CWCki - User contributions [en]

Axe

2011-02-21T18:56:09Z

AutisticTroll:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:AXE body spray.jpg|thumb|left|A can of AXE yesterday.]]
[[Image:AxeAd.jpg|thumb|Chris's self made ad from [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]. Proof that free advertising isn't always the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Lynx recover deodorant body spray.jpg|thumb|left|In Britfag Land, Axe is called Lynx.]]
[[Image:BILLYAXE.JPG|thumb|[[BILLY MAYS]] (RIP) really could sell ANYTHING.]]
[[Image:Chrisandaxe.jpg|thumb|Chris promotes his gay products]]
[[Image:Axe en español.jpg|thumb|Translated into [[Spanish]] for the convenience of [[homos|maricas]] everywhere.]]
[[Image:HeadTripAxe.jpg|thumb|right|How Chris believes Axe should work and how it actually works, Head Trip style.]]
{{quote|"For the longest time, AXE has been advertised and meant for STRAIGHT men to attract WOMEN. It was certainly NOT meant to
attract...other dudes."|Chris, "Proud Straight Male AXE User"}}
{{quote|ALL AXE Body Hygene Products were advertised for Straight Men, therefore it was ALWAYS INTENDED for the Straight Man.|Chris, master of logic<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}

'''Axe''' (also known as "'''Lynx'''" to many Britfags, pronounced "[[Speech Impediment|Ats]]" by Chris) is a body spray/deodorant that [[Chris]] douses himself in, as he fully believes that it will attract scores of beautiful women to him, as frequently advertised by Axe. The fact that the promised "Axe Effect" has failed to deliver him a TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]] after years of use has not dented his firm belief that the product, along with its various offshoot lines such as body wash, scrubber, and shampoo, will one day force women to over-ride their common sense and make passionate love to him eleven at a time with the help of a mass produced fragrance.

His comics also seem to suggest that he's under the impression that using the body spray is a suitable substitute for bathing.

==Axe betrays Chris==

Axe has betrayed Chris by giving away 300 Microsoft Points with their products at Target as a promotion for [[Xbox]]{{cite}}.

==Axe and the [[Homos]]==

In the beginning of [[May 2009]], Chris was informed that Axe was very popular among men of a [[homos|certain demographic]]. The alarming news that, instead of attracting "[[Boyfriend-free girl|the ladies]]", wearing Axe may lead to being rogered roughly from behind in a dark alleyway lead Chris to record [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|two videos]] demanding that Unilever state clearly on the packaging that Axe is for "straight people only", and that the homos heed his call of "Stay Off Our AXE, you Homos!"

==Does it work?==

No. In reality, AXE does not really attract women towards the user. Therefore, girls will never be attracted to Chris (not that they would be anyway).

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Axe (grooming product)|Wikipedia article on Axe]]

[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Kick the Autistic

2010-11-28T14:18:09Z

AutisticTroll: /* Chris Style */

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Now for the [[Nintendo]] Wii!]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is the world's favorite game. This is the act of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. It is very probable he has done this in the past to get "[[sex|speshul treatment]]" from "Young Ladies."

==Variations==
There are many known variations of the game, and we will go through the most effective.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a competition of artistry where Chris also competes, and [[Honor roll|out-talent him]]. This is usually easily done by showing any competence at all. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and shoot at your photograph.]] Or beat you up in [[Soul Calibur]].

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]] and [[Chris and Sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you discuss on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Take the time to befriend Chris and pretend you are a [[Boyfriend Free Girl]] until Chris trusts you. Then get Chris to give you something of value to him, and destroy it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
Chris is very funny about the material which he has plagiarized. If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's plagiarized comics. He will throw a fit and "take legal action against you if not removed by 14 days." Oh wait, YOU CAN'T [[Parody|COPYRIGHT UNORIGINAL CHARACTERS]] DIPSHIT.

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Chris is of the completely clueless type, and will trust anyone <s>with a little bit of time</s> who claims to have a [[China|china]]. Pretend to befriend Chris, and when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something lulzy. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him drinking his own [[semen]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and wait for the lulz to come pouring in.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a pickle suit. He will be bewildered by it and powerless to act.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid.]] Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even rape women to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for [[Jimmy Hill|clouding]] [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement.]] As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity... or reincarnated as a pickle... whichever.

The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are the</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect. Bonus points for buying ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Ban him from [[The GAMe PLACe|an establishment]] for being the [[Chris and hypocrisy|entitled]], [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and his Ego|self-obsessed]], [[death threats|dangerous]] manchild that he is. Quite correctly [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|never let him back in]]. '''WARNING''': This will probably result in Chris [[6 June 2010|coming to the store]] to [[pedofork|take pictures of your daughter]] and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|attempting to murder]] you with [[Son-Chu|his mother's car]].

===Literally===
One day, Chris will say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time, and they will literally kick the shit out of him. On that day trolls will shed tears of joy, and once again feel as if there is some sort of justice in the world. That being said, no reasonable troll should ever use physical violence to harm Chris, as there's no need to expend any sort of effort on him and it's not worth giving Chris something he could actually call the police over. (Plus, that would mean [[Chris and health#Hygiene|touching him]].) It will be much sweeter when he gets his ass handed to him by a random angry [[Niggos|African American]] or someone with an [[homos|alternate life-style]]. Even greater will be the day when he gets a little too touchy with a [[boyfriend-free girl]] and gets a face full of mace.

Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: The teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (barely), [[Jerkops]] (probably exaggerated) and [[Niggos#Conflicts_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost).

However, Chris has never experienced any real physical pain in his entire life. His parents never raised a finger against him, there is no record of him being grounded, or punished in any significant way even after he was [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]. The only exception to this is when [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell down, got a boo-boo, ran home to [[Barbara Chandler|mommy]], and vowed to never again even try to roller-skate, or, apparently, to do anything active at all.

Ever since the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]], it is believed that Chris may become the subject of a game of Kick the Autistic, featuring a guest team from the [[Wikipedia:United_States_Marine_Corps|Semper Fi Brotherhood]].

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular CWC-ism include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN Blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."

==Conclusion==
Remember kids, Kick the Autistic is everyone's favorite game and can be replayed over and over with Chris. He just never learns.

==See also==
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Video game president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major Nintendo consoles in time for Christmas.
*[[Troll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic Click to play!!]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Kick the Autistic

2010-11-28T14:17:19Z

AutisticTroll:

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Now for the [[Nintendo]] Wii!]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is the world's favorite game. This is the act of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. It is very probable he has done this in the past to get "[[sex|speshul treatment]]" from "Young Ladies."

==Variations==
There are many known variations of the game, and we will go through the most effective.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a competition of artistry where Chris also competes, and [[Honor roll|out-talent him]]. This is usually easily done by showing any competence at all. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and shoot at your photograph.]] Or beat you up in [[Soul Calibur]].

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and Negotiation|Act like an entitled child]] and [[Chris and Sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you discuss on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Take the time to befriend Chris and pretend you are a [[Boyfriend Free Girl]] until Chris trusts you. Then get Chris to give you something of value to him, and destroy it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
Chris is very funny about the material which he has plagiarized. If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's plagiarized comics. He will throw a fit and "take legal action against you if not removed by 14 days." Oh wait, YOU CAN'T [[Parody|COPYRIGHT UNORIGINAL CHARACTERS]] DIPSHIT.

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Chris is of the completely clueless type, and will trust anyone <s>with a little bit of time</s> who claims to have a [[China|china]]. Pretend to befriend Chris, and when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something lulzy. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him drinking his own [[semen]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and wait for the lulz to come pouring in.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a pickle suit. He will be bewildered by it and powerless to act.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid.]] Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even rape women to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for [[Jimmy Hill|clouding]] [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement.]] As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity... or reincarnated as a pickle... whichever.

The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are the</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect. Bonus points for buying ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Ban him from [[The GAMe PLACe|an establishment]] for being the [[Chris and hypocrisy|entitled]], [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and his Ego|self-obsessed]], [[death threats|dangerous]] manchild that he is. Quite correctly [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|never let him back in]]. '''WARNING''': This will probably result in Chris [[6 June 2010|coming to the store]] to [[pedofork|take pictures of your daughter]] and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|attempting to murder]] you with [[Son-Chu|his mother's car]].

===Literally===
One day, Chris will say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time, and they will literally kick the shit out of him. On that day trolls will shed tears of joy, and once again feel as if there is some sort of justice in the world. That being said, no reasonable troll should ever use physical violence to harm Chris, as there's no need to expend any sort of effort on him and it's not worth giving Chris something he could actually call the police over. (Plus, that would mean [[Chris and health#Hygiene|touching him]].) It will be much sweeter when he gets his ass handed to him by a random angry [[Niggos|African American]] or someone with an [[homos|alternate life-style]]. Even greater will be the day when he gets a little too touchy with a [[boyfriend-free girl]] and gets a face full of mace.

Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: The teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (barely), [[Jerkops]] (probably exaggerated) and [[Niggos#Conflicts_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost).

However, Chris has never experienced any real physical pain in his entire life. His parents never raised a finger against him, there is no record of him being grounded, or punished in any significant way even after he was [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]. The only exception to this is when [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell down, got a boo-boo, ran home to [[Barbara Chandler|mommy]], and vowed to never again even try to roller-skate, or, apparently, to do anything active at all.

Ever since the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]], it is believed that Chris may become the subject of a game of Kick the Autistic, featuring a guest team from the [[Wikipedia:United_States_Marine_Corps|Semper Fi Brotherhood]].

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular CWC-ism include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN Blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."

==Conclusion==
Remember kids, Kick the Autistic is everyone's favorite game and can be replayed over and over with Chris. He just never learns.

==See also==
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Video game president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major Nintendo consoles in time for Christmas.
*[[Troll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic Click to play!!]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Template talk:Chris and

2010-11-21T23:47:59Z

AutisticTroll: /* Chris and Videogames */

We need "Chris and Reliability" --[[User:CJB8895|CJB8895]]
*I'm sure that, if we asked him, he'd agree to make it for us later. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 02:46, 9 December 2009 (CET)

== Guidelines ==

I've tried to add some guidelines about how to go about writing a "Chris and..." article. Whether people will find and read it before attempting to create ill-conceived new ones - is another matter. As always, feel free to correct my take on what the Chris and... series is for, as I was purely writing from what I understand of it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]]18:00, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
:These are excellent guidelines. That said your sig doesn't include your name so I have no idea who you are.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:02, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
::That happens if I type 5 ~'s instead of 4 :-/ --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:05, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
*Not bad, though I need to get around into making "Chris and..." articles a CWCki project in the same vein the CWChronology is one. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:43, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and politics ==

We need this article.

== Chris and Videogames ==

All these "Chris and..." subjects, and no one has done one about his interest in certain video games and how they've influenced his life and the comic. For shame...--[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 13:10, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

:There is an article on "Video Games" which discusses a lot of what you've mentioned.

== Chris and intelligence ==

We all know that Chris claims that he's a "genius" even though he's an idiot but I don't think there's a definate article for it yet. What I mean is that while there's examples such as "Chris and English", "Chris and Spanish", and the honor roll page, there isn't an article that's mainly about his intelligence from academic subjects to basic common sense. I mean there's near limitless examples to Chris's stupidity and social retardation such as his recent ban from flipnote hatena for uploading crap that was already removed [[RomanticLabyrinth|four times]], for inappropriate content on a family site, wearing a bra with "wants woman" in public in an attempt to find a girlfriend at a [[Fridays After Five|public event]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|removing something from his PS3]] just because some trolls claimed to have access to it even though any normal person would be worried about damaging the merchandise and voiding the warranty. If you guys think that this would make a good article then please let me know and I'll get right on it. [[User:Flyingdingo0827|Flyingdingo0827]] 14:53, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

:I've been working on something similar on my sandbox called "List of Chris's bad ideas", but I was specifically going for bad ideas that had little to no troll influence in order to prove he's not simply being manipulated into doing embarrassing things. That's probably the kind of thing we should go for, though I suppose we can also factor in his gullibility into intelligence. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:44, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

::I dunno guys, it sounds really, really subjective. You'd better have a full draft ready in one of your sandboxes so the powers that be can weigh in on it before you post.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:53, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Why put 'Chris and...'? Just call it Chris's Bad Ideas. That would be one hell of an article.
Hey guys, I just started the first part of the article, it's in my user page if you want to check it out. [[User:Flyingdingo0827|Flyingdingo0827]] 23:17, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and Sexism ==

I've already made a redirect to [[Women's Rights]], but I feel that this should go on the "Chris and..." section due to its blatant obviousness. I mean, we already have loads of material dedicated to this subject, so we might as well enshrine it in the template as an easy portal. Thoughts? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 18:31, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

== [[Camerawork|Chris and camerawork]] ==

I didn't make this, but I did find it. It's poor and orphaned, so won't we give it a home? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 05:29, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and the Military(?) ==

Do we have enough info to warrent the creation of such a page? As far as I can tell we have Chris's disregard for Kacey's Father who was a former US Marine in the Gulf War, Chris' comments on Homosexuals in the Military saying that he supports it so that "Homos can go die in explosions" and finally Chris saying that Sonichu and Rosechu would fight a Vietnam style draft in one of the Mailbags. Do we proceed? - BottleOfWin
:*Hmm. The problem is, that's pretty much all the information Chris has given on the matter. I mean, I can't really think of else we'd want to put into the article that's not just fluffing out the above. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 14:44, 1 August 2010 (UTC)
Forgot about the whole Division of the US Army being used to defend/oppress CWCville mentioned in the Cwcville article. Hipocrisy anyone? He tramples on his countries Army and expects it to defend his bannana republic - BottleOfWin
:*One, which mailbag was this? Two, that's really all there is to say on the subject. It might be worth a footnote or two in [[America]] and [[Chris and Hypocrisy]] though.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:31, 1 August 2010 (UTC)
:*He said that in Mailbag 49 about the "Homos dying in explosions". Can't remember which one had Sonichu and Rosechu resisting the draft but its definitely out there in one of them. -BottleOfWin

== Chris and fame ==

It seems like a "Chris and fame" article would be a good addition to this collection. It would focus on Chris' lifelong obsession with fame, belief that he is a celebrity, the fact that he's saved every scrap of media in which he's ever appeared (even if for only a few seconds), and how he feels that this justifies his existence. It would end with an examination of the fact that, ironically, Chris has in fact achieved the celebrity existence, in which he is surrounded by frauds, phonies, and stalkers, and subject to the scrutiny of the general population. Obviously this would pull some material from "Chris and His Ego," but I feel this subject is different enough to merit a separate article.--[[User:AutisticTroll|AutisticTroll]] 15:46, 21 November 2010 (PST)

Template talk:Chris and

2010-11-21T23:46:48Z

AutisticTroll: /* Chris and fame */ new section

We need "Chris and Reliability" --[[User:CJB8895|CJB8895]]
*I'm sure that, if we asked him, he'd agree to make it for us later. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 02:46, 9 December 2009 (CET)

== Guidelines ==

I've tried to add some guidelines about how to go about writing a "Chris and..." article. Whether people will find and read it before attempting to create ill-conceived new ones - is another matter. As always, feel free to correct my take on what the Chris and... series is for, as I was purely writing from what I understand of it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]]18:00, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
:These are excellent guidelines. That said your sig doesn't include your name so I have no idea who you are.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:02, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
::That happens if I type 5 ~'s instead of 4 :-/ --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:05, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
*Not bad, though I need to get around into making "Chris and..." articles a CWCki project in the same vein the CWChronology is one. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:43, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and politics ==

We need this article.

== Chris and Videogames ==

All these "Chris and..." subjects, and no one has done one about his interest in certain video games and how they've influenced his life and the comic. For shame...--[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 13:10, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and intelligence ==

We all know that Chris claims that he's a "genius" even though he's an idiot but I don't think there's a definate article for it yet. What I mean is that while there's examples such as "Chris and English", "Chris and Spanish", and the honor roll page, there isn't an article that's mainly about his intelligence from academic subjects to basic common sense. I mean there's near limitless examples to Chris's stupidity and social retardation such as his recent ban from flipnote hatena for uploading crap that was already removed [[RomanticLabyrinth|four times]], for inappropriate content on a family site, wearing a bra with "wants woman" in public in an attempt to find a girlfriend at a [[Fridays After Five|public event]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|removing something from his PS3]] just because some trolls claimed to have access to it even though any normal person would be worried about damaging the merchandise and voiding the warranty. If you guys think that this would make a good article then please let me know and I'll get right on it. [[User:Flyingdingo0827|Flyingdingo0827]] 14:53, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

:I've been working on something similar on my sandbox called "List of Chris's bad ideas", but I was specifically going for bad ideas that had little to no troll influence in order to prove he's not simply being manipulated into doing embarrassing things. That's probably the kind of thing we should go for, though I suppose we can also factor in his gullibility into intelligence. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:44, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

