Kacey Call 11

The following phone conversation between Chris and Kacey took place in early September 2009. This conversation is notable as it shows how Chris feels on a wide variety of topics ranging from Muscle bras to Liquid Chris's penis. It starts out with Chris saying he was not given a job at Target, the topic then changes to his current finances. Chris quickly changes the topic to his weight loss. When Chris realises he is failing at this too, he once again changes the topic to psychology, he says he can help by writing a 500 word essay on autism for her abnormal psych classes. (Discussion on bras) Kacey says she likes to mix her perfumes, Chris says he likes to mix cooked vegetables with mashed potatoes. Chris then starts talking about Family guy which unsuprisingly bores Kacey. She abruptly changes the topic to Vivian's audiobooks and how good they are, this irritates Chris. Chris tells Kacey how happy he is about the death of Clyde cash. He also says that he never read Vivian's book and gave it to Rocky, who hated it. He wants to send a letter to his doctor to fix his bent duck and make it longer. Chris asks about the dimensions of Liquid Chris's penis. Kacey says its 9 inches long, hearing this Chris admits defeat, the call then ends after Chris contradicts himself.

Summary

 * Chris got an email saying Target was not going to hire him.
 * Chris has 10 dollars in the bank but he's going to start saving!
 * Chris volunteers to give Kacey a Q&A about autism for her Abnormal Psychology class
 * Chris tries to push a relationship on her, but she turns him down right away.
 * Chris says the last workout he had was standing on one leg for an ENTIRE Guitar Hero song!
 * "I can be just as good in Guitar Hero as a real guitar."
 * Chris walks around the mall for exercise. Five whole laps!
 * Chris complains about the lack of male bras at J.C. Penney's.
 * Chris didn't realize you can wash bras... He believed you had to throw them away after three days of use.
 * Kacey suggests for Chris to spray his bras with febreze. Kacey recommends lavender..
 * Chris says he was reading Playboy earlier and they had a Family Guy article.
 * Chris is upset to find out that Stewie is gay.
 * Chris admits to reading Playgirl once.
 * Kacey says that she is excited for Vivian's next audiobook. Chris gets stressed out.
 * Kacey suggests to Chris to make his own audiobooks if he doesn't like Vivian's version.
 * Chris says that he never read Vivian's book, and he gave it to Rocky instead.
 * Chris is trying to get a discount at the gym by talking to his doctor.
 * Chris sent a letter to his doctor about his penis. Letter included asking about if his penis being bent was okay, how to straighten it out, and trying to get penis enlarging medication.
 * Chris asks Kacey how big Liquid's penis is. Kacey starts laughing really hard, and then says that it's 9 inches, thick, and it would hurt sometimes. Chris is amazed and sounds depressed and talks about how small his penis is.
 * Kacey says she has to go, unless Chris has any more questions about Liquid's cock. Chris says no, and the call ends.

Video
 

Chris: Hello?

Kacey: Hey Chris! It’s Kacey, how are ya?

Chris: Hi Kacey, I'm good, how are you?

Kacey: Ah-I'm good. You know, just really busy with school and work.

Chris: ...Yeah.

Kacey: Y'know, gotta make that money! Gotta save it up-up. [Sound glitch]

Chris: Yeah, I will be saving up myself, y'know, after I get my, after I get one, after I get mah joooooooob, you know. Even though I, ah, received an e-mail notice from Target saying they're not gonna hire me, because y'know, they got, they got enough people as it is right now. I'm sure they'll keep my, ah, file on record, until uh, they find an opening.

Kacey: Nolikeyeah, I think they do that, um, I think it's, uh, it's easier every 30 days or three months, it depends on the company. [''Beat. Kacey continues at the same moment Chris tries to start.''] So, speaking of money, are you doing OK, curbing your spending?

Chris: (grunt/sigh) Yeah, I'm turning out OK. Yeah.

Kacey: ...Um. I mean, you know, I'm really worried about that because, I mean, you know, with what you've told me about how much you spend on video games and everything, um, are you buying anything from the, you know, all that stuff right now, like any games, do you have any plans?

Chris: Ahh, yeah, I have no plans right now, so I'm not expecting to buy anything at the... for... for a whi- for a while. I've got money, I've got a few, uh, I got like about, ten, I've got like 'bout ten bucks in the bank right now. I can always, I can, I can always deposit it.

Kacey: Well, um, you know, I think I've been to harsh on you, so I want to help you, um, do you think, maybe, um, I could help coach you with these things, like, you know, like, maybe you could forward me, like, what you spend, like, we'd just start something small like the PlayStation Network, or something. Like, and I can coach you. I-I'm really sorry, I think I was too harsh on you.

Chris: [chirps happily] Hmm. OK, that sounds good. I'd appreciate that, Yeah.

