For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV



For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV is a video leaked 21 April 2010 for Jackie in which Chris demonstrates how he would pleasure her orally and reveals his sports bra, showing off his creepiness on a level not seen since the Ivy saga.

Chris, wearing a new shirt bearing a message contradictory to his claims that he is not a homo, begins by apologizing to Jackie for introducing her to the CWCki (perhaps seeking to avoid another Wallflower incident) and trying to explain what he believes happened with Ivy and Vanessa Hudgens. Chris attempts to sound sincere but, as always, fails miserably. Things only go from bad to worse as Chris demonstrates how he would "pleasure" her orally; Chris's voice gets noticeably more excited as he explains this. This, unfortunately, goes on for a good minute. At one point, Chris seems to forget who he's talking to and refers to Jackie as Ivy. Chris ends the video by explaining how he has a belly and man-boobs - he seems slightly more willing to admit this fact than he did back in Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke - and reveals that he wears a sports bra.

Chris, in a surprising move, did not upload the video to YouTube but instead used MediaFire. He believes this will keep anyone from getting a hold of the video, neglecting the idea that Jackie herself would circulate it.

It has surpassed CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!! as one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology.

Video
"I'm gonna show you some ways on how I can pleasure you orally, mkay?"

Transcript
Hey, Jackie, it's me Christian. I'm doing this video for you 'cause upload to th- da MediaFire. Hopefully uh, trolls will not get that to there. I mean, yeah, I have not tried MediaFire f- before. But, yeah, I do have a friend that recommends it as well, so, for you I'll try it.

[Removes glasses, rubs the bridge of his nose]

Well, first half of the video though uh, yeah, let me apologize for uh, yeah, that thing I- for even leading you to the CWCki. I just wanted to let you know 'bout what happened to me before. I just felt concerned about that, but- and then with that uh, reading what you read on Ivy's page, yeah, I was wrong. I forgot one detail of that- that detail. Yeah, it was uh- supposedly I was talking to uh, this Vanessa Hudgens, who was like coming onto me really- really well online and I had- I held in with my self-restraint as best as I could. For a long time. And then she's kinda, talked me into it a little bit.

[A digital tone goes off] Ignore that. [Gets up and turns it off, returns to chair] Eh, that's my cell phone. Hmm. Let me just talk care of that real quick. [holds up cell phone, apparently silences or turns it off] Anyway uh, yeah. I did make a video apologizing to Ivy for that, at least, you know, I could man up and admit when I made such a mistake as that. And that was in the past. And I'm sorry- did not mean to- I did not mean to lie to you, I swear. I jus- I just forgot that one detail.

Anyway, as for that, uh, the quote-unquote Vanessa Hudgens actually this- was actually in reality this uh Spanish dude I know, Joshua Martinez. Yeah, jus- just- he was- he was just basi- he was- he was pretending to be Vanessa that whole time and... [sigh, Chris's face becomes noticeably distraught] Really ticks me off, that guy. Ehh, nother-nother- that's another story for another day though. Hmm. But anyway with that put aside uh [perks up a little] I'm gonna show you- I'm gonna show you some ways on how I can pleasure you [eyes widen] orally, mmkay?

[Shifts in chair] Yeah, I got a few ideas like you know, we definitely [lifts hand into frame, fidgets] give you some finger play. Lots of fingers. But yeah, I would just- yeah. I could be like [Leans towards the camera, closes eyes, and flicks white-coated tongue around, making slobbering and smacking noises all the while.] Ahh, I lick your pretty little clit there. [''Continues to pantomime sex acts. Slobber. Smack.] Tickle your pussay... [Indicates this with a gesture nowhere near the supposed area.''] Oh! And here's the fun part, I put my- I can roll my tongue. I put- I push- I put it in there [Leans forwards, sticks out tongue] and extend it while it's in there. Can you imagine that? [More tongue fail, leans back in chair] I got other ideas as well, but I just can't think of them right now. But hopefully that's now good enough for starters and to make up for that.

Any- ah, I hhave been under confusion pat- for a little while, but seriously, Ivy, I really do want you. [Firmer, failing to realize his Freudian slip] I want you. And I do love you and I care about you, and I pray that this video does not fall into the hands of the trolls. You let me know once you got it downloaded successfully and that you're able to play it and I'll take it off of the MediaFire.

[Brow furrows, whisper] Oh, my gosh. [normally] I gotta watch myself. And also uh, another thing to make up for this uh, hmm, I'll reveal another thing about myself. I actually did- I actually uh, do have a bit of a belly, but uh also with that uh [grabs manboobs] manboobs. I'm not- I'm not t- I'm telling you this in the strictest confidence that you will not laugh at me, but when I walk they do bounce, so I have to uh [Strips off "Mount and Do Me" shirt to reveal sports bra] so I wear a sports bra. [Adjusts sports bra] Works very good, keeps 'em from bouncing. I got- I'm a 42-bust. Alright, well, I hope we can- hopefully we can move on, and resume our relationship with emotions, or otherwise restart it. I love you, Jackie. Love you. [makes kissing motion, then reaches for camera] Talk to you later. Meet up soon. [video abruptly ends]