Jackie E-mails 18

This page lists e-mails exchanged between Chris and Jackie from 12 October to 22 October 2010.

They kick off with Chris apologizing for not being able to do a pull-up, followed by Jackie demanding for a bunch of new video content. Chris complies with some of them, but is unable to complete others because his computer (allegedly) constantly freezes. Jackie can see the Trophies tally up, with timestamps, on his PSN account, and calls him out on it, suggesting that Chris sell his PS3 games. Chris refuses to comply.

October 13, 2010 - 9:45am

Hey Chris!

Thanks for sending me the video of your attempted pull-ups. If nothing else, at least I know you tried. And hey, it just shows that you need to work out some more, right?

I look forward to seeing the "webcam" video tonight. And I'll be on, so we can have a chat. Talk to you then!!

XO XO XO XO XO

Jackie@undefined

October 14, 2010 - 4:50pm

Chris, you didn't upload the video like you said you would last night. Where are you? Are you missing? Should I call the cops? What happened?

Jackie@undefined

October 14, 2010 - 7:15pm

Oh, good Chris. I'm glad you're okay, I was a little worried. Thanks for checking in with me. I look forward to seeing the two videos!

Jackie@undefined

October 15, 2010 - 3:05pm

Hey Chris! Thanks for getting those videos up for me. Hey, I'd like you to do the pregnancy-theme video tonight. Here's the story: My aunt was telling me the other day of something really sweet her husband did for her years ago when she was pregnant with my cousin. My aunt was sore and in pain for a lot of her pregnancy, because carrying around a giant fetus in your womb is backbreaking work and what not, so her husband actually put on a false pregnancy weight that he wore around his stomach and wore it sometimes, to show that he shared her pain and that they were in this pregnancy together. It was just the sweetest gesture. I'd love it if you made a video where you strapped some pillows under your shirt, or some other kind of weight, and showed yourself enduring the stress of pregnancy. It would be such a romantic gesture! And after the baby was born, my aunt's husband wore this strap on his chest that he could attach milk bottles to, so he could actually "breast feed" the baby, so to speak. That way my aunt didn't have to do it all the time. Do you have like a doll or something that you could pretend to be a baby? I'd love to see you pretend that you were breastfeeding our baby. I think it's such a turn-on when a man wants to be domestic like that... :) (You don't need the milk-bottle strap or anything, just pretend you're breast-feeding.)

Anyway, look forward to seeing it!!

XO XO XO

Jackie@undefined

October 16, 2010 - 7:10pm

Hey Chris, you know, you could check your email a little more frequently and respond when I ask if you'll be around, especially since you know by now that I email you questions like that during the day. I'd rather hear that you won't be available to chat, than not hear anything at all from you. A little effort on your part is all I'm asking.

Jackie@undefined

October 17, 2010 - 5:55pm

Considering what you have done these past few days - getting trophy after trophy on your PSN (I know how to check how much time you've been spending playing games online, baby…), I think you should make the videos I actually asked you to make in addition to these ideas. This will be considered your make up homework, and I will provide you with extra credit for these requirements. Yes, they are required. I'll re-list the ones I wanted to see here, along with some new ones:

• bollywood video! my cousins and I loooove bollywood. It is soooo romantic and exotic. I want you dress up like the LEAD GIRL IN THE FILM. She is wearing a SARI. Clothes are just clothes, boys can wear dresses and girls can wear pants! Bras are for everyone! I want a red dot on your forehead, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L7IOh2J0cs This is this film. SING along with the music (I want to hear it LOUD AND CLEAR in the background) and I want you to dance like the beautiful women. Seductive. Follow the main actress. • tee pee in your back yard. Like a fort, but it must be a tee pee. Smoke a peace pipe and offer it to the camera. • I want a video of you playing House! As Daddy, Mommy (Jackie, me), and Reginald and Crystal. Dress up as each member of our family and state your roles to the camera while acting like the character. I want Reginald to be just a baby in it, too. A 2 year old. Please be accurate with your clothing, no cardboard or construction paper allowed. • Dress up as Captain K’nuckles. Make a bubbie to sit on your shoulder instead of a parrot! Sing a sea shanty ABOUT ADVENTURE AND CANDY. EAT A LOT OF CANDY ON SCREEN. • Work out video! RICHARD SIMMONS style. Jumping jacks, twirling, kicking feet to the music of my favorite cardio soundtrack: ASS n TITTIES. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM6KuBUeAKc I want this music playing the background, loud and clear. • A day in the life of Chris video. I want you to give me a tour of Charlottesville and describe your favorite destinations. I would love if you could interview locals, too. Along the way, you can talk about how life has been this past year and what you've been up to.. At the end of the vide I want you to say "At least my head's not a FUCKING ORANGE". This is in reference to Clyde tanning to much and being judgmental and uggers. PLEASE SAY THAT EXACT SENTENCE. BUT DO NOT mention who it's reference too. Just say ""At least my head's not a FUCKING ORANGE". Then smile at the camera and say bye byes!! :) • Sonichu Babies - sock puppets of your Sonichu characters performing a play. • Presidential Campaign and Debate video - pitch your platform for fixing the country, and have a debate against an opponent, any troll opponent, whoever you like.

