Sonichu 7 Official Videobook

Sonichu 7 Official Videobook is a series of videos made by Chris, in which he reads and comments on Sonichu #7. He started uploading these videos on 18 September 2009.

"WEEHEE! YA-HEY!"
 * In Episode 15, the Third Date Rule is confirmed!

- Bionic


 * In Episode 16, Chris continues to deny responsibility for his actions and blames everything on 4-cent garbage.com.

Transcript
Okay, now for out next segment: Book Number Seven.

[sigh] Once again, all Sonichu material is copyright March 17, 2000, by me, Christian Weston Chandler. Any names or persons illustrated in any of the Sonichu comics except that of myself that may seen similar to anyone in real life or fiction are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. And uh, couple of characters in the issue were originally thought up by Megan Schrd- thought up or draw by Megan Schroeder.

Anyway, here is the cover of Book Number Seven. Yep, time travel episode. With all the vintage photographs in the background. I put this together myself on the computer. Here's some of the original drawings for the front cover. Ok, moving on.

Episode 15: Time for a Ball
Manchester High School, November 2nd, 2007. Hmm. Bionic is shooting baskets while Meg-uh, Meg-chan and I were, uh, hanging around and Sonichu and Magi-chan are nearby searching for next Chaotic Crystal.

Anyway, Bionic says "Ah, Meg-chan, I wanna thank you for hooking me up with Megagi. The first date was goood. We have fun and she called me for a second date. I'm happy."


 * "Well, that's no problem, Bionic, I'm glad thing are working with both of you."

And I am thinking "Ahh, Meg-chan, she is truly a sweet gal-pal. How I yearn to hug her, unfortunaly she'll only let me hold her hand now. And then, maybe time will- hmm- hmm. Oh well, I'm still happy to have her as my sweet friend."

Megagi enter-enters, and call Bionic, she says "Hey, B-hog! Are you ready for paintball and love potion? Hehe, I'm rarin' for a big mess! Maybe if you're lucky, I'll let you... kiss me at the end! Hehe!"


 * "Awwwwwwwyeaaaaah! A kiss after this date, and then after the third: WEEHEE, YA-HEY!"


 * "Come on, ten-hut!"


 * "I'm coming!"


 * "Uh, good for you, Bionic. HEH."


 * "You smell good, what is that?"


 * "Oh, just me with strawberries, hehe."

And then that just pulls me a momentary misery of reminding.


 * [thinking] Great. Remind me I'm a frustrated virgin. Why not invite Slaweel Ryam with a sledge hammer to smash my heart again?"


 * "Chris, are you ok?"

And she- and Meg-chan grabs my hand. And I am reminded that oh yeah, I have my sweet friend here.


 * "Uh, you look like you are about to cry or something. Was something in the matter?"


 * "Uh, only a minor irritation, Thank you, Meg-chan, I feel better."


 * [thinking] Oh, wow, he's closing on me be da bi duu too much! "Oh, wa, HEY! Uh, let's go see what Magi-chan and Sonichu have learned in their search! What are they doing over there?"

Heh! Heh!


 * [thinking] Aww, she had a little too much excitement, so she changed the subject! SO CUTE! She cares about me!

Meanwhile, Sonichu and Magi-chan, talking and, Sonichu has the first Chaotic Crystal, and he is saying "Well, I'm getting a strong reading from this crystal, but I don't see number five anywhere. Are you getting any psywaves of energy?"


 * "Hmm. I am detecting the energy of the next crystal, yet I'm sensing another person's Deja Vu moment. Darkbind did say the crystals are bound- are able to scatter trought space and time. It has to be in the past of this very location, the question is who came into contact with it. If we can find the person or animal who was here at that time, I can calculate the precise date and second of contact."


 * "Well, it could't been me, I may not have existed back then yet. Or around here."

So then we both come to approach them, I go "Hey guys, what's the update?"

And then Meg-chan is thinking, "Oh wow, what a mood recovery, kinda Goku-get-em attitude!"

