JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV

JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV was a video leaked on 8 August 2010. In the video we see Chris, standing in the bathroom at his local Goodwill with what appears to be his PaRappa shirt on his head.

History
In May 2010, Chris attempted to join the CWCki as "JenkinsJinkies". After he wrote the bizarre Coffee Place article, he was fooled into thinking he'd become a legendary troll and invited to join the "inner circle" at Trollin Train. As part of the application process, he was required to make a video stating why he hated Chris, mention some nefarious trollings he'd done, and pledge allegiance to Clyde Cash.

It should be noted that Chris apparently thought that doing his impression (in lieu of digital distortion, as per the example video) and putting a shirt on his head would be enough to convince trolls that he was a fourteen-year-old boy.

"I've performed my own voice-check with my DSi's Voice-Recording Program; I've found the best method to completely change my voice is to go deep, and also pucker my lips while I spoke. It really worked."

- Chris on the making of this video.

Transcript
[Chris attempting to disguise his voice but only succeeding in sounding like someone doing a shitty Trump impression]

To- For Clyde Cash, and for everybody else on the CWC-kii... I hate Christian Weston Chandler because...he is a lazy slob, the money is wasted on him, he doesn't have to work for his money, damn that- damn him! And also, he is not friendly to us males! He should be friendly to us males. It makes me- it really ticks me OFF. [Grunt.]

[A PA announcement is heard in the background.] Anyway, I have been trolling him... I sent him nice e-mails in the beginning when I started reading in- reading the comics...and, uh, then he did not reply, so then I sent him a bunch of curses, and then I pretended to be...you know, a whole bunch of other companies like that and such; (rushed) obviously he deleted my emails, but that's beside the point. Anyway, [raises right hand and briefly slips out of character, doing his best two finger cub scout sign] I pledge my allegiance to Clyde Cash [lowers hand] and everybody else at the CWCki of getting the information on Christian Weston Chandler.

I'm sorry I have been taking so long in doing this, but I was just getting settled in, into my new home across the street from his house. Black sheep of the family. They live in that house and they promise not to tell my family back up in Boston. But of course, you know also, I ha- I have, uh, trolled him, I found him over at the Burger King on the way back to Boston from South Virginia. As I have created the famous Burger King page.

Thanks very much; Clyde Cash, you rule.

[walks offscreen]