CWCki - User contributions [en]

Sonichu 0 HD

2018-06-06T03:43:05Z

Ash link:

{{Unfinished}}

{{quote| Well, that's pretty much what I expected. It's not traced, so I guess ''that's'' something.|''Rosechu's Story'' creator Trickie, upon discovering that Chris ripped off her comic.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sonichu-15-page-1-dates.37088/page-4#post-2826274</ref>}}

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #15
| cover = Sonichu 15 cover.jpg
| coverdate = 16 [[October 2017]]
| finishedcomic = ''In Progress''
| pagecount = 2 (incomplete so far)
| episodes = 1 (incomplete so far)
| previous = [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]]
| next = [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]]
}}

'''''Sonichu'' #15''' was announced by Chris on 17 October 2017, directly after he completed [[Sonichu 12]]. It is a "Retelling of the Classic First Three Episodes, BUT with More Details; More Commentary and Dialogue from Sonichu and Rosechu.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Patreon_posts#Sonichu_.2315_Cover.21</ref>"

The cover is an alternate version of the infamous "Zap to the extreme!" cover on [[Sonichu 0]], with a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] Chris directing Sonichu, who responds, "Yes, I will!! Thank you, mother!!!". Chris believes that his art has improved in the 13-year span between the two books.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_tweets#Sonichu_0_and_15_cover_comparison</ref>

[[File:CWC's Sonichu 15 vs Trickie's Rosechu's Story fancomic.png|150px|thumb|left|Comparing art between Sonichu 15 and fancomic ''Rosechu's Story''.]]
[[File:CWC's Sonichu 15 vs Trickie's Rosechu's Story fancomic 2.png|150px|thumb|left||An entire page is taken from ''Rosechu's Story'', down to the dialogue.]]

The number fifteen comic shamefully [[Things Chris has ripped off|steals scenes, dialogue and elements]] from a notable fancomic titled ''[http://rosechustory.tumblr.com/ Rosechu's Story]''. Chris had previously read this comic prior, and even commented about it on [[Tumblr]]. In lifting elements from the story, doing so, Chris also made an alteration, and decided to depicting the Raichu in his version of the story with a blunt tail as opposed to pointed. (in the ''Pokémon'' games, this marks a Raichu as female), yet ''Rosechu's Story'' has a plot point about [[Rosechu]] having been born as a male. This is obviously Chris attempting to put his foot down on the much debated and ridiculed topic of Rosechu's birth gender.<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts#Is Rosechu a transwoman?]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==Comic pages==

<center>{{collapsible
|Comic pages
|<gallery perrow="3">
File:SchuComic15Page1 draft.png
File:SchuComic15Page9 draft.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Template:Da update

2015-02-24T13:46:03Z

Ash link:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 24 [[February 2015|February]] - Chris turns 33. [[Christian Love Day (video)|Happy Christian Love Day!]]
* 5 Feburary - Chris' hearing happened without him macing anyone, next court date is [[April 2015|April 2nd]], 2015.
* 1 Feburary - Chris reveals that he was commissioned to do the album artwork for [http://www.leclipsenue.com/ an obscure noise group]'s most recent release.
* 30 [[January 2015|January]] - It's revealed that Chris had started glitterbombing [[Sega]] through the mail.
* 25 January: Chris begins begging his white knights to purchase him the [[Lego]] "Grand Emporium" set, which is a [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|shopping mall]].
* 24 January: Chris uploads a poorly-done GIF of the picture.
* 23 January: Chris posts his latest masterpiece on [[Facebook]], "[[Stress|My Mind is a Blank]]".

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

April 2015

2015-02-06T15:18:37Z

Ash link: Removing ongoing

'''April''' is the fourth month of '''[[2015]]'''. This month holds his court date for the incident at [[26 December 2014|Gamestop on December 26th, 2014]].

==Events of April 2015==
* 2 April - Chris' court case.

{{Timeline}}

April 2015

2015-02-06T15:18:07Z

Ash link: Created page with "{{Ongoing}} '''April''' is the fourth month of '''2015'''. This month holds his court date for the incident at Gamestop on December 26th, 2014. ==Eve..."

{{Ongoing}}
'''April''' is the fourth month of '''[[2015]]'''. This month holds his court date for the incident at [[26 December 2014|Gamestop on December 26th, 2014]].

==Events of April 2015==
* 2 April - Chris' court case.

{{Timeline}}

Template:Da update

2015-02-06T15:14:07Z

Ash link:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 6 [[February 2015|February]] - Chris' hearing happened without him macing anyone, next court date is [[April 2015|April 2nd]], 2015.
* 1 Feburary - Chris reveals that he was commissioned to do the album artwork for [http://www.leclipsenue.com/ an obscure noise group]'s most recent release.
* 30 [[January 2015|January]] - It's revealed that Chris had started glitterbombing [[Sega]] through the mail.
* 25 January: Chris begins begging his white knights to purchase him the [[Lego]] "Grand Emporium" set, which is a [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|shopping mall]].
* 24 January: Chris uploads a poorly-done GIF of the picture.
* 23 January: Chris posts his latest masterpiece on [[Facebook]], "[[Stress|My Mind is a Blank]]".
* 21 January: A newer [[voicemail greeting]] is leaked onto [[YouTube]].

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

February 2015

2015-02-06T15:11:20Z

Ash link: I dont know how to wiki?

{{Ongoing}}
'''February''' is the second month of '''[[2015]]'''. This month has begun with Chris revealing his (really bad) artwork for an obscure power-noise group's most recent release, followed by a widely-publicized (on the [[CWCki Forums]], nonetheless) [[documentary]] about him seeing release on [[YouTube]], and Chris updating his [[eBay]] for the first time in forever.

On the 5th, [[Chris]] stood trial again for the events of [[26 December 2014]]. It would be continued to the 2nd of April. Notably, from eyewitness accounts given, Chris came in his [[Tomgirl]] attire, eliciting a response from his public defender.

==Events of February 2015==
* 1 February - Chris reveals that he was commissioned to do the album artwork for the newest release from noise music group [http://www.leclipsenue.com/ L'Eclipse Nue], ''Negative''. In typical Chris fashion, he couldn't help but [[Chris and his Ego|scrawl his huge signature across the piece]].
* 2 February - The fan-made [[documentary]] ''Christian Weston Chandler'' is released by sachumo. Also, Chris makes a triumphant return to [[eBay]].
* 5 February - Chris's court date following the ''[[GameStop]]'' incident takes place. The case would be continued to April 2nd, 2015<ref>{{Cite web|title=User Account of Hearing|url=https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-16#post-527528|accessdate=6 Feburary 2015}}</ref>.
* 14 February - [[Valentines Day Hymn|Valentine's Day]].
* 24 February - Chris will [[Chris's birthday|turn 33]].

{{Timeline}}

February 2015

2015-02-06T15:11:02Z

Ash link: I dont know how to wiki.

{{Ongoing}}
'''February''' is the second month of '''[[2015]]'''. This month has begun with Chris revealing his (really bad) artwork for an obscure power-noise group's most recent release, followed by a widely-publicized (on the [[CWCki Forums]], nonetheless) [[documentary]] about him seeing release on [[YouTube]], and Chris updating his [[eBay]] for the first time in forever.

On the 5th, [[Chris]] stood trial again for the events of [[26 December 2014]]. It would be continued to the 2nd of April. Notably, from eyewitness accounts given, Chris came in his [[Tomgirl]] attire, eliciting a response from his public defender.

==Events of February 2015==
* 1 February - Chris reveals that he was commissioned to do the album artwork for the newest release from noise music group [http://www.leclipsenue.com/ L'Eclipse Nue], ''Negative''. In typical Chris fashion, he couldn't help but [[Chris and his Ego|scrawl his huge signature across the piece]].
* 2 February - The fan-made [[documentary]] ''Christian Weston Chandler'' is released by sachumo. Also, Chris makes a triumphant return to [[eBay]].
* 5 February - Chris's court date following the ''[[GameStop]]'' incident takes place. The case would be continued to April 2nd, 2015{{Cite web|title=User Account of Hearing|url=https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-16#post-527528|accessdate=6 Feburary 2015}}.
* 14 February - [[Valentines Day Hymn|Valentine's Day]].
* 24 February - Chris will [[Chris's birthday|turn 33]].

{{Timeline}}

February 2015

2015-02-06T15:10:38Z

Ash link:

Medallions

2012-12-26T03:39:23Z

Ash link:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth</ref>}}
[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|His license to kill; Oh yes he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them '''"medals"'''.<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|"CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!"]]</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref>

The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint.]]

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[File:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|thumb|An art project that may have provided inspiration.]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The medallions==
===Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but Chris himself has confirmed that he indeed inserted the shreds of the medallion into his ass and later on expelled them into the toilet.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of now the medallion remains hung on his wall, as seen in a [[Re-Calling Ahuvia|video]].

CWC enthusiasts can look forward to Chris voluntarily surrendering the medallion to thieves and/or willingly shoving it up his rectum in the near future.
 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]]. (Seriously, watch the video; it's an example of [[tard rage]] at its finest).

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|thumb|left|Baka Dana Watashi!]]
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|thumb|Back of the medallion.]]Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal is still hanging on his wall to this day, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris doesn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about.

Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].
{{clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed Medallions===
*Sonichu v.2

===Medallions Still in Chris's Possession===
*Sonichu v.3
*Asperchu

==Gone forever?==
[[File:133696094632.jpg|thumb|Last appearance, 11 [[November 2010]].]]
[[File:Chris Lego.jpg|thumb|YOUR MEDAL IS MADE OUT OF '''PAPER'''!]]

Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. He also wore the [[Sonichu]] medallion in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). However, the medallion has not been seen since Chris started wearing his "Tomgirl" attire (failing to appear in either the original [[Tomgirl Pictures]] or the [[Calling Out]] videos), suggesting that at the very least Chris wears it much less than he used to do, or possibly that the medallion has finally checked out for good.

In [[November 2012]], Chris made [[Lego]] edition of him wearing a tiny paper medallion his [[Facebook]] image, suggesting that Chris hasn't totally given up on [[Sonichu]], or at least sees it as an important part of his identity.
==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Sonic the Hedgehog

2011-10-05T14:02:36Z

Ash link: Missed one

[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Sonic the Hedgehog''' is a shitty recolor of beloved [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. [[Sega]]'s blatant plagiarism has given renowned Sonichu creator [[Christian Weston Chandler]] [[Stress|many sleepless nights]].

Chris claims that Sonic has been his life hero since June [[1990]] [''sic'']<ref>''Sonic the Hedgehog'' wasn't released until June [[1991]] - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Ironically, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991. Of course, there can be ''[[Wikipedia:Rad Mobile|Rad Mobile]]'' by Sega released in 1990, but that would have not made much sense either seeing as Sonic only made a cameo appearance as an air freshener and nothing more, despite the particular appearance in that game predating Sonic's own first game. That, and ''Rad Mobile'' was a very less-known game from Sega, so the chance of Chrissy playing the game during 1990 ([[Soul Calibur|and failing miserably at it]]) would be highly unlikely.</ref>, replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|''Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog'']], involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat [[Robotnik]], who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. At the end of every show, a small segment titled "Sonic Says" ([[Random-access humor|humorously]] misspelled "Sonic Sez" by Tails) would begin. Each segment would involve Sonic teaching a small moral lesson for kids to learn, such as [[Jerkops|when to call 9-1-1]], [[Rape|what to do if someone attempts to molest or kidnap you]], and telling kids [[Sonichu Special 4|not to play]] with [[Megatron Pistol|guns]].

The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree]]. Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his decisions to enter contests (cf. [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' Commercial]], [[Pixelated PS3]]) to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu]].

Apparently, at one point, Sonic was more widely recognized than Mickey Mouse. He was also intentionally designed to be easy to draw, had an [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|incoherently random daily cartoon]] and a [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|dead-serious pseudo-cyberpunk Saturday cartoon]] to cover both ends of the kids' cartoon spectrum, an army of merchandising, and, oh yeah, most of the games actually didn't suck back in the day. That and its enormous popularity (he likes all popular music, after all, why not all popular cartoons?) almost certainly drew in Chris.

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to ''Sonic'' is unknown. As the years went by, the games became steadily worse until they fell into a randomly spawning black hole of supercrap and seem doomed to dwell within its depths forever. The cartoons both ended, were replaced by [[Wikipedia:Sonic Underground|something almost as godawful as ''Sonichu'']], and the [[Wikipedia:Sonic X|latest cartoon]] is dumb enough to suck, yet not enough to be ironically entertaining. Many more pop culture trends have come and gone, some good, some heinously bad, but Chris has stuck by ''Sonic'' (and ''Pokémon'') like an abused wife. Judging by the large amount of pages about ''Sonic''-loving lolcows (autistic or not) on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], there's obviously something about ''Sonic'' that [[Trolls|we]] don't see. Given how rabid a fanboy Chris has become, perhaps brand loyalty has transitioned into a sort of fannish Stockholm syndrome.

Chris's loyalty was so strong that he was visibly upset when told by bullies that Sonic was dead.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 9|Jackie Chat #9]]</ref> This was an early example of trolls being able to find one of Chris's 'tard rage buttons.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue #1, never mentioned again until [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], where [[Robbie]] sickeningly refers to him as "Uncle Sonic".

===Tails's lack of a role in the comics===
'''Miles "Tails" Prower''' is Sonic's sidekick, and has been in the franchise since [[Wikipedia:Sonic The Hedgehog 2|''Sonic the Hedgehog II'']] was released in [[1992]] for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Master System|Sega Master System]]. He has been featured in almost every form of ''Sonic''-related media such as cartoons, anime, and comic books. As such, many have been perplexed on why neither he nor an idiot ripoff (likely named "Prowerlo Sonichu") has made an appearance in ''Sonichu''.

Christian has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckles and Shadow and featuring an [[Transformers|Autobot]] named "[[Prower]]". It is likely Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by [[BlueSpike|thirteen-year-olds]] on [[GameFAQs|GameFAGs]] and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were a [[homos|gay]] couple. Christian said that "I just did not feel need for a Tails-like Character in the stories. I disagree with all the rumors against Tails; if you read the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Comic Book Series]] from Archie Comics, Tails gets a Girlfriend."<ref>[[Mailbag_21#Why no Tails?|Mailbag #21]]</ref> He later claims that he "did not feel it appropriate for Tails to be in my comic."<ref>[[Mailbag_38#Chris is an expert matchmaker|Mailbag #38]]</ref>

Despite this, Chris ''did'' create a Tails-like [[Pokémon]] named Evails, though he only appeared on the [[Wall of Originals]]. Tails also gets a mention in "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]", a Sonichu short story which predates the comics.

== Amy Rose ==
'''Amy Rose''' is a ''[[Sonic]]'' character created in [[1993]], making her first appearance in the game [[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|''Sonic CD'']]. She serves as the self-proclaimed love interest of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]. In fleshing out the world of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] quickly ripped off the character to serve as Sonichu's girlfriend, [[Rosechu]].

[[Image:Chrischan_traced.jpg|thumb|Yep, definitely different.]]

While Sonichu is essentially a recolor of Sonic the Hedgehog with a Pikachu tail shoved up his ass, Chris couldn't even be bothered to employ that tiny amount of creativity in creating Rosechu. Like Amy Rose, Rosechu has green eyes and pink fur, with the spines on her head arranged to resemble a bob haircut. Both wear red boots and dresses, with Rosechu's having a blue trim in a slightly different pattern to Amy's white trim. Visually, the only obvious distinction between the two is the [[Raichu]] tail Rosechu has, and the spines on the center of Amy's forehead, which Rosechu lacks. It should be noted, however, that when Chris draws Amy, he [[Chris and art|fails]] to draw the forehead spines properly.

{{quote|MAJOR Differences between Amy and Rosie; Amy never had spikes on her back, the clothes are Different; Rosie’s Headband is White, not Red, and Rosechu has a modern girl kinda attitude, and lucky for her, Sonichu RARELY runs away from her charms. And, of course, she has her Electric-Type Attacks to boot.|Christian Weston Chandler, damning himself with [[The Sonichu Chronicles|faint praise]].}}

[[Image: Rosechu-AmyRose2.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Even Chris is bored with this sexist gabfest.]]

As Christian points out, the only real difference between Amy and Rosechu in terms of characterization is that while Amy's crush on Sonic is not reciprocated, Sonichu has been sucking face with Rosechu since the [[Sonichu 0|day they met]]. Obviously, this hardly marks a difference in their ''personality''. If anything, it says more about the differences between Sonic and Sonichu, since they respond differently to affection. Since she's already made her romantic conquest, Rosechu is free to pursue the life of a "modern girl", which apparently means [[Sonichu 8|face-raping people]] and producing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|amateur pornography]]. It should also be noted that unlike Rosechu, Amy at least does have some notable moments within the Sonic series, such as single-handedly defeating the ZERO robot in ''Sonic Adventure'' and breaking into a military base to free a captured Sonic in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', whilst Rosechu's defining moments are considered facerape, sucking Sonichu's [[pickle]], and [[Women's rights|getting captured]] at every given opportunity.

[[Image: Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Sheesh, they even think the same words.]]

As an epilogue to the Sonichu/Sonic team-up in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], Rosechu happens to meet Amy in [[CWCville Mall]]. With no hint of irony, the two remark upon how similar they are, and engage in a [[Women's Rights|vapid conversation about shopping and relationships]].

== Shadow the Hedgehog ==
Introduced in [[2001]]'s [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure 2|''Sonic Adventure 2'']], '''Shadow the Hedgehog''' is an anti-hero version of Sonic the Hedgehog. Quickly becoming a fan favorite among the ''Sonic'' family of characters, it was only a matter of time before [[Chris]] decided to "create" another [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]...

Unlike [[Rosechu]], who is virtually identical to [[Amy Rose]] in every relevant respect, [[Black Sonichu]] (Blake) only resembles Shadow in his color scheme and tenuous allegiance to the forces of evil. While Shadow is primarily motivated by his desire to learn about his mysterious past, Black Sonichu was informed of every aspect of his creation by [[Naitsirhc]]. Most notably, while Shadow is supposed to be a dark and edgy character, Black Sonichu is basically just a punk, committing blatant mischief for very transparent motives.

While this might seem to make Black Sonichu halfway original, it really only means that he's a poor copy of [[Sonichu]] instead of a slightly less poor copy of Shadow. Blake's only real claim to individuality was that he acted like an asshole; since falling for [[Bubbles]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he doesn't even have that going for him.

Shadow makes one appearance in the ''Sonichu'' canon when he shows up as a drummer for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]], but is later replaced by [[Punchy Sonichu]].

==Comics==
[[File:Sth189.jpg|thumb|right|More likely than not a bigger inspiration than the games series itself. At its lowest points, it rivaled Sonichu in all but art.]]

Like with the cartoons, ''Sonic'' had comic adaptations up the ass, but in an even more bloated sense, as each comic series was specific to the region of the world they were released in. Japan got a series of crazy manga involving Sonic being some sort of alter-ego of a picked on misunderstood nerd ([[Chris-Chan Sonichu|bizarre coincidence?]]), Europe got a clichéd comic series published by Fleetway (the same company that once published ''2000 A.D.'') that appealed to the gaming demographic of the [[1990s]], that was more or less the glorified [[SEGA]] advertisement for the continent, and the U.S. got a comic book series based on the Saturday morning cartoon ''Sonic SATam''. Despite the video game franchise more or less crashing and burning, the comic series is still alive and running to this day, although it's unclear if that's due to popularity or just a small, dedicated fan basis of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|creepy furries]] and SEGA's endorsement to squeeze every penny they can from this dying franchise.

The majority of Chris's inspiration from the comics seem to come from the work of Ken Penders, who is also an egotistical jerk who tries to claim copyright on the [[Punchy Sonichu|Knuckles recolors]] he made during his run on the comics. Since 2006, however, Ken was fired and replaced by someone who actually knows how to write a children's comic. Sadly this is not the case with Sonichu.

Chris has hinted at and mentioned that he is familiar with this comic series, and the layout of his comics tends to replicate the style of early Archie ''Sonic'' covers. Reldnahc's calling Chris "Prime-Chan" in the comic may be a reference to the character [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_comic_book_characters#Evil_Sonic.2FScourge_the_Hedgehog|Scourge the Hedgehog]], an evil version of Sonic from another dimension; Sonic is referred to as "Sonic Prime" when dealing with inter-dimensional storylines. Chris has also been known to trace images from an early special of the comic, "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles", for the basis of some of his fight scenes, and one of the early shorts, entitled "Sonichu 25 Years Later," takes its name from a 2004 arc called "Mobius 25 Years Later." Whether he still reads the comics now or not is unknown, but it is probable that he does. He has stated that he would like ''Sonichu'' to be published by Archie Comics.<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat #6]]</ref> If Chris still reads it, it will probably be a source of plagiarism and mass-debating for years to come.

Starting in [[April 2010]], [[Sony]] began releasing the Archie ''Sonic'' comics for download via the [[Playstation Network]].<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/22/playstation-comics-store-update-17/ PlayStation Comics Store Update]</ref> The likelihood that Chris has purchased them? [[Chris and money|Close to 100%.]]

==Plagiarism==
Main article: [[Ripped_off#Sonic_the_Hedgehog]]

To put it bluntly, Sonichu is a copyright infringement. He tries to work around this fact by claiming that Sonichu is a [[parody]] of Sonic the Hedgehog but Sonichu does not really derive humour or provide commentary on the original franchise. For exact details as to what is ripped off, see the main article.

==Sega's response==
[[Image:Sega's Reponse.png|thumb|Sega's reaction to the discovery of ''Sonichu''.]]
After being scarred by the shitty drawn comic by Christian Weston Chandler one fan finally decided to let Sega in on ''Sonichu''.

While Sega would probably do nothing while Sonichu is just an obscure online fan-fiction/webcomic because Sega does tolerate equally bad abominations (Furry Bomb for example) created from their Sonic franchise and suing a [[slow in the mind|somewhat retarded]] fan would bring them bad publicity but if Chris ever did get his comic professionally published (spoiler: [[chris and the industry|he wont]]) he would likely be sued.

==Sonic's reaction to Chris Chan==

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|WxXwYHeNat0}}
</center>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 8 and 28.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with twenty years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day! [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg|Sonic looking an awful lot like Christian.
Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]"?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg|[[6 June 2010|Yep,]] [[Don't Mess With Me|that]] [[Sonichu 10|most]] [[Autism Tutorial Extra|certainly ]][[Death threats|taught]] [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|him.]]
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own [[Jimmy Hill|unlicensed ''Sonic'' merchandise]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.
Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[For Julie's Eyes Only|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Doctor Robotnik]]
* [[Chris and copyright]]

==Sources and notes==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog]] on [[Wikipedia]]

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Patti Chandler

2011-10-05T13:48:35Z

Ash link:

{{Quote|My- Patti will- the spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! she will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|respecting his deceased pet.]] }}

{{Quote|Let's hire a black tranny hooker to dig up Patti's corpse while yelling JULAAAAAYYYYY!|A typical discussion on [[/cwc/]]...}}

[[Image:0054-Patti2.jpg|thumb|Patti Chandler, devourer of souls]]
[[File:PattiAbomination.png|thumb|Patti today]]

'''Patti Chandler''' (17 March [[1988]] - 27 [[June 2006]]) was [[Chris]]'s childhood dog, a [[Wikipedia:Beagle|beagle]]-[[Wikipedia:Spitz|spitz]] mix, who was put down in [[2006]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> Chris brought Patti back to life in one of his comics, where she somehow gained the ability to walk, talk, and apply for [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] in [[CWCville]].

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Flying Dutchman|Flying Dutchman]], who was cursed to roam the seven seas forever, Patti is cursed to [[Patti-Chan|wander in CWCville]] as she is not allowed to rest in peace.

There is not a single known picture of Patti indoors, suggesting that she was just left in her pen in the backyard all the time. According to Chris, her wood-and-plastic doghouse weighed "like, five, ten tons".<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> While a normal person might say something like that figuratively to represent the emotional weight it would take to carry the home of a deceased loved one, Chris acts as though he [[11042009 51 50|honestly believes that's how much it weighs]].

When confronted about his [[Chris and remorse|insensitivity]], or when someone tries to point out that he has [[Father Call|never once experienced true hardship in his miserable life]], Chris is always quick to point out that he experienced the loss of Patti. He even mentions Patti's death over the death of his [[Aunt Corrina]] (who gave Patti to him in the first place). Chris seems to only mention his aunt as an afterthought when the comparison between someone losing a [[Ryan Cash|close family member]] and Chris losing his dog is scoffed at.

According to the [[Father Call]] and [[Chris_Chan_gets_chewed_out_by_Kacey#Part_3|a call between Kacey and Chris,]] Chris seems to think that Patti is more than just a dog. He goes as far as to say that her death was comparable to 9/11.

It is entirely possible that Patti was the only life form to ever love Chris out of anything other than obligation. Patti was also probably the only acquaintance with which Chris has ever had very much in common. Not because they shared [[Chris_and_sex#Beastiality|a mystical bond between man and beast]], brought about through the wondrous unexplained mysteries of [[autism]], but because they were both animals driven by brute instinct with no level of higher comprehension whatsoever.

According to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|a video from January 2010]], Patti now lives in [[CWCville|hell]] and feasts on [[Beel|human souls]]. While this may seem to be at odds with the canon of the Sonichu comics, it makes perfect sense if you consider the distinct possibility that CWCville ''is'' hell.

==Eulogy for Patti, as written by Chris==
<blockquote>
 Patti Chandler
 March 17, [[1980s#1988|1988]] to June 27, [[2006]]

 Eulogy written by Christian Weston Chandler, June 27, 2006
[[Image:091-PattiMemory.jpg|thumb|Patti, you sweet, unlucky dog.]]
 My family, [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|furry]] friends, (anyone else present), we are gathered here today to pay our last respects and wishes to our dearly beloved beagle/spitz, Patti, who has departed from our world here on earth to a [[CWCville|doggy heaven where she will be happier]], because she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up there. And she will often look down upon her beloved family, me, Christian Chandler, my mother, [[Barbara Chandler]], and my father [[Robert Chandler]], and the [[Chandler cats|cats]] who have grown fond of Patti.

 I will always remember Patti for all the lovely memories she has shared with me from:
 -When I picked her out of the litter at my [[Aunt Corina|Aunt Corina's]] house in Redoak, Virginia.
 -The many walks I have shared with her around this neighborhood, as well as the neighborhood in the [[Chris's_homes#Newberry_Towne_Subdivision|Newberry Towne subdivision in Richmond, Virginia.]]
 -The time I watched my old best friend, [[Sarah Hammer]], take Patti by her front paws and danced a bit.
 -The times I've watched her stand on her hind legs and then rewarded her with a biscuit bone.
 -The time I took my camera to her pen and took this lovely picture of her and me, and I made a big deal how she'll be like a movie dog star.
 -The times I've just sat with her in the yard and petted her head. I've always given her a [[Homos|"Bally-Scratch"]] where I stroke her head with all five fingers like as if I was gently squeezing a [[Sonichu_Ball|rubber ball.]]
 -The many times I've fed her a can of food and a cup full of dry food, and refilled her bucket with fresh water so she can drink it and wash her face.
 -There was also the one time I saw her resting on top of her doghouse (not on her back like Snoopy).
 -[[Wikipedia:Border collie|I've often wondered why between both her ears, why one was bent and the other was straight like an arrowhead]].

 When Patti was brought to the vet on that [[Fail|faithful]] day, I was distraught with fright and concern for her health. I stayed with her during her final moments with a hand on her head and a tear in my eye. When my mother was brought the paper that gave the doctor permission to send her on her way, I didn't want her to be the one to sign it. I raised Patti since she was a six-week old pup, and I wanted to take the strain for signing the one-way ticket (it was hard for me, but it was for the best). So I signed that paper, with a crying [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] face saying, "We love you, Patti." After that, I gave her my final pets, hug, hand-to-paw hold, eye-contact, ear-rub, cheek-to-fur rub, and I sadly waved her for the final time, and I said, "Good Bye, Patti, I Love You." As I stood outside, I heard Patti's last barks saying, "I will always love you, Chris. Thank You."

 But we all must move on with our lives with our beloved lucky mutt in our hearts and in our memories. So, Patti, may your old dog house and surrounding flowers forever memorialize your blessed heart, your barks at the stars and strangers, and your loyal love that you have blessed upon me and my family and friends. Bark on, and rest in peace, our beloved lucky Patti.<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2006#September]]</ref></blockquote>

==Current activity==

Not content with an eternity of biscuit bones and "bally-scratches" in doggy heaven, Patti has apparently taken time out of being dead to [[Dreams#The Patti-chan dream|assure her former master]] of her peaceful afterlife in a dream. Also, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Chris has averred]] that her vengeful spirit will seek out [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] and his cohorts for allegedly besmirching her memory and proceed to, in no particular order, give them nightmares, eat their souls and kill them. Yet, as always, Chris still thinks of himself as a [[Chris and Anger|kind hearted]], [[Chris and Religion|Christian]] individual.

Patti's physical remains rest underneath her ten-ton doghouse in the Chandlers' backyard. The notion of exhuming and desecrating her bones has become a popular running joke among trolls, to the point that Chris, in a September 2010 [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|YouTube video]], took the time to fiercely deny any rumors that the corpse of his dog was anywhere except where he had buried it.

Chris has also shown his respect for his beloved canine friend by pretending (while dressed as a hooker) to [[It's not that cold|dig up Patti]] and repurpose her as a coat. Showing that not only can Patti be used as a unholy weapon of soul sucking revenge, but as a coat, too.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0050-Patti5.jpg|Patti relaxing.
Image:0051-Patti6.jpg|Waiting for her master's [[Chris and health|fat ass]] at [[McDonald's]].
Image:0052-Patti.JPG|Patti full of [[stress]]
Image:0053-Patti1.jpg|Although Patti lived in a cage outside, it was at least 1000 times better than the disaster zone called the Chandler house.
Image:0054-Patti2.jpg|Patti will devour your soul!
Image:0055-Patti3.jpg
Image:0056-CWCPatti2.jpg|Even Patti is ashamed by chris's [[chris and fashion|get-up]]
Image:0719-PattisDoghouse.JPG|Can you dig it?
Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|"That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons."
Image:ModNation PattiChan.jpg|Her [[Patti-chan|horrendous furfag alter ego]] as seen in [[ModNation Racers]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and death]]
*[[Patti-Chan]]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Eulogy_for_Patti Patti's entry on CWCipedia]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Patti}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Pets]]

Megagi La Skunk

2011-10-05T13:48:22Z

Ash link:

[[Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|thumb|left|An example of Megagi's change in personality.]]
[[Image:Megagi.jpg|thumb|Megagi's reaction to being included in Christian's shitty comic.]]

{{quote|Whether or not you've noticed NONE of my original female characters have....breasts. I just don't believe in giving animals that kind of human quality.|Megan on Megagi, [[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007#Megan gives Chris a lesson in canine anatomy|6 March 2007]]}}

{{quote|SHE DOES HAVE BREASTS. Megan Schroeder DREW THAT WAY.|Chris on Megagi, [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}

'''Megagi La Skunk''' is one of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s furry-inspired characters who dates [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. She has outlived her creator's presence in the comic, similar to [[Jiggliami]], except Megan was (probably) not a [[troll]]. Megagi does not have breasts.

Megagi was originally called '''Spunky Skunk''', which Chris obviously didn't like because it might have reminded him of a rather [[Semen|nasty habit]].

Given her name and color scheme, she likely constitutes a plagiarism of ''[[Wikipedia:Tiny Toon Adventures|Tiny Toon Adventures]]'' character [[Wikipedia:Fifi La Fume|Fifi La Fume]].

Megagi is colored purple, pink and blue. The same colors are used to symbolize bisexual pride.

Worth noting is that Megagi was originally from [[Parody]] Island, where she probably lives with Megan's other traced [[Sonic]]/[[Pokémon]] hybrids, but the name was changed to [[Chris and religion|Parodyse]] Island in the comic.

Megagi used to have somewhat of a different personality from the other female characters at first; she seemed to be the [[Silvana|tomboyish]] type, and Chris described her as being like an "Army Soldier". In [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], she calls Chris out on his shit.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/images/0/03/SchuComic6P21.jpg]</ref> Although her concept is still not so original, it was different from the typical [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] who just liked shopping. However, in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], she gets watered down just like the rest of them - [[Women's Rights|girly and no personality]] - and later on in the comic she is further reduced to being [[Bionic]]'s personal cheerleader.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:085-ChrisChanWMegagi.jpg|Chris-Chan and Megagi touch their balls.
Image:128-CChanMegagi.jpg
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|Two of these things...
Image:317-Megagi.jpg|...are not like the others
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references />

==See also:==
{{Fan art|chris=Megagi}}
*[[Megan Schroeder]]
*[[Sailor Megtune]]
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Homos]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

PandaHalo

2011-10-05T13:47:33Z

Ash link:

[[Image:PandaHalo.jpg|thumb|100px|I LOVE YOU, PANDA BEAR.]]

{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|Chris, [[Chris and death|sensitive as ever]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

{{Quote|''[[Kacey]]:'' That would be horrible for you to ignore someone being raped like that, Chris... '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. It was hard for me to ignore.|from [[Kacey Call 23]]}}

'''Sarah Cassandra''' '''"PandaHalo"''' '''McKenzie''' was [[Chris]]'s TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]] who lived in South Australia before her "fiery death".

==History==
[[Image:Me_and_Panda_Bear_by_SonichuSite.jpg|thumb|Chris isn't totally stupid: if he finds true love, he wants it in writing (''Note the bloody finger:'' using arterial blood!!!).]]

During the [[Blanca]] Saga, PandaHalo continued to send occasional messages to Chris. After Chris realized his mistake in believing in Blanca, he decided to declare Panda his [[TRUE and HONEST]] girlfriend.

Panda toyed with Chris for a while, discovering how desperate he was for [[China|sex]]. Panda really pushed the limits of acceptable behavior, and their conversations show just how gullible Chris can be when china is on the line. A good example is how she [[IRC (27 December 2008)|verbally abuses Chris while claiming that she's starting to fall in love]] with [[Robert Simmons V]], occasionally typing extremely obvious and specific insults to Chris and easily passing it off as some kind of bizarre form of Tourette's syndrome, or easily getting Chris to agree to bizarre sex acts, such as convincing him to have sex with a dog for her pleasure (for the record, he says he'd be willing to have sex with a collie, like Lassie)<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>. She managed to obtain the first sexual footage of Chris masturbating and audio of Chris talking about his [[Sex Logs|sexual opinions]]. He also sent Panda a [[PSP]] that was originally intended for [[Megan]].

In a disturbing act of revenge, [[Clyde Cash]] flew to Australia and raped Panda.<ref>IRC (21 January 2009)</ref> She fell pregnant with Clyde's child, a fact which didn't appear to faze Chris in the slightest. Clyde immediately and generously offered to take care of Panda and their baby in his mansion, whereas Chris subtly pressured Panda into getting an abortion. As Chris was in the middle of lecturing Clyde about forgiveness, he was in an unusually forgiving mood, and actively encouraged Panda to abandon her child to the man who'd raped her so Panda could live with Chris in his parents' house. While Clyde offered to house not only Panda and their child, but Chris as well, his stipulation that Chris would have to get a job nixed that idea. There was also the issue that Clyde's act of rape had gotten Panda addicted to sex (which, as a man who has [[Chris and Sex|learned everything he knows about sex from porn]], Chris didn't at all question), and she expressed some interest in regular threesomes with Chris and Clyde. In the end, Panda gave Chris an ultimatum: [[Miyamoto Saga|talk to Nintendo to make ''Sonichu'' a reality]] so that Chris could support their future family together, and she would gladly abort Clyde's baby and live with him as his sex-addicted, baby-spewing wife. Failure to do so meant she would live with Clyde in his mansion and raise their child together. Chris, of course, wouldn't put in the effort to get the only [[Sonichu Adventure|two]] [[china|things]] he had ever cared about, and forfeited Panda to Clyde. Shortly after, however, he'd heard about the Australian bushfires...

=="Death"==
Chris convinced himself that PandaHalo was one of 173 people who died in the [[Wikipedia:Black Saturday bushfires|Black Saturday bushfires of February 2009]], <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_75 ''Sonichu'' #9, Episode #20, Page 75]</ref> but whether this is true or not shall remain a mystery '''forever'''.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the fictional version of PandaHalo met her demise. After her building is "put ablaze," she hurls her Poké Balls out the window to save her Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[Blazebob Sonichu]]. After approximately fifteen seconds of mourning, Blazebob reassures Chloe that they need to move on, mirroring Chris's [[Chris and death|lack of grief]] after the real Panda's untimely death.

==Avenging Panda==
It only took a year for him to get around to it, but Chris finally obtained some manner of revenge against Clyde Cash for the rape of PandaHalo in a [[Don't Mess With Me|recent YouTube video]]. Granted, it was a complete fantasy...but then, so are all of [[Sonichu_Comic|Chris's victories]].

==Rebirth==
In an [[April 2010]] update to the [[CWCipedia]], Chris published a page discussing the women he's known in his life, including Panda. There, he revealed that he no longer believes she is dead. Instead:

{{quote|I recently learned that she was still alive, married to Clyde and with healthy child. Even though my memorial dedications were apparently a loss, I wish Sarah and Clyde many happy years in their marriage.|Chris, on the CWCipedia.}}

In [[Clyde E-mails|recently released e-mails]], it was discovered that Clyde was the one who told Chris that Panda had died and that it was a lie to get him away from her. In return, Chris sought to give Panda the PSN accounts he had made for her and held onto for over a year in exchange of proof of this.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Iamsvenka.jpg
Image:Chris_Chan_s_Panda_by_-2FC.png
</gallery>

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
* [[Chloe]] - A fictional girlfriend Chris made up after Blanca that served as a partial codename for Panda.
* [[Chris and death]]
* [[Chris Sex Logs]]

==External links==
*[http://pandahalo.deviantart.com/ Panda's deviantArt Profile]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:McKenzie, Sarah Cassandra}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category: PandaHalo Saga]]

Nintendo

2011-10-05T13:47:19Z

Ash link:

[[File:ChrisGameShop.jpg|thumb|Chris at the Nintendo shoppa]]

'''Nintendo Co., Ltd.''' (Japanese: 任天堂株式会社 ''Nintendō Kabushiki gaisha'') is a multinational company from [[Wikipedia:Kyoto|Kyoto]], Japan, which was founded in 1889 and started off with producing [[Card games|playing cards]]. During the latter half of the 20th century it started getting more and more involved in the [[video games|video game]] industry. In [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], five years before the birth of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], Nintendo brought out its first gaming console.<ref>[http://www.nindb.net/system/color-tv-game.html Color TV Game | NinDB]</ref> It is now one of three chiefs competitors on this market, along with [[Microsoft]] and [[Sony]].

==Nintendo and Chris==
[[File:Customwiimote.jpg|thumb|Chris chillin' with his Wii]]

Chris currently owns several Nintendo consoles, as well as [[List of Chris's games|a shitload of games for them]]. For a time being (before the [[PS3]] came along), ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' was the biggest game in his life and he made the hour-long [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]] in which he would tell Nintendo about his many personal problems and how much he hated the [[Sony]] [[PlayStation]]; it still remains his longest video to date.

Along with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], ''[[Pokémon]]'' was his "[[plagiarism|inspiration]]" for creating [[Sonichu]] and the other [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]; this was actually positively covered by ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]''.

During the early epic [[Miyamoto Saga]] in [[2008]]-[[2009]], Chris was [[troll]]ed by [[Clyde Cash]] impersonating various Nintendo officials, including [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Takashi Tezuka]], [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] and the Nintendo lawyer [[Jay Z]].

In [[2010]], Nintendo's [[Flipnote Hatena]] service became a major part in Chris's ongoing [[Love Quest]]. In 2011, Chris felt betrayed by his favorite company for [[3DS Flipnote| not porting the Flipnote software quick enough]].
==In the comic==
[[File:NDS.PNG|thumb|300px|Seems an awfully convenient plot device - it's almost as if Chris isn't a very talented writer.]]
In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], Chris uses a DS to connect to Wi-Fi, search [[CWCville]] for villains.

==See also==
[[File:003-NPSon.jpg|thumb|[[SEGA]] Nintendo!]]

*[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|Appeal to Nintendo in Redmond]]
*[[Club Nintendo]]
*[[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays e-mails]]
*[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]]
*[[Chris E-mails 2004-2006|Nintendo e-mails]]
*[[An Official Sonichu Update|Nintendo of America]]
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Wii Incident]]
*[[Wii Remote of Fail]]

==Soures==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Nintendo|Nintendo]] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Mal-Wart

2011-10-05T13:46:59Z

Ash link:

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to [[W-M-Manajerk|him]], “I do not speek [''sic''] to any Man other than myself, because [[JERKS|they]] all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my [[car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

[[Image:Walmart Charlottesville.jpg|thumb|Charlottesville Wal-Mart branch]]
[[Image:Ruckersville.jpg|thumb|(Top left in blue text) The site of the new [[Ruckersville]] Wal-Mart]]
[[File:Malwart.JPG|Close, but no [[Tobacky|cigar]].|thumb]]
'''Mal-Wart''' is [[Chris]]'s rather shitty (and mildly evocative of foot fungus) anagram for [[Wikipedia:Wal-Mart|Wal-Mart]] in his [[comic]]s.

==Love Quest==
[[File:Chris 09.jpg|thumb|Chris at Mal-Wart on 3 or 4 [[September 2011]].]]
In [[June 2005]] the [[Charlottesville]] Wal-Mart served as an [[Attraction Location]] for Chris's never ending [[Love Quest]]. Chris would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his stuff, and wait around for hours.

On 22 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his [[Attraction Sign]] and called the [[jerkops]] on him. Chris hid the sign and denied that he had it, but he was banned from entering the Wal-Mart anyway. However, Chris interpreted this to mean he was only banned from the McDonald's he was in at the time.

On 25 June, Chris attempted again to loiter and came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures. The conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. When the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him, Chris ran away, almost hitting the manager with his car. He would later gloat about this.

Chris would return to Wal-Mart in [[October 2009]], forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a [[sports bra]].

Unfortunately, they decided to build a new store right next door to him in [[Ruckersville]],<ref>[http://www.nbc29.com/global/story.asp?s=11501642 Wal-Mart Breaks Ground In Ruckersville]</ref> which opened on 18 [[August 2010]].<ref>[http://walmartstores.com/pressroom/news/10185.aspx Ruckersville Walmart Associates Welcome Customers to New Store]</ref> In the [[Jackie e-mails]] Chris said he was looking to apply here. Look forward to many more overweight [[autistic]] loitering and soliciting, [[jerkop]]-related [[lulz]] and mishaps, and eventual bannings & restraining orders. Chris drove past the new Wal-Mart on his [[DayOut|day out]] in [[October 2010]].

==References in the comic==
Chris chronicles his expulsion from Wal-Mart in ''[[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|Sonichu #3, Sub-Episode 4]]''. In Chris's fantasy world, instead of being asked to leave nicely, he is confronted by B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic and instead of whatever verbal exchange that may have actually occurred Chris fights the [[Manajerks]] as Super [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] alongside [[Darkbind]]. It's impossible to discern what actually happened, but because of Chris's refusal to leave, or stay away, the Wal-Mart Regional Manager appears on the scene as W-M-Manajerk.

These events are reprinted in ''[[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 5: Christian Chandler in "McAttack part 2"|Sonichu #4, Sub-Episode 4 part 2]]'' were the fight between Chris and W-M-Manajerk continues. Chris's interpretation of the events take a huge departure from reality. To battle W-M-Manajerk Chris uses his pixel block [[Heart Torch]] to summon his identical twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (not to be confused with his future daughter, doubly named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]). After a bizarre display of super powers and some long, boring speeches, Chris wins and buys Crystal lunch.

B-Manajerk, Merried Seinor Comic and W-M-Manajerk all reappear in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] as part of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

==Potential employee==
At [[Jackie]]'s prompting, Chris applied for work at Wal-Mart in [[October 2010]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Get-Tar Region]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

Jimmy Hill

2011-10-05T13:46:47Z

Ash link:

{{quote|Think Once, Think Twice... Think Bike!!!|Jimmy Hill, valiantly teaching road safety to his Sonichu fans<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWC8HVDD6AU Think Bike! video]</ref>}}
'''Jimmy Hill''' (full name '''James William Thomas Hill, [[Wikipedia:Order of the British Empire|OBE]]''') is the true original creator of [[Sonichu]], whom he devised after a two year prison term resulting from selling counterfeit Warner Brothers merchandise.
==The Legend==
[[Image:Jimmuh hill.jpg|thumb|200px|This man could kill you with just his chin.]]
[[File:SchuComic10P20.jpg|thumb|Chris's semi-comprehensible response.]]
Hill envisioned Sonichu as the first openly [[gay]] cartoon character (unlike the closeted Tinky-Winky and Spongebob characters). Hill's achievement won him almost instant fame among sympathetic London tabloids, who were quick to capitalize on Sonichu fever. A promotional offer ended with Hill selling millions of die-cast Sonichu figurines to loyal fans in the European Union. The equally engaging ''Sonichu'' television show has grossed additional millions, augmenting Hill's already bursting coffers.

Despite all his wealth and fame, Hill has remained true to the mission of Sonichu, which is to spread homosexuality among children as young as six years of age. Hill has been quoted as saying "Sonichu is like a televised friend. You can turn to him for support when you are questioning your own feelings for the opposite sex. I think that kids are just wonderful, and they should know from a very early age that homosexuality is a wonderful, beautiful, and beneficial variant of sex".

Hill's future plans include a line of Sonichu necklaces and pendants for millions of women who desire them, as well as hand-drawn Sonichu comic books, which Hill hopes will bring him additional profits.

July 2009, he announced on his website:
<div style="font-family:verdana; font-size: 18px; margin-top:40px; text-align:left;background-color:#ffffec; border:1pt solid #999999;padding:10px">
<big>
<center>*** Jimmy Hill has retired ***</center></big> 

He has made so much money now that it's time to pass on the flame. From now on the one TRUE creator and distributor of Sonichu merchandise can be found here:

<center>http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC</center>

<center>All other Sonichu Merchandise is FAKE.

</center>

Thanks to the millions of Sonichu fans around the world for all of their support!
</div>

==Sonichu Anime? How KAWAII!==
<center><gallery>
Image:Anime1.jpg|Image from the extremely popular Sonichu anime, which is the hottest show in Europe.
Image:Anime2.jpg|"Sonichu, as your TRUE ORIGINAL CREATOR I command you to ZAP that wanker!"
Image:Anime3.jpg|Sonichu, the first openly gay children's cartoon character who is truly an inspiration to us all.
Image:Anime4.jpg|Oh no, it's the evil Chris-Chu!
Image:Sonichuanimeclip3593.gif
</gallery></center>

==Sonichu is popular. In Europe. Srsly.==
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichuadvertnw4.jpg|The ad that started it all.
Image:Viz-advert812.jpg|AND LOOK, IT'S IN A REAL MAGAZINE SO THEREFORE IT MUST BE REAL. TOTALLY NOT PRINTED OUT AND INSERTED ON TOP OF AN EXISTING PAGE.
Image:Article-sonichu-71.jpg|Only in today's Europe can a man who was guilty of copyright infringement create such a brilliant and lovable gay children's character!
Image:Dailymailarticlebo4.jpg|Even the Daily Mail can't help but cover Sonichumania in Europe.
Image:Boxes633.jpg|Boxes of the #1 best selling DVD in the UK ''[[DVD|Yep, I'm on TV! - Jimmy Hill's Life Story]]''
Image:Dvdrack2ed3.jpg|Within seconds, all of the Jimmy Hill DVDs were sold out.
Image:JimmyHillLogo.jpg|Unlike Chris, Jimmy Hill was definitely on the [[honor roll]].
Image:Sonichu Comic Issue 1.jpg|Look familiar? That's because Chris STOLE Mr. Hill's brilliant cover for his [[Sonichu 0|own use]]
Image:Xbox game small.jpg|The video game!
</gallery></center>

==The Truth==
James William Thomas Hill OBE (or "Jimmy" Hill as he's affectionately called by his millions of [[Sonichu]] fans) (born 22 July 1928) is an ex-English football ("soccer", for you Americunts) player and BBC sports commentator who, unlike some [[Chris|faggots]], went out and was fairly successful. Indeed, he was nominated for Mustache of The Year Award several times over the years. To this date, he has never once interacted with [[Chris|the autistic wonder]]; but as Chris's [[fail]] grows...

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Sonichu.net]]
*[[Trolls]]

==External links==
* [http://sonichu.110mb.com The OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL Jimmy Hill's Sonichu Site!]
*[[Wikipedia:Jimmy Hill|Wikipedia article on Jimmy Hill]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Hill, Jimmy}}
[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]

JERKS

2011-10-05T13:46:35Z

Ash link:

[[Image:140-AJerk.jpg|thumb|Chris even divides his [[trading card game]] monsters into JERKS and females.]]

'''JERK''' is [[Chris's]] term for men in general, including those who are not [[niggo]]s, [[homos]], or [[jerkops]]. The canonical definition is "a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>

For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male [[MySpace]] friends as a jerk in his personal list. A few "respectable males" are apparently exempt from jerk status, such as [[George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama]] (and possibly [[Congrats, Jack Black|Jack Black]]).

One reason is the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].

==Use as a denominator==
Although he has defined the term "jerk" to mean all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any person who gets in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants [[china]] and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, that significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], but [[Adam Stackhouse]] got in the way, therefore he is a jerk — allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.

Even being more talented than Chris, or more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris) is enough to make one a jerk in Chris's eyes. Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris; they only did what well-adjusted people do and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend (again, the ''PaRappa'' Showdown). In Chris's [[Ego|self-centered]] way of thinking, though, they were all out to get him.

==Use as a prefix/suffix==
Chris derides certain professions by using "jerk" as a prefix (as with [[jerkop]]) or a suffix (as with [[manajerk]]). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from [[Attraction_sign|soliciting members of the public for sex]]. They have obstructed his quest for [[china]] and so are jerks. Due to repeated encounters with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.

==Varying usage==
Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that '''all''' men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. [[Robert Simmons V]] was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. [[Joseph Herring]] was considered a high school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly, zit-scarred freak in his comic). Chris considered [[Joshua Martinez]] a friend (though he still tried to get [[ED]] to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, [[Megan]]'s brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|video games]]. Once again, however, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.

==Chris as the embodiment of JERK==
[[wikipedia|Wiktionary]] defines a [[wiktionary:jerk|jerk]] as "a person with [[Anger|unlikable]] or [[Ego|obnoxious]] [[Racism|qualities]] and [[Sexism|behavior]], [[Death threats|typically]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|mean]], [[Christian Love Day|self-centered]] or [[List of places that have banned Chris|disagreeable]], and [[Honor roll|often not very intelligent]]." Ironically, or perhaps better put, [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritically]], Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term "jerk" than most people he applies it to.

==The list of males Chris doesn't hate==
The most recent version of T.L.O.M.C.D.H. was provided in [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Chris's annotations to his ED article]]. There it goes as follows:
# [[Chris]] himself
# [[Bob Chandler|His father]]
# "[[Santa Clause]]" [sic]
# [[Jesus]]
# [[God]]
# [[Barack Obama|The President of the United States]]
# [[Molvanîa|All the World Leaders]]
# ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.

However, in the same [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations]], Chris confusingly states that his [[noviophobia]] is "Out-Of-Date". He goes on to say that he only hates trolls and "da haytahs" now, but also states that he is cool with the "Hating 99% of the World's Men" theory. In any case, the list is at least applicable to ''some'' point in Chris's biography, even if he [[Lies|"got over it."]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Joshua Martinez

2011-10-05T13:46:21Z

Ash link:

{{quote|Josh can't stand him, but Chris is always trying to hang out with him. I think Josh is the ONE man his age that he can stand being around.|[[PodMonkey]]}}

[[Image:Joshohshi.jpg|thumb|Josh being the badass Chris thinks he is]]
[[Image:JoshMartinez.jpg|thumb|A more recent photo of Virginia's answer to Antonio Banderas]]
[[Image:Martinezstrong.jpg|thumb|Josh is [[I AM STRONG|STRONG]]]]

'''Joshua Martinez''' carpooled with [[Christian Weston Chandler]] when they attended [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy as children. Joshua's attendance was required due to his thick [[Spanish]] accent.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

Years later, apparently, after Chris finished high school and returned to [[Ruckersville]], he and Joshua remained friends. The two took to hanging out after school in Harrisonburg, a town several miles northwest of [[Charlottesville]], where they would eat at a restaurant called [[Country Cookin]] and loiter around an abandoned airplane. While Josh has moved on, Chris never really got over his habit of [[Attraction location|hanging around and making a nuisance of himself.]]

==Lori Lopez==
{{main|Lori Lopez}}

Joshua was the first troll to masquerade as a [[boyfriend-free girl]] in order to fuck with Chris. In the fall of [[2007]], he pretended to hook Chris up with a girl named [[Lori Lopez]], chatting with Chris as her and sending him pictures. These images were actually pictures of the pop star [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. The truly hilarious part of this is that Joshua closed communication as her by confiding to Chris that "she" actually loved Josh. Eventually Chris discovered that he was trolled, and (as he does about every humiliation inflicted upon him) wrote about it in his comic.

==Chris counterattacks==
After Chris discovered he had become a lolcow, he tried diverting the attention from himself to Joshua with gems like the following edit to his [[ED]] page.
{{clear}}
{{quote|--- Look, pal, if you REALLY WANT to TAKE DOWN someone who HAS a REPUTATION, consider one JOSHUA MARTINEZ.

Ladies come a runnin' from at least as far as New York City to his house in [[China|Dyke]], VA; not just any ladies, but STARS like Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson and plenty other [[women's rights|whores]]. He also has been Piggy-Backing on the Stardom of Vanessa Hudgens; singing with her in her Latino Albums, and starring with her in various HBO movies, and even worse, [[Transformers|TRANSFORMERS]] 2. He has her and some other gal named Brittany for BOTH HIS SIMULTANEOUS GIRLFRIENDS; DUAL Marriage in the works here.

He's a more LUCKY S.O.B. than I can ever surmount to.

RUIN HIS REPUTATION.

Joshua Martinez.

PS YOU DID NOT HEAR THIS WHOLE THING FROM ME.|Chris thanking Josh for saving him $22.49 for a [[Nintendo]] Wii<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947</ref>}}

==Vanessa Hudgens==
[[Image:Joshua deceived me.jpg|thumb|Oh noes!]]

{{main|Vanessa Saga}}

In early [[2009]], Josh served as a sort of Eastern Front for the trolling war on Chris, as he impersonated Vanessa Hudgens.

The trolling culminated in Josh attempting to sell a special [[PSP]] to Chris intended for "Vanessa." He was foiled when trolls suspected that Josh was doing so for personal gain, and not simply for the [[lulz]]. Josh isn't exactly too bright either — see the [[Vanessa Saga]] chats for ample evidence of his limited imagination and clumsy attempts to manipulate Chris — and Chris's dalliances with Vanessa were also interfering with the success of [[Ivy]]. Josh's involvement ended and Chris canceled the check for the PSP according to Ivy's instructions, yet Chris refused to return it because "Vanessa would be upset." It was a knock-down, drag-out case of retard vs. retard.

Chris's parents are furious at Josh, and actually did go to the police in an attempt to bring him in for conning Chris out of his cash. However, during the exact same visit Bob and Barb found out that Chris was stealing money from them, prompting Bob to deny police assistance for fear that Chris could be implicated.

Josh has since stopped talking to Chris.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Martinez, Joshua}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Vanessa Saga]]

Mass debating

2011-10-05T13:28:39Z

Ash link:

{{Honest}}
{{Quote|I've actually done it to myself so many times, even with a hunk of- even with [[Kimmi|an inflatable plastic woman]] ''[...]'' I've done it so much, it's like, you know, I can't even feel that much of a rush from it, doing it to myself like that ''[...]'' It's like, you know, my body got used to it|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Democrats_mass_debate.jpg|thumb|right||Democratic Presidential Candidates mass debating correctly.]]
[[Image:CWCmassdebate.jpg|thumb|right||Chris doing it wrong.]]

'''Mass debating''' is the [[CWC-ism]] for the act of masturbation.

On Valentine's Day 2009, [[Bob Chandler|his father]] [[Bob Walks In|walked in]] on his son mass debating, leading to Chris's Internet being cut down.

==Discovery==
[[Image:ILikeToPlayGamesToo.jpg|right|thumb|Now, imagine Chris fapping.]]
Based on a PSN chat with [[PandaHalo]] and [[Chris_Chat_27_December_2008#Transcript|an IRC chat]], Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of sixteen:

{{quote|actually figured it out for myself, in my room one night after having unlocked the parental lock; I found the pool scene in "I Like to Play Games Too", and I just figured it out for myself.}}

When he first started mass debating, he did so by lying face down on his bed and rubbing his [[duck]] with a washcloth.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|BlueSpike PSN Chat III]]</ref> In early 2009 he would sit on the bathroom washbasin during the act.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3"/> In [[Ivy Q&A#Comics|Ivy's Q&A]] it was mentioned that Chris has used his pillow, folded in half, as a masturbation tool.

He has informed his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] of his "mass debating" habit.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3"/>

==Frequency==
{{quote|And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on his mass debating.<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997802418#The_Megan_Saga Chris's MySpace blog, via ED.]</ref>}}

While it is assumed by many that Chris has an uncontrolled sex drive and spends his days whacking it, the opposite is true. Rather, Chris has admitted to whacking off at least twice per week (based on chats{{cite}}, it seems that he limits it to twice). Possible factors for this include the fact that he has a bent [[duck]] which would make masturbation painful, in addition to a possibly low libido due to an unhealthy life style which may make it hard for him to maintain an erection. The sex audio with [[Julie]] seems to indicate that it takes Chris around twenty minutes to orgasm, which means that masturbation for Chris must be physically exhausting.

Chris also told [[Kacey]] that he has masturbated so much that it no longer brings him much pleasure. However, this may have been a misguided plea for pity sex.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>
==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris Sex Videos]]
*[[Semen]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[category:CWC-isms]]

Jason Kendrick Howell

2011-10-05T13:28:22Z

Ash link:

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

[[Image:Jason Kendrick Howell.jpg|thumb|Jason as he appears in [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]]]]

'''Jason Kendrick Howell''' is the original creator <ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Howellgames]</ref> of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|"Chris-chan" ED page]]. [[Chris]] wanted to call the [[jerkops]] on Howell for allegedly having sex with an [[BlueSpike|underage girl]], [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]]. (Spoiler: Howell never did have that underage sex.) Howell goes by [[Metal Gear Solid|"Liquid Snake"]] on [[4chan]]'s /v/. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|According to Chris]], he is also "the Dork of Ages", a phrase [[ripoffs|stolen]] from ''[[American Dad!]]''<ref>"[[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Wagons|Dungeons and Wagons]]"</ref>

==In real life==
[[File:Jasonhowell1.jpg|thumb|Jason wearing an eyepatch IRL.]]

After Chris discovered the [[ED]] page he had some e-mail correspondence with Jason, from which Chris got Jason's phone number.<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008#August]]</ref> Chris later used the phone number to find the city which Jason lived in, as well as tracing down his [[MySpace]] page, where he found [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] by looking at Jason's friend list. Chris made the assumption that Kathleen was Jason's girlfriend and Jason has had sex with her, which, combined with Kathleen's status as a seventeen-year-old, led to his accusation of Jason having underage sex. Chris also took note of the background image on Jason's MySpace page, and based Jason's appearance in the comic upon that picture.

After Jason's inclusion in [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]], Chris exchanged some more e-mails with him, but it soon came to a hold. About a year later Chris's [[Sonichu site]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash]]. Chris, assuming that Jason was behind the deed, responded by calling him and making the infamous "[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]" threat.

Jason eventually joined forces with [[Vivian]], recording his own voice for the [[Audiobooks]]. He also provided commentary for the [[Official Videobooks]], though he didn't so much comment on the videobooks so much as just ramble about the history of Chris with 4chan and ED.

==In ''Sonichu''==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason resembling [[Wikipedia:Big Boss (Metal Gear|Big Boss]] of the [[Metal Gear Solid|''Metal Gear'' series]].]]

Jason appears in ''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]'' in the episode, "[[Rage]] Against the Garbage", as the episode's primary antagonist. He appears to reside in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building on the 72nd floor (because 72 is 66+6. Get it? 666. Because he's evil [even though the actual [[Wikipedia:Number of the Beast|number of the Beast]] is 616]).

Jason wears a cloak most of the time, and also has an eyepatch, headband, and brown hair. The eyepatch, headband, and hair color sparked some curiosity and confusion amongst the [[trolls]], considering that it was almost a blatant reference to [[Wikipedia:Big Boss (Metal Gear|Big Boss]] of the [[Metal Gear Solid|''Metal Gear'' series]]. Some were worried that Chris had actually played ''MGS'', and was now ripping it off. However, it was revealed later by Jason himself that he actually sent Chris a photograph of himself wearing an eyepatch. (Jason also tried to send Chris the first disc of ''[[Wikipedia:Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence|Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence]]'', but due to Chris's mail paranoia at the time, it was returned to the sender.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LndR1s5jIRQ A Jason Retrospective, Part 3]</ref>)

[[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] confront Jason and [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] over the images featured on the website of Rosechu's TRUE and HONEST [[china|genitalia]]. After refusing to take down the website following Sonichu's shitty and meaningless speech, Sonichu attempts to fight Jason, only to have his furry ass kicked by Jason's "dark force" powers. Rosechu (as [[The Incredible Lioness]]) then face-rapes him nearly to death, but the "dark forces" keep him alive.

Later on in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Jason is seen talking with [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Beel]] and [[Clyde Cash]] on the "66+6" floor. He calls them all Gaywads and flies off with [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] at his side to his two-storey house in the suburbs.

In a [[Book10Replacement|video]] released 30 [[October 2010]], Chris presents a revised ending of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], in which he reveals that the couple broke up when Kathleen cheated on him with their secretary, and she later went to maximum security prison for smoking [[Tobacky|pot]], where she shares a cell with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Jason supposedly dies offscreen in a car crash.

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Jasonhowell 08-09-12.PNG
</gallery>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKW4XLBYYfs Sonichu! The Audiobook! 4-Cent Garbage Jason Edition!] by [[Vivian Gee]]
*A Jason Retrospective: Jason talks of his part in the trolling. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ISr7Fq7EPY Part 1], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY Part 2], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LndR1s5jIRQ Part 3], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG_ySvT2Qg4 Part 4], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umvpa89jZRU Part 5], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN2-41BQvqU Part 6 (5.2)]
*[http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/JKH_Interview An interview Jason gave on his relation with Chris] on [[ED]]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Howell, Jason Kendrick}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

Homos

2011-10-05T13:28:07Z

Ash link:

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)|[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
[[Image:What Chris thinks he looks like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a [[Tomgirl|gender change operation]]."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo". He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stuff like the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in prisons with female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10 March 2009]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

[[Image:Sonichuspore1.png|thumb|"ALL Sonichus are [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!"]]

In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", Chris's Mary Sue character, Terrah LeAnne Yowman, is called a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with guys all the time.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[The Creepy Stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a [[Christian Weston Chandler|Strong, Straight Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/08/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/#comment-241496</ref>

{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily.

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that "Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> Of course, it's not clear how gays can have "equal relationship rights" if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for "DA HOMOS". In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Why Chris appears to be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies.}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

Ironically, the harder Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the gayer he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|close-up picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[anime wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin' Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Punchylaylalove.jpg wearing panties and bra].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He [[Tomgirl|voluntarily dressed up as a woman]], went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public.

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref>

In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations." Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = It's OK to be GAY, Chris-chan!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32F2Dw01kJc}}
| Stardate = 5 August 2009
| Maker = CWCvillelulz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) Comes Clean...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
| Stardate = 5 January 2010
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[Tomgirl]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Sonichu's News Dash

2011-10-05T13:26:04Z

Ash link:

[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|thumb|300px|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT FACE GOD DAMN]]]]

{{quote|Well, it’s the end of another month, and I still don’t have a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Maybe my latest idea, the [[Sonichu]]’s News Dash! newsletter, will make the ladies take notice of me.|Chris, believing your own newsletter will attract women, 31 January 2004}}

'''''Sonichu's News Dash!''''' was a newsletter distributed by Chris from [[2004]]-[[2005|05]]. In the finest tradition of fringe kooks, conspiracy theorists, survivalist tree-dwellers and religious oddballs the world over, [[Chris]] once decided that printing up a newsletter would be the best way to attract [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free girls]]. ''Sonichu's News Dash!'' often contained [[poetry]], [[Dating education|dating advice]] (oh, the irony), and details on Chris's life and personal interests. It would always end with his description of his requirements for a [[sweetheart]], similar to what was printed on his [[Attraction Sign]].

Chris was scolded by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for passing out physical copies around the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] campus, which led him to bear a grudge against her for years afterward.

==The ''News Dash!'' Incident, in Chris's own words==
{{quote|Mary Lee Walsh made it illegal to distribute the News Dash; I AM [[Chris and anger|VERY ANGRY]] AT THAT XXXXX! In response, Iplan to incite the [[True and Loyal Fanbase|masses]], and hope they DEMAND the return the News Dash so my chances on [[love quest|getting a girlfriend]] can be restored. I have also declared WAR on them as well!|Chris, greatly overestimating his own power<ref>[[Other]]</ref>}}

==Highlights from the newsletter==
The ''News Dash!'' is a valuable source of information from the pre-trolling days, back when Chris was still stalking women in public places. Here's some tidbits from the ''News Dash!'':

===[[Sweetheart]] qualifications===
As the newsletter was primarily a platform to promote himself to women, every issue ended with this description of his ideal sweetheart:

=====Issues 1 & 2 =====
{{quotebox|Christian W. Chandler is 21 (22 as of [[2004#February|February 24, 2004]]) and single seeking a Single Female Companion of the following qualities:

*18-21 years of age (18-22 as of February 24, 2004). *[[Boyfriend-free girl|Does not already have a boyfriend]]. *Single. *Blonde or Brunette *[[Obesity|Average or Slender body type]]. *Does NOT [[tobacky|smoke]] and/or drink [[alcohol]]. *5’ or taller. *Lives in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] area. *[[Chris and race|White]]. *[[Chris and money|Average to High income]]. *Drives a [[Son-Chu|vehicle]]. *Happy, [[Death threats|Positive Personality]]. *A [[Mom|Caring girl]].

*Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No [[E-Mails]] or [[Prank calls|Phone Calls]]). So if you are interested, he can be found around [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], or [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; [[autism|he will not be able to notice]]. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu Medallion]].}}

====Issue 3 & 4====
{{quotebox|Christian W. Chandler is 22 and single seeking a Single Female Companion of the following qualities:
*18-22 years of age. *Does not already have a boyfriend. *Single. *Blonde or Brunette *[[Obesity|Average or Slender body type]]. *Does NOT [[tobacky|smoke]] and/or drink [[alcohol]]. *5’ or taller. *Lives in [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area. *[[Chris and race|White]]. *[[Chris and money|Average to High income]]. *Drives [[Son-Chu|a vehicle]]. *Happy, Positive Personality. *A Caring girl.
*Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], or [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; he will not be able to notice. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the Sonichu Medallion. }}

====Issue 5-10====
''Same as Issues 3 and 4, but with a link to his [[Match.com]] profile.''

===On the hiatus of the ''News Dash!''===
{{quotebox|We here at Sonichu’s News Dash apologize for not writing up issues during the summer months, but the head chief of staff, Christian Weston Chandler, was in a Very Lonesome slump. And he was recently Soul and [[Heart level|Heart-Shattered]] by a bunch of [[Jerk Cops]] at the Fashion Square shopping center, and by the female dog, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], at Piedmont Virginia Community College. These people did not agree with his sound methods of attracting an 18-(his current age) Boyfriend-Free woman. But after a stroll through the lovely and serene campus at the [[University of Virginia]], he regained some peace within himself. And so, while he is still journeying through his [[Love Quest]], the News Dash will run Bi-Monthly, but with more general articles of interest. Thank you for your patience.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews5.htm Sonichu's News Dash #5]</ref>}}

===A Very Special Holiday Chris-chan===
{{quotebox|The Christmas season is upon us, and with that comes the rush for the [[C-Mas]] Turkey, Tree (real or artificial), and of course, the presents. So, [[Sonichu]] and the News Dash have some helpful tips to give a better feel of the season to all.

• If your children, or spouse, want some [[video games]], but no [[toys]], buy some toys anyway, they will be surprised. We recommend any of [[Lego]] sets, [[Transformers]] and [[Kimmi|Dolls]]. 
• Wrap the presents anyway, because they always want to rip up the wrapping paper like a candy bar. 
• Always remember that Christmas is the celebration of family, so [[Cole Smithey|never leave out any relatives]] from your festivities. 
• If you do not have a family, then find a friend to share C-Mas with <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/sonichu/SchusNews6.htm</ref>. }}
 
{{quotebox|While all have families, so does he. While all men have Girlfriends, this man does not, and he is very depressed about it. “Since Agust, [[2003]],” Christian Weston Chandler said, “I’ve been trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free, 18-22-year old girl.” His methods were sound and well-thought; [[Attraction sign|simple signs]], [[Chris and fashion|looking cool]], and “chilling” in [[List of places that have banned Chris|the most social places]]. His one fault, that has restricted him from finding the Ms. Right, he had a major case of [[Noviophobia]], where he is afraid to even approach most ladies, because he thought that they were all already paired up with “[[JERKS|A Jerk]].” His thoughts are sound as the [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|Boyfriend Factor]] is so high, it leaves him with no pretty ladies to choose from. So, if there are any pretty ladies without a…Boyfriend, you can find this lonesome [[CWC "Boyfriend"|prince]] hanging at the [[Fashion Square mall]] Saturday afternoons, in front of Ambercrombie & Fitch. Don’t let his friendly smile fool you; he is hurting inside. Please help Chris have a Happy Holiday.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews6.htm</ref>}}
 
{{quotebox|[[Mary Lee Walsh|Hslaw Eel Yram]], who previously shattered hearts and souls, is handing out presents at [[CWCville|Cwcville’s]] Christmas Tree lighting? Odd, but true, and when interviewed, she had this to say, “After three months in prison, I became rehabilitated and more happy to give joy to those I’ve hurt.” Then we asked her about her oldest victim, Christian Chandler, she said, “I plan to give him a surprise on Christmas Eve, a heart-felt apology.” Well, I guess we’ll see if she will be true to her word on the night before Christmas.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews6.htm</ref>}}

===Prelude to [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]===
{{quotebox|[[Sonichu]]'s father, [[Christian Chandler]], is working on a [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic book]]. It will be hand-drawn, as [[Asperchu|most comics]] are. And it will feature “Sonichu’s Origin,” the “Genesis of the Lovehogs,” and “Sonichu’s First Big Battle.” It will also include exclusive introductory content into Chris’s world, as well as Sonichu’s world. Chris said that his target date is before [[2005#June|June, 2005]], the month of the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] Convention in Richmond, VA; he plans to be there. So, if you’ve been a Sonichu fan up to then, come find him at the convention, and he will be happy to share the hand-drawn stories of Sonichu!

<nowiki>*</nowiki>Sonichu cover provided by Author, Christian Weston Chandler.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews6.htm</ref>}}

===Chris's dating tips===
{{quote|Most importantly, DO NOT RUSH Her. You do not want her to feel pressured into a relationship, because then she’ll dump you faster than Sonichu running a mile. Give her time; it’s not like you all are going to get married right away, it never is. |Chris, preaching what he never practices}}

{{quotebox|Take it from the lonesome man in [[Virginia]] who has been trying to find a Boyfriend-Free girl for over One year and Five months, with the Boyfriend Factor being infinitely high, all you lonesome saps have to summon up courage, or you won’t be able to get [[China|anywhere]]. So here are some tips from me, as well as noted givers of the 411:

* (CWC) When a girl does acknowledge your existence, rather by a simple wave, or as extreme as a hug, forget the Boyfriend-Factor, summon your courage and talk to her. And be sure to ask her if she does have a Boyfriend.
* (CWC) If she does have a Boyfriend, keep her name in mind, because she could help you hook up with a pretty Boyfriend-Free girl in the future.
* ([[Wikipedia:John Tesh|John Tesh]]) If you want to give her a gift right off the bat, give, or send, her a bouquet of flowers, other than the clichéd Roses, and no more. You’ll have plenty of time in the future to give her more.
* (John Tesh) The right time to give her a gift, during your date, is during, of after, desert [''sic''] (especially if you made the desert [''sic''] for her yourself).
* (CWC) If you are meeting her for the first time, just keep a cool head, and be yourself. But if you want a quick list of what to do, here’s my list, courtesy of the [[Sprung]] game for the [[Nintendo]] DS:
* Introduce yourself: try to [[The Creepy Stare|look serious]] on your face; do not [[Fangs|smile big]], and do not use a [[Speech impediment|forceful voice tone]].
* Compliment her: on her [[hair]] or [[eyes]].
* Break the Ice with a [[Christian's sex joke|joke]]: try not to use an [[Twin Falling Towers|offensive joke]]. Or, you can do what I do, if you can, just imitate good ol’ [[Donald Duck]]. Quack! Quack!
* (Depending on the situation), offer to buy her a [[CWC Cola|drink]], or comment on a topic of interest (such as the [[Lovely Weather|weather]]).
* Ask for her name: make it sound kind and fun. For example, you can say, “[[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|Do angels like you have names]]?” If she is offended by that, apologize and say that you thought it was a kind way of asking her name. <ref>Fun fact: Chris used this with [[Anna]] in [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]]</ref>
* (I’d add this step) Ask her about herself: where her family [[Molvania|came from]], [[Mary Poppins|favorite movie]] or [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|color]], and other [[Honest Content|fun basic things]] like that. And try to make the conversation fun, because the more fun she has with you, the more likely you are to get her phone number.
* Ask for her phone number: if she does not give it to you now, just give her time, and just hang with her, and she’ll give it to you.
* Ask her for a date: make it immediate, like after work or school. An immediate date shows real interest, or desperation.
*(CWC) Most importantly, DO NOT RUSH Her. You do not want her to feel pressured into a relationship, because then she’ll dump you faster than Sonichu [[Sonichu's Edge|running a mile]]. Give her time; it’s not like you all are going to get married right away, it never is.
* (John Tesh) Your date is very important. If you take her to a party, then you probably feel like you need the support of your friends in front of your girlfriend. If you take her to a movie, you are likely to want her to yourself, and sneak a smooch in the dark. But if you take her to dinner, then you are showing real interest, because you are most able to converse over a [[McDonald's|good meal]].
* (John Tesh) When you want to watch a movie with her, you should pick a romance flick. Since you and she are less likely to feel romantic during any other movie category, like action or horror. And hey, she will most appreciate the love you show by sharing the chick flick, because it shows that you care about her feelings<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews7.htm</ref>.}}

===Sonichu goes to the [[University of Virginia]] library===
{{quotebox|After hanging at Fashion Square and PVCC, [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]], decided to give the University of Virginia a try. He found the campus grounds serene and peaceful with its history, scenery and plenty of grass to rest on. He found himself [[Honor roll|educated]] within the libraries’ many books, and made like he was in Paris with the outdoor tables and chairs. And the “Corner” stores had an interesting selection of items from pencil sets to [[DVD]]s. He gave the UVA 5/5 Lightning Bolts of approval. Thank you UVA, for a very peaceful place to chill at in the city of Charlottesville<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/sonichu/SchusNews5.htm</ref>.}}

===Prelude to [[Silvana]]===
{{quotebox|Recently, a black [[Rosechu]] came down from outer space in a fashionable space ship. She came down onto our Earth wreaking havoc by abducting the Sonichu Heroes. But in conjunction with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], the Rosechus of Earth rescued all of them. In an interview with [[Magi-Chan]] Sonichu, he said, “I’ve been communicating with her through telekinesis, and she sounded very lonesome. She said that she was a female [[Pikachu]] who was hit by a shining light from the Chaos [[Rainbow]].” The Chaos Rainbow was the rainbow made when Super Sonic collided with the Pikachu, on that fateful day in Station Square years ago. And when interviewed, the black Rosechu, who named herself, Silvana, she stated, “I abducted the Sonichus, because it was very lonesome on the moon, there were NO aliens there at all. And when I communicated with Magi-Chan, I was inspired to build my spacecraft with the remains of the shuttle that put me there in the first place." <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews7.htm</ref>}}

===Chris's letter on ''[[Sprung]]''===
{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have sent an E-Mail to [[Nintendo Power]]’s “Players’ Pulse” section on January 9, 2005, in response to Nintendo DS’s Sprung game (scanned pages shown above). After receiving my copy of the April, 2005 issue, I was pleasantly surprised to find my E-Mail printed in the “Players’ Pulse” section, with the screen shot (shown to the bottom-right), which I find very appropriate to my current situation. The girl on top says, “YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE MY BOYFRIEND KICKS YOUR ***!” Although, there are a couple of fixes to mend in their print out: the fear I was referring to should be “[[Noviophobia|NOVIOPHOBIA]],” not “NOIOPHOBIA.” Also, since February 24, 2005, I am now 23-years old, and I am looking for an 18-23-year old, Boyfiend-Free, Datable Girl whom I can love and trust. Also, a little time after using the teachings of Sprung, my fear came back like a boomerang<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>.}}

===Chris's 23rd Birthday===
{{quotebox|Christian Chandler had originally planned to have his party on Thursday, February 24, but then it got snowed out, so it was changed to Saturday, February 26. His party was located at the Fashion Square Shopping Center in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]], by the tree between Abercrombie & Fitch and Pacific Sunwear. A couple of his new-found gal-pals, who all already have Boyfriends, or are otherwise undatable, due to her [[religion]], came by to his party and have partaken in the lovely cake and [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|Mello Yello]] soda pop. They also gave him a very nice present too. His parents were also there, with a present as well, and they told a couple of interesting stories of Christian. Christian, his parents, and his friends, all had a good time, which makes up for Christian’s snowed out 23rd Birthday.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref> }}

===Completion of ''Sonichu'' #0===
{{quotebox|Yes, Sonichu fans, the Premiere Hand-Drawn issue of the Sonichu Comic Book has been completed. The project was started with the Cover drawing (see issue #6 of the News Dash for the previous information) back on November 24, [[2004]], and since then, with [[Things Chris has ripped off|random inspiration]] and [[Video games|too many breaks]], the book was completed on March 15, [[2005]]. The Comic includes the first 3 Episodes of our heroic Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu, classic strips drawn before the Comic project and two “Advertisements” for possible future games ([[Miyamoto Saga|at least in Christian W. Chandler’s dreams]]). CWC said, “Well, it took a long time, all things considered, but I feel that this Comic is my best work yet. I have also recently made a Sub-Episode that, one may say, started right after the Epilogue in Episode 3; it will be placed exclusively on the Sonichu Site for the fans to see. Also, I’m thinking about a Premiere Issue #1 featuring the story of how [[Black Sonichu]] was created, as well as how [[Sonichu]] and [[Sonic]] the Hedgehog “formally” met. 8) I’ll keep you up to date as I am inspired; until then, keep on “Zappin’ to the Extreme!” On the Sonichu Site, there will be two ways to access the Comic: through a link on the front page, or click on the Back Cover image (shown below) in this issue of the News Dash<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews9.htm</ref>.}}

===Chris at some [[anime]] cons===
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Chris meeting Monica Rial]]

{{quotebox|On May 29, 2004, I, Christian Chandler, attended my first Anime Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some [[Wikipedia:Ramune|Ramune]] (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]] (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki ([[Wikipedia:Steel Angel Kurumi|Steel Angel Kurumi]]), Mikako ([[Wikipedia:Martian Successor Nadesico|Martian Sucessor Nadesico]] [''sic'']) and Shii ([[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews5.htm</ref> }}
 
{{quotebox|(So to speak) Christian Chandler plans to attend the Anime Mid Atlantic Convention in Richmond, Virginia on all three days (June 17-19, 2005). Since he has put himself into [[Sonichu]]’s world, he will “[[Cosplay]]” as himself ([[Chris and his Ego|talk about self-respect]], huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one. 
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, [[Wikipedia:Greg Ayers|Greg Ayers]] and [[Wikipedia:Doug Smith|Doug Smith]], and author [[Wikipedia:Robert V. Aldrich|Robert V. Aldrich]]. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see News Dash issue #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell [[Anime Wings|Cool Anime items]] (some imported from Japan), and much, much more. To learn more about the Anime Mid-Atlantic convention, regrestration, and where in Richmond, Virginia it is located, visit the website at http://www.animemidatlantic.com<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews9.htm</ref>. }}

===Chris on PowerWeb ("Why PowerWeb STINKS on Ice")===
{{quotebox|
# It is FORCED as the ONLY way to enroll into PVCC.
# There is no alternative to enrolling, because they took away the original registration forms.
# It’s NOT user-friendly.
# It was not designed for the [[CADD|computer illiterate]].
# It’s very unethical.
# There is [[Autism|no person-to-person contact]].
# High risk of lost connection while [[Honor roll|figuring it out]].
# Much LONGER waiting time.
# It’s too much trouble to deal with.
# It had too much advertising to give a darn.
}}

==Sources==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//newdash.htm ''Sonichu's News Dash!'' archive]
{{Writings}}
[[Category:Media produced by Chris-chan]]

Power Rangers

2011-10-05T13:25:46Z

Ash link:

'''''Power Rangers''''' is the name of the franchise spanning nearly two decades that adapted the Japanese [[Wikipedia:tokusatsu|tokusatsu]] ''[[Wikipedia:Super Sentai|Super Sentai]]'' series for Western viewers. The show centers around a team of teenagers / young adults, armed with sophisticated weaponry and gadgets, giant machines that combine into even bigger machines, and wear brightly-colored spandex while fighting monstrous aliens. It was a smash hit when it first aired in the early [[1990's]], and while most of the children who enjoyed the original series have long since grown up, new seasons continue to be produced.

And just like everything else, [[Chris]] got his grubby little hands on them.

== Power Rangers and Chris ==

Not much is known about how much Chris enjoyed the Power Rangers franchise, though it is known that Chris prefers the original ''[[Wikipedia:Mighty Morphin Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin Power Rangers]]''. However, he seems less fond of the newer series...

{{quote|REVIVE ZORDON AND GET THE POWER RANGERS BACK TOGETHER, WHICH WAS MOST AWESOME!!! (COMPARED TO TODAY'S C***PY "POWER RANGERS")|Excerpt from the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] single "[[Revive Zordon]]", as depicted in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}

Chris is likely either [[naïve|unaware]] that [[Wikipedia:Thuy Trang|Thuy Trang]], the actress who played Trini, the Yellow Ranger, died tragically in [[2001]]; that, or he is simply [[Patti Chandler|in denial about it]]. Either way, it renders such a reunion a complete impossibility. As well, a few of the actors, notably [[Wikipedia:Amy Jo Johnson|Amy Jo Johnson]] (who played Kimberly, the Pink Ranger, and can now be seen on ''[[Wikipedia:Flashpoint_(TV_series)|Flashpoint]]'' on CBS<ref>http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0102568/</ref>) and [[Wikipedia:David Yost|David Yost]] (who played Billy, the Blue Ranger, and whom recently [[homos|came out of the closet]]) regret ever being in the series in the first place. Kimberly included, a number of them have moved on to greater things — including [[Wikipedia:Jason David Frank|Jason David Frank]] (who portrayed Tommy Oliver, the Green/White Ranger) joining the [[CWC Fighter|Mixed Martial Arts]] circuit, and [[Wikipedia:Johnny Yong Bosch|Johnny Yong Bosch]] (who portrayed Adam Park, the Black Ranger) becoming a well-known anime voice actor, voicing famous characters such as [[Wikipedia:Trigun|''Trigun'']]'s Vash the Stampede, [[Wikipedia:Akira (series)|''Akira'']]'s Kaneda and [[Wikipedia:Code Geass|''Code Geass'']]'s Lelouch.