::I dunno guys, it sounds really, really subjective. You'd better have a full draft ready in one of your sandboxes so the powers that be can weigh in on it before you post.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:53, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Why put 'Chris and...'? Just call it Chris's Bad Ideas. That would be one hell of an article.
Hey guys, I just started the first part of the article, it's in my user page if you want to check it out. [[User:Flyingdingo0827|Flyingdingo0827]] 23:17, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and Sexism ==

I've already made a redirect to [[Women's Rights]], but I feel that this should go on the "Chris and..." section due to its blatant obviousness. I mean, we already have loads of material dedicated to this subject, so we might as well enshrine it in the template as an easy portal. Thoughts? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 18:31, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

== [[Camerawork|Chris and camerawork]] ==

I didn't make this, but I did find it. It's poor and orphaned, so won't we give it a home? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 05:29, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and the Military(?) ==

Do we have enough info to warrent the creation of such a page? As far as I can tell we have Chris's disregard for Kacey's Father who was a former US Marine in the Gulf War, Chris' comments on Homosexuals in the Military saying that he supports it so that "Homos can go die in explosions" and finally Chris saying that Sonichu and Rosechu would fight a Vietnam style draft in one of the Mailbags. Do we proceed? - BottleOfWin
:*Hmm. The problem is, that's pretty much all the information Chris has given on the matter. I mean, I can't really think of else we'd want to put into the article that's not just fluffing out the above. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 14:44, 1 August 2010 (UTC)
Forgot about the whole Division of the US Army being used to defend/oppress CWCville mentioned in the Cwcville article. Hipocrisy anyone? He tramples on his countries Army and expects it to defend his bannana republic - BottleOfWin
:*One, which mailbag was this? Two, that's really all there is to say on the subject. It might be worth a footnote or two in [[America]] and [[Chris and Hypocrisy]] though.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:31, 1 August 2010 (UTC)
:*He said that in Mailbag 49 about the "Homos dying in explosions". Can't remember which one had Sonichu and Rosechu resisting the draft but its definitely out there in one of them. -BottleOfWin

== Chris and fame ==

It seems like a "Chris and fame" article would be a good addition to this collection. It would focus on Chris' lifelong obsession with fame, belief that he is a celebrity, the fact that he's saved every scrap of media in which he's ever appeared (even if for only a few seconds), and how he feels that this justifies his existence. It would end with an examination of the fact that, ironically, Chris has in fact achieved the celebrity existence, in which he is surrounded by frauds, phonies, and stalkers, and subject to the scrutiny of the general population. Obviously this would pull some material from "Chris and His Ego," but I feel this subject is different enough to merit a separate article.--[[User:AutisticTroll|AutisticTroll]] 15:46, 21 November 2010 (PST)

HairDifference

2010-10-31T07:09:54Z

AutisticTroll:

'''HairDifference''' are two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. The first video shows Chris's [[Hair|hair]] which hasn't been washed in a "few days", and the second video shows the hair after it has been washed with some "good [[Axe]]... shampoo, conditioner and [[Anti Troll Movement Video1|anti-dandruff]]". To the surprise of no one, his hair, when washed, looks just as horrendous as it does unwashed.

==HairDifferenceBefore==

{{Infobox/video
| name = HairDifferenceBefore
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w3OvGwRo1kY}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other| Hygiene}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
| next = [[#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]
}}

===Transcript===

All right, it's uh... it's Thurs- it's Thursday thee... what is it, uh... oh, yeah, the 28, and I have been a few days without a shower, because the shower has been [[Chris and English|unaccessible]] to me, so my hair is currently in a sit- in a [[Speech Impediment|sitsuation]] where it was past quoted as "oily," and, uh, "stringy," so and I'm about to get ready to take a shower and uh.. and use some of the good Axe... shampoo/conditioner with anti-dandruff.

Yeah, so you'll see a difference in the layer after I uh... after I washed it and after it dries up.

==HairDifferenceAfter==

{{Infobox/video
| name = HairDifferenceAfter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5bLkmTN60DI}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other| Hygiene}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{CreepyRobe|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[#HairDifferenceBefore|HairDifferenceBefore]]
| next = [[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]
}}

===Transcript===

Well it's been a while after my [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shuts]]— it's been a while after my shower. My hair— some time to dry. Now look at it now. Not oily and much [[Chris and English|more fuller]]. Not so stringy either.

And I used…

''[Chris pulls out a bottle of shampoo.]''

…[[Armoraxe|Axe Armor]]! Anti-dandruff shampoo and conditioner!

''[Chris puts down the bottle.]''

Use it to put a shine on your hairy head! Make all the jokes you want. I won't care.

''[Chris puts on his [[glasses]] with the blue modeling clay on it.]''

And I've lost my nose piece recently. Had to fabricate a new one out of model magic.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]|nextlink=[[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2010-07-18T21:08:08Z

AutisticTroll: /* Master Onion A-La Mode */

{{quote|I [[curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you Dream Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

[[Image:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest.]]

In [[June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two [[PSP]]s and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be understated. Failure to win the contest was not an option.

==Master Onion A-La Mode==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| image = {{#ev:youtube|cEmM4JKZK8I}}
| Stardate = 29 [[June 2007]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Comedy|text}}
| Saga = {{Stackhouse|text}}
| Shirt = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Soul_Calibur#Chris_vs_Mary_Lee_Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next = [[CWC_is_Angry#Video|CWC is Angry]]
}}

To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ3o3kQZWm8 Chop Chop Master Onion Rap]. Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well, considering that he reads its lyrics while "performing," not bothering to rehearse/learn the lines. But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared? Oddly, he peppers the video with various video effects that seem to come from the standard Windows Movie Maker program, including a hilarious caption of "Birthday Boy" popping up during one point. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice', only for it to turn into laughing material. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise.

{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more) }}

<center>What Chris considers 5 out of 5 level material.

===Transcript===

<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in Ruckersville, Virginia!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and [[Homo|go with him now.]]
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

Kick! Punch! It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get rocky,
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck|Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a tit-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

Guitar Hero on PlayStation 3
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem></center>

==Campaign==

Chris's video made it into the top 10, probably because a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]].

At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving the flier to them. Of course, no one voted for Chris.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref> He took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts.

Chris also badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote for him. In return for his vote, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Chris wasn't interested in Cole's plight, and in return Cole never voted for him.

On the day before voting ended, Chris posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, not surprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]], whom Chris bears a grudge against as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video counts as ''a cappella''. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

The irony is Chris actually violated [http://images.innovyx.net/dp/scea/PSP/adhoc/062507/rules.html?ILC-Boards&LINK=CHOPCHOP062607 da rules] by making up bits and pieces of his own lyrics, as seen above. Just about the only logical reason Chris got as far as he did is that the judges had ''never quite seen anything like this before.''

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (No, we have no idea why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)

==Aftermath==

Because Chris was infuriated that he did not win the trip to Seattle, he sent an e-mail to the company that ran the contest to cry foul on [[Chris E-mails 2007#August|03 August 2007]]:

{{quote|[[Chris and His Ego|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP]] SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*

I had my fantasies of having fun with Megan, taking her to a really extravagent ''[sic]'' destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

Yes, Chris really did tell a complete stranger he should have won that contest because he wanted to fuck his best friend.

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against [[Adam Stackhouse]] and the other winners, using his favorite "[[Kick the Autistic]]" crutch. When people advised him to relax, he told them to shut up. As a result, he was put on a time out by an admin.

Two days later, Chris continued his rampage against Adam Stackhouse, during which he created a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. He went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the Honest, Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

During Christian's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost and that she would never have gone with him on the trip if he had won. Also, Chris claims to have contracted a "[[dirty crapped briefs|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body making this video.

There are actually two versions of the video. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. Either this version is the original version ''before'' Megan broke up with Chris, and Chris had to remove her picture to make amends, or the video with the picture was made ''much'' later, due to Chris's pangs of agony over long-lost love.

Regarding Adam, Chris made a video where, in silence, he [[CWC is Angry|repeatedly shot with a toy gun at a photo of Adam]].

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to comfort himself on losing the contest. Parappatherapingdog. Good job.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7V1gEjtmm9M}}
| Maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| Stardate = 9 January 2010
| Video Type = Remix
}}

==Sauces==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FFI3HKPS Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]][[Category: Events]][[Category: Contests]][[Category: Yo! CWC Raps]]

Chris and money

2010-07-04T00:02:15Z

AutisticTroll: /* In the comic */

{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris is what most would call a welfare leech. Chris's only source of income is the $800 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,600 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref> In addition, Chris and his family get [[Wikipedia:Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program|SNAP]] money every month- more commonly known as food stamps.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, completely deluded.}}

[[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] has been encouraging his son to remain unemployed, since he believes that Chris will earn more money from his monthly tugboat than from getting a job. However, this assumption is inaccurate. To put this in perspective, at the time of writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180 on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3); it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement comes from either delusion or knowing that his son is a [[fail]]ure.

Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34]]</ref> Again, this demonstrates his idiocy since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.

==Credit cards==
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. Chris has managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the PSN store, but his bill for PSN downloads increases by the day) and has even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his were maxed out. Being the greedy twat that he is, when Chris finally does make payments towards his debts, he always does so in the smallest installments possible, freeing himself to spend as much as he has (or more) on worthless shit, entirely oblivious to the fact that he's only increasing his debt by letting interest charges rack up. Economists are currently working on the theory that it is Chris's debts, not the collapse of financial institutions, which have caused the current global financial crisis.

==In the comic==
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely, all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of $3,500 a month just to hang around.

This, along with what else we know about [[CWCville]], could mean that Chris is a communist, or at the very least, a socialist. Of course, he's most likely too much of a retard to actually know what that means.

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually uses its own currency, in the form of C Quarters, W Quarters, and C Quarters. 10 C Quarters make up a W Quarter, and 10 W Quarters make up a C Quarter. Don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, especially considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]].

==In other works==
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American Social Security system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea...}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" in [[Mailbag 20]] as a building ten stories tall with 10 to 20 rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and Cable TV. Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in CWCville, there are around 1,000-2,000 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open 7 new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for virgins. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.

== On TV ==

In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money.

Chris also seems to not understand that [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|if the health department, of Greene County, sees that TV show, that he put on the damn TV, they could be evicted, and he would have to move out]].

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

User:AutisticTroll

2010-06-22T23:40:51Z

AutisticTroll:

<center>{{Americunt}}
{{JERK}}
{{Straight}}
{{White}}
{{Jew}}
{{Template:AssBurger}}
Like it says, I'm an autistic guy who hates Chris with a passion.</center>

Template talk:Chris and

2010-06-20T18:08:23Z

AutisticTroll: /* Chris and politics */ new section

Kick the Autistic

2010-06-19T21:24:00Z

AutisticTroll: /* Michael Snyder Style */

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Now for the [[Nintendo]] Wii!]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is the world's favorite game. This is the act of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like (for instance, a woman rejects Chris - "WHY MUST YOU PLAY KICK THE AUTISTIC?"). It is very probable he has done this in the past to get "speshul treatment" from "Young Ladies."

==Variations==
There are many known variations of the game, and we will go through the most effective.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a competition of artistry where Chris also competes, and [[Honor roll|out-talent him]]. This is usually easily done by showing any competence at all. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and shoot at your photograph.]]

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Take the time to befriend Chris and pretend you are a [[Boyfriend Free Girl]] until Chris trusts you. Then get Chris to give you something of value to him, and destroy it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
Chris is very funny about the material which he has plagiarized. If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's plagiarized comics. He will throw a fit and "take legal action against you if not removed by 14 days." Oh wait, YOU CAN'T [[Parody|COPYRIGHT UNORIGINAL CHARACTERS]] DIPSHIT.

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Chris is of the completely clueless type, and will trust anyone <s>with a little bit of time</s> who claims to have a [[China|china]]. Pretend to befriend Chris, and when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something lulzy. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him drinking his own [[semen]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and wait for the lulz to come pouring in.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a pickle suit. He will be bewildered by it and powerless to act.

===Cosmic Forces Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid.]] Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even rape women to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for [[Jimmy Hill|Clouding]] [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement.]] As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity... or reincarnate him as a male black widow spider... whichever.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are the</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect. Bonus points for buying ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Ban him from [[The GAMe PLACe|an establishment]] for being the [[Chris and hypocrisy|entitled]], [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and his Ego|self-obsessed]], [[death threats|dangerous]] manchild that he is. Quite correctly [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|never let him back in]]. '''WARNING''': This will probably result in Chris [[6 June 2010|coming to the store]] to [[pedofork|take pictures of your daughter]] and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|attempting to murder]] you with [[Son-Chu|his mother's car]].

===Literally===
One day, Chris will say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time, and they will literally kick the shit out of him. On that day trolls will shed tears of joy, and once again feel as if there is some sort of justice in the world. That being said, no reasonable troll should ever use physical violence to harm Chris, as there's no need to expend any sort of effort on him and it's not worth giving Chris something he could actually call the police over. (Plus, that would mean [[Chris and health#Hygiene|touching him]].) It will be much sweeter when he gets his ass handed to him by a random angry [[Niggos|African American]] or someone with an [[homos|alternate life-style]]. Even greater will be the day when he gets a little too touchy with a [[boyfriend-free girl]] and gets a face full of mace.

Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: The teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (barely), [[Jerkops]] (probably exaggerated) and [[Niggos#Conflicts_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost).

However, Chris has never experienced any real physical pain in his entire life. His parents never raised a finger against him, there is no record of him being grounded, or punished in any significant way even after he was [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]. The only exception to this is when [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell down, got a boo-boo, ran home to [[Barbara Chandler|mommy]], and vowed to never again even try to roller-skate, or, apparently, to do anything active at all.

Ever since the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]], it is believed that Chris may become the subject of a game of Kick the Autistic, featuring a guest team from the [[Wikipedia:United_States_Marine_Corps|Semper Fi Brotherhood]].

==Conclusion==
Remember kids, Kick the Autistic is everyone's favorite game and can be replayed over and over with Chris. He just never learns.

==See also==
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Video game president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major Nintendo consoles in time for Christmas.
*[[Troll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic Click to play!!]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Kick the Autistic

2010-06-18T23:40:32Z

AutisticTroll: /* Variations */

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Now for the [[Nintendo]] Wii!]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is the world's favorite game. This is the act of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like (for instance, a woman rejects Chris - "WHY MUST YOU PLAY KICK THE AUTISTIC?"). It is very probable he has done this in the past to get "speshul treatment" from "Young Ladies."

==Variations==
There are many known variations of the game, and we will go through the most effective.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a competition of artistry where Chris also competes, and [[Honor roll|out-talent him]]. This is usually easily done by showing any competence at all. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and shoot at your photograph.]]

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Take the time to befriend Chris and pretend you are a [[Boyfriend Free Girl]] until Chris trusts you. Then get Chris to give you something of value to him, and destroy it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
Chris is very funny about the material which he has plagiarized. If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's plagiarized comics. He will throw a fit and "take legal action against you if not removed by 14 days." Oh wait, YOU CAN'T [[Parody|COPYRIGHT UNORIGINAL CHARACTERS]] DIPSHIT.

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Chris is of the completely clueless type, and will trust anyone <s>with a little bit of time</s> who claims to have a [[China|china]]. Pretend to befriend Chris, and when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something lulzy. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him drinking his own [[semen]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and wait for the lulz to come pouring in.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a pickle suit. He will be bewildered by it and powerless to act.

===Cosmic Forces Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid.]] Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even rape women to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for [[Jimmy Hill|Clouding]] [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement.]] As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe his [[Kacey|Sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity... or reincarnate him as a male black widow spider... whichever.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are the</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[Youtube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect. Bonus points for buying ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Ban him from [[The GAMe PLACe|an establishment]] for being the entitled, angry, self-obsessed, dangerous asshole that he is. Quite correctly never let him back in. '''WARNING''' This will probably result in Chris [[6 June 2010|coming to the store]] to [[pedofork|take pictures of your daughter]] and [[Chris and anger|attempt to murder]] you with [[Son-Chu|his mother's car]].

===Literally===
One day, Chris will say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time, and they will literally kick the shit out of him. On that day trolls will shed tears of joy, and once again feel as if there is some sort of justice in the world. That being said, no reasonable troll should ever use physical violence to harm Chris, as there's no need to expend any sort of effort on him and it's not worth giving Chris something he could actually call the police over. (Plus, that would mean [[Chris and health#Hygiene|touching him]].) It will be much sweeter when he gets his ass handed to him by a random angry [[Niggos|African American]] or someone with an [[homos|alternate life-style]]. Even greater will be the day when he gets a little too touchy with a [[boyfriend-free girl]] and gets a face full of mace.

Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: The teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (barely), [[Jerkops]] (probably exaggerated) and [[Niggos#Conflicts_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost).

However, Chris has never experienced any real physical pain in his entire life. His parents never raised a finger against him, there is no record of him being grounded, or punished in any significant way even after he was [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]. The only exception to this is when [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell down, got a boo-boo, ran home to [[Barbara Chandler|mommy]], and vowed to never again even try to roller-skate, or, apparently, to do anything active at all.

Ever since the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]], it is believed that Chris may become the subject of a game of Kick the Autistic, featuring a guest team from the [[Wikipedia:United_States_Marine_Corps|Semper Fi Brotherhood]].

==Conclusion==
Remember kids, Kick the Autistic is everyone's favorite game and can be replayed over and over with Chris. He just never learns.

==See also==
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Video game president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major Nintendo consoles in time for Christmas.
*[[Troll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic Click to play!!]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Asperger syndrome

2010-06-18T15:00:06Z

AutisticTroll: /* Chris on Asperger's */

{{quote|Aspergers is Nothing At All Like [[Autism]]. I have stated this Fact over and over again in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise. I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are Anything to Full Similar.|The great Christian Weston Chandler, who [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|obviously knows more about the relation between Asperger's syndome and autism]] than actual scientists and psychiatrists who study it.}}

[[Image:CWCASPIE.JPG|thumb|People with Asperger's are frequently called "Aspies"]]

[[Chris]] has an extremely warped and inconsistent view of '''Asperger's syndrome'''. He varies between outright denying that it is part of the [[autism]] spectrum, to idiotically confusing it with [[Bob Chandler|Alzheimer's Disease]]. You know, since both sound German. Like [[duck|bratwurst]]. He also believes people with Asperger's are [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"stealing the limelight from us autistics."]]

==Background==
Asperger syndrome is a social disorder that is considered by some to fall within the autism spectrum. Its symptoms are similar to those seen in high-functioning autism cases like Chris (although, unlike him, people with Asperger syndrome are generally marked by above-average intelligence).

Because many laypersons regard Asperger's and HFA to be essentially interchangeable and identical, and because the slang term "aspie" (short for "Asperger's", obviously) is often used to describe anyone with a disorder along the autism spectrum, newcomers to the Chris-chan phenomenon sometimes assume that he has and/or claims to have Asperger's. A few people even jump to the conclusion that, like many people who claim to have Asperger's, Chris is self-diagnosed.

However, Chris is easily offended by the suggestion that Asperger syndrome is even remotely similar to autism.

==Chris on Asperger's==
For some time, Chris referred to Asperger's as a disorder that affects the memory: [[IRC (02 January 2009)|on IRC]], in his online [[Quizzes#Autism Quiz|Autism Quiz]], in the [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook]], and in his [[Mailbag]] on [[CWCipedia]], among other places. It appeared as if Chris was confusing Asperger's with Alzheimer's disease, an easy enough mistake for someone as stupid as he is to make.

Not long after Chris began answering the Mailbag, Asperger's became a recurring topic in the column. Numerous e-mails doggedly attempted to correct his misconceptions, while in his replies Chris became much more defensive and much less consistent in his arguments about why Asperger's is so different from autism. Eventually, he decided to settle the issue with a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|spectacularly butthurt essay]], revealing the real reason Asperger's "grinds his gears."

{{Quote|And those with Aspergers DARE try to take the Shine and Limelight AWAY from us Autistic people, not only with their "Social Flaws" and such possibly similar traits to Autism. But to SHUN us Autistics by being BETTER Communicatively and Mentally than us.|Chris, claiming that people with Asperger's are out to steal his autistic thunder.}}

In short, Chris doesn't understand what differences between his condition and Asperger's syndrome may or may not exist, and more to the point, he doesn't care. He simply feels that people with Asperger's are receiving some measure of the attention and sympathy that [[Chris and his ego|he deserves]] instead. Naturally, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] ensues. In [[Mailbag 19]] he even admits that the first thing he thinks of when he hears the term Aspergers is "Competing Retards."

As per his adamance that HFA and Aspergers are completely unrelated, Chris also point blank refuses to acknowledge scientific research that contradicts his statements of so-called fact; indeed, he eventually began totally ignoring any [[Mailbag]] entries that included references to such papers. It is interesting to note that he will defend his opinions on the matter quite solidly, he also appears to think that his opinion is essentially the final say in the matter.

Chris's belief that he is somehow representing his fellow autistics in some sort of tribal conflict against people with Asperger's is entertaining on a couple of levels. For one thing, any such rivalry is nothing but a figment of his overactive imagination, not shared by most people on the autistic spectrum. For another, autistics who've been exposed to Chris universally regard him as a revolting embarrassment to other people with the same condition.

He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like "ass burgers":

{{Quote|I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.| Chris, in an [[Jackie e-mails|e-mail to Jackie.]]}}

Chris' [[Chris and anger|fury]] over Asperger's and autism being referred to as the same disorder also extends to his [[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|inability to show any actual empathy]] towards a real victim. In commenting on a news article about a woman with Asperger syndrome being [[Chris and rape|raped]], Chris shows outrage and indignance, not because a disabled woman was targeted for a brutal violation, but because the article referred to Asperger's several times as a form of autism:

{{Quote|Would this even be posted if this girl had TRUE AUTISM? Of course not, this is Yet Another example of aspergers people trying to take the Limelight away from Those of us who have TRUE & HONEST AUTISM, not something that sounds like a Bad cut of meat from a cow.<ref>[http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/01/anferney_fontenet_15_rapes_wom.php Anferney Fontenet, 15, Rapes Woman on Busy Toledo Street; No One Stops to Help] Chris' comment can be found at 1/22/2010 12:51:06 PM</ref>}}

And people wonder why most autistics hate Chris.

==Chris versus Autism Awareness Month==
{{main|Autism Awareness E-mails}}

In [[April 2010]], Chris uploaded his own version of a web ad for Autism Awareness Month to the CWCipedia. It featured another short rant in which he once again stated his belief that Asperger's has nothing to do with autism, and thus shouldn't receive any extra awareness.

This led a well-meaning volunteer worker to write him and try to correct his misconceptions. She didn't succeed, but their conversation does reveal Chris making some bizarrely contradictory statements, even by his standards. Among other things, he says that the notion of a total disconnect between Asperger's and autism is entirely his own invention, and nobody else led him to that conclusion...but that doesn't stop it from being an indisputable fact.

{{quote|For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea. I will NEVER conform to such a blasphemous link of any kind between the two.|Chris, defining [[Chris and reality|reality]] according to his whim as usual.}}

==Real differences between Asperger's and autism==
According to Chris, having Asperger's is [[Chris and Anger|NOTHING LIKE AUTISM GET IT THROUGH YOUR DANG DIRTY SKULLS]]! Of course we don't have to take Chris's word for it and we would be clinically insane if we did. People that are far more qualified than him have done some research on the matter and the results may be considered not entirely surprising.

'''Spoiler''': Chris couldn't be more wrong if he tried. Srsly.<ref>[http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:0eVuokPKvMoJ:www.sacramentoasis.com/docs/8-22-03/as_%26_hfa.pdf+difference+asperger+autism&hl=nl&gl=nl&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEEShq7bXfr0kKmJZJO041e8U6YGlrx0bwKzBzXWh0tJHAWrIe024G57KwzsmIjUW5rrsNhXUr7ld4nVUWIMJRXFXzoIUksEVD8GBb7t_FhNriLnFJp5vcrfkd_tLlmUqFsY3gDCxL&sig=AHIEtbRUV1TCXswi1U77qGwN-mVIUHVG3w Study by renowned autism researcher Tony Attwood]</ref>

{{quotebox|There has been research comparing the cognitive profile of adolescents with autism and Asperger's syndrome. The studies have examined the cognitive profile of what may becalled 'High Functioning Autism', that is children with a diagnosis of autism with an Intelligence Quotient in the normal range, i.e. above 70. The term High Functioning Autism has been used in the past to describe children who had the classic signs of autism in early childhood but as they developed, formal testing of their cognitive skills indicated a greater degree of intellectual ability with greater social and adaptive behaviour skills than are usual with children with autism. Their clinical outcome was better than expected. The cognitive abilities of this group of children were then compared to the cognitive profile of children with Asperger's syndrome, who did not have a history of early cognitive or language delay. The results of the research has not established a distinct and consistent profile for each group. It was found that only a minority of each diagnostic group showed a characteristic profile.

Clinical experience and research has confirmed that in terms of the child's behavioural profile, children and adults with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome have a very similar presentation. Both groups benefit from the same behavioural treatment programs. The recommendations from clinicians and academics for treatment for both High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome are the same. Clinicians have noted that as the clinical picture of Pervasive Developmental Disorders or Autistic Spectrum Disorders changes over time, a child may receive a diagnosis of severe autism or High Functioning Autism at one point in their developmental history and Asperger's syndrome at a later stage.

In short, the research and clinical experience would suggest that there is no clear evidence that they are different disorders. Their similarities are greater than their differences.}}

Perhaps the leading irony of Chris's crusade against Asperger's is that he probably has Asperger's himself. The only real difference between a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" and "Asperger's" is the time at which the diagnosis was made. Asperger's syndrome was first added to the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in 1994, and it wasn't until the 2000s that it gained substantial recognition among professionals. Chris happens to have made "high-functioning autism" a cornerstone of his identity because that's the diagnosis he received as a child in the late 1980s. If he'd been born two decades later, though, it is quite likely he'd have wound up diagnosed with the Asperger's label he so fiercely detests. In which case, that article he wrote would probably be ranting about the autistics trying to steal his aspie thunder.

Additionally, as of early 2010, the American Psychological Association has suggested no longer referring to Asperger's syndrome under [[wikipedia:DSM-V|the DSM-V]], due for publication in 2013. Instead, what are now referred to as Asperger's syndrome, autism, and PDD-NOS—already widely understood to be related conditions—will be referred to as just autism spectrum disorders, further cementing the connection between the two. <ref>[http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1 Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose]</ref>

TL;DR: Autism and Asperger's are so similar even people trained to diagnose them have trouble telling the difference. And, in fact, there may be ''no'' difference.

==See also==
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]

Asperger syndrome

2010-06-18T14:54:54Z

AutisticTroll: /* Chris on Asperger's */

{{quote|Aspergers is Nothing At All Like [[Autism]]. I have stated this Fact over and over again in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise. I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are Anything to Full Similar.|The great Christian Weston Chandler, who [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|obviously knows more about the relation between Asperger's syndome and autism]] than actual scientists and psychiatrists who study it.}}

[[Image:CWCASPIE.JPG|thumb|People with Asperger's are frequently called "Aspies"]]

[[Chris]] has an extremely warped and inconsistent view of '''Asperger's syndrome'''. He varies between outright denying that it is part of the [[autism]] spectrum, to idiotically confusing it with [[Bob Chandler|Alzheimer's Disease]]. You know, since both sound German. Like [[duck|bratwurst]]. He also believes people with Asperger's are [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"stealing the limelight from us autistics."]]

==Background==
Asperger syndrome is a social disorder that is considered by some to fall within the autism spectrum. Its symptoms are similar to those seen in high-functioning autism cases like Chris (although, unlike him, people with Asperger syndrome are generally marked by above-average intelligence).

Because many laypersons regard Asperger's and HFA to be essentially interchangeable and identical, and because the slang term "aspie" (short for "Asperger's", obviously) is often used to describe anyone with a disorder along the autism spectrum, newcomers to the Chris-chan phenomenon sometimes assume that he has and/or claims to have Asperger's. A few people even jump to the conclusion that, like many people who claim to have Asperger's, Chris is self-diagnosed.

However, Chris is easily offended by the suggestion that Asperger syndrome is even remotely similar to autism.

==Chris on Asperger's==
For some time, Chris referred to Asperger's as a disorder that affects the memory: [[IRC (02 January 2009)|on IRC]], in his online [[Quizzes#Autism Quiz|Autism Quiz]], in the [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook]], and in his [[Mailbag]] on [[CWCipedia]], among other places. It appeared as if Chris was confusing Asperger's with Alzheimer's disease, an easy enough mistake for someone as stupid as he is to make.

Not long after Chris began answering the Mailbag, Asperger's became a recurring topic in the column. Numerous e-mails doggedly attempted to correct his misconceptions, while in his replies Chris became much more defensive and much less consistent in his arguments about why Asperger's is so different from autism. Eventually, he decided to settle the issue with a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|spectacularly butthurt essay]], revealing the real reason Asperger's "grinds his gears."

{{Quote|And those with Aspergers DARE try to take the Shine and Limelight AWAY from us Autistic people, not only with their "Social Flaws" and such possibly similar traits to Autism. But to SHUN us Autistics by being BETTER Communicatively and Mentally than us.|Chris, claiming that people with Asperger's are out to steal his autistic thunder.}}

In short, Chris doesn't understand what differences between his condition and Asperger's syndrome may or may not exist, and more to the point, he doesn't care. He simply feels that people with Asperger's are receiving some measure of the attention and sympathy that [[Chris and his ego|he deserves]] instead. Naturally, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] ensues. In [[Mailbag 19]] he even admits that the first thing he thinks of when he hears the term Aspergers is "Competing Retards."

As per his adamance that HFA and Aspergers are completely unrelated, Chris also point blank refuses to acknowledge scientific research that contradicts his statements of so-called fact; indeed, he eventually began totally ignoring any [[Mailbag]] entries that included references to such papers. It is interesting to note that he will defend his opinions on the matter quite solidly, he also appears to think that his opinion is essentially the final say in the matter.

Chris's belief that he is somehow representing his fellow autistics in some sort of tribal conflict against people with Asperger's is entertaining on a couple of levels. For one thing, any such rivalry is nothing but a figment of his overactive imagination, not shared by most people on the autistic spectrum. For another, autistics who've been exposed to Chris universally regard him as a revolting embarrassment to other people with the same condition.

He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like "ass burgers":

{{Quote|I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.| Chris, in an [[Jackie e-mails|e-mail to Jackie.]]}}

Chris' [[Chris and anger|fury]] over Asperger's and autism being referred to as the same disorder also extends to his inability to show any actual empathy towards a real victim. In commenting on a news article about a woman with Asperger syndrome being [[Chris and rape|raped]], Chris shows outrage and indignance, not because a disabled woman was targeted for a brutal violation, but because the article referred to Aserger's several times as a form of autism:

{{Quote|Would this even be posted if this girl had TRUE AUTISM? Of course not, this is Yet Another example of aspergers people trying to take the Limelight away from Those of us who have TRUE & HONEST AUTISM, not something that sounds like a Bad cut of meat from a cow.}}<ref>[http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/01/anferney_fontenet_15_rapes_wom.php Anferney Fontenet, 15, Rapes Woman on Busy Toledo Street; No One Stops to Help] Chris' comment can be found at 1/22/2010 12:51:06 PM</ref>

And people wonder why most autistics hate Chris.

==Chris versus Autism Awareness Month==
{{main|Autism Awareness E-mails}}

In [[April 2010]], Chris uploaded his own version of a web ad for Autism Awareness Month to the CWCipedia. It featured another short rant in which he once again stated his belief that Asperger's has nothing to do with autism, and thus shouldn't receive any extra awareness.

This led a well-meaning volunteer worker to write him and try to correct his misconceptions. She didn't succeed, but their conversation does reveal Chris making some bizarrely contradictory statements, even by his standards. Among other things, he says that the notion of a total disconnect between Asperger's and autism is entirely his own invention, and nobody else led him to that conclusion...but that doesn't stop it from being an indisputable fact.

{{quote|For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea. I will NEVER conform to such a blasphemous link of any kind between the two.|Chris, defining [[Chris and reality|reality]] according to his whim as usual.}}

==Real differences between Asperger's and autism==
According to Chris, having Asperger's is [[Chris and Anger|NOTHING LIKE AUTISM GET IT THROUGH YOUR DANG DIRTY SKULLS]]! Of course we don't have to take Chris's word for it and we would be clinically insane if we did. People that are far more qualified than him have done some research on the matter and the results may be considered not entirely surprising.

'''Spoiler''': Chris couldn't be more wrong if he tried. Srsly.<ref>[http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:0eVuokPKvMoJ:www.sacramentoasis.com/docs/8-22-03/as_%26_hfa.pdf+difference+asperger+autism&hl=nl&gl=nl&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEEShq7bXfr0kKmJZJO041e8U6YGlrx0bwKzBzXWh0tJHAWrIe024G57KwzsmIjUW5rrsNhXUr7ld4nVUWIMJRXFXzoIUksEVD8GBb7t_FhNriLnFJp5vcrfkd_tLlmUqFsY3gDCxL&sig=AHIEtbRUV1TCXswi1U77qGwN-mVIUHVG3w Study by renowned autism researcher Tony Attwood]</ref>

{{quotebox|There has been research comparing the cognitive profile of adolescents with autism and Asperger's syndrome. The studies have examined the cognitive profile of what may becalled 'High Functioning Autism', that is children with a diagnosis of autism with an Intelligence Quotient in the normal range, i.e. above 70. The term High Functioning Autism has been used in the past to describe children who had the classic signs of autism in early childhood but as they developed, formal testing of their cognitive skills indicated a greater degree of intellectual ability with greater social and adaptive behaviour skills than are usual with children with autism. Their clinical outcome was better than expected. The cognitive abilities of this group of children were then compared to the cognitive profile of children with Asperger's syndrome, who did not have a history of early cognitive or language delay. The results of the research has not established a distinct and consistent profile for each group. It was found that only a minority of each diagnostic group showed a characteristic profile.

