first 2-liter Coke bottle…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Come off the line in New England.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible] on it, and all these [unintelligible] microvalves, and doors, and- and, um... shutters, and stuff like that made out of plastic. All this stuff we got plastic.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [unintelligible] in your frames!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yep! [giggles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Including, uh, Tupperware.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Can't… go without Tupperware…

<font color="#545454">Bob: So, then [unintelligible] finalized and- and perfected, basically, this [unintelligible] process…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Of design and documentation. [unintelligible] It came time for me to retire. And so, I did! [chuckles]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: So, now, I'm un-indated with all this stuff I did, and I don't know whether I did the world a good thing or not.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I think you did!

<font color="#545454">Bob: But I can't-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: You did a lot of things.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I can't spell the word "cat" without a 'K' in it.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh, yeah, well, y'know, I'm proud of him anyway, for his accompliment- accom-plish-ments.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: He's got a half-brother who's a doctor.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: His son.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... okay.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And he's got a- and I have a daughter, who is his- his half-sister… that's a… Phi Beta Kappa outta UVA Atlantic.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: She's workin' for the federal government, and she's got a Ph.D. now. She's working somewhere for the federal government. All these math people… I dunno.

Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)
<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I'm not very good at math. [giggles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I'm not that-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That's why-

<font color="#545454">Bob: I'm good at logic, but not at math.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: But I'm good at math!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#545454">Bob: He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hey– look! Hey– look it! I have… your plastic lid on it!

[Chris chuckles and Emily laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: We've been working with him, now, for 27 years.

<font color="#545454">Bob: It was a challenge. Most of the time, I've been retired, so I could stay home.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah... usually, if you're not very good at math, you're really good at writing, which is why I'm going for journalism.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– well, I, um... I did- I do alright with writing as long as I got a spell checker.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I just, uh- I- but I enjoyed my life. It- it, uh- it- I had… things; I had- I had opportunities that most people don’t get.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I got to see all this stuff now.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That’s good. I hope that, like, y'know, I can travel around the world and, y'know... write up- do some journalism, like, overseas.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– I’ve been to Australia, and I’ve been to Korea, and I've been to England. Most people [unintelligible] to see 'em, but [unintelligible] I've never seen, 'cause they work too good.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, it- it was interesting. [pause] I wish I could get- find out what Christian's really good- well, he’s pretty good in drawing…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And writing.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– he- she should know; she- you’ve- you should know; you've seen a bunch of my artwork.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah! It’s really good! All my- all my friends like it, as well.

<font color="#545454">Bob: He’s creative… but he’s, um... I- I guess you know he’s- he's high-functioning autistic… and, um...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: At six, he couldn’t even talk… but he was… programming [unintelligible] on his computer: his Commodore computer…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Commodore 64.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [laughs] Which was his first little-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh! I don’t know very many- much about computers! [giggles] Sorry! [giggles some more]

<font color="#545454">Bob: You’ve probably got a laptop, with a word processor, don't ya?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [reluctantly] Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. Yeah– but you-

<font color="#545454">Bob: Now, we've- we- we’ve brought him a long way.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: It’s been interesting.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... well, that’s a little piece for you- that you can, uh, write about, if you want to.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah! That- that would be interesting.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Anyway, you- anyway, you came all the way here from, uh, VCU? Or did you make a few stops along the way?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No– I came all the way from VCU. Um... like, a lot of my fr- uh, friends over at VCU? They're into the whole Sonichu thing, but there’s a lot more… uh, like, I guess "Sonichu Girls"…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Up in, uh, the University of West Virginia. And we… k- we kinda do, like, a newsletter-type thing every week.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Wow.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: But this is in one of my favorite spots in the country.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [responding belatedly to Emily] I commend you for that.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible] little trees on West Avenue.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Have you heard of West Avenue?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You know where West Avenue is?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– a little bit; I don’t… really go in that area.

<font color="#545454">Bob: They're at the end of VCU, then?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs politely] I don’t know that area very well.

<font color="#545454">Bob: It’s- it's a street of, uh, townhouses. And it's about three blocks long. And it’s got a second name called "Stork Alley".

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And every spring, they have a "Stork Alley Rally".

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh? Oh…

<font color="#545454">Bob: At the same time, they have the Easter parade over on Monument Avenue.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– I’ve never seen it before, but my friends tell me about it. But I’m usually stuck in, y'know… college.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– but- but I was only in Richmond… um… 1975 through 1980. And then, I got married to his mother. And, um... he was born, and then, we got transferred over here; I worked for GE. And we lived in Chesterfield County… but I love West Avenue; that’s my favorite spot.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I call it "Sesame Street".

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, that’s… [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Because they call it "Stork Alley", 'cause there’s so many kids.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, yeah?

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I- I- I love the Virginian area.

<font color="#545454">Bob: His mother… was raised– but you wouldn’t believe it– she- she was raised in a [unintelligible] home. And one that's [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Right there on, um… I can’t think of the name of that street: the one that goes right in front of the Burger King… down at… VCU.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don’t know what… streets really are-

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, again- but that is a street that goes right in front of Burger King…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And right down the street from there is where… his mother lived for about twenty years and raised her first son. And he’s got a lot of ties to the family, too; he just doesn’t like me.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... do you guys have a big family?

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, uh, we’ve got- we've got my son, and my daughter. You- my son’s in Richmond, and my daughter’s in Washington.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And then, we’ve got her son, who's in New York. And then, there’s the three of us.

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– Schiflett's a really big family.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– we got… two- really, two separate families.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mmm.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... but it’s not as big as The Brady Bunch!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: No… it isn't.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But we- we- we enjoy it, and I- I have- uh, I grow flowers. And... I don’t have to worry about… makin' a livin' anymore…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: With Social Security, and... the GE pension. And GE's good and sound… fortunately!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs politely]

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: So, uh... I- I grow day lilies. I’ve gotten my yard full of [unintelligible]. And in the middle, I’ve got a, um... well, about fifteen-foot plastic greenhouse.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Except… inside this greenhouse, it’s different.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Inside this greenhouse, there’s plastic flowers.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh– plastic flowers?

<font color="#545454">Bob: A swing… and, uh, all my stereo stuff, and, uh...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– but he’s got real flowers in his garden.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh. Oh, okay.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– the day lilies are real, in the garden; but inside here, it’s all flat.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– day lilies bloom about once a year, during- dur- about once-

<font color="#545454">Bob: In the summer.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: This- this summer.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: There- there's also that-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And then, they stay that way for about a month or so. It’s a beautiful garden.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, I can imagine!

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– I’ve got about 15,000 healthy-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [dreamily/creepily] Imagine!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And I- I love all the music from- from Dixieland to Big Band to [unintelligible].

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Raise me on music, he did!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [giggles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And- and musicals. And soundtracks.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Well, what’s your favorite artist?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh, my favorite artist? Well, he didn’t raise me on it, but, y'know, my favorite ss- uh... singer is Britney Spears.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Britney Spears?

<font color="#545454">Bob: And, uh, he's got all- uh, mine are all back from the '40s, and '30s, and '20s, and-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: And he’s into… more modern pop music?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Although… I guess if I had to pick a classic favorite, it would have to be Satchmo.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: "Satchmo"?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Louis Armstrong.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And- but I've got him all these big classics now-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [does terrible Satchmo impression] "Ten feet off the ground! Ba-doom-ba-bam-bow. [Worst attempt at scatting ever]"

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [imitates trumpet melody]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [giggles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I couldn't afford it when it came out. All the European records were [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I couldn't afford it when they came out, 'cause they were ten, twelve dollars a piece, then, but now, you can get 'em at Goodwill and Salvation Army…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Well like-

<font color="#545454">Bob: A quarter to fifty cents apiece.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [feigning enthusiastic agreement] Yeah! [laughs weakly]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Thousands of them now!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And inside, uh, I found out that inside this, um… um… greenhouse…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm?

<font color="#545454">Bob: It's got a dome ceiling… which gives it the ca- cathedral kind of [unintelligible]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well... I found this great stereo system at, uh- in the 1970s, at Goodwill… and put it out there… along with the swing.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And... if you turn the volume up, then that music just sounds like it’s the hall where they recorded it! Ah– it's great! Goin' out there and swingin' with my music for hours on end!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [unintelligible]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [laughs heartily]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That must be really relaxing!

