Shoe Colouring



Shoe Colouring is a set of videos that Chris uploaded to YouTube on 3 August 2018. They follow him as he spray-paints a pair of white Adidas sneakers in a quite messy fashion, using absolutely nothing to cover up his carpet from getting stained (which does happen later on). Throughout the nearly hour-long video, Chris interjects with bouts of random-access humor, while talking to Barb about topics like what to sell on eBay, and things she needs to buy (and during these parts, Chris frequently addresses the viewers directly to buy stuff from him). Chris also frequently talks to his mom in a dramatic and rather rude manner.

Description
Watch me colour my new shoes to continue the style as I like it, in the next video.

Transcript
[Chris waves to the camera] Hey everybody on Youtube Land or whatever, this is Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu! Coming to you live from home once again! Yep.

And today I'm 'bout to show y'all something very spectacular that I think you'll all be quite amazed with... want y'all to (know???) that this is a little do-it-yourself project, so make sure your jewelry is concealed... [Shows how his necklace is concealed under his smock and Blue Clopper]

And you're wearing a... smock *Waves the bottom of the smock around* or apron. And paint will be invovled so... enjoy yourself.

Shoe Colouring
Chris spends an hour spray painting his shoes. He is too lazy to place anything underneath them and consequently stains his carpet with yellow paint. Creepily, he continues to refer to his mother as "dear".

Description
Watch me colour my new shoes (of the same brand and style as the previous ones) to continue the style as I like it on me.

Transcript
[00:00]

Alright, so we're going to get down to it y'all will have the bird's-eye view of- possibility here thanks to this little camera accessory I have. Anyway, we're looking at a new pair of shooooes! You like it when I new pair of shoes, I had to get a new pair, anyway this is no- anyway this the shoe bo- the box for the new pair this is my old shoes I have recently anyway they're Adidas Neo and here they are right there with the shipping tape on the cover on top of it to keep them in kind of a display type of thing so here they are in there faded glory, so that's the old shoes and here we have... the new shoes! Same thing, Adidas Neo, took out the shoe laces a little while ago and we're going to get to work on coloring these going from all the white to yellow and blue. So what you need here is, uh, so you're gonna watch me as I go we can either use duct tape or shipping tape and the paint we will be using is, uh, Tulip Color Shot, intent fabric color, it's permanent on the fabric and hey, between the yellow and the cobalt blue as you can see right there, I also have black for in case I mess up and get it on the black stripes there. In case you want to do this for yourself and I welcome that y'all deck out your shoes as you like it, the way I see it white's, it's like a blank canvas and they come in this packaging, this type of packaging, these two are Color Shots. Anyway definately want to make sure these are, we- aimed away from your face, just to show you an example the nozzle, look for the nozzle, make sure that this is away from your face okay! It's common sense, it's common sense! You don't want to spray yourself in the face, you want to aim it forward and you want to make sure you shake it up before each use. But for now, we are going to repair these shoes so we get them from this, to that in color, to do this one shoe at a time so I'm pretty much show y'all, doing this for one shoe so you, you tape it from the one, you apply it to the other, do it for yourselves, it's all good. Alright so, I'm deciding, I'm thinking as I go...

[02:45]

Ehh, fortunately I still have these for reference, the original pair. Yeah, I am going to use the duct tape, pulling out a good strip of it, kinda... then, gonna rip it in half, down the line like a zippity zipper, and this will go around the basse of the shoooe, you want to keep that white and pretty, whether or not weather gets involved. It did rain some today so I had to- which that's another thing, if the shoe- if the shoes are dirty, just make sure you wipe the mud off. But anyway, in the end we will be removing this duct tape, it's only temporary to keep the paint from getting on- to where we don't want it! But, there remains duct tape, and it's some more, start on the other shoe as well and I'm thinking about that, I don't know, I'm just thinking as I go. It's those creative types, we think as we go, sometimes, some of us will plan ahead, fortunately I did plan some of this before some, yeah, I'm working off the seat of my tail. (Chris hums to himself) It's nice to have a lap to work on with all of this. Hairs NOT INCLUDED in package! Although some fun is included in each and every clu- ideas clu- fun package! This is a foam sample charm I just got one, second one I have I don't know where the first one is I lost it some time ago. Foam sample feals nice and cushy yay! Hehe.

[05:20]

Okay, so I am going to cover up what is going to be blue later, and I'll... do everything else in yellow, just watch it, the back of my shoes, yeah those will be blue so I definitely want to cover up that neck of the woods. So yeah you can use your common sense and just cover up what is NOT going to be the color that is- it going to be laterrr. Let me spread yellow over the, shoot. Hmm, well just, I'm figuring this out as I go. (Chris sings to himself) So yeah, we're doing all the yellow parts. So yeah, we can work along the lines of the shoe where... just fold that up a little bit and goes there, around there, yeah that's going to be yellow. (Chris applies duct tape to the shoe) I'm going to cover up the black so it doesn't accidentally become yellow... Break out the popcorn because this is good YouTube entertainment, duct tape your shoe and have fun with it.

[15:41]

(Barbra enters the room)

Barb: How are you doing?

Chris: Hello, hey everybody guess who here- Barbara Ann, there's Barbara Ann say hello, oh darn it, oh boy, and we're seeing that mark on your face tell'em what happened.

Barb: Ain't nobody not gonna see nobody's gonna see anything.

Chris: I'm recording myself decorating my shoes, so they could do it for themselves. Yeah, anyway those uh anyways-

Barb: Is this one decorated, or is that the old one?

Chris: Yeah, that's the other- yeah that's the other one I just finished painting the yellow parts, I'm gonna, remove the tape and then add more tape to cover the parts that are going to be blue, anyway. Ugh, mama tripped on the wet grass outside hit her face on the ground sheeeee's, yeah. I help pick her up, get her inside, got her ointment, emergency treatment, she's okay. Now what was I doing, oh right... (Chris continues taping up the shoe) She tripped, it was a painful fall, really painful, oey, ouh, uh.

Barb: How much did they cost?

Chris: The shoes?

Barb: Yeah.

Chris: Oh, they're about um fifty bucks.

Barb: Fifty?

Chris: Yeah.

Barb: I thought so.

Chris: Yeah, they're really nice shoes.

Barb: They are, they look nice.

Chris: Yeah, they're going to be even nicer after I finish customizing, the permanent fabric paint.

Barb: I bought another roll of duct tape today.

Chris: Oh, oh yeah- oh yeah I noticed you did.

Barb: It's expensive.

Chris: Yeah, when you got the screws for the- for the mirror, yeah she's making my- a vertical stand- vertical mirror going to be- it's going to be horizontal for gonna be hanging it in my place here, my room here later after she gets it done but she's been doing very well, she's very awesome, she's quite physically able and whatnot, she can- I'm very proud of my mom.

Barb: I'm real proud of you too.

Chris: Thank you.

Barb: Boy, this van drives good with those new tires.

Chris: Oh, excellent, that's right we uh, he's part of that money the big money to pay for those tires, those tires that went on the van. Well the car wasn't ready soon enough so we to use it for the van and it worked out, that was like four hundred dollar bill.

Chris (mumbling to himself): I need to take deep, deep, deep... the fire hasn't begun yet, it hasn't, yeah, somebody better tall that shadow cause somebody beat me to it again. Oh, red skeleton...

Barb: When do you have to punch the holes?

Chris: No, I'm removing the tape later so I don't need to punch the holes, the holes are staying there. (To himself) Well it's under the script it's somewhat important, so many details, so little time.

Barb: You're not painting where the tape is?

Chris: Right, the paint is- the tape is going o- is going where we don't want paint to be on. That's the idea. Videos are an intelligent concept on the mano stet I don't know. (To himself) What we talking 'bout? We're singing, we're dancing, lalalalalala. Ah, I'm a little tired.

