Michael Snyder

"I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!... JEW!"

- Chris, in Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean.

"I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk."

- Michael Snyder, responding to Chris's Greene County Conspiracy video.

Michael John "Mike" Snyder (Hebrew: מִיכָאֵל ג'ון „מייק“ שניידר) is one of Chris's many enemies. He was the manager of The GAMe PLACe (later known as Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a game and hobby store that was in Charlottesville. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June 2008. Based on his surname, Chris came to the incorrect conclusion that Snyder was Jewish; in actuality, "Snyder" is actually an Americanized version of either the Dutch surname "Snijder", the German surname "Schneider", or the Slavic surname "Šnajdr" (all of which translate to "tailor" in their respective languages). .

Due to his misguided belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard", a "jerk", a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew", "cold-hearted and mean", a "sonofabitch", and "CHILDREN-FUCKING-DAMNED".

In June 2010, Chris had a run-in with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on 28 October 2011 both Barb and Chris committed a more serious attack on him for which they were both convicted. Legal punishment as well as the store's eventual closing have done nothing to check Chris's rage.

Despite being a major antagonist in Chris's eyes, Snyder was spared from being adapted into a Sonichu counterpart villain. This might have been because he didn't threaten the Love Quest or, more likely, Sonichu went on hiatus some time before Chris began developing further antipathy towards the store manager.

At the GAMe PLACe
"That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then."

- Chris, being his usual humble self.

Chris's behavior at the GAMe PLACe offended the store's management in a number of ways. He slacked off on his (supposed) duty as a Pokémon gym leader, scared the children he played card games with, picked fights with other players, and let his racism and homophobia shine. He also took his video game consoles into the store and hogged the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sang Britney Spears songs during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the HEXBox, and much more. In April 2008, Chris's behavior got him a two-week ban from the store.

The trigger for his permanent ban on 6 June 2008 was a shouting match with a black kid. It was on that day that Mike permanently banned Chris from the store; although, as Mimms claimed, he "was looking for any reason to ban him at this point". Michael himself later recalled in a response to one of Chris's videos, "I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk".

Predictably, Chris did his best to appeal his permaban. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the police. Despite a fierce rejoinder by his mother Barbara, Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.

Years of hatred
"And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville… BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!"

- Chris



Chris has given many different explanations for why he was banned, but has never believed it was justified. In the Jackie e-mails, Chris claimed that he had been thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. It was in this month, according to Chris, that Michael Snyder forced him to stop hogging the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of kids to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry, and snatched a card box to write "Michael Snyder Loves the 'F' out of Mary Lee Walsh" on it. This so-called "Wii incident", Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw which precipitated the ban. This account is almost certainly false; apart from contradicting Mimms' more objective account, Chris predictably tried to paint himself as getting one up on Snyder, and assumed that Mike would know or care who Mary was.

On another occasion, however, Chris claimed that "Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store". In December 2013, his explanation was, "he has his hangups against me (still has them); he's either frightened or angry at me for the one or two times I let out a loud shout when there was too much going on at the time and I couldn't take it anymore". At other times, he has assumed that Mike is prejudiced against autistic individuals, and had discriminated against him. In any case, while Chris has sometimes admitted that he caused some small problems, he has not felt that they justified a permanent ban, and he blames Snyder's overreaction on an irrational hatred.

Even worse, from Chris's perspective, Michael refused to accept his numerous apologies and lift the ban. In March 2009, Chris made a clearly self-serving YouTube video apology to Michael and asked to be readmitted to the PLACe. The following month he tried again, posting an apology on the sidebar of another video. Yet again in October 2010, Chris made a bogus YouTube apology in order to look better to his girlfriend. None of them had any effect. On 12 April 2010, Chris trespassed to pay a personal visit to Michael at the PLACe, and tried to apologize in an attempt to get the ban lifted. Michael said no. Chris quickly dissolved into fury, yelling "Jew" as an insult and flipping him off. Michael attempted to get the fuzz, but by the time they got there Chris had already scrammed.

Unable to comprehend Michael's actions, Chris came to suspect that some greater conspiracy was at work. As the organized trolling of Chris shifted into high gear, Chris wondered if Michael was somehow behind it all. "What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!!," he asked in July 2009. In May 2010, he put forth the theory that Greene County, Virginia school board officials had persuaded Michael to ban him, for no other reason than to make his life miserable. Perhaps because of this conspiratorial mindset, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion that Michael was Jewish on account of his last name. In his May 2010 video, Chris called Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY... SNYDER," seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew". In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" [or "Sneijder"] descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some Eastern European and Russian Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing "Shnaider" (Шнайдер) or "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. The bottom line is that Michael is not Jewish.

A phone call on 10 August 2010 indicated that Bob (and, presumably, Barb as well) shared Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central:

"Mike's been persecuting him for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it... Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay, to persecute and torment Christian for years."

- Bob. Oh, Bob.

