Sonichu 5 Official Videobook



Sonichu #5 Official Videobook is a series of videos made by Chris, in which he reads and comments on Sonichu #5. He started uploading these videos on 15 September 2009.

"Aysmetrical feelings... I love Meg-Chan, yet she's not ready to return or see it."
 * In Episode 12, Wes-Li returns to kidnap his ex-girlfriend, Nicole Rammer! Then the action heats up, with the introduction of Sailor Megtune!

"Ugh... my head... my chest... WHAT'S GOING ON? AAUUUuuugh~"
 * And in Episode 13, CWCville faces its greatest challenge yet: full-scale invasion by an army of jerkops, looking to end true love forever and make a REAL Virginia for Virgins!! Meanwhile Chris is in full-blown stalker fantasy mode with Meg-Chan, and Naitsirhc? Well, as for Naitsirhc...


 * ...we wish we knew.

Other points of note:
 * Videobook Episode 13 uses the retconned Page 50 (Megtune's face) rather than the original Page 50 (the infamous Sailor Asscheeks). See Sonichu #5 for details.

Transcript Part 1
And now, here's Book Number 5! Once again, all copy- all Sonichu material, ro- and Rosechu, and CWCville, and all that, is copyrighted March 17, 2000 by me, Christian Weston Chandler. All names and persons illustrate in any of the Sonichu comics except for that of myself that may seem similar to anyone in real life or fiction are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic.

And some colors in the- and in some- and a few characters in this issue were originally thought up or drawn by Megan Schroeder.

Anyway, here's the cover of book- Book Number 5! And it's just like you know Mary- it's just like Slaweel Ryam has made herself really, really big, and Sonichu's just standin' in front of her, and she's got me trapped in a mirror, and I'm thinkin, "Well, this stinks." Hmm.

And then Sonichu says, "You won't get away with this, Slaweel Ryam!" Hang tight, I'll get ya out of there, Papa. Somehow...

Episode 12: My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding
I desw- I w- decided to stop doing Sub-Episodes, 'cause my mom made me promise not to do anymore sub-episodes. So we doing- so we- so this points full episodes.

Anyway, tonight's Special Summoned Guest Star: Jack's Knight, playing the role of the groom!

[church bells] We're at a church! [wedding march]

I didn't really get an invite, so I'm just hung around there, and I'm in- I'm invisible, behind an invisible cloak. Pretending to be a best man. But anyway, just outside the entrance to the gate, there's, uh, Walter Grisby.


 * If I can't have her, then I'll play magic.

Anyway, the wedding is all- is going nice, and I'm, hey this is the wedding between Nicole and her- and her sweetheart William, and anyway I'm thinking it's too bad I can't stay to catch the bouquet! But at least I can watch my old friend leave for a happier life.

As long as my uh, barrier attack lasts, I can main- invisible only in- I c- I can main visible only in spirit. And I'm also happy because, hmm, found the uh, sweet kinda good gal-pal who a-allows my heat to feel stronger with love. Sweet sailor soldier who I first met after having started playing the heart of the cards. Like destiny in a pyramid of light, but not just destiny, but a strong, pure love: sweeter than a passionate strawberry or the sweetest piece of chocolate.

[PSHW!] Hmm? My sixth sense is tingling! What the! BARRR! There's an arrow flying around! I'm seeing the future, and it goes right through... William... body...


 * "AAahh."

Ps- was future swot! Future sight! [whimpering] No, Nicole's happiness!


 * "HEELLLllllp!"

He's gonna take her away? Jeeze! Oh, no, Sarah happiness will be ruined! I can't let that happen!


 * "It's time to play a CWC-spell!"

...and I pull out my duel-disk... my deck. 'S time to play a CWC-spell! Spelled with C-W-C. Cause if you see my initials, it comes out the word 'quick.' Anyway, in this case, I'll place a CWC-Trap. But I'll play a Reasoning first. Hmm.

And then Walt's about to launch an arrow, and I'm st-standin' right next to him, still invisible, and I'm sayin, "Walt! Walter Grisby!"


 * "Wut?"


 * "This is your voice of reason. You do not have to do this. There are other girls behind the light, magical curtain."


