Mumble 1

Mumble 1 is the first of the Mumble chats involving Chris which took place on 31 January 2009. In this fifty-minute chat, Chris mostly goes on about video games. Gems include the thought that incest is okay if there are two women, and stuff about the Nintendo trip.

Length: 49:32

Summary
The conversation begins with a discussion between Chris and a girl about Transformers, before moving onto video games (surprised?). After quite a length of time, the discussion moves onto his room, and the fact that he has a Lego CWCville that he's been building his entire life (and that he plans on continuing for his entire life). He then mentions he buys his clothes from Goodwill and the Salvation Army because "IT WAS A BARGAIN" (complete with falsetto). He then announces that he hates homos. Lesbians are OK though. Thanks to Our Lady Cogs to bringing it up for us. He doesn't want to make any more new male friends though. Back to lesbians, and they're good. So good, he'd have a threesome with two girls. It also transpires he has no idea what incest is. It turns out that he can be sure that Anne Boleyn never had sex with her brother, but sister-on-sister incest is fine. There's some talk of cars. Chris is invited to Louisville, Kentucky by a girl, and he farts. Chris knows that Canadians are nice and play ice hockey too.

Obama and Chris have common ground, apparently. Chris sees himself in Obama as they were both outcasts. He also discovered he was a 'moderate' in high school. Clyde is a 'joike' as well, by the way. He describes an argument with Bob, and then goes onto mention he could beat Bob's ass, because Bob is 81. The love and respect conundrum is mentioned- turns out Chris doesn't love Bob, but he does respect him.

Transcript
Chris: ...both parts in a villain.

Trap: Do you plan to fix that any time soon, in the future?

Chris: Uh... yeah, I don't know. I did have an idea, though, about, uh, about psychic link, about psychic communication between her and Magi-Chan. But, uh, neither of them knowing about each other, physically, outside of that.

Trap: Alright.

Chris: Only the Decepticons. Get it? [forced laughter] Like Transformers.

Trap: Ah, yes, you know there's a new movie. New number 2.

Chris: Yeah, I know. Yeah, they're doing number 2. I have both the DVD and Blu-ray version of the, uh, of the new movie. I also have a DVD of the original animated movie. And I have Generation 1 series copied onto DVD-R. The entire Generation 1 series.

[Pause] Chris: Oh, great, four times the Bumblebee.

[Forced laughter] Dude: I haven't even seen the first one yet, I don't even know if it's on Netflix.

Chris: Rent the DVD. RENT THE DVD! IT'S EASIER TO WAIT FOR IT TO FALL ONTO NETFLIX!

Dude: Yeah, we have that, we have the Ropoo box, but, uh, I know it used to be on the box, for instant lunch, but I don't know if it still is. [Pause] Dude: Oh, I love that movie!

[Pause] Chris: Mmm. I downloaded a bunch of epi- bunch of shows on the, and movies from the PlayStation Network. I've rented some of the- I've rented some of the movies off of there, as well as a few episodes of Xam'd.

[Pause] Chris: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait...

Trap: Eeh, hold on, hold on Gecko, I think he wants to read the website some more.

Chris: Uh, wait a minute, wait a minute, uh, did you say, did you say Xam'd is on the HEXBox as well?

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: The anim-

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Well, yeah it was one thing. I used to hate both the PlayStation and the Xbox, but then I ended up getting the PlayStation 1 at a rummage sale, then I just kinda like, gave it a test play, then I pretty much fell fo- then I decided not to trade it in, at that time. So, pretty much grew from that. But, like in the-

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, but also, you know, it costs money to be on the Xbox Live. But anyway, yeah, I don't think so. alright, so anyway- [starts typing loudly] Xam'd, is that really on the, uh, Xbox Live? It's an anime bout this, uh, boy who, uh, pretty much- pretty much gets a- gets a- gets infected and becomes like this, uh, this animal-type character, muta- mutant like creature, something like that. Yeah, yeah, I'm interested in starting to, uh, download the, uh, a new anime they just- they put on there just recently. Shuffle! I think it's called Shuffle! Oh, 'scuse me for a second. [Clattering as Chris gets up]

<font color="#800080">Trap: All right.

