CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Armed man

2018-11-06T01:22:58Z

Armed man:

{{transcriber}}
I try to create and improve accurate transcriptions of Chris' videos. I do my transcriptions in real time while listening to the audio of videos. If I miss any actions or make any mistakes, it's probably because I didn't spend enough time checking my work after finishing it.

I also do my best to improve the general quality of the CWCki's writing, and you should too. If you see any typos or poorly worded sections don't hesitate to fix them!

If you'd like to get in touch and work on transcriptions or edits together, post on my talk page.

Back from a brief hiatus over the summer of 2018,

Megan Shrine

2018-11-06T01:14:04Z

Armed man: Fixed tenses, refined some word choices

{{Taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg|thumb|250px|The Megan Shrine is on the right.]]

The '''Megan Shrine''' was a small shrine in [[Chris's room|Christian's room]], containing drawings and gifts from [[Megan Schroeder]], and an excellent example of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christian]]'s nearly [[Chris and religion|religious]] obsession with her.

Collectively, the contents of the shrine contrasted in a strange way with Chris's otherwise intensive efforts to assert his stereotypical masculinity and heterosexuality. It's full of ''[[My Little Pony]]'' figurines, stuffed Hello Kitty toys, hyper-feminine shoujo manga like ''[[Wikipedia:Fushigi Yûgi|Fushigi Yûgi]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Tokyo Mew Mew|Tokyo Mew Mew]]'', DVDs of ''Wedding Peach'' and other similarly effeminate shoujo [[anime]], ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' merchandise, and at least one American live-action chick flick (''[[Wikipedia:The Truth About Cats & Dogs|The Truth About Cats & Dogs]]'').

The shrine featured different pieces of artwork encased in clear page protectors, organized in two columns, presumably all drawn by Megan. The left column featured Megan's original version of [[Patti-Chan]] as well as various Pokémon drawn in a Sonic the Hedgehog art style, while the right one has a drawing of Sailor Moon along with pictures of two of Megan's characters: Spunky Skunk, who would be written into Chris's comics as [[Megagi La Skunk]]; and Hound Howl, who would be adapted into the world of ''Sonichu'' as Canino Houndhowl. Notably, each picture except for those of Sailor Moon and Patti-Chan appear to have been traced from the same source, an official [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] illustration. This indicates that, like Chris, Megan found some merit in recoloring the same character. However, it is not surprising that Megan's traces and redesigns are more complex and of an arguably higher quality than Chris'.

By [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 19th, 2009|September 19th, 2009]], Chris had removed parts of the shrine, including the gallery of artwork. Almost exactly [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|a year later]], Chris had removed much of the shrine altogether, with the exception of his ''My Little Pony'' memorabilia.
{{-}}
==Confirmed objects==
These are the objects which were collected as a result of Megan and her apparent influence over Chris. There may be more objects hidden in the organized chaos of Chris's room.

VHS Tapes:
* ''[[Sailor Moon]] R: The Movie''
* ''Sailor Moon: The Legend Begins''

To the left of the bookshelf the following drawings were hung:

*[[:image:308-Megtune.jpg|Sailor Megtune drawing]]
*[[:image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg|A drawing of Megan as the ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' character The Dark Magician]]
*[[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|A drawing of Chris as the ''Yu-Gi-Oh! ''character Dark Magician Girl]]
*[[:image:Megan ace of clubs.JPG|A drawing of Ace of Clubs]], who would later on be incorporated into the comics as [[Patti-Chan]].
*A drawing of a Raichu.
*[[:image:319-PendingDoom.jpg|Pending Doom drawing]]
*[[:image:320-Apocolypse.jpg|Apocolypse drawing]]
*[[:image:321-IceCune.jpg|Ice Cune drawing]]

Three drawings were hung to the right of the bookshelf:

*[[:image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon drawing by Megan]]
*[[:image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|Spunky Skunk drawing]], who would later on be retconned in Sonichu as [[Megagi La Skunk]].
*[[:image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl drawing]]. Appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as Canino Houndhowl.

On the bottom of the of the bookshelf three drawings were placed: the covers for ''CWC's Mix Jams '06: Story of My Quest'' [[:image:058-CWCJam061Front.jpg|Part 1]] and [[:image:059-CWCJam062Front.jpg|2]] (apparently some kind of a Megan-themed CD) with a drawing of Mewtwo between them. Photos of the bookshelf after the Megan Shrine was removed reveal that the drawings at the bottom hid a fifth shelf.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0731-Megan Shrine1.JPG
Image:0732-Megan Shrine2.JPG
Image:0733-Megan Shrine3.JPG
Image:0734-Megan Shrine4.JPG
Image:0735-Megan Shrine5.JPG
Image:0736-Megan Shrine6.JPG
Image:100_2247.JPG
</gallery>
</center>
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]

Dimensional Merge Announcements

2018-11-04T20:14:57Z

Armed man:

{{Quality}}
'''Dimensional Merge Announcements''' is a video uploaded on 26 [[October 2018]] where Chris announces the imminent merging of Dimension 1218 and its Sister Dimension C197. Like a doomsday cult leader, Chris explains what will happen during the merging and what to do to survive. After going on multiple tangents, including mentioning Jesus' parents being two women and being able to transform into his Sonichu and CPU Goddess forms at will once the merging is complete, he makes a reference to [[Megan]], claiming she is a CPU goddess and telling the users not to communicate with her while begging her to come to him.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Dimensional Merge Announcements
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pShpKZ9CXfU}}
| stardate = 26 [[October 2018]]
| subject = {{Other|Sister Dimensions}} {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{megan|text}}
| shirt = The Inverted Classic
| previous = [[Down with tyranny; rally in Hawaii]]
| next =

}}

===Transcript===
Chris: Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you life from home once again and we're going to talk about the recent and more obvious topic, of "The Dimensional merge". Yes!This dimension! Right here! 1218. Is going to be merged with our sister dimension "C197" where all of our s- where most of our superheroes, super-villains, OCs, and what have you, and other characters, consisted, have been existing and co-existing. Yep!

Everybody who survives this will get to meet their - will get to meet their favorite superheroes among other thi- among other fs (?) and everything. Huh. I guess there are those that are going to survive and those that are not going to survive. But hmmmn, that's but fortunately(?) should be most of the Earth's population. And those that I do care about are going to survive. Hmmmn. Among which ah that won't survive are going to be [[Pmurt|some of the politicians]]. But aside from that the decision is definitely supported by me but ah also gonna be made in part by your goddess of this Earth.

Yep, the parent of Jesus is a woman. Okay? Yep, just get that mind blower out of the way. Anyway, they're being supportive of all this and everything I'm supporting all of them, and the dimensions are gonna merge, and yada yada yada... Huh.. Farmy (?) my heads, got the thing psychic like and I get the headaches now and then (Grunting). Huh, 'cause I'm so integrated in all this. Huh.. 'Cause who knew I would have-- I actually.. am destined and with the anchuent prophecy of C197 and everything that I am literally, half sonichu and I soon will be able to transform into my sonichu form... be able to run at mach speeds! Thunder attacks! Psychic attacks! Everything!

And thanks to the all-inclusive events including me absorbing the spiral seal found in my own Sega Dreamcast right over there on top of the Commodore 64 monitor.. There is my old C64 right there. The old video connection is still an issue but I do believe I am going to get some very good heellpp on that very soon. Anyway side from-- anyway side from that (Snorting) Destiny and powers inside of me aanndd I have been bestowed the memories and soul of the original CPU of the commodore consoles and the -unintelligible to me(mighty nation, the comma????)-, definitely verified on the internet. Her name is Scarlet.

So yeah. Think I took that story and did a little short but to summarize it-- but yeah she was- she used to be - she was friends with Rei Ryghts, the CPU of Atari, and the Atari Consoles. But yeah, essentially, Atari got buried, and bowled over and bowled over after it fell and at the same comma fell along with it but landed in West Virginia in C197. And then a few yea- and then a few years later, ah, the original Scarlet passed on her soul and memories had got into my Commodore console and I adsorbed them! And I was bestowed upon them.

So, I am Mrs. Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu! CPU Blue Heart of Cwcville, and comma, and the consoles of Commodore. Still getting used to that and I'm still adjusting and learning the ropes of all my responsibilities, powers, and everything. Still in development. -Deep breathe- But anyway, in the comings days up 'till the Dimensional merge you're definitely going to see some visual difference in your locals--in your local surroundings. So just be mindful and watchful of your surroundings.
Aaanndd gunfire. That's a no-no. Keep your weapons at bay! Don't fire at anybody, okay? S'not cool. Oooaaayyyeehhh. What's next what's next? You can tell obviously this is really coming from my heart. I have no script; this is me explaining it as best as I can just to this Earth and this dimension, 1218.

Anyway, don't panic, remain calm, and we'll get through this. We will survive. And everybody will get to meet their OCs and superheroes. Definitely tho-- We definitely stay away from the supervillians though, okay? Let us superheroes and heroes deal with them. Y'know I don't know if you like maybe maybe they can come to a conventional or something for real I don't know, but that's a whole kettle of fish that I am not... It's all a matter of. Huh.
Anyway, uuuhhh if I put a whole buncha- I've had put a whole buncha tweets on my twitter account @CWCsonichu the past number of months that have been leading up to this. True stories. True facts. Okay? So you might want to have gone over that. Huuuuh. Yeah essentially for references that's gonna be a long ways -Unintelligable Autistic babbling, arm flailing-. And also I definitely need to make a personal address to her of this world. Megan Schroeder.

And if anybody tries- and if anybody contacts her, don't! Do not contact Megan Schroeder, of this world, at all, okay? I'm essentially speaking to her directly through this video so then she (can) get (a) better understanding from the recent events and we've been letting her know about recently. So, please, nobody, nobody contact her! Okay?Unless you're really close friends. Aannd Megan, if you do get, get bullied, or if your inbox becomes full, just, ignore them! Delete those emails from those that you do not know personally. Okay?
Anyway, so with that out of the way, aaahh. Megan Schroeder it's still has been so many years since we've talked with each other. I want you to know first off that I definitely have no ill feelings against you and I st- strongly support your relationship with your sweetheart. And obviously I'm not going to come after you whatsoever. I have been married, since last March, to my Magi-chan Sonichu and Cryzel Rosechu, and more recently, became married to Sylvana Rosechu and, to Mew-Two.

But anyway, Megan, your counterpart in C197, ever since her pow- er, sailor senshi powers, Sailor Megtune, have been stripped after the unfortunate break-up events of 06 or 07, or it may have been 08, that actually happened between you and I, not going to go into further detail. She ended up moving to Last Station where she actually did very well in politics and built herself up. She end up with properly bestowed the memories and powers of the original CPU Red Heart. It's still unbeknownst what console she represents but it is a.. Trying to think of a word here... well anyway, it's a- it's a Nintendo console, released only in Germany. And I tried looking it up on the internet. Though there is a reference or two, but the name is always censored. Name of that one console. Don't know why, but it is.

But anyway your counterpart there, the leader of the nation of -leader of the island nation of Crozna, with a miles long bridge extending from East part - East part of the United States of America, East part of Virginia, Very looonngg bridge, to that arti- to that man-made island. Crozna. And s-. Because after I had talked with your counterpart we still had in possession the original transformation pen that she had. I wanted to make sure it had gotten in the right hands so you got it Megan. It was delivered to me - er, delivered to you, you have it. And you also got a share, at least half of it, of Red Heart's powers and memories.

So, Megan Schroeder, of this world, you are CPU Red Heart. At least of this world. There's two CPU Red Hearts. If anybody wants to make a Dr. Who joke, skip it, 'cause I'm talking serious. So yes Megan Schroeder, you are indeed a goddess. Just like I became a goddess. Because we were desto- bestowed memories and everything. So sooner you wake up to that realization the better we'll be. And also keep an open heart and an open mind for telepathic communications from your counterpart in C197.

I don't know what might happen, I mean I don't know, uuuhhmmm. You two might coexist after the dimensional merge, but then again, you two might.. merge together to make one Red Heart. It's still to be determined I don't know that yet, but, just keep calm, know you're a goddess, listen to your counterpart, who is Red Heart of Crazna(Crozna, Chris?) over there. Aaanndd any questions I would definitely recommend bringing to your counterpart as well as bringing to the other CPUs, Neptune, Blanc, Noir, Vert, Uzume, Sabrina. Sabrina of Cwcville, still CPU, battery charged Blue Heart.

Anyway, bring it to the CPUs you'll get your questions answered through that way. Also, I welcome you to come talk to me directly. We'll set up the communications. That way..-but that's to be determined. And so forth. But anyway. So with that, I will be ending this video shortly, but know that everyone, be aware of your surroundings. The changes are going to happen as the two dimensions merge. And you might see some villains attacking. We the superheroes, I'll be fighting alongside them, we'll fight them off and depend, both of our worlds. Do the best we can.

I'm doing the best I can, learning the ropes and everything. Remain calm. Don't fire any weaponry. If you end up seeing your favorite superheroes or your OCs be glad. I mean like those famed amongst the brony community, you see your OC characters and you definitely hear from them telepathically, open mind, open heart, listen up. And that'll help you out in the longer run. Anyways, sooo I think that pretty much covers that for now. Thank you all for listening, for I am Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the CPU Blue Heart of the nations of CWCville and Comma, and the consoles of Commodore. Thank you. Be safe and have a great day.
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Down with tyranny; rally in Hawaii]]|nextlink=}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

Dimensional Merge Announcements

2018-11-04T20:14:21Z

Armed man: Cleaned up article

{{Quality}}
'''Dimensional Merge Announcements''' is a video uploaded on 26 [[October 2018]] where Chris announces the imminent merging of Dimension 1218 and its Sister Dimension C197. Like a doomsday cult leader, Chris explains what will happen during the merging and what to do to survive. After going on multiple tangents, including mentioning Jesus' parents being two women and being able to transform into his Sonichu and CPU Goddess forms once the merging is complete, he makes a reference to [[Megan]], claiming she is a CPU goddess and telling the users not to communicate with her while begging her to come to him.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Dimensional Merge Announcements
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pShpKZ9CXfU}}
| stardate = 26 [[October 2018]]
| subject = {{Other|Sister Dimensions}} {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{megan|text}}
| shirt = The Inverted Classic
| previous = [[Down with tyranny; rally in Hawaii]]
| next =

}}

===Transcript===
Chris: Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you life from home once again and we're going to talk about the recent and more obvious topic, of "The Dimensional merge". Yes!This dimension! Right here! 1218. Is going to be merged with our sister dimension "C197" where all of our s- where most of our superheroes, super-villains, OCs, and what have you, and other characters, consisted, have been existing and co-existing. Yep!

Everybody who survives this will get to meet their - will get to meet their favorite superheroes among other thi- among other fs (?) and everything. Huh. I guess there are those that are going to survive and those that are not going to survive. But hmmmn, that's but fortunately(?) should be most of the Earth's population. And those that I do care about are going to survive. Hmmmn. Among which ah that won't survive are going to be [[Pmurt|some of the politicians]]. But aside from that the decision is definitely supported by me but ah also gonna be made in part by your goddess of this Earth.

Yep, the parent of Jesus is a woman. Okay? Yep, just get that mind blower out of the way. Anyway, they're being supportive of all this and everything I'm supporting all of them, and the dimensions are gonna merge, and yada yada yada... Huh.. Farmy (?) my heads, got the thing psychic like and I get the headaches now and then (Grunting). Huh, 'cause I'm so integrated in all this. Huh.. 'Cause who knew I would have-- I actually.. am destined and with the anchuent prophecy of C197 and everything that I am literally, half sonichu and I soon will be able to transform into my sonichu form... be able to run at mach speeds! Thunder attacks! Psychic attacks! Everything!

And thanks to the all-inclusive events including me absorbing the spiral seal found in my own Sega Dreamcast right over there on top of the Commodore 64 monitor.. There is my old C64 right there. The old video connection is still an issue but I do believe I am going to get some very good heellpp on that very soon. Anyway side from-- anyway side from that (Snorting) Destiny and powers inside of me aanndd I have been bestowed the memories and soul of the original CPU of the commodore consoles and the -unintelligible to me(mighty nation, the comma????)-, definitely verified on the internet. Her name is Scarlet.

So yeah. Think I took that story and did a little short but to summarize it-- but yeah she was- she used to be - she was friends with Rei Ryghts, the CPU of Atari, and the Atari Consoles. But yeah, essentially, Atari got buried, and bowled over and bowled over after it fell and at the same comma fell along with it but landed in West Virginia in C197. And then a few yea- and then a few years later, ah, the original Scarlet passed on her soul and memories had got into my Commodore console and I adsorbed them! And I was bestowed upon them.

So, I am Mrs. Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu! CPU Blue Heart of Cwcville, and comma, and the consoles of Commodore. Still getting used to that and I'm still adjusting and learning the ropes of all my responsibilities, powers, and everything. Still in development. -Deep breathe- But anyway, in the comings days up 'till the Dimensional merge you're definitely going to see some visual difference in your locals--in your local surroundings. So just be mindful and watchful of your surroundings.
Aaanndd gunfire. That's a no-no. Keep your weapons at bay! Don't fire at anybody, okay? S'not cool. Oooaaayyyeehhh. What's next what's next? You can tell obviously this is really coming from my heart. I have no script; this is me explaining it as best as I can just to this Earth and this dimension, 1218.

Anyway, don't panic, remain calm, and we'll get through this. We will survive. And everybody will get to meet their OCs and superheroes. Definitely tho-- We definitely stay away from the supervillians though, okay? Let us superheroes and heroes deal with them. Y'know I don't know if you like maybe maybe they can come to a conventional or something for real I don't know, but that's a whole kettle of fish that I am not... It's all a matter of. Huh.
Anyway, uuuhhh if I put a whole buncha- I've had put a whole buncha tweets on my twitter account @CWCsonichu the past number of months that have been leading up to this. True stories. True facts. Okay? So you might want to have gone over that. Huuuuh. Yeah essentially for references that's gonna be a long ways -Unintelligable Autistic babbling, arm flailing-. And also I definitely need to make a personal address to her of this world. Megan Schroeder.

And if anybody tries- and if anybody contacts her, don't! Do not contact Megan Schroeder, of this world, at all, okay? I'm essentially speaking to her directly through this video so then she (can) get (a) better understanding from the recent events and we've been letting her know about recently. So, please, nobody, nobody contact her! Okay?Unless you're really close friends. Aannd Megan, if you do get, get bullied, or if your inbox becomes full, just, ignore them! Delete those emails from those that you do not know personally. Okay?
Anyway, so with that out of the way, aaahh. Megan Schroeder it's still has been so many years since we've talked with each other. I want you to know first off that I definitely have no ill feelings against you and I st- strongly support your relationship with your sweetheart. And obviously I'm not going to come after you whatsoever. I have been married, since last March, to my Magi-chan Sonichu and Cryzel Rosechu, and more recently, became married to Sylvana Rosechu and, to Mew-Two.

