CWCki - User contributions [en]

Laura Beth Dorazio

2016-10-03T05:59:44Z

Axe:

[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|Laura as Chris perceived her.]]
'''Laura Beth Dorazio''' was Chris's first major [[Manchester_High_School|high school]] crush.

Laura was a cheerleader who befriended Chris during his freshman year. He pined after her for about a year. When she asked if Chris was attracted to anyone, he [[autism|nonchalantly told her that he had a crush on her]]. After telling him that she'd think about it for a couple of weeks, she told Chris that she liked him as a friend, and only that. That was essentially the end of their relationship.

Yet Chris continued to think about her. In the summer before his junior year, he depicted her as a character in his [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]] videos as "Racer #16." In his early twenties, with the utter failure of his [[Love Quest]], his mind was drawn back to his high school years and what could have been. He habitually pored over his old yearbooks, looking at pictures of Laura and his other former gal-pals. He included three of her photos in the slideshow on his 2007 [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]].

In a [[DVD Slideshow Transcripts|slideshow note]], he commented that while he had been told that she was a year older than him, "according to the yearbooks, that was a big lie." She had actually skipped a grade "for some odd reason." Given the strict attention Chris gave on his [[Attraction Sign|attraction signs]] to the age of his sweetheart-to-be, it should not be surprising that he would find this detail about Laura important.

In April 2010, long after she had forgotten about him, Chris mentioned Laura on his [[CWCipedia]] page, [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|"Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts."]] He remembered:

{{quotebox|I did not meet her until my Freshman Year at Manchester High (she was a Cheerleader then); she was two grades ahead of me, and apparently she went to Providence Middle and was in the same class as me during my time, but she advanced to High School about 7th Grade. She was a pretty girl; I had a crush on her that one year.}}
[[File:ModNation_MHSCheerleader.jpg|thumb|250px|Still thinking about high school girls in his late 20's.]]
Laura was among the "people I care about" whose information he demanded be removed from the [[CWCki]] on his [[CWC Blog|blog]].

It's likely that Laura was the model for the "MHS Cheerleader" character mod he made in [[ModNation Racers]].

Chris's memories of Laura's routines no doubt influenced his own [[Cheerleader|cheerleader roleplay]].

==In the Comic==

Despite their failure to hook up, Chris considered Laura significant enough to mention in his [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]].

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris describes her as "so fine." He elaborated on this in his [[Sonichu 7 Official Videobook|official videobook]] of this issue by shouting:

{{quote|THERE ARE A LOTTA CUTE GIRLS HERE! Like Laura Beth Dorazio the cheerleaders here [sic]. Mreow! [Creepily] She so fine. [Sing-song] She gunna be MINE. Heh heh!|Chris being a Neanderthal male.}}

In January 2009, when he was in negotiations with [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to turn Sonichu in a video game, he [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] her name to "Laura B. Dorzio."

==See also==
* [[Manchester High School]]
* [[Gal pal]]
* [[Love Quest]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Dorazio, Laura Beth}}

Template:Writings

2016-10-03T05:40:30Z

Axe:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''The Writings of Christian Weston Chandler'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
'''Poetry:'''
"[[Valentines Day Hymn]]" |
"[[For My True Love, I Would…]]" |
"[[Hard Love Quest]]" |
"[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]" |
"[[Saddest Heart in the World]]" |
"[[Song of Christian]]" |
"[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]" |
"[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]" |
"[[PAIN Enduring since October 29, 2013]]"

'''Stories and Tracts:'''
"[[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls]]" |
"[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]" |
"[[My big 18th party]]" |
"[[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)|Bionic the Hedgehog]]" |
"[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]" |
''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' |
"[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" |
"[[Story of My Current Days]]" |
"[[The High School Story]]" |
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" |
[[Chris's Response to the Terrorism Attacks in Paris]]

'''See also:'''
[[Chris and writing]]

|}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's written work. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Christian Weston Chandler

2016-10-02T18:02:24Z

Axe: /* Chris today */

:''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] Christine Weston Chandler [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] Fat-Ass Satan's Agent On Earth [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age {{Age|1982|2|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–present) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-present) Transwoman (2015-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White (1/8th Cherokee)
|-
| '''Height'''
| Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/video game designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) [[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a 34-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|transwoman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by his signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about him]].
==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]

Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified transwoman with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 34 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathing]] regularly, not loitering in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you, using the bathroom if you think you may have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soiled yourself]], and not having your life's mission be to [[Sonic Boom Protests|changing]] a children's character's arms. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Nor has he had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Chris's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] and [[white knights]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to etsy. Nowadays Chris isn't seen wearing his medallions as often, if at all.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.
His adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world he constructed remain very much prominent in his life. Instead, he has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a transwoman.

{{clear}}

== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).
In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a fatass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]].
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.

{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015|2016}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. While no human was seriously harmed, one of the remaining [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions were presumably also destroyed, including his huge record collection.

Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]]
More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.

In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].

As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.

In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.

This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.
In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.

More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women.

{{clear}}

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

In 2016, he filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler."<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-filed-for-a-legal-name-change-update-the-judgement-is-in.20763/</ref>

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.
When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent On Earth".
{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account

==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
<references/>
==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris| ]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]

LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2010

2016-10-02T17:49:33Z

Axe:

{{incomplete}}

This page contains e-mails between Chris and the various Gal Pals played by [[Emily]], from 2010.

==Relationship with the Wallflower==
In this email, Chris -- ever mindful of a woman's right to choose -- considers telling the Wallflower to "put out or shut up."

{{quotebox|Mon, Feb 15, 2010 at 12:17 AM
I was thinking (probably dangerous) further about telling [REDACTED] about splitting the bill or putting out and all. She REALLY is a sweet woman, and telling her something like "put out or shut up", or inferring sex like that, may hurt her feelings or confuse and upset her. I would not want to ruin a good friendship, yet I do want to progress the relationship. Although, there is a chance she may know of sex without love,or sex with like (between friends)... Aaugh! I feel so confused.

Please reply with straightforward advice.

Stay Safe, Christian C.

Or you can suggest it to her subtly... "headache"}}

==A-logging Tito==
{{quotebox|Mon, Mar 15, 2010 at 9:44 PM
I don't think I'll be able to answer your call tonight. I hit the hay at during the 1 AM hour last night, awoke at 9 this morning, and I am feeling sleepy now. Please e-mail me back anything new from you, including any details of new Boy Toy, BTW, a headshot photo of him would be good for the information pool.

My heart still aches; the only thing that's making me even crack a smile is a TV comedy, like "Seinfeld"; I also liked the parody they did in the new "Family Guy" where they played a transition riff from "Seinfeld". Also, I haven't watched it yet, but PSN is offering the Pilot of "Sons of Tucson" for Free (Limited Time). I'm still disappointed that the "Hired Father" is not Jack Black; this guy looks and sounds a LOT like J.B.

Also, I pick up my copy of the Ultimate Edition of God of War III tomorrow; I am fully paid on the item, and I have been looking forward to it for months. It all comes in a hand-crafted replica of Pandora's Box.

I'II TTYTomorrow, or I'll send you another e-mail.

Stay Safe, and please keep me updated on [REDACTED]'s safety, being and all, as well as the building info on the B.T. I'm planning on Snail-Mailing an invitation to your birthday party next month, along with this pen I bought for her (with a built-in laser pointer and flashlight) with hand-painted [REDACTED] name and "TAPS" Logo within the next few days.

Christian.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Mon, Mar 15, 2010 at 10:49PM
I talked with [REDACTED] and that email she sent you is real.}}

{{quotebox|Tue, Mar 16, 2010 at 6:25 AM
I see, so my adversary IS Tito. How about the photo Tito sent me last Tuesday (supposedly of Him and [REDACTED]); is that him for real too? (On a personal thought) And if it really is Tito in that picture, [REDACTED] could have done a LOT BETTER than that Son of a Bitch; he has a belly SOO big, it actually LOOK LIKES HE COULD BE PREGNANT, he is also a really Ugly Sucka.

Good job, and thank you, on that e-mail confirmation. I await further developments on the info collection of that Trollin' Stupid Jackass.

Here's a thought of what I WOULD do to Tito, I would knock him down to the ground, landing on his back, then I would stand on his gut, and make like a log-roller and roll the fat up to his head, and make that fat burst his skull open. I told him that, and the bastard laughed at me in his e-mail reply. What's this world coming to when the GOOD women would leave the Nice Man gets dumped and left behind for the Obnoxious, Pug-Ugly Brutes commonly found in the Low-Rent Districts? Please continue encouraging her to DUMP his Sorry, Fat-Gutted Ass.

I'II TTYL, Stay Safe,

Christian.}}

==Socializing at TGI Friday's==
[[:File:Galpal 100717 - Socializing at Friday's.jpg]]

==Chris, the Relationship Counselor==
{{quoteboxgreen|Fri, Jul 23, 2010 at 8:19 PM
I'll be frank about it. [REDACTED] and I are no longer together. He did the unthinkable and I caught him last night in the bedroom with some Korean hookers. [REDACTED] was there too. I just don't know what to do...I'm just torn right now. I need somebody to talk to right now. I've just been sitting around with a bottle of Jack and Jose Cuervo.

You know what, fuck it all. I'm still going to go to Otakon and I'm
going to have a blast. Who knows, maybe I'll have a little extra fun while I'm there.}}

{{quotebox|Sat, Jul 24, 2010 at 4:57 AM
Damn! I am soo sorry for you; I wish I was up earlier to pick up, but crashed early. The best thing to do at a time like this is to remain calm and sort out the details for yourself to make a sound perception for yourself, followed by a solution.

Let's begin with you filling me in, in your own words, on what perspired. Has anything recently given cause for [REDACTED] to do what he did? Perhaps there was a lack of sexual or lovey-dovey energy between you two mutually; [REDACTED] may have felt a loss of that "Spark". He may have had a hard time getting it up for you, so he sought outside influence to make himself ready for you. I don't know; I'm not [REDACTED].

From my perspective so far, you have had your good feelings for [REDACTED] you felt heavy shock and despair when you found him in the act.

But digress, I have yet for you to fill me in on your perspective.

I do not want you to go to the Otakon feeling very sad and down; I want you to be able to go with a neutral to pleasant feeling. I am concerned of what may happen if you go the way you are feeling; I do not want to see you more hurt or worse.

Also, I recommend counting your blessings; you still have your good health, your family, me as a friend, and you can hang with [REDACTED]. If you wish, I may be able to go with you in his place, with mutual friendship level understanding (no sex or that sort); considering he has already preregistered for the Otakon.

Dearest take your time and tell me your thoughts.

Stay Safe,

Christian.
}}

==MHS Reunion==

{{quotebox|Sun, Aug 22, 2010 at 1:17 PM

I'm sorry. It was a short day for me yesterday; I got up real late in the day, and I did not have much to talk about. :( I felt bad, and ashamed of myself.

Anyway, I just got back from Church; it was good. I suddenly felt the inspiration to get in contact with Mr. Koste (Principal) of Manchester High, so right now I am looking for his email address. I REALLY want this Reunion to Happen. I still have my dreams of being back at M.H.S. taking classes again, and hanging out in my Newberry Towne Home, plus recently I created new mods: Two M.H.S. Basketball Players, a Varsity Cheerleader (all nameless; the
Cheerleader's face was based from old friend Laura Dorazio), myself from 1996 (when both of my eyes were blue) complete with M.H.S. Sweatshirt and my "M.G.R." and Honor Roll Star Pins in the center of my embroided "M"s, a Mod with the M.H.S. Sweatshirt and "M"s (No Pins), and Bionic the Hedgehog. And I created a Manchester High School (Party) Bus, with my initials on the upper back, and underneath a message, "Class of 2000 Reunion Required Now!!!".

So, currently, I am going to PUSH for the Reunion by insisting I talk to Mr. Koste, having him find the C.O.2000 student who put together the Seinor Prom, and getting him/her to put together the Reunion (Hopefully it can be arranged to be held in the M.H.S. Gym).

I'll likely hit the hay early tonight, so I'll TTYTomorrow.

Stay Safe.
Love and Peace,
Christian.
}}

==Modnations game==

{{quotebox|Thu, Aug 26, 2010 at 7:18 PM

Hey. I'm okay. I was just reading another delightful email from Jackie. Plus I was just reading a bit of interesting info on the Forum; one of them possibly getting a job at the local BK, and recognizing the women with Pink Shirts, Long Hair and Pickle Earrings (also the password of "Do you think I'm Fat?" **"Chris is Fat" and tuck hair behind an ear to
reveal earring).