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, yeah– it's a nice life!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah! [laughs politely]

Bob's health problems (0:24:23–0:25:29)
<font color="#545454">Bob: If I didn't have to worry about him, I'd be in great shape!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs sympathetically]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [chuckles]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [laughs nervously] [unintelligible] But he's been- still been in… good shape all his [unintelligible, seems like gibberish] I mean, he's been in- he's been through, uh, three triple- two triple-bypasses?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– I was supposed to die in 1980.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, no! What happened?

<font color="#545454">Bob: In fact, I did.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: What happened?

<font color="#545454">Bob: I smoked too much…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#545454">Bob: And, um... I worked for GE.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I did all this dumb stuff I shouldn't have.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah- but yeah– he- but yes– uh...

<font color="#545454">Bob: And, um...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: God let him survive!

<font color="#545454">Bob: I had a couple heart attacks, and...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [responding to Chris] Yeah– for a reason!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And he's got a pacemaker now!

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah... I- I've been through- I lived through a triple-bypass in 1980 when they were brand new.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs nervously]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And survived that… so, I've only died a couple times! And then, I got- I got through that. Then, he came along.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hey! He come-

<font color="#545454">Bob: And then, I- I got retired…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hey!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Hmm?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– hey– he's the one that's b- that has seen the light, but did not actually go to it…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And, um...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: A number of times.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I had another triple-bypass in '92… And I died a couple times that [unintelligible] And that was at Chippenham, over in Chester County.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

Memories of High School (0:25:30–0:26:12)
<font color="#545454">Bob: And, uh... when I was over there with him, I- I put him to school through, uh, Chesterfield County's school system.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh...

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, they're the best in the country…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#545454">Bob: For- for schools, I think.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah...

<font color="#545454">Bob: And- and, um...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Manchester High.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [uninterested] Oh, really?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Then, um...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: That's my birthstone: amnyfest.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: And the side of it… What does it say: "Lancers"?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Is that- wait– is that your mascot?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Then…what's on the other side? "2000"?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yes... that's my class and coat'a arms.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Manchester High School. And look at the jewel! It's a galaxy cut on top, and a rainbow on the bottom. If you look at- in the ring-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Do you see-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I see it!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Do you see the rainbow?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. Well, anyway, like, y'know, I guess that's enough- y'know, that's enough talk from him. Uh... you were gonna ask…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Aww...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Me something?

The "Sonichu Girls" Club (0:26:13–0:29:01)
<font color="#545454">Bob: Now, I wanna find out about these… Sonichu Girls!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Sonichu Girls?

<font color="#545454">Bob: 'Cause I didn't know about them.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh– didn't… Chris tell you about them?

<font color="#545454">Bob: No– he doesn't- no– he doesn't normally- he doesn't… tell me much about them, so... See– he's a- he- he and his mother stay up all night… and I stay up all day.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh... actually reminds me more- actually, we're more- sometimes, you stay up in the day; sometimes, you stay up in the night.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: So, you've got, like, mixed… like, sleep schedules, I guess?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... my mom- and my- my mom picked up my bad biological- my messed-up biological clock.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#545454">Bob: She stays up all night! But anyway... I- I- yeah– I found out about 'em from… I guess, when you called on the phone…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh! [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And- and left a message.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– it's a pretty big fanbase. Um... there's actually about- about 30-some girls… at University of West Virginia who, like, are part of the fan club.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Hmm!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: And then, there's- I mean, there's, uh, plenty of others, like, around the world, too, that- we talk to… um, on the forums that we have?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Uh-huh.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Do- you got one here in UVA?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don't know… [giggles] I don't have very many friends at UVA.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely] That's why I heard- that's why.

<font color="#545454">Bob: VCU's [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. They're a lot more laid-back over there.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah. Well, they're in the sand! How else could you be?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: 'Cause in the sand, you have to be laid-back.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Y'know, I was curious about this- this club…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh?

<font color="#545454">Bob: I- I didn't know he even knew about it! I didn't know about it. I think it's great!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah!

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hey– I've been on the Internet chat! And plus, y'know...

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Y'know, certain-

<font color="#545454">Bob: Plus the medallion, Christian!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... um...

<font color="#545454">Bob: He's got this yellow medallion with Sonichu on it…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah! Why- why aren't you wearing your… [suddenly concerned] m- medallion?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Um... I just believe I expressed that, uh... in a video on, uh, YouTube? But I- I, uh...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I might've missed that; I'm not sure.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– um... I'd rather not say in front of- I'd rather not say in front of Father… but, uh...

<font color="#545454">Bob: There's a lot of things he doesn't tell me; he doesn't share things with me.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... [laughs nervously]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [whispering] If I told him why, he'd have another heart attack…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, no! [laughs politely]

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Whatever.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah! [laughs politely again]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... But I mean, y'know… think of it this way: at least you don't have another face that you have- you don't- it saves you one face to have to look at!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah... [laughs nervously]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– and look at 'em, y'know: they're ashually green-blue.

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– I see it!

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– pink eye in that eye, and then, uh, the prescribed eye drops changed the pigment!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Wow... I didn't know that… could happen! [laughs nervously]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm. Yeah... looks like you kinda, like, uh, have green-brown eyes yourself?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I thought they were just plain brown! [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– it's just that- y'know, it's- the angle of the light kinda gave it a little bit of a greenish tint…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah...

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible] might be blue...

Emily isn't hungry (0:29:02–0:29:58)
<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... but anyway, uh… you came all the way from VCU; uh... you hungry?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh– no, I'm not hungry. I ate on the way here, really.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh– you-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Stopped at, like, a rest stop. Got some vending m- [laughs nervously] vending machine snacks… and that's it.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh. That's good. That's good; uh... Father was thinkin' about, like- was gonna get us spaghetti, and, uh... [truly flustered] we wanna sh- we wanna split it be- he was gonna split it between me, and, uh... I'm gonna split mine with you…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, no… I'm not hungry. Thank you, though!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [weakly] Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: We usually split a spaghetti, 'cause I- I can't eat it all!

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... it's a really big bowl for him…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Really… whoop!

[Emily laughs and Chris chuckles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: It's not as big as I'd like… y'know... it's bigger!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No… [giggles]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Let's see… well, Dad– why don't you go get your spaghetti?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Do you want some?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No. I'm- I'm not hungry. Thank you, though…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... we could get you some water.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No– I'm not thirsty, as well.

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm. Okay– well, go ahead and get your sh- go ahead and get the spaghetti, Father.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Alright.

Bob's health problems revisited (0:29:59–0:32:11)
<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– I got one other thing I was gonna tell you about…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Since we've talked about it: on that, uh... I've died about five times now. The last time, I was at Golden Corral. The restaurant?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh?

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And… my mom was there with him.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [chuckles] I just… hit the floor!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, no!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No– not really; uh... he was- uh, he was pullin' out his credit c- not really "hit the floor", but… he was pullin' out his, uh, credit card?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And he would've… hit a- he was standing in front of, like, the cash register, and there was a bar railing there; the bar rail was there. If he- if my mom wasn't there to catch him…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: His- like his guardian angel, he would'a hit the bar and would've been… worse…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Would've been worse off!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, wow...

<font color="#545454">Bob: But anyway, uh, now, I've got a pacemaker.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Wow. [laughs nervously]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– and that's when he got his pacemaker.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I guess that won't happen in, uh...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: But I- I think the real reason why I survived all those attacks… which I think I'm proud of…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm?

<font color="#545454">Bob: I don't know about you.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: He's proud of it.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I'm proud of it. I don't know whether he is or not.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I'm proud of him, for it!

<font color="#545454">Bob: But I'm, um- I found out a few years ago- about… 10 or 15 years ago…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm?