[Pause] <font color="#0B610B">Dude: Uhn, I'm actually wondering if I should stay online, or go play Animal Crossing. That's sad. [Drowned out by static and more clattering] [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh, yeah, I tried uh, oh, I tried uh, downloading from torrents a bunch of times, but, um, most of the entire series of Samurai Pizza Cats, off a torrent, but, uh, still kind of lacked in quality. And, uh, they got their leh ic- they got their little icons recorded, uh, that they recorded from a TV station.

[Pause] <font color="#0B610B">Dude: Yeah, we're picking up our 360 on Tuesday; we have one reserved, and then after that's a PS3, but I dunno- [Pause] <font color="#0B610B">Dude: Ha, Circuit City's closing its doors, it's going downhill.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Sadly.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Anyway, uh, anyway, you know, recommended for if, you all get, for those who are getting a PlayStation 3, you know, you can go ahead and get, like, the least expensive one you can find, but preferably, one with, uh, that's capable of Wi-Fi, that's the, uh, that's the 60GB or higher models. 20 if- Yeah- Well, yeah, w- well, I mean, uh, 20 or 40GB are not capable of the Wi-Fi, you require an Ethernet cable. Yeah but I know but it's like available used, but anyway, anyway the-anyway the point is, you can pick up the least expensive for a PlayStation 3, and give it more memory capacity. That's like more bang for your buck, by buying the- like a 500GB Serial AT- Internal Serial ATA Norton two and a half inch notebook drive. And then you just-and then you just swap out- swap it in- swap out the old one and put in the new one. That's what I did. I got like, I couldn't- I co-... It's been working for me! [Typing] Yeah well this- Yeah. Yeah I'm typing the details. It's a seri-

[''Pause, then more typing. It's fucking loud.''] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah it's a ser... Yeah, good for awhile but then you add- then you down- then you add like a bunch of- then you download like a bunch of movies or, er, I have from a torrent copied from PC to PlayStation 3 with a flash- with a flash drive or memory st- card or something like that. And then- and then and then- [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmm... eh, but anyway, ah it accepts up to 500GB for its uh its internal hard drive. And also, like you know, it can-it can hook up to uh one of its USB ports an external hard drive and store- and store all that stuff. Copy it from the PlayStation 3 Hard Drive to it. And you can access the movies on there. Except downloads from the PlayStation network, They can only be copied to like uh, the PlayStation Portable. The Memory Stick Duo on that. I know, I uh [Pause] Yeah.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah I mean, yeah, Toro and Ape Escape were around for the longest time on the Japan version of the store. You know, Eye of-... Judgment.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah I get it. Yeah I get it. Over like, over the PlayStation Network for the chat windows, I get it. Yeah. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: But I'm just- I'm just trying to use that as an example.

[Pause, random noise, then another pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmmh. But I haven't been able to buy a Toro or the Ape Escape costumes yet Julie just to let you know. I mean I'm not getting my tugboat for a few more days.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh, I've heard of it I've never really seen it. Plus, I have like the original Game Boy game, Fist of North Star.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh no, I've pretty much only got Escape- Ape Escape titles on the PSP during my PlayStation lifetime. [Random background noise, then pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmm. Yeah that's why- that's why for those that were recreated from the UMD, I just- I think I'll just buy the UMD instead of wasting Memory Stick Duo space. And uhh, Julie, I will definitely consider doing that for you, but uh not at the moment.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh how'd you get NES games on your PSP? Because I understand with the latest upgrade it uh, tends to block out that capability.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmm.

[Random background noise, Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: I see.

[Pause] <font color="#0B610B">Dude: Oh dude, February tenth, they're coming out with that Sega Greatest Hits Sonic collection thingy. Forty different games and all the original Sonic games. It's frickin' awesome. I think they're going platform-wide with that too. <font color="#0033FF">Chris: That... I noticed that at Gamestop, it's only gonna be for like PS3 and Xbox 360. <font color="#0B610B">Dude: Aw! I'd love to play that on the Wii!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, wouldn't we all.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: I have Mega Man 9 on my PlayStation 3. And plus I was able to download the add-on content. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hm. Yeah I tried that- Yeah I have a component cable yeah I tried that uhh. But uh, yeah it didn't work out for me so I ended up using- it just came up like black and white so I just ended up using the video input on the, uh, back of the TV port it still works for me. And uh, Mega Man 9 is OK, in my humble opinion, it's alright.

[Short pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uhhh no. Not yet. [''Someone talks in the background, indistinct. Pause''] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Right.

