CWCki - User contributions [en]

File talk:Miyamoto saga.png

2015-03-10T07:17:46Z

AntonImaus:

Racist or not, this sprite doesn't even look like him. I'll provide a better one when I'm given the chance. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 23:20, 22 November 2010 (PST)
:I was going for an angle of how Chris likely sees him, because that's what all the other ones are, as most of them are fabricated characters. But yeah, I tried making it look more like him but couldn't find a way to make it look good. Obviously you're not gonna make another so I'll take another stab at it. -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 10:43, 26 February 2011 (PST)
:: Huh, I could have sworn there was an existing conversation before me but I guess it's on a different link. You're probably not able to read this but I LOVE IT. So much better now. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] ([[User talk:AntonImaus|talk]]) 07:17, 10 March 2015 (UTC)

A-Logs

2013-04-22T02:45:29Z

AntonImaus: /* Legal Liability */

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]

{{quote|What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes to what [[Chris-Chan|Chris]] has done.|A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}

{{Protip|This article is about the term "A-Logging" and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves, and therefore is looked down upon by the greater CWC community.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as "Chris-Chan 2.0" because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.

==Motivations==
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justifications for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. One common argument is that "Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name." Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, those who "A-Log" do so to "trollshield" or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home beyond an appropriate age, are unemployed and/or are living off welfare, have trouble with women, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are "at least not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.

==Arguments against A-Logs==

While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.

===Chris is not Hitler===
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of "crimes" that must be punished. Hitler was supposedly responsible for the death of over 6 million Jews, plus millions of other political dissidents in the years before and during World War II. Chris is just an idiot who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day are likely to be the result of his mothers influence, non-existent driving skills, and sheer panic.<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email?|"Mom took the wheel"]]</ref><ref>[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]</ref>

===Legal Liability===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction. In addition to this, the charm of watching Chris is his eternal struggle against a nonexistent enemy. Committing actual violence would only legitimize Chris's victim complex.

====Chris's [[Chris and race|racism]] and [[Homos|homophobia]]====
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate; it is entirely possible for a non-racist white man to not be sexually attracted to non-white women. Chris has used the racial slur of "nigger" in a few of his means of communication; while this is considered a serious mark of a racist, Chris shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris shows great apprehension towards using the word "nigga" and only does so when Lars gives him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word "nigger" is in his video confronting Surf Shack Tito on his trolling efforts.<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word "nigger"]]</ref> In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is meant to be of Hawaiian descent. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of "nigger"]]</ref> Once again, it is likely that Chris has been exposed to this word and chooses to repeat it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to African-Americans.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|"[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]"]]</ref><ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|"[...]and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me."]]</ref> Chris is not the Westboro Baptist Church which is engaged in a massive campaign against homosexuals using inflammatory language, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.

====The tugboat====
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money. What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "kick his ass" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is just an idiot===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of "street smarts" or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

===Most people can avoid the trolls===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered "Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am".

But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response – laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.

''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.

Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.

==Examples==
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded into the fucktardian [[Duck|PENIS]] we know & despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna [[wikipedia:Mass Transit incident (professional wrestling)|destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!]]|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}

{{quote|CHRIS-CHAN MUST DIE!!!! Sick fuck!|mxc82, once again, on YouTube. (Note: This is not a joke)}}

{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]] dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}

{{quote|I hope you are ashamed that a retarded autistic person (just like yourself) killed 20 innocent kids....all autistic people should be wiped from the earth and aborted before birth since you are all evil i wish the worst fates that heaven and hell can bring upon you and all the other autistic pieces of shit like you|RealReplyGirl4Ever, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account, comparing Chris to [[wikipedia:Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting|a man who shot up an elementary school]].}}

{{quote|Fucking Chris Chan. I hate this guy, sucks to have [[autism]] and ppl think you're like him|[[789chan|/cwc/]]}}

{{quote|For those of you who never heard of this fella, Chrischan is a twenty-nine year old [[Autism|"highly functioning autistic"]] who is really a brain dead and delusional manchild. I am a austic myself and I feel ashamed about this jackass reenforcing a negative stereotype on austics and going out of his way to make normal autistics like myself look bad.|GearsX, in his "Chrischan Rant Quickie" DeviantArt Journal.}}

{{quote|You know, blocking people is just going to make you look butthurt. Stop giving people with [[Autism]] and [[Asperger syndrome|Apergers]] a bad name. I have aspergers, I'm 13, and yet I draw, and know better. Not to be mean, but with those [[For Julie's Eyes Only|blow up doll]] and stripping videos, you need help.|ShanuChinchillaXx, on Chris-Chan's fake DeviantArt account.}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]

[[Category: Trolling]]

Kacey Call 8

2011-06-09T02:29:01Z

AntonImaus: Thought it was hilarious that hse mentioned Welcome to the NHK. Added a pipe so others know why.

2 [[September 2009]]

==Summary==
In Kacey Call 8 Chris says he found out that he can earn up to $980 a month at a [[job]] and still collect welfare. Kacey and Chris talk about "Hannah Montana" and then the subject moves to "Seinfeld", "Family Guy", and "Friends" where Chris and Kacey get in a little argument about a comment about Chris being like a "George Costanza of [[Sonichu]]". There's some brief mentioning of an episode of "House" featuring an autistic child as well as some [[YouTube]] hentai that Chris doesn't remember favorite-ing or leaving a comment on because he was [[Christopher]] at the time. After a few awkward and stressful moments, Chris admits that he believes that he has gotten rid of Christopher and when he thinks about it now, he believes that Kacey was right and that he didn't actually ever have multiple personality disorder, but instead, he was being possessed by a ghost of the trolls who have died. His best guess is either [[BlueSpike|Max Milvania]] or [[Clyde Cash]]. Chris gets "thousands" of troll calls a day and thinks that Kacey and Kim should get new phone plans so that they don't come in as restricted/unknown and he can answer safely (Kacey says not to hold his breath). The call ends with Kacey becoming angry at Chris for telling another girl that Kacey "wasn't his sweetheart YET" but that "they were warming up to the idea". Chris plans to turn Kacey into his [[Sweetheart From the Ground-Up]]. Kacey states that they are only friends and that's all they will ever be; Chris is very disappointed and states that he only told the other girl that because it was "wishful thinking".

==Transcript==
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hi! It's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kace, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I’m ok, just a little tire. How are you?
 '''Chris:''' Ahh, I’m ok. Yeah, I got some good news though, in case Kac-Kim hasn’t told you. My fath- my fam- my father and me went down to the social security office. Apparently, I can earn 980 dollars in a month at a job and it would not affect my social security.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s good. Is that just for the trial period?
 '''Chris:''' It’s you know… in general.
 '''Kacey:''' So…that’s forever?
 '''Chris:''' Prob- Likely so.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! Well that’s great news. See? Now go get a job. You can do it. That’s awesome. I’m glad you found that out.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah… even though I pretty much have taken care of Walmart over the internet. I’m going to personally go to Target tomorrow, as well as McDonald’s, maybe Toys R Us, or maybe a place in the mall, a couple- I’m not sure a-about those other places. Yeah, I’ll definitely be going out to turn out applications tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s good. That’s good. Um…I’m happy about that. Like what did you want to do? Like maybe, just be a door greeter or something?
 '''Chris:''' If I could, I’d like to be either a stock shelfer- a shelf stocker or a cashier. Or ev- or even.
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] Oh yeah, if you stock shelves, you can work on those muscles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, or even be, you know, just be- mopping the- just janitorial work. I’d be- I wouldn’t mind doing that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh yeah, that’s good. I mean, th-that’s a good humble position. I hope you get it. Umm... just remember you’re going to have to listen to authority if you do that [chuckles]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s ok. I can- I can take direction as long as it’s, you know, [pause and sigh], as it’s at a certain level of forcefulness. Umm... as long as it doesn’t give the impression of major threat, something like that. But yeah, I can follow direction easily enough.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh yeah, that’s good. Well definitely good luck on that and keep me posted.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I will. Hmm, so yah have some- a class or two today?
 '''Kacey:''' Of course I did. Yeah, I have classes Monday thru Friday
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s right. Yeah you do. And then you go to work right? Yup
 '''Kacey:''' Yep. Well today I didn’t go to work. I did some laundry and some house-work.
 '''Chris:''' That’s good. [pause] That’s good to have some time to yourself. Um ('''Kacey:''' Yes) anyway, did some laundry, did some house-work… Um... didn’t you say you were living with a room-mate?
 '''Kacey:'''Ah, yes I do have room-mates. I decided dorm-life wasn’t for me.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, dorm-life? So you’re not living in a dorm?
 '''Kacey:''' Nope.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, um… Is this like… you’re living in your own house?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, we’re renting. It’s just an apartment. It’s pretty small.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. You moved, so you’re in an apartment now.
 '''Kacey:''' Ah, yeah. You know, cuz it’s the start of the semester.
 '''Chris:''' I’m sorry, what was that?
 '''Kacey:''' Cuz I moved, at the start of the semester.
 '''Chris:''' Oh you moved- oh ok. Yeah, I remember we talked earlier about you-you’re living with your room-mate and uh-b-borrowing your room-mates PS3 and whatever
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Like that rules out that messa- communication to your room-mate’s PS3 if you don’t have a room-mate right now [chuckles like he’s made a joke]. Well at least you still have your Wii. ('''Kacey:''' Yes) You know, we can talk through that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes
 '''Chris:''' You know, Yeah have you updated with the recent updates? It’s an update-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] No, actually I haven’t. It’s still glowing blue. I’m uh, I’m you know, I just haven’t really touch it lately, I’ve been busy.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah you know, one of the updates I’ve noticed on my Wii, I-I keep it and my Play Station 3 up to date. Y-You know in addition to the t-text messages, you can also send 10 second voice messages.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that’s cool.
 '''Chris:''' Y-yeah, you have to have the Wii speak for that. You know, it comes with Animal Crossing, by the way, I have that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well I don’t. I mean, I got the game, but I didn’t get like the pack with the Wii Speak.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, You’d need the Wii Speak for ah… for the 10 second recording. [pause] Anyway, um, let me see… what else, what else. OH yeah, I, ah return Labyrinth today, but I- guess I- guess what I rented for a dollar? It ca-came into the fam-It came into the dollar section last time, I noticed, when I rented Labyrinth.
 '''Kacey:''' Ah, my other favorite movie, Dark Crystal?
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Dark Crys- Ah no. I don’t think you mentioned Dark Crystal. If you did I might have forgotten it… Anyway, no not Dark Crystal, I rented Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, cool. Hannah Montana. But yeah, you must have forgotten about Dark Crystal.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' A-Aren’t you worried about being 27 and renting a Hannah Montana Movie though?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, not too much. [Stutters] I-It’ll-It- not too much.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, she is underage.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, I don’t have THOSE thoughts about her, I do not. I’m serious.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but still. I’m just saying. You know, like me, I’m a girl, but don’t you worry about what people think when the see a 27 year old man coming up with Hannah Montana?
 '''Chris:''' I liked her music, so it’s like, I, you know, want to hear a little bit more of it. Of what I’ve heard, which isn’t very much.
 '''Kacey:'''[At a loss for words] Ah, ok well. A-as long as your comfortable with it. You know it’s just, some people would think it’s kind of gay.
 '''Chris:''' Well… [Pause] Yeah, it’s like you know… I think I’ve told you before how… It’s like I have a mind set of a younger age a-at most of the time, even though I have the body of a 20-adult. So it’s like, you know, I like to enjoy the a current young type things you know, my children will be enjoying themselves.
 '''Kacey:'''[Long pause] Well I mean, yeah, it’s good to have nostalgia and everything. Like sometimes, I’ll watch old things like Jem or Care Bears or something. But you still have to grow up. I mean, y-you know, it can’t rule your life.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, like, I should be watching more House or The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I-If those are things you enjoy. You don’t have to do everything just because I do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I do enjoy Seinfeld and Family Guy and… I enjoy those adult comedies.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s good.
 '''Chris:''' [Long pause] You know, I can-can’t just quote Seinfeld off the top of my head, it would have to just randomly come to me from memory. [Giggles] You know what? George always struck me as funny you know, he’s like the quirky guy that’s just, you know, being himself but yet nobody really likes him that much.
 '''Kacey:''' So do you identify with him?
 '''Chris:''' Uh yes, in like, you know, yeah, r-related to me, like similar life style and yeah fairly much so yeah I’ll-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] So, So you’re like the George Costanza of Sonichu I guess.
 '''Chris:''' [Offended] No. I had not even thought of that and the thought of that just, just does not register with me.
 '''Kacey:''' But you just said you identify with him.
 '''Chris:''' [Huffs and sighs] George Costanza of Sonichu. That’s a worse image to imagine than those, t-the retarded open mouthed [adds ‘retarded’ voice] “Hey look at me. I’m some kind of retarded idiot” [returns to normal voice] Sonichu fan drawing somebody, I recall somebody else doing-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] What?! Ar-Ar I-It was just a joke. Are you trying to make fun of me? ('''Chris:''' No) I mean, that’s insulting.
 '''Chris:''' No. I’m not making fun of you.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean, you can’t make fun of people like that. We’ve been through this before. What are you doing?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. I was just saying the image…of a George Costanza Sonichu, it just does not appeal to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, yeah. But don’t call people retarded like that. That was uncalled for. I don’t even know where that came from.
 '''Chris:''' [Stress sigh] If you noticed on the ED page, there is a whole bunch of questionable fanart…where it’s mostly-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] Chris! I thought-I thought you didn’t like the ED page. Why do you keep telling me to go to it? I mean if all the stuff, in your life...
 '''Chris:''' [Tries to cut in but Kacey talks over him]
 '''Kacey:''' No, just stop. Stop! You talk about it all the time, you need to let it go.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I do hate it. I’m just saying, like you know, I have seen it before. I have seen it-
 '''Kacey:'''[Cuts in] Yeah, but like every other phone call you keep talking about it. “Kacey go look at it. Kacey go look at it.” I thought you didn’t want me to.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I do not want you to look at it. I-I don’t have to talk about it. B-But I’m just saying…don’t… They just made me look stupid. Th-Those artists are just drawing those to make me look stupid
 '''Kacey:''' Whichever.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, umm… We can talk about more pleasant things ah… Yeah. I got- umm…My tugboat came in early-um came in earlier... ah so I invested a dollar nine, I invested a little bit of it and downloaded that to a House I told you about.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok
 '''Chris:''' Season 3 episode 4 Lines in the Sand.
 '''Kacey:''' Right
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s the one with the autistic child. I told you about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, yeah you did. Th-There’s a lot better episodes though.
 '''Chris:''' [Sounds dejected] Hm... Though still I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' [Talks over] But House is pretty good all the way around.
 '''Chris:''' Ok, yeah, yeah. That’s good that you enjoy House. Yeah. I can enjoy- I can enjoy it more…I mean yeah, I can get into that you know-
 '''Kacey:'''[Interrupts] Well um, I see that you’ve um... favorited some new videos. Um... there’s one Anime that I actually really like. Um, so, I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Parappa the Rapper
 '''Kacey:''' Nooo, the [[wiki:Welcome to the NHK|Welcome to the NHK]].
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Wait. Umm...
 '''Kacey:''' You don’t know what videos you favorited?
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Hm, I put, a like you know, so like umm…. Wait, ok. Was this a recent add to my favorite list? The ah, Welcome to the N-
 '''Kacey:''' Yes!
 '''Chris:''' I don’t even remember. I do not even remember that one. I hope nobody is hacking into my pla-my youtube again.
 '''Kacey:''' Bu-But you left-
 '''Chris:''' I’ll have to take a look at that.
 '''Kacey:''' But you left a comment…I mean it’s…
 '''Chris:''' [Long pause] I do not remember that. [Small pause] Oh my god, I hope nobody’s got into my Youtube again… I’ll have to take a look at that when we finish up here.
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, I’m pretty sure everything’s ok. I mean, you left some weird comment saying that it had something to do with Christopher or something. I mean, d-do you do things that you don’t remember?
 '''Chris:''' If I, If I did, If [Stress Sigh] I don’t know.
 '''Kacey:''' I’m going to take that as a Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I don’t know. I mean, if I did…and I wasn’t suppose to, and if I didn’t know it after the fact I did it... it would definitely be like, you know, I don’t know. And-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] But, uh, I guess- I guess does Christopher know?
 '''Chris:''' No, I willed him away Monday night. I have not heard from him since. I mean- I mean you were right, it was just a possession. I was being possessed… probably by a trolling site- probably by a ghost of one of the past trolls that died.
 '''Kacey:''' [Astonished] W-What?! What do you think it is?
 '''Chris:''' A-A What you told me, you know, p- I was being possessed otherwise I, otherwise yeah. I mean, I was aware, I was aware what was going on with that other guy so, yeah. It definitively was not a split personality. I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' [Talks over Chris] Well I mean, there’s a comment that, that read “I want out Christian.” So you think it’s the ghost of a troll that died? Which troll?
 '''Chris:''' I don’t know. There’s like a number, there’s like a number of them. Like I don’t… I can name two off the top of my head. Max Milvania, who posed as Julie during that Julie fiasco and then there’s Clyde Cash.
 '''Kacey:''' W-Well I mean, from what you told me… I thought Max was alive, I thought Clyde was the only one who was dead. You think it’s Clyde!
 '''Chris:''' I do-I don’t know everything. I don’t know. I’m just speaking theories right now. I don’t know for sure.
 '''Kacey:''' W-What happens if he’s still in you? Oh my gosh!
 '''Chris:''' [Stress sigh] A-Anyway… hm
 '''Kacey:''' NO! This is scary. Oh my gosh!
 '''Chris:''' [Dramatic sigh] It is scary. But anyway I-I-I wil- I willed that second guy out of my head Monday night and I have not heard from him since.
 '''Kacey:''' But I thought you talked about him the other day…I mean, are you sure? I mean, if it’s really that strong of a possession it could be tricking you. Maybe that’s why you’re going blank. I mean, you talked about this yesterday. So, you couldn’t have sworn it off on Monday.
 '''Chris:''' [Long pause] No, I willed it away W-I-L-L.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, you couldn’t have willed it away though cuz you were mentioning this yesterday. Ok. Well, let’s just hope that it is gone.
 '''Chris:''' [Starts stuttering] No, no, no, no, yeah we- I mean we weren’t – I mean yeah, we were talking about it yesterday. But it’s like, you know, I wasn’t sure I had willed it away completely. I wanted to make sure, like you know, by waiting, you know, a couple of days to a week before I fin- before I make a final statement around my theory of having willed it away- having will-willing that guy away was true or not.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, ok. I-I’m not quite sure that makes sense, but ok.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like you know, You want to make sure-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should still see that doctor, you know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I’m gonna, Yeah, I’m gonna, Yeah, I’m gonna
 '''Kacey:''' Have you made an appointment? Or have you seen someone?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I made an appointment with Doctor McGovern. And ah, yeah I’m- yeah yeah. I’m going to talk to him and I’ll
 '''Kacey:''' You’re going to see him soon?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, and I’m also going to ask him about the a, about the gym membership discount.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh that’s good, that’s good. I hope you can get one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that, that would be good. By the way, I’ve mentioned to my mother, but not my father, about my shop, my shopping for sports bra.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I-I don’t think that, I’m not sure your dad would be comfortable about that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, my mom, my mom was more understanding about that topic.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh? So your mom agreed?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [Pause] She did.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you are older, so you don’t have to tell them anything, you don’t have to tell them everything Chris. Especially with adult decisions like that. You can’t go running around-
 '''Chris:''' [Tries to talk over Kacey] Yeah bu, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I m-I mean
 '''Kacey:''' But, I’m glad she agreed with you.
 '''Chris:''' You know, I feel- I feel like my mom should know since, you know. I’m going to start exercising-I’m going to start going out and start jogging. But then I had- I told her before about my man-boobs and my concern about them. So then there’s like, you know, I wanted to let her know that, you know, I do notice that when I move about quickly I do shake about a lot so that bothers me. So I’m in the market for a sports bra a-and she agreed with me on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well as long as sh-she agreed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [Long Pause] Hmm... but yeah, shopping for vegetables. Yeah, I can definitely go to the grocery store and get more ah, get more fresh, more fresh produce instead of going out to a fast food restaurant, even though it might be a little bit more pricey.
 '''Kacey:''' Right, right. But eating healthy is like that. Um, so what kind of vegetables are you going to get?
 '''Chris:''' You know, definitely fresher salad. You said Romaine, Roman, Romaine ('''Kacey:'''Romaine Lettuce? Yeah.) Contains more than regular lettuce.
 '''Kacey:''' Right, like regular lettuce is mainly just roughage and water. Like, the best thing is Mixed Field Greens.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Mixed Field Greens. Yeah you did mention that. Mixed Field Greens, I remember. Yeah, Mixed Field Greens or yeah salad with Romaine Lettuce. O-Ok. How about tomatoes?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, of course tomatoes are good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, crushed tomatoes. How about-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, well I mean, just stay, just stay away from things in cans. Like, it’s ok every so often, but, um you know, there’s a lot of sodium in there. And even if you get the lower sodium kinds it’s still not as good and it doesn’t have as many nutrients.
 '''Chris:''' Well, o-ok, well st- but I’m talking about like, if I go to the grocery store and they have a little mini-salad bar where I can make my own salad. I could find- and they have like the Romaine Lettuce and then I’m just- you know individual vegetables that I could put into my salad.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, remember, just salads aren’t all you can do. You know, um...you know you could, you know, get certain types of vegetables you could cook with.
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean raw is good. I mean, have you ever thought of trying tofu?
 '''Chris:''' I’ve heard of tofu, and I’m not really sure about it.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I love tofu. I add tofu to salads. I add it to everything.
 '''Chris:''' You add tofu to your salads.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, and you should, ah, try soy milk.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, m-m-my mom and I, we drink, ahhhh, we drink soy milk.
 '''Kacey:''' OH, you already drink soy milk.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Silk. Th-That brand of soy mil-brand of soy milk, Silk. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, ok.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but my mom generally likes to get the chocolate flavored soy milk, Silk.
 '''Kacey:''' So, do you drink it a lot?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I drink it sometimes. Yeah, I could drink it more.
 '''Kacey:''' You should… Um ok, you should try to get the regular white one. You shouldn’t always get chocolate all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. I’ll kee- I will keep that in mind.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Ok. [Pause and Chris starts to mumble and talk under his breath] Hmm... so always eat tofu and you... You mentioned soy milk ah yeah, let’s continue on from there. What’s your next suggestion?
 '''Kacey:''' Ummm. Ok, well you should eat a lot of, let’s see here… um definitely a lot of dark leafy vegetables, like kale and collards and stuff, in moderation of course. Because those have fiber and a lot of vitamins you need.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Kale and Collard?
 '''Kacey:''' Collards, yeah. And mustard greens, turnip greens…
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I like turnip greens. I’ve never heard of mustard greens though.
 '''Kacey:''' Th-They all pretty much taste the same.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well, I used to confuse turnip greens with spinach.
 '''Kacey:''' Really? Totally different taste.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, different taste but I used to you know, because the got- th-they both just have that dark shade of green
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Umm.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, remember Chris, I’m not a doctor or a nurse yet, I mean... you can Google these things and they’ll give you a lot of information on vegetables and stuff. J-Just remember, only eating vegetables is bad too. You need to have balance and everything.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand that balance. Yes, yeah so I’ll eat some fruits as well so yeah. Let’s talk about fruits. Um. I-I think you can agree, with like apples, bananas, oranges, lemons for lemonade.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh yeah, th-that… Definitely, definitely citrus fruits are good. Ah, you should try to eat grapefruit every morning.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Ok, yeah, grapefruit. Um, ok, I’ll, well. How about, let’s see, strawberries…?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, berries are good too. You should eat a lot of blueberries.
 '''Chris:''' Ah, more blueberries than strawberries?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, if you... You should eat a lot of blueberries.
 '''Chris:''' Ok. You know- you know they put ah blueberries and strawberries in McDonald’s, in they a parfait. I’m just saying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean, um, you could also get those types of juices, like the natural ones. I mean they’re pretty expensive but their worth it. Like the berry goodness one’s really good and so is the green one. It’s got like kiwi… It’s got fruits and vegetables in it.
 '''Chris:''' Ah, ok, wait a minute. Juices?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean like a juice or a smoothie in the morning is good, cuz ah you don’t want ah- eat too much at breakfast but like I told you. You want to do like five little meals everyday at least.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. I’ve tried smoothies… I like those. We got- we- I-you know I get a smoothie, you know, every once in a whi-once in a while we’ll get a smoothie from Sheetz. They’re pretty good. Fresh fruit smoothies. I generally like the ah-
 '''Kacey:''' Well just remember you don’t want it to be an unhealthy smoothie. Like, there’s this place in the suburbs that I like to go to and they have this health shake and it’s got like wheat germ and fruits and stuff in it and it’s got nothing, like sugary, in it. It’s really good.
 '''Chris:''' Ok. Yeah, definitely local-l-local, local smoothie shops. Yeah, can agree with you on that. I can definitely name one around here that you know, you might find next time you’re in town, unless- if you feel like it’s the same kind of place you got um [unintelligible] at lunch and I found. ('''Kacey:''' Huh?) You know the advance cards, you know the advance card that comes out like every September, aaand [starts being incoherent] sticks em out for a life, but their good for a year and it has all these discounts and whatnot?
 '''Kacey:''' Uhuh
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, but anyway, They have one on the new one I just got. It’s called a tropical smoothie buffet, ('''Kacey:''' Uhuh), if you wanna go shopping there, Joshua introduced me to it to him. Very good wraps and smoothies there as well.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh that’s good, but um, you should also talk to your doctor about getting on a vitamin diet plan. I mean, y-you just take vitamins every day, like calcium and iron and vitamin b at least.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I was on vitamins for a while years, uh, a few years ago but then I… I just didn’t feel like taking them and I just stopped on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait. You can’t do that. I mean, that’ll hurt your body. I mean, sometimes we do need supplements.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. I’m just saying, like I you know, I did- it was like this box of multiple vitamins, you know, like 30 packets and you get like one pill of each vitamin, and uh, in th-in th-in the one, in the one packet and you take those one at a time. You can find them at CVS, but I forget what the brand name is though.
 '''Kacey:''' But, ya, you know those may not be not exactly what you need, like you should talk with your doctor. You might have to get your vitamins, you know, separately and everything. Cuz some of those packs, the-they’re-they just put them there to make money. Like, you should actually go to a place that specializes in vitamins.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah, ok. Anyway getting back to this smoothie café for a moment though. On the coupon, on the advance card it allows me ten percent off any wrap, sandwich, or smoothie.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, ok.
 '''Chris:''' That’s a good deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but you know, don’t, don’t, don’t uh, jeopardize you health just because it’s a good deal. I mean your health is worth way more than that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I kn-I just wanted to get that away while I had the card in my hand.
 '''Kacey:''' And besides…you know, some calcium things, they have calcium chews now. So I mean, th-there’s like so many things you can do.
 '''Chris:''' Ah, you said calcium chews?
 '''Kacey:''' Chews? Yeah. I use those.
 '''Chris:''' Ok. Yeah, calcium chew… Alright. Hmm, ah shoot. OH, yeah, Would you agree to yogurt?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, yogurt is really good but you have to watch out with how many flavors you get cuz then that’s when they add the sugar. Um, cottage cheese and fruit would probably be better. But yogurt’s good every so often.
 '''Chris:''' Ok, well just for record though I’ve- I have actually tried cottage cheese before and I jus- and I do not like it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I don’t blame you, but it’s still better, I mean, you could also put it in smoothies with fruit. I mean, you could do that with yogurt too. And then you can’t taste it as much. But you’ve gotta use the plain yogurt, you don’t want the ones with added sugars.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. Plain yogurt.
 '''Kacey:''' And, and some of the ones, even if they’re diet, they still, like, they still can mess you up when they have like Splenda and stuff in them.
 '''Chris:''' Ahh, what and stuff?
 '''Kacey:''' Splenda. You know, like the fake sugars.
 '''Chris:''' Splenda. Oh Splenda. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' It tricks your body and you shouldn’t have a lot of it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. Not a lot of Splenda. [Chuckles] Had a lot of Splenda. [Long Pause] Hmm. Ok, let me think a moment. [Long awkward pause]
 '''Kacey:''' So, anything else on your mind?
 '''Chris:''' Ok, well yeah. I’m pretty much taking in everything we talk about so far. I’m trying to think of a b- of- I’m trying to think of the a-the- a new- something new- good something new to talk about. Umm.
 '''Kacey:''' What ab- what about Sonichu? How are you doing on Sonichu?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Because, you know, I had to go downtown today with my family and social security, I was- I couldn’t get another page done today but… Yeah, yeah I’ll try to get some more pages done tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, that’s good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, definitely, yeah, you know, I should keep in my mind, you know, I originally started it as a hobby so I should continue it as a hobby, I should not let the trolls try luring me down.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Y-you know, their ridicules and all that. Yeah, I was just talking to Kim about, like you know, how to deal with- how to cope with the ah, stress from the trolls. You know, I-I got- Oh by the way, I should let you know, umm, I-I’m on a cell phone plan where I can talk air-time free between 9 and 6, 8, 9pm and 6am and on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' That sounds like every cell phone plan.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. But any- Yeah. Anyway after 9 o’clock, I checked my voice- I check my voice messages and de- and delete a majority of them which, you know, also where troll messages anyway. And then, you know, I get to the few incoming calls from familiar troll numbers, or otherwise stri- or otherwise restricted. And, ah, unavailable numbers, which by the way, I know Kim does not call me til the 10 o’clock hour except she said sometime between 9 and 10pm tonight?
 '''Kacey:''' Well what are you going to do if we call you anytime else?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, yeah, I do have my phone on silent and… just ignore them.
 '''Kacey:''' Bu-But what happens if-No, what happens Kim or I try to call you any other time? Like, what if it’s just to say, ‘Hey, I can’t talk to you later.’ Or something? I mean is it just because you don’t have enough minutes?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no no. It’s just like, you know, I get too many incoming troll calls. I mean they’re coming in by the thousands, even if it’s from- I mean, you know, just the number of calls, not the number of people. I get them in the hundreds to thousands [Stutters]. I-It’s been piling up lately it’s-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you should start blocking those numbers.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but most of them are restricted or unavailable and you can’t and you can’t block those. If you know how, if-if you don’t know the number to block then there you go…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, technically you can but I don’t think you should if you wanna talk to us and stuff, you know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I, Yeah I know, Yeah. And I have not been able to figure out the blocking option on my phone. I thought I was close, but I rec- but I needed a password and I do not know the four-digit password.
 '''Kacey:''' You don’t know the password on your own phone?
 '''Chris:''' Not at the current moment I do not.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I guess you’re just going to have to deal with them, you know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I’ll just, ah, listen to my messages and delete them. But anyway, you know, between you and Kim y’all work on your way on voicemail you know. Hm, I’m going to check those- I’m going to check those probably during the afternoon hours, I could. Ye- you know, yeah, you and Kim can just leave me a message on my voicemail, I’ll get it.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I guess. But you know, it-it’s just frustrating, like sometimes when, you know, like when I was at the mall and I couldn’t reach you. I mean, I don’t know, you just do whatever you feel is best.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. There’ll be-There’ll be- I feel it’ll be much better, you know, yeah, yeah, try and see if you can life the restricted thing off your phone or get a new cell phone. And th-that pretty much goes for Kim too, you know, so then I can-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] Well, you know I can’t because of my parents. So I wouldn’t bank on that anytime soon.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. I know but I’m just putting that out there. You could probably do it in the future, not right now. Yeah, you understand. Anyway, yeah you know, just make it so I can actually read your number and then I’ll know it’s you. Every time.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean like, you know, currently I’m expecting you and Kim to call me, you know, respectively during the 10 and 11 o’clock hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you know, we-we do have lives Chris. I mean, sometimes that’s just not going to work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well you know, y’all could send me like, an e-mail, early in the day. I check my e-mail about early afternoon.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, well that’s great, but I mean you know since we’re FRIENDS, you know, you’re going to have to make some effort too. So I mean… you know…And speaking of us being friends, Kim told me something interesting. Umm, you know this girl named Scout?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yes, yes, yes Scout, she ah-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, apparently YOU had an e-mail telling her that I wasn’t your sweetheart YET, but we were warming up to each other. What did you mean by that?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, well I was just saying…I was… [Long awkward pause] Hmm... let me think a moment… [Another long pause] I ah, um, Scout and I were gonna meet up- were eventually going to meet together and you know, hang out, but-but then it just never up.
 '''Kacey:''' That-that may be true, but that doesn’t have anything to do with what you told her. You know I’m still in love with MY Chris. You know I’m still going through a lot. So why would you tell people things like this. I mean, what did you mean by that? That we’re warming up to each other. And yet.
 '''Chris:''' I-I mean warming up to each other as-as friends.
 '''Kacey:''' You said I wasn’t your sweetheart YET. How hard is it to understand, that right now, we are friends.
 '''Chris:''' I-I understand det-
 '''Kacey:''' [Talks over Chris] Just say we’re friends. It’s like you’re trying to mold me into something, or trap me. That’s not cool. I mean what happens if ('''Chris:''' I’m sorry) we’re forever friends.
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Hmmm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, what happens if I’m in love with Chris forever? I mean, what happens if, even though the circumstances are horrible, he’s my true one?
 '''Chris:''' Well… do you really feel that way right now?
 '''Kacey:''' Right now I do. And that’s why it hurts so much.
 '''Chris:''' Well, if you really want to go out and find him, I will not send you away.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I know, just yo-you- we need to be friends, Chris. You need to tell people we’re friends. You can’t plot behind my back like that.
 '''Chris:''' [Dejected] Ok. I’m sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how hard is it say friends?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s not hard. But it’s called wishful thinking…
 '''Kacey:''' I-I know but the thing is it- it’s wishful, you should keep it to yourself. I mean, if something happens, it does. But if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. The thing is that, you’ll… You just can’t do that. I mean, that’s going to make me angry and push me away. And you need to be respectful of my feelings and how much I love someone else. Even if he can’t be with me.
 '''Chris:''' [Stressful Sigh] Yeah, I understand and I’m sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I hope you do, cuz you know, that just irritates me that you’re doing that behind my back.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. Well I can- I can undo Scout. I think yeah Scout was pretty much the only one I told that too, at this point. I mean, it’s not like I made a YouTube video, which I did not. I can swear to God on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I hope not.
 '''Chris:''' I promise you I would not. [Pause] And, but yeah sure, I’ll straighten Scout out, if it’ll make you feel better.
 '''Kacey:''' It will make me feel better. It’ll make me tons better.
 '''Chris:''' Ok, I’ll send an e-mail to Scout and let her know that you and I are just friends. Yeah, I’ll straighten her out.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok.
 '''Chris:''' Ok.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, [Chris stress sighs] I’m going to go ahead and go and ('''Chris:''' Yeah) you know, I’ve got school so I will talk to you- I might be late tomorrow because I’ll be working but I’ll try to talk to you when I could.
 '''Chris:''' Ok, I understand. I-I’ll be waiting for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, alright. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye, talk to you later. Stay safe. Bye-bye.
 End Call

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?4qf7pu74dgi8j9j mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 7]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 9]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Muscle bra

2011-05-23T03:12:20Z

AntonImaus: /* Chris and bras */

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin.|Chris}}

[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|Happy Chris in a muscle bra and with [[PS3|life upgrade]]]]
[[Image:Cwcbraorig.JPG|thumb|Unhappy Chris in a classic (read: his [[Barb|mom]]'s) bra]]
'''Muscle bra''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for the [[Wikipedia:sports bra|sports bra]] that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] is wearing on his [[obesity|manboobs]].