And Sonichu tells, uh, report us "Well, Chris, we're so close! We found that the next crystal may have gone back in time. We need to locate the person who might have..."


 * "Wait, I sense something."


 * "What, Magi-chan?"


 * "Hnmmmmmmmmmmmm hnmmmmmm the vision is clearing up hmmmmmm ff eaaaah hnnmm Mighty the Armodillo being slammed away as the orange basketball player first emerged."


 * "That's it! Approximately November 13, 1996, during a scheduled basketball pratice at 2:31:29 PM, the crystal bonked Christian Weston Chandler on his head at the exact moment that locker slammed open in his imagination!"

"Wait, that's crazy! That's only a random-access guess at best!"


 * "Actually, he is correct."


 * "Uh?"


 * "Hmm. I remember being struck on my old bean, as I imagine Mighty reclining against a locker, as the situation was read from a Fear Street novel from my favorite author, R.L. Stine. That moment, at random, the locker room door slammed open, and Bionic the Hedgehog entered my world. I thought it was mistakenly thrown basketball. Hmm. This corrects my, that theory."

Anyways, yeah, I used to, I take, take, take the Sonic the Hedgehog characters and whatnot. Even sometimes myself uses characters in the stories I read'em, I read the Goosebumps books and whatnot. Even in... ah shoot, I forget the name of that other book I read that I like. Anyway.


 * "Hnm. I feel as silly as the time that I temporary gained weight, became stupid and went to watch television at Ghost Command."

And I pretty much had to library this way because I had to use someone to parody, to be a parody of Peter Griffin, but could not use his real name of character. So anyway, "Seth MacFarlane, here is a silly sketch idea for a family episode- a Family Guy episode I fully approve for you to use as see fit."

Coming up in just a moment. Right about... now.

[silly sound effects]


 * "Ehh, I gotta use the bathroom, excuse me!"


 * "Hehe, I'm the skelevision, I gotta use the can top! Uh, sorry, I got here first, this here is occupied."


 * "Ah, here is a can! Hnm. Wonder what these buttons do!"

[sound effects] [Filmation Ghostbusters Theme] Let's go, Ghostbusters! Let's go! Let's go!

Sorry, this scene was omitted- to gross and silly.

[theme continues]


 * "UAAAAH!! [PFF-PFF-PFF-PFF]


 * "OWWWW MY AXELS! I knew this weight would be too much for me one day!"


 * "Oh boy. This is not the bathroom. Oops. Ehehehe."

Anyway, back away from the scenery, that's the end of that show- bit, anyway. Moving on.


 * "That's settled, I can ensphere you, me and Sonichu, and take the three of us counter-clockwise around the world, thus sending us back in time. But we have to keep in mind that there was a change made, it can change or present and future."


 * "Hmm. I agree. But we have to get the crystal for the sake of my sis-"


 * "Erm, exucese me! Hmm. Eh, is it possible that I may keep this outfit? It's hard to find clothes that fit."


 * "Huh. Oh, sure, no, no problem, Sammy, Sam. We may need you for another sketch in the future. Anyway, I mean, if we are doing a Family Guy parody. Anyway, your medal was not only built bigger that the original, while it was painted with the- with the words on the back, it lacks the additional writings and symbols and shrinky-dinks, that there is, there, as mine does. So there is no mistaking yours for mine, so go ahead, you take care and have a safe day."


 * "Ehh, neat, thanks! I'll see you later, I'm gonna go find Peter and gonna go hanging with him for a little while. We'll go get some drinks! EHEHEHEHEH!"

Hmm. Uh? [PSHIIU] Magi-chan creates a sphere around me, Sonichu and himself. Whoa! Inside the sphere, we're, he is talking to us telepathically.

"Hmm. Viewing from the inside in, this psychic orb is invisible, and so are we three, as long as we stay within it. Sonichu, run backwars."


 * "Uh, why? Ok, why?"


 * "To revolve the sphere in reverse and go back in time."


 * "Ah! Yes sir, I'm going backwards!" [FSHIUU-PIUSH]

And we go backward in time. Meanwhile, nearby, a female gal-pal, an old high-school gal-pal of mine is searching the web on a lap-top. And she finds something that surprises her.


