Sonichu 9

"AAAAAbinaive09"

- Chris's title for his file of the comic

Sonichu #9 is the tenth issue of Christian Weston Chandler's Sonichu comic book. It depicts Chris's return from the Time Void he fell into in Sonichu #7, as well as the "canonical" version of the sequence depicted in timmy1984's Sonichu fan videos.

The issue sees the debut of Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, Ivy, and GodJesus. Sonichu and Rosechu's marriage and children are acknowledged for the first time since Chris introduced the retcon in August 2009.

Confusion about what Sonichu #9 is and is not arises from the fact that Chris published a preview of Episode 21, scheduled for Sonichu #10 before beginning work on Episode 18 for Sonichu #8; many have mistakenly referred to one or both of these stories as Issue 9. However, the exceptionals at CWCki have always been able to keep track of the True and Honest continuity, and know Sonichu #9 features Episodes 19 and 20. Chris himself has confirmed this on CWCipedia.

Sonichu #9 was the longest Sonichu issue on record, at 107 pages including extras, until it was beaten by Sonichu #12. Counting only the episode pages, it is identical in length to Sonichu #8, at 101 pages. The comic took just over a year to complete, and in that time many sagas came and went, reflected in throwaway plot elements such as PandaHalo and Ivy's deaths and the appearance of Liquid Chris.

It should be noted that the cover art for Sonichu #9 features one of the more blatant instances of Chris trying to hypersexualize Rosechu. While Sonichu, Bionic and the others are all running into battle, Rosechu still finds the time to lift her skirt and pull bananas from it  pull out a sword made of electricity.

Production
Work on the issue began as early as December 2008 when Chris drew the cover, although progress had stalled due to the stress of coping with the trolls demanding MOAR COMIX. In a departure from his normal publishing procedure, Chris released the content of this issue section-by-section: The first three pages of Episode 19 were released on 30 March 2009, followed by the rest of the episode on 12 April 2009; the story would not be fully colored and lettered until July 2009. Pages from Episode 20 quickly followed beginning on August 8th, suggesting Chris has finally gotten his focus back, perhaps due to competition from the impostor. Production halted after this, but new pages were made in October 2009 due to external forces pressuring him in finishing Episode 20 to solve a copyright dispute.

From the day the cover was drawn on 1 December 2008 to the day the final page was uploaded on 7 December 2009, Sonichu #9 took just over a full year to complete (longer than any previous issue), demonstrating that even if Chris could draw, he couldn't produce enough material to keep a steady job in the comics industry.

Due to continuing issues with webhosting, Sonichu #9's rolling debut has spanned no less than four different websites: sonichuandrosechu.com, cwcville.com, CWCipedia, and Chris's DeviantART account.

Cover
The cover depicts the entire Chaotic Combo as if about to go into battle. It is presumably a montage scene and is most notable for prominently featuring Rosechu in the process of pulling bananas out of her skirt.

Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)
This episode is based around our heroes attending "Dating education" classes, because although they've spent years training in dojos and fighting the world's most villainous enemies, none of them can talk to the opposite sex.

The comic opens with Punchy announcing his intention to ace the class and make Angelica his woman, while Simonla orders Zapina into the high-school version of the class to pick up sixteen-year-old boys, taught by Ms. Jackaras. One boy named "Reginald" is jealous of Punchy for being paired up with the girl he likes, Layla. Wild is paired with Simonla. Some South Park knockoffs are paired together. Ivy (after Julie was written out), shows no interest in her pairing because she and Chris had the same dream where GodJesus showed up and explain that Chris and Ivy are meant to be together, even though, at this point, the two had never met.

Ms. Jackaras orders the class to socialize with their chosen partners anonymously over instant message chat, which is apparently more beneficial than face-to-face interaction. Punchy soon forgets all about Angelica as he speaks to Layla over IM and dreams his dreams of china. However, the jealous Reginald tries to cock block Punchy by cutting the cable on the computer, thus separating Layla and Punchy over IM. Sadly, his plan fails as Punchy merely asks Wild Sonichu to cross over to the other side of the room and ask Layla out for him. Layla totally says yes.

While Wild is doing Punchy's dirty-work for him, he glances at Simonla's computer monitor and concludes that he has been IM'ing with her all along. He takes advantage of this situation by taking her back to his place and showing her his vibrating bed.

Punchy meets Layla for the first time outside class, and they make a romantic trip to McDonald's where Punchy demands that "da freedom fries" not be invaded by salt. Outside class, Reginald is contemplating suicide when he is approached by Angelica who listens to his pathetic tale of woe and, possibly due to the use of narcotic substances, invites him over for dinner. Back in class, Ms. Jackaras's death is nonchalantly announced by her sister, who then hands out the exam scores. Also note that Ivy, despite not doing the coursework as she's "holding out for Chris", gets a passing grade, along with everyone else in the class except for Clyde Cwash.

Original Version
According to Ivy, Chris originally planned to make this episode much raunchier than usual. Specifically, Punchy was supposed to bone Layla in the ladies' room at McDonald's (specifically the handicapped stall), and Reginald was supposed to walk in on it. Also, at some unspecified point, Reginald was going to slash Punchy's tires in a fit of insane stalker jealousy. The bathroom scenario was apparently based on a fantasy Chris kept bringing up in his conversations with Ivy.

Ivy believes those ideas were eventually discarded from the final version because Chris thought they might elicit a negative response from Rocky, and not because it's incredibly fucked up.

Episode 20: CWC-Defense
The full plot of Episode 20 was unknown for a long time, but it was expected to be the climactic resolution of the battle of CWCville seen in Sonichu #6, with the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens renewing their attack, the electric hedgehogs finally gathering the Sonichu Balls to free Crystal from the Dark Mirror Hole, and Chris at last escaping the Time Void. Now that the comic is finally released, the word "anticlimax" comes to mind for some reason.

The episode begins with BILLY MAYS explaining that he was never Mayor of CWCville, just in case anybody hadn't heard Chris say so in the previous four months. He endorses Allison Amber as the true interim mayor, and urges readers to respect Chris and CWCville. In a side note, Chris asks Billy to please come back someday, suggesting that he may not understand anything about death.

Invasion: CWCville!
The story opens in earnest with Silvana Rosechu, Wes-Li Sonichu, and Reldnahc Ha-Taque scouting CWCville for an impending invasion. Meanwhile, at 14 Brunchville Lane, Sonichu tells Rosechu about an online fan chat with some gay fans. After expressing appreciation for his gay fanbase, Sonichu immediately launches into a bizarre tirade about gay fans who have interpreted Sonichu as a homosexual icon. Eager to comfort him, Rosechu offers to fuck him right in the middle of the laundry room, but thankfully, they're cockblocked by an attack on CWCville by the PVCC and Mary Lee Walsh.

At CWCville Shopping Center, Acting Mayor Allison Amber is alerted to the attack and mobilizes the city's defenses. Besides the local police, she summons two groups never before seen in the series: CWCville's team of Power Rangers, and The Samurai Pizza Bots.

The story then focuses on various locales throughout the city as the main characters fight off PVCC forces. Punchy and Layla battle Jerkops in the streets. Simonla and Wild defend CWCville Forest from Jerkops driving through the trees in transforming squad cars. Reginald and Angelica destroy several Decepti-Clones at the church where the latter lives. On the waterfront, Blake and Bubbles intercept an entire fleet of S.A.V.'s. On the city's east side, Sonichu and Rosechu confront Jerkops and Punislav robots. While Sonichu uses his typical powers, Rosechu attacks with some sort of lightning sword which she has never used before. Back at the mall, Patti-chan generates a magical barrier to repel the Jerkop army, while Zapina, Darkbind Sonichu, Jamsta, and Lolisa fight Jerkops. Jamsta and Lolisa don't use any kind of special powers, possibly because they don't have any.

Over the skies of CWCville, Magi-Chan crashes a Crackder into a nearby body of water. He attempts to down an entire squadron of them this way, but he is ambushed by Silvana. The two claim to have met before, but it's brushed aside as Magi-chan tries to woo Silvana to the side of good. He claims he can restore her to her original gender, but Silvana refuses to abandon her "papa" Graduon, and they prepare to do battle.

