Kacey Call 5

29 August 2009

"...It's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just was dumb on the subject; I never learned about that sort of thing."

- Chris

Summary

 * Chris just finished getting a "tough talkin' to" from Kim about getting a job; he already can't remember what she said.
 * Kacey did research on how Chris can still receive the tugboat while having a job or something; he doesn't listen.
 * Counselors at PVCC told Chris that they could get him a job; he didn't listen.
 * Chris doesn't know what Financial Aid is; he promises to Google it.
 * Chris didn't have any control over his own money until he was 23.
 * Chris whines some more about being blank-minded and confused.
 * Chris says he's willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.
 * Chris lies about how much he spends on the PSN. Compares buying game add-ons to having a magazine subscription to try and make Kacey understand it's not a big deal.
 * Chris doesn't know anything about college because that happened yeeeeaars ago.
 * CADD WAS HARD WORK BURNED INTO HIS PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
 * Chris took tennis and ice skating classes in college.
 * Chris took accounting and/or marketing classes first, then "years later" he found out there were not enough jobs available in that field so he switched to CADD.
 * Kacey says Chris is basically wiping his ass on his CADD Degree; Chris says "that was uncalled for". Only says he understands so that Kacey will shut up and let him leave.

Video
Chris: Hello-o?

Kacey: Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

Chris: Hey Kacey. How are you?

Kacey: I'm OK.

Chris: I'm OK too. [content sigh] So um...

Kacey: Um...

Chris: Anything on your mind right now?

Kacey: What?

Chris: Is there anything on your mind right now?

Kacey: Yeah, um, did you go apply for jobs like I said?

Chris: Oh yeah. I go- I wen- I uh, uh, application at Wal-Mart. Uh, I'm gonna wait 'til... I'm gonna...

Kacey: [interrupts] That's good. Did you do it in person?

Chris: Uh, no, I filled- no, I went online and did it. Filled it out for the Charlottesville store.

Kacey: OK, cause, um, I did some research for you. Um, about working with your disability. And actually, um, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Like you could- they put you on a trial work period or they- and they can extend your period of eligibility. Like, you could be making... um... like it doesn't matter what you make during the trial work period, like you'll get both still, your uh, your tugboat and your, uh wages. And, even afterwards if you're not making enough, like you can get both. It actually goes by what you make, not by how many hours you work.

Chris: Hmm... I see.