Barb: Yeah, you can put my roll on- of tape up here where that was so you have it to use and I'll- I can allways come down- I don't use it often, I use it to check the big bags.

Chris: That's fair, that's fair dear it's good, thank you.

Barb: I went out and um put the- oh uh put the bags that were in the trash cans over in the (Chris audibly burps) big trash can and... and there were still some left so I put them in two big contractor bags.

Chris: Okey-dokey.

Barb: And lift them all out there the road.

Chris: Okay. (Singing to himself) Live streaming shoe action on multiples miss opticals, whatever the hell that means, which is absolutely nothing, so.

Barb: I stopped bleeding so... washed the blood- dried blood off.

Chris: That's good, I'm really sorry you tripped, geez.

Barb: It was- it was the grass, everything was so wet amd, it, ot could be the shoes that are different than I normally wear.

Chris: The ones you're wearing. (Chris pans the camera to show Barabra)

Barb: I was wearing my white tennis shoes.

Chris: Oh, so not this pair?

Barb: No, these are my- my bedroom shoes.

Chris: Oh, that makes sense, you don't want to go outside in your bedroom slippers, because you might SLIP UP in the slippers!

Barb: I took out five bags of, uh, shredded stuff, put it in the trash cans.

Chris: Good, paper shredder, we shred our bills.

Barb: You do wear your apron, wear your-

Chris: Yeah, I have to in this case 'cause I'm using spray paint, to spray- to spray- to paint my shoes. Where did the other one go? See, spray, nozzle, faces away from your face you don't want in your face. (To himself) No licensed music in this video, we're just going as we do...

Barb: My body is still in shock, so I'm not doing anything tonight. I'm just resting.

Chris: That's okay, you uh, you still went ahead and cooked dinner, didn't you?

Barb: I had- I didn't have one piece of chicken left so I cooked one piece of chicken and one piece of fish. I saved the fish for tomorrow for lunch. And I opened the yams and I had half of them

Chris: Okay, well at least you got your lunch for tomorrow, I've already- I've had my dinner I had a roast beef sandwich, so by Arby's got a roast beef sandwich, it was good. Anyway, so everything, yeah, no, no, here comes some more yellow, yellow yellow yellow my fine fellow. (Begins to spray paint the shoe while singing) Oh yeah, that helps. (Continues) I deviate from the norm! I am a CPU Goddess storm! Just kidding as I say that. Now it's symmetrical compared to the other shoe, 'cause I didn't like that asymmetry as much yellow on one side. Check the status of this shoe.

[25:48]

Barb: I took my (clears throat) vehicle, keys, and the house and the mailbox keys and put 'em all in separate...things,-

Chris: Where did the instructions-

Barb: And I'ma leave all of my other keys at home. Cause there not...that...the weight of my keys could of damaged the ignition switch.

Chris: The weight of your keys could've damaged the ignition switch?

Barb: Yea, I thought about that I forgot.

Chris: Heah, it says here on the instructions "wait thirty minutes", "let dry thirty minutes". Hmm...Hmm, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking now. Hmm, I'm go get plastic gloves, excuse me. (Goes off screen)

[26:52]

Barb: (Chris comes back) I have a suggestion-

Chris: Whats this-

Barb: Lets just donate the full pillows to good will.

Chris: No! I may have a need for those-

Barb: Two of 'em.

Chris: No, I may have a need for those, buh...no, just no. No no no no.

Barb: Ok

Chris: Nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu. Nu, not the body pillows. Huooh, latex gloves. I'll put these on my hands. Hmm, fit to the touch. Why didn't I think of this sooner, should have done this sooner. I can't think of everything simultaneously. Ppllt. There, I got a little paint on my thumb and its not going to hurt me, brrlt. (Hums to himself) Hmm...mmm, anyway, I think, umm, the tongue back in here.

Barb: I hope its not rainin' tomorrow, because its not rainin' I will make a- take a load to goodwill.