On [[The Wall of Originals]], two hand-made Trainer cards are devoted to the series. The first is a card devoted to [[Wikipedia:Bulk and Skull|Bulk and Skull]], the two [[Trolls|dimwitted bullies]] from the original series.<ref>[[:Image:379-Bulk.jpg]]</ref> The second is a [[Sonichu]] Zord, predating the existence of [[Son-Chu]] by at least nine years. It seems that Chris attempted to make this Sonichu Zord like the popular [[Wikipedia:Zords_in_Mighty_Morphin_Power_Rangers#Tigerzord|Tigerzord]], but it comes off hideously. Chris depicts Sonichu's head on its chest, with a dull gray robot head popping up in the first head's place, and its tail being used as a sword.<ref>[[:Image:224-SchuZord.jpg]]</ref> Needless to say, it [[fail]]s horribly.

== Power Rangers in ''Sonichu'' ==
[[Image:KartMegazord.jpg|thumb|right|The Kart Megazord - seriously, what the hell?]]
In the [[CWCipedia]]'s article on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], it is mentioned that Chris was once a member of a Power Rangers team, despite the fact that all the other teams have been from California or outer space. In fact, [[Ego|he was the team's leader!]]

It doesn't mention who he fought or what he fought or even what powers he used, but it is said he piloted a go-kart (?) that was "sleek like an [[Wikipedia:Star Fox (series)#Arwing|Arwing]]" and was the head of the so-called Kart Megazord. Sadly (for our sake), Chris disbanded the team before his graduation, but soon installed a new, younger team to take the reins. Where the team is and what they're doing and which female members are currently "non-boyfriend-free" are unknown<ref>[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>.

(As an interesting aside, Chris pretty much ripped off the go-kart vehicles, the "Kart Megazord" and the graduation disbanding and reforming from one of the earlier seasons of the TV show, namely ''[[Wikipedia:Power Rangers Turbo|Power Rangers Turbo]]'', the American version of ''[[Wikipedia:Gekisou Sentai Carranger|Gekisou Sentai Carranger]]''.)

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Allison Amber]] calls in the Power Rangers to fend off an attack by [[Slaweel Ryam]] (or possibly [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]]). The next panel depicts several people rushing off in ridiculous-looking cars. If these are indeed the Power Rangers, they have yet to be seen again.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_43 Sonichu 9 p.43]</ref> Near the end of the story, the Kart Megazord makes an appearance, with [[Magi-Chan]] telling Sonichu and Rosechu that the team, now known as the CWC-Power Rangers, used their Megazord to defeat the giant [[B-Manajerk]] and the [[Merried Seinor Comic]]. <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_92 Sonichu 9 p.92]</ref>

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], to drive those inside the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Tower out, Chris and the Hedgehog Boys play a song entitled "[[Revive Zordon]]". This [[Chris and music|excellent]] song (which is sung to the tune of [[Wikipedia:Ted Nugent|Ted Nugent]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Cat Scratch Fever (song)|Cat Scratch Fever]]", of all things) features lyrics written by Christian himself. In it, the band laments that the character [[Wikipedia:Zordon|Zordon]] was killed off at the very end of ''[[Wikipedia:Power Rangers in Space|Power Rangers in Space]]'', and demands that he be brought back. The song also serves as a rant against "today's c***py 'Power Rangers'".

Interestingly enough, a few of Chris's other creations seem to derive themselves from various Power Ranger-based villains. The design of [[Samurai Pizza Bots]] character Excelina seems to be cribbed from [[Wikipedia:Machine Empire#Princess Archerina|Princess Archerina]], a minor villain from ''[[Wikipedia:Power Rangers Zeo|Power Rangers Zeo]]''. The most surprising is that [[Silvana]]'s design and origin is ripped off from [[Wikipedia:Karone|Karone/Astronema]], a major villain in ''Power Rangers in Space'' who ended up becoming a Ranger herself in ''[[Wikipedia:Power Rangers Lost Galaxy|Power Rangers Lost Galaxy]]''.

== Sources ==
<references />

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Toys]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Monthly tugboat

2011-10-05T13:24:28Z

Ash link:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|'''[[Jackie]]:''' that doesnt make sense. why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
'''Chris:''' he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. I don't know. 
'''Jackie:''' thats not my understanding of how God works|From [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]].}}

{{quote|Notice how the lilies grow. They don’t wear themselves out with work, and they don’t spin cloth. But I say to you that even Solomon in all his splendor wasn’t dressed like one of these. If God dresses grass in the field so beautifully, even though it’s alive today and tomorrow it’s thrown into the furnace, how much more will God do for you, you people of weak faith!| Bible (Luke 12:27-29) on Chris and his tugboat}}

[[Image:Monthly_Tugboat.jpg|thumb|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWCism|euphemism]] for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.<ref>[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]</ref> Essentially, the U.S. government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments affect their ability to earn a living wage. Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check isn't a need-based welfare check, nor is it meant to replace a paycheck for someone who is unable to work. Chris's disability check is meant to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job (the best he could hold down) and provide him enough money to live on his own{{cite}}. Chris, of course, chooses not to work and mooches off his parents instead, blowing his tugboat on [[video games]]. Unfortunately, this doesn't disqualify him from receiving disability.

Currently, Chris receives $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref> The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], junk food, or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> at the end of one month he had less than three dollars left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red.

Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded "tugboat", because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.<ref>[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]</ref> This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].

Another thing to take into consideration is that while Chris spends a chunk of his social security on American products like McDonald's, Chris spends most of his social security on video games. The problem is his game systems; [[PSP|Sony PSP]], [[Wii|Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii]], and [[PS3|Sony PS3]], are Japan based companies. Yes, these companies have American bases and a very small amount is produced in the U.S., but the majority is produced, developed and imported from Japan. So the money he spends goes to the retailer, which goes to the employees wages and fixed costs of the retailer's expenses that keep it functioning, which will be possibly be spent in America thus be put into the U.S. economy, the rest will given to the foreign company's employees and fixed costs that keep ''them'' functioning, which will be spent in Japan, thus being put back into Japan's economy. However, if Chris was an [[Hexbox|Xbox]] consumer, the majority of it would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft's Xbox is a U.S. based company, with a majority of its products being developed and manufactured in the U.S. and a large majority of it employees being Americans. In the same way buying a car from American brands like GM, Ford, and Chrysler, stimulates the U.S. economy, and buying a foreign car like Honda, BMW, and Kia, doesn't and stimulates ''their'' foreign economies, Chris could help the economy by getting over his irrational hatred of Xbox.

[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|This is true.]]

On the advice of [[Bob Chandler|his father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob is totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents.

Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|SSDI]] beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was eighteen, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of their SSDI payments.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligence, ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total [[fail]]ure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. His enabling has caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake china]], [[My Little Pony|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].

If Bob's motivation comes from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he keeps unleashing him to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].

In the [[Father Call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous shit rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Kacey's father what he thought he wanted to hear.

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his eighties, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from the American taxpayer. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and Health|extremely unlikely]] that he will live anywhere near that long.

With the recent US economic downturn and debates over the debt limit, President Obama has [http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/178777/20110712/debt-deal-debt-ceiling-obama-social-security-republicans-democrats.htm directly threatened Social Security checks]. Chris is blissfully unaware of the looming threat to his way of life.

==References by Chris==
* The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
* An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]] shine a light on the origin of the term:
{{quote|it's a [[Random-access humor|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink.]] and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Things Chris has ripped off|creative]] [[Autism|thinking]]. :)|Chris, demonstrating mastery of metaphor, naval engineering, and analogy.}}

In one of the [[Jackie_Chat_7|Jackie chat logs]], he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:

[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded... 
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval. 
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ??? 
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then? 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. 
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know. 
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works
{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day"|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica

2011-10-05T13:24:13Z

Ash link:

Within days of the creation of the [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-chan]] article on '''[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''', [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was aware of its existence due to his frequent ego-searches for himself and [[Sonichu]]. Chris obviously paid close attention to the page from the beginning, but he managed to resist the temptation to make his own changes to the article for nearly a week before plunging in with dozens of attempts to make himself look good on the page or convince [[ED]] to leave him alone.

Ironically, virtually every embarrassing detail we now know about Chris, outside of his [[YouTube]] videos and his Sonichu website, was first presented to ED ''by himself'', in these edits.

Chris's rationale was "TMI-Input-To-Overload-Their-Minds-And-STOP,"<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#The_E.D._Webpage]]</ref> believing that if he told [[troll]]s details about how pathetic his life is, they would feel sorry for him or be too freaked out to do anything. Of course, being the [[Internet]], it only made the trolls want to troll him even more, and is analogous to a child telling his bullies not to beat him up because he still wets the bed - it has a totally negative effect.

{{TOC limit|limit=2}}

==Known ED sockpuppets==

Chris used numerous sockpuppet accounts to avoid drawing undue attention upon himself. This didn't work because each of these socks were easily identified as Chris, since they were the only users on the entire site who cared enough about him to defend him. Also, most of these socks identified themselves in their edits as being Christian Weston Chandler, so that was a big clue.

* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Reldnahc Reldnahc]</s> (active 10 Nov 2007 - 10 Jan 2008; 14 Aug 2008 - 12 Sep 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Chris-chan Chris-chan]</s> (active 30 Dec 2007)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Denilah Denilah]</s> (active 19 Jan 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Clyde Clyde]</s> (active 21 Jan 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Glith Glith]</s> (active 25 Jan 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltbunn Waltbunn]</s> (active 26 Jan 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltermelon Waltermelon]</s> (active 12 Mar 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Christian-Weston-Chandler Christian-Weston-Chandler]</s> (active 15 Mar 2008 - 21 Mar 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/SAVE_CHRIS_CHAN SAVE CHRIS CHAN]</s> (active 7 Aug 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Jamplerf Jamplerf]</s> (active 14 Aug 2008)
==Edit details==
===10 November===

'''From 1:10-2:28am EST (06:10-07:28 GMT), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* See edits <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465 here]</s>
* First attempt to sanitize the article, removing words he doesn't like ("retarded," "scary") and changing others ("racist" to "Old-Fashioned").
* Removes a thumbnail of Goatse from his article. This was his very first edit, so it looks like he was trying to resist getting involved but Goatse crossed the line.
* Changes "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|MASTURBATIN' AND SQUIRTIN']]" rainbow pyramid to read "DIVINE RETRIBUTION", then to "[[Mass debating|MASTURBATE]]" with the added note "Every Person is Doing it!!" Later adds: "Aahhhhhhhh...Relief... :)"
* Changes comment about the medallion being bloody awful and made of clay to being good and made of "crayola model magic." (This is how we first learned what the hell the medal is made of.)
* Changes references to the [[the Tale of the Crazy Pacer|Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] to place the incident in 2004 (at age 22) instead of 2006 (at age 24). ED was going by the date Anna posted the blog entry; Chris seems to be referring to when the incident actually happened.
* Edits a section on him being racist to read:
{{quote|Oh yeah, he's also Old Fashioned. In his idea of a Sweetheart, she is not Black. He is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|blood, tears and semenal descent.]]}}
* Changes a paragraph asking why he wears the medallion to effectively answer the question:
{{quote|Why does he insists on wearing? It identifies him for the high-funcioning Autistic individual that he is. It's speculated it may give him some [[Anchuent Prophecy|secret]] [[Chris-chan Sonichu|power]]. Like Psychic Powers and Quick-Play Speed.}}
* Changes a sentence mocking the way he says [[tobacky]] to explain why he said it:
{{quote|He also talks about how he wants to take every ounce of "tobacky"(said that way, because he felt uncomfortable saying the actual fucking word) and shoot it to the moon.}}
* Changes this paragraph:
{{quote|He also calls being gay a vice, and cites Dr. Kinsey. I don't know what Dr. Kinsey he's talking about, but the only famous Dr. Kinsey I know contradicts everything he just said. But yet again, a 25 year old virgin knows all about love.}}
: To the following:
{{quote|He also calls being gay VICE, and cites Dr. Kinsey. The only famous Dr. Kinsey I know agreed with everything he just said (Rent the Kinsey movie "R" rated or Unrated from your local movie store). But yet again, a 25 year old virgin knows all about love, especially after fucking a plastic woman full of his hot air now and then.}}
* Corrects description of his portrayal of Mary Lee Walsh to: "Grey-Haired Witch with a shoddy Devil-Style Viking Helmit" (It remains a common misconception that MLW's golden, horned helmet is blonde hair with protruding devil horns.)
* Informs us that "Resources found that Mary has obtained a copy of the "CWC On TV" DVD from her pawn, Susan Hannifan."
* Adds a link to veoh.com: "The Ignored Veoh.com, with all the free porn to download at 5kbits a second"
* Changes the caption of fan art depicting him with the sign to say "The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he could ever fucking think of"

At 7:28 p.m. EST (00:28 GMT, 11 Nov), Chris makes this edit:

* More general sanitizing, changing the captions of the images to be more pro-CWC. This edit would be reverted just 90 minutes later, but the earlier edits would get left in the article for some time.

===11 November===

'''Between 11:40 p.m. EST, 10 Nov and 12:42 a.m. EST 11 Nov (04:41-05:12 GMT 11 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* See edits <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 here]</s>

* As Chris's edits get larger, he uses some sort of sub-par text editor that adds unnecessary line breaks, screwing up ED's line-by-line comparison, which makes it harder to tell what he's added.

[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|right|"Come and lick my pussy, my [[Jerkop]] slave."]]
* Uploads the following pictures:
:*[[:File:HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG|Hedgehogs in FLuv.JPG]] - the Sonichu/Rosechu sex picture later used in Sonichu 8.
:*[[:File:MaryWantsIt.JPG|Mary Wants It.JPG]] - Mary Lee nude, beckoning her Jerkop slave to pleasure her.
:*[[:File:BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG|Bubbles and Black Sonichu.JPG]] - Bubbles riding cowgirl on Black Sonichu at the beach.
:*[[:File:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|Angelica in God's Eyes.JPG]] - Angelica masturbating in her bedroom.
:* [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] - Christian fingering Megan.
:*[[:File:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg]] - The kiss scene from Sonichu 0.
:* HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG - duplicate Sonichu/Rosechu picture.
:* BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG - Duplicate Bubbles/Blachu picture.
:* AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG - Duplicate Angelica picture.
:* She came for CWC2.JPG - Duplicate Chris/Megan picture.

* Adds some of these images to the gallery, with captions:

:* SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg "Sonichu and Rosechu's First Kiss"
:* HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG "Sonichu and Rosechu's First Fuck-a-Thon"
:* BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG "Bubbles...and Black Sonichu?!!!"
:* AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG "FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of God?!!"
:* ShecameforCWC.JPG "Your sister has cum for me"
:* MaryWantsIt.JPG [no caption]

* Chris trying to play off the girl he's fingering in the picture as "''your'' sister" almost certainly fueled the assumption that she was actually ''Christian's'' (imaginary) sister Crystal.

* Puts the rainbow pyramid back and has it read "WOMEN MASTURBATING" with the note "Why not? Everybody's Doing it. Hmm...Awesomely Relieving and Visually Appealing."

* He adds several lengthy, revealing sections about himself:

:* He implies that he masturbates to [[Excel Saga]].
:* [[Random-access_humor#Random Ramblings|Random Ramblings]], apparently meant to show [[lie|he's funny]].
:* Lyrics for [[So Need a Cute Girl]]
:* His shitty [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]]
:* And his addiction to soda:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>===THE SODA JERK===</nowiki> 

YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from Coca-Cola to Pepsi to Powerade. I have a lot of stored caffeene in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking [[biological clock]] as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty. BIG REASON I need a Sweetheart, so she can help me back on track towards getting back to the morning hours that I used to have during my High School years. Fucking [[Adult Swim]](tm) and random projects keep me up all night as well.</blockquote>
'''At 1:55 p.m. EST (18:58 GMT), Chris made the following edits:'''
* Some of his previous updates have been undone, so he's back to put them in again. Amazingly, somebody from [[ED]] actually ''took out'' the Rule 34 pictures. ([[Reldnahc]]'s identity as Christian appears to be unrealized at this point; perhaps nobody thought CWC would actually show his face on the site.) More amazingly, Chris ''put them back in'', so he made the same dumb mistake ''twice''.

===12 November===

'''Between 10:05 p.m. EST, 11 Nov and 12:20 a.m. EST, 12 Nov (03:06-05:19 GMT 12 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Removes thumbnails of fan art of himself having sex with Sonichu, of Rosechu as a she-male having sex with Sonichu, and of himself with his penis hanging out of his pants.
* Puts his "Random Ramblings" from November 11 back on the article, with added random access humor.
* Adds several new sections:
:* [[Saddest heart in the world (poem)|CWC's ''Saddest Heart in the World'' Poem]], apparently intended to draw sympathy. (Spoiler: It didn't work.)
:* Excerpts from his [[CWC's Diary|diary]], perhaps to show he can laugh with us at us.
:* An update on Megan:
<blockquote>
<nowiki>===What happened to Sailor Megtune?===</nowiki> 
"Yes, while I did have a crush on Megan for like a couple of years since I started playing Yu-Gi-Oh, she was rejectful of romance. In August, [[2007]] after the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest, she sent me an e-mail that fucked the shit out of my heart.

It hurt so fucking much, it took me weeks to recover. But I eventually did, and I am, and have been since about mid-September, in a well-sound state of mind. So I had to go back to my fucking lonesome and damn enduring Sweetheart Search.
<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[sigh]]* The things I would do for TRUE LOVE and my future daughter.
</blockquote>

:* Information about his work in Guitar Hero:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>===Christian Weston Chandler...Guiter Hero of Cwcville===</nowiki> 

"I rocked it hard February 3, 2007 at the Gamestop by Forest Lakes. It was close, but thanks to my HARDCORE months of

practice, I CONQURED!!! ''[[Wikipedia: Free Bird|Freebird]]'' on Expert was awfully tough, but I scored highest above my opponent in the Final Round

with that song. I won a cool T-Shirt."

"I also watched the new [[Guitar Hero]] episode of ''[[South Park]]'' November 7, [[2007]]; it was awesomely hilarious. Apparently the creators had a big thing for ''[[Wikipedia:Carry On, My Wayward Son|Carry On Wayward Son]]''; I don't blame them, except for waiting through the intro lyrics, it is a fuckin' awesome song. Although Boston's ''More Than A Feeling'' is the World's Greatest Song, hands down. Thank you, Aqua Teens for agreeing on that."
</blockquote>
:* Pictures and thoughts on his [[Officer Nasty]] doll. (The pictures somehow don't make it onto ED; that's okay because he's tricked into providing them again later.)
<blockquote>
<nowiki>===Cheese it, the cops!!===
[[Image:1000650.JPG|thumb|Nah, it's just my artificial woman in her plastic blue outfit. Awesome to fuck, and the cleaning maintance is simple. She'll only last until she has her internal injury.]]
[[Image:1000651.JPG|thumb|Yeah... Look at those big hooters!]]
[[Image:1000652.JPG|thumb|Oops, she popped her top. :D]]
</nowiki>
</blockquote>
 
'''Between 8:59 and 9:09 p.m. EST, 12 Nov (1:59-02:09 GMT 13 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Virignia time: 8:59-9:09pm, 12 November 2007
* Puts his shit back in.
* Amends a sentence defending the jerkops to say "they're all just doing their jobs '''of enforcing an awesomely [[Virginia is for Virgins|fucked-up false law]].'''"

* Adds this:
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler would like [[ED]] and [[4chan]] to know the following: '''I will continue to Shove The True Facts From My Heart and Soul Down Your Throats, only until you take this WHOLE PAGE Down For Good.'''}}

===13 November===

'''At 2:15 p.m. EST (19:14 GMT), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Sanitizing the article again, and putting his material back in.
* Adds this description of Jerkops: "the imposter police in colors OTHER than BLUE or BLACK who enforce the fucked-up false law of Virginia is for Virgins; not lovers".
* Edits a recommendation that [[Autistic]] people should be avoided to say "Despite it being highly recommended that anyone with [[Autism]] '''will get stared at in deep depth'''"
* Adds a link to one of his diary entries, which is a tinyurl link pointing to what was presumably his [[MySpace]] blog before he took it down in 2008.

===14 November===

'''Between 11:29 and 11:43 p.m. EST (04:29-04:43 GMT, 15 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Creates the user page for Reldnahc. Spends fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to embed an MP3 of So Need a Cute Girl directly onto the page, but fails.
* Puts his material back into the ED article, possibly other minor edits.

===28 December===

'''Edit made at 12:25 a.m. EST (05:26 GMT):'''

* By this point Chris seems to be copy-pasting a poorly-formatted copy of the article as he wants it to appear. Ironically, several insults directed at him, which had been edited for length, are now reintroduced by his reversion. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997377875]</s>

===30 December===

'''Edits made at 12:13-12:14 (05:13-05:14 GMT):'''

* Now using a new account, "Chris-chan", Chris replaces three whole articles (his own, as well as "Scared kitty" and "Insane Clown Posse/TL;DR‎") with "Stop spreading LIES about me!"
<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997380740]</s>
<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Scared_kitty&diff=prev&oldid=1997380741]</s>
<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Insane_Clown_Posse/TL%3BDR&diff=prev&oldid=1997380745]</s>

===10 January===

'''Chris makes the following edit at 2:49 p.m. EST (19:49 GMT)

* Chris replaces the entire article with "<nowiki>[vo!d]</nowiki>" <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997396041]</s>

===19 January===

'''Edit made at 4:35 a.m. (09:35 GMT)

* Denilah replaces the entire article with the following:

<blockquote>Dahlings, by order of of President [[George W. Bush|George Bush Junior]], there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.

Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.

From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,

The President, George Bush</blockquote>

: It's unclear if Denilah was Chris, since there are many trolls who vandalize the page for lulz. But if Chris were going to convince people that someone who is not Chris says the page must not be edited, this is probably what it would look like. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266]</s>

===21 January===

'''Edit made at 4:43 a.m. EST (09:43 GMT):'''

* As Clyde ([[Clyde Cash|no relation?]]), Chris replaces the article with:

<blockquote>
<center>*****POST NO BILLS*****</center>
<center>There is absolutely no meaning in cyber bullying. And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]", then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|tasteful art]]; go out and socialize.
 You don't need to terrorize the innocent. Please. Stop mocking not just me, but all the individuals you have hurt with this crappy bullying, Because IT HURTS YOU AND US ALL.
 Thank you.
 Christian Weston Chandler.</center>
 <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997406599&oldid=1997405835]</s></blockquote>

===25 January===

'''Edits made from 6:10 to 6:16 a.m EST (11:10-11:16 GMT):'''

* A new account, Glith, adds a message to the Chris-chan talk page, saying "I KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK," adding "so there". <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997409944]</s>

* Glith replaces the article with the request that ED persecute [[Joshua Martinez]] instead of Chris. This doesn't seem to work—something about personal armies or something. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947]</s>

===26 January===

'''Edits made 6:15-6:27 a.m. EST (11:15-11:27 GMT):'''

* As Waltbunn, Chris blanks the article (and its talk page) and tries to come up with some sort of wiki tag that will somehow prevent further editing or otherwise destroy the article. None of this shit works, of course.<ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltbunn</s></ref>

===12 March===

'''Edits made at 5:52 a.m. EDT (09:52 GMT)'''

* On the same day that Megan and Chris exchange emails about Megan's outrage over the fingerbanging picture, Waltermelon removes virtually every reference to Megan from the article, as well as the Chris/Megan sex drawing Chris himself posted in November 2007. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997467336&oldid=1997465382]</s>

===15 March===

'''Edits made from 8:49-8:57 a.m. EDT (12:49-12:57 GMT):'''
[[Image:TomTomCloseup.jpg|thumb|right|Chris used this image, TomTomCloseup.jpg, to replace [[ShecameforCWC]].]]
* Christian-Weston-Chandler uploads a new file, TomTomCloseup.jpg‎, which is a closeup of the vagina in the original ShecameforCWC.JPG drawing. He replaces ShecameforCWC.JPG with TomTomCloseup.jpg‎ in the article. Presumably his reasoning here is that if he can't get ED to let him take the picture down altogether, he can compromise with them by substituting a different drawing that at least doesn't show Megan's face.

* He then repeatedly deletes and re-inserts the same section of text about Megan, as if he's not sure whether it should be in the article or not. He may be thinking that these edits will distract from his actual goal, which is to eliminate ShecameforCWC.JPG. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997471349&oldid=1997469851]</s>

:This plan is successful for maybe two days, until the article is protected and CrumpetTrumpet identifies the chicanery. Note that everyone is still of the opinion that it's Crystal in the drawing--nobody, including Megan, would have ever known he drew her nude if he'd known when to shut up. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997475778&oldid=1997475129]</s>

'''9:13 p.m. EDT (01:13 GMT 16 Mar):'''

* Chris edits a notice alerting ED users to his vandalism to read: "Christian Weston Chandler is currently trying to vandalize this article. You can help by explaining why you hate him so much as to contribute to this drama-mama."

===17 March===

'''8:39-8:48 p.m. EDT (00:39-00:48 GMT 18 Mar):'''

* Chris tries to replace the Megan drawing with the TomTomCloseup.jpg‎ again. He also removes references to Megan and to his vandalism of the article (although he ''adds'' a list of his known sockpuppets, for some reason; he may be working from an earlier revision without reading it). He seriously thinks he can ban ED users WhiteMystery and CrumpetTrumpet from his own article by merely posting tables which are presumably crude copies of templates. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997475972&oldid=1997475794]</s>

'''10:58-10:59 p.m. EDT (02:58-02:59 GMT 18 Mar):'''

* Chris uploads his cover art for his [[Adult Chronicles]] game, for PS2, PS3, and Wii, and adds them to the article, noting "Never on HEXBox!" He again tries to remove the Megan drawing and the list of sockpuppets. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476177&oldid=1997475996]</s>

===18 March===

'''12:07-12:11 a.m. EDT (04:07-04:11 GMT):'''

* Chris by now seems more concerned with dispelling the notion that he wants to have sex with Crystal than with taking down the Megan drawing. He changes this:

{{quote|...and drawing pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary twin sister.}}

: to read:
{{quote|and drawing pictures of himself having sex with Megan, who would never want to do it with him anyhow; what a sadsack virginal loser.}}

: He makes other alterations to the captions of thumbnails to mock himself for wanting sex with Megan, all the better to prevent anyone from drawing the more (hypothetically) incestuous conclusion. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476252&oldid=1997476245]</s>

'''9:00-9:10 a.m. EDT (13:00-13:10 GMT):'''

* Chris again changes the sentence about him wanting to have sex with his imaginary sister to "his lost Sailor Soldier, Megan, who dumped his sorry ass for drawing the pic of him fucking her; she never even had any inkling of interest in him. What a intolerable sad-sack loser."

* He edits the article's implication that he only claims to be autistic, citing "paperwork from doctors and psychologists and other quacks."

* By now he has stopped trying to remove the Megan drawing and merely moves it around the article. Megan appears to have said something to him that has made him stop giving a shit. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476698&oldid=1997476683]</s>

===19 March===

'''6:15 p.m. EDT (22:15 GMT):'''

* Chris removes paragraphs about Megan again, and tries for the second time to ban users by putting up crude templates saying they're banned. His banhammer is aimed at users who have reverted his edits: WhiteMystery, CrumpetTrumpet, Weatherman, Drunkenlazybastard, and MysteryBot. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997478479&oldid=1997476922]</s>

===20 March===

'''8:14-8:40 p.m. EDT (00:14-00:40 GMT 21 Mar)''':

* Christian decides if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and presents [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]] He also continues to delete sections about Megan and references to wanting to have sex with Crystal. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997480063&oldid=1997479407]</s>

===21 March===

'''1:08-1:09 p.m. EDT (17:08-17:09 GMT):''',

* Chris deletes large, seemingly arbitrary portions of the article, strangely leaving parts of it intact. He specifically targets a drawing of Rosechu with a penis. This appears to be his final round of edits to ED until August 2008. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997481251&oldid=1997480886]</s>

===7 August===

'''2:03 a.m. EDT (06:03 GMT):'''

* A user known only as SAVE CHRIS CHAN replaces the article with "YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! CWC DOES NOT DESERVE ALL THIS HATE!" <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997693022]</s>

===13 August===

'''8:48-8:49 p.m. EDT (00:48-00:49 GMT 14 Aug):'''

* Reldnahc returns to the Chris-chan talk page with this announcement concerning the alleged medallion theft: <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997701173]</s>

<blockquote>
<nowiki>=== Hey, B-Itches, Quit your barkin'. ===</nowiki> 

I have returned to my comic drawing, one page at a time, so you can quit your slanderous, unrequired cries for attention. Also, I LAUGH at your mockery of a medal imitation; yours looks MORE like a sugar cookie I had with lunch...from a Grocery Store; Free Cookies!

The neighbors have been complaining, and they have provided over a Thousand signatures on the Petition; let your Encyclopedogia Bitchmatica get its injection for eternal sleep.

|----

Middle Finger in your "Ear Lot Evil".
</blockquote>

===14 August===

'''7:41-7:45 p.m. EDT (23:41-23:45 GMT):'''

* Jamplerf replaces both the Chris-chan and 4chan articles with "Fuck you, ED." It's difficult to determine whether this is really Chris or a troll capitalizing on the wave of CWC-mania at the time, but the vandalism is consistent with Christian's focus on 4chan as an enemy. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Jamplerf]</s>

===17 August===

'''6:18 a.m. EDT (10:18 GMT):'''

* Chris deletes a (probably apocryphal) story on the talk page about him deliberately getting into a car wreck with a pretty girl as a pretext to asking her on a date. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997706991]</s>

====18 August====

'''2:46 a.m. EDT (06:46 GMT):'''

* Chris deletes discussion of his parents' names and home address. You may be noticing by this point that the harder he tries the worse things get. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997708544]</s>

===22 August===

'''10:38-10:43 p.m. EDT (02:38-02:43 GMT 23 Aug):'''

* Chris furiously tries to remove any reference to his home phone number and address from the Chris-chan article and the talk page. He finally says:

<blockquote><nowiki>===IF YOU BOTHER ME===</nowiki>

I will STAR69 Your Number or call 911!
You are NOT Freakin' TMZ, so just leave me Alone with Peace of my Mind. [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
</blockquote>

===30 August===

'''5:09 a.m. EDT (09:09 GMT):'''

* In a curiously low-key edit, Chris corrects a report about him getting kicked out of his favorite shop, changing "GameStop" to "Game Place".

===2 September===

'''4:00-4:27 a.m. EDT (08:00-08:27 GMT):'''

* Chris uploads nine nude drawings of Rosechu and replaces transsexual and homoerotic Sonichu fan art with them. (Later, in [[Sonichu 8]], these images are shown to be photographs taken by Rosechu herself and uploaded to [[4-cent_garbage.com]].) <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997731317&oldid=1997731056]</s>

* While he's doing this he makes an odd comment in the caption of a picture of Crystal: "Crystal has her vagina ready too."

===3 September===

'''3:53-6:19 p.m. EDT (19:53-22:19 GMT):'''

* Christian reverts edits of his new Rosechu nudes. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997733933]</s>

* On his Reldnahc user talk page, Chris finds himself repeatedly blanking the page to remove a template showing dozens of images of penises. In response he creates a gallery of erotic imagery he has found on ED that meets with his approval, and posts it on both his user page and its talk page. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Reldnahc&diff=prev&oldid=1997733922]</s> <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=User:Reldnahc&diff=prev&oldid=1997733919]</s>

* Chris also continues to try to correct the assumption that it is Crystal and not Megan in the fingerbanging art. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997733937]</s>

===4 September===

'''2:37-4:21 a.m. EDT (06:37-08:21 GMT):'''

* Chris deletes large portions of the Reldnahc talk page criticizing his edits, and struggles to keep the dongs off the page and his gallery on. He issues variations of this statement on Chris-chan, User:Reldnahc, and User talk:Reldnahc:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>**DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!**</nowiki> 

I AM ADDING THE POSITIVITY THIS HELL-HOLE OF A WEBSITE DESPERATELY NEEDS; you just do not appreciate the POSITIVITY I AM ADDING TO THE PAGE. What I am doing is a STAND against OFFENSIVE, UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED Additions to ANY Female Image. What I am doing is a STAND for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN Everywhere, because NO WOMAN would EVER want such a Horrific Twist of Fate. What I am doing is a STAND against the VERY THING that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!! 

And I will continue to draw my own TASTEFUL NUDE FEMALE ART, with HONEST VAGINA, UTERUS AND OVARIES to my heart's and RAGE AGAINST YOU DICK-HEADS content. 

If you want me to stop, Draw Breasts, Vaginas, Uterus, Ovaries and the God-Given Eggs within them on ALL ROSECHU FANART for yourselves, you Two-Inch Short Dick-HEADS!!!!!!!! 

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler, 
A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace. 

{{quote|P.S. I FULLY UNDERSTAND YOUR MOCKERIES; YOU ALL ARE JUST JERK IDIOTS.|Chris-Chan}}
</blockquote>

'''10:21-11:14 p.m. EDT (02:21-03:14 GMT 5 Sep):'''

* Chris continues battling to either remove the penises on his talk page or change them into pictures of boobies and vaginas. During this flurry of edits he also begins to weed out pictures he previously put in his "choice ED pics" of Dot from Animaniacs, Cream from Sonic the Hedgehog, and Misty from Pokémon; this seems to be out of concern that people think he is fapping to underage characters, since this comes within hours of his announcement that Rosechu is eighteen years old.

===7 September===

'''1:07 a.m. EDT (05:07 GMT):'''

* Chris makes an edit to dispute the assertion that his Rule 34 drawings had to have been drawn prior to ED's discovery of him. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997739363]</s>

===9 September===
'''9:17-9:34 p.m. EDT (01:17-01:34 GMT 10 Sep):'''

* Chris edits the section for the newly-released Episode 18, trying to make sure everyone understands that the villains of the piece are Jason Kendrick Howell and a thinly-veiled analogue of ED. He continues to insist that it's Megan, not Crystal, in the fingerbanging picture.

* On his user page and usertalk page, Chris continues in vain to stop the influx of pickles.

===11 September===

'''10:15-10:16 p.m. EDT (02:15-02:16 GMT):'''

* Chris by now realizes the n00dz he thought he sent to [[Blanca]] actually ended up in the hands of the Man in the Pickle Suit, and they're all on ED. He blanks the Chris-chan, User:Reldnahc, and User talk:Reldnahc articles. All three articles are reverted in minutes; ED's MysteryBot automatically suspends the Reldnahc account for at least 24 hours. This presumably discourages Chris from making further attempts to salvage his reputation, as there is little evidence of him contributing to ED from this point forward.

===16 March===
'''Edits made at 5:45 p.m. EDT (21:42-21:45 GMT):'''

* The Chris-chan account, which has been dormant since 30 December 2007, suddenly reappears to leave cryptic messages on the articles for <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Cho_Seung-Hui&diff=prev&oldid=1997961206 Cho Seung-Hui]</s> and <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Tim_Kretschmer&diff=prev&oldid=1997961205 Tim Kretschmer]</s>, and to replace the Chris-chan article with this message:

<blockquote>One day you FUCKERS will pay for what you have done!

You made [[Megan]] live! MY ONLY FUCKING SWEETHEART! YOU WILL PAY!

NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!

REMOVE THIS FUCKING ARTICLE, 4 CENT GARBAGE!<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997961209&oldid=1997960172]</s></blockquote>

: Chris's password strength is notoriously weak, and it's very likely someone has hijacked one or more of his ED accounts, especially now that this article exists to list his sockpuppets.

===May 2009===

===14 May===

'''Edits made at 6:53-6:54 p.m. EDT (22:53-22:54 GMT):'''

* A new account, <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu]</s>, is created and used to put the following message on the "Chris-chan" talk page:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>=== I've moved on last Tuesday ===</nowiki> 

I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to troll me any further. Do you dare?

Peace-Out,
Christian Weston Chandler.

<nowiki>--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 22:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)</nowiki>
</blockquote>

===15 May===

'''Edits made 11:35-11:36 p.m. EDT (3:35-3:36 GMT 16 May)'''

* ChrisChanSonichu adds the following to his previous message:

<blockquote>Hey, CLYDE, you JERK. I said "IN REAL LIFE", not Playstation. Also, why don't you be the man you CLAIM to be and face me yourself? You keep sending out your prawns to do your dirty work, you coward. >:-(

Christian C.</blockquote>

* He then immediately reverts his own edit.

There has been speculation that the edits were fake, but his videos since the 15th of May have confirmed the information given, so it can reasonably be assumed that the account belongs to Chris.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]
*[[Christian's sex joke]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]
*[[Wikipedia]]

{{The Internet}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

Honest Content

2011-10-05T13:23:02Z

Ash link:

{{Honest}}
{{quote|WHAT WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION|[[BILLY MAYS]]'s [[IRC (20 January 2009)|reaction to learning]] of [[Chris]]'s [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], effectively summarizing Honest Content.}}

'''Honest Content''' refers to the way [[Chris]] believes that, in order to be "honest," you must tactlessly give away [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS |far too much private and/or personal information about yourself]].

While honesty may be the best policy, Chris has a poor grasp of what honesty is or when it's inappropriate to be "honest." Worse still, he seems to think the only way to attract a woman is to be unfailingly honest.

However, Chris will usually not be honest about things that actually warrant it, like how he honestly didn't really go on a date with a girl named [[Chloe]] or [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|that he was honestly fooled by trolls]] or how he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|honestly never went to Redmond]]. Likewise, according to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> Chris never told him anything, suggesting that he was not honest with his own father.

==Origin==
[[Image:CWCAdultChronicles.jpg|thumb|Rated M for....you know it already]]

The term "Honest Content" is derived from Chris's [[DVD]] which has a parental advisory for "Very Honest Content."

Likewise, it appears as a content descriptor in the ESRB rating for ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''. This fictional [[video game]]'s Honest Content is apparently enough to earn it an M rating (for users 17 and older).

[[Image:rosseau.png|thumb|Jean-Jacques Rousseau is known for providing [[Wikipedia:Confessions (Jean-Jacques Rousseau)|''Honest Content'']] too]]

==Honesty==

Upon meeting you, Chris will be "honest" about his:

*[[virgin with rage|Virginity]]
*[[Pink eye]]
*[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Fecal incontinence]]
*[[Love quest]]
*[[Autism]]
*[[Noviophobia|Invented phobias]]
*[[Semen|Recycling]]
*[[Donald Duck impersonation]]
*[[Anne Boleyn|Genealogy]]
*[[Mass debating|Masturbation]]
*[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Need to wear a bra]]

His honesty, however, isn't limited to the horrible, but also the inane. When mentioning his name-change, he always credits both [[Chris and Religion|God]] and [[The Bear]]. Similarly, when talking about Sonic being his childhood hero he always clarifies that his hero was originally [[The American Rabbit]]. Whether or not he thinks he'll hurt the Rabbit's feelings if he doesn't make that distinction is unknown, though judging by the... [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|illuminating conversations Chris had with Alec]] it's entirely possible, since Chris believes that [[Chris and Reality|all fiction characters are "real"]] to some degree.

Despite being candid about just about every little personal aspect, including addresses and phone numbers, Chris will rage at you for "stealing" "private" information that [[Chris and Hypocrisy|he himself has disclosed]].

==True and Honest, Honest and True==
"True and honest" (or "TRUE and HONEST" for added impact) is a common catchphrase among trolls, usually used to describe something that isn't the least bit honest or true. It became especially popular during the [[Liquid Chris]] saga, as Liquid insisted that he was the "TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler" in the face of the "impostor" Ian Brandon Anderson.

Chris did coin the phrase, though, even if it was his trolls that picked it up and ran with it, and he has used it on a few occasions.

*On the [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]], in an entry from 25 September 2008, Chris talked about his would-be sweetheart [[PandaHalo]], saying, "I know she is True and Honest from her voice...SHE IS NOT A TROLL; SO DO NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE OR FRAME HER."
*In [[Mumble 9]], Chris said of his gal-pals: ''"I was very happy that day when I felt such respect when I felt the true honest respect of them."''
*In the extended version of [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris says, "I am NOT a troll to any of the other True and Honest people out there."
*During one of his [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE|phone conversations]] with Liquid in August 2009, Chris declared, "I am the true, honest voice of reason here, I am being the- I am the true, honest one here."
*On 22 August 2009, in the comment to the video [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]], Chris wrote "Thank you to all my True, Loyal Honest Fans for giving me RESPECT."
*In a 24 August 2009 [[CWC Blog]] post, Chris wrote "I wish to make a few points of Honest Truth here," and mentioned "all Honest, True People."
*In [[For Chris]], a video from the Liquid dispute dated 22 October 2009, Chris talked about his infamous honesty: "I like sharing my honest feelings with other people because they're good feelings, most of the time. And more importantly they are true and honest feelings. SO THERE."
*In the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], from November 2009, after being caught up in lie after lie after lie, a half-sobbing Chris said, "I have not been lying to anybody! I have been honest and true."

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Lies]]
*[[Chris and censorship]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Jack Thaddeus

2011-10-05T13:22:14Z

Ash link:

{{Quote|Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my [[PlayStation Network]]s accounts, you expert hacker! You, you [[Chris and English|ir—rational expert]]! Motherfucking [[Chris and religion|burning-in-Hell]] hacker!|Chris on Jack<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Ahuvia.png|200px|center]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Ahuviya Rotem Harel
|-
|'''Birth name'''
|Phillip V. Haskins-Delici
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Jack Thaddeus ADF Felipe Delicias
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 12 August [[1985]]
|-
| '''Residence'''
| Philadelphia, PA, [[USA]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Transwoman
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| American
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
|}
'''Jack Thaddeus''' (born 12 August 1985) is the [[troll]] responsible for various [[PS3#PlayStation Network|PSN]]-related trollings with [[Chris]]. He is also a TRUE and HONEST [[homo]].<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> In [[August 2011]], he was outed as being none other than [[Internet]] lolcow '''Ahuviya Rotem Harel''' ("ADF"), a noted [[cosplay]]er, [[Michael Snyder|JEW]], communist, and [[Asperger's syndrome|"Aspergian"]].

==PSN hax==
Jack had a sweeping victory in the seizure of multiple Chris PSN accounts, using them to blackmail Chris into [[Chris humps his PS3|dry-humping his PS3]] and [[It's UGH!|singing "It's okay to be gay"]]. Unimpressed by Chris's performance, he deleted them for the good of mankind.

Jack worked with his daughter [[Samantha Thaddeus]] in order to break into Chandler's PSN accounts and possibly bring about the beginning of the [[Liquid Chris]] Saga.<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails#7/19/09|The Mysterious Man at Otakon]]</ref>

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Gay&PickleAds.JPG|thumb|Jack's ads]]

In [[November 2009]], Jack purchased advertising space on the [[CWCipedia]]. One banner ad linked to a [[gay]] rights website (noting that the creator and hero of ''[[Family Guy]]'' both support gay rights, and using the hated word "[[naïve]]"), while another advertised Mexican vacations using an anthropomorphic [[pickle|cactus]] mascot.

Chris was incensed by the desecration of his wiki and [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|demanded that the ads be removed]]. Upon being told that Thaddeus was responsible, Chris declared "[[Kill De Jack|I'll deal with him myself]]." Whatever measures he took, though, they didn't do much good, because the original ads were soon joined by many new banners featuring pickles, [[homos]], and other things Chris hates and fears. These ads would have stayed for a long time since Jack, a gentle and generous soul, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#Do NOT tamper with the advertisements (CCS)|rented all the ads-space up to the end of 2010]].

Jack eventually leased some of the adspace to [[Mao]], the webmaster of the [[Asperpedia]]. On 25 [[February 2010]], this lease apparently concluded, and Jack filled the website with dicks.

Eventually, on 18 [[March 2010]], Jack pulled all his funding from the site, forcing the Sysop to take the site down. It came back the next day under the rule of Mao.

==In the comics==
[[Image:jacktochris.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Jack made his first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the 4-cent_garbage building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns him and [[Clyde Cash]] for being homo trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he, too, condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler]. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6 story elevator shaft to their suicide.

==Called out==
[[image:separatedatbirth.jpg|thumb|Separated at birth]]

On 16 [[August 2011]] [[Calling_out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|Chris claimed]] to have dox on Jack, and claimed that his real name was Ahuviya, that he lived in Pennsylvania, and that Jack is planning to have [[Wikipedia:Sex reassignment surgery (male-to-female)|gender reassignment surgery]]. He demanded a video of apology to be uploaded by Jack/Ahuviya by 10 [[September 2011]].

A week later, [[Calling_Out#Re-Calling Ahuvia|he revealed]] that Ahuviya was a [[Molvania|communist]] and into BDSM.

In a shocking twist, it emerged that Jack/Ahuviya was none other than Ahuviya Rotem Harel, a.k.a. ADF, a lolcow almost as big as Chris himself.<ref>[http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Why_Philadelphia_is_so_much_Greater_than_CWCville]</ref><ref>[http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Advice_for_Chris-chan_from_Ahuviya_Harel]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]

==Sources==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page ADFki]
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Thaddeus, Jack}}

[[Category:Trolls]][[Category: CWCipedia Saga]]

Mailbag

2011-10-05T13:21:59Z

Ash link:

[[Image:Letr.gif|thumb|right|Chris's fanmail clipart from CWCipedia. It uses the same colors as [[CWCville|Nazi Germany]].]]

On 19 [[November 2009]], the sysop of [[CWCipedia]] created a new page for [[Chris]] to answer [[troll|fan]] e-mails. This '''Mailbag''' marked the first time the words of other humans appeared on CWCipedia, which up to that point had been all Chris all the time.

The Mailbag quickly overflowed from its original page into a series of numbered pages, each one containing a random assortment of fanmail for Chris to respond to with his own special brand of [[Honest Content]]. This quickly became the best way to ask Chris any manner of questions about his deeply disturbing life, though Chris has become disillusioned with the practice over time (especially as letters increasingly focused on his many [[fail]]ures and [[autism|other shortcomings]]). Chris ceased answering the letters in [[February 2010]], during which he was more focused on [[The Wallflower]] than his works and left them to rot after he "abandoned" the [[Internet]] and the original [[CWCipedia]] was deleted.

==Insight==
This direct line into Chris's thoughts allowed curious trolls a brand new way to find the answers they so desperately sought: asking politely. Through these messages, several aspects of Chris's personality were either exposed or reinforced.

* '''Chris doesn't want to help his [[fans]].''' Fanmail sections are supposed to be about the author going an extra mile for pleasing, informing, and otherwise helping the reader. Chris simply assumes that the way he does things is the only possible way of handling the Mailbag; he doesn't even stop to consider that there are some established conventions in answering fanmail, and that he's failing to uphold them. Basic politeness has long since gone out of window. So have any displays of effort in answering the e-mails. He also has the knack of stalling the discussions by requiring effort from the reader: he's — no kidding — asking for ''definitions of words'' which could be found with two seconds of Googling.<ref>[[Mailbag 48#Chris recommends wearing girl clothes over guy clothes|Mailbag 48]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 54#What is an screencap|Mailbag #54]]</ref> He can't even be bothered to make his replies easy to read for his fans with the use of bullet points, and instead. Autistically. Opts. For. One. Word. Replies. After. Another.
* '''Chris absolutely despises being corrected.''' Repeatedly, Chris insisted that [[Asperger syndrome]] was "nothing" like [[autism]], and refused to even look at information that would suggest otherwise, outright saying that he was "[[Mailbag 4#Chris the close-minded|closed-minded]]" on the subject.
* '''Chris's aversion to certain words is as strong as ever.''' While Chris has apparently got over using the word "dick", his reliance on [[CWC-isms]] remains unchecked, the most notable example would be referring to a swastika as a "[[Mailbag 5#That wacky Hitler|four-boomerang-shaped symbol]]". In a [[Common Questions#22 February 2010|Common Questions]] section, however, he did use the word "[[Wikipedia:swastika|swastika]]", so he may be improving in this area.
* '''Chris is fully aware of the fact that he's plagiarizing.''' When speaking about his inspiration, he said that his ideas were sometimes "borrowed from a [[Television|TV show]] or movie." He also treated fan suggestions as though he was going to take every single one of them rather than coming up with his own ideas, at [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris gives someone permission to make characters for him to steal|one point]] giving a fan "permission" to submit a character for Chris to use in a future story.
* '''Chris sure does hate [[homos|gay people]].''' Not consistently, though. When Chris isn't going on about how [[Mailbag 1#The cure for homosexuality|he's going to cure homosexuality]] or hoping that [[Mailbag_49|the homos all die in foreign wars]], he's making vague attempts at damage control, saying things like he wouldn't hate a guy "[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|for just one reason]]." It seems like he's aware that his homophobia offends his audience, but his hatred is so visceral that he can't always keep it under wraps.
* '''Chris thinks the things he does are groundbreaking.''' In response to a letter about inventions, Chris says that necessity is the mother of inventions and proceeded to name Sonichu and CWCville as inventions. Take that, [[China]]!
* '''Chris is largely unaware of the outside world.''' Obvious, of course, but he has now received letters from people claiming to be [[Mailbag 9#Iranian democracy|corrupt]] [[Mailbag 3#Leadership role models|dictators]] (or [[Mailbag 6#North Korea is pretty cool|their kids]]), [[Mailbag 6#In which Chris recommends a sex store to a serial murderer|serial]] [[Mailbag 7#Good housekeeping|murderers]], a [[Mailbag 5#That wacky Hitler|few]] [[Mailbag 9#Deutschland, Deutschland über alles|Nazis]], [[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor|brilliant artists]], famous [[Mailbag 4#Gabe Newell: white knight|video game designers]], [[Mailbag 2#Sonichu's Job|fictional]] [[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|characters]], [[Mailbag 9#Chris the illest rapper|rock stars]], [[Mailbag_55|internationally famous lounge singers]], [[Mailbag_9#Request_hour|a bisexual German cannibal]], [[Mailbag_34|the heroes of various cult-favorite video games]], [[Mailbag 55|a deceased porn star offering a conditional date]], and [[Mailbag 4#Hail Satan|the Devil himself]].<ref>See [[Mailbag/References]] for the full list of famous individuals whose identities were used by mailers.</ref> The only person Chris has managed to recognize is horror author Stephen King in [[Mailbag 26|Mailbag #26]], probably because Chris was familiar with the Stephen King-related ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode. In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #8]], he says he confused "Mike Jackson" with Michael Jackson, ''painfully'' oblivious to the fact that there are a lot of people with same names, or that people could use pen names that happen to be inspired by famous people.
* '''Chris thinks girlfriends solve everything.''' Inevitably, his advice to most of his correspondents who are having any kind of problem is that they should find a girlfriend. Since Chris imagines a girlfriend as a nurturing mother figure who provides for your every need in addition to giving up the [[china]], he reckons that they're the solution to any and all emotional or practical difficulties. In particular, this is his response to anyone who is worried that they might be experiencing "homo urges".

==Censorship==
[[Image:CWCstalin1.png|thumb|right|Chris is fond of censorship.]]
Perhaps the most telling part of the Mailbags are not Chris's answers, but the letters Chris refuses to answer. In the first few Mailbags, all e-mails that did not lavish adequate amounts of praise on Chris were promptly deleted. A few that ''did'' lavish praise on him were also deleted, because they were written by people whom Chris found objectionable. These "unwanted" individuals generally consisted of [[Homos|gays]], [[Niggos|blacks]], and [[Chris and religion|atheists]]. A couple of other individuals were silenced when they confused Chris with the [[CChanSonichuCWC|other, better Chris]]. Finally, one e-mail was only partially deleted, because the author stated that he was not fond of Michael Bay's ''[[Transformers]]'' movies.

In later Mailbags, Chris deleted less mail, notably after a few messages called him out on his suppression of the press. His choices for deletion however, became more erratic, deleting messages from people who wanted to actually help him, or from people asking serious honest questions. Eventually Chris added a [[Rejected Mailbag]] page to the CWCipedia, as a place for e-mails he rejected, saying that they had "offensive, or mislabeling, content that I, Christian W. Chandler, would not care to respond to." Oddly, he then typed full responses to several of these "rejected" letters, making the whole thing pointless.

His newest trick, though, is to use strikeouts (<s>like this</s>) to edit letters that make him uncomfortable. Mostly he edits out anything related to homosexuality, and replaces it with non-homo stuff. However, he has gone back and undone some of these strikeouts.

In the early hours of 19 January, Chris deleted the entirety of [[Mailbag 41|Mailbag #41]] and uploaded a manifesto in its place banning ''[[Asperchu]]''-related mail. This did not stem the flow of questions and comments about ''Asperchu'', but Chris's hatred of the subject inspired him to once again carve up the Mailbags with gusto. [[Mailbag 46|Mailbag #46]], for instance, saw three of its seven letters consigned to the memory hole.

[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #3]] shows that Chris knew that anyone can see the deleted mails through the page history. Yet, due to his general obliviousness, he doesn't know what people usually think when they see the Mailbag has been tampered with. Transparency can have averse effects on people.

With [[Mailbag 52|Mailbag 52]], Chris has started a new sort of reply beyond deleting everything. Ten e-mails, many of which were derogatory (and even one coming from [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|the widow of the man he helped push to suicide]]), were all answered with this response:

{{quote|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

The heartlessness of such a "canned" reply has earned the ire of many fans.

==The [[Twitter]] feed==
{{main|Twitter}}
On 25 [[December 2009]], the WikiSysop added a live Twitter feed to the Mailbag. This was short-lived, as on the early morning of 27 December, Chris removed it in a fit of [[rage]] and added the following note:

{{quote|o I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT YOU GOD DAMN [[Homos|GAYS]]!!! I F***ING HATE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF [[Trolls|TROLLS]] WHO MESS WITH ME AND MY LIFE!

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

NO [[Twitter|TWITTER]] ALLOWED!!!|

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:31, 27 [[December 2009]] (CET) }}

Exactly five minutes later Chris would create a special page for the Twitter feed, and delete the homophobic outburst quoted above. Chris would create a Twitter account for himself [[Chris and hypocrisy|the very next day]], regaling his fans with stories of him doing yardwork.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Chris E-Mails]]
* [[CWCipedia]]
* [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]

{{Mailbag}}

[[Category:CWCipedia]]

Medallions

2011-10-05T13:21:41Z

Ash link:

[[Image:License.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Oh, yes he fucking did!]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|150px|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

{{quote|Watch out for the medallion!|[[Niggo|Ludacris]]}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them "medals".<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|"CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!"]]</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref>

The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic.]]

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[Image:Abused_cat.jpg|thumb|Some unamused [[cat]].]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is...because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal.)<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

[[File:Soniccomicmedallion.png|thumb|Chris can't come up with any original ideas.]]

One theory as to the origin of the medallion idea comes from the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' comic series (issue #70), in which a character is depicted wearing a yellow Sonic medallion. This theory is supported by the fact the issue came out in February [[1999]], a year before Chris claims that the Sonichu medallion was created.

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The Sonichu medallion==
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

===Prototype===
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|150px|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].

 

===Mark 1 (and decoy)===
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear a new medallion with a better paint job. This one can be identified by the tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face, which are less pronounced than in the prototype and later models. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and its fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

===Mark 2===
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|150px|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but in any case, the remnants of the medallion were assuredly covered in [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal matter]]. Whatever happened, Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

===Mark 3===
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|150px|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

CWC enthusiasts can look forward to Chris voluntarily surrendering the medallion to thieves and/or willingly shoving it up his rectum in the near future.

 

==The Rosechu medallion==
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|150px|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

==The Black Sonichu medallion==
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

==The Jiggliami medallion==
Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Jiggliamimedallion.jpg|On the back, it reads "Medallion crafted by Christian Weston Chandler."
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|Scanned image of the front of the Jiggliami Medallion.
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|Back of the Jiggliami Medallion. The signature by Chris has faded with time.
</gallery>
</center>
==The [[Asperchu]] Medallion==
[[Image:As.PNG|200px|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion is confirmed to be one of Asperchu. Apparently, it was crafted by Alec Benson Leary and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal is still hanging on his wall to this day, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris get stressed by having to look at it. (although the box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about).

Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].

==Gone forever?==
Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. All is right with the world again.
{{clear}}

==Obtaining Medallions==
Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu Mark 1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>

 

===Destroyed Medallions===
*Sonichu Mark 2

===Medallions Still in Chris's Possesion===
*Sonichu Mark 3
*Asperchu

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

Pickle

2011-10-05T13:21:19Z

Ash link:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Chrisreply3.PNG|center]]

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image: PickleGIFImage.gif|100px]] </div>

{{quote|[[stress sigh|Sigh]], can we not talk about pickles, please?|[[Chris]] - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}
[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|Pickles are Sonichu's greatest enemy. Also, look at how Chris spells [[Wikipedia:Sbarro|Sbarro]].]]

'''Pickle''' is one of [[Chris]]'s euphemisms for "penis," typically in the context of a penis other than his own. (His own penis is usually referred to as his "[[duck]]".) He and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (because he's a [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]]) both hate penises due to Chris's intense [[Chris and Sex|sexual]] [[homos|insecurity]], to the point that they both literally hate pickled cucumbers.

Chris is easily provoked by fanart suggesting that [[Rosechu]] has a penis, although it is difficult for him to retaliate since that would require him to actually look at the dreaded vegetable. Coincidentally, one of Chris's most notorious enemies is the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who has frequently tricked him into, among other things, releasing photos of his own pickle.

Possibly due to troll usage of the term, Chris made fewer references to pickles in [[2009]] and even fewer afterward, though he still occasionally referred to his picklephobia in works such as [[Sonichu Special 1]].

==Pickled cucumbers==
[[File:Tickle His Pickle.jpg|thumb|120px|left|An ideal C-Mas gift for gal-pals of all teenages.]]
[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|150px|When you see it you'll shit bricks.]]

{{quote|They taste terrible, and they look like dicks; even more disgusting.|Chris, answering a troll's email regarding pickles<ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates Pickles]]</ref>}}

Aside from his hatred of metaphorical pickles, it is also well documented that Christian has a long-standing aversion to the delicious cucumbers pickled in brine, going as far back to some of the earlier material documented in his [[scrapbook]]. Receipts from his trip to [[Wikipedia:Ohio|Ohio]] in search of [[Julie]] show that he specifically orders his fast-food hamburgers without pickles. Even the mere image of a pickle bothers him — the picklish ad banners placed on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[November 2009]] provoked an angry response.

Whether this is because pickles remind him, even when sliced and under the bun of a sandwich, of cocks, or whether he simply has an aversion to foods with a strong taste or smell, remains to be seen. Considering his [[Chris and Health#Nutrition|diet]], pickles may simply be too much flavor for a man who has notoriously [[Family Guy|bland]] tastes to handle. [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|Then again...]]

==References to pickles==
{{quote|I hate pickles.|[[Chris]] - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}

[[Image:Rosechupickels.jpg|thumb|left|Rosechu brutally face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] afterward... for throwing a pickle.]]
[[Image:Picklecat.png|thumb|IF I SEE ONE MORE FRICKIN' PICKLE...]]

Chris's virulent hatred of pickles was one of the first weaknesses discovered by [[trolls]], all the way back in the fall of 2007. When the [[4chan]] artist [[Evan]] contacted Chris with a collection of "fan art" drawn by denizens of /v/ — in which, 4chan being 4chan, images of Rosechu with a penis figured prominently — Chris memorably replied "Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' PICKLE!!!!"

Since then, Chris has made a number of references to pickles in his comics and [[YouTube]] videos, partly on his own and partly due to trollish instigation.

*In his [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, Chris makes several references to pickles, albeit in the context of his enemy, [[the Man in the Pickle Suit]].
*He also blamed the Pickle Man for his woes in his video of [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008]].
*Towards the end of 2008, when Chris still believed that the #sonichu [[IRC]] channel was home to [[Fanbase|his TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]], the channel was set up at his behest to kick any chatters who used the word "pickle."
*The "slander ray" wielded by the comic-book villain [[Clyde Cash|Cly]] in [[Sonichu Special 1]] resembles a pickle with a gun barrel attached to one end.
*Chris's nemesis, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], declares "Go and play with your pickle!" before throwing a pickle at [[Rosechu]]. Her response is unwarranted, to say the least.
*In [[IRC_(24_October_2008)|the 24 October 2008 IRC chat]], Chris declares his fondness for "Double Cheeseburgers ... with no dill."
*Sonichu himself has hated pickles since as far back as [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], drawn long before Chris was ever trolled through his fear of pickles. There, our hero was frozen with terror after encountering pickles while dining with Rosechu at "Burger Krunch." The panel where this took place was later re-drawn as the "Sonichu & Aqua Teens" illustration.
{{clear}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
[[Image:164889-ogorki.jpg|thumb|Picklechu]]
*[[Chris and Sex]]
*[[China]]
*[[Comeuppance]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
*[[Mass Debate]]
*[[Masturbating and squirtin']]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC

2011-10-05T13:21:02Z

Ash link:

"'''I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC'''" (officially "'''I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts'''") is a video uploaded on 26 [[2009#July|July 2009]] by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], in which he redefines the word [[Homos|gay]], showcases his artwork to demonstrate his authenticity and finishes with a vicious attack on the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].

==Summary==
[[Image:I Am The TRUE, Original.jpg|thumb|240px|Ian shows off his [[Scrapbook of Fail]].]]

The video opens with Ian standing in his room, wearing his [[Chris and fashion#Wardrobe|red shirt with blue and gray stripes]], [[Pedo-Glasses]], [[Medallions of Fail#Mark 3|Sonichu medallion]] and his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Ian announces he is "here to dispel a big, fat thing". He then explains that the [[It's UGH!|two videos]] of him singing along to "Ok2bgay" by Tomboy were the result of blackmail, and that he felt quite nauseous about the whole thing. Ian tells us he was (mis)informed that "Ok2bgay" was "a mockery", and so his performance was in a similar vein—in fact, it was comparable to comedy legends ''[[Monty Python]]''.

From this, he somehow reasons that, since he was mocking being gay as stupid, his true message was it's okay to be stupid. He then feels obliged to assert his own heterosexuality by screaming "I AM STRAIGHT!", although the rhetorical question of whether Ian looks gay is met with hesitation before a shake of the head. Confusing the word "accusation" with another similar word, he also demands the cessation of "acquisition messages". We are also reminded that any dissing of Ian [[Do Not Dis C Ville|is also a diss of CWCville and Charlottesville]]. This is all achieved with multiple jump cuts, dramatic removal of and discarding of his glasses, wild gesticulation and [[YouTube]] video annotations. Speaking of which, this video is unique with regards to the sheer number of annotations Chris incorporates into it - Chris's videos usually don't have any annotations, even when he is raging. It is possible that the additional effort of writing annotations for videos causes Chris too much [[stress]], leading him to more or less abandon them after attempting to use them in this video.

Ian then defends himself from accusations of being an impostor by going through the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and displaying (allegedly) original art from the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]] while providing commentary.
{{clear}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XxWDwHvksOM}}
| stardate = 29 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"]]
| next = [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]
}}
{{quote|...and I did an awesome fuckin' job.}}

=== Transcript ===

====Dispelling a big, fat thing (0:00 to 1:43)====

Hi! [''points and waves finger''] Christian Weston Chandler here! And I am here to dispel a [[Chris|big, fat thing]].

[''jump cut'']

[[It's UGH!|The... urkay to be gay sign, nnhg...]].

[''jump cut'']

When I first read the lyrics I was being [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmailed]] into doing this.

[''jump cut'']

I felt queasy [''dramatically removes glasses''] from the first time I looked at the very first line [''dramatically discards glasses''] of that damn, dirty song. But then, later, a friend made me realize—uh, a friend told me that ''it was originally done as a mockery''! ''A mockery'' by the damn Tomboy. ''A mockery''! So I went with that... and did my own spin-off of [''arms outstretched''] ''Monty Python's Flying Circus''! {{YoutubeAnnotation|[[Random Access Humor|Really Stupid Flying Donkey]]}} So therefore when I was saying ''it's okay to be gaaay'' I was saying it's okay to be STUPID! Stupid! That's one reason why I put that message in front of the video. {{YoutubeAnnotation|Webster's Dictionary: -Gay (Adj.) 1) STUPID!!!<ref>Webster's primary [http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gay definition] of gay is "happily excited[;]merry"</ref>}} Y'know, the word is stupid! The word is STUPID!

[''jump cut'']

[[Image:ChrisAnnotations.jpg|thumb|This is why [[YouTube]] made annotations: so Ian can communicate the need for "[[Women's rights|liberated]] vag".]]

The whole premise was stupid and that's what I went with. Stupid! I am straight! [''annotations: ''I AM [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!!!!!!!!!, I LOVE [[Ivy|NATURAL WOMAN BREASTS]]!!!!!, GIVE ME LIBERATED [[China|VAG]]!!!!! and MY [[Duck|DUCK]] HUNGERS FOR [[China|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!] Would I even be doing this if I—

[''jump cut'']

And look at me. Do I look like [''shakes head in disagreement'']—'''no more of those stupid acquisition messages!'''

[''jump cut'']

Get it through your '''fucking'''... '''individual'''... '''damn'''... '''dirty'''... '''''SKULLS'''''! '''I'''... '''am'''... '''STRAIGHT!'''

[''jump cut'']

[[Do Not Dis C Ville|Do not diss me any more!]] Or you will further diss [[CWCville]] and the city of [[Charlottesville]]!

====A history (1:44 to 4:11)====

[''jump cut'']

[[Image:issuezero.jpg|thumb|right|60px]]
But anyway, also, to prove another point that I am indeed the real Christian Weston Chandler. And that I am not that damn fucking [[CChanSonichuCWC|imposter in brown]]! I am going to show you a history, [''produces a black folder with the cover picture from [[Sonichu 0]] on the cover, shakes his head like a smug, retarded tortoise, and raises the pitch of his voice considerably''] of close-ups. A close-up history. Let's have a look in here, shall we?

[''jump cut to a close up of the Sonichu 0 cover'']

Ah yes, the infamous [''totally misunderstanding the meaning of the prefix -in''] classic hand-drawn cover of the ''Number 0'' book. You can never, ever copy the hand-drawn styles. No matter how hard you try.

[''jump cut to Ian's face poking out of the right side of the frame'']

My art [[Autism|speaks for me]]. Now let's look at some more.

[''jump cut'']

Here's a one page I'm sure you remember.

[[Image:SchuComicPage6.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of Sonichu defeating the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]]'']

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqYkCJaBAyA Bad, bad Leeroy Brown.]

[[Image:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] kissing under some fireworks'']

Mine and the first romantic attempt,[regurgitating something his mother must have told him] and I did an awesome fuckin' job.

[[Image:Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of the cover of ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]]

Here's another one.

[''jump cut'']

And that corner tag came from an original "only for GameCube" title that was originally... a GameCube title but then later it expanded to other consoles. [''pulls picture down and pokes his head in from right''] Damn [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]].

[[Image:issueone.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the cover of ''Sonichu 1]

"Chemical X?"
"No, cherry cola."

[[Image:SchuComic2Page21.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to an ad for some retarded Pokémon cards'']

A favorite classic ad.

[[Image:SchuComic2Page23.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a page from ''Sonichu 1]

Oh yeah, here comes a laugh:

"I'm Robotnik, Robotnik, du-du-du-du-du, Robotnik, Robotnik, du-du-du-du-du-duuuu~"

[''laughing like a deranged lunatic at a joke not humorous to anyone but him''] "Hahahahaha!"

[[Image:SchuComic2Page35.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene from another page from ''Sonichu 1]

What's the difference between [[Amy Rose|Amy]] and Rosechu? Long tail. Rosechu has spikes. Amy has a red headband, Rosey has white. Her default outfit has stripes. Amy's does not. Blue and fire-engine red are their favorite colors. She prefers a different shade of red, Amy does. Now while they are going getting about, we'd like to save time and money with Get-co.

[[Image:AxeAd.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the [[Axe]] ad'']

Only for the [[Homos|straight]] man. Axe. He use the Orizon—Orion scent.

"May I orbit your belt, sweetheart?"

"Yeah I'll let you orbit my belt... as long as you want until midnight! Hahaha, yeah! Jackpot!" [''OH HO! Funny, Chris. Ba-zing!'']

====A history (4:11 to 6:01)====

[[Image:SchuComic3Page23.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to [[Sonichu 2#Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"|a scene]] from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] arc of ''[[Sonichu 2]]]

Anuh—And now something completely different. An ''Inuyasha'' parody... very good.

[[Image:Issue3.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a closeup of the [[Chaotic Combo]] on the cover of [[Sonichu 3]]'']

[''sings''] Hey, hey. The gang's all here. What the heck do we care? What the heck do we care?

[[Image:SchuComic4Pages5+7.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to two overlapping pages of ''Sonichu 3'': the introductions of [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]]'']

Here you are, two famous ladies.

[[Image:SchuComic4Page8.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of [[G.D.W. Shinabe]]'']

[''sings'']I'm Nabeshin. My afro suits me; it's so easy to clean just wash it wash, Poemy was not the girl who ripped his tail, it was [[Mypoe]] you dang, old dorks.

[[Image:SchuSubE4P11.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene from [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|"McAttack"]] featuring a replica of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] made of [[pixelblocks|Lego bricks and Pixelblocks]'']]

[''high-pitched, squeaky voice'']Oh, look! I made it from Legos and Pixelblocks. And, believe it or not, [[Pixelated PS3|I play "Thunderhorse"]]! ''[[Guitar Hero]]''!

[[Image:issue4.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the cover of ''[[Sonichu 4]]]

I went. I fought. I eventually conquered with courage.

[''jump cut'']

[[Cwc dare|Heaven only knows what you might find. DARE. Dare to keep all your dreams alive!]]

[[Image:Crystal.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from ''[[Sub-Episode 7]]]

The twin sister I wish I had in real-life.

[[Image:SchuSubE7P10.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to another scene from ''Sub-Episode 7]

Holy Vector Sigma, [[Optimus Prime]]!

[''jump cut'']

Where's Bumblebee when I need him?

[[Image:Chris blood.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene from ''[[Sub-Episode 8]]]

Damn you, Bagget.

[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of Jack's Knight from the first page of ''[[Sonichu 5]]]

Special summoned guest star: Jack's Knight. [[Random Access Humor|Where is the queen and king? Matter of fact, was there an ace in the hole?]]

[''jump cut'']

[''gay voice''] [[China|The hole of the ''queeeeen''?]]

[[Image:Sonichu05-P14.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene where Chris-chan Sonichu plays ''Yu-Gi-Oh!]

CWCspells, activate! Pshoo!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P15.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the page opposite'']

''Annnnnnnnd'' CREATURE SWAP!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P18.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of [[Megan|Sailor Megtune]] and her Megagi La Skunk'']

In the name of all hearts in the universe—

[''jump cut'']

—we shall punish you!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P20.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene where Megagi La Skunk punches Chris-chan Sonichu in the head'']

[''makes a punch noise'']

[''jump cut'']

That hurt.

[[Image:Sonichu05-P30.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of Mary Lee Walsh'']

Damn you, dirty witch. Damn you!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P37.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the first page of ''Episode 13'': a group picture containing Chris-chan, Sonichu, Rosechu, and the Chaotic Combo'']

Welcome to CWCville. Let's get this party started.

[[Image:Sonichu05-P38.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the following page'']

Evil witch, I will avenge all hearts you have shattered (including myself), which you have done in October [[2003]].

[[Image:Sonichu05-P41.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to another page with Megan and Megagi'']

[''sings''] Uuuhduhnuhnuhnuhnuhduhduhnuhnuhnuhduhnuh ala Tuxedo Kamen! Duhduhduhnuhnuh

====A history (6:02 to 9:34)====
[''jump cut to cover of ''Sonichu 6]

[[Patti]], I miss you. [[Chris and Death|Come home]]. We'll go play catch. And dear [[Kitty Chandler|Kitty]] misses you, too... very much so. I love you.

[''jump cut to image of Allison Amber from ''Sonichu 6]

Miss [[Allison Amber]] has been appointed vice-mayor upon her hiring. And she took the position of mayor during my absence within the [[time void|alternate dimension]]. [[Billy Mays]] was never the mayor; he was my bodyguard and body-double. Shave off his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|beard]], we look alike. Although, I constantly mistake him for Richard Karn. [''sings''] ''Home Improvement''! ''Home Improvement''! Starring Tim Allen. [Note: Home Improvement had an instrumental theme song, and even then it sounded nothing like Chris's howling]

[''jump cut to previously unseen drawing of Billy Mays'']

Come on back, Billy Mays, and enjoy our dogwood festivals in Charlottesville!

[''jump cut to image of [[Bionic]] from ''Sonichu 6]

[[Bionic|Sonic had a twin brother? And he's a basketball all-star?]] [''sings'']

:You're a shooting star,
:No matter where you are,
:As far as the eye can see,
:No matter who you be.

Only so many witnesses in Manchester high school have actually witnessed the creation and birth and Sonichu and Rosechu. [[Chris and his ego|Nobody else]] could ever had the experience those individuals have.

[''jump cut to image of [[Megan]] and Chris from [[Sonichu 7]]'']

Wow, he recovered quick... kind of a Goku get'em attitude. [[fail|Too bad I was never just that too all into him. Megan... WHY?!]]

[''jump cut to Chris'']

...And for that matter, [[The Game Place|Michael Snyder]], WHY?! [''annotation: ''Why did you Hate My Guts, Michael Snyder; I had my Voluenteer Job with the Pokemon TCG League. What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!! You have my Number.]

[''jump cut to Ghostbusters "skitch" from ''Sonichu 7]
[''Peter Griffin laugh''] Before time travel back, I got to visit the Ghostbusters' house. [''more Peter Griffin laugh'']

[''jump cut to image of [[Kellie Andes]] from ''Sonichu 7]

Kellie, [[lie|I hope you are happy in your married life.]]

[''jump cut to image of [[Joseph Herring]] from ''Sonichu 7]

Hey, Joe, whaddya know? Haven't heard from ya in a long time. How've you been? Hope you found yourself your female sweetheart. Too bad what's-her-name didn't fit the bill so well. She was a damn, dirty bitch. A picky one, too, whatever her name was.

[''jump cut to ''Beavis and Butt-head'' ripoff from ''Sonichu 7]

[''Beavis voice''] Check it out, Butt-head. Somebody left their locker open.

[''terrible Butt-head impression''] Let's close it for them. BAAAM! Who wants to make love today? [''high-pitched girl voice''] Oh, we do! We do teacher! Alright. April, Lorry, Susan... ''Simoooooone''....

[''jump cut to image of Sonichu and Rosechu embracing from ''Sonichu 7]

I love you, Rosey. I love you, too, Sonee. Oh, by the way, you didn't think Sonichu and I were just living together the whole time? We got [''annotation: ''March 17, 2006. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!] married March 17th, 2006 at [[Angelica]]'s church. We kept our marriage outside of the comic pages, as well as our children, which we have three of. Two [[Rosey]]s and a [[Sonee]]. As to just not parently—permanen—prematurally miss the family-life during the early days of being online. We are staying offline for a while, bitches!

[''jump cut to drawing of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'']

[''[[Chris and music|sings]]''] Everybody's trying to break my spirit, keeping me down... but the fire in my heart keeps growing! Growing!

[''jump cut to cover of [[Sonichu 8]]'' ]

Alright, spring break! Next summer, we get [[Chris's Big Night Out|drunk]]. Woo!

[''jump cut to image of Sonichu and Rosechu in front of an American flag from ''Sonichu 8]

We, the electric hedgehogs and everybody in the city of CWCville as a [[C-ville]] within the state of Virginia, stand firm and strong as proud citizens of these United States that everybody have [[Twin Falling Towers|fought so hard for the freedom of.]]

[''jump cut to image of Rosechu from ''Sonichu 8]

WE HAVE VAGINAS, DUMBASSES!

[''jump cut to "Knothole" ad from ''Sonichu 8]

[[Parody|KNOTHOLE FROM BLAMMO! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUNDUN-DUNDUN!]]

[''jump cut to image of Blake and Bubbles from ''Sonichu 8]

Oh, yeah, they got married recently on July 4, 2009 [''annotation: ''July 4, 2009! A bit of Black Bubblie Goodness TONIGHT! :D]. Happy Independence Day, you lovebirds! [''cackles''] [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|TONIGHT]]!

[''jump cut to "Greta Squall" joke from ''Sonichu 8]

...leaving hundreds injured. For [[Excel Saga|ricto FQX]], I'm Greta Squall Magironi. Keep it real and rockin' hard at SPRING BREAK! WOO!

[''jump cut to cover of ''Sonichu 9]
Workin' on it! [''annotation: ''Workin' On It]

====One final tidbit (9:34 - 9:55)====
And now for one final tidbit a spit of retribution against Howard the fiend {{YoutubeAnnotation|What The Hells Were You Thinkin' With That Damn, Dirty Pickle Suit, Brine-Headed Nerd?}} from the cult of [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle-suited fiends]]. Divine retribution for that day you stole [[Emily]], [''gives the finger''] you damn watchman.

[''jump cut to picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Howard and a hedgehog'']

[''sings''] What the hells were you thinking with that damn pickle suit?

==Sources and notes==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]|nextlink=[[CWC More Than A Feeling]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-26]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-07-26]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-07-26]]

List of Chris's lies

2011-10-05T13:19:10Z

Ash link:

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|Rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his penis is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the Autism Tutorials, Chris claims he "fit in perfectly" with his high school classmates. The reality is he was socially awkward and generally disliked{{cite}}.

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

TheCWCvilleLibrary

2011-10-05T13:18:42Z

Ash link:

{{protip|TheCWCvilleLibrary is the TRUE and HONEST authoritative source for CWC videos. Use TheCWCvilleLibrary videos when possible.}}

[[Image:Curators.PNG|thumb|Max and Abejita, the two curators.]]

'''TheCWCvilleLibrary''' is a [[YouTube]] account which began as the final project of the now-retired Arjen Van Dierten when [[Chris|Chris's]] antics drove Arjen to [[death|Valhalla]].

The Library is currently run by The Curators, led by head curator [[User:Shiny Marshtomp|Abejita Cortez]] (a frantic [[Ricardo|Guatemalan]]), after the first head curator, [[BlueSpike|Max Milvania]], found himself in trouble with [[jerkops|authorities]] back in the former Soviet state of Georgia for his involvement with Georgia's breakaway Republic of [[Molvanîa]]; he has since been re-instated as a Curator that handles [[Sign Destruction Video|uploading things]] when the head curator is out.

Within the confines of the Library is everything Arjen (and now The Curators) has ever archived of Christian from the latest and not-so-greatest to a [[Chris humps his PS3|few rare gems]].

==Origins==
[[Image:AVDierten icon.jpg|thumb|Arjen's modest CWC video mirror channel would become the ultimate repository for all Chris related videos.]]

Initially, Chris blocked comments and ratings on his entries and deleted his [[videos]] at whim, forcing the patriotic Arjen to post mirrors of deleted CWC videos on YouTube with annotations for our [[lulz]]. At some point around the end of [[2008]], Chris allowed comments, but he continued deleting his videos with little or no warning. Ironically, he kept that [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|gay-bashing video]], just to show everyone [[I'm sorry, Dude|his apology]] for making it was insincere.

==Formation==

On 14 [[June 2009]], Arjen's final project, TheCWCvilleLibrary, received the last (at that point) 69 videos from his solo account. When Chris uploaded two new videos later that night, they went straight into the Library, bypassing the solo account entirely. Arjen then changed his profile to read [[Niggos|"The Pool is Closed,"]] then explained the existence and purpose of the Library to both [[ED]] and [[/cwc/]], lest anyone believe it was just yet another person trying to steal Arjen's thunder.

Two weeks later, AVD posted what would be his final missive<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dOMnum-id4]</ref> to the [[Internet]] and to Chris.

Since Chris [[100 2357.MOV|quit the Internet]] and deleted almost all of his videos on 22 [[November 2010]], TheCWCvilleLibrary is the only online source for earlier Chris-chan vids, and from 27 [[July 2011]] the only source for [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] vids as well.

Although Chris returned to the internet again in [[August 2011]], some of Chris's videos were flagged and taken down for hate speech. These videos are only available on TheCWCvilleLibrary.

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://youtube.com/TheCWCvilleLibrary TheCWCvilleLibrary] on [[YouTube]]

[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Sonichu 10

2011-10-05T13:18:25Z

Ash link:

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = Issue 10 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 15 September [[2008]]
| finishedcomic = 25 [[February 2010]] ([[Book10Replacement|revised 30 October 2010]])
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #10''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]), though he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
===October 2008 Preview===
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu #10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of [[2008]], the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the [[Medallion]].

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special ''Sonichu'' comic meant to be an excerpt from ''Sonichu'' #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and [[Blanca]]'s loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 [[January 2009]]. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the [[Time Void]] since the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time ''Sonichu'' #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as the cover of #10.

===Conflict with Asperpedia===
During the production of ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was pressuring Chris to kill or otherwise remove [[Simonla Rosechu]] from the comics, since she was based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Simonchu]] without his approval. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the CWCipedia, Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, are violently executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of ''Sonichu'' #10.

===Chris's Promise to Remove Himself From the Series===
As early as [[Sonichu Game Talk|28 August 2008]], Chris had acknowledged that the ''Sonichu'' series had become too focused on Chris rather than Sonichu and the others. He promised that once he returned from the [[Time Void]] that he would step down as Mayor of CWCville and appoint his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] to take his place. Chris seemed earnest about this, and he even mentioned his plan in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris_Will_Be_There..._Someday|Shigeru Miyamoto]] in January 2009. At the end of [[Sonichu 8|#8]], Chris teased "Next Book I get out of he Time Void", leading [[fans]] to assume he was going to step down as mayor in #9. Instead, Chris's escape from the Time Void was tacked onto the very end of the story, so he deferred his promise of pulling himself out of the books to Issue #10, where he could settle things with his remaining enemies.

And yet, after nearly several dozen pages of Chris slaughtering his foes, when the time came for him to address the people of CWCville, he announced that he would '''continue''' to be the Mayor, while Crystal would merely serve in an advisory role. Whether Chris plans to actually live up to his promise of staying out of the comics remains to be seen. [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]] started out Chris-free, but it was abandoned well before the conclusion of #10, which ends with Chris murdering someone with his super powers, then declaring his birthday to be a national holiday.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ77AMiIG7Q&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=58 ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 9|the last issue]]. However, in this version Chris adds more dialogue to the scene. Magi-Chan tells Chris how much everyone missed him during the nine months or so he was missing, and Chris announces his intentions to revenge himself on his various enemies. He also tells Wild and Magi-Chan that he briefly wound up in the year 2015, where he encountered [[Lovely Weather]] while participating in a medical study to cure homosexuality. In 2015, Weather and Chris are married, so he took him home, believing the Chris of 2008 to be her husband. Having [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], he then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

By June of 2015, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos|homosexuality]], but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. Chris is then vaccinated with the formula and is satisfied with the results. He grabs an additional two of the "cure" syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen. He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!).

But before sending him on his way, Chris uses Magi-Chan's telepathy to contact his allies to coordinate the rest of his master plan. He calls out to [[Allison Amber]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and his plastic instruments and send him to the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him in Clarksville by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]], [[Punchy]], and Wild to meet him and Sonichu in Clarksville so they can perform in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. Magi-Chan departs for the future, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===
[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
Before heading to Clarksville, Chris makes a stop at the Sonichu Site Filing Facility, a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear. Much like the 4-cent Garbage Building, this appears to be a brick-and-mortar avatar for [[Sonichu.net]]. It's even "hosted" by Tripod. He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the [[Devil Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris defeats them with ease, then starts talking about video games and the ESRB rating system for no reason. With his precious [[shit|content]] safe, Chris uses his powers to teleport all of it into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building to ensure no living thing escapes, '''and then fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

With that task completed, Chris contacts a [[Gal-pal]] for help setting up what would become [[CWCipedia]]. Next, he uses his foreknowledge of Lovely Weather to find her in a bookstore and set up their first date. After that, he contacts the CWCville Board of Directors, a previously unseen group who may play some role in the governance of the city. Once he informs them of his plan to commit mass murder in another state, he resumes his journey to Clarksville to settle the score with 4-cent Garbage.

===Operation: Grand Theft Medal===
''Note: Pages 13 - 20 of Sonichu #10 were drawn in October 2008 as a "preview", long before the rest of this issue was completed.''

As [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] monitors him on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[HEXBox]].

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]. Convinced these items will bring him victory, Chris waits patiently in front of the door, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place. Shouldn't Sonichu have beaten him there? He didn't have nearly as much dumb shit to do.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage.com building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

''This concludes the "preview" segment of the comic.''

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===
While waiting for the others, Chris meditates on a bench, unaware that Reldnahc Ha-Taque is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. At the last second, Chris senses the attack and blocks it. Chris declares his intention to defeat his dark counterpart once and for all, while Naitsirhc insists that he will Chris evil and [[homo|gay]]. The two of them battle it out in their sonichu forms until they hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..." He then rises up and stabs Reldnahc with the syringe, not in the heart, but straight in his [[Black Sonichu]] [[Medallion]]. The medallion shatters, and as Reldnahc transforms back into the totally straight Naitsirhc Giovanni, Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"'''

Chris teleports the unconscious Naitsirhc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, and he laments that he never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]] in his Reldnahc persona, but at least the evil homo is gone. Moments later, Son-Chu and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|The Hedgehog Boys]] arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap in Chris's car. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, he snaps his fingers, turning into his real life self (that is, various photos of Chris used in place of drawings). Whatever effect this was supposed to have is undermined by the fact that Chris is wearing a different shirt in real life than he was in the comic. So he stops to explain that the correct shirt was in the laundry. Chris commands Son-Chu to transform into a soundstage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] to perform. That's right, they plan to defeat the trolls with the power... of ROCK.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com===
Chris begins to play what the comic calls [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a set of badly written lyrics set to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Unlike the original song, which was about fucking, Chris's version complains about an eleven year old episode of a children's TV show. As Chris plays the instrumental part of the song, the 4-cent garbage Building begins to shake. Inside, Beel, [[Clyde Cash]], and [[Jack Thaddeus]] warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't withstand guitar licks of this magnitude, and they must escape before the whole place comes down around them. Jason agrees, but chooses to save only himself and [[Kathleen]]. As he readies for departure, he explains that he is STRAIGHT, and has decided to retire from trolling to settle down with Kathleen in a normal life. Beel also decided to save himself, leaving Clyde and Jack to die. With no way out, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as the building collapses around them.

Outside, Chris and his band continue their relentless barrage of rock until the entire building is reduced to a pile of rubble. The narration then reports on the aftermath, including a massive estimated death toll for the employees. Chris has the gall to say that he and "the rest of us heroes" cleaned up the rubble and called ambulances to save the very people he attacked. Chris sheds a tear over the senseless destruction he himself had perpetrated minutes earlier, almost as if doing so would [[Chris and Remorse|justify]] the [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|needless murder]] of over 100 people who made fun of him. He then quickly changes the subject by comparing the dead trolls to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''.

===Christian Love Day===
[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]
At that moment, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. He reports to Chris that testing on the Homo Vaccine in 2015 is a success and that he has delivered it to 2008, where it will be dispensed into the world's drinking water. Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]], in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible. Magi-Chan also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female, and she will fall in love with Magi-Chan.

Out of nowhere, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a fan of the comic series. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

Chris then pauses the story to make yet another rambling non-apology to his homosexual fanbase. Much like Sonichu's tantrum in [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Chris starts out with a very diplomatic tone, but then grows more defensive and confrontational, blaming the offensive nature of his comics on the readers' refusal to accept him and his characters as heterosexual. Chris begs his readers not to abandon him, but in spite of his apology, he made no effort to remove or redraw the content for which he was apologizing.

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
With gay people finally dealt with, Chris and Sonichu use the seven Sonichu Balls to transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, they communicate telepathically, and Chris orders Sonichu to [[RuleCWC]] while he heads back to CWCville. There, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. In RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, and she immediately showers Darkbind with gratitude for... Well, actually, he didn't do jack shit, but Sonichu's already married, so there you go.

===Mission in Minnesota===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]][[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]
Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan rendezvous over the home of [[Alec Benson Leary]]. After breaking in, Chris [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|inserts his finger]] into a USB port on Alec's computer (a HEXbox Pavillion), then concentrates and rips off ''[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]'' by placing himself inside the computer. Chris then deletes all files within the [[Asperpedia]] website, bans Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, and deletes their accounts for good measure. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator. Just in case he hadn't done enough damage, Chris blows up the computer as well.

Meanwhile, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. As he investigates the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu discovers Asperchu outside in the yard, along with Alec's version of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. When they see Ultra Sonichu, Alec's Hedgehog Pokemon treat him like a god, and beg forgiveness from Chris for the awful things Alec has made them do in his comics. They tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's, forced them to become gay, and compelled them to drop their real names as they impersonated their counterparts in CWCville. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure their Asperger's and give them new clothes. Asperchu himself is dramatically altered, becoming a [[homos|muscle-bound]] Sonichu known as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. In return for his help, Sonichu asks them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free.

When Chris comes outside to meet the others, they literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before him]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|but he appreciates the gesture]]. Together, they all defeat Metal Asperchu, then [[death threats|physically assault]] Alec Benson Leary off-panel. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Chris pauses the story once again to address the audience. This time, he denounces "Asperchu" and its depiction of the cast of "Sonichu". Impatiently, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even ''he'' is fed up with the constant interruptions.

===Return to CWCville===
Back in the Mayor's Office, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]], who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Ultra Sonichu and the four [[Basement Rosechus]] arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. After he drops them off, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]].

With all that nonsense out of the way, Ultra Sonichu flies to the flagpole of a tall building, where he expends the last of his Ultra Sonichu power to free all [[Jerkops]] from [[Slaweel Ryam]]'s mind control. Collosal Chan confronts her in the [[PVCC]], now deserted since all of the Jerkops gone back to their old lives. Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to release Graduon. Chris takes the wand and smashes it onto the floor. Chris then complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will defeat Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and Chris naturally defeats her with ease. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

===Christian Lies, Simonla Dies===
[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]
Following Mary's defeat, Chris holds a public assembly to update the city on recent developments. He announces Walsh's arrest and imprisonment, the emancipation of all Jerkops, and the legalization of homosexuality in CWCville. Gay marriage remains illegal, but seeing as how homosexuality is supposed to be eradicated a few months later, it doesn't seem to matter. Chris appoints his twin sister Crystal as a "social relations" assistant, and that he will continue to hold the office of mayor indefinitely. Chris also promises to make fewer appearances in future Sonichu comics.

During his speech, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. At the same time, Magi-Chan notices [[Evan]] in the rafters of the Mall, trying to cut down a massive TV screen hanging over the audience. He quickly paralyzes Evan, then spots [[Simonchu]] skulking behind a potted plant in a black cloak. Magi-Chan accuses him of trying to murder his own sister (Simonla, according to Chris). But they are just a diversion, as a third conspirator, Alec Benson Leary, has finished planing a Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the women's restroom, which he detonates once Simonla sits down to piss.

Wild accompanies Simonla to the hospital, and she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'') in case she doesn't make it. Wild sits on their egg in the waiting room, until at last [[Bill the Scientist]] informs him that she died in surgery. Wild swears revenge, but Magi-Chan reminds him that the killers are already in custody. At that moment, Wild's egg hatches. Wild names his daughter [[Sandy]] and Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her mother.

Wild assumes the burden of a single father, and within a week, Sandy evolves into a Rosechu, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Simonla.

===Trial of the Asperpedia Four===
[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of ''CWCVille v. Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao.'' Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for prosecuting attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing.

Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while "super-high". All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. Sean offers a rock in their defense, because they rock. Nevertheless, the jury convicts the Asperpedia Four and Judge Lewis sentences them to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
First, Alec is strapped to a "Ten-Button Electric Chair". Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu. Once all ten buttons are pressed, the chair electrocutes Alec, thus giving them all the satisfaction of killing him. For writing a parody comic.

Next, Evan is chained to a wall where Wild and Sandy can torture him as much as they please. Wild lets Sandy go first, and she takes his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there). She then bores holes all over his body with her drill hands (including his [[Pickle|crotch]]), before she and Wild finish him off together.

Sean is hung by his wrists in a room where Bill the Scientist, Allison Amber, and [[Kel]] shoot guns at him at pointblank range until he dies.

Finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]]''' with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before exploding his heart, without any remorse or justification of why, even noting that ''"his amends have been made"'' for doing so. Recall that one of the charges against the Asperpedia Four was for "[[Chris and hypocrisy|portryals(sic) of death in horrifying, gorey(sic) detail]]".

===Apology to the Asperpedia Four===
Strangely, throughout the scenes depicting the Asperpedia Four's arrest and trial, Chris includes flashbacks to his speech from just before Simonla's death. In these panels, Chris makes apologies and admissions as demanded by [[Alec Benson Leary]] in their [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|phone conversations]]

Chris admits the following:
*Alec has a fanbase comparable to Chris's own.
*Evan may have given Chris permission to use Simonchu in his comics, but Evan later withdrew that permission.
*Simonla was never Chris's character to use, being a blatant copy of Simonchu.
*Chris attempted to cover up the truth about how Simonchu inspired Simonla by editing her CWCipedia page.

Chris then makes the following apologies:
*To Evan, for creating Simonla without his permission.
*To Alec, for calling him [[naive]] over the phone.
*To Mao, for [[Curseyehameha|cursng him]]
*To Alec, for depicting Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu breaking into Alec's home and using Asperchu characters in this very issue.
*To Alec again, for implying that he kept four Rosechu's captive in his basement for sexual purposes.
*To the Sonichu [[fanbase]] for failing to update the CWCipedia regularly and writing disrespectful replies to fan mail in the [[Mailbag]].

Note that while Chris is conceding Alec's points in these panels, on the same pages he shows the Asperpedia Four being treated like base criminals. Most likely, this was Chris's way of fulfilling his agreement with Alec, but without actually giving him what he asked for.

===Conclusion===
Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Bill Pullman's speech in the movie "Independence Day".

The comic ends with a two-page dedication to the memory of [[PandaHalo]] including her original fanart and a page from her comic.

=="Extras"==

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===October 2008 Preview: Grand Theft Medal===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been stolen, the trolls posing as [[Blanca]] responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===February 2010 Preview: Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]].

===Depiction of the Asperpedia Four===
As #10 took months to complete, Chris added content to respond to criticism of the parts he had finished. For example, in one of the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|phone calls]] with Alec Benson Leary, Alec took exception to the way Chris depicted him and his characters on pages 51-70. Chris would later apologize for this on pages 86 and 87.

Upon the completion of the comic, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Alec called Chris again]] to take issue with the gruesome executions of himself, Sean, Evan and Mao.

On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Ultimately, Chris abandoned the Cwcipedia altogether in May.

When [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''. She would eventually nag Chris about completing the new ending to #10, if only to keep his promise to Alec.

==Revised ending version==
On 30 October 2010, at Jackie's insistence, Chris uploaded [[Book10Replacement|a video]] in which he presented the revision to the ending that he promised to Alec 6 months earlier. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming double entendre-spewing retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen Nicole Wallace is put in a maximum security prison for smoking pot.

However, Jackie asked Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref> to make a different kind of comic altogether, where Mayor Chris has a parade of forgiveness and understanding in CWCville, acknowledging Alec's helpful intentions. She made this request due to an earlier chat where Chris had said he's forgiven Alec, and she wanted this comic to show that Chris stands by his words. However, Chris failed to deliver the comic exactly as requested, and admitted to Jackie that this was due to his ongoing hatred of Alec's [[homos|homosexuality]], [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]] and [[JERKS|JERKness]], completely missing the point of the exercise, even when Jackie was very clear in explaining ''why'' she wanted the pages to be redone.

Chris later revised his plans<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]]</ref> for the remake: The Asperpedia Four would be found not guilty, Chris would give shoutouts to Cwcipedia admins, and then [[TrollBusters|Calvin and Dee^2]] would take the four into their custody for the parade. For the parade, they would be displayed on two floats: Mao and Evan would be on a float together, branded as "busted Cyber-Bullies/Trolls", while Alec and Sean would be "promoted as the next Dark Humor Comic Authors". So despite being found "not guilty", the parade seems more like a Roman triumph in Chris's honor, with his captured enemies included as an example of his glory. After all that, the Asperpedia Four would then go to the Amish commune of their own volition and start new lives there with their relatives.

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Episode 21 - Director's Amenities
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:438px-Issue_10_Disclaimer.jpg
File:SchuComic10P1.jpg
File:SchuComic10P2.jpg
File:SchuComic10P3.jpg
File:SchuComic10P4.jpg
File:SchuComic10P5.jpg
File:SchuComic10P6.jpg
File:SchuComic10P7.jpg
File:SchuComic10P8.jpg
File:SchuComic10P9.jpg
File:SchuComic10P10.jpg
File:SchuComic10P11.jpg
File:SchuComic10P12.jpg
File:SchuComic10P13.jpg
File:SchuComic10P14.jpg
File:SchuComic10P15.jpg
File:SchuComic10P16.jpg
File:SchuComic10P17.jpg
File:SchuComic10P18.jpg
File:SchuComic10P19.jpg
File:SchuComic10P20.jpg
File:SchuComic10P21.jpg
File:SchuComic10P22.jpg
File:SchuComic10P23.jpg
File:SchuComic10P24.jpg
File:SchuComic10P25.jpg
File:SchuComic10P26.jpg
File:SchuComic10P27.jpg
File:SchuComic10P28.jpg
File:SchuComic10P29.jpg
File:SchuComic10P30.jpg
File:SchuComic10P31.jpg
File:SchuComic10P32.jpg
File:SchuComic10P33.jpg
File:SchuComic10P34.jpg
File:SchuComic10P35.jpg
File:SchuComic10P36.jpg
File:SchuComic10P37.jpg
File:SchuComic10P38.jpg
File:SchuComic10P39.jpg
File:SchuComic10P40.jpg
File:SchuComic10P41.jpg
File:SchuComic10P42.jpg
File:SchuComic10P43.jpg
File:SchuComic10P44.jpg
File:SchuComic10P45.jpg
File:SchuComic10P46.jpg
File:SchuComic10P47.jpg
File:SchuComic10P48.jpg
File:SchuComic10P49.jpg
File:SchuComic10P50.jpg
File:SchuComic10P51.jpg
File:SchuComic10P52.jpg
File:SchuComic10P53.jpg
File:SchuComic10P54.jpg
File:SchuComic10P55.jpg
File:SchuComic10P56.jpg
File:SchuComic10P57.jpg
File:SchuComic10P58.jpg
File:SchuComic10P59.jpg
File:SchuComic10P60.jpg
File:SchuComic10P61.jpg
File:SchuComic10P62.jpg
File:SchuComic10P63.jpg
File:SchuComic10P64.jpg
File:SchuComic10P65.jpg
File:SchuComic10P66.jpg
File:SchuComic10P67.jpg
File:SchuComic10P68.jpg
File:SchuComic10P69.jpg
File:SchuComic10P70.jpg
File:SchuComic10P71.jpg
File:SchuComic10P72.jpg
File:SchuComic10P73.jpg
File:SchuComic10P74.jpg
File:SchuComic10P75.jpg
File:SchuComic10P76.jpg
File:SchuComic10P77.jpg
File:SchuComic10P78.jpg
File:SchuComic10P79.jpg
File:SchuComic10P80.jpg
File:SchuComic10P81.jpg
File:SchuComic10P82.jpg
File:SchuComic10P83.jpg
File:SchuComic10P84.jpg
File:SchuComic10P85.jpg
File:SchuComic10P86.jpg
File:SchuComic10P87.jpg
File:SchuComic10P88.jpg
File:SchuComic10P89.jpg
File:SchuComic10P90.jpg
File:SchuComic10P91.jpg
File:SchuComic10P92.jpg
File:SchuComic10P93.jpg
File:SchuComic10P94.jpg
File:SchuComic10P95.jpg
File:SchuComic10P96.jpg
File:SchuComic10P97.jpg
File:SchuComic10P98.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Asperchu]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?bxbbbf1b042nwrb Download .rar of Sonichu #10]
 

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

Sonichu (species)

2011-10-05T13:18:06Z

Ash link:

'''Sonichu''' is the name used for male specimens of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

By having an entire species have the same name as a [[Sonichu (character)|"unique" being]] and giving all of its members the same surname, Chris has only served to confound his readers, [[Jamsta Sonichu|mess up continuity]], and demonstrate that he's a lazy and unimaginative bastard.
== Appearance ==

Sonichus generally resemble [[Sonic|bipedal hedgehogs]] in appearance, standing around four and a half feet tall, with thick hides and large spikes (which are flexible so they can give hugs to each other without causing injury)<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_36]</ref>, though they have [[Pikachu|elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts]]. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare Sonichu feet may make it impossible for a Sonichu to stand without them.

While a typical sonichu has [[Pikachu|yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones]] (if we are to assume that the [[Sonichu (character)|original Sonichu]] is the template), Sonichus can come in a variety of recolors. Sometimes, a Sonichu displays other variations, such as [[Magi-chan|altered ear tips]], [[Punchy|slanted eyes]], or a [[Wild|different tail altogether]]. The fur color of a Sonichu is susceptible to alteration by chemicals such as [[Blake|Cherry Cola]].

== Behavior ==

Though clearly not very intelligent, Sonichus are sapient and are capable of many of the same skills as humans: [[Pocket knife|Tool usage]], [[Speech impediment|speech]] and [[Autism|social interaction]]. In their [[CWCville|natural habitat]], Sonichus fill a number of societal roles: [[Chaotic Combo|vigilante groups]], [[Jamsta|radio announcers]], and [[Simonla|construction]] [[Sandy|workers]], using whatever supernatural abilities granted to them.

Sonichus are [[Love Quest|constantly searching for a mate]], and perhaps with some [[Dating education|assistance]] will "fall in love" (read: settle for in order to have sex with) with the first Rosechu they see ([[Magi-Chan|assuming they are heterosexual]]). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, Sonichu-Rosechu mates [[Chris and writing|completely lack tension or discord]], suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the [[Sonee and Rosey|extremely low capabilities of said spawn]], this may be a necessity.

==Sonichus and reproduction==

A Sonichu's [[penis]] and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the [[pickle|penis]] can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P103.jpg]</ref> This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's core temperature is not ideal for sperm production, thus, unless Sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, Sonichus should be sterile. ([[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Unfortunately, they are not.]]). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the Sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that [[Honor roll|people who have no knowledge of biology]] should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Sonichus' sperm count is extremely low when compared to humans. The number of sperm cells released by a Sonichu per ejaculation stands at a couple of thousands at most and can be as low as mere hundreds. <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P105.jpg]</ref> In comparison, human sperm count must be at least over 15 million sperm cells per milliliter in order to be considered healthy. <ref>[http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/cooper_et_al_hru.pdf World Health Organization reference values for human semen characteristics]</ref>

Chris has mentioned that a [[Sonee]] is born as the result of intercourse between a Sonichu and a Rosechu, or some combination of the above and a [[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]] [[Pokémon]]<ref name="Sonichu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu's [[CWCipedia]] article]</ref>. Presumably a Ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

{{Clear}}

==Sonichus and evolution==

[[Image:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|Sonichu evolution chart]]

The infant Sonee is first born in egg-form from a Rosechu mother. When the egg hatches, a sonee comes out. This infant [[pokémon]] can already have a certain sub-type; [[Wild]], for instance, was born as a green sonee with a grass subtype. After being nurtured for some time, the sonee then evolves into his sonichu form.

In a strip from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] called, an evolution of Sonichu called [[Metonic]] can be seen.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic0P28.jpg 25 Years Later]</ref> According to the strip and an ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card<ref>[[:File:208-CMetonicBck.jpg]]</ref> from the [[scrapbook]], Sonichu evolves into Metonic by being traded while holding a Metal Coat. However, Chris stated that only the original Sonichu can evolve into Metonic.<ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref><ref name="Sonichu article" /> He also stated that "[T]he [rest of the Sonichus and Rosechus] have no '''current''' evolutions" (emphasis added) <ref name="mail 10" />, leaving it open for him to devise separate evolutions for them in the future.

In [[Sonichu 10#Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan|episode 21]], Sonichu transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] after being brought into contact with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], although the change was temporary. As with Metonic, this evolution is exclusive to the original Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu article" />

Despite all being Electric in their primary type, no sonichu other than the [[Sonichu (character)|original]] and his clone [[Blake]] has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of Electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

==List of Sonichus==

* [[Sonichu]]
* [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu)
* [[Blazebob Sonichu]]
*[[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Bobby Sonichu]]
* [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Colossal Chan]] (half-human transformation)
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|IBAChandler Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[DJ Jamsta]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
*[[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Michael Sonichu]]
*[[Asperchu parodies#Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Sonichu]]
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (transformation)
*[[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Swift Sonichu]]
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (transformation)
*[[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Whisp Sonichu]]
* [[Wild Sonichu]]

==See also==

*[[Rosechu (species)]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Sonichus]]

White knight

2011-10-05T13:17:50Z

Ash link:

[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of Bob and Barbara's sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's parents have been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that his parents should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so his parents can enjoy the last few years of their lives in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]

Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris made himself an outcast===
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to circumstances that cannot be foreseen, he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

[[Svenka]] is a counter-troll.

On 6 [[May 2009]], [[YouTube]] user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.

====TV Tropes====
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Response to ADF

2011-10-05T13:13:42Z

Ash link:

'''Response to ADF''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 29 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris responds to [[Jack Thaddeus|Ahuviya]] after he uploaded [http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Why_Philadelphia_is_so_much_Greater_than_CWCville two] [http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Advice_for_Chris-chan_from_Ahuviya_Harel videos] in response to Chris calling him out.

Chris provides yet another halfhearted explanation on why he doesn't like the [[homos|gays]], but has no problem with lesbians (read: they give him a boner) and gives his approval for gay marriage. He claims to have empathy and believes that he can't get a job because of all the "slanderous smut and shit" on him that shows up all over the internet, and can't move out because of his parents' age and physical disabilities. Chris also quotes "[[wikipedia:Free Bird|Free Bird]]" by [[wikipedia:Lynyrd Skynyrd|Lynyrd Skynyrd]] (or "Leonard Skynerd" as he puts it), which is also the only song from the band that appears in [[Guitar Hero]]. Chris wishes Ahuviya good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of "femdom" and calls him a "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about gay acceptance.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Response to ADF
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}} {{Tragedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Sky_Nerd.jpg|thumb|If I whined like a virgin, would you please have sex with me?]]
This is my video response to... Ahuviya, who has apparently taken upon himself to, uh... record his response without wearing his face, optionally or leaving it out. So I'm just going to respond directly with my, uh- a few of my own thoughts. First off, I uh- now... I am heterosexual, [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|I am straight]], and that's just the way I am! It's not a have-to situation, I've never seen it ev- rarely seen it that way, I have at one point, but guess what, I've seen the other viewpoints, and they did not treat de ne- did not fair to me as s- so much, they gross me- they mostly gross me out. Therefore... that is what I am, and I am happy to stay that way, and I want to continue to be [[Chris and English|heteroseshual]]. I am happy with myself there.

And I would admit that with other people, there are differences that I feel most uncomfortable about and around, such as... yes, gays... gay men anyway. ''[disgusted look; blows a raspberry]'' I like lesbians. [[Tobacky|Smokers]], definitely the smokers. Can anybody tell me why smoking isn't stupid? I don't think so. And just most other males in gender- in general, because I get along better with women anyway. That's not really my fault, that's just part of my dang brain function with the missing links in my... brain and whatever. But that does not define me as an uncaring and cold-hearted person! [[Chris and Remorse|I have empathy]]! I seek- I can see myself in other people's shoes and see how they would feel if I has- if I- with my responses into whatever situations.

And yet you may- while you may or may not have empathy as well, Ahuviya, [[Chris and hypocrisy|I feel you to still be a typical non-understanding pig]]! I would go- I would travel outside of the state if where- or wherever if I could but, because A: I have- I'm on [[Chris and money|low funds]], and I would get a job... but unfortunately, because of all the shit that's against me on the Internet... between the [[CWCki|hate-filled webpages]] that y'all [[trolls]] and cyberbullies have created against me, and the past videos that I was [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|blackmailed]] and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|deceived]] and just plain forced into creating, with such [[Sonichu 8|derogatory graphic smut]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|literal shit]] within them, it just makes it that much more difficult for me to be able to get a job. 'Cuz they do the background checks, look up [[Facebook]]s and look on [[YouTube]] and look everywhere! They don't just do [[Chris and the law|criminal records]] anymore, ask anybody!

And I would travel if I could, but my parents are both old. [[Bob|My father is ill]]. He's sickly. He has [[Chris and English|feet-bloatings]]. And he has ailments that doctors are unable to determine, and at this point he is certified as a forced shut-in! He cannot get out so much, 'cuz he feels so ill and sickly in his feet. And I ''do'' get out of my house, I go out here and there and everywhere, so don't tell me that I don't get out! "I'm free as a bird and this bird... peep- and this bird you cannot change!" Yes, I learned from Leonard Skynerd, and I like that song.

And listen- and I want you to listen here. I'm all for equality, but there is a limit! ''[Chris hits the camera]'' I do not want to be forced or intimidated into or bullied into lifestyles that I just ''not am of'', or feel comfortable around! And this was a country where... people would not feel forced to do anything... then, whatever! And yes, marriage should be between two happy people, regardless of, uh, gender or whatever. But I'm still gonna feel most uncomfortable around homosexual dudes, regardless! And just most other males in general, hell, I probably won't even have a bachelor party 'cuz I don't know so many [[JERKS|males]], I'd probably be having a bachelor party mostly constituted with those within my congregation who I'm only acquainted with, like, one or two of. Hell, I would even appreciate having a bachelor party where I had all my [[gal-pals]] come and hold it for me! I'd rather have a bachelor party with... where it was... shoot, I'm trying the think of the word, um... well anyway, with m- anyway, with mostly women, 'cuz I feel more comfortable ar- around women. Platonic, that's the word I would use, the party would be platonic.

And likewise, if my bride had mostly male friends, I'd let her hang out with them platonically as well for her bride party. And you know what, I don't care whether I get a bachelor party or not, around the time I do get married. Because that's just- that's just me. And I cannot be changed. So I would- so I would say, good luck being a [[tomgirl|fake woman]] because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male, 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your [[pickle|dick]] either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.

Anyway, that's my response for now.

Damn homo.

==Sources==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Victory Rockout]]|nextlink=[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal]]}}
{{Calling Out}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-29 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal

2011-10-05T13:13:29Z

Ash link:

'''Christopher Paul Whitney reveal''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 30 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris deflates the big fat balloon of [[Alec Benson Leary]] a day ahead of schedule.

Chris-chan reveals the real face behind [[Asperchu]], then proceeds to spend the remainder of the video mocking Alec by [[Random Access Humor|beatboxing]], [[Chris and health#Nutrition|eating a cheap microwave pizza]], and [[Chris and Hypocrisy|calling Alec fat]] whilst assuring everyone he's [[Chris and reality|thin]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s8wuTuzw-84}}
| stardate = 30 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Other|Food}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Response to ADF]]
| next = [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:ChrisPizza.gif|right|A shining example of Chris's exquisite table manners. Note the way he shoves the food down his mouth with his hands, not even bothering with a fork, knife or plate, and chews with his mouth open.]]

'Tis another fine day - for REVEALING - 'cuz I have not heard 'nything from ''[applies pedo-glasses]'' [[Alec Benson Leary]], also known as Christopher, annnnnd the due date has been reached! It is time for total...rev-yellation! ''[Chris spins the camera to show Alec's profile on the TV]''

Alec Benson Leary. His real name is Christopher Paul "[[Obesity|Fat Man]]" Whit-neeyyy! From Antonio Tetsas- San Antonio, Texas. Age: 36. [[Chris_and_money#But_wait.2C_Chris_isn.27t_employed.21|Unemployed and on welfare!]] His interest include: hot tubbing, [[video games]], retirement, [[Hex Box|Xbox]], folk music, theft and frauuud, milk, comics, and dip. Aannnnd ''[operatic]'' ''eating onliiiiine!''

He's responsible for [[Asperchu]], [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], and all mockings and slanders associated, and copyright infringement, upon my own characters of Sonichu and-and Asperchu somewhere else. He also has ties wit da Game Place, do-nay-shins and and what not.

Yeah. He's that famous, hot-tubbin' fat man on youtube, makin' mud...and, guess what, eating online! And recently, he ate a whole block a cheese! ''[operatic]'' ''A whole block of cheeeeeeese~!''

''[MC CWC breaks it down]'' 
Ah-Ah, Ah-Ah, Oh Yeah! 
Ah-Ah, Aussie-Dossie! 
Ah-Ah, Aussie-Dossie! 
Ah-Ah, Aussie-Dossie! 
Oh Yeah, Aussie-Dossie! 
Ah-Ah, Aussie-Dossie! 
Oh, yeah! 

And now for the salt on the wound! [[SpaghettiRoutine|I will be eating online! For the once-time, this time!]] To be enjoyed! Ha-haa! We have here a cheese-stuffed [[Chris_and_health#Nutrition|microwaveable pepperoni pizza!]] And un can of ''teeeea!'' Let the fiest begin!

''[Chris devours the pizza, munching on it for a minute before holding up the remains to the camera, enjoying the hell out of that pizza]'' Cheesy goodness, within the crust! ''[Chris eats the rest, cleans his hands with a paper towel and drinks the tea]'' Mmm, that was ''good!''

''[MC CWC brings the remix]'' 
Oh Yeah, Aussie-Dossie! 
Oh Yeah, Aussie-Dossie! 
Oh Yeah, but a big difference! 
[[Obesity#Denial|He's ''fat!'' Iiiiii'm thin]]! 

And believe it or not, he's even fatter than [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]! Of which, he has met the deadline, with his apology video, and left the internet for good, so nothing else will be revealed about him! So live in peace, Master Tito! But, Christopher Paul, your big fat balloon has been deflated! ''[Chris mimes a balloon being popped]'' Stay tuned.

==Sources==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Response to ADF]]|nextlink=[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-30 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category: Yo! CWC Raps]]

I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat

2011-10-05T13:13:13Z

Ash link:

{{Quote|I can definitely do a british accent.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>}}

'''I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 14 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris dresses as a wizard (wearing his graduation gown)<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> in the Harry Potter universe and "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|casts spells]]" on an assortment of people who have wronged him. He said he would draw a lightning-bolt scar, but the video is [[Chris and camerawork|too dark to see if he did so]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

The video was made for [[Jackie]], who wanted the title to be "I put on my robe and wizard hat"<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref>, in reference to an old meme.<ref>[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja Bloodninja: I put on my robe and wizard hat...]</ref>

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat
| video = {{#ev:youtube|iWSi64WBy08}}
| stardate = 14 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2279‎]]
| next = [[100 2281‎]]
}}

{{quote|Ericcus trollisus ericcus bustisus!}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|100px|[[Bob]] puts on ''his'' [[Chris and Race#Parental influence|Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]]]

[''Chris comes into view, wearing a robe over his shirt and waving his PlayStation Move controller. He's heavily backlit, so we mainly just see his silhouette.'']

Aye, I have been in the world of Hogwarts and I have a learned a spell or two, and I shall [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cast ye spell]].

[''He makes some motions with the Move controller.'']

On all ye vandals out there, who have cursed my name. For I am a straight man! And you all are the homosexuals, because you mislabel me and misjudge me. And now you shall be [[Chris and English|bespelled, and be spelled!]]

[''He pauses to wave his wand some more.'']

You speak ill of me and you speak of bad judgment, you shall have a pain in the leg! Ericcus trollisus ericcus bustisus!

[''Having finished his incantation, Chris leans over and turns off the camera.'']

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2279‎]]|nextlink=[[100 2281‎]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-14]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-14]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-14]]

XBox is OK.MOV

2011-10-05T13:12:56Z

Ash link:

'''XBox is OK.MOV''' is the second of two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 13 [[September 2010]]. In it, Chris makes various declarations including a recanting of his [[Hex Box|Xbox]] hatred, stating that he has nothing against the [[homos|gay men]], and removing any [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] he placed.

Chris's recantations were, of course, merely a bid to impress Jackie, who had mentioned her fondness of the [[HEXBox]]<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 13]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> and dislike of Chris's homophobia.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]]</ref>

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = XBox is OK.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kuFd7Q-Gpes}}
| stardate = 13 [[September 2010]]
| style = {{smug|text}}, {{reason|text}}
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]
| next = [[Song for Jackie.MOV]]
}}

{{quote|I have no...I have no hate... I have little... I have no hatred or anger towards the gay men. None at all. No questions, straight forward. I'm cool with...I'm cool with you gays, you know?}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate September 13, 2010.

I am making this video to make a public statement.

I no longer have any angst or hatred or anything, any beef, against the Xbox. It is a good console, a very good console, prob-a about equally good as a PS3, cannot play Blu-ray, but! It is still a good console and is just another gaming console. Just like...you know, I guess, PS...a PS3 is another gaming console, another [[Wii]], or a Wii is another gaming console.

[''Turns to his TV''] And you notice that there's a depreciation in the number of gaming consoles in the center [''gestures at the TV; Chris's [[:File:ModNation XBox360ko.jpg|Xbox 360ko]] [[ModNation Racers|Mod]] is visibly idling on the screen''] because, the gaming addiction is gooone! I... [[Autism|[''loses train of thought momentarily'']]] I have gotten rid of the hoarded systems - [[List of Chris's games|systems and games]] that have been, I have hoarded for a number of years.

And also, I would like to make another statement. [''Looks away from the camera''] I have no...I have no hate... I have little... I have [[Chris and anger|no hatred or anger]] towards the gay men. [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|None at all.]] No questions, straight forward. [''Chris looks visibly insincere''] I'm cool with...[[It's UGH!|I'm cool with you gays]], you know? You go do what you want to do, just you know, [[Honest Content|keep it to yourselves]]. That's all. We're all equal people. We have every right to live our lives free however...each, however each of us individually chooses. So there.

[''pauses and shifts positioning'']

[''mumbles''] Uh, let's see that was another thing...another thing. Hmm.

Anyway that's, uh, that's essentially it. Oh yes I just remembered the other thing. [''Holds up a hand in forgiveness blessing fashion''] I remove ALL [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|hexes and curses]] to every single person I have ever...around the world that I have ever left a curse on. So consider yourselves [''wave of his arm''] cleansed! [[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|You're all forgiven.]] Every last one of you. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness!]]

And with that I bid you a good day and a safe one too, all of you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Song for Jackie.MOV]]}}
==Sources==
<references/>
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-13 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-09-13 b]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2010-09-13 b]]

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)

2011-10-05T13:12:39Z

Ash link:

{{Honest}}

[[Image:DVDReleaseCut.jpg|thumb|Chris-chan: Because making a homemade DVD about yourself justifies your existence.]]

'''''Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)''''' is [[Chris's]] homemade DVD, featuring various video clips Chris had made before his Internet fame, and also his actual, if meager, TV appearances. Despite its title, very little of the material on the DVD was ever featured on TV.

Chris originally sent copies of the DVD only to a select few people, but nevertheless thought him making the DVD was an [[Chris and his Ego|important enough achievement]] to mention repeatedly in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] and elsewhere. He also believed that people would actually be interested of buying a copy along with other merchandise, and even planned a [[Sony|Blu-ray]] release.<ref>[[3 December 2009]]</ref> Suffice to say, the disc was actually burned with a Magnavox DVD recorder out of material that appears to have been transferred off of VHS tapes, and doesn't actually approach commercial quality, even if it actually had any interesting content that people would actually pay for. Chris possibly thinks that lack of content and video quality that was abysmal to begin with will mysteriously look better when burned on [[Sonichu 10|hi-def]] discs.

Naturally, since this relic was so profoundly ''important'' in Chris's mind, it piqued the curiosity of the trolls, and a copy was eventually obtained by [[LordSillynipples]] by posing as Chris's childhood friend and first crush, [[Tiffany Robinson]].

==Tracklisting==

===''C.W.C. On TV'' Trailer===
To reduce marketing costs, Chris put the trailer for the DVD directly into the DVD. The trailer provides a summary of the rest of the features, in case you don't want to melt your brain by actually watching the whole DVD.

===[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|C.W.C. Super Sonic Winner!!!]]===
From 26 February [[1990s#1994|1994]], shortly after Christian's 12th birthday. Local news coverage of him winning a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' contest and earning a $1,000 shopping spree for video games. To date the pinnacle of Christian's entire existence, this event fueled the delusional manchild he is today.

===[[Song of Christian]]===
Filmed on 15 May [[1990s#1998|1998]], when Christian was sixteen. Presented as an episode of ''The Christian Chandler Show'', Christian gives a dramatic reading of a poem he wrote about himself. He then spends twenty minutes explaining the meaning of each line, about fifteen minutes of which is dedicated to him leafing through his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].

===[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway#Prototype|''Mario Kart 64'' LEGO Raceway Prototype]] Animation===

===[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' LEGO Raceway]] Animation by C.W.C. on Game Boy Camera===
Filmed on 4 June [[1990s#1998|1998]].

Hey, do you like ''Mario Kart''? Do you like LEGO Blocks? Do you like stop-motion animation? More importantly, do you like hearing the same fifteen-second clip of music played over and over and over while you watch grainy black-and-white 8-bit footage of LEGO men getting into car wrecks? Then this is the clip for you!

'''SPOILER:''' LEGO Christian wins the race. [[Chris and his Ego|No surprises there.]]

===[[The City of Cwicville Tour!|Unfinished CWCville Tour]]===
Filmed 12 July [[2000s#2001|2001]].

===[[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|OH BOY!]]
Filmed 16 October [[1990s#1999|1999]]. The local news media do a fluff piece on the rise of the ''Pokémon'' fandom, and Chris happens to be among the small children playing the game. This clip provides the DVD cover with its money line:

{{quote|I'll send out my Dragonair, even though it has 60 Damage on it. Oh boy! It has 3 Energy on it... Slam Attack!}}

===Christian Chandler's [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]]===
Filmed 22 November [[2000s#2003|2003]]. An hour-long video of Christian playing ''Animal Crossing''. If the video is any indication, ''Animal Crossing'' is about as exciting to watch as organizing files in Microsoft Windows.

===[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special|C.W.C.'s ''Animal Crossing''/''Mario Paint'' 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]===
Created in honor of [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] Chandler's anniversary, on 7 June [[2004]].

===[[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need A Cute Girl" Music Video]]===
Filmed 20 [[2004#December|December 2004]]. Music video for the lead single off [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian's debut album]].

===Chris Chan's [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' Commercial]]===
Filmed 24 February [[2005]]. Christian enters a contest where the goal is to deliver a creative advertisement for a ''Harvey Birdman'' DVD. He instead blathers on about himself, ''Sonichu'', and Mary Lee Walsh. The time constraints laid out in the contest rules are obvious, as Christian struggles to cram his [[random-access humor]] into a thirty-second soundbite so that he sounds like the Micro Machines man.

===Chris Chan's [[Pixelated PS3]]===
Filmed on 28 November [[2006]]. Christian enters another contest requiring him to shill a product in under a minute, this time a PlayStation 3. To answer the question "What would you do for a PS3?", Chris first explains everything he would like to do but won't (e.g., save up the money and go to a store), and would but can't (forsake a cure for autism), before revealing that he has constructed a PS3 from LEGO blocks and [[Pixelblocks]].

===C.W.C.'s SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics===
Still images taken from [[1980s#1982|1982]]-[[2007]] with interspersed commentary that gives new insight into Chris's past. The accompanying audio is from Chris's "Station [[KCWC]]" mix tapes and his Christian and the Hedgehog Boys album.

===[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]===
Filmed 24 February [[2007]]. In celebration of his milestone 25th birthday, Chris delivers an address summarizing the lessons he has learned in his life and how they should be applied by future generations of "ladies and gentlemen and dudes of all teenages."

==Great Director's Cut==
As a way to save face after the DVD was leaked onto the Internet, Chris claimed<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref> that the trolls didn't have the "Director's Cut", which includes footage of Chris's [[Christmas]] from [[2004]] and takes from the [[Pixelated PS3]] commercial.

Some argue that Chris might be bluffing, but even if the content does exist, it seems likely that it was an afterthought made after Chris got trolled so that only he would own the TRUE and HONEST copy. And even if trolls were able to obtain the Director's Cut, Chris could pull a George Lucas and say he has a Special Edition DVD. And if that gets stolen, he'll pull a Disney and say he has a "Diamond Edition" DVD.

He later told [[Regina]] that he has a "Master Copy" with over ''six hours'' of tedious crap.<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>

==Images from the Physical DVD==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:062-CWCsDVD.jpg|Cover.
Image:DVDReleaseCut.jpg|The cover of the release edition.
Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|And the Director's Cut Edition.
Image:063-1-CWCsDVD Label.jpg|Even DVD labels cannot be spared from the horror.
Image:ChrisDVDCD2.jpg|We asked for a "disc image". The torrent went up later, but this was delivered as a cop-out.
Image:CHRISDVD.jpg|Parental Advisory - VERY HONEST content.
Image:ChrisDVD3.jpg|Chapter menu, complete with Magnavox DVD/VCR styling.
Image:CHRISletter.jpg|Letter to troll who received DVD.
Image:Chrislist1.jpg|''Chandler's List'' - It's like ''Schindler's List'', except you'd want to be sent to a gas chamber.
Image:Chrislist2.jpg|'''Spoiler:''' Most of these people went to school with Chris and probably have no idea who he is.
Image:Chrislist3.jpg|And here's the last page.
Image:Chrispaper1.jpg|"Now I'm even more perverted, sexist, and homophobic."
Image:Chrispaper2.jpg|People who Chris couldn't find pictures of to include - consider yourselves lucky.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?injjxctj5wi Torrent (with working trackers)]
* [http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=6581777D1899DCB6 Entire DVD on YouTube.]
* [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/ Contents of DVD slideshow.]
* [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EL8AHJ8P Slideshow download.]

{{CWC on TV}}
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

List of Chris's edits to the CWCki

2011-10-05T13:12:25Z

Ash link:

[[Image:chrisshotweb.jpg|thumb|right|Summary of the incident.]]
After Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] in [[March 2010]], he [[Cwc_blog#14 March 2010|demanded]] that pages related to his family and [[Gal-Pal]]s be removed, giving two deadlines. Around midnight on [[April 2010|1 April]], past the second deadline, he decided to attack CWCki, signing up as [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]]. In true CWC style, his [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|vandalism]] was [[fail|less than impressive]]. In fact, due to the fact that he made them on April Fools' Day, many users just assumed that it was an elaborate and lulzy prank on the part of the administrators. But no, it was f'real. Christian's posts were aimed at altering the articles he vandalized to make the CWCKi seem to be praising him. As usual Chris's [[Chris and English|tenuous grasp of grammar]] made his edits stand out like a sore thumb. Chris later returned under the guise of [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]], making several posts from 5 [[May 2010]] to 13 [[July 2010]].

Although Chris originally demanded that the CWCki's administrators only edit or remove pages related to his friends and family, it is perhaps telling that when he finally set himself to actively vandalizing the site, he ignored those pages, choosing instead to make edits [[Chris and his Ego|glorifying himself]].

Listed below are all of Chris's edits made on both his accounts, unedited by trolls and exactly as he originally wrote them. Exception is made for headings, which in the quoteboxes where Chris put a heading is replaced with '''bold text'''.

==GodofThunderGodofWar==
===1 April, 12:35===
His first action was to edit the Did You Know? column, removing the majority of the factoids while adding a few of his own, most of which were merely rewrites of existing comments.

{{quotebox|
*...This webiste, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL?
*...that Christian Chandler ALWAYS IS the mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are not to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys healthy food, good drinks and just necessities with Good Money?
*...that Chris has been recording himself as early as [[10th grade]]?
}}

The following comments however, were left untouched.

{{quotebox|
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Chris]]'s sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris.27s_antics|Level Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
:*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is ''[E-Mail My Heart]''?*
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
}}

The unaltered DYK factoids were probably left alone because Chris failed to [[autism|notice the sarcasm]] in the comments and mistook them for compliments. [[Naive|On a troll site]]. It should also be noted that the comment about Pixelblocks was also untouched, save for Chris adding the word "not" in the middle. It was likely he perceived it to be a spelling mistake and decided to correct it, even though the word "neither" instead of "either" later in the sentence makes Chris's edit ''adding'' a mistake instead. The broken "10th grade" link was also caused by Chris, as the original version of this factoid linked to the [[Song of Christian]] instead.

*Altered for this article. This normally links to a [[Youtube]] video, but external links mess with the quotebox.

===1 April, 12:42===
He then changed the Article of the Now from [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] to himself.

{{quotebox|
[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|right|200px|lolwut.]]

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], Honest, Cool and Honest Dude, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[brilliant]] character, starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of most Normal Human Beings; Finding their Meaning of Existence, Their True Love, Their own Self-Character. No One should ever interfere or ever make a mockery of such a tride and true quest to finding HIS own Happiness with his WOMAN who is to be his Wife.

Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter.
}}

This edit is stands as perhaps the most condensed essence of Christian to ever emerge in pseudo-paragraph format. Between the utter butchery of the English language, blatant ego stroking, and unintentional creepiness ("Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter") Christian pretty much manages to sum up what legions of trolls have spent nearly half a decade trying to record for the world. Also note that, while on a website dedicated to trolling him, he still attempts to insert links to other parts of the wiki. In all likelihood, Chris planned to vandalize these elements as well but stopped due to [[stress]]. In the original edit, the link "brilliant" instead linked to the [[Fail]] page. Much like the 10th Grade example above, Chris removed this part and created a redlink where there wasn't one before.

===1 April, 12:44===
A couple of minutes after, he made the infamous [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] the Picture of the Now.

{{quotebox|[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|300px|left|lolwut?]]

A recently leaked image shows an illustration by [[Chris]] having [[Sweet, Sweet Sex]] with three young women, including a white one, a black one, and one in-between.Chocolate-Vanilla Swirls!!! YAY! 8D}}

Not much needs saying here. Chris chose the image and added some [[random access humor]]. Why this image? Nobody knows. Also, the red link this time was actually put in entirely by Chris himself, rather than being another unintentional mistake. Why he thought the CWCki would have a page on "Sweet, Sweet Sex" is anyone's guess.

==JenkinsJinkies==
===5 May, 01:08===
In his first edit on the new account, Chris commented on [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|the hacking]] of the [[PS3]], saying the supposed bug was just an antenna. However, later that day he tore out the antenna anyway, just to be safe.<ref>[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]</ref>

{{quotebox|
'''Dude, Really? That's an Antenna'''

I trolled around and found it. http://www.eeshops.com/ps3-wifi-antenna-tyco-19039281-w400-p-528.html --[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 01:08, 5 May 2010 (UTC)}}

===8 May, 03:09 - 03:16===
Chris then turned to the [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]], clarifying that his ''Resistance: Fall of Man'' add-on pack was not bought by the trolls who took over his [[PSN]], but his ''[[Wikipedia:Killzone_2|Killzone 2]]'' pack was.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88589 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> He also said that the ''[[wikipedia:Downfall (film)|Downfall]]'' he bought was a movie, not a video game,<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads&action=historysubmit&diff=88592&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> and removed a slanderous mockery that implied that his [[duck]] was small.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref>

===3 July, 16:02 - 16:25===
Chris created the bizzare [[Coffee Place]] article, quoted below, in which he ranted about [[Amanda]], a part-time [[manajerk]], who wouldn't give Chris a ''[[Wikipedia:The Twilight Saga: Eclipse|The Twilight Saga: Eclipse]]'' Sweepstake token because he only bought a $1.09 ice cream.
{{quotebox|
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|A view of the counter where behind which has its own Troublemakers.]]

'''Coffee Anyone?'''

Within this single fast-food joint of the small town of Ruckersville, VA, Bobby goes for a morning coffee and breakfast most days of the week. Sadly, though, on some of those days, along with other seinor citizens who have been going there for years for their own "Early Bird Specials", they get harassed by one or two of the snot-nosed, snooty employees.

One of which, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time [[Manajerks]] who gives her elders the coldest of shoulders. Even with the recent Twilight sweepstakes, one or two of these folks who have enjoyed the Medium Icees for a single dollar and nine cents during their limited-time promotion and received the cups with the game pieces on them, Amanda recently decided that "One Dollar is TOO LITTLE for a Piece of the Sweepstakes Action."

Amanda also really Opens Up for the Black People; she would be most friendly to any of the black people. Uncle Ruckus would really kick the shit out of the bitch for not treating us white people with good kindness and respect. All of the seinors who loyally come in for their daily morning bread would just itch for the chance to smack her ass and crack her [[china]] in due respect to the harassment she has butthurt unto them.

'''Amanda'''

Not much else is known about Amanda at the moment, but the seinors have heard that she is a mother of two (probably get a daily butthurt from her every night). She is also assumed to be still married. I feel really sorry for the dude who has put up with that woman for the amount of time they've been married.

'''More Coffee Goodness'''

It has been reported that Chrissy has been sighted there, but no photographs has been taken, aside from the one above, of him inside the restaurant.

Photographic evidence should be sent to cwcsightings(AT)hotmail.com! Also, feel free to show off to everyone around you at the time the fresh Gay Trucker Photographs are taken. Users will be greatly rewarded with [[china]] and/or [[pickle|pickles]]!
}}

This edit was the first time Chris began to make his presence known. All edits up until now under the JenkinsJinkies name were subtle. Here the subtlety ends. Chris made it obvious that it was him right from the start, from both his [[Chris and English|poor spelling]], (very few people are stupid enough to [[Merried Seinor Comic|spell "senior" as "seinor"]]), and his poor attempt to imitate what he believes [[trolls]] are like. For one thing he obviously believes trolls to be [[Chris and race|racist]], so he goes off on a tangent about black people halfway through, and he believes all trolls to have [[Chris and sex|sexual issues]], so he acts like an outright misogynist for the last paragraph. He also tried to use troll slang in the article, such as the word "butthurt", but he somehow managed to [[Honor roll|use it as a verb]]. Chris also updated the [[Template:Places|places template]] accordingly to link to his new article.

===3 July, 20:16===
After CWCkians later arrived and saw that some faggot had put up a shitty article with no citations or real evidence of anything happening, they assumed a troll pretending to be Chris, or else a [[Chris|really stupid person]], and put up a deletion template. Chris noticed and leapt to the article's defense on the talk page with this textwall.

{{quotebox|
'''Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama.'''

My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Here, Chris established his troll backstory and continued to try and act as close to what he believed a troll to be like as possible, this time playing the part of a [[BlueSpike|sadist]] who hates Chris because he's [[Autistic|special]] who was [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|bullied at school]] and had [[Bob Chandler|daddy issues]]. Because that's totally what real trolls are like.

===11 July, 19:43 - 12 July, 08:05===
In response to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] leaving Chris a message on his user talk page, asking him for his details so he could send him his reward for providing them with information, Chris posted this strange rambling.

{{quotebox|
Thanks, man, but I'm good; I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her china was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.

That's all the info I got of [[Amanda]]; my family and I don't travel to South VA that often, but I'll see if I can hitch another trip and find a place to crash in VA. I wouldn't be missed; I am soo overlooked in my family.

Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the [[Hooker incident]], I'm wondering from which luscious company or group [[Bryan Bash]] the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D

Thank you for your support, [[User:Clydec|Clydec]]; you're awesome.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 18:43, 11 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

The main focus of the message here seems to be establishing more troll backstory, giving excuses as to why he couldn't give Clyde his details, and dropping as many troll buzzwords as possible, like "[[4chan|Annon]]" and "[[Laughs Under Lucricities|LULZ]]". He also inquires about the hookers sent to his house by Bryan Bash, likely so he can take advantage of their services to get rid of his hated [[virgin with rage|virginity]]. Also notice how even when he's deep undercover as a Chris-hating troll, he still feels the need to bolster his own [[ego]], claiming to be genuinely afraid of Chris; something no-one other than Chris himself could ever seriously consider anything other than a joke.

When Clyde appropriatly pointed out that being afraid of Chris indicated Jenkins was a pussy, Chris replied with;

{{quotebox|
Firstly, I am not a pussy; I am as wild as a serial raper. Second, I saw those videos; he is still a curiously impulsive individual. It is people like him that tend to explode in a hidden-potential fury that could be very dangerous. While you may see him as a weak fuck, I see a crazy man who will likely strike at any given moment.

During the time now, I enjoy laughing during his weaker moments, yet I still am concerned in what intelligence and fury lie within him waiting to strike. He may be only waiting and plotting for the day when he may hunt us down, one by one. We can only hope that day will never come.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 07:05, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Again, despite being undercover as a troll, Chris spends time trying to convince [[Clyde Cash]] and the others that he is really [[I AM STRONG|strong]], [[Honor roll|intelligent]] and will [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|probably kill them all]]. Again, things that only Chris could ever seriously believe. Also, add "wild as a serial raper" to the list of memorable Chris-Chan quotes.

===13 July, 22:24===
And of course, where would we be without a little advertising? Even while pretending to be a troll, Chris still [[Chris and his Ego|couldn't resist]] breaking cover yet again to advertise his ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' beta tracks.

{{quotebox|
'''He has his Beta Track Up'''

As well as some actually neatly recreated Hot Wheels vehicles. He locked a couple of them; the manchild must have Favorited those TWO cars from his collection. LOL His track is lengthy, and confusing, but I managed to run some laps on it. And he added a good version of the Park with a fountain, and a Beach.

Download his Beta Cwcville Track for the laughs of using the defaulted Beta Tools.--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

This was Chris's last edit made to the CWCki before he then signed up for [[Trollin Train]], as part of a scheme by Clyde and [[Surfshack Tito]] to trick him into destroying his [[PS3]], a mission ending in [[The MovingForward videos|great success]]. All further JenkinsJinkies dumbfuckery is documented on the [[Trollin Train]] page.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[CWCki]]
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]
*[[Coffee Place]]

{{The Internet}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]

For Chris

2011-10-05T13:12:04Z

Ash link: Why?

"'''For Chris'''" (officially "'''10222009'''") is a video where evil impostor [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] tries to compare himself with the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC]]. It can be seen that he's attempting to try to win over [[Kacey]]'s heart. AGAIN.

IBA spends much of this video claiming he possesses many positive personal qualities, all of which are outrageous [[lie]]s. At various points he calls himself honest, caring, helpful, [[Chris and fashion|good-looking]], [[Chris and Anger|patient]], [[Gal pals|popular]], [[Chris and death|"empathetic/sympathetic"]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|intelligent]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|good at making decisions]], and [[Wendy's|reliable]]. He also states that he can control his [[Chris and anger|temper]]. For every character flaw or shortcoming Ian has, he believes the [[Chris and reality|opposite]] to be true. However, he claims to like making people laugh, so this is arguably the first recorded evidence of him succeeding in one of his goals.

As with his [[Brutal Legend Plus|last video]], the [[PSEye|audio]] still sucks balls, and the constant skipping makes him sound like Max Headroom. The video was uploaded on 22 [[October 2009]].

This video also has the first and last mention of a "relationship management" class. Sources say that the teacher of this class can't stand Chris, and is constantly trying to redirect him to "special" classes. He also takes these classes alone, which is useless in itself.

==Liquid's video==

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK
| video = {{#ev:youtube|IN2xB0WSLRk}}
| stardate = 21 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|Kacey}}
| previous = [[15 October 2009]]
| next = [[SHE IS MINE NOW|BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[''Positioning camera''] Mmm. Okay. Alright. Yeah. So, I am still not your friend, Mr. Impostor, Mister [[Chris|Ian Brandon Anderson]] himself! You know who you are. How- I- how could I be friends with such a ''stupid'' jerk who is ''always'' trying to take over my [[Sonichu]] franchise! You're the Dr. Egg-man! You're the Dr. Robotnik. Come up with a- with the new plans.. Steal my original characters. [''exhales'']

Yeah. You know, you are so lucky, because when I was gone, [[Kacey]] started falling in love with you. And- but in ten seconds of Sonic running speed, you have dispelled her and I have picked her up in my- in my loving arms again, and I have picked her up. And you know what else, she would have... Mm. She would've a f-... Mm. She would have fallen in love with you i- [''sighs''], except for a good thing that you never even cared about her. Ah. I- I am- yeah, I am telling you this, and making this video here, to tell you: ''You lost out, man!'' Kinda like how [[Wikipedia:Jack Shephard|Jack Shephard]] got lots- uh [[Wikipedia:Lost (TV series)|lost]] in the jungle... and saw a monster. Or [[Wikipedia:John Locke (Lost)|John Locke]] got lost in the woods and killed a bunch of boars... ''one by one''. [''in a TV announcer voice'']"''LOST''! Only on ABC! Only"- yeah. Hm.

But yeah, aside from you being a no-good, [[Fail|crappy]] impostor, I guess maybe that you- I do have something to thank you for. Thanks for keeping Kacey all warm and fired-up for me! Now I will get all the [[Fuck Quest|real action]], ''bay-bee''! You- she knows how- we're gonna see how she knows- that I like- I'm gonna drive her home at night. Hm. Yeah, and this is- this is not limited to making out, kisses and, and boobies, which are so- which- her boobies are so beaut- beautiful and large, and ''laaarge'', even for my God-given daughter, [[Crystal]], might I mention that soon-to-be God-given daughter Crystal.. Though, err, it has yet to happen. And another thing, [''exhales audibly''] we are going to swim through a [[RomanticLabyrinth|watery maze]] and make passionate love to each other and it's going to be awesome. [''exhales audibly''] So you leave her to me, you hear? ''Ha! Ha! Ha!'' And don't worry, Ian Brandon Anderson, I am sure you will find yourself a nice ''girlfriend-free boy'' to have as a sweetheart someday, you [[Homos|homo]]! Mm. [''exhales''] Yeah, only none other than a homosexual wou- who is going to hell would not fight to get a girl like Kacey. In fact, I think- I think you are so gay for resisting her obvious advances. [[Axe|Stay off of my Axe!]]... it's not for the homos. But, uhh, yeah, she is all mine now. Don't like that? Tough cookies.

In fact, I have a challenge for you. You wanna save your reputation? Duuuude? Ian Brandon Aaandersson? Duuuude? I- I dare you- I dare '''you''', and I will be waiting, I dare you to make a video about why you are better for Kacey... than me, or else... or else you w- or else you will have admitted that you have never cared for her in the first place, and ''everyone'' on the internet will see that you are a [[jerk]] and a schmuck, [''vibrating noise''] and they will see that I- I was always the- they will see that I was always the [[Honest Content|true and original]] CWC. I was... yeah.

And to all you [''exhales''] and to all you who have placed bids on my- on my custom-painted, uhh, meat-wad, shred-wad, rock-panned Rockband [[Gitar of Fail|guitar]] on [[eBay]], it has been sold- it has now been sold, and I have the money from your sale right here. [''produces a wad of folded $20 bills'']

To the rest of you, who are good and true, peace.

And have a good day.

==IBA's video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = For Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7F6Vksyr0iI}}
| stardate = 22 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Brutal Legend Plus]]
| next = [[I Love You Kacey]]
}}
{{quote|Aggressive! Argumentative! Rude! Unfeeling! Uncaring! Selfish! A LIAR! You are a liar! And, you're immature.|Chris describing Chris}}

=== Transcript ===

Aah. Okay Mr. [[Christian]], let's uh, deliberate.

Okay, well, firstly, [[Honest Content|I am honest]]. You certainly have not been honest, you know. I've got longer history. I've been on the internet since [[2000]]. TWO thousand! You've been online for only what, six months now? Six months! I got a lot more history than you do, and everybody can verify that I am the real creator, so there. [[Chris and Anger|I am kind, I am good-hearted]], and you've shown yourself to be not so kind. Ar- you may be- care. [''Damaged camera skips at this point''] [[DJ Jamsta|Like, you know.]] Yeah sure, like you did listen to your video, yeah. I'm like you know, yeah. I'm not going forward with Kacey in a romantic way but she had feelings for you, and I respected that as such. Mmph. And like seriously, if she wanted to, I would have gladly, I would have gladly gone further with that, but she, she did not want that and I respected her wish of that. Cause I CARE about her. [[PandaHalo|I am CARING]]. And obviously you haven't, because you know what because she made you promise to stop your game and make no more videos, but yet you go and make this one! You broke your promise! I would not break my promise, like you know, for annuther [[gal-pal]] of mine, like you know, especially this girl with me being [[Megan|trustworthy, and loyal]], because I just went on a goose chase, because [''video skips''] another gal pal of mine, she was pretty much lonely at the time and you know, I thought she called me like you know, and wanted me to hang with her for awhile. And so I killed about killed about twenty miles round trip for gas to go find her house. But it turns out that was a [[BlueSpike|troll posing as that girl]]. [''[[sigh]]s''] [[Autism|THE VOICES SOUNDED NEARLY SAME]].

And plus I was under str- starting work against in response to your video for your girlfriend who is a gal- who is a good gal-pal [''video skips''] who is a true good gal-pal of mine. That I honestly care about, just like the other gal-pal I would have finally. [audio skips] Thought I was actually doing for her but it turn out to be troll. [''sighs''] But anyway. Going over that. I am intelligent. [[trolls|I can be fun.]] I'm fairly good-looking, with or without the [[glasses]]. But I need these glasses because I'm nearsighted. [''video skips''] ...working out. I dunno what your vision problem is. Whatever, to each his own. Or her own. And.

Myeah. I'm thoughtful. I was thinking deliberately about what to say in this video in response for... [''[[Fail|pauses awkwardly]] for about four seconds''] I may as well say her name for [[Kacey]]. For Kacey. Because I cared. She asked me to, and I am doing it. Alright? I'm helpful whenever I can, y'know? Whenever I can help I help to the best of my ability, and when I can't help, I admit that, but I try my best to see if I can find proper help. And I am generous, because I give myself to my [[Trolls|friends]] whenever necessary, I can be cheerful, [[Stress|easygoing]], I am a [[Vivian Gee E-mails|good listener]], because otherwise I wouldn't have understood that part of the video. In the beginning. I had to read it again. You know? You said that, like you know, in the beginning of the video, you said, that you, that they called me pretty much a sap for lettin' er, lettin' her like lettin' her go, so she can go back to you and you know what?

Yeah. And you know what? You're lucky because you've got her. You shouldn't betray her prop- you shouldn't betray her by breaking her promise. And I am [[Autism|empathetic slash sympathetic]] I actually experienced that similar situation before I can't think about that, otherwise I'm symapathetic. [''sighs''] And I'm interesting, I got broad of emotions and everything, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm patient]], I'm upfront, upfront and clear, when I have my mind set to it, and I'm [[Virgin with rage|fairly popular]]. [''sighs''] And here's an adjective for you, because you are, because you pretty much yourself to be these things. [[Chris and Anger|Aggressive]]! [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Argumentative]]! [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Rude]]! [[Chris and death|Unfeeling! Uncaring]]! [[Chris and money|Selfish]]! [[Kacey Phone Call|A LIAR]]! You are a liar! And, you're [[The High School Story|immature]]. And you sound like you can be an [[PSEye|abusive]] type. You already left the girl for over a month! In an attempt to try to frame me. [''sighs''] And I remember these adjectives, you know why? Because I been takin' a relationship management class! So I'm able to hold my lil' notes so I, so I can better make, sort out, sort out the list, so I can make this video. Or, and in response to you.

Oh, I'll just go ahead and say this. A few qualities I am, like you know, I-I find it [[JERKS|fairly easy]] to make friends when I set my mind to it, I'm not shy, I am fairly good at talking to people, I very much know what to say to much people, I like [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|making people laugh.]] Seriously. [''Does [[Donald Duck impersonation]]''] WHAT'S HAPPENING TRUE FUN I'M TALKIN' LIKE A [[duck|DUCK]]. I am a good listener, sometimes I stay out of conflict, because I'm not sure how to deal with it but when I have to I will. Hmm. I am trustworthy and reliable. I'm [[CWCFlyingElephants|good at making decisions]], and with the conflict I can get angry. I try to control my temper. I [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|control my temper]]. I have a good... I am not lonely, I have a good number of [[Trolls|friends]], I can [[Attraction sign|chat someone up]] again, when I actually have the [[Chris and sex|topics in my mind]] set up. I can KEEP SECRETS. You pretty much cannot keep a secret 'cause you pretty much said a few secrets she entrusted to you in that video. Hmm.

You can not keep a secret. I find it difficult to tell when someone is feeling some... wait, I do not. Sorry. I do not find it difficult to know how someone is feeling. I mean yeah, sometimes, sometimes I'm [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow, in the thinking process]], but a bunch of times I get right off the bat. And I like sharing my [[Honest Content|honest feelings]] with other people because they're good feelings, most of the time. And more importantly they are TRUE and HONEST feelings. SO THERE. This is my only response to you, so you better renew the promise, and NO MORE VIDEOS. And everybody on the internet knows that I am the original Christian Weston Chandler with the birth name of Christopher that created [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], you've only been online for six months. I've been on-line- I've been online since 2000. Even before 2000. I've had a CWC Pokesite and CWC Pokesite 2 was up before 2000! Definitely! So there! Okay.

And Kace, again, I do care about you very much, if I could go beyond, if you wished, you should have said so in the first place, and I would have been happy to pursued the friendship level to a [[Sweetheart from the ground up|relationship]], if you have feelings for your Chris, then yeah. For Him. And I respected that. Because I care. I care, okay? If I will, and I appreciated that you did start to fall for me. Although I did understand, I listened to, I understood every word that you said in that part of that video. Obviously, while yeah I miss it the first time around, but I caught it, I caught it the second time. When I set my mind to it I [''stutters''] I am trustworthy I am... I'm not going to get into that wording. But most of the time I am the [[White knight e-mails|good listener]]. And most of the time, I can count on the hidden things [''video skips''] messages fairly quick. But sometimes I can be a little slow you have to be patient with me. Think about this: I am patient with most everybody. Okay? So I'll leave you all with that.

Have a good day.

==The Lies of Solid Chris==

Obviously, the vast majority of Chris's video is blatant falsehood that would leave the most crooked politician stunned and agape. In order to provide some context to this amazing dosage of fallacy, the members of the CWCki have generously provided the following in-depth analysis:

''''He is kind, good-hearted, and caring''': He has cheated on his e-sweethearts numerous times, and the sole focus of all of his relationships is to get poon. He was completely indifferent to the deaths of PandaHalo, Sarah May, and Ryan Cash, giving selfish reasons as to how their deaths affected him. He called his lone true fan of the comic a naïve dumbass. The ghost of his dead aunt could also tell you how much he cared about her when it came time to bury her. Chris will outright smear other people to make himself look better. He humiliated his good friend Megan by uploading a drawing of himself fingerbanging her to the internet. His explanations as to why he did so included needing some sort of release to keep from flipping out and raping her. Despite her clear objections to the picture and Chris claiming he still cared about her, he decided to go ahead and use the picture to unnecessarily fill out his cartoon porn site. He also hates homosexuals just because they're gay, and is a noted racist.

'''He cares about Kacey''': Chris's entire pursuit of her was a sham to trick her and get into her pants. He pretended to be Liquid over the phone and on YouTube videos to get her to fall for him. When they met up, Chris could have tried to build a rapport with her and looked for a way to lay the foundation for a good emotional connection. But he was only interested in sex and spent much of the time staring at her goods, sniffing her, trying to cop a feel, and even tried to plant a surreptitious kiss on her. When it was all over, Chris posted a video showing that he was back on top of the world despite having posted a teary-eyed video just two days prior. He'd already forgotten about her, even though he told her she was, "the sweetest kindest woman I've ever known in my life."

'''He is intelligent''': Chris gets swindled by trolls practically non-stop, and has even fallen for some of the stupidest ruses ever devised by humankind. He almost never deduces on his own that he's being tricked and ignores warnings from others that he's being tricked. He can't write for shit or do math, and he thinks it's possible for a completely heterosexual person to turn gay just by momentarily letting their guard down. He also thought the best way to get Encyclopedia Dramatica to stop talking about his delusional insanity was to bombard them with further examples of his delusional insanity.

'''He is generous and gives to his friends''': Yes, Chris is so generous, that he once admitted that if he had the cure to autism, a truly invaluable thing that would bring life-changing help to millions around the world, he'd throw it away just to get a PS3. In the GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes, after saying he'd share the prize money with his church congregation, he ended up spending the majority of it on himself. And he stole money from his own parents so he could buy video game content for games he didn't even own.

'''He can be cheerful and easy-going''': He constantly started arguments with everyone at The GAMe PLACe over Pokémon games, and almost got his ass kicked once because of them. He will resist doing or feeling anything that will be even a minor inconvenience upon him. He has also publicly cried like a baby at inappropriate times over issues that were either largely insignificant or the direct result of his own fuck-ups.

'''He is a good listener''': Countless numbers of people have tried to talk sense into him to get him to not fall for trolls, and to try to help him change his life for the better. He's resisted nearly every bit of advice he's received. Vivian Gee spent hours trying to give him sound advice about fixing his life, and he just sighed and rejected her advice so much that she turned against him. He completely missed the point about why Megan was so upset with him about spreading embarrassing things about her online, thinking she was just mad because she didn't know much about sex.

'''He is empathetic/sympathetic''': Maybe he just doesn't know what these words truly mean, but likely he knows and just doesn't care. If he were either of those things, he would understand why Mary Lee Walsh and various jerkops didn't want him soliciting himself in public, and why potential Sweethearts would be put off by his creepy overly-forward advances. He might have shown true remorse over the death of Ryan Cash instead of being awestruck by the power of causing someone to kill themselves and telling his brother to just get over it. And he certainly wouldn't have cheated on his aforementioned e-sweethearts. Two weeks after he declared how empathetic and sympathetic he is, he stunned YouTube by uploading a video intending to tease a blackmail photo of Gregg Mays by photoshopping it into a picture of the World Trade Center and illustrating the towers being attacked, saying that they were both weak and would go crumbling down. Backpedaling after the subsequent outrage, Chris removed that video and replaced it with another video showing a birthday cake with two candles...the candles being the towers from the World Trade Center photoshop copy-pasted directly over the cake, except with the tops removed and set ablaze.

'''He is fairly popular and it's easy for him to make friends''': Chris has never been popular. He was constantly teased and picked on at school, had to take his mother to the prom, and most of the people that he had regular positive contact with didn't like him nearly as much as he liked them. After getting out of school, most people that stayed in his life or entered it drifted away quickly or have been driven away by his direct actions. He was widely disliked at The GAMe PLACe, and had to change schools and churches due to numerous conflicts. Since he was discovered by the interwebs, practically everyone that has entered his life — both online and off — has done so just to troll him, and the few that didn't mostly ended up becoming trolls. 99% of all the comments on his YouTube videos are negative, and he is bombarded with negative emails from trolls daily. He automatically considers all males to be jerks, and even belittled someone who is considered to be the only true fan of his comic that he ever had.

Perhaps he is confusing being popular with being notorious, but given how full of himself he his, that is unlikely.

'''He is good at talking to people, knows what to say to them, and shares his feelings because they are "good feelings most of the time"''': Any chatlog or clip of him conversing with someone else makes it plainly obvious he cannot carry on a conversation and constantly tries to steer the focus on himself. When he strikes up conversation with potential sweethearts, he uses shitty tips from books and cheesy pickup lines straight out of video games. He thinks there are strict rules to follow when being social, and even thinks that making spontaneous human connections is something to be taught in a classroom. He's completely incapable of saying the right thing to someone based on his conversations with Megan and people who have suffered hardships that don't involve Chris at all. And when he does share his feelings, he will blurt out things that are either wildly inappropriate, or details about himself that no human being would ever want to know.

'''He stays out of conflict''': If anyone offers any criticism, rips off his rip-offs, or suggests he's not entirely straight, he gets defensive and/or flies into nuclear tard rage. He gets into it with trolls at every opportunity, will not back down from an argument until he's had the last word, and will even hypocritically mock people rather than just letting things slide. He absolutely cannot let any slight against him go, proven in his lengthy campaigns against various trolls. This video is further proof to the point; after CChanSonichuCWC reappeared, Chris absolutely had to respond to Liquid twice though he said he wouldn't ever do so again.

'''He is reliable''': Chris can't even put out his shitty scribble of a comic at any kind of regular schedule, sometimes going months at a time without updating despite the fact that he has no job and rarely leaves his house. He stood up Emily when they first arranged their date in the mall. He couldn't even be counted on to do basic minimum wage work, having been fired from a fast-food restaurant.

'''He tries to control his temper''': Please feast your eyes on these articles, and ask yourself just how in control of his temper he is.

'''He can keep secrets''': Ever since he came in contact with ED, he has continuously uploaded sensitive personal details about himself, his family, and his friends. He keeps doing so despite the fact that trolls are constantly using this information to torment him and people close to him. He told the internet that his mom has problems with her ass. He will also give information freely to people posing as trolls, because as long as someone strings together a few nice things to say about him, he will immediately trust that person without question.

==See also==

*[[For Kacey from CWC]]
*[[I Love You Kacey]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Brutal Legend Plus]]|nextlink=[[I Love You Kacey]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-22]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-22]]

Gal pal

2011-10-05T13:08:38Z

Ash link:

[[Image:0487-CWC18th18.jpg|thumb|right|200 px|Chris's gal pals at his [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]]. From left to right: [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Kellie Andes]], Friend Brought Along, [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]], Sarah Bevel, [[Tiffany Gowen]].]]

A '''gal pal''' or '''gal-pal''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christian's]] [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] for a female friend. Chris claims to have had a lot of these in [[Manchester_High_School|high school]]. He has also claimed that [[Megan]] said she loved him, so we know his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]] isn't very strong.

==Chris and gal-pals==
Chris opted for gal-pals in lieu of having male friends due to the belief that hanging out with other males would turn him [[homos|gay]] and that they're all [[JERKS|jerks]] anyway. Because Chris blatantly refused to socialize with other males like himself throughout his school years, he has adopted rather feminine traits and mannerisms (Such as assuming the cowgirl sexual position during the sex tape video, or having a collection of [[My Little Pony|My Little Ponies]]), ignorant to the fact that what might be acceptable for the females would be considered taboo for guys.

In typical Chris style, he has managed to drive every single gal-pal away. Chris believes that due to all his "Gal Pals" he had his pick of the girls to make his [[sweetheart]] and that he missed out on the opportunities during [[high school]], oblivious that these girls probably associated with him due to pity rather than desiring a real friendship with Chris.

It is also interesting to note that he never refers to girls as "friends", only "gal-pals". Usually, this phrase is used by women when talking about their social clique. Only [[gay]] men ever refer to female friends as "gal-pals", and even then, they're usually joking. Men talking about female companions will just say "friend", or "a girl who happens to be my friend" as opposed to a "girlfriend", because in English colloquy, the latter is implying a romantic relationship. The fact that Chris never thinks of girls around him as "friends" and repeatedly calls them "gal-pals" (which he probably thinks is cute, him being "one of the girls") reasserts his [[women's rights|sexism]]. He doesn't see the women in his life as equals and companions, like a normal human being would; he sees them as possible [[china]].

==List of Gal-Pals==
* [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]
* [[Virginia Sanford]]
* [[Laura Beth Dorazio]]
* [[Kellie Lyn Andes]]
* [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen]]
* [[Anna McLerran]]
* [[Megan Schroeder]]
* [[Sarah Jackson]]
* [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]]
* [[Ivy O'Neil]]
* [[Kacey Devoria]]
* [[The Wallflower]]

==Other Gal-Pals==
===Tiffany Robinson===
'''Tiffany Robinson''' was a friend of Chris in the days that he lived in [[Richmond]]. She was Chris's first crush. In Chris's words ''"we would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days."''

===Natasha Turner===
'''Natasha Turner''' was a friend of Chris's who he met at [[Providence Middle School]], and who was slightly older than him. He felt very fond of her, and they were next-door neighbors for a while, often hanging out at the bus stop near their homes.

===Sarah Anne Bevel===
[[File:0484-CWC18th15.jpg|thumb|'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' (in green, on the right) and '''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' (in black, next to her).]]
'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' was Chris's classmate at [[Manchester High]]. She had a sweetheart there, named Brian Smart. Chris recalls hearing that they broke up somewhere in the [[2000s]].

===Molly Quarles===
'''Molly Quarles''' was a cheerleader (the same year as Laura Beth Dorazio) during Chris's Freshman Year. She shared a few classes with Chris. Chris recalls being matched up in a "dating match-up thing" they had every Valentines Day at Manchester High. According to Chris it was ''"the ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then."''

===Miranda Joyce Mitchell===
'''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' was a girl with whom Chris shared a few classes. According to Chris, she was ''"a big brain of my Circle of Friends."'' Miranda, or "Maranda" as she was dubbed by Chris,<ref>[http://classic-web.archive.org/web/20010217092458/http://homepages.go.com/~christianchandler/pokste2.htm CWC's Pokésite 2!]</ref> helped our hero out in his early website creating days by redesigning the [[CWC's PokéSite 2!]] Logo.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Gal Pals 1
Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|Gal Pals 2
Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|Gal Pals 3
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Chris and remorse

2011-10-05T13:08:21Z

Ash link:

Every so often, one of the horrendous things [[Chris]] continually does catches up with him, and he is forced to apologize. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris tries to come off as emotional, often feel very forced and insincere, leading many [[trolls]] to wonder if Chris is even capable of feeling '''remorse'''.

It's not out of the question. A common trait of [[autism]] is a lack of empathy, meaning it's likely that Chris has a difficult time trying to understand what other people feel. Just as time and time again he's shown himself unable to understand others' feelings of [[Chris and death|loss or sadness]], he seems equally incapable of understanding how his actions could possibly hurt or anger others. When he is expected to show remorse, it often seems as though he is just going through the motions, making the absolute minimum effort to get whoever he has upset to stop pestering him, so he can go back to his oblivious existence playing [[PS3]].

==Concept of Wrongdoing==

Developing an understanding of right and wrong is an important part of a child's development. Very young children don't actually take into consideration what is ethically the right or wrong thing to do. They base their actions on whether they are punished and rewarded, before they eventually internalize a consistent value system and learn to police their own behavior. Chris seems to be stuck in the earlier, childlike state. If something makes him feel bad, or if experience tells him he'll get in trouble for doing something, it must be wrong. If it makes him feel good, or looks like it could have potential rewards, it must be right. Other considerations, such as what his [[Chris and religion|supposed faith]] prescribes or how this will affect others, simply do not rank.

An excellent example would be how Chris managed to destroy his relationship with [[Megan]]. Chris was at war with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], who were, among other things, calling him [[gay]]. In an attempt to disprove their allegations, Chris uploaded [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a certain image]] to the website, apparently under the belief that that sort of information overload would get them to shut up. When the denizens of ED assumed the image was of Crystal, Chris was quick to correct them. At no point did he even consider Megan's feelings. When she [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called him out]], Chris didn't realize he had done anything wrong, and assumed she was upset simply because she didn't watch enough [[Chris and sex|porn]].

{{Quote|I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of [[Chris and English|outtercourse]] (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry.|Chris, [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|not getting it at all]].}}

As such, Chris isn't really capable of remorse or a sincere apology. The natural precursor to an apology is the internal realization that one has done something wrong, a realization that Chris's childish, self-centered mindset will not allow him to reach. In his mind, he's done something "wrong" only when the people around him react negatively. Furthermore, as a rule, he assumes that their reaction is just the result of some misunderstanding, reasoning that if he was just given the chance to explain what he was trying to accomplish, they would understand, and all would be forgiven.

==Motivation to apologize==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|I'm sorry, now give me money.]]
As explained above, Chris's logic when it comes to matters of right and wrong is almost wholly reactionary. His rationale for apologizing follows the same pattern. He issues them only when made fully aware that he won't get what he wants unless he at least tries to appear genuinely remorseful.

Every apology Chris has ever made can be immediately connected to something Chris wants, and thinks he'll get if he says the magic words "I'm sorry". We almost never have to guess what that thing might be, he almost always mentions his desired goal in the same paragraph, sometimes even in the next sentence.
{{Quote|I wish to apologize to Michael Schneider for that mistake I made over nine months ago that got me kicked out of The GAMe PLACe... I miss my Friday nights over there… and also... y’all are the only place in town that has, uh, Eye of Judgment cards.|Chris, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologizing in order to buy stuff]].}}
{{Quote|I apologize for the past unformalities[sic] and emotional outbursts in past communications... I ask for 25% of all money... you have and will have made from all [the [[audiobooks]]] you have put together and sold.|Chris, apologizing for sending [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]] a fucking [[Death threats|death threat]].}}
[[File:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Because Chris's apologies spring from this simplistic cause-and-effect mentality, things tend to get interesting when whoever he's issuing them to tells him that all is not well, and that he is not forgiven. In [[I am Alive|one notable case]], he admitted to ungentlemanly conduct regarding his feud with [[Asperchu]]. It was a fairly obvious attempt to get [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia_Advertisements|certain ads removed from the CWCipedia]], but, notably, he announced his intention to kill off the character of [[Simonla Rosechu]], in accordance with [[Evan|her creator's]] wishes. He didn't act quickly enough, and CWCipedia was taken down from the web altogether. Although his anger was understandable, Chris revealed in [[9 February 2010|his next video]] that he had never intended to kill Simonla in the first place, and that the apology was not TRUE and HONEST. We had all suspected, but it's nice to get confirmation once in a while. After CWCipedia returned, he did indeed kill Simonla, but only under pressure, and in the most contrived, dull, yet very lulzy way possible.

The one apology that arguably highlights Chris's insincerity the most is his in-comic apology to the Asperpedia Four, which takes place ''while [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|condemning them to death]]''. The cognitive dissonance this creates would be overwhelming to any sane person, but [[Autism|for some reason]], Chris thought that this ludicrous non-apology apology was both okay and that the recipients would accept it as genuine. In that very same issue in fact, Chris at one point sheds a tear after sealing up the populated [[4-cent garbage.com]] building and destroying it. You know, because faking remorse with crocodile tears ''totally'' justifies mass murder.

Chris' insincerity can also be seen in Chris's misadventures with [[The Wallflower]]. When the shit hit the fan and she cut off all ties with him, he made his usual [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pathetic display of sorrow]], making it very clear in the process that he only wanted her for [[sex]]. When his apology failed to work as planned, Chris became very angry and spiteful, and started [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|demanding that she apologize for hurting ''his'' feelings]].
{{-}}

==Common traits of a CWC apology==

===Explanation===
One recurring element in Chris's admissions of guilt is an explanation of why he did whatever he's apologizing for. The way these speeches are worded often indicates that Chris believes that if we just understood his intentions, we would all agree with him, and that nobody would be offended.

A famous example appears in the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]] video. Chris explains that yes, he videotaped himself performing a selection of disturbing sex acts, but it was all for his sweetheart [[Ivy]], and this evidently renders his actions understandable and acceptable. Supposedly speaking to a young child who was shocked by his behavior, he tells her that his behavior was perfectly reasonable because he is both adult and human. This combination of warped logic and an even more warped world-view was a crucial component of his breakthrough to mainstream infamy.