Kacey: Yeah, I mean that's actually really exciting! I mean, you could be technically making more than me. [Chris tries to interrupt, she keeps talking] Well, at least, you know, right now. [laughs]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Well, I don't know. Um, I'm st- I s- still got to uh, wait to talk to uh, that guy from s- social security...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] Chris! This is straight from the social security site! This is a great opportunity! And even if you make too much money you can still keep your Medicaid, uh, benefits! I mean, how can you not be excited about this?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I dunno... I got- I got- I just talked to Kim and she gave me some, uh, tough talkin' to as well, ya know, about uh, me getting a job and what not, uh... Also talked about uh, old school- also t- also talked about college days and uh, I don- I- I don't remember all the details but it's all- it's all ju- it's like absorbed- everything she told me is in the back of my head. It's- it's tattooed in my head.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, that doesn't really... [Chris tries to interrupt]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It... it's...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: ...that doesn't really sound like you listen to her a lot.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I did listen to her! I did! I did.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But didn't you just talk to her and you can't remember stuff?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [stress sigh]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean, 'cause you told me that Kim calls before I do.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. [pause] Hmm, but anyway uh... mm, let me think... let me think.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But I mean uh- ar- are you- so I did all this research for you, and you don't even... care now?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I do care! I do care. I appreciate it. I do.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well I mean you're- I don't think you're really gonna do anything! I- I mean...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [interrupts] I'm- I- I- I'm doing something! My family knows I'm out to look for a job.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, so what did your family say?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh... This- this- it- they're, they're all like, "Ah, well yeah, you gotta find out how much you're gonna earn, and how this is- how this is gonna- is gonna effect your social security, and uh, if you're going to be able to earn more than your social security..." Ahh...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You need to make a LOT more than your social security, like you need to make... Like, OK. Um... like, um, depending also on... w- you know, how your uh, quote unquote disability effects you getting to work and stuff... Like, they can take these expenses, um, and actually deduct it from your pay. Like so, even if you're making let's say a thousand dollars a month, um, if your disability causes you to have to do things that cost you two hundred a month, you're still- they- they count those two hundred, um, against your pay so you're still making- you know, even though you are making more than you should, they won't count it against you. Like you have to be making over a thousand dollars a month before they're gonna even... Even then they're only gonna take part of it away. They're never gonna take away all of it. Like you'd have to make a LOT more to where it wouldn't even matter. I mean and even if your parents are behind you or not, you're 27, right? I mean, you have to make your own decisions!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [pause] Yeah, I- I do have to make my own decisions, uh... yeah. Als- one of the things I talked to Kim about was like uh, I- I'm often confused with my li- I'm often confused about things that I actually, uh, want or... need. It's been that way for so many years. I mean like...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] Well don't you think it's time for that to change then?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah it- I do need to ah, that's ah- that's something I do need to change.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But I mean, you know, your whole life you're going to be figuring stuff out. There's not a magical upgrade that makes you an adult. I mean, I'm pretty sure, like, at times, my parents still need to figure things out and everything. I mean, we're not computers. We don't work like computers. We definitely don't.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Yeah you're right. You are right, about that. Hmm... but anyway one of my- anyway one of my problems in my mind is like ya know I... tend ta... I tend, I ah, I often do get confused, and uh, feel like I'm lost, and it's like- ya know, and I- I'm not- I have not been sure of what exactly I want in life other than my sweetheart, and my little daughter Crystal that I have dreamed of... And pretty much, ya know, all my life, every time I've been asked "Where do you see yourself in five years?", I always draw a blank!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, maybe that's showing you that maybe you should let go of Crystal and all that stuff. Maybe you should go in a different direction. Maybe you're getting blanked because you're not going in the direction you should be going in.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, but...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You need to focus on more important things.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: And- and that's another thing, I mean ya know, Kim could tell you more about the conversation we had, but uh- but she- she and I talked about that, but also like ya know, even during, even with, even - I have talked to my counselors in Piedmont, when I was working towards my CADD degree and certificate. It's like ya know, yeah sure they can help me get a job, and yadda yadda yadda... um...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Then why didn't you let them?!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [pause] ...Yeah. I- it's jus- I- I have never been really sure what I wanted to go out for. I mean... I- I- ah- [stutters]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] Then you need to get back in school Chris! You need to do something. You're 27. You're- I mean yes, I know people are going to school, um older and older but, [laughs] come on! Isn't there anything you wanted to do even when you were little?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I- I- [frustrated stuttering] I'm thinking about it! I'm mean I'm trying to- I'm ah- I'm ah- I'm trying to make- ah- [stutters]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] C'mon, this is pathetic.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm sorting all this out and I'm thinking about it, and I'm going to do- I'm going to do something. It takes time for me before I can - before I actually - but I AM doing something, you know. I submitted the application for Wal-Mart, and I'm going to do one for Target, and I'm going to do one for Ma-Donalds...