 * "Oh my god, Chris! This is s- staggering!"

Stay tune for the next part of this episode!

Transcript Part One
[NARRATOR]: Alright Episode Sixteen: Time Hogs. So the three of us are traveling back in time through the time dimension and it looks like we're not alone! We gotta borotic [sic] friend to bring along with us.

[ROBOT GUY]: YAHOOO! I'm going back in time to go find the treasures and bring them |back to the future. Heh huhhhhhh.

[NARRATOR]: 'N we're just passin' by the various portals with th-of the-various states. Anyway, Sonichu starts a conversation.

[SONICHU]: [Nasally and whiny voice] So the plan is get there five mins er—five minutes earlier, we wait in the sphere t-to remain unde-tet-ive just after the crystal hits the younger Chris, I dash out 'n grab it 'n prepare to [sic] within the sphere. Nah' tha' creative, but o.k. I mean, not totally creative. But o.k.

[CHRIS]: Hmm... yes. I've often pondered the uncertainly of time travel. [Enunciation becomes compromised due to congestion] An' the idea of changin' th' pas' for. future. slash. our present. Ah've realized tha' if we're mean' t' be temper [sic] the pas' it would only go unnoticed, as if the trip bach [sic] was originally suppose' to happen in the firs' place. Like if we went bach [sic] to prevent the mishap at GET-TAR, I'd still likely have to take the punishmen' anyway. [Dejected] So poin'less.

[SONICHU] [Nasally]: Hmmm...? Oh. Yeah. I get it, Pop. Like tha—like tha' Roswell, New Mexico show episode of Futurama. [Becomes too stuffed up to speak clearly] Turns out Fry was his own grandpadder [sic]. Fricky [?] messed up! Ornd [sic] 'Bender's Big Skull' movie. Why Fry f-f-f-tried to live his messed up Y-his missed [sic] Y2K life he-he still had to live Y3K anyway. It was a good matchin' storyline, though.

[CHRIS]: Yes. I agree. Although Megan Marie Griffin strikes me more fondly, television-wise..

[MAGI-CHAN] ["Sophisticated" voice impression]: Hmmmmm. Yes.

[SONICHU] [VERY Nasally and Whiny]: HEEEEY! I wonder why Magi-chan doesn't input his thoughts into the conversation! Does he have a ca—a cat on his tongue?

[CHRIS] [Annoyed and dead panned]: You mean a cat got his tongue. And anyway he's concentrating on the sphere. [pause] It take a lot of mental power to keep it s-sound for time-travel.

[MAGI-CHAN]: [Snootily, but clearly enunciated] Uhn! Thank you for understanding, Chris.

[NARRATOR]: Yeah. Well anyway- [*huff!* *puff!*]

[Tire screeching to a halt sound effect]: EUUURRRRRRRRT!!

[CHRIS] [Stoically]: Stop. We've arrived.

[SONICHU] [Annoyed]: *Unff!* *Cough* Uh. Wow. A little warning next time you use psychic pre-fission-p-precision force, Magi-Chan?

[CHRIS]: Hmm. Geez, that hurts.

[NARRATOR]: Hmm. Anyway we're at Manchester High School Gym, November 13, 1998, 2:26 P.M. Hmm. And look at this: the older-the younger me is walking right by the, um, [sounds like "longer"] me at this time. Heh.

[YOUNG CHRIS] [sounds like Eric Cartman]: Another day managing the varsity basketball team my freshman year. Meh. What an opportunity.

HEY YO! Whaddya know?

[JOE] [Voice is deepened, almost pleasant]: Ah. 'ay Chris. I've already filled the water bottles for our team so I'm jus' chillin' 'til the practice is over.

[NARRATOR]: Hmm. So we're just hangin' out together being, like, y'know, varsity basketball team manager buddies. Anyway. Hmm.

[YOUNG CHRIS] [Inappropriately cheerful]: You look sad, buddy! Whazzup?

