User:PsychoNerd/Sandbox/Shitty article

Rounding out the Unholy Quintet of White Knights, A-logs, Enablers, and Weens, Carpetbaggers, (sometimes referred to as Cloutchasers) are more successful people in the Chris Chan bubble who attempt to take advantage of Chris' infamy or the events that surround him, for their own personal gain, typically for selfish, dishonest, or immoral purposes. Once deemed as a special breed of Weens, they are now considered their own form of utter annoyance due to their widespread debut during the Post-Merge Era. On top of that, they are considered some of the absolute worst people to have contacted Chris due to their underhanded tactics to take advantage of his infamy.

The main difference between weens and carpetbaggers is that the latter tends to run semi-successful channels, comics, or conspiracies purely for the sake of taking advantage of Chris’ infamy alone. Additionally, whereas Weens tend to be tryhards that fail and make fools of themselves, and therefore are seen as nothing more than a minor annoyance, Carpetbaggers are often successful enough to gain recognition, often gaining online infamy for their dishonest practices. This is also what sets Carpetbaggers apart from all other Quintet groups, in that whereas the other four are full of people that are easily forgotten in Christory, Carpetbaggers leave a much bigger immediate impact on Christory itself, usually in the form of influencing people from the other four groups. Or if their intent for chasing clout is by manipulating him, doing so changes his mindset, which therefore affects his decisions.

People like Ben Saint, Winfield Winfield, and GiBi are deemed as Carpetbaggers due to the ways they took advantage of Chris' online infamy and/or the people around him to gain recognition themselves.

Chris' presence on the Internet
On a continuum between internet nobody and web celeb, Chris would occupy the halfway point. He's documented enough to garner comprehensive coverage on this very Wiki, but not enough to warrant a Wikipedia article. He has been referenced by a multitude of multimedia creators, yet he isn't exactly a household name. He doesn't have the charisma required to be "Kardashian famous," yet he has the oddity.

Because of his status on the cusp of fame, covering Chris can look promising. You already have the community of Chris-orbiters, but there's also a large, untapped market of laypeople, many of whom enjoy true crime media.

Incest
During the Incest Saga, Chris was getting a huge amount of mainstream attention and many sources tried to capitalize off of his new mainstream infamy to profit.

It ultimately takes away the fun of watching Chris
One of the CWCki's biggest mottos is "Nobody trolls Chris better than Chris", meaning that no matter what one plans to do to be the trolling champion, Chris himself still manages to be a greater obstacle to himself than anyone else can. That motto even holds up today.

What several carpetbaggers do not seem to realize is that most of the fun of watching Chris comes from the unusual way he responds to people and events himself.

Manipulating Chris is not in the least bit impressive
If Chris's many, many sagas have proven anything, it is that he is a gullible numbskull that will never learn from his past mistakes. One may notice that many of these sagas involve Chris being tricked into doing something. Therefore, one may be tempted to go down in Christory as the next best troll by posing as a false ally. To make matters better, manipulating Chris has become far easier than it has before, thanks to his inability to discern reality from fiction. To many, this seems like the perfect opportunity to become noticed by local trolls and win some quick popularity. However, such people rarely take into account how menial this will turn out to be.

As much as some people take enabling Chris for granted these days, you must remember that even before the Idea Guys, manipulating Chris was never a new or groundbreaking tactic. As a matter of fact, it is one of the earliest methods of trolling him, as well as the most simplistic. No matter what you do with him, all you need to do is to pretend to give Chris what he wants, confirm a belief he holds dearly, regardless of whether or not you truly feel that way, and then give him directions on how he can achieve it.

BlueSpike, for example, was a 13-year-old troll who wanted to take advantage of Chris's lust for having a sweetheart. Chris mistook him for another sweetheart solely due to his voice, and BlueSpike was able to go under the pseudonym of Julie. He then told Chris that his persona would date him under a few conditions in order to tell him to take part in whatever he wanted him to. First, a majority of the trolling involved BlueSpike having phone sex for hours every night as Chris masturbated. Afterward, he decided to further take advantage of the situation by telling him to shove his Sonichu medallion up his ass, and telling him to record himself having sex with a blowup doll. Does this sound familiar?

The reason why trolls like Blanca and Miyamoto are important to Christorians is not just because they managed to trick a mentally-handicapped man, nor is it because what they did was the least bit honorable in the first place. It was primarily because of the way Chris had responded to said manipulation. Had they only existed today, they would not be nearly as praised, would likely be looked down upon as tryhards, and possibly even disgraced for even attempting to contact Chris. Some notable trolls that used this technique are not even notable for good reasons. Names like BlueSpike and the Idea Guys will still live in infamy for the excessively cruel and unusual techniques they used on Chris to make him harm himself. Aside from that, the last thing anyone would want would be to be associated with a fat, smelly, cross-dressing adult child so out of touch with reality he believes his worldbuilding counts as a real job, just to make him believe that it is okay to continue living like that.

Think about it, if Chris will just believe anything you tell him that easily, sees no problems with being manipulated so long as you act kind to him, and only sees every manipulator as a means to confirm his own crazy theories, do you really think that manipulating him will make you the next trolling sensation? The bottom line is that any attempt to manipulate Chris will not make you stand out from anyone else that has tried to do so, and it can come off as desperate to gain 15 minutes of Internet fame.

Haphazard and dishonest journalism spreads misinformation about Christory
It is essential to remember that the consensus on everything Chris Chan related, as well as how many people are now keeping up with his life story, has changed quite drastically with the new wave of coverage. Consider how people who vaguely heard of him, even mainstream news hosts, legitimately believe that "Chan" is Chris's real last name. It is more important than ever to make sure that the documentation of Christory is done with integrity in mind.

For example, the semi-popular Chris Chan "journalist" GiBi attempted to try his hand at being the first to report information regarding the Bella Saga, even when little information was put out. Ignoring the Conflict of Interest, he did this by consulting Bella herself, who was known to be a habitual liar, especially when it came to her schemes, along with an underaged user in his circle. He then took her word that the Suitress was the one who manipulated Chris into having sex with his mother, even when those who were paying attention knew that he did it of his own volition and that it was Bella who was encouraging him to keep going.

Haphazard journalism can also result in unneeded drama
A major component of Carpetbaggers that separate them from all other groups represented in the Quintet is that they can have a massive influence on how the other four approach Chris, or people related to him.

A major example of this is again from GiBi, who decided to jump on the current Bella bandwagon by being one of the first to document the event. In spite of what little information there was regarding Bella at this time, and despite it being abundantly clear from other sources that Bella was a habitual liar and sociopath, Gibi decided to interview her first and get all of the information regarding the event out of her so-called "hero" in the Chris Chan saga.

Damaging your own reputation
As with the other groups in the Unholy Quintet, Carpetbaggers risk inflicting severe damage to their own reputation when their efforts backfire.