Another good example would be the time he [[Twin Falling Towers|used the worst terrorist attack in American history for an exceedingly bad joke]]. After learning that [[Kacey]] came from a military family, Chris did what was expected of him and made a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|public apology]]. However, he was more concerned with continuing to slander [[Clyde Cash]] and assuring us he was a good American (although he didn't know the words to his own national anthem)<ref>[[Mumble 7#summary|Mumble Chat 7]]</ref><ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref> than with actually expressing remorse and making an attempt at recompense.
[[Image:SnuffOutClyde.jpg|thumb|This looks like a good idea.]]
{{Quote|The joke was mainly directed to how WEAK Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.|[[Apology_for_9/11_Joke#Apology_image_text|Chris's written apology]].}}

Within the same video, he changed the photoshop he'd done of the World Trade Center towers into birthday candles. That he saw no problem in presenting an image of the two buildings on fire and repeatedly calling them weak while he asserted that he was a good American proves that he [[Slow-in-the-mind|completely missed the point]] of what he was supposed to be apologizing for. He was far more concerned with sullying Clyde's name than with any blowback or offense his comments might have caused.

===Rationalization===

Chris is incredibly self-righteous. In his mind he is the only decent man left in the world, and everybody else is a stupid, evil [[JERKS|JERK]] who is jealous of his [[Chris and his Ego|many "successes"]] in life. This mindset gives Chris all the justification he needs to mistreat others, because as far as he's concerned they're all the bad guys, standing in the way of his [[Love Quest|heroic quest]].

This "everything I do is right" mindset shows through when he is forced to talk about his prior transgressions. Chris might offer a half-assed apology, simply to conform to the wishes of whoever he's talking to, but it will often be accompanied with a long explanation as to why he ''had'' to do it.

{{Quote|I was wrong... I pretended to be him yet he was the liar. I'm the real deal... So on that one part I was wrong for the right reasons.|Chris, [[I Love You Kacey|almost admitting wrongdoing]].}}

He exhibited this self-righteous attitude many times in the [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] saga: because he is the TRUE and HONEST Christian, this gave him the right to [[For Kacey from CWC|attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend by]] [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be him]], and then [[SHE IS MINE NOW|gloat about it once he apparently achieved his aim]]. Once again, Chris saw no wrong in this. Since Liquid wronged him by trolling him in the first place, anything he did in response was entirely justified.

==Retraction==

Chris, believing that his actions are always right, nearly always has to be pressured into making any form of apology at all. Most, if not all, of his apology messages are motivated by the people he [[Fuck Quest|physically desires]] (be they obvious troll or otherwise) or [[Asperchu|desires to appease]], rather than the public outcry he causes, and certainly not by any true sense of guilt. A retraction of an apology is just as hollow as the apology itself, in that Chris is quite happy to lie to [[Chris and his ego|save face]] or gain [[china|something he wants]]. For instance, Chris '''finally''' [[02 March 2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on 2 March 2010. However, only a month later, on 8 April, he was talking to [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

When trolls hacked his PSN accounts, Chris made [[a near public apology]]. A blatant attempt to get his PSN account back, the apology was, of course, chock full of lies and insincerity.

One of his favorite ways to smite his [[Clyde Cash|invisible internet enemies]] and [[jerkop|real-life foes alike]] is to lay a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] upon them; thinking that he has powers akin to something more along the lines of Wicca, Voodoo, or Goku from [[Things Chris has ripped off|DBZ]] than with the [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] he practices. He only issued the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]] after [[Kacey|his latest e-girlfriend]] told him that he shouldn't have used the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in the first place..

Considering that he [[Surfshack Tito (video)|quickly returned]] to his ways of cursing, [[Don't Mess With Me|threatening]], and [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|insulting]] his enemies, the sentiment obviously didn't stick.

==Shifting blame==

When Chris isn't trying to justify the trouble he causes, he usually resorts to blaming others. The most famous example is him blaming [[ED]] for the end of his friendship with [[Megan]], even though it was because of a picture he himself thought up, drew, and then uploaded to his [[ED|article]]. Chris had it literally screamed at him in [[Mumble 3]], but then, as now, he still doesn't know the true reason. The best anyone has ever been able to extract from Chris is that he came on too strong. While technically true, this is a vast understatement which fails to capture the massive amount of fault which lies with Chris (that is to say, all of it).

====The Wallflower====

Chris went to great lengths to keep the knowledge of [[The Wallflower]] away from the slanderous trolls of the Internet. However, he foolishly credited her by her screen name during one of his sycophantic Little Big Planet levels and the trolls used that to find her Facebook page... which then led to a massive dump of info about her on the CWCki. When she was later linked to said CWCki, and horrified at the amount of information available about her, she requested that the CWCki admins remove the information since she really had very little to do with Chris and didn't deserve such a descriptive page about her. ''(Note: naturally, since her request seemed reasonable, the CWCki admins complied and replaced all references to her with a pseudonym.)''

Frightened and disgusted by what she had found, [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|she broke off all contact with Chris]], including even casual association. She also clarified to the CWCki admins that they had never dated, never had any kind of relationship beyond casual association, and before her introduction to the CWCki she really didn't know much about him at all. Chris, however, [[Chris and reality|not to be deterred]], proclaimed many times that they had [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|been on several dates]], and [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|"Shared DNA"]], along with enjoying a kiss and massage. Since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally... [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|Chris had either momentarily forgotten that he had never been kissed]], something that would have been a monumental occasion in his life, lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed, or lied to Jackie about ''not'' being kissed (though that is very unlikely). Either way, he still lied about the kiss, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).

With ALL the above in mind... in the month following their "breakup", Chris would go on to blame The Wallflower for [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#The_Breakup|having an internet presence at all]]. In Chris's warped view of things, the reason that she broke up with him was because, by allowing herself to have a Facebook page and other information, ''she enabled herself to suffer because of Chris's actions''. Chris mentioned that he was ready to accept an apology ''from her'' at their social group meeting, when the reality was he should have been the one offering most sincere groveling for allowing his reprehensible behavior to be [[CWCki|published]]. Over a year after the debacle, though, it seems that Chris has [[Calling Out|begun to accept ''some'']] of the blame from the ordeal, though he has now shifted it towards Surfshack Tito.

====Forgetting====

Aside from directly shifting the blame by [[list of Chris's lies|lying]], Chris has been frequently known to 'forget' important, critical details of his life, typically ones that make him look bad. When [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] was flirting with him by e-mails and found out about the CWCki, she asked Chris about cheating on [[Ivy]] with [[Vanessa]], the full details of which are documented right [[Ivy|here]]. Chris, of course, claimed flat out that the whole thing was a troll deception and that Jackie shouldn't believe it. When Jackie informed Chris she found a video of him admitting it and confessing, Chris claimed he [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_3#Chris "Forgot" He Cheated On Ivy|"forgot" this "portion"]].

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|October 27th in 2008]], Chris nervously announced he had found his one true sweetheart; [[Chloe]]. Many things immediately leapt out at the trolls as being lies, including his previous announcements on an [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|IRC chat]]. Due to Chris's unreliable short-term memory and inaction on the part of [[trolls]], after the 27 October video Chloe was never mentioned again in a video by Chris. A little more than a year later, in [[Mailbag 13]], rather than simply admit he was lying, Chris claimed "I currently have no recollection of a Chloe", even though she was supposedly the woman he had his first real kiss with.

In [[Mumble 6#On The Trans-gender Community|Mumble 6]], the troll army called out Chris on his statements regarding transgendered women. Chris claims that he forgot his previous statement, which may or may not be completely honest. In any event, Chris has discovered that (real or otherwise) a faulty memory is a socially acceptable way to dodge probing questions about ones past lies.

== Index of Chris's apologies ==

Below is an abridged list of Chris's various apologies for his many, many misdeeds. Small apologies may have been missed here and there, but these are the big ones.

*When Megan [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called Chris out on his reprehensible actions]] regarding the porn he drew of her, he first [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|copy-pasted "Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you."]] fifteen times in an e-mail to her, then [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|went into detail about how a handjob works]], figuring that [[virgin with rage|sexual frustration]] and [[naive|ignorance]] were the root causes of her [[chris and anger|anger]]. Projecting, much?
*After Chris was banned from [[The Game Place]], he tried several times to get unbanned. The first was [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|a video where Chris apologies just so he can buy more junk]]. The [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|second]] was where he prepared a script, stashed a camera in his pocket, then walked into The Game Place to confront [[Michael Snyder]], claiming he had changed and apologizing for his actions. After Michael flatly refused to listen and called the cops, Chris berated him on religious grounds then called him a Jew.
*After threatening [[Vivian]]'s life when she made better [[audiobooks]] than he did, Chris apologized to her... then made a demand for a cut of her "profits", the two sentences separated by only a single dot.
*In [[I am Alive]], Chris apologizes for his ungentlemanly conduct in regard to Asperchu. This was a transparent attempt to get the [[homo]] ads removed from the [[CWCipedia]] and his behavior [[9 February 2010|subsequent]] to this apology proved he meant nothing he said in the video.
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris apologized to the Asperchu Four ''while simultaneously having them brutally executed'', including having one of them killed by a [[Sandy|toddler]].
*After [[April 16 Fetish Vids|filming himself performing sex acts for Ivy]], Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|apologized for his actions]] but structured his apology to state that his behavior was, in fact, completely normal and that [[Ching Chong]] shouldn't feel bad for watching it.
*In [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions]], Chris apologized for cheating on [[Ivy]].
*After [[Twin Falling Towers|mocking the worst act of domestic terrorism]] in United States history, Chris made a subsequent [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|apology video]]... which featured the Twin Towers as candles on a birthday cake, complete with multiple gouts of flame flying from the top.
*When [[Kacey]] discovered Chris had pretended to be the [[Liquid Chris|other, better Chris]] in order to get a travel visa to [[China]], Chris apologized by way of his video [[I Love You Kacey|"I Love You Kacey"]], where he claimed he "...was wrong for the right reasons."
*Chris '''finally''' [[02 March 2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on the 2nd of March. However, only a month later on the 8th of April he was talking to [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

==Sources==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Chris and race

2011-10-05T13:08:02Z

Ash link:

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup]]
[[File:Niggo.jpg|thumb|250px|"Oh yeah, he's also Old Fashioned."]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''racist tendencies''' can be traced at least partially to his Southern [[USA|U.S.]] heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==African Americans==
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his father]], his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence his use of the words "nigger" and "niggos."

==Asians==
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy]] as a kung fu master with slanty eyes. When a fan criticized this stereotyping, Chris claimed that Punchy was "NOT of Asian origin."<ref>[[Mailbag 6]]</ref> Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung fu to Japan, when in actuality it comes from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown that Chris simply does not seem to know that China and Japan are not the same, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they are separate countries with different languages, writing systems and currencies.

In his real-life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he never includes black hair when he lists suitable hair colors for potential [[sweethearts]], which would exclude most Asian women. He also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin C. Kang of Korean Hope Presbyterian Church of Richmond in the [[church audio]].<ref>[http://www.taxexemptworld.com/organizations/chesterfield-county-va-virginia.asp?spg=2]</ref>

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

===Ching Chong===
[[Image:ChingChong.jpg|thumb|The only known image of "Ching Chong".]]
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris present us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Chéng Zhong'') is now traumatized due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of native are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "[[Cherokian]]" heritage with ''Sonichu'' lore. He depicts [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]] characters in his work as white-skinned and blue-eyed, and wearing Ancient Roman-style armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith, Jr|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The [[Wasabi Clan]] also bear no resemblance to Native Americans.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous "Cheroki-Chan", a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water-washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. This video was inevitable [[fail]] because true Cherokee wore vests and used only bows and arrows, which Chris [[I AM STRONG|lacks the strength]] to use.

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder!... JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}
In "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]", Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the [[CWCville]] Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has seven candles in it, while the traditional menorah used on Hanukkah IRL, called a ''Hanukkiah'', has nine) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles (especially single ones not on a Menorah) are super-important to Jews!

Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply ''asking'' if he's allergic, she just assumes it. Because Jews are Melvins with many allergies, you see.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating specially ''fried'' foods (latke and sufganiyah) on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

Near the beginning of Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish (although "Snyder" is a very common German last name, meaning "to cut"), using his last name as a point of reference. Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-mind|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

If Chris's antisemitism was veiled before, it becomes extremely apparent in an email he sent to [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Katie Bay while impersonating Samantha Thaddeus]]. While talking about Michael Snyder, he refers to him as a "son of a bitch Jew" and a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew".

==Hispanics==
[[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|thumb|left|Espanolic, the Spanish Pokémon]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on the [[Spanish]] language, Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a Grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized [[Wikipedia:Sombrero|sombrero]] in front of what appears to be the flag of [[Wikipedia:Bolivia|Bolivia]] or [[Wikipedia:Ghana|Ghana]], and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "[[Wikipedia:Spanish fly|Spanish Fly]]", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which they did being far less blatantly stereotypical.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the [[Homos|lesbian]] nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that oftentimes, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for people actually from Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from Ireland or Scotland as "English").

Chris has shown in the past a willingness to [[Joshua Martinez|befriend]] and [[Lori Lopez|date]] Hispanics.

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern [[United States]] before the civil rights movement and [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|has claimed to have friends in the Ku Klux Klan and may be a member himself]], it's safe to assume that some of his prejudices passed on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only three white players and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. In [[2008]], Bob said that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black." In a [[Prank_calls#Call_Bobby_Chandler|2010 prank call]], Bob implied that he was a Ku Klux Klan member, and said ''"I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it."'' Of course, he may have just made these claims to intimidate [[troll]]s.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides Southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical [[Adult Swim]] cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in ''Sonichu'' with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming [[Cherokee]] ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic. Chris most likely has no idea what kind of rituals took place in Native American culture. If he did, he would know that some tribes slit their [[duck|cocks]] to please the gods. I bet he doesn't want to be Native American anymore. Or does he?

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was [[Wikipedia:Jaleel White|Jaleel White]], a [[Niggos|black]] man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. (In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]], he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" except the ones being black because he's "Old Fashioned".)

Realistically, Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. In other words, he's afraid of ethnic groups he's not familiar with. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]]. Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|image]] leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

This just in: Chris is a bigot. If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris was anything short of the most horrible person on earth, he ended Sonichu Day by calling Tito the N-word in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included [[Jack Thaddeus]] removing his ads from CWCipedia and [[Mao]] taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) Soon, Chris also called Michael Snyder a Jew (in a derogatory way) in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]. He later performed [[Song for Jackie.MOV|a song in ''blackface'']] for his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. {{clear}}

==Minority characters in ''Sonichu''==
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish, good, never seen)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half black)
*[[Blake]] (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
*[[Punchy]] (Chinese-Japanese, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Turdijerk]] (Asian?, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST police officers)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, never seen)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist)|Bill Schwartz]] (possibly Jewish, worked for [[Giovanni]] but later on changed sides)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|Ching Chong]] (Asian, appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as a flower girl)

In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

Chris and art

2011-10-05T13:07:48Z

Ash link:

{{quote|I'm a creative genius.|Chris, to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>}}

[[Image:ProportionFail.jpg|thumb|Chris is an expert at proportion]]

'''Art''' has been, and always will be, [[Chris]]'s selling point. From the very day [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] found out about Chris and his creation of [[Sonichu]] to today, many people have taken interest in Chris because of his infamously bad artwork. Encouraging Chris to produce more of it remains a popular troll objective.

The sad part is, this is the closest Chris has to an actual "skill." It's no wonder he's never been able to keep a job.

==Chris and the medium==

=== Exercise of skills and improvement in craft ===
[[Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|Chris's earliest known drawing from when he was 15. No, not 1.5 - ''fifteen''.]]
[[Image:0025-ChristophersMicroMornings.jpg|thumb|left|Not bad for a grade-schooler. Sadly, he peaked in the [[1980s]].]]
Since Chris first started drawing, his artwork has been abysmal. The extent to which it has improved since the first time he drew [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] is equivalent to going from the skills of a four-year old to those of an eight-year old. Chris has never considered his artistic skill in need of improvement; he is always fully satisfied by the first attempt at a drawing he makes.

Because he believes his art is already perfect, Chris does not see the need to practice. He does no drawing exercises, and cannot look for room for improvement in his drawings because he refuses to accept the idea that his drawings can be in any way flawed.

Naturally, being an artist of that caliber, Chris takes it upon himself to criticize the art that [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]] send to him, and is quick to point out the myriad "flaws" in each work.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#After Emily]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Part 2]]</ref>

Chris has said he spends "an hour at most" drawing a comic page and about a half-hour coloring it.<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In which Chris insults someone who drew a picture for him]]</ref> He is simply not aware of or refuses to accept the fact that producing the kind of high quality artwork that fans expect in a good comic strip is very labor intensive and can easily take hours even with professional software programs such as Photoshop.

In his mind, the act of creating is almost a chore. Because to him every idea he has is perfect from the moment it pops into his head, creating is just a matter of recording his genius. At times, he would expand ''Sonichu'' stories in summary form on [[CWCipedia]], a medium better equipped to keep up with his racing and easily distracted imagination. Everything he says or writes, he considers to be a part of his comic's continuity partly because it is easier to record these euphoric and fleeting bouts of inspiration as they occur rather than days, weeks, months, or even years later in comic form.

Chris believes that everything he creates is inherently worthy of adoration, and that it will bring him legions of adoring fans and the [[China|attention]] of women.

=== Comic writing and structure ===
{{main|Chris and writing}}
Chris is as poor a writer as he is an artist. He does no preparatory writing or preliminary revision; his narrative is wholly improvised and shifts regularly; he cannot write clear, succinct dialogue; and he has little regard for visual clarity.

=== Choices of materials and technology ===
[[File:Marker Section.jpg|thumb|Crayola is the official art supplier for the ''Sonichu'' franchise, whether they like it or not.]]
Chris believes that his so-called "hand-drawing style" is superior to art produced by any other means. This is due to Chris's hatred to change what he has already learned and his belief, as a consequence of his [[Chris and his ego|ego]], that his method is the best by virtue of being his.

Obviously, Chris's skill cannot compensate for the poor materials he uses. He does his work a disservice by using tools that are the cheapest available: copy paper, Pentel RSVP ballpoint pens and Crayola Magic Markers.<ref>[[Mumble 7#10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies|Mumble #7]]</ref> These happen to be the tools he has used since childhood.

Chris's artwork is far from archival quality, and in some instances shows [[Wedding Comic|signs of wrinkling]] as soon as it has been finished. Chris has defended his practice of [[Chris and writing#Dialogue|rampant textwalling]] as a way to "save marker ink."<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

Chris appears to have some version of Photoshop at his disposal (as seen in the "Spider-Man-fucking [[Clyde]]" saga), but uses it sparingly outside of lettering and inserting photographs and other drawings in comics. Chris's font of choice is [[wikipedia:Comic Sans|Comic Sans]], a font that is almost universally condemned as overused and ugly.<ref>[http://bancomicsans.com Ban the Comic Sans]</ref><ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 They will make you taste the curb]</ref>

Chris believes that using new technology creatively provides an unfair advantage in the service of inferior results. Chris has consistently called ''Asperchu'' "blocky and low resolution" because it was drawn with a tablet. In one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|phone calls to Alec Benson Leary]], Chris said his hand drawn art had "more character" (never mind that tablet art is technically hand-drawn art anyway). He also thinks that his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|web page]] was awesome because it was made from "notepad scratch", i.e., built with Windows Notepad instead of complex WYSIWYG tools like FrontPage; Chris forgets that while a lot of professional web designers also write raw HTML with text editors, they generally also have some eye for aesthetics.

=== Drawing techniques ===
[[Image:CChanDraws.jpg|thumb|Strange pen grips can be corrected with the assistance of school teachers. Chris slept through these lessons.]]
Chris has never even learned to hold a pen correctly. Instead of holding the front of the pen with the thumb and forefinger, he draws with his index finger sticking out and bent around the pen. Give this a try and see how long it takes for your hand to cramp up.

While most artists will produce multiple sketch versions of a single drawing, often layered on top of one another, Chris's confidence in his innate artistic ability is such that his first step in a page of ''Sonichu'' is drawing the final lineart in pen before coloring it in with Crayola markers. If he makes a mistake, he goes "Oh well!" and continues. There is no post-processing beyond adding text to word balloons with MS Paint. Attempts to inform him that digital coloring is more efficient and far less expensive than wasting gallons of marker ink filling in monocolor backgrounds have failed.

=== Visual style and anatomy ===
[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Nice arms you got there, Chris.]]
{{Quote|sonichu had kind of a kiddy art style, which i guess was your point. [...] i thought you meant it as an avant-garde thing, to make a statment like, ironically bad|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>}}
Before the comics, Chris attempted realism for work in oil pastel, charcoal, and graphite, presumably for art classes in school. The results can be seen in the gallery below.

Chris started out with a cartoony style for the comic book, full of techniques consistent with early efforts at drawing by small children. Things changed as Chris got into [[anime]] and manga, and sought to emulate them to impress his [[gal-pal]] at the time, [[Megan Schroeder]]. Like many amateur western artists, he copies only the surface elements of the anime style: big eyes, pentagonal heads, speed lines. These art elements were simply laid over his original "style" with no adjustment.

Chris makes no attempt to maintain consistency in character designs, and has no understanding of classical anatomy and proportion in figure drawing. His characters are drawn using simple shapes - colored-in outlines without ''any'' shading - and even so, he is unable to keep the shapes consistent to any degree. For example, in the opening of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|the children]] tend to noticeably get deformed in different manner in each panel, despite the fact that they're drawn as just an oval for the head, a rectangle for the body, and smaller ovals for the arms and legs. In all characters, limbs morph, heads change size, and faces become unrecognizable; it's only by color scheme that we can guess which character is which. Beyond his differently-colored eyes and Sonichu medallion, no two Chrises have ever looked alike, or even remotely resembled the actual Chris. The character sizes are also inconsistent, which is strange considering most of the characters appear to be about the same size: in most drawings where Sonichu is carrying Rosechu, Rosechu seems to shrink. Finer details of human anatomy have long escaped him; because Chris never draws women with pronounced hips, the results tend to resemble children or men, with unfortunate implications in either case.

[[Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|thumb|This car will either always veer left or never run at all.]]

Despite boasting that his "drawings of perspective viewpoints are surpassive[sic]"<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> due to his training in [[CADD]], Chris constantly fails at perspective, with objects implied to be far-away depicted too large. This is evident in his many [[Son-Chu|vehicle designs]], where the front is usually a direct frontal (90 degree) view, regardless of the view angle of other sides. This inability to demonstrate parallel lines renders the car distorted. The lack of any concept of shading only further destroys any semblance of perspective; legs that are implied to be bent forward at the knee only end up looking shorter.

Possibly the worst offender is Chris's constant omission of backgrounds. Most scenes happen only on the white backdrop of the paper. Apparently, readers are supposed to infer what the background looks like based on context. Thus, simply drawing a wide-angle shot of the scenery as the first (usually transitional) panel in a scene would suffice. Combined with his inability to make a proper layout, many action scenes end up becoming a jumble of characters moving around without regards to sequence. The reason he does this is probably the same as the reason why he textwalls so often: to "save marker ink," meaning he's lazy. (Incidentally, the proper use of white space and the conservation of painted space is a key element in East Asian art, but despite his anime obsession he is unlikely to have heard of this.)

A related phenomenon is simply drawing characters as floating disembodied heads. The [[Magi-chan|deus ex machina/exposition machine]] is the biggest victim of this. Once again, Chris could not be arsed to draw a full body. Thus, combining all known forms of "marker ink conservation", some pages are just a bunch of floating heads speaking walls of text.

Chris owns at least one book about drawing manga, as seen in [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]. The book in itself covers everything to do with portraying couples, including images of couples in bed making love. Whether Chris bought it to better draw out his delusional fantasies or for more material to gawk at during mass debating isn't known. Either way, the book has taught him nothing.

=== Character design ===
::''See also [[Chris and Writing#Characterization|Characterization]]''

A large portion of ''Sonichu'''s cast is clearly derivative of existing characters. In addition to the obvious ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' recolors, Chris has lifted designs from any anime, video game, or even Western animation he is fond of, with no regard for visual consistency.

Beyond that, he doesn't even bother trying to design better clothing for his characters. Most of them wear stereotypical "basic" clothing and Chris himself wears his usual clown shirts and pants. With the sole exception of [[Meg-chan]], every female that shows up in his comics wears high-heeled dress shoes.

Even when the source of Chris's plagiarism is readily apparent, these lifts can still add up to less than the sum of their parts. Inspired by the fusion characters of ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[God of War]]'', [[Collosal Chan]] looks more like a hobo than a fusion of Chris and Chris-Chan Sonichu. Though clearly his own effort to design baby [[Pokémon]], [[Sonee and Rosey]] look more unnerving than adorable.

===Fan service===
[[wikipedia:Fan service|Fan service]] is a term used to describe something that is meant to tease or please the audience. It can refer to any content seen as an effort to appease the desires of fans, but is used primarily, and in this section, to describe scenes of a sexually titillating nature.

Since his discovery by the Internet, Chris has inserted increasingly large amounts of fan service into the initially tame Sonichu in an effort to assert the heterosexuality of himself and his characters. The range of fan service in ''Sonichu'' includes panty shots, Rosechu's [[women's rights|stripping]], cameltoe indentations, and even a full [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|sex scene]] followed by four pages of text and diagrams describing Sonichu and Rosechu's sexual anatomy.

Due to his lack of artistic faculties, much of Chris's depictions of sexuality are highly unsettling to most readers. Any attempts to add "sexy" material come across as Chris's own wish-fulfillment, rather than attempts by Chris to please his audience.

While the point of fan service is to hint at sexuality in an otherwise clean work meant for general audiences, ''Sonichu'''s sexual content hides nothing and disturbs many, despite the fact that Chris has always viewed ''Sonichu'' as a comic intended for children.

==Animation==
Most recently, Chris has taken up a new medium in the form of animation. Using the Nintendo DSi program ''Flipnote Studios'', Chris has taken his drawing to a whole new level. Or at least could have. His drawing has degraded greatly when doing artwork here, mostly due to using the DS's stylus pen. When doing animations, his characters have very little fluid movement to them and they seem to jerk and wobble, as if they're characters from ''Ed, Edd, & Eddy'' or ''Home Movies''. The best one to tell of this is the [[Don'tGetTrolled!]] animation. You can tell which part was animated by Chris and which part was animated by the original author, 8-Bit, because Chris's artwork just wobbles in a distorted fashion.

== Chris and the industry ==
{{main|Chris and the industry}}
In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his art is of professional quality, and expects to enter the comic and video game industries. His résumé states a desire to produce ''Sonichu'' comics under contract for Marvel Entertainment or Archie Comics. By all indications, this is an idle wish as Chris expects to be approached by these companies first. Chris has consistently shown little comprehension of, or interest in learning about, how the creative industries actually work.

==Originality==
He has [[Things Chris has ripped off|none]]. Let's leave it at that.

==Plagiarism==
: ''See also: [[Chris and copyright]]''

''Sonichu'' is a fine blend of a wide variety of recognizable copyrighted elements. Just about any existing medium that Chris has ever expressed a fondness for appears in some capacity.

Chris has a long history of claiming all credit for fan characters initially acknowledged as being created by others and offered for use in Chris's comics. The first of these were [[Megagi]], [[Jiggliami]], and [[Layla]], but the most infamous instance, and the one that Chris defended the most fervently, was [[Simonla Rosechu]].

At the same time, Chris once had a policy of threatening nonexistent legal action against the creators of any ''Sonichu'' fan art he could find, and was worked into a [[12 January 2010|magnificent rage]] over the ''Sonichu''-derivative fan work ''[[Asperchu]]''.

As well, Chris has gone so far as to take [[Don'tGetTrolled!|a video]] and alter it to suit his needs. Now, granted, there were other videos done using that same video, but where they just altered the stick character or sped up the video in the same vein as a YouTube Poop, Chris completely and utterly altered the video to suit his needs so that a humorous video over [[trolling]] is turned into Chris's mouthpiece to destroy Freedom of Speech to make the Internet safer for him.

===Tracing===
'''Tracing''' is an art technique where another piece of art, in whole or part, is copied along its outlines. As a means of producing original art claimed as one's own, tracing is a form of plagiarism.

Images traced from existing copyrighted content appear regularly in ''Sonichu''. Chris traces with the "Reflecta Sketch", a since-discontinued toy tracing kit produced by Spin Master. The kit comes with a reflective piece of plastic where an original can be placed to the left and the reflection is used for tracing an outline. This is why most traced images in ''Sonichu'' are mirror images of the original work. Due to their poor quality, consistent in appearance with ''Sonichu'' art that is not traced, these traced images often go unnoticed as tracing. The fact that Chris [[fail]]s even at tracing is a surprise to no one.

Alternatively, Chris uses these images as references and simply tries to draw images free-hand based on them. This is no worse than directly tracing the outlines, but better explains why his results are so distorted in respect to their references. Chris probably uses a combination of both techniques (as some images look closer to their originals than others), showing utter lack of skill and originality either way.

===Traced images from the ''Sonichu'' Comic===
<center><gallery>
Image:Trace1.jpg
Image:Trace2.jpg
Image:Trace3.jpg
Image:Trace4.jpg
Image:Trace5.jpg
Image:Trace6.jpg
Image:Aquateenvssonichu.jpg
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg
Image:RClina.jpg
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg
Image:Bumble-Lumba-Bumblebee.jpg
Image:Prowl prower.jpg
Image:SOUNDAXE.JPG
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg
Image:Familyguytrace.png
Image:Cwct1.JPG
File:Rosey caesar.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Rule 34==
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|Chris's creations believe that his [[Rule 34]] artwork is "lifelike".]]
Chris has no shame, and neither does his artwork. Of his many sexually explicit drawings, the most damning one of all is [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]], which brought an end to the Megan Saga and cemented the notion that Chris was an incestuous [[pedofork]].

As seen in this gallery, Chris can't even copy bad porn to save his life, with Rosechu turning into a deformed monstrosity in each panel, all for the sake of [[Chris and sex|sex]]. Especially noticeable is the final picture, which shows off a recurring trend in his pictures: the "Glowing Cunt", in which Chris draws the "[[cum]]" from the woman ''around'' and ''outside'' the vagina instead of from the inside, making it appear to glow.

It can be reasonably assumed that all of the images in this gallery are traced, and that those not paired plagiarized source material simply have yet to have their "inspirations" discovered.

=== Gallery of traced Rule 34 pictures ===
{{collapsible
|Incredibly horrific and NSFW, this is your last chance to escape with your sanity.
|<gallery>
Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 2.JPG
Image:chrischantraced3.jpg
Image:Chris-chan Traced 4.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 5.JPG
</gallery>}}

==Art gallery==
Seen below is a selection of Chris's public school art assignments, from a slideshow on Chris's homemade [[DVD]]. At his high school graduation, Chris expected to be "Highly Recognized" for his "ARTISTIC TALENT", represented in this body of work. When he was not, he cried.<ref>[[Manchester High School#Graduation]]</ref> This work was produced under the supervision of a professional art instructor and the incentive for Chris to give each piece more thought, care and attention than he now prefers to when creating only for his own satisfaction. Despite this, they're still terrible. Note that some readers may find several of these images inadvertently terrifying.

{{collapsible
|Gallery of Chris's Art
|<gallery>
Image:441-CubScoutShield.JPG|Defending the honor of [[Chris and health|junk food everywhere!]]
Image:442-HedgehogShark1.JPG|Sculpted in such a way that it looks like a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|toilet]] at first blush.
Image:443-HedgehogShark2.JPG|
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|Fox McCloud one month after crash-landing in the middle of Africa.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|The result of Rosechu's late-term abortion.
Image:446-CWCWeave.JPG|The teacher quickly thought up something to keep Chris occupied for the rest of the lesson.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Coming soon from Franklin Mint...
Image:448-CWCWigwam.JPG|Ancient relic of the [[Cherokian Clan]].
Image:449-CWCDreamCatcher.JPG|It doesn't catch dreams. It ''stares into your soul''.
Image:450-HedgehogFish1.JPG|Sad to say, it was originally Chris who came up with the "Long fish is loooooo
Image:451-HedgehogFish2.JPG|oooooooooooong" meme.
Image:452-CWCsBunchOfArt.jpg|Scan of a print of a photograph of drawings. How very meta!
Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|[[Autism]] is in Living Room. Autism is in Wife. Autism is in Children and - well - Autism is in Life.
Image:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|A rare shot of Chris's largely forgotten Pokémons, Espanolic and Vegaton.
Image:459-CWCsBanjo.JPG|Banjo, the champion of Christianity and bright colors.
Image:460-CWCsComputerGraphicsPoster.JPG|In the first lesson, the computer graphics teachers usually say something like "Don't go crazy with the effects, m'kay?" Chris never listens.
Image:463-SonicAndTailsBunch.jpg|A Magic Eye picture that reveals absolutely nothing. We tried.
Image:464-CWCSpeckle.jpg|The teacher who traumatized Chris wasn't actually the principal - it was the art teacher, who forced Chris to make a drawing with prickly-wicklies.
Image:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|Chris's masterpiece of originality, second only to the creation of Sonichu<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>: an ash tray that shoots tobacco straight to the Sun - powered by dark magic.
Image:466-CWCNecklace.jpg|Some [[Cherokian Clan|Ancient Cherokian]] [[Sex toys|anal beads]].
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|It's... off-center.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Sonic [[Yawning Squirtle|unfocuses]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's shield was eaten.
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Following in Ed Gein's footsteps.
Image:472-CWCWingCapDish.JPG|We don't know ''what'' this is, but it has the letter C, so it's obviously Chris's.
Image:473-YarnPot.JPG
Image:474-SquarePot.JPG
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|A relaxing person who bears little resemblance to Chris.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|The same. Hilariously enough, [http://www.miketyndall.com/todd_goldman/ Todd Goldman] ripped off the "[[White knight#Chris will reject your advice|I just don't listen]]" things on the background. Everything is interconnected! [[Soul Calibur|Tracing and ignorance, fiercely entangled!]]
Image:477-PastelDuoPic.JPG
Image:478-PastelHorses.JPG|[[My Little Pony|Proto-Cheroki-Chan.]]
Image:479-PastelSunset.JPG|[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|A big golden turd.]]
Image:482-SwirlingEspanolics.JPG
Image:483-RainbowLeaf.JPG|Oh my GAWD! What does this ''mean''?
Image:484-MergingPeople.JPG|Art class pictures usually have some sort of central idea the teacher gave to the students. Chris is unable to communicate it to us.
Image:485-CWCsF.JPG|It's a passable drawing, so it's possible Chris didn't fail the class. But if it is a drawing of failure, did he also create his first time paradox here?
Image:486-CWCcatchesaPikachu.JPG|Chris approaches a wild Pikachu, aiming to bash its brains out with a rare pygmy Electrode.
Image:487-CWCMergedinArt.jpg|A clever idea. Probably his teacher's, though.
Image:488-100_0521.JPG|Something that looks like the shopping mall, but actually isn't.
Image:489-100_0522.JPG|"I wish I were in [[Inos|Jamacia]]" (sic). Deep-rooted wishes, I see.
Image:490-100_0523.JPG|Colorful arboreal antics.
Image:491-100 0524.JPG|Possibly "L" and "O". Could be a corruption of LOL.
Image:492-100 0525.JPG|Raichu, the Turbo Megazord, Sonic, Game Boy and Nintendo 64 controller.
Image:493-100 0526.JPG|See, he ''can'' draw a proportional drinking straw. [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] was ''deliberate''.
Image:494-100 0527.JPG|Indistinct shapes, possibly [[Crass and Champ|crabs]].
Image:495-100 0528.JPG|A collage of weird local imagery.
Image:496-100 0529.JPG|Daffodils, which, in Greek mythology, first came forth as a result of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. Also: Skeleton.
Image:497-100 0530.JPG|[[Christian's name change|The Bear]] keeps on truckin'.
Image:498-100 0531.JPG|[[fapcup|Jars]]. A proudly standing bottle and a tomato, casting nice round shadows.
Image:499-100 0532.JPG|Mysterious floating keyring.
Image:500-100 0533.JPG|Not sure what ''this'' is, but it looks a bit phallic.
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|Chris's Ash Ketchum get-up.
Image:503-100 0537.JPG|Pikachu, Mew, what looks like Chris's personal Pokégear stuff, and an ad for [[CWC's Pokésite 2]].
Image:504-100 0538.JPG|[[April 16 Fetish Vids|Shower]]???
Image:505-100 0539.JPG|A drawer full of what appears to be [[CWCFlyingElephants|socks]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
Image:506-100 0540.JPG|[[R.L. Stine]] books and Pokémon.
</gallery>}}

==Costume Design==
Continuing his trend of using the cheapest materials possible while incorporating only the vaguest of likenesses, Chris's foray in cosplay is par for the course with his hand-drawings. They're poorly made, not thought out, and Chris likely believes they're professional quality.

For examples, see ''[[Chris and cosplaying|Chris and Cosplaying]]''.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Sonichu}}

Chandler Family Tree

2011-10-05T13:07:28Z

Ash link:

This '''Chandler Family Tree''' includes pets and people [[Chris]] imagines to be related to him.

[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Ancient leader]] [[Anne Boleyn]],
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|of the]] [[Anne Boleyn|Queen of England]]──────Mary Boleyn
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee Clan]] │
│ ???
│ │
│ Richard Weston,
│ 1st Earl of Portland
│ │
│ ???
??? │
│ [[Daniel Weston]]
│ │
│ ???
│ │
│ ├────────────────────────────────────┬─────────┬─────────────────────┐
│ │ │ │ │
[[Bob|Robert]] [[Barbara|Barbara]] Jack Ran [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]] Harriett Tom [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Raymond]]
???---------[[Bob|Franklin]]-------------[[Barbara|Anne]]-----------Dale or Coleman [[Aunt Corrina|Weston]] Ashby-----Ashby [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Weston]]
│ [[Bob|Chandler Jr.]] │ [[Barbara|Weston]] │ Smithey Yeatts │
┌───────────┤ ┌─────┴─────┐ │ │
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[David Alan Chandler|David]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol]] [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] [[cats]] [[Cole]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Jonathan]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Alan]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Suzanne]] [[Chris|Weston]] [[Cole|Smithey]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Carey]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Chandler]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Chandler]] [[Chris|Chandler]]
│ │
│ ┌─────┴─────┬───────────┬───────────┐
│ │ │ │ │
[[Savannah]] [[Patti]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] [[Sonichu]]-----[[Rosechu]]
[[Savannah|Chandler]] [[Patti|Chandler]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Weston]] │
[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chandler]] │
┌─────┴─────┬───────────┐
│ │ │
[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cerah]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Christine]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]]

==Poké Family Tree==

[[Image:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]
[[Image:456-FamilyTreeAndCar.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]

Chris drew his family tree in the form of [[Pokémon]]. He gives pilgrim hats to those on the Weston side and feathered headdresses to those on the Chandler side, both in reference to the [[Daniel Weston|superfluous]] [[Cherokian Clan|tales]] of Chris's heritage.

Below is a transcription with the format ''Name / Date of Birth / Description / Culture and Pokemon''.

; Top row

* [[Cole Smithey]] / born 7.24.1969 / Likes to play drums. Movie reviewer for New York Newspaper / English Pilgrim Electabuzz
* [[Chris|Christian W. Chandler]] / born 2.24.82 / Likes [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic]], and [Mario?]. 12th Grade student at [[Manchester High]] / Pikachu with Both Pilgrim and [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]] garb.
* [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol Chandler]] / born 7.7.64 / Math wiz at college. / Native American Wigglytuff
* [[David Alan Chandler|Allen Chandler]] [sic] / born 12.2?.62 / ophthalmologist / Native American Alakazam

; Row 2

* Harriett Ashby / born ?.?.? / Administrative Assistant. Married to Tom Ashby / English Pilgrim Clefable
* [[Barbara|Barbara W. Chandler]] / born ?.?.? / ??? / English Pilgrim [[Pokémon#Snorlax|Nidoqueen]]
* [[Bob|Robert F. Chandler]] / born 2.9.1928 / Retired Engineer. Likes old music. / Native American Nidoking

; Row 3

* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Clefairy
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Haunter
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Vulpix
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Farfetch’d

; Row 4

* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Victreebell
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Fearow
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Dugtrio
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Jynx
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Porygon
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Jigglypuff
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Sandslash

; Row 5

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Exeggutor
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Kadabra

; Bottom row

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Hitmonlee
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Nidorina
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Persian

== Actual family tree ==
Also note that Chris's great grandfather, Robert P. Wynn, was allegedly a two-timing drunk who "failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children".<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Imaginary people removed:

[[File:Harvey Powers updated family tree.gif]]

== See also ==

*[[Minor Family Members]]

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Family Members| ]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Attraction Location

2011-10-05T13:06:53Z

Ash link:

{{Quote|As I sit and [[sigh]], 
[[The Creepy Stare|I watch the girls go by]]. 
Afraid of a lame intersecption, 
I sit out in the open without hesitation. 
Matching Girl descriptions are free, 
I wish one girl would notice and approach me.
|Poem by Chris<ref>[[Hard Love Quest]]</ref>}}

An '''Attraction Location''',<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> also called an "Attraction Spot",<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref> is a [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] for any place where [[Chris]] sits passively, hoping to attract the attention of [[boyfriend-free girl|single women]]. Along with his [[Attraction Sign]] and [[Axe]] body spray, use of an Attraction Location has been a crucial component of Chris's [[Love Quest]].

In practice, the Attraction Locations that Chris chose left him exposed to discovery by [[Mary Lee Walsh|various]] [[Manajerks|authority]] [[Jerkops|figures]], who take umbrage with his methods. He steadfastly refused to abandon his post until he was either [[banned]] or forcibly removed from the premises. Undaunted, he would go on to find new Attraction Locations, only to be banned from them as well.

It's interesting to note that the use of these different locations marks some of the few significant milestones in Chris's life between [[2003]] and [[2008]], and even this minor change in his routine was forced upon him. It's entirely possible that if Chris had made less of a ruckus, he might still be sitting in his original Attraction Location to this day, indifferent to the years wasted in his fruitless endeavor.

==Attraction Locations==
=== In [[Charlottesville]]===
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (until suspension on 16 September [[2004]])
* [[University of Virginia]] (until December 2004; briefly returned during [[March 2009]], following [[Julie]] débâcle)
* [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] (February 2004 until banned on 29 March 2005, briefly during March 2009, [[May 2009]] until imminent permaban)
* [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] (until kicked out on 20 and 22 June 2005)
* [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] (until arrested and thrown out on 20 July 2005)
* [[The GAMe PLACe]] (although not primarily an Attraction Location, Chris met [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] there, and possibly considered it a good place to meet subsequent women, at least until being permabanned on 28 August [[2008]])
* [[Fridays After Five]] (used in [[June 2010]], sporting a [[muscle bra]] he'd written on; seemed to attract the attention of a few [[Pedofork|underage girls]]).

===In [[Ruckersville]]===
* [[14 Branchland Court]] (since late [[2008]], Chris has mostly confined his Love Quest to the [[Internet]]. While perhaps not officially an Attraction Location, his basic technique of sitting around waiting for love to find him remains unchanged.)

==Attraction time==
Chris's time spent at his attraction location would be called his "attraction time".<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> While waiting for a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to approach him, he would do things such as play on his [[Nintendo|DS]], watch videos on his DS, pace back and forth, sing loudly, and so forth. These activities which, obviously, were rather distracting to mall patrons (and not terribly attractive to nubile passersby), would factor into his being [[banned]] from such locations.

Due to his imbalanced [[biological clock]] (typically causing him to crash into slumber at about 6:30 A.M. and wake close to noon) attraction time would generally take place in the mid-to-late afternoon. This time would conveniently (and to the horror of the female patrons of [[Fashion Square]]) provide a higher concentration of potential sweethearts for Chris to harass.

[[Anna McLerran]]'s [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"]] is the definitive chronicle of Chris spending his attraction time, when he moved from sitting in front of [[Wikipedia:Abercrombie & Fitch|Abercrombie & Fitch]] to [[Wikipedia:Pacific Sunwear|Pac Sun]], where Anna was working at the time.

==See also==
* [[Attraction Sign]]
* [[Bagget]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Jerkop]]
* [[Love Quest]]
* [[Manajerks]]
* [[Mary Lee Walsh]]
* [[Sweetheart]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Excel Saga

2011-10-05T13:06:16Z

Ash link:

{{quote|Anime Review: Excel on Excel Saga
 
Excel Saga is a [[Random-access humor|wacky]] [[anime]] with [[parody|parodies]], an [[Boyfriend-free girl|energetic girl]], Excel, the ideological commander of ACROSS, [[ScotPalazzo‎|Il Palazzo]], a wandering soul, [[Niggo|Pedro]], and many other characters. The story is that it is a [[saga]] where Excel must suffer numerous hard adventures to realize ACROSS’ plan of conquest over a [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|corrupted]] world.
 
Excel Saga has a total of 26 episodes on a set of 6 [[DVD]]s. If I had to pick a favorite episode, I’d pick episode 17 where Excel travels to [[America]] where she describes the differences between [[Anime]] and [[American Rabbit|American Animation]]. She also does an excellent [[parody]] to the classic Anime, [[Sailor Moon]], in this episode.|--Review by Chris<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews3.htm</ref>}}

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris meets [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]], who played [[Wikipedia:List of Excel Saga characters#Hyatt|Hyatt]] in the [[English]] dub of ''Excel Saga''. This is also perhaps the only time Chris has touched an attractive woman without her being immediately repulsed. What a brave, brave woman.]]

While the [[plagiarism]] in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] is obvious to just about anyone, there are even deeper, more subtle layers of unoriginality in Chris's masterwork. Truly, if Sonichu is the bastard [[gay]] love-child of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]], then Excel is surely his surrogate mother. For while the characters in ''Sonichu'' are mostly fusions of [[Sonic]] characters and ''[[Pokémon]]'' characters, Chris draws a lot of his "[[humor]]" from '''''Excel Saga''''', along with various other miscellaneous ideas that wound up in the comics.

Additionally, ''Excel Saga'' has left something of a cultural impression upon Chris's personal life as well. The purpose of this article is to list as many of these influences as possible, and to provide the original context for those unfamiliar with the anime. Due to the relative obscurity of ''Excel Saga'', and the complexity of Chris's plagiarism of it, this article will also provide some additional background on the series.
{{TOC limit|2}}

==Introduction==
[[Image:Excel-Saga.jpg|thumb|''Excel Saga'' (note Lord Il Palazzo in background and Menchi (the dog), a plushie Chris owns)]]

The genesis of the [[anime]] lay in [[Wikipedia:Rikdo Koshi|Rikdo Koshi]]'s fan comic, ''[[Wikipedia:Municipal Force Daitenzin|Municipal Force Daitenzin]]'', which was an adult-themed parody of the ''sentai'' genre (read: ''[[Power Rangers]]''). By [[1990s#1996|1996]] he had retooled the concept to focus on Excel, one of the characters in the original fan comic, and the first ''Excel Saga'' comics saw print in Japan. Fun fact: Rikdo dabbled in some [[Sonic]] fancomics as well, and he hit the big time at the age of 26, making him everything Chris has ever dreamed of being professionally, whether Chris is aware of it or not.

The manga tells the story of two factions struggling for control of the city of [[Wikipedia:Fukuoka|Fukuoka]], Japan. One, ACROSS, is led by the ruthless but myopic Lord Il Palazzo, who seeks to conquer the city as a stepping stone to world domination under his own high-minded ideals. His organization consists of only a handful of young women, who seem only vaguely aware of his intentions. The title character, Excel, is the first of these agents, later joined by Hyatt, and even later, Elgala. The second faction is the Department of City Security, headed by the civic-minded but manipulative Dr. Kabapu, a powerful government official. Over the course of the series, he recruits a number of people to work for his department, then slowly compels them to perform increasingly bizarre tasks in the name of civil defense. Though Kabapu and Il Palazzo share some mysterious history, the rest of their respective groups remain unaware of each other for much of the series. Against this backdrop, Rikdo weaves a satire of life in Japan during [[Wikipedia:Lost Decade (Japan)|the recession of the 1990s]].

Soon after the manga began publication, Rikdo was approached about an [[anime]] adaptation. He agreed, on the condition that the anime's storyline differ from his own, as the manga's plot was still unfolding. Further, much of the cynical, sometimes controversial humor in the comics was unsuitable for Japanese television, and so the anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, had to come up with additional material to fill out the show. Among these contributions were a new character Pedro, an immigrant worker, the Great Will of the Macrocosm, a cosmic entity capable of reshaping continuity, and Nabeshin, the director's over-the-top alter ego. To explain this flagrant disregard for the source material, one of the running gags of the anime is an ongoing struggle between Rikdo and Nabeshin for control over the creative direction of the series, with Rikdo using a comically oversized rubber stamp to approve the use of his characters to lampoon various anime genres.

==The series and Chris==

[[File:Modnation ExcelExcel.jpg|thumb|Excel in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

The series was then adapted for release in North America by [[Wikipedia:A.D. Vision|A.D. Vision]] in [[2002]], and would eventually end up in the DVD player of a certain [[autistic]] manchild we all know. The [[English]] dub adds yet another layer to the series, which parodies other anime series as it partially adapts a manga that itself parodies even more anime. To better help American audiences get the references, ADV included optional pop-up notes in the DVDs so that a befuddled viewer could learn just what the hell Excel was imitating or why such-and-such dialogue was supposed to be a pun in Japanese. In other words, 99.99999999996% of the humor in ''Excel Saga'' was almost certainly over Chris's head, and so when he speaks of the series as being funny, he's probably just repeating what it says on the back of the DVD case, or referring to slapstick humor like Excel falling down a hole. That Chris would dare to steal material from this series has three side-effects:

1) Chris doesn't actually understand what he's stealing. At least when he ripped off [[Pikachu]], he knew how to do it. Cute yellow thing shoots lightning. Simple. From there, Chris would go on to draw its [[penis]], but the basic gist of Pikachu was properly stolen. When Chris rips off a joke from ''Excel Saga'', however, he robs the gag of all context, resulting in an awkward line of dialogue that's unoriginal and unfunny.

2) Chris is ripping off anime he hasn't even seen. For example, since Chris actually had watched ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'', it's difficult to say for certain if the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] was lifted directly from ''DBZ'', or the episode of ''Excel Saga'' that parodied it. The vast majority of anime titles mocked or referenced by ''Excel Saga'', however, Chris has probably never even heard of, so when he steals that material, he doesn't realize it was already borrowed the first time.

3) For once, it isn't immediately obvious when Chris is ripping something off. Since ''Excel'' isn't nearly as well-known as [[Sonic]] or Pikachu, Chris can actually sort of get away with lifting ideas from it.

{{clear}}

{{collapsible
|Episode guide to ''Excel Saga'', with influences on Chris
|
===Episode 1===
[[Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|thumb|Chris's autographed copy of volume 1 of ''Excel Saga''.]]
Excel is assigned to assassinate manga artist Koshi Rikdo, who created the ''Excel Saga'' comics on which the anime is based. After the Will of the Macrocosm restarts the story several times, Excel gets a part-time job directing traffic for a construction site. There, she meets immigrant worker Pedro, who gets killed as a result of Excel's hyperactive negligence.

Influences on Chris:

*'''FQX as a replacement for the FOX network:''' An FQX searchlight logo is used at the end of each episode as Excel promotes the next one. Chris would use "FQX News" as the home network of Greta Squall when he ripped off the Spring Break bit from ''[[Family Guy]]'' in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].
*'''"Only three days since I skipped my last deadline":''' Sung aloud by Koshi Rikdo as he blithely draws his comics in his home, unaware that Excel is preparing to murder him. Chris would repeat this line for no good reason in "Off Target", featured in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].
*'''"PEDRO IS SHOCKED!":''' One of the many running gags throughout ''Excel Saga''. When a character is shocked they will scream out "SHOCK!" This is usually done by Pedro, but Nabeshin and Sandora have also said this. "SHOCK" has been used many times throughout the Sonichu comics, and this is most likely the inspiration.
*'''"I could do all this before breakfast, but I had lunch a couple of hours ago":''' Said by Pedro when Excel motivates him to work harder at the construction site. Even the characters acknowledge that's a shitty wordplay gag native to Japan. It's less of a joke than a sign that Pedro is settling into his host country. Nevertheless, Chris uses it in his "classic" Sonichu strip from January 13, [[2004]], featured in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].
*'''Il Palazzo:''' Excel's leader, whose vast ambitions are undermined by his myopic strategies. For example, Il Palazzo seeks to unite the entire world through conquest, yet seeks only the takeover of the city he lives in, since it poses a lesser risk. When he calls for a purge of comic books from his New Order, he sends Excel out to kill a single cartoonist (Koshi Rikdo), an empty gesture at best. Chris attempted to demonize the manager of the Fashion Square Mall by recreating him as "[[ScotPalazzo]]", but this is ineffective, as Il Palazzo is less a villain than a mere [[parody]] of one. This would be equivalent to combining Scot from [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with [[Wikipedia:Colonel Klink|Colonel Klink]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Hogan's Heroes|Hogan's Heroes]]'' or Dark Helmet from the movie ''[[Wikipedia:Spaceballs|Spaceballs]]''.
*'''Nabeshin:''' Self-insertion of series director Wata'''nabe Shin'''ichi. His appearance in his own anime is intended to be a parody of other directors who insert themselves in their own animes, and so he appears as a colorful man of action and mystery, often portrayed as more important and critical to the plot than the characters adapted from the original manga. In general, Chris probably draws justification for his own self-insertion into ''Sonichu'' because Shinichi did it first, ignoring the fact that the Nabeshin character manages to be ironic and badass at the same time. Shinabe, the martial arts master who raised [[Punchy Sonichu]], resembled Nabeshin in appearance and name.
*'''Excel:''' Hyperactive protagonist. Fanatically devoted to Il Palazzo's contradictory ideals, Excel blathers on endlessly throughout the series, with mixed comedic results. While the character "[[Mypoe]]" is named for ''[[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]'', another anime Shinichi Watanabe directed, she looks much more like Excel than anything else.
*'''Menchi:''' A small, white dog. In many ways, the mascot of the show. Chris owns a plushie of Menchi, which can be seen in the background of many of his videos. He also created "Menchi-Nasu High School" in his "[[The High School Story]]."

===Episode 2===
Sci-fi parody. Nabeshin senses his old master, the Space Butler, has been abducted by the Martian Puuchus, en route to invade the Earth. Excel destroys the Martian battleship in a manic fit, and the Martian's "Princess"--Hyatt--ends up in ACROSS headquarters, where Il Palazzo assumes her to be a new recruit.

Influences on Chris:

*'''Explaining the story''': After the opening credits Excel apologizes that the story from the first episode makes no sense at all. So she then tells us what the story is about, a few of the characters, and the setting as well. Being that Sonichu's story also makes no sense at all Chris would copy this in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].
*'''Puuchu''': If backed into a rhetorical corner, Chris would probably argue that his own blatant usage of [[Pikachu]] is legitimized by ''Excel Saga''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s Puuchus, cuddly yellow creatures clearly indented to resemble the popular ''Pokémon'' character. The difference, of course, being that Puuchus offer a [[Parody|humorous twist]] on Pikachu, in that not only their cuteness belies their hostile nature, but they also put a definitely not cute face on when hurt or serious.
** In addition, [[Sonees and Roseys]] certainly resemble Puchuus more than, say, Pichus.
===Episode 3===
[[Wikipedia:B movie|B movie]] action film parody. Il Palazzo tasks Hyatt with finding Excel, who was captured by mercenaries in the previous episode. Instead, Excel is rescued by Nabeshin, who infiltrates the mercenary camp to save his beloved Tetsuko. Nabeshin blows up a bunch of shit and Excel returns to Japan, where she meets the sickly Hyatt, who has barely even begun her first mission.
*'''Director as the main character''': While Nabeshin had been aggressively inserted into the story before, the action movie format necessitated him in a bigger role, and here he pretty much moves the entire storyline forward. Much of this episode, from Nabeshin's fruitless quest to save his love, to Nabeshin's impossible victory over an entire army, would be reflected in the [[Sub-Episodes]].
*'''Prolonged speeches''': This is a staple in ''Excel Saga'', but it's worth noting here because this is the first time Il Palazzo really gets to preach on about what's wrong with the world. Similarly, most of Excel's dialogue in the anime comes in the form of rapid-fire babbling, which she does a lot of here, since she's in mortal danger for most of the episode. Chris may have interpreted this to mean that long-winded speeches are funny in general, regardless of topic or context. Thus ''Excel Saga'' may have inspired all those walls of text Chris writes into his stories, especially the ones where he lectures the villains for daring to oppose him. It should be noted, however, that while Excel and Il Palazzo are no less chatty in the ''Excel Saga'' manga, the author is much more conservative about writing every single friggin' word they say, since the gag wouldn't work as well in print.
*'''Bumping into each other''': Throughout the episode Excel's side of the story is being told is shown in wide screen, while Hyatt's has been shown in a normal screen. Near the end of the episode Hyatt begins her mission to locate Excel. We then see Excel, which Menchi strapped to her chest, skipping happily down the street; overzealous with the joy of escaping. We then see Hyatt, walking down the street rather slowly, contemplating on where she should begin her mission. It switches between Excel and Hyatt a few more times; until the two happen to meet with Excel's side of the screen still in wide screen, and Hyatt's in full. [[Rosechu]] and [[Amy Rose]] would copy this in the epilogue of [[Sonichu 6]], resulting in something that just doesn't make sense. Also, if we consider that Rosechu was in wide screen mode, that means that she answers only to the all mighty ScotPalazzo.

===Episode 4===
Romantic comedy parody. The girls' next door neighbor, Toru Watanabe (not to be confused with Nabeshin) asks Hyatt out on a date, but the matter is soon complicated to the point of absurdity by the antics of their respective roommates.

*'''[[Dating education|Dating game]] simulators''': This episode uses the concept brilliantly, depicting a real-life date between Hyatt and Watanabe, parallel to Lord Il Palazzo, who plays a [[video game]] featuring Hyatt as the girl he's trying to win. The idea of the game is to respond to romantic situations with one of three options. Throughout this episode, option 3 is often simply [[Sex|"Put it in"]]. As these dating simulator games never caught on in the United States, it's highly likely that this episode was what gave Chris the big idea to use ''[[Sprung]]'' to further his "[[Dating Education]]". This is further evidence that nearly all of the jokes in ''Excel Saga'' are way over Chris's head. The whole point of this episode is that these games are childish and unrealistic, and Chris simply assumes the writers are trying to give him tips on how to score.
[[Image: Pedro3.jpg|thumb|200px|Pedro, upon viewing the [[Kimmi|Chris-Chan Sex Tape]]]]
*'''Doll humping''': Excel rolls around on the floor with a life-size wooden figure dressed up to resemble Il Palazzo. Again, this is an example of Chris's warped behavior which might be attributed to him watching this show and thinking it's somehow acceptable in real life.
*'''Simple white background characters''': These nondescript bystanders appear during Hyatt's date with Watanabe, a parody of ''[[Wikipedia:Di Gi Charat|Di Gi Charat]]''. Naturally, Chris took their use as implicit permission to slack off in his own drawings of large crowds. You can spot this in almost any issue of ''Sonichu''.
*'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''': Before there was Darth Vader, there was Pedro. After dying in the first episode, Pedro's ghost endures a series of emotional trials throughout the series, as his wife immediately forgets about him and finds a new man (something Chris himself would later do when after a day he forgot about [[PandaHalo]] and moved on to [[Julie]]). Forced to watch the charming Gomez take over his family, Pedro can only watch in tears and scream his beloved catchphrase, which Chris would later repeat in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]].

===Episode 5===
Drama about social issues. Excel and Hyatt infiltrate a government building to undermine the highest ranking city officials. Concurrently, Watanabe and his roommates, Iwata and Sumiyoshi, get jobs as civil servants working for the Department of City Security, a pet project run by the mysterious and influential Dr. Kabapu.
*'''[[Red String of Fate]]:''' When Watanabe whines about having to work alongside his odious roommates, Iwata suggests they're bound by the red string of fate. Watanabe angrily retorts that the Red String is only supposed to be for destined lovers, not just any two people. Watanabe then meets Hyatt, posing as a refreshments vendor, and decides that the Red String of Fate binds the two of them. This could be where Chris first learned of the concept, since it's not like he would have found out about it from ''Dragon Ball Z'' or ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''.
*'''Dr. Kabapu:''' Dr. Kabapu is the leader of the city's defense team. However, he seems to hold a great amount of power in politics; so much that he could potentially make anyone mayor if he needed to. His desire to protect the city is strong; although a bit warped. If there is a threat to the city, he will find and destroy it. This warped way of thinking may have influenced the way that [[Chris-Chan|the Mayor]] runs the city of [[CWCville]].
*'''Drool Waterfalls:''' Tears streaming like waterfalls is an often-used effect in ''Excel Saga'', particularly seen on the long-suffering Pedro. However, in this episode, many of the government workers are sickened after consuming Hyatt's refreshments, and begin roaming the building in zombie-like fashion, green drool pouring from their mouths. A very similar visual appeared in ''Sonichu'' #4, when [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] managed to paralyze the [[Jerkops]] in lust at a bowling alley.

===Episode 6===
Survival drama. Excel and Hyatt are sent to install a powerful weapon on a mountaintop and use it to destroy the city. Coincidentally, Kabapu's Department of City Security agents undergo training with laser pistols, and Iwata unwittingly foils ACROSS' plot when his weapon misfires.

*'''Misaki Matsuya's Character Notes''': The introduction of Matsuya was treated as a big deal in the anime, with a pause to display text on the screen describing the character's age, gender, hobbies, and personality traits. Chris would emulate this several times when introducing new characters, including [[Wes Iseli]], [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Allison Amber]], [[Simonla Rosechu]], and [[Zapina Rosechu]].

*'''Ha-chan, Eh-Chan, Will-Chan, etc.''': The suffix "-chan" is ubiquitous in anime, but most English dubs don't carry it over into the translation. Even if Chris had heard it before watching ''Excel Saga'', the sheer abundance of "-chan" combined with the first syllable of a character's name in the series is probably what led Chris to dub himself "Chris-Chan". This would also explain Chris's failure to realize the context of -chan. While the honorific is used for children, girls, and young women, ''Excel Saga'' uses it so gratuitously that a viewer might never notice the pattern, especially in this episode. Nevertheless, the suffix "-chan" could be seen as working for Chris in a unique way, since it effectively puns off his last name: "Chandler". The suffix is further validated by the fact that in many ways, Chris really is a child.

===Episode 7===
[[Image: Kabapu.jpg|thumb|200px|Fun Fact: Chris faps to this anime.]]

Horror film. Kabapu sends the DCS team into the sewers, not far from the underground lair of ACROSS. Excel and Hyatt activate defense systems at random, causing a flood. Both groups run afoul of the Puuchus, led by the hideous Puuchu Queen, until Nabeshin triggers a second flood which saves the cast and destroys the monsters.

*'''Ms. Momochi''': Kabapu's secretary, who walks in on Kabapu while he's in between changing clothes in his office. While bearing no physical resemblance, the character may well have been the inspiration for Miss [[Allison Amber]], Chris's mayoral aide and girl Friday.

===Episode 8===
Pretty girl anime. In a shameless bid to increase ratings, all male characters are stricken from the storyboards, appearing only as off-screen voices, shadows, or hands. The DCS team take a vacation day to visit the City Pool, while Excel and Hyatt coincidentally do the same. Hyatt befriends a young girl named Cosette Sara, who turns out to be a cunning assassin. In a strange twist of fate, Cosette is transported to the world of the dead, where she sees her mother's ghost once more, but Pedro warns that she cannot cross the Sanzu River to join her, for it would mean she would die as well. Taking pity on Cosette, the Great Will of the Macrocosm retcons Cosette's life so that her mother never died and her dark life as a child assassin never happened. The other male characters later confront Pedro for violating the "no-men" rule of the episode.

Influences on Chris: Nothing really obvious. This episode was primarily a tongue-in-cheek exercise in gratuitous fanservice, so Chris may have been too busy fapping away to notice anything else. He ''may'' have gotten the idea to do the Spring Break story in ''Sonichu'' #8 from this episode, but other than the all-Rosechu cover, it seems like a rather thin connection.

===Episode 9===
Sports anime. Considering athletics to be the universal language of the masses, Il Palazzo sends Hyatt and Excel to research ways to exploit sports for the purpose of world domination. This leads the duo to part-time jobs in a bowling alley, which is soon overrun by the [[9/11|terrorist]]/bowling organization "Stick and Balls", who plot to use the alley to spread their pro-bowling propaganda and return the "sport of kings" to its former glory. Excel flees to the women's restroom, where Nabeshin agrees to train her in the art of bowling to defeat the Stick and Balls' ringleader. Excel kicks everyone's ass and saves the day.

*'''"I'm much, much saltier":''' When Excel confronts the terrorists, they mock her for having run away earlier. Excel's response: "But I'm ''not'' the sweet little girl I was a few minutes ago! I'm much, much saltier now!" Compare to Chris's line from Sub-Episode 6 of ''Sonichu'' #4, as he describes his showdown with the Jerkops at a bowling alley: "Ah, but I am not the weak person they think I am; I am much, much saltier!" Chris has also used this phrase in private e-mails, to describe himself in the present compared to the naivete of his youth. Note that by omitting the word "sweet", he completely loses the pun.

*'''Bowling:''' The course of the battle in Sub-Episode 6 really doesn't match up well with Excel's bowling adventure, aside from the single hero challenging an entire squad of goons in a bowling alley and defeating them with superhuman bowling moves. It's possible Chris may be channeling some other cartoon in addition, but given the "much, much saltier" line, it's clear that ''Excel Saga'' gave Chris the bright idea to do a comic set in a bowling alley.

===Episode 10===
Animal anime. Menchi, Excel's pet dog/emergency food supply, escapes their apartment and tries to seek out a kindly old man who once took care of her. She soon befriends a pack of fellow strays, led by the charismatic Wolf. Wolf's pack agree to help Menchi find the old man, but soon run afoul of the Animal Control Department, a squad of dogs who serve as dog catchers. After great heartache and betrayal, Wolf and the others sacrifice themselves so that Menchi can escape. Perhaps favoring Excel's long-term threats to the immediate dangers of the outside world, she returns to Excel's apartment.

*'''Anthropomorphic dogs:''' While Menchi can't talk, and in fact seems to look and sound more like a cat than a dog, the other dogs in this episode can speak, and on occasion assume humanoid postures. It appears that Chris ripped off this imagery when he reincarnated his own dog, Patti, as [[Patti-Chan]]. Patti doesn't quite resemble any of the dogs in this episode (her design actually having been stolen from a picture by Megan), although her face does look sort of like a cross between Menchi's and Kyoko's. Her body seems to more closely resemble Wolf's when he's standing upright, and it may be that Chris had to combine their designs in order to approximate Patti's breed.

*'''A kind old man:''' Toward both the start and the ending of the episode Menchi has memories of the kind old man that took care of her before she met Excel. Once her memories are near completed, circles with memories of the old man fall slowly down the screen. Chris would copy this for the cover of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].

*'''Menchi's silent adventures:''' Until Menchi meets the other dogs, her speechless journey through the city bears a strong resemblance to the Sonichu Babies segments from [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. In particular, a band of cruel children start throwing rocks and boulders at Menchi, not unlike a certain Whale we all know and love.

*'''"I shall show you the power of the well-read dog!"''': Defiant last words of "The Professor", a Scottish terrier in Wolf's pack, as he sacrifices himself on Menchi's behalf. Chris alters the line into "Behold the power of the well-trusted dog!" when Patti-Chan appears in [[CWCville]] to save [[Crystal]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

At this point, the folly of Chris's plagiarism should be clear. He steals ideas and clever lines, but dismisses the concepts that made them worthwhile in the first place. Patti-Chan's storyline in ''Sonichu'' is basically this episode in reverse, with a dead dog coming back to life and saving her friends, whereas the whole appeal to "Menchi's Great Adventure" is the absurd pathos of a Scottish Terrier with glasses and cartoon bombs being a suicide bomber.

===Episode 11===
Youth drama. Excel and Hyatt take temp jobs as teachers, and quickly get saddled with the responsibility of training the school's delinquent baseball team for the big championship game. They lose, as is a common trope in sports anime, to reinforce the greater importance of sportsmanship and teamwork.

Influence on Chris: None, apparently. Chalk this up to his apparent disinterest in sports, and the male-heavy cast of this particular episode.

===Episode 12===
Detective anime. Hyatt gets taken hostage by a pair of burglars, who panic and ultimately kill themselves when she dies and they fear they've murdered her. Meanwhile, the Department of City Security agents train under Purin, an impertinent young woman possessed by the ghost of her hardboiled gumshoe father.

Influence on Chris: None, again.

===Episode 13===
Review show. Excel and Hyatt compete in a game show-style contest assembling short films using recycled clips from the previous episodes.

Influence on Chris: None. Good going, Chris.

===Episodes 14 & 15===
[[Image:Mom_am_pig.JPG|thumb|Excel responds to Chris after reading the Sonichu comics.]]

Dr. Kabapu commissions the pederast cyberneticist Dr. Shioji to build Ropponmatsu, a female android to serve under the Department of City Security. Iwata immediately falls for the shapely robot, until she is destroyed while disarming an ACROSS bomb, and rebuilt as an obnoxious prepubescent girl.

Escalating the conflict, ACROSS deploys a robot to deliver a second bomb, which battles the second Ropponmatsu to a standstill. Shioji delivers a reconstructed Model One Ropponmatsu to assist, but ultimately both are destroyed by the bomb... only to be rebuilt again.

Influences on Chris: Ropponmatsu II may have inspired Zapina Rosechu in some way, but that would require corroboration.

===Episode 16===
Desperate for story ideas, the writers use both Ropponmatsus in the same story. By mistake, the rebuilt androids end up living with Excel and Hyatt, and imprint upon them to an almost romantic degree. After stealing food and money to support the ACROSS Agents, the Ropponmatsus eventually sacrifice themselves so that Hyatt and Excel can escape the wrath of the city police.

*'''Ropponmatsu II's "death" scene''': This is played out as an over-the-top parody of sentimental self-sacrifice scenes in anime, and as Ropponmatsu II begins to break apart, a drop of fluid leaks from her eye socket like a tear, and is depicted as splashing into a darkened pool of water. This would be repeated in Episode 23 when Excel gets shot. Chris would imitate this in ''Sonichu'' #4, using blood instead of tears, and Chris's impotent rage instead of the sadness of loss.

===Episode 17===
"American Japanimation." Il Palazzo sends Excel and Hyatt to the United States on a reconnaissance mission. There, they meet Pedro's son Sandora, who dreams of becoming a rich and famous animator in Japan, where he believes cartoonists are highly respected. Sandora makes a living selling animation sheets of later successor ''Puni Puni Poemy'' to a suspicious-looking man, and is later horrified to discover that his artwork is being traded as bootleg anime cels. Excel rescues Sandora from the criminals by employing various "rules" of both American and Japanese animation.

This was Chris's favorite episode.

*'''Sailor Moon:''' Long before Chris met Megan and got into the ''Sailor Moon'' series itself, Chris had used ''Sailor Moon'' trademark poses and variants on her catchphrase for his alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. The Excel connection here is that Excel does the same routine in this episode, and a gunsel recognizes the reference, and notes that it's a really old cartoon. Compare to Chris's battle with Mary Lee Walsh in "Witch Confront", where Mary mocks Chris's poses and slogan as being "so old".

===Episode 18===
Kabapu forces his DCS team to wear the power suits of Municipal Force Daitenzin, and use them to battle injustice in the city. Furious at being trapped in the ''sentai'' costumes, the team agrees to just combat litterbugs, jaywalkers, and other minor scofflaws until the suits finally deactivate. Ironically, the awesome powers of the Daitenzin, coupled with their self-absorbed motives, cause far more damage to the city than any mere crime wave.

*'''[[Bagget]], Jerkop Daitenzen (sic)''': Perhaps wanting a more powerful role for Bagget than a mere Jerkop, Chris put him in a brown Power Ranger suit and history was made in ''Sonichu'' #4. Strangely, Bagget never makes use of any of the Daitenzin's special attacks or weapons.

*'''The boy and girl on the bench who look like a character from ''Battle Athletes'' and Ash Ketchum''': In ''Excel'', these two characters are attacked by one of the Daitenzin for public displays of affection, when in fact the girl was refusing the boy's advances. Chris used the girl in a similar scene in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], only they were a more romantic couple, and it was the Jerkops who intervened.

*'''Man and woman in coffee shop assaulted by Daitenzin''': In the original version, the couple were discussing when the man would leave his wife, as the woman was pregnant with their child. Chris sanitizes the moment into a "love confession" interrupted by a Jerkop, who punches out the man just as Sumiyoshi does in ''Excel''.

===Episode 19===
Animal anime again. Menchi ends up joining a young heiress on a journey around the world, but their trip is cut short by a common enemy.

Influences on Chris: Chris said this was the episode with Key, but he's wrong. Way to suck, Chris.

*'''Old Man Cyborg''': The punchline of this episode ends up being that the assassin determined to kill the heiress turns out to be the kindly old man who once took care of Menchi, before he turned evil and Menchi shot him in Episode 10. He returns here with a powerful robot body, eager to take revenge. While he doesn't look much like any of Chris's characters, the connection to [[Merried Seinor Comic]] is apparent, and this character may have inspired the other Manajerks Chris depicted as cyborgs.

===Episode 20===
Review show again. This episode recaps the Pedro subplot that's been going on since the show began. In short, Pedro learns that the author of all his miseries is a cosmic Yakuza-type known only as "That Man". Pedro is helpless against his awesome power, until Nabeshin unleashes the secret powers within both Pedro and his son Sandora. Now sporting afros of their own, Pedro and Sandora join Nabeshin to confront That Man, until he escapes with the Will of the Macrocosm.

*'''Sub-Episodes:''' While the segments of the Pedro recap aren't titled this way, they are numbered independently of the episodes of the main series. This "saga within a saga" format probably inspired Chris to depict his own adventures as separate from Sonichu's. Also, combining Pedro's adventures into a single all-Pedro episode is probably how Chris decided to rehash his existing Sub-Episodes in ''Sonichu'' #4, with additional Sub-Episodes to provide some closure to the storyline.

*'''Pedro in Limbo:''' The common theme of Pedro's adventures is that he has been mostly powerless against the forces that affect his life. As a ghost, he could only look on in horror as his family abandoned him, and strange cosmic forces manipulated him for sex and lulz. Similarly, Chris has been describing a similar experience for himself in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics since he got marooned in the time void.

===Episode 21===
Rock anime. Il Palazzo's superiors send him a message via Key, an oversexed rock musician who insists on delivering the message through song, yet refuses to sing until he feels the proper artistic inspiration. To that end, Excel and Hyatt attempt to cultivate Key's creativity, but Excel finds herself becoming attracted to Key's untamed sexuality.

*'''Key''': Chris admitted that he adapted Key's revealing outfit to design the costume of his evil gay twin [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]. The only significant differences are the change from red leather straps to green, and torn blue jeans in place of Key's ass-less chaps. Also, while Key merely displayed an ambiguous sexuality in keeping with his role as a bishonen rock hero, Naitsirhc is a hardcore gay guy, living out Chris's fantasy life of ejaculating whenever and wherever he pleases.

===Episode 22===
[[Image:Cwcexcel.jpg|thumb|By Dean Walsh's order! For the glory of Dean Walsh! BECAUSE DEAN WALSH DEMANDS!]]

Koshi Rikdo grants permission for ACROSS to actually conquer the city. The matter becomes academic, however, when a Puuchu warlord leads an invasion force to Earth to avenge their past defeats. Excel joins forces with Puuchu rebels to defeat the invaders, but the city is destroyed when debris from the battle collides with the Earth.

*'''Nabeshin as martial arts master:''' As the series approached the end, Nabeshin teamed up with Pedro and Sandora to battle That Man, and the three of them would go to a special training ground to hone their powers for the final battle. Based on this, Chris recast Nabeshin in ''Sonichu'' as G.D.W. Shinabe, a martial arts ''sensei'' who teaches his students how to edit film with karate chops. Shinabe would adopt [[Punchy Sonichu]] into his dojo.

===Episode 23===
Post-apocalyptic anime. Cut off from ACROSS, Excel wanders the ruins of what was once F Prefecture, defending the survivors from gangs and warlords. Horrified to learn that the villains are working for ACROSS, and that she has been targeted for execution, Excel confronts Il Palazzo to learn the truth. He shoots her in the chest without a word.

*'''Time-delay attack:''' Mostly, this episode parodies ''Fist of the North Star'', which features a powerful fighter kicking ass in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Since Excel is in the role of the hero, she uses a variation of the anime's titular attack, which involves punching your opponent a billion times. The thing about the ''Fist of the North Star'' is that it takes three seconds to have any effect, after which the opponent explodes like a water balloon filled with blood, then becomes a pastiche of Dejiko from ''Digi Charat''. When dubious villains question the attack's power, the hero would famously reply "But you're already dead", right before they die. Chris adapted this idea when he first used the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in ''Sonichu'' #0. The Jerkhief didn't feel a thing at first, and then his life began to unravel from the curse.

===Episode 24===
Koshi Rikdo strips the series of all gags. Excel is rescued by Municipal Force Daitenzin, but after recovering from the gunshot, she has amnesia. ACROSS has conquered the region, but Il Palazzo begins to teeter on the brink of madness. The only hope left for resistance is Kabapu's promise of a secret weapon, and Nabeshin, who sacrifices himself to defeat That Man, one of the Il Palazzo's superiors in ACROSS.

Influences on Chris: Make your own "joke-free comedy" joke here. Seriously, though, Chris probably never stole anything from this episode because he couldn't wrap his brain around the irony.

===Episode 25===
As Kapabu and Municipal Force Daitenzin stage a desperate attack on ACROSS's mobile fortress, Excel sneaks into the base to confront Il Palazzo, whom she vaguely recalls as the key to regaining her memories. Il Palazzo makes short work of Kabapu's forces, but when Excel arrives and confronts his madness, he regains his sanity and they escape the fortress together as it explodes. Meanwhile, Pedro and Sandora discover That Man has survived, and defeat him for good with their ultimate attack, the ''Nabehameha'' Wave.
*'''"One Shot is all we get!"''' This line is said in unison by both Pedro and That Man before they engage in their ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]'' style beam struggle. Chris blatantly stole it for his epic showdown with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], depicted in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].
*'''Nabehameha''': Obviously, a parody of the Kamehameha attack from ''Dragon Ball'', renamed for Nabeshin, who invented it and taught it to Pedro off-screen. While Chris had watched ''Dragon Ball Z'', it was undoubtedly the Nabehameha that gave him the bright idea to customize his own version of the Kamehameha and pretend it was original. Thus, the "Curseyehameha", which he later changed to "Shinyehameha". As Chris has diluted every other idea he stole from ''Excel Saga'', he does so again here, since he failed to utilize the part of the Nabehameha that was so awesome: the afro.
*'''Those things always have weak knees!''': Kabapu uses a giant robot to attack ACROSS mobile fortress. When the defending troops counterattack, this is the strategy they offer. The way the idea is discussed, weak knees in giant robots may be some cliche in giant robot anime lore, but in any case, Chris stole the line for his battle against the [[Count Graduon]]'s Golem in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].
*'''"[[Honest content|Honest-to-Goodness]]":''' Near the end of the episode, Excel fights Il Palazzo's inner demons that are the reason behind his sudden outburst of megalomaniac actions. After punching them out, they fall back and take full control of him, and when they do so, Il Palazzo says ''"Now, I'm the honest-to-goodness Il Palazzo!".'' Judging by the climactic delivery of this line, it is very likely it got burned into Chris's subconscious, to end up being used every time he claims to be TRUE and HONEST; an example is his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia page]], which starts with "The One, The Only, from his Own ''Honest-to-God'' Words".

===Episode 26===
Sort of a bonus episode full of material [[Honest Content|too graphic for Japanese TV]]. Cosette Sara from Episode 8 returns as the newest member of ACROSS, who somehow causes Excel and Hyatt to switch bodies. After a lot of nudity and violence, Nabeshin kills the rest of the ACROSS Six and Hyatt floods the world in blood.

Influences on Chris: Chris was probably too busy fapping to anime noods to copy anything. The final scene is Nabeshin's wedding to some broad who kept trying to serve him soup throughout the series, and Chris probably plans to end ''Sonichu'' with [[Wedding Comic|his own wedding]], but Real Life has made this impossible.

===''Puni Puni Poemy''===
'''''[[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]''''' is something of an ''Excel Saga'' spinoff, starring Nabeshin's daughter Poemi Watanabe as she struggles to become a voice actress while fighting aliens with the assistance of the seven Aasu Sisters. The show's relation to ''Excel Saga'' is tenuous, with only Nabeshin and Kumi Kumi present (though a news anchor bears a resemblance to Koshi Rikdo), and some reused background music from the series.

[[Image: GDW.jpg|thumb|200px|Unlike Chris, this man is a TRUE and HONEST great director.]]

Influences on Chris: Chris has more than once referred to himself as "Great Director Chandler", shamelessly ripping off Nabeshin's declaration that he is the "Great Director Watanabe."
}}

{{collapsible
|Gallery of plagiarism
|
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Beforebreakfast.jpg|Compare this...
Image:Sonichustrip1.jpg|to ''this''
Image:Fqx.jpg|Chris would steal this logo, only without the searchlights, or the font, or anything else, really.
Image:graveyard.jpg|This is probably the only reason Chris considers the mall an ideal dating locale, instead of sitting in a cemetery all day.
Image:Coffeeshop.jpg|Actually, the coffee shop was [[Hanna]]'s idea, although Chris probably would have suggested it himself, based on this.
Image:Putitin4.jpg|Chris always picks option 3
Image:Stalkher.jpg|Option 1 is [[Megan|fine too]].
Image:Putitin2.jpg|Chris's SOP for how to interact with women.
Image:Red-string.jpg|"I have a NEW idea that I am sure will [[Fail|REEL]] in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL [[Red String of Fate|RED STRING]]."
Image:Nabeshin1.jpg|Character Chris identifies with.
Image:Sumiyoshi.jpg|Character Chris should identify with.
Image:Excel-julay.jpg|JULAAAAYYYY!
Image:Pedro1.jpg|Compare this...
Image:RainbowChris.jpg|to ''this''
Image:scotpalazzo1.jpg|Better One?
Image:ilpalazzo.jpg|Or better Two?
Image:drool1.jpg|Typical reaction to reading ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''
Image: drool2.jpg|The Jerkop version
Image: Chris3days.jpg|Only three days...
Image: only3days.jpg|... since I skipped my last deadline.
Image: Title.JPG|The title is ''Excel Saga''!
Image: Title2.JPG|...or maybe it's ''Sonichu''... I can't remember.
Image: Hail.jpg|When you see it...
Image: Hailwrodents.jpg|...you'll have numerous pairs of [[Dirty_crapped_briefs|dirty, crapped briefs]]
Image: Bystanders.jpg|Even lazy shortcuts like this aren't original.
Image: Bystanders2.jpg|See?
Image: Pedro2.jpg|Pedro in Limbo
Image: Timevoid.jpg|Chris in the [[Time Void]]
Image: Bowling1.jpg|I'm not the same person I was just a moment ago...
Image: Saltier.jpg|I'm much, much saltier!
Image: Bowling.jpg|Chris defeats the bad guys with bowling power.
Image: Bowling2.jpg|And the original version.
Image: Rikdo-shit.jpg|Stereotypical depiction of a manga artist's room.
Image: More-rikdo-shit.jpg|Possible inspiration for Chris's interior decoration.
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg|Compare to Chris's room.
Image:0821-EP12-5P6-5.jpg|The eerie similarities.
Image: Simonla-notes.jpg|Chris's useless character notes.
Image: Matsuya-notes.jpg|And their possible inspiration.
Image: BloodTear.jpg|The Passion of...
Image: Exceltear.jpg|...the Chris?
Image:SoneePuchuu.jpg|They're so cute!
File:Shock.PNG|SHOCK
</gallery>
</center>
}}
==Sources==
<references/>
==See also==
*[[Parody]]
*[[Anime]]
*[[Saga]]
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Excel Saga|''Excel Saga'']] on [[Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]