CWCki - User contributions [en]

Template:Da update

2010-06-20T07:39:33Z

Allen Longbolt: troll fooled me, rv

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 19 June - Chris's [[Flipnote Hatena]] account is discovered, showing evidence of what he was up to while on his DSi at Fridays After Five.
* 18 June - Chris attends [[Fridays After Five]], wearing his [[muscle bra]] in public and acting like a [[pedofork]].
* 6 June - Chris uploads a [[June062010.MOV|video]] addressing [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] accusation against him.
* 4 June - Chris finally confirms our suspicions. [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=Uvgy-m2KbGw Michael Snyder on YouTube] talks about how Chris tried to [[pedofork|take pictures of his daughter]] and [http://www.youtube.com/comment_search?username=thercholic how he tried to run him over]. Surprisingly, [[CWC's Diary#June 2005|this isn't the first time he's tried to kill people with his car]].
* 31 May - Chris uploads [[100_2189]], where he talks about the rights to Sonichu still belonging to him, and not [[Alec]]. He also talks about [[trolls]] scaring him off the internet, and that he will stay off the internet. Again.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Da update

2010-06-20T07:38:56Z

Allen Longbolt:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 19 June - Chris's [[Flipnote Hatena]] account is discovered, showing evidence of what he was up to while on his DSi at Fridays After Five. He also takes time out of his busy day to defend [[Cole Smithey#Cole causes controversy|his brother's negative review]] of ''Toy Story 3''.
* 18 June - Chris attends [[Fridays After Five]], wearing his [[muscle bra]] in public and acting like a [[pedofork]].
* 6 June - Chris uploads a [[June062010.MOV|video]] addressing [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] accusation against him.
* 4 June - Chris finally confirms our suspicions. [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=Uvgy-m2KbGw Michael Snyder on YouTube] talks about how Chris tried to [[pedofork|take pictures of his daughter]] and [http://www.youtube.com/comment_search?username=thercholic how he tried to run him over]. Surprisingly, [[CWC's Diary#June 2005|this isn't the first time he's tried to kill people with his car]].
* 31 May - Chris uploads [[100_2189]], where he talks about the rights to Sonichu still belonging to him, and not [[Alec]]. He also talks about [[trolls]] scaring him off the internet, and that he will stay off the internet. Again.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Da update

2010-06-20T07:37:36Z

Allen Longbolt: Toy Story 3 review

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 19 June - Chris's [[Flipnote Hatena]] account is discovered, showing evidence of what he was up to while on his DSi at Fridays After Five. He also takes time out of his busy day to defend [[Cole Smithey#|his brother's negative review]] of ''Toy Story 3''.
* 18 June - Chris attends [[Fridays After Five]], wearing his [[muscle bra]] in public and acting like a [[pedofork]].
* 6 June - Chris uploads a [[June062010.MOV|video]] addressing [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] accusation against him.
* 4 June - Chris finally confirms our suspicions. [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=Uvgy-m2KbGw Michael Snyder on YouTube] talks about how Chris tried to [[pedofork|take pictures of his daughter]] and [http://www.youtube.com/comment_search?username=thercholic how he tried to run him over]. Surprisingly, [[CWC's Diary#June 2005|this isn't the first time he's tried to kill people with his car]].
* 31 May - Chris uploads [[100_2189]], where he talks about the rights to Sonichu still belonging to him, and not [[Alec]]. He also talks about [[trolls]] scaring him off the internet, and that he will stay off the internet. Again.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Da update

2010-06-20T07:36:59Z

Allen Longbolt: Toy Story 3 review

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 19 June - Chris's [[Flipnote Hatena]] account is discovered, showing evidence of what he was up to while on his DSi at Fridays After Five. He also takes time out of his busy day to defend [[Cole Smithey|his brother]]'s negative review of ''Toy Story 3''.
* 18 June - Chris attends [[Fridays After Five]], wearing his [[muscle bra]] in public and acting like a [[pedofork]].
* 6 June - Chris uploads a [[June062010.MOV|video]] addressing [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] accusation against him.
* 4 June - Chris finally confirms our suspicions. [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=Uvgy-m2KbGw Michael Snyder on YouTube] talks about how Chris tried to [[pedofork|take pictures of his daughter]] and [http://www.youtube.com/comment_search?username=thercholic how he tried to run him over]. Surprisingly, [[CWC's Diary#June 2005|this isn't the first time he's tried to kill people with his car]].
* 31 May - Chris uploads [[100_2189]], where he talks about the rights to Sonichu still belonging to him, and not [[Alec]]. He also talks about [[trolls]] scaring him off the internet, and that he will stay off the internet. Again.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Cole Smithey

2010-06-20T07:28:00Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Cole causes controversy */

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 email #3]]}}

{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|Barbara, [[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email #1]]}}

[[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|right|thumb|Cole: The [[Liquid|antithesis]] of Chris.]]

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son, and one of the successful escapees from the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. Cole's emails to Chris revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==

[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole isn't on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his stepfather Jerry with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios." Bob isn't exactly a role model either, as he worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref>

Barbara has lied about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to Jack Dale Smithey, Cole's alleged father, but rather Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.

==Relationship with Chris==

[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being 19 years older, he was in California making a life for himself.<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]],<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an email asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the PaRappa contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. When Chris's [[nudes]] were sent from his email in [[September 2008]], Cole replied with "DO NOT CONTACT ME BY EMAIL AGAIN."

'''tl;dr:''' Barbara is a whore and Chris doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself.

==Cole in the comics==

Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the Pichu who'd become [[Rosechu]]. This means that even his ''brother'' is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Personal success==

Cole resided in California for 16 years and has been in New York since around [[1996]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 1]]</ref> Cole lives with his wife Katherine, is the self-confessed "smartest film critic in the world,"<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]</ref> and plays wicked guitar in a jazz band.<ref name="email07-03-06p3">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 3]]</ref>

==Cole causes controversy==

On June 18th, 2010, Cole became the first person out of 131 reviewers to give ''Toy Story 3'' a "rotten" review on the website [http://www.rottentomatoes.com Rotten Tomatoes].<ref>[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775]</ref> Immediately after posting this controversial review, Cole received hundreds of comments which relentlessly flamed his intelligence. This may prove that [[internet]] infamy runs in the family. Consider however he has a brother who will never do what Andy did at the end of the film (and hopefully [[Pedofork|Chris won't emulate it himself]]), and there might be some good reasoning for Cole's dislike of the film.

Of course Chris being Chris, he came to his brother's defense with an all-caps response of "LEAVE MY BROTHER ALONE!!!" within the Rotten Tomatoes comment thread <ref>[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775&c_page=11 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775&c_page=11], comment #214</ref>.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if [[Barbara]] had any involvement with the CD
Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 [[March 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-4.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-23.PNG|23 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 [[July 2007]] emails
Image:Cole 07-07-24-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

Cole Smithey

2010-06-20T07:27:09Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Cole causes controversy */

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 email #3]]}}

{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|Barbara, [[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email #1]]}}

[[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|right|thumb|Cole: The [[Liquid|antithesis]] of Chris.]]

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son, and one of the successful escapees from the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. Cole's emails to Chris revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==

[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole isn't on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his stepfather Jerry with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios." Bob isn't exactly a role model either, as he worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref>

Barbara has lied about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to Jack Dale Smithey, Cole's alleged father, but rather Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.

==Relationship with Chris==

[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being 19 years older, he was in California making a life for himself.<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]],<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an email asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the PaRappa contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. When Chris's [[nudes]] were sent from his email in [[September 2008]], Cole replied with "DO NOT CONTACT ME BY EMAIL AGAIN."

'''tl;dr:''' Barbara is a whore and Chris doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself.

==Cole in the comics==

Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the Pichu who'd become [[Rosechu]]. This means that even his ''brother'' is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Personal success==

Cole resided in California for 16 years and has been in New York since around [[1996]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 1]]</ref> Cole lives with his wife Katherine, is the self-confessed "smartest film critic in the world,"<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]</ref> and plays wicked guitar in a jazz band.<ref name="email07-03-06p3">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 3]]</ref>

==Cole causes controversy==

On June 18th, 2010, Cole became the first person out of 131 reviewers to give ''Toy Story 3'' a "rotten" review on the website [http://www.rottentomatoes.com Rotten Tomatoes].<ref>[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775]</ref> Immediately after posting this controversial review, Cole received hundreds of comments which relentlessly flamed his intelligence. This may prove that [[internet]] infamy runs in the family. Consider however he has a brother who will never do what Andy did at the end of the film (and hopefully [[Pedofork|Chris won't emulate it himself]]), and there might be some good reasoning for Cole's dislike of the film.

Of course Chris being Chris, he came to his brother's defense with an all-caps response of "LEAVE MY BROTHER ALONE!!!" within the Rotten Tomatoes comment thread <ref>[ http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775&c_page=11], comment #214</ref>.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if [[Barbara]] had any involvement with the CD
Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 [[March 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-4.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-23.PNG|23 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 [[July 2007]] emails
Image:Cole 07-07-24-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

Cole Smithey

2010-06-20T07:26:18Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Cole causes controversy */ possible reason for dislike of film involving ending, Chris butts in

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 email #3]]}}

{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|Barbara, [[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email #1]]}}

[[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|right|thumb|Cole: The [[Liquid|antithesis]] of Chris.]]

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son, and one of the successful escapees from the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. Cole's emails to Chris revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==

[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole isn't on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his stepfather Jerry with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios." Bob isn't exactly a role model either, as he worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref>

Barbara has lied about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to Jack Dale Smithey, Cole's alleged father, but rather Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.

==Relationship with Chris==

[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being 19 years older, he was in California making a life for himself.<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]],<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an email asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the PaRappa contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. When Chris's [[nudes]] were sent from his email in [[September 2008]], Cole replied with "DO NOT CONTACT ME BY EMAIL AGAIN."

'''tl;dr:''' Barbara is a whore and Chris doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself.

==Cole in the comics==

Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the Pichu who'd become [[Rosechu]]. This means that even his ''brother'' is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Personal success==

Cole resided in California for 16 years and has been in New York since around [[1996]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 1]]</ref> Cole lives with his wife Katherine, is the self-confessed "smartest film critic in the world,"<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]</ref> and plays wicked guitar in a jazz band.<ref name="email07-03-06p3">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 3]]</ref>

==Cole causes controversy==

On June 18th, 2010, Cole became the first person out of 131 reviewers to give ''Toy Story 3'' a "rotten" review on the website [http://www.rottentomatoes.com Rotten Tomatoes].<ref>[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775]</ref> Immediately after posting this controversial review, Cole received hundreds of comments which relentlessly flamed his intelligence. This may prove that [[internet]] infamy runs in the family. Consider however he has a brother who will never do what Andy did at the end of the film (and hopefully [[Pedofork|Chris won't emulate it himself]]), and there might be some good reasoning for Cole's dislike of the film.

Of course Chris being Chris, he came to his brother's defense with an all-caps response of "LEAVE MY BROTHER ALONE!!!" within the Rotten Tomatoes comment thread <ref>[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775&c_page=11#writecomment], comment #214</ref>.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if [[Barbara]] had any involvement with the CD
Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 [[March 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-4.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-23.PNG|23 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 [[July 2007]] emails
Image:Cole 07-07-24-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

Some Favored Comedians

2010-05-21T02:26:14Z

Allen Longbolt: possible source for Regina confusion

{{recent}}
[[Image:Chris gay trucker.jpg|thumb|right|]]
'''Some Favored Comedians''' (officially "'''Some Favored Comedians.MOV'''") is a 20 [[May 2010]] video where [[Chris]] bores his [[fanbase]] by discussing various comedians and Seth McFarlane. He reiterates his [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|dislike for the change in voice actors on The Cleveland Show]], does several terrible impersonations, and describes a scenario where Jerry Seinfeld meets him and does a stand up act about how [[Chris and ego|awesome]] it is to meet a [[Chris|retarded manchild]]. Chris seems to go out of his way to mention how much he doesn't [[racism|hate]] [[Chris and religion|Jews]] but gives no justification for his own indiscretions. Chris mentions that Larry the Cable Guy should be called Larry the Trucker Man and then switches, in an ADD kind of way, to Peter Cullen's voice acting [[Optimus Prime]].

Despite Chris being a critical and avid fan of The Cleveland Show, he consistently refers to [[Wikipedia:Reagan Gomez|Reagan Gomez]] as "Regina", quite possibly an artifact of his [[Autism]] for which he blames almost all of his shortcomings, or confusion with [[Wikipedia:Regina King|Regina King]], who voices characters on ''The Boondocks''. He also repeatedly mispronounces Mila Kunis's name. Considering that she's the voice of his favorite Family Guy gal-pal, well, that comes as no surprise.
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==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Some Favored Comedians
| video = {{#ev:youtube|URLwUjuNJYM}}
| stardate = 20 [[May 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumours|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[05142010]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcript==
Ah, [[Captain's Log]], May 22nd- [''flashes his school ring''] May 20th, 2010. I just uh, started up this video [''takes his glasses off''] to uh, give y'all a little update about myself [''puts glasses back on, coughs'']. You know, I'm doing well, so's my [[Barb|mom]], and for your information my [[Bob|father]] is alive and well so, that rumour is false. My father is alive and well.

Anyway uh, anyway with that I wanna talk about some of my favourite uh, comedy people. But uh, I'd like to start off with uh, prefacing with uh, prefrencing an old- a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|past video of mine]], of which I have uh made the complaint about uh... [[Wikipedia:Reagan Gomez|Regina Gomez]] who plays [[Wikipedia:Nia Long|Nia Long]] on [[The Cleveland Show]]. I mean yeah that was definitely like a trade down in comparison. [''Chris turns to his TV''] Let's go to a clip of Nia Long.

[''Clip of The Cleveland Show plays - probably from [[Wikipedia:Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance|Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance]]'']

And then uh now, check out uh, Ragina Gomez in comparison.

[''Plays another clip from The Cleveland Show - probably from [[Wikipedia:Once Upon a Tyne in New York|Once Upon a Tyne in New York]]'']

You see a difference? Big difference. Regina is a whiny voiced little brat, whereas uh Nia... [''turns to TV''] was a lot better. And uh, [''turns to camera''] an another reference, that was like uh, when they changed the voice- they changed the voice actress for [''turns to TV''] [[Family_Guy#Chris_and_Meg|Megan Griffin]]. I mean, yeah here's the first voice. This is an improvement by the way.

[''Plays a clip from Family Guy'']

Yeah see well, this was a better change in comparison. You know, change it from... I forget her name... to [[Wikipedia:Mila Kunis|Mila Kunis]]. Whoops, I don't need that selected(?) [''mutters something'']. Here's Mila.

[''Plays a clip from Family Guy'']

Yeah big difference. Big difference between the uh, voice actresses you know. When they sw- they, did it from [[Wikipedia:Lacey Chabert|whoever she was]] to Mila Kunis, that was an improvement because, you know, maturing- the voice deepens naturally. Whereas The Cleveland Show switching from Ni- switching from Nia Long to Regina Gomez. That's a trade ''down'' [''gestures and points down'']. I mean I- I gotta tell you my opinion [''removes glasses'']. It must have been like uh, Seth McFarlane and uh, Mike Henry musta had uh, too many drinks or somethin' to decide to uh, switch from Nia to Regina. Or a- or I don't know whether it's um, it was their decision or what Nia had in her head when sh- uh, when she left the show for that point.

And I leave you all with that. Let's talk about uh, let's talk about famous comedy people. Uh, y'all know I like uh, I like from plastma classtics(?), [[Wikipedia:Lucille Ball|Lucille Ball]] [''High-pitched voice impression''] ''Hello, friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run down, and listless? Do you [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|poop out]] at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin''. And uh, I also like [[Wikipedia:Red Skelton|Red Skelton]]. [''Dopey voice impression''][''unintelligible'']. [''chuckles a bit''] Very funny people. I also liked uh, I also liked [[Wikipedia:Dick Van Dyke|Dick Van Dyke]], [[Wikipedia:Mary Tyler Moore|Mary Tyler Moore]] and, [[Wikipedia:Bob Newhart|Bob Newhart]], there's another good one. I like those types of people, but from today's- from this generation, I like [[Wikipedia:Tim Allen|Tim Allen]]. He's a funny man. Yeah. [''Laughs''] I was just remember the uh, part where- the one where he ''Tim don't put your hand in the light socket *pfft*''. But seriously though, he does very good, he's a funny man.

I also like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]]. He- he's very funny. I watched his show every- I watch his show every day on TBS... And, you know, too bad- too bad it ended. He coulda done more shows but whatever. That was his call there. He decided that after nine seasons. I like Jerry Seinfeld, he's a funny man. You know I would- you know I would definitely like to see this, you know, even as a video response from Jerry Himself, his view on autis- on autistic people. Especially the high functioning autistics like myself, you know.

[''Stares into space, makes a creepy smile'']

And also, think about this, I probably sound like Jerry Sein- I probably sound like Jerry Seinfeld, you know? This could be a comedy routine for himself, you know, that he could do for autistics.

[''Pantomimes holding a mic, attempts to impersonate Jerry Seinfeld'']

Ah yeah, so I just recently been introduced to this uh, autistic, uh, boy- this autistic teenage boy here. And uh, and we sai- you know, I was introduced, so he opened up to me right away. And then I- and then- later, like I- later at this picnic, this community picnic, he uh, I see him- I see him over there and he wants to find- he wants to [[Fuck quest|meet himself a lady]], so he's hanging out over there. And I don't see him talking to the ladies, he just uh, he's just uh, smiling and being silent. I mean, he ain't gonna go anywhere unless he talks to- unless he talks to the but then again that's part of the autism right there. He just tends to blank out when he's not introduced to people. Because he's scared of the unknown. That's very common among the autistic people. And I'll tell you something else. Today's society where everybody is glued to their computers and internet and all that, they're definitely closing themselves off from society. It's like they're becoming autistics themselves. I mean, if they're definitely not glued in front of their computer they're definitely about as blank as that au- that little teenage boy was.

[''Pantomimes releasing mic, stares into space for a few moments.'']

Eh, yeah, but anyway I would definitely like to hear Jerry Seinfeld's uh, opinions and views, or a comedy sketch about autistic people. 'Cuz I want to ask him about that. Oh yeah, also you know, another Jewish dude I like- that he strikes me as funny, [[Wikipedia:Brad Garrett|Brad Garrett]], you know, from ''Everybody Loves Raymond'', also doing the guy from till does actually he also starred in an episode of ''Seinfeld'' I read, where he steals Jerry's car. Still that does- that seems kind of dumb, you know. I even read that he tried- he tried out for Kramer, I mean, I mean he definitely would not have been- I do not know if he would be a better Kramer, I mean [''Voice changes''] "What are you looking at crazy?" I dunno. Ha, I mean,
[''Waves arms around''] "Who-whoop-whoop PIA! Yeah. Hi Jer!" [''chuckles''] Yeah I think uh, Brad Garrison is a little bit more subtle, but I like him too. You know. And I have nothing against [[Jews|Jewish people]], I mean there's people too, and I got nothing against Jewish community. I mean they have their views and we have our views, Let's leave it at that. I mean they're all- they're all- they're people we're people, [''face contorts with racism''] no problem.

I know I sent [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|crossed signals]] about that at past points. Oh, hey, you know another dude I like? [''puts on a baseball cap''] Larry the Cable Guy. ''Git-R-Done!'' [''chuckles''] Funny dude, you know. He definitely could been- he definitely had the trucker look going for him if he uh, wasn't being the cable guy. Yeah I mean, I would definitely think that would have uh, the way he was dressed they would him "Larry the Trucker Man!" Trucker Man. [''chuckles''] Yeaah, pretty funny. [''takes off cap''] Oh and also you know, speaking of impressions uhh, here's [[Wikipedia:Peter Cullen|Peter Cullen]] [''Quotes some Optimus Prime lines from Transformers'']. That's spot on, dead on Peter Cullen right there. And I'm glad that, you know, aside from the generation one series, they let him do t- he volunte- he volunteered to do the voice of Optimus in the new movies, as well as in the video games. I mean all th- of all the generations between the Optimus Primes and the Optimus Primals, [''points at camera''] Peter Cullen ''is'' Optimus Prime. Of all time.

Anyway, that's uhh, just uh some of my opinions about some current and past comedians and uh, Seth! Mike! Bring back Nia Long! [''Puts glasses back on''] Anyway, I'll leave y'all with uh, that and those impressions. Until then- until another time when I have another thought or, whatever - have a good day. [''makes the peace sign''] Peace.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = STAPLE CWC TO MY DICK
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Zy3SSc7iwk4}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/mrallex mrallex]
| Stardate = 20 May 2010
}}

==References==
<references />

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{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[05142010]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2010-05-20]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris and the law

2010-05-16T04:31:24Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Understanding */

[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Laws''' are rules set up to help keep citizens in check. They are usually enforced by [[Jerkops|the law enforcement]] of that area and penalties are placed on those who don't follow the laws.

For [[Chris]], however, these just serve as another deterrent in his quest for [[china]].

==Understanding==
{{quote|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of 2008, and nothing has sunken into that clown head of his.|[[Michael Snyder]]}}

[[Image:Impliedshooting.jpg|thumb|left|Chris implying guns are the answer.]]
Like his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's understanding of the law is tenuous at best. He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll threatening violence against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] to the internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|extremely violent threats]], such as threatening to murder [[Vivian]] and her entire family because of the [[audiobooks]]. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-[[George W. Bush|President Bush]] in an attempt to get rid of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page.<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266</ref> He's even attempted to contact current [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] to stop people from posting gay ads! Chris also believes that the laws in [[CWCville]] and the laws stated in [[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] should be enforced '''in real life.'''

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when [[Chris and hypocrisy|their enforcement inconveniences him]]. During his time at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently [[Attraction Sign|soliciting sex]]. Chris feels that his [[Virgin with Rage|emotional state]] entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM Chat]] that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"|NOOOOOOO!]]" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In [[Sonichu Special 4]], his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the exact speed limit...while on his way to confront [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and commit assault with a deadly weapon upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In [[05142010|a recent video]], Chris states that a man deserves 20 years in prison for murdering his girlfriend, and also believes that the archaic practice of hard labor as seen in such venues as Bugs Bunny cartoons still exists.

In addition, Chris has very little respect for [[Jerkops|those who enforce the law]]:

{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off. |Excerpt from Chris's [[CWC's Diary|diary]]}}

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, lie to, and ''attempt to hit, with his car,'' people who are simply doing their jobs (although the tale may be exaggerated, it is nonetheless pretty damn awful). And, of course, as any rational person (i.e., anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

==Law troubles==
On 20 [[July 2005]], Chris was charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing<ref name="Criminal Searches">[http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=Wpem9DAEtHH%2fFwSXuzfStJ2LvpHgv1YXUU3kPiyr3%2fQ%3d&input=name CriminalSearches.com], which has the Virginia Administrative Office of the Courts as their source</ref> for stalking women at the mall and being a total tard, as depicted in [[Sub-Episode 1]]. After two hearings,<ref name="Criminal Searches" /><ref>[[MySpace#Lindsay]]</ref> he was not punished. Five days later, Chris followed a car too closely. This went to court on 12 September.<ref name="Criminal Searches" /> He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in costs.

Chris's various run-ins at [[The Game Place]] has resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times; at least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|trespassed on the property]], though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.
{{clear}}

==Chris's Parents and Law==

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

* When Chris was thrown out of the Cub Scouts for an unknown event, his parents attempted to sue the Boy Scouts of America for discrimination.
* When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.
* When Snorlax thought she had indigestion(actually colitis), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
* When Snorlax was faced with the police after she confronted Michael Snyder in 2008, she chose to harp on the fact that nobody offered her a chair. Her behavior suggested that she was planning to sue the Game Place for exercising its right to ban Chris, but the police called her bullshit.
* Chris's later recollection of the subject includes an absurd accusation that Michael Snyder had a criminal history--it is possible that Bob or Snorlax brought this up and Chris is simply parroting it.

==Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws==
[[Image:AL cover.gif|thumb|Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.]]
As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the [[jerkop]]s in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for [[Alcohol|drinking]], [[Tobacky|smoking]] and [[troll|internet harassment]] involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in [[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|the only one]] of his supposed series of Q&A videos.

On new years eve, 2009, Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent [[Jack Thaddeus]] from using adspace he paid for.

{{quote|I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already Snail-Mailed President [[Barack Obama]] on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.|Chris, [[Chris and his Ego|Thinking he's important]]}}

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make [[Chris and Reality|advertisements he doesn't want illegal.]] From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain". This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on Wikis.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[2003|Years ago]], She interrupted Chris in what looked like [[Love Quest#Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh|soliciting for sex]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hilarity ensued]] and Chris received some well-deserved [[Autism papers|time-out]] for [[Chris and anger|his antics]]. Fast-forward in [[2009]] when Chris, [[One Blessing, and One Curse|out of the blue]], decides to make peace. He went to her home and left her a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|"Framed Hand-Drawn Apology"]] on her doorsteps. Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure stalker logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, [[Mailbag 26#Mary Lee Walsh trolls IRL|he's not legally liable]].

[[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for men to ever show their bare chest (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, no matter what shape he's in). He also wants to force all women in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the [[Autism]] card doesn't work.

==In the Comics==
Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, dictatorial tendencies. In CWCville, Chris has banned a number of things in his city, as smoking or drinking alcohol would lead one to be either sentenced to 10 years in jail or a much more lenient $1500 USD fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> However, it should be noted that Chris [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the law]] in June 2009. Even stranger is the the fact that the city tends to lack other races or even other sub-cultures, beyond Chris, the Sonichus and Rosechus, a handful of (white) males and females, and the few Transformers in his town, lead many to think that Chris has banned them as well. The Rosechus tend to fight for [[women's rights]], that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to. While it's pretty much fine and dandy in CWCville, they were most likely attempting to do this for across the US, which is pretty stupid to begin with.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing mayor, preferring to have [[Allison Amber|his secretary]] do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "Date Education" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight". [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Actual police officers]] did not appear until [[Sonichu 10|quite late]] and even then, they did nothing whatever, giving the impression that only Chris and his Pokemon abominations are the only thing standing in between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, [[Sonichu 9]] seems to reveal that there is three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force, as well as his own team of [[Power Rangers]] and a team of [[Transformers]].

{{quote|Is CWCville under Martial Law? |[[Jack Thaddeus]] citing the truth as he sees it}}

It gets even scarier. In a conversation that [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|Chris had with Jack Thaddeus]], he reveals that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks he uses as a "Police Force" and all his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon have IMMUNITY FROM PROSECUTION and are over the law. If we add all this to the fact that there're no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of a dictator running it with a hand of steel and backed with super-powered goons freed to do any atrocity with impunity. Chris also plan to use Magi-Chan to mentally scan the city perimeters for any sexual acts. If the said relation is between homosexuals or between an adult and anyone under the age of 18, the participants would be [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|"tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service"]]. This proves us that, in CWCville, the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution does not apply in matters of personal sexual choices. This might put him at odds with [[Chris and sex#Pedophilia|his own sexual ideals...]]

In a strange [[Chris and hypocrisy|set of double standards]], Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property ''outside of CWCVille''. [[Sonichu 10]] has shown no less than three grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the 4-cent_garbage building, the death of over 100 trolls in said destruction, breaking and entering [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]]'s house, and destroying internet files and property. Even worse, those who have wronged Chris are NOT given the chance to defend themselves, given a high-off-his-ass lawyer to Alec, Mao, Sean and Evan in their trial over the death of Simonla. When they're found guilty, they're ''killed by the people they've wronged''!

==See also==
*[[Parody]]

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

100 2178

2010-05-09T05:23:00Z

Allen Longbolt: C-ville is an independent city, probably the county that just borders near his house

(a.k.a '''100 2178.MOV''') is a video in which Chris does an introspection of his life. Or at the very least complains about the latest faults that has occurred since he and [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] broke apart.

For some odd reason, Chris blames the city of Charlottesville, along with Albemarle County and Greene County for being stuck in his "autistic shell" and wishes they, [[Michael Snyder]], and the [[trolls]] would go to hell for playing [[Kick the Autistic]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2178.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|VwCldRr0kDc}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 08 May 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = [[Image:Tragedy.png]] Tragedy
| Shirt = Obscured
| previous = [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

Chris and mental healthcare

2010-05-02T18:46:05Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Professional help? */ Medicaid

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist at grade school while his screams were recorded, and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris currently refuses to see a psychologist, opting to see a [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] instead.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
Chris claims to be [[autistic]] and [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia. He also claims to have [[Noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of boyfriends. The rest of the human race believes that he's got wa-a-a-ay more than autism to worry about, but beyond trying to peg Chris based on his actions, there's no way anyone can know if Chris's brain is garlanded with healthy chunks of the DSM-IV-TR or if he's merely a gullible idiot with a terrible upbringing and worse personality (and autism).

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A Cornell University [http://gagne.homedns.org/~tgagne/contrib/unskilled.html psychology journal] details this phenomenon; it is a disturbingly accurate account of Chris's reaction to [[Reality|reality]].

Chris diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] on [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]]. Supposedly he has two personalities, the first being Christian, which is just Chris speaking in a normal tone of voice. The second is Christopher, which is just Chris yelling in a higher tone of voice. Many trolls were incredibly skeptical, and Chris later revealed in [[Mailbag 4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the trolls". Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22_(logic)|Catch 22]].

The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at [[PVCC]] in 2004 took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend," although he did not go so far as to hand down a diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Whether he might conclude otherwise nowadays, after five more years of dedicated sweetheart searching, is an open question. He also administered a Folstein test, a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment. Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the Global Assessment of Functioning, he rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway in between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

There is ample speculation as to what Chris has, but until he gets some sustained professional attention, it remains speculation. Which leads to a larger problem...

==Professional help?==
One of the most [[Rage|frustrating]] elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever been in was a compulsory Anger Management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listens to is [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claims that he has no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems. He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>See [[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag 2]] and [[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag 4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It would be likely that he could seek the help of a professional for little or no cost, as his [[monthly tugboat]] in the form of SSI does offer basic psychological services that would allow him the ability to to talk to a board-certified counselor and get the help he does need. It's likely though he doesn't even know this service is available, as he only regards his SSI check as income or a cheap means of getting rapist [[glasses]] rather than a reassurance that he is covered under federal Medicaid or the equivalent state Medicaid program offered by the Commonwealth of Virginia.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if 1) they get him pity or 2) he announces that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism, only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse. Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered Noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."