Chris: Ok. Lets see how it is tomorrow. Alright, so let me see. I'm thinking, alright- so, yeah, I'm guessing that I remove that duct tape- that tape, see. Get that white. Get that white. Hmm

Barb: That's a pretty color.

Chris: The yellow?

Barb: Yeah

Chris: Yes, I like yellow. It's a mellow color, then we'll sing a song. Yeah, mmm. Ah, jeez. Alright, this tape really gets on my gloves. Mmm, take this off too. I guess I'll take off all the tape, and I'll just put new tape-

Barb: I'm glad we have this chair.

Chris: Yep, it's a good chair. You can sit on it.

Barb: Yeah

Chris: Mmh...mmm, I got this (unintelligible), put that over here. Mhm.

[29:06]

Chris: Put that tape on something. Put it somewhere. Hmr, prrt. (Unintelligible babbling and weird noises) Its a magic trick, comes right off. Wham! And there's the reason I have a little black- I have some... black paint. (Unintelligible) just screw up a little bit- a little bit. Just, mmh, carefully... (Unintelligible) the thing, small tap. Easy spritz, nah damn. Okay. If its that later, I'm still learning the process. Anyway, you see what I mean by controlled. Keep it close to the thing. Its fair, its valid. Ehh, I'm just gonna clean up the black on that side of the shoe ehh. Handy wipes, neheheheheheh. (Singing and/or babbling). Hmm, maybe we can wipe it off of here. Yeah, pbbt, hmm. Okay, I'll get as much of the black as I can off, and I can...hmm, yeah, I'll replace that duct tape over that middle one and...before I can. That's gonna get (unintelligible) if I don't do somethin' with it. Shoe fo bloopers, only on this video, just because! Brrrrrrrrrrrrr. Neah. Uh mmm, (babbling).

Barb: (Unintelligible)

Chris: I know! Alright. I'll-fix-it-later, I'll-fix-it-later. Neah, I'll cover up the old half parts and fix it later neah. Meah... it's a process, it's a process. It does, It does. (Burp), ahh. That felt pretty good. Just a little burp.

Barb: The bought pad I gave you was, uh, today. Would you like me to separate them for you so you can use them to- u-use for your shoulder pads?

Chris: Oh. Uhm-

Barb: It's two.

Chris: Yeah.

Barb: It's sewed together. I can-

Chris: Yeah yeah yeah, yeah.

Barb: I can take the stitches out for you.

Chris: It's fine. It's fine dear, thank you. Let me think. I'm thinking, I'm in a process! I'm in a process.

Barb: (Dry coughing)

Chris: I'm in a process. I am in a process. In my mind, in my mind. In my mind. Ok, now I got a little black on my- I'll wash it off later, pllt.

Barb: (Heavier dry coughing)

[34:02]

Chris: Get the duct tape get the duct tape get the duct tape, memememe. Mmm mmm mmm.

Barb: Those other glasses didn't work for me.

Chris: Ah, doh. Your back up pair...of glasses.

Barb: Yeah, they- they- I thought they would but they don't-

Chris: Well-

Barb: So I put back- all those back.

Chris: Ehh. Huh, we're gonna get those adjusted for you. Maybe.

Barb: I need to get new glasses. Maybe September I can afford.

Chris: Ehh, you hear that people? Send me a couple of hard bucks and I can get my mother a new pair of glasses.

Barb: (Burps)-

Chris: Pbbbbbt

Barb: Excuse me

Chris: That's alright. Hmm. Hmm Hmm. Hmmmmh, I think I should have done the blue first, that would have been easier. Mm, make a mental note people. You might want to do the blue before you do yellow, mree. Am I perfect? No. I'm still a CPU, so...deal with it. What'd I do with the duct tape? (Unintelligible babbling then humming). If it comes out it takes off any yellow, I will...worry about it later. That's about all I can do, innit it.

Barb: Yeah. One step at a time.

Chris: That's what she said!

Barb: I like my black umbrella in your car.

