Chris's Big Night Out



On 12 June 2009, Chris visited a local bar/restaurant, where he encountered Kim Wilson and another guy who recorded and uploaded clips of their time spent with Chris to YouTube. This event has been referred to as Chris's Big Night Out.

Grip 'n' Sip
In the first video, Chris broke his 27-year period of abstaining from alcohol and had a sip (and then two tall glasses) of Long Island Iced Tea. Chris's choice isn't recommended for novice drinkers, because it contains vodka, triple sec, rum, tequila and gin (plus lemon juice, simple syrup and Coke), making it a rather strong cocktail to start off on. Chris probably chose it because he assumed, due to its name, that it was literally just iced tea. Note that, when he swallows the drink, he performs the same reaction as when he recycles his navy.

"Mmm! Goes down salty."

Transcript
["Te Quiero Igual Que Ayer - Bachata" by Monty & Alexandria plays in the background]

Kim: So...so what do you have right now, Chris?

Chris: Long Island Iced Tea.

[The camera is turned sideways]

Guy: Say that one more time?

Chris: Long Island Iced Tea.

Guy: All right...rock it!

Kim: Okay!

[Chris shuts his eyes and takes a tiny sip]

Kim: What do you think of it?

[Chris swallows the sip with some difficulty]

Chris: Mmm! Goes down salty.

Kim: It's kinda salty?

Chris: Yep...but it's pretty tasty.

Kim: Yeah.

Guy: Rock on! All right!

Girl: So...look excited!

[Chris smiles almost imperceptibly]

Kim: [laughs] You don't look very excited!

Guy: No, "excited"--no, "excited"--"excited” is--[video cuts off in the middle of a word]

Chris Loves The Nightlife
In another notable video, Chris dances around and sings "I Love the Nightlife". While it's not surprising that Chris still thinks he can sing, it's shocking that he visited a club, since he's said before that he would never do such a thing.

It should come as no surprise to anyone--except perhaps Chris--that "I Love the Nightlife" is a song with a large gay following. Long-time trolls will notice that Chris made use of this same song during his CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters video. It should be noted that this song was also featured in several episodes of The Simpsons, like the Long Island Iced Tea he drank during the course of the evening, further proving that Chris has never had an original thought ever.

"I love the nightlife! I've got to boogAY!"

Transcript
[Video starts in the quarter-middle of Chris's performance of "I Love the Nightlife", his voice sporadically cracking and his arms periodically flailing throughout]

DJ: Ah, yes, indeed! Christopher!

Transcript
Chris: --onichu's still rockin' in my head!

Kim: [laughs]

Transcript
Kim: [presumably to Chris] --ight now.

Chris: Like a balloon!

Kim: [laughs]

Guy: [to Chris] Y'all catch a balloon fish?

Man in Background: Whoop! Whoop!

Guy: [to a passing bro] Hey, dude—check it out! He got a fish!

Bro: Oh.

Kim: [laughs again]

Chris and His PSP
"You get to see two naked ladies."

Transcript
Chris: ...o the, of the winning videos of the PaRapper the Rapper contest when it came out on the PSP version of that game.

[camera moves to show Chris's face]

Kim: Smile!

[Chris pulls a creepy smile]

Kim: [laughs]

Guy: What about the err, explain, explain the omega one again.

[camera moves back to Chris's hand]

Chris: [inhales sharply] Got it with thee err, pre-release demo disc of...God of War: Chains of Olympus.

[camera moves back to Chris's face]

Kim: Do you like that game?

Chris: Yeah! It was fun. I completed it.

Kim: Ohhh.

Chris: And especially, y’know, there's a fun part in the beginning, and, uh, you get to see two naked ladies, and...Kratos basically has sex with them, but it shoots off-screen—

Kim: Two naked ladies? [laughs]

Chris: --and then, like, it shakes all over the place!

Guy: I tell ya, a game--

Aftermath


Kim Wilson accidentally revealed some personally identifying information to Chris, in the form of a license plate he saw and memorized.