CWC Update 30 January 2009

Chris retracts his January 26 statement about having flown to Nintendo of America headquarters to meet Shigeru Miyamoto (or, as Chris calls him, "Mr. Mayamoto"). He also angrily responds to Reggie Fils-Aimé (or, as Chris calls him, "Mr. Fil-Aimés") and his complaint about a panty shot in Chris's PowerPoint presentation, a complaint Chris distorts into false allegations of nudity and characterizes as a general opposition to heterosexuality.

It seems that during the course of the making of this video Chris realizes that he has an opportunity here to force his community to believe his claims about making games for Nintendo if he can get Fils-Aimé and Miyamoto to sue him and therefore appear in his hometown court system. Accordingly, he tries everything he can to provoke both men, as his highest priority is not to make a video game, but prove that he is a complete idiot.

Video
"Reggie has just made a step too far."

Transcript
Captain's Log, Stardate: January 30th, 2009.

[loudly sets down PS3 controller]

I respectfully d—I respectfully detract the, uh, previous statement I made, where I said that wh—where the wheels were rolling… with Nuh—Nintendo of America. [Grimaces.]

Because… the president of the company, Reggie Fil-Aimés… has, uh, sai—has, uh… canec—blatantly canceled the project. And also—also… I d—a—so, I am respectfully doin’ this retraction, but also, I'm puttin' in my own two cents, because… Reggie has just made a step too far.

In reply, he—in the reply he has made to me, he has sai—he has said that he has viewed my PowerPoint presentation… and while it did NOT have any nudity in it at all… [inhales deeply] it did have true love… and… s—and some—and—and k—and romantic kisses between true… straight lovers.

And Reggie effect—apparently, he objects to this! And I will not stand for this because in real life, as well as in the comic strips, I am a warrior for true love and honesty! And I will not stand up for this. So—so, for all my true sss—so, a message to all my tr—loyal—loyal, true Sonichu fans: send your letters to… Reggie Fil-Aimés, care of Nintendo of America… in complaints! [sniffles]

And also, Reggie… and Mr. Mayamoto… uh, still having some respect for Mr. Mayamoto, but lost all my respect for Reggie, even though I've only seen him the one time on the video I saw… [picks up Wii Remote and Nunchuk] on my Nintendo Wii!

'Cause… M-Mr. Aimé has lost my respect, because he objects true love. I mean, it's between straight lovers! Avery—I mean… homo males are objectionable… VERY objectionable. I hate them. But when it's between straight l—when it's between a s—a man—a man and a female, it's true love and honesty. So, Mr. Aimés, you've lost my respect! [starts waving Wii Remote and Nunchuk around, imitating Sailor Moon]

And you have crossed the line! And if you want to see me in court, I'll see you in Charlottesville court! And I'm doin' this parody of Sailor Moon in response to the, uh, lost Sailor Moon title that would’ve been released in Japan for Nintendo Wii. [loudly sets down Wii Remote and Nunchuk]

[jump cut]

And as a matter of fact, you know what? It would be good to see you both, Reggie Fil-Aimés and Mr. Shigeru Mayamoto, in court… in front of my family and friends because they could—because then, they could see… that every—that the business has been true… and that there has been no lies in it.

[jump cut]

So, with that, I'll leave y'all with the, uh, with that. And also… go ahead, come on. I'll see you—I'll see… you, Reggie, and Mr. Mayamoto. I'll see you both in court! Charlottesville, Virginia Court! I have a num—I have a slaw—a great—a grand number… of family and friends… locally… that will s—that will defend me… in my character. [places hands on hips in a pose of mock confidence] So, let's see what you got.

Peace.