But anyway, Megan, your counterpart in C197, ever since her pow- er, sailor senshi powers, Sailor Megtune, have been stripped after the unfortunate break-up events of 06 or 07, or it may have been 08, that actually happened between you and I, not going to go into further detail. She ended up moving to Last Station where she actually did very well in politics and built herself up. She end up with properly bestowed the memories and powers of the original CPU Red Heart. It's still unbeknownst what console she represents but it is a.. Trying to think of a word here... well anyway, it's a- it's a Nintendo console, released only in Germany. And I tried looking it up on the internet. Though there is a reference or two, but the name is always censored. Name of that one console. Don't know why, but it is.

But anyway your counterpart there, the leader of the nation of -leader of the island nation of Crozna, with a miles long bridge extending from East part - East part of the United States of America, East part of Virginia, Very looonngg bridge, to that arti- to that man-made island. Crozna. And s-. Because after I had talked with your counterpart we still had in possession the original transformation pen that she had. I wanted to make sure it had gotten in the right hands so you got it Megan. It was delivered to me - er, delivered to you, you have it. And you also got a share, at least half of it, of Red Heart's powers and memories.

So, Megan Schroeder, of this world, you are CPU Red Heart. At least of this world. There's two CPU Red Hearts. If anybody wants to make a Dr. Who joke, skip it, 'cause I'm talking serious. So yes Megan Schroeder, you are indeed a goddess. Just like I became a goddess. Because we were desto- bestowed memories and everything. So sooner you wake up to that realization the better we'll be. And also keep an open heart and an open mind for telepathic communications from your counterpart in C197.

I don't know what might happen, I mean I don't know, uuuhhmmm. You two might coexist after the dimensional merge, but then again, you two might.. merge together to make one Red Heart. It's still to be determined I don't know that yet, but, just keep calm, know you're a goddess, listen to your counterpart, who is Red Heart of Crazna(Crozna, Chris?) over there. Aaanndd any questions I would definitely recommend bringing to your counterpart as well as bringing to the other CPUs, Neptune, Blanc, Noir, Vert, Uzume, Sabrina. Sabrina of Cwcville, still CPU, battery charged Blue Heart.

Anyway, bring it to the CPUs you'll get your questions answered through that way. Also, I welcome you to come talk to me directly. We'll set up the communications. That way..-but that's to be determined. And so forth. But anyway. So with that, I will be ending this video shortly, but know that everyone, be aware of your surroundings. The changes are going to happen as the two dimensions merge. And you might see some villains attacking. We the superheroes, I'll be fighting alongside them, we'll fight them off and depend, both of our worlds. Do the best we can.

I'm doing the best I can, learning the ropes and everything. Remain calm. Don't fire any weaponry. If you end up seeing your favorite superheroes or your OCs be glad. I mean like those famed amongst the brony community, you see your OC characters and you definitely hear from them telepathically, open mind, open heart, listen up. And that'll help you out in the longer run. Anyways, sooo I think that pretty much covers that for now. Thank you all for listening, for I am Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the CPU Blue Heart of the nations of CWCville and Comma, and the consoles of Commodore. Thank you. Be safe and have a great day.
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Down with tyranny; rally in Hawaii]]|nextlink=}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

I Am Sick of the HATE!!! (I could use a break)

2018-05-13T13:01:07Z

Armed man: Fixed bad transcript, revised article content

{{Quality}}
{{Incomplete}}
'''I Am Sick of the HATE!!! (I could use a break)''' is a video where Chris rants about the presence of [[trolls]] on his Twitter. This comes after posting a series of unusually angry tweets towards the [[weens]] making disparaging comments within his posts. Chris puts on an exaggerated accent in this video, making his voice difficult to understand.
It should also be noted that Chris is clearly reading off of a script, or a vague outline, and not in his usual unscripted rage video style. This may be evidence for the rumored Idea Guy 2.0 either giving him a speech to read for the video, or writing for Chris after he asked in order to make him come across better than usual. Chris may also have just written it himself in order to keep his ranting more cohesive, which it did not.Chris also says that it was Bob who revealed their address and phone number, which is patently false.

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = I Am Sick of the HATE!!! (I could use a break)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|15LJdfBGyW8}}
| stardate = 10 May 2018
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

===Transcript===
[''angry redneck voice''] HELLO EVERYBODY THIS IS CHRISTINE CHANDLER COMING TO YA LIVE FROM HOME, AND IM GONNA TELL YA'LL SOME REAL, TRUE, SHIT!
I'll tell you what... YES!!! It WAS me on [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter TWITTER]!! I'm sick of the trolls, I'm sick of the hate, HATE HATE HATE on some GOD, DANG, COMMENTARY! I will not tolerate frickin' commentary anymore! I'm sick of the [''hits pillow''] hateful, hurtful, commentary ERRRRRRRR ERRRRRR
I'm TIRED of being HATED ON! I'm VERY STRESSED OUT! I'm human! [''incomprehensible''] Sonichu!

'''OWH NEED A BREAAAAAAK'''! I am a sentimental individual! My father always told me to STICK UP for and STAND UP for myself and HE always did the same thing, you know he did! He told you all the address of this very house, AND our phone number! [''Incomprehensible'']
YOU LOOK! You wanna come at us? You wanna come at us? You come at us! Whoever [''incomprehensible'']
He was... EUGHHHHHHH
And I'm just tired because of TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY HATRED!!!
EUHRHHHHHH!
And LIKE a certain person, many many many years ago, my kindness, generosity, sentiment being taken advantage of, WILL NOT BE TOLERATEEEEEEEED!
And I will not tolerate anymore hurtful comments or BS from any of you spiteful, hating people... ANYMORE!!!
You better SHAPE UP! BE KIND! BE COURTEOUS! OR ITS THAT!
ERURRRRRR!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=|nextlink=}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

BlueSpike

2018-05-12T20:58:37Z

Armed man: /* Today */ Streamlined, improved flow of language.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}

{{infobox
| title = BlueSpike
| image = [[Image:JULAYYYYYYYY.PNG|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = David
|label2 = Also known as
|data2 = BlueSpike LeonSpike Julie Milvana Max Milvana
|label3 = Born
|data3 = 12 October 1996 (age {{Age|1996|10|12}})<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/members/bluespike.6181/ Bluespike's Kiwi Farms account]</ref>
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = <s>Female</s> Male
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = [[United States|American]]
|label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6 = White
|label7 = Occupation
|data7 = [[Troll]]
}}

Most 13-year-old boys only dream of getting to watch an [[autistic]] [[Chris|manchild]] shove pieces of [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]] up his ass. '''BlueSpike''' (AKA '''LeonSpike''', "a 13 year old brat" according to Chris) got to live that dream, when he [[troll]]ed Chris through 2 identities: a [[sweetheart]] named '''Julie''' (aka '''JULAAAY''') and her brother '''Max'''.

The trolling caused events such as Chris admitting to Julie that he had tried a [[dildo]] and [[sex toys|anal beads]], the infamous [[sex tape]] where he fucks [[Kimmi]], a description of a future scene from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] alluding to his [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]], how Chris hates everything that's not Aryan, his [[Bob Walks In|father walking in]] to him [[mass debating]], and other sick shit.

Due to his sadistic treatment of Chris, especially [[Julie Reveals Herself|during the Mumble call where he revealed himself as Julie]], BlueSpike remains a controversial figure among Christorians. He is also indirectly responsible for the "JULAAAAAAAAYYY!" meme, so he is partially to blame for all the [[weens]] who still find it amusing.

==Julie==

{{quote|I can tell in my heart Julie IS 19.|Chris on Julie.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}
{{quote|JULAAAAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!!!!|Chris professes his undying love while screwing [[Kimmi|a doll]].}}

[[Image:LetterfromJulie(2of2).jpg|thumb|left|100px|What Chris believed Julie looked like.]]
[[File:ChrisandJulieLBP.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris and Julie, together in [[LittleBigPlanet]]. The salad days.]]

'''Julie Milvana'''<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref> (born 13 July 1989<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4]]</ref>) was a [[Molvanîa]]n Methodist<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' fan who became Chris's sweetheart after [[PandaHalo]]. Her kidnap by her evil brother Max led to Chris's ill-fated [[Ohio trip|rescue mission]] to Cleveland.

"Julie" first showed up in IRC in December [[2008]], suggesting the infamous [[Tour of Chris's House]] video.<ref>[[IRC (15 December 2008)]]</ref> She later posed a ton of ''Sonichu'' questions submitted by fans<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> and was invited to [[Sonichu Girls]]. As early as 3 [[January 2009]], she asked Chris what he would do if a [[JERK]] kidnapped his [[heartsweet]]--he said, ''"I would learn his demands if any, or if he hurt her, I'd strike the jerk back."'' Julie also got excited by the prospect of an orgy with Chris and the Sonichu Girls.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> The next day, it was revealed that Chris had promised his virginity to both Panda and Julie, and both ladies were furious, with Julie threatening to kill herself.<ref>[[IRC (04 January 2009)]]</ref> Later she calmed down and moved to Ohio to live with relatives. Ever classy, Chris suggested a threesome with PandaHalo.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs]]</ref>

Chris refused to drive to Ohio, instead insisting that Julie come to him. He also couldn't be bothered to attack Clyde in IRC, even when he threatened Julie.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 2]]</ref>

When Chris chose [[Sarah May]] over her, Julie was crushed. Chris apologized, and then abruptly [[Autism|went back to talking about vidya]].<ref name="a">[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 4]]</ref>

Clyde Cash made more serious threats against Julie, forcing Chris to upload a famous [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009 video]] admitting that he was gay.<ref name="a" />

Once Chris got it into his head that PandaHalo had burned to death in a wildfire, he began to focus even more on Julie as a sweetheart.

Chris received a [[:File:LetterfromJulie(1of2).jpg|letter]] written by Julie, the first physical [[:File:LetterfromJulie(2of2).jpg|proof]] of her "existence". In it, it details the love professed by her to Chris.

That Valentine's Day, Chris uploaded [[LittleBigPlanet|an ''LBP'' level]], and Chris and Julie took their relationship to the next level with cybersex. [[Bob Chandler]] [[Bob Walks In|walked in]], and the rest is history. [[Borb|Chris's parents]] didn't believe that Julie was TRUE and HONEST.<ref>[[Bob Walks In Aftermath]]</ref>

In an infamous video on 20 [[February 2009]], Chris created a sex video for Julie with the help of his inflatable assistant Kimmi, in order to give Julie an idea of what their first time together would be like. Chris's agonized cries of "JULAAAAAAAY!" would prove one of the most striking and memorable of CWC-isms; to this date, many erroneously believe that Kimmi ''is'' Julie. This is not so; Chris may be the most desperate man alive, but he's not quite got to the point where he's convinced himself any of his sex dolls are real.

{{clear}}

==Max==
[[Image:Anon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The mysterious Max.]]
[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|Receipts from Chris's epic journey to Cleveland. Note that he asked for no [[pickle]]s on the mayo hamburger, and that the place he at was a [[Sonic]] Drive-In.]]

Max was the evil, mysterious brother of Julie who held her against her will. On 26 February 2009, Chris valiantly [[Ohio trip|traveled to Ohio]] in a bid to rescue her and got his parents all worried. (His ancestors' spirits had wished him "a Safe Trip to Ohio" two days prior at [[Aunt Corrina]]'s funeral.)<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Unfortunately, because Chris got the "wrong" address, he ended up at a run down house in the ghetto that was inhabited by an elderly [[black]] woman.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13]]</ref>

{{Main|Julie Reveals Herself}}

On 3 [[March 2009]], Max gained control of Chris's PlayStation Network account, and during an hour-long audio session threatened to sell the PSN account and forbid Julie from seeing Chris. Chris was coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] to be the mayor of CWCville and shoving the pieces of his destroyed [[Sonichu medallion]] up his anal cavity, before he was able to talk to Julie, at which point Julie admits that both she and Max were the figments of BlueSpike's imagination. At no point did BlueSpike even mention the sex tape (which had already gotten nearly 2 million hits on SlutLoad). BlueSpike's female voice is an unconvincing falsetto, which makes it all the more hilarious (or [[duress]]ful, depending on who you talk to) that it worked so well on Chris.

This incident shattered both his [[heart level]] and his anus to 0%.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|1xo3SAwefBM}}
</center>

{{-}}

==Encyclopedia Dramatica Troll War==
[[Image:Advicespikemedallion.png|thumb|right|Kids say the darndest things.]]

On 5 [[March 2009]], an all-out civil war broke out between trolls on the Chris-chan [[ED]] discussion page on whether BlueSpike had gone too far, whether he was a hypocrite, or if he was merely a tool initiated by Clyde Cash to ruse Chris into the further milking of [[lulz]]. Suffice to say, a combination of outrage and troll remorse turned the whole event into a clusterfuck.

{{quote|If BlueSpike really is 13 years old, then we know who the real child molesters are. "hey, they made fun of YOU for doing sonic recolours?, look at this guy!". "hey! be one of the cool kids, help this autistic guy jack off, pretend to be a girl so we can video tape and record it..." . Thats the REAL reason you were shiting it and called for a 30 minute silence just after, Clyde/Mayes. At least you had the balls to say that it was you responsible in channel once. You know its not going to be pizza's at 1am, and you know its not a fucking cat. If Bluespike really is 13, then you groomed a child to perform sex acts on a mentally retarded man for your pleasure. You're fucked, son. You both broke a lolcow, but theres better sport now, ruining your lives. And dont act like you dont care, I saw you shiting yourself all that night and the next, sending waves of members out to kill threads about it or put in false names, just like Your sock earlier in the page. Ready to have a seat of there?|Wit, ED user}}

Most of the trolling involved BlueSpike having phone sex with Chris for hours each night, listening to Chris masturbating.<ref = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gq35fqRk5E&feature=channel_page>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gq35fqRk5E</ref><ref = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpj5Hg80f1E>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpj5Hg80f1E</ref>  As BlueSpike was in complete control of Chris, he could have done more sinister things, but night after night he engaged in nothing but noisy, fabricated (on Blue's end) phone sex and listened to Chris very loudly go on dates with Rosie Palms. Draw your own conclusions about BlueSpike's sexuality. One such session did eventuate in the legendary interruption by the [[Internet lumberjack]].

==Today==
Today, BlueSpike is easily one of, if not ''the'' most polarizing troll in the CWChronology. Most trolls tend to frown on BlueSpike and his methods, as they echo those of [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]gers. Even so, some weens still yearn to return to the sadistic days of BlueSpike, in hopes of an age of trolling where physical pain is inflicted upon Chris.

While one might think that this level of physical and mental abuse would leave lasting scars, BlueSpike's trolling had virtually '''no''' evident long-term impact on Chris. Just a few weeks after Julie revealed her true identity, Chris had moved onto thinking he'd found another [[Ivy|sweetheart]] online, and just a few weeks after that he had no trouble believing that he was having IM sex with a [[Vanessa Hudgens|world-famous celebrity]]. The main effect it had was that although Chris made a new Sonichu medallion, he stopped wearing it until 1 [[July 2009]]. On August 28, 2017, BlueSpike responded to a question on his Kikifarms[https://kiwifarms.net/members/bluespike.6181/#profile-post-89931] account asking if given the opportunity he would "do it all again". He responded: "Probably not, if I would I'd try to do something more similar to Liquid Chris (not trying to ruin his life and just have fun with him)"

Chris came to believe that BlueSpike was killed at the hands of [[Clyde Cash]], from an offhand comment by Cash in [[Mumble 12]]. On [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|his version of the ED page]], Chris stated that "That little S.O.B. later died at the hands of the "[[Transformers|Starscream]]" Troll, Clyde Cash." Of course, this statement was later [[Car Pranks|revealed to be a complete and utter falsehood ]]. After the events of 23 August 2011, it is evident that Chris no longer believes BlueSpike is dead.

==Called out==
On 23 [[August 2011]], [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|Chris claimed]] to know BlueSpike's real identity (first name '''David''') and threatened to drop dox on him unless he made an apology video by 15 [[September 2011]]. In the video, BlueSpike was to tell people to stop calling Chris "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]" and yelling "JULAAAAAAAAYYY!" in [[prank calls]]. Although BlueSpike did not respond to Chris' demands, the death of Bob 2 weeks later caused Chris to leave the Internet before he could reveal BlueSpike's personal information, and he ultimately lost interest in exposing his tormentor.

Even if Chris did make a video about who BlueSpike really was, it would have been for naught. The personal information Chris had actually belonged to David Harlow, a lolcow also known as [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Nesshelper Nesshelper]. This is evidenced by Nesshelper and BlueSpike apparently sharing the same first name, the "real" photo of BlueSpike being a closeup of [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/File:Davidharlow.jpg this picture of Nesshelper], and Chris' claim of BlueSpike liking big rooms, which references a [http://vimeo.com/21478293 video rant] where Nesshelper complained about the size of a hotel room he was staying in. Aside from not being a troll and having no reason nor motivation to go after Chris, the fact that Nesshelper sounds nothing like BlueSpike in his videos makes it clear they are not the same person. Furthermore, Nesshelper was born on July 9, 1985<ref>http://nintendodojo.com/profile.aspx?id=12501</ref> and therefore would have been 23 years old during the Julie saga.

Chris was presumably given false information to highlight his [[autism|gullibility]] and possibly set up a feud between him and Nesshelper, similar to how [[Ahuviya Rotem Harel]] and [[Christopher Paul Whitney]] made negative remarks about Chris after he accused them of being [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] respectively. Of course, the aforementioned death of Bob prevented a conflict between the 2 from occurring; regardless, it's likely Nesshelper wasn't even aware of Chris's misguided attempt to dox him out.

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[BlueSpike PSN Chats]]
*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
*[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]
*[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
*[[Julie Reveals Herself]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=B3D68D552646B0AD BlueSpike's infamous conversation with Chris] <---- Video Removed

{{Trolls}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Julie Saga]]

Polyamorous marriage

2018-05-04T22:38:51Z

Armed man:

{{ongoing}}

In March 2018, Chris announced that his sweetheart search was over... yet again. He later mentioned that the supposed relationship involves three people (from the wording it is himself and two others), implying he is in a polyamorous relationship – the identities of these two are not known, though he claims they all know each other in person,<ref>[[March 2018 social media posts]]</ref> and has said that one of them is his "loving boyfriend",<ref name=price>[[:File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg]]</ref> with the implication that the other is a woman.

On 10 April 2018, Chris came out as bisexual, apparently after discussion with the sweethearts.<ref name=aprilposts>[[April 2018 social media posts]]</ref> Days later, he uploaded a disturbing video, [[Dick Licker; that is I.]], in which he licked an image of a penis drawn on a wall. He also updated his [[Facebook]] to note that he is a bisexual transwoman, "interested in men and women".

Chris claims to have actually given oral sex to his male sweetheart, which would be farther than he has gotten with any of his previous sweethearts, though this could be a [[Chris's resume|fabricated credential with the aim of getting a job]] – namely a [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|$50 blowjob-for-money deal]] with a probable troll's supposed friend.<ref name=price></ref> Apparently, Chris's relationship is not merely polyamorous but open, as he claims his sweethearts have no objection to his return to prostitution. They also seem to be okay with Chris's Facebook and Twitter image being an image of fanart depicting him being kissed by a female fan, as well as Chris hitting on [[Bryanfrogboy]].