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Chris. Remember when I said in other cultures you wouldn't survive? I mean come on. You need to take charge. I mean, you are an adult. You're gonna have to make snap judgments sometime. I mean y- I mean isn't there anything that you wanted to do when you were younger? I mean, even if it's something like making video games! You could probably do that!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I mean, that is one thing, but... I- that- that is one thing but...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] I mean you already have some CADD stuff, you could learn how to program them and stuff.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, but unfortunately they don't teach that- those kinds of classes at like, uh, Piedmont. I'm not sure if there are any colleg- if there are any classes around here...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] Whatever! They have stuff online you can take, Chris! You have no excuse!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah but- yeah, I know, but I'm kinda reluctant on taking classes online.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: No, OK, there's no but! You either don't have an excuse, or you do have an excuse!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK, fine, I don't have an excuse. But... so many options, I'm not sure- I'm not sure wha- I'm just not sure where to begin.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: A lot of people are. Why don't you go talk to um, I mean if you can't go to PVCC, why don't you go to someplace else that's closer? Um, or why don't you go somewhere in D.C.? I mean... it would be easy for you to get housing. [pause, Chris sighs] Why don't you take a couple different classes and see? Or, or I mean, I bet you don't even research this sh- stuff.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [pause] I have- I did- I do research- I do researching ya know... I've tried- I've gone onto social security dot gov, website... but I don't... I... I cannot understand it, I... [Kacey talks over him]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Okay, but I'm talking about school. Chris. [Chris tries to interrupt] Chris! CHRIS! Listen to me! No! Listen to me! Do you not realize the opportunities you have? Do you not realize they will pay for your school? They will pay for your boarding? They will pay for your transportation? Do you know how much I would KILL for that going through school right now? And I'm going to have to go through med school! And you are just SITTING on your ass wasting that shit when the government will BEG you to take it! WHAT the hell?!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I didn't even know I had those options and I'm not sure how to activate those options. I never learned!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Go to a school! Talk to a counselor there! Talk to an adviser there. Fill out your, F-A-F-S-A. I mean, come on. There's SO much that you could just reach out for and... Ugh! I mean like, you could do anything!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ah- Ah, hold up there... S-A-S-A?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Your FAFSA? Come on. The financial aid application? How do you NOT know... [laugh] about... I- I- [cracks up]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I- I- I do not know that. I've never even heard of that.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: How do you not hear ab- ...Are you serious?! It's financial aid! You- you- you went to college!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I've- I- I've heard- I've heard of financial aid but I never heard of S-A-S-A.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You haven't heard of a FAFSA? That- you HAD to have filled one out. I mean, did your parents pay for your college outright?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, my parents did pay for my college classes.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [sigh] Just go to a college. Just go to a financial aid office or just... Google-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: -it. It's F-A-F-S-A. [Chris echoes, "F-A-F-S-A"] And it's so easy to do online. It so is. All you need are... you know what? You wouldn't even need much of anything 'cause you don't pay taxes so you don't have any W-2's or anything, or W-4's, so, pfft. And you're old enough to where your parents won't matter. So you could probably get - I mean you have no income and you're on disability, you - oh my God, they would pay for everything!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [pause] Well I will look into that. That was S-A-F-S-A?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: F-A-F-S-A.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: ...Hmm. OK, what's the acronym stand for? That will help me understand better.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Are you serious?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ya I'm serious.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: It- it's just easier if you just Google that. I promise you. It- it's gonna come up. It- it's gonna be a dot gov site... [snickers]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK, I will look- OK, I will look that up. And I will look into it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Chris. It's only five letters. [laughing] It- it's okay. Just- or just Google financial aid! That's going to be the FIRST thing that pops up on Google, I promise you!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK. Financial aid, I will Google that. [Kacey sighs] My computer's on the other room. I'll uh, go take care- I, uh, I will- I promise you I will go look into that right after we- right after we finish up here. [long pause] Kacey?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [short sigh] Yeah?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I wa- I mean, it was just kinda like, ya know, I wasn't sure you were there, you know, you just paused for a moment. But yeah, I promise you I will go look into everything-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] I'm just frustrated, y'know.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [pause] Well... i-it's not your fault that I'm a little bit re- that I'm a little bit slow sometimes.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I know, but I mean like, this is stuff you should know. I mean this is- this is frustrating for me. I mean, like, I can understand ignorance, but I can't stand stupidity.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No I- no it's not stupi- no, it's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just- was dumb on the subject, I never learned about that sort of thing.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: How do you not if you go to school? Obviously, SOMEBODY must have talked about, "Hey, I got my financial aid!", I mean, I'm pretty sure you could not go to college, and not even overhear somebody... talk about financial aid.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I- yeah- I've overheard- Yeah, I've overheard discussions of financial aid. But it was like, ya know, I was like picking my classes... and... and I just didn't- I just didn't- and my parents did not make a big deal about it, and I just... didn't...