Sonichu 13


 * This article is about the novella dictated to Chris by the Idea Guys. For the My Little Pony fanfiction comic originally called Sonichu #13, see Sonichu #12-9.

"Sh**Da**Fu**Crap"

- Chris's title for his file of the comic

"October 25, 2017... the life of Miss Christine Weston Chandler, myself, was beginning to change forever... this is our story."

- The book's opening, instilling a sense of calm before the shitstorm begins.

Sonichu #13 (originally #16), also known as The Awakening of a CPU aka The Idea Guy Corruptions, is an issue which was heavily directed by the Idea Guy trolls. It features a story on how one of their fictional troll characters, John Yamada, came to influence Chris, and covers an incoherent series of plot threads involving pieces of lore the Idea Guys had brainwashed into Chris.

Due to the secretive nature of the saga, the comic pages were initially not uploaded by Chris; however, in-progress photos were leaked by various people whom Idea Guy Joshua Wise had shared them with. After the Idea Guys were ousted, Chris resumed production on the comic in May 2018, when he posted previews for a backup story about the polyamorous marriage, acting against the advice of the Guard Dogs, who attempted to distance Chris from the concepts introduced by the Idea Guys. The comic was officially published in Autumn 2018, albeit rough and mostly uncolored, and was directly mailed to his backers to avoid violating Patreon's Terms of Service.

This "comic" is unusual (even by Chris's standards) in consisting mostly of huge blocks of expository text, with illustrations running in narrow columns – or even relegated to the margins – on most pages. Indeed, the approach more closely resembles a than a traditional webcomic; it also bears an odd (likely coincidental) resemblance to the notorious and short-lived Marvel comic , which took the form of a printed comic script accompanied by occasional illustrations. The writing-heavy style does not go well with the rough hand-drawn lettering, or Chris's usual difficulties with run-on sentences and paragraphs, making the issue rather irritating to read through. This would mark a lasting shift in the Sonichu series; Sonichu #14 would similarly be dominated by walls of text, with occasional imagery.

Despite being aware that the Idea Guys turned out to be trolls, Chris still believes the abnormally bizarre events depicted in this comic are canon and happened, evidenced when he wrote the epilogue, The Awakening of a CPU, several months later, and when Chris's Magi-Chan sockpuppet on Twitter referred to the events as 'true fact', and gave the book a proper number after being ripped out of the Sonichu series in April 2019 as the Idea Guy corruptions that they were.

CPU come to Cwcville
On October 25th, 2017 Chris is contacted by a lone Gamindustri agent known as John Yamada – depicted in a gas mask and body armor from the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. video games – who is investigating if Chris's Sega Dreamcast is a "spiral" console of this world capable of jumping between worlds. Magi-Chan investigates and confirms that yes, this console, in particular, is special. After 24 hours of reflection, Chris touches the console and decides he has immediately become part of the canon of the anime/game franchise Hyperdimension Neptunia and claims to share his body with that of the character Uzumi Tennouboshi who promptly informs him her evil half Kuromi, the Russian billionaire Akan from ', and Monika from ' are causing chaos in our world.

Silvana is sent to rescue Adult Neptune and bring her safely to Gamindustri, however Kuromi and Akan are infiltrating Chris' dreams and corrupting his mind and on November 4th, they encourage Graduon to lead an attack on Cwcville.

John unites the Sailor Scouts from Sailor Moon and Chris is awestruck to learn that they apparently exist in our world too and informs us at some point Sailor Jupiter rescued John, Neptune, Nepgear and Blanc from German Soldiers. Nepgear falls unconscious until she is cuddled by John and Chris, after which she fully recovers.

Chris deploys the Cwcville Army, Son-Chu and his Autobots and pushes the evil forces back. Kuromi launches her last stand, knowing Uzumi is inside Chris. Uzumi and Kuromi fuse into one being and Chris gives Uzumi her powers back, and Chris goes on to inform us everyone has a heart crystal inside of them.

