Chris Calls Clyde Out

"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

- William Shakespeare on this video

On 23 April 2009, after a nearly week-long silence, Chris finally spoke up again in Chris Calls Clyde Out.

Despite the video's intention to mock and intimidate Clyde, Chris ironically makes a bigger fool of himself by acting like an angry child playing pretend, showing his fangs, and knocking down his camera no less than three times. This is all pretty hilarious when Chris assumes a "mature" stance at the end of the video, almost as if he expected Clyde (or anybody, for that matter) to take this video seriously.

Notice how when Chris roars at the camera, the back of his tongue is colored white. Make of that what you will.

Video
"Come on, trollman. Come out of your trollster's paradise."

Transcript
Hello, Mr. Clyde. I have a bit of a message for you [sic] response to one you sent to me recently. [pauses, raises eyebrows] Yeah. Basically this is the impression I got from your message.

[Suddenly starts talking in high-pitched voice] Oh, look at me! I feel like a silly man! Look at me, my eyes? Don't look at my silly walk, look at my sill-nee-nyeh! Look at me! I am the troll. I should be more trolly. I should be trolly. Yes, ah-gah-dyeeeh! Ooh I'm mee! Look at mee! I've got an eyelid strip thing, beblehbebeblehh! [makes a retarded face] I could be more laaame! You want me to be more lyaaame? Everyone laaame! I built this Shitty Wall and City Wok. Look at my silly walk! [moves like a penguin] Eeee!

[jump cut, Chris's voice goes up another octave]

Oh, you took down my City Wall?! See my City Wall? I give you akickinthehead. Hiyaa! [Chris raises leg in view of camera] And punchyouintheface. Hiyaaa! Three, I throwsomethingatyou! [points Megatron pistol at camera] Bam! Bam! [pushes pistol at camera and it falls over] And you know what else, I throw something else at you. DAAAAA! [pushes pistol at camera again and it falls over]

[jump cut, Chris's voice returns to normal]

Oh, and how 'bout this?! I g- [video stutters, audio corrupts] BLANGRY! [Chris grunts, growls, and looks a bit constipated]

[Baring fangs and plaque-encrusted tongue]

[Chris shakes his fists and PS3 controller] I will call you out, Mister Cash! I AM CALLING YOU OUT! [he holds his fist up to the camera and punches it]

[video cuts to a calmer Chris in a fighting sort of stance] Come on, trollman. Come out of your trollster's paradise. I'll give you a beatdown. [waving fist at camera] You don't like that? Well... Tough cookies! [Chris holds a thumb up to the camera sideways with a "psh" noise, and then he pauses and punches at it again with another "psh" noise]

[the video cuts again to Chris looking pleased with himself, and he appears to be about to say something, but decides against it] Well Clyde, I'll be calling you out. I know you're in my neck of the woods somewhere, so...just come right on out, and find me. [flashes a victory sign] Peace.