The muscle bra, also known as '''the Muscle Bra of Fail''', first appeared in [[October 2009]] in the leaked e-mail accompanied by photos. His usually bouncy moobs soon became less noticeable in subsequent videos.

Later the same month, Chris appealed to others to wear a muscle bra too:

{{quote|I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a muscle bra. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly [[Wikipedia:Pectoralis major muscle|pecs]], they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.|Chris<ref>[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]</ref>}}
==Chris and bras==
[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|Chris after converting his bra into a wearable [[Attraction Sign]]]]
[[File:Wantwoman.png|thumb|Artist's depiction]]

Chris seems to find the sight of bare male chests extremely unappealing and even offensive. In the [[April 2010]] video message [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Men Should NEVER be Topless]] he strongly insisted all men should wear bras and said he would actually make it a [[law]]. It is likely he makes this claim in a shallow attempt to appear straighter than [[straight]].

Despite saying that other men's chests are ugly, he has [[Chris and hypocrisy|no problem]] depicting [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|himself]] [[:File:CWCFlex.jpg|shirtless]], ''without'' the bra, as in his ideal self-image his manboobs are non-existent and thus need no such support.

In the real world, though, Chris presumably finds his muscle bra to be a necessity, given his [[Chris and health|unusually large breasts]]. Due to his [[Chris and art|inability]] to differentiate differences in the anatomy of other human beings, Chris may see it as necessary for other males to cover up as well - or, more likely, he simply wants to rationalize the fact that he needs one because of his big breasts by encouraging people who do not need one to wear one as well, thus hiding the actual reason for him wearing his fashionable sports bra. Chris could have gone for the non-gay route of covering his chest by wearing a wife beater but [[Mailbag_48|apparently he has no idea what that is]].

Chris clearly liked wearing a muscle bra so much that the same month [[For_J-R's_Eyes_Only.MOV|he gave us a better look in a video]]. One might assume that the clean white bra here is a different one from the pale gray one in the photos, implying that Chris has bought multiple bras. Given that things never get cleaner in the Chandler household, only filthier, this seems a safe assumption to make. We already know from the below email that Chris bought one set of sports bras in a three-pack, and due to his notorious cheapness we have no reason to think he did not do the same with the second set of bras. This suggests Chris has at least six bras. Chris also reveals in the video in question that he wears bras with a band size of 42. His cup size is unknown at this time.

In [[June 2010]] Chris went to [[Fridays After Five]], where he continued to carry out his campaign against exposed manboobs among the general public by wearing his muscle bra to the event. It seems that Chris has also found another use for muscle bras, demonstrated by vandalizing his bra with a marker pen and converting it into an [[attraction sign]]. Whereas most normal people would perhaps draw on a T-shirt to make their point, Chris has devised a seemingly superior method of [[Love Quest|making his]]. That's right: for a woman to have read his statement of intent to engage in a romantic and sexual relationship with her, she'd have to have stared at one of the more disturbing outward pieces of evidence that he ''just doesn't understand how those relationships work'', which may or may not be a poetic microcosm of his entire fucking life since puberty.

Chris may have actually had a fetish for wearing women's underwear longer than we think. Likely, the fetish began when [[Blanca]] made him dress in his [[mother]]'s undergarments. For a period, he seems to have struggled with his urges — one image, drawn around the [[Ivy]] [[Saga]], inexplicably shows [[Punchy Sonichu]] wearing a bra — and since he did not buy his sports bra until later in the year, we can only conclude that he was wrestling with his desire to steal his mother's underwear to support his manboobs.
{{clear}}

==The bra e-mail==
The following e-mail was leaked in October 2009, along with a series of illustrative photos. The identity of the recipient has never been publicly revealed.

(omitted stuff)...

{{quotebox|[[Stress]] causes Memory Loss sometimes. At least I undid the hacker who got into my [[YouTube]]. 

Also, I did my shopping today; I haven't been able to draw or color today yet, but I will set some time tonight. I got my copy of [[Guitar Hero|G.H.5]], my new 3-in-one-printer, and I found the sports bras at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]]; 3-packs for $10 a pack. In leiu of going into the fitting room, I asked the nearby female employee to measure my [[Wikipedia:Brassiere measurement|bust size]]; I'm a 43. So I got a 3-set of 42; I've been wearing one for try... It is sooo comfortable, and my manboobs do not bounce as easily; I jumped a few times to see. OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin. It's like a [[sex toys|Guitly Pleasure]] or something. 

Anyway, I got my exercise in today. I also went to [[McDonald's|McD]], [[Wikipedia:Toys "R" Us|Toys 'R' Us]], [[Wikipedia:Sheetz|Sheetz]], [[Wikipedia:Food Lion|Food Lion]] and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] for applications; NO PAPER APPLICATIONS! OMG, it really [[Family Guy|ground my gears]] to realize that. Although at Target, I was not totally surprised; I went straight to their computer station and filled in their application online. But EVERYONE IS LIKE GOING DIGITAL WITH NO PAPER TRAIL; It Sucks! This is even WORSE Than that CRAPPY PowerWeb at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]].

Yes, you have read correctly, I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT DAMN, [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris on PowerWeb ("Why PowerWeb STINKS on Ice")|STUPID POWERWEB!]]<ref>{{CWCipedia link|TwoMarys#Mary_Lee_Walsh|TwoMarys on CWCipedia}} Chris seems to hate the PowerWeb because it's a pet project of [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and he was too dumb to understand how to use it.</ref> Even in it's pre-released Over Advertising, which was TOTALLY UNECCESSARY. Every time I was FORCED into using that Damn System, I was always reluctant, and I had to use my Student ID No., which I HAD NEVER CARED TO MEMORIZE; I only glanced at a few numbers at a time upon entry, and "In One Ear And Out The Other" with that soiled piece of what would have been valuable information. You said I was the first person you met to Hate Kenneth; well, I'm probably the first person you met who Always Loathed the PowerWeb since its PreBirth. 

<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

But I digress... and this bra feels sooo good.

Something else, I'll forward you an e-mail I sent to [[Kacey]] last night after our conversation to best start another concern of mine. 

I'll TTYL, 
Stay Safe, 
Chris.
}}

==Gallery==
===E-mail images===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-little-teapot.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-creepy-stare.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-with-crossed-arm.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Animated gifs===
[[Image:127193894817.gif]]
[[Image:127193932971.gif]]
[[Image:127193992465.gif]]
[[Image:127193999352.gif]]

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Gaybian]]
*[[Tomgirl Pictures]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5645734 Chris's bras at Wal-Mart]
*[http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090727052138AAL0i56 Chris's inspiring others to revolutionize men's fashion!!111]
{{CWC-isms}}
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Talk:Shojo Beat

2011-01-31T07:11:20Z

AntonImaus: Created page with "Should we just crop the image so we can use the relevant parts? --~~~~"

Should we just crop the image so we can use the relevant parts? --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 23:11, 30 January 2011 (PST)

Anime

2011-01-31T07:08:50Z

AntonImaus: /* See also */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]]]]

'''Anime''' is a colloquial term for Japanese animation. Chris enjoys the artform as well, although it's not his primary obsession. He's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[Image:Uncle_Go.jpg|thumb|Go Nagai, or as mecha anime fans call him: Uncle Go. He is the total opposite of Chris in the anime and manga realm, and has the creativity of a thousand men. He does more in a decade than most mangaka and writers can hope to do in a lifetime. Also note that he's a sharp dressed man.]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokémon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by [[2004]] he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in [[2005]], but hasn't been back to a convention since then. (He considered a trip to Baltimore's Otakon convention in 2010, but primarily as a way of meeting [[Jackie]] in person.) In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''Crayon Shin-chan'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "very-close-to-nude girls" (even bigger shock).

Chris still rips off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "harem" comedy-drama ''Shuffle!'' in [[2009]]; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early [[2010]], doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around November 2009, Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Pokémon and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until the fifth issue of the series, which he completed in the spring of 2006. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] A better example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork. (Still shit, mind.)]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''[[Daniel Mimms|Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo]]'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from ''Dragon Ball''.
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''Fullmetal Alchemist'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''Inuyasha'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan Schroeder's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': Simonchu and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': In made-up Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
* ''Yu Yu Hakusho'': Chris's Zap Cannon attack in [[Sonichu 10]] bears an uncanny resemblance to the protagonist's Reigan attack.

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...alot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
# The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
# The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
# The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
# Everyone turns to orange tang juice
# Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
# The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even remotely depressing.
# Asuka freaking out (I don't wanna die).

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]
*[[Shoujo Beat]]

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Anime

2011-01-31T07:08:35Z

AntonImaus: /* See also */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]]]]

'''Anime''' is a colloquial term for Japanese animation. Chris enjoys the artform as well, although it's not his primary obsession. He's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[Image:Uncle_Go.jpg|thumb|Go Nagai, or as mecha anime fans call him: Uncle Go. He is the total opposite of Chris in the anime and manga realm, and has the creativity of a thousand men. He does more in a decade than most mangaka and writers can hope to do in a lifetime. Also note that he's a sharp dressed man.]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokémon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by [[2004]] he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in [[2005]], but hasn't been back to a convention since then. (He considered a trip to Baltimore's Otakon convention in 2010, but primarily as a way of meeting [[Jackie]] in person.) In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''Crayon Shin-chan'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "very-close-to-nude girls" (even bigger shock).

Chris still rips off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "harem" comedy-drama ''Shuffle!'' in [[2009]]; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early [[2010]], doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around November 2009, Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Pokémon and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until the fifth issue of the series, which he completed in the spring of 2006. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] A better example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork. (Still shit, mind.)]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''[[Daniel Mimms|Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo]]'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from ''Dragon Ball''.
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''Fullmetal Alchemist'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''Inuyasha'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan Schroeder's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': Simonchu and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': In made-up Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
* ''Yu Yu Hakusho'': Chris's Zap Cannon attack in [[Sonichu 10]] bears an uncanny resemblance to the protagonist's Reigan attack.

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...alot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
# The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
# The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
# The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
# Everyone turns to orange tang juice
# Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
# The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even remotely depressing.
# Asuka freaking out (I don't wanna die).

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]
*[[Shoujo_Beat]]

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

JK Productions

2010-12-13T19:54:58Z

AntonImaus:

[[Image:JKReginald.png|thumb|200px|Reginald the anteel, in all his bizarre glory.]]

In August of [[2008]], [[Chris]] excitedly endorsed a new blog that was supposedly the official journal of '''JK Productions''', a company claiming to be developing ''[[Sonichu]]: The Game''. Juxtaposing 'screenshots' of absurdly basic in-game features with artwork that was far superior to the [[Sonichu (comic)|source material]] and annotated by a hyper commentary, the blog was nonetheless shrewd enough to convince some (not least Chris) of its authenticity.

That was until September, when, on the basis of an alleged cease-and-desist order from [[Nintendo]] and Sega, [[pickle]]-happy pictures of character redesigns were premiered. Sonichu was replaced by 'Reginald' (also the name of Chris's [[Reginald Chandler|imaginary son]]), an upper class anteater/eel hybrid. Rosechu was similarly replaced by an 'anteel' - specifically, a Village People inspired, boner-sporting anteel. Finally, Chris-Chan himself was replaced by a sassy, female reimagining which he no doubt [[mass debating|fapped over]].

Shortly thereafter, JK Productions claimed to have broken ties with Chris altogether, in disgusted protest at the [[Sonichu 8|Spring Break Issue]];

[[Image:ChrissyChan.png|thumb|left|130px|]]

{{quote|He certainly has a point that we should encourage women's rights...to bear arms! It is advisable to keep this man a great distance from the nearest vagina.Do not be so down, for there is some good news too. You see, JKProductions has acquired the trademark for Sonichu, making him our official property! Christian Weston Chandler's "Sonichu" comics, should henceforth be recognized as an, *ahem*, poorly done fan-comic (laughs.)|JK Productions, being lulzy.}}

Chris was left to sheepishly admit to being trolled and return to harassing Nintendo executives.

A partial archive of the blog can be found [http://www.sendspace.com/file/zz085p here].

==History==
[[Image:JKRosechu.png|thumb|left|150px|UFOOOOO~!!! IT'S HARDOGAAAAY~!!!]]

On [[2008#August|17 August 2008]], Chris updated his website that was previously dead for a year with a new entry echoing the demands of his latest video, in which he calls for all the Sonichu fans to storm Nintendo and Sega with requests that his character be given official merchandise. He also promises the finale to this season of Sonichu within 6 months, and a new series starting next year.

Normally this may seem a trivial update in the adventures of CWC. However, with this post he released a new blog dedicated to Sonichu: The Game (at http://sonichugame.blogspot.com, now deleted and not archived) made up of mostly "fan art", with a few of his own pictures accompanying [[Wikipedia:Masahiro Sakurai|Sakurai]]-like updates to the game's progression.

[[Image:Jk controller.png|thumb|"Chris Spent over 9,000 hours in ms paint to provide us this diagram of a ps3 controller."{{cite}} ... "image courtesy of Christian Weston Chandler. Behold! The home entertainment controller, perfected."]]

The blog may seem to be fake as it is somewhat legible unlike his main page. However, he directly links to the blog on his updated tripod website. Obviously, someone made the website and then sent him a link, so the site is run completely independent of Chris. Wherever it's headed, it's sure to be lulzy.

On [[2008#September|5 September 2008]], '''the official Sonichu game blog''' revealed what many people had suspected: that it was the work of an elaborate troll. In a post claiming that SEGA and Nintendo had slapped 'production' with a cease and desist order, the resident blogger offered his redesigns of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; an [[Reginald|upper class]] and a Hardgay impersonating anteater/eel hybrid respectively. That Chris would condone such radical alterations of his 100% totally original characters is enough to raise eyebrows, but a more-than-fleeting inspection of 'Reginald' - Sonichu's reimagining - shows that he is armed with that appendage Chris dreads most, i.e. a [[pickle]]. Oh, and Rosechu's equivalent has a beard and a boner, I suppose that's worth mentioning as well. A follow-up post was submitted on 6 September 2008, featuring a redesign of the big CWC himself. Chris is convinced that JKProductions was not a troll and continued to endorse their blog as the 'Official CWC Approved Sonichu Video Game Blog' on both his website and [[YouTube]] account until the demise of the former. He has never had the faintest idea as to what [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jk "JK" stood for.]

== Game art ==

<gallery>
Image:Hurrr1 color.jpg|"Here are some masterful drawings by our very own Artist and CSIII practitioner: Mike Sandy" ... "Sonichu, having beaten the snot out of a Jerkop, strikes a cool pose.."
Image:Japchu.jpg|"The conceptual profile of Sonichu. These are subject to alterations."
Image:Hurrr2 color.jpg|"Sonichu in the act of kicking a jerkop square in the face! Ouch."
Image:Hurrr4 color.jpg|"Sonichu is just too extreme for this angry jerkop."
Image:Hurrr3 color2.jpg|"Could this be? Sonichu is really zapping to the extreme!"
Image:Jerkhieg.png|"Of course, the Sonichu game will feature bosses of many shapes and sizes. Allow me to introduce you to one of them." ... "This is the [[Jerkhief|jerkop]], he is quite large, no? He dislikes virgins, as well as Sonichu. He will attack them both on sight."
Image:Sonichugameee.png|"Ah, very large indeed. He is very lazy too! Instead of fighting, he sends his [[jerkop]] minions to do his dirty work."
Image:Jerkops.png|"Look out! The poor jerkhief is much to large to move on his own! Should you wear him down..."
Image:Ohgod.png|"Oh my... H-he really knows how to get around!"
Image:Title screen.png|"Most games for the PC feature title screens, and sonichu is no exception to this..."
</gallery>

[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Chris and religion

2010-12-07T21:39:53Z

AntonImaus: /* Atheism */

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1st Corinthians 13:11, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, hatred, intolerance, [[Nudes|pornography]] and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with; most Catholic churches are called after a saint, or a divine epithet such as "Sacred Heart", "Holy Name", "Blessed Virgin", etc.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]], also in this pic, BLASPHEMY!]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|Radar sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions. This would technically make him closer to a [[Wikipedia:Unitarian|Unitarian]] than a Methodist.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle paul rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of St. Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
[[Image:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|right|Jesus's reaction to Chris's antics]]

{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, [[Mailbag 30#Questions|with his own theory]].}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all Seven Deadly Sins===
[[Image:Pope face palm.jpg|thumb|right|His Holiness's reaction to Chris's commission of all Seven Deadly Sins.]]

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of [[sex toys]] and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]). He's even gone so far as to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3]] in an attempt to gain money.
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the [[Internet]], Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household chores is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris and anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos]]exuality is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]! [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2020:6&version=NIV Leviticus 20:6]''' "I will set my face against the person who turns to Mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people." Chris has claimed to hear the voices of [[Aunt Corrina]], his [[Cherokian Clan|other]] [[Daniel Weston|ancestors]], and GodJesus at the former's funeral, all giving approval to his [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[china]].<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

However, when Christianity first became a religion, Saint Paul came up with the new covenant, so all the bits about circumcision, sacrificing goats, eating a kosher diet, and other Levitical laws no longer apply. Anyone who claims to be a Christian and still follows the Levitical laws isn't really a Christian so much as an ultra-orthodox Jew, or a [[Wikipedia:Seventh-day Adventist Church|Seventh-day Adventist]]. There are a few ultra-fundie Christians who follow some of the old Leviticus laws due to a passage on Matthew, but all of this is irrelevant in the first place since Chris neither reads the Bible or seriously cares about Christianity.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]]. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue 7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the accumilitive memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he describes himself as a "Lamb of God." Jesus Christ is commonly referred to as this by many Christians.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith.
===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].
===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Other than not being Christian, he probably hates Muslims because he's enough of a dumbass to likely believe all Muslims are terrorists because of 9/11, [[Twin Falling Towers|which he mocked]].

===Atheism===
[[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from Autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and religion

2010-12-07T21:39:32Z

AntonImaus: /* Atheism */

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1st Corinthians 13:11, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, hatred, intolerance, [[Nudes|pornography]] and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with; most Catholic churches are called after a saint, or a divine epithet such as "Sacred Heart", "Holy Name", "Blessed Virgin", etc.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]], also in this pic, BLASPHEMY!]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|Radar sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions. This would technically make him closer to a [[Wikipedia:Unitarian|Unitarian]] than a Methodist.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle paul rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of St. Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
[[Image:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|right|Jesus's reaction to Chris's antics]]

{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, [[Mailbag 30#Questions|with his own theory]].}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all Seven Deadly Sins===
[[Image:Pope face palm.jpg|thumb|right|His Holiness's reaction to Chris's commission of all Seven Deadly Sins.]]

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of [[sex toys]] and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]). He's even gone so far as to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3]] in an attempt to gain money.
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the [[Internet]], Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household chores is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris and anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos]]exuality is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]! [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2020:6&version=NIV Leviticus 20:6]''' "I will set my face against the person who turns to Mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people." Chris has claimed to hear the voices of [[Aunt Corrina]], his [[Cherokian Clan|other]] [[Daniel Weston|ancestors]], and GodJesus at the former's funeral, all giving approval to his [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[china]].<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

However, when Christianity first became a religion, Saint Paul came up with the new covenant, so all the bits about circumcision, sacrificing goats, eating a kosher diet, and other Levitical laws no longer apply. Anyone who claims to be a Christian and still follows the Levitical laws isn't really a Christian so much as an ultra-orthodox Jew, or a [[Wikipedia:Seventh-day Adventist Church|Seventh-day Adventist]]. There are a few ultra-fundie Christians who follow some of the old Leviticus laws due to a passage on Matthew, but all of this is irrelevant in the first place since Chris neither reads the Bible or seriously cares about Christianity.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]]. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue 7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the accumilitive memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he describes himself as a "Lamb of God." Jesus Christ is commonly referred to as this by many Christians.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith.
===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].
===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Other than not being Christian, he probably hates Muslims because he's enough of a dumbass to likely believe all Muslims are terrorists because of 9/11, [[Twin Falling Towers|which he mocked]].

===Atheism===
[[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from Autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we haven't died yet.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

John Tesh

2010-12-01T04:40:18Z

AntonImaus: /* References by Chris */

[[image:Johntesh.jpg|thumb|right|John Tesh, a man so dull we can't even come up with a snappy caption for him.]]
'''John Tesh''' is an American musician and radio personality, famous for his unusual blandness. His ''John Tesh Radio Show'' has aired on many soft rock and adult contemporary stations since 2003, and [[Chris]] seems to have been a regular listener since the early days of the program.

The show's format intersperses music with trivia and advice from Tesh on a variety of subjects. Tesh's romantic advice appears to have had the most influence on Chris. In particular, the [[third date|three-date rule]] has come up in his reams of dating advice, which may be where Chris picked up the concept (and subsequently ran with it).<ref>[http://www.tesh.com/ittrium/visit?path=A1xc797x1y1xa5x1x76y1x240dx1x9by1x2412x1y5xbe6bx5x1 Tesh.com: New Rules of Attraction]</ref>

Chris catches the Tesh show on his favorite local radio station, Z95.1.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>

==References by Chris==
*Chris quoted several "dating tips" he picked up from Tesh in the seventh issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]''.
*In an e-mail to [[Megan Schroeder]] from October 2007, Chris mentioned that he had learned from Tesh about the potential dangers of Crocs footwear.
*In the prelude to his last [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|conversation with Julie]], Chris mentioned some hygiene tips he picked up from Tesh.
*In his [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|YouTube sermon on Leviticus]] from March 2009, Chris referred to Tesh as one of his sources of dating advice.
*During his first [[Mumble 1|Mumble fan chat]], Chris was listening to the Tesh show.
*During his first [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call with Jack Thaddeus]], Chris was also listening to the Tesh show.
*In [[Jackie Chat 3]], he takes Tesh's advice on wearing green to a job interview.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:John Tesh|Wikipedia article on John Tesh]]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Tesh, John}}
[[Category:People]]

Cosplaying

2010-12-01T03:44:34Z

AntonImaus:

[[File:0658-ANIME513.JPG|thumb|Chris dressed as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his mary-sue counterpart]] in [[2005]].]]

'''Cosplay''', short for "'''costume play'''", is a type of performance art in which a person dresses up as a character or idea. The practice is commonly seen in the [[anime]] fandom, but can also be seen in other fan realms such as [[video games]] and [[Captain's log|Star Trek]]. [[Chris]] was first seen in cosplay attire with the famous [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume. Any attempts at cosplay are usually rare, however a major wave of cosplaying by Chris, presumably to impress/amuse [[Jackie]], appeared in the late [[2010]].

It should be noted that the costumes are created at his home using construction paper, markers, paints, and anything else he can purchase in the craft section of a [[Wal-Mart]]. They are crude interpretations of the original image he is attempting to portray and most seem put together quickly and with little effort. Most of the costumes barely resemble the characters Chris is trying to mimic. The only costume he appeared to put any effort into was his [[Sonichu]] form, in which he painted his face and body along with constructing a few minor details to make the look complete. This shows a complete lack of interest in actual cosplay itself unless it is depicting one of his creations or deep interests.

==Ash Ketchum cosplay==
[[Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg|thumb|left|[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Pimp mah riiide!]]]]
[[Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|thumb|That hat is pretty goddamn dirty]]

Chris appeared in his [[Wikipedia:Ash Ketchum|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally <s>created</s> purchased or made by [[Snorlax]] as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref name="ReferenceA">[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the [[2004]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against five kids dressed up as [[Wikipedia:Team Rocket|Team Rocket]]. The prize was a T-shirt.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|Television footage]] of Chris playing [[card games]] with little kids while dressed as Ash was also featured on his [[DVD]].

For a while, Chris resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]] and eventually evolved into the [[Chris and fashion#The "Gay Trucker" outfit|Gay Trucker]].

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* ''Pokémon League'' ballcap
* Fanny-pack (Also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)

The ensemble was usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' T-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below). Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his [[obesity|obscene girth]]. Nevertheless, it remains as his best cosplay yet, and the only one that helped him win anything.

{{clear}}
<center><gallery>
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg|
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|
</gallery></center>

==Jackie and cosplay==

{{quote|At least I am doing this and I have myself a woman, so there. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. Especially these videos.|Chris}}

[[File:ChrisChanCosplayMR.jpg|thumb|The master costumer at work]]

On 16 [[September 2010]] Chris uploaded a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video of himself depicting Mr. Popo]] from the ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' series, stating that the cosplay and song was for his girlfriend. At the end of the video we learned that it was indeed for his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]]. At first this seemed like a typical Chris move to impress a girl in the possible hopes of getting [[china]]. Apparently, either by Jackie urging him to do more or by Chris noticing that his [[sweetheart]] found amusement in his costume play, this was only the beginning.

We wouldn't again see Chris's efforts to amuse his beloved until 2 [[October 2010]] when Chris releases the video [[I like Mary Poppins]]. Though simplistic and crude, the idea that Chris is trying to portray is indeed a form of cosplay. This was just a tiny hint of what was to come the following day when Chris uploads a video attempting to be [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]]. In this video he prances around insanely yelling "Robble robble robble" repeatedly in a quickly put together costume. Several other videos followed of Chris depicting everything from famous [[music]]ians to [[trolls]]. Not until the [[ECV 00002|Sonichu Transformation video]] would we be officially told, by his own mouth, that Chris was doing this for Jackie's amusement.<ref>[[ECV 00002|Sonichu Transformation video]], section 2</ref> Though it may just seem like speculation, it seems that any cosplay video starting from the original Mr Popo was influenced by Jackie in some way.

Most of his costumes during this period were made haphazardly and probably with whatever Chris had laying around his room. The majority are made out of construction paper taped or tied onto himself and quickly colored on. This is probably a result of his laziness and general lack of effort, though he usually seems satisfied with his work output (the "[[100 2279|considerably weak video]]" being a notable exception).