Chris refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs any, and because he has better things (games, anime, porn) to spend his money on. Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are, regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a 13-year-old]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things, regardless of how any mental health worker worth his salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of [[fail]], Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling other people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication Imipramine. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely some time in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like Prozac in the late 1980s, the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common. More recently, however, Imipramine has commonly been prescribed to patients who have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|urinary problems]].

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant Paxil for four years in order to deal with his [[stress]] and [[Chris and anger|anger issues]]. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward.

Chris continues to take antidepressant medication to this day, but he is no longer on Paxil specifically. In [[Mailbag 13]], he explained that he switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects. He didn't specify what those side effects were, though, or what medication he's now taking.

One of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's diet and sedentary lifestyle.

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh's experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems makes her experienced on the issue. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===[[Autism papers|Psychiatric Papers]]===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary-school years or some time after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|ordered]] to take anger management classes. The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional... and... well... [[Chris_and_anger|he still can't control his anger]]. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris' that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===[[Rocky Shoemaker]]===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she is probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considers her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He doesn't listen to anything she fucking says.
She has told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remains as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she has put a stop to trolling plans, behavior remains the same. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls.

That hasn't really worked out now, has it?

About the only thing that he has taken away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a more recent [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris feels he has found some form of real life [[Dating_education|date ed]]. More likely, Chris has come upon a class for couples who want to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to find out how to get into one. The true nature of the course is irrelevant since Chris is creepy and out of place pretty much anywhere he goes.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has no common sense. Likewise, common sense being... common, [[white knights]] and [[trolls]] are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. He doesn't fucking get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering [[Autism|why exactly he doesn't get it]]. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to, no matter what level they are on the ladder. [[Vivian Gee|Some White Knights]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they've essentially moved on to becoming professional trolls.

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Autism papers]]
*[[Asperger's syndrome]]
*[[Dreams]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

LittleBigPlanet

2010-03-27T09:40:21Z

Allen Longbolt: /* First Date Level */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very anti-thesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is intelligent, witty, attractive and charming, as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both gay men, Fry does not engage in self-loathing closet dwelling.]]
'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (or "Little Pig Blanket" coming from [[Chris]]'s marble-filled mouth) is a critically acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and PSP. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels. (As a game experience, it is reputed to be quite different from the famous first-person shooter for the [[Hex Bawx]], where people [[Sonichu 10|drop crates and boxes]] on each other in level editor mode and shout [[homos|vile allegations]] at people. Why, that wouldn't do ''at all''.)

While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[fail|amazing custom levels]].

==Chris and LBP==

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]

Chris is a huge fan of LittleBigPlanet. He participated in the beta test in the fall of 2008, and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When LBP was released, it made Chris disappear the Internet for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. LittleBigPlanet's main character, "Sack Boy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, although in December 2009, he was briefly short some unlockable trophies due to an update that added new ones. Currently unknown is how fast he jumped on buying the game's Sonic costume pack released in March 2010, which will undoubtedly inspire a revised (yet still poorly created) [[Sonichu 0]] level with Sonic and Sonichu zapping to the extreme together without having to worry about Sega enforcing those [[Lie|pesky copyright laws]].

The biggest reason Chris latched onto LittleBigPlanet was that it let him make ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu: The Game]]''. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. Before the arrival of the LBP level editor, no game development platform was sufficiently idiot-proof — more complex development systems, after all, make unreasonable demands like ''learning something about game design''. With ''LittleBigPlanet'', everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[Hex Bawx]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. (Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of LittleBigPlanet for the Wii and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out.)

Not everything is rosy in Chris's LittleBigPlanet world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of LittleBigPlanet as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?)

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by [http://www.stephenfry.com/ Stephen Fry], a well-known [[homo|homosexual]] and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the Platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the LBP Community==

Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over LittleBigPlanet. Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the LittleBigPlanet's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his Sonichu levels several weeks later under grounds of "Copyright Infringement." Some say Chris was just one of the casualties of a larger effort to curb widespread and blatant copyright infringement, while others argue the whole forum furore was, indeed, the ''casus belli'' of Sony's latest attack against their customers. The deletion made Chris go off on a pointless butthurt crusade to have his levels re-archived, to no avail.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the LBP community at large. See most of his LBP videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the LBP community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

==Chris' LittleBigPlanet creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

{{incomplete}}

Chris has created many levels in LittleBigPlanet and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his videogame achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris' levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and the videos. Poorly thought-out, not checked before publishing, laziness showing everywhere, technical incompetence all around and mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same "minimum effort" approach to LBP as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris' follow the tried-and-true 'combine two franchises' technique, and that all of his levels have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being 'creepy', 'weird', 'rubbish', and 'frustrating'.

===Sonichu Level===

Chris began mashing this level together in the era when LBP was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first LBP level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode 1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic.

The rest of the level is just a plain old wall-to-wall storm of empty, poorly made blocks of material and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled BurgerTime Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] and the arcade game BurgerTime??? WTF? Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris' incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed seven times.

===Sonichu costume===

Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.

===PS3 History Level===

{{main|PS3 History Level}}

The level that catapulted Chris to fame when it was featured in LittleBigPlanet website. Vastly improved compared to Sonichu level, which still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks | build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his [[Fail |wonderful]] recreations of PS3, PSP and [[Gitar of Fail|the guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks, so you'd better not doubt his straightness.

Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history; the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

===LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case===

Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his LBP profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": A few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

===First Date Level===

Made in Valentine's Day 2009 and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "roller coaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' [[BILLY MAYS | extreme]] loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these 10 seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a [[Gay | pink]] room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the 'romantic dinner' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in [[#Rescuing Kacey|Rescuing Kacey]] video.

===Metal Speed Solid===

Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at 'Sonic speed'. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===

Rescuing Kacey was made in November 2009 and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris who is holding Kacey hostage, and receives [[User:CJB8895|massive ego]]-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey ''and'' Liquid - just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date Level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day, 2009. Hint: ''Kacey and Chris weren't together yet back then.''

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===

"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] in February 9, 2010, and it's based on the compelling prose by Chris and his as of yet mysterious girlfriend [[The Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]] and completely inexplicable cameos by certain electric hedgehog Pokémons. A full version is apparently coming up, though judging by Chris's previous promises of producing things to a deadline and his general laziness, [[A_message_to_the_Trolls|alongside recent events]], the chances of a complete level coming up within the next decade are questionable at best.

Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E the fanbase has documented this soulless, sloppy strigine sidestory].

==Sauces==

<references/>

==External links==

*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

LittleBigPlanet

2010-03-27T09:39:22Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Chris and LBP */ Sonic costume pack

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very anti-thesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is intelligent, witty, attractive and charming, as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both gay men, Fry does not engage in self-loathing closet dwelling.]]
'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (or "Little Pig Blanket" coming from [[Chris]]'s marble-filled mouth) is a critically acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and PSP. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels. (As a game experience, it is reputed to be quite different from the famous first-person shooter for the [[Hex Bawx]], where people [[Sonichu 10|drop crates and boxes]] on each other in level editor mode and shout [[homos|vile allegations]] at people. Why, that wouldn't do ''at all''.)

While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[fail|amazing custom levels]].

==Chris and LBP==

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]

Chris is a huge fan of LittleBigPlanet. He participated in the beta test in the fall of 2008, and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When LBP was released, it made Chris disappear the Internet for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. LittleBigPlanet's main character, "Sack Boy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, although in December 2009, he was briefly short some unlockable trophies due to an update that added new ones. Currently unknown is how fast he jumped on buying the game's Sonic costume pack released in March 2010, which will undoubtedly inspire a revised (yet still poorly created) [[Sonichu 0]] level with Sonic and Sonichu zapping to the extreme together without having to worry about Sega enforcing those [[Lie|pesky copyright laws]].

The biggest reason Chris latched onto LittleBigPlanet was that it let him make ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu: The Game]]''. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. Before the arrival of the LBP level editor, no game development platform was sufficiently idiot-proof — more complex development systems, after all, make unreasonable demands like ''learning something about game design''. With ''LittleBigPlanet'', everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[Hex Bawx]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. (Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of LittleBigPlanet for the Wii and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out.)

Not everything is rosy in Chris's LittleBigPlanet world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of LittleBigPlanet as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?)

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by [http://www.stephenfry.com/ Stephen Fry], a well-known [[homo|homosexual]] and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the Platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the LBP Community==

Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over LittleBigPlanet. Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the LittleBigPlanet's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his Sonichu levels several weeks later under grounds of "Copyright Infringement." Some say Chris was just one of the casualties of a larger effort to curb widespread and blatant copyright infringement, while others argue the whole forum furore was, indeed, the ''casus belli'' of Sony's latest attack against their customers. The deletion made Chris go off on a pointless butthurt crusade to have his levels re-archived, to no avail.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the LBP community at large. See most of his LBP videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the LBP community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

==Chris' LittleBigPlanet creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

{{incomplete}}

Chris has created many levels in LittleBigPlanet and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his videogame achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris' levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and the videos. Poorly thought-out, not checked before publishing, laziness showing everywhere, technical incompetence all around and mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same "minimum effort" approach to LBP as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris' follow the tried-and-true 'combine two franchises' technique, and that all of his levels have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being 'creepy', 'weird', 'rubbish', and 'frustrating'.

===Sonichu Level===

Chris began mashing this level together in the era when LBP was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first LBP level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode 1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic.

The rest of the level is just a plain old wall-to-wall storm of empty, poorly made blocks of material and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled BurgerTime Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] and the arcade game BurgerTime??? WTF? Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris' incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed seven times.

===Sonichu costume===

Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.

===PS3 History Level===

{{main|PS3 History Level}}

The level that catapulted Chris to fame when it was featured in LittleBigPlanet website. Vastly improved compared to Sonichu level, which still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks | build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his [[Fail |wonderful]] recreations of PS3, PSP and [[Gitar of Fail|the guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks, so you'd better not doubt his straightness.

Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history; the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

===LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case===

Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his LBP profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": A few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

===First Date Level===

Made in Valentine's Day 2009 and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "roller coaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' [[BILLY MAYS | extreme]] loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these 10 seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a [[Gay | pink]] room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the 'romantic dinner' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in [[#Rescuing Kacey|Rescuing Kacey]] video.

===Metal Speed Solid===

Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at 'Sonic speed'. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===

Rescuing Kacey was made in November 2009 and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris who is holding Kacey hostage, and receives [[User:CJB8895|massive ego]]-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey ''and'' Liquid - just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date Level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day, 2009. Hint: ''Kacey and Chris weren't together yet back then.''

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===

"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] in February 9, 2010, and it's based on the compelling prose by Chris and his as of yet mysterious girlfriend [[The Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]] and completely inexplicable cameos by certain electric hedgehog Pokémons. A full version is apparently coming up, though judging by Chris's previous promises of producing things to a deadline and his general laziness, [[A_message_to_the_Trolls|alongside recent events]], the chances of a complete level coming up within the next decade are questionable at best.

Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E the fanbase has documented this soulless, sloppy strigine sidestory].

==Sauces==

<references/>

==External links==

*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

CWCipedia

2010-03-22T03:26:40Z

Allen Longbolt: /* CWCipedia opened for everybody */ Sysop regains control

{{Honest}}
{{protip|Incorporate stuff from CWCipedia into CWCki to get the high score!!}}

[[Image:CWCipedia Introduction.jpg|thumb|right|Chris proudly claims the CWCipedia in the name of [[CWCville]]]]

{{quote|Abandon hope all ye who enter here.|From Dante's Divine Comedy, eerily summing up CWCipedia}}

'''CWCipedia''' (not to be confused with the [[CWCki]]) was a wiki set up for the sole use of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], as a sort of personal Wiki as opposed to Chris vandalizing the CWCki with his bullshit. Furthermore, it is designed to allow Chris to "get the truth out" as he so desired to do on [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|his Wikipedia profile]].

Since its inception, Chris has more or less treated the page as free web hosting, a place to put his comics without having to pay for the resulting bandwidth use. CWCipedia also served as the ultimate test of the use of MediaWiki software and software usability, in that it strived to create a platform that even an [[autism|autistic]] manchild/lazy fuck can easily use. Of course, Chris, being a retarded fuckface, still managed to fuck it up from time to time, even with a Sysop holding his hand.

Chris has a tendency to let his mind wander while typing up his entries. For example, in his [[Sonichu]] article he ends up going off on a rant explaining what had happened to [[Kel]] (even though it didn't involve Sonichu at all), and the fact that Chris himself is the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon gym. This leads into Chris describing his supposed gym at length, what Pokémon he has in his team, and his collection of Pokémon in the game (in addition to their level and how he had levelled them). This somehow leads to a fantastically retarded idea for a Pokémon game system that's basically just the holographic projectors from [[Yu-Gi-Oh]], except with Pokémon. After all of that dumbfuckery he gets back to talking about Sonichu again.

==The early days==
Several months after Chris began using the wiki proceeded without incident. He was able to display his comics and music, share more details of his personal life, reveal more background information about the world of CWCville, and shout his bizarre homophobic rantings from the virtual rooftops in peace. The administrators of the site remained a silent, benevolent force behind the scenes.

Towards the end of 2009, this would change.

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Untitled.png|thumb|100px|left|Ensuring that Chris sees them EVERY TIME he visits.]]
[[Image:NewCWCipediaFrontpage.jpg|thumb|Chris's revised frontpage]]
As 2009 came to a close, CWCipedia's operators ran into financial trouble keeping the site in the black, given the many hits it gets on a daily basis and the profusion of large files held on its servers. To help keep the site up and running for its TRUE and LOYAL [[fans]], the Sysop that maintains the website for Chris turned to selling advertising space on the site. Keep in mind that these ads were all randomly generated by metadata created by Chris and the people browsing his site, not special hand-crafted ads made by [[trolls]]. Due to the somewhat complicated laws of the jurisdiction in which the servers reside, ads may only be purchased from within the European Union.

Chris makes '''NO''' money from the advertisement revenue. All of it goes to keeping CWCipedia up and running.

Chris responded to these ads with a few complaints to the admin and [[Jack Thaddeus]], who has so far been the only donor who has delivered over €1000, qualifying him to create custom advertisements on the site. [[CWC Blog#7 December 2009|In a blog post]], Chris hoped that ''someone'' within the EU would be able to step up and donate so much money that they'd not only qualify for custom ads, but help to ''remove'' the homoerotic ads that appeared on the site (even though most online advertisers give ''no'' such heavy-handed preferential treatment to premium advertisers, and indeed, no such stated policy exists in CWCipedia either). Even though it may be tempting for some European fans, the appeal of this opportunity seems limited. You can buy a [[PS3]] for you ''and'' your friend with €1000. Or buy three [[Hex Bawx|Hex-Boxes]]. Or four Wiis. Who ''would'' pass up such an opportunity?

On 27 December 2009, the ad space, which was previously at the very bottom of CWCipedia's navbar on the left side of the page, was moved to the very top of the navbar. Another ad appeared on Chris's main page beside the logo. On 28 December, Chris flipped out and replaced it with an ad for the his beloved [[My Coke Rewards]] program. The Sysop, however, [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu#Do_NOT_tamper_with_the_advertisements scolded Chris], telling him that ''he'' had no control over the ads.

On 30 December 2009 Chris, unable to change the now-protected main page, lashed out the only way he could, by adding a block of text to the bottom of his (already hideously ugly) front page image, declaring that no ads were allowed on that page. In the message he said that he would not remove this block of text until the offending ads were removed from the main page. To put this in perspective, Chris ''defaced his own website'' in an attempt to get someone else to stop advertising on it. You can guess how well that worked.

On 2 January 2010, Chris began cluttering the website with his ads again, shilling for [[CWC Cola|Coca-Cola]], [[Wild Sonichu|Avatar]] and [[It's UGH!|Proposition 8]]. He took his self-bestowed title of [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Captain]] to an absolute extreme, posting the following message to CWCipedia:
{{quote| I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another [[Mailbag]] or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so [[Chris and his Ego|as Captain of this website vessel]].
'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''}}

Additionally, Chris posted the following message to his [[Twitter]]:
{{quote|C.C. Sonichu says:...Removal of Any of ALL of MY Ads is consider Mutiny, and [[Chris and Anger|Mutiny will not be tolerated.]] Stay Safe, and have a good day.}}

As to whether or not [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]] will receive forty lashes less one for his inevitable insubordination, Chris has no comment.

Due to gay porn ads on the CWCipedia, on 01 [[February 2010]] Chris [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|unleashed]] a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] upon Mao "Bamboo" Ling, after which he "[[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologized]]" to Alec and [[Evan]].

Eventually, on 26 [[February 2010]], Jack Thaddeus returned with an unclickable ad reading "JACK'S BACK" (in text, later converted to a jpeg) and featuring a picture of a man releasing his [[navy]]. Chris has yet to react.

{{collapsible
|CWCipedia advertisement gallery. ''Note: The captions in this gallery are the alt text and links for the ads.''
|<gallery>
Image:CWCipediaAudiobookAd.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#g/c/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1 Watch the newest audiobooks here!]
Image:CWCipediaAutismAd.jpg|[http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/ Asperger's Syndrome is a serious condition. Get the Facts.]
Image:CWCipediaVlasicAd.jpg|[http://www.vlasic.com/ Taste the Juicy Crunch!]
Image:CWCipediaGayRightsAd.jpg|[http://gayrights.change.org/ Support Family Guys everywhere!]
Image:CWCipediaMexicoAd.jpg|[http://mexico-travel.com/ Discover the facinating world of Mexico]
Image:AxeAd1.png|We all know how [[homos|manly]] [[Axe]] is.
Image:AxeAd2.jpg|In stores now!
Image:Beepboop.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:DateThree.png|[http://www.lotsofloves.com/ Quit playing the waiting game!]
Image:DebtConsolidation.gif|A [[Chris and money| Chris and his money]] are soon parted
Image:DicksSporting.png|[http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/home/index.jsp No Joke]
Image:Diversity.png|But [[niggos|"No Darkies"]]
Image:DuckPreservationSociety.png|[http://www.woodducksociety.com/ You should always take good care of your duck!]
Image:Eyesight.png|Plus, if you go blind, you can't enjoy shirtless men.
Image:Fkinglie.png
Image:GayAutismCure.jpg|Get yours today!
Image:GayAutisticSingles.jpg|The man of your dreams could be living next door!
Image:GayAutisticSon.jpg|I bet Chris [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Could.]] [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|Twice]].
Image:GayDrawing1.png|[[Sonichu (comic)|Case in point.]]
Image:GayDrawing2.png|You know what sounds like [[Autism|artistic]]?
Image:GayForGod.png|[[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] Approves.
Image:GayOtakuSexClub.jpg|Can I bring my [[Anime Wings]]?
Image:GayPokemonDVDs.png|That's digusting! Get a [[Muscle bra]] and cover up!
Image:GLISTENINGHALF-NAKEDBLACKMEN.jpg|This one is my favorite.
Image:Heavenlyreward.png|After you die, you get your [[Semen#Comeuppance|Comeuppance]].
Image:HEXBAWKSad.png|A [[Hex Bawx|"Life upgrade"]].
Image:HGwait4u1.png|He's already a [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|fan]]
Image:HGwait4u2.png|AUTISM HOOOOOOU~
Image:Hitlerpedia.png|[http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights.html Bill of Rights]
Image:HOTTHROBBINGGAYCOCKjpg.jpg|Cumming to butts near you.
Image:JoinTheNavy.gif|[http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-425.html/ DON'T ASK DON'T TELL]
Image:JustGuys.png|There's nothing wrong with [[High_school#Social_life|only hanging out with one gender]]
Image:Knight.png
Image:PlayNow.png
Image:Kool-Aid.png|It's recommended by 9 out of 10 High Functioning Autistics
Image:LearnAboutIslam.png|Chris has lots of [[mailbag|fans in the middle east]]
Image:Lipitor.png|Better [[Chris and health|stop taking it]] before it makes you [[homos|gay]]
Image:Mystery pic.png|Can you identify our mystery penis?
Image:Naivewater.png|[[Naïve|It's not what you think it is]]
Image:OK2BGay.png|[http://okaytobegay.blogspot.com/ There's a big difference between bending down and kneeling over]
Image:OxieCleanAd.gif|GETS OUT AUTISM, FAST! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!
Image:PickelParty.png|Sounds promising
Image:PicklePops.png|Pop a Pickle in your mouth today!
Image:PKMN4HP.gif|That HP kid is a total [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spastic spaz]
Image:Sexvote.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:Specialsomeone.png|They don't meet the [[Attraction Sign|requirements]]
Image:This2this.png|Go from [[Obesity|THIS]] to [[Clyde Cash|THIS]]!
Image:VirginiaLaw.png|[[Jerkop|I am the LAW]]
Image:CWCipediaChrisLesGayAd.png|[http://www.eflgc.org.uk/ What do you mean, 'gay and Christian'? It's not possible... or is it?]

</gallery>}}

==The Twitter feed==
{{main|Twitter}}

On 25 December 2009, the WikiSysop added a live Twitter feed to the [[Mailbag|mailbag]]. This was short-lived, as on the early morning of the 27th Chris removed it in a fit of rage and added the following note:

{{quote|o I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT YOU GOD DAMN GAYS!!! I F***ING HATE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF TROLLS WHO MESS WITH ME AND MY LIFE!

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

NO TWITTER ALLOWED!!!|

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:31, 27 December 2009 (CET) }}

Exactly five minutes later Chris would create a special page for the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Twitter Twitter] feed, and delete the homophobic outburst quoted above. Chris would create a Twitter account for himself [[Chris and hypocrisy|the very next day]], regaling his fans with stories of him doing yardwork. The wise and magnanimous Wiki Administrator later put to the feed to the front page of CWCipedia, due to the fact that ''(ahem)'' it probably needed some wider exposure.

==CWCipedia closed due to a<strike>I</strike>DS==
[[Image:CWCipedia-Home-Copyright.jpg|thumb|The CWCipedia as it appeared on 1/1/10]]

During the last weeks of 2009, Chris became more infuriated as the gay ads continued piling up. In desperation, Chris began placing ads of his own that didn't inspire uncomfortable questions about his sexuality. The Sysop became furious at Chris's unauthorized interference and warned him that if he didn't remove the ads, serious consequences could happen.

On 2 January 2010, the CWCipedia was served a cease and desist notice by the Coca-Cola Company for its unauthorized use of their logo on the site. Thus, the Sysop was forced to close the website for a few days until the matter could be resolved. Having learned a little first-hand regarding what [[Chris and copyright|copyright law]] is all about, Chris issued an [[This_was_my_fault|apology]] on YouTube. In the video he claimed that he thought Coke would appreciate the free advertisement, but he is completely unaware that no self-respecting company would ever want their product to be associated with his [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page Website of Fail].

Within a few days the site was returned to normal.

==CWCipedia closed (again) due to theft==
[[Image:Cwcipedia closed again.jpg|thumb|right|The CWCipedia's source page as of 2/6/10]]
In the early morning of 6 Feburary 2010, the CWCipedia was closed down again, this time thanks to a DMCA request from representatives of [[Evan|Evan George]]. According to the request, Chris's use of the character [[Simonla Rosechu]] on his website and in his comics infringes upon Evan's intellectual property, as Simonla is clearly a derivative of Evan's character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]]. This was most likely triggered by Chris's announcement, [[5_February_2010|in a video from 5 February]], that he agreed to do away with Simonla and stop featuring her in his comics, but only at an unspecified "later" time.

Three days after the CWCipedia was locked to edits, it was wiped from the internet entirely. In its place appeared a redirect link to Asperpedia; however, due to a bug, it redirected to an online role-playing game, ''Dogs of the Seas''.

==CWCipedia lives on==
On 12 February 2010, the CWCipedia was revived to a certain extent. Although it was still locked to edits and only a "login required" screen was accessible, it was functional enough for Alec Benson Leary to display the first two pages of "[[Asperchu#Sonichu_Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]." The next day, Chris fulfilled [[Evan]]'s request and the CWCipedia was restored for all people to see. "Sonichu Revolution" continued onward from there, prominently featured at the top of every page of the CWCipedia.

On 24 February 2010, a new set of ads appeared on the CWCipedia, calling Chris out on his [[Christian Love Day (video)|unwarranted self-importance]] on his birthday, with a message from [[Fan: Moon-Pals|Sean]] imploring fans to give gifts to victims in Haiti instead. The next day, CWCipedia vanished for a couple of minutes for unknown reasons. Likely due to Wild and Simonla's [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]]. When it returned, for a few days visitors were treated to the sight of a series of animated ads featuring gigantic ejaculating cocks, revenge from Jack Thaddeus in response to Chris's execution of the Asperpedia Four at the end of [[Sonichu 10]].

==CWCipedia closed due to parody==
Going into March 2010, Chris appeared to lose all interest in updating the site or presenting any meaningful new content. He neglected updating the Mailbag and stopped uploading new comic pages. His only additions to the site in the first three weeks of March were a series of rants directed at trolls and his fans, where he accused them of breaking up his pursuit of [[the Wallflower]] and complained that the demand for new Sonichu comics was ruining his life.

On 18 March 2010, CWCipedia was taken down and replaced with a redirect to a [[parody]] version of the website run by [[Mao]]. The Sysop had decided to allow Mao to buy a permanent redirect for 100 dollars. Since Chris was the captain, he decided to sail the U.S.S. CWCipedia into an iceberg and let it sink, making Jack pull all his funding and forcing the Sysop to shut the site down for good.

==CWCipedia opened for everybody==
{{Quote|STOP THIS!!! THIS IS MY DOMAIN, and I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FAGGOTS SCREW IT UP!!!|Chris, somewhat upset.}}
[[Image:Niggachris.jpg|thumb|One of the hundreds of images uploaded by trolls during their epic vandalism.]]

A day later, however, the original CWCipedia returned. At the same time, Mao was given sysop, bureaucrat, and oversight powers on the site, suggesting the arrival of a new "captain" on deck. The result was much good vandalism, most notably on the main page itself, by "Kine", "SEANBOTMK2", "ALECBOTMK2", "EVANBOTMK2", and "Metal Asperchu." Soon, account creation was enabled for all and the website was utterly vandalized in a flurry of [[duck|genitalia]].

==CWCipedia closed to outside edits again==
Early on 22 March WikiSysop returned to the site after being [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu&curid=46&diff=5987&oldid=5928 busy on other projects] and quickly reversed everything back to the pre-Mao state of the site. However much of the pictoral vandalism continues to remain in the history of many of the pages.

==See also==
*[[Mailbag]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]
*[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]
*[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
*[[:Category:Articles with matching CWCipedia articles|CWCki articles with matching CWCipedia articles]]

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia (vandalized)]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia (pre-vandalism)]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Special:Recentchanges?hidebots=0 Recent Changes] - monitor Chris's (and the bots') latest updates
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Special:Recentchanges&feed=rss Recent Changes RSS Feed] - receive Chris's latest updates automatically

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:CWCipedia]]
{{Documents}}

CWCipedia

2010-03-22T03:26:12Z

Allen Longbolt: /* CWCipedia opened for everybody */ Sysop regains control

{{Honest}}
{{protip|Incorporate stuff from CWCipedia into CWCki to get the high score!!}}

[[Image:CWCipedia Introduction.jpg|thumb|right|Chris proudly claims the CWCipedia in the name of [[CWCville]]]]

{{quote|Abandon hope all ye who enter here.|From Dante's Divine Comedy, eerily summing up CWCipedia}}

'''CWCipedia''' (not to be confused with the [[CWCki]]) was a wiki set up for the sole use of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], as a sort of personal Wiki as opposed to Chris vandalizing the CWCki with his bullshit. Furthermore, it is designed to allow Chris to "get the truth out" as he so desired to do on [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|his Wikipedia profile]].

Since its inception, Chris has more or less treated the page as free web hosting, a place to put his comics without having to pay for the resulting bandwidth use. CWCipedia also served as the ultimate test of the use of MediaWiki software and software usability, in that it strived to create a platform that even an [[autism|autistic]] manchild/lazy fuck can easily use. Of course, Chris, being a retarded fuckface, still managed to fuck it up from time to time, even with a Sysop holding his hand.

Chris has a tendency to let his mind wander while typing up his entries. For example, in his [[Sonichu]] article he ends up going off on a rant explaining what had happened to [[Kel]] (even though it didn't involve Sonichu at all), and the fact that Chris himself is the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon gym. This leads into Chris describing his supposed gym at length, what Pokémon he has in his team, and his collection of Pokémon in the game (in addition to their level and how he had levelled them). This somehow leads to a fantastically retarded idea for a Pokémon game system that's basically just the holographic projectors from [[Yu-Gi-Oh]], except with Pokémon. After all of that dumbfuckery he gets back to talking about Sonichu again.

==The early days==
Several months after Chris began using the wiki proceeded without incident. He was able to display his comics and music, share more details of his personal life, reveal more background information about the world of CWCville, and shout his bizarre homophobic rantings from the virtual rooftops in peace. The administrators of the site remained a silent, benevolent force behind the scenes.

Towards the end of 2009, this would change.

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Untitled.png|thumb|100px|left|Ensuring that Chris sees them EVERY TIME he visits.]]
[[Image:NewCWCipediaFrontpage.jpg|thumb|Chris's revised frontpage]]
As 2009 came to a close, CWCipedia's operators ran into financial trouble keeping the site in the black, given the many hits it gets on a daily basis and the profusion of large files held on its servers. To help keep the site up and running for its TRUE and LOYAL [[fans]], the Sysop that maintains the website for Chris turned to selling advertising space on the site. Keep in mind that these ads were all randomly generated by metadata created by Chris and the people browsing his site, not special hand-crafted ads made by [[trolls]]. Due to the somewhat complicated laws of the jurisdiction in which the servers reside, ads may only be purchased from within the European Union.

Chris makes '''NO''' money from the advertisement revenue. All of it goes to keeping CWCipedia up and running.

