CWCki - User contributions [en]

May 2012

2012-05-15T23:37:00Z

AeleeFall: /* Events */

[[File:Chris FB Profile PIc (May 8th,2012).png|thumb|Chris in May 2012 (See also: [[wikipedia:Norman Bates |Norman Bates]], who also became his [[Barb|mother]]).]]

'''May [[2012]]''' kicked off with [[Chris]]' tentative return to the internet amidst more of his egotistical shenanigans. These were primarily centered around his apparent victory over the trolls. "Tricking" them by announcing the return of the [[attraction sign]] at the mall and then figuring he would rather stay home playing [[vidya]], has fueled the fires of his ego to the point of no return. It is worth noting that this month may be one of Chris' last before he is incarcerated following the events of [[28 October 2011]] if he is found guilty.

==Events==
[[Image:133627232947.png|thumb|left|Drawing of [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[Image:=3.jpg|thumb|right| Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Christian Weston Chandler: master of proportions. Note: [[Julay|People are watching them.]]]]
* 1 May: Chris posts another [[Facebook]] note, still gloating over him tricking the trolls over him being in the mall and reaffirms that he indeed lost his virginity, with an even stronger hint that it was a prostitute.
* 3 May: Chris changes his voicemail greetings, probably because the previous one sounded too [[Autistic |threatening]].
* 5 May: Chris posts a Facebook note in which he calls on the trolls to leave [[Anna]] alone and also says that he does see his mother in her. Additionally, an old drawing of Wallflower is released.
* 6 May: A previously unseen drawing of Chris and [[Jackie]] having sex in a pool is released and Chris changes his voicemail message once again.
[[File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png|thumb| Chris claiming to have personal info of [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]]]]
* 8 May: Chris changes his Facebook profile picture.
* 9 May: A misplaced call between Chris and Kacey is released.
* 12 May: Chris writes a new note on Facebook about Mimms in an attempt to get people to annoy him, he then deletes the note minutes later.
* 13 May: Eight old photographs of Chris are released, five from 11 [[November 2010]] and three from 1 March 2011. Notable features include the last known wearing of a [[Medallion]], Chris's nasty [[hair]] and a proto-[[Tomgirl]] look.
{{collapsible
|The May 2012 Pictures
|<center>
<gallery>
File:133696094632.jpg|November picture 1
File:FZvAO.jpg|November picture 2
File:ZpkM1.jpg|November picture 3
File:ADlEp.jpg|November picture 4
File:VzDUm.jpg|November picture 5
File:RoD3b.jpg|March picture 1, featuring tomgirl chris.
File:ZyK7a.jpg|March picture 2
File:IiL3P.jpg|March picture 3
</gallery>
</center>
}}
{{Timeline}}

May 2012

2012-05-15T23:36:29Z

AeleeFall: /* Events */

[[File:Chris FB Profile PIc (May 8th,2012).png|thumb|Chris in May 2012 (See also: [[wikipedia:Norman Bates |Norman Bates]], who also became his [[Barb|mother]]).]]

'''May [[2012]]''' kicked off with [[Chris]]' tentative return to the internet amidst more of his egotistical shenanigans. These were primarily centered around his apparent victory over the trolls. "Tricking" them by announcing the return of the [[attraction sign]] at the mall and then figuring he would rather stay home playing [[vidya]], has fueled the fires of his ego to the point of no return. It is worth noting that this month may be one of Chris' last before he is incarcerated following the events of [[28 October 2011]] if he is found guilty.

==Events==
[[Image:133627232947.png|thumb|left|Drawing of [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[Image:=3.jpg|thumb|right| Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Christian Weston Chandler: master of proportions. Note: [[Julay|People are watching them.]]]]
* 1 May: Chris posts another [[Facebook]] note, still gloating over him tricking the trolls over him being in the mall and reaffirms that he indeed lost his virginity, with an even stronger hint that it was a prostitute.
* 3 May: Chris changes his voicemail greetings, probably because the previous one sounded too [[Autistic |threatening]].
* 5 May: Chris posts a Facebook note in which he calls on the trolls to leave [[Anna]] alone and also says that he does see his mother in her. Additionally, an old drawing of Wallflower is released.
* 6 May: A previously unseen drawing of Chris and [[Jackie]] having sex in a pool is released and Chris changes his voicemail message once again.
[[File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png|thumb| Chris claiming to have personal info of [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]]]]
* 8 May: Chris changes his Facebook profile picture.
* 9 May; A misplaced call between Chris and Kacey is released.
* 12 May: Chris writes a new note on Facebook about Mimms in an attempt to get people to annoy him, he then deletes the note minutes later.
* 13 May: Eight old photographs of Chris are released, five from 11 [[November 2010]] and three from 1 March 2011. Notable features include the last known wearing of a [[Medallion]], Chris's nasty [[hair]] and a proto-[[Tomgirl]] look.
{{collapsible
|The May 2012 Pictures
|<center>
<gallery>
File:133696094632.jpg|November picture 1
File:FZvAO.jpg|November picture 2
File:ZpkM1.jpg|November picture 3
File:ADlEp.jpg|November picture 4
File:VzDUm.jpg|November picture 5
File:RoD3b.jpg|March picture 1, featuring tomgirl chris.
File:ZyK7a.jpg|March picture 2
File:IiL3P.jpg|March picture 3
</gallery>
</center>
}}
{{Timeline}}

Who's Your Brony?

2012-03-08T02:33:29Z

AeleeFall: /* Transcript */

{{Honest}}

'''Who's Your Brony?''' is a pair of videos ('''gvfioeqnguvfieqrav (1)''' and '''hcyrejetuikyfdfmynbgr (2)''') leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris has sex with the [[Jackie]] sex doll while saying "Who's your [[My Little Pony|Brony]]?" The video is similar in concept to [[For Julie's Eyes Only]], but is notably less horrifying because Chris stays clothed. He then proceeds to display his "[[cutie mark]]".

==Videos==
===Sexy time===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Who's Your Brony? 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p23-_rWJ2Ag}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

Okie-dokie. For you, Jackie-pie, I show you my [[cutie mark]] on my better... mini-skirt.

''[Turns around, although nothing is visible because Chris' fat ass is too close to the camera.]''

There's a guitar and a TG for Tom Girl, and a puzzle piece for autism! I has these, I had these put here for weeks! So I pretty much was one step ahead of ya there.

And now, pretend sex.

''[Chris proceeds to hump the blowup doll in what would be considered a "scissoring" position.]''

Yeah. Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Whooo's your brony? Yeah, Jackie! Who's your brony? C'mon, you take it from your. C'mon, Jackie Pie, you take it from your Apple Chris!

All day long, ''(mumbling)''

''[Chris switches to doggy-style position.]''

Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Who's your brony, Jackie-Pie?

Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Who's your brony? I'm your brony, Jackie-Pie! I'll be your brony all day long!

''[Chris switches positions. He is now standing and humping the doll around his waist.]''

Who's your brony? I'm your brony,

Who's your brony? I'm your brony, and you know it

''[Chris switches positions. He is now siting and humping the doll in his lap.]''

Who's your brony, Jackie-Pie? Jackie-Pie, Jackie-Pie. Ah, Jack-Jackie-Pie.

''[Chris fakes an orgasm.]''

Uh, Yeah, Yeah.

'''UUUUGH!''' Delicious!

===Tat Ass===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Who's Your Brony? 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|N1r6lyA5kaI}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

Woopsie-doodles! I forgot to do the other favor.

[''Chris proceeds to shove his ass in the direction of the camera and lift his skirt''.]

Hope that's good enough! Thank you very much, I love you, Jackie pie!

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Who's Your Brony?

2012-03-04T22:02:42Z

AeleeFall: /* Transcript */

{{Honest}}

'''Who's Your Brony?''' is a pair of videos ('''gvfioeqnguvfieqrav (1)''' and '''hcyrejetuikyfdfmynbgr (2)''') leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris has sex with the [[Jackie]] sex doll while saying "Who's your [[My Little Pony|Brony]]?" The video is similar in concept to [[For Julie's Eyes Only]], but is notably less horrifying because Chris stays clothed. He then proceeds to display his "[[cutie mark]]".

==Videos==
===Sexy time===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Who's Your Brony? 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p23-_rWJ2Ag}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

Okie-dokie. For you, Jackie-pie, I show you my [[cutie mark]] on my better... mini-skirt.

''[Turns around, although nothing is visible because Chris' fat ass is too close to the camera.]''

There's a guitar and a TG for Tom Girl, and a puzzle piece for autism! I has these, I had these put here for weeks! So I pretty much was one step ahead of ya there.

And now, pretend sex.

