Megan Schroeder

"Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten."

- Christian, Story of My Current Days

"ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did. I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits."

- Megan gives her own view

Megan Schroeder (born 23 July 1986) is a former gal pal of Christian Weston Chandler's, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship with anybody he's ever had in his life, and previously one of four potential sweethearts that Chris met that wasn't a Troll, a fictional character, or his own mother.

Chris first met Megan in the summer of 2004 at The GAMe PLACe, where she and her brother John were regulars. Megan and Chris became good friends, but Chris, being Chris, completely misread their bond as one that could blossom into a true and honest romance. Megan repeatedly tried to set boundaries that Chris either misunderstood or ignored, which led to increasing tensions between the two. This reached a boiling point during the early days of Chris's feud with Encyclopedia Dramatica, in which Chris drew a pornographic image of himself and Megan.

Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, and realizing that he drew porn of her, Megan cut off contact with him in early 2008. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted grudge against her, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by his parents, and his autistic delusions about her scheming with Michael Snyder to have him banned from The GAMe PLACe. Chris's attempted contacts with Megan have dragged on as late as 2018. Thanks to the Idea Guys, he later came to believe that she was a CPU Goddess, much like himself, but Chris never got to speak with her again.

Prologue


"During the late summer months, I picked up and started the Yu-Gi-Oh Trading Card Game (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and John Schroeder. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007."

- Christian

Megan is a typical truly boyfriend-free girl, even claiming to be asexual. She had a few eccentricities, which Chris was more than happy to copy and oblige, namely her fondness for My Little Pony, Sailor Moon, and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on eBay herself.

Megan and Chris first met at The GAMe PLACe in summer 2004, over a game of Yu-Gi-Oh!. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing card games marketed to preteens. It only took a few games and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his sweetheart. Megan, however, did not reciprocate this sentiment. It probably didn't help that Megan was getting Chris to buy things for her like a stereotypical wife nagging her husband:

"Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!"

- Megan, Megan E-mails

Through the end of 2005 and into 2006, Chris obsessed over Megan, writing her into his comic, trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who was uncomfortable with these advances and only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality to Chris, in an effort to prevent his advances. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris continued to hound her. Even when Megan eventually resorted to claiming she had a boyfriend, Chris was not deterred.

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

Sailor Megtune
Megan, like Chris, enjoyed drawing cartoons, and this seems to have caught Chris's eye early in the game:

"Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on my comics."

- Christian, Megan E-mails

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the series of diary entries that Sonichu had become, Megan (later retconned as Meg-chan) soon made her first appearance as Sailor Megtune in Sonichu #5 along with Megagi La Skunk, her own furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "Sailor Soldiers" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (including Megagi) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' Love Quest with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to blast off again. Her influence on the "art" of Sonichu is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more anime style with Sonichu #5, most notably in his character's eyes, which became large and shiny.



Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris critiqued some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for Sonichu #6 by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, Sonichu #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character getting romantic with Chris, as well as being portrayed in a sexualized manner. Chris completely failed to comprehend why she was angry, but did retcon a couple of pages to tone them down. This did not placate Megan, however.

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
"In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."

- PSN Blogs

Megan spent the summer of 2007 in Kentucky, where her brother was taking a summer course in Mechanics. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he still believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown and the prizes for victory, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a PSP and use the trip offered in the contest to win her heart. In the end, as expected, Chris lost (even after extensive cheating), Adam Stackhouse won, and Megan didn't care. Even when Chris began whining to her and others about how Adam and everyone else except Chris had somehow cheated, Megan didn't care either way. This childish behavior eventually resulted in Megan losing her temper with Chris, reprimanding him for his selfishness and inappropriate behavior. Despite being hurt by her outburst, Chris continued to harass Megan in much the same way as before.

Sexual Tensions and The End of Megan
"And, by the way, that is not Crystal whose eyes are censored; that is Megan!"

- Chris, stating the not-so-obvious and burning bridges with Megan for good



In November 2007, Chris discovered his Encyclopedia Dramatica page and begin his one-man crusade against the garbage. In the process, he uploaded a number of pornographic and lewd artworks, one of which was a picture of him fingering Megan with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was his imaginary sister Crystal, which prompted an outraged Chris to try to deny accusations of incestuous desires by revealing that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.

By 12 March 2008, Megan discovered the picture depicting her and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured. On 21 April 2008 Megan wrote an email to Chris saying she was not comfortable being around him anymore, thus putting an end to their friendship.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris brashly attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He later admitted that he created the image in part to suppress the occasional impulse to rape her, and that trying to assert that what she was going through just being in the picture and learning what he could have done was nothing compared to the misery of the trolling he was enduring.

Evidence suggests that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and Lucas indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC. Chris himself has partially confirmed this account on the CWCipedia. It might very well be that ShecameforCWC was the last step in euthanizing a dying relationship, rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

Aftermath
"Too bad I was never just that too all into him."

- Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"

"Megan... WHY?!"

- Christian, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"

Despite Megan telling him she was no longer comfortable being in his presence, Chris was not willing to give up on her. On 11 June 2008, Chris sent an email to a person named Tyler Wane, asking Tyler to deliver Megan the birthday gift Chris bought for her (a German-English dictionary). Chris said he could not deliver her the gift himself due to being "forced into hiatus from the Pokemon League by that S.O.B. Mike". Tyler in response suggested to Chris to arrange meeting with Megan outside The GAMe PLACe.

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in July 2009, first in the CWC "Boyfriend" video, and then in the subsequent update, I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC. Chris also reposted the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 March 2009, he released a Captain's Log where he told everyone to "leave her alone" because she was going through stress from the trolls, and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan, though it was most likely a troll posing as her seeing as she had cut off all ties with him.