On 30 April 2018, Chris posted about [[Cryzel Rosechu]], calling her "a very close gal" and that he had "promised her" he would make an [[Amiibo]] figure of her. He then liked a comment from a fan which congratulated him on revealing one of his significant others. In [[Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!]], he implied that [[Magi-Chan]] was the other lover.

==Idea Guy: the sequel?==
Early in April, he had posted a drawing commemorating flat-chested women, depicting himself as flat-chested instead of with the usual comically-large breasts.<ref name=aprilposts></ref> While he declined to mention what had spurred him to make the drawing, the changes to Chris's sense of sexuality points to his new sweethearts as being trolls.

Another out-of-character video surfaced in April, [[One-Hundred!]], in which Chris exercises with dumbbells.

In a tweet on 16 April, Chris inadvertently let slip a clue as to how he was being trolled:

{{quotebox|I had not heard much of the Nostalgia Critic yet, but in Cwcville, apparently, Christine and the Hedgehog Boys made a song about him, “The Nostalgia Critic Did Nothing Wrong!” So, some of my family and species likes him. Cool. :) <ref name=aprilposts></ref>}}

The planting of ideas into Chris's imaginary land echoes the technique used by [[Idea Guy]]. Speculators theorize that it is the work of a copycat, as the original Idea Guy was doxed and forced to end his association with Chris several months earlier.

On 17 April, the influence over Chris became much more obvious. Chris's Twitter account repeatedly posted slanderous lies about him.<ref name=aprilposts></ref> He then deleted the tweets, claiming a hack had occurred – this is unlikely due to the speed at which he was able to remove the posts. Again, the content pointed to the likelihood of an Idea Guy copycat. Chris, being [[naïve]], may have simply handed over the password, just as he did with Idea Guy.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref>

==All a lie?==
Chris is no stranger to telling blatant lies, and it's well within reason to think that he's totally fabricated these new sweethearts. Evidence for this includes the fact that he represents the female sweetheart with Cryzel Rosechu and the male one with Magi-Chan.

==References==
<references/>

{{People}}

Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!

2018-05-04T21:45:27Z

Armed man: /* Transcript */

'''Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!''' is a video Chris uploaded on the 4th of [[May 2018]].

In this video update, Chris apologizes for 'the lack of progress' on [[Sonichu]], after angry [[fans]] complained about his lack of work on the comics they pay for monthly via his [[Patreon]] account. He also announces an exclusive comic for his Patrons about himself, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[April 2018 social media posts#Introducing Cryzel Rosechu|Cryzel Rosechu]].

The title of the video may be a reference to the TV series Buck Rogers of the 25th Century.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hOhocm2I2YU}}
| stardate = 4 May 2018
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms]]
| next =
}}

===Descirption===
http://www.patreon.com/sonichu
===Transcript===
Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again goooooooood ''[Begins singing]'' morning! It’s morning! ''[Removes his glasses]'' Mornin’ Mornin’ MOOORNIN’! And with me here (Inaudible)

Aah… Anyway. I have something of importance to talk about right now. Uuh I wish to apologize sincerely for the lack of progress… And uh… but I am not at liberty to explain what happened over the last few months, but it’s all being handled and that I’M BACK! I’M BACK!

And im gonna do an exclusive patreon only 5 page plus comic about magi-chan and Cryzel and I, so… it’ll only be available to donators so… let’s get those pledges back high! And i’m gonn- I ca- I’m ordering the books right now I’m gonna have em rushed over here and I’ll have em all shipped out as soons- as soonas I… get them. So thank you all please, put your pledges back up high and I’ll be able to do a whole lot more. I’m really sorry for all the lack of content and everything and the delays just ''[Chris does a raspberry]'' But we’re all taking care of that an- I’m back. I have people. We’re doing it! Yay!

Thank you, have a good day!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms]]|nextlink=}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

Bryanfrogboy

2018-04-30T22:17:34Z

Armed man: /* Gay erotica poem */

'''Bryan Shickley''' (nicknamed "'''Bryanfrogboy'''") is an animator, graphic designer and the creator of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' Prequel Comic. Bryan's creation of the prequel comic appeared to have caught Chris's attention on 2 January 2018,<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/948620868636299264</ref> and he began following the production of that comic as well as some of his other works ever since.

{{infobox
|title = Bryanfrogboy
|image = [[File:Bryanfrogboy.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = Bryan Shickley
|label2 = Also known as
|data2 = Bryanfrogboy
|label3 = Date of Birth
|data3 = 10 June 1995 (age {{Age|1995|6|10}})
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = Male
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = American
|label6 = Race
|data6 = White
|header7 = Twitter
|data7 = [https://twitter.com/Bryanfrogboy]
}}

==History==
[[File:CWC holding Prequel fancomic.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris, holding the comic]]

Chris first discovered Bryan's Twitter account on 2 January 2018, when he saw the completed second page of the comic. At that time, Chris, along with a couple of bystanders, were curious about what this comic would become. Bryan explained that the comic was meant to be less a parody of Sonichu or Chris's life, but instead a retelling of Chris's life as told from what he believed to be Chris's point of view.<ref>https://twitter.com/Bryanfrogboy/status/948711730640666625</ref>

{{clear}}

==Chris's retrospective==
Chris has commented on some events in his life which were depicted in the comic.

===Barb's hoard===
3 January

@BryanFrogBoy:

{{quoteboxgreen|Page 2 of my @CWCSonichu prequel comic. Not planning on finishing - just practicing

[[File:Cwcsonichu prequel p2 by BryanFrogBoy.jpg|200px]]
}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Please, Do complete this prequel comic; I am very curious of your take of Cwcville Christian's Past, or otherwise your interpretation of my past. For Your Information, the Pack-Ratting and Hoarding DID Bother Me a lot. Thank you.}}

===Venting about trolls===
8 January

@BryanFrogBoy:

{{quoteboxgreen|Page 6 of my @CWCSonichu prequel comic

[[File:Cwcsonichu prequel p6 by BryanFrogBoy.jpg|200px]]
}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Wow! That was exactly how I Felt! It makes so much more sense to me why I impulsively put too much of myself into the earlier books like I did. I Was venting a lot. Spot on, @Bryanfrogboy. Thank you for seeing and appreciating that of me. 😊❤️}}

===The [[Love Quest]]===
9 January

@BryanFrogBoy:

{{quoteboxgreen|@CWCSonichu prequel page 7

[[File:Cwcsonichu prequel p7 by BryanFrogBoy.jpg|200px]]
}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|I really worked too hard on something I should not have pushed too much on, the “Love Quest”... I Really should have focused more on Sonichu, his life and all of that. Instead, I did too much with myself.

I was more selfish back then. I really regret that I was. It has done a Lot of damage to everyone around me.}}

===[[shecameforcwc]]===
11 January

@BryanFrogBoy:

{{quoteboxgreen|Page 9 (pretty sure, losing track) of @CWCSonichu prequel

[[File:Cwcsonichu prequel p9 by BryanFrogBoy.jpg|200px]]
}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|How Could they have been mutual after that, Period?! And now, despite the Original Piece being Totally Torn apart, it still reappears to haunt me. When will that symbol of my sin of lust be long forgotten? Soon, I pray. I continue to Repent.}}

===Apology to [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]]===
21 January

@BryanFrogBoy:

{{quoteboxgreen|@CWCSonichu prequel page 19 - the death of Alec Benson Leary

[[File:Cwcsonichu prequel p19 by BryanFrogBoy.jpeg|200px]]
}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Oh, My Goddess! That was really dark. And such a potent look at myself in the mirror of my past. And Asperchu was only a minor thing that I took too far so many years ago. I’m sorry, Alec.}}

===Apology for saying "JEW!" to [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]]===
24 January

@BryanFrogBoy:

{{quoteboxgreen|@CWCSonichu prequel pg 22

[[File:Cwcsonichu prequel p22 by BryanFrogBoy.jpg|200px]]
}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Not his Heritage, more like his cold-hearted personality.}}

@BryanFrogBoy:

{{quoteboxgreen|I just figured it was a nicer thing to write than when younger Cwc called him a Jew.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|I agree, that Was most insensitive of me back then. I was more upset at Him than Judaism; I really have nothing against the Jewish people, and I am sorry for using the term as an ending insult upon him. That is not cool to do Anytime, or any situation.}}

==Argument over [[Reality Cartoon]]s==
On 3 February, Chris argued with Bryan over Twitter:

Bryan:
{{quoteboxgreen|I don't believe that cartoons are real in any reality, but I can't influence what Chris believes. All I can do is encourage her.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|That is a Real Shame that you say that, @Bryanfrogboy, because our “Fictional” Individuals ARE REAL, and they Do Exist; they are Alive, and Breathing and Living, just like you, I and everyone else in This World. You should Open Your Mind and Heart to them, Fully.}}

Bryan:
{{quoteboxgreen|Okay I'll keep an open mind to this but I have questions. Does the Chris in my comic live a life independent of yours?}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|To answer this question, before I answer the rest of your questions in PM: Yes, that Chris does live, as depicted in your book, independent from the Christine Chandler of Cwcville’s main dimension, but in another dimension.}}

Hippostabber:
{{quoteboxred|Scary. You shouldn't feed into delusions. Do you not see the prob with this given the person i brought up who thought his char where real and killed people . Do you see no link. Its sad and just plain wrong if you are encouraging a person to believe that cartoons are real. SAD}}

Bryan:
{{quoteboxgreen|I don't think cartoons are real and don't encourage it, but I can't change her view. Chris isn't a child, if she thinks cartoons are alive she should consult a professional.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|“Consult a professional” is another insensitive comment. That is Strike Two, @Bryanfrogboy.

More appropriately, you should see it for yourself, to try to Understand for yourself.}}

Bryan:
{{quoteboxgreen|I guess if I truly believed my cartoons existed in another world, they would all be very happy and have no villains or drama. I'd owe it to my characters.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|That is a lovely thought, but there is going to be drama and tough situations for everyone, no matter which dimension; they Earn their Happiness, as they all have fought through their trials and endeavors, like everyone. And That is why you do owe it to your character family.

Because they have fought about as much as their creator, and parental figure, which is you, has.}}

handofgalochio:
{{quoteboxyellow|So, does that mean that every interpretation of your characters constitutes a separate world?}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Situation-wise, and to link it to Cwcville, yes. But like the Sonic the Hedgehog OCs, the OCs from Sonichu and Rosechu co-exists with the originals in the same dimension, which include Asperchu and his friends/family. But some FanFics actually do hit spot-on to the Originals in the same dimension, such as Trickie’s “[[Rosechu's Story]]”, because those situations Are mostly matching to the Original Rosey Rosechu.

Now, with regard to @Bryanfrogboy book, for one example from within, Neither I, nor Christine of the original dimension, has had boxes fall upon either of us as the fire started, and no unconscious moment right after either. Although, while Christine is essentially like my Avatar in Cwcville, she has had Many a different situation, mental and personality aspects from myself, but she still is High-Functioning Autistic, and linked with me Mentally And Emotionally. DEFINITELY in the Emotions!

But I Digress. @Bryanfrogboy’s Story, while Mostly Matching And Reflective Of Christine and I, and our relationship with Sonichu, it would still exist in an alternate dimension where every one of those differing situations would have happened, from Cwcville’s Prime Dimension.}}



==Gay erotica poem==
[[File:Makebrycry.jpg|thumb|200px]]
On 28 April 2018, Chris participated in a contest held by Bryan, MakeBryCry, in which the person who drew him in the meanest way would win $50. Chris's entry was a portrait sketch of Bryan, which included a love poem from what seems to be Chris-chan Sonichu's perspective
:<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts##MakeBryCry]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Bryan, the sexy Shrek-like vampire with messy hair; there is a unique charm that really gives you great flare! Come on over and toussel my quills, and maybe my shock therapy will cure your ills. One that brings out repressed urges, you are the man with the surges! ♥ }}

On 30 April, Chris went further, saying, "I could kiss your good-looking face anytime" in a tweet to Bryan<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Gay for Bryanfrogboy]]</ref>.

This took place during a time when the [[Unknown 2018 sweethearts]] were persuading Chris into thinking of himself as [[Chris and sexuality|bisexual]].

==Possible Troll?==
People have noticed that he has been tweeting in a conversation between him and Chris that in a way seems like he's mocking Chris, for example him saying that Chris is a beautiful soul that would never lie, someone else posting a fake picture of an Amazon ad of his comics and saying that his comic is selling well and making lots of money with Bryan jokingly going along with it, and more recently he made a template of Sonichu's face for people to print out and make their own medallion, and he claimed that Chris approved of this, only for Chris to tweet that he did not approve.

==See Also==

*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Parody]]

==References==

<references/>

{{People}}

Talk:Twitch

2018-04-20T02:03:36Z

Armed man:

==CLog 04172018 Transcription==

Is someone going to transcribe all of CLog 04172018? If so, we might need a separate page for it to prevent clogging the Twitch article. [[User:DirtyCrappedMiniskirt|DirtyCrappedMiniskirt]] ([[User talk:DirtyCrappedMiniskirt|talk]]) 23:58, 17 April 2018 (UTC)

:I don't think it's necessary to transcribe the whole thing. I know that was standard procedure for classic Chris videos, but we keep seeing videos that are 15 minutes to an hour now. It would be an enormous effort just to transcribe random mumbling plus no one's going to read all that and it would just bury any good content. Instead, I think transcripts for long videos should be limited to selected portions which are particularly funny or informative. And the transcript could be included on the page under a spoiler tag, like the one here: https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Paid_Video_Requests. [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] ([[User talk:Hurtful Truth Level|talk]]) 00:06, 18 April 2018 (UTC)

::Fair enough. I think there should be a list of highlights (eg; Chris interviewing Barb, his dogs howling, etc.) under the video box. [[User:DirtyCrappedMiniskirt|DirtyCrappedMiniskirt]] ([[User talk:DirtyCrappedMiniskirt|talk]]) 01:21, 18 April 2018 (UTC)

::: Maybe make a separate page just for the transcripts of videos over 15 minutes? --[[User:Armed man|Armed man]] ([[User talk:Armed man|talk]]) 02:03, 20 April 2018 (UTC)

Talk:Twitch

2018-04-18T14:16:21Z

Armed man: Undo revision 219110 by Armed man (talk)

Talk:Twitch

2018-04-18T14:15:38Z

Armed man:

==CLog 04172018 Transcription==

Is someone going to transcribe all of CLog 04172018? If so, we might need a separate page for it to prevent clogging the Twitch article. [[User:DirtyCrappedMiniskirt|DirtyCrappedMiniskirt]] ([[User talk:DirtyCrappedMiniskirt|talk]]) 23:58, 17 April 2018 (UTC)

:I don't think it's necessary to transcribe the whole thing. I know that was standard procedure for classic Chris videos, but we keep seeing videos that are 15 minutes to an hour now. It would be an enormous effort just to transcribe random mumbling plus no one's going to read all that and it would just bury any good content. Instead, I think transcripts for long videos should be limited to selected portions which are particularly funny or informative. And the transcript could be included on the page under a spoiler tag, like the one here: https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Paid_Video_Requests. [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] ([[User talk:Hurtful Truth Level|talk]]) 00:06, 18 April 2018 (UTC)

::Fair enough. I think there should be a list of highlights (eg; Chris interviewing Barb, his dogs howling, etc.) under the video box. [[User:DirtyCrappedMiniskirt|DirtyCrappedMiniskirt]] ([[User talk:DirtyCrappedMiniskirt|talk]]) 01:21, 18 April 2018 (UTC)

I can start working on transcribing the whole thing, then work through editting out the irrelevant bits.

Megan Schroeder

2018-04-17T18:17:32Z

Armed man: /* Etsy shop */

{{DeadLinks}}


{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

{{infobox
| title = Megan Schroeder
| image = [[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = Megan Schroeder
|label3 = Date of Birth
|data3 = 23 July 1986 (age {{Age|1986|7|23}})
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = Female
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = [[United States|American]]
|label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6 = White
}}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) is a former [[gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship with anybody he's ever had in his life.

Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, she cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against her, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Borb]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]] about her scheming with [[Michael Snyder]] to have him banned from The GAMe PLACe. Chris's attempted contacts with Megan have dragged on as late as [[2017]], making the Megan Saga both the first and longest in Christory.

==Timeline==
[[Image:Megan_Timeline_Prototype.png|1000px|center]]

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]], even claiming to be asexual. She had a few eccentricities, which Chris was more than happy to copy and oblige, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met at The GAMe PLACe in summer 2004, over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games]] marketed to preteens. It only took [[Third date|a few games]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. Megan, however, did not reciprocate this sentiment. It probably didn't help that Megan was getting Chris to buy things for her like a stereotypical wife nagging her husband:

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would obsess over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who was uncomfortable with these advances and only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality to Chris, in an effort to prevent his advances. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue to hound her. Even when Megan eventually resorted to claiming she had a boyfriend, Chris was not deterred.

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan, like Chris, enjoyed drawing cartoons, and this seems to have caught Chris's eye early in the game:

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the series of diary entries that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') soon made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (including Megagi) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on the "art" of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[anime]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes, which became large and shiny.

[[Image:SchuComic6Page50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris [[Ego|critiqued]] some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character getting romantic with Chris, as well as being portrayed in a sexualized manner. Chris completely failed to comprehend why she was angry, but did [[retcon]] a couple of pages to tone them down. This did not placate Megan, however.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown and the prizes for victory, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and use the trip offered in the contest to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost (even after extensive cheating), [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, and Megan didn't care. Even when Chris began whining to her and others about how Adam and everyone else except Chris had somehow cheated, Megan didn't care either way. This childish behavior eventually resulted in Megan losing her temper with Chris, reprimanding him for his selfishness and inappropriate behavior. Despite being hurt by her outburst, Chris continued to harass Megan in much the same way as before.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}

{{quote|And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]]<ref name="secondmessage">[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>}}

In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man crusade [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|pornographic and lewd]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering Megan]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], which prompted an outraged Chris to try to deny accusations of incestuous desires by revealing that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on 18 March 2008.]]</ref><ref name="secondmessage"/>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture depicting her and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured. On 21 [[April 2008]] Megan wrote an email to Chris saying she was not comfortable being around him anymore,<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore]]</ref> thus putting an end to their friendship.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris brashly attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress '''the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her''', and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED]]</ref>

Evidence suggests that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> Chris himself has partially confirmed this account on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan+Schroeder Megan]: "When I started getting too close, [Megan] started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible homosexual."</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC was the last step in euthanizing a dying relationship, rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Aftermath==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Despite Megan telling him she was no longer comfortable being in his presence, Chris was not willing to give up on her. On 11 [[2008#June|June 2008]], Chris sent an email to a person named Tyler Wane, asking Tyler to deliver Megan the birthday gift Chris bought for her (a German-English dictionary). Chris said he could not deliver her the gift himself due to being "forced into hiatus from the Pokemon League by that S.O.B. [[Michael Snyder|Mike]]". Tyler in response suggested to Chris to arrange meeting with Megan outside [[The GAMe PLACe]].<ref><[[Chris emails 2008#June]]</ref>

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]. Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan, though it was most likely a troll posing as her seeing as she had cut off all ties with him.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

=== Chris's version of events ===
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==The Blame Game==

=== Origins ===
[[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: JERK.]]
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and "some [[homos]]exual[s]" to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll".<ref>[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2#26 July]]</ref> His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to give him access to it. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another white female brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].

=== Chris Doxes Megan ===

A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

{{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|February 18, 2012]]}}

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.

[[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris' retarded attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]

On 4 April [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a 20 July 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref> Perhaps, if Chris ever starts the [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]] up again, we shall see Megan taking up the golden hair/helm of being Chris's foe.

=== Megagi La Scapegoat ===

Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

{{quote|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}

[[File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|thumb|left|Megan's fate as a Lego voodoo doll. Notice her goth style clothing.]]
On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Daniel Mimms about Megan's current whereabouts. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref><ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Yep, the Bitch has not changed a thing...]]</ref> Of course, the notion that Chris can perform [[Wikipedia:Sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]] to harm his enemies is [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|befitting]] with his [[Chris and reality|other delusions]]. Chris would continue to use this Lego minifigure of Megan as a totem to relieve his anger for her, and it appeared a month later "in detention" at [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|Lego Manchester High]].

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]

{{quote|
You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the "theft" of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.

{{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}

=== Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===

Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen.

{{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

==Years later==
{{quote|I just say let her, wherever she is, live her life, and I'll just stay here, liv- living mine. It's all done and over with.|Chris, finally moving on}}

On 26 January 2016, in the [[CatKnight Interview 2|second CatKnight interview]], Sir Arthur Spatchcock brought up the topic of Megan and the [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|grudge]] [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#Pissed off|Chris]] [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#Damn You|had]] [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#Address|against]] [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#GAMe PLACe revelations|her]]. Chris claims that he has finally gotten over that grudge, wishing for her to be left alone to live her own life.

In February 2017, Chris looked up and browsed through Megan's Facebook account,<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Found Megan's Facebook]]</ref> sharing one of her drawings to his own account. When asked by [[Kim Wilson]] if they were friends again, Chris responded:

{{quotebox|Not quite; I just gone through my past and recent sent friend requests, found Megan Schroeder, and I liked her cover photo; it's cute. She has a few cute dogs too. At least, she's doing okay; as far as I can tell.}}

The act of searching for his ex-[[gal pal]] came just four days after Chris posted about his feelings of nostalgia for his "friends" from [[Manchester High]].

In October 9th, 2017, Chris once again looked up Megan's Facebook for her online store and left a comment on it:<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Facebook_posts#Complimenting_Megan_Schroeder</ref>

{{quotebox|I just wanted to tell you I like your craft and are. You have become a lot more talented over the years. Many blessing to you and your family. 🌸}}

The post was later removed.

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings are quite obviously traced from the same source.
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu|Yoshimitsu]] drawing, made in [[1990s|1996]].<ref name="tekken forces">[https://web.archive.org/web/20091012030656/http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php Tekken Forces Fanart Gallery]</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|''[[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|Powerpuff Girls]]''-style Yoshimitsu<ref name="tekken forces"/>
</gallery></center>

===Etsy shop===

{{quote|All of my artwork and materials are proud to be "Made in China" free!!|Megan Schroeder, June 2013}}

[[Image:Meg.jpg|thumb|Megan on her Etsy page]]
On 15 June 2013, Megan Schroeder created an [https://www.etsy.com/people/OutOfTheWildFelts Etsy] account to sell her artwork of animal dolls wearing flowery attire. She claims that her artwork is "Made in China"-free, and her materials she uses for her dolls are made in Japan, the USA, and Europe. She has gained a love for nature over the years after the events of the Megan Saga, and is seen in her profile pic to be wearing a photographer's camera, indicating that she could be a photographer.
[[Image:Megwithdog.jpg|thumb|A photo of Megan with a dog from her Etsy]]
{{clear}}

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|[[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Megan.
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|He keeps it upside down to torture her.
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|When he feels REALLY angry, he shakes it.
File:Meganfight 26.jpg|Chris victorious over the evil bitch.

</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Megan Saga|*]]

Look, I Am helping my mother and I with the monies

2018-04-17T13:14:06Z

Armed man:

'''Look, I Am helping my mother and I with the monies''' was uploaded on 17 April 2018. Chris begs for [[eBay]] sales. He does so after admitting on social media that he wants $600+ for a trip to [[BronyCon]]<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts]]</ref> - though he avoids mentioning that in this video.

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Look, I Am helping my mother and I with the monies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Xd0X971gI6U}}
| stardate = 17 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| previous = [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#A few seconds of Barb dancing|A few seconds of Barb dancing]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
Look, everyone, I know you want me to show myself in a video doing what I have- doing what I’m doing for my mom… with… using the money to help pay her back… may- but rest assured the money that I’m getting- that I would be getting is going towards helping my mother! Alright? And it’s also going towards helping me as well, because it’s not just her that has the problems here, I have the problems too! [''Chris stares blankly into the camera, searching for something to say''] So just-just [''Chris’ voice becomes whiny and much louder''] PLEASE BUY THE TRANSFORMER TOYS FROM ME! BUY EVERYTHING FROM ME THAT I PUT ON EBAY, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEAAASE!!!! [''Sigh'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#A few seconds of Barb dancing|A few seconds of Barb dancing]]|nextlink=}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

One-Hundred

2018-04-16T21:53:21Z

Armed man: Removed request for transcript

'''One-Hundred!''' is a video made on April 16, 2018. In the video, Chris is lifting dumbbells 100 times. Chris exhibits poor dumbbell curl form, only performing the top half of the range of motion, basically minimizing the actual effect of the exercise. Also, it's generally not recommended to perform bicep curls in single sets of 100. Chris goes against the conventional wisdom of several sets of 8-10 reps, demonstrating his inability to understand health and exercise. Despite this ineptitude, in the unlikely case that Chris actually does perform exercises like this daily, he may slightly improve his health and make progress towards losing weight. Healthful long term weight-loss requires a change in diet too, something that Chris is unlikely to undertake.
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = One-Hundred!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nTu-D6UAc_c}}
| stardate = 16 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{bubblegumnightmare|text}} {{GopnikOutfit|text}}
| previous = [[With Apologies to Mister Resident]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Description==
Watch Me Now! I have been working out in over a month’s time now with my routine. Yee-Haw!

==Transcript==
Hello everybody, Christine CHandler coming to you live from home once again! Eh… [''Chris pulls his Sonichu Medallion out from underneath his shirt''] Show off my medallion because I was doing a little workout, I do my warmups and workout every… day! Between like, you know, pushups and [''Chris slaps his legs with his hands''] jumping jacks, and the other stretches that I like doing [''Chris waves his arms around''] .Ehh… Definitely working my legs, do, I do squats… eh let’s see, ok, but anway, one thing that I really like doing [''He begins tying his hair back''] which I’m going to show y’all in this very video. Try and get my… hair all back, and my sweatband on. [''Chris puts a pink sweatband on his head''] Hold my hair in place. Then put my cap on. [''Chris does so, picking up the dumbbells''] And lift THESE bad boys up! [''He shows one of the dumbbells to the camera''] Read it and weep! 20 pounders! Both of these are 20 pounders! [''He grunts, showing the other one''] See that well? Anyway, I like to do 100 reps every day! And y’all gonna watch me do 100 reps today! I do 100 reps daily! Most daily! Ok?

[''He inhales deeply''] Anway, count with me. [''Chris begins performing dumbbell curls''] Two, Two… Three… Three… [''He drones off''] Ten!... Ten!... [''Chris begins to move his torso more with each rep, signalling that he is reaching exhaustion''] Thirty!... [''Chris’ voice becomes nasal and hoarse''] Thirty!... [''His form continues to deteriorate''] Fourty!… Fourty!... Here we are… Fifty! [''Chris raises his left hand and performs an archaic strongman exercise known as a “Bent Press”''] and Fifty! [''Chris performs the same motion on the left side''] makes… 100!

YEE HAW! Alright, get yourselves working out with me! [''Chris excitedly taps the bed with both hands''] Do 100 reps a day! But make sure you warm up [''Chris hastily imitates the motion of a tricep stretch, and then does arm circles. Neither of these stretches actually warm up the biceps.''] All the good stuff, touch your toes… [''Chris pelvic thrusts towards the camera and swivels his hips''] I do that on a ten count, a piece. I also do my leg ups [''Chris marches in place''] do 30 of those a day! Ok? So anyway, y’all can enjoy that, have a good day.

==See Also==
{{Power videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[With Apologies to Mister Resident]]|nextlink=}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

One-Hundred

2018-04-16T21:53:03Z

Armed man: /* Transcript */ fixed formatting

{{Transcript}}
'''One-Hundred!''' is a video made on April 16, 2018. In the video, Chris is lifting dumbbells 100 times. Chris exhibits poor dumbbell curl form, only performing the top half of the range of motion, basically minimizing the actual effect of the exercise. Also, it's generally not recommended to perform bicep curls in single sets of 100. Chris goes against the conventional wisdom of several sets of 8-10 reps, demonstrating his inability to understand health and exercise. Despite this ineptitude, in the unlikely case that Chris actually does perform exercises like this daily, he may slightly improve his health and make progress towards losing weight. Healthful long term weight-loss requires a change in diet too, something that Chris is unlikely to undertake.
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = One-Hundred!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nTu-D6UAc_c}}
| stardate = 16 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{bubblegumnightmare|text}} {{GopnikOutfit|text}}
| previous = [[With Apologies to Mister Resident]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Description==
Watch Me Now! I have been working out in over a month’s time now with my routine. Yee-Haw!

==Transcript==
Hello everybody, Christine CHandler coming to you live from home once again! Eh… [''Chris pulls his Sonichu Medallion out from underneath his shirt''] Show off my medallion because I was doing a little workout, I do my warmups and workout every… day! Between like, you know, pushups and [''Chris slaps his legs with his hands''] jumping jacks, and the other stretches that I like doing [''Chris waves his arms around''] .Ehh… Definitely working my legs, do, I do squats… eh let’s see, ok, but anway, one thing that I really like doing [''He begins tying his hair back''] which I’m going to show y’all in this very video. Try and get my… hair all back, and my sweatband on. [''Chris puts a pink sweatband on his head''] Hold my hair in place. Then put my cap on. [''Chris does so, picking up the dumbbells''] And lift THESE bad boys up! [''He shows one of the dumbbells to the camera''] Read it and weep! 20 pounders! Both of these are 20 pounders! [''He grunts, showing the other one''] See that well? Anyway, I like to do 100 reps every day! And y’all gonna watch me do 100 reps today! I do 100 reps daily! Most daily! Ok?

[''He inhales deeply''] Anway, count with me. [''Chris begins performing dumbbell curls''] Two, Two… Three… Three… [''He drones off''] Ten!... Ten!... [''Chris begins to move his torso more with each rep, signalling that he is reaching exhaustion''] Thirty!... [''Chris’ voice becomes nasal and hoarse''] Thirty!... [''His form continues to deteriorate''] Fourty!… Fourty!... Here we are… Fifty! [''Chris raises his left hand and performs an archaic strongman exercise known as a “Bent Press”''] and Fifty! [''Chris performs the same motion on the left side''] makes… 100!

YEE HAW! Alright, get yourselves working out with me! [''Chris excitedly taps the bed with both hands''] Do 100 reps a day! But make sure you warm up [''Chris hastily imitates the motion of a tricep stretch, and then does arm circles. Neither of these stretches actually warm up the biceps.''] All the good stuff, touch your toes… [''Chris pelvic thrusts towards the camera and swivels his hips''] I do that on a ten count, a piece. I also do my leg ups [''Chris marches in place''] do 30 of those a day! Ok? So anyway, y’all can enjoy that, have a good day.

==See Also==
{{Power videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[With Apologies to Mister Resident]]|nextlink=}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

One-Hundred

2018-04-16T21:52:19Z

Armed man: Added transcript, added a bit about Chris' physical activity.

With Apologies to Mister Resident

2018-04-16T21:21:21Z

Armed man: /* Transcript */ Reformatted, added paragraph breaks.

'''With Apologies to Mister Resident''' is a video apology made on the 16th of [[April 2018]]. In this video, Chris apologizes to a ween posing as a professor at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] he had supposedly drove insane. The ween in question made multiple videos confronting Chris the day prior, and eventually weaseled his way into getting a video/response from Chris.

It is worth noting that Mr. Resident made contact with Chris on the same date that marks Chris being banned from his class.
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = With Apologies to Mister Resident
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DpdMExo6ccE}}
| stardate = 16 [[April 2018]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}} {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{bubblegumnightmare|text}}
| previous = [[Dick Licker; that is I.]]
| next = [[One-Hundred!]]
}}
</center>

==Description==
This actually had happened.

==Transcript==
Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you from home live again once again and today I am here to… talk about this person who has come to my attention, this whatcha call “ween”. Um, I’m here to verify personally that there was actual history with this individual, this guy is re-... legitimate, not fake, I will refer to him by his online alias, but anyway it took me a whole lot of research and recollecting, but I remembered I remembered as much detail as possible about this guy. Anyway I wrote down everything that I had typed up everything anyway typed up everything I have about so what I’ve remembered.Uh so yea, this guy was at Piedmont Virginia Community College, Mr. Shadow Resident mmm, I had taken his class in the spring semester 2001, we were reading a bunch of short stories and critiquing them. I was very misunderstood on how to critique them, and I had wrote off-tangent in my assignments and re-responses. The Mr. Resident kicked me out of his class only for a settlement to happen later where I met with him in his office to uh… complete the ass- to finish the assignments with a better understanding on… what the resource was… and it was strictly on the paperwork only. Nothing more than that happened. Anyways, so uh, I do remember one story that I- we had worked on in that class, Tuesday’s Child, which, that was a short story about a child who got to spend one day a week with their father.

Anyways, so I had to retake the course the following fall semester, but with a different professor, and I remember giving the giving Mr. Resident kind of a relation mental word association relation to Dr. Robotnik, cause his personality type reflect- was similar to that of him, and he kind of looked like him as well. Anyway he banned me from his class back on April 15th, 2001, and he did approach me a year later, I had recognized his face, and… it was still totally uncomfortable and bad blood between me and him, and he did say um, like,”‘is this still a game to you?” And I just looked away, I did not look at him at all… cause I felt intimidated and… all that. Anyway aside- Anyways so lets see aside from that… So I’ll tell y’all… tell y’all the short story about uh… what happen- what happened that day on April 15, 2001, I entered the classroom like any other day feeling neutral and well, then Mr. Resident tells me to leave the classroom, I was not welcome into his class. I picked up my bookbag and left. The door closed behind me and I was very upset and I did not know what to do with myself for the next hour or so, I went up the hallway to the part PVCC by the auditorium where they had all the long tables unfolded… and I cried and I cried and I cried my… arms folded, my head laying on the- on my arms, and just… [''Chris groans''] Anyway I eventually much later pulled out a piece of paper then I wrote what I did on there, I returned to the now empty classroom shortly after the class had finished, and I left the note with his name on it on the desk, and… I remember- and it took me a while to recall what I had written… but I think I did fairly well.

I have written something… something like…[''Chris takes a stern tone of voice''] “You made me cry. I will never forgive you.” [''He briefly pauses, for effect''] So… yeah this uh Mr. Resident upon all the retrospect I do owe you the apology, and I do humbly apologize for… having written that note to you and causing you to… fall mentally ill and go into… all that that you had gone through. But at least you ended up returning to PVCC later as far as your record could tell. Anyway so, there you go sir, that’s, there’s your apology. I hope that was satisfactory enough for you, I hope you have a good day and good rest of your life, and that uh, you’re never trolled by anyone, or doxxed. So, we’ll just leave it at that. Thank you everyone for not doxxing him… and have a good safe day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Dick Licker; that is I.]]|nextlink=[[One-Hundred!]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

With Apologies to Mister Resident

2018-04-16T21:18:21Z

Armed man: Added transcript

'''With Apologies to Mister Resident''' is a video apology made on the 16th of [[April 2018]]. In this video, Chris apologizes to a ween posing as a professor at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] he had supposedly drove insane. The ween in question made multiple videos confronting Chris the day prior, and eventually weaseled his way into getting a video/response from Chris.

It is worth noting that Mr. Resident made contact with Chris on the same date that marks Chris being banned from his class.
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = With Apologies to Mister Resident
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DpdMExo6ccE}}
| stardate = 16 [[April 2018]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}} {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{bubblegumnightmare|text}}
| previous = [[Dick Licker; that is I.]]
| next = [[One-Hundred!]]
}}
</center>

==Description==
This actually had happened.

==Transcript==
Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you from home live again once again and today I am here to… talk about this person who has come to my attention, this whatcha call “ween”. Um, I’m here to verify personally that there was actual history with this individual, this guy is re-... legitimate, not fake, I will refer to him by his online alias, but anyway it took me a whole lot of research and recollecting, but I remembered I remembered as much detail as possible about this guy. Anyway I wrote down everything that I had typed up everything anyway typed up everything I have about so what I’ve remembered.Uh so yea, this guy was at Piedmont Virginia Community College, Mr. Shadow Resident mmm, I had taken his class in the spring semester 2001, we were reading a bunch of short stories and critiquing them. I was very misunderstood on how to critique them, and I had wrote off-tangent in my assignments and re-responses. The Mr. Resident kicked me out of his class only for a settlement to happen later where I met with him in his office to uh… complete the ass- to finish the assignments with a better understanding on… what the resource was… and it was strictly on the paperwork only. Nothing more than that happened. Anyways, so uh, I do remember one story that I- we had worked on in that class, Tuesday’s Child, which, that was a short story about a child who got to spend one day a week with their father. Anyways, so I had to retake the course the following fall semester, but with a different professor, and I remember giving the giving Mr. Resident kind of a relation mental word association relation to Dr. Robotnik, cause his personality type reflect- was similar to that of him, and he kind of looked like him as well. Anyway he banned me from his class back on April 15th, 2001, and he did approach me a year later, I had recognized his face, and… it was still totally uncomfortable and bad blood between me and him, and he did say um, like,”‘is this still a game to you?” And I just looked away, I did not look at him at all… cause I felt intimidated and… all that. Anyway aside- Anyways so lets see aside from that… So I’ll tell y’all… tell y’all the short story about uh… what happen- what happened that day on April 15, 2001, I entered the classroom like any other day feeling neutral and well, then Mr. Resident tells me to leave the classroom, I was not welcome into his class. I picked up my bookbag and left. The door closed behind me and I was very upset and I did not know what to do with myself for the next hour or so, I went up the hallway to the part PVCC by the auditorium where they had all the long tables unfolded… and I cried and I cried and I cried my… arms folded, my head laying on the- on my arms, and just… [''Chris groans''] Anyway I eventually much later pulled out a piece of paper then I wrote what I did on there, I returned to the now empty classroom shortly after the class had finished, and I left the note with his name on it on the desk, and… I remember- and it took me a while to recall what I had written… but I think I did fairly well. I have written something… something like…[''Chris takes a stern tone of voice''] “You made me cry. I will never forgive you.” [''He briefly pauses, for effect''] So… yeah this uh Mr. Resident upon all the retrospect I do owe you the apology, and I do humbly apologize for… having written that note to you and causing you to… fall mentally ill and go into… all that that you had gone through. But at least you ended up returning to PVCC later as far as your record could tell. Anyway so, there you go sir, that’s, there’s your apology. I hope that was satisfactory enough for you, I hope you have a good day and good rest of your life, and that uh, you’re never trolled by anyone, or doxxed. So, we’ll just leave it at that. Thank you everyone for not doxxing him… and have a good safe day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Dick Licker; that is I.]]|nextlink=[[One-Hundred!]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

User:Armed man

2018-04-16T21:03:18Z

Armed man:

Hair

2018-04-14T18:42:15Z

Armed man: /* Hair loss */

[[File:Is chris's hair getting better.png|thumb|250px|Comparison of Chris's hair. Left: November 2015<ref>[[Thank You from Christine Chandler‎]]</ref> (age 33). Right: November 2016<ref>[[I Tweet AND Post Simultaneously]]</ref> (age 34).]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his [[Chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]].

==Condition==
[[File:ADlEp.jpg|Chris's hair in all its glory, pre-[[Tomgirl]].|thumb]]
Chris's hair has never looked good. For most of his adult life, [[Barb]] served as his barber. The result was a predictably amateurish, uneven cut which served as the perfect accompaniment to his [[clown shirt]] and social awkwardness. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, hasn't helped. His hair has entered something of a plateau, as even when he does take a shower, his hair's appearance virtually remains the same, as evidenced by his [[HairDifference|video demonstration]].

Nor has switching shampoos helped. In his early 20s, Chris used Selsun Blue for dandruff issues, then switched to Head & Shoulders. To assist with his Love Quest, he shifted to "[[AXE]] brand Freeze Anti-Dandruff Shampoo & Conditioner." When he became a tomgirl, he changed it again to Garnier Fructis shampoo and conditioner. He has also used Aussie Sprunch hairspray because "it keeps my hair poofy, and smells of candy." Nothing seems to have worked, as the photographic record clearly indicates. Firsthand observer [[Catherine]] thought it "looked like straw."

Chris, however, believes that his hair looks just fine, and has always been defensive about his hygienic habits. He also had no problem with his mother's styling. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his Ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his mom probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh...I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

===Tomgirl hair===
[[File:Cwc neptune.png|thumb|In 2016, Chris told [[Arthur Spatchcock]] that he thought his hair resembled [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Neptune]]'s. You be the judge.]]

For most of his life he kept it short and didn't alter it significantly, but shortly before the [[Tomgirl Saga]] began in 2011, Chris started growing his hair out, and after it began, he also started bleaching his hair. Chris's natural hair color is a chestnut brown, although [[Christian Weston Chandler#Early life|early photos]] from his childhood show that it was paler at one point. He seems to be dying his hair himself, based on the unprofessional results. The highly visible brown roots seen in pictures suggest that he did not enlist the aid of a professional stylist. Chris's hair is also evidently curly when it's long; he may have done it himself with a curling iron, but Chris is far too lax in his personal grooming for that type of styling regimen. An [[October 2012]] [[Facebook]] profile picture revealed that Chris had grown his hair to his shoulders, and for the next couple years it remained at approximately this length.

[[File:Chris Long Hair.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris with shoulder length hair.]]

Chris has become resolutely opposed to cutting his hair, seeing it as essential to his tomgirl/lesbian identity. In [[May 2011]], Barb forced Chris to let her cut his hair. This resulted in Chris calling Barb a bitch. He had to wear a wig for a while. He also saved a clump of hair clippings and wore it around his neck in hopes that it would grow back faster. <ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_26]]</ref>

{{quote| This was supposed to be the Year of Me; I was making Best Social Progress with the [[Wikipedia: Mary Tyler Moore|Mary Tyler Moore]] hairstyle, with Better Self-Confidence; Gone in a snip snip snip of my mother's claws. I also have retrieved the hair clippings shortly after the tragedy, gathered them in a clump, wrapped the clump in a plastic wrap, put it in a plush, satin-like baggie, attached a necklace to it, and [[Chris and religion|I am wearing my clippings as a Charm to prayfully promote quicker hair growth and recovery.]]|Chris, thinking that a 1970s woman's hairstyle helps you get [[China|friends]].}}

Chris sometimes likes to accentuate his hair with a headband, in order to cover up his bald spot. Even before becoming a tomgirl, he admired his girly [[anime wings]] to the point of incorporating them into his comic. At the pride festival and [[26 December 2014|GameStop attacks]] of 2014, he wore a pair of striking blue and pink [[My Little Pony]] tassels. Sometimes he wears ponytails.

[[File:OmegaconD.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in 2015, showing horrible [[tomgirl]] hair dye and receding hairline.]]
He dyed his hair blue in 2015, for his [[OmegaCon]] cosplay. Of course, he again failed to bleach the hair beforehand. The result is that his hair gradually turned to a sickly green color.

{{quote|But then also the way my hair turned out, after the semi-permanent hair color, kind of makes me look like Sailor Nep-- Neptune.|Chris<ref>[[Arthur Spatchcock]]</ref>}}

===Hair loss===
[[File:A little song and dance (720p 30fps H264-192kbit AAC).mp400001.png|thumb|Pictured in 2015: a prominent bald spot on the top of his head, typically concealed with a headband (which had slipped off in the still image).<ref>[[A little song and dance]]</ref>]]

Chris's encroaching baldness has done little for his already uncomely appearance. Since hitting his late 20s, his hairline has been receding very quickly. When confronted in the [[Mailbag]] ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris asserted that he was not going bald, and he was untroubled. "When it goes, and if I do go bald, I will deal with that when I cross that bridge", he declared.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event in 2010, a bald spot was seen starting to appear on the back of his head. By 2014, at 32, pictures showed that his hairline had receded dramatically in just a couple of years, and his hair was more poorly managed, looking even more thin, wispy and unkempt, if that's possible. While his hair is long, it has simply stopped growing on the front half of his scalp, creating an extremely bizarre effect. His attempts to brush a few locks forward do little to hide his constantly growing forehead. Catherine claimed in 2014 that it was "halfway" back on his scalp.

It should be noted that if one alters a photograph of Chris to remove his bastardized bangs, his hair looks almost exactly the same as it did before 2013 – slowly thinning and as greasy as ever.

[[File:CWC0916.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris, in 2016, continuing to bald.]]

2016 saw rapid acceleration of Chris's receding hairline. Cole Smithey seemed to begin shaving his head regularly around his early to mid-thirties so the timing seems about right for Chris's male pattern baldness to follow suite. Chris's ever poor hygiene and increasingly gross neglect of his remaining and now green mop-like locks certainly did not help. Chris's current hair is less that of a transitioning female, and more of a Doc Brown mixed with seaweed.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. Realistically, however, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well, and [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was bald too. Ominously, [[Chris and health|inactivity]], [[McDonald's|poor diet]], illness and stress are well-known to accelerate the balding process. In addition, there is a strong correlation between the man's age with the eventual extent of the baldness – the earlier it begins in life, the less hair will eventually remain, which does not bode well for Chris's tomgirl dreams.

In recent times, Chris has taken to wearing a cap over his head to cover his receding hairline, and possibly to mimic various anime characters and drawings he's seen of attractive women wearing hats. It really doesn't do his appearance much good.

==Body hair==
[[File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|thumb|Embarrassed Chris with hairy naked legs.]]
Chris has never found body hair attractive, on himself or anyone else. This is probably connected to [[Chris and gender|his hatred]] of [[JERKS|men]] and their bodies, and it began long before he became a tomgirl. In 2008, he confessed that "shorts are okay, but I don't like to show off my hairy legs." A strange [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card shows him dressed in the costume of a female character, but deeply embarrassed, in part because the dress exposes his legs, which he depicts as covered with hair. He also claimed that "facial hair, to most women, is a Turn Off," which is his [[autistic]] way of saying that he thinks beards are ugly. Consequently, early [[nudes]] of Chris showed that he shaved his torso and pubic region.
[[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris with visible stubble on his chest from shaving or waxing.]]

It is telling that part of his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|costume]] meant to throw off the trolls included a goatee. When he needed to reclaim his identity, he pointedly [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|shaved it off]] for the camera within two weeks.

After becoming a tomgirl, he put more effort into removing his body hair, at least initially. He told [[Jackie]]:
{{quote|I have been experimenting with body hair removal systems. I tried waxing; I had diffculty, only a little pain; I could use some help on getting the hang of it. Then I tried the "As Seen on TV" Smooth Away; it worked some, but not so much; got a rash on my leg from the effort. [[Chris and brand loyalty|I would not recommend the product.]] And lastly, which removed the latter, a hair remover shower cream Nair brand "Shower Power Max", to be specific). It worked great, but I either used a bit much or left some on longer; this was last night. I had worse pain on the rashed leg, and new rashy spots on the other, on the right side of my belly near the button, and on BOTH of my [[manboobs|nipples]]. The pain was excruciating; I was lucky to find comfort and fall asleep with a few [[dreams]]. The areas still hurt some, and I will heal, with sexier legs to look forward to. It's a blessing neither of my arms were pained from the experiment. The pain was equivilant to harsh sunburn. I would have been more comfortable with Waxing in comparison. On the classic 1-10 scale; waxing was a 2; the S.P.Max was an 8.5 (going on 9 with the extended searing pain). At least my arms, legs, torso and pubic are sin hair and real smoooth.|Chris to Jackie|}}

He also said he had given himself a "Brazillian." A Brazilian wax consists of the removal of all pubic hair, something Chris has clearly desired for a long time.

Despite Chris's efforts, photos throughout 2013, 2014 and 2015 consistently showed that, on his face at least, whatever depilatory measures he was taking were an utter failure, as his facial stubble - his "5:00," as he calls it, is always apparent. As with every aspect of his life, his laziness thwarts his dream of looking like [[Britney Spears]].

==Hair mail==
Chris told Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], that his mother had recently cut his hair and he had saved locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls could have them as a souvenir, he even went to the trouble of wrapping each individual lock in plastic along with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself. Chris's [[Trolls|faithful fangirls]] couldn't refuse the offer.

Due to the Mexican postal service, it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock - or perhaps it wasn't. Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of [http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode06/usc_sec_06_00001203----000-.html United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7)] did not cause any national or international incidents.

While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 were ever sent. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English on one side and in Chris's version of Spanish on the other. Each side had a [[Sonichu]] drawing, but the [[Spanish]] side had [[Chris and race|Sonichu in a sombrero]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery of hair==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."
Image:FutureCWC.jpg|What Chris would look like by now if he wasn't a [[tomgirl]].
File:Flirt1.jpeg|In 2014. With his makeup, [[Chris and fashion|second-hand stripy shirt]] and poorly managed hair, Chris ends up looking more like a [[Obesity|fat]] clown than a woman.
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|Pigtails
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[HairDifference]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Buy Right Now from eBay

2018-04-14T18:39:17Z

Armed man: /* Transcript */ Fixed several errors in the transcript.

'''Buy Right Now from eBay''' is a short video made on the 13th of [[April 2018]] where Chris begs his fans to buy his items on [[eBay]] (Note: saying please does not always work.)
{{Infobox/video
| name = Buy Right Now from eBay
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ztDxIGK6rW0}}
| stardate = 13 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}} {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| previous = [[I’m stressed, but I am working]]
| next =
}}
==Description==
Please, Help my mother and I Right Now by buying my things off of eBay.

https://t.co/YbbQTzYgKA

==Transcript==
Hello everybody, this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again. Please, please, please, buy the things I'm listing on eBay right now my mother and I really need the money... Please help us... immediately, thank you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I’m stressed, but I am working]]|nextlink=}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

CWC Update 1 July 2009

2018-04-12T14:08:22Z

Armed man:

"'''CWC Update 1 July 2009'''" (officially "'''CWC Update 07012009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] denies that he was responsible for the untimely death of [[CWCville]] Mayor [[Billy Mays]]. His alibi was that he was at his cousin Jonathan Carey's wedding. He explains that he was forced to say that Billy Mays was the mayor of CWCville because of [[BlueSpike]]. He also mentions that he's continuing his [[Love Quest]] and that he will finish the long-awaited Sonichu Comic.

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 1 July 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R0EFnKqReQQ}}
| stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]
| shirt = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[I'm Sorry, Dude]]
| next = [[For G4s Web Soup]]
}}
{{quote|"A heart attack was the likely cause of his death." I had nothin' to do with it.}}

=== Transcript ===

[''sigh''] [[Captain's Log]], Stardate: July 1st, 2009.

I, uh, am recording this video to, uh, relinquish the false...ly—the false, stupid rumors of me having an—anything to do... with, uh, the [[Chris and death|death]]—with the recent death of Billy Mays.

[''sighs''] It's... [''voice becomes unnaturally high-pitched'']—it's such a slanderous lie you go—itha—it's because somebody dies, you go blame it on the nearest per—you just go blame it on the nearest person.... It just ticks me off. [''makes some kind of weird noise and does something with his teeth'']

And, anyway, I was actually at my cousin's wedding—[[Minor Family Members#Jonathan Carey|Jonathan Carey]]—Jonathan Carey, in Red Oak, Virginia. You can look him up. ''I was there the weekend''. You can even talk to my Uncle Raymond, who lives nearby.

Alright. And, anyway, the cause of his deck, and I read this to you from a printout from his Wikipedia page (and I quote):

<blockquote>"On Jula—On June 29th after an initial autopsy on Mays' body, Doctor Vernard Adams [''pronounces it "Venard"''] the Hillsborough County, F...—Florduh bedical examiner stated that m—he suffered from ''hypertensive heart disease'' and that a ''heart attack'' was the likely cause of his ''death''."</blockquote>

I had nothin' to do with it. So ''quit'' the false rumors!

And, anyway, as for the past doc—the past statement that I did on a video—I did on the video upon the mayorship: he, Billy Mays, was never the mayor of [[CWCville]]. ''Never the mayor''. I was lying out my ass when I said that, because I was being blackmailed, durin' the [[Julie]] fiasco. ''Curse'' that li'l 13-year-old brat!

[''sighs''] Deep breaths.... Deep breaths....

So... there you go. That's it. ''That's it.'' Alright? And I am thinking more about the comics, I'm drawing more, so... leave me alone. Let me be. I'm trying to find myself—trying d' complete my life sass as well especially finding the woman to be my sweetheart.

Have a good day, peace.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]|nextlink=[[For G4s Web Soup]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-07-01]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-01]]

Chris and sexuality

2018-04-12T02:06:09Z

Armed man: /* Asexuality */

To this day, Chris's '''sexuality''' is very questionable. Before [[Bob]]'s death, Chris had an intense fear of "[[CWC-isms#S|falling off the straight path]]". He feared that by being in contact with gay people, he himself, would pick up the [[Sonichu 10|gay virus]], and his LoveQuest would take a complete 180. He currently identifies himself as a "lesbian transwoman" with a "[[CWC-isms#L|lesbian soul]]". Initially, this transformation was a result of him thinking this method will attract the most mates by being attractive not only to straight women but also to lesbians and bisexual women, failing to realize that gay people are a minority group and that straight women are usually not attracted to cross-dressing men. As the Tomgirl saga progressed, however, Chris got more and more flooded in his new sexual identity. Currently, Chris identifies as bisexual, now explicitly identifying himself as somewhat gay.

==Homosexuality==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
{{Main|Homos}}

As stated above, Chris used to have an irrational fear towards homosexual men, particularly out of fear that he would become a homo himself. This strange idea stems from his belief that all homosexual men wish to push their sexuality onto other people. As a result, even saying the word "homosexual" made him queasy. As an alternative, he referred to gay men as "homos", an already existing derogatory term for homosexuals. Chris's main justification for his hatred towards homos was that they supposedly go against God's Will, and even used Stewie Griffin's citation of Leviticus as evidence that homosexuality is a sin, despite it being an obvious joke that flew over his head, in which Stewie Griffin himself has shown homoerotic desires throughout [[Family Guy]], while citing why homosexuality is a sinful act.

== Transsexuality ==
{{main|Tomgirl}}

{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a tomgirl in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris want the operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community.

After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian; his/her transition story is a major part of the plot of [[Sonichu 11]]. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was also a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

In [[Sonichu 11]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan]] learns of his future self's identity and reflects on it, reasoning that he is not fond of partaking in "brutish things" following his meaningless destruction of the [[4-cent garbage]] building and subsequent murdering of several inhabitants, his battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in which he permanently paralyzes her with lighting-based weaponry, and his then-retconned execution of the [[Asperpedia Four]]. Chris then magically starts transforming into a voluptuous woman, a sequence inspired by artist Miss Mako and her collection of genderbending videos. To him, transitioning is a technique that simply requires an epiphany and [[Anchuent Prophecy|anchuent]] powers to immediately turn into a full-fledged woman.

On 6 December 2017, Chris confirmed in a Facebook post that Rosechu was in fact, male at birth, but had her genitals changed during a sex change operation before the events of [[Sonichu 8]]. He suggested that this backstory would be explored in the [[Sonichu 15]] retelling of her and Sonichu's origins. However, he was extremely uncomfortable with this announcement, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|deeply in denial]] of the "revelation", which he[[Chris and reality|seems to believe]] came directly from the fictional character herself. In reality, the idea to make Rosechu trans probably originates with the [[Idea Guy]] and its status as ''Sonichu'' canon is likely provisional.

==Bisexuality==

{{Incomplete}}

{{quote|We all should always have an open heart for bisexuals.|Chris showing appreciation for bisexuals in a [[March 2017]] [[Facebook]] post}}

Up until [[2014]], Chris' hasn't been too open on his views on bisexuality. Beforehand, he has hinted traces of tolerance towards Bisexuality, though. In [[Mailbag 33]], Chris has hinted that his views on bisexuals were almost no different from his views on homosexuals. When asked about bisexuality, along with other sexualities, Chris simply replies that while [[CWCville#Government and politics|people of all sexualities deserve to be treated equal]], only marriage between man and woman are allowed, implying that Chris may have been somewhat accepting of bisexuals due to one side of them being attracted to the opposite sex.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mailbag_33</ref>

According to the answers he submitted on a list of OkCupid questions in mid-2014, he would consider dating a bisexual. <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/List_of_OkCupid_Answers</ref> On the same list of questions, there is a question which asks "If you were going to have a daughter, which sexual orientation would you hope she would have?" and gives the choices "Straight", "Lesbian", "Bisexual", and "It wouldn't matter to me" as possible answers. Chris chose "It wouldn't matter to me" as his answer, hinting once again that besides being tolerant towards Straights and Lesbians, he seemed to show some amount of tolerance towards Bisexuals too. Although, seeing how he hasn't fully accepted male homosexuals until late 2014, this could be because the question was asking specifically about [[Crystal|his daughter]], which means that either way, she's straight or lesbian, a win-win situation.

