CWC "Boyfriend"



CWC "Boyfriend" is a music video "addressed to the WOMEN ONLY" and uploaded by Chris on 25 July 2009. While he was forced to make the video by Jack Thaddeus, he used the opportunity to push his own homophobic agenda. This video features a little bit of everything when it comes to Chris's bizarre behavior, including dancing like a retard, playing the Gitar of Fail and other such devices, and a side order of gay bashing. He even goes as far to condemn the lifestyle of lesbians (let that sink in a little). Paper cut-outs are used to display Chris's delusions, as well as several recycled drawings.

The video description and annotations reveal that Chris believed that Ivy killed herself as a result of the cessation in their communications. He blames Bob for breaking up their relationship — apparently, despite the best efforts of his father and others to reason with him, Chris chose to cling to the delusion that Ivy was not a troll. At that point in the video description Chris also states that "Ivy killed herself on July 2008", months before Chris ever met her, although this is more than likely just a mistake. At around 2:05, astute video game fans may notice that Chris-Chan purchased the universally panned, all-around shitty Rock Band ripoff Rock Revolution (though considering his spending habits, this shouldn't be a shock).

On 29 July 2009, The CWCville Library uploaded an alternate version of the video, with Chris just dancing and different lyrics.

In March 2010 Chris would also use an extract from this video as part of a desperate plea to the Wallflower to relieve him of his terrible burden.

Transcript
[Video opens with Chris in his blue T-shirt, singing.]

Hey! Hey! You! You! I don’t like your boyfriend! No way! No way! I think you need a new one Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your boyfriend Chris mimes on the Gitar of Fail- his shirt changing due to the jump cut. Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that you like me [Megan's photo appears, for no clear reason] No way! No way! No, it’s not a secret Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend Drawing of Ivy and Luckette. You’re so fine [Photograph of Anna and another woman] I want you mine You’re so delicious [Images from "Sonichu Special 1", "Wedding Comic"] I think about ya all the time You’re so addictive Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright? Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious And Hells Yeah I’m the motherfucking prince, man I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right Photo of unknown woman with unknown man. He’s like so whatever And you could do so much better [Man's photo is replaced with one of Chris] I think we should get together now And that’s what everyone’s talking about! Polaroid of a couple. Hey! Hey! You! You! I don’t like a girlfriend! No way! No way!That' ain't right, woman! [''Polaroid shifts to reveal caption "GIRL-ON-GIRL?!!", which changes to "GOD HATES THAT"] No way! No way! I could be your boyfriend Chris on the Gitar again. Hey! Hey! You! You! [''Photo of lesbian couple is now split in two - caption "STAY STRAIGHT"] I know that you like me Hey, you! Hey, you! You need to be straight, girl! Hey! Hey! You! You! [Chris interposed between lesbians - caption becomes "TAKE THIS DUDE, ALREADY GIRL"] I want to be your boyfriend Chris dances faggily. I can see the way. I see the way you look at me [Image from "Sonichu Special 1"] And even when you look away I know you think of me [Photo of Bob with illegible speech bubble, which becomes "THE DETECTIVE FOUND NO POLICE RECORDS OF HER COP-FATHER", and then "MY SCOOBY-DOO DETECTIVE WORK HAS PINPOINTED AND BLOWN YOUR MIND"] I know you talk about me all the time again and again [Image of Chris with sore head] So come—so come over here, tell me what I want to hear ["DAMN WHY DID I LISTEN TO MY MEATHEADED FATHER AND THAT DETECTIVE"] Better yet make your old one disappear ["IVY NEVER LEFT MY HEART DURING THOSE TRAUMA TWO MONTHS"] I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again ["AT LEAST I GOT TO TELL HER "I LOVE YOU" ONE LAST TIME"; "IT'S MY FAULT"] Photo of three women, captioned "IN LOVING MEMORY OF IVY O'NIEL". Because, he’s like so whatever [Chris dances idiotically with his eyes closed] And you could do so much better [Photo of unknown woman with a man in a pickle suit] I think we should get together now And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You! [Chris plays Guitar Hero drums in a different shirt, looking like a complete child] I don’t like your boyfriend! Hey! Hey! No way! I think you need a new one Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your boyfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that you like me No way! No way! You know it’s not a secret [Previous couple photo is used, except Chris again replaces the man] Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend More idiotic dancing. In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger Cause I can, cause I can do it better There’s no other So when's it gonna sink in? He's so trollin' stupid What the hell were you thinking?! Mary Lee Walsh is now paired with the Man in the Pickle Suit. That old sumbah tried to take you out my life But you know I can do it way better He's an impostor. He's a poser! [''Mary is now paired with a skinny, hella sexy guy. A hedgehog moves across the image, saying "HOWARD".''] What the hells were you thinkin' with that damn Pickle Suit?! More pretend guitar. Hey! Hey! You! You! I don’t like your boyfriend! No way! No way! I think you need a new one [Julie with a MIPS] Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your boyfriend More guitar. Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that you'd like me [Julie with Chris] No way! No way! No, it’s not a secret Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend

Hey! You! You! I don’t like your boyfriend! No way! No way! [More gitar] I think you need a new one Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your boyfriend Chris points at the camera and dances like a slow-in-the-mind. Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that you'd like me No way! No, it’s not a secret Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend

Hey you!

A preview
A preview for CWC "Boyfriend" was uploaded by Chris on 20 July 2009. Chris then deleted the video in a matter of hours, leading to serious doubts about the probability of the promised video appearing. Yet, true to his word, the video did arrive five days later, much to everybody's surprise.

Transcript
(Avril Lavigne's song Girlfriend plays in the background)

Chris: (Singing to roughly the tune of the music)

Hey Hey You You I don't like your boyfriend!

No Way No Way I think you need a new one!

Hey Hey You You I could be your boyfriend

Hey hey you you I know that you like me

No way no way I know it's not a secret

Hey hey you you I want to be your boyfriend

Transcript
Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your boyfriend! No way! No way! 'think ya need a new one! Hey! Hey! You! You I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that you like me, No way! No way! Know it's not a secret, Hey Hey, You You, I want to be your boyfriend!

You're so fine, I want you mine you're so delicious, I think about you all the time you're so addictive. Don't you know what I could to do to make you feel..ALRIGHT.

Don't pretend you think I know I'm damn precious, And hells yeah I'm the motherfucking prince man, I can tell ya like me too, and I know am right. He's like so whatever, and you could do so much better (hops around) I think we should get together noooowww, And that's what everyone's talkin about!

Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend No way! No way! That ain't right woman! No way! No way! I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that ya like me, (mumbles something) You, you, you need to be straight girl, Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend!

I can see the way, see the way ya look at me. And Even when you look away I know ya think of me, I know you talk about me all the time again and agaaiin.

So come over here, tell my what I wanna hear, Better yet, make your old one disappear, I don't want to hear ya say his name agaain.

BECAUSE He's like so whatever and you could do, so much better. I think we should get together nooow, 'N that's what everyone's talking about.

Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your boyfriend. No way! No way! I think ya need a new one. and Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend.

Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that ya like me, And No way! No way, know it's not a secret Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger. 'Cause I can, Cause I can do it better, There's no *mumbles* other so when's it going to sink in He's so troll and stupid what the hell were you thinkin?!

That ol' sumbah tried to take ya outta my life. But you know I can do it way better, He's an impostor, he's a poser, *wipes sweat from brow* What the hells were ya thinkin with that Pickle Suit?

Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your boyfriend! No way! No way! Think ya need a new one Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your boyfriend.

Way, No way

Hey! Hey! You! you! I know that ya like me No way! No way! Know it's not a secret. Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend

No way, No waaaayy.

Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your boyfriend No way, no way.. Think you need a new one Hey! Hey! You! you! I could be your boyfriend No way no way

Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that you like me No WAYYY and No WAYYY I know it's not a secret, and Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend No way, No wayyy

HEY YOU