Characters Chris has cosplayed as during this period:
*[[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]
*[[McDonald's|Hamburglar]]
*[[McDonald's|Grimace]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[Liquid Chris]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] (though just vocally depicted)
* A member of [[100 2269|Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band]]
*A [[Cherokee]]
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
*Fred Flinstone and [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] (the latter in the same costume but with a different 'head')
*[[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]] (a new low, with just a DVD case over his face)
*A [[Harry Potter|wizard from Hogwarts]]
*A [[niggo|"gangsta"]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:ChrisPapa.JPG|Flexing his PaRappa muscles
File:ChrisGroucho.JPG|Chris as Groucho Marx
File:ChrisJuffalo.JPG|As a Juffalo
Image:Niggocwc.jpg|CWC as [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr Popo]]
File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|CWC tries to look like the [[McDonalds|Hamburglar]], but he comes off as an even creepier version of [[Soul Calibur|Voldo]].
File:Grimace.jpg|As the Evil Grimace
File:Chriscash.jpg|As [[Clyde Cash]]
File:Ohboy.jpg|As a member of [[100 2269|Sgt. Pepper's Virgins With Rage Band]]
File:Liquidd.jpg|As [[Liquid Chris]]
File:Indiann.jpg|As a [[Cherokee]]
File:Super-mode.jpg|Chris in his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|super-mode.]]
File:ChrisFredFlinstone.JPG|As Fred Flintstone
File:ChrisHomerFlinstone.JPG|As... Homer Simpson-Flintsone?
File:ChrisAsCleveland.JPG|As Cleveland Brown. Ingenious.
File:ChrisWizard.JPG|From Hogwarts. Learnin' spells n' yeah.
File:128679185214.png|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
*[[Liquid Chris]]
*[[Robert Simmons V]]

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Cosplay|Cosplay]] at [[Wikipedia]]

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Anime

2010-12-01T03:32:21Z

AntonImaus: /* Chris and anime */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]]]]

'''Anime''' is a colloquial term for Japanese animation. Chris enjoys the artform as well, although it's not his primary obsession. He's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[Image:Uncle_Go.jpg|thumb|Go Nagai, or as mecha anime fans call him: Uncle Go. He is the total opposite of Chris in the anime and manga realm, and has the creativity of a thousand men. He does more in a decade than most mangaka and writers can hope to do in a lifetime. Also note that he's a sharp dressed man.]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokémon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by [[2004]] he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, though, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in [[2005]], but hasn't been back to a convention since then but has recently expressed interest in going to Otacon which is held annually in Maryland. In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''Crayon Shin-chan'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "very-close-to-nude girls" (even bigger shock).

Chris still rips off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "harem" comedy-drama ''Shuffle!'' in [[2009]]; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early [[2010]], doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around November 2009, Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Pokémon and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until the fifth issue of the series, which he completed in the spring of 2006. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] A better example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork. (Still shit, mind.)]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''[[Daniel Mimms|Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo]]'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from ''Dragon Ball''.
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''Fullmetal Alchemist'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''Inuyasha'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan Schroeder's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': Simonchu and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': In made-up Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
* ''Yu Yu Hakusho'': Chris's Zap Cannon attack in [[Sonichu 10]] bears an uncanny resemblance to the protagonist's Reigan attack.

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...alot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
# The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
# The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
# The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
# Everyone turns to orange tang juice
# Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
# The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even remotely depressing.
# Asuka freaking out (I don't wanna die).

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Anime

2010-12-01T03:25:11Z

AntonImaus: /* Anime Chris has ripped off */ Actually, Zap Cannon is a move in the Pokemon games

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]]]]

'''Anime''' is a colloquial term for Japanese animation. Chris enjoys the artform as well, although it's not his primary obsession. He's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[Image:Uncle_Go.jpg|thumb|Go Nagai, or as mecha anime fans call him: Uncle Go. He is the total opposite of Chris in the anime and manga realm, and has the creativity of a thousand men. He does more in a decade than most mangaka and writers can hope to do in a lifetime. Also note that he's a sharp dressed man.]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokémon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by [[2004]] he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, though, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in [[2005]], but hasn't been back to a convention since then. In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''Crayon Shin-chan'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "very-close-to-nude girls" (even bigger shock).

Chris still rips off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "harem" comedy-drama ''Shuffle!'' in [[2009]]; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early [[2010]], doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around November 2009, Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Pokémon and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until the fifth issue of the series, which he completed in the spring of 2006. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] A better example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork. (Still shit, mind.)]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''[[Daniel Mimms|Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo]]'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from ''Dragon Ball''.
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''Fullmetal Alchemist'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''Inuyasha'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan Schroeder's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': Simonchu and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': In made-up Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...alot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
# The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
# The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
# The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
# Everyone turns to orange tang juice
# Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
# The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even remotely depressing.
# Asuka freaking out (I don't wanna die).

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

File talk:Miyamoto saga.png

2010-11-23T07:20:40Z

AntonImaus: Created page with "Racist or not, this sprite doesn't even look like him. I'll provide a better one when I'm given the chance. --~~~~"

Racist or not, this sprite doesn't even look like him. I'll provide a better one when I'm given the chance. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 23:20, 22 November 2010 (PST)

User talk:Reimu H

2010-11-23T07:15:53Z

AntonImaus:

I love you, Reimu. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:58, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

So did you end up being a stripper, like you said in the Mailbag? --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 23:15, 22 November 2010 (PST)

User talk:Reimu H

2010-11-23T07:15:38Z

AntonImaus:

I love you, Reimu. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:58, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
So did you end up being a stripper, like you said in the Mailbag? --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 23:15, 22 November 2010 (PST)

PS3

2010-11-23T07:07:45Z

AntonImaus: /* The PS Move of Fail */ Keeping it neutral. Because Nintendo invented motion-sensored controls, right?

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Sony playstation 3.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s orginal "life upgrade." He wanted to win one in a contest, so he made [[Pixelated PS3|a video]] where he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]]. He would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with taxpayer money from his [[monthly tugboat]], using one of his many collected credit cards. In [[August 2010]], following [[PS3#Molestations_and_other_PS3_damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[PS3#Good_night.2C_sweet_prince|destroyed]] his life upgrade.

Chris's replacement '''PS3''' is his second life upgrade. Despite ceremoniously "[[The_MovingFoward_videos|MovingFoward]]" only a few days before, Chris could not live without his life upgrade, and so reportedly wasted yet more of [[America]]ns' tax dollars replacing it. He was earning new trophies with it by the second week of September 2010. May the frivolous [[PSN]] spending and hacking drama continue.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation emails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he has even bought upgrades to games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$3405.22''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===

The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. He was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when he still had a few other outlets for entertaining himself outside his home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], though (and he might also have been binging to get over his "breakup" with Megan Schroeder, which happened that same spring). Likewise, it's perhaps not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from the PLACe in the summer of 2008, he began spending a good deal more money on the PSN.

In light of the second wave of [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}

=== Trophies ===

According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 12 November 2010, Chris has 1321 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

The games where he had over 50% progress so far include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|48
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
|''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
|All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
|''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the God of War Collection.
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s Ultimate Genesis Collection''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the Sonic ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 4 Episode I''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| Apparently, a demoscene production. ''Not'' remarkable. Most people already had 1000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have got 100% in Gunstar Heroes, but IRL he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
| "Junior" says it all.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls
|11
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain
| 10
| 100%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''One hundred percen—!'' ...Oh, it's four trophies for four levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Chris thinks this game is up there among greatest games ever made, with likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>[[Brutal Legend Plus]]</ref>
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. Note that the end of the game reveals the main character to be [[Christian Weston Chandler|a stalker]]. It is, however, worth noting that Braid is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''God of War''
|33
|82%
| Most of the trophies are simply earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under 5 hours.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
|
|-
| ''The Price Is Right''
|11
|76%
| Another real [[sonichu|masterpiece]] of hi-def gaming
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D Sonic title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
| \m/ [[Britney Spears]]! \m/
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
|10
|71%
|NUMBLAST is a [[homos|colorful]] Japanese puzzle game
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen]]''
| 8
| 57%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|UNO]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Seriously?
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===

As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiian]].

==Fanboyism==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|TgE0By-LYMQ}}</center>

{{quote|So… good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And… LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is]]}}
{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call... My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]
On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability connect his PS3 to the internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty... just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over 3 years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but fortunately this did not go to plan and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive, but it's more likely that Chris [[Autism|wasn't even listening]] to the things the representative was saying, being more concerned with being able to use his life upgrade again as soon as possible. This dubious series of events was disputed by CWC experts, who suspect that Chris may not have been his [[List of Chris's lies|TRUE and HONEST self]]. However, his PSN account activity suggested he had indeed deleted fucking everything.

==Destruction==

[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]]]]

On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained [[The MovingFoward videos]] where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

It was revealed [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|through a series of e-mails]] that Chris had destroyed his beloved Life Upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a (fake) troll reward of $9,001. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea more, destroying nearly $5,000 in his greed.

== The Rebirth ==

[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his [[Tito and Clyde emails]] that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

== The PS Move of Fail ==

[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|right|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]]

It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii_Remote_of_Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I_put_on_my_Wizard%27s_cloak_and_magic_hat|wizard video]].

==Other oddities==

Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in [[Brutal Legend]].</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
*[[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - a video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
*[[List of Chris's games]] - detailing his entire game collection.
*[[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
*[[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
*[[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempt to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
*[[PS3 History Level]]
*[[PSEye]]
*[[PSP]]
*[[PSN Blogs]] - an archive of Chris's posts.
*[[Sonichu Home Club]] - because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
*[[Sony]]
*[[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - the Kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
*[[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Jiggliami

2010-11-23T06:59:22Z

AntonImaus: /* Creation */ Kinda of irrelevant

{{quote|Baka Dana Watashi! It's the war of love!|[[Jiggliami]]'s song "War of Love"}}
{{quote|After this concert we will be superstars! We can have any man we want!|Jiggliami to [[Blanca]] before their breakout concert}}

[[Image:Jiggliami.jpg|thumb|Chris-Chan traced his former girlfriend's drawing, resulting in a copy of a copy]]

'''Jiggliami''' is [[Blanca Weiss]]'s "original" character that Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008|claimed]] after she broke up with him. Note the irony and [[hypocrisy]] in this action, considering he can steal other people's characters willingly, but when it comes to his characters being stolen, he gets butthurt. Also in [[Episode 18]], it is hinted that she was [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]'s girlfriend while he was still a regular [[Pikachu]]. Fortunately, we are spared any [[sex|flashbacks of the conception of an Igglybuff]].

Her first appearance in the comics was [[Episode 18]], during the "spring break" escapades. She is first seen with Blanca, who is presumably her manager or plays guitar for her… or something, the two have an inane conversation about energizing the crowd and how after the concert, they'll be famous enough that they could [[Love Quest|get any man they wanted to]]. The conversation ends with [[Blanca]] alluding to her [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|heart's desire]] being trapped in [[Time Void|another dimension]].

Later on she finds the comatose [[Blake]] after his… encounter with [[Silvana]], and then [[Magi-Chan]] and Jiggliami inform [[Bubbles]] that Silvana is posing as Blake. Later on, Jiggliami sings her song "War of Love" to the cheers of the audience, but before the song she states that she's missing her old [[Sonichu (character)|Pikachu boyfriend]].

Ever since the breakup with Blanca, Jiggliami is no longer a main character and she does a talk show on [[KCWC]] alongside [[Lolisa]] and [[DJ Jamsta]].

In the [[Blanca E-mails]] she is given some bullshit history about wishing on a star and somehow getting turned into the anthropomorphic abomination seen in the comic, but Chris never mentions this. Within the comic Jiggliami just shows up with no explanation as to how and why a humanoid Jigglypuff exists.

==Creation==
[[Image:Jiggy.jpg|thumb|left|Blanca's drawing, in and of itself a crude copy of the character on the right]]
[[Image:Ranka_trace.jpg|thumb|Ranka, who is in turn a [[Pedofork|loli]] version of Lynn Minmay. So Chris has done a copy of a copy of a copy?]]

The original illustration by Blanca has a striking resemblance to both a screencap and illustration of [[Wikipedia:List of Macross Frontier characters#Ranka Lee|Ranka Lee]], a character from the [[anime]] ''[[Wikipedia:Macross Frontier|Macross Frontier]]'', which means Christian further degraded the quality of the original, Xerox-style. The characters are both pop stars, and share many other attributes such as their "up-and-coming" status and inane, bubbly songs. To be fair to our autistic hero, mecha anime is probably not [[Wikipedia:Cuteness in Japanese culture|kawaii]] enough for his tastes, so he probably never has even heard of the series; so how would he know he was tracing a trace? Still, ''damn''.

There's a small bit of irony, though, in that ''Macross Frontier'''s main character is a former [[Wikipedia:Kabuki|kabuki]] actor who played female roles, much like men playing women in old-school [[Wikipedia:William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]] productions. To make matters even funnier, the anime also had a comic relief [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|flamboyantly gay]] character. Maybe it's for the best that Chris doesn't know about this.

[[Image:Jiggliami Jigglypuff x Sonic by KawaiiKitsune123.jpg|thumb|left|Blanca's second drawing]]
The lyrics to the song Jiggliami was singing were also ripped off (and mercilessly butchered) from a music video by [[Wikipedia:Supercell_(band)|Supercell]] using the Japanese [[Wikipedia:Vocaloid|Vocaloid]] character [[Wikipedia:Hatsune Miku|Hatsune Miku]].

If this whole situation sounds familiar, well, it is: [[Simonla]] originally was a creation of a another "[[Evan|fan]]" that was in turn a, ahem, "[[parody]]" of another animu character, exactly like Jiggliami.

Jiggliami is a knockoff of the following:

* [[Amy Rose]]
* [[Wikipedia:Jigglypuff|Jigglypuff]]
* [[wikipedia:Ranka Lee|Ranka Lee]]

==See also==
*[[Simonla]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Anime

2010-11-23T06:57:28Z

AntonImaus: I'm going to oblige to the "keep it neutral, retard" rule

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]]]]

'''Anime''' is a colloqial term for Japanese animation. Chris enjoys the artform as well, although it's not his primary obsession. He's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[Image:Uncle_Go.jpg|thumb|Go Nagai, or as mecha anime fans call him: Uncle Go. He is the total opposite of Chris in the anime and manga realm, and has the creativity of a thousand men. He does more in a decade than most mangaka and writers can hope to do in a lifetime. Also note that he's a sharp dressed man.]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokémon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by [[2004]] he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, though, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in [[2005]], but hasn't been back to a convention since then. In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''Crayon Shin-chan'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "very-close-to-nude girls" (even bigger shock).

Chris still rips off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "harem" comedy-drama ''Shuffle!'' in [[2009]]; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early [[2010]], doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around November 2009, Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Pokémon and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until the fifth issue of the series, which he completed in the spring of 2006. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] A better example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork. (Still shit, mind.)]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''[[Daniel Mimms|Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo]]'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from ''Dragon Ball''.
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''Fullmetal Alchemist'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''Inuyasha'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan Schroeder's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': Simonchu and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': In made-up Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
* ''Yu Yu Hakusho'': Chris uses the protagonist's Reigan attack, calling it "Zap Cannon", in [[Sonichu 10]].

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...alot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
# The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
# The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
# The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
# Everyone turns to orange tang juice
# Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
# The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even remotely depressing.
# Asuka freaking out (I don't wanna die).

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

FullHouse

2010-10-26T06:35:42Z

AntonImaus: /* Transcript */

'''Fullhouse''' is a video where Chris sings the [[Wikipedia:Full_House|Full House]] theme with [[Gitar of Fail|pretend guitar accompaniment]]. Not surprisingly, he doesn't sing it so much as he slurs it to the point where it's hard to tell whether he even got the lyrics right or not.

==Watch==

{{Infobox/video
| name = FullHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Gv2ed1EfSG4}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style =
| shirt = [[Image:Greenwidestripeshirt.png]] The Swamp Monster
| previous = [[WeighIn]]
| next = current
}}

===Transcript===

Whatever happened to predictability
''[Chris performs a dramatic glasses removal, then puts the glasses back on.]''

The milkman, the paperboy, evenin teevee

''[incomprehensible]'' somebody tell me please.
This whole world's confusin' meeeee… eee…

Clouds as mean as you've ever seen
And a bird who knows you're too
And a little boy sings inside you whisperin'
Kids don't sell your dreams, don't sue

Everywhere you look
There's a heart
A...hand to hold on to

Everywhere you look
There's...a face
Of somebody who needs you

When you're lost out there and you're all alone
...waiting to carry you home

Everywhere you look

Everywhere you look

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[WeighIn]]|nextlink=current}}
{{Music Videos}}

Metal Gear

2010-10-25T07:28:52Z

AntonImaus: /* See also */

<center>{{#ev:youtube|p03W5ElzdGI}}</center>
[[Image:Chrisslitsthroat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris [[Don't Mess With Me|using CQC]] on [[Clyde Cash]] while wearing the [[Chris and fashion|Red-Blue Stripe]] camoflage]]
[[Image:Torture.jpg|thumb|right|"We live in a sad age. [[YouTube]], [[PSEye]]s, [[For Julie's Eyes Only|leaked]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|videos]]... [[1990s]] [[Internet]] had its share of [[trolls]], but at least they had no streaming video. Internet today makes things too easy."]]

Being that '''''Metal Gear Solid''''' is [[Clyde Cash|so cash]], and most veteran [[trolls]] emerged from the depths of [[4chan|/v/]] (where [[Fapcup|wanking]] to [[Wikipedia:Big Boss (Metal Gear)|Big Boss]] is mandatory), several ''MGS'' references have emerged. Even [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] has made some possibly unintentional nods to the franchise. [[Vivian]] has also proclaimed her love for [[Jason Kendrick Howell|Liquid Snake]].

==Allusions made by trolls==

[[Image:Maryleewalshpatriot.png|thumb|The picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh|Big Dean]] featured in the "Good Fan Art" article at [[CWCipedia]]]]
* [[The Miscreants]] are an obvious [[parody]] of [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#The Patriots|the Patriots]], except while the Patriots specialize in (con)trolling the world, the Miscreants' main field of interest involves manipulating and monitoring the [[saga|sagas]] and events of a certain [[Chris|autistic manchild]].
:The Miscreants' codenames all go along the lines of, "The (x)". This is a nod to ''[[Wikipedia:Metal Gear Solid 3|Metal Gear Solid 3]]'', where one must face [[Blanca|The Pain]], [[Sarah May|The Fear]], [[Ivy|The End]], and [[Julie|The Fury]].
* "Liquid Chris" was the codename for [[CChanSonichuCWC]], noting that [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]] was Solid Snake's genetic twin and enemy who had inherited the recessive genes of their father Big Boss and was therefore led to believe himself inferior, with the irony being that Liquid Chris excelled in everything Solid Chris does.
* Chris's appearance resembles Big Boss in the fan comic "Sonichu Finale".
* [[Wild Sonichu]] was crafted into a Solid Snake lookalike for a scene in episode 7 of ''Sonichu: The Animated Series'', where he makes TRUE and HONEST love to a cardboard box.
* [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] goes by the e-handle "Liquid Snake".
* Some of [[User:Lime/Clyde vs. Chris: Day by Day|Clyde's messages to Chris]] contain footage from the series.

==''MGS'' and Chris==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|left|Big Boss appeared in ''[[Sonichu 8]]'', but was mauled by faggotry]]
[[Image:KNOWTHEDIFFERENCE.JPG|thumb|[[Sonichu 8|It really could]]]]
*[[LittleBigPlanet#Metal Speed Solid|Metal Speed Solid]] is one of the ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' levels made by Chris. Yes why, it's really bad.
* Gecko and Mantis are shown as chefs in [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]. While physically deformed [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|mutants]], their names are reference to the [[troll]] Gecko Mantis, who got his name from the elite bio-mechanical robot originating from ''MGS4'', and Psycho Mantis, a psychic soldier appearing in ''MGS1'' and briefly in ''MGS4''.
* [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was portrayed similar to Big Boss, with brown hair, a headband and an eye patch. For a while, it was assumed that Chris browsed /v/ for three seconds, saw a Big Boss picture and decided it was close enough, despite Big Boss and Liquid Snake (Jason's e-alias) being radically different characters. Later, Jason revealed that Chris saw an old picture of him with an eye patch on [[Myspace]]<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY A Jason Retrospective Part 2]</ref>; which makes a bit more sense, as Chris wouldn't go near any place as drunky or somkey as /v/.
* Wild sneaks into the [[4-cent garbage.com]] company headquarters, which is apparently full of empty red corridors. Chris may be making a subtle joke at ''Metal Gear Solid'''s typical bland military bases. Or, far more likely, he is too [[Stress|stressed]] to include enemies, or details. {{clear}}

==Notes==
Christian has purchased ''Metal Gear Solid'' from the [[PSN]]; however, he most likely has not touched it because he's too busy playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', ''[[Brutal Legend]]'', ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' or ''Wheel of Fortune'' and the fact that [[Sonichu Special 4|sneaking behind enemies instead of attacking them head-on]] is too stressful for him.

Also of note, ''[[Wikipedia:Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots|Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots]]'' is not listed as one of the best PS3 games according to Chris, even though it has sold over five million units, making it the best-selling PS3-exclusive title to date.

==See also==

[[File:Chuhoundlogo.jpg|thumb|The [[True and Honest]] ChuHound logo]]

*Les Enfantes [[Autistic|Autiste]]:
[[Solid Chris]] | [[Liquid Chris]] | [[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]
*Operation [[Duck]] [[Homos|Eater]]:
[[Bob Chandler|Big Boss]]/[[Nudes|Naked Chris]] | [[Barbara Chandler|EVA]]/[[Obesity|Big Mama]] | [[Mary Lee Walsh|The Boss]] | [[Greene County Conspiracy|The Philosophers]] | [[Monthly Tugboat|The Philosopher's Legacy]]
*[[Chaotic Combo|ChuHound]] [[Honor Roll|Special Ed.]] Group:
[[Joshua Martinez|Revolver Jocelot]] | [[Magi-Chan Sonichu|Psycho Chantis]] | [[Silvana|Dickgirl Octopus]] | [[Flame the Sunbird|Flaming Raven]] | [[PandaHalo|Sniper Panda]]
* [[White Knight|Philanthropy]]:
[[Anime Mid-Atlantic|Otacon]] | [[Sandy Rosechu|Sandy Gurchukovich]] | [[Allison Amber|Nastasha Romanenko]] | [[Ching Chong|Mei Ling]]

*Locations:
[[CWCville|Outer Heaven]] | [[RuleCWC|ZanziCWC Land]] | [[4-cent garbage.com|Shadow Garbage Island]] | [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Big Shell]]

*[[Daniel Weston|Chris Plissken]]
*[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Cyborg Pickle]]
*[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|FISSION MAILED]]
*[[Random-access humor|I NEED SCISSORS! 61!]]
*[[Son-Chu|Metal Gear CWC]]
*[[Crackder|Metal Gear IBA]]
*[[The Miscreants]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri5sRCd-LNs METAL LOVE SOLID 3: STRAIGHT ANGER]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdhYYH1_5SQ CWC 4 - Puns of the Patridiots]

[[Category:Video Games]]

CWCki:General

2010-10-05T10:56:33Z

AntonImaus: /* getting rid of the fan works section */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

*[[CWCki:General/Archive 1|Archive 1]]

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Da update is used for Chris updates...but what about other updates? ==
For example, I don't think the Lucas video game pictures should be on the update, but it should be noteworthy. Should it placed in da update or no? Also if you're wondering what pictures, I'M WORKING ON IT. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:33, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:Where should I stick the pictures? I uploaded them with Lucas commentary on them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:42, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
::I think either the list of Chris's games article or the video games article. Leaning towards the video games article, if only because the list article is already pretty damned huge. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:07, 10 September 2010 (PDT)

== Image purge project ==
According to the Spongepedia (also hosted by dreamhost), 500 internal server error may be caused by TOO MANY IMAGES. In any case, I'm sick of seeing shitty images that do nothing to enhance articles as well. please tag images that are useless on their talk pages for deletion. kthx [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:45, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
*Based on what you told me about the Spongebob wiki, their problem was also due to image size. Perhaps if we work on resizing images down to less than 30kb?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:34, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::Eh, the 500 errors are a configuration/setup issue. I highly doubt images are the root cause. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:44, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
:::No, it's a general agreed consensus that the 500 internal server error is occurring more often nowadays. It has to do with an increasing amount of SOMETHING. I'm going by this only lead right now. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:09, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::::I mostly get 500 errors on pages that are large - that is - the body of text is large. Images really seem to have a negligible effect on whether a page 500's for me or not. We should think carefully about whether going about an image purge will largely be a wasted effort and/or do more harm than good towards error fixing (generating more edits - which may also form part of the problem). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:06, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Overlooked interview? ==

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed on the talk page for [[Chris-chan_Discusses...]], the subject of a previous interview was brought up, and Champ said he didn't want to put it on until they had a youtube version for it. A year later, someone did. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR_PrPHC2l0 The video doesn't have many views, and I don't believe it has an article for it. I'm not sure if any of this is relevant, but I wanted to draw attention to it in case it needs an article or some other mention.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 06:03, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris and diligence article? ==

Christian's work ethics and his laziness are rightfully infamous, but there isn't an article dealing with it en detail. I'd make it myself but due to stress and my poor grasp of English I'd rather hear the opinions of others on it before making a crappy attempt. --[[User:Maximilian Graves|Maximilian Graves]] 07:58, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
** Strangely enough, I was thinking the same thing. Though with how lazy he is, the article would probably grow to be almost as large as the article on sex. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:04, 15 September 2010 (EST)

== My response to the site administrator. ==

Just a few days ago, a member of our forums decided to claim that we were involved in attacks on your wiki. We were notified by the administrator of your site on a locked topic supposedly thanking us for our actions placed on PSPownsYou (or PBML) and also requested action on another supposed participant named Level1isbest. I just want to point out that we have no intention of harming your site and that the involved parties are a bunch of fucking trolls, but then again every person on Newgrounds does it for the lulz, not including school shootings (Jeff Weise). Sorry for any inconvienence. [[User:Tateos|Tateos]] 16:25, 15 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris and Morality Page==

Though his morality has been mentioned on several other pages, I think it would be best to have one page dedicated to his morality, or lack there-of, and where it comes from, mainly his ego. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:07, 15 September 2010 (EST)
: Frankly, if it's coming from his ego, it should be mentioned on the [[ego]] page. This is, however, unless there's enough to justify a major Chris and page.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:37, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
:: I don't really think Chris's morality needs its own page, as it would end up being a documentation of all the times he's been a horrible person (huge list), and all of the reasons behind it (troll speculation). These issues are already covered rather in depth on Chris's own page, the White Knighting page, the pages on Chris's Lies, Things Chris Has Ripped Off, Women's Rights, Homos etc. I feel a page purely about what a bad person he is is redundant (and self-evident besides). [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 09:46, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== so i did some spring cleaning today. ==
http://www.mediafire.com/?q6dsbzkgteqxpp6 - and then i realized it was autumn. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 17:44, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:Does the great Clyde wish for these to be uploaded to their appropriate articles? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:49, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

::No, I want them to stay in this link forever and never be posted on the CWCki. Ever. EVER. This is the reason why I posted on the CWCki, to ensure that would happen. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:50, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

I was doing some spring cleaning too, little cuz! I was going through my emails and then suddenly i stumbled upon this pic of CWC that WallFlower gave to me awhile back! As The Ancient Hawaiians used to say: A clean coconut is a clean soul. http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/7886/cwcinkilt.jpg [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 17:58, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:lol at the Marge Simpson poster - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:23, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

== Tugboat icon I made for Donations ==

[[File:Tugboat_donate_icon.png]] Enjoy!
[[User:Shiny|Shiny]] 13:31, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
*Include your CWCki username with your donation and you'll receive a SPECIAL, LIMITED EDITION user box for your page and you'll receive a "si a pretty cool guy" quote from yours truly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:23, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

So hey, I wanted to donate some shinies but my PayPal only gives out my dox rather than my CWCki username. I'll set up a new PayPal account in a bit. Gmail's the best way to go about it, right? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:26, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

== Faithfulness ==
Is there an article on Chris and his faithfulness to his "sweethearts", cause I was just skimming through Sonichu 10 where he claims Blanca is his true and honest sweetheart, but he's married in the future to Lovely Weather and slept with her, not to mention Meg? And that's probably not the only example one could think of. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 22:31, 29 September 2010 (EST)
*Just about every Sweetheart article showcases how unfaithful Chris is.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 15:32, 30 September 2010 (PDT)

== getting rid of the fan works section ==
it's just a drag on our servers. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:54, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:if anyone wants to argue against deleting the fan works section, speak up now plz. hurry! [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:32, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
::If it'll keep away the server errors then tear it down, burn the remains, and salt the earth. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:03, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
:::The section is bullshit that should have been killed months ago. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 19:26, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
Wasn't there plans for a wiki dedicated to fanworks? Whatever happened to that? For that matter, why is the fanworks section still up at all? Cogsdev wanted it trimmed several months ago.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 00:41, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:http://789chan.org/cxc/ [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:12, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
Can you give us an idea for an exact date for the deletion? I'd like to go through and save everything. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 20:22, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:I'll save it all in a zip file. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:24, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

There's hardly anything left that's worth keeping. I say go for it.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 20:44, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:Dunno guys, [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Fan:Choose_Your_Own_Adventure this for example] is ace and I'll miss it. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 01:59, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

In that case, move the Mailbag References page out of the Fan category. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 03:56, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

User talk:Bobsinthekkk

2010-09-26T04:57:35Z

AntonImaus:

== Da Update edits ==

Please stop re-adding the paragraph about the prank call to Da update. I've added a link to the call onto the template in far less spammy fashion. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:48, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
:hey stop trying to push your bullshit. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:47, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
::Oh and don't try to hide your talk page messages or anything. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:56, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
Sry it won't happen again I promise.

http://789chan.org/cwc/res/6115.html

You want to know what was wrong with the call, these guys can explain it pretty well.

Man it was one of our first videos christ cut us some slack. we all start somewhere don't we.

*Sign your post. After all this do we really need a Prank Call Page? It seems that to generate abundance of insufferable fags thinking it should be on DA UPDATE. An old white man being racist isn't some amazing discovery. [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 18:56, 24 September 2010 (PDT)

Fuck Clyde and all the elitest fags who think trolling is a way of life your all nothing more then 20 year olds in front of your cpu's thinking your hot shit but really your nothing in the real world.

...wtf? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Someone]] 18:59, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

This is coming from two faggots trying to gain our approval. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 21:57, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

== Your edits... ==

If you're Chris, lurk moar.

If you're somehow Bob, leave now, old man.

If you're a white knight, just leave.

Just saying. The comments you leave are both in the wrong places and unsigned. Just shut up while you still can. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:06, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

Gregg Mays E-mails

2010-09-24T04:35:44Z

AntonImaus: /* 1/7/09 */

==Sonichu.Net Redesign for Nintendo Please Reply ASAP 1/6/09==
{{quoteboxred|Hello, Mr. Christian Chandler

I am [[Gregg Mays]], hired by [[Nintendo]] to redesign your website in order to prepare the [[Sonichu]] promotion for [[Animal Crossing]].

This is the design that was approved by the administration over at Nintendo.

I'm planning on updating most of the website tonight. Let me know when is the best time for me to update the site.

Do not worry, I will include a helpful guide on how to update your site with comics and messages after the redesign.

Sincerely,

Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|I see. But please clearify for me; you sent me an image that would have appeared on Nintendo.com; are you updating Nintendo.com or asking to update [[Sonichu.net]]?

Please Clearify, and I will work with you on this.

Peace,
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|Also, my Australian [[Sweetheart]], [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]] is trusted with the information around Sonichu.net, as well as her own created Sub-Domain for Sonichu.net, The Offical Sonichu and Rosechu Fan Site; I advise checking in with her as well on the reconstruction; maybe even inprove her Fan Site. Her e-mail address is pandahalo@gmail.com.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

This is Gregg Mays.