I had another late night; woke up late again. This morning, though, I created a new track; Cwcville 5/5 Beach; it is Awesome; first you're driving through a crowded beach with tents and umbrellas, then fighting a bit of street traffic; a dash through the mall, drift around the Lighthouse and off the cliff and into the Ocean (but not too deep; I have to have the track kept up to a certain level versus the water; otherwise the drivers would drown). You're dodging the other Boats puttering about as you drive through the twists and turns; there's an optional shortcut through the pirate ship wreck. It is Wild, Wet fun on the open seas.

I also put together another track I got from a dream; going uphill a central mountain with ModNation Castle on it with the city surrounding it, and a scenic only view of the ModSpot across from. It's okay; I let the computer autopopulate the track with the gameplay; item pods, devestators, etc.

And I created two Troll Mods (one male and one female), based on the flying little devils which infested my Tripod Site Warehouse in my 10th Book. In the details of each Troll, I added a word of advice in Internet Safety and Prevention of getting Trolled.

And I created a "TrollBusters" Truck; "We're here to Bust the CyberBullying/Trolling Terror around the world." I souped up a garbage truck with radar, foglight and such, and I wrote a message on the back, "CyberBullying is Not Cool!!!" And in the license plate, "Troll And Die." And the TrollBusters name and Logo are on both sides of the truck.

I'll be going out to eat with my family in a bit.

I want to be good back at you, so take tonight and tomorrow night off; don't worry about calling me. You go out to somewhere like the Corner and have some good, safe fun. :) Any new thoughts I have before Saturday, I'll email them to you.

Love and Peace to you.
Stay Safe,
Christian.}}

==Waiting for $9001==
[[:File:Galpal 100907 - Waiting for 9001 dollars.jpg]]

==So many excuses==
[[:File:Galpal 100921 - So many excuses.jpg]]
[[:File:Galpal 100921 - So many excuses2.jpg]]

==Trollin Stupid Pickle-Suited Woman Thief==
[[:File:Galpal 101115 - Trollin Stupid Pickle-Suited Woman Thief.jpg]]

{{collapsible
|Gallery
|<center><gallery>

File:Galpal - Relationship with the Wallflower.jpg
File:Galpal 100315 - A-logging Tito.jpg
File:Galpal 100717 - Socializing at Friday's.jpg
File:Galpal - Chris, the relationship counselor.jpg
File:Galpal 100907 - Waiting for 9001 dollars.jpg
File:Galpal 100921 - So many excuses.jpg
File:Galpal 100921 - So many excuses2.jpg
File:Galpal 101115 - Trollin Stupid Pickle-Suited Woman Thief.jpg
</gallery></center>}}

{{Emails}}
[[Category:E-mails]]

Heterochromia

2012-07-13T05:44:19Z

Axe: /* Instances where Chris has mentioned his heterochromia */

<center>[[Image:Eyes.jpg|850px|EYE SEE YOU]]</center>

{{quote|Chris's eyes are very, VERY slightly different in color. It's nothing you would be able to notice unless he fucking points it out to you...or you just happen to notice small details like that.|[[Emily]]}}

'''[[Wikipedia:Heterochromia|Heterochromia]]''' is a medical condition where the [[Wikipedia:Iris (anatomy)|irises]] are differently colored. There are two kinds: complete and partial. Partial heterochromia is where part of the iris is differently colored from the rest. Chris has complete heterochromia, where one eye is a different color from the other.

Chris claims that although his eyes were originally blue in [[high school]]<ref>[[Blanca Emails, August 2008]]</ref> he contracted pink eye ([[Wikipedia:Conjunctivitis|conjunctivitis]]) in his right eye and the prescribed [[Wikipedia:Eye drop|eye drops]] turned it green. His explanation is almost certainly incorrect - while some medications can cause heterochromia as a side effect, the simple antibiotic or antihistamine eye drops prescribed for conjunctivitis cannot.

It's more likely that the condition is hereditary. In school pictures taken while Chris was very young, close examination reveals that his eyes are different colors. Nevertheless, the pink eye story is one of his favorites when introducing himself to girls.

It is also a prominent, often exaggerated feature of his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic self]]. In reality, Chris's condition isn't particularly noticeable except upon close examination, and the less kind amongst us might presume that he only plays it up for want of any other endearing characteristics. According to eye witnesses (like the above quoted), Chris's eyes are indeed differently colored, but not to the degree Chris describes or draws.

A close examination of Chris's eyes seems to indicate that Chris's "green" eye is actually more of a hazel/greenish shade of blue rather than a distinctly green eye as Chris portrays. It should also be noted that, despite his insistence on pointing out that his eyes are different colors, Chris often mistakenly colors his right eye blue and his left eye green in his comics. Perhaps this is retardation, perhaps it is a symptom of studying himself in the mirror to memorize his appearance,<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> perhaps he doesn't pay too much attention while coloring, perhaps he just doesn't know his left from his right, or perhaps even Chris himself really doesn't notice the difference that much.

==Instances where Chris has mentioned his heterochromia==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"[[CWC Update 13 August 2009|My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green.]]"]]

*He told [[Anna]] about it in [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]].
*He told [[Blanca]] in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris introduces himself with the pink eye anecdote|email]] as a self-introduction.
*He told [[Emily]] on their [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date]].
*[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]].
*He told [[Regina]] in an [[Regina e-mails|email]].

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Honest content]]

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Template:Relics of Fail

2012-07-13T05:00:54Z

Axe:

{{Navbox
|name = Relics of Fail
|title = [[Relics of Fail]]
|group1 = Major Relics
|list1 = [[Amnyfest Ring]] • [[Attraction Sign]] • [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|"CWC on TV" DVD]] • [[Gitar of Fail|Gitar]] • [[Medallions of Fail|Medallions]] • [[PSEye]] • [[Scrapbook of Fail|Scrapbook]]
|group2 = Minor Relics
|list2 = [[Hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|Hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'']] • [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] • [[Pedo-Glasses]] • [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] • [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] • [[Son-Chu]] • [[Muscle bra]]

|group3 = Lesser Relics
|list3 = [[Belt Buckle of Fail|Belt buckle]] • [[Clown Doll]] • [[Li'l Chris]] • [[Megatron pistol]] • [[Plush Breasts|Plush boobs]] • [[Wii Remote of Fail]] • [[Pocket knife]] • [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalker]] • [[PS Move of Fail|PS Move]] • [[PlayStation Vita|PS Vita]]

|group4 = Shrines of Fail
|list4 = [[The Wall of Originals]] ([[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|list]]) • [[Megan Shrine|The Megan Shrine]]

|group5 = The Holy Fails
|list5 = [[Autism papers]] • [[Honor Roll|Transcripts and report cards]]
}}
<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to the [[Relics of Fail]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

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CWCki:Templates

2012-07-13T04:59:10Z

Axe:

This page is designed to help people quickly and effortlessly find the needed template by visually comparing them, instead of clicking on over 9000 links on the [[:Category:Templates]] page. It can also help people who want to create a new template or edit existing ones.

==Information boxes==
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===Infobox===
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{{Infobox Person
| name = Clyde Cash
| image = TheRealClydeCash.jpg|100
| alt =
| caption = Clyde
| birthday = 04 July 1976
| age = 34
| location = [[Molvania]]
| relation = Troll
| saga =
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<pre style="overflow: auto">
{{Infobox Person
| name = Clyde Cash
| image = TheRealClydeCash.jpg|100
| alt =
| caption = Clyde
| birthday = 04 July 1976
| age = 34
| location = [[Molvania]]
| relation = Troll
| saga =
| knownfor =
| nationality =
| education =
| organization =
| influenced =
| notes =
}}</pre>

===In-text disclaimers===
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===Various===
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====[[Template:Fan art|Fan art]]====
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==List containers==
===Chris-related===
====[[Template:CWC on TV|CWC on TV]]====
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====[[Template:CWC-isms|CWC-isms]]====
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====[[Template:CWCverse|CWCverse]]====
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====[[Template:Sweetheart Videos|Sweetheart Videos]]====
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====[[Template:Sweethearts|Sweethearts]]====
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----
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====[[Template:Clyde Saga|Clyde Saga]]====
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====[[Template:The Cwcivil War of 2009|The Cwcivil War of 2009]]====
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009|nocat=true}}
----
===Various===
====[[Template:Succession|Succession]]====
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==Other==
===Notes===
====[[Template:Cite|Cite]]====
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===Various===
====[[Template:Usage|Usage]]====
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====[[Template:Welcome|Welcome]]====
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==See also:==
*[[CWCki:Requested Templates]]
*[[New Templates!]]

[[Category:Templates]]
[[Category:CWCki]]
[[Category:CWCki projects]]

Blog

2012-07-13T04:49:52Z

Axe:

{{dab}}

'''Blog''' may refer to:

* [[CWC's Diary]], 6 January 2004 — 20 July 2005
* [[PSN blogs]], 17 October 2006 — 14 December 2008
* [[Playstation Blog]], 15 June 2007 — 16 March 2010
* [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]], 13 September — 15 October 2008
* [[CWC Blog]], written on the [[CWCipedia]], 24 August 2009 — 4 June 2010

PSN blogs

2012-07-13T04:43:40Z

Axe: /* External links */

{{quote|
If only I could understand Japanese.
|The closest Chris gets to weeaboo territory}}

The '''[[PSN Blogs]]''' are [[Chris|Chris's]] blog posts and his responses to other people's blog posts on the [[PSN]] website from October [[2006]] to December [[2008]]. The posts to read are those concerning [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] in [[July 2007|July]] and [[August 2007]], an example of Chris feeding his own ego and blowing up in a place on the internet with no [[trolls]], where people were actually being nice to him to get him to calm down. His other posts are normal by comparison. As shown in the 14 December entry, Chris [[Chris and English|can't spell]] the name of even his own [[PS3|favorite console]].

GAP stands for Gamer Advisory Panel.

==Personal Information==

{{quotebox|Bio:

I am [[Naive|young at heart]], because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh]], [[Pokemon]], [[Legos]], [[My Little Pony]], and drawing cartoonishly. I am also creator of my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, [[Sonichu]]. I have been drawing and writing comic books, and I've drawn/written quite a few issues so far. I have graduated from [[Manchester High School]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[Piedmont Valley Community College|PVCC]] with two [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] Degrees [[May 2006|May, 2006]]. I am shy, but I would really enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes some of the things I do, with a few opposite traits (excluding [[tobacky|smokers]] and [[alcohol|drunks]]). I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't like to be alone. I really would prefer Person-to-person encounters/chats instead of over the internet, but please feel free to send me a message or comments.
}}

==17 [[October 2006]] 20:21 — Re: Gamer's Day - What Do YOU Want To Know?==

''Backwards Compatibility'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|THE pressing Question on mine and a bunch of other people's minds; Is the PS3 Backwards-Compatable with PS1 and PS2 games?
}}

==17 [[October 2006]] 21:54 — Re: Gap kit/ PSP camera?==

''PSP's Camera is the New EyeToy'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
Or, so I've heard; there's supposedly a PSP version of EyeToy Play (as compared to the original PS2 game).
}}

==29 [[March 2007]] 21:57 — A Few Playstation 3 Thoughts.==

''A Few Playstation 3 Thoughts.'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|I've owned my PS3 for a few weeks now, and I've been Broadbanded for a few days now; I have some thoughts I'd like to share.

First, the [[Guitar Hero]] gameplay... okay, I have a couple of PS2 to PS3 Controller Coverters. I used one to try to play Guitar Hero with my custom painted Guitar controller. Failure followed. Sure, it doesn't have a "PS" button like a Sixaxis controller, nor am I able to assign a controller port to it.

But here's the Idea For SONY; a Playstation 3 Upgrade where from a PS2 Controller (regular or Guitar), LET pressing Select & Start in unison and holding them for 5 Seconds result in what the "PS" button does for the Sixaxis; bringing up the Assignment/Quit Menu.

Another thing I'd like to mention is being able to search for fellow PS3 owners to add to my Friends list. In observation, it appears that to find the friends to add, you have to go online with an online-capable game. Which I understand the upcoming "Home" program will allow for, but similar to a universal Chat Room, an easier method to finding new friends.

Also, talk about the upcoming 80GB system; Sony can sell the new systems. But I would suggest selling the 80GB HDDs individually for those of us current owners of a 60GB (me) or a 20GB. And in that case, there should be an upgrade where our downloaded games and matching data that we get from the Playstation Store can be copied and transferred to the new HDD on a memory stick or something.