[''Pause. More indistinct talking, Pause''] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh. That's Interesting.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Touhou (pronounced toe-who)?

[radio or TV in background] <font color="#800080">Trap: You don't remember those things?

[Pause] <font color="#0B610B">Dude: Ahh. I'm so out of the loop.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmm. Yeah, never really heard of that Uhhh. And I don't really play too many PC games, nowadays.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ahh well, um. PC... can't stand the memory upgrade, that's for sure.

[''Background noise, sounds like a TV. Pause''] <font color="#800080">Trap: [Forced laughter]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh. Uh, yeah my mom just, uh, my family just bought- my mom- my family just bought the uh BMW, just uh basically I can't tell you much more beyond that.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Ahh.

[''More odd background noise. Pause''] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah uh... Yeah I've heard of that, and I've decided that I'd rather not do that. I mean, PC is PC enough and PS3 is PS3 enough. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: I have a PC input on my H- on my HDTV and it's like I could just set up and put my tower in there if I wanted to. But I've decided not to. My room is quite cluttered... enough, anyway.

[Brief pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Pretty much my Lego CWCville is taking up like an L quip- an L port- An L shaped portion of it. <font color="#800080">Trap: When'd you get started on your Lego CWCville?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Lifetime. Start off with one brick and then you buy more bricks and basically-and there you go. Took a lifetime. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeahhh, but yeah but my family's like a bunch of pack rats and uh, it's like you know, a bunch of their rooms is, like, cluttered. It's like- it's like, to quote a bit from a Monty Python episode I downloaded. [Sudden ear-raping falsetto] Morning Missus Robinson! Morning Missus Robinson! You been out shopping? No! I've been shopping! What'd you buy? A piston engine! What'd you buy that for?! IT WAS A BARGAIN. [Microphone problems of some sort?] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: If. Buy stuff from uh, g- like uh, Goodwill and Salvation Army because [More God-awful falsetto] IT WAS A BARGAIN! <font color="#800080">Trap: You do find the most interesting shirts, I'll tell you that.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, mostly they come from like, Goodwill or Salvation Army. Ahh, Yeah- I'll uh, definitely consider, uh uh if a demo- If a demo Resistant- Resident Evil 5 comes out and uh it has online capability I'll uh, might play it on that, Julie. [Long pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Alright. Cuz you know, uh, like I've stated there was times. And I'm 100% unaminous in it. I'm against uh, homosexual males, period. Especially since I had the bad experiences in the... elementary school with the principal and all. <font color="#800080">Trap: I'm so sorry.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. I appreciate the Sonichu Girls. Well-I mean, uh, I mean I take tha- I mean, uh. Wait, I'll respect men, but uh that's, that's as far as I'll go...in the, in the level of liking men. I mean, just beyond respect [makes "Pff" sound] Nothing. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmm. [Some sort of hacking sound] Hmmm. Eeeahh, aright hang on, hang on, let me answer Cogsdev's question about lesbians. [Laughter] <font color="#800080">Trap: Hmmmm, well now, how'd you get into lesbians?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It was just one of the- it was just one of the bunch of the- it was just one of the bunch of the videos on a DV- on a DVD I got free from a... ner- from a... from a female sex doll order on the AdamEve.com. <font color="#800080">Trap: Wow...

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah well, I'm saying that I hate homo males. And plus uh, I don't like, I don- I'm not- I'm not fond of men in general, cuz my father, he picks more arguments than flies in a garbage dump. That's my personal joke about... Yeah I know but- yeah but still then there was the principal in the elementary school, again. And uh also I have tests from- from when I was being tested for Autism- <font color="#800080">Trap: Mmm-Hmm?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: That s- it said I'd get along- that I would get along better with fe- with uh, girls than I do with guys. So that's, so lot of, lot of aspects and points that uh lead up to my personal feelings- and I mean nothing personal against anybody, it's just that's the way I feel, would prefer not to uh, be too close to the men. I mean uh, I mean- uhehuhuh I mean like I said as far as I'll go is respect. Respect. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah I uh- Yeah I uh yeah I hear you, yeah I hear you on that but, hmm... Yeah but uh yeah umm I guess as a friend it's OK- I guess, eyaah, you know you can quote me on this uh, as a friend it- as a friend it's OK but you know uh I mean it's, but like it comes to like meet- uh, meeting new ones, uhh, I prefer to just kinda keep my distance. At time. I read these-I read these lines here. Hmm.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Aaaow. What's an SG?