<font color="#545454">Bob: That I was… at least one-fourth Cherokee!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– so, that makes me an eighth… Cherokee.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: So, I figured that- and then, I checked back all my father's… relatives [unintelligible] all the way up to be up in their 80s, and 90s, and even over 100 sometimes.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Dang! [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, I figured: well, that's why I keep bouncin' back from this.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: This ain't my time yet.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– either that or, uh, God's lettin' him stick around for my… c- for my case.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Somebody's gotta look out for him!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... [laughs nervously]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [cackles]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [cackles almost identically]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Somebody's gotta pay the bills!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs nervously again]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah… okay, Dad, uh... you s- alright, Dad-

<font color="#545454">Bob: Now- now, I'm dismissed, so I can go eat.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... [laughs nervously yet again]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Well… not really "dismissed", because… y'know, I'm a little hungry myself… So… [laughs nervously] y'know, Dad, please go get the spaghetti and the bread.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You sure you don't want something?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– I'm sure. Thank you for asking, though.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– y'know, I was concerned, myself.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, I'll let you two talk… mainly to save the table…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Yeah…

<font color="#545454">Bob: [laughs heartily] Then, I'll come back, and… If you don't mind us eatin' in front of you!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don't mind.

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: You better tell me more about this club you've got!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

[Bob walks away]

Chris fails at flirting (0:32:12–0:36:48)
<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm. Yeah– y'know, you- uh... I must say you look good.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh– thank you!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And, y'know, you are the first, uh, female Sonichu fan to have actually come a long distance to see me.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh– well, it's not that far! I’m sure, like, maybe some of the girls from VCU would come down sometime: like, maybe during s- uh... summer break.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– but I mean, at least all the way from, uh, West Virginia.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I mean, that’s farther than VCU, I'm sure.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah! [laughs politely] We might take a road trip down here.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [in a sing-song voice] "Take a road trip! It's a little road trip!"

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm. [does terrifying Donald Duck impression] "And this is my duck talk! This is, uh, Donald Duck!"

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs in disbelief] [almost fearful] Is that the one that scared that child?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh... at the-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: At Wendy’s.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don’t know how that’s scary.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No– not- not- no– not- really scary; y'see, he was tired…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... okay. So, you…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, okay.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: But it makes a lot of children smile, ‘cause they’re familiar with that D- classic Disney character.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah!

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... you mi- you don’t mind if I t- if I, uh, have my hand on your shoulder?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh, not for too long…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [chuckles] "Not for too long".

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Okay... not- not for too long…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Okay [incredibly creepily]...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs nervously]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm. [chuckles again] This is like- wow– I finally… get, like, this… beautiful girl in front of me…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely] Thank you.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And she's like- and she actually got to know me.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [weakly] Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Just, like, y'know, uh... Yeah. So… what’s your- what's the reason you need your glasses for? I’m near-sighted myself.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– I’m nearsighted, as well.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don’t have very good eyes.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [chuckles] It's like, y'know, we’re close, so it's like, y'know, we don’t need glasses to see each other…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Do we?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Hmm... no– it's still blurry…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... Mmm. How do you look without that hat? I mean, I want- I'd like to see the, uh…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I- I like this hat. My hair doesn’t look good today.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Your hair doesn’t look good today? Are you sure?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– I’m sure. [laughs nervously]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: How’s my hair look?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: It looks good!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm. Looks good. [chuckles] Boy– I've had it sleepin' against pillows… and I took a shower before I went- before I went to- um, crashing on the… couch.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [slightly disgusted] Oh...

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– but I put on some, uh, bod- body s- some Axe body spray before I left. Do you like that smell?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– it depends on which one it is.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh, which one is it?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I believe it's, uh... it's called "Proximity".

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh– I really like the choc- the new chocolate one.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh– the, uh, "Dark Temptation"…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh– I was running low on that can anyway.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... okay.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: It's like I- if I- if I- if we- if we was hookin' up, I would've gotten more of that!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

[Note: Chris both stutters and laughs through "if we was hookin' up", so it's not at all clear that Emily realizes what she's laughing at.]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [sighs] But seriously, though: you are cute.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh– thank you.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm. Mmm... Yeah– I like- I like this- I like this- I like the get-up you’re wearing. It's like you're- you c- you straight- came straight from, uh... the, uh, PGSM… show.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, yeah... [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: It's the live-action Sailor Moon.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– I’ve seen some of the episodes for that.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I’ve got the entire series-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Saved to my PlayStation 3, including the, uh, wedding episode.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh– I don’t… think I’ve… seen that one… so…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: It's, like, the very- it's, like, a very special last episode.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, okay.

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [in a strange, baby-like voice] You actually get to see Usagi… [back to his normal voice] and, uh- aww, shoot– I forget his name, but, y'know...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh... Mamoru?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– Samoru. That’s it; you got it.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You got it!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You got it.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– I used to be a really big fan of Sailor Moon. Well, I still am; I’m just not as big of a fan as… nowadays.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Did you see [unintelligible] entire anime series?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Um, I haven’t seen the last season.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– Sailor Stars.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah... 'cause it didn’t come out in America, 'cause they’re, like, afraid of the transsexuals?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [chuckles] Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs nervously]

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... Yeah– I kn- I know that. But I have that on, uh- I have that on DVD-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh, y'know, with J- Japanese audio and English subtitles.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: How do you feel about that? Like, the transsexuals and… the Sailor Starlights?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. Um...

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Does it, like, make you uncomfortable, or… would you-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Would you have minded if, like, it came out, and the TV showed just, like, little kids?

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Um... Yeah... [pitiful] I don’t have much of an opinion…

[Emily and Chris both laugh]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: It's kind of a… sketchy subject, there.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– it's, uh- it's… [in a British accent] itchy…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [pause, laughs nervously]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– but you can sketch a lot in your, uh... journalism, don't ya?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. Well, I m- I mean, we don’t draw a lot; we just… We do, like, the little outlines, and then, we start writing.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Okay– well, I mean, you- I mean, you sketch your letters.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I bet you sketch your signature pretty… don’t you?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No– I thinks it's, uh- it's just basically a buncha' scribbles.

[Chris and Emily both laugh]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Eh... a lot of people would say that about their signatures, I’m sure.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Well, I mean, some people just, like, put an 'X' for their signature, and that’s it.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Ah... but not you. You put…

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: An 'E' and… an 'S', basically. [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh- uh, an S?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– Emily Schiflett.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh– that’s your last name!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: "Schiflett".

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah– my middle name’s Julia.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: "Julia"!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: "Emily Julia Schiflett".

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [weakly] Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Flows nicely, doesn’t it?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: It's beautiful!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Aww... thank you.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: D- do you dot your I in "Julia" with a heart?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No... [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [chuckles]

[pause]

Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)
[Bob comes back]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [sighs] Alright, Dad– uh, I'll let you, uh, divvy up the spaghetti onto my plate.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I get to divvy it up!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [chuckles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Wow! Christian– I don't know… I tell you, my treat to finally come down here! I love their spaghetti!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... really? I don't think- I've only had their pizza there… before…

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah– the, um- all the spaghetti places in town are too expensive.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: My favorite, though, is, um, Olive Garden.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– b- but-

<font color="#545454">Bob: But they don't have one here!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: But they should have one here.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I think they should.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [weakly] Yeah…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You ever been to an Olive Garden?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-mmm.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm. Well, yeah– it's a good place to, uh, get, uh, spaghetti.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, okay.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I- I've actually- yeah– y'know, I was there with my father… when- the few times we visited, uh, Olive Garden.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– a good place to get, uh, spaghetti; really good. [pause] And also, we've been to the, uh, few, uh, nearly- to the other nearly esstinct, uh, restaurants: y'know, like Shoney's and WesterN SizzliN.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh– I haven't seen a Shoney's around in a while!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: There's one in Chesterfield Count- there's a bun—there's a few in the Richmond area…

<font color="#545454">Bob: And one over close to VCU!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh! Really? I didn't see it! [laughs politely] Of course, I'm- I'm usually not looking for them, so…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– we even ha- yeah– we even- at- at home, somewhere, we even have a t- we even have the- the teddy bear: the "Shoney Bear".

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: The Shoney Bear?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– it's- that was their mascot.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, okay.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And I mean, if you look it up- if you look up "Shon"- if you- I'm sure if you Googled "Shoney's", you'd, uh... find their mascot being the teddy-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Being the bear.

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [in a somewhat cutesy voice] "Bein' the bear in the shirt…"

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [unintelligible] "to… wan- to wan- to… gawk- to gander at!"

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Christian– they got lots of juice!

