Twitch



Twitch is a game-centric livestreaming website, which Chris joined in 2018. His first stream was on 16 March, in which he played Burnout Paradise Remastered. Despite it being a relatively easy source of revenue for Chris in theory, given that he could get payments from fans to play video games all day as he already did, he only used it sparingly.

Description
As expected of Chris, he put no effort into setting up his page, as his description is a copy and paste of his Tumblr description:

Sonichu's Live PS4 Broadcast (Burnout Paradise Remastered)
On 16 March 2018, Chris streamed himself playing the PS4 version of Burnout Paradise Remastered. This stream is notable in that he uses a headset while playing the game; sadly, it has either a really cheap/bad microphone, or Chris is speaking way too close into it (or most likely both), because the stream had continuous moments of ear rape courtesy of him.

A full copy of the stream is currently lost, but several viewers made clips of it that are still available on Twitch, and there is a YouTube compilation of many of the said clips.

Transcript (Chris Chan Stream "Highlights")
[Video opens with a caption on a black background] WATCH YOUR EARS

Ooh...mash it mash it mash it MASH IT!!!! [drives through a billboard, earning a bonus] HA-HA! [after smashing his car through the billboard, the car lands, and almost immediately afterwards smashes into a pole through the entrance of a road underneath another one] HNNNNG, NRRRRRRRRR. [waggles his tongue]

[smashes through another billboard] There's ANOTHER ONE! [singing] An' anurr one gone, anurr one gone, another one bites the dust!

Bumpity-bum-buuuum-bum.

Oh dear! There goes my hero! Nah [unintelligible; the constant clipping from Chris's mic doesn't help matters] had to drop me somewhere! SAWWWY!!! Better luck next time!

[regarding a mini-biker riding a bike in the car selection menu] That helmet too big for your head!

[smashing through a fence] Smashy smashy!

Smashy-crashy! SMASHY SMASHY MASHY!!!

Nope. You didn't get me that time, HEH-HA, ha-ha!

Still got(?) JUST IN TIIIIME! Just in time, he-heh. Step in time, step in time, step in time, never need a reason, never need a RHYYYYYMEE!!!!

Let's see what's around this way! Ooh, too big tunnel, too big tunnel.

[unintelligible again] ...for the commercial break. Have fun. [unintelligble statement] Budabudabudabudabudabudabudabudabudabuda. [almost passes by a fence and imitates the Three Stooges "Whoop-whoop-whoop" as he puts his car into reverse] Nyuk nyuk nyuk! [says something unintelligible about Moe]

[cut to another caption on black background, followed by a plug for the OP's personal channel] IT WAS PRETTY MUCH THAT FOR AN HOUR

CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys
"NO CALLS!!!"

- Chris screeches at weens on Twitch

On 17 April 2018, Chris streamed for the second time not to stream a video game, but to push the sales of his Transformers toys. It would later be alleged by the Guard Dogs that he did so while under extortion by the Idea Guys. Visibly agitated, Chris vowed to stream until everything he has on stock is sold, refusing to communicate with viewers, making random-access humor (i.e. making random noises at random), and even bringing in Barb to state how dire their situation is (before commenting that she used to be more flirting when talking to him). Despite this, the stream ended early due to the howling of his dogs.

Chris sold the Amnyfest Ring during the stream and thanked its buyer for the purchase. The sale would prove to be key in the ousting of the Idea Guys.

[52 minutes of Chris playing with various toys, demanding the audience buy said toys on eBay ("You're gonna go on eBay!! You're gonna pay me $100!! And NO HATING!!"). Simultaneously, he's telling the audience he's ignoring all their comments. All the while Chris is screeching and babbling in various shrill, cartoon voices. Barb makes a brief (coerced) cameo at 32:00, where Chris interrogates her about fruit]

<!-- This is a raw dump of YouTube's captioning, in case it assists with transcribing. Please isolate only the most interesting pieces for inclusion in the article. It is not necessary to transcribe the whole thing.