CWCville vs Russia
Meanwhile, Chris and John's friend Cave are set to meet for discussions, and Silvana is made Cave's bodyguard. She gets herself captured by Russian forces and it takes four days to rescue her. Russian cloakers are invading Cwcville, and Chris destroys a hotel full of criminals with Lightning. Akan infiltrates the Mall with a puppet-mayor and Chris promptly destroys the Mall and murders the fake-mayor before restoring the Mall from the toilets to the full building as it once stood.

Akan (a billionaire, mind you) makes himself at home at 14 Branchland Court and vandalizes it. Monika makes contact with Chris via his phone, but Chris is immune to her tricks and memory wipe. John, however, is not.

14 Branchland Court is restored and returned to Chris, Graduon, angry at Silvana's abduction, joins forces with Chris.



Akan opens a vortex and Sonichu is teleported to Africa where he is pursued by natives. gives him a ride back to Virginia and he somehow winds up locked in a Country Cookin food freezer.

Chris informs us that in the Cwcville dimension, the US lost the Cold War and Russia took over the nation. Hillary Clinton won the 2016 election but became deathly ill, after which Vladimir Putin became the POTUS. This results in gang violence between the Yakuza and Russian Mafia for some reason. Ian Brandon Anderson becomes the Mayor of Cwcville, but also becomes ill and is replaced by actor Brendan Fraser.

During his time in office, Chris had revoked women's rights and mentions after Real Life Megan "wronged" him, he stripped her of her Megtune Powers and banished her from Cwcville. Regardless she is doing well as a CPU goddess on the island of Krasna.

The Sailor Senshi and Twilight Sparkle aid Chris is learning how to use his powers. Akan had annexed the High School in which the Sailor Scouts studied and it is now a training ground for his troops.

John and Chris travel back in time to meet past-Chris and smack him with a baseball bat to prevent the abolishment of women's rights and because Present Chris was disgusted with him. This gives Sonichu amnesia.

Chris backtracks to tell us that whilst developing his powers, he and his new friends were on the hunt for E115 material, said to be very rare and powerful. The American Sailor Scouts from the infamous Saban Moon (which failed to even launch) had knowledge of where to get it as they were apparently all female soldiers (at fifteen years old...) who had been exposed to it, and its exposure is how Chris explains how Saban Mercury was paraplegic (note that Saban Mercury intended to be representation to disabled preteen girls, showing they could be heroes too, opposed to Chris' twisted version.) Most of the Saban scouts wound up passing away due to the exposure, including Mercury, who Chris claims to have personally met, and discloses that her name was Hilda. Hilda, rather than passing away, chose to commit suicide. Before passing, the Saban Scouts all praise Chris and pass on their powers to him.

Whilst attempting to clone Chris so he could dump the responsibility of caring for Barb on it, Chris' Pony OC Night Star took a sample of DNA from Chris that had been laying around since the year 2000, leaving a horrifying question as to just how unwashed his home is. She accidentally clones multiple sexually aggressive Chris-chans to the point where the Ponys must evacuate to Cwcville for their own safety.

John meanwhile has gathered enough E115 to fashion three brand new Sonichu medallions that allow Chris to become Chris-Chan Sonichu. Chris time travels to the year 2000 to find he has been possessed by Satan and become a Nazi and has kept Hitler alive using his own Sonichu Medallion. Horrified at the monster he is in this timeline, Chris kills his Nazi alter-ego, claimed the Medallion, turning Hitler into dust.

Going back in time again. John finds Chris has been taken to "Islam" to have the lustful urges exorcised and such was done by shoving the medallion into his rectum.

Changes at Home
Whilst attempting to return that medallion to Chris, it is intercepted and obtained by North Koreans. Chris discovers terrible things about Cwcville, including him and his Father being real Sonichu born from eggs and the Anchuent Prophecy being real. Chris laments that while Cwcville is currently predominantly Christian, it used to be mostly Athiest or Satanic. Angelica turned away from Christianity and became a Muslim, then converted once more into a Satanist. Blake idolized Osama Bin Laden and became an extremist implied to have ties to ISIS. Wild became a drug peddler who grew weed (which Chris is okay with) and produced Meth in his lab (which Chris is not okay with). Bubbles decided she identified as a muscle-bound black man, which Chris seems to equate to being a "Knuckle-Head" and drew her with the body of Knuckles as depicted in his loathed Sonic Boom series. Punchy, instead of a dojo, hatched in an insane asylum and was detained in a straight jacket, developing an irrational hatred of the obese. Chris tells us he is ashamed of his Chaotic Combo.