[Chris chuckles and Emily laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Well, you can have it…

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I don't need to, uh, slobber all over myself… Especially in front of my, uh, "lady friend", here.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs politely] Aww...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Do ya need a little bit more? [long pause] You can deal without…

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah– he doesn't usually eat the bread, so, uh, I'll take his- so, I take his breadsticks.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I'm gonna go get some more water.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Okay!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I'll be right back.

[Chris walks away]

[pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible] share with him.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs politely]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I share with my wife. [unintelligible] She had to stay home today.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Does she do anything for a living or is she retired as well?

<font color="#545454">Bob: She's retired. She used to be a secretary. She worked for uh, General Power.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You know, our nice power company, whatever they're called now... Dominion?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And uh, she worked for, um,Circuit City for a while before she retired.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Well good thing she's gone- she got out of Circuit City before they started going downhill.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, well they were going downhill [unintelligible] retired.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh really?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, [unintelligible] got retirement. She didn't retire 'til, a couple- three years ago. She's younger than I am... everybody is!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: But she's younger than I am, but uh [pause] [unintelligible] she uh worked [Chris comes back] She loves that band there, over there. I like the band there. She loves that. Grey Street. Grey Street. [a Dave Matthews Band tribute]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Do you know where Grey Street is over there? Do you uh, Do you know where the Burger King is over there by BP is?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [chuckles] Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [unintelligible, Emily is laughing as he says it]

<font color="#545454">Bob: The Burger King is on Price Street.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I-I-I'm an engineer [unintelligible] uh, Main, uh, what you would call Main Street.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: VCU is all back in [pause] all back in here like this,

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible] and downtown Richmond is this way.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [says something about Pokémon]

<font color="#545454">Bob: He loooves Pokémon.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, we used to come down here for the Pokémon League or uh [unintelligible] Yeah, I remember that.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well VCU is-is you is-is here. Well all around in here, they're everywhere, but fifth Avenue is over there.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And Grey Street is three blocks, all the way through there like this where the lower side of VCU is.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And they got all their little restaurants and their little stores and things like that and they're all along Grey Street.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And where his mother lived for about twenty years was right about here... On Grey Street.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hey, by the way you know I have eaten with uh, chopsticks before.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: See there?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That may be kind of hard with a fork and a knife. [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Heh heh heh hey that's close enough.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I can't...

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, well while we were over there in Richmond.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I'm sorry, are you a little bit Chinese or Asian or Japanese?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Nuh-uh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I think it's just from wearin' glasses.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, I think it's just the glasses... And the dark hair. [chuckles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: My best friend over there was Reverend Chen of the Korean Church.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And this is in Chesterfield County.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah. And he was from Seoul, Korea, and I was in Seoul for about a year. Went in about the time he was born.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: But he was my best friend over there, and I used to spend talking with and talking to. Because he was really interested in the world.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mmhm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And I'm really world oriented, and my favorite institution is the United Nations.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I think they're the answer to everything we got in this world... but... [delayed pause] We went to the Korean church while we were over there in Chesterfield County when he was in school. I tell you, that's where picked up the chopsticks.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [Starts talking but is cut off by Chris.]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: They gave me, they gave me my Bible that I used in my Sundays- days... when I graduated from High School.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Is it part, like, in the other language? Or-

<font color="#545454">Bob and <font color="#4682B4">Chris: No.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh, only English, okay. I know there's some that have like two different languages in it.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, it's a King England- It's a King England Bible.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And what they do in the Church, they-they [trails off quietly]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: King's English, whatever it is.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [still quiet, hard to hear] ...Korean.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: It's all Korean language, except for a few of 'em. And then they had like, a wireless [unintelligible], those little earphones, where you could hear the translation.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [chuckles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: It was kind of neat, I-I enjoyed it.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, everybody was able to bring their own food and we'd get to sample it for uh-, and we'd get to have a nice lunch meal every Sunday there.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] You like spicy food?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, I like- I like spicy.

<font color="#545454">Bob: What I was gonna say, uh, kimchi.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah. Go away, you know?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Too spicy for you?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, it's too spicy for me.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [sounding it out] Kim-chi, hm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But, uh, like they told me if anything that's red, forget it.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [chuckles]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Except your spaghetti sauce, right Dad?

<font color="#545454">Bob: They didn't have spaghetti sauce, no they watched that to me, they gave me that more bland stuff.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh. [chuckles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I even-I-I-I even had my own special fork.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: If it was me I can handle spicy, seriously, I can even probably even handle the kid-the kid- the kimchi, what he said.

<font color="#545454">Bob: That's- that's-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I can't handle spicy food that well, it upsets my stomach.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Mmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I like jalapeño a little bit

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [chuckles]

<font color="#545454">Bob: -a little jalapeño. I love [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Hah, yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [something more about jalapeños, followed by silence] Yeah, they told me anything that was red, don't pick it up.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs politely]

[silence]

Bob on World News (0:44:47–0:51:00)
<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, I miss Reverend Chen, he was- he was really interested in learning about the world.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mhm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And he didn't have much of a chance-[hard to hear] and we- we'd sit there and talk, at McDonald's-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: every morning, for 2 to 3 hours, and just go through The Washington Post, page by page, you know, just learning about the world

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Good. I wish I could, like, pick up the newspaper and read more. I mean I pick up, like, our school newspaper and that's about it, but I mean when it comes to world events I read some of the articles, but I mean some of them I just can't get into.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, it's a new thing on TV.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mhm?

<font color="#545454">Bob: At least we have it here on Comcast... I don't know what you have though.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I'm not sure what-

<font color="#545454">Bob: Over there.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I'm not sure what-

<font color="#545454">Bob: But, it's a program on public television, it's really a station here, we have three different stations, [unintelligible] and one of them's called World News. [says call sign], World News.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don't think we have that.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And, they uh-they have uh English translations of everything on it, but they have programs that originate all over the world. [unintelligible] So you see how the rest of the world looks at the U.S.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: So you see what they're saying about us and what's going on over there. Half the time I find out things that are happening in the United States, that somebody in Germany or Russia or China or in Japan-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] That's always nice.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, that's one of my my favorite stations, and they have it here. I-it's a public radio sponsored thing, but it's called World View.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: W.V.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I think my school has that, I'm not sure, I might have not never noticed or anything like that.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well they might have it, because it's very educational.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I like watching Discovery Channel.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, I watch Discovery, and World Discovery Science, and World History, and-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah there's lots to see on TV. In fact, uh, I can give you a tip that you can pass along. Christian thought of it. He came up with it, believe it or not. He taught himself to read.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Really?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Oh he could really read, by turning on the closed captions on the TV.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Wow, that's-

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That's go-that's clever!

<font color="#545454">Bob: I keep telling everybody I know including all these learning Ph.D.'s, and psychologists,

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And everybody, you know [unintelligible] you got a kid that's all wired up, [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Turn on the closed captions, [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible] and they learn how to read!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah!

<font color="#545454">Bob: But they won't listen to me, I'm just an 81 year old fogey!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: But he came up with-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: But you know they'll come up with it and someone else will take the credit for it later on.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible] I don't think it really matters, but he came up with it

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

[Bob fades into background noise]

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...I thought it was such a phenomenally good idea. [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well he-he's got a photographic memory.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: But I think those were the autism a little bit.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And I got an audio memory too. [apparently they were talking about him]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Cause he can, you ever heard of, um Mario World?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [chuckles]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [chimes in to correct, sounds a bit upset] He's talking about Super Mario World.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well in three days, he-he [unintelligible stuttering] killed King Koopa. I can't get off of Yoshi's Island.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] I'm not very good at those games either. [more laughing]

<font color="#545454">Bob: The reason he is, is cause he can remember all those different moves.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: It's like taking a picture, [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] I reckon I wanna know about that.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I'll tell you one thing, you've got pretty face. [not a mistake]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Aww, thank you.

<font color="#545454">Bob: She looks like Margie, doesn't she?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: What?

<font color="#545454">Bob: She looks like Margie.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: What you mean the Peanuts character Margie?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: You know Margie?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs again]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh...no. [cuts off Bob with more laughter from Emily] No, I'd say if anything she uh, wait a minute I'm trying to...I'm trying to figure it out. Um...