[JOE]: Well, I went on the first date with mah' gal, with Lyndssy, last night. We had dinner at a good restaurant, but it turned wrong with spilled soup, tossed salad, and-[dejected] it was a mess. 'Blames me for it. When I asked her for a second date she yelled at me to get los' and slammed a door in mah' face-? I took a cold shower later that night. Cried away. *sigh!* Life sucks.

[YOUNG CHRIS] [Inappropriately]: YIKES! WELL THERE ARE A LOTTA CUTE GIRLS HERE! Like Laura Beth Dorazio the cheerleaders here [sic]. Mreow! [Creepily] She so fine. [Sing-song] She gunna be MINE. Heh heh! ...Hmmm. But I'll chill wit' you, maaan. Stick together like the Three Musketeers. Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Heh heh. Those silly ducks.

[SOME JOCK] [In a faggy voice]: *Huff huff!* UH HEY JOE, I NEED MORE H20 HERE!!

[JOE]: I, J, K, L, M, N, Todd. I'll get that watah for yah'. I'll talk to yah later, man.

[YOUNG CHRIS]: 'Cool Joe. I'll be reading R.L. Stein here.

[LAURA] ["feminine" voice]: Oooh! My POM-POM! Will someone fetch it for me? HEE-HEE!

[YOUNG CHRIS]: Sure Laura! I'll fetch it for yah! Ehhhhhn hereyahgo!

[LAURA]: Oh thank you, Chris.

[NARRATOR] So I turned a few mins, I star-the youn' me star'ed readin' a book, and uh, I'm imaginin' the locker scene by the locker using Mighty the Armadillo and another female character from Sonic the Hedgehog world.

[CHRIS]: Hmm. Ah... yup! When I read the Goosebumps or Fear Street [very congested] bag 'n d'day I filled each character relation role with ones f-with-with the ones wide world of Sonic the Hedgehog between the comic books, the video games, and [pause] what-whatever. Hmm.

[YOUNG CHRIS]: Too bad Sonic Extreme was a lost cause there. Oh well.

[SONICHU]: Look! You guys! The crystal's appearing!

[CHRIS]: [Ignoring Sonichu] Mmmmyes. Sometimes I'd put myself in the lead role t' train mah brain to [pronounces "visually" as "vishally"] remember what I look like in the mirror. [Remembering why he's here] Oh, the crystal's appearing?

[Crystal]: *Wheeow! Wheeow! Wheeeow!* Vrooom!

[MIGHTY]: Yeah... duh-duh-duh-duh... La-la-la-laaaa...

[Crystal/Birth of Bionic]: *WHOOP!* SHPLAAAAH! Whaaaaaan!

[NARRATOR]: Happy Birthday, Bionic the Hedgehog!

[YOUNG CHRIS]: Heh? Ehhhhhhhn!

[SONICHU]: Oop! There goes our ball!

[NARRATOR]: S- [Realizes the continuity error. Changes voices to correct himself.]

[JOCK]: Uh... there goes our ball!

[NARRATOR]: Says the bassetball [sic] player. But yet that there stes [sic] it goes through a Sonichu grabs the, uh, crystal. And heads back into the sphere. N-and then the young me is all like:

[YOUNG CHRIS]: Who is that orange hedgehog?

[NARRATOR]: Hmm. Sonichu comes back into the sphere, hands me the, uh, crystal.

[SONICHU]: Here, man! Take this. Don't stop me I'm on a Roll-Out!

[NARRATOR]: [Exhales forcibly] An' then we go back right forward into time. Mean while bakkintudapassty...

[YOUNG CHRIS]: Hmm. Ok. Well I'm goin' dub you Bionic the Hedgehog! 'N I dub thee to be Sonic the Hedgehog's long-lost brudder. I have the story in mah' head! I'm gunna get to mah' lo-I'm going to my locker, get some paper, a pen, 'n some markers and draw this new hedgehog into existence! Hmm. [Annoyed] Now who threw this basketball?

[BIONIC]: Oh. Sorry lil'man-sorry lil' dude. My bads.

