CWCki - User contributions [en]

Lovely Weather

2012-06-10T03:22:36Z

Avenger:

{{Quote|
<poem>"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling, too
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you,
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you."</poem>
|Sleigh Ride<ref>[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/christmas_songs_lyrics_10575/other_lyrics_33314/sleigh_ride_lyrics_360899.html "Sleigh Ride" Lyrics]</ref>}}

[[Image:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg|thumb|Note the broad shoulders, the lack of hips, and how she's as tall as Chris...]]

'''Lovely Weather''' is [[Chris]]'s future wife, whom Chris traveled through the [[Time Void]] to [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|rape]], ''Revenge of the Nerds''-style. Although many of Chris's real-life [[sweethearts]] have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is as yet an entirely fictional creation, making Chris all the more pathetic.

Chris [[Mailbag 50#And in closing...|likes to sing]] "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather..." over and over. He thinks [[Random-access humor|this is clever]] because "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name! [[Chris and reality|Now it is.]] For the godless heathens among us who have never heard Christmas music before, the song is "Sleigh Ride", a holiday staple since the early 1950's.<ref>[[Wikipedia: Sleigh Ride]]</ref>

==Overview==
[[Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|thumb|150px|A sweetheart of the OPPOSITE GENDER.]]

Lovely Weather can be seen in the comic in her present-day form, where she looks like a [[Silvana|man in drag]]. Since Lovely Weather was a relatively new character in the ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic, with a first appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[fans]] had expected more [[Giant Penis Comic|"shenanigans"]] involving her in the future. The indefinite hiatus of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], however, makes this unlikely.

She stands as a bold statement of Christian's unrealistic expectations, as she has enormous jugs, wears a thong, enjoys very casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. In other words, his perfect woman appears to be a whore who's almost as retarded as he is.

Some speculate that her masculine proportions are a reference to Chris's desire for a sweetheart merely of the opposite ''gender''. ("Gender" is a psychological phenomenon, which leaves the field wide open for [[Mailbag 27|MTF transsexuals]].) As such, she could very well be a trans-woman. Others speculate that she has man shoulders because [[Chris and art|Chris can't draw.]]

Lovely and Chris are supposedly married by 2015. Considering the way things are going, it's doubtful he'll get married by then. We all know that the man is going to die a bachelor who [[Virgin with rage#No longer a virgin (No word on the rage)|buys prostitutes.]]

In his [[CWCipedia]] page devoted to her, Chris denies that Lovely Weather is not [[The Wallflower]] as a pseudonym. Given his [[Lies|past record of honesty]], the claim is doubtful at best.

==Chris and time travel==
[[Image:CWCtothefuture.jpg|260px|thumb|left|What he didn't mention is that he went back to 1955 and made out with [[Barbara|his mother]].]]

Chris is a hormone-addled goofball, so it's not likely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. He simply sees the meeting with Lovely as a chance for his fictional avatar to get his rocks off. The implications that he has ignored are significant.

For instance, the comic book Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it - in fact, he takes time to set their "fated first date" before attacking [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent]]. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to decisions or result in events that will change the course of his life that produced that outcome. (Unless, of course, one subscribes to the belief that Chris's marriage with Lovely was foreordained, and his time travel jaunt was already one piece of the puzzle that lead to it.)

Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past-self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.

There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright rape, then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.

Listen closely, and you can hear H.G. Wells and William Hartnell spinning in their graves.

==Rape by deception?==
Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else. In the [[mailbag]]s, Chris explains that since she technically initiated the sex, [[Kacey Phone Call|despite being tricked about who it was]], it both wasn't rape and was morally right and just.

==Meg Griffin affair==

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only pages after traveling to the future and raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with Meg Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'' fame. Chris asks her if Seth has permitted her to turn eighteen yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_40 Chris and Meg]</ref> with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). [[Blanca|Once]] [[PandaHalo|again]], Chris cheats on his significant others, even completely fictional ones.

She later reveals herself to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[List of Chris's sweethearts]]
*[[Chris and Sex]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]]
*[[Chloe]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]][[Category:Sweethearts]][[Category:Characters]]

Chris and sex

2012-06-09T03:40:09Z

Avenger:

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex outside of his single sexual experience he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology; for example, in [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]] it's mentioned that Chris told Ivy that he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!" While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

According to [[Calling_Out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|a video]] published in [[August 2011]], Chris enjoys female domination (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]).

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass Debating|masturbatorily]].<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planed on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals.

Despite his statements against bestiality, Chris stated that he would be willing to have sex with a female dog (because he's not a homo) for [[PandaHalo]] and specified that he'd prefer a Collie.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLNUncC6Nm8&list=UUpZbAoE-X3DdRo0jxIQsMaw&index=6&feature=plpp_video</ref>

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion abound that this was due to the help of a hooker ([[List of Chris's Lies|presuming Chris's story is true]]). Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref>

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]] (in which it was revealed that Chris did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest"). While he had shown aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year afterwards Chris's views on subject of incest became much more condemning. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] asked Chris if he thinks it's ok that his [[Virginia|home state]] allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris was furious for reading a supposed slander against The Great State of Virginia and wrote that "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref>

When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationship were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible.<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, as is evident from the [[IRC (21 January 2009)|chat]] in which he was informed of the rape of [[PandaHalo]] and her ensuing impregnation. Chris's response to hearing about his girlfriend's traumatic ordeal was extremely nonchalant, and at one point during the chat he even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her [[Clyde Cash|rapist]], whom Chris had described as a "good man" for his regret over raping Panda and for his willingness to take care of the rape child. Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, Chris would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref>

Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies, but due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] this scenario is highly unlikely. Still, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

Facebook

2012-04-07T23:38:37Z

Avenger: /* I am a good man */

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 02 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]].

By 14 February 2012, Chris had turned his Facebook account to private and unfindable unless you were already a "friend".

On 31 [[March 2012|March]]/1 [[April 2012]] Chris made another address to trolls.

==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm
 
There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.
 
Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
</blockquote>

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm
 
When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
</blockquote>

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===
<blockquote>
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm
 
Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.
 
Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
</blockquote>

===What I am looking for in a woman===
<blockquote>
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am
 
**Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
 
</blockquote>

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===
<blockquote>
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm
 
'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
</blockquote>

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===
<blockquote>
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm
 
I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
</blockquote>

===An Open Note===
<blockquote>
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm
 
I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]
 
The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.
 
You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests
File:Chfb1.png| February leak part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak part 4
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Chris and religion

2012-04-03T00:24:50Z

Avenger:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1 Cor 13:11,<ref>[http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm]</ref> on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris not understanding how professional help works<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion; like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[sex]], [[Anger|hatred]], [[Race|intolerance]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was; under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Also, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]], also in this pic, BLASPHEMY!]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[ego]]tism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Mohammad Reza Pahlavi|Shah of Iran]], Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Daughter|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Breaking all Ten Commandments===

The Ten Commandments are the foundation of all the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam). Chris isn't a strict follower of these either.

# '''"Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
# '''"Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
# '''"Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
# '''"Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
# '''"Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] [[Bob walks in|that]] [[Tomgirl|upset]] his father.
# '''"Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
# '''"Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
# '''"Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
# '''"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
# '''"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian churches===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons.

[[Angelica]] is a [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is still a huge slut without any opposition to premarital sex.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapprove of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref>

===Atheism===
[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]].

In [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a straw man fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and religion

2012-04-03T00:23:35Z

Avenger:

Examples of Chris's Ego

2012-03-01T02:25:19Z

Avenger:

Here's an exhaustive list of '''Examples of Chris's Ego''' in the real world and in the Sonichu Comic. The list is so long that it warrants its own page!