Kacey: Oh, awesome. Yeah, it's my way of an apology.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: It's OK, I mean, you don't have to apologize, uh I mean you acted the way you did because you felt like you had to.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah but [Chris talks over her: "And, I, uh, respect you for what you did."] just forward me whatever purchases you make and um I will definitely help you soon- I'm happy you appreciate that.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK. Hang on a second, though.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh and my remote control. I was just, uh taking in the [unintelligible], y'know. I did- I did a whole buncha- I did a lot of walking today, I did, I did another long lap around the neighborhood. Instead of taking the easier counter-clockwise route around the, uh, 'hood I went clockwise and actually powerwalked- powerwalked, the steep incline we have here.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh nice. How much is a lap for you? Is it like a mile or something?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmm. I'm not sure what the distance is. I could prob- I could probably measure it in my car. Um, but yeah- it is, but yeah, uh, of course I'm counting also going into the, uh, into the little court are-, into the little courts, y'know. It's like, y'know, the cul- the, end of the cul-de-sacs, y'know going down those, uh...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Mhm.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: ...courts? Up and down them? Pipi, Pipipi!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well did you run or jog the whole time? 'Cause remember you just gotta get that heart rate up.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. I powerwalked. Today I powerwalked but yesterday I did- yesterday I did some jogging in there as well.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I think you should look up how to get your heart rate up and where your heart rate should be. Because, I mean, you just can't walk and um, and I'm not there to show you obviously because I've got so much going with school, but um, if you Google it that should be awesome.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK. Alright. Well, let me ask you though. I thought of this question earlier. Uh yeah, you're, you're uh, studying to be a nurse. Do you have to take any, uh, psychological-type classes like, y'know, uh, y'know like any classes like a psychiatrist would have to take?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh of course. Um I'm actually in, um, Second Level Human Growth and Development this semester.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean a lot of it overlaps, I mean I'll be taking Abnormal Psych next semester.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: A normal... psych class?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Abnormal? Like not normal. Yeah.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh abnormal. OK. Yeah, have you, uh, alright, I'll tell you what--if you, if you get to the part where they talk about autism I could, I could give you some, some information on that and probably help you with any essays you have to write or whatever.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh yeah. That would be interesting. Y'know get a little perspective maybe I'll get some extra credit.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Alright. Yeah, you know, I mean it's too bad we couldn't plan the, uh, trips of you coming over here with your hanging out, y'know, Labor Day, being Labor Day weekend.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I know, I know.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I mean...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I had to work all day so I mean but hey, y'know, making that money. But, um, back to what you said about helping me with class. Um, why don't- I mean You can start whenever because even though I'm taking it next semester that way I'll be prepared I mean. Why don't you describe autism to me? You know, like, gi- give me a feel for it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Alright. I'll have to give it some thought but I'll have, write you a, uh, minimum 100-, maximum 500-word essay about it. How about that? And I'll-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh that would be awesome! Please, please do!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: And I'll, and I will double space it for you. And I'll- I'll

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Ok, that's cool!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'll- I'll- I'll handwrite it first, and then I'll type it up in Microsoft Word.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, well, I mean 100 words isn't that much, so I mean so make it as long as you want, do as much as you can.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah ok, well then maybe I'll update- maybe I'll up the minimum to 500 words, then,

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, cool.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Alright... And I mean, yek- y'know I did have to write such essays many times before, so yeah, I- I got good grades on my essays.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: That's good... So speaking of those essays, did you ever upload those to the Cwckipedia like you said you were going to for me?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Hm, I haven't been able to, uh, get around to finding the essays yet, but I'm looking for them.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh awesome, because I really, really really wanna see those.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ok.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I am very interested.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, one thing I can start off with the, for the with the for the Cwckipedia though is uh, y'know I had on the original sonichu site which I still had those htro, those uh, html files of. And, uh, also the, uh, short- short lived, uh, Sonichu's news- Sonichu News Dash newsletter I uh, actually in real life distributed it, a little bit, distributed in Piedmont Virginia Community College. I mean that was like a lame att- that was a, kind of a near a lame attempt, for me, for me to try to find a, try... Just another attempt at my sweetheart search. Because I constantly had this, uh, because I always had to add the in uh, like y'know "Oh yeah... I'm searching for, I'm searching... Christian Weston Chandler still searching for 18 to current age year old, girl, yada yada yada"