On 5 December 2017, Rosechu informs Chris she had been born as a male Pichu and had retained her penis and testes post-transformation until she received surgery in Cwcville (Chris being unaware that medical science has yet to advance to the point of being able to provide transwomen the ability to give birth). Chris is devastated as he had created Rosechu and her evolutionary line to be female-only Pokemon and listened to Britney's "I'm Not a Girl" on repeat as he drew and colored the page. Nevertheless, he stands by her as a transwoman. He goes on to inform us that Sonichu and Rosechu shared their first kiss, not under fireworks, but in sewage and in the process of sharing the virginity, role-played as ice hockey players.

Chris tells us that after he vented about Rosechu being a transwoman on Facebook, it had upset Rosechu and Uzumi angrily confronted Chris about shaming her.

Chris goes on to create Battery-Charge Heart/Miss Anirbas Saffron Chandler who represented the Smach Z handheld console. Due to Chris' misunderstanding of when the Smach Z was released, Blanc and Noire turn their backs on him.

To restore Silvana by rewriting her story and failing, Chris concludes that only Monika can bring her back.

In the meantime, Chris is distressed by John's massive libido and his being married to five wives and impregnating a lesbian couple, and admits in his frustrations he lashed out at people more than once, and that he is not fond of sex at the given moment.

Whilst role-playing a date with Blanc, instead of discussing how the date, Chris being Chris immediately jumps into how he'd fuck her, and Blanc is not amused. She gives him another chance and they discuss authors and politics. She asks him why he is so against Trump, why he favored Hillary and why he is currently not working, similarly to the Father Call.

CWCville vs Australatina
Meanwhile, a CWC Defense Soldier shits on the border between Cwcville and Australatina and is killed in retaliation. War is declared whilst Chris tries to make peace.

Tails and Bionic help testify against Jamsta in the accusation that he had been sexually molesting Punchy. Chris doesn't believe it, despite overwhelming evidence. He is found not guilty and the citizens, outraged by this miscarriage of justice, start to riot.

Australatina is beating the everloving piss out of Cwcville and their Russian allies (weren't they the enemy?) and Simonla & Wild's home is destroyed. All of the Autobots are destroyed, including Optimus and Bumblebee - except for the severed head of Son-Chu. It's implied that the destruction of Chris's IRL car impacted this choice of plot.

Australatina is the victor in the battle, and the swastika on the page implies they enforce a Nazi regime (contrary to their real-life equivalent). Chris grabs all of his level 100 Pokemon from his various Pokemon games to try and counter them. He refrains from using the Electric Hedgehogs because the Nazis will kill them. He also attempts to create a portal to reach his Skylanders for aid. It is noted that the Nazis shoot to kill Pokemon, but Inuyasha (his Blaiziken) and Arial (his Primarina) have escaped. It's noted that all wild Pokemon in the area have been gunned down.

Though Silvana has been "deleted", Magi-Chan sheds hardly a tear for his beloved and decides to get his bone on with his father figure, Mewtwo and marries him.

Battery Charge Heart, instead of defending against Australatina, goes impulse shopping and boyfriend hunting. Chris is upset considering she was designed to be bright, loyal and intelligent.

CWCville vs Nazis


The Nazis abduct the 71 special Sonichus and Rosechus and the CPUs try to bargain for their release. Simonla is freed but has come down with a terrible syndrome. The Nazis attempt to immolate her, but Chris throws himself in front of their flamethrowers, using his powers to withstand the heat.

Chris admits that in the past (referring to his past self as though he were a separate character) he was a sex-obsessed lunatic and his lustful sins were bringing Cwcville down. It's implied his sins are contagious and are infecting the survivors of Cwcville including the Sonichus and Rosechus. Magi-Chan confirms that Akan has been passing himself off as God and Jesus to mess with people.