Also, I would like to mention the LIMITED typing space for typing an E-Mail from, for example, one's AOL account; I'm typing an E-Mail to a friend of mine, and at the middle of the message... I am interruped with inablity to type anymore. Apparently the limit is the limit of the Typing Space View; fill the block, and that's it. Even when I opened an E-Mail, I was unable to scroll down in the message.

But aside from the quirks and setbacks, I am enjoying the games, downloaded movies, game demos, music, sharing my PSP's Memory Stick Pro Duo content with my PS3 and the Wi-Fi Internet Browsing and shopping at the PSStore.

Thank you.
Chris Chan. PS3 Online ID: Sonichu.
}}

==29 [[March 2007]] 21:29 — Re: 80 GB PS3==

''That's a good idea'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|But in addition to releasing a new PS3 system, they should offer the 80GB HDD by itself for those of us who have a 60 or 20GB system. It leaves a lot more room for downloads from the Playstation Store. :)
}}

==29 [[March 2007]] 21:36 — Re: Sony, Please choose GAP members to beta test Home==

''Yes, Let us Come Home'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|I am new to the Playstation 3 Network area, and I'd like to be able to find those other than myself who are on the PSNetwork without requiring an Online-Capable game (Although the games are totally awesome in their features and graphics).

Chris Chan
}}

==26 [[April 2007]] — Adult Swim... All kids out of the Playstation!==

''Adult Swim... All kids out of the Playstation!'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I am looking forward to the upcoming PS2 & PSP games from [[Adult Swim]] featuring the [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] and [[Harvey Birdman]]. Although the gameplay may or may not be all that and "M" rated, playing as Shake or Birdman will be something totally different that I look forward to enjoying. I wish I could find a screenshot or two to tempt my pallet.
}}

==15 [[June 2007]] 02:47 — Go Puzzle Troubles!!!==

''Go Puzzle Troubles!!!'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I've just download Go Puzzle for my PS3, and on the ONLINE MULTIPLAYER function, while my opponent is able to play on their half, my game CURSOR is unable to move. No matter how much I press my D-Pad or push my Analog Stick, IT WILL NOT MOVE. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!! Also, in the "Lobby", when I am prompted to "X" the "Ready?" icon, I can't seem to be able to, no matter how much I press my "X" button.

WHAT IS THE DEAL?!!! WHY ME?!!!
}}

==15 [[June 2007]] 21:52 — Guitar Hero ROCKABLE on Playstation 3!==

''Guitar Hero ROCKABLE on Playstation 3!'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
After a bunch of months longing to play my Guitar on my PS3 (when I thought I couldn't). I have recently found the ANSWER and SOLUTION...

First, of course, get a PS2 to PS3 Controller Converter. Attach PS2 Guitar to Converter. Insert Guitar Hero 1 or 2, then select the PS2 Disc icon from the XMB with the Sixaxis or Bluetooth remote. JUST AS the screen goes blank, INSERT the Guitar-attached converter into a PS3 USB slot. Then notice the Sixaxis controller detaches itself from the PS3...
DO NOT PRESS THE "PS" BUTTON AT ALL (until you're done playing).

With the Sixaxis unfound wirelessly, the Guitar IS PICKED UP by the PS3 as the DEFAULT controller 1 (if there is a second guitar attached THIS SAME WAY, it will likely get noticed as well).

ROCK ON, ROCKER!

When you're ready to quit the game, DISCONNECT THE GUITAR FIRST, then press the "PS" button on the Sixaxis controller and "Quit Game".

Upon the first Sixaxis Disconnection timing, it may be possible to attach a Dance Pad (Dance Dance Revolution) or Taiko Drum (Taiko Drum Master).

Spread The Word: THE TRULY ROCKIN' PS2 GAMES ARE SOLID-PLAYABLE ON THE PLAYSTATION 3.
}}

==23 [[July 2007]] — PaRappin' For A Vote==

''PaRappin' For A Vote'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
My PaRappa the Rapper Video is Among the Top 10 in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Chop Chop Master Onion Contest]]. It is the Lucky 7th Video with the [[Gitar of Fail|BLUE GUITAR]].

A Vote for my video would be most appreciated, but I'd also like to know how those of you who have viewed it and/or voted for it felt about it.

Thank you for your support for a better future for this AUTISTIC LIFE. :)
}}

''...'' by Elsa43 (GAP Moderator)

{{quotebox2|
I haven't checked out the videos yet... but I will (though I'm not sure if they allow Canadians to vote... I'll have to check that out and see too!) :)
}}

==31 [[July 2007]] 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!==

''Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!'' by Sonichu

''Editor's note: Added [[YouTube]] links to the videos in Chris's review.''

{{quotebox|1=
This IS the last DAY to vote on who will go to Seattle for the Penny Arcade Expo. I would like to take this moment to reflect on the TOP 10.

Number 1:
From [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEmM4JKZK8I CWCSonichu]; **Video LUCKY 7**: Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing Guitar Hero on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave AUTISTIC warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)

Number 2:
From [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA84b9eCyZA adamstackhouse]; Video1: It's okay, if you like someone making the music in the background. It took away pops from the rappin of the two cooks. And adding seafood like in the song to the cake... are you kidding? They should have done it without the noise; it's in da rules. A petite comical moment comes around with an empty plate for no sample and turning off the TV after "thinking about it". I give it 4/5 Stars for moderate effort.

Number 3:
From [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE suryabuchwald]; Video10: The introductory animation is totally uncalled for, and the sharp fangs poping out take away from the potential cuteness. The dude showing off his PS2 controller and using it in time to the background "bum bum" that sounds more like the Super Mario Bros. theme is somewhat clever. But it wasn't all that swift. And purposly rapidly tapping buttons for multi punch, chop, kick, etc. Again, another rule-breaking of music in place of a-capella. And his grin is stupid and ugly. But for the cleverly creative effort, I give it 4/5 Stars.

Number 4:
From [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eawQ2W1jfho Billjones]; Video4: I liked his multi-use of different vehicles; functional and otherwise. The antlers are uncalled for though; too silly. And adding a boombox like as if his a-capella song is being played from it adds a fun boost to the video. His cat was cute with the headphones on him. For his video, I give him 4/5 Stars.

Number 5:
From [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qimacxayOY DSiferd]; Video8: It has good use of being inside a car, but is that an airbag or a pillow? And what is up with the wierd dude with the leaves on his head; and the drills serves no purpose. To better his video, I would suggest keeping all the shots within in his car; not switching it from his living room. But he gave good effort in rappin' a-capella. I give this video 3.5/5 Stars.

Number 6:
From [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMvWWpLsaAc aprelewsky]; Video3: It was cute using the "Guarenteed to Catch Her Heart" screen from the game to introduce the video. But once again, there is someone in the background giving music to this should-be a-capella performance. The two gentlemen, from the way they interact, they remind me of George and Lenny from "Of Mice & Men". Overall, I give this video 3.5/5 Stars.

Number 7:
From [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkwA5qWTc-U ajbrewer]; Video2: Unlike the Topping Lucky 7 Video of CWCSonichu; this one is dropped to this low position for the guy's show-offmanship. Who does he think he is with his sunglasses and hood, Snoop Dog or Elvis? He portrayed a depressed single man living in a one-person apartment. I pity the fool for his show-off act, but I commend him for his effort in his a-capella performance. I give him 3/5 Stars.

Number 8:
From scottteichmer; Video9: I felt his camera was too close in his face for him to be higher in the ranks. Although I liked the humor in the use of his monkey doll, and I commend him for his a-capella performance. The downfall, of course, was being too close to his face. I give him 3/5 Stars.

Number 9:
From [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhD7jqU9oCU chrisadams]; Video6: The downfall of this young man's performance is the static from his singing and breathing; it made me want to turn away, because it was too loud and annoying. But he did what he could; he had his cheat-sheet in his hand and he gave an a-capella performance. I give him 2.5 Stars.

Number 10:
From brudell; Video5: Don't correct me; these dudes had energy and rubber ducks. The only thing that puts him at the bottom was the rediculous way he was dressed up, his hairdo, and the guy was obviously...the opposite of Straight. ):( This is the worst of the bunch. I give him 1 Star for his effort, but that's all.

If the clock hasn't struck Midnight on this July 31, 2007, you can still place your VOTE for any one of the ten. But I HIGHLY reccommend giving it up for the Autistic warrior who gave his effort to get closer to his girlfriend, so he can have a better future for her and himself...

<nowiki>**</nowiki>LUCKY VIDEO NUMBER 7; CWCSonichu**

Thank you for reading this review, and happy voting. :)
}}

==31 [[July 2007]] 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!==

''PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
This IS the last DAY to vote on who will go to Seattle for the Penny Arcade Expo. I would like to take this moment to reflect on the TOP 10.

Number 1:
From CWCSonichu; **Video LUCKY 7**: Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing Guitar Hero on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave AUTISTIC warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)

Number 2:
From adamstackhouse; Video1: It's okay, if you like someone making the music in the background. It took away pops from the rappin of the two cooks. And adding seafood like in the song to the cake... are you kidding? They should have done it without the noise; it's in da rules. A petite comical moment comes around with an empty plate for no sample and turning off the TV after "thinking about it". I give it 4/5 Stars for moderate effort.

Number 3:
From suryabuchwald; Video10: The introductory animation is totally uncalled for, and the sharp fangs poping out take away from the potential cuteness. The dude showing off his PS2 controller and using it in time to the background "bum bum" that sounds more like the Super Mario Bros. theme is somewhat clever. But it wasn't all that swift. And purposly rapidly tapping buttons for multi punch, chop, kick, etc. Again, another rule-breaking of music in place of a-capella. And his grin is stupid and ugly. But for the cleverly creative effort, I give it 4/5 Stars.

Number 4:
From Billjones; Video4: I liked his multi-use of different vehicles; functional and otherwise. The antlers are uncalled for though; too silly. And adding a boombox like as if his a-capella song is being played from it adds a fun boost to the video. His cat was cute with the headphones on him. For his video, I give him 4/5 Stars.

Number 5:
From DSiferd; Video8: It has good use of being inside a car, but is that an airbag or a pillow? And what is up with the wierd dude with the leaves on his head; and the drills serves no purpose. To better his video, I would suggest keeping all the shots within in his car; not switching it from his living room. But he gave good effort in rappin' a-capella. I give this video 3.5/5 Stars.

Number 6:
From aprelewsky; Video3: It was cute using the "Guarenteed to Catch Her Heart" screen from the game to introduce the video. But once again, there is someone in the background giving music to this should-be a-capella performance. The two gentlemen, from the way they interact, they remind me of George and Lenny from "Of Mice & Men". Overall, I give this video 3.5/5 Stars.

Number 7:
From ajbrewer; Video2: Unlike the Topping Lucky 7 Video of CWCSonichu; this one is dropped to this low position for the guy's show-offmanship. Who does he think he is with his sunglasses and hood, Snoop Dog or Elvis? He portrayed a depressed single man living in a one-person apartment. I pity the fool for his show-off act, but I commend him for his effort in his a-capella performance. I give him 3/5 Stars.

Number 8:
From scottteichmer; Video9: I felt his camera was too close in his face for him to be higher in the ranks. Although I liked the humor in the use of his monkey doll, and I commend him for his a-capella performance. The downfall, of course, was being too close to his face. I give him 3/5 Stars.

Number 9:
From chrisadams; Video6: The downfall of this young man's performance is the static from his singing and breathing; it made me want to turn away, because it was too loud and annoying. But he did what he could; he had his cheat-sheet in his hand and he gave an a-capella performance. I give him 2.5 Stars.

Number 10:
From brudell; Video5: Don't correct me; these dudes had energy and rubber ducks. The only thing that puts him at the bottom was the rediculous way he was dressed up, his hairdo, and the guy was obviously...the opposite of Straight. ):( This is the worst of the bunch. I give him 1 Star for his effort, but that's all.

If the clock hasn't struck Midnight on this July 31, 2007, you can still place your VOTE for any one of the ten. But I HIGHLY reccommend giving it up for the Autistic warrior who gave his effort to get closer to his girlfriend, so he can have a better future for her and himself...

<nowiki>**</nowiki>LUCKY VIDEO NUMBER 7; CWCSonichu**

Thank you for reading this review, and happy voting. :)
}}

==31 [[July 2007]] 20:23 — I'm nervously anxious.==

''I'm nervously anxious.'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
The Polls are closed, and I am anxious to find out if I am **Number 1** of the Rappas or not. I REALLY want that trip to Seattle, so I can be with my sweet Megan longer than usual and have fun together. I Luv her so much.

