Un-clit



The Un-clit was what Chris called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with Mia Hamm. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobos. The taint is actually one of the most neglected parts of the body, and the most dirty, since it neighbors the anus. Since Chris rarely bathes himself, getting a taint piercing was a disaster waiting to happen.

After a couple of weeks, the piercing began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection." Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a safety pin. This rather predictably resulted in the migration worsening, and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, his body still rejected it and Catie eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether.

Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewelry, Chris wasted a grand total of about $200 of his monthly tugboat on this.

September 18th Facebook Status
Despite obviously violating the Community Guidelines, as well as being reported by concerned Facebook users, Facebook decided that no part of this status was considered pornographic enough to warrant being removed.

Chris appeared to have either gotten very bad advice about caring for his new piercing, or gotten good advice and ignored it. No knowledgeable body piercing provider would suggest cleaning a fresh piercing with rubbing alcohol, which is far too harsh a solvent. Chris's misguided aftercare regimen likely contributed to the piercing's rejection.

Repiercing the Un-clit
On 4 December 2014, an update was released on the CWCki Forums (now Kiwi Farms) that Chris had re-pierced his taint. The new piercing jewelry was apparently made of gold.

Re-piercing so soon after the first attempt was considered most unwise, as the first migration had had almost no time to heal, and many trolls were concerned that Chris's lack of general hygiene would lead to him risking septicemia.

Five days later, it was revealed that in addition to the new piercing, Chris was wearing a strap-on harness with the dildo removed to conceal his duck while he wore women's clothing. This raised additional concerns about the cleanliness of the pierced region.

The End of the Un-clit
"I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am giving up on that piercing now."

- Chris has finally given up on the piercing.

A message from Chris leaked on the CWCki Forums on 12 December showed that he had removed the piercing due to the "patch of skin the jewelry was in ... shrinking again" (presumably referring to another migration). He stated he would "giv[e] up" on the Un-Clit. He was deeply disappointed with this outcome, however, and on C-Mas 2014 still hoped that he could receive the gift of a "magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female." Santa seemingly did not oblige him, perhaps prompting Chris's malicious assault of a store employee on Boxing Day.

...or Is It?
On 24 July 2016, Chris announced on Facebook that he had "grown labia". At first, people thought, from the pictures Chris helpfully shared, that the migrated skin from his piercing was turning into a wound and/or an abscess. In reality, while attempting D.I.Y. gender transition surgery, he had cut his taint open with a knife.