PlayingHouse

PlayingHouse is a video Chris uploaded on 25 October 2010. In this video, Chris plays with some LEGO people like a pedofork. Most notably, he points out the peeps and poops of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the Family Guy episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he lies around at home, "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "Crystal" is portrayed as a sweet and intelligent little girl (attending school and writing in a diary at four years old, no less), her little brother "Reginald" is only referred to when Chris laments him expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night, at one point demanding he stay quiet so he can enjoy Jackie's sweet, wet china in peace. As such, it's another example of Chris's curious misandry in action.

At the end, the minifigs of Jackie and Chris are in bed, and Chris cannot resist miming the inevitable.

Also of note is Chris's first use of what appears to be a makeshift stage with lighting — though as with everything else Chris does with camerawork and lighting, it is badly done — the viewer can see one of the corners of the box because of the shadow, the light is still too low, and the camera isn't centered on the scene.

Video
"Reginald's been a messy lil' babychild! Made his lil' peeps n' poops!"

Transcript
Narrating: Okay, here's another story, in all its love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children. That's, uh, Reginald. This one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby, the younger brother. This'll, this'll double as table and uh, beds, during their respective times. So, on with the show. I'm at home, and my wife's coming home from work.

Jackie: [High pitched voice] Hi honey, I'm home!

Chris: [Normally] Oh hi, sweetheart, how ya doin'? How was your day at work?

Jackie: Oh, it's been good.

Chris: I'm just, I'm happy to see you made it home safe. [Kissing sound]

Jackie: Yes. Anyways, journalism is very hard.

Chris: Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today?

Jackie: Aw, we, aw, I meant, you, oh, my article got printed. It got very huge responses!''

[Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over]

Chris: Really.

Jackie: Yeah! But unfortunately they let off, they laid off Wilkinson at work.

Chris: They laid off Wilkinson? What'd they do that for?

Jackie: 'Pparently he just wasn't keepin' up!

Chris: Oh. That's a shame.

["Children" slide in front of the screen] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [Lego figures appear unfazed]

Jackie: So, how're the kids?

Chris: They're doin', they're doin' okay. You know, they're just play-, they're just playing. Uh, actually, uh, actually Crystal is uh, doing, is uh, doing her preschool homework, and uh, Reg-, and Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' baabychild! Made his lil' peeps n' poops! And he went, and he went weewee all over the bathroom. It was a terrible mess. Terrible mess. I had to clean all that up, and of course I had to change all of his diapers too, when he needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Jackie falls asleep.''] Anyway though, they're doin' okay.

Jackie: So how's uhhwubde-dinnerbeready?

Chris: Yes. Dinner will be ready in a few, in about fifteen minutes, so you can go uh, get your, you can go put your things away and uh, come to dinner.

<font color="#CC3299">Jackie: Alright.

["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]

[Table and chairs are set out]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Dinnertime! Numnumnumnumnum! [Lego figures join table]

[Offscreen] Ah shoot, which ones did I say? Ah, the blue one's Reginald, the orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Narrating: Hm! So anyway, we just finished up dinner.

<font color="#CC3299">Jackie: Mmm, that was delicious, dear!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Why thank you. It was a, it was a specialty I had learned from the uh, home imp-, from the uh, food channel. New recipe: Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans.

<font color="#CC3299">Jackie: Myeah, it was very good!

<font color="#000080">Reginald: Bububububoobee! Th!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places.

<font color="#FF9933">Crystal: Daddy, can I go my woom now? I want to play somethin'. I want to go write my diary and, y'know, get ready for bed soon.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Okay sweetheart, Okay Crystal, you go, you go take care of yourself.

<font color="#FF9933">Crystal: Thank you, daddy!

<font color="#000080">Reginald: Dababubudee!

<font color="#CC3299">Jackie: I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh, dinner table and all that.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Okay.

Narrating: Alright so, I take care of the dishes. Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada. And then a lil' while later, I go upstairs to tuck the children in bed.

<font color="#FF9933">Crystal: Daddy, that was a very lovel-, that was a nice story you read to me.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal.

<font color="#FF9933">Crystal: Daddy? Do you think, do you know what I might be when I grow up?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No. What do you think you might be when you grow up?

<font color="#FF9933">Crystal: I think I want to be a ballerina dancer. Either that, or a police pers-, a police woman. I'm still undecided.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: That's alright, you might, you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Good night! [Fumbles with toy] Oops. ["Kisses"] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl.

<font color="#FF9933">Crystal: Goodnight!

Narrating: Now we tuck Regin-, and now we tuck Reginald in.

<font color="#000080">Reginald: Dabadabadabadubu!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: ["Kiss"] Mmm, well you sleep tight, little partner. Don't be makin' no cries tonight.

<font color="#000080">Reginald: Dubehbedubuh.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm. Wow, he's sound asleep already. I hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

''["Jackie" and "Chris" are on the bed. The bed is only 4 units wide, so both characters are teetering on the edge.]''

Narrating: And now I meet my wife in bed.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm. So what's up for, what's up for tomorrow?

<font color="#CC3299">Jackie: Oh, I got another case to report. They got me doin', they got me doin' a trial with uh, some, with some, against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so, took it up on that.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Alright. Mmm. I got my, I got, tomorrow's shopping day. I have to deal with the uh, have to deal with uh, little Reginald crying in the back seat with me, so Crystal will keep him calm.

<font color="#CC3299">Jackie: That's good.

[Chris begins to do the obvious, but luckily notices in time that society seems to require that pesky "asking" part]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: So, you wanna do it?

<font color="#CC3299">Jackie: Yeah, why not. [Chris pushes the minifigs together] Oh yeah, you do it good! [Chris begins to bang the figures together, the sheer force of it breaks the bed, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds] Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, awhwww, good, goin' great.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: You did good.

<font color="#CC3299">Jackie: Yay!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ah, goodnight. Sleep tight.

[Chris, noticing that the bed has been destroyed, just drops the minifigs on the floor.]

Narrating: The e--