(holy shit. i can't even transcript normally without playing back a few times due to his screeching in the beginning)

[screeches] Okay! I'm not anything objects... Can somebody tell this PlayStation to stop this?! Somebody tell this PlayStation to stop this? We have debts, we have mortgages, we have plenty to sell come on everybody buy this thing 100 dollars, complete set the plate was sitting at authenticity. Oh yeah for boys, you could have Basketball Snoopy! The first one who bought- the one who- first one the one who buys this combiner gets Snoopy-Doo, get this Snoopy-Dog! come on, come on! While you're catching-catching-catching-catching! [stops screeching] Oh thank goodness, that stopped. Phew. [adjusts hat] oh thank goodness that stopp- Oh what the hell... WHY!? WHY!? [starts screeching again] Why are you doing this to me?! I haven't done anything to you, stop it! [stress sigh] I'm just going to IGNORE THEM. I'M JUST GOING TO IGNORE THESE THINGS! I-I'm going to put the TV on mute, that's what they do, TV on mute! I don't have to listen to these darn things, keep it on, put it on, [supposedly imitating angry cat]! [flips hair] So-uh [sigh] Hey anyway it's definitely hard to find this complete set somebody call me your declined guess what your decline our calls will be declined despite the aluminum bulky box our theme going off to phone calls anyway by now anyway I'm merit aiming everybody I you're paying for this air taming you're gonna go to my events door the lights are in my Twitter well you found the link to this thing extremely hope somebody's recording this they're going to my eBay right now you're gonna buy this thing you're gonna pay $100 for this thing and put this space figure and you're gonna get autographs or ticket lots of Disney you paid for this very rare item and it's just to give its authenticity so find out come on by now by now by now I'm gonna separate this thing myself I'll purpose where's the register yourself on purpose hmm nice anyway your find that you're going on to eBay and you're buying that and I'm not listening to phone calls I told you no phone calls [Music] no yeah let's carry on so what else do we have for $100 Ms. Christine Weston Chandler what else we have we have inbox autograph on the box there certainly will be a clear compare everybody's up eyebrow then look what you see what you get everything you get all the pieces mess up something so yes there has been taken out of the box before long time down the gap see far far away I like the police I had a respect for them at one time guess what I still like me I like I've no cops my soul tell what you told me get miss Christine Chan away yes I'll cuddle together you get transform this thing yet structures head there all the decals have been attached [Music] [Music] [Music] serious Wow generation 1 ratio from as bro by now by now hundred hours complain with Fox complain but you get 3 missiles and you get these little missile launchers or do they watch them hmm no there's no button so they're just pretty much sitting there looking pretty wait get two of these you get those to these if these knuckles and ground here somehow oh yeah I think gum this is right this is right they tap on here years now come on show me any time eight to ten five years yeah we get short cannon shorter kids no goes what now goes cold yeah no God shut you up I don't know why by arresting you you're too big for me but why are you doing arrested me I'm too big for you you two broke okay I do georgia vonnegut again what's up innoGames a forgets the renegade okay people you are going to go on to my eBay your bar pay $100 for this guy no hating men guess what your kama topping read your comments I'm not being read what's with early roles complete certificate authenticity with this so you paid $100 for this complete set let's certificate authenticity for me I had you pay hard dollars for this lets particular voltage is me from a party a party night my knees I am now duty to our doors to our dollars but I'm 100 for this one matter please give me money give me money money money money money right give me money we need money hey Margot maybe I'll collect all that [Applause] nobody folks they broke in you're all still good to go transform mine what on TV Bank right now you're gonna pay $100 for this go pop puzzler you popped us learn right now going to you bang my teammate Christine Christine won't even right now you gotta pay on these doors bro these six cars don't know whoopee no but come on no what no what no dollars for this little box this is everything I have I still have the box for its summit akut Duncan duel cards don't come here [Music] here no it's just sales come on just you just blink off but you spring coughing supposed nuts you're not supposed to do that not supposed to do that I want to hear to chain to chain going to my eBay by my things by my toys give me money don't cook look do this nut pay bills it's like you have the butter around here so she can afford to get her broken teeth about no no no no no chain the chain tkachenko by eBay right now bye bye bye no no no no no no no I guarantee when I try it I'm gonna action I