April 2012 Facebook posts

The following is an account of Chris's Facebook activity in April 2012.

Summary

 * 1 April - Chris accuses everyone on the internet of not caring about him.
 * 4 April - Chris has had sex.
 * 8 April - Chris provides some details about his one sexual encounter.
 * 9 April - Chris went on vacation.
 * 13 April - Chris claims to be losing weight.
 * 13 April - Chris reveals his non-virginity to the public.
 * 14 April - Chris reviews a movie.
 * 16 April - Chris had to go to court.
 * 16 April - Chris taunts the trolls.
 * 17 April - Chris reviews his new hairspray.
 * 19 April - Chris needs help meeting women.
 * 22-24 April - Chris is desperate to find a sweetheart.
 * 25 April - Chris demands that his friends help him.
 * 25 April - Chris likes Derpy.
 * 26-28 April - Chris plays a dumb game with his trolls.
 * 29 April - Chris tries to lift his self-esteem.
 * 30 April - Chris mistakenly believes a troll has been destroyed.
 * 30 April - Chris clears up a misconception of the trolls.

No Longer a Virgin...
Anna responded:

Chris:

Really Enjoyed my Dick
Anna:

Losing weight


Anna replied:

Three Stooges
Dana replied:

Chris added:

Really Tired
Kim wrote:

Chris:

Freeze up
Kim answered:

Chris:

He added:

...But Still Stuck with Rage
The following is a series of tweets Chris wrote on 23 April 2012 and shared on Facebook:

Kim replied with the following comment:

Chris replied:

Comfort me!
Dana replied:

Typically, Chris snaps at this attempt to comfort him:

Dana:

Chris:

Uncharacteristic optimism
Kim wrote:

One down
Anna had her doubts:

Chris replied:

Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.
Chris later commented:

I have decided
Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

Chris later commented:

Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D
On 28 April 2012, Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he let the trolls get to him in the mall, resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.