Sonichu 0

Sonichu #0 is the first issue of Christian Weston Chandler's magnum opus. At this initial stage, the comic was almost entirely about Sonichu and Rosechu, although bits of Chris's life still managed to find their way in.

The "hand-drawn premiere issue" is a special zeroth issue. In the comics industry, zeroth issues are used as either a sales-enhancing gimmick (Image Comics is a notable user of this) or a special preview of work that will not truly begin until issue #1. Given that it previews nothing, which one Chris was going for is probably the former, though given that it's not legally able to be sold, it fails even that.

The comic consists of Sonichu's first three adventures. In "Sonichu's Origin", the core cast of the series is introduced as Sonichu and Rosechu are created. Then, in "Genesis of the Lovehogs", the two protagonists meet and immediately fall in love. Finally, in "Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc", our yellow hero does battle with his first real villain, who but foreshadows the challenges awaiting the hedgehogs in the following issue. Bonus material in Sonichu #0 includes various advertisements for imaginary Sonichu products, "classic" Sonichu comic strips drawn outside of the narrative of the main comic book, and the first "Sub-Episode".

Chris began working on Sonichu #0 by creating the cover on 24 November 2004 (although many of the classic strips predate this). He completed the primary story on 15 March 2005, although he was inspired by real-life events to return to this work and add the first-ever sub-episode featuring himself. In August 2017, Chris posted images showing a revised cover, in which his self-insert was replaced by his ponysona.

Disclaimer Page
"*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic. *"

- The Disclaimer

Sonichu #0 features the first instance of the Disclaimer Page, in which Chris draws a squiggly line of insanity around the definitions of copyright and parody. This page will bear repeating in every subsequent episode and is read before every Videobook.

Synopsis
A wild male Pikachu wanders through a field until he notices catastrophic destruction 5 "mies" (8 kiometres) away in Station Square, where the Perfect Chaos Monster is running rampant. He runs to the city, where he finds Sonic the Hedgehog battling the monster, using the Chaos Emeralds to transform into Super Sonic. Super Sonic then proceeds to fly up Perfect Chaos's anus and snake his way all the way though the monsters digestive system before shooting out of Perfect Chaos's mouth, hurling Sonic directly into the Pikachu, with the resulting collision causing the Chaos Emeralds' energy to mingle with that of Pikachu's, releasing a powerful rainbow (with the wrong order of colors) into the sky.

Fifteen miles away, the rainbow touches down in front of the house of (female) Pokémon trainer Kel, whose female Raichu is caught in the blast. At both endpoints of the rainbow, the Pokémon affected are transformed into hedgehog-like creatures. Kel discovers that her Raichu is now pink, standing upright, wearing a red dress (somehow; as a Raichu she wore nothing), and capable of human speech. She remarks dubiously that this new species of Pokémon is "as pretty as a rose", and thus coins the name Rosechu.

The former Pikachu awakens from the collision with Sonic and, failing to notice his transformation, joins Sonic in the battle against Perfect Chaos. His thunder attack defeats the monster, and the apparently blind gathering crowd mistakes him for Sonic (who has now departed until Sonichu 1) as they cheer him on. Later, after considering his new role in the universe, he names the species he has evolved into "Sonichu", in honor of his brief ally (rather than the fact that the design is obvious plagiarism from Sonic and Pikachu, as many assume).

"I am no longer a Pikachu, so with inspiration, I am now... SONICHU!"

Episode 1 will later on be remade as a LittleBigPlanet level.

Analysis
It's about as bad as you'd expect. Not only is the plot bland, it makes no sense; a Pikachu coming into contact with Super Sonic not only manages to turn that Pikachu into Sonichu, but also creates a rainbow that turns a Raichu into Rosechu? Super Sonic exists pretty much just to create the Sonichus, none of the other player characters from Sonic Adventure show up (not even Amy, which raises even further questions about how Rosechu even exists), and there's a typo on the first page.

Introductions
Cartoon CWC takes some time out of the thrilling saga of Sonichu to provide exposition about key elements of the upcoming stories, with profiles on CWCville (as Chris puts it, the "cartoon world"), Sonichu, Rosechu, Kel, Naitsirhc, Black Sonichu, the Chaotic Combo and Flame the Sunbird. Chris hints at the significance of Chris-chan Sonichu, Saramah Rosechu and Wes-Li Sonichu, and briefly mentions the villains of the series: Mary Lee Walsh and the Jerkops. The greatest attention is given to Christian himself and the fact that he needs a girlfriend.

Episode 2: "Genesis of the Lovehogs"
The bewildering title suggests that this is about the literal CREATION of the "Lovehogs", but it is, in fact, the beginning of their utterly rushed romance. Sonichu is wandering through the forest for no given reason. A week has passed since he was forcefully evolved by the power of the Chaos Emeralds, and he has found that in his larger form he cannot receive adequate sustenance from the diet of a Pikachu (which is nuts and apples). He is also overcome with a newly found sense of loneliness, being the only Electric Hedgehog Pokémon in existence – at least, insofar as he is aware.