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well it's not up to your parents! It's not up to your parents to make a big deal about it. It's up to YOU to grab your future! [long pause]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [sound of distress] ...Yeah, it is up to me, ahh... there is a lot for me to think about. Yeah, but I wa- but I will Google financial aid and I will, I will, uh, research that. Hm... And then- make it- make it- mmm, sort out what I really would like to do, and... mmm, do it. [pause] Damn incoming ca- ! [audio warps]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [sounding tired] ...What?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [indistinctly] I think I might have touched a thing, wait. Um...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: What?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Okay, are you still there?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, I'm here.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I had an incoming call from a- from some 404, 67-something... it was a long number, obviously long distance... it was like...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: 404?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No... four- f- four-four... uh...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Okay you- Hold on hold on, tell me it?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I don't know, it's like, four four- something. Hm.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Um, no, go ahead and look up-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It- it- anyway. Anyway. Anyway, it was like an incoming, it was incoming, and it was like, it was interrupting you, bothering me, you know. I got an incoming call-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] Was the 404 an area code?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh... it was like 447. I think... I don't, I'm not- [audio warps] -that might not be correct.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Okay, there's a big difference between that and... [trails off]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ehh. Well never mind, never mind the phone number, the point was, i- it- the call was incoming while I was talking to you, and it just makes a beep, to my, to the speaker on my cell phone. And it just bothered me. [pause]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Uh-huh.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [sounding excited] Two new voicemail! Shaddup, phooone, I'm talking to my- [pause] -talkin' to Kacey here. Dang phone, right? I mean, I'm sure you've had problems like that...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You're talking to your what?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm talkin' to- Kacey.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: No, you said, "I'm talking to my ____" -you're talking to your what?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [sounding defeated] I- I'm talking to my friend.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [in a small voice] OK.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Just making sure.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Okay, you have the right. Yeah. OK. Anyway, yeah- I wi- I will, uh- yeah. I will... stay on track, googling financial aid after we finish up here.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But I mean, you need to- you need to trust me on this. I mean, I'm not gonna- make you lose your tugboat. Not- not that I approve of it! Just to let you know, I mean, I think it's great to help get people in the right direction, but you can't be on it for the rest of your life. I mean, you've already been on it what, since you've been eighteen? That, that's kind of pathetic, Chris. I mean, I'm- I'm paying for you to sit around and do nothing.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [confused] Um... yeah wait a minute, paying for it when I was eight- no wait a, wha- what- What about paying for it when I was eighteen, from eighteen?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I'm a taxpayer. My money goes towards that.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, before that. You said something about, uh, something happening when I was eighteen?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You- you've been on this since you were eighteen, correct?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh, the social security. Um... uhhh, yeah but the money was going to my parents, and uh, they did not redirect it to-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: It's still coming out of my paycheck.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It was not redirected to me until after- I think I was like 23, something like that. [pause]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: ...What was that?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I do not think they redirected it toward, redirected the money towards me until after I turned 23.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I thought that your money still went to your dad.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah... the ma- I mean, it's like you know, they- uh, yeah, they had me on the disability since I was born, and my- and the checks were going to my mother and my father. And then-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Wait, since you were born?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Okay, well, maybe since I was diagnosed with autism.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I was about to say, 'cause, you- you can't just tell a child has autism once they're born!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [stammering] OK well, I'm sorry, I got my- I got mixed up, I- I'm trying- I-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: That's conflicting!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK, I got mixed up, I'm sorry. But anyway, uh, since I was diagnosed with autism-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: How do you get that mixed up? [pause]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [stress sigh] I don't- I'm trying- I'm gathering- OK, my mouth is going faster than my brain.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [cynical laugh] Aha. [another pause]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: ...I'm sure that's happened to you, you know.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Um. I don't know, I pretty much think before I speak sometimes, like, unless I get really, really, really angry.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah- [oddly echoing]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean, I'm pretty much in control of myself, I am... I AM in my late twenties, I have learned how to do this since I was like, eight.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I mean, I've learned how to, uh, control my speech as well, I mean like, my brain... where it can, think with my mouth. It's like, you know, when I'm feeling - frustrated or confused, I tend to, uh, lose control. And, get con- and, yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I thought you said you were way more in control of stuff. Y- you just told me that yesterday.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I - yeah - I am more in control. 'Cause, I have to- [long pause] ...Yeah. ...Mmfh.