 * "I have no conscience!"

[PSHW!] He fires his arrow. "Shoot! Activate Negate Attack!" My card pops up and i- it takes in the arrow.

Is- and- what- Walt is like, "What is that?"

Fi- is- ts- then somebody- and then somebody in the audience sees the flying arrow, he's like, "FIRE!"


 * "Liar Liar."

Heheh.

"Show yourself, coward," says Wes-Li.

Still remaining vis- invisible, I make my little speech.


 * "I am no coward. Sometimes I'm a great duelist; mostly I am a loyal friend, and I can do wonders behind the scenes. But the truth is... ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER."

[WSHWSHWSH]

And I pull my invisible barrier curtain to reveal myself.


 * "I am legendary warrior of love and honesty: CHRIS-CHAN SONICHU."

And Walter recognizes me, he know- he knows my original name.


 * "Christopher! How dare you interrupt my frank and cruel lovey-dovey plans! YOU AUTISTIC FREAK!"

[FFW] Ouch.

[mumbling thoughts] Eh, remember Meg-Chan... future happiness for us... Nicole's happiness with Will... mostly Meg-Chan... wuluwulusuzu


 * "RIGHT! I do not want to fight my old be- my old be- my best friend's happy-dappy day, we can be adult about this with you leaving in peace and letting the new Mrs. Nicole Rammer Spice live her future in peace."


 * "Hm, you're right," says Walt. "We can live peacefully like adults."


 * "There you go, that's the way to do it!"


 * "But I'm gettin' her, not that jerk!"


 * "What!"

And he knocks me down with a sock-in-the-face! [PSH!]


 * "If there is anyone who objects to this union of Nicole and William, speak now or forever hold your piece."

William says- I mean Walt says, "Um, I do." [PSHWPSHWSHW!] And he grabs Nicole and... he dashes away Nicole and stands on my head. Oof. And he's just standin' on my head with Nicole in her- in his grasp, and he's sayin', "De dame comes with me!"


 * "Walter, you jerk! What is the meaning of this?"

And then I'm thinkin', ok, who played the mega-morph?

Transcript Part 2
And then Walt dashes away with Nicole in his arms, and then I'm j-slapped awake.


 * "Get up! Get up!"

And I'm like, just in a daze for a moment.

An, the father of bride's saying, "Christopher! Please br-bring out baby back!"

"If you don't it'll mean trouble for you," says her mom.


 * "This is terrible!"


 * "Uh... Nicole... Meg-chan... happiness for all... mmm... need... energy..."

Activate spell absorption. Activate Dian Keto!


 * "Yeah, there we go! I'm coming, Nicole. I'm coming to save you. It's TIME to activate my quick-spells and my CWC-spells. Goodbye Magical Mallet, hello helpful duel-spells."

[PFFW] And then I dash after the- after- We- after Walt. And Nicole. And I'm closing in on him, then I'm like, "Alright, my turn." I draw a card, standby, ACTIVATE CREATURE SWAP. [SHWSWH]

An'den- and then I jus' pretty much swap myself with him, so I'm- so I'm th- so I catch Nicole in my arms. And then st- and then I break and make a u-turn, then make back way to the church.


 * "Uh, wha? Chris?"


 * "Hang tight, I'll getcha back to the church on time!"


 * "Darn him! That's! 'N Darn him and his stupido magic! I'm the one with the rabbit, and I'm certainly not gonna let him steal it from my hat!"

He locks onto me and uses a combination of Fireblast and Flamethrower. I'm like, "Yikes." He closes in on me with the flamethrower, and then all of a sudden: [FFFF-THOOMP] He trips on this thing that falls from the s- falls from sky. And then he just sl- anadaden he jis... rolls forward, and then he gets him- hits with the hit flame, [FFWW] his own flame. An'den.


 * "What the flame happened?"

And then we pause for a moment. He's like- Nicole's like, "Who saved us?"

OK, yeah! Hey, she's here! Da-DUN!


 * "A wedding ceremony has no place for burned-up exes! Plotting from behind the sacred column serves no julus- justice!"


 * "And to destroy the dreams of an old friend of a friend of ours is unforgivable. And the hopes and dreams of future happiness earned from tortured times are priceless!"


