Opie and Anthony

Opie and Anthony was a radio talk show in the United States that ran from 1995 to 2014. Well known for airing a number of controversial topics and stunts that resulted in several station firings and FCC fines, they operated independently on SiriusXM from 2004 onward, which is receivable by approximately 20 million people.

Chris was featured by the show in May 2009. The hosts commented on a Captain's Log in which Chris had admitted to drinking his own semen, among other things.

Transcript
Opie: Now, this. I'm just gonna keep saying "now, this" and, and just start, --

Anthony: [deep voice] And now this.

Opie: --start audio.


 * Chris: Captain's Log, Stardate, uh, April 28th, 2009. Uhh. It has come to my attention that, uh, certain videos of the, uh, naughty nature have been disco-, have been leaked[.] Yeah, som— yeah. [unintelligible] good idea someth— uh, if uh, it's a good idea. But, uh, you know, you don't have to do it if you don't like it, but uh...I recycle my own semen, because, uh, you know, yes I do masturbate.

Anthony: ... Wait a minute. H- He recycles it.

Jim: Yes!

Anthony: So, now, there, [sigh]. There's only, umm... Does he eat it?

Opie: I'm gonna find out there, Anthony.

Anthony: Bet he recycles other peoples', too. Look at him!

Jim: There's toys in his room!

Opie: He's a little nerdy kid, with a--

Anthony: Yeah.

Opie: --with a controller his hand.

Jim: He retarded?

Anthony: He's all nerdy.

Opie: Nah, he's just a nerd. [<font color="Gray">Anthony: He's...] I'm not a nerrrd!

<font color="Gray">Anthony: He's definitely premature-ly balding. And he's got big glasses. [<font color="Black">Opie: Mm-hmm.] And... he seems to be a little effeminate. Xbox controller? Of some sort? And action figures all over the place. [<font color="Black">Opie: Yeah. Let's--] All over his room that his obviously in his parents' house.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: The man's a complete asshole.

<font color="Black">Opie: Yeah. Let's find out more.


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: I'm not ashamed to admit it; as a lot of guys, I'm sure, have done the same thing in their time.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: No.


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: Anyway, uh, basically I, yeah, into the cup and, yeah, I recycle it. So that that way I won't lose any, uh, unborn children. So then I can, then I can also still have a good number of... a good semen count.

<font color="Gray">Anthony: "A good semen count?"


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: Keep it maintained uh, by recycling it.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: Horrible breath.


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: And depending on the taste of it, uh, to the original owners... of the, their respective semen, uh, it's a good idea to recycle. But if uh, you don—- if you don-- if you feel uncomfortable, uh, doing it or it tastes bad to you, then uh, then you don't have to do it.

<font color="Black">Opie: I, I, I, I, I literally, getting close, to, like--

[commotion]

<font color="Black">Opie: --my whole mouth just started like, just getting all fucked up. But, this guy is putting his semen in, like, plastic cups, and then--

<font color="Gray">Anthony: And then he drinks it!

<font color="Black">Opie: Good god.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: Sometimes, though, cause the cum is so thick, sometimes what you gotta do is take a plastic spoon and scoop the cum down inside the cup so you get it all. [Anthony laughing] It's got a metallic taste.

<font color="Black">Opie: Keep going, cause I think you'll get me to puke. I'm so-- I don't even know, I'm so close to puking!

<font color="Maroon">Jim: He probably shoots-- He's a dumb guy, he probably shoots those loads that are like, almost like runny egg whites. You ever fuckin' see a runny egg white load you shoot? [<font color="Black">Opie: Oh god.] And he probably fuckin' just, [<font color="Black">Opie: Oh god.] tips the cup back, and takes a plastic spoon, and scoops the cum into his mouth, and then he has to rip the cup open and just lick the inside of it to get all of it. What's wrong with that? Nice thick load?

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Oh, nothing! [laughing]

<font color="Maroon">Jim: When you're cumming and put your dick in a cup and shoot into it?

<font color="Gray">Anthony: I know, how much fun could that be?

<font color="Maroon">Jim: And then drink it. It's still your body temperature.

<font color="Black">Opie: Back to this, uh, nerdy dude. Nerdy dude? Nerdy guy, nerdy boy.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: Looks familiar... [laughs]


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: Anyway, anyway, from after that the uh, second topic, the uh, one where I spanked myself. Yeah, I just uh, I was doing that for fun, cause you know, sometimes I do my random, silly, crazy things--

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Like drink your cum.


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: --and uh... sometimes adults feel pleasure from pain, even when they uh, do it to themselves. But I mean, I'm, I mean, I mean, not to a point where they kill themselves, but I mean uh, just like, you know, spanking is a generally a pop- generally a popular type of thing amongst adults. But anyway, it's a, it's a fetish for some people, and I just randomly felt like doing that.

<font color="Black">Opie: So he does uh, shots of his own sperm, and he likes spankings?

<font color="Gray">Anthony: He drinks his own jizz, and he spanks himself...

<font color="Black">Opie: How old do you think this guy is? For real? Maybe 20? Maybe 20 years old?

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Yeah, yeah, he's in his early twenties. He's in his early twenties. He's obviously got a little trouble with his sexuality. Umm, from the looks of it, it does look like he lives at home, or in some, no, that's at, at home.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: A toy store.