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, maybe that's why they didn't want it, because, I mean, Nintendo Power is supposed to be about stuff, but, remember, um, no I mean like essays, um, y'know, like from high school and stuff. Like Y'know? That y'know to see another side of you, beyond the Sonichu. Y'know let me get to know the REAL Christian Weston Chandler.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, OK. Alright, well yea- I am definitely looking for those,and I will... and if I ha-, if I don't have it on paper, I will type the them up on Microsph- I will type them up and uh, get those up to- those up there as soon as possible.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK awesome, I'm excited, yay. I feel like we're getting back on a good, you know, path.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ok that's good, uh, you mean a good path in our friendship?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yes, yes in our friendship.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ok, that's good that's very good. Well actually, just to let you know, though, uh, I heard in church- uh, actually, was it? Uh yeah today is Monday, isn't it?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yes, today is Monday.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yes, so that was yesterday, yesterday in church, I heard about, uh, from the current president of the, UVA's student services? Something like that, uh, over at, uh, speaking at the western memorial yesterday, uh, at the church. And then, and the nearby western memorial foundation building, where the art students do some activities? Y'know,for UVA students within? and then the whatever adults or whatever? Uh, there's gonna be a yoga session this Wednesday, and I'm gonna, and I'm g- and I'm planning on going to it, y'know to make, to meet some new people, hopefully make some new friends.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: That sounds awesome! I hope you do! That- that's good for you!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, plus it's uh, yoga, so, y'know I've only heard of yoga on television...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well yoga takes a lot of flexibility and balance, so, you know, just don't overdo y-.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah ok... I mean, I know they talk a lot about yoga on Wii Fit, haha.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah well it's a lot different from Wii Fit. I mean do you think you have good flexibility and balance?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh, yeah I- I think I do, I think I'd do well. I can stand to waa-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean are you really good at the Wii Fit? Do you play Wii Fit a lot?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No, ah, I do not currently own Wii Fit. But I mean, understand I was just talking about y'know in the balance, I think I have a fairly good balance. Sometimes I even go as long as ha- about uh, pi, about uh, whole songtrack on Guitar Hero standing on one leg!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh! Yeah, that sounds uh, that sounds interesting.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I mean have you ever tried that, playing g-, playing, playing Guitar Ghero, on the guitar, standing on one leg?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Hm (Giggles) sou- sounds kinda funny to me, I mean but you know, like standing one leg isn't that hard.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, but still I mean it's like, you gotta make like a flamingo, and bend the other leg upward, and like, y-y-you definitely gotta be like, uh, you gotta definitely have balance doing that.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, I suppose so, I mean especially if the guitar is heavy. I mean, I don't know, I haven't played Guitar Hero, I've only played Rock Band, but I guess they're the same ones, right?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, they're guitars. Even though it's like you know Rock band has like the Fender Stratocaster in the upcoming Beatle recreations, and guitar is mostly, uh, Gibson

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, ok.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, although, although I will let you know about this, though, between Guitar Hero and, uh, and Rock Band guitars, I definitely like the- like the Guitar Hero guitars better because they click, and the Rock Band guitars? They're just so- they're just so flimsy.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well I like real guitars better, I think they're sexy.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah well...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Especially when guys can write songs. Like I would love it if a guy wrote a song for me.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hm, maybe I could write a song, because you know between Guitar Hero World Tour Metallica and Guitar Hero 5, they have song creation, you just call it GH...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: No, but like on a real guitar. I mean it's like you know, my Chris did that for me, it was augh, I looove, yeah he didn't write a song for me but he did play guitar. And it was just nice, but I would love, you know like, a real, song, written for me.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah well, I don't play real guitar, but think about this, you know, on Guitar Hero Myth? You know on GH Myth? You have to actually co-ordinate the music between all the instwetu- between all the instruments. I mean you can do more than just guitar, mix up, you can mix- definitely blend in the bass, the uh, beat, the rhythm and the dru- and the drums, and actually sing.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh! Cool, um, well I mean it's still not real guitar, but I mean,I guess? If you're compensating for something, but if you wanna do that for me I'd appreciate it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I would be happy to do that for you. And maybe, and maybe, nd maybe then I can show you, like you know, I can be just as good at Guitar Hero as a real guitar.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I- I don't know that that's possible but I'll give it a chance. So um, what else is on your mind?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ok, let me see what else is on my mind, hm, oh, well talking further about my walking in addition to my lap around the neighborhood I, my family and I, my family took their weekly trip to IHOP and uh, dropped me off at the mall. I walked about ffive laps- I walked about five laps round the mall.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: And I also uh, walked into like Sears, to like the female half of [unintelligible] because it's divided into two halves, one guy half, one female half. And the guy have is mo- is filled with all the knick-knacks and whatnot and wha the fema- oh that's right you've been there!

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah!

