June 2015 Facebook Posts

This page covers Chris's activity on his personal Facebook page in June 2015. He was also forced by events during this month to return to his protest group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

Summary

 * 3 June - Chris announces a new batch of Amiibo for sale on EBay.
 * 4 June - Chris trolls for pity after receiving a work-related injury.
 * 6 June - The role of Punchy Sonichu in Super Smash Bros. is revealed.
 * 7 June - Chris puts his transgender self on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine.
 * 9 June - Chris makes plans to go bowling.
 * 9 June - Chris flips out over the announcement of a new Sonic Boom game.
 * 10 June - Chris makes a series of protest posts across Facebook regarding Sonic's arm color.
 * 10 June - Chris discusses Magi-Chan in Super Smash Bros.
 * 10 June - Chris explains the high cost of churning out Sonichu Amiibo.
 * 11 June - Chris reposted edicts concerning the blarms protest.
 * 12 June - Chris makes several more angry posts about the color of Sonic the Hedgehog's arms.
 * 12 June - Chris reports on his experiences at his first burlesque show.
 * 13 June - Chris complains about the renaming of a My Little Pony character.
 * 14 June - Chris declares himself to be "pristine."
 * 15 June - Chris amuses himself with stories of homosexuality in the animal kingdom.
 * 16 June - Chris tries to sort out what being transgender means to him.
 * 17 June - Chris reminds his followers that he has a coin for sale on EBay.
 * 20 June - Chris makes several posts about a range of topics, including body hair, gender, and his heart level.
 * 22 June - Chris announces a new EBay account, making an effort to get around the site's regulations.
 * 24 June - Chris reviews the bar at the Impulse Gay Social Club.
 * 24 June - After reading a book, Chris makes metaphorical connections between a house and his genitalia.
 * 25 June - Chris repeats that he deserves to have a vagina.
 * 25 June - Chris makes a number of brief comments about Hillary Clinton, gaming, and emotions.
 * 26 June - Chris repeats that he feels like a woman, in the process demonstrating that he knows nothing about women.
 * 27 June - Chris creates a new rainbow-themed profile pic and makes a series of brief trivial comments.
 * 28 June - Chris lets everyone know how long his penis is.
 * 28 June - Chris expresses confusion about how to behave in sexual situations.

More Amiibo
Chris linked to his Ebay page and wrote:

Since this batch of Amiibo was not selling as quickly as the previous two he reiterated the next day:

Chris Suffers for His Art
Chris harangues his valued customers about how the extremely minor skin injury on one of his fingers is causing him unbearable agony:

Kenneth offered:

Chris responded:

William asked:

Chris answered:

Punchy in Super Smash Bros.
In the illustration, Punchy is saying:

I Like to Be Pristine
Chris shared a link to a template which allows transgender people to insert their own photos on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine in the style of Caitlyn Jenner.

Let's Go Bowling
The "Cville Pride" page asked people to RSVP regarding an upcoming "LGBTQ Youth & Family Bowling Night," and state how many people would be attending. Chris responded:

Sensory Overload 2: Electric Boogaloo
Chris provided a link to a YouTube video announcement of a new title in the Sonic Boom franchise. His remarks:

Bring Me the Head of O(l)mar Woodley!
Chris linked to an article on the "SEGA Nerds" page, "SEGA producer discusses future of Sonic Boom franchise," and added a decree:

Three hours later he edited it to read:

Chris Spams Facebook
Chris spent a portion of 10 June copypasting his plea of the previous day that stores not sell Sonic Boom, along with links to his blarms protest group and his personal page. He left it as a reply to the reveal of the Sonic Boom: Fire & Ice box art on "My Nintendo News;" and to an article on "Tails' Channel." The public group "My Nintendo News" posted an article entitled, "Sega Says They're Taking Fan and Press Feedback And Building From It For Sonic Boom: Fire & Ice." Chris left the same reply here, along with:

Magi-Chan in Super Smash Bros.
MagiChan says:

Waterman asked:

Chris replied:

Waterman asked for clarification:

Chris:

Amiibo Expenses
Here he explained what he meant by the "other problems" he mentioned to Waterman in the above post.

No, Not That Catherine
"Legit Lady Gamers" asked the community what they thought of the game "Catherine." Chris offered:

Disapproval
Chris did not think that a joke made on the "SEGA Nerds" page was funny.

Two Reminders
Chris shared an old post from his protest group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

He also reposted his long defense of the behavior which had gotten him arrested.

Wordplay
For some reason, a radio station requested that people post "your full name without an E,F,R,S,K,I,M,L,C,A,Y,N." Chris amused himself by posting:

No and Shut Up
Another update on the new Sonic Boom game was posted on "SEGA Nerds," and Chris replied:

A ween responded:

Chris shot back:

Pony Facial Expressions
On the page "Derpy Hooves and Friends - Friendship is Muffins," someone posted a collage of facial expressions made by the ponies on the show. Chris asked:

Vaginal Outlines
Kenneth wrote:

Chris replied:

Rowan Dunston wrote:

Chris replied:

Three hours later Chris made a follow-up post:

He then gave The Boom Boom Room an official 5-star review.