In "Sound Mind" he proclaims he no longer believes in God and Jesus in favor of the "Console Patron" - essentially saying that he will live and die by a subpar Japanese game/anime franchise.

John has been funding Cwcville through heists in the video game Payday 2, by way of Magi-Chan converting his winnings into real money.

In Equestria, the sexually aggressive Chris Clones have mutated to become slimy and bulbous and chant "JULAAAAAY". John, Megan, and Neptune lure them away from Equestria and destroy them with napalm and the ponies return to their homes.

The CPUs beat the Nazis out of Cwcville as the war officially comes to an end on the 21st.

However, the Sonichus and Rosechus are still in enemy custody. Chris reveals that when an Electric Hedgehog dies, they do not pass into an afterlife, their soul instead slips into an egg that appears where they had initially hatched, and upon hatching, are born with the same personality and memories of their previous selves - like the Chao in Sonic Adventure 2. This means the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon are immortal and death is, at worst, an inconvenience. Silvana, Bob Chandler, Simonla and Zapina rehatch and assert their intention to find their families and continue their fight.

As a favor to Blanc, Chris reads "The Man in the High Castle" by Phillip K Dick.

John and his friends are ambushed by the Nazis. They survive, but Chris is pissed off. Doktor Herr Wilhelm Strasse interrupts a conversation Chris is having with the CPU Vert to mess with him, Chris again is pissed off and swears he will kill every living Nazi. He notes that Monika is also working with Nazis. Chris announces that he can be in multiple places at once, and every time a Nazi misgenders him in German, Chris sprays them with his blood which apparently melts them.

The Nazis occupy Equestria and the Mirror pools lose their ability to clone.

Chris pens a handwritten letter to Discord to appeal for aid, and is told "No". Chris shows up to bully him into helping them and is still met with refusal until he decides to turn Discord into stone until he complies by killing every single Nazi with fatal heart attacks and disposing of their corpses before finally destroying the portals they used to enter Equestria.

Remember when Chris sprayed all the transphobic Nazis to melt them with his blood? It didn't actually work, instead it just "dirtied" their "pure white" blood and became sub-human Electric Hedgehog Pokemon so Chris can point and laugh. Ashamed, the Nazis leave Cwcville. They regroup in Germany where it's revealed that all historical Nazis have retroactively become Electric Hedgehog Pokemon too. Regardless, Blanc orders them to disband and they pretty much just do as she says.

Chris informs us about the Pokedex numbers of his breeds of Electric Hedgehogs and tells us regular Sonichu and Rosechu age every two years, whilst those with a connection to Chris (i.e. any of them that have had any kind of role in the comic) age every five years, as do their descendants.

Chris tells us he stopped aging at 21 (as did all of his dimensional counterparts) and repeats what he said before about Sonichu and Rosechu being reborn and retaining their appearances, personalities, and memories.

On 18 January 2018, Night Star cries about how her family are being imprisoned in Equestria, and she had been tortured, her tail removed. Chris reminds her she can open portals and must always stand up for what's right, and heals her. Night Star's tail grows back and she becomes a hideous abomination of hedgehog and horse. Fast forwarding to 19 November 2019, Night Star opens a portal, and sends Sonichu and John Yamada through to slaughter all of the Nazis; it is not specified whether time travel is involved, as the next scene takes place back in January 2018.

Tearing down the Rosechu Rape Camps
Meanwhile, on 19 Jan, in the prison where the Electric Hedgehogs are being detained, it appears the Rosechus and Roberta have been raped for repopulation. Christine and Cerah bide their time, praying to the CPU and reserving their strength whilst Rosechu and Roberta appear heavily pregnant. John and his crew storm the prison and decapitate the Warden, drawn in gruesome detail. The prison guards are massacred, mostly by Sonichu who angrily states as he slices them to ribbons that this is vengeance for his family, and that Electric Hedgehogs are not inferior beings. The women are released, and in a disturbing vision, the underage Zapina is shown to have been one of the prisoners, and in a small line from Christine Rosechu, it is implied that Barb was also being held in the rape camp. Sonichu reunites with his wife and daughters, and the girls refer to Chris as their "MeMaw" and thank her for rescuing them even though he was not involved. Roberta is implied to have done something wrong as there is talk about her having learned her lesson about Chris - but the text is cut off and we have so little context that we don't know what she did.

