Manchester High Leaks

In June 2014, CWCki Forums user SkyRaider91 (also known as Cousin Al), began leaking scans of several documents from Chris's junior year (1998-99) of high school. Many of the pages appear to be charred and/or water-damaged, likely as a result of the January 2014 fire and subsequent events at 14 Branchland Court. It was revealed in November 2014 that these had been obtained by trolls sifting through the trash at the burnt-out house, which, although not illegal, still lends credence to the view that the trolling of Chris is going too far.

It is very apparent from these leaks that many of Chris's teachers gave him very high grades which he indisputably did not deserve. Whether they did this out of misguided pity, a fear of being seen to play Kick the Autistic or simply being incompetent themselves, giving Chris - who had perfectly adequate mental faculties for the work - undeserved extra credit would have contributed to his ego and general laziness. Even within this small core sample of his work, it's apparent that Chris frequently left out sections he didn't want to complete, wrote "essays" in a first-person subjective tone and even wrote parts of his work in the wrong language and still got good or even perfect scores. The teachers who enabled this abysmal workmanship probably had the best intentions and/or incompetence, but even though they may have made Chris, Bob, and Barb happy they certainly did Chris no favours in the long run. Thankfully, at least a few of his markers had the sense to treat his work like they'd treat anyone else's, and he has them to thank for only being able to get into the local community college.

Parenting Interview
Presumably Chris interviewed Barb and/or Bob for this assignment, and most of the answers are short and vague to the point of not making much sense; it's unclear whether Barb/Bob were giving apathetic answers, or whether Chris was just too lazy to record their full responses. Humorously, the interviewee(s) says that "the hardest part of being a parent" has been "dealing w. public school sys", and that they chose to have children simply because "It's nice to have kids." They also make mention of "laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations". This idiosyncratic expression has been interpreted as referring to the social stigma that Bob and Barb endured as a result of their respective previous relationships and children. It is likely to be just an obscure, antiquated idiomatic formation not to be taken literally, referring to the various wacky happenings stemmed from raising one single very special boy.

Describing Development
A worksheet in which Chris was asked to identify one of five characteristics of development exemplified by various situations. Chris only managed to identify half of the characteristics correctly, earning him an F.

Help This Unborn Child
A worksheet about behaviors which may adversely affect prenatal development. Chris wrote that several seemingly random things can cause "slow minds", and completely ignored about half of the risk factors mentioned, yet for some reason he still received a grade of 14/20, a C-.

Chapter 1 study guide
For this worksheet about child development, Chris seems to have regurgitated sentences from a textbook, which makes it a boring read. Of note is that he gave "television" as an example of a child's "enviroment" [sic], possibly shedding some light on Barb's parenting techniques.

Chapter 2 study guide
This worksheet seems to be more regurgitated textbook material, but Chris found subtle ways to screw it up, like using mathematical inequalities (see also: using Spanish in his English homework) and failing to cross a couple Ts. He also doesn't seem to understand the concept of adoption, referring to it as "a right to raise a child who is biologically their own."

Chapter 5 study guide
Chris misspelled a couple words, but other than that, this worksheet is just more boring textbook paraphrasing, this time about prenatal development.

Empathy Belly essay
Chris describes the experience of wearing an empathy belly, complete with disturbing honest content:

"...while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my private part, which gave me a strange, weird feeling."

- Chris, oversharing about how the empathy belly rubbed his penis

Amendment Timeline
An illustrated timeline briefly describing the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. As is to be expected, Chris used multiple differing conventions for writing out dates, and made numerous prominent factual, spelling, and grammatical errors, which are preserved in the transcription.

Notably, Chris seems to have read the antiquated language used in the older amendments at completely literal face value with no sense of interpretation, leading him to getting many facts and details wrong. For example, while most every true American patriot knows the 13th Amendment as the amendment that ended slavery, it also contains a parenthetical stating that involuntary servitude as conviction for a crime would continue to exist in the United States. Chris seems to have focused on this minor detail about crime punishment, rather than the momentous occasion of freeing the slaves, as the entire purpose of the amendment and even included an illustration implying that the 13th Amendment created slavery for criminals. While the 23rd Amendment actually gave voting rights to citizens of Washington, D.C., Chris seems to have confused "District of Columbia" for referring to Columbia, South Carolina, and drew a picture of the state pleased that it can now vote for president (this may have something to do with South Carolina not adopting a popular vote for president until 1868, making it by far the last state to do so, although this is probably giving Chris too much credit). In actuality, the 24th amendment abolishes poll taxes, while Chris makes it seem like it suddenly requires them. Additionally, the 26th amendment doesn't apply exclusively to men; it gives suffrage to all Americans 18 and older, regardless of sex.

His interpretation of the 11th Amendment, that "People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles", is completely inexplicable.

Chris glosses over most of the Bill of Rights amendments (including the First Amendment that allows him to behave the way he does over the Internet), claiming the whole thing simply means "innocent until proven guilty." "Dear LADY; PAYUP!"