 * "We are Sailor Soldiers!"

"And we stand for lights of every heart and justice!"


 * "I am Sailor Megtune!"


 * "And I'm Megagi the Skunk!"


 * "And in the name of all hearts, we shall punish you!"

And then Walt faces them and he's like, "How dare you two! I will not be taken down by the likes of you. FLAMETHROWER!" [FFFFFFFFFFF]


 * [singing] "ROCKIN HURRICAAAANE~" [FFWWWW-PSHOOM!]

Deflects the flamethrower back in his face and knocks him down! And Nicole's admiring a little bit.


 * "Wow, that girl sure can rock! You sure know... you sure know how to pick a winner of a gal-pal, Chris! Christopher?"

[lovestruck] Eyeahahhahah-lovey-dovey-yeahhiihhah~ WHAM! Heh.


 * "This is not the time to oogle my maternal creator! You have to play that last CWC-spell!"


 * "That hurt. Ow. Yeah you right; well you played your part pretty well, miss. Alright, I activate Dark Core!" [FWWWW]

And then the dark core appears above Wes- above Walter.


 * "But his head's really stuck in the sand, so I'll have to putt!"

And so I pulled out my lightning bolt to make sword used as a golf club and then I bop him into the dark core, and then that's duel.

Later at the church:

[long and rambling thought]


 * [sigh] Nicole almost lost her straight-forward shot to long happiness. I'm sure that I will get to that- walk down that aisle someday myself, with no trouble. Asymmetrical feelings... I love Meg-Chan, yet she's not ready to return or see it. I'd feel better if I could chat with her on the phone, although she uncomfortable doing that. Our email communications are ok, but speech speaks louder than typed words.

And then some- and then usher tells me, "Chris! Would you comes to the bal- come to the room with the balcony please."

And I say, "Ok." And I'm thinking, what's out that.

And all of a sud- all of a sudden this bouquet falls and I catch it after Nicole says, "Think fast!" And I look up and I see her yeah.


 * "I wanted to thank you for the wonderful childhood years between you and me, and for being by my side today. I wish you the best of luck for your true love and honest relationship. Good luck to you, Christopher."


 * "Mmm. Thanks, Nicole, I wish you the happiest years as well."

And that was the hhhh-appy wedding. Stay tuned for the next episode.

Transcript Part 1
Ok, before we move on, let's make one thing perfectly clear: my email address is ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. C-H-I-S C-H-I-N S-O-N-I-C-H-U. All other email addresses that may seem similar are fake, and therewith- there likely host by trolls. And mine is not hosted by trolls, I can tell you that. I have complete control over my aol address. So there for, you send it to this email address, you're definitely sending it to the right person. Me. Christian Weston Chandler. So there. Anyway, let's move on.

Episode 13.
We're settin' up the scenery of the City of CWCville, where true love blossoms between true-loving couples. Wreather at the park...


 * "Joseph~"


 * "Mary~"

Mmm~! [PSH!!]


 * "By the order of our mistress! Love is forgiven! Forbidden!

What was that?! Uh, moving on, at a local coffee shop...


 * "Julia... I... I held- I held this in for so long..."


 * "Yes, Nick?"


 * "Julia... I lo- I lo-"

[WPSH!]


 * [gasp!] "Oh my God!"


 * "Ryam forbids love confessions!!"

Uh! Jeeze! Well how about close to the... [PSH] Oh...


 * "Oh, I...!"


 * "Eeeaaaaa~"


 * "I gotta go call 911!"


 * "Hand-holding is forbidden in the name of Slaweel Ryam!!"

Oh, how troubling! And where is our favorite hedgehog and mayor? They currently chillin' at the CWCville Shopping Center! The best mall ever, with all the cool stores, including the Pokemon Center, which used to be in New York City!

[sigh] [singing] Dunuh-dunuh-dunuh, we're just sittin' in the middle.

[epic text walls commence]


 * [sigh] "Well, Sonichu, I've been feeling lots better since I've first- since I've first met Meg-Chan. She's bo- she's the sweetest, and she's- she has the right spunk amo-among all ladies."