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I- I don't know. Just sometimes you make this really hard. It- it really does. Because you are my friend, and I hate to see one of my friends do this to themselves.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I- I- I- OK- OK- Yeah, OK, I understand. I'm being difficult to read. And I'm sorry.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: It- it's nothing about you being difficult to read, it's just that I really don't think you're going to do anything.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm going-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I- No! You're actually being fairly easy to read.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [sigh] I'm going to do- I'm going to do it. I'm serious.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Okay, I hope you are.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I will. [long pause] Anyway, getting back - lemme - getting back to, uh, my discussion with Kim earlier. Um... yeah, she pretty much encouraged me to get a job as well. [something indistinct]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Good. I'm glad she did.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Or, uh, Or- or getting- or- or try getting classes, or financial aid, all that, You know. Even to - move out of my house, and she's like - I tell her- I told her in the... streamline? From one memory to another? ...About the- situation in my head? Where often I'm like, blank-minded? And I get confused, a bit... along with that?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Uh-huh.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: And, uh... at points she did make it clear, like, where I should begin? Like firstly, she said I should get a job, and then look at prices of an apartment, or housing? And then consider the bi- consider the, uh, the electricity, the uh, uh, water, the inter- the uh, wireless internet, the cable, all that. And then, I was like, blank-minded, and I was like- that went over my head, but still, I mean, yeah, that's a lot for me to consider.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, I mean, that is something to consider, but I mean, if you do move out on your own, are you willing to give up some of those things? Like, are you willing to have regular cable instead of digital cable? If it saves you a few bucks?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean, are you willing to make those adult sacrifices?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Uh, I guess I'm willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: And you're gonna have to buy less video games. Yo-you just can't impulse buy.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah... yeah... I'm trying to- I'm- I've been working on controlling my impulse as well.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [over Chris] That's good, cause you really need to. I- I think you really need to, cause you can't spend hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Um... yeah. I don't spend- I- I- That would be an exaggeration right there, spending hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You said two thousand dollars, and the PS3 hasn't been around that long. [chuckle]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: It's been around for over two years. But anyway, yeah, hundreds a week that IS an exaggeration.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [sighs?]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I've actually had mine since like March 2007.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Uh huh.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, but anyway, I- I don't- anyway, if I spend money on the PlayStation Network, it wouldn't be any more than 5-10 dollars a week.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, I mean, it's not just, you know, your PSN stuff. I'm pretty sure you buy actual games. Uh, you know, so I mean that's gotta add up. I mean if you uh-only have 2000 on your PSN, imagine how much you've been buying for uh, like things like the Wii, and things for your PS3, like, you know, guitar hero controllers and the actual games and stuff. I mean, y-you probably spent m- uh- you if you spend just as much on those things on your PSN, that's $4000 in a year or two. That's ridiculous.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [sheepishly] Yeah, I can see that.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Th-that's pathetic.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Hm... [long pause] Um... [another long pause]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean, you know, that's a down payment on a car, Chris. [frustrated chuckle]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Okay, I guess you're right, I guess that is pathetic.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Tch, you're damn straight it is!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [sigh] Eehh, but for the record though. Most of the- when I buy stuff on PlayStation Network, it's mostly like, you know, addons for Guitar Hero or LittleBigPlanet. Or addons fo-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But that's where they get you.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Well, for- or addons for the games I do have. I've- I actually am up-to-date on my add-ons for Burnout Paradise, by the way. I uhh... yeah I don't buy new games at like GameStop, or used games at GameStop. The game disks, as much as I do the uh, add-ons.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But still, you have- I mean, just to even get the add-ons, you have to actually have to have the game.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, but still. I mean that saves me- that saves me trips to the GameStop to go buy a new game.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Games are expensive Chris! I know how expensive games are. You can rack up that much easily by getting less you know, than you do on the PSN. All it takes is a three games and look! There goes almost two hundred dollars. [Skype sound]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Hm... now that is an exaggeration right there. I mean...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: They're like $60 each. Three games would be $180.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, but then you wait a while and then they go down to like 20 or... 30 or 20.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: That's a long wait, before they go to 20. That's a very, very long wait.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah... that is quite a long wait. But still, patience is kinda worth it. I mean- I mean sure. You're looking forward to giving me uh- the new Ratchet and Clank game. It's like you can't even- you can't afford it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] Yeah, but I mean. I don't think you're that patient with video games, Chris. Cause I mean, like. You're always- I mean come on! You've got most of this stuff like, brand new, like uh, you're already telling me that you've already put money down at GameStop, so you can't tell me that you're not buying new games at GameStop. You're doing that with the new Guitar Hero. You've- you- you- you know you do that. Don't lie to me.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [stammering desperately] I know, I- OK, I'm not... OK, yeah, you're right. I do do that, with Guitar Hero