- Congress

Women's Movement notes
"Never Passed!"

- What should have happened to Chris in an ideal education system

Chris's brief notes on the women's movement in the United States in the 1960s.

Strategic Defense Initiative essay
The Strategic Defense Initiative was a system Reagan proposed in 1983. It was never actually implemented, at least not even close to how Reagan proposed it (in terms of technology and scale), and certainly not during his presidency. Despite that, Chris vomited up this four-sentence "essay" on how the "system of zappers and mirrors in space" defended "against Evil Empire," granted, the assignment asked for him to defend against the evil empire but he still didn't follow most of the instructions. He still got yet another perfect grade. Note that the teacher misspelled the names of several terms/people in the heading, and that the debt increase Chris gave for SDI is comically low – Reagan increased the defense budget by tens of billions of dollars, not millions. All evidence seems to suggest his teacher should not have been hired.

Election worksheet
This worksheet deals with various aspects of elections, such as voting, political campaigns, etc. As in several other documents for non-Spanish subjects, Chris used broken Spanish for some of his answers here, although he provided English translations for most of it, and explained in the margin that he was "practicing [his] spanish". Despite the irrelevant, incorrect use of Spanish and the extremely simple answers, this worksheet again received a perfect grade.

"In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? public officeholders; work en la office."

- Chris, completely oblivious that this was asking about the Electoral College

JFK Assassination
Brief notes on JFK's assassination, including a diagram of the scene.

English 1999 Grade Report
Chris's 1999 English grade report reveals that he received failing grades on all but 2 items, and a 78% for the year, showing that at least one of his markers was competent. {{collapsible|Transcription|

=
=================================================================== Sun Jun 06                STUDENT GRADES REPORT                        PAGE: 26

=
===================================================================                   Excelsior Software, Inc.  (C) 1990

NAME: Chandler, Christian            CLASS: English I.D.:                              SECTION: LEVEL:                              TEACHER: Mrs. Dorazio

ASSIGNMENTS +--+---+ NO. | DESCRIPTION                    CATEGORY                         | GRADE | +--+---+ 1 | Notecards I                     All Grades                       |  50.0 | 2 | Notecards II                   All Grades                       |  50.0 | 3 | Macbeth test                   All Grades                       |  84.0 | 4 | Voc 10 S/A                     All Grades                       |  20.0 | 5 | Intro Paragraph                All Grades                       |     0 | 6 | Sonnet Disc                    All Grades                       | X     | 7 | 1st Body Paragraph             All Grades                       |     0 | 8 | Computer lab                   All Grades                       |  25.0 | 9 | Sonnet test                    All Grades                       |  86.0 | 10 | Pride and Prejudice II         All Grades                       |     0 | 11 | Voc 10 C/C                     All Grades                       |  30.0 | 12 | Pride and Prejudice IV         All Grades                       |  23.0 | 13 | Voc 10B                        All Grades                       |  50.0 | 14 | Pride and Prejudice VI         All Grades                       |  25.0 | +--+---+

CLASS GRADE:  72.0   D+

COMMENTS: year- 78 }}

Canterbury Tales Essay
An essay on The Nun's Priest's Tale from Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, with two drafts, a planning/inventory sheet, and a grade sheet. The rough draft looks to be peer-reviewed, while the second draft was most likely reviewed by the teacher. The first draft of the "essay" is just the narrative of the story the essay was supposed to be about, and Chris uses extremely basic punctuation (mainly commas) incorrectly, as well as making up words. The second draft is the same thing minus the fictitious words (but plus numerous tense errors) and with an awfully written conclusion tacked onto the end. Chris earned a 69% grade from a very generous or very stupid marker.

"And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor."

- Chris's eloquent conclusion in the rough draft, which his teacher didn't even notice was the conclusion

"Well, that's it for the essay."

- Chris's revised conclusion

Japan War Essay
A wandering, factually inaccurate essay purported to be about Japan and the United States in World War II, which Chris sagaciously describes as "a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!". Most of the content is directly cited from other works, several of which are actually about World War I. What little content Chris came up with himself is highly subjective, informally and terribly written (the final draft begins with "this essay is about") and frequently racist. The thesis, if it can so be called, is extremely vague. There is an outline and two drafts of the essay. What mark he received for it can only be guessed at.

Of note is that despite this essay being for his English class, and being corrected on it in the rough draft, Chris wrote parts of the headings in Spanish, including writing his name as Ricardo, on the final draft.

"So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded... So, the US and Japan really wanted to get it on."

- Christian Weston Chandler, top scholar of WWII history

"At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong"... Even the President of the US wanted to put an end to this nasty war."

- Chris, not realizing that the sentence that he quoted begins with "At the end of World War I..."

"But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way..."

- Chris

""Very confusing + unclear.""