[NARRATOR]: *sighs* *chuckles to himself* Says Bionic the Hedgehog. And now, and now for a fun prairiedy! [sic] Wid' apologies to Mr. Mike Judge.

BUTTHEAD: Uhhhuhh. Uhhhuhhh. Heh heh.

[NARRATOR]: An' why not? SOMEBODY left their locker open...

BEAVIS: HEY CHECK IT OUT, BUTTHEAD! Ehhhehhh! Ehhehh! Somebody left their locker open! Hehheh heh!

[BUTTHEAD]: Let's close it for thum [sic].

[BEAVIS]: Ehhhehhheheheheheh!

[Supposed to be the sound of a locker door slamming shut]: Vrrmmmm vrrrmmmm vrrrrmmm!

[BEAVIS]: Ehheheheh! YEAH! LET'S CLOSE IT AGAIN! MYA!

[NARRATOR]: Vrrmmmm vrrrmmmm vrrrrmmm!

[SOMEONE]: O.K.! Who wants to make love today?

[ENTIRE CLASS]: We do! We do! We do!

[SOMEONE]: Great! I'll take all the women here!

[NARRATOR]: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Transcript Part Two
[NARRATOR]: Anyway we were travelin'-the three of us were travelin' back in t' back to the present of November 2, 2007. Hmm. An' I'm thinkin' to myself:

[CHRIS]: An' Ahm' not gonna fall I'm-I'm not gonna fall AGAIN. I'm keepin' mah' feet on the founda-on the PSYCHIC GROUND.

[NARRATOR]: Hmm. LITTLE DID I KNOW that God had planned the twist of fate that'd force me into a long, emotionally-forced hiatus.

[Sound effects of magic or psychic powers or something]: Vffffrrrm vffffrrrrm vffffrrrmmm...

[NARRATOR]: The crystals are [struggles] pulsing around me, but then we-but than we c-came to our time destination... yup. H-he stopped. But fortunately [sic] I didn't hold my ground- I just got flung forward. [Exhales breath] PFFFFFFFT!

[CHRIS]: [Girly scream] Ahhhhhhhhh~! I'm getting lost in time here~! Grape~! [sic]

[NARRATOR]: In fron-now now we're Sonichu an' Magi-Chan located in fron' of the CWCville Shopping Center. November 2, 2007- two hours after leaving Manchester High School Gymnasium.

[SONICHU]: Hmm. Yup! It was 5 P.M. when we left. Not 7 P.M.

[MAGI-CHAN]: Well. We have returned to our present. Granted we may have overshot a bit.

[SONICHU]: Hmmm? Eh. No big deal. My date with Rosechu isn't until 8. Then later at 10... HEH HEH HEH! TONIGHT!

[MAGI-CHAN]: [Not enthused] Ah. Yes. "Bonus Round" of honest, true love, and romance. [Dead-panned? Sarcastically?] You and Rosey sure earned it for sure. While Black Sonichu SLASH BLAKE is trying to date Bubbles, it's a coin-it's a coin toss between Wild and Punchy for Angelica, and I'm... ignorant... to the matter. WAY too much gray matter.

[SONICHU]: EH, BUCK UP! You'll find your woman! At least by the next season! Ehh... speaking of odd men out...

[SONICHU MOVES HIS HEAD QUICKLY]: *WHHSSH WHHSSH!*

[SONICHU]: Where in a bottle of Pepsi is Chris? I know he was in the sphere with us...

[MAGI-CHAN]: Hmmm... I'm pickin' up his fr- I'm NOT picking up his presence nearby. WAIT! *FFFWWW! FFWWWW! FFFWWW!!!*

[CHRIS'S VOICE]: [Faraway] Aaaaaaaaaah~!

[PSYCHIC ENERGY SOUND EFFECT]: *BWEEEEOOOOOW!*

[MAGI-CHAN]: WE LOST HIM!!! When we stopped the crystal's power may-made him pass through my sphere, the crystals activated like rockets upon his FRICTION. [Brief pause] From the stop. PROPELLED into the void of time [dejected] there's nothing we can do for him right now. All we can do is wait for a time warp to open. An-an if I sense his presence at that moment there's a chance that I can go in and retrieve him. The time warp may open at any random time in tha' future.