I wish they would have at least left a link for the rules, so I could check the details for comfort. And I wanted to check which PSP (Core, Entertainment, Giga, etc.) is in the grand prize.
}}

''Contest'' by rapt00r

{{quotebox2|
Best of luck!
}}

==1 [[August 2007]] 15:17 — Re: Guitar Hero II on PS3!!!==

''I can help'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
Chris Chan

I have been having fun on my own with Guitar Hero 1 and 2 (Encore soon) on my Playstation 3; the ONLY thing that is reversed is the Strum Bar... When it's strummed UP, it is read as DOWN and vice-versa, and for some reason, it doesn't seem to recognize my Whammy Bar for some reason.

I see is as no big deal during the songplay, but when I'm going up and down the menu, I have to remember the bar is reversed.

REMEMBER to NOT press the PS button after the Sixaxis disconnects itself from the system as the game loads. And be sure to hook the converted guitar AFTER selceting the game disc from the XMB; otherwise it will swerve all the way to the far left of the XMB.

Rock ON!
}}

==1 [[August 2007]] 15:21 — Bladestorm Japan Demo==

''Bladestorm Japan Demo'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I have just downloaded the demo from the Japan Store. Can anyone describe the control functions to me? If only I could understand Japanese.
}}

==4 [[August 2007]] — Adam Stackhouse!!!==

''Adam Stackhouse!!!'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
This is directed mostly to Adam Stackhouse; the S.O.B. who was the Alphabetically First Video in the PaRappa Contest and got WRONGFULLY the big prize. This JERK's Video WAS AGAINST The NO MUSIC RULE!!!! His, Suryabuchwald and Aprelewsky's VIDEO ALL SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISQUALIFIED because they ALL HAD MUSIC!!!!

In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those JERKS in 2nd and 3rd.

I don't have much going on for me really, because I have been the dog in America's favorite game, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]" for my whole life.

I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to DIE and BURN!

As for Adam, if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you Dream Smashing Son of a B****!
}}

''.'' by TonicBH

{{quotebox2|
Sweet jesus mercy criminy, once is enough!

And man. Calling somebody out like that is so not cool. It might help for you to read the site guidelines, hopefully realize your mistake and promptly delete these.
}}

''Whoa!'' by SolidusPrime

{{quotebox2|
If I were you I'd listen to Tonic. This is one post that can easily get you in hot water here!
}}

''Excuse Me'' by Yukino

{{quotebox2|
Sonichu, can you please remove this blog and the other 3 blogs which you posted about this topic? These are extremely pointless posts, and even if you were to keep a cleaned up version of one around, you still only need one blog.

Thank you,
Yukino - GAP Moderator
}}

''Indeed..'' by Defions

{{quotebox2|
As for the winner, I believe the "music" they were using was probably allowed because it sounded more like both of them beat-boxing in the background, not neccesarily music, but I'm not the judge in the contest.

Don't worry, there are plenty more contests coming up, I'm sorry to hear you didn't win, just keep trying.
}}

''Easy Now...'' by pixelsword

{{quotebox2|
The king of Israel answered, "Tell him: 'One who puts on his armor should not boast like one who takes it off.' "

-I Kings 20:11

...Rules I guess were loosely appplied? Anyways, I'd Erase this and just be the bigger man: You'll have another chance and there are other contests. How many contests would you win if you're kicked out of the GAP?
}}

''Dude Chill Out'' by Neo Bahamut Knight

{{quotebox2|
For one this blog is pointless and could get you banned.

Two: If you feel you have a valid complaint I would write those in charge of the contest and demand an appeal or at least a ruling to the validity of the win. Ask them why their video was an acception.

All you are doing is venting and slandering to ppl that you are mad at. If you are in the right then fight back the right way. Not like this. This way is totally pointless.
}}

''I am sure there will be'' by DESTROYER41139

{{quotebox2|
I am sure there will be many more chances to win trips or other prize.No need to call someone out by name and cuss them that is pretty immature of you. Sony must not have thought it was against the rules because they allowed it.
}}

''I Thought It Was Good.'' by Kream85

{{quotebox2|
I really thought it was the best there, you shouldnt attack them.

Its Catchy.
}}

''SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I HAVE DONE MY HOMEWORK, AND THE PLAYSTATION PEOPLE KNOW OF THEIR ERRORS.

JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED, OR I AM NOT AUTISTIC.
}}

''...'' by no_i_am_chuck

{{quotebox2|
''I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN.''

You needn't have written that...it isn't hard to tell from your post.
}}

''. . .'' by bobdblob

{{quotebox2|
Ummm. I'm speechless. All I can say is that this really dosn't belong here.
}}

''OK...'' by no_i_am_chuck

{{quotebox2|
Leave Sonichu alone now.

His time is measured.
}}

''NIAC is correct'' by jonson

{{quotebox2|
Sonichu is on a time out, his other posts are deleted, and we're done here.

'''GAP Admin'''
}}

==4 [[September 2007]] — I've been having trouble connecting to the PSN since I upgraded to 1.92==

''I've been having trouble connecting to the PSN since I upgraded to 1.92'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I've been having trouble connecting to the PSN since I upgraded to 1.92.

On the Internet Connection Test, it WAS able to obtain the IP Address and connect to the internet, but it has failed to connect to the Playstation Network.

Has anyone else had this problem since upgrading to the 1.92 software?

Also, what is the official reading of features for 1.92?

Please reply with comments. Thank You.
}}

==5 [[September 2007]] — Re: PSN log in troubles==

''I have since I've installed the 1.92 Update'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I have been having this problem since I've installed the 1.92 Update. I've tried rebooting my PS3 many times, and I still have the problem. The distance from the router does not matter, I can tell you that.

It's either some PSN maintanence, or there was a humongous Glitch in the 1.92. It really Grinds My Gears.

Chris Chan
}}

==12 [[September 2007]] — PSP Update 3.7==

''PSP Update 3.7'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
Under careful consideration after research on 3.7, I did download it (25MB space required) and install it onto my PSP.

-It features the Music/Photo at same time feature (like the PS3).
-The awesome ability to select a 60-second chapter increment of a saved Movie file.
-And the button assignment for Remote Play makes it easier to play the Doko Demo Issyo Mainichi Issyo game, as well as zooming in or out while browsing the internet.

The PSP Spot Icon under the Internet icon; I consider that a Bonus Short-Cut to the Japan PSP Browser.

While currently, after the update, it has become unable to establish a connection to check for the update (likely because of having just updated), when Sony of America adds a newer update BEYOND 3.7, and if I am unable to locate it through "Network Update" search, I can still download it from the official US website through my PC.

Gotta keep the American Sony People on their toes when word gets out about the Next Update, that they give it a NUMBER 3.71 or HIGHER.

In a nutshell, I personally reccomend updating to 3.7 now, if applicable.
}}

==12 [[September 2007]] — Re: Finally Spurged...Need Everyone's Help!!!==

''I was a Newbie just Last Sept. 4.'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I had just bought the game myself after downloading the 1.92 update; needless to say, I was unable to go online for a while. Delayed WarHawking.

But to get my feet wet, I did not select "ONLINE", instead I selected the second option, where it would play with closeby PS3s. It allowed me to walk about, drive a jeep, tank, fly a jet or whatever without the stressful shooting gallery.

I highly reccommend just getting your feet wet before fighting online via wi-fi; select the closeby PS3 option.

Have fun, fellow beginner. :)

Chris Chan
}}

==27 [[September 2007]] 20:42 — Quick Question...==

''Quick Question...'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
Has anyone tried hooking a wired 360 controller into a PS3 USB port and seeing if it would function like a normal controller?
}}

==27 [[September 2007]] 20:46 — Re: Yeah I'm Sick of this, anyone want to buy my Warhawk?==

''Yeah I'm Sick of this, anyone want to buy my Warhawk?'' by templar_syd

{{quotebox2|
Ok, the guy keeps killing me with like nothing, he respawned at the same place even when it was my teams base, 4 knife 2 grenades head on would not kill him.....I'm sooo fricking sick of this horses***, Today seems even worse than most days. My team was like nothing but 5 year olds and the same like 5 people from the other team were near impossible to kill even when using a knife 4-6 times on them, then rest of their team was like 1 hit from behind but not those 5. Warhawk needs an overhaul big time. I was sooo ticked that I wasted a perfectly good cherry jones soda against the door...but thats all cleaned up now.... unlike Suckhawk err, Warhawk
}}

''LOL NOOB. HAHAHA getting so'' by Phillip_Cat

{{quotebox2|
LOL NOOB.

HAHAHA getting so pissed over a game.

I hope you missed a piece of glass and you gash your foot open.

1 (800) LEARN-2-PLAY
}}

''reply'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
EDIT your language!
}}

==31 [[October 2007]] — Where is the Behind the Scenes Video==

''Where is the Behind the Scenes Video'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I just got my copy of [[God of War]] Chains of Olympus yesterday. I've completed the Attica Level successfully. The package of the demo disc said that it had the "Bringing an Epic to PSP" video in the demo. I have found the Walkthrough, but not the Bringing an Epic video. Where is it on that demo?

Chris Chan
}}

==9 [[August 2008]] — Playstation EyeCreate REQUIRED OPTION==

''Playstation EyeCreate REQUIRED OPTION'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I would really like the ability to import photo, audio and video files already saved on my PS3's HDD, accessable on the XMB, so I can actually have them available to add into a movie in progress.
}}

==14 [[December 2008]] — Re: **Playstatoin Home Suggestions**==

''The Hand-Held Device'' by Sonichu

{{quotebox|
I had the Closed Beta for Home in my Japan Account; although it was in Japanese. Anyway, I LOVED the in-Home PSP for the hand-held device.

What we have NOW in the Open Home is, IMHO, a stupid-looking IDK-what-the-heck-it-is device.

Please Bring Back the In-Home PSP.

Chris Chan
}}
==External links==
*<s>[http://gap.us.playstation.com/?q=blog/68100 Chris's GAP blog]</s> DELETED

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Journals]]

PlayStation blog

2012-07-13T04:43:03Z

Axe: /* Links */

The '''PlayStation Blog''' is a place where important [[PS3|PlayStation]] people talk about important PlayStation things. Chris has annoyed other people in the comment sections with his complaints using his [[Sonichu]] and CChan accounts from June [[2007]] to [[March 2010]].

== Comments ==
===WHY ME?!!!===
{{quotebox|
Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> June 15th, [[2007]] at 1:46 am

I’ve just download [[Autism|Go Puzzle]] for my [[PS3]], and on the ONLINE MULTIPLAYER function, while my opponent is able to play on their half, my game CURSOR is unable to move. No matter how much I press my D-Pad or push my Analog Stick, IT WILL NOT MOVE. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!! Also, in the “Lobby”, when I am prompted to “X” the “Ready?” icon, I can’t seem to be able to, no matter how much I press my “X” button.

WHAT IS THE DEAL?!!! WHY ME?!!!
}}
===Contest===
{{quotebox|
Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> August 6th, 2007 at 8:03 pm

I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Chop Chop Master Onion Contest]] at
http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms.

Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.

I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating [[Adam Stackhouse|adamstackhouse]], or do I believe the [[Honest]], [[Autism|Autistic]] CWCSonichu?
}}

===ORIGINAL BIRTH-CREATED Filename===
{{quotebox|
CChan <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 3rd, [[2008]] at 1:18 am

It’s good to know you’re fixing 2.40; I have a complaint to register. I’ve had no trouble installing it, but after installing the Update, I look up the video files I have saved on my external hard drive and not only does it TAKE LONGER for the PS3 to read the files to list them, but it digs deep into each one and adds a “Title” to the file’s information, which is its ORIGINAL BIRTH-CREATED Filename; not the name I dubbed the file. Originally, it would Sort via the latest filename; it now sorts via ORIGINAL Filename; [[Family Guy|IT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS]].

As long as you’re fixing the Update; Fix the Video File Reading capability back to the way it was.

Christian W. Chandler
PSN ID: Sonichu
}}
{{quotebox|
CChan <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 3rd, 2008 at 1:20 am

P.S.