[both laugh.]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, and JC Penny, and I walked into there, and into those places as well, y'know, shopping to see if they had any, uh, see what they had in the sports bras. And, you know, they don't have much, and they always sell them as individual bras, and they're pretty getting pricy.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, they, usually are.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah BLK just doesn't have any sports bras at all.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh! Really?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah! I looked, I looked all over the bra creation over- over on that side of BLK; No sports bras to be found.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, well I don't know, I don't usually go there to get my, uh, bras. I go there, I go to like Victoria's Secret, and like, Fredrick's and stuff.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hm. Ok, yeah because you like to wear fancy bras.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, that and they're just comfortable, and supportive, and they're nice quality.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, well that's your opinion and I respect that. Well y'know, just to let you know that the, uh, the sports bra I'm wearing, which came in the three pack, Fruit of the Loom brand, and uh, some cotton, with uh, I forget what the band's made oof? Uh but anyway they feel, anyway these feel uh, bu, uh anyway these feel, uh this feels really comfortable for me. I mean like, you know, yy'know if you wanna try it, I cou- that's, that's good I can encourage that.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, cool.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Of course you definitely can with a multi-pack, you know, three packs for like ten dollars. Least there, least there still, one, o-, still one over here still sells them for that price, three for ten.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh I mean, uh, wash them.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm sorry, what?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You don't have to buy tons of them, you could just wash them. Like, I mean, unless you're doing it for style there's no reason to have a lot of them.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I currently have, I currently have six, but I understand from my mom that I could wear uh, bra three underwear, a bra or underwear for three days, then switch over to the new ones.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, um, also, with those things, I know you've never used them before, but you need to, you know, let them air out every night and, um, you know, um, I at [<font color="#0033FF">Chris: "Y-yeah."] least rinse mine with you know a little bit of spray cleanser. You know maybe some Febreeze, maybe, anything. But I mean I also wear perfume and stuff.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK so wait a minute, uh, spray what with Febreeze?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, use some Febreeze. That would work.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, so wait a minute, you're talking about spraying the bra with Febreeze?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Of course, you don't put that on your skin.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [laugh] OK, I just wanted to make sure I understood... Mmkay, Febreeze. Yeah, okay, well, I'm not sure we have any Febreeze in the bathroom, but you know, next chance I get I will definitely get some Febreeze.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, cool. Awesome. Like they have different scents now that smell really good.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK, what do you recommend, personally?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [interrupting] I like the lavender one, I love that one the most. It's one of the purple ones. There's a spring one and then there's a lavender one.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I like lavender scent.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh cool.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I have smelled lavender before and it does smell good.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: 'Kay...that's good. 'T's very good. We've found some common ground there, we both like lavender.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [little laugh] It's not my favorite but it is one of them.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmkay, one of them. OK, what is your top favorite scent?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Um...Probably...Either like a sandalwood amber thing, or vanilla.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Vanilla is, vanilla is good. What's the other one you said, sandal with amber?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Sandalwood with amber.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh. An-An. I'm sorry, andalwood?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Sandalwood.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh OK.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You know like sandals you wear on your feet? Yeah.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ohhh, sandalwood, yeah, OK. Sandalwood with amber. OK.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, I-I actually, um I have lots of different perfumes and I mix them and I layer them, but I make sure their scents all correspond.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Wow you uh, you mix your own perfumes. [little laugh]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: That's pretty, that's, that's very good, I mean uh...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: That way when one wears off I've got another thing, it's really nice. But I mean men don't wear perfume, they wear like cologne and body spray and stuff.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, you know, speaking of mixing things- mixing things up, I often like to uh mix things up, I often like to, uh, mix things up, like, you know, if I'm at my country club ??? Golden Corral, I, I sometimes like to mix things and, you know, mix food togeth-, mix different foods, like y'know, like a different combination of vegetables. OK, or, y'know, aside from a side but I mean like you know, maybe green beans, and corn, and cook-cooked carrots, whatever. Whatever they have there. Or you know, here's a fun, here's a fun thing you could try: Mixing any, mixing-mixing any cooked vegtables in mashed potatoes.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I, I don't really like to mix my food. I'm just like that. I don't like cooked carrots either I think they're gross. I mean but I mean it's not the same as mixing bodysprays- but I see what you're getting from. Like, um, I, I know people who do that all the time, but you know, I like to eat all my stuff individually. Unless it DOES go together.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. I hear ya, that's good. Mmm. Mmkay. OK, well you know, just wanted to let you know, I was just reading an article about Seth MacFarlane, in, uh, this month's Playboy. You know, just talking about, uh, Fam- Just talking about Family Guy you know. You know the show was on air about, about ten years ago since it first aired just after Superbowl 33? And Seth MacFarlane just calls that ga-ns and just calls that, call that game boring.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [Sounds bored] Oh, really.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. He just calls the game boring, but, you know, and then it just--[mutters, as though reading off notecards] ah shoot, I mean, whaddya say about f-Family Guy and um...yeah I haven't s-, well maybe I was just pretty much said that, but yeah. [stops muttering] Yeah, he was prepped on the show, on the show was gonna be huge, and then...and then apparently had gotten huge numbers a-after that. Yeah, and y'know, and [unintelligible] quotes he blames Fox a little bit for-uh, it's-uh pop-, it's viewer downfall when they moved it from Sunday to Thurday night. I'm inclined to agree with him on that, especially since, y'know, he- he does quo- he is quoted as saying, y'know, y'know Family Guy was up against Friends, Survivor, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? At the height of it's popularity. And among other things, like, uh, the moon landing, the olympics and the Kennedy Assassination and 9/11.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [Not paying attention to this absolute absurdity]Uh huh.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah anyway, I was just starting to read the, uh, articles, y'know between Playboy's questions and McFarlane answers, And there's a fun like, uh, there's, there's this fun, uh rendition art, that, McFarlane did, of everybody but Brian, and I think a, I think a recreation of uh, Hugh, in Playboy outfits, so you know [Meg_Griffin|Meg], Stewie, Louis and Chris, and Peter are in their Playboy bikinis and, and uh, panty hose,and Brian's just, lookin at em all, and there's this guy that looks like Hugh Hefner, except he's wear- except he has black hair. And Meg is stuffing her bra, with tissue.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well I mean, um, I- I really don't know a lot about Family Guy because I stopped watching because I have work and school, but didn't they confirm that Stewie's gay, like, not too long ago?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Well, yes um, prob- um, probably a little bit, sorry I have to go, I have beem- I have to juggle a little bit here, [sigh] um, yeah, in this, in this uh, article here in Playboy, McFarlane is quoted as saying "Ultimately, Stewie will either be gay, or be a very unhappy, repressed heterosexual".