Nintendo would like to host all Sonichu related materials on Sonichu.Net while keeping the Nintendo design. If you do not like the Nintendo design, I can work with Nintendo on updating or revising.

Please get back to me asap, I would like to install some databases to set up the forums by tonight.

Sincerely,

Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|It's cool; I just wanted to get a better understanding of the situation. I will still be able to make my updates to Sonichu.net that I have planned and any future ones as well, correct? If that is the case, I wish some of your recommended HTML code in notepad format, in addition to your guidelines. I appreciate Nintendo's input in the project, and I approve you of your work that you were hired to do. Please also send me the links to all pages related in this.

Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

The update process is done through PHP while the design itself is CSS. There will be a form that will allow you to make news posts as well as add new sections and subsections to the website. This is why I must install a database for your website in order for these new updates to take place. You will no longer have to use HTML, instead simply login to a form to update your website.

Right now, I must first install a database.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|Okay. I await your completion, and information on how I can log in and do what I need to do.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

To further clarify the updating scheme, here is a pictoral representation of what my plan is.

I will be using the base coding from Nintendo as an example.

1: Current location of the user.
2: Home page
3: Section
4: Subsection

You will be able to edit the home page (although Nintendo would like to use a promotional Sonichu and Rosechu Animal Crossing front page until its release), edit or add new sections and subsections through a form.

It is a very simple system that I plan to implement and hope to do a test run tonight.

I will need to update your website to add a database and need your help to test the implementation.

I will also need a separate username and password as your official account for the new system.

I have taken it upon myself to convert your entire website into this new format (skeletal, meaning there may be some HTML errors, but easily fixable)

If you wish to make any changes after the test run is complete, feel free to do so.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

Could you please send a response within the next hour so I may begin work. Thank you.

Also, Nintendo has received notice of your AC video on your YouTube account.

They would like for you to make a promotional video including:

Introduce yourself.
Promote and explain Sonichu.
Promote and explain Rosechu.
Promote Animal Crossing: City Folk.

Sincerely,

Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

I have done everything I can on my end of the website. I have finished the updating system which you may take a look here. Please supply a username and password for you to demo the system and the details for Sonichu.Net so I can update your site with this system. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

I assume you are busy and will get back to me with the details ASAP. I was planning on bringing up the forums tonight; however, since I assume you are doing other important duties at the moment, I will let you get back to me tomorrow.

I apologize for springing this on you so fast. I just need to get this work finished.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

==1/7/09==

{{quotebox|Thank you for understanding, Gregg. I had to get [[biological_clock|my daily amount of sleep]], but all is green for you. Please make my username for the new thing, "sonichuchandler", and the password to be "nutmeg"; I'll change it later.

As for the password for the tripod account that hosts the pages of Sonichu.net, I understand your need to update it as well, but I don't wish to disclose the password so easily. I feel it adequate if you check in with my Sweetheart and partner, Sarah, on pandahalo@gmail.com; I have informed her of your cooperation in the project. She is capable of identifying e-mails from people, and she has an excellent "Sixth Sense" (if you will) in emotionally determining the true people from the [[trolls]] she and I had to deal with. She also has the current password to the tripod account behind Sonichu.net; we've agreed on its recent, more complicated change mutually.

I hope this helps you in your work. Thank you very much.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear Mr. Christian Chandler

I have contacted Sarah and hope to receive a good response so I can work on the website later tonight. I plan to add the beta version of my blog/website updater and the forums, hopefully by tonight if all goes well. For now, I have some other clients I must work with. Please reply in about four hours if all goes well. Thanks.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|Mr. Mays, I thank you for getting in touch with Sarah. I have been busy today editing the pages of my previous and recent [[Comic]] Books. Earlier, I did think to check with the Lawer of Nintendo who I have been in good contact with and my associate behind Animal Crossing City Folk to verify you for trust.

I will get back to you with my decision of entrusting you with my Tripod password or not as soon as I hear from either of them, or Sarah.

Peace,
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear Mr. Christian Chandler

I'd really like to get working tonight. The lawyer of Nintendo is for Nintendo of Japan, correct? I was hired by Nintendo of America so I don't know about these people. Could you refer them to me so I can get them in touch with my employer?

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|The lawer I'm talking to is James Zylberstein of Nintendo of America.}}

{{quotebox|I've promised the edits and reuploadings of Past Comic Pages, and I am currently uploading the re-edited pages after a whole day of re-editing. So, with all due respect, my own personal routine and the routine-parts of my [[Autism]], I'd like to finish updating the pages and Sonichu.net as I have previously promised James, Mr. [[Miyamoto]] and the rest of Nintendo of [[America]] and Japan, before I entrust it to anyone else's hands.

I thank you for your patience.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

I understand, is it possible for you to finish tonight? I have a deadline to meet and I've set aside time for tonight. If not, that's okay, but really, this has been lingering in my mind for quite a long time. Sorry if that causes you trouble.

Sincerely
Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

I see what you are doing. I will make note to use the new edited version of the pages. I will not tamper with any of the images. I will only create new pages for them. I will do all the coding work. You just need to take care of the images and I'll handle the rest, does that sound good?

Sincerely
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|Okay, I understand better now what you'll be doing. I will have the work finished within an hour estimated; I will e-mail you again when I am finished.}}

== 1/8/09 ==

{{quotebox|I apologize again for the delay. I am finished with my promised edits. I will entrust you; the password is 0urD4uGHt3r_[[Crystal|cRySt4L]].

Don't disappoint me, and do what you have planned.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

Alright, I will put up a temporarily index page informing people of the change. Please allow me around two hours to install the new software.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Something has gone wrong. I can not access the site anymore.

Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|I just got work that my job has been suspended for this client (you). Apparently the lawyer has told me that they did not finalize issues with [[Sega]] before realizing the website was initiated. I can not help you with this, I'm just a web designer. You need to speak with your lawyer to explain the [[copyright]] issues to Sega. If this ever gets cleared up, I'll get your website back up as good as new.

Sincerely, Gregg Mays}}

== You've disappointed me, sir. 1/8/09 ==

{{quotebox|Because only YOU, other than Sarah Cassandra McKenzie and myself have the Password for my Tripod account; NO ONE ELSE should have been able to access the account and put the .txt file on there. I'm not pointing fingers here, but you are pretty much the main suspect in the matter.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

I did not put the files on there, Tripod must have acted with Sega on this. I do not know anything more of this matter. I'm not much of a legal guy but you have a lawyer right? Just clarify the copyright issue and everything should be fine.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|I do not have an attorney of my own; the only attorney I have been in contact with was Nintendo of America's Attorney, James Zylberstein. And I have informed him of this dilemma.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

I'm sorry about this copyright thing, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding between Nintendo and Sega, I checked your video on the [[YouTube]]. I didn't see a mention of Sega, maybe you should do that. That'll ease tensions. I gotta head back to the wife and kids. Take care, man.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

It seems you have the copyright thing under control. I can restore your site as I made a complete backup if you want. I'll be able to install some forums and get that new form system up tonight.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|Yes, I have the Copyright thing under control. PLEASE RESTORE SONICHU.NET back to the way it was, RIGHT NOW! And what did you change the Tripod password to?}]

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

I did not change the Tripod password. I will restore it as soon as possible.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|Thank you; you have less than two hours.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

I can't seem to access the site anymore. I can't work on it unless I gain access to it.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

Until you sort out these copyright issues, I'm afraid I can't help you. Tell me when you do, you'll be Numero Uno on my priority list.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

== I KNOW 1/8/09 ==

{{quotebox|I KNOW that you are REALLY a Troll, as my Lawer at Nintendo of America has Confirmed for me. SEGA has NO INTENTIONS of Suing me for any infringements, he has also informed me of.

NOW LISTEN, SIR, I WANT YOU TO RESTORE ALL THE FILES YOU'VE DELETED FROM SONICHU.NET, THE SONICHU & ROSECHU FAN SITE, CWC'S POKESITE 2 AND THE OTHER CWC SITES THAT WERE ON THERE, OR I WILL HAVE MY LAWER, HIS PEOPLE OF NINTENDO AND THE PEOPLE OF SEGA, EVEN THE POWER OF MR. MIYAMOTO HIMSELF, BRING IN A TRACKING TEAM, TRACK YOU DOWN, AND FORCE YOU TO RESTORE SONICHU.NET AND ALL, WITH A CRUEL, BEATING-UP, TERRIBLY PAINFUL PUNISHMENT!

YOU DO NOT WANT TO REMAIN ON MY BAD SIDE; MY FANGS ARE SHARP, and I can thirst for blood, even though I am Cherokee, NOT a vampire.

Also, that txt file letter you left is a FAKE, I KNOW!

PUT SONICHU.NET AND ALL SITES ALONG WITH IT BACK ONTO THE TRIPOD ACCOUNT, RESET THE E-MAIL BACK TO MINE, OR I WILL BRING DOWN A WRATH OF GOD UPON YOU!}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler,

I do not have the power to change the e-mail or password. If you allow me to access the account, I can restore the entire site back to the way it was before Sega managed to tamper with your site. I can foolproof the site as well.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear Mr. Christian Chandler,

Please look at this proof of concept I had made earlier.

http://greggmays.tripod.com/what.htm

There must have been miscommunication within Nintendo. They are a large company. I am a hired employer outside of Nintendo for the sole purpose of web design. I have a backup of your site, I can restore if you want.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|I have allowed access for you to get into my Tripod account after I impulsively entrusted you with the password. And at the time, you were able to change the e-mail address associated with it and the password. I am hardly buying your likely stories. But you should talk to my Nintendo Lawer, J.Z. at jzylberstein@lawyer.com. RESTORE SONICHU.NET and ALL FILES AND FOLDERS WITH IT!}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear Mr. Christian Chandler,

The lawyers should be talking to you soon. Once they do, I will begin work on the website.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Look, thanks to a mistake on Sega's part, I've lost my job and now I can't feed my kids for the next week. I offered to restore the site but you wouldn't let me so the client (you) has been lost and my employer just fired me.

I am crying right now. Thanks.

Gregg Mays}}

== 1/9/09 ==

{{quoteboxred|My employer just allowed me one chance to get my job back, I have to satisfy the client (you) and restore your site. I can't do this without the access code to your website.

Please let me restore it.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|Access Code? I know only of my old password, which I had entrusted into you; I have no idea about an Access Code. If you can tell me how I can find this Access Code, I will inform you of it.}}

{{quoteboxred|I mean password, I do not know the password to the site. The only way I can restore the site is by getting the password to the site. Please let me know of what the new password is.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quotebox|The password should be 0urD4uGHt3r_cRySt4L.}}

{{quoteboxred|It says:
Sorry, but the username and password you provided don't match. Please check them and try again.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear, Mr. Christian Chandler

Please reset the password on your account and give it to me to restore your site.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

== 1/10/09 ==

{{quoteboxred|I cannot restore your website unless I can gain access to the Tripod account. Without it, I am unable to restore your site. I'm sorry.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays

PS, I have lost my only chance to regain my job so I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart. Please, let me make things right.}}

{{quotebox|I feel for you, and I wish I could help, but I can't do anything about the password problem. And if I could, I would certainly be glad to help you help me and yourself. Please tell your employer that your customer pardons the job, and wishes that you not lose your job over it.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear Mr. Christian Chandler

Thank you for your kindness. Right now, I'm on probation but I think it should be good for me. Let me know if you ever get access to your website and I will restore it immediately and then some. I will do the promised upgrade and I will work ever harder than ever. Thank you so much.

Sincerely,
Gregg Mays}}

== It is I, Jason Kendrick Howell! If you ever want to see your beloved site restored, you must meet my demands. 1/12/09 ==

{{quoteboxred|If you ever wish for me to hand over your beloved website, you must announce your [[homos]]exuality to YouTube.

You must not reveal that I told you to do this, otherwise you will never see your site restored!

You must detail how you've been kept in the closet for so long, your search for a sweetheart as a cover up and why Sonichu is so gay.

Toodles, 
[[Metal Gear Solid|Liquid Snake]]}}

{{quoteboxred|You must be angry! Of course, you could always make a video proclaiming how straight you are.

Either choice, gay or straight, which will it be?

Liquid Snake 
"BROTHER"}}

{{quotebox|If I make a video with a proclimation, will you give me the new password you associated my Tripod Account with?}}

{{quoteboxred|Of course, I may be an evil troll, but I never go back on my word. I have principles.

Love, Liquid Snake}}

{{quotebox|Very well; I will have the short video up soon.}}

{{quotebox|It is being processed; and it has been fully uploaded. Now please send me the password, and ALL of the files for Sarah's Sonichu & Rosechu Fan Site in a Compressed Zip Folderin your reply.}}

{{quoteboxred|SEVEN SECONDS!??! I am disappointed in you.

This is not a fair deal! I expected a 20 minute explanation of why you are straight and not gay.

I still think you are the biggest homosexual in the world so do many others, just look at your Youtube comments. You're doing yourself a favor if you make a REAL video.

Love, Liquid Snake}}

{{quotebox|Fine, if you want a full 5-10 minute explination, I'll redo the video.}}

{{quoteboxred|The longer it is, the better your fans will believe it. Look at those comments, my god, they are ruthless!

Love, Liquid Snake}}

{{quotebox|The video is being uploaded; it is about ten minutes long. Please Send me the Password and ALL of Sarah's Sonichu & Rosechu Fansite Files in a Compressed Zip Folder after viewing the video for yourself.}}

== It is uploaded 1/13/09 ==

{{quotebox|and currently being processed. PASSWORD, Sarah's Sonichu & Rosechu FanSite Files, NOW!}}

{{quoteboxred|Alright, just one last thing before we part ways once again.

I will hand you the password to the rar and your site (which are the same) if you just make a video...sigh...it's a long story...

I recently lost both my parents in a car accident. I want you promise me that you will cherish your parents. They are important in your life. And I want you to appreciate it.

I want a short, maybe two minute video, with your parents having them explain why they are so proud of you and your accomplishments.

Despite all of us trolls, your parents have been there every step of the way. They must be proud of you.

Kinda sad now,
Liquid Snake...}}

{{quotebox|I understand, and I will have it done soon.}}

{{quotebox|And I do appreciate my mother and father every day. I offer my condolences and humble apologies for your loss.}}

== 1/15/09 ==

{{quoteboxred|Chris! IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, BROTHER!

I have just watched your newest video. Hah! You can't denounce that page!

You know every last word of it is true.

FACE IT, YOU HAVE NOTHING! NOTHING!

ENJOY YOUR 4-CENT GARBAGE.

Love,
Liquid Snake }}

{{quotebox|HA! Have you tried YOUR password on the Tripod account yet? IT WILL NO LONGER WORK! }}

== 1/16/09 ==

{{quoteboxred|I just tried it, it worked!

So, you know. Whatevs, dawg.

Love, Liquid Snake}}

== 1/17/09 ==

{{quoteboxred|I am not [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], my true name is [[Clyde Cash]].

The big brother of [[Ryan Cash]].

Do you understand me?}}

{{quotebox|VERY INTERESTING, I will note "Clyde Cash" as your Nickname, among my PRINTED/WRITTEN INFORMATION I HAVE OF YOU when I go to the [[Police]] Department to REPORT YOU.

Hey, DO ME A HUUUUUGGGGGEEEEE FAVOR; Stand in the middle of HEAVIEST TRAFFIC and GET RUN OVER!

I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS FOR YOUR DEATH, JASON KENDRICK HOWELL; BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, I left a Message; go check for it on your RING.}}

{{quoteboxred|I don't have a cell phone and I'm not Jason Kendrick Howell, I'm Clyde Cash.

What is wrong with you?}}

== The Truth (DO NOT REPLY) 1/27/09 ==

{{quotebox|I did not go to Redmond. I had NO Financial or Emotional Support from my family, local friends, my church's congregation, nor my attorney; they DID NOT BELIEVE that I was talking to the TRUE Shigeru Miyamoto; they refused to help me, because they cared about me. And I could NOT afford the Trip TO Redmond Alone at this time.

It's for the better anyway; consider how WIDE the scheduled appointment was spread throughout the internet, I was able to have a peaceful weekend, with the Trolls in some other world. I've already Informed Sarah about this, but I created a CD-R with my Sonichu Powerpoint Presentation and [[CADD]] Files for the [[Cwcville]] Shopping Mall, and a [[DVD]] with a LIVE reading of the Powerpoint and personal words, and shipped them to Mr. Miyamoto c/o N.O.A. So, basically, IRL in my person, I've been having a peaceful weekend, FREE from Troll and [[Internet]] worries. I had it shipped with Delivery Confirmation, so I KNOW it was delivered successfully on the 23rd.

Unfortunately, while I was hoping that would compensate for my being unable to make the trip, I had learned from N.O.A.'s auto-sender that they do not accept business materials via snail-mail, so the discs were discarded.

I have apologized to N.O.A. and Mr. Miyamoto, and asked him to send me a Hand-Written Document of the business between him and me via snail-mail, for me to present to my family, friends and attorney, so I could make the trip for real in the near future. My attorney would make the appointment.

There was chaos and confusion from the mix of Legitimate e-mails and Troll/Bully/Impostor e-mails, I had to play it safe.

I feel bad about this situation as well, because to Cover for my Family and Local Friends' Care and Concern for my safety and being, considering the possibility of an Impostor who could harm me if I made the trip at this time, I had to Half-Truth around. :(

Christian C.}}

These lead into the Clyde Cash E-mails.

Samantha Thaddeus E-mails

2010-09-21T21:12:45Z

AntonImaus: /* Hey, You. 10 - 11 July 2009 */

'''Samantha Thaddeus''', also known as Alex Hendroil and oxycleanfanatic2264, was the one to hack the [[PSN]] accounts and [[Club Nintendo]], which she later gave them up to [[Jack Thaddeus]].

Chris bitched to Samantha when his PSN accounts were hacked.

== Hey, You. 10 - 11 [[July 2009]] ==

{{EmailReply|
I KNOW you have taken my Yahoo account, and maybe my PSN account. GIVE THEM BACK TO ME NOW!!!
}}

{{Email|
Why should I?

btw who are you voting for mayor of [[cwcville]]?
}}

{{Email|
okay i give up,

yahoo account:
pass: HailHitler22

psn:
pass: HailHitler23
}}

{{EmailReply|
That's not funny. And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING, and [[BILLY MAYS|Billy Mayes]] was NEVER MAYOR; I was lying [[Sex toys|out my ass]] in a piece of past blackmail.

Your passwords have failed. I have a Detective working on my case against the likes of you, and I know you live in California; do not think I will not send him and his squadron your way. And I have True Friends by my side. SO GIVE IT UP FOR REAL; NO LIES.
}}

{{Email|
IT'S BILLY MAYS

GET IT RIGHT

also, the police don't give a FUCK about you and your psn besides, you have a problem. you spend way too much [[money]] lol
}}

{{EmailReply|
Well, Mr. Mayes could not care less anyway; you are a [[Naive]], Retarded Bastard. And you know WHAT, I've OFTEN confused Bill with That guy who plays Al on "Home Improvement". *Singing* "Home Improvement. Home Improvement. Starring Tim Allen. Billy Mayes. And all the other people."

[[Twin_Falling_Towers|Enjoyed your Earthquakes?]]
}}

{{Email|
..dude earthquakes kill people what the fuck is wrong with you

jesus christ you are a psychopath
}}

{{EmailReply|
Think what you will; you WILL still be punished greatly, unless you give me back my Accounts.
}}

{{Email|punish me baby, punish me all night long}}

{{EmailReply| [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264|http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eTBA_igLu0]]

Pleasant Nightmares, Naive Retarded Bastard.
}}

{{Email|
wow these insults sure make me horny as fuck, i'm so damn wet

you don't intimidate me.
}}

{{Email|
i finally got around to watching the video

it's MRS. HACKERRRRRRRRR to you, you fucking sexist bitch

also you're the naive retarded bastard lol
}}

{{EmailReply|
He who knows one is one himself. Dumbass.
}}

{{Email|
what the fuck does this mean?
}}

{{Email|
you don't know my name and you have no idea where i live lol gl
}}

{{EmailReply|
You are Alex Hendriol; you live in Sacramento, California at zip code 95821. I have informed my detective.
}}

{{Email|
i totally did not make that up on the spot
}}

{{Email|
oh man i saw this and it's hilarious

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n-mmb6LMEU&feature=channel_page</nowiki>

i'm now laughing lololo
}}

{{Email|
it's so damn catchy

HEY HEY YOU YOU
MISTER (it's still mrs BTW) HACKERRRR
}}

{{Email|
man you are a stupid face

i hate your stupid face so much
}}

{{Email|
you do know mewmew.net is a japanese search engine right?

HEE HEE! rip michael jackson}}

== okay 12 [[July 2009]]==

{{EmailReply|
What do you want from me? What will it take for you to give back to me control of my Japan, Hong Kong, Spain, France and German PSN accounts? Anything within God-Given Reason. What do you want?
}}

{{EmailReply|
If I do this ONE THING for you to get my accounts back, you HAD BEST give them back to me Honest and For True. I have [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] on my side.
}}

{{Email|
the same god and jesus that told you that [[ivy]] was your true and honest wife to be?

i mean, why the hell do you want your psn accounts back?
}}

{{EmailReply|
Because without the ability to access the accounts online, I am unable to copy some of the downloaded content from my PS3 to my PSP, such as the XISai PSOne demo, the UmJammer Lammy game, and Creatures 3, as well as other things. Or even being able to play those items on my PSP if I can't access the accounts to activate the PSP with. Plus, I have 400 Yen in the Japan account.

I have a HISTORY with the accounts too big to measure. Please have a heart and give the accounts back to me by listing the e-mail addresses and matching passwords you've changed the accounts to.
}}

{{Email|
it's just [[video games]]

besides, 400 yen is only 4.32 american, you could earn more than that in an hour at work
}}

{{EmailReply|
Look, just give me back the accounts, Pretty Please.
}}

{{Email|
do you think being nice will work? are you retarded?
}}

{{EmailReply|
Look. I'm tired from the [[stress]]; you are tired of playing; let's just end this cherade. Give me back my PSN Accounts.
}}

{{Email|
you told me to [[Death threats|hang myself]]

I THINK I WILL LOL

THEN YOU'LL NEVER GET THEM BACK LOLOL

but seriously you're not getting them back
}}

{{EmailReply|
I never said that; you are putting words into my mouth.
}}

{{Email|
please watch the [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264|video you made]] again

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfbFnB9jWcs&feature=channel_page</nowiki>

look at the 1:05 mark

carefully.
}}

{{EmailReply|
I respectfully withdraw that remark, and [[Chris and remorse|I apologize for having outbursted with it]].
}}

{{EmailReply|
<nowiki>**Withdraw the remark from the video.</nowiki>
}}

{{Email|
whatever, i don't care

you're still not getting the accounts back
}}

== The last straw 7/12/09 ==
Chris began to go insane and spammed Samantha with over 100 e-mails.

{{EmailReply|Subject: And

Body: God will reign down with a Vengance upon you until you give me back my Japan, Spain, Hong Kong, France and Germany Playstation Network Accounts.}}

He did this 108 times.

At one point he sent the same message with a new subject of "I can do this ON and ON and ON and ON and..." implying he has all the free time in the world to do this since he doesn't have a PS3 to play.

{{Email|Chris, who do you think gave me the account information?

God is punishing you for ignoring important biblical commandments from the book of Leviticus.

11:10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of all the living creatures that are in the waters, they are an abomination unto you,
 11:11 and they shall be an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, and their carcasses ye shall have in abomination.
 19:19 Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with two kinds of seed: neither shall there come upon thee a garment of two kinds of stuff mingled together.
 19:27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
 19:28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am Jehovah.

I did not "hack" into your accounts, Chris. [[God and Jesus]] gave me a [[Dreams|dream]]. And in this dream, they told me your passwords. They said that you were wicked and guilty of the mortal sin of greed. I did not know this before, [[Chris and money|but two thousand dollars]]? God and Jesus are right. You deserve to lose this.

Especially considering the fervor with which you seek to reclaim it. Chris, greed is a sin. A grievous sin. And your greed is worse than any I have ever seen. [[Aunt Corrina]] is embarrassed of your behavior.}}

{{EmailReply|You did not receive anything from them in a dream; you got the info from someone like Jack Thadeus. NOW, You give me back my PSN accounts, and I'll call off the detective from finding and arresting you. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE; HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE. >:(
}}

Then Chris began a new line of message of "Give me back my Japan, Spain, Hong Kong, France and Germany Playstation Network Accounts. >:(".

He did this 74 time before giving up; however, intermittently during the messages, 17 different messages had the same body but carried a different subject which spelled out this:

{{EmailReply|
And Thou Shalt Not Steal 
And Thou Shalt Not Covet 
And Thou Shalt NOT Withold Stolen Information from its Original Owner 
And Thou Shalt NOT aid thine own Hell's Devils 
And Thou Shalt NOT continue Belaboring Stress upon that who you have Stolen From 
And Thou Wilst Return what thou hast stolen Immediately and Posthaste 
And Thou shalt respect and honor thy neighbor as thou's self; Respect CHRIST! 
And Thou Wilst Forgive he who Apologizes for trespassing with emotions of rage 
And Thou who hast sined against thine neighbor can ONLY be forgiven upon that which thou hast stolen from the son who has Jesus in his Heart Truly 
And Thou will not be forgiven if thee hast not forgiven thine self by returning that which thou hast stolen from unforgiving trespasses with bad emotions against thine neighbor with Christ truly in his heart 
And Thou wilst not be forgiven if thou continues to sell his soul to the devil in wrongest deals; thou will only be forgiven truly if thou returns the Accounts thou has stolen from the son of God who truly has Christ in his name and in his heart}}

== One last taunt ==
Samantha allowed Chris to hack her e-mail to which Chris used in order to lead into [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails]]. Chris tried to use this as leverage against her in one e-mail.

{{EmailReply|
YOU actually BELIEVED that Mockumentry? My friend and I made that with the Acting, just to kick you TROLLS IN THE GROIN! <nowiki>|</nowiki>:J

Also, how does it feel to be Trolled?
 Not so good, huh?
 Well then you may want to QUIT THE GAME.
 AND TELL YOUR ASSOCIATES THE SAME AS WELL. :D

I'm just gettin' started Bee-Otchie Samantha. <nowiki>|</nowiki>:J

Also, you only have a WORD-OF-MOUTH-LIE; when Invenstions Begin; NOTHING will come up. ALL establishment/business owners will be ALL like, "Who?" "I've never interviewed that guy." "I've never even HEARD of him." And so on, and so on, and so FUCKIN' ON. <nowiki>|</nowiki>:J

I'll be happy to return your OxyClean to you, in return for FULL SAFE RETURN of ALL of my Out-Of-US Playstation Network Accounts; ALL FIVE (5) of them. Japan's Reld_Nait; Hong Kong's PinkieSwear; Spain's PesoQuarter; Germany's Sonichu1, and France's Sonichu3.

And ONLY after successful log-in of ALL 5 accounts on my half, will I ship your OxyClean your way, "PLUS a Second OxyClean, FREE".

Check It!

Peace,
Christian C.
}}

==See also==
*[[Katie Bay E-mails]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mynuozcwhy3 Download]

[[Category:E-mails]]

Monthly tugboat

2010-09-17T21:13:54Z

AntonImaus:

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|Yet AGAIN I am waiting for my next tugboat from my Social before I can even pay a Website to Host me and grant me a better .com domain name than [[sonichu.com]]|Chris to [[Miyamoto]], complaining about how long his free money is taking}}

[[Image:Monthly_Tugboat.jpg|thumb|right|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s euphemism for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] check. Essentially, the United States government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments leave them unable to work. Contrary to what observers believe, Chris is not on Welfare,which unfortunately means he is not actually abusing the system.

Chris receives roughly $800 each month, with $450 going to his parents for room and board. The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]] or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $350 per month (about $11.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of Chicken McNuggets, gallons of Coke, and, since the summer of 2009, [[alcohol]]. As of [[2009#July|July 2009]], he owed at least $2000 in credit-card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents.

Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded tugboat, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy. This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].

[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|[http://www.autisticchild.org/autism-statistics This is true]]]

On the advice of his [[Bob Chandler|father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob is totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180 on his life, get off welfare, and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and his rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3).

Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an SSDI recipient could have earned from $700 dollars a month in the year 2000, when Chris was 18, to $1000 dollars a month in 2010 without losing a cent of their SSDI income.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligent ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total [[fail]]ure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. He's caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake pussies]], [[Flipnote Hatena|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].

If Bob's motivation comes from the reasonable realization that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he keeps unleashing him to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].

In the [[Father Call|father call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out". Clearly, Chris doesn't believe wasting his disability check on video games and porn will somehow aid in his moving out. He is well aware that he will inherit his family's home and that he will never need to work, and he plans to do both. In other words, Chris plans to keep getting his tugboat for the rest of his life.

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his 80s, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $900,000 to $1,000,000 over his lifetime (In this day and age however, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career). However, it's [[Chris and Health|extremely unlikely]] that his fat ass will live anywhere near that long.

==References by Chris==
*The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" comes in Chris's first e-mail to his brother [[Cole Smithey]], from March 2007. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.

*An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of [[Guitar Hero]] with his latest tugboat check.

*During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.

*In [[Mumble 1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.

*In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.

*The later months of 2009 and afterwards have seen Chris largely give up using the term "tugboat," possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the Mumble chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]] he refers to it as his "monthly income," while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34]].

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Monthly tugboat

2010-09-17T21:12:33Z

AntonImaus:

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|Yet AGAIN I am waiting for my next tugboat from my Social before I can even pay a Website to Host me and grant me a better .com domain name than [[sonichu.com]]|Chris to [[Miyamoto]], complaining about how long his free money is taking}}

[[Image:Monthly_Tugboat.jpg|thumb|right|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s euphemism for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] check. Essentially, the United States government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments leave them unable to work.

Chris receives roughly $800 each month, with $450 going to his parents for room and board. The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]] or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $350 per month (about $11.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of Chicken McNuggets, gallons of Coke, and, since the summer of 2009, [[alcohol]]. As of [[2009#July|July 2009]], he owed at least $2000 in credit-card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents.

Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded tugboat, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy. This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].

[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|[http://www.autisticchild.org/autism-statistics This is true]]]

On the advice of his [[Bob Chandler|father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob is totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180 on his life, get off welfare, and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and his rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3).

Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an SSDI recipient could have earned from $700 dollars a month in the year 2000, when Chris was 18, to $1000 dollars a month in 2010 without losing a cent of their SSDI income.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligent ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total [[fail]]ure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. He's caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake pussies]], [[Flipnote Hatena|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].

If Bob's motivation comes from the reasonable realization that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he keeps unleashing him to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].

In the [[Father Call|father call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out". Clearly, Chris doesn't believe wasting his disability check on video games and porn will somehow aid in his moving out. He is well aware that he will inherit his family's home and that he will never need to work, and he plans to do both. In other words, Chris plans to keep getting his tugboat for the rest of his life.

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his 80s, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $900,000 to $1,000,000 over his lifetime (In this day and age however, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career). However, it's [[Chris and Health|extremely unlikely]] that his fat ass will live anywhere near that long.

