05142010

05142010 is a 15 May 2010 video where Chris bores his fanbase by discussing the murder of college lacrosse player Yeardley Love. Love attended the University of Virginia located in Charlottesville, which seems to be the only reason why Chris knows of or pretends to care about her.

In the past, Chris has stated that he's willfully ignorant of current events (in one of his IRC fan chats, he explained that he hates "bad news") and hearing him discuss something of national interest is a rarity. After this, he goes on to blame the trolls and autism for his problems with females.

In this video, a new shirt emerges which seems to say "I got what I deserve." However the last word is partially illegible due to it being stuck between his ever-expanding rolls of stomach fat and his man tits.

Also of note in this video is the shocking realization that "women will not fall into [his] lap"-- an event which he has counted on happening for years. Confirmation that Chris is getting outside help? We may never know.

Another lacrosse player, named George Wesley Huguely V, was arrested and is currently serving a 23 year sentence for 2nd degree murder.

Video
"I can't just expect... women that fall into my lap like that."

Transcript
[A loud fan is humming in the background.]

Captain's log, the 14th of, uh May, 2010. [adjusts his glasses] I would like to take this, uh, brief moment to... talk about, uh, a loca- local... recent events. Like, uh, yeah, I understand... recen- I understand recently that there was a girl who was, uh, murdered at UVA by her ex-boyfriend. She was on the lacrosse team. [glasses removal] It was very sad... for a- for a woman. He just kicked the door in and banged her head against the wall, and totally ruined her right side and- right side of her head. She died from that.

And then she- and then he tooked her computer, 'cause apparently there was some... there was an email on there that he sent her. And he didn't want that to get out. Sure it got out by now. [pause] That's very sad. I h- and I, uh, hope that- I hope that, if they haven't done so already, that the lacrosse team for UV- for UVA... wins, in memory of that- in memory of that girl.

And yeah, it was not an accident. He- as, as so that the, uh, dude claims to say as it was. 'Cause if he had not- if he had no intention of killing her, he would- he would not have banged her against the wall. No accident. He should get a whole- he should get like 20 years in jail. That's what he deserves for that. He deserves jail time and hard time... banging rocks, making license plates. So he can repay... debt to society for... the shock from this girl's murder.

And also, uh... yeah, uh, also the other events around the world, uh... yeah, slip my mind right now, but... I am- well, I do watch the news. And, uh, when I have a thought about a recent event I feel is of, uh... good tal- of, uh, worth my talkin' about, then I will. I will record it, and I will... talk about it.

And also, yeah. Autism another- a little mention about that from my point of view. Uh, ap- apparently, uh, not- not just- uh, the fact that we are unable to soc- unable to socialize... but at least from my point of view, uh... in a crowded- in a crowded event or section, very crowded, where it's not easy for me to get much attention... I- I just wa- I just likely tend to freeze up vocally. I, uh, I can pretty much, uh, do body language fair enough, but it's like... can't get a word out... of my throat. Even, not even so much as a hello.

[puts his fist to his forehead, apparently stressed]

I am not a bad man. I am not- have no... intention- uh, anything negative of that sort. I'm just ver- I'm just... damn shy from the autism. Freezing me up. And I am working on that. I just... need he- I just need help from... my—I just need help from my fr- from my real friends, real people... 'Cause I can't just expect... women that fall into my lap like that. I mean, if was that easy, then- if it was that easy, then... at this point, especially over the Internet... Definitely be an action of a troll, so... I can tell- I can tell the difference right there.

Made me paranoid ... you did... damn trolls.

[puts his glasses back on] Leave you all with that for today, and, uhh... wait 'til another day when I have another thought about recent events. [flashes the peace sign, then reaches to turn off the camera] Have a good day.