<font color="#800080">Trap: A Sonichu Girl.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh, Oh, Oh. Yeah.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm... Yeah I thought of visiting another country, but you know it's uh expensive. I mean uh, I went- I mean uh I've only traveled on airplane one time. It was to fly all the way to California to visit my uh, half brother Cole Smithey who has a website ColeSmithey.com. [Typing] <font color="#800080">Trap: Mm-hmm... Well... I will check that out.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Actually his whole name is Joseph Cole Smithey, but he also likes to go by "Joe Cool", like Snoopy. <font color="#800080">Trap: Ahhh.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ahhhhhhh. Yeah between umm...

[Short pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Probably but uhhh... I mean, even though I'm... even though I- even though I feel, I mean I feel more, um... Well I guess but In the end I'd still, uhhh... [Pause, momentary noise, then another pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: I just say I guess to that question. But you know I would be- I'm encouraging straight... love between uh, straight couples. Men and women. I mean I encourage that more.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion.

[Pause, recording seems to cut out and recorder's typing is heard] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: And all, huh. Yeah OK But uh also I mean I'm uh, also, I've uh talked to others before with uh, Sarah, my uh s- s- Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys. <font color="#800080">Trap: Huh, that- that- Yeah I think I get that, you know I mean a woman's bodies is just a bit uh better, wouldn't you agree? <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uhh, I'm sorry what was the adjective you just used?

<font color="#800080">Trap: I said they look a bit better. Wo- womens, women's women's bodies look... Let me do this again. Women's bodies look a bit better. <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Hmm. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uhhhh.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ummm.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uhh you know you sent me- you sent me a picture on PlayStation Network, Julie, and I'll take it into consideration but let me ask, uh... An incest? <font color="#800080">Trap: Whatumean? [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: What?

<font color="#800080">Trap: Incest... Yeah incests.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Eh, yeah sure. Send me a picture and I'll Skype later, Julie. But yeah uh what's a- What is an incest? I mean I've heard that word, I've never really understood it.

<font color="#800080">Trap: She posted it right on the left.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh as in- Oh as in sex between bro... siblings. Oh.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Yeah. Right. Brother-sister, sister-sister.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah... Um, yeah I would definitely discourage that. Because you know, that a- that's another- that's another- that's another thing-that's another-that's another...bad- that's another bad way to go.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Wow...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Plus also- plus also, uh, you all know the story of Anne Boleyn and I believe I mentioned- believe it- believe I mentioned before that it was spread around that my ancestor, was Anne- my ancestor, in an aunt sort of sense was Anne Boleyn.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Mmm Hmm?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: So I'm a possible full descendant [sic] would be Mary Boleyn.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Wow...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: But yeah it's like you know I'm trying to find the missing link between Mary, and the first Earl of Portland, Richard Weston. I- I've looked it up on Wikipedia.

[Brief Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: But uh, but yeah, but anyway getting back to the uh Anne Boleyn thing, I saw the movie The Other Boleyn Girl <font color="#800080">Trap: Mmm Hmm?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: And then I- and then I- and then I saw the part where uh, you know it's like- you know Anne lost- lost a child in her uh, while she slept and then uh, yeah that just, that basically happened right there and there was like you know she tried to get pregnant form the uh, from her brother, George, I believe his name was.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Mmm Hmm?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, like you know, it just didn't happen, I know- I know that for sure but like you know my first thought was like yeah... don't do that. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Eh, it just depends on my inspiration but like you know, with the stress lately it's kind of hard to uh get inspired. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Sigh] Yeah, but it's like you know- most of the process of removing myself from the comic and that's pretty much linking it to my real life there.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Mmm Hmm?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: So if that's the best link to your real life, it's kind of hard to, uh, keep it up to date there.

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: Mmm? <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah I'm removing myself at the end- at the end of the second eh, I'm taking myself out at the number two comic. Eh, yeah sure Julie, send 'em to me through Skype.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Since you have the window open. Ahh. Alright so, to answer the question, but like... between sisters, uh... <font color="#800080">Trap: Mmm hmm? Uhh?

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: About that...

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ummmmmm...