Back at the mall, Wes-Li Sonichu reports to Mary Lee Walsh that they can't break through its defenses and that the "True Police" and "Outter Forces" have been holding the Jerkops back. She agrees to fly over the mall and back them up.

On the East Side, CWCville paramedics load defeated Jerkops into ambulances for "unbrainwashing". Sonichu is beginning to tire out from the battle when Chris's Sonichumobile appears with a hologram of Chris in the driver's seat. It then transforms into Son-Chu, who leads the other Autobots/Samurai Pizza Bots into the fray. During the skirmish, an awning collapses onto Sonichu, setting up the comic adaptation of timmy1984's Sonichu fan videos. While Sonichu is distracted, a Punislav captures Rosechu and flees the battlefield. Sonichu hears he screams and bursts out from under the awning to chase after her.

Elsewhere, S.A.V's set fire to an apartment building. Unable to escape, a woman opens the window and tosses out two Poké Balls, revealing Chloe Rosechu and Blazebob Sonichu... just mere moments before the building explodes. A headband lands on the ground, revealing that their Trainer was none other than PandaHalo. As they mourn her death, the CWCville fire department arrives, and their chief demands that they help defend the city, as he assumes they are part of CWCville's defense force. Chloe attempts to explain that they're visitors from out of town, but Blazebob suggests that they help save the city to honor Panda's memory.

Meanwhile, Sonichu continues to race after the Punislav who captured Rosechu. He encounters an S.A.V. on the way and dispatches it in a manner again based on timmy1984's Sonichu fan videos. Chris adds a note demanding that timmy1984 update his videos to conform to this version.



Magi-Chan conveniently tells Sonichu where Rosechu is and who's waiting for him. As Sonichu rushes to CWCville park, he's ambushed by IBAChandler, a brown Sonichu who seeks to take away credit from the other Electric Hedgehogs. After a brief struggle, Sonichu slashes at IBA's chest with Iron Tail. This changes him back into his human form and destroys his medallion as well. In contrast to Chris's battle with Liquid, Sonichu calls over an ambulance to tend to IBA's injuries. Before the medics can take him away, Devil Trolls from under the ground use their hair to grab IBA and drag him into the earth to safety.

Showdown in CWCville Park
Later, Sonichu arrives at CWCville Park to find Rosechu, unconscious and in the grips of the Punislav. With the Punislav are Eggman, Reldnahc and Giovanni, who threaten to kill Rosechu unless Sonichu swears loyalty to Reldnahc and makes him mayor of CWCville. Whether or not Sonichu actually has the authority to appoint a new mayor, he refuses. Before Giovanni can compel him to reconsider, Bionic blindsides him with a basketball, while Darkbind severs the Punislav's hand, releasing Rosechu. Sonichu wakes her up and cries like a bitch when she asks him what happened.

As Bionic and Darkbind explain what brought them to the battle, Reldnahc notices Bionic and seeks revenge for being hospitalized in Sonichu #7. He quickly throws a Poké Ball at Bionic's head, releasing a Nidoking. At first, the Nidoking overwhelms Bionic, until Sonichu kicks mud in its face. Magi-Chan explains that this weakens Nidokings, but Bionic ignores this advice and proceeds to beat the shit out of it.

Once the Nidoking faints, Reldnahc puts it back in its ball and attacks Bionic directly with his own dark version of Chris's Curse-ye-ha-me-ha, the Quee-fee-mae-mo-bo-bo Wave. Unfazed by this power, Bionic simply catches the energy and plays with it like a basketball, before finally bouncing it back at Reldnahc. Struck by his own "Curse of Embarassment", Reldnahc suddenly pisses and shits himself. Completely humiliated by Bionic once again, Reldnahc teleports away in shame. Giovanni gathers the fallen Robotnik and they escape in Robotnik's vehicle.

The story suddenly flashes back to Magi-Chan, depicting his victory over Silvana in psychic combat. We then return to the present, where Megagi appears for no reason in a cheerleader's outfit to celebrate Bionic's triumph over Reldnahc.

