CWCki - User contributions [en]

Autism

2015-08-25T16:24:04Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: It's not "false information", if you remove something state why

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[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|'''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|[[Chris]], on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble 9.5]]}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED.|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff|exposing Jeff]].}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

Christian Weston Chandler has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

{{quote|He may be high functioning (which I actually doubt -- who would want to admit to thousands of strangers that they are actually severely challenged??), but that does not mean he can function like a non-mentally challenged person.|[http://www.cracked.com/funny-3956-chris-chan/| real2, Cracked.com]}}

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are for the most part his own fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame (other than the elderly [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]) for Chris's sudden loss of language development. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child, as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and sex#Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approached him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref>

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13-year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing platonic relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and the organization of elements bordering OCD. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He was prohibited from attending pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise.

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PlayStation 3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]—where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

*An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]], which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]]—as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly. This condition is also linked to [[speech impediment]].

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.
[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in Super Smash Bros.]]
Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community.]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the Internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''". A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can therefore be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel;" that is to say, it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window into hell."

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* <s>[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* <s>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110915021331/http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site." Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

User:AlfredNTheFettuc

2015-01-26T12:01:18Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: Replaced content with "{{Naive}}"

La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova

2015-01-26T11:58:44Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: groans to be had

"'''La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova'''" ("[[Chris's kitchen|The kitchen]] in [[Love Quest|Casanova]]'s house") is the fifth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. It is sung over the Spanish version of Ricky Martin's "The [[Fapcup|Cup of Life]]".

More than anything else, this song demonstrates Chris's ''total mastery'' of [[Spanish]].

It should also be noted that the real-life [[Wikipedia:Giacomo Casanova|Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt]] was Venetian, not Spanish; Chris probably mistook him for Spanish because his name resembles ''casa nueva'', Spanish for "new house."

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-EDf5J2xP-A}}
| stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]
| next = [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]
}}

===Lyrics===

[''sung over [[Homos|Ricky Martin's]] "''[[Wikipedia:The Cup of Life (Ricky Martin song)|La Copa de La Vida]]''"'']

¡Casanova! 
¡Casanova! 
¡Casanova! 

¡Estamos en la cocina! 
¡En la casa de Casanova! 
¡Estamos divertido, sí! [?] 
¡Bailamos con la música! 

¡Hay muchas chicas y niñas aquí 
En la casa! 

¡Casanova está muy feliz 
Porque está hacienda cosas calientes! 

¡Hace calor! ¡Hace calor! 
¡Casanova! 

Here we go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Esta noche… 
Esta noche sera 
Diversión! [?] 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Uno, dos, tres! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Un, deux, trois! 
¡Olé, olé olé! 

Because he 
Is Casanova! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Olé, olé! (¡Olé, olé!) [repeat to end] 

¡Casanova!

===Translation===

Casanova! 
Casanova! 
Casanova! 

We're in the kitchen! 
In Casanova’s house! 
We’re having fun, yes! 
We’re dancing with the music! 

[[Pedofork|There are lots of girls and girls here]] 
In the house! 

Casanova is very happy 
[[Chris and sex|Because he’s doing hot things!]] 

It's hot! It's hot! 
Casanova! 

Here we go! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 
Go, go, go! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 

This night… 
This night will be 
Fun! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 

One, two, three! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 
''Un, deux, trois!'' 
''¡Olé, olé olé!'' 

Because he 
Is Casanova! 
Go, go, go! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 

''¡Olé, olé!'' (''¡Olé, olé!'') [repeat to end] 

Casanova!

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]

Heterochromia

2015-01-19T16:02:02Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: Technically an identical twin cannot be of the opposite sex, nevertheless Crystal is supposed to be identical besides sex otherwise

<center>[[Image:Eyes.jpg|850px|EYE SEE YOU]]</center>

{{quote|Chris's eyes are very, VERY slightly different in color. It's nothing you would be able to notice unless he fucking points it out to you...or you [[Autism|just happen to notice small details like that]].|[[Emily]]}}

'''[[Wikipedia:Heterochromia|Heterochromia]]''' is a medical condition where the [[Wikipedia:Iris (anatomy)|irises]] are differently colored. There are two kinds: complete and partial. Partial heterochromia is where part of the iris is differently colored from the rest. Chris has complete heterochromia, where one eye is a different color from the other.

Chris claims that although his eyes were originally blue in [[high school]]<ref>[[Blanca Emails, August 2008]]</ref> he contracted pink eye ([[Wikipedia:Conjunctivitis|conjunctivitis]]) in his right eye and the prescribed [[Wikipedia:Eye drop|eye drops]] turned it green. His explanation cannot be true - while some medications can cause heterochromia as a side effect, the simple antibiotic or antihistamine eye drops prescribed for conjunctivitis cannot. It's more likely that his heterochromia was genetically inherited. In school pictures taken while Chris was very young, close examination reveals that his eyes are different colors. Nevertheless, the pink eye story is one of his favorites when introducing himself to girls.

It is also a prominent, hugely exaggerated feature of his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic self]], with one eye coloured emerald green and the other a sea blue. In reality, Chris's condition isn't particularly noticeable except upon close examination, and the less kind amongst us might presume that he only plays it up for want of any other endearing characteristics. According to eye witnesses (like the above quoted), Chris's eyes are indeed differently colored, but to nothing like the degree Chris describes or draws. Slight heterochromia is in fact fairly common in people of northern European lineage, but Chris seems to think it is exceptionally rare and that he is [[Chris and his Ego|more special for having it]]. His identical twin sister, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], is drawn with two blue eyes, instead of sharing his heterochromia (while being intended to be identical to Chris otherwise besides the sex). The reason for this is presumably because Chris believes he "acquired" his heterochromia.

A close examination of Chris's eyes seems to indicate that Chris's "green" eye is actually more of a hazel/greenish shade of blue rather than a distinctly green eye as Chris portrays. It should also be noted that, despite his insistence on pointing out that his eyes are different colors, Chris often mistakenly colors his right eye blue and his left eye green in his comics. The reasons for these mistakes are speculated as a symptom of studying himself in the mirror to memorize his appearance,<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> lack of attention while coloring, inability to discern left from right, or perhaps even Chris himself really doesn't notice the difference that much.

==Instances where Chris has mentioned his heterochromia==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"[[CWC Update 13 August 2009|My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green.]]"]]

*He told [[Anna]] about it in [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]].
*He told [[Blanca]] in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris introduces himself with the pink eye anecdote|email]] as a self-introduction.
*He told [[Emily]] on their [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date]].
*[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]].
*He told [[Regina e-mails|Regina]] in an [[Regina e-mails|email]].

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Honest content]]

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Lego

2015-01-19T15:21:55Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Influences in the Comics */ Subtle ripoff I just caught

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:118-LegoCWC.jpg|thumb|Chris is just as fail in his Lego form as in any other.]]

'''Lego''' is a brand of plastic building block [[toys]]. They are noted for their durability and ease of use, allowing the creation of almost anything imaginable. Needless to say, [[Chris]] has relied heavily on Lego blocks to put his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|creations]] into reality. They were a staple gift during his childhood [[Christmas]], his late teens, and his early twenties. Even today, they remain a centerpiece of his life, with Chris spending literal thousands on Lego sets.

== Chris's Minor Lego Brick Creations ==
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|Panoramic vista of [[CWCville]], in all its blocky glory.|thumb]]

* [[Pixelated PS3]] (also made with [[Pixelblocks]])
* [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]]
* [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|''Titanic''-like boat]]
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag "Heavy-duty case"] to hold his [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|''Pokémon'']] card decks, acknowledged by Chris as one of his most noteworthy [[inventions]] (also held together with tape).
*[[PlayingHouse|A model family]] with him, [[Jackie]], [[daughter|Crystal]] and [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]].

Chris has also found other uses for his Lego blocks besides simply building stuff. In his [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|AIM chat]] with [[Vivian Gee]], he noted that he uses his Lego figurines to "rehearse" imaginary conversations with women.

== Chris's Major Lego Brick Creations ==
Beyond any doubt, the most notable creation Chris has ever constructed with Lego bricks is the model city of [[CWCville]] that was on display in his room for years, and that was where Chris pieced together many ideas that would later wind up in the [[Sonichu]] comics. At one point, CWCville consumed almost a third of his room. Chris himself eventually dismantled much of it. Neophyte Christorians may be surprised to learn that CWCville itself, however, is ''not'' the most influential creation in Chris's litany of Lego creations, however...

That award goes to his [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|Lego Manchester High School]].

[[Image:14305011100 debcde366f b.jpg|Chris's Model of Manchester High School, after it had been damaged by the fire.|thumb]]

A sizeable, sprawling building made from over a dozen Lego sets, this is, without a doubt, one of the largest, most expensive, and most important (to him, at least) creations Chris has ever worked on, a clear attempt to indulge himself in better days by reminding him of when he was still in high school, when he had [[gal-pals]] friends of a sort and was [[List of places that have banned Chris|tolerated by society]], before his innocence was shattered during his [[Graduation]]. By all accounts, Chris got it built up literally days before the tragic news that his [[gal-pals]] were only hanging around him out of pity, and it was equally-tragically one of many things irrevocably lost during the [[Destruction Of Chris's House]]. A general accounting shows that the Lego Manchester High model cost him about $1000.

Chris has since thrown absolutely everything at not only rebuilding his model School, but improving and expanding it. How much of this is a desire to rebuild what was lost, how much of this is an addiction, and how much is an attempt to lose himself in memories of the past is uncertain, but given the increasingly-terrifying steps Chris has taken to preserving it, as is evidenced below, it is extremely clear that it's a symptom of a much bigger and more pressing problem, as listed below.

== Influences in the Comics ==
Inspired by his [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] have a pair of Lego go-karts [[:File:SchuComic9P35.jpg|in their garage]], the only vehicles they are shown to possess.

[[:File:SchuComic7Page47.jpg|A panel]] in [[Sonichu 6]] features a hospital in which [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] is being held, which upon closer inspection has its design copied from the set [http://brickset.com/sets/7892-1/Hospital 7892] (owned by Chris in his Lego [[CWCville]]), even down to window placement.

== Qi Meng Bricks Police Station set==
[[Image:Comparisonsmall2.jpg|thumb|One of these things is not like the other...]]
In one of Chris's birthday photos he is seen holding what appears to be a new Lego "6332-1 - Command Post Central".<ref>Link to Peeron page on set [http://www.peeron.com/inv/sets/6332-1 "6332-1 Command Post Central"]</ref> Upon further inspection it is apparent that is merely a rebranded Qi Meng (启蒙, "Enlighten") Bricks "POLICE SERIES" set which is almost a direct clone of the original Lego set. Presumably the Qi Meng Bricks logo was altered by a third party and replaced with "LEGO bricks". Chris's parents probably bought it relatively cheap at a discount store that carries knock-off brands, so it's not like they were shopping for a quality present for Chris in the first place. It should be noted that Qi Meng Bricks are much more fragile than Lego and are of generally [[Liquid Chris|much poorer quality]] than Lego sets are, something that probably went unnoticed by Chris.

==Kre-o==
[[File:Chris Lego.jpg|thumb|left|100px|This one figurine was built out of at least $100 worth of sets.]]

To no surprise, Chris bought a rival Lego set made by Hasbro (the company behind [[Transformers]] and [[My Little Pony]]) called Kre-o. Chris specifically bought the $50 [[Optimus Prime]] set and used one of the human figurines combined with Lego parts to make a Frankenstein's monster minfig of himself. A ''highly'' amusing note is that Chris's minfig, due to its being from multiple sets, is significantly shorter than other minfigs, which Chris has accounted for by affixing platform shoes (read: small block) to his feet to make him seem taller and more in-line with other minfigs.

This version of Lego Chris was last seen 11 [[January 2013]] on [[Facebook|Chris's Facebook]] depicting his Lego self as a fallen angel of sorts. It also now sports a [[Tomgirl Saga|ponytail]].

==Addiction and Financial Ruin==
[[File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|thumb|[[Snorlax]]]]
As time has gone on, it's become increasingly apparent that Chris has been spending insane amounts of money on Lego sets. Initially, many had written this off as an attempt to rebuild his Manchester High School project following his house catching fire, but as time has gone on, it's become far more apparent that he's simply feeding an addiction - if not trying to [[Chris and Reality|escape from reality entirely]] by burying his head in happier times, and has spent somewhere in the vicinity of five thousand dollars on recently-acquired Lego sets.

This is on top of [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|essentially begging friends and Facebook acquaintances for money]], making a [[Kickstarter]] project for money to make a Lego [[CWCville Shopping Center]] that failed ''twice'' (the first time due to it breaking the site rules, the second due to not receiving the correct backing of '''''$5,000''''' before 23 [[October 2014|October]]) and posting a wishlist of Lego sets he wanted from them. One of the sets on his wishlist was a SpongeBob-themed set retailing for around ''$300'', leading even [[William Elliott Waterman]] to call him out on his greed for expecting anyone to spend this much money on him for any reason, let alone to buy him luxuries. As time went on and Chris posted images of his damaged Manchester High Project, several noticed a huge number of empty boxes near the melted mock-school: sets that are all ''incredibly recent releases''. Fittingly enough, the CWCki's team of [[Trolls|impartial observers]] began to attempt to answer a very simple question:

''Just how much is Chris's addiction to these damned things costing?''

To further breakdown the expense of this project, Chris's new MHS model incorporates about 10 Lego Friends Heartlake High Sets - which retail for about $50 each. There are multiple furnishings in the MHS model that ''only'' come in a specific Simpsons box set - one that retails for about $200. This same set is also the only one that provides pieces for a miniature that Chris turned into [[Sandy Rosechu]], which confirms the initial price. Just for MHS ''alone'', Chris has spent over $700. When one factors in incredibly expensive kits like the [[Optimus Prime]] set he was confirmed to have (over $160), a Batman set he was likewise confirmed to have ($50), and the Temple of Light set he's confirmed to have, that's ''over a thousand dollars''. Other recent identifications that show what Chris has acquired include a $60 Batcave set, a $75 scale model White House, and multiple [[My Little Pony|Equestria Girls]] sets.

By all accounts, Chris has spent at least '''''$5,000''''' on Lego since the Branchland Court fire. This is on top of the $800-1200 he spent on creating his MHS project the first time. One might make the argument that this is one of his many steps in repairing [[CWCville]], but it's just as likely that Chris has developed an honest-to-god addiction that can and will prove financially ruinous to him.

If this is indeed an addiction of sorts, it likely has origins in [[Barbara|Barb's]] hoarding, and her bribing Chris with toys when he was young in order to coax him into speech. While it [[Chris and money|existed in other forms]] prior to these events, the stress triggered by the loss of [[Bob Chandler|his father]], [[Destruction Of Chris's House|his home]], [[Simonla#Simonla_as_the_Lynchpin|and even the sanctity of his personal retreat]] have intensified his hoarding of Lego as a way to escape his bleak present situation - which is in-keeping with his family's habit of [[Greene_County_School_System#The_aftermath|running away]] [[28 October 2011|from their problems]] - and given it an unnerving therapeutic quality that it didn't seem to have before.

The fact that Chris has spent thousands on Lego alone is absolutely horrifying, especially when one takes into account the fact that his financial situation is so dire that he has been reduced to begging for donations on Facebook to get by. Rest assured, good reader: no one on the CWCki takes any joy in this. Whether due to genuine addiction or a misguided attempt to lose himself in fantasy, Chris is at the precipice of a truly dreadful situation, one that is unfortunately [[Chris and health|only]] [[Chris and anger|one]] [[Chris and reality|more]] [[Chris and his ego|thing]] for which he desperately needs professional help. Not only does he risk further financial difficulty if he continues to spend beyond his means like he is, his compulsive hoarding may become as physically dangerous as his mother's has. What he faces is a disease, and it deserves to be treated as such.

Sadly, Chris will [[Chris and his Ego|never admit to there being any problem]].

==Gallery==
<center>
{{collapsible
|Gallery of Lego|<gallery perrow=5>
Image:0092-Christians14th.jpg|Spyrius, fuck yeah! Christian's 14th birthday.
Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[2005]]. Proof of pirated toy, look at the "Brick" font. Note that he is ''23'' in this photo.
Image:0784-LegoPS3-1.JPG|The [[pixelated PS3]] of fail.
Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[1996]].
Image:400-LegKrt1.jpg|If you have no idea how to make your own Lego Go-Cart, Chris has your back.
Image:401-LegKrt2.jpg
Image:0424-CwcvilleBandStand1.jpg|A Lego gift to [[Cole Smithey]], perhaps Chris's first [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|band]]?
Image:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|A better view.
Image:0426-InformationCenter1.jpg|A model of the Information Center from Lego Island.
Image:0427-InformationCenter2.jpg|A rear view of the Information Center.
Image:0428-InformationCenter3.jpg|Further away view of Information Center.
Image:0429-ChristianWTallStack1.jpg|A face expressing either pride or gas.
Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|[[Duck|More than seven inches long!]]
File:CWC0001.jpg
Image:0431-CWCNuculus.jpg
Image:0440-CWCAndHis9Karts.jpg
Image:0438-CWCsMarioKartsX8.jpg
Image:0439-CWCsMarioKartsX9.jpg
Image:0441-MarioKartGPGroup.jpg
Image:0443-9KartCarrier1.jpg
Image:0785-LegoPS3-2.JPG|Moar of the pixelated PS3.
Image:0783-LegoPS3AndGuitar.JPG|Pixelated PS3 and the [[Gitar]].
Image:0111-LegoWalkman1.jpg|An earlier effort: The Lego Walkman.
Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|Bionicle, the door's poster and figures in upper left corner.
Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|TIE Fighters zoom above a part of Lego CWCville.
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg
Image:0824-EP12-5P6-9.jpg|CWCville: An overbuilt hellhole ruled by a man-child.
Image:0826-EP12-5P6-7.jpg|The money that paid for this could have gone to cancer patients.
Image:0852-Cwcville1.JPG|View over CWCville.
Image:0856-Cwcville5.JPG|Sonichu's house.
Image:0857-Cwcville6.JPG|Sonichu's garage, note the go cart.
Image:0858-Cwcville7.JPG|Chris apparently lives in [[Ruckersville|Rockersville]].
Image:0859-Cwcville8.JPG|God bless CWCville.
Image:0860-Cwcville9.JPG|Lego version of tails.
Image:0862-Cwcville11.JPG|CWCville police.
Image:0863-Cwcville12.JPG|Sonichu and Sonic, apperently.
Image:0864-Cwcville13.JPG|House of fail. Note the Garbled mess on the TV and the "I voted" sticker.
Image:0866-Cwcville15.JPG|Nice lighting, Dumbass.
Image:0868-Cwcville17.JPG|Rosechu and Amy talking about [[Women's rights|Shopping]]
Image:0869-Cwcville18.JPG|View of [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
Image:0870-Cwcville19.JPG|CWCville apparently has a [[Rocky Shoemaker call|bad shark problem]].
Image:0871-Cwcville20.JPG|Welcome to fabulous CWCville!
Image:0872-Cwcville21.JPG|CWCville General Hospital.
Image:0873-Cwcville22.JPG|Chris also has megablocks, Lego's [[Slow in the minds|retarded]] cousin.
Image:0875-Cwcville24.JPG|Chris is apparently a fan of the Power Puff Girls.
Image:0881-Cwcville30.JPG|Truck of fail. Note the Zapbud.
Image:Fbp11.png|Lego Chris, about to teach Lego Britney Spears about [[Duck|waterfowl]].
Image:Chris Lego.jpg|Smug Lego Chris sitting on his epic heavy metal throne.
Image:Facebook1.jpg|[[Hard Love Quest|Here you see, a sad and Lego Christian C.]]
Image:Facebook2.jpg|Truly a fallen angel.
File:Lego - 24 September 2013.jpeg|Chris gets back at Megan using voodoo
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|The Bitch, the Witch and the Bastard
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|That'll teach them

</gallery>}}
</center>

==See also==
[[File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|thumb|Lego Chris in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.]]

* [[A Sonichu Day]]
* [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]]
* [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
* [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
* [[Pixelblocks]]
* [[PlayingHouse]]

==Sources==
<references/>

[[Category:Hobbies]][[Category:Toys]]

Autism

2015-01-05T07:27:22Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Chris's symptoms */ Sorry if it's an awkward link but I'm currently too slow-in-the-mind to link to an image

{{Articleofthenow}}
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[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]
::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''
'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

{{quote|He may be high functioning (which I actually doubt -- who would want to admit to thousands of strangers that they are actually severely challenged??), but that does not mean he can function like a non-mentally challenged person.|[[http://www.cracked.com/funny-3956-chris-chan/| real2, Cracked.com]]}}

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism_papers|updated]] [[28_October_2011#Arraignment,_plea_bargain,_and_sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song_of_Christian#The_actual_poem]]</ref> Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame (other than the elderly [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]) for Chris's sudden loss of language development. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child, as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naive|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and sex#Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref>.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.
**In the [[Jackie E-mails 23|final exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to Jackie's frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by telling her she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; While he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and near OCD like organization. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref>

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]--where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

*An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]], which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone - in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) - which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] - which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical excercise. Whever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_captured_on_video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [http://www.sonichu.com/w/images/e/e2/0782-CWCSpread.JPG hanging limply] - as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly. This condition is also linked to [[speech impediment]].

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|the disorder did not even exist before he was born]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. More recently he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In more recent years (specifically, during [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009), he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up - in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on [[TV Tropes]] said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* <s>[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* <s>[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Autism

2015-01-04T19:17:28Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Chris's symptoms */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Template:DeadLinks}}
[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]
::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''
'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

{{quote|He may be high functioning (which I actually doubt -- who would want to admit to thousands of strangers that they are actually severely challenged??), but that does not mean he can function like a non-mentally challenged person.|[[http://www.cracked.com/funny-3956-chris-chan/| real2, Cracked.com]]}}

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism_papers|updated]] [[28_October_2011#Arraignment,_plea_bargain,_and_sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song_of_Christian#The_actual_poem]]</ref> Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame (other than the elderly [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]) for Chris's sudden loss of language development. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child, as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naive|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and sex#Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref>.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.
**In the [[Jackie E-mails 23|final exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to Jackie's frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by telling her she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; While he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and near OCD like organization. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref>

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]--where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

*An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]], which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone - in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength, (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) - which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] - which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical excercise. Whever Chris is shown sitting, he is spread around like a rag doll, hanging limply - as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly. This condition is also linked to [[speech impediment]].

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|the disorder did not even exist before he was born]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. More recently he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In more recent years (specifically, during [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009), he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up - in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on [[TV Tropes]] said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* <s>[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* <s>[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

ModNation Racers

2011-09-03T10:44:02Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: Not all racers are the same, gahhh

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:ModNation Racers.jpg|thumb|''MR'' [[America]]n box art]]

'''''ModNation Racers''''' is a customizable kart racing game for the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]] that [[Chris]] has taken a liking to. It isn't quite [[2010]]'s answer to ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', but it's close.

In addition to providing [[Autism|autistics]] with the simple gameplay used in kart racers and cute, [[Homos|gaily]]-colored characters found in [[Pokemon|many]] [[Animal Crossing|children's]] [[Sonic|games]], ''ModNation Racers'' is heavily based around user-generated content, much like ''LittleBigPlanet''. Chris can now foist his questionable [[Chris and art|design skills]] upon the world through a kart racing game.

==Chris's ModNation career==

[[Image:126473378631.JPG|thumb|200px|How Modnation looks in Chris's mind]]
When only the beta version of the game was available, Chris posted 25 screen caps of him driving a yellow, [[Sonichu]]-themed cart around an empty racetrack on the [[CWCipedia]]. These were filed under [[Copyright|"Original CWC Art"]]. Later, after the retail version arrived, he created a number of characters and cars (images are available below), as well as a CWCville track.

It is of great concern to Chris that despite his belief that he has a large [[fanbase]], barely anybody has bothered to download his poorly designed track and he continues to whore it out at every opportunity. On 17 July 2010, Chris updated his [[Twitter]] account for the first time in ages, begging his imaginary followers to give him codes for the "Mystery Mods" (promotional DLC packs included with the pre-ordered copies of the game<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/27/modnation-racers-mystery-mods-revealed/]</ref>) and to download his CWCville track so that he could acquire yet another trophy. 26 July saw yet another Twitter update whining for downloads and positive reviews.

He also posted multiple threads on the forums at [[GameFAQs]] and Gamespot making similar demands. When his initial beg-a-thons were deleted because of those boards' anti-soliciting policies, Chris, being Chris, just went ahead and posted them again.

Despite having all the free time in the world to practice his skills, Chris remained mediocre at ''ModNation Racers''. This should come as little [[Soul Calibur|surprise]]. After racing in 1,600+ contests, Chris has won less than a quarter of these (with almost 100 "Disconnected" and "Did Not Finishes", indicating some [[Rage|tard-rage]] present).

Additionally, a number of his characters show they have been used in 0 races even days after their creation, meaning even Chris didn't even bother to use his own creations.

==Beta screen caps==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:MODNATION.JPG|Modnation Chris, about to go snake hunting.
Image:MODNATION_1.JPG|Sonichu license plate
Image:MODNATION_2.JPG|''Modnation'': the game that lets you make Sonichu [[medallions]]
Image:MODNATION_19.JPG|Chris plows his car into an orange pylon
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==

{{collapsible
|Chris's ModNation characters|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Modnation ChrisChan.jpg|Chris
File:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|[[Sonichu]]
File:Modnation Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]]
File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Lego Chris]]
File:Modnation LegoInfomaniac.jpg|[[Legos|The Infomaniac]]
File:Modnation 1stTransformersRacer.jpg|[[Transformers|A "Transformer"]]
File:Modnation ExcelExcel.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Excel]]
File:Modnation HayattHatchan.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Hyatt]]
File:ModNation Wild.jpg| [[Wild Sonichu]]
File:ModNation Punchy.jpg| [[Punchy Sonichu]]
File:ModNation MagiChan.jpg| [[Magi-Chan]]
File:ModNation Bubbles.jpg| [[Bubbles Rosechu]]
File:ModNation Angelica.jpg| [[Angelica]]
File:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg| [[Count Graduon]]
File:ModNation AmericanRabbit.jpg| [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|American Rabbit]]
File:ModNation PattiChan.jpg| [[Patti-Chan]]
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichu.jpg| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
File:ModNation PrincessClara.jpg|Princess Clara
File:ModNation FoxxyLove.jpg|Foxxy Love
File:ModNation No24MHSPlayer.jpg|A [[Niggo|basketball player]] from Chris' [[Manchester High School|high school]]
File:ModNation MHSCheerleader.jpg|...and a [[Laura_Beth_Dorazio|cheerleader]] to pair him off with.
File:ModNation No65MHSPlayer.jpg|Another basketball player.
File:ModNation 1996ChristianChandler.jpg|...and someone to pair him off with.
File:ModNation Bionic.jpg|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
File:ModNation ManchesterShirt.jpg|A [[Transformers|Transformer]](?) wearing a [[Manchester High School|Manchild High]] shirt
File:ModNation PaRappa.jpg|[[PaRappa the Rapper]]
File:ModNation TiaraBoobowski.jpg| [[List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu#Sonic the Hedgehog franchise|Tiara Boobowski]]
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg| [[Son-Chu]]
File:ModNation TrollMale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil_Trolls|Male devil troll]]
File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil_Trolls|Female devil troll]]
File:ModNation TrollbusterCal.jpg| Fighting trolls everywhere with [[The Creepy Stare|the creepy stare]]
File:ModNation TrollbusterDeeDee.jpg| ...And Sarah Palin, apparently.
File:ModNation TrollbusterTee.jpg| Laziest character design, EVER!
File:ModNation Y2KChrisChan.jpg| Chris from the year [[2000]].
File:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg| <s>ModNation Racers, the best way to express your love for [[Jackie|someone.]]</s> DELETED sometime after the "breakup".
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg| [[Sailor Megtune|...creepy,]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|disturbing]] love. But love none the less!
File:ModNation_XBox360ko.jpg| [[Hex Box]]!
File:ModNation_PS3mi.jpg| [[PS3]].
File:ModNation LordIlPalzzo.jpg| [[ScotPalazzo|Lord Palzzo]] from [[Excel Saga]].
File:ModNation BlackSonichu.jpg| [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]. Take note that he was added to ModNation Racers [[Racism|long after his wife was]].
File:ModNation PSMoveMotion.jpg| [[Nintendo|<s>Wiimote</s>]] [[PS3|Sony Move controller.]]
File:ModNation SodiumOneSoldier.jpg| [http://www.sodiumone.com/en/ Sodium One Soldier]
File:CWC Psychlight.png| [http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/2974828 CWC Psychlight]
File:ModNationCrystal.jpg| A [[Tomgirl Pictures|drag racer.]]
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|Chris's ModNation cars|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Modnation SonichuKart.jpg|A car for Sonichu
File:Modnation RosechusKart.jpg|And Rosechu too!
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|[[Son-Chu]]
File:Modnation 1991CamaroZ-28.jpg|Hot Wheels
File:Modnation JaguarXj220Revealers.jpg|More Hot Wheels
File:Modnation Zr1CorvetteRevealers.jpg|
File:Modnation PontiacBanshee.jpg|Nothing to see here
File:Modnation AMansToy.jpg|Not [[gay]] at all.
File:Modnation 1stTransformerRaceCar.jpg|Transformation not included
File:Modnation Wiimote.jpg|[[Chris and death|<s>A casket</s>]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Nintendo Wiimote]]
File:ModNation AuNatured.jpg| [[Nudes|Au "Naturel"]]
File:ModNation Prowler.jpg| [[Prower|Prowler]]
File:ModNation CountGraduonScepter.jpg| Count Graduon's [[Sex toys|Scepter]]
File:ModNation AmericanRabbitsskates.jpg| [[The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit|The American Rabbit]]'s rollerskate
File:ModNation Foxxy5..jpg| A van featured in the series [[Wikipedia:Drawn Together|Drawn Together]]
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichuKart.jpg|A kart for [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
File:ModNation Arwing.jpg|[[Wikipedia:Star_Fox_(series)#Arwing|Another game franchise ruined by Chris...]]
File:ModNation ManchesterHighShortBus.jpg|[[Slow-in-the-minds|The short bus]]
File:ModNation TrollbustersTruck.jpg| Who you gonna call? The [[Trolls|Troll]][[Ghostbusters|Busters!]]
File:ModNation TrollbustersCar.jpg| Perfect for running over those [[B-Manajerk|pesky]] [[Michael Snyder|trolls.]]
File:ModNation BombDeliveryRobot.jpg| Of all the robots from [[Excel Saga|this show]], he makes this instead of the gynoids.
File:ModNation PSMoveNavigator.jpg| So much for [[The MovingFoward videos|"moving forward"]]
File:ModNation SaltShooterTank.jpg| [http://www.sodiumone.com/en/ Salt Shooter tank]
File:ModNationTomgirlTomboy.jpg| A car with [[Homos|gender identity issues]]
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|"Tour de CWCville" ModNation tracks|<gallery perrow="4">
File:CWCvilleTrackCity.jpg| [[CWCville|Downtown]]
File:CWCvilleTrackPark.jpg| [[McIntire Park|CWCville Park]]
File:CWCvilleTrackForest.jpg| [[Rape|CWCville Forest]]
File:CWCvilleTrackMountain.jpg| CWCville Mountains
File:CWCvilleTrackBeach.jpg| [[Sonichu_8#Episode 18: "Spring Break, 2008!"|CWCvillle Beach]]
File:ModNationCity.jpg| ModNation City
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res character mods|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNationRacers.JPG|[[Jackie]].
File:ModNationRacers 1.JPG|Chris expects Jackie to walk around in a T-shirt that says "Chris Loves Jackie". Might have as well said "Property of Chris-chan".
File:ModNation Racers 108.JPG|[[Patti Chandler|Patti]]. If the 2D shot was passable, the actual 3D model is creepy.
File:ModNation Racers 109.JPG|Dog tails don't work that way.
File:ModNation Racers 121.JPG|Duuuuuude.
File:ModNation Racers 110.JPG|Chris: "Hi! Wanna go to my treehouse and have sex?"
File:ModNation Racers 111.JPG|[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], with a painted-on face.
File:ModNationRacers 226.JPG|Sonichu, with a painted-on tail.
File:ModNation Racers 112.JPG|[[Rosechu]], a deer in Chris's headlights.
File:ModNationRacers 227.JPG|Rosechu's back.
File:ModNationRacers 113.JPG|[[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]], very scared of Chris.
File:ModNationRacers 114.JPG|[[Angelica Rosechu|Angelica]], very scared of Chris.
File:ModNationRacers 115.JPG|[[Wild Sonichu|Wild]], in middle of learning the theory of advanced mass debating techniques.
File:ModNationRacers 116.JPG|[[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]], having finally activated the satellite dishes under his ears.
File:ModNationRacers 117.JPG|[[Magi-Chan]], using his superior intellect and psychic powers to detect that particularly remarkable good young man's ass.
File:ModNationRacers 118.JPG|Magi-Chan uses his knowledge of modern Internet vernacular for a bit of "ಠ_ಠ", as the kids nowadays call it.
File:ModNation Racers 119.JPG|[[Count Graduon]], demoted from the series's primary villain to a recolored watermelon.
File:ModNation Racers 122.JPG|[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], like Magi-Chan, has a bit of trouble staying straight, when his ass-detection is working too well.
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res vehicle mods|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNation Racers 123.JPG|Built for Zapping to the Extreme®.
File:ModNationRacers 124.JPG|Sonichu's carsona.
File:ModNation Racers 125.JPG|Chris grinning at his mostly orange creation.
File:ModNation Racers 126.JPG|Rosechumobile is very pink, and with a very powerful engine.
File:ModNationRacers 127.JPG|Chris checking out Punchy's car - a thoughtful gesture, considering he'll probably never really use it.
File:ModNation Racers 128.JPG|For clarity, Chris advocates actual tea parties. Not the Tea Party.
File:ModNationRacers 129.JPG|Chris states he's a "tough, hetero man". However, putting "dammit" in the license plate kinda ruins this testosterone-fueled design.
File:ModNation Racers 130.JPG|The cars are truly multi-functional designs; gaudy colors on outside ''and'' inside.
File:ModNation Racers 131.JPG|Solar power and ship's wheel.
File:ModNation Racers 132.JPG|Based on the graduation nightmare.
File:ModNation Racers 136.JPG|Chris is happy because this is a truly [[Son-Chu|familiar design]].
File:ModNation Racers 137.JPG|Completely authentic, all the way to the weird engine noises!
File:TG2.jpg|Cue glam metal background music.
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res race shots|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNation Racers 140.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 141.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 145.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 206.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 207.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 223.JPG
</gallery>}}

==See also==

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==

*[http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu Chris's ModNation profile]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Things Chris has ripped off

2011-06-13T15:03:29Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

'''''Attention! This page is under construction! What you see now is a preview of the things to come. You are free to add anything you think is relevant, it will be taken into consideration when the revamping will be finished. For discussion, critique and more info, please see the [[Talk:Things Chris has ripped off|talk page]]. Thank you.'''''

{{Quote|I take it one moment at a time and let the story pieces come to me. Even if they are sometimes borrowed from a tv show or movie.|Chris, [[Mailbag 4#Admission of plagiarism|blatantly admitting to plagiarism]].}}

[[Image:090-CWComicalHug.jpg|thumb|ORIGINAL!]]
[[Image:191-sealSchu.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST Seal of Originality]]

Studies show that we all sometimes rip off things subconsciously. Chris takes it to the logical extreme.

As every [[Chris-chan]] [[troll|fan]] is probably aware of, our autistic hero has quite the imagination. But some argue that due to [[stress]] and the mental block that is [[autism]], his powerful and mighty artistic ordeals cannot come to fruition. So he just does what every good TV/book/movie writer does: he goes and '''steals an enormous amount of shit''' from other places.

To his credit, plagiarizing isn't easy. After all, how does you grab something that comes from another person's mind, adapt it to your own storyline and make it so that it fits in, without having whatever it is that you stole stand out like an obese retard with a red and blue striped shirt in the middle of a crowd? Being the [[Honor roll|geinus]] comic book creator that he is, he feels that he doesn't need to bother with details such as a good plot, readability, or even consistency. Just stick in a few [[random-access humor|random-access-humor]] jokes and you got yourselves a new installment in the "[[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' Comic Book Series]]." Not resembling ''[[Family Guy]]'' at all, right?

According to Chris, stealing [[copyright]]ed material is fine, as long as you indicate that whatever it is you’re doing is a "[[parody]]" of the original material. In accordance to U.S. copyright law, this is technically true, so this probably means that, unless he decides to make money out of his "artwork," he isn't going to have the law knocking on his door. Besides, we all know he's never going to sell any type of merchandise ever, or even [[Monthly tugboat|make a hard earned buck]] for that matter.

Onward with the list of shit he's stolen:

==Main influences==

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
More information: [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]

*His pride and glory "[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]," which, as we all know, is a recolor of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] with [[Pikachu]]'s tail and ears. In his comic book debut he is created when the "[[Perfect Chaos Monster]]" attacks Station Square, which, by the way, is a direct ripoff of the end of ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''.
*His other pride and glory “[[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]” is just [[Amy Rose]] with a Raichu tail.
*Of course, Sonichu’s evil twin brother [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu, Blachu) also comes from the same line of original creativity Chris has got us accustomed to. This [[niggos|darkie]] version of Sonichu is a complete ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow the Hedgehog]].
*The "[[Chaotic Combo]]" is a mesh of ''Sonic'' characters recolored with retarded deformities, and their name is a copy of the [[Wikipedia:List of Sonic the Hedgehog video game characters#Chaotix|Chaotix]]. Like [[Angelica]] being a white hedgehog that has wings, or [[Punchy Sonichu]] being an Oriental version of [[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles the Echidna]].
*Sonic the Hedgehog, Amy Rose and [[Doctor Robotnik]] make an appearance in [[Sonichu_1|Sonichu Issue #1]]
*The [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] is a rip-off of the master emerald
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] is a recolor of Sonic
*The [[Sonichu Balls]] are essentially just stand-ins for the chaos emeralds
*[[Ultra Sonichu]] is a rip-off of Super Sonic
*The [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]] greatly resemble Chao

===Pokémon===

*Like the previously mentioned Sonichu and Rosechu characters ripping off Sonic the Hedgehog, they also rip off various [[Pokémon]], mostly Pikachu and Raichu, combined with other Pokémon.
*The character [[Jiggliami]] is a humanoid variation of a Jigglypuff.
*The so-called [[Sonichu Balls]] are designed like various Poké Balls, though they also function like other items.
*[[Sonees]] are also slightly edited Pichu, with a bit of [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Chao]] mixed in.
*Moves. As if ripping off their looks weren't enough, Chris also rips off their attacks such as "Thunderbolt" or "Sky Uppercut".
*Many of the cards on Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|Wall of Originals]] are obviously based on character concepts or illustrations from the Pokémon games. (Christian's Maychu, to use one example, imitates the official illustration of the Pokémon Hitmonlee.)

''For more info, see the [[Pokémon#Plagiarism in Sonichu|main article]].''

==Anime==

===''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]''===

{{incomplete}}

*[[Silvana|Silvana's]] origin is very similar to [[Wikipedia:Gatomon|Gatomon]]'s, as both were long separated from their kind and raised by evil villains who made them into their minions. The only difference being that Silvana was given a [[Pickle|penis]].
*[[Ultra Sonichu]]'s Chaotic Remedy is a blatant copy of [[Wikipedia:Patamon#MagnaAngemon|MagnaAngemon's Magna Antidote]] attack.

===[[Wikipedia:Dragon Ball#Anime_series|Dragonball/Z/GT]]===
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]'s famed attack, the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] (later Shin-ye-ha-me-ha), is based on the famed Kamehameha attack.
*The [[Sonichu Balls]], though resembling Poké Balls, seem to function more like the titular Dragonballs, as they are able to grant a wish when all are brought together.
*Ultra Sonichu shares an amazing resemblance to Super Saiyan warriors by flying sky high and kicking ass and all.
*[[Collosal Chan]] is obviously a Super Saiyan 4 from ''Dragonball GT''.
*[[Mypoe]] ripped off [[Punchy]]'s tail because it was a "weak spot"; the same "weak spot" exists for Saiyans (unless said tail has been removed).

===''[[Excel Saga]]''===

*A veritable hellstorm of shameless rips from this series appears in the ''Sonichu'' comics, in a way nearly as pervasive as Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog, yet comparatively subtler because he steals one-liners and monologues more than characters or storylines.
*...although he does indeed steal characters (like Mypoe and Nabeshin and [[Bagget|the Jerkop Daitenzen]]) from time to time.
*It is also possible that Chris stole the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] from the parody "Nabehameha" from ''Excel Saga'' (which was essentially a Kamehameha attack, except shaped like an afro).

''For more info, see the [[Excel Saga#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Wikipedia:Gurren Lagann|''Gurren Lagann'']]===

*The character of [[Simonla Rosechu]] is a ripoff of a "fanmade" Sonichu named [[Simonchu]] who, in turn, is ripped off from the main character of the series, Simon the Digger.
*It should be noted that Chris has probably never seen ''Gurren Lagann'', and as such misinterpreted several aspects of Simonchu's design that were intended to be referential to Simon: his cape became Simonla's shell, and his Core Drill pendant became a shark's tooth necklace.
*When Chris was forced to kill off Simonla in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he promptly created [[Sandy Rosechu]], Simonla's daughter. She is essentially exactly the same design-wise, except she is yellow and has a different hairstyle.

===[[Wikipedia:InuYasha|''InuYasha'']]===
*In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], [[Saramah Rosechu]] pins [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] to a tree, Wes making the statement "Where did this non-sacred tree come from?" This is a "hilarious gag" referring to InuYasha's origin story, wherein he was pinned by an arrow to a cursed tree by priestess/crack shot/vengeful ex-girlfriend [[Wikipedia:List of InuYasha characters#Kikyo|Kikyo]]. Also, with some imagination and enough [[alcohol]], one can see that a cloud in the background in one of the panels is shaped vaguely like InuYasha's head.
*Chris also has a [[Marvey Blaziken|Blaziken]] in his Pokémon team named "Inu Yasha", which was only revealed on the [[CWCipedia]]. It's likely that this is the same Blaziken seen training with Simonla in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], though he is not identified by name in that comic.

===[[Wikipedia:Pretty Cure|''Pretty Cure'']]===

{{quote|"This is so "Pretty Cure"! I'M BACK!"|[[Chris-chan Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]}}

*''Pretty Cure'', unlike [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], is a true [[parody]] that purposefully spoofs the ridiculous costumes, magical schoolgirls, and attack names of other anime series. The [[Chrs-Chan_Pure_Pulse-Jolt_Lance|Chrs-Chan [sic] Pure Pulse Jolt Lance]] (the attack that [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] are able to perform with their combined Hedgehog powers) is stolen from this series, and even though its original counterpart was given a ridiculous name, Chris felt the need to make it sound like some idiot had just mashed some random words into an attack name for his own version. ''Oh wait...''

*Also noteworthy is that Chris copied (and butchered) the pre-attack catch phases and attack poses. Most of these rip-offs occur in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] and [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]].

===''[[Sailor Moon]]''===
*[[Sailor Megtune]], Chris's hideously inappropriate SI Mary Sue for [[Megan]], is based off the various heroines from the series, though the name is based on [[Wikipedia:Sailor Neptune|Sailor Neptune]].
*The [[Dark Mirror Hole]] may be a reference to a number of related ''Sailor Moon'' places/items, including the Black Dream Hole of [[Wikipedia:Sailor Moon Super S: The Movie|''Sailor Moon Super S: The Movie'']], and a mirror-like item from a few episodes of ''Sailor Moon Super Stars'' and the majority of ''Sailor Moon Super S''.
''For more info, see the [[Sailor Moon#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===''[[Wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]===

*In the aforementioned [[random-access humor]] [[ED]] edit, Chris quoted a joke from the US-dubbed version of SPC: "Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED".
*He created the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], which is a ripoff of both ''Samurai Pizza Cats'' and [[Transformers]]. They make several appearances in the comic to help [[Sonichu]] battle the [[Jerkops]].
*[[Punchy Sonichu]], provider of [[Random-access humor]], has referenced this series a few times.

===''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]''===

*[[Sarah Hammer]]'s husband-to-be is depicted as [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Jack's_Knight Jack's Knight], a ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' monster, because Chris had no idea what the groom looked like and didn't bother to check. Way to go!
*Chris tends to use various ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' terms during his battles ("Trap cards"? Seriously?) and is even depicted using a Duel Disk when dealing with [[Wes Iseli]].
''For more info, see the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Wikipedia:YuYu Hakusho|''YuYu Hakusho'']]===

*In [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]], Chris mentions the use of a "Curse Shot", fired in the same way main character [[Wikipedia:List_of_YuYu_Hakusho_characters#Yusuke_Urameshi|Yusuke Urameshi]] would fire his main attack, the Reigun.

===[[Wikipedia:Macross Frontier|''Macross Frontier'']]===

*Chris's infamous drawing of [[Jiggliami]] was copied from a picture by [[Blanca]], who copied the pose from a popular picture of Ranka Lee, one of the major characters of the series.

==Western animation==

===''[[The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]''===

*Chris ripped many concepts for his [[Love Quest]] and lines from that movie are used in the comics ("I will, thank you father" from the cover of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] is a line uttered by Robert Rabbit).
''For more info, see the [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|''American Dad!'']]===
*Chris has referred to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] as "the Dork of Ages," a phrase taken from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Wagons|Dungeons and Wagons]]."

===''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''===

*The ''ATHF'' characters appear in one panel in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], along with Meatwad's old catchphrase, "The bun is in your mind."
*Chris (badly) painted one of his Guitar Hero guitars to look like Meatwad's toy guitar.
''For more info, see the [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===''[[Beavis and Butt-head]]''===
*Beavis and Butt-head appear in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] in a gag directly stolen from the original cartoon series (although Chris [[Chris and copyright|said "Sorry"]] to Mike Judge).
''For more info, see the [[Beavis and Butt-head#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck|''Darkwing Duck'']]===

*[[Darkbind Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of this series' main character – Darkwing Duck.
*The font Chris uses to write "Darkbind" is traced from the show's logo.
*Upon arriving, Darkbind recites a completely bastardized version of Darkwing Duck's trademark entrance speeches. The main change is that the original speeches were filled with tongue-in-cheek irony, while Chris's version is completely serious and unnecessarily pompous.
*Chris calls Darkbind "D.B.", reminiscent of how Darkwing Duck's sidekick Launchpad McQuack calls him "D.W."
*[[Princess Zelina Rosechu]] may be a partial ripoff of Darkwing Duck's girlfriend Morgana McCawber (though this theory is debatable).

===''[[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd and Eddy|Ed, Edd and Eddy]]''===

*In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris added a huge wall of [[Random-access humor]], including a joke from the episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]: "Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?", originally said by Ed.
*In the video [[CWCFlyingElephants|"CWC's Flying Elephants"]], Chris bashes his head on his bed like a [[retard]], and quotes another line from Ed: "I'm a woodpecker! Except with dirt!"

===''[[Family Guy]]''===

*In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Chris meets [[Sammy]], who resembles Peter Griffin, who goes through a series of incidents involving a sequence from Filmation's [[Ghostbusters]].
*In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris directly lifts a gag in which a news anchor delivers a serious professional story, then immediately jumps to excited coverage of Spring Break.
*The title of his bizarre rap video, "[[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|iPods Down and Listen Up]]," was lifted from the "[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears|Prick Up Your Ears]]" episode, in which the reverend teaching the high school about abstinence starts his performance by telling the kids, "Put your Walkmans down and listen up."
*At the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Marvey Blaziken tells the reader that "inspiration does not have a schedule." On Family Guy, this exact phrase was spoken by New Brian during the episode "[[Wikipedia:The Man with Two Brians|The Man with Two Brians]]" before he proceeds to sing about [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting]]. Naturally, the phrase referred to New Brian fitting in writing a song (about farting) into his already-busy schedule of helping out the family.
*In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], one of the baby Rosechus is playing the Virgin Mary in a school play, she says "I'm the Virgin Mary, that's my story and I'm sticking to it." This is said by Joe's wife, Bonnie in "[[Wikipedia:A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas|A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas]]", where she is doing the exact same thing. Of course, the line isn't as disturbing when she says it, considering she's an adult woman, whereas the hellspawn in question is ''three years old''.
''For more info, see the [[Family Guy#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Wikipedia:Futurama|''Futurama'']]===

*The time-travel plot of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] ("Time Hogs") was stolen from the direct-to-DVD movie ''[[Wikipedia:Futurama: Bender's Big Score|Futurama: Bender's Big Score]]'', and this is shamelessly lampshaded by the recolors in the beginning of the episode.

===''[[Ghostbusters]]''===

*Chris's ''Family Guy''-style "skitch" rips off the FALSE and DISHONEST ''Ghostbusters'' created by [[Wikipedia:Filmation|Filmation]].
''For more info, see the [[Ghostbusters#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Wikipedia:He-Man and the Masters of the Universe|''He-Man and the Masters of the Universe'']]===

*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: [[Beel]] exclaims: "I have the power!" after stealing Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]].

===[[Wikipedia:HiHi Puffy AmiYumi|''HiHi Puffy AmiYumi'']]===

*[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] has Wes refer to Chris's cards as "Stu-Pi-Doh magic". Stu-Pi-Doh was an in-universe [[Parody]] of Yu-Gi-Oh.

===[[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']]===

*[[Officer Keino]]'s appearance is ripped straight from Coach John McGuirk.
*The end of the [[Giant Penis Comic]] special contains gags from the show.

===''[[Wikipedia:Inspector Gadget|Inspector Gadget]]''===

*[[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s nemesis, [[Clawdorf]], is (possibly) based on Inspector Gadget's nemesis Dr. Claw, who was also most of the time seen as a dark silhouette. If it's true, it is especially strange, as Darkbind is based on ''Darkwing Duck'' and the ''Legend of Zelda'', not ''Inspector Gadget''.

===''[[Wikipedia:Johnny Bravo|Johnny Bravo]]''===

''Johnny Bravo'' is a show about a dude trying to find a chick to get laid with. Though Johnny continuously fails to do this, he shows a lot more competence than Chris when it comes to dating.

* [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] has a line from the Scooby-Doo crossover ripped out entirely, regarding Applecore. Per usual, Chris [[Random-access_humor|fails to use the context that made the joke funny in the first place]].

===''[[Wikipedia:Muppet Babies|Muppet Babies]]''===

*In [[SonichuBabies|one video]], Chris made a mind-numbing 12-minute video of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[sonee and rosey|sonees and roseys]], though his video lost the major charms the series actually had.

===''[[Wikipedia:Peanuts|Peanuts]]''===
[[Image:119-PeanutsCWC.jpg|thumb|right|Good grief!]]
* Chris uploaded [[RandomHumor1]] to his [[Flipnote Hatena]] account. Complete with horrendous drawings and obnoxious high-pitched voices, the animation plagiarizes the Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show episode [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHDnc19mHv0/ "Sally at School"] word for word.
* He also mentioned Charlie Brown in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], but only to distinguish what kind of peanuts he was talking about.

===''[[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|The Powerpuff Girls]]''===
*The other half of [[Blake]]'s origin was stolen from The Powerpuff Girls, as an accidental dose of a foreign chemical gives him his evilness and his [[Niggos|blackness]], just as an accidental dose of "Chemical X" gave the Powerpuff Girls their powers. This is lampshaded poorly on the cover to Black Sonichu's introductory issue, [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], where [[Sonic]] suggests that Chemical "X" could have caused the change, but [[Sonichu]] corrects him: It was cherry cola.

===''[[Wikipedia:The Ren & Stimpy Show|The Ren & Stimpy Show]]''===

*[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]'s Sub-Episode 6, "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari", rips off the ''Ren & Stimpy'' episode "Lair of the Lummox," which Chris even acknowledges (with Ren & Stimpy thinly veiled as "[[Chris_and_copyright|Ben & Stumpy]].")
*At the end of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]'s Episode 17, there is an advert for "Knothole", boasted as being from the creators of "Log" - Ren and Stimpy sang a song "advertising" logs.<ref>[http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/r/renandstimpy8231/log286629.html]</ref>

===''[[Wikipedia:Sealab 2021|''Sealab 2021'']]===

*In the same [[ED]] edit, Chris included a joke from the ''Sealab 2021'' episode "Legend of Baggy Pants": "What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they need a dentist."

===[[Wikipedia:The Smurfs|''The Smurfs'']]===

*[[Wild Sonichu]] seems to be "inspired" by the character of [http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Wild_Smurf Wild Smurf]. Both live in treehouses. Both swing from vines (although Wild Sonichu's vines swinging comes from ripping off Spider-Man). Both were raised by wild animals. Honestly, the only difference between the two is that Wild Sonichu can actually talk (Wild Smurf communicated in chipmunk sounds more than anything else).

===''[[South Park]]''===

*[[CADD Chef]] is an obvious ripoff of the [[niggo]] [[Wikipedia:Chef (South Park)|Jerome "Chef" McElroy]].
*[[Beel]] has a strong resemblance to ''South Park'''s [[Wikipedia:List of supporting characters on South Park#Satan|Satan]].
''For more info, see the [[South Park#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===''[[Wikipedia:Space Ghost Coast to Coast|Space Ghost Coast to Coast]]''===

*The chant uttered by the guardian of the cave in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]],"Anoz aelc amulp oerc ikabmol ah ah!", is one of Zorak's chants ("Lombaki Creo Plomo Pleo Zoma Ah Ah!") spelled backwards and mangled. Chris's original attempts to do spells or chants have [[fail]]ed spectacularly, so the stolen chant is one of his better ones.

===[[Wikipedia:The Brak Show|''The Brak Show'']]===

*In the oft-mentioned [[Random-access_humor#Random_ramblings|ED edit]], Chris included three lines from [[Adult_Swim|''The Brak Show'']], all of them from the same episode ("The New Brak"). The episode centers on [[Liquid_Chris|Brak]] dealing with an [[Christian_Weston_Chandler|annoying impostor]] who shamelessly copies everything Brak does - [[Liquid_Chris#Liquid_Saga|sound familiar]]?

===''[[Transformers]]''===

*[[Optimus Prime]] mercilessly killing Decepticon spy [[Sarah Jackson]].
*Various Transformer-types appear in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].
''For more info, see the [[Transformers#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Adult Swim|''Tom Goes To The Mayor'']]===

*Placing the [[Mayor's Office]] inside the mall is either a reference to this or Chris having terrible priorities.

==Live action==

===''[[Gilligan's Island]]''===

*Thurston Howell, III and his wife Lovey make an appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], hinting at the name of the head of [[4-cent_garbage.com]], the infamous [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].
{{incomplete}}

===''[[Monty Python]]''===

{{incomplete}}

*When [[Darkbind Sonichu]] is fighting the [[B-Manajerk]], a word-for-word copy of the "Black Knight" sketch from [[Wikipedia:Monty Python and the Holy Grail|''Monty Python and the Holy Grail'']] is spoken.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Need I say more?
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: An impromptu "comedic" sequence making "fun" of [[Jimmy Hill]] starts with "And now for something completely different...", contains a collage of photos and drawings reminiscent of Terry Gilliam's artistic experiments, and features a porcupine shouting: "Dinsdale!"

''For more info, see the [[Monty Python#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===''[[Wikipedia:Spaceballs|''Spaceballs'']]===

*In the [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] fight between [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Chris-Chan Sonichu gets his tail singed by a fire blast then exclaims, "You burned my tail! Now it's personal!" before going on the offensive. This is very similar to the scene in ''Spaceballs'' where gun-hating Princess Vespa gets her hair singed by a laser in a firefight and exclaims, "You shot my hair! You son of a bitch!" then proceeds to singlehandedly mow down the attacking Spaceballs with a laser rifle.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYgQXWxJfZE#t=7m44s (''Relevant portion from 7:44 to 8:01'')</ref> While the words aren't identical, he reads the lines with the same cadence and inflection as Vespa's in his [[Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_8|Official Videobook]] clip.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42EOCbTSJOI#t=8m06s (''Relevant portion from 8:06 to 8:12'')</ref>

===''[[Wikipedia:Carrie (film)|Carrie]]''===

*Chris's "[[The High School Story]]" is an amalgamation of Stephen King's ''Carrie'', and Chris's own [[high school]] experience. Its main character, Terrah, is bullied and underappreciated, so she murders everyone with her psychic powers. It is safe to assume that Chris saw the movie adaptation of ''Carrie'', and not the book, as it is unimaginable that Chris would ever spend his time on a book without illustrations.

===''[[Wikipedia:Power Rangers|Power Rangers]]''===

*In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the CWC-Power Rangers are introduced, but never seen with the sole exception of Kart Megazord.
*[[Silvana]]'s basic existence, back story, and partial appearance are the copied directly from a villain ([[wikipedia:Villains_in_Power_Rangers_in_Space#Astronema|Astronema]]), from ''[[wikipedia:Power_Rangers_in_Space|Power Rangers in Space]]''
*In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris introduces a terrible new song entitled "[[Revive Zordon]]", which displays his wish for the return of the "original" Power Rangers team.

===''[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III]]''===

*In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], [[Sonic]] is quoted saying "Eh... you were expecting maybe, Bugs Bunny?" a direct 'reference' to a line said by one of the non-yawning Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the third movie. The original line was "Eh... you were expecting maybe, The Addams Family?" It is ironic in this case that of all the lines Chris-Chan could have possibly chosen from the movie, he went ahead to choose one of the most awful, face-palming, gut-wrenchingly bad lines (only second to the even worse line "Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up!"), and proceeded to MAKE IT WORSE. Congratulations.

===[[Wikipedia:Saw (franchise)|''Saw'' series]]===

*Louis Perez, appearing in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]], could be named after the character from the Saw franchise (possibly a relative, as Lindsey Perez from the movies is female). Chris has previously stated that the ''Saw'' series is one of his favorite movie franchises.<ref>[[Common_Questions#31_December_2009]]</ref> Both characters are [[niggos|black]] policemen, making the "inspiration" much more likely.
*The execution of the [[Asperpedia]] crew in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] is performed through what equates to elaborate death traps, similar to what is seen in the ''Saw'' series. They certainly have more in common with those movies than with anything resembling actual state-sponsored executions.

===''[[Wikipedia:Independence Day (film)|Independence Day]]''===

*In the [[Christian Love Day video]], he recited a modified version of the speech that President Thomas J. Whitmore makes before making a last stand against the aliens, which shows just how ridiculously corny he can get.

===[[Wikipedia:Lewis Black's Root of All Evil|''Lewis Black's Root of All Evil'']]===

*This Comedy Central show featuring Lewis Black as a judge was ripped off in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where the judge at the trial, named "Slack Lewis," greatly resembles Black.

===''[[The Simpsons]]''===

*The parts of [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s design that were not already cannibalized from [[Simonla]] were copied from [[Wikipedia:Lisa Simpson|Lisa Simpson]].

===''[[Wikipedia:Lethal Weapon 2|Lethal Weapon 2]]''===

*The exploding-toilet death of [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]] was ripped off from the near-death of [[Wikipedia:Roger Murtaugh|Roger Murtaugh]] by exploding toilet in ''Lethal Weapon 2''.

===''[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Star Wars]]''===

*While he hasn't ripped it off directly (yet), he once told [[Jackie]] in [[Jackie e-mails|their e-mail exchanges]] that he essentially planned to make the backstory of [[Wild Sonichu]] a rip-off of the relationship between [[Wikipedia:Luke Skywalker|Luke Skywalker]] and [[Wikipedia:Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] (Vader being Luke's father turned evil, for the few of you living in caves).

===[[Wikipedia:This Is Spinal Tap|''This Is Spinal Tap'']]===

*During the "[[Revive Zordon]]" performance, the speaker blurts out that the volume is "Cranked up to Eleven." We can only hope that Chris ripped this joke off directly rather than referencing something else referencing ''Spinal Tap''.

===''[[Wikipedia:Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Terminator 2: Judgment Day]]''===
*Chris's [[Sonichu Special 4|threat on the life of]] [[Liquid Chris]] contains a number of elements from the film:
**The top speed of 65 mph during the escape scene
**The Terminator shooting an enemy in the legs, saying "He'll live."

==Videogames==

===''[[Wikipedia:Banjo-Kazooie (series)|Banjo-Kazooie]]''===

*[[Flame the Sunbird]] is just a very poor drawing of [[Wikipedia:Banjo-Kazooie (series)|Kazooie]], who seems to want pants [[Pok%C3%A9mon#Plagiarism_in_Sonichu|for reasons one can only guess]]. Anyone who enjoyed this game can only thank [[Godjesus]] that Chris doesn't seem to realize that Kazooie is a [[China|girl]].
*In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Sonichu]]'s battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] is ripped directly from the final boss fight with Gruntilda. The only differences are that the fireballs are replaced with dark energy and Mary does not fall to her death.

===[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda|''The Legend of Zelda'']]===

{{incomplete}}

*The characters [[Darkbind Sonichu]] and [[Zelina Rosechu]] are rip-offs of [[Wikipedia:Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link]] and [[Wikipedia:Princess Zelda|Zelda]] respectively, the two main characters from the series, alongside being rip-offs of elements from the cartoon series ''Darkwing Duck'', strangely enough.
*The entire subplot about Darkbind and Zelina (involving Zelina being put under a sleeping spell by an [[Clawdorf|evil wizard]]) is taken nearly verbatim from the story of ''[[Wikipedia:Zelda II: The Adventure of Link|Zelda II: The Adventure of Link]]'' (where the Link from the first game must awaken the original Zelda from a sleeping spell put on her by - you guessed it, an evil wizard).
*The name "[[RuleCWC]]" is a ripoff of Hyrule.
*In the [[Wallflower E-mails 2|Wallflower E-mails]], Chris claims that Darkbind Sonichu was trained in RuleCWC forest by a "rogue master swordsman" and an owl named King Alistair. These are obvious ripoffs of [[Wikipedia:Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link]] and [[Wikipedia:Characters_in_The_Legend_of_Zelda_series#Kaepora_Gaebora|Kaepora Gaebora]].

===[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|''Mobile Suit Gundam'']]===

*During the [[Megan]] Saga, Chris drew box art for ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'', one of Chris's many fakebox arts for his imaginary games. What's unique about this one is that it involves Megan Schroeder and her brother John. Despite being about Megan, it is not a [[rape]] simulator, but instead believed to be a ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo|''Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'']].

===[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|''Street Fighter'']]===

*In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Sonichu]] performs a Flash Kick on [[Slaweel]].
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'s attack "Hyper Beam" looks a lot like one of [[Wikipedia:Ryu (Street Fighter)|Ryu]]'s super combos, the "Shinku Hadouken". It appears in [[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]].
*In [[Sonichu Special 4]], [[Kacey]]'s father resembles [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]].

===[[Wikipedia:Mario (series)|''Mario'' series]]===

{{incomplete}}

''Mario'' is a video game series conceived by [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], and has been the mascot of [[Nintendo]] for decades. While [[Sonic]] has fallen into a self-induced pit of horrifying shit, probably never to escape, Mario has stayed consistently good for all this time. Despite this, Chris very much favors Sonic, as he only has a passing interest in Mario. However, he has enough interest to rip it off from time to time.

*The Wing Cap ability from [[Wikipedia:Super Mario 64|''Super Mario 64'']] is ripped off in [[Sonichu 3|Sub-Episode 4]], where Chris flies around with wings on his head. They are later discarded, and Chris is strangely shown flying without them.
*His concept for ''Sonic The Hedgehog 64'', as expressed in his [[Hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine]], is nothing more than ''Super Mario 64'' with [[Sonic]] and [[Tails]]. Literally.

===[[Wikipedia:Brutal Legend|''Brutal Legend'']]===

*In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], during the introduction of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], [[Armoraxe]] uses a move that looks and acts exactly like the Solo "[[nudes|Face Melter]]" from the game. The only difference is that the move is called "Metal Melter."
*The devil [[trolls]] that appear to carry [[CChanSonichuCWC|IBAChandler]] away after he is defeated by [[Sonichu]] seem to be a rip-off of the fans that appear to carry you off when you are defeated during a stage battle in Brutal Legend. This is confirmed by the [[chris|retarded]] phrase written next to the same panel in the comic, "Hmm, What 'Legend' brought these [[fanbase|fans]]?"
*In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris using the power of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|music]] and [[son-chu|stage]] to destroy the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building may have been inspired by ''Brutal Legend'''s Stage Battles. Son-Chu ''does'' turns into a giant stage which resembles Ironheade's megastage, but rather than offer a fair fight Chris just Guitar Heroes his opponents into oblivion instantly.
*[[Simonla]] gives [[Wild Sonichu]] her lucky shark's tooth necklace, similar to when Eddie Riggs gives Ophelia his mother's shark tooth-like necklace in ''Brutal Legend''.

===[[Wikipedia:God of War (video game)|''God of War'']]===

*[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. [[Collosal Chan]] pulls out lightning bolt versions of Kratos's Blades to fight [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel]].

===''[[Wikipedia:PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa the Rapper]]''===

*In preparation for the "[[Revive Zordon]]" performance, [[Sonichu]] puts on PaRappa's hat and becomes as flat and two-dimensional as PaRappa (not to mention his own character), then says PaRappa's catchphrase "I gotta believe!"

===''[[Wikipedia:Monster Rancher|Monster Rancher]]''===

*In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], the giant golem that [[Mary Lee Walsh|''Mary Lee Walsh'']] is riding strongly resembles the Golem monster in its design from the first two games in the Monster Rancher series.

==Web original==
===Jessi Slaughter===
*In [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]], Chris says "The consequences will never be the same," mimicking the famous line "Consequences will never be the same!" from a [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Jessi_Slaughter Jessi Slaughter] video. It was later found that Chris was simply repeating something Jackie told him to say, and has likely never seen nor heard of the video in question.

==Western comics==

===''[[Wikipedia:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]]''===

*[[Wild Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of Spider-Man, a superhero who can shoot long web strings from his hands. He uses these web ropes to swing across the city and entangle his enemies. Also, the scene in the end of Episode 19 ([[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]) is highly reminiscent of the ''Spider-Man'' movie. Similarly, Wild can also climb walls with relative ease, though it's not clear whether he's just a good climber or if he literally clings to walls, as Spider-Man does.
*In [[Sonichu 5]], Chris claims that his "sixth sense is tingling", blantantly knocking off of Spider-Man's catch phrase.

===[[Wikipedia:Hulk (comics)|The Incredible Hulk]]===

*[[Rosechu]]'s bat-shit insane rapist form, now known as [[the Incredible Lioness]], is based off of the Incredible Hulk. While Rosechu didn't turn green (and seeing as she's an [[wikipedia:Abomination_(comics)|abomination]] already, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that she's already bathed in gamma radiation), she gets pissed off when [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] launches a [[pickle]] at her and she tears him a new one.

==Songs==

{{incomplete}}

*Everything from the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums is sung over another song; this may be Chris's biggest showing of plagiarism yet, aside from [[Sonichu (comic)|his own comic]].
*[[Jiggliami]]'s song, "War of Love," is a ripoff of "Love Is War," a [[Wikipedia:Supercell|Supercell]] song using [[Wikipedia:Vocaloid|Miku Hatsune]] for vocals. While Blanca wrote the ripoff, Chris was more than willing to use it in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Tommy Tutone|Tommy Tutone]]===

*The product number for [[John's Custom Gundam]] is [[Wikipedia:867-5309/Jenny|8675309]].

==Commercials==

===[[Wikipedia: GEICO|GEICO]]===

*In [[Sonichu 1]], Chris interrupts Rosechu and Amy Rose's vapid girl talk because "[he'd] like to save time...and money on my [[Son-Chu|car]] insurance by switching over to 'Get-Co!'"

==List of fiction Chris has referenced and otherwise bastardized==

While Chris's [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] is chock-full of shameless ripoffs and copyright infringements, there are some references to works of fiction which can't be actually considered "ripping off," but manage to ruin the franchise in question nevertheless, for the sole fact of being referenced in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']]. These are mostly instances of Chris either including a minor reference to a work of fiction, or just mentioning it, in his comics. While it's not considered a crime ''de jure'', it still may be called a crime against humanity, whose culture Chris has thus bastardized.

''Note that when such minor references concern works or franchises already listed in the main ripoff list above, they're added there, not here. It was done so that it would be easier to see how much has Chris managed to bastardize each franchise.''

*'''[[Wikipedia:Batman|Batman]]:''' [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|S8 Ep17 p.35]]: Batman's portrait is hanging on the wall of the [[CWCville Mayoral Office]] for some completely mysterious reason.
*'''[[Bugs Bunny]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 1#Episode 6|''Sonichu'' #1]]: [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] says to the startled [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr.Robotnik]]: "Eh... You were expecting, maybe Bugs Bunny?"
:*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: Bugs himself appears in the ''[[Monty Python]]''-esque collage, lecturing the toothless photograph of [[Jimmy Hill]] (who was implied to have sold counterfeit Warner Bros. merchandise in the past) on the evils of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]].
*'''[[Wikipedia:Dig Dug|Dig Dug]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|''Sonichu'' #9]]: [[Simonla]]'s screen name is "DigDugette416".
:*Later, on [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Layla]] jokes that Simonla only needs a pump to "fully dig the dug," whatever that means.
*'''[[Wikipedia:Fight Club (film)|''Fight Club'']] and [[Wikipedia:Chuck Palahniuk|Chuck Palahniuk]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|''Sonichu'' #1]]: [[Hanna]] tells Chris that she likes reading books by "Chuck Pala[[duck]]" [sic], who is also (according to Chris's footnote) "[[Fail|the director]] of the movie "Fight Club" (well, maybe he believes that [[Wikipedia:David Fincher|David Fincher]] is just Chuck's alternate personality?)... Yes, "Chuck Pala'''[[duck]]'''".
:*If Chris has actually seen the movie, it may be the influence behind [[30 August 2009|"Christopher"]].
*'''[[Wikipedia:Grand Theft Auto|''Grand Theft Auto'']]:''' [[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] orders: "[[Beel]]! Prepare for Grand Theft [[Medallion of Fail|Medal]]!"
*'''''[[Guitar Hero]]'':'''
{{incomplete}}
*'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'':''' [[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: For no reason at all, Sackboy appears at the bottom of the page and recites an anti-pirate advertisement for "LittleBigPlanet" and Chris's [[LittleBigPlanet videos#Sonichu Episode 1 LittleBIGPlanet Level|Level of Fail]].
*'''[[R.L. Stine]]:'''
{{incomplete}}
*'''''[[Sprung]]'':''' [[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|''Sonichu'' #1]]: Chris is shown playing ''Sprung'' on his [[Nintendo]] DS for dating tips before going on a date with [[Hanna]]. He reads the infamous "So, do angels have names?" compliment and notes that it "sounds right."
*'''[[wikipedia:Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde|''Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde'':]]''' [[Magical Man Potion]]: Chris drinks a [[Semen|magical concoction]] and transforms into an entirely different [[troll|being]], before reverting to his own self. Due to the fact that the transformation is "from [[Chris|bumbling]] to [[Liquid Chris|suave]]" rather than "from [[Chris and religion|moral]] to [[Death threats|cruel]]", as well as the extreme unlikelihood of him knowing classical Scottish literature, he probably stole the concept from [[wikipedia:The Nutty Professor|The Nutty Professor]], a derivative work of Jekyll and Hyde.
*'''[[Wikipedia:B-Daman|B-Daman]]:''' [[Sonichu 1#Episode6|''Sonichu'' #1]]: Sonic curls up into a ball and enters a pocket of whatever in Sonichu's stomach, upon which Sonichu fires him out at Metal Sonichu which also is the form of a ball. At first, this looks like a reference to balls, but upon closer inspection, it seems to be a ripoff of the Japanese Anime and Toy series B-Daman, which involves small cute robot-like characters firing balls out of their stomachs at other balls.
*'''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|''Star Trek'']]:''' Both within the comics and in his real life presentations, he uses the phrase "[[Captain's Log]]" a reference to the opening of most ''Star Trek'' episodes and movies. He's never seen anything of the franchise, not even the new movie most likely, but he felt the need to rip it off anyway. That's Chris for you.
*'''[[Wikipedia:Happy Tree Friends|''Happy Tree Friends'']]''' In Sonichu 10, Chris mentions the 'Happy Tree Friends-esque' deaths of the Chaotic Combo in Asperchu, implying that he's seen the show a few times.

==The tl;dr Version==

At this point, it's almost easier to list the beloved franchises Chris ''hasn't'' ruined.

==References==
<references />

==See also:==

*[[Chris and copyright]]
*[[List of phrases Chris copied from media]]

[[Category:Articles needing improvement]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

File talk:Would you mount and do me.jpg

2011-05-05T21:40:27Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: Created page with "== Chris's art style is just impossible to imitate == Chris would never draw such round circles and curves! Remove the shitty coloring, and it looks decent. --~~~~"

== Chris's art style is just impossible to imitate ==
Chris would never draw such round circles and curves! Remove the shitty coloring, and it looks decent.
--[[User:AlfredNTheFettuc|AlfredNTheFettuc]] 14:40, 5 May 2011 (PDT)

Reginald Sneasel

2011-01-08T19:57:44Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

[[Image:CWCsSneasel.jpg|thumb|Reginald Sneasel.]]
[[Image:215Sneasel.png|thumb|An actual Sneasel.]]

'''Reginald''' is a [[Pokémon|Sneasel]] who wears a headband (similar to the one worn by [[Wikipedia:Ryu (Street Fighter)|Ryu]] of the [[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|''Street Fighter'']] series) and [[homos|cutoff jeans]]. He only barely resembles a Sneasel, as his [[Chris and art|coloring and body shape are completely off]], but at least he looks vaguely similar to what he was allegedly ripped off from (unlike [[Layla Flaaffy]], who isn't even close). Despite being a Pokemon, he can speak just fine (perhaps just how Sonichu collided with Sonic, Reginald collided with Ryu or something). He is not only an excuse for Chris to remove [[Punchy]] from being paired up with [[Angelica]], but he's also an excuse to draw himself back into the comic while stuck in the [[Time Void]]: look carefully at [[Heterochromia|the color of those eyes]]. His inclusion is highly confusing as he is introduced shortly after [[Simonla]] announces she wants to name her hypothetical son "Reginald".

== In the comic ==
Reginald is a Sneasel who makes his first [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] appearance in [[Sonichu_9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|episode 19]]. Reginald is in love with [[Layla]] and tries to steal her from [[Punchy]] with a [[lie|cunning plan]]. Unfortunately, Layla and Punchy still manage to hook up despite Reginald cutting the keyboard cord on the computer.

While Reginald is feeling sorry for himself outside, he is approached by [[Angelica]], who flirts with him. As a result, Reginald manages to summon up the courage to ask her out. To her everlasting shame, she says yes. In [[Episode 20]], he is seen in bed with Angelica, proving that even after being raised by nuns, she, like all of the other [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]], is a total slut. Unlike the other Rosechus, however, she will die for her sins. [[Chris and religion|She's Christian, after all.]]

In the first draft of [[Episode 19]], Reginald is shown to be [[Christian Weston Chandler|28 years old]]. In the final version of the comic though, Chris de-ages him by ten years, thus making Reginald 18, the same age as [[Layla Flaaffy]]. Chris most likely made this change so Reginald wouldn't seem like such an obvious avatar for him. However, it's also likely that this was done so Chris wouldn't look like a [[pedofork]].

== As a Mary Sue==
While Chris is stuck in the [[Time Void]], Reginald is essentially the replacement Chris. Sad, pathetic, lonely, (but not in his late twenties) Reginald attempts to sabotage Punchy's burgeoning relationship with [[Layla]] out of jealousy. Like Chris, he fails. Unlike Chris, however, Reginald somehow manages to find a [[Angelica|boyfriend-free girl]] willing to look past the layers of self-loathing to his shallow, childish core. Of note is that Angelica finds Reginald "[[honest]]" and "sweet", and that ''she'' approached ''him''. Also note, his entire existence up to that point involved him obsessing over another girl, spreading false rumors about his desired paramour to try and dissuade his rival, and actively trying to sabotage his rival's attempts.

Angelica and Reginald's pairing is essentially how Chris would like his first relationship to start. Chris wants a girl to be attracted to his honesty and [[Attraction Sign|approach him]] so that he doesn't have to do any of the legwork on his own.

Chris also seems to have some peculiar attachment to the name "Reginald." Aside from Sneasel, it's the given name of Chris's imaginary future son, as well as that of the imaginary future son of [[Simonla Rosechu]]. [[Common Questions#15 January 2010|When asked about this]], Chris explains that a woman (most likely [[PandaHalo]]) suggested the name for the previously-mentioned imaginary son of Chris, which probably kicked off this obsession.

Reginald has not reappeared in any significant way in Chris's comics since Chris emerged from the [[Time Void]]. However, Sneasel's fumbling stupidity has perversely made him a favorite with trolls, and he played a key role in the FALSE and DISHONEST episodes of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]

Autism

2011-01-07T20:32:11Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Chris's symptoms */ No longer.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|2cpyKTun5iU}}
</center>

{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]]. Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin Falling Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; i.e., high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, fluent speech, and about-average intellect. This lets Chris have it both ways: you can't blame him for his failures because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's retarded because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, even the most casual of observers would conclude that Chris is basically non-functioning.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]]. The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-nazi he is.

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.{{cite}} Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never had a real girlfriend, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semiregular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite all this, though, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]], yet he has failed to do anything with his life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "God put the mute button on me." Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far, far more likely that one or both of Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is not currently clear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrating Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_white_woman_syndrome "Missing White Woman Syndrome"], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|left|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not Ian Brandon Anderson and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.
**In the [[Jackie E-mails 23|final exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to Jackie's frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by telling her she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; While he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor Roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not lying off his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a geniunely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|the disorder did not even exist before he was born]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he opined that our society is spending so much time on the internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with no social contact should not attempt social commentary. Well, that and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. More recently he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents (Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived) are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref>

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In more recent years (specifically, during [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered on Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed urban myth alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up - in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a superior tier of social retardation.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is [[List of Chris's lies|the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.]]

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows onto hell" and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

ShecameforCWC.JPG

2011-01-06T21:11:24Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Analysis */ That's not what "irony" means.

{{quote|And by the way, that is not [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] whose eyes are censored; that is [[Megan]]!|Chris, [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]}}

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|"Your sister has cum for me"]]

'''ShecameforCWC.JPG''' is some [[Rule 34]] that [[Chris]] drew as part of a campaign to fight the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] by "replacing negativity with positivity."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> Arguably the most controversial of all of Chris's artistic canon, this single image managed to invoke so much drama it ruined the closest relationship with a human being he has ever had - his friendship with [[Megan Schroeder]].

At first, people believed the picture to be of his imaginary twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]], until Chris edited the article to confirm that it was in fact Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref> He also angrily decried these scurrilous rumors in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|an Internet video]], shouting that it was Megan. While this is less disturbing than Chris wanting to have an incestuous relation his own fictitious twin sister, it is notably creepy that it is of his only friend with whom he had no romantic or sexual relationship.

==Background==

When Chris first discovered the [[ED]] page, he was disturbed by the number of [[pickles]] on the site. Using his powers of [[autistic]] logic, Chris decided that the best response would be to replace these images with images of things that Chris likes, hence "replacing negativity with positivity."

On 11 November [[2007]], Chris uploaded several new, original images to ED, including ShecameforCWC.JPG. All were varying degrees of horrifying, but ShecameforCWC.JPG proved to be the most controversial, leaving [[trolls]] in total shock.

==Analysis==
[[Image:ShecameforCWCanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis]]

The drawing fails in so many ways that it manages to capture the true essence of fail that is Chris:

*The [[Chris and art|artistic skills]] of an eight-year-old; depth perception and proportion are nonexistent. She looks as flat as the paper upon which she was drawn.
*A complete unfamiliarity with the female anatomy (the [[China|vagina]] is not one long hole and you could never do that sort of thing with a real vagina, looking like that).
*Megan's body lacks all curves whatsoever. Chris should probably start paying better attention to women in porn, as then he would know that girls' waists nip in, thus making the hips appear more pronounced, instead of being straight up and down [[Pedofork|like a little boy]].
*Unfamiliarity with human anatomy in general. Megan's legs seem to start right at the groin while her hips are directly behind them. Her right hand seems to be permanently stuck doing the [[Wikipedia:Vulcan salute|Vulcan salute]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]]''. Also, it looks like neither Chris nor Megan have elbows, joints or even bones for that matter. What is supposed to be her foot looks like a deformed flipper.
*Chris is somehow reaching over his left shoulder with his right hand despite the fact that his elbow remains near his side, creating an effect straight out of [[Wikipedia:M. C. Escher|M. C. Escher]]'s darkest nightmares.
*Megan's right nipple looks at first to be a sixth finger, suggesting that Chris messed up (more than usual) while drawing the hand and decided to turn it into a nipple.
*The [[China|vagina]] in question appears to be either glowing or shooting out a powerful gust of wind. Chris probably meant to convey that Megan was "wet" and/or "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|squirtin']]," but due to his own stupidity he drew her "[[Wikipedia:Female ejaculate|cum]]" around and outside the vagina instead of coming from inside it, leading to the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages" effect shown in the picture. Also, pussy juice is not blue.
*Megan's pubic hair, which was probably supposed to be a [[Wikipedia:Landing strip (pubic hair)|landing strip]] (a near-ubiquitous hair cut in porn), in this drawing bears a slight resemblance to [[Wikipedia:Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s mustache (coincidentally, Megan had a one-time fetish for German soldiers, which Chris wouldn't realize anyway). It is also quite far up on her body, and looks like some kind of messed-up [[Wikipedia:Abdominal hair|happy trail]] instead of pubic hair.
*Close attention to the parts that interest Chris, namely [[China|genitalia]] and breasts, yet a tiny head he had to squeeze in, most likely because he started with the former and realized "Oh, she needs a face."
*In contrast, Chris pays close attention to his [[Medallion of Fail]], his [[heterochromia]], etc.
*Not only a retarded pun, a reinforcement of Chris's narcissism, that when a woman orgasms, it's for his sake and not her own pleasure (as he titled it "''She''came''For''CWC", emphasis added). Plus, a smug look on his face as he gives a thumbs up while fingering her seals the deal.
*He's wearing his [[Sonichu medallion]] while fingering a woman. He stated that ideally, he'd like to be wearing his medallion for his first time.{{cite}}
*The fact that this is his best and only friend, Megan, and he sees nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it's on the Internet where she can see it.

==Drama==
===With ED===
When Chris first uploaded the image to ED, he captioned it "Your sister has cum for me." Exactly what he meant here is disputed, but it had the unintended effect of leading ED's users to widely conclude that the picture represented ''Chris's'' sister, the fictional character [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]. (Given the nature of Chris’s artwork, any two females with long brown hair are easily mistaken for each other.)

Over the next few months, the image was removed and replaced a few times over the course of Chris's simmering edit war against ED. It didn’t become a serious hot potato until [[March 2008]], however, when [[Megan]] discovered the picture and learned that it was meant to be a picture of her. (Chris, not realizing that it would probably be better to cut his losses and let the trolls believe that he wanted to screw his imaginary sister, spilled the beans himself.) In between bombarding Megan with apologies via e-mail, he went on a desperate campaign to remove the image from his ED page.

Chris spent most of a week trying to remove the image, trying to delete references to Megan from the article, trying to erase random bits of the article in order to camouflage his real intentions, and otherwise failing to realize that once something goes up on a wiki, you can’t make it come back down. Amazingly, he even tried to replace the image with a [[:File:TomTomCloseup.jpg|cropped version]] which just involved the vagina, as though Megan were only angry about her and Chris's facial features being depicted and would be satisfied if the image just showed his hand disappearing up her radiant quim. ED admins quickly reverted his edits and eventually protected the page once it was obvious that Chris was up to something.

On 18 March, Chris admitted defeat in his own disturbing way, and edited the image’s caption — as well as several other captions around the article — to make it clear that the woman depicted is Megan, not Crystal. Over the next few days, he made a number of other self-deprecating and self-pitying changes and additions to the page, including the "[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]" series of images, before giving up on editing ED for six months.

===With Megan===
In early spring [[2008]], Chris’s relationship with Megan had gone relatively smoothly for some time. However, on 4 March, she sent him a seemingly innocuous message, sharing some friendly news...and also asking that Chris remove any references to her from his websites.

By 12 March, Megan had discovered the full extent of what Chris had written and drawn about her around the Internet, and particularly the fact that she'd starred in his cartoon fantasy porn. (At some point, according to [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], the image was also discovered by Megan's fellow customers at [[The_Game_Place|the Game Place]].) While failing to get the image off the ED page over the next several days, Chris sent her a series of messages trying to put out the fire.

Some of his attempts to "explain" the image to Megan are downright bizarre. It's hard to do justice to the [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_apologizes_for_something.2C_what_could_it_be.3F|original e-mails]]. At one point he seemed to think Megan was offended because she didn't understand the act on display, and went off on a frighteningly awkward explanation of what a handjob is. In another e-mail, Chris confirmed the suspicion of many trolls — that he had entertained thoughts of sexually assaulting Megan.

{{quote|If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac...|Chris, [[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|e-mail to Megan, 18 March 2008]]}}

Generally, Chris's "apologies" are a classic display of his insensitivity and awesome narcissism in action. He shows little remorse for creating and publishing the image while offering plenty of woe-is-me whining about the bullies from ED. In a message from 18 March, he actually had the gall to tell Megan that no matter how bad she might be feeling, he himself has definitely got it worse.

After sending several messages and receiving little in the way of response from Megan, Chris appears to have given up on winning back her trust, which coincides with the slackening of his campaign to remove the image from ED and the increasingly self-hating tone of his edits there. On 23 March, Megan finally sent him two brief replies to the effect of "leave me alone." Those mark the end of the active drama over the image. Chris stopped editing ED around the same time.

As a coda to the fiasco, Chris tried once more to repair his relationship with Megan about a month later, sending a message with a mix of everyday news and creepy stalkerish longing. Given some time to consider the implications of his earlier messages, especially the parts where he brought up the prospect of raping her, Megan slammed the door shut, saying "I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore." This remains their last known communication.

==Today==
{{quote|It was Wishful Thinking.|Chris, describing his motive for drawing ShecameforCWC, [[Rejected Mailbag]]}}

Christian's remorse turned out, not surprisingly, to be fake as he went and reuploaded the picture for his sleazy [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the fact he needed "sexy images".<ref>[[Mumble 9.5|Mumble Chat 9.5]]</ref> The pain he caused a female friend means nothing compared to his lust for e-fame. The original drawing itself is said to be ripped up and stored in a "Crumple-Lope"
==See also==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] - Chris graduates from a handjob to an all-out rockstar orgy. His drawing style hasn't improved.
==Sauce==
<references />
{{MeganSaga}}
[[Category:Rule 34]]

ModNation Racers

2010-11-30T21:52:21Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Gallery */ neutrality etc.

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:ModNation Racers.jpg|thumb|''MR'' [[America]]n box art]]

'''''ModNation Racers''''' is a customizable kart racing game for the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]] that [[Chris]] has taken a liking to. It isn't quite [[2010]]'s answer to ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', but it's close.

In addition to providing [[Autism|autistics]] with the simple gameplay used in all racing games and cute, [[Homos|gaily]]-colored characters found in [[Pokemon|many]] [[Animal Crossing|children's]] [[Sonic|games]], ''ModNation Racers'' is heavily based around user-generated content, much like ''LittleBigPlanet''. Chris can now foist his questionable [[Chris and art|design skills]] upon the world through a kart racing game.

==Chris's ModNation career==

[[Image:126473378631.JPG|thumb|200px|How Modnation looks in Chris's mind]]
When only the beta version of the game was available, Chris posted 25 screen caps of him driving a yellow, [[Sonichu]]-themed cart around an empty racetrack on the [[CWCipedia]]. These were filed under [[Copyright|"Original CWC Art"]]. Later, after the retail version arrived, he created a number of characters and cars (images are available below), as well as a CWCville track.

It is of great concern to Chris that despite his belief that he has a large [[fanbase]], barely anybody has bothered to download his poorly designed track and he continues to whore it out at every opportunity. On 17 July 2010, Chris updated his [[Twitter]] account for the first time in ages, begging his imaginary followers to give him codes for the "Mystery Mods" (promotional DLC packs included with the pre-ordered copies of the game<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/27/modnation-racers-mystery-mods-revealed/]</ref>) and to download his CWCville track so that he could acquire yet another trophy. 26 July saw yet another Twitter update whining for downloads and positive reviews.

He also posted multiple threads on the forums at [[GameFAQs]] and Gamespot making similar demands. When his initial beg-a-thons were deleted because of those boards' anti-soliciting policies, Chris, being Chris, just went ahead and posted them again.

Despite having all the free time in the world to practice his skills, Chris remained mediocre at ''ModNation Racers''. This should come as little [[Soul Calibur|surprise]]. After racing in 1000+ contests, Chris only "won" 200 of these (with a noticeable "Disconnected" and "Did Not Finish" tally indicating some [[Rage|tard-rage]] present). All in all, Chris won about 20% of the time.

Additionally, a number of his characters show they have been used in 0 races even days after their creation, meaning even Chris didn't even bother to use his own creations.

==Beta screen caps==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:MODNATION.JPG|Modnation Chris, about to go snake hunting.
Image:MODNATION_1.JPG|Sonichu license plate
Image:MODNATION_2.JPG|''Modnation'': the game that lets you make Sonichu [[medallions]]
Image:MODNATION_19.JPG|Chris plows his car into an orange pylon
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==

{{collapsible
|Chris's ModNation characters|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Modnation ChrisChan.jpg|Chris
File:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|[[Sonichu]]
File:Modnation Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]]
File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Lego Chris]]
File:Modnation LegoInfomaniac.jpg|[[Legos|The Infomaniac]]
File:Modnation 1stTransformersRacer.jpg|[[Transformers|A "Transformer"]]
File:Modnation ExcelExcel.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Excel]]
File:Modnation HayattHatchan.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Hyatt]]
File:ModNation Wild.jpg| [[Wild Sonichu]]
File:ModNation Punchy.jpg| [[Punchy Sonichu]]
File:ModNation MagiChan.jpg| [[Magi-Chan]]
File:ModNation Bubbles.jpg| [[Bubbles Rosechu]]
File:ModNation Angelica.jpg| [[Angelica]]
File:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg| [[Count Graduon]]
File:ModNation AmericanRabbit.jpg| [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|American Rabbit]]
File:ModNation PattiChan.jpg| [[Patti-Chan]]
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichu.jpg| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
File:ModNation PrincessClara.jpg|Princess Clara
File:ModNation FoxxyLove.jpg|Foxxy Love
File:ModNation No24MHSPlayer.jpg|A [[Niggo|basketball player]] from Chris' [[Manchester High School|high school]]
File:ModNation MHSCheerleader.jpg|...and a [[Laura_Beth_Dorazio|cheerleader]] to pair him off with.
File:ModNation No65MHSPlayer.jpg|Another basketball player.
File:ModNation 1996ChristianChandler.jpg|...and someone to pair him off with.
File:ModNation Bionic.jpg|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
File:ModNation ManchesterShirt.jpg|A [[Transformers|Transformer]](?) wearing a [[Manchester High School|Manchild High]] shirt
File:ModNation PaRappa.jpg|[[PaRappa the Rapper]]
File:ModNation TiaraBoobowski.jpg| [[List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu#Sonic the Hedgehog franchise|Tiara Boobowski]]
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg| [[Son-Chu]]
File:ModNation TrollMale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil_Trolls|Male devil troll]]
File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil_Trolls|Female devil troll]]
File:ModNation TrollbusterCal.jpg| Fighting trolls everywhere with [[The Creepy Stare|the creepy stare]]
File:ModNation TrollbusterDeeDee.jpg| ...And Sarah Palin, apparently.
File:ModNation TrollbusterTee.jpg| Laziest character design, EVER!
File:ModNation Y2KChrisChan.jpg| Chris from the year [[2000]].
File:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg| ModNation Racers, the best way to express your love for [[Jackie|someone.]]
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg| [[Sailor Megtune|...creepy,]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|disturbing]] love. But love none the less!
File:ModNation_XBox360ko.jpg| [[Hex Box]]!
File:ModNation_PS3mi.jpg| [[PS3]].
File:ModNation LordIlPalzzo.jpg| [[ScotPalazzo|Lord Palzzo]] from [[Excel Saga]].
File:ModNation BlackSonichu.jpg| [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]. Take note that he was added to ModNation Racers [[Racism|long after his wife was]].
File:ModNation PSMoveMotion.jpg| [[Nintendo|<s>Wiimote</s>]] [[PS3|Sony Move controller.]]
File:ModNation SodiumOneSoldier.jpg| [http://www.sodiumone.com/en/ Sodium One Soldier]
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|Chris's ModNation cars|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Modnation SonichuKart.jpg|A car for Sonichu
File:Modnation RosechusKart.jpg|And Rosechu too!
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|[[Son-Chu]]
File:Modnation 1991CamaroZ-28.jpg|Hot Wheels
File:Modnation JaguarXj220Revealers.jpg|More Hot Wheels
File:Modnation Zr1CorvetteRevealers.jpg|
File:Modnation PontiacBanshee.jpg|Nothing to see here
File:Modnation AMansToy.jpg|Not [[gay]] at all.
File:Modnation 1stTransformerRaceCar.jpg|Transformation not included
File:Modnation Wiimote.jpg|[[Chris and death|<s>A casket</s>]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Nintendo Wiimote]]
File:ModNation AuNatured.jpg| [[Nudes|Au "Naturel"]]
File:ModNation Prowler.jpg| [[Prower|Prowler]]
File:ModNation CountGraduonScepter.jpg| Count Graduon's [[Sex toys|Scepter]]
File:ModNation AmericanRabbitsskates.jpg| [[The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit|The American Rabbit]]'s rollerskate
File:ModNation Foxxy5..jpg| A van featured in the series [[Wikipedia:Drawn Together|Drawn Together]]
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichuKart.jpg|A kart for [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
File:ModNation Arwing.jpg|[[Wikipedia:Star_Fox_(series)#Arwing|Another game franchise ruined by Chris...]]
File:ModNation ManchesterHighShortBus.jpg|[[Slow-in-the-minds|The short bus]]
File:ModNation TrollbustersTruck.jpg| Who you gonna call? The [[Trolls|Troll]][[Ghostbusters|Busters!]]
File:ModNation TrollbustersCar.jpg| Perfect for running over those [[B-Manajerk|pesky]] [[Michael Snyder|trolls.]]
File:ModNation BombDeliveryRobot.jpg| Of all the robots from [[Excel Saga|this show]], he makes this instead of the gynoids.
File:ModNation PSMoveNavigator.jpg| So much for [[The MovingFoward videos|"moving forward"]]
File:ModNation SaltShooterTank.jpg| [http://www.sodiumone.com/en/ Salt Shooter tank]
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|"Tour de CWCville" ModNation tracks|<gallery perrow="4">
File:CWCvilleTrackCity.jpg| [[CWCville|Downtown]]
File:CWCvilleTrackPark.jpg| [[McIntire Park|CWCville Park]]
File:CWCvilleTrackForest.jpg| [[Rape|CWCville Forest]]
File:CWCvilleTrackMountain.jpg| CWCville Mountains
File:CWCvilleTrackBeach.jpg| [[Sonichu_8#Episode 18: "Spring Break, 2008!"|CWCvillle Beach]]
File:ModNationCity.jpg| ModNation City
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res character mods|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNationRacers.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 1.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 108.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 109.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 121.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 110.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 111.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 226.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 112.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 227.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 113.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 114.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 115.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 116.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 117.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 118.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 119.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 122.JPG
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res vehicle mods|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNation Racers 123.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 124.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 125.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 126.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 127.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 128.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 129.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 130.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 131.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 132.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 136.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 137.JPG
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res race shots|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNation Racers 140.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 141.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 145.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 206.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 207.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 223.JPG
</gallery>}}

==See also==

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==

*[http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu Chris's ModNation profile]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Anime

2010-11-23T20:01:51Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]]]]

'''Anime''' is a colloquial term for Japanese animation. Chris enjoys the artform as well, although it's not his primary obsession. He's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[Image:Uncle_Go.jpg|thumb|Go Nagai, or as mecha anime fans call him: Uncle Go. He is the total opposite of Chris in the anime and manga realm, and has the creativity of a thousand men. He does more in a decade than most mangaka and writers can hope to do in a lifetime. Also note that he's a sharp dressed man.]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokémon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by [[2004]] he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, though, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in [[2005]], but hasn't been back to a convention since then. In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''Crayon Shin-chan'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "very-close-to-nude girls" (even bigger shock).

Chris still rips off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "harem" comedy-drama ''Shuffle!'' in [[2009]]; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early [[2010]], doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around November 2009, Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Pokémon and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until the fifth issue of the series, which he completed in the spring of 2006. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] A better example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork. (Still shit, mind.)]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''[[Daniel Mimms|Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo]]'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from ''Dragon Ball''.
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''Fullmetal Alchemist'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''Inuyasha'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan Schroeder's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': Simonchu and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': In made-up Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
* ''Yu Yu Hakusho'': Chris uses the protagonist's Reigan attack, calling it "Zap Cannon", in [[Sonichu 10]].

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...alot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
# The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
# The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
# The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
# Everyone turns to orange tang juice
# Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
# The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even remotely depressing.
# Asuka freaking out (I don't wanna die).

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Beavis and Butt-head

2010-11-23T17:13:07Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

[[Image: SchuComic8Page27.jpg|thumb|200px|"Apologies to Mike Judge." Yeah, that makes it all better, Chris.]]

'''''Beavis and Butt-head''''' was a classic animated series created by Mike Judge for [[Wikipedia:MTV|MTV]] that aired from March 8, 1993, to November 28, 1997, right in the middle of Chris's childhood.

The show revolved around the pathetic lives of its unfortunately named titular characters, a pair of fifteen-year-old idiots. When the boys aren't slacking off and watching TV, they often wander around their [[Ruckersville|small hometown]], concocting ridiculous get-rich-quick schemes or trying to [[Virgin with rage|lose their virginity]]. In other words, they would remind one of [[Chris]], only younger, employed and without the video game obsession. Also, at least Beavis and Butt-head [[Homo|have each other]]. However, comparing Beavis and Butthead to Chris is an utter insult towards them for the fact that even their lives aren't as pathetic than Chris.

[[File:Bnb_rippedoff.jpg|thumb|Shots from the episode in question. Why isn't it a surprise that Chris has yet again plagiarized yet another popular pop cultural icon in his crappy comic?]]
[[File:Beavis&buttheadreaction.png|thumb|right|Beavis and Butthead's reaction to Chris copying and bastardizing their joke. Not even these two have witnessed so much fail on a grand scale]]

Chris appears to be a fan of the show (being a show from the '90s), as he blatantly [[Parody|copied]] an entire scene from one episode for ''[[Sonichu 7]]''. The point of the cameo was to mock Chris's memories of creating [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] in 1996. Chris recalls Bionic emerging from a locker in his imagination, so this leads him to the "[[Random-access humor|hilarious]]" idea of having Beavis and Butt-head slam the empty locker shut, like they did in [http://www.tvrage.com/Beavis_and_Butthead/episodes/19219 that one episode].

{{quote|Huh Huh That guy's a wuss Huh Huh.|What Beavis and Butthead would say about Chris if they were real.}}

{{stub}}
{{clear}}
==See also==
*[[Parody]]
*[[Random-access humor]]

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

User:AlfredNTheFettuc

2010-11-15T21:33:37Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

{{Eurofag}}
{{PS3}}
{{Wii}}
{{Hex-Box}}
{{White}}
{{Virgin with rage}}
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #0000FF
|box-bg-col= #D9FFFB
|id-bg-col= #D9FFFB
|id-border-col= #D9FFFB
|info-col= #0000FF
|info-bg-col= #89CFF0
|info-border-col = #89CFF0
|id= [[Image:Male symbol.png|50px|A JERK]]
|info= '''JERK''' This user is [[JERKS|a JERK]] and <s>takes away all the girls</s> see above.}}
<noinclude>[[Category: Userboxes|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>
<includeonly>[[Category:CWCkipedians who are JERKS|{{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>{{Agnostic}}
{{Naive}}

User:AlfredNTheFettuc

2010-11-15T17:12:03Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

Chris and English

2010-11-15T13:51:44Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm */ This isn't really the best example of sarcasm. He didn't respond to it, and it's not necesarrily sarcasm to those unfamiliar with Street Fighter.

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor this.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''[[Wikipedia:English language|English]] skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>[http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html]</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[china]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best, especially since his vocabulary is profoundly lacking in the first place.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [''sic''] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, [[IRC (02 January 2009)]]}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound fancy and smart, which only makes him look like he doesn't know the word "instance." Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning [[wikipedia:Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping]], not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any six-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, but Chris uses to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence. Chris even uses the semicolon in dialogue where it would normally be considered improper.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", [[Rosechu]] is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "[[Bubbles Rosechu]]", "[[Angelica Rosechu]]", and recently introduced, "[[Lolisa Rosechu]]", of whom her Boyfriend, "[[Jamsta Sonichu]]", was the one who Interviewed [[Blanca]] and her [[Jiggliami]] on Radio Station, [[KCWC]].|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "''sic''"'s scattered around the CWCki, that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to spell words phonetically like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "[[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump", most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism — other possibilities include that:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====

Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he hasn't used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort-of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in correct context. Despite this, it's as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris isn't worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked-on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, and is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrase book, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that's probably close enough - it's got 'new' and 'address' in it".

For a more egregious example, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Advertising==

{{Incomplete}}

Chris has a penchant for adopting a speaking style found in advertisements. This usually happens when Chris mentions a product such as [[Anti Troll Movement Video1|Oil of Olay]] and [[HairDifference|Axe shampoo]]. Chris has attempted to do some real promotion before with the [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]].

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like"), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Literal interpretation===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the 'exact' meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this is no exception for Chris, who has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments.

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. He fails to elaborate any of his answers, and cannot distinguish the inferred meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with [[B-Manajerk]]. The previous day, the manager of the [[Wal-Mart]] had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a [[McDonald's]] at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[''sic'']."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now", rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the [[Wikipedia:Game Informer|Game Informer]].|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow [[Wikipedia:R. Kelly|R. Kelly]]'s bathroom... [[The Cleveland Show]], new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T04:59:46Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

Transcribin'

[[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 14:40, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

Holy shit that was a long video. I think my brain started melting towards the end, so apologies for any stupid mistakes. Also Chris is REALLY hard to understand when he's doing his high-pitched voice. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 15:46, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

:Don't blame you, it's been awhile since I needed alcohol to finish one of Chris's videos. I'm gonna edit some parts I could make out that I think you missed. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 15:58, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

:Thanks, mate. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 16:49, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

Shit, ''I'' may take up drinking if I keep up with Chris's shit. Anywho; Crystal, police woman, Officer Nasty. Nuff said.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 17:18, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

Is it worth noting that, whilst playing house with children's toys, he brings up the concept of a murder trial? All things considered, it isn't really appropriate in the environment, and that he brought it up ties in a lot with his other failures to understand age-appropriate material (Sonichu slaughters and Sex Ed for little kids being the most imminent examples). [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:47, 25 October 2010 (PDT)
:Follow the idea of Occam's Razor, which states that the simplest explanation is most likely the correct answer. In this case, he probably just assumes that that's what people report on as journalists. So probably not.--[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 20:03, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

Ooh, he updated his looks with a fleshie minifig. Anyway, I'd love to make a more accurate CWC minifig, but how do I add extra fat? [http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?i=1572900 This] gives me an idea... --[[User:AlfredNTheFettuc|AlfredNTheFettuc]] 21:59, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

100 2277

2010-10-12T13:55:20Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Transcription */

[[File:FredFlintstone.jpg|thumb|Fred's reaction to this.]]

'''100 2277''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 12 [[October 2010]] in which he dresses as Fred Flintstone, then cosplays as Homer Simpson cosplaying as Fred.

Right away, we're bombarded with a horrible, inaccurate, badly-paced impersonation as Chris attempts a deep, manly voice to [[Chris and Music#Singing|sing]] the theme to ''The Flintstones''- and fails right away by starting with ''[[The Simpsons]]'' [[parody]] version. The resulting voice is more along the lines of a frog who sings only in flats. To this, his latest construction paper costume is a even simpler version of Fred's one-piece toga/loincloth outfit: a single sheet of the paper, with dots scribbled on it.

It may be worth noting that Chris mumbles his way through the line "We'll have a [[Homos|gay]] old time," with "gay" meaning "happy" in this context. It is notable because Chris doesn't show any of his usual homophobia to this line by trying to change the lyrics. Either he recognises the non-sexual meaning of "gay", or the theme song is so ingrained into his memory, that he doesn't realise what he's singing. Unfortunately, in a bit of inconvenient timing surpassed only by the Zapruder film, at this key moment, Chris's costume begins to fall apart, making it difficult to discern whether he mumbled the line in aversion to anything even remotely gay, or in distraction of repairing his costume.

After that, and the obligatory [[Random-access humor|stolen quote]], he then sings (also badly) ''The Simpsons'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmP_t4_lpzo parody of the song], complete with a "mask" of Homer's face. It should be noted that this mask has square eyes, similar to that of his pre-[[Megan]], pre-[[anime]]-style drawings and [[comics]], but merely ends up bearing a closer resemblance to "The Smiley Face", of 70's pop-culture fame. This is topped off with an additional red piece, shaped to make a yelling mouth.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2277
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vs47eq7TTys}}
| stardate = 12 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}},{{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt}} The Racing Stripe
| previous = [[ECV 00002]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===
Yabba, dabba, ''doo!''

[''Chris shows a toy of the Flintstones' stone-age car, and plays with it throughout the video, as if it was being driven through the air'']

Sim-- Flint-stones, meeet the Flint-stones, they're the modern stone-age famileee!
From the, town of Bedrock, they're a page right out of hisss-store-eee!

Let's ride, with the family down the street,
Through the, courtesy of Fred's two feet! [''Chris's fingers mime a waking action in front of the toy'']

[''Short pause'']

When you're, with the Flintstones,
Have a yabba-dabba-doo-time,
Dabba doo-time, [''Chris's "costume" begins to fall, distracting him from singing'']
[''Mumbled''], We'll have a gay old time!

[''Mercifully drops the accent'']

And now for something... ''suh-lightly'' different!

[''Chris adopts a new accent, covering his face with a crude smiley face mask'']
Yabba, dabba''aahh'', doo!

Simpson, Homer Simpson,
He's the greatest guy in hiss-store-eee!
From the, town of Springfield;
He's about to hit a chesnut tree!

[''Chris pulls out an accessory to the yellow mask: an accompanying mouth to:'']
''YAAAAAAAAAH!''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV_00002]]|nextlink=''Current''}}

{{Template:Cosplay videos}}
{{Template:Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWCville

2010-10-09T19:39:03Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Overview */

[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] [[Wikipedia:North Korea|no elections]].|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]}}

<center>{{#ev:youtube|8UP6mEJrj1I}}</center>

'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is [[Chris]]'s imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.

{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
! CWCville
|-
|'''Flag''' (Ceremonial)
|[[File:Cwcflag1.png|200px|The ceremonial flag of CWCville.]]
|-
|'''Flag''' (National)
|[[File:Newflag1.png|The national flag of CWCville.]]
|-
| '''Location'''
| Virginia, U.S.
|-
| '''Coordinates'''
| Unknown, possibly the same as [[Charlottesville]] in a parallel universe, far from [[Molvanîa]]
|-
| '''Date established'''
| ''Fictional'': 1982 ''Real world:'' 2000
|-
| '''Population'''
| Moderately small. Mixed population of humans, Pokémon, and ripoffs
|-
|'''Political Ideology'''
| Chandlerian Socialism
|-
| '''Area code'''
| N/A, communication system relies on classified Nintendo DS link
|-
| '''Website'''
| None (formerly ''The CWCipedia'')
|-
| '''Also known as'''
| Chris's mind, CWCistan, The People's Democratic Republic of CWCville, The Confederate States of CWCville, Hell, etc.
|-
| '''Exports'''
| Excessive undeveloped characters, blatant ripoffs, autistic manchildren, semen
|-
| '''Current relevance'''
| Main location of events in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe
|}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville. Note that CWCville's postal code is the same as Chris's birthday, and that the address is nearly identical to his real address.]]
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|The toys that started it all.]]
[[File:cwcville1.jpg|thumb|A slightly more detailed (but no less disproportionate) drawing of CWCville.]]

CWCville is the setting of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', a city in Virginia of which Chris is Mayor for life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect his bias toward himself. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in his comic, Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref> Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the ''Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville'', in a manner similar to [http://www.korea-dpr.com/ The Democratic People's Republic of Korea].

It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[ego]] stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, [[Patti Chandler]], back to life in the form of another inhabitant. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts as defeating a whole army of huge [[Jerkops]] and resurrecting his dead dog is that in CWCville his will reigns supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world in which he holds no such power.

Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32/> In his willingness to educate, and his confusion at negative reactions to his answers, Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.

The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed [[LEGO]] kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade Sonichu items together on one table in his room. The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref> in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.

Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes", as if Chicago, for example, was less important than Charlottesville.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,<ref name=p32>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32]</ref> also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world.

Given Chris's humongous ego, it's surprising why didn't he give himself a whole country to begin with, or better yet, a whole fucking planet.

==Name==

One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon cards]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym," while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)

Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're Welsh in which case it would be pronounced "cookville". In [[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]], Chris slams [[Evan]] and fails once again, spectacularly, to realize the seeds of truth buried in parodies.

==Government and politics==
{{Quote|And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING|Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]].}}

{{Quote|Chris-chan was the Mayor of CWCville. Chris-chan had always been the Mayor of CWCville.|Paraphrased from [[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]}}

[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Notice how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]].]]
[[Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved [[Chris|Mayor.]]]]
[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked. (Note the "SS" runes.)]]
[[File:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris and his men weilding the CWCville ceremonial flag while on parade in Town Square.]]

According to [[Sonichu 8]], CWCville was founded in [[1982]] by Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only [[GodJesus]] knows why it wasn't called RFCville.

According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections. There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the Cwcville Trade Center Building. Exactly how CWCville's government operates is unknown. Chandler is mayor-for-life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections, but he has also insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]], but [[Women's rights|apparently not to women]], as some women are seen [[Sonichu 8#Episode_17:_Epilogue|protesting]] in order to gain suffrage in CWCville. Voting is strictly for the Town Council (or "Board of Director Members"<ref>[[Mailbag 37]]</ref>), which holds no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the mayor is not obligated to listen to. The mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he [[Mailbag 34#The government totally sucks|inherited the town from his father]] (even though many dictatorships ''are'' hereditary, e.g. Kim Jong-il succeeded his father Kim Il-sung, and "Baby Doc" succeeded "Papa Doc" in Haiti). However, he refuses to acknowledge that this obviously makes his town a ''monarchy'', by explaining that all other government positions are voted on (even though such a practice is found in many modern monarchies, even absolute ones). It's also revealed that the name of the town was changed when it was passed from father to son, though whether or not the town was originally known as "RFCville", or something marginally less retarded is unknown, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of ''[[Wikipedia:damnatio memoriae|damnatio memoriae]]'', where all records of a traitor: statues, etc., are erased after his death). It is theorized that one day Christian will hand over the reins of governance to his daughter, [[Crystal]] Weston Chandler, in which case the town's name will not go through another change.

On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS was the new Mayor of CWCville and that he was going to CWCville Jail to get raped by [[niggos]]. The next day, 4 March 2009, Chris revoked his statement that made MAYS the new mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in his bedroom. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion of Fail]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be True and Honest (and any retraction otherwise would involve him wearing the medallion to make his retraction legally binding), his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS is still the mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS snorted too much cocaine and died in his mayoral mansion, plunging the entire town into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a [[Chris_chan_Discusses|post-coup interview]] that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doublethink he was always the ruler], and that there would be no further elections.

The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random, [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Comic|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was [[Chris's Big Night Out|rescinded]].

Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]; in a predictable display of bureaucratic cluelessness, this important task has been somehow handed to [[Magi-Chan|an obvious closet case]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to have any oversight over a super-powered official or question or contest his findings (and [[Mailbag|disputing the authority has been futile in general]]), it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted — though sensibly, he has not written it into actual ''law'', otherwise all international observers would condemn his actions at once — that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the Comics|immunity from prosecution]]. This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.

CWCville has a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|large police force equipped with weapons and TANKS, and even an entire division of the U.S. Army]]; all these units, as said before, are above law. These groups appear frequently all around the city enforcing the laws, giving grim reminders of their existence to the common public every day, dragging the morale down. Any attempts at humor are prosecuted swiftly and severely under the draconian laws that are based on [[Chris and copyright|curious misinterpretations]] of international copyright laws. Dissident comedians who flee the city are hunted down and gruesomely executed (with the emphasis on "cute") by [[Sandy Rosechu|underage assassins]]. Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remain at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].

The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[jerkops]] and [[manajerks]] are depowered, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] is murdered by a Voltorb, four people - [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Sean]] and Mao are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in ''[[Chris|cruel and inhumane ways]]''.

The basic services are lacking: Packs of wild Pokémon roam the streets, uncontrolled. The mayor wastes precious [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]] on [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|oversize novelty drinking straws]] and [[Patti-chan|credit cards for dogs]]. As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], there were 10 homeless shelters set up: [[Mailbag 20|Chris himself]] claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house an indigent population of 900-1,800 individuals, and come equipped with free cable TV. The mayor's personal friends, such as Sonichu, live in state-sponsored, suburban housing.

'''tl;dr''' CWCville is a banana republic that makes most African countries look like the world's best places to live.

==Economy==
CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over; the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. Tobacco, unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry. With the banning of anything tobacco related, CWCville loses hundreds of millions of dollars a year in tax revenues, jobs and investment.

CWCville also mints its own currency, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, 10 C-Quarters equalling one W-Quarter, indicating that [[Honor roll|Chris has no idea what "quarter" means]]. Doubtless CWCville's disastrous budgeting decisions have led the establishment of a flourishing black market, perhaps using [[tobacky]] or [[pickles]] as currency.

==Flora and fauna==
[[Image:zapbud.jpg|thumb|Zapbud]]
CWCville, like the rest of Virginia, has a temperate climate and is suitable for large-scale agriculture. Years of economic decline, however, have seen CWCville's environs diverge greatly from those of its neighboring cities. Its forests growing thicker, and its fields returning to nature, CWCville is an excellent laboratory for the avid naturalist. Pokémon roam in the forests; zapbuds fill the fields.

Zapbuds have quickly established themselves in the surrounding ecosystem. Aside from [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu|"healing woes,"]] relatively little is known about them. They have four petals, possibly resembling buds of some sort in their normal state, and the "zap" in their name and electrical hazard symbols on their petals suggest that it might not be the brightest idea to pee in the middle of a zapbud field.

==Anomalies==

It is curious to note that while Chris reigns supreme over his imaginary town, it is still subject to the will of other people (as evidenced by BILLY MAYS' election). This gives a small insight into the workings of Chris's mind, as it implies a belief in the non-physical reality of the realm in his own mind. Any sane person could agree to "proclaim" BILLY MAYS the mayor of their fictional city with an offhand shrug, since it doesn't actually ''mean'' anything. They certainly wouldn't take it seriously enough to feel the need to clarify that they didn't mean it. The long and short of this is that Chris's creations are, to him, subject to certain metaphysical laws and structures which IRL he is unable or unwilling to comprehend. This suggests that if efforts were made to convince Chris that, for example, Sonichu had terminal cancer, Chris would either vehemently insist this is not the case, or accept it and claim that he has, in the comic, discovered a cure for cancer.
==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.onetruecwcville.net/index.php onetruecwcville.net]
* [http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCVille Chronicles]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1CIn7qkaY CWCville Mayor Campaign 2010]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyevn2-MU7I CWCville's National Anthem]

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Sonichu]]

100 2266

2010-10-06T15:17:52Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: Not everyone's familiar with TVtropes/wrestling

[[File:pedoforkgrimace.jpg|thumb|Grimace and some [[Pedofork|gal-pals]]]]

'''100 2266''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 4 [[October 2010]]. Continuing with the [[McDonald's]] character theme, the start of this video sees Chris dress up as [[wikipedia:McDonaldland#Characters|the Grimace]]. He then removes his costume and proceeds to play the [[Gitar of Fail]], while singing [[Wikipedia:Mark Wills|Mark Wills]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Don't Laugh at Me|Don't Laugh at Me]]" to what is apparently a tune of his own making. Either he's never heard the actual song, or he's a worse singer than we thought. Chris then finishes up the video by dispelling some rumors, confirming that [[Jackie]] is indeed real, that he [[Chris humps his PS3|doesn't hump his PS3]], nor any [[Chandler Cats|animals]].

Interestingly enough, the Grimace was originally a villain that was constantly [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1DlNbXviQQ being trolled by Ronald]. Chris's ability to impersonate the fat, amorphous, greedy, amoral, sugar-addicted, obsessive, naive, self-delusional, egotistical, cave-dwelling, hoarding, anthropomorphic blob of lard's original design is uncanny, even down to his bitch-tits as stand-ins for the Grimace's lower arms.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2266
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kPY6-lf62Ls}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2265]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

[[File:creep.jpg|thumb|A rather disturbing interpretation]]

[''Chris is dressed in three pieces of purple construction paper on his face, chest, and stomach assembled to vaguely resemble the McDonalds character Grimace'']

[''Singing in a deep [[retarded]] voice'']
:Hello, I'm the Grimace, I'm not dead.
:I've been down; I'm feelin' sad.
:All this time in my childhood, everybody thought I was different

Seriously folks, I was treated differently because I was [[autistic]] too. I am..-was autistic and very....very shy. Uhhh [[Nathanel Greene Elementary School#Chris's side of the story|the teachers they took me, they picked on me, they beat up on me, they recorded my screams.]] What a sad life for me as a Grimace. [[Chris and his ego|I hate being treated differently]], I don't like being treated differently. No one likes being treated differently! People should be [[Death threats|friendly towards each other]]. People please, be friendly towards each other. Do not laugh, because laughing is sad. Laughing at other peoples expenses makes them sad. It makes me sad, and don't make the Grimace sad.
[''Chris pulls off the construction paper on his face'']

[''Normal voice''] Don't make the Grimace sad, cause you could make me glad. [''Chris removes the second two pieces of construction paper taped to him.''] By not...being an instigator and gettin' laughs at other peoples expenses.

[''Pulls out his [[Guitar Hero]] guitar from a pile of shit'']

Here, let me sing a little song, it might clear things up a bit.

[''Strums [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bingo_(song)"Bingo"] on the strum bar for about 10 seconds'']

:Oh my little boy with [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The one they call the geek.
:[[Megan|A little girl who never smiles.]] Cause I've got braces on my teeth.
:And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep.
:I'm that kid, on every playground who's always chosen last.
:A single teenage mother tryin' to overcome my past.
:You don't have to be my friend, but is it too much to ask?

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Aspergers_syndrome|call me names]], [[Twin Falling Towers|don't get your pleasure from my pain]].
:In God's eyes we're all the same. Some day we'll all have [[Anime Wings|perfect wings]]. Don't laugh at me.

:I'm the cripple on the corner, you pass me on the street.
:I wouldn't be out here [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|begging]], [[Obesity|if I had enough to eat.]]
:And don't think I don't notice, that our eyes never meet.
:I lost my wife and [[Reginald_Chandler|little boy]] when someone cross the yellow line.
:The day we laid them on the ground, is the day I lost my mind.
:And right now I'm down to holdin', [[Attraction Sign|this little cardboard sign]] so...

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Naive|call me names]], don't get your pleasures from my pain.
:In God's eyes, we're all just the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:Don't laugh at me.

:[[Obesity|I'm fat]], I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall, [''Chris turns his head and puts on a stupid voice, defeating the purpose of the song''.] I'm DEAF, I'm blind. Hey, aren't we all? [Holds out hand twoards camera in an attempt to look poignant]

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Homos|call me names]], don't get your pleasure from my pain.
:In God's eyes we're all the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:[''Chris does a [[Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|dramatic glasses removal]] and says in a much more serious tone''] Don't laugh at me.

[''Reads off a paper he's been holding''] Original song sung by Mark Willis. Look it up on iTunes and wherever. Seriously, [[Secret Weapon|don't laugh at me, and I won't laugh at you either.]] Nobody is perfect. So quit trying to pick on us for our pain. And also for your information, there is a woman named Jackie. It is not some name I've given to my console. And I do not hump my console at all. I only did it [[Chris humps his PS3|that one time]] cause I was blackmailed. And I would never do that to any animals. [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Bestiality is WRONG]]. And don't believe any rumors you hear about me, especially an obvious one like [''Retarded voice''] detaching a [[vagina]] from a [[Kimmi|sex doll]] and putting it on a [[PlayStation 3]]... or an [[Xbox]]! [''Regular voice''] Too incredible to believe. It is false, no matter how you imagine it. [''pause'']

So there. Have a good day.

==See also==
*[[100 2265]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2265]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User talk:AlfredNTheFettuc

2010-10-05T13:08:46Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Action 52? */

{{welcome|Trombonista}}

== Teraz Polska ==

W b. Jugoslawii czesto nie uzywaja samoglosek. Satyryczny artykul w The Onion na ten temat: http://www.ijmc.com/archives/1996/January/02January1996.html --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 11:24, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
: Ta ale zwykle tymi spółgłoskami są r czy l. A polski jest jedynym językiem słowianskim z literą "w". --[[User:AlfredNTheFettuc|AlfredNTheFettuc]] 12:35, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

== Action 52? ==

Would your name happen to be a Action 52 reference? [[User:DronePod|"Order now, and i'll throw in a second beating -- Absolutely free!"]] 21:17, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
: Of course. --[[User:AlfredNTheFettuc|AlfredNTheFettuc]] 06:08, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

Lego

2010-09-26T06:24:34Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* See also */

[[Image:118-LegoCWC.jpg|thumb|Chris is just as [[fail]] in his Lego form as in any other]]

'''Lego'''™ is a brand of plastic building block [[toys]]. They are noted for their durability and ease of use allowing the creation of almost anything imaginable.

[[Chris]] has relied heavily on Lego blocks to put his creations into reality. They were a staple gift during his childhood [[Christmas]], his late teens, and his early twenties... The truth is, there are many AFOLs (Adult Fan Of Lego) around the world; some of them are even in their 40s and have families. Chris obviously isn't one of them.

== Chris Lego Brick creations ==
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|Panoramic vista of [[CWCville]], in all its blocky glory|thumb]]

* [[Pixelated PS3]] (also made with [[Pixelblocks]])
* Model [[CWCville]]
* [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
* [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Titanic-like boat]]
* [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag "Heavy-duty case"] to hold his [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|Pokémon]] card decks, acknowledged by Chris as one of his most noteworthy [[inventions]] (also held together with tape)

Chris has also found other uses for his Lego besides simply building stuff. In his [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|AIM chat]] with Vivian Gee, he noted that he uses his Lego figurines to "rehearse" imaginary conversations with women.

== Influences ==
Bionicle, a very successful line of sets based on the adventures of biomechanical beings each gifted with elemental powers, may have (along with ''[[Pokémon]]'') influenced the creation of the [[Chaotic Combo]]. It should be noted, however, that the former came out about four years later than the latter, so Pokémon likely left their imprint first, especially since it had more elemental types.

Inspired by his [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] have a pair of Lego go-karts [[:File:SchuComic9P35.jpg|in their garage]], the only vehicles they are shown to possess. This raises a number of problems; firstly, we are expected to believe that a bunch of giant plastic blocks, held together by frictional force alone, without visible seatbelts or a rollover cage, constitutes a road-safe vehicle. Second, each kart can only seat one individual. That's fine and dandy for the two adults, but where does that leave their children? Lastly, as they lack proper seats and possess a studded surface, they would be uncomfortable to drive in.

== 启蒙 (Enlighten) Bricks Police Station set==

[[Image:Comparisonsmall2.jpg|thumb|One of these things is not like the other...]]

In one of Chris's birthday photos he is seen holding what appears to be a new Lego "6332-1 - Command Post Central".<ref>Link to Peeron page on set [http://www.peeron.com/inv/sets/6332-1 "6332-1 Command Post Central"]</ref> Upon further inspection it is apparent that is merely a rebranded 启蒙 Bricks "POLICE SERIES" set which is almost a direct clone of the original Lego set. Presumably the 启蒙 Bricks logo was altered by a third party and replaced with "LEGO bricks." Chris's parents probably bought it relatively cheap at a discount store that carries knock-off brands, so it's not like they were shopping for a quality present for Chris in the first place. It should be noted that 启蒙 Bricks are much more fragile than Lego and are of generally much poorer quality than Lego sets are, something that probably went unnoticed by Chris.

==Gallery==
<center>
{{cg|Gallery of Lego|legogallery|center|<gallery>
Image:0092-Christians14th.jpg|Spyrius, fuck yeah! Christian's 14th birthday.
Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[2005]]. Proof of pirated toy, look at the "Brick" font. Note that he is ''23'' in this photo.
Image:0784-LegoPS3-1.JPG|The [[pixelated PS3]] of fail.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[1996]]
Image:400-LegKrt1.jpg|If you have no idea how to make your own Lego Go-Cart, Chris has your back.
Image:401-LegKrt2.jpg
Image:0424-CwcvilleBandStand1.jpg|A Lego gift to [[Cole Smithey]], perhaps Chris's first [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|band]]?
Image:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|A better view.
Image:0426-InformationCenter1.jpg|A model of the Information Center from Lego Island.
Image:0427-InformationCenter2.jpg|A rear view of the Information Center
Image:0428-InformationCenter3.jpg|Further away view of Information Center.
Image:0429-ChristianWTallStack1.jpg|A face expressing either pride or gas
Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|[[Duck|More than seven inches long!]]
Image:0431-CWCNuculus.jpg
Image:0440-CWCAndHis9Karts.jpg
Image:0438-CWCsMarioKartsX8.jpg
Image:0439-CWCsMarioKartsX9.jpg
Image:0441-MarioKartGPGroup.jpg
Image:0443-9KartCarrier1.jpg
Image:0785-LegoPS3-2.JPG|Moar of the pixelated PS3.
Image:0783-LegoPS3AndGuitar.JPG|Pixelated PS3 and the [[Gitar]].
Image:0111-LegoWalkman1.jpg|An earlier effort: The Lego Walkman
Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|Bionicle, the door's poster and figures in upper left corner.
Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|TIE Fighters zoom above a part of Lego CWCville
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg
Image:0824-EP12-5P6-9.jpg|CWCville: An overbuilt Hell-hole ruled by a man-child.
Image:0826-EP12-5P6-7.jpg|The money that paid for this could have gone to cancer patients.
</gallery>}}
</center>

==See also==
[[File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|thumb|Lego Chris in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

*[[List of Chris's games]]
*[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
*[[Pixelblocks]]
*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Hobbies]]

List of places that have banned Chris

2010-09-25T12:51:41Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

[[Image:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|Weapon of choice]]

Though he's a grown adult, at least physically, [[Chris]] is not above [[Chris and Anger|throwing tantrums]] and generally being a nuisance in public places like the manchild he really is. Due to his terrible behavior, Chris has been '''banned''' from many places. Some of them have been temporary, some of them permanent. It just proves that Chris can't go anywhere without screwing it up for himself.

==Locations==

===The GAMe PLACe===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe}}

According to [[Mimms]], Chris has been banned twice. The first time, which was temporary, was when Chris attempted to get something from the back without permission. The permaban came on 28 August 2008, when Chris got confrontational with a [[niggo|black]] child.

===Charlottesville Fashion Square===
{{main|Charlottesville Fashion Square}}

Chris was busted twice here, once for loitering and again for shouting in public. The second incident may or may not have been Chris's "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shout upon learning [[Hanna]] was trolling him. He was banned for a year, but the ban has since expired.

===Wal-Mart===
{{main|Wal-Mart}}

Chris was twice kicked out of Wal-Mart. On 23 June 2005, the manager of the store's [[McDonald's]] (depicted as the [[B-Manajerk]] by Chris in the comics) attempted to arrest Chris for loitering, but his own fast thinking and hiding his Attraction Sign (which got him in trouble in the first place) ended up with him removed from the restaurant for the rest of the day (or so he says). The actual banning came two days later, 25 June 2005, when Chris returned and attempted to loiter again. Both managers for McDonald's and Wal-Mart confronted Chris, but being the stubborn, pig-headed, [[JERK]]-hating manchild he is, he refused to listen to the managers, ran off and nearly ran ''over'' one of them. In late 2009, he returned to Wal-Mart, forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a [[sports bra]].

===Target===
{{main|Target}}

On 20 July 2005 (almost a month after Chris's incident over at Wal-Mart), he attempted to loiter at a newly-built Target, intending on exploiting their free soda refill deal while he tried to get boyfriend-free girls. According to [[Emily]], Chris was approached by management and asked to leave, but he refused. Pressed, he insulted them and forced them to call the cops. When they did, Chris tried to run, forcing them to tackle, hogtie and handcuff him. All this on the store's opening week!

===Burger King===

On the morning of July 3rd, a field agent reported that he spotted Chris and his father at a local Burger King. Bob was arguing with the cashier over exactly how much he was supposed to pay for his coffee--likely because he'd arrived too late to get a discount on it. At some point during the fight, Chris joined in and [[Chris and Anger|yelled "so loud, it would awaken the dead"]]. Bob may have also accused the cashier of racism due to him being white. If they're both not banned from the establishment already, we can safely assume that they're not going back.

==Web sites==

===deviantART===
{{main|deviantART}}

Chris has twice been banned from deviantART. Both times were for the same reason: sexual imagery without the proper filters. The first time was around May 2009, most likely due to the imagery from [[Sonichu 7]]; the second was August 28, 2009, due to the infamous cameltoe scene in [[Sonichu 9]] and the sex scene between [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles]] in [[Sonichu 8]].

===YouTube===
{{main|YouTube}}
Chris has abandoned many of his accounts after troll attacks. One of his accounts, CChanSonichu, was suspended because of [[The July 10th Messages|three insulting videos]] he posted in tandem on 10 July 2009.

===Wikipedia===
{{main|Chris and Wikipedia}}

On May 1, 2009, Chris created an account on Wikipedia, hoping to show his side to his life story, one that wasn't "smeared" by trolls. It was deleted soon afterward. His user account was indefinitely blocked (although the blocking admin actually believed it to be a sockpuppet of a troll and not the genuine article), and the article name "Christian Weston Chandler" has been "salted" to prevent it from returning.

===Flipnote Hatena===
{{main|Flipnote Hatena}}

After uploading and re-uploading numerous flipnotes that violated the rules of the family-friendly Flipnote Hatena site, the moderators banned him permanently from uploading flipnotes on 2 July 2010. However Chris has managed to evade his ban by, apparently, purchasing a new DSi.

==Organizations==

===The Cub Scouts===

Chris stated in part 4 of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] that he was kicked out of the "Wolf Cub Scouts" in the late 80s because he was autistic. Undoubtedly, it was for something he did that he didn't tell us about. His commentary suggests that he routinely angered his Den Mother with his illogical behavior and that he believes this to be the reason he is banned. In [[Mailbag 18#Instead the courts were on the side of justice|Mailbag 18]], Chris revealed that his parents tried to sue the Boy Scouts of America over this incident.

===Piedmont Virginia Community College===
{{main|Piedmont Virginia Community College}}

Two incidents occurred here. The first occurred on Chris's 21st birthday, 24 February 2003. Chris originally blamed the incident on him having an outburst when he was kicked out of a class after telling a male professor that he, like the main character in a story they were learning about, was autistic. According to Emily, however, it turns out that he was kicked out because of his homophobic tendencies causing him to say something derogatory. In either case, Chris started his [[Love Quest]] this day.

The second incident occurred when, in mid-October 2003, dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] spotted Chris and his [[Attraction Sign]] and took it away, criticizing Chris for his actions, as she believed he was trying to solicit sex. When Walsh destroyed a second sign, Chris [[Chris and Anger|raged]] and went on the offensive. This incident lead to her banning Chris for a year, forcing him to see a psychiatrist and go to anger management classes (all of which have [[fail]]ed).

===Grace Baptist Church===
{{main|Grace Baptist Church}}

Chris was banned from his old church in 2008. He claimed in an email with lordsillynipples, "Pastor John Hartless did not like my views I've expressed in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|my video I did on my 25th Birthday]], and he found the [[ED]] page." Later, in [[Mailbag 14]], he claimed it was because "The pastor did a background check on me, and found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." Going by his behavior with his current congregation, it is not unlikely that he linked his pastor to his ED page in the hope that he'd make the congregation vandalize the page for him.

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Talk:PS3

2010-09-05T20:24:16Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Date bought */

== Every single purchase/download (as of feb 23 2010 ==

http://www.mediafire.com/?jym1gjw3gnf

YOU WILL KILL YOURSELVES TRYING TO ANALYZE THIS [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:32, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
* oh man. I am gonna have to steel myself a bit before I tackle that shit. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 13:06, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Aaaand I think I got it all. Now I will be depressed for the rest of the day. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 15:43, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

==To do==
*Chris's fanboy faggotry with PS3 (ultimate life upgrade, etc.)
*Make available a log of his PSN purchases.
*Make reference to credit card theft.

Is there a way to look up Playstation Network stats (e.g. trophies) while not on the PSN? [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 01:50, 17 July 2009 (CEST)
: The folks at /_cwc/ hinted that [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu nowadays we can]. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 15:30, 11 September 2009 (CEST)

* Chain these links together for his entire DLC purchases.
http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f5736ffdd
http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f277fb9e2
http://outerheaven2.pastebin.com/m26fb6764

http://outerheaven2.pastebin.com/f61a9b739 (his ALT usa account when he was hacked the second time)

uh yeah. this is pretty much the only thing that matters. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:56, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

* stats: total $2485.89 (dlc only not including hardware/software/game discs/umds...etc...chris's list of games for that info...so...)
634 total things (2 being tax from troll purchases when hacked first time post-julie)
1 29.99
1 24.99
4 19.99
1 17.99
6 14.99
2 12.99
2 11.99
33 9.99 (1 troll purchase made here)
1 8.99
7 7.99
4 6.99
14 6.25
79 5.99 (1 troll purchase made here)
1 5.50
42 5.49
40 4.99
20 3.99
1 3.49
60 2.99
6 2.49
203 1.99
1 1.49
81 .99
1 .66 (troll tax)
19 .49
1 .42 (troll tax)
3 .15

yeah. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:21, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

== I've got to say something ==

...he does have a ton of 100%s here, which does make me sorta little bit hexbox-green with envy. Though most of them seem to be from games with only a few trophies (closer to the 200-gamerscore arcade games in XBL). ''And'' a few of these look like pretty simple games. But still, surprisingly many, considering the fact that just a few months ago there were ''three'' games in the list with 100%.

Sincerely, just a random guy in the last stages of of grinding his way to 1200 G in ''Mass Effect'', --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 20:07, 2 December 2009 (CET)
:I wouldn't feel too bad about it. Considering his..."performance" in the various Youtube videos of him playing Soul Calibur or Little Big Planet, I sincerely doubt he actually platinum'ed anything himself. More likely, he just downloaded a save file from GameFAQs (or wherever). -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 23:25, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Friend Limit MAXIMUM!==
Chris' friend limit is at the max on his PSN account. Does he have another one so he can still stay in contact with his 'fans'? Also, how do I get his LPB levels HOW DID I GET HERE OH GOD I AM NO GOOD WITH COMPUTER
*The only way I know is to go on LittleBigPlanet and search Sonichu and you're guaranteed to find his levels. And don't forget to do your signature, btw. It's one of those buttons in the middle of the set right on top of this box. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 04:10, 3 January 2010 (CET)

== I've gotta be honest ==
I was expecting a NOGAEMS joke somewhere in the article. [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 20:07, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*If there's no direct link to Chris, expect it wouldn't be there. It's a way to keep the blubber away. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:23, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

== Does Chris have a fat or slim PS3? ==
I'm sure he had a fat one but knowing Chris, he probably bought the slim too. If he does indeed use the fat one, was he not affected by the PSN clock death thing that happened recently? [[User:Dave|Dave]]
*it probably was affected but it didn't matter as the problem is fixed. he bought it when it first came out so he has a fat one. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:30, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

==Chris's game of the month==

This section is to inform people about the game Chris is currently playing the most for the month, for example a the last two seem to have been spent playing Heavy Rain and God Of War III, well this month Chris has revealed to the world that he's got his hands on the aclaimed sandbox game Infamous.[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 18:52, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
*That makes too much sense--he's probably playing it right now, pretending that it's actually the Sonichu game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:29, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
** Yeah or he's pretending the gang members are his trolls and the leaders of them are, Blue Spike, Liquid Chris, and Clyde Cash respectevly.[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 23:26, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
***Ah fuck. I liked Infamous! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:31, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
**** I do to, but I'm stuck on the level where you're supposed to protect Trish's bus.

Some of us have him friended on the PSN, right? Would it be possible for us to keep track of Chris's total time spent using the PS3 each month? Also, I can't see the individual trophies on his PSN profile--I assume that's just the site fucking up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:41, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

* What I do is compare trophies.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 00:14, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
** Also I have sent him a friend request a fews months back, he hasn't responded.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 00:15, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

== Trophies and achievements ==

I was wondering: Since Chris seems to be such a trophy junkie, is he aware of the fact that the idea of trophies is heavily inspired by the "hexbox 360's" achievements? Has he ever mentioned anything about it? --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 15:55, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

==PlayStation Plus==
Do we know if Chris has subscribed to the new $50 service yet?--[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 03:13, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

==PS3 Destruction Video==
Chris mentioned that the PS3 still went into standby mode after he pounded and run over the console. Is it possible that Chris's problem was something other than a network issue? It sounds like the PS3 might have YLODed. --[[User:Captkrisma|Captkrisma]] 18:45, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

== Actual effects of reformatting ==

I don't have a PS3, so I'm kind of asking someone more knowledgeable to ramble about this in the article: How much did the reformatting actually affect Chris? I thought the worst that happened to him was that he lost his savegames and LBP/MN stuff he hadn't uploaded yet, and he could just re-download the purchases and the mod content he had uploaded to the servers. Another thing: What about the older HDs? Would he have had a chance to recover some of his stuff from there, or does the data-transfer process wipe the old stuff? (I don't see why it ''should'' do a crazy thing like that, but hey, consoles are weird sometimes.) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 00:55, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yes, purchased content could easily be redownloaded and anything he uploaded to the network would still be there. To my knowledge, upgrading the hard drive does not require you to wipe the old one, but I've never done it so I don't know for sure. If his older data was still on the HDs, it sure isn't now. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 09:33, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

== Yes he has a new one ==
Fuck me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:03, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, like nobody saw that coming. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 12:39, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:Do you know what he's doing with the rest of the $9001? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 12:48, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

== lolWUT ==
The current revision of the article as I speak has this oddity:

<blockquote>"It was revealed through a series of e-mails that Chris had destroyed his beloved Life Upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a troll reward. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea more, not even realizing that he had destroyed an item that could have netted him a lot more than the prize he sought."
</blockquote>

The PS3 and games cost Chris somewhere in the vicinity of $3500, a fact that is mentioned in a lot of places on this site. $3500 is just a little over half of the troll prize ($9001). Resale value for games is never a matter of making profit, it's about breaking even. You're not going to see $3500 again, especially not with a used PS3 and Chris's relatively small stack of used games. It's a miracle to make back your investment.

Even on eBay, you're only going to profit if you have the latest and greatest console during the first month of the launch and said console can't easily be found in stores. Even that has it's limits though usually only a couple hundred more than retail. The only way you can truly profit in the above-$5000 range is if you sell your whole game library (which obviously needs to be massive) or if you have a rarity like an RDI Halcyon prototype or a NeoGeo AES with a sizable stack of games.

I read the email, and nothing was mentioned about another reward for the intact PS3, much less a $9K< reward so what kind of acidcrack was the revision writer on suggesting you could get bookoo (buukuu? beaucoup?) money for Chris's PS3? [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:18, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

: $3500 is a little over a ''third'' of $9001 last time I checked. [[User:Smokedaddy|Smokedaddy]] 02:27, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

: I'm fairly certain that the intention was to get him to destroy his PS3 since he's a greedy sumbitch. - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 15:23, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

:: Captainhowdy? Try Captainobvious, or maybe even NoShitSherlock.¬_¬ Some editor said that Chris could have made more money with an intact PS3, which is bullshit. If it was just a false statement to troll Chris further, what good did it do? He doesn't read the CWCki religiously, he'll never know! I'm just bitching about stupid shit, I'd remove it myself but you never know what needs to stay and what needs to go article-wise when it comes to this place. We all know the intent of the trolls, I'm just pointing out a blatant research failure one of them made. [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:29, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::: The reason that shit was put in is because there was a troll reward for $9001 dollars that Chris was trying to cash in on. Just like it says in the article. It has nothing to do with selling anything. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:39, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::: Goddamn, dude, NO SHIT. Do you see the last line in the quoted section? WTF is it there for? IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE IN THE CONTEXT OF THE TROLL! THAT'S WHY I WENT ON A TANGENT! I would delete it, but you never know article standards here, if that terrible "ghettogangsta nigga" style coffee-place siting article can't be deleted, who knows about this? Shit man, read the quoted section above, see if you can clarify it. Because both of you have done jack shit in that area so far. If I can't get a reason as to why it's there by tomorrow, I'm going to quit fucking around and delete it myself. Shit. [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:45, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::::: Herp derp, im not a troll derp. I read what you wrote and it's a valid point. The sensible thing to do would be to edit it out and say why in the summary, not rant on the talk page and make someone else fix it. Make it so. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:47, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::::: Also, as for the "both of you have done jack shit in that area so far", this is my second account. If you're looking for my contributions, look at [[Special:Contributions/Thelieisacake|this shit.]] [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:50, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::: My bad, I get what you're saying. I was just unsure of what we can and can't edit (Clyde threw down the hammer when it came to that dude wanting to edit that terribly-written coffee place article). I'mma deleting it now. Sorry I flew off the handle, it was slow-in-the-mind of me. We can delete this whole thread if you want. EDIT: I like what you did. Good job. Y'know it's too bad Clyde doesn't really have $9001, he could give it to Cogs so CWCki would have a server that doesn't crash more than a narcoleptic.[[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:54, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::::Don't worry about it, shit happens. If Clyde were to flip shit for no reason, he wouldn't be a mod for long. As long as you can justify your edits, they will stay. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:58, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::::It astonishes me how many people don't understand the value of the Coffee Place article or its submitter. It's a fine piece of fieldwork from one of our best trolls. And it should be extremely obvious from even a cursory reading why. [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 16:36, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::::::::[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|center]]
::::::::I can't see Chris. CAN YOU? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:40, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::::::Also, again, Jenkins hasn't done shit. Now let's stop bickering about Jenkins before we get NOT A FORUM slapped at the top. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:44, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:I would like to point out that 1) I was the guy who wrote that part, 2) I probably misread that part of the e-mail when I did read it and 3) was bitching about something that didn't look right ''really'' necessary? Seriously, man, ''it's an error''. I'll go correct it.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:56, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::1) Cool story, bro. 2) Nice, bro. 3) "Should we really point out the errors in our articles?" Well yeah. He didn't do it the way we normally do, but that doesn't make his point invalid. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:11, 4 September 2010 (PDT)
:How about next time you see an error, you correct it instead of bitching about it on a talk page --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 10:04, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

== Date bought ==

If it says 2007, then he's not lying. PS3 was released in late '''06''' in America. Hell, it was even out in Yoorup by March. So only the blurb that he played Sonic in 1990 is untrue.
--[[User:AlfredNTheFettuc|AlfredNTheFettuc]] 13:19, 5 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:PS3

2010-09-05T20:19:59Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

== Every single purchase/download (as of feb 23 2010 ==

http://www.mediafire.com/?jym1gjw3gnf

YOU WILL KILL YOURSELVES TRYING TO ANALYZE THIS [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:32, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
* oh man. I am gonna have to steel myself a bit before I tackle that shit. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 13:06, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Aaaand I think I got it all. Now I will be depressed for the rest of the day. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 15:43, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

==To do==
*Chris's fanboy faggotry with PS3 (ultimate life upgrade, etc.)
*Make available a log of his PSN purchases.
*Make reference to credit card theft.

Is there a way to look up Playstation Network stats (e.g. trophies) while not on the PSN? [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 01:50, 17 July 2009 (CEST)
: The folks at /_cwc/ hinted that [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu nowadays we can]. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 15:30, 11 September 2009 (CEST)

* Chain these links together for his entire DLC purchases.
http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f5736ffdd
http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f277fb9e2
http://outerheaven2.pastebin.com/m26fb6764

http://outerheaven2.pastebin.com/f61a9b739 (his ALT usa account when he was hacked the second time)

uh yeah. this is pretty much the only thing that matters. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:56, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

* stats: total $2485.89 (dlc only not including hardware/software/game discs/umds...etc...chris's list of games for that info...so...)
634 total things (2 being tax from troll purchases when hacked first time post-julie)
1 29.99
1 24.99
4 19.99
1 17.99
6 14.99
2 12.99
2 11.99
33 9.99 (1 troll purchase made here)
1 8.99
7 7.99
4 6.99
14 6.25
79 5.99 (1 troll purchase made here)
1 5.50
42 5.49
40 4.99
20 3.99
1 3.49
60 2.99
6 2.49
203 1.99
1 1.49
81 .99
1 .66 (troll tax)
19 .49
1 .42 (troll tax)
3 .15

yeah. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:21, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

== I've got to say something ==

...he does have a ton of 100%s here, which does make me sorta little bit hexbox-green with envy. Though most of them seem to be from games with only a few trophies (closer to the 200-gamerscore arcade games in XBL). ''And'' a few of these look like pretty simple games. But still, surprisingly many, considering the fact that just a few months ago there were ''three'' games in the list with 100%.

Sincerely, just a random guy in the last stages of of grinding his way to 1200 G in ''Mass Effect'', --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 20:07, 2 December 2009 (CET)
:I wouldn't feel too bad about it. Considering his..."performance" in the various Youtube videos of him playing Soul Calibur or Little Big Planet, I sincerely doubt he actually platinum'ed anything himself. More likely, he just downloaded a save file from GameFAQs (or wherever). -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 23:25, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Friend Limit MAXIMUM!==
Chris' friend limit is at the max on his PSN account. Does he have another one so he can still stay in contact with his 'fans'? Also, how do I get his LPB levels HOW DID I GET HERE OH GOD I AM NO GOOD WITH COMPUTER
*The only way I know is to go on LittleBigPlanet and search Sonichu and you're guaranteed to find his levels. And don't forget to do your signature, btw. It's one of those buttons in the middle of the set right on top of this box. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 04:10, 3 January 2010 (CET)

== I've gotta be honest ==
I was expecting a NOGAEMS joke somewhere in the article. [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 20:07, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*If there's no direct link to Chris, expect it wouldn't be there. It's a way to keep the blubber away. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:23, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

== Does Chris have a fat or slim PS3? ==
I'm sure he had a fat one but knowing Chris, he probably bought the slim too. If he does indeed use the fat one, was he not affected by the PSN clock death thing that happened recently? [[User:Dave|Dave]]
*it probably was affected but it didn't matter as the problem is fixed. he bought it when it first came out so he has a fat one. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:30, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

==Chris's game of the month==

This section is to inform people about the game Chris is currently playing the most for the month, for example a the last two seem to have been spent playing Heavy Rain and God Of War III, well this month Chris has revealed to the world that he's got his hands on the aclaimed sandbox game Infamous.[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 18:52, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
*That makes too much sense--he's probably playing it right now, pretending that it's actually the Sonichu game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:29, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
** Yeah or he's pretending the gang members are his trolls and the leaders of them are, Blue Spike, Liquid Chris, and Clyde Cash respectevly.[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 23:26, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
***Ah fuck. I liked Infamous! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:31, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
**** I do to, but I'm stuck on the level where you're supposed to protect Trish's bus.

Some of us have him friended on the PSN, right? Would it be possible for us to keep track of Chris's total time spent using the PS3 each month? Also, I can't see the individual trophies on his PSN profile--I assume that's just the site fucking up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:41, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

* What I do is compare trophies.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 00:14, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
** Also I have sent him a friend request a fews months back, he hasn't responded.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 00:15, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

== Trophies and achievements ==

I was wondering: Since Chris seems to be such a trophy junkie, is he aware of the fact that the idea of trophies is heavily inspired by the "hexbox 360's" achievements? Has he ever mentioned anything about it? --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 15:55, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

==PlayStation Plus==
Do we know if Chris has subscribed to the new $50 service yet?--[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 03:13, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

==PS3 Destruction Video==
Chris mentioned that the PS3 still went into standby mode after he pounded and run over the console. Is it possible that Chris's problem was something other than a network issue? It sounds like the PS3 might have YLODed. --[[User:Captkrisma|Captkrisma]] 18:45, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

== Actual effects of reformatting ==

I don't have a PS3, so I'm kind of asking someone more knowledgeable to ramble about this in the article: How much did the reformatting actually affect Chris? I thought the worst that happened to him was that he lost his savegames and LBP/MN stuff he hadn't uploaded yet, and he could just re-download the purchases and the mod content he had uploaded to the servers. Another thing: What about the older HDs? Would he have had a chance to recover some of his stuff from there, or does the data-transfer process wipe the old stuff? (I don't see why it ''should'' do a crazy thing like that, but hey, consoles are weird sometimes.) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 00:55, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yes, purchased content could easily be redownloaded and anything he uploaded to the network would still be there. To my knowledge, upgrading the hard drive does not require you to wipe the old one, but I've never done it so I don't know for sure. If his older data was still on the HDs, it sure isn't now. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 09:33, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

== Yes he has a new one ==
Fuck me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:03, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, like nobody saw that coming. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 12:39, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:Do you know what he's doing with the rest of the $9001? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 12:48, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

== lolWUT ==
The current revision of the article as I speak has this oddity:

<blockquote>"It was revealed through a series of e-mails that Chris had destroyed his beloved Life Upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a troll reward. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea more, not even realizing that he had destroyed an item that could have netted him a lot more than the prize he sought."
</blockquote>

The PS3 and games cost Chris somewhere in the vicinity of $3500, a fact that is mentioned in a lot of places on this site. $3500 is just a little over half of the troll prize ($9001). Resale value for games is never a matter of making profit, it's about breaking even. You're not going to see $3500 again, especially not with a used PS3 and Chris's relatively small stack of used games. It's a miracle to make back your investment.

Even on eBay, you're only going to profit if you have the latest and greatest console during the first month of the launch and said console can't easily be found in stores. Even that has it's limits though usually only a couple hundred more than retail. The only way you can truly profit in the above-$5000 range is if you sell your whole game library (which obviously needs to be massive) or if you have a rarity like an RDI Halcyon prototype or a NeoGeo AES with a sizable stack of games.

I read the email, and nothing was mentioned about another reward for the intact PS3, much less a $9K< reward so what kind of acidcrack was the revision writer on suggesting you could get bookoo (buukuu? beaucoup?) money for Chris's PS3? [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:18, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

: $3500 is a little over a ''third'' of $9001 last time I checked. [[User:Smokedaddy|Smokedaddy]] 02:27, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

: I'm fairly certain that the intention was to get him to destroy his PS3 since he's a greedy sumbitch. - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 15:23, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

:: Captainhowdy? Try Captainobvious, or maybe even NoShitSherlock.¬_¬ Some editor said that Chris could have made more money with an intact PS3, which is bullshit. If it was just a false statement to troll Chris further, what good did it do? He doesn't read the CWCki religiously, he'll never know! I'm just bitching about stupid shit, I'd remove it myself but you never know what needs to stay and what needs to go article-wise when it comes to this place. We all know the intent of the trolls, I'm just pointing out a blatant research failure one of them made. [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:29, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::: The reason that shit was put in is because there was a troll reward for $9001 dollars that Chris was trying to cash in on. Just like it says in the article. It has nothing to do with selling anything. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:39, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::: Goddamn, dude, NO SHIT. Do you see the last line in the quoted section? WTF is it there for? IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE IN THE CONTEXT OF THE TROLL! THAT'S WHY I WENT ON A TANGENT! I would delete it, but you never know article standards here, if that terrible "ghettogangsta nigga" style coffee-place siting article can't be deleted, who knows about this? Shit man, read the quoted section above, see if you can clarify it. Because both of you have done jack shit in that area so far. If I can't get a reason as to why it's there by tomorrow, I'm going to quit fucking around and delete it myself. Shit. [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:45, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::::: Herp derp, im not a troll derp. I read what you wrote and it's a valid point. The sensible thing to do would be to edit it out and say why in the summary, not rant on the talk page and make someone else fix it. Make it so. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:47, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::::: Also, as for the "both of you have done jack shit in that area so far", this is my second account. If you're looking for my contributions, look at [[Special:Contributions/Thelieisacake|this shit.]] [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:50, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::: My bad, I get what you're saying. I was just unsure of what we can and can't edit (Clyde threw down the hammer when it came to that dude wanting to edit that terribly-written coffee place article). I'mma deleting it now. Sorry I flew off the handle, it was slow-in-the-mind of me. We can delete this whole thread if you want. EDIT: I like what you did. Good job. Y'know it's too bad Clyde doesn't really have $9001, he could give it to Cogs so CWCki would have a server that doesn't crash more than a narcoleptic.[[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:54, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::::Don't worry about it, shit happens. If Clyde were to flip shit for no reason, he wouldn't be a mod for long. As long as you can justify your edits, they will stay. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:58, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::::It astonishes me how many people don't understand the value of the Coffee Place article or its submitter. It's a fine piece of fieldwork from one of our best trolls. And it should be extremely obvious from even a cursory reading why. [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 16:36, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::::::::[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|center]]
::::::::I can't see Chris. CAN YOU? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:40, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::::::Also, again, Jenkins hasn't done shit. Now let's stop bickering about Jenkins before we get NOT A FORUM slapped at the top. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:44, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:I would like to point out that 1) I was the guy who wrote that part, 2) I probably misread that part of the e-mail when I did read it and 3) was bitching about something that didn't look right ''really'' necessary? Seriously, man, ''it's an error''. I'll go correct it.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:56, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::1) Cool story, bro. 2) Nice, bro. 3) "Should we really point out the errors in our articles?" Well yeah. He didn't do it the way we normally do, but that doesn't make his point invalid. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:11, 4 September 2010 (PDT)
:How about next time you see an error, you correct it instead of bitching about it on a talk page --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 10:04, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

== Date bought ==

If it says 2007, then he's not lying. PS3 was released in late '''06''' in America. Hell, it was even out in Yoorup that date. --[[User:AlfredNTheFettuc|AlfredNTheFettuc]] 13:19, 5 September 2010 (PDT)

User talk:AlfredNTheFettuc

2010-09-03T19:35:27Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Teraz Polska */

Template:PS3

2010-09-03T18:14:26Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #000
|box-bg-col= #fff
|id-bg-col= #fff
|id-border-col= #fff
|info-col= #000
|info-bg-col= #fff
|info-border-col = #fff
|id= [[Image:PS3 icon.png|50px|PS3]]
|info= '''[[PS3]]''' This user is in possession of a [[PS3|life upgrade]], and treats it with the respect it deserves - [[The MovingFoward videos|unlike Chris]].}}<noinclude>[[Category:Userboxes|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude><includeonly>[[Category:CWCkipedians who own a life upgrade|{{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>

File:TypicalCWCkiPage.png

2010-09-03T13:45:03Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

CWCville

2010-09-03T13:43:14Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Name */ I'm Polish and we don't have names like this. The Wales part is true.

[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] [[Wikipedia:North Korea|no elections]].|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]}}

<center>{{#ev:youtube|8UP6mEJrj1I}}</center>

'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is [[Chris]]'s imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.

{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
! CWCville
|-
|'''Flag''' (Ceremonial)
|[[File:Cwcflag1.png|200px|The ceremonial flag of CWCville.]]
|-
|'''Flag''' (National)
|[[File:Newflag1.png|The national flag of CWCville.]]
|-
| '''Location'''
| Virginia, U.S.
|-
| '''Coordinates'''
| Unknown, possibly the same as [[Charlottesville]] in a parallel universe, far from [[Molvanîa]]
|-
| '''Date established'''
| ''Fictional'': 1982 ''Real world:'' 2000
|-
| '''Population'''
| Moderately small. Mixed population of humans, Pokémon, and ripoffs
|-
|'''Political Ideology'''
| Chandlerian Socialism
|-
| '''Area code'''
| N/A, communication system relies on classified Nintendo DS link
|-
| '''Website'''
| None (formerly ''The CWCipedia'')
|-
| '''Also known as'''
| Chris's mind, CWCistan, The People's Democratic Republic of CWCville, The Confederate States of CWCville, Hell, etc.
|-
| '''Exports'''
| Excessive undeveloped characters, blatant ripoffs, autistic manchildren, semen
|-
| '''Current relevance'''
| Main location of events in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe
|}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville. Note that CWCville's postal code is the same as Chris's birthday, and that the address is nearly identical to his real address.]]
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|The toys that started it all.]]
[[File:cwcville1.jpg|thumb|A slightly more detailed drawing of CWCville.]]

CWCville is the setting of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', a city in Virginia of which Chris is Mayor for life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect his bias toward himself. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in his comic, Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref> Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the ''Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville'', in a manner similar to [http://www.korea-dpr.com/ The Democratic People's Republic of Korea].

It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[ego]] stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, [[Patti Chandler]], back to life in the form of another inhabitant. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts as defeating a whole army of huge [[Jerkops]] and resurrecting his dead dog is that in CWCville his will reigns supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world in which he holds no such power.

Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32/> In his willingness to educate, and his confusion at negative reactions to his answers, Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.

The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed [[LEGO]] kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade Sonichu items together on one table in his room. The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref> in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.

Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes", as if Chicago, for example, was less important than Charlottesville.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,<ref name=p32>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32]</ref> also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world.

==Name==

One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon cards]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym," while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)

Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're Welsh in which case it would be pronounced "cookville". In [[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]], Chris slams [[Evan]] and fails once again, spectacularly, to realize the seeds of truth buried in parodies.

==Government and politics==
{{Quote|And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING|Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]].}}

[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Notice how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]].]]
[[Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved [[Chris|Mayor.]]]]
[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked. (Note the "SS" runes.)]]
[[File:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris and his men weilding the CWCville ceremonial flag while on parade in Town Square.]]

According to [[Sonichu 8]], CWCville was founded in [[1982]] by Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only [[GodJesus]] knows why it wasn't called RFCville.

According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections. There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the Cwcville Trade Center Building. Exactly how CWCville's government operates is unknown. Chandler is mayor-for-life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections, but he has also insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]]. Voting is strictly for the Town Council, which holds no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the mayor is not obligated to listen to. The mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he [[Mailbag 34#The government totally sucks|inherited the town from his father]] (even though many dictatorships ''are'' hereditary, e.g. Kim Jong-il succeeded his father Kim Il-sung, and "Baby Doc" succeeded "Papa Doc" in Haiti). However, he refuses to acknowledge that this obviously makes his town a ''monarchy'', by explaining that all other government positions are voted on (even though such a practice is found in many modern monarchies, even absolute ones). It's also revealed that the name of the town was changed when it was passed from father to son, though whether or not the town was originally known as "RFCville", or something marginally less retarded is unknown, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of ''[[Wikipedia:damnatio memoriae|damnatio memoriae]]'', where all records of a traitor: statues, etc., are erased after his death). It is theorized that one day Christian will hand over the reins of governance to his daughter, [[Crystal]] Weston Chandler, in which case the town's name will not go through another change.

On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville and that he was going to CWCville Jail to get raped by [[niggos]]. The next day, 4 March 2009, Chris revoked his statement that made MAYS the new mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in his bedroom. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion of Fail]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST (and any retraction otherwise would involve him wearing the medallion to make his retraction legally binding), his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS is still the mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS snorted too much cocaine and died in his mayoral mansion, plunging the entire town into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a [[Chris_chan_Discusses|post-coup interview]] that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doublethink he was always the ruler], and that there would be no further elections.

The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random, [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Comic|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was rescinded.

Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]; in a predictable display of bureaucratic cluelessness, this important task has been somehow handed to [[Magi-Chan|an obvious closet case]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to have any oversight over a super-powered official or question or contest his findings (and [[Mailbag|disputing the authority has been futile in general]]), it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted — though sensibly, he has not written it into actual ''law'', otherwise all international observers would condemn his actions at once — that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the Comics|immunity from prosecution]]. This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.

CWCville has a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|large police force equipped with weapons and TANKS, and even an entire division of the U.S. Army]]; all these units, as said before, are above law. These groups appear frequently all around the city enforcing the laws, giving grim reminders of their existence to the common public every day, dragging the morale down. Any attempts at humor are prosecuted swiftly and severely under the draconian laws that are based on [[Chris and copyright|curious misinterpretations]] of international copyright laws. Dissident comedians who flee the city are hunted down and gruesomely executed (with the emphasis on "cute") by [[Sandy Rosechu|underage assassins]]. Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remain at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].

The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[jerkops]] and [[manajerks]] are depowered, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] is murdered by a Voltorb, four people - [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Sean]] and Mao are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in ''[[Chris|cruel and inhumane ways]]''.

The basic services are lacking: Packs of wild Pokémon roam the streets, uncontrolled. The mayor wastes precious [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]] on [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|oversize novelty drinking straws]] and [[Patti-chan|credit cards for dogs]]. As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], there were 10 homeless shelters set up: [[Mailbag 20|Chris himself]] claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house an indigent population of 900-1,800 individuals, and come equipped with free cable TV. The mayor's personal friends, such as Sonichu, live in state-sponsored, suburban housing.

'''tl;dr''' CWCville is a banana republic that makes most African countries look like the world's best places to live.

==Economy==
CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over; the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. Tobacco, unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry. With the banning of anything tobacco related, CWCville loses hundreds of millions of dollars a year in tax revenues, jobs and investment.

CWCville also mints its own money, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, which are mutually exclusive to the point where vending machines will take only one or the other, and the exchange rate between the two is uncertain (usually 10 C's = 1 W). The confusing fiscal policy has contributed to hyperinflation and extreme poverty throughout the city.

==Flora and fauna==
[[Image:zapbud.jpg|thumb|Zapbud]]
CWCville, like the rest of Virginia, has a temperate climate and is suitable for large-scale agriculture. Years of economic decline, however, have seen CWCville's environs diverge greatly from those of its neighboring cities. Its forests growing thicker, and its fields returning to nature, CWCville is an excellent laboratory for the avid naturalist. Pokémon roam in the forests; zapbuds fill the fields.

Zapbuds have quickly established themselves in the surrounding ecosystems. Aside "healing woes", relatively little is known of them. They have four petals, possibly resembling buds of some sort in their normal state, and the "zap" and electrical hazard symbol suggest that it might not be the brightest idea to pee in the middle of a zapbud field.

==Anomalies==

It is curious to note that while Chris reigns supreme over his imaginary town, it is still subject to the will of other people (as evidenced by BILLY MAYS' election). This gives a small insight into the workings of Chris's mind, as it implies a belief in the non-physical reality of the realm in his own mind. Any sane person could agree to "proclaim" BILLY MAYS the mayor of their fictional city with an offhand shrug, since it doesn't actually ''mean'' anything. They certainly wouldn't take it seriously enough to feel the need to clarify that they didn't mean it. The long and short of this is that Chris's creations are, to him, subject to certain metaphysical laws and structures which IRL he is unable or unwilling to comprehend. This suggests that if efforts were made to convince Chris that, for example, Sonichu had terminal cancer, Chris would either vehemently insist this is not the case, or accept it and claim that he has, in the comic, discovered a cure for cancer.
==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.onetruecwcville.net/index.php onetruecwcville.net]
* [http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCVille Chronicles]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1CIn7qkaY CWCville Mayor Campaign 2010]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyevn2-MU7I CWCville's National Anthem]

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Sonichu]]

White knight

2010-08-30T23:08:34Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* The trolling helps Chris, and indeed others */

[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the internet to help or defend someone else on the internet against other people on the internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris-chan has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving or even beyond such assistance. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[Racism|racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him on good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! [[Kick the Autistic]] is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref> [[Sonichu 7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets [[Family Guy]] as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Chris and his Ego]]''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he [[Dating education|magically dreams up his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to dealt with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions," Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading Sonichu, Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "Pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===

Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a misogynist has nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]
Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids in card games]] and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the internet, couldn't list any redeemable qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he [[The July 10th Messages|addressed a person named 'SonichuIzCool']] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''was'') probably the only genuine fan of Sonichu discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]". He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center terror attacks]]. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but he used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right| Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son, Mike Junior or not]]. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], allowed him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[Youtube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and can not make the video. Mike Jr. is married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grieves and anger with three words " [[Chris and remorse|I am sorry.]]"

===Chris cares only for himself===

Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]]}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans." He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===

[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]

Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try". Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===

* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===

Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]], and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===

Hell-bent on spreading his version of the truth because he's True and Honest, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing, so what's the problem?]]

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?

===Chris made himself an outcast===

High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the Dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction_sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The Game Place (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===

In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_21st,_2008|Crash Into Slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===

The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===

Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna_McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home.

If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet.

If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS0kIavTfic real life trolls] at the mental hospital.

If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to circumstances that cannot be foreseen, he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertations of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris, and indeed others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, but he's slow to act as well; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the Sonichu comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later.''

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

==Examples==

:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

[[Svenka]] is a counter-troll.

On 6 [[May 2009]], [[YouTube]] user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS.'''

====TV Tropes====

[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on Sonichu] used to have a white-knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. [[white knight|Please listen to us - for once.]]|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, TV Tropes doesn't have as much experience with Chris as we do and fails to realize that [[chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

For reasons unknown, the message was removed.

==In Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal man alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three afore-mentioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely.]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

File:ChrisChanIn5Years.jpg

2010-08-30T22:47:40Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: Created page with "Category:Chris-Chan (fanart)"

[[Category:Chris-Chan (fanart)]]

Chris and video games

2010-08-30T15:52:08Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Chris the console warrior */ ME2 is coming to PS3 already. I wonder if he's going to get it if he discovers that part of it is a dating sim...

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game once, but it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]

[[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris may well spend more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[sweetheart|a woman]] who will emerge from the internet and have sex with him. He [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he'll admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all. In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. Reality isn't so simple, which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==

Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He had a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System and a Game Boy before he was eight years old and acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to the [[Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spiderman]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's video games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly 700 different game titles across 19 different platforms. [[Sony]] consoles dominate his collection — counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings up the rear. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console; however, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for — there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more egregious examples of Chris's video game related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available — what he talks about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around — Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene productions. Even his beloved ''[[Brutal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned, even if it's an M-rated title full of foul language and heavy metal music.

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely common or extremely shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for Sewer Shark, except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.

One would figure Chris to be a big Nintendo fan, but other than [[Pokémon]] and ''Animal Crossing'', franchises that are actually loathed by hardcore Nintendo gamers, he shows little interest in the games that actually keep Nintendo's underpowered systems alive to begin with. He never seems to show interest in high-profile games like ''Super Mario Galaxy 2'' or ''Metroid: Other M'', and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (like ''Metroid Prime'', ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time'' and ''Super Mario World'') are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks. He also owns almost no sports games. In the Mailbag, he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he didn't explain exactly why.

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. Games like ''Call of Duty'' or ''Grand Theft Auto'', examples of "hardcore" games aimed at adults are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[anime|weeaboo]]" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brutal Legend'') and Europe (''Burnout'', ''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese GameBoy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe Megan Schroeder — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile [[Hex Bawx]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Video_games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The Game Place]].

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the $50 annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a cave-dwelling autistic, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the Gamecube, stating that both forerunner to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]]. It is unknown at which point Chris defected to Sony, nor the reasons for doing so. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

There is one Xbox 360 game he seems to be very interested in. [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], which is seen in [[Sonichu 10]] being modified for the PS3. Out of all the Xbox 360 games, he picks some crappy dating sim no one in their right mind would be interested in. This, of course, is entirely predictable of Chris.

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PSN. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger's syndrome]].

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. He might also own a copy of the first Lego Island game for PC (as seen by his possession of the Infomaniac minifigure - which was only obtainable from early copies of the said game). In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network, but he doesn't seem to spend too much of his time actively following more dedicated gaming websites or message boards. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the GameBoy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with Megan's quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===
One of the great ironies of Chris's existence is that he loves to create and share his creations, even though he possesses almost no genuine innate creativity. He tends to gravitate strongly towards video games that allow him to create his own content and share it online.

Since console games are often not modifiable, while PC game modding tends to demand more technical skill than he possesses, Chris has only been able to show off his creativity in this field so much. That said, the PS3 games ''LittleBigPlanet'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' exerted a powerful grip on him with their customization capabilities. Chris made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' dropping out of sight for the better part of a month when he first acquired the retail version of the game. Likewise, he has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''ModNation Racers'', and it resulted in a similar disappearance during the summer of 2010. His output hasn't shown too much actual competence, but it's not for lack of time and effort spent.

Even in games that offer only light customization features, Chris makes a point of personalizing his experience as much as possible. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his virtual bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply colossal. According to the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Grind Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX'', even though both games limit their customization options to things like swapping around car parts or personalizing small decals.

Likewise, as the gallery below displays, Chris enjoys customizing his game hardware. He's splattered Sonichu artwork all over his Gamecube, a Nintendo DS, a couple of Game Boy Advances, a PSP, and possibly other consoles or handhelds. One of his [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers]] also appears to have received the Sonichu treatment, being repainted in blue and yellow.

==Chris's perception on video game technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games or video game consoles work. For example, as seen in a panel of Sonichu 10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!"). He could easily check and see that this is not true, but possibly he hasn't tried putting his LBP copy into his Wii yet because the [[Jerkops|cops]] would stop him.

Neither is he aware of what the technology is currently capable of. As stated in the survey of [[Chris and reality]], he once suggested that Nintendo should create a Poké Ball peripheral which could display holographs, holographs of the kind we can only see in science ficton right now.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:12754305083.jpg
Image:127539439799.jpg
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[Club Nintendo]] - With details on Chris's Wii download collection
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Marvel at the massive waste of taxpayer dollars
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]] - Speaking of taxpayer dollars...
* ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' - The game that ate November 2008, Chris's favorite title of the last few years
* [[PS3]] - Chris's "life upgrade" and current console of choice

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2010-08-28T21:44:09Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Master Onion A-La Mode */ This isn't WMM. I don't know what camera/software did he use here, but the only time he ever used WMM was Rollin' and Trollin'.

{{quote|I [[curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you [[Dream]] Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

[[Image:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest.]]

In [[June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment [[America]] (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two [[PSP]]s and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be understated. Failure to win the contest was not an option.

==Master Onion A-La Mode==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| image = {{#ev:youtube|cEmM4JKZK8I}}
| Stardate = 29 [[June 2007]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Comedy|text}}
| Saga = {{Stackhouse|text}}
| Shirt = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Soul_Calibur#Chris_vs_Mary_Lee_Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next = [[CWC_is_Angry#Video|CWC is Angry]]
}}

To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ3o3kQZWm8 Chop Chop Master Onion Rap]. Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well, considering that he reads its lyrics while "performing," not bothering to rehearse/learn the lines. But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared? Oddly, he peppers the video with various video effects that seem to come from what is likely the default video editing program of EyeToy/PSEye, including a hilarious caption of "Birthday Boy" popping up during one point. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice', only for it to turn into laughing material. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise.

{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more) }}

<center>What Chris considers 5 out of 5 level material.

===Transcript===

<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and [[Homo|go with him now.]]
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

[[CWC Fighter|Kick! Punch!]] It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get rocky,
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck|Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a tit-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

[[Guitar Hero]] on [[PlayStation 3]]
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem></center>

==Campaign==

Chris's video made it into the top 10, probably because a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]].

At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving the flier to them. Of course, no one voted for Chris.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref> He took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts.

Chris also badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote for him. In return for his vote, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Chris wasn't interested in Cole's plight, and in return Cole never voted for him.

On the day before voting ended, Chris posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, not surprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]], whom Chris bears a grudge against as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video counts as ''a cappella''. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

The irony is Chris actually violated [http://images.innovyx.net/dp/scea/PSP/adhoc/062507/rules.html?ILC-Boards&LINK=CHOPCHOP062607 da rules] by making up bits and pieces of his own lyrics, as seen above. Just about the only logical reason Chris got as far as he did is that the judges had ''never quite seen anything like this before.''

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (No, we have no idea why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)
{{-}}
==Aftermath==

Because Chris was infuriated that he did not win the trip to Seattle, he sent an e-mail to the company that ran the contest to cry foul on [[Chris E-mails 2007#August|03 August 2007]]:

{{quote|[[Chris and His Ego|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP]] SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*

I had my fantasies of having fun with Megan, taking her to a really extravagent ''[sic]'' destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

[[CWC_is_Sad|Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.]]

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

Yes, Chris really did tell a complete stranger he should have won that contest because he wanted to fuck his best friend.

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against [[Adam Stackhouse]] and the other winners, using his favorite "[[Kick the Autistic]]" crutch. When people advised him to relax, he told them to shut up. As a result, he was put on a time out by an admin.

Two days later, Chris continued his rampage against Adam Stackhouse, during which he created a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. He went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the Honest, Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

During Christian's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost and that she would never have gone with him on the trip if he had won. Also, Chris claims to have contracted a "[[dirty crapped briefs|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body making this video.

There are actually two versions of the video. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. Either this version is the original version ''before'' Megan broke up with Chris, and Chris had to remove her picture to make amends, or the video with the picture was made ''much'' later, due to Chris's pangs of agony over long-lost love.

Regarding Adam, Chris made a video where, in silence, he [[CWC is Angry|repeatedly shot with a toy gun at a photo of Adam]].

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to comfort himself on losing the contest. Parappatherapingdog. Good job.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7V1gEjtmm9M}}
| Maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| Stardate = 9 January 2010
| Video Type = Remix
}}

==Sauces==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FFI3HKPS Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]][[Category: Events]][[Category: Contests]][[Category: Yo! CWC Raps]]

User:AlfredNTheFettuc

2010-08-26T22:55:05Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: Created page with "{{Eurofag}}{{PS3}}{{Wii}}{{Hex-Box}}{{White}}"

Chris and video games

2010-08-26T19:11:23Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Chris and PC games */

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game once, but it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]

[[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris may well spend more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[sweetheart|a woman]] who will emerge from the internet and have sex with him. He [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he'll admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all. In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. Reality isn't so simple, which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==

Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He had a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System and a Game Boy before he was eight years old and acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to the [[Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spiderman]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's video games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly 700 different game titles across 19 different platforms. [[Sony]] consoles dominate his collection — counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings up the rear. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console; however, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for — there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more egregious examples of Chris's video game related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available — what he talks about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around — Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene productions. Even his beloved ''[[Brutal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned, even if it's an M-rated title full of foul language and heavy metal music.

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely common or extremely shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for Sewer Shark, except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.

One would figure Chris to be a big Nintendo fan, but other than [[Pokémon]] and ''Animal Crossing'', franchises that are actually loathed by hardcore Nintendo gamers, he shows little interest in the games that actually keep Nintendo's underpowered systems alive to begin with. He never seems to show interest in high-profile games like ''Super Mario Galaxy 2'' or ''Metroid: Other M'', and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (like ''Metroid Prime'', ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time'' and ''Super Mario World'') are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks. He also owns almost no sports games. In the Mailbag, he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he didn't explain exactly why.

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. Games like ''Call of Duty'' or ''Grand Theft Auto'', examples of "hardcore" games aimed at adults are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[anime|weeaboo]]" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brutal Legend'') and Europe (''Burnout'', ''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese GameBoy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe Megan Schroeder — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile [[Hex Bawx]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Video_games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The Game Place]].

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the $50 annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a cave-dwelling autistic, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the Gamecube, stating that both forerunner to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]]. It is unknown at which point Chris defected to Sony, nor the reasons for doing so. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

There is one Xbox 360 game he seems to be very interested in. [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], which is seen in [[Sonichu 10]] being modified for the PS3. Instead of fantasizing of something like ''Mass Effect 2'' being ported, he picks some crappy dating sim no one in their right mind would be interested in. This, of course, is entirely predictable of Chris.

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PSN. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger's syndrome]].

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. He might also own a copy of the first Lego Island game for PC (as seen by his possession of the Infomaniac minifigure - which was only obtainable from early copies of the said game). In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network, but he doesn't seem to spend too much of his time actively following more dedicated gaming websites or message boards. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the GameBoy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with Megan's quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===
One of the great ironies of Chris's existence is that he loves to create and share his creations, even though he possesses almost no genuine innate creativity. He tends to gravitate strongly towards video games that allow him to create his own content and share it online.

Since console games are often not modifiable, while PC game modding tends to demand more technical skill than he possesses, Chris has only been able to show off his creativity in this field so much. That said, the PS3 games ''LittleBigPlanet'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' exerted a powerful grip on him with their customization capabilities. Chris made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' dropping out of sight for the better part of a month when he first acquired the retail version of the game. Likewise, he has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''ModNation Racers'', and it resulted in a similar disappearance during the summer of 2010. His output hasn't shown too much actual competence, but it's not for lack of time and effort spent.

Even in games that offer only light customization features, Chris makes a point of personalizing his experience as much as possible. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his virtual bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply colossal. According to the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Grind Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX'', even though both games limit their customization options to things like swapping around car parts and choosing colors and decals.

==Chris's perception on video game technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games work. For example, as seen in a panel of Sonichu 10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!) - he could easily check this is not true, but he didn't try putting his LBP copy into his Wii yet because the [[Jerkops|cops]] would stop him.

Neither is he aware of what the technology is currently capable of - as stated on "[[Chris and reality]]" page, he once suggested Nintendo to create a Pokeball peripheral which could display holographs - holographs of the kind we can only see in science ficton right now.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:12754305083.jpg
Image:127539439799.jpg
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[Club Nintendo]] - With details on Chris's Wii download collection
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Marvel at the massive waste of taxpayer dollars
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]] - Speaking of taxpayer dollars...
* ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' - The game that ate November 2008, Chris's favorite title of the last few years
* [[PS3]] - Chris's "life upgrade" and current console of choice

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Lego

2010-08-26T18:46:38Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

[[Image:118-LegoCWC.jpg|thumb|Chris is just as [[fail]] in his Lego form as in any other]]

'''Lego'''™ is a brand of plastic building block [[toys]]. They are noted for their durability and ease of use allowing the creation of almost anything imaginable.

[[Chris]] has relied heavily on Lego blocks to put his creations into reality. They were a staple gift during his childhood [[Christmas]]. And his late teens. And his early twenties...

Truth is, there are many AFOLs (Adult Fan Of Lego) around the world - some of them are even in their 40s and have their families and kids. Chris obviously isn't one of them.

== Chris Lego Brick creations ==
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|Panoramic vista of [[CWCville]], in all its blocky glory|thumb]]

* [[Pixelated PS3]] (also made with [[Pixelblocks]])
* Model [[CWCville]]
* [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
* [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag "Heavy-duty case"] to hold his [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|Pokémon]] card decks, acknowledged by Chris as one of his most noteworthy [[inventions]] (also held together with tape)

Chris has also found other uses for his Legos besides simply building stuff. In his [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|AIM chat]] with Vivian Gee, he noted that he uses his Lego figurines to "rehearse" imaginary conversations with women.

== Influences ==
Bionicle, a very successful line of sets based on the adventures of biomechanical beings each gifted with elemental powers, may have (along with ''[[Pokémon]]'') influenced the creation of the [[Chaotic Combo]]. It should be noted, however, that the former came out about four years later than the latter, so Pokemon likely left their imprint first, especially since it had more elemental types.

Inspired by his [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] have a pair of Lego go-karts [[:File:SchuComic9P35.jpg|in their garage]], the only vehicles they are shown to possess. This raises a number of problems; firstly, we are expected to believe that a bunch of giant plastic blocks, held together by frictional force alone, without visible seatbelts or a rollover cage, constitutes a road-safe vehicle. Second, each kart can only seat one individual. That's fine and dandy for the two adults, but where does that leave their children? Lastly, as they lack proper seats and possess a studded surface, they would be uncomfortable to drive in.

== 启蒙 (Enlighten) Bricks Police Station set==

[[Image:Comparisonsmall2.jpg|thumb|One of these things is not like the other...]]

In one of Chris's birthday photos he is seen holding what appears to be a new Lego "6332-1 - Command Post Central".<ref>Link to Peeron page on set [http://www.peeron.com/inv/sets/6332-1 "6332-1 Command Post Central"]</ref> Upon further inspection it is apparent that is merely a rebranded 启蒙 Bricks "POLICE SERIES" set which is almost a direct clone of the original Lego set. Presumably the 启蒙 Bricks logo was altered by a third party and replaced with "LEGO bricks." Chris's parents probably bought it relatively cheap at a discount store that carries knock-off brands, so it's not like they were shopping for a quality present for Chris in the first place. It should be noted that 启蒙 Bricks are much more fragile than Lego and are of generally much poorer quality than Lego sets are, something that probably went unnoticed by Chris.

==Gallery==
<center>
{{cg|Gallery of Legos|legogallery|center|<gallery>
Image:0092-Christians14th.jpg|Spyrius, fuck yeah! Christian's 14th birthday.
Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[2005]]. Proof of pirated toy, look at the "Brick" font. Note that he is ''23'' in this photo.
Image:0784-LegoPS3-1.JPG|The [[pixelated PS3]] of fail.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[1996]]
Image:400-LegKrt1.jpg|If you have no idea how to make your own Lego Go-Cart, Chris has your back.
Image:401-LegKrt2.jpg
Image:0424-CwcvilleBandStand1.jpg|A Lego gift to [[Cole Smithey]], perhaps Chris's first [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|band]]?
Image:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|A better view.
Image:0426-InformationCenter1.jpg|A model of the Information Center from Lego Island.
Image:0427-InformationCenter2.jpg|A rear view of the Information Center
Image:0428-InformationCenter3.jpg|Further away view of Information Center.
Image:0429-ChristianWTallStack1.jpg|A face expressing either pride or gas
Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|[[Duck|More than seven inches long!]]
Image:0431-CWCNuculus.jpg
Image:0440-CWCAndHis9Karts.jpg
Image:0438-CWCsMarioKartsX8.jpg
Image:0439-CWCsMarioKartsX9.jpg
Image:0441-MarioKartGPGroup.jpg
Image:0443-9KartCarrier1.jpg
Image:0785-LegoPS3-2.JPG|Moar of the pixelated PS3.
Image:0783-LegoPS3AndGuitar.JPG|Pixelated PS3 and the [[Gitar]].
Image:0111-LegoWalkman1.jpg|An earlier effort: The Lego Walkman
Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|Bionicle, the door's poster and figures in upper left corner.
Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|TIE Fighters zoom above a part of Lego CWCville
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg
Image:0824-EP12-5P6-9.jpg|CWCville: An overbuilt Hell-hole ruled by a man-child.
Image:0826-EP12-5P6-7.jpg|The money that paid for this could have gone to cancer patients.
</gallery>}}
</center>

==See also==
[[File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|thumb|Lego Chris in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

*[[List of Chris's games]]
*[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
*[[Pixelblocks]]
*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Hobbies]]

Talk:Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance

2010-08-23T10:52:40Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

==Theory==

I have an idea as to what the spelling might mean. Since it's an attack that can only be used by Chr'''i'''s and Chr'''y'''stal together, Chris only keeps the letters both of them have to indicate that it's a duo attack.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 23:20, 22 August 2010 (PDT)
: But there's no "h" in "Crystal". I've never even seen Chris spell it that way. --[[User:AlfredNTheFettuc|AlfredNTheFettuc]] 03:52, 23 August 2010 (PDT)

File:RonaldWTF.png

2010-08-20T00:18:07Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: uploaded a new version of "File:RonaldWTF.png": Reverted to version as of 00:17, 20 August 2010 fuck up again...

File:RonaldWTF.png

2010-08-20T00:17:51Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: uploaded a new version of "File:RonaldWTF.png": Reverted to version as of 07:27, 8 August 2010 something fuckedup

File:RonaldWTF.png

2010-08-20T00:17:04Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: uploaded a new version of "File:RonaldWTF.png"

Wasabi Clan

2010-08-19T18:42:58Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* Behind the scenes */

[[Image:WasabiClan.png|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]], believing himself to have at least one Cherokee ancestor, has incorporated this heritage into the mythology of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics. Completely disregarding clans such as the Fox or even the Apaches, Chris established the '''Wasabi Clan''' as a rival tribe in the same area.

Wasabi is actually a spicy greenish paste, used as a condiment for Sushi and other elements of Asian cooking. Considering that Chris is a weeaboo, it wouldn't be surprising if he heard it while at a sushi restaurant (he mentioned sushi as one of his favorite foods at one point) and stole it for his own purposes.

==Fictional history==
[[File:Wasabi rival.jpg|thumb|The wasabi rival or the Pope, whatever.]]
According to ''[[Sonichu 2]]'', the Wasabi Clan were contemporaries of the Ancient Cherokee. One of the Wasabi somehow determined that stealing the Ancient [[Cherokian Crown]] from their [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|leader]] would allow him to rule the world. This led to a bitter rivalry between the ambitious Wasabi man and the Cherokian Leader.

Despite their differences, the Cherokian Leader and his Wasabi Rival were eventually able to forge a temporary alliance against the greater menace of [[Count Graduon]]. Together, the Wasabi and Cherokee defeated Graduon, imprisoning him within a magic sceptre for centuries. Nevertheless, the Wasabi still coveted the Cherokian Crown, and their failure to obtain it would persist as a source of tribal shame for centuries to come, causing them to cry "trails of tears", because that's totally [[Wikipedia:Trail of tears|what the Trail of Tears was]].

By the 21st century, all remnants of Wasabi culture had disappeared. The Wasabi themselves may have been killed or assimilated, leaving their proud tradition of cartoonish supervillainy to be forgotten.

==Legacy==
The Wasabi Rival used a magical charm called a "Fireshock Pendant" to counter the powers of the Cherokian Leader and his queen. At some point, the pendant was placed within the Destiny Cave, to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].

In 2005, the prophecy came to pass, and the Fireshock Pendant was bestowed upon the Wasabi Rival's [[Wes Iseli|distant descendant]], who used the power to renew the Wasabi's feud with the reincarnation of the Cherokee Leader (i.e., Chris).

At first, Wes-Li Sonichu used his powers to avenge the Wasabi's failure to steal the Cherokian Crown, until [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Sarah Hammer|Saramah Rosechu]] convinced him to help them defeat Count Graduon. Since then, Wes has abandoned all pretense of honoring the Wasabi, and appears to be using his powers for his own selfish interests.

==Behind the scenes==
Given the fire motif of Wes-Li Sonichu's powers, the name "Wasabi" was most likely Chris's idea of a clever reference to heat, since [[Wikipedia:wasabi|wasabi]] (a.k.a. Japanese horseradish) is a hot, spicy condiment (though given Chris's way of doing the research this could very well be a coincidence). The fact that ''wasabi'' is a Japanese word, coupled with the protologism "Cherokian," demonstrates Chris's utter ignorance of, and indifference to, Native American history and culture.

In point of fact, Chris knows very little of Wes Iseli beyond his romantic relationship with [[Sarah Hammer]] (his age in ''Sonichu'' #2 is listed as simply "??"). While Wes may indeed have some Native American ancestor, Chris arbitrarily assigns him one in the comic to make Wes a more suitable archnemesis.

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Clan]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category: Plot Devices]]

Chris and video games

2010-08-18T23:45:00Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: fix bad English plz

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game once, but it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]

[[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris may well spend more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[sweetheart|a woman]] who will emerge from the internet and have sex with him. He [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he'll admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all. In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. Reality isn't so simple, which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==

Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He had a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System and a Game Boy before he was eight years old and acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to the [[Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spiderman]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's video games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly 700 different game titles across 19 different platforms. [[Sony]] consoles dominate his collection — counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings up the rear. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console; however, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for — there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more egregious examples of Chris's video game related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available — what he talks about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around — Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene productions. Even his beloved ''[[Brutal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned, even if it's an M-rated title full of foul language and heavy metal music.

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely common or extremely shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for Sewer Shark, except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.

One would figure Chris to be a big Nintendo fan, but other than [[Pokémon]] and ''Animal Crossing'', franchises that are actually loathed by hardcore Nintendo gamers, he shows little interest in the games that actually keep Nintendo's underpowered systems alive to begin with. He never seems to show interest in high-profile games like ''Super Mario Galaxy 2'' or ''Metroid: Other M'', and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (like ''Metroid Prime'', ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time'' and ''Super Mario World'') are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks. He also owns almost no sports games. In the Mailbag, he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he didn't explain exactly why.

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. Games like ''Call of Duty'' or ''Grand Theft Auto'', examples of "hardcore" games aimed at adults are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[anime|weeaboo]]" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brutal Legend'') and Europe (''Burnout'', ''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese GameBoy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe Megan Schroeder — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile [[Hex Bawx]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Video_games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The Game Place]].

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the $50 annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a cave-dwelling autistic, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the Gamecube, stating that both forerunner to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]]. It is unknown at which point Chris defected to Sony, nor the reasons for doing so. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

There is one Xbox 360 game he seems to be very interested in. [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], which is seen in [[Sonichu 10]] being modified for the PS3. Instead of fantasizing of something like ''Mass Effect 2'' being ported, he picks some crappy dating sim no one in their right mind would be interested in. This, of course, is entirely predictable of Chris.

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PSN. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger's syndrome]].

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network, but he doesn't seem to spend too much of his time actively following more dedicated gaming websites or message boards. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the GameBoy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with Megan's quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===
Due to the fact that console games are often not moddable, Chris hasn't been able to show off his creativity in this field too much yet. That said, Chris has already made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' and has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''[[ModNation Racers]]''. He hasn't, however, shown too much actual competence.

Chris seems to also think that light customization features that the games offer are very important. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply colossal. According to [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Grind Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX''; In the latter, the customization is limited to swapping around car parts and choosing colors and decals.

==Chris's perception on video game technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games work. For example, as seen in a panel of Sonichu 10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!) - he could easily check this is not true, but he didn't try putting his LBP copy into his Wii yet because the [[Jerkops|cops]] would stop him.

Neither is he aware of what the technology is currently capable of - as stated on "[[Chris and reality]]" page, he once suggested Nintendo to create a Pokeball peripheral which could display holographs - holographs of the kind we can only see in science ficton right now.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:12754305083.jpg
Image:127539439799.jpg
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[Club Nintendo]] - With details on Chris's Wii download collection
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Marvel at the massive waste of taxpayer dollars
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]] - Speaking of taxpayer dollars...
* ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' - The game that ate November 2008, Chris's favorite title of the last few years
* [[PS3]] - Chris's "life upgrade" and current console of choice

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes

2010-07-29T09:44:10Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoon, the syndicated ''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' (not the more serious [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|Saturday morning show]]).

The contest's grand prize—a $1,000 video game shopping spree—was awarded to two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]]. This [[semen|seminal]] event marks both the high point of Chris's life and the first hint of his future decline into the manchild we know and troll today. The segment below was from [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] NBC affiliate [[Wikipedia:WVIR|WVIR]].

The video shows several revealing things, namely that Chris's verbal skills and fashion sense have not improved since he was twelve. In fact, the only thing that has visibly changed is his sense of entitlement.

Ever since winning the Sweepstakes, Chris has entered several other contests, expecting to win through the sheer power of his [[autism]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yGlFUf9ZEcM}}
| stardate = 26 [[1990s#1994|February 1994]]
| maker = NBC's WVVIR
| subject = {{Television|text}} {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RainbowBoy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Leaked]]}}
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Song of Christian#Part 1|Song of Christian]]
}}

===Transcript===

'''Anchorwoman''': Well, we've got a little more for ya, including what Sonic the Hedgehog means to a very special [[Charlottesville, VA]] boy. And the significance goes ''way'' beyond the [[List of Chris's lies|high score]] and [[List of videos|videos]].

[''one clip cuts out and another begins'']

'''Anchorwoman''': Finally, tonight, Sonic the Hedgehog is running [[Wild Sonichu|''wildly'']] in [[Chris's_homes#Cloverleaf_Lakes_Apartments|the Chandler household]] this weekend. 12-year-old Christian Chandler of Charlottesville was the winner in [[monthly tugboat|a video game shopping spree]]. Christian is one of only about a hundred winners nationally to receive [[Chris and money|''$1,000'']] worth of Sega games and equipment. For his parents, it’s just another example of how well he's doing. Christian is a high-functioning autistic child. This past fall, [[stress|of his own initiative]], he entered a contest based on a favorite cartoon character.

'''Chris''': It had to do was exactly… watch Sonic the Hedgehog… uh, ''cartoon''… an—and [[speech impediment|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it… and writin’ it down for [[Time Void|a whole week]]. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman''': And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then… ''move onto another!''

'''Co-anchor''': Unbelievable…

'''Anchorwoman''': I can't master any of ’em! That's it for ''now'', and it’s just… comin’ up on the NBA basketball game at 5:30. It’s not 6:30; it’s 5:30. We'll see you back here at 11:00. Thanks for watching.

'''Co-anchor''': Good night.

'''[[Niggos|Black]] anchorman''': Buh-bye.

[''one clip cuts out and another begins'']

'''Anchorwoman''': —winners nationally to receive ''$1,000'' worth of Sega video games and equipment. Christian ''is'' autistic, but his entering the contest completely of his own accord was a sign to his parents of how well he is getting along.

'''Chris''': It had to do was exactly… watch Sonic the Hedgehog… uh, ''cartoon''… an—and [[Punchy|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it… and writin’ it down for a whole week. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman''': And [[Bob|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for the boy to master one of the electronic games before he moves onto another one.

==See also==

*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=n/a|nextlink=[[Song of Christian]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Sonichu Advance

2010-07-26T14:25:53Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

'''''Sonichu Advance''''' is Chris's proposed [[Sonichu]] game for Gameboy Advance.

The title, ''Sonichu Advance'', is a [[Things Chris has ripped off|reference]] to the ''Sonic Advance'' series. These were GBA installments of Sega Genesis-style ''[[Sonic]]'' games with sprites updated to the ''Sonic Adventure'' art-style, and other graphical improvements.

''Sonichu Advance'' first featured in an advertisement in ''[[Sonichu 0]]''. It also appeared on Chris's second hand-drawn ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' cover, as featured in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|Sonichu Chronicles]] Powerpoint presentation for Nintendo.

== Gallery ==

<gallery>
Image:Sonichu_on_Game_Boy_Advance.jpg|In ''Sonichu 0''
Image:002-CWCsSonichuBook.jpg|On ''Nintendo Power''
</gallery>

{{Sonichu Games}}

[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:stubs]]

Zelina Rosechu

2010-07-22T17:58:25Z

AlfredNTheFettuc: /* "Inspirations" */

[[Zelina Rosechu]] (born 21 August [[1988]]<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms]</ref>) is a [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] and yet another pathetic rip-off of [[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck|Darkwing Duck]] and [[Wikipedia:Princess Zelda|Princess Zelda]] from the [[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda|The Legend of Zelda]] ([[Darkbind Sonichu|as if one ripoff of two good things wasn't enough]]). As watered down and useless as Darkbind was, he would never have or will be as bad as his girlfriend.

==History==

[[Image: Zelina.jpg|thumb|250px|right|BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW]]
Princess Zelina first appears in a flashback in [[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]], when Darkbind worries that his quest to save her may be put on hold. The two lived in the land of "[[wikipedia:Hyrule|RuleCWC]]", where she presumably reigned as princess, until the evil [[Clawdorf]] unleashed the power of the Sonichu Balls from an ancient tablet. In the process, Clawdorf cursed "eternal sleep over our princess", and "it" backfired on him, transmuting the wizard into stone.

On top of all that, Darkbind was just about to propose to Zelina when she succumbed to the curse. Sheesh.

After raping Zelina in her sleep several times, Darkbind set out to find the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], which he somehow decided could awaken Zelina and break the curse. He eventually found two, but later learned that the Sonichu Balls would also be needed to free [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]].

In [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]], Zelina is awakened by [[Ultra Sonichu]]. She and Darkbind share a [[Hanky panky|loving embrace]] while Sonichu heads off to [[Asperchu|Minnesota]].

It should be noted that Zelina's entire reaction to discovering that she had been in a coma for ten years was to say "[[fail|aww]]".
{{clear}}
=="Inspirations"==
Assuming a perfect alignment with the characters Darkbind plagiarizes, Zelina would be a rip-off of the following:
* [[Amy Rose]]
* [[Raichu]]
* [[Wikipedia:Princess Zelda|Princess Zelda]]
* [[Wikipedia:Morgana Macawber|Morgana Macawber]] (Darkwing [[Duck]]'s girlfriend)

Additionally, Zelina looks exactly like [[Crystalina Rosechu]] with different clothes and name, which goes to show how quickly Chris ran out of variations on Amy Rose with a Raichu tail and was forced to rip off one of his own characters.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See Also==
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Clawdorf]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Lolisa Rosechu]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category: Sonichu]] [[Category: Characters]] [[Category: Plot Devices]]

2011

2010-07-21T17:04:42Z

AlfredNTheFettuc:

[[Image:FutureChris.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in '''2011''']]
[[Image:The toppling of Christian.jpg|thumb|'''February 24:''' A year after the proclamation of [[Christian Love Day]], the citizens of [[CWCville]] revolt against their tyrant]]

Things <s>planned</s> that will happen in '''2011''':

*[[Scampers Chandler|Scampers]] runs away. ''(go go Scampers! :3)''
*[[Bob Chandler]] finally goes to cut down the [[Internet]] in Heaven.
*[[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] is officially recognized by the [[America]]n Psychological Association and listed in DSM-V.
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' & ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu the Game]]'' are released as [[Hex Bawx|Project Natal]] exclusive titles, earning Chris millions and mad [[lie|poon]], but at the compromise of his beliefs. Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to [[Wii]] and [[PS3]]. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
*Hasbro releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "[[Kick the Autistic]]" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
*With her cat and husband gone and her son a total failure, [[Barbara Chandler]] attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
*Chris goes to the [[Charlottesville]] [[Mal-Wart]] armed with an [[IBA Chandler]] sniper rifle. In a fit of tard rage, he fires at several [[manager]]s and [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend un-free boys]], missing every time.
*Chris is sentenced to six months house arrest for his failed rampage. He starts storming [[YouTube]] with meaningless [[PSEye]] videos again and tries to convince women to come to his house.
*Chris is released from house arrest, and soon proceeds to run over two people with [[Son-Chu]] while pretending his car is a [[Transformers|Transformer]].
*For his crime, Chris is sentenced to two years in prison. He struggles to STAY STRAIGHT, but is raped by [[niggos]] daily.
*Chris is let off after one month for good behavior, and is instead sentenced to house arrest, yet again...
*Virginian [[police]] discover the corpse of a [[Zapina|14-year-old girl]] who had been [[rape]]d several miles from [[14 Branchland Court]]. Numerous signs of trauma to her [[vagina]], traces of [[semen]] and [[Fanta]] are found on the corpse. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Officer [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to bring the perpetrator to justice.
*Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]" by stitching together their various body parts and tries to reanimate them using the Anchuent powers of his [[Amnyfest Ring]], the [[Heart Torch of Fail]], and his [[PS3]]. None of the methods work.
*[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Maya shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun: the end has begun.
*Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in Son-Chu down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a vintage [[Megatron Pistol|WWII German pistol]], Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "[[random-access humor|Down where? All that's down there is the ground]]" and starts charging a [[curse ye ha me ha]] attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner.
*Barbara's corpse is discovered during a search on their house, half-eaten by [[Kitty]] and a zombie-esque Patti.
*Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing. He dies 5 seconds later.
*The CWC Saga is declared over, and heroic [[trolls]] everywhere retire in peace to live happy sucessful lives. The [[CWCki]] is left up as a monument to Christian's fail.
*Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who after extensive research discover that Chris really was a hedgehog all along.
*On [[Christmas]] Day 2011, scientists announce that they had created a cure for autism, derived from chemicals found in Christian's body.
*''CWC the Movie'' is picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular film of all time.

<gallery>
Image:SchuRL.jpg|[[Sonichu]] in '''2011'''.
Image:Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]] in '''2011'''.
Image:Alenci.jpg|[[Angelica]] in '''2011'''.
Image:Simonl.jpg|What [[Simonla]] could have looked like in '''2011'''.
</gallery>

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]