CWCki - User contributions [en]

Patti Chandler

2018-05-21T12:49:25Z

AcidHues: /* See also */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Quote|My- Patti will- the spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! she will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|respecting his deceased pet.]]}}

{{infobox
| title = Patti Chandler
| image = [[Image:0054-Patti2.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = Patti Chandler
|label3 = Date of Birth
|data3 = [[1988|17 March 1988]] (as reported by Chris)
|label4 = Date of Death
|data4 = [[June 2006|27 June 2006]] (aged {{Age|1988|3|17|2006|6|27}})
|label5 = Gender
|data5 = Female
|label6 = Breed
|data6 = [[Wikipedia:Beagle|Beagle]]-[[Wikipedia:Spitz|spitz]] mix
|label7 = Owners
|data7 = [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]] [[Chris]]
}}

[[File:PattiAbomination.png|thumb|250px|Patti today.]]
'''Patti Chandler''' (17 March [[1988]] - 27 [[June 2006]]) was [[Chris]]'s childhood dog, a [[Wikipedia:Beagle|beagle]]-[[Wikipedia:Spitz|spitz]] mix who was put down in [[2006]].<ref name="father call">[[Father Call]]</ref> As can be seen in Patti's eulogy below, Chris reports that her birthdate was 17 March 1988. It should be noted though that in an email Chris sent to [[The Wallflower]] on 28 [[February 2010]], he wrote that he learned what Patti's birthdate was after a veterinarian determined it for him.<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 2]]</ref> It is doubtful that a veterinarian can determine the precise date in which a dog was born, making the birth date Chris reports as dubious. If it's even roughly accurate though, Patti lived a very long life for a dog.

As Chris tells in Patti's eulogy, he picked her up as a puppy from a litter at the house of his [[Aunt Corrina]]. On September 1992, Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> This led to him being separated from Patti for 3 years, as Barbara did not accompany her husband and son, but rather stayed in the Chandlers old home along with the pets. Only in early 1996 did Barbara move to Chesterfield along with Patti and the rest of the family's pets.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

Chris brought Patti back to life in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' 6]] as [[Patti-Chan]], where she somehow gained the ability to walk, talk, and apply for [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] in [[CWCville]].

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Flying Dutchman|Flying Dutchman]], who was cursed to roam the seven seas forever, Patti is cursed to wander in CWCville as she is not allowed to rest in peace.

There is not a single known picture of Patti indoors, suggesting that she was just left in her pen in the backyard all the time. According to Chris, her wood-and-plastic doghouse weighed between "5-10 tons".<ref name="father call"/> While a normal person might say something like that figuratively to represent the emotional weight it would take to move the home of a deceased pet for the last time, Chris acts as though he [[11042009 51 50|honestly believes that's how much it weighs]].

When confronted about his [[Chris and remorse|insensitivity]], or when someone tries to point out that he has never experienced any substantial hardships<ref name="father call"/>, Chris is always quick to point out that he experienced the loss of Patti. He even mentions Patti's death over the death of his Aunt Corina (who gave Patti to him in the first place). Chris seems to only mention his aunt as an afterthought when the comparison between someone losing a [[Ryan Cash|close family member]] and Chris losing his dog is scoffed at.

It is entirely possible that Patti was the only life form to ever love Chris out of anything other than obligation. Patti was also probably the only acquaintance with which Chris has ever had very much in common. Not because they shared [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|a mystical bond between man and beast]], brought about through the wondrous unexplained mysteries of [[autism]], but because they were both animals driven by brute instinct with no level of higher comprehension whatsoever.

According to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|a video from January 2010]], Patti now feasts on human souls. While this may seem to be at odds with the canon of the Sonichu comics, it makes perfect sense if you consider the distinct possibility that CWCville ''is'' Hell.

==Eulogy for Patti, as written by Chris==
<blockquote>
 Patti Chandler
 March 17, [[1980s#1988|1988]] to June 27, [[2006]]

 Eulogy written by Christian Weston Chandler, June 27, 2006
[[Image:091-PattiMemory.jpg|thumb|Patti, you sweet, unlucky dog.]]
 My family, [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|furry]] friends, (anyone else present), we are gathered here today to pay our last respects and wishes to our dearly beloved beagle/spitz, Patti, who has departed from our world here on earth to a [[CWCville|doggy heaven where she will be happier]], because she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up there. And she will often look down upon her beloved family, me, Christian Chandler, my mother, [[Barbara Chandler]], and my father [[Bob Chandler|Robert Chandler]], and the [[Chandler Cats|cats]] who have grown fond of Patti.

 I will always remember Patti for all the lovely memories she has shared with me from:
 -When I picked her out of the litter at my [[Aunt Corrina|Aunt Corina's]] house in Redoak, Virginia.
 -The many walks I have shared with her around this neighborhood, as well as the neighborhood in the [[Chris's_homes#Newberry_Towne_Subdivision|Newberry Towne subdivision in Richmond, Virginia]].
 -The time I watched my old best friend, [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]], take Patti by her front paws and danced a bit.
 -The times I've watched her stand on her hind legs and then rewarded her with a biscuit bone.
 -The time I took my camera to her pen and took this lovely picture of her and me, and I made a big deal how she'll be like a movie dog star.
 -The times I've just sat with her in the yard and petted her head. I've always given her a "Bally-Scratch" where I stroke her head with all five fingers like as if I was gently squeezing a rubber ball.
 -The many times I've fed her a can of food and a cup full of dry food, and refilled her bucket with fresh water so she can drink it and wash her face.
 -There was also the one time I saw her resting on top of her doghouse (not on her back like Snoopy).
 -[[Wikipedia:Border collie|I've often wondered why between both her ears, why one was bent and the other was straight like an arrowhead]].

 When Patti was brought to the vet on that [[Chris and English|faithful]] day, I was distraught with fright and concern for her health. I stayed with her during her final moments with a hand on her head and a tear in my eye. When my mother was brought the paper that gave the doctor permission to send her on her way, I didn't want her to be the one to sign it. I raised Patti since she was a six-week old pup, and I wanted to take the strain for signing the one-way ticket (it was hard for me, but it was for the best). So I signed that paper, with a crying [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] face saying, "We love you, Patti." After that, I gave her my final pets, hug, hand-to-paw hold, eye-contact, ear-rub, cheek-to-fur rub, and I sadly waved her for the final time, and I said, "Good Bye, Patti, I Love You." As I stood outside, I heard Patti's last barks saying, "I will always love you, Chris. Thank You."

 But we all must move on with our lives with our beloved lucky mutt in our hearts and in our memories. So, Patti, may your old dog house and surrounding flowers forever memorialize your blessed heart, your barks at the stars and strangers, and your loyal love that you have blessed upon me and my family and friends. Bark on, and rest in peace, our beloved lucky Patti.<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2006#September]]</ref></blockquote>

Take note that Chris actually shoehorned [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in his dog's eulogy.

==Current activity==
Not content with an eternity of biscuit bones and "bally-scratches" in doggy heaven, Patti has apparently taken time out of being dead to [[Dreams#The Patti-chan dream|assure her former master]] of her peaceful afterlife in a dream. Also, Chris has averred that her vengeful spirit will seek out [[Alec Benson Leary]] and his cohorts for allegedly besmirching her memory and proceed to, in no particular order, give them nightmares, consume their souls and kill them. Yet, as always, Chris still thinks of himself as a [[Chris and anger|kindhearted]], [[Chris and religion|Christian]] individual.

Patti's physical remains rest underneath her 10-ton doghouse in the Chandlers' backyard. The notion of exhuming and desecrating her bones has become a popular running joke among trolls, to the point that Chris, in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|a September 2010 YouTube video]], took the time to fiercely deny any rumors that the corpse of his dog was anywhere except where he had buried it.

Ironically, in a video created about a year after that one, Chris pretended (while dressed as a hooker) to [[It's not that cold|dig up Patti]] and repurpose her as a coat. It seems that not only is Patti an unholy weapon of soul-sucking revenge, but a snuggly, warm coat, too.

The doghouse still stands as of April 2015.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0050-Patti5.jpg|Patti relaxing.
Image:0051-Patti6.jpg
Image:0052-Patti.JPG|Patti full of [[stress]]
Image:0053-Patti1.jpg|Although Patti lived in a cage outside, it was at least 1,000 times better than the disaster zone called the Chandler house.
Image:0054-Patti2.jpg|Patti will devour your soul!
Image:0055-Patti3.jpg
Image:0056-CWCPatti2.jpg|Even Patti is ashamed by Chris's [[chris and fashion|get-up]]
Image:0719-PattisDoghouse.JPG|Can you dig it?
Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|"That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons."
Image:ModNation PattiChan.jpg|Her [[Patti-chan|horrendous furfag alter ego]] as seen in [[ModNation Racers]].
Image:Itj5aFp.jpg|The doghouse in [[April 2015]] Also said to have been "at least, like, five-- ten tons" in weight according to the [[Father Call]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and death]]
*[[Patti-Chan]]
*[[Clover and Snoopy]]
*[[Pollo]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti Patti's entry on CWCipedia]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Patti}}
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Pets]]

May 2018

2018-05-21T12:45:28Z

AcidHues: /* Highlights */

[[File:0518.jpg|thumb|Chris in May 2018]]
{{ongoing}}

'''May''' is the fifth month of [[2018]].

==Videos==
*[[Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!]]
*[[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE]]
*[[SERIOUSLY, BUY THE TOYS FROM ME NOW, PLEASE!]]
*[[Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!]]
*[[May 2018 Paid Video Requests]]
*[[I Am Sick of the HATE!!! (I could use a break)]]
==Highlights==
*1 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Mad at Facebook friends|gets mad on Facebook]], blocking two people for making fun of him and correcting another for deadnaming him.
*2 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Whining about Patreon backers reducing pledges|whines about his Patreon backers reducing their pledges]] and offers an extra Sonichu license plate on [[eBay]].
*4 May - Chris uploads [[Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!]] to apologize for the lack of progress on Sonichu and announces an exclusive comic to his [[Patreon|Patreon backers]] featuring himself, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel Rosechu]]. He also [[May 2018 social media posts#Begging for sales money to ship books|begs for sales money, allegedly to afford shipping out books]], even though he had gotten $450 from Patreon donors two days prior and made thousands of dollars from eBay sales/gifts in the previous month. Finally, after [[Kenneth Erwin Englehardt]] had [[May 2018 social media posts#Kenneth Englehardt BTFO|enough of Chris's rudeness and walked away from his Facebook]], he quickly backpedals, tweeting to Chris instead.
*5 May - Chris confirms that his recent sweethearts are [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan]] when he uploads a preview of a special wedding story for [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]]. He [[May 2018 social media posts#Last six months, imminent financial ruin|puts out an ambiguous statement]] that something bad happened to him during the last six months and that, as a result, his finances are the worst they've ever been.
*7 May - Upset at how he was [[May_2018_social_media_posts#Turning_back_on_CWCProtectSquad|banned from Anytime Fitness]], Chris turns his back on the [[CWCProtectSquad]].
*8 May - [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!|Barb and Chris beg in multiple videos]] for mortgage payment money, saying they must pay tomorrow and are at risk of foreclosure if they do not, and Chris states that something happened to him over the last six months which caused him to lose a lot of money. He slashes prices on eBay and [[2018 Sales Listings#Celebrity Visit From Christine Weston Chandler|offers a celebrity visit from himself]] for $500. He also continues his court visit for the [[Chris and the Law#2018|Trespass After Forbidden charge]], ending with a continuance issued for 5 June.
*9 May - Chris [[Financhu Crisis#May '18|scrounges up the money]] to make the mortgage payment, blames the mortgage company for being "money-gouging assholes."
*10 May - Chris has [[May 2018 social media posts#Meltdown on Twitter|a temper tantrum on Twitter]] and [[I Am Sick of the HATE!!! (I could use a break)|video]]. Barb [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|appears in two paid request videos]].
*13 May - For Mother's Day, [[May 2018 social media posts#Mother's day drawings|Chris makes two drawings of himself holding hands with his CWCville counterpart]], saying that he is her mother. He notes that the CWCville Christine is touching his butt.
*15 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Got married|changes his Facebook status to say that he is married]] and comments that it is to [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan]], saying it's fine because he's half-Pokémon. He unmasks [[CWCProtectSquad#Amy|LittleAmychan]], posting [[May 2018 social media posts#Is LittleAmychan a troll?|a video she had sent him privately over suspicion that she is a troll]]. He [[May 2018 social media posts#Holding Sonichu books hostage|tries to guilt his patrons]] into raising money for him to get the books they already paid for shipped faster.
* 16 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Michael Hirtes BTFO|calls out]] [[Michael Hirtes]] over his constant [[ween]]ing.
* 17 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Sorbet is Missing|posts]] that [[Sorbet]] has gone missing for the past week.
* 20 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Pollo is dead|posts]] that [[Pollo]] has died due to natural causes

{{timeline}}

May 2018 social media posts

2018-05-21T12:40:24Z

AcidHues:

{{Ongoing}}
This page is an archive of Chris's major social media posts during [[May 2018]]. Posts are sorted by date. Notable comments will be included and color-coded for reference.

==[[Cryzel Rosechu]] approves of fanart==
1 May

Chris liked two fanart pieces of Cryzel, then commented:

{{quotebox|Totes Kawaii! She and I think so ever so much! ❤️💙💜}}

{{quotebox|She and I say it’s Awesome!}}

Of note is that the tweets are geotagged from Hollymead, Virginia.

==Mad at Facebook friends==
1 May

Chris shared a memory of a post from 2017 about [[The Classic]] shirt and commented:

{{quotebox|One year ago, I fixed and patched up the old shirt; the next, it’s holey bad in the armpits again. LOL}}

Sydnee Wagner joked:

{{quoteboxorange|This is like a montage out of nightmare on elm street. Freddy gets his sweater back.}}

Chris was displeased:

{{quotebox|I am Not a Monster.}}

Sydnee replied:

{{quoteboxorange|Are you sure? You ran someone over.}}

Mellanie Chafe chimed in:

{{quoteboxred|She ran someone over!?}}

Sydnee Wagner linked to this website's article:

{{quoteboxorange|https://sonichu.com/cwcki/28_October_2011}}

Chris shot back:

{{quotebox|You are now Blocked. Before continuing to insult me whenever possible you should consider [[Anytime Fitness|Going to the Gym]] Yourself, as I feel YOU could stand to Lose Some Weight!}}

The drama continued [[April 2018 social media posts#I know people are worried|on another Facebook post]], where Chris became annoyed at someone for using his pre-transition name:

On Facebook's comment section:

Jackie Mei:

{{quoteboxyellow| Stay strong Chris!}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Christine*}}

Jackie Mei:

{{quoteboxyellow|Sorry}}

Mellanie Chafe:

{{quoteboxred|my moms name is Christine. Sometimes people call her Chris.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|I'm neutral about people calling me "Chris" or "Christine" but I would like if you Good People would respect my chosen name.}}

Mellanie Chafe:

{{quoteboxred|I think people respect it.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|You should see my inbox. There is Much Hate coming my way from all corners of the internet.}}

Mellanie Chafe:

{{quoteboxred|well, that sucks, but I guess it comes with being out and about on the internet.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|AND you, Ms. Mellanie - I see you laughing at me for Running Somebody Over. That is not what a FRIEND does! BLOCKED! You covertly insult me, but You and Your Husband could use some Gym Time as well!}}

==Whining about Patreon backers reducing pledges==
1 May

{{quotebox|feeling disappointed.

I'm feeling a mite upset right now. I just checked my Patreon (All Pledges were processed), it WAS at over $900 total about last Sunday, as said on my Patreon Page; but today, I ended up with $450! UGH!!!}}

''Note: At this point, Chris had gone for 95 days without uploading new pages for the Sonichu comic.''

==[[Kenneth Englehardt]] BTFO==
2 May

Englehardt returned to Chris's Facebook and commented on three posts, only for Chris to respond rudely, prompting Englehardt to walk away from him there. However, he couldn't resist staying away and quickly ran to Chris on Twitter.

He first commented on the previous post about Patreon:

{{quoteboxyellow|Did you call customer support to see what was going on?}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|I'm getting back into my Creative Mind after several months of being off my feet. More on THAT situation another time!}}

Englehardt then commented on Chris offering his license plate for sale on [[eBay]]:

{{quoteboxyellow|Hold on a minute, are you sure you have that cleared with the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles?}}

Chris put Englehardt in his place:

{{quotebox|Ken, Please Stop. Or I will unfriend you, Again.}}

Englehardt grovelled:

{{quoteboxyellow|My apologies.}}

Later, on 3 May, Englehardt replied to another commentator on the Patreon update:

Taimur Rahman said:

{{quoteboxgreen| i think its patreon's new donation system, i believe they take 50% of your income to sustain their site. lets boycott patreon.}}

Englehardt replied:

{{quoteboxyellow| 50% ? That's outrageous.}}

Chris shot back:

{{quotebox|You're outrageous, Ken. Stop Commenting. This is your Last Warning. You are welcome to pledge to my Patreon, should you choose.}}

Kengle had enough:

{{quoteboxyellow|Friendships don't work this way Christine. Goodbye.}}

Hours later, on 4 May, Englehardt issued a tweet, tagged to no one at all:

{{quoteboxyellow|I've unfriended you but you are still welcome to follow and comment on my public Facebook page.}}

He then commented on one of Chris's posts:

{{quoteboxyellow|That is true. Your fans are hungry. Well-fed fans are generous fans.}}

...prompting Chris to react with anger:

{{quotebox|What is Your Problem?! Even though this is May the 4th - I repeat - YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!}}

Although by 5 May, tensions had settled back down:

{{quoteboxyellow|Have you considered a project manager? They can help with work layout, publicity, the bottom line and so forth.}}

{{quotebox|If I had even remotely Knew of such a Manager YEARS ago, I seriously would have done that sooner. Eeyup.}}

==Begging for sales money to ship books==
4 May

{{quotebox|I did not mean to show lack of appreciation to those who did give me the money. I was upset, because my plans including catching up (everyone of the past three months gets a copy of @[[Bryanfrogboy|BryanShickley]] ‘s book as well); all of the books have been ordered, and I could not have done it without the sale of my license plate on [[eBay]]. I still need more money for shipping them out in about a week or two, please. So, please buy more from my eBay to help.}}

Bryan Shickley:

{{quoteboxgreen|Please don't drag me into this. I've drawn your OCs more than you at this point and I don't make a percent of a percent of what you make for doing nothing.}}

==How to be delusional==
4 May

@handofgalochio:
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris Chandler always get me wondering: If my creations, the OCs I created over the years, were able to talk to me what would they say? Would they like me? What happens when I'm not thinking about them.

Then, I remember that little thing called reality.}}

{{quotebox|They ARE REAL! And you CAN talk with them in Psychic mind-link. About Every Creator and Artist with characters, and even imaginary friends, all possess this ability to communicate with them in the other worlds and dimensions. You Can Too, @handofgalochio ! Open your mind and ❤️

Anything Is Possible! Go Beyond This World and Reality!}}

==Bryan walks away==
5 May

Following tweets by [[Bryanfrogboy]]...

{{quoteboxyellow|Chris I said this once and if I'm honest it needs to be said again. PLEASE see a doctor about this. Healthy functional humans don't see cartoons everywhere. I know this is hard for you but I just want to see you be a healthy breadwinning adult. }}
{{quoteboxyellow|Just frustrated with Chris berating her fans on patreon for not paying her when she has given her fans next to nothing.

Chris gets all the money for the book<ref>Chris had a deal with Bryan where he would ship out copies of Bryan's book as pledge rewards.</ref> and that’s fine. I don’t want my name on it anymore.

I wouldn’t care so much. My goal this year was to break into comics with real people. 1 Page a day minimum. I just wish Chris could make... 20-30 pages in a year would be something. It’s just sad. I feel weird making more Chris content than she has this year. }}

...and his girlfriend...

{{quoteboxorange|yo crispy western Chandler , I've been quite about this, i want you to not sexualize my boyfriend please.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|@BryanShickley @weta_ink Y'all think I don't read this? My heart is Broken! I was being playful and flirty! You should check out the show "Polyamory" on Showtime. It's on Amazon Prime, too! I hope I didn't make you feel jealousy!}}

==Last six months, imminent financial ruin==
5 May

This was made in a series of four tweets.

{{quotebox|1. Yesterday, I noticed y'all giving me a lot of.. hate. I wish that Everyone in this world would see me for the True Hearted and Loving person I am. You need to understand - I am not [[Chris and reality|delusional and cartoony!]] During the last six months, something Really Bad happened to me and...}}

{{quotebox|2.I can't talk about it on here for Very Specific reasons. As a result of What Happened, our finances are Very Low - the worst is has ever been. I hope that y'all can know what happened in the near future, but for now, I Must Keep Quiet. Please understand that I didn't mean to...}}

{{quotebox|3.Offend anybody or do anything stupid or mean. For those that are Loyal Fans of my Patreon - I have some Great Ideas to make it up to you! It is YOU, my loyal Sonichu and Rosechu fans, that keep me going! Please consider donating to me so that I can fix this Very Bad...}}

{{quotebox|4.Situation that I was forced into. Someone took advantage of me in a Very Serious way. The constant Hate has me feeling lower than dirt and I just want Everybody of the World to know - that I, Christine Weston Chandler, love y'all no matter WHAT!}}

==Never seen poached eggs==
5 May

In response to [https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/992812416030400512 a photo tweeted by Britney Spears of her breakfast]:

{{quotebox|Home-made Egg McMuffin! Awesome. But that’s a Lot Of Butter (or is that Sour Cream?). I like mine with egg whites, white cheddar, no butter at all, and add some guacamole, when I have one. Yum! It is not an everyday thing with me. I would mainly Oatmeal it upnin the morn.}}

==Still delusional==
5 May
{{quotebox|I’m Still Working Out and Speeding Up with Cryzel, and nobody is going to stop me! Yee-Ha! 😊❤️💙💜⭐️⚡️}}

==Our Wedding comic preview==
5 May

{{quotebox|VERY SPECIAL PREVIEW ONLY For Patrons!}}

He uploaded previews for [[Sonichu 16]]'s Our Wedding episode, then posted to Patreon:

{{quotebox|It will be started very soon, and will be uploaded for the Paying Patrons very soon, and will be included in be back of Sonichu 16. Thank You. (It is a Separate Comic, aside from the pages I just uploaded)}}

He replied to a fan who pointed out that his lack of updates was hurting patron support...

{{quotebox|Trust me, I'm working on it! Very very soon! As in, tomorrow and next week!}}

... and to a ween who bragged about sharing the comic pages:

{{quotebox|That's not very nice. When you do that you are taking money from my pocket.}}

==On the [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan]] relationship and being blackmailed==
5 May

A fan asked:
{{quoteboxgreen|Is SIlvana okay with Magi being married (again). How does Mewtwo feel about his husband marrying someone}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|We are Polyamorous.}}

He expanded on it then next day:

{{quotebox|Polyamorous relationships and marriages are very cool there. Sylvana (YES, her name is spelled with a “Y”) is Totally Cool with Cryzel and I being part of the wedding tree. Mewtwo was skeptical at first, but he came around, and he really likes me too.

And you know Mewtwo: he has a good heart, but Cross Him, and you WILL REGRET IT LIKE TEAM ROCKET DID! Now Team Rocket is dissolved. Jessie, James and Meowth are their own trio team now; happy and alive for themselves. 😊❤️}}

A fan implored Chris to say whether this or the Twitter blackmailing was the work of a new Idea Guy and to seek help if not. Chris answered:

{{quotebox|t's under control now, trust me. I have some very Powerful Allies helping to rectify the situation. I can't say much other than certain people should be Very Frightened right now!}}

==Kengle's nightmare fuel==
5 May

[https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/992973385519910912 In response to Englehardt's art]

{{quotebox|This will give me nightmares.}}

==Turning back on CWCProtectSquad==
7 May

''to be added'' - https://kiwifarms.net/threads/5-7-chris-rejects-group-of-twitter-orbiters.42802/

==Meltdown on Twitter==
10 May

{{quotebox|Here's a Special Shoutout to [[CWCProtectSquad#Amy|@LittleAmychan]]! The annoying troll who treated me like a Stupid Idiot and thought she could win my favor by direct messaging me fake sweet words of encouragement and fake voice messages! It's already been tried a gazillion times, Sister! You LOSE!}}

@StriderFan28:
{{quoteboxred|@CWCSonichu Give me a shout out too Christine! Please Senpai!}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Go right off and FUCK YOURSELF! How was that, you Internet Hag!}}

@ShoopyDan:
{{quoteboxred|You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain, Christophina}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|<nowiki>***Christine***</nowiki> you FUCKING INTERNET DOUCHEWHORE! I'M FUCKING MAD! I'M SICK OF THE HATE! I'M SICK OF EVERYTHING! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!}}

@TendoDood:
{{quoteboxred|Financially we do because you have to put it all out there. Don't go to Bronycon and pay your bills.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|YOU DON'T KNOW WHY I CAN'T GO TO BRONYCON! FUCK YOU! I TOOK CARE OF MY BILLS AND EVERYTHING WAS TAKEN FROM ME! FUCKING EVERYTHING!}}

@StriderFan28:
{{quoteboxred|Honey that was just a joke calm down or CWCiki is going to have a field day with this one}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|YOUR MOM IS GOING TO HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH YOUR LIMP DICK!}}

@sheeztrouble:
{{quoteboxred|Tell them all off. You're doing great, girl ❤️}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|I FEEL THE POWER OF MY PENT UP RAGE FLOWING THROUGH ME!}}

Chris then tagged [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]:

Chris:
{{quotebox|@hwinslow3 AND YOU - YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN TOLERATE YOU! I FOLLOWED YOU OUT OF MUTUAL RESPECT!}}

@OrneryPossum:
{{quoteboxred|Oh damn - @CWCSonichu got @CountDankulaTV's attention!}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Who or what is @CountDankulaTV?!?! Alright, I need to rest. Sorry for getting so angry y'all, my brain feels like the 4th of July fireworks right now. NAPPY NAPPY NAPPITY NAP TIME!~}}

@CountDankulaTV:
{{quoteboxred|Yeah, Chris knows who I am, I think Chris has been hacked.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|I've been calming down. [[Feel_So_Lonesome|I can't]] [[Homos#Chris the Homo|THINK STRAIGHT]] when I'm angry. I wish you knew what was going on right now. When my mind goes blank, I Even Forget what I had for breakfast! Nappy time!}}

==Mother's day drawings==
13 May

{{quotebox|Happy Mother’s Day, Everyone! I have an inspiration for a couple of new drawings, that is not influenced by anyone outside of me, other than my actual family in Cwcville. I’ll upload it later today after drawing it. Meanwhile, I gave my mom a hug and kisses today; you do that.}}

{{quotebox|My family threw a little Mother’s Day Celebration in Cwcville for me this morning. And, my counterpart there would not exist without me, so in a sense, not biologically, I am her Mother too. (By the way, Christine is touching my butt.) I Love My Family and People! I am happy.❤️

[[File:Mother's day 2018.jpg|200px]]}}

{{quotebox|Self-Explanatory.

[[File:Mother's day 2018 2.jpg|200px]]}}

{{quotebox|But more accurately, I love my Cwcville Counterpart, and she loves me too.}}

==Holding Sonichu books hostage==
15 May, [[Patreon]]

{{quotebox|Making out the books

I have the books; I am signing them and enveloping them; I will have them shipped out in a couple of weeks. (Sooner if I can get another $100 or $200 in donations or sales of my stuff on eBay).}}

He posted to Twitter:

[[File:CWC Prequel comic bonus.jpg|200px]]

==Is LittleAmychan a troll?==
15 May, Twitter

{{quotebox|This is the video that @LittleAmychan sent me claiming to be "real". I am Highly Suspect that she may be a troll. If y'all continue to keep slamming me I'll be Very Upset!}}

A copy of the video is below:

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = LittleAmychan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Z5x4cJGQ6m4}}
| stardate =
| maker =
| subject =
| type =
| info = }}

‏@Salty237DOTcom:

{{quoteboxyellow|How is this suspicious? They are just encouraging you, you halfwit. You get mad at people for calling you retarded but when someone is actually kind to you, you are all “I don’t trust this person”. It’s not like they want you to have sex with a blow up doll while screaming.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|It's hard for me to tell These Days. People have tricked me before, Countless TImes, pretending to be Real Women. I have to watch everybody now, unfortunately, for my own Safety and Peace of Mind. If I am wrong I am truly sorry.}}

{{quotebox|I am reading the replies on my last Tweet. You just Don't Understand! I have been beaten, abused and beaten some more so much over the last many years! I view EVERYONE with suspicion because the Trolls and Bullys force me to! If I am wrong about @LittleAmychan, I am SORRY!}}

Chris then deleted the tweet with the video.

==Got married==
15 May, Facebook

''Note: Chris backdated this post to 26 March 2018.''

Chris made a status update saying he got married.

A fan asked:

{{quoteboxgreen|To whom?}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|To [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|Magi-Chan and Cryzel Rosechu]], of course! Mewtwo may also be joining us.}}

The fan replied:

{{quoteboxgreen|ah ok}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|It's okay because I am half-Pokemon.}}

He posted a picture of the newlyweds:

[[File:Newlyweds.jpg|200px]]

==Probable Hobbit==
16 May

{{quotebox|People are telling me that I'm focusing too much on the trolls.. I just want to thank my friend Jodi Newago for being a Loving and True friend and defending me! I don't make many friends easily anymore, but she is Truly an "Awesome Hobbit"!}}

''Note: Though some people accuse Chris of doxing Hobbit, the truth is that her real name easily shows up in a Google search when querying "Probable Hobbit."''

Hobbit (Twitter ID: sheeztrouble):

{{quoteboxgreen|Thank you ❤️❤️I'm always here for you.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Thank you [[Darling|Dear]]! I just saw your video.. you stood up to those all Dirty Bastards for me and I love you for it!}}

==[[Michael Hirtes]] BTFO==
16 May

From the previous update, Hirtes butted in:

{{quoteboxred|How about getting a jobby job job, Chris? Every day from now on. PS: Jodi's a troll too you know. But you won't listen till you find out the hard way (again). Same old Chris.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|The only troll is YOU! I have seen her pictures - she is REAL! How about you show your face, Mr. Troll? True and loving fans of mine - REPORT THIS ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY!}}

He then made an announcement:

{{quotebox|Calling all of my True and Loyal fans - I need to ask y'all a favor, Personally, from me, Christine Weston Chandler. The account @chris_crybaby has been harassing me for Far Too Long! Please report them to Twitter, immediately! Thank you and have a good safe day!}}

Someone replied:

{{quoteboxyellow|No need, we all know it's a fake account anyway. No one is fooled by it relax man.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Yes. But if we start reporting all of the troll accounts maybe they'll give up after they are BANNED from Twitter! We don't need Their Hate Here!}}

A fan cautioned:

{{quoteboxorange|Be careful doing that! Technically it counts as targeted harassment and it against Twitter's TOS. It would really be a shame to get yourself suspended to banned just for trying to stick up for yourself. Best of luck!}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|But they are fake accounts made to attack me - it will be alright! I asked the cosmos and it said REPORT REPORT REPORT!}}

Probable Hobbit (replying to Chris's post about Hirtes):

{{quoteboxgreen|This guy is a pain in the ass. He blocked me so I can no longer report his comments that contain abusive hate speech. Block him, Christine.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Yeah, I don't know what his problem is. I think he may be the same person using multiple accounts to Troll and Degrade me.}}

Later, Chris called out Hirtes:

{{quotebox|Greeting Michael Hirtes!}}

A fan commented:

{{quoteboxyellow|Michael J. Hirtes is a bigger lolcow than Chris tbh. I mean yeah you can make fun of Chris for a lot of stuff but at least he's not a fat old man who's life is dedicated to stalking Chris.

[[File:NewspaperHirtes.png|200px]]}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|While I, Myself, am a furry, this "Michael Hirtes" is indeed a Special Case. Yiff yiff!}}

Hirtes:

{{quoteboxred|And yet, you're still and shall always be Chris Chan. Julay julayyyy!}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Are your feelings hurt? Judging from the fact you had to make so many replies with Old Stuff means you're probably "butthurt"! Hah! Kooloo-Limpah!}}

==Sorbet is Missing==
{{quotebox|Sorbet has been missing for over a week. I’ve asked locally a couple of days after he wandered off while outside and didn’t return. I also put up these flyers on the telephone poles. Nobody’s found him or called us back. We miss him. I pray he is okay. ❤️
[[File:MissingSorbetPoster.jpg|200px]]}}

==Continuing Sonichu 12-9==
19 May

On Twitter:

{{quotebox|Blame it on the Bad Trolls for the delay; I’m looking to finish this book in less than a month from now.}}

On Patreon:

{{quotebox|Sorry for the delay! I am resuming work on “Sonichu 12-9” now; I will do better to get back on the groove again. Rock On, Bronies and Pegasisters!