Contrary to what observers believe, Chris is not on Welfare. He is on SSDI because he fails enough to be eligible to leech off Taxpayer money, which unfortunately means he is not actually abusing the system.

==References by Chris==
*The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" comes in Chris's first e-mail to his brother [[Cole Smithey]], from March 2007. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.

*An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of [[Guitar Hero]] with his latest tugboat check.

*During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.

*In [[Mumble 1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.

*In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.

*The later months of 2009 and afterwards have seen Chris largely give up using the term "tugboat," possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the Mumble chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]] he refers to it as his "monthly income," while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34]].

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Monthly tugboat

2010-09-17T21:09:08Z

AntonImaus:

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|Yet AGAIN I am waiting for my next tugboat from my Social before I can even pay a Website to Host me and grant me a better .com domain name than [[sonichu.com]]|Chris to [[Miyamoto]], complaining about how long his free money is taking}}

[[Image:Monthly_Tugboat.jpg|thumb|right|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s euphemism for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] check. Essentially, the United States government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments leave them unable to work.

Chris receives roughly $800 each month, with $450 going to his parents for room and board. The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]] or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $350 per month (about $11.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of Chicken McNuggets, gallons of Coke, and, since the summer of 2009, [[alcohol]]. As of [[2009#July|July 2009]], he owed at least $2000 in credit-card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents.

Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded tugboat, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy. This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].

[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|[http://www.autisticchild.org/autism-statistics This is true]]]

On the advice of his [[Bob Chandler|father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob is totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180 on his life, get off welfare, and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and his rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3).

Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an SSDI recipient could have earned from $700 dollars a month in the year 2000, when Chris was 18, to $1000 dollars a month in 2010 without losing a cent of their SSDI income.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligent ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total [[fail]]ure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. He's caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake pussies]], [[Flipnote Hatena|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].

If Bob's motivation comes from the reasonable realization that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he keeps unleashing him to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].

In the [[Father Call|father call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out". Clearly, Chris doesn't believe wasting his disability check on video games and porn will somehow aid in his moving out. He is well aware that he will inherit his family's home and that he will never need to work, and he plans to do both. In other words, Chris plans to keep getting his tugboat for the rest of his life.

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his 80s, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $900,000 to $1,000,000 over his lifetime (In this day and age however, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career). However, it's [[Chris and Health|extremely unlikely]] that his fat ass will live anywhere near that long.

Contrary to what observer's believe, Chris is not on Welfare. Which unfortunately means he is not actually abusing the system.

==References by Chris==
*The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" comes in Chris's first e-mail to his brother [[Cole Smithey]], from March 2007. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.

*An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of [[Guitar Hero]] with his latest tugboat check.

*During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.

*In [[Mumble 1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.

*In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.

*The later months of 2009 and afterwards have seen Chris largely give up using the term "tugboat," possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the Mumble chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]] he refers to it as his "monthly income," while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34]].

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

1990s

2010-09-11T18:33:43Z

AntonImaus: Undo revision 113058 by You (talk)

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0406-ChristianIs17-4.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in the nineties.]]
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0505-ChristianWLlamma.jpg|thumb|right|WTF [[Niggos|nigger]].]]

The '''1990s''' saw the beginning of [[Chris]]'s obsession with [[Sonic]] and [[Pokémon]] which would one day lead to the abomination that is [[Sonichu]]. He also started using the interwebs in this decade.

==1990==
'''1990''' would be our problematic autistic's last year at [[Greene County Primary School]]. It is unknown why he left, and whether he got thrown out. Also, Chris met his gal-pal [[Tiffany Robinson]].

[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris meets [[Sonic]].]]
[[Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1991'''.]]
[[Image:0067-Christian%26Barbie.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and Barbie. That little Sonic plushie would be featured again, decades later, in [[Kimmi|Christian's sex vid]].]]
[[Image:0224-ChristianOnABus.jpg|thumb|right|Chris wants to see the schoolbus.]]
[[Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1995'''.]]
[[Image:0105-MomRetire13.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1996'''.]]
[[Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|thumb|right|Christmas '''1996'''. Spoiled fuck.]]
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1997'''. He had to water the niggos.]]

===Events of 1990===
* 24 February - Christopher's 8th birthday.
* June - Christopher becomes a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] according to him.<ref>From the [[Sonichu]] article on [[CWCipedia]]</ref> This is, however, historically impossible, as the franchise actually debuted in the United States in 1991.
* August/September - Chris enters third grade at [[Greene County Primary School]].
* 2 August 1990 – 28 February 1991: the Gulf War is fought. [[Father Call|Matthew Devoria]], father of [[Kacey]], serves with the U.S. Marines.

==1991==
'''1991''' would be a troublesome year for Christopher. He switched schools to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], but had a conflict with the principal. Certain teachers also supposedly abused Chris, and the school's administration wanted Chris put in intensive special education or an "institution". In this year Chris's friend [[Tiffany Robinson]] would end her friendship with Chris.

===Events of 1991===
* 24 February - Christopher's 9th birthday.
* April - A picture of Chris is taken on some monkey bars.
* 23 June - the first ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' game is released.
* This year - Christopher is first introduced to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>
* August/September - Chris enters fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]. He soon develops a dislike towards the allegedly [[homos|homosexual]] principal of the school.
* September - A picture of Chris is taken at a local playground.
* This year - Chris is supposedly "abused" by the teachers at Nathanael Greene Elementary School.<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* This year - Christopher's father, [[Bob Chandler]], takes the "abusive" teachers to court, but fails.<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* This year - Chris is removed from school and home-schooled.<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>

==1992==
In '''1992''', Chris was removed from Nathanael Greene Elementary School and home-schooled for a year. Also, to prevent Chris from being put in an institution or intensive special education, Bob and Chris moved to the outskirts of [[Richmond]].

===Events of 1992===
* 24 February - Christopher's 10th birthday.
* August/September - Chris enters fifth grade. He is home-schooled.
* September - The Chandler family moves to [[Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments]] in Chesterfield County, Virginia, because they are afraid Chris will be "locked up in an institution." They keep their home in [[Ruckersville]].<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

==1993==
In '''1993''', Chris started attending [[Providence Middle School]] in Richmond. He became more and more obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog, even entering a Sonic contest.

===Events of 1993===
* 24 February - Christopher's 11th birthday.
* 9 August - Amy Rose's first appearance, in ''Sonic CD''. Little did she know the horror of the future [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]].
* August/September - Chris starts attending Providence Middle School, entering the sixth grade.<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* September - The Chandler family moves to Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 7. Also based upon statements done by Chris in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]].</ref>
* Autumn - Chris enters the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].<ref>As stated in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] video.</ref>
* 20 November - Chris gets Spiderman's autograph at the mall, and meets Mario, Barbie, Santa Claus and a Dog.
* 29 December - [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|An article]] in the Richmond Times-Dispatch discusses Chris, his name change, and the Sonic contest.<ref>[http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/timesdispatch/access/615847621.html?dids=615847621:615847621&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT&type=current&date=Dec+29,+1993&author=Barbara+Green&pub=Richmond+Times+-+Dispatch&desc=IT+TOOK+A+TALKING+BEAR+TO+GIVE+THE+NAME+A+YOUNG+BOY+LOVES&pqatl=google It took a talking bear to give a young boy loves], Barbara Green - Richmond Times</ref>

==1994==
In '''1994''', Chris pestered his parents into letting him change his name. He also won the Sonic contest.

===Events of 1994===
* Winter - Christopher [[Christopher's name change|changes his name]] to Christian.
* 24 February - Christian's 12th birthday.
* 26 February - Christian wins the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes.<ref>[[:Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|Date on DVD cover.]]</ref>
* 2 March - Butthurt that they lost their original case, the Chandlers file their appeal with the Virginia Court of Appeals.
* 9 May - The Case of Bob Chandler vs. Greene County School Board is dismissed by the Virginia Court of Appeals.<ref>From [http://208.210.219.132/stars/select.jsp Court of Appeals of Virginia Case Information]</ref>
* August/September - Christian enters the seventh grade at Providence Middle School.

==1995==
In '''1995''', Chris entered eighth grade at Providence Middle School.

===Events of 1995===
*Date unknown - Birth of [[Savannah Chandler]].
* 24 February - Christian's 13th birthday.
* August/September - Christian enters the eighth grade at Providence Middle School.
* Summer - The Chandler family moves out of Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments and into the [[Surrywood Subdivision]].<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>
* 25 December - Chris recieves a two-faced sports fan, a Power Rangers Shogun Megazord and a new bicycle for Christmas.

==1996==
'''1996''' was a rather [[stress|stressful]] year for Chris's parents. The neighbors around their new house in [[Newberry Towne Subdivision]] started spreading rumors about the Chandler family. This was rather hard for Bob and Barbara to bear. Christian himself didn't seem to mind the trouble too much, and started attending [[Manchester High School]].

===Events of 1996===
* 24 February - Christian's 14th birthday. He recieves a Lego robot.
* 27 February - ''Pokémon Red'' and ''Pokémon Green'' are released in Japan: the first appearance of Pikachu.
* Early Spring - Barbara retires from Secretarial Services at [[Virginia (state)|Virginia]] Power.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>
* Late Spring - Christian graduates from Providence Middle School on [[honor roll]].<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* Summer - The Chandler family moves out of the Surrywood Subdivision, and starts living in the [[Newberry Towne Subdivision]]. According to Chris, some of the neighbors spread rumors about his family.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>
* 1 September - Christian begins his freshman year at [[Manchester High School]].<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* Autumn - Chris becomes a water boy for the varsity basketball team.
* 13 November - During basketball practice, Chris thinks up [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].
* 25 December - Chris recieves a Cortland video camera, a Lego playset, a Snoopy doll, a Cartooning with Charles Schulz kit, Wave Race 64, Mischief Makers and an extra Nintendo 64 controller for Christmas.

==1997==
In '''1997''', Chris is still studying happily at Manchester High School. He now also manages the school basketball team.

===Events of 1997===
* This year - Chris is rejected by [[Laura Dorazio]].
* 14 February - Valentines day. At a dating match-up at school, Chris is paired up with cheerleader [[Molly Quarles]].
* 24 February - Christian's 15th birthday.
*1 April - First episode of ''Pokémon'' anime broadcast; Pikachu becomes a cultural icon.
* June - Christian allegedly had a prophetic dream about Sonic the Hedgehog appearing on Game Boy.<ref>Claimed by Chris in his PowerPoint: [http://www.mediafire.com/?xe03yxe1zyp]</ref>
* August/September - Christian begins his sophomore year at Manchester High School.
* 1 October - Barbara's 56th birthday. Chris and Bob are photographed laughing like idiots.
==1998==
In '''1998''', Chris received an [[Honor roll|F]] in English class. This would hurt him severely, forcing him to create the [[Song of Christian]] in retribution. He also discovered [[masturbation]].

===Events of 1998===
* This year - Chris discovers masturbation.<ref>[[Mass debating]]</ref>
* 2 February - Chris begins to wear the [[Pedo-Glasses]].
* 24 February - Christian's 16th birthday.
* March - Chris starts volunteering as an assistant Gym Leader at [[Books-A-Million]].
* 15 May - [[Song of Christian]] released.<ref>[[:Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|Date on DVD cover.]]</ref>
* 4 June - Christian makes his [[Chris's DVD#Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway Animation by C.W.C. on Game Boy Camera|Lego Raceway Animation]].<ref>[[:Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|Date on DVD cover.]]</ref>
* August/September - Christian begins his junior year at Manchester High School.
* 4 September - Chris records a [[KCWC]] tape. [[Barbara]] "calls in" saying that she wants to request a song for Bob's 71st birthday, humoring him like he's six years old, when in reality, he was sixteen.

==1999==
In '''1999''', the [[Pokémon]] franchise broke big in America. During this time, Chris started making Pokémon-themed sites, and even got into the [[Chris's DVD#Chris Chan in the Pok'eNews|PokéNews]]. According to [[Lucas]], Chris started showing up at the [[Game Place]] around this time. Chris also created many of his "original" Pokémon cards this year for his [[Wall of Originals]]. They are listed below, as well as the other milestones of this year.
===Events of 1999===
{{Main|1999}}

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Mailbag 48

2010-08-28T10:40:09Z

AntonImaus:

__NOTOC__'''Mailbag 48''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 28 January 2010 and answered on 30 January 2010. The letters are answered without too much incident. Chris even manages to talk about Asperchu without going into a [[Chris and anger|nuclear tard rage]]. [[Evan]] contacts Chris again about his blatant [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], but Chris brushes his comments aside. The Mike Jackson saga continues, with Chris's inability to produce a simple video resulting in a young man ruining his life. Interestingly, Chris has no objections regarding a muscle-bound Rosechu.

==Answered==
===Baaaaaaawww===
{{Email|From: Bridget Stanley <brst1897@utdallas.edu>

Chris, that drawing you did of yourself as a baby was just ADORABLE! Can you please upload more pictures like that? You looked so cute in your nappies and crying for your pacifier!

Thanks,

Bridget}}
{{EmailReply|I did not draw that [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lucrid]] defiance of a drawing; Mao of the [[Asperpedia]] is wrongfully in charge of the ads on My Cwcipedia; HE obviously copied my drawing style, took one of my signatures from one of my past artpieces and Photoshopped the signature into HIS drawing. And I DO NOT APPRECIATE THAT MOCKERY.}}

===Oh look, another lie===
{{Email|From: Jake <Jake0231@gmail.com>

Hey Chris I have a few questions about the comics.

First of all [[Simonla Rosechu]] she appears at random in the comic for no reason, yet you speek of her in the mailbags like she's an essential character. I mean you say she's perfect for wild because "opposites attract" but don't they both like building? The only thing opposite about them is their types.

Though that leads on to my second question. What exactly attracted each of these couples to each other in the comic? because it wasn't exactly explained.

[[Sonichu]]-[[Rosechu]]
 [[Punchy]]-[[Layla]]
 [[Wild]]-Simonla
 [[Bubbles]]-[[Blachu]]
 [[Angelica]]-[[Reginald]]

Their relationships have barely any details all it seems is that you paired them up just for the sake of it, which is unfair on [[Evan]] because you are saying Simonla HAS to stay in the comic because of a relationship with Wild that isn't even explained other than "opposites attract".}}
{{EmailReply|Wild and Simonla have more than the Opposite Attraction thing going on, if you RECALL from the "Dating Education" episode, they were IN THE SAME CLASS; They were Fatedly Paired Up for the Instant Message Sessions, and it was Love At First Sight after Realization. THERE IS DEPTH BETWEEN WILD SONICHU AND SIMONLA ROSECHU.}}

===Chris the good person===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Jeff_Gerstmann|Jeff Gerstmann]] <gwaano3@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

I found out people in my synagogue and my town were just pretending to like my art because I have Asperger's, so they think I'm retarded and they didn't want me to feel bad. In [[Mailbag 45]], you said that that your community and your church congregation agree that your art style is excellent. How did you win them over?

Thanks.

Your fan,

Jeff}}
{{EmailReply|I was being myself; a good person and a caring individual. No one really knows me unless they are Around Me in Person and Real Life.}}

===What the fuck does that even mean?===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

How come I'm "overreacting" for wanting Simonla and Simonchu gone, but
it's okay for you to want your characters out of Asperchu? You're a
total hypocrite.}}
{{EmailReply|And you are an Overacting Comedian.}}

===Copyright lawl===
{{Email|From: gottagetback@usa.com

I was looking at the certificate of registration you got, and I noticed something: you only registered Sonichu. Why not your other characters? Why don't you own Rosechu, or [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], or [[Bionic]], or [[Jiggliami]], or any of your other characters? Heck, you don't even technically own [[Cwcville]]. Why is that? Are you using someone else's characters like you did with [[Meg Griffin]] or Simonchu/Simonla? Just curious.}}
{{EmailReply|All of MY original Characters are ALL Registered by Association.}}

===Personality and charm===
[[Image:Issue 1 - 2 copy.jpg|thumb|A masterpiece]]
{{Email|From: Kali Smith <kali.kitsune@hotmail.com>

This, by the definition of the word I previously described is excellent.
http://gabmonteiro9389.deviantart.com/art/Sonichu-Remake-Issue-0-7-117026127

These are my reasons:
 Consistent Anatomy
 Understanding of layout and perspective
 No typos
 Understanding of colors

I find it a bit ironic and sad that someone else managed to make your comic bette than you ever could. :(

If he were selling them, I'd most def purchase them! Because the quality is tons better than what you're providing currently.}}
{{EmailReply|Indeed, but it does not have the same Personality and Charm ONLY the Original Pages of Mine Have.}}

===Goat getters===
{{Email|From: Alphard <alphard@conexao-br.net>

Hey, Chris.

Why Asperpedia is now using the domain sonichu.com? }}
{{EmailReply|Just to try to get my goat and tick me off.}}

===It was the phrasing, honest===
{{Email|From: Cpt. Wyvern <masterwyvern@googlemail.com>

Hey Chris, way to avoid my question in [[Mailbag 45]]. If you can't take criticism then don't draw. It's as simple as that really.}}
{{EmailReply|It is the way the criticism was phrased; yours was phrased too harshly, and I perceived it as such and did what I did.}}

===This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!===
[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|A night to remember]]
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Hi Chris...

I'm a little bummed because [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|you said that you would put out a video asking my son to come home before he made it to Vegas]] and married the escourt he lost his virginity to. You didn't and now it is too late! My son e-mailed me saying that he is now officially married to his supposed [[heartsweet]] Debbie. He even sent me a picture to prove that it actually happened, which I'm enclosing here in this letter.

He still hasn't come home yet and my wife is super worried. He said that he'd come home as long as we promised not to take any legal action against his new wife. Mike is also telling me that he wants me to give Debbie a job at my company so she can stop selling herself.

Chris, I still want to believe that you are good and that you had every intention of making that video. Maybe you got sick or someone in your family got hurt- please tell me that SOMETHING happened and that you just didn't forget. My wife is crying herself to sleep every night and she's even talking about divorcing me and taking the kids because I "followed the advice of a [[naive]] idiot". We had a huge fight over that, because how could you predict that any of this would happen?

Please Chris, tell my son that he needs to come home. I'll do whatever it takes- I'll keep from going to the police. I'll give his wife a job doing whatever she wants. Just tell him to come home. If my wife left me, I don't know what I'd do. Life isn't worth living without my wife and family.

Mike}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize for not making the video that night; I had collapsed from stress, and I needed to rest a while; it could not be helped. I will make a video asking him to return home to you, I promise. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:37, 31 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Once again, Chris failed to make the video, this time with [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|tragic results]].''

===10 Reasons===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Proposition|Morris Stanley]] <niflheimer@live.ca>

Dear Chris,

I have been reading [[Asperchu]] for some time now, and I recently discovered your comic. I like what I've seen so far, and I'm thinking of switching to reading yours instead of his. So [[Wikipedia:The Proposition|I wish to present you with a proposition]]: if you can give me 10 reasons why Sonichu is a better comic than Asperchu, I'll become a true and honest Sonichu fan and never read Asperchu again.

Your fan (possibly),

Morris Stanley, Australia}}
{{EmailReply|Okay. 1) Because my Sonichu Comics are THE Original. 2) Alec admits he got HIS ideas from MY Characters and Comics. 3) Sonichu has been around for ALMOST Ten Years Now; Asperchu has been around only a few months. 4) I do not draw gore, and I rarely draw nudity or references, so you are less likely to feel queasy in comparison. 5) It is a [[homos|Straight-Oriented]] Comic Series. 6) Some of the events around ME were based from My Real-Life Expierences. 7) I have suffered more than Alec has as an individual in life. 8) I've had to work a lot harder in life to cope with those trials and tortures. 9) The comic pages are ALL Originally Hand-Drawn; ONLY the text gets fixed in photoshop for better reading. 10) I have had way over a million [[Trolls|fans]] worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]]. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:37, 31 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris recommends wearing girl clothes over guy clothes===
[[Image:PumpingIorn.jpg|thumb|I'm Strooong!]]
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Billy Herrington|Billy Herrington]] <[[wikipedia:Cho Aniki|broaniki]]@gmail.com>

Hi there, I have been a fan of yours for 2 weeks now. I just saw your [[11042009 51 50|exercise]] [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] and I have to say they are very inspiring. I decided to be a bodybuilder, so I would like to know: 1) How many pounds can you lift? 2) I eat McDonald's almost every day, is this a recommended diet for a weight lifter? 3) Which is better to wear? A [[Sports bra photo series|Sports bra]] or a [[Wikipedia:Sleeveless_shirt#A-shirt|wife beater]]?

-Signed, Billy Herrington

PS- I am also an amateur artist so I drew you with muscles. In a perfect world, everybody would have muscles. I included Asperchu because according to the ads, you look like you're friends with him. Peace and good luck.}}
{{EmailReply|1) [[Honor roll|well over 100 lbs.]] 2) eat more fruit and veggies, and drink plenty of water. 3) Sports Bra. W.T.F. is a "wife beater"?}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Reset that shit===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>

I think a reboot would be an excellent idea.

Think of all the problems you could solve!

You could remove Simonla without killing her, thus pleasing Evan! Seriously just do it, nobody cares about her and you can use the reboot to alter the pairings.

You could properly alter [[Raichu]]'s tail so Rosechu won't be female!

You could avoid all of the homophobic bullshit that caused people to hate you in the first place!

You could remove yourself from the comic completely without looking like you're frantically trying to tie up loose ends!}}

{{Mailbag}}

Pedofork

2010-08-22T06:29:39Z

AntonImaus: /* Evidence of Chris's pedofork tendencies */ Pedophiliac doesn't seem accurate.

{{quote|I am not a Pedofork, YOU DORKS!!!|[[CWC's Second Message]]}}
[[Image:Pedo_exposure.jpg|thumb|300px|A pedofork [[Fridays After Five‎|in action]]]]
A '''pedofork''' ''(pronounced "PED-oh-fork"),'' a portmanteau for "pedophile" and "dork", is [[Chris]]'s term for a '''pedophile''' (''paedophile'' to non-Americans), child molester, or anyone else with some sort of sexual interest in the underage.

This term was initially coined in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|Madman Rising]] video in response to [[trolls]] comparing Chris to "that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''," known to the rest of the world as "[[Wikipedia:List of characters in Family Guy#Herbert|Herbert the Pervert]]."

Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to trolls and an early step towards becoming a LOLcow.
{{-}}
==Evidence of Chris's pedofork tendencies==
[[Image:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|Not a pedofork]]

Although the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' series was originally intended for children, Chris put a bunch of porn into [[issue 8]]. This included graphic depictions of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] having [[sex]], and multiple instances of Rosechu stripping naked. One of the most notorious sequences came near the end of episode 17, where Rosechu face-raped [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to a near-death state after he taunted her by throwing a pickle at her. In the same episode an [[Zapina|anthropomorphic lightning bug]] exclaims "I've just turned 14-years cute!!!" and wishes to assist [[Rosechu]] in making porn for "[[women's rights]]." Rosechu says "I don't know child, what with the dumb laws."

Chris later stated in [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]] that if given the power, he would change the age of consent in America to "Sweet 16", making it "another good reason it would be a 'Sweet' age." He is obviously unaware that age of consent is controlled by the state, and most states already have it set at 16 or 17. He also believes that [[Sonichu_and_Rosechu's_Children|kids]] can participate in "adult" activities, like [[Family Guy|perverse satires]] with adult themes and making a porno, as long as there's adult supervision, suggesting that he doesn't even understand why such rules exist in the first place.

He maintains that he stays straight by looking at a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]], which features said 14-year-old character and her eight-year-old daughter from the future, and when he was editing his [[ED]] article in his favor, one of his accounts had underage porn featured prominently on the user page. Most of the underage porn from this user page, along with a few other pieces of pornographic art chosen by him (which, ironically enough, includes Pedobear... ''twice'') would reappear in the "elevator gag" in ''Sonichu'' #8. One might argue that because of his notoriously bad facial recognition, he might not realize how young they actually are. But as mentioned in [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]], he is quite good at age recognition (a talent common among autistics).

To be fair, there is evidence to suggest that even Chris has '''some''' degree of an age limit. In one of [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Guru Larry's Interviews]] with him, Chris reacted with shock when Larry mentioned how another internet lolcow, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Spax3 Spax3], allegedly has a crush on Cream the Rabbit, a six-year-old character from the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' series. Though, at the time, Chris was under the impression that Spax3 was a villain from an upcoming Sonic game. Also of note is that Chris's ED userpage still contained Rule 34 of the very same underage character(which was later used in Sonichu 8).

{{Quote|It's okay where it [the legal age of consent] is, but yeah, if changable [sic], Sweet 16; another good reason it would be a "Sweet" age.|Chris, not even trying to be subtle, from [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]]}}

[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|No unsavory implications here.]]
[[File:Pdf.jpg|thumb|It may save your life]]

While he's not an outright baby-fucker pedophile, Chris does seem to subscribe to the notion that "if there's grass on the field, play ball." On a number of occasions, he's suggested that if he were given the opportunity, he'd be willing to date and have sex with young women who are below the legal age of consent.

*The first example from Sonichu is found when Sonichu and Rosechu have a graphic furry yiff-fest in one of the early comics. The decision to draw such a horrific creation is doubly creepy; on the one hand Sonichu and Rosechu were just recently hatched, meaning they were well under the age of consent at the time the sexual intercourse was depicted by Chris (he later justifies it by saying Sonichu and Rosechu were hatched over the age of 18). On the other, Chris is drawing a comic about ''Sonic the Hedgehog characters'', i.e, a comic probably aimed toward an audience of children. '''He drew graphic sex in a comic whose audience is primarily children.'''

*Another example Chris's possible pedofork predilections comes in the form of a character in the Sonichu world known as [[Zapina]]. What happens in the drawing is all of the [[Rosechu (species)|rosechus]] are "stripping for women's rights" and the "14 years cute" Zapina wants to strip too. Rosechu takes young Zapina aside and informs her that because of "those dumb laws", she must not... not to worry, though, as Chris lets Zapina view all of the stripping action, and they use her luminescent posterior as a spotlight for the whole unsettling ordeal (because Zapina is some sort of lightning bug or something). It's also interesting to note that Zapina, despite being 14, is still drawn with cleavage and is even wearing a tube top.

*In [[Mailbag 54]], Chris discussed his fondness for ''Gunslinger Girl'' and ''Shuffle'', two anime series noted for their jailbait characters.

*In the [[Sonichu 11|comic version]] of ''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]'', one of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu's daughters]] says "I'm the Virgin Mary. That's my story and I'm sticking to it." When this joke first appeared on ''Family Guy'' 10 years ago it was said by an adult woman. In the comic, Sonichu's daughters have just entered elementary school(and are in fact ''three'').

*In a series of [[Facebook messages#Christina Katherine Trevillian|messages on Facebook]], it was revealed that, even after learning his target was underage, Chris continued to pursue her.

*Chris repeatedly insists that showing graphic sexual content to children is not only acceptable, it is normal, healthy and educational. To wit, it's okay to have sexually explicit content in a children's comic or let your kindergartners watch TV shows loaded with sex and adult humor. Chris also thinks small children would be interested in sex, enough to seek out adult content on their own, such as watching softcore porn on Cinemax late at night.

*In the [[Sonichu 8]] elevator gags, Chris includes porn of several underage characters, including [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic (15), Amy (12) Cream the Rabbit (6)]], The Powerpuff Girls (???), and [[Pokemon|Misty (around 10-12)]]. In addition, one of the drawings from Rosechu's photo shoot earlier in the issue was traced from the cover of a furry doujinshi featuring Amy Rose.

*Snorlax has repeatedly become [[Julie|suspicious]] [[Emily|of]] [[Kacey|female trolls]], not because of common sense, but because she worries that Chris might one day stumble into a pedophile sting operation. Combining this with the knowledge that Chris openly talks to her about his masturbatory habits creates a very worrying picture.

==See also==

*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Pedo-glasses]]
*[[Gaybian]]

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_56 Rosechu and "...those dumb laws."]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_3 The disturbing Zapina page]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNANhlZiMJE Chris-Chan is a Pedophile (REMIX)]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

File talk:Chris-CatBurp.PNG

2010-08-22T02:14:04Z

AntonImaus:

Whoever made this, you're clearly some sort of beautiful, evil mastermind.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:19, 13 February 2010 (UTC)
* Why, thank you. Which reminds me, I should probably try to illustrate some of the Alec phone calls. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 08:07, 13 February 2010 (UTC)
* Oh God, Kimmi is suffering. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 19:14, 21 August 2010 (PDT)

Surfshack Tito (troll)

2010-08-21T12:11:16Z

AntonImaus: I wish I got the image before /cwc/ decided to nuke half their threads

[[Image:Tito_300.gif|thumb|It's easy to see what the Wallflower fell for, isn't it?]]

'''Surfshack Tito''' is a mysterious [[troll]] who first emerged in early [[March 2010]]. His arrival was reminiscent of the rise of [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of 2009 — like Jack, he first made his mark by hacking [[Chris]]'s [[PS3|PlayStation Network]] accounts.

The nickname "Surfshack Tito" is a reference to the corpulent surf-shop owner from the Nickelodeon kids' cartoon ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. During the exchanges with Chris, most of them from Tito are ended with a Tito-styled word of wisdom. The choice to go with the name is most likely inspired by an infamous copypasta about Tito.

Based on Chris's insults towards Tito in the emails and videos, it was assumed that Chris believes that ''[[Chris and Reality|the actual Tito from Rocket Power is trolling him.]]'' However, the truth is that the image attached to an email shows a Photoshopped image of The Wallflower standing next to a [[niggo|really tall dark guy]]. The photo is left out of this article due to an agreement with Wallflower.

==Tito in Chris's videos==
Chris first addressed Tito in a [[Surfshack Tito (video)|video]] released on 2 March 2010. His comments were brief and cryptic. Chris merely referred to Tito by name, threatened him with doom in his nightmares, and delivered a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha#Execution_and_effect|Curse Shot]] attack.

Shortly afterward, [[Clyde Cash]] explained that Tito had hacked Chris's PSN account a few days prior, in late February. This revelation was accompanied by another info-dump concerning Chris's ongoing [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloadable]]-[[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|content]] spending spree.

A week later, trolls discovered the identity of [[the Wallflower]], throwing Chris into a flailing rage. Initially, Chris seemed to blame Clyde for the breakup of his latest one-sided relationship, but on 14 March 2010, he released a [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|video]] suggesting that he viewed Tito as the culprit. In that clip, he declares, "Tito. Listen to me, you son of a bitch. Your-your days are numbered." Threats involving a shillelagh and Chris's deadly [[pocket knife]] followed.

Tito apparently kept up the pressure on Chris through the next few days of March 2010. On 18 March, Chris released [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|yet another threatening video]], in which he accused Tito of stealing the Wallflower from him, called him a "womanizing rapist" and a "[[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle-suited]] [[nigger]]," and alluded to e-mails he had received from Tito (their contents unspecified, but Chris definitely didn't like them).

However, since the end of the Wallflower [[saga]], Surfshack Tito has slipped from Chris's consciousness and has not made any further appearances.