To be honest Chris, I was very very emotional this morning when I saw all the new trophies. But, in light of your new e-mail… I am filled with renewed feelings. I am optimistic that you will do your assignments and treat them like you did your finals in high school. Thanks for being sooooo driven, Chris. I am eager for your new stuff!

Jackie

P.S. You got the title of the Harry Potter video wrong. It was supposed to be "I put on my robe and wizard hat." Considering you had the text log right there in front of you, you could have wrote in on a post-it or something so you could remember it correctly.@undefined

October 18, 2010 - 4:54pm

Have you gotten any decent responses for your zordon ranger toys yet? Why don't you just sell some of your PS3 games instead of continuing to buy more? If you really wanted to get that replacement motherboard quickly, you know you could get the $80 or whatever pretty fast just by selling a handful of games you don't play anymore, instead of age-old toys that no one but a few collectors here and there might be interested in buying.

I just really don't want to go the rest of the month without seeing any videos when you and I both know you have an easy and quick way to fix this problem.

Jackie@undefined

October 19, 2010 - 3:34pm

Hey Chris! Thanks for the videos. They were great! Although I think something got screwed up with the lighting in your pregnancy video, because all I can see of you is a silhouette. Will you please do that one again for me? I want to see that up tonight. Just redo it the same way you did it, but make sure the lights are all on so I can actually see you in full light the whole time.

So anyway, redo that, and then for tonight's official video I want you to do the Work out video! RICHARD SIMMONS style. Jumping jacks, twirling, kicking feet to the music of my favorite cardio soundtrack: ASS n TITTIES. -For tomorrow's video (10/20), I want you to do the Sonichu Babies puppet show. -For Thursday (10/21), I want a video of you playing House! As Daddy, Mommy (Jackie, me), and Reginald and Crystal. Dress up as each member of our family and state your roles to the camera while acting like the character. I want Reginald to be just a baby in it, too. A 2 year old. Please be accurate with your clothing, no cardboard or construction paper allowed. -For Friday (10/22), I want you to do the tee pee video in your back yard. Like a fort, but it must be a tee pee. Smoke a peace pipe and offer it to the camera. -For Saturday (10/23), I want the day in the life of Chris video. I want you to give me a tour of Charlottesville and describe your favorite destinations. I would love if you could interview locals, too. Along the way, you can talk about how life has been this past year and what you've been up to.. At the end of the vide I want you to say "At least my head's not a FUCKING ORANGE". This is in reference to Clyde tanning to much and being judgmental and uggers. PLEASE SAY THAT EXACT SENTENCE. BUT DO NOT mention who it's reference too. Just say ""At least my head's not a FUCKING ORANGE". Then smile at the camera and say bye byes!! :)

We'll talk more about what videos I want after that soon enough. Have you sold some of the PS3 games you don't play anymore yet? You could get rid of Modnation Racers (especially since you bought two copies of the exact same game!), and Little Big Planet, and that Flipnote game for your DS; I know you haven't touched any of those games in months. Because I really miss talking to you on IM, and I want to talk to you again soon - I hope you miss talking to me enough to get rid of some old games that are just sitting on your shelf. I mean, those Zordon Ranger toys probably won't get you any money. I'm just venturing a guess that you haven't received any worthwhile offers on them yet, right?

Well, I look forward to seeing the new videos!

Jackie

P.S. From now on, you really need to have the videos up by midnight each night. Close to half of the videos you've posted "on time" this month were well into the morning hours of the next day. (And that's not counting when you decided to get lax on the contest because you didn't want to replace your computer's motherboard.) So I look forward to seeing those videos before I go to bed tonight!!@undefined

October 19, 2010 - 3:54pm

Ooh, great!! I can't wait to talk to you tonight!!

XOXO

Jackie@undefined

October 20, 2010 - 7:27pm

Well, if you can't get it up, I guess you can't get it up. Put the video up as soon as you are able, though, I am really looking forward to seeing it!

Ooh, you know what you could do for me in the meantime? Why don't you send me the completed replacement pages for the end of Sonichu 10? It's been a few weeks since you said you would put those together, I bet they're really good! Send those to me tonight, okay sweetie??

XOXO

Jackie@undefined

October 21, 2010 - 6:50pm Well, if you would just sell some of your PS3 games already, you could replace that computer and you could actually talk to each other. Or the PS3 itself. You said that buying it was just a spur-of-the-moment impulse, but that doesn't explain why you haven't gotten rid of it in the months since then.

What about the replacement pages for the end of Sonichu 10? I asked you to send them to me yesterday, why didn't you do so? At least then I'd have SOMETHING to do while you play your PS3.

Jackie@undefined

October 22, 2010 - 8:37pm

Chris, were you planning to respond to me any time soon?

Jackie@undefined