Chris: Black um-

Barb- I'll get it tomorrow

Chris: Okay, black umbrella. Pbbbbbbt-

Barb: Thanks for putting, uh, my, uh, umbrella head in the van. Up in the, uh-

Chris: I forgot when I did that. Oh, well.

Barb: On the- On the, uh- the back of the seat.

Chris: Ok. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. We were cleaning out the other van the other day and I put the umbrella...in the pocket behind the seat.

Barb: Yeah.

Chris: That's what I did. I did do that. We cleaned the van and I did do that.

Barb: I used it today.

Chris: Good-

Barb: I was glad it was in there.

Chris: Very good. My name's Santa, I want to sing a song and dance for Christmas alalalalalalalalala. It was a random silly thing, plllt. Ok, definitely going to need some finesse. I'm covering up the logo on the back of the shoe here. Finesse. Hm. Hm hm. Hm. Hm hm hm. Hm. Don't (Unintelligible). I don't care. I'm doing it anyway.

[38:21]

Chris: I don't care. I'm gonna do it anyways, and you shut up. Pbbt. Shut up hater. You shut up. No, you shut up. You shut up. You shut up. Jump up and down and sing, haters gonna hate (Multiple raspberry noises). Not hate allowed...in the cloud, with the foam. Pbbt, meow. (Singing).

Barb: Did you put the silverware wall chart on ebay?

Chris: Uhh, no. And I have too many other things to worry about other than frickin' ebay.

Barb: Oh-

Chris: And don't try to- too many responsibilities and- Ohy, ehh. Another moment of my life folks. Stay tuned for further details on the life of a CPU in training (fake crying). Huuuh. Have fun, pbt. Hmm, this might not-

Barb: I found, uh-

Chris: A dollar-

Barb: Mr. Chandler's, uh, instruction manual bones, b o n e s-

Chris: Oh-

Barb: How to play bones-

Chris: Oh the- Oh-

Barb: And (Clears throat), uh, they're full bones-

Chris: Them bones them bones them-

Barb: So, I think you could sell it for a hundred and fifty dollars.

Chris: Mmm. You hear that folks? If I have a- if i put them on ebay for one hundred and fifty dollars maybe you'll pay for my mother's new glasses. Huh, huh, wouldn't that be nice? (Weird Chris noises). I have blue paint.

[40:33]

Chris: I been paint blue. Sharpie blue paint. Gloves, gloves, gloves. Pbbt. (sigh), I think I'm gonna get the whole box of those vinyl gloves. I got some- I got a box. I have a box (Struggling grunts). This is happening, that's happening, it all happening. Anything is possible and everything is happening, so yippidy dippy do do bla bla bla bla bla, pbbbt. And my mother thinks it f- mother smiles when I do silly kind of things, and I'm felling tired, feeling sleepy. Nah, nah I'm okay. Guys, boobooboobooboo. Boop and a doop, it'd be okay either way. Hmm. Gonna do this (Unintelligible). Might get blue on the inside there. (Maniacal laugh), I got a blue ring on my finger. Ahh.

Barb: You got it on the carpet.

Chris: Don't worry about the carpet, pbt. Now, come on later. Now, shut up. Oh, I see an opportunity. Be awesome, take caution, watch out for me I'm awesome as I wanna be. Awesome as a wanna be, yeah. Nah. Call about my leg, I'm okay.

Barb: I enjoyed my time with you. Uh, I gotta go lay on my back- with my back rest.

Chris: Okay.

Barb: Cause it hurts.

Chris: I hear you. I love you, dear.

Barb: Love you, baby. See you later.

Chris: See you later.

Barb: I washed all you towels and washcloths.