 * "Yeap. I unde- yep, just like me and Rosey. But yet she's been ha- she's yet to return the feelings, hadn't she, sir."


 * "Yeah, but I've been very patient with her. By being a kind and understanding friend for her, giving her time and space, and helping her feel ok, she's warming up to me. Not only that, but with each amount of time I spend with her personally, ehh- with each of her warm, tender smiles, and with the each of her loving thought about her, each loving thought about her, my heart grows fonder with the true love I feel for her. At least she knows that I have those feelings for her. I had the guts to tell her personally.


 * "Hmm. Well, Rosechu and the other hedgehogs and I wish you the best of luck, sir, with her."


 * "Thank you. Speaking of which, did you n- [pant] know that I haven't used that dumb sign since that fiasco at the Get-Tar Region, yet all it took was turning to the "Heart of the Cards" to find the best woman of the rest. She's irreplaceable."


 * "And she's single too, right?"


 * "Ha. Well, that was a fortunate bonus. I easi- I easily mistook her brother at first, though."

[PFFT] "Alright, over the loud speakers at the CWCville Shopping Center, we're rockin' with the best of light rock and anime hits, and everything here at station KCWC: CWCville's Number One Radio Station! Keepin' it real with Jamsta Sonichu! YOWZA! I've just been handed an urgent bulletin: apparently, a jerkop squad has been harassing loving couples around the city! The true men and women of blue and black can't keep up with these minons of this- of de dirtiest- of the dirtiest witch of PVCCitizens, Slaweel Ryam. We could really use the help of my main dudes, Christian Chandler and Sonichu and the rest of the h-Chaotic Combo about now. More news after this groove-track from Monica Rial."


 * "Dang! I can't believe it! I thought her reign of heart-shattering terror was over! Well, I won't let her get away with it! It was a good thing I informed the citizens about the difference between jerkops and the true police people!"

And me a while back, I have made a speech over a podium, tellin' everybody, "And so, I urge you, the citizens of CWCville, Dirgit- Virginia, to remember: with the police, only Black and Blue are True; all other coller- all other colors are VICE! They are fakess, and they are impostors. Thank you."

So then Sonichu and I dash out of the CWCville mall; yeah he dashes on a head, a little bit ahead of me. But I pull out my Nintendo DS, and I call up my hoverboard. Mm- after I uh, look at the uh, overhead map. I'm like, "Whew! Look at all these things!"

There's a whole bunch of these uh, between a number of the true police people and the villi- and the villains- the impostorous police.


 * "Wow! There's jerkops everywhere, and my CWCville police- police are eas- are vastly outnumbered. Let's go, Sonichu."

So I call my Air Rider. Board. Beep!

Meanwhile, in the city, the police are doing their best to hold back the citizens, while the police do their best to fight the jerkops and janekops. Along with their leader, Slaweel Ryam and Count Graduon.


 * YES! With my battalion of jerkops at the ready, and my monster in my shadow, I'm sure to lure that nuisance, Christian, into my trap! When he stands in thers rectangle below, I'll have him! In my clutches! Hehehehe!


 * UEH! With that Cherio- With that Cherokee out of the picture, I will be able to take over the city, then the world! Especially with the dark shadow within the adopted child in Viridian!

DON'T WORRY CITIZENS! Sonichu and I and the re- e-e-e'rbody el- We're all coming to save the day! [fanfare] DUNDUH-DUNDUH!

So we both- we both arrive there safely, and the policeman- and the police officer says, "Glad- so glad to see you here, your honor!"


 * "At ease, Constable. I've assessed the situation. Wow, so organized neatly. She's pulled out all the stops. Leave it to me and my hedgehog crew, Constable. Keep all the civilians out of the metroplex. That's an order."


 * "Yes, SIR!"

And in the nearby an alley, there's uh, Megagi's just hiding in there. She's calling M- She calling Meg-Chan. She's goin', "Meg? It's me! There's trouble in CWCville! Come quick!"

Alright so, I got- I have to call my cavalry.


 * "CWC-Spell Magic: ELECTRIC CHAOTIC SUMMON!"

Then upon then now all the other hedgehogs get the little beam of blue light beamed down on them, then the rez- then they realite's, they're gonna be teleported to action; they're being called. And then I have to call my sister as well.