Just then, Sonichu notices Rosechu standing by a stream. He is instantly attracted to this similar species of hedgehog, and quietly stalks her as she returns to her home. Lurking in the bushes, Sonichu sees that Rosechu lives with her trainer, Kel, and decides that he can beg this person for food.

Inside, Rosechu complains of her loneliness. Kel generously offers her Dragonite named David for companionship, but Rosey dismisses the offer, claiming the Dragonite is "too big" (infer what you will) and that Kel can have him (again, infer what you will). Just then Rosechu answers a knock at the door to find Sonichu panhandling for change. Immediately smitten, she aggressively pulls him into the cabin and has Kel cook them dinner, a lovely cooked in the microwave – Chris did not think to call it Bruns-CWC-stew.

"As long as birds tweet, you are my lovely heartsweet"

- Sonichu, attempting to be romantic to a girl he met 5 days ago.

Within a few days, Sonichu and Rosechu are inseparable. One night, while staring at the Moon out by the lake, they interlock tails and share their first kiss, in the first of far too many sappy and clichéd love scenes. Some readers have pointed out that, based on how Chris draws this scene, the two appear to be French Kissing.

Analysis
Given Christian's own inability to get laid, "Genesis of the Lovehogs" provides fascinating insight into how he believes romance is supposed to work: boy sees girl, boy stalks girl for five minutes, girl wants to have sex with boy the second she lays eyes on him, happiness ensues.

Advertisement 1
The first of many parody ads appears between Episodes 2 and 3; this particular ad is for two ill-fated Sonichu games for Game Boy Advance: Sonichu Advance and Pokémon: Lightning Version.

Synopsis
We find Sonichu in CWCville Mall, confronting Naitsirhc Giovanni riding a Zapdos that is clutching Rosechu in its talons. When hostage negotiations fail, the battle is on, and Sonichu briefly recalls how the situation arose.

Earlier in the day, Kel took her Pokémon into town to run errands, and allowed Rosechu to go shopping with Kel's credit card. Sonichu was entrusted to restrain Rosey's uncontrollably lavish spending – she is not to exceed $100. But, he quickly abandoned this duty to please his lover. Later in the food court, the couple visited a fast-food restaurant; being female, the feeble Rosechu could only eat a salad, while Sonichu attempted to eat a Baffler Meal and became sick from eating pickles, claiming he did not know the burger came with pickles, even though (unless specified) pickles are one of the main garnishings on burgers. It was at this point that Zapdos ambushed the hedgehogs, capturing Rosey.

Using standard Pokémon fighting techniques (of which Pikachu is incapable), Sonichu shows up Zapdos with his Sky Uppercut and Mega Kick. For the coup de grâce, Sonichu uses Double Team to confuse Zapdos with mirages of himself; he then uses this diversion to rescue Rosey before his duplicates zap the Zapdos, defeating it. Naitsirhc recalls the Zapdos to its Pokéball and swears he will challenge Sonichu again before riding off on a Raikou. Chris evidently believed that a shopping mall is a perfectly natural setting for this kind of thing to occur in.

Not once is it brought up that Rosechu could have easily electrocuted the Zapdos herself. A smart idea was she would find some tool on her person to use on the Zapdos to free herself.

Since this is Sonichu's first public outing in which he is not mistaken for Sonic, he is heralded as a hero by the people of CWCville. Chris makes his debut as a full-fledged character, and, in his capacity as the city's mayor, congratulates the yellow hedgehog. Rosechu thanks her man for saving her, and Kel makes her final appearance until Sonichu #10.

"There he goes... with a grin on his face. In the end, he'll say "One girlfriend please"

- Sonichu on Chris's Love Quest

"Because he'll probably fail again..."

- Sonichu speaking the truth

Later, in the first of many segments that break the fourth wall, Christian and Sonichu leave the mall talking about the high quality of this issue of Sonichu, and Sonichu expresses amazement and incredulity when he learns that Christian's obvious talent has not earned him a boyfriend-free girl. Christian drives off to the Fashion Square Mall to continue his Love Quest, while Sonichu morbidly admires his father's persistence in the face of certain failure. Why Sonichu refers to him as "father" when Chris was uninvolved in his in-universe creation, but Chris's laissez-faire relationship with the fourth wall means that Sonichu (and many ensuing characters) have an inherent knowledge of their real-life genitor.

Analysis
Episode 3 is a good example of early CWCville. Sonichu is just a Mary Sue for Christian to play in a Sonic-inclusive-Pokéworld. Naitsirhc's motivation is that he's GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL for his gangster father, Giovanni. Contrast this with his later incarnation, Reldnahc, or Chris's enemies in the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens.

Classic Sonichu Strips
Pages 28–34 of this issue feature comic strips drawn throughout 2004.