Chris: Oh, thank you. (Noises that sound like an upset stomach). Before remove any tape from that. Huh, see how this feels. That feels more dry now, so that's good. (Burp and throwing up in mouth noises). Yeah, that's okay. Good, that's okay. Uhh. I might have an easier now on this one. Uncut video, live on youtube. Brought to you by...monkeys in the zoo. What did you want me to do? Nothin'. Hmm. It's there, has some flare. Mhm. Hhm, Okay. Hhm mm. You can leave all the hate comments you want, I'm still doing this. Hehe. (Chris noises). Can I tell you somethin'. Doopty doop doop boop, pbbt. Go do somethin'. Huh, happy looking barbecue. Why doesn't mine look like that? Hrrm. (Unintelligible), hahahahahaha pbt. Hahahaha. (Humming). Thank you very much, we're gonna sing a song. Pbbt, come on chief. Do something'. Okay chief, I think I'm gonna go over here now (fake snoring) pbt. (Singing) sing a random song, and jump up and down (more singing). Wee. Wee, have fun. (Random noises). We like to sing and dance, put on your silly pants. I'm not crazy, it's just how we vent in things we do when we do when we're really bored and (raspberries). Lalala, wee. Knat Knat. Okay, hehe. He's so- pbbt. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty, brrrr brr brr brr. (random Chris noise). Hmmm, pbt, I missed it. That's okay, we'll do it again. Good as it gets, place your bets. No fish. Where is our dish. Bbrrr, mheee. Hahahaha, I'm not crazy. Stay tuned for further details. We're just having silly fun, silly random fun while we are doing tedious chore work. Pbbbt. (random Chris noises) We're making noises. Tune in to the random noise channel, for all your random noise needs. Hehehehehehe, pbt. Me like being silly, mreee weee. Ehh. I know what you're thinking 'this per- this individual is not a CPU goddess'. Yes, yes I am.

[51:25]

Chris: So, take it, love it, serpabloom. And then stop hating, because you are wasting time hating pbbt. Now you pick those. Toppin the Dodo, follow me and you can go solo? Hmm, that's fair. That was a fair little rhyme. Brrt. We like to laugh, and sing, and dance. I am the gay Prince Lancelot I like to sing and dance a lot. Lalalalalalalala, pbbt. No, you're not. Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Bibitty bibitty boo. Woop, boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. Hmm, hahahahahaha. We are singing at everything and everything hmm mm mm. Hmm, mmh eh. Arty, ya' misted a spot. Now what was that spot spot again. Hmm, mm there it is. Ok, gettin' the gloves- gettin'...gloves on. I think I hear a dolt. (weird Chris noises).

Barb: I'm gonna leave your wash cloths here.

Chris: Ah, no. Put 'em in the- put 'em- put 'em there, please. Put the on the clothing stack. Up here. And leave those. Those are just receipts from today, among which- and that's the shoe receipt you're looking at. Would you please put it back and get out of my way. You're in my way right now.

Barb: Don't forget to...shred 'em.

Chris: I'll shred them later. Thank you.

Barb: Okay

Chris: Go on. Go on. Thank you. I love you.

Barb: I love you.

Chris: Lippidy dippidy do, pbbt. (Unintelligible) annoying thing. I don't wanna get interrupted. Don't interrupt. (singing and weird noises). (more weird noises and singing). (Clears throat). Mmh, all done? I think we're done. Mmh. Hmm, ok, so essentially the point is we got both shoes...mostly- both shoes painted. Gonna wait for the paint to dry, it's gonna take about half an hour so, and I'm pretty much going to end this video now. Sp, yeah. That's...huh, I can fix that. Huh. Muh. Its not always gonna be perfect, but it when it works, it works. I'll post a picture of these completed and done on my twitter in a little- in a little while. So, there it is. I just showed you how to paint your shoes, and after they're dried and all is said and done make sure you put your shoelaces back in and zip. Zip. (random Chris noises) I mean, c'mon, you know how to pay out- you know- everybody knows how to put laces in shoes. If you don't know, you have the internet. You have the internet. Look it up. Alright, so anyway that's it. I'm Christine Chandler. You have been watching this channel. You have been watching me color shoes. Thank you, have a good day. Support this CPU Blue Heart comma CWCville yes.

[End of Video]