After fixing 2.40, you may want to rename it to 2.41, so those of us who did receive the Update, our PS3s can pick up on the patch.
}}
{{quotebox2|
Sentry <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 3rd, 2008 at 1:26 am

@ 485

If the problem is really bricking PS3′s (lol sorry), then it should be named 2.45, its worthy of the jump don’t ya think? :P
}}
{{quotebox|
CChan <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 8th, 2008 at 3:14 am

I hope y’all were able to fix the Gear-Grinding Video File-reading glitch.
}}
{{quotebox2|
DarkGeneral88 <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 8th, 2008 at 3:38 am

@165

Why? Is it so problematic to go and install it yourself?

I can give a few reasons why it’s a bad idea

1. Time restraints I download them in the morning before work I don’t want to have to wait till they install before I can leave to turn it off and I don’t want it on all day. (Minority agreement probably)

2. I like the download in background feature and I don’t want that taken away. Installs can not be performed in the background and if it downloads the installs automatically we can’t have that feature anymore plus we could only be able to download one at a time because there would be conflicts. (Majority probably agree)

3. I don’t like bloated code which would just add needless lines of code which means more code more chance of bugs, which is never good even if you could toggle it off. Plus I don’t know how much space they have in flash but I don’t want that to take up room so they don’t have room for important usefull things.
}}

===I WANT THEM===
{{quotebox|
Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> August 3rd, 2008 at 12:46 am

In my humble opinion, about the Video on the [[PSN]] Store, I would like…

-Shows from [[Wikipedia:BBC America|BBC America]], such as “[[Netflix|Keeping Up Appearances]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Are You Being Served?|Are You Being Served]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Open All Hours|Open All Hours]]”, “[[Wikipedia:As Time Goes By (TV series)|As Time Goes By]]”, “[[Bob|Last of the Summer Wine]]”, “[[Wikipedia:My Family|My Family]]”, “[[Barbara]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Sorry! (TV series)|Sorry]]”, “[[Jerkops|Thin Blue Line]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Only Fools and Horses|Of Fools and Horses]]”, and of course, “[[Monty Python]]’s Flying Circus”.

-ALL the “[[Family Guy]]” episodes (Fill In the Blanks for EVERY SEASON), [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|Stewie’s “Untold Story”]] Movie, “[[Wikipedia:Blue Harvest (Family Guy)|Blue Harvest]]”, and future “Family Guy” movies/specials.

-Complete “American Dad” and “[[Futurama]]” Seasons and movies.

-All Rentals staying playable for a WEEK after First Playback (two weeks max with no playback is fine).

-More Disney shows and movies (“[[Wikipedia:Brandy & Mr. Whiskers|Brandy & Mr. Whiskers]]”, “[[Wikipedia:The Buzz on Maggie|The Buzz on Maggie]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Lizzie McGuire|Lizzie McGuire]]” and Classic Mickey Mouse, [[Donald Duck]], Goofy and Minnie Mouse shorts in B/W and Color).

Also, for the PSN Store Game area; I’ve noticed in other countries, there are 3 or 4 Additional Add-On Content for [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]; why didn’t they make the [[U.S.]]? I WANT THEM.

Sincerely
Christian Weston Chandler
PSN ID: Sonichu
}}

===Memory===
{{quotebox|
Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> December 22nd, 2008 at 3:02 am

I’m not sure, but I think it true from my Point of View, but did the Update Increase Memory Capacity, because usually when I update my [[Little Pig Blanket|LBC1 Level]], I CONSTANTLY receive a “Your Profile Can’t Be Saved” Message, usually due to LARGE-Capacity Level or HUGE amounts of downloaded objects and stickers, and now I’m not getting that message as much?
}}
{{quotebox|Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> December 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 am

never mind; I’ve learned the hard way that was not the case.

BUT IT SHOULD BE A PRIORITY in a future Patch; UPGRADE MEMORY CAPACITY for a Profile to fit the Greatest Size and number of Custom Levels, as well as the Infinite Number of Downloadable Objects and Stickers.
}}
===Death to homos===

{{quotebox|Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> [[July 2009|July 8th, 2009]] at 4:15 pm

Hey, the [[Street Fighter]] Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, [[Homos|I AM OFFENDED]]; please change your Avitar, dude.
}}
===''[[God of War]]''===

{{quotebox|Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> [[March 2010|March 16th, 2010]] at 9:11 am

I have one complaint; I just got the U.E. of [[God of War|G.O.W. III]], and I had reserved it at [[Wikipedia:GameStop|Gamestop]], so I got a code for the Phantom of Chaos Skin as well. And I got acode from 7-Eleven for the Morpheus Skin.

The codes Worked for Morpheus Skin, Challenge of Exile Arenas/Dominus Skin and Unearthing the Legend.

But I am still getting the Error Message for the Phantom of Chaos Skin, ad the G.O.W. Trilogy and Blood and Metal Soundtracks.

When will tose two items be up, so my Two Codes for them can finally Function and I can have them?

Please let it be TODAY!

PSN: Sonichu}}

== Links ==

*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/06/14/ps3-firmware-upgrade-181-coming-tomorrow/comment-page-4/#comment-2180]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/02/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/#comment-14709]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2008/07/02/firmware-v240-status/comment-page-10/#comment-79605]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2008/07/07/ps3-system-software-update-v241/comment-page-4/#comment-82563]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2008/08/01/playstation-store-video-content-update/comment-page-3/#comment-94785]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2008/12/19/sack-it-to-me-the-holiday-edition/comment-page-3/#comment-141891]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/08/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/#comment-241496]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/03/16/god-of-war-iii-out-today/comment-page-2/#comment-366547]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:PS3]]
[[Category:Journals]]

CWC's Diary

2012-07-13T04:42:02Z

Axe: /* References */

{{quote|My life sucks.|Entry for 2 March 2004}}

[[File:127539439799.jpg|thumb|"My Dad is blood-thirsty for revenge as well."]]

[[Chris]] has stated that he keeps (or has kept) a '''diary''', although little is known about its format. Chris may be referring to his various blogs on sites like [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]], or he may be referring to a ''physical'' book that he actually writes in.

Entries from this diary that he has put on the [[Internet]] have provided the greatest insight into Chris's world from [[2004]]-[[2007]], particularly events involving his [[Love Quest]] that would inspire the [[Sub-Episodes]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]]. However, by mid-[[2008]] Chris had deleted his MySpace and virtually all references to these diary entries...except the ones he put on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], which never forgets.

==Entries==
===2004===
Well, here it is, [[2004|Y2K4 (2004)]]! My one resolution is to get myself a matching [[girlfriend]]. Rather it will happen is somethingelse. I plan to try again at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]].

'''6 January:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist, and big half-brother, Dr. [[David Alan Chandler]], for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-Glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, [[Savannah]]. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that. :D<ref>In November 2007, Chris accompanies this entry with a picture of him wearing glasses, with the caption ""Yes, ''I WEAR GLASSES''; I have been since Groundhog Day, [[1998]], because I am Nearsighted"</ref>

'''31 January:''' Well, it’s the end of another month, and I still don’t have a girlfriend. Maybe my latest idea, the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter, will make the ladies take notice of me. Next stop: my Birthmonth, February (I’ll be 22 on the 24th this year)..

'''9 February:''' [[Mary Lee Walsh]] made it illegal to distribute the News Dash; I AM VERY ANGRY AT THAT XXXXX! In response, [[Chris and reality|I plan to incite the masses]], and hope they DEMAND the return the News Dash so my chances on getting a girlfriend can be restored. I have also declared WAR on them as well!

'''2 March:''' That XXXXX, Mary Lee Walsh, got on my, and my parents’, nerves! She played SOCIAL DIRECTOR, and tried to frame me, just to giver her an excuse to boot me out of PVCC! All I’ve been doing was trying to get a girlfriend… IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?! I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that XXXXX caused unto me! My life sucks.

'''29 April:''' Sonichu and I were featured in the PVCC newsletter, the FORUM, but still nothing. Oh, to become popular and to get a girlfriend is very hard. My [[Barbara Chandler|Mom]] MAY help me next month… GOOD LUCK.

I did get to rub my [[Nintendo Power]] FAME in the [[Mary Lee Walsh|XXXXX’s]] face! Heh-heh!<ref>In November 2007 Chris added: "Enough OLD angst against the grey-haired witch-devil, THAT I'VE PUT LONG BEHIND ME..."</ref>

Well, it’s another month; still no girlfriend. But I have a NEW idea that I am sure will [[Chris and rape|REEL in a girlfriend]] on a FATEFUL [[Anime|RED STRING]].

'''5 August:''' I’ve had my worst trip to the Mall. I was working with my Heart on a [[Red String of Fate]], when from out the blue, a [[Jerkop|JERK COP]] shatter my [[heart level|Heart]] and ripped up the Red String! I am very mad and upset, because that JERK [[Chris and English|took my idea for a fall]], just like that XXXXX at PVCC did! >(

'''4 September:''' While I was at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]], for the 8th week today, I realized something: since I have been using a [[sign]] to state my being single & lonesome towards an 18-22-year-old [[boyfriend-free girl|BOYFRIEND-FREE woman]], I, in the event, was trying to [[Wikipedia:Prostitution|sell myself like a new car]]. I may be able to [[Carlos Chantor|put that idea to good use]].

'''6 September:''' At the mall on this Labor Day, I was taking another go on my [[Love Quest]]. I told that JERK COP off when I pulled some of my Fun Cards and told my [[virgin with rage|Lonesome Virgin]] story, intimidated him and shouted “NO” into his face. In short, today was my Independence Kay, but I am still alone.

'''11 September:''' I was not bothering anyone at the mall today while I was trying to “Sell myself,” when I got ARRESTED for trying; I fortunately did not go to Jail. But I have been stripped of my right to go to the Mall by myaelf; I would be required to bring my Mom or [[Dad]] with me. My independence, and my SOUL, were practically MURDERED. (8(

'''16 September:''' I got SUSPENDED FROM [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] by the Board, and I have that Meddling XXXXX to thank for this as well. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|I am SUPER ANGRY! >8(]] My Dad is blood-thirsty for revenge as well. He’s going to write to US PRESIDENT, [[George W. Bush|George W. Bush Jr.]], and Laura Bush, to help me get allowed back to PVCC. [[Death threats|WE ALL CURSE DEATH]] upon that XXXXX, Mary Lee Walsh! >8(

'''26 September:''' It’s been over a week since my SUSPENSION; I am DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD and BORED! I have nowhere to go to attract a Boyfriend-Free woman. I’ll be writing to [[Santa Clause]] this year, hoping that will bring me one. (8(

===2005===
'''29 March:''' Well, at the mall today, my heart had a extremly fast recovery, then it became Majorly Shattered again. I went to the mall, like normal, I picked up some chicken nuggets and a drink, then I went to my spot. I pulled up a chair to sit and eat my food on. Then, from out of the blue, this cute girl approached me, and she asked me if I was looking for a Girlfriend (Her name was [[Hanna]], and she was 18-Years Old). I said yes, and we small-talked for a bit. Then she invited me over to Starbucks for coffee. After she left, I became very excited and “Oh My God” all over! After calling Mom, and eatingmy nuggets, [[English|I lefted]] the chair with such cheer and grace, and spun around with it like a dancer. Then I put it back where itwas. I felt that my [[Love Quest]] had finally come to an end, and I so elated that my Shattered Heart had a full, fast recovery. I went to Starbucks, and we talked about basic things. I showed her my [[Sonichu Scrapbook]]; she was very impressed. I gaver my E-Mail, and both my Phone Numbers, on a “Sonichu Site” card, and she gave me her E-Mail address. I was very attentive as I took notes about her, and maintained eye-contact. As I left her, I gave a “Double-Take” flirt. That was the rise; now here comes the fall. As I was sitting at my spot, thinking about future steps for later dates, [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and Dana told me that when they talked to Hanna, she told them that she was setting me up in a prank. I could not believe it, so I found and asked Hanna. Sadly, it was true. Then in major shock, my heart [[Heart level|Shattered again by 85%]], and I let out a big “NOOOOOOOO!”

So, my Love Quest has restarted, and as for that date of ours, I’ll always remember it, but as far as I’m concerned, it doesnot count as my First Date. I was not as happy, as I was today, in a long time. I am once again Heart-Shattered and sad, but I will not give up on my Love Quest, because there has to be One True Boyfriend-Free, Datable, Non-Pranking Girl out there somewhere!<ref>Chris adds in November 2007: "After that shout, I got kicked out AGAIN, and I'm still without the Fashion Square Shopping Centere that I've grown accustomed to after my whole life."</ref>

'''22 June:''' Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the McDonald’s at Wal-Mart, and apparently complaints were made. The two [[manajerks]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[B-Manajerk|Black, Fat Jerk]] (he looked a lot like the leader of the Jerkops at the Mall, whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl, like I have been doing for the past over one-year and ten-months. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[sign]] from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the [[Jerkops]] came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the [[B-Manajerk]] was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [sic] to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my [[car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off. I needed someone to talk to, so I went to the mall and talked to [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]. She was a positively great help. She listened attentively, and she gave me a terriffic [sic] suggestion, tell my One-Year and Ten-Month Old Story to the Daily Progress. It was such a great idea, because I could bad-mouth those Jerks, as well as the Jerkops, [[ScotPalazzo|Scott Manajer]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Also, with my story, I may actually attract an 18-23-Year Old Boyfriend-Free, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]], white girl.

