User:Lorrihed/Facebook

'''DONT FUCK WITH THIS PAGE. I'M ATTEMPTING TO FIX THE THREE FACEBOOK PAGES BUT IT'LL TAKE SOME TIME. IGNORE THIS ARTICLE TIL THIS IS GONE'''

Facebook is a social media website used to communicate online. From 2009 to 2011], Chris's use of Facebook was predominantly an aid to his [[love quest; it was revealed on 31 May 2009 that Chris was sending notes and messages to boyfriend-free girls in the area in hopes of them becoming his sweetheart. He failed horribly of course, and the Miscreants showed us how hard.

Chris's view of the website changed in 2010, when he blamed it in part for his breakup with the Wallflower, and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his departure from the Internet. Some time in mid 2011, his account was deactivated, only to return for a couple days on 5 July 2011 with a a new picture before going again.

On 2 January 2012, Chris re-opened his Facebook account. He has left occasional open notes for trolls, and due to insider knowledge we know he uses it to communicate with his few remaining gal-pals: Anna, Kim and Jackie.

In April 2012, Chris created an album full of screenshots from the CWCki Forums, proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout 2012, he still feels the need to obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis. As of 28 May 2013, there are 93 pictures in this album.

Statuses
Main Page Facebook statuses "Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome and playin' his videogame."

- Chris, January 2008

"I feel real lonely. Please help me"

- Chris, May 2012. Some things never change

Throughout Chris's time on Facebook, he has made a lot of inane comments. The majority of them revolve around Chris's self pity, but the highlights are below. Many of Chris's statuses are about his heart level, or his loneliness. As they progress, they become more aggressive, blaming his friends for not finding him a sweetheart or spending more time helping him. '''I'm planning on having one of those scroll-through quote box thingies you see a lot on ED here, or bullet points of important statuses. But for either I need the statuses to be in text format not image format, which may take a fucking time'''

Messages
Main Page Facebook messages

Chris originally used Facebook as a place to pick up chicks. During the hack on 31 May 2009, it was discovered Chris had been speaking to several people, including:
 * A 17 year old girl on probation. Chris, being the gentleman he is, said he'd wait at least until she was 18 before taking it further
 * A single mother. Once finding out she didn't fit the sweetheart requirements, he asked her to help find someone who did.
 * A JERK warning him to stay away from a girl.

FIX THIS - SOURCES ETC

ON DATE HERE, messages between Chris and "Savannah Chandler" were leaked. Many found Chris's language towards his teenage niece to be inappropriate. The leak revealed that Bob's other Children are truly estranged from the residents at 14 Branchland Court, one message tells of a time when Bob and Chris had to leave presents out on the porch because "nobody was in".

iOS
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone. On 19 May 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one would assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement (never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost), he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before (which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens). According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology. Many of his more recent photos appear to have been taken with these iOS devices.

Imgur
On 26th May, 2013, Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and he quickly revealed the reason why: somebody on his Friends List had screencapped all of his Facebook status updates (including the ones that were hidden) and uploaded them on Imgur. The screenshots not only revealed a lot of what Chris was going through between 2011 and 2013 (as well as a deluge of posts complaining about how lonely he was) but also revealed a very dark side about Chris as well - several photos revealed that he wanted several people dead, and one post in particular demanded that somebody kill Mimms' girlfriend.

The biggest irony of it all is that the one who exposed all of this previously unknown (and very unsavory) information was Chris himself.