Some people tend to confuse bisexuality with pansexuality, the attraction towards all sorts of people regardless of their sex, [[Chris and gender|gender identity]], or sexuality. Chris appears to be one of these people. On August 2014, Chris announced that his character, [[Christine Rosechu]], is bisexual.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2014_Facebook_Posts</ref> He has later claimed that as a bisexual, Chris is attracted to just about everyone.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Christine_Rosechu</ref>

On 10 April, 2018, Chris himself had came out as bisexual, stating "I realized with my sweethearts that I am a Bisexual". It is as of now unknown what exactly he meant by this, but it would seem to imply that Chris has found a male sweetheart.

==Asexuality==

Some autistic people simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hug machine|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart. Upon first meeting Katherine in person, Chris admitted that he wanted to spend the entire day with her, such as go bra shopping, then have her spend the night at his house and then he would get breakfast for her in the morning. With Jess, he talked about how they were to meet in person, and then the next day go to the MLP movie screening (implying she would spend the night). He also has a habit of staring at women's chest.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and missed her point completely).<ref name=jackie emails 2>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

Further, an asexual does not necessarily look for sex in a relationship. Most asexuals seek romantic partners or just prefer platonic friendships. Chris however, seems to develop sexual feelings for every girl he meets and appears to believe it is required (not to mention during the [[Chop_Chop_Master_Onion%27s_Rap_Showdown| Adam Saga]] he mentioned wanting to bring Megan to Washington to "change her mind" on sex after she had told him she was asexual (whether she is or said it to get him off her back is not known) [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|and make her the mother of]] [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|Crystal]]. Altogether, it's unlikely that Chris is asexual.

In the original Sonichu 10, Chris listed asexuals as "those who needed to be cured" by drinking the contaminated "straight water". It has been said he feels asexuals are "missing out". As his views have allegedly changed on other sexualities (i.e. gay men and bisexuals), whether or not his views on asexuals have changed remains a mystery.

==See Also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Heather Iglesias]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Rainbow]]
*[[SLGBTQ]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and sexuality

2018-04-11T23:52:53Z

Armed man: /* Bisexuality */

To this day, Chris's '''sexuality''' is very questionable. Before [[Bob]]'s death, Chris had an intense fear of "[[CWC-isms#S|falling off the straight path]]". He feared that by being in contact with gay people, he himself, would pick up the [[Sonichu 10|gay virus]], and his LoveQuest would take a complete 180. He currently identifies himself as a "lesbian transwoman" with a "[[CWC-isms#L|lesbian soul]]". Initially, this transformation was a result of him thinking this method will attract the most mates by being attractive not only to straight women but also to lesbians and bisexual women, failing to realize that gay people are a minority group and that straight women are usually not attracted to cross-dressing men. As the Tomgirl saga progressed, however, Chris got more and more flooded in his new sexual identity. Currently, Chris identifies as bisexual, now explicitly identifying himself as somewhat gay.

==Homosexuality==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
{{Main|Homos}}

As stated above, Chris used to have an irrational fear towards homosexual men, particularly out of fear that he would become a homo himself. This strange idea stems from his belief that all homosexual men wish to push their sexuality onto other people. As a result, even saying the word "homosexual" made him queasy. As an alternative, he referred to gay men as "homos", an already existing derogatory term for homosexuals. Chris's main justification for his hatred towards homos was that they supposedly go against God's Will, and even used Stewie Griffin's citation of Leviticus as evidence that homosexuality is a sin, despite it being an obvious joke that flew over his head, in which Stewie Griffin himself has shown homoerotic desires throughout [[Family Guy]], while citing why homosexuality is a sinful act.

== Transsexuality ==
{{main|Tomgirl}}

{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a tomgirl in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris want the operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community.

After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian; his/her transition story is a major part of the plot of [[Sonichu 11]]. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was also a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

In [[Sonichu 11]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan]] learns of his future self's identity and reflects on it, reasoning that he is not fond of partaking in "brutish things" following his meaningless destruction of the [[4-cent garbage]] building and subsequent murdering of several inhabitants, his battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in which he permanently paralyzes her with lighting-based weaponry, and his then-retconned execution of the [[Asperpedia Four]]. Chris then magically starts transforming into a voluptuous woman, a sequence inspired by artist Miss Mako and her collection of genderbending videos. To him, transitioning is a technique that simply requires an epiphany and [[Anchuent Prophecy|anchuent]] powers to immediately turn into a full-fledged woman.

On 6 December 2017, Chris confirmed in a Facebook post that Rosechu was in fact, male at birth, but had her genitals changed during a sex change operation before the events of [[Sonichu 8]]. He suggested that this backstory would be explored in the [[Sonichu 15]] retelling of her and Sonichu's origins. However, he was extremely uncomfortable with this announcement, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|deeply in denial]] of the "revelation", which he[[Chris and reality|seems to believe]] came directly from the fictional character herself. In reality, the idea to make Rosechu trans probably originates with the [[Idea Guy]] and its status as ''Sonichu'' canon is likely provisional.

==Bisexuality==

{{Incomplete}}

{{quote|We all should always have an open heart for bisexuals.|Chris showing appreciation for bisexuals in a [[March 2017]] [[Facebook]] post}}

Up until [[2014]], Chris' hasn't been too open on his views on bisexuality. Beforehand, he has hinted traces of tolerance towards Bisexuality, though. In [[Mailbag 33]], Chris has hinted that his views on bisexuals were almost no different from his views on homosexuals. When asked about bisexuality, along with other sexualities, Chris simply replies that while [[CWCville#Government and politics|people of all sexualities deserve to be treated equal]], only marriage between man and woman are allowed, implying that Chris may have been somewhat accepting of bisexuals due to one side of them being attracted to the opposite sex.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mailbag_33</ref>

According to the answers he submitted on a list of OkCupid questions in mid-2014, he would consider dating a bisexual. <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/List_of_OkCupid_Answers</ref> On the same list of questions, there is a question which asks "If you were going to have a daughter, which sexual orientation would you hope she would have?" and gives the choices "Straight", "Lesbian", "Bisexual", and "It wouldn't matter to me" as possible answers. Chris chose "It wouldn't matter to me" as his answer, hinting once again that besides being tolerant towards Straights and Lesbians, he seemed to show some amount of tolerance towards Bisexuals too. Although, seeing how he hasn't fully accepted male homosexuals until late 2014, this could be because the question was asking specifically about [[Crystal|his daughter]], which means that either way, she's straight or lesbian, a win-win situation.

Some people tend to confuse bisexuality with pansexuality, the attraction towards all sorts of people regardless of their sex, [[Chris and gender|gender identity]], or sexuality. Chris appears to be one of these people. On August 2014, Chris announced that his character, [[Christine Rosechu]], is bisexual.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2014_Facebook_Posts</ref> He has later claimed that as a bisexual, Chris is attracted to just about everyone.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Christine_Rosechu</ref>

On 10 April, 2018, Chris himself had came out as bisexual, stating "I realized with my sweethearts that I am a Bisexual". It is as of now unknown what exactly he meant by this, but it would seem to imply that Chris has found a male sweetheart.

==Asexuality==

Some autistic people simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hug machine|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and missed her point completely).<ref name=jackie emails 2>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

Further, an asexual does not necessarily look for sex in a relationship. Most asexuals seek romantic partners or just prefer platonic friendships. Chris however, seems to develop sexual feelings for every girl he meets and appears to believe it is required (not to mention during the [[Chop_Chop_Master_Onion%27s_Rap_Showdown| Adam Saga]] he mentioned wanting to bring Megan to Washington to "change her mind" on sex after she had told him she was asexual (whether she is or said it to get him off her back is not known) [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|and make her the mother of]] [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|Crystal]]. Altogether, it's unlikely that Chris is asexual.

==See Also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Heather Iglesias]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Rainbow]]
*[[SLGBTQ]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and sexuality

2018-04-11T23:48:36Z

Armed man: /* Asexuality */ minor grammar fixes

To this day, Chris's '''sexuality''' is very questionable. Before [[Bob]]'s death, Chris had an intense fear of "[[CWC-isms#S|falling off the straight path]]". He feared that by being in contact with gay people, he himself, would pick up the [[Sonichu 10|gay virus]], and his LoveQuest would take a complete 180. He currently identifies himself as a "lesbian transwoman" with a "[[CWC-isms#L|lesbian soul]]". Initially, this transformation was a result of him thinking this method will attract the most mates by being attractive not only to straight women but also to lesbians and bisexual women, failing to realize that gay people are a minority group and that straight women are usually not attracted to cross-dressing men. As the Tomgirl saga progressed, however, Chris got more and more flooded in his new sexual identity. Currently, Chris identifies as bisexual, now explicitly identifying himself as somewhat gay.

==Homosexuality==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
{{Main|Homos}}

As stated above, Chris used to have an irrational fear towards homosexual men, particularly out of fear that he would become a homo himself. This strange idea stems from his belief that all homosexual men wish to push their sexuality onto other people. As a result, even saying the word "homosexual" made him queasy. As an alternative, he referred to gay men as "homos", an already existing derogatory term for homosexuals. Chris's main justification for his hatred towards homos was that they supposedly go against God's Will, and even used Stewie Griffin's citation of Leviticus as evidence that homosexuality is a sin, despite it being an obvious joke that flew over his head, in which Stewie Griffin himself has shown homoerotic desires throughout [[Family Guy]], while citing why homosexuality is a sinful act.

== Transsexuality ==
{{main|Tomgirl}}

{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a tomgirl in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris want the operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community.

After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian; his/her transition story is a major part of the plot of [[Sonichu 11]]. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was also a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

In [[Sonichu 11]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan]] learns of his future self's identity and reflects on it, reasoning that he is not fond of partaking in "brutish things" following his meaningless destruction of the [[4-cent garbage]] building and subsequent murdering of several inhabitants, his battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in which he permanently paralyzes her with lighting-based weaponry, and his then-retconned execution of the [[Asperpedia Four]]. Chris then magically starts transforming into a voluptuous woman, a sequence inspired by artist Miss Mako and her collection of genderbending videos. To him, transitioning is a technique that simply requires an epiphany and [[Anchuent Prophecy|anchuent]] powers to immediately turn into a full-fledged woman.

On 6 December 2017, Chris confirmed in a Facebook post that Rosechu was in fact, male at birth, but had her genitals changed during a sex change operation before the events of [[Sonichu 8]]. He suggested that this backstory would be explored in the [[Sonichu 15]] retelling of her and Sonichu's origins. However, he was extremely uncomfortable with this announcement, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|deeply in denial]] of the "revelation", which he[[Chris and reality|seems to believe]] came directly from the fictional character herself. In reality, the idea to make Rosechu trans probably originates with the [[Idea Guy]] and its status as ''Sonichu'' canon is likely provisional.

==Bisexuality==

{{Incomplete}}

{{quote|We all should always have an open heart for bisexuals.|Chris showing appreciation for bisexuals in a [[March 2017]] [[Facebook]] post}}

Up until [[2014]], Chris' hasn't been too open on his views on bisexuality. Beforehand, he has hinted traces of tolerance towards Bisexuality, though. In [[Mailbag 33]], Chris has hinted that his views on bisexuals were almost no different from his views on homosexuals. When asked about bisexuality, along with other sexualities, Chris simply replies that while [[CWCville#Government and politics|people of all sexualities deserve to be treated equal]], only marriage between man and woman are allowed, implying that Chris may have been somewhat accepting of bisexuals due to one side of them being attracted to the opposite sex.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mailbag_33</ref>

According to the answers he submitted on a list of OkCupid questions in mid-2014, he would consider dating a bisexual. <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/List_of_OkCupid_Answers</ref> On the same list of questions, there is a question which asks "If you were going to have a daughter, which sexual orientation would you hope she would have?" and gives the choices "Straight", "Lesbian", "Bisexual", and "It wouldn't matter to me" as possible answers. Chris chose "It wouldn't matter to me" as his answer, hinting once again that besides being tolerant towards Straights and Lesbians, he seemed to show some amount of tolerance towards Bisexuals too. Although, seeing how he hasn't fully accepted male homosexuals until late 2014, this could be because the question was asking specifically about [[Crystal|his daughter]], which means that either way, she's straight or lesbian, a win-win situation.

Some people tend to confuse bisexuality with pansexuality, the attraction towards all sorts of people regardless of their sex, [[Chris and gender|gender identity]], or sexuality. Chris appears to be one of these people. On August 2014, Chris announced that his character, [[Christine Rosechu]], is bisexual.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2014_Facebook_Posts</ref> He has later claimed that as a bisexual, Chris is attracted to just about everyone.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Christine_Rosechu</ref>

On 10 April, 2018, Chris himself had came out as bisexual.

==Asexuality==

Some autistic people simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hug machine|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and missed her point completely).<ref name=jackie emails 2>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

Further, an asexual does not necessarily look for sex in a relationship. Most asexuals seek romantic partners or just prefer platonic friendships. Chris however, seems to develop sexual feelings for every girl he meets and appears to believe it is required (not to mention during the [[Chop_Chop_Master_Onion%27s_Rap_Showdown| Adam Saga]] he mentioned wanting to bring Megan to Washington to "change her mind" on sex after she had told him she was asexual (whether she is or said it to get him off her back is not known) [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|and make her the mother of]] [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|Crystal]]. Altogether, it's unlikely that Chris is asexual.

==See Also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Heather Iglesias]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Rainbow]]
*[[SLGBTQ]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please

2018-04-11T23:38:14Z

Armed man: /* Discription */ fixed spelling error

'''Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.''' is a video made on the 9th of [[April 2018]] where Chris aims his camera phone to [[Barb]] and gets her to announce more of [[Cole Smithey|Cole's]] comics and the [[Wii Remote of Fail]] are for sale on [[eBay]]. This is 5th video where Barb starred in a begging video.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4g2EmxanKyk}}
| stardate = 9 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}} {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| previous = [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne|Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne]]
| next = [[I’m stressed, but I am working]]
}}
==Description==
https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mp...

https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mp...

==Transcript==
[''Barb stares blankly the camera while sad music plays''] Please buy our comic books, we need the money for our mortgage, we appreciate your help. Thank you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne|Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne]]|nextlink=[[I’m stressed, but I am working]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please

2018-04-11T23:37:18Z

Armed man: Removed request for transcript

'''Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.''' is a video made on the 9th of [[April 2018]] where Chris aims his camera phone to [[Barb]] and gets her to announce more of [[Cole Smithey|Cole's]] comics and the [[Wii Remote of Fail]] are for sale on [[eBay]]. This is 5th video where Barb starred in a begging video.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4g2EmxanKyk}}
| stardate = 9 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}} {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| previous = [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne|Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne]]
| next = [[I’m stressed, but I am working]]
}}
==Discription==
https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mp...

https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mp...
==Transcript==
[''Barb stares blankly the camera while sad music plays''] Please buy our comic books, we need the money for our mortgage, we appreciate your help. Thank you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne|Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne]]|nextlink=[[I’m stressed, but I am working]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

I’m stressed, but I am working

2018-04-11T17:32:46Z

Armed man: Removed request for transcript

'''I’m stressed, but I am working''' was uploaded on 11 April 2018, following a post about the matter on Patreon (at that point, he had gone for 74 days without updating the comic). It includes a quote referencing [[Seinfeld]] for [[Random Access Humor|no reason]]. He also begs for sales money on [[eBay]] in the description.

==Patreon posting==
{{quotebox|Apologies for delayed content updates

But, essentially, I am really having to catch up with current events and going-ons in Cwcville, and I am sorting a whole ton of details out there personally. I Really should have Never ever taken that hiatus from 2011 to 2017. Please, bear with me; I am ending up making pages for Later Books to catch up with current events, but I Shall be returning to [[Sonichu 12-9|book 12-9]] as soon as I can. It has been stressful on me there. Thank you all for your patience.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I’m stressed, but I am working
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bIUn7bqSGZQ}}
| stardate = 11 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}} {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| previous = [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please]]
| next =
}}

==Description==
Also, Please Buy Cole’s Comic Books and things off of my eBay. We REALLY NEED the money here, please. Thank you.

==Transcript==
Hey everybody, Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again! In response to the post I just… made on my patreon to give y’all a little bit of an update… just… it’s definitely true, I have been catching up on a whole bunch of CWCville events, but anyway, to pretty much summarize it up definitely in a bit of a quote [''Chris closes his eyes, scrunching up his face''] pretty much how I’m feeling everything… [''Breaths in and proceeds to scream into the camera''] ALRIGHT. ALRIGHT. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. I HEAR YOU. I'M COMING DOWN. THESE PRETZELS. ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY.
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please]]|nextlink=}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

I’m stressed, but I am working

2018-04-11T17:30:32Z

Armed man: /* Video */

{{transcript}}

'''I’m stressed, but I am working''' was uploaded on 11 April 2018, following a post about the matter on Patreon (at that point, he had gone for 74 days without updating the comic). It includes a quote referencing [[Seinfeld]] for [[Random Access Humor|no reason]]. He also begs for sales money on [[eBay]] in the description.

==Patreon posting==
{{quotebox|Apologies for delayed content updates

But, essentially, I am really having to catch up with current events and going-ons in Cwcville, and I am sorting a whole ton of details out there personally. I Really should have Never ever taken that hiatus from 2011 to 2017. Please, bear with me; I am ending up making pages for Later Books to catch up with current events, but I Shall be returning to [[Sonichu 12-9|book 12-9]] as soon as I can. It has been stressful on me there. Thank you all for your patience.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I’m stressed, but I am working
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bIUn7bqSGZQ}}
| stardate = 11 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}} {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| previous = [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please]]
| next =
}}

==Description==
Also, Please Buy Cole’s Comic Books and things off of my eBay. We REALLY NEED the money here, please. Thank you.

==Transcript==
Hey everybody, Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again! In response to the post I just… made on my patreon to give y’all a little bit of an update… just… it’s definitely true, I have been catching up on a whole bunch of CWCville events, but anyway, to pretty much summarize it up definitely in a bit of a quote [''Chris closes his eyes, scrunching up his face''] pretty much how I’m feeling everything… [''Breaths in and proceeds to scream into the camera''] ALRIGHT. ALRIGHT. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. I HEAR YOU. I'M COMING DOWN. THESE PRETZELS. ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY.
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please]]|nextlink=}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

I’m stressed, but I am working

2018-04-11T17:29:56Z

Armed man: /* Transcript */

{{transcript}}

'''I’m stressed, but I am working''' was uploaded on 11 April 2018, following a post about the matter on Patreon (at that point, he had gone for 74 days without updating the comic). It includes a quote referencing [[Seinfeld]] for [[Random Access Humor|no reason]]. He also begs for sales money on [[eBay]] in the description.

==Patreon posting==
{{quotebox|Apologies for delayed content updates

But, essentially, I am really having to catch up with current events and going-ons in Cwcville, and I am sorting a whole ton of details out there personally. I Really should have Never ever taken that hiatus from 2011 to 2017. Please, bear with me; I am ending up making pages for Later Books to catch up with current events, but I Shall be returning to [[Sonichu 12-9|book 12-9]] as soon as I can. It has been stressful on me there. Thank you all for your patience.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I’m stressed, but I am working
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bIUn7bqSGZQ}}
| stardate = 11 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}} {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| previous = [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please]]
| next =
}}

==Description==
Also, Please Buy Cole’s Comic Books and things off of my eBay. We REALLY NEED the money here, please. Thank you.

==Transcript==
Hey everybody, Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again! In response to the post I just… made on my patreon to give y’all a little bit of an update… just… it’s definitely true, I have been catching up on a whole bunch of CWCville events, but anyway, to pretty much summarize it up definitely in a bit of a quote [''Chris closes his eyes, scrunching up his face''] pretty much how I’m feeling everything… [''Breaths in and proceeds to scream into the camera''] ALRIGHT. ALRIGHT. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. I HEAR YOU. I'M COMING DOWN. THESE PRETZELS. ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY.
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please]]|nextlink=}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki

2018-04-11T02:18:32Z

Armed man: /* When it comes to spelling, be an American */

[[File:Chrisshotweb.jpg|right|200px]]

So you want to edit the wiki on the [[Internet]]'s [[White knights|most beloved]] (and [[A-Logging|most hated]]) [[autistic]] manchild? Before you start, you should know this isn't your average crappy [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article that you're getting yourself into. Here's a CWC (pronounced: 'quick') guide to the CWCki:

==When it comes to dates, be a European==
This: dd Month Year

Example: today is {{CURRENTDAY}} {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}.

Not this: Month dd, year

Example: today is {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTDAY}}, {{CURRENTYEAR}}.

Likewise, avoid numerical dating ('''{{CURRENTMONTH}}/{{CURRENTDAY}}/{{CURRENTYEAR}}''' or '''{{CURRENTDAY}}/{{CURRENTMONTH}}/{{CURRENTYEAR}}''') because that confuses the hell out of people depending if you're a European or American.

While Americanized spellings are the standard, it's still a good idea to use European dating to avoid confusion.

Furthermore, it's easier to link to.

For instance, if you went with European dating, to link to a month, all it would be is:

'''<nowiki>dd [[Month Year]]</nowiki>'''

whereas an American dating would be:

'''<nowiki> Month dd [[Month Year|Year]]</nowiki>'''

==When it comes to spelling, be an American==
Chris is American, and so are the majority of trolls. As a result, Americanized English is the standard for the CWCki. So no unnecessary vowels (unnecessary "U"s, "O"s, etc.), it's a "truck" and not a "lorry," it's an "elevator" and not a "lift," you get the idea.

However, on a similar note, please be considerate of our European brethren. Some Europeans are not totally familiar with American TV shows, food chains, and other stuff Chris frequently references, so it is helpful to add a mild explanatory note for these (such as comparing Chris's beloved [[Golden Corral]] to Red Hot World Buffet & Bar). For instance, if a game title has a different title in Europe, by all means mention this (such as how ''[[Animal Crossing]]: City Folk'' was known as ''Animal Crossing: Let's Go to the City'' in Europe).

==The possessive form of Chris is "Chris's"==
Your [[English]] teacher was wrong. When it comes to proper nouns, you are supposed to append apostrophes even if the name ends in "s" (the exception is formal archaic names like [[GodJesus]], but then it'd be "the parables of Jesus").

Page 1 of Strunk & White's ''[[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]]'' states this, and this is the standard [http://www.economist.com/research/styleGuide/index.cfm?page=841359 The Economist] uses. People who argue otherwise are [[slow-in-the-minds]].

==Sign your comments==
If you're making a comment on the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]] or on a talk page, '''please sign your comments'''. It's four tildes in a row (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>), and can be automatically added by pressing the signature button (the ninth button shown whenever one edits a page). That way, we know who said what and don't have to go through the talk page history in order to find the original date and time of the post.

==Stay nameless==
'''DON'T ADD YOURSELF.'''

The general guideline for trolls having their own articles are trolls who have interacted directly with Chris and have been referred to by Chris in some explicit way (such as [[Clyde Cash]]).

There are a few exceptions but for the most part, unless we've heard of you via Chris, you don't warrant your own article. Besides, no one probably gives a shit about your [[Ween|shitty troll persona]] or your shitty attempts at [[prank call]]ing his house.

You are however free to do with your User Page on CWCki as you wish, within reason. (For example, don't add a zillion pics not related to Chris to it, or use it as a dumping ground for your [[Mass debating|YouPorn]] history.)

==A note on notability==
Related to namefaggotry is notability.

While not as strict as [[Wikipedia:Notability in Wikipedia|Wikipedia]], CWCki still maintains a guideline of notability: '''If Chris has responded to someone or something, it warrants a mention on CWCki.'''

In other words, a random guy who makes a video response to Chris doesn't warrant their own article. Otherwise, we'd have a wiki full of guys in their basements trying to be funny by bringing up Chris and his [[recycling]].

To clarify, by the first part, someone or something that has caused a response from Chris warrants mention on CWCki. For instance, [[Evan]] warrants his own article because of the infamous [[masturbating and squirtin']] e-mail as well as [[Simonla Rosechu]]. [[Clyde Cash]] warrants his own article as Chris has made several videos threatening Clyde's life.

The major exception to this rule is any mainstream media references to Chris. No, not some random blogger or some guy on YouTube or Facebook, but actual TV, radio stations, or high-profile blogs (ex. Fark, The Atlantic, etc.). These references should be incorporated into the [[Chris in the media]] article, or the Chris-related media they cite.

And of course, anything Chris does or says is notable and deserves mention on the CWCki. This does not mean everything Chris mentions gets an article--it should just be mentioned ''somewhere,'' preferably in existing articles. There are of course exceptions that are dealt with on a case by case basis.

==Brevity is wit==
Don't ramble on unnecessarily. '''Learn to edit yourself'''. Read what you've written. Is everything in it entirely necessary? Can it be reworded to better effect? Think about what you yourself might read. Would you really be interested in reading a 10,000-page treatise on the psychology of Chris's [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|bowel movements]]? If not, then why should anybody else? And if so, then what the hell is wrong with you?

This especially goes for summaries. Remember what they are--''summaries''. They shouldn't be longer than the transcription/article being commented upon. Keep psychological mumbo-jumbo to a minimum, or preferably, to yourself.

===Suppress your own urges===
This goes for people who have [[religious]] or [[political]] views, different [[sex]]ual fetishes, and/or are fans of [[anime]], [[Television|TV shows]], [[video games]], and/or [[comics]]. Chris might own your video game or watch your anime or mention something about which you hold a very strong opinion. He may even mention it quite frequently. This doesn't mean it warrants a CWCki page, and it certainly doesn't mean that you need to reference it every third article or write about how Chris's understanding or interpretation of Contemporary Post-Trotskyist Feminine Theory is incorrect.

==Double check==
Before adding an article, check to see if it hasn't been added already. CWCki is not [[Chris and Wikipedia|Wikipedia]] or [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], so everything might not be redirected. You may have to search a bit but it helps if you look for articles before duplicating them. Same applies to images.

If you think a redirect would be appropriate for a particular search phrase, go ahead and add it: search the term you want to redirect, click on the red link between "Create the page "[insert title here]" on this wiki!", type in <nowiki># REDIRECT [[target page]]</nowiki>, and hit "save". The page will redirect with the same information; you will have to click "Save" again and perform a CAPTCHA mini-game in order to it to fully appear. Yes, it's ''beyond'' annoying, but it helps ward off spambots. Keep in mind that the phrase should be a fairly generic and common term, and relevant to the particular target.

==Privacy==
Information wants to be free, blah blah blah. While CWCki is very unabashedly uncensored (albeit far less than ED, mind you), it's wise to wait before posting things. Although Chris is very dense when it comes to denying the truth even when clearly presented to him, some trolls are sensitive about leaked info and wish that their "covers" not be "blown" so be considerate. Information about anyone Chris mentioned (be it a random [[Manajerk]] or a [[Jerkop]]) should be kept private too sometimes. Otherwise, we'd have [[weens]] e-mailing them "JUUUULLLAAYYY!!!!!" or other unfunny bullshit.

==IF YOU WANT TO HELP OUT ==
Some people come here straight from reading the Encyclopedia Dramatica article on Chris and decide they want their hand in editing. Unfortunately, the ED article on Chris-chan is frequently out of date, or it misses out on very recent developments.

If you're going to be editing CWCki, have a gander at Chris's [[Facebook]] pages or [[Kiwi Farms]], or hang out in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]]. They're hot sources of all the goings on with Chris, and they keep up to date with all the most recent happenings. Just don't be a fag or else you'll be banned.

Likewise, spend some time reading, watching and listening to everything Chris-related, including the chat logs, sex audio, all of his videos, [[Mumble]] chats, etc. Yes, it requires an unhealthy amount of time, and having a strong stomach to some of Chris's more grosser aspects, but you'll get deeper into the rabbit hole and want to see how far it goes. These things are generally not on the ED page and you'll miss out on a lot of details on Chris (for instance, [[Reginald Chandler]] or how Chris drinks his own [[semen]].) But if you want to take an easier shortcut, perhaps begin with sachumo's [[documentary]] about Chris, which does a generally good job at summarizing most of Chris's life (although it misses more recent information due to being released in [[February 2015]]).

==Dive right in==
Even though you should lurk moar, don't be afraid to edit the CWCki. ''Anyone'' can and should edit the CWCki. You do not need to "prove yourself" to get a CWCki account and you will not be banned if you make an honest mistake.

If you're posting complaints about the CWCki on PVCC, [[cwc]] or Kiwi, you're doing it wrong. If you see something wrong with the CWCki, feel free to make your opinion heard or take matters into your own hands. After all, if you want something done right, do it yourself.

==Get involved==
CWCki is (mostly) democratic. While not perfectly democratic as say, Wikipedia, users do have influence in policy. While editing articles or contributing to the CWCki in other ways should be #1, it's also good to get involved in the workings of the CWCki. Be sure to regularly check the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]], especially the [[CWCki:Policy|Policy]] and [[CWCki:News]] pages.

Being involved in the CWCki inner workings means that you get a say in how the CWCki is run and provide valuable feedback to the CWCki staff to better improve the CWCki user experience. So please, get involved, it's '''your''' CWCki.

==Try to aim for NPOV==
No, this does not mean you cannot say anything bad about Chris. Aim for ''criticism'', not outright bashing of Chris. Likewise, when dealing with other trolling sites, users, etc., try to present them in neutral terms.

So go ahead, criticize Chris, but don't try too hard. If Chris lies, it's fine to say he's a liar. But by implying that by lying he's "scum of the Earth," "a worthless piece of shit," etc. then you're [[A-Logging|just trying really too hard]].

[[CWCki:NOTED|We're not Encyclopedia Dramatica]], we're here to document Chris and mocking is mostly indirect.

===Don't be an A-Log===
A-Logs feel that Chris is a despicable human being with no redeeming qualities and want to inflict harm upon him. Chris doesn't inspire greatness, but he's not the spawn of Satan who's worse than Hitler. Don't be an A-Log, and don't purposely try to find things wrong with Chris.

==Updating [[Template:Da update|Da update]]==
[[Da update]] is perhaps what most people come to CWCki for, to see what is new with Chris. But what constitutes an update?

Chris releasing a new video? Hell yeah!

Leaked stuff with Chris in it? Definitely.

Something you heard off some guy in IRC? ...no, not really.

Something you heard off of ED? ''Fuck'' no.

In order for something to be considered update worthy, '''it has to be a publicly available media involving Chris.''' While there are many reliable sources who can provide information on Chris, it still does not hold up to encyclopedic standards, which CWCki strives to adhere to. While it is okay to incorporate such information into articles ''as'' alleged information, it is not an update to say that Chris has ''allegedly'' done something.

==Cite only publicly available media==
On a similar note, '''only publicly available forms of media are acceptable forms of citable material on CWCki.''' This means that PVCC posts, private audio files, etc. are not acceptable to cite in articles, even if the authenticity is without question.

The goal of this is to promote transparency and to allow the trolling community at large to easily verify if the citation is true or not.

==Resize your images==
Please try and resize your images so they're under 150 kb before you upload them. Seriously, it only takes, like, a minute in MS Paint to resize them. If you're not sure how, here's a [[Help:Resizing images|handy guide]] on how to resize images. Failing that, we have [[User:Fuckingstupid|resident]] [[User:Whoreos n' Milf|experts]] to answer any further questions, or to help you with resizing things.

If it's a huge animated GIF, then it better actually be amusing, or else it will be taken down and no one will cry rivers asking for it back.

==DO IT, BRO/ What goes on CWCki should stay on CWCki==
If you see something wrong or a mistake on CWCki, '''fix it.''' Don't start a thread on Kiwi Farms about how you saw something wrong on the CWCki and say how you can't believe it's wrong. Fix it. Don't complain about a video link being dead, find a working link and add it to the article. If you're not sure how to fix it, then make a comment in the article's talk page addressing your concern about the article and add templates. Likewise, don't make a thread about how you'd like to see CWCki address a topic. Make that article. If it sucks, it'll get deleted. If not, others will have a chance to build it up. If you dislike the quality of the CWCki, don't bitch about it on the Kiwi Farms, get involved and edit articles to make them higher quality.

Likewise, discussions pertaining CWCki should be on CWCki. If you have a beef with someone, don't bitch about them on the forums. Keep it on CWCki and things can be resolved. Likewise, if you want to collaborate with others to work on an article, you're more than welcome to go to other forums to do this but by all means mention this on the CWCki itself.

==Learn how to pipe==
Read [[Help:A Guide to Piping|this]] as a guide to linking to other articles on the site.

==Conclusion==
Follow these simple rules, and you'll become a regular CWCki wikifag in no time! So welcome to the CWCki, your one stop for everything Chris.

==See also==
*[[CWCki:CWCki is|What CWCki is and is not]]

[[Category:CWCki policy]]

April 2018

2018-04-10T15:16:00Z

Armed man:

{{ongoing}}

'''April''' is the fourth month of [[2018]].

==Highlights==
*5 April - [[More of Cole’s Things for Sale|Chris lists more of Cole's belongings for sale]]. One of the items listed is the first issue of Marvel Comics Super Special, which featured Kiss. He also lists Cole's old homework and childhood awards.
*6 April - Chris [[April 2018 social media posts|posts a drawing in support of flat-chested women]]. He also [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|begs for sales]] of Cole's stuff.
*7 April - For the first time since 2015, Chris' Facebook goes private. It is unknown whether he did this himself or if it was done by the admins.
*9 April - Chris' Facebook account goes public again. He also uploads another [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please ‎|begging video featuring Barb]].
*10 April - Chris posts a listing on eBay for his lesbian pride flag, stating that he has realized his bisexuality and needs a new flag to match.
{{timeline}}

April 2018

2018-04-10T15:15:48Z

Armed man: /* Highlights */

{{ongoing}}

'''April''' is the fourth month of [[2018]].

==Highlights==
*5 April - [[More of Cole’s Things for Sale|Chris lists more of Cole's belongings for sale]]. One of the items listed is the first issue of Marvel Comics Super Special, which featured Kiss. He also lists Cole's old homework and childhood awards.
*6 April - Chris [[April 2018 social media posts|posts a drawing in support of flat-chested women]]. He also [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|begs for sales]] of Cole's stuff.
*7 April - For the first time since 2015, Chris' Facebook goes private. It is unknown whether he did this himself or if it was done by the admins.
*9 April - Chris' Facebook account goes public again. He also uploads another [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please ‎|begging video featuring Barb]].
*9 April - Chris posts a listing on eBay for his lesbian pride flag, stating that he has realized his bisexuality and needs a new flag to match.
{{timeline}}

Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please

2018-04-10T15:09:16Z

Armed man:

{{transcript}}
'''Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.''' is a video made on the 9th of [[April 2018]] where Chris aims his camera phone to [[Barb]] and gets her to announce more of [[Cole Smithey|Cole's]] comics and the [[Wii Remote of Fail]] are for sale on [[eBay]]. This is 5th video where Barb starred in a begging video.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4g2EmxanKyk}}
| stardate = 9 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Business|text}} {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| previous = [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne|Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne]]
| next =
}}
==Discription==
https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mp...

https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mp...
==Transcript==
[''Barb stares blankly the camera while sad music plays''] Please buy our comic books, we need the money for our mortgage, we appreciate your help. Thank you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne|Buy Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne]]|nextlink=}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

User:Armed man

2016-07-29T01:18:03Z

Armed man: Created page with "{{transcriber}}"

Talk:Live Game Stream - Uncharted

2016-07-29T01:17:25Z

Armed man: Created page with "Transcription needed"

Transcription needed

Live Game Stream - Uncharted

2016-07-29T01:16:39Z

Armed man:

'''Live Game Stream - Uncharted''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 23 May 2016. Chris plays through a game of ''Uncharted'' with his [[waifu]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Game Stream - Uncharted
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvV9L9h2_gk}}
| stardate =23 [[May 2016]]
| subject = {{Video games}} Video games
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Blue and white striped dress
| previous = [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.]]
| next = [[UNCHARTED_-_There,_I_made_it_out_alive...]]
}}

== Description ==
{{Quotebox|Watch me play some Uncharted with Naru for a while, as I make a few random commentaries as I play. <nowiki>**</nowiki>Donations are NOW being accepted through my channel here. Click the "SUPPORT" Button to offer a direct donation today. Thank You. :)}}

==Transcript==
{{Transcription}}
--Miss Naru. Bring along your, uh, snuggle-buddy, yurse--your [[waifu]], bodypillow, whatchacallit. And enjoy along as we play for... a while, continuing on from where I left off near the fortress. [''hugs Naru''] Mmm. She's irresistible.
So yeah, we're essentially at the point where I've already...opened all of the uh, trekked across all of the walls there, I... got the micro-gun. I know there's enemies on the other end of that--other side of that door. Low on ammo, I figured maybe they'd come to me. [[Jason_Kendrick_Howell_message|And I'd beat the hell out of them.]] I got healed. Somebody else is shooting. Alright, where are you? Oh... you're up there somewhere. [''[[sigh]]''] Hurry up and heal so I can go shoot that guy. Now I gotcha. Oh boy. This is gonna be a...yep, there's the noise. Wait for it...got 'im. 189 headshots. [''[[sigh]]''] Uh...let's just say when they hear the gunshots, they don't know where it's coming from. Yeah. Oh, shoot. It's alright. Ah, fortunate that we have a
unlimited life policy in these modern games. Bang. I wish the games had the motion control, it typically allows for more accurate aiming. I mean, [[Wikipedia:DualShock#DualShock_3|DualShock 3]], anyone, with the motion control? Great to heal... Alright. Definitely another time to wait. Restock. [Now here I see that?] ugly. Gotcha. [''[[sigh]]''] And the ammo.
Yeah still working on my trophy with the shotgun. Reload. [“sigh”] Well, this be the reason why players guides were invented. Meanwhile… Kablam! I hope this,uh-audio works out better this time, I’m using a headset microphone. Come out here and say that ugly. Right. Switching back. Yes, I could be coming out, but then again I might not be. And you’re over there! Gotcha, ugly! Hmm… wait for it… Hmm… was that all of them? Apparently not. Alright where are you ugly? You’re out there somewhere
. [“gets blown up by a grenade”] Ooh. That stings. [“howls from some canine beast”].
Oh, gotcha now! Better heal first. [“dies”]. Oh, shi-oot. Oh well. I guess I will try again. And keep trying until I get to the next bleeding checkpoint! [“hugs Naru”]… [“sniff”] [“hums”] Come on…
That’s what you think!… [“Rambles about dual shock 4 for a bit”]] Like you’ll pay for all the wounds on my back!… Alright, guess that guy’s dead… no i’m not shooting up there… come on out ugly…