<font color="Gray">Anthony: This, this- [laughs]. There's too much shit in there, from like--

<font color="Green">Danny: Big Kev's house?

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Yeah! [laughs]. There's just too much shit in that, in that room there. Uh, so yeah, he's probably a little confused about himself.


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: And then the uh, third topic which was the uh, the uh, the photographs of, uh... me in adult diapers.

<font color="Gray">Anthony: All-righty. [everyone laughing] Okay, that's a whole other top--

<font color="Black">Opie: Do you got the pictures of him in his adult diapers?

<font color="Gray">Anthony: I didn't see where that was coming. I didn't see that coming.

<font color="Green">Danny: I don't know where the original pictures of that is. Apparently I think where this is coming from is like he's posting on some message board going back and forth, and these guys are giving him shit for whatever reason, and like this was his big, like, response video.

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Ahhh. His mea culpa.


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: Uhh yes, I did uh, get a free sampling of diapers from a troll, but regularly, regularly I uh, do not use them but I just felt like trying a pair on. And it was okay; not, not a big deal, it's just uh, but, y'know, I wouldn't, I would not wear them on a daily basis--

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Naww, that's crazy!


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: --I wear briefs. I wear regular briefs. And sometimes I do uh, I get very stressed out from uh, people who yell at me or uh, misunderstand me, or talk bad about me. And, and between that and other real life stresses uh, it just, it just builds up and sometimes uh, it just, I just have to, it just comes out, and I sometimes accidentally, uh, poo my pants. But I mean, who hasn't in their lifetime--

<font color="Gray">Anthony: What?


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: I mean, pooed their childhood diapers [<font color="Gray">Anthony: Oh.] much less pooed their underwear at least once in their lifetime. I mean, we're only human; nothing to be ashamed of. And to those who find it amusing, uh, I respectfully disagree with their opinions. [<font color="Gray">Anthony: Respectfully.] And, uh, with that, I just want to continue to make it perfectly clear that I am a healthy, growing, sane, and sound minded, uh, adult individual.

<font color="Gray">Anthony: No, you're not!


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: And I should continue to be treated and respected as an equal among the human population just as anybody else. Private matters are private matters.

<font color="Black">Opie: They're not private, you idiot! You talk about everything!

<font color="Gray">Anthony: This guy is INSANE.

<font color="Black">Opie: Yeah!

<font color="Maroon">Jim: He has a good idea though!

<font color="Black">Opie: What?

<font color="Maroon">Jim: He, just recycling cum!

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Oh, the recycling cum part.

<font color="Black">Opie: Let me, uh, I think we gotta find out more about this guy. Doug in Boston, hey Doug.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: Smell that fuckin' bleach smell.

<font color="DarkGreen">Doug: Hey guys, uh, if you go to Google and you Google "Chris-chan," um, yeah, his name's Chris-chan, he, he's fucked up.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: Do you think that's his real name or is "Chris-chan" short for "Christian"?

<font color="DarkGreen">Doug: No, his name's Christian.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: Oh, it is, okay.

<font color="DarkGreen">Doug: But, uh, he goes on websites and his name is "Chris-chan."

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Ahh, gotcha.

<font color="Black">Opie: As in C-H-A-N, right?

<font color="DarkGreen">Doug: Yeah.

<font color="Green">Danny: Okay, we got it.

<font color="Black">Opie: So what, he's trying to be like an internet sensation with his, video blogging?

<font color="DarkGreen">Doug: Uh, he has like Asperger's syndrome, and he's really crazy.

<font color="Gray">Anthony: He's got ASS BURGERS?

<font color="DarkGreen">Doug: Yeah.

<font color="Black">Opie: What is Asperger's?

<font color="Maroon">Jim: They don't know how to interact with people.

<font color="Black">Opie: Isn't that what Pee-Wee had, in that episode of 30 Rock?

<font color="Black">Paul Reubens (Audio from 30 Rock): Thank you, thank you oh dear friends. FOR COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY!

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Greatest line ever delivered... fucking brilliantly.

<font color="Black">Opie: We got one more clip from like--

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Asperger's! What a dumb name for a disease!

<font color="Black">Opie: It's bad enough you got a disease.

<font color="Gray">Anthony: Yeah, you don't want it to be called [together] Asperger's!

<font color="Black">Opie: That sucks!


 * <font color="Blue">Chris: But, uh, also, I, in reality I actually did those uh, videos and pictures as a favor to uh, an individ- as a favor to a, to an anon, to an anonymous female individual who just wanted to get her kicks off of it. But you know, a lot of women, they uh, tend to get their kicks off of kinky things as such; an adult fetish, nothing to be ashamed of. I mean everybody's got at least one, I'm sure. I have some; I'm not exactly sure how exactly to describe them, but yes, I have some, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Thank you very much for your time and uh, have a pleasant day. Peace.

<font color="Gray">Anthony: There he goes. Mr. Internet Sensation.

<font color="Maroon">Jim: I love that guy.

<font color="Gray">Anthony: There's um, there's some internet sensations out there, uh, some of them last, some of them don't-

[video cuts out]