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: I mean it's not like they're gonna reproduce, y'know...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#800080">Trap: So... There's no messed up stuff there.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeaaah... Uhhh... I dunno. I guess between sisters... I guess that's OK. I mean I'm not saying for certain. <font color="#800080">Trap: Uh-huh...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm not saying for certain. But like, you know, it's possibly OK. But I'm not saying for certain.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Hmm.

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: It's uh, black, by the way.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I see.

<font color="#800080">Trap: It's a pretty nice car.

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: Okay, hm.

[''Pause. Broken for a moment when Chris sighs, then continued silence.''] <font color="#800080">Trap: Hmm. You know.

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: I mean it runs about the same way, you know.

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: I'll-

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: Ah, I dunno. But here's the thing. We'll get them. We'll get them, yeah- Ford's gonna come through. I mean we get the Fiesta from Mexico, 2010. I mean you guys will finally get the European Ford Focus, which is a way better looking car. I'd still invite him. Oh the Tata. The uh, Tata Nano. That uses the air compressor. [Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: I have my limo though. My family has always had limos or alpines.

[Background noise, then pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: (Mumbling to self) <font color="#800080">Trap: So I'm curious, I hear a TV in the background, what are you watching by any chance?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No actually you're listening to- I turned down, I turned down my radio, listening to 95.1 Rock, with John Tesh on the nightly run. <font color="#800080">Trap: Oh, yeah, yeah...

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: I myself am in uh Louisville, Kentucky.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh. Louisville. I once- I once knew- I once knew an uncle Screwy-Louie who lived in Louisville.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Oh. <font color="#0033FF">Chris: That's a little pun-joke I made up.

<font color="#800080">Trap: [Forced laughter] [''Typing. It's really, really loud''] <font color="#800080">Trap: Oh, that's cool, you should, come visit me, you know. We could take my little hatchback, my little half-hatch and have fun. Yeah. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: [apparently farts] Ahh. 'scuse me.

<font color="#800080">Trap: What kinda weather have there right now, we have a big snowstorm... [inaudible] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: We- we- We just have- we just have a little bit of snow and ice over here in Virginia.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Alright, yeah. We got hit pretty hard here. Thankfully I didn't, but others did.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. That's basically I- basically the worst I had to deal with was just slipperiness. Eh.

[Pause, Intermittent background noise] <font color="#800080">Trap: [Laughs] [Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: Well, wait, what the very first snow is? Well they have like, uhh... OK, I got a joke for you. I have a joke for you. How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Three Canadians out of a pole?

<font color="#800080">Trap: Out of a pool. A swimming pool.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh, pool.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Mmm-Hmmm.

<font color="#800080">Trap: No. No.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: A ladder?

<font color="#800080">Trap: No. "OK, everybody out of the pool." [Stifled laughter] Cuz they're so polite.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ahaa!

<font color="#800080">Trap: Cuz they're so polite. Cuz they're so, yeah, Cuz they're so polite they're just like "Oh, OK"

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: -Play hockey. Huh. Yeah I get it.

<font color="#800080">Trap: I have a cousin in Quebec. You get to make fun of, of the other people.

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: Oh, OK, I shall look at whatever this is.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It's her character. That she made.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Oh. Ooooh![inaudible] her character. I like it. [Brief Pause] I need to get back to France sometime in the future. I wanna go see a lot of concerts. Lot of people- lot of the bands I like don't come to America much, if at all. I really wanna see Weasel. Or maybe Sialia, they're from Belgium. Or Sisters of Mercy, one of the many many summer concerts they always play. [brief pause] Have you ever been to a concert, um, Chris? [Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: Did we lose him? Umm...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm still here.

<font color="#800080">Trap: So have you ever been to any concerts in your life? Ever?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Concerts. I've been to a few but I can't remember.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Huhh. Yeah that's, uhhh... Give me a few minutes I'll show you some footage from the last one. You guys keep talking about video games and stuff. If you can. <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Just whatever comes to mind.