Also, a Bunch of Other Stuff Happened
Magi-Chan summons Sonichu and Rosechu to reinforce the defense of the Mall. On the way, he telepathically fills them in on everything that's been going on that Chris didn't feel like drawing. While some Jerkops were successfully captured and sent off to be unbrainwashed, a lot of them were killed in the fighting. For some reason, the U.S. Army isn't entering the city, but rather is just picking up the defeated Decepti-Clones to recycle as scrap metal. Magi-Chan informs the reader that the "CWC-Power Rangers" dispatched B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, who were turned into giants for the invasion. Finally, he tells Sonichu that Ivy was trapped in an elevator at the Mall, and during the battle the floor dropped out from under her, causing her to be strangled to death on the cables.

Chris includes a note to commemorate Ivy's death, but he neglects to spell her name properly.

Endgame
After all of the fighting, the parking lot surrounding the mall is nothing more than a bombed-out wasteland. Mary Lee Walsh arrives at the dome first, but before she can cast her spell to remove the magic barrier, Sonichu and Rosechu show up. Wasting no time, Sonichu runs up the side of the building and launches himself into the air. Sonichu yanks Mary's broom away, but before she can fall, Count Graduon creates a magic platform for her. Sonichu then leaps down onto the platform and challenges Walsh to single combat.

As Rosechu looks on from below, doing absolutely nothing to assist Sonichu, Slaweel strikes with her pitchfork, then fires a bunch of purple orbs, Sonichu dodging all of them. Sonichu counters with a shot from his finger, knocking the pitchfork from her hand. As he spin-dashes towards her, Slaweel raises a barrier to protect herself, but Sonichu shatters it with a Flash Kick (a la Guile), knocking Slaweel off the platform. She catches herself on the edge, but Graduon refuses to help her. Instead, Sonichu helps her back onto the platform, and as he leaps down to rejoin Rosechu, Mary decides to give up and go home.

On the ground, Rosechu catches Sonichu and asks why he saved Mary's life. Sonichu says that, as a hero, he couldn't let her die and that only Chris is allowed to land the final blow. Why Sonichu let her escape is never discussed.

The story ends with the Chaotic Combo and their various mates gathered at the mall entrance. Sonichu declares that they need to clean up the city and get the children back to watch Mary Poppins. The fact that their beloved city has been turned into a war zone apparently doesn't faze them.

Epilogue
About a month later (9 August 2008), Wild spots an opening in the Time Void over CWCville Forest. Magi-Chan teleports in to explain that the moment has finally arrived to retrieve their "master and creator". Using Wild's vine-lines as a tether, Magi-Chan floats into the Time Void and finds Chris. After Wild yanks them both back out, Chris explains to them his plans, transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu, and races back to the city.

On the final page, Chris declares that once he has concluded his business in the next issue, he will no longer feature his "Nabeshin-like intrusions" in the story, and the continuity of the comic will finally be separated from Chris's reality. Indeed, Sonichu #10 would feature Chris to the exclusion of everyone else, almost as if he was making up for the lost time.

Extras
The comic ends, as most of Chris's comics do, with a few bonus pages. The first of these pages is simply the cover of Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles for the PS2, which is kind of odd considering he'd been playing the PS3 for two years when this issue was published. The next page is some sort of PSA that Sonichu and Rosechu got married in 2006, but kept it a secret from everybody for three years for no reason at all. This image also features their three abominable kids who are equal parts disgusting and stupid. The issue wraps up with Chris displaying his knowledge of CADD (or lack thereof) with horrible diagrams of Wild and Simonla's homes, and a full-size scan of the caricature Chris used on the billboard earlier in the book. Unsurprisingly, the art is of a much higher caliber than anything that Chris could create.

Revised Edition
In September 2015, Chris released his revised version of Sonichu #9 onto Facebook. His retcons were intended to erase references to trolls Ivy and Panda Halo, and make himself appear less homophobic. His characteristic sloppiness and inattentiveness cause him to fail at both projects. He attempts to turn Ivy into a new character named Yasmine Clemen but retains Ivy's name on several pages. Similarly, he tries to retcon "Team Panda Halo" as "Team Halo Calibur," but here too he overlooks a reference. Most confusing of all, while he pays lip service to "diversity" and personal choice, he still calls his enemies "homos," and villainous Naitsirhc still looks like a refugee from a leather bar.