Chris's birthday

2012-02-25T04:14:57Z

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{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|[[Homo|Chris blows.]]]]

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!"|Chris, on being nearly 30.}}

'''[[Chris]]'s birthday''', 24 February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizarre inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new [[vidya]], to [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|wanting his birthday to be a national holiday]]) warrants some inspection.

==Notable birthdays==

[[Image:0481-CWC18th12.jpg|thumb|Chris's best birthday EVER!]]

===17th===
Chris receives a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF1n1AxK1Dg Pro200] handheld game console, and is photographed looking visibly disappointed while holding it. He also draws "[[Bionic]] Over Autism.", which would later be included in Sonichu 6, and creates Espanolic, which would later be seen on his [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD cover project]] for school.

===18th===
While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, Chris got a Sega Dreamcast. While he did have something of a party, it was very much the kind thrown for small children — composed of thrown-together decor, last-minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]] as guests. No strip clubs, no [[tobacky]], just ''Kenan & Kel'' and cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever. The great importance of this event apparently warranted recording as a story, "[[My big 18th party]]".

===[[Alcohol|21st]]===
[[Image:0603-CWC21Note.jpg|thumb|And now the worst...]]
If the above birthday was Chris's best, then this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[PVCC|college]] [[English]] class by his professor. All wasn't lost, however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]] — Chris's enduring search for someone that will [[Barbara_Chandler|put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity]].

===23rd===
Chris documented this birthday in an issue of [[News_Dash#Chris.27s_23rd_Birthday|''Sonichu's News Dash'']]. It took place at the mall and was attended by his parents, as well as "a couple of his new-found gal-pals, who all already have Boyfriends, or are otherwise undatable, due to her religion." He was treated like a child and loved every second of it.

===25th===
[[Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|thumb|Chris's 25th birthday and [[DVD]] launch party.]]
To celebrate this milestone, Chris recorded an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|IMPORTANT MESSAGE]], inspiring girls, boys, and dudes of all teenages with the many lessons he has learned from his quarter-century of experience.

===27th===
Chris's 27th birthday coincided with the burial of his late [[Aunt Corrina]]. Undoubtedly, this cast a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to [[Obesity|stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes]] instead of [[Chris_and_death|mourning]] the loss of his aunt. He would later go on to complain in a [[Mumble 9|Mumble chat]] about how Aunt Corrina ruined his special day by selfishly dying. He also received some birthday money, which he used to fund his [[Ohio trip|road trip to Ohio]].

===28th===
Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|called in and congratulated him]], being the all-around nice guy that he is. Chris [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#Hey.2C_Vivian_.E2.80.94_11_February|had been saving $100]] to pay for a prostitute as a birthday present for himself, but he ultimately abandoned that idea after [[The Wallflower]] became his friend and he assumed he would be allowed to have sex with her for free.

===29th===
The events were unknown due to his hiatus from [[the Internet]], but somewhere around this time is when Chris began to [[Tomgirl pictures|embrace his feminine side]].

* '''''Sonichu'' Canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] is distributed into the world's water supply on this day.

===30th===

[[Image:30_year_old_virgin.png|thumb|A must-see!]]
Chris will enter his fourth decade in [[2012]]. The [[28 October 2011]] crimes will still cast a shadow.

==Birthday Gallery: Witness the Evolution==
<center><gallery>
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|Age 5: Cute kid, right?
Image:0092-Christians14th.jpg|Age 14
Image:0406-ChristianIs17-4.jpg|Age 17
Image:0491-CWC18th23.jpg|Age 18
Image:0583-CWC19-2.jpg|Age 19
Image:0599-CWC20-4.jpg|Age 20
Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|Age 21
Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|Age 22
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|Age 23
Image:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg|Age 24
Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|Age 25
Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|Age 26: Cute kid, right?
File:Chris27a.PNG|Age 27<ref>[[Ode to Julie]]</ref>
File:Chris27.PNG|Age 28<ref>[[Christian Love Day (video)]]</ref>
File:TG9.jpg|Age 29
File:1328397527051.jpg|Age 30
</gallery></center>

=="Christian Love Day"==
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|The Christian Love Day Declaration (which is totally TRUE and HONEST, and not a [[things Chris has ripped off|rip-off]] at all).]]
Many people see their birthday as a day of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be [[Ego|focused on him too]]. First seen in the [[CWC Blog]], "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentine's Day, but celebrated exclusively by [[Homo|STRAIGHT]] folk. In the [[Mailbag]], he clarified he "feels like" it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because [[Reality|he wills it]] and it's also Mexican Flag Day. However, Chris provides no details on how to celebrate, nor does he put any effort into garnering publicity beyond [[Christian Love Day|one lone video]].

In [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], the holiday gains slightly more credence, along with some disturbing moral stipulations. It is on this day that the homo vaccine "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, that and [[ego]]). Chris either thinks his comic is so widely known that the date of its denouement would be nationally recognized, or he [[Reality|has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality]].

==References==
<references/>
{{Year}}
[[Category:Events]]

File:30 year old virgin.png

2012-02-25T04:09:35Z

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Chris's birthday

File:30 year old virgin.png