In California, Bob shows up and is teleported to Cwcville where he tells everyone about himself. He then shows himself to Sonichu and co. in his check-Sonichu form and everybody in tears talks about how much they missed him. It is explained that both Bob and serial killer Ted Bundy was reborn as Sonichu and Ted defends Cwcville.

Meanwhile, back in West Cwcville, something drastic happened to the now transformed Nazis while Adolf Hitler was making a speech. All but 100 Nazis around the world permanently transform into Electric Hedgehog Pokemons, rendering their genes and ideology moot. Not only that, their war effort was destroyed as they are unable to use their superweapons and produce supersoldiers. With the surviving Nazis being low-rank or not fully trained, the Nazi Reich dies out.

On 22 January, Rosechu lays three eggs. Roberta follows four days later. The eggs would hatch into three male Rosechus and three female Sonichus respectively. They were promptly kept safe, educated, and battle-trained.

Chris then tells of seven statues of himself around Cwcville and one in the center of the city. Whenever these statues appear, they bless, protect, and power up to every Sonichu species around the world (except the now transformed Nazis). Chris then tells the readers he will travel back in time to rewrite history.

The plan succeeds, Cwcville and Equestria are now back to normal and the Nazis are banished to another timeline. However, after 30 plus years of scanning Homos and surveying the city like Big Brother, Magi-Chan suffered a mental breakdown and causing a tear in the noosphere, causing psionic storms to form above Cwcville. It is made worse with Chris's attempt to seal it.

Coming out as Bisexual
Magi-Chan declares his bisexuality by announcing is marriage to Silvana Rosechu and Mewtwo. He then states that after the tear is sealed, he will marry Chris.

Fast forward to 19 March, the tear continues to worsen. Chris, blaming himself for causing it, activates every power in his hands and transforms into his "Super Angelic Mega Evolved Form". With his Mary Sue powers, he closes the tear like a zipper in four minutes. Exhausted, he softly landed street, telling the Sonichus and Rosechus that he is not drowning and needs to rest.

In an especially long text wall, Chris mentioned that due to Magi-Chan's psionic breakdown, he put Lovely Weather into a coma. As a result, Magi-Chan was partially lobotomized to add robotic bits to limit his psychic powers. Afterward, they tracked down Dr. Robotnik, who was altering the Anchuent Prophecy. Chris and Magi-Chan then travel back in time to stop Robotnik but realized he was not the first vandal. Afterward, they transcribed the original text and destroyed the wall afterward.

Afterward, Chris scolded Magi-Chan in a long, winding rant for endangering their loved ones. Continuing, he blamed Magi-Chan for being the Patient Zero of a Gray Death pandemic, which spread across Cwcville and its surrounding dimensions, killing Larry the Alakazam in the end. Chris then continues how Magi-Chan brought his heart level down to zero for putting 5pg into a coma and erasing her memories and destroying the Anchuent Prophecy, which rendered Chris unable to transform for a year and come to Cwcville for two years.

Then, in another text wall, Chris apologizes to Magi-Chan for being a homophobe and forcing him to scan for them, siting he was stupid and naive for believing he was able to take up the task. Then, he proposes to Magi-Chan to marry him and then kiss him.

Posing with Cryzel Rosechu, Chris declares his marriage with her and Magi-Chan and as a bisexual transwoman. He then tells a story of how he stopped Sonichu's crusade against the CPUs.

Chris and Sonichu rape each other
24 March, Sonichu is seen shooting up the Cwcville shopping center, declaring his anti-CPU extremism. His rampage was interrupted when Chris arrived. In yet another text wall, Chris stated how CPUs didn't brainwash him as Sonichu believed. Rather, they taught him tolerance and embracing his Sonichu and CPU sides. As a proof, the two linked minds so Sonichu can see for himself. Afterward, Chris apologized to Sonichu for neglecting him and plead to him to end his war against the CPUs.