==E-mails with Chris==
{{main|Surfshack Tito Emails}}

During mid-March 2010, Tito exchanged several e-mails with Chris, baiting him with regard to the revelation of the Wallflower's identity and other subjects. Their conversations reveal that Chris was aware of his gal-pal's interest in gay slash fiction, and was apparently willing to look past it (the quest for china trumping all other considerations). The e-mails also feature Chris employing the word "nigger" with [[Chris and race|great enthusiasm]].

==See also==
*[[Jack Thaddeus]]
*[[Surfshack Tito (video)]]
*[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]
*[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]
*[[Surfshack Tito Emails]]

{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Tito, Surfshack}}

[[Category:Trolls]]

Talk:CWC Update 29 July 2009

2010-08-19T07:42:32Z

AntonImaus: /* 日本語のパート */

==Pro tip==
Chris actually uploaded the bulk of his Captain's Log [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Captain%27s_Log&oldid=1648 here]. In the future, it may be profitable to check the [[CWCipedia]] first to see if Chris has posted the text of the Captain's Log, to save time on transcription. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:26, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
:*That's a good thought, but until Chris starts punctuating like a literate human being and actually sticking to his scripts, it'll probably be faster to just type up transcripts from scratch rather than trying to copy-paste Chris's own speech outlines and then make a thousand small corrections to them. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 16:01, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
:*Hilariously, he STILL thinks it's June there...! [[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 11:10 29 July 2009 (CEST)
I am only an observer in this situation. Without condemning or justifying actions of either groups, I offer my services as an Spanish translator for CWC's spanish dialogues. I am now working on tranlating them on my best of my abilities (18 years of Spanish). --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 03:57, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
*Thank you so fucking much. It's painful as hell but someone needs to do it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:04, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
**Seems I was beaten to the punch, props to the other guy, I added my translation as an alternate. Chris has not a very good grasp of verbs conjugation and adequacy. The "comicos" (comedians) bit was hilarious. --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 04:48, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
:::*They are both very good translations, though I think that we should just have a literal (what Chris actually says) and a figurative (what Chris meant to say). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 31 July 2009 (CEST)

==Chris's transcriptions==
Chris was kind enough to provide his Spanish script and English translation [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/CWC_Speaks here]. Of course, we beat him to the punch by 21 hours or so but we can still use Chris's version to fix any corrections and fill any gaps. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 31 July 2009 (CEST)
:Chris's version of the transcription is riddled with serious errors, like using the word for "anus" when meaning to write "year". [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 06:30, 3 August 2009 (CEST)

==Extended Version==

...is down at the moment. When we use the Deleted Video template, should the video embedding info be deleted too to avoid confusion, or left up to show the video's details? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 20:03, 1 March 2010 (UTC)
*probably left up, i would say. either that or replace it with the cwcvillelibrary mirrors, which never go down (unless absolutely necessary) --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 17:14, 24 April 2010 (UTC)! Thanks for reading!

== Liquid's video ==

Translated the Spanish portion and a large portion of the French, but the combination of grating voice and an inability to speak the language properly made me stop. Will possibly be back, but if one better than me chooses to edit, by all means, go ahead.

I added the German portion... impossible to make out in some places - his accent is horrible - but I did my best. -[[User:Kantenstein|Kantenstein]] 10:07, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

===日本語のパート===

Come on, there have GOT to be some weaboos and/or competent Japanese speakers around here. That the Japanese part remained untranscribed and untranslated is pretty disappointing considering the vast anime knowldedge held by CWCki users DESU YO~!!! --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 21:35, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
* Ignoring the bit of sarcasm there: I'm working on it, but I have very little idea as to what he's saying. I'm having trouble with the second half's grammar, and there's just a problem with the first. This'll take longer that it should for 30 seconds of audio.
Weeaboo translation: HAI HAI YARIMASU~ --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 04:28, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
:* Hey guys, I wanted to work on this tonight but I [http://www.starcraft2.com fell mysteriously ill right as I got home from work]. I'm receiving [http://us.starcraft2.com/dominion/ treatment] and should be ready to give this a shot at translating the 日本語 tomorrow, along with my transcription effort. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:55, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
** This thing is kicking my ass. The first part is unintelligible, though I keep wanting to hear "musa," "greedy." I'm thinking that it's not tagashi, which sounds like gibberish, but tadashi, correct, as in, the correct Chris. And I have no idea what mandai is supposed to mean... 助けてくれ~ ロニチュせんぱい! --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 11:57, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
*Giving it a shot too. From context, I think he's saying something to the effect of "the real Chris can read multiple languages". The hardest part about doing this transcription is that he slurs on the vowels. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 16:53, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**Just...further...update! I altered some words and Google gives a different translation.
 
::正しいクリスならばと読める彼だが。彼は万大すべてこれらの言語で音する必要があります！
::(Oh) but he does read as if the right Chris. He should sound great in all these languages million!
 
::I removed "aso" because it's more of an exclamation rather than a real word (sort of like "oh". No idea what the first sentence is trying to say. "mandai" was difficult but it has to do with "ten thousand" (man) and "great". Let's assume it said "He should sound great in a million languages!", then it seems to make sense with this video. So yeah, there's my input. Keep in mind I'm not very good with the language as I needed Google and a dictionary. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 17:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:::You probably know this language better than me, but I'm fairly sure 読める is yoMEru. Either way, I think this translation is adequate enough to put on the translation. What do you think? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 16:07, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
::Possibilities - If Mandai = Mondai (問題: problem, question) and Oto = Outou (応答: respond), then "Kono mondai subete korera no gengo de outou suru hitsuyo ga arimasu" = "He must respond to all these questions in these languages" ? [[User:Tadahima|Tadahima]] 18:35, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
:::@SeventhBase. Yeah. I dun goofed. 'yomeru' is suppose to the 'potential' form of 'to read'. As in "he could read this" (er, don't quote me on that) or something like that.
:::@Tadahima. that makes a lot more sense considering this was a challenge. Speaking of which, the "Usana" in the first line is probably "uso na". 'uso' = 'lie'. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 03:32, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

::::Further speculation - is the bit starting with 'Usa na' even Japanese at all? I've listened several times, but the closest thing to a sentence I got was "うそなんじゃ　フォトは　せっかく工夫は済めば (It's a lie, the photo, though effort has been made - Usonanja fotoha sekkaku kufuu ha sumeba)."
::::Also, possible cleaned-up translation for the clearest portion - "Well, if he is the [[Honest_Content#True_and_Honest.2C_Honest_and_True|real]] Chris, then he should be able to read this, but he has to answer every question in these languages!" (まぁ、そうには正しいクリスならばと読める彼だが、彼は問題全てこれらの言語で応答する必要があります！)[[User:Tadahima|Tadahima]] 05:34, 18 August 2010 (PDT)
:::::Sentence would make sense, but it makes him sound like he faked the license. I'm not sure if that's what he's going for. I think it would have been easier to ask Liquid what he had intended, assuming he still cares about the whole thing. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 00:42, 19 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:CWC Update 29 July 2009

2010-08-18T10:39:25Z

AntonImaus: /* 日本語のパート */

CWC Update 29 July 2009

2010-08-18T10:36:56Z

AntonImaus: /* Transcript */ Changed based on current guesses from Discussion tab

In "'''CWC Update 29 July 2009'''" (officially "'''CWC Update 07292009'''" for the original video and its extended cut, "'''CWC Update 07292009-2'''" for the Spanish companion video), [[Chris]] explains that he is a [[troll]] trolling trolls. Note that he somehow grew his full goatee back instantly.

He would later replace the video with an extended version, which adds a close-up of his driver's license and Chris asking his viewers to read about the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] on [[CWCipedia]], which he claims to be the new, official [[Sonichu]] website. Also of note is the addendum, in which Chris horribly mangles the language of Cervantes and infuriates many a speaker of the world's second language with most native speakers.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 29 July 2009
| image = {{#ev:youtube|w5AokNuon50}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling | CWC More than a Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back | That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}} </center>
===Transcript===

Alright... [[Captain's Log]], Stardate: July 29th, 2009.

Let's get this over with right off the bat. Dispelling rumors and making a few points. There are NO official [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] merchandise yet. Whatever you're buying right now, it's fake, especially from the damn [[niggos|black]]—brown... brown striped [[CChanSonichuCWC|impostor]] posing as me. Ignore all [[YouTube]] videos portraying me in a wrong sense, especially if it is not on my TRUE YouTube account, this one: I-B-A Chandler! Portra—playing also playing off of my father's license plate... a little bit. I B Mr. C! Follow Mr. C's, I'm an important C. (?) Mr. Chandler. [[IBAChandler]].

And yes, it is true, [[Rollin' and Trollin'|I have called myself a troll]], because I am trolling my trolls back! So, in a sense, I am a troll to those trolls ONLY. I am not a troll to any of the TRUE, [[HONEST]] people out there. I just—because of the Internet, and whatnot, it's hard to tell the difference. So, if you're not a troll, and you know you're not, it does not apply to you. Otherwise, you know you're a troll. I'M TROLLIN' YOU BACK!

And... it's okay to be... [[autism|stupid]] sometimes. Stupid... [[It's UGH!|damn, dirty song!]] While it is NOT okay to be [[Homos|homosexual]], I will let—I will personally not judge any individual of that... one trait. I am willing to be friends with homosexuals. And let me make it clear: I will NOT TOLERATE ANY FURTHER DAMN, DIRTY STUPID QUESTIONS QUESTIONING MY DANG ORIENTATION! I, CHRISTOPHER "CHRISTIAN" WESTON CHANDLER, AM STRAIGHT! Have good faith... in me. And... to all my loyal, true [[trolls|viewers, fans everybody]]: you will be rewarded.

I leave that with you. Peace, and have a good day.

==Extended version==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 29 July 2009 (Extended)
| image = {{#ev:youtube|bSObbKWYmBE}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2}} Red Stuttgart
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling | CWC More than a Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back | That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

Alright. Captain's Log, Stardate: July 29th, 2009.

Let's get this over with, right off the bat. Dispelling... rumors. And making a few points. [''looks at a piece of paper, apparently with his notes''] There are no... official... Sonichu or Rosechu merchandise yet. Whatever you're buying, right now, it's FAKE, especially from the damn black—brown—brown-STRIPED impostor posing as me. [''looks back at paper''] And I can best prove who I am. [''moves away from camera, but comes closer to it and shoves his face in the camera''] CLOSE UP. ZOOMING in on ME. [''shoves driver's license into the camera, mumbles''] With... my driver's license... with the customer number censored. [''flips the license around''] Can you copy FRONT and BACK? FRONT and BACK? [''turns it to its side''] THICKNESS? [''flips to the back''] Front... [''flips back to the front''] Front reflective Virginia... Can you see it? [''pulls license away and shoves his face back in''] I think... [''dramatic glasses removal''] ...not.

I think not. ''flashes license again'']

[''steps back into proper frame, reads off of paper'']

Ignore all YouTube videos portraying me in a wrong sense. Especially if it's not on my true YouTube account, this one, '''''IBA'''Chandler''. Portray—playing—also playing off my father's license plate. Little bit. I be Mr C. A lot of Mr. C's... I'm an important C.: Mr. Chandler. I be a Chandler.

[''looks back at paper'']

And yes, it is true: I have called myself a troll because I'm trolling my trolls back, so, in a sense, I am a troll to those trolls only. I am NOT a troll to any of the other True and Honest people out there. [''replaces glasses''] I just—because of the internet and whatnot, it's hard to tell the difference. So, if you are not a troll, and you know you're not, this does not apply to you. Otherwise, if you know you're a troll... [''shrugs, then points dramatically''] I'M TROLLING YOU BACK! [''points and goes to say something, but doesn't'']

AND... it'sokaytobestupids. [''he says this fast and softly, then mumbles''] ...That damn, dirty song. [''looks at paper, ponders.''] While it's NOT okay to be homosexual, I will not j—I will not personally judge any individual [''removes glasses again, and starts reading off the paper''] ...that one trait. I am willing to be friends with the homosexuals. And let me make it clear: [''drops glasses, lifts finger''] I will not tolerate '''any more damn, dirty, stupid question my dang orientation'''! I, Christopher Christian Weston Chandler, am STUH-RAIGHT! Have good faith in me.

And to all my True, Loyal viewers, fans, everybody. You will be rewarded. Look up the history of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens for one, a full, extended story from. My. Head. And my hands, typed. On the new, the official, as of 2009, the new s—the official s—CWC's Sonichu and Rosechu Site.

I will leave that with you. Peace, and have a good day.

==Addendum==

In this video, Chris horribly mangles the Spanish language. There are a total of 18 jump cuts in this 193-second video, suggesting that rather than speaking Spanish as a second language, he simply wrote a script based on his limited knowledge and consulted it after every sentence, hoping no one would notice.

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 29 July 2009 (Addendum)
| image = {{#ev:youtube|9M4sHq3Y0KM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Smug|text}}
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling | CWC More than a Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back | That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

====Original====

''Captain's Log, Stardate: May(?) 29th, 2009''

¡AY! Impostor en rayas de marrón. [''cut''] Yo tenía dos años de español en mi escuella secundaria, Manchester High. Con mi señora bonita. [''cut'']

Y yo recibe durante los clases [''cut''] el apodo que yo use para mi Internet, RICARDO, mi nombre fue Ricardo en las clases de español. [''cut''] Recuerde el es- el Pokésite de R.W.C [''the W is pronounced ''doble ve'' like in Spain''] con ''CWC Pokésite 2'', ''CWC's Bionicle site'', ''CWC's Hot Wheels site'', ''the original CWC Sonichu site''. [''cut'']

Yo voy a hácer una apuesta. Que tu, el impostor, no graduaste desde [''high pitch''] TU escuela secundaria. ¡En serio! [''cut''] Yo, el verdad, Christopher Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler, [''cut''] no solamente me gradue de Manchester High con mi TITÚLO [shows degree, then puts it down]. Mi titúlio de ''basketball'' en mi fi- en mi año de ''freshman'' [''shows his basketball degree, proceeds to put it down'']. ¡Stúpido! TU ERES STUPIDO. [''cut'']

No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos de ''[[HONOR ROLL]]''. ¡Bueño! [''cut'']

¿Y como fue escribe en los cómicos de Sonichu [''feels his badge''], Rosechu y yo? [''semi-gangster expression''] ¡Yo! [''cut'']

Yo fue a Piedmont Virginia Community College para mi—[''cut''] Para mi título y certificado para ''COMPUTA EDIT DRAFTING AND DEZAIN''. [''shows both certificates, and the second one seems to have some Chris-chan Sonichu & Megan art''] [''cut'']

Que yo diplomade muy bueño y recibe en... ''June, 2006''. [''guess he never learned how to say dates in Spanish''] [''cut'']

¿Donde está tu titúlo de Manchester High? Tu titúlo de Piedmont de t—¿Tu certificado de Piedmont de ''Computer-Ai—drafting & design''?

¿Donde están? [''cut''] Tu no tienes. [''dramatic glasses removal''] Tu no tienes. ¿VERRRRDAD?

Tu no tienes, yo tiene. Yo soy el verdad Christopher Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler. Entonces, POR FAVOR. Para todo el—todos los veces en el futuro y ahora. [''hand gestures''] [''cut''] ¡Dejar de este juego maldito! Impostor, tonto y estúpido. [''homo pose''] [''cut'']

También. Me presente. Responde en español bueño. [''because your Spanish is excellent, Ricardo''] ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor. [''cut'']

¿Responde en Íngles? No es bueño. No es bueño, tonto impostor en rayas de marrón. [''cut'']

Paz.

====English translation====

Captain's Log, Stardate May(?) 29th, 2009

Aye! The impostor in brown stripes! I have two years of Spanish in my secondary school, Manchester High, with my pretty lady.

And during class I received the nickname I use on the Internet "[[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]]". Ricardo, my name in Spanish is Ricardo. Remember the Pokésite of RWC with CWC Pokésite 2 CWC Bionicle site and original Sonichu site.

I'm gonna bet you impostor that you didn't graduate from your high school. Really? I the real Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler not only did I graduate from Manchester High School [''shows his high school diploma''] with my diploma. My basketball diploma from my freshman year [''shows his stupid diploma''] Stupid.... You are stupid!

Not only with them but with my honor roll points, good!

And how was it that I wrote the comedians [''translator's note: He actually says comedians, instead of comics''] of Sonichu Rosechu and me?

I went to PVCC for my title, certificate of CADD [''shows a couple of diplomas, and second one of the them with his stupid Chris-chan drawing holding Megan''] I received a very good diploma in June 2006.

Where is your title from Manchester High? Where is your certifica...—your certificate from PVCC for CADD? WHERE ARE THEY? You don't have them.... You don't have them, right?

You don't have them; I have them. I am the real Christopher "Christian" "Ricardo" Weston Chandler. So, please, for eve... for all time in the future and now. Leave this damned game, you stupid dumb impostor.

Also, please respond in good Spanish, if not good? You are not real, you are the impostor, respond in English? NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD, YOU DUMB IMPOSTOR!!!

Peace

====Alternate translation====

Captain's Log, Stardate: May(?) 29th, 2009

Aye! The impostor in brown stripes! I have two years of Spanish in my secondary school, Manchester High, with my pretty lady.
And I received during my classes [''jump/pause''] the nickname that I used for my Internet: Ricardo. My name is Ricardo in the Spanish classes.

Remember the Pokésite de R.W.C con CWC Pokésite 2, CWC [''unintelligible''], the Original CWC Sonichu site.

I am going to make a bet: that you, the impostor didn't graduated from High School. Really? I the true, Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler. Didn't just graduated from Manchester High with my DEGREE. [''shows degree, then lowers it''] my degree of Basketball in my freshman year [''same previous motion'']. Stupid, you are stupid!

Not only it takes years but with my points of Honor Roll. Good! [''cut''] And how it was who wrote in the comics of Sonichu, Rosechu and me, me! I went to Piedmont Virginia Community College for my title and certificate for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. [''shows both certificates, and the second one seems to have some Chris-chan Sonichu & Megan art''] That I diplomated and received in June 2006.

Where is your title from Manchester High? Your title from Piedmont, your certificate from Piedmont for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design.

Where are they? You don't have them. [''dramatic glasses removal''] You don't have them, RIGHT?

You don't have them, I do. I am the true Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler. So, PLEASE, for all future and now actions. Stop this damned game! You stupid and dumb impostor.

Also, I present. Respond in good Spanish. If not, what good? You are not the real one. You are the impostor.

Respond in English? Not good. Not good, dumb impostor in brown stripes.

Peace.

==== A Spanish correction (AKA what Chris would've said if he could speak in Spanish at all) ====

Bitácora del Capitán, Fecha Estelar: 29 de Mayo, 2009

¡Ay, impostor de rayas cafés! Yo llevé dos años de Español en mi preparatoria,
Manchester High, con mi querida maestra. Durante estas clases, recibí el apodo que
uso en internet, RICARDO. Este fue mi nombre en las clases de Español. Recuerden
el ''Pokésite'' de R.W.C, el segundo ''Pokésite'' de CWC, el sitio de bionic de CWC y el
sitio original de Sonichu.

Voy a hacer una apuesta. Apuesto a que tú, impostor, no te graduaste de tu preparatoria. ¡En serio! Yo el verdadero, Christopher "Christian" "Ricardo" Weston Chandler, no solamente me gradué de Manchester High con mi TÍTULO, sino también con mi título de Basquetbol en mi primer año. ¡Estúpido! ERES UN ESTÚPIDO.

Y no solamente me gradué con éstos [''diplomas''], sino también con mis puntos en el Cuadro de Honor. ¿Cómo ves?

¿Y quien fue el que escribió los cómics de Sonichu, Rosechu, y yo? ¡YO!

YO fui a la Universidad Comunitaria de Piedmont Virginia para obtener mi título y certificado en Diseño Asistido por Computadora.

Me gradué perfectamente, y me recibí en Junio del 2006.

¿Donde está tu titulo de Manchester High? ¿Tu título de Piedmont de t—
¿Tu certificado de Piedmont en Diseño Asistido por Computadora?

¿Donde están? No los tienes, Tú no los tienes, ¿VERDAD?

Tú no los tienes, pero yo sí. Yo soy el verdadero Christopher Christian "Ricardo"
Weston Chandler. Entonces, por favor, para siempre, ahora y en el futuro,
¡deja este maldito juego! Impostor tonto y estúpido.

Además, me presenté. Ahora tú responde en español correcto. ¿No puedes? Entonces no eres el
verdadero. Tú eres el impostor.

¿Respondes en inglés? Eso no es bueno, no está bien, tonto impostor de rayas marrones.

Paz.

==Liquid's response==

<center>
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Liquid's Response
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yYAAc9zAVQw}}
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid|Liquid]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]]
| previous =[[CWC More Than A Feeling ]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

Hola! Este es el verdadero Ricardo Weston Chandler. Impostor en el pequeño chaleco, yo no solo comprender su ultimo video, pero tiene excelente dominio de la idioma de Cervantes. Puedo establecer mi identidad hablan muchos idiomas. Je parle aussi Français comme je l'ai pris dans le français des mes années lycées à Manchester. Avec ma jolie professeure de français. J'ai obtenu ma [sic] diplôme avec mention. J'ai même un certificat à partir du moment où j'ai été l'assistant-responsable de l'équipe of PVCC. Auch hab ich zu lernen(?) von Deutschen und bin in der Lage, zu sprechen fließend Deutsch. Nicht zu erwarten, aber il- ich sind(?) ein Zertifikat in CADD. Hmm.


Uso na ja otouha sekapuhu asumeha.(?)
A so ni wa, tadashii Chris naraba to yomeru kare daga. Kano mondai wa subete korera no gengo de otou suru hitsuyou ga arimasu~! Hmm. Um, hmm...


I wish to go over a number of things, but uhh... first I'd like to tell you [''dramatic glasses removal, and replaces glasses'']: I love my sweet Kacey! My sweetheart Kacey and I are going to be together forever! And I love her with my heart! And we met because of... Sonichu! She will be my caring girl and I will never leave her. We have already gone out on our FIRST DATE. FIRST DATE! Hmm...

Now, uh, on to more important things. I wish to, uh, as a high-functioning autistic male, uh, to explain autism, briefly to y'all- [''jump cut'']

Now a, uh, public service announcement, if you will. Autism is a mental block where uh, it's hard to do things and even the slightest of things that you don't want to do will uh, give you stress. When you are uh, stressed as an autistic, it's just easy to fall asleep. And Asperger's Sydrome is- does something to this very similar to autism. People with Asperger's take things very literally, which sometimes is another mental block to understanding others, or the ladies. Hmm. Both the Asperger's and autism are start from a ear- start from an early age, in which you are diagnosed and given documents proving it. My name is Christian Weston Chandler, and I swear on my Asperg- I mean my autism, that uh, that these things must be, uh... remembered.

Oh uh, and another thing, uh: I have made my rectum with Clyde- I mean I have- I have rectified things with Clyde. He has uh, apologized for uh, taking money from my mother's retirements accounts, and I have apologi- and has apologized for torturing me in the past. I thank you, Clyde, and uh, this could- this could be the start of a uh, beautiful friendship. I d- I do not- I do not have to worry about him uh, you know, trolling me anymore...

And finally, uh, Sonichu, the Crystal Chronicles. The game is, uh, coming along so well that I have been able to print out the images that the uh, that the designer has sent me.

[''shuffles through a bunch of papers showing the design process and character concepts. Notable standouts are the [[Billy Mays]] Library, Liquid himself, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].'']

Hmm... yeah, so uh... You know, I'm doin' pretty well right now, uh... I was able to buy my uh, my father [[Robert Chandler]] a uh, a new axe for his uh, [[Bob Walks In|woodworking hobby]]. And uh, I have- I have bought my- I have bought my uh, a uh, Pokemon flutes for my uh, for my mo- mother [[Snorlax|Barbara Chandler]] for her- for her music. And I have bought myself just- just a- a whole bunch of new Transformers toys and animation programs off o- off of Ebay.

[''Voice that sounds like Homer Simpson'']"Autobots, defeat those Decepticlones!"

Peace. Oh, hmm, and another thing uh... The- the uh, Dark Horse Publishers has uh, offered me a, to create my own uh, template for a uh, official Sonichu magazine. So hmm, why'n'ch- why'n'cha take a look here... [''Shows the cover of his magazine''] It's the uh, Rapid Fast News Dash.

Hmmm. I love ya Kacey!

====Translation====

Hello! This is the real Ricardo Weston Chandler. Impostor in the vest small, I do not only to understand your last video, but it has excellent command over the Spanish language. I can establish my identity they speak many languages. I also speak French as I learned it in the French some my high school years at Manchester. With my pretty French teacher. I got my diploma with mention.I even have a certificate since I was the [Can't remember the equivalent] in the team of the PVCC. [Can't make this out, but it sounds like "I also have to learn from Germans"] and I am capable to speak fluent German. Not to be expected, but [can't make it out, sounds like "I are a certificate"] in CADD. Hmm.

==See also==
*[[Spanish]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC More Than A Feeling ]]|nextlink=[[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2009-07-29]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Talk:CWC Update 29 July 2009

2010-08-18T10:32:36Z

AntonImaus: /* 日本語のパート */

==Pro tip==
Chris actually uploaded the bulk of his Captain's Log [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Captain%27s_Log&oldid=1648 here]. In the future, it may be profitable to check the [[CWCipedia]] first to see if Chris has posted the text of the Captain's Log, to save time on transcription. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:26, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
:*That's a good thought, but until Chris starts punctuating like a literate human being and actually sticking to his scripts, it'll probably be faster to just type up transcripts from scratch rather than trying to copy-paste Chris's own speech outlines and then make a thousand small corrections to them. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 16:01, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
:*Hilariously, he STILL thinks it's June there...! [[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 11:10 29 July 2009 (CEST)
I am only an observer in this situation. Without condemning or justifying actions of either groups, I offer my services as an Spanish translator for CWC's spanish dialogues. I am now working on tranlating them on my best of my abilities (18 years of Spanish). --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 03:57, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
*Thank you so fucking much. It's painful as hell but someone needs to do it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:04, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
**Seems I was beaten to the punch, props to the other guy, I added my translation as an alternate. Chris has not a very good grasp of verbs conjugation and adequacy. The "comicos" (comedians) bit was hilarious. --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 04:48, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
:::*They are both very good translations, though I think that we should just have a literal (what Chris actually says) and a figurative (what Chris meant to say). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 31 July 2009 (CEST)

==Chris's transcriptions==
Chris was kind enough to provide his Spanish script and English translation [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/CWC_Speaks here]. Of course, we beat him to the punch by 21 hours or so but we can still use Chris's version to fix any corrections and fill any gaps. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 31 July 2009 (CEST)
:Chris's version of the transcription is riddled with serious errors, like using the word for "anus" when meaning to write "year". [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 06:30, 3 August 2009 (CEST)

==Extended Version==

...is down at the moment. When we use the Deleted Video template, should the video embedding info be deleted too to avoid confusion, or left up to show the video's details? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 20:03, 1 March 2010 (UTC)
*probably left up, i would say. either that or replace it with the cwcvillelibrary mirrors, which never go down (unless absolutely necessary) --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 17:14, 24 April 2010 (UTC)! Thanks for reading!

== Liquid's video ==

Translated the Spanish portion and a large portion of the French, but the combination of grating voice and an inability to speak the language properly made me stop. Will possibly be back, but if one better than me chooses to edit, by all means, go ahead.

I added the German portion... impossible to make out in some places - his accent is horrible - but I did my best. -[[User:Kantenstein|Kantenstein]] 10:07, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

===日本語のパート===

Come on, there have GOT to be some weaboos and/or competent Japanese speakers around here. That the Japanese part remained untranscribed and untranslated is pretty disappointing considering the vast anime knowldedge held by CWCki users DESU YO~!!! --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 21:35, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
* Ignoring the bit of sarcasm there: I'm working on it, but I have very little idea as to what he's saying. I'm having trouble with the second half's grammar, and there's just a problem with the first. This'll take longer that it should for 30 seconds of audio.
Weeaboo translation: HAI HAI YARIMASU~ --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 04:28, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
:* Hey guys, I wanted to work on this tonight but I [http://www.starcraft2.com fell mysteriously ill right as I got home from work]. I'm receiving [http://us.starcraft2.com/dominion/ treatment] and should be ready to give this a shot at translating the 日本語 tomorrow, along with my transcription effort. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:55, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
** This thing is kicking my ass. The first part is unintelligible, though I keep wanting to hear "musa," "greedy." I'm thinking that it's not tagashi, which sounds like gibberish, but tadashi, correct, as in, the correct Chris. And I have no idea what mandai is supposed to mean... 助けてくれ~ ロニチュせんぱい! --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 11:57, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
*Giving it a shot too. From context, I think he's saying something to the effect of "the real Chris can read multiple languages". The hardest part about doing this transcription is that he slurs on the vowels. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 16:53, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**Just...further...update! I altered some words and Google gives a different translation.
 
::正しいクリスならばと読める彼だが。彼は万大すべてこれらの言語で音する必要があります！
::(Oh) but he does read as if the right Chris. He should sound great in all these languages million!
 