[Pause, loud noises, then silence] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I hear that, but uh, yeah if they're serious they would vouch for your trip in the first place, advance you the money. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmm. Yes. I see. And plus, also, pretty much the lack, the lack of advanced money there... pretty much convinced my parents disbelief in Mr. Miyamoto and all, and all that that happened there.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, but I didn't even have the money in the first place.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: My credit card was pretty much maxed.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Oooh. Ouch.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ehhh. Greater than that.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Right.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Ehhh. Problems, you know. But it's fine, I think. At least we've got a new president.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: You know I actually saw both A&E- A&E Biographies, I downloaded both from the PlayStation Network between the McCain and Obama. Pretty much, like you know, the comic, the one page comic joke came up before I ever saw the documentaries. So it's like you know, I saw documentaries, and I end up seeing more of myself in Obama than in McCain. Like, I mean, who would you vote for, the one you saw more of yourself in as an outcast and all that, or the war hero?

<font color="#800080">Trap: Hmm. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Why?

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ohhhhh. Really, huh.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Well yeah, I mean it's like you know, let em le-let em learn bo- let em learn both ways and let them figure out which one is more accurate to them individually. That's the way I feel about it. I mean it's like, all the stories, and then- and then you figure out in your own humble opinion which is more believable to you in your humble opinion, you just follow that basically. I mean before I went to any church I learned both evolution and uh, creation. And it's like you know, I can go either way, since, uh basically I took a test in U.S. Government in high school I learned I was a moderate. <font color="#800080">Trap: Ohh. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: That's- that's- that's pretty much true right there, you mean, yeah, the dinosaur days could have been a whole day for God there. And then uh, the, uh, whatever killed the dinosaurs was the beginning or the end of that day.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Hmm. Speaking of the end: Mayan calendar. December 21, 2012. What do you think about that?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: December...

<font color="#800080">Trap: 21st. 2012.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: December 21, 2012?

<font color="#800080">Trap: Oui. Mayan Calendar.

[Pause] <font color="#800080">Trap: Oui, then it starts again but the caveat is it's the start of a new world which means the old world, the one that we're in now, gets destroyed. <font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Sigh] I'd better not think about- I'd rather not think about the bad news. It's just it... Yeah, it's still bad news and it depresses me. <font color="#800080">Trap: Well I'll fix that right now. Just give me a second to type this in... (mumbling) There's uhh... that's probably the biggest show I've ever been to. I knew a Bob and Geraldo he's kind of a cool guy. Hangs out in Germany a bit more than France, but uh, heh heh, yeah I was lucky to see him in Seattle. I was on business, before I decided to kinda settle here.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeahh... I well I appreciate that but you don't have to make any effort for me to feel better, I mean, just give me some time without any bad news and I'll eventually feel better.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Alright, fair enough.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: That's something I'll about.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Oui.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah I checked- [brief pause] Yeah actually I checked it recently and that top, that top that top piece of information that was on top of the page said it was going away, went away. So they pretty much just introduced stuff and they pretty much just extended it's life. [Loud sigh] I'm not going to believe it, you know even though it's advertisements saying it's gonna go away I can't believe it until it's actually gone. You know like that guy who couldn't believe in Jesus until, like you know, he could actually see and touch Jesus.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Hmmm.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: The-uh, the administrators behind the ED page want to get rid of it.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Sigh] Hope so. I'm just, you know, sick of it being there. It was pretty much one of the factors that also made Miyamoto question my person and incentives and all that. It-

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: I did not send them anything like that. That was a- that was a troll, who went under my screen, that hacked into- that was Clyde who hacked into my AOL address and spammed the uh, quote-unquote “confession” which was a huge lie.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Anyways it was Clyde. I hate that jerk (pronounced joike).

<font color="#800080">Trap: Hmmm.

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Sighs very loudly]

[Pause, intermittent background noise] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, to quote New Brian from an episode Family Guy. Inspiration does not have a schedule so it's like you know. One day you can be inspired to do something and the next day something bad happens and you're like drained from days to weeks to months. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Yeah I tried but then more bad stuff happens and it just drags me down further. Especially my father, causing an argument when I'm trapped with him in the car.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Hmmm.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Sigh] [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: I uh- I tried to- I tried to ignore him, but still, eventually he will cross the line and hit a nerve.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Uh oh.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, like, recently when I blocked him out so much he eventually gave me the finger and I was like [Ear rapingly high voice] “Did you just give me the finger?!”

<font color="#800080">Trap: [Forced laughter] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I did the headphone thing as well, I mean I'd turn on whatever I had saved on my PSP in the line of like a television show or a movie I've downloaded or have copied to the Memory Stick.