''[Chris proceeds to hump the blowup doll in what would be considered a "scissoring" position.]''

Yeah. Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Whooo's your brony? Yeah, Jackie! Who's your brony? C'mon, Jackie, take it from your. C'mon, Jackie Pie, you take it from your Apple Chris!

All day long, ''(mumbling)''

''[Chris switches to doggy-style position.]''

Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Who's your brony, Jackie-Pie?

Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Who's your brony? I'm your brony, Jackie-Pie! I'll be your brony all day long!

''[Chris switches positions. He is now standing and humping the doll around his waist.]''

Who's your brony? I'm your brony,

Who's your brony? I'm your brony, and you know it

''[Chris switches positions. He is now siting and humping the doll in his lap.]''

Who's your brony, Jackie-Pie? Jackie-Pie, Jackie-Pie. Ah, Jack-Jackie-Pie.

''[Chris fakes an orgasm.]''

Uh, Yeah, Yeah.

'''UUUUGH!''' Delicious!

===Tat Ass===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Who's Your Brony? 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|N1r6lyA5kaI}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

Woopsie-doodles! I forgot to do the other favor.

[''Chris proceeds to shove his ass in the direction of the camera and lift his skirt''.]

Hope that's good enough! Thank you very much, I love you, Jackie pie!

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Teenage Dream

2012-02-28T21:35:08Z

AeleeFall: /* Transcript */

{{Honest}}

'''Teenage Dream''' is an audio file of Chris singing [[Wikipedia:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]]'s song "[[Wikipedia:Teenage Dream (Katy Perry song)|Teenage Dream]]", leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. In typical Chris style, he sings tunelessly over the original song (rather than finding a karaoke version).

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Teenage Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRaX8cMkjjc}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Music}}
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
You think I'm pretty 
Without any [[Tomgirl|make-up]] on 
You think I'm [[Random-access humor|funny]] 
When I tell the [[Punchy Sonichu|puch]] line wrong 
I know you get me 
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me 
[[Lie|I was alright]] 
But things were kinda [[Obesity|heavy]] 
You brought me to life 
Now every February 
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight 
No regrets, just [[Chris and Sex|love]] 
We can dance until we [[Chris and Death|die]] 
You and I 
We'll be young forever

You make me 
Feel like 
I'm living a Teenage Dream 
The way you [[April 16 Fetish Vids|turn me on]] 
[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]] 
Let's [[Sonichu's Edge|run away]] 
And don't ever look back 
Don't ever look back

My [[Heart level|heart]] stops 
When you look at me 
Just one touch 
Now baby I believe 
[[Chris and Reality|This is real]] 
So take a chance 
And don't ever look back 
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali 
And got drunk on the beach 
Got a motel and 
Built a floor out of sheets 
I finally found you 
My missing [[Autism|puzzle piece]] 
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight 
No regrets, just love 
We can dance until we die 
You and I 
We'll be young forever

You make me 
Feel like 
I'm living a Teenage Dream 
The way you turn me on 
[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]] 
Let's run away 
And don't ever look back 
Don't ever-(Video Cuts off)

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Rainbow

2012-01-08T17:24:57Z

AeleeFall:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Quality}}
[[Image:0Rainbow1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Random-access_humor|Skadoosh]]]]
[[Image:Supernumerary_rainbow_03_contrast.jpg‎ |thumb|right|For comparaison and your viewing pleasure, a TRUE and HONEST rainbow.Compare with Chris and see how the colors are messed up.]]
A '''rainbow''' is an optical and meteorological phenomenon that causes a spectrum of light to appear in the sky when the Sun shines on droplets of moisture in the Earth's atmosphere. They take the form of a multicolored arc, with red on the outer part of the arch and violet on the inner section of the arch. In Chris's artwork, he consistently switches the positions of blue and green. This is possibly due to some degree of color-blindness, but more likely it's just because Chris is a fucking idiot or too lazy to care.

In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' canon]] and various other works, rainbows are a recurring theme. For example, a rainbow was responsible for transforming [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] into their present forms. It was later revealed that the same Rainbow also spawned eggs, which eventually matured to become the [[Chaotic Combo]] and [[Silvana]].

In real life, there's a rainbow etched into [[Amnyfest Ring|Chris's high school ring]].

==Chaotic Rainbow==
[[Image:0Rainbow2.jpg|thumb|left|Feels Good Man]]
The rainbow effect was the result of an accidental collision of a male [[Pikachu]] with [[Sonic]] in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. As Sonic was using the power of the Chaos Emeralds at the time, their energies somehow caused the Pikachu to mutate into a being similar in appearance to Sonic. This energy also arced across the sky, striking a female Raichu some fifteen miles away, and transforming her into a similar hedgehog-like creature.

Independently, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] realized that they had become the genesis of a new [[Pokémon]] species. Eventually, [[Black Sonichu]] was cloned from a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], and the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] would bestow three humans the ability to transform into Sonichus and Rosechus at will, but these were only copies of the originals.

However, Sonichu would soon discover other Sonichus and Rosechus created by the Rainbow.

==The Chaotic Combo==
[[Image:RainbowEggs.jpg|thumb|right|TRUE and HONEST Chaos Rainbows ''shit eggs''.]]

In [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris revealed that the Rainbow had also spit out five eggs, which landed in various locations around the world. From within these eggs emerged larval forms of Sonichu and Rosechu, called [[Sonee and Rosey|"Sonee" and "Rosey"]]. These five eventually evolved into variants of Sonichu and Rosechu, each possessing unique abilities and characteristics in addition to the powers of Sonic and Pikachu.

In addition to the eggs, Chris established that "mysterious beams of light also shone from the rainbow", but declined to elaborate; this might be Chris's way of giving himself an out for adding more Sonichus and Rosechus, like Silvana.

==Inconsistencies==

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Chris established that [[Sonichu]] was sixteen years old, and [[Rosechu]] was fifteen. Presumably, this refers to their age upon the day of their transformation, and so they spent the bulk of their lives as a Pikachu and Raichu. [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] has since established that the couple turned 19 and 20 respectively as of early [[2008]] in accordance with the "Earth Time" of the comics.

The [[Chaotic Combo]] were spawned from the Rainbow as eggs, meaning that they would have been born while Sonichu was 16. And yet, [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] depicts them celebrating their nineteenth birthday a few months after Rosechu's nineteenth birthday. Compounding this, Black Sonichu celebrated his twentieth birthday shortly afterward, making him the same age as Sonichu, despite being cloned when Sonichu was sixteen years old.

Strangely, when [[Blake|Black Sonichu]] questions the notion of celebrating a birthday for a clone, he points out that he was "not properly born of a [[Rosechu]]". The fact is, none of the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon was born naturally, as they were all shat out of a big dumb rainbow.

===Additional retcons===
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|right|Chris [[Sub-Episode 2|while standing on a rainbow background]], declaring that his [[Love Quest]] [[Lie|is finally over]]. No [[Homos|gay]] overtones here.]]
Chris since revised the story of the rainbow ''again'' to reveal that a sixth egg had been launched from the Rainbow, only to somehow wind up on the Earth's moon. There, the newborn Rosey was taken under the wing of [[Count Graduon]], who named her "[[Silvana]]" and trained her in the ways of evil. To better equip her for the cause of sexual villainy, Graduon gave Silvana the power to shape-shift, as well as male genitalia, to better fool horny enemy Rosechus. Like the other egg-born Sonichus and Rosechus, Silvana's age is established to be 19, even though Count Graduon wasn't unleashed until Sonichu was 16 and discovered the Anchuent Prophecy.

To make matters even more confusing, Chris has introduced several other Sonichus and Rosechus throughout the series, including [[Darkbind Sonichu]], [[DJ Jamsta|Jamsta]] Sonichu, [[Lolisa Rosechu]], [[Zapina]] Rosechu, and [[Simonla Rosechu]]. There was no initially explanation provided for when or how these other Sonichus and Rosechus were created throughout their appearances in the comic.

Christian revealed his most current patchwork re-telling of the Rainbow's ''gift'' in his own [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu&oldid=1763 Sonichu] article at the CWCipedia. Chris, not to be outdone by prior work, has pushed his myth [[Fail|''way past'' the third dimension]]:
{{quote|From the Rainbow, EGGS were emitted throughout Earth, Space and Time. ALL of The eggs were all time-traveled back to the day of February 2, 1989 into various locations. There were countless eggs in addition to the 5 that would hatch into the Chaotic Combo Electric-Hedgehogs.|[[Christian_Weston_Chandler|Chris]], never too sharp with [[Chris humps his PS3|math]]... so let's just say it's ''more than you can count, mister!''}}

There is a innumerable amount of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon among us. Be afraid.