 * "Heart-Torch Glow! Twin sister call!"

And she re- and then she notices the uh, blue light around her; she uh- she's shopping at the time.

Oh, my brother needs me! Aw, I was having fun sampling this wonderful perfume. Well, duty calls!

[Sonichu theme] Go, Go Electric Hedgehogs! Doo-DOO-de-doo-de-doo~

ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER! [theme song]

[WSHWSHWSH] [chimes] Crystalina Rosechu!

[WSHWSHWSH] [fanfare] Da-daa! Chris-Chan Sonichu!


 * "Warrior lu- of love and honesty- Warrior of TRUE love and honesty, Chris-Chan Sonichu."


 * "Warrior o' love and hearts, Crystalina Rosechu."


 * [chorus] AND THE SONICHUS AND ROSECHUS OF CWCVILLE, VIRGINIA! We are CHRIS-CHAN PURE and the CHAOTIC COMBO!

Title of Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts and Entrapment."

So then I call- so then I make my call to Slaweel the evil witch.


 * "Evil witch of dark descent! Return to the darkness from which you came!"


 * "Nah'only will I not retreat, but I will send out my Big Man to destroy you, Christian! Come out, Kinero-Mene!!"

And then comes out this big, tall guy; he's a really big, monsterous size.


 * "Hallo thar, Chicos! Your mall design is... I have Grade 'F' Destruction for you!"


 * [scoff] "Oh, it is on! Sonichu, take the Chaotic Combo; disperse and attack the jerkops. Crystalina, help me in taking down that CADD Chef impostor. Let's go! HYAAAA!"

And yet the sonichu- and while the sonichus and rosechus an' e'erbody an'a- an dere all attackin', takin' down all the jerkops and janekops, Crystalina and I personally attack the CADD Chef. And yet as we approach the uh, giant CADD Chef, he jaunches some, uh... fistful of attacks against us, but we manage to dodge them. And then we- and then we both make our jumps onto him, and then we go- er- we crawl up his le- an'den- an'den, when we hit his leg, it's like 'clank clank.' It's like, uh, ok he's made a construction steel.


 * "Hmm. Crystalina, follow me!"

Yeah, and so we're going up him. And then we're both sr- sr- going around his head in circles, and yet I- and yet, I notice- a'yet I was able to uh, make a hole in the top of his head with my- with my Spin Dash. And then I gave him a quick thunder in the head.

And then Slaweel's like, "You cannot screw his head! You cannot unscrew his head, nor make him dizzy! Ha-haa! SPECIAL DARK SPEAR ATTACK!" [PF-PF!]

Transcript Part 2
Yeah, because our- yeah, our attacks were useless against him at the time. Anywa- anyway, uh her- anyway, Slaweel's did hit us both, and we got ru- knocked off the uh, giant monster. We ha- we uh, land on the ground. We yet we survived. And yet I look up but in a daze, I'm like, "Oh no! He's makin' a big jump, and he's about to land on both of us!"

[WHWHWHWHWHW-DEW-PSH] Whoa! Something knocked him off course!


 * "WHAT?"

[Sailor Soldier theme]

And middle bad- and mid-battle, Sonichu pauses to take notice.


 * "Well, those jerkops gave lol- gave us all the run for the money. Oh, look who's joined the party!"

[Sailor Soldier theme]


 * "Terrorizing the week-end and n-threatening to destroy a masterpiece of the heart? I will'st not stand for that!"


 * "And we won't let you get away with it, either."


 * "We are Sailor Soldiers!"


 * "And we stand for every heart light and justice!"


 * "I'm Sailor Megtune!"


 * "And I'm Legagi Na-Skunk!"


 * "And in the name of all hearts, we shall punish you!"

So anyway, for the moment, Slaweel is puzzled, but yet, uh- and yet Count Graduon's just surprised. "Uh huh!," Count Graduon says.

And then Slaweel says, "Eh, first we had the parodic transformations. Now we actual have a pretty girl Sailor Soldier? What a kooky world!"


 * "Chris-Chan, finish that monster!"


 * "YES!"


