Speed Sewing Announcement

Speed Sewing Announcement, followed by 90 minutes of sewing, are videos of Chris attempting to repair The Classic shirt. He had promised that the shirt would be restored after a successful eBay sale. In the meantime, he consulted a tailor, who turned down the job. Chris then took it upon himself to sew together the holes in the shirt.

The winning bidder of the shirt, who had won it on eBay for $25,100, did not pay. Chris, still hoping to be paid, moved onto the second-highest bidder, who had placed a bid of $25,000.

Prelude
In this video, Chris announces that he will record a series of videos of himself repairing the The Classic shirt, which he promises to speed up in editing before uploading to YouTube—Chris does not do this and instead uploads the videos in their entirety. Staying true to his Random-access humor, Chris blurts out, "where are my pupils?". Despite this being essentially set-up as an advertisement for the shirt, Chris, in Classic-Chris fashion, wipes his greasy face with the already damaged shirt on camera.

Lucy makes a brief appearance at the end.

"Apparently too big of a project for a tailor to mend, so I'm personally going to do it myself"

Transcript
Hello this is Christine Chandler comin' to you live from home once again. For my star date for now it's uh- 04292017, I just glanced at my calendar over there. Where are my pupils in relation to this flickin'(?) camera lens, and my hair's tied behind my back, tied in a bun (gestures to hair, which is not tied in a bun) whatever. Because I'm about to start on the big project. Y'all know- Are very well aware of my shirt. The iconic shirt, yeah needs a lot mending, repair, yeah.

[Wipes sweat off face with the shirt]

It's ah, to- Apparently too big of a project for a tailor to mend, so I'm personally going to do it myself. Uh, unfortunately s- I had not received my payment from the highest bidder, and since uh, time ran short, until I hear from uh- Unless she pays before I hear from the new bidder I'll have the uh new- The new lower bidder down of which I have whom of which I've contacted uh- he pays. You know, the whole amount or in payments, that's between me and him. Anyway, so uh, because mother got her money for a little while I'm gonna pretty much take it to my- Myself. I got materials I need like, I got a pin cushion, some pins, quarter cut fabrics, that was a blessing, and thread. All three colors, red ,white and navy blue. And, this is just to wipe my face with because I'm feelin' a little sweaty right now.

[Wipes face with an actual cloth this time]

It's 90 degrees out here somewhere. And of course, card stock paper to put under the sleeves for that part. I've t- I've gotten the idea from a few of the- A few videos I looked up on YouTube for mending holes and sh- And clothing. Anyway so, pretty much I'm gonna do a montage along the way of uh, mending the shirt, recording that on my phone at least. Um so this is just the intro, I'll put this at the beginning of that final video which I believe we can call it a speed sew video, which hopefully I'll be able to speed up the process after recording it. And now it's cat video. Hi Lucy, pretty kitty happy kitty love you too sweetie. Alright so anyway stay tuned and uh, in about a fe- About a few weeks hopefully I'll have this shirt as best mended as possible cuz I've- I've got a lot of needle skills from throughout my num- My numerous art classes I've taken ou- throughout my lifetime. Okay have a good day, thank you and then after this thing gets touched enjoy the show.

Part 1
Twenty-two minutes of Chris silently attempting to repair The Classic. His television is on the entire time, playing My Little Pony. At then end, Chris gives up, giving a weak thumbs-up to the camera as he sighs, "Well, it's a start anyway..."

Part 2
Despite having 04302017 in the title, Chris uploaded this video on 1 May 2017.

Part 3
Despite having 04302017 in the title, Chris actually uploaded this video on 2 May 2017.

Part 4
Despite having 04302017 in the title, Chris uploaded this video on 2 May 2017.

Part 5
Despite having 05012017 in the title, Chris uploaded this video on 2 May 2017.

There is one notable reaction of Chris in this video (9:45): [sigh]) I changed my mind... [sigh] I don't think I'm getting smarter from this--and that's that--I'm gonna turn on Frasier... mm-alright, Frasier. Pfff".'' Based on the dialogue, Chris was watching a Japanese anime called "Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt".