CWCki - User contributions [en]

Medallions

2021-01-15T15:18:31Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Hiatus and the return */ Changing citation to the specific Facebook post that confirms the loss of the Asperchu medallion.

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{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Never retiring the medallion, Ever.|[[Chris]], February 2020<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts]]</ref>}}

[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|Oh yes, he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

The '''Medallions''' (also called "'''Medals'''" by [[Chris]]) were a result of Chris's infatuation with his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Due to the frequency of wearing his medallions in videos, photos and in public, it has become one of his more memorable characteristics along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]] and more recently his [[Tomgirl Saga|tom-girl appearance]].<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>"[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]"</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref> Although Chris's habit of wearing the medallion at all times has tapered off starting in [[2009]], he still wears the medallion in public as recently as [[August 2019]]. He does not plan ever to retire it, despite its degrading condition.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-6015357 Chris rebuffs suggestion to replace medallion, 15 February 2020]</ref>

Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters and previously produced them in larger numbers for purchase through [[eBay]]. All previous and current iterations have been made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]], and the quality varies from medallion to medallion.

In 2016, Chris made [[Christine Doll|a custom doll figure of himself]], based on a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' toy. He has been seen holding it up in videos and taking it out in public (visible from his purse), which suggests that the doll is a new spin on the medallion concept. More recently, Chris has often been seen wearing the medallion alongside his [[unicorn cosplay]] and [[Z-Ring]], most notably in a photo of him at [[Cville Pride]] published in the local newspaper ''Daily Progress'' in September 2017.

__TOC__

==Origins and purpose==

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion.

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].|Chris, on the [[CWCipedia]]<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>
}}

[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|200px|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|200px|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]


Although not explicitly stated as inspiration, the Medallion of Fail is similar in concept to the medallions worn by the main characters in ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Underground]]'', which originally aired a year beforehand.

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his "[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]" video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref><s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris wrote on his [[MySpace]] profile in [[2008]] that he considers the medallion a signifier which makes him "Very Easy to find in public"<ref name="myspace">"I am Very Easy to find in public; I usually wear my Sonichu Medallion." [[MySpace#July 2008]]</ref>, suggesting that he may use the medallion as a kind of mobile [[attraction sign]]: a conversation piece to invite potential [[sweetheart]]s to ask about Sonichu, giving Chris an excuse to launch into a tirade about [[Chris and his ego|his famous creation which has made him]] [[True and Loyal Fanbase|beloved across the world]].

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he most likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The Medallions==
===Sonichu Medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Yes, he even wore it to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation...]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent Powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].

As Chris explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], his medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that, in order for a video to be TRUE and HONEST, it requires him to wear the medallion during its filming. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|videos he posted confessing his homosexuality]], since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associate's degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as [[2004#May|May 2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it in his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain, it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures, they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anonymous commentator on 4chan's /v/ board offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]], when a team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s former owner/webmaster, Girlvinyl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her", Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] explaining that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]. During this same exchange, he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case, he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive Max or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but Chris himself has confirmed that he indeed inserted the shreds of the medallion into his ass and later on expelled them into the toilet.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> Chris thinks that [[Bob Chandler|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of 2011, the medallion was hanging on his wall, as seen in the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video.

For several months in [[2014]], it was speculated that this medallion was destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in Chris's house on 10 [[January 2014]]. However, photos from [[July 2014]] confirmed that it was spared destruction.

The medallion was shattered when Chris accidentally dropped it on the floor at [[The End Games]] in April 2017.

====Mark 4 and beyond====
[[File:VDAy shirt.jpeg|thumb|100|The filthy medallion in February 2020.]]

The latest medallion, with numerous modifications made to it over the years (see Modified Medallion section below), has become increasingly discolored from late-2019 onward.

Chris inadvertently revealed the reason in a [[Discord]] comment:

{{quote|Celestial Key, Chrysoberyl, Medallion, and Lemurian Seed go into the shower and bed with me as well And combined with my Larimar Stone, I've personally met and made allies with the Goddess of Lemuria.|Chris on his collection of [[magic stones]].}}

As Crayola Model Magic is porous when hardened, while Chris showers with it on, the medallion absorbs grime such as soap scum and skin cells. The surface of the Mark 4 medallion has also become increasingly uneven and discolored over time due to frequent contact with hot water.

 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

The [[Rosechu]] medallion is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. It was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Only one Rosechu medallion existed, until Chris started making them for sale.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he admitted himself.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough whilst wearing the evil medallion, then whoever he's angered at will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|thumb|left|Baka Dana Watashi!]]
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|thumb|Back of the medallion.]]
Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.
{{Clear}}

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|left|The Medallion of Win in all its glory.]]
In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's [[Magical Man|mysterious friend]] is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and hung it up on his wall. The medal still hung on Chris's wall until the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire]] of January 2014, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris wouldn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about. Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].

On 2 [[August 2014]] Chris confirmed that this medallion has been destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in his house on 10 [[January 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Fan items lost in the fire]]</ref>
{{clear}}

===Modified Medallion===
[[File:MAGfest stuff2.jpg|thumb|200px|Modified to include elements from Sonichite and ''Neptunia''.]]

Chris upgraded his medallion in June 2017 to include [[Sonichite]], by placing a painted sticker on the back of it, channeling [[Pokémon]]'s Mega Stone power-up item.

In January 2018, he altered it again, this time to include a Share Crystal, fashioned from a Purple Rupee he had bought at [[MAGfest]].<ref>[[January 2018 tweets]]</ref> Share Crystals are an integral part of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'s lore, representing faith in CPU goddesses and allowing them to recharge. Chris had made "Share your shares" a frequent rallying cry when he discovered the game.<ref>[[November 2017 Facebook posts]]</ref>

===Magic stones===
{{see also|Magic stones}}

[[File:CWCmay2020.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris wearing his [[magic stones]] along with the medallion.]]
[[File:24 03 20 Back of medallion.jpg|thumb|left|Magic stone on the back of the medallion]]
[[Emily]] noted that around summer 2019, Chris was wearing a pouch of rocks around his neck in addition to the medallion, believing the rocks to have mystical powers<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5107905</ref>.
[[File:September28TwitterMedallion2.jpg|thumb|Damaged medallion in 2020]]
{{quote|Once he told me his neck hurts and when I told him it was probably because of his rocks he gave me then 1000 yard stare and I could tell his brain was malfunctioning for a response.|Emily}}

Chris later purchased a set of containers for the stones to hang alongside his medallion.

{{Clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
[[Image:Abused cat.jpg|thumb|Poor kitty...]]

Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely the requirement that he must wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there is only one medallion that has not been obtained by trolls, shoved up Chris's ass, or otherwise destroyed.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed by Chris===
*Sonichu v.2

===Destroyed in the 14BC Fire===
*Asperchu

===Destroyed by accident===
*Sonichu v.3

==Hiatus and the return==
[[File:PickingUpLesbiansAtTheEndGames.jpeg|thumb|200px|Old habits die hard.]]

Chris began to move away from his medallions in [[2010]]. He wore one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]], and again in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). After that, Chris was not photographed wearing the medallion in either public or private settings for nearly four years. This abandonment coincided with his adoption of [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] attire; the medallion apparently did not fit his new image, though he eventually returned to wearing it.

Even while Chris had given up wearing the medallion, it still constituted an important part of his identity. In [[November 2012]], Chris made a Kreo (off-brand [[Lego]] sets made by [[Transformers|Hasbro]]) edition of himself wearing a tiny paper medallion for his [[Facebook]] image, suggesting that Chris hadn't totally given up on [[Sonichu_(comic)|Sonichu]]. The figure showed up again on his Facebook page in mid-2014, this time with a female friend (soon to be revealed as a new [[Catherine|sweetheart]]) wearing a Rosechu medallion.

In [[July 2014]], Chris sold several [[Autographed Photos|autographed photos of himself]] on [[eBay]], and some buyers requested that he wear the Sonichu medallion. As noted previously in this article, it was speculated that the third Sonichu medallion had been consumed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in his house on 10 [[January 2014]]. The photos which they received confirmed that the Sonichu v.3 medallion had indeed survived the fire,<ref>[[:File:Received_autographed_photos_-_5_Jul_2014.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Chris with medallion - July 2014.jpg]]</ref> but Chris later confirmed that the Asperchu medallion had been destroyed in the flames.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Fan items lost in the fire|2 August 2014 Facebook post]].</ref>

In October 2015, Chris was spotted in public, at [[The End Games]] card shop, wearing the Medallion. He was also wearing it at [[Cville Pride]] a year later. Interestingly, Chris seems to now exclusively wear the medallion in public, despite no longer wearing it in his videos. This trend lends credence to Chris's previous statement that he wears the medallion so that [[Boyfriend-free girl|friends and well-wishers]] can identify him in public<ref name="myspace"/>.

To promote his $12,000 eBay auction for [[The Classic]] in [[April 2017]], Chris donned the medallion on video once more in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]. He wore it to events that year, such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] and [[BronyCon]].

<center><gallery>
File:133696094632.jpg|Appearance from 11 [[November 2010]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|YOUR MEDAL IS MADE OUT OF '''PAPER'''!
File:HOW MANY GENDERS ARE THERE.png|In 2016.
File:Chris posing with S-chu Ball, Nov 2017.jpg ‎|In 2017.
File:Our signatures00001.png|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]] and the latter the medallion.
</gallery></center>

==The medallion goes mass-market==
[[File:Chris with medallion - July 2014.jpg|thumb|right|The medallion's return in 2014.]]

===Overview===
On 12 September 2014, Chris announced on his [[September 2014 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] page that he would be making and selling replica medallions on [[eBay]] for $30 each. He expressed a willingness to make not only Sonichu and Rosechu medals, but also "most any of the rest of the characters, or a custom of your choosing." His first listing of 55 sold out quickly, and he was forced to relist it. By the time sales were temporarily halted on December 6, he had succeeded in selling at least 114. He re-listed 30 medallions in February 2015, and these too quickly sold out. In June 2015, 16 more medallions appeared on his eBay account, also selling out within a day. Photos indicated that he had extended the run of medallions to 300. In July he sold a few medallion/[[Amiibo]] bundle sets, and in August listed 20 more standalone medallions.

===eBay Description===
{{quotebox|
Straight from the creator and artist, Christian Weston Chandler (myself), a Fresh molded, coloured and certified medallion of Sonichu, Rosechu, most any of the rest of the characters, or a custom of your choosing. It WILL be shipped in a sealed wrap marked "Fragile". My signature will be written on the backs if each medallion. A Personal Certificate of Authenticity will be included and a medallion will be attached to its back. NO LOCAL PICKUP AVAILABLE, at the Personal Risk of myself, the Original Creator and Artist.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Disclaimer: When ordering a medallion, or more than one, please specify which you would like: Sonichu or Rosechu. A medallion of the other cannon main characters may be requested for your purchase. Your own fan Sonichu or Rosechu character(s) version may also be requested and suggested. Should I find the suggested outside character offensive, I shall inform you and accept another suggestion or default to the Prime Sonichu or Rosechu character(s) for your order; I am usually easy on accepting of custom requests at first. The rings inserted into the medallions are smaller than a typical keychain ring. And the necklace for them will be set-length blue leather straps, tied at the ring, for best fit around most head and neck sizes. The flower on the photographed Rosechu medallion is not included by default; if you would like a flower added onto your Rosechu medallion, you may request it in your message at the time of, or following, your purchase. Also, please allow up to two weeks for creation of each medallion, and should any delays come up, I will inform you via eBay Private Message Individually, or make a public post on my Facebook page. And Final individual molding creation may or will vary or differ from those in the above photographs.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Take Heart and UNDERSTAND!!! There will NOT be ANY altercations made to the medallions AT ALL. The medallion(s) WILL be mailed via USPS First Class and Expedited with Delivery Confirmation and a Tracking Number and marked "Fragile; Handle With Care". I have NO obligation to make any personal appearances upon my own personal risk.
}}

For the July 2015 relisting, he added the following paragraph to this description. He did not, however, alter the description to reflect his supposed name change to Christine.

{{quotebox|
<nowiki>**</nowiki>NOTE, July 7, 2015: I have already molded, painted, certified and boxed individually, Sonichu Medallions equal to the maximum quantity available that I have listed right here, right now. So, everyone who requests Sonichu will get their shipped as early as the following day. Custom Orders are still an option, as described in the description, but still Please Allow up to Two Weeks for individual creation and shipment. Thank you.}}

Chris posted images of Sonichu and Rosechu medallion samples and the manufacturing components.
<center><gallery>
File:Medallions 1.JPG
File:Medallions 2.JPG
File:Medallions 3.JPG
File:Medallions 4.JPG
</gallery></center>

===eBay Questions and Answers===
{{email|
Hi Christian! I have bought an ALF drawing from you and I want to know if I can have a medallion made for a Christmas present. Are you able to do one of Mega Man? Or of Alpha 5 from the Power Rangers? Please let me know!
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes, I can do both medals like that.
}}

{{email|
Hey there, I'm still trying to figure out which medallion I might want, but I was wondering if maybe it would be possible to request a Magi-chan or Punchy medallion? Or maybe since Halloween is coming up, is a Vamprosa possible as well? I would love that! Thanks in advance!!
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes, any of those characters are most doable.
}}

{{email|
Is this a limited edition offer? Are the medallions engraves with serial numbers? Also i'm curious as to what quantity you can produce. I'm interested in purchasing whole sale and was wondering if you can produce 200 units which would be sold in my business.
}}
{{EmailReply|
Well, the numbers are written/engraved in the back of each medallion, and they each come with a personal matching Certificate of Authenticity. I personally hand craft the medallions with heart and soul. To make an order as large as 200, I would definitely require the total amount of $30 X 200 medals, upfront and sent to my PayPal account, which the email address to which can be found upon checking out from one of my listings, along with an email or eBay PM to inform me of such a large order.
}}

{{email|
Hello. The original medallions that you wore were made using Crayola Model Magic and acrylic paint. Are you using the same materials to make these nice items? Have a pleasant day.
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes, I am using the same, but fresh, materials.
}}

{{email|
Is the item autographed with either marker or an engraving?
}}
{{EmailReply|
Permanent Ink Marker, and the Certificate will also have my personal Signature written onto it as well, but in RSVP Pentel Pen Ink.
}}

{{email|
How big are these Medallions and how much do they weigh? I don't want to risk getting weird stares while I wear it if it's too bulky.
}}
{{EmailReply|
Weight: feels like a few ounces; definitely less than a pound.
}}

{{email|
You say give you two weeks to make and ship our order. Does it really take you two weeks to make these? Or is this just an estimate? Also, how big are these, on average? I would like to wear mine all over, but if it's too [text missing]
}}
{{EmailReply|
Two weeks is an estimate, counting the time it would take to make a lot of them, depending on the total ordered quantity. They measure 3.5 inches X 3.5 inches square, and are a quarter inch thick, plus another quarter inch [text missing]
}}

{{email|
Can we request medallions of minor characters?
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes
}}

{{email|
Is it made out of Crayola Model Magic?
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes.
}}

===Etsy Questions and Answers===
A fan's particular requests for custom medallions in [[September 2015]] required a brief conversation:

{{quoteboxgreen|What is Robee's girlfriend's name and how did she meet her?}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|That is still yet to be determined.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Im asking cuz I wanna order 4 custom medallions.

1 Of me

1 of Trunks from Dragonball GT (not Z or Super)

1 Of Robee

and

1 of Robee's girlfriend

itd be good to have a name and history to go with the face.

its not Mimi is it?}}

{{quotebox|It is definitely not Mimi. I will get back to you on Robee's sweetheart. And I can definitely fill that custom medallion order set you described. I will have your last order shipped out very soon. Thank you for your continued patronage.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|You're welcome! Does Robee have autism? What kind of stuff does she like to do in her spare time?}}

{{quotebox|Robee is Not autistic. In her spare time, she likes to be active, rather it's going out for a run, trying to meet the speed to make her own Zapping Booms (like her daddy), mingling and hanging out with her girl friends (her sweetheart is part of that friendship circle). Or spending time alone with her sweetheart, sharing secrets, having fun, and the private matters. She, Robee's Sweetheart, really enjoys the best of both the tribbing, the traditional, and the other things. Robee also enjoy playing the Wii Sports and Sonic/Mario Olympic games, writing out her thoughts in her diary, and self-reflecting and meditate. She is no stranger to a party either.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Does Robee turn into Ultra Sonichu or a woman scorned like Rosechu? Also, what Robee's reason behind becoming a tomgirl?}}

{{quotebox|She is a Female Soul trapped in a male body, and she really likes doing nearly everything with style, flare, and functional-to-her dashin' fashion.}}
[[File:Medallions.jpg|thumb|Sonichu sampler.]]
===Facebook Notices===
As with other aspects of his eBay business, Chris frequently made relevant announcements on his Facebook page. The initial notice:

{{quotebox|12 September 2014
I am starting on making the medals for sale. I have the materials to make them now.
}}

Chris described the production process in detail in order to justify the two weeks he required to ship a medallion:

{{quotebox|25(?) September 2014
I would like to announce that I am most grateful for y'all's business on the Medallions. And such.

Also, just to let everyone know Why I estimate Two Weeks for creation of a medal or more....

First, I have to be in the mood and mindset for creation as best as I am able, or otherwise not busy with life details or chores and errands. Then I have to Mold them according to my own specifications, including being able to fit into the 3.5" square boxes with cotton puddings per box. Then they all have to air dry overnight. Then I paint the details, let that dry, and then use a permanent Ink find point marker to hand write my signature, (c), and production number. Followed by measuring the lengths of the neck straps from the longer leather strips, thread them through the rings of each medal as tie the two ends together. Then I print or photocopy the small square blank certificates, fill them each appropriately with their respective medal, and then laminate the certificates. And then there's the package wrapping, addressing And shipping them out at my local USPS Post Office. Around then, I would add the tracking numbers respectively as well.

And with that, I am making my promise now that from the first week's order amount if over thirty medals, I will have them all ready to ship, and ship them all on Friday the 27th!

Thank you all for your patronage and your patience. Have a good and safe day.
}}

Chris was happy when the first run of the medallions sold out.

{{quotebox|1 October 2014
My, My! The Medallion Listing ended with the last quantity number sold. No worries, people, I will have it relisted ASAP, when eBay refreshes my monthly Listing Allowance.

In the meantime, everyone can still get a Medallion for Free with purchase of a Framed Piece, Commission with the Works, and a Colored Commission. And I will now offer a Two-For-One Special through the B&W Listing; Free Medal with Purchase of a B&W Commission, and y'all may request a Medallion in lieu of a Commission Drawing. That is like buying Two Medallions for 1 2/3 of the total price.

I will extend the offer until when I am able to Relist the Medallions. I sincerely apologize for any inconveniences, and I thank you all for your understanding and patience.
}}

===The Mr. Smith Situation===
Among those who ordered a medallion from Chris was one Mr. Smith. There is some dispute concerning the origins of the conflict between Chris and Mr. Smith, and whether or not Mr. Smith's complaints were justified.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-09-21-14-chris-promises-all-the-medallions-will-be-shipped-by-9-27.4991/page-4#post-349366</ref><ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-9-30-angry-eyed-sonichu-medallions.5107/page-10#post-361784</ref><ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/my-experience-with-christian-featuring-a-new-original-art-piece.5501/</ref><ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-9-27-14-chris-blames-the-victim.5070/page-12#post-357047</ref>

In [[September 2014]], Mr. Smith ordered a Sonichu medallion from Chris on eBay, who stated that it would take two weeks to ship. After two weeks passed, Mr. Smith, believing that the two-week period meant the medallion would be created and shipped during that time, contacted Chris, who stated he didn't make the medallion yet and lacked the money to ship it. This resulted in Mr. Smith filing a claim against him on 18 September, thereby freezing his PayPal account. Furious, Chris sent several angry messages to Mr. Smith pleading to lift the case.

{{EmailReply|
Your medal will be shipped tomorrow. PLEASE CLOSE YOUR CASE IMMEDIATELY; I NEED THE MONEY OUT OF THE LIMBO YOU HAVE FORCED IT INTO, SO I CAN SHIP IT AND THE REMAINDER!!! - jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Listen to me, Buster! I told you I needed up to two weeks for the creation of the medals in the Listing! And if there is a delay, I would let everyone know. See attached image for WHY I NEED THE TIME!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

In for you to get YOUR medal at all right now and Sooner is for you to Close Your Case and let me have the money back! You are being a Major Cyber-Bully and a God Damed Internet Troll right now! If you want to redeem yourself and be forgiven, you WILL give me the money Back in Closing your Case against me RIGHT NOW!!! PLEASE!!!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

You will get your medal, but I NEED THE MONEY, Please! Why are you being a damn Bully?!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

At this point, Chris doxxed Mr. Smith on Facebook.

{{quotebox|26 September 2014
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT OPEN ANY EBAY CASES AGAINST ME!!! When someone does that, it forces the amount removed into Limbo from my PayPal, which risks pushing it into the Red, as when it is forced untie red, an OVERDRAFT FEE is charged against me, and when I have Negative Money in my PayPal Account, I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SHIP ANYTHING!!! Daniel, your medal has just been shipped, ad the other two people, yours and the current remainder will be shipped tomorrow, or NOT IF YOU DO NOT CLOSE YOUR CASES AGAISNT ME AND GIVE ME THE MONEY BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

Do Not Be So Damn Impatient and Greedy!!! God Dang It!!!}}

To which he added:
{{quotebox|
Either tomorrow or on the First of October; depending if the two people ([omitted] closed his case; very much appreciated) close Their casses immediately or not! UGH!!!

[Omitted] of Portland, Oregon, AKA: username: [omitted]. And [omitted] of Lashmeet, West Virginia, AKA: username: [omitted].

Bullies! They're being Damn Bullies!!! Ugh!!!
}}

Mr. Smith was upset. At this point, the credibility of Smith's complaints became less important.

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?! You just posted my name and where I live on your Facebook. I know you deleted it but someone screenshotted it and showed it to me. Now I'm getting prank phone called. I'm reporting you to Ebay RIGHT NOW....
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I am very sorry about trolling you like that, I will have your medal shipped tomorrow, most definitely.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

Your medallion has been sent; you may check the Tracking Number; PLEASE Close Your Case Immediately.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

No. This is far from over. I spent an hour on the phone with Ebay last night and now they're getting involved with the investigation. I have proof that you did it and some people even want me to go to the cops with it.
}}

{{EmailReply|
Look, I am Really Sorry about that; I was under a lot of stress, and what I did was wrong. Please end this chaos. I do not want any trouble.
}}

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

You're only saying that you're sorry because you're in trouble. You've not even attempted to make the situation up to me.
}}

Chris tried to resolve the problem with a Facebook post.

{{quotebox|27 September 2014
I DID make a comment where I named two people who opened cases against me, plummeting my PayPal account closer to the Red Again! I was under a LOT of Stress! The One Remaining who is refusing to Close his Case is causing me more grief and stress enough that could kill me with a heart attack or a stroke.

Saying his and her names in the comment was very wrong of me, and I understand what I did was a Trolling-Stupid Act; that is Not Me, and [[Chris and remorse|I am Very, Truly Sorry]] for doing that. But I had deleted shortly after, and yet it wasn't quick enough for the REAL TROLLS AND CYBER-BULLIES to screen cap it and forcing it against me into even more stress and trouble!

[[Chris and negotiation|Can't we just forgive and forget?]] Or are the lot of you soo corrupted, that you have lost all feeling in your hearts, and sold your own souls and self-beings to a form of a devil that keeps you all dragged down in front of your monitors day in and day out with only sole and pitiful purposes of needlessly torturing EVERYBODY ELSE, regardless of Innocent or Guilty or In-Between?

Good Grief!!!

--:( feeling drained.
}}

Chris hoped this would resolve the issue, and sent two private messages to Mr. Smith:

{{EmailReply|
I just made a public apology in full detail from my exhausted heart and soul on my Facebook. I am NOT RICH! My mother and I are just getting by as it is. You would gain nothing from me or my family in any court of law or whatever. [[Michael Snyder]] knows what I am talking about; he thought it would be a get-rich-quick scheme for him, but he was very wrong, and he had to go out of business of His [[The GAMe PLACe|Hobby PLace]] afterwards. You think about that.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
And I will also add that you are torturing a [[Homos#Chris the lesbian|Lesbian and a Transgender]], as well as an [[Autism|Autistic Individual]]; the HRC and Autism Facilities would be very interested in hearing about my being abused by Your constant inaction, bullying on me and lack of cooperation of a heartfelt conclusion and settlement. Think about that a well.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

This did not satisfy Mr. Smith.

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

I don't care that you're gay and autistic. You intentionally tried to harm me and you're going to suffer the consequences.
}}

{{EmailReply|
You Hurt Me First and worst by pushing my finances towards the Red with great risk of getting an Overdraft charged against me! This fight is needless and nonsense; what's done is done. I have most sincerely apologized, I shipped your Medal Out Today! Please Just Stop Attacking Me!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

At this point Mr. Smith received a Sonichu medallion from Chris, but it came with an angry expression. The certificate was marred by black smudges. Mr. Smith complained that it was not what he had asked for. Chris summarized the dispute on Facebook:

{{quotebox|30 September 2014
I want to make it publicly known to everyone that Mr. Smith (to hold his first name on identity sake) is being a further bully by making a false case against me. The Medallion I had sent him is a Sonichu Medallion, but because of how his actions against me made me feel and all, his Medallion has an Angry Expression, where the eyes' whites were painted orange, with a flame look on the irises, and a most Angry facial expression. He is claiming it to be a Blue something, possibly like the ONE Yawning Squirtle Medallion that was order by another (Female) customer.

His case is very false, and I want the record to show that the Only Thing Blue about his medallion is the Neck Strap, just like most everyone else's medallions. The actual medal is of the same Sonichu face shape, but with the angry expression I have stated just now. Please make Mr. Smith stop Cyber-Bullying and Trolling Me with his constant hold on the $30 that is still very much in Limbo currently.
}}

A number of Chris's fans were concerned that the certificate was smudged because Chris had spit on it or worse. Chris reassured one fan:

{{EmailReply|
I have never spit on anything I have shipped out. The only recent mishap was black paint being spilt onto a couple of blank certificates.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Chris and Mr. Smith continued to argue via private messages.

{{EmailReply|
You must be mistaken; your medallion is NOT BLUE at all. And I was very careful of sending you the right medallion, which in your case, because of how you made me feel, I gave the Sonichu face an enraged, angry expression. I do not do Refunds, because what I sell are Customized Items; they do not resell, period. I am under the impression you are just further bullying me for your own perspective of revenge. The decision is final. Good Day.
}}

{{EmailReply|
I did not send you the wrong medallion, I PURPOSELY molded, Drew and colored it to [[Chris and anger|BE ANGRY at YOU]], for your constant stubborn attitude and Bullying. And you certainly are bucking up to be worthy of my own anger as well. Accurate Item; MADE CUSTOM JUST FOR YOU, [omitted]! Hmmpf!
}}

Mr. Smith still refused to lift his eBay case against Chris, and demanded satisfaction. Chris agreed to send a new, unadulterated medallion as well as a free commissioned drawing, which Mr. Smith requested to be a portrait of himself with Sonichu.

The illustration, dated 13 October, turned out to be a mockery of Mr. Smith. While Mr. Smith had sent photos of himself to Chris for reference, Chris drew Mr. Smith with a "troll face"; depicted a bucket of ice about to topple onto his head; and drew Sonichu saying "You just couldn't let up and be patient, could you, Mr. Smith?" Chris also wrote on the drawing, "YOU PUT ME ON A [[tugboat|SINKING SHIP]], KILLING MY FINANCES."

Still unsatisfied and persisting with his eBay complaint, Mr. Smith demanded that Chris make a [[To Mr. Smith|video apology]]. Because Chris was not wearing his medallion while making this apology, Mr. Smith suspected that it was not True and Honest. Chris responded:

{{EmailReply|
I am for real, and I do not have to wear my medallion to prove myself. I have done more than your money's worth for you. I am the real Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA. And you can best tell who I am from my Face. I am sick of kissing your pitiful ass. Now, you can kiss my [[un-clit|cooch]]!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Ultimately, eBay decided to refund the $30 to Mr. Smith. In the end, he got the following loot for free:
<center><gallery>
File:Mrsmithangryeyessonichu.jpg|"Angry eyes" Sonichu.
File:Authentically autistic.JPG|The smeared certificate.
File:Med 73 B.JPG|The second, unadulterated medallion.
File:Chris's Commission to Mr. Smith (compressed).jpg|The commissioned drawing.
</gallery></center>

Needless to say, Chris did not come out of this fiasco looking as good as he [[Chris and his ego|probably thought he did]].

===The Received Medallions===
Recipients noted that the medallions were surprisingly lightweight. A number had parts broken off; Chris routinely included a note that these could be fixed with Krazy Glue. This note was hand-written at first, but eventually he created a typed version, complete with misspelling. Another common problem was that Chris placed medallions in boxes while they were still wet or before the clay had set, resulting in smearing and fading. Some had fingerprints, or arrived with disturbing foreign materials. In 2015, he began signing his name as "Christine," but was too lazy to print up new certificates to reflect the name change.

{{collapsible
|Gallery of medallions, thus far
|<center><gallery>

File:Med 12 B.jpg|Number 12, box.
File:Med 12 C.jpg|Number 12, box.
File:Med 12 D.jpg|Number 12, box.
File:Med 12 A.jpg|Number 12, [[Yawning Squirtle]].
File:Med 12 E.jpg|Number 12, back.
File:Med 12 G.jpg|Chris's lack of knot tying know-how is evident.
File:Med 13 A.jpg|Number 13, box.
File:Med 13 B.jpg|Number 13, box.
File:Sonchu.jpg|Number 13, front.
File:Med 13 D.jpg|Number 13, back.
File:Med 18 box.JPG|Number 19, EVIL BOX.
File:Mrsmithangryeyessonichu.jpg|Number 19, Mr. Smith's medallion.
File:Authentically autistic.JPG|Number 19, smeared certificate.
File:Med 23.jpg|Number 23. Recipient said the nose fell off and the signature was illegible.
File:Med 25 A.jpg|Number 25, elegantly displayed.
File:Med 25 B.jpg|Number 25, close-up.
File:Med 27 A.jpg|Number 27.
File:Med 27 B.jpg|Number 27, certificate.
File:Med 34.png|Number 34.
File:Med 35.jpg|Number 35.
File:Med Y.jpg|Number 38.
File:Med 41 A.jpg|Number 41.
File:Med 41 B.jpg|Number 41, back.
File:Med 41 C.jpg|Number 41, certificate.
File:Med 41 D.jpg|Number 41, "Care and [[Chris and English|Maintainence]]".
File:Med 41 E.jpg|Number 41, Chris is not very prompt (note the [[A-Logging|a-loggish]] comment).
File:Med 41 G.jpg|Number 41's satisfied customer.
File:Med 46 A.JPG|Number 46, box.
File:Med 46 C.JPG|Number 46.
File:Med 46 B.JPG|Number 46, back.
File:Med 59 A.png|Number 59.
File:Med 59 B.png|Number 59, back. [[Chris and art|Note the smearing]].
File:Med 59 C.png|Number 59, certificate.
File:Med 60 A.jpg|Number 60, box.
File:Med 60 B.jpg|Number 60, box.
File:Med 60 C.jpg|Number 60, the complete package.
File:Med 60 D.jpg|Number 60, close-up.
File:Med 60 E.jpg|Number 60, another picture.
File:Med 60 F.jpg|Number 60, yet another view.
File:Med 60 G.jpg|Number 60, certificate.
File:Med 61 A.jpg|Number 61, box.
File:Med 61 B.jpg|Number 61, box.
File:Med 61 C.jpg|Number 61, as packaged. Recipient said it [[Axe|smelled bad]].
File:Med 61 D.jpg|Number 61, [[Wild Sonichu]].
File:Med 61 E.jpg|Number 61, back. Typical smearing.
File:Med 61 F.jpg|Number 61, certificate, with paint smears.
File:Med 61 G.jpg|Number 61, "Care and Maintainence".
File:Med 61 H.jpg|Number 61, fingerprints.
File:Med 61 I.jpg|Number 61, hair.
File:Med 62C.png|Number 62, box.
File:Med 62A.png|Number 62 with certificate.
File:Med 62B.png|Number 62's satisfied customer.
File:Meds 64 & 65 B.png|Numbers 64 and 65.
File:Meds 64 & 65 A.png|Numbers 64 and 65, back.
File:Med 66 B.jpg|Number 66, certificate.
File:Med 66 A.jpg|Number 66.
File:Med Z.JPG|Number 68, Wild Sonichu.
File:Med 69 C.jpg|Number 69, box.
File:Med 69 D.jpg|Number 69. Box had "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|strange brownish stains]]" on it.
File:Med 69 A.jpg|Number 69, [[Robbie Sonichu]].
File:Med 69 G.jpg|Number 69, back.
File:Med 69 E.jpg|Number 69, the complete package.
File:Med 69 F.jpg|Number 69. The nose fell off.
File:Med 69 B.jpg|Number 69. Recipient identified this as "[[Chris and health|a booger attached to a lock of hair]]" found inside the box.
File:Med 70.JPG|Number 70. The recipient requested that Chris sign it.
File:Med 72 A.jpg|Number 72, box.
File:Med 72 B.jpg|Number 72. "([[Yu-Gi-Oh]]) Yuya's Pendant".
File:Med 72 C.jpg|Number 72. The recipient gave Chris five options; this is the one he chose.
File:Med 72 D.jpg|Number 72, artist's signature.
File:Med 72 E.jpg|Number 72. "Yuya's Pendant".
File:Med 73 A.JPG|Number 73.
File:Med 73 B.JPG|Number 73, close-up.
File:Med 73 C.JPG|Number 73, certificate.
File:Med 73 D.JPG|Number 73. The nose fell off this one too.
File:Med 76 A.jpg|Number 76, [[Megagi La Skunk]].
File:Med 76 C.jpg|Number 76, close-up.
File:Med 76 D.jpg|Number 76, back.
File:Med 76 B.jpg|Number 76, certificate.
File:Med 76 E.jpg|Number 76 on display.
File:Med 78&79 C.png|Number 78, box.
File:Med 78&79 D.png|Number 78, box.
File:Med 78&79 B.png|Number 78.
File:Med 78&79 E.png|Number 79, box.
File:Med 78&79 A.png|Number 79. Plusa, the recipient's Sonichu original character.
File:Med 78&79 F.png|Numbers 78 & 79, certificates.
File:Med 80.jpg|Number 80, [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
File:Med 83 A.jpg|Number 83, box.
File:Med 83 B.jpg|Number 83, "Red" Sonichu, apparently another original character.
File:Med 83 C.jpg|Number 83, back.
File:Med85.png|Number 85.
File:Med 86 A.jpg|Number 86, box.
File:Med 86 B.jpg|Number 86, opening the box.
File:Med 86 C.jpg|Number 86, box.
File:Med 86 D.jpg|Number 86. The ears were broken.
File:Med 86 E.jpg|Number 86, certificate and ears.
File:Med 86 F.jpg|Number 86, back.
File:Med 86 G.jpg|Number 86, more questionable knotting.
File:114 1.jpg|Number 114, box.
File:114 2.jpg|Number 114, mailing address.
File:114 3.jpg|Number 114. "Please Leave Positive Feedback."
File:114 4.jpg|Number 114, certificate.
File:114 5.jpg|Number 114, Rosechu.
File:114 6.jpg|Number 114, with METAL.
File:Med 123.png|Number 123.
File:Med126.jpg|Number 126.
File:Med 139A.jpg|Number 139.
File:Med 139D.jpg|Number 139 being utilized.
File:Med 139B.jpg|Number 139, certificate.
File:Med 139C.jpg|Number 139, signed as "Christine."
File:Med 140J.jpg|Number 140, package.
File:Med 140A.jpg|Number 140, box.
File:Med 140B.jpg|Number 140.
File:Med 140E.jpg|Number 140, another view.
File:Med 140F.jpg|Number 140, back.
File:Med 140G.jpg|Number 140, certificate.
File:Med 140K.jpg|Number 140, with real art.
File:Med 140C.jpg|Illustration included with 140 to make up for international shipping.
File:Med147B.jpg|Number 147, box.
File:Med147E.jpg|Number 147, certificate.
File:Med147C.jpg|Number 147, [[Sammy]].
File:Med147D.jpg|Number 147, another view.
File:Med 147A.jpg|Number 147, back.
File:Med152A.jpg|Number 152, with [[pickles]].
File:Med152B.jpg|Number 152, back.
File:Med152C.jpg|Number 152, certificate.
File:Medallion178.jpg|Number 178, owned by "Kinisis Gaming."
File:Sonichu medallion number 181.jpg|Number 181, from someone named "Dcencia."
File:Asperchu medallion.jpg|Number 182, [[Asperchu]] from someone named "Jeatz Axl."
File:Med 186 A.jpg|Number 186.
File:Med 186 B.jpg|Number 186, as it arrived in its box.
File:Med 186 C.jpg|Number 186, another view.
File:Med 186 D.jpg|Number 186, box.
File:Med 186 E.jpg|Number 186, certificate.
File:Med 192A.jpg|Number 192.
File:Med 192B.jpg|Number 192, back.
File:Med 192C.jpg|Number 192, box and certificate.
File:Med 192D.jpg|Number 192, instructions. Lots of hair.
File:Magi-Chan Sonichu Medallion.jpg|Number 207, [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] owned by "Dcencia."
File:Chris-Chan Sonichu Medallion.jpg|Number 208, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] owned by "Dcencia."
File:HEILFART1.jpg|Number 209, the [[July 2015 Facebook Posts#The Hitler Medallion|Hitler Medallion]].
File:HEILFART2.jpg|Number 209, back.
File:Med 209A.jpg|Number 209, box and certificate.
File:Med X C.jpg|Unknown number, Sonichu.
File:Med X D.png|Certificate for previous medallion.
File:Med X A.jpg|Box for previous.
File:Med X B.jpg|Box for previous.
File:Med instagram.jpg|Unknown number, posted on Instagram.
File:JojoswoonMedallion.jpg|Another Sonichu from someone named "Jojoswoon."
File:Med Oney.png|Medallion belonging to Internet animator OneyNG<ref>[https://twitter.com/oneyng/status/549287362824781824 Twitter]</ref>, co-creator of ''Hellbenders'' and friend of [[Sonichu the Animated Series|Spazkid]].
File:Med divintrial.png|Twitter user "divintrial" with his medallion.
File:Med cosplay.png|Cosplayer with authentic medallion.
File:Cosplayer with Medallion.jpg|Presumably the same cosplayer having a blast.
File:Medallion Customer.jpg|He can feel the cosmos.
File:Medallion_251.jpg|A happy owner of 251. Couldn't ask for a better birthday gift.
File:Med 254.jpg| Medallion 254. This one had hair in it.
</gallery></center>}}

A few purchasers included videos:

Number 23: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5HFzNUQREQ

Number 25: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPfpZ6v5JK0

Number 178: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dFXTUFM3RI

Number 199: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP5HANhgZaU&feature=youtu.be

===Plan to outsource production===
[[File:Medallion making framework.jpg|thumb|200px|A blueprint for the Medallion]]
Around [[October 2017]], Chris said that he wanted to have people produce medallions for his Sonichu merchandise business.<ref>[[CLog Special - PATREON & MORE]]</ref> In [[CLog 10172017 - Medallion Making]], he demonstrated how to create a medallion. He also displayed a blueprint, which has no practical purpose, as there are [[CADD|no labels or measurements]]. Instead, Chris likely uses this as a stencil to shape pieces of [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]] into the medallion, as evidenced by the scuff marks on the "blueprints".

On 11 [[December 2020]], Chris revealed that he had successfully outsourced the production of the Sonichu medallions. These medallions were produced by the group of [[enablers]] known as [[Praetor]]. Chris also stated that some of the profits would go directly to him, although the exact amount is unknown.<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power
*[[Christine Doll]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}
{{BusinessList}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Medallions

2021-01-15T15:11:04Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Origins and purpose */ The video referred to is actually "All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend", not "So Need a Cute Girl".

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Never retiring the medallion, Ever.|[[Chris]], February 2020<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts]]</ref>}}

[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|Oh yes, he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

The '''Medallions''' (also called "'''Medals'''" by [[Chris]]) were a result of Chris's infatuation with his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Due to the frequency of wearing his medallions in videos, photos and in public, it has become one of his more memorable characteristics along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]] and more recently his [[Tomgirl Saga|tom-girl appearance]].<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>"[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]"</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref> Although Chris's habit of wearing the medallion at all times has tapered off starting in [[2009]], he still wears the medallion in public as recently as [[August 2019]]. He does not plan ever to retire it, despite its degrading condition.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-6015357 Chris rebuffs suggestion to replace medallion, 15 February 2020]</ref>

Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters and previously produced them in larger numbers for purchase through [[eBay]]. All previous and current iterations have been made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]], and the quality varies from medallion to medallion.

In 2016, Chris made [[Christine Doll|a custom doll figure of himself]], based on a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' toy. He has been seen holding it up in videos and taking it out in public (visible from his purse), which suggests that the doll is a new spin on the medallion concept. More recently, Chris has often been seen wearing the medallion alongside his [[unicorn cosplay]] and [[Z-Ring]], most notably in a photo of him at [[Cville Pride]] published in the local newspaper ''Daily Progress'' in September 2017.

__TOC__

==Origins and purpose==

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion.

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].|Chris, on the [[CWCipedia]]<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>
}}

[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|200px|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|200px|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]


Although not explicitly stated as inspiration, the Medallion of Fail is similar in concept to the medallions worn by the main characters in ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Underground]]'', which originally aired a year beforehand.

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his "[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]" video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref><s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris wrote on his [[MySpace]] profile in [[2008]] that he considers the medallion a signifier which makes him "Very Easy to find in public"<ref name="myspace">"I am Very Easy to find in public; I usually wear my Sonichu Medallion." [[MySpace#July 2008]]</ref>, suggesting that he may use the medallion as a kind of mobile [[attraction sign]]: a conversation piece to invite potential [[sweetheart]]s to ask about Sonichu, giving Chris an excuse to launch into a tirade about [[Chris and his ego|his famous creation which has made him]] [[True and Loyal Fanbase|beloved across the world]].

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he most likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The Medallions==
===Sonichu Medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Yes, he even wore it to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation...]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent Powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].

As Chris explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], his medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that, in order for a video to be TRUE and HONEST, it requires him to wear the medallion during its filming. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|videos he posted confessing his homosexuality]], since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associate's degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as [[2004#May|May 2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it in his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain, it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures, they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anonymous commentator on 4chan's /v/ board offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]], when a team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s former owner/webmaster, Girlvinyl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her", Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] explaining that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]. During this same exchange, he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case, he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive Max or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but Chris himself has confirmed that he indeed inserted the shreds of the medallion into his ass and later on expelled them into the toilet.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> Chris thinks that [[Bob Chandler|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of 2011, the medallion was hanging on his wall, as seen in the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video.

For several months in [[2014]], it was speculated that this medallion was destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in Chris's house on 10 [[January 2014]]. However, photos from [[July 2014]] confirmed that it was spared destruction.

The medallion was shattered when Chris accidentally dropped it on the floor at [[The End Games]] in April 2017.

====Mark 4 and beyond====
[[File:VDAy shirt.jpeg|thumb|100|The filthy medallion in February 2020.]]

The latest medallion, with numerous modifications made to it over the years (see Modified Medallion section below), has become increasingly discolored from late-2019 onward.

Chris inadvertently revealed the reason in a [[Discord]] comment:

{{quote|Celestial Key, Chrysoberyl, Medallion, and Lemurian Seed go into the shower and bed with me as well And combined with my Larimar Stone, I've personally met and made allies with the Goddess of Lemuria.|Chris on his collection of [[magic stones]].}}

As Crayola Model Magic is porous when hardened, while Chris showers with it on, the medallion absorbs grime such as soap scum and skin cells. The surface of the Mark 4 medallion has also become increasingly uneven and discolored over time due to frequent contact with hot water.

 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

The [[Rosechu]] medallion is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. It was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Only one Rosechu medallion existed, until Chris started making them for sale.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he admitted himself.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough whilst wearing the evil medallion, then whoever he's angered at will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|thumb|left|Baka Dana Watashi!]]
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|thumb|Back of the medallion.]]
Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.
{{Clear}}

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|left|The Medallion of Win in all its glory.]]
In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's [[Magical Man|mysterious friend]] is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and hung it up on his wall. The medal still hung on Chris's wall until the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire]] of January 2014, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris wouldn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about. Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].

On 2 [[August 2014]] Chris confirmed that this medallion has been destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in his house on 10 [[January 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Fan items lost in the fire]]</ref>
{{clear}}

===Modified Medallion===
[[File:MAGfest stuff2.jpg|thumb|200px|Modified to include elements from Sonichite and ''Neptunia''.]]

Chris upgraded his medallion in June 2017 to include [[Sonichite]], by placing a painted sticker on the back of it, channeling [[Pokémon]]'s Mega Stone power-up item.

In January 2018, he altered it again, this time to include a Share Crystal, fashioned from a Purple Rupee he had bought at [[MAGfest]].<ref>[[January 2018 tweets]]</ref> Share Crystals are an integral part of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'s lore, representing faith in CPU goddesses and allowing them to recharge. Chris had made "Share your shares" a frequent rallying cry when he discovered the game.<ref>[[November 2017 Facebook posts]]</ref>

===Magic stones===
{{see also|Magic stones}}

[[File:CWCmay2020.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris wearing his [[magic stones]] along with the medallion.]]
[[File:24 03 20 Back of medallion.jpg|thumb|left|Magic stone on the back of the medallion]]
[[Emily]] noted that around summer 2019, Chris was wearing a pouch of rocks around his neck in addition to the medallion, believing the rocks to have mystical powers<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5107905</ref>.
[[File:September28TwitterMedallion2.jpg|thumb|Damaged medallion in 2020]]
{{quote|Once he told me his neck hurts and when I told him it was probably because of his rocks he gave me then 1000 yard stare and I could tell his brain was malfunctioning for a response.|Emily}}

Chris later purchased a set of containers for the stones to hang alongside his medallion.

{{Clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
[[Image:Abused cat.jpg|thumb|Poor kitty...]]

Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely the requirement that he must wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there is only one medallion that has not been obtained by trolls, shoved up Chris's ass, or otherwise destroyed.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed by Chris===
*Sonichu v.2

===Destroyed in the 14BC Fire===
*Asperchu

===Destroyed by accident===
*Sonichu v.3

==Hiatus and the return==
[[File:PickingUpLesbiansAtTheEndGames.jpeg|thumb|200px|Old habits die hard.]]

Chris began to move away from his medallions in [[2010]]. He wore one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]], and again in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). After that, Chris was not photographed wearing the medallion in either public or private settings for nearly four years. This abandonment coincided with his adoption of [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] attire; the medallion apparently did not fit his new image, though he eventually returned to wearing it.

Even while Chris had given up wearing the medallion, it still constituted an important part of his identity. In [[November 2012]], Chris made a Kreo (off-brand [[Lego]] sets made by [[Transformers|Hasbro]]) edition of himself wearing a tiny paper medallion for his [[Facebook]] image, suggesting that Chris hadn't totally given up on [[Sonichu_(comic)|Sonichu]]. The figure showed up again on his Facebook page in mid-2014, this time with a female friend (soon to be revealed as a new [[Catherine|sweetheart]]) wearing a Rosechu medallion.

In [[July 2014]], Chris sold several [[Autographed Photos|autographed photos of himself]] on [[eBay]], and some buyers requested that he wear the Sonichu medallion. As noted previously in this article, it was speculated that the third Sonichu medallion had been consumed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in his house on 10 [[January 2014]]. The photos which they received confirmed that the Sonichu v.3 medallion had indeed survived the fire,<ref>[[:File:Received_autographed_photos_-_5_Jul_2014.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Chris with medallion - July 2014.jpg]]</ref> but Chris later confirmed that the Asperchu medallion had been destroyed in the flames.<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>

In October 2015, Chris was spotted in public, at [[The End Games]] card shop, wearing the Medallion. He was also wearing it at [[Cville Pride]] a year later. Interestingly, Chris seems to now exclusively wear the medallion in public, despite no longer wearing it in his videos. This trend lends credence to Chris's previous statement that he wears the medallion so that [[Boyfriend-free girl|friends and well-wishers]] can identify him in public<ref name="myspace"/>.

To promote his $12,000 eBay auction for [[The Classic]] in [[April 2017]], Chris donned the medallion on video once more in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]. He wore it to events that year, such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] and [[BronyCon]].

<center><gallery>
File:133696094632.jpg|Appearance from 11 [[November 2010]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|YOUR MEDAL IS MADE OUT OF '''PAPER'''!
File:HOW MANY GENDERS ARE THERE.png|In 2016.
File:Chris posing with S-chu Ball, Nov 2017.jpg ‎|In 2017.
File:Our signatures00001.png|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]] and the latter the medallion.
</gallery></center>

==The medallion goes mass-market==
[[File:Chris with medallion - July 2014.jpg|thumb|right|The medallion's return in 2014.]]

===Overview===
On 12 September 2014, Chris announced on his [[September 2014 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] page that he would be making and selling replica medallions on [[eBay]] for $30 each. He expressed a willingness to make not only Sonichu and Rosechu medals, but also "most any of the rest of the characters, or a custom of your choosing." His first listing of 55 sold out quickly, and he was forced to relist it. By the time sales were temporarily halted on December 6, he had succeeded in selling at least 114. He re-listed 30 medallions in February 2015, and these too quickly sold out. In June 2015, 16 more medallions appeared on his eBay account, also selling out within a day. Photos indicated that he had extended the run of medallions to 300. In July he sold a few medallion/[[Amiibo]] bundle sets, and in August listed 20 more standalone medallions.

===eBay Description===
{{quotebox|
Straight from the creator and artist, Christian Weston Chandler (myself), a Fresh molded, coloured and certified medallion of Sonichu, Rosechu, most any of the rest of the characters, or a custom of your choosing. It WILL be shipped in a sealed wrap marked "Fragile". My signature will be written on the backs if each medallion. A Personal Certificate of Authenticity will be included and a medallion will be attached to its back. NO LOCAL PICKUP AVAILABLE, at the Personal Risk of myself, the Original Creator and Artist.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Disclaimer: When ordering a medallion, or more than one, please specify which you would like: Sonichu or Rosechu. A medallion of the other cannon main characters may be requested for your purchase. Your own fan Sonichu or Rosechu character(s) version may also be requested and suggested. Should I find the suggested outside character offensive, I shall inform you and accept another suggestion or default to the Prime Sonichu or Rosechu character(s) for your order; I am usually easy on accepting of custom requests at first. The rings inserted into the medallions are smaller than a typical keychain ring. And the necklace for them will be set-length blue leather straps, tied at the ring, for best fit around most head and neck sizes. The flower on the photographed Rosechu medallion is not included by default; if you would like a flower added onto your Rosechu medallion, you may request it in your message at the time of, or following, your purchase. Also, please allow up to two weeks for creation of each medallion, and should any delays come up, I will inform you via eBay Private Message Individually, or make a public post on my Facebook page. And Final individual molding creation may or will vary or differ from those in the above photographs.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Take Heart and UNDERSTAND!!! There will NOT be ANY altercations made to the medallions AT ALL. The medallion(s) WILL be mailed via USPS First Class and Expedited with Delivery Confirmation and a Tracking Number and marked "Fragile; Handle With Care". I have NO obligation to make any personal appearances upon my own personal risk.
}}

For the July 2015 relisting, he added the following paragraph to this description. He did not, however, alter the description to reflect his supposed name change to Christine.

{{quotebox|
<nowiki>**</nowiki>NOTE, July 7, 2015: I have already molded, painted, certified and boxed individually, Sonichu Medallions equal to the maximum quantity available that I have listed right here, right now. So, everyone who requests Sonichu will get their shipped as early as the following day. Custom Orders are still an option, as described in the description, but still Please Allow up to Two Weeks for individual creation and shipment. Thank you.}}

Chris posted images of Sonichu and Rosechu medallion samples and the manufacturing components.
<center><gallery>
File:Medallions 1.JPG
File:Medallions 2.JPG
File:Medallions 3.JPG
File:Medallions 4.JPG
</gallery></center>

===eBay Questions and Answers===
{{email|
Hi Christian! I have bought an ALF drawing from you and I want to know if I can have a medallion made for a Christmas present. Are you able to do one of Mega Man? Or of Alpha 5 from the Power Rangers? Please let me know!
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes, I can do both medals like that.
}}

{{email|
Hey there, I'm still trying to figure out which medallion I might want, but I was wondering if maybe it would be possible to request a Magi-chan or Punchy medallion? Or maybe since Halloween is coming up, is a Vamprosa possible as well? I would love that! Thanks in advance!!
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes, any of those characters are most doable.
}}

{{email|
Is this a limited edition offer? Are the medallions engraves with serial numbers? Also i'm curious as to what quantity you can produce. I'm interested in purchasing whole sale and was wondering if you can produce 200 units which would be sold in my business.
}}
{{EmailReply|
Well, the numbers are written/engraved in the back of each medallion, and they each come with a personal matching Certificate of Authenticity. I personally hand craft the medallions with heart and soul. To make an order as large as 200, I would definitely require the total amount of $30 X 200 medals, upfront and sent to my PayPal account, which the email address to which can be found upon checking out from one of my listings, along with an email or eBay PM to inform me of such a large order.
}}

{{email|
Hello. The original medallions that you wore were made using Crayola Model Magic and acrylic paint. Are you using the same materials to make these nice items? Have a pleasant day.
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes, I am using the same, but fresh, materials.
}}

{{email|
Is the item autographed with either marker or an engraving?
}}
{{EmailReply|
Permanent Ink Marker, and the Certificate will also have my personal Signature written onto it as well, but in RSVP Pentel Pen Ink.
}}

{{email|
How big are these Medallions and how much do they weigh? I don't want to risk getting weird stares while I wear it if it's too bulky.
}}
{{EmailReply|
Weight: feels like a few ounces; definitely less than a pound.
}}

{{email|
You say give you two weeks to make and ship our order. Does it really take you two weeks to make these? Or is this just an estimate? Also, how big are these, on average? I would like to wear mine all over, but if it's too [text missing]
}}
{{EmailReply|
Two weeks is an estimate, counting the time it would take to make a lot of them, depending on the total ordered quantity. They measure 3.5 inches X 3.5 inches square, and are a quarter inch thick, plus another quarter inch [text missing]
}}

{{email|
Can we request medallions of minor characters?
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes
}}

{{email|
Is it made out of Crayola Model Magic?
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes.
}}

===Etsy Questions and Answers===
A fan's particular requests for custom medallions in [[September 2015]] required a brief conversation:

{{quoteboxgreen|What is Robee's girlfriend's name and how did she meet her?}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|That is still yet to be determined.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Im asking cuz I wanna order 4 custom medallions.

1 Of me

1 of Trunks from Dragonball GT (not Z or Super)

1 Of Robee

and

1 of Robee's girlfriend

itd be good to have a name and history to go with the face.

its not Mimi is it?}}

{{quotebox|It is definitely not Mimi. I will get back to you on Robee's sweetheart. And I can definitely fill that custom medallion order set you described. I will have your last order shipped out very soon. Thank you for your continued patronage.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|You're welcome! Does Robee have autism? What kind of stuff does she like to do in her spare time?}}

{{quotebox|Robee is Not autistic. In her spare time, she likes to be active, rather it's going out for a run, trying to meet the speed to make her own Zapping Booms (like her daddy), mingling and hanging out with her girl friends (her sweetheart is part of that friendship circle). Or spending time alone with her sweetheart, sharing secrets, having fun, and the private matters. She, Robee's Sweetheart, really enjoys the best of both the tribbing, the traditional, and the other things. Robee also enjoy playing the Wii Sports and Sonic/Mario Olympic games, writing out her thoughts in her diary, and self-reflecting and meditate. She is no stranger to a party either.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Does Robee turn into Ultra Sonichu or a woman scorned like Rosechu? Also, what Robee's reason behind becoming a tomgirl?}}

{{quotebox|She is a Female Soul trapped in a male body, and she really likes doing nearly everything with style, flare, and functional-to-her dashin' fashion.}}
[[File:Medallions.jpg|thumb|Sonichu sampler.]]
===Facebook Notices===
As with other aspects of his eBay business, Chris frequently made relevant announcements on his Facebook page. The initial notice:

{{quotebox|12 September 2014
I am starting on making the medals for sale. I have the materials to make them now.
}}

Chris described the production process in detail in order to justify the two weeks he required to ship a medallion:

{{quotebox|25(?) September 2014
I would like to announce that I am most grateful for y'all's business on the Medallions. And such.

Also, just to let everyone know Why I estimate Two Weeks for creation of a medal or more....

First, I have to be in the mood and mindset for creation as best as I am able, or otherwise not busy with life details or chores and errands. Then I have to Mold them according to my own specifications, including being able to fit into the 3.5" square boxes with cotton puddings per box. Then they all have to air dry overnight. Then I paint the details, let that dry, and then use a permanent Ink find point marker to hand write my signature, (c), and production number. Followed by measuring the lengths of the neck straps from the longer leather strips, thread them through the rings of each medal as tie the two ends together. Then I print or photocopy the small square blank certificates, fill them each appropriately with their respective medal, and then laminate the certificates. And then there's the package wrapping, addressing And shipping them out at my local USPS Post Office. Around then, I would add the tracking numbers respectively as well.

And with that, I am making my promise now that from the first week's order amount if over thirty medals, I will have them all ready to ship, and ship them all on Friday the 27th!

Thank you all for your patronage and your patience. Have a good and safe day.
}}

Chris was happy when the first run of the medallions sold out.

{{quotebox|1 October 2014
My, My! The Medallion Listing ended with the last quantity number sold. No worries, people, I will have it relisted ASAP, when eBay refreshes my monthly Listing Allowance.

In the meantime, everyone can still get a Medallion for Free with purchase of a Framed Piece, Commission with the Works, and a Colored Commission. And I will now offer a Two-For-One Special through the B&W Listing; Free Medal with Purchase of a B&W Commission, and y'all may request a Medallion in lieu of a Commission Drawing. That is like buying Two Medallions for 1 2/3 of the total price.

I will extend the offer until when I am able to Relist the Medallions. I sincerely apologize for any inconveniences, and I thank you all for your understanding and patience.
}}

===The Mr. Smith Situation===
Among those who ordered a medallion from Chris was one Mr. Smith. There is some dispute concerning the origins of the conflict between Chris and Mr. Smith, and whether or not Mr. Smith's complaints were justified.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-09-21-14-chris-promises-all-the-medallions-will-be-shipped-by-9-27.4991/page-4#post-349366</ref><ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-9-30-angry-eyed-sonichu-medallions.5107/page-10#post-361784</ref><ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/my-experience-with-christian-featuring-a-new-original-art-piece.5501/</ref><ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-9-27-14-chris-blames-the-victim.5070/page-12#post-357047</ref>

In [[September 2014]], Mr. Smith ordered a Sonichu medallion from Chris on eBay, who stated that it would take two weeks to ship. After two weeks passed, Mr. Smith, believing that the two-week period meant the medallion would be created and shipped during that time, contacted Chris, who stated he didn't make the medallion yet and lacked the money to ship it. This resulted in Mr. Smith filing a claim against him on 18 September, thereby freezing his PayPal account. Furious, Chris sent several angry messages to Mr. Smith pleading to lift the case.

{{EmailReply|
Your medal will be shipped tomorrow. PLEASE CLOSE YOUR CASE IMMEDIATELY; I NEED THE MONEY OUT OF THE LIMBO YOU HAVE FORCED IT INTO, SO I CAN SHIP IT AND THE REMAINDER!!! - jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Listen to me, Buster! I told you I needed up to two weeks for the creation of the medals in the Listing! And if there is a delay, I would let everyone know. See attached image for WHY I NEED THE TIME!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

In for you to get YOUR medal at all right now and Sooner is for you to Close Your Case and let me have the money back! You are being a Major Cyber-Bully and a God Damed Internet Troll right now! If you want to redeem yourself and be forgiven, you WILL give me the money Back in Closing your Case against me RIGHT NOW!!! PLEASE!!!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

You will get your medal, but I NEED THE MONEY, Please! Why are you being a damn Bully?!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

At this point, Chris doxxed Mr. Smith on Facebook.

{{quotebox|26 September 2014
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT OPEN ANY EBAY CASES AGAINST ME!!! When someone does that, it forces the amount removed into Limbo from my PayPal, which risks pushing it into the Red, as when it is forced untie red, an OVERDRAFT FEE is charged against me, and when I have Negative Money in my PayPal Account, I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SHIP ANYTHING!!! Daniel, your medal has just been shipped, ad the other two people, yours and the current remainder will be shipped tomorrow, or NOT IF YOU DO NOT CLOSE YOUR CASES AGAISNT ME AND GIVE ME THE MONEY BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

Do Not Be So Damn Impatient and Greedy!!! God Dang It!!!}}

To which he added:
{{quotebox|
Either tomorrow or on the First of October; depending if the two people ([omitted] closed his case; very much appreciated) close Their casses immediately or not! UGH!!!

[Omitted] of Portland, Oregon, AKA: username: [omitted]. And [omitted] of Lashmeet, West Virginia, AKA: username: [omitted].

Bullies! They're being Damn Bullies!!! Ugh!!!
}}

Mr. Smith was upset. At this point, the credibility of Smith's complaints became less important.

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?! You just posted my name and where I live on your Facebook. I know you deleted it but someone screenshotted it and showed it to me. Now I'm getting prank phone called. I'm reporting you to Ebay RIGHT NOW....
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I am very sorry about trolling you like that, I will have your medal shipped tomorrow, most definitely.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

Your medallion has been sent; you may check the Tracking Number; PLEASE Close Your Case Immediately.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

No. This is far from over. I spent an hour on the phone with Ebay last night and now they're getting involved with the investigation. I have proof that you did it and some people even want me to go to the cops with it.
}}

{{EmailReply|
Look, I am Really Sorry about that; I was under a lot of stress, and what I did was wrong. Please end this chaos. I do not want any trouble.
}}

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

You're only saying that you're sorry because you're in trouble. You've not even attempted to make the situation up to me.
}}

Chris tried to resolve the problem with a Facebook post.

{{quotebox|27 September 2014
I DID make a comment where I named two people who opened cases against me, plummeting my PayPal account closer to the Red Again! I was under a LOT of Stress! The One Remaining who is refusing to Close his Case is causing me more grief and stress enough that could kill me with a heart attack or a stroke.

Saying his and her names in the comment was very wrong of me, and I understand what I did was a Trolling-Stupid Act; that is Not Me, and [[Chris and remorse|I am Very, Truly Sorry]] for doing that. But I had deleted shortly after, and yet it wasn't quick enough for the REAL TROLLS AND CYBER-BULLIES to screen cap it and forcing it against me into even more stress and trouble!

[[Chris and negotiation|Can't we just forgive and forget?]] Or are the lot of you soo corrupted, that you have lost all feeling in your hearts, and sold your own souls and self-beings to a form of a devil that keeps you all dragged down in front of your monitors day in and day out with only sole and pitiful purposes of needlessly torturing EVERYBODY ELSE, regardless of Innocent or Guilty or In-Between?

Good Grief!!!

--:( feeling drained.
}}

Chris hoped this would resolve the issue, and sent two private messages to Mr. Smith:

{{EmailReply|
I just made a public apology in full detail from my exhausted heart and soul on my Facebook. I am NOT RICH! My mother and I are just getting by as it is. You would gain nothing from me or my family in any court of law or whatever. [[Michael Snyder]] knows what I am talking about; he thought it would be a get-rich-quick scheme for him, but he was very wrong, and he had to go out of business of His [[The GAMe PLACe|Hobby PLace]] afterwards. You think about that.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
And I will also add that you are torturing a [[Homos#Chris the lesbian|Lesbian and a Transgender]], as well as an [[Autism|Autistic Individual]]; the HRC and Autism Facilities would be very interested in hearing about my being abused by Your constant inaction, bullying on me and lack of cooperation of a heartfelt conclusion and settlement. Think about that a well.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

This did not satisfy Mr. Smith.

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

I don't care that you're gay and autistic. You intentionally tried to harm me and you're going to suffer the consequences.
}}

{{EmailReply|
You Hurt Me First and worst by pushing my finances towards the Red with great risk of getting an Overdraft charged against me! This fight is needless and nonsense; what's done is done. I have most sincerely apologized, I shipped your Medal Out Today! Please Just Stop Attacking Me!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

At this point Mr. Smith received a Sonichu medallion from Chris, but it came with an angry expression. The certificate was marred by black smudges. Mr. Smith complained that it was not what he had asked for. Chris summarized the dispute on Facebook:

{{quotebox|30 September 2014
I want to make it publicly known to everyone that Mr. Smith (to hold his first name on identity sake) is being a further bully by making a false case against me. The Medallion I had sent him is a Sonichu Medallion, but because of how his actions against me made me feel and all, his Medallion has an Angry Expression, where the eyes' whites were painted orange, with a flame look on the irises, and a most Angry facial expression. He is claiming it to be a Blue something, possibly like the ONE Yawning Squirtle Medallion that was order by another (Female) customer.

His case is very false, and I want the record to show that the Only Thing Blue about his medallion is the Neck Strap, just like most everyone else's medallions. The actual medal is of the same Sonichu face shape, but with the angry expression I have stated just now. Please make Mr. Smith stop Cyber-Bullying and Trolling Me with his constant hold on the $30 that is still very much in Limbo currently.
}}

A number of Chris's fans were concerned that the certificate was smudged because Chris had spit on it or worse. Chris reassured one fan:

{{EmailReply|
I have never spit on anything I have shipped out. The only recent mishap was black paint being spilt onto a couple of blank certificates.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Chris and Mr. Smith continued to argue via private messages.

{{EmailReply|
You must be mistaken; your medallion is NOT BLUE at all. And I was very careful of sending you the right medallion, which in your case, because of how you made me feel, I gave the Sonichu face an enraged, angry expression. I do not do Refunds, because what I sell are Customized Items; they do not resell, period. I am under the impression you are just further bullying me for your own perspective of revenge. The decision is final. Good Day.
}}

{{EmailReply|
I did not send you the wrong medallion, I PURPOSELY molded, Drew and colored it to [[Chris and anger|BE ANGRY at YOU]], for your constant stubborn attitude and Bullying. And you certainly are bucking up to be worthy of my own anger as well. Accurate Item; MADE CUSTOM JUST FOR YOU, [omitted]! Hmmpf!
}}

Mr. Smith still refused to lift his eBay case against Chris, and demanded satisfaction. Chris agreed to send a new, unadulterated medallion as well as a free commissioned drawing, which Mr. Smith requested to be a portrait of himself with Sonichu.

The illustration, dated 13 October, turned out to be a mockery of Mr. Smith. While Mr. Smith had sent photos of himself to Chris for reference, Chris drew Mr. Smith with a "troll face"; depicted a bucket of ice about to topple onto his head; and drew Sonichu saying "You just couldn't let up and be patient, could you, Mr. Smith?" Chris also wrote on the drawing, "YOU PUT ME ON A [[tugboat|SINKING SHIP]], KILLING MY FINANCES."

Still unsatisfied and persisting with his eBay complaint, Mr. Smith demanded that Chris make a [[To Mr. Smith|video apology]]. Because Chris was not wearing his medallion while making this apology, Mr. Smith suspected that it was not True and Honest. Chris responded:

{{EmailReply|
I am for real, and I do not have to wear my medallion to prove myself. I have done more than your money's worth for you. I am the real Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA. And you can best tell who I am from my Face. I am sick of kissing your pitiful ass. Now, you can kiss my [[un-clit|cooch]]!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Ultimately, eBay decided to refund the $30 to Mr. Smith. In the end, he got the following loot for free:
<center><gallery>
File:Mrsmithangryeyessonichu.jpg|"Angry eyes" Sonichu.
File:Authentically autistic.JPG|The smeared certificate.
File:Med 73 B.JPG|The second, unadulterated medallion.
File:Chris's Commission to Mr. Smith (compressed).jpg|The commissioned drawing.
</gallery></center>

Needless to say, Chris did not come out of this fiasco looking as good as he [[Chris and his ego|probably thought he did]].

===The Received Medallions===
Recipients noted that the medallions were surprisingly lightweight. A number had parts broken off; Chris routinely included a note that these could be fixed with Krazy Glue. This note was hand-written at first, but eventually he created a typed version, complete with misspelling. Another common problem was that Chris placed medallions in boxes while they were still wet or before the clay had set, resulting in smearing and fading. Some had fingerprints, or arrived with disturbing foreign materials. In 2015, he began signing his name as "Christine," but was too lazy to print up new certificates to reflect the name change.

{{collapsible
|Gallery of medallions, thus far
|<center><gallery>

File:Med 12 B.jpg|Number 12, box.
File:Med 12 C.jpg|Number 12, box.
File:Med 12 D.jpg|Number 12, box.
File:Med 12 A.jpg|Number 12, [[Yawning Squirtle]].
File:Med 12 E.jpg|Number 12, back.
File:Med 12 G.jpg|Chris's lack of knot tying know-how is evident.
File:Med 13 A.jpg|Number 13, box.
File:Med 13 B.jpg|Number 13, box.
File:Sonchu.jpg|Number 13, front.
File:Med 13 D.jpg|Number 13, back.
File:Med 18 box.JPG|Number 19, EVIL BOX.
File:Mrsmithangryeyessonichu.jpg|Number 19, Mr. Smith's medallion.
File:Authentically autistic.JPG|Number 19, smeared certificate.
File:Med 23.jpg|Number 23. Recipient said the nose fell off and the signature was illegible.
File:Med 25 A.jpg|Number 25, elegantly displayed.
File:Med 25 B.jpg|Number 25, close-up.
File:Med 27 A.jpg|Number 27.
File:Med 27 B.jpg|Number 27, certificate.
File:Med 34.png|Number 34.
File:Med 35.jpg|Number 35.
File:Med Y.jpg|Number 38.
File:Med 41 A.jpg|Number 41.
File:Med 41 B.jpg|Number 41, back.
File:Med 41 C.jpg|Number 41, certificate.
File:Med 41 D.jpg|Number 41, "Care and [[Chris and English|Maintainence]]".
File:Med 41 E.jpg|Number 41, Chris is not very prompt (note the [[A-Logging|a-loggish]] comment).
File:Med 41 G.jpg|Number 41's satisfied customer.
File:Med 46 A.JPG|Number 46, box.
File:Med 46 C.JPG|Number 46.
File:Med 46 B.JPG|Number 46, back.
File:Med 59 A.png|Number 59.
File:Med 59 B.png|Number 59, back. [[Chris and art|Note the smearing]].
File:Med 59 C.png|Number 59, certificate.
File:Med 60 A.jpg|Number 60, box.
File:Med 60 B.jpg|Number 60, box.
File:Med 60 C.jpg|Number 60, the complete package.
File:Med 60 D.jpg|Number 60, close-up.
File:Med 60 E.jpg|Number 60, another picture.
File:Med 60 F.jpg|Number 60, yet another view.
File:Med 60 G.jpg|Number 60, certificate.
File:Med 61 A.jpg|Number 61, box.
File:Med 61 B.jpg|Number 61, box.
File:Med 61 C.jpg|Number 61, as packaged. Recipient said it [[Axe|smelled bad]].
File:Med 61 D.jpg|Number 61, [[Wild Sonichu]].
File:Med 61 E.jpg|Number 61, back. Typical smearing.
File:Med 61 F.jpg|Number 61, certificate, with paint smears.
File:Med 61 G.jpg|Number 61, "Care and Maintainence".
File:Med 61 H.jpg|Number 61, fingerprints.
File:Med 61 I.jpg|Number 61, hair.
File:Med 62C.png|Number 62, box.
File:Med 62A.png|Number 62 with certificate.
File:Med 62B.png|Number 62's satisfied customer.
File:Meds 64 & 65 B.png|Numbers 64 and 65.
File:Meds 64 & 65 A.png|Numbers 64 and 65, back.
File:Med 66 B.jpg|Number 66, certificate.
File:Med 66 A.jpg|Number 66.
File:Med Z.JPG|Number 68, Wild Sonichu.
File:Med 69 C.jpg|Number 69, box.
File:Med 69 D.jpg|Number 69. Box had "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|strange brownish stains]]" on it.
File:Med 69 A.jpg|Number 69, [[Robbie Sonichu]].
File:Med 69 G.jpg|Number 69, back.
File:Med 69 E.jpg|Number 69, the complete package.
File:Med 69 F.jpg|Number 69. The nose fell off.
File:Med 69 B.jpg|Number 69. Recipient identified this as "[[Chris and health|a booger attached to a lock of hair]]" found inside the box.
File:Med 70.JPG|Number 70. The recipient requested that Chris sign it.
File:Med 72 A.jpg|Number 72, box.
File:Med 72 B.jpg|Number 72. "([[Yu-Gi-Oh]]) Yuya's Pendant".
File:Med 72 C.jpg|Number 72. The recipient gave Chris five options; this is the one he chose.
File:Med 72 D.jpg|Number 72, artist's signature.
File:Med 72 E.jpg|Number 72. "Yuya's Pendant".
File:Med 73 A.JPG|Number 73.
File:Med 73 B.JPG|Number 73, close-up.
File:Med 73 C.JPG|Number 73, certificate.
File:Med 73 D.JPG|Number 73. The nose fell off this one too.
File:Med 76 A.jpg|Number 76, [[Megagi La Skunk]].
File:Med 76 C.jpg|Number 76, close-up.
File:Med 76 D.jpg|Number 76, back.
File:Med 76 B.jpg|Number 76, certificate.
File:Med 76 E.jpg|Number 76 on display.
File:Med 78&79 C.png|Number 78, box.
File:Med 78&79 D.png|Number 78, box.
File:Med 78&79 B.png|Number 78.
File:Med 78&79 E.png|Number 79, box.
File:Med 78&79 A.png|Number 79. Plusa, the recipient's Sonichu original character.
File:Med 78&79 F.png|Numbers 78 & 79, certificates.
File:Med 80.jpg|Number 80, [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
File:Med 83 A.jpg|Number 83, box.
File:Med 83 B.jpg|Number 83, "Red" Sonichu, apparently another original character.
File:Med 83 C.jpg|Number 83, back.
File:Med85.png|Number 85.
File:Med 86 A.jpg|Number 86, box.
File:Med 86 B.jpg|Number 86, opening the box.
File:Med 86 C.jpg|Number 86, box.
File:Med 86 D.jpg|Number 86. The ears were broken.
File:Med 86 E.jpg|Number 86, certificate and ears.
File:Med 86 F.jpg|Number 86, back.
File:Med 86 G.jpg|Number 86, more questionable knotting.
File:114 1.jpg|Number 114, box.
File:114 2.jpg|Number 114, mailing address.
File:114 3.jpg|Number 114. "Please Leave Positive Feedback."
File:114 4.jpg|Number 114, certificate.
File:114 5.jpg|Number 114, Rosechu.
File:114 6.jpg|Number 114, with METAL.
File:Med 123.png|Number 123.
File:Med126.jpg|Number 126.
File:Med 139A.jpg|Number 139.
File:Med 139D.jpg|Number 139 being utilized.
File:Med 139B.jpg|Number 139, certificate.
File:Med 139C.jpg|Number 139, signed as "Christine."
File:Med 140J.jpg|Number 140, package.
File:Med 140A.jpg|Number 140, box.
File:Med 140B.jpg|Number 140.
File:Med 140E.jpg|Number 140, another view.
File:Med 140F.jpg|Number 140, back.
File:Med 140G.jpg|Number 140, certificate.
File:Med 140K.jpg|Number 140, with real art.
File:Med 140C.jpg|Illustration included with 140 to make up for international shipping.
File:Med147B.jpg|Number 147, box.
File:Med147E.jpg|Number 147, certificate.
File:Med147C.jpg|Number 147, [[Sammy]].
File:Med147D.jpg|Number 147, another view.
File:Med 147A.jpg|Number 147, back.
File:Med152A.jpg|Number 152, with [[pickles]].
File:Med152B.jpg|Number 152, back.
File:Med152C.jpg|Number 152, certificate.
File:Medallion178.jpg|Number 178, owned by "Kinisis Gaming."
File:Sonichu medallion number 181.jpg|Number 181, from someone named "Dcencia."
File:Asperchu medallion.jpg|Number 182, [[Asperchu]] from someone named "Jeatz Axl."
File:Med 186 A.jpg|Number 186.
File:Med 186 B.jpg|Number 186, as it arrived in its box.
File:Med 186 C.jpg|Number 186, another view.
File:Med 186 D.jpg|Number 186, box.
File:Med 186 E.jpg|Number 186, certificate.
File:Med 192A.jpg|Number 192.
File:Med 192B.jpg|Number 192, back.
File:Med 192C.jpg|Number 192, box and certificate.
File:Med 192D.jpg|Number 192, instructions. Lots of hair.
File:Magi-Chan Sonichu Medallion.jpg|Number 207, [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] owned by "Dcencia."
File:Chris-Chan Sonichu Medallion.jpg|Number 208, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] owned by "Dcencia."
File:HEILFART1.jpg|Number 209, the [[July 2015 Facebook Posts#The Hitler Medallion|Hitler Medallion]].
File:HEILFART2.jpg|Number 209, back.
File:Med 209A.jpg|Number 209, box and certificate.
File:Med X C.jpg|Unknown number, Sonichu.
File:Med X D.png|Certificate for previous medallion.
File:Med X A.jpg|Box for previous.
File:Med X B.jpg|Box for previous.
File:Med instagram.jpg|Unknown number, posted on Instagram.
File:JojoswoonMedallion.jpg|Another Sonichu from someone named "Jojoswoon."
File:Med Oney.png|Medallion belonging to Internet animator OneyNG<ref>[https://twitter.com/oneyng/status/549287362824781824 Twitter]</ref>, co-creator of ''Hellbenders'' and friend of [[Sonichu the Animated Series|Spazkid]].
File:Med divintrial.png|Twitter user "divintrial" with his medallion.
File:Med cosplay.png|Cosplayer with authentic medallion.
File:Cosplayer with Medallion.jpg|Presumably the same cosplayer having a blast.
File:Medallion Customer.jpg|He can feel the cosmos.
File:Medallion_251.jpg|A happy owner of 251. Couldn't ask for a better birthday gift.
File:Med 254.jpg| Medallion 254. This one had hair in it.
</gallery></center>}}

A few purchasers included videos:

Number 23: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5HFzNUQREQ

Number 25: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPfpZ6v5JK0

Number 178: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dFXTUFM3RI

Number 199: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP5HANhgZaU&feature=youtu.be

===Plan to outsource production===
[[File:Medallion making framework.jpg|thumb|200px|A blueprint for the Medallion]]
Around [[October 2017]], Chris said that he wanted to have people produce medallions for his Sonichu merchandise business.<ref>[[CLog Special - PATREON & MORE]]</ref> In [[CLog 10172017 - Medallion Making]], he demonstrated how to create a medallion. He also displayed a blueprint, which has no practical purpose, as there are [[CADD|no labels or measurements]]. Instead, Chris likely uses this as a stencil to shape pieces of [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]] into the medallion, as evidenced by the scuff marks on the "blueprints".

On 11 [[December 2020]], Chris revealed that he had successfully outsourced the production of the Sonichu medallions. These medallions were produced by the group of [[enablers]] known as [[Praetor]]. Chris also stated that some of the profits would go directly to him, although the exact amount is unknown.<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power
*[[Christine Doll]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}
{{BusinessList}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Talk:Jimmy Hill

2020-05-19T12:54:21Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Clean up the article */

==Look.==

We're at an impasse here.

Are we going to insists Jimmy Hill is the creator of Sonichu or not? Cause we've got a serious inconsistent article right here. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:04, 30 April 2009 (CEST)

==To do==
*Add Chris's various threats against Jimmy Hill
(I believe he mentioned some in his later comics? I don't know for sure though. --[[User:Decrumpit|Decrumpit]] 02:14, 27 April 2009 (CEST)

== Clean up the article ==

This page really doesn't help the reader on who jimmy hill is. It's a bit of the mess with no leading back story on how he is related to chris any of the emails communication chris did in related and how it effected chris in the end. It has the general gist of jimmy hill but not much good info. It really needs a thorough clean up. [[User:IJustDontCareAnymore|IJustDontCareAnymore]] 09:12, 20 April 2009 (CEST)

*True, though the origins of the Jimmy Hill thing are lost in time and space (or rather, the ED Chris-chan archives). From what I recall, Jimmy Hill was done by some SA goons on the spinoff board SASS and the ED page actually had the forum where people talked about how to go about the site, and the reason it stopped was most likely due to the fact that the SASS board shut down in November 2008. I believe it was either in a Mumble chat or in a chat with Julie where he talks about how he realized Jimmy Hill was fake when he noticed the site never updated. Point is, to clean it up, first you really need to dig into the archives of the Chris-chan page on ED and also into the Mumble and Julie PSN chats. However, considering someone has gone to the trouble of finding all the ED edits done by Chris, and how I was able to dig to find the original sex tape (Chris jacking off into a cup), it's not entirely impossible. Anyways, you make a valid point. In fact, it'll be the Improvement Article of the Moment. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:45, 20 April 2009 (CEST)

**From memory, Jimmy Hill was the forum name of someone who had been on SA for years, so he trolled under his online-pseudonym. It's only afterwards that people thought it would be funnier to use the REAL Jimmy Hill the guy named himself after as the character to annoy Chris with ALA BILLY MAYS.--[[User:UncleBastard|UncleBastard]] 15:22, 20 April 2009 (CEST)

Jimmy Hill was the username of a SASS poster (SASS being an anti-something awful site which had quite a few threads on Chris) who made a bunch of photoshops to troll chris into thinking the real jimmy hill stole sonichu. I know this for a fact because I frequented SASS around that time and saw it as it was happening. Also another SASS poster made the "sonichu anime" pictures, but I can't remember his name. So basically, the Jimmy Hill from SASS was the brains of almost the entire troll, but since SASS is gone we will probably never find him.

:[https://web.archive.org/web/20081007030812/http://sass.buttes.org/forum/viewtopic.php?id=25214 Here] is an archive of the SASS thread where the Jimmy Hill saga originated, for those who want to witness the Christory in motion. --[[User:Acrylicpaint|Acrylicpaint]] ([[User talk:Acrylicpaint|talk]]) 12:54, 19 May 2020 (UTC)

Chris and fashion

2017-12-29T21:14:16Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Late tomgirl fashion */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
[[File:GoodwillCville.jpg|thumb|200px|The [[Ruckersville]] Goodwill which Chris patronizes.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|The Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Prior to the [[Tomgirl Saga]], the majority of shirts he owned were colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts - most of which were decorated with horizontal stripes, which, despite being scientifically proven to have a slimming effect <ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-superhuman-mind/201502/what-makes-you-look-fat-vertical-or-horizontal-lines?amp</ref>, have any such potential effects crushed by Chris' [[Obesity|impressive physique]]. [[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one of these shirts (the "Advice Dog") was purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Though his mother didn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chose to wear these shirts. The advent of the [[Tomgirl Saga]] was accompanied by a change to garb that may have been more feminine, but was equally cheap and hideous.

==Pre-tomgirl fashion sense==
=== Childhood ===
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|200px|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polos, T-shirts, and khaki pants. The only difference compared to adulthood is that he sometimes dared to wear single-colored shirts with his favorite [[Sonic the Hedgehog|game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme was the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it did not look particularly good on him.

=== Trademark clothing ===
[[File:Classic post-fire 2.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|The Classic, pictured in [[April 2017]], after Chris recovered it from the hoard.]]
[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]

This is the original and most iconic look of Chris, the standard until mid-2011. It is a look immortalized in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] self-insertion. His outfit usually consisted of:
* His [[The Classic|favorite shirt]], a [[Chris and brand loyalty|St. John's Bay®]]<ref>In [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]], Chris claims the polo is actually a Ralph Lauren.</ref> Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which was so tight that it accentuated his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably drew himself wearing in the comics. Trolls came to call it the "clown shirt" or "The Classic." It was thought destroyed in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|2014 fire]] that gutted the Chandler house<ref>[[eBay]] comment: "I lost the shirt in the fire" http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&iid=191232666489&requested=jesusguidesme2&redirect=0&frm=2047675&ShowASQAlways=1&ssPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI</ref>, but later [[eBay#The Classic shirt|resurfaced for sale in 2017]], when Chris listed it for a minimum price of '''$12,000''' due to the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He had found it in a bag of damp, moldy clothes, wet from the water the firefighters had used to extinguish the flames when his house burned three years prior. He washed it, and then wore it for the first time in years when he uploaded [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]].
* His [[medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[pedo-glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically defined his rear end to a disturbing level — he may have been wearing women's jeans, or he may have been simply wearing pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]].
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when he's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|in the mood]] for [[recycling]], or when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for [[Chris and death|funerals]] or [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Starting in late [[2009]], a [[bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

===The "IBA" outfit===
[[File:The Chronicles Of Chris-Chan- They see me trollin, they laughin'... -7-17-09-.mp4 20140516 130015.190.jpg|thumb|The "IBA" outfit.]]
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made certain friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that was too small for his girth.

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clown shirts, and claimed that he had been pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video. However, on the same day he [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|shaved his beard]], he drew the first picture of [[Collosal Chan]], a character which preserved the look for all eternity.

===The "Gay Trucker" outfit===

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the medallion for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person. This included a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of, making it look somewhat like a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilet gilet].<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result was a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that when Chris tries to look like a bad boy, he ends up looking like a [[Truck Driver|gay trucker]], hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could have made it look gayer would have been by combining it with his muscle bra. Which, unfortunately, he did. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the medallion would have actually ''improved'' his chances of picking up [[gal-pals]].

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|with a non-prostitute]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly expressed Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that changed the Mountain Dew logo so it read "Mount and Do Me." Fans hoped that since this was a private video for a potential sweetheart, Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[bedroom]]. Alas, Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to Fridays After Five - a '''public, ''family-oriented''''' concert. He topped this by pulling that shirt over his head and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these unfunny, sexually-themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is available without ever having to talk to people, nor spend any effort in making a sign.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos in which he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts. The effect was interesting, bringing him closer to normality than he'd been in many years. He was still a pale, sweaty, balding, fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that put him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's T-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more--a Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], and a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

===The [[Carlos Chantor]] outfit===
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet. Too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com. It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.
{{clear}}

==Tomgirl fashion sense==
===Early tomgirl fashion===
{{main|Tomgirl Saga}}

[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]
[[File:TG10.jpg|thumb|Would you fuck me? [[It's not that cold|I'd fuck me]]. I'd fuck me HARD.]]
[[File:Chris_at_a_gay_bar.jpg|thumb|A hemline this high leaves little to the imagination.]]

In [[April 2011]], a series of leaked pictures showed Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consisted of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - Note that piercing the right ear is traditionally code for [[Homos|homosexuality]]; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eye shadow
* Jeans
* Blue string top
* Black thong
* A silver ring (Note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge of [[F Abstinence|abstinence]] until [[Lovely Weather|marriage]])<ref>[[:File:TG6.jpg]] - Chris-Tran with his new silver ring</ref><ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/ silverringthing.com]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]
* A new head-band (as seen in the [[Facebook]] pictures)

While not seen in the leaked images, Chris's posts in [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] revealed he also donned skirts and panties as part of his new look.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162 Re: Girly Things Tee Hee]</ref><ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315 Re: Mothers]</ref> In [[September 2011]], Chris was also photographed carrying a purse.

Chris was very happy with his new fashion choices, but friction with his parents made it difficult for him to wear makeup and women's clothing overtly. Sometimes he had to change after leaving the house or before returning (but he could always wear a bra and panties).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref>

===Late tomgirl fashion===
[[File:CWC1214.png|thumb|150px|Chris in December 2014.]]
Chris continued to wear female clothing, albeit with some refinements, over the course of the next couple years. Although he has long since dispensed with the clownish polo shirts and jeans, many characteristics of his tomgirl wardrobe are remarkably consistent with the way he dressed when he still wore men's clothing, especially in terms of color coordination and clothing size. He also remains committed to buying all his clothes from thrift stores, giving him the appearance of a dumpy bag lady. He summarized his style in [[November 2014]] as "colored leggings, denim skirts mini to knee length, bold colored shirts and blouses".<ref>[[Commissions#The Flufflehugs Commissions]]</ref> Some of the most frequent themes in his feminine fashion choices are:

* Clashing, violently-opposed colors (particularly red with blue or green)
* Clothing far too small for him
* Dresses or skirts with very high hems
* Leggings, to help with tucking
* Sports bras
* Big, floppy, church-lady hats
* Eye makeup, applied poorly and usually purple or blue in color

A deviation from this style was seen in the video of the [[26 December 2014]] incident, where Chris is shown in purple [[My Little Pony]] shades, (probably as a [[Honor roll|disguise]]); a silver headband, showing off his ever-receding [[hair|hairline]]; his Manchester High sweatshirt; short jeans matched with long, purple socks and/or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|another pair of pants]]; and boots (possibly Uggs).

The fact that Chris wore skirts and makeup for each of his court hearings in 2015, even those to which [[Barb]] accompanied him, suggests that he consistently dresses this way in public, and that his mother has come to grudgingly accept her son's transgender attire.

In 2015, Chris also started dying his hair blue, but predictably failed to do it properly, and ended up dying it an ugly, seaweed green instead. Combined with his wardrobe that manages to somehow simultaneously resemble the attire of a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|5 year old girl]] and a [[Barb|65 year old cat lady]], the resulting look has been sardonically referred to by Kiwis as "mermaid grandma".

Since 2017, Chris has increasingly started wearing My Little Pony clothing, and more recently has started donning a set of [[Unicorn cosplay|unicorn ears and a horn]] (alongside his [[Sonichu Medallion]]) for his shenanigans both indoors and out.
{{clear}}

==Chris on fashion==
In [[November 2016]], Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Women should wear skirts|posted]] a commentary on women's fashion.

In it, Chris implored women to wear skirts with leggings instead of pants, saying to "view it from [[Attraction Sign|a pervert's perception]]: they eye downward and have Good view of the in-between, as well as easier access to picture it in their imaginations from there. With a dress or skirt concealing the area, it is actually More difficult for the perv, and, thus, more difficult to picture and imagine what is or isn't at the [[China|groin area]]."

He also requested men to consider wearing kilts - stressing to wear pants underneath, saying, "NOBODY is impressed with that [[Pickle|bulge]]; moreover it is Absolutely Offensive," which indicates that Chris has shifted from [[Brassieres For Males|obsessing over men's chests]] to obsessing over their crotches.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is autistic, observers speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. During the events of the [[Liquid Saga]], Chris took a special interest in [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]]'s choice of a brown striped shirt, referring to Liquid as a "Brown-Striped Impostor"<ref>[[SingStar Challenge]]</ref> and fixating on Liquid's shirt as a symbol of his inauthenticity. In any case, Chris seems to regard his clothing as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

Like many of his lifestyle changes which occurred during the Tomgirl Saga, Chris's unceremonious abandonment of his classic shirts came as a surprise to trolls who had spent years speculating on Chris's clothing as a symbol of his identity, and his usual resistance to change as a symptom of his autism. However, even in retrospect, Chris seems to hold the clothes he used to wear in very high regard as a symbol of his identity and legacy, as shown when he listed "The Classic" on eBay for a whopping $12,000. Writing after the end of the auction, Chris felt the need to commemorate the occasion with some words:<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Barb borrowed from life insurance]]</ref>

{{Quote|1=Yes, the shirt's auction has ended high, but I am still awaiting payment from the mother of one of my fans, who, unless remains anonymous, will have her name go down in History for not only restoring a very Iconic Artifact, but also improves this artist's family's life, After the restoration and disinfection of the shirt. Her most grateful son will be proud of her for having gone down in history for Restoring the Fire-Survivor Iconic Shirt of Sonichu and Rosechu's Creator. Thank You, Missus.|2=Chris|3=on why history books should remember the momentous occasion wherein a retard bought a moldy piece of cloth from another retard}}

Not only is this statement [[Chris and his Ego|extremely egotistical]] even by CWC's standards, it also betrays the fact that Chris continues to treat a shirt that he let rot in a plastic bag for two years with an undue amount of gravitas. It seems that Chris views the clothing he has worn over the course of his life, much like [[Christopher's name change#Christopher as a separate personality|the various names he has had]], as an important symbol of his identity as it has twisted and changed. Because autistics are known to place extreme importance on inanimate objects, this can be seen as standard autistic behavior.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, prior to the Tomgirl Saga, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"[[The Classic|The Classic]]" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]] [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt|18]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]] [[Chris Sings Lovin' You|5]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:Christshirt42.png|"The Statesmen" [[10252009 For Kacey|1]] [[To Clyde Gregg|2]] [[For Chris II|3]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|7]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]
</gallery>
</center>

==Cross-dressing Boutique==
Chris has ditched the clown shirts, instead opting for an arguably worse wardrobe, see below:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:The Clopper.PNG|"The Clopper" [[Paid Video Requests#Josh Lover of men|1]] [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter|2]] [[Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Nathan.|3]]
Image:White tomgirl with Heart design.png|"The Shattered Heart" [[Announcement 06292016|1]] [[Unicorns Rainbows and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 3|2]] [[Rainbows Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 4|3]] [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Singing "All of the Lights"|4]]
Image:imdoneadulting.png|"The Broken Brony"
 [[The_Alpha_Trion/"Young_Warrior"_Challenge|1]]
Image:thepromoter.png|"The Promoter" [[Update_02/16/2016|1]]
Image:sonicrainboom.png|"The Sonic Rainboom" [[Holiday_Greetings_to_Karen_Riley|1]]
Image:thehappyhag.png|"The Happy Hag" [[Update_01/12/2016|1]] [[Apologies_for_offending_people|2]] [[Doxing_Jeff/Francine|3]] [[Eid,_Pmurt,_Eid|4]] [[Embargo_Update_12/2/2015|5]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|7]] [[GameStop_is_UNFAIR_to_Everyone;_Not_Just_Me!|6]] [[Happy_Birthday,_Martin.|8]] [[Happy_Pokémon_Day.|9]] [[HelloLadyFans|10]] [[I%27m_sick;_we_need_money_donations;_no_video_requests_for_a_while|11]] [[I_Am_me;_He_is_not|12]] [[Jeff_is_Beyond_Denounced.|13]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|14]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|15]] [[Reading:_"A_Girl_Who_Brought_Down_the_World",_"And_Apparently_Survived_a_Housefire"|16]] [[September_2016_Paid_Video_Requests|17]] [[Thank_You_from_Christine_Chandler|18]] [[Twelve_New_and_Old_Things_of_Christmas|19]] [[Update,_1/22/2016,_and_new_items_for_Cwcville_Shopping.|20]] [[Update_01/12/2016|21]] [[Update_1/25/2016|22]] [[Yes,_it_still_has_been_I,_Christine_Weston_Chandler,_who_has_been_uploading_the_videos_personally.|23]]
Image:thedealmaker.png|"The Deal Maker" [[Proposition_to_Sega|1]] [[Announcement_04/16/2016|2]]
Image:bubblegumnightmare.png|"The Bubblegum Nightmare" [[Live_Game_Stream_-_C-Log_050032017-2|1]]
Image:toothpastetube.png|"The Toothpaste Tube" [[Live_Game_Stream_-_C-Log_050032017-2|1]] [[CLog_07142017_-_Rainbow_Colouring|2]]
Image:ManchesterSweaterFixed.png|"The Manly Chester" [[I Love You, Catherine|1]] [[26_December_2014#Video|2]]
Image:Bigbaggyblue.png|"Big baggy blue" [[CLog_07072017|1]]
</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

==Other aspects of his Fashion sense==
===Wrist warmer===
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>{{PublicSource}}}}

Chris likely wears this article to counter [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

===Fanny pack===
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally, Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

===Cosplaying===
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Animal Crossing Documentary

2017-12-29T21:07:12Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Analysis */

The '''''[[Animal Crossing]]''''' '''Documentary''' is an hour-long video featured on [[Chris]]'s homemade [[DVD]]. Here, you can watch 21-year-old [[Chris]] reach the peak of his maturity, as he immerses himself in a video game targeted for kids on one cold November afternoon.

==Analysis==
The video offers tours of two different towns saved on two different memory cards. The town of [[CWCville]] is home to [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], who wears a Sonichu outfit. The town of CWC City is home to [[Daughter|Crystal]], who wears a [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] outfit.

Some of the narration centers around Chris complaining to [[Nintendo]] about his many personal problems. One can only imagine how the hapless ''Nintendo Power'' employee tasked with watching this video felt at hearing Chris [[Honest Content|constantly bring up]] his [[Virgin with rage|virginity and lack of a girlfriend]]. He expects the company to remember his [[fan]] letters regarding his dreams. He also implies that the company should send him [[Chris and reality|birthday presents]], reissue trading cards that went out of print so Chris can collect them, and adopt his fan characters as official [[Pokémon]]. He also expresses his [[Brand loyalty|distaste]] for [[Sony|the PlayStation and the PS2]], but speaks fondly of many obsolete consoles he owns that weren't made by Nintendo. He also mentions he dislikes a ''[[Wikipedia:Beyblade: Super Tournament Battle|Beyblade]]'' game because it's "not real", which is [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|disturbing]] in retrospect.

Chris has spent an exorbitant amount of [[Chris and money|money]] on ''Animal Crossing'', purchasing not only the base game (retailing at $49.99) but also a number of relatively obscure hardware add-ons that add functionality to the game, including the Game Boy Advance link cable (MSRP $10.00), the e-Reader (retailing at around $40.00) and numerous e-Reader cards. Chris's propensity for blind brand loyalty and consumerism is on full display here: although the aforementioned e-Reader was maligned and ignored by many Nintendo fans, Chris has fallen for it hook, line and sinker, mentioning that he owns a whopping ''63'' e-Reader cards (which, considering each pack of ''Animal Crossing'' cards included five cards and retailed for $5.00, means that Chris spent a minimum of $60.00 on cards alone, assuming that the leftover 3 cards were freebies that were found loose and not purchased).

The [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]' debut album is featured prominently, as Chris sings several of the songs aloud and has the CD on repeat playing quietly in the background. [[Yellow is a Mellow Color]] plays at least three times in the span of an hour. He also sings along to parts of the game. Much like the boatman Charon ferried the souls of the damned to Hades, a character shuttles Sonichu across a river while Chris sings in the voice that got him fired from [[Wendy's]]. The singing becomes high-pitched gibberish after two stanzas.

There are a few odd moments, like where Chris compares two fighting insects to ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', says a [[Niggos|dark-skinned]] hippopotamus reminds him of [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|Sanford and Son]], and talks about his strained relationship with his father. Chris also doesn't mention the [[Wikipedia:Joy to the World (Hoyt Axton song)|bullfrog character named Jeremiah]], showing his ignorance of popular [[Chris and music|music]] outside of crappy 90's pop music and the older music [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] liked. Also, he will gladly pull weeds in this game but not in [[Father Call|real life]].

Chris mentions "profit" from selling in-game items over and over again. This in no way involves real money and is just Chris selling easily-found items dropped by the game to purchase more furniture and crap, which he finds validating. Chris probably enjoys the game because it showers him with rewards for completing simple tasks, none of which are challenging or stressful.

Chris mentions that his favorite of the NES games available to play in-game is ''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong Jr. Math|Donkey Kong Jr. Math]]'' because it "really [[Slow-in-the-minds|challenges the mind]] in the math area". The math featured in the game is simple arithmetic that should be well below the average middle schooler's level, much less that of a 21-year-old college student who supposedly graduated high school on the [[honor roll]].

This "[[documentary]]" also provides insight into how Chris projects his own lifestyle onto a video game. His hoarding enters the realm of video games, as he uses his island house to store almost a dozen dressers full of in-game objects. His two houses are full of clutter, his in-game bedrooms look eerily like [[Chris's room|his own]] (right down to a small bed surrounded by clutter), and he refers to every generic "nice" female character as being [[sweetheart|sweet]], and being a genuine [[gal pal|friend]] of his.

This is Chris at his most infantile, immersing himself in a game full of soft animal characters with no conflict or challenge. Throughout the documentary, Chris tells jokes that [[Random access humor|don't make sense in the given context]] and [[Chris and music|plays his poorly dubbed versions of pop songs]]. Note that most of the animals in the game immediately run into their houses whenever Chris tries to go near them.

==Video==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name=Animal Crossing Documentary
| image = {{#ev:youtube|5QtOj7rNFCY}}
| Stardate = 22nd [[November 2003]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Video games|text}}, {{Website|text}}
| Other = {{Direct Feed|text}}, {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[The City of Cwicville Tour!#Watch|The City of Cwicville Tour]]
| next = [[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special#Part 1|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
}}</center>

===Outline===

{| class="wikitable"
| 00:01-01:24 || Introduction
|-
| 01:25-19:39 || Tour of Cwcville (part 1 of 2)
|-
| 19:40-25:19 || Trip to Cwcville Island
|-
| 25:20-35:24 || Tour of Cwcville (part 2 of 2)
|-
| 35:25-36:44 || Interlude
|-
| 36:45-52:39 || Tour of Cwc City
|-
| 52:40-53:39 || Interlude
|-
| 53:40-55:54 || Conclusion
|}

==Transcription==

'''Introduction'''

[''Video begins with the Nintendo GameCube startup logo as Chris sings along like a retard, followed by the Nintendo logo with Chris saying "Nintendo."'']

[00:24]

Hello Nintendo! Welcome to my ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube. I am your host. My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I live in [[Ruckersville]], Virginia and I is [''sic''] 21 years old and I play because I am young at heart. So anyway we are going to take a tour of my ci-ty...in ''Animal Crossing''.

[''Goes to main menu'']

[00:48]

The city's name is CWCville. See, those are my initials CWC. That's why it is spelled that way.

[''Picking menu options'']

[01:01]

And my character's name is Sonichu. You may remember him from, ahh, previous letters I have sent to you guys in the past.

[01:10]

[''Game starts to load town'']

Anyway we are going to get set up now. [''Chris starts singing'']

[''Game is done loading'']

We usually do have a good time.

[1:25]

So anyway, stepping out is my character [[Sonichu]]. He's wearing the [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] with the character on it. Like I said you might remember his face. And there's his actual face.

[''Shows a sign with the face of Sonichu on it'']

You remember the rest of his body you see the whole picture.

And before we get to the daily routines I'm goin' let you...I'm goin' to take you on a tour of my [[house]] as well as uh, as well as you know, uh, a daily routine. We'll take a tour of the town, but first the house. You see this logo here, that is the logo to [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my website on the internet]]. If you would like to visit, here is the address. I'm going to leave it up for a few seconds.

[''Shows the address to his website for a few seconds'']

[2:02]

Alright, that's enough. Now we're gonna take a [[Tour of Chris's House|tour of my house]].

Turn on the light so you can see better. This is my first floor, obviously. I keep things well organized. I got room to walk around in; I can even dance, wanna see me do I bit?

[''Chris begins to sing'']

[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color|Yellow is a mellow color]] 
Yes it is a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps a lightning 
EEEEEHHHHH mellow color 

[''Chris stops singing'']

Yeah. Course...a...when I, a...do a dance...I usually like to have my uh...audience.

[''Chris puts a wallpaper up on his house, resembling wrestling fans who just witnessed a Stone Cold Stunner.'']

Dodedododododoo. But since it's getting close to [[Christmas]], I have the snowflakes on the wall instead. And I keep it in this closet. So anyway here's a fun thing. This snowman, he teach me how to play piano. And by the way just to let you know in case...a...you can hear the, a...music in the background.

[''Chris appears to be playing [[So Need A Cute Girl]]'']

Those are my karaoke numbers that I actually ma...that I actually made up lyrics to, and I have played and, uh, sang my voice over the originals. So let me give you an example; may I Mister Snowman? "Please go right ahead!" Alright.

[''Chris begins to sing again while Sonichu bangs on the piano, which emits no sound'']

[[Dirty_crapped_briefs|Tell me why]] 
I'm stuck as a 
[[Virgin with Rage]]? 
[[Semen#Recycling|Tell me why]] 
I so need a 
Cute Girl my age 
[[Medallions_of_Fail|Tell me why]] 
I never wanna 
Hear you say 
I have a boyfriend!

[''Chris stops singing'']

And that was inspired by a [[Love Quest|real thing]]. By the way that's your website...that is your website isn't it? Nintendo.com, it's a nice place to visit; but we cannot live there. Which brings us up to our next subject...

[''A calendar of November appears on the screen'']

...the [[diary]]. You guys did a good job of it going back and forth within a 12 month radius. By the way, this is my birthday, right here my actual birthday, I was born in 1982. You guys...in case you want to take a note there. OK, that's long enough. So anyway uh, it does make a...not only does it work for a calendar, but it makes for a good monthly journal. As for a monthly journal entry here in November.

[''Chris begins to scroll up and down his journal entry'']

Yeah I tried to get a girlfriend because, I don't have a girlfriend. But I have made up a poem, let you guys read it.

{{quotebox|My dreams of getting a girlfriend was crushed by the medeling [''sic''] [[Mary_Lee_Walsh|"Mary Lee Walsh."]] 
Christian Chandler. 
November 4, 2003 
Saddest Heart in the World 
Lonesome and sad, lonesome and sad, the "Mastermind" is very bad. In efforts of getting a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free gal]], that female dog took my only idea for a fall. Heart-broken, sad and very lonely, I'll never remove my virginity. And with Backstreet Boys' tune, I sing my lonesome croon: "Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage. Tell me why, I so need a...}}

All right. Scroll down a little bit as we go along.

''...cute girl my age. Tell me why, I ain't ever wanna hear you say 'I have a boyfriend.'" And so, deep in dreary thought, a girl was what I sought. A stitch in time, will never remove my...''

It's a very good pro...poem, because I am an artist, as well as a poet. I make a rhyme every time.

''...crying rhyme. I may be destined for loneliness forever, fate is to blame...whatever. I conclude this cry, to say that as long as there are no matching girls, my happiness well runs dry.''

Anyway that's my poem, but in case...a, you didn't notice here. Look right here, "Tell me why, I'm stuck as a virgin with rage." I put my song lyric in here because it was inspired; because I do not have a girlfriend. You know why, cause I have a [[Noviophobia|phobia]] that every girl I talk to she already has a boyfriend.

Right. So anyway moving on with the tour of my house. As you can see I've got- I'm collecting the NES games. I've got most of them down here, and I've got a couple upstairs. One of 'em's fake you know the one I'm talking about, does April 1st strike a bell? But my favorite game is right here.

[''"Would you like to play 
DK Jr MATH?"'']

I like it because...a, it really challenges the mind in the math area and gets your memory fresh there. And by the way, notice the two logos here?

[''Chris is making a motion towards the GameCube and N64 logos'']

It's a good way to welcome the guests, that come into your house. Ol' Nintendo 64 on the left, and GameCube on the right, caught them before an after deal. Oh and look at this, a good little south feng shui here. Of course makes for a good welcome mat. Speaking of feng shui, I've got my red items against the east side, in hopes of getting more NES games; specially that Wario's Woods. By the way, how the heck do you get that game anyway? I mean all you tell us do to is to go to Animal Island. And then what the heck do we do? You should have given us more details, back in the previous issue of uh, the Crossing Guardian.

Speaking of which I've been a long time subscriber. So therefore I've got all their previous issues. And I time travel back and forth when I start ''Animal Crossing'' to collect a few items, but in respect to uh...time traveling back because I missed a few items, I made a new character named "Tim Timetale" and, uh, he time-traveled back and got the remaining items, give them to me, as well as the other character I made up, and, uh, the, uh, the other city in Slot B, which, uh, I'll tell you about that later.

[6:45]

[''Character walks up stairs to the second floor of house'']

Anyway, we're going upstairs. This is my [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. It's a lot of fun, isn't it, because I like to make things fun since, you know, I'm young at heart. And here's a fun joke. Turn on the [[TV]] [''he does, but it just shows static''] sit down and watch TV while I wait t-to get on the [[Internet]]. It's a good way to kill time anyway. Anyway, here's the fake [''brings up caption for the April Fool's NES game, Super Tortimer'']. Sound familiar? Right [''[[sigh|sighs]]'']. Anyway, this is my bed. The harvest bed. Nice choice, isn't it? I'm going to take a quick nap.

[7:17]

[''Character lays down on bed while Chris makes snoring noises too close to the microphone'']

OK. Nap's over. All right. You want to see my music collection? [''Brings up music menu''] It's all good. I got them all courtesy of K.K. Slider. Well, of course, the first one was a freebie from the e-Reader card. "Swipe, Swipe, Swipe". Anyway, here's the fan and the Mario Brothers stuff. Oh, and uh you notice what time it is? It's 1:15. Good time to start. In the afternoon.

[7:48]

[''Character walks down stairs to first floor of house'']

Anyway, now we're going down to the basement.

[''Character walks down stairs to the basement of house'']

Let me just turn on the lights. I keep my models down here. It's a nice little aero fa [sic] models, and I leave enough room for me to walk around in. Well, that's a cute joke.

''"Hey. Stop. You're under arrest."'' 
''"What for?"'' 
''"For, uh, being the black market, you red fox."'' 
''"Ah, geez."'' 

And I got both houses. Yeah, I scored that high with the HRA. Notice this train? I wonder where it's headed to. It's probably headed over to the memory card in Slot B. I'll tell you about that city later. Anyway. This is where I do my cooking. If, uh, if you can ever do your cooking in ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube. I have that DVD. And this is the fridge. I could store my food in there, but I can't. What? Does it have a padlock on it or something? Oh, look. Here's my phone. Let's make a phone call. [''Pulls up phone menu, calling the Dial-a-Psychic''] Hello? Thank you. Good advice. Hey. Let's have a seat on this thing. I like this thing. Listen to this. [''Character sits on the couch and it makes a fart noise'']. Let me do that again. [''Character again jumps on the farting couch''] One more time. [''Character again jumps on farting couch with predictable results''] OK. That's enough. Too much fun and [[Random-access humor|you'll die laughing]].

[9:04]

[''Character walks up stairs to first floor of house'']

So anyway, that's my house. Let me just turn off the lights before I leave.

[''Character walks out the front door of house'']

Alright, now where going to go through my daily routines. As well as a tour of the town.

[''Pause menu pops up'']

You notice I've got an empty inventory. And by the way, here's a good rule of thumb. Keeping my shovel, net, pole, axe, and letters here on the bottom row. You know why? I'll tell you bout that when we get to the next shop. Anyway, I usually check my mail; what do you know I got three presents. Let's see what this one is though. [[Bob]].

''How ARE you, Sonichu? Well now, I bet your bottom Bell you didn't expect me to cut out and split town, huh? Nope, I shocked the world! I'm turning over a new leaf- see you on the flip side! Laters, Bob''

Oh I guess he moved out, oh well.

[''Sonichu proceeds to throw out poor Bob's letter, then collect his gifts from the remaining letters'']

Anyway, let's see what we got from the, uh, probably from the museum; because I dig up those fossils and uh...I sell them. Makes a nice profit.

[''Sonichu throws away all three letters'']

I just quickly uh read through them and then throw them away. You know like...junk mail! You could also say pop-ups if they had "x's" on em.

[''Sonichu begins to open his gifts'']

See what we got here, A dinosaur track, a Tricera tail, and a dinosaur egg. Well that'll make a nice profit. By the way, in case you missed it the first time I'll put it up again.

[''Once again shows the address to his website'']

Ok you got it, alright now. Before we head to Nook's shop which will be the last stop on the tour; we go- we're gonna take the rest of the tour here. Alright let's see. Well this is the train station. But I travel to the other city which I'll tell you about now. The name of the city is CWCcity. Spelled C-W-C-c-i-t-y, we'll visit there later, but not by train of course. It'll be a hou-It'll be a run by the, uh, character named [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]], C-r-y-s-t-a-l, when we get there. All right. Oh, look at this, a hole in the ground.

[''opens the menu to equip his golden shovel'']

Yeah, you see, sometimes there's an item in CWCcity. I don't have it here in CWCville because I have CWCville a lot longer than CWCcity. I bring stuff from CWCcity over here.

[''he digs up the buried item - it's a folding chair'']

'Cause obviously I did not collect this one yet. I got a good memory.

[''Sonichu screws up and digs another hole; he cleans both of them up'']

And also, you know, I got a good taste for music because I grew up on music. So anyway let's move on with- oh, you notice this [a golden statue of Sonichu]? You know why this is here?

[''This statue was erected in honor of Sonichu's full loan repayment!'']

I paid my debt. And this is Sonichu's mug again, right next to the master.

[''Sonichu runs past a sign reading "H.F.A." with two almost invisible red eyes'']

Oh, look at this. H.F.A. And very mean eyes. Must mean something bad. ...I know what it means. I'll tell you about it at the end of the documentary here. Uh, the city of CWCville and CWCcity, or otherwise all the deal [?] in ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube, in a nutshell.

[''Sonichu enters the acre with the post office on it'']

So anyway, here's the post office, do my mailing and such and the e-Reader swipes. By the way there's a good way to profit from the e-Reader, I'll tell you about it in CWCcity.

[''Sonichu comes across a shining ring in the ground'']

Oh, what do you know! A money spot. I'll just dig up the thousand bells.

[''Sonichu pulls a shovel out of his inventory and digs up the money sack'']

Yep, thousand bells, just bury that up. Mmm, drag it up there. Use the R button to quickly pick up the items.

[''Sonichu enters the acre with the dump in it, he enters it'']

Anyway, here's the dump. I come here first, pick up the- whatever items I want every time I start ''Animal Crossing''. Hmm, got a shirt, what do we have here? A plant. I's have picked up a pothos before so I know it's a plant.

[''Sonichu starts wandering into some acres filled with trees'']

I don't really use plants in my house you n-n-noticed, except for that Christmas Tree but that's for, you know, the holidays. Anyway she's around here, I want to show you my favorite character that I kind of got to know from the start.

[''Sonichu finds his way into an acre with a house on it'']

Oop, she just went in. So let's go say hello.

[''Sonichu follows some green squirrel into a house and rams into it'']

Yeah uhm, uhm, would you come out here please?

[''Sonichu walks back into the center of the room and back into the green squirrel, he pushes it into a corner'']

Mmm... Darnit, I can't see her but anyway uh, I think you recognize her. Oh here we go a little bit. Yeah Mint, she's a sweety.

[''Sonichu talks to Mint about some random crap'']

She gave me a birthday present on my 21st birthday when I time-traveled back. Talk to me!

[''Mint rambles on about how it's cold out and how winter's coming'']

Well, what did ya expect? It's November.

[''Mint asks Sonichu if he has a heater'']

Yeah I got a heater in the basement.

[''Mint jokingly mocks him about turning on heaters during November'']

[Chris chuckles] Yea.

[''Mint says something about how it's going to get colder'']

That's right. Well, I'll see you later Minty, you're a sweety.

[''Sonichu leaves Mint's house'']

Anyway that's uhh all so on the trip. We'll take a look at all the other colorful characters we have around here.

[''The town map comes up, different acres are examined'']

Also uh every time I keep track of the-uh map so that I can see if anyone new came in. Oh, we got a new neighbor, Bertha. I haven't noticed her before. So she's obviously new. So anyway uh, let's move on.

[''Sonichu starts running through the woods and comes across some kangaroo'']

Here's another character I grew up with. Actually she moved in, and lived here most of the time. Marcy. And now she's wearing a Sonichu shirt. Sonichu is very popular in CWCville.

[''Sonichu heads south to an acre with some green mouse's house in it'']

There's Anicotti, she just went in.

[''Sonichu heads west and finds some giraffe's house'']

And there's Elmer. He just went in, he's one of the senior citizens around here too. I say that because he's lived here- by the way our ne- our city pe- fruit is a peach. But I've grown a lot of orange, pears n such.

[14:15]

[''Sonichu heads west and finds a white cat, she says something about how CWCville is amazing'']

Oh whaddya' know, it's that girl from the train.

[''He talks to Blanca'']

I draw her face every time, but when I'm in a hurry I just color it, the whole thing, and she just looks like a... ''Blank face''. But I gave her a face last time.

[''Sonichu starts to head out of the acre but turns around and runs back in, [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]] begins to play in the background. Chris's "singing" is clearly audible'']

Oh, there was another character up here on the hill.

[''Sonichu heads to a goat's house by a river'']

And she just came out, Chevre. What do you know, she's wearing Elmer's clothes.

[''Sonichu runs out of that acre back into the woods'']

Anyway, moving on with the tour.

[''Sonichu comes to some giant tree with a fountain thing in front of it, Chris mistakes it for a well. Some billboards are to the right of it'']

Well, [Chris chortles] good joke. Anyway I also, you know I like to use the billboards, put my signs up. There's my Sonichu site logo, there's Sonichu's mug. I got two here side by side represent the holidy and such. Yea here we got your corn that you got from the previous issue and I drew this leaf.

[''It doesn't look like a leaf'']

Obviously for Thanksgiving and the harvest festival.

[''A blue bear walks into the video'']

Oh, look there's Groucho. He's wearin' a Sonichu site shirt. Let's say hello.

[''Sonichu starts speaking with Groucho'']

Entertain me.

[''Groucho bitches about his mom and fruit'']

A fruit huh?

[''Groucho offers Sonichu an apple, Sonichu accepts'']

I-I'll take one. Yeah, it makes a nice little profit when you talk to them and most of the time it happens from the jobs.

[''Sonichu walks east and comes across a green lion's house'']

So anyway. Yeah, here's Leopold, he moved in a long time-

[''Sonichu makes his way to a green rooster's abode'']

Here's Hank, he's one of the senior citizens around here also. [unintelligible]

[''Sonichu runs to a teal hippo's house'']

Let's go see our new neighbor. Oh, here she is. She must be Bertha. Hello Bertha.

[''Sonichu talks to Bertha, Bertha talks about how nice the town is, etc.'']

It is a nice place. Heh you're scatterbrained. Yeah, okay, well see you around!

[''Sonichu heads south towards a museum'']

[Chris Grunts] Here's the Museum.

[''Sonichu heads inside'']

Let's go look at the exhibits.

[''We see the inside of the museum as Sonichu heads toward the insect section'']

First, we'll look at the bug exhibit.

[''Sonichu is now inside the insect section'']

I caught most of the bugs.

I'll show 'ya. This is my bug collection, I caught them all one-by-one and donated them one-by-one.

[[I Got A Fish|Wanna' see my number of fish?]] Not as much. Not as much. Anyway, uh, all the bugs are just runnin' around here. Hey, whaddya' know, we got a couple- few bugs on the trees here. Two of them are fighting. Well, that's funny, like [[cats|Lucy and Desi]]. [[I Love Lucy|I love Lucy]].

Anyway, uh, nebit, cebit, zibit, the fish exhibit. Yeah, you can see here I caught those fish and I donated them. Hmm, this one is empty. I guess it's waiting for a kind donation. Yeah, here's a bunch of fish; here's some more fish. One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

Alright, anyway, moving on with the tour the museum, take a look at the paintings. I haven't gotten them all yet, but, uh, I got a few. Here's a nice one, it's strange though. sw- why- I gu- why I'd call it a strange painting. Yeah, some of them are- most of them are just waiting for a kind donation, but I got this one from a swipe. Your uh, Common Painting, from Ol' Boots. Well, my favorite painting around here is, uh, right here. Washington crossing the Delaware, but you guys call it the Classic Paining.

Anyway, moving on. We're gonna' check out what I worked hard for and actually got done, the fossil section. All the fossils, right here; all of them! Dug them all up! Though the last one I completed and the last one I picked up was the pterodactyl. All I needed was the right wing and that completed the pterodactyl. As well as the fossil exhibit; and who's my favorite? It's obvious.

Anyway- oh, you can actually see a bug in that amber, y'know? That right there, I wonder what kind of bug that is. I think it was in the, uh, insect thing. Oh well, forget it. Anyway, moving on with the tour, leaving the museum. See you later, sleeping Blathers.

Well, here's another neighbor, Cookie; She just went in. Alright. Well, anyway, uh, since we're, uh, down here, I'm gonna' tell you a couple of things. This is a- here's a- here's the dock, right here, and there's the sea turtle. Of course I usually would check around the, uh, beach lines for old Gulliver, that sailor bird. You should have called him Pelliper like the Pokémon. You notice these two signs here? You need a Game Boy Advance to get started, but when you come back, welcome to the Gamecube.

Anyway, let's go visit the island real quick, 'cuz I'll show you something fun you could do on the island. I use my Game Boy Advance SP but I do have a GBA as well. Well, I use the, uh, SP for, uh, y'know the e-Reader because y'know my Digimon players. It's, uh, easier to hold as swiping as, as compared to the, uh, GBA, the original. Yeah- this sweet young lass, so full of spunk an' sass, over tea, she tells me I gots no class.I ain't no crummy creep who lives in [[Barbara|trash heaps]]! I'm just one old sea-hun who needs some sleep. *unintelligible noises* No, I do not. *rhythmic unintelligible noises* Woooh! I know, the singing annoys me too. I just mock it, and that's- that's why I kinda' have this thing on mute anyway. I listen to my music... every time I play. I actually turn it off right after we- just after we- just as we leave the, uh, bridge there.

So, anyway, this is my island, Cwcville island. Looket all these coconuts here, "In the tropical seas with the coconut trees, we will look and see, coconut." Fine little way to make a profit. Here's Flash. "Troz." I gave him that expression, like [[Wikipedia:Pinky and the Brain|''Pinky and the Brain'']]. So, let's say hello.

''[Flash asks for Sonichu's [[Fashion|rugby shirt]]]

I'll let you have it, 'cause [[Muscle bra|I don't need it]]. It doesn't look too bad on you.

Anyway, here's a fun way to make a profit, a'course, you need the Gameboy Advance for this. You shake the trees, you grab the coconuts. I put them all over her- I gathered them all over here, in this area, and then I just drag them over to the bird. And after the first three coconuts, he gives me money. And I just all put 'em back in the proper place around here. And when I come back to the island, Gamecube version, instead of the uh, on the Gamecube instead of in the Gameboy Advance, after uploading I collect the money, go as high as 30,000 bells, which is very nice.

Anyway, I'll show you what you can do on the house in the island.

[''Goes inside the house'']

I use mine as storage for the, uh, extras items I, uh, don't have room for, at home. Yeah, I got a bunch. 'Course, I got mostly wallpaper and shirts, that's why I got all these dressers.

[''Looks inside a dresser'']

But I've gotten all the uh, carpets from, uh, Sahara. She was here yesterday. Wel- How do I know? I usually keep track, I made a special sticker with my Gameboy camera and I just uh, whenever there's a holiday or ah, when there's a special event as noted by the Copper, I note it on the calendar with one of those special stickers, or write it down whether it's for Cwcville or Cwc City.

[''Exits the house'']

Anyway, we're going to leave the island. See you later Flash! Troz! Or Zort!

[''Goes to Kapp'n so he can leave'']

Hey Kapp'n. Yeah I'm leavin'. No thank you.

[''Gets on the boat'']

Oh, by the way Sonichu's mug is the flag of the island. Obviously. Don't worry, this time I'm not going to imitate his singin'.

Instead I'll talk about something random. [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

Oh, by the way, those two characters at the tailor shop, Mabel and Sabel, are they hedgehogs or porcupines, cuz I dunno. They look like hedgehogs, and or porcupines, but ah, I'm not sure which are they. But either way, if they're hedgehogs, you got my vote on Sonic. Speaking of which, you should have make- ''Sonic Heroes'' should be Nintendo Gamecube exclusive, because [[Xbox]] and [[Sony|PlayStation 2]], my opinion is the same as yours, they both stink. Yeah, I do not even own them, I do not even want them, and that goes double for the PS One as well.

But if you want to know my game systems, I've had my Gamecube for about almost a year and a half now, got it on May thirty-first, twenty o'two. I got your SNES, Nintendo 64, NES, I got the Genesis 301, with the uh, original Genesis, 32X and Sega CD, as well as Sega Dreamcast, and a Sega Saturn. So I've got mostly all of them, I've been a Sonic fan forever, and that's why I'm glad that Sonic came to Nintendo.

[''Arrives back at Cwcville'']

By the way, you all may remember, that I sent you guys a letter, talking about my dream of Sonic on Game Boy, well you go on my website, check the uh, about the author section, you'll see the ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine cover I made up just for the occasion.

Anyway, welcome back to the Gamecube, let's move on with the tour, shall we? Anyway, we're gonna check the island. Oh, Lighthouse, oh will look at this, there's a weed, I pick weeds, keeps my town clean, as well as uh, Cwc City.

Oh, here's the other billboard I don't kn-know if I've shown you, [[Pokémon|Magikarp]]. that's for the fishing tourney, I drew a Magikarp just for it. Yeah, that's a Magikarp, I didn't have room for a Gyarados.

So, way, ah, here's the Tailor Shop. I got a Game Boy Advance right here as well because, you know, I can use my Gameboy Advance here. So let's go in and see what I got on display.

[''Enters Able Sisters shop'']

Yeah I mean what are they, hedgehogs or porcupines, cuz I can't tell. Anyway, I got Sonichu an Ro-, I got Sonichu right here. Oh, and by the way, this is his girlfriend, you want to know what her name is? [[Rosechu]]. See how that's spelled? Yeah, but you'll see- you'll probably see her and her body on the uh, letter that's included with the VHS here. So anyway, that's her favorite flower, called the Zapbud. Oh, and there's my Sonichu site logo, there's you acc- that you featured in ''Nintendo Power''. And a nice (swipe?) for the Poké Ball, as well as Star Fox emblem.

[''Opens up his saved patterns'']

Here, let me show you the uh, rest of my uh, patterns. Most of them I put together. There's Sonic, right there. And this is Sonichu's evil twin, [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]. I made the Mario as uh, kinda like, you know, the ''Nintendo Power''. Duh. If you guys had a shirt already, and the uh, game, that's from me and then you'll find out later. Oh, because [[It will never end|Spider-Man]] was in town recently, I was inspired. An here's Old Glory. Let's see. Yeah, these are the uh, older patterns I uh, kinda picked up from the shirts as much. And these are patterns I put together myself, there's the Magikarp, and there are others, like you got from ''Nintendo Power'', like the corn, [[the Moon]], groovy. Groovy! I call it groovy. There's the mushroom and the mug. Oh, I got something ready for Christmas, you know, you may notice the wreath back there. Let's see, yeah, here the uh, swiped images. Ah, by the way, you remember Tim Timetrail, that's his logo right there, I call it Time Travel, it's got his name written on there, Time- Tim Timetrail.

Could you excuse me for a minute, I've got an itch in my eye. [''A few seconds pause''] Alright. Anyway, that's taken care of. Let's see, I guess.

[''Selects Time Travel shirt and moves it around'']

What'd I do that for? I'm putting it back. Anyways that's-a, images I got so far.

[''Talks to Mabel'']

No, no thank you, we got nothing. So I'll see you all later. Or ah, another day, somewhat. Hey, I think that looks uh-familiar, what Mabel's sewing up, or's that Sabel? I think that's the noodle design.

[''Exits Able Sisters shop'']

Anyway, moving on. Another weed, well what do you know about that. I usually like to run, it ke-keeps me going faster. Oh, by the way, Puck lives here.

Oh, what do you know, a hole in the ground. I usuall- also usually uh, during my rounds, ["Digs up fossil"] I check for these holes. ["Raises pitch of voice"] And it's an antique! And of course, if I dig up a fossil I just quickly write a letter to the Museum. And I don't have to write anything, so I just get that out of the way real quick. I only keep my shovel in hand cuz there may be a few more holes around here somewhere. Well look at this, another weed.

Anyway, no bird today. So le- let's go see Copper, see if there's anything new at the police station.

[''Talks to Copper'']

Any goings-on? Nothing of import, huh.

It's hard to catch that b- bird you know, the uh, postal character Pete. One time I tried, but then he just flew away. Anyway, you got anything in the police station today Copper? That is uh, anything lost? Oh, we got something? Oh good, I'll go take it, I just usually pick it up and sell it later.

[''Enters police station'']

By the way, as fer the Gulliver, if he has something I have not collected yet, I'll usually keep it. Seeds? Oh well, I'll take it. I could always plant those. Cuz they won't make much of a profit. Anyway, if uh, Gulliver has a gave me something that I already have, I usually just sell it.

[''Exits Police Station'']

Makes a nice profit. Uh anyway, let's plant these flowers. Uh, here's a good place.

[''Plants flowers'']

Alright, what do you know, red tulips.

Anyway uh, there's ah, what's her name. Oh yeah, Portia. Anyway, uh, let's see. Oh yeah, there's Leigh right there.

Oh by the way, you know for Mint? I got her card as well, her ''Animal Crossing'' card. Oh yeah, Chuckles! He likes to wear belt buckles! [[Random Access Humor|Rhyme joke]]. So anyway, uh, moving a little north. Here's the uh, Nook Shop. I got it the best, obviously. But if it gets any better, I'll be surprised. So anyway, uh, let's go inside.

[''Enters Nook's Shop'']

See what see what look lik- See what old Nook has today. [''Sighs'']. Oh, I got to sell these items, I usually do that, I sell him the items.

[''Starts selling things to Nook'']

Items I don't need. Those fossils make a nice little profit, espeg- especially the uh, one that's not within the top five. Whoops. I pressed the B button by mistake.

[''Continues to sell, and starts to hum'']

Doops, I goofed. Yeah, foreign fruits, 500. Although the peaches only get you 100 here. By the way, same fruit in Cwc City, it's a pear. Oh, and I need a sign anyway, so I'll just go ahead and get one of those.

[''Buys sign, clicks through Nook's dialogue about using the sign, and starts humming'']

Anyway, we're going upstairs.

[''Goes upstairs'']

What do ya know, we got the gruesome twosome. They're a comical pair. Ugn, let's see, a blue dresser. Uhh, iris table, refrigerator. Yes, I got this refrigerator already, so I don't need it. I already got the water bird. I've seen those shirts before. Ugn, look at all of these two, they chase me around wherever I go, like I'm some sort kind of [[Autism|nut]] or something. Watch this.

[''Chris makes odd noises that might be mistaken for humming, as he runs around the store and watches the salesman chase him. Sometimes art does imitate real life'']

Almost caught me there. Okay, I'm leaving.

[''Goes downstairs'']

Let's see, was there any other business I need? Oh, I guess I need more paper. So I'll get a sheet, get a pack.

[''Buys paper'']

That's quick, I just pick a random style and just go with that. By the way, in case you're wondering about those button noises, I got the microphone taped to the uh, Gamecube Wavebird here.

Anyway, I'll show you something you can do with the raffle tickets you pick up from here.

[''Exits Nook's Store'']

Instead of making a [[Tour of Chris's House|mess in my house]], I bury them right here, next to the Nook Shop. It's a good place to locate them. So when I'm ready at the end of the month, I just pick up as many as I can hold.

[''Digs up raffle ticket, then buries it again'']

I'm just going to put it back, because it ain't November 30th yet. Oh I guess I don't need this shovel anymore.

[''Puts away shovel'']

Now I'm going to make use of this uh, sign here, the way I should have long time ago, because I didn't think about it. It's already been done in Cwc City, but... Right here by the Post Office, you can use your GBA, oh, well that's a bad place for it. I'm picking it back up. Oh what do you know, another weed.

[''Pulls weed'']

Must of missed that earlier. Anyway, you may post a design, Gameboy Advance, whoops.

[''Picks up sign accidentally'']

What'd I do that for, I'm puttin' it back.

[''Puts it back and adds Gameboy design again'']

There we go. [''Burps''] Excuse me. Hm, I've got well over fifty thousand, so I'm going to make a deposit.

[''Enters Post Office'']

It's ny- It's a good idea to- that you guys did have when you made this thing not only a post office. Oh, I got to mail off that fossil anyway. And I don nee- And it's a good idea to not only you make this into a post office but a bank, saves ya a building. So anyway, see, let's make a deposit. One, two, three, four, five.

[''Deposits 50,000 bells'']

Seven hundred and fifty thousand. It's good saved. I made most of my money from the e-Reader swipes, which I'll tell you about that in Cwc City.

[''Exits Post Office'']

Anyway, uh, lets see. I guess that's it for Cwcville. You guys will be back later. And that- And when you come back, I'll tell you about this sign here. [''Sign saying "H.F.A"'']

Anyway, I'm going home, and I'm gonna save. You may save, Mister Gyroid.

[''Goes inside the house to save, hums a bit'']

You may save and quit.

[''Noise in the background, possibly the radio'']

[''Chris begins to sing''] Do-do-do-do-do-do-do, hey mellow color! Yellow is a mellow color, yes it is. [''Chris stops singing'']

Okay. see you in Cwcville- I mean Cwc City.

[''Title screen'']

At this time, I switched the memory cards. Cuz, ah, I got Cwcvville currently in Slot A, and Cwc City in Slot B. I'm switching the two, putting City in Slot A and Ville in Slot B. So now I'm pressin' the start button.

And here's a resident, Iggy. Here you got- get that down. Cwc City, that's the name of the city right there.

[''Yellow Is A Mellow Color playing faintly in the background'']

And that's her name, Crystal, make sure you get that down. Alright, getting things ready. Have a blast, huh, well that's a fun thing to say.

[''Cwc City is loaded, and starts'']

Anyway ah, this is Crystal. She's wearing the uh, Rosechu look. There's a Zapbud on the door, I got Sonichu- Rosechu's mug right here. [''A sign with Rosechu's face on it''] Yeah, an her ensemble, but let's take a tour of her house first.

[''Goes inside the house'']

It ain't much since, uh, she basically got started, but she's almost done paying off her debt to old Nook. There's your website again. [''A Nintendo bench with their website on it''] Oh look, there's the R-Wing, launching into the uh, Super Mario Brother's World. [''The wallpaper is from Mario'']

Which reminds me, I got to get those two boxes to those two passwords later. Anyway, here's her diary. She got started only on November twelfth. Sonichu got started on October twenty-fourth. Anyway let's see, what else have we got here. Yeah, I got the two logos. Well would you look at that, I got them in the wrong place.

[''Starts moving around the logos'']

Oh well, I'll just move 'em. I didn't notice that before, I got 'em in the wrong place. Well that's no problem. I'll just quickly move them around. Hm, they make it loo- You guys make it look tough to move things around, but actually it's not. Let's see what time it is. Oh, it's one forty-five, huh? Well, it's getting close to being later in the afternoon.

There's her tree, she's getting ready for Christmas too. Let's take a quick trip upstairs.

[''Goes upstairs'']

She got her NES games she got collected up here. A plain old falsehood right there, Super Tortimer. Why'd you guys make that game up anyway? It's so- It's stupid. Cuz it's fake. Anyway, here's a thing. I got lucky and found this. I think I dug it up. Oh-no, wait a minute, I got it from Redd, long time ago. Oh, here's her harvest bed. I got a couple empty tables for- getting ready for a couple more NES games. [''Sighs'']

[''Goes downstairs'']

Anyway uh,

[''Continues down to the basement'']

Her basement isn't sa- as busy as uh, Cwcville, but she's got a few models down here. A couple of tracks models. Oh, there's the Moon. You guys made that thing really big you know, it's too big for me, if you ask my opinion.

Huh, Katrina's a little off, I'm just gonna move her real quick, there we go. Alright, you know there's the glow clock, you notice I had glow [[pickles|cock]]- glow clock in the basement in Cwcville as well.

Oh, you know what, ah, ruh- Crystal's worn her Rosechu outfit long enough.

[''Tries to change her outfit'']

Oops. I guess I can't do that yet. Well, never mind.

[''Goes upstairs'']

Anyway, moving on.

[''Leaves house'']

Before we take a tour of the city, I'mma tell you how to make a f- how you make a fun profit with the e-Reader. I'll check the bulletin board.

[''Checks the bulletin board'']

Ah, that's an oldie.

[''Walks to the Train Station'']

Anyway, 'course, there's the Train Station, I told you earlier about that in Cwcville. There's Rosey's mug. You see no statue cuz, she hasn't paid her debt off. That's why we're going to do this with Crystal. Oh, give me a second would ja, I got to do something real quick.

[''A few seconds pass'']

I'm having my Game Boy and my Wavebird at the same time. That's why I put it over there too.

I use my uh, SP as well here. You know, ah, my funds uh, right here, right? Help my funds. I'm gonna- show you guys something real quick- I use my Game Boy Advance SP to help me out here, since you know, the Digimon deal. Not only that, but, the noise it makes, helps me, uh, clarify, whether I uh, got the card read right. I usually do it ten at a time, I'll tell- elaborate about that more later. But I'm gonna do this on purpose, uh, swipe it awkwardly.

Oops, I musta goofed up. Anyway, gonna try that again, see and ah uh, hear the noise that makes.

Oh, that's right, cuz, ya see, I uh, prepared in advance by, uh, [''Clears throat''] you know, showing you showing my profit.

By goin' on ahead and takin' care of the first set of thirty cards out of 63 that I own so far. Cuz like I said, do it ten at a time. By anyway, ah,

[''Exits Post Office'']

[''Sighs'']

Let me just go ahead an uh, show you how you make a nice little profit. Okay, first step you uh, swipe the first ten cards, right? Cuz that's the maximum you can hold in your mailbox. Open your mailbox, get your ten letters into your hold there. And then you just, ah, grab and drop it to the first ten slots. By the way, rule of thumb, elaborate earlier with the five down here. Cuz you know, when you ah, sell your items to Tom, it usually ends up on the first item, and you- that, that way you have these guys on the bottom, they will not get in the way, you won't have to move the uh, hand.

So anyway, uh, we're gonna go to the Nook Shop. There's Iggy again, gonna play with his ball. Like I said, I haven't gotten that far here yet, in Cwc City.

[''Enters Nook Shop'']

There's old Tom. I've taken care of all my uh, errands, like ah, Chris and the little Sonichu I showed you back there. Anyway, we're going to do some selling.

[''Starts selling things to Nook, some other song from Christian and the Hedgehog Boys in the background'']

Obviously, I don't have sa- much to say at this point. So I'm just going to let you guys listen to the music while I sell.

[About 30 seconds later, he finishes selling, and leaves the store]

Okay, I got more to say. After I uh, sell the uh, first set ten, I get that out of the way. Like I said before, of course I do this with the R button.

[''Starts removing gifts from letters, then deleting the letters'']

I just pick up, and put 'em over there. 'Course, I have precise order, I do it from the first letters- first card swiped to the last card swiped. I usually swipe them in the uh, in order of their card numbers. Cuz ah, that's just the way I do it. Also, I use the uh, ''Animal Crossing'' card that came with the e-Reader,you notice the musical note in the first set. I just count that as card triple zero. Makes a good idea, by the way, according to- by the way, speaking of the e-Reader cards, you guys should really uh, print out some more uh, of series- more of the early series. like series one. Cuz, you know, since I just just started you sh- I really want to collect those. And uh, I really would like if you uh, publish some more of those uh, series ones. I don't care if do like you know, second edition or whatever. But print out more of those cards, please. Anyway, uh, I just click- just [[Mailbag|read the letters real quick and then throw them away]] like junk mail. After I get rid of the presents.

[''Finishes throwing letters away'']

By the way, I hope you guys took note of the uh, amount in the previous deal in the Post Office. Anyway, after I delete the last letters, I open them up.

[''Opening up all his gifts'']

One by one, in an orderly flash- orderly fashion. A'most said orderly flashin'! Anyway...

[''Finishes opening his gifts'']

Let's see, with that done, I head back home.

[''Runs to his mailbox'']

And get the next set of ten I have ready. And then I head back to the Post Office.

[''Runs to Post Office'']

And swipe the next set of ten.

[''Enters Post Office'']

And uh, just to let you know, every fifty- every point over fifty thousand, you should make a deposit. But since I'm a good number at start, I'm not gonna do that. So, uh, after all the uh, e-Reader swipes, you should come up to a very nic-

[''Video cuts out for a second, possibly the result of Chris editing the video so we wouldn't have to wait for him to swipe the e-Reader cards'']

an profable- profitable proposition there. And after ah, swiping all those cards, then a nice grand total there. We can make a very generous donation. Or should I say deposit? The usual fifty-thou.

[''Deposits 50,000 bells'']

Here ya go. No thank you. Well, anyway ah, besides ah, selling those things, those uh, profitable items from the e-Reader cards, if there are any I haven't collected yet, I usually just keep 'em.

[''Exits Post Office'']

(Cuz I like the sound of them?) Like for example, the uh, Pansy models downstairs. And well, since that's over with.

[''Changes shirt'']

She just changed into her regular- her uh, nice warm clothing for the winter. Her ski sweater. So anyway, uh, let's see uh. Oh yes, I guess I should- she shoul- we should give you a tour of Cwc City.

Well, you have seen the uh, Post Office, and the Nu- Nook Shop. But I'll tell you the dump is in the opposite location compared to CWCville. And there it is, the dump. And uh, let's see. There's Money. She used to live in CWCville but she moved here. And there's Sally. She moved here.

[''Checks map'']

I have to check the map every now and then because the different location. Let's see, there's Carmen. [''Sing-song''] Carmen San Diego! Carmen San Diego!... Causing mischief around the world!

Let's see now. Oh yeah, that's Pinky. That's Pinky. There's the Museum. Oh, would you look at this, a hole in the ground. Let's see what's in it.

[''Digs up fossil'']

And it's [[Bob|an antique]]!

Must have missed that one previously. Oh well, I'll just simply write the old Museum a letter. Or not write a letter. Like I sent it to them anyway. [Goes to put away shovel, then changes his mind]

Ah, I best to hold on to that just in case. Let's see. Oh, Katrina's tent, she's here today. And there's Rollo. I think a friend sen- I think of Sanford and Son everytime I see Rollo. [''Scatman Chris''] Doo-doo-doo-doo-a-rawdl-et-do-do-do-do-alot-dude-alot-do-do-dolot-a-dood-alot-dooo. Do-do.

Speakin' of fr- speakin' of Sanford and Sons, my father an I, we have a relationship like Stanford and Son. He starts more arguments than there are flies in a garbage dump. Anyway, let's see, I took every care of business, and I do not need to talk to Copper, but there's the Police Station.

And what's at the shoreline for that stupid bird, and possibly anymore uh, holes in the ground.

[''Singing'']

There's nothing quite like a hole in the ground, hole in the ground, hole in the ground. There's nothing like a hole in the ground, here is, the lighthouse!

[''Stops singing'']

We got a stone bridge here in the city.

[''Sings again'']

There's nothing like a hole in the ground, a hole in the ground

[''Stops singing'']

Oh, we got two neighbors up here. Let's see. Yeah. There's a, Jeremiah. we got a new neighbor. Yeah, that was Pinky. She moved in today. Anyway, there;s the Tailor Shop. Right here. Already took you there over in Cwc Ci- Cwcville. And well, here's the dock. The island is, uh, we kept it for the ah, kre- for a memorial, we used Tim Timetale's island. As uh, we uh, trans- we exchanges between us- we exchanged it with the original island of Cwc City. Anyway, it's got the Tim Timetale flag on it. So we're not going to bother going there. Anyway, you know the two signs.

[''Goes to Wishing Well'']

Well. That joke never gets old. Anyway, there are two holiday signs, got 'em down here, here in the city. There's Rosey, and we got the Sonichu site logo here as well. There's a uh, shovel tree. That's Buzz. Buzz Lightyear. To infinity, and on your head! Oh, and there's uh, Cashmire. I got a card for Baah-bra. Huh, too bad she ain't here. And uh, I'm not sure, oh wait, yes I'm sure. Yeah, you have seen him, uh, Iggy. He's around here somewhere. I'm not gonna bother. Anyway, here's the Nook Shop, once again. And well, uh, I guess that's it for uh, Cwc City. oh, I got the fishing tourney sign around here somewhere. You've already seen that, so I'm not gonna bother finding it.

Anyway uh, let's see. Oh, I got to mail this uh, fossil off. After I do that, we're going to go back over to Cwcville for uh, closing ceremonies of this great documentary I've put together. you'll find out what that "H.F.A" stands for.

[''Goes inside post office'']

So, stay tuned! And relax.

[''Starts mailing letter'']

In the meantime, here's some music.

[''Plays Yellow is a Mellow Color'']

[''Exits Post office'']

[''Goes and saves his game'']

[''Start screen'']

[''Loads Cwcville'']

[''Finally turns off Yellow is a Mellow Color'']

Welcome back to Cwcville! And we're here for the closing ceremonies, so the uh, documentary of the city of Cwcville and Cwc City in Animal Crossing, [''Raises pitch of voice''] for Nintendo Gamecube! But first, I'm gonna tell you a couple of things. Sonichu and Rosechu. [''Burps''] [''Faintly''] Excuse me.
I'm just going to let you know who they are, they're Pokémon. I made them up. They're both Electric-types, alright. Obviously. Sonichu and Rosechu are Pokémon I made up. They're Electric-types. They've got evolution, [[Metonic]] and [[Vamprosa]]. You want pictures, you gotta ask me for them. Also they got baby forms, [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and Rosey]], they're cuties. So anyway, if you've missed it the first couple of times.

[''Shows bulletin saying "CWC's Sonichu Site!
http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm"'']

Here is one last time. Okay, and uh, to answer the all important question; What is the meaning of "H.F.A"? With the two red eyes. I will tell you. Got that? it means "High Functionally [[Autism|Autism]]" because that's what I am, I'm High Functionally Autistic. I may have autism, but since I'm [[honor roll|high functional]], I do all- I can do alot of things. I mean otherwise I wouldn't even do this documentary I'm doing right now.

So let's see, is there anything else I need to cover? Well, I guess not. But anyway, uh, this is the city of Cwcville and there's a- don't forget Sonichu website if you want to go see it. I've been playing video games for as long as I can remember. And listening to music as long as I can remember. So, we're going to end this documentary by obviously leaving. If you want credits, ya have to look at the uh, enclosed letter.

[''Starts saving game'']

But anyway, uh, pu- for in the submission of Nintendo Power. This has been a, [[Chris and Ego|documentary narrated by Christian Weston Chandler]]. Thank you very much, and I hope that you will [[Chris and Reality|consider this for publication]]. Bye now.

[''Nintendo logo and title screen. There is a voice in the background, possibly [[Snorlax]], saying "Stop!"'']

[''The video normally ends here, but on other versions of it, this is followed by 5 commercials for the game, and then...'']

[''Shows bulletin reading "For Nintendo Power...A Bonus Feature! Later on...". The character moves towards a golden statue reading "This statue was erected in honor of Crystal's loan repayment!". The character moves around some trees, bushes and the sign board, before moving to the bulletin board, flipping to a new page. Chris types in "Bye-Bye!" and then a happy face. He then throws out the letter, and then moves back to the bonus feature one for a few seconds before the video finally ends.'']

==''Nintendo Power'' article==

''[[Nintendo Power]]''’s May 2004 article on Chris’s documentary covers only Sonichu’s life in Cwcville. The way that the article speaks of Sonichu’s actions, most casual readers would be led to believe that “Sonichu” is the real name of the person who submitted the documentary.

[[Image:CWCSchuCross.jpg|thumb|center]]

===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary'''

Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!

''(Image captions)''

*Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.
*He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.
*And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.
*Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular Poké Ball.}}

==PVCC's news report==

The 26 April 2004 issue of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC's]] school newspaper, ''The Forum'', included a news report on the "accomplishments" of then-student Christian Chandler. The first half of the article discusses Chris's OFFICIAL and ORIGINIAL creation, Sonichu, while the second half covers Chris's Animal Crossing Documentary, going so far as to quote ''[[Nintendo Power]]'''s own coverage. Everyone can draw their conclusions of how slow news day it was at the PVCC by comparing how big the ''Nintendo Power'' article was, and how big this article was.

===Transcript===

[[File:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|center|Meet Sonichu]]

{{quotenews|'''Meet Sonichu''' ''Student featured in "Nintendo Power"''

By Kari Mitchell ''The Forum assistant editor''

Most everyone has a hobby. It may be hard to find free time in between classes, especially with exam week quickly approaching, but PVCC student Christian Chandler, has dedicated many hours to his past time. He is the creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

Like Sonic, Sonichu can run at high speeds. "During Super Sonic's battle against the [[Perfect Chaos Monster|Perfect Chaos monster]] (''Sonic Adventure DX'' for Gamecube), Super Sonic was spat out by the monster, and colldied with a by-standing Pikachu," Chandler explained. According to his story, the power from the Chaos Emeralds transformed Pikachu into Sonichu.

The idea for the character came from a project Chandler was assigned his senior year of high school. He was enrolled in a computer graphics class that required him to design a CD cover. His original idea was to put Sonic and Pikachu on the cover, however, both characters are copyrighted. Instead he decided to combine the characters into something all his own. Thus, on March 17, 2000, Sonichu was born.

Over time, Chandler began to mold and expand the life of Sonichu, giving him stories, homemade trading cards, clay figures, a board game, and a [[Sonichu medallion]] with charms, among other things.

Chandler and the world he created for Sonichu were featured in the May 2004 issue of ''Nintendo Power.'' The place was called Cwcville (The "Cwc" prefix are his initials, Christian Weston Chandler). Nintendo Power was apparently impressed with Chandler's work. "Simply amazing. There's no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville - a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life." The documentary, running about an hour, was taped from the Nintendo Gamecube title, ''Animal Crossing''. He dubbed his voice over the sound through a microphone and audio input in his VCR. In the documentary, Chandler covers "basically how I do things in ''Animal Crossing'' as the boy character, Sonichu, in the city of Cwcville." Some of the tasks include using the journal as a monthly diary, making money, customizing the city, and conversing with another ''Animal Crossing'' city. For now, Sonichu remains a hobby in the future, Chandler would like to see Sonichu and his friends as real Pokémon, even having their own Nintendo Gamecube video game title. "I am not really sure what to do in order to do all that," Chandler said, "but for now, Sonichu and I, Christian C., are in Nintendo Power Magazine!"}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]|nextlink=[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]|}}

{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2003-11-22]]
[[Category:Videos About or Featuring Farts]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2017-12-29T20:46:51Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS */

{{Honest}}
{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence|fecal leakage]]. Coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009, it has quickly become a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris unwittingly shits himself often. Even after encouragement from his doctor and from his mother, Chris would refuse to wear [[butt garments]] because, according to the [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]], he felt they were for [[Sonee & Rosey|babies]]. He had only one or two episodes where he wore the butt garments; though they were only worn because Ivy told him it was his punishment for cheating on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing [[Tomgirl Pictures|women's underwear]], Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS." On further prodding from the trolls, he went on to reveal that most of the time he didn't even realize he'd crapped his briefs until well after the fact. Why Chris felt the need to [[Honest Content|surrender this information]] is [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond our understanding]], although given the context of the conversation (Clyde accusing him of wearing his mother's panties), Chris may have felt that [[Autism|offering more details]] on his supposed preference for male underwear - namely, that he wears them enough to shit in them - would reinforce his point.

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it.<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref> Given Chris's gloried history of [[Honest content|bad taste and indiscretion]], this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the ever expanding list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a [[July 2011]] post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]</ref> Ironically, Chris's desperation to prove he does not wear women's underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet, although evidence suggests he has.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[File:Ship my bed.jpg|thumb|Normal behavior for Chris.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school, especially whenever he got stressed out.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would considerately toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "[[My Little Pony|That's]] [[Lego|for]] [[Toys|babies]]!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, in the hope that Chris would either wear the diapers or actually do the adult thing and start washing his own clothes. Of course, Chris did neither; a short while later he was called by a troll who pretended to be Clyde Cash and made a series of [[death threats]], making Chris genuinely afraid for his life and leading to him dropping a massive load in his sheets while asleep that night. After that, Barb relented and started washing Chris's laundry again.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

Additionally, given the filthy condition of the Chandler house, this is also a straight-up guarantee that Chris, Barbara, Bob (when he was alive), and nearly anyone who enters his house enters a dung cave of no escape: having to deal with Chris' shit leaves you coated in it, both metaphorically and literally. [http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/washing-machines-loaded-bacteria-dirty-clothes/story?id=10751420]

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

Considering that Chris's bowel issues have been occurring since childhood, it's most likely related to his [[autism]], as bowel issues have been known to occur among people with the disorder, particularly in the more severely-affected types.

==Menstrual pads==
During the [[Tomgirl Saga]], the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] leaked images of Chris holding a box of feminine hygiene pads<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-526#post-1298729</ref> and explained the context:

{{quoteboxred|Heh, also, Chris got these to control his pants shitting. See, the doctor suggested Chris get diapers, but he screeched "but dose are for baybeeees!! :c"

Now that he can use menstrual pads instead, that's A-OK for a beautiful young flower like Christine.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 1.jpeg
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

In 2015's [[A little song and dance]], a box of pads is clearly visible behind Chris, while he "dances" in his bedroom.

In a [[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"|paid video]] from 2016, Chris knocked over the camera, revealing an upskirt shot of him wearing a pantiliner. He reacted angrily to comments about it<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#IT'S A PANTYLINER, NOT A DIAPER!]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|Ugh! Dumb People! What you saw in the Accidental crotch shot were my Panties, Pantyliner, and Pantyhose. No Diaper! What the hell is wrong with some people? }}

==IRC Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL]]
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> [[Chris and his Ego#Surrendering Information|WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION]]
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

Animal Crossing Documentary

2017-12-17T01:45:42Z

Acrylicpaint:

The '''''[[Animal Crossing]]''''' '''Documentary''' is an hour-long video featured on [[Chris]]'s homemade [[DVD]]. Here, you can watch 21-year-old [[Chris]] reach the peak of his maturity, as he immerses himself in a video game targeted for kids on one cold November afternoon.

==Analysis==
The video offers tours of two different towns saved on two different memory cards. The town of [[CWCville]] is home to [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], who wears a Sonichu outfit. The town of CWC City is home to [[Daughter|Crystal]], who wears a [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] outfit.

Some of the narration centers around Chris complaining to [[Nintendo]] about his many personal problems. One can only imagine how the hapless ''Nintendo Power'' employee tasked with watching this video felt at hearing Chris [[Virgin with rage|constantly bringing up his virginity and lack of a girlfriend]]. He expects the company to remember his [[fan]] letters regarding his dreams. He also implies that the company should send him [[Chris and reality|birthday presents]], reissue trading cards that went out of print so Chris can collect them, and adopt his fan characters as official [[Pokémon]]. He also expresses his distaste for [[Sony|the PlayStation and the PS2]], but speaks fondly of many obsolete consoles he owns that weren't made by Nintendo. He also mentions he dislikes a ''[[Wikipedia:Beyblade: Super Tournament Battle|Beyblade]]'' game because it's "not real" which is [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|disturbing]] in retrospect.

The [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]' debut album is featured prominently, as Chris sings several of the songs aloud and has the CD on repeat playing quietly in the background. [[Yellow is a Mellow Color]] plays at least three times in the span of an hour. He also sings along to parts of the game. Much like the boatman Charon ferried the souls of the damned to Hades, a character shuttles Sonichu across a river while Chris sings in the voice that got him fired from [[Wendy's]]. The singing becomes high-pitched gibberish after two stanzas.

There are a few odd moments, like where Chris compares two fighting insects to ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', says a [[Niggos|dark-skinned]] hippopotamus reminds him of [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|Sanford and Son]], and talks about his strained relationship with his father. Chris also doesn't mention the [[Wikipedia:Joy to the World (Hoyt Axton song)|bullfrog character named Jeremiah]], showing his ignorance of popular [[Chris and music|music]] outside of crappy 90's pop music and the older music [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] liked. Also, he will gladly pull weeds in this game but not in [[Father Call|real life]].

Chris mentions "profit" from selling in-game items over and over again. This in no way involves real money and is just Chris selling easily-found items dropped by the game to purchase more furniture and crap, which he finds validating. Chris probably enjoys the game because it showers him with rewards for completing simple tasks, none of which are challenging or stressful.

Chris mentions that his favorite of the NES games available to play in-game is ''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong Jr. Math|Donkey Kong Jr. Math]]'' because it "really [[Slow-in-the-minds|challenges the mind]] in the math area". The math featured in the game is simple arithmetic that should be well below the average middle schooler's level, much less that of a 21-year-old high school graduate on the [[honor roll]].

This "[[documentary]]" also provides insight into how Chris projects his own lifestyle onto a video game. His hoarding enters the realm of video games, as he uses his island house to store almost a dozen dressers full of in-game objects. His two houses are full of clutter, his in-game bedrooms look eerily like [[Chris's room|his own]] (right down to a small bed surrounded by clutter), and he refers to every generic "nice" female character as being [[sweetheart|sweet]], and being a genuine [[gal pal|friend]] of his.

This is Chris at his most infantile, immersing himself in a game full of soft animal characters with no conflict or challenge. Throughout the documentary, Chris tells jokes that [[Random access humor|don't make sense in the given context]] and [[Chris and music|plays his poorly dubbed versions of pop songs]]. Note that most of the animals in the game immediately run into their houses whenever Chris tries to go near them.

==Video==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name=Animal Crossing Documentary
| image = {{#ev:youtube|5QtOj7rNFCY}}
| Stardate = 22nd [[November 2003]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Video games|text}}, {{Website|text}}
| Other = {{Direct Feed|text}}, {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[The City of Cwicville Tour!#Watch|The City of Cwicville Tour]]
| next = [[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special#Part 1|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
}}</center>

===Outline===

{| class="wikitable"
| 00:01-01:24 || Introduction
|-
| 01:25-19:39 || Tour of Cwcville (part 1 of 2)
|-
| 19:40-25:19 || Trip to Cwcville Island
|-
| 25:20-35:24 || Tour of Cwcville (part 2 of 2)
|-
| 35:25-36:44 || Interlude
|-
| 36:45-52:39 || Tour of Cwc City
|-
| 52:40-53:39 || Interlude
|-
| 53:40-55:54 || Conclusion
|}

==Transcription==

'''Introduction'''

[''Video begins with the Nintendo GameCube startup logo as Chris sings along like a retard, followed by the Nintendo logo with Chris saying "Nintendo."'']

[00:24]

Hello Nintendo! Welcome to my ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube. I am your host. My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I live in [[Ruckersville]], Virginia and I is [''sic''] 21 years old and I play because I am young at heart. So anyway we are going to take a tour of my ci-ty...in ''Animal Crossing''.

[''Goes to main menu'']

[00:48]

The city's name is CWCville. See, those are my initials CWC. That's why it is spelled that way.

[''Picking menu options'']

[01:01]

And my character's name is Sonichu. You may remember him from, ahh, previous letters I have sent to you guys in the past.

[01:10]

[''Game starts to load town'']

Anyway we are going to get set up now. [''Chris starts singing'']

[''Game is done loading'']

We usually do have a good time.

[1:25]

So anyway, stepping out is my character [[Sonichu]]. He's wearing the [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] with the character on it. Like I said you might remember his face. And there's his actual face.

[''Shows a sign with the face of Sonichu on it'']

You remember the rest of his body you see the whole picture.

And before we get to the daily routines I'm goin' let you...I'm goin' to take you on a tour of my [[house]] as well as uh, as well as you know, uh, a daily routine. We'll take a tour of the town, but first the house. You see this logo here, that is the logo to [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my website on the internet]]. If you would like to visit, here is the address. I'm going to leave it up for a few seconds.

[''Shows the address to his website for a few seconds'']

[2:02]

Alright, that's enough. Now we're gonna take a [[Tour of Chris's House|tour of my house]].

Turn on the light so you can see better. This is my first floor, obviously. I keep things well organized. I got room to walk around in; I can even dance, wanna see me do I bit?

[''Chris begins to sing'']

[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color|Yellow is a mellow color]] 
Yes it is a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps a lightning 
EEEEEHHHHH mellow color 

[''Chris stops singing'']

Yeah. Course...a...when I, a...do a dance...I usually like to have my uh...audience.

[''Chris puts a wallpaper up on his house, resembling wrestling fans who just witnessed a Stone Cold Stunner.'']

Dodedododododoo. But since it's getting close to [[Christmas]], I have the snowflakes on the wall instead. And I keep it in this closet. So anyway here's a fun thing. This snowman, he teach me how to play piano. And by the way just to let you know in case...a...you can hear the, a...music in the background.

[''Chris appears to be playing [[So Need A Cute Girl]]'']

Those are my karaoke numbers that I actually ma...that I actually made up lyrics to, and I have played and, uh, sang my voice over the originals. So let me give you an example; may I Mister Snowman? "Please go right ahead!" Alright.

[''Chris begins to sing again while Sonichu bangs on the piano, which emits no sound'']

[[Dirty_crapped_briefs|Tell me why]] 
I'm stuck as a 
[[Virgin with Rage]]? 
[[Semen#Recycling|Tell me why]] 
I so need a 
Cute Girl my age 
[[Medallions_of_Fail|Tell me why]] 
I never wanna 
Hear you say 
I have a boyfriend!

[''Chris stops singing'']

And that was inspired by a [[Love Quest|real thing]]. By the way that's your website...that is your website isn't it? Nintendo.com, it's a nice place to visit; but we cannot live there. Which brings us up to our next subject...

[''A calendar of November appears on the screen'']

...the [[diary]]. You guys did a good job of it going back and forth within a 12 month radius. By the way, this is my birthday, right here my actual birthday, I was born in 1982. You guys...in case you want to take a note there. OK, that's long enough. So anyway uh, it does make a...not only does it work for a calendar, but it makes for a good monthly journal. As for a monthly journal entry here in November.

[''Chris begins to scroll up and down his journal entry'']

Yeah I tried to get a girlfriend because, I don't have a girlfriend. But I have made up a poem, let you guys read it.

{{quotebox|My dreams of getting a girlfriend was crushed by the medeling [''sic''] [[Mary_Lee_Walsh|"Mary Lee Walsh."]] 
Christian Chandler. 
November 4, 2003 
Saddest Heart in the World 
Lonesome and sad, lonesome and sad, the "Mastermind" is very bad. In efforts of getting a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free gal]], that female dog took my only idea for a fall. Heart-broken, sad and very lonely, I'll never remove my virginity. And with Backstreet Boys' tune, I sing my lonesome croon: "Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage. Tell me why, I so need a...}}

All right. Scroll down a little bit as we go along.

''...cute girl my age. Tell me why, I ain't ever wanna hear you say 'I have a boyfriend.'" And so, deep in dreary thought, a girl was what I sought. A stitch in time, will never remove my...''

It's a very good pro...poem, because I am an artist, as well as a poet. I make a rhyme every time.

''...crying rhyme. I may be destined for loneliness forever, fate is to blame...whatever. I conclude this cry, to say that as long as there are no matching girls, my happiness well runs dry.''

Anyway that's my poem, but in case...a, you didn't notice here. Look right here, "Tell me why, I'm stuck as a virgin with rage." I put my song lyric in here because it was inspired; because I do not have a girlfriend. You know why, cause I have a [[Noviophobia|phobia]] that every girl I talk to she already has a boyfriend.

Right. So anyway moving on with the tour of my house. As you can see I've got- I'm collecting the NES games. I've got most of them down here, and I've got a couple upstairs. One of 'em's fake you know the one I'm talking about, does April 1st strike a bell? But my favorite game is right here.

[''"Would you like to play 
DK Jr MATH?"'']

I like it because...a, it really challenges the mind in the math area and gets your memory fresh there. And by the way, notice the two logos here?

[''Chris is making a motion towards the GameCube and N64 logos'']

It's a good way to welcome the guests, that come into your house. Ol' Nintendo 64 on the left, and GameCube on the right, caught them before an after deal. Oh and look at this, a good little south feng shui here. Of course makes for a good welcome mat. Speaking of feng shui, I've got my red items against the east side, in hopes of getting more NES games; specially that Wario's Woods. By the way, how the heck do you get that game anyway? I mean all you tell us do to is to go to Animal Island. And then what the heck do we do? You should have given us more details, back in the previous issue of uh, the Crossing Guardian.

Speaking of which I've been a long time subscriber. So therefore I've got all their previous issues. And I time travel back and forth when I start ''Animal Crossing'' to collect a few items, but in respect to uh...time traveling back because I missed a few items, I made a new character named "Tim Timetale" and, uh, he time-traveled back and got the remaining items, give them to me, as well as the other character I made up, and, uh, the, uh, the other city in Slot B, which, uh, I'll tell you about that later.

[6:45]

[''Character walks up stairs to the second floor of house'']

Anyway, we're going upstairs. This is my [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. It's a lot of fun, isn't it, because I like to make things fun since, you know, I'm young at heart. And here's a fun joke. Turn on the [[TV]] [''he does, but it just shows static''] sit down and watch TV while I wait t-to get on the [[Internet]]. It's a good way to kill time anyway. Anyway, here's the fake [''brings up caption for the April Fool's NES game, Super Tortimer'']. Sound familiar? Right [''[[sigh|sighs]]'']. Anyway, this is my bed. The harvest bed. Nice choice, isn't it? I'm going to take a quick nap.

[7:17]

[''Character lays down on bed while Chris makes snoring noises too close to the microphone'']

OK. Nap's over. All right. You want to see my music collection? [''Brings up music menu''] It's all good. I got them all courtesy of K.K. Slider. Well, of course, the first one was a freebie from the e-Reader card. "Swipe, Swipe, Swipe". Anyway, here's the fan and the Mario Brothers stuff. Oh, and uh you notice what time it is? It's 1:15. Good time to start. In the afternoon.

[7:48]

[''Character walks down stairs to first floor of house'']

Anyway, now we're going down to the basement.

[''Character walks down stairs to the basement of house'']

Let me just turn on the lights. I keep my models down here. It's a nice little aero fa [sic] models, and I leave enough room for me to walk around in. Well, that's a cute joke.

''"Hey. Stop. You're under arrest."'' 
''"What for?"'' 
''"For, uh, being the black market, you red fox."'' 
''"Ah, geez."'' 

And I got both houses. Yeah, I scored that high with the HRA. Notice this train? I wonder where it's headed to. It's probably headed over to the memory card in Slot B. I'll tell you about that city later. Anyway. This is where I do my cooking. If, uh, if you can ever do your cooking in ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube. I have that DVD. And this is the fridge. I could store my food in there, but I can't. What? Does it have a padlock on it or something? Oh, look. Here's my phone. Let's make a phone call. [''Pulls up phone menu, calling the Dial-a-Psychic''] Hello? Thank you. Good advice. Hey. Let's have a seat on this thing. I like this thing. Listen to this. [''Character sits on the couch and it makes a fart noise'']. Let me do that again. [''Character again jumps on the farting couch''] One more time. [''Character again jumps on farting couch with predictable results''] OK. That's enough. Too much fun and [[Random-access humor|you'll die laughing]].

[9:04]

[''Character walks up stairs to first floor of house'']

So anyway, that's my house. Let me just turn off the lights before I leave.

[''Character walks out the front door of house'']

Alright, now where going to go through my daily routines. As well as a tour of the town.

[''Pause menu pops up'']

You notice I've got an empty inventory. And by the way, here's a good rule of thumb. Keeping my shovel, net, pole, axe, and letters here on the bottom row. You know why? I'll tell you bout that when we get to the next shop. Anyway, I usually check my mail; what do you know I got three presents. Let's see what this one is though. [[Bob]].

''How ARE you, Sonichu? Well now, I bet your bottom Bell you didn't expect me to cut out and split town, huh? Nope, I shocked the world! I'm turning over a new leaf- see you on the flip side! Laters, Bob''

Oh I guess he moved out, oh well.

[''Sonichu proceeds to throw out poor Bob's letter, then collect his gifts from the remaining letters'']

Anyway, let's see what we got from the, uh, probably from the museum; because I dig up those fossils and uh...I sell them. Makes a nice profit.

[''Sonichu throws away all three letters'']

I just quickly uh read through them and then throw them away. You know like...junk mail! You could also say pop-ups if they had "x's" on em.

[''Sonichu begins to open his gifts'']

See what we got here, A dinosaur track, a Tricera tail, and a dinosaur egg. Well that'll make a nice profit. By the way, in case you missed it the first time I'll put it up again.

[''Once again shows the address to his website'']

Ok you got it, alright now. Before we head to Nook's shop which will be the last stop on the tour; we go- we're gonna take the rest of the tour here. Alright let's see. Well this is the train station. But I travel to the other city which I'll tell you about now. The name of the city is CWCcity. Spelled C-W-C-c-i-t-y, we'll visit there later, but not by train of course. It'll be a hou-It'll be a run by the, uh, character named [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]], C-r-y-s-t-a-l, when we get there. All right. Oh, look at this, a hole in the ground.

[''opens the menu to equip his golden shovel'']

Yeah, you see, sometimes there's an item in CWCcity. I don't have it here in CWCville because I have CWCville a lot longer than CWCcity. I bring stuff from CWCcity over here.

[''he digs up the buried item - it's a folding chair'']

'Cause obviously I did not collect this one yet. I got a good memory.

[''Sonichu screws up and digs another hole; he cleans both of them up'']

And also, you know, I got a good taste for music because I grew up on music. So anyway let's move on with- oh, you notice this [a golden statue of Sonichu]? You know why this is here?

[''This statue was erected in honor of Sonichu's full loan repayment!'']

I paid my debt. And this is Sonichu's mug again, right next to the master.

[''Sonichu runs past a sign reading "H.F.A." with two almost invisible red eyes'']

Oh, look at this. H.F.A. And very mean eyes. Must mean something bad. ...I know what it means. I'll tell you about it at the end of the documentary here. Uh, the city of CWCville and CWCcity, or otherwise all the deal [?] in ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube, in a nutshell.

[''Sonichu enters the acre with the post office on it'']

So anyway, here's the post office, do my mailing and such and the e-Reader swipes. By the way there's a good way to profit from the e-Reader, I'll tell you about it in CWCcity.

[''Sonichu comes across a shining ring in the ground'']

Oh, what do you know! A money spot. I'll just dig up the thousand bells.

[''Sonichu pulls a shovel out of his inventory and digs up the money sack'']

Yep, thousand bells, just bury that up. Mmm, drag it up there. Use the R button to quickly pick up the items.

[''Sonichu enters the acre with the dump in it, he enters it'']

Anyway, here's the dump. I come here first, pick up the- whatever items I want every time I start ''Animal Crossing''. Hmm, got a shirt, what do we have here? A plant. I's have picked up a pothos before so I know it's a plant.

[''Sonichu starts wandering into some acres filled with trees'']

I don't really use plants in my house you n-n-noticed, except for that Christmas Tree but that's for, you know, the holidays. Anyway she's around here, I want to show you my favorite character that I kind of got to know from the start.

[''Sonichu finds his way into an acre with a house on it'']

Oop, she just went in. So let's go say hello.

[''Sonichu follows some green squirrel into a house and rams into it'']

Yeah uhm, uhm, would you come out here please?

[''Sonichu walks back into the center of the room and back into the green squirrel, he pushes it into a corner'']

Mmm... Darnit, I can't see her but anyway uh, I think you recognize her. Oh here we go a little bit. Yeah Mint, she's a sweety.

[''Sonichu talks to Mint about some random crap'']

She gave me a birthday present on my 21st birthday when I time-traveled back. Talk to me!

[''Mint rambles on about how it's cold out and how winter's coming'']

Well, what did ya expect? It's November.

[''Mint asks Sonichu if he has a heater'']

Yeah I got a heater in the basement.

[''Mint jokingly mocks him about turning on heaters during November'']

[Chris chuckles] Yea.

[''Mint says something about how it's going to get colder'']

That's right. Well, I'll see you later Minty, you're a sweety.

[''Sonichu leaves Mint's house'']

Anyway that's uhh all so on the trip. We'll take a look at all the other colorful characters we have around here.

[''The town map comes up, different acres are examined'']

Also uh every time I keep track of the-uh map so that I can see if anyone new came in. Oh, we got a new neighbor, Bertha. I haven't noticed her before. So she's obviously new. So anyway uh, let's move on.

[''Sonichu starts running through the woods and comes across some kangaroo'']

Here's another character I grew up with. Actually she moved in, and lived here most of the time. Marcy. And now she's wearing a Sonichu shirt. Sonichu is very popular in CWCville.

[''Sonichu heads south to an acre with some green mouse's house in it'']

There's Anicotti, she just went in.

[''Sonichu heads west and finds some giraffe's house'']

And there's Elmer. He just went in, he's one of the senior citizens around here too. I say that because he's lived here- by the way our ne- our city pe- fruit is a peach. But I've grown a lot of orange, pears n such.

[14:15]

[''Sonichu heads west and finds a white cat, she says something about how CWCville is amazing'']

Oh whaddya' know, it's that girl from the train.

[''He talks to Blanca'']

I draw her face every time, but when I'm in a hurry I just color it, the whole thing, and she just looks like a... ''Blank face''. But I gave her a face last time.

[''Sonichu starts to head out of the acre but turns around and runs back in, [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]] begins to play in the background. Chris's "singing" is clearly audible'']

Oh, there was another character up here on the hill.

[''Sonichu heads to a goat's house by a river'']

And she just came out, Chevre. What do you know, she's wearing Elmer's clothes.

[''Sonichu runs out of that acre back into the woods'']

Anyway, moving on with the tour.

[''Sonichu comes to some giant tree with a fountain thing in front of it, Chris mistakes it for a well. Some billboards are to the right of it'']

Well, [Chris chortles] good joke. Anyway I also, you know I like to use the billboards, put my signs up. There's my Sonichu site logo, there's Sonichu's mug. I got two here side by side represent the holidy and such. Yea here we got your corn that you got from the previous issue and I drew this leaf.

[''It doesn't look like a leaf'']

Obviously for Thanksgiving and the harvest festival.

[''A blue bear walks into the video'']

Oh, look there's Groucho. He's wearin' a Sonichu site shirt. Let's say hello.

[''Sonichu starts speaking with Groucho'']

Entertain me.

[''Groucho bitches about his mom and fruit'']

A fruit huh?

[''Groucho offers Sonichu an apple, Sonichu accepts'']

I-I'll take one. Yeah, it makes a nice little profit when you talk to them and most of the time it happens from the jobs.

[''Sonichu walks east and comes across a green lion's house'']

So anyway. Yeah, here's Leopold, he moved in a long time-

[''Sonichu makes his way to a green rooster's abode'']

Here's Hank, he's one of the senior citizens around here also. [unintelligible]

[''Sonichu runs to a teal hippo's house'']

Let's go see our new neighbor. Oh, here she is. She must be Bertha. Hello Bertha.

[''Sonichu talks to Bertha, Bertha talks about how nice the town is, etc.'']

It is a nice place. Heh you're scatterbrained. Yeah, okay, well see you around!

[''Sonichu heads south towards a museum'']

[Chris Grunts] Here's the Museum.

[''Sonichu heads inside'']

Let's go look at the exhibits.

[''We see the inside of the museum as Sonichu heads toward the insect section'']

First, we'll look at the bug exhibit.

[''Sonichu is now inside the insect section'']

I caught most of the bugs.

I'll show 'ya. This is my bug collection, I caught them all one-by-one and donated them one-by-one.

[[I Got A Fish|Wanna' see my number of fish?]] Not as much. Not as much. Anyway, uh, all the bugs are just runnin' around here. Hey, whaddya' know, we got a couple- few bugs on the trees here. Two of them are fighting. Well, that's funny, like [[cats|Lucy and Desi]]. [[I Love Lucy|I love Lucy]].

Anyway, uh, nebit, cebit, zibit, the fish exhibit. Yeah, you can see here I caught those fish and I donated them. Hmm, this one is empty. I guess it's waiting for a kind donation. Yeah, here's a bunch of fish; here's some more fish. One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

Alright, anyway, moving on with the tour the museum, take a look at the paintings. I haven't gotten them all yet, but, uh, I got a few. Here's a nice one, it's strange though. sw- why- I gu- why I'd call it a strange painting. Yeah, some of them are- most of them are just waiting for a kind donation, but I got this one from a swipe. Your uh, Common Painting, from Ol' Boots. Well, my favorite painting around here is, uh, right here. Washington crossing the Delaware, but you guys call it the Classic Paining.

Anyway, moving on. We're gonna' check out what I worked hard for and actually got done, the fossil section. All the fossils, right here; all of them! Dug them all up! Though the last one I completed and the last one I picked up was the pterodactyl. All I needed was the right wing and that completed the pterodactyl. As well as the fossil exhibit; and who's my favorite? It's obvious.

Anyway- oh, you can actually see a bug in that amber, y'know? That right there, I wonder what kind of bug that is. I think it was in the, uh, insect thing. Oh well, forget it. Anyway, moving on with the tour, leaving the museum. See you later, sleeping Blathers.

Well, here's another neighbor, Cookie; She just went in. Alright. Well, anyway, uh, since we're, uh, down here, I'm gonna' tell you a couple of things. This is a- here's a- here's the dock, right here, and there's the sea turtle. Of course I usually would check around the, uh, beach lines for old Gulliver, that sailor bird. You should have called him Pelliper like the Pokémon. You notice these two signs here? You need a Game Boy Advance to get started, but when you come back, welcome to the Gamecube.

Anyway, let's go visit the island real quick, 'cuz I'll show you something fun you could do on the island. I use my Game Boy Advance SP but I do have a GBA as well. Well, I use the, uh, SP for, uh, y'know the e-Reader because y'know my Digimon players. It's, uh, easier to hold as swiping as, as compared to the, uh, GBA, the original. Yeah- this sweet young lass, so full of spunk an' sass, over tea, she tells me I gots no class.I ain't no crummy creep who lives in [[Barbara|trash heaps]]! I'm just one old sea-hun who needs some sleep. *unintelligible noises* No, I do not. *rhythmic unintelligible noises* Woooh! I know, the singing annoys me too. I just mock it, and that's- that's why I kinda' have this thing on mute anyway. I listen to my music... every time I play. I actually turn it off right after we- just after we- just as we leave the, uh, bridge there.

So, anyway, this is my island, Cwcville island. Looket all these coconuts here, "In the tropical seas with the coconut trees, we will look and see, coconut." Fine little way to make a profit. Here's Flash. "Troz." I gave him that expression, like [[Wikipedia:Pinky and the Brain|''Pinky and the Brain'']]. So, let's say hello.

''[Flash asks for Sonichu's [[Fashion|rugby shirt]]]

I'll let you have it, 'cause [[Muscle bra|I don't need it]]. It doesn't look too bad on you.

Anyway, here's a fun way to make a profit, a'course, you need the Gameboy Advance for this. You shake the trees, you grab the coconuts. I put them all over her- I gathered them all over here, in this area, and then I just drag them over to the bird. And after the first three coconuts, he gives me money. And I just all put 'em back in the proper place around here. And when I come back to the island, Gamecube version, instead of the uh, on the Gamecube instead of in the Gameboy Advance, after uploading I collect the money, go as high as 30,000 bells, which is very nice.

Anyway, I'll show you what you can do on the house in the island.

[''Goes inside the house'']

I use mine as storage for the, uh, extras items I, uh, don't have room for, at home. Yeah, I got a bunch. 'Course, I got mostly wallpaper and shirts, that's why I got all these dressers.

[''Looks inside a dresser'']

But I've gotten all the uh, carpets from, uh, Sahara. She was here yesterday. Wel- How do I know? I usually keep track, I made a special sticker with my Gameboy camera and I just uh, whenever there's a holiday or ah, when there's a special event as noted by the Copper, I note it on the calendar with one of those special stickers, or write it down whether it's for Cwcville or Cwc City.

[''Exits the house'']

Anyway, we're going to leave the island. See you later Flash! Troz! Or Zort!

[''Goes to Kapp'n so he can leave'']

Hey Kapp'n. Yeah I'm leavin'. No thank you.

[''Gets on the boat'']

Oh, by the way Sonichu's mug is the flag of the island. Obviously. Don't worry, this time I'm not going to imitate his singin'.

Instead I'll talk about something random. [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

Oh, by the way, those two characters at the tailor shop, Mabel and Sabel, are they hedgehogs or porcupines, cuz I dunno. They look like hedgehogs, and or porcupines, but ah, I'm not sure which are they. But either way, if they're hedgehogs, you got my vote on Sonic. Speaking of which, you should have make- ''Sonic Heroes'' should be Nintendo Gamecube exclusive, because [[Xbox]] and [[Sony|PlayStation 2]], my opinion is the same as yours, they both stink. Yeah, I do not even own them, I do not even want them, and that goes double for the PS One as well.

But if you want to know my game systems, I've had my Gamecube for about almost a year and a half now, got it on May thirty-first, twenty o'two. I got your SNES, Nintendo 64, NES, I got the Genesis 301, with the uh, original Genesis, 32X and Sega CD, as well as Sega Dreamcast, and a Sega Saturn. So I've got mostly all of them, I've been a Sonic fan forever, and that's why I'm glad that Sonic came to Nintendo.

[''Arrives back at Cwcville'']

By the way, you all may remember, that I sent you guys a letter, talking about my dream of Sonic on Game Boy, well you go on my website, check the uh, about the author section, you'll see the ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine cover I made up just for the occasion.

Anyway, welcome back to the Gamecube, let's move on with the tour, shall we? Anyway, we're gonna check the island. Oh, Lighthouse, oh will look at this, there's a weed, I pick weeds, keeps my town clean, as well as uh, Cwc City.

Oh, here's the other billboard I don't kn-know if I've shown you, [[Pokémon|Magikarp]]. that's for the fishing tourney, I drew a Magikarp just for it. Yeah, that's a Magikarp, I didn't have room for a Gyarados.

So, way, ah, here's the Tailor Shop. I got a Game Boy Advance right here as well because, you know, I can use my Gameboy Advance here. So let's go in and see what I got on display.

[''Enters Able Sisters shop'']

Yeah I mean what are they, hedgehogs or porcupines, cuz I can't tell. Anyway, I got Sonichu an Ro-, I got Sonichu right here. Oh, and by the way, this is his girlfriend, you want to know what her name is? [[Rosechu]]. See how that's spelled? Yeah, but you'll see- you'll probably see her and her body on the uh, letter that's included with the VHS here. So anyway, that's her favorite flower, called the Zapbud. Oh, and there's my Sonichu site logo, there's you acc- that you featured in ''Nintendo Power''. And a nice (swipe?) for the Poké Ball, as well as Star Fox emblem.

[''Opens up his saved patterns'']

Here, let me show you the uh, rest of my uh, patterns. Most of them I put together. There's Sonic, right there. And this is Sonichu's evil twin, [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]. I made the Mario as uh, kinda like, you know, the ''Nintendo Power''. Duh. If you guys had a shirt already, and the uh, game, that's from me and then you'll find out later. Oh, because [[It will never end|Spider-Man]] was in town recently, I was inspired. An here's Old Glory. Let's see. Yeah, these are the uh, older patterns I uh, kinda picked up from the shirts as much. And these are patterns I put together myself, there's the Magikarp, and there are others, like you got from ''Nintendo Power'', like the corn, [[the Moon]], groovy. Groovy! I call it groovy. There's the mushroom and the mug. Oh, I got something ready for Christmas, you know, you may notice the wreath back there. Let's see, yeah, here the uh, swiped images. Ah, by the way, you remember Tim Timetrail, that's his logo right there, I call it Time Travel, it's got his name written on there, Time- Tim Timetrail.

Could you excuse me for a minute, I've got an itch in my eye. [''A few seconds pause''] Alright. Anyway, that's taken care of. Let's see, I guess.

[''Selects Time Travel shirt and moves it around'']

What'd I do that for? I'm putting it back. Anyways that's-a, images I got so far.

[''Talks to Mabel'']

No, no thank you, we got nothing. So I'll see you all later. Or ah, another day, somewhat. Hey, I think that looks uh-familiar, what Mabel's sewing up, or's that Sabel? I think that's the noodle design.

[''Exits Able Sisters shop'']

Anyway, moving on. Another weed, well what do you know about that. I usually like to run, it ke-keeps me going faster. Oh, by the way, Puck lives here.

Oh, what do you know, a hole in the ground. I usuall- also usually uh, during my rounds, ["Digs up fossil"] I check for these holes. ["Raises pitch of voice"] And it's an antique! And of course, if I dig up a fossil I just quickly write a letter to the Museum. And I don't have to write anything, so I just get that out of the way real quick. I only keep my shovel in hand cuz there may be a few more holes around here somewhere. Well look at this, another weed.

Anyway, no bird today. So le- let's go see Copper, see if there's anything new at the police station.

[''Talks to Copper'']

Any goings-on? Nothing of import, huh.

It's hard to catch that b- bird you know, the uh, postal character Pete. One time I tried, but then he just flew away. Anyway, you got anything in the police station today Copper? That is uh, anything lost? Oh, we got something? Oh good, I'll go take it, I just usually pick it up and sell it later.

[''Enters police station'']

By the way, as fer the Gulliver, if he has something I have not collected yet, I'll usually keep it. Seeds? Oh well, I'll take it. I could always plant those. Cuz they won't make much of a profit. Anyway, if uh, Gulliver has a gave me something that I already have, I usually just sell it.

[''Exits Police Station'']

Makes a nice profit. Uh anyway, let's plant these flowers. Uh, here's a good place.

[''Plants flowers'']

Alright, what do you know, red tulips.

Anyway uh, there's ah, what's her name. Oh yeah, Portia. Anyway, uh, let's see. Oh yeah, there's Leigh right there.

Oh by the way, you know for Mint? I got her card as well, her ''Animal Crossing'' card. Oh yeah, Chuckles! He likes to wear belt buckles! [[Random Access Humor|Rhyme joke]]. So anyway, uh, moving a little north. Here's the uh, Nook Shop. I got it the best, obviously. But if it gets any better, I'll be surprised. So anyway, uh, let's go inside.

[''Enters Nook's Shop'']

See what see what look lik- See what old Nook has today. [''Sighs'']. Oh, I got to sell these items, I usually do that, I sell him the items.

[''Starts selling things to Nook'']

Items I don't need. Those fossils make a nice little profit, espeg- especially the uh, one that's not within the top five. Whoops. I pressed the B button by mistake.

[''Continues to sell, and starts to hum'']

Doops, I goofed. Yeah, foreign fruits, 500. Although the peaches only get you 100 here. By the way, same fruit in Cwc City, it's a pear. Oh, and I need a sign anyway, so I'll just go ahead and get one of those.

[''Buys sign, clicks through Nook's dialogue about using the sign, and starts humming'']

Anyway, we're going upstairs.

[''Goes upstairs'']

What do ya know, we got the gruesome twosome. They're a comical pair. Ugn, let's see, a blue dresser. Uhh, iris table, refrigerator. Yes, I got this refrigerator already, so I don't need it. I already got the water bird. I've seen those shirts before. Ugn, look at all of these two, they chase me around wherever I go, like I'm some sort kind of [[Autism|nut]] or something. Watch this.

[''Chris makes odd noises that might be mistaken for humming, as he runs around the store and watches the salesman chase him. Sometimes art does imitate real life'']

Almost caught me there. Okay, I'm leaving.

[''Goes downstairs'']

Let's see, was there any other business I need? Oh, I guess I need more paper. So I'll get a sheet, get a pack.

[''Buys paper'']

That's quick, I just pick a random style and just go with that. By the way, in case you're wondering about those button noises, I got the microphone taped to the uh, Gamecube Wavebird here.

Anyway, I'll show you something you can do with the raffle tickets you pick up from here.

[''Exits Nook's Store'']

Instead of making a [[Tour of Chris's House|mess in my house]], I bury them right here, next to the Nook Shop. It's a good place to locate them. So when I'm ready at the end of the month, I just pick up as many as I can hold.

[''Digs up raffle ticket, then buries it again'']

I'm just going to put it back, because it ain't November 30th yet. Oh I guess I don't need this shovel anymore.

[''Puts away shovel'']

Now I'm going to make use of this uh, sign here, the way I should have long time ago, because I didn't think about it. It's already been done in Cwc City, but... Right here by the Post Office, you can use your GBA, oh, well that's a bad place for it. I'm picking it back up. Oh what do you know, another weed.

[''Pulls weed'']

Must of missed that earlier. Anyway, you may post a design, Gameboy Advance, whoops.

[''Picks up sign accidentally'']

What'd I do that for, I'm puttin' it back.

[''Puts it back and adds Gameboy design again'']

There we go. [''Burps''] Excuse me. Hm, I've got well over fifty thousand, so I'm going to make a deposit.

[''Enters Post Office'']

It's ny- It's a good idea to- that you guys did have when you made this thing not only a post office. Oh, I got to mail off that fossil anyway. And I don nee- And it's a good idea to not only you make this into a post office but a bank, saves ya a building. So anyway, see, let's make a deposit. One, two, three, four, five.

[''Deposits 50,000 bells'']

Seven hundred and fifty thousand. It's good saved. I made most of my money from the e-Reader swipes, which I'll tell you about that in Cwc City.

[''Exits Post Office'']

Anyway, uh, lets see. I guess that's it for Cwcville. You guys will be back later. And that- And when you come back, I'll tell you about this sign here. [''Sign saying "H.F.A"'']

Anyway, I'm going home, and I'm gonna save. You may save, Mister Gyroid.

[''Goes inside the house to save, hums a bit'']

You may save and quit.

[''Noise in the background, possibly the radio'']

[''Chris begins to sing''] Do-do-do-do-do-do-do, hey mellow color! Yellow is a mellow color, yes it is. [''Chris stops singing'']

Okay. see you in Cwcville- I mean Cwc City.

[''Title screen'']

At this time, I switched the memory cards. Cuz, ah, I got Cwcvville currently in Slot A, and Cwc City in Slot B. I'm switching the two, putting City in Slot A and Ville in Slot B. So now I'm pressin' the start button.

And here's a resident, Iggy. Here you got- get that down. Cwc City, that's the name of the city right there.

[''Yellow Is A Mellow Color playing faintly in the background'']

And that's her name, Crystal, make sure you get that down. Alright, getting things ready. Have a blast, huh, well that's a fun thing to say.

[''Cwc City is loaded, and starts'']

Anyway ah, this is Crystal. She's wearing the uh, Rosechu look. There's a Zapbud on the door, I got Sonichu- Rosechu's mug right here. [''A sign with Rosechu's face on it''] Yeah, an her ensemble, but let's take a tour of her house first.

[''Goes inside the house'']

It ain't much since, uh, she basically got started, but she's almost done paying off her debt to old Nook. There's your website again. [''A Nintendo bench with their website on it''] Oh look, there's the R-Wing, launching into the uh, Super Mario Brother's World. [''The wallpaper is from Mario'']

Which reminds me, I got to get those two boxes to those two passwords later. Anyway, here's her diary. She got started only on November twelfth. Sonichu got started on October twenty-fourth. Anyway let's see, what else have we got here. Yeah, I got the two logos. Well would you look at that, I got them in the wrong place.

[''Starts moving around the logos'']

Oh well, I'll just move 'em. I didn't notice that before, I got 'em in the wrong place. Well that's no problem. I'll just quickly move them around. Hm, they make it loo- You guys make it look tough to move things around, but actually it's not. Let's see what time it is. Oh, it's one forty-five, huh? Well, it's getting close to being later in the afternoon.

There's her tree, she's getting ready for Christmas too. Let's take a quick trip upstairs.

[''Goes upstairs'']

She got her NES games she got collected up here. A plain old falsehood right there, Super Tortimer. Why'd you guys make that game up anyway? It's so- It's stupid. Cuz it's fake. Anyway, here's a thing. I got lucky and found this. I think I dug it up. Oh-no, wait a minute, I got it from Redd, long time ago. Oh, here's her harvest bed. I got a couple empty tables for- getting ready for a couple more NES games. [''Sighs'']

[''Goes downstairs'']

Anyway uh,

[''Continues down to the basement'']

Her basement isn't sa- as busy as uh, Cwcville, but she's got a few models down here. A couple of tracks models. Oh, there's the Moon. You guys made that thing really big you know, it's too big for me, if you ask my opinion.

Huh, Katrina's a little off, I'm just gonna move her real quick, there we go. Alright, you know there's the glow clock, you notice I had glow [[pickles|cock]]- glow clock in the basement in Cwcville as well.

Oh, you know what, ah, ruh- Crystal's worn her Rosechu outfit long enough.

[''Tries to change her outfit'']

Oops. I guess I can't do that yet. Well, never mind.

[''Goes upstairs'']

Anyway, moving on.

[''Leaves house'']

Before we take a tour of the city, I'mma tell you how to make a f- how you make a fun profit with the e-Reader. I'll check the bulletin board.

[''Checks the bulletin board'']

Ah, that's an oldie.

[''Walks to the Train Station'']

Anyway, 'course, there's the Train Station, I told you earlier about that in Cwcville. There's Rosey's mug. You see no statue cuz, she hasn't paid her debt off. That's why we're going to do this with Crystal. Oh, give me a second would ja, I got to do something real quick.

[''A few seconds pass'']

I'm having my Game Boy and my Wavebird at the same time. That's why I put it over there too.

I use my uh, SP as well here. You know, ah, my funds uh, right here, right? Help my funds. I'm gonna- show you guys something real quick- I use my Game Boy Advance SP to help me out here, since you know, the Digimon deal. Not only that, but, the noise it makes, helps me, uh, clarify, whether I uh, got the card read right. I usually do it ten at a time, I'll tell- elaborate about that more later. But I'm gonna do this on purpose, uh, swipe it awkwardly.

Oops, I musta goofed up. Anyway, gonna try that again, see and ah uh, hear the noise that makes.

Oh, that's right, cuz, ya see, I uh, prepared in advance by, uh, [''Clears throat''] you know, showing you showing my profit.

By goin' on ahead and takin' care of the first set of thirty cards out of 63 that I own so far. Cuz like I said, do it ten at a time. By anyway, ah,

[''Exits Post Office'']

[''Sighs'']

Let me just go ahead an uh, show you how you make a nice little profit. Okay, first step you uh, swipe the first ten cards, right? Cuz that's the maximum you can hold in your mailbox. Open your mailbox, get your ten letters into your hold there. And then you just, ah, grab and drop it to the first ten slots. By the way, rule of thumb, elaborate earlier with the five down here. Cuz you know, when you ah, sell your items to Tom, it usually ends up on the first item, and you- that, that way you have these guys on the bottom, they will not get in the way, you won't have to move the uh, hand.

So anyway, uh, we're gonna go to the Nook Shop. There's Iggy again, gonna play with his ball. Like I said, I haven't gotten that far here yet, in Cwc City.

[''Enters Nook Shop'']

There's old Tom. I've taken care of all my uh, errands, like ah, Chris and the little Sonichu I showed you back there. Anyway, we're going to do some selling.

[''Starts selling things to Nook, some other song from Christian and the Hedgehog Boys in the background'']

Obviously, I don't have sa- much to say at this point. So I'm just going to let you guys listen to the music while I sell.

[About 30 seconds later, he finishes selling, and leaves the store]

Okay, I got more to say. After I uh, sell the uh, first set ten, I get that out of the way. Like I said before, of course I do this with the R button.

[''Starts removing gifts from letters, then deleting the letters'']

I just pick up, and put 'em over there. 'Course, I have precise order, I do it from the first letters- first card swiped to the last card swiped. I usually swipe them in the uh, in order of their card numbers. Cuz ah, that's just the way I do it. Also, I use the uh, ''Animal Crossing'' card that came with the e-Reader,you notice the musical note in the first set. I just count that as card triple zero. Makes a good idea, by the way, according to- by the way, speaking of the e-Reader cards, you guys should really uh, print out some more uh, of series- more of the early series. like series one. Cuz, you know, since I just just started you sh- I really want to collect those. And uh, I really would like if you uh, publish some more of those uh, series ones. I don't care if do like you know, second edition or whatever. But print out more of those cards, please. Anyway, uh, I just click- just [[Mailbag|read the letters real quick and then throw them away]] like junk mail. After I get rid of the presents.

[''Finishes throwing letters away'']

By the way, I hope you guys took note of the uh, amount in the previous deal in the Post Office. Anyway, after I delete the last letters, I open them up.

[''Opening up all his gifts'']

One by one, in an orderly flash- orderly fashion. A'most said orderly flashin'! Anyway...

[''Finishes opening his gifts'']

Let's see, with that done, I head back home.

[''Runs to his mailbox'']

And get the next set of ten I have ready. And then I head back to the Post Office.

[''Runs to Post Office'']

And swipe the next set of ten.

[''Enters Post Office'']

And uh, just to let you know, every fifty- every point over fifty thousand, you should make a deposit. But since I'm a good number at start, I'm not gonna do that. So, uh, after all the uh, e-Reader swipes, you should come up to a very nic-

[''Video cuts out for a second, possibly the result of Chris editing the video so we wouldn't have to wait for him to swipe the e-Reader cards'']

an profable- profitable proposition there. And after ah, swiping all those cards, then a nice grand total there. We can make a very generous donation. Or should I say deposit? The usual fifty-thou.

[''Deposits 50,000 bells'']

Here ya go. No thank you. Well, anyway ah, besides ah, selling those things, those uh, profitable items from the e-Reader cards, if there are any I haven't collected yet, I usually just keep 'em.

[''Exits Post Office'']

(Cuz I like the sound of them?) Like for example, the uh, Pansy models downstairs. And well, since that's over with.

[''Changes shirt'']

She just changed into her regular- her uh, nice warm clothing for the winter. Her ski sweater. So anyway, uh, let's see uh. Oh yes, I guess I should- she shoul- we should give you a tour of Cwc City.

Well, you have seen the uh, Post Office, and the Nu- Nook Shop. But I'll tell you the dump is in the opposite location compared to CWCville. And there it is, the dump. And uh, let's see. There's Money. She used to live in CWCville but she moved here. And there's Sally. She moved here.

[''Checks map'']

I have to check the map every now and then because the different location. Let's see, there's Carmen. [''Sing-song''] Carmen San Diego! Carmen San Diego!... Causing mischief around the world!

Let's see now. Oh yeah, that's Pinky. That's Pinky. There's the Museum. Oh, would you look at this, a hole in the ground. Let's see what's in it.

[''Digs up fossil'']

And it's [[Bob|an antique]]!

Must have missed that one previously. Oh well, I'll just simply write the old Museum a letter. Or not write a letter. Like I sent it to them anyway. [Goes to put away shovel, then changes his mind]

Ah, I best to hold on to that just in case. Let's see. Oh, Katrina's tent, she's here today. And there's Rollo. I think a friend sen- I think of Sanford and Son everytime I see Rollo. [''Scatman Chris''] Doo-doo-doo-doo-a-rawdl-et-do-do-do-do-alot-dude-alot-do-do-dolot-a-dood-alot-dooo. Do-do.

Speakin' of fr- speakin' of Sanford and Sons, my father an I, we have a relationship like Stanford and Son. He starts more arguments than there are flies in a garbage dump. Anyway, let's see, I took every care of business, and I do not need to talk to Copper, but there's the Police Station.

And what's at the shoreline for that stupid bird, and possibly anymore uh, holes in the ground.

[''Singing'']

There's nothing quite like a hole in the ground, hole in the ground, hole in the ground. There's nothing like a hole in the ground, here is, the lighthouse!

[''Stops singing'']

We got a stone bridge here in the city.

[''Sings again'']

There's nothing like a hole in the ground, a hole in the ground

[''Stops singing'']

Oh, we got two neighbors up here. Let's see. Yeah. There's a, Jeremiah. we got a new neighbor. Yeah, that was Pinky. She moved in today. Anyway, there;s the Tailor Shop. Right here. Already took you there over in Cwc Ci- Cwcville. And well, here's the dock. The island is, uh, we kept it for the ah, kre- for a memorial, we used Tim Timetale's island. As uh, we uh, trans- we exchanges between us- we exchanged it with the original island of Cwc City. Anyway, it's got the Tim Timetale flag on it. So we're not going to bother going there. Anyway, you know the two signs.

[''Goes to Wishing Well'']

Well. That joke never gets old. Anyway, there are two holiday signs, got 'em down here, here in the city. There's Rosey, and we got the Sonichu site logo here as well. There's a uh, shovel tree. That's Buzz. Buzz Lightyear. To infinity, and on your head! Oh, and there's uh, Cashmire. I got a card for Baah-bra. Huh, too bad she ain't here. And uh, I'm not sure, oh wait, yes I'm sure. Yeah, you have seen him, uh, Iggy. He's around here somewhere. I'm not gonna bother. Anyway, here's the Nook Shop, once again. And well, uh, I guess that's it for uh, Cwc City. oh, I got the fishing tourney sign around here somewhere. You've already seen that, so I'm not gonna bother finding it.

Anyway uh, let's see. Oh, I got to mail this uh, fossil off. After I do that, we're going to go back over to Cwcville for uh, closing ceremonies of this great documentary I've put together. you'll find out what that "H.F.A" stands for.

[''Goes inside post office'']

So, stay tuned! And relax.

[''Starts mailing letter'']

In the meantime, here's some music.

[''Plays Yellow is a Mellow Color'']

[''Exits Post office'']

[''Goes and saves his game'']

[''Start screen'']

[''Loads Cwcville'']

[''Finally turns off Yellow is a Mellow Color'']

Welcome back to Cwcville! And we're here for the closing ceremonies, so the uh, documentary of the city of Cwcville and Cwc City in Animal Crossing, [''Raises pitch of voice''] for Nintendo Gamecube! But first, I'm gonna tell you a couple of things. Sonichu and Rosechu. [''Burps''] [''Faintly''] Excuse me.
I'm just going to let you know who they are, they're Pokémon. I made them up. They're both Electric-types, alright. Obviously. Sonichu and Rosechu are Pokémon I made up. They're Electric-types. They've got evolution, [[Metonic]] and [[Vamprosa]]. You want pictures, you gotta ask me for them. Also they got baby forms, [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and Rosey]], they're cuties. So anyway, if you've missed it the first couple of times.

[''Shows bulletin saying "CWC's Sonichu Site!
http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm"'']

Here is one last time. Okay, and uh, to answer the all important question; What is the meaning of "H.F.A"? With the two red eyes. I will tell you. Got that? it means "High Functionally [[Autism|Autism]]" because that's what I am, I'm High Functionally Autistic. I may have autism, but since I'm [[honor roll|high functional]], I do all- I can do alot of things. I mean otherwise I wouldn't even do this documentary I'm doing right now.

So let's see, is there anything else I need to cover? Well, I guess not. But anyway, uh, this is the city of Cwcville and there's a- don't forget Sonichu website if you want to go see it. I've been playing video games for as long as I can remember. And listening to music as long as I can remember. So, we're going to end this documentary by obviously leaving. If you want credits, ya have to look at the uh, enclosed letter.

[''Starts saving game'']

But anyway, uh, pu- for in the submission of Nintendo Power. This has been a, [[Chris and Ego|documentary narrated by Christian Weston Chandler]]. Thank you very much, and I hope that you will [[Chris and Reality|consider this for publication]]. Bye now.

[''Nintendo logo and title screen. There is a voice in the background, possibly [[Snorlax]], saying "Stop!"'']

[''The video normally ends here, but on other versions of it, this is followed by 5 commercials for the game, and then...'']

[''Shows bulletin reading "For Nintendo Power...A Bonus Feature! Later on...". The character moves towards a golden statue reading "This statue was erected in honor of Crystal's loan repayment!". The character moves around some trees, bushes and the sign board, before moving to the bulletin board, flipping to a new page. Chris types in "Bye-Bye!" and then a happy face. He then throws out the letter, and then moves back to the bonus feature one for a few seconds before the video finally ends.'']

==''Nintendo Power'' article==

''[[Nintendo Power]]''’s May 2004 article on Chris’s documentary covers only Sonichu’s life in Cwcville. The way that the article speaks of Sonichu’s actions, most casual readers would be led to believe that “Sonichu” is the real name of the person who submitted the documentary.

[[Image:CWCSchuCross.jpg|thumb|center]]

===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary'''

Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!

''(Image captions)''

*Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.
*He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.
*And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.
*Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular Poké Ball.}}

==PVCC's news report==

The 26 April 2004 issue of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC's]] school newspaper, ''The Forum'', included a news report on the "accomplishments" of then-student Christian Chandler. The first half of the article discusses Chris's OFFICIAL and ORIGINIAL creation, Sonichu, while the second half covers Chris's Animal Crossing Documentary, going so far as to quote ''[[Nintendo Power]]'''s own coverage. Everyone can draw their conclusions of how slow news day it was at the PVCC by comparing how big the ''Nintendo Power'' article was, and how big this article was.

===Transcript===

[[File:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|center|Meet Sonichu]]

{{quotenews|'''Meet Sonichu''' ''Student featured in "Nintendo Power"''

By Kari Mitchell ''The Forum assistant editor''

Most everyone has a hobby. It may be hard to find free time in between classes, especially with exam week quickly approaching, but PVCC student Christian Chandler, has dedicated many hours to his past time. He is the creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

Like Sonic, Sonichu can run at high speeds. "During Super Sonic's battle against the [[Perfect Chaos Monster|Perfect Chaos monster]] (''Sonic Adventure DX'' for Gamecube), Super Sonic was spat out by the monster, and colldied with a by-standing Pikachu," Chandler explained. According to his story, the power from the Chaos Emeralds transformed Pikachu into Sonichu.

The idea for the character came from a project Chandler was assigned his senior year of high school. He was enrolled in a computer graphics class that required him to design a CD cover. His original idea was to put Sonic and Pikachu on the cover, however, both characters are copyrighted. Instead he decided to combine the characters into something all his own. Thus, on March 17, 2000, Sonichu was born.

Over time, Chandler began to mold and expand the life of Sonichu, giving him stories, homemade trading cards, clay figures, a board game, and a [[Sonichu medallion]] with charms, among other things.

Chandler and the world he created for Sonichu were featured in the May 2004 issue of ''Nintendo Power.'' The place was called Cwcville (The "Cwc" prefix are his initials, Christian Weston Chandler). Nintendo Power was apparently impressed with Chandler's work. "Simply amazing. There's no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville - a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life." The documentary, running about an hour, was taped from the Nintendo Gamecube title, ''Animal Crossing''. He dubbed his voice over the sound through a microphone and audio input in his VCR. In the documentary, Chandler covers "basically how I do things in ''Animal Crossing'' as the boy character, Sonichu, in the city of Cwcville." Some of the tasks include using the journal as a monthly diary, making money, customizing the city, and conversing with another ''Animal Crossing'' city. For now, Sonichu remains a hobby in the future, Chandler would like to see Sonichu and his friends as real Pokémon, even having their own Nintendo Gamecube video game title. "I am not really sure what to do in order to do all that," Chandler said, "but for now, Sonichu and I, Christian C., are in Nintendo Power Magazine!"}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]|nextlink=[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]|}}

{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2003-11-22]]
[[Category:Videos About or Featuring Farts]]

Animal Crossing

2017-08-25T10:13:50Z

Acrylicpaint:

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:CWCAnimalCrossing.jpg|thumb|''Animal Crossing'' for the Wii.]]
[[Image:Accityfolkschurchuad.jpg|thumb|Despite being only minor characters who (supposedly) would make a cameo in the game, [[Chris and his Ego|Chris felt he should make a box art focusing on Sonichu and Rosechu]].]]

'''''Animal Crossing''''' is a life simulation [[video game]] developed and published by [[Nintendo]]. Originally released for the Nintendo 64 console in Japan in [[2001]] and the GameCube in [[America]] in [[2003]], it spawned 3 more installments--''[[Wikipedia:Animal Crossing: Wild World|Wild World]]'' (for the Nintendo DS), ''[[Wikipedia:Animal Crossing: City Folk|City Folk]]'' (''Let's Go to the City'' for Europeans) [for the Wii], and ''[[Wikipedia:Animal Crossing: New Leaf|New Leaf]]'' (for the Nintendo 3DS). It is one of [[Chris]]'s favorite games, at least before ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' came out.

==About ''Animal Crossing''==
All of the games in the series involve the player character moving in a town populated by animals, doing random jobs for them to earn rent money, pulling weeds, planting trees, helping visitors, going fishing, catching bugs, filling up the art/fossil/bug/fish collections at the local museum and, in general, trying to make the town a happy place to live.

In other words, it's [[Chris and hypocrisy|everything Chris avoids doing in real life]].

==Chris and ''Animal Crossing''==
The series obviously appeals to Chris: the milieu is a cartoony small rural town of bright happy colors, everyone there is nice to you, there's no violence at all, and most importantly, you're never in any hurry to do anything. It's perfect for people who [[autism|avoid prickly-wicklies because they cause distress]] and [[stress|crash into slumber if they have to do anything particularly demanding]].

Aside of making the following weird and puzzling video productions, he has also picked up a few nuggets of wisdom from the games. Blathers, the owl who runs the museum in the games, has the habit of rambling about things you donate to the museum, until he realizes he's boring you, at which point he usually ends the infodump with "but I digress...". In the 15th slide of [[The Sonichu Chronicles]] Chris said that he picked up this phrase from the game, yet he tends to use it only in writing and not when he's actually boring people to tears in other forms of communication.

===The 24th [[Wedding Comic|Wedding]] Anniversary Special===
{{main|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special}}

Chris made this video in honor of his parents' anniversary. It would have been kind of cute if Chris was six at the time, but it's just sad because he was actually 22.

This video is notable for introducing the ''Animal Crossing'' versions of both Bob and Barbara. This wouldn't be exactly damning if they had been created ''just'' for this video special, but it appears that the characters have fully decorated houses of their own...''and'' the house loans have been fully paid up (signified by the statues in front of the train station). Fully paying up the house loan takes an incredibly long time in game - and this video shows that he's done it ''at least'' four times.

===''Animal Crossing'' Documentary===
{{main|Animal Crossing Documentary}}

The ''Animal Crossing'' Documentary, featuring Chris's incarnation of [[CWCville]] and CWCcity in the GC ''Animal Crossing'', is one of the greatest cinematic achievements Chris has made. Regular players of the game may notice a few things, such as the fact that while wasting time is unavoidable while playing this game, Chris is clearly wasting way too much time on this game. And that even when he fully paid his mortgage, he still had no idea how to sell multiple items at once.

===Sonichu and Rosechu as characters===
{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In 2009, a genius troll concocted a screenshot of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] as playable characters and told Chris that Nintendo was planning to release them on his 27th birthday, but--for [[Chris and reality|some mysterious reason]]--this plan never came to fruition.

<gallery style="margin: 0px auto 0px auto;">
Image:CWCShirtAC.jpg|You too can dress like Chris!
Image:Sonichu and Rosechu Approval for ACCityFolk.jpg|Sonichu and Rosechu.
Image:ACCityFolkSonichuRosechu.jpg|Chris's drawing of the Sonichu and Rosechu characters for the game, with special instructions on how they should be made, dated '06 [[January 2009]].
Image:3161674f78583fda5139ec49bbaa6b524b64aa06.jpg|What Chris...
Image:SonichuAC.jpg|...actually believed.
</gallery>

===Chris's Sonichu ''Animal Crossing'' cards===
Chris made a bunch of character [[Card games|cards]] for GameCube ''Animal Crossing''.

{{collapsible
|Chris's ''Animal Crossing'' Cards
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:088-ACCWC.jpg
Image:097-ACCWCBck.jpg
Image:123-ACCChan.jpg
Image:124-ACChanBck.jpg
Image:161-ACSchu1.jpg
Image:162-ACSchu1Bck.jpg
Image:164-ACSonee.jpg
Image:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg
Image:187-ACSchu2.jpg
Image:188-ACSchu2Bck.jpg
Image:207-ACMetonic.jpg
Image:208-CMetonicBck.jpg
Image:214-ACUltSchu.jpg
Image:215-ACUltSchuBck.jpg
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg
Image:229-ACRchu.jpg
Image:230-ACRchuBck.jpg
Image:231-ACRosey.jpg
Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg
Image:243-ACVamprosa.jpg
Image:244-ACVamprosaBck.jpg
Image:248-ACBchu.jpg
Image:249-ACBchuBck.jpg
Image:257-ACWild.jpg
Image:258-ACWildBck.jpg
Image:262-ACBubbles.jpg
Image:263-ACBubblesBck.jpg
Image:267-ACAngelica.jpg
Image:268-ACAngelicaBck.jpg
Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg
Image:273-ACPunchyBck.jpg
Image:277-ACMagi.jpg
Image:278-ACMagiBck.jpg
Image:283-ACFlame.jpg
Image:284-ACFlameBck.jpg
Image:286-ACBionic.jpg
Image:287-ACBionicBck.jpg
Image:290-ACWes.jpg
Image:291-ACWesBck.jpg
Image:292-ACWesLi.jpg
Image:293-ACWesLiBck.jpg
Image:297-ACSarah.jpg
Image:298-ACSarahBck.jpg
Image:300-ACSarhamah.jpg
Image:301-ACSarhamahBck.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:314-ACMegagi.jpg
Image:315-ACMegagiBck.jpg
Image:381-ACNaitsirhc.jpg
Image:382-ACNaitsirhcBck.jpg
Image:383-ACKel.jpg
Image:384-ACKelBck.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Chris-chan's ''Animal Crossing'' friend codes===
* ''City Folk'': 4124-9531-8122
* ''Wild World'': 0558-9666-5003

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Animal Crossing - Wii Box.jpg
Image:AnimalCrissingCWCEdition.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
*[[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]]
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]]
*[[Takashi Tezuka]]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Medallions

2017-04-29T17:03:58Z

Acrylicpaint: Rearranging for continuity and adding some new info

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth]]</ref>}}
[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|Oh yes, he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

The '''Medallions''' (also called "'''Medals'''" by [[Chris]]) were a result of Chris's infatuation with his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Due to the frequency of wearing his medallions in videos, photos and in public, it has become one of his more memorable characteristics along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]] and more recently his [[Tomgirl Saga|tom-girl appearance]].<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>"[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]"</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref> Although Chris's habit of wearing the medallion at all times has tapered off starting in [[2009]], he still wears the medallion in public as recently as [[October 2016]].

Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters and previously produced them in larger numbers for purchase through [[Ebay]]. All previous and current iterations have been made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]], and the quality varies from medallion to medallion.

In 2016, Chris made a custom doll figure of himself, based on a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' toy. He has been seen holding it up in videos and taking it out in public (visible from his purse), which suggests that the doll is a new spin on the Medallion concept.

__TOC__

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[File:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|thumb|An art project that may have provided inspiration.]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Although not explicitly stated as inspiration, the Medallion of Fail is similar in concept to the medallions worn by the main characters in ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Underground]]'', which originally aired a year beforehand.

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref><s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris wrote on his [[MySpace]] profile in [[2008]] that he considers the medallion a signifier which makes him "Very Easy to find in public"<ref name="myspace">"I am Very Easy to find in public; I usually wear my Sonichu Medallion." [[MySpace#July 2008]]</ref>, suggesting that he may use the medallion as a kind of mobile [[attraction sign]]: a conversation piece to invite potential [[sweetheart]]s to ask about Sonichu, giving Chris an excuse to launch into a tirade about [[Chris and his ego|his famous creation which has made him]] [[True and Loyal Fanbase|beloved across the world]].

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The medallions==
===Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for a video to be TRUE and HONEST it requires him to wear the medallion during it's filming. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|videos he posted confessing his homosexuality]], since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as [[2004#May|May 2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it in his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anonymous commentator on 4chan's /v/ board offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]], when a team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but Chris himself has confirmed that he indeed inserted the shreds of the medallion into his ass and later on expelled them into the toilet.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of 2011, the medallion was hanging on his wall, as seen in the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video.

For several months in [[2014]], it was speculated that this medallion was destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in Chris's house on 10 [[January 2014]]. However, photos from [[July 2014]] confirmed that it was spared destruction.
 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

The [[Rosechu]] medallion is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. It was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Only one Rosechu medallion existed, until Chris started making them for sale.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he admitted himself.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough whilst wearing the evil medallion, then whoever he's angered at will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|thumb|left|Baka Dana Watashi!]]
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|thumb|Back of the medallion.]]
Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.
{{Clear}}

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|left|The Medallion of Win in all its glory.]]
In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's [[Magical Man|mysterious friend]] is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal still hung on Chris's wall until the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|housefire]] of January 2014, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris wouldn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about. Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].

On 2 [[August 2014]] Chris confirmed that this medallion has been destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in his house on 10 [[January 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Fan items lost in the fire]]</ref>
{{Clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
[[Image:Abused cat.jpg|thumb|Poor kitty...]]

Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely the requirement that he must wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there is only one medallion that has not been obtained by trolls, shoved up Chris's ass, or otherwise destroyed.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed by Chris===
*Sonichu v.2

===Destroyed in the 14BC Fire===
*Asperchu

===Still in Chris's Possession===
*Sonichu v.3

==On hiatus==
[[File:PickingUpLesbiansAtTheEndGames.jpeg|thumb|Old habits die hard.]]

Chris began to move away from his medallions in [[2010]]. He wore one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]], and again in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). After that, Chris was not photographed wearing the medallion in either public or private settings for nearly four years. This abandonment coincided with his adoption of [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] attire; the medallion apparently did not fit his new image, though he eventually returned to wearing it.

Even while Chris had given up wearing the medallion, it still constituted an important part of his identity. In [[November 2012]], Chris made a Kreo (off-brand [[Lego]] sets made by [[Transformers|Hasbro]]) edition of himself wearing a tiny paper medallion for his [[Facebook]] image, suggesting that Chris hadn't totally given up on [[Sonichu_(comic)|Sonichu]]. The figure showed up again on his Facebook page in mid-2014, this time with a female friend (soon to be revealed as a new [[Catherine|sweetheart]]) wearing a Rosechu medallion.

In [[July 2014]], Chris sold several [[Autographed Photos|autographed photos of himself]] on [[eBay]], and some buyers requested that he wear the Sonichu medallion. As noted previously in this article, it was speculated that the third Sonichu medallion had been consumed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in his house on 10 [[January 2014]]. The photos which they received confirmed that the Sonichu v.3 medallion had indeed survived the fire,<ref>[[:File:Received_autographed_photos_-_5_Jul_2014.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Chris with medallion - July 2014.jpg]]</ref> but Chris later confirmed that the Asperchu medallion had been destroyed in the flames.<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>

In October 2015, Chris was spotted in public, at [[The End Games]] card shop, wearing the Medallion. He was also wearing it at [[Cville Pride]] a year later. Interestingly, Chris seems to now exclusively wear the medallion in public, despite no longer wearing it in his videos. This trend lends credence to Chris's previous statement that he wears the medallion so that [[Boyfriend-free girl|friends and well-wishers]] can identify him in public<ref name="myspace"/>.

To promote his $12,000 eBay auction for [[The Classic]] in [[April 2017]], Chris donned the medallion on video once more in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]].
<center><gallery>
File:133696094632.jpg|Appearance from 11 [[November 2010]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|YOUR MEDAL IS MADE OUT OF '''PAPER'''!
File:HOW MANY GENDERS ARE THERE.png|In 2016.
</gallery></center>

==Christine Doll==
[[File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|thumb|A new spin on an old trend]]
In 2016, Chris began carrying around a doll, ostensibly modeled after himself, custom-made from a Vinyl Scratch ''My Little Pony'' doll. This doll seems to serve a similar function as the Medallion.

The first appearance of it was in a paid video request entitled [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests|Singing an ol' diddy]], in which it is perched on his desk. During a [[Reading: "A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"#Chapter 3 and 4|subsequent request video]], Chris said, "This is another custom figure I made. Our [[hair]] matches!"

He was spotted in public with "MLP Figurines sticking out of his purse," by a field agent who snapped his photo [[Card Games#Toys "Я" Us|at a Toys R Us]] in September 2016.

When Chris went to the [[Cville Pride]] LGBT event a few days later, he posted a photo to Facebook, showing the Christine Doll holding hands with another Vinyl doll, with the caption "Vinyl and I are enjoying the music at #CVillePride2016." He again posed them as lesbians, photographing the scene and posting it to Facebook, in the following year.

Chris photographed himself playing with both the Christine Doll and a Skylanders 3D printed figure of himself at [[The End Games]] in January 2017.

On 27 September 2016, Chris displayed yet another sign of his deteriorating mental condition when he uploaded a set of videos (a [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#We Like Pearl|paid request]] and his [[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt‎‎|political commentary)]], in which he continuously says "we," in reference to himself and the doll. In December 2016, he still had this disturbing habit, as seen in [[Z-Ring Fun Extra]] at the 1:34 mark, when he knocks over the doll and calls it "myself."

<center><gallery>
File:Cwc and cwc.jpg|Playing with dolls in public, near children.
File:Christine doll and vinyl as lesbians.jpg|Role-playing a lesbian couple.
</gallery></center>

==The medallion goes mass-market==
[[File:Chris with medallion - July 2014.jpg|thumb|right|The medallion's return in 2014.]]

===Overview===
On 12 September 2014, Chris announced on his [[September 2014 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] page that he would be making and selling replica medallions on [[EBay]] for $30 each. He expressed a willingness to make not only Sonichu and Rosechu medals, but also "most any of the rest of the characters, or a custom of your choosing." His first listing of 55 sold out quickly, and he was forced to relist it. By the time sales were temporarily halted on December 6, he had succeeded in selling at least 114. He re-listed 30 medallions in February 2015, and these too quickly sold out. In June 2015, 16 more medallions appeared on his Ebay account, also selling out within a day. Photos indicated that he had extended the run of medallions to 300. In July he sold a few medallion/[[Amiibo]] bundle sets, and in August listed 20 more standalone medallions.

===Ebay Description===
{{quotebox|
Straight from the creator and artist, Christian Weston Chandler (myself), a Fresh molded, coloured and certified medallion of Sonichu, Rosechu, most any of the rest of the characters, or a custom of your choosing. It WILL be shipped in a sealed wrap marked "Fragile". My signature will be written on the backs if each medallion. A Personal Certificate of Authenticity will be included and a medallion will be attached to its back. NO LOCAL PICKUP AVAILABLE, at the Personal Risk of myself, the Original Creator and Artist.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Disclaimer: When ordering a medallion, or more than one, please specify which you would like: Sonichu or Rosechu. A medallion of the other cannon main characters may be requested for your purchase. Your own fan Sonichu or Rosechu character(s) version may also be requested and suggested. Should I find the suggested outside character offensive, I shall inform you and accept another suggestion or default to the Prime Sonichu or Rosechu character(s) for your order; I am usually easy on accepting of custom requests at first. The rings inserted into the medallions are smaller than a typical keychain ring. And the necklace for them will be set-length blue leather straps, tied at the ring, for best fit around most head and neck sizes. The flower on the photographed Rosechu medallion is not included by default; if you would like a flower added onto your Rosechu medallion, you may request it in your message at the time of, or following, your purchase. Also, please allow up to two weeks for creation of each medallion, and should any delays come up, I will inform you via eBay Private Message Individually, or make a public post on my Facebook page. And Final individual molding creation may or will vary or differ from those in the above photographs.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Take Heart and UNDERSTAND!!! There will NOT be ANY altercations made to the medallions AT ALL. The medallion(s) WILL be mailed via USPS First Class and Expedited with Delivery Confirmation and a Tracking Number and marked "Fragile; Handle With Care". I have NO obligation to make any personal appearances upon my own personal risk.
}}

For the July 2015 relisting, he added the following paragraph to this description. He did not, however, alter the description to reflect his supposed name change to Christine.

{{quotebox|
<nowiki>**</nowiki>NOTE, July 7, 2015: I have already molded, painted, certified and boxed individually, Sonichu Medallions equal to the maximum quantity available that I have listed right here, right now. So, everyone who requests Sonichu will get their shipped as early as the following day. Custom Orders are still an option, as described in the description, but still Please Allow up to Two Weeks for individual creation and shipment. Thank you.}}

Chris posted images of Sonichu and Rosechu medallion samples and the manufacturing components.
<center><gallery>
File:Medallions 1.JPG
File:Medallions 2.JPG
File:Medallions 3.JPG
File:Medallions 4.JPG
</gallery></center>

===Ebay Questions and Answers===
{{email|
Hi Christian! I have bought an ALF drawing from you and I want to know if I can have a medallion made for a Christmas present. Are you able to do one of Mega Man? Or of Alpha 5 from the Power Rangers? Please let me know!
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes, I can do both medals like that.
}}

{{email|
Hey there, I'm still trying to figure out which medallion I might want, but I was wondering if maybe it would be possible to request a Magi-chan or Punchy medallion? Or maybe since Halloween is coming up, is a Vamprosa possible as well? I would love that! Thanks in advance!!
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes, any of those characters are most doable.
}}

{{email|
Is this a limited edition offer? Are the medallions engraves with serial numbers? Also i'm curious as to what quantity you can produce. I'm interested in purchasing whole sale and was wondering if you can produce 200 units which would be sold in my business.
}}
{{EmailReply|
Well, the numbers are written/engraved in the back of each medallion, and they each come with a personal matching Certificate of Authenticity. I personally hand craft the medallions with heart and soul. To make an order as large as 200, I would definitely require the total amount of $30 X 200 medals, upfront and sent to my PayPal account, which the email address to which can be found upon checking out from one of my listings, along with an email or eBay PM to inform me of such a large order.
}}

{{email|
Hello. The original medallions that you wore were made using Crayola Model Magic and acrylic paint. Are you using the same materials to make these nice items? Have a pleasant day.
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes, I am using the same, but fresh, materials.
}}

{{email|
Is the item autographed with either marker or an engraving?
}}
{{EmailReply|
Permanent Ink Marker, and the Certificate will also have my personal Signature written onto it as well, but in RSVP Pentel Pen Ink.
}}

{{email|
How big are these Medallions and how much do they weigh? I don't want to risk getting weird stares while I wear it if it's too bulky.
}}
{{EmailReply|
Weight: feels like a few ounces; definitely less than a pound.
}}

{{email|
You say give you two weeks to make and ship our order. Does it really take you two weeks to make these? Or is this just an estimate? Also, how big are these, on average? I would like to wear mine all over, but if it's too [text missing]
}}
{{EmailReply|
Two weeks is an estimate, counting the time it would take to make a lot of them, depending on the total ordered quantity. They measure 3.5 inches X 3.5 inches square, and are a quarter inch thick, plus another quarter inch [text missing]
}}

{{email|
Can we request medallions of minor characters?
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes
}}

{{email|
Is it made out of Crayola Model Magic?
}}
{{EmailReply|
Yes.
}}

===Etsy Questions and Answers===
A fan's particular requests for custom medallions in [[September 2015]] required a brief conversation:

{{quoteboxgreen|What is Robee's girlfriend's name and how did she meet her?}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|That is still yet to be determined.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Im asking cuz I wanna order 4 custom medallions.

1 Of me

1 of Trunks from Dragonball GT (not Z or Super)

1 Of Robee

and

1 of Robee's girlfriend

itd be good to have a name and history to go with the face.

its not Mimi is it?}}

{{quotebox|It is definitely not Mimi. I will get back to you on Robee's sweetheart. And I can definitely fill that custom medallion order set you described. I will have your last order shipped out very soon. Thank you for your continued patronage.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|You're welcome! Does Robee have autism? What kind of stuff does she like to do in her spare time?}}

{{quotebox|Robee is Not autistic. In her spare time, she likes to be active, rather it's going out for a run, trying to meet the speed to make her own Zapping Booms (like her daddy), mingling and hanging out with her girl friends (her sweetheart is part of that friendship circle). Or spending time alone with her sweetheart, sharing secrets, having fun, and the private matters. She, Robee's Sweetheart, really enjoys the best of both the tribbing, the traditional, and the other things. Robee also enjoy playing the Wii Sports and Sonic/Mario Olympic games, writing out her thoughts in her diary, and self-reflecting and meditate. She is no stranger to a party either.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Does Robee turn into Ultra Sonichu or a woman scorned like Rosechu? Also, what Robee's reason behind becoming a tomgirl?}}

{{quotebox|She is a Female Soul trapped in a male body, and she really likes doing nearly everything with style, flare, and functional-to-her dashin' fashion.}}
[[File:Medallions.jpg|thumb|Sonichu sampler.]]
===Facebook Notices===
As with other aspects of his Ebay business, Chris frequently made relevant announcements on his Facebook page. The initial notice:

{{quotebox|12 September 2014
I am starting on making the medals for sale. I have the materials to make them now.
}}

Chris described the production process in detail in order to justify the two weeks he required to ship a medallion:

{{quotebox|25(?) September 2014
I would like to announce that I am most grateful for y'all's business on the Medallions. And such.

Also, just to let everyone know Why I estimate Two Weeks for creation of a medal or more....

First, I have to be in the mood and mindset for creation as best as I am able, or otherwise not busy with life details or chores and errands. Then I have to Mold them according to my own specifications, including being able to fit into the 3.5" square boxes with cotton puddings per box. Then they all have to air dry overnight. Then I paint the details, let that dry, and then use a permanent Ink find point marker to hand write my signature, (c), and production number. Followed by measuring the lengths of the neck straps from the longer leather strips, thread them through the rings of each medal as tie the two ends together. Then I print or photocopy the small square blank certificates, fill them each appropriately with their respective medal, and then laminate the certificates. And then there's the package wrapping, addressing And shipping them out at my local USPS Post Office. Around then, I would add the tracking numbers respectively as well.

And with that, I am making my promise now that from the first week's order amount if over thirty medals, I will have them all ready to ship, and ship them all on Friday the 27th!

Thank you all for your patronage and your patience. Have a good and safe day.
}}

Chris was happy when the first run of the medallions sold out.

{{quotebox|1 October 2014
My, My! The Medallion Listing ended with the last quantity number sold. No worries, people, I will have it relisted ASAP, when eBay refreshes my monthly Listing Allowance.

In the meantime, everyone can still get a Medallion for Free with purchase of a Framed Piece, Commission with the Works, and a Colored Commission. And I will now offer a Two-For-One Special through the B&W Listing; Free Medal with Purchase of a B&W Commission, and y'all may request a Medallion in lieu of a Commission Drawing. That is like buying Two Medallions for 1 2/3 of the total price.

I will extend the offer until when I am able to Relist the Medallions. I sincerely apologize for any inconveniences, and I thank you all for your understanding and patience.
}}

===The Mr. Smith Situation===
Among those who ordered a medallion from Chris was one Mr. Smith. There is some dispute concerning the origins of the conflict between Chris and Mr. Smith, and whether or not Mr. Smith's complaints were justified.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-09-21-14-chris-promises-all-the-medallions-will-be-shipped-by-9-27.4991/page-4#post-349366</ref><ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-9-30-angry-eyed-sonichu-medallions.5107/page-10#post-361784</ref><ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/my-experience-with-christian-featuring-a-new-original-art-piece.5501/</ref><ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-9-27-14-chris-blames-the-victim.5070/page-12#post-357047</ref> Whatever the case, around 18 [[September 2014]], Mr. Smith filed a claim against Chris on eBay before the two-week period Chris requested to ship the medallion, thereby freezing his PayPal account. Furious, Chris sent several angry messages to Mr. Smith pleading to lift the case.

{{EmailReply|
Your medal will be shipped tomorrow. PLEASE CLOSE YOUR CASE IMMEDIATELY; I NEED THE MONEY OUT OF THE LIMBO YOU HAVE FORCED IT INTO, SO I CAN SHIP IT AND THE REMAINDER!!! - jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Listen to me, Buster! I told you I needed up to two weeks for the creation of the medals in the Listing! And if there is a delay, I would let everyone know. See attached image for WHY I NEED THE TIME!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

In for you to get YOUR medal at all right now and Sooner is for you to Close Your Case and let me have the money back! You are being a Major Cyber-Bully and a God Damed Internet Troll right now! If you want to redeem yourself and be forgiven, you WILL give me the money Back in Closing your Case against me RIGHT NOW!!! PLEASE!!!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

You will get your medal, but I NEED THE MONEY, Please! Why are you being a damn Bully?!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

At this point Chris doxxed Mr. Smith on Facebook.

{{quotebox|26 September 2014
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT OPEN ANY EBAY CASES AGAINST ME!!! When someone does that, it forces the amount removed into Limbo from my PayPal, which risks pushing it into the Red, as when it is forced untie red, an OVERDRAFT FEE is charged against me, and when I have Negative Money in my PayPal Account, I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SHIP ANYTHING!!! Daniel, your medal has just been shipped, ad the other two people, yours and the current remainder will be shipped tomorrow, or NOT IF YOU DO NOT CLOSE YOUR CASES AGAISNT ME AND GIVE ME THE MONEY BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

Do Not Be So Damn Impatient and Greedy!!! God Dang It!!!
}}
To which he added:
{{quotebox|
Either tomorrow or on the First of October; depending if the two people ([omitted] closed his case; very much appreciated) close Their casses immediately or not! UGH!!!

[Omitted] of Portland, Oregon, AKA: username: [omitted]. And [omitted] of Lashmeet, West Virginia, AKA: username: [omitted].

Bullies! They're being Damn Bullies!!! Ugh!!!
}}

Mr. Smith was upset.

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?! You just posted my name and where I live on your Facebook. I know you deleted it but someone screenshotted it and showed it to me. Now I'm getting prank phone called. I'm reporting you to Ebay RIGHT NOW....
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I am very sorry about trolling you like that, I will have your medal shipped tomorrow, most definitely.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

Your medallion has been sent; you may check the Tracking Number; PLEASE Close Your Case Immediately.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

No. This is far from over. I spent an hour on the phone with Ebay last night and now they're getting involved with the investigation. I have proof that you did it and some people even want me to go to the cops with it.
}}

{{EmailReply|
Look, I am Really Sorry about that; I was under a lot of stress, and what I did was wrong. Please end this chaos. I do not want any trouble.
}}

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

You're only saying that you're sorry because you're in trouble. You've not even attempted to make the situation up to me.
}}

Chris tried to resolve the problem with a Facebook post.

{{quotebox|27 September 2014
I DID make a comment where I named two people who opened cases against me, plummeting my PayPal account closer to the Red Again! I was under a LOT of Stress! The One Remaining who is refusing to Close his Case is causing me more grief and stress enough that could kill me with a heart attack or a stroke.

Saying his and her names in the comment was very wrong of me, and I understand what I did was a Trolling-Stupid Act; that is Not Me, and [[Chris and remorse|I am Very, Truly Sorry]] for doing that. But I had deleted shortly after, and yet it wasn't quick enough for the REAL TROLLS AND CYBER-BULLIES to screen cap it and forcing it against me into even more stress and trouble!

Can't we just forgive and forget? Or are the lot of you soo corrupted, that you have lost all feeling in your hearts, and sold your own souls and self-beings to a form of a devil that keeps you all dragged down in front of your monitors day in and day out with only sole and pitiful purposes of needlessly torturing EVERYBODY ELSE, regardless of Innocent or Guilty or In-Between?

Good Grief!!!

--:( feeling drained.
}}

Chris hoped this would resolve the issue, and sent two private messages to Mr. Smith:

{{EmailReply|
I just made a public apology in full detail from my exhausted heart and soul on my Facebook. I am NOT RICH! My mother and I are just getting by as it is. You would gain nothing from me or my family in any court of law or whatever. [[Michael Snyder]] knows what I am talking about; he thought it would be a get-rich-quick scheme for him, but he was very wrong, and he had to go out of business of His [[The GAMe PLACe|Hobby PLace]] afterwards. You think about that.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
And I will also add that you are torturing a [[Homos#Chris the lesbian|Lesbian and a Transgender]], as well as an [[Autism|Autistic Individual]]; the HRC and Autism Facilities would be very interested in hearing about my being abused by Your constant inaction, bullying on me and lack of cooperation of a heartfelt conclusion and settlement. Think about that a well.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

This did not satisfy Mr. Smith.

{{email|
Dear jesusguidesme2,

I don't care that you're gay and autistic. You intentionally tried to harm me and you're going to suffer the consequences.
}}

{{EmailReply|
You Hurt Me First and worst by pushing my finances towards the Red with great risk of getting an Overdraft charged against me! This fight is needless and nonsense; what's done is done. I have most sincerely apologized, I shipped your Medal Out Today! Please Just Stop Attacking Me!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

At this point Mr. Smith received a Sonichu medallion from Chris, but it came with an angry expression. The certificate was marred by black smudges. Mr. Smith complained that it was not what he had asked for. Chris summarized the dispute on Facebook:

{{quotebox|30 September 2014
I want to make it publicly known to everyone that Mr. Smith (to hold his first name on identity sake) is being a further bully by making a false case against me. The Medallion I had sent him is a Sonichu Medallion, but because of how his actions against me made me feel and all, his Medallion has an Angry Expression, where the eyes' whites were painted orange, with a flame look on the irises, and a most Angry facial expression. He is claiming it to be a Blue something, possibly like the ONE Yawning Squirtle Medallion that was order by another (Female) customer.

His case is very false, and I want the record to show that the Only Thing Blue about his medallion is the Neck Strap, just like most everyone else's medallions. The actual medal is of the same Sonichu face shape, but with the angry expression I have stated just now. Please make Mr. Smith stop Cyber-Bullying and Trolling Me with his constant hold on the $30 that is still very much in Limbo currently.
}}

A number of Chris's fans were concerned that the certificate was smudged because Chris had spit on it or worse. Chris reassured one fan:

{{EmailReply|
I have never spit on anything I have shipped out. The only recent mishap was black paint being spilt onto a couple of blank certificates.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Chris and Mr. Smith continued to argue via private messages.

{{EmailReply|
You must be mistaken; your medallion is NOT BLUE at all. And I was very careful of sending you the right medallion, which in your case, because of how you made me feel, I gave the Sonichu face an enraged, angry expression. I do not do Refunds, because what I sell are Customized Items; they do not resell, period. I am under the impression you are just further bullying me for your own perspective of revenge. The decision is final. Good Day.
}}

{{EmailReply|
I did not send you the wrong medallion, I PURPOSELY molded, Drew and colored it to [[Chris and anger|BE ANGRY at YOU]], for your constant stubborn attitude and Bullying. And you certainly are bucking up to be worthy of my own anger as well. Accurate Item; MADE CUSTOM JUST FOR YOU, [omitted]! Hmmpf!
}}

Mr. Smith still refused to lift his eBay case against Chris, and demanded satisfaction. Chris agreed to send a new, unadulterated medallion as well as a free commissioned drawing, which Mr. Smith requested be a portrait of himself with Sonichu.

The illustration, dated 13 October, turned out to be a mockery of Mr. Smith. While Mr. Smith had sent photos of himself to Chris for reference, Chris drew Mr. Smith with a "troll face;" depicted a bucket of ice about to topple onto his head; and drew Sonichu saying, "You just couldn't let up and be patient, could you, Mr. Smith?" Chris also wrote on the drawing, "YOU PUT ME ON A [[tugboat|SINKING SHIP]], KILLING MY FINANCES."

Still unsatisfied and persisting with his eBay complaint, Mr. Smith demanded that Chris make a [[To Mr. Smith|video apology]]. Because Chris was not wearing his medallion while making this apology, Mr. Smith suspected that it was not True and Honest. Chris responded:

{{EmailReply|
I am for real, and I do not have to wear my medallion to prove myself. I have done more than your money's worth for you. I am the real Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA. And you can best tell who I am from my Face. I am sick of kissing your pitiful ass. Now, you can kiss my [[un-clit|cooch]]!

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Ultimately, eBay decided to refund the $30 to Mr. Smith. So Mr. Smith received for free the following loot:
<center><gallery>
File:Mrsmithangryeyessonichu.jpg|"Angry eyes" Sonichu.
File:Authentically autistic.JPG|The smeared certificate.
File:Med 73 B.JPG|The second, unadulterated medallion.
File:Chris's Commission to Mr. Smith (compressed).jpg|The commissioned drawing.
</gallery></center>

Needless to say, Chris got some of his pity points dropped even before [[26 December 2014]] occurred.

===The Received Medallions===
Recipients noted that the medallions were surprisingly lightweight. A number had parts broken off; Chris routinely included a note that these could be fixed with Krazy Glue. This note was hand-written at first, but eventually he created a typed version, complete with misspelling. Another common problem was that Chris placed medallions in boxes while they were still wet or before the clay had set, resulting in smearing and fading. Some had fingerprints, or arrived with disturbing foreign materials. In 2015, he began signing his name as "Christine," but was too lazy to print up new certificates to reflect the name change.

{{collapsible
|Gallery of medallions, thus far
|<center><gallery>

File:Med 12 B.jpg|Number 12, box.
File:Med 12 C.jpg|Number 12, box.
File:Med 12 D.jpg|Number 12, box.
File:Med 12 A.jpg|Number 12, [[Yawning Squirtle]].
File:Med 12 E.jpg|Number 12, back.
File:Med 12 G.jpg|Chris's lack of knot tying know-how is evident.
File:Med 13 A.jpg|Number 13, box.
File:Med 13 B.jpg|Number 13, box.
File:Sonchu.jpg|Number 13, front.
File:Med 13 D.jpg|Number 13, back.
File:Med 18 box.JPG|Number 19, EVIL BOX.
File:Mrsmithangryeyessonichu.jpg|Number 19, Mr. Smith's medallion.
File:Authentically autistic.JPG|Number 19, smeared certificate.
File:Med 23.jpg|Number 23. Recipient said the nose fell off and the signature was illegible.
File:Med 25 A.jpg|Number 25, elegantly displayed.
File:Med 25 B.jpg|Number 25, close-up.
File:Med 27 A.jpg|Number 27.
File:Med 27 B.jpg|Number 27, certificate.
File:Med 34.png|Number 34.
File:Med 35.jpg|Number 35.
File:Med Y.jpg|Number 38.
File:Med 41 A.jpg|Number 41.
File:Med 41 B.jpg|Number 41, back.
File:Med 41 C.jpg|Number 41, certificate.
File:Med 41 D.jpg|Number 41, "Care and [[Chris and English|Maintainence]]".
File:Med 41 E.jpg|Number 41, Chris is not very prompt (note the [[A-Logging|a-loggish]] comment).
File:Med 41 G.jpg|Number 41's satisfied customer.
File:Med 46 A.JPG|Number 46, box.
File:Med 46 C.JPG|Number 46.
File:Med 46 B.JPG|Number 46, back.
File:Med 59 A.png|Number 59.
File:Med 59 B.png|Number 59, back. [[Chris and art|Note the smearing]].
File:Med 59 C.png|Number 59, certificate.
File:Med 60 A.jpg|Number 60, box.
File:Med 60 B.jpg|Number 60, box.
File:Med 60 C.jpg|Number 60, the complete package.
File:Med 60 D.jpg|Number 60, close-up.
File:Med 60 E.jpg|Number 60, another picture.
File:Med 60 F.jpg|Number 60, yet another view.
File:Med 60 G.jpg|Number 60, certificate.
File:Med 61 A.jpg|Number 61, box.
File:Med 61 B.jpg|Number 61, box.
File:Med 61 C.jpg|Number 61, as packaged. Recipient said it [[Axe|smelled bad]].
File:Med 61 D.jpg|Number 61, [[Wild Sonichu]].
File:Med 61 E.jpg|Number 61, back. Typical smearing.
File:Med 61 F.jpg|Number 61, certificate, with paint smears.
File:Med 61 G.jpg|Number 61, "Care and Maintainence".
File:Med 61 H.jpg|Number 61, fingerprints.
File:Med 61 I.jpg|Number 61, hair.
File:Med 62C.png|Number 62, box.
File:Med 62A.png|Number 62 with certificate.
File:Med 62B.png|Number 62's satisfied customer.
File:Meds 64 & 65 B.png|Numbers 64 and 65.
File:Meds 64 & 65 A.png|Numbers 64 and 65, back.
File:Med 66 B.jpg|Number 66, certificate.
File:Med 66 A.jpg|Number 66.
File:Med Z.JPG|Number 68, Wild Sonichu.
File:Med 69 C.jpg|Number 69, box.
File:Med 69 D.jpg|Number 69. Box had "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|strange brownish stains]]" on it.
File:Med 69 A.jpg|Number 69, [[Robbie Sonichu]].
File:Med 69 G.jpg|Number 69, back.
File:Med 69 E.jpg|Number 69, the complete package.
File:Med 69 F.jpg|Number 69. The nose fell off.
File:Med 69 B.jpg|Number 69. Recipient identified this as "[[Chris and health|a booger attached to a lock of hair]]" found inside the box.
File:Med 70.JPG|Number 70. The recipient requested that Chris sign it.
File:Med 72 A.jpg|Number 72, box.
File:Med 72 B.jpg|Number 72. "([[Yu-Gi-Oh]]) Yuya's Pendant".
File:Med 72 C.jpg|Number 72. The recipient gave Chris five options; this is the one he chose.
File:Med 72 D.jpg|Number 72, artist's signature.
File:Med 72 E.jpg|Number 72. "Yuya's Pendant".
File:Med 73 A.JPG|Number 73.
File:Med 73 B.JPG|Number 73, close-up.
File:Med 73 C.JPG|Number 73, certificate.
File:Med 73 D.JPG|Number 73. The nose fell off this one too.
File:Med 76 A.jpg|Number 76, [[Megagi La Skunk]].
File:Med 76 C.jpg|Number 76, close-up.
File:Med 76 D.jpg|Number 76, back.
File:Med 76 B.jpg|Number 76, certificate.
File:Med 76 E.jpg|Number 76 on display.
File:Med 78&79 C.png|Number 78, box.
File:Med 78&79 D.png|Number 78, box.
File:Med 78&79 B.png|Number 78.
File:Med 78&79 E.png|Number 79, box.
File:Med 78&79 A.png|Number 79. Plusa, the recipient's Sonichu original character.
File:Med 78&79 F.png|Numbers 78 & 79, certificates.
File:Med 80.jpg|Number 80, [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
File:Med 83 A.jpg|Number 83, box.
File:Med 83 B.jpg|Number 83, "Red" Sonichu, apparently another original character.
File:Med 83 C.jpg|Number 83, back.
File:Med85.png|Number 85.
File:Med 86 A.jpg|Number 86, box.
File:Med 86 B.jpg|Number 86, opening the box.
File:Med 86 C.jpg|Number 86, box.
File:Med 86 D.jpg|Number 86. The ears were broken.
File:Med 86 E.jpg|Number 86, certificate and ears.
File:Med 86 F.jpg|Number 86, back.
File:Med 86 G.jpg|Number 86, more questionable knotting.
File:114 1.jpg|Number 114, box.
File:114 2.jpg|Number 114, mailing address.
File:114 3.jpg|Number 114. "Please Leave Positive Feedback."
File:114 4.jpg|Number 114, certificate.
File:114 5.jpg|Number 114, Rosechu.
File:114 6.jpg|Number 114, with METAL.
File:Med 123.png|Number 123.
File:Med126.jpg|Number 126.
File:Med 139A.jpg|Number 139.
File:Med 139D.jpg|Number 139 being utilized.
File:Med 139B.jpg|Number 139, certificate.
File:Med 139C.jpg|Number 139, signed as "Christine."
File:Med 140J.jpg|Number 140, package.
File:Med 140A.jpg|Number 140, box.
File:Med 140B.jpg|Number 140.
File:Med 140E.jpg|Number 140, another view.
File:Med 140F.jpg|Number 140, back.
File:Med 140G.jpg|Number 140, certificate.
File:Med 140K.jpg|Number 140, with real art.
File:Med 140C.jpg|Illustration included with 140 to make up for international shipping.
File:Med147B.jpg|Number 147, box.
File:Med147E.jpg|Number 147, certificate.
File:Med147C.jpg|Number 147, [[Sammy]].
File:Med147D.jpg|Number 147, another view.
File:Med 147A.jpg|Number 147, back.
File:Med152A.jpg|Number 152, with [[pickles]].
File:Med152B.jpg|Number 152, back.
File:Med152C.jpg|Number 152, certificate.
File:Medallion178.jpg|Number 178, owned by "Kinisis Gaming."
File:Sonichu medallion number 181.jpg|Number 181, from someone named "Dcencia."
File:Asperchu medallion.jpg|Number 182, [[Asperchu]] from someone named "Jeatz Axl."
File:Med 186 A.jpg|Number 186.
File:Med 186 B.jpg|Number 186, as it arrived in its box.
File:Med 186 C.jpg|Number 186, another view.
File:Med 186 D.jpg|Number 186, box.
File:Med 186 E.jpg|Number 186, certificate.
File:Med 192A.jpg|Number 192.
File:Med 192B.jpg|Number 192, back.
File:Med 192C.jpg|Number 192, box and certificate.
File:Med 192D.jpg|Number 192, instructions. Lots of hair.
File:Magi-Chan Sonichu Medallion.jpg|Number 207, [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] owned by "Dcencia."
File:Chris-Chan Sonichu Medallion.jpg|Number 208, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] owned by "Dcencia."
File:HEILFART1.jpg|Number 209, the [[July 2015 Facebook Posts#The Hitler Medallion|Hitler Medallion]].
File:HEILFART2.jpg|Number 209, back.
File:Med 209A.jpg|Number 209, box and certificate.
File:Med X C.jpg|Unknown number, Sonichu.
File:Med X D.png|Certificate for previous medallion.
File:Med X A.jpg|Box for previous.
File:Med X B.jpg|Box for previous.
File:Med instagram.jpg|Unknown number, posted on Instagram.
File:JojoswoonMedallion.jpg|Another Sonichu from someone named "Jojoswoon."
File:Med Oney.png|Medallion belonging to Internet animator OneyNG<ref>[https://twitter.com/oneyng/status/549287362824781824 Twitter]</ref>, co-creator of ''Hellbenders'' and friend of [[Sonichu the animated series|Spazkid]].
File:Med divintrial.png|Twitter user "divintrial" with his medallion.
File:Med cosplay.png|Cosplayer with authentic medallion.
File:Cosplayer with Medallion.jpg|Presumably the same cosplayer having a blast.
File:Medallion Customer.jpg|He can feel the cosmos.
File:Medallion_251.jpg|A happy owner of 251. Couldn't ask for a better birthday gift.
File:Med 254.jpg| Medallion 254. This one had hair in it.

</gallery></center>}}

A few purchasers included videos:

Number 23: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5HFzNUQREQ

Number 25: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPfpZ6v5JK0

Number 178: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dFXTUFM3RI

Number 199: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP5HANhgZaU&feature=youtu.be

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}
{{BusinessList}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

List of Sonichu characters

2017-04-26T00:29:36Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) */

The following is a '''list of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters''', in order of appearance.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Christian Weston Chandler===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan Sonichu|Collosal Chan|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[File:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|The heroic Christian Weston Chandler!]]

Chris-chan's alternate self and [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]], who, believe it or not, is meant to be the hero. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much thinner than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). Comic Chris is also even ''more'' psychotic than Real Chris, having [[4-cent garbage.com|murdered hundreds of people]] in a [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorist]] attack, permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|several]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|others]], [[Gun Comic|blown out people's kneecaps with a handgun]] after they've surrendered, [[Sonichu 0|destroyed]] the home life of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job, carried out a mini-Holocaust on [[homos]]exuals, and had four men arrested, tried in an openly biased court, and personally executed in brutal and inhumane ways. For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]]. And all with a gleeful smile on his face. His medallion allows him to don a [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursuit]] when he shouts the phrase ''Electric Hedgehog Power!'', and he can access his [[Collosal Chan|Collosal]] form with the use of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].

Christian first appeared right on the front cover of [[Issue 0]], ordering Sonichu around. He cameoed throughout the rest of the comics, and took over as the main character in [[Issue 2]], which portrayed him as a descendant of the [[Cherokian Clan]] and fulfiller of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Chris has since made himself and his [[love quest]] the [[Chris and his ego|center of attention]] and main focus of the comic in every issue (with a [[Sonichu 8|few exceptions]]).

===Sonichu===
{{main|Sonichu (character)|Ultra Sonichu}}

[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|left|'I am [[gay|STRAIGHT!]]']]
Christian's "original" character. Sonichu is a recolor who is an unholy fusion of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|a Pikachu]]. In earlier episodes he was the main protagonist of the comics. That is, until Chris took the spotlight. By [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Christian had taken over as the main character, and by [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris had added [[Chaotic Combo|a new batch of recolors]] who took over from Sonichu as the supporting cast. Consequently, Sonichu didn't have a central role again until [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where he returned to his original purpose as a Sue for Chris. He continued this trend through the following issue. However, he did remain in the spotlight in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], despite Chris's return, as he transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] and helped Chris in his killing spree.

===Rosechu===
{{main|Rosechu|The Incredible Lioness}}

[[Sonichu]]'s worthless, 0-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. [[Women's rights|This is Chris's idea of how women behave]], likely adapted from TV comedies or anime. She is the one of the few main characters to do almost nothing for the entire series, though she did once face rape [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights|Again]].

Sonic also appears on the front cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], and is thought to be returning for the '10 year anniversary.'

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonic X'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes Perfect Chaos, a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

===Trainer Kel===
{{main|Kel}}

[[File:KelHallOfFame.jpg|thumb|left|Wait, when did Kel ever see Rosechu again?]]
Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into [[Rosechu]]. Continued to take care of Rosechu until [[Sonichu]] took over as her new pimp. She then disappeared for a long time, but when [[Sean August Watley]] later used Trainer Kel as a central character in his own comic, Moon-Pals, Christian became [[Death threats|very upset]]. When Sean was executed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris bought back Kel as his executioner, where she got her revenge on Sean for him DARING to give her a personality and a starring role.

Most of Kel's backstory and what little personality she apparently had came through the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu. According to this article, by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with [[Naitsirhc]] at some point. This same article also claimed however, that she was kind, sweet, innocent and caring.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu]</ref> This in spite of the fact that she shot a man to death at point-blank range. Given the contradictions, it is safe to assume that this article is non-canon.

===David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]" even for her loose, gaping [[China]], and suggesting Kel have sex with him herself. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will [[Chris and writing#Kudzu plot|never know]].

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0]] (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created [[Simonla|gender-benders]] before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered "Daisy" to Rosechu for a [[lesbian]] relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.

===Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc===
{{main|Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc}}
[[File:082-ReldnahcNotsewNaitsirhc.jpg|thumb|100px|You can tell he's gay because he is shirtless. Straight men wear [[Muscle bra|bras]]!]]

Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, he was Christian's long lost twin brother, and was found and adopted by the [[Pokémon]] villain [[Giovanni]], and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When [[Chris]] fell into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], his [[Medallion]] also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil(er) version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "[[gay|straight]]" twin.

Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after [[Black Sonichu]], which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Christian [[Rape|pins him down]] and forcibly injects him with the Gay Vaccine from the future, which destroys his medallion, makes him lose his powers and turns him into a "good guy". Because as we all know, [[Chris and reality|homosexuality makes you evil]]. He was then sent to [[Kel]].

===Zapdos===
{{main|Pokémon}}

An electric type Pokémon and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of Black Sonichu.

===Jerkhief===
{{main|Jerkhief}}

[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|Chris did once explain what this line meant. It made no more sense afterward than before.]]
Leader of the [[Jerkops]]. The Jerkhief is a massive [[African American]] man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"

He attempts to arrest Chris for soliciting in the [[CWCville]] Mall, but is defeated by Christian's use of his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form. Jerkhief pulls a gun on the attacking furmonster, but Christian hits him with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], causing him to lose his wife, children and home, and making the poor man break down in tears. Another victory for the forces of good!

===Jerkops===
{{main|Jerkops}}
Villainous foot-soldiers of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his [[Love Quest]]. They are supposedly brainwashed [[slow-in-the-minds]] and College students. In spite of this, Christian has [[Chris and death|no qualms in killing them]], and doesn't even mention the possibility of curing them until way later in the series. It has also been suggested that the Jerkops leaders (aside from Mary and [[Count Graduon]]) were under similar influence, which makes Christian's cruelty to Jerkhief even worse.

===Metonic===
{{main|Metonic}}

Evolved form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Vamprosa===
{{main|Vamprosa}}

Evolved form of [[Rosechu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Barbara Chandler===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}}

[[File:Bc.PNG]]

Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from [[Naitsirhc]] in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Giovanni===
{{main|Giovanni}}
[[File:SchuGioRetard.jpg|thumb|right|The insidious Giovanni]]
The leader of Team Rocket and villain of the first generation [[Pokémon]] games, Giovanni is determined to capture [[Sonichu]] at any cost. He teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, as Sonichu unexpectedly got help in dealing with the kidnappers, rather than going in alone like a retard, as they expected him to do. However, he only got help from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] because he bumped into him on his way to the base. So Sonichu is still retarded, just lucky.

Later on, Giovanni seems to have reevaluated his goals, and now seeks to take over [[CWCville]] and kill Christian, as he joined forces with the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and helped them out during their attack on the city in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Surprisingly, he seemed to want his son Reldnahc to rule the city, rather than wanting it for himself. This shows that at least Giovanni thinks of others sometimes rather than himself, which is more than can be said for our heroes.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}

[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|left|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, 'Dr. Eggman', as he is known, has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers; [[CWCville|Eggmanland]]. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help Giovanni devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the PVCC. Why he would ever bother with trivial things such as catching Pokémon, or why he has any kind of grudge against [[Chris and his ego|Chris of all people]] is a mystery that not even [[GodJesus]] could solve.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots (Including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable E-Series robots), countless personal mechs, and of course Metal Sonic. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite, (As seen in ''Sonic Unleashed'') that could blow the fucking planet into pieces. Despite having this MASSIVE load of firepower, he has used NONE of it in his battle again Chris. Not even a single Badnik.

===Team Rocket===
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures [[Pokémon]] (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in [[CWCville]].

Team Rocket is run by [[Giovanni]] and his retarded homosexual son, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

They are also responsible for the creation of [[Blake]].

=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===
[[File:Bill1.png|thumb|<s>Bill Nye the Science Guy</s> Dr. Bill Schwartz, the Scientist.]]
One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore (and totally not a [[Wikipedia:Bill Nye the Science Guy|ripoff]]), Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

It was for quite some time canon, that Bill was getting high somewhere on [[the Moon]] together with Chris's other forgotten Sonichu characters, such as the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, [[Moon-Pals]]. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.

Bill makes his grand return in the new pages of [[Sonichu 11]] drawn in [[2015]], where he witnesses the body of [[Simonla Rosechu]] come back to life via the power of ''[[Wikipedia:Deus Ex Machina|deus ex machina]]''.

===Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake===
{{main|Blake}}
[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg|thumb|left|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog|someone]]?]]

Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic urine-and-feces color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu|trannie]].

He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.

Although Black Sonichu was technically introduced in the following issue, he did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu strips, [[Love quest|stalking]] [[Rosechu]].

=== Metal Sonichu ===
The [[Sonichu]] rip-off of Metal Sonic, Metal Sonichu is one of the few characters that even Chris will admit is a rip-off. Despite this, he has [[Alec]]'s derivative character Metal [[Asperchu]] refer to Chris as the "original creator", either implying that Chris wanted to claim Metal Sonichu as original all along, or he wanted to [[Chris and copyright|take credit for another one of Alec's characters]]. Sadly, though, he blames the villains for it. Much like the original Metal Sonic, it is a combat robot built by [[Doctor Robotnik]] (Later retconned into [[Ren Skysoar]]) for [[Giovanni]] in the image of Sonichu, with the intention of [[Jerkops|capturing]] or [[Chris and Death|killing]] its organic counterpart.

In fitting with its role as a killing machine, it had some unique weapons and capabilities which the original Sonichu did not have- these included laser/lightning cannon-like weapons built into both of its hands/forearms, an automated targeting system built into its HUD, levitation, high speed flight and air-dashing abilities provided by the booster engine in its body, a sharpened axe blade-like tail for deadlier mid-air spin attacks, and a lightweight yet incredibly resilient armor and chassis which was capable of resisting several attacks from both Sonic and Sonichu with little apparent damage. It appears to be powered by rechargeable batteries (Or at least has them as one of its potential energy sources), as seen in its picture with Ren Skysoar showing it plugged into a wall and recharging via an extension lead on its tail. It also matches and could theoretically exceed Sonichu's [[power]] and standard abilities, although this was not seen during its initial appearance.

Metal Sonichu is defeated in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] by Sonic and Sonichu after being hit by a combined attack which hurls it into space, eventually causing it to crash into the [[Moon]]; however, the robotic clone survives this attack, as evident by the sight of its eyes glowing in the darkness and a clawed metal hand rising out of a crater, resulting in a cliffhanger.

The fans speculated that Chris probably just forgot about the robotic clone and that it would never be heard of again, but after being constantly reminded about it in the [[Mailbag]], and after Sean used Metal Sonichu for Moon-Pals, Chris suddenly declared that Metal Sonichu would be returning at some point in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] or [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]. According to Chris, the deactivated Metal Sonichu would have been found on the Moon and used as a vessel for the recently-revived [[Count Graduon]] to return to Earth, and would become the new villain- mostly because he had already removed every other major villain from the comic permanently in preparation for [[Sonichu 10|an issue]] dedicated to murdering characters based on his IRL trolls, and afterwards, [[Chris and writing|left nothing for his characters to do anymore]] as a result of it. Whether or not we'll actually see Metal Sonichu pull it off remains to be seen.
{{-}}
<center><gallery>
Image:MetalSonichu.jpg|A robotic copy of a [[Sonichu (character)|copy]], and it's still the more likeable of the two.
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg|In [[Animal Crossing]] card form.
Image:221-ACMSchuBck.jpg|Yeah...
Image:222-YuMSchu.jpg|[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] variation.
File:Ren_metal.jpg|With [[Ren Skysoar]].
</gallery></center>

 

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear Solid|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s on-again off-again love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12-year-old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''Sonic Adventure'', where she singlehandedly defeated the powerful ZERO (E-100 Alpha) robot and re-united a separated family of birds, or in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any Rosechu. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Issue 1]] where she talks with Rosechu at CWCville Mall about meaningless bullshit. Interestingly, the page shows how much Chris ended up copying her design for Rosechu.

Chris later introduced two new pages to Sonichu #1 in [[October 2015]] revealing that both she and Sonic were simply disguises utilized by [[Silvana]]'s shapeshifting ability. Whether this becomes more integrated in other issues of the series is yet to be seen.

===Hanna===
{{main|Hanna}}

A woman who [[trolled]] Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his [[Attraction Sign]]. Chris not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.

The ''Sonichu'' version of Hanna is apparently an agent of PVCC, and the only troll in the entire comic to not be a cartoonishly evil-looking miscreant, probably due to being a woman.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==

===Wes Iseli===
{{main|Wes Iseli|Wasabi Rival}}

[[File:Wes Iseli.jpg|thumb|left|In his Wes-Li Sonichu form.]]
Sarah Hammer's IRL boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee.

When Chris fulfilled the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] by becoming [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating [[Count Graduon]]. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], and attending [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain conclave in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], as well as assisting in the attack on CWCville during [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Hammer|Queen of the Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:Sonichu02-P13.jpg|thumb|Sarah as she appears in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].]]

Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furry just like himself.

As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against [[Count Graduon]]. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone. Sarah then got married to another man, rejecting Chris yet again, and she left the city of CWCville entirely. She did cameo once more, though, in [[Sonichu Special 2]], where she dressed in drag and attended the ceremony of Christian's ill-fated marriage to [[Ivy]], acting as his best man.

===Keeper of the Destiny Cave===
[[File:Keeper.PNG|thumb|Is he old or just a kid with a beard?]]
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his [[Medallion]] to transform into his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursona]]. After revealing the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with [[Yawning Squirtle]], if he's smart.

===Mary Lee Walsh===
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|left|For some reason, Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. [[Chris and Writing|At no point is any information about her motivation for this provided by anybody]].

Mary Lee Walsh first appeared in the comics in [[Issue 2]], but a preview of her design was shown in [[Issue 0]], and she had been mentioned in both [[sub-episodes]] that had been in previous comics. In her first full appearance, she was wielding the staff of [[Count Graduon]], and directing the Golem attacking [[CWCville]]. This is thought to be her canonical first appearance as well, and it is believed that the subepisodes all take place after [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], since the very first sub-episode features Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Throughout the comics, she did nothing but throw wave after wave of [[Jerkops]], [[Manajerks]] and other PVCC agents at Chris. Occasionally she'd help out herself, and sometimes she'd just kick back and let her robots handle it. She captured [[Crystal Weston Chandler]] in the Dark Mirror Hole at one point, but it had very little lasting consequence. Christian later confronted her as Hobo-Chan in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. There, she let Chris destroy Graduon's staff and she surrendered. Not content, Christian attacked her with two large swords. It ended with her being paralyzed for life and put in prison.

===Count Graduon===
{{main|Count Graduon}}

[[Image:Count Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the most [[Pickle|phallic]] villain in the ''Sonichu'' series.]]
The Evil released when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the [[Cherokian Clan]]. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has secretly manipulated [[Silvana Rosechu]] to become his tranny rape weapon against the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. He appeared to be destroyed after [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|GodMode!Chris]] smashes his staff in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but Chris has stated that he would bring Graduon back in a later issue, during which he would have found and possessed the deactivated Metal Sonichu on the [[Moon]], again returning to Earth as the main villain. From late-[[2015]] onwards, Chris has gradually began to place more emphasis on Graduon, creating a new design to show his true physical form, and also devising a Mii [[Super Smash Bros. Videos|that he then featured in several videos]] involving him fighting Walsh.

===Golem===
A weapon used by [[Count Graduon]] after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with Mary Lee Walsh. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2, where it originally appeared as a boss controlled by Eggman.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===The Chaotic Combo===
{{main|Chaotic Combo}}

Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the [[Rainbow]] that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. They would form the central cast of ''Sonichu'' for the rest of the comic, outranking even the original Sonichu in the CWCville hierarchy.

===Wild Sonichu===
{{main|Wild Sonichu}}
[[Image:Wild parenting tips.jpg|thumb|left|Wild Sonichu, advising his one year old daughter on how best to mutilate a man's genitals.]]

The green recolor and a sort of leader to the group. Wild also partially rips off Spider-Man. He was apparently raised by a clan of weird ninja Scythers and a Venusaur. Once his father was kidnapped, he forgot all about him.

Later in life he became another member of the Great Director's private army and he served as another footsoldier in the many battles against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and PVCC. During the middle of all this dumbfuckery, he attended a Dating Education class and got paired up with a mindless twit named [[Simonla Rosechu]]. Simonla was later killed, but fortunately for Wild, the [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]] which resulted from all sex he had with her [[Chris and art#Originality|looked almost exactly like Simonla in every single way]].

===Bubbles Rosechu===
{{main|Bubbles Rosechu}}
[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg|thumb|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]

The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[Niggos|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.

Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.

===Angelica Rosechu===
{{main|Angelica}}
[[Image:271-Angelica.jpg|thumb|left|Angelica, the embodiment of the Antichrist.]]

A white recolor. Angelica Rosechu was made to be a religious type, specifically a Catholic. Her backstory explains that she was taken in by a convent of nuns, who raised her to be a devout member of the Faith and named her Angelica after her resemblance to the biblical angels - despite this, Angelica grew up to be a filthy whore and a violent mercenary of [[CWCville]]. She evolved one night in her sleep. Chris, who somehow knew exactly where she was and when she would evolve, broke into her house to give her shoes and a scrunchie, which he left on her bed for her to find when she woke up.

Despite being billed as a pacifist and a peacemanker, she later became heavily entrenched in Christian's war against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]], and may very well have killed several people in the battle. This is pure speculation however. What isn't speculation though, was that she did, in fact, ''personally execute'' [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] - after reading him the last rites of course, [[Chris and religion|which Catholic laymen are not permitted to do]]. She charitably remarked 'May God have mercy' while doing so. This may indicate that on some level she knows that what she is doing is wrong, but it's likely that she was referring to Alec, because like Chris, she also has a huge [[ego]], and genuinely believes that people should be killed for making [[parody]] webcomics. Like Bubbles, she is also a slut. She put out for Reginald Sneasel on the first date and she has been known to [[Media:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|do things in church that would make Jesus himself cry.]]

===Punchy Sonichu===
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}

[[Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy, the Asian one.]]
The red one, Punchy is not even a recolour; he's just Knuckles the Echidna who is already red. The only difference between them is that Punchy is far more retarded and has racist looking slanty eyes.

Punchy was born in a dojo somewhere after his egg crash landed there. Immediately after hatching, he was challenged to a sparring match by the dojo owner's daughter and student, Mypoe, who [[Dragon Ball Z|ripped off his tail since it was a weakness]]. He then punched her through the roof to her presumed death. [[Excel Saga|G.D.W. Shinabe]], delighted at the murder of his daughter, decides to teach Punchy martial arts. This training was wasted on Punchy however, who just ended up using [[pokémon]] attacks for the rest of his life. Punchy later got caught up with the rest of the gang, and formed the Chaotic Combo with them. Shortly afterward, his master died under mysterious circumstances and he apparently inherited the dojo. Punchy then spent the rest of ''Sonichu'' fighting Jerkops and related enemies. He got a break from the routine in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], where he took the [[Dating Education]] courses to try and learn how best to hook up with Angelica. As it turned out, Angelica would have been easy, but due to circumstances, Punchy ended up with another whore named Layla Flaaffy. Since [[Women's rights|all women are the same in Sonichu]], Punchy just rolled with it and had sex with her anyway. He later also participated in the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] executions.

===Magi-Chan Sonichu===
{{main|Magi-Chan}}
[[Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|thumb|left|When you turn your back, he's going to stab you.]]

The purple recolor. Magi-Chan was born in a mysterious cave where, upon hatching, he was contacted by the Pokémon Mewtwo, who trained him with his powers. Upon evolving into Magi-Chan, he promptly let out a fart. His training complete, Mewtwo left him and Magi-Chan would go on join the Chaotic Combo. Despite his awesome powers, Wild Sonichu was chosen over Magi-Chan as leader of the Chaotic Combo. It would be Magi-Chan who would serve as the means to locate the Sonichu Balls from their locations, accidentally causing Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]]. He would also fight Silvana from time to time as he attempted to save her from Graduon. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he frees Chris from the Time Void, goes into the future to bring the cure for homosexuality back to the present, but starts suffering due to that, yammering something about a crisis only Chris could avoid, failing to find a man high off his ass and failing to stop Evan and Simonchu from killing Simonla.

=== Sonee and Rosey ===
{{main|Sonee & Rosey}}

The (irritating) baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], who appear on the first page of [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. Technically, baby versions of Sonichu and Rosechu could never exist since they were created directly from a Pikachu and Raichu respectively, but that didn't stop Chris from creating them. They never made a canon appearance, but Chris recycled the designs for [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

===Scyther===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu. [[Chris and art|We think]].]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild told Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a failure to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".

===Venusaur===
{{main|Pokémon}}
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.

===Swampert===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to an end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

=== Boulder-Dropping Whale ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Boulder Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
[[Image:Wailord.png|200px|thumb|An actual Wailord.]]
Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated in the same blog that Boulder-Dropping Whale was in fact a Wailord, that he had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== Nuns ===
[[Image:Schununs.jpg|thumb|"The Lord has sent us an egg, sister. Tonight, we'll have omelets"]]
The two nuns that raised [[Angelica]], even though ''real'' nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica, they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words ''bless'' and ''Lord'' frequently.

In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from. Chris stated in the [[videobooks]] that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, ''and'' they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.

===G.D.W. Shinabe===
[[Image:Shinabe.jpg|thumb|left|Let it never be said Chris has no respect for [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]. He at least advertises the stuff he rips off.]]
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris's many horrible ''[[Excel Saga]]'' references. The anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', a follow-up project to ''Excel Saga''.

In ''Sonichu'', Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts [[Punchy Sonichu]] and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for ''Great Director Watanabe'', a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.

If Christian's "Sonichu" article on [[CWCipedia]] is to be taken as canon, then Shinabe was murdered by an ex student seeking revenge for some reason ''during the middle of Punchy giving Chris a tour of the dojo''.

=== Mypoe ===
[[Image:Schumypoe.jpg|120px|thumb|A classic example of fanservice in ''Sonichu'']]
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of ''Puni Puni Poemy'', depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble [[Excel Saga|Excel]] instead. Despite this, Chris claims that the [[lie|two characters are not related]].<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.284:11_to_6:01.29</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged [[Punchy Sonichu]] to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a ''weak point'', and should be removed (a concept stolen from [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the dojo, through the roof. Unfazed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.

Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the [[trolls|fans]]. She has a special place in their hearts due to being the only character that tried to put a Sonee out of its miserable existence shortly after birth.

=== Mewtwo ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Mewtwo.PNG|thumb|left|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris's idiocy.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers.

Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this though, much like all of the other sideplots [[Chris and his Ego|not involving him]], it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that Reldnahc had a Mewtwo in his Pokémon team. Since in Pokémon lore there is only one Mewtwo, it can be assumed that this is the same one.

===Flame the Sunbird===
{{main|Flame the Sunbird}}

Shameless ripoff of Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie who seems to be in dire need of pants. Flame is the guardian of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokémon, yet he readily uses Pokémon attacks, such as Drill Peck.

===Black Manajerk===
{{main|B-Manajerk}}

[[Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|thumb|100px|Black Manajerk, the badass.]]
Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his [[Love Quest]] at [[Mal-Wart]], kitted out with a suit of golden armour. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic]], confront Chris after the [[Jerkhief]] tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with [[Mecha-Jerkops]], and Chris is aided by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his [[Medallion]]. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention after Chris was sucked into the [[Time Void]].

[[Chris and race|And yes, the 'B' in B-Manajerk does stand for Black]].

===Merried Seinor Comic===
{{main|Merried Seinor Comic}}

Companion of [[B-Manajerk]], Merried Seinor Comic, also known as Kirby, is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonald's in which Chris was loitering that day. In ''Sonichu'', he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, Darkbind Sonichu arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.

===Wal-Mart Manajerk===
{{main|W-M-Manajerk}}

[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Truly an inspiration to us all.]]
The ruler of the [[Mal-Wart]] region, W-M-Manajerk confronts Chris shortly after B-Manajerk and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other [[Manajerks]], W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his [[Medallion]] with the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his "dream sibling", [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.

Particularly worrying was that according to dialogue, Chris and Crystal were surprised to learn he could survive in just his head form after they removed it from his body, implying that they had intended to murder the helpless man.

===Darkbind Sonichu===
{{main|Darkbind Sonichu}}

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|right|Dear Lord, he's even [[gay]]er than [[Magi-Chan]]!]]
Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the Manajerks at the Mal-Wart region, but leaves just before the [[W-M-Manajerk]] shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.

Darkbind would later return to repel [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s invasion of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] to re-awaken his beloved [[Zelina Rosechu]]. He finally achieves this in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and then starts crying.

===Mecha-Jerkops===
{{main|Mecha-Jerkops}}

Mechanical [[Jerkops]] used by the Manajerks to forcibly eject Chris from the Mal-Wart Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops. One wonders what was the point was when actual Jerkops are far more capable and numerous.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
=== Crystal Weston Chandler ===
{{main|Crystal Weston Chandler (character)}}

Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris with the exception of being a female, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she can become a Rosechu - Crystalina Rosechu - through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought. Chris makes [[Chris and Sex#Incest|numerous remarks about her beauty]].

=== Snorlax ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Snorlax]] who briefly appeared in Christian's 'Backyard Safari' [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops]].

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

=== ScotPalazzo ===
{{main|ScotPalazzo}}

ScotPalazzo is the [[Manajerk]] of Fa-Square, from the Sho-Mall Region. He is based on the manager who called the [[Jerkhief]] on Chris in real life, though he did not appear in ''Sonichu'' until Sub-Episode 6, where he for some reason became jealous that Chris had his own TV show; CWC's Backyard Safari. He decided once he was done watching it to order more Jerkops after Chris, since he was once again persisting to [[Love Quest|solicit sex in a public place]] and was still [[Story of my current days|resisting arrest]]. Or at least, that would be the [[Honest|truthful]] reason. In ''Sonichu'', however, it's because he hates love, since it caused his mother's murder suicide somehow. It's likely that the real ScotPalazzo's mother did no such thing, but Chris for some reason thinks that [[Trolls|anyone who dislikes him]] at all must have terrible and tragic lives, since [[Chris and his ego|only people with no life could ever possibly hate Chris]]! That said, ScotPalazzo is probably the only villain in Sonichu, at least until [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], to have any kind of motivation, so no one's complaining. ScotPalazzo also attended Mary's villain convention after Chris was lost to the [[Time Void]].

=== Turdijerk ===
{{main|Turdijerk}}

Turdijerk is the Manajerk of the [[Get-Tar]] region. He appears in Sub-Episode 7, where he tells Chris to get out of his store because he is loitering on private property again and scaring off his customers. Unlike with previous cases where he has provoked Manajerks into a fight, this time Chris just attacked them outright after they asked him to leave. Not caring for being assaulted by loitering manchildren, Turdijerk calls [[Bagget|Marcus Bagget]] to come and deal with the potentially dangerous Chris before he attacks any more of his employees. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention.

=== Trebor Capman ===
{{main|Trebor Capman}}

Turdijerk's assistant and the second victim of Christian's unwarranted attack on the store manager. It can be assumed that his real name is Robert, given Chris's legendary love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]]. He was also present at the villain convention with his boss Turdijerk.

=== Marcus Bagget ===
{{main|Bagget}}
Yet another one of Chris's [[Sub-Episode]] characters of the week, '''Bagget''' (later ret-conned to '''Dagget''') is the leader of a group of [[Jerkop]]s in the [[Get-Tar Region]]. His efforts are supplemented by [[Crackder]] and a [[Jerkhief]]. Bagget and the Jerkops arrive shortly after Trebor Capman and Turdijerk attempt to make Chris leave a Target he had singled out as an [[Attraction Location]], but Chris refused to go. Thus, Bagget fought Chris personally using his sword, but the battle was fought to a standstill with Chris transforming into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], forcing Bagget to call in his Jerkop squad for assistance. After the Jerkhief gave Chris a wicked carpet burn and 'hog-timed' him, Bagget ordered Crackder to take the now-restrained manchild to [[PVCC]].

Unusually, Bagget never gets any form of punishment from Chris as a result of this, and disappears from the comic, only reappearing as a cameo among the council of enemies at PVCC in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. It is unknown exactly what role he played in the battle between Chris and the Chaotic Combo vs. PVCC.

Ironically, the real '''Marcus Bagett''' that Bagget is based on has received multiple awards for his heroism.

=== Crackder ===
{{main|Crackder}}

{{Incomplete}}

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===William Spicer===
The husband of Sarah Hammer. Because Chris had no clue as to what William actually looked like, Chris depicted him as a Jack's Knight, a card from the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card game franchise.

===Megan Schroeder (Meg-Chan)/Sailor Megtune===
{{main|Megan Schroeder|Sailor Megtune}}
Chris's second love interest. Based off of the actual Megan Schroeder, she moonlights as a Sailor Senshi, devoted to aiding Chris whenever he can't get off his own fat rear to do so. Despite having a very central role when she first appears, she is quickly erased from the series after her real-life counterpart gives Chris the boot in the aftermath of his ED discovery.

===Megagi La Skunk===
{{main|Megagi La Skunk}}
Megan's skunk companion. Starting out as a butch, tomboyish character with more personality than the rest of the Rosechus, her distinct nature rapidly corrodes as she gains a boyfriend in Bionic, devolving into a bland feminine cheerleader by Issue 9.

===Harriet, Joseph, Julia, Nick===
Couples harassed by Jerkops.

===Jamsta Sonichu===
{{main|Jamsta Sonichu}}

DJ for KCWC and one of the few Sonichus shown that weren't created by the Chaotic Rainbow. He has no obvious powers and speaks in outdated slang. Interestingly, Jamsta's the actual ORIGINAL Sonichu, yet he wasn't discovered and named until later, giving Sonichu all the credit.

===CWCVille Constable===
One of the few non-Jerkops in CWCVille.

===CADD Chef (alias Keneru-Meneth)===
{{main|CADD Chef}}

Another one of Slaweel's minions who does nothing but complain about building designs. The character is based off of Chris's Computer-Aided Drafting and Design and the South Park character Chef. Why Chris chose to combine these two concepts is known only to him.

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==

===Patti-Chan===
{{Main|Patti Chandler|Patti-Chan}}

Chris's beloved dog. Following her real-life death, in the comics, a combination of eating a four-leaf clover and moonbeams transformed Patti into Patti-Chan. Realizing what had happened, Chris brought his dog to CWCVille so it can live on forever. She uses her magic to protect the Mayor's office in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], then kills Alec in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] because "she's not a zombie."

===Allison Amber===
{{main|Allison Amber}}

Chris's mayoral secretary. Once a prominent Hollywood star, she bafflingly gave up the fame and fortune to work in the CWCVille Mayor's office. She essentially performs the entirety of the mayoral work in lieu of Chris while he traipses around murdering people and finding true love. When Chris became trapped in the Time Void, it was indicated that she had overtaken all of his duties until his return - presumably this made very little difference to Allison's schedule. In ''Sonichu'' #10, she rather harshly kills Sean for his promiscuous depiction of her in ''Moon-Pals''.

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of teenager-aimed Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the "inspiration" of Blake. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' solo album.

===Zelina Rosechu===
{{main|Zelina Rosechu}}

Darkbind Sonichu's love interest. She is put under a spell through the locked power of the Sonichu Crystals prior to the start of the series. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], she is awakened to much fanfare and is unsurprisingly revealed to be as unimportant and devoid of personality as all the other Rosechus.

===Clawdorf===
{{main|Clawdorf}}

Darkbind Sonichu's deadly foe. After putting Zelina into a deep sleep, he is accidentally [[Yawning Squirtle|turned into stone]] and left in a cave. He is presumed freed by Ultra Sonichu.

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Bionic the Hedgehog}}

Chris's first creation before Sonichu came into play. Thought up of after getting smacked with a Sonichu Crystal (later altered to be a basketball), Bionic became Chris's first creation. He would go into obscurity until Naitsirhc arrived on the scene, knocking out the villain with a basketball. He would soon fall in love with Megagi and go and aid Chris in his adventures, culminating in Bionic electrocuting Alec.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
 

===Sammy===
{{main|Sammy}}

A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical ''[[Family Guy]]'' style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate representation of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
 

===Skelevision and Ghost Buggy===
{{main|Ghostbusters}}

Items used by the Filmation Ghostbusters in their adventures. Sammy busts through them in his "Family Guy Skitch" in his confused state.

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Andes}}

One of Chris's old classmates and one of his old high school crushes. She appears in Episode 15, discovering Chris's nude picks and is revealed to have warned Rosechu in Episode 17. Interestingly, she is one of the few who ''doesn't'' get a retconned name change.

===Bender Bending Rodriguez===
{{main|Futurama}}

A lazy self-absorbed robot who gets his kicks off of robbing people, getting drunk and all around being lazy, especially with his friend Philip J. Fry. Doesn't ''that'' sound like someone we know. Bender is seen spiraling through the time stream as Chris, Sonichu and Magi-Chan travel on.

===Joseph Herring===
{{main|Joseph Herring}}

One of the many people affected by Slaweel's attacks, this pimply faced man, later renamed Joe Herr, is seen lamenting about the loss of his girlfriend. The character is based off of a man by the same name who actually looked pretty decent.

===Beavis and Butt-Head===
{{main|Beavis and Butt-Head}}

MTV's legendary icons for all things 1990, Beavis and Butt-Head were two idiotic teens who got their kicks through destruction, pervert antics and all around being complete and utter idiots. And America ''mostly'' loved them. They show up in Episode 16 slamming a locker door, mimicking a scene from one of their shorts.

===Janekops===
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]

Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform mentally retarded people into new Jerkops. From this it can be inferred that any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Breasted Jerkops would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

===Jason Kendrick Howell===
{{main|Jason Kendrick Howell}}

The head of 4-cent_garbage, Jason Kendrick Howell is the bald-headed, eye-patch wearing cause of Chris's torment in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Based off of the person by the same name whom Chris believes put up the Chris-Chan ED page, Jason is shown as apathetic to Sonichu's pleas before he launches a pickle at Rosechu, causing her to transform into the [[Incredible Lioness]] and face rape him. He would return in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only to decide he was going to retire from trolling Chris because tormenting him is WRONG.

===Kathleen===
{{main|Kathleen}}

Kathleen is Jason's "woman slave", seen wearing an odd BDSM outfit and in a crawling position. She stays ever faithful by Jason's side throughout the whole thing. She is based off the woman by the same name, who was Jason's girlfriend at the time.

===Blanca===
{{main|Blanca}}

The first of many troll gal-pals to appear in the comics. Blanca was the creator of Jiggliami and was present at the interview with Jamsta. In issue 8, however, it's revealed that she went back to Kentucky to be with her boyfriend.

===Jiggliami===
{{main|Jiggliami}}

Blanca's creation, an odd fusion of Amy Rose and a Jigglypuff. She is a songstress who's seeking to become popular. She appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] with an interview with Jamsta and in a Spring Break concert in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], helping the Chaotic Combo before inexplicably disappearing forever.

===Lolisa Rosechu===
{{main|Lolisa Rosechu}}

Jamsta's assistant on his radio show. Oddly, she is also the oldest Rosechu of the bunch, but because this is Chris's comic, she is conveniently shoved aside so that Rosechu is the first, thus named after her.

===Robert Simmons V===
{{main|Robert Simmons V}}

Another troll who made his way into the comic as a major fan of the comics. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he appears at Jiggliami's interview. However, after Chris learned the truth of the man, he retconned it in his [[Videobooks]] by saying he was arrested for getting too close to Chris.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

===Lovey and Thurston Howell III===
{{main|Lovey Howell|Thurston Howell III}}
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the elitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

===Beel===
{{main|Beel}}

The secretary at 4-cent_garbage, he is a devil-like creature with the [[homos|gayest]] pants ever. He shows up briefly in Episode 17, but is more prominently shown in Episode 21, stealing Chris's medallion, before having it teleported away, then blasted to kingdom come. He returns just in time to berate Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus over their trolling of Chris (comparing it to working with Adolf Hitler) before disappearing.

===4-cent_garbage.com employees===
{{main|4-cent_garbage}}

The workers of 4-cent_garbage building. Chris reappears to briefly sock one of them in the face. In Episode 21, Chris returns fully and destroys the building, killing about a hundred of the employees.

===George W. Bush===
{{main|George W. Bush}}

42nd President of the United States and son of the 40th President, George H. W. Bush, he saw his highs of popularity from the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 attacks]] plummet after he initiated the War in Iraq. He is depicted in the elevator gag tipping over his successor off his ladder.

===Barack Obama===
{{main|Barack Obama}}

43rd President of the United States and first [[niggo|African-American president]]. Obama is depicted in the elevator gag attempting to paint the White House black, but is stopped by Bush.

===John McCain===
{{main|John McCain}}

Obama's opponent in the 2008 elections and former US Senator. He yells at Obama for painting the White House black.

===Hilary Clinton===
{{main|Hillary Clinton}}

New York Senator, former First Lady to 41st President Bill Clinton and one of five potential candidates in the Democratic nominee for President. She's present as Obama paints the White House.

===Sarah Palin===
{{main|Sarah Palin}}

Former Alaskan governor, John McCain's running mate and all-around gullible bag of bricks. This "bulldog with lipstick" was present as Obama painted the White House.

===Simonla Rosechu===
{{main|Simonla Rosechu}}

Wild Sonichu's fuck toy, Simonla Rosechu is the unholy monstrosity created when Chris took Simonchu Sonichu, a creation by [[Evan]] (who in turned based it off of Simon the Digger of ''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'') and gave it breasts and china. Simonla first appears when she joins the other Rosechus in "stripping for [[Women's Rights]], introducing her friend Zapina. She's later paired up with Wild in Dating Education before aiding said Sonichu in defending CWCVille from Slaweel's attack. However, Simonla would meet her demise by a Voltorb blowing itself up, killing her ''on the toilet''.

===Zapina Rosechu===
{{main|Zapina Rosechu}}

A young (under-age) Rosechu who's friends with Simonla. She first appears trying to join some of the other Rosechus in stripping publicly for Women's Rights, but Rosechu shoots down that idea because of the "dumb" child pornography laws. She is later seen defending CWCVille from Slaweel and her minions.

===Greta Squall===
[[File:Greta.PNG|thumb|There are blind five-year-olds who can draw better human figures. With their feet.]]
News anchor for "[[Excel Saga|FQX]] News", obviously a parody of Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren. Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.

===Silvana Rosechu===
{{main|Silvana Rosechu}}

Another missing Rosechu, she was found on [[The Motherfucking Moon]] by Count Graduon and turned evil, giving her shapeshifting powers and a [[duck|penis]]. She appears in Episode 18, fucking Blake disguised as Bubbles before being driven off. She appears again in Episode 20, fighting Magi-Chan and appears one last time, disguising herself as a malformed Meg Griffin. According to Chris, Silvana would lose her powers and her dick when Graduon's staff was shattered and she would soon fall in love with Magi-Chan.

===Yawning Squirtle===
{{main|Yawning Squirtle}}

A Squirtle that is seen yawning and given a very stoned look. Many trolls took it that the Squirtle was actually high off of weed and ran with it. In retaliation, Chris mentioned that this Squirtle was actually an old friend of Bubbles and that it was also captured and not shot to the moon.

===Sea Pokémon===

Comprised of [[Mudkips]], [[Seadra]], [[Goldeen]], [[Staryu]], [[Corsola]], [[Octillery]], [[Mantine]], and [[Corphish]]. Note that Mudkip are found in swamps, not the ocean.

===Optimus Prime===
{{main|Optimus Prime}}

Supreme Commander of the Autobots and hero of the Transformers franchise. He is considered to be one of Chris's idols. However, he is depicted in Issue 8 as a grand hero (or a murderer, however you want to look at it), killing Decepticon spy Sarah Jackson.

===Sarah Jackson===
{{main|Sarah Jackson}}

One of Chris's sweethearts and Decepticon spy. She is given a memorial by depicting the heroic Optimus Prime running down her truck in his truck form.

===Sarah Cassandra McKenzie (aka Panda Halo)===
{{main|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda Halo}}

The third of Chris's gal-pals. She is given a shout out in Issue 8, only to be depicted dying in an a fire in Issue 9, mirroring her real-life "demise" which Chris concocted with no impetus.

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==

===Sarah Jackaras===

Sarah Jackson's second comic persona. She is depicted as a teacher for Chris's demented Dating Education class. At the end of the episode, her sister nonchalantly announces her death before handing out test scores.

===George Philip===

A kid in Dating Education. He resembles Kenny from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Layla Flaaffy===
{{main|Layla Flaaffy}}

Ivy's companion, who does not even vaguely resemble a Flaaffy. She ends up hooking up with Punchy in Episode 19 and is shown one last time blasting away a bunch of Jerkops with a Thunder attack in Episode 20.

===Ivy===
{{main|Ivy}}

The last of the real-life sweethearts to show up in the ''Sonichu'' comics (excluding the specials) thus far. She ends up having a vision where God and Jesus tell her that she is to be Chris's one true love. Irrespective of this, she is strangled by elevator wire in Episode 20.

===Reginald Sneasel===
{{main|Reginald Sneasel}}

Chris's Mary Sue character that fills in for him while he is still trapped in the Time Void. He despises [[Niggo|darkies]] and attempts to break up Punchy and Layla only for Angelica to feel sorry for him and be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].

===God/Jesus===
{{main|God/Jesus}}

Our Creator and our Lord and Savior. They appear in a vision to let Ivy know that she and Chris were meant to be. However, since Ivy dies in the next episode, it's hard not to imagine they were trolling the two in the process.

===Florance Fisher===
[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg|100px|thumb|Florance Fisher]]

One of the few [[Niggos|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil, although she is extremely peripheral. She is rejected by Reginald Sneasel, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

===Rita Jackaras===

Sarah's sister. She replaces Sarah after offhandedly revealing she died somehow during the students' lunch break, then begins handing out test scores. Judging by her [[Speech impediment|odd speech patterns]], she may be [[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]].

===Other students===

Comprised of:
*Amy Testa
*Clem Jennings
*Geraldine
*Fred Shiflet
*Emily Ryan
*Unnamed computer-lab attendant
*Clyde Raymond Cwash- Scored the lowest on the dating test. Possible stab at [[Clyde Cash]], even though in real life<ref>Or at least in what Chris [[Chris and reality|believes is real life]]</ref> he not only succeeded in two tasks Chris has so far failed - [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo|getting married and having a child]] - but also achieved those goals using [[Chris and sex#Rape|extremely Chris-like methods]].

===Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels===
{{main|Scoundrals As Vessels}}

Evil PVCC Decepticons, they're mass produced and act as heavy-duty attackers. Repaint of Swindle from ''Transformers Animated''

===Samurai Pizza Bots===
{{main|Samurai Pizza Bots}}

CWCVille's main machine protectors and obvious Autobot rejects. This team is comprised of:
*[[Prower]] - Punchy's motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from ''Transformers Animated''
*[[Son-Chu]] - a depiction of Chris's real-life car with a "SONICHU" vanity plate
*[[Bumble-Lumba]] - recolor of Bumblebee from ''Transformers Animated''. Also a pizza delivery car.
*[[Excelina]] - recolor of R.C. from ''Revenge of the Fallen''.
*[[Armoraxe]] - recolor of Sound Wave from ''Transformers Animated''. Even has a guitar as a weapon.

===Blazebob Sonichu and Chloe Rosechu===
{{main|Blazebob Sonichu|Chloe Rosechu}}

Both were created by [[PandaHalo]].<ref>From the CWCipedia "Sonichu" page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" ''"Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."''</ref> They are saved by Panda before her gruesome death and start bawling at her death before a firefighter tells them to move their asses.

===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The ''Sonichu'' variation of Liquid Chris. This ground-type Sonichu is easily curb-stomped by Sonichu before he can really get the chance to attack. It's said that Liquid's medallion was made out of paper.

===Cerah, Christine, and Robbie===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Children}}

The demonic spawn of Sonichu and Rosechu. Robbie is known for his screechy voice and [[speech impediment]], Christine is known for being [[Chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] and "shiny" (read: not really Sonichu's), and Cerah is known for absolutely nothing at all. All are equally abominable in the eyes of the Lord. These three simply show up at the end of the comic with only one extremely minor mention prior to then, and their births have never been shown. It is extremely likely that these three were created in response to trolls pointing out that Sonichu and Rosechu were having premarital underage sex. They feature all too heavily subsequent to their sudden introduction.

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==

===Bugs Bunny===
[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Bugs, enjoying what appears to be a joint.]]

A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

===Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez===
[[Image:geraldandlouie.JPG|thumb|Constables Gerald (left) and Louis, with firm friend Sonichu.]]

Two of [[CWCville]]'s policemen (true blue, not [[Jerkops]]) who show up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]]. Despite this being their first appearance, they are shown as good friends of [[Sonichu]].

Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]].

Louis is the [[Niggos|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".

It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.

===The Asperpedia Four===
[[Image:Maoalecevansean.jpg|thumb|The Asperpedia Four on trial. (clockwise from the top: Mao, Alec, Evan, Sean)]]

The main users of the Asperpedia. They are arrested and executed by Chris and the others for their roles in the death of Simonla. The four are:

*[[Alec Benson Leary]] - the creator of Asperchu. Is attacked off screen by the pseudo Chaotic Combo and Mitch Sonichu for "giving them Asperger's and drawing them SOOOO horribly." Is electrocuted by Chris and the Chaotic Combo.
*[[Evan]] - Simonchu's creator. Is castrated and drilled to death by Sandy and Wild.
*[[Sean August Watley]] - Creator of Moon-Pals. Is shot to death by Allison, Bill the Scientist, and Kel.
*[[Asperpedia|Mao]] - Asperpedia admin. Is [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|broken]] and killed by Chris.

Chris would, in an attempt to appear like a less psychotic human being, make a new ending for Sonichu 10, wherein the four are condemned to live in a Amish community for the rest of their lives, which results in them becoming a bunch of [[slow-in-the-minds]] who spew [[random-access humor]].

===Sackboy===
{{main|Little Big Planet}}

The mascot and main character of the ''Little Big Planet'' game franchise. He appears in issue 10 to tell readers not to buy unauthorized copies of ''LBP'' for the [[Hex Box]].

===Jimmy Hill===
{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

Famed former soccer player turned commentator who was used as part of a trolling scheme against Chris. He is depicted in Issue 10 getting his teeth knocked out by Chris-Chan Sonichu's Hyper Beam before being scolded by Bugs Bunny.

===Clyde Cash===
{{main|Clyde Cash}}

Infamous troll who helped inspire many others. In actuality, Clyde's first appearance was in ''[[Sonichu Special 1]]'', capturing Ivy and trying to kill both Chris and Ivy when they escape. In issue 10, he's depicted as a panicking man as the 4-cent_garbage building began falling. Unwilling to let Chris kill him, he takes the hand of his lover, Jack Thaddeus, and leap to his death.

===Jack Thaddeus===
{{main|Jack Thaddeus}}

Person who owned the ads at the CWCkipedia and forced Chris to hump his [[PS3|Life Upgrade]]. He is depicted as another panicking man in the 4-cent_garbage building. He joins his lover, Clyde Cash, in leaping to their deaths, unwilling to let Chris have his victory.

===Meg Griffin===
{{main|Meg Griffin}}

Middle child of the fictional Griffin family, usually depicted as being ignored and ridiculed by her family and just about everyone else. In Issue 10, she was a disguise by Silvana, who appeared, told Chris how awesome he was, shared a kiss with him, then disappeared. Worst troll ever.

===Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu===
{{main|Asperchu}}

Star of Alec Benson Leary's comic of the same name. When Ultra Sonichu appears, he takes away his personality and Asperger's and transforms him into Mitch Sonichu (and Chris expected Alec to follow suit).

===Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)===
{{main|Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)}}

Formerly the Asperchu versions of Sonichu, Punchy, Bubbles, Angelica, Wild and Magi-Chan. Ultra Sonichu appears and removes their "Asperger's" (despite none of them actually having the condition) and gives them new identities of Michael Sonichu, Bobby Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Trisha Rosechu, Whisp Sonichu and Swift Sonichu.

===Metal Asperchu===

A robot Asperchu created to find and collect the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]]. Is destroyed by the pseudo Chaotic Combo.

===Basement Rosechus===
{{main|Basement Rosechus}}

A group of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris portrayed them as being raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.

===Inos===
{{main|Inos}}

A homeless man discovered by Ultra Sonichu. To his horror, Inos is discovered with a five year cold and under the influence of weed. Ultra Sonichu steals his weed away then has the police slap his wrist. He later reappears during the Christmas special to compliment [[Blake]] and wish him a Happy Kwanzaa, but Blake responds with anger and some subdued [[racism]]. Blake attempts to attack Inos, but [[Bubbles]] tells him to 'stand down'.

===Simonchu===
{{main|Simonchu}}
[[File:SimonlaSimonchuHaiti.JPG|150px|thumb|right|Simonchu (right) and [[Simonla Rosechu|his infringed counterpart]].]]
The main hero of [[Evan]]'s Simonchu comics and Wild's lover in Asperchu. He attempts to kill his evil clone Simonla, but is stopped by Magi-Chan.
{{-}}

===Toilet Exploding Voltorb===
[[Image:Toiletexplodingvoltorb.png|thumb|Simonla's killer.]]

The Pokémon that kills Simonla with Self-Destruct.

===Sandy Rosechu===
{{main|Sandy Rosechu}}

The bastard child of Wild and Simonla. She is forced to be evolved by Wild and is trained by different Pokémon just so she can ''tear Evan's genitals out''.

===Judge Slack Lewis===

The judge presiding the case of the Asperpedia Four. He has an obvious bias towards Chris and allows everything that goes on. He may or may not be a rip-off of [[wikipedia:Lewis Black|Lewis Black]], a comedian who would likely rage at Chris and the comic.

===Marvey Blaziken===

A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the Law|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.

===Spiny Norman===

An actual hedgehog, Chris shoehorned in an incredibly minor reference to an early ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' sketch on the page calling out [[Jimmy Hill]], presumably because Chris' only exposure to the British was the TV show.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==
===Kevin===
{{main|Kevin the Jew}}
An unseen friend of [[Cerah Rosey]]. Since he's Jewish, Cerah bakes him as a gift a candle-shaped cookie for Hanukkah, due to the candle-related symbolism in this holiday's rituals, despite the fact that a biscuit of any shape would have been accepted for such a celebration. Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply asking if he's allergic, she just assumes it.<ref>''[[Sonichu 11]]'', p. [:image:SchuComic11P4.jpg|4].</ref> Because Jews are sickly Melvins with many allergies, you see. He later appears for the first time in a visual role in Sonichu 11's adaptation of ''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]'', and heavily resembles a character from ''Peanuts''.

=="[[Sonichu Special 2]]"==

===Ching Chong===
[[Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|thumb|It is said that perfect wedding days can feel like sweet blissful happy blur for everybody. Ching Chong certainly feels that way, but not in the usual sense... ''she was told about "recycling".'']]

A small [[China|Chinese]] girl that Ivy tutored in [[Chris and art|art]]. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "[[Semen|Navy]]" while innocently browsing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website. Chris offered [[Chris and remorse|formal excuses]] to her in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log video]]. In the comic she appears as the flower girl. Chris seems to be completely unaware of the stereotypes said character's name brings along.

===Other Characters===
*[[Keino]] - Ivy's dad
*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs, who are ring bearers
*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
*[[Metal Gear Solid|Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of reptilian bakers
*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid
*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
*CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
*An unnamed [[My Little Pony]] character - pulls the chariot that Chris and Ivy ride in
*'''[[MEOW|Spas]]''' - a feline pianist
{{clear}}

==[[Sonichu Special 4]]==
===CChanSonichuCWC===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The real Christian Weston Chandler. Here, he is displayed as a knife-wielding madman who wants to cut up Kacey for... no apparent reason. Ian responds by disarming him, then blowing out his shins.

===Kacey===
{{main|Kacey}}
Girlfriend of the real Chris and damsel in distress in the comic.

===Megatron===
{{main|Megatron}}
Seeing as the comic already depicted Optimus Prime mowing down evil, it's only natural that his eternal nemesis and leader of the Decepticons Megatron strike fear into the hearts of those who do good. He aids Ian by shooting an unarmed Chris in the legs.

===Kacey's Family===
All are thankful to [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs. Her family is comprised of:
**[[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Fighter 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry.)
**Kacey's mother
**Kacey's brother
**Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "[[CChanSonichuCWC#Irony|geeky twerp]]"

==Sonichu characters not seen in the comics but otherwise mentioned by Chris==
Being an avant-garde writer with little regards to outdated conventions, Chris ignores the idea of "show don't tell" and often introduces entire plots and characters in his writings rather than in his drawings. Some of those characters include:

*A [[Pokémon#Pokémon not appearing within the comics|plethora of various Pokémon]].
*A bunch of merpeople populating the lost city of Atlantis. Virtually nothing is known about them other than that they are friends of [[Bubbles]].<ref name="Bub cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Bubbles_Rosechu Bubbles Rosechu]</ref>
*Terrah LeAnne Yowman, her sweetheart Tippanston Gowen, and the various unnamed students mentioned in [[The High School Story]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens#The_High_School_Story The High School Story] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref>
*A Pokémon Professor named [[Cole]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia. He examined Sonichu and Rosechu after they transformed into their current forms, and was also responsible for teleporting Rosechu to Kel when the latter was engaging in gym battles.<ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref>
*Grace Rosewell, the Reverend at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Sonichu, Rosechu and the Chaotic Combo attend her service every Sunday.<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>
*Fritz Richmond, a pastor at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Helped raise Angelica.<ref name="ang cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu Angelica Rosechu]</ref>
*An ex-student of Shinabe who kills his master in revenge for an unknown slight. Punchy kills in return with a punch and buries him behind Shinabe's Dojo.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />
*Three unnamed protectors of Parodyse Island - According to [[Megagi]]'s [[Animal Crossing]] card, she and three other unnamed individuals are the protectors of Parodyse Island.<ref>[[:File:315-ACMegagiBck.jpg]]</ref> Nothing further is known about them.
*Russel and Cynthia - In Facebook post from 21 May 2015, Chris describes how Chris-chan Sonichu's form has turned into a female one. While still being in his Chris-chan Sonichu form, Chris inseminates himself with a sample of his semen that he produced while still in his human form. Two weeks he laid two eggs, and three weeks afterwards a Sonee and Rosey hatched from them. Chris named the Sonee Russel and the Rosey Cynthia. They both respectively developed into a Sonichu and Rosechu later on, with Russel developing an interest in Britain and English culture and Cynthia developing an interest in her Cherokee roots and becoming a naturist. According to Chris they have no birth defects, not even their parent's autism.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref>

==Notes==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Lists]] [[Category:Characters]]

Obesity

2017-04-24T18:23:52Z

Acrylicpaint:

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|Look at his "slender" figure.]]]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|The Atkins Diet apparently didn't work on [[Barb]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}
{{Quote|I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>}}

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[USA]], with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fat: [[Chris]], [[Barbara]], and even [[Chandler Cats|their]] [[Clover and Snoopy|pets]].

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Furthermore, in his numerous dating profiles discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary[sic] gained weight, became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But [[Chris and reality|that's]] a whole other problem.

Further cementing his obesity, on [[October 2011|October 2nd, 2011]], Chris's voluptuous manboobs won an award on [https://web-beta.archive.org/web/20111102230501/http://www.manboobs.co.uk/submissions/manboob_of_the_month manboobs.co.uk].

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]

Chris believes that standing up without moving is a legitimate form of exercise, and as such considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays [[video games]]. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — his idea of jogging is actually sprinting. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos featuring his midsection from subsequent months, he either lied or wasted his money.

== Diet ==
[[File:Hypnosis for fatter ass.png|thumb|200px|After becoming a [[tomgirl]], Chris wanted to use [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] to magically transform his fat gut and ass into a woman's hourglass figure.]]
Another contribution to Chris' obesity is the food he eats. Chris' [[McDonald's|diet]] is appalling, consisting mainly of fast food and other unhealthy foodstuffs. While it would be acceptable if he treated himself to that stuff occasionally, there's no question that it's a staple of his diet. The sheer amount of calories he consumes, coupled with his laziness, means that he's carrying around enough extra mass to make another person. His diet will most likely also cause problems other than obesity.

In 2017, Chris decided that his ass wasn't fat enough, and began listening to a subliminal hypnosis track in the hopes of transferring his belly fat to his ass, as an attempt to obtain an hourglass figure.

== Actual weight claims ==
[[File:Burlesque1.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's weight in [[June 2015]].]]

Modern measurement of whether someone is overweight/obese generally employs the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_mass_index BMI] system, which creates an index based on the height and weight of an individual. This system is by no means perfect; the readings tend to be inaccurately high for people whose height is abnormally tall, and/or whose bodies are heavily set, because these people have more bone weight than others. However, it is a very accurate system when applied to people of average height and bone structure - which Chris is.

One of the two factors required to calculate BMI is height. Chris claims to be 5'10" (1.78 m),<ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref> which is possible, but even at this height, his BMI would never have been under the "overweight" bracket since he began to record it. Given how readily [[List of Chris's Lies|Chris lies to serve himself]], he may be shorter, which would render his BMI in the "obese" range. In a [[26_December_2014#Police_Scanner_Video|police scanner report]], he was described as being 5'9" (1.75 m). For the sake of simplicity, the BMI data listed below is based on his self-reported height.

* 20 July 2005 - In a [[Diary]] entry, Chris reported that his weight was '''180 pounds''' (about 80 kg) <ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]]</ref> meaning that during that time his BMI was 25.8, which is overweight.

* Fall 2009 - Chris told Kacey that his weight was somewhere between '''215 and 220 pounds''' (98-100 kg) <ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>, meaning his BMI was between 30.8 and 31.6, nudging him into the obese range.

* Fall 2009 - In a later conversation with Kacey, Chris said that at a recent doctor's visit he had weighed in at '''205 pounds''' (93 kg), down from 216 the last time he had been there.<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref>

* February 2010 - Chris claimed to weigh "'''about 200 [pounds]'''" (91 kg), and also admitted to having once weighed more than 220 pounds (100 kg). Even if we interpret the words "about 200" to mean 190, his BMI at the time would still be 27.3 i.e overweight, nearing obesity. He also claimed at this time that his goal was to get down to 180 pounds (82 kg).<ref>[[Mailbag 54#Fatty]]</ref>

* October 2010 - In the [[WeighIn|WeighIn video]], Chris claimed to weigh '''216 pounds''' (97 kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his apparent girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he did not fully stand on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity had caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point that he looked like he weighed more than 250 pounds, when actually he was just 216 pounds of pure fat. Even if we assume that he indeed weighed only 216 lbs at the time, this would still put his BMI at 31, making him '''obese'''.

* April 2012 - Chris announced on Facebook that he was "going down to '''223''' <nowiki>[101 kg]</nowiki> and falling."<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts]]</ref>

* July 2013 - Chris again posted to Facebook that he was "down to '''220'''" (~100 kg).<ref>[[July 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* October 2013 - Just three months later, Chris told Facebook that according to his doctor's visit he weighed '''211 pounds''' (96 kg), and had lost seven pounds since last he checked.<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* January 2014 - Chris asserted on Facebook that he weighed "'''about 202 pounds'''" (91 kg). While many would be quick to dismiss this solely on the basis that he eats at McDonald's regularly, at least one report shows that it can't be the sole factor, due to [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2533353/Forget-Super-Size-Me-Man-loses-37lbs-lowers-cholesterol-eating-McDonalds-three-months.html one individual actually ''losing weight'' on a pure McDonald's diet]. However, given the sheer deluge of fast/processed food Chris eats from other places, the non-existence of an exercise regimen, and the simple fact that his face is a lot fatter compared to previous photographs of him, this claim that he weighs 202 pounds is ''very'' dubious.<ref>[[January 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* October 2014 - Chris defensively told his friend Shaina that he weighed "'''around 200''' <nowiki>[91 kg]</nowiki>, give or take two or three."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref>

== Health ==
''Main article: [[Chris and health]]''

Obviously, all this has an adverse effect on Chris' health. Morbidly obese people are far more likely to develop diabetes, heart disease, and a number of other ailments. While it is admittedly possible to be fat '''and''' fit, Chris' lifestyle, combined with ample evidence of his lack of physical prowess, means that this does not apply to him.

== Denial ==
{{Quote|He's fat! Iiiiii'm thin!|Chris breaking out into chorus on [[Alec Benson Leary]]<ref>[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal]]</ref>}}
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has generally been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't overweight.<ref>[[White knight E-mails#September 2008 .E2.80.94 Chris denies being fat and sexist]]</ref> In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[homos|gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]],<ref>[[Masturbating_and_squirtin%27#Transcript of Chrisreply1evan.jpg|1st email to Evan]]</ref> during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks. However, this is unlikely as Chris has never "spent hours studying" anything.<ref> [[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|''Sonichu'' #7]] - "…I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like…"</ref>

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[Muscle bra|Manboobs]]
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Captain's Log

2017-04-23T22:12:59Z

Acrylicpaint:

[[File:CWCtrek1.png|center|450px]]
{{Quote|Real life: the final frontier. These are the fails of the lolcow Chris-Chan. His continuing Love Quest: to explore strange new Attraction Locations, to seek out new gal-pals, and new sweethearts; to boldly go where no high-functioning autistic virgin has gone before.}}
[[Image:Captain's Log.jpg|thumb|Ladies, set Tasers to stun.]]

"'''Captain's Log'''" was, for a while [[Chris]]'s usual opening to a video blog, first appearing in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|24 September 2008 video]]. It comes from popular sci-fi franchise ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]]''. In a typical episode, the captain, commander or other senior crew member would make an entry to log what has happened in the situation prior to the beginning of the episode. Most ''Star Trek'' Captain's Log entries are noticeably void of [[tard rage]].

Sometimes, Chris gave an incorrect date (though the date is technically always incorrect since he says "Stardate" and gives a Gregorian Calendar date), or failed to provide a date at all. An example of Chris giving an incorrect date would be many of the entries made in [[July 2009]]. The [[CWCki]] has organized the Captain's Log entries by the date they were uploaded.

Interestingly enough, Chris is not a Trekker/ie and has never seen any ''Star Trek'' media.<ref>[[Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 14]]</ref>. His usage of the phrase most likely comes from other shows that reference it, such as ''[[Family Guy]]'' and ''[[Futurama]]''.

He may have encountered the phrase from the ''Star Trek'' game he purchased as a result of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] competition, but knowing his gaming habits, he probably never played it.

In his later videos, Chris began to stop including it, and he had completely ceased to use it by [[2011]]. However, the opening made a glorious return on 18 July 2016 with [[Update 20160718]], only to be quickly and unceremoniously abandoned for nearly a year. Starting in [[April 2017]] with [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], Chris has begun referring to his YouTube livestreams as Captain's Logs, or [[CWC-isms|"C-Log"]] in the video titles. Of special note is [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]], wherein Chris wears [[Chris and fashion|his classic shirt]] and [[Sonichu Medallion]] and introduces the video as a Captain's Log. It seems that Chris is capitalizing on nostalgia for his older days to [[Chris and money#Begging|bait his own trolls into giving him money]].

==Characteristics==

Generally, a Captain's Log video is one in which Chris addresses his fanbase, a sort of video blog where he asks his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] to be his personal army or to express his hatred about some [[troll]].

This is in contrast to other styles of Chris videos, such as those where he addresses a specific individual (often expecting people to know he's posted a video about them, such as [[Michael Snyder]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]]) or his [[Chris and music|music videos]].

Occasionally, a video is [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|dead serious]], and therefore not worthy of a Captain's Log introduction.

==Captain's ''Blog''==
In [[November 2009]], Chris began [[CWC Blog|maintaining an irregular text blog]] on the [[CWCipedia]], featuring updates on the progress of his comic and his quest to turn [[Sonichu]] into the heart of a multimedia empire. He also dubbed this a "Captain's Log" and marked the successive entries with "Stardates". It could be found halfway down the right column of the site's front page (and also at [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Captain%27s_Log Template:Captain's Log], and he maintained [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Blog an archive] of his updates.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Captain's Log}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt

2017-04-23T22:06:26Z

Acrylicpaint:

'''Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt''' is a live-streamed video by Chris on 19 April 2017. It is notable for featuring him wearing [[Shirts|The Classic]] shirt, previously thought (by fans and Chris himself<ref>[[eBay]] comment: "I lost the shirt in the fire" http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&iid=191232666489&requested=jesusguidesme2&redirect=0&frm=2047675&ShowASQAlways=1&ssPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI</ref>) to have been lost to the [[Destruction of Chris's house|fire]] that gutted the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler family home]] three years prior.

This video marks the first time since [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|November, 2009]] that Chris has worn The Classic in a video. Chris also dons the [[Sonichu Medallion]] for the first time in years and refers to the video as a "[[Captain's Log]]", making good on [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017|his threat to bring back the Captain's Log series of videos]]. It seems that Chris, in a shocking and unexpected display of self-awareness, has begun preying on his own trolls' nostalgia for his simpler days in a desperate attempt to [[Financhu Crisis|extort money]] from them.

Among the revelations divulged in this video is that The Classic is actually a Ralph Lauren, and not a St. John's Bay polo as previously thought. However, [[List of Chris's lies|because this is Chris talking]], the information should be taken with a large grain of salt. In a demonstration of shade-throwing not seen since the [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call]], Chris tells us to "put that on your [[CWCki]]."

The opening bid for the shirt was originally set at $12,000. As of April 21st, 2017 the shirt has reached $25,100 with a total of 23 bids. On April 23rd, 2017 the shirt was sold for $25,100.

{{transcript}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v=XnOyhlA84dQ}}
| stardate = 19 April 2017
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| Saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[React to SNL 41-4 Darn Ol' Tramp 45#React part 2|React part 2]]
| next =
}}

===Transcript===

[''Start of the sentence is cut off'']

Once again and today we are, doin' another Captain's Log. And so yeah, Captain's Log: Stardate 04192017. We have resurrected this old antique.

[Does a slow twirl while speaking, stumbles halfway through, due to either the large volume of items surrounding or innate clumsiness]

The very same shirt that you've seen me wear in the comics. Uh, sh-showed in between these two.

[''Holds up issues of Sonichu'']

At least uh, to make it to prove my point.

[''Puts down comics and shuffles awkwardly'']

But we'll get to more details about this in just a mim- but right now, um- hng, cuz I'm gon' make ya'll wait till after I get any other remaining thoughts in my mind, out my mind. Uh so let me think.

[''Pauses'']

Right so uh first off uh, yes as I have stated in my Facebook posts uh, my PayPal is in the red because the customer bought the totem complained and Ebud- Ebay refunded, and I had already spent the money on the s- on the Skylanders shirts and the cards and the replacement necklace for my mother. As well as uh, payed two my bills. High b- high bills. And, our bank accounts are in the red. So, gotta make some more money. So, I gotta h- make the money back so I can ship the darn totem so he can be happy about it and I get that money back and I get my PayPal back into the black. Yeah, so I've dug up this old relic from, a months a back garbage bag's in the other room, yeah. (Sentence is very slurred)

[''High pitched sigh'']

I went through more than twenty bags this I stated in my Facebook post, and fortunately this was not in a bag that had the dirt and wall lining into it. No, this was just really really damp, it was in uh- sta- it was possibly close to the bottom of the uh- st- mountain of was clean laundry that was stacked in front of the dryer, before the fire, house fire 2014, January 2014. So, uh, anything- anything else in my mind, I'm thinking, um. Right, um, To show my faith, to show ya'll good faith I have-

[''Picks up Sonichu Transformer figures, packaging falls apart in the back, Chris appears dumbstruck for a moment'']

Well, I have made the uh, extra Sonichu figures, two of them right now. I end making- I guess I'll end up making more because, we're gonna sell more- we're selling more big- big money items, Yeah. No, and uh, for comparison, here I am with me and myself and I.

[''Holds up CWC Link Amiibos, almost dropping one'']

Because- get it where ya'll can see it.

[''Holds Amiibos closer to camera, adopts a sing song voice'']

Because we're all precious, so precious, very very precious, deedleedle oop!

[''Does loud mouth pop, puts figures down'']

Okay, um, shoot where'd I put my phone, oh here it is. I stepped on something.

[''Picks up phone'']

Okay, so I actually do have more details that I have about the shirt that I end up takin' a close look at the shirt tag cuz it got really bad faded. I betcha I could show ya'll the phot- the fresh to- photo I took of that.

[''Hold phone up to camera, showing a picture of the shirt tag'']

Look at how badly faded that tag came out, and that was the tag on the back of this shirt. Alright but fortunately I was able to look closely and further examine it, so I'll be posting this onto m- onto the Ebay page shortly. But right now I'm just gonna read to you as I have put it into my notepad. So alright so, this shirt first off I'm gonna state, is more than 14 years old. Because you know I had drawn it back in 2004, way back in 2004 on the very first book. And we had bought this sh- and my mom I, my family and I, we had bought this shirt, among other clothing in one of the Goodwills, I don't know which one. But, I have the final selling amount this thing, and we're hoping it's gonna be (???), uh, I mean bid if you're seriously gonna pay okay? And I want the pay- and I wanna be paid immediately after the listing ends, which should be some time on Fr- Friday, the 21st, alright? I'll put the list- I'll put the link to the listing down the s- link below. No tricks, only place a bid if you are seriously interested. And you are seriously, sincerely, gonna pay for this okay? This is the only one out there, you can even do a Google search for this same shirt from, the uh- from the brand name which I'm gonna tell ya'll. You won't be able to find it anywhere else, at least until I tell it to ya'll, alright?

[''Has trouble with phone'']

Come on, don't t- don't tell me I'm do typing, I didn't even do any typing. Okay, first off this shirt-

[''Does another twirl'']

Is a polo shirt, from Lalph- from Ralph Lauren. This shirt was made in the USA, it's 100% cotton. And it is a size L, Large. So you can put it on a little child and be bigger than them and be like-

[''Adopts extremely disturbing falsetto while smiling at the camera'']

Oh you'll grow into it!

[''Continues smiling and looks at phone for a moment'']

Anyway essentially that's that, this is a Ralph Lauren.

[''Puts phone down and immediately picks it back up'']

I mean you can even- I even- Actually, yeah I did an image search for a Ralph Lauren polo tag, and I can personally verify from- Between the faded icon, as you can see here I took the picture off my phone.

[''Holds phone up to camera, comparing photos of real Ralph Lauren tag with faded original tag'']

If I can get it to work. Yeah it matches this one that I found on the Internet, 'cept for that said M instead of L, which I can confirm that but anyway. It's definitely a Ralph Lauren.

[''Wipes finger grease off phone with the shirt now valued at 25 thousand dollars and steps back from camera'']

So put that on your- put that on your CWCki! So anyway, I guess that's about it for this week's Captain Log cuz I got- cuz I can't think of too many other things, my brain is knocked out. My brain is blank and, I definitely wouldn't have realized word of the day, Dementia. The umbrella term for all the mentally wearing down people, I got some dementia okay? So give me time, give me space, alright? And some slack.

[''Stares blankly into space'']

Anyways so, I guess that's it for this week's uh- Captain's Log. I hope we'll have more to talk about next week, have a good day.

== References ==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[React to SNL 41-4 Darn Ol' Tramp 45]]|}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2017]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris and fashion

2017-04-23T21:46:40Z

Acrylicpaint:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
[[File:GoodwillCville.jpg|thumb|200px|The [[Ruckersville]] Goodwill which Chris patronizes.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|The Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Prior to the [[Tomgirl Saga]], the majority of shirts he owned were colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts, most of which were decorated with horizontal stripes, making him look even [[Obesity|fatter]]. [[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one of these shirts (the "Advice Dog") was purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Though his mother didn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chose to wear these shirts. The advent of the [[Tomgirl Saga]] was accompanied by a change to garb that may have been more feminine, but was equally cheap and hideous.

== The Fashion Sense of Chris (Pre-Tomgirl)==
=== Childhood ===
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|200px|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polos, T-shirts, and khaki pants. The only difference compared to adulthood is that he sometimes dared to wear single-colored shirts with his favorite [[Sonic the Hedgehog|game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme was the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it did not look particularly good on him.

=== Trademark clothing ===
[[File:Classic post-fire 2.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|The Classic, pictured in [[April 2017]], after Chris recovered it from the hoard.]]
[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]

This is the original and most iconic look of Chris, the standard until mid-2011. It is a look immortalized in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] self-insertion. His outfit usually consisted of:
* His favorite shirt, a [[Chris and brand loyalty|St. John's Bay®]]<ref>In [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]], Chris claims the polo is actually a Ralph Lauren.</ref> Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which was so tight that it accentuated his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably drew himself wearing in the comics. Trolls came to call it the "clown shirt" or "The Classic." It was thought destroyed in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|2014 fire]] that gutted the Chandler house<ref>[[eBay]] comment: "I lost the shirt in the fire" http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&iid=191232666489&requested=jesusguidesme2&redirect=0&frm=2047675&ShowASQAlways=1&ssPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI</ref>, but later [[eBay#The Classic shirt|resurfaced for sale in 2017]], when Chris listed it for a minimum price of '''$12,000''' due to the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He had found it in a bag of damp, moldy clothes, wet from the water the firefighters had used to extinguish the flames when his house burned three years prior. He washed it, and then wore it for the first time in years when he uploaded [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]].
* His [[medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[pedo-glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically defined his rear end to a disturbing level — he may have been wearing women's jeans, or he may have been simply wearing pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]].
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when he's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|in the mood]] for [[recycling]], or when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for [[Chris and death|funerals]] or [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Starting in late [[2009]], a [[bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

===The "IBA" outfit===
[[File:The Chronicles Of Chris-Chan- They see me trollin, they laughin'... -7-17-09-.mp4 20140516 130015.190.jpg|thumb|The "IBA" outfit.]]
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made certain friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that was too small for his girth.

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clown shirts, and claimed that he had been pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video. However, on the same day he [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|shaved his beard]], he drew the first picture of [[Collosal Chan]], a character which preserved the look for all eternity.

===The "Gay Trucker" outfit===

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the medallion for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person. This included a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of, making it look somewhat like a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilet gilet].<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result was a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that when Chris tries to look like a bad boy, he ends up looking like a [[Truck Driver|gay trucker]], hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could have made it look gayer would have been by combining it with his muscle bra. Which, unfortunately, he did. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the medallion would have actually ''improved'' his chances of picking up [[gal-pals]].

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|with a non-prostitute]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly expressed Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that changed the Mountain Dew logo so it read "Mount and Do Me." Fans hoped that since this was a private video for a potential sweetheart, Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[bedroom]]. Alas, Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to Fridays After Five - a '''public, ''family-oriented''''' concert. He topped this by pulling that shirt over his head and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these unfunny, sexually-themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is available without ever having to talk to people, nor spend any effort in making a sign.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos in which he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts. The effect was interesting, bringing him closer to normality than he'd been in many years. He was still a pale, sweaty, balding, fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that put him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's T-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more--a Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], and a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

===The [[Carlos Chantor]] outfit===
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet. Too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com. It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.
{{clear}}

==Chris's Tomgirl Fashion Sense==
===Early Tomgirl Fashion===
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Saga}}

In [[April 2011]], a series of leaked pictures showed Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consisted of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - Note that piercing the right ear is traditionally code for [[Homos|homosexuality]]; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eye shadow
* Jeans
* Blue string top
* Black thong
* A silver ring (Note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge of [[F Abstinence|abstinence]] until [[Lovely Weather|marriage]])<ref>[[:File:TG6.jpg]] - Chris-Tran with his new silver ring</ref><ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/ silverringthing.com]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]
* A new head-band (as seen in the [[Facebook]] pictures)

[[File:TG10.jpg|thumb|left|Would you fuck me? [[It's not that cold|I'd fuck me]]. I'd fuck me HARD.]]

While not seen in the leaked images, Chris's posts in [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] revealed he also donned skirts and panties as part of his new look.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162 Re: Girly Things Tee Hee]</ref><ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315 Re: Mothers]</ref> In [[September 2011]], Chris was also photographed carrying a purse.

Chris was very happy with his new fashion choices, but friction with his parents made it difficult for him to wear makeup and women's clothing overtly. Sometimes he had to change after leaving the house or before returning (but he could always wear a bra and panties).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref>

[[File:Chris_at_a_gay_bar.jpg|thumb|left|A hemline this high leaves little to the imagination.]]

===Late Tomgirl Fashion===
[[File:CWC1214.png|thumb|150px|Chris in December 2014.]]
Chris continued to wear female clothing, albeit with some refinements over the course of the next couple years. Although he has long since dispensed with the clownish polo shirts and jeans, many characteristics of his tomgirl wardrobe are remarkably consistent with the way he dressed when he still wore men's clothing, especially in terms of color coordination and clothing size. He also remains committed to buying all his clothes from thrift stores, giving him the appearance of a dumpy bag lady. He summarized his style in [[November 2014]] as "colored leggings, denim skirts mini to knee length, bold colored shirts and blouses."<ref>[[Commissions#The Flufflehugs Commissions]]</ref> Some of the most frequent themes in his feminine fashion choices are:

* Clashing, violently-opposed colors (particularly red with blue or green)
* Clothing far too small for him
* Dresses or skirts with very high hems
* Leggings, to help with tucking
* Sports bras
* Omission of glasses, possibly due to contact lenses
* Big, floppy, church-lady hats
* Eye makeup, applied poorly and usually purple or blue in color

A deviation from this style was seen in the video of the [[26 December 2014]] incident, where Chris is shown in purple [[My Little Pony]] shades, (probably as a [[Honor roll|disguise]]); a silver headband, showing off his ever-receding [[hair|hairline]]; his Manchester High sweatshirt; short jeans matched with long, purple socks and/or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|another pair of pants]]; and boots (possibly Uggs).

The fact that Chris wore skirts and makeup for each of his court hearings in 2015, even those to which [[Barb]] accompanied him, suggests that he consistently dresses this way in public, and that his mother has come to grudgingly accept her son's transgender attire.

In 2015, Chris also started dying his hair blue, but predictably failed to do it properly, and ended up dying it an ugly, seaweed green instead. Combined with his wardrobe that manages to somehow simultaneously resemble the attire of a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|5 year old girl]] and a [[Barb|65 year old cat lady]], the resulting look has been sardonically referred to by Kiwis as "mermaid grandma".
{{clear}}

==Chris, on fashion==
In [[November 2016]], Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Women should wear skirts|posted]] a commentary on women's fashion.

In it, Chris implored women to wear skirts with leggings instead of pants, saying to "view it from [[Attraction Sign|a pervert's perception]]: they eye downward and have Good view of the in-between, as well as easier access to picture it in their imaginations from there. With a dress or skirt concealing the area, it is actually More difficult for the perv, and, thus, more difficult to picture and imagine what is or isn't at the [[China|groin area]]."

He also requested men to consider wearing kilts - stressing to wear pants underneath, saying, "NOBODY is impressed with that [[Pickle|bulge]]; moreover it is Absolutely Offensive," which indicates that Chris has shifted from [[Brassieres For Males|obsessing over men's chests]] to obsessing over their crotches.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is autistic, observers speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. During the events of the [[Liquid Saga]], Chris took a special interest in [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]]'s choice of a brown striped shirt, referring to Liquid as a "Brown-Striped Impostor"<ref>[[SingStar Challenge]]</ref> and fixating on Liquid's shirt as a symbol of his inauthenticity. In any case, Chris seems to regard his clothing as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

Like many of his lifestyle changes which occurred during the Tomgirl Saga, Chris's unceremonious abandonment of his classic shirts came as a surprise to trolls who had spent years speculating on Chris's clothing as a symbol of his identity, and his usual resistance to change as a symptom of his autism. However, even in retrospect, Chris seems to hold the clothes he used to wear in very high regard as a symbol of his identity and legacy, as shown when he listed "The Classic" on eBay for a whopping $12,000. Writing after the end of the auction, Chris felt the need to commemorate the occasion with some words:<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Barb borrowed from life insurance]]</ref>

{{Quote|1=Yes, the shirt's auction has ended high, but I am still awaiting payment from the mother of one of my fans, who, unless remains anonymous, will have her name go down in History for not only restoring a very Iconic Artifact, but also improves this artist's family's life, After the restoration and disinfection of the shirt. Her most grateful son will be proud of her for having gone down in history for Restoring the Fire-Survivor Iconic Shirt of Sonichu and Rosechu's Creator. Thank You, Missus.|2=Chris|3=on why history books should remember the momentous occasion wherein a retard bought a moldy piece of cloth from another retard}}

Not only is this statement [[Chris and his Ego|extremely egotistical]] even by CWC's standards, it also betrays the fact that Chris continues to treat a shirt that he let rot in a plastic bag for two years with an undue amount of gravitas. It seems that Chris views the clothing he has worn over the course of his life, much like [[Christopher's name change#Christopher as a separate personality|the various names he has had]], as an important symbol of his identity as it has twisted and changed. Because autistics are known to place extreme importance on inanimate objects, this can be seen as standard autistic behavior.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, prior to the Tomgirl Saga, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]] [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt|18]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:Christshirt42.png|"The Statesmen" [[10252009 For Kacey|1]] [[To Clyde Gregg|2]] [[For Chris II|3]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|7]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]
Image:ManchesterSweaterFixed.png|"The Manly Chester" [[I Love You, Catherine|1]] [[26_December_2014#Video|2]]
</gallery>
</center>

==Cross-dressing Boutique==
Chris has ditched the clown shirts, instead opting for an arguably worse wardrobe, see below:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:The Clopper.PNG|"The Clopper" [[Paid Video Requests#Josh Lover of men|1]] [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter|2]] [[Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Nathan.|3]]
Image:White tomgirl with Heart design.png|"The Shattered Heart" [[Announcement 06292016|1]] [[Unicorns Rainbows and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 3|2]] [[Rainbows Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 4|3]] [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Singing "All of the Lights"|4]]
Image:imdoneadulting.png|"The Broken Brony" (bought for $23.99)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot-www-facebook-com-2016-10-03-14-31-36-png.141291/</ref>
 [[The_Alpha_Trion/"Young_Warrior"_Challenge|1]]
Image:thepromoter.png|"The Promoter" [[Update_02/16/2016|1]]
Image:sonicrainboom.png|"The Sonic Rainboom" [[Holiday_Greetings_to_Karen_Riley|1]]
Image:thehappyhag.png|"The Happy Hag" [[Update_01/12/2016|1]] [[Apologies_for_offending_people|2]] [[Doxing_Jeff/Francine|3]] [[Eid,_Pmurt,_Eid|4]] [[Embargo_Update_12/2/2015|5]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|7]] [[GameStop_is_UNFAIR_to_Everyone;_Not_Just_Me!|6]] [[Happy_Birthday,_Martin.|8]] [[Happy_Pokémon_Day.|9]] [[HelloLadyFans|10]] [[I%27m_sick;_we_need_money_donations;_no_video_requests_for_a_while|11]] [[I_Am_me;_He_is_not|12]] [[Jeff_is_Beyond_Denounced.|13]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|14]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|15]] [[Reading:_"A_Girl_Who_Brought_Down_the_World",_"And_Apparently_Survived_a_Housefire"|16]] [[September_2016_Paid_Video_Requests|17]] [[Thank_You_from_Christine_Chandler|18]] [[Twelve_New_and_Old_Things_of_Christmas|19]] [[Update,_1/22/2016,_and_new_items_for_Cwcville_Shopping.|20]] [[Update_01/12/2016|21]] [[Update_1/25/2016|22]] [[Yes,_it_still_has_been_I,_Christine_Weston_Chandler,_who_has_been_uploading_the_videos_personally.|23]]
Image:thedealmaker.png|"The Deal Maker" [[Proposition_to_Sega|1]] [[Announcement_04/16/2016|2]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

==Other aspects of his Fashion sense==
===Wrist warmer===
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>{{PublicSource}}}}

Chris likely wears this article to counter [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

===Fanny pack===
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally, Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

===Cosplaying===
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Sonic Totem

2017-04-22T15:34:32Z

Acrylicpaint: /* In new hands */ Archived threads on 4chan are pruned after one week, posting archive for posterity

{{articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Sonicfail.jpg|thumb|200px|right|

Ṗ͌ͤͯr̹̝͉͂͆a̬̔̅͗̇͢i̠̣͎͎͚̊͆̊s̜̞̺̅ͩͧ̉e̤̥̳̫͚̤ͯ̔͛͌ͧ̃ ̸͓̺̻ͅG̤̭̲̳̀̓͛͋o͎̻ͯ̀̉̒ͫd͚͆ ̮͎̦̝̼̱̍̎S̝̋ͬ̌ͥo̧͉͇̬̰n̝͇̳͈̗͔̣͞ĩ̔͌̆̌͗c̨̗̱̹̹̟ȟ̡͎̮̜̏̌u̼͋̆͊͛̚̚͘!̠͛̂ ̛̙̗͕͔̍̑ͅPͮ͊͒̀́r͚̼̖̀͛ͭ̓͆͗̉͠a̼͉̖̬ͯ̂̆͠i͖͍̦̩̥͗̓ͯs͉̱̰ͫ̈̓̍ͣe̦͎̯ͪͨͣ͛͌̓̀͘ͅ ̸̭̺ͮL̵͔͉o̫̯͈̘ͫr͍̞̱̮̲d̠͔̬͔̈ͧͨ͑̓ͬ́ ͈̼̩͙̇C̴̲̭͓͎͌̎ḫ̈́͟ͅṛ͐ͭ̋ì̙̤̝̥̳s̶̮̲̭̎-̧̈́̌̑C̦̺̥̝̜̆̿̌h͈͐̇̿a̓̅n̼̆!̠̭̙͛ͣ͋ͬ͒̅͞]]

The '''Sonic Totem''' is one of the [[Relics of Fail]], though more shrouded in mystery than any of the others. Created by [[Chris]] in middle school and made out of paper mache, it is one of the oldest known Christorical Artefacts, as well as one of the oldest known artefacts to have survived the [[Destruction of Chris's House]].

As a result of the [[Financhu Crisis]], Chris sold the totem for '''$1,500''' on 7 April 2017.

Originally, the totem was joined by a set of two separate objects; one of [[Pokemon|Pikachu]] and an effigy in the form of a plate depicting Sonic. It is currently unknown if these other artefacts have survived.

[[Image:Totem2.JPG|thumb|200px|left|The totem appearing in a 2010 image of Chris's lair.]]

The totem has been featured very little in any of Chris's videos. After the [[Destruction Of Chris's House]], many assumed the Totem had been destroyed, but it suddenly reappeared in full view during Chris's [[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement]], and went on to make its most major appearance to date several years after the fire; [[IMG 3207]], (the video where Chris dry-humps a blowup doll trying to get a lesbian couple to mother his baby.)

==Offering it for sale==
On 7 [[April 2017]], due to the [[Financhu Crisis]] leaving Barb's bank account $800 in the red at the beginning of the month, Chris finally acknowledged the existence of the Sonic Totem by putting it [http://archive.is/k8blt up for sale] along with a small collection of [[Son-Chu Review|useless garbage]] on eBay for $1,500. He filmed [[Sonic Totem and More]] to advertise it.

Chris got the idea to list the totem for sale after a Kiwi Farms user sent him the suggestion as a joke.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-agrees-to-sell-the-sonic-totem-for-1000.29800/</ref> Naturally, since the troll had offered $1,000, Chris decided to raise his own asking price by 50%.

Troll:
{{quoteboxred|Need $1000? Sell me the Sonic Totem.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Sure! Send me the money via PayPal to my phone number here, then I will get your address and FedEx the totem to you asap.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Buckmullet1.jpeg
File:Buckmullet2.jpeg
File:Buckmullet3.jpeg
</gallery></center>

===The listing===

Title: Christine Chandler's Paper mache Sonic Totem, Plus limited-time Bonuses 
Listed: 7 April, as Buy It Now 
Price: $1,500 
Shipping: Free 
Category: Collectibles > Cultures & Ethnicities > Latin American > Mexico > Folk Art

{{quotebox|Made WAY back in the mid-1990s in Middle School, by the artist who took the world by electric storm with Sonichu and Rosechu, here is Miss Christine Weston Chandler's (formerly known as Christian) paper mache Totem of Sonic the Hedgehog. It will be shipped very well in a big box with packing materials via UPS to the buyer. And the Bonuses, as shown with it in the first photo, are included up to April 30, 2017, so Buy This Artwork Collectible NOW!!!}}

<center><gallery>
File:Totem1.jpeg
File:Totem2ebay.jpeg
File:Totem3.jpeg
File:Totem4.jpeg
</gallery></center>

In [[Sonic Totem and More]], he advertised a set of bonuses with the totem: a [[Skylanders avatar]] card ($15), T-shirt ($25) and figure ($50), as well as a figure of [[Son-Chu]] ($40).

===Sale===
It was purchased within '''4 hours'''<ref>http://archive.is/yGMuu - The video announcement was uploaded at 4:16 pm and the Totem sold at 8:09 pm (both times Eastern)</ref>.

[[File:Sonic Totem feedback.png|thumb|The buyer received the Totem in good condition.]]
One hour after the sale, Chris spent $400 on a gold necklace<ref>http://archive.is/tPnTI</ref>, meant as a replacement for the one Barb had to pawn in November 2016<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb pawns jewelry, Chris decides to join Patreon]]</ref>. Within three days, he spent $750 more on [[Skylanders avatar]] products, meant as prizes for a stamp raffle that would conclude on 30 April<ref>[[By the book, Buy the book plus update]] - he specified the dollar amount in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>.

''He failed to ship the Sonic Totem to the buyer on time''.

On 19 April, Chris confirmed in a [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering six Sonichu drawings for $2,000|post]] and [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt|video]] that the buyer had filed a dispute and that his account was $1,450 in the red, as a result of a temporary hold being placed on the sale money.

He explained that he didn't have enough money to ship the Totem - in spite of the fact that he had made a further $130 in sales on [[stamps]] since the Totem sold for $1,500.

On 21 April, the Totem buyer left positive feedback, concluding the sale and releasing the money to Chris.

===In new hands===

On 22 April, an Anon on [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]]'s /v/ board made [http://boards.4chan.org/v/thread/374625554 a thread] ([https://boards.fireden.net/v/thread/374625554/ archive]) confirming he received the Totem.

{{quoteboxred|The Sonic Totem finally arrived safely, despite being sent in two boxes scotch taped together with trash used as packing material.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Totem after CWC 1.jpeg ‎
File:Totem after CWC 2.jpeg ‎
File:Totem after CWC 3.jpeg ‎
File:Totem after CWC 4.jpeg
File:Totem after CWC 5.jpeg ‎
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/people-who-tried-crafts-pinterest-and-totally-nailed-it
* http://geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php
* http://www.ebay.com/itm/282425317605
* [http://archive.is/p5xHq Archive of the ebay listing]
* [http://archive.is/Pxxcq Archive of 4Chan thread]

{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Talk:Reddit

2016-02-08T14:05:24Z

Acrylicpaint: Created page with "I am inclined to believe that this is not the true and honest Chris. --~~~~"

I am inclined to believe that this is not the true and honest Chris. --[[User:Acrylicpaint|Acrylicpaint]] ([[User talk:Acrylicpaint|talk]]) 14:05, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

Chris in the media

2016-02-07T21:47:08Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Drunken Peasants */ added {{Deletedvideo}}

[[Image:The truth about cwc.jpg|thumb|right|Just you wait.]]

[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Whether it be [[Chris and television|television]], newspapers, magazines or, of course, [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], if Chris can find some way to get his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.

==Traditional media==
===''Richmond Times-Dispatch''===
{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to "Christian". This was Chris's first known appearance in media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in [[1994]] chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===
{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In [[1999]], Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 years old at the time, and he was playing [[Pokémon]] cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as 8]].

===''Nintendo Power'' Magazine===
{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's ''Animal Crossing'' video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

===[[Shoujo Beat]]===
{{main|Shoujo Beat}}

Chris sent a letter to an [[anime]]-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonesome virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.

===Daily Progress===
[[Image:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|thumb|Admit it, if you've never heard of Chris before, would you think that they were actually referring to a 25-year-old man here?]]

On 14 [[July 2007]], the Chandlers were mentioned in the ''Daily Progress'' section of their local newspaper.

===Toucher and Rich===
{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio podcast in [[Wikipedia:Boston|Boston]]. The whole media furor was sparked by the "[[I Got A Fish]]" video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].<ref>[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145]</ref>

===Kevin and Bean===
{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts [[Wikipedia:Kevin and Bean|Kevin and Bean]]. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

===''Web Soup''===
{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}

Once again, Chris's "[[I Got A Fish]]" video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than 30 seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]], only to belatedly realize after he uploaded an entire video about it that shows like ''Web Soup'' are devoted to mocking people like him.

===Save McIntire Park===
{{main|McIntire Park}}

In [[July 2009]], Chris briefly appears in the background of a news segment about saving McIntire Park, [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]. Later, Chris receives recognition at a council meeting for drawing a large sign.

===''Slylock Fox''===
[[File:SonichuSlylockFox25Sep2011.JPG|thumb|115px|"Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9"]]

On 25 September 2011, ''[[Wikipedia:Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids|Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids]]'', a comic strip about comic strips published by King Features Syndicate, featured a black-and-white image<ref>[http://content.comicskingdom.net/Slylock/Slylock.20110925.gif]</ref> of [[Sonichu]] in the "Your Drawing" panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: "Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9." The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the Comics Curmudgeon blog<ref>[http://joshreads.com/?p=10951#comment-1014594]</ref> that he fully believed that the "artist" was 9 (rather than 29) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.

===Opie & Anthony===
{{main|Opie and Anthony}}

On 27 [[May 2009]], ''[[Wikipedia:Opie and Anthony|The Opie & Anthony Show]]'' on [[Wikipedia:Sirius XM Radio|Sirius XM Radio]], which was broadcast to 18.5 million units, [[Opie and Anthony|did a commentary segment]] on Chris's video response to drinking his own [[cum]] and shitting his adult diapers. It is unknown whether he's realized that his [[autistic]] antics have technically been broadcast to low earth orbit.

===''Houston Press''===
On 12 [[July 2012]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Houston Press|Houston Press]]'' published an article on Rex Nabours III of defunct folk punk band Guwange and his attempts to raise money for sick children. Nabours was quoted in the article saying "I did a Christian Weston Chandler (the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' guy) [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys|covers album]] earlier this year with the intent of giving any money I made off of it to Autism-related charities because the dude is basically [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]] for autism".<ref>http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2012/07/rex_nabours_extra_life.php</ref>

===''Failosophy'' ===
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Featured pic]]

MTV's show ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]'' mocked Internet idiots like Chris. While the show lasted a mere 3 months due to negative reception, one of his [[Tomgirl]] pics memorably and unsurprisingly showed up in the 4th episode of the show, viewed by almost a million people. Jump to 0:26 for his appearance.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Chris-Chan on MTV's Failosophy
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Hqy4scnj1EI}}
}}

Chris, unusually, gave a response via [[Facebook]].

{{quotebox| I had no ill will against MTV. I enjoyed the women in "[[Wikipedia:Undressed|Undressed]]"; I like [[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]; the [[Dating education|dating game show]] was fun to watch, and to put them way at the bottom, [[Beavis and Butt-head|Beavis and Butt-Head]] were [[Christian Weston Chandler|so stupid, it became crazy-funny]].

I have been the victim of Trolling/Cyber-Bullying for the past greater than five years. I get that whatever gets onto the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] is near impossible to remove.

And now I find that among the shit I was trolled of, this ONE photograph, which was originally taken for a WOMAN years ago, gets compared with a literal meat-head and a plush-head, and is made available on iTunes for two dollars!

From the one woman's words, Jamie Lee... I don't know what is worse, that she would not date me, or that she would put me in jail over a freaking couch. Lee, My Once Good Name was actually Jailed, because of the SET UPS those Anonymous, LULZy, Shit-Faced TROLLS. [[Chris and reality|At least I was more clean, sexy and gung-ho than either of the ugly, grimy freak shows I was compared with.]]

If I did not have a very good day beforehand today, I would seriously be [[Chris and the Law|calling my Attorney]] on your damn show's ass.|[[Christian Weston Chandler]], after 950,000 people saw him on ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]''.}}

To this day, Chris has not followed up on this threat of legal action. The episode with Chris in it also remains available on iTunes.

===Local TV Broadcast===
{{main|Destruction of Chris's House}}
A local TV broadcast gave a brief report on the [[Destruction of Chris's House]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Fire at 14 Branchland Court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qkYnMRh26Oo}}
}}

==Major Internet media==
===''Honest Game Trailers''===

Three minutes into the video, Chris is brought up as an example of the horrors of the Sonic fandom. Less than a minute later, Sonic is jokingly referred to as Sonichu.
{{Infobox/video
|name= SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (Honest Game Trailers)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|TR7r4PlNeOY}}
}}

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [[Wikipedia:Fark|Fark]] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].<ref>[http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked]</ref>

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on [[the internet]] has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. Christian Weston Chandler, aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about [[the Internet]] made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Borb|parents]], sponges off the [[Monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Harry Partridge===
[[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|125px|"Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it." -Chris, [[Mailbag 9]]]]
Animator Harry Partridge (best known for his [[parody|slanderous mockery]] [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Saturday Morning ''Watchmen'']]) has made several references to Chris and Sonichu, the first of which being a drawing of [[Rosechu]] uploaded to Newgrounds.<ref>[http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/happyharry/rosechu ]</ref> An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "Nicolas Cage Wants Cake", a musical remix of a scene from ''[[Family Guy|The Family Man]]''.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesa]</ref> In the animated short "Skyrim", [[Son-Chu]]'s "SONICHU" license plate can be seen in the background during the first scene.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY]</ref> In the Followup, "Song of Skyrim", Chris makes a brief cameo in the crowd scene.

Harry himself has commented on [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]]'s upload of the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] song "[[I'll Never Leave You, Ivy]]", jokingly stating "I want this played at my funeral."

When interviewing Harry Partridge on Animation Aficionados, the hosts asked Harry about Chris's cameos in some of his videos (from 0:19:43). The discussion the hosts have with Harry about Chris is quite lengthy, during which Mr. Partridge admits that he is "obsessed with him":<ref>[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]</ref>

{{Quote|1=I really am obsessed with him... I check [[CWCki|''Sonichu.com'']], the wiki about Chris-chan and his weird life, if not daily, every couple of hours... there must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington. |2=Harry Partridge|3=}}

===''Atop the Fourth Wall''===
Comic book reviewer Lewis Lovhaug (a.k.a. "Linkara") goes on a brief tirade in his 99th video "Top 15 Things I Will Never Review" about ''Sonichu'' on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.<ref>[http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html]</ref>

{{Infobox/video
|name= Linkara Discusses Sonichu & Chris-Chan
|video= {{#ev:youtube|mDfRk0qt5HQ}}
}}

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is called...Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I ''hadn't'' heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara, speaking for everyone who has ever become aware of Sonichu.}}

While he'd previously made the point that he wouldn't review webcomics in general, Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' in particular because he didn't want to acknowledge it further. He describes Chris as a "[[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|creepy stalker]]". Towards the end of the episode, a character tries to pressure Linkara into reviewing ''Sonichu'' before Linkara settles on reviewing a ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' comic for is 100th episode. At the end of the video, he uses "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Do I Creep You Out?" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
{{Infobox/video
|name= =3 - I will end you!
|video= {{#ev:youtube|q2jERPp3Z0w}}
}}

{{quote|Wait a minute, did he just say he recycles his...HOLY SH*bleep*IT! Oh, that is some NASTY sh*bleep*t, oh, oh GOD!|Ray, representing pretty much anybody who saw the video for the first time}}

In an early episode of ''=3'' (pronounced "equals three"), vlogger Ray William Johnson made fun of Chris's habit of [[recycling]] his [[navy]]. Though he never gave Chris's name, referring to him rather inaccurately as "your average ''[[Captain's Log|Star Trek]]'' fan", he did provide a link to Chris's old channel. Jump to 2:09 in the linked video.

===Something Awful===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Sonic the hog
|video= {{#ev:youtube|pIKTFNTBM_0}}
|subject= Reupload by Owldof Hootler
}}

The last episode of [[Wikipedia:Something Awful|Something Awful]]'s “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php]</ref>

Also, the first episode of The Flash Tub's "Gaming Guyz", while not mentioning Chris outright, directly references his [[medallion]], and how Sonic cured his autism in Part 12.<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guys-cartoon.php]</ref>

===SpliceToday.com===
An article<ref>[http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler]</ref> posted on 6 January, 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.

{{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his [[kitchen]] microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}

===Nicole Richie's twitter===
On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] posted on [[Twitter]]<ref>[http://twitpic.com/s7pfi]</ref> an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].

===Sega Acknowledges Sonichu===
On 13 [[January 2012]], two [[Sega]] of America employees corpsed in one of their "Free Stuff Friday" videos when one talked about a Super [[Sonic]] plush they were giving away and the female called it "Sonichu?". While this is not [[TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu [[Jimmy Hill|merchandise]], it shows that at least some Sega employees are aware of Sonichu's existence. Jump to 3:50 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SEGA's Free Stuff Friday - January 13, 2012
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Cnoq4-Mhpgc}}
}}

Chris saw the video and [[List of Christian's comments on Youtube|commented]], ''I do not find that commentary funny at all. In fact, I feel pissed off to be ridiculed soo lightly.''<ref>[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube#SEGA's Free Stuff Friday-January 13, 2012]]</ref>

===Maddox===
Internet comedy writer [[wikipedia:Maddox (writer)|George "Maddox" Ouzounian]], best-known for his website [http://maddox.xmission.com The Best Page in the Universe], critiqued Chris's [[:File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog]] on one of his side-projects, [http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com I Am Better Than Your Kids], as one of many children's drawings to help promote his novel of the same name. Like most other works on the site, Maddox gave the drawing an F. <ref>[http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/?p=117]</ref>

===Cvillepedia===
On a wiki dedicated to Charlottesville culture and "celebrities," he has what can only be described as a tongue-in-cheek article.<ref>http://www.cvillepedia.org/mediawiki/index.php/Christian_Weston_Chandler</ref>

===Cracked.com===
[[File:CWccracked.jpg|thumb|200px|#22 on Insane Subcultures.]]
Chris showed up on [[Wikipedia:Cracked.com|Cracked]]'s front page as #22 on 9 [[April 2014]] as part of "25 Insane Subcultures You Won't Believe Actually Exist".<ref>[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_859_25-insane-subcultures-you-wont-believe-actually-exist/]</ref>

===Smosh===
Chris's Sonic Totem statue was featured one Smosh's site, via the 'Smosh Pit' section which mostly contains articles, countdowns and memes. It was listed in the [http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/people-who-tried-crafts-pinterest-and-totally-nailed-it| '22 People Who Tried Crafts On Pinterest and TOTALLY NAILED IT'] article.

===IMDb===
Chris has his own IMDb entry page. To date he only has two credits, both in the "archive footage" category; the aforementioned ''=3'' video, and the later WTFIWWY segment.<ref>[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ IMDb page]</ref>

===Wii U Daily===
The website Wii U Daily has an article on the [[GameStop]] incident that occurred on [[26 December 2014]].<ref>[http://wiiudaily.com/2014/12/man-maces-gamestop-employee-over-sonic-boom/ Man maces GameStop employee over Sonic Boom | Wii U]</ref> Chris eventually found the article, then proceeded to go on a long rambling on Facebook on why the writer should respect him and his terrible ways--even going as far to call the writer a horrible male, despite the writer being ''fe''male.

===Reddit===
There is an entire subreddit on the popular website Reddit entitled "r/cwc", which is predictably all about Chris and his shenanigans. Eventually, however, it was later set to private mode and cannot be viewed unless you are a moderator or approved submitter.

On 23 [[September 2014]], the subreddit r/shittykickstarters linked to Chris's [[Kickstarter]] project for getting Legos.

On 1 [[January 2015]], the Wii U Daily article about the 26 December 2014 incident was linked to another subreddit, r/rage.<ref>[http://www.reddit.com/r/rage/comments/2r0kyh/man_maces_gamestop_employee_over_sonic_boom/ Man maces employee over Sonic Boom : rage]</ref>

===Radio Dead Air===
{{main|WTFIWWY Segment}}

On the 29 December 2014 edition of his ''What the Fuck is Wrong with You?'' podcast, Radio Dead Air (and Channel Awesome) star Nash and his co-star Tara discussed the 26 December 2014 incident. Until this point Nash had shed away from discussing Chris for much the same reason as Linkara, but decided he had to discuss it to the overwhelming volume of attention and e-mail the incident generated, along with the utter insanity displayed by Chris.<ref>[http://channelawesome.com/wtfiwwy-live-the-passion-of-the-chris-chan/ WTFIWWY Live: The Passion of the Chris Chan]</ref>

===Design & Trend===
On 30 December 2014, website Design & Trend also posted an article about the 26 December 2014 incident.<ref>[http://www.designntrend.com/articles/33011/20141230/gamestop-maced-shocking-assault-sonic-fanboy-over-sonics-arms-sonichu-jailed-watch.htm GameStop Employee Maced In Shocking Assault By 'Sonic' Fanboy Over Sonic's Arms: 'Sonichu' Creator Jailed]</ref> The article link has apparently been [[Twitter|tweeted]] 15 times, according to the website.

===ReviewTechUSA===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Chris Chan Assaults Gamestop Employee Over Sonic Boom
|video= {{#ev:youtube|2zBXTErUpbc}}
}}

On 2 January 2015, ReviewTechUSA made a video about the 26 December 2014 incident.

===The Mysterious Mr. Enter===
Animation reviewer The Mysterious Mr. Enter made a slight nudge at Chris while preparing to rant about the infamous "I Am Autism" commercial from [[wikipedia:Autism Speaks|Autism Speaks]] (one of many reasons why the organization is disliked among the autism community), saying that it "makes autistic people look worse than...I dunno, Chris-Chan does." Jump to 2:15 in the linked video--and by the way, that is a microphone, not a giant Icee cup.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Mr. Enter Speaks About Autism Speaks
|video= {{#ev:youtube|rMPNvcJtIR8}}
}}

===Game Grumps===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Leisure Suit Larry 6: Too Easy - PART 13 - Steam Train
|video= {{#ev:youtube|xbTmGQUWwjM}}
}}

{{quote|Ross: "You'll be like Sonichu- the electric hedgehog Pokémon."
Suzy: "Oh man, my dreams come true..."}}

In an episode of ''Steam Train'', Suzy walks into the Grump Room mid recording to quietly grab a blanket. Ross and Dan draw attention to her anyway, and they warn her they blanket is full of static electricity and it may just make her like Sonichu, to which Suzy is less than enthusiastic about. Jump to 6:00 for the whole conversation.

===SuperPrincessDaisy64===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Boom Shadow
|video= {{#ev:youtube|LtVamUVxMa8}}
}}

Chris appears at 1:13 where the song mocks him for disliking the blarms. Of note is that [[Wikipedia:Mike Pollock|Mike Pollock]], the TRUE and HONEST English voice actor for [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Eggman]], has commented on the video and given it his approval, meaning yet another of Chris's heroes is at least tangentially aware of his existence.

===Sega Acknowledges Sonichu Again===
On June 10, 2015, a fan asked the official [[Twitter]] account of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (which has been verified and everything) if [[Sonichu]] will be playable in ''[[Sonic Boom]]: Fire & Ice''.<ref>https://archive.is/eWfjQ</ref> Their response?

{{quote|Maybe, but only if we give Sonichu blue arms, three scarves, and ultimately just redesign him as Big the Cat.}}

===Crave Online Australia===
[[File:ChrisSonichuSupanova.png|thumb|200px|Cosplayers as Christian and Sonichu at Supanova Sydney in 2015]]
Crave Online, a website showcasing various video coverage from games, films, sports and others topics covered a convention in [[PandaHalo|Australia]] called Supanova in 2015. A duo cosplayed as Chris and Sonichu, making a brief reference to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo]] rejecting Chris's game proposal.<ref>http://www.craveonline.com.au/entertainment/articles/869761-watch-supanova-pop-culture-expo-2015-sydney-wrap</ref>

===Larry Bundy, Jr.===
Chris made a cameo appearance in the "''Apaches''" episode of ''Films Yanks Can't Wank'', during a mention of [[Jimmy Hill]]. Jump to 1:55 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Films Wanks Can't Wank - Apaches (HD)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|W3JjyoEhCuo}}
}}

===CatalystEXE===
CatalystEXE, most famous for being the voice of Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life, made a drawing of Christian, Rosechu (with a [[china]] for a mouth), a [[pickle]], and Sonic during a livestream. Watch from 46:12-58:21 in the video to see him draw the picture. He also made two comments regarding Christian.
[[File:Cata4.png|thumb|200px|The drawing in question. Reads: "My feet are so hot and sweaty from running around all day! Maybe you can help me cool off!"]]
[[File:Cata.PNG|thumb|200px|His first comment]]
[[File:Cata2.PNG|thumb|200px|His second comment]]
{{Infobox/video
|name= Art
|video= {{#ev:youtube|GCSVSpo6eRk}}
}}

===Drunken Peasants===
Chris appeared on the ''Drunken Peasants'' podcast (starring TJ, also known as [[Thorg|The Amazing Atheist]]) episode 129 on July 10, 2015.

{{Deletedvideo}}

{{Infobox/video
|name= TJ Slaps Stevie - Confederate flag Taken Down in SC - Stupid Ads - DPP #129
|video= {{#ev:youtube|pBC7EMkQzzI}}
}}

===Your Movie Sucks===
33 seconds into YMS's review of ''Cyberbully'', the infamous picture of Chris wearing Barb's bra and panties is shown when Adam says "You can control what you post." The photo was actually leaked, but the point still stands given that one can control what pictures they take of themselves.

{{Infobox/video
|name= YMS: Cyberbully (Full Review)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|fi8A-GHOo8c}}
}}

===Adam Baldwin's twitter===
On 5 December 2015, actor [[wikipedia:Adam Baldwin|Adam Baldwin]] tweeted an image showing photos of various people who are either opposed or supporitve of GamerGate. At the top of the image on its far left side a picture of Chris can be seen.<ref>[https://archive.is/2oxcX]</ref> The tweet was later on deleted.<ref>[https://twitter.com/adambaldwin/status/673221909681602560]</ref>

==Video Games==
===McPixel===
On 25 [[June 2012]], the indie game ''McPixel'' featured a homage to [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris' sexcapades with inanimate objects]] by having a special ending sequence depicting the titular character dry-humping a PS3 in the same stance Chris was.

{{Infobox/video
|name= McPixel Extra Ending
|video= {{#ev:youtube|TWHd_10zcaY}}
}}

===Goat Simulator===
[[File:Goat.jpg|thumb|300px|The goat unfortunately named Chris-Chan.]]
The "Goat MMO Simulator" DLC pack adds a simulated MMO mode that parodies games such as World of Warcraft. AI-controlled goats simulate the presence of other players, and their names are drawn randomly from a list of pre-generated names. 'Chris-chan' is one of the names on this list.

===Akinator the Genie===
"Chris-Chan Sonichu", "Sonichu", "Rosechu", "Magi-Chan", and "Bob Chandler" are guessable characters in the online/iOS game ''Akinator the Genie''.

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Chris in the media

2016-02-07T21:44:30Z

Acrylicpaint:

[[Image:The truth about cwc.jpg|thumb|right|Just you wait.]]

[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Whether it be [[Chris and television|television]], newspapers, magazines or, of course, [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], if Chris can find some way to get his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.

==Traditional media==
===''Richmond Times-Dispatch''===
{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to "Christian". This was Chris's first known appearance in media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in [[1994]] chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===
{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In [[1999]], Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 years old at the time, and he was playing [[Pokémon]] cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as 8]].

===''Nintendo Power'' Magazine===
{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's ''Animal Crossing'' video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

===[[Shoujo Beat]]===
{{main|Shoujo Beat}}

Chris sent a letter to an [[anime]]-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonesome virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.

===Daily Progress===
[[Image:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|thumb|Admit it, if you've never heard of Chris before, would you think that they were actually referring to a 25-year-old man here?]]

On 14 [[July 2007]], the Chandlers were mentioned in the ''Daily Progress'' section of their local newspaper.

===Toucher and Rich===
{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio podcast in [[Wikipedia:Boston|Boston]]. The whole media furor was sparked by the "[[I Got A Fish]]" video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].<ref>[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145]</ref>

===Kevin and Bean===
{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts [[Wikipedia:Kevin and Bean|Kevin and Bean]]. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

===''Web Soup''===
{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}

Once again, Chris's "[[I Got A Fish]]" video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than 30 seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]], only to belatedly realize after he uploaded an entire video about it that shows like ''Web Soup'' are devoted to mocking people like him.

===Save McIntire Park===
{{main|McIntire Park}}

In [[July 2009]], Chris briefly appears in the background of a news segment about saving McIntire Park, [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]. Later, Chris receives recognition at a council meeting for drawing a large sign.

===''Slylock Fox''===
[[File:SonichuSlylockFox25Sep2011.JPG|thumb|115px|"Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9"]]

On 25 September 2011, ''[[Wikipedia:Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids|Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids]]'', a comic strip about comic strips published by King Features Syndicate, featured a black-and-white image<ref>[http://content.comicskingdom.net/Slylock/Slylock.20110925.gif]</ref> of [[Sonichu]] in the "Your Drawing" panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: "Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9." The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the Comics Curmudgeon blog<ref>[http://joshreads.com/?p=10951#comment-1014594]</ref> that he fully believed that the "artist" was 9 (rather than 29) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.

===Opie & Anthony===
{{main|Opie and Anthony}}

On 27 [[May 2009]], ''[[Wikipedia:Opie and Anthony|The Opie & Anthony Show]]'' on [[Wikipedia:Sirius XM Radio|Sirius XM Radio]], which was broadcast to 18.5 million units, [[Opie and Anthony|did a commentary segment]] on Chris's video response to drinking his own [[cum]] and shitting his adult diapers. It is unknown whether he's realized that his [[autistic]] antics have technically been broadcast to low earth orbit.

===''Houston Press''===
On 12 [[July 2012]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Houston Press|Houston Press]]'' published an article on Rex Nabours III of defunct folk punk band Guwange and his attempts to raise money for sick children. Nabours was quoted in the article saying "I did a Christian Weston Chandler (the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' guy) [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys|covers album]] earlier this year with the intent of giving any money I made off of it to Autism-related charities because the dude is basically [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]] for autism".<ref>http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2012/07/rex_nabours_extra_life.php</ref>

===''Failosophy'' ===
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Featured pic]]

MTV's show ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]'' mocked Internet idiots like Chris. While the show lasted a mere 3 months due to negative reception, one of his [[Tomgirl]] pics memorably and unsurprisingly showed up in the 4th episode of the show, viewed by almost a million people. Jump to 0:26 for his appearance.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Chris-Chan on MTV's Failosophy
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Hqy4scnj1EI}}
}}

Chris, unusually, gave a response via [[Facebook]].

{{quotebox| I had no ill will against MTV. I enjoyed the women in "[[Wikipedia:Undressed|Undressed]]"; I like [[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]; the [[Dating education|dating game show]] was fun to watch, and to put them way at the bottom, [[Beavis and Butt-head|Beavis and Butt-Head]] were [[Christian Weston Chandler|so stupid, it became crazy-funny]].

I have been the victim of Trolling/Cyber-Bullying for the past greater than five years. I get that whatever gets onto the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] is near impossible to remove.

And now I find that among the shit I was trolled of, this ONE photograph, which was originally taken for a WOMAN years ago, gets compared with a literal meat-head and a plush-head, and is made available on iTunes for two dollars!

From the one woman's words, Jamie Lee... I don't know what is worse, that she would not date me, or that she would put me in jail over a freaking couch. Lee, My Once Good Name was actually Jailed, because of the SET UPS those Anonymous, LULZy, Shit-Faced TROLLS. [[Chris and reality|At least I was more clean, sexy and gung-ho than either of the ugly, grimy freak shows I was compared with.]]

If I did not have a very good day beforehand today, I would seriously be [[Chris and the Law|calling my Attorney]] on your damn show's ass.|[[Christian Weston Chandler]], after 950,000 people saw him on ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]''.}}

To this day, Chris has not followed up on this threat of legal action. The episode with Chris in it also remains available on iTunes.

===Local TV Broadcast===
{{main|Destruction of Chris's House}}
A local TV broadcast gave a brief report on the [[Destruction of Chris's House]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Fire at 14 Branchland Court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qkYnMRh26Oo}}
}}

==Major Internet media==
===''Honest Game Trailers''===

Three minutes into the video, Chris is brought up as an example of the horrors of the Sonic fandom. Less than a minute later, Sonic is jokingly referred to as Sonichu.
{{Infobox/video
|name= SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (Honest Game Trailers)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|TR7r4PlNeOY}}
}}

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [[Wikipedia:Fark|Fark]] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].<ref>[http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked]</ref>

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on [[the internet]] has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. Christian Weston Chandler, aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about [[the Internet]] made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Borb|parents]], sponges off the [[Monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Harry Partridge===
[[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|125px|"Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it." -Chris, [[Mailbag 9]]]]
Animator Harry Partridge (best known for his [[parody|slanderous mockery]] [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Saturday Morning ''Watchmen'']]) has made several references to Chris and Sonichu, the first of which being a drawing of [[Rosechu]] uploaded to Newgrounds.<ref>[http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/happyharry/rosechu ]</ref> An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "Nicolas Cage Wants Cake", a musical remix of a scene from ''[[Family Guy|The Family Man]]''.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesa]</ref> In the animated short "Skyrim", [[Son-Chu]]'s "SONICHU" license plate can be seen in the background during the first scene.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY]</ref> In the Followup, "Song of Skyrim", Chris makes a brief cameo in the crowd scene.

Harry himself has commented on [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]]'s upload of the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] song "[[I'll Never Leave You, Ivy]]", jokingly stating "I want this played at my funeral."

When interviewing Harry Partridge on Animation Aficionados, the hosts asked Harry about Chris's cameos in some of his videos (from 0:19:43). The discussion the hosts have with Harry about Chris is quite lengthy, during which Mr. Partridge admits that he is "obsessed with him":<ref>[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]</ref>

{{Quote|1=I really am obsessed with him... I check [[CWCki|''Sonichu.com'']], the wiki about Chris-chan and his weird life, if not daily, every couple of hours... there must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington. |2=Harry Partridge|3=}}

===''Atop the Fourth Wall''===
Comic book reviewer Lewis Lovhaug (a.k.a. "Linkara") goes on a brief tirade in his 99th video "Top 15 Things I Will Never Review" about ''Sonichu'' on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.<ref>[http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html]</ref>

{{Infobox/video
|name= Linkara Discusses Sonichu & Chris-Chan
|video= {{#ev:youtube|mDfRk0qt5HQ}}
}}

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is called...Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I ''hadn't'' heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara, speaking for everyone who has ever become aware of Sonichu.}}

While he'd previously made the point that he wouldn't review webcomics in general, Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' in particular because he didn't want to acknowledge it further. He describes Chris as a "[[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|creepy stalker]]". Towards the end of the episode, a character tries to pressure Linkara into reviewing ''Sonichu'' before Linkara settles on reviewing a ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' comic for is 100th episode. At the end of the video, he uses "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Do I Creep You Out?" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
{{Infobox/video
|name= =3 - I will end you!
|video= {{#ev:youtube|q2jERPp3Z0w}}
}}

{{quote|Wait a minute, did he just say he recycles his...HOLY SH*bleep*IT! Oh, that is some NASTY sh*bleep*t, oh, oh GOD!|Ray, representing pretty much anybody who saw the video for the first time}}

In an early episode of ''=3'' (pronounced "equals three"), vlogger Ray William Johnson made fun of Chris's habit of [[recycling]] his [[navy]]. Though he never gave Chris's name, referring to him rather inaccurately as "your average ''[[Captain's Log|Star Trek]]'' fan", he did provide a link to Chris's old channel. Jump to 2:09 in the linked video.

===Something Awful===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Sonic the hog
|video= {{#ev:youtube|pIKTFNTBM_0}}
|subject= Reupload by Owldof Hootler
}}

The last episode of [[Wikipedia:Something Awful|Something Awful]]'s “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php]</ref>

Also, the first episode of The Flash Tub's "Gaming Guyz", while not mentioning Chris outright, directly references his [[medallion]], and how Sonic cured his autism in Part 12.<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guys-cartoon.php]</ref>

===SpliceToday.com===
An article<ref>[http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler]</ref> posted on 6 January, 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.

{{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his [[kitchen]] microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}

===Nicole Richie's twitter===
On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] posted on [[Twitter]]<ref>[http://twitpic.com/s7pfi]</ref> an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].

===Sega Acknowledges Sonichu===
On 13 [[January 2012]], two [[Sega]] of America employees corpsed in one of their "Free Stuff Friday" videos when one talked about a Super [[Sonic]] plush they were giving away and the female called it "Sonichu?". While this is not [[TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu [[Jimmy Hill|merchandise]], it shows that at least some Sega employees are aware of Sonichu's existence. Jump to 3:50 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SEGA's Free Stuff Friday - January 13, 2012
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Cnoq4-Mhpgc}}
}}

Chris saw the video and [[List of Christian's comments on Youtube|commented]], ''I do not find that commentary funny at all. In fact, I feel pissed off to be ridiculed soo lightly.''<ref>[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube#SEGA's Free Stuff Friday-January 13, 2012]]</ref>

===Maddox===
Internet comedy writer [[wikipedia:Maddox (writer)|George "Maddox" Ouzounian]], best-known for his website [http://maddox.xmission.com The Best Page in the Universe], critiqued Chris's [[:File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog]] on one of his side-projects, [http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com I Am Better Than Your Kids], as one of many children's drawings to help promote his novel of the same name. Like most other works on the site, Maddox gave the drawing an F. <ref>[http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/?p=117]</ref>

===Cvillepedia===
On a wiki dedicated to Charlottesville culture and "celebrities," he has what can only be described as a tongue-in-cheek article.<ref>http://www.cvillepedia.org/mediawiki/index.php/Christian_Weston_Chandler</ref>

===Cracked.com===
[[File:CWccracked.jpg|thumb|200px|#22 on Insane Subcultures.]]
Chris showed up on [[Wikipedia:Cracked.com|Cracked]]'s front page as #22 on 9 [[April 2014]] as part of "25 Insane Subcultures You Won't Believe Actually Exist".<ref>[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_859_25-insane-subcultures-you-wont-believe-actually-exist/]</ref>

===Smosh===
Chris's Sonic Totem statue was featured one Smosh's site, via the 'Smosh Pit' section which mostly contains articles, countdowns and memes. It was listed in the [http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/people-who-tried-crafts-pinterest-and-totally-nailed-it| '22 People Who Tried Crafts On Pinterest and TOTALLY NAILED IT'] article.

===IMDb===
Chris has his own IMDb entry page. To date he only has two credits, both in the "archive footage" category; the aforementioned ''=3'' video, and the later WTFIWWY segment.<ref>[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ IMDb page]</ref>

===Wii U Daily===
The website Wii U Daily has an article on the [[GameStop]] incident that occurred on [[26 December 2014]].<ref>[http://wiiudaily.com/2014/12/man-maces-gamestop-employee-over-sonic-boom/ Man maces GameStop employee over Sonic Boom | Wii U]</ref> Chris eventually found the article, then proceeded to go on a long rambling on Facebook on why the writer should respect him and his terrible ways--even going as far to call the writer a horrible male, despite the writer being ''fe''male.

===Reddit===
There is an entire subreddit on the popular website Reddit entitled "r/cwc", which is predictably all about Chris and his shenanigans. Eventually, however, it was later set to private mode and cannot be viewed unless you are a moderator or approved submitter.

On 23 [[September 2014]], the subreddit r/shittykickstarters linked to Chris's [[Kickstarter]] project for getting Legos.

On 1 [[January 2015]], the Wii U Daily article about the 26 December 2014 incident was linked to another subreddit, r/rage.<ref>[http://www.reddit.com/r/rage/comments/2r0kyh/man_maces_gamestop_employee_over_sonic_boom/ Man maces employee over Sonic Boom : rage]</ref>

===Radio Dead Air===
{{main|WTFIWWY Segment}}

On the 29 December 2014 edition of his ''What the Fuck is Wrong with You?'' podcast, Radio Dead Air (and Channel Awesome) star Nash and his co-star Tara discussed the 26 December 2014 incident. Until this point Nash had shed away from discussing Chris for much the same reason as Linkara, but decided he had to discuss it to the overwhelming volume of attention and e-mail the incident generated, along with the utter insanity displayed by Chris.<ref>[http://channelawesome.com/wtfiwwy-live-the-passion-of-the-chris-chan/ WTFIWWY Live: The Passion of the Chris Chan]</ref>

===Design & Trend===
On 30 December 2014, website Design & Trend also posted an article about the 26 December 2014 incident.<ref>[http://www.designntrend.com/articles/33011/20141230/gamestop-maced-shocking-assault-sonic-fanboy-over-sonics-arms-sonichu-jailed-watch.htm GameStop Employee Maced In Shocking Assault By 'Sonic' Fanboy Over Sonic's Arms: 'Sonichu' Creator Jailed]</ref> The article link has apparently been [[Twitter|tweeted]] 15 times, according to the website.

===ReviewTechUSA===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Chris Chan Assaults Gamestop Employee Over Sonic Boom
|video= {{#ev:youtube|2zBXTErUpbc}}
}}

On 2 January 2015, ReviewTechUSA made a video about the 26 December 2014 incident.

===The Mysterious Mr. Enter===
Animation reviewer The Mysterious Mr. Enter made a slight nudge at Chris while preparing to rant about the infamous "I Am Autism" commercial from [[wikipedia:Autism Speaks|Autism Speaks]] (one of many reasons why the organization is disliked among the autism community), saying that it "makes autistic people look worse than...I dunno, Chris-Chan does." Jump to 2:15 in the linked video--and by the way, that is a microphone, not a giant Icee cup.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Mr. Enter Speaks About Autism Speaks
|video= {{#ev:youtube|rMPNvcJtIR8}}
}}

===Game Grumps===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Leisure Suit Larry 6: Too Easy - PART 13 - Steam Train
|video= {{#ev:youtube|xbTmGQUWwjM}}
}}

{{quote|Ross: "You'll be like Sonichu- the electric hedgehog Pokémon."
Suzy: "Oh man, my dreams come true..."}}

In an episode of ''Steam Train'', Suzy walks into the Grump Room mid recording to quietly grab a blanket. Ross and Dan draw attention to her anyway, and they warn her they blanket is full of static electricity and it may just make her like Sonichu, to which Suzy is less than enthusiastic about. Jump to 6:00 for the whole conversation.

===SuperPrincessDaisy64===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Boom Shadow
|video= {{#ev:youtube|LtVamUVxMa8}}
}}

Chris appears at 1:13 where the song mocks him for disliking the blarms. Of note is that [[Wikipedia:Mike Pollock|Mike Pollock]], the TRUE and HONEST English voice actor for [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Eggman]], has commented on the video and given it his approval, meaning yet another of Chris's heroes is at least tangentially aware of his existence.

===Sega Acknowledges Sonichu Again===
On June 10, 2015, a fan asked the official [[Twitter]] account of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (which has been verified and everything) if [[Sonichu]] will be playable in ''[[Sonic Boom]]: Fire & Ice''.<ref>https://archive.is/eWfjQ</ref> Their response?

{{quote|Maybe, but only if we give Sonichu blue arms, three scarves, and ultimately just redesign him as Big the Cat.}}

===Crave Online Australia===
[[File:ChrisSonichuSupanova.png|thumb|200px|Cosplayers as Christian and Sonichu at Supanova Sydney in 2015]]
Crave Online, a website showcasing various video coverage from games, films, sports and others topics covered a convention in [[PandaHalo|Australia]] called Supanova in 2015. A duo cosplayed as Chris and Sonichu, making a brief reference to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo]] rejecting Chris's game proposal.<ref>http://www.craveonline.com.au/entertainment/articles/869761-watch-supanova-pop-culture-expo-2015-sydney-wrap</ref>

===Larry Bundy, Jr.===
Chris made a cameo appearance in the "''Apaches''" episode of ''Films Yanks Can't Wank'', during a mention of [[Jimmy Hill]]. Jump to 1:55 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Films Wanks Can't Wank - Apaches (HD)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|W3JjyoEhCuo}}
}}

===CatalystEXE===
CatalystEXE, most famous for being the voice of Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life, made a drawing of Christian, Rosechu (with a [[china]] for a mouth), a [[pickle]], and Sonic during a livestream. Watch from 46:12-58:21 in the video to see him draw the picture. He also made two comments regarding Christian.
[[File:Cata4.png|thumb|200px|The drawing in question. Reads: "My feet are so hot and sweaty from running around all day! Maybe you can help me cool off!"]]
[[File:Cata.PNG|thumb|200px|His first comment]]
[[File:Cata2.PNG|thumb|200px|His second comment]]
{{Infobox/video
|name= Art
|video= {{#ev:youtube|GCSVSpo6eRk}}
}}

===Drunken Peasants===
Chris appeared on the ''Drunken Peasants'' podcast (starring TJ, also known as [[Thorg|The Amazing Atheist]]) episode 129 on July 10, 2015.

{{Infobox/video
|name= TJ Slaps Stevie - Confederate flag Taken Down in SC - Stupid Ads - DPP #129
|video= {{#ev:youtube|pBC7EMkQzzI}}
}}

===Your Movie Sucks===
33 seconds into YMS's review of ''Cyberbully'', the infamous picture of Chris wearing Barb's bra and panties is shown when Adam says "You can control what you post." The photo was actually leaked, but the point still stands given that one can control what pictures they take of themselves.

{{Infobox/video
|name= YMS: Cyberbully (Full Review)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|fi8A-GHOo8c}}
}}

===Adam Baldwin's twitter===
On 5 December 2015, actor [[wikipedia:Adam Baldwin|Adam Baldwin]] tweeted an image showing photos of various people who are either opposed or supporitve of GamerGate. At the top of the image on its far left side a picture of Chris can be seen.<ref>[https://archive.is/2oxcX]</ref> The tweet was later on deleted.<ref>[https://twitter.com/adambaldwin/status/673221909681602560]</ref>

==Video Games==
===McPixel===
On 25 [[June 2012]], the indie game ''McPixel'' featured a homage to [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris' sexcapades with inanimate objects]] by having a special ending sequence depicting the titular character dry-humping a PS3 in the same stance Chris was.

{{Infobox/video
|name= McPixel Extra Ending
|video= {{#ev:youtube|TWHd_10zcaY}}
}}

===Goat Simulator===
[[File:Goat.jpg|thumb|300px|The goat unfortunately named Chris-Chan.]]
The "Goat MMO Simulator" DLC pack adds a simulated MMO mode that parodies games such as World of Warcraft. AI-controlled goats simulate the presence of other players, and their names are drawn randomly from a list of pre-generated names. 'Chris-chan' is one of the names on this list.

===Akinator the Genie===
"Chris-Chan Sonichu", "Sonichu", "Rosechu", "Magi-Chan", and "Bob Chandler" are guessable characters in the online/iOS game ''Akinator the Genie''.

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

CatKnight Interview 3

2016-02-06T23:09:54Z

Acrylicpaint:

<div class="#0033ff" id="incomplete">
{| cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" style="background-color: #ffff88; border: 2px solid #00B7EB; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"
|-
| [[Image:Stress.jpg|120px| ]]
| '''Chris section is still yet to be completed due to [[stress]].'''We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this section will be completed as soon as possible, and more images added, at our own pace...''[[HONEST]]!''
|-
|}</div>


[[CatKnight Interview 2|After two successful interviews]], [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] fan CatKnight/Master Disaster aka Sir Arthur Spatchcock, '''interviewed''' our favorite [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] Christine Weston Chandler for a third time on 2 February 2016.

== Highlights ==

Good ole Sir Arthur Spatchcock asked questions about some information about Chris's past he and his associates found here on the CWCki, such as the [[BlueSpike]] incident, death of Chris's pet cat Scamper, etc. Chris also performs his nightmare fuel [[Donald Duck impersonation]], and states he once received a Tupperware full of horse manure. The two then discuss a bit of business and Mr. Spatchcock suggest Chris do a demonstration of his incredible voice acting with his [[Sonichu Amiibo|Sonichu Amiibo]] and himself.

==Transcript==
'''Arthur:''' Hello, Christine? 
'''Chris:''' Yes, hello Arthur. 
'''Arthur:''' Oh, how are you doing today? 
'''Chris:''' I'm alright. 
'''Arthur:''' Fantastic— 
'''Chris:''' Al—alright—let's get down to the, uh, what are your new quesitons, what are your inquiries? 
'''Arthur:''' Well, yes, my associate has spent the last few days unfortunately looking over the C-W-C-I-K-I, what was it called again? 
'''Chris:''' The CWCki. 
'''Arthur:''' The CWCki. I see. Yes, they were overlooking it and they came across a few more slightly less than appropriate things and they really wanted to get some clarification about those. 
'''Chris:''' Yes... 
'''Arthur:''' I told them I'd contact you, and get the straight-and-narrow answers right from the horse's mouth. 
'''Chris:''' Yes. Alright, well, fire away. 
'''Arthur:''' Alright. Well, that's not all I have; I also have a few more Sonichu questions that are much more business-oriented, but let's get the ''horrible'' things out of the way first. How's that sound? 
'''Chris:''' Yes, that sounds very good. 
'''Arthur:''' Alright. Well, we're gonna start off right with the biggest issue, I think, it's—I'm going to call it the BlueSpike incident. 
'''Chris:''' Oh yes, the, uh, that was the uh, one of my theoretical ex-girlfriends, who turned out to be a, y—who turned out to be a troll, turned out to be an immature boy, I have no idea whether he's alive or not, whatever, still. B—but anyways, aside from that, and I—so I ended up making a drive all the way from Cleveland, Ohio, and uh... then I ended up with a fi—I ended up going to the address that was provided there, and, uh, d—and the p—em, BlueSpike was not there at all, just an old woman and the house looked run-down, nearly run down as well. 
'''Arthur:''' That's just horrible, why would someone do that? 
'''Chris:''' [''[[sigh]]''] Well, they're either bored, jealous, immature, what have you, all the stereo—amongst the sterotypical reasons. 
'''Arthur:''' I bet it was jealousy. Alright, now the next thing that falls into the same cate''gory'' is: did he actually have you—did y—I nee—I need to know if you faked this or not—did he actually have you insert broken pieces of your medallion into your rectum? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, unfortunately, that... is true. 
'''Arthur:''' That's just horrible. How could that happen? That's—I can't believe it. Oh my god. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I believe a—I believe at that time my PlayStation Network account was being held hostage as well... if I remember correctly. 
'''Arthur:''' Okay, okay, so he was holding your thing hostage, so you were just forced into a situation you didn't like. I could understand that. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, and then I—and then I—later on I finally realized that all the time I should have called Sony and actually had them, pa—re—patch up the password and that would have fixed it, I wouldn't have had to go through all that. So that's too—that's big lesson learned, and ingrained into my memory, against my will, pretty much. 
'''Arthur:''' Yes, it sounds horrible, I can't believe it myself, but it hurts me to think that happened to you. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Arthur:''' But enough about that, um, okay, we covered that, I'm glad we got that out of the way first and foremost, the um, the next thing is, um, it's not so much important, but they wanted to make sure because of, y'know, animal rights activists and whatnot, um, when your house burned down, which by the way: I feel for you, it's a horrible thing to have happen to anybody— 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Arthur:''' even though it wasn't the whole thing, thankfully, but still, um, there were rumours being passed around the CWCki, as you called it, that one of your pets died. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes, one cat. His name was Scamper—the, uh, cleaners found his body behind the toilet upstairs and—died of smoke inh—inhalation. 
'''Arthur:''' Oh, that's horrible. My—my heart goes out to you. 
'''Chris:''' Well, anyway, anyway—we buried his body in the back yard, and uh, and had a moment of silence there and all that. 
'''Arthur:''' It's a horrible way to lose a pet, but, you know, I understand that hopefully he didn't die painfully. 
'''Chris:''' [''[[sigh]]''] Well, I wish I could have—wish I'd known that he was up there, I would've gotten him out when we were all getting out. 
'''Arthur:''' Well, at least you're alive, and that's what matters. 
'''Chris:''' Yes. 
'''Arthur:''' Now that we've covered that, I mean, I mean, we don't want the animal rights activists to come running forward and think that you didn't care enough, you just let the pet die. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, I did care, and for a while we thought that he had gotten out, but we were not totally positive, but then we finally came to closure after the cleaners found the body, so—[''[[sigh]]''] my other cat Lucy missed him very much, but su—and, uh, recently we adopted another male cat from the SPCA, eh... 
'''Arthur:''' It's always nice to adopt rather than get a new kitten. It's always nice to adopt. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. And m—and I wanted to make sure it was an adult cat though, I didn't want to go for a kitten at the time, and it was male, so—eeyel, he and Lucy are getting along fairly well. 
{{Transcript}}

== Audio ==
Currently no video is available, but the audio is available to listen [https://soundcloud.com/cat-knight-430471584/interview3/s-U64WP here].

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]

SingStar Challenge

2016-02-06T21:37:22Z

Acrylicpaint: replacing dead video links

{{quote|Game on. ¡Abre la contesta!|[[Solid CWC]]}}

The '''SingStar Challenge''' was a video competition phase of the [[CWCivil War]], initiated by [[Solid Chris]].

==Introduction==
[[Image:SingStar_Competition.jpg|thumb|[[Liquid|Who]] will prevail?]]

Previously, Solid (posting under the YouTube handle [[IBAChandler]]) had attempted to reestablish his TRUE and HONEST identity with videos showcasing his multiple talents. This cunning plan backfired miserably, as [[Liquid Chris]] (posting as [[CChanSonichuCWC]]) outdone Solid's talents in his own videos. This included playing ''[[CWC_More_Than_A_Feeling#Response|More Than a Feeling]]'' on a real [[guitar]], shaming Solid's [[CWC More Than A Feeling|''Guitar Hero'' rendition]].

Butthurt that Liquid had an actual talent, Solid recognized that the clear solution was to formalize the contest, thus eliminating such dirty tricks.<ref name="KatieBayEmails3">[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>

==SingStar Challenge Announcement==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = SingStar Challenge Announcement
| image = {{#ev:youtube|aKZ1ORcxuM8}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 31 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]] Saga
| Shirt = {{ClassicShirt}} The Classic
| previous = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
| next = [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|Sonic Boom]]
}}
</center>
 
{{collapsible|Transcript|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge. I challenge you in a SingStar competition. The rules are simple. We are to each pick one song out of our libraries, our own playlists, and sing them verbatim with out any printed lyrics and with out any karaoke. 'Quipment.

(''picks up camera'')

And I will show you right now how fair I am. My room layout.

(''pans around his overstuffed-with-junk room'')

No karaoke equipment whatsoever.

(''camera returns to Solid in frame'')

(''[[sigh]]'') And if it-and also we must have the mp3s played behind us, so therefore no musical instruments its so-what so ever in any video. And... only... in song number five, no song before, we [''sigh''] will allow each other to pick one song and challenge the other with that song. And the deadline for each uh, up, each uploaded song is etsa-approximately 24 hours from the previous one. So your song number one will, the deadline for that will be 24 hours after I upload and p-start my first st-song. [sigh] So, with that we will soon be commencing with the first track, "Sonic Boom" [''holds up ''Sonic CD'' cover'']

(''jump cut'')

And with that I will be showing you my li'l lay out

(''camera once again turns to [[Chris's room|Solid's crap-laden room]]'')

my speakers over there,

(''camera moves to show some [[Lego]] bricks'')

my camera will sit here

(''camera moves back to Solid'')

the only thing that I ask anotherly—anotherly in this, no separate microphones but only the microphones on our webcamps. [holds up a mirror to reflect the camera]

(''jump-cut to Solid setting down the camera facing his bed and sits down into frame'')

(''jump-cut to Solid once again holding the camera on himself making the last jump cut meaningless'')

Oh, I forgot one thing, you may use your mp3 player of choice. My [[PSP]] is mine, attached to my speakers.

(''Solid once again sets down the camera'')

You may show me yours in your first video, Mr. Christian.

(''jump cut'')

Any mutiny against the rules I have set forth in this video will be [sigh] [dramatic glasses removal] not countable. And you will have to do it all over again.

(''jump cut to Solid throwing his [[glasses]]'')

And so with that

(''footage of the infamous [[That_Goatee_WILL_Grow_Back|shave]] is inserted'')

[starting to remove square medallion] Ow! [''removes square medallion, holds it up to the camera to read: '''The Good Life''''') [''starts to shave goatee dry''] [''after eleven seconds the head comes off the razor, Solid reattaches it and continues shaving, then sets razor down'']

(''jump cut'')

[''one second into new scene razor head falls off again, Solid reattaches again and continues to shave until [[Hair|goatee]] is mostly gone'']

(''jump cut'')

(''jump cut'')

—rst thing, no imported music. Which means no [[Anime|Japanese]], no [[Spanish]], no [[Wikipedia:German language|German]], no [[Chris and race|odd country]] language. Only [[English]]. Shame, would loved to play "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Star]]" or "Flame Sniper"<ref>[http://sailormusic.net/lyrics/Flame_Sniper.html]</ref> [''makes motion as if getting ready to fire an arrow from a bow'']

(''jump cut'')

And also, once a song has been sung, of that specific title, from that specific band, it will not be reusable in a future song. Neither by you, neither by me. Abide by the rules.

(''jump cut'')

[''Solid is once again holding the razor''] Game on. ¡Abre la contesta! [''Spanish for "Let the contest begin!", except that "contesta" is not a Spanish word; "¡Abre el concurso!" would be correct.'']
}}
 
{{collapsible|Rules between [[Solid Chris|The Original, Patriotic C.W.C.]] and [[Liquid Chris|the Brown-Striped Impostor C.W.C.]]|

-One Song At A Time from our individual Playlists. 
-Sing Without Printed Lyrics or Karaoke Equipment.. 
-Original MP3s must be played in background at appropriate audible volume.. 
-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or [[Guitar Hero]]/[[Wikipedia:Rock Band|Rock Band]]/[[Wikipedia:Rock Revolution|Rock Revolution]], etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO. .
-No Requests will be made from one Singer to the other BEFORE [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|the 5th Song]]. After the Brown One sings [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|Song 4]], he may choose the Encore Track for me to sing, then I will choose his Encore Track for him to sing.. 
-Deadline for Each Player: 24 Hours from one Singer's Uploading of their Singing Video (After [[August 2009|August 5, 2009]] at Noon EST). If I upload on 12:30 PM Monday the 3rd, the deadline for the Brown One will be 12:30 PM Tuesday the 4th, and vice-versa. . 
-Use of any MP3 Players Fully Encouraged for playing the Tracks. . 
-NO IMPORTED TRACKS (No Japanese, [[Spanish]], German, etc Tracks).. 
-ENGLISH TRACKS ONLY.. 
-NO Christian Weston Chandler Tracks, such as "[[So Need A Cute Girl]]", "[[Yellow Is A Mellow Color]]", etc. . 
-Once a Song, of that Title from That Artist has been sung, it Can Not be sung again by Either Player for the remainder of the Competition. My First Track is "Sonic Boom" from Pastiche; it is forbidden for it to be sung again by either Me or the Brown One for the remainder of the competition.. 
-NO Visual/Audio Video Edits for ALL SONG VIDEOS. No Dubbing Pre-recorded Audio over Video; ONLY Smooth Video One-Take Recordings Count (multiple takes towards final video are acceptable).. 

<nowiki>***</nowiki>Failure to comply by ANY of these Rules at ANY time during the competition shall be Disqualified, and the Last Player Sung shall be Named the Winner Forever.. 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>All Scores shall be tallied from accuracy of Lyric-Matching and praise from the watching audience, Officially by Judges that myself, and the Impostor will select THREE Close People, NO MORE THAN THREE FOR EACH OF US, on [[YouTube]].. 

My List of Judges will be Noted by their YouTube Handle on [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|My First Song]] for the Competition; I ask the man in brown to list his Judges' Handles on his First Video.. 

The DEADLINE for His First Video and Judge Selection will be Wednesday, August 5 at 12:00 NOON, EST.. 

Game On!}}

==Rounds==
{| class="wikitable"
! Round
! IBAChandler's song
! CChanSonichuCWC's song
|-
| '''[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|Round 1]]'''
| "Sonic Boom" by Pastiche (closing version; from ''Sonic CD'')
| "[[Wikipedia:You're Pitiful|You're Pitiful]]" by [[Wikipedia:"Weird Al" Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic]]
|-
| '''[[SingStar Challenge Round 2|Round 2]]'''
| "[[Wikipedia:Don't Say You Love Me (M2M song)|Don't Say You Love Me]]" by [[Wikipedia:M2M (band)|M2M]]
| "[[Wikipedia:The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air|The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air]]" by [[Wikipedia:Will Smith|Will Smith]]
|-
| '''[[SingStar Challenge Round 3|Round 3]]'''
| "Autumn Goodbye" by [[Britney Spears]]
| "[[Wikipedia:Heaven (Bryan Adams song)|Heaven]]" by [[Wikipedia:Bryan Adams|Bryan Adams]]
|-
| '''[[SingStar Challenge Round 4|Round 4]]'''
| "[[Wikipedia:The Touch (Stan Bush song)|The Touch]]" by [[Wikipedia:Stan Bush|Stan Bush]]
| "[[Wikipedia:It's All in Your Head|Think Twice]]" by [[Wikipedia:Eve 6|EVƎ 6]]
|-
| '''[[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Round 5]]'''
| "Smell Yo Dick" by Riskay (Opponent's request)
| "Lift Up Your Eyes" by [[Wikipedia:Planetshakers|Planetshakers]] (Opponent's request)
|}

==Awaiting the Judges' Ruling...==
After round five finished, Solid began a campaign against Liquid on various fronts, mainly through video:

*A "direct" confrontation between Solid and Liquid:
**[[Exposing Jeff]], where by his "detective work" he finds that CChanSonichuCWC's true name is "Jeff": this name is a callback to a previous trolling affair.
**[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], a video that shows the rage held by Solid over the accomplishments of his rival. He tries to demotivate Liquid by using his girlfriend, [[Kacey]], as a deterrent.
**[[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], where he threatens legal persecution and gives some anecdotes about his life, mainly [[Christopher's name change|his name change]] and again mentions Kacey.
**[[LOOK at the truth!]], where he tries a comparison between him and Liquid, acknowledging and reaffirming his failures. This is also a video that shows a side of Solid few people have the fortune of not seeing: his manboobs.
*Trying to steal [[Kacey]] from Liquid, by the pretense of her being in love to the "Real Deal" Chris and not the impostor. This resulted in the following videos:
**[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]], where Solid shows the viewers the process behind a [[Sonichu]] drawing. This insight reveals that Solid is incapable of holding a pen correctly and that the materials used are Crayola markers.
**[[For Kacey from CWC]], Solid tried to impersonate Liquid and invite Kacey to his home for visit.
**A [[Kacey_Phone_Call|telephone interchange between Solid and Kacey]], where Solid describes in graphic detail the sexual activities that he wants to do to her.

Liquid was not happy with these events and began his crusade for vindication:
*[[CChanSonichuCWC#Showdown|A telephone conversation]] between him and Solid, where he tries to convince Solid to drop his charade and accept that Liquid is, in fact, the TRUE and HONEST CWC. Solid loses it again, threatening Liquid with the police and involving [[Bob]] in his debacle.
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-fO5vF61Es Come CLEAN!] Liquid strikes again, exposing Solid's faults and weaknesses.

==Judges==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|colspan="2"|'''Name and [[YouTube]] handle'''
| '''CWC'''
| '''IBA'''
|-
| rowspan="3"|Judges chosen by CChanSonichuCWC<ref>[[SingStar Challenge Round 1]]</ref>
| [[Kacey Devoria]]
|align="center" |✘
|
|-
| SpazKid ([https://www.youtube.com/user/spazkidin3d spazkid])
|align="center" |✘
|
|-
| Seth
|align="center" |✘
|
|-
| rowspan="3"|Judges chosen by IBAChandler<ref name="KatieBayEmails3"/>
| [[Katie Bay]] ([https://www.youtube.com/user/katiebaybug katiebaybug])
|align="center" |✘
|
|-
| [[Kim Wilson]] ([https://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum])
|
|align="center" |✘
|-
| Unknown [[JERKS|dude]] judge
|
|align="center" |✘
|}

==A Winner: There Can Only Be One==

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = "I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aF-OqiCKDhY}}
| Stardate = 11 [[August 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] Music
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN.|Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up]]
}}

{{collapsible|Transcript|
[[Captain's Log]], Stardate August 11th, 2009.

Hello my loyal [[fanbase]], I would like to address the impostor, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], for a moment. I officially declare myself the winner of the SingStar Challenge contest between because your judges have not followed my rules—followed not—followed not—not followed any rules or uploaded any videos. My judges have been following the rules and giving me scores, therefore because you don't have any scores you're out of the running and I am the true Christian Weston Chandler. Now, I dun care if you're stealing my original works, and comic pages and arts, and uploading them to a dimpy little website where no one will see them, bec—while the true comics are about to be published by [[Wikipedia:Dark Horse Comics|Dark Horse Comics]]. Yes, you heard it right, Dark Horse is wary fent—they are working fenderlessly, furiously, to create and draw and write the first [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Episode 0 comic]] within accordance from [[Sega]] and [[Nintendo]]. Now they are also working with a certain [[Hex Box|Microsoft]] as well. My current on the project is they may hire me as production manager. So, you know, keep my fingers crossed. And another thing, I present to you another true Sonichu merchandise selling site is cwcstore.blogspot.com and it's your one stop shop for anything [[Sonichu]]-, [[Rosechu]]- or [[CWCville]]-related. I will show you a bit of the site right here. And on another note there uh uh gonna start selling [[Lego]] sets of CWCville along with uh, guides to the city. So, uh, be looking forward to that one, true believers! The uh, [[The Sonichu Chronicles|'''Sonichu Crystal Chronicles'']] games has come along pretty well. It's going to a, uh, [[Wikipedia:Role-playing video game|RPG-style game]], a role-playing game, and outside the city of CWCville. And, uh, it is currently being produced in tandem with Microsoft for the-mm, [[Hex Box|X-box 360]]. Look forward to the official revealing of it in the uh Da-Dallas Game Developers Conference. Ehm, anyways, uh, anyway, yeh, that's about it for now. Still making lots of money, rol—rolling in the—rolling in the dough, ya know and uh, WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS? Peace.

And to my, my darling sweetheart [[Kacey]], eventual, a light a magical lighthouse is randomly shone is a healing, guiding light upon previously shattered heart and tortured soul, and mending them back into good shape and form. One girl walked into my life like a [[Sailor Moon|sailor soldier]] who had just vanquished a heart snatcher. Bit by bit, I've noticed you're shining, lustrous hair, you're shiny blue Chaos Emerald-like eyes and personality—strong and caring, like a true buttercup bloom. I followed my recovered heart's instincts and followed you. As I got to know you over the months and my heart was growing stronger as I was falling for you. I blushed more strawberry pink than I ever had before and everything was shining like a sun's mellow color, yellow. For you I would travel even a thousand miles just to be with ya. Fortunately you lives only about two hours away from my house and uh, I meet you when we dates. This feeling that was, and still is, so pure and true, it's as if I was born to love you. When you smiles I feel like I'm walking on sunshine and I give my replying smile and gaze into your eyes. And your hair is the softest and most warm tingling. Cloud nine? I feel like I'm on ten! Kacey, my love, will you marry me? [''Holds up a Rosechu medallion and [[Creepy stare|creepily stares]] around the room''] Peace.}}

==Aftermath==
Even to [[slow-in-the-minds]], it was clear that several rules contradicted themselves immediately, such as not being allowed [[Wikipedia:karaoke|karaoke]] equipment but being allowed to play the song itself in the background. Happily, Solid couldn't have chosen a worse medium for a duel, as [[Chris and music|Solid is so tone deaf]] he doesn't even realize that he is tone deaf. In his mind, his singing voice had "a [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]] or [[Wikipedia:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]] [[Chris_and_reality|flavor]],"<ref>[[Sonichu_Girls#Introduction]]</ref> making him a sure-fire winner.

After losing the contest, Solid uploaded [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]], where he pulled a massive [[retcon]] out of his ass and said the contest was just for fun.

This [[saga]] marked a new take on [[Jimmy Hill|previous attempts]] to make Solid believe that someone else was taking all the fame and glory of his [[Sonichu]] creation. By confronting a doppelgänger who was successful in everything he tried to be, Solid began to show a violent side of his psyche. While fruitlessly trying to prove that he was the [[TRUE and HONEST]] person, his actions produced a surge of content unparalleled to anything produced in [[2009]], even to the point of jump-starting the production of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009]]|nextlink=[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]|}}

{{SingStarChallenge}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:SingStar Challenge]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-31]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-07-31]]

MEOW

2016-02-06T21:25:49Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead video link

{{quote|I did this Meow in the video; probably my best [[cat]]-call ever. :D Laugh it up. :D|[[Chris]]}}

'''MEOW''' is the shortest video that Chris has ever done, released on 24 [[April 2009]]. This video depicts Spas, an anthropomorphic [[cat]], playing the piano at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|Chris's wedding]] whilst Chris makes a meowing sound.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = MEOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|I2Ish7If0GY}}
| stardate = 24 [[April 2009]]
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]]
| next = [[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''an empty annotation box appears around Spas's face, revealing “Here's the kitty!” when hovered over''] ''Meeeooowww!''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]]|nextlink=[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]|}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-24]]

CWC Update 13 August 2009

2016-02-06T21:21:57Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead video link

[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|right|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown—my right is green."]]

"'''CWC Update 13 August 2009'''" (officially "'''CWC Update 08132009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] addresses the current state of the [[SingStar Challenge]] competition, declaring it, as of this date, currently ongoing.

This video was made after [[CChanSonichu]] declared himself the winner due to the inactivity of Chris's judges. As if that wasn't enough, Chris then goes back into his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special|stupid DJ charade]] once more to play some more songs.

It is also worth noting that this is the first time in a while that Chris has actually logged the date of the Captain's Log correctly.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 13 August 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aYSqcNQVLnQ}}
| stardate = 13 [[August 2009]]
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Update 12 August 2009]]
| next = [[CWC Public Disclaimer]]
}}
{{quote|My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown— my right is green. My right eye is green. Color change, you know.}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate August 13th, [[2009]].

I'm sorry to delay the song a little bit longer but, huh, yes, the [[SingStar Challenge]] has not been completed officially. The six judges now have to discuss them amongst themselves in private messages on the [[YouTube]] or in person if they have that capability. To discuss the manner and get the winner in majornily—in majority and after they have decided fully they will each submit the name of the final winner on the individual YouTube accounts. Audio only with their voices or with text, anyway it's fine in any case, the winner is not final. Sorry Mr.—Mr. Christian Weston Chandler, born with that name. You are not the winner yet. And also you can never be the original creator of [[Sonichu]] or [[Rosechu]] because your birth name is not Christopher and you cannot have anything like that, without the first name Christopher. So neither, you can't have that. [''Grabs camera to zoom in to his eyes''] With both eyes being green and [''focuses on left eye''] my left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown—my right is green. My right eye is green. [[Heterochromia|Color change, you know.]]

Anyway, also with that, as promised in the station [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special|KCWC Special Dedication]] during the lunch hour we have found a couple of tracks from The White Stripes and we will playing them for Ms. KissMeKate by now, so take it away, White Stripes.

[''Chris plays "Black Math" and "In The Cold, Cold, Night Lyrics" by The White Stripes while showing the cover of [[Guitar Hero]] II'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]]|nextlink=[[CWC Public Disclaimer]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-08-13]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-13]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-08-13]]

Brutal Legend Plus

2016-02-06T15:35:54Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

"'''Brutal Legend Plus'''" is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 21 [[October 2009]]. It was shot and released 3 days after Chris made a [[Brutal Legend|video with a similar name]], but only just then realized that the video he shot prior had no audio at all.

The video also features an additional message that invoked much [[rage]] and [[lulz]] from the online community.

Due to the [[Chris and cinematography|heavy abuse]] Chris's [[PSEye|camera]] endured [[Chris Loses It|during the last month]], the sound is crappy as hell and the video is skipping quite a lot. The [[plush breasts]] are still in the left bottom of the screen; they have not moved since the last video.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Brutal Legend Plus
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cA4gE9QfoxE}}
| stardate = 21 [[October 2009]]
| maker = Chris
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Brutal Legend]]
| next = [[For_Chris#IBA's video|For Chris]]
}}
{{quote|You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your basements!}}

=== Transcript ===
Hmm. Hello again. I apologize for the, uhh, last video not having audio. [[Chris Loses It|I don't understand how that could happen]], I mean, I used the same camera. Hm. But oh well. I'll check it before I upload this one. Anyways, uh just to, uh reiterate myself, I establish the common ground that, uhhh, definitely makes me sociable. ''[[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]]''! Uh yeah this is an awesome game! I mean between the game rating between the magazine people and G4, they underestimate it. They should have given it perfect they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.

Hmm. But anyway This game rocks-this game rocks. It's like ''[[wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time|Zelda: Ocarina of Time]]'', ''[[wikipedia:Burnout Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]'', and ''[[God of War]]'' with a dash of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', all spliced together in this thing! Totally awesome. But be careful to— It's rated M for Mature. But fortunately the, uh blood and gore can be turned on or off as well as the, uh, bleeped, as well as the, uh, bleeped words they can be turned on or off that... the bleep. So you know parents if your children want the legend, you know, let them know about [[Chris and reality|the difference between fact and fiction]] and uh bloody murder and whatnot before you, before you give your full consent, er yah. Tell them know you can turn the blood scenes on and off as well as the uh, censored words.

Anyways. Hmmmuh. Jack Black did a great job as well as the guest stars. ''[ Hits his head with the [[Gitar of Fail]]]'' So I raise my axe in victory and in honor of the game! ''[Throws up the horns]'' Rock onnn! Rock on! Rock on!

And with that now—I will now end it there and I will, bring a new topic. Huh. Trolls are still trying to-trick are still trying to tick me off. You know what? My [[Chris and copyright|creativity]] will not be stifled! I'll tell you what—this much. Um. Nice [[Duck|tip]]! You know try to get into my McDonald's Point Monopoly Gameplay. You know what? [???] so much worthier response so... Hahahah! AHHHHH! [''whispers''] You're so dumb. ''[normal]'' So I'll tell you what here's a response: ''[Sudden falsetto]'' Oh no! Not my mon—not my ''Monopoly'' game pieces! what would I ever do without them! Neeeaaaa! ''[Normal voice]'' Aa ha ha ha! Ahhh you're so pitiful. You want with that? To quote my [[Liquid|friend]] of mine who I give my blessings to between him and his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. I thank him for ending this charade.

''[Fails at making the L for loser, sings off-key, presumably trying to sing [[wikipedia: "Weird Al" Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic]]'s "You're Pitiful"]'' [[Chris and hypocrisy|You're pitiful!]] You're pitiful! You're pitiful it's true! You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your [[Chris's room|basements]]! Dang dirty trolls! You're pitiful! ''[Normal voice]'' The pity-ful! You're pitiful! So there!

Peace out.

''[Cut to Chris holding Gi-tar of Fail]'' Actually also, one more thing. In address to the trolls. ''[Dramatic glasses removal]'' Get a life! Get a life!

==See also==
*[[SingStar Challenge Round 1]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Brutal Legend]]|nextlink=[[For Chris]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-21]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-21]]

15 October 2009

2016-02-06T15:32:58Z

Acrylicpaint: replacing dead video links

[[File:LiquidJustAsPlanned.jpg|thumb|HE'S BAAAACK.]]
"'''15 October 2009'''" (officially "'''10152009'''") is a video where [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] acknowledges the [[CChanSonichuCWC#The_Return_of_the_King|return of the TRUE and HONEST Chris]]. He also continues to "call out" [[Clyde Cash]]/[[Gregg Mays]].

The introduction "[[Captain's Log]]" is absent in this video, as with some recent videos, to the relief of ''Star Trek'' fans everywhere.

'''Official description:''' [none]

==Background==
Earlier that evening, Liquid posted his first video in months describing the trials and tribulations of the past few months:

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ni8d6CRSD1o}}
| stardate = 15 [[October 2009]]
| maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| subject = {{Rumors|text}} {{Homos|text}}
| previous = [[Liquid_Chris#The End|GONE]]
| next = [[For Chris|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK.]]
}}

Liquid describes his heroic survival as he was kidnapped, force fed [[tobacky]], then brutally assaulted and [[rape]]d in the [[homo|ass]]. Liquid found himself in the middle of the [[Wikipedia:Sahara Desert|Sahara]] where he journeyed for miles, seeking water, and as he was about to die from thirst, some "friendly [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|Aladdin]] people" came to his rescue and helped him return to his home of [[Ruckersville]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 15 October 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w6iRjij8CPU}}
| stardate = 15 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[War Paint Video]]
| next = [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud]]
}}

{{quote|I will only respond to him this one time because he is a lowly troll, and I just do not give a dang about him.}}

=== Transcript ===
October 15th, [[2009]].

Yes I have uh, reseen the, uh...return of the impostor in the blipe--in the brown stripes. [''[[stress sigh]]''] He dares call me by that stupid Ian name? [''grunts and shakes head''] Stupid. Everybody know that is fa--that that name is fake.

Anyway, the on--I will only respond to him this one time because he is a lowly [[troll]], and I just do not give a dang about him. I mean, come on, his story, I mean like, you know, being put in a meat factory, Sahara Desert, [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|''Aladdin people?!'']] Huh. And also, he coulda easily put, he could have easily taken the drugs himself, even to make his [[Chris and sex|''own'' ass bleed]]. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow [[Pedofork|R. Kelly]]'s bathroom, or Roberta when she fought off 6 Al-Qaedas, ''one by one''! ''[[Family Guy|The Cleveland Show]]'', new episodes Sun--every Sunday on Fox, and episodes downloadable on [[PlayStation Network]], and iTunes. ''Cleveland Show''! [''laughs retardedly'']

Ah, anyway, the main concern here is that defintly--uh, definitely me drawing the comic pages which I am still doing...and, takin' down, the [[Billy Mays]]/Clyde Cash whoever the hell he is. Do not beli--and continue to ''not believe''...that...his name may be Christian Weston Chandler, but everybody knows that he is not the original guy, I am. The guy was born in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], his birth name was Christopher.

So there.....and I'm still here. I'm still waitin' for ya, Gregg Mays. I know where you are. You are...within this state of [[Virginia]]. And I am still waiting for you...to accept my challenge.

Anyway, aside from that, expect a few more pages this weekend on the [[CWCipedia]]: the official [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] site. Thank you and have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[War Paint Video]]|nextlink=[[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-15]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-15]]

War Paint Video

2016-02-06T15:19:55Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

[[Image:Megatron pistol.jpg|thumb|A traditional [[Megatron pistol|weapon]] of the [[Cherokian Clan]]]]

The '''War Paint Video''' (officially titled '''10142009''', not be confused with [[Challenge for Clyde II|another video with same title and posted the same day]]) is a video in which [[Chris]] delivers some sort of poem to the [[trolls]] while wearing "Amerindian" face paint. He then proclaims his proud [[Cherokee]] heritage while at the same time showing a complete [[honor roll|lack of knowledge]] about anything to do with Native American culture by [[Chris and race|repeating tired old Native American stereotypes]].

Also, if one looks close enough, the outline of Chris's [[muscle bra]] is visible through his shirt. There is also a set of [[Plush Breasts]] in the lower left corner of the frame (they are more easily seen in the later [[Brutal Legend]] video).

In July 10, 2015, This video was shown on the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBC7EMkQzzI Drunken Peasants Podcast].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = War Paint Video
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7R66MxmxinU}}
| stardate = 14 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
| next = [[15 October 2009]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''drops [[PS3]] controller; it thunks twice''] Calling all trolls! Calling all trolls! You are at--we are at war! This is war! I will not stand idly by while you [[Chris and English|take heed]] and mock and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] [[Gal-pals|my friends]] and [[Borb|my family]]. For [[Chris and reality|you have dishonored me]], and I will not stand for it! As I stand upon my native Cherokee heritage, I will-[[Death threats|I will hunt you down you damn dirty trolls!]] This is war. '''AIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAI'''-'''''YAAAAAOIIII!!!'''''

[''produces the [[Megatron pistol]] seen in [[CWC is Angry]]''] [[Chris and English|Put down your wares and bring yourselves unto me]]. I will hun--or I will hunt you down and really smite thee! You have been warned with the Cherokee ancestry.

[[Wikipedia:How (greeting)|How]].

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = How Could You, Chris?
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hiiMeui27Qg}}
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/OhhhMyAxels OhhhMyAxels]
| stardate = 15 [[October 2009]]
}}

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[ECV 00001]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|nextlink=[[15 October 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-14]]

Challenge for Clyde II

2016-02-06T15:17:49Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

"'''Challenge for Clyde II'''" (originally "'''10142009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] demands [[Clyde Cash]]/[[Gregg Mays]] come face him, so that Chris can beat him up. He claims that Gregg Mays lives in [[Charlottesville]], and that he knows this because he has the [[Chris and the Law|FBI working for him]]. The audio quality in this video is very poor, probably due to Chris's constant abuse of his [[PSEye|camera]]. Between his slow, monotonous speaking pattern (possibly enhanced as he tries to speak through his [[Chris and anger|rage]]) and the constant skipping in the audio, Chris manages to sound even more like a robot than usual.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Challenge for Clyde II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|63XmXCQAlaY}}
| stardate = 14 [[October 2009]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Loses It]]
| next = [[War Paint Video]]
}}
{{quote|I've had my detectives and police forces and FBI working to track you down.}}

=== Transcript ===

Look, Mr. Gregg Mays, Clyde Cash, whatever your name is. I know you are within the city of [[Charlottesville]] and I'm still waiting for you. I am the target you want. You do not need to attack my friends or my family or anybody else. All you want is me. So you come over here and face me, man. Because I know you are a coward, just behinding—hiding behind the veil of the Internet. ''[makes a "box" motion with his hand]''

And the veil of the Internet is not as safe as you think it is. I know, because [[Chris and reality|I've had my detectives and police forces and FBI working to track you down]]. And I kn-and we know that you are within Charlottesville, Virgina. ''[annoyed sigh]'' There is no denying that. You are in no other state at this point within these United States. So you could jus-so just give it up. You come to me now. Come face me like a man. Unless you want to continue being called a cow-a quivelling coward who hides under his mother's skirt.

You... I dare not hide, because I show myself every day. I try... I do my best to keep to keep you at bay, and I am doing [what] I can. I want—and I want you to back off my friends and come face me man to man. Because you cannot hide anymore. You cannot hide anymore. You come face me. You face me in person, face to face. There is no substitute for the in-person... That. [[Challenge for Clyde|And I will beat you up]]. So lay off. My friends and my-my other... ''[emphatically]'' my friends and [[Chandler Family Tree|my family]], and come face me, man to man. I'll leave you with that. Come face me. ''[bares [[fangs]]]'' I am waiting. I'm still waiting. Don't make me wait too much longer.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Loses It]]|nextlink=[[War Paint Video]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-14]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-10-14]]

Warning - Naughty Women ;)

2016-02-06T15:15:06Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

{{Honest}}
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]
[[Image:CWCRockin4Gay.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual..."]]

'''Warning - Naughty Women ;)''' (officially '''10102009 Warning - Naughty Women. ;)''') is a video in which [[Chris]] tries to use [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], a drawing of himself [[Fuck Quest|having sex]] with three female members of his [[Guitar Hero]] "rock band" as evidence against allegations that he's a [[homos|homosexual]]. He also specifically points out that one of them is [[Niggos|"half-and-half"]] to refute accusations of [[Racism|racism.]]

Of course, by trying to pass a drawing off as a photograph, all Chris really proves is that he lacks the ability to [[Chris and reality|distinguish fantasy from reality]] ''(either that, or that he's an outright idiot.)'' He also accuses trolls of being immature, while showing off a Rule 34 drawing he did of his virtual harem from a video game. Real mature, Chris.

==Video==

'''Official description:''' Warning - Naughty Women. ;)

{{Infobox/video
| name = Warning - Naughty Women ;)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fo7hxPidfk8}}
| stardate = 10 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[9 October 2009]]
| next = [[Challenge for Clyde]]
}}

{{quote|Huh? Huh? Look at it! Look at it! I'm having sex with three women!}}

=== Transcript ===

Hmm, [[Captain's Log|Captain's Log]]. [[CWCki:DATING|The 10th of October 2009]].

Now. I would like to make it perfectly clear, but first I would like to state... THE update [''dramatic [[glasses]] removal''] that will be on the [[CWCipedia]] tomorrah-uh-duh-later tonight or tomorrow. A few more pages for the numb nine book. So, look forward to that [''short pause''] good viewers.

Now, for those who DARE continue to mislabel me as dang [[homos|''gaaaaay'']], homosexual, or bisexual, uggh... ''[shakes head]'' I'm straight. I. Am. Straight.

[''Chris approaches the [[camera]] by maneuvering around something off-screen, grabs the camera, and holds it close to his face'']

And I tell you what. If I was a s-homosexual or anything like that, would I not-would I be having sex...

[''angles camera down and shoves [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] fully into the frame, with strips of paper taped over the genitals and nipples, [[Manboobs|including Chris's]]'']

..with THREE WOMEN? Huh? Huh? Look at it! Look at it! [[Chris and reality|I'm having sex with three women]], and you know what? The one in the middle is [[niggos|half-and-half!]]

[''Chris points camera back at his enraged face'']

I am STRAIGHT. Get through your damn dirty immature skulls!

[''sets camera back down with a forceful thud, meanders back to where he was originally standing by awkwardly stepping over the object from earlier, takes a moment to set himself'']

Thank you very much [''flashes victory sign with fingers''] and have a good day.

[''bends down to the controller to halt recording'']

==Remix==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ZOpGtblij8Y }}
| stardate = 10 [[October 2009]]
| maker = AngusHiggens
| subject = {{Homos|text}}
| type = Remix
}}
== See also ==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], about the drawing itself.
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and reality]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[9 October 2009]]|nextlink=[[Challenge for Clyde]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-09]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature| 2009-10-09]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-10-09]]

9 October 2009

2016-02-06T15:13:01Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

"'''9 October 2009'''" (officially "'''10092009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] states that [[Barbara]] does not have AIDS, that he is [[Homo|straight]], and that the [[trolls]] should [[Chris and hypocrisy|GROW UP]].

'''Official description:''' [none]

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 9 October 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rt-KIjQW2nk}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[29 September 2009]]
| next = [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)]]
}}

{{quote|My mom does not have AIDS.}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: October 9th, 2009.

I have a, uh, couple of small [[Da Update (CWC-ism)|updates]] that I wish to, uh, dispel the rumors about... such.

[''[[Pedo-Glasses|Dramatic glasses removal]]'']

Uh, number one, [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] WAS at a hospital recently, but SHE DOES NOT HAVE AIDS. Which is a dang—[''wipes his forehead with the side of his wrist''] dan-uh-dang STD that di-dat-em-eh-dat [''waves to the [[PSEye|camera]]''] makes your immune system go awry, makes it worse—make it—makes it worse [''waves to the camera again''] for colds to get in, but my mom does not have AIDS. She went to the hospital because we thought it was [''waves to the camera a third time''] food poisoning from bad [[China|Chinese]] food. But turned out dah—it turned out that it was colitis, TRIGGERED by s—the spicy food, so my mom can no long—can not eat spicy or sugary foods or [[CWC Cola|drinks]].

Colitis is an infection of the colon. You can look it up on the Wik...ipedia.<ref>[[wikipedia:Colitis|look it up on the Wik...ipedia]]</ref>

And also, I wish to reiterate ANOTHER TIME. '''I'''... '''AM'''... [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|'''STRAIGHT''']]. I am so sick of being mislabeled as such. Quit e-mailing me with those dang, dirty stupid comments! I am NOT [[Homos|GAY]], I am NOT BI-SEXUAL, I am STRAIGHT. Get through your damn, dirty, stupid, idiotic, immature skulls, and while you're at it [''raises hand for illustrative emphasis''] grow up! [[wikipedia:Pot calling the kettle black|Grow up!]]

[''long pause, grunt''] Y'all being really immature in going on with these stupid rumor-spreadings. Because you're—'cause-shh [''pause''] you don't know whe'er they're true or not, and [[List of Chris's lies|if you don't know whe'er there if they're true or not, then don't say anything]]. I'll leave you with that, and I am still working on the [[Sonichu 9|comic pages]], and [''wipes the side of his head with the back of his wrist''] the [[CWCipedia]] will be update—will have another update... this weekend.

[''peace sign''] Peace out, and have a safe day.

==References==

<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[29 September 2009]]|nextlink=[[Warning - Naughty Women ;)]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-09]]

29 September 2009

2016-02-06T15:11:06Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

"'''29 September 2009'''" (officially "'''09292009'''") focuses on [[Chris]]'s claims of a "Director's Cut" version of the [[DVD]]. He also claims [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Clyde Cash]] to be one and the same, and reiterates it several times in case the viewers are as dense as he is.

He's not dressed in one of his [[Chris and fashion|usual shirts]] in this video, and he doesn't seem used to the lack of a collar because he keeps bunching the shirt up to keep the [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]]'s band off of his neck. Given the shirt, the sweating, the messy hair, the wavering voice, and that this took place when Chris was in contact with [[Kacey]], it's possible that Chris had just returned from a jog when he made the video. [[Chris and health|And was about ready to pass out]].

'''Official description:''' [none]

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 29 September 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YqeuNGP08WA}}
| stardate = 29 [[September 2009]]
| subject = {{Website|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| previous = [[25 September 2009]]
| next = [[9 October 2009]]
}}
{{quote|Y'all didn't get as much as ya got, ya dang, dirty trolls!}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's log]], Stardate: [[September 2009|September 29, 2009]].

[''adjusts glasses''] Let's get a few things straight here. I, uh, would like to, ah, propose and put forward the supposed copyright stealing which I am here to prove that it is false, because, you know, that is only an image; you can type anything in, make it look like whatever in Photoshop. And, also, this Gregg Mays, I know for a fact that this guy is [[Clyde Cash]], or the past character of Clyde Cash, because Clyde Cash used the [''cleans his forehead with the shirt he is wearing''] "GreggMays@gmail.com" email address to pretend to be a Gregg Mays to—of [[Nintendo|some sort of video game company]] or something... but he later admitted that he was Clyde Cash!

But, anyway, I did my web searches and all that of Clyde Cash and Gregg Mays. Other than the fake pictures and whatnot, there is no record whatsoever of this [''removes his glasses''] Gregg Mays or Clyde Cash. I even, on any of any of the addresses or birth dates that they provided... [''puts glasses back''] that this guy has provided in any form or matter, from communication or hacking or whatever, this—Gregg Mays and Clyde Cas—this guy has been acting as either one of those guys. Gregg Mays and Clyde Cash wer—are and were both fake. They're nonexistent. Just like in the act—just like the TV actors, Clyde Cash and Gregg Mays—they're about as fake and fictional as [[Wikipedia:Elaine Benes|Elaine Benes]] from ''[[Seinfeld]]'', [[Wikipedia:Chandler Bing|Chandler]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Friends|Friends]]'', or [[Wikipedia:Monica Geller|Monica]] from ''Friends'', or [[Wikipedia:Phoebe Buffet|Phoebe]]! Or even Archie Bunker from ''All in the Family'', Fred Sanford on ''Sanford and Son'', and George Jefferson on ''The [[Niggos|Jeffersons]]''. I would like to reiterate that I like those actors and the characters they portray... but I have yet to see this guy [''cleans sweat from his forehead''] actually show his face in real life ever, showing off his photo ID with his name, either being "Gregg Mays" or "Clyde Cash" or whatever—whatever his real name is, the one that his mother gave to him at birth.

And I even throw in the question about him ever actually going out to Australia and having his forced way with my past [[PandaHalo|Australian gal pal]] who died in the Australian brush fires. I mean, there's—if this guy never existed, he never went to Australia. Even [[Robert Simmons V|Robert Simmons]] claimed to have gone there and witnessed the whole thing, and he was a proven troll! So, therefore, I '''fur'''—I further emphasize the fact that this Gregg Mays is a fake, a fraud, a phony!

And I even come at—he just hides behind his mother's skirt, [''removes glasses''] would never dare to show his real life face, or show who he actually was. And I actually question his relation to the bee-yotch troll, [[Vivian Gee]]! I question that.
[[Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|thumb|right|Cover and contents of the ''Directors Cut''.]]
[''leans forward, to grab a [[DVD]] case''] Oh, and another thing—about as fake as every last one of those supposed pieces of merchandise on that quote/unquote Sonichu store. Even a DVD! I have heard rumors about even past vicious content being copied on the [[DVD]], aside from the printed list on the back of the DVD. And you know what? You got less than what you bargained for, the first guy who got a copy of my DVD! Even though all that stuff was real, I have the director's cut: the one and only director's cut. And how it differs from the distributed copies: only the director's cut has the videos from my family's Christmas, [[2004]], age 22, December 25, 2004. And, also, even the first PS—[[Pixelated PS3]] attempts, where I had the [''grabs his PS3 with his left hand''] [[Lego]] PS3—Lego/Pixelblock PS3—and actually had it hooked up a, um, thing—a makeshift Lego PSP to PS2 to USB connector, you know, like, uh, to connect a PS2 controller to a PS3 console. And I hooked up my [[Guitar Hero]], my PS2 [[Gitar of Fail|guitar]] to it, and actually played "Thunderhorse". While this was shown, I was actually playing on my original PS2.

That and more photographs, more stuff in the slide show differs from the distributed copies that were [''cleans forehead again''] distributed amongst family and whatever, and what this guy got... is only on the director's cut. Read for yourself! Read it for yourself. Title 11: "The Family Christmas", and title 13: "The First PS3 Attempts". Look on the back of the, uh, distributed DVD! You'll see what I'm talking about. And you know what? It don't even have that nice little label on it... or the list of family members and relatives! Or even the horoscope from my 25th birthday, February 24, 2007.

'''So'''... y'all didn't get as much as ya got, ya dang, dirty trolls. Y'all didn't get all the stuff that was originally on the DVD, [''adjusts his shirt's collar, so that the Medallion's chain can't touch him''] 'cause you did not get the director's cut. So, anyway, Sonichu's copyright is still mine. It's still mine, and I have officially registered it! And I reiterate, this Gregg Mays—Clyde Cash—whoever he is, he is a fake! I dare him—I challenge this individual... who plays these characters... to actually come out to [''cleans forehead''] my home address and show and reveal and show hims—and prove himself to me, whoever he is. And I know it's the same guy, 'cause I heard his voice recently over the telephone and recognized it from the past times when I talked to quote/unquote Clyde Cash on the phone. That high pitched, drunk, whiny, nasally... voice of his! That same God damn voice... I remember it so well.

Alright, well, anyway, I'll leave you with all that, and I am still drawing the pages for the ''Number 9'' book, and I am working on the ''Number 10'' book, as well. Only from me, Christian Weston Chandler (birth name [[Christopher's name change|"Christopher"]]) of [[Ruckersville]], Viriginia, USA! And, also, I would like to reference the public disclaimer video also on my You—on this, my ori—my offish d—on my official [[YouTube]] account, and everything Sonichu and Rosechu officially is on the [[CWCipedia]], AKA... "The Original CWC's Sonichu Site", also known as "Sonichu and Rosechu Site". All other websites (aside from this YouTube and the CWCipedia) are false! Peace out, and have a safe day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[25 September 2009]]|nextlink=[[9 October 2009]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-29]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-09-29]]

25 September 2009

2016-02-06T15:08:53Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

"'''25 September 2009'''" (officially "'''09252009'''") is a video addressing fake websites and unofficial [[Sonichu]] merchandise.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 25 September 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ptV10pWJ07o}}
| stardate = 25 [[September 2009]]
| subject = {{Website|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteBlackTrimShirt|text}}
| previous = [[19 September 2009]]
| next = [[29 September 2009]]
}}
=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Hot Chocolate.jpg|thumb|Cover of the "Hot Chocolate" comic Chris was trolled with.]]

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate September 25th 2009.

I wish to, uh, elaborate to everybody on the Internet and everybody in my [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fanbase]]. The true, only, sole, legitimate, official websites for Sonichu and Rosechu and everything of that sort are [[CWCipedia]] and this, the [[YouTube#ChristianWChandler .28August 2009 - present.29|ChristianWChandler]] [[YouTube]] page, that this video originated from. Now, this uh, web—uh, this, uh, [http://www.youtube.com/user/ChrisWChandler ChrisWChandler] YouTube guy, he's an impostor, he's selling fake merchandise, do not buy from him whatsoever, it's not official, and you are—and you are aiding and abetting an illegal guy—a guy who is committing fraud, a scam artist, a con artist. Do not buy into him. Completely ignore him.

And, also, this, uh, google.com/CW—I mean, this <nowiki>http://sites.google.com/site/sonichusite/home Google.com/SonichuSite</nowiki>: that's not mine, either; that is a fake website, and this, uh, "[[Homos|Hot Chocolate]] comic" I've heard about through e-mails: that is not mine either, so, disregard that website. Forget about it, because that is a fake. Someone else did that... behind my back. Okay? Anyway, I am continuing work on the, on m—on my original pages... and I'm doing it one moment at a time. I just wanted to let y'all know that.

Peace out, and have a good day.

{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[19 September 2009]]|nextlink=[[29 September 2009]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-25]]

19 September 2009

2016-02-06T15:06:31Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

"'''19 September 2009'''" (officially "'''09192009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] addresses a [[troll]] selling fake [[Sonichu]] merchandise.

'''Official description:''' [none]

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 19 September 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|46XUcQBGzhI}}
| stardate = 19 [[September 2009]]
| shirt = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Clyde Cash the kid video]]
| next = [[25 September 2009]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: September 19th, [[2009]].

Hmm. Hey, please ignore the, uh, mess behind me, because, y'know, I've just used this card table for making my [[Official Videobooks|videobooks]] upon. I've just finished doing the videobook fer, videobooks for [[Sonichu 8|book number 8]].

Anyway, uh, I'm making this video to let everybody know that this, uh, acc—[[YouTube]] account user, uh, one word '[http://www.youtube.com/user/ChrisWChandler ChrisWChandler]'. He's a fake; he's an impostor; do not believe him, and his impostorous imitation merchandise...—quote/unquote merchandise, it's all slipshod... fake. Do not buy into 'em, okay?

I can te—I can te—I tell you this right off the bat, I have—I have no—I have nothing to do with him, and, y'know, I keep getting the, uh, emails about e—emails, y'know. Uhh, yeah, this is basically like, y'know, yeah, he's scamming y'all. Err—uh, y'all who's bought anything from there, don't buy any more, and nobody else buy anything from there. That guy is an impostor! He's a scammer. He's a fraud.

So, don't buy a damn—a new—k—anymore. Okay? Thank you.

Peace.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Clyde Cash the kid video]]|nextlink=[[25 September 2009]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-09-19]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-19]]

Chris dispels videogame rumors

2016-02-06T15:04:56Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

"'''CWC 09132009'''" is a video, uploaded on 13 [[September 2009]], in which [[Chris]] dispels rumors that the recently announced [[Sonic]] game, codenamed ''Project Needlemouse'', would actually be a [[Sonichu]] game. He comes to this statement based upon information he got from the [[ED]] forums, the discovery of which he seems to consider [[Trolls#Chris the Troll|a massive achievement]].

At the end of the video, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] can be heard off-camera.

(For the record, the game was announced on December 4th to be ''Sonic the Hedgehog 4''.)

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris dispels videogame rumors
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fAEdL-lack4}}
| stardate = 13 [[September 2009]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedPokeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[10 September 2009]]
| next = [[Clyde Cash the kid video]]
}}
{{quote|D, Vivian G, D! Just like Sideshow Bob would say to Bart in that one episode that he had on his frontside.}}

=== Transcript ===

Okay, you're rockin' it again, before we begin this installment of the [[video book|Official Videobooks]] series, let's turn to me for a moment, because I have a couple of brief announcements to make, dudes! Like number—like number one, the, uh, the s—stores that—on the Internet that are selling quote/unquote merchandise? IT'S NOT OFFICIAL! IT'S NOT REAL! [''takes off [[glasses]]''] You're being scammed! You might as well throw it in the garbage, burn it, return it! Because if you bought it, you're—not only are you aiding and abetting that criminal, you're being scammed yourself! And also, Project Needlemouse, I have been- I have talked with Sega of America, and they have verified for me that is a full-fledged [[Sonic|SONIC THE HEDGEHOG]] GAME! Not a [[Sonichu]] game. And besides, 2D, I mean [[Sonichu Adventure]], I mean I got so many more story arcs in there than meets the eye, yes—I mean multiple character switches and I have all the story plots, I'm—I have all the story plots in my head, and ON PAPER. On paper. Including like, you know, "Hey, whatever happened to Wild Sonichu's scyther(?) father?" He gets kidnapped a long time ago. You know? He gets kidnapped. And then Sonichu actually—and then Wild Sonichu actually goes and find him. And Bubbles is on her way to an amusement park. W—uh... Angelica goes to defend her church. Punchy is out for a new challenge, and Magi-chan, I'm not sure about him yet. And Sonichu's is out to's-is out for a challenge that he's-he's accepted the challenge from wha-m-from.. Metal Sonichu. As it would appear in the beginning of the books beyond number eleven! Number eleven! The stories would begin beyond—from book number ELEVEN! And nobody has those stories! Only I have those stories, so no video game can ever be created without my own power! My own [[Wikipedia:Swill|swill]], my own super, my own-h-HONEST TO GOODNESS SUPERVISION!

[''Chris turns, the massive physical exertion causing him to pant'']

So take it so take it for real: I AM THE REAL DEAL! I am Christian Weston Chandler. Alias Christopher. And nobody can ever impersonate me for real. Or even my hand-drawing style. And everything that you would get... that they can obviously put—is they could get—is again the only off the internet. It's not a real original hand draw-it's not original hand drawings. I mean, does that look like a printout to you? No! It's a HAND DRAWING! It's the original hand drawing of the back cover I constantly used! Among all the other hand drawings on my SHELF! In my BINDERS! IN THIS ROOM! In this house! So get with the program, people!

[''cut'']

And also, all videos that are currently on YouTube that may say cont—that may say the contrary about the video game rumors, they s—about them being true, but when they-rin-reality FALSE! The damn rumors! I mean I have read on 4 M's dot [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] dot com, that's right I KNOW IT! DAMN TROLLS! I'VE READ YOUR LINES! And I know that you're pixellating fake game screenshots and images and videos.... You're so busted. YOU'RE so busted. And you are in the wrong and you will be damned to hell! ESPECIALLY YOU [[Vivian G]]! D, Vivian G, D! Just like [[The Simpsons|Sideshow Bob would say to Bart in that one episode]] that he had on his frontside.<ref>In The Simpsons episode "Cape Feare", Sideshow Bob is seen with a tattoo on his chest saying "Die Bart Die." During a parole hearing, Bob explained the tattoo as being German for "The Bart The". Once more, Chris has stolen a joke, misunderstood it completely, butchered it horribly, and taken it so far out of context that it makes no sense to almost everybody.</ref> Anyway, aside from all that, I repeat: DO NOT BUY ANYTHING OFF THE INTER- off the uh websites, you are being scammed! There is no Sonichu video game, yet!

The unu-un [''stutters''] and also, a-any a-all official updates about when the official merchandise will be officially released under my own power and supervision, as well as the video game's creation, will be posted on the offi—on the original official Sonichu site, which is also known as [[CWCipedia]]!

[''Off camera, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] comes in and says "Hey, love! Just checkin' to see if you were home!"'']

We'll be back in a moment.

==Notes==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[10 September 2009]]|nextlink=[[Clyde Cash the kid video]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-13]]

10 September 2009

2016-02-06T15:03:52Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Video */ replacing dead link

"'''10 September 2009'''" (officially "'''09102009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] utterly dismisses a possible interview with [[Wikipedia:Veronica Belmont|Veronica Belmont]] of ''[[PS3|PlayStation]] Magazine Europe'' as a troll, continuing to display his paranoia and control over what he wants to do and how he wants to do it. Just in case she ''isn't'' a troll, however, he assures her that he would happily agree to an interview on the grounds that she go to his house personally to request it from him. He then goes on to compliment her in the hopes that she wold be more inclined to come. This video was made in response to the [[Maggie Thomas call]].

'''Official description:''' [none]

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 10 September 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M8aatQFxN_M}}
| stardate = 10 [[September 2009]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt2|text}}
| previous = [[Sign Destruction Video]]
| next = [[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]
}}

{{quote|I know you call your quote/unquote "interviews" to be false, so therefore - back off.}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris is standing there, [[Gitar of Fail]] around his neck, [[High School ring]] flashed]''

[[Captain's Log]], Nine-Ten-Oh Nine. I have received a-- I recently received a phone call on the home phone, ah, from, ah, person that is supposedly of the ''PlayStation Magazine'' in, uh, Europe. Call came restricted, did not leave a call back number, did not call back later, so, she is assumed [[troll]].

I mean, if-a... ''[Stammers a lot]'' I would BELIEVE I was going to be interviewed for real for a magazine instead of a fake interview, I would believe it, IF Veronica Belmont of PlayStation Corp. PERSONALLY came to the front door of my house, here in [[Ruckersville, VA]], and ASKED me, and PERSONALLY asked me to an—for an interview... ''[Nods head]'' I would gladly accept that.

But, anyway, Veronica, if you're watching this? ''[Thumbs up]'' You did an awesome job on ''[[Wikipedia:Qore (Playstation Network)|Qore]]'', keep it up. Really enjoyed, y'know, about, I mean, it was so cool, you know, you became an honorary Gamer Girl, I think it was, with that fancy shirt, I remember that, and all the other memorable moments since, you know, episode one. ''[Creepy smirk]'' And also, I like your recent interview with Jay Leno, that was good, and also I know you love ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', so, you know, I got a few levels up there on my PlayStation ID as [[Sonichu]], and thanks again for adding me as a friend. ''[Another thumbs up]'' You accepted my request.

''[Stares into space for a bit]''

So, anyway, with that, a—wah, leave everyone in peace to know that, I'm on to, ah—bdah, the trolls, I'm on to your game. I kn- I know you call your quote/unquote "interviews" to be false, so therefore - back off. And back off on everything else you're trolling doing because you're so trolling stupid.

Peace to everyone else, [[curse]] to the trolls.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Sign Destruction Video]]|nextlink=[[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-09-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-10]]

Anime

2016-02-06T15:00:32Z

Acrylicpaint: /* End of Evangelion */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:054-CWCsAnimeWorldCD.jpg|thumb|Chris has liked anime since at least [[2000]].]]

'''Anime''' (アニメ) is a colloquial term for Japanese animation, a rather popular style that's been subbed/dubbed/emulated for its many hit series worldwide, drawing the attention of many loyal followers; including [[Chris]]. Over the years, Chris has taken quite an interest in the medium. Whether it be for [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] or [[Mass debating|self pleasure]], it's managed to make itself quite a large part of Chris's life. Chris enjoys the [[Chris and art|artform]] to some extent, as well, although it's not his primary obsession. Needless to say, he's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]].]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokémon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by [[2004]] he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in [[2005]], but hasn't been back to a convention since then. (He considered a trip to Baltimore's Otakon convention in 2010, but primarily as a way of meeting [[Jackie]] in person.)<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref> In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''[[Wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|Crayon Shin-chan]]'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "[[Sonichu 8|very-close-to-nude girls]]" (even bigger shock).

Chris still ripped off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "[[Sonichu Girls|harem]]" comedy-drama ''[[Wikipedia:Shuffle!|Shuffle!]]'' in [[2009]]; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early [[2010]], doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].
[[File:Fistofthesonichu.JPG|thumb|left|Chris summoning his stand,「Let Me Call You [[Sweetheart]]」.]]

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around [[November 2009]], Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and scantily-clad women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked. The last series might have had a particular impact on Chris, as the face-rape of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in [[Sonichu 8]] is [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|very similar]] to Pubic Hair Jump, a move by which the title character of ''Kekko Kamen'' kills her enemies.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Pokémon and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
[[File:Anime.png|thumb|SO KAWAII! UGUU~]]
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], which he completed in the spring of [[2006]]. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes. He also made use of creative elements that work in anime but not in a sequential comic, as well as tedious and unnecessary clichés common to anime.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
{{main|Things Chris has ripped off#Anime}}
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] An example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork.]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from ''Dragon Ball''.
* ''[[Wikipedia:New Cutey Honey|Cutey Honey]]'': Chris quotes, almost word for word, Cutey Honey transformation speech in [[Sonichu 5]]. It should be clear why he even knows about [[Chris and sex|Cutey Honey]].
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''[[Wikipedia:Inuyasha|Inuyasha]]'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': Simonchu and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'': In made-up ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards.
* ''[[Wikipedia:YuYu Hakusho|YuYu Hakusho]]'': Chris's Zap Cannon attack in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] bears an uncanny resemblance to the protagonist's Reigan attack.

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...a lot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref><ref name="Ivy">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of [[Tomgirl Pictures|a boy's struggle for acceptance]]… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
* The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
* The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
* The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
* Asuka freaking out.
* Everyone turns to [[Fanta|orange tang juice]].
* Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
* Rei melting everywhere.
* The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even remotely depressing.

Chris was familiar with ''Evangelion'' prior to watching the movie at Ivy's behest, "but not really a heavy watcher".<ref name="Ivy"/> Despite this, Chris owns a [http://myfigurecollection.net/item/83641 soap dish in the shape of the character Rei Ayanami], as [[:File:AMA3.jpg|pictured in his hotel at Anime-Mid Atlantic]] in 2005. It's likely that Chris saw this item at the convention, didn't even register the figure as an ''Evangelion'' character, and bought it because he thought a soap dish with a "hot anime chick" on it would make for a [[Mass debating|fun novelty item]].

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]
*''[[Shoujo Beat]]''

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Snooky's Pawn Shop

2016-02-06T01:56:07Z

Acrylicpaint: Redirected page to List of Chris's video games#Chris (barely) lets go

#REDIRECT [[List_of_Chris's_video games#Chris (barely) lets go]]

Get-Tar Region

2016-02-06T01:35:07Z

Acrylicpaint:

[[Image:Target Charlottesville.jpg|thumb|200px|The [[Charlottesville]] branch of Target.]]
[[File:TargetCVille.jpg|thumb|200px|Another view of the same store as it appeared in [[April 2015]].]]
On 20 July [[2005]], Chris felt it'd be a great idea to head down to his local '''Target''' mall store and continue his [[Love Quest]]. After being told to leave because he was loitering and disturbing customers, Chris fought back and was eventually restrained, handcuffed at his wrists and ankles, and even worse, cuffed to a wheelchair like a [[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]]. Chris was charged with trespassing and disorderly conduct in the aftermath of the incident, though the state ultimately decided against taking the case to trial.<ref name="2005 Disorderly Conduct">[[:File:20050720-GC05009339-00.png|Disorderly conduct charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref><ref name="2005 Trespassing">[[:File:20050720-GC05009340-00.png|Trespassing charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref>

==In Chris's own words==
Chris described the incident in an entry to [[CWC's Diary]].

{{quotebox|"July 20, [[2005]]: … I was at the new [[Wikipedia:Target Corporation|Target]] store, just hanging around, not bothering anyone. And, from out of the blue, these two [[Manajerks]] asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT! I was there hoping to find an 18-23-year old, Boyfriend-Free girl, like I usually do.

Then, from out of the blue, after I told them off, they came back with two [[Jerkops]]! I was slightly intimidated, but mostly annoyed and ready to strike back on them. They asked me to leave, and never return. I did not want to leave. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid Jerkops. And, during the middle of my speech, they chased me, pulled my pants, and pinned me to the floor. Five Jerkops dog-piled on me as I struggled to get free. A thousand pounds of [[pickle|sausages]] on my [[obesity|180 pound body]] was seriously a cut-off for my Breathing Flow. They handcuffed my wrists and legs, and they hog-tied me! Not only did I felt humiliated from being the victim, but I was angry at them! Not only for handcuffing me, but once again thwarting my efforts in trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]].

They drove me to the county jail, but fortunately, they did not keep me there; I was released to my [[Bob Chandler|family]]. But now I have to go to court on July 29 at 9:00 AM at the Albemarle County Courthouse, close to the Downtown Mall.

So now, I feel very miserable, sad, lonely and rejected. And, while I had the handcuffs on me, both my hands, mostly my right, were seriously cut off from blood flow, and they both felt numb. It was terrible. But [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I are going to get back at them in court, in fact, I learned that the Jerkop who arrested me was called [[Bagget]] (that was the only thing about the situation that was hilarious; replace the “B” with an “F,” and you can see how [[Random-access humor|funny]] it was).|[[Christian Weston Chandler]], comic genius}}

==In Chris's comics==
The incident distressed Chris so greatly that he adapted it into Sub-Episodes 7 and 8 of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], entitled "Off-Target." "Cleverly" renaming Target as "the '''Get-Tar Region'''" (which causes many newfags to think Chris is talking about the guitar retail chain [[Wikipedia:Guitar Center|Guitar Center]]), the story seems surprisingly faithful to what really happened that day, at least until the sword-fight and the part where his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] saves him from a [[Transformers|Transformer]].

What's interesting to note about the story is how Chris betrays himself in his attempt to whitewash the story to make himself the hero. At the beginning of "Off-Target," he all but admits that he plans to use the new locale to sit around all day, using [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] to fill the singularity inside his gut with their soda, drawing his shit [[comic]]s, and waiting for tee-totaling Aryan supermodels to show up and bear his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]].

{{quote|This is a great set-up.. an open bar facing the path to the exit, a dollar for a drink with free refills, and all the ladies will have to walk by me. I'm bound to be found by a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend free, 18-23-Year old girl]] now. Especially since this [[Love Quest]] has been going on for about two years now. Toodie-Froodie, drawing comics all day long. [[Excel Saga|Only three days since I skipped my last deadline!]] :)|Christian Weston Chandler, [[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]]}}

So by Chris's own admission, his intention was to pay the good people at Target a dollar a day to let him sit in their store and bother female customers until he got laid or [[death|died]], whichever came first. Strangely, the management wasn't really thrilled with this arrangement, and as the comic shows, Chris clearly can't understand why loitering on private property is bad.

Instead of focusing on the Manajerks'/Jerkops' motivations, Chris simply infers that they despise him for being a [[virgin with rage]], and places the most attention on the indignity he suffered from his arrest. Hence, the comic shows Chris being tackled (albeit by a giant robot), "hog-timed" (complete with apple, as if he were about to be rotisseried), and hauled off for trial (by [[Mary Lee Walsh]], in a scene ripped off from ''[[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|The Transformers: The Movie]]'').

In another example of how selfish Chris really is, he essentially writes [[Barbara Chandler|his own mother]] out of the story, and has Crystal rescue him instead. That's gratitude for you.

The [[Jackie e-mails Part 2#Chris lies about The Game Place|correspondence with Jackie]] revealed that in the ensuing trial, Chris thought that his work with the [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris the Card Gamer|Pokémon TCG League]] let him off the hook. In reality, the charges were likely dropped either due to insufficient evidence, the state just not feeling the case was worth pursuing, or realizing that Chris would likely just pull the [[autism]] card and get off with minimal punishment. Chris probably mentioned the volunteer work because he believed a person's merits, no matter how unrelated, would automatically make one innocent of all charges. It is also telling that he recounted the charge as "Soliciting", whereas the actual charges were "Disorderly Conduct" and "Trespassing"; he feels that he was only persecuted because of his [[Love Quest]] efforts, and not because he was tard raging.

==The real story==
{{quote|I'm sure you all remember the Target incident. Where he got "hog tied" by the [[jerkop]]s, had his pants pulled down, face rubbed against the carpet and cried a tear of blood? Yeah, about that. First, he was kicked out within a few days to a week of Target opening. That's just sad. When he was approached by management to leave, he ignored them. When they kept pressing, he finally back talked them and called them jerkops. When the cops came, guess what Chris did....[[Chris and the Law|He tried to fucking run.]] Hence why he was hog tied and I'm sure in that struggle his pants just happened to come off.|[[Emily]]}}

==Recent years==
Chris evidently started shopping at Target again an indeterminate amount of time after the incident, either through the store employees agreeing to drop the ban, or just forgetting about it. One of these visits was part of his [[Sonic Boom Protests]], where he planned to vandalize any ''Sonic Boom''-related stock that they had. However, he found out that the game boxes were held in a locked case and, clearly forgetting any lessons learned nine years prior, settled for raging at a couple of employees over the store's decision to stock the games.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image: Chris-Straw.jpg|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|Summary of Chris's agenda at the Get-Tar Region.]]
Image: Targetincidentrendition.jpg|An artist's rendition of the target incident.
Image: Chris-Dog-Pile.jpg|The Jerkhief puts his thousand pound sausage in Chris.
Image: Chris-Carpet-Burn.jpg|HOG-TIME HIM!
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Target Corporation|Target Corporation]] at [[Wikipedia]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

User talk:The cosmos

2016-02-02T21:44:57Z

Acrylicpaint: Created page with "You're a hero for correcting all those dead video links. --~~~~"

You're a hero for correcting all those dead video links. --[[User:Acrylicpaint|Acrylicpaint]] ([[User talk:Acrylicpaint|talk]]) 21:44, 2 February 2016 (UTC)

Manchester High Leaks

2016-02-01T20:55:55Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Amendment Timeline */

[[File:CWCdoxFolders - 15 Jun 2014.jpg|thumb|Photo of the "obtained" folders.]]
In [[June 2014]], [[CWCki Forums]] user SkyRaider91<ref>[http://cwckiforums.com/members/skyraider91.1602/]</ref> began leaking scans of several '''documents from Chris's [[Manchester High School|high school]] classes'''. Many of the pages appear to be charred and/or water-damaged, likely as a result of [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|the January 2014 fire and subsequent events at 14 BLC]]. It was revealed in [[November 2014]] that these had been obtained by trolls sifting through the trash at the burnt-out house, which, although not illegal, still lends credence to the view that [[Trolls#Today|the trolling of Chris is going too far]].

It is very apparent from these leaks that many of Chris's teachers gave him very high marks which he indisputably did not deserve. Whether they did this out of misguided pity, a fear of being seen to play [[Kick the Autistic]] or simply being incompetent themselves, giving Chris - who had perfectly adequate mental faculties for the work - undeserved extra marks would have contributed to his [[ego]] and general laziness. Even within this small core sample of his work, it's apparent that Chris frequently left out sections he didn't want to complete, wrote "essays" in a first-person subjective tone and even wrote parts of his work in [[Spanish|the wrong fucking language]] and still got good or even ''full'' marks. The teachers who enabled this abysmal workmanship probably had the best intentions (or were simply morons, which several of them obviously were), but even though they may have made Chris and [[Borb]] happy they certainly did Chris no favours in the long run. Thankfully, at least a few of his markers had the sense to treat his work like they'd treat anyone else's, and he has them to thank for only being able to get into the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|local community college]].

==[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Parenting]]==
===Parenting Interview===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
Presumably Chris interviewed [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and/or [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] for this assignment, and most of the answers are short and vague to the point of not making much sense; it's unclear whether Barb/Bob were giving brief answers, or whether Chris was just too lazy to record their full responses. Humorously, the interviewee(s) says that "the hardest part of being a parent" has been "[[Chris's_education|dealing w. public school sys]]", and that they chose to have children simply because "It's nice to have kids." They also make mention of "laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations", possibly referring to the social stigma that Bob and Barb endured as a result of their respective previous relationships and children.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''50''' 
'''Name''' Christian W. Chandler. 4 
'''Points''' 50
'''Due Date''' 2/19/99

<center>'''PARENTING INTERVIEW'''</center>
'''1. Why did you choose to have children?''' 
:It's nice to have kids.

'''2. How did you decide how many children to have?''' 
:Thought it would be nice to share w. someone.

'''3. Did you know the basic facts about pregnancy and childbirth before you experienced them? Where did you get these facts?''' 
:yes; from book. ''[Several people have misread Chris's cursive "book" as "boob", leading to an even more humorous reading experience.]''

'''4. Where did you get most of your information on child rearing?''' 
:learned from parents, siblings, and figured it out w/[[Cole Smithey|trial & error]].

'''5. Did anyone else play a large role in parenting your young children? (i.e. daycare, sitter, grandmother)''' 
:[[Abusive babysitter|babysitters]] and daycare, and [[Chris and television|other methods]].

'''6. What adjustments did you have to make after your first child arrived?''' 
:laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations.

----

'''7. How do you think your attitude toward parenting differs from your parent's attitudes? Why?''' 
:To mom: a combination / Dad: didn't see parents much, but stayed w. child all the time; tried to use knowlede and availability.

'''8. How do you think your children's attitude will differ from yours?''' 
:[[slow-in-the-minds|smarter than parents.]]

'''9. What has been most rewarding (greatest joy) in being a parent?''' 
:spontaneous love and affection of child.

'''10. What has been the hardest part of being a parent?''' 
:dealing w. public school sys.

'''11. What advise would you give a young couple who is thinking about starting a family?''' 
:big committment and lots of responsibility.

'''12. When do you think a couple is ready for parenthood?''' 
:each couple has to decide themselves.

'''Parent Signature''' Barbara W. Chandler 
:Robert F. Chandler Jr.
}}
}}

===Describing Development===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 001.jpg
File:Parenting Class 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet in which Chris was asked to identify one of five characteristics of development exemplified by various situations. Chris only managed to identify half of the characteristics correctly.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''2/3/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Section 2 
Text Pages 24-33

[top of page marked "5" (for the number of incorrect questions) and graded "10/20" in red pen, with a circled "3" in magenta ink]

<center><big>'''DESCRIBING DEVELOPMENT'''</big></center>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' Identify the characteristic of development described in each situation. Remember that the characteristics of development are as follows: 
* Development is similar for everyone.
* Development builds on earlier learning.
* Development proceeds at an individual rate.
* The different areas of development are interrelated.
* Development is continuous throughout life.

1. Jessica is an active three-year-old who enjoys dressing herself. Lately, she has started choosing her clothes each morning. Her parents are amazed at her constart eagerness to learn new things. It seems she never stops wanting to learn. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continuous throughout life.''

<s>2.</s> Michael always had trouble in school. He did poorly on tests and was seldom able to answer when the teacher called on him. Some of the other children [[Kick_the_Autistic|teased Michael on the playground]] and called him [[Slow_in_the_minds|"dummy"]]. As a result, Michael was very shy and had little self-confidence. Since he has started wearing glasses, however, he has been doing better in school. Now Michael feels good about himself and has been able to make friends more easily. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds <s>it</s> on earlier learning.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

3. Joshua and Nicole are cousins born two months apart. Although Joshua is older, Nicole began to sit and stand about the same time Joshua did. This has been slightly puzzling to Joshua's parents. They are worried about Joshua's apparently slow rate of development. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

<s>4.</s> Jim is babysitting his neighbor's son Albert. To Jim, it seems as if it was only yesterday that Albert was crawling on the carpet in the living room. He remembers that Albert then learned to walk and is now running and jumping in the yard. 
Characteristic of development ''different areas of development are interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

<s>5.</s> Ron has been watching his neighbor's daughter Cindy grow at a steady rate since he moved into the neighborhood almost two years earlier. Ron's sister Amy is the same age as Cindy. Ron has

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

Copyright © Glencoe THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook 13

----

NAME     DATE     CLASS PERIOD    

Chapter 1, Section 2 continued 
Describing Development

noticed that Amy and Cindy are able to do about the same things. This has been true throughout the two years Ron has lived next door to Cindy's family. 
Characteristic of development ''development is interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "similiar" [sic]]

<s>6.</s> Maria is helping her younger sister Joanie learn the alphabet. She seems to be catching on quickly. Yesterday, Joanie could even pick some of the letters out of written words in one of her books. Maria knows that soon Joanie will be able to point out a few simple words. Later, she will be able to read short phrases and sound out words. 
Characteristic of development ''developmentis continous throughout life.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

7. Rachel, Martha, and Juan are all four-year-olds attending the same child care center. Martha is slightly shorter than the other two children. She is very good at playing with others. Rachel is the tallest of the three and the most coordinated. Juan is somewhere between the two girls in size and likes to play quietly by himself in the sandbox. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

8. Mark is a senior at his local high school. He has just received a scholarship for his literary achievement. Right now, Mark is looking forward to spring because he plans to run track and hopes to improve his speed from last year. Recently, his Uncle Joseph offered Mark a part-time job at the grocery store he manages. Mark plans to take the job and work until he starts college in the fall. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continous throughout life.''

9. Diane and her family spent a month last summer visiting relatives in Canada. Diane spent most of the month playing with her brother Brad and cousin Timothy, both two years old. She found that both boys could run fairly well, stand on one foot, and climb stairs. By the end of the visit, Diane could see that the two children did many things alike. She thought this was surprising since Brad was born in the United States and Timothy was born in Canada, and the two had never met before. 
Characteristic of development ''development is similar for everyone.''

<s>10.</s> At playschool one day, four-year-old Terry suddenly burst into tears. He had been given a worksheet to complete, which required him to cut out a simple picture with blunt scissors, paste it to another picture, and color it. Terry knew exactly were to paste the picture, and pasting was an activity he enjoyed. He also liked coloring and had already chosen two colors he would use. But Terry could not complete his picture becase he could not make the scissors work. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds on earlier learning'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

'''14''' THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook Copyright © Glencoe
}}
}}

===Help This Unborn Child===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 003.jpg
File:Parenting Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet about behaviors which may adversely affect prenatal development. Chris wrote that several seemingly random things can cause [[Slow-in-the-minds|"slow minds"]], and completely ignored about half of the risk factors mentioned, yet for some reason he still received a grade of 14/20.

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's answers in italics)|{{quotebox|
'''Text pages 56-87''' 
'''Name''' ''Christian W. Chandler.''
'''Date''' ''3/25/99''

[Graded 14/20 in red pen, with a "7" at the top right]

<center><big>Chapter 3: Prenatal Development <big>Help This Unborn Child</big></big></center>

'''Directions:''' How the mother-to-be takes care of herself greatly affects prenatal development. Read each situation below. Explain which of the mother's health habits may be hazardous to the unborn baby, and why. ["why" is circled in blue pen]

1. Carolyn is excited about the birth of her first child. However, some of the changes coming up will be hard to get used to. For example, she plans to quit smoking soon after the baby is born since she thinks it might be harmful to the child. In the meantime, Carolyn and John look on the pregnancy as their "last fling" before they become parents. Every weekend they attend parties where lots of beer is served. ["Every weekend they" is underlined in red pen] 
:''smoking causes the baby to have <s>a less [illegible]</s> <s>slow mind</s> less birth weight; alcohol causes the baby to have <s>less birth wei</s> a slow mind.'' 
:[teacher wrote "FAS", "need rest", and "-1" in red pen]

2. Earlier this week, Sandra woke up with a terrible cold. Since she is preparing for maternity leave, she doesn't want to miss any days at the office. ["miss any days at the office" is underlined in red pen] Sandra decided to increase her intake of vitamins to boost her energy level. She found some nose drops in the medicine cabinet and has been taking those along with several aspirin each day. 
:''some medical drugs cause the baby to have less body weight, and have slow minds.'' 
:[teacher wrote "take needed time" in red pen]

----

3. Elaine's second child is due in five months. She is busy getting ready for the new arrival. Since pregnancy has been going so well, Elaine decided not to cut down on her favorite foods—chocolate, coffee, and soft drinks. Elaine's X rays at her dental appointment last week revealed no tooth decay. She really does feel good. However, since several neighborhood children have had rubella recently, she has decided to ask her doctor for the vaccine on her next visit. 
:''chocolate, coffie, and soft drinks (caffine), cause the baby to <s>not have</s> <s>not get all the nutrients it needs.</s> be very hyperactive. 
:[teacher wrote "caffeine", "-3", and "No Xrays [or] vaccines because        " in red pen]

4. Marti has a fear of gaining too much weight while she is pregnant. A few years ago, her doctor prescribed amphetamines for a weight loss program. Marti had some of the pills left over, so she is using them to curb her appetitu, In addition, she skips breakfast and lunch and eats only a small dinner. 
:''skipping meals and only taking medication will cause the baby to not get the nutrients it needs.'' 
:[in red pen, the teacher wrote "-2" and "1/2" in the margin, and circled "taking medication", drawing an arrow to where she wrote "amphetamines cause"]
}}
}}

===Chapter 1 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 005.jpg
File:Parenting Class 006.jpg
</gallery></center>
For this worksheet about child development, Chris seems to have regurgitated sentences from a textbook, which makes it a boring read. Of note is that he gave "television" as an example of a child's "enviroment" [sic], possibly shedding some light on Barb's parenting techniques.

{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' Date ''2/9/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Text Pages 16-35

'''CHAPTER 1 STUDY GUIDE'''

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Children in Your Life''' 
:1. What three things influence your relationship with young children? 
::''[[Pedofork|your interest (in children)]], knowledge of stages, and skill in applying that knowledge.''

'''Why Study Children?''' 
:2. Name there benefits of learning about children. 
::''you learn about the person you are; you learn about the child you were; and you learn about the adult you will be.''

:3. How can learning about children help you get along with them better? 
::''you will apply learning to everyday life, you learn practical techniques, and you will discover that children are fun.''

'''What Is Childhood?''' 
:4. What is one of the most important concepts that have emerged from the study of children? 
::''they have [[autism|special needs]] as they grow and learn.''

'''Childhood: Past and Present''' 
:5. How did people in Colonial days think children differed from adults? 
::''only in size, expierence, and abilities.''

:6. Give three examples of the differences between childhood in the past and childhood today. 
::''<s>children were expected to work hard at an early age,</s> <s>but</s> health and nutrition, dress, and parental love.''

----

:7. Why can childhood be called a ''recent'' discovery, even though there have always been children? 
::''<s>[illegible]</s> in the past, parents had little awareness of their special needs.''

'''The Growth of Child Study''' 
:8. Where can you find information about growth and development of children? 
::''books, articles, radio and television <s>problems</s> programs on the subject of child <s>deleo</s> development.''

'''Characteristics of Development''' 
:9. Explain in your own words what the following characteristics of development mean.

::Development is similar for everyone. 
:::''children all over the world go through the same, but different, stages of development.''

::Development builds on earlier learning. 
:::''development follows an orderly sequence (step-by-step).''

::Development proceeds at an individual rate. 
:::''style and rate of growth differ from 1 child to another.''

::The different areas of development are interrelated. 
:::''all areas of development interact continually.''

::Development is continuous throughout life. 
:::''sometimes, development is rapid, and [[Chris's education|sometimes, it is much slower]].''

'''The Importance of Play''' 
:10. Identify four ways that play benefits the development of children. 
::''physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially.''

'''Influences on Development''' 
:11. Name two major influences on development, and give an example of each. 
::''heredity: physical characteristics; enviroment: television,''
}}

===Chapter 2 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 007.jpg
File:Parenting Class 008.jpg
File:Parenting Class 009.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet seems to be more regurgitated textbook material, but Chris found subtle ways to screw it up, like using mathematical inequalities (see also: using Spanish in his [[Manchester High Leaks#English|English homework]]) and failing to cross a couple Ts. He also doesn't seem to understand the concept of adoption, referring to it as "a right to raise a child who is biologically their own."
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler.'' DATE ''2/23/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 2</big> 
Text Pages 36-57

<big>'''CHAPTER 2 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''The Importance of Families''' 
:1. What is a family? 
::''group of 2 or more people who care about and are committed to each other.''

:2. Why do people have a need for families? 
::''they're every child's 1st connection to the world.''

'''Types of Families''' 
:3. Explain in your own words each of the following types of families.

::Nuclear 
:::''a mother, father, and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Extended 
:::''parents, children, and other relalives sharing <s>thesame</s> the same household.''

::Single-parent 
:::''1 parent and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Blended 
:::''married couple and x ≥ child from parents' previous relalionship.''

:4. Name and describe <s>three</s> 2 ways of becoming a parent other than by being a biological parent. 
::''adoption: a right to raise a child who is biologically their own.'' 
::''foster child: child w. parents who are unable to care for it.''

----

'''The Family Life Cycle''' 
:5. Record a reward and a challenge that may occur in each stage of the family life cycle. 
::<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Stage'''</th>
<th>'''Reward'''</th>
<th>'''Challenge'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Beginning</td>
<td>''<s>couple</s> home.''</td>
<td>''<s>establishing home &</s> [[Chris and Money|$$]].''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childbearing    </td>
<td>''a baby.''</td>
<td>''noise and changes; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childrearing</td>
<td>''teaching the child what you know.''</td>
<td>''[[Autism|disorder]]; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Launching</td>
<td>''child learns [[Tugboat|how to support him/herself]].   ''</td>
<td>''child in process of leaving; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Empty Nest</td>
<td>''renew relationship.''</td>
<td>''no child around; changes.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Retirement</td>
<td>''new/old interests.''</td>
<td>''failing health.''</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''Trends Affecting Family Systems''' 
:6. Explain how each of the following family trends affects society an a whole.

::Increased mobility 
:::''no supportive connection w. family & friends.''

::More women in the work force 
:::''less time with child, more [[Stress|stress]] for both parents/need for [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|facilities]] and [[Abusive babysitter|individuals]] that provide quality child care.''

::Rising population of older citizens 
:::''encouragement of family unity.''

'''The Need for Healthy Families''' 
:7. What role does the family play in the socialization of family members? 
::''children learn about [[Chris and anger|acceptable behavior]].''

----

'''How Can Families Be Strengthened?''' 
:8. Name three steps in strengthening families. 
::''knowing what to look for; id. strengths of their family; and improve areas that need strengthening.''

:9. Name three ways in which parenthood can be rewarding. 
::''members show commitment, appreciation, and effective coping skills.''

'''Making Decisions About Parenthood''' 
:10. Explain in your own words why each of the following considerations is important to the decision of whether to have children..

::Emotional maturity 
:::''<s>[illegible] grow</s> to become better able to handle situations.''

::[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Desire for parenthood]] 
:::''to be sure of their decision.''

::[[Chris and health|Health]] 
:::''health of parents could <s>effe</s> affect child, before it is born.''

::Management skills 
:::''parenting is a complex task.''

::[[Chris and money|Financial considerations]] 
:::''[[Lego|expenses for child will increase.]]''
}}

===Chapter 5 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 010.jpg
File:Parenting Class 011.jpg
File:Parenting Class 012.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris misspelled a couple words, but other than that, this worksheet is just more boring textbook paraphrasing, this time about prenatal development.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''3/5/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 5</big> 
Text Pages 114-153

<big>'''CHAPTER 5 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Prenatal Development''' 
:1. Prenatal development is 
::''development of baby during period before birth.''

'''Conception''' 
:2. Define:
::Ovum
:::''female cell or egg.''
::Uterus
:::''organ in woman's body in which a baby develops during pregnancy.''
::[[Navy|Sperm]]
:::''male cell.''
::Conception
:::''union, or joining, of 1 egg and 1 sperm, resulting in beginning of pregnancy.''
::Zygote
:::''fertilized egg.''

'''Period of the Zygote''' 
:3. The first stage in the development of a baby is the ''zygote period'' and lasts ''2'' weeks. The zygote attaches to the ''uterus'' and is the size of a ''pinhead'' at the end of two weeks.

'''Period of the Embryo''' 
:4. The second stage of the pregnancy is the ''embryo period'' and lasts from the ''3rd'' week to the ''8th'' week of pregnancy. During this time, the ''placenta'', which attaches the sacs around the embryo to the uterus, and the ''umbilical cord'', the tube that connects the placenta to the embryo, develop. The tube carries ''nourishment'' and ''oxygen'' from the mother's blood stream to the baby and takes ''waste products'' from the baby. The ''amnotic fluid'' surrounds the

----

:embryo and acts as a cushion to protect it. At three weeks after conception, the ''heart'' is the largest organ, and it has already started ''beating''.

'''Period of the Fetus''' 
:5. The last stage of pregnancy is the ''fetus period'' and begins about the ''8th or 9th'' week and lasts until ''birth''. In the early part of this period, the baby has the beginnings of all ''organs'' and ''body parts''. By the fourth of fifth month of development, the kicking and moving of the baby can be felt by the mother, which is called ''quickening''. By the ''7th'' month, with a great deal of medical help, the fetus is capable of living outside the uterus. During the final month, the fetus ''gains'' weight rapidly and adds ''fat'' to help maintain body heat after birth. In the last few weeks, the fetus stores ''nutrients'' and builds ''immunity'' to disease and infection. During the ninth month of pregnancy, the fetus drops into the birth canal, which is called ''lightening'', to prepare for labor. After about ''40'' weeks of preparation, the baby is ready to be born.

'''The Genetic Package''' 
:6. What is heredity? Name there characteristics that can be hereditary. 
::''passing of natural characterics from past generations; hair texture and color, skin color, and color/shape of eyes.''

:7. Explain the relationship between chromosomes and genes. 
::''each chromosome contains thousands of genes.''

----

:14. What are the five options for infertile couples? Briefly describe each. 
<table>
<tr><th>Options</th><th>Descriptions</th></tr>
<tr>
<td>''adoption''</td>
<td>''legally providing a home for 1 or more children who don't have a home.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Semen#Donation|''artificial insemination''</td>]]
<td>''injection of male's sperm into a woman's uterus, with a special needle during the woman's fertile period.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''in vitro fertilization''</td>
<td>''a doctor removes an egg from a woman, puts it in a glass dish with a special solution, adds husband's sperm, and implants zygote back in woman's uterus.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''ovum transfer''</td>
<td>''<s>[illegible]</s> same as in vitro fertilization, but the egg comes from an egg donor, not the mother.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Need my daughter|''surrogate''</td>]]
<td>''when a zygote is transferred from a future mother, to substitute <s>[illegible]</s> woman, who carries the zygote until birth.''</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}

===Empathy Belly essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Empathy Belly Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris describes the experience of [[Pregnant Act|wearing an empathy belly]], complete with disturbing [[Honest Content|honest content]]:

{{quote|...while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling.|Chris, oversharing about how the empathy belly rubbed his penis}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
[graded 30/30] 
Christian W. Chandler. 
4/12/99 
Parenting, 7.

How it was like to wear the Empathy Belly:

Having a belly like a pregnant woman was really an awkward experience. While I wore the belly, I was walking like as if my legs were out of balance. Also, when I tried to get my pencil bag out of my backpack, the belly held me back by putting pressure on my left leg. Luckily my arms were long, but if they were any shorter, I would have had a real problem to reach the pencil bag. And when I laid on the floor and tried to get up, the gravity made the belly put pressure on me, and it made me fall on my right side. Finally, while I was sitting in my chair, the belly made it uncomfortable for me to cross my legs, and while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[Duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling. So, it was quite an experience while I had a belly like a pregnant woman.
}}
}}

==U.S. Government==
===Amendment Timeline===
<center><gallery>
File:US GOV 001.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 1-17
File:US GOV 002.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 18-23
File:US GOV 003.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 24-27
</gallery></center>
An illustrated timeline briefly describing the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. As is [[honor roll|to be expected]], Chris used multiple differing conventions for writing out dates, and made numerous prominent factual, spelling, and grammatical errors, which are preserved in the transcription.

Notably, Chris seems to have read the antiquated language used in the older amendments [[Autism|at completely literal face value]] with no sense of interpretation, leading him to getting many facts and details wrong. For example, while most every [[United States of America#Chris on patriotism|true American patriot]] knows the [[Wikipedia:Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|13th Amendment]] as the amendment that ended [[Niggos|slavery]], it also contains a parenthetical stating that involuntary servitude as conviction for a crime would continue exist in the United States. Chris seems to have focused on this minor detail about crime punishment, rather than the momentous occasion of freeing the slaves, as the entire purpose of the amendment and even included an illustration implying that the 13th Amendment ''created'' slavery for criminals. While the [[Wikipedia:Twenty-third Amendment to the United States Constitution|23rd Amendment]] actually gave voting rights to citizens of [[2012 Facebook Posts#Hey, Trollies|Washington, D.C.]], Chris seems to have confused "District of Columbia" for referring to [[Wikipedia:Colombia|Colombia]] the country, and drew a picture of the South American nation pleased that it can now vote for the President of a country in a completely different continent.

His interpretation of the [[Wikipedia:Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution|11th Amendment]], that "People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their problems", is [[Slow-in-the-minds|completely inexplicable]].
{{quote|Dear LADY; PAYUP!|Congress}}
{{collapsible
|Transcription|{{quotebox|1=
Christian W. Chandler 
1/10/99 
U.S. Govt., 3 
<center>27 Amendmt Timeline</center>
* (Dec 15) 1791
::(Bill of Rights) Amendments 1-10 Everyone shall have innocence 'till proven guilty 
::[Speech bubble: "Even though I have 'GUILT' on my face, I am innocent 'till proven."]
* (Feb 7) 1795
::11th amendment: People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles. 
::[Horribly misshapen landmasses labeled "CANADA", "U.S.A"., "MEXICO", "EUROPE", and "[[Niggos|AFRICA]]".] 
::[Speech bubble: "HELP!"]
* (JULY 27) 1809
::12th amendment: majority of votes for president for one state = 1 vote for that president. 
::[Speech bubble: "Virginia: I'M FOR CLINTON!"] 
::CLINTON: 26 
::Bushwell: 24 
::(Virginia didn't vote for Bushwell)
* 1865 (Dec 6)
::13th amendment: Slavery shall only be used as crime punishment. 
::[Speech bubble: "TANKS TO 'unlucky' 13, I'm in here! (mumbling)."]
* 1868 (JULy 9)
::14th Amendment: Those are born in U.S. = U.S. Citizen 
::[Speech bubble: "Does that make me a U.S. citizen?."] 
::[Baby wearing a top hat reading "1998", labeled "(Baby 1998)"]
* (Feb 3) 1870
::15th amendment: No matter what race or color, they will vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "Yippie! Finally, I can vote!"]
* 1913 (Feb. 3)
::16th amendment: Congress shall collect taxes. 
::[Document with heading "Congress", reading "Dear LADY; PAYUP!"]
* (Apr. 8) 1913
::17th amendment: Senate of U.S. = 2 people from each state. 
::[Speech bubble: "Weare senates!"] 
::[Figures labeled "Bob", "MARY", and "Virginia"]

----

* (Jan. 16) 1919
::18th amendment: prohibition of [[Alcohol|liquor]] from U.S. 
::[Bottle label: "BE ER"]
* 1920 Aug. 18
::19th amendment: [[Women's rights|Women]] can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "I can Vote, too!"]
* (Jan. 23) 1933
::20th amendment: Presidency & Vice Presidency terms exp. Jan. 20. 
::(LAME DUCK [duck pictogram]) 
::[Calendar: "JANUARY, 1999", "prop of Bill CLINTON"] 
::[Speech bubble: "(Clinton)-> MYDAY is almost here."]
* (Dec. 5) 1933
::21st amendment: Repeal of Prohibition. (Beer is allowed). 
::[Speech bubble: "Uh..., WELCOME.....DOh!"] 
::[Ship labeled "S.S. ANNE.", carrying "BEER"]
* 1951 (Feb. 27)
::22nd. amendment: Limit of President to 2 terms. 
::[Figures labeled "1st term.", "2nd term"]
* (Mar. 29) 1961
::Columbia <s>can't</s> can vote for president. 
::[Speech bubble: "WE CAN VOTE, TOO!"]

----

* (Jan. 23) 1964
::24th amendment: voters need to pay poll taxes 
::[Printer labeled "Poll taxBox", "Printout -> VOTE"]
* 1967 Feb. 10
::25th amendment: President's powers are reduced. 
::[Figures labeled "Before", "after"]
* (July 1st) 1971
::Amendment 26: young men of 18 yars of age can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "Hey-hey, thanksfor the cool car & the vote!"]
* 1992 (May 7)
::Amendment 27: Salary changes must be made for Congress to pay themselves. 
::[Figures labeled "(to Congress) Before", "(changes required)✓ After"]
* 1999! The END!

}}
}}

===Worksheets and Essays===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Cant Follow Directions Constitution Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14 Basic Concepts2.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14Basic Concepts.jpg
File:CWC Lawbreaking Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet2.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum2.jpg
File:Chris_Korean_War_Graphic.jpg
File:CWC Vietnam Map.jpg
File:CWC Why Only One Point.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Women's Movement notes===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Womens Movenment.jpg
</gallery></center>
{{quote|Never Passed!|What should have happened to Chris in an ideal education system}}
Chris's brief notes on the [[Women's rights|women's movement]] in the United States in the 1960s.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

<s>Women</s> Women's Movement: 
Started from reaction to book, The Feminene Mystique, written by housewife, Betty Friedan. She wrote, "As she made the beds, shopped for groceries... she was afraid to ask, 'Is this all?'" 
Change Begins: 
1. = pay act: passed in '63. 
2. Now: National Organization for Women. 
Fought for passage of = Rights Ammendments... Never Passed!
}}}}

===Strategic Defense Initiative essay===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC SDI Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
The [[Wikipedia:Strategic Defense Initiative|Strategic Defense Initiative]] was a system [[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Reagan]] proposed in 1983. It was never actually implemented, at least not even close to how Reagan proposed it (in terms of technology and scale), and certainly not during his presidency. Despite that, Chris vomited up this four-sentence "essay" on how the "system of zappers and mirrors in space" defended "against [[Wikipedia:Evil empire|Evil Empire]]" and got another perfect grade. Note that the teacher misspelled the names of several terms/people in the heading, and that the debt increase Chris gave for SDI is comically low— Reagan increased the defense budget by tens of '''billions''' of dollars, not millions.<ref>[http://www.cato.org/publications/policy-analysis/reagans-1983-defense-budget-analysis-alternative]</ref><ref>[http://martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/aug2006/starwars1.html#Cost] "$44 billion was appropriated by Congress for SDI from 1983 to 1993."</ref> All evidence seems to suggest his teacher was a bit [[slow in the mind]].

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''REVIEW SHEET(X): FORD-CLINTON''' [graded "+10" in red ink]

Name ''Christian W. Chandler''      Date ''11/22/98''

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Stagflation</td>
<td>Three Mile Island</td>
<td>Ronald Reagan</td>
<td>Jhomeini</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>ERA</td>
<td>Panama Canal Treaty</td>
<td>Gorbachev</td>
<td>Contras</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Salt II</td>
<td>Camp David Accords</td>
<td>George Bush</td>
<td>Sandinistas</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Reaganomics</td>
<td>SDI "Star Wars"</td>
<td>Oliver North</td>
<td>Rodney King</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>INF Treaty</td>
<td>Operation Desert Strom</td>
<td>Clarence Thomas</td>
<td>Boris Yelstein</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Iran-Contra Affair</td>
<td>Aparthied</td>
<td>Sadaam Hussein</td>
<td>Nelson Mandella</td>
</tr>
</table>
</center>

ESSAY: (10 POINTS)

Explain, IN DETAIL, ONE <s>two</s> event that occurred during Reagan's presidency that illustrates how Reagan would defend against the "Evil Empire" at all costs. You must name the country/event and describe it in as much detail as possible Conclude by stating IF and HOW the goal was achieved and the "Evil Empire" was contained.

''The Strategic Defense Initiative was a way Regan defended against "Evil Empire." This occured in the U.S., and it was a system of zappers and mirrors in space that would destroy a nuclear missile <s>if</s> before it would hit the U.S. It was achieved by adding $70-million to debt. in defense. The SDI was a way Reagan would have defended against "Evil Empire."''
}}}}

===Election worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet2.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet deals with various aspects of elections, such as voting, political campaigns, etc. As in several other documents for non-Spanish subjects, Chris used broken Spanish for some of his answers here, although he provided English translations for most of it, and explained in the margin that he was "practicing [his] spanish". Despite the irrelevant, incorrect use of Spanish and the extremely simple answers, this worksheet again received a perfect grade.

{{quote|In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? '''public officeholders; work en la office.'''|Chris, completely oblivious that this was asking about the [[Wikipedia:Electoral College (United States)|Electoral College]]}}

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in italics)|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler'' Section      Date ''1/13/99''

<big>'''CHAPTER 10, BUILDING SOCIAL STUDIES SKILLS'''</big> [graded 18/18 in red pen] 
''in textbook'' 
Write phrases or sentences to answer these questions.

1. Who uses a ballot? For what purpose? 
:''voters; to place their choices in la election.''

[In the margin, Chris wrote "note: yo practico mi español, pero yo escribo los translations / I'm practicing my spanish, but I wrote translations.", and drew an arrow to #2.]

2. Who attends a nominating convention, and what do those people do? 
:''political parties; a deciden sus candidates y a "select" delegates/to choose its candidates and to select delegates.''

3. What is the difference between a closed primary and an open primary? 
:''<s>[illegible]</s> closed primary <s>parties</s>; only party members vote. open primary: all voters can vote.''

4. What does a campaign manager do? 
:''el <s>prep</s> coordinates y plans la campaign strategy / he coordinates and plans campaign strategy.''

5. Name and briefly describe three different positions on a campaign staff. 
:''Fund raisers: raises money to subsidize campaign.''
:''Press Secretary: maintains press contacts; disseminating campaign news.''
:''lawers y accountants: monitor legal y financial aspects of campaign.''

6. What does a political consultant do? 
:''helps a shape candidate's image; manage campaign advertising.''

7. Who uses tracting polls? For what purpose? 
:''más candidates; a find out cómo bein <s>[illegible]</s> ellos son competing for votes / to find out how well they are competing for votes.''

8. In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? 
:''public officeholders; work en la office.''

----

9. What is negative campaign advertising? 
:''advertising en a political campaigned aimed at discrediting y damaging la opposing <s>candidate</s> candidate.''

10. What are two questions you should ask yourself when evaluating a political commercial? 
:''Which individual o group paid for la commercial?'' 
:''What forms of communication are used?''

11. What is propaganda? Who uses it? 
:''message to influence people's ideas, opinions, & actions.''

12. What are two different techniques of propaganda? Write a brief description of each. 
:''Glittering generalities: uses vague words or ides that don't really <s>say</s>say much.'' 
:''Card stacking: uses facts that support candidate's argument.''
}}}}

===JFK Assassination===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Assassination JFK Drawing.jpg
File:CWC Assassination JFK Notes.jpg
</gallery></center>
Brief notes on JFK's assassination, including a diagram of the scene.
{{collapsible|Transcription (notes)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

John F. Kennedy: assassinated: 
Nov. 22, 1963. Dallas, Texas, 12:30 pm. 
J.F.K. is shot x2 from 6th floor of Tx. school. book depository; pronounced dead at 1:00 pm (Parkland). 
Assassin: 
Lee Harvey Oswald: arrested within 2 hrs. His rifle was found at scene w. only his handprint on it. Nov. 24: Oswald was shot & killed by Jack Ruby (Rubinstein). 
Investigation: 
Led by Warren Commission & Chief Justice Earl Warren. After 10 months, the 26 volume Warren Report concluded that Oswald was only assassin. 
Theories: 
# Single bullit theory: "Magic Bullit." 1 bullet hit both J.F.K. & Gov. Connelly. (7) This supports Warren Report.
# Assassin on "Grassy Knoll:" shot J.F.K. in front. "Umbrella Man?" people posed as F.B.I. agents.
# "Number of shots?" (3?).
}}}}
{{collapsible|Transcription (drawing)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/13/98 
U.S.G Ovt.

1. Kennedy was killed while he was <s>rid</s> riding and <s>[illegible]</s> waving to crowd

[An annotated diagram of the scene, most likely copied from a textbook or the chalkboard. The only possibly interesting thing here is that Chris misspelled "Zapruder" as "zenbrader".]

Dealy Plaza 
Dallas, T.X. 
Nov. 22, 1963 
12:30 P.M.
}}}}

==[[Chris and English|English]]==
===English 1999 Grade Report===
<center><gallery>
File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris's 1999 English grade report reveals that he received [[Honor roll|failing grades]] on all but 2 items, and a 78% for the year, showing at at least one of his markers was competent.
{{collapsible|Transcription|<pre><nowiki>
================================================================================
Sun Jun 06 STUDENT GRADES REPORT PAGE: 26
================================================================================
Excelsior Software, Inc. (C) 1990

NAME: Chandler, Christian CLASS: English
I.D.: SECTION:
LEVEL: TEACHER: Mrs. Dorazio

ASSIGNMENTS
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
NO. | DESCRIPTION CATEGORY | GRADE |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
1 | Notecards I All Grades | 50.0 |
2 | Notecards II All Grades | 50.0 |
3 | Macbeth test All Grades | 84.0 |
4 | Voc 10 S/A All Grades | 20.0 |
5 | Intro Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
6 | Sonnet Disc All Grades | X |
7 | 1st Body Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
8 | Computer lab All Grades | 25.0 |
9 | Sonnet test All Grades | 86.0 |
10 | Pride and Prejudice II All Grades | 0 |
11 | Voc 10 C/C All Grades | 30.0 |
12 | Pride and Prejudice IV All Grades | 23.0 |
13 | Voc 10B All Grades | 50.0 |
14 | Pride and Prejudice VI All Grades | 25.0 |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+

CLASS GRADE: 72.0 D+

COMMENTS: year- 78
</nowiki></pre>
}}

===Canterbury Tales Essay===
An essay on Chaucer's [[Wikipedia:The Canterbury Tales|The Canterbury Tales]], with two drafts, a planning/inventory sheet, and a grade sheet. The rough draft looks to be peer-reviewed, while the second draft was most likely reviewed by the teacher. The first draft of the "essay" is just the narrative of the story the essay was supposed to be about, and Chris uses extremely basic punctuation (mainly commas) incorrectly, as well as making up words. The second draft is the same thing minus the fictitious words (but plus numerous tense errors) and with an awfully written conclusion tacked onto the end. Chris earned a 69% grade from a very generous or very stupid marker.

{{quote|And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor.|Chris's eloquent conclusion in the rough draft}}

{{quote|Well, that's it for the essay.|Chris's revised conclusion}}

<center><gallery>
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (7).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (8).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (3).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (4).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (5).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (6).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (2).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (1).jpg
</gallery></center>
{{collapsible|Rough draft transcription (editor's marks in bold)|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/4/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay. (rough draft)

The <s>Cat</s> Canterbury Tales gives us an excellent portrait of life in Mid'''dle'''-ages. <s>Back in the mid-ages, the knights, peasents, and the royalty, lived in</s> The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á Becket. On the way to Canterbury; the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story each pilgrim told, was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In the Nun's Priest's Tale [editor crossed out the underline and wrote '''"Don't underline"''' in margin], by Geoffrey Chaucer, the deadly <s>sine</s>'''sin''', Pride was committed.

[editor wrote '''"Say something about Chanticlers dream?"''' in margin and an arrow pointing to this paragraph] In this <s>tale</s> tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer expresses too much pride, and it got him into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fencepost, when in the bushes nearby, a sneaky, sly fox was hiding there. The fox came out and told Chanticleer how his father, supposedly, crowed magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, '''eyes closed''' then he crowed his great crow. Then, Chanticleer's pride rose; so he <s>[illegible]</s> put his chest out, head back, '''and closed his eyes''' and just before he crowed, the fox pounced, and clasped his jaws on the poor, prideful rooster. And that's how Chanticleer's pride got him into trouble.

----

Also in this tale, the fox also expresses too much pride. As the fox carries <s>the</s> Chanticleer in his mouth, Chanticleer flatters the fox by telling him how clever the fox was in capturing Chanticleer. He also mentioned that flattering the chicken and capturing him off guard was "pure genius." When the fox opens his mouth to reply, proudfully, the chicken jumps out and runs away from him, '''up the tree''' <s>and back to the farm.</s> And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor. 
'''Need a conclusion.'''
}}
{{collapsible|Second draft transcription|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/10/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay

[Chris drew a star in the margin to the left of each line. The editor crossed out the entire row of stars on the first page.]

The Canterbury Tales [editor underlined the title for Chris] gives us an excellent portrait of life in the Middle ages. [editor circled the "a" in "ages", presumably because it should have been capitalized] The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á-Bechet. On the way to Canterbury, the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story that each pilgrim told, [editor wrote "T" above "told", presumably for tense] was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In The "Nun's Priest's Tale<s>,</s>" by Geoffry Chaucer, the deadly sin<s>,</s> Pride<s>,</s> was committed

In this tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer, has a dream in which told was [editor circled "which told was" and wrote "?" above it] going to happen later in the tale. In his dream, Chanticleer...

→

----

[editor wrote "one side only" at top of this page; evidently this essay was supposed to be single-sided]

was attacked by a beast with a "blend of yellow and red." The beast tried to seize him, in his mouth with a "small smout." [editor wrote "sp" above "smout"] Then his wife, Pertelote, woke him up as he was "groaning and lurching," in the [[Chris and reality|"real world."]] But, Pertelote proclaimed that he was a coward<s>,</s> because he was afraid of his dream.

Now, later in the tale, Chanticleer, and the fox, expresses too much pride, and it got both of them into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fence post, then comes the fox. The fox caught Chanticleer by telling him ...

----

about how his father, probably, crowed [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, and eyes closed, then he would give a great, magnificent crow. So, Chanticleer [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] expressed too much pride by doing all that, but, just before he crowed, the fox snatched him in his jaws, and ran with the rooster in his mouth. Then, as the fox carries the rooster into the forest, the rooster tells the fox about how clever he was in capturing Chanticleer, and that the fox should shout out how sly and sneaky he was. So, the fox now expressed his pride by...

----

opening his mouth to shout it out, but as he did, the rooster jump out and ran up a tree. And that's [editor circled "t's" and wrote "No contractions" in the margin] how pride got Chanticleer and the fox into trouble.

Now, <s>to conclude this essay,</s> [editor circled "to conclude this essay" and struck it out] Chaucer's Canterbury Tales gives us a great picture of life in the Middle ages. In the "Nun's Priest's Tale," Chanticleer had a dream that showed what was going to happen. And that the Rooster's and the Fox's pride got each other into trouble. And, the rooster and the fox learned <s>that</s> from the mistakes they have made.    <s>Well, that's it for the essay.</s> [editor struck out this last sentence, as well as circling the "t's" in "that's"]
}}
{{collapsible|Planning sheet transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
12/11/98 
English, 1

<center>Canterbury Essay/Nun's Priest's Tale.</center>

F.C.A.'s:
# 4 Paragraphs.
# Strong topic and Clincher sentences for Middle Paragraphs.
# No fragments/No run-ons
# Minimum of 2 examples/incidents in each <s>p</s> Middle Paragraph.
}}
{{collapsible|Grade sheet transcription|
ENGLISH 11 
DORAZIO

<center>''THE CANTERBURY TALES''</center>

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<td>FORMAT</td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> '''(6)''' 4 2 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>CLARITY OF EXPRESSION   </td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> <s>6</s> <s>4</s> '''(2)''' 0</td>
</tr>
</table>
<table>
<tr>
<td>Four paragraphs</td>
<td>'''(20)''' 15 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Complete sentences   </td>
<td><s>20</s> <s>15</s> '''(10)''' 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Examples/incidents</td>
<td><s>20</s> '''(15)''' 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Topic sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Clincher sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
</table>

Total '''69'''/100
</center>
}}

===Japan War Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Outline For Japan War Essay.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay001.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay002.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay003.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay004.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay005.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay006.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay007.jpg
</gallery></center>
A wandering, factually inaccurate essay purported to be about Japan and the United States in World War II, which Chris sagaciously describes as "a very tragic event with [[Megatron pistol|guns]], [[Naïve|insults]], and... [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|yuck]]!". Most of the content is directly cited from other works, several of which are actually about World War I. What little content Chris came up with himself is highly subjective, informally and terribly written (the final draft begins with "this essay is about") and frequently racist. The thesis, if it can so be called, is extremely vague. There is an outline and two drafts of the essay. What mark he received for it can only be guessed at.

Of note is that despite this essay being for his English class, and being corrected on it in the rough draft, Chris wrote parts of the headings in Spanish, including writing his name as [[Spanish|Ricardo]], on the final draft.

{{quote|So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded... So, the US and Japan really wanted to [[Chris and sex|get it on]].|Christian Weston Chandler, top scholar of WWII history}}

{{quote|At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong"... Even the President of the US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.|Chris, not realizing that the sentence that he quoted begins with "At the end of World War I..."}}

{{quote|But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way...|[[United_States_of_America#Chris_on_patriotism|Chris]]}}

{{quote|"Very confusing + unclear."|Chris's English teacher, providing an apt summary of this essay as well as Chris's writing in general}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<s>Christian W.</s> 
Christian W. Chandler 
4/23/99 
English, 1

intro. paragraph: appetizer. introduce topic and give background info. (thesis).

1st body: veggie.

2nd body: potatoes/rice/pasta.

3rd body: meat.

restate thesis: dessert.

Thesis: Now well see how the Japanese people were involved, how the past affected it, and how <s>the</s> <s>it</s> World War II <s>was</s> really started.

----

<center>Japan, 1912-1949 

Christian W. Chandler : 
<s>4/5/</s> 
5/4/99

English, 1</center>

On my honer, I, Christian Weston Chandler, pledge
that this paper reflects my own thoughts.
Any sources used to support my ideas
have been properly documented.

'''Very confusing + unclear.'''

----

Christian W. Chandler 
5/4/99 
English, 1 

Japan, 1912-1949.

This essay is about the second World
War, where the US went against Germany
and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and... yuck! Now
we will see how Japan was involved, how
the past before it affected it, and how the war
was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but,
<s>"Just a litt</s> [Chris almost forgot to skip a line, but corrected himself]
"Just a little skirmish between Japanese troops
on night maneuvers and Chinese troops guarding
the Marco Polo bridge." (Going to war with Japan, P.3). So the war was started only
because of privacy invasion for U.S. But, even
before that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans
had been glowering at each other like boxers from... →

----

P.2 
...opposite corners of a 5,000-mile ring, waiting
for their bout to begin." (War Against Japan,
P.7). So, US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war,
the Japanese were, "Cloistered on their remote islands,
with little contact beyond the sea, they deemed
themselves as a superior race and the rest of the
world as barbarians." (War Against Japan, P.8).
<s>But [illegible]</s> But the real "barbarians," were the
Japanese themselves. The US thought the same
way, and, "When Japan marched into Manchuria in
1931, the US denounce the action and said they
would never recognize Japan's conquest." (Going to war with Japan, P.4). Right then, the
US wanted to prove themselves more superior. →

----

P.3. 
As the war went on, both sides saw
that it was unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was
viewed as sinister."<s>,and fanatical soldiers [illegible]</s> (Forum).
At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow
Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(Going to War with Japan,<s>)</s> P.4). Even the President
of US tried to put <s>and</s> an end to the nasty
war.

<s>So</s>And so, after the war finally ended,
US and Japan came into peace, and <s>some</s>most people from both sides were happy. Now we saw how the war started, and how much Japan was involved.

----

Ricardo W. Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Inglés, 1

<s>Trabajas</s> "Cited."
Moody, Jr., Sidney C., War Against Japan. 
→ Novato, CA. Peridio Press. © 1994.

Utley, Jonathan G., Going to War with Japan. 
→ Knoxville. University of Tennesee Press. © 1985.

"Tojo Hideki." World War II Commemoration. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20081031224316/http://www.grolier.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html http://WWW.grolies.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html]

"At 50 years end: The Legacy of War in <s>J</s> Germany 
→ and Japan." Forum. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20000519221203/http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html].

'''Incorrect format'''

-----

<s>Ricardo</s> <s>(Christian) W.</s> Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Ingles, 1.

Japan, <s>1912-1949</s>: P.1.

''This essay is about'' [teacher circled this and wrote "weak" in margin] the second World War, where the USA
went against Germany and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and...''yuck!'' [teacher wrote a "no" sign over this and wrote "no slang" in margin] Now, ''we'' [teacher circled this and wrote "3rd person" in margin] will see how
Japan was involved, how the past before it affected it, and how the war was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but<s>,</s> "Just
a little skirmish between Japanese troops on night maneuvers
and Chinese troops guarding the Marco Polo Bridge." (''<s>Going to War with Japan'', P.</s>3). [Teacher struck through this and wrote "Author" above it] So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded. But, even before
that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans had ''deem'' [teacher circled this word]
glowering at each other like boxers from opposite corners of
a 5,000-mile ring, waiting for their bout to begin." (''<s>War Against Japan,'' P</s>.7). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] So, the US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war, the Japanese
were, "Cloistered on their remote islands, with little
contact beyond the sea, they deemed themselves as a superior
race and the rest of the world as barbarians." (''War Against Japan,'' P.8). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way, and<s>,</s> "When
Japan marched into Manchuria in 1931, the US denounced the actions, and said they would never recognize Japan's
conquest." (<s>''Going to war with Japan,'' P</s>.4). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] Then, the US wanted to prove themselves more superior.

----

<s>P.2.</s>

As the war went on, both sides saw that it was
unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was viewed as sinister."
(Forum). At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(<s>''Going to War with Japan,'' P.4</s>). Even the President of the
US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.

[teacher wrote "Restate Thesis" in margin] And so, after the war finally ended, the US and Japan
agreed to peace, and most people from both sides were happy.
Now, we saw how the war was started, how the past before it
affected it, and how much Japan was involved.
}}
}}

===Best President Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:BestPresidentEssay001.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay002.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay003.jpg
</gallery></center>
A typically brief essay for Social Studies class in which Chris explains why John F. Kennedy was the best modern president. Both a rough draft and a final draft are included. While the teacher corrected the final draft, all the notations on the rough draft are in Chris's handwriting. Both drafts are typed. The marking can only be described as generous; Chris constantly changes tense incorrectly, all the paragraphs are terse and uninformative, and Chris even manages to misquote the famous line from Kennedy's inaugural address. Chris received a final grade of 43/50, plus an additional ten points because it was typed. Note that the English teacher who gave him this mark made multiple false corrections, crossed out the same mistake the second time it appeared but not the first time, and did not know how to spell "integrity".

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<center>'''TYPE THREE WRITING''' 

'''"WHO WAS OUR BEST PRESIDENT?"''' </center>

Name: Christian Weston Chandler.

Subject Area: Social Studies

Subject Area Teacher: Lockhart

English Teacher: Dorazio

English Period: 1st

----
Christian W. Chandler.

3/25/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

FCA's:

1. Three qualities identified with support. (30 points)

2. Subject/verb agreement. (10 points)

3. Spelling. (10 points)

"Who was our best President" essay:

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton ''is'', [teacher circled this and the word "had" in next two paragraphs and wrote "const. tense" in margin] John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. Three good qualities of Kennedy are that he ''had'' [teacher crossed this out and wrote "possessed"] moral integrity, leadership, and intellect.

Kennedy had ''integrity'' [teacher circled this and wrote "sp." Chris's spelling is not incorrect] when he was President. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and he was a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut. [teacher wrote "weak support" in margin]

Kennedy had leadership when he was a President. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

''And'' [teacher crossed this out] Kennedy had intellect when he was a President. It was obvious; to put $9 billion towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it.[teacher wrote, "another example????"]

''To sum it up'' [teacher crossed this out], John F. Kennedy was the best President; he had moral integrity, leadership, and intellect. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.

[teacher wrote "43/50 +10 typed"]

----
Christian W. Chandler

3/24/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

[At the top of the page, Chris wrote: "F.C.A.'s → 3 qualities I.D. w. support. (30) subject/verb agreement (10) spelling. (10)]

"Who was our best President?" essay (RD): [Rough Draft]

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton is, John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best, [Chris crossed out this comma] because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. ''3'' [Chris crossed this out and wrote, "three"] good qualities of Kennedy are that he was honest, a great leader, and pretty smart. [Chris crossed out "was" and replaced these words with "had moral integrety, leadership, and intellect."]

Kennedy was an ''honest''[Here he drew lines to the above handwritten phrase. The paper is cluttered with many other lines meant to incorporate the new phrasing throughout the essay.] president. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut.

Kennedy was a great leader. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

And Kennedy was a very smart man. It was obvious; to put money towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it. [Here Chris wrote, "$9,000,000,000.00"]

To sum it up, John F. Kennedy was the best President; he was honest, a good leader, and pretty smart. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clintion, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.
}}
}}

===Warm Fuzzies===
<center><gallery>
File:Warm Fuzzies.jpg
File:Warm Fuzzies2.jpg
</gallery></center>
A page in which Chris's classmates wrote positive things about him, presumably as a teacher-mandated attempt to bring each other "Warm Fuzzies" and promote acceptance among the class. Most of his classmates clearly stuck by the adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, give a light, generic compliment instead." The things they wrote suggest that Chris's [[random-access humor]] was in abundant use by this stage.

<center>{{quotebox|
<big>"Warm Fuzzies" for</big> 
Christian W. Chandler.

I Like your clothes 
Is a very funny and nice person 
O.K 
funny 
you are a nice person 
Nice watch 
Your a very funny guy 
You're a good friend 
You tell great jokes. 
You tell fun Jokes
}}
</center>

===Student Life Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Intro Work Vs Student Life.jpg
File:Student Life essay 001.jpg
File:Student Life essay 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A planning sheet and rough draft of an essay about how high school students' jobs affect their school performance (not a problem for Chris, of course). Chris inexplicably drew a star at the beginning of each line. An editor (transcribed below '''in bold'''; hopefully a peer, but unfortunately probably the teacher) has made numerous false corrections of things that were not incorrect, as well as making grievous spelling and grammar errors in their written comments.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Intro.: ["Intro." is circled in red pen] 
Work vs. Students' life . 
1st body.: health, sick, tired injuries, death. ["1st body" is circled in red pen] 
2nd body.: social life, family, friends, time, money. 
3rd body.: education, school-related, make-up work, tired, grades. 
Conclusion. Reccomendations. ["Conclusion" is circled in red pen] 
reasons: personal, $, why?, satisfaction [an arrow is drawn from "reasons" and pointing to "1st body" in red pen]

----

Christian W. Chandler 
2/11/99 
English, 1

Work vs. Student Life: (w. 1st body): (rd)

<s>Some High School students have jobs. And some students don't. But, between school and work, I beleive that during school years, we can waive work, and Save the problem, physically and grade-wise.</s>

'''Health concerns may be a risk to those students who are working.'''

<s>The</s> High School students <s>that</s>'''who''' have jobs, '''may''' could get sick, tired or injured, and could affect their school grades. According to the Man H. S. student work survey, 42% of working students, sometimes oversleep for school. 29% of w-students' grades dropped. 25% students get sick more often. 17%-36% students have a large-moderate amt. of [[stress]]]. 34% students...

----
Christian W. Chandler 
2/12/99 
English, 1

cont... (rd)

...have people at work who stress them out, and 37% say that it comes from co-workers. And 41% students sleep during class. <s>Therefore, all that supports my theory.</s> '''These are all factors of how working will effect a students health.'''

To conclude this essay, I would reccomend that for those students who are interested in a job, to maybe only work on weekends, and wait till the summer to work on weekdays. In fact, according to the survey, if working students had a choice, to quit work or school, 73% said, work is out, school is in. To save on physical and grade-wise problems, we can waive work during the school year.
}}
}}

===S.O.L. Test===
<center><gallery>
File:Student Life essay 003.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris suggests in this [[Wikipedia:Standards of Learning|Standards of Learning]] (SOL) essay that his high school's [[Minor_CWC-isms|"seinor"]] class fund the construction of an indoor swimming pool in the gym as their class gift, exhibiting that [[Chris and money|he has no notion of how much that would cost]]. He alludes to gym teachers having ''"wet-wild" times with the students'' in the prospective pool; it's unclear whether this is an attempt at [[Random-access humor|innuendo]] or that Chris genuinely didn't realize how it sounded.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
3/10/99 
S. O. L. Test, 2

S.O.L. Test:

Every year, the Seinor/Graduating class presents a gift for the school. The money for their gift is taken out of the Seinor fund. Usually, each gift is great for the future students, and the school. My idea for a class gift, would be to have an indoor swimming pool built in the gym area.

With the addittion of the swimming pool, it could do great things for the studnets, and the school, and P.E. classes. Since the students have to wait until next summer to cool off, and exercise in a pool, they could keep those legs and arms "seaworthy" with the pool in the gym. It would also be a great option for P.E. classes, besides basketball, jogging, and weight-lifting, the (PE) teachers could [[Pedofork|have a "wet-wild" time with the students]]. And the school would have a swim-team, and compete with other "pool-filled" schools.

An indoor pool would be a great benefit for the students, school, and P.E. teachers/classes. That is why I think an indoor-swimming pool would be a great graduation gift for the school.
}}
}}
===13 Lucky Writing Tips===
<center><gallery>
File:13 Lucky Writing Tips.jpg
</gallery></center>
This document is perhaps the single most baffling example of Chris's writing currently on record, which is [[Chris and English|no mean feat]]. The 13 Lucky Writing Tips are a list of notes Chris took which were most likely suggestions and recommendations (duly ignored) from a textbook that were read off by a teacher.

Directly contradicting the very first item on the list, Chris switches from English to [[Spanish]] '''mid-sentence''' about a third of the way through the list.

{{quote|1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.|Selected writing tips}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
1/19/99 
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:
# Use standard written English.
# Do not use contractions in formal writing.
# You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
# The thesis statement es el finallié <s>sentenc</s> estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
# Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el <s>[illegible]</s> llama de author y llama de work.
# Los paragraphs support y relaté qúe el thesis.
# Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
# Los details support y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
# Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
# Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
# Necisitas tres muchaco <s>point</s> mirar de pointé.
# Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
# Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
}}

==[[Spanish]]==
===Adjectives worksheet===
[[File:Tengo que ir rápido.jpg|thumb]]
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 003.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
This work is dated 8/2/99, most likely referring to 8 February [[1999]] using the [[Wikipedia:Date format by country|Spanish date format]]. Chris used pop culture figures ([[Pokémon]], [[Sonic]], [[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|''The Powerpuff Girls'']]) to illustrate vocabulary words. Chris's class seems to have watched Spanish dubs of ''The Powerpuff Girls'' in class<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>, so for once he had an excuse for shoving fictional characters into his schoolwork. His Pokémon are revealing: he describes Christian the Charmeleon as ''muy delgado'' ("[[Obesity|very thin]]"), [[Spanish#Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]] the Raichu as ''muy divertido'' ("[[Random access humor|very funny]]"), and [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] the Beedrill as ''muy feo'' ("very ugly").

This appears to be Chris's earliest reference to Pokemon. It had been introduced in North America four months earlier.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''Nombre:''' Ricardo W. Chandler 
'''Fecha:''' 8/2/99

[graded 20/20 in green pen]

<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Palabra (adjetivo)'''</th>
<th>'''Dibujo (en color)'''</th>
<th>'''Oracion completa'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>'''grande'''</td>
<td></td>
<td>'''El elefante es muy grande.'''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>rápido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el puerco erizino es muy rápido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>gordo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mario es muy gordo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>especial</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sra. Boyle es muy especial.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>delgado</td>
<td></td>
<td>Christian el Charmeleon es muy delgado.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>guapo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el Wartortle es guapo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>divertido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Ricacdo el Raichu es muy divertido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>serio</td>
<td></td>
<td>Flyer el Pidgeot es muy serio en las batallas.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>feo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Cole el Beedrill es muy feo.</td>
</tr>
----
<tr>
<td>malo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rattrap el Ratticate es muy malo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>inteligente</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rocky el Golem es inteligente.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>pelirrojo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Blossom es pelirroja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bajo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Buttercup es baja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>sempático</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bubbles es muy sempática.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>añtipatico</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dexter es muy antipatico.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>alto</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dee Dee es muy alta.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>aburrido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mo-Jo<s>-</s>Jo-Jo es muy aburrìdo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bueno</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bomberman es muy bueno.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>fuerte</td>
<td></td>
<td>Knuckles el enchidna es muy fuerte.</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

{{clear}}

===''Las Profesiones'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 001.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
This ungraded worksheet deals with labeling various people with job titles, and then stating whether they are ''bueno o malo'' ("good or bad"— at their work, presumably). Chris refers to Ricardo as a ''bombero'' ("[[Destruction Of Chris's House|firefighter]]"), and to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] as an ''ingeniero técnico'' ("technical engineer"). Demonstrating his mastery of Spanish, Chris described every single person on the worksheet as ''bueno'', and wrote ''de'' ("of"[masc.]) instead of ''es'' ("is") for a few rows, resulting in nonsensical phrases like ''April de reportera de TV bueno.'' ("April of good TV reporter.").
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler.

'''<big>Las Profesiones</big>'''
<table>
<tr>
<th>Dibujo</th>
<th>Formas Diferentes </th>
<th>Nombre en una oración completa </th>
<th>Bueno o Malo ? (oración completa) </th>
<th>Notes</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>medico medica medicos medicas </td>
<td>Pablo es medico </td>
<td>Palo es medico bueno. </td>
<td>Doctor</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>profesor profesora profesores profesoras </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora buena </td>
<td>Teacher</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>bombero bombero bomberos bomberos </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero. </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero bueno. </td>
<td>Fire Fighter </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>abogado abogada abogaos abogadas </td>
<td>Maro es abogado. </td>
<td>Mario es abogado bueno. </td>
<td>Lawer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>secretario secretaria secretarios secretarias </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria. </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria bueno. </td>
<td>Secretary</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>fontanero fontanera fontaneros fontaneras </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero. </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero bueno. </td>
<td>Plumber</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td><s>Engineer</s> ingeniero ingeniera ingenieros ingenieras </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero, técnico. <s>bueno</s> </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero <s>tech</s> técnico bueno. </td>
<td>Engineer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>enfermero enfermera enfermeros enfermeras </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera. </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera bueno. </td>
<td>Nurse</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>arquitecto arquitecta arquitectos arquitectas </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto. </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto bueno. </td>
<td>Architect</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>dentista dentista dentistas dentistas </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista. </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista bueno. </td>
<td>Dentist</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>camereo camerea camereos camereas </td>
<td>Jose es camereo. </td>
<td>Jose es camereo bueno. </td>
<td>Waiter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>reportero reportera reporteros reporteras </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV. </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV bueno. </td>
<td>Reporter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>cajero cajera cajeros cajeras </td>
<td>Sara de cajera. </td>
<td>Sara de cajera bueno. </td>
<td>Cashier</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>presidente presidente presidentes presidentes </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente. </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente bueno. </td>
<td>President</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

===''En mi cuarto'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Chris Old Bedroom Large.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris describes the contents of [[Chris's room|his room]], circa 1998. His list is, mercifully, not exhaustive.

===''Las profesiones y nacionalidad''===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Professions 001 (1).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (2).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (3).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (4).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (5).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (6).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (7).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (8).jpg
</gallery></center>
[[File:Spanish homework - Lego motorcycle police drawing.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and art|Hm, yeah... Looks about right.]]]]
A worksheet which required pictures of six different professions and six different flags, with one profession and flag combination per page, and sentences describing each page (e.g. ''El es un médico cubano'', or "He is a Cuban doctor"). Chris opted to hand-draw each page with Crayola Magic Markers, using [[Lego]] minifigures and/or Lego catalog photos as models. Note that the [[United States of America|United States]] flag (complete with 25 pentagrams and 15 stripes) is depicted waving in the breeze, while the flags of all other nations are shown flat.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
''10/13/98 (due date)'' 
Nombre: ''Ricardo W. Chandler'' 
Clase: ''4'' 
Fecha ''10/11/98''

<big>'''Las profesiones y nacionalidad'''</big>

# Draw, cut from a magazine, or computer generate, six pictures of different professions. ''(color)''
# Pictures musts be in color.
# Each picture must be mounted (glued or taped) on a separate 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper. (NO NOTEBOOK PAPER!!)
# At the bottom of each sheet draw a picture of a flag (at least 3 x 5) from a different country. Each sheet must have a different flag. A total of six countries must be represented.
# On a SEPARATE sheet of paper you will write a sentence describing the person's profession and nationality.
:EJEMPLO: ''El es un médico cubano.'' 
:::''Ella es una abogada ínglesa.''

You will be graded on the following:

<table>
<tr>
<td>6 pictures of professions attached to an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Pictures in color.</td>
<td>2 pts.</td>
<td>2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>One flag attached to each profession.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Sentences describing person's profession and nationality.</td>
<td>12 pts.</td>
<td>10</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''TOTAL:''' 30/<s>30</s>/32 
'''GRADE:''' A 
[Teacher wrote "Great pictures" and "''¡Muy creativo!''".]

----

# ''El es un policia Estadounidense.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for missing the ´ mark in ''policía''.]
# ''El es un combatiente Japonés.''
# ''El es un cartero Chino.''
# ''El es un mecánico Españolo.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "o" in ''Españolo'', then changed it to a full point. Note that Chris depicted the Mexican flag, not the Spanish flag, but the teacher apparently didn't notice and/or care.]
# ''El es un bombero Canadiense.''
# ''El es un Constricción trabajadora Italiano.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "a" in ''trabajadora''.]
}}

==Chemistry==
===Mock Job Interview===
<center><gallery>
File:Pretend Job interview Chem Class 001.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 002.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 003.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Getting Acquainted===
<center><gallery>
File:Getting Aquainted Chemistry Class.jpg
</gallery></center>
A bingo-like "icebreaker" activity in which the students of the class were supposed to get to know each other by exchanging personal trivia. Chris refused to talk to any [[JERKS|male students]], and left the grid incomplete (including the square he was supposed to fill in himself).

Transcription (classmates' answers in '''bold'''):
<blockquote style="background-color:#f0f0f0">
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|DATE ||''9/8/98'' || CHAPTER ||
|-
|NAME ||''Christian Chandler'' || PERIOD || ''2''
|}

<center>GETTING ACQUAINTED</center>

Have one person from this class sign and complete each of the boxes. Try to remember interesting facts about each of your classmates. See how many different signatures you can collect. Don't waste time.

<center>
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align:center"
|-
|Has an unusual pet. What is it?|| Is taking a music class. '''Heidi''' What period? '''3+7'''||Lives in my neighborhood. What neighborhood?||Has flown in an airplane. '''Sarah''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Moved to this area recently. How long ago?
|-
|Has traveled out of the US. '''Dana''' Where to? '''Korea'''||Has two or more sisters. '''Maranda''' Their names? '''Mandy Megan'''||Dislikes a food I like. What food?||Has a sibling in college. What college?||Is wearing something yellow. What?
|-
|Is older than me. '''Heidi''' How old? '''18'''||Was born outside Virginia. Where?||Me !! Favorite color?||Drove a car to school today. What make?||Is taller than me. How tall?
|-
|Will play a varsity sport. What sport?||Has ridden on a train. '''Kellie''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Attended first grade outside Chesterfield. Where?||Is younger than me. '''Natasha''' How old? '''17 yr.'''||Is in another class with me. What class?
|-
|Has seen "Men in Black". How many times?||Has two or more brothers. Their names?||Has four or more pets. How many?||Likes a food I dislike. What food?||Has a toothbrush the same color as mine. What color?
|}
</center>

Have you completed the box in the center of the grid? When you have completed five boxes in a row (diagonally, horizontally or vertically) show the results to me for my approval and further instructions.
</blockquote>

==Safety Worksheets==
===Safety in the Kitchen worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 001.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A dull worksheet designed to educated children about kitchen safety. This worksheet evidently had little effect on Chris, since he went on to [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|slip on cat shit in the kitchen]] and then [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|burn down his house]] because of a kitchen-related accident.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler.'' Date ''10/29/98'' Class Hour     

'''RETEACHING''' 
Section 7.2 
Safety in the Kitchen

<center>'''<big>Safety First</big>'''</center>

The purpose of this activity is to review safety guidelines for working in the kitchen.

'''Directions:''' How well do you know the safety rules that you should follow in the kitchen? Show what you know by answering each question.

'''General Safety''' 
1. What should you do after you open a cabinet door or drawer? Why? 
:''close them ; you could get hurt if you bump into it if it's open.''

2. Where should heavy pots and pans be stored? Why? 
:''low shelves ; you can reach them safely.''

3. What might happen if you wear dangling jewelry or sleeves when working in the kitchen? 
:''they could catch fire or get tangled in appliances.''

'''Preventing Falls''' 
4. What is the safe way to reach something on a high shelf? 
:''use firm step stool.''

5. What should you do if you spill something on the floor of the kitchen? Why? 
:''clean up; to prevent falls.''

'''Sharp Objects''' 
6. Where should knives be stored? 
:''in <s>÷</s> drawer ÷ or rack.''

7. Why shouldn't you soak knives in the sink? 
:''you could cut yourself.''

8. If there is broken glass on the floor, how should you clean it up? 
:''w. wet paper towel .''

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe''' 
'''43'''

----

Name     Date     Class Hour    

<center>Section 7.2 Reteaching (continued)</center>

'''Electrical Safety''' 
9. What is an important rule to remember about electricity and water? 
:''combined = serious shock.''

10. What could happen if you plug too many appliances into one outlet? 
:''it could start a fire.''

11. What is the correct way to unplug an appliance? 
:''grasp ^cord at electrical outlet.''

'''Hazardous Chemicals''' 
12. Why is it unsafe to mix two cleaning products together? 
:''could give off poisonous fumes.''

13. What should you do before buying any household chemical? Why? 
:''read label <s>caf</s> carefully; to be sure of [?] to follow directions.''

14. Where should household chemicals be stored? 
:''away from food, where children can't reach them, and away from heat source.''

'''Range and Microwave Safety''' 
15. What is the safe way to take a hot pan out of the oven? 
:''using potholders or oven mitts.''

16. What is the safe way to uncover a hot pan on the range? 
:''lift far edge corner first.''

17. What should you do if a fire starts inside the microwave oven? 
:''turn off microwave, and keep door closed 'til fire goes out.''

<center>If you need help, see pages 188-194 in your textbook.</center>

'''44''' 
'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe'''
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety outline===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 003.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
An outline on kitchen safety. As with the worksheet, Chris failed to absorb most of the guidelines here, unless [[Twitter#29_June_2013|"putting bandages on our Mom's holey buttocks"]] counts as "[guarding] against pests/bugs".
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/29/98 
Food 4 Fit., 7

Safety:

I. A. Hold knife by handle cut away from finders; use cutting board. 
:B. Wash knives seperately. 
:C. Insert beaters or blades before plugging in 
:D. Beware of sharp edges on can lids. 
:E. Clean up glass w. wet paper towel.

II. Prevent Burns: 
:A. Use wooden spoons to stir. 
:B. Use potholders for both stove & microwave. 
:C. Turn pan handles to center. 
:D. Lift far side of pot's lid; so steam escapes away from you. 
:E. Don't put fry pans on table - drape extension cords. 
:F. Run cold water on any burning skin

III. Prevent Fires: 
:A. Keep all flammable materials away from burners. 
:B. Don't wear loose garments; big steeves. 
:C. Keep stove top and oven free of grease; clean hood. 
:D. Smother grease fire; turn off heat, then cover. 
:E. Turn off gas stove... if you smell gas.

IV. Prevent Shocks: 
:A. 1 appliance in 1 outlet at a time; unplug when not in use. 
:B. No fray cords/broken.

→

----

:C. Keep electrical appliances away from water or wet hands. 
:D. Don't stick metal utensils in a toaster.

V. Prevent Falls: 
:A. Clean Up spills. 
:B. Remove anything you might trip over; toys; shoes, etc... 
:C. Use a step stool... not a chair or box. 
:D. Non-slip rugs.

VI. Prevent Spread of Bacteria and Germs. 
:A. Sanitize surfaces; soap<s>,</s> and bleach (use). 
:B. Wash hands. 
:C. Keep hair up. 
:D. don't use stirring spoon to taste. 
:E. sneeze/cough.... rewash hands. 
:F. wash fruits, vegetables, can tops. 
:G. <s>guad a</s> guard against pests/bugs. 
:H. Store foods properly.. shelf life. 
:I. Fats/Protein (meat, fish, milk, eggs, poultry, mago), bacteria grows fast, wash any surface they have been on <s>bf</s> before re-using.

VII. Prevent food poisoning: 
:A. Avoid danger zone, 60°-125°F, when bacteria grows fast.

→
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 005.jpg
</gallery></center>
A true/false worksheet on kitchen safety. Chris's answers have been corrected and each has been marked with either a checkmark or a smiley, with no apparent pattern.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
''Christian W. Chandler''

<center>Kitchen Safety</center>

True or False

 ''f''  ✓  1. Grease and oils are non-flammable liquids. ["non-flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ✓  2. It takes approximately one hour for grease to burst ''15-20 min.'' into flames. 
 ''t''  ✓  3. Tie long hair back while preparing food. 
 ''f''  ✓  4. It is okay to wear long, loose sleeves while cooking. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 5. The quickest way to put out a glease fire is with water. 
 ''f''  ✓  6. Turn burners on to "high" to allow the frying pan to reach the maximum heat quicker. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺  7. If you have a choice, cook on back burners. 
 ''t''  ✓  8. Never move a pan that is on fire. 
 ''t''  ✓  9. If a pan fire occurs, cover quickly with a cookie sheet then turn off the burner. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 10. If a fire occurs in an oven, shut the door and turn off the heating source. 
 ''t''  ✓ 11. Metal may cause arcing and fires in the microwave. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 12. Sugars and jellies can reach scalding temperatures in the microwave. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 13. One-half of fire deaths are caused by kitchen fires. 
 ''f''  ✓ 14. If your clothes catch on fire, run to the nearest water supply. 
 ''t''  ✓ 15. Hairspray is a flammable liquid. ["flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ☺ 16. Baking soda is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ☺ 17. Flour is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ✓ 18. Smoke alarms should be checked frequently ''monthly'' to see if they are in working condition. 
 ''f''  ✓ 19. Run hot water on burns.
}}
}}

==References==
<references/>
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

User:Acrylicpaint

2016-02-01T20:55:14Z

Acrylicpaint: /* My name */

I have been a fan of Chris since 2009.

== My name ==

My user name comes from [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008]]. When admonishing Jimmy Hill's knockoff Sonichu merchandise for its low quality, Chris comments that [[Chris and his ego|he could make a better action figure]] "...with ''acrylic paint'', even! So simple, and so ''crappy''." The [[Speech impediment|distinct, singsongy, rhythmic way]] Chris says these words left a large impression on me, and it has become one of my favorite CWC quotes.

'''[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Acrylic PAINT!]]''' is also one of the two substances needed to create a TRUE and HONEST official Sonichu medallion, the other being '''CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC'''.

== Userboxes ==

{|
| -
| {{Christian}}{{Americunt}}{{Straight}}{{White}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Armchair Psychologist}}
| -
| {{ClydeCash}}{{VivianGee}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}{{LiquidChris}}{{Evan}}{{JackThaddeus}}
| -
| {{ClassicChris}}{{PS2}}{{Wii}}{{Weeaboo}}{{Pedofork}}{{Naive}}
|}

User:Acrylicpaint

2016-02-01T20:54:53Z

Acrylicpaint:

I have been a fan of Chris since 2009.

== My name ==

My user name comes from [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008]]. When admonishing Jimmy Hill's knockoff Sonichu merchandise for its low quality, Chris comments that [[Chris and his ego|he could make a better action figure]] "...with ''acrylic paint'', even! So simple, and so ''crappy''." The [[Speech impediment|distinct, singsongy, rhythmic way]] Chris says these words left a large impression on me, and has become one of my favorite CWC quotes.

'''[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Acrylic PAINT!]]''' is also one of the two substances needed to create a TRUE and HONEST official Sonichu medallion, the other being '''CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC'''.

== Userboxes ==

{|
| -
| {{Christian}}{{Americunt}}{{Straight}}{{White}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Armchair Psychologist}}
| -
| {{ClydeCash}}{{VivianGee}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}{{LiquidChris}}{{Evan}}{{JackThaddeus}}
| -
| {{ClassicChris}}{{PS2}}{{Wii}}{{Weeaboo}}{{Pedofork}}{{Naive}}
|}

User:Acrylicpaint

2016-02-01T20:54:34Z

Acrylicpaint: Created page with "{| style="width: 240px; height: auto; float: right; border: 2px solid #ccf;" | |} I have been a fan of Chris since 2009. == My name == My user name comes from Chris Chan..."

{| style="width: 240px; height: auto; float: right; border: 2px solid #ccf;"
|
|}

I have been a fan of Chris since 2009.

== My name ==

My user name comes from [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008]]. When admonishing Jimmy Hill's knockoff Sonichu merchandise for its low quality, Chris comments that [[Chris and his ego|he could make a better action figure]] "...with ''acrylic paint'', even! So simple, and so ''crappy''." The [[Speech impediment|distinct, singsongy, rhythmic way]] Chris says these words left a large impression on me, and has become one of my favorite CWC quotes.

'''[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Acrylic PAINT!]]''' is also one of the two substances needed to create a TRUE and HONEST official Sonichu medallion, the other being '''CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC'''.

== Userboxes ==

{|
| -
| {{Christian}}{{Americunt}}{{Straight}}{{White}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Armchair Psychologist}}
| -
| {{ClydeCash}}{{VivianGee}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}{{LiquidChris}}{{Evan}}{{JackThaddeus}}
| -
| {{ClassicChris}}{{PS2}}{{Wii}}{{Weeaboo}}{{Pedofork}}{{Naive}}
|}

Punchy Sonichu

2016-02-01T20:54:15Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Garrery */ to match the other titles in the "Garrery"

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Punchy.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Punchy Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| [[Sonichu chronology#1989|2 February 1989]] (in universe)
No later than 17 August 2004 (IRL)<ref>Chris created a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards|Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Card]] of Punchy on 17 August 2004. It can therefore be inferred that Punchy was not created at any point later than this date.</ref>
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 4'7"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref> (122 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Master Nabe (adoptive father)
|-
| '''Education'''
| CWCville University ([[Dating Education]])<ref>See the events of [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]]</ref>
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric/Fighting
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] (with Hard Stone)
|-
|}
[[File:ModNation Punchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]
'''Punchy Sonichu''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]], formed from eggs released by the [[Chaotic Rainbow]] as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]]. He is a Fighting/Electric type [[Pokémon]]. He has stated that he is very attracted to [[Angelica]], but ended up paired with [[Layla]], whom Chris has drawn giving him a blowjob. Punchy is thought to be a [[Chris and race|racist]] Asian stereotype due to his [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanted eyes]] and martial arts upbringing, although his eyes may be based on the fighting Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Hitmonlee|Hitmonlee]]. Chris denies that Punchy is of Asian origin.<ref>[[Mailbag_6#Asian people call Chris out on Punchy|Mailbag 6]]</ref>

However, the eyes seem to have been altered in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he looks (even more) like all the other Sonic recolors. Punchy is also a shitty [[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles the Echidna]] knockoff, right down to the crescent-shaped birthmark on his chest, dreadlocks and clawed punching gloves, which makes one wonder why he isn’t an "Electric Echidna Pokémon". He is a combination of four characters:

*[[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonlee]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonchan]]

Because Punchy is one of Chris's remotely amusing OCs due to the almost complete lack of originality (more or less simply a headswap of Knuckles) and the ([[Chris and race|possibly unintentional]]) racism of his design, he is a favorite amongst [[trolls]].

Punchy is also billed as a "master of [[Random-access humor|random-access humor]]" (which is to say he supposedly has the same shitty sense of humor as Chris), but he has not actually demonstrated this trait even once in the comics. It finally surfaced in a video, [[SonichuBabies]], over a decade after Chris created him -- much to the anticipation of no-one. This in contrast to [[Wild Sonichu]], who has done so several times.<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_3/Page_3|Issue 3, Page 3}}</ref><ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_9/Page_6|Issue 9, Page 6}}</ref>
==Comic appearances==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===

Punchy's Sonee egg lands in a [[Wikipedia:Dojo|Dōjō]], more specifically 'Nabe's Dojo-Shin', where Master [[Excel Saga|Nabe]] is teaching his student [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Mypoe|Mypoe]] to fight. After hatching, Mypoe challenges Punchy, who is still in his infantile [[Sonee]] form. She rips his tail off and this angers him into evolving quickly. He uppercuts her so hard that she flies through the ceiling and into the sky, and presumably to the [[The Moon|Moon]]. However, Chris would clarify years later that Mypoe "survived the trip; she landed into a pile of hay in a wagon right by her house far from the Dojo."<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref> Things apparently got a lot bleaker after that: according to the [[CWCipedia]] article for Sonichu (of all things), Chris explains that Master Nabe was brutally murdered by a jealous student and that Punchy avenged his tutor by killing the assassin himself. Punchy then buried both of them behind the school and continues to live there. Disturbingly, Punchy's main concern at the exact same time was getting Chris to turn the electricity back on at the Dojo so he could watch television.

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

[[Image:SchuPunchyRacistLips.jpg|thumb|130px|''Totarry'' not Asian.]]

While Punchy punches rocks into the air as part of his martial arts training his claws accidentally collide with [[Blake]]'s hover board, which causes Punchy to hitch a ride. He eventually falls off and crashes into a tree where he meets the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members. He compliments [[Angelica]] on her flowers, neglecting to point out her over-sized breasts. This is likely the beginning of his infatuation with her. After this, they all beat up Blake.
===[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Smashed Hearts & Entrapment]]===

Punchy and the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members are teleported into action by Chris. He has no speaking lines here, because Chris can’t be bothered to give any of his characters a personality.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot]]===

While everyone is pretending to worry about [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(character)|Crystal]], Punchy tactfully thinks to himself “I’m missing my Samurai Pizza Cats.” When the girls start talking about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s basketball abilities, [[Wild]] and Punchy act like jealous children. Punchy thinks women should be more impressed by his brute strength than Bionic’s athletic talent. When [[Patti]] remarks on how sweet Chris is, Punchy tells her what an ass-kisser she is (cementing his place in the hearts of trollkind).

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break]]===

Here, Punchy reveals his feelings for [[Angelica]] to Wild. He says he doesn’t know how to ask a girl out and is too afraid to make the first move. Wild then informs him that the [[CWCville]] University is offering a [[Dating Education]] course. This thrills Punchy, who insists on signing up for it as soon as possible.

===[[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Date Ed]]===

In this story, Punchy goes to the CWCville University to learn how to date. The teacher fixes Punchy up with [[Layla]] and he completely forgets about Angelica. Using his totally awesome [[Prower|motorcycle with a sidecar]], he takes Layla on his first date to the classiest joint in CWCville - [[McDonald's]]. [[Reginald Sneasel]] tries to sabotage their relationship, but fails.

===[[Episode_20#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]]===

Punchy, Wild, and Reginald Sneasel all get laid immediately after Dating Ed (probably on the [[third date]]). Punchy supposedly has a hangover at the beginning of this episode despite the fact that [[Alcohol|drinking]] was illegal in CWCville two seconds ago.

== Rove Quest ==

Punchy had a major hard-on for [[Angelica]], but then after meeting [[Layla]] he forgot all about her, probably realizing Angelica wasn't going to put out as quickly as Layla would. Turns out Punchy was wrong as Angelica is a dirty slut for Reginald Sneasel.

While Punchy was portrayed as a typical hapless shy suitor completely befuddled on how to approach the opposite sex (i.e. Chris-chan, Wild, Sonichu, etc.) Punchy deviates from the norm by being the only non-[[jerk]] male to make the first move in approaching a lady in the series once he sees an opening. By being willing to change himself and his methods, keeping his options open, remaining optimistic about his chances of seducing someone, being relaxed when talking to a potential partner of the opposite sex, and improvising when things didn't quite go his way the author ''once again'' inadvertently wrote a scathing indictment on the haplessness of his own [[Love Quest]].

"[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]" reveals that either Layla likes it rough in the sack or Punchy gets off on smacking her around.

== Prower, the Motorbike of Fail ==

: ''Main article: [[Prower]]''

According to [[CWCipedia]], Punchy's aforementioned totally awesome motorcycle, [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Prower]], doubles as a ninja [[Transformers|Autobot]] with "Razor-Sharp Choppin' Hands, Shuriken Stars and holographic images." This makes Punchy a "Sharp close-bot attacker," as well as yet another manifestation of Chris's rampant plagiarism.

==Garrery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card
Image:273-ACPunchyBck.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card, reverse
Image:274PunchyCard.jpg|[[Pokémon|Poketto Monsuta]] card
Image:275-YuPunchy.jpg|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yuugiou]]'' card
Image:Punchylaylalove.jpg|[[Punchy]] rearry [[Tomgirl Pictures|roves to wear]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|radies ringerie]].
Image:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|Punchy rearry rike browjob!!!
Image:ProwerBot.jpg|[[Prower]], Punchy's [[Transformer]]
Image:ProwerVehicle2.jpg
Image:ProwerVehicle.jpg
Image:276-Punchy.jpg
File:Lego Punchy.jpg|[[LEGO]] Punchy.
File:PunchyA.jpg|Punchy [[Amiibo]].
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Punchy Sonichu}}
<references />

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Yellow-Shirted Foe

2016-01-31T22:06:48Z

Acrylicpaint:

{{quote|I’m very serious in this. Your lack of response has left me most upset! [[26 December 2014|My yellow-shirted foe!]] Mm! And you will lose business because of this!|[[Chris]] trying to blackmail someone he maced over a video game}}
{{clear}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | JERKS
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:yllwshrt.jpg]]
|-
! colspan="2" |The Yellow-Shirted Foe, shortly after experiencing the fateful macing.
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| GameStop Assistant Manager
|-
|}

The Yellow-Shirted Foe, previously known as the [[Manajerk|Ass-Manager]], was an innocent GameStop employee doing his job on the fateful day of [[26 December 2014|December 26th 2014.]]
Likely tired after the festive period and looking forward to returning home to his loved ones, his day took a turn for the worse when a [[Chris|cross-dressing manchild]], previously banned for acts of vandalism sprayed him with pepper spray for no valid reason, causing immense pain and eye irritation. He was the sole victim of the attack on blue arms.

After Chris was taken to court and found guilty, his Yellow-Shirted Foe would come under scrutiny once more on [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers|November 29th 2015]] where it would be revealed that Chris blames him for his various bans and has decided to add him to his list of enemies.

Time will only tell what will become of the Yellow-Shirted Foe, if he will get back in contact with Chris, or if indeed Chris will try and force further contact with his assault victim.

==26 December 2014==
{{main|26 December 2014}}

The Yellow-Shirted Foe worked the Boxing Day Shift at a Game Stop in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], where Chris was trespassing. Considering he had been banned for vandalizing store displays in the past, his Yellow-Shirted Foe was one of the employees to confront him and ordered him to leave.

When Chris put up argument, his Yellow-Shirted Foe left to fetch security and Chris retaliated by yelling out "DON'T CALL ANYBODY" and macing him as he passed by on his way out.
The Yellow-Shirted Foe would press charges and over the course of nearly a year, Chris attended various Court Hearings until October 15th when Chris would be found Guilty.

==29 November 2015==

Chris accuses his Yellow-Shirted Foe of holding a vendetta against him (which given the circumstances IS entirely plausible and understandable), and has encouraged his various bans.
Revealing a long-winded typical [[Apology Letters|Chris-Chan Apology]] in which he at one point attempts to blackmail his Yellow-Shirted Foe by making a baseless accusation that he is working several jobs and threatens to report him to the Better Business Bureau, Chris tells us the apology was ignored which ignites his wrath.

Chris goes further to accuse him of being bigoted towards the LGBT and Autistic community, never wondering if perhaps his Yellow-Shirted Foe himself is LGBT, or is on the Autistic Spectrum.
Content with his assumption, he urges his fans to boycott GameStop and various affiliates in protest against his Yellow-Shirted Foe's alleged discrimination.

Chris expects his apology to be accepted simply because he made the effort to make one at all.
Disregarding that his Yellow-Shirted Foe lost working time and money due to the incident, or the possibility he had been asthmatic or allergic, results could have been catastrophic.

 
{{People}}

[[Category: Manajerks]]
[[Category: People]]

Template:People

2016-01-31T22:04:12Z

Acrylicpaint: Added Yellow-Shirted Foe

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''---- [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s People ----'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
'''[[14 Branchland Court|At home]]:'''
[[Bob Chandler]] |
[[Barbara Chandler]] |
[[Patti Chandler]] |
[[Chandler Cats|The Chandler Cats]] |
[[Clover and Snoopy]]

'''[[Chandler Family Tree|Family]]:'''
[[Minor Family Members]] |
[[Cole Smithey]] |
[[Aunt Corrina]] |
[[Daniel Weston]] |
[[Anne Boleyn]] |
[[Reginald Chandler]] |
[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]

'''Enemies:'''
[[Michael Snyder]] |
[[Adam Stackhouse]] |
[[Wes Iseli]] |
[[Mary Lee Walsh]] |
[[CADD Chef]] |
[[Bagget]] |
[[ScotPalazzo]] |
[[Manajerks]] |
[[B-Manajerk]] |
[[Jerkhief]] |
[[W-M-Manajerk]] |
[[Merried Seinor Comic|Kirby McDerbie]] |
[[Yellow-Shirted Foe]]

'''[[Jerks]]:'''
[[Joseph Herring]] |
[[Lucas]] |
[[Joshua Martinez]]

'''[[Sweethearts]]:'''
[[Blanca Weiss]] |
[[PandaHalo]] |
[[BlueSpike]] |
[[Sarah Jackson]] |
[[Emily]] |
[[Ivy]] |
[[Kacey]] |
[[Jackie]] |
[[Catherine]]

'''[[Gal-Pals]]:'''
[[Laura Dorazio]] |
[[Tiffany Gowen]] |
[[Kellie Andes]] |
[[Megan Schroeder]] |
[[Anna McLerran]] |
[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] |
[[The Wallflower]] |
[[Kim Wilson]]

'''The Asperpedia Four:'''
[[Alec Benson Leary]] |
[[Evan]] |
[[Asperchu#Sean|Sean August Watley]] |
[[Asperpedia|Mao]]

'''[[Trolls]]:'''
[[Liquid Chris]] |
[[Clyde Cash]] |
[[Jack Thaddeus]] |
[[Jason Kendrick Howell]] |
[[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] |
[[Man in the Pickle Suit]] |
[[BILLY MAYS]] |
[[Vivian Gee]] |
[[Sarah May]] |
[[Robert Simmons V]] |
[[Jimmy Hill]] |
[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] |
[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] |
[[Takashi Tezuka]] |
[[Jay Z]] |
[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] |
[[Omar Woodley]] |
[[Jeff/Francine]]

'''Other:'''
[[Abusive babysitter]] |
[[Hanna]] |
[[Ryan Cash]] |
[[Vanessa Hudgens]] |
[[Bruce Johnson]] |
[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]] |
[[Rocky Shoemaker]] |
[[Rob Bell]] |
[[William Elliott Waterman]] |
[[Mia Hamm]] |
[[Lori Lopez]] |
[[Caitlin]] |
[[Chloe]] |
[[Officer Nasty]] |
[[Kimmi]] |
[[Kenneth Erwin Englehardt]]
|}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to the people in Chris's life. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Yellow-Shirted Foe

2016-01-31T22:03:05Z

Acrylicpaint: Adding categories + template

{{quote|I’m very serious in this. Your lack of response has left me most upset! [[26 December 2014|My yellow-shirted foe!]] Mm! And you will lose business because of this!|[[Chris]] trying to blackmail someone he maced over a video game}}
{{clear}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | JERKS
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:yllwshrt.jpg]]
|-
! colspan="2" |''The Yellow-Shirted Foe, shortly after experiencing the fateful macing.''
|-
! colspan="2" |The Yellow-Shirted Foe
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| GameStop Assistant Manager
|-
|}

The Yellow-Shirted Foe, previously known as the [[Manajerk|Ass-Manager]], was an innocent GameStop employee doing his job on the fateful day of [[26 December 2014|December 26th 2014.]]
Likely tired after the festive period and looking forward to returning home to his loved ones, his day took a turn for the worse when a [[Chris|cross-dressing manchild]], previously banned for acts of vandalism sprayed him with pepper spray for no valid reason, causing immense pain and eye irritation. He was the sole victim of the attack on blue arms.

After Chris was taken to court and found guilty, his Yellow-Shirted Foe would come under scrutiny once more on [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers|November 29th 2015]] where it would be revealed that Chris blames him for his various bans and has decided to add him to his list of enemies.

Time will only tell what will become of the Yellow-Shirted Foe, if he will get back in contact with Chris, or if indeed Chris will try and force further contact with his assault victim.

==26 December 2014==
{{main|26 December 2014}}

The Yellow-Shirted Foe worked the Boxing Day Shift at a Game Stop in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], where Chris was trespassing. Considering he had been banned for vandalizing store displays in the past, his Yellow-Shirted Foe was one of the employees to confront him and ordered him to leave.

When Chris put up argument, his Yellow-Shirted Foe left to fetch security and Chris retaliated by yelling out "DON'T CALL ANYBODY" and macing him as he passed by on his way out.
The Yellow-Shirted Foe would press charges and over the course of nearly a year, Chris attended various Court Hearings until October 15th when Chris would be found Guilty.

==29 November 2015==

Chris accuses his Yellow-Shirted Foe of holding a vendetta against him (which given the circumstances IS entirely plausible and understandable), and has encouraged his various bans.
Revealing a long-winded typical [[Apology Letters|Chris-Chan Apology]] in which he at one point attempts to blackmail his Yellow-Shirted Foe by making a baseless accusation that he is working several jobs and threatens to report him to the Better Business Bureau, Chris tells us the apology was ignored which ignites his wrath.

Chris goes further to accuse him of being bigoted towards the LGBT and Autistic community, never wondering if perhaps his Yellow-Shirted Foe himself is LGBT, or is on the Autistic Spectrum.
Content with his assumption, he urges his fans to boycott GameStop and various affiliates in protest against his Yellow-Shirted Foe's alleged discrimination.

Chris expects his apology to be accepted simply because he made the effort to make one at all.
Disregarding that his Yellow-Shirted Foe lost working time and money due to the incident, or the possibility he had been asthmatic or allergic, results could have been catastrophic.

{{People}}

[[Category: Manajerks]]
[[Category: People]]

March 2016

2016-01-31T20:57:27Z

Acrylicpaint:

'''March''' is the third month of '''[[2016]]'''.

==Events of March 2016==
* 17 March - [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|St. Patrick's Day]].

{{Timeline}}

Star Wars

2016-01-31T15:24:32Z

Acrylicpaint: /* References by Chris */

{{Merge|1=some other articles}}
[[File:Star wars.jpg|thumb|300px|Remember Chris, [[autism]] will be with you--always.]]
[[File:ChrisJarJar.png|thumb|300px|Coincidince?, I think not!]]

'''''Star Wars''''' is a film and media franchise created by [[Wikipedia:George Lucas|George Lucas]]. It begun with 1977's ''Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope'', which was released to critical and commercial acclaim and is now considered to be one of the best movies of all-time. The popularity of the first installment lead to two more sequels, 1980's ''Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back'', and 1983's ''Episode VI: Return of the Jedi''. The franchise is now a cultural icon, and has spawned legions of parodies, and book and television companions, as well as a prequel trilogy, consisting of 1999's ''Episode I: The Phantom Menace'', 2002's ''Episode II: Attack of the Clones'', and 2005's ''Episode III: Revenge of the Sith'' (which weren't as well-received as the original trilogy) and a sequel trilogy, beginning with 2015's ''Episode VII: The Force Awakens''.

The series was also parodied in a three-part trilogy of episodes on ''[[Family Guy]]'', the likely reason as to how [[Chris]] knows about the franchise in the first place. He has stated on several occasions that he likes the franchise, and has [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped it off]] on certain occasions.

==References by Chris==
*[[Wikipedia:Luke Skywalker|Luke Skywalker]] competes in [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]] and fights [[Wikipedia:Darth Maul|Darth Maul]]. A "[[Wikipedia:Darth Vader|Vader]] [[Wikipedia:Droid (robot)|Droid]]", [[Wikipedia:Darth Vader|Anakin Skywalker]] and [[Wikipedia:R2-D2|R2-D2]] show up as well.
*In the [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris referred to [[Tobacky|cigarettes]] as "death sticks," a [[CWC-ism|retarded euphemism]] borrowed from one of the stupider scenes in [[Wikipedia:Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones|''Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones'']].
* In [[IRC]], Chris told trolls ''"I've enjoyed 5/6 Episodes, and Clone Wars; didn't see EP3 yet''<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref> and that Episode IV is his favourite<ref>[[IRC_(28_December_2008)]]</ref>
*He owns five Star Wars [[games]] and several [[toys]]
*In [[Julie Reveals Herself]], [[Max]] does a [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]] impression, which Chris responds to with one of his own, arguably even worse than his [[Donald Duck impersonation]].
*Chris [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloaded]] Yoda for [[Soul Calibur|''Soulcalibur 4'']].
*He used [[Thorg]]'s love of Star Wars as evidence of his nerdiness<ref>[[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada]]</ref>
*He told [[Clyde]] and [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] ''"You both want me to even Beg, you can go point at your own damn snouts and Oink like [[South Park|Eric Cartman]], and then Rape yourselves with your own Damn Darth Maul Dual LightSabre."''<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref>
*[[Wild Sonichu]]'s proposed backstory is an admitted Star Wars ripoff:
{{Quote|Wild Sonichu's story is of after he loses his father to some [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] poachers (possibly of [[Team Rocket]] and [[Giovanni]]), and years later, he hears the call of his father from afar, and he sets forward to find and rescue him. The ending being he finds his Scyther father evolved to a Scizor, and it draws into a plot similar to that in Star Wars between Luke and Vader.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails]]</ref>}}
*In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], Jason Kendrick Howell's throne appears to bear resemblance to the Emperor's throne in ''Return of the Jedi''.
*[[Wikipedia:Ahsoka Tano|Ahsoka]] is shown gossiping with a "[[JERKS|douchebag]]" in [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]].

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Megan Schroeder

2016-01-31T14:52:08Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Art by Megan */ Updating dead link(s)

{{DeadLinks}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Megan Schroeder
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 23 July 1986
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| None known
|-
|}
{{timelinetop
|size = 250
|start= 2005
|end = 2008
}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) was a [[Gal pal|gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship of his life.

Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, she cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against Megan, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Bob]], [[Barb]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]] about her scheming with [[Michael Snyder]] to have him banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Timeline==
[[File:Megan_Timeline_Prototype.png|thumb|A brief overview of the Megan Saga]]

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]], even claming to be asexual. She had a few eccentricities, which Chris was more than happy to copy and oblige, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games|games marketed to pre-teens]]. It only took [[Third date|a few games of cards]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. Megan, however, did not reciprocate this sentiment. It probably didn't help that Megan was getting Chris to buy things for her like a stereotypical wife nagging her husband:

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would obsess over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who was uncomfortable with these advances and only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality to Chris, in an effort to prevent his advances. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue to hound her. Even when Megan eventually resorted to claiming she had a boyfriend, Chris was not deterred.

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan, like Chris, enjoyed drawing cartoons, and this seems to have caught Chris's eye early in the game:

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the series of diary entries that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') soon made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (including Megagi) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on the "art" of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[anime]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes, which became large and shiny.

[[Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris [[Ego|critiqued]] some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character getting romantic with Chris, as well as being portrayed in a sexualized manner. Chris completely failed to comprehend why she was angry, but did [[retcon]] a couple of pages to tone them down. This did not placate Megan, however.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and the prizes for victory, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and the trip and use that to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost (even after extensive cheating), [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, and Megan didn't care. Even when Chris began whining to her and others about how Adam and everyone else except Chris had somehow cheated, Megan didn't care either way. This childish behavior eventually resulted in Megan losing her temper with Chris, reprimanding him for his selfishness and inappropriate behavior. Despite being hurt by her outburst, Chris continued to harass Megan in much the same way as before.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}

{{quote|And, by the way, is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]] <ref name="secondmessage">[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>}}

In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man crusade [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|pornographic and lewd]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering Megan]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], which prompted an outraged Chris to try to deny accusations of incestuous desires by revealing that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref><ref name="secondmessage"/>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture depicting her and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured. On 21 [[April 2008]] Megan wrote an email to Chris saying she was not comfortable being around him anymore,<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore]]</ref> thus putting an end to their friendship.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris brashly attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress '''the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her''', and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED]]</ref>

Evidence suggests that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> Chris himself has partially confirmed this account on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan+Schroeder Megan]: "When I started getting too close, [Megan] started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible homosexual."</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC merely euthanized a dying relationship rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Aftermath==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Despite Megan telling him she was no longer comfortable being in his presence, Chris was not willing to give up on her. On 11 [[2008#June|June 2008]], Chris sent an email to a person named Tyler Wane, asking Tyler to deliver Megan the birthday gift Chris bought for her (a German-English dictionary). Chris said he could not deliver her the gift himself due to being "forced into hiatus from the Pokemon League by that S.O.B. Mike". Tyler in response suggested to Chris to arrange meeting with Megan outside [[The GAMe PLACe]].<ref><[[Chris emails 2008#June]]</ref>

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]. Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan; alternatively it could have been a troll posing as her.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

=== Chris's version of events ===
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==The Blame Game==

=== Origins ===
[[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: JERK.]]
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and "some [[homos]]exual[s]" to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll".<ref>[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2#26 July]]</ref> His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to give him access to it. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another white female brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].

=== Chris Doxes Megan ===

A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

{{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|February 18, 2012]]}}

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.

[[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris' retarded attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]

On April 4, [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a July 20, 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref> Perhaps, if Chris ever starts the [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]] up again, we shall see Megan taking up the golden hair/helm of being Chris's foe.

=== Megagi La Scapegoat ===

Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

{{quote|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}

[[File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|thumb|left|Megan's fate as a Lego voodoo doll. Notice her goth style clothing.]]
On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Daniel Mimms about Megan's current whereabouts. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref><ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Yep, the Bitch has not changed a thing...]]</ref> Of course, the notion that Chris can perform [[Wikipedia:Sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]] to harm his enemies is [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|befitting]] with his [[Chris and reality|other delusions]]. Chris would continue to use this Lego minifigure of Megan as a totem to relieve his anger for her, and it appeared a month later "in detention" at [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|Lego Manchester High]].

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]

{{quote|
You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the "theft" of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.

{{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}

=== Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===

Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen.

{{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings are quite obviously traced from the same source.
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu (Namco)|Yoshimitsu]] drawing, made in [[1990s|1996]].<ref name="tekken forces">[https://web.archive.org/web/20091012030656/http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php Tekken Forces Fanart Gallery]</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|''[[Wikipedia:Powerpuff Girls|Powerpuff Girls]]''-style Yoshimitsu<ref name="tekken forces"/>
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|[[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Megan.
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|He keeps it upside down to torture her.
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|When he feels REALLY angry, he shakes it.
File:Meganfight 26.jpg|Chris victorious over the evil bitch.

</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Megan Saga|*]]

Megan Schroeder

2016-01-31T14:41:27Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Megagi La Scapegoat */

{{DeadLinks}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Megan Schroeder
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 23 July 1986
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| None known
|-
|}
{{timelinetop
|size = 250
|start= 2005
|end = 2008
}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) was a [[Gal pal|gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship of his life.

Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, she cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against Megan, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Bob]], [[Barb]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]] about her scheming with [[Michael Snyder]] to have him banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Timeline==
[[File:Megan_Timeline_Prototype.png|thumb|A brief overview of the Megan Saga]]

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]], even claming to be asexual. She had a few eccentricities, which Chris was more than happy to copy and oblige, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games|games marketed to pre-teens]]. It only took [[Third date|a few games of cards]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. Megan, however, did not reciprocate this sentiment. It probably didn't help that Megan was getting Chris to buy things for her like a stereotypical wife nagging her husband:

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would obsess over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who was uncomfortable with these advances and only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality to Chris, in an effort to prevent his advances. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue to hound her. Even when Megan eventually resorted to claiming she had a boyfriend, Chris was not deterred.

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan, like Chris, enjoyed drawing cartoons, and this seems to have caught Chris's eye early in the game:

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the series of diary entries that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') soon made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (including Megagi) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on the "art" of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[anime]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes, which became large and shiny.

[[Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris [[Ego|critiqued]] some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character getting romantic with Chris, as well as being portrayed in a sexualized manner. Chris completely failed to comprehend why she was angry, but did [[retcon]] a couple of pages to tone them down. This did not placate Megan, however.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and the prizes for victory, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and the trip and use that to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost (even after extensive cheating), [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, and Megan didn't care. Even when Chris began whining to her and others about how Adam and everyone else except Chris had somehow cheated, Megan didn't care either way. This childish behavior eventually resulted in Megan losing her temper with Chris, reprimanding him for his selfishness and inappropriate behavior. Despite being hurt by her outburst, Chris continued to harass Megan in much the same way as before.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}

{{quote|And, by the way, is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]] <ref name="secondmessage">[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>}}

In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man crusade [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|pornographic and lewd]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering Megan]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], which prompted an outraged Chris to try to deny accusations of incestuous desires by revealing that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref><ref name="secondmessage"/>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture depicting her and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured. On 21 [[April 2008]] Megan wrote an email to Chris saying she was not comfortable being around him anymore,<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore]]</ref> thus putting an end to their friendship.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris brashly attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress '''the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her''', and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED]]</ref>

Evidence suggests that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> Chris himself has partially confirmed this account on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan+Schroeder Megan]: "When I started getting too close, [Megan] started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible homosexual."</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC merely euthanized a dying relationship rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Aftermath==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Despite Megan telling him she was no longer comfortable being in his presence, Chris was not willing to give up on her. On 11 [[2008#June|June 2008]], Chris sent an email to a person named Tyler Wane, asking Tyler to deliver Megan the birthday gift Chris bought for her (a German-English dictionary). Chris said he could not deliver her the gift himself due to being "forced into hiatus from the Pokemon League by that S.O.B. Mike". Tyler in response suggested to Chris to arrange meeting with Megan outside [[The GAMe PLACe]].<ref><[[Chris emails 2008#June]]</ref>

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]. Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan; alternatively it could have been a troll posing as her.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

=== Chris's version of events ===
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==The Blame Game==

=== Origins ===
[[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: JERK.]]
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and "some [[homos]]exual[s]" to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll".<ref>[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2#26 July]]</ref> His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to give him access to it. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another white female brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].

=== Chris Doxes Megan ===

A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

{{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|February 18, 2012]]}}

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.

[[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris' retarded attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]

On April 4, [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a July 20, 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref> Perhaps, if Chris ever starts the [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]] up again, we shall see Megan taking up the golden hair/helm of being Chris's foe.

=== Megagi La Scapegoat ===

Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

{{quote|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}

[[File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|thumb|left|Megan's fate as a Lego voodoo doll. Notice her goth style clothing.]]
On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Daniel Mimms about Megan's current whereabouts. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref><ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Yep, the Bitch has not changed a thing...]]</ref> Of course, the notion that Chris can perform [[Wikipedia:Sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]] to harm his enemies is [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|befitting]] with his [[Chris and reality|other delusions]]. Chris would continue to use this Lego minifigure of Megan as a totem to relieve his anger for her, and it appeared a month later "in detention" at [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|Lego Manchester High]].

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]

{{quote|
You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the "theft" of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.

{{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}

=== Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===

Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen.

{{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings are quite obviously traced from the same source.
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu (Namco)|Yoshimitsu]]<ref><s>http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php#a</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|Yoshimitsu
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|[[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Megan.
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|He keeps it upside down to torture her.
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|When he feels REALLY angry, he shakes it.
File:Meganfight 26.jpg|Chris victorious over the evil bitch.

</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Megan Saga|*]]

Bob Chandler

2016-01-31T14:19:36Z

Acrylicpaint: /* Chris */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|The Internet Lumberjack]] Mr. C Bobby
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 [[September 2011]] (aged {{Age|1927|9|4|2011|9|6}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/4th [[Cherokee]]<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>)
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Patricia (c.1960-????) 
[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| Dr. David Alan Chandler 
Carol Suzanne Chandler 
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Grandchildren'''
| [[Savannah Chandler]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (father) Jean Holloman (mother)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}

'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]- 6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]];<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> his nickname, "The [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still widely viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]]. This is due to Bob being somewhat concerned with Chris's behavior, and the fact that he occasionally tried to encourage a modicum of responsibility in his life, bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising the selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb he at least made the effort.

Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. Whether in person or over the phone Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone.

Bob died of complications from heart failure on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref>

==Biography==
Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and was, according to his freshman Auburn University yearbook, raised in [[Wikipedia:Sylacauga, Alabama|Sylacauga, Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref> He was the first child of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM</ref>-27 December 1977<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6</ref>), an Insurance Agent from Alabama who was allegedly half Cherokee, and Jean Holloman (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M</ref>-10 May 1945<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8</ref>), a Housewife from Texas.<ref>http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y47mWzzz1qblvg5o1_1280.jpg (Mirror: [[:File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg]])</ref> Bob mentioned having a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref>
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|right|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]

Bob has said that he was "interested in the world" around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign stamps as a child in the [[1930s]]. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> It is not clear how this collection fared in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]], but it was apparently not a total loss, as Chris offered to sell some of the albums to [[Catherine]]'s cousin Al in late 2014.

===Service and education===

A 1942 yearbook from Sylacauga High School in Bob's hometown of Sylacauga, Alabama (which can be seen on Classmates.com) lists a "Bobby Chandler" as a member of the freshman class and as a member of the school's glee club, suggesting that he graduated from this school in the spring of 1945 before matriculating at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama as an Aeronautical Engineering major during the fall of this year.

Bob was drafted out of College as a special draftee who apparently had knowledge that the Army desired (Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook [http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/4124/rec/14]) in 1946 after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. He was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal due to the dates of his service and his service number was 44107856 [http://aad.archives.gov/aad/record-detail.jsp?dt=893&mtch=11&tf=F&q=Chandler&bc=&sort=24996%20desc&rpp=10&pg=4&rid=8565331&rlst=5136538,4652469,8564216,1000879,987835,4549799,991002,8565331,5188385,8565346]. When he got out in 1948 he studied Pre-Engineering for two years at Jacksonville State Teachers College in Jacksonville, Alabama. He then returned to Auburn University where he studied Electrical Engineering and graduated in 1952 (page 269 of the 1952 yearbook) [http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/16173/rec/20] [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />
[[File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|thumb|left|Bob served in Korea, and, thankfully for Chris, who believes that he was a sperm carried in one of his father's testicles during that time, he left before the Korean War broke out.]]

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college (Jacksonville) after leaving the military. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn a type of engineering degree, although it's never specified (mechanical, electrical etc.).<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref> While he was at Auburn, he was a member of Phi Mu Alpha, a social frat dedicated to men who are interested in music.

===Career===
Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] as an engineer for 40 years. There he designed a variety of electrical subsystems. He eventually went to work for General Electric in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon".<ref name="Barbara" />

Examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

When exactly Bob did retire is not known. During the 1980s the standard age of retirement for men in America was 65, with many choosing to retire even sooner.<ref>[https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/publication/growing-older-america-health-and-retirement-study/chapter-2-work-and-retirement Growing Older in America: The Health and Retirement Study]</ref> Bob was born in 1927, meaning that he was most likely retired by the late 80s or early 90s. The ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' article about Chris's name change clearly says that Bob was retired at the time the article was publised (29 December [[1993]]).<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref>

Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.<ref name="About" />

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob Chandler learning how to cut that Internet down ]]

Politically, Bob was identified as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/> With that being said, in the time leading to the [[wikipedia:Virginia gubernatorial election, 2009|Virginia gubernatorial election of 2009]], Bob had misgivings about [[wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]], the Republican candidate and eventual winner of the election. Bob and Chris considered the option of writing in Snoopy rather than voting for any of the candidates listed on the ballot.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything]]</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> However, he rather damningly failed to question why Julie spoke perfect English with an American accent.

===Later life and poor health===

Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to [[Trolls|total strangers]] on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob had had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple bypass operations took place in August, 1980. He wore an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at [[Burger King]] daily.<ref>[[Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris]]</ref><ref>[[Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)]]</ref>

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter|tweeted]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose [[Ego|when Chris was inclined to complain about it online]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies,<ref>[http://www.heart.org/idc/groups/heart-public/@wcm/@hcm/documents/downloadable/ucm_300315.pdf American Heart Association PDF "What Is Heart Failure?"]</ref> but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a very serious situation.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. His silence on the subject of his father was probably because of [[Naive|genuine ignorance]] of the seriousness of his father's condition.

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."<ref>[[:File:Bobbetter.jpg]]</ref> Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well." Chris was, at least, half right.

A breakdown of Bob's final months reads as follows.

On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer of some description.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 23 April 2011, in an e-mail to Jackie, Chris revealed that Bob had received surgery for colon cancer.<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_24]]</ref>

On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and, like Barb, vehemently disapproved of them.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now deeply entrenched in his [[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirlish ways]], [[Response to ADF|mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in]], and was suffering from [[Chris and English|"feet-bloatings"]].

In early September, 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. [[Rocky Shoemaker call|It was discovered later]] that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was [[14 Branchland Court|covered in bug bites]] and he posed a contamination risk.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died at age 84.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".<ref name="BobObit" />

==Cause of Death==
Despite the fairly clear-cut nature of the lumberjack's passing, Chris has since declared that the [[trolls]] were responsible for Bob's death. In an [[Misc_E-mails|email]] leaked on 22 [[March 2014]], Chris claims that the stress of his trolling led to Bob's heart attack. This keeps in the trend Chris has developed of blaming any and all misfortunes (even those faced by everyone, like burying a family member) on trolls.
{{quote|AND the total [[stress]] KILLED my Father Prematurely; if not for those Trolls, he would still be alive, and would have likely lived beyond 2015.|Chris.}}
Even for Chris this is appalling behavior; using the '''death of his own father''' as a vehicle to play the victim and attempt to stave off trolls. While it's not uncommon for those who have lost loved ones to blame their deaths on external causes (however impossible or insane, as in this case) Chris's actions are motivated purely out of selfishness and egotism - business as usual.

==Obituary==
Both [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:

* Text going into [[autism|unusual detail]] about what Bob did at General Electric.
* The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] counsels Chris from.
* A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to [[Chris and money|donate money to Barbara and Chris]].

===Original text===
[[Image:Rip internet lumberack by vekke.png|thumb|May you always watch over our sweet autist.]]
:''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.''

:''He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.''

:''He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.''

:''He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.''

:''Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.''

:''A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.''

:''Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler. <ref name="BobObit" />

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia.<ref name="BobObit" /> She's most likely the mother of his two other children, [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], with both of whom he was out of contact in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Chris did not know he had a niece, via David, named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>, and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more strained. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and last they heard she was working for the government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops," <ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though there isn't any proof that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|Bob and a younger Christian. Note Chris's "Family Bonding" shirt.]]

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography such as [[Julie|Europe]] and [[PandaHalo|Australia]], but he thought (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[television]], and only can associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's racist joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, [[Chris and health#hygiene|rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks]] (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time[sic], and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. The antagonism to which Chris refers is likelier to be Bob attempting to constructively criticize Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.
[[File:Bob drawing Nov. '15.jpg|thumb|200px|left|The only known drawing of Bob by Chris, released in [[November 2015]].]]
An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, and seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris would still run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the success that he has earned from his own Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seemed to be the origin of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that (not to mention what accomplishments he was referring to), or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.<ref name="Prank"><s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</s> (dead link as of Jul 2014)</ref>

He seemed never to get past the notion that Chris could and had achieved things, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiralling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref> Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris doesn't take the presence or others for granted.

In [[December 2012]], Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the [[WTJU Marathon|1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon]], in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris publically honored his father's memory since the latter's passing in [[September 2011]].

Bob lives on his son's memory. Chris noted the occasion of his father's passing by attaching angel wings to the [[Lego]] minifigure representing him,<ref>Seen at 4:24 in [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]].</ref> and often visits Bob in his [[dreams]].<ref>[[March 2012 Facebook Posts#Still Feeling Lonely II|March 2012 Facebook Posts]]</ref><ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing|OkCupid Answers]]</ref>

==In memoriam==
[[File:Chandler_Niche.jpg|thumb|left|Bob's final resting place.]]

Bob is often seen as a gregarious, hard-working man ([[Ruckersville|all things considered]]). Trying ([[Destruction Of Chris's House|albeit without]] [[26 December 2014|success]]) to refine Chris into someone that could at least pass for a responsible adult, giving him mock job interviews and [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|chaperoning him on dates]], where he proved (unsurprisingly) more adept at charming the date than Chris.

However, we also have Bob to thank for some of his son's more [[Homos|backwards]] [[Niggos|worldviews]]. He was also supposedly an [[Cole|abusive stepfather]]; he certainly managed to alienate his other children enough that his daughter didn't attend his funeral, or keep in touch while he was alive. Much like his son, little of what he said or believed had any connection to [[reality]], and he helped Chris to construct [[Matthew Noble call|bizarre]] [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]] to justify [[Chris and the law|trespassing and the like]], among [[Ego|other things]]. He, like Barbara, enabled Chris's parasitic dependence on them, general immaturity and irresponsibility, and his myriad of other flaws. He never made any serious effort to improve his preening, arrogant son, even when he caught him [[Bob walks in|masturbating]] in the kitchen.

Ultimately, few remember Bob as a positive influence on Chris, although he was of course a little more preferable to his wife.

==Audio and video appearances==

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).

* [[1990]]: Bob appeared as the DJ to the [[WTJU Marathon]].
* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26-0:36 in the news report of the [[Chris in the media|Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the house tour, (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn Internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also is audible at the end of the call.
* [[Prank calls]]: Bob answered several of these.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Bob1946Auburn.jpg|Bob's Auburn freshman yearbook photo, taken for the 1946 yearbook.
File:BobJax1950.PNG|Bob's 1950 Jacksonville State Teachers College yearbook photo.
File:Bobauburn1951.PNG|Bob's 1951 Auburn yearbook photo.
File:Bobauburn1952.PNG|Bob's Auburn senior yearbook photo.
Image:Thehell.jpg|
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2010.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|Bob used to enjoy gardening back in the day.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|
Image:Bob_80th.jpg
File:Bob2.png|Last known photo.
File:BobAmiibo.jpg|[[Amiibo]] Bob, for sale on [[Etsy]]. Oh yes.
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cyMoams7EMw}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2011
| Maker = TheSevenRiders
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute to Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajEN2zrY8cQ}}
| Stardate = 11 September 2011
| Maker = 8x13Wolf
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = RIP Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tyoboaDCJ0s}}
| Stardate = 29 September 2011
| Maker = furnacewoodsband
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sources==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

==External Links==
* [http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=80567090 Bob Chandler at Find a Grave]

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]