Jackie E-mails 27

These e-mails between Chris and Jackie were sent from 20 May to 31 May 2011. Jackie continues to carp at Chris about not getting a job and relying on Rocky to do everything for him. Chris feels insecure about his failure to land a job and doesn't want to talk about it. He claims that Rocky is trying to help him find public assistance housing, but the details are beyond his understanding. What Chris has no trouble understanding is a forum he's just discovered that pertains to his new tomgirl identity. Chris and Jackie trade family stories; Jackie wins.

May 20, 2011 7:24pm

Really, you wanted to honor your mother? That's odd, you lie to your parents and take advantage of them a hell of a lot, but whatevs.

What about Rocky's words was confusing to you? Since you have that photographic memory, you should just repeat what she told you to me, and I can help you sort through it and understand it better. Just write it out in your next email.

Anyway, since you don't really feel like talking about real issues like your job search, I'm kind of at a loss for what to talk about. I find my mind drawing a blank right now about movies like Cannibal Holocaust for reasons I don't really know. Well, talk to you soon!

Jackie@undefined

May 21, 2011 9:57pm

You don't "suck bad" at getting a job. It's impossible to say that you suck at it because you don't even bother trying. You applied at two whole places nearly a year ago and haven't gotten up off your ass once to try again since. You sit on your hands and try to explain away your lack of trying to others with lies about how "employers will google me and find the cwcki", even though you know perfectly well that's not how background checks work.

I'm starting to get a picture of what Rocky's help is going to do for you, with a government-assisted job search program, but I don't really understand why it matters to you looking for a job now. I mean, July 2012 is over a year away, and if you actually put time into looking now you could get a job long before then. You're surviving comfortably on your tugboat right now, why do you need even MORE free money to do something you should be doing in the first place? How will getting more welfare help you get a job any easier? Just go get a job now. Go look. Go apply. Go DO something.

Answer me one question honestly Chris: Do you, in all seriousness, actually WANT to get a job and move out on your own? If so, what are you doing to achieve it? Waiting for Rocky to do it all isn't doing anything. Are you sure you wouldn't just rather let other people take care of you while you use their money to buy video games and cosmetics for the rest of your life? Because that's not what I'm interested in. I'm not interested in being your caretaker.

Jackie@undefined May 24, 2011 2:46pm

Chris, where have you been?

I'm so exhausted right now. My little parakeet Blueberry flew out the window two days ago. I have no idea where he is right now and I'm so scared.

Where are you???@undefined

May 25, 2011 10:38pm

Chris? You sent me a blank email with nothing in it. WHat's going on?

Anyway, I'm sorry I have been kind of a pill lately, I've just been having a bad couple of weeks. I'm tired of thinking negative thoughts. I need to get my mind off stuff, let's talk about positive things. Anything new going on with you?

Jackie@undefined

May 28, 2011 2:37pm

Hey that's okay that I didn't get your email, I guess you were distracted, it would've been nice to have a serious discussion but I know you've been spending most of your time lately playing Hannah Montana. No biggie.

Well since you aren't going to be pursuing a job or moving out, I'm glad at least you have started a hobby in taking pictures for your church. I bet it feels really good to just get out and get some variety like that! I know you've been having trouble getting along with your parents lately, so I think just spending some time out of the house and throwing yourself into some activity will be good for all of you. And you made some new friends? That's awesome!! I know how shy you can be so I'm glad you're meeting new people to hang out with. Tell me about them! What are their names? What are they like, what kind of things do they do?

As for my parents, well, I can give you the rundown. My father's from Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where he spent most of his days. Then one day he decided he wanted to be an engineer, so he found some good schools and started applying around here. He got accepted to Virginia Tech and his mom got stoked, she said "you're packing your bags and moving to Roanoke". And that's how he came to be in Virginia.

My mother's story is a bit different from my father's, and a bit more interesting. She comes from Los Angeles originally, way out in California. She never went to college after high school initially, she spent her early 20's as a waitress in a little diner. Actually, a really freaky thing happened to her when she was young: There was this crazy guy who came along and tried to murder her after she got off work one night. The guy almost succeeded too, except that a good samaritan saved her life and got her away from the attacker. The guy pursued both of them for days, I think he actually shot up a bunch of cops while doing so, killing a few of them. Eventually the murderer killed my mother's protector, but she managed to kill him in self-defense by trapping him in some big crushing press (they were in a factory at the time, I think the murderer worked there or something, I don't know how they all wound up there). But before her protector died, the two of them shared a night of intimacy, during which my half-brother was conceived.

A few years after that, my father and some of his college friends went to L.A. on spring break, and they were doing body shots in the club where my mother happened to have taken a job. My father slipped that lime into my mother's mouth and their eyes met, and both knew it was meant to be. Soon after my father graduated and my mother moved out to Virginia to be with him, and they got married. I was born a few years later. I'm still to this day not allowed to ask my mother directly about what happened with the murderer all those years ago (It's a very traumatic subject for her), but my father has told me some things that she told him: Apparently, the guy was absolutely crazy, when he came at her he was ranting about her needing to die or else his race was going to die in the apocalypse in the future, I guess he thought she was like the anti-christ or something. I don't know what race he was talking about, my dad said he looked like some eastern european.