Sonichu listens, distressed as Chris explains that the CPUs did not brainwash him, but highlighted all of the problems Cwcville was facing. Chris also admits to the heinous crime of purchasing and playing a Hexbox One with his very own Gamertag and set of achievements. He goes on to explain that unlike the Chris here, he is not a sex-addict and has been embracing his Sonichu half, and wet his bed and slept in the urine for what that pointless anecdote is worth. He urges Sonichu to open his mind and accept things for how they are and fills Sonichu's mind with his own experiences with the CPUs and his relationships with Magi-Chan and Cryzel.

He asks Sonichu if he understands that the CPUs are not pulling Chris away from him. They are coaching him to become a better person for Sonichu and Cwcville. He implies that Sonichu's random bout of the recent violence is due to his loneliness from Chris's neglect of him in favor of the CPUs and the War. He finishes by imploring him to stop hating the CPU and start loving, referring to him as his son. He pleads with Sonichu to come back to the light, and stop being hateful and violent and finishes declaring his love by pressing a sexual and (by Chris' admission) incestuous kiss on Sonichu.

He promises that he will have sex with Sonichu later, but for now, they have mistakes to undo and makes an attempt to leave, but Sonichu stands his ground and angrily announces that whilst he accepts all that he has just been told, the kiss has given him a hard-on and he wants sex now and in a very out of character demand, orders Chris to come here and "let him come in"

Chris implies that Sonichu has become infected by his own "past sins of lust" and tries to talk him down, but Sonichu instead pushes Chris to the ground and forces his penis inside Chris' vagina. The small end in the corner of the panel indicates that this was at one point intended to end with Sonichu successfully raping him.

Chris gains the upper hand with a double team to confuse Sonichu and manages to knock him to his knees. Chris takes the opportunity to force his hand inside Sonichu's rectum and clenches around the prostate, forcing Sonichu to ejaculate on the floor. Chris lifts Sonichu (hand still inside him) like a sock puppet, restrains him with electrical chains, and announces that he will be punished.

Final Notes
He explains to the reader that Paxton Fettel still saw fit to wage war on Cwcville, so Chris went back in time to prevent Fettel's entry to Cwcville in the first place. The butterfly effect also resulted in the Soviet Union had never dissolved. To solve THAT problem, he went back in time again to ensure that the union broke in 1991 to ensure freedom in the USA. All chronological combats that took place afterward did so. A few nations including Yugoslavia also dissolved.

On 26 March 2018, Chris gathered his Sonichu and Rosechu and began a restoration of Cwcville and work towards the betterment of the Sonichu Rosechu species.

A footnote claims Cwcville's Anthem is "Think" by Aretha Franklin.

Our Wedding special
The polyamorous marriage between Chris, Magi-Chan and Cryzel.

Still canon
On 25 May 2018, Chris tweeted:

However, he deleted the tweets within minutes and the comics were mailed to his Patreon backers on 22 October 2018.

Epilogue
"Regardless, the joke is on Wise, because his slanderous, destructive efforts only strengthened my own psychic links with our world, there."

Chris posted the epilogue on 3 August 2018. Consisting of Chris's perspective of the Idea Guys saga, it is the only portion of the book written by himself.

Analysis
The writing demonstrates the level of Chris's cognitive dissonance on the Idea Guys, understanding that they extorted him and twisted his fantasy world, however, the irony is that Chris dives even further into the lore the Idea Guys had established, such as the CPU Goddesses and his polyamorous marriage, because he still believes their changes to have actually occurred in his fantasy world.

Additionally, he begs Commodore International to build a new console to combat the incoming threats of Rei Ryghts, CPU of the Atari system. Keep in mind that the company behind it has been defunct since 1994. Also worth noting is how he credit Magi-chan for thwarting the Idea Guys, rather than attributing to the efforts of Null and The Captain. Overall, it only seems that Chris only rejected the changes he didn't like and cemented his failing sense of reality.

Comic pages
Chris has an unusual numbering system for the pages, adding in subpages and separate sections. The page count will be split between Chris's numbering and the overall page count.