don't rap Oh cheer one bout rap because it's perfect is also prefers Chris down no come on stick around emojis tickets just have to come talk on taking out emojis [Applause] [Music] right now cuz I have look check goodness it's about yet [Music] [Music] imagine I came as bisexual recently yes I did I have a wedgie I am a mom I have a lot on my stress so you got by now going to my eBay store you're gonna buy these things for me you're gonna give me money I'm gonna send you these things he said mr Turner Martin's his knee come from because guess what I enjoyed these things before very much so transform down man don't need instructions just guess what I know I do this job and there's no bathrobe Liang has become your money thank you drawn up Homer summit ron hubbard bhavanibabu together on ebay for snow voice now make like money by us now your take ever dude stop buddy give us money give us money money money money wanna give us somebody buy bit up by spell by by the puzzler by prowl Barbie Megatron do you know Frank oh yes I do have a friend Marv name friend come on eat bread this bread he's our pride just raise our head right now come on stand still not that we'll be up with different colorations know about the guns and then they get bigger planet Cybertron your didn't bother Colossus thing from x-men this thing broke a little boy my sister right now it's right now watch the head right now it goes back what - here stay here and no cops no cops die say calls nothing me I said no calls and you're not suitable you stay you stay you stay you so fine that's no spa stay stay stay please what to pay the phone [Music] [Music] why here could Shane not ring ring hello got the wrong number yes yes what call us thundered out information Johanna no I don't mean gold and all industry man streaming video yeah here yes yeah oh it's all right Galvatron that's for Cybertron boo you buy these toys will buy a stuff from contain teammates are you a bear you'll girl body she will send you all powers of all voice now pious no significant well to keep scars own okay what Ron so why Keith Cornish hopeful communal my own hey see what our C's up to or see I'm sorry see you brother yes see what's our brother that's right RC is a woman who's now going to eBay and boys both of us know I'm gonna do something nice for if I don't hear catching catching catching so good my eBay the body's toys right down you're going up to my eBay you're going to buy my transformers Robots it destroys and mr. puzzler let go bot these emojis just keep coming robots robots the bot [Music] Gosei quick meal oh thanks going on [Music] who needs improvement I need not sort of probit there's there's bowels and everything right listen to me not me I need not listening to me yeah why my voice blaster yes beep but you're buying these two eyes you're buying these toys and blaster comes complete with rewind they don't die nimi mind for 50 bucks yep faster go on TV by now and by us by us observe we were all to play with but each other's it was in Georgia spread but I never get charged just luck with just bringing me in 10 million and freedom you're not charged for don't worry transfer what's Warren took a nap in here no I don't if I read it from transform then I'm all cooped up above board up it's like I won't be uncomfortable right they're gonna be in my chest you got it [Music] playback oh yeah man like James one that eBay you're gonna find these for $50 right now I'm not going to price a moron EMI dies my friend Liz I'm famous regardless rather people like me or don't like me and pretend to like me I do what they like they think I'm an actor I'm not an actor I've been I'm myself a little bit crazy I'm little Daisy da Dada da Dada fight fight fight fight fight bye bye bye bye bye each is blotchy a Poochie show yeah you for my design plaster family please my time bye well I mean just move you see smoke just opens I won't put hard it look in there you see it in my heart [Music] drawers go by George Wars Oh I mean why here that I want here catching the change could change go on even you're from a painting so I'm not responding to messages bring the numbers 20 message in fact this streaming is not gonna end until all these toys are soaked all right I don't sell these toys this streaming is not gonna stuff does you want me to stop being crazy if you want me to be sane if you want me to consider going back to the way I was and you're going to eBay right now and buy all my Transformers toys I have listened down there right now and I will be hiding go on my eBay store by now right now buy these now pop them now you buy our song if I give us a hope give us a hug but certificate of authenticity to each other are alright aren't you yes some the other bad series I was and debated and now I'm gonna be done it's over we've become a dinosaur let me good luck we're not excuse me this is a closed set Zhora cuties we're okay I love you I'll tell you what folks here's a gift star here's mr. Boyer pretty poor naughty boy no cops you don't you keep hugs [Music] okay boy [Music] the first time we'll be right back in just a moment folks balling up your from your sponsor your phone upstairs Barbara Ann Weston everybody say hello to lovely folks up there you're being strained on live twitch Network say somebody say some kind supportive words there but tell me how you're doing how are you Barbara I'm doing fine hey so what's going on with you huh everybody what's know you're the big interview talk doc what's on your mind I'm resting and what are you doing with yourself I'm entertaining myself what do you like to eat I like to eat fish and chicken mmm do you have any favorite fruits you bananas you enjoy those bananas yes and what do you like to drink I like to drink chocolate your tree yeah what kind of milkshakes are these these are delicious they're meal replacement shakes so any other you might get some kind supportive words everybody like you know like I don't know y'all do well y'all did good learn well be educated and everything that sort of thing give us some wisdom I don't know any right now come on yeah a lot of wisdom in your head what are you doing to me be smart act smart that's all okay mr. hug me hug me turn me loose what I'm thirsty come on just at once trying to lose turn the reason suppose they turn me boobs just silly goose turn me loose your son goose you used to do that more flirtingly hey wait bagel people Barbara invest in Chandler folks that was hurt why I'm on this show you will not see you again from the live streaming now back to our feature presentation make any sales cuz I had my ringer off please something we made sales meet sales and angle I got what's this thing I got butts this thing he's smart that's smart so hey you know you saw my mom now go on to my eBay shop and buy that size help us help us what to be so mean mention Dinah Shore where's Dinah Shore we not know me Grimlock we don't know too much [Music] me Grimlock me tell you go buy us off page eBay store give to Marie oh come on all right pretty good luck Oh with me so our flame okay he writes going on eBay I'm gonna buy my toys pay the mortgage and macgregor bills and so many other things I have to plan to catch up with my frickin socket what up Dane all right hums fancy clean just fancied me miss look listen what are you soon mm-hmm take a drop becomes ocean let me know I'll take you to the he tea mmm by us on now on you they go flying [Music] oh I know here's G one knock time because it's precious precious don't maybe go back together Tron sandstorm [Music] because I want to hear so I can have peace of mind let me have peace of mind please future you're gonna go into my eBay you're gonna buy everything now if I saw my mother she's not coming back downstairs again connectors chopper Dave here is g1 said star because it's pretty loose sand delicious precious Sunday roast you know baby please give us good home give us our home Christine more Lisa Lisa where makes me - so I don't have to return to Galvatron that's I betrayed him shut up you gotta help me oh okay update alright help here well you gotta hide me hide me from Galvatron okay no to get coffee coffee shop and all right so you sticking with me your thing we're gonna go okay hey okay these crashes mm-hmm pretty bad yeah there's bishop bishop but a bit plain hmm the moment oh you know encryption oh yes there's I want to share a driptip third one with that oh thank you for buying this ring thank you ever mind this ring you save me some money there but we still need a lot more money we have a hefty hefty go to go to get to but every but it does help it does help very much thank you for buying this ring and you are a true friend and I will ship it to you very soon definitely but also with that died definitely transfer the powers from the ring into mama dying it's in his narrowness watch it sir and their rink the powers of the Ring have been transferred into my medallion this brain is empty up this ring is going no back to our regular scheduled liked and program [Music] [Music] do something [Music] yep New York it's g1 astral train because it's pushes me find the mid flight chugga choo choo pressures wishes freshest t1 delight that's it for our holy featured privates [Music] come on going to eBay I want to Christine chain my shop buy us all now please please [Music] I think coming to my East Bay store a few days Oh much more but we have to sell out these first so you buy all of these we bought we get everything to get all these so far so you add these to Starscream's okay so go to ebay shop I'm gonna end this streaming very shortly [Music] [Music] partybot shut so all the time we have for right now there will be more going on to the eBay shop soon but we have to sell all these first so everybody let's go dough roll out roll out roll out to the eBay Shop Oh Christine Chandler and buy us Oh drum come bad you do is organ [Music] tkachenko ching ching ching up well link in the description down below this twitch twitch stream i could not connect to youtube we have trouble connecting to this youtube server trying to stream this thing [Music] one now please help us help us my family help me my mouth any mortgage big bills everything on my toys come with certificates of authenticity with each of them please do it now thank you -->