[Pause, intermittent background noise] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Oh, And uh, Julie, I know I could take him on he's friggin' 81. But it's like, you know he's my father and I have to respect him. I mean I don't have to love him but I have to respect him. Yeah. [Yawn] Lot of life factors that can bring you up or take you down. <font color="#800080">Trap: Yeah... Hey Chris. Have you ever thought, like, just randomly, what it would be like if you were a cyborg? You know, half man, half machine? <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uhhh. Yeah that doesn't happen but uh, a bunch of time, I often will randomly ponder what my life would be like if I was actually born a woman.

<font color="#800080">Trap: [Surprised] Oh really?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, but... I dunno, but, you know, I mean I would theorize that it could be better than my life now.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Alright.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: But- well I dunno. I mean uh, I can't think of any- I can't think of them right now. But eventually then-but eventually- but eventually in the end I would always realize eh, I can't change it at this point. God gave me the package and I signed for it. <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, probably from an episode of Family Guy. Stewie said it. Yeah the uh- [brief pause] Yeah the episode I'm talking about is the one where Stewie had his female baby- his babysitter he fell in love with, then he like, put the baby bottle in his diaper and says [Terrible Stewie Impression] “Oh, this is just me being myself. Oh, this? This is um, this us um, this is just my package. God delivered it, I signed for it.” [brief pause] But you know, in Family Guy I'm most fond of Megan Marie Griffin. I mean it's just too bad that she gets the bad end of the deal. She deserves a lot better. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, yeah I know, I know “Road to Germany”. Yeah. Yeah. [High, whiny voice] “Can I use your restaurant? I've taken a whole bunch of stool softener and now I've really gotta go.” [Some other voice] “Oh yeah sure, Martin just go upstairs to the bathroom.” [Third voice] “I'll be out in a minute! “I'll be right out!” “She said she'll be out in a minute!” “Giggidy giggidy goo!”

<font color="#800080">Trap: Oui... Oh, so Cogs had a suggestion...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah I know, I read it. I'm definitely not doing that. I'm not doing that. I mean uh, you know... Yeah I'm definitely not doing that. Yeah. I think he's like refereeing for that such, that the- kind of over the counter drug just basically gives you like bigger... gives the man like, bigger man boobs, and shrivels up the uhhh... dick.

Girl: Attack of the killer Moobs!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh boy. I mean, hey, you know, any man who's dumb enough to take hormones may as just go ahead pay up thousands of dollars for a sex change. In that episode where they showed Mr. Garrison actually having that surgery that just turned me off.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Yeah but you... Gonna be a woman might as well use those god-given ovaries, right?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. [Brief pause] I mean, I may as well go ahead and say it, because it's a fact that's been on my mind for long time I mean. I'd sooner have a sex change before I would ever turn into a homo.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Oh... <font color="#0033FF">Chris: But uh yes Julie, what is, what you got, what you want to say there?

[Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Sigh] Yeah, but I'd rather not. Besides, I really should go get something to eat cuz I fell asleep at the 9:00 Hour and I just woke up during the 3:00 hour.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Huhh...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, another time perhaps. Yep. Well whatever, if you want to send me an invite- if you want to send me... wait. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uhhh. Julie I'll give you permission to share that. Among the, uh, among these fans here.

<font color="#800080">Trap: Oh? <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah cuz she was talking to me on a Skype window as well. [Pause] <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah but also, lemme uh, I mean yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even though- even though- Even though those people be born- can be born that way, some people can be changed. I mean, that's what I heard, and uh, you know, I'm definitely not going to change. So you know- if anything- If anything I'm definitely born straight, you know, you hear on like Family Guy you know for gals it's a choice. For women it's a choice. <font color="#800080">Trap: Oh, to your left (referring to the placement of the chat window in Mumble). <font color="#0033FF">Chris: Being a homo. Alright. I'm straight so I will not be changed. Alright so anyway I'm gonna get something to eat so I'll come back later. Y'all take care. [Chris signs off, trolls converse among selves] <font color="#00FF00">GeckoMantis: I got most of that recorded- I got all of that recorded for when I returned back. [Typing] <font color="#00FF00">GeckoMantis: I just sent him a message, from uh, in my, from Skype saying "This is GeckoMatis from the Mumble, add me as your friend. Also I'm logged in as GeckoMantis now. [Trolls conversing] <font color="#00FF00">GeckoMantis: Should I stop recording?

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