<font color="#545454">Bob: She doesn't look like Peppermint Patty.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah I'd say, uh, you compare when-when tied up there, you look more like, uh Rei from PGSM.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, [pause] she's one of my favorite characters.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You like Sailor Mars, [lame voice] Flame Sniper!

[pause]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Who's your favorite character?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Um, with the exception of uh Usagi and Chibi-Usa. I like, uh, Ami.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Any particular reason, like?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [chuckle] Well, I don't know it's just like you know

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Cause she's smart?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And uh also, I think it's, I think also it's the blue hair, I'm not sure.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Do you like blue?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, blue is my favorite color, what's your favorite color?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I like green.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You like green. I guess you like Jupiter.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, sort of. [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [apparently doing a horrendous impression of Sailor Jupiter] Jupi-tahhh!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah!

[pause]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [clears throat] [to Bob]You know, if you uhh, if uhh, you moved, uh, the car, you'd- you'd be all right by yourself at this point, right?

<font color="#545454">Bob: I been takin' care of myself for eighty-one years!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Aww.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I mean, it's like, uhh you know, if you, uhh, don't feel like sitting around any more, we can go, uhh, walk and talk.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don't want to leave him by himself. I mean...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: He's all right.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Will you be here at the mall very much longer, or...

<font color="#545454">Bob: I dunno.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Well, if he's here by the time we get back, he'll be here for that much longer.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: OK...

<font color="#545454">Bob: I can stick around, but I'm slow.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, he's slow.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I like to eat slow, I don't gobble my food [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

The Bear Band (0:51:01–0:55:23)
<font color="#545454">Bob: -enjoy it, savor it-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You know I taste my food and savor it as well. At least my first bite.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs] [unintelligible] Even faster than you!

<font color="#545454">Bob: After that it's [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah but by the way, you know it's on one of my shirts. It's on my favorite shirt, you know, the one I draw myself in often.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, OK.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, I felt it was appropriate for uh, being my first female Sonichu fan...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [interrupts with a laugh] Thank you.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ... have come a long distance.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Thank you. Anyway, where do you want to walk off to?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh, you know, uh, anywhere in the mall.

<font color="#545454">Bob: All those exciting things around the mall.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, doesn't look... it's not very big. [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: You're right.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah I have. I wish it was two story, like Regency Square.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Where's that?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: It's in Chest'field County.

<font color="#545454">Bob: No, it's not in [???]...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs over Bob]

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...County. It's close [inaudible] It's across the river.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] ...That's that big shopping center over in north, north-west side of Richmond.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh. I've never heard of it.



<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, and it has a Bear Band there... that's uh, where I got...that's where I learned about "Christian" and got my name changed from "Christopher" to "Christian."

<font color="#545454">Bob: How come none of your fans know about it?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: For one I didn't share it arou- didn't talk about it very much.

<font color="#545454">Bob: When he was born... I was too chicken to name him "Christian."

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Wow.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I was too... so I named him "Christopher."

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But I really wanted to name him "Christian."

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And so, when he was... what? Seven or eight years old...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...we were over at Regency Square...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah I think his photo...

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...at Christmas time. And they had this automated Bear Band.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Like... they had bear characters that were playing instruments, and one of them was conducting and singing.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And...but underneath there was this old man fella talking, and he had a camera, so he could see who he was talking to. And he [inaudible] talking to the Bear.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] was British...had a British accent anyway. But he was talking to Christopher. And he asked Chris-he asked uh, Chris his name. He said "Christopher," but he misunderstood.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And he thought he said Christian.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: So he started calling him Christian.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Over there... at the mall.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Guess he liked that, and uh, so later we got- later we got... later we did all the paperwork.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Made it official, changed it from-from "Christopher" to "Christian."

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Well at least he got the name that you wanted to give him.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, yeah I know. But...and then Christian came along with later and confided in me like he does sometimes...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [awkward laugh]

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...sometimes, that he had so much- too many problems here in Greene County, north of here where we live.

[loud cough, probably Chris]

<font color="#545454">Bob: It's a little small county 'n rural. Got... maybe 10,000 people in there.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: It's about ten... yeah, about ten miles up the road.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And, uh... he had so much trouble over the school system there. They tried to put him in an institution for years. For years I fought 'em in court.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And I kept winning and winning and winning, but finally I took him to Richmond to go to school...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...to get him away from...them.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And I spent seven years over there with him in a townhouse while his mother was working over here.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But, um...anyway, he confided in me one day after we changed his name.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: He was all, "I really wanted to change my name to uh, to be a Christian as a new life in Chesterfield County...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: We left Christopher over there with those people in Greene County.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, but then here's the [unintelligible] I thought...I real-I realized, uh, later after we came back to our Ruckersville home here.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh...yeah, um...after we came back I started hearing Christopher, like you know, Christopher Thorndyke from Sonic X, at least.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: It's like... it's like- like you know...at the same time it's like th-those...it's like the past spirit of Christopher saying [high-pitched voice] "You should change your name!"

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Anyway, we're still... we're still back in the same house, you know?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] programmed... I had an interesting life...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don't know.

Chris's card game history (0:55:24–0:59:24)
<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] Now I can play around... [Chris talks over him]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. Well actually, uh, also you know, [inaudible; possibly 'brace yourself for the history of how it originally started'.] [coughs] In Chesterfield County in 1998.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: In the February '98 issue of Nintendo Power, uh... they had the p- the had the uh, they had the Char- they had the Charmeleon Pokémon card from the first base set.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. Two months...yeah, like a month or two after that, over by the Books-A-Million I signed up for the Pok... I uh, with...uh...within that time I uh learned to play the game after I picked up some cards from the deck. Then I went to the Poké- I started going to the Pokémon league over there, at the Books-a-Million.

<font color="#545454">Bob or possibly a bystander: Oh my god.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Then we moved back to Ruckersville, uh, been around, uh, went to Pokemon League over at, uh, Toys "R" Us, then uh [''inaudible, sounds like "The End".'], and uh, finally over at The, uh, Game Place.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: But then they kicked me out, uh, last... June of last year.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Was that at the Toys "R" Us or, uh, the End...?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, they don't...they don't do that anymore [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: You could always, like, go back to those places, I mean, maybe they've...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: ...got other card games that you can play.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, well [clears throat] I think why- also why one of the reasons why I decided to go back to playing Eye of Judgment.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I'm going to the online tournament that's like starting today.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Are you gonna...are you joining? Or...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, it's basically all I have to do is go online and play against...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...oh... uh... against opponents like around the world.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh. Nothing hard. [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: You play him, you'll probably win.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, if I get... if I get within the top 100 I win the free promo cards they're off- offering.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh, what do you... what do you get if you win like first place, do you know?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: A title.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: A title? [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yep. A title. If I don't go-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Why don't-no money or anything like that?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No, but...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...you know, at least I get the free promo cards.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And I'd-I'd just as soon get the cards than the title, but if I get the title, then that's just plain dumb luck right?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Like that one time you won what, $500 worth of stuff?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh yeah, I-

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh yeah, uh, four hunnerdollar gamecar- GameStop gift card from that Guitar Hero gift card.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh yeah! I voted for you.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Thank you.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] You're welcome.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But he won.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, I mean I shared it with my church's congre-my church congregation.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Well what did you spend your portion... did you spend some of it on yourself?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, yeah, I spent it on myself. I got some Wii games for myself, Country Music and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, you were popular at the church.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: You gave...you gave about 10 or 15 games away, right?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh, no, it wasn't-it wasn't like 10 or 15, I'd say it's more like, uh, five or eight.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Five or eight.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, but you know the top three, you know, the uh... three of the children over there, they uh, they requested from me, they appre-they appreciated it so much they gave me... made this little tree for me and little ah-ah-ah branches...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And put like the... they put like fun little ornaments, like you know, like you know twist-tie- you know, twist-ties...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...and the uh... shoot, what is it?... pipe cleaner.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm. Oh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [unintelligible] pipe cleaner, paper butterflies, pa-paper hearts and pa- uh, used paper clips...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...and wrote their names on the... on the card there. It was... a nice little gesture.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: For, you know, appreciation and the fact that I was shar-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, that was very nice for you to do that and for them to thank you like that.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: How about sending me a copy of your publication... of your Sonichu Girls?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: What was that again?