[[File:Sonichu 12-9 progress, May 19.png|200px]]}}

==Kun T’Nyuget==
19 May, Patreon

{{quotebox|Also, Introducing Kun T’Nyuget

[[File:Also, Introducing Kun T’Nyuget.png|200px]]}}

==Pollo is dying==
20 May

{{quotebox|But My Old Phone Now, Please!!! We need more money here right now! Ugh! Also, Pollo is fading away; on death’s door; barely breathing and twitching! If he’s not dead in the comfort of the towel he’s wrapped in by tomorrow, I will need the money

Poor Pollo is dying!

[[File:Pollo dying.jpg|200px]]}}

Chris quickly deleted the message, as well as another advertising the sale of his iPhone, possibly due to backlash from his Twitter followers.

==Pollo is dead==
{{quotebox|
💐**Rest In Peace, Pollo.**💐
💐May 20, 2018💐

I'll Always Love You! ❤️
}}

Chris also noted that she is buried next to [[Patti Chandler]]

{{Facebook}}
{{Tweets}}

May 2018

2018-05-21T12:33:41Z

AcidHues: /* Highlights */

[[File:0518.jpg|thumb|Chris in May 2018]]
{{ongoing}}

'''May''' is the fifth month of [[2018]].

==Videos==
*[[Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!]]
*[[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE]]
*[[SERIOUSLY, BUY THE TOYS FROM ME NOW, PLEASE!]]
*[[Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!]]
*[[May 2018 Paid Video Requests]]
*[[I Am Sick of the HATE!!! (I could use a break)]]
==Highlights==
*1 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Mad at Facebook friends|gets mad on Facebook]], blocking two people for making fun of him and correcting another for deadnaming him.
*2 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Whining about Patreon backers reducing pledges|whines about his Patreon backers reducing their pledges]] and offers an extra Sonichu license plate on [[eBay]].
*4 May - Chris uploads [[Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!]] to apologize for the lack of progress on Sonichu and announces an exclusive comic to his [[Patreon|Patreon backers]] featuring himself, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel Rosechu]]. He also [[May 2018 social media posts#Begging for sales money to ship books|begs for sales money, allegedly to afford shipping out books]], even though he had gotten $450 from Patreon donors two days prior and made thousands of dollars from eBay sales/gifts in the previous month. Finally, after [[Kenneth Erwin Englehardt]] had [[May 2018 social media posts#Kenneth Englehardt BTFO|enough of Chris's rudeness and walked away from his Facebook]], he quickly backpedals, tweeting to Chris instead.
*5 May - Chris confirms that his recent sweethearts are [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan]] when he uploads a preview of a special wedding story for [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]]. He [[May 2018 social media posts#Last six months, imminent financial ruin|puts out an ambiguous statement]] that something bad happened to him during the last six months and that, as a result, his finances are the worst they've ever been.
*7 May - Upset at how he was [[May_2018_social_media_posts#Turning_back_on_CWCProtectSquad|banned from Anytime Fitness]], Chris turns his back on the [[CWCProtectSquad]].
*8 May - [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!|Barb and Chris beg in multiple videos]] for mortgage payment money, saying they must pay tomorrow and are at risk of foreclosure if they do not, and Chris states that something happened to him over the last six months which caused him to lose a lot of money. He slashes prices on eBay and [[2018 Sales Listings#Celebrity Visit From Christine Weston Chandler|offers a celebrity visit from himself]] for $500. He also continues his court visit for the [[Chris and the Law#2018|Trespass After Forbidden charge]], ending with a continuance issued for 5 June.
*9 May - Chris [[Financhu Crisis#May '18|scrounges up the money]] to make the mortgage payment, blames the mortgage company for being "money-gouging assholes."
*10 May - Chris has [[May 2018 social media posts#Meltdown on Twitter|a temper tantrum on Twitter]] and [[I Am Sick of the HATE!!! (I could use a break)|video]]. Barb [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|appears in two paid request videos]].
*13 May - For Mother's Day, [[May 2018 social media posts#Mother's day drawings|Chris makes two drawings of himself holding hands with his CWCville counterpart]], saying that he is her mother. He notes that the CWCville Christine is touching his butt.
*15 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Got married|changes his Facebook status to say that he is married]] and comments that it is to [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan]], saying it's fine because he's half-Pokémon. He unmasks [[CWCProtectSquad#Amy|LittleAmychan]], posting [[May 2018 social media posts#Is LittleAmychan a troll?|a video she had sent him privately over suspicion that she is a troll]]. He [[May 2018 social media posts#Holding Sonichu books hostage|tries to guilt his patrons]] into raising money for him to get the books they already paid for shipped faster.
* 16 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Michael Hirtes BTFO|calls out]] [[Michael Hirtes]] over his constant [[ween]]ing.
* 17 May - Chris [[May 2018 social media posts#Sorbet is Missing|posts]] that [[Sorbet]] has gone missing for the past week.
* 20 May - Chris posts that [[Pollo]] has died due to natural causes

{{timeline}}