[SONICHU]: Oh my God.

[ROSECHU]: Oh my God.

[NARRATOR]: [Realizes it makes no sense for Rosey to be in that conversation, so chooses to explain what's going on] Later on the date...

[ROSECHU]: Is he gonna be alright?

[SONICHU]: Hmmm. Well. Magi-Chan tol' me that he will survive as-but depending on the events from now an' when we can remove-when we can rescue him from the void, he'll either feel richer or poorer in-in motions.

[ROSECHU]: Oh...

[SONICHU]: In the meantime he'll receive the accumulated memories of passing moments so in a way he's looking down on us like our Lord and God [pause] are able to. But the vision may be blurred.

[ROSECHU]: Eh. Oh well. A'leas' his s-s-secretary, Allison, can handle the city decisions. She is the mayor now. *Sigh!* But I don't know how his family will cope with the pain of th' temporary loss an' I worry about if the defense forces can deal with the possible invasions from a number of villains.

[SONICHU]: Ah-hey-hey-hey! Whatever happens we' give th' bad guys our combined "shock therapy" if need be! We'll see him again and I can promise you that I'll be with you for comfort and support always, Sweetheart.

[ROSECHU]: Ahhh... 'ankyoo. You truly are my Sweetbolt. Hold me.

[NARRATOR]: *reveals an intimate scene for the audience*

[SONICHU & ROSECHU]: [Sweetly] Awwwwwww. Yeah. Hmmmm...

[ROSECHU]: [Long pause] Hey! Let's go back to our place and do OUR THANG.

[SONICHU]: Oh I love you, Rosechu, and you sedudive [sic] ways. You ARE the woman [pause] ...we gotta stop by Wall-Mall-Wart on the way for a "raincoat." The weather's just right!

[ROSECHU]: Oh yeah! Heheheheh!

[NARRATOR]: Meanwhile at the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens High School District...

[The PVCC theme song is played. The lyrics are "doon-da-doon-dan-doon. Da-dun-dun-dun. Da-dun-dun-dunt-dun-duht-tun-tun-duuuun.]

[The door to Dean Slaweel's office is opened] Errrrrrrrrrrrr... Fwwwwwwhhh...

[NARRATOR]: We c-we come into the meeting of the villains. At one en' of the council table is Scotpalazzo. Manajerk of the Fash-Square, Sho-Mall Region. He banned all virgins from his region.

[SCOTPALAZZO]: Hmm. This world is so corrupt.

[NARRATOR]: Ah. From his side to the, uh, the other on-t, on his left is the CADD Chef, the B-Manajerk, the Merried Seinor [sic] Comic, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, Bagget-Jerkop Daitenzen, an' Jerk-an'-an'-the Jerkhief. And to his RIGHT we have the Turdijerk: the Manajerk of Get-Tar, and his accomplice, Trebor Capman. Hmmm... and then there's, uh, ah, well, Walter Grisby. And the, uh, Eggman. An' Giovanni is sittin' across, uh, Reldnahc. And we got two new, uh, villains: uh, Jason an' his slave, Kathleen, his uh, his uh, accomplice. Then in the middle of it all we have the head of the W-M Manajerk. Sittin' on a plate. How kinda ironic. And of 'course at the head, under the big portrait is Slaweel Ryam and her [pause] wand-and-accomplice, Count Graduon.

[SLAWEEL]: [Raspy old hag voice] Aheheheheh! My fellow villain brothren! The time has [mumbles] risen for our diving retribution against Christian Weston Chandler!

[COUNT GRADUON]: Yes.

[NARRATOR]: Says Count Graduon.

[COUNT GRADUON]: The autistic virgin has fallen into another dimension! We can seize the moment after et-stensive [sic] plotting and taken all that [breathes into microphone] which he has protected!

[VILLAINS]: YAY!