So I dashed home and printed a second copy of my diary, and dashed to the office; the Female Reporters were in a meeting, so I left a message on an answering machine, thanks to the secretary who helped me. I’ll go back there tomorrow afternoon and try again, unless she calls me before then. Now, I feel sad, because I have nowhere else to go to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl, and I feel very furious with those Manajerks and all Men other than myself and my father. Also, the top reason for me detesting those JERKS was that they all have taken all the pretty girls, leaving me with none. That reason is now the numbertwo reason. The new number one reason is they ALL are AGAINST me in finding a Girlfriend of my own. But I will not give up on my long and teidous [sic] Love Quest; I’ll find a new Attraction Spot, somewhere in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]]. There has to be at least one 18-23-Year Old Boyfriend-Free, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic, white girl out there somewhere.

'''20 July:''' … I was at the new [[Target]] store, just hanging around, not bothering anyone. And, from out of the blue, these two Manajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT! I was there hoping to find an 18-23-year old, Boyfriend-Free girl, like I usually do. Then, from out of the blue, after I told them off, they came back with two Jerkops! I was slightly intimidated, but mostly annoyed and ready to strike back on them. They asked me to leave, and never return. I did not want to leave. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid Jerkops. And, during the middle of my speech, they chased me, pulled my pants, and pinned me to the floor. Five Jerkops dog-piled on me as I struggled to get free. [[gay|A thousand pounds of sausages]] on [[Obesity#Denial|my 180 pound body]] was seriously a cut-off for my Breathing Flow. They handcuffed my wrists and legs, and they hog-tied me! Not only did I felt humiliated from being the victim, but I was angry at them! Not only for handcuffing me, but once again thwarting my efforts in trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl. They drove me to the county jail, but fortunately, they did not keep me there; I was released to my family. But now I have to go to court on July 29 at 9:00 AM at the Albemarle County Courthouse, close to the Downtown Mall. So now, I feel very miserable, sad, lonely and rejected. And, while I had the handcuffs on me, both my hands, mostly my right, were seriously cut off from blood flow, and they both felt numb. It was terrible. But my mother and I are going to get back at them in court, in fact, I learned that the Jerkop who arrested me was called [[Bagget]] (that was the only thing about the situation that was hilarious; replace the “B” with an “F,” and you can see how [[humor|funny]] it was).

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Journals]]

IRC (26 October 2008)

2012-07-13T04:40:51Z

Axe: /* Transcript */

In the early morning of 26 [[October 2008]], [[Chris]] chatted in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] for about an hour.

==Summary==
This is one of Chris's earlier fan chats, taking place just after the climax of the [[Blanca Weiss]] saga. Thanks to the cumulative [[stress]] of losing Blanca and seeing his [[medallions]] immersed in pickle juice, on 21 October Chris [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashed into slumber]]. At this point Chris is trying to bounce back a bit.

The most historically significant element of the chat is Chris's first reference to [[Chloe]], one of the rare occasions where he's made up a [[sweetheart]] almost entirely out of thin air. He claims that they met at Gamestop, that they went to Taco Bell together, that she's gorgeous, that he's gotten to second base with her, and that she is his "VIRGIN-TAKER," but of course she is "shy" and doesn't want to be seen on the internet.

Chris's story doesn't hold any water on its face, but it's possible to spot some specific inconsistencies if one is familiar with the details of his life around this time. He claims to have met Chloe in mid-September, which means he was seeing her at the same time he was declaring (at the end of September) that Blanca was his one, true, divinely-ordained future partner. Likewise he claims that they officially hooked up in mid-October, before Blanca dumped him. If that was the case, why did losing Blanca hit him so hard? In any event, Chloe would be a short-lived phenomenon. Chris mentioned her in a video the next day, and then never again.

Besides the tales of Chloe, the chat features more of Chris's usual creepy sexual revelations. He advises one fan with a curiosity about sex toys to "talk to your mother about it," which inspires visions of a truly disturbing conversation between Chris and [[Barbara]] on the same subject. He also answers a privately messaged question from another troll with, "[[User:Falsion|Falsion]], you can have some of your stuff surgecally removed and put into your woman" - use your imagination.

On more mundane subjects, Chris says that he likes raisins and he wants to visit England someday, since his ancestors came from there. He's alright with censorship in the media, since it protects small children. Probably the funniest line of all, though, is a comment on his self-defense skills: "I've watched a lot of television, and I've taken a lot of P.E. Classes." We're sure that will serve you in good stead, Chris.

One troll repeatedly asks Chris what he would do "if [[Robert Simmons V|Robert Simmons]] raped Chloe and popped her virginity before you had a chance?" This prefigures [[Clyde Cash]] raping [[PandaHalo]] three months later, but it's probably a coincidence.

