Brushfire Video

The Brushfire Video (officially Male Idiot tries to put out fire, and Sits There Someone, please call 911 for Flintstone Drive! Y) is a video uploaded by Chris to YouTube on 6 November 2014. The video was posted in conjunction with a rant on Facebook that Chris made while observing a man using an excavator to manage a small bonfire of brush and debris in the lot adjacent to the rental house. The video features an actual conversation between Chris and Barb, the likes of which had not been seen since You're Always Pretty. The crunching and plinking sounds imply that it was shot rather nonchalantly during breakfast or lunch.

Chris is deeply disgruntled by the whole affair. Even after a 911 operator dismissed the obvious distress of the Chandler household, and the video clearly shows that fire poses no threat to the Chandler household, the fact that Chris would fly into a rage because of someone else ignoring fire hazards is ironic, to say the least.

The video has better quality than usual, having apparently been made with the YouTube Capture app on his iPhone. It is, however, quite possibly one of the shakiest videos he has made this side of Sonichu's Edge.

Note that the long title of the video reveals the address of his temporary home, Chris having learned nothing about revealing personal information despite all his troubles. He thought that his detractors would be unable to find the video by putting it in "Unlisted" mode on YouTube. It didn't work.

Video
"Somebody, please call 911 and tell 'em to get over here!"

Transcript
[''The first bit of the video is silent. "The Hills Are Alive" plays in the background. The camera takes a view out the window of an excavator. The operator of the excavator is using the machine to put some branches onto the bonfire. Nine seconds in, there is a jump cut to a new shot of the window. At the 1:17 mark, Barb presumably tells Chris that the excavator is none of his business.'']

Well, it IS my business, I'm livin' right...next door to dis here. [''Plenty of crunching and rustling sounds can be heard in the background. At 1:36, Barb asks "Are you watching from upstairs?"'']

YEAH, and I'm RECORDING it on my iPod! Video! Mmhem. Yeah, you see what he's...you see, he moved his...shovel mech, and he's...lookin' like he's trying to, he's either stokin' it, or he's trying to put it out! [Barb says "He doesn't have much to put it out with."] Well, he could try covering it with the dirt, nanowats, that's what's looks like he is doing right now!

[''More silence, then two grunts from Chris and plenty of rattling, followed by more silence. Barb says "He's tryin' to put dirt over it to start cleanin' it up."'']

YOU LOOKED FROM DOWNSTAIRS OR OUTSIDE? [Barb replies with "The dirt and smoke will get you down there."] YEAH. [Jingling in the background, probably Snoopy's dog tag.] Ey, Snoopy. [More silence.] This can go on YouTube. "Shoveling Male Idiot Tries to Put Out Fire...Surrounding a Forest...and...Neighborhood!" An' there's a lake nearby. Y'know WHAT? He could scoop some water and put it OVER the damn fire! [More silence.] Amamatried callin' 911, but guess what? The darn idiots won't...listen. They think, "He's not breakin' any LAAAAHZ!" Consarnit, they don't have a lick a' common sense!

Oh, LOOK at this now! [pause] He drivin' away from the damn fire....oh, wait, he turnin' around! [''The music suddenly changes, as Barb's phone starts ringing. The ringtone is "Street Life" by The Crusaders.''] Oh, now what? Eymuna--

[''Jump cut to a new shot of the window. More silence, with the song "It Might as Well Be Spring" in the background and either Clover or Snoopy howling. The man has finished putting fuel on the fire, and is now moving the excavator away. Chris uses his retarded voice.''] Yep, I'm driving away! I stoked the fire, and now I'm driving away! I'm an idiot or somethin', look at me! I'm driving away from the fire after I darn stoked it! And the wind it heavy over here, I can feel it! And now I just turn myself around. And now I'm gonna sit here and watch the damn fire some more! [normal voice] Somebody, please call 911 and tell 'em to get over here!