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I guess that means he's gay.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Well, there you ar- I guess, there you are, then.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Because, you know, repressed

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, but of course it also explains, why he's so hell bent on killing Louis, he has a lot of "aggression that comes from uncertainty about his orientation." Quoting Seth McFarlane in this article here.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, if you wanna read- if you wanna read the article for yourself, it's the September '09 issue of Playboy. Picturing this, with this picture of, uh, I think, I think this girl is Heidi Montag, this, uh, hot bleach blonde, but she's like, she's covered in dirt and grime with the playboy symbol, uh, cleaned out, on her, uh, belly. The, uh, there a, there a, they're advertising heavily on the, uh, "Glorious Bastards" movie with, uh, Quentin Terentino.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Right, well y'know, wouldn't it be wrong if you told me to go buy a Playboy? Because I mean I thought you didn't- I don't know, you know, it's just a joke. Because you don't like gay people and a girl buying a Playboy.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I know, you'd better go buy a Playgirl, right?

[both laugh]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Uh, I don't know, I don't really go into those magazines, you know it's kind of against my religion.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, ok, but, y'know, I guess you could Google the article to see if you can find if somebody, uh, uploaded the, uh, quotes, quo-quo-quotes and all that. Um, yeah a girl buying a Playboy, let me think about that a moment. Um, yeah, I mean I guess it's ok, because, y'know you have, you also have like these funny little comics in there, where they think of the, or they mock about, like, you know the guy's obsession over the women, so like you know you can see a little bit of the, uh, dude's thing, haha, in there-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Are you looking?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No, I'm not looking.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well how did you know?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Eh, I dunno, I'm just, I'm, no, y'know, I'm just-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: It's ok to be curious, it doesn't mean you're gay or anything if you just wanna look, you know compare or anything.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: N-no, I'm not, no, I'm not looking, I'm not comparing or anything. I was just remembering this one guy, oh yeah, here he is you can google this guy, it's, uh, [unintelligible] they just constantly have this, uh, older guy, who's hittin on, who's tryna hit on the ladies. He's like a fat little guy, he's just like a chubby little guy. And the comic's name is Meeting Myths[?]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, ok.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: And aside from those comics, those uh, comic panels, you see in there they also have interviews- they also- they also interview other guys, in there, putting em uh, putting en in a good light. Even so- even pictures in there of those guys that, uh, a woman would most appreciate.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, like what?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh, let me see if I can find something, let me find some- find, find a good article in here, I'm flip over- flip over to the table of contents. Hm, let me just look in here... I'm just looking over here at the table of contents in the issue of September that I was looking at. Hm, let's see... hm, features... hm, I think I'm gonna look on page, 2. Hm. Hm [more stressed] Ok well I was looking right in the table of contents, uh, I did- I did find another article where you see these pictures, you see the pictures of guys I'm sure you would enjoy, uh, currently there's one, there's some on uh, page 82, under fashion, classic style. But anyway, they interview guys as well as- in the- in the Playboy magazine.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I guess, but, remember like I said, you know, it, it's kind of against my religion, like, I just don't feel it's right.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hmkay, well, I'm not forcing you to. Because I'm sure you'd find...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well we can probably change the subject.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ok, let me just finish my thought, though, you can still Google the, the uh, article, and I'm sure somebody, probably already has- probably already put it up on the internet, with all the quotes, and everything.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Maybe.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, yeah Seth McFarlane interview, Playboy, that's what I'd put in Google.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Ok, that's great.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Alright, hm, let me see, anything else in my head... hm, oh yeah, well, actually y'know there is something else I'll, let you know about, I was just talking to Kim, y'know, she just encouraged me to start watching the news more. So...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well that's good.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: So I'll probably start watching NBC 29 news, at noon and eleven, probably.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Ok well, um, so um, how about Sonichu? How's that going?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh yeah, it's going, you know, I'm drawing and colouring, I'm just about done for what I currently have done for the pages, I'll probably be scan- I'll probably be scanning those in later this week.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: What pages?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, um, I'm currently, I currently have- I'm up to page 62 in the book now.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Ok.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I, and uh, and I'm still- and I'm still contemplating about uh, printing out the uh, pa-, copies of my- copies of my book, to send to the comic book companies, and one to send out to the, uh, library of congress, I mean like because I'm thinking now, uh, now I have a better understanding of what to send in I might just, uh, might just try again online, after I just, I mean I'll practice on the paper form I have here, and then I'll go online and fill out the, uh, re-fill it out there. And then uh, y'know, and then, uh, and then after they let me know to actually send it in I could have, I could absolutely have a thing to send in, I have a better understanding of what to send in now.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Ok.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: After reading the- after reading their circulars I asked for. I should have asked for them sooner! I didn't think of it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, when you finish a comic, I can't wait for the audiobook version, I think they're funny.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: ...You mean Vivian's audiobooks?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah! I love those, I'm so glad you showed them to me.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Stress pause] Yeah, I never authorized those audiobooks.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, I think she did a great job. I think you should thank her, I mean, they're AWESOME.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hm.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: And it's like free publicity.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Mmm. Yeah... Ahhh, but still, so many things she's done against me.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Like what? I mean, I didn't see anything bad.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK, well, how about that folder of her art I sent ya... The, uh, few comic pages where she mocked about me and my sw-, my early days in my Sweetheart Search, like you know... You know, it's-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: It's a parody, if you're gonna be famous you're gonna get parodies. I think it's great to go ahead and get them out of the way.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah but, still you know-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Just because somebody does a parody, doesn't mean that they hate you or anything, it's just, you know, it's publicity, come on. You've got to laugh at these things or else you're never gonna make it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hm. OK.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean, it's flattering. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hm. OK, but you know I'm talking about the, uh, ones where she's got the Misdreavus in there with her. The Pokemon.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Still. You should just go with it, and be like, "Thank you for the free publicity." be, y'know- This is your show, so run it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh, "This is my show so want it"?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So RUN it. Run it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Uh...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Besides, it opens it up to more people. I mean if you don't want her to do it, you should make your own audiobooks. You should narrate them yourself.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hm. Yeah. I thought about that, but it's like you know... I'd ra-, I'd rather actually have a-, my, a woman to read the, uh, Rosechu parts. But unfortunately I don't have a-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I'd be happy to help. I can give you recordings.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Silence]