==In the real world==

===School===
*[[Manchester High School]] - When Chris graduated from high school, he actually cried because he believed that he deserved a number of artistic awards for his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. By his own admission, he also made a scene and ran out after getting his diploma, eventually having to be consoled by both his [[mother]] and gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen]].
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] - After being expelled for his [[Chris and anger|appalling behavior]] by the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Student's Dean]], Chris felt the need to write to the Then-Standing President of the United-States, [[George W. Bush]]. The idea that a standing President would be willing to use his clout to reverse a local community college's administrative decision is ludicrous at best.

===Public places===
*[[Wal-Mart]] - When asked to cease his solicitation, Chris refused to budge, rambled on in some stupid speech, and actually ''ran''. He would do this again in a [[Target]] soon after, only to be arrested in the process.
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] - Chris acted in this store as if he owned the place. He was rude with the patrons, abused the access to a flat-screen TV, and was an all-around pain for the manager, [[Michael Snyder]]. After many antics, he was banned from the place. Chris filmed a half-assed [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apology]] nine months later, not because he was sorry for his actions, but because the store was the only place that had [[Eye of Judgement]] cards. Chris has also attempted to incite harassment of employees of the store (using the very fans he had chastised mere weeks earlier), simply because Michael had refused to remove his ban.
*[[McIntire Park]] - During a newscast, Chris happened to pass by a cameraman who was videotaping someone being interviewed. As he did, he flashed his Sonichu [[medallion]] as if to say "Hey, look at me! I'm more important!" Sometime later, he appeared in a town hall meeting over the park itself. He flashed his shitty Sonichu and Rosechu drawing in a bizarre attempt to save it, then tried to interrupt the proceedings with a speech about how he didn't want to pay for a YMCA membership when the recognized speaker made the mistake of referring to him. He was no doubt trying to gain sympathy by noting that it would make an ostensible retard sad to build the YMCA. Chris also requested that the wave pool be deeper, most likely meaning the wave pool was not meant to be used by a full grown adult. Chris was promptly and thankfully shot down.

===With people===
*[[Sarah Hammer]] - One of Chris's first crushes, Chris made the small booklet ''[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]'' in an attempt to win her over on her 21st birthday. The booklet was more a major ego trip, talking more about him and less about her, with the two of them replaced with Sonichu and Rosechu. He later cast her in his Sonichu comic and having her break up with [[Wes Iseli]] before disposing her when she was married away to [[William Spicer]].
*[[Megan Schroeder]] - For the longest time, Chris actually believed that he and Megan were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even attacked someone for getting near Megan. When the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] picture was discovered, Chris actually thought that the reason she was upset was because she wasn't used to sexual things. He then tried to make Megan believe that the bullying from those amongst [[ED]] was MUCH worse than the fact that he did the picture because he was afraid of trying to rape her. He also insisted that he was under much more emotional pain than she was. Chris would later blame ED for the fact that he lost her friendship, not caring it was his fault in the first place.
*[[10 September 2009]] - Chris, in his ever-growing paranoia, automatically assumes that a possible interview from Veronica Belmont of ''PlayStation Magazine Europe'' is a troll because the person didn't leave a return number, demanding that if she truly wanted to interview him, she should come ''personally'' to his house... then starts trying to suck up to her just in case it wasn't a troll.
*[[Rejected Mailbag]] - Chris hates being proven wrong, especially about Asperger's and autism being part of the same spectrum. He also takes issue with letters that point out the flaws in his comic pages, which is interesting considering he has no problem telling fans about the flaws he finds in their fan art, calling it "constructive criticism". He's gone from simply ignoring people correcting his mistake to placing these "offending" letters in his rejected mailbag. Even more, when any of the letters mention the similarities between autism and Aspergers, he tosses them into his "Autism Mailbag" and whenever someone tries to mention anything else connected to his past, he automatically goes into a "mental block" and refuses to go any further. On 5 December 2009, Chris wrote a long essay that made little sense, which mainly consisted of him bawwwing that he was a unique and special snowflake, and that Aspies are faking fakers that take away the specialness of his autism. Despite autism and Asperger's existing in the populace long before he was born, and Chris being a [[virgin with rage]], Chris also states that he [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"...Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People".]]
*[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|The Sonichu promotional video]] - In the Part 2 of his video, Chris shows to the camera an elegant drawing of the two main heroes of the comic book made by a fan called Allie. Not only does he proceed to comment "Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her," he presents an actual, sub-par copy of the drawing made by himself as a better version.
*[[Chris and Copyright|Copyright claim against Vivian Gee]] - For the most part, Chris ignored the [[Audiobooks]] that were being made out of his comics. However, when he found out that they were being "sold", Chris issued [[Death threats]] against [[Vivian Gee]], threatening to kill her AND [[Clyde Cash|her family]]. He then released his own [[Official Videobooks]], which he believed to be better than Vivian's. These consisted of holding up the TRUE and ORIGINAL pages up to a camera and waving the page around as he stumbled through the dialogue, made childish sound effects, and failed to explain what was actually going on. He excused himself a month later and asked for a quote of 25% out of the donations she received for her hard work. It is worth mentioning that the excuse AND the demand for a share of the profits were in the same e-mail, separated by a single dot.
*[[Jimmy Hill]], [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - While Chris is more than willing to declare Sonichu as a parody so he can make his multimedia franchise, he blows his stack whenever someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu and himself. He threatened "legal action" during the Jimmy Hill saga and went all out to prove himself the True and Honest Chris when Liquid showed up. During the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], when Liquid threatened to go to the police over the Gun Comic, Chris was certain that the police would be more concerned over the fact that someone was impersonating him than the fact that he threatened to murder him. When Alec Benson Leary's Asperchu began to be more popular than Sonichu, Chris decided to pull a number of things, including a moment of "pot calling the kettle black" in which he decries Asperchu as crappy because it was computer drawn.
*[[Father Call]] - When talking to [[Kacey]]'s father, his ego clashed horribly against Matt's attempts to get through to his head, comparing losing a loved one to Chris losing his [[Patti|dog]], declaring that mowing the lawn (a menial task at that) was tough work and utterly missing various cues to people's hardships, such as when Matt told him that his mother pulled weeds while inflicted with arthritis. Chris could only apologize for her having arthritis, not be impressed by the feat.
*[[Evan]] - When Evan created the character "Simonchu" as a joke, Chris took it, turned it into a girl and renamed her "[[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]". When Evan got tired of Chris using the monstrosity, he demanded that he kill her. Chris has refused many times but in [[Mailbag 43#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]] took the cake: he told Evan, in detail, how his Simonchu would try to take back Simonla, how Wild Sonichu would defend and defeat Simonchu and Simonla would return to Evan's "ECGVille" and say that she didn't want to come back, all under Chris's GDC ("Great Director Chandler") powers.
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] - Chris was convinced that Miyamoto, who is a world-famous video game designer and creator of beloved and legendary icons like Mario and Zelda, would not only be honored to meet him, but in fact even ''more'' honored to meet Chris than Chris would be to meet him. Then, even after having his game proposal rejected by Miyamoto, Chris still remained convinced that Miyamoto was only "holding out on [him]" and would surely accept his offer in the near future.
*[[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - Chris loves to hold some form of superiority over people he doesn't like, and the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|calls Alec made]] to Chris are great examples. Chris calls Alec's art "crappy" several times, his reasoning being that it is drawn with a tablet, and doesn't have the "character" that his own pencil-and-paper methods apparently convey. He also tells Alec he is "obviously naïve" because he ''doesn't'' believe that cartoon and comic book characters have real feelings and hasn't been deceived countless times by trolls, and implies that he thinks Alec is pathetic in a rather snide tone of voice, despite having no real reasons to back this up. Despite Alec actually being genial to him during the first few calls, Chris attempts to insult and demean him anyway, and acts like a child being scorned when Alec inevitably becomes angered by this. In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|one call]], Chris actually has the balls to tell Alec that there was a price to pay for making him kill off Simonla - Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao's deaths in the comic.
*[[Bob Chandler]] - On 01 [[March 2010]], Chris [[twitter|tweeted]] the sad news that Bob Chandler, Chris's father, was hospitalized with a life-threatening heart condition. Instead of asking for prayers, like many [[Chris and religion|Christians]] do, or putting his comic on hold, he whined about the [[stress]] it caused him and talked about the newest dates for release of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu 11]]. The next day, he released [[02 March 2010|two]] [[Surfshack Tito|videos]]. Neither had any info on or mention of his father or his condition. He didn't even update [[CWCipedia|his website]] or his [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|blog]] with the sad news. Here's the sum of all the love and concern Chris expressed for his Dad: one and a half lines of the 11 tweets he sent that afternoon.<ref>[http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu Chris's Twitter]</ref>
*[[Fans]] - Ever since day one, Chris has treated his fanbase like shit. He insulted one of the few fans he had, shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever" whenever a fan tells him they were going to leave, and then he expects them to come to his aid whenever it's necessary. When Chris lost his latest [[gal-pal]] due to troll interference, not only did he attack the trolls, he also attacked his fans, claiming that they have no life of their own and comparing them to Mary Lee Walsh in trying to stop him from finding a sweetheart. Hilariously, Chris thinks that he has over a billion fans. Let's put this into perspective: The internet has close to ''two billion users''. Chris thinks he has half of them.
*[[The Wallflower]] - The Wallflower was a woman Chris hung out with outside of the Young Adult Social Group. In an article in the CWCipedia, Chris shoves the blame on The Wallflower herself, saying that she should never have had a Facebook page or Fanfiction.net page and that, because she refuses to give ''him'' an apology for this, despite the fact it should be ''him'' to ''her'', she will forever hold the guilt of breaking his heart. In addition, Chris claims that the two of them had "exchanged DNA" at the movies and that she was his girlfriend in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"C-Ya Later" video]], when in reality, they were never more than friends. A recent video shows that he ''still'' thinks she was his girlfriend and he still hasn't let go of her.
*[[Trolls]] - One of the things that has enraged even casual Christorians is his smugness towards even his trolls. In Chris's own mind, he has came up with the image that they are actually [[homos]]exual [[niggos|blacks]] who are jealous of his work and are slowly becoming autistic by staying on the computer. Furthermore, he has arrived at the belief that they are only jealous of his material goods.
*[[Lars]] - Even though Chris has been known for the longest time to berate [[JERKS|most other males]] for taking all of the [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]s and leaving none for him, he was more than happy to taunt Lars like a little kid about his breakup with [[Jackie]], acting like he is actually proud of taking her away from him (With liberal use of [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|racist terms]]) and threatening to [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|to kill him]] should he say anything about it. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Now there's something to think about]]. However, it should be noted that this [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|isn't the first time]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|he has done this]].
*[[Love Quest]] - A recurring requirement for potential [[boyfriend-free girl]]s, established most notably on his [[attraction sign]]s and in his [[Sonichu's_News_Dash]], is that they be age 18-[Chris's current age]. In the latter, he goes as far as to specify "18-21 years of age (18-22 as of February 24, 2004[the date on which Chris turned 22])", demonstrating that although he expects 18 year old girls to be interested in him regardless of his age, anyone so much as a ''day'' older than Chris doesn't meet his standards. Also, Chris has stated he would not date a girl with autism or any other mental disabilities, yet expects a woman to accept an autistic manchild like himself.
*[[Jackie]] - Not even his [[sweetheart]] is safe from the ego. In the final e-mail exchanges<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]], [[Jackie E-mails 22]] and [[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref> between the two, Jackie, quite accurately, pointed out many of Chris's flaws, also taking the time to rationally explain what he was doing wrong and what he could do to fix things. However, Chris took it the wrong way, claiming that she was insulting him and [[Kick the Autistic|hating]] him by pointing out his flaws, believing himself to be perfect. It remains to be seen whether this has ruined their relationship, but from what we can see, it has.
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] - The latest of the many trolls to come after Chris, Chris's ego has ramped up incredibly after [[Calling Out|his return to the internet]]. In his first video in eight months, Chris revealed that he had dox on him and was pretty much blackmailing him to do certain things or he'd reveal those dox. Chris's demands were for him to apologize to Sony for hacking the Playstation Network (when it was other people entirely), apologize to The Wallflower for breaking her and Chris up (when it was her finding out about how sick Chris was that ended their ''friendship'', not ''relationship'' - something he never had), to pay him $1000 dollars (probably to pay for the [[PS3]] that ''he destroyed'') and to remove everything he added to the [[CWCki]] (despite the fact that anyone with half a brain could easily put back up)

===Online===
*[[CWC's Second Message]] - In what would be his opening attack on trying to get the trolls to remove his page following losing Megan, Chris's opening words, amazingly, were:
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.}}
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]] - Another shining example of Chris's ego in video form: Chris expects, and even '''demands''', respect from everybody, even though Chris has never shown anybody else any kind of respect. Plus, considering all of the things he's done: adding people to his comic so that he can beat them up, [[mass debating]] on camera, discriminating against others because of [[niggos|race]], [[JERKS|gender]], and [[homos|sexual orientation]], spending taxpayer money on [[Kimmi|sex toys]] and [[PS3|video games]], uploading poorly-drawn [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|pictures]] of himself fingering [[Megan]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and then blaming them for her breaking up with him; he has never done anything to warrant the respect of '''anyone'''.
*[[LittleBigPlanet]] - When Chris had shown up on LBP community and posted videos addressed to them, he once again said people "should know him by now". He immediately assumed people would praise him for his levels, especially the "Collector's Case", which he thought was the most original LBP level idea ''ever.''
*[[For G4's Web Soup|Web Soup]] - When Chris learned that one of his videos was featured on an episode, he took it as a good thing, not realizing that the show made fun of people on the Internet.
*[[Sonichu's Edge|Chris]] [[CWCFighter|and]] [[51 50|exercise]] - Many times, Chris has shown his attempts at exercising or performing some sort of strenuous feat. He considered [[Power|lifting up a chair]] to be a great feat of strength, thought that lifting two 12-pack boxes was akin to lifting two 50-pound weights, and even showed his "amazing" Parkay skills.
*[[Chris and Wikipedia|Chris and famous people]] - Chris has compared himself to [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo Buonarotti]] in artistic ability. He has also compared himself in ability or personality to President [[Barack Obama]], [[SingStar Challenge|Frank Sinatra]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Bing Crosby]], [[Red Skelton]], Dick van Dyke, [[I Love Lucy|Ricky Ricardo]], and Jaleel White, Who voiced Sonic the Hedgehog in the original three Sonic cartoons. He has also compared himself to many fictional characters such as [[Transformers|Optimus Prime]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]], Homer Simpson, and [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]. Since free-riding on someone else's talents is nothing new for Chris, he saw no issue into incorporating known people in [[Chandler Family Tree|his family tree]]. This is how [[Anne Boleyn]], [[Daniel Weston]] and an unknown [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee fellow]] appeared in his ancestry for no logical reason whatsoever. He pushed the audacity to edit many [[Wikipedia]] pages to validate his hubris. All entries have been redacted and his account was blocked.
*[[Chris E-Mails]] - Chris's massive ego manifests itself eagerly through his correspondence with other people. For example, he e-mailed the O'Reilly Factor, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News at least twice, telling them about his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Not only did he outright expect them to report on it and give it extensive television coverage, but he expected the FBI (which he also believed was apparently part of the crew for the news shows) to go after Jason Kendrick Howell. Other examples include that while he apologized to Megan for drawing [[shecameforcwc.jpg]], he told her that she owed him money, and that he tried to coax [[Anna McLerran]] and Megan into vandalizing his ED page for him. He also believed that people thought their ranking on his [[Scale of Respect]] was of the utmost importance, as illustrated by his correspondence with Mary Lee Walsh.
*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)|Chris and his ED Page]] - Since Chris is a known narcissistic loon, he never liked mirrors of any kind. When the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|nice folks]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] found him, they couldn't resist the urge to satirize his own existence. Said article turned into a circus whereby [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|he tried to retract, modify, erase]], and even supply the page with [[shecameforcwc.jpg|new]] [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|material]]. In 17 [[December 2009]], he went as far as copying the main article page out of ED and edited out at his convenience.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Chris_chan]</ref>
*[[CWCipedia|Chris and his own webpage]] - When Chris was given his own webpage, he found himself bombarded with gay ads, all paid for by [[Jack Thaddeus]]. After dealing with this for months on end, Chris finally had enough and proclaimed that he wrote to currently-standing President Barack Obama in an attempt to make gay ads illegal, despite the fact that this kind of ad is still protected under free speech and even if he got the letter, there's a slim (read: zero) chance that Obama will actually listen to his whiny, fat ass. While addressing the matter, Chris proclaims himself ''the captain of this boat'' and says that without him, CWCipedia would not exist, implying that he does all the hard work on the website, ignoring all of the Sysop's efforts. In fact, CWCipedia was a privilege given to Chris and not at all something that he came up with. Chris has taken this to an absolute extreme, going as far as to suggest that he is the "Captain" of CWCipedia.
*[[Sonichu Forum|Chris and the Sonichu Forum]] - When Chris discovered a troll site filed with people pretending to be Sonichu fans, he used it to its maximum possible extent. The notorious [[Mailbag 50]] was made using hand-picked posts from the forum, selected for their copious amounts of ass-kissing. When one troll suggested that Chris [[Sonichu Forum#Chris doesn't own a mirror|wasn't much of a catch IRL]], Chris responded with anger, demanding to know what could possibly make them think that he was anything less than awesome.
*[[CWCki|Chris and the CWCki]] - On 10 March 2010, Chris ended up discovering the CWCki due to the fiasco that lead to his breakup with [[The Wallflower]]. He demanded that all pages concerning him, his family and friends be altered or [[death threats|there would be trouble.]] Noticing the Wallflower's page altered, he took credit for it, not realizing that she had demanded it much earlier and had nothing to do with his earlier rant.
*[[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet]] - No fewer than ''six times'', Chris has boldly claimed that he was "distancing himself from the Internet" and that the only way he would be seen would be outside. However Chris has always returned, anywhere from 36 hours to eight months after making this bold claim. In a hypocritical sense, Chris hasn't left the Internet - he's left the parts that he doesn't like anymore.
*[[Flipnote Hatena]] - After "distancing himself from the Internet", Chris decided to bide his time on Flipnote Hatena, a website that allows him to post animated creations from the Nintendo DSi program Flipnote Studio. So far, Chris has used it to spread his word over how to deal with trolls by butchering a humorous music video, thinking its creator was thinking the same thing he was, and by creating a set of "tags", listing out a bunch of lies. At the end of [[An Ol' Classic Dream]], he demands that his brainwashed, obedient fanbase give him 5 million stars in exchange for an uncensored version of the already raunchy video. When mods took down his flipnotes, Chris would put them back on, disable comments on his page, then re-allow them, and post a flipnote that should have been him apologizing for doing so, but talked more about the trolls and his "Internet Rep" than an actual apology.
*[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|Trollbusters]] - After returning to the Internet, Chris comes up with the idea for a "Trollbusters" group, having made shirts and cars on [[ModNation Racers]]. All of this was done so he can make the Internet safe for himself. Searches through Google though, reveal that there have been other Trollbuster attempts in the past by other people and, most likely like this one, were doomed to [[fail]].
* [[Calling Out]] - In Chris's first video since he "left" the Internet, he just had to reintroduce himself to others, almost copying word for word the same thing he said when first began his attack on the trolls. As well, he stood to reveal that the Playstation Network hackings weren't the work of a series of hackers, but by Surfshack Tito himself.

===Contests===
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] - In an attempt to win a contest involving the animated avian lawyer, Chris went to great lengths to talk about himself, his rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Sonichu]], but very, ''very'' little about Birdman himself.
*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] - After losing the contest to [[Adam Stackhouse]], Chris would have a major hissy-fit over the loss, proclaiming even the slightest mistake as cheating, despite the fact that Chris himself had broken numerous rules in the process. Even worse, he attempted to fabricate the PlayStation webpage to show that he himself had won and not Adam.
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] - After [[trolls]] caused Chris to win the contest in a misguided attempt to troll the entire gaming community, Chris vowed to spend his winnings (a $400 USD gift card) with his church. Instead, he barely spent half of it towards the church, taking the rest (approximately over 200 dollars) for himself.

===Other===
*[[Mumble 3]] - While talking to Clyde, Chris tells him that the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he has so many awesome skills, he just can't choose one.
*[[Mumble 4]] - When Clyde asks Chris what kind of job he thinks he's qualified for, Chris says, "If anything, I'm overqualified...[for] every type of job available!"
*[[Chris and Health]] - Chris hates to be called fat. Deep in his mind, he honestly thinks he's the same somewhat skinny child he was ten years ago, despite the fact that he has a gut and his hairline's retreating at an alarming rate. While he refuses to accept his baldness, he actually is claiming to be working on his gut. Beyond that, he refuses ''professional'' psychological help and honestly believes stuff such as autism and homosexuality are easily caught diseases.
*[[Homos]]exuality - Given his passion for STAYING STRAIGHT, in [[Kacey Call 22]], Chris actually seems bemused by the idea that gay men don't find him attractive enough to "lure off the straight path."
*[[CWC Blog#7 January 2010|His Birthday]] - Chris feels that his birthdate (24 February) should be a [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|national holiday]], a "Second Day of Love" for [[Chris and his Ego|no valid reason whatsoever]].
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|His Church]] - In a recent [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|call to arms against Asperchu]], Chris reveals that he believes he can use his current congregation as a personal army.
*[[Copyright|His copyright]] - If there is one thing Chris takes pride in, it's his "official" Sonichu copyright. With this, he feels as if he can actually make his multimedia empire with no one to stop him. When he first got the paperwork, he boasted it not even a day after he lost Kacey to Liquid Chris, more or less telling her she got stuck with a loser. He also attempted to set up a bunch of videos trying to sell Sonichu to other companies. In his second "I'm leaving the Internet FOREVER" video, he uses the copyright again to boast that he has won over the trolls.
* [[Car Pranks|His answering machine]] - When a number of trolls attempted to call Chris over a Craigslist listing of his car, one of the calls got to his answering machine. The recorded message says that his lawyers and a doctor of some sort advise him not to take any interviews due to too much information being leaked, then calls the trolls "trollin' stupid."
* [[100 2178|Greene County School Board]] - In one video, Chris proclaims that the Greene County School Board, who sought to help Chris when he was younger, initiated a massive conspiracy against him in order to keep him in his "autistic shell". This also included paying off a Realtor to keep their house from being sold and paying off Michael Snyder to keep him out of the GAMe PLACe.
*In a [[Media:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg|one-page spread]] designed to spread awareness of the victims of the earthquake in Haiti (and likely done only in response to a [[:File:Haitihelp.JPG|similar ad]] featuring Asperchu), Chris drew all the human victims being dwarfed by four and a half foot tall hedgehogs. The human children, sitting beside [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|a bunch of furry runts]], are to scale less than a foot tall. Topping it all off was the inclusion of Simonchu in order to spite [[Evan]]. To Chris, it's more important that his (stolen) recolor abominations have more exposure than the people he's trying to help.
*Similarly, the [[:File:Sonichu Rosechu Save McIntire by Cwcipedia.jpg|poster]] ostensibly designed to be a protest sign features the aforementioned recolors more prominently than the [[McIntire Park|message]] of the sign.
*[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] - Much like his lord and master GodJesus, Chris believes he has the power to forgive those who have sinned against him, essentially the opposite of his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack. Apparently, Chris is so arrogant, he thinks he can use his [[Chris and religion|retard magic]] to cleanse the souls of the [[trolls|wicked mortals]] who dare to play [[Kick the Autistic]] instead of worshipping him, and has done so [[One Blessing, and One Curse|on]] [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour|numerous]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|occasions]].
*[[Exposing Jeff]] - Despite acknowledging that Liquid knows three different tongues (in addition to his native English) and how to play the guitar, Chris still says that he can be "so much better".
*[[DivineTrial]] - [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] is put to trial by Chris ([[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as Divine), who acts as a prosecutor, judge, jury and a one man firing squad. Apparently [[PandaHalo|Panda]]'s rape wasn't serious enough to be put into the charges against Clyde, through his various acts of trolling against Chris did.
*[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] - The cover features a picture of Chris with a [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood?|halo]] made mostly out of Pokémon energy symbols floating over his head.

==In the comic==

{{quote|I did an AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB|Chris}}

While [[Issue 0]] and [[Issue 1]] do focus on Sonichu, [[Chris-Chan]] takes over as the main character throughout [[Issue 2]], [[Sonichu 5|Issue 5]], [[Sonichu 6|Issue 6]] and [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as a supporting character, and even when he does appear, he's shouting some retarded praises about Chris. [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]] and [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] see Sonichu taking back his major role as the main character, but he's basically just a Mary-Sue analogy for Chris. The main story arc of [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]] is the resurgence of Chris and his elimination of every enemy he has so far. He also portrays himself as skinny and handsome, although this doesn't happen till said ''Issue 2'', and will pull powers out of his ass. He even makes several episodes that dramatize events he had in real-life, with the extremely self-indulgent fantasies that are described below.

Chris's ego is in full bloom in the comics. The name of the city in which he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon strive to protect is known as [[CWCVille]]. The city's currency is C-Quarters and W-Quarters. One of the major drinks in this city is known as [[CWC Cola]]. The radio station is called "K-CWC"; the hotel is called the "Double CWC"; even his [[Wikipedia:Hyrule|Hyrule]] ripoff is called "[[RuleCWC]]". Basically, everything is named after Chris. The Sonichus and Rosechus he created proclaim him "father". No one in his city cares if he slacks off from his job as Mayor. He even goes so far as to proclaim that there are no elections when he proclaims [[BILLY MAYS]] is NOT the True and Honest mayor of CWCville.

===Instances of Chris's ego in the comics===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|An entire book of Chris hurting people he hates]]
*'''[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]:''' While this is the smallest amount of screen time he's ever had in the comics, he generally steals the scene to himself. Sonichu tries to make a point about how "[[lie|creative]]" the comics are if that, and generally trying to make it seem like he deserves a girlfriend for drawing this retarded piece of [[fail]].
*'''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]:''' Again, Chris's existence in the comics is very minor, confined to Sub-Episodes and a sudden appearance, mocking how ridiculous a singing and dancing [[Robotnik]] is.
*'''[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]:''' His portrayal of [[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wes-Li]] counts, despite not really knowing Chris in [[Chris and Reality|real life]] he still gets portrayed as a villain. He also openly admitted he didn't want Sarah to see anyone else in a text-walling portion of the comic, yet still calls Wes-Li greedy for not wanting to be a part in CWC's retarded conversations. He also draws [[Sarah]] pinning Wes-Li to a tree & breaking up with him, just because she thought Chris being jealous of her was sweet. He is also drawn whining about how he lost Sarah, and essentially tells Wes to "buck up", even though he's the first one to make a scream when he lost a [[Hannah|one-time date]]. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] also appears as a villain.
*'''[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]:''' This issue has a semi-fictionalized account of an incident Chris had with the managers of McDonald's. He was loitering and soliciting, and they threw him out. In his comic book, however, Chris exclaims that the Jerkops are conspiring against him, preventing him from finding true love. He turns into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and defeats them with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who admits he only helped because Chris was his creator.
*'''[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]:''' It's all about Chris here. Sonichu and Rosechu are nowhere to be seen, except for one cameo each in separate sub-episodes. This issue was all about Chris's semi-fictionalized misadventures at Wal-Mart, Target and McDonald's, and pitted him constantly against the Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh, for they dare to interfere with his [[Love Quest]]. Unlike IRL, Chris can (and does) pwn them in the fantasy world of his comics. This issue also includes the account of Chris's encounter with IRL troll [[Hannah]], who raised his [[heart level]] to 100% just to smash it down to 15%.
[[Image:Sammyandchris.jpg|thumb|Chris as he is vs. Chris as he sees himself.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]:''' This issue has Chris write Sarah Hammer out of the comic so he could focus exclusively on [[Megan Schroeder]], the new object of his desire. While Sarah did marry a man named [[William Spicer]], Chris was not present at her wedding, and had never met Spicer, as he was represented in the comic by a generic [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] character. The next episode has Chris fawning over Megan, and she over him. In reality, Megan saw Chris only as a friend, and was constantly rebuffing his advances. The episode features two different endings because Megan either did not like the original ending or objected to being featured in the comic at all.
*'''[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]:''' The [[Patti Chandler]] Memorial Issue, where his dead dog becomes a member of CWCville. In the only other episode in this issue, Chris has [[Bionic]] ask him to create a sweetheart for him, but Chris, being a lazy fuck, hooks him up with Megan's character [[Megagi]]. Chris would later claim Megan's character as his own.
*'''[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]:''' Chris is envious of Bionic's ability to screw Megagi until Megan holds his hand, again implying romance where none exists. This issue contains the stupid time-travel plot where they go back in time to the moment Chris created Bionic, and the scene randomly segues into a [[Family Guy]] style scene he gives Seth McFarlane full permission to use (Coincidentally, or not, the first few minutes of the ''Road to Germany'' episode of Family Guy bears a close resemblance to this "skitch"). After Chris gets trapped in the time void, he mixes both fake memories from the comic with real ones, like Megan "dumping" him and his denial of having drawn [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] (he blames it on [[ED]], even though he was the one that drew it and uploaded it onto that site), Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville and her defeat at the hands of the Sonichus and Rosechus, and [[Joshua Martinez]] hooking him up with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. In the other episode, he introduces his Sweetheart-of-the-moment Blanca and her creation [[Jiggliami]], who Chris would later claim as his own, as well as featuring an interview with anti-troll [[Robert Simmons V]] about how awesome Chris is.
[[Image:Momentary Escape.JPG|thumb|Chris rends space time asunder to punch some guy. On the plus side, that does look a little bit like him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]:''' While free of Chris the character, the comic was not free of Chris's warped psyche. He drew a sex scene between Sonichu and Rosechu for no other reason than to draw porn of his characters, and gave a detailed account of their reproductive systems. Remember, Sonichu is supposed to be a children's comic, as Chris has stated numerous times. After having his characters have sex for the fifty billionth time, he inserts the hideous [[Rule 34]] he drew into the storyline by having Rosechu come across it while using the internet. In a blatant display of Mary Sueism, Chris uses Sonichu to comment on his hideous drawings by saying that they are "so lifelike", and he also has Sonichu gag and barf at the sight of fan drawings from Chris's ED page of Rosechu with a "pickle". Next there are multiple (traced) nude images of Rosechu, which the plot indicates is to prove that she doesn't have a "pickle". Later on, after Sonichu and Rosechu storm [[4-cent garbage.com]], which is a thinly veiled portrayal of ED, she strips again and face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the guy who created Chris's ED page, putting him into a state close to death. Even later, all the Rosechus in the comics decide to strip for "[[Women's Rights]]"...well, all except [[Zapina|one underaged one]], who can't strip because of the "[[Chris and sex#pedophilia|dumb laws]]". It must be noted that this entire storyline was a result of Chris being trolled hard by the people over at ED, who drew fan art of Rosechu with a dick to make Chris RAGE...and RAGE he did. An epilogue has former sweetheart [[Sarah Jackson]] killed by [[Optimus Prime]]; another former sweetheart, [[Blanca]], returned to Kentucky and her boyfriend, which makes no fucking sense storyline wise. The truth is that she was a troll and Chris failed at writing her out; a two sentence memorial to [[Ryan Cash]] and a dedication to Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[PandaHalo]].
[[Image:Billboard.JPG|thumb|They're better off without him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]:''' Lacking Sonichu to use as his mouthpiece, Chris invented [[Reginald Sneasel]] to use as his stand-in during the first episode, and Reginald even goes to retarded lengths to break up a romance between [[Punchy]] and [[Layla]] in a similar way that Chris meddled with Wes and Sarah. After Reginald's plan fails, [[Angelica Rosechu]] approaches him, and they quickly jump into the sack together, echoing Chris's own belief that the woman must make the first move, out of pity, and put out as soon as possible. This episode also introduces Chris's retarded [[Dating Education]] concept and applies it to his characters. Chris also inserts his Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[Ivy]] into the comics in a plotline that goes nowhere, and has a thinly-veiled version of former sweetheart Sarah Jackson as the Date Ed teacher. Chris then makes a callous reference to Sarah's death by Optimus Prime via a representation of her sister Rita. When Rita informs the class about her sister's death, the assorted characters appear to not give a fuck, nor do they make any attempt to console the poor grieving woman that is now stuck teaching their class. Also in Sonichu 9, Chris depicts PandaHalo dying in a fire. He seems to think this is a fitting tribute. He also shopped a caricature of himself onto a billboard in the background, with a caption begging him to return to the mayor's office. Recent additions have shown the addition of a Power Rangers team, the CWC-Power Rangers, as well as a gruesome description of Ivy dying by being hanged.
*'''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]''' With Chris back in the saddle, he proceeds with his master plan to get rid of all of those who troubled him in real life. Even worse, he apparently was able to deceive his future wife into think he was his future self and did the nasty with her. On top of this, he proclaims that he helped create the cure for homosexuality and plans to bring about straightness by stealing all those vaccines, bringing them to the present, and distributing them right there! Chris-Chan Sonichu defeats some "devil trolls", but can't resist imitating Zorro and spelling "CWC" in the air with his epic blows and kicks (this could be a trifecta: unoriginal, egotistic, ''and'' physically implausible). As the comic continues, he attacks the 4-cent_garbage HQ, using the characters [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[Beel]] to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being homo trolls who "slander and tarnish an innocent man's good name", then proceeds to make the latter two jump to their deaths, just as he wishes. Even more, he destroys the building, kills about 200 trolls and proclaims that both ED and 4-cent_garbage's websites were lost forever, despite the fact that most websites nowadays have back ups waiting for just such an emergency. Soon after, Magi-Chan returns from the future, reporting that the gay vaccine has/will be proven to be a worldwide success and that [[1982|February 24th]], 2009 will be proclaimed Christian Love Day in his honor. Yes, really. Then Chris immediately manages to top this when his God complex manifests itself in the form of [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Both are portrayed as blatantly messianic figures, especially Ultra Sonichu who works like Chris's version of Jesus who saves [[Asperchu]] characters from "[[Liquid Chris|The False God In Brown Strips]]" and Aspergers by granting them the forgiveness of Chris, which can only be received by praying to him. Chris later denied that he tried to set himself up as God, but at the same time he more than insinuated that he is just as awesome. Later in the issue, as he issues an apology over what he had done concerning Asperchu, he puts Alec, Mao, Evan, and Sean on a mock trial for the murder of Simonla Rosechu, pulls evidence out of their asses and gets them sentenced to death, two of which Chris participates in!
*'''[[Sonichu Special 4]]:''' Chris steals [[Kacey]] from [[Liquid]] for "not treating her right", bursts into the house (note that Kacey doesn't seem to be in any real danger), blows out a disarmed Liquid's kneecaps with a [[Megatron pistol|handgun]], and draws Kacey's military family telling praises about Chris, and generally negative comments towards Liquid. However, Karma would later [[Kacey and Liquid Call|come back to bite him]] after Kacey and Liquid read the strip.

==Christian Love Day==

[[Image:Love-Day.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Magi-Chan]] describes Failmas, and expresses his severe disappointment with a startling lack of accuracy.]]
'''Christian Love Day''' is a proposed holiday mused upon by Chris in the CWC blog entry of 7 January 2010. It made an appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] on the same day. As described in the events of the comics, on 24 February 2009 [[Magi-Chan]] completed his mission of distributing Chris's Gay Vaccine to the world. "[[Chris and religion|Thanks to the blood of Christian Weston Chandler]]," all Homosexuality and, in a startling display of overkill, [[Megan Schroeder|Asexuality]] are eradicated. Chris uses this as an excuse for a second Valentine's Day late in the month. Presumably, the day will be celebrated with unabashed, BUT STRAIGHT, monkey sex.

===Significance===

{{quote|Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, in addition to it being my Birthday. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday.|[[Chris]], in his [[CWC Blog]] for 7 January, 2010}}

Chris bases the holiday not only on his horrifically misguided and disturbing Gay Holocaust, but grants it full significance for being his birthday. Chris actually believes a milestone date in his amateur webcomic should be celebrated worldwide, because he "feels" like it should, especially since it "feels" like a holiday to him, neglecting that everyone tends to view their own birthday as a holiday. He attempts to mask this fact with ill-researched hear-say. The "forgettable" holiday occurring on the 24th is [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|Mexican Flag Day]], celebrated at most with a flag ceremony in elementary schools and maybe a short lecture on the history of the Mexican flag. This is notable for being both a minor, yet momentous holiday, doubly defeating Chris's point. On a historical note, it was the same day the [[Wikipedia:February_24#Events|Nazi Party]] was founded, way back in 1920.

Interesting to note is the celebration of a "man"(child) giving his [[Navy|"blood"]] to "save" the population of the [[CWCville|Earth]] from [[Homosexuality|"damnation"]]. [[Chris and religion|Chris thinks he's Jesus]]. Big surprise.

===The Declaration===
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|250px|True and Original Declaration of the Christian Love Day. Also, notice how he has buttocks on his front.]]
{{quote|Good morning. In less than an hour, Sonichu fans from here will join others from around the world as you will be witnessing the largest personal change in the history of mankind. Mankind...that word should have new meaning for us all today. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it is fate that today is Metsico's flllag day. And we will once again be saluting an image of our freedom. Not just from trolling, loneliness, or persecution, but also from heartbreak. We are fighting for our right to love, to be honest, and when the sun sets today, the twenty-fourth of February will no longer be known as only a Metsican holiday, but as today the Sonichu fans declared what wuv was. We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive, to celebr--today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!|Chris, totally not [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] the movie ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28film%29 Independence Day]''}}

Chris is so engrossed by the idea, that he went as far as [[Christian Love Day (video)|making a video]] for the occasion, asking his army of [[fans]] to celebrate his hubris. To remove any doubt about the issue, he [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|admitted to Alec Benson Leary]] that he does indeed believe he is important enough to have his birthday celebrated across the country. On the other side, he denies ever writing the declaration, claiming a [[Troll|friend]] did it for him, and says he saw the movie ''Independence Day'' only once.

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Sub-Episodes]]

[[Category:Lists]]

Talk:Alex's Lemonade Stand

2012-02-29T22:59:32Z

Avenger: /* Page No Longer Available? */

{{Not A Forum}}
* Are we jumping to conclusions about Chris's motives here? I mean, it sounds like it was heart failure that finished Bob off, but he did say (at least twice IIRC) in the crank calls that he had been diagnosed with and treated for cancer. I could perhaps have bought that Bob was lying to trolls in an attempt to get them to back off out of sympathy, but I can't see him lying to Chris about it also. --[[User:HarryHowler|HarryHowler]] 10:25, 19 February 2012 (PST)

:It was a combination of several factors, and cancer (when it finally kills) can do so by causing heart failure (also by organ failure, blood poisoning, etc.). [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 12:26, 19 February 2012 (PST)

:Bob had heart trouble for a while, and heart failure was the eventual cause of death. We're not really jumping to conclusions as much as pointing out that Chris is wrong, again. He's trying to relate to the cause of ALSF through his father's death, and it may be that Chris really believes his father's death was primarily caused by cancer. In addition, ALS is about helping raise money for childhood cancer. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:33, 19 February 2012 (PST)
:: I looked through all of the IRCs and couldn't find a single one that mentions Bob having cancer or being treated for cancer. There was one prank call I could remember (the one where it's a guy trying to be all nice to Bob and saying he's going to write a paper on him) where BARB is the one to say that Bob is in the hospital for treatment (when asked "treatment for what? cancer?" she doesn't respond and just says he's not there). Other than that: Panda does mention HER father has cancer in the IRC of 02 Jan 2009 and Chris mentions that his father has had 3 or 4 heart attacks and 3 triple bypasses in his life time during IRC of 03 Jan 2009. If anyone can find the IRCs where Chris has stated his father has cancer/had cancer please link. Other than that, I really think the whole "in honor of my father dying of cancer" bit is most likely Chris trying to get attention or he simply doesn't understand why his father died and just said it was cancer. Which, all in all, still doesn't mean anything because, as Anonymax stated, Alex's Lemonade Stand is to raise money for childhood cancer support/research/etc. NONE of that money goes to adults with cancer. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 14:50, 19 February 2012 (PST)
:::[https://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=y-GGSOyCm2k This is the prank call you mentioned,] though it's now set to private. [[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/User:Nullity/PCA|Transcript here.]] According to this, Bob said he had cancer. Whether or not it was true is up for debate, but I don't think there's any good reason to doubt him. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 16:41, 19 February 2012 (PST)
:::: I know this is not a forum, but speculation: CWC is probably doing this because he may have received community service for intentionally hitting Snyder (that is what happened, by the way). It actually seems likely. Explanation: that was Chris' first felony and he has a documented medical condition. Add to this the fact that his defender would likely argue that Chris was under a great deal of stress from the recent death of his father and he lashed out irrationally. The court is more likely to show leniency when the only alternative is to put him in a home. Typically, the court assigns a person doing community service to choose a charity of their choice and volunteer. I can't see Chris out busting his butt for Habitat for Humanity or anything else, so the likelihood of him choosing something that felt relevant to him and his family and finding a way to raise money is high. On the other hand, this may not be sufficient: making a simple donation site is not a calculable expenditure of work. It has no "clock in" and "clock out" time signed by a supervisor, which is what the court looks at to verify that hours of community service are completed. He creates the donation area on someone else's site and he leaves it. We may see many such CWC Community Service projects in the next few months. --[[User:Niggabyte|Niggabyte]] 14:36, 24 February 2012 (PST)
::::* He hasn't been officially found guilty of anything so he can't be punished for anything yet...so no, I do not believe this is any kind of community service. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:57, 24 February 2012 (PST)
== How do we know Chris actually made this? ==

Just wondering, because I really haven't seen any evidence that would lead me to believe Chris actually made it. (I'm not doubting it though.)
*It's linked through his confirmed facebook page--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 19:40, 23 February 2012 (PST)

== Removed comments ==
Does anyone have screencaps? Because some of the comments are being removed. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:KamenRider|KamenRider]] ([[User talk:KamenRider|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/KamenRider|contribs]]) 
: Sure they're not just falling off the page but are still visible [http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/80275/donations here?] --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 10:55, 24 February 2012 (PST)
::Definitely. On that page, the comments have been replaced with "-" [[User:KamenRider|KamenRider]] 11:02, 24 February 2012 (PST)
:::PNG is the preferred format for images on the CWCki, as other formats lose quality, clarity or create files that are too large in size. If you could re-cap the current donations list and save it as a PNG and upload it, we can keep a track of changes. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:15, 24 February 2012 (PST)
::::Reuploaded as .PNG [[User:KamenRider|KamenRider]] 11:31, 24 February 2012 (PST)
::::: Update: Donors page is now gone.[[User:KamenRider|KamenRider]] 11:35, 24 February 2012 (PST)

== Page No Longer Available? ==

I tried to see the page today, and it says that I do not have access. For the sake of accuracy, what was the date that access to the page was limited? 14:59, 29 February 2012 (PST)~Avenger

Talk:Alex's Lemonade Stand

2012-02-29T22:59:10Z

Avenger: /* Page No Longer Available? */ new section

Teenage Dream

2012-02-26T04:14:49Z

Avenger:

{{Honest}}

'''Teenage Dream''' is an audio file of Chris singing [[Wikipedia:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]]'s song "[[Wikipedia:Teenage Dream (Katy Perry song)|Teenage Dream]]", leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. In typical Chris style, he sings tunelessly over the original song (rather than finding a karaoke version).

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Teenage Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRaX8cMkjjc}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Music}}
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

You think I'm pretty

Without any make-up on

You think I'm funny

When I tell the puch line wrong

I know you get me

So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met

[[Lie|I was alright]]

But things were kinda heavy

You brought me to life

Now every February

You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I

We'll be young forever

You make me

Feel like

I'm living a Teenage Dream

The way you turn me on

[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]]

Let's runaway

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

My heart stops

When you look at me

Just one touch

Now baby I believe

This is real

So take a chance

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali

And got drunk on the beach

Got a motel and

Built a floor out of sheets

I finally found you

My missing puzzle piece

I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I

We'll be young forever

You make me

Feel like

I'm living a Teenage Dream

The way you turn me on

[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]]

Let's runaway

And don't ever look back

Don't ever-(Video Cuts off)

==See also==

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Teenage Dream

2012-02-26T04:12:58Z

Avenger:

{{Honest}}

'''Teenage Dream''' is an audio file of Chris singing [[Wikipedia:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]]'s song "[[Wikipedia:Teenage Dream (Katy Perry song)|Teenage Dream]]", leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. In typical Chris style, he sings tunelessly over the original song (rather than finding a karaoke version).