- Chris's English teacher, providing an apt summary of this essay as well as Chris's writing in general

Best President Essay
A typically brief essay for Social Studies class in which Chris explains why John F. Kennedy was the best modern president. Both a rough draft and a final draft are included. While the teacher corrected the final draft, all the notations on the rough draft are in Chris's handwriting. Both drafts are typed. The marking can only be described as generous; Chris constantly changes tense incorrectly, all the paragraphs are terse and uninformative, and Chris even manages to misquote the famous line from Kennedy's inaugural address. Chris received a final grade of 43/50, plus an additional ten points because it was typed. Note that the English teacher who gave him this mark made multiple false corrections, crossed out the same mistake the second time it appeared but not the first time, and did not know how to spell "integrity", and yet he still got hired as a teacher.

Warm Fuzzies
A page in which Chris's classmates wrote positive things about him, presumably as a teacher-mandated attempt to bring each other "Warm Fuzzies" and promote acceptance among the class. Most of his classmates clearly stuck by the adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, give a light, generic compliment instead." The things they wrote suggest that Chris's random-access humor was in abundant use by this stage.

Student Life Essay
A planning sheet and rough draft of an essay about how high school students' jobs affect their school performance (not a problem for Chris, of course). Chris inexplicably drew a star at the beginning of each line. An editor (transcribed below in bold; hopefully a peer, but unfortunately probably the teacher) has made numerous false corrections of things that were not incorrect, as well as making grievous spelling and grammar errors in their written comments.

S.O.L. Test
Chris suggests in this Standards of Learning (SOL) essay that his high school's "seinor" class should fund the construction of an indoor swimming pool in the gym as their class gift, exhibiting that he has no notion of how much that would cost. He alludes to gym teachers having "wet-wild" times with the students in the prospective pool; it's unclear whether this is an attempt at innuendo or that Chris genuinely didn't realize how it sounded.

13 Lucky Writing Tips
This document is perhaps the single most baffling example of Chris's writing currently on record, which is no mean feat. The 13 Lucky Writing Tips are a list of notes Chris took which were most likely suggestions and recommendations (duly ignored) from a textbook that were read off by a teacher.

Directly contradicting the very first item on the list, Chris switches from English to Spanish mid-sentence about a third of the way through the list.

Adjectives worksheet
This work is dated 8/2/99, most likely referring to 8 February 1999 using the Spanish date format. Chris used pop culture figures (Pokémon, Sonic, The Powerpuff Girls) to illustrate vocabulary words. Chris's class seems to have watched Spanish dubs of The Powerpuff Girls in class, so for once he had an excuse for shoving fictional characters into his schoolwork. His Pokémon are revealing: he describes Christian the Charmeleon as muy delgado ("very thin"), Ricardo the Raichu as muy divertido ("very funny"), and Cole the Beedrill as muy feo ("very ugly").

This appears to be Chris's earliest reference to Pokemon. It had been introduced in North America four months earlier.

Las Profesiones worksheet
This ungraded worksheet deals with labeling various people with job titles, and then stating whether they are bueno o malo ("good or bad" – at their work, presumably). Chris refers to Ricardo as a bombero ("firefighter"), and to Bob as an ingeniero técnico ("technical engineer"). Demonstrating his mastery of Spanish, Chris described every single person on the worksheet as bueno, and wrote de ("of"[masc.]) instead of es ("is") for a few rows, resulting in nonsensical phrases like April de reportera de TV bueno. ("April of good TV reporter.").

En mi cuarto worksheet
Chris describes the contents of his room, circa 1998. His list is, mercifully, not exhaustive.

Las profesiones y nacionalidad
A worksheet which required pictures of six different professions and six different flags, with one profession and flag combination per page, and sentences describing each page (e.g. El es un médico cubano, or "He is a Cuban doctor"). Chris opted to hand-draw each page with Crayola Magic Markers, using Lego minifigures and/or Lego catalog photos as models. Note that the United States flag (complete with 25 pentagrams and 15 stripes) is depicted waving in the breeze, while the flags of all other nations are shown flat.

Getting Acquainted
A bingo-like "icebreaker" activity in which the students of the class were supposed to get to know each other by exchanging personal trivia. Chris refused to talk to any male students, and left the grid incomplete (including the square he was supposed to fill in himself).

Transcription (classmates' answers in bold): 

GETTING ACQUAINTED

Have one person from this class sign and complete each of the boxes. Try to remember interesting facts about each of your classmates. See how many different signatures you can collect. Don't waste time.

Have you completed the box in the center of the grid? When you have completed five boxes in a row (diagonally, horizontally or vertically) show the results to me for my approval and further instructions.

Safety in the Kitchen worksheet
A dull worksheet designed to educate children about kitchen safety. This worksheet evidently had little effect on Chris, since he went on to slip on cat shit in the kitchen and then cause his house to burst into flames because of a kitchen-related accident.

Kitchen Safety outline
An outline on kitchen safety. As with the worksheet, Chris failed to absorb most of the guidelines here, unless "putting bandages on our Mom's holey buttocks" counts as "[guarding] against pests/bugs".

Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet
A true/false worksheet on kitchen safety. Chris's answers have been corrected and each has been marked with either a checkmark or a smiley, with no apparent pattern.