[NARRATOR]: Says the villains. But we the heroes say, "BOOOOO! BOOOO!" [Pause] Anyway, just after my plot-my plummet into the time void. Hmm. I tried to uh, to grab, to grab the, uh, crystals, and yet... nya. Try to get them off me to stop. But instead they disappear. Into my arms.

[Crystals become embedded inside Chris]: Frooooom! Froooom!

[NARRATOR]: Wha-? An' now I'm stuck motionl-I'm jus' at this poin' stuck motionless. In the time void. An' all the passing thoughts an' whatnot come into my head and I'm starting to get a headache.

[CHRIS'S HEAD]: I can't believe that-I can't believe this. In space no one can hear you scream and in time you are heard to infinity. What the-? UHN! *hack* Random new memories popping into mah' head? WHAT? An e-mail from MEG-CHAN? DUMPING ME?! But WHY? 4-cent_garbage magazine dot com!! Mocking ME?! Slanderous filth! A drawing of Meg-Chan and me intimate? And I-I drew that? She dumped me over that?! DANG THAT HURTS! Wait... Joshua Martinez? I haven't seen him in years! Vanessa Hushins [sic] an' me-? [Unimpressed] She's kinda cute... She and I never chatted personally? Only over the web? SHE DUMPED ME IN FAVOR OF JOSHUA?! SAID THIS AND THAT? Joshua deceived me? That damn liar! Slaweel with all those villains terrorizing around CWCville, my hedgehogs fighting those countless enemies, numar [sic] shorten' over swift lightning...? [Deadpanned] Oh good. We won. Still... CURSE YOUR GARBAGE, 4-CENT_GARBAGE!!

[NARRATOR]: This season is not over yet. Stay tuned for more stories. DUN DUN DUUUUUN! And Allison Amber is now the mayor of CWCville. An' nobody else.

Transcript
[NARRATOR]: [voice gets cut off at the beginning of the shoot] And now for a special segment:

[ADVERB]: TUNE IN EVERYDAY to station KCWC! Everythang! All th' great song types and classics to jazz to country to pop to heavy metal... even jugs, kazoos, and washboards! All the early and latest hits are played at random as well as short talk, hosted everyday by CWCville's favorite dish [sic] jockey, JAMSTA SONICHU! An costed [sic] his number one lady, Lolisa Rosechu!

[JAMSTA]: Hey all you guys, gals, dudes, and dudettes of all ages. You all rockin' an' keepin' it real at station KCWC with yours truly, Jamsta Sonichu: DJ of every hour with the power! And on top of the hour we weigh-we r-reign p-playin' outside power with sunny skies and [pronounces 'autumn' as 'odd'] tems [?] with a frisky sissy-ate [sic] degrees. Sonichu and Rosechu fan base is on the rise beyond mass [sic] thousands. Nintendo and Sega has stamped and digital mailed weighing in their laps to talk to CWCville's mayor and original founder Christian Weston Chandler!

And on the spot right here in the studio we have visiting us today the new Bubblegum Pop sensation Jiggliami and her cute manager, Blanca, talking 'bout her new hit [pronounces 'single' as 'say-go']. [Suave] So laaaadies, what's the word on that?

[JIGGLIAMI]: [sounds like Eric Cartman doing a 'girl's voice'] Well, lemme just say that it is a delight to be on my first ever radio show! I'm also jazzed about my upcoming return to CWCville for my Spring Break concert at the beach! Hee hee! Jiggliami! And I'd like to thank Capital Records for spottin' my record contract for my single "War of Love." I'm psyched about it's June release! Jiggly! Jiggly Jiggly Jiggly! I play [indecipherable] vocals with Blanca blocking-backing me up with lead Guitar Hero.

[BLANCA]: [slow drawl] Y-e-a-h. While Jiggliami sings on SingStar I will play my ats [sic] on the [drawn out] Wii gettin' mah' high scores [pause] real better for my real play for my benefit.

[JIGGLIAMI]: I can't help appreciate her excellent skills. After being discovered by playing at her family's business WE WERE IN.

[BLANCA]: [slow drawl] Oh. [pause] My. [pause] God.