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Teenage Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRaX8cMkjjc}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Music}}
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

You think I'm pretty

Without any make-up on

You think I'm funny

When I tell the puch line wrong

I know you get me

So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met

I was alright

But things were kinda heavy

You brought me to life

Now every February

You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I

We'll be young forever

You make me

Feel like

I'm living a Teenage Dream

The way you turn me on

[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]]

Let's runaway

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

My heart stops

When you look at me

Just one touch

Now baby I believe

This is real

So take a chance

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali

And got drunk on the beach

Got a motel and

Built a floor out of sheets

I finally found you

My missing puzzle piece

I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I

We'll be young forever

You make me

Feel like

I'm living a Teenage Dream

The way you turn me on

[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]]

Let's runaway

And don't ever look back

Don't ever-(Video Cuts off)

==See also==

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Teenage Dream

2012-02-26T04:06:34Z

Avenger:

{{Honest}}

'''Teenage Dream''' is an audio file of Chris singing [[Wikipedia:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]]'s song "[[Wikipedia:Teenage Dream (Katy Perry song)|Teenage Dream]]", leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. In typical Chris style, he sings tunelessly over the original song (rather than finding a karaoke version).

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Teenage Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRaX8cMkjjc}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Music}}
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

You think I'm pretty

Without any make-up on

You think I'm funny

When I tell the puch line wrong

I know you get me

So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met

I was alright

But things were kinda heavy

You brought me to life

Now every February

You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I

We'll be young forever

You make me

Feel like

I'm living a Teenage Dream

The way you turn me on

I can't sleep

Let's runaway

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

My heart stops

When you look at me

Just one touch

Now baby I believe

This is real

So take a chance

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali

And got drunk on the beach

Got a motel and

Built a floor out of sheets

I finally found you

My missing puzzle piece

I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I

We'll be young forever

You make me

Feel like

I'm living a Teenage Dream

The way you turn me on

I can't sleep

Let's runaway

And don't ever look back

Don't ever-(Video Cuts off)

==See also==

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Teenage Dream

2012-02-26T04:03:44Z

Avenger:

{{Honest}}

'''Teenage Dream''' is an audio file of Chris singing [[Wikipedia:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]]'s song "[[Wikipedia:Teenage Dream (Katy Perry song)|Teenage Dream]]", leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. In typical Chris style, he sings tunelessly over the original song (rather than finding a karaoke version).

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Teenage Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRaX8cMkjjc}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Music}}
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

You think I'm pretty

Without any make-up on

You think I'm funny

When I tell the puch line wrong

I know you get me

So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met

I was a wreck

But things were kinda heavy

You brought me to life

Now every February

You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I

We'll be young forever

You make me

Feel like

I'm living a Teenage Dream

The way you turn me on

I can't sleep

Let's runaway

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

My heart stops

When you look at me

Just one touch

Now baby I believe

This is real

So take a chance

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali

And got drunk on the beach

Got a motel and

Built a floor out of sheets

I finally found you

My missing puzzle piece

I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I

We'll be young forever

You make me

Feel like

I'm living a Teenage Dream

The way you turn me on

I can't sleep

Let's runaway

And don't ever look back

Don't ever-(Video Cuts off)

==See also==

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Teenage Dream

2012-02-26T03:59:41Z

Avenger:

{{Honest}}

'''Teenage Dream''' is an audio file of Chris singing [[Wikipedia:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]]'s song "[[Wikipedia:Teenage Dream (Katy Perry song)|Teenage Dream]]", leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. In typical Chris style, he sings tunelessly over the original song (rather than finding a karaoke version).

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Teenage Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRaX8cMkjjc}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Music}}
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

You think I'm pretty
Without any make-up on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the puch line wrong
I know you get me
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a floor out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever-(Video Cuts off)

==See also==

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009

2012-01-05T02:22:06Z

Avenger:

[[Image:Ivy.png|thumb|left|Chris was enraged over the fact that this picture, along with some information about Ivy, was leaked.]]
[[Image:Tard Rage.png|thumb|A short summary of the video.]]

"'''CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009'''" (officially "'''CWC Update!!!!! 03272009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] expresses outrage over the leaking of secret information to a stranger on the internet.

In the video, Chris repeatedly threatens to stop drawing the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and vows to take samples of [[Clyde Cash]]'s handwriting to the [[Jerkops|police]].

{{clear}}

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update! 27 March 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|oUCn5jp2cJI}}
| stardate = 27 [[March 2009]]
| subject = {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House#Outside|Tour of Chris's House - Outside]]
| next = [[Chris Sings Lovin' You#Watch|Chris Sings Lovin' You]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

[''deep breath''] [[Captain's Log]]. I believe it is the 27th.

Maaaaaaajor update. I am SERIOUSLY ticked off right now, because information about [[Ivy|my girlfriend]], even though it was accidentally leaked to a trusted individual, it turns out that that individual POSED as one of my gal pals from [[Manchester High School|high school]].

But anyway, [[Speech impediment|I—apparently my, my sw—my—I—I wi—I swear to God that—I—consi—]]that any—ANY...thing to intrude in my life to make me feel—in my life and within my family... [''balls hand into fist, overcome with rage''] Nnngh! I swear to God, the comic will cease! But also, I swear to God, that I will GO TO [[Jerkops|THE POLICE]] WITH EVERY HAND WRITTEN DOCUMENT THAT WAS SENT TO MY FAMILY! And we have hand written d—we have a [[Chris and English|hand-written... hand-writing]] from [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]. And a typed letter within that envelope that has HIS HANDWRITING on that envelope! I will go to the police; I swear to God, my family and I will go to the police! With all of this information.

So... in my [[Love Quest|romantic life]], and amongst my TRUE [[gal pals]], in my lifetime, and ESPECIALLY my girlfriend:

{{RageQuote|''BACK'' THE FUCK ''OFF!''}}

You back the fuck off. Or... I swear—also... myeah. Ceasing of the comics. I will go to the police! You do not want to get on my bad side AGAIN! OR EVEN WORSE!

{{RageQuote|'''''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I WILL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!''}} '''I WILL ''[[Fat|PAUNCH]]'' HIS LIGHTS OUT!'''

If I ever '''MEET''' that bastard! In ''person''.

But anyway, I'll say it again. LEAVE ME AND MY FRIENDS ''ALONE''!

I will be continuing my comics at the moment. But any FURTHER incident and not only will I STOP the comic, but I WILL go to the police. ALL RIGHT? Back the fuck off.

Have a good day.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Get back Clyde Cash, you don't know me like that!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|x_GG_8LtYYw}}
| Stardate = 28 III 2009
| maker = falsionmkii
| subject =
| type =
| info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Eva Unit Chris Strangles Clyde Cash
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lGnXXTALXzY}}
| stardate = 03 [[April 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/BigBlackPony BigBlackPony]
| subject =
| type =
| info = }}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Tour of Chris's House]]|nextlink=[[Chris Sings Lovin' You]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-03-27]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-27]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-03-27]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-03-27]]