Anyway, as for my half-brother: He was like 8 years older than me and we never had a very strong relationship. He was kind of a bad seed, always getting into trouble when he was a teenager, he smoked all the time, stole money, did vandalism, other petty crimes. He actually caused a lot of fights for our family. A little before he turned 18, he ran away and said he didn't want to come back, and he refuses to talk to any of us now. Last I heard he moved back to Los Angeles, but I think he's just kind of living off the grid, semi-homeless. I don't know if he has a job or not. It's really sad because I think he had some mental illness or instability, he always got so angry and impulsive and was really paranoid about stuff. Sometimes I think about him and hope he's doing okay but he's really not a part of any of our lives anymore.

Well anyway, tell me about this Tomgirl forum you found! Have you gotten involved there? Are your new friends tomgirls/tomboys from there too? I bet you can make more new friends on there. I'll take a look at the forum a little later but let me know how it goes for you! Get really involved! I'm so glad that you're getting out there and being active like that. It's going to be really good for you in the long run.

Oh, and I'm not exactly sure when I'll be free to hang out, I'm sorry, my schedule is just slammed at the moment. It seems like I don't get a free moment to just step back and rest even these days. I've got to rearrange some things so I have more energy and time to do stuff. I'll keep you posted.

Jackie@undefined

May 29, 2011 6:02pm

Hey Chris. I sent you an email yesterday, curious that you didn't receive it. Maybe the same error caused it that made your previous email blank. Anyway, I'll copy what I sent to you again here.

Hey that's okay that I didn't get your email, I guess you were distracted, it would've been nice to have a serious discussion but I know you've been spending most of your time lately playing Hannah Montana. No biggie.

Well since you aren't going to be pursuing a job or moving out, I'm glad at least you have started a hobby in taking pictures for your church. I bet it feels really good to just get out and get some variety like that! I know you've been having trouble getting along with your parents lately, so I think just spending some time out of the house and throwing yourself into some activity will be good for all of you. And you made some new friends? That's awesome!! I know how shy you can be so I'm glad you're meeting new people to hang out with. Tell me about them! What are their names? What are they like, what kind of things do they do?

As for my parents, well, I can give you the rundown. My father's from Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where he spent most of his days. Then one day he decided he wanted to be an engineer, so he found some good schools and started applying around here. He got accepted to Virginia Tech and his mom got stoked, she said "you're packing your bags and moving to Roanoke". And that's how he came to be in Virginia.

My mother's story is a bit different from my father's, and a bit more interesting. She comes from Los Angeles originally, way out in California. She never went to college after high school initially, she spent her early 20's as a waitress in a little diner. Actually, a really freaky thing happened to her when she was young: There was this crazy guy who came along and tried to murder her after she got off work one night. The guy almost succeeded too, except that a good samaritan saved her life and got her away from the attacker. The guy pursued both of them for days, I think he actually shot up a bunch of cops while doing so, killing a few of them. Eventually the murderer killed my mother's protector, but she managed to kill him in self-defense by trapping him in some big crushing press (they were in a factory at the time, I think the murderer worked there or something, I don't know how they all wound up there). But before her protector died, the two of them shared a night of intimacy, during which my half-brother was conceived.

A few years after that, my father and some of his college friends went to L.A. on spring break, and they were doing body shots in the club where my mother happened to have taken a job. My father slipped that lime into my mother's mouth and their eyes met, and both knew it was meant to be. Soon after my father graduated and my mother moved out to Virginia to be with him, and they got married. I was born a few years later. I'm still to this day not allowed to ask my mother directly about what happened with the murderer all those years ago (It's a very traumatic subject for her), but my father has told me some things that she told him: Apparently, the guy was absolutely crazy, when he came at her he was ranting about her needing to die or else his race was going to die in the apocalypse in the future, I guess he thought she was like the anti-christ or something. I don't know what race he was talking about, my dad said he looked like some eastern european.

Anyway, as for my half-brother: He was like 8 years older than me and we never had a very strong relationship. He was kind of a bad seed, always getting into trouble when he was a teenager, he smoked all the time, stole money, did vandalism, other petty crimes. He actually caused a lot of fights for our family. A little before he turned 18, he ran away and said he didn't want to come back, and he refuses to talk to any of us now. Last I heard he moved back to Los Angeles, but I think he's just kind of living off the grid, semi-homeless. I don't know if he has a job or not. It's really sad because I think he had some mental illness or instability, he always got so angry and impulsive and was really paranoid about stuff. Sometimes I think about him and hope he's doing okay but he's really not a part of any of our lives anymore.

Well anyway, tell me about this Tomgirl forum you found! Have you gotten involved there? Are your new friends tomgirls/tomboys from there too? I bet you can make more new friends on there. I'll take a look at the forum a little later but let me know how it goes for you! Get really involved! I'm so glad that you're getting out there and being active like that. It's going to be really good for you in the long run.

Oh, and I'm not exactly sure when I'll be free to hang out, I'm sorry, my schedule is just slammed at the moment. It seems like I don't get a free moment to just step back and rest even these days. I've got to rearrange some things so I have more energy and time to do stuff. I'll keep you posted.

Jackie@undefined