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Live Game Stream - Uncharted

2016-07-29T01:16:07Z

Armed man: /* Transcript */

'''Live Game Stream - Uncharted''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 23 May 2016. Chris plays through a game of ''Uncharted'' with his [[waifu]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Game Stream - Uncharted
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvV9L9h2_gk}}
| stardate =23 [[May 2016]]
| subject = {{Video games}} Video games
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Blue and white striped dress
| previous = [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.]]
| next = [[UNCHARTED_-_There,_I_made_it_out_alive...]]
}}

== Description ==
{{Quotebox|Watch me play some Uncharted with Naru for a while, as I make a few random commentaries as I play. <nowiki>**</nowiki>Donations are NOW being accepted through my channel here. Click the "SUPPORT" Button to offer a direct donation today. Thank You. :)}}

==Transcript==
{{Transcription}}
--Miss Naru. Bring along your, uh, snuggle-buddy, yurse--your [[waifu]], bodypillow, whatchacallit. And enjoy along as we play for... a while, continuing on from where I left off near the fortress. [''hugs Naru''] Mmm. She's irresistible.
So yeah, we're essentially at the point where I've already...opened all of the uh, trekked across all of the walls there, I... got the micro-gun. I know there's enemies on the other end of that--other side of that door. Low on ammo, I figured maybe they'd come to me. [[Jason_Kendrick_Howell_message|And I'd beat the hell out of them.]] I got healed. Somebody else is shooting. Alright, where are you? Oh... you're up there somewhere. [''[[sigh]]''] Hurry up and heal so I can go shoot that guy. Now I gotcha. Oh boy. This is gonna be a...yep, there's the noise. Wait for it...got 'im. 189 headshots. [''[[sigh]]''] Uh...let's just say when they hear the gunshots, they don't know where it's coming from. Yeah. Oh, shoot. It's alright. Ah, fortunate that we have a
unlimited life policy in these modern games. Bang. I wish the games had the motion control, it typically allows for more accurate aiming. I mean, [[Wikipedia:DualShock#DualShock_3|DualShock 3]], anyone, with the motion control? Great to heal... Alright. Definitely another time to wait. Restock. [Now here I see that?] ugly. Gotcha. [''[[sigh]]''] And the ammo.

Yeah still working on my trophy with the shotgun. Reload. [“sigh”] Well, this be the reason why players guides were invented. Meanwhile… Kablam! I hope this,uh-audio works out better this time, I’m using a headset microphone. Come out here and say that ugly. Right. Switching back. Yes, I could be coming out, but then again I might not be. And you’re over there! Gotcha, ugly! Hmm… wait for it… Hmm… was that all of them? Apparently not. Alright where are you ugly? You’re out there somewhere
. [“gets blown up by a grenade”] Ooh. That stings. [“howls from some canine beast”].
Oh, gotcha now! Better heal first. [“dies”]. Oh, shi-oot. Oh well. I guess I will try again. And keep trying until I get to the next bleeding checkpoint! [“hugs Naru”]… [“sniff”] [“hums”] Come on…
That’s what you think!… [“Rambles about dual shock 4 for a bit”]] Like you’ll pay for all the wounds on my back!… Alright, guess that guy’s dead… no i’m not shooting up there… come on out ugly…

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Live Game Stream - Uncharted

2016-07-29T01:14:59Z

Armed man: /* Transcript */

'''Live Game Stream - Uncharted''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 23 May 2016. Chris plays through a game of ''Uncharted'' with his [[waifu]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Game Stream - Uncharted
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvV9L9h2_gk}}
| stardate =23 [[May 2016]]
| subject = {{Video games}} Video games
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Blue and white striped dress
| previous = [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.]]
| next = [[UNCHARTED_-_There,_I_made_it_out_alive...]]
}}

== Description ==
{{Quotebox|Watch me play some Uncharted with Naru for a while, as I make a few random commentaries as I play. <nowiki>**</nowiki>Donations are NOW being accepted through my channel here. Click the "SUPPORT" Button to offer a direct donation today. Thank You. :)}}

==Transcript==
{{Transcription}}
--Miss Naru. Bring along your, uh, snuggle-buddy, yurse--your [[waifu]], bodypillow, whatchacallit. And enjoy along as we play for... a while, continuing on from where I left off near the fortress. [''hugs Naru''] Mmm. She's irresistible.

So yeah, we're essentially at the point where I've already...opened all of the uh, trekked across all of the walls there, I... got the micro-gun. I know there's enemies on the other end of that--other side of that door. Low on ammo, I figured maybe they'd come to me. [[Jason_Kendrick_Howell_message|And I'd beat the hell out of them.]] I got healed. Somebody else is shooting. Alright, where are you? Oh... you're up there somewhere. [''[[sigh]]''] Hurry up and heal so I can go shoot that guy. Now I gotcha. Oh boy. This is gonna be a...yep, there's the noise. Wait for it...got 'im. 189 headshots. [''[[sigh]]''] Uh...let's just say when they hear the gunshots, they don't know where it's coming from. Yeah. Oh, shoot. It's alright. Ah, fortunate that we have a
unlimited life policy in these modern games. Bang. I wish the games had the motion control, it typically allows for more accurate aiming. I mean, [[Wikipedia:DualShock#DualShock_3|DualShock 3]], anyone, with the motion control? Great to heal... Alright. Definitely another time to wait. Restock. [Now here I see that?] ugly. Gotcha. [''[[sigh]]''] And the ammo.
Yeah still working on my trophy with the shotgun. Reload. [“sigh”] Well, this be the reason why players guides were invented. Meanwhile… Kablam! I hope this,uh-audio works out better this time, I’m using a headset microphone. Come out here and say that ugly. Right. Switching back. Yes, I could be coming out, but then again I might not be. And you’re over there! Gotcha, ugly! Hmm… wait for it… Hmm… was that all of them? Apparently not. Alright where are you ugly? You’re out there somewhere
. [“gets blown up by a grenade”] Ooh. That stings. [“howls from some canine beast”].
Oh, gotcha now! Better heal first. [“dies”]. Oh, shi-oot. Oh well. I guess I will try again. And keep trying until I get to the next bleeding checkpoint! [“hugs Naru”]… [“sniff”] [“hums”] Come on…
That’s what you think!… [“Rambles about dual shock 4 for a bit”]] Like you’ll pay for all the wounds on my back!… Alright, guess that guy’s dead… no i’m not shooting up there… come on out ugly…

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Live Game Stream - Uncharted

2016-07-29T01:13:42Z

Armed man: /* Transcript */

'''Live Game Stream - Uncharted''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 23 May 2016. Chris plays through a game of ''Uncharted'' with his [[waifu]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Game Stream - Uncharted
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvV9L9h2_gk}}
| stardate =23 [[May 2016]]
| subject = {{Video games}} Video games
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Blue and white striped dress
| previous = [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.]]
| next = [[UNCHARTED_-_There,_I_made_it_out_alive...]]
}}

== Description ==
{{Quotebox|Watch me play some Uncharted with Naru for a while, as I make a few random commentaries as I play. <nowiki>**</nowiki>Donations are NOW being accepted through my channel here. Click the "SUPPORT" Button to offer a direct donation today. Thank You. :)}}

==Transcript==
{{Transcription}}
--Miss Naru. Bring along your, uh, snuggle-buddy, yurse--your [[waifu]], bodypillow, whatchacallit. And enjoy along as we play for... a while, continuing on from where I left off near the fortress. [''hugs Naru''] Mmm. She's irresistible.

So yeah, we're essentially at the point where I've already...opened all of the uh, trekked across all of the walls there, I... got the micro-gun. I know there's enemies on the other end of that--other side of that door. Low on ammo, I figured maybe they'd come to me. [[Jason_Kendrick_Howell_message|And I'd beat the hell out of them.]] I got healed. Somebody else is shooting. Alright, where are you? Oh... you're up there somewhere. [''[[sigh]]''] Hurry up and heal so I can go shoot that guy. Now I gotcha. Oh boy. This is gonna be a...yep, there's the noise. Wait for it...got 'im. 189 headshots. [''[[sigh]]''] Uh...let's just say when they hear the gunshots, they don't know where it's coming from. Yeah. Oh, shoot. It's alright. Ah, fortunate that we have a
unlimited life policy in these modern games. Bang. I wish the games had the motion control, it typically allows for more accurate aiming. I mean, [[Wikipedia:DualShock#DualShock_3|DualShock 3]], anyone, with the motion control? Great to heal... Alright. Definitely another time to wait. Restock. [Now here I see that?] ugly. Gotcha. [''[[sigh]]''] And the ammo.
Yeah still working on my trophy with the shotgun. Reload. [“sigh”] Well, this be the reason why players guides were invented. Meanwhile… Kablam! I hope this,uh-audio works out better this time, I’m using a headset microphone. Come out here and say that ugly. Right. Switching back. Yes, I could be coming out, but then again I might not be. And you’re over there! Gotcha, ugly! Hmm… wait for it… Hmm… was that all of them? Apparently not. Alright where are you ugly? You’re out there somewhere
. [“gets blown up by a grenade”] Ooh. That stings. [“howls from some canine beast”].
Oh, gotcha now! Better heal first. [“dies”]. Oh, shi-oot. Oh well. I guess I will try again. And keep trying until I get to the next bleeding checkpoint! [“hugs Naru”]… [“sniff”] [“hums”] Come on…
That’s what you think!… [“Rambles about dual shock 4 for a bit”]] Like you’ll pay for all the wounds on my back!… Alright, guess that guy’s dead… no i’m not shooting up there… come on out ugly…

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWC Responds to a bully named Johan

2016-07-28T16:15:00Z

Armed man: /* Transcript */

'''CWC Responds to a bully named Johan''' is a [[Youtube]] video Chris uploaded on the 28th of May 2016. In it, Chris explains how he has been bullied by a troll named [[Johan]] after getting a [[Tomgirl|lesbian]] couple to accept fathering his baby, only for them to back out due to Johan pointing out Chris is [[Autism|autistic]] and in turn, Chris sensibly insinuating Johan has AIDS due to his supposed past as a gay pornographic actor. Chris shows this through his [[lego]] mini-figures while squeezed under a child's school desk, acting out the ordeal in unintelligible ramblings. However, his rambling just sounds like [[Patti|dogs]] grunting because he chose to play a loud dub-step track over his speech, resulting in him being barely audible.
Chris seems to be acting the way he did before the [[Liquid]] saga, claiming he is being bullied by doing impersonations of his foes and recounting any times trolls have made him do embarrassing stuff, even naming [[Megan|Megan Shroeder]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Responds to a bully named Johan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|JCUm1UfumJY}}
| stardate =28 [[May 2016]]
| subject =
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = Green top and blue skirt
| previous = [[UNCHARTED - There, I made it out alive...]]
| next = [[CWC vs Johan vote link]]
}}

== Description ==

{{Quotebox|SHAREfactory™
https://store.playstation.com/#!/en-u...
}}

==Transcript==
[''Chris stares blankly at the desk while fidgeting''] Hello ladies and gentlemen on the [[Internet]] and my [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[fanbase]], this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from the room once again, and I'm about to tell ya a story that is direct and true... 'bout what happened recently. And it'll be demonstrated through... [[Lego|the minifigures]].

So, that's to tell you the truth. So, my associate has introduced me to a [[Homos|lesbian]] couple who's looking to have their own little daughters... their little daughters, mkay? And they... [''unintelligible''] was delighted to be made to be designated as a parent. But unfortunately throughout the few weeks, the initial few weeks there were mis-communications and we ca- an- and it was kinda spotty catchin' up with one another and one of them wanted to be artificially but the other one wanted natural. But, tonight, uh, earlier tonight, they mutually settled on both being natural, so we were plannin' on settin' up... because, uh, earlier in that day, was there- I think mighta [''unintelligible''] second candidate though, so that left me feeling sad. But he didn't show up, and they liked the video that I sent them demonstrating my sexual prowess. I [''unintelligible''] quite... the acrobat.

But she- that made me feel delighted.

So yeah, we were on the online chatroom, we were settin' up. We were talkin' about our meetin', and then comes along, dur- bit- dur- new guy(?). He were be- were quite intrusive... it was very rude.

[''Chris sounds like a dog having a stroke'']

Yeah I'm Christine Chandler... charmed I'm sure... charmed.

[''More dog grunts''] yer tha big gu- yer da big guy, er da tryna ee [''gorilla noises''] it sallts blah blah blah blah blah blah bla bla bluh [''grunts'']

Yeah an I can tell from my way aside from... the obvious that what he's said among which, yeah... you're a bad guy, you bullied me.

Anyway so anyway we were... so he was attacking me and trying to prove himself mighty and courageous like [[Wikipedia:Ratchet & Clank|Captain Copernicus Quark]] or somebody dumb like that. huurhrh herr lookat me I'm superior [''Grunting becomes high pitched and cutesy, Johan figure simulates humping''] woop woop woop woop woop woop!

Aaanyway it was just a whole bunch like that but, they were gettin' tired of it and I was gettin tired a hearin' abou- hearin' it. and then he realized, oh wait, you're... da Christian Chandler?

The original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, that's me.

Er, well I got dirt on you *a bunch of stuttering* you haven't leaned about this bad thing ya did.

Oh, what? (''pauses to pose minifig'') you mean [[Cakefarts|that time I sat bare-ass on a cake]]?... sat bare ass on a cake? What do ya think about that?

err? That threw me off I was not expecting that [''masculine mumbling'']

Oh, and how about the time I... took pieces of my- pieces of my [[medallion]] and [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoved up my behind]]. I am human enough to admit and take the blame for the mistakes I made.

''(Filthy male impersonation)''

and he was bringing up the image, the picture... of the n- notorious [[Megan|M.E.G.]] and me where I do the thumbs up there... and I was like oh yeah that vi- that vintage old thing. Vintage, so old. I've drawn more since then. And my e- other exes, I mentioned two of them by name. And he was like:

What? ''(inane sounds)''

And on just a note, we are talking gibberish with this guy 'cause we don't remember exactly everything that was said... but anyway, aside from that to try to prove himself to be the... more better male he attacked me verbally, with an onslaughts of insults and whatnot, like fireballs. And I defended my- and... I held my ground. *pauses to fiddle with his fucking toys* I hold my ground, I, took two(?) attacks. *pew pew* one attack at a time. *pew pew* I defended myself with the shield. *pew pew pew... pew... pew pew* And not stooping down to his level how he was phrasing his attacks... I offered my own, style and elegant... repertoire of, offence. *pew pew pew* Hit him a bit hard too. Agai- some of them did not hit as hard. What? not every attack is perfect. so, anyway then he was like

Well then I issue a challenge... you say yo- you say, from your video, you're like an acrobat, but I can do so much better sexually so, we each upload a video... And the person- and, the person that gets more votes from the community on the internet wins

And I was like, what? you're not gonna let the girl- you're not gonna... let our ladyfriends have the say in the matter

Yeah, well, you know what? ''[complete vocal diarrhea]''

[[sigh]] nd a- anyway in the meanwhile they were tired of listening to all this and I was tired of listening to all this

''*sounds of what we can only assume is Chris's inner monologue*''

''(coughs and clears his throat)'' So anyway, point is, uhmm *sigh* even though this challenge seemed quite pointless and unnecessary and time consuming I... teh... I, well let's do it, I accept your challenge.

Finally, I'm gonna upload my video and I'm gonna ''[something]'' you. ''[language of a subhuman male]''

And fortunately I had already do- uh- made a video for la- for the lesbian couple, which pr- which demonstrated quite well my, acrobatic, sexual prowess, thats goes yet to be unappreciated especially since I was self-taught.... but anyway then so... tokamai(?), so anyway, so we all left the chatroom and, yadda yadda yadda. I talked to my associate and a little birdie told em, a little birdie came in and, told me about [''unintelligible''] dark past about Mr. Johan. That's his name, Johanson, but as like to call 'em Johan. Hey everybody! look. it's Johan from the Smurfs. Hey! where's Peewee Johan? Go ahead and make all the Smurf jokes you want! He laid so many s- he said he was a Smurftastic lay, or, satisfy Thirty Women! He laid so many Smurfs, I wonder how many of them little smurfs he laid actually like this guy... and now everybody else! along with me or in your own words! make up your own Smurftastic jokes about Johan! Even the more obvious one that ya'll be making up in a moment when I tell you when ya hear that this little birdie told me *cheep cheep cheep* little birdie tell me the dirt! okay, Here's the dirt.

This guy, was, an ex, GAY PORNSTAR! Yep! laid with another male ''[blubbery sex noises]''

And, guess what? ''[confused ogre noise]'' aaanother big thing that's gonna take this g- is gonna take this... big- is gonna take this guy down a notch, guess what? he got FIRED from one of his... things. he got fired from one of his movies and you know why he got fired? Why? He failed the STD test!... and apparently n order to be fired from any porn act that STD had to be something lethal.

Possibly lethal as say something like AAAAIIIIDDDSSS!?!

And yet, among the discussion that was talked about earlier... he said that he had no STDs, but the way he acted and behaved and all that... apparently he told fifey lies! filthy lies! he lied!

So, with that, we'll leave it at that. Everybody in the audience, yes, high functioning autistic. But you know what? Even a normal person, normal father, normal mother, whichever, can give birth to an autisti- an autistic child. And it's just about as much risk as me because I'm high functioning autistic, high functioning. so therefore, hi- there's a higher- probability of a child being normal, so there.

So if your votes on... rather or not who has the better sexual style and activity, ability. Johan, by the way, did you do one of my- PEEWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... heh, [unintelligible] anyway, this guy, or, me! And they have praised me as acrobatic! Truthfully so, thank you very much it was the ho- it made my night. Hear that. There will be a voting page coming up soon! And my video on this channel and his video on his channel. There will be links in the voting page.

So, that'll pretty much do it for now. Details coming soon. Thank you. Goodnight. ''[cartoon noises]''

==See Also==
*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]