::I removed "aso" because it's more of an exclamation rather than a real word (sort of like "oh". No idea what the first sentence is trying to say. "mandai" was difficult but it has to do with "ten thousand" (man) and "great". Let's assume it said "He should sound great in a million languages!", then it seems to make sense with this video. So yeah, there's my input. Keep in mind I'm not very good with the language as I needed Google and a dictionary. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 17:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:::You probably know this language better than me, but I'm fairly sure 読める is yoMEru. Either way, I think this translation is adequate enough to put on the translation. What do you think? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 16:07, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
::Possibilities - If Mandai = Mondai (問題: problem, question) and Oto = Outou (応答: respond), then "Kono mondai subete korera no gengo de outou suru hitsuyo ga arimasu" = "He must respond to all these questions in these languages" ? [[User:Tadahima|Tadahima]] 18:35, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
:::@SeventhBase. Yeah. I dun goofed. 'yomeru' is suppose to the 'potential' form of 'to read'. As in "he could read this" or something like that.
:::@Tadahima. that makes a lot more sense considering this was a challenge. Speaking of which, the "Usana" in the first line is probably "uso na". 'uso' = 'lie'. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 03:32, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

File talk:Chuhoundlogo.jpg

2010-08-16T21:33:41Z

AntonImaus:

This logo is fucking win. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 09:42, 15 August 2010 (EST)

:It is indeed. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:46, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::Awesome, reminds me of the things that were painted on bombers in World War II. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 07:08, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::[http://th08.deviantart.net/fs7/300W/i/2005/240/2/4/FOXHOUND_Patch_2_by_Hayter.png Da original] --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 07:10, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:Thanks. I was thinking of maybe making into a Userbox, but I can't think of a way to make it clever or unique. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 14:33, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Chris and the industry

2010-08-16T11:42:22Z

AntonImaus: /* Doujinshi */

This is interesting, but do we really need an entire article about it? I mean, isn't there already something that hasn't been said in say, the [[Sonichu (game)]] article? Or perhaps in [[Sonichu (comic)]]? This is really interesting and I know wwwwolf started it and he knows that sort of thing, but it's too much of an essay on its own and not entirely encyclopedic and furthermore, could be incorporated elsewhere. Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:00, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
* I think this is one of the best articles I've read on here in a while. In a nutshell Chris's life ambition is to get Sonichu published as a game and a comic but expects the companies to come to him and this to all magically happen, like when he makes a Youtube video addressing someone or something and expects that person or company to watch it. This is a really good summary of how Chris's ideas will never be published, if they were publishable. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 21:14, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
* Chris is a strange man with curious ideas on how the society is supposed to work, that much we know. I primarily split it into an article of its own because I couldn't figure out which articles it actually belongs to. Bulk of the material here comes from [[Chris and art]] and [[Sonichu (game)]], but they really concern the same issue: Chris's notions about how the creative industries work. In other words, I just got a strange gut feeling that this is a) one of those big factors that Chris does ,''and will,'' stumble in, and b) it's one of those things that kind of affect him ''generally;'' it's not strictly limited to the comic or the video game aspirations. If you would want to generalise the article further, perhaps this could be turned into some sort of a look at Chris's (frequently unrealistic) employment aspirations in general. I know, the "essayishness" can be a problem here - I guess I should think how to summarise some of this stuff... --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 23:45, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
** There's some discussion somewhere on a talk page about publishing industry that some more information can be culled from, though I think much of it is already here. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 23:47, 28 March 2010 (UTC)
** [[Talk:Chris's_resume#Publishing_doesn.27t_work_that_way.21|Found it.]] [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 23:47, 28 March 2010 (UTC)
*** Yup, I looked there too a few times, but didn't put much thought into the additional points yet. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:58, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
** And another thing: I sort of started this article also because I thought it would fit the current theme: Chris leaving the internet and trying to face the reality. Of course, he has not really actually ''done'' anything worthwhile yet and will probably be back at full swing soon... --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:58, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
*'''DELETE.''' This article shouldn't exist. It's all hypothetical, and obviously written by an Autistic warrior or Asperger's limelight stealer. Who cares about the comic industry? Chris has drawn a comic and expressed a wish for it to be published (there is no evidence he has ever tried). Do we really need an article that details (at fanatically boring length) about how he might break into the industry? --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 16:20, 6 June 2010 (UTC)
:* One person's opinion isn't enough to get this article deleted. Also, lots of people care about the comic industry. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:29, 6 June 2010 (UTC)
:* I still don't know quite ''where'' to put this thing, but if the article is too detailed or boring, feel free to cut down the rubbish, like was done in Art and Writing. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 18:31, 6 June 2010 (UTC)
:*This article isn't about Chris. It's about the comic publishing industry. I understand it may be very interesting for those interested in comics, but people do not come here to read about the comic industry. One may care about Nickleback - that does not entitle you to write an article on how Chris might join the band. This has little relevance to Chris (especially since he's essentially given up drawing Sonichu anyway), and deserves no more than a paragraph in the [[Sonichu (comic)]] page. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:14, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:** I've usually written these articles on the premise that people might want to know ''some'' background information on the topic. If you want to say "Chris has a delusion about X, which is stupid", that's fine and good, but it doesn't necessarily tell people ''why'' it's stupid. "Chris wanted to have a career in comic industry, which was a laughable idea" isn't very helpful either, because it wouldn't tell ''why'' it was a stupid idea. We're not here just to catalogue Chris's character flaws; we're also supposed to, to certain extent, back those assertions with ''facts''. That said, I agree that this article ''could'' be cut down and possibly merged somewhere, but I don't think it's fit just for [[Sonichu (comic)]] - how about [[Chris's resume]] too? I'll probably put a comment or two there when I get around to that. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 09:56, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

== Doujinshi ==

Should there be a section on how this would technically be legal in places like Japan? [[User:Hamsterjelly|Hamsterjelly]] 22:31, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
:Not really. Seeing as how he isn't in Japan. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:35, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Well, in America, anime conventions allow this sort of thing provided that you do not mass produce them (conventions usually set a limit of how many can be sold). It's still a legally volatile subject however. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 04:42, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

Shigeru Miyamoto

2010-08-16T11:18:31Z

AntonImaus: Fuck, mistake.

[[Image:Shigeru_Miyamoto_cropped.jpg|thumb|Shigeru Miyamoto - creator of Mario, Link, and many beloved video game characters. He is considered to be the Walt Disney of gaming. Yet Chris insists Miyamoto would be more impressed with him.]]

'''Shigeru Miyamoto''' is the creator of such legendary [[Nintendo]] video game franchises as ''Mario'', ''Zelda'' and ''Yume Kojo: Doki Doki Panic'', as well as a colleague of [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]. Shigeru has been in contact with [[Chris]] for some time regarding the possibility of making a [[Sonichu]] game, despite Chris's constant mispronunciation of his name. Chris also assumes that Miyamoto has absolute power in, not just Nintendo, but the entire game industry.

{{quote|I'm certain Mr. Miyamoto wants to meet up with me and discuss the future of Sonichu and the Sonichu Alpha Project, as much as I'd be humbled and honored to meet with him and discuss the matter; PROBABLY MORE FOR HIM, becuase I am the Original Creator of Sonichu, [[Rosechu]], the other associated characters and the city of [[Cwcville]] around them all.|Chris on Miyamoto}}

==Early contact==

On 15 [[August 2008]], Chris asked his fanbase to bug Nintendo and Sega to make a Sonichu game.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref>

A troll, using a e-mail spoofer (hence the awkward backslashes), sent this e-mail to Chris:

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
Dear Chris Chandler, 
Good evening. My name is Shigeru Miyamoto. Perhaps you\'ve heard of me. If you haven\'t, then allow me to introduce myself. I am the general manager of Nintendo and creator of Mario, Zelda, and countless other franchises.

I normally do not talk directly to fans in this matter as I am a very busy man. However, over the past few months, I have received countless amounts of emails from your fans stating that you wish for my company and Sega to create a game based on your fan character.

I am sorry to say this but I cannot and will not allow this to happen. There are several problems with your proposal, the first of wich is the simple fact that your character is NOT original. You can not make a game by combining two characters from opposing companies and then call it a new game. Things do not work this way.

Second of all, I have read your comics and they would not make a good concept for a game. It seems as though your comics are all about you and your personal problems.

You seem to have created a sort of alternate reality based around you and you only. You must understand one thing if you want to make a game. Video games are a medium where you must think of what other people want. Nobody wants to play a game where it\'s all about you and you only. Nobody wants to play a game about a person\'s inner thoughts and their problems with the world. People have problems of their own. People play games to escape from the problems of the real world, into a reality that they can feel a part of. Your game idea doesn\'t provide that. It only focuses on you and the things that bother you.

Third, I have already spoken with the president of Sega and he even thought that it was proposturous. Not only that, the amount of cooperation it wiould talk to make such a game would never work in reality. Even if we did merge Pikachu and Sonic, who would take the credit for it? Sega would lose the character that basically is their identity and Nintendo would end up with a character that quite frankley just isn\'t an original or new idea.

I\'m sorry but we can\'t do this and we outright refuse to have any part in your game idea proposal. Please stop sending us emails about this as it is simply not possible or probable for us to even entertain such an idea.

Please don\'t take this too hard on yourself. Maybe someday you can come up with an original idea and we can work togehter [sic]. But right now, you don\'t seem to have anything that can work as a video game. I wish you luck in your future endevours and I hope you have a nice day.

Sincerely,
Shigery Miyamoto
General Manager, Nintendo Company Ltd. </div>

Chris shortly afterward posted this facepalm inducing bit on [[Sonichu.net]]:

{{quote|
The Big Brain behind Super Mario, Zelda and other Popular Nintendo characters and games, Shigeru Miyamoto, sent me an e-mail with his response to the Sonichu Game Project. He says Nay, but I bet's he could be holding out on us, or something. So, I say this unto you, my loyal fans, continue with the e-mails and Forum Talks with Nintendo and SEGA of America or Japan. They are missing out on a REAL Profitable thing they can work with me on and cash in handsomely. I sent a detailed reply, but it came back to me in a "Mailer Daemon" message, so I've taken the liberty of printing a copy of the original message, and a copy of my reply that I will send to Nintendo of America for them to transfer to Mr. Miyamoto himself. Give them time and messages.}}

This is an early example of Chris's delusional thinking, flat out ignoring the unpleasant truth that his game idea sucks. He then demanded that any contact from Nintendo be written or via phone. However, as always, Chris never learns.
[[Image:Nintendo's Reponse.png|thumb|Nintendo on Sonichu]]

==The Miyamoto Saga==
{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}
[[Image:Cwcmail.png|thumb||right|Christian discussing his censorship because of Miyamoto's intervention.]]

In January 2009, Chris started to receive e-mails from Shigeru Miyamoto. Despite his suspicions from his last encounter, since Miyamoto was informing Chris that he was interested in meeting Chris to talk about creating a Sonichu game (read: something that Chris wants to hear, as opposed to the other Miyamoto e-mail), Chris magically forgot about in person, phone, or snail mail contact and immediately fell for it. The result? The Miyamoto Saga.

==Trolled==
Chris eventually [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|received an official response from Nintendo]], and only then did it become clear to Chris that he had, yet again, been the victim of slanderous [[trolls]]. In true Chris style, he proclaimed victory.

==Sauces==
<references />

==See also==

*[[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]
*[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Shigeru Miyamoto|Shigeru Miyamoto Wikipedia article]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Miyamoto, Shigeru}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Shigeru Miyamoto

2010-08-16T11:16:59Z

AntonImaus: Trying to make a point that Chris seems to want to impress Miyamoto over the guys that created Pokemon and Sonic

[[Image:Shigeru_Miyamoto_cropped.jpg|thumb|Shigeru Miyamoto - creator of Mario, Link, and many beloved video game characters. He is considered to be the Walt Disney of gaming. Yet Chris insists Miyamoto would be more impressed with him.]] Chris also assumes that Miyamoto has absolute power in, not just Nintendo, but the entire game industry.

'''Shigeru Miyamoto''' is the creator of such legendary [[Nintendo]] video game franchises as ''Mario'', ''Zelda'' and ''Yume Kojo: Doki Doki Panic'', as well as a colleague of [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]. Shigeru has been in contact with [[Chris]] for some time regarding the possibility of making a [[Sonichu]] game, despite Chris's constant mispronunciation of his name.

{{quote|I'm certain Mr. Miyamoto wants to meet up with me and discuss the future of Sonichu and the Sonichu Alpha Project, as much as I'd be humbled and honored to meet with him and discuss the matter; PROBABLY MORE FOR HIM, becuase I am the Original Creator of Sonichu, [[Rosechu]], the other associated characters and the city of [[Cwcville]] around them all.|Chris on Miyamoto}}

==Early contact==

On 15 [[August 2008]], Chris asked his fanbase to bug Nintendo and Sega to make a Sonichu game.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref>

A troll, using a e-mail spoofer (hence the awkward backslashes), sent this e-mail to Chris:

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
Dear Chris Chandler, 
Good evening. My name is Shigeru Miyamoto. Perhaps you\'ve heard of me. If you haven\'t, then allow me to introduce myself. I am the general manager of Nintendo and creator of Mario, Zelda, and countless other franchises.

I normally do not talk directly to fans in this matter as I am a very busy man. However, over the past few months, I have received countless amounts of emails from your fans stating that you wish for my company and Sega to create a game based on your fan character.

I am sorry to say this but I cannot and will not allow this to happen. There are several problems with your proposal, the first of wich is the simple fact that your character is NOT original. You can not make a game by combining two characters from opposing companies and then call it a new game. Things do not work this way.

Second of all, I have read your comics and they would not make a good concept for a game. It seems as though your comics are all about you and your personal problems.

You seem to have created a sort of alternate reality based around you and you only. You must understand one thing if you want to make a game. Video games are a medium where you must think of what other people want. Nobody wants to play a game where it\'s all about you and you only. Nobody wants to play a game about a person\'s inner thoughts and their problems with the world. People have problems of their own. People play games to escape from the problems of the real world, into a reality that they can feel a part of. Your game idea doesn\'t provide that. It only focuses on you and the things that bother you.

Third, I have already spoken with the president of Sega and he even thought that it was proposturous. Not only that, the amount of cooperation it wiould talk to make such a game would never work in reality. Even if we did merge Pikachu and Sonic, who would take the credit for it? Sega would lose the character that basically is their identity and Nintendo would end up with a character that quite frankley just isn\'t an original or new idea.

I\'m sorry but we can\'t do this and we outright refuse to have any part in your game idea proposal. Please stop sending us emails about this as it is simply not possible or probable for us to even entertain such an idea.

Please don\'t take this too hard on yourself. Maybe someday you can come up with an original idea and we can work togehter [sic]. But right now, you don\'t seem to have anything that can work as a video game. I wish you luck in your future endevours and I hope you have a nice day.

Sincerely,
Shigery Miyamoto
General Manager, Nintendo Company Ltd. </div>

Chris shortly afterward posted this facepalm inducing bit on [[Sonichu.net]]:

{{quote|
The Big Brain behind Super Mario, Zelda and other Popular Nintendo characters and games, Shigeru Miyamoto, sent me an e-mail with his response to the Sonichu Game Project. He says Nay, but I bet's he could be holding out on us, or something. So, I say this unto you, my loyal fans, continue with the e-mails and Forum Talks with Nintendo and SEGA of America or Japan. They are missing out on a REAL Profitable thing they can work with me on and cash in handsomely. I sent a detailed reply, but it came back to me in a "Mailer Daemon" message, so I've taken the liberty of printing a copy of the original message, and a copy of my reply that I will send to Nintendo of America for them to transfer to Mr. Miyamoto himself. Give them time and messages.}}

This is an early example of Chris's delusional thinking, flat out ignoring the unpleasant truth that his game idea sucks. He then demanded that any contact from Nintendo be written or via phone. However, as always, Chris never learns.
[[Image:Nintendo's Reponse.png|thumb|Nintendo on Sonichu]]

==The Miyamoto Saga==
{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}
[[Image:Cwcmail.png|thumb||right|Christian discussing his censorship because of Miyamoto's intervention.]]

In January 2009, Chris started to receive e-mails from Shigeru Miyamoto. Despite his suspicions from his last encounter, since Miyamoto was informing Chris that he was interested in meeting Chris to talk about creating a Sonichu game (read: something that Chris wants to hear, as opposed to the other Miyamoto e-mail), Chris magically forgot about in person, phone, or snail mail contact and immediately fell for it. The result? The Miyamoto Saga.

==Trolled==
Chris eventually [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|received an official response from Nintendo]], and only then did it become clear to Chris that he had, yet again, been the victim of slanderous [[trolls]]. In true Chris style, he proclaimed victory.

==Sauces==
<references />

==See also==

*[[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]
*[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Shigeru Miyamoto|Shigeru Miyamoto Wikipedia article]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Miyamoto, Shigeru}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Metal Gear

2010-08-16T10:34:56Z

AntonImaus: /* See also */

<center>{{#ev:youtube|p03W5ElzdGI}}</center>
[[Image:Chrisslitsthroat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris [[Don't Mess With Me|using CQC]] on [[Clyde Cash]] while wearing the [[Chris and fashion|Red-Blue Stripe]] camoflage]]
[[Image:Torture.jpg|thumb|right|"We live in a sad age. [[YouTube]], [[PSEye]]s, [[For Julie's Eyes Only|leaked]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|videos]]... 1990s [[Internet]] had its share of [[trolls]], but at least they had no streaming video. Internet today makes things too easy."]]

Being that '''''Metal Gear Solid''''' is [[Clyde Cash|so cash]], and most veteran [[trolls]] emerged from the depths of [[4chan|/v/]] (where [[Fapcup|wanking]] to [[Wikipedia:Big Boss (Metal Gear)|Big Boss]] is mandatory), several ''MGS'' references have emerged. Even [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] has made some possibly unintentional nods to the franchise. [[Vivian]] has also proclaimed her love for [[Jason Kendrick Howell|Liquid Snake]].

==Allusions made by trolls==

[[Image:Maryleewalshpatriot.png|thumb|The picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh|Big Dean]] featured in the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Good_Fan_Art "Good Fan Art"] article at [[CWCipedia]]]]

* [[The Miscreants]] are an obvious [[parody]] of The Patriots, except while The Patriots specialize in (con)trolling the world, The Miscreants' main field of interest involves manipulating and monitoring the [[saga|sagas]] and events of a certain [[Chris|autistic manchild]].
:The Miscreants' codenames all go along the lines of, "The (x)". This is another nod to ''MGS3'', where one must face [[Blanca|The Pain]], [[Sarah May|The Fear]], [[Ivy|The End]], and [[Julie|The Fury]].

* "Liquid Chris" was the codename for [[CChanSonichuCWC]], noting that Liquid Snake was Solid Snake's genetic twin and enemy who had inherited the recessive genes of their father Big Boss and was therefore led to believe himself inferior, with the irony being that Liquid Chris excelled in everything Solid Chris does.

* Chris's appearance resembles Big Boss in the fan comic ''[[Sonichu Finale]]''.

* [[Wild Sonichu]] was crafted into a Solid Snake lookalike for a scene in episode 7 of [[Fan:Sonichu: The Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]], where he makes TRUE and HONEST love to a cardboard box.

* [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] goes by the e-handle "Liquid Snake".

* Some of [[User:Lime/Clyde vs. Chris: Day by Day|Clyde's messages to Chris]] contain footage from the series.

==MGS and Chris==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|left|Big Boss appeared in ''[[Sonichu 8]]'', but was mauled by faggotry]]
[[Image:KNOWTHEDIFFERENCE.JPG|thumb|[[Sonichu 8|It really could]]]]

*[[LittleBigPlanet#Metal Speed Solid|Metal Speed Solid]] is one of the ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' levels made by Chris. Yes why, it's really bad.

* Gecko and Mantis are shown as chefs in [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]. While physically deformed [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|mutants]], their names are reference to the [[troll]] Gecko Mantis, who got his name from the elite bio-mechanical robot originating from ''MGS4'', and Psycho Mantis, a psychic soldier appearing in ''MGS1'' and briefly in ''MGS4''.

* [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was portrayed similar to Big Boss, with brown hair, a headband and an eye patch. For a while, it was assumed that Chris browsed /v/ for three seconds, saw a Big Boss picture and decided it was close enough, despite Big Boss and Liquid Snake (Jason's e-alias) being radically different characters. Later, Jason revealed that Chris saw an old picture of him with an eye patch on [[Myspace]]<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY A Jason Retrospective Part 2]</ref>; which makes a bit more sense, as Chris wouldn't go near any place as drunk or smokey as /v/.

* Wild sneaks into the [[4-cent garbage.com]] company headquarters, which is apparently full of empty red corridors. Chris may be making a subtle joke at ''Metal Gear Solid'''s typical bland military bases. Or, far more likely, he is too [[Stress|stressed]] to include enemies, or details.

==Notes==
Christian has purchased ''Metal Gear Solid'' from the [[PSN]]; however, he most likely has not touched it because he's too busy playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' or ''[[Brutal Legend]]'' or ''LittleBigPlanet'' or ''Wheel of Fortune'' and the fact that [[Sonichu Special 4|sneaking behind enemies instead of attacking them head-on]] is too stressful for him.

Also of note, ''Metal Gear Solid 4'' is '''not''' listed as one of the best PS3 games according to Chris, even though it has sold over 5 million units, making it '''the''' best-selling PS3-exclusive title to date.

==See also==

[[File:Chuhoundlogo.jpg|thumb|The TRUE and HONEST ChuHound Logo.]]

*Les Enfantes [[Autistic|Autiste]]:
[[Solid Chris]] | [[Liquid Chris]] | [[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]
*Operation [[Duck]] [[Homos|Eater]]:
[[Bob Chandler|Big Boss]]/[[Nudes|Naked Chris]] | [[Barbara Chandler|EVA]]/[[Obesity|Big Mama]] | [[Mary Lee Walsh|The Boss]]
*[[Chaotic Combo|ChuHound]] [[Honor Roll|Special Ed.]] Group:
[[Joshua Martinez|Revolver Jocelot]] | [[Magi-Chan Sonichu|Psycho Chantis]] | [[Silvana|Dickgirl Octopus]] | [[Flame the Sunbird|Flaming Raven]] | [[PandaHalo|Sniper Panda]]
*[[The Miscreants]]
*[[Monthly Tugboat|The Philosopher's Legacy]]
*[[Son-Chu|Metal Gear CWC]]
*[[Crackder|Metal Gear IBA]]
*[[Daniel Weston|Chris Plissken]]
*[[Bill the Scientist|Dr. Hal Emmerich]]/[[Anime|Otacon]]
*[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Cyborg Pickle]]
*Locations:
[[14_Branchland_Court|Chandler Heaven]] | [[CWCville|ZanziCWC Land]] | [[4-cent garbage.com|Shadow Garbage Island]] | [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Big Shell]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri5sRCd-LNs METAL LOVE SOLID 3: STRAIGHT ANGER]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdhYYH1_5SQ CWC 4 - Puns of the Patridiots]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Anime

2010-08-16T07:47:21Z

AntonImaus: /* Chris and anime */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]]]]

'''Anime''' is the term for Japanese animation, and is loved by basement dwellers everywhere. Chris enjoys the artform as well, although it's not his primary obsession. He's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[Image:Uncle_Go.jpg|thumb|Go Nagai, or as mecha anime fans call him: Uncle Go. He is the total opposite of Chris in the anime and manga realm, and has the creativity of a thousand men. He does more in a decade than most mangaka and writers can hope to do in a lifetime. Also note that he's a sharp dressed man.]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokemon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by 2004 he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, though, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in 2005, but hasn't been back to a convention since then. In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''Crayon Shin-chan'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "very-close-to-nude girls" (even bigger shock).

Chris still rips off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "harem" comedy-drama ''Shuffle!'' in 2009; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early 2010, doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around November 2009, Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers: Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Pokémon and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until the fifth issue of the series, which he completed in the spring of 2006. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] A better example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork. (Still shit, mind.)]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''[[Daniel Mimms|Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo]]'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from Dragon Ball.
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''Fullmetal Alchemist'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''Inuyasha'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan Schroeder's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]] and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': In made-up Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
* ''Yu Yu Hakusho'': Chris uses the protagonist's Reigan attack, calling it "Zap Cannon", in [[Sonichu 10]].

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...alot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
# The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
# The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
# The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
# Everyone turns to orange tang juice
# Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
# The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even remotely depressing.
# Asuka freaking out (I don't wanna die).

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Talk:Monthly tugboat

2010-08-16T02:06:05Z

AntonImaus: /* Can someone explain this to me in Chris's terms? */

==To do==
*Chris's references to his monthly tugboat (see Smithey e-mails and Miyamoto e-mails).

----

Random Thought: Since Chris gets paid from welfare out of our pockets, are we not paying for him entertaining us? It seems like a fair exchange for me. If anything, Chris should be thanking us (and everyone else who is an USAfag and pays taxes) for keeping him and his creepy obsessions alive. Since I have to pay for him, I want to get every cent worth from this lolcow. --[[User:Wild Sonichu|Wild Sonichu]] 04:33, 12 May 2009 (CEST)

==Disambiguation==
'Monthly Tugboat' shoud just contain the definition and the times he's used the word, we shoud create another page titled 'Chris and Money' --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 01:38, 20 May 2009 (CEST)

I liek both the above ideas. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 17:22, 30 May 2009 (CEST)

==$800,$750?==

I've noticed that some pages say that his tugboat is $750 and others saying that it's $800. Does anyone have evidence to show which value it is?([[User:Drlugae|Drlugae]] 19:25, 21 July 2009 (CEST))
*The thing is, Chris has said about three different values. I believe he's said "$800" so let's try and find a citation for that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:48, 21 July 2009 (CEST)
*The tugboat rises in value each year so long as cost of living increases, so it's definitely over $800. $750 might be an old number from a few years back. [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 17:06, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

==State or federal?==
Is the welfare program chris leeches off of paid for by all taxpayers or just the ones in virginia? [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 21:18, 28 September 2009 (CEST)
*It's social security. So it's federal. And it is somehow arranged through Bob's SSN. Details as to how this works exactly are fuzzy. But it isn't typical state welfare. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:01, 28 September 2009 (CEST)
:*It needs to be reiterated that this is not a welfare check but a disability check. It is a form of government welfare, but it is not welfare in a "you don't need to work" sort of way but that he has managed to establish he has a disability (namely autism) that prevents him from maintaining or keeping work. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:29, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

== On Advice of Bob? ==

Is there a source of where this came from? If it came from Chris I feel it may be a point to make that this may be Chris' point of view on the matter and may not reflect the truth. --[[User:El Presidente|El Presidente]] 12:14, 3 November 2009 (CET)

== This is bullshit ==

As an American citizen who has a job (albeit a crappy job, but it's still a job) I feel cheated that some of my money may potentially be going to this manchild, not to mention I think it would be lulzy to see Chris lose everything.

Who would I go about contacting to get a re-evaluation of Chris's condition as relating to his monthly disability checks? I'm not denying that he has problems (as that should be very obvious), but I think that he is highly-functioning enough for wellfare to be unwarranted (he likely put that his autism hampers his social skills and thus renders him unfit for work, his large Internet presence is proof enough that this is bullshit).

The only record of his autism is that 2004 paper which, for reasons as mentioned in it's article is not really a good analysis of Chris's condition, so if they decide to investigate it would be most likely mandantory for them to get a fresh opinion. Also, this page (which will eventually surface in any search of CWC, most likely Chris will mention it himself) shows all the money wasted by Chris, and is damning evidence IMO (though CWCki being a semi-biased third-party, there will be concerns about legitimacy, and obviously Chris will decry "HACKERS").

There would also be concerns from the CWCkians that even if Chris were to fail a reevaluation and be forced to look for jobs, that he could simply say no one will hire him and get unemployment without actually trying to apply. I would think, however, that the Virginia employment commission would keep tabs on his case, and contact the employers for their confirmation of their refusal to hire Chris (I live in Texas and have been through 2 jobs, the workforce here DOES keep tabs on you like that. In my case it wasn't about abusing the system, but just confirming that I found another employer (whom they had previously called unbeknownst to me), so I'm basing my assumption of how the system works off of this experience).

Another underlying theme I'm getting from the article and the comments (though I may be fucking up the context) is that the arrangement Chris has now may not be 100% legal, which could lead to extra lulz.

Also, the 9/11 videos would maybe show that Chris has no respect for the government and only exists to exploit it.

I am serious about doing this as not only would this potentially direct my tax money to someone who needs it (or another leech amirite :P ) but it would also be a welcome kick into reality for Chris. The only problem is that I don't know exactly who to contact, should I write to my Congressman, to the Social Security Administration, or to the Virginia Employment Commission directly?

I apologize if this has been asked before, I'm a n00b plus I haven't seen anything about it here.

tl;dr: hey guyz, let's sink Chris's tugboat :3 [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 18:32, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
* From what I've understood, other people have tried to get the State to get Chris's tugboat revoked and have failed. Apparently, the state doesn't care about Chris blowing our hard earned money.
: Trust me, as a citizen of the same state Chris lives in, I'd love to see him go down HARD, but... --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 18:46, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

* That sucks! >_< I'm going to try anyway though. Even if it ends in failure like all the rest, I can at least say that I tried instead of idly paying for Chris's blowup dolls and video games. I will contact all three of the things I listed (Congress, the SSA, the VEC), and hopefully one of them will maybe turn an eye towards this. [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 18:53, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
:* Go ahead and take your shot. There's nothing to lose here except Chris's check. On the other side, Please note that you are not going against a single diagnostic (the '04 papers) but every public official, including teachers, who have dealt with Chris in the past. This will also includes bureaucracy inertia who prefer to be lazily wrong than taking steps to makes things right. I have my personal take on this; Chris is taking "blood" money? This makes this site moral. I will never laugh at a mentally deficient person working a menial job because that person is carrying his own weight. Chris on the other side... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:42, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

You tea party kids can very well try, but I doubt you're going to fulfill your fantasy and get someone kicked off of state assistance. When you have affidavits on your side, it's quite difficult to get them rescinded. But by all means, try. [[User:TheInfendoNut|TheInfendoNut]] 10:01, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

At the risk of sounding like a white knight, I have one question to ask of everyone who thinks Chris is unnecessarily sponging off the state and could hold a job if he wanted to: would YOU even remotely consider hiring him? I sure as fuck would not either.[[User:Senzuri|Senzuri]] 15:00, 6 February 2010 (UTC)

:*No, but Chris isn't unemployable because of his autism or any genetic, biological factor. He is unemployable because of his actions and nothing more. I can't honestly find sympathy for someone who's laziness, theft, dishonesty and disregard for legitimate authority have lead to the creation of a wiki dedicated to studying him (and with over 1,000 articles now to boot). Nobody made Chris unemployable but Chris. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:21, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

Give me a break, it's a couple of hundred of dollars each months. Yeah, it's stuff that could be used to feed the poor, but so could the money you guys use to pay for your internet connection. As this is one of the things that Chris does that actually negatively affects people, I feel like it's one of the major things people attempt to scapegoat him with and justify their lulzy levels of RAGEEEEE. [[User:Chaosakita|Chaosakita]] 07:53, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

Don't bother trying to get rid of the tugboat. You can't, you won't, it won't happen. You don't have demonstrable proof that Chris is faking his autism, for example. Never going to happen. Enjoy knowing that taxpayers are not only going to contribute a million dollars (quite literally) to Chris over his lifetime through the tugboat... and don't forget, Chris also gets food stamps every month too (not factored into that million). [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 17:08, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure the tugboat is voided if you are tried for treason, so lets mail the 9/11 video to the Virginia government and see if we can get him branded as a traitor.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 22:15, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
:Government mail servers are so inundated with e-mail that I doubt that they would ever see it, but the reaction would be quite lulzy if they ever do watch it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:48, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
::I bet nothing will get out of it even if they watch the tape. Chris is a certified Nut-Job. Then, there's the whole "Freedom Of Speech" that applies right there. So, unless Chris leaks nuclear technological secrets to North-Korea, He's pretty dandy with the Treason laws of the U.S. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 23:10, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
:Damn, some of you guys really want him off his tugboat. [[User:TheInfendoNut|TheInfendoNut]] 22:12, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

In the state of California at least, the 'monthly tugboat' averages out at about $825-$850. If California's process is standard for the rest of the country, (which it should be, because it's a federal program) he has to go in for re-evaluations or they'll stop payments. In other words: Once his parents kick off, he's almost certain to lose his funding since he is too much of a stupid fuck to do the paperwork or act like a human being during interviews. Plus, he'd most likely be too lazy to even go to the meetings. -R

== Are you guys crazy? ==
To everyone who wants Chris to lose his monthly tugboat, get a real job etc. I have just one question for you? Why on Earth, given everything we know about CWC would you want him in the work force.

Imagine that Chris did lose his tugboat, and had to get a real job, (and by some miracle was able to hold it). Imagine then, that one day you walk into the Charlottesville Taco Bell, only to find Chris behind the counter. What is your reaction? Do you say "Hey Chris, good to see you working, I'll have three soft tacos?" Or do you instead run out of the store and call the Va health department?

tl;dr it's not welfare, it's a government program to spare people the unpleasantness of dealing the effects of Chris-Chan in the work force.
[[User:aclevertitle|aclevertitle]]

Retards, psychos, ex-cons, etc can all get jobs. The jobs they get are pretty rough- fruit picking, stacking shelves, doing stock audits- but there are plenty of jobs available for the otherwise unemployable. They're extremely strictly supervised and remarkably un-fun, but they exist. Chris could do one of those... but as I said (way, way up higher on this page), I doubt Chris could even do those. He'd just simply refuse. Chris made himself unemployable. Nobody else. If someone chooses to make themselves unemployable through their actions, I don't really have a lot of sympathy for them. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 20:07, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
:This, and the CWCki editors aren't the first people to speak out against welfare abuse. I can't speak for Virginia, but here in Minnesota, I've worked at tax-subsidized sort of make-work centers. At this one place, criminals, immigrants, and retards (such as me) filled manufacturing and packaging orders for companies which would usually be done by machines or illegals or something. Like, for a couple weeks I sat there and unwound coils of rubberized, like, magnets that tore off in little squares (like [http://www.grainger.com/Grainger/Flexible-Magnetic-Strip-2VAH6?cm_mmc=Google%20Base-_-Hardware-_-Clamps-_-2VAH6 this] except sort of perforated every few inches), two squares each, like 10,000 times a day.

:Anyway, point is this is the kind of place you find working with state and county social services to find employment. This isn't the kind of place Joe Neurotypical works for. This isn't the kind of place CWCki editors work for. Frankly, I'm getting the impression that a lot of CWCki editors just don't know a lot about this kind of thing. I don't mean to come down on other people here. I mean, I'm sure you all don't know less than the public at large, but I think we can all agree that works for the public at large doesn't work for Chris.

:"Someone's already thought of that" is all I'm trying to say. Not a panacea, not a sure thing, not magic, but there are ways. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 22:24, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
I do agree and obviously you have a better insight than I into this (I don't even live in America, nor even the northern hemisphere). I readily accept Chris has autism and could easily settle for a less than extraordinary life. Hell, if Chris can find himself a normal job such as stacking shelves or whatever then he'd have a fair bit of respect from me. He would have accomplished something which exceeds his limitations. I would imagine the trolling would, eventually, dry up too (over years and years). Chris could live a reasonably normal life. But... he doesn't want that. He wants everything give directly to him for no effort at all. Rather than accepting his limitations and working to better himself, he believes he has a billion fans simply because he made something. Neurotypical or not, that doesn't fly with me. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:22, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
*I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that. Chris has the potential to have a, albeit very awkward, normal life. But that's probably why so many of us are here, because he has the potential but not the desire to be normal because he thinks he is special. If he got and kept a job and kept his internet presence to a minimum, I'd probably start to feel bad about people trolling him.--[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 08:11, 8 August 2010 (PDT)

== Can someone explain this to me in Chris's terms? ==

"Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an SSDI recipient could have earned from $700 dollars a month in the year 2000, when Chris was 18, to $1000 dollars a month in 2010 without losing a cent of their SSDI income."

I'm not entirely sure how this works. Exactly, what did Bob do to screw Chris over? --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 00:18, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
: Whether Bob "screwed Chris over" is kind of a matter of perspective, but it works like this. If an SSDI beneficiary works a real job and makes enough money, they will receive reduced benefits according to how much actual income they earn. However, there's a threshold that has to be reached before that reduction starts happening, which is what that quote describes. Chris could get a job and earn as much as a grand a month before the government started docking his monthly SSDI check (and he'd have to earn a lot more than that before they stopped giving him any SSDI money at all). So the argument would be that Bob has misled Chris to his detriment by convincing him that if he works, he won't make as much money as he brings in just by waiting for his SSDI checks. The counter-argument would be that Bob still has two brain cells to rub together and knows that sending Chris into the workforce would just mean eventually having to deal with another court date. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 02:40, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::Alright, I should know how this works but it seems more clear now. Thanks. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 19:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:CWC Update 29 July 2009

2010-08-16T00:16:13Z

AntonImaus: /* 日本語のパート */ Okay, that should do it

Talk:CWC Update 29 July 2009

2010-08-16T00:14:54Z

AntonImaus: /* 日本語のパート */ Formatting

==Pro tip==
Chris actually uploaded the bulk of his Captain's Log [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Captain%27s_Log&oldid=1648 here]. In the future, it may be profitable to check the [[CWCipedia]] first to see if Chris has posted the text of the Captain's Log, to save time on transcription. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:26, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
:*That's a good thought, but until Chris starts punctuating like a literate human being and actually sticking to his scripts, it'll probably be faster to just type up transcripts from scratch rather than trying to copy-paste Chris's own speech outlines and then make a thousand small corrections to them. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 16:01, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
:*Hilariously, he STILL thinks it's June there...! [[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 11:10 29 July 2009 (CEST)
I am only an observer in this situation. Without condemning or justifying actions of either groups, I offer my services as an Spanish translator for CWC's spanish dialogues. I am now working on tranlating them on my best of my abilities (18 years of Spanish). --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 03:57, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
*Thank you so fucking much. It's painful as hell but someone needs to do it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:04, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
**Seems I was beaten to the punch, props to the other guy, I added my translation as an alternate. Chris has not a very good grasp of verbs conjugation and adequacy. The "comicos" (comedians) bit was hilarious. --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 04:48, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
:::*They are both very good translations, though I think that we should just have a literal (what Chris actually says) and a figurative (what Chris meant to say). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 31 July 2009 (CEST)

==Chris's transcriptions==
Chris was kind enough to provide his Spanish script and English translation [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/CWC_Speaks here]. Of course, we beat him to the punch by 21 hours or so but we can still use Chris's version to fix any corrections and fill any gaps. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 31 July 2009 (CEST)
:Chris's version of the transcription is riddled with serious errors, like using the word for "anus" when meaning to write "year". [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 06:30, 3 August 2009 (CEST)

==Extended Version==

...is down at the moment. When we use the Deleted Video template, should the video embedding info be deleted too to avoid confusion, or left up to show the video's details? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 20:03, 1 March 2010 (UTC)
*probably left up, i would say. either that or replace it with the cwcvillelibrary mirrors, which never go down (unless absolutely necessary) --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 17:14, 24 April 2010 (UTC)! Thanks for reading!

== Liquid's video ==

Translated the Spanish portion and a large portion of the French, but the combination of grating voice and an inability to speak the language properly made me stop. Will possibly be back, but if one better than me chooses to edit, by all means, go ahead.

I added the German portion... impossible to make out in some places - his accent is horrible - but I did my best. -[[User:Kantenstein|Kantenstein]] 10:07, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

===日本語のパート===

Come on, there have GOT to be some weaboos and/or competent Japanese speakers around here. That the Japanese part remained untranscribed and untranslated is pretty disappointing considering the vast anime knowldedge held by CWCki users DESU YO~!!! --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 21:35, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
* Ignoring the bit of sarcasm there: I'm working on it, but I have very little idea as to what he's saying. I'm having trouble with the second half's grammar, and there's just a problem with the first. This'll take longer that it should for 30 seconds of audio.
Weeaboo translation: HAI HAI YARIMASU~ --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 04:28, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
:* Hey guys, I wanted to work on this tonight but I [http://www.starcraft2.com fell mysteriously ill right as I got home from work]. I'm receiving [http://us.starcraft2.com/dominion/ treatment] and should be ready to give this a shot at translating the 日本語 tomorrow, along with my transcription effort. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:55, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
** This thing is kicking my ass. The first part is unintelligible, though I keep wanting to hear "musa," "greedy." I'm thinking that it's not tagashi, which sounds like gibberish, but tadashi, correct, as in, the correct Chris. And I have no idea what mandai is supposed to mean... 助けてくれ~ ロニチュせんぱい! --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 11:57, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
*Giving it a shot too. From context, I think he's saying something to the effect of "the real Chris can read multiple languages". The hardest part about doing this transcription is that he slurs on the vowels. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 16:53, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**Just...further...update! I altered some words and Google gives a different translation.
 
**正しいクリスならばと読める彼だが。彼は万大すべてこれらの言語で音する必要があります！
 
**(Oh) but he does read as if the right Chris. He should sound great in all these languages million!
 
**I removed "aso" because it's more of an exclamation rather than a real word (sort of like "oh". No idea what the first sentence is trying to say. "mandai" was difficult but it has to do with "ten thousand" (man) and "great". Let's assume it said "He should sound great in a million languages!", then it seems to make sense with this video. So yeah, there's my input. Keep in mind I'm not very good with the language as I needed Google and a dictionary. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 17:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:CWC Update 29 July 2009

2010-08-16T00:13:58Z

AntonImaus: /* 日本語のパート */

==Pro tip==
Chris actually uploaded the bulk of his Captain's Log [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Captain%27s_Log&oldid=1648 here]. In the future, it may be profitable to check the [[CWCipedia]] first to see if Chris has posted the text of the Captain's Log, to save time on transcription. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:26, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
:*That's a good thought, but until Chris starts punctuating like a literate human being and actually sticking to his scripts, it'll probably be faster to just type up transcripts from scratch rather than trying to copy-paste Chris's own speech outlines and then make a thousand small corrections to them. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 16:01, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
:*Hilariously, he STILL thinks it's June there...! [[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 11:10 29 July 2009 (CEST)
I am only an observer in this situation. Without condemning or justifying actions of either groups, I offer my services as an Spanish translator for CWC's spanish dialogues. I am now working on tranlating them on my best of my abilities (18 years of Spanish). --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 03:57, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
*Thank you so fucking much. It's painful as hell but someone needs to do it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:04, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
**Seems I was beaten to the punch, props to the other guy, I added my translation as an alternate. Chris has not a very good grasp of verbs conjugation and adequacy. The "comicos" (comedians) bit was hilarious. --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 04:48, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
:::*They are both very good translations, though I think that we should just have a literal (what Chris actually says) and a figurative (what Chris meant to say). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 31 July 2009 (CEST)

==Chris's transcriptions==
Chris was kind enough to provide his Spanish script and English translation [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/CWC_Speaks here]. Of course, we beat him to the punch by 21 hours or so but we can still use Chris's version to fix any corrections and fill any gaps. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 31 July 2009 (CEST)
:Chris's version of the transcription is riddled with serious errors, like using the word for "anus" when meaning to write "year". [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 06:30, 3 August 2009 (CEST)

==Extended Version==

...is down at the moment. When we use the Deleted Video template, should the video embedding info be deleted too to avoid confusion, or left up to show the video's details? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 20:03, 1 March 2010 (UTC)
*probably left up, i would say. either that or replace it with the cwcvillelibrary mirrors, which never go down (unless absolutely necessary) --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 17:14, 24 April 2010 (UTC)! Thanks for reading!

== Liquid's video ==

Translated the Spanish portion and a large portion of the French, but the combination of grating voice and an inability to speak the language properly made me stop. Will possibly be back, but if one better than me chooses to edit, by all means, go ahead.

I added the German portion... impossible to make out in some places - his accent is horrible - but I did my best. -[[User:Kantenstein|Kantenstein]] 10:07, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

===日本語のパート===

Come on, there have GOT to be some weaboos and/or competent Japanese speakers around here. That the Japanese part remained untranscribed and untranslated is pretty disappointing considering the vast anime knowldedge held by CWCki users DESU YO~!!! --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 21:35, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
* Ignoring the bit of sarcasm there: I'm working on it, but I have very little idea as to what he's saying. I'm having trouble with the second half's grammar, and there's just a problem with the first. This'll take longer that it should for 30 seconds of audio.
Weeaboo translation: HAI HAI YARIMASU~ --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 04:28, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
:* Hey guys, I wanted to work on this tonight but I [http://www.starcraft2.com fell mysteriously ill right as I got home from work]. I'm receiving [http://us.starcraft2.com/dominion/ treatment] and should be ready to give this a shot at translating the 日本語 tomorrow, along with my transcription effort. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:55, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
** This thing is kicking my ass. The first part is unintelligible, though I keep wanting to hear "musa," "greedy." I'm thinking that it's not tagashi, which sounds like gibberish, but tadashi, correct, as in, the correct Chris. And I have no idea what mandai is supposed to mean... 助けてくれ~ ロニチュせんぱい! --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 11:57, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
*Giving it a shot too. From context, I think he's saying something to the effect of "the real Chris can read multiple languages". The hardest part about doing this transcription is that he slurs on the vowels. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 16:53, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**Just...further...update! I altered some words and Google gives a different translation.
 
正しいクリスならばと読める彼だが。彼は万大すべてこれらの言語で音する必要があります！
 
(Oh) but he does read as if the right Chris. He should sound great in all these languages million!
 
I removed "aso" because it's more of an exclamation rather than a real word (sort of like "oh". No idea what the first sentence is trying to say. "mandai" was difficult but it has to do with "ten thousand" (man) and "great". Let's assume it said "He should sound great in a million languages!", then it seems to make sense with this video. So yeah, there's my input. Keep in mind I'm not very good with the language as I needed Google and a dictionary. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 17:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

CWC Update 29 July 2009

2010-08-16T00:03:16Z

AntonImaus: /* Transcript */ Fairly confident that it is "tadashii (correct)".

In "'''CWC Update 29 July 2009'''" (officially "'''CWC Update 07292009'''" for the original video and its extended cut, "'''CWC Update 07292009-2'''" for the Spanish companion video), [[Chris]] explains that he is a [[troll]] trolling trolls. Note that he somehow grew his full goatee back instantly.

He would later replace the video with an extended version, which adds a close-up of his driver's license and Chris asking his viewers to read about the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] on [[CWCipedia]], which he claims to be the new, official [[Sonichu]] website. Also of note is the addendum, in which Chris horribly mangles the language of Cervantes and infuriates many a speaker of the world's second language with most native speakers.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 29 July 2009
| image = {{#ev:youtube|w5AokNuon50}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling | CWC More than a Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back | That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}} </center>
===Transcript===

Alright... [[Captain's Log]], Stardate: July 29th, 2009.

Let's get this over with right off the bat. Dispelling rumors and making a few points. There are NO official [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] merchandise yet. Whatever you're buying right now, it's fake, especially from the damn [[niggos|black]]—brown... brown striped [[CChanSonichuCWC|impostor]] posing as me. Ignore all [[YouTube]] videos portraying me in a wrong sense, especially if it is not on my TRUE YouTube account, this one: I-B-A Chandler! Portra—playing also playing off of my father's license plate... a little bit. I B Mr. C! Follow Mr. C's, I'm an important C. (?) Mr. Chandler. [[IBAChandler]].

And yes, it is true, [[Rollin' and Trollin'|I have called myself a troll]], because I am trolling my trolls back! So, in a sense, I am a troll to those trolls ONLY. I am not a troll to any of the TRUE, [[HONEST]] people out there. I just—because of the Internet, and whatnot, it's hard to tell the difference. So, if you're not a troll, and you know you're not, it does not apply to you. Otherwise, you know you're a troll. I'M TROLLIN' YOU BACK!

And... it's okay to be... [[autism|stupid]] sometimes. Stupid... [[It's UGH!|damn, dirty song!]] While it is NOT okay to be [[Homos|homosexual]], I will let—I will personally not judge any individual of that... one trait. I am willing to be friends with homosexuals. And let me make it clear: I will NOT TOLERATE ANY FURTHER DAMN, DIRTY STUPID QUESTIONS QUESTIONING MY DANG ORIENTATION! I, CHRISTOPHER "CHRISTIAN" WESTON CHANDLER, AM STRAIGHT! Have good faith... in me. And... to all my loyal, true [[trolls|viewers, fans everybody]]: you will be rewarded.

I leave that with you. Peace, and have a good day.

==Extended version==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 29 July 2009 (Extended)
| image = {{#ev:youtube|bSObbKWYmBE}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2}} Red Stuttgart
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling | CWC More than a Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back | That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

Alright. Captain's Log, Stardate: July 29th, 2009.

Let's get this over with, right off the bat. Dispelling... rumors. And making a few points. [''looks at a piece of paper, apparently with his notes''] There are no... official... Sonichu or Rosechu merchandise yet. Whatever you're buying, right now, it's FAKE, especially from the damn black—brown—brown-STRIPED impostor posing as me. [''looks back at paper''] And I can best prove who I am. [''moves away from camera, but comes closer to it and shoves his face in the camera''] CLOSE UP. ZOOMING in on ME. [''shoves driver's license into the camera, mumbles''] With... my driver's license... with the customer number censored. [''flips the license around''] Can you copy FRONT and BACK? FRONT and BACK? [''turns it to its side''] THICKNESS? [''flips to the back''] Front... [''flips back to the front''] Front reflective Virginia... Can you see it? [''pulls license away and shoves his face back in''] I think... [''dramatic glasses removal''] ...not.

I think not. ''flashes license again'']

[''steps back into proper frame, reads off of paper'']

Ignore all YouTube videos portraying me in a wrong sense. Especially if it's not on my true YouTube account, this one, '''''IBA'''Chandler''. Portray—playing—also playing off my father's license plate. Little bit. I be Mr C. A lot of Mr. C's... I'm an important C.: Mr. Chandler. I be a Chandler.

[''looks back at paper'']

And yes, it is true: I have called myself a troll because I'm trolling my trolls back, so, in a sense, I am a troll to those trolls only. I am NOT a troll to any of the other True and Honest people out there. [''replaces glasses''] I just—because of the internet and whatnot, it's hard to tell the difference. So, if you are not a troll, and you know you're not, this does not apply to you. Otherwise, if you know you're a troll... [''shrugs, then points dramatically''] I'M TROLLING YOU BACK! [''points and goes to say something, but doesn't'']

AND... it'sokaytobestupids. [''he says this fast and softly, then mumbles''] ...That damn, dirty song. [''looks at paper, ponders.''] While it's NOT okay to be homosexual, I will not j—I will not personally judge any individual [''removes glasses again, and starts reading off the paper''] ...that one trait. I am willing to be friends with the homosexuals. And let me make it clear: [''drops glasses, lifts finger''] I will not tolerate '''any more damn, dirty, stupid question my dang orientation'''! I, Christopher Christian Weston Chandler, am STUH-RAIGHT! Have good faith in me.

And to all my True, Loyal viewers, fans, everybody. You will be rewarded. Look up the history of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens for one, a full, extended story from. My. Head. And my hands, typed. On the new, the official, as of 2009, the new s—the official s—CWC's Sonichu and Rosechu Site.

I will leave that with you. Peace, and have a good day.

==Addendum==

In this video, Chris horribly mangles the Spanish language. There are a total of 18 jump cuts in this 193-second video, suggesting that rather than speaking Spanish as a second language, he simply wrote a script based on his limited knowledge and consulted it after every sentence, hoping no one would notice.

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 29 July 2009 (Addendum)
| image = {{#ev:youtube|9M4sHq3Y0KM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Smug|text}}
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling | CWC More than a Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back | That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

====Original====

''Captain's Log, Stardate: May(?) 29th, 2009''

¡AY! Impostor en rayas de marrón. [''cut''] Yo tenía dos años de español en mi escuella secundaria, Manchester High. Con mi señora bonita. [''cut'']

Y yo recibe durante los clases [''cut''] el apodo que yo use para mi Internet, RICARDO, mi nombre fue Ricardo en las clases de español. [''cut''] Recuerde el es- el Pokésite de R.W.C [''the W is pronounced ''doble ve'' like in Spain''] con ''CWC Pokésite 2'', ''CWC's Bionicle site'', ''CWC's Hot Wheels site'', ''the original CWC Sonichu site''. [''cut'']

Yo voy a hácer una apuesta. Que tu, el impostor, no graduaste desde [''high pitch''] TU escuela secundaria. ¡En serio! [''cut''] Yo, el verdad, Christopher Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler, [''cut''] no solamente me gradue de Manchester High con mi TITÚLO [shows degree, then puts it down]. Mi titúlio de ''basketball'' en mi fi- en mi año de ''freshman'' [''shows his basketball degree, proceeds to put it down'']. ¡Stúpido! TU ERES STUPIDO. [''cut'']

No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos de ''[[HONOR ROLL]]''. ¡Bueño! [''cut'']

¿Y como fue escribe en los cómicos de Sonichu [''feels his badge''], Rosechu y yo? [''semi-gangster expression''] ¡Yo! [''cut'']

Yo fue a Piedmont Virginia Community College para mi—[''cut''] Para mi título y certificado para ''COMPUTA EDIT DRAFTING AND DEZAIN''. [''shows both certificates, and the second one seems to have some Chris-chan Sonichu & Megan art''] [''cut'']

Que yo diplomade muy bueño y recibe en... ''June, 2006''. [''guess he never learned how to say dates in Spanish''] [''cut'']

¿Donde está tu titúlo de Manchester High? Tu titúlo de Piedmont de t—¿Tu certificado de Piedmont de ''Computer-Ai—drafting & design''?

¿Donde están? [''cut''] Tu no tienes. [''dramatic glasses removal''] Tu no tienes. ¿VERRRRDAD?

Tu no tienes, yo tiene. Yo soy el verdad Christopher Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler. Entonces, POR FAVOR. Para todo el—todos los veces en el futuro y ahora. [''hand gestures''] [''cut''] ¡Dejar de este juego maldito! Impostor, tonto y estúpido. [''homo pose''] [''cut'']

También. Me presente. Responde en español bueño. [''because your Spanish is excellent, Ricardo''] ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor. [''cut'']

¿Responde en Íngles? No es bueño. No es bueño, tonto impostor en rayas de marrón. [''cut'']

Paz.

====English translation====

Captain's Log, Stardate May(?) 29th, 2009

Aye! The impostor in brown stripes! I have two years of Spanish in my secondary school, Manchester High, with my pretty lady.

And during class I received the nickname I use on the Internet "[[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]]". Ricardo, my name in Spanish is Ricardo. Remember the Pokésite of RWC with CWC Pokésite 2 CWC Bionicle site and original Sonichu site.

I'm gonna bet you impostor that you didn't graduate from your high school. Really? I the real Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler not only did I graduate from Manchester High School [''shows his high school diploma''] with my diploma. My basketball diploma from my freshman year [''shows his stupid diploma''] Stupid.... You are stupid!

Not only with them but with my honor roll points, good!

And how was it that I wrote the comedians [''translator's note: He actually says comedians, instead of comics''] of Sonichu Rosechu and me?

I went to PVCC for my title, certificate of CADD [''shows a couple of diplomas, and second one of the them with his stupid Chris-chan drawing holding Megan''] I received a very good diploma in June 2006.

Where is your title from Manchester High? Where is your certifica...—your certificate from PVCC for CADD? WHERE ARE THEY? You don't have them.... You don't have them, right?

You don't have them; I have them. I am the real Christopher "Christian" "Ricardo" Weston Chandler. So, please, for eve... for all time in the future and now. Leave this damned game, you stupid dumb impostor.

Also, please respond in good Spanish, if not good? You are not real, you are the impostor, respond in English? NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD, YOU DUMB IMPOSTOR!!!

Peace

====Alternate translation====

Captain's Log, Stardate: May(?) 29th, 2009

Aye! The impostor in brown stripes! I have two years of Spanish in my secondary school, Manchester High, with my pretty lady.
And I received during my classes [''jump/pause''] the nickname that I used for my Internet: Ricardo. My name is Ricardo in the Spanish classes.

Remember the Pokésite de R.W.C con CWC Pokésite 2, CWC [''unintelligible''], the Original CWC Sonichu site.

I am going to make a bet: that you, the impostor didn't graduated from High School. Really? I the true, Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler. Didn't just graduated from Manchester High with my DEGREE. [''shows degree, then lowers it''] my degree of Basketball in my freshman year [''same previous motion'']. Stupid, you are stupid!

Not only it takes years but with my points of Honor Roll. Good! [''cut''] And how it was who wrote in the comics of Sonichu, Rosechu and me, me! I went to Piedmont Virginia Community College for my title and certificate for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. [''shows both certificates, and the second one seems to have some Chris-chan Sonichu & Megan art''] That I diplomated and received in June 2006.

Where is your title from Manchester High? Your title from Piedmont, your certificate from Piedmont for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design.

Where are they? You don't have them. [''dramatic glasses removal''] You don't have them, RIGHT?

You don't have them, I do. I am the true Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler. So, PLEASE, for all future and now actions. Stop this damned game! You stupid and dumb impostor.

Also, I present. Respond in good Spanish. If not, what good? You are not the real one. You are the impostor.

Respond in English? Not good. Not good, dumb impostor in brown stripes.

Peace.

==== A Spanish correction (AKA what Chris would've said if he could speak in Spanish at all) ====

Bitácora del Capitán, Fecha Estelar: 29 de Mayo, 2009

¡Ay, impostor de rayas cafés! Yo llevé dos años de Español en mi preparatoria,
Manchester High, con mi querida maestra. Durante estas clases, recibí el apodo que
uso en internet, RICARDO. Este fue mi nombre en las clases de Español. Recuerden
el ''Pokésite'' de R.W.C, el segundo ''Pokésite'' de CWC, el sitio de bionic de CWC y el
sitio original de Sonichu.

Voy a hacer una apuesta. Apuesto a que tú, impostor, no te graduaste de tu preparatoria. ¡En serio! Yo el verdadero, Christopher "Christian" "Ricardo" Weston Chandler, no solamente me gradué de Manchester High con mi TÍTULO, sino también con mi título de Basquetbol en mi primer año. ¡Estúpido! ERES UN ESTÚPIDO.

Y no solamente me gradué con éstos [''diplomas''], sino también con mis puntos en el Cuadro de Honor. ¿Cómo ves?

¿Y quien fue el que escribió los cómics de Sonichu, Rosechu, y yo? ¡YO!

YO fui a la Universidad Comunitaria de Piedmont Virginia para obtener mi título y certificado en Diseño Asistido por Computadora.

Me gradué perfectamente, y me recibí en Junio del 2006.

¿Donde está tu titulo de Manchester High? ¿Tu título de Piedmont de t—
¿Tu certificado de Piedmont en Diseño Asistido por Computadora?

¿Donde están? No los tienes, Tú no los tienes, ¿VERDAD?

Tú no los tienes, pero yo sí. Yo soy el verdadero Christopher Christian "Ricardo"
Weston Chandler. Entonces, por favor, para siempre, ahora y en el futuro,
¡deja este maldito juego! Impostor tonto y estúpido.

Además, me presenté. Ahora tú responde en español correcto. ¿No puedes? Entonces no eres el
verdadero. Tú eres el impostor.

¿Respondes en inglés? Eso no es bueno, no está bien, tonto impostor de rayas marrones.

Paz.

==Liquid's response==

<center>
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Liquid's Response
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yYAAc9zAVQw}}
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid|Liquid]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]]
| previous =[[CWC More Than A Feeling ]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

Hola! Este es el verdadero Ricardo Weston Chandler. Impostor en el pequeño chaleco, yo no solo comprender su ultimo video, pero tiene excelente dominio de la idioma de Cervantes. Puedo establecer mi identidad hablan muchos idiomas. Je parle aussi Français comme je l'ai pris dans le français des mes années lycées à Manchester. Avec ma jolie professeure de français. J'ai obtenu ma [sic] diplôme avec mention. J'ai même un certificat à partir du moment où j'ai été l'assistant-responsable de l'équipe of PVCC. Auch hab ich zu lernen(?) von Deutschen und bin in der Lage, zu sprechen fließend Deutsch. Nicht zu erwarten, aber il- ich sind(?) ein Zertifikat in CADD. Hmm.


Usana ja otoha sekapuhu asumeha.(?)
A so ni wa, tadashii Chris naraba to yomiru kare daga. Kano mandai wa subete korera no gengo de oto suru hitsuyou ga arimasu~! Hmm. Um, hmm...


I wish to go over a number of things, but uhh... first I'd like to tell you [''dramatic glasses removal, and replaces glasses'']: I love my sweet Kacey! My sweetheart Kacey and I are going to be together forever! And I love her with my heart! And we met because of... Sonichu! She will be my caring girl and I will never leave her. We have already gone out on our FIRST DATE. FIRST DATE! Hmm...

Now, uh, on to more important things. I wish to, uh, as a high-functioning autistic male, uh, to explain autism, briefly to y'all- [''jump cut'']

Now a, uh, public service announcement, if you will. Autism is a mental block where uh, it's hard to do things and even the slightest of things that you don't want to do will uh, give you stress. When you are uh, stressed as an autistic, it's just easy to fall asleep. And Asperger's Sydrome is- does something to this very similar to autism. People with Asperger's take things very literally, which sometimes is another mental block to understanding others, or the ladies. Hmm. Both the Asperger's and autism are start from a ear- start from an early age, in which you are diagnosed and given documents proving it. My name is Christian Weston Chandler, and I swear on my Asperg- I mean my autism, that uh, that these things must be, uh... remembered.

Oh uh, and another thing, uh: I have made my rectum with Clyde- I mean I have- I have rectified things with Clyde. He has uh, apologized for uh, taking money from my mother's retirements accounts, and I have apologi- and has apologized for torturing me in the past. I thank you, Clyde, and uh, this could- this could be the start of a uh, beautiful friendship. I d- I do not- I do not have to worry about him uh, you know, trolling me anymore...

And finally, uh, Sonichu, the Crystal Chronicles. The game is, uh, coming along so well that I have been able to print out the images that the uh, that the designer has sent me.

[''shuffles through a bunch of papers showing the design process and character concepts. Notable standouts are the [[Billy Mays]] Library, Liquid himself, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].'']

Hmm... yeah, so uh... You know, I'm doin' pretty well right now, uh... I was able to buy my uh, my father [[Robert Chandler]] a uh, a new axe for his uh, [[Bob Walks In|woodworking hobby]]. And uh, I have- I have bought my- I have bought my uh, a uh, Pokemon flutes for my uh, for my mo- mother [[Snorlax|Barbara Chandler]] for her- for her music. And I have bought myself just- just a- a whole bunch of new Transformers toys and animation programs off o- off of Ebay.

[''Voice that sounds like Homer Simpson'']"Autobots, defeat those Decepticlones!"

Peace. Oh, hmm, and another thing uh... The- the uh, Dark Horse Publishers has uh, offered me a, to create my own uh, template for a uh, official Sonichu magazine. So hmm, why'n'ch- why'n'cha take a look here... [''Shows the cover of his magazine''] It's the uh, Rapid Fast News Dash.

Hmmm. I love ya Kacey!

====Translation====

Hello! This is the real Ricardo Weston Chandler. Impostor in the vest small, I do not only to understand your last video, but it has excellent command over the Spanish language. I can establish my identity they speak many languages. I also speak French as I learned it in the French some my high school years at Manchester. With my pretty French teacher. I got my diploma with mention.I even have a certificate since I was the [Can't remember the equivalent] in the team of the PVCC. [Can't make this out, but it sounds like "I also have to learn from Germans"] and I am capable to speak fluent German. Not to be expected, but [can't make it out, sounds like "I are a certificate"] in CADD. Hmm.

==See also==
*[[Spanish]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC More Than A Feeling ]]|nextlink=[[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2009-07-29]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Talk:CWC Update 29 July 2009

2010-08-15T23:53:31Z

AntonImaus: /* 日本語のパート */