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] Then why are you lying to me? I mean, I hate stupid lies the most. What the hell Chris?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Okay, think about it this- okay, you're starti- okay, say you started with Sonic the Hedgehog on SEGA Genesis, then you wanna go out and buy...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [frustrated] What does that have to do lying stupid things to me? You- y- ugh!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Oh, OK, OK. OK, scratch that. I mean to say, like [pause] It's like when there are more and more additions from the beginning of the US service since the first game then it continues on from one game di- one game cartridge or disk to another, and it's like, or it's consider- it's comparable to like, a magazine subscription.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [pause] Chris... I- I just don't know. You- you're sounding- you're starting to sound like you need these games, or else. I mean, why do you have to keep getting them? I mean, does it bother you that much when you don't have them?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [sigh] It does not bother me... [sighs again] OK, it bothers me a bit.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Chris, that's addiction. You know that right?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, but... It's not like a...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Chris, an addiction is anything that produces withdrawal symptoms. It does not need to be something that is bad or horrible. It is- it's just... what?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Hmm... I see.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: That- That's simple psychology Chris. That's something you should know.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Actually, I did not know that. I'm quite- I'm serious when I say that. I did not know that.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I can't believe you didn't even take most- you know, simple prereqs in college.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Um... pre-REPS?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Prerequisites? Chris! How do you not know about college stuff, but you have a degree?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Uhh, if I took prerequisites- if I took prerequisites that was in... years ago back in 2000. And it's not like I can remember a small detail like that. I mean, it's-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [freaking out] That's not a small detail! Tha- that's college! What?!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Well, my parents did not make a big deal about it when they helped me get into college.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: It doesn't matter- No no no no! Prereqs are not... it- they are not through your parents. They're through the college, just... I mean I... can't buy that you got a serious degree without having to do serious prereqs like that. What did you say you... I- I don't know. Whatever!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I think you mean Comput- I think you're looking for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. Or CADD.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Okay, how many years is the degree?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [sigh] It was a four-year degree, but I ended up earning-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: How did you get a four-year degree without any prereqs like that? How?!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I sure I- I'm sure I probably took prerequisites, but I did not realize that that's what they were called... I did not know that- that they were called that word-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You- You had nothing to do with any of your schooling beside showing up, did you?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Showing up and doing my hard work!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Hard work?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, I- I did my work to the fullest of my energy. Every single- every single screenshot from the uh... gettin' in front of the computer, working towards- working on the projects for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design on the- and all that. Even then, when I fully designed the CWCville shopping mall. Both stories, all the stores, and the mayor's office. One step at a time. Every single click, every single detail. It's all... burned in my photographic memory.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, then why can't you put that energy into getting a job or getting a better degree? Haven't you ever thought of getting your masters? Or anything like that? I mean- I mean, do you even remember anything from school? Besides that mall?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I remember a lot of things from school.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Like what?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [really long pause] Yeah, I do remember that I had to- er- I had to take the certain amount of classes. I had to take a physical education class and art classes.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You had to take a physical education class in college?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, I took two actually. Tennis and ice skating.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [surprised] OK?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I think I told you about the ice skating. That- that was- that [indecipherable]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I- I heard- you told me you went ice skating. But I didn't know that was a college course. I mean, I'm sorry. I am not paying college money to go fucking ice skating! I'm sorry.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I mean, that's the first time I ever learned to skate, of any sort. Even though I tried roller skating on my s- on my own one time, I just end up- I just kept falling. I didn't get much done out of that. But-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah- it- it takes balance.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, and differently-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, it's really really really hard to fall on something with four wheels.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Really really hard to fall on something with four wheels?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, roller skating's like, way easier than ice skating or rollerblading.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, unfort- yeah, I rephrase that. I mean, uh- I did not have roller skates. I had roller blades.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Roller skating and rollerblading are two totally different things. You know that, right?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, well I mean. When I want to learn how to roller skate, I just thought, you know, they have- cause they have- they're- they got the wheels on the bottom.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [migraine sigh] OK...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [interjecting more] But that was so many years ago.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, do you remember anything substantial from school? Besides you made a mall and... you made a mall.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I remember... taking my accounting classes for the first major I picked out. Even though I was confused, and lost, when I was- when I picked it out. And can't say any more cause I told her about that fresh from my memory. I talked with her earlier tonight.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Why don't you go back into accounting? It's really not that bad of a job. It's not like you'd be getting a degree in philosophy or something.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I don't even remember- I- I don't even remember if it really was an accounting degree, I think it was something else. Something like marketing or something. But then, years later, my father and I talk to my- talked to my couns- talked to my counselor- my guidance counselor. Eh, yeah. 2002, something like that. Anyway, turns out there were not as many jobs that that degree could get me, and uh, then there were more jobs available for Computer Aided Drafting and Design, so my father encouraged me to switch over because-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well obviously that's done you a lot of good. Cause you're not getting those jobs. You can't even find them. You can't even google them.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Because I was- Because I'm very avid with computers that's why- and then I made the switch, and I just did, I agree with that-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Apparently you're not very adept at computers if you can't even google something.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I can google things!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Then why don't you do it?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I'm going to google the financial aid. And look for the S-A-F-S-A, F-A-S-A...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: The FAFSA. That's-