===TL;DR===
In order to draw [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|porn of his characters]], Chris gave the rainbow time-travelling powers so that his recolors won't be underage.

==Other uses of rainbows==
[[Image:RainbowOverArk.jpg|thumb|right|Chris offers a "rainbow of promise" to his readers, rightfully comparing the travesty of his nude artwork with that of God's brutal punishment of mankind.]]
It should be noted that the various Sonichus and Rosechus represent every color of the rainbow, although this may be a coincidence, as there's so damn many of them that Chris has no choice but to use every possible color to tell them apart.

In [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Flame the Sunbird]] lives on Rainbow Island.

Following [[Trolls|fan]] backlash against the hardcore sex scene depicted in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris removed or censored the pages containing genitalia from the site, and posted a ridiculous apology:

{{quote|**After Serious Consideration and numerous complaints, I HAVE REMOVED the explicit sexual pages from EPISODE 17 of Comic #8,
And as GOD Promised NEVER again to Flood the earth with a Rainbow over Noah's Ark, I cast My Rainbow of Promise to NEVER AGAIN
Draw or Upload any Further Images between Sonichus and Rosechus in EPISODE 18 of [[Sonichu 8|Comic #8]], as well as ALL Future Comics,
that depict explicit sexuality.| Chris, correctly comparing his pornographic artwork to the horrors of global disaster <ref>[http://sonichu-roschu.blogspot.com/2008/09/episode-17-update.html The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog: Episode 17 Update]</ref>}}

The message was accompanied by Edward Hicks's painting [[wikipedia:File:Noahs Ark.jpg|"Noah's Ark"]]. True to his style, Chris opted to use a modified version (though this time, it is clearly not one that he made).

Despite Chris's assurances, he drew a love scene between Black Sonichu and Silvana Rosechu in the second half of the same issue, and later restored all of the deleted artwork in the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], along with promises of even more hideous furry porn to come.

Chris also offered a "rainbow of promise" in an e-mail to [[Megan]]:

{{quote|I understand the possible irriation from being touched, but I now realize what may have set off the burst of anger. It was because of my immature behavior (with jealousy) over the winner of that contest, wasn't it? I wanted you to know that I have honestly given up on that erronious behavior. I do apologize for having expressed that anger, and I offer a peaceful rainbow as my promise to not get jealous and express such anger again.|Chris, blowing out his ass<ref>"I now understand" 08 August 2007, 3:46 p.m. [[Chris_E-mails_2007]]</ref>}}

Chris also mentions rainbows in "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]", the third track on his album ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''.

<blockquote><poem style="font-style: italic;">I'm lookin' at you all and I see a rainbow, come on
You think I'm different in every way, come on
All of the times that I've earned [[honor roll]]!</poem></blockquote>

This is probably how [[autism]] was explained to him. Either that or he thinks everyone is [[gay]].

==Possible interpretation of Chris's use of rainbows==
[[Image:Pride_flag.jpg|center|top]] 
<center>
[[Homo|'''He's gay!'''
 ]]
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chaotic Combo]]
*[[Chaos Emeralds]]
*[[Homos]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://gay4sonichu.yuku.com/ Gay4Sonichu]
*[http://psmission.webs.com/ Pride Sonichu Mission]
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Plot Devices]]

Rainbow

2012-01-08T17:24:08Z

AeleeFall:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Quality}}
[[Image:0Rainbow1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Random-access_humor|Skadoosh]]]]
[[Image:Supernumerary_rainbow_03_contrast.jpg‎ |thumb|right|For comparaison and your viewing pleasure,a TRUE and HONEST rainbow.Compare with Chris and see how the colors are messed up.]]
A '''rainbow''' is an optical and meteorological phenomenon that causes a spectrum of light to appear in the sky when the Sun shines on droplets of moisture in the Earth's atmosphere. They take the form of a multicolored arc, with red on the outer part of the arch and violet on the inner section of the arch. In Chris's artwork, he consistently switches the positions of blue and green. This is possibly due to some degree of color-blindness, but more likely it's just because Chris is a fucking idiot or too lazy to care.

In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' canon]] and various other works, rainbows are a recurring theme. For example, a rainbow was responsible for transforming [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] into their present forms. It was later revealed that the same Rainbow also spawned eggs, which eventually matured to become the [[Chaotic Combo]] and [[Silvana]].

In real life, there's a rainbow etched into [[Amnyfest Ring|Chris's high school ring]].

==Chaotic Rainbow==
[[Image:0Rainbow2.jpg|thumb|left|Feels Good Man]]
The rainbow effect was the result of an accidental collision of a male [[Pikachu]] with [[Sonic]] in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. As Sonic was using the power of the Chaos Emeralds at the time, their energies somehow caused the Pikachu to mutate into a being similar in appearance to Sonic. This energy also arced across the sky, striking a female Raichu some fifteen miles away, and transforming her into a similar hedgehog-like creature.

Independently, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] realized that they had become the genesis of a new [[Pokémon]] species. Eventually, [[Black Sonichu]] was cloned from a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], and the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] would bestow three humans the ability to transform into Sonichus and Rosechus at will, but these were only copies of the originals.

However, Sonichu would soon discover other Sonichus and Rosechus created by the Rainbow.

==The Chaotic Combo==
[[Image:RainbowEggs.jpg|thumb|right|TRUE and HONEST Chaos Rainbows ''shit eggs''.]]

In [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris revealed that the Rainbow had also spit out five eggs, which landed in various locations around the world. From within these eggs emerged larval forms of Sonichu and Rosechu, called [[Sonee and Rosey|"Sonee" and "Rosey"]]. These five eventually evolved into variants of Sonichu and Rosechu, each possessing unique abilities and characteristics in addition to the powers of Sonic and Pikachu.

In addition to the eggs, Chris established that "mysterious beams of light also shone from the rainbow", but declined to elaborate; this might be Chris's way of giving himself an out for adding more Sonichus and Rosechus, like Silvana.

==Inconsistencies==

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Chris established that [[Sonichu]] was sixteen years old, and [[Rosechu]] was fifteen. Presumably, this refers to their age upon the day of their transformation, and so they spent the bulk of their lives as a Pikachu and Raichu. [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] has since established that the couple turned 19 and 20 respectively as of early [[2008]] in accordance with the "Earth Time" of the comics.

The [[Chaotic Combo]] were spawned from the Rainbow as eggs, meaning that they would have been born while Sonichu was 16. And yet, [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] depicts them celebrating their nineteenth birthday a few months after Rosechu's nineteenth birthday. Compounding this, Black Sonichu celebrated his twentieth birthday shortly afterward, making him the same age as Sonichu, despite being cloned when Sonichu was sixteen years old.

Strangely, when [[Blake|Black Sonichu]] questions the notion of celebrating a birthday for a clone, he points out that he was "not properly born of a [[Rosechu]]". The fact is, none of the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon was born naturally, as they were all shat out of a big dumb rainbow.

===Additional retcons===
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|right|Chris [[Sub-Episode 2|while standing on a rainbow background]], declaring that his [[Love Quest]] [[Lie|is finally over]]. No [[Homos|gay]] overtones here.]]
Chris since revised the story of the rainbow ''again'' to reveal that a sixth egg had been launched from the Rainbow, only to somehow wind up on the Earth's moon. There, the newborn Rosey was taken under the wing of [[Count Graduon]], who named her "[[Silvana]]" and trained her in the ways of evil. To better equip her for the cause of sexual villainy, Graduon gave Silvana the power to shape-shift, as well as male genitalia, to better fool horny enemy Rosechus. Like the other egg-born Sonichus and Rosechus, Silvana's age is established to be 19, even though Count Graduon wasn't unleashed until Sonichu was 16 and discovered the Anchuent Prophecy.

To make matters even more confusing, Chris has introduced several other Sonichus and Rosechus throughout the series, including [[Darkbind Sonichu]], [[DJ Jamsta|Jamsta]] Sonichu, [[Lolisa Rosechu]], [[Zapina]] Rosechu, and [[Simonla Rosechu]]. There was no initially explanation provided for when or how these other Sonichus and Rosechus were created throughout their appearances in the comic.

Christian revealed his most current patchwork re-telling of the Rainbow's ''gift'' in his own [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu&oldid=1763 Sonichu] article at the CWCipedia. Chris, not to be outdone by prior work, has pushed his myth [[Fail|''way past'' the third dimension]]:
{{quote|From the Rainbow, EGGS were emitted throughout Earth, Space and Time. ALL of The eggs were all time-traveled back to the day of February 2, 1989 into various locations. There were countless eggs in addition to the 5 that would hatch into the Chaotic Combo Electric-Hedgehogs.|[[Christian_Weston_Chandler|Chris]], never too sharp with [[Chris humps his PS3|math]]... so let's just say it's ''more than you can count, mister!''}}

There is a innumerable amount of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon among us. Be afraid.