On 6 June 2010, Chris had a few beers and drove to the PLACe to make a dartboard out of Mike's picture. When several people came out of the store to confront him, Chris got back in his car and attempted to flee, nearly hitting Snyder twice as he attempted to block Chris's escape. Two police officers present at the shopping center stopped the fracas. At that moment Michael appeared on YouTube and commented "Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his car. They witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it." The officers listened to both sides, and then let Chris off with a warning after making him delete the pictures he'd taken. To present his side of the story, Chris posted an incredibly delusional video in which he claimed that Michael had jumped on top of his hood and shouted, "YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!" He admitted to trying to flee from the police, and saw nothing wrong with his actions. Chris told a very similar fanciful story of another assault four years later. Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.

Chris's hatred of Michael only grew. He began to insinuate that Michael was a child molester based on no evidence whatsoever. He also assumed that Michael was a violent maniac. While making plans to visit the store in April 2010, Chris wrote, "I pray he won't get violent; if he does, I will defend myself". On another occasion he said that he was so afraid of Mike that he did not want to confront him while "unarmed" and alone. Ironically, Chris himself has on many occasions expressed violent urges against Michael, whether it was telling Lars that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun, or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.

Shit gets real


On 28 October 2011, just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and Barb launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", newly owned by Snyder. Chris and Barb both hit the proprietor with their vehicle and injured him. They were arrested near the scene and spent a day in jail. Both faced felony charges for failure to stop after an accident, while Chris also had trespassing and misdemeanor assault, and Barb had a second felony charge for assault on a law enforcement official. Mike filed a civil suit against them both.

The plea bargain hearing was held on 10 July 2012. Despite his past history with the Chandlers, Snyder magnanimously pushed for leniency in the court case, as he did not want Chris to get a felony on his record. As part of the plea bargain, however, he apparently insisted on his medical bills being paid in full by the Chandlers. This prompted Chris to openly refer to Snyder as a "thieving liar" in court (though Snyder himself was not in attendance), showing a complete lack of gratitude to a man who had showed an amazing level of kindness considering the circumstances.

In September 2013, Chris's felony charge was amended to a misdemeanor, and his sentence was suspended.

The hatred continues
"I hate Snyder with a passion for destroying my life the way he did."

- Chris following the plea bargain hearing.



Chris learned nothing from this run-in with the law, and his anger towards Michael intensified. As with the previous run-in, Chris related an extremely distorted account of the incident immediately after the fact. "Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls." What's more, according to Chris, Mike had set a "trap" by posting a sign saying that there was a "new owner," inducing him and his mother to enter the store. Chris has never deviated from this interpretation. The fact that Michael actually won the court case shocked Chris, and he saw this as a theft by Michael.

As Chris continued to dwell on these issues, he came up with a new conspiracy to explain his original ban. In this version, Megan had recruited Michael into a conspiracy to destroy his life. Just as Chris and his parents had been coming close to discovering this Game PLACe conspiracy in 2008, Michael had banned him. Furthermore, as part of the "trap" Michael had laid on 28 October 2011, he had bribed the police to beat him up and falsify their reports. By September 2013, he regarded Michael, Megan and Mary Lee Walsh as some sort of axis of evil, "the Top Three Fiends and Enemies of my lifetime; the ones who actually have Devastated my Heart, my Soul, my Reputation Online AND in Person/Real Life, my Emotions, AND my Life in General all-around."

Chris claimed that he randomly encountered Snyder in public some time in August 2013:

Chris clearly interpreted Mike's calming words as a threat. He also displayed his characteristic ignorance of the law - Chris was required to keep away from Snyder, not vice versa. This is Snyder's last known interaction in regards to Chris.

By June 2014, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys had been closed for unknown reasons. Chris took some comfort from this, assuming that Michael's "get-rich-quick scheme" of filing the civil suit had somehow failed. Whether Michael succumbed to Chris's curses, emigrated to Israel, or met some other fate is unclear and due to chris not saying anything recent about him, we may never know.

As of August 2017, Chris not only still believes Mike Snyder set him up, but also blames him for blowing all of Bob's pension during the 2012 plea bargain hearing. Because "Mike rubbing his legs against Chris's car" is somehow to blame, as opposed to hiring an expensive lawyer.

Mike also had a YouTube account, TheRcholic, which he created to provide details of the 4 June 2010 incident and to reply directly to Chris on his Greene County Conspiracy video. The account was later left dormant and was eventually closed by Mike.

A new adversary?
In September 2019, Jacob Sockness, Chris's latest orbiter and a malicious enabler of his beliefs in the Dimensional Merge, was seen attempting to incite Snyder via the guestbook for an obituary site which listed Snyder's deceased father. Sockness also attempted to harass Snyder upon rumours circulating that a new Game PLACe had opened in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.

Ultimately, it seems that Chris may have completely dismissed this facet of Sockness's idiocy, as Chris has yet to comment on the rumors of his former haunt receiving new premises.