On 12 August 2009, he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

"Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old gal-pal of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen."

- Christian, "KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special"

In 2010, he created a model of Megan for ModNation Racers (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still couldn't let go.

Chris's version of events
On 16 May 2010, the CWCipedia's new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of gal-pals and sweethearts. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic rant on The Wallflower, probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His CWCipedia page on The Wallflower, for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his female acquaintances on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an e-mail to Jackie from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. That Should Have Been Me."

Origins
The Matthew Noble call of August 2010 revealed that Bob and Barbara disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and "some homosexual[s]" to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with Katie Bay, he lists Megan as a "possible troll". His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to give him access to it. He also appears to have confused her with another white female brunette that placed a sign on his lawn on Halloween 2008.

Chris Doxes Megan
A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in February 2012 revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' completely baseless belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

"EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with Michael Snyder LONG Before Novembef, 2007; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the Internet. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and our attorney, for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler"

- Chris, Facebook, February 18, 2012

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.



On 4 April 2013, Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch" &mdash;a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since Mary Lee Walsh. Judging by a 20 July 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with Snyder, to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.

Megagi La Scapegoat
Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from The GAMe PLACe, and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from Wal-Mart on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an Xbox One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

"If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!"

- Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013

On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Daniel Mimms about Megan's current whereabouts. He now classes her with the Witch (Mary Lee Walsh) and the Bastard (Michael Snyder), and makes three Lego minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment. Of course, the notion that Chris can perform sympathetic magic to harm his enemies is befitting with his other delusions. Chris continued to use this Lego minifigure of Megan as a totem to relieve his anger for her, and it appeared a month later "in detention" at Lego Manchester High.

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another rambling tirade directed at Megan to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that Megagi La Skunk, Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's Sailor Megtune "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from some form of mental illness.

"You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!"

- Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the CWCki, virtually all of his bans, the "theft" of his Sailor Moon DVDs yet again, and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will only forgive Megan after he gets unpaid china he feels entitled to.

"I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand."

- Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am

Megan, Queen of the Trolls
Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master troll scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his mother remains yet to be seen.

"Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side."

- Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

In late 2020, Chris (while "possessed" by Sonichu) revealed that he no longer believed Megan to be a troll, but that "[Chris] was to blame for all of the very stupid impulses and mistakes that ended that friendship." This seeming forgiveness may have been spurred on by his belief that Megan is a CPU goddess. It also shows Chris's self-serving memory in action, considering that she was justified to feel uncomfortable at his unwanted advances on her and understandably creeped out by ShecameforCWC.JPG.

Years later
"I just say let her, wherever she is, live her life, and I'll just stay here, liv- living mine. It's all done and over with."

- Chris

On 26 January 2016, in the second CatKnight interview, Sir Arthur Spatchcock brought up the topic of Megan and the grudge Chris had against her. Chris claims that he has finally gotten over that grudge, wishing for her to be left alone to live her own life.

In February 2017, Chris looked up and browsed through Megan's Facebook account, sharing one of her drawings to his own account. When asked by Kim Wilson if they were friends again, Chris responded:

The act of searching for his ex-gal pal came just four days after Chris posted about his feelings of nostalgia for his "friends" from Manchester High.

Megan was asked about Chris on her Etsy page on July 1 2017. This was her response:

On 9 October 2017, Chris once again looked up Megan's Facebook for her online store and left a comment on it:

The post was later removed.

During the Idea Guys saga, Chris's belief in multiple dimensions was exploited and his sense of reality hijacked to make changes to many of Chris's characters, concepts and perspective of the real world, with him considering them to be valid. Ideas involving Megan include:


 * Megan having the memories of CPU Red Heart, which she earned while in politics.

On 19 May 2018, a full decade after Megan cut off all communications with him, Chris issued a public apology to Megan and her brother and expressed his desire to reopen old wounds by speaking with them:

When asked why he would issue this apology publicly when she clearly does not want to be associated with him, Chris responded that he had no choice because she blocked him on Facebook.

On 17 October 2018, Chris declared on Twitter that if he and Barb received enough donations, he would drive over to Megan's house and take Barb and his "poly-loves" with him. About nineteen minutes later, he backtracked on his claim after learning from The Captain that Megan possesses guns.

In the Sons of the Miscreants chats, MKRNightVee claimed that Chris wanted her to befriend Megan in order to help him resume communication with Megan. MKR declined to get involved out of concern for Megan.

On 4 April 2019, a trailer for the documentary Chris Chan VS. The Internet was released, which featured brief footage of and narration by a brunette woman, shot from behind, speculated and later confirmed to be Megan herself. Geno Samuel claimed that Megan actually wanted to physically reunite with Chris, thinking it would be fun; the film's director, Joseph Draft, vetoed this, feeling it would be "too corny and forced". Naught claimed both that Megan later requested that her footage be cut entirely from the film, and that Draft destroyed the hard drive containing the film's only known completed copy.

On 7 January 2021, Megan was asked if her association with Chris and the ensuing status of minor internet celebrity that came with it was ever thought about. She gave a True and Honest response, saying that she doesn't even think of it.

Interviews
During January 2019, a YouTuber by the moniker BazzBe interviewed Megan over Facebook. BazzBe then put together a video narrating the chat.

Transcript
A lost interview was also conducted at some point during 2019, for the cancelled Chris Chan VS. The Internet documentary, however, the director got cold feet and refused to release any of the documentary footage. A single line of Megan's from the interview is preserved from the documentary's trailer: "Now, he... he seems like a totally different person to me."