==Transcript==

[03:49:28] Guest joined.
 [03:49:29] Guest is now known as Guest1.
 [03:49:30] Fag\ is now known as Fag.
 [03:49:31] '''veronichan:''' haha
 [03:49:31] '''SonichFan1:''' omg omg omg omg
 [03:49:40] '''falsion:''' less obvious plz
 [03:49:40] Fag was kicked from the chat room by Sonee.
 [03:49:44] '''falsion:''' good
 [03:49:46] '''veronichan:''' must...roll...joint...quickly
 [03:49:49] '''SonichFan1:''' I am ripe with glee
 [03:49:56] '''SonichuZapsOfThunder:''' heyyy
 [03:49:58] '''SonichuGal:''' Chris, is that you? It's got a .va in your thingy.
 [03:50:03] '''Sonee:''' ?
 [03:50:05] '''falsion:''' it's him
 [03:50:09] Filbert joined.
 [03:50:10] '''falsion:''' Hey Chris
 [03:50:14] Guest1 is now known as ChrisChanSonichu.
 [03:50:15] '''SonichuGal:''' Remember Sonee, no foul language!
 [03:50:18] ChrisChanSonichu was promoted to operator by PandaHalo.
 [03:50:19] '''Sonee:''' Oops
 [03:50:22] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Hey, Yall!
 [03:50:23] '''Sonee:''' Sorry guys =(
 [03:50:24] '''SonichuGal:''' Hurray! It's Chris! Heya Chris!
 [03:50:27] '''SONICHUZAPSLIKELIGHTNING:''' omgomgomgomg
 [03:50:27] '''falsion:''' Good to see you.
 [03:50:35] '''Filbert:''' Hello Chris!
 [03:50:39] '''Sonichu_Fan:''' Hey Chris!
 [03:50:40] '''MagichanSonichu:''' Hi Chris!
 [03:50:46] '''Sonichu_Fan:''' How are you?
 [03:50:46] '''veronichan:''' Wow! Cool!
 [03:50:48] '''Sonichu_Fan:''' :D
 [03:50:50] '''SonichuZapsOfThunder:''' Hello chris.
 [03:50:51] knuckip: mr. chandler, are you going to make a new comic anytime soon?
 [03:50:52] '''Filbert:''' I love Sonichu.
 [03:50:53] '''SonichFan1:''' Hey Christian Weston Chandler. I am your biggest fan. Sonichu is such an inspiration to me
 [03:51:03] '''SonichuZapsOfThunder:''' ditto
 [03:51:07] '''PandaHalo:''' Hey Christian , how is the video going that you were going to make to address the fan questions?
 [03:51:09] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm still working on the 18th Episode, and it's going well.
 [03:51:10] chris_chan_is_numero_uno: We love you, Christian!
 [03:51:15] '''SonichuGal:''' Please people, let's try and keep questions one at a time, Allow someone to ask a question and Chris to answer it.
 [03:51:17] '''PandaHalo:''' we're all REALLY excited about it!
 [03:51:17] '''MagichanSonichu:''' Chris, we hear your heart is back at 100%! That is great news, but how?
 [03:51:21] '''falsion:''' Stop spamming
 [03:51:31] PandaHalo made this room moderated for normal users.
 [03:51:32] '''falsion:''' Okay, slowly now.
 [03:51:44] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I have a Real Woman in my life now.
 [03:51:48] '''falsion:''' You do?
 [03:51:53] '''SonichuGal:''' Tell us more! Is she nice?
 [03:52:02] '''falsion:''' You did like I said didn't you?
 [03:52:04] '''Sonee:''' Sonee! Sonee!
 [03:52:06] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' she is nice.
 [03:52:07] '''falsion:''' That's good to hear, man
 [03:52:08] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes
 [03:52:16] '''SonichuGal:''' Can you tell us what she looks like?
 [03:52:16] '''falsion:''' That's awesome
 [03:52:27] '''SonichuGal:''' Is she hot ;)?
 [03:52:40] '''falsion:''' I told you, you could do it.
 [03:52:47] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' she is not only hawt, but positively gorgeous.
 [03:52:56] '''falsion:''' You don't need the internet to talk to a girl. You've got the skills to make it happen in real life.
 [03:53:01] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yep.
 [03:53:13] '''falsion:''' Man, that's reallly good to hear
 [03:53:17] '''cogsdev:''' i'm so happy for you chris
 [03:53:43] '''SonichuGal:''' If you have a question for Chris, PM a mod and we'll ask Chris.
 [03:53:55] '''Sonee:''' This is a In-Person girl?
 [03:54:04] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Yes
 [03:54:11] '''Sonee:''' Wow
 [03:54:44] Guest joined.
 [03:54:49] '''falsion:''' Chris. I don't know how to say this. Remember how I said that I had trouble talking to girls and decided to maybe just give up altogther? Well, something else came up.
 [03:55:13] Guest_ joined.
 [03:55:13] '''falsion:''' What would you do in this situation?
 [03:55:37] '''Sonee:''' Remember fellow Sonichu fans: PM a mod with your question to ask the Big CWC!
 [03:55:38] Guest was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [03:55:40] Guest_ was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [03:55:48] '''falsion:''' I'm embarressed to say this in front of everyone, but I know I can trust your advice.
 [03:55:50] Guest is now known as steventheeunuch.
 [03:56:00] Guest_ is now known as Ayatollah.
 [03:56:02] '''steventheeunuch:''' Hi falsion
 [03:56:26] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' falsion, listen, if the woman truly loves you, it will not matter to her rather or not you're impotent.
 [03:56:44] '''PandaHalo:''' Chris, when will the fan video be out?
 [03:57:00] falsion left.
 [03:57:04] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' just don't go blurting all over the place about your impotence.
 [03:57:08] '''Sonee:''' CWC, how long have you and your new gal been seeing each other?
 [03:57:12] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Monday.
 [03:57:23] falsion joined.
 [03:57:24] falsion was promoted to operator by [^_^].
 [03:57:28] '''falsion:''' Sorry, I got disconnected
 [03:57:30] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' for a short while now.
 [03:58:02] '''falsion:''' Chris, did you see my question?
 [03:58:14] '''steventheeunuch:''' Hi chris, sorry to interrupt, but I sent you a message over youtube about dating advice- Im a life coach and part of my job is to help people when it comes to courting men/women, and I was wondering if ever you wanted to chat about that?
 [03:58:16] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1 wants to know: Have you had a kiss yet with da new lady?
 [03:59:03] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Falsion, you can have some of your stuff surgecally removed and put into your woman.
 [03:59:03] PandaHalo removed the ban on *!*@Rizon-FCC1C55A.lv.lv.cox.net.
 [03:59:11] '''falsion:''' I can?
 [03:59:48] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm okay, steventheeunuch; yes, and her name is Chloe; yes, falsion, just ask a doctor about that procedure.
 [03:59:53] NipplesOfSillyness joined.
 [03:59:58] '''falsion:''' What about adoption? Is that a good option in your opinion?
 [03:59:59] '''SonichuGal:''' Chris, filbert asks: if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?
 [04:00:06] NipplesOfSillyness left.
 [04:00:07] '''falsion:''' also sorry to cut into other peoples question time
 [04:00:10] '''steventheeunuch:''' Chris: have you met her in real life yet?
 [04:00:12] '''falsion:''' but i really need to know this
 [04:00:18] '''SonichuGal:''' steve, he's said it's in person.
 [04:00:36] '''steventheeunuch:''' Oh I see i see
 [04:00:46] '''falsion:''' I'm sure you all understand what I'm going through right now. I apologize
 [04:00:46] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1: Wants to know: I tried calling your fhouse but your parents got mad! Is there a way to talk directly with Christian Chandler?
 [04:01:12] DOUKNOUKEM left.
 [04:01:44] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' England; yes; soon enough; only if you are nice about it when you call.
 [04:02:14] sonichuslover joined.
 [04:02:14] '''Ayatollah:''' Why would you want to go to England may I ask?
 [04:02:45] sonichuslover left.
 [04:02:47] '''steventheeunuch:''' Do you consider the possibility of chloe being a fake?
 [04:02:51] sonichuslover joined.
 [04:03:09] '''steventheeunuch:''' *no offence and nothing implied*
 [04:04:18] '''falsion:''' Chris, are you still with us?
 [04:04:24] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Because I have ancestors from jolly ol' England; she is not a fake, we have met in person.
 [04:04:27] '''steventheeunuch:''' Its oh, so, quiet
 [04:05:00] '''SonichuGal:''' Please steve, other people have questions they're waiting to be asked.
 [04:05:03] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Also, Chloe is shy and currently doesn't want her face on the internet currently.
 [04:05:16] [[BILLY_MAYS]] joined.
 [04:05:29] steventheeunuch had voice removed by SonichuGal.
 [04:06:15] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1 wants to know: I have a hard time talking on the phone and I need to communicate with iprelay?
 [04:06:26] sonichuslover left.
 [04:06:27] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I have pictures, but I refuse to upload them onto the internet; I have male acquaintances, and I still will feel how I feel about them as I do now.
 [04:06:40] '''Sonee:''' I believe he means if you know of iprelay and would like to speak with SonichuFan1 in this manner?
 [04:07:02] '''falsion:''' IPRelay is where a person types something to an operator and the operator talks to you
 [04:07:12] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm sorry, but that method of communication is very annoying to me, and I do not care for it much, goahead
 [04:07:29] '''SonichuGal:''' Chris, SonichuZapsOfLightening asks if you've ever been in a fight with someone other than a jerkop/manajerk/etc.
 [04:07:46] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' no comment.
 [04:07:51] '''SonichuGal:''' Fair enough.
 [04:08:04] '''Sonee:''' cogsdev wants to know: i have not left my house in two years and am terrified of showing my face in public. Does chris have any advice to help me overcome my problems and get back to school?
 [04:08:05] '''Ayatollah:''' Christian, If I may ask, do you find relationships online to be as satisfying as ones in the outside world?
 [04:08:22] sonichuslover joined.
 [04:09:05] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Suck it up and dive right into the public scene; 3/4 as satisfying.
 [04:09:13] sonichuslover was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [04:09:23] sonichuslover: yay
 [04:09:42] Ayatollah had voice removed by SonichuGal.
 [04:09:46] sonichuslover had voice removed by SonichuGal.
 [04:09:47] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSonichu wants to know: How did you meet the new girl if you were banned from other places?
 [04:10:40] SonicusPrime joined.
 [04:10:56] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' We met at the Gamestop; we were both preordering LittleBiGPlanet at the same time.
 [04:11:32] '''Sonee:''' I believe I have skipped over another mod that had a question, if one has a question from a fan please do so
 [04:11:39] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' it just happened with the Emotional Spark of the moment. :)
 [04:11:55] '''falsion:''' Sega4ever wants to know what you think about Muslims delaying LittleBigPlanet, any thoughts?
 [04:12:20] eifer joined.
 [04:12:29] '''falsion:''' They delayed the game because they did not want a song that was used in the game to be used if I recall correctly
 [04:12:36] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Crazy.
 [04:12:55] '''falsion:''' I know, it is now that you mention it
 [04:13:16] '''SonichuGal:''' Christian, Filbert also wants to know - do you like raisins?
 [04:13:23] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' the two lyrics from that song translated to sentences of an apocolypse; they didn't want the children who were playing it to get that idea and be stressed.
 [04:13:27] Sandmastah_ joined.
 [04:13:49] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' but the song was in another language; it wouldn't have been understood in most countries.
 [04:13:57] '''falsion:''' yeah, it makes no sense
 [04:14:07] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Also, SONY COULD HAVE made a downloadable patch to delete that song from the game, or hidden it.
 [04:14:08] '''falsion:''' its like they do it for attention
 [04:14:21] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' what kind of raisins; the fruit?
 [04:14:35] '''SonichuGal:''' Yes, the fruit.
 [04:14:46] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes, I like Raisins.
 [04:14:46] '''SonichuGal:''' Haha, I remember the Californian Raisins.
 [04:15:19] '''falsion:''' one of the zelda games got delayed for the same reason if I recall correctly.
 [04:15:42] Guest joined.
 [04:15:43] '''falsion:''' Hmm, Chris. What is your opinion on this kind of censorship? I mean, people censoring things for reasons like this, some which don't really make a lot of sense.
 [04:15:52] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: With Chloe, are you dating, or have you only met once? Subsequently, have you kissed yet?
 [04:15:53] Guest was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [04:16:00] Guest is now known as HorniGal.
 [04:16:10] '''SonichuGal:''' Hold one other mods, let's have Chris have a chance ot answer each question carefully and thoughtfully.
 [04:16:20] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Censorship is good.
 [04:16:21] '''falsion:''' ok sorry
 [04:16:39] '''HorniGal:''' Chris I have a question. I'm a really really horny girl, and I remember hearing you talk about how girls can put bananas in their pussy, but i have no bananas. What else could i use?
 [04:16:41] '''falsion:''' But sometimes it goes too far, don't you think? Someone doesn't like something and they want it removed.
 [04:16:54] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' we have dated; our first date was at a Taco Bell, and we have kissed deeply.
 [04:17:01] HorniGal was kicked from the chat room by SonichuGal.
 [04:17:24] '''falsion:''' steventheeunuch asks "in what regards and to what extent censorship is good?"
 [04:17:26] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' a plastic dildo, girl.
 [04:17:27] Guest joined.
 [04:17:36] Laurie joined.
 [04:17:38] Guest was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [04:17:44] Guest is now known as HorniGal.
 [04:17:50] '''HorniGal:''' where could i get one of those dildos from?
 [04:17:50] Physaris left.
 [04:17:50] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' to censor language and naughty bits from the younger viewers.
 [04:17:55] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSonichu wants to know: Now that your Love Quest is over, do you forgive [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Wlash]]?
 [04:18:13] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I prefer not to think about that B****
 [04:18:32] Physaris joined.
 [04:19:06] '''Sonee:''' Gilbert wants to know: What do you think of the Digimon and Monster Rancher animes?
 [04:19:23] '''falsion:''' Do you think that some people will go to far to censor things? I mean, say a group doesn't beleive in God and wants it removed from public usage or some form of media.
 [04:19:30] Parakarry left.
 [04:19:35] '''falsion:''' ok sorry i'll shut up now
 [04:19:40] HorniGal had voice removed by SonichuGal.
 [04:19:41] '''falsion:''' i've had enough time to ask questions hehe
 [04:19:44] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' both animes are okay, but I have not played the games.
 [04:20:02] '''falsion:''' but people are wanting to know that as well it seems
 [04:20:04] HorniGal was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [04:20:07] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSonichu wants to ask: have you told Chloe about Crystal Weston Chandler yet?
 [04:20:14] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' with the current levels of censorship in the media, I feel it is okay.
 [04:20:54] Guest joined.
 [04:20:54] Physaris left.
 [04:20:58] '''SonichuGal:''' Christian, SonichuZapsOfThunder wonders if Christian and the Hedgehog Boys will ever "reunite" or in other words - can we expect to hear more of your original songs from you?
 [04:21:12] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' not at the moment.
 [04:21:24] Physaris joined.
 [04:21:45] '''HorniGal:''' Christian, I really like it when my boyfriend makes love to me in my ass. It feels just as good as my vag***. I am wondering, what do you think of anal sex between a boy and a girl? (NOT BOY AND BOY)
 [04:22:12] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1 wants to know: Have you made it to second base with Chloe? Inquiring minds want to know ;)
 [04:22:22] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' between boy and girl, I see no problem.
 [04:22:29] '''falsion:''' How is that possible though?
 [04:23:01] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes, we have done second.
 [04:23:01] '''falsion:''' I was thinking the other way around
 [04:23:22] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' with a strap-on dildo for the woman.
 [04:23:36] '''falsion:''' sounds painful
 [04:24:04] '''Sonee:''' Yes
 [04:24:10] '''HorniGal:''' me and my boyfriend would love for me to get a strap on dildo, do you know where i could get one and how it would work?
 [04:24:25] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' http://www.adameve.com
 [04:24:25] '''Sonee:''' SonicusPrime wants to know: I heard you changed your name when you were younger, could you explain?
 [04:24:52] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'll answer that question in my next video
 [04:24:58] '''SonichuGal:''' I can confirm, AdamAndEve has some great stuff ;)
 [04:25:19] '''Sonee:''' veronichan wants to know: what are some upcoming twists & turns in future comics?
 [04:25:34] '''SonichuGal:''' Veronichan, I don't think Chris wants to spoil his comic for us fans!
 [04:26:02] '''falsion:''' Protoman wants to know what will happen if Chloe finds your ED page, since in the past, that has broken your relationships up. Are you worried about that or taking any steps to prevent that?
 [04:26:21] '''HorniGal:''' christian, what other things does adam and eve have that you would recommend for me and my boyfriend who want to try new fun sexual things
 [04:26:52] '''SonichuGal:''' PLEASE one at a time, we don't want to overwhelm Christian with too many questions at once.
 [04:27:05] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' SHE IS MY VIRGIN-TAKER; no spoilers at the moment; she has found it, and has ignored it with a grain of salt; that depends on what you'd like to try, have a look around.
 [04:27:35] '''SonichuGal:''' Wait Chris, has she already taken it?
 [04:27:51] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I am a gentleman.
 [04:28:07] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSOnichu wants to know: Have you showed Chloe Sonichu yet? And if so how does she feel about it?
 [04:28:26] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' She Loves the stories of Sonichu, Rosechu and myself.
 [04:28:48] '''HorniGal:''' christian, what other things does adam and eve have that you would recommend for me and my boyfriend who want to try new fun sexual things
 [04:28:56] '''Sonee:''' BILLY_MAYS wants to know: Despite being a fan of your work, I admit I have experimented with tobacco and alcohol. I share your view they are very bad things, but felt I had to see for myself. How do you justify condeming things you have never experienced?
 [04:29:51] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' the educational DVDs for one thing; second-hand smoke...ugh :(
 [04:30:30] '''SonichuGal:''' Veronichan asks " Rosiechu is my favorite character. Would he mind if I named my gerbil after her?"
 [04:30:35] '''HorniGal:''' I have a question. My boyfriend wants me to invite one of my friends in to the bedroom for some threesome sex. Should i say yes?
 [04:30:49] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' that's cool; that's cool.
 [04:31:04] '''Sonee:''' sonichuslover wants to know: How long ago did you meet Chloe?
 [04:31:22] '''HorniGal:''' would you have a threesome with chloe?
 [04:31:23] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I met her mid-September
 [04:31:45] '''HorniGal:''' you say it is cool for two girls and a guy, what about two guys and a girl?
 [04:31:57] '''Sonee:''' Filbert wants to know: Do you find hentai to be a turn-on?
 [04:32:06] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' NO WAY; yes
 [04:32:28] '''falsion:''' I just looked at the AdamEve page. I've never considered sex toys before. I never even know they made them for guys. You've used them before, correct? Do you think they are satisfying enough to, well, you know, ease the lonliness of not having a woman to do it with? Are they a decent substitute, or at least thing to ease you over until then?
 [04:33:14] '''SonichuGal:''' I can say from my experience that AdamAndEve's sex toy lines are quite satisfying ;)
 [04:33:17] '''falsion:''' I wonder what my mom would think if I ordered some though, she would kick me out of the house and never talk to me again.
 [04:33:20] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1 wants to know: I heard Jimmy Hill just made 1 million on Sonichu merchandise and DVDs, what are you going to do??
 [04:33:27] '''falsion:''' It's tempting but
 [04:33:41] '''HorniGal:''' Chris, does your mother know you buy sex toys?
 [04:33:42] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' to me, they are close enough, but not as satisfying as the real woman (reference to the love doll); just talk to your mother about it.
 [04:33:57] Guest_ joined.
 [04:34:03] '''falsion:''' Well, I'd rather not. She'll well.. kick my ass
 [04:34:20] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' then go ahead; who is she to stop you.
 [04:34:38] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: You met Chloe in mid-September but when did you become Sweethearts?
 [04:34:41] '''falsion:''' i dunno i live in her house
 [04:35:07] '''HorniGal:''' Chris, would you like chloe to use a strap on with you?
 [04:35:11] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' after a month
 [04:35:51] '''HorniGal:''' If Chloe wanted you to pee on her in a golden shower, would you?
 [04:35:56] '''Sonee:''' cogsdev wants to know: I would like it if Chris could elaborate on his previous answer with any tips he has for building up my confidence, so I can "dive right in" as he suggested. I don't think it'll be as easy as he makes it sound, as the main reason I stopped going to school was due to bullying.
 [04:35:57] '''SonichuGal:''' Yuck!
 [04:36:48] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' maybe; talk to some women on the internet, but do not expect a relationship out of it right away.
 [04:37:14] '''falsion:''' Chris, would you ever consider moving out of your house? My mom always tells me "You can't live here forever. I won't always be here to support you." I mean, is she right? Do you agree with that?
 [04:37:32] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' possibly; yes
 [04:37:36] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: do you find taco bell to be an overly inappropriate place to bring a woman for a first date, considering you are grown adults?
 [04:37:52] '''SonichuGal:''' Hey, Taco Bell has great food at low prices!
 [04:37:53] '''falsion:''' Chris, could you elaborate on that?
 [04:37:55] '''SonichuGal:''' THINK OUTSIDE THE BUN!
 [04:38:06] '''falsion:''' i'm sorry but i really need to know and a lot of people are asking me the same thing
 [04:38:14] LordKaT left.
 [04:38:40] '''falsion:''' Say if something happened to your parents (pray that never happens but), what would you do?
 [04:38:47] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' your family is going to pass on eventually; you'll need to be able to support yourself, or have a sweetheart for support sooner or later.
 [04:39:14] '''Sonee:''' sonichuslover wants to know: when did you get to second base with Chloe?
 [04:39:15] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm fully capable of doing the [[chores]] around my house should that happen, god forbid.
 [04:39:31] '''falsion:''' Yeah, but I'm worried who is going to pay expenses
 [04:39:38] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' no comment. :)
 [04:39:40] '''HorniGal:''' Chris, you didn't answer my questions about golden showers :(
 [04:39:44] '''SonichuGal:''' Christian, SonichuZapsOfThunder would like to know if you plan on incorporating Chloe into your Sonichu comics.
 [04:39:53] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I said maybe, hornigal
 [04:40:00] '''HorniGal:''' oh sorry i must have missed it :(
 [04:40:02] '''SonichuGal:''' See? ;)
 [04:40:03] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes
 [04:40:20] '''Sonee:''' SonicusPrime wants to know: has anyone offered to make Sonichu action figures?
 [04:40:34] '''HorniGal:''' Christian, me and my boyfriend are going to dress up like sonichu and rosechu and have sex later and take photos. Would you like some copies of the photos?
 [04:40:44] '''falsion:''' Chris, what about expenses and such? I apologize for interupting anyone elses question but there is nobody else I can really talk to or relates to me on this issue
 [04:40:46] '''SonichuGal:''' I would!
 [04:40:48] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' no, but I am capable of designing rough designs on paper or Crayola Model Magic.
 [04:40:57] '''falsion:''' Like if my mom someday couldn't be there to pay them
 [04:41:24] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' no, thank you, HorniGal; get a job or career.
 [04:41:36] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: why cant you do the supporting? Isnt that the role of a man, to support the woman, not the other way around?
 [04:41:38] '''falsion:''' yeah but my disability prevents that from happening
 [04:42:05] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I will be supporting her as the Househusband.
 [04:42:43] '''HorniGal:''' what about if your wife dies and you're left with a child and no job to support that child?
 [04:42:55] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'll get a job.
 [04:42:58] '''falsion:''' was that to me? i'm a guy
 [04:43:09] '''HorniGal:''' are you gay falsioN?
 [04:43:12] '''falsion:''' no
 [04:43:14] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' oh, I'm sorry; *girlfriend.
 [04:43:14] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSonichu wants to know: Recently, Family Guy had a sketch that resembled Christian's. I wonder if he thinks they used his idea.
 [04:43:25] '''HorniGal:''' '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' what would you do if Chloe left you for Robert Simmons?
 [04:43:29] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' what?
 [04:43:54] '''SonichuGal:''' She's referring to Mort Goldman accidently thinking Stewie's time machine was a bathroom
 [04:44:09] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' that can be taken from anywhere.
 [04:44:09] '''SonichuGal:''' And it looked IDENTICAL to the Ghost Neutral chamber from your comic.
 [04:44:12] '''HorniGal:''' what would you do if Robert Simmons raped Chloe and popped her virginity before you had a chance? Would you still love chloe even though she wasn't a virgin?
 [04:44:23] '''falsion:''' Chris, maybe if I get a girlfriend like you someday. But the economy is kinda downtrodden right now. I don't think just one person working is enough to sustain living expenses now these days.
 [04:44:34] EXKeine joined.
 [04:44:35] '''falsion:''' i'll let everyone else talk now
 [04:44:57] '''Sonee:''' RachmaninovDESU wants to know: what kind of job would you like to have?
 [04:45:42] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' something with Computer Aided Drafting & Design.
 [04:45:51] loony joined.
 [04:46:00] '''falsion:''' Do you find that enjoyable? What made you choose that career path?
 [04:46:13] knuckip left.
 [04:46:14] '''falsion:''' as to what I want to do as far as a major
 [04:46:26] '''HorniGal:''' Chrischan, My boyfriend says he wants to rape your girlfriend
 [04:46:44] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I have two CADD degrees.
 [04:46:46] '''HorniGal:''' if you dont reply, i'll assume you want it to happen
 [04:46:46] '''SonichuGal:''' I bet Chris would kick him in the teeth.
 [04:47:02] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' HorniGal, Shut Up.
 [04:47:29] '''Sonee:''' Yes please, be more plite & courteous with your quesitions like everyone else
 [04:47:31] '''falsion:''' Chris, tell me more about CADD. Is it enjoyable?
 [04:47:34] '''Sonee:''' *polite
 [04:47:40] '''falsion:''' Is it a good career path in your opinion
 [04:48:01] HorniGal was kicked from the chat room by [^_^].
 [04:48:32] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' it's okay.
 [04:48:57] '''falsion:''' would you mind elaborating?
 [04:49:48] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' basically, you're designing parts and buildings on the computer.
 [04:49:55] '''falsion:''' hmm
 [04:50:01] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: I don't mean to be insulting but are you capable of kicking a man in his teeth? You dont look flexible enough to lift your leg above your waist, nor fit enough
 [04:50:29] '''SonichuGal:''' I absolutely think Chris could.
 [04:50:37] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I AM capable.
 [04:50:39] '''falsion:''' Chris wouldn't do it, he's a nice guy. Right? Or do you have a sort of side that you don't show to people
 [04:50:43] SonichuZapsOfThunder left.
 [04:50:46] '''falsion:''' sort of a mean streak
 [04:50:48] SonichuZapsOfThunder joined.
 [04:50:48] '''falsion:''' if you will
 [04:50:52] '''SonichuGal:''' I think Chris would in self defence.
 [04:50:58] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' self-defense
 [04:51:15] '''falsion:''' Have you ever taken any self defense or karate lessons?
 [04:52:01] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' in a way; I've watched a lot of television, and I've taken a lot of P.E. Classes.
 [04:52:13] '''falsion:''' Ah, you mean like kung fu movies?
 [04:52:18] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes.
 [04:52:32] '''falsion:''' Who's your favorite Kung Fu movie actor?
 [04:52:52] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm tired for now, plus I have church, so I'll answer more questions next time, as well as in the video.
 [04:52:59] '''SonichuGal:''' Sure!
 [04:53:07] ChrisChanSonichu left.