Don't Get Too Dark
Chris wasted no time in offering advice to one of his new burlesque performer gal-pals, "Jane Ostentatious." On her page she posted:

Chris replied:

Eye Test
Chris found a visual puzzle which asked, "What Number Do you see??" Chris answered:

Reverb in Trib
Someone posted photos of androgynous actress Ruby Rose with the caption, "when u think ur straight but then ruby rose comes and confuses you." Chris agreed:

Leapin' Lesbian Lizards!
Chris read on "Lizzy the Lezzy" (one of his new favorite pages) about a lizard species that consists of only females. He joked:

Incidentally, Bonobos are neither monkeys nor lesbians (the species is almost uniformly bisexual.)

Gold Coin for Sale
On 17 June, Chris provided a link to his Ebay account, where he was trying to sell a "1990 American Silver Eagle 999 Silver 1oz Dollar Coin" for $30.

Chris on Armpit Hair
Chris replied to an article posted on "Lizzy the Lezzy" claiming the existence of a trend among women not to shave their armpits:

Flying Elephants
"Lizzy the Lezzy" also posted a humorous comment thread about sexualities which ended with the question, "When did this become a game of Chess?" Chris replied with some random-access humor:

Feeling Better
Someone posted a series of 12 illustrations telling the story of someone who opens her heart, gets it crushed, and becomes emotionally devastated. Chris obviously noticed it because of its blatant heart symbolism. He commented:

Here's My PIN Number
"Legit Lady Gamers" announced a contest to win five gaming-related shot glasses. Contestants were required to enter a number between 1 and 85,000. Chris entered:

New eBay Account
Note that he uses the word "fresh" three times. Because it's a synonym for "pristine," get it?

He soon made two additions to this post:

Another Impulse Review
For some reason, the Impulse Gay Social Club has two Facebook pages, one for the "social club" and one for the bar. In October 2014, after visiting the club for the first time, he gave it a four-star review. On 24 June 2015, he gave the bar five stars.

A House is not a Vagina
Chris linked to a video called "Geraldine" and, naturally, attempted to make it about himself:

The book Chris read is The Handmade House by Geraldine Bedell.

Let's Trade Genitalia!
On "Lizzy the Lezzy," a transgender man named Victor complained about how difficult it is to find a "soulmate" with "the wrong body." Chris agreed, and attempting to entice someone into donating a vagina:

Someone insightful asked:

Chris replied:

Votes for Women
Hillary Clinton posted a campaign video in defense of gay marriage. Chris replied:

Kick the HEXBox!
"Legit Lady Gamers" posted an image of a pink Xbox One "for women." Chris predictably replied:

Birthday Scenario Game
"Legit Lady Gamers" posted a game asking people to "match up the scenario for your birth month & character for your day." For his month, Chris got "Handcuffed (for life) to" and for the 24th, Frank West. He commented:

After apparently finding out, he added:

I Feel [Insert Emotion Here]
A writer named Mark Morford posted a list of "23 Emotions People Feel, But Can't Explain," using neologisms. Chris shared the list and wrote:

All emotions listed were nouns.

Shocking Lack of Self-Awareness
On 26 June 2015, the Supreme Court of the United States upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris's two cents:

Eyes Make the Man
Chris shared a clickbait photo claiming that "People with green or blue eyes are hyper and love to laugh. They tend to be quiet at first, but once you get to know them they never shut up. They're loyal and like long, committed relationships. They make amazing friends." Chris responded:

New Profile Pic
Along with millions of other Facebook users, Chris used an app to create a new profile picture.

Probably Because She's the One Who Looks Most Like Britney Spears
"Legit Lady Gamers" posted a drawing of three superheroines and asked readers to choose their favorite. Chris wrote:

Except on Sonic's Arms
Chris took yet another dumb Facebook quiz to figure out "What Color Is Your Aura?" Chris got blue.

Another Failed Chance for Self-Promotion
To celebrate the momentous day, "Lizzy the Lezzy" requested rainbow-ized selfies and arranged them in a collage. She apologized, "Sorry if yours didn't make it - there were just so many i couldn't grab them all!" Chris whined:

Random-Access Swedish
Chris's high school classmate Richie Grecki posted an image of the Swedish Chef to illustrate a point:

Chris incomprehensibly replied:

Beyond Self-Parody
"LGBT News" posted a joke. Ever the epitome of cluelessness, Chris responded:

What was that you were saying about self-control?
Viralwomen.com posted a comic asking the question, "What if We Treated Other Consent Situations Like Society Treats Sexual Consent?" The point is that people respond to sexual situations with a pushiness that would not be accepted in other aspects of life. Of course, Chris didn't get it at all: