Forgot the Glitter



Forgot the Glitter (leaked as vjtuevvjkdufkbjtdv [SaveYouTube.com]) is a video made on 14 July 2011 and leaked on 25 February 2012 in which a distressed Chris performs a jiggle-dance in the changing room of a Walmart for Jackie. Originally a performance intended to be taped in the store's aisles, Chris had to settle for humiliating himself privately in the fitting rooms due to the fact that the store was busier than he had anticipated. The "song" Chris attempts to sing is "Walmart" by Mr. Ghetto, which became infamous for its video featuring women twerking all over the rapper's local Walmart store.

Chris, dressed in his jean skirt appears trying on a brand new red tank top with a price tag still attached to it. The tank top looks way too small for him, suggesting that even if Chris were to buy new clothes they would still look as if he had had them since he was twelve years old. After a short disclaimer he starts wobbling his fat rolls back and forth while uttering nonsense for almost two minutes. In the course of the video, he lifts his skirt to reveal a tomgirl symbol inscribed on his left ass cheek, which he calls his "cutie mark". It appears to be drawn on with Crayola markers. This is a rather curious choice of body art given Chris's continual derision of gay men, as the transgender symbol is traditionally associated with the LGBT community. After nearly half a minute of mooning his audience Chris finally pulls his skirt back down to reveal that he has decorated it with the letters "J.PIE", because nothing says "I love you" to a girl quite like spelling her name with silver spangle on your skirt.

Interesting to note is Chris's discomfort in performing such a bizarre request, a reluctance that, while healthy and expected of a sane individual, has been absent in Chris's pursuit of appeasing a sweetheart until now. However, the completed video further illustrates that when china is involved, "dignity" is not a word in Chris's vocabulary.

Video
"Oh! The things I do for love."

Transcript
[''Chris bends over to the camera in his tomgirl attire while confound in a Walmart changing room. His voice is at a whisper, and is obscured by other voices in the background''] I ain't gonna do it, I'm sorry Jackie, but I'm not gonna be able to do it in the aisles today. More crowded than I thought...what the hell is going on with that light? Anyway, mmmm. Enjoy the two minutes in the dressing room here.

[Chris begins to shake his body, then begins to poorly imitate rapping to "Walmart"] Walla walla Walmart, walla walla Walmart, walla walla walla walla walla Walmart walla walla...''[Chris lifts up his mini skirt showing his unholy taint. He then begins to shake it in front of the camera.]'' Walla walla Walmart walla walla walla walla Walmart.

Deh deh deh deh deh deh walla walla Walmart.

Walla walla Walmart walla walla Walmart shake that, walla walla Walmart.

[Puts his skirt down and continues dancing.]

Walla walla walla walla walla, walla walla walla, walla walla Walmart.

Walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla.

Check your progress, check your progress, walla walla Walmart.

[Chris, now clearly exhausted, attempts to continue dancing but gives up.]

Oh! The things I do for love, and I forgot the glitter.

[sigh] Jackie, I'll progress. Check my progress.