Mailbag 53

Mailbag 53 was uploaded to the CWCipedia in the very early hours of the morning on 2 February 2010. Due to the closure of the CWCipedia from 8 to 14 February, the response to these emails was delayed even more than usual. Questions like Evan's statement about going to court were outdated as Chris had already killed off Simonla on 13 February.

Thankfully, Chris retired the "neutral response" seen in Mailbag 52. He seemed especially meek in this batch of responses, giving small, inoffensive answers to enraged fans pointing out his incredible penchant for lies and hypocrisy. Highlights from this mailbag included the first public indicator that Chris values sex over love, and Chris saying he's an optimist, as though that somehow overrides mathematical proof.

So much for true love
From: Andreas Veinbergs  Hi Chris! If you had to choose between: a) Have sex with a girl and never meet her again or b) Meet a sweetheart but never have sex which would you pick? Thanks!@undefined

The sorrow of Chris's loss
From: Chris Doyle  Dear sir, I have to say you've disappointed me greatly. You completely ignored my previous message, not even deigning to place it in your 'rejected' mailbag. Instead, you go on to engineer letters to stroke your own ego - Unacceptable!! How do you expect anyone to continue following your comic, let alone supporting you, with an attitude like this?!

I've made a lot of allowances for your behaviour in the past while following your comic, such as trying to write off your homophobia to your obviously sheltered upbringing and your misbehaviour as due to your illness - I even skimmed over your blatant fantasy with your 'cure' for homosexuality which greatly offended me - Not only am I bisexual, but I am also a geneticist and that farce was an insult to my work! But this latest stupidity of yours' is the last straw.

Farewell from a prior fan, Asperchu here I come!!

Goodbye, Christina McDoyle.@undefined

Black brothers
From: machball65@aol.com

What do you plan to do for Black History Month? I hope you have a special Sonichu comic in store for us devoted to Black History Month.@undefined

Chris, your comics are bad
From: Victoria Garrison 

Hello Chris, I am a big fan of your comic. But recently...

See, we had a big club down here in Florida, we had at least twenty members. We all loved Sonichu and talked about it, one of our members would bring his laptop and give us the update. But recently... we've been questioning your series. I mean, the art is just getting to be an eyesore to look at because sometimes we can't tell what's going on. The walls of text and the generic coloring is bad too.

And now we don't get the story, what's happened to all the other characters you've created? Also recently we discovered you took a character from someone named Evan and changed him into a girl and called it yours. Did he give you permission to use his character and give it a sex change? Reading the fan mail you say he's overreacting, I think he has a right to, seeing how you stole something.

But anyways, we've just been so disgusting with how the comics and you yourself have been doing. A electric hedgehog pokemon has gotten boring and tiring, it's just not original anymore now that we look at it. So, I, being the president of the fan club decided to take down the club. Everyone agreed and it's not more. We're trying to find a different comic to read, perhaps Moon-Pals. Asperchu has plenty of fans of ready I heard, I think the website has over 60,000 views. I looked at Moon-Pals and loved that they have a regular used set of characters.

Maybe, just maybe, if you restart this 'Sonichu' into something more original and fun, and safe for kids (we had elementary students in the club) then we'll consider bringing the club back together.@undefined

On sexual abuse
From: 

I have been in a relationship with the woman that I love for 5 years now and she means the world to me. I'm 26 years old and she is three years younger. We met when she was out with her friends celebrating her 18th birthday and have been happily inseparable ever since. I've asked her to marry me, and she has hesitated to accept, not because she doesn't love me but because she is afraid of the wedding night. This brings me to why I am emailing you; you see Chris, I've been a loyal fan of Sonichu from the very beginning and have followed every single twist in the storyline with much eagerness and I need some advice. My girlfriend, (Her name is Lynn Derleth) was molested as a little girl and now is deathly afraid of sexual activity. This has never complicated our relationship before because I love her enough, but she won't marry me because of the wedding night rule. What should I do Chris???

~ Jack Marsh@undefined

Well, that makes everything better!
From:

"All Life IS sacred." "I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way."

Oh really?

"Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions."-You, Mailbag 48.

You've been caught in a lie. Game. Over.@undefined

''The response referred to is actually in Mailbag 49. At the time of Chris's response here, his original homophobic screed remained unchanged on the CWCipedia.''

Chris admits to being a no-good-thief
From: Keith Keithson 

"I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story."

LIAR.

You are now officially a NO GOOD THIEF.@undefined

We will never excuse you, Chris
From: Robert Fisher 

CHRIS, QUIT INSULTING OUR INTELIGENCE. DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE YOU ARE FOOLING ANYONE BY CHANGING SIMONLA ROSECHU'S PAGE? WE ARE NOT AS STUPID AS YOU. WE HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING THE ISSUES BETWEEN YOU AND EVAN FROM DAY ONE. IT WAS NO FABRICATION. THIS IS YOU TRYING TO RE-WRIGHT THE FACTS TO SAVE YOUR ASS FROM LEGAL ISSUES.(Once again I remind you ALL edits you make to your site are recorded. All the original messages are still accessible to everyone, including lawyers. And just saying it was a fabrication will not hold up in a court of law. They are much much much much smarter than you and will see through your bullshit) THIS IS ONLY THE MOST CURRENT IN A LONG LINE OF YOUR DECEPTIONS. STOP BEING A FUCKING DISHONEST HYPOCRITE. AND I KNOW YOU WILL TAKE THE COWARDS WAY OUT AND DELETE THIS. I DON'T CARE. THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE, THE READERS, WILL STILL SEE THIS EVEN IF YOU IGNORE IT. BUT YOUR CURRENT ATTITUDE OF TREATING YOU'RE (NOW FORMER) FANS LIKE SHIT HAS GOT ME SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. SO FUCK YOU. YOU ARE NOT A KIND AND CARING PERSON, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A FUCKING MONSTER.@undefined

Optimism vs mathematics
From: 

Hey Chris, I was just wondering, you've stated that you have over one million fans. Simply question: where do you get this figure? You have said that you don't trust polls, and judging by the context in which you said this, neither do you trust the software that records the number of hits on your CWCipedia site. I've been a fan of yours for a while but this is a little comprehend. I think you're just lying again to make yourself look better, and doing a pretty poor job of it. Clearly the statistical data from the aforementioned sources contradicts the absurd claim that you have over a million fas. I'm willing to do give you the benefit of the doubt though, how do you know you have over a million fans? Frank@undefined

Old message is old
From: Evan George  Lies don't hold up in court, you know. Remove that slanderous wench too.@undefined