That Goatee WILL Grow Back



That Goatee WILL Grow Back (officially Christian Weston Chandler - It Took Me Weeks to Perfect that Goatee, but it WILL Grow Back) is a video uploaded to YouTube on 31 July 2009. In it, Chris goes back to his old self after concerns regarding him being a stripeless, medallionless, goatee-sporting impostor by violently failing at shaving while Christian pop-rock blares in the background for emotional effect.

If Chris were smart and knew how to shave properly, he would have used shaving cream (or at least some olive oil), soap, a mirror, and water, or at least buy an electric razor - but because he's Chris, he instead chose a method that probably gave him at least two weeks' worth of razor burn. That he isn't at all bleeding from the aggressive dry-shaving he does probably attests to how greasy his skin is.

Chris did regrow the goatee for a time later in the year, but not for long, and it wasn't styled quite the same way. As of 2024, the goatee hasn't grown back, and following Chris's transgender lifestyle change, it probably never will.

Transcript
[''Chris removes his glasses and speaks inaudibly to the camera as "Lift Up Your Eyes" by plays over him. He puts his glasses down, removes his waistcoat and takes off a medallion inscribed with the phrase "THE TIME OF MY LIFE", which he shows to the camera and then discards. He begins taking vertical and horizontal swipes across his chin with a razor with alarming force and without any cream, soap, or water. The head launches off from the handle, and he picks it back up, reattaches it, and resumes. After a few more strokes, the head pops out again. After further scraping, he seems to put this razor down and pick up a new one. We jump cut to Chris with the new razor, and the head pops out before just barely touching his face. He reattaches it and continues. After more shaving, he stops to check for unshaven areas; he then resumes, checks, resumes, checks, finds it to his satisfaction and the video ends''.]