===TL;DR===
In order to draw [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|porn of his characters]], Chris gave the rainbow time-travelling powers so that his recolors won't be underage.

==Other uses of rainbows==
[[Image:RainbowOverArk.jpg|thumb|right|Chris offers a "rainbow of promise" to his readers, rightfully comparing the travesty of his nude artwork with that of God's brutal punishment of mankind.]]
It should be noted that the various Sonichus and Rosechus represent every color of the rainbow, although this may be a coincidence, as there's so damn many of them that Chris has no choice but to use every possible color to tell them apart.

In [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Flame the Sunbird]] lives on Rainbow Island.

Following [[Trolls|fan]] backlash against the hardcore sex scene depicted in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris removed or censored the pages containing genitalia from the site, and posted a ridiculous apology:

{{quote|**After Serious Consideration and numerous complaints, I HAVE REMOVED the explicit sexual pages from EPISODE 17 of Comic #8,
And as GOD Promised NEVER again to Flood the earth with a Rainbow over Noah's Ark, I cast My Rainbow of Promise to NEVER AGAIN
Draw or Upload any Further Images between Sonichus and Rosechus in EPISODE 18 of [[Sonichu 8|Comic #8]], as well as ALL Future Comics,
that depict explicit sexuality.| Chris, correctly comparing his pornographic artwork to the horrors of global disaster <ref>[http://sonichu-roschu.blogspot.com/2008/09/episode-17-update.html The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog: Episode 17 Update]</ref>}}

The message was accompanied by Edward Hicks's painting [[wikipedia:File:Noahs Ark.jpg|"Noah's Ark"]]. True to his style, Chris opted to use a modified version (though this time, it is clearly not one that he made).

Despite Chris's assurances, he drew a love scene between Black Sonichu and Silvana Rosechu in the second half of the same issue, and later restored all of the deleted artwork in the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], along with promises of even more hideous furry porn to come.

Chris also offered a "rainbow of promise" in an e-mail to [[Megan]]:

{{quote|I understand the possible irriation from being touched, but I now realize what may have set off the burst of anger. It was because of my immature behavior (with jealousy) over the winner of that contest, wasn't it? I wanted you to know that I have honestly given up on that erronious behavior. I do apologize for having expressed that anger, and I offer a peaceful rainbow as my promise to not get jealous and express such anger again.|Chris, blowing out his ass<ref>"I now understand" 08 August 2007, 3:46 p.m. [[Chris_E-mails_2007]]</ref>}}

Chris also mentions rainbows in "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]", the third track on his album ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''.

<blockquote><poem style="font-style: italic;">I'm lookin' at you all and I see a rainbow, come on
You think I'm different in every way, come on
All of the times that I've earned [[honor roll]]!</poem></blockquote>

This is probably how [[autism]] was explained to him. Either that or he thinks everyone is [[gay]].

==Possible interpretation of Chris's use of rainbows==
[[Image:Pride_flag.jpg|center|top]] 
<center>
[[Homo|'''He's gay!'''
 ]]
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chaotic Combo]]
*[[Chaos Emeralds]]
*[[Homos]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://gay4sonichu.yuku.com/ Gay4Sonichu]
*[http://psmission.webs.com/ Pride Sonichu Mission]
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Plot Devices]]

Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)

2011-12-31T07:49:31Z

AeleeFall: /* Text */

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|right|Bionic conquers the perilously low slope of ATCI3 (but unfortunately not his colours flowing out of the lines) while stranded in the other dimension.]]

'''Bionic the Hedgehog''' is the name of a short story describing the origins of [[Chris's]] first original character (DO NOT STEAL), Bionic the Hedgehog.

An interesting thing to note is that, unlike the [[Sonichu]] character, who was more rooted in the video games, Bionic is more rooted in the Saturday morning cartoons and Archie Comic series.

In this, we can see Chris's [[Feel So Lonesome|loneliness]] and his desire for [[sister|a sibling]] - he imagines that Sonic's [[Cole Smithey|long-lost brother]] will return to be his joy-boy forever.
==Text==

9/4/[[2000]]

[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] is [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog's]] long-lost (But not for long) brother. He's 16-years old, and he's a [[Homos|hot dude]]. His favorite sport is Basketball. He's so terrific at basketball, he can score 100 points in any one quarter. His favorite food is a [[Obesity|Taco-Style Pizza (Hot and spicy).]] He's terrific at electrical devices, such as: robot factories, teleporters, and all other difficult, mechanical devices. Like Sonic, he's an adventurous, impatient, hedgehog, and he's a [[Liquid Chris|good guy]].

Here's the story about him. A long time ago, when Bionic was 6-years old and [[Sonic]] was 5-years old, Bionic and Sonic were playing catch. When sonic threw his sixth throw, he accidentally threw it in a bush. Bionic agreed to retrieve the ball. When he got to the bush, just picking up the ball, he was being sucked in by a trans-dimentional [''sic''] portal. He cried for help from Sonic, but when Sonic got there, he grabbed Bionic's hand. Sonic tried to pull his brother out of the portal, but Bionic's hand slipped out of Sonic's hand, and he was falling. Sonic tried desperately to save Bionic, but he couldn't reach him. [[Chris and death|So, Sonic forgot about Bionic.]]

Bionic ended up in a world of [[Niggos|Basketball players]]. So, he was stranded for years and years. During the time he was there, he learned enough about Basketball, enough to give him the ability to do that "100 point per quarter" thing.

Meanwhile, back in Sonic's dimension, you probably know his story. Here it is in a short story though, Sonic was delivering 300 Chili-Dogs. His Uncle Chuck was captured by [[Robotnik]] and his Swatbots. Sonic meets Sally after realizing Chuck was in danger (He dropped off the [[Wikipedia:Chili-dog|Chili-Dogs]]). Sonic and Sally try to save Chuck, But Robitnik already Robotsized Chuck. So, Sonic joined Sally's Freedom Fighters, and made new friends, like: Tails, Bunny Rabbot, Rotor, Antoine, and many other Freedom Fighters. One day Sonic and Tails, flew to a Chaos Emerald-powered Floating Island, and met Knuckles the Enchidna. [[Punchy|Knuckles]] thought Sonic was an enemy, but realized he was a good guy. They didn't get rid of Robotnik for good, but they became friends. But Sonic left Knuckles so that he can do his job of guarding the Floating Island. Later, Knuckles rescued Sonic and his friends from danger with [[Robotnik]], by forming his own team, [[Chaotic Combo|the Chaotix]]. And, Sonic turned his robotisized Uncle Chuck's personality back to normal (Chuck was still a robot).

One day, when he was eating a Chili-Dog in his bedroom, he found an old picture of himself and Bionic together. Sonic recognized himself, but he didn't remember his brother. He went to his Uncle Chuck, so, that he can talk to him about who was the other hedgehog in the picture. When he got to his Uncle's home, Chuck invited him in. Sonic asked him, "Uncle Chuck, who is that other boy with me in this picture?" Chuck studied the picture and replied to Sonic, "Sonic, this other boy was your brother, his name was Bionic." Sonic said, "Uncle Chuck, I didn't know I had a brother. What happened to him?" Chuck replied, "You saw what happened, and you ran to me and told me the whole thing. But, I'll tell you what you told me.

"Sonic, you were 5-years old, and Bionic was 6-years old." Sonic said, interrupting, "Uncle Chuck, you're saying, he's my big brother?" Chuck replied, "Sonic, let me finish, please. You and Bionic were playing catch, on your 6th throw, you threw it in a bush. Bionic went to get it, as he was getting it, he got sucked in a trans-dimentional portal. You tried to save him, but didn't succeed in saving him." Sonic said, "Well thanks for telling me, but now that I remember it, I feel so sad!" So after he stopped crying, he said, "Good bye," and went home. While he was sitting on his bed, thinking about Bionic, in Bionic's world, he found a way to get out of there. He said good bye to his friends and thanked him for a nice time. He jumped through the portal leading to Sonic's bedroom. Back in Sonic's world, a portal opened up on the wall to his left, and to his suprise, a figure poked out of the portal. When Sonic got a good view of who was coming out of the portal, he recognized him, it was Bionic. Sonic asked, "Is that you, Bionic, [[Cole Smithey|my long-lost big brother]]?" Bionic replied, "Sonic?" When they both saw each other, Sonic rushed up to him and gave him a big hug as the portal closed. Bionic said, "It's good to see my little brother again." Sonic replied, "It's good to see you again, too." Sonic introduced him to all his friends, and Sonic asked him if he would like to join the [[Chaotic Combo|Freedom Fighters]] and stay with himself (Sonic). Bionic, said yes, and Sonic and Bionic had many adventures fighting Robotnik.

The End.

==TL;DR==

[[Sonic]] and [[Bionic]] are playing catch when the ball goes into the bushes. Bionic goes to get it, and falls into an inter-dimensional portal to a basketball-playing world only to reemerge years later. '''[[Chris and writing|Wait, what?]]'''

{{Writings}}
[[Category:Prose]]

The Wallflower

2011-12-31T07:46:46Z

AeleeFall: /* The "Break-up" */

''For the CWCipedia page, see [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)]]. For information on the usage of The Wallflower's name on the [[CWCki]], see [[CWCki:The Wallflower|The Wallflower (policy)]]''

{{quote|And, who cares if you're a fucking acoustic virgin? ... Not even a cheap whore would want your small dick inside her, neither would I.|The Wallflower, [[Wallflower E-mails 3|speaking for women everywhere.]]}}

[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|The Wallflower IRL.]]

'''"The Wallflower"''', aka '''Damian Antaria''', is the heir to [[Megan Schroeder]], a [[gal pal|female friend]] that [[Chris]] met some time around early [[2010]]. She is one of the few girls Chris has managed to associate with in his post-[[high school]] years who is not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of trolling. In [[March 2010]], she joined the long list of would-be [[sweetheart]]s with whom Chris has failed to lose his hated virginity.

The Wallflower wanted the relationship over after a [[troll]] linked The Wallflower to the [[CWCki]]. The ending of their relationship is most likely a result of having her details leaked over the [[Internet]] and Chris exacerbating the problem. Nevertheless, Chris has taken it upon himself to blame those goddamn trolls for destroying yet another chance at getting some [[china]].

==The "Relationship"==
{{quote|It was getting deep. We hung out at her house in her room; it was comfy. No sex or mouth-to-mouth.|Chris [[Jackie Chat 1|explains the deepness]] of his relationship with The Wallflower.}}
{{See also|Wallflower E-mails}}
Exactly when Chris first met her is not clear, though it is suspected that [[Rocky]] may have had something to do with it. While he usually jumps at the chance to advertise his involvement with some of his other women friends to the world, he initially made only oblique, passing references to this one.

[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|The Wallflower on her [[third date]] with [[Clyde Cash]].]]

The first signs of Chris's involvement with The Wallflower showed up in late [[January 2010]]. In [[Mailbag 46#Two hip wallflowers|Mailbag #46]], answered on 26 January, Chris claimed to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers." The Wallflower was sent to the Youth Adult Social Group at the advice of her mother. Around the same time, in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #3]] (which took place on 30 January), Chris said he was expecting a phone call that may have been from her.

In the 14 [[February 2010]] edition of the [[CWC Blog#February 2010|CWC Blog]], Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 56#On appreciating tone (also the end)|Mailbag #56]] challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend", Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

The relationship was, at best, "just friends". Chris himself has confirmed this in [[Sonichu_Forum#News Flash: Chris is still single IRL|one of his posts on the Sonichu Forum]] and again in a [[Jackie Chat 1|private chat]] with [[Jackie]]. Chris's angry remarks on the subject of the "friend zone" in the [[Common Questions#15_January_2010|15 January 2010]] edition of the Mailbag most likely stems from [[Wallflower E-mails|The Wallflower rejecting any romantic advances]].

In [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|a series of e-mails to Vivian]], it was revealed that Chris had been seeing The Wallflower for a while, treating her as his girlfriend in almost the same manner he had treated Megan. He had taken her out on a date and had plans for a second. He even admitted to attempting to talk her into taking his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] on or before his birthday, and had planned to pay for a prostitute if she did not.

Even with all evidence to the contrary, in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"C-Ya Later" video]], he unabashedly [[Chris and Reality|refers to her as his]] [[Boyfriend-free girl|"girlfriend"]], despite outright stating earlier that she had refused all his advances.

A series of [[Wallflower E-mails|e-mails]] revealed by [[Surfshack Tito]] reveals that Chris's attachment to The Wallflower had been a one-sided relationship to Chris as The Wallflower, indeed, had no intention of being with Chris and was shocked and appalled at the fact that Chris even ''thought'' that she was his sweetheart.

==The "Break-up"==
{{quote|Got-Dang Asexual Woman!|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] page on The Wallflower.}}

[[File:The link.jpg|thumb|How to troll both Chris and his trolls in one simple step.]]

When Chris released a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that revealed The Wallflower's identity, one troll decided to link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released [[A message to the Trolls|a message to the trolls]]. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vague terms about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. At the same time, in a [[Cwc blog|Captain's Log]] entry on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME," which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

In the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released [[Don't Mess With Me|a second video]], in which he acted out a theoretical meeting between him and an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]] that ended with Chris slitting an invisible Clyde Cash's throat. Going by that, it's likely that Chris initially blamed the loss of The Wallflower on his old nemesis.

However, on 14 March 2010, Chris uploaded a new video and shifted the blame to another troll, [[Surfshack Tito]]. In between delivering [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|bizarre threats of violence]], Chris makes a resolution to "regain the love and trust and friendship" of his gal pal. It is not clear why Chris believes he can accomplish this goal by donning a kilt, waving around a small knife, putting on a grotesque attempt at a Scottish accent, and generally presenting a hideous affront to the culture and people of an entire nation.

Later that same day, Chris made [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|another video]] where he again referred to The Wallflower by her pen name, and literally begged her to sleep with him because his life was so hard, and otherwise he would have to pay $100 for sex with a hooker.

In the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]], leaked four days later, Chris was mocked by Tito claiming to have had sex with The Wallflower. While Chris was initially incredulous, in a [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|later video]] he expressed outrage at Tito for "taking her from [him]," as Wallflower had recently begun to back up his claims.

The [[Wallflower E-mails 3|third set of e-mails to The Wallflower]] finally confirms what had happened. As seen, The Wallflower was outright shocked at the vastness of information on her page within the [[CWCki]], assumed that Chris had set the page up himself, and ended their friendship. Chris, however, kept trying to salvage their relationship long after it became obvious that he didn't have a chance, angering her even more. She also asserted her hatred of Chris by first saying that Tito was indeed her boyfriend before giving up and just telling him that she was asexual.

==Today==
It seems that, nearly a year and a half since the events of that March morning, Chris has yet to forget her as, [[Calling Out|returning to the Internet]], he calls out Tito and demands that he apologize to her for breaking them up, still referring to her as his "girlfriend". However, a few days later, Chris made [[Correction of EX relationship status|a retraction video]], apparently clarifying that they were indeed just friends. The description of the video seems to suggest that she found out about the video and demanded he correct it.

Interestingly, though he hasn't forgotten about her, he hasn't ''"forgiven her"'' for it.

==Anonymity==
[[File:Stephen-king-picture-1.jpg|thumb|A picture of The Wallflower. Censored at her request.]]

Originally, this article intruded into parts of The Wallflower's life that had nothing to do with Chris, prompting her to request that the article be reworked to refer to her under a pseudonym and avoid direct references to her personal life and identity. The CWCki's administrators reasonably agreed.

Chris is convinced that this change took place because of the angry threats he made in his video of 10 March 2010(roughly around the time the edits were made), when in fact it had nothing to do with him. The changes to this page led him to believe that he could insist on sweeping edits to many other pages, which he listed in the 14 March 2010 Captain's Log update on the CWCipedia. Those demands were ignored.

The e-mails from The Wallflower seem to paint a fuller picture to this. It appears that when The Wallflower discovered her page on the CWCki, she got pissed at Chris and demanded that he remove that information. However, he did it through his [[YouTube]] videos. Annoyed, she went to the CWCki herself.

Chris, in the meantime, continued to drop her first name and pen name in his videos, including [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|one]] which [[Fail|had it in the title]].

Chris later also uploaded [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|a list of his former gal-pals and sweethearts]] on the CWCipedia which included her full name. Chris goes on to blame the existence of her [[Facebook]] page for the leak of her identity and the end of their budding relationship.

Continuing with this theme, 19 [[April 2010]] would see Chris adding an [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|''entire article'']] about her to the CWCipedia. In addition to the usual fits of megalomania and delirium, the page sported a copy-pasted version of this page. Conspicuously absent, however, was this very section.

To this day, he believes the entire debacle was the Wallflower's fault for having a Facebook page for trolls to discover. [[Calling Out|Recently]], though, Chris has seen fit to ''partially'' [[Chris and remorse|accept blame]] for what happened.

==See also==
*[[Wallflower E-mails]]
*[[Wallflower E-mails 2|Wallflower E-mails II]]
*[[Wallflower E-mails 3|Wallflower E-mails III]]

==External links==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Damien_Anteria|linkname=Damien Antaria}}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do6CczCBpl A Tribute]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wallflower}}
{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category: Surfshack Tito Saga]]

It's Raining Men

2011-12-06T21:43:55Z

AeleeFall: /* Lyrics */

'''It's Raining Men''' is the eighth track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of the song "[[Wikipedia:It's Raining Men|It's Raining Men]]" by [[Wikipedia:The Weather Girls|The Weather Girls]], except Chris replaces the word "men" with "dykes," before spending the rest of the song trying to justify his stupid rewording.


== Audio ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "It's Raining Men"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|H8APqlGqhkc}}
| stardate = [[November 2011]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[You Think You're a Man]]
| next = [[Raspberry Swirl]]
}}

=== Lyrics ===
''(sounds of Chris fumbling with mic)'' 
''(Uncertain)'' Uh, hi, we are weather people, and we've got news foooor you. Y-you better listen-get ready, all you lonely girls and men, keep those umbrellas at home, alright.

[''unintelligible''] 
Thermometers getting low, 
A-a-according to all sources, 
The street's a place to go, 
'Cause t'night for the... the first time, 
Just about half past YIKES! 
Forthefirst tiiime in his-to-ry, 
Itsgstart raining [[Homos|dyyyyykes]]!

It's rainin' dyyykes 'aaaaallelujah, 
It's rai-ning dykes! ...Amen! 
I'm gonna go out... to-oo run-toletmyself get 
[[Comeuppance|Absoluuu-lutely soakin' wet!]] 
It's raining dykes, 'Allelujah, 
It's raining dykes, every specimen, 
''(mumbles while fiddling with mic)'' ..daarg-dark, neat, 
[[Lovely Weather|Rough and tough and strong]] and swee-ee-eeeeeet,

God bless Mother Nature, 
She's a single womaaaaan too 
Knows what she likes? She took off to heaven 
'N she did what she had to do. 
She taught every angel 
To rearrange the sky 
So each and every woman and--d-gay 
Could find [''unintelligible''] ''[pause]'' couldfindaperfectgaaaaal!

It's raining dykes! Hallelujah! 
It's raining dykes, ''(fumbling with mic)'' a-Ame-en, 
It's raining dykes. ''(more fumbling)'' Hallelujah! 
It's raining dykes...

''(in speaking voice)'' Raining dykes for tomboy lesbians.

''(continues singing)'' ...Weeather... Movin' iiiin... 
...'Bout ta bee-giin... 
...Hear thunder, don't youuuu lose- 
...Don't you lose your head, 
Rip off the roof and stay in bed

God bless Mother Nature, 
She's a wom-mannnnn too, 
She know what she likes-shet'koff to hea-ven, 
She did what she had to do 
She got every angel ''(more fumbling with the mic)'' 
To re-rearrange the sky 
So that each and every woman and guy 
Could find their perfect gaaal ''(fumbling stops)''

It's raining dykes, yeah. 
''(More muttering and fumbling. The fumbling continues throughout the track)'' ...Barometer's getting low... 
''(stuttering)'' ...to all sources, 
The streeeet's a bu-place to go, 
'Causet'night's gonna- ...For the first time, 
Just about half past YIKES, 
For the first time in historyyyyyyyyyyyy, 
It's gonna start rainin' dyyyyyyyyykes, 
It's raining dykes! Hallelujah! 
It's raining dykes! 'allemen! 
It's rainin' dykes! 'allelujah, 
It's rai-nin' dyyykes...

Raining dykes, 
It's raining dykes, 
Raining dykes, 
Raaaaandykes, 
Raining dykes, dykes...

''(A brief period of Chris just fiddling with the mike, then the song cuts out.)''

{{The Tomgirls}}
[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]

All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend

2011-12-04T21:04:26Z

AeleeFall: /* Introductory notes */

"'''All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend'''" was filmed by [[Chris]] in December [[2004]] to promote his [[Love Quest]].

The video follows his performance of [[So Need a Cute Girl]], which he begins singing shortly before the 5-minute mark. It is noteworthy for being the earliest known footage of Chris wearing one of his [[medallions]].

==Watch==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|QlI9glOj56k}}</center>

===Introductory notes===

'''Chris''': Hello. My name is, uh, Christian Chandler. Age 22 at this time. I will be 23 on February 24, [[2005]]. Anyway, for, uh, over a year now I've, uh, being trying to attract an 18 to 22-year-old [[boyfriend-free girl]], 18 to 21 before February 24, 2004, which is this year. Anyhoo, been trying for over a year to attract a girl, boyfriend-free girl, and I have failed.

[''sits down'']

And, you know, when you get -- when you have so much -- so many failures in this time... you can't help but feel sad, you know? [''begins to pet a stuffed cat sitting on the piano''] And depressed... and here it is about [[Christmas#2004|Christmastime]], and... well, all I want for Christmas is a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. And of course, uh, during the time, I have uh, been, uh, trying... I have written a few songs about my, uh, love quest. And so, for now -- for now, I'd like to sing to you my, uh -- two of my, two of my songs. First one I'm gonna sing is one I've uh, made up first -- written my own lyrics to and t-- turned it into a song.

By the way, this here is [[Sonichu]]. You can look him up on the web. It's my website. Just put in S-O-N-I-C-H-U as your web search term.

Anyway, here's my first song called "[[So Need a Cute Girl]]."

===Lyrics===

[''sung over "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth"'']

:All I want for Christmas is a pretty girlfriend!
:A pretty girlfriend! A pretty girlfriend!
:All I want for Christmas is a pretty girlfriend,
:So that I can be much happier!

:All I want for… [''pauses to wipe brow''] is a girlfriend,
:But she has to be 18 to 22!
:And she must be boyfriend-''freeee'', too!
:Uh, for all the qualities, check out my profile on [[match.com]]!

:All I want for Christmas is a pretty girlfriend!
:A pretty girlfriend! A pretty girlfriend!
:All I want for Christmas is a pretty girlfriend,
:So that I won't be so lonely!

:Oh, the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|boyfriend-free factor is so high]]!
:How many boyfriends are paired up with a girl?
:You can't tell how many—what the girlfriends are paired up or not,
:Which is the reason why I cannot approach women!

:All I want for Christmas is a pretty girlfriend!
:A pretty girlfriend! A pretty girlfriend!
:All I want for Christmas is a pretty girlfriend,
:Now and forever-''mooorrre!''

==See also:==
*[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]
*[[So Need a Cute Girl]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Kimmi]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]

{{CWC on TV}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]

Yellow Is a Mellow Color

2011-12-03T21:05:22Z

AeleeFall: /* Lyrics */

'''"Yellow Is a Mellow Color"''' is the sixth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. Music stolen from the much more successful song "Macarena" and title ripped off from the similarly popular "[[Wikipedia:Mellow Yellow|Mellow Yellow]]". It's one of his best-known songs because it was up for download on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|site]].

Based on a November 2007 [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|ED edit]], where Chris lists "Yellow is a Mellow Color" in his "Random Ramblings" to demonstrate his "[[random-access humor]]", it is suggested that the song is intended to be humorous (to [[Chris|whom]], GodBear only knows).

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Yellow Is a Mellow Color"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dh34cJM63Fg}}
| stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| subject = [[Random-access humor]]
| style =
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| next = [[Feel So Lonesome]]
}}

===Lyrics===

[''sung over [[Wikipedia:Los del Río|Los del Río]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Macarena (song)|Macarena]]"'']

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
[[Sonichu]] zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color

Feeling the condensation 
Living in [[CWCville|my nation]] 
Lemon makes lemonade 
Hey! Mellow color

Traveling without a map 
Is like traveling with no map 
[[Yawning Squirtle|Take a chill pill and dance]] 
Yellow is a mellow color

[''indecipherable''] ... mellow 
Hopefully they won't make him play a cello 
Somehow for Sonichu and friends 
Will zip and zap!

This [[Niggo|little monkey]] he likes to play around 
He eats a bunch of [[Pickles|bananas]] 
Never put a banana in your pajamas 
Yellow is a mellow color

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color 

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]

Bunny Hop

2011-10-26T20:16:18Z

AeleeFall: /* Transcript */

'''Bunny Hop''' is a video shot on Easter [[2009]]. It shows [[Chris]] pretending to be a bunny with a [[Chris and race#Asians|stereotypical Japanese accent]], and doing a [[retard]]ed dance.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Bunny Hop
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VPX7zS23n0U}}
| stardate = 12 [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{RedStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[The Return of Kimmi]]
| next = [[A CWC Audition]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Easter Chris.jpg|thumb|left|The video in a nutshell.]]
[[Image:0031-EasterChristopher.jpg|thumb|A formative experience.]]