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But you know I'm really busy so I probably wouldn't be able to for a long, long time.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah... Okay, well I appreciate the offer. And I'll think about that further. But I think, but I was hoping, like you know, I could actually let my sweetheart do it, but like, unfortunately I just been having... the, uh...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh then I think you should wait, that's a good idea.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Yeah, it's... still so much, still a lot for me, still a lot of things for me to think. Umm... Yeah, but also, uh, cuz also, I think I have informed you about Vivian Gee being Clyde Cash's cousin.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But that doesn't mean anything.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Clyde Cash was a major troll.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: But, that doesn't mean SHE is.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah... Okay. But still you know, Clyde Cash, he was also the one, he was also the first guy that actually got into my, that actually hacked into my original hosting account on Tripod. And then the following one on-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: How did he do it?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: He tried to... to turn the, turn the website around and make it look, make it look like, make it mock ME. He-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean how did he figure out your passwords and logins and stuff, did he hack it?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: How did he hack it?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: [Annoyed] I don't know how he hacked it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Did you use an easy-to-guess password?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No, I did not use an easy password. I don't even remember what the password was, now.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, OK.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah but anyways, then I, then I tried to like, then I tried using Yahoo!... I think it was. Or maybe it was something else. I don't know, but anyway then he got in, but then he hacked into that as well, even on Godaddy, even on my last attempt at, even on the last attempt at on Godaddy.com being the web host, he got into that as well. And then I-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Wow, he sounds very talented!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Ugh... But anyway, you know, I, anyway, after I got my Godaddy account back I just basically pulled the plug on the, pulled the plug on the whole Sonichu site thing. And then supposedly he ki-, and then, supposedly he killed himself. So I just assumed-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I just assumed that he's been dead for the few months. I think I sent you Vivian's ad-, I think I sent you Vivian's address, if you wanna talk to her and verify.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: That's... That's, um... I don't know what to say about that.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Well you know, you could think, you know, no rush, you could think about that further. Um... Shoot, what was I gonna say? Oh yeah, yeah, I just assumed that, I just, uh, assumed that he's been dead the whole time and GLAD that he's been dead.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Uh...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Even Vivian, even, even Vivian agreed about, even agreed on him being dead.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Then I guess he is, or... I don't know.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: It's a really bad topic.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. It was a bad topic. But you know, I mean like you know, I had to recall, cuz you know...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean it's so sad when someone kills themselves.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, it was just, it was just to verify the whole troll-, the trolling situation there. From him, and... you know and also like, you know, Vivian did write a book and she sent me a copy of it. I think it was called "The Girl Who Ruled The World". Uhhh, don't tell Vivian, but I never actually read the book. Even though I told, even though I told her, even though I lied to her and told her that I read it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You shouldn't lie, that's horrible! What if it's a really good book? I mean, didn't we talking about this before? Why would you do that?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Hm... It was like, uh, tryin'... I was like, I dunno. I don't remember. It was in the conversation, we were just talkin', and then you know... Yeah, I just, I just did not feel comfortable with saying like, you know, "Oh, I haven't read it", and then she would be encouraging me to read it, but anyway, then anyway, uh, currently the uh, book is on loan to Rocky. She hasn't given it back to me yet, and she's just had an appendix operation. She's read, uh, she's read, uh, a whole chunk of the book, and it's mostly mockery, mockery against me anyway. Mockery against me and my Sonichu characters.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, like I said, it's probably just free publicity. So, I think I mentioned before I wanted to read it, but you should read it first. You have to read it before you judge it, I'm pretty sure we talked about this.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah we're talkin' about, we're talkin' about Vivian's book, right?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK. Yeah after I get it back from Rocky I'll be sure to read it.