<font color="#545454">Bob: About sending me a copy.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I might join. I guess I'd have to change my...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: -gender, wouldn't I?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: How would you feel about your dad being a Sonichu Girl?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Now...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: He could be a... he could be an honorary Sonichu Guy.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: How about that?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, that'll work.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You gotta tell me what's going on.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: You don't know what's going on.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [laughs]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: It's basically girl chatter amongst the four of us, right?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

Girls (0:59:26–1:05:21)
<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I-I like to see the girls talk. I listened to girls talk a lot back in high school because I have my wide circle of gal-pals...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...between my high-school years and also my elementary-school years. And also I didn't live my young life. In my neighborhood I was pretty much the only guy in the neighborhood.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Well then, lucky for you.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [laughs]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: All the other guys are jealous.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. [pause] Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: My favorite girl, I guess, on the TV – aside from your mother, who's not on TV – my favorite girl.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Shirley Temple?

<font color="#545454">Bob: No, that was back when I was a kid [inaudible]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, but you do like Shirley Temple a lot.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And uh, uh this is one that's on uh... MSNBC if you watch that. On the NBC Money channel.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Name is Erin Burnett. She is a smart girl. She hosts a lot of it. She's been...already been to Russia and Asia already. She must be...no more than 25? She is very smart. She impresses me, she's a really smart girl. Not a brunette, [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I don't know about [inaudible]. Flakey blondes.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Do you like blondes?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I like blondes. But, you know, it's so... that's so stereotypical...

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yes.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...to call 'em flakey cause they're not all flakey.

<font color="#545454">Bob: No, they're not. No way.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Like you know Pamela Anderson is very smart.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah... [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...just to name one at least. She wrote the book, Star.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. Paris Hilton also wrote a book, too.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Have you ever read that?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No I no-I haven't even heard of it.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, yeah. She wrote her own book.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: That's cool. [pause] I think Britney Spears wrote a book too, didn't she?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. Britney Spears is really smart. Even though people like, diss her blah blah blah saying, but she's pretty intelligent.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. So anyway, there you go. Three blondes, right there, that are sexified [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hmm... I guess that's why he would be uh, he would-it's one reason he was attracted to my mom, is she reminds him of Marcie, you know?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I guess she kind of turned him off being Marcie-ish,

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: being a Marcie type yourself. I mean...

<font color="#545454">Bob: She looked like Liz Taylor then.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Everybody thought she was Liz Taylor.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. By the way, uh Emily, how old did you say you were again?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I'm nineteen.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Nineteen.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: OK.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I started hi- I started college.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, you started college as a journalist.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. Something I'd like- I don't want to really, you know, go for a degree where, you know, I won't be happy with it.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. [pause]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] No, you keep writing...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Then you look at it, and put it down for a day or two.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Then you decide [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: There's a... in my creative writing class what we do sometimes is that we write one line each day for a story, and just, every day we just write a different line, and eventually like after maybe a month or two, you know, it's supposed to be a story.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] But then, you pick it up and lay it down, you pick it up and look at it again...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...and each time you little minute corrections.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Mild corrections. But that's the way to do it. And if you don't try, you don't-you don't gain nothing [unintelligible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You gotta keep trying. You know, you don't give up... who knows, some crazy bear might come along and call you "Christian."

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [laughs] What?

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] silly bear might come along and call you "Christian," right?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. [pause] No, I don't think so. I don't think a-I don't think a British bear could confuse "Emily"...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. I don't-there's no other name that really sounds like Emily.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] there was a writer named Emily.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Emily Dickinson?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, Emily Dickinson.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I couldn't even remember...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I just slipped- it just came up. That was the only Emily I could think of who was a writer at the time.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: There's probably a lot of Emilys I'm sure.

<font color="#545454">Bob: His mother keeps tellin' me- [Chris talks over him]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: His mother keeps tellin' me I got more dibs though [unintelligible].

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Emily Julia Schifflet.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yep.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: That's her full name, Dad.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Is it Schifflet?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris and <font color="#CD5555">Emily simultaneously: Yep.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well now I want you to know something. If you were in Greene County, they'd welcome you with open arms.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Because Schifflet... and what's the other name up there? Uh, two- two names basically in Greene County. One of 'em's Schifflet, and... Marks, is the other one

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And it was Marks, or Schifflet your native tongue.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Betcha got lotsa relatives up there and don't even know it.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, I have a lot of, um, a lot of family, but I don't know most of them. I stick with my parents and maybe a few aunts.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Where do they live?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: What was that again?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, where do your parents live?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, they live up in West Virginia too. They moved up there as well.

<font color="#545454">Bob: They moved up there.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mhm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] wild wonderful weather.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, they don't have...they-they wanna let me go on my own, really. [pause] [Chris talks over her]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You took a big step.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I don't trust them, either.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] we've been to a lot of parks. I keep telling him now that he's young and I'm old, and why don't he take me to the park?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh!

<font color="#545454">Bob: He-he won't do it.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [clears throat]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Listen to him.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I think it ought to be ['inaudible'']

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [high-pitched] Do you agree with that?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I spent twenty-seven years of my life with you, why can't you spend twenty-seven years of your life with me?

Basketball and a fateful trip (1:05:23–1:14:22)
<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Because, [unintelligible]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I'm not gonna live that long, I know.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [awkward laugh]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I spend time with you, Dad. Like I spend time with you now when you [inaudible] wanted to meet Emily. Before uh, you know, when you leave, uh, leave-leave us alone and let us do our talking.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] go home and watch some basketball.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That's something to do right there.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah. And I'll see what's goin' on...[inaudible] the NCAA.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don't watch a lot of sports, really.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] You don't watch that either?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don't really watch sports. I mean, I sometimes will with some of my friends, but I can't really get into it.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, and I was actually a manager-slash-waterboy in my freshman year of Man-at Manchester High School's varsity basketball team.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Were you good at it? Did you say you were- you played basketball?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, a little bit.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Are you good?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, I'm fair.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: But, you know I was...I-pl-...y-you know my freshman year I manager and waterboy for the varsity basketball team.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

[P.A. system faintly in background]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Good, cause I think I'm gonna go home.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Alright, dad, well you have a safe trip.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You can do whatever you want, I guess.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Alright.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Whatever time Emily wants to spend with you.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, I can't stay too much longer. I have to get going back to co-

<font color="#545454">Bob: Headin' back to West Virginia tonight?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yep.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You are, huh? What is the drive... four-hour, five-hour drive?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: About five-hour drive.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I'm a little too old for that.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [short laugh]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, especially since I was young [unintelligible] the eight-hour round trip total drive.

<font color="#545454">Bob: He-he drove to Cleveland and back on the same day.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I...vaguely heard about that. What-what happened?

<font color="#545454">Bob: He got stupid and drove up there to try to meet somebody and they weren't there. He took off and we didn't even know about it.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No, I left them a note.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, OK.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But, uh, he got up there and got back, same day. I can't imagine driving... I can't even fly to Cleveland and fly back in the same day.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Di-did you have a good drive at least? Was it...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: ...relaxing a little bit?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah [inaudible]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, if you went-he went up from here over to pick up the Interstate 81, and he went up and picked up the Pennsylvania Turnpike...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...and he went up and picked up the Ohio Turnpike... and locked himself out of his car.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: How did you lock yourself out of your car?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I [inaudible] my keys in there at the t-toll booth.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh? How did you get them out? You had to call like the locksmith or something?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh, fortunately, uh, one of the uh, people at-people over at that toll booth had AAA.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, OK. So they were able to help you out.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] mother [inaudible] cross the street [inaudible] here he is at the Ohio state line.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: W-we didn't sleep very well that day.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I can imagine.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Finally he got home, about three o'clock in the morning, and he left at, what...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Five-thirty.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Six o-Six o'clock in the morning?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Five-thirty.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] find anybody till we came back.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Well, at least I didn't get killed.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah. I think I [inaudible]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] We were worried about that.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Hm-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I had money for gas and food.

<font color="#545454">Bob: He's never driven over fifty miles out of town before.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Well that was an adventure for me.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Bet that was an experience.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yep. But I had my PSP with me to play uh, music on the trip. I had a novel with uh, long driving. Recently [unintelligible] paradise.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Fortunately, he was checking in with us on his cell phone, every once in a while so we could [inaudible] money...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, so you knew he was going to O-Ohio.