(Voice Over: "Pyoonn pyoonn pyoonn! For [[Crass and Champ|Crass and]] [[User:Champthom|Champ]]! Pyoonnnn pyoonnnn pyoonnnn!")

''[Chris is seen holding a pair of pipe cleaners behind his head to represent rabbit ears. He squats down to place his PS3 controller on the ground and gets back up.]''

''[attempting a kind of English accent]'' Hoppy Easter! Ivyyyyy! Crass and... Champ! Mmmm... Hoppy Easter!

''[Begins hopping around, doing a god-awful rendition of "Bunny Hop", a children's song, flailing his arms and wiggling around as the whole front of his torso jiggles up and down in disgusting unison]''

''[Around 0:44 Chris attempts to continue the song using kissing noises]''

Hhhooooooooooo-ppy Easter! Hoppy Easter! Mmm...[[Rape|we'regonnahavefun!]] ''[One of his "ears" falls off, and Chris reaches down to pick it up]

Bye now.

==Alternate version==
A version without the voice over at the beginning was uploaded by [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] on 3 [[October 2010]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Bunny Hop
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Vg4NtCez6Nc}}
| stardate = 12 [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{RedStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[The Return of Kimmi]]
| next = [[A CWC Audition]]
}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The CWC Dance
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Glk7L6FcNe0}}
| stardate = 12 [[April 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/cwcfanb0y2 cwcfanb0y2]
| subject = Do the autistic!
| type = VG Remix
}}

{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[The Return of Kimmi]]|nextlink=[[A CWC Audition]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-12]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-04-12]]

Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud

2011-10-17T20:21:23Z

AeleeFall: /* Transcript */

[[Image:ChrisGuitarHero.jpg|thumb|Your tax money at work.]]
[[Image:Meatwad_display.png|thumb|200px|The genuine Shredwad...]]
[[Image:Meat.jpg|thumb|200px|...and Chris's half-assed ripoff.]]

'''Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud''' [''sic''] is a 17 [[October 2009]] video wherein [[Chris]] butchers [[Wikipedia:Bob Seger|Bob Seger's]] "[[Wikipedia:Old Time Rock and Roll|Old Time Rock and Roll]]" on his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' game on a large flatscreen TV, both definitely paid with his [[monthly tugboat]].

Chris's guitar is a crappy duplicate of [[Wikipedia:Meatwad|Meatwad]]'s Shredwad, his custom guitar featured in ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''.
An episode of ''ATHF'' had the character Meatwad playing with a toy guitar, which he called the 'Shredwad'.{{cite}} The toy was deliberately cheap and shitty looking in the series, which really says something about Chris's art ability since his duplicate of it is just shitty beyond words.

{{Clear}}
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Old Time Rock and Rock on Shredwud
| video = {{#ev:youtube|T6gsT-YiNzg}}
| stardate = 17 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
{{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_15th,_2009#Video| 15 October 2009]]
| next = [[Brutal Legend]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
''[muffled]'' Okay.

[''Chris begins to play "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger on an expensive flat screen HDTV, paid for with your tax dollars, with a [[Gitar of Fail]]. Upon completion, he picks up the camera.'']

''Note: He doesn't show his score. Maybe he isn't satisfied with his score. Maybe he is doing his video to give his true loyal fans the amazing show they deserve. Maybe it's just his way of showing the world his new stuff. One thing is sure, Chris is definitely being [[autistic]] in this video.''

==Previous appearance of band members==
The band members playing with Chris in his virtual band resemble the three women he drew having [[sex]] with him in [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] a week prior.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009]]</ref>

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[15 October 2009]]|nextlink=[[Brutal Legend]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-17]]

Chris Calls Clyde Out

2011-10-07T21:18:11Z

AeleeFall: /* Transcript */

On 23 [[April 2009]], after a nearly week-long silence, [[Chris]] finally speaks up again in '''Chris Calls Clyde Out'''.
==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Calls Clyde Out
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w8LZmZRmzQM}}
| stardate = 23 [[April 2009]]
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedGreenShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]
| next = [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]
}}
{{quote|Come on, trollman. Come out of your trollster's paradise.}}

{{quote|It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.|William Shakespeare on this video
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hello, [[Clyde Cash|Mr. Clyde]]. I have a bit of a message for you [sic] response to one you sent to me recently. ''[pauses, raises eyebrows]'' Yeah. Basically this is the impression ''I'' got from your message.

[''Suddenly starts talking in high-pitched voice''] Oh, look at me! I feel like a silly man! Look at me, my eyes? Don't look at my silly walk, look at my sill-nee-nyeh! Look at me! I am the troll. I should be so trolly. I should be trolly. Yes, ah-gah-dyeeeh! Ooh I'm mee! Look at mee! I've got an eyelid strip thing, beblehbebeblehh! I could be more laaame! You want me to be more lyaaame? Everyone laaame! [[South Park|I built this City (shitty) Wall and City Wok]]. Look at my silly walk! [''moves like a penguin''] Eeee!

[''jump cut'']

Oh, you forgot my silly walk?! See my [[South Park|City Wall]]? I give you [[Chris and English|akickinthehead]]. Hiyaa! [''Chris raises leg in view of camera''] And punchyouintheface. Hiyaaa! Three, I throwsomethingatyou, pyooo! BIIIM! [''camera falls over'']

[''jump cut'']

And you know what else, I throw something else at you. Hiyaa! [''Camera falls over''] Oh, and how 'bout this?! I get [[Autism|'''BLANGRY''']]! [''Chris grunts, growls, and looks a bit constipated, and then he roars at the camera up close and shakes his fists and PS3 controller''] I will call you out, Mr Cush! '''I WILL CAAALL YOU OUT'''! [''he holds his fist up to the camera and punches it'']

[''video cuts to a calmer Chris in a fighting sort of stance'']

Come on, trollman. Come out of your [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|trollster's paradise]]. I'll give you a beatdown. [''waving fist at camera''] You don't like that? Well... [[Random-access humor|tough cookies!]] [''Chris holds a thumb up to the camera sideways with a "psh" noise, and then he pauses and punches at it again with another "psh" noise'']

[''the video cuts again to Chris looking pleased with himself, and he appears to be about to say something, but decides against it'']

Well Clyde, I'll be calling you out. I know you're in my neck of the woods somewhere, so... just come right on out, and find me. [''flashes a victory sign''] Peace.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]|nextlink=[[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-04-23]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-23]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-04-23]]

CWC Address to Unilever About AXE

2011-10-05T20:54:38Z

AeleeFall: /* Transcript of Part 1 */

'''CWC Address to Unilever About AXE''' is a two part video series (now archived as one video) made when [[Chris]] learned that [[Axe]], the line of men's hygiene products (also known as LYNX), is popular among [[homos|gay men]]. The second half was originally removed by YouTube due to a violation.

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Address to Unilever About AXE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uKQctHJ71hA}}
| stardate = 2 [[May 2009]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| subject = {{Homos|text}}
| shirt = {{CreepyRobe|text}}
| previous = [[For My Sweetest Ivy]]
| next = [[MEOW]]
}}

{{quote|I would ask to ban sale of, and use of the product from the homos, but that would be retarded.}}

===Transcript of Part 1===

Good day, I wish to, uh, make an announcement, uh, upon the side note, uh, aside from my usual work blagh would like to, uh, blagh make a claim, uh, make it obvious of to the creators of, uh, my favorite br- one of my favorite brand of, uh, body spray: AXE. [Presents AXE spray] Apparently it ha- it has come to my attention that, uh, bunch of, uh, people of the, uh, wrong orientation are, uh, using the, uh, AXE brand, ah, by which I mean particularly the, uh, homosexuals.

Eh eweh thusly a stereotype has been, uh, m- has been made if you, uh, if, has been made apparently, uh, has been made apparently '''‘you be gay if you wear AXE.’''' That’s so stupid it’s not I mean it’s not true I mean I’m straight and I have been using AXE for years. [Presents AXE again] I’m a proud sub- I’m a proud user of AXE ‘cos originally as it was originally intended for and I quote: [Reading label] “Effective deodorant protection designed to seduce the ladies” and then later, uh, when they expanded to, uh, the, uh, shower gel they continued with that in saying, uh, “ah kee—dr—kee—nahh let’s see. Hydrates your skin leavin’ it so pure that she’ll th—that ''she-ll'' think ''she’s'' the first one to touch it,” and then later again in, uh, shampoo it says here [Reading label] “Get girl approved hair. Wash, attract, repeat.”