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You should probably get it back very soon.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. M'kay. Alright, so... Yeah, you did not have any classes today, so you just had work?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yes. I worked and studied.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK, that's good, did you have a good, you had a good day, I guess?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well, it was work, you know, so... I just worked.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah... Puttin' a little more bread on your own table for yourself.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Mm-hm.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Very commendable.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So uh, how's your job search going besides, uh... besides Target?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I got another application to uh, go back online and fill in. But... But yeah, you know, at least I'm making, but yeah, you know, I'm making progress. Eventually, I'll get, eventually... You know, I'll get the message saying like you know, "Yeah you're hired, come in for the in, or, come in for the interview." <font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Hm.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You should, uh, call in and ask.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You know, make sure they got the application.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah that's a good idea, OK. Yeah. Alright I will do that, I will make calls and find out for certain.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, you know, show them you're interested.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Especially, especially since I know well, I know very well that I can make $980 a month without it affecting my Social.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, you're pretty lucky.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Oh by the way, uh... Yeah I'll let you know, I'll probably let you, I'll probably let you know about this-- I wrote up my list of questions to, uh, my Doctor McGovern... Uh, you know, things that uh, you and me and Kim, we talked about a little bit. Um, I wrote 'em out in a letter, but unfortunately I was gonna deliver it today, but the office was closed for Labor Day, so...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Mm-hm?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, considering my next, considering my next trip downtown would be Wednesday for the yoga session, I'll drop it off on Wednesday.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh cool, are you gonna send me the questions?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Oh, sure, I'll get- I dunno, would you like me to?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Um... Sure, why not?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Well-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I just thought that was why you mentioned it.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Well, no, I mean, I just, I'm just bringin' it up as like, you know, just... You know, just lettin' you know that I'm gonna be inquiring about all that with, with my doctor, sure. Anyway let me, anyway, I, anyway... anyway, basically currently it's five questions, uh... First one is about the, uh, gym membership discount.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Mm-hm...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: And then the second one's a question about, uh, whether I should get back on the Paroxetine or not. But I mean, I don't, I mean, I think I've been OK with, off, off it, you know. I feel like I've been better, but it's like, uhh... I felt more, I feel a little bit more vulnerable to stress, but with uh, practicing the stress ma-, more, with more practicing the uh, stress-management techniques, I feel like I'm about starting to regain emotional control over that.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So that was your anti-depressant?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: The, uh, Paxil originally, but then I switched over to Paroxetine... Yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, well I mean, are you not taking it anymore, 'cause I mean...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah I have not been taking it for a month.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well I mean if you're so stressed all the time then maybe you should. I mean, that should be up to your doctor, you should ask him that.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. Alright... And then I asked, and then I asked him further about the uh, Lipitor... You know... Uh... I don't remember the question, I've already sealed the envelope. And it was just, it was just... And I have it on my, I have it, I have it on my bed in front of me, and... Hm. I guess I could, I guess I, I guess I can rip it open and send you the questions, anyway. But I'm just lettin' you know in a nutshell.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: And then like you know, and then the fourth and fifth questions are about my, uh, penis. Number four being about like, you know, whether it should be level, or, or, or, you know, if bent is normal. Or if like you know, if there's a way of straightening it, of leveling it out. And then the second question is about like, you know, getting a prescription to a penis extension medication pill... That sort of thing.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [Awkward pause] OK.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yep. [Another awkward pause, as Chris prepares to ask what he's always wanted to ask.] Ahh... OK, I'll just go ahead and get it out of the way - How BIG was Chris's penis?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: WHAT??!? What??