[JIGGLIAMI]: I KNOW, RIGHT? We just could not believe it butrightnow we're rigged [sic] at Max's Kansas city. If we're lucky, like Joe, we may have a "no surprise" contract.

[BLANCA]: [Supposed to be at the same time as Jiggliami] Hello Joe! Jynx! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[JIGGLIAMI]: [Supposed to be at the same time as Blanca] Hello Joe! Jynx! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[JAMSTA]: Well I just can't help but to admire how gorgeous you both are.

[JIGGLIAMI]: Oh well, thank you! I couldn't [pause] look like this [pause] [struggles] lookin' this hot with-out [pause] s-the makeover advice [starts catching back up to speed] from my awesomely kind advisor! Eheeheeheehee!

[JAMSTA]: Well that's fantastic. Well. [Pause] Will. [Pause] I'm gonna briefly hand over the mic to mah' gal and co-host, Lolisa Rosechu.

[LOLISA]: [Surprisingly not irritating] Thank you, Jamsta, and good job keeping yourself and your eyes off of our guest star's snowballs. They were the last pair from the vending machine!

[NARRATOR]: *laughs at Lolisa's joke*

[LOLISA]: Anyway, I'm currently in second-in th' second booth with a well-proven top Sonichu and Rosechu fan. A well-educated high school graduate at age twenty-two all the way from Clarksville. [Sing song] He's single, ladies~! I'm talking to Mr. Robert Simmons the Fifth- aka SonichuFan1985.

[ROBERT]: [Sounds like... Skeletor?] Yes. Thank you.

[LOLISA]: So tell me, Bob, how did you create the top fan status for yourself?

[ROBERT]: Well, after I read all of Chris's comics from the Official Sonichu and Rosechu site, even though at this time it's currently called-it's currently CWCipedia, I have become inspired. So I've carved my place by recoord-by recording a few YouTube videos in tribute to him and his electric hedgehogs.

[LOLISA]: Hmm. I understand that you and Chris have sim'lar, yet possibly mimicked, traits?

[ROBERT]: Yes. He and I are both somewhat desperate for a woman to secure our indidual [sic] futures an' tha' neither of us have actually gotten laid yet.

[LOLISA]: Hmm. What advice have you taken from Christian's wide wisdom to benefit you?

[ROBERT]: He was correct on therapy on your-on yours-self with something feminine and furry from a toy store. My furry-my Furby, Michelle, at home until the day I get lucky for myself. Also, using Ats [sic] body spray around the women does work within close range.

[LOLISA]: [lustfully] Oh I can tell~! You smell good. An' he-an' he l-he look almost identical [pause] an' I personally know that Chris is a cute, caring, and good man. He will put his closest friends first. [Voice becomes scratchy] What d'ya feel is the reason you haven't found the right woman yet, Bob?

[ROBERT]: Hmm. Ah. Yes. The, uh, big pondering. In 'ddition to his proven fact of the infinitely high boyfriend factor I found women very beautiful yet they can be frightening due to their surprising [something rattles in the background] emotions and mood swings. R-why anyway I gotta go. Happy t' be the hard-core fan.

[LOLISA]: Super! Well thank you for your time, Bob-

[CAMERAS TURN OFF PREMATURELY]: *Pfffffffuuuuuut*

[LOLISA]: [Caught off guard] Well-For his time and many efforts. Well, I'll be handin' the mic back to my sweet Jammin' Jamsta, after we hear from Boston with "More Than a Feelin'." Oh wait. I've just been handed a bulletin: "A future a *sigh* uh, from a time warp. 'Roberts Simmons the Fifth is a troll. He audio-taped recorded fshshshshsh audio from my church? Signed Christian Weston Chandler from the future."---? Oh my God! WE JUST HAD A TROLL IN HERE?! *Scoff!* Well we'll certainly get the CWCville police on his ass. Heh. Anyway, stay tuned for Boston's "More Than a Feeling." [Sound in the background]

[ADVERB]: [Singing] Every~thing! Station KCWC~!