Chris responded to these ads with a few complaints to the admin and [[Jack Thaddeus]], who has so far been the only donor who has delivered over €1000, qualifying him to create custom advertisements on the site. [[CWC Blog#7 December 2009|In a blog post]], Chris hoped that ''someone'' within the EU would be able to step up and donate so much money that they'd not only qualify for custom ads, but help to ''remove'' the homoerotic ads that appeared on the site (even though most online advertisers give ''no'' such heavy-handed preferential treatment to premium advertisers, and indeed, no such stated policy exists in CWCipedia either). Even though it may be tempting for some European fans, the appeal of this opportunity seems limited. You can buy a [[PS3]] for you ''and'' your friend with €1000. Or buy three [[Hex Bawx|Hex-Boxes]]. Or four Wiis. Who ''would'' pass up such an opportunity?

On 27 December 2009, the ad space, which was previously at the very bottom of CWCipedia's navbar on the left side of the page, was moved to the very top of the navbar. Another ad appeared on Chris's main page beside the logo. On 28 December, Chris flipped out and replaced it with an ad for the his beloved [[My Coke Rewards]] program. The Sysop, however, [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu#Do_NOT_tamper_with_the_advertisements scolded Chris], telling him that ''he'' had no control over the ads.

On 30 December 2009 Chris, unable to change the now-protected main page, lashed out the only way he could, by adding a block of text to the bottom of his (already hideously ugly) front page image, declaring that no ads were allowed on that page. In the message he said that he would not remove this block of text until the offending ads were removed from the main page. To put this in perspective, Chris ''defaced his own website'' in an attempt to get someone else to stop advertising on it. You can guess how well that worked.

On 2 January 2010, Chris began cluttering the website with his ads again, shilling for [[CWC Cola|Coca-Cola]], [[Wild Sonichu|Avatar]] and [[It's UGH!|Proposition 8]]. He took his self-bestowed title of [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Captain]] to an absolute extreme, posting the following message to CWCipedia:
{{quote| I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another [[Mailbag]] or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so [[Chris and his Ego|as Captain of this website vessel]].
'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''}}

Additionally, Chris posted the following message to his [[Twitter]]:
{{quote|C.C. Sonichu says:...Removal of Any of ALL of MY Ads is consider Mutiny, and [[Chris and Anger|Mutiny will not be tolerated.]] Stay Safe, and have a good day.}}

As to whether or not [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]] will receive forty lashes less one for his inevitable insubordination, Chris has no comment.

Due to gay porn ads on the CWCipedia, on 01 [[February 2010]] Chris [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|unleashed]] a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] upon Mao "Bamboo" Ling, after which he "[[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologized]]" to Alec and [[Evan]].

Eventually, on 26 [[February 2010]], Jack Thaddeus returned with an unclickable ad reading "JACK'S BACK" (in text, later converted to a jpeg) and featuring a picture of a man releasing his [[navy]]. Chris has yet to react.

{{collapsible
|CWCipedia advertisement gallery. ''Note: The captions in this gallery are the alt text and links for the ads.''
|<gallery>
Image:CWCipediaAudiobookAd.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#g/c/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1 Watch the newest audiobooks here!]
Image:CWCipediaAutismAd.jpg|[http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/ Asperger's Syndrome is a serious condition. Get the Facts.]
Image:CWCipediaVlasicAd.jpg|[http://www.vlasic.com/ Taste the Juicy Crunch!]
Image:CWCipediaGayRightsAd.jpg|[http://gayrights.change.org/ Support Family Guys everywhere!]
Image:CWCipediaMexicoAd.jpg|[http://mexico-travel.com/ Discover the facinating world of Mexico]
Image:AxeAd1.png|We all know how [[homos|manly]] [[Axe]] is.
Image:AxeAd2.jpg|In stores now!
Image:Beepboop.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:DateThree.png|[http://www.lotsofloves.com/ Quit playing the waiting game!]
Image:DebtConsolidation.gif|A [[Chris and money| Chris and his money]] are soon parted
Image:DicksSporting.png|[http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/home/index.jsp No Joke]
Image:Diversity.png|But [[niggos|"No Darkies"]]
Image:DuckPreservationSociety.png|[http://www.woodducksociety.com/ You should always take good care of your duck!]
Image:Eyesight.png|Plus, if you go blind, you can't enjoy shirtless men.
Image:Fkinglie.png
Image:GayAutismCure.jpg|Get yours today!
Image:GayAutisticSingles.jpg|The man of your dreams could be living next door!
Image:GayAutisticSon.jpg|I bet Chris [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Could.]] [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|Twice]].
Image:GayDrawing1.png|[[Sonichu (comic)|Case in point.]]
Image:GayDrawing2.png|You know what sounds like [[Autism|artistic]]?
Image:GayForGod.png|[[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] Approves.
Image:GayOtakuSexClub.jpg|Can I bring my [[Anime Wings]]?
Image:GayPokemonDVDs.png|That's digusting! Get a [[Muscle bra]] and cover up!
Image:GLISTENINGHALF-NAKEDBLACKMEN.jpg|This one is my favorite.
Image:Heavenlyreward.png|After you die, you get your [[Semen#Comeuppance|Comeuppance]].
Image:HEXBAWKSad.png|A [[Hex Bawx|"Life upgrade"]].
Image:HGwait4u1.png|He's already a [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|fan]]
Image:HGwait4u2.png|AUTISM HOOOOOOU~
Image:Hitlerpedia.png|[http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights.html Bill of Rights]
Image:HOTTHROBBINGGAYCOCKjpg.jpg|Cumming to butts near you.
Image:JoinTheNavy.gif|[http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-425.html/ DON'T ASK DON'T TELL]
Image:JustGuys.png|There's nothing wrong with [[High_school#Social_life|only hanging out with one gender]]
Image:Knight.png
Image:PlayNow.png
Image:Kool-Aid.png|It's recommended by 9 out of 10 High Functioning Autistics
Image:LearnAboutIslam.png|Chris has lots of [[mailbag|fans in the middle east]]
Image:Lipitor.png|Better [[Chris and health|stop taking it]] before it makes you [[homos|gay]]
Image:Mystery pic.png|Can you identify our mystery penis?
Image:Naivewater.png|[[Naïve|It's not what you think it is]]
Image:OK2BGay.png|[http://okaytobegay.blogspot.com/ There's a big difference between bending down and kneeling over]
Image:OxieCleanAd.gif|GETS OUT AUTISM, FAST! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!
Image:PickelParty.png|Sounds promising
Image:PicklePops.png|Pop a Pickle in your mouth today!
Image:PKMN4HP.gif|That HP kid is a total [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spastic spaz]
Image:Sexvote.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:Specialsomeone.png|They don't meet the [[Attraction Sign|requirements]]
Image:This2this.png|Go from [[Obesity|THIS]] to [[Clyde Cash|THIS]]!
Image:VirginiaLaw.png|[[Jerkop|I am the LAW]]
Image:CWCipediaChrisLesGayAd.png|[http://www.eflgc.org.uk/ What do you mean, 'gay and Christian'? It's not possible... or is it?]

</gallery>}}

==The Twitter feed==
{{main|Twitter}}

On 25 December 2009, the WikiSysop added a live Twitter feed to the [[Mailbag|mailbag]]. This was short-lived, as on the early morning of the 27th Chris removed it in a fit of rage and added the following note:

{{quote|o I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT YOU GOD DAMN GAYS!!! I F***ING HATE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF TROLLS WHO MESS WITH ME AND MY LIFE!

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

NO TWITTER ALLOWED!!!|

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:31, 27 December 2009 (CET) }}

Exactly five minutes later Chris would create a special page for the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Twitter Twitter] feed, and delete the homophobic outburst quoted above. Chris would create a Twitter account for himself [[Chris and hypocrisy|the very next day]], regaling his fans with stories of him doing yardwork. The wise and magnanimous Wiki Administrator later put to the feed to the front page of CWCipedia, due to the fact that ''(ahem)'' it probably needed some wider exposure.

==CWCipedia closed due to a<strike>I</strike>DS==
[[Image:CWCipedia-Home-Copyright.jpg|thumb|The CWCipedia as it appeared on 1/1/10]]

During the last weeks of 2009, Chris became more infuriated as the gay ads continued piling up. In desperation, Chris began placing ads of his own that didn't inspire uncomfortable questions about his sexuality. The Sysop became furious at Chris's unauthorized interference and warned him that if he didn't remove the ads, serious consequences could happen.

On 2 January 2010, the CWCipedia was served a cease and desist notice by the Coca-Cola Company for its unauthorized use of their logo on the site. Thus, the Sysop was forced to close the website for a few days until the matter could be resolved. Having learned a little first-hand regarding what [[Chris and copyright|copyright law]] is all about, Chris issued an [[This_was_my_fault|apology]] on YouTube. In the video he claimed that he thought Coke would appreciate the free advertisement, but he is completely unaware that no self-respecting company would ever want their product to be associated with his [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page Website of Fail].

Within a few days the site was returned to normal.

==CWCipedia closed (again) due to theft==
[[Image:Cwcipedia closed again.jpg|thumb|right|The CWCipedia's source page as of 2/6/10]]
In the early morning of 6 Feburary 2010, the CWCipedia was closed down again, this time thanks to a DMCA request from representatives of [[Evan|Evan George]]. According to the request, Chris's use of the character [[Simonla Rosechu]] on his website and in his comics infringes upon Evan's intellectual property, as Simonla is clearly a derivative of Evan's character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]]. This was most likely triggered by Chris's announcement, [[5_February_2010|in a video from 5 February]], that he agreed to do away with Simonla and stop featuring her in his comics, but only at an unspecified "later" time.

Three days after the CWCipedia was locked to edits, it was wiped from the internet entirely. In its place appeared a redirect link to Asperpedia; however, due to a bug, it redirected to an online role-playing game, ''Dogs of the Seas''.

==CWCipedia lives on==
On 12 February 2010, the CWCipedia was revived to a certain extent. Although it was still locked to edits and only a "login required" screen was accessible, it was functional enough for Alec Benson Leary to display the first two pages of "[[Asperchu#Sonichu_Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]." The next day, Chris fulfilled [[Evan]]'s request and the CWCipedia was restored for all people to see. "Sonichu Revolution" continued onward from there, prominently featured at the top of every page of the CWCipedia.

On 24 February 2010, a new set of ads appeared on the CWCipedia, calling Chris out on his [[Christian Love Day (video)|unwarranted self-importance]] on his birthday, with a message from [[Fan: Moon-Pals|Sean]] imploring fans to give gifts to victims in Haiti instead. The next day, CWCipedia vanished for a couple of minutes for unknown reasons. Likely due to Wild and Simonla's [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]]. When it returned, for a few days visitors were treated to the sight of a series of animated ads featuring gigantic ejaculating cocks, revenge from Jack Thaddeus in response to Chris's execution of the Asperpedia Four at the end of [[Sonichu 10]].

==CWCipedia closed due to parody==
Going into March 2010, Chris appeared to lose all interest in updating the site or presenting any meaningful new content. He neglected updating the Mailbag and stopped uploading new comic pages. His only additions to the site in the first three weeks of March were a series of rants directed at trolls and his fans, where he accused them of breaking up his pursuit of [[the Wallflower]] and complained that the demand for new Sonichu comics was ruining his life.

On 18 March 2010, CWCipedia was taken down and replaced with a redirect to a [[parody]] version of the website run by [[Mao]]. The Sysop had decided to allow Mao to buy a permanent redirect for 100 dollars. Since Chris was the captain, he decided to sail the U.S.S. CWCipedia into an iceberg and let it sink, making Jack pull all his funding and forcing the Sysop to shut the site down for good.

==CWCipedia opened for everybody==
{{Quote|STOP THIS!!! THIS IS MY DOMAIN, and I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FAGGOTS SCREW IT UP!!!|Chris, somewhat upset.}}
[[Image:Niggachris.jpg|thumb|One of the hundreds of images uploaded by trolls during their epic vandalism.]]

A day later, however, the original CWCipedia returned. At the same time, Mao was given sysop, bureaucrat, and oversight powers on the site, suggesting the arrival of a new "captain" on deck. The result was much good vandalism, most notably on the main page itself, by "Kine", "SEANBOTMK2", "ALECBOTMK2", "EVANBOTMK2", and "Metal Asperchu." Soon, account creation was enabled for all and the website was utterly vandalized in a flurry of [[duck|genitalia]].

==CWCipedia closed to outside edits again==
Early on 21 March WikiSysop returned to the site after being [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu&curid=46&diff=5987&oldid=5928 busy on other projects] and quickly reversed everything back to the pre-Mao state of the site. However much of the pictoral vandalism continues to remain in the history of many of the pages.

==See also==
*[[Mailbag]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]
*[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]
*[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
*[[:Category:Articles with matching CWCipedia articles|CWCki articles with matching CWCipedia articles]]

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia (vandalized)]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia (pre-vandalism)]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Special:Recentchanges?hidebots=0 Recent Changes] - monitor Chris's (and the bots') latest updates
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Special:Recentchanges&feed=rss Recent Changes RSS Feed] - receive Chris's latest updates automatically

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:CWCipedia]]
{{Documents}}

PSEye

2010-03-19T04:04:44Z

Allen Longbolt: alt. camera

{{taxpayermoney}}

<center>{{#ev:youtube|m-uh2Gfuo40}}</center>

{{quote|I've also had better practices with eye-contact, by giving eye-contact to my webcam/PSEye|Chris tells [[Sarah May]] how the PSEye cured his [[autism]]}}

[[Image:PSEye.jpg|thumb|The PSEye: Chris's window to the world.]]

The '''PSEye''' digital camera for the [[PlayStation 3]] is [[Chris]]'s window to the world and capture device of choice for his "[[Captain's Log]]" vlogs.

It was allegedly confiscated because of an anonymous [[troll]] sending his father [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] an envelope containing several postcards featuring screen captures of his [[For Julie's Eyes Only|rubber doll sex-capades]].

The PSEye is, by all accounts, a decent enough webcam that is able to produce good video at YouTube standard definition, and beyond. Yet, in typical Chris fashion, you just can't tell that from Chris's videos; Chris enthusiastically hypes his [[Sony|favorite manufacturer]] and produces utter crap with them, so if your only information about Sony products comes from Chris, you would be led to believe that the camera is actually overpriced piece of shit and you should stick with Logitech like all sensible people. ([[LittleBigPlanet|We've seen this before.]])

Video captured with the PSEye can be edited with software called EyeCreate; the resulting file is an "EyeCreate Video" or '''ECV'''. When Chris uploads a video to YouTube without giving it a title, the default title is "ECV" followed by a five-digit number. Chris occasionally titles his videos in a similar format (e.g. "CWC Update 03042009"), perhaps in a deliberate reference.

As time goes on, his PSEye seems to become more and more prone to both video and audio skips, probably because he doesn't take care of it and will throw things at it and knock it around in his videos. Since 14 October, his PSEye is malfunctioning more than ever, after Chris [[Chris Loses It|threw his telephone at it]] in a retarded fit of [[Random-access humor|random access humor]].

[[File:Kodak Camera.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The alternate camera used in non-PSEye videos, which sees just as much abuse.]]

The recent structural stress to the camera seems to have affected the microphone since the video [[Brutal Legend]] uploaded the 18 [[October 2009]] is completely mute. The following video [[Brutal Legend Plus]] saw the return of sound but only as much as the tortured camera can transmit after the beating it took, forcing Chris to sound upsettingly like Max Headroom. This is only exaggerated by [[Speech Impediment|how much Chris' voice can fluctuate while speaking]]. How much longer the camera will last remains to be seen.

There has been [[mass debating|debate]] over whether or not Chris indeed used a PSEye, or the EyeToy camera developed for the PlayStation 2 console. PSEyes are capable of a much higher resolution than the shitty quality typically evident in Chris's videos. However, when he filmed his [[10252009 For Kacey]] video using a different camera, a PSEye could be seen sitting on top of the television behind him, confirming that the PSEye is yet another thing Chris [[fail]]s at.

However, as of [[Christian Love Day (video)|Christian Love Day]], Chris has obtained a digital camera that has much, '''much''' better quality than this shit. All paid for with his [[monthly tugboat]]. But then Chris starts using the PSEye again in [[02 March 2010]], making his purchase worthless.

==See also==
*[[Camerawork]]
*[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:PlayStation_Eye|Wikipedia article on PSEye]]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yITC3U9ifdY Follow up to PSEye Abuse]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

File:Kodak Camera.jpg

2010-03-19T04:01:39Z

Allen Longbolt: A Kodak EasyShare CX7330, Chris's alternate camera according to the EXIF info in :File:FuckYouTito.jpg.

A Kodak EasyShare CX7330, Chris's alternate camera according to the [[Wikipedia:EXIF|EXIF info]] in [[:File:FuckYouTito.jpg]].

Don't Mess With Me

2010-03-11T07:47:02Z

Allen Longbolt: so not calming down

'''Don't Mess With Me''' (video name: '''Don't Mess With Me.mp4''') is another video Chris made for trolls on 10 March 2010. Heightening the rhetoric against those who go against him from his [[A message to the Trolls|previous video]] that day, he begins playacting what he thinks would happen if he actually met a troll.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Don't Mess With Me.MP4
| image = {{#ev:youtube|hcB8L_aWlW0}}
| Stardate = 10 [[March 2010]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = [[Image:Jokershirt.png]] The Joker
| previous = [[A message to the Trolls]]
| next = '''Current'''
}}

===Transcript===
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A message to the Trolls]]|nextlink=Current|}}
{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos]]

Surfshack Tito (video)

2010-03-03T05:40:13Z

Allen Longbolt: who that guy is named after

'''Surfshack Tito''' (also known as '''''Surfshak Tito.MOV''''') is a rather odd video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 02 [[March 2010]]. In it he threatens some enigmatic Character named Surfshack Tito (likely named for the hangout and grandfatherly character in the awful and intolerable Nicktoon ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''), who is probably one of the many trolls that plague his existence.
==Video==

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = Surfshack Tito.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|3BpXubqmxEg}}
| Stardate = 02 [[March 2010]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Television.png]] Television
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = [[Image:Tanwidestripeshirt.png]] Tan Wide Lines
| previous = [[02 March 2010]]
| next = '''Current'''
}}</center>

[[Image:Tito_300.gif|thumb|"Big kahunas need bigger boards."]]

===Transcription===

Surfshack Tito! [''Chris makes a quizzical face, and speaks in a high-pitched voice''] I know you!

[''Dramatic glasses removal'']

You'll get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares. [''makes an [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha#Execution and effect|odd, one-fingered gesture]]''] Pshew!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[02 March 2010]]|nextlink=Current|}}

[[Category:Videos]]

February 2010

2010-02-24T05:07:40Z

Allen Longbolt:

==Events of February 2010==

[[Image:Irony.png|thumb|right|Oh, the irony.]]
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|On '''18 February 2010''', Chris uploads a bunch of Rosechu art that he drew in [[2008]].]]

* 1 February - The SysOp uploads [[Mailbag 52]], Chris answers [[Mailbag 51]] and Chris uploads a [[CWC_address_to_Royal_Board|new video]] addressing the "Royal Board of Certification" in London then uploads [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|another video]] Curse-ye-ha-me-haing Mao for his Asperchu ads and then then [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologizes to Alec and Evan]], but not Mao or Sean.
* 2 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 53]]. Chris uses his [[CWC Blog|blog]] to tell his nonexistent personal army to email Mao about the new ads.
* 3 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 54]].
* 4 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 55]], in which Chris gets a conditional date offer from a deceased porn star.
* 5 February - Chris changes his featured quote to reflect his current status of not being dead.
* 5 February - Chris uploads a [[5 February 2010|pair of videos]] in which he assures YouTube that he is alive, offers to kill off [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]], and talks about rape and hamsters.
* 6 February - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page&action=edit The CWCipedia is locked to edits] due to a cease and desist regarding [[Simonla Rosechu]].
* 8 February - The [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia] is wiped out, replaced by a link to [[Asperpedia]]. However, due to a bug, it redirects to an MMO game ''Dogs of the Seas''.
* 9 February - Chris makes a video about how the Mao, Alec, Evan and Sean have [[9 February 2010|destroyed the undestroyable.]]
* 9 February - Mao leaks [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Calls|seven phone conversations]] between Alec and Chris.
* 11 February - Chris once again makes a scene in Family Guy when [[Meg Griffin]] is a hot chick the featured video on his [[Youtube]] page, but is taken down due to a [[copyright]] claim from Twentieth Century Fox.
* 13 February - Evan releases [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Guest_Comic_By_Christopher_Christian_Ricardo_Weston_Chandler the Simonla death pages].
* 14 February - CWCipedia is back to normal, but with adverts to Sonichu Revolution up.
* 14 February - A third page of [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page Sonichu Revolution] is added. Chris updates his [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Template:Captain's_Log blog].
* 14 February - Chris promotes Sonichu using the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Template:Featured_CWC-Supported_Advertisment "Got milk?" campaign], but as usual does not have permission to use the phrase from the party behind the copyrighted quote.
* 14 February - Chris ''barely'' answers [[Mailbag 52]], and [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_51&curid=2090&diff=3840&oldid=3819 amends] his comment on gay soldiers.
* 14 February - Chris posts a new Captains Log blog post, in which he claims to have found a "girl friend".
* 16 February - Chris adds a [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Character_Bios Character Bio page] which still includes Simonla and BILLY MAYS. A fourth page of Sonichu Revolution is added.
* 17 February - Chris answers [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_53 Mailbag 53]; the Sysop uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_57 Mailbag 57]. A fifth page of Sonichu Revolution is added.
* 18 February - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_75 Page 75], and a terribly formatted page for [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Rosechu Rosechu]. A sixth and seventh page of Sonichu Revolution is added.
* 18 February - An [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth]] phone conversation between Alec and Chris is leaked.
* 23 February - Chris post the video [[Christian Love Day (video)|Christian Love Day]] only to prove how [[Chris and his Ego|megalomaniacal]] he really is.

{{protip|If you're adding new events, be sure to add them to [[:Template:Da update|da update]] if they are not there already.}}

{{timeline}}

February 2010

2010-02-24T05:07:16Z

Allen Longbolt:

==Events of February 2010==

[[Image:Irony.png|thumb|right|Oh, the irony.]]
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|On '''18 February 2010''', Chris uploads a bunch of Rosechu art that he drew in [[2008]].]]

* 1 February - The SysOp uploads [[Mailbag 52]], Chris answers [[Mailbag 51]] and Chris uploads a [[CWC_address_to_Royal_Board|new video]] addressing the "Royal Board of Certification" in London then uploads [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|another video]] Curse-ye-ha-me-haing Mao for his Asperchu ads and then then [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologizes to Alec and Evan]], but not Mao or Sean.
* 2 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 53]]. Chris uses his [[CWC Blog|blog]] to tell his nonexistent personal army to email Mao about the new ads.
* 3 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 54]].
* 4 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 55]], in which Chris gets a conditional date offer from a deceased porn star.
* 5 February - Chris changes his featured quote to reflect his current status of not being dead.
* 5 February - Chris uploads a [[5 February 2010|pair of videos]] in which he assures YouTube that he is alive, offers to kill off [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]], and talks about rape and hamsters.
* 6 February - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page&action=edit The CWCipedia is locked to edits] due to a cease and desist regarding [[Simonla Rosechu]].
* 8 February - The [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia] is wiped out, replaced by a link to [[Asperpedia]]. However, due to a bug, it redirects to an MMO game ''Dogs of the Seas''.
* 9 February - Chris makes a video about how the Mao, Alec, Evan and Sean have [[9 February 2010|destroyed the undestroyable.]]
* 9 February - Mao leaks [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Calls|seven phone conversations]] between Alec and Chris.
* 11 February - Chris once again makes a scene in Family Guy when [[Meg Griffin]] is a hot chick the featured video on his [[Youtube]] page, but is taken down due to a [[copyright]] claim from Twentieth Century Fox.
* 13 February - Evan releases [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Guest_Comic_By_Christopher_Christian_Ricardo_Weston_Chandler the Simonla death pages].
* 14 February - CWCipedia is back to normal, but with adverts to Sonichu Revolution up.
* 14 February - A third page of [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page Sonichu Revolution] is added. Chris updates his [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Template:Captain's_Log blog].
* 14 February - Chris promotes Sonichu using the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Template:Featured_CWC-Supported_Advertisment "Got milk?" campaign], but as usual does not have permission to use the phrase from the party behind the copyrighted quote.
* 14 February - Chris ''barely'' answers [[Mailbag 52]], and [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_51&curid=2090&diff=3840&oldid=3819 amends] his comment on gay soldiers.
* 14 February - Chris posts a new Captains Log blog post, in which he claims to have found a "girl friend".
* 16 February - Chris adds a [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Character_Bios Character Bio page] which still includes Simonla and BILLY MAYS. A fourth page of Sonichu Revolution is added.
* 17 February - Chris answers [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_53 Mailbag 53]; the Sysop uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_57 Mailbag 57]. A fifth page of Sonichu Revolution is added.
* 18 February - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_75 Page 75], and a terribly formatted page for [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Rosechu Rosechu]. A sixth and seventh page of Sonichu Revolution is added.
* 18 February - An [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth]] phone conversation between Alec and Chris is leaked.
* 23 February - Chris post the video [[Christian Love Day (video)]] only to prove how [[Chris and his Ego|megalomaniacal]] he really is.

{{protip|If you're adding new events, be sure to add them to [[:Template:Da update|da update]] if they are not there already.}}

{{timeline}}

Christian Love Day

2010-02-24T05:06:51Z

Allen Longbolt: rv back (title is under (video) identifier)

#REDIRECT [[Examples_of_Chris's_Ego#Christian_Love_Day]]

Template:Da update

2010-02-24T05:04:45Z

Allen Longbolt: CLD

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 23 February - Chris launches Christian Love Day with an [[Christian Love Day (video)|opening video]].
* 18 February - An [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth]] phone conversation between Alec and Chris is leaked.
* 14 February - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia] is back to normal, but with adverts for (and a fantastically gory new page from) [[Fan:Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]].
* 13 February - Evan releases [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Guest_Comic_By_Christopher_Christian_Ricardo_Weston_Chandler the Simonla death pages].
* 12 February - The [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia] is brought back from the dead; however, it is currently only a page of Alec's Sonichu Revolution.
* 11 February - Chris once again makes a scene in ''[[Family Guy]]'' when [[Meg Griffin]] is a hot chick the featured video on his [[YouTube]] page, but is taken down due to a [[copyright]] claim from Twentieth Century Fox.
* 9 February - Mao leaks [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Calls|seven phone conversations]] between Alec and Chris.
* 9 February - Chris makes a [[9 February 2010|video]] about how the Mao, Alec, Evan and Sean have [[Simonchu|destroyed the undestroyable.]]
* 9 February - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia] is wiped out.
* 6 February - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page&action=edit The CWCipedia is locked to edits] due to a cease and desist regarding [[Simonla Rosechu]].
* 5 February - Chris assures YouTube that he is [[5 February 2010|alive]], and talks about [[rape]] and hamsters.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Christian Love Day (video)

2010-02-24T05:03:12Z

Allen Longbolt: Created page with '"'''Christian Love Day'''" is a video uploaded on 23 February 2010 to commemorate Christian's self-created holiday, which just happens to fall on his bi…'

"'''Christian Love Day'''" is a video uploaded on 23 [[February 2010]] to commemorate Christian's [[Chris and his Ego|self-created holiday]], which just happens to fall on his birthday.

{{#ev:youtube|ibYDweI1e6c}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Sony

2010-02-12T01:20:58Z

Allen Longbolt: Sony TV

'''''Sony''' is an electronics company. It is not to be confused with [[Sonee]], the pre-evolution of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].''
[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|400px|center|Thank you for helping me meet [[trolls]]]]

'''Sony''' is one of [[Chris]]'s game company hardons. Creator of the [[PS3]], PlayStation 2, and the PlayStation Eye. In a odd way, we have to blame Sony perhaps more than [[Nintendo]] for contributing to Chris's mental degradation (after all, Nintendo never gave him a camera and unfiltered Internet access).

==The company and Chris==

As a company, Sony has [[Troll|trolled]] Chris inadvertently several times. Perhaps the lulziest event in Chris Chan's life was the infamous [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown]] scandal. During the contest, [[Megan|rape was alleged]], [[Cole Smithey|family issues were brought to light]], and Chris... [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown#Master Onion A-La Mode|just watch]].

{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED CRYSTAL. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!"| [[Chris]] on how Sony cockblocked him}}

This sequence marks the downfall of Chris into even further madness. Before, he was a creepy dude who lived with his parents; after we saw that he was a [[Homos|homophobic]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Autism|retarded]] irrational manchild.

'''Thanks, Sony. Thanks a lot.'''

In the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]], Chris appealed to Sony (as well as to Nintendo and [[Microsoft]]) to stop the trolls.

In [[Mailbag 10]], Chris proudly saved stuff on his [[wikipedia:Memory Stick|Memory Stick Duo™®©]]. Meanwhile, the rest of the world unabashedly continued to use SD cards, or preferred to not tell everybody what card type they used. (Some of us are a bit ashamed to still use CompactFlash. ''But at least it's not Memory Stick.'')

In [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]], we finally find out via a close-up of the bezel of Chris's 32" LCD television which was purchased in September 2009 that even his television is a Sony. Because of the high price of Sony television sets (at least near $1,000 for even a lower-tier model), this means he either purchased it via a payment plan at some high-markup electronics retailer or somehow was approved for the heavily-pushed Sony Card and slapped it on there to widen his [[Chris and money|debt woes]]. However we can put to rest that he probably only plays games in HD, and everything he watches on cable is in standard definition, since that would mean he would have to spend more money with Comcast to get HD programming.

==The company and [[Sonichu]]==

While Chris plugs many [[Axe|products]] (and never receives payment for doing so), none are more prominently displayed than the [[PS3]]. This four hundred dollar [[LittleBigPlanet|soul stealer]] has been subject to many, many [[Chris humps his PS3|creepy forms]] of idolization. One would wonder why Chris thinks Sony would '''ever''' want to appear in anything made by a man who [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|soils himself]].

[[Image:TROPHY.JPG|thumb|400px|center|Enjoy the hi-res MSPaint graphics.]]

==See also==
*[[PS3]]
*''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
*[[Guitar Rock Hero Band Revolution Notes]]
*[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Sony]]

CWCville Shopping Center

2010-02-08T06:05:29Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Mall Stores */ links for non-wiki entries

[[Image:ChrisCWCMall.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Chris raping the fourth wall in front of the mall (seen here to be called "CWCville Mall" despite other indications of it being called the "CWCville Shopping Center"]]
[[Image:CWCMallSpaz.jpg|thumb|The Mall, as accurately depicted by [[Spazkid28]] in ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''.]]
'''CWCville Shopping Center''' (alternatively known as '''CWCville Mall'''), located at the center of downtown [[CWCville]], he is the location of Chris's [[CWCville Mayoral Office|Mayoral Office]] and a temple to the rampant consumerism in CWCville. Also, Chris's version of his beloved [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], where he is not banned but rather is welcomed and works there.

Chris designed the mall as a [[CADD]] project in PVCC, and since [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|no good school project goes unrecycled and unpublished]], is now using the design in the comics. The plans were in [[Scrapbook of Fail]], and Chris's original AutoCAD files were leaked.

Chris has said that the City of CWCville owns the mall,<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref> which in real life doesn't usually happen until a mall is closed off and condemned. Most existing malls, even ones that are close to dead, are owned by real estate investment trusts.

Locating a mall in a downtown isn't entirely unfeasible, either. Although many attempts to bring malls downtown usually result in [[fail]]ure, there are occasional bouts of success with this approach. Charleston Town Center in downtown Charleston, West Virginia is but one example.

There is, however, no excuse for putting the fucking ''mayor's office'' in the mall.

==Stores==
[[Image:CWCvilleMall.jpg|thumb|As you can see, The CWCville Mall can be quite crowded on weekends.]]
The tenant roster is ''almost'' spot-on for a modern 21st-century mall, and no doubt copied generously from Charlottesville Fashion Square. The most egregious departures from the norm are:

*The inclusion of a Big Lots. The chain is a noted [[recycling|recycler]] of abandoned retail buildings; as a result, any mall with a Big Lots is bound to be a dated, dumpy, dead one.
*And right next to it, a Dollar Tree store. See the reasoning above.
*The fact that he has included Burger King, McDonald's, Dairy Queen ''and'' Wendy's. Usually only one food court retailer gets the rights to offer a certain food (i.e. Panda Express can offer Chinese, Subway offers subs, Chick-fil-A chicken items, Sbarro has pizza, etc.), thus the variety of choices in restaurants in most food courts.
*Circuit City Express. This concept died off well before the Circuit City chain went under in 2009.
*Inclusion of some one-offs that wouldn't exist in real life, such as Pokémon Center, Cutco Outlet, etc. These could be justified in that the mall exists in a fantasy world where such stores would exist.
*Warner Bros. Store, another concept store which died off several years ago, and in any halfway well-planned mall would not be right next to the Disney Store for very obvious reasons.
*The inclusion of Sam Goody and Suncoast. These stores was bought out by TransWorld Entertainment (owners of the f.y.e. chain), and most remaining stores have either been converted to f.y.e. or closed because dedicated music stores are fading.
*[[LEGO]] Outlet stores are usually located in...outlet malls. As with all outlet mall stores.
*YesAsia.com has a large store dedicated to it. The entire point of internet stores is to avoid the hassles and costs associated with a brick-and-mortar store.
*CVS/pharmacy (as with most national pharmacy chains) has not located many stores in malls since at least the 1990's because most people want to get in, get out, and pick up their prescriptions via the drive-thru.
*A complete lack of kiosk shops anywhere in the mall hallway, which would likely leave a sense of emptiness throughout the entire structure without the occasional jewelry stand, cell phone kiosk or especially those stands with crafts and sports memorabilia offered during the holiday season.
*Multiple ATM machines by different banks. Most malls only have one dedicated ATM provider, like the reasoning of multiple fast food restaurants, only one bank would get the rights to provide money.
*Western Sizzlin and Red Robin existing in the same building. Again, like the fast food and ATM situation, both restaurants would not exist in the same place. Most of the time, the restaurant existing in the mall would likely be a [[Wikipedia:Ruby Tuesday's|Ruby Tuesday's]], as both Western Sizzlin and Red Robin have dedicated buildings to handle their needs.

Some of the outdated stores could be just delusions of grandeur, in that they represent stores that Chris wishes were still around, or is just too clueless to realize are no longer in existence.

Featured briefly in Episode 3 of [[Sonichu 0]].

==Mall Stores==
* [[Wikipedia:Abercrombie & Fitch|Abercrombie & Fitch]]
* Arcade World (Video Games) [Yes, he's written 'Video Games' beside it, as if arcades didn't have them usually.]
* [[Wikipedia:American Eagle Outfitters|American Eagle Outfitters]]
* [http://www.annajoys.com/ Anna Joy's] (local bridal shop)
* April's Sports (local sporting goods)
* [[Wikipedia:Aéropostale (clothing)|Aeropastale [sic]]]
* [[Wikipedia:Bath & Body Works|Bath & Body Works]]
* [[Wikipedia:Big Lots|Big Lots]]
* [http://www.brmsstore.com/ Blue Ridge Sports]
* [[Chris's resume|Books-a-Million]]
* [[Wikipedia:Burger King|Burger King]]
* [http://www.cache.com/cache/control/main Cache] [sic]
* [[Wikipedia:Carlton Cards|Carlton Cards]] [One on each floor for some reason.]
* [[Wikipedia:Cellular One|Cellular One]]
* [[Crass and Champ|Champ's [sic]]] Sports
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Wikipedia:Christopher & Banks|Christopher & Banks]]
* [[Chris and ego|Christopher's Pizza]]
* [http://www.cinnamonster.com Cinnamonster]
* [[Wikipedia:Circuit City|Circuit City]] Express
* [[Wikipedia:Claire's|Claire's Boutique]]
* [[Wikipedia:Coffee Beanery|Coffee Beanery]]
* [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic, Game & Hobby Place]]
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[Li'l Chris|Create-A-Critter]]
* [[Cutco]] Outlet
* [[Wikipedia:CVS/pharmacy|CVS]]
* [[Wikipedia:Dairy Queen|Dairy Queen]]
* [[Wikipedia:Disney Store|Disney Store]]
* [[Wikipedia:Dollar Tree|Dollar Tree]]
* [[Wikipedia:Finish Line, Inc.|Finish Line]]
* [[Wikipedia:Foot Locker|Footaction USA]]
* [[Wikipedia:Trans_World_Entertainment#f.y.e.|F.Y.E.]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Wikipedia:Gap (clothing retailer)|Gap]]
* GCN [? - second floor, he may have meant [[Wikipedia:General Nutrition Centers|GNC]]]
* [[http://www.glamourshots.com Glamour Shots]
* [[Wikipedia:NexCen Brands|Great American Cookie]]
* [[Wikipedia:Hat World|Hat World]]
* [[Wikipedia:Hallmark|Hallmark]]
* [[Megan|Hot Topic]]
* [[Wikipedia:J. C. Penney|JCPenny [sic]]]
* [[Wikipedia:Genesco|Journeys]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sterling_Jewelers#Kay_Jewelers|Kay Jewlers]] [sic]
* [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|KB Toys]]
* [http://www.kohrbros.com/ Kohr Bros. Frozen Yougurt] [sic]
* [[Wikipedia:Foot Locker|Lady Foot Locker]]
* [[Lego]] Outlet
* [[Wikipedia:LensCrafters|LensCrafters]] [Listed twice beside each other.]
* [[Wikipedia:Limited Brands|Limited]]
* [[Wikipedia:Limited Brands|Limited Too]]
* [http://www.mastercuts.com/ MasterCuts]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Wikipedia:Destination Maternity|Motherhood Maternity]]
* [[Wikipedia:Mrs. Fields|Mrs. Field's [sic] Cookies]]
* [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|Pacific Sunwear]]
* Paint & Play (exists, but no website for Virginia chain)
* [[Wikipedia:Payless ShoeSource|Payless Shoe Source]]
* [[Wikipedia:Pearle Vision|Pearl [sic] Vision Express]]
* [[Wikipedia:Radio Shack|Radio Shack]]
* [[Wikipedia:Red Robin|Red Robin]]
* [[Wikipedia:Ritz Camera|Ritz Camera]]
* [http://www.rockstarbodyjewelry.com/ Rock Star Body Jewelry]
* [[Wikipedia:Sam Goody|Sam Goody]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sbarro|Sbarro]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sears|Sears]]
* [[Wikipedia:Spencer Gifts|Spencer Gifts]]
* [[Hannah|Starbucks]]
* [[Wikipedia:Stride Rite Corporation|Stride Rite]]
* [[Wikipedia:Suncoast Motion Picture Company|Suncoast]]
* [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|Taco Bell]]
* T&C Nails (no website, likely [[Punchy Sonichu|Chris's view]] [[Chris and race#Asians|of an average nail salon]])
* [http://www.shopbriarpatch.com/ The Briar Patch]
* [http://www.thehappycook.com/ The Happy Cook]
* The [[Pokémon]] Center
* [[The GAMe PLACe|The Toy Place]]
* [http://www.thingsremembered.com/ Things Remembered]
* Tokyo Shogun (Virginia-based Japanese mall cuisine; no website)
* [http://www.tradesecret.com/ Trade Secret]
* [[Wikipedia:Verizon|Verizon]]
* [http://www.victoriasgallery.com/ Victoria's Art Gallery]
* [[Wikipedia:Victoria's Secret|victoria's [sic] Secret]]
* [[Wikipedia:Waldenbooks|Waldenbooks]]
* [[Wikipedia:Warner Bros. Studio Store|Warner Bros. Store]]
* [[Wendy's]]
* [http://www.western-sizzlin.com/sitemap.html Western Sizzlin']
* [[Wikipedia:YesAsia|YesAsia.com]] Outlet Store
* [[Wikipedia:Zale Corporation|Zales Jewelry]]
* [[Wikipedia:Zany Brainy|Zany-Brainy]]

==Non-Store Facilities==
* [[Wikipedia:Bank of America|Bank of America]] ATM
* [[Wikipedia:BB&T|BB&T]] ATM
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]
* [[Jerkop|Mall Security]]/Customer Service
* [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Restrooms]] [Multiple]
* [[Wikipedia:Wachovia|Wachovia]] ATM

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] - The IRL version of the CWCville mall.

==External links==
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloorOne.pdf Plans, Floor 1]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloor2.pdf Plans, Floor 2]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/MayorsOfficeModel1.pdf Plans, Mayor's Office]
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?we0oddnzwnk Original Project Files]

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Places]]

CWCville Shopping Center

2010-02-04T07:21:56Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Stores */ several new observations

[[Image:ChrisCWCMall.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Chris raping the fourth wall in front of the mall (seen here to be called "CWCville Mall" despite other indications of it being called the "CWCville Shopping Center"]]
[[Image:CWCMallSpaz.jpg|thumb|The Mall, as accurately depicted by [[Spazkid28]] in ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''.]]
'''CWCville Shopping Center''' (alternatively known as '''CWCville Mall'''), located at the center of downtown [[CWCville]], he is the location of Chris's [[CWCville Mayoral Office|Mayoral Office]] and a temple to the rampant consumerism in CWCville. Also, Chris's version of his beloved [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], where he is not banned but rather is welcomed and works there.

Chris designed the mall as a [[CADD]] project in PVCC, and since [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|no good school project goes unrecycled and unpublished]], is now using the design in the comics. The plans were in [[Scrapbook of Fail]], and Chris's original AutoCAD files were leaked.

Chris has said that the City of CWCville owns the mall,<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref> which in real life doesn't usually happen until a mall is closed off and condemned. Most existing malls, even ones that are close to dead, are owned by real estate investment trusts.

Locating a mall in a downtown isn't entirely unfeasible, either. Although many attempts to bring malls downtown usually result in [[fail]]ure, there are occasional bouts of success with this approach. Charleston Town Center in downtown Charleston, West Virginia is but one example.

There is, however, no excuse for putting the fucking ''mayor's office'' in the mall.

==Stores==
[[Image:CWCvilleMall.jpg|thumb|As you can see, The CWCville Mall can be quite crowded on weekends.]]
The tenant roster is ''almost'' spot-on for a modern 21st-century mall, and no doubt copied generously from Charlottesville Fashion Square. The most egregious departures from the norm are:

*The inclusion of a Big Lots. The chain is a noted [[recycling|recycler]] of abandoned retail buildings; as a result, any mall with a Big Lots is bound to be a dated, dumpy, dead one.
*And right next to it, a Dollar Tree store. See the reasoning above.
*The fact that he has included Burger King, McDonald's, Dairy Queen ''and'' Wendy's. Usually only one food court retailer gets the rights to offer a certain food (i.e. Panda Express can offer Chinese, Subway offers subs, Chick-fil-A chicken items, Sbarro has pizza, etc.), thus the variety of choices in restaurants in most food courts.
*Circuit City Express. This concept died off well before the Circuit City chain went under in 2009.
*Inclusion of some one-offs that wouldn't exist in real life, such as Pokémon Center, Cutco Outlet, etc. These could be justified in that the mall exists in a fantasy world where such stores would exist.
*Warner Bros. Store, another concept store which died off several years ago, and in any halfway well-planned mall would not be right next to the Disney Store for very obvious reasons.
*The inclusion of Sam Goody. This store was bought out by TransWorld Entertainment (owners of the f.y.e. chain), and most remaining Sam Goody stores have either been converted to f.y.e. or closed because dedicated music stores are fading.
*[[LEGO]] Outlet stores are usually located in...outlet malls. As with all outlet mall stores.
*YesAsia.com has a large store dedicated to it. The entire point of internet stores is to avoid the hassles and costs associated with a brick-and-mortar store.
*CVS/pharmacy (as with most national pharmacy chains) has not located many stores in malls since at least the 1990's because most people want to get in, get out, and pick up their prescriptions via the drive-thru.
*A complete lack of kiosk shops anywhere in the mall hallway, which would likely leave a sense of emptiness throughout the entire structure without the occasional jewelry stand, cell phone kiosk or especially those stands with crafts and sports memorabilia offered during the holiday season.

Some of the outdated stores could be just delusions of grandeur, in that they represent stores that Chris wishes were still around, or is just too clueless to realize are no longer in existence.

Featured briefly in Episode 3 of [[Sonichu 0]].

==Mall Stores==
* [[Wikipedia:Abercrombie & Fitch|Abercrombie & Fitch]]
* Arcade World (Video Games) [Yes, he's written 'Video Games' beside it, as if arcades didn't have them usually.]
* [[Wikipedia:American Eagle Outfitters|American Eagle Outfitters]]
* Anna Joy's
* April's Sports
* [[Wikipedia:Aéropostale (clothing)|Aeropastale [sic]]]
* [[Wikipedia:Bath & Body Works|Bath & Body Works]]
* [[Wikipedia:Big Lots|Big Lots]]
* Blue Ridge Sports
* [[Chris's resume|Books-a-Million]]
* [[Wikipedia:Burger King|Burger King]]
* Cache [sic]
* [[Wikipedia:Carlton Cards|Carlton Cards]] [One on each floor for some reason.]
* [[Wikipedia:Cellular One|Cellular One]]
* [[Crass and Champ|Champ's [sic]]] Sports
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Wikipedia:Christopher & Banks|Christopher & Banks]]
* Christopher's Pizza
* [http://www.cinnamonster.com Cinnamonster]
* [[Wikipedia:Circuit City|Circuit City]] Express
* [[Wikipedia:Claire's|Claire's Boutique]]
* [[Wikipedia:Coffee Beanery|Coffee Beanery]]
* [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic, Game & Hobby Place]]
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[Li'l Chris|Create-A-Critter]]
* [[Cutco]] Outlet
* [[Wikipedia:CVS/pharmacy|CVS]]
* [[Wikipedia:Dairy Queen|Dairy Queen]]
* [[Wikipedia:Disney Store|Disney Store]]
* [[Wikipedia:Dollar Tree|Dollar Tree]]
* [[Wikipedia:Finish Line, Inc.|Finish Line]]
* [[Wikipedia:Foot Locker|Footaction USA]]
* [[Wikipedia:Trans_World_Entertainment#f.y.e.|F.Y.E.]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Wikipedia:Gap (clothing retailer)|Gap]]
* GCN [? - second floor, he may have meant [[Wikipedia:General Nutrition Centers|GNC]]]
* [[Wikipedia:Glamour Shots|Glamour Shots]]
* [[Wikipedia:NexCen Brands|Great American Cookie]]
* [[Wikipedia:Hat World|Hat World]]
* [[Wikipedia:Hallmark|Hallmark]]
* [[Megan|Hot Topic]]
* [[Wikipedia:J. C. Penney|JCPenny [sic]]]
* [[Wikipedia:Genesco|Journeys]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sterling_Jewelers#Kay_Jewelers|Kay Jewlers]] [sic]
* [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|KB Toys]]
* Kohr Bros. Frozen Yougurt [sic]
* [[Wikipedia:Foot Locker|Lady Foot Locker]]
* [[Lego]] Outlet
* [[Wikipedia:LensCrafters|LensCrafters]] [Listed twice beside each other.]
* [[Wikipedia:Limited Brands|Limited]]
* [[Wikipedia:Limited Brands|Limited Too]]
* [http://www.mastercuts.com/ MasterCuts]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Wikipedia:Destination Maternity|Motherhood Maternity]]
* [[Wikipedia:Mrs. Fields|Mrs. Field's [sic] Cookies]]
* [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|Pacific Sunwear]]
* Paint & Play
* [[Wikipedia:Payless ShoeSource|Payless Shoe Source]]
* [[Wikipedia:Pearle Vision|Pearl [sic] Vision Express]]
* [[Wikipedia:Radio Shack|Radio Shack]]
* [[Wikipedia:Red Robin|Red Robin]]
* [[Wikipedia:Ritz Camera|Ritz Camera]]
* Rock Star Body Jewelry
* [[Wikipedia:Sam Goody|Sam Goody]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sbarro|Sbarro]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sears|Sears]]
* [[Wikipedia:Spencer Gifts|Spencer Gifts]]
* [[Hannah|Starbucks]]
* [[Wikipedia:Stride Rite Corporation|Stride Rite]]
* [[Wikipedia:Suncoast Motion Picture Company|Suncoast]]
* [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|Taco Bell]]
* T&C Nails
* The Briar Patch
* The Happy Cook
* The [[Pokémon]] Center
* The Toy Place
* [http://www.thingsremembered.com/ Things Remembered]
* Tokyo Shogun
* [http://www.tradesecret.com/ Trade Secret]
* [[Wikipedia:Verizon|Verizon]]
* Victoria's Art Gallery
* [[Wikipedia:Victoria's Secret|victoria's [sic] Secret]]
* [[Wikipedia:Waldenbooks|Waldenbooks]]
* [[Wikipedia:Warner Bros. Studio Store|Warner Bros. Store]]
* [[Wendy's]]
* Western Sizzlin'
* [[Wikipedia:YesAsia|YesAsia.com]] Outlet Store
* [[Wikipedia:Zale Corporation|Zales Jewelry]]
* [[Wikipedia:Zany Brainy|Zany-Brainy]]

==Non-Store Facilities==
* [[Wikipedia:Bank of America|Bank of America]] ATM
* [[Wikipedia:BB&T|BB&T]] ATM
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]
* [[Jerkop|Mall Security]]/Customer Service
* [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Restrooms]] [Multiple]
* [[Wikipedia:Wachovia|Wachovia]] ATM

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] - The IRL version of the CWCville mall.

==External links==
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloorOne.pdf Plans, Floor 1]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloor2.pdf Plans, Floor 2]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/MayorsOfficeModel1.pdf Plans, Mayor's Office]
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?we0oddnzwnk Original Project Files]

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Places]]

THAT IS MY HOUSE

2010-02-02T06:23:11Z

Allen Longbolt: /* The Green County Health Department Responds */

{{rainbow|NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW}}
[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] aka '''ECV 00193''' is a video uploaded 27 [[August 2009]] in which [[Chris]] demands footage of his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] be removed from the Internet, by throwing a childish tantrum. Chris took down the video, not too long afterwards, only for it be re-uploaded by [[troll]] [[TheCWCvilleLibrary|archivists]]. On 29 August 2009, an uncut version of the video featuring [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] was acquired by [[Vivian Gee]] and leaked onto [[YouTube]].

==Description==

{{quotebox|I was Already In Deep Enough, but THIS IS TOO DEEP! GET ALL MY HOUSE IMAGES OFF THE INTERNET!

I am counting on ALL FULL Positive Cooperation in this major matter.

Christian Weston Chandler, August 17 [sic], 2009 }}

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| image = {{#ev:youtube|70LvKzxeHOE}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 27 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage
| previous = [[Show_RESPECT_to_me,_"C"CWC| Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]
| next = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut| ECV 00192]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

''[Chris races into frame, VERY angry and upset]''

This does not even deserve a [[Captain's Log]] introduction, ''[dramatic glasses removal]'' BECAUSE this is DEAD SERIOUS. The [[Tour of Chris's house|inside and outside tour]] I did A FEW MONTHS ago of my house, everyone on the Internet, ''[Chris suddenly begins to scream in a fit of childish rage]''...

{{RageQuote|'''MY [[Barbara Chandler|MOTHER]] AND MY [[Bob Chandler|FATHER]]''' ARE '''ANGRY''' AT ME!}} '''THEY'RE BLAMING''' IT AT ME! '''IT'S MY FAULT, I ADMIT IT!''' IT'S MY FAULT; I WANT EVERYTHING A'''''BOUT MY HOUSE'''''....

'''''OFF!<br>THE!<br>INTERNET!'''''

I'll send in detectives! I'll send in police! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY '''POWER!'''

''[There is a noticeable jumpcut, as a result of a removed scene in which [[Bob Chandler]] enters and talks with Chris. Chris's glasses are back on his face and the door is left open from when Bob walked in. See the Uncut version below]''

So yeah, please, get everything off the internet...

{{RageQuote|NowNOWNOW''NOWNOW
'''NOWWWWWW!'''''}}
''[Chris stomps the ground as he yells, the camera noticably shakes]''

''[He quickly calms down then holds up peace sign]''

[[Curse ye ha me ha|Curse]] the [[trolls]], peace to everyone else.

==Uncut==

{{quote|Shut that goddamn thing off!|Bob Chandler, addressing his old foe: that ''goddamn Internet''}}

An uncut version aka '''ECV 00192''' was posted by [[Vivian Gee]] on 29 August 2009, where [[Bob Chandler]] walks in and scolds Chris. This is the second, and hopefully not the last time we see, or hear, Bob showing any kind of parental authority over Chris.

We also learn the real reason why Chris' parents are concerned about the tour videos. The fear that the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] will discover the squalor of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler Household]] and condemn it.

Also noteworthy is the fact that this marks the first Chris video explicitly featuring another living, breathing person (as opposed to [[Kimmi|an inflatable person, made of plastic]]).

===Video===

{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00192
| image = {{#ev:youtube|UJbjb47nEfY}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage
| previous = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE| THAT IS MY HOUSE]]
| next = [[Bless_the_Fans,_Curse_the_Trolls| Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]
}} </center>

====Transcript====

''[At 0:28, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] opens the door and walks in]''

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': ..THAT-- GET IT '''OFF''' THE INNERNET...</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Listen-to-me!</span> ''[muffled by CWC's "OFF THE INTERNET!"]''<span style="color:FireBrick"> Listen to me.</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': Yes...</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Listen to '''ME'''.</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': Yes.</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Shut that goddamn thing off! I don't care what you do.</span> ''[pointing at PS3/PSEye]''<span style="color:FireBrick"> You get all that stuff off of there. Tonight.</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': I'm working on it.</span> ''[slaps hands to his side]''

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Go work on it!</span> ''[points to the door, instructing Chris to go to the computer downstairs]''

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': I am working--</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Do you ''realize''? Do. ''you''. '''realize''' something? Let me tell you: If the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] sees those videos, that you put on the damn internet, they could condemn our house, and we would have to move out of it.

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span>'' [sighs]''<span style="color:RoyalBlue"> I see.</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': You go get that goddamn stuff off of there and fast.</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': I'm woorking on it! I was making a YouTube vi--uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "Get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Nooo...</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': Its--It's, ahh, ''out of my control''</span> ''[flails arms]''

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Oh, you get 'em off.</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! ''I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!''</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Yooou loaded them up there, you unload 'em!</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': I'm working on it!</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Go do ''it!''</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': ''I AM WORK'-- I AM DOIN' IT... I'M STARTIN'...</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': GGet in ''here'' and do ''it''!</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': I--</span>''[sputters]''

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> ''[walks out of the room]''<span style="color:FireBrick"> I'll be up all night with you if ''I have to''. You won't get any sleep until that stuff's off.</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': I'll working on it!</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> ''[from outside]''<span style="color:FireBrick"> Git in there and staart!</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': ''III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[Trolls|E'RRYBODY]], [[True_and_Loyal_Fanbase|IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'-- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!'--'</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> ''[interrupting]''<span style="color:FireBrick"> Listennn,</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': --about our house!</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': I don't wanna get kicked outta ''my'' house. By the Health Department. And what you just did was stick a knife in our back, and kill us!</span> ''[Bob exits the room again]''

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': Aw'right... lemme just...</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': Get that ''stuff'' OFFA THERE...</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': '''I'M ''WOORK'''''--</span>

<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''': ...and get it offa there fast!</span>

<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': I'm WORKIN' on it! I'm ''WORKIN' '' on it!''</span></span> [Chris appears to resume recording footage for his video]''

''[Cut footage ends at 2:11, continuing into NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWWWWW]''

==The Green County Health Department Responds==

In addition to creating many, many mirrors of the videos Bob wanted cut down, some more intrepid viewers actually did contact the Greene County Health Department. The Health Department did respond (3 weeks later) to one such letter, although they seemed indifferent and stated the Chandler's decision to live in a garbage house full of dirty dishes and animal feces was part of their inalienable rights as guaranteed by the US Constitution:

{{quotebox|Dear Bob S:

Thank you for your interest in this situation. The challenge is to
clarify if the conditions at this residence are a risk to the public's
health or if they are personal risks accepted by the individuals that
choose to live there.

Public Health relates to the general health of a community. When
diseases can be transmitted from person to person or when the health
risk affects the community, regulations have normally been enacted to
address these public health threats. Even so, the individual's right to
choose is protected by the Constitution. We know smoking greatly
increases the risk of cancer and heart disease, yet individuals continue
to choose to smoke. Regulations are in place to minimize public exposure
to contaminated or mishandled foods, yet some individuals still choose
to eat raw hamburger. In the case you've brought to our attention, the
"deplorable conditions" you refer to appear to be confined to the
individual residence and are the choice of those that live there. They
do not appear to effect the health of the community. There are no
specific health regulations that address individual choices in private
living conditions.

We have contacted the building official to see if any building, zoning
of fire prevention laws apply and were informed that they did not. We
also contacted the Greene County Attorney to see if he knew of any
County ordinances that would be applicable. He did not know of any. We
also contacted adult protective services to make sure they are aware of
the situation.

Please contact me if I can be of further assistance.

Jeffrey T. McDaniel<br/>
Environmental Health Manager<br/>
[http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/thomasjefferson/ Thomas Jefferson Health District]}}

==Current state of the Chandler household==

In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he lied to his Father, telling him that he had gotten the house vids off of the internet. While there is little chance of the Chandler pig sty actually being condemned we can expect a shitstorm very soon. The next time Chris misses a few days in a row of his comic, it may be because Bob learned the house vids were still up and cut down the internet.

==Remixes==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = NOW MIX
| video = {{#ev:youtube|euiWcvwoON8}}
| Stardate = 27 August 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian]]
| Subject =
| Video Type = Remix
| Other Info = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JuVHCJVYf4 The original song]
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "That's My House!" - Ca. 1912 Silent Film Starring Christian and Robert Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ENSKi4_mO3A}}
| Stardate = 27 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tregnier279 tregnier279]
| Subject =
| Video Type = Remix
| Other Info = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENSKi4_mO3A The original video]
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok (Presented to You by Christian Weston Chandler)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7V1gEjtmm9M}}
| Stardate = 09 January 2010
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject =
| Video Type = Remix
}}

==See also==

*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
*[[Tour of Chris's House]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]|nextlink=[[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris and music

2010-01-29T11:14:58Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Recording tech */ corrections

When it comes to '''music''', [[Chris]]'s tastes range from generic pop to generic rock. However, he [[SHE IS MINE NOW|has been seen]] listening to shit he's heard from ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. While some undoubtedly great songs have made their way into the franchise, it is debatable whether Chris actually listens to them for enjoyment, instead of simply posturing.

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|right| This is obviously what music is all about]]

==Musical tastes==
Chris has often cited that he likes "All popular music." While it's possible that he's just giving that answer to appear cool and easygoing, he really does seem to try to listen to whatever popular opinion tells him is good. Almost every song on either of his two horrible albums was a top 40 hit at one point or another. Additionally, in a few of his [[Mumble]] chats, Chris left his radio on for the whole conversation. This means that he both enjoys the background music, and that he's totally inconsiderate to the other people in the chat.

In other videos it has been heard in the background that he usually listens to [[Wikipedia:WQMZ|Z 95.1]] from Charlottesville, a station which basically plays current day and older pop music which is incredibly bland and inoffensive (aka what you hear in a doctor's office or a store too cheap to afford Muzak), which would pretty well meet Chris's musical perspective.

The only artist Chris seems to really idolize is [[Britney Spears]]. There is virtually no doubt that this is more because she's hot than because he appreciates her musical talent.

If his Rhapsody account (seen below) is any indication, almost everything Chris listens to has been in a ''Guitar Hero'' game. This adds yet more [[Fat|weight]] to the theory that Chris is spoon-fed pop culture from [[PS3| video games]] and ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Also, keeping with the theme of liking things that most people his age are [[Ghostbusters|either]] [[American Rabbit|unaware]] of or [[Red Skelton|would]] [[I Love Lucy|not]] [[Thurston Howell III|enjoy]], Chris has twice referenced Billy Joel's 1985 track "[[Wikipedia:You're Only Human (Second Wind)|You're Only Human (Second Wind)]]," an extremely dated, upbeat mid-80's pop song written specifically to stop teenagers from killing themselves. To date, Chris has referenced the song in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|YouTube video]] where he says [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting your pants]] from [[stress]] isn't a big deal, and again when [[Mailbag 6|asked]] by a fan whether he'd ever had thoughts of suicide. Chris replied, with no elaboration, that he had "[[List of Chris's Lies|a lot to live for]]" and told the fan to go listen to the song.

==YouTube background music==
Towards the fall of 2009, Chris began to include popular songs as background music in a number of his Youtube videos. Some videos, such as [[SHE IS MINE NOW]], featured [[Wikipedia:Aerosmith|Aerosmith]] in the background, possibly in a sad attempt to appear intimidating and hardcore. For [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] showing off his [[I AM STRONG|athletic prowess]], Chris favored "[[Wikipedia:Eye of the Tiger|Eye of the Tiger]]" by Survivor. In light of Chris's virulent hatred of [[homos]], this is a somewhat ironic choice, given the extraordinarily homoerotic overtones of both the training sequences in ''Rocky III'' and Survivor's own music video for the song. For [[For Kacey from CWC|videos]] intended to express his heartfelt love for [[Kacey]], Chris employed REO Speedwagon's power ballad "Can't Fight This Feeling."

==Singing==
[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|left|"You've seen life through distorted eyes,
You know you had to learn,
The execution of your mind,
You really had to turn"]]

It is impossible to overstate how terrible of a singer Chris is. It's also impossible to overstate how deluded Chris is about his ability to sing. He's so deluded, in fact, when trying to confront [[Liquid]] via artistic competition, he created the [[SingStar Challenge]], and lost spectacularly.

{{Quote|...and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor.|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls#Introduction|being sadly mistaken]].}}

Chris's voice is unusually high-pitched, and often louder than appropriate. He also tends to speak in an odd, emotionless monotone. These issues with his voice become even more obvious when he tries to sing. In both his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums, he doesn't actually "sing" so much as desperately yell over the track in an attempt to drown out the actual words of the song. This is painfully obvious when he attempts to sing [[Sonichu's Zip]], a song that uses "Sonic Drive," the ''Japanese'' theme song of the anime ''[[Sonic]] X'', where the entire song devolves into screaming gibberish. When he does try to actually vary his voice away from the standard monotone, it becomes very obvious that Chris is completely tone-deaf. His [[Speech Impediment|voice goes up and down]] with little regard to the background music, or even the original artist he's shouting over.

Chris also has a lot of trouble with timing. While the songs he's written usually do a pretty good job matching the originals, Chris often falls behind or rushes ahead of the music he's chosen. This could probably be avoided if he took the time to practice, but practice would be work, and work is something Chris just doesn't do.

===A capella===
In the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris will occasionally break out into ''a capella'' renditions of what we can only assume is supposed to be Sonichu's theme music. These bizarre freestyle musical interludes drive home exactly how childish Chris is. There's something uniquely terrifying about a 27 year old man (who looks 45) showing us his Sonic/Pokémon crossover and shouting "dun dun dun." Chris also occasionally does this in his normal videos. Most recently he performed a poor rendition of "The Final Countdown" while showing us that he can still [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|pick up a chair]].

Despite his frequent use of this vocal technique, Chris clearly doesn't understand the full meaning of the word. During the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], a frequently source of [[rage]] from Chris was the "music" in the background of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s video. However, since the music was simple beatboxing, it would be considered ''a capella'' by most.

===Rap===
With the success of artists like [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem]] and [[Wikipedia:Jedi Mind Tricks|Jedi Mind Tricks]], plus the odd continued existence of [[Wikipedia:Nerdcore|nerdcore]], white guys rapping on [[Youtube]] is not unheard of. [[CChanSonichuCWC|Some of these individuals]] demonstrate impressive [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|talent]] in their ability to flow on a beat. Christian is not among them.

Of course, his most notable foray into rap is his entry for the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa Contest]]. While his motivations and the drama they caused are covered extensively in their own article, the video itself is characterized by a complete lack of rhythm or flow. The result sounds sort of like a Muppet slurring his words together and randomly shouting.

Before he starts the song in earnest, Chris does a little bit of freestyling in the beginning. Needless to say, it's not promising:

{{Quote|I have a PSP and she don't/So give me the PSP, unwrap the wrapper/So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!|Chris, [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Master Onion A-La Mode|almost rhyming]].}}

This was nothing compared to his [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW#Video|most recent foray]] into the genre. Playing Aerosmith in the background instead of a breakbeat, Chris basically just shouts a lot of random short sentences with no regard as to how they flow, or if they even rhyme at all.

{{Quote|You just a dang dummy!/And you still chicken you's a dang coward!/You wanna come fight me/Come fight me in person/Come out from behind the camera you fool|Chris, "rapping"}}

In [[December 2009]], Chris would [[Hello, Juffalo|rap once again]] to Insane Clown Posse side project [[Wikipedia:Dark Lotus|Dark Lotus]]. As usual he made no attempt to learn the lyrics and appears to be reading them off a piece of paper with inappropriate affect. During a portion of the video he mumbles to himself, rocking back and forth and fondling his ample breasts not once, but twice. He also refers to himself as a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Juffalo ''Juffalo''], a term apparently used by Insane Clown Posse aficionados to describe the noncommittal poseurs who aren't good enough to fully appreciate the world of clown-related rap.

Two days prior to this he made another [[IPods Down and Listen Up|awful freestyle rap]]. The point of this is unclear, although he apparently visited a doctor, who suggested that he take over-the-counter vitamins. He likens the effects of these vitamins to Viagra, and then compares himself to a tiger who will forcibly rape a panther to produce tiger-panther cubs. Yeah...

==Instruments==

[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|thumb|right| Click click click. It's like I'm playing real guitar!]]

{{quote|I would play my ax [sic] on the Wii; getting the high scores, scored better, real play for my benefit. | [[Blanca]], acting as a proxy for Chris to espouse his flawed beliefs on music}}

Chris seems to have a very tenuous grasp on what constitutes a musical instrument. Notably, in [[Brutal Legend Plus|several]] [[Holding Out For a Hero|of]] [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|his]] [[LOOK at the truth!|videos]], Chris tends to treat his [[Gitar of Fail]] like it's a real instrument. This seems outright foolish, even for Chris, until you consider his mindset. All of Chris's [[Sonichu|"creations"]] are copies of other things, yet are still [[Chris and Copyright|somehow completely original.]] So by "playing" someone else's song on ''Guitar Hero'', his [[autistic]] mindset dictates that he is actually playing the song. Go ahead and try to wrap your head around this doublethink.

As further proof of his madness, Chris equated [[Liquid]]'s actual musical skill to him playing ''Guitar Hero'', to such a degree that he felt it necessary to outlaw both in the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{tinyquote|-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Rock Revolution, etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO.| Chris, inspiring the hatred of <s>audiophiles</s> people who like music everywhere}}

==Recording tech==
Chris's idea of accompaniment is putting the original song playing on the background using his [[PS3]] and the near-$1,000 Sony LCD HDTV, and the most expensive speakers his boat could tug in, while he sings with his unique voice. The singing, of course, is dutifully recorded with the long-suffering [[PSEye]] camera. The implications are staggering:

* There's always a huge quality loss when music is played on speaker and then re-recorded from a distance, because the acoustics of the room distort the sound and the air itself blocks low and high frequencies, leaving you with only a distorted fraction of the original sound. Chris, of course, believes that everything he does is perfect on the first try and never has to be redone, just like his art.

* The original lyrics are still on the song. At least on one occasion, Chris even screwed up harder than this, and got a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" from ''Family Guy'', clobbered by dialogue and other sounds.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]</ref> While lyrics often can't always be removed from a mixed song entirely, it's at least worth a shot trying lyrics removal software. Or, it might pay to look for an instrumental version or an instrumental cover. (For example, [[wikipedia:Ed Starink|Ed Starink]] made a crapton of decent-to-awesome synthesizer covers of pop songs. ''Yes, even "Never Gonna Give You Up." I'm not kidding, he really did.'')

* When you have one go and one microphone to record everything, there's no way to correct the errors if you flub anything. The result is obviously perfect…who are we kidding.

Chris is, of course, unaware of the incredible leaps and bounds that music recording has advanced in recent years, and hasn't noticed that there are plenty of good multitrack sound editors available for free. Many come with lyrics removal plugins.

Chris also demands this sort of weird screwy setup from ''others''; one might assume, for example, that the Brown-Striped One, with actual musical talent, would have more technical know-how on how to record music properly, but the SingStar Challenge was done on Chris's strange terms.

==See also==
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)]]
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn A list of Chris's MyCokeRewards Rhapsody purchases] (Note that those within "index[[Clyde Cash|GREGG]]bought.html" were, obviously, purchased by trolls who had hijacked the account.)

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and music

2010-01-29T11:09:44Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Musical tastes */ radio stations

When it comes to '''music''', [[Chris]]'s tastes range from generic pop to generic rock. However, he [[SHE IS MINE NOW|has been seen]] listening to shit he's heard from ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. While some undoubtedly great songs have made their way into the franchise, it is debatable whether Chris actually listens to them for enjoyment, instead of simply posturing.

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|right| This is obviously what music is all about]]

==Musical tastes==
Chris has often cited that he likes "All popular music." While it's possible that he's just giving that answer to appear cool and easygoing, he really does seem to try to listen to whatever popular opinion tells him is good. Almost every song on either of his two horrible albums was a top 40 hit at one point or another. Additionally, in a few of his [[Mumble]] chats, Chris left his radio on for the whole conversation. This means that he both enjoys the background music, and that he's totally inconsiderate to the other people in the chat.

In other videos it has been heard in the background that he usually listens to [[Wikipedia:WQMZ|Z 95.1]] from Charlottesville, a station which basically plays current day and older pop music which is incredibly bland and inoffensive (aka what you hear in a doctor's office or a store too cheap to afford Muzak), which would pretty well meet Chris's musical perspective.

The only artist Chris seems to really idolize is [[Britney Spears]]. There is virtually no doubt that this is more because she's hot than because he appreciates her musical talent.

If his Rhapsody account (seen below) is any indication, almost everything Chris listens to has been in a ''Guitar Hero'' game. This adds yet more [[Fat|weight]] to the theory that Chris is spoon-fed pop culture from [[PS3| video games]] and ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Also, keeping with the theme of liking things that most people his age are [[Ghostbusters|either]] [[American Rabbit|unaware]] of or [[Red Skelton|would]] [[I Love Lucy|not]] [[Thurston Howell III|enjoy]], Chris has twice referenced Billy Joel's 1985 track "[[Wikipedia:You're Only Human (Second Wind)|You're Only Human (Second Wind)]]," an extremely dated, upbeat mid-80's pop song written specifically to stop teenagers from killing themselves. To date, Chris has referenced the song in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|YouTube video]] where he says [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting your pants]] from [[stress]] isn't a big deal, and again when [[Mailbag 6|asked]] by a fan whether he'd ever had thoughts of suicide. Chris replied, with no elaboration, that he had "[[List of Chris's Lies|a lot to live for]]" and told the fan to go listen to the song.

==YouTube background music==
Towards the fall of 2009, Chris began to include popular songs as background music in a number of his Youtube videos. Some videos, such as [[SHE IS MINE NOW]], featured [[Wikipedia:Aerosmith|Aerosmith]] in the background, possibly in a sad attempt to appear intimidating and hardcore. For [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] showing off his [[I AM STRONG|athletic prowess]], Chris favored "[[Wikipedia:Eye of the Tiger|Eye of the Tiger]]" by Survivor. In light of Chris's virulent hatred of [[homos]], this is a somewhat ironic choice, given the extraordinarily homoerotic overtones of both the training sequences in ''Rocky III'' and Survivor's own music video for the song. For [[For Kacey from CWC|videos]] intended to express his heartfelt love for [[Kacey]], Chris employed REO Speedwagon's power ballad "Can't Fight This Feeling."

==Singing==
[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|left|"You've seen life through distorted eyes,
You know you had to learn,
The execution of your mind,
You really had to turn"]]

It is impossible to overstate how terrible of a singer Chris is. It's also impossible to overstate how deluded Chris is about his ability to sing. He's so deluded, in fact, when trying to confront [[Liquid]] via artistic competition, he created the [[SingStar Challenge]], and lost spectacularly.

{{Quote|...and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor.|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls#Introduction|being sadly mistaken]].}}

Chris's voice is unusually high-pitched, and often louder than appropriate. He also tends to speak in an odd, emotionless monotone. These issues with his voice become even more obvious when he tries to sing. In both his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums, he doesn't actually "sing" so much as desperately yell over the track in an attempt to drown out the actual words of the song. This is painfully obvious when he attempts to sing [[Sonichu's Zip]], a song that uses "Sonic Drive," the ''Japanese'' theme song of the anime ''[[Sonic]] X'', where the entire song devolves into screaming gibberish. When he does try to actually vary his voice away from the standard monotone, it becomes very obvious that Chris is completely tone-deaf. His [[Speech Impediment|voice goes up and down]] with little regard to the background music, or even the original artist he's shouting over.

Chris also has a lot of trouble with timing. While the songs he's written usually do a pretty good job matching the originals, Chris often falls behind or rushes ahead of the music he's chosen. This could probably be avoided if he took the time to practice, but practice would be work, and work is something Chris just doesn't do.

===A capella===
In the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris will occasionally break out into ''a capella'' renditions of what we can only assume is supposed to be Sonichu's theme music. These bizarre freestyle musical interludes drive home exactly how childish Chris is. There's something uniquely terrifying about a 27 year old man (who looks 45) showing us his Sonic/Pokémon crossover and shouting "dun dun dun." Chris also occasionally does this in his normal videos. Most recently he performed a poor rendition of "The Final Countdown" while showing us that he can still [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|pick up a chair]].

Despite his frequent use of this vocal technique, Chris clearly doesn't understand the full meaning of the word. During the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], a frequently source of [[rage]] from Chris was the "music" in the background of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s video. However, since the music was simple beatboxing, it would be considered ''a capella'' by most.

===Rap===
With the success of artists like [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem]] and [[Wikipedia:Jedi Mind Tricks|Jedi Mind Tricks]], plus the odd continued existence of [[Wikipedia:Nerdcore|nerdcore]], white guys rapping on [[Youtube]] is not unheard of. [[CChanSonichuCWC|Some of these individuals]] demonstrate impressive [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|talent]] in their ability to flow on a beat. Christian is not among them.

Of course, his most notable foray into rap is his entry for the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa Contest]]. While his motivations and the drama they caused are covered extensively in their own article, the video itself is characterized by a complete lack of rhythm or flow. The result sounds sort of like a Muppet slurring his words together and randomly shouting.

Before he starts the song in earnest, Chris does a little bit of freestyling in the beginning. Needless to say, it's not promising:

{{Quote|I have a PSP and she don't/So give me the PSP, unwrap the wrapper/So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!|Chris, [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Master Onion A-La Mode|almost rhyming]].}}

This was nothing compared to his [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW#Video|most recent foray]] into the genre. Playing Aerosmith in the background instead of a breakbeat, Chris basically just shouts a lot of random short sentences with no regard as to how they flow, or if they even rhyme at all.

{{Quote|You just a dang dummy!/And you still chicken you's a dang coward!/You wanna come fight me/Come fight me in person/Come out from behind the camera you fool|Chris, "rapping"}}

In [[December 2009]], Chris would [[Hello, Juffalo|rap once again]] to Insane Clown Posse side project [[Wikipedia:Dark Lotus|Dark Lotus]]. As usual he made no attempt to learn the lyrics and appears to be reading them off a piece of paper with inappropriate affect. During a portion of the video he mumbles to himself, rocking back and forth and fondling his ample breasts not once, but twice. He also refers to himself as a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Juffalo ''Juffalo''], a term apparently used by Insane Clown Posse aficionados to describe the noncommittal poseurs who aren't good enough to fully appreciate the world of clown-related rap.

Two days prior to this he made another [[IPods Down and Listen Up|awful freestyle rap]]. The point of this is unclear, although he apparently visited a doctor, who suggested that he take over-the-counter vitamins. He likens the effects of these vitamins to Viagra, and then compares himself to a tiger who will forcibly rape a panther to produce tiger-panther cubs. Yeah...

==Instruments==

[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|thumb|right| Click click click. It's like I'm playing real guitar!]]

{{quote|I would play my ax [sic] on the Wii; getting the high scores, scored better, real play for my benefit. | [[Blanca]], acting as a proxy for Chris to espouse his flawed beliefs on music}}

Chris seems to have a very tenuous grasp on what constitutes a musical instrument. Notably, in [[Brutal Legend Plus|several]] [[Holding Out For a Hero|of]] [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|his]] [[LOOK at the truth!|videos]], Chris tends to treat his [[Gitar of Fail]] like it's a real instrument. This seems outright foolish, even for Chris, until you consider his mindset. All of Chris's [[Sonichu|"creations"]] are copies of other things, yet are still [[Chris and Copyright|somehow completely original.]] So by "playing" someone else's song on ''Guitar Hero'', his [[autistic]] mindset dictates that he is actually playing the song. Go ahead and try to wrap your head around this doublethink.

As further proof of his madness, Chris equated [[Liquid]]'s actual musical skill to him playing ''Guitar Hero'', to such a degree that he felt it necessary to outlaw both in the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{tinyquote|-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Rock Revolution, etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO.| Chris, inspiring the hatred of <s>audiophiles</s> people who like music everywhere}}

==Recording tech==
Chris's idea of accompaniment is putting the original song playing on the background using his PSP and the most expensive speakers his boat could tug in, while he sings with his unique voice. The singing, of course, is dutifully recorded with his PSEye/camera. The implications are staggering:

* There's always a huge quality loss when music is played on speaker and then re-recorded from a distance, because the acoustics of the room distort the sound and the air itself blocks low and high frequencies, leaving you with only a distorted fraction of the original sound. Chris, of course, believes that everything he does is perfect on the first try and never has to be redone, just like his art.

* The original lyrics are still on the song. At least on one occasion, Chris even screwed up harder than this, and got a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" from ''Family Guy'', clobbered by dialogue and other sounds.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]</ref> While lyrics often can't always be removed from a mixed song entirely, it's at least worth a shot trying lyrics removal software. Or, it might pay to look for an instrumental version or an instrumental cover. (For example, [[wikipedia:Ed Starink|Ed Starink]] made a crapton of decent-to-awesome synthesizer covers of pop songs. ''Yes, even "Never Gonna Give You Up." I'm not kidding, he really did.'')

* When you have one go and one microphone to record everything, there's no way to correct the errors if you flub anything. The result is obviously perfect…who are we kidding.

Chris is, of course, unaware of the incredible leaps and bounds that music recording has advanced in recent years, and hasn't noticed that there are plenty of good multitrack sound editors available for free. Many come with lyrics removal plugins.

Chris also demands this sort of weird screwy setup from ''others''; one might assume, for example, that the Brown-Striped One, with actual musical talent, would have more technical know-how on how to record music properly, but the SingStar Challenge was done on Chris's strange terms.

==See also==
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)]]
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn A list of Chris's MyCokeRewards Rhapsody purchases] (Note that those within "index[[Clyde Cash|GREGG]]bought.html" were, obviously, purchased by trolls who had hijacked the account.)

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and art

2010-01-29T10:59:40Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Choices of materials and technology */ observation about current situation

[[Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|Chris's first known drawing from when he was 15.]]

[[Image:ProportionFail.jpg|thumb|Chris is an expert at proportion.]]

'''Art''' has been, and always will be, [[Chris]]'s selling point. From the very day "[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]" found out about Chris and his creation of Sonichu to today, many people have been drawn (no pun intended) to Chris because of his infamous work. To this day, many people wish to see more of it and will go to [[Ivy|extreme]] [[CChanSonichuCWC|measures]] to get him to work more.

When faced with Chris, most people will undoubtedly ask, "is there any field of endeavor that he doesn't completely suck? Is there any field where he has shown any improvement at all?" One could argue that he ''has'', in fact, got slightly better over the years. There's no question about it; the early ''Sonichu'' comics are noticeably worse than the newer ones. However, we must remember that he wasn't any good to begin with and has barely gotten any better in spite of years of practice. Chris's drawings still remain disproportionate, child-like, unimaginative and ''hilarious''. [[GodJesus]] bless his little autistic heart.

The sad part is, this is the closest Chris has to an actual "skill". It's no wonder he's never been able to get and keep a job.

==Chris and the medium==

=== Exercise of skills and improvement in craft ===
[[Image:0025-ChristophersMicroMornings.jpg|thumb|Not bad for a grade schooler. Sadly, he peaked in the [[1980s]].]]
Since Chris first started drawing, his artwork has been abysmal. While it may have improved since the day he first drew Sonic the Hedgehog, there's still considerable room for improvement. Sad to say, Chris refuses to improve, thinking that what he's doing now is the shit.

As Chuck Jones said, everyone's got a hundred thousand bad drawings in them. Chris is just too lazy to get them out. Chris fails to understand that even great artists don't get every stroke down on the paper perfectly; he just scribbles down something and thinks that is the best thing he can ever do. Many beginning artists notice immediately that they can't draw worth a damn, and spend quite a lot of time erasing and redrawing. This is perfectly normal. Where Chris fails is not stopping and asking "does this look good?" If the answer is "no," the obvious solution is to keep trying. In Chris's mind, the answer is always "yes."

Chris does not appear to draw much outside of the comic pages themselves. He almost never shows any pencil sketches (and those only when trolls whip him into releasing them), and never any practice drawings, master copies, anatomy studies, speed sketches, class exercises, scribbles on napkins from restaurants, or anything of that sort; it is easy to question whether or not he does any of the latter sorts at all. When he tried to prove his real identity, he just showed drawings that everyone had seen before, some of which were several ''years'' old. Most amateur or professional artists, if put into that situation, would probably flip open their sketchbook and show new stuff they'd just drawn an hour ago. He appears to do at least some pencil sketches before drawing the comic (the hasty release of [[Sonichu 9]] also proves that), but judging from his [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|tutorial video]], he doesn't ink the pencilings, he just re-draws everything hastily.

He revealed in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_2 a response to an email dated 21 November 2009] that he spends "an hour at most" drawing a comic page and about a half-hour coloring it, "sometimes longer depending on the thought process" (whatever that means). In other words, he invests only a ''fraction'' of the time most serious artists put into their work, and it shows. He even offers patently terrible advice to a fan in [[Mailbag 16]], recommending they focus on drawing foreground characters before doing any kind of background. For most comic artists some minimal background is drawn first so the artist can have some sense of dimension and perspective, then foreground and background images are refined simultaneously. Of course, most comic artists don't work with ballpoint pens and crayola markers...

Ultimately, Chris will never improve because he doesn't actually ''care'' about his art or his comics. He's not interested in creating art for art's sake, and he doesn't care about the story. Like with his [[Sonichu Chronicles|videogame ideas]], he considers any idea he comes up with just as valid as anything he actually commits to paper. He only started publicizing his work as a horribly misguided attempt to attract [[boyfriend-free girl|women]], and he only continues to work on it because he's convinced he has a large fanbase that's demanding it. And he only cares about ''that'' because he thinks that some of his fans are women who might [[china|reward him]] for his skills.

=== Comic writing and structure ===
{{main|Chris and writing}}

Chris has major problems keeping the story together: the comic is not scripted at all, and he keeps adding details that he doesn't properly explain later in the story. As far as comic structure goes, he also has problems with textwalling and keeping the speech bubbles in comprehensible order.

=== Choices of materials and technology ===
[[File:Marker Section.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Crayola is the official art supplier for the Sonichu franchise, whether they like it or not.]]
Chris seems to be under the delusion that hand-drawn comics are always better than any drawings produced through other means. This can clearly be attributed to only the fact that Chris hates to change what he has already learned. Most artists would usually say that no material is inherently better than any other, all that matters is that in the end, you have aesthetically pleasing end results — or aesthetically unpleasing, if that was the intention.

While it's true that buying fancy pens won't make you a great artist, they certainly help. Chris doesn't believe in decent-quality media. Cheap paper, cheap pens, Crayola Fucking Magic Markers — serious artists would invest a little bit more of thought on these issues as well. Good art pencils do not cost that much more than crappy ones, and are available at wide range of blackness. The lowest-quality papers tend to crinkle ([[Wedding Comic|even before you stick it in a scanner]]) and turn yellow really fast, while even the typical photocopy/laser printer paper avoids that fate. Chris also pinches pennies in altogether wrong way by partaking in [[Chris and writing#Textwalls and unreadable bubble layouts|rampant textwalling]] to "save marker ink"<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>; while great modern artists have occasionally made poignant art by consciously ''not'' expending material, most artists probably prefer to use art supplies for their intended purpose. (''Duh.'')

As seen in CWC - Hand Drawn Original, his sketching set is something no adult would be caught using professionally, and he doesn't even use the most basic of drawing desks or surfaces. His creations come to life via a toy-like sketching kit from [[Wikipedia:Spin Master|Spin Master]] called [http://www.amazon.com/Strawberry-Shortcake-Reflecta-Sketch-Set/dp/B00144QMOY Reflecta Sketch] (shockingly, not the Strawberry Shortcake kit seen in the link; it's assumed the product bombed and he was one of the few who bought it, thus the lack of a product page from Spin Master), which only allows him to trace on basic letter-sized copy paper, not the large sketching paper most professional artists use. The kit comes with a reflective piece of plastic where an original can be placed to the left and the reflection is used for tracing an outline, allowing Chris the ease of copying other artists' works to use in his general and [[Rule 34]] artwork.

Of course, considering where Chris prioritizes what he gets from his [[monthly tugboat]] (i.e., [[sex toys]], [[My Little Pony]]s and [[video games|vidya games]]), it's no wonder that a man who buys all his [[Chris and fashion|clothing]] from a Salvation Army that's apparently run by clowns would invest in art supplies that were intended for a third-grader.

The less we say about Chris's use of computers in putting the final touches in his comics, the better - he uses ''Comic Sans'', a font that's almost universally condemned among comic artists as overused and ugly. <ref>[http://bancomicsans.com Ban the Comic Sans]</ref> <ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 They will make you taste the curb]</ref> Chris appears to have some version of Photoshop at his disposal (as seen in the "Spiderman-fucking Clyde" saga), but as everyone can tell from the results, either he doesn't know how to use it, or he doesn't do very much with it. Obviously if he did he could save his precious marker ink and color his pages via computer, but with [[Asperchu|his current sworn enemy]] utilizing this technique for their art to much better effect, it's doubtful Chris will follow.

=== Drawing techniques ===
Chris has never even learned to hold a pen correctly. Instead of holding the front of the pen with the thumb and forefinger, he draws with his index finger sticking out and bent around the pen.

Even worse, he doesn't have a working drawing process. Well prepared is half done, and most artists spend most of the time in the preparation phase: sketches, sketches, sketches. On the other hand, Chris seems to focus on what is admittedly the most taxing part of drawing: coloring and putting in the final little details. As said above, Chris hastily sketches something or draws outlines, then colors the drawing. The whole ''point'' of pencil sketches is that you know beforehand where the ink goes; the idea is to make sure your drawing looks ''right'' before you make hard-to-repair mistakes. The whole process of refining the work and whittling out imperfections one by one until you're satisfied with the result is probably something that would cause too much [[stress]]. Also, Chris is incapable of drawing simple straight lines or even coloring within his lines 100% of the time.

=== Visual style and anatomy ===
[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|thumb|Nice arms you got there, Chris.]]

Before the comics, Chris at least attempted a style approaching realism for "paintings" (actually, on close examination, most are crayon drawings filled in to a ridiculously thorough degree). Most of the results are buried deep in the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and are about as good as you'd imagine: the anatomy is questionable at best, and rarely consistent. Notably, his glasses are drawn as gi-normous goggles, and appear to be the same frames he wears today. Around the time he got into Pokémon, he started moving from pseudo-realistic into a style the Internet would be much more familiar with.

Chris started out with a cartoony style for the comic book, in that all the characters had round heads and comparatively small eyes. One trait that has persisted over years is the way he draws smiles (and oh boy, do his characters smile a lot): A smiling mouth that consists of a curved line with two tiny curved lines on the ends. Most children draw smiles this way, but there always will be a day when the kindergarten or 1st-grade school teacher says that this is just ''not'' how people draw smiles in the real world. Nowadays, though, Chris is more eager to draw only half of the smiles, which looks a little bit less creepily manchild-like.

Things changed as Chris got into [[anime]], as well as manga, and sought to emulate them to impress his then-current [[gal-pal]], [[Megan Schroeder]]. As like many amateur western artists who ape the style without attempting to adapt it, he simply uses the clichés of "anime style": big eyes, speed lines, panty shots and many of the cheesier conventions, along with heads shaped like pentagons. There is no attempt to incorporate, fuse or otherwise adopt manga elements in a creative and original manner; these art elements are simply layered on top of his original "style" with no adjustment. Chris is no [[Wikipedia:Go Nagai|Go Nagai]], nor has he probably even heard of him.

However, Chris owns at least one book about drawing manga, as seen in [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]. The book in itself covers everything to do with portraying couples. This volume had images of couples in bed making love. Naturally the degree of the scenes isn't that extreme, but the fact that it's in there lends to the explanation as to why Chris might have purchased the book. Whether or not Chris bought it simply to better draw out his delusional fantasies or simply for more material to gawk at during [[Mass debating]] isn't known. Either way, the book has taught him nothing since his works are still horrendous mockeries of what cartooning stands for, Western and Eastern styles alike.

Tying in with this, Chris shows no interest in proportion or even basic anatomy. The manga style allows for some artistic license when drawing human beings, but after seeing what Chris does with anatomy, or rather doesn't, it's clear to see his license needs to be revoked. He draws characters as colored-in outlines, and as a result they have no appreciable anatomy or proportion. All his characters are made of lumpy, sexless shapes with crude genitalia attached. For someone who's supposedly a porno connoisseur, Chris doesn't seem to notice there are sexual characteristics that make women attractive beyond boobs, china, and ass; if he does, he's doing a predictably terrible job depicting them. Note the porn Chris rips off, and how he mimics the basic shape of each picture while getting the anatomy (wonky as most of them are) disturbingly out of whack.

When Sonichu is drawn by Chris speeding towards a rescue, he doesn't look like he's rushing to save the day Sonic-style, but instead has the proportions of those over-exaggerated steamroller men that are the hallmark of circa 1960's Yellow Page ads for construction companies. It's easy to see that Chris is copying the original style of Sonic's running based off the old DiC-produced cartoons and the early comics (which Sonic was depicted running in a cartoon-like, spinning-wheel manner), his lack of proportion and lazy manner in which he refuses to show bending legs give the illusion of Sonichu becoming a steamroller.

What's worse is that even though his characters are simple shapes, they aren't even consistent simple shapes. From one drawing to the next, Chris draws his characters (even himself) differently. Limbs change shape, heads change size, and faces become unrecognizable; it's only by color scheme that we can guess which character is which. If he were even to practice in the ''slightest'' degree, anatomy and character design would be more consistent. Beyond his differently-colored eyes and Sonichu medallion, no two Chrises have ever looked alike, or even remotely like the actual Chris, although [[Sammy]] comes somewhat closer.

An interesting thing to note is that, if a character is part of the background (and sometimes, even if they aren't), Chris will draw that character either one of two ways: as a simple white silhouette or as a stick figure. The silhouette drawing was a nuance that Chris picked up after watching the anime series ''[[Excel Saga]]'', while the stick figure idea was picked up through ''[[South Park]]''. Interestingly, [[wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]] has also used this shorthand, and, as his many "admirers" will point out, it's one of the laziest shortcuts ever, not to mention blatantly obvious in a medium that ''isn't animated.''

Chris's use of color is rather staggering, and it's hard to begin describing it. Because he colors everything with markers, he uses a lot of flat, basic colors, often as bright as possible. He often doesn't even try finding natural shades of things, or sometimes even shades that would fit in the drawings at all. Such coloration only makes his drawings appear even more childish.

=== Character Design ===
As stated throughout this article, despite Chris's colorful cast of characters, many of them rip off designs from existing characters, with Chris making no effort whatsoever to disguise them. His [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] tend to follow the same Sonic-type anthropomorphic look of slick backed quills, shoes and gloves. [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]], however, vary. Rosechu herself follows Amy Rose's look; [[Bubbles]], [[Simonla]] and [[Angelica]] follow the SatAM Sonic series and Archie comic series' [[Women's Rights|lack of clothing]] á la Sally Acorn; and [[Zapina]] is the only one with an original look.

This design failure goes beyond his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon and extends to his humans as well, especially those connected to him. Most of the time, he'll either disguise their faces with a hood or lift designs from characters from other series. [[Bagget]] and [[ScotPalazzo]] were pulled from characters from ''Excel Saga''. Whenever Chris needed designs for his e-sweethearts' families, he really went off the deep end: [[Officer Keino]], Ivy's father, had his design cribbed off Coach McGuick of ''Home Movies'' and the father and sister of Kacey were ripped off from Guile from ''Street Fighter'' and Candice from ''Pokémon''.

Beyond that, he doesn't even bother trying to design better clothing for his characters. Most of them wear stereotypical "basic" clothing and Chris himself wears his usual clown shirts and pants. With the sole exception of [[Meg-chan]], every female that shows up in his comics wears high-heeled dress shoes, probably inspired by the fact that most elder animated female characters tend to wear those types of shoes wherever they go.

== Chris and the industry ==
In the [[Sonichu Chronicles]] and [[Chris's resume]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his art isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as Archie Comics or Marvel, creating his Sonichu comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

It has been demonstrated again and again that Chris has little concept of how the creative industries work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work. The publishing industry does not want or seek résumés; they make publishing contracts on completed manuscripts and works that have been submitted to them. Comic publishers don't employ artists unless they have a portfolio of work, and top-notch publishers probably want actual previous publication credits before they let the artists mess with their priceless properties on their dime. Chris hasn't even tried any self-publishing channels, and the thought of monetizing his web comic hasn't crossed his mind either. It also took a while for Chris to come up with the idea of drawing on-camera.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris is an asshole|resisted attempts to educate him]] in this regard.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris' current skill at art).

==Originality==
He has none. Let's leave it at that.

==Plagiarism and stealing==
: ''See also: [[Chris and copyright]]'', ''[[Chris and tracing]]''

From the day Chris drew his Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine, it's easy to see that Chris copies what he sees. This easily started with his drawings of Sonic, Mega Man X and the like on there, but it really spiraled out of control with the creation of Sonichu and Rosechu. It's easy to see that, whenever Chris needs an awesome pose or something for a character, he'll usually fall back on what he's seen. This usually means that he'll take a piece of artwork and change it to his own needs. For example, Rosechu's nudes in [[Sonichu 8|Episode 17]] are actually tracings of Sonic, Transformers and ''[[Family Guy]]'' porn, as seen below.

Even more so, Chris isn't above stealing and even altering others' work just to make it his own. Sonichu's easily a given, but it's really evident when he steals from his TRUE and HONEST [[fans]] and [[sweethearts]]. [[Megagi]], [[Jiggliami]] and [[Layla]] were taken from, respectively, [[Megan]], [[Blanca]] and [[Ivy]] after they abandoned him. The character of [[Simonla Rosechu]] was created when Chris took a character [[Evan]] created, Simonchu, and slapped breasts and a china on it. Chris frequently didn't credit original artists when posting fan art to [[deviantART]], and the current [[CWCipedia]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Good_Fan_Art fan art page] has no credits whatsoever, apart of a brief mention of [[PandaHalo]]. Yet, in the [[Asperchu|not-so-unlikely opposite case]], if one were to steal Sonichu, there'd be hell to pay.

==Rule 34==
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's creations believe that his [[Rule 34]] artwork is "lifelike".]]
As Chris has no shame, neither do his pictures. Many of his drawings have been outright explicit and caused quite a stir with people. Of these pictures, the most damning one of all is the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]], which brought an end to the Megan Saga and cemented the notion that Chris was an incestuous [[pedofork]]. It's these artworks that provoked him to up the age on all of his Sonichus and Rosechus so they can be true, loving couples without any of that messy pedofork undertones.

Still doesn't work, as one of his recent pieces of art ended up getting him tossed out of DeviantArt. Again.

The pictures below are a group of Rule 34s Chris drew for Sonichu 8. As seen in this gallery, Chris can't even copy bad porn to save his life, with Rosechu turning into a deformed monstrosity in each panel, all for the sake of [[Chris and sex|sex]]. Especially noticeable is the final picture, which shows off a recurring trend in his pictures: the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages", in which Chris draws the "[[cum]]" from the woman ''around'' and ''outside'' the vagina instead of from the inside, leading it to have a "glowing" effect.

While all the following images are obviously (bad) Reflecta Sketch tracings of Rule 34 pictures that Chris himself loaded on to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Encycapeeya Dramakka Paysh]], it's not clear whether or not all his other porn drawings are also tracings. It's likely that they are, and the source material Chris stole those from is just not as blatantly obvious.

=== Rule 34 (tracing) gallery ===

<center><gallery>
Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 2.JPG
Image:chrischantraced3.jpg
Image:Chris-chan Traced 4.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 5.JPG
</gallery></center>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:441-CubScoutShield.JPG
Image:442-HedgehogShark1.JPG
Image:443-HedgehogShark2.JPG
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG
Image:446-CWCWeave.JPG
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG
Image:448-CWCWigwam.JPG
Image:449-CWCDreamCatcher.JPG
Image:450-HedgehogFish1.JPG
Image:451-HedgehogFish2.JPG
Image:452-CWCsBunchOfArt.jpg
Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG
Image:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG
Image:459-CWCsBanjo.JPG
Image:460-CWCsComputerGraphicsPoster.JPG
Image:463-SonicAndTailsBunch.jpg
Image:464-CWCSpeckle.jpg
Image:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG
Image:466-CWCNecklace.jpg
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG
Image:472-CWCWingCapDish.JPG
Image:473-YarnPot.JPG
Image:474-SquarePot.JPG
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG
Image:477-PastelDuoPic.JPG
Image:478-PastelHorses.JPG
Image:479-PastelSunset.JPG
Image:482-SwirlingEspanolics.JPG
Image:483-RainbowLeaf.JPG
Image:484-MergingPeople.JPG
Image:485-CWCsF.JPG
Image:486-CWCcatchesaPikachu.JPG
Image:487-CWCMergedinArt.jpg
Image:488-100_0521.JPG
Image:489-100_0522.JPG
Image:490-100_0523.JPG
Image:491-100 0524.JPG
Image:492-100 0525.JPG
Image:493-100 0526.JPG
Image:494-100 0527.JPG
Image:495-100 0528.JPG
Image:496-100 0529.JPG
Image:497-100 0530.JPG
Image:498-100 0531.JPG
Image:499-100 0532.JPG
Image:500-100 0533.JPG
Image:501-100 0534.JPG
Image:503-100 0537.JPG
Image:504-100 0538.JPG
Image:505-100 0539.JPG
Image:506-100 0540.JPG
</gallery></center>

==TL;DR==
Chris is an anti-artist.
== Sauces ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and art

2010-01-29T07:05:23Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Choices of materials and technology */ picture of the marker aisle

[[Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|Chris's first known drawing from when he was 15.]]

[[Image:ProportionFail.jpg|thumb|Chris is an expert at proportion.]]

'''Art''' has been, and always will be, [[Chris]]'s selling point. From the very day "[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]" found out about Chris and his creation of Sonichu to today, many people have been drawn (no pun intended) to Chris because of his infamous work. To this day, many people wish to see more of it and will go to [[Ivy|extreme]] [[CChanSonichuCWC|measures]] to get him to work more.

When faced with Chris, most people will undoubtedly ask, "is there any field of endeavor that he doesn't completely suck? Is there any field where he has shown any improvement at all?" One could argue that he ''has'', in fact, got slightly better over the years. There's no question about it; the early ''Sonichu'' comics are noticeably worse than the newer ones. However, we must remember that he wasn't any good to begin with and has barely gotten any better in spite of years of practice. Chris's drawings still remain disproportionate, child-like, unimaginative and ''hilarious''. [[GodJesus]] bless his little autistic heart.

The sad part is, this is the closest Chris has to an actual "skill". It's no wonder he's never been able to get and keep a job.

==Chris and the medium==

=== Exercise of skills and improvement in craft ===
[[Image:0025-ChristophersMicroMornings.jpg|thumb|Not bad for a grade schooler. Sadly, he peaked in the [[1980s]].]]
Since Chris first started drawing, his artwork has been abysmal. While it may have improved since the day he first drew Sonic the Hedgehog, there's still considerable room for improvement. Sad to say, Chris refuses to improve, thinking that what he's doing now is the shit.

As Chuck Jones said, everyone's got a hundred thousand bad drawings in them. Chris is just too lazy to get them out. Chris fails to understand that even great artists don't get every stroke down on the paper perfectly; he just scribbles down something and thinks that is the best thing he can ever do. Many beginning artists notice immediately that they can't draw worth a damn, and spend quite a lot of time erasing and redrawing. This is perfectly normal. Where Chris fails is not stopping and asking "does this look good?" If the answer is "no," the obvious solution is to keep trying. In Chris's mind, the answer is always "yes."

Chris does not appear to draw much outside of the comic pages themselves. He almost never shows any pencil sketches (and those only when trolls whip him into releasing them), and never any practice drawings, master copies, anatomy studies, speed sketches, class exercises, scribbles on napkins from restaurants, or anything of that sort; it is easy to question whether or not he does any of the latter sorts at all. When he tried to prove his real identity, he just showed drawings that everyone had seen before, some of which were several ''years'' old. Most amateur or professional artists, if put into that situation, would probably flip open their sketchbook and show new stuff they'd just drawn an hour ago. He appears to do at least some pencil sketches before drawing the comic (the hasty release of [[Sonichu 9]] also proves that), but judging from his [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|tutorial video]], he doesn't ink the pencilings, he just re-draws everything hastily.

He revealed in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_2 a response to an email dated 21 November 2009] that he spends "an hour at most" drawing a comic page and about a half-hour coloring it, "sometimes longer depending on the thought process" (whatever that means). In other words, he invests only a ''fraction'' of the time most serious artists put into their work, and it shows. He even offers patently terrible advice to a fan in [[Mailbag 16]], recommending they focus on drawing foreground characters before doing any kind of background. For most comic artists some minimal background is drawn first so the artist can have some sense of dimension and perspective, then foreground and background images are refined simultaneously. Of course, most comic artists don't work with ballpoint pens and crayola markers...

Ultimately, Chris will never improve because he doesn't actually ''care'' about his art or his comics. He's not interested in creating art for art's sake, and he doesn't care about the story. Like with his [[Sonichu Chronicles|videogame ideas]], he considers any idea he comes up with just as valid as anything he actually commits to paper. He only started publicizing his work as a horribly misguided attempt to attract [[boyfriend-free girl|women]], and he only continues to work on it because he's convinced he has a large fanbase that's demanding it. And he only cares about ''that'' because he thinks that some of his fans are women who might [[china|reward him]] for his skills.

=== Comic writing and structure ===
{{main|Chris and writing}}

Chris has major problems keeping the story together: the comic is not scripted at all, and he keeps adding details that he doesn't properly explain later in the story. As far as comic structure goes, he also has problems with textwalling and keeping the speech bubbles in comprehensible order.

=== Choices of materials and technology ===
[[File:Marker Section.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Crayola is the official art supplier for the Sonichu franchise, whether they like it or not.]]
Chris seems to be under the delusion that hand-drawn comics are always better than any drawings produced through other means. This can clearly be attributed to only the fact that Chris hates to change what he has already learned. Most artists would usually say that no material is inherently better than any other, all that matters is that in the end, you have aesthetically pleasing end results — or aesthetically unpleasing, if that was the intention.

While it's true that buying fancy pens won't make you a great artist, they certainly help. Chris doesn't believe in decent-quality media. Cheap paper, cheap pens, Crayola Fucking Magic Markers — serious artists would invest a little bit more of thought on these issues as well. Good art pencils do not cost that much more than crappy ones, and are available at wide range of blackness. The lowest-quality papers tend to crinkle ([[Wedding Comic|even before you stick it in a scanner]]) and turn yellow really fast, while even the typical photocopy/laser printer paper avoids that fate. Chris also pinches pennies in altogether wrong way by partaking in [[Chris and writing#Textwalls and unreadable bubble layouts|rampant textwalling]] to "save marker ink"<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>; while great modern artists have occasionally made poignant art by consciously ''not'' expending material, most artists probably prefer to use art supplies for their intended purpose. (''Duh.'')

As seen in CWC - Hand Drawn Original, his sketching set is something no adult would be caught using professionally, and he doesn't even use the most basic of drawing desks or surfaces. His creations come to life via a toy-like sketching kit from [[Wikipedia:Spin Master|Spin Master]] called [http://www.amazon.com/Strawberry-Shortcake-Reflecta-Sketch-Set/dp/B00144QMOY Reflecta Sketch] (shockingly, not the Strawberry Shortcake kit seen in the link; it's assumed the product bombed and he was one of the few who bought it, thus the lack of a product page from Spin Master), which only allows him to trace on basic letter-sized copy paper, not the large sketching paper most professional artists use. The kit comes with a reflective piece of plastic where an original can be placed to the left and the reflection is used for tracing an outline, allowing Chris the ease of copying other artists' works to use in his general and [[Rule 34]] artwork.

Of course, considering where Chris prioritizes what he gets from his [[monthly tugboat]] (i.e., [[sex toys]], [[My Little Pony]]s and [[video games|vidya games]]), it's no wonder that a man who buys all his [[Chris and fashion|clothing]] from a Salvation Army that's apparently run by clowns would invest in art supplies that were intended for a third-grader.

The less we say about Chris's use of computers in putting the final touches in his comics, the better - he uses ''Comic Sans'', a font that's almost universally condemned among comic artists as overused and ugly.<ref>[http://bancomicsans.com Ban the Comic Sans]</ref> <ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 They will make you taste the curb]</ref> Chris appears to have some version of Photoshop at his disposal (as seen in the "Spiderman-fucking Clyde" saga), but as everyone can tell from the results, either he doesn't know how to use it, or he doesn't do very much with it.

=== Drawing techniques ===
Chris has never even learned to hold a pen correctly. Instead of holding the front of the pen with the thumb and forefinger, he draws with his index finger sticking out and bent around the pen.

Even worse, he doesn't have a working drawing process. Well prepared is half done, and most artists spend most of the time in the preparation phase: sketches, sketches, sketches. On the other hand, Chris seems to focus on what is admittedly the most taxing part of drawing: coloring and putting in the final little details. As said above, Chris hastily sketches something or draws outlines, then colors the drawing. The whole ''point'' of pencil sketches is that you know beforehand where the ink goes; the idea is to make sure your drawing looks ''right'' before you make hard-to-repair mistakes. The whole process of refining the work and whittling out imperfections one by one until you're satisfied with the result is probably something that would cause too much [[stress]]. Also, Chris is incapable of drawing simple straight lines or even coloring within his lines 100% of the time.

=== Visual style and anatomy ===
[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|thumb|Nice arms you got there, Chris.]]

Before the comics, Chris at least attempted a style approaching realism for "paintings" (actually, on close examination, most are crayon drawings filled in to a ridiculously thorough degree). Most of the results are buried deep in the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and are about as good as you'd imagine: the anatomy is questionable at best, and rarely consistent. Notably, his glasses are drawn as gi-normous goggles, and appear to be the same frames he wears today. Around the time he got into Pokémon, he started moving from pseudo-realistic into a style the Internet would be much more familiar with.

Chris started out with a cartoony style for the comic book, in that all the characters had round heads and comparatively small eyes. One trait that has persisted over years is the way he draws smiles (and oh boy, do his characters smile a lot): A smiling mouth that consists of a curved line with two tiny curved lines on the ends. Most children draw smiles this way, but there always will be a day when the kindergarten or 1st-grade school teacher says that this is just ''not'' how people draw smiles in the real world. Nowadays, though, Chris is more eager to draw only half of the smiles, which looks a little bit less creepily manchild-like.

Things changed as Chris got into [[anime]], as well as manga, and sought to emulate them to impress his then-current [[gal-pal]], [[Megan Schroeder]]. As like many amateur western artists who ape the style without attempting to adapt it, he simply uses the clichés of "anime style": big eyes, speed lines, panty shots and many of the cheesier conventions, along with heads shaped like pentagons. There is no attempt to incorporate, fuse or otherwise adopt manga elements in a creative and original manner; these art elements are simply layered on top of his original "style" with no adjustment. Chris is no [[Wikipedia:Go Nagai|Go Nagai]], nor has he probably even heard of him.

However, Chris owns at least one book about drawing manga, as seen in [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]. The book in itself covers everything to do with portraying couples. This volume had images of couples in bed making love. Naturally the degree of the scenes isn't that extreme, but the fact that it's in there lends to the explanation as to why Chris might have purchased the book. Whether or not Chris bought it simply to better draw out his delusional fantasies or simply for more material to gawk at during [[Mass debating]] isn't known. Either way, the book has taught him nothing since his works are still horrendous mockeries of what cartooning stands for, Western and Eastern styles alike.

Tying in with this, Chris shows no interest in proportion or even basic anatomy. The manga style allows for some artistic license when drawing human beings, but after seeing what Chris does with anatomy, or rather doesn't, it's clear to see his license needs to be revoked. He draws characters as colored-in outlines, and as a result they have no appreciable anatomy or proportion. All his characters are made of lumpy, sexless shapes with crude genitalia attached. For someone who's supposedly a porno connoisseur, Chris doesn't seem to notice there are sexual characteristics that make women attractive beyond boobs, china, and ass; if he does, he's doing a predictably terrible job depicting them. Note the porn Chris rips off, and how he mimics the basic shape of each picture while getting the anatomy (wonky as most of them are) disturbingly out of whack.

When Sonichu is drawn by Chris speeding towards a rescue, he doesn't look like he's rushing to save the day Sonic-style, but instead has the proportions of those over-exaggerated steamroller men that are the hallmark of circa 1960's Yellow Page ads for construction companies. It's easy to see that Chris is copying the original style of Sonic's running based off the old DiC-produced cartoons and the early comics (which Sonic was depicted running in a cartoon-like, spinning-wheel manner), his lack of proportion and lazy manner in which he refuses to show bending legs give the illusion of Sonichu becoming a steamroller.

What's worse is that even though his characters are simple shapes, they aren't even consistent simple shapes. From one drawing to the next, Chris draws his characters (even himself) differently. Limbs change shape, heads change size, and faces become unrecognizable; it's only by color scheme that we can guess which character is which. If he were even to practice in the ''slightest'' degree, anatomy and character design would be more consistent. Beyond his differently-colored eyes and Sonichu medallion, no two Chrises have ever looked alike, or even remotely like the actual Chris, although [[Sammy]] comes somewhat closer.

An interesting thing to note is that, if a character is part of the background (and sometimes, even if they aren't), Chris will draw that character either one of two ways: as a simple white silhouette or as a stick figure. The silhouette drawing was a nuance that Chris picked up after watching the anime series ''[[Excel Saga]]'', while the stick figure idea was picked up through ''[[South Park]]''. Interestingly, [[wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]] has also used this shorthand, and, as his many "admirers" will point out, it's one of the laziest shortcuts ever, not to mention blatantly obvious in a medium that ''isn't animated.''

Chris's use of color is rather staggering, and it's hard to begin describing it. Because he colors everything with markers, he uses a lot of flat, basic colors, often as bright as possible. He often doesn't even try finding natural shades of things, or sometimes even shades that would fit in the drawings at all. Such coloration only makes his drawings appear even more childish.

=== Character Design ===
As stated throughout this article, despite Chris's colorful cast of characters, many of them rip off designs from existing characters, with Chris making no effort whatsoever to disguise them. His [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] tend to follow the same Sonic-type anthropomorphic look of slick backed quills, shoes and gloves. [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]], however, vary. Rosechu herself follows Amy Rose's look; [[Bubbles]], [[Simonla]] and [[Angelica]] follow the SatAM Sonic series and Archie comic series' [[Women's Rights|lack of clothing]] á la Sally Acorn; and [[Zapina]] is the only one with an original look.

This design failure goes beyond his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon and extends to his humans as well, especially those connected to him. Most of the time, he'll either disguise their faces with a hood or lift designs from characters from other series. [[Bagget]] and [[ScotPalazzo]] were pulled from characters from ''Excel Saga''. Whenever Chris needed designs for his e-sweethearts' families, he really went off the deep end: [[Officer Keino]], Ivy's father, had his design cribbed off Coach McGuick of ''Home Movies'' and the father and sister of Kacey were ripped off from Guile from ''Street Fighter'' and Candice from ''Pokémon''.

Beyond that, he doesn't even bother trying to design better clothing for his characters. Most of them wear stereotypical "basic" clothing and Chris himself wears his usual clown shirts and pants. With the sole exception of [[Meg-chan]], every female that shows up in his comics wears high-heeled dress shoes, probably inspired by the fact that most elder animated female characters tend to wear those types of shoes wherever they go.

== Chris and the industry ==
In the [[Sonichu Chronicles]] and [[Chris's resume]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his art isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as Archie Comics or Marvel, creating his Sonichu comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

It has been demonstrated again and again that Chris has little concept of how the creative industries work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work. The publishing industry does not want or seek résumés; they make publishing contracts on completed manuscripts and works that have been submitted to them. Comic publishers don't employ artists unless they have a portfolio of work, and top-notch publishers probably want actual previous publication credits before they let the artists mess with their priceless properties on their dime. Chris hasn't even tried any self-publishing channels, and the thought of monetizing his web comic hasn't crossed his mind either. It also took a while for Chris to come up with the idea of drawing on-camera.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris is an asshole|resisted attempts to educate him]] in this regard.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris' current skill at art).

==Originality==
He has none. Let's leave it at that.

==Plagiarism and stealing==
: ''See also: [[Chris and copyright]]'', ''[[Chris and tracing]]''

From the day Chris drew his Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine, it's easy to see that Chris copies what he sees. This easily started with his drawings of Sonic, Mega Man X and the like on there, but it really spiraled out of control with the creation of Sonichu and Rosechu. It's easy to see that, whenever Chris needs an awesome pose or something for a character, he'll usually fall back on what he's seen. This usually means that he'll take a piece of artwork and change it to his own needs. For example, Rosechu's nudes in [[Sonichu 8|Episode 17]] are actually tracings of Sonic, Transformers and ''[[Family Guy]]'' porn, as seen below.

Even more so, Chris isn't above stealing and even altering others' work just to make it his own. Sonichu's easily a given, but it's really evident when he steals from his TRUE and HONEST [[fans]] and [[sweethearts]]. [[Megagi]], [[Jiggliami]] and [[Layla]] were taken from, respectively, [[Megan]], [[Blanca]] and [[Ivy]] after they abandoned him. The character of [[Simonla Rosechu]] was created when Chris took a character [[Evan]] created, Simonchu, and slapped breasts and a china on it. Chris frequently didn't credit original artists when posting fan art to [[deviantART]], and the current [[CWCipedia]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Good_Fan_Art fan art page] has no credits whatsoever, apart of a brief mention of [[PandaHalo]]. Yet, in the [[Asperchu|not-so-unlikely opposite case]], if one were to steal Sonichu, there'd be hell to pay.

==Rule 34==
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's creations believe that his [[Rule 34]] artwork is "lifelike".]]
As Chris has no shame, neither do his pictures. Many of his drawings have been outright explicit and caused quite a stir with people. Of these pictures, the most damning one of all is the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]], which brought an end to the Megan Saga and cemented the notion that Chris was an incestuous [[pedofork]]. It's these artworks that provoked him to up the age on all of his Sonichus and Rosechus so they can be true, loving couples without any of that messy pedofork undertones.

Still doesn't work, as one of his recent pieces of art ended up getting him tossed out of DeviantArt. Again.

The pictures below are a group of Rule 34s Chris drew for Sonichu 8. As seen in this gallery, Chris can't even copy bad porn to save his life, with Rosechu turning into a deformed monstrosity in each panel, all for the sake of [[Chris and sex|sex]]. Especially noticeable is the final picture, which shows off a recurring trend in his pictures: the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages", in which Chris draws the "[[cum]]" from the woman ''around'' and ''outside'' the vagina instead of from the inside, leading it to have a "glowing" effect.

While all the following images are obviously (bad) Reflecta Sketch tracings of Rule 34 pictures that Chris himself loaded on to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Encycapeeya Dramakka Paysh]], it's not clear whether or not all his other porn drawings are also tracings. It's likely that they are, and the source material Chris stole those from is just not as blatantly obvious.

=== Rule 34 (tracing) gallery ===

<center><gallery>
Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 2.JPG
Image:chrischantraced3.jpg
Image:Chris-chan Traced 4.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 5.JPG
</gallery></center>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:441-CubScoutShield.JPG
Image:442-HedgehogShark1.JPG
Image:443-HedgehogShark2.JPG
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG
Image:446-CWCWeave.JPG
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG
Image:448-CWCWigwam.JPG
Image:449-CWCDreamCatcher.JPG
Image:450-HedgehogFish1.JPG
Image:451-HedgehogFish2.JPG
Image:452-CWCsBunchOfArt.jpg
Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG
Image:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG
Image:459-CWCsBanjo.JPG
Image:460-CWCsComputerGraphicsPoster.JPG
Image:463-SonicAndTailsBunch.jpg
Image:464-CWCSpeckle.jpg
Image:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG
Image:466-CWCNecklace.jpg
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG
Image:472-CWCWingCapDish.JPG
Image:473-YarnPot.JPG
Image:474-SquarePot.JPG
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG
Image:477-PastelDuoPic.JPG
Image:478-PastelHorses.JPG
Image:479-PastelSunset.JPG
Image:482-SwirlingEspanolics.JPG
Image:483-RainbowLeaf.JPG
Image:484-MergingPeople.JPG
Image:485-CWCsF.JPG
Image:486-CWCcatchesaPikachu.JPG
Image:487-CWCMergedinArt.jpg
Image:488-100_0521.JPG
Image:489-100_0522.JPG
Image:490-100_0523.JPG
Image:491-100 0524.JPG
Image:492-100 0525.JPG
Image:493-100 0526.JPG
Image:494-100 0527.JPG
Image:495-100 0528.JPG
Image:496-100 0529.JPG
Image:497-100 0530.JPG
Image:498-100 0531.JPG
Image:499-100 0532.JPG
Image:500-100 0533.JPG
Image:501-100 0534.JPG
Image:503-100 0537.JPG
Image:504-100 0538.JPG
Image:505-100 0539.JPG
Image:506-100 0540.JPG
</gallery></center>

==TL;DR==
Chris is an anti-artist.
== Sauces ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

File:Marker Section.jpg

2010-01-29T07:02:35Z

Allen Longbolt: The Crayola marker section of a certain national arts and crafts store.

The Crayola marker section of a certain national arts and crafts store.

Chris and copyright

2010-01-27T11:54:46Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Use of copyright notices */

[[Image:SonichuCertificate.jpg|thumb|Chris's copyright registration certificate]]
{{Quote|...anyone using my characters and all Without My Consent are Criminals, and such people should be reported to the Police immediately.|[[Chris]]|[[CWCipedia]]'s Copyright page}}

Like with many things, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a very obscure idea of what '''copyright''' entails. He believes that all copyrighting something involves is [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|<nowiki>[putting]</nowiki> a little C-In-A-Circle and <nowiki>[his]</nowiki> John Hancock]].

Chris doesn't even know what a copyright ''is,'' legally speaking. He can't ''copyright'' [[Sonichu]], but he could '''trademark''' Sonichu. He could copyright individual works using Sonichu. Too bad he doesn't know anything about anything.

== Sonichu as a copyrightable work ==
[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Crooks!]]
In Chris's mind, it's perfectly reasonable to take two very popular fictitious characters and mash them both together in a [[Fail|failtastic]] [[rainbow]] of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|incestous]] [[Sonichu|electric]] [[Rosechu|rodents]]. This means you've created a completely new thing, and therefore are entitled to the rights of said "Original Characters" regardless of how crappy, ''un''original and disgusting they may be.

Here in real life, however, any work that uses ''previously copyrighted work'' as a basis is a derivative work; this means that while it can be copyrighted by the creator, it cannot be published without permission of the original copyright holders. There are very specific exceptions to this rule. One way to avoid this is to simply not use too much of the previous work's material to begin with: complete works or significant portions of them are copyrightable, but you ''can'' steal general vague ideas as much as you want (and Chris is stealing way too much to qualify for this). Another would be Fair Use: use the copyrighted work to provide criticism, journalistic or educational information, or parody (of which more later). In short, Chris has no excuse.

Moreover, any attempt to argue that Sonichu is not a derivative work would be entirely self-demolishing. Sonichu is ''explicitly'' stated to be a fusion of two existing characters, both by Chris as its creator and in the comic story itself. Chris has worked the fact that the two original characters were merged into Sonichu's backstory and the Sonichuverse in general. His process of incorporating copyrighted properties into his works is both ''unabashed'' and ''deep-rooted''. He ''can't'' talk his way out of this.

Apparently, the idea of Sonichu being a publishable work stems way back into the character's creation. According to [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Chris's]] [[Sonichu (character)|"autobiography"]], when Chris ended up backed into a corner as to what to put onto a CD cover, he decided to fuse Sonic and Pikachu, whom he couldn't use because of they were copyrighted characters, and turn them into Sonichu. When his teacher accepted the portmanteau character, Chris automatically assumed that he was free to create his multimedia empire from them. In [[Father Call|call with Kacey's father]], he also says his father said he had been in the clear with the beginning as far as copyright is concerned.

So let's remember that Chris is so [[naive]] that he would treat the advice of his high-school teacher as if it were the law of the land.

== Chris as an enforcer of rights ==
[[Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|thumb|right|Don't look right into their eyes.]]
Chris is very paranoid regarding his copyright, and will frequently [[CWC Public Disclaimer|hand out all of his personal information to complete strangers]] if he thinks it is being contested. This has backfired in a plethora of astounding ways.

Chris has encouraged people to report copyright infringements to the police. The police, unfortunately, can't do much when random citizens report ''civil offenses'' such as copyright infringement. Even if Chris ''had'' the rights to the works in question, suing people for copyright infringement would be Chris's job and his job alone, or that of a representative whom he has specifically appointed to that specific task.

Unsurprisingly, Chris is a total and complete hypocrite when it comes to abusing the work of other creators. In the span of nine issues, Chris pulls characters and concepts from numerous franchises and even goes so far as to steal "original" characters from [[trolls|fans]] and [[sweethearts]] without an ounce of due respect to their creators. It's easy to say that, if Chris were to make money off Sonichu ''somehow'', he could easily be sued by those who created the characters he stole.

Even worse, Chris refuses to listen to anyone, especially the original creators of his "original" characters, when they know Chris has done wrong. The best example would be the ever-continuing fight between [[Evan]] and Chris over the character [[Simonla]]. When Evan demanded that Chris remove Simonla from the comics in an on-screen death, Chris refused because ''it would take Wild Sonichu's girlfriend away''. That's right: Chris refuses to remove a character because of a meaningless throw-away relationship between minor characters.

===Copyright registration===
It appears that Chris has actually paid $45, and somehow got [http://cocatalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?v1=1&ti=1,1&Search%5FArg=Sonichu&Search%5FCode=TALL&CNT=10&PID=ZvDUHHsi-vkzrRWQU2p5oLpU7yxe&SEQ=20091106120549&SID=1 Sonichu approved by The United States Copyright Office]. In 12 November 2009, he also posted a scan of the confirmation letter he received to [[CWCipedia]] and posted a highly predictable [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|my-heart-level-just-went-to-100%-again video]].

Psychologically, this copyright registration represents a big win for Chris, because it gives him what he thinks are bragging rights ''even'' though he has no idea what the copyright registration ''actually'' means. In his confused state, receiving a registration from the US Copyright Office means that he has been right the whole time and now he ''officially'' has all imaginable intellectual property rights regarding his character and creations. In his mind, he now has the right and the power to tell everybody how Sonichu may or may not be used. The most annoying thing about this is that unless Chris actually sues someone or someone sues Chris, we can't make him shut up about it - the state of intellectual property legislation is such that people can make all sorts of weird assertions ("I patented forks and knives ''when used over the Internet''"), and if someone's wrong, that is up for the courts to settle.

Now, here in reality, copyright registration is not an official ''recognition'' of copyright. It is an officially registered ''assertion'' that a person or company has created a specific work at specific date. Every new work automatically has copyright whether it's registered or not. The registration of copyright is only required if you're suing people for copyright infringement. One party asserts that a work has been created at one time, another party has used the work at another time, and then it's up to a judge to decide who is in the right. If Nintendo or Sega sues Chris, they can easily demonstrate that they've held the rights to original characters like Sonic and Pikachu and Chris's work is derivative. More important, Chris does ''not'' have a trademark on Sonichu; he has never had it, and this registration doesn't have anything to do with trademark rights.

We know Chris messed the registration up, but the sad thing is that without complete documentation of exactly what he submitted, we may never know exactly ''how'' badly Chris messed this up. The documentation Chris published doesn't show exactly what he submitted. The application appears to be for "digital files", which is probably to say specific image files, created in 2000. (We'd need actual documents, because Chris will probably say that he has ''official'' copyright on a ''character'' he created in 2000 and babble some more confused nonsense.) It's also possible that he has submitted files that ''weren't'' created in 2000, and he's just insisting that the ''character'' was created at that time. These kinds of distinctions and little details can be extremely important in court of law.

'''IN SHORT:''' Chris's copyright registration doesn't mean his comics are non-infringing.

=== Use of copyright notices ===
The way he maintains his so-called copyrights within his works is also baffling. It's possible Chris goes by the assumption that almost everything he draws must contain copious amounts of copyright notices, usually in the form of this disclaimer, written in large cursive any third-grader would be embarrassed to maintain (pity any poor bank employee who must look at his checks);

{{quote|© Christian Weston Chandler, March 2000-????}}

However, only '''daily''' newspaper comic strips have constant notices reminding about copyright due to their daily nature, and usually these notices are edited out of strip compilation books for basic aesthetic purposes. In most forms of media throughout the world, one copyright notice at the beginning of the work is enough to assert rights, and only the year is noted in a copyright notice. However the way his copyrights are drawn, they are not in the traditional 'mouse type' which is unobtrusive to most readers, but in large written letters which distract incredibly from his work.

Finally, the year of the creation of a certain work, not the year it was created, is what should be noted in the copyright; for example [[Sonichu 10]] should be "''© 2009-2010 CWC''" (abbreviations are allowed in notices), '''not''' the example listed above. Going by this, if a copyright lawyer was hired by Chris in an attempt to maintain his copyrights, it would be questioned and likely Chris would lose his case because the date of copyright and release were conflicting and incorrect.

===Chris's motivations===
Chris doesn't really understand what his copyright registration means and what it might or might not be good for, practically speaking. To him, it's mainly just a crutch for his ego. In the aftermath of his feud with [[Liquid Chris]], he sees it as the final and clinching proof that he himself is the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu. On 26 November 2009, he posted the following as part of an announcement on [[CWCipedia]], which is quite illuminating:

{{quotebox|Also, I have been thinking, although all Sonichu "Merchandise" sold online in the past I have labeled false; I did that, because it came as a surprise to me then, I felt outraged appropriately (most everyone can relate to that; it's comparable to if Godzilla or Clover came to YOUR Metropolis and suddenly attacked your city). I realize now that even though it is still considerably Not Official, it all still is an homage to my creation. So I will make it clear to ALL those Vendors.

As long as it is NOT printed copies of my books' pages, or bootlegged copies of my "Christian Weston Chandler, Yep, I'm On T.V." DVD, AND As Long As I am quoted on ALL websites' and vendors' locations as Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all of such, I, Christian Weston Chandler, approve of such merchandise from Day Forward. At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera and such.

I have spoken, and I wish everyone a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

--ChrisChanSonichu 02:17, 26 November 2009 (CET) }}

Translated from the jackass, he's saying that he doesn't actually understand or care about the legal and economic ramifications of other people using his supposed intellectual property, so long as he's the one that gets the credit, not some impostor in brown stripes. Money isn't as important to him as his precious e-fame.

==Chris's views==
{{main|Parody}}
Chris is VERY protective of his characters. Well, as protective as an autistic manchild could be to such unoriginal monstrosities. Chris believes that his characters are officially parodies, thus, he is allowed to create his multimedia empire on a legal loophole. What Chris fails to realize that is that parodies are essentially just mockeries of something they're based on, done for laughs or as a commentary on the original work.

Some examples: [[Wikipedia:"Weird Al" Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic's]] songs are considered parodies; note, however, that he obtains permission from artists whose songs he covers, going through the necessary legal process to make his work. He also does his own work, including pastiche of artists' styles, and impressively so, with a Devo frontman commenting that Weird Al's [[Transformers|"Dare to Be Stupid"]] encompassed his entire body of works in one gag tune. It's a known fact that Yankovic actually has one of the tightest, most competent legal team in music to make sure his parodies don't get him in legal trouble down the road. [[Wikipedia:Mel Brooks|Mel Brooks's]] works are considered parodies, but his most famous parodies either use works from the public domain (such as ''Young Frankenstein,'' based on the novel and done in the ''style of'' classic Frankenstein films) or cover similar plot points without actually lifting characters. Likewise, the creators of another famous parody, ''Airplane!'', acquired the rights to a film they were very closely parodying so there would be no legal trouble. Works that "parody" scenes by copying them verbatim, like ''Scary Movie'' or [[Family Guy|a certain animated sitcom]], are usually looked down upon for simply relying on [[Random Access Humor|constant references]] in lieu of actually parodying the original work.

Sonichu and Rosechu are ''not'' parodies, just shitty recolors. As mentioned on the "parody" page, Chris doesn't mean to make fun of the characters they're based on, he slavishly imitates the kind of adventures they have in an attempt to tell his own stories. The stories he makes aren't commentaries on the style or message or story of Sonic or Pokémon; he simply lifts elements and characters wholesale in lieu of creating his own world. Even his most original characters are either based on [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|someone he knows]] or [[Flame the Sunbird|are cribbed extensively from existing characters]]. He might be able to claim a trademark on Flame the Sunbird, of all characters, because he's merely relentlessly derivative as opposed to stolen wholesale. The non-Chris-Chan core of the comics, though, most certainly cannot.

Regardless of how much claim he's ''really'' entitled to, Chris will make a great deal of noise about protecting his work when he feels it is being threatened. Whenever he finds his work being used elsewhere without his permission, he ends up demanding that the offending work be taken down within 14 days or he will pursue legal action, sometimes accompanied by a picture of Chris and Sonichu glaring at the offender as if they can actually ''do'' something. Thus far, there is no evidence of Chris actually pursuing legal action against anyone.

With the use of Sonichu, the Chaotic Combo and Chris himself in the [[Asperchu]] comics, Chris has used a brand new method to get his characters away from others - by [[death threats]].

== See also ==

*[[CChanSonichuCWC]]
*[[Jimmy Hill]]
*[[Parody]]
*[[Asperchu]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and copyright

2010-01-27T11:53:41Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Copyright registration */ new section about copyright notices

[[Image:SonichuCertificate.jpg|thumb|Chris's copyright registration certificate]]
{{Quote|...anyone using my characters and all Without My Consent are Criminals, and such people should be reported to the Police immediately.|[[Chris]]|[[CWCipedia]]'s Copyright page}}

Like with many things, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a very obscure idea of what '''copyright''' entails. He believes that all copyrighting something involves is [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|<nowiki>[putting]</nowiki> a little C-In-A-Circle and <nowiki>[his]</nowiki> John Hancock]].

Chris doesn't even know what a copyright ''is,'' legally speaking. He can't ''copyright'' [[Sonichu]], but he could '''trademark''' Sonichu. He could copyright individual works using Sonichu. Too bad he doesn't know anything about anything.

== Sonichu as a copyrightable work ==
[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Crooks!]]
In Chris's mind, it's perfectly reasonable to take two very popular fictitious characters and mash them both together in a [[Fail|failtastic]] [[rainbow]] of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|incestous]] [[Sonichu|electric]] [[Rosechu|rodents]]. This means you've created a completely new thing, and therefore are entitled to the rights of said "Original Characters" regardless of how crappy, ''un''original and disgusting they may be.

Here in real life, however, any work that uses ''previously copyrighted work'' as a basis is a derivative work; this means that while it can be copyrighted by the creator, it cannot be published without permission of the original copyright holders. There are very specific exceptions to this rule. One way to avoid this is to simply not use too much of the previous work's material to begin with: complete works or significant portions of them are copyrightable, but you ''can'' steal general vague ideas as much as you want (and Chris is stealing way too much to qualify for this). Another would be Fair Use: use the copyrighted work to provide criticism, journalistic or educational information, or parody (of which more later). In short, Chris has no excuse.

Moreover, any attempt to argue that Sonichu is not a derivative work would be entirely self-demolishing. Sonichu is ''explicitly'' stated to be a fusion of two existing characters, both by Chris as its creator and in the comic story itself. Chris has worked the fact that the two original characters were merged into Sonichu's backstory and the Sonichuverse in general. His process of incorporating copyrighted properties into his works is both ''unabashed'' and ''deep-rooted''. He ''can't'' talk his way out of this.

Apparently, the idea of Sonichu being a publishable work stems way back into the character's creation. According to [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Chris's]] [[Sonichu (character)|"autobiography"]], when Chris ended up backed into a corner as to what to put onto a CD cover, he decided to fuse Sonic and Pikachu, whom he couldn't use because of they were copyrighted characters, and turn them into Sonichu. When his teacher accepted the portmanteau character, Chris automatically assumed that he was free to create his multimedia empire from them. In [[Father Call|call with Kacey's father]], he also says his father said he had been in the clear with the beginning as far as copyright is concerned.

So let's remember that Chris is so [[naive]] that he would treat the advice of his high-school teacher as if it were the law of the land.

== Chris as an enforcer of rights ==
[[Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|thumb|right|Don't look right into their eyes.]]
Chris is very paranoid regarding his copyright, and will frequently [[CWC Public Disclaimer|hand out all of his personal information to complete strangers]] if he thinks it is being contested. This has backfired in a plethora of astounding ways.

Chris has encouraged people to report copyright infringements to the police. The police, unfortunately, can't do much when random citizens report ''civil offenses'' such as copyright infringement. Even if Chris ''had'' the rights to the works in question, suing people for copyright infringement would be Chris's job and his job alone, or that of a representative whom he has specifically appointed to that specific task.

Unsurprisingly, Chris is a total and complete hypocrite when it comes to abusing the work of other creators. In the span of nine issues, Chris pulls characters and concepts from numerous franchises and even goes so far as to steal "original" characters from [[trolls|fans]] and [[sweethearts]] without an ounce of due respect to their creators. It's easy to say that, if Chris were to make money off Sonichu ''somehow'', he could easily be sued by those who created the characters he stole.

Even worse, Chris refuses to listen to anyone, especially the original creators of his "original" characters, when they know Chris has done wrong. The best example would be the ever-continuing fight between [[Evan]] and Chris over the character [[Simonla]]. When Evan demanded that Chris remove Simonla from the comics in an on-screen death, Chris refused because ''it would take Wild Sonichu's girlfriend away''. That's right: Chris refuses to remove a character because of a meaningless throw-away relationship between minor characters.

===Copyright registration===
It appears that Chris has actually paid $45, and somehow got [http://cocatalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?v1=1&ti=1,1&Search%5FArg=Sonichu&Search%5FCode=TALL&CNT=10&PID=ZvDUHHsi-vkzrRWQU2p5oLpU7yxe&SEQ=20091106120549&SID=1 Sonichu approved by The United States Copyright Office]. In 12 November 2009, he also posted a scan of the confirmation letter he received to [[CWCipedia]] and posted a highly predictable [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|my-heart-level-just-went-to-100%-again video]].

Psychologically, this copyright registration represents a big win for Chris, because it gives him what he thinks are bragging rights ''even'' though he has no idea what the copyright registration ''actually'' means. In his confused state, receiving a registration from the US Copyright Office means that he has been right the whole time and now he ''officially'' has all imaginable intellectual property rights regarding his character and creations. In his mind, he now has the right and the power to tell everybody how Sonichu may or may not be used. The most annoying thing about this is that unless Chris actually sues someone or someone sues Chris, we can't make him shut up about it - the state of intellectual property legislation is such that people can make all sorts of weird assertions ("I patented forks and knives ''when used over the Internet''"), and if someone's wrong, that is up for the courts to settle.

Now, here in reality, copyright registration is not an official ''recognition'' of copyright. It is an officially registered ''assertion'' that a person or company has created a specific work at specific date. Every new work automatically has copyright whether it's registered or not. The registration of copyright is only required if you're suing people for copyright infringement. One party asserts that a work has been created at one time, another party has used the work at another time, and then it's up to a judge to decide who is in the right. If Nintendo or Sega sues Chris, they can easily demonstrate that they've held the rights to original characters like Sonic and Pikachu and Chris's work is derivative. More important, Chris does ''not'' have a trademark on Sonichu; he has never had it, and this registration doesn't have anything to do with trademark rights.

We know Chris messed the registration up, but the sad thing is that without complete documentation of exactly what he submitted, we may never know exactly ''how'' badly Chris messed this up. The documentation Chris published doesn't show exactly what he submitted. The application appears to be for "digital files", which is probably to say specific image files, created in 2000. (We'd need actual documents, because Chris will probably say that he has ''official'' copyright on a ''character'' he created in 2000 and babble some more confused nonsense.) It's also possible that he has submitted files that ''weren't'' created in 2000, and he's just insisting that the ''character'' was created at that time. These kinds of distinctions and little details can be extremely important in court of law.

'''IN SHORT:''' Chris's copyright registration doesn't mean his comics are non-infringing.

=== Use of copyright notices ===
The way he maintains his so-called copyrights within his works is also baffling. It's possible Chris goes by the assumption that almost everything he draws must contain copious amounts of copyright notices, usually in the form of this disclaimer, written in large cursive any third-grader would be embarrassed to maintain (pity any poor bank employee who must look at his checks);

{{quote|© Christian Weston Chandler, March 2000-????}}

However, only '''daily''' newspaper comic strips have constant notices reminding about copyright due to their daily nature, and usually these notices are edited out of strip compilation books for basic aesthetic purposes. In most forms of media throughout the world, one copyright notice at the beginning of the work is enough to assert rights, and only the year is noted in a copyright notice. However the way his copyrights are drawn, they are not in the traditional 'mouse type' which is unobtrusive to most readers, but in large written letters which distract incredibly from his work.

Finally, the year of the creation of a certain work, not the year it was created, is what should be noted in the copyright; for example [[Sonichu 10]] should be ''© 2009-2010 CWC'' (abbreviations are allowed in notices), '''not''' the example listed above. Going by this, if a copyright lawyer was hired by Chris in an attempt to maintain his copyrights, it would be questioned and likely Chris would lose his case because the date of copyright and release were conflicting and incorrect

===Chris's motivations===
Chris doesn't really understand what his copyright registration means and what it might or might not be good for, practically speaking. To him, it's mainly just a crutch for his ego. In the aftermath of his feud with [[Liquid Chris]], he sees it as the final and clinching proof that he himself is the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu. On 26 November 2009, he posted the following as part of an announcement on [[CWCipedia]], which is quite illuminating:

{{quotebox|Also, I have been thinking, although all Sonichu "Merchandise" sold online in the past I have labeled false; I did that, because it came as a surprise to me then, I felt outraged appropriately (most everyone can relate to that; it's comparable to if Godzilla or Clover came to YOUR Metropolis and suddenly attacked your city). I realize now that even though it is still considerably Not Official, it all still is an homage to my creation. So I will make it clear to ALL those Vendors.

As long as it is NOT printed copies of my books' pages, or bootlegged copies of my "Christian Weston Chandler, Yep, I'm On T.V." DVD, AND As Long As I am quoted on ALL websites' and vendors' locations as Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all of such, I, Christian Weston Chandler, approve of such merchandise from Day Forward. At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera and such.

I have spoken, and I wish everyone a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

--ChrisChanSonichu 02:17, 26 November 2009 (CET) }}

Translated from the jackass, he's saying that he doesn't actually understand or care about the legal and economic ramifications of other people using his supposed intellectual property, so long as he's the one that gets the credit, not some impostor in brown stripes. Money isn't as important to him as his precious e-fame.

==Chris's views==
{{main|Parody}}
Chris is VERY protective of his characters. Well, as protective as an autistic manchild could be to such unoriginal monstrosities. Chris believes that his characters are officially parodies, thus, he is allowed to create his multimedia empire on a legal loophole. What Chris fails to realize that is that parodies are essentially just mockeries of something they're based on, done for laughs or as a commentary on the original work.

Some examples: [[Wikipedia:"Weird Al" Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic's]] songs are considered parodies; note, however, that he obtains permission from artists whose songs he covers, going through the necessary legal process to make his work. He also does his own work, including pastiche of artists' styles, and impressively so, with a Devo frontman commenting that Weird Al's [[Transformers|"Dare to Be Stupid"]] encompassed his entire body of works in one gag tune. It's a known fact that Yankovic actually has one of the tightest, most competent legal team in music to make sure his parodies don't get him in legal trouble down the road. [[Wikipedia:Mel Brooks|Mel Brooks's]] works are considered parodies, but his most famous parodies either use works from the public domain (such as ''Young Frankenstein,'' based on the novel and done in the ''style of'' classic Frankenstein films) or cover similar plot points without actually lifting characters. Likewise, the creators of another famous parody, ''Airplane!'', acquired the rights to a film they were very closely parodying so there would be no legal trouble. Works that "parody" scenes by copying them verbatim, like ''Scary Movie'' or [[Family Guy|a certain animated sitcom]], are usually looked down upon for simply relying on [[Random Access Humor|constant references]] in lieu of actually parodying the original work.

Sonichu and Rosechu are ''not'' parodies, just shitty recolors. As mentioned on the "parody" page, Chris doesn't mean to make fun of the characters they're based on, he slavishly imitates the kind of adventures they have in an attempt to tell his own stories. The stories he makes aren't commentaries on the style or message or story of Sonic or Pokémon; he simply lifts elements and characters wholesale in lieu of creating his own world. Even his most original characters are either based on [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|someone he knows]] or [[Flame the Sunbird|are cribbed extensively from existing characters]]. He might be able to claim a trademark on Flame the Sunbird, of all characters, because he's merely relentlessly derivative as opposed to stolen wholesale. The non-Chris-Chan core of the comics, though, most certainly cannot.

Regardless of how much claim he's ''really'' entitled to, Chris will make a great deal of noise about protecting his work when he feels it is being threatened. Whenever he finds his work being used elsewhere without his permission, he ends up demanding that the offending work be taken down within 14 days or he will pursue legal action, sometimes accompanied by a picture of Chris and Sonichu glaring at the offender as if they can actually ''do'' something. Thus far, there is no evidence of Chris actually pursuing legal action against anyone.

With the use of Sonichu, the Chaotic Combo and Chris himself in the [[Asperchu]] comics, Chris has used a brand new method to get his characters away from others - by [[death threats]].

== See also ==

*[[CChanSonichuCWC]]
*[[Jimmy Hill]]
*[[Parody]]
*[[Asperchu]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Jerkop

2010-01-24T02:26:39Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Police? */

[[Image:JerkopFullProfile.png|thumb|A REAL AMERICAN HERO]]
A [[Jerkop]] is either a mall security guard or an "evil" policeman. The word itself is a portmanteau of "[[JERKS|Jerk]]" and "Cop".

In the comics, an agent of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Jerkops are not seen much outside of the [[Sub-Episodes]].

==Appearance==
[[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|left|Jerkops in a [[2004]] short]]

Jerkops are depicted as even more simplified than the other background characters in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies, and appear to be robotic, possibly being mass-produced.

According to the [[CWCkipedia]], there are three types of jerkops. The basic ones are the usual white-shirted ones, mostly seen in the comics. A higher-up level version are ones donning red uniforms. The final level are the brown-uniformed ones, who are either [[Jerkhief]]s or a Jerkop Daitenzen, such as [[Bagget]].

==Police?==
[[Image:ECP_00025.jpg|thumb|Fuck da police!]]
{{quote|And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!|Chris displays his irrational hatred for the Vice Squad, ''[[Sonichu 5]]'', page 28}}

While a common misconception is that [[Chris]] is essentially delivering a verbose "Fuck the Police", he clarifies in ''[[Sonichu 5]]'' that [[Niggos|brown]] is wrong, and the standard blue and black are [[Fail|TRUE AND HONEST]]. Ergo, while he loathes mall security for preventing him from [[Attraction Sign|soliciting]], the cops that have real guns and beat black people on the side of the road are A-OK. Just like with [[homosexuality]] - Chris decided to vilify those that dare see differently from him.

You'd think that Chris would recall that BEFORE, he said that ALL cops were good as long as they were wearing blue and black. However, because [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]], a real police officer, arrested Chris (for completely legitimate reasons), he is suddenly not a TRUE and HONEST police officer. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay if they wear blue and black and don't try to arrest him for breaking the law. So let's guess that he doesn't take kindly to state troopers, county sheriffs and park rangers, who usually are associated wearing brown but have equal police power to those who wear blue and black.

Of note, police in [[CWCville]] are probably extremely inept. Not once have they appeared in the fight against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] or the Jerkops, with the exception of ''Sonichu 5'' (where Chris orders them away almost instantly). More than likely, the TRUE police probably don't give a shit about CWC's vendetta, and are hanging with [[Yawning Squirtle]] somewhere.

==Equipment==

{{quote|MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS|[[Jerkhief]], on his appetizer at [[Country Cookin]]}}

Jerkops, in order to cockblock everyone, are equipped with faux badges, evidently made of crackers, [[Semen|glitter glue]], and treebark. What purpose these serve is unknown, as [[Chris|no one]] would be so [[Autistic|retarded]] to fall for such a shoddy disguise.
[[Image:Freudiangun.jpg|right|thumb|A pistol cleverly disguised as a [[penis|duck]].]]
In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry an out-of-date breadstick, aka "a nightstick," pulled from nowhere, and one was carrying handcuffs in ''[[Sonichu 4]]''. The [[Jerkhief]] carries a [[Fail|metallic slingshot]], aka "a handgun," and sometimes wears a metal suit. The most heavily armed Jerkop is the [[W-M-Manajerk]], utilizing a [[Anime|giant shell of robotic armor]] along with a golden axe.

==Weaknesses==
[[Image:Cwckicktothenads.JPG|center|thumb|300px|This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO]]
As demonstrated above, the best way to reduce those who get in the way of you violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is [[CWC Fighter|a good kick]] in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "Sourdough region". The lowest levels of Jerkops require only a single kick to this region, while higher-level Jerkops such as the [[Jerkhief]] may require as many as five kicks, because the fat absorbs the impact.

==Creation of a Jerkop==

According to the CWCkipedia, Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Yram]]'s school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College", unknowingly. Upon entering the school for the first day, they are infected with "brainwashing powder" that affect them unconsciously. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing to send them out to help cockblock Chris.

In [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|earlier documentation]], Chris made clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and others of [[Christian Weston Chandler|lesser intelligence]]. It wasn't until ''[[Sonichu 9]]'' where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his Electric Hedgehogs have managed to actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|''kill'']] several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.

==Appearances in comic==
*[[Sonichu_0#Sub-Episode_1:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Jerkop-tastropie.22|Sonichu 0 Sub-Episode 1:Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-Tastrophe"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_6:_.22Christian_Chandler.27s_Backyard_Safari.22|Sonichu 4 Sub Episode 6: Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 7: Off-Target]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_part_2.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 8: Off-Target part 2]]

==Notable Jerkops==
*[[Jerkhief]]
*[[Bagget]]
*[[Punislav]]
*[[Officer Keino]]
*[[Officer Nasty]]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:146-Jerkop.jpg
</gallery>

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Jerkops|linkname=Jerkops}}
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Janekops|Janekops]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category: Villains]]

Death threats

2010-01-23T11:42:58Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Liquid Chris */

[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]
Contrary to his claims of kindness and patience, [[Chris]] often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die, often as horribly as possible. These '''death threats''' have become increasingly common in recent months.

==Means of delivery==

On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]s. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood are delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, [[Chris and anger|raging]] into a camera is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is.

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of rage has steadily grown over months and years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While at one point it was a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of 2009 and early 2010 Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis. The people he has wished this grisly fate upon are listed are follows.

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] day 2009, Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[Homos|homosexual]] ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos,[[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]] and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy, the Sonichu comics. In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris trapped Jack and Clyde on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent garbage]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves, compromising the building's structural integrity, and effectively dooming everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft, rather than be crushed under the rubble, proving once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]
The creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED page]] that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|Sonichu 8]], where Chris depicted him being slashed, electrocuted and ''face raped''. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers". Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with a [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris "subtly" expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] in his murder plot. God and Jesus have yet to respond.

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL<br>JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash|someone]] Chris thought was him.

{{quote|[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!|Chris, who, according to himself, "wasn't in a sound state of mind" at the time.}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===[[Liquid Chris]]===

Chris had made a number of videos raging against the real Chris, but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to boyfriends.]]

Chris's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Chris manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear...

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Chris reused this exact same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Chris depicts Liquid as a knife wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Chris produces a handgun (possibly [[Transformers|Decepticon]] leader Megatron in disguise), shoots Liquid in both his shins and leaves him to bleed to death, which is widely regarded in both the unwritten rules of war and [[Jerkops|maintaining law and order]] as dishonorable and a coward's way to end a conflict.

When [[Kacey]] expressed horror at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Chris missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep him from chasing them; completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone in the first place is off-putting, as is a desire to cripple someone for life.

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of his wrath", Chris [[Sign Destruction Video|opted to use a visual aid]]. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll|clown doll]] and a wooden spike.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and [[Clown Doll|bite off their hats]].

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter.]]

Vivian recently revealed in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onov29D4lKc a YouTube video] that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have a Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

Chris later [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cf2UM76sDU apologized for the threatening message]. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===[[Clyde Cash]]===
[[Image:Chris-Chan by XantheStar.jpg|thumb|Chris on the subject of Clyde.]]
{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], Clyde Cash has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive all by itself. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or at least demands their deaths relatively infrequently. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Recently, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon have taken on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[Dirty crapped briefs|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, Immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in order to (so he thinks) avoid copyright infringement and build his character into a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9th, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki, or [[Asperpedia]], started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who has shown him respect. While most of the other [[Trolls|individuals]] Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications with Chris have expressed nothing but admiration for him. The only reasons Chris seems to have for hating Alec is that his Character is overweight and his website runs on the same Mediawiki software.

A few days later Chris claimed in a the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]] that he knew where Alec lived. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog Patti maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his Adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]]. Clearly Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be.

===[[Evan]] and Mao===
Chris included Evan and Mao, two of Leary's partners in the creation of Asperpedia, in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec.

==See also==
*[[Chris and anger]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o8ACyrFwE0 A Chris-Chan Silent Short]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Death threats

2010-01-23T11:41:54Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Liquid Chris */

[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]
Contrary to his claims of kindness and patience, [[Chris]] often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die, often as horribly as possible. These '''death threats''' have become increasingly common in recent months.

==Means of delivery==

On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]s. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood are delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, [[Chris and anger|raging]] into a camera is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is.

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of rage has steadily grown over months and years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While at one point it was a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of 2009 and early 2010 Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis. The people he has wished this grisly fate upon are listed are follows.

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] day 2009, Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[Homos|homosexual]] ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos,[[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]] and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy, the Sonichu comics. In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris trapped Jack and Clyde on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent garbage]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves, compromising the building's structural integrity, and effectively dooming everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft, rather than be crushed under the rubble, proving once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]
The creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED page]] that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|Sonichu 8]], where Chris depicted him being slashed, electrocuted and ''face raped''. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers". Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with a [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris "subtly" expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] in his murder plot. God and Jesus have yet to respond.

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL<br>JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash|someone]] Chris thought was him.

{{quote|[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!|Chris, who, according to himself, "wasn't in a sound state of mind" at the time.}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===[[Liquid Chris]]===

Chris had made a number of videos raging against the real Chris, but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to boyfriends.]]

Chris's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Chris manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear...

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Chris reused this exact same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Chris depicts Liquid as a knife wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Chris produces a handgun (possibly [[Transformers|Decepticon]] leader Megatron in disguise), shoots Liquid in both his shins and leaves him to bleed to death, which is widely regarded in both war and [[Jerkops|maintaining law and order]] as a coward's way out of a fight and dishonorable.

When [[Kacey]] expressed horror at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Chris missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep him from chasing them; completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone in the first place is off-putting, as is a desire to cripple someone for life.

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of his wrath", Chris [[Sign Destruction Video|opted to use a visual aid]]. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll|clown doll]] and a wooden spike.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and [[Clown Doll|bite off their hats]].

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter.]]

Vivian recently revealed in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onov29D4lKc a YouTube video] that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have a Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

Chris later [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cf2UM76sDU apologized for the threatening message]. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===[[Clyde Cash]]===
[[Image:Chris-Chan by XantheStar.jpg|thumb|Chris on the subject of Clyde.]]
{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], Clyde Cash has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive all by itself. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or at least demands their deaths relatively infrequently. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Recently, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon have taken on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[Dirty crapped briefs|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, Immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in order to (so he thinks) avoid copyright infringement and build his character into a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9th, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki, or [[Asperpedia]], started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who has shown him respect. While most of the other [[Trolls|individuals]] Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications with Chris have expressed nothing but admiration for him. The only reasons Chris seems to have for hating Alec is that his Character is overweight and his website runs on the same Mediawiki software.

A few days later Chris claimed in a the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]] that he knew where Alec lived. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog Patti maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his Adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]]. Clearly Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be.

===[[Evan]] and Mao===
Chris included Evan and Mao, two of Leary's partners in the creation of Asperpedia, in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec.

==See also==
*[[Chris and anger]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o8ACyrFwE0 A Chris-Chan Silent Short]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Sonichu 10

2010-01-20T05:41:46Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities */ accuracy tweaks

[[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|thumb|Finalized issue cover, from [[July 2009]].]]

[[Sonichu 10]] is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]].

==Background==
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|October 9, 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed.

In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa October 14, 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "time void" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until <i>after</i> #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu 9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on Sonichu and Rosechu. If he intends to use the material he's already published, he'll be breaking his promise within the first page.

Another continuity error in the comic is that Chris is wearing an orange shirt, even though he was wearing the classic red and blue-striped shirt when he entered the Time Void.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==

{{Ongoing}}
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named Lovely Weather. Chris then goes on to reveal that he tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self, and then fucked his future wife while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for homosexuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn Reldnahc back into Naitsirhc, whose one true love, [[Kel]] (?!) is worried sick about. He entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the <s>Sonichu Balls</s> Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse for him, restoring his virginity!) Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the usage of his real-life problems today: He calls out to Allison Amber and BILLY MAYS (apparently the couple here) to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his PS3, [[Guitar Hero]] and the instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other 5 Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at 4-Cent Garbage's HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells Blake and Punchy to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild in on the action. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]].

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
Chris, first, makes a stop a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (it says it was hosted by Tripod, one of the original websites where he hosted his stuff). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound... until the Devil Trolls emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The troll's flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, [[fail|as best he can]], the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed [[Brutal Legend]], though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He than proceeds to Teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs <s>Chaos</s> Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building (Why?!), erects a barrier around the building and <i>blows it up!</i> He, then, claims that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, then burns down the bridge to Tripod (as he claims), then proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, whose revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, then to set up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation.

Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a [[PlayStation 3]] to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of LittleBigPlanet for Wii or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his Guitar Hero guitar. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong.

With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power.

Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris putts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions).

Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl <i><b>"Jimmy!!"</b></i> Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something.

Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two Sonichus fight it out until the two of them hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the [[lies|completely non homoerotic]] phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, [[Son-Chu]], Sonichu, [[Blake]] and Wild arrive. As they set up their [[Guitar Hero]] gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]
The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel (who's suddenly alive), [[Clyde Cash]] (who's making his first official appearance in the comics) and [[Jack Thaddeus]] (who's making his first appearance here) warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. <strike>Chris, portraying</strike> Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, <strike>Chris portraying</strike> Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true <s>Americ</s>an heroes as <strike>Chris portrays them</strike> they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too drunk to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. [[fail|Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375.]] A memorial would be put up in the ruins and Encyclopedia Dramatica and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they ''probably'' had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.]]

[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on [[Women's rights|Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon]], Rosechu and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31|being Big Brother]]. Upon returning, Magi-Chan declares that testing on the vaccine is a success and that he brought the crates to the present and are sending them across on trucks. It is said that one Feburary 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be called [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]]. He also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female from [[GodJesus]] and [[Fail|fall in love with Magi-Chan]].

All of a sudden, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a [[fail|fan of the comic series]]. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris, cheating on his future wife AGAIN. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

After taking the time to grovel at his fans for the past comic and begging them not to abandon him, he and Sonichu take the Sonichu Ball Crystal things and transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, Chris decides to go back to CWCVille, but tells Ultra Sonichu to head for RuleCWC with Darkbind Sonichu before heading for [[Asperchu|Minnesota]] and wait for him. Back in CWCVille, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. As Crystal comes to, Allison says that she's called the paramedics to look after her. For some reason Crystal refers to Christian as "Christopher", though it's not clear if this is meant to be some kind of sign between the siblings, or if Chris just forgot about his [[The Bear|name change]].

Meanwhile in RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. In "Da Cave", a stone breaks open and someone, possibly Clawdorf, realizes the Chaotic Crystals freed him... then asks how long he was out. That's right: the act of Chris and Sonichu activating their super forms allows a vaguely defined evil force to escape imprisonment. It's not like Chris and Sonichu ''needed'' to transform, either. The greatest threat to CWCville at the moment is Chris himself as he [[Twin Falling Towers|destroys various buildings]] with the power of [[fail|rock]]. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, who acts like the rest of the vapid Rosechus over what Darkbind did for her. This rescue complete, Ultra Sonichu races out, but not before he "coles" the window hatch.

In Minnesota, Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu hover over the house of Alec Benson Leary, and break in. Discovering Alec's computer (which is revealed to be a [[Hex_bawx|HEX BAWX]] "Pavillion"; note Chris's computer is an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion (computer)|HP Pavillion]]), Chris [[Chris and sex|inserts his finger]] into a USB port, then concentrates and rips off ''Shadow the Hedgehog'' by placing himself inside the computer. Once inside, Chris proceeds to delete all files within the Asperpedia, ban Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, the delete their accounts. He, then, steals a "better dating simulator" with the intention to modify it for PS3 use and escapes, planting another Lightning Bomb to blow up the HEX BAWX. While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room. While investigating the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu overhears people talking and, upon leaving, discovers Asperchu and his variation of the Chaotic Combo, whom are tired of his world's mall. Upon seeing him, the Sonichu and Rosechu start going off into a nearly god-like praise for the [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu. The malformed beasts then proceed to tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's and pushed homosexuality on them and that they had real names before Alec gave them the names of the Chaotic Combo. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure them of Asperger's, transforming them into Michael, Bobby, Kitty, Trisha, Whisp and Swift (all of whom will never appear again). Asperchu then turns into a muscle-bound Sonichu known as Mitch. As thanks, Sonichu tells them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free. As he does, Chris blows up the HEX BAWX.

===Reaction===

As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] <br><br><br>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke

2010-01-19T01:27:04Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Transcript */ background

[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|Chris's closing statement.]]
'''Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''' (officialy '''01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''') is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] in the early hours of 17 [[January 2010]]. After Chris finally changed his [[Chris and fashion|shirt]], he decided to read every page of [[Asperchu]] and give a critique of Alec's comic. Surprisingly, it's not very favorable, and Chris spends almost ten minutes whining about all of the things he doesn't like about it, including a lot of stuff that [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris does in his own comic]]. He then threatens Mao, Alec, and [[Evan]] (but for some reason, not [[Sonichu is Dead|Sean]]) with the terrible might of his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|pastor]] (who disapproved of [[Vivian Gee|Vivian's]] [[A_Girl_who_Brought_Down_the_World|book]]) and the [[Lies|FBI]]. One of Chris's major points in his argument is that he was set on fire in the comic, and calls it [[Nudes|"horrendous"]], apparently [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting somebody in the legs]] is perfectly fine though.

Chris also heavily implies that his [[Patti|dead dog]] is now some kind of evil spirit with the power to kill.

==Description==
{{quotebox|
Obvious C.W.C. Slanders/References: -BIG BELLY -Man Boobs -Goatee -Glasses -wears MY shirts -Patti-Clone -Unapproved Recreation of myself -SETS ME ON FIRE in Book C, Pages 29 and 30!!!

Graphic Nudity/Sexual Images: Book 0 Pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, Book A Pages 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29, Book B Pages 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, Book C Page 2

Homosexual References: Book 0 Pages 13, 14, 18, 20, 24, Book B Page 26, Book 1, Page 8, 9, 12, 14, 21

Non-Approved CWC/Sonichu Use/References: Book 0 Pages 19-24, Book B Pages 25-32, Book C and Book 1

Graphic Language: Book 0 Pages 3, 9, 12, 15, 17, 18, 24, Book A Pages 1, 7, 9, 13, 15, 17, 18, 20, 22, Book B Pages 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 18, 20, 28, Book C Pages 2, 3, 7, 19, 33 and Book 1

Anti-Religious: Books A and B }}

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke
| image = {{#ev:youtube|RdBB9q0oxQA}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 17 January 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Fanartn.PNG‎]] Fan Art
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] The Napoleon
| previous = [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]
| next = [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Current]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:pattysvengefulsoul.jpg|thumb|Patti will have your soul for dinner tonight]]
Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2010.

I am here at this point recording this video to make it perfectly clear. Although it was a bit of a mistake with that last video I made, but you know what? Regardless of that video, I did- I shouldn't have not have had to make such a video, because I can prove- I can just show ya'll the evidence, [''Chris grabs his camera and starts walking towards his TV.''] that I have just read through the entire bunch of pages of hi- of Alec's Asperchu. Unedited, all fresh from the website, organized by page number, in my playlist.

[''The camera shoots downwards, a list passes by it momentarily, before Chris's TV comes into focus. There appear to be an array of comic pages on screen, set against a continually changing [[South Park]] theme background.'']

First off, just to name a few things, there's an o- there are the obvious... sturdy slanders! [''The cover of Asperchu 0 comes into focus on the TV''] And obvious references to with I mean the [[Obesity|old Buddha belly]] that I [[Lie|used to have]], exaggerated manboobs, and even the [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]] I used to ha- I had one time. And he makes him- and he makes his Asperchu character wear nearly every [[Chris and fashion|shirt]] I wear. Nearly every shirt! And a crappy copy of a medal! My shirts.

[''The cover disappears, and Chris scrolls through the list of comics, finally picking a page in which a man is talking to a dog that really doesn't look anything like [[Patti]].'']

And then to make matters worse, he goes and be—sssmirches my old- my dog! By making a crap- by making a crappy flop- a crappy copy of my dog! My d- Patti will- Patti's- the spirit of Patti will [[Chris and religion|have his soul for dinner tonight]]! She will be haunting your [[Dreams|nightmares]], Mr. Leary.

[''Screen goes back to page selection, picking a page that has a picture of Asperchu's Take on [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]'']

And of course, even including the unapproved recreation of my charact- of my person within his pages, as you can see right here. You can find all these on his [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia].

[''screen returns to page select'']

That was issue C page 19, by the way.

[[Image:BurningManchild.jpg|thumb|He sets me on fire!]]

And then even worse! Starting on page C29 [''Chris selects the page with Metal Asperchu preventing Ian from shooting Asperchu''], he sets me on fire! He sets me on fire! [''Chris moves to the next page''] And in even worse, continues lettin' me be on fire on page 30! I swear, if that ain't the [[Gun Comic|most outrageous thing]] that he has ever done against me.

[''Back to page select.'']

But I could get- I could definitely reference a few more instances of where he actually is considering [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|peeing on himself]] within his own comic series. Starting with, of course, with a few from his first book [[Sonichu 8|of graphic nudity or sexual reference]] on page three of his 0 book. Even worse off, on page 10, and while he's in that Burger King! With all his goddamned homosexual references as well!

[''Chris shuffles through a variety of pages featuring the Asperchu date plot in book one. [[Fail|None of them contain any homosexual references]]. He then returns to the page select.'']

And he's done like a whole number of them I could read you a list off of. You can find these si- i- find such nude images on pa- on 0- book 0, pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, and book A, 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29. Book B, 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, AND book C, page 2! They put in so many ho- put, like I said, put in ho- so many homosexual references between books... 0, B, and 1.

And he uses uncensored swear words, such as [''Camera swings back to Chris''] sheeit and ass! In between all- in between all of his books! So many [[Chris and hypocrisy|goddamned]] of those. And his- and his A and B books are anti-religious! Anti-religious! In those two books. That little son of a bitch, he's pee- he's basically peeing on h-his own self.

Now look, I'll admit I have done my little share of nudity within the comi- within my- few page- within a couple of pages, but they were censored by either images of [[Sonichu_8#Alternate_versions|lemon for vagina an' bananas for... dick]].

[''Chris makes a revolted face at having just said the word "dick," then scratches the back of his head.'']

And it was f-and da- and da- and that book was finally finalized and organized so that it be 'propate for all- for all those of ages, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|TV-Y7]]... and such. And I- and if I ever said a swear word within my book, I would censor it, [''voice cracks''] but he does not censor his own swear words.

But like I said, [''Chris reaches down for his script''] he's basically gone to the things aga-he's basically mocking me with the references of myself. Between my- between the b- between the belly, the manboobs, the goatee and glasses, numerous shirts, a fake medal, wearing-h'yeah-a c'a-copy of MY DOG, an unapproved recreation of myself and my Son-and my characters, and even SETS ME ON FIRE [''Chris starts wandering around the room, keeping the camera on his face''] and makes my- and makes what is- makes his w-and makes HIS quote-unquote "Sonichu clone" go against me as being- as not being the original creator of the original Sonichu. Now, s-the original Sonichu of that thing can be caught in the wild, so therefore afar as far as I'm concerned, that's just ano-that's just another one he caught from the wild, and drew hisself a clone basically. Just another individual, aside from- aside from the original Sonichu that only lives in CWCville.

And also, in reference to the un-not 'proved use within book number 0 on pages 19 through 24, including-''including''-the homosetsual references, he supposedly thinks there's a, that, he supposedly thinks that there's this law change in CWCville at it is wrong for him to quote CWCville at all within his book. And no such changes, as he has said, has happened within CWCville. [''Stops and grabs camera vigorously with both hands and looks directly into it''] He wishes he knows my Sonichu, Rosechu, and all my electric hedgehogs as well as I do, but he can not, because he is not me, the original creator. [''Resumes wandering around the room''] HE IS NOT ME.

So uh I am send this message again to Alec, Evan, and even Mao--I have less offense with Sean by the way--but to those three...

[''Chris flips off the camera and gives a two-and-a-half-second raspberry'']

DIE. DIE IN HELL. And I hope the soul of my late dog eats at your souls and kills you in your sleep.

[''Gives a creepy uncomfortable stare at the camera as he slowly switches the hand holding it'']

But aside from that, his book his book is the pages within the so-called Asperchu...series? [''scratches the back of his head, pauses to look up at the ceiling for a moment''] They are definitely ludicrous and horrendous and horrific. [''starts moving around again, picks up a book, then wanders some more''] Even a horrific s-even as horrific as within [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian Gee's own book]]. And my pastor rissala-Elizabeth Hoss, my pastor has read the book from cover to cover, and she HATES it. Sh-my reverend hates it. And I don't like it either because it is of disgrace, and slander, and mockery of my person and my character. Just about as much, but ak-choo-lee this [''points to the TV''] is worse. The Asperchu and everything there, that is worse than that book. I'm sorry Vivian, but that book is just no good. And I'm definitely gonna let my Elizab-let my pastor know about the Asperpedia and the Asperchu and tru all the pow-through her powers within her church and the congregation and even the '''''F-B-I''''', we will see you in Minnesota, and take you down personally, Mister '''''ALEC BASON LARRY!'''''

[''pause, head scratch''] We get the FBI on our side. [''long pause''] Your mockery of my person is not appreciated!

Udder'n dat, I leave with most everybody else in peace. Have a good day. Except for you three of which I mentioned earlier.

==Rebuttal==
Within hours, [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia's]] Mao made a rebuttal video calling Chris out on his hypocrisy.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|GNk24SsVxaY}}
</center>
The video was promptly given a prominent position on every page of the [[CWCipedia]].

==See Also==
*[[Asperchu]]
*''[[Sonichu 8]]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]|nextlink=[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Current]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

Chris and money

2010-01-18T05:46:21Z

Allen Longbolt: the video from last night revealed the flatscreen is a Sony

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine. He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His PSN account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his clothes at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris is what most would call a welfare leech. Chris's only source of income is the $800 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the federal government every month. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref>

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, completely deluded.}}

It appears that [[Bob]] encourages Chris not to get a job, as it would void his Social Security status. Bob's encouragement indicates one of two things: he knows his son is a [[fail|failure]] and wants him to stop trying, or he's instructing Chris on being a parasite.

Chris strongly believes that receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others<ref>[[Mailbag 34]]</ref>. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy fixation on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff; and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.

==Credit cards==

As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. Chris has managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (according to [[Mumble 4]], 1000 of which comes from the PSN store, but this number has increased over the past few weeks) and has even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his were maxed out. Being the greedy twat that he is, when Chris finally does make payments towards his debts, he always does so in the smallest installments possible, freeing himself to spend as much as he has (or more) on worthless [[LittleBigPlanet|shit]], entirely oblivious to the fact that he's only increasing his debt by letting interest charges rack up. Economists are currently working on the theory that it is Chris's debts, not the collapse of financial institutions, which have caused the current global financial crisis.

==Debtors==

Based on current projections, it won't be long before the repo men are called in and Chris is forced to forfeit his [[PlayStation 3|shit]]. And considering that Chris has an unnatural obsession with his worthless crap we can expect a lot of BAWWWWING when the day comes. We eagerly await the inevitable inclusion of the Jerkollectors, or perhaps the Repo Gang, in future comics. Debt, like anything else that represents a challenge to his [[Autism|ignorant bliss]], is just another example of the world trying to keep him down.

If only he had taken money from the loan sharks, maybe then would they beat the crap out of his HFA ass <s>and teach him a lesson on the value of the dollar.</s> Nope, Chris would only continue spending and <s>maybe</s> definitely bitch about it on [[YouTube]].

==In the comic==

In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely, all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21|"paid" in average of $3,500 a month just to hang around]].

This, along with what else we know about CWCville, could mean that Chris is a communist, or at the very least, a socialist. Of course, he's most likely too much of a retard to actually know what that means.

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]] it's shown that CWCVille actually uses their own currency, in the form of C Quarters, W Quarters, and C Quarters. 10 C Quarters make up a W Quarter, and 10 W Quarters make up a C Quarter. Don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, especially considering [[Fail|what the word 'quarter' means]].

==In other works==

Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American Social Security system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]". This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea...}}

So, what is a "Soup Hotel"? Chris describe it in the [[Mailbag 20]] as a building ten stories floor tall with 10 to 20 rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and Cable TV. Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building Homeless shelthers with domitories, commons rooms and shared TV sets, Chris think the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a Bona-Fide hotel. This means that, in CWCville, there's around 1000-2000 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, chocked by heavy taxes needed to pay those [[Monthly Tugboat|social expenses]], are unable to make a profit there and are moving away.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of [[CWCville|state-run]] brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for virgins. In real life, Chris tried to [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|scam free sex]] out of a Craigslist prostitute by telling her about his many personal problems. The prostitute then hung up on him.

==See also==

*[[Monthly tugboat]] - what Chris calls his welfare check.

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Main Page

2010-01-13T05:40:08Z

Allen Longbolt: rvv (why isn't protection on?)

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[[Category:Special]]

Sonichu 10

2010-01-09T12:40:56Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities */

[[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|thumb|Finalized issue cover, from [[July 2009]].]]

[[Sonichu 10]] is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]].

==Background==
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|October 9, 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed.

In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa October 14, 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "time void" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until <i>after</i> #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu 9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on Sonichu and Rosechu. If he intends to use the material he's already published, he'll be breaking his promise within the first page.

Another continuity error in the comic is that Chris is wearing an orange shirt, even though he was wearing the classic red and blue-striped shirt when he entered the Time Void.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==

{{Ongoing}}
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named Lovely Weather. Chris then goes on to reveal that he tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self, and then fucked his future wife while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for homosexuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn Reldnahc back into Naitsirhc, whose one true love, [[Kel]] (?!) is worried sick about. He entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the <s>Sonichu Balls</s> Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse for him, restoring his virginity!) Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the usage of his real-life problems today: He calls out to Allison Amber and BILLY MAYS (apparently the couple here) to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his PS3, [[Guitar Hero]] and the instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other 5 Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at 4-Cent Garbage's HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells Blake and Punchy to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild in on the action. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]].

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
Chris, first, makes a stop a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (it says it was hosted by Tripod, one of the original websites where he hosted his stuff). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound... until the Devil Trolls emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The troll's flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, [[fail|as best he can]], the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed [[Brutal Legend]], though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He than proceeds to Teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs <s>Chaos</s> Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building (Why?!), erects a barrier around the building and <i>blows it up!</i> He, then, claims that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, then burns down the bridge to Tripod (as he claims), then proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, whose revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, then to set up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation.

Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a [[PlayStation 3]] to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of LittleBigPlanet for Wii or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his Guitar Hero guitar. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong.

With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power.

Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris putts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions).

Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl <i><b>"Jimmy!!"</b></i> Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something.

Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two Sonichus fight it out until the two of them hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the [[lies|completely non homoerotic]] phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, [[Son-Chu]], Sonichu, [[Blake]] and Wild arrive. As they set up their [[Guitar Hero]] gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]
The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel (who's suddenly alive), [[Clyde Cash]] (who's making his first official appearance in the comics) and [[Jack Thaddeus]] (who's making his first appearance here) warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. <strike>Chris, portraying</strike> Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, <strike>Chris portraying</strike> Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true <s>Americ</s>an heroes as <strike>Chris portrays them</strike> they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too drunk to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. [[fail|Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375.]] A memorial would be put up in the ruins and Encyclopedia Dramatica and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they ''probably'' had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.]]

Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on [[Women's rights|Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon]], Rosechu and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31|being Big Brother]]. Upon returning, Magi-Chan declares that testing on the vaccine is a success and that he brought the crates to the present and are sending them across on trucks. It is said that one Feburary 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be called [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]]. He also says that Silvana will be returned to being a girl and fall in love with Magi-Chan.

All of a sudden, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a [[fail|fan of the comic series]]. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris, cheating on his future wife AGAIN.

===Reaction===

As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] <br><br><br>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Sonichu 10

2010-01-07T06:19:04Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities */ it's just "TMZ", not "the TMZ"

[[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|thumb|Finalized issue cover, from [[July 2009]].]]

[[Sonichu 10]] is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]].

==Background==
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|October 9, 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed.

In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa October 14, 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "time void" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until <i>after</i> #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu 9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on Sonichu and Rosechu. If he intends to use the material he's already published, he'll be breaking his promise within the first page.

Another continuity error in the comic is that Chris is wearing an orange shirt, even though he was wearing the classic red and blue-striped shirt when he entered the Time Void.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==

{{Ongoing}}
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named Lovely Weather. Chris then goes on to reveal that he tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self, and then fucked his future wife while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for homosexuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn Reldnahc back into Naitsirhc, whose one true love, [[Kel]] (?!) is worried sick about. He entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the <s>Sonichu Balls</s> Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse for him, restoring his virginity!) Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the usage of his real-life problems today: He calls out to Allison Amber and BILLY MAYS (apparently the couple here) to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his PS3, [[Guitar Hero]] and the instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other 5 Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at 4-Cent Garbage's HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells Blake and Punchy to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild in on the action. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]].

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
Chris, first, makes a stop a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (it says it was hosted by Tripod, one of the original websites where he hosted his stuff). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound... until the Devil Trolls emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The troll's flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, [[fail|as best he can]], the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed [[Brutal Legend]], though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He than proceeds to Teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs <s>Chaos</s> Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building (Why?!), erects a barrier around the building and <i>blows it up!</i> He, then, claims that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, then burns down the bridge to Tripod (as he claims), then proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, whose revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, then to set up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation.

Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a [[PlayStation 3]] to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of LittleBigPlanet for Wii or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his Guitar Hero guitar. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong.

With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power.

Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris putts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions).

Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl <i><b>"Jimmy!!"</b></i> Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something.

Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two Sonichus fight it out until the two of them hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the [[lies|completely non homoerotic]] phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, [[Son-Chu]], Sonichu, [[Blake]] and Wild arrive. As they set up their [[Guitar Hero]] gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.

The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel (who's suddenly alive), [[Clyde Cash]] (who's making his first official appearance in the comics) and [[Jack Thaddeus]] (who's making his first appearance here) warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. <strike>Chris, portraying</strike> Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, <strike>Chris portraying</strike> Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true <s>Americ</s>an heroes as <strike>Chris portrays them</strike> they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too drunk to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. [[fail|Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375.]] A memorial would be put up in the ruins and Encyclopedia Dramatica and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they ''probably'' had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.]]

Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon, Rosechu and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31|being Big Brother]].

===Reaction===

As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] <br><br><br>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Sonichu 10

2010-01-07T06:18:35Z

Allen Longbolt: /* Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities */ it's just "TMZ", not "the TMZ"

[[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|thumb|Finalized issue cover, from [[July 2009]].]]

[[Sonichu 10]] is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]].

==Background==
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|October 9, 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed.

In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa October 14, 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "time void" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until <i>after</i> #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu 9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on Sonichu and Rosechu. If he intends to use the material he's already published, he'll be breaking his promise within the first page.

Another continuity error in the comic is that Chris is wearing an orange shirt, even though he was wearing the classic red and blue-striped shirt when he entered the Time Void.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==

{{Ongoing}}
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named Lovely Weather. Chris then goes on to reveal that he tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self, and then fucked his future wife while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for homosexuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn Reldnahc back into Naitsirhc, whose one true love, [[Kel]] (?!) is worried sick about. He entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the <s>Sonichu Balls</s> Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse for him, restoring his virginity!) Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the usage of his real-life problems today: He calls out to Allison Amber and BILLY MAYS (apparently the couple here) to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his PS3, [[Guitar Hero]] and the instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other 5 Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at 4-Cent Garbage's HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells Blake and Punchy to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild in on the action. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]].

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
Chris, first, makes a stop a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (it says it was hosted by Tripod, one of the original websites where he hosted his stuff). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound... until the Devil Trolls emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The troll's flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, [[fail|as best he can]], the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed [[Brutal Legend]], though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He than proceeds to Teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs <s>Chaos</s> Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building (Why?!), erects a barrier around the building and <i>blows it up!</i> He, then, claims that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, then burns down the bridge to Tripod (as he claims), then proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, whose revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, then to set up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation.

Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a [[PlayStation 3]] to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of LittleBigPlanet for Wii or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his Guitar Hero guitar. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong.

With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power.

Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris putts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions).

Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl <i><b>"Jimmy!!"</b></i> Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something.

Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two Sonichus fight it out until the two of them hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the [[lies|completely non homoerotic]] phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, [[Son-Chu]], Sonichu, [[Blake]] and Wild arrive. As they set up their [[Guitar Hero]] gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.

The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel (who's suddenly alive), [[Clyde Cash]] (who's making his first official appearance in the comics) and [[Jack Thaddeus]] (who's making his first appearance here) warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. <strike>Chris, portraying</strike> Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, <strike>Chris portraying</strike> Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true <s>Americ</s>an heroes as <strike>Chris portrays them</strike> they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too drunk to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. [[fail|Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375.]] A memorial would be put up in the ruins and Encyclopedia Dramatica and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they ''probably'' had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.]]

Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon, Rosechu and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard.]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31|being Big Brother]].

===Reaction===

As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] <br><br><br>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]