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, I mean, I just, I asked you, I just asked you, how big was Chris's penis?

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [Laughing] That's a really odd question for you to ask me... Um, but I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you, It was definitely, um, a little around nine inches.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK, now I, OK, shh... I mean, REALLY? Nine inches??

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah... You know, sometimes it hurt, but you know, it was good, and it was thick.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Shoot, mine only gets, like, six to seven inches... <font color="#FF0066">Kacey: [Laughing] I'm sorry, it's just a weird question...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I mean, I just felt like I had to know.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I mean... OK... Why do you need to know? I mean, I thought you weren't interested in other people's penises, but just tell me, why'd you need to know?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I mean like, who was the, uh... supposed, in that sense, who was the bigger man, there.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah, I guess he won that. But I just, I don't, OK... I mean, it was just nine, thick, and straight. It was there...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK. Well like, you know, while I'm feeling discomfort in that...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: You're the one who asked about how he rocked my world with it!

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Well I did not, I did not necessarily ask how he rocked your world with it, I was just asking how big it was.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I- Well, I mean, come on... I mean you opened that up.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, OK, but it's like you know... Alright, I just pretty much established this with Kim, but... I definitely have an insecurity... and, and that's one of my insecurities, like you know, in comparison to other guys... Yeah.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: So you don't like other people's penises, but you want to hear about them so you can compare yourself to them?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No I-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I don't do that with, like, women's breasts.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: No, actually this is the first time I've asked that question, but it's like, you know, I just felt like I had to know.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Oh, OK, well, I mean, why?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, cuz it's like, you know, I'm def-... It just makes me think that like, you know, I have been con-, I have been on and off and on about like, you know, increasing the size of mine... But I, and then, it's just like you know, I wasn't sure if the, uh, til, it, I, I mean... For about two separate months, I had been, uh, had taken Extenze. But yeah I just hadn't, I just hadn't seen a big difference. Except for like, you know, just aft-, just after taking it, it definitely showed a maximum of seven inches. Erect. Oh by the way I, by the way, actually measuring it, it's like four inches limp.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: ...OK. I don't know... OK.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah but anyway, yeah-

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: I just thought the only way to make a big difference is to actually get surgery, but...

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I mean haven't you, I mean haven't you seen the, uh, I mean surely, surely you've heard of the penis extension pills.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Yeah but I thought they weren't supposed to work. I mean, most of them aren't even approved by the FDA and stuff. But I mean, they also say that losing weight helps, they say uh... Every 20 or 30 pounds of fat that you take away, an inch comes back. I don't know if that's true or not, that's probably a rumor.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah, it does sound like a rumor.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Hey, no harm in trying, right?

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah... At least I'm starting a daily regimen of exercising. And I'm taking the appropriate steps, and I'm losing my Buddha Belly...

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: Well that's good.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: Yeah. OK, I'd just hate to end our conversation, end our conversation on such a note, cuz you know, my mind's running, my mind's running blank right now.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, well um... I'll go ahead and talk to you, I guess, tomorrow. Unless you wanna ask any more questions about Chris's penis, I guess. [Laughs]

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: I'm not gonna ask any more questions that. [Laughs] Okay. Alright, well I- OK, well yeah, good laugh, good laugh, that's a way to end a good, end a conversation well. OK. Alright well, I'll let you go and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

<font color="#FF0066">Kacey: OK, alright, bye.

<font color="#0033FF">Chris: OK, yeah alright, bye-bye.