100 2281

"You think about dat, you jive-ass turkey!"

- Chris

100 2281 is a video Chris uploaded on 15 October 2010. In it, he shows us how he acts when drunk, guzzling down Kahlúa with great abandon, mocking Jackie's ex Lars and dressing up and speaking like a "a parody of the current young black dude."

Jackie had to persuade Chris to do this as he had blown most of his monthly budget in ten days and was reluctant to buy Kahlúa on top of that.

Note that this video takes place in Chris's kitchen, and visible in the background is the Christmas tree seen in the Tour of Chris's House in March 2009.

Video
"I loves my woman, and I loves the pussy."

Transcript
[''Chris is sitting down in front of the computer in his family's kitchen. He has a colorful bandana wrapped around his head, and holds a bottle of Kahlúa coffee liqueur in his right hand. He appears to be trying to act like a niggo, and ends up looking like a drunk fuck.'']

Hey, yo, Lars m'man, wud on th' street y'is... Y'all... buh- Word on the street here is, y'all trying to ju- mi-, tryin' to misjudge me wit' dat dang old jivin' lingo dat the trolls been using. You calling me a god-dang yomosettsual, I tell you what, bro, that ain't the truth. I'm straight, man, I was born straight. I loves my woman, and I loves the pussy.

[He takes a swig from the bottle, then winces and grimaces before returning to his rant.]

And this aka-chaka coffee ya drink, huh... Tell you what, if that be... If that was considered equivalent to an aka-chaka milk, I tell ya, that's jive, man. And then y'all drank, y'all drank, man... [He waves the bottle towards the camera.] You drivin'! You jivin'!

I mean, if you haddita, I mean... C'mon man, you go and dang...[brief pause]...go put your boats over Jackie like dat. Dat's straight down, yo. [Gives two thumbs down.] Thuuuumbs down. You ain't got nuthin', bro. You got nuthin'. So quit trying to win Jackie back with them got-dang lies those trolls come up with. You know what? That just makes you one of them. And they be trollin' you back. They troll you back, dawg.

[Chris pauses again.]

You think about that. You think about dat, you jive-ass turkey!

[He reaches up and turns off the camera.]

Translation for Those Who Don't Speak Slang
Hey, Lars. I hear you're misjudging me using harsh language much like that used by trolls. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm straight and have been since birth. I love women and, therefore, love vagina. I scoff at this acacia coffee you drink. If you want to imply that my Kahlúa is an equivalent to acacia milk, well that's just false. You cared more about your boats than you cared about Jackie. You have no ammunition in this fight. I suggest you stop trying to win back Jackie's heart using the lies perpetuated by the trolls. In fact, I'd say that you were trying to be one of them, but they may just end up trolling you. Reflect on these words, good sir.