<font color="#545454">Bob: He left us a note.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...detailed note.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: With maps and everything.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: A copy of the map...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...I got from Mapquest.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] he left-you'll never believe it, when he left home he had about ten dollars in his pocket.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No, I had-I had forty.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I had forty dollars. I had forty dollars plus ten dollars in my pocket. Forty dollars came from my birthday money.

<font color="#545454">Bob: That wouldn't even-that wouldn't even take care of the toll [inaudible] turnpike.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I didn't expect that toll to be eleven dollars.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Really? Eleven dollars for a toll booth?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah. Th-th-they give you a card at one checkpoint, then when you get to the next checkpoint, depending on the distance-depending on uh, how far it was from that checkpoint...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, OK.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...from one tollbooth to the next.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Wherever you get off, then you gotta pay.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, OK.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You'd never been-never been on a toll road before.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah that was a new ex-that was something new for me to learn.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [unintelligible] for a toll booth with about a dollar. [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well you can get on and fill it out, and drive all the way to the Ohio line.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Pittsburgh. I guess they charge you twenty, twenty-five dollars for that.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Dang.

<font color="#545454">Bob: But he got on in the middle, in a place called Breezewood.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: You've probably heard of Breezewood. It's up there... just-just northeast of uh, West Virginia.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: And, uh, yeah and you go to Breezewood and hang a left. I thought he-I thought he was up here in the valley.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Couple hundred miles away and then he was at the Ohio state line.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [short laugh]

<font color="#545454">Bob: That was some day for us. We were a little worried. Then he-then he started back. We were led to believe that he was about three hundred -about two hundred miles away.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Turns out he was just outside of Ohio, Cleveland, when he called.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: At least you were able to get back safely.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yep.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I don't know how he did it. Three o'clock in the morning, I'd have been numb. I wouldn't have been able to.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [laughs]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [inaudible] at night.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, well I got bet-I got better eyesight than he does.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] mine keeps going downhill, little bit at a time.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Thing called old age and glaucoma.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, plus consi-plus considering video games... training, a lot of video game time I've logged in over my lifetime.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And uh, see going through the many types of, like, games, playing racing, and RPG...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: ...and all, and the adventures and all that...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: But it's like, it's only helpful when you have the directions from Mapquest, and uh, you can uh, find a world map of the uh, east-of the we-of the eastern coast of the United States.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Which is really Virginia. And uh, Ohio in the road I was- the route I was taking, it was directed from that.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Which I highlighted with a blue marker.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I have to admit, I did something just about as dumb when I was a kid.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh, you did something dumb?

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah I did. Well, I'd already been to Korea and back. When I was in Korea, like I said, before the Korean War.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And I'd always spent my time with the army, well I was in school.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And I had a friend that was in Auburn, down in Alabama, way down there, you know.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And um, I had a friend [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#545454">Bob: ...in the Army. So, Christmas break, Christmas time, right. I didn't have anywhere to go. I decided to hitchhike.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah. While I was in the Army, I spent nine months in New York anyway.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] Fort [???] [inaudible] and I'd gone up to New York City every weekend. But, for about nine months, well I knew the place like the back of my hand.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Mm-hmm.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No wonder I was risky enough to take a- I was adventurous enough to take such a trip.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Uh-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Yeah, so dumb me, I thought I could hitchhike to-to New Jersey...now this was like the middle of December.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Warm in Alabama but not in New Jersey.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: I got there, and then I had to stay a couple weeks-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [interrupting] And by the way you know

<font color="#545454">Bob: -then I ran out of money-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You know that-

<font color="#545454">Bob: -and then I had to try to-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [inaudible]

<font color="#545454">Bob: -find-to fi-to get back to my way home.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Just to let you know, uh, went up to Cleveland, [inaudible] kind of like, uh, run down. I thought, Jersey probably looks better.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: By comparison.

<font color="#545454">Bob: I've done dumb things too.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [inaudible]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: There you go.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: He went to a bad town...he went to a bad slummy town called Jersey, I went to a bad slummy town called Cleveland.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well I've been to Cleveland too, I know Cleveland well.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, well...

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I me-I me-I mean he took the stupid long trip to Jersey, I took the stupid long trip to see Cleveland.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And I was hitchhiking and you were in the car. It was different. It used to be safe to walk.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh.

<font color="#545454">Bob: And you can't even hitchhike places today.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Nowadays you can't do that.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: [inaudible] down the road.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah [unintelligible] [laughs]

<font color="#545454">Bob: [laughs]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Well, I'll see you later. You have a good trip.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Alright.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Alright.

<font color="#545454">Bob: Don't go to sleep. If you get sleepy, pull over.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: OK, don't worry, I will.

A walk to remember (1:14:23–1:21:43)
[Chris and Emily awkwardly leave Bob who continues to ramble as they clomp off through the mall.]

<font color="#545454">Bob: Take care.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Alright come on, Emily, let's, let's walk…

[Bob babbles on about sending something.]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Okay... okay, you can show me around the mall…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Okay! Here's our… heights… You… you come to just about my uh, eyeline.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [nervous tittering]

[They walk quietly for a moment as Chris mutters something quietly.]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [sigh] So where you li… where do you usually like to go shopping at when you're at a shopping center?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [impatiently] Clothes stores.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, uh, they have a number of clothing stores in, uh...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: …a J.C. Penney and a Sears, among other places that uh, more name brands…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah a lot of the stores here are, if you take a look, take a look at the prices and they're pretty expensive.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... Yeah... but, you know, they used to ha- they used to have a KB Toys here and I- that's where I did my- ten thous- dol... my thousand dollar shopping spree I won, uh... back in, uh... the... Sonic, the Adventures- around the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: That sweepstakes, you might have remembered me talking about that…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: …you might remember that, uh, news clip…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah! I've seen-I've seen it.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah...

[Chris nervously takes a few steps.]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Wow.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: What?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You're like… I'm sorry.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [nervous laughter]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I'm just kinda fascinated like… you're just pleasant- it's like… a character from PGSM or somebody else came all the way from Japan- just leapt out of my television!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [nervous laughter] No I'm definitely all American.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: You're all American.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, I'm an all American.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Okay- so it's just- it's just your eyes that are deshe- decepting.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah... [shameless subject change] So what's your favorite store here?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah it's, it's- currently, since they took away the toy store- uh- either- I think it's- I would say it's mostly GameStop, but I also go to the bookstore or Sears, or even the Spencer's that's down on the other side of the mall. And they used to have an FYE here, which was a Suncoast before- before- they all merged and became an FYE, but then they closed that to make the next [unintelligible] business here.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: What's down the other way… cause I've been… I came down this way, but I haven't been down that way.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Okay, we'll go down that way! Alright. I hope- Hope you don't mind me sticking around your left side…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [bravely] Oh that's [laughs] Okay, that's fine!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [chuckles] I mean, I guess I should keep my hands to myself and behave, right?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, you should probably do that.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [nervous laughter]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: But, you know, not- but you know I'm respectful- touch you gently on the shoulder or the back-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [vomitously] Yeah…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I mean at least I'm not that guy from InuYasha that… [chucklingly] always tries to go for the bum.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [vomitously] Yeah…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Heh-heh, that's funny. Always get slapped in the face, he does.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I forget his name, I think it's Mamoru, or something like that.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh... it's Miroku.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [talking over her] Do you watch InuYasha? Yeah, Miroku, that was it, you hi- you actually hit it on the head right there…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

[Emily awkwardly walks several steps.]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [delaying] Is that the… food court there?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah that's basically the food court.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: OK...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah it use- it used to have McDonald's here-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: …soooo many years ago across from the GameStop there, back when it was called Babbage's…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And then between them and Suncoast was FuncoLand and Software Etc. and they all merged into a Ga- they all merged into GameStop.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... never heard about that…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... I'm sh- I'm sh- I'm sure you must've at least noticed those game stores back in your youth-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah... I play video games sometimes, but not very often…

<font color="#000000">Salesman: HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE HARAAGARALABHGH.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, no thank you!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No thank you! Yeah... right over- see- where that PacSun, that's where PacSun used to be, where I met Anna McLerran-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh yeah... I've… I've heard of her as well…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Is she still around?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No she, uh- moved to uh, Utah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Utah…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: She's a Mormon. I later found that out after I met her. But we cam- but we- but we could became good friends and I gave her, uh, you know, gave her a going away/birthday party before she left for Utah…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Uh-huh!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: On her twentieth birthday… and actually her- actual- and actually her friends, uh, her friends and I got together and put together the party. [emphatically] I k- I bought the cake.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, that's nice of you… and… there was also Megan. Do you still keep in contact with her?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah uh... no, not-no-n-n-not... haven't been in touch with her for a long time.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Ever since she moved to another state.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... did she move to Utah too?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh, no, I don't think she moved to Utah, I don't even remember where she moved to.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: But you know, sometimes, uh, y'know... sometimes I dream I'm back- [unintelligible] I'm back in uh, Manchester High, you know, I get to see all my- all my old s- c- all my old friends… there.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Sometimes I even see Megan and John in there… John's her brother…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, okay...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Can you believe that, attending Manchester High like I was back then,

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [small laughter]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: …but yet they never went- they never been- they never been to Manchester High, neither of them. Isn't that… kinda funny?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [slightly sarcastically] Yeah... that is kinda funny!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... FYE was over there…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... I guess it's becoming a LensCrafters?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, I guess… anyway here's the Spencer's.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: If you like looking at the, uh, naughty stuff-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [quickly] No, I'm not into that.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Not yet anyway! [laughs]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [nervous laughter]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Ah, but you might. But you know, it's mostly humorous, anyway.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah... well... doesn't look like there's anything down here…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... not much… not much to look at. The- the toy store was around here in this neck of the woods…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... well I gotta get going soon, it's gonna be a long drive!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Long drive…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Well I hope, uh, you at least, uh, keep the memories, uh, we've shared…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, I'll walk you to your car, if you want…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: No, I'll probably have to go to the bathroom first… it's that time of the month…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, when you're on your, uh, period…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah... [nervous laughter]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, you know, aside from the, uh, first time, uh, meeting, this first meeting, uh, how do you feel about me? In general…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: You're a really nice guy!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Thank you…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don't know why like, people pick on you and all that…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, they should get to know me in person…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I mean I'm a gentleman, I behave… behave…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [steering the beast] Have you been into any of these stores over here?

Meet the Pickle (1:21:44–1:25:29)
<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [indistinct] Hey, remembered to pick you up right here.[?] Yeah, so, um, you wouldn't want to go see Watchmen, would you?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uh... no.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I haven't seen that movie.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [shocked] Uh... any particular reason why you're dressed up like that?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Not in particular.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Come on, Emily.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: What?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Hey, hey, maybe the lady wants to go with me. Huh, ya want to go see Watchmen? Lots of, uh...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [gloating] Why, what's wrong?

[At this point, you can hear "Whenever You Need Somebody" by Rick Astley playing over the mall speakers in the background.]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: The man in the pickle suit… a- it's apparent this guy's amongst the… trolls.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: 'Scuse me?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: What's a tro…

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [inaudible]

<font color="#000000">Passerby: Who are you?

<font color="#000000">Passerby: Sir… sir, what are you?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: I'm a pickle.

<font color="#000000">Passerby: You're a pickle! I love pickles.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Yeah? Pickles are pretty cool.

<font color="#000000">Passerby: And who are you advertising with?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: I'm not really advertising.

<font color="#000000">Passerby: You're just dressed up as a pickle?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Just bored.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Dressed as a pickle to HAUNT ME.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Excuse me? I don't even know you.

<font color="#000000">Passerby: You're just bored?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Yep!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [questioningly] You don't even know me… are you sure… have you-do you have Internet access?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Lots of people have Internet access.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Do you know Sonichu and Rosechu?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: No, I do not.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Do you know about Encyclopedia Dramatica?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: No, I do not. [turning to Emily] Want to go see Watchmen?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [stress sighs] No, no, no, she's with-

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Alright!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: …she's h- she's headed over to- she's heading back to her home town.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Uh, Watchmen would be pretty cool.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, it would be pretty cool!

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, alright, uh...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Let's go see it!

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Okay, cool.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [to Emily as they turn to leave together] You've probably seen Watchmen [he refers to the novel], haven't you?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [answering the question meant for Emily as he is clearly left behind] I've heard of Watchmen…

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [laughs at Chris]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah!

[Rick Astley is audible in the background again]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [inaudible, but clearly saying something to the effect that he doesn't like the Pickle Man]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [gloating] What's wrong with him?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: SOMETHING. You like pickles?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah... I do not like pickles.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: No pickles?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: And also particularly a guy in a pickle suit who tricked me on the Internet pretending that he was Blanca!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: There's nothing wrong with him!

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Who's Blanca?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [stress sighs/grunts]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: There's nothing wrong with him! See, he's a nice guy.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Well, alright. [small voiced, stressed as he moves closer to Emily]

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: I-I think you're making the lady a little-uncomfortable there, Chris.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [stress sighs] I'm sorry, Emily.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: It's ok... I think I have… to go to the bathroom now…

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, go change my tampon.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh boy. [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [inaudible] …but I guess I do now.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [attempting to brush him off] OK, well it was nice meeting you… maybe we'll talk online or something.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah well… I kinda… [inaudible]

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [as they continue trying to walk away] Well, we're going to go now.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah well…

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I'm going to the bathroom.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, uh, either of- [to Pickle Man] you're not going where she's going…

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Uh, we're- we're leaving together.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Are you with her?

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Now we are. We're going to go see Watchmen.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: No! N- no! She's going b- you gotta go back to West Virginia, don't you.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: We're going to go see Watchmen first.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I'm kinda- just- gonna- Watchmen is not that long of a movie.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [suddenly concerned for Emily] Yeah, but you got a five-hour drive!

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [dismissively] It'll be okay.

[footsteps]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Hmmm.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Going this way?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, I gotta go to the bathroom. Tampon time.

[Pickle Man asks Chris a question]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Uhhhhhh... no.

[''The Pickle Man and Chris indistinctly carry on a short dialogue. The Pickle Man seems to be asking Chris why he is following along, and Chris replies.'']

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: I'm just staying close to my friends...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Alright, see ya!

Hiding out in the bathroom (1:25:29–1:29:34)
[There is a long lacuna as Emily hides from Chris in the bathroom.]

<font color="#000000">Passerby: [inaudible]...very fashionable looking.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, thank you!

<font color="#000000">Passerby: The mall should pay you for walking around.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

[Another long silence as Emily finally leaves the bathroom.]

A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)
<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: So, you ready to go?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah, my car's that way.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Okay.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, her car's… Your car's [inaudible] didn't you?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah, so did I.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh, you did?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Which Belk?

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Tha- that way.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... I'm over there.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Oh. [continues walking alongside Pickle Man and Emily]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Chris… you don't need to walk me to my car.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Okaaay.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: This is… Alright.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: So, you have yourself a safe trip back to uhh... West Virginia.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Oh... [feigning cheerfulness] okay! I might call you on Skype later.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Okay, you take care.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: You too.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Hey… [attempts to hug and kiss Emily]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [tries to avoid Chris] No…N-

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [talks over Emily] I-I was gonna kiss... just on the cheek...

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [Overlaps with Chris] N-no... no thank you! [nervous laughter] No thank you.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [gives up] Okay.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Alright, see you.

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: Alright, well you take care, be safe.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Alright, you too.

[Pickle Man and Emily walk away from Chris.]

<font color="#4682B4">Chris: [yelling from a distance] HE KNOWS CLYDE CASH!

[There is laughter from Pickle Man and Emily.]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughing] Mission accomplished!

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Is he gone yet?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: I don't know, let me look behind.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Oh no he's leaving... I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That's okay! [inaudible] worse than me…

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: I'm so sorry.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: That's okay.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [inaudible]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Yeah...

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Okay... [inaudible] man in the pickle suit?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs]

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: [laughing, says something about Clyde Cash]

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [laughs] Wait there… there's Frosty.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: What?

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: Looks like he's gone now. I'm gonna go tell him what happened.

<font color="#009900">Pickle Man: Okay.

<font color="#CD5555">Emily: [presumably walking to see Frosty] Yes! Still recording!