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, I remembered that! And I'm going to do it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [pause then sigh]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Anyway, yeah. Anyway yeah, switch- it was a major switch, but yeah, at least the credits are transferable. And also I do remember something from my accounting class. You know, the first-in, first-out method-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You do know that if you already used credits towards a degree they don't count, right? Like, you're gonna to have to start over.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Wait, what?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You can't transfer them. They've already gone towards a degree. Chris, seriously!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: This is like- this is like years ago. And those credits did transfer from my [unintelligible] major to my next major.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupting] OK OK OK OK. Chris, Chris. How long have you been out of school?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I would say over three years now.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Then most of your stuff isn't gonna mean crap anyway. The classes expire. They will make you take them over. That's a problem I'm going through right now. You're probably not gonna be able to transfer anything. You're gonna have to start over.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [sighs] But I've already got the degree and the certificate.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Doesn't matter, then that's over! E-e- I mean, some things are just not transferable. I- I can't believe that you do not know how this works.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [pause] Yeah, I was pretty much there to learn what was going on during the time and... yeah, my father did most of the bra- most of the brain- most of the brainwork there. I was just mostly- um- I was- I mean- it- in 2000-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So what? You're gonna let them do that for the rest of your life? You need to know things. You need to be informed. [Chris sighs] I-I- It's up to your brainwork. I- It's- You might as well have never gone to college. Look at you!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, but at least I went to college and I earned a degree.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: It doesn't matter! No, no! OK, I think people who go to college and waste their degree and waste their potential are way worse than people who never went to college and have hard work, and they have jobs, and they pay on their own. You can not act like you're better than people just because you went to college and did some crappy degree. I mean you- No, no! Even when I was working and not in college, I was still doing way more than you were!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: You know, there are a lot of people who actually have earned their degrees, and get their [interrupted] other things as well.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupts] And you're not one of them, it doesn't matter! You're not even using it, you might as well not have it. What's the point of having it if you're not gonna use it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I will be using it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Now you're not. Y- You won't even figure out how to- Chris, you- Ugh! Your resume is full of Sonichu and Rosechu! It has- you haven't even mentioned your degree!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I did, under the educational references.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: What does that have to do with anything. You need to have priorities. Your CADD degree has nothing to do with Sonichu and Rosechu.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: It allowed me to design the buildings and fro- get a better scale- and better- and get a better perspective.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You do not need a CADD degree to be a comic artist! It- it- it is worthless. You are wasting your degree. You are pissing on it. You might as well wipe your ass with it!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: That was uncalled for.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: That is NOT uncalled for. You are wasting it. This makes me so angry! You don't know- I am so big into education and knowledge and all this stuff, and you have so many resources, things that I will kill for. And I mean... doing your art on paper is different than drawing on a computer. You're not using a tablet or anything like that to make Rosechu and Sonichu, and even then, even the buildings, that's not even CADD work. I-I- I don't know what to say, I'm just so angry!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [sigh] I don't know what to say either. I'm speechless.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: That's the problem!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [pause] Yeah, I don't know a lot of things, that's the problem.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean, if you wanna be a comic artist, get an art degree. Go to art school. There are art institutes everywhere.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [sigh] Yeah, I guess so (on the priority?)