Even though, uh, the comments, the, uh, comments, uh, sound, uh, sexist, uh, as I have learned, uh, on, uh, on their page on Wikipedia [gasp] I still feel that, uh, I have been at, uh, I still feel that, uh, is, uh, a big, uh, a big misuse and complete immoral act that the homosexuals take use of our- of the AXE brand which is prefer- which is dimensionally and originally oriented towards the straight people. I mean men attract ladies. It means they’re straight. They want to attract the ladies they’re straight. Please, okay, that didn’t come out right... But my point is anyway, uh, AXE is more straight is more meant for straight people: straight men who wish to attract the straight, nyell, the ladies.

The straight men who wish to attract the ladies and I have been the proud us—prow user of AXE throughout the many bre—throughout the many, uh, variations, ehmore to come and more out there to [stuttering] out there to market and I’m sure, other than the body spray, the ehshower gel and the shampoo. In any case, AXE was adridgionally meant for, and should remain, only for the straight men who wish to attract the women. It is not meant for a homosexual dude to attract another homosexual dude. Ahem. Ticks me off. It really does.

So I hope that, uh, the aff—that the, uh, Unilever the company that creates the AXE products, uh, sees this, uh, video on the YouTube and also, uh, would like also, uh, I would like t- to, uh, well I’d be say— I'd be, uh, I would be sound like, uh, some kind of bad person if I tell 'em to not sell to the homosexuals but I wa—but it should be more obvious from the package that it is meant for straight people. Y'know and also I would like to make the following statement to all homosexuals who dare use it. '''You homosexuals, stay off of our AXE!'''

Peace out.

===Transcript of Part 2===

I wish to, uh, take a moment right now to, uh, read a letter I have just hand-written for the, uh, Unilever company about the, uh, issue at hand with AXE. I read this out loud because I currently cannot find the snail mail address, but when I do I will mail it off directly. But I re—but I read it now for hope that they will at least be able to get the—get the understanding and the gist of my, uh, of my proposition and hopefully do something about it and will not blow me off because of an opinion.

Hmmm. Anyway, to the Unilever company who creates, uh, AXE body spray, shower gel, shampoo, and all of that.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I, Christian Weston Chandler, have been a loyal user of AXE body spray for years now, and I have been enjoying the scent as I look forward to it making me smell better to attract (and keep one of) women to be my sweetheart. I have been sussessful with being enjoyed by my sweetheart—[''looks up to camera''] my sweetest [[Ivy]]. [''continues'']—who enjoys my pleasant presence and company with her.

I write the letter today, with concern of hearing that the '''ho-mo-sess-u-al pop-u-la-tion''' wear the AXE body spray as often as or greater than the straight people. Like myself. For the longest time, AXE has been advertised and meant for STRAIGHT men to attract WOMEN. It was certainly NOT meant to attract... '''other dudes'''.

I would like—I would ask to ban sale of—and use of the product from the homos, ''but that would be [[autism|retarded]]''. Instead I respectfully and humbly request that on the package a statement li—such as "DESIGNED ONLY FOR STRAIGHT ORIENTED MEN" or something strongly similar. Please make this so, and please do not try to blow me off for having an opinion about the product. Or having an opinion about the homosexuals. Because I do not care much about them.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
Proud Straight Male AXE User

Peace.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC the Volcano Does Not Approve of Homosexuals Using AXE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3RxTycDxwqY}}
| stardate = 09 [[September 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type = YouTube Poop
| info = }}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[For My Sweetest Ivy]]|nextlink=[[MEOW]]|}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, May 2009| 2009-05-01]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-05-01]]

I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy

2011-10-05T20:19:15Z

AeleeFall: /* Transcript */

'''I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy''' is a video made by [[Chris]] on 17 [[April 2009]], wherein he apologizes to Ivy for various reasons via one of his [[Kimmi|blow-up dolls]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1vwZ_Kzx6vs}}
| stardate = 17 [[April 2009]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[April 16 Fetish Vids]]
| next = [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]
}}

{{quote|I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity...}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Ivy]], I’m sorry I’ve made some mis- I’m sorry I’ve made the mistakes of showing your picture off to some-to a few, trusted individuals in real life, and I’m sorry about'ta other mistakes I’ve made like, I've should have been drawing the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]], but I got caught up with other things from real life.

Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my [[Virgin with Rage|virginity]] and all my romantic ways and all my emotions, my undying emotions. They belong only to you.

I swear in the name of my [[GodJesus|lord and savior Jesus Christ]] (maybe?) [''Chris blatantly gropes Kimmivy's left breast''], I will never, ever, leave you. You have my undying devotion. I'm all yours, and I hope that you fee-mmh-I know that you feel samely about me. So, let’s just try to keep it that way and Ivy, I love you so much. [''Creepy french kissing with [[Kimmi]]'']

Never leave me, Ivy. And I will never leave you. I love you too much.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[April 16 Fetish Vids]]|nextlink=[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-17]]
[[Category:Vanessa Saga videos| 2009-04-17]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-04-17]]

Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes

2011-08-01T06:22:38Z

AeleeFall: /* Transcript */

The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoon, the syndicated ''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' (not the more serious [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|Saturday morning show]]).

The contest's grand prize — a $1,000 video game shopping spree — was awarded to two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]]. This seminal event marks both the high point of Chris's life and the first hint of his future decline into the manchild we know and troll today. The segment below was from [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] NBC affiliate [[Wikipedia:WVIR|WVIR]]. The other winner was a six year old girl from California, who decided to split her prize money with her classmates instead.

The video shows several revealing things, namely that Chris's verbal skills and fashion sense have not improved since he was twelve. In fact, the only thing that has visibly changed is his sense of entitlement.

Ever since winning the Sweepstakes, Chris has entered several other contests, expecting to win through the sheer power of his [[autism]].

Of the games Chris bought, only 3 are known:
*''Batman Returns''
*''[[Sonic]] Spinball''
*"Star Trek" (probably ''Star Trek: The Next Generation: Echoes from the Past'')

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yGlFUf9ZEcM}}
| stardate = 26 [[1990s#1994|February 1994]]
| maker = NBC's WVVIR
| subject = {{Television|text}} {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RainbowBoy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Leaked]]}}
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Song of Christian#Part 1|Song of Christian]]
}}

===Transcript===

'''Anchorwoman:''' Well, we've got a little more for ya, including what Sonic the Hedgehog means to a very special [[Charlottesville, VA]], boy. And the significance goes ''way'' beyond the [[List of Chris's lies|high score]] and [[List of videos|videos]].

[''One clip cuts out and another begins.'']

'''Anchorwoman:''' Finally, tonight, Sonic the Hedgehog is running [[Wild Sonichu|''wildly'']] in [[Chris's_homes#Cloverleaf_Lakes_Apartments|the Chandler household]] this weekend. Twelve-year-old Christian Chandler of Charlottesville was the winner in [[monthly tugboat|a video game shopping spree]]. Christian is one of only about a hundred winners nationally to receive [[Chris and money|''$1,000'']] worth of Sega games and equipment. For his parents, it’s just another example of how well he's doing. Christian is a high-functioning autistic child. This past fall, [[stress|of his own initiative]], he entered a contest based on a favorite cartoon character.

'''Chris:''' It had to do was exactly...watch ''Sonic the Hedgehog''...uh, ''cartoon''...an—and [[speech impediment|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it…and writed it down for [[Time Void|a whole week]]. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman:''' And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''

'''Co-anchor:''' Unbelievable...

'''Anchorwoman:''' I can't master any of ’em! That's it for ''now'', and it’s just...comin’ up on the NBA basketball game at 5:30. It’s not 6:30; it’s 5:30. We'll see you back here at 11:00. Thanks for watching.

'''Co-anchor:''' Good night.

'''[[Niggos|Black]] Anchorman:''' Buh-bye.

[''One clip cuts out and another begins.'']

'''Anchorwoman:''' —winners nationally to receive ''$1,000'' worth of Sega video games and equipment. Christian ''is'' autistic, but he's entering the contest completely of his own accord was a sign to his parents of how well he is getting along.

'''Chris:''' It had to do was exactly...watch ''Sonic the Hedgehog''...uh, ''cartoon''...an—and [[speech impediment|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it…and writed it down for [[Time Void|a whole week]]. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman:''' And [[Bob|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for the boy to master one of the electronic games before he moves onto another one.

==See also==
* [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]
* [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=n/a|nextlink=[[Song of Christian]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 1994-02-26]]