 * 1) 25 years into the future, Sonichu (now evolved into Metonic) recycles a joke from Excel Saga while chopping logs, while Rosechu (now evolved into Vamprosa) compliments his hard work. The title of the strip is by itself a recycling of "Mobius 25 Years Later", an arc from the Sonic comics.
 * 2) Sonichu asks Rosechu how things are going, and she explains she's been busy "being beautiful" but confesses that she hates working so hard at it (Chris evidently believes this is all women do and think about). Sonichu demonstrates his amazing ability to listen to women and respect their feelings (hint, hint, YOUNG LADIES) until Rosey calls out Black Sonichu for stalking them – she was happy enough when Sonichu was doing it, though. This is also the first mention of Black Sonichu – who would not be created until Episode 4.
 * 3) "Christian & Sonichu vs. the Mastermind": Christian and Sonichu defeat Mary Lee Walsh with the combined power of Chris's Curse-ye-ha-me-ha and Sonichu's thunder attack. This would later be revised and turned into the conclusion of Sub-Episode 3.
 * 4) Sonichu and Chris-chan Sonichu rescue Barbara Chandler from Naitsirhc. Barbara is depicted characterizing Sonichu as Christian's son, which would make her the grandmother to and Electric Hedgehog – and making Sonichu and Rosechu guilty of incest.
 * 5) Chris-chan Sonichu is beaten up by Jerkops, under orders from Mary Lee Walsh, whom the reader knows nothing about and whose motives will never be made clear. Rosechu, being female, stands around without intervening, for no clear reason. Her only role is to be exiting a store and yell "Oh no, Chris!". Eventually, Saramah Rosechu, who we have never met, arrives to save Chris so that he can reassure himself that he is still important in the life of a woman he cannot have sex with, with Sarah/Nicole saying she will assist him in his Love Quest, friend zoning him in the end. This Sub-Sub-Episode is later reincorporated into Sub-Episode 7 in Sonichu #4, being the opening to the sub-episode, leaving Mary Lee Walsh/Slaweel to get revenge on Chris (not Saramah, the one responsible for her defeat). Saramah would not be officially in the comic until Issue 2.

Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"
One year and seven months into Christian's Love Quest, he ponders his lack of progress while listening to music on his Nintendo DS. Just then, the enormously fat black Jerkhief towers over Chris, rightfully calling him out and accusing Chris of soliciting sex. Chris is outraged by this correct assessment of his actions and valiantly defends his honor. The Jerkhief summons his Jerkops to handcuff Chris, but his keen tactical mind allows him to spot his assailant and dodge them, somehow causing a Jerkop to handcuff himself. Chris kicks a Jerkop in his duck and backhands another Jerkop square in the face, giving him enough breathing room to transform into Chris-Chan Sonichu.

The Jerkhief responds by summoning his Metal Armor (which only gets a "tick-tock clock" panel rather than a full transformation scene, and a pitched battle begins. Chris-Chan uses Mega Kick, Double Team, Mirror Coat, and Thunderbolt to disarm the Jerkhief, and honorably offers mercy to his defeated foe. But the Jerkhief is without honor; defiant to the end, he fires a handgun at Chris-Chan, who uses Barrier to deflect the pitiful attack.

His enemy beaten, Chris decides to unleash his Special Ultimate Attack, the dreaded Curse-ye-ha-me-ha (known as Shin-Ye-ha-me-ha in edited comics). The Jerkhief initially feels no adverse effect and rises to fight back, but the curse soon sets in; he slips on a banana peel that appeared out of nowhere, knowing Chris couldn't have eaten it, breaks his glasses and learns that his wife has just divorced him over his smoking habit, taking the custody to his kids, house, and everything he owns with her (all of this somehow takes place within the brief skirmish at the mall). The Jerkhief's life is shattered, and Chris makes sure he knows that he deserved all of it. The Jerkhief cries that his soul hurts; Chris responds that he's suffered worse, presumably referring to the soul-rending agony of being forced to stop soliciting sex on private property, ending the comic with "My heart was previously shattered".

Analysis
This is the first, though certainly not the last, time Chris would use his comic to create bizarre power fantasies in which he was victorious in events he was not in real life. Sub-Episode 1, along with the other Sub-Episodes, is reprinted in Sonichu #4.

Note that the Jerkhief is black. Also note that Chris misspelled the title, spelling "-tastrophe" as "-tastropie".

Advertisement 2
Sonichu Adventure, coming soon never exclusively for the Nintendo GameCube! (Note that Chris drew most of the GameCube dress by hand, but likely forgot the "Only for" label and thus had to photoshop it in.)

This ad appeared between the Classic Sonichu Strips and Sub-Episode 1 in the initial release of Sonichu #0 but moved to the back cover on the more recent CWCipedia version. Ads for Sonichu Adventure would continue to run in future issues, all the way through to Sonichu #6.