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: If you think you're as good as you think you are, you- they will accept you right away. Make a portfolio for art school. Take online classes. Why don't you at least google portfolios for art schooling, and you're gonna have to have more than Sonichu and Rosechu in there. They're gonna want some still lifes and real lifes too. But if you [Chris tries to interrupt] -OK, if you want to go the Sonichu and Rosechu route, you're gonna have to make this. You're gonna have to do that.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: [sighs very quietly] Yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [Also sighs] I mean... I just don't know. I mean, people just aren't gonna do this stuff for you. And if they do, they shouldn't, because they're- they're only hurting you. You have to stand on your own two feet.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah... and you said financial aid can help me get housing and uh...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Nonono! Financial aid helps pay for your schooling. But the government, since you are on disability, will help you with housing. They'll help you with school payments. I mean, you can get so much, because they want people like you to help themselves, so you can get off that tugboat. That's the whole point. They are going to put more effort into you, so that you will stop sucking on- you know, sucking up their money. And you will be a productive member of society. That's their goal. The-this whole program is supposed to help push you, not for you to live off of your whole life.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I understand... I understand that. And yet I still- (spent time) at the Social Security office, into and addition to uh- in addition to the job thing. And I appreciate you doing your research for me. And I- I've kept that in my memory as well.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, I hope you actually use it. Maybe I'll e-mail you the web sites.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: If you have any questions, you call the number that's on there. Or you can even ask me, but I'm not gonna do the whole thing for you. You have to do this. Kim's not gonna do this for you either.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I understand.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean, and especially with this trial work period. Let's say that they allow you to make as much as your monthly payments. That would be like, what $1,600 a month. You could put 800 of that away and you- you know, it's extra. You could- I mean, you- you have so much, and it pisses me off because I wish I could take it and be like, "You know what? I know how to use this, and I will." You know, give it to someone more deserving.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, I wish I had your knowledge.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I had to fight for this knowledge. Nobody helped me. That's why I'm doing this so late. You're gonna have to do it too, before it's too late. I mean, I earned my knowledge.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah... I'm gonna do it too- I'm going- I'm going to earn my knowledge. And-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You can't have these stress days. You can't have these mental rest days. You're- You're going to have to work hard at it hard; every day, every second of your life.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah... I get it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I hope you do, I really do. Because I don't want to see one of my friends fall so f- hard.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: I understand. I appreciate your concern.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK. [pause] I hope I've given you a lot to think about, but I'm gonna go ahead and go. Cause I have to work and- you know, and I have homework and stuff. I'll try to call you tomorrow.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: OK. I understand if you won't be able to. But you know-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I'll- I'll e-mail you at least. OK?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah, all right.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, I'll let you know if I can or not.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: And I'll- I'll google the financial aid.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, good, good. Now remember it's not- it's nothing wrong for asking for little help, but don't let people do everything for you.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: Yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, all right, bye.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris:: All right, stay safe. Bye [hangs up]