Clinical experience and research has confirmed that in terms of the child's behavioural profile, children and adults with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome have a very similar presentation. Both groups benefit from the same behavioural treatment programs. The recommendations from clinicians and academics for treatment for both High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome are the same. Clinicians have noted that as the clinical picture of Pervasive Developmental Disorders or Autistic Spectrum Disorders changes over time, a child may receive a diagnosis of severe autism or High Functioning Autism at one point in their developmental history and Asperger's syndrome at a later stage.

In short, the research and clinical experience would suggest that there is no clear evidence that they are different disorders. Their similarities are greater than their differences.}}

Perhaps the leading irony of Chris's crusade against Asperger's is that he probably has Asperger's himself. The only real difference between a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" and "Asperger's" is the time at which the diagnosis was made. Asperger's syndrome was first added to the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in 1994, and it wasn't until the 2000s that it gained substantial recognition among professionals. Chris happens to have made "high-functioning autism" a cornerstone of his identity because that's the diagnosis he received as a child in the late 1980s. If he'd been born two decades later, though, it is quite likely he'd have wound up diagnosed with the Asperger's label he so fiercely detests. In which case, that article he wrote would probably be ranting about the autistics trying to steal his aspie thunder.

Additionally, as of early 2010, the American Psychological Association has suggested no longer referring to Asperger's syndrome under [[wikipedia:DSM-V|the DSM-V]], due for publication in 2013. Instead, what are now referred to as Asperger's syndrome, autism, and PDD-NOS—already widely understood to be related conditions—will be referred to as just autism spectrum disorders, further cementing the connection between the two. <ref>[http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1 Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose]</ref>

TL;DR: Autism and Asperger's are so similar even people trained to diagnose them have trouble telling the difference. And, in fact, there may be ''no'' difference.

==See also==
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]

Chick-fil-A

2010-06-06T22:39:20Z

AutisticTroll:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:ChickFilA.jpg|thumb|right|Admittedly, the store might've been a [[Chris and writing|literary influence.]]]]

'''Chick-fil-A''' is a fast-food restaurant chain originating in the American south that Chris frequents, famous for its chicken sandwiches and always being closed on Sundays (due their Christian "seventh day of rest" beliefs). Reputedly one of the most 'healthy' fast food options;<ref>http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/11230/americas-bestand-worstrestaurants</ref> however, Chris has mentioned it much less often than its [[Chris and health|artery-clogging]] big brother, [[McDonald's]].

Possibly its lack of marketing campaigns aimed at children and foolish sweepstakes or [[My Coke Rewards|"reward programs"]] keep Chick-fil-A from maintaining the loyalty of creepy loitering manchildren. Thus, [[Chris]] has never been banned from a Chick-fil-A in an [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|epic showdown]] battling [[jerkops]].

==Appearances==
*Chris met up with [[Emily]] in front of the Chick-fil-A at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. [[Apology to Emily| Or, at least tried to by calling out to the patrons (who were undoubtedly amused and perplexed)]].

*The [[CWCville Shopping Center]] includes a lone Chick-Fil-A on the 2nd floor.

==References==
<references/>

==See Also==

*[[McDonald's]]
*[[Country Cookin]]
*[[Golden Corral]]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Golden Corral

2010-06-06T22:39:06Z

AutisticTroll:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:GoldenCorral.jpg|thumb|right|Golden Corral death pact! GOLDEN CORRAL DEATH PACT!]]

'''Golden Corral''' is an all-you-can-eat buffet chain, well-known in the American south and midwest as ''the'' place to go for a maximum ratio of calories consumed to cash expended. Just don't think too much about where it all came from. It's one of Chris's favorite places to eat, probably since he can [[obesity|stuff his face]] with fatty, low quality food at a [[Chris and money|low price]].

==References by Chris==
Chris has referred to Golden Corral on a few occasions.

*[[Caitlin]], a waitress Chris had a crush on for a day or so, worked at Golden Corral.
*In [[Mumble 2]], he mentioned that it's one of his favorite places to eat.
*Describing his ideal date spots in an [[IRC (18 December 2008)|IRC chat]], Chris proposed Golden Corral as a second-date destination.
*Chris's visits to the Corral with his family seem to be tightly scheduled. In a [[MySpace]] conversation from 04 September 2005, he noted that they'd be there from 3:30 to 4:45 the next day.
*In his profile at [[The Hook Cafe]] he lists it as his favorite restaurant.

==See also==
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[McDonald's]]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Country Cookin

2010-06-06T22:37:51Z

AutisticTroll:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:CClogo.jpg|center]]

[[Image:CCrestaurant.jpg|thumb|right|Country Cookin, Authentic country-style food, served in an authentic pre-fab restaurant.]]

[[Image:CCFarmvillebar.jpg|thumb|right|Well, the inside looks a lot more appetizing.]]

'''Country Cookin''', spelled without a "G" or an apostrophe (oh, those wacky rednecks) is [[Christian]]'s not-quite-fast-food restaurant of choice. It is a Virginia-based chain of rustic steak house/buffet and grill restaurants (akin to [[Golden Corral]] or Ponderosa/Bonanza Steakhouse in the US, and Harvester, Beefeater or Brewer's Fayre in the UK).

He has mentioned it on several occasions and even has taken his troll friend [[Joshua Martinez]] there.

==References by Chris==
* In an e-mail conversation with [[Anna McLerran]] from 2007, Chris mentioned his regular trips to the restaurant with Joshua.
* In [[Mumble 2]], Chris mentioned Country Cookin as one of his favorite restaurants.
* Country Cookin is located in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

==External Links==
* [http://www.countrycookin.com/ Official Website]
* [http://www.sayitontheweb.com/~cookin/menu/menu.pdf Downloadable PDF Menu]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!

2010-05-10T01:30:30Z

AutisticTroll:

'''NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!''' is a video uploaded 14 [[August 2009]]. This is Chris's response to [[CChanSonichuCWC]]'s finale. The video contains the first appearance of Chris's sign to save [[McIntire Park]], which appears later in a video recorded from [[Charlottesville]] public access television.

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTER
| image = {{#ev:youtube|MqNhOEBVxtk}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = {{RedBlackTrim}} Red with Black Trim
| previous = [[CWC Public Disclaimer]]
| next = [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:Sonichu_Rosechu_Save_McIntire_by_Cwcipedia.jpg|thumb|Save it to the extreme, you two!]]
Oh no you don't Chris! YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THAT EASY! You do all that, [[Chris and the Law|I will SUE your sorry ass]]. And I wanna tell [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo]] in Redmond right away to stop you, because they know as well as I do. I sent them a letter previously months and months ago for the origi-for the original printout of the [[Sonichu 0|Number Zero book]]. They know! They have the records. They know! I have been a customer of them FOR YEARS! They have had my money a bunch of times! Long before I made up with Sony and gave them [[monthly tugboat|over two th...]] Hah! [''Does an incredibly gay hand gesture; then makes an odd squealing sound''] Nintendo has like five th- over five thousand dollars worth between me and my parents but anyway. I'm st... Anyway, you are not-you will not succeed. [''Points finger at camera''] YOU ARE THE IMPOSTOR!

[''backs away from the camera''] YOU ARE THE IMPOSTOR! STOP THAT BROWN-STRIPED IN! THE! ... SHIRT! [''nods head''] WITH THE PAPER MEDALLION! STOP THAT IMPOSTOR [''Shows a drawn cardboard, the Sonichu [[McIntire Park]] sign''] [[Sonichu|SONICHU]] AND [[Rosechu|ROSECHU]] ARE MINE ALONE. I AM THE Christian Weston Chandler, [''begins to speed his speech''] born with the birth name of [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] on February 24th [[1982]], I'm the one [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr]] as my father and [[Barbara Anne Weston Chandler]] as my mother, [[14 Branchland Court]] [[Ruckersville]], Virginia 22968 434 990 0198 STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!

{{RageQuote|DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU}}

[jump cut]

[''reappears without glasses'']Especially after I disclaimer video I made where I told them by not to buy anything from you, I warn Nintendo, and [[Hex Bawx|Microsoft]], and Sony, do not buy anything from him either, HE'S THE IMPOSTOR, I'M THE REAL DEAL, LOOK AT THE HISTORY ON [[ED]] AND EVERYWHERE ELSE. You will rot in jail, mister ssss. You will rot in jail, Nintendo has known me for years, slala... so much longer, practically my whole lifetime. They know me. And they know you to be the impostor. You go into Nintendo's doors, they will kick your ass out. Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony, STOP HIM! PUT HIM IN JAIL! CALL THE [[jerkops|POLICE]] ON HIM! Anybody else, in my [[True and Loyal Fanbase|true loyal fanbase]], do the same thing, please help me, put him in jail when you see his sorry face. And you know what? Let's top this off. Right now. No ''Shin'', we're going for the original. Just for that impostor that has worn the brown stripes all this time. Hmmm... Curse-ye-ha-me...

{{RageQuote|''HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!''}}

[''jump cut'']

Call the police on him. [''Exhales''] Have a nice day.

==See also==
*[[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Public Disclaimer]]|nextlink=[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris and religion

2010-02-14T06:01:19Z

AutisticTroll: Agreed, and one more minor addition.

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1st Corinthians 13:11, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}

'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, pornography, and masturbation. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents...shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Irrespective of his religion, Chris believes he has received multiple visions from God.

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|[[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified Methodist church.<ref>[[IRC_(28_December_2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the Southern Baptist and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Catholic church Chris could have come up with.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information.

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRISTIAN ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|right|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls|trolls']] side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|But then God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]].]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...[insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact God has never backed him up on said threats.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from God and Jesus in visions. He has never specified the nature of these visions, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[fail]]ure was impossible. When Chris was been accused of racism for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. Thus proving that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a laugh at his expense.

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To_Clyde_and_Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter in [[Mailbag 33]] asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that." One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterwards anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

It's important to ask Christians why, if God is so loving, there is pain and suffering in the world, and why they have suffered at the hands of him. However, unlike many Christians, Chris can't even think of a half-assed answer to the question. It's strange that despite Chris' strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.

===Afterlife===
[[Image:Apostle_paul_rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of Apostle Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.|Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV), on how it is impossible to ''earn'' salvation.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, on [[Mailbag 30#Questions|earning salvation]].}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris [[Fail|fails]] at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He [[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|personally believes he will go to heaven]] because he's done "[[Lie|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[Homos|homosexuals]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated.

== The Bear ==
For some odd reason, Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|refers]] to both God and "[[Christopher's name change|The Bear]]" as the ones who gave him his name at Regency Square Shopping center in 1989. "The Bear" refers to a conducting bear who mistook "Christopher" for "Christian" in 1989; which Chris seems to think was a sign from God to change his name.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]], and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible. His homophobia apparently had nothing to do with Leviticus 18:22, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from [[Family Guy]]. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggest that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all "Seven Deadly Sins"===

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that any sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': Obvious. Between all the purchases of sex toys and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought: it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. See [[Chris and Sex]]
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is hereditary or the result of over consumption, but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. [[Cole Smithey|putting his brother's questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him]]), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]].
*'''Sloth''': Another extremely obvious one. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the Internet, Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris_and_anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': His attitude towards other men as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than most Christians should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's self-centered worldview and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life. See [[Chris and his Ego]] for more information.

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshipping them. Chris seems to believe that either the Medallions of Fail or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says 'goddamn' a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father. He also [[Bob Walks In Aftermath|called his father a bastard]] once.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem]] with premarital sex in general.
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': It is unknown if Chris has ever stolen any physical thing in real life, but if [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has however, stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]]
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]].

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that: if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of Halakha, Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos|homosexuality]] is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, and many people who cite this verse, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Most Christians pick and choose which Levitical laws they obey and which were "merely metaphor" or "just for the Hebrews" despite what [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%205:17&version=NIV Jesus Christ said about the laws]. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokemon|pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-ye-ha-me-ha!]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit |attract the ladies]].

==Chris the Shaman==
[[Image:Ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled; and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. For Chris, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him so. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], while being a threat, also seem to be his attempts at somehow harming the trolls as well through [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_magic sympathetic magic]. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting. The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside but parallel to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) will devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[Dreams|dreams]].

While Chris has indeed used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in the past in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on Liquid Chris in a video. With the 'kidnapping' of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. He later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed; but if you're true and honest, you will receive blessings.

Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, rather it is explicitly proscribed by his faith at various points in the scripture. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris' death.

For all we know, he's gonna start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement for the comics.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris later addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris' blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a God's bear. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American south, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in Daoism seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus." The irony here is that it's even harder for Atheists to try and take God and Jesus seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Mailbag 35]], his response was "Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", IT IS FACT. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."

[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]] reveals that Chris has some awareness of Judaism, probably picked up from watching [[South Park]]. He appears to not understand that Jews or Buddhists don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same church or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship but calls them churches because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.

In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A| article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User:AutisticTroll

2010-02-14T03:31:50Z

AutisticTroll:

{{Americunt}}
Like it says, I'm an autistic guy who hates Chris with a passion.

User:AutisticTroll

2010-02-14T01:07:59Z

AutisticTroll: Created page with 'Like it says, I'm an autistic guy who hates Chris with a passion.'

Like it says, I'm an autistic guy who hates Chris with a passion.

Chris and religion

2010-02-13T05:14:24Z

AutisticTroll:

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|GodJesus, explaining Chris' failure}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}

'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, pornography, and masturbation. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents...shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Irrespective of his religion, Chris believes he has received multiple visions from God.

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|[[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified Methodist church.<ref>[[IRC_(28_December_2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the Southern Baptist and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Catholic church Chris could have come up with.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information.

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRISTIAN ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|right|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls|trolls']] side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|But then God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]].]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...[insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact God has never backed him up on said threats.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from God and Jesus in visions. He has never specified the nature of these visions, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[fail]]ure was impossible. When Chris was been accused of racism for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. Thus proving that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a laugh at his expense.

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To_Clyde_and_Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter in [[Mailbag 33]] asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that." One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterwards anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

It's important to ask Christians why, if God is so loving, there is pain and suffering in the world, and why they have suffered at the hands of him. However, unlike many Christians, Chris can't even think of a half-assed answer to the question. It's strange that despite Chris' strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.

===Afterlife===
[[Image:Apostle_paul_rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of Apostle Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.|Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV), on how it is impossible to ''earn'' salvation.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, on [[Mailbag 30#Questions|earning salvation]].}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris [[Fail|fails]] at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He [[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|personally believes he will go to heaven]] because he's done "[[Lie|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[Homos|homosexuals]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated.

== The Bear ==
For some odd reason, Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|refers]] to both God and "[[Christopher's name change|The Bear]]" as the ones who gave him his name at Regency Square Shopping center in 1989. "The Bear" refers to a conducting bear who mistook "Christopher" for "Christian" in 1989; which Chris seems to think was a sign from God to change his name.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]], and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible. His homophobia apparently had nothing to do with Leviticus 18:22, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from [[Family Guy]]. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggest that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all "Seven Deadly Sins"===

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that any sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': Obvious. Between all the purchases of sex toys and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought: it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. See [[Chris and Sex]]
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is hereditary or the result of over consumption, but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. [[Cole Smithey|putting his brother's questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him]]), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]].
*'''Sloth''': Another extremely obvious one. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the Internet, Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris_and_anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': His attitude towards other men as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than most Christians should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's self-centered worldview and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life. See [[Chris and his Ego]] for more information.

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshipping them. Chris seems to believe that either the Medallions of Fail or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says 'goddamn' a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father. He also [[Bob Walks In Aftermath|called his father a bastard]] once.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem]] with premarital sex in general.
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': It is unknown if Chris has ever stolen any physical thing in real life, but if [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has however, stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]]
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]].

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that: if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of Halakha, Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos|homosexuality]] is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, and many people who cite this verse, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Most Christians pick and choose which Levitical laws they obey and which were "merely metaphor" or "just for the Hebrews" despite what [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%205:17&version=NIV Jesus Christ said about the laws]. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokemon|pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-ye-ha-me-ha!]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit |attract the ladies]].

==Chris the Shaman==
[[Image:Ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled; and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. For Chris, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him so. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], while being a threat, also seem to be his attempts at somehow harming the trolls as well through [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_magic sympathetic magic]. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting. The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside but parallel to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) will devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[Dreams|dreams]].

While Chris has indeed used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in the past in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on Liquid Chris in a video. With the 'kidnapping' of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. He later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed; but if you're true and honest, you will receive blessings.

Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, rather it is explicitly proscribed by his faith at various points in the scripture. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris' death.

For all we know, he's gonna start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement for the comics.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris later addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris' blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a God's bear. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American south, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in Daoism seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus." The irony here is that it's even harder for Atheists to try and take God and Jesus seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Mailbag 35]], his response was "Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", IT IS FACT. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."

[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]] reveals that Chris has some awareness of Judaism, probably picked up from watching [[South Park]]. He appears to not understand that Jews or Buddhists don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same church or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship but calls them churches because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.

In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A| article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]