Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV



Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV is a video Chris uploaded on 25 September 2010. Chris addresses the video to Lars, an ex-boyfriend of Chris's latest sweetheart, Jackie, who had been spreading a nude photo of her around the Internet. Jackie wanted Chris to "scare the crap out of Lars" so that he wouldn't trouble her again. Chris proceeds to sink a LEGO boat, apparently with Lars aboard. The grand finale is Chris destroying the boat and some LEGO characters with his feet.

Barb makes a rare appearance at the end; Chris later told Jackie that she was clearing out stink bugs from their filthy home.

Of note in this video is further signs of Chris's rapid aging. His hairline is further back than it ever has been, though it appears Chris may have resorted to growing his hair out to hide his premature balding. However, the way it looks makes him look creepier than ever before.

Video
"The consequences will never be the same"

- Chris on breaking LEGO

Transcript


Good afternoon. This message goes out to an ex of my... dear belove- my dear beloved sweetheart's, who goes by the name of Lars. Who had a session [means to say "an obsession"], with...model boats! [Presents Lego boat] And here is a Titanic-like boat! He is piloting it! Let's see what happens to his boat!

[Moves "boat" down to an inverted Lego board]

[High pitched voice] "Oh, look at me! I'm sailing in my Titanic-like boat which was originally for my girlfriend! Who is now Christian's girlfriend! And today was our anniversary! This twenty fifth of September - Oh no! What this! A ciberg!"

[Wails and breaks boat apart]

It gets better. You know what. Because... Here comes the demolition team that finds... th-the remains... of the sunken ship. [Chris clumsily moves the camera down, revealing a skeleton minifigure lying next to the pieces of the boat.] [Steps on the "ship"] Boom! Boom! [Cackles] Oh, and here's the captain of the ship! The remains of him anyway! Peoww! [Crushes figurine underfoot, collapsing a small pile of hoarded books and copybooks by accident, then zooms in] Weak as dirt.

[Points upwards] The consequences will never be the same. Lars, you are no match for me and my muscles. [Barb says "Hello"]

[Licks his lips as if about to speak again - video ends]