 * So that Megtune! Wow, my brut'er can sure pick a real winner of a gal-pal!


 * "BLUE THUNDER!"


 * "ORANGE THUNDER!"

[PFFW-PSH!]


 * "Our unique souls..."


 * "...shall grind and crush your black hearts!"

CHRIS-CHAN PURE PULSE JOLT LANCE!

And our- he happens to be landing- his head is facing us, so w'we have to do is put our- a-aim our attack into the hole I made in his head. An' then that made him explode. Mm.

And then, alright, that attacks over with, I still got some energy in me.


 * "Alright, Slaweel, it's your turn! CURSE-YE-HA-ME...!"


 * We don't think so! Dark Mirror Hole!

Whoa! This thing can opens up under me and I'm slipping in? Whoa! When did the- when did the cement become water? Or quicksand, for that matter! Anyway, e'erbody else is surprised and Ma- and Megchan and Crystalina are rushin' to ss- rushin' to grab my hands. They successfully got my... hands.

So now they're tryin' to- now they're tryin' to rescue me from the quicksand glass abyss.

Well, this stinks. [wrong order] Then again, I'm thinkin', if I don't get out, they will be sad. Girls, let go. You may be sucked into this darkness. I don't want you both to suffer. [whimper]

Meanwhile, in Viridian City: [PFF] Hmm.


 * [wrong voice] "This- [right voice] This stinks."

My thought is being telepathically linked. To Naitsirhc, and Naitsirhc's like, "Huh? This plot doesn't stink!" He was plotting at the time. And he's like, "What's going on? Ooff. My head. My chest! What's going on? Eeeauh~ Where this thing come from?"

When the original medal is so- is submerged in darkness, the dark medal will appear. And he s-whose name is reversed will transform into the- into an ultimate dark being of complete opposite origins.

Anyway, Naitsirhc's transformation is happening over at the uh, Giovanni base; and Team Rocket base. Anyway, just after the incident, Black Sonichu, Blake, walks by, and he says- he thinks Naitsirhc is me. Then, "Huh? What're you doin' in Naitsirhc's room? Look, just because you're my so-called fath- so-my so-called creator and director, doesn't mean that you can barge in and..."


 * "Eeerrrrah."


 * "Wait. You're not Christian. What the heavy metal rock band is going on here? Naitsirhc?"

Meanwhile, back in CWCville. Hmm. I'm- eem- the powers being con-trolled by- controlled by uh, Count Graduon, n'he's thinking, "How futile! Why else do you give a darn about him? Wait. I have it. I can make Christian really suffer by sealing his two girlfriends in the mirror, instead of him! Time to turn the tables, heh-heh-heh-heh-heh."

An'then all of a sudden there's a click and a whir. And then Cri- and then while the two are in effor- grine'it- effort they're sayin', "Wa-hang in there Chris! We won't let you go!"

And then Crystalina notices the click-whir 'n'shz like, "What the?! Is the ground flipping? Oh, I can't let my brother go, yet I don't want Meg to be trapped either. There's only one thing I can do. I'm sorry, Meg."

So she wraps her tail around her... neck, an'den flung- and'den flungs- and den flings her away. Aside.


 * "Oof. Oof. Christian! Crystal! Noooooo~"

And the mirror does flip, and yet I'm the one on the outside and, um Crystal is trapped on the inside.

And in her last buh-breath before she's ssss-falls into the sunder in there, calls out my name, "Christoperrr."


 * "No! Crystal!"

"Huh. Well, I got one anyway," says Slaweel.

And then Meg is just feeling sa- 'n sad over this- had over this chain of events.


 * "Oh Christian! Your sister! What can I say that can atone for your loss. Such tender feelings. No. Due my past events I must ignore those feelings. Ah, but I can't help but feel sorry for him; he looks so pitiful! Besides, if I lost my brwother, he'd do what he could to mend m-my emotional wound."

And now we're all gathered together, and yet now Slaweel has Crystal trapped in the mirror, 'n she's saying, "You may have take' down my squad, but I have yo' Sistah, Mistah! HAHAHAHAHA-HAHA!"

To be continued in the next book! Stay tuned for the next book! Thank you! What a cliff-hanger!