Announcement 20160709

Announcement_20160709 is a video uploaded by Chris on 9 July 2016. The video consists almost exclusively of Chris whining about a variety of topics; "taking care" of Barb and his pets, Sega bafflingly not responding to his offer to make Sonichu a franchise, all the fans requesting actual original content instead of extremely dull book-reading videos - something like the "A Day in My Life" videos, and his money problems, asking for yet more donations. In addition, Chris announces that he is killing off the "Reading Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" series, after realizing that everybody hates it and admitting that even he doesn't understand it. He also announces that he is writing a new Sonichu comic for OmegaCon.

This announcement reveals that Chris has apparently acquired two female "managers" (who were later revealed to be trolls). They supposedly handle his emails and filter out any messages that may cause him stress. This video also reveals that Chris is aware how poorly-received the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise is in recent years, with him speculating that his original creation could potentially "pull Sonic out of the ground". He states his satisfaction at the blue arms having been changed "back", probably thinking his protests were the catalyst. Notably, Chris briefly mentions his father, claiming to have frequent visions of him in his dreams. Chris concludes the video by calling the people he just begged for money basement-dwelling losers.

This video contains the most stress sighs of any video known, at a grand total of fourteen.

Video
"And I'm still looking for my sweetheart, you think I'm famous enough to get women?"

Transcript
[PS4 intro]

Hello everybody, this is a tired Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again... with announcements. I have been made aware that the recent video logs for reading Re-- Rainbows, Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happimess-- Happiness, are not very popular. [Chris takes on a somewhat angry tone] Well, you can definitely blame that on Mr. Bill... because he was the one that suggested that I do it. And frankly, I find in nonsensical myself between chapter-- finishing chapter three and beginning chapter four! There's Kevin again! [incoherent mumble] He became dead! What the hell?

[stress sigh]

Anyway, and den I real-- and den I have been made aware that y'all would like, maybe, something original, and in the lines of like, "A Day In My Life," but guess what, I tell you what, my days... have been short lately and I know that every s-- in my subconscious, there's a new thing that's gonna press-- that's gonna press on my inside, and stress levels have just totally drained me all over again and I'm not gonna feel like doin' anything! [stress sigh] Just drives me bonkers. [yet another stress sigh] And then the finances! [stutters] Always with the finances here! The mortgage, the bills, everything! I know you don't wanna hear this shit 'cause y'all have this-- y'all have these problems yourselves, in your own way, but you know what?

[Chris pauses to recollect himself]

I know-- I'm in over my head. And, uh, [mumbling] I'm pretty much-- I'm pretty much... wearing myself out, by doin' the shop in the first place, and then I have been with Lulu.com last December... That was resolved, but that-- it really went downhill for me.

[stress sigh]

And I really do want Sonichu and Rosechu to be f-- franchisable and whatnot, officially with Sega... and maybe Nintendo but really with Sega! Get the console games going where I've ha--do the stor-- where I tell people the stories and every-- things. A cartoon show where I asshually take full directions and... make the stories and whatnot, and maybe s-- I do a script for the com-- for the comic books and let somebody else do the drawing! I don' know! It's all over my head and a lot of this-- of these details are in over my head, that's why I got my frien-- that's why I ended up making my ladyfriends who pretty much becoming[sic] my managers which I appreciate that very much, yes I do... Thank you both.

[awkward pause]

Anyway, I just... I don't hear anything from Sega officially and I'd really prefer actually to get... in my the mailbox physically at home, I don't check my emails that often... Even though my lady friends do... They have to thin out the trolls, and whatnot. I'll tell you what, official Sega representative, fly on over! Prove... Him- or herself to me, and we can actually get talking right here in Ruckersville, but no! And Sonichu is actually, I believe could be the next big thing for Sega, help you pull sonic out of the ground... with all the darn fanfiction direction - should have kept it original Sega! Stick to the original plots and whatnot, not change a darn thing (including the arm colour change which I'm glad finally got resolved with the Sonic and Mario olympic game). And then on.

[stress sigh]

Anyway I just have so much on my mind, I gotta take care of my family, my mom, my dogs, my cats... It's a grind around here, especially on my noggin! I don't know... Anyway that's, I am gonna have something that tells a Sonichu story, a new one, or [incoherent] I have something written out for when I do my thing at OmegaCon, later this summer. That's over here in Charlottesville. That's a whole 'nother story right there, anyway. [stress sigh] Finances, mortgage payments - we really could use some more money around here cos as quickly as it comes in it goes out! We gotta pay bills and we gotta get food around here, we gotta keep ourselves fed and everything! Please help us! I really do wanna deliver new Sonichu and Rosechu content but, it's hard for me to get back to the pages and drawing with all of this stress in my life! And I really would like to be able- I have- I should make- I've made little to no progress on the orders from... Etsy store. I'm workin' on getting myself motivated to do all that! If I had the money I'd reimburse everybody but I don't have a thousand dollars or so, it's all got to go out to the food and the bills and everything [feigns crying] and it's driving me crazy!

[stress sigh]

Help. Please help. Help keep me and my mother fed... 74 years old she is! Two dogs, two cats, got a family of kittens in the backyard! And I'm still looking for my sweetheart, you think I'm famous enough to get women? I have not been so fortunate. And yes, I've only had sex... Two times! Ever! In my lifetime, so I'm not a virgin, and they were both in the same month and that was more than four years ago. [double stress sigh] You think your life s-sucks, cos you're dwelling in your mother's basement, you darn, dirty internet trolls and cyber-bullies! Think of how it is in MY head!

[facepalms]

We need help. [double stress sigh] I dunno, anyway, that's about it for right now, just.. under here, directly donate to me- to my mom. I wish Cole Smithey would help us but he's in New York being greedy and throwing his money away into the fire, when he could be sharing it with his own mother to help pay him back for puttin' him through the schools, the college and the BRAND NEW CAR that was new in about 1980 or so. [stress sigh] And Al and Carol could help me out cos I'm still the half-sibling! And with our late father being... In memory, in... He comes, visit me in my dreams nearly every night! Day... I'm on a night schedule right now, I'm tryin' to get back on a day schedule right now, my subconscious doesn't want me to get out of bed cos I know something's gonna be crazy that day! Every day, something crazy! [huge stress sigh] I get DRAINED... [stress sigh] Oh well. [stress sigh] That's it. Have a good day.