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:IRC]]

Church audio

2012-07-13T04:38:27Z

Axe: /* External links */

On 15 [[March 2009]], [[Robert Simmons V]] and an undercover [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] visit Chris's [[Chris and Religion|church]] and approach the [[Chris|manchild]] in the flesh unsuspectingly.

The '''audio recording''' of this event lasts 1:47:48. Throughout, Chris's voice is much louder than everyone else's.

Chris says he's keeping his distance from instant messages. He'd rather not talk about who hacked his Yahoo! account. [[Bob]] is there, but Chris reveals that [[Barbara]] usually stays home.

Chris excuses himself to leave Bob to talk to Robert for a few minutes. Bob talks about jerks on the internet, Chris's condition, and early video games. When Chris comes back, he realizes that it's funny both Bob and Robert have the same name.

Chris talks about Robert's trouble with finding a [[girlfriend]]. Chris has made the final decision to talk to local girls instead of ones on the [[Internet]]. He's gotten encouragement from [[Rocky]] with ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]''. He talked to seven girls just last Thursday at [[Alderman Library]], but got a fake number. Chris was emotionally prepared for the fake number thanks to ''[[Seinfeld]]''. Bob mentions the [[Sonichu Girls]] club.

Chris rambles on about ''[[Family Guy]]'' and Stewie quoting the Bible against [[homo]]sexuality. His copy of the bible with Leviticus is different from the church's because it was a graduation gift from Reverend Shin of the Korean church in Chesterfield County. Bob talks about his time in [[CWCville|North Korea]].

After asking Robert for a pen, Chris makes his signature and hands it to Robert, [[Chris and his ego|saying it could be valuable one day.]]

They start reciting verses and singing hymns for many minutes. Chris gets to pick a verse for everyone to sing. Bob gets the second pick. Then other people pick. Chris [[Autism|wails over everyone else]] in some of them.

Afterward, Robert reunites with the other troll. They drive away contemplating on Leviticus, raping [[Emily]] and other unrelated nonsense.

==Transcript==

===00:00:00 - Pre-Troll Warmup===
'''Robert Simmons V''': It's rolling now, so... (noise and pops) Is it recording still? Yes it is. Oh yeah. Not good. (a few seconds pass) Citizens of the Internet! This is Robert Simmons V, better known as Sonichufan1985, -1986 and now, -1987. I wish you all a good morning! The reason I am talking today on this voice recorder is to talk about about how I'm gonna meet Mr. Christian Chandler, my personal hero. Now, although if you're looking at my old account, Sonichufan1986, you would think that I don't like Mr. Chandler. That's a lie, a slanderous lie.

(unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Maybe I should just talk normal. You think he wouldn't even fuckin'...

'''Troll #1''': Okay, you heard Julie, right?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah

'''Troll #1''': So you heard that.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah. I'll just talk like he's probably still a threat.

'''Troll #1''': (Does an impersonation of Chris, unintelligible quote) "Window to hell". Did you hear about that quote?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah yeah yeah, there's this retard or something...?

'''Troll #1''': Yeah we were talking about it on IRC and (becomes unintelligible) he-he's kind of a window to hell... and he also said that people in wheelchairs are are mentally retarded. I know. Stephen Hawking?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Doesn't fucking matter. He's fucking retarded. Evil Shenanigans...

'''Troll #1''': He thinks Clyde took Julie hostage that one time.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah.

'''Troll #1''': He's like, "Ok, if you don't do-if you don't say you're gay I will lop off her arm," and he said "Oh, I-I'm a gaybian." Remember that?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, yeah.

'''Troll #1''': (laughs)

'''Troll #1''': (mockingly) I'm gay.

'''Robert Simmons V''': I'm gay.

'''Troll #1''': I'm gay.

(laughter)

'''Troll #1''': I'm a male lesbian.

(unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': I spoke to one of my friends after I called you and he's like, "That sucks." He's like, "Really?" (mocking) "No, not really..."

(laughter)

(random chatter, mostly unintelligible, much dealing with recent happenings with Chris)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Do you know what car he drives?

'''Troll #1''': Uh... probably the Son-chu car?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Do you remember what his parents drive?

'''Troll #1''': Shit, nah... I dunno.

(More chatter, Robert asks about a Pickle Suit)

===00:06:27 - A Wild Chris-Chan Appears===

(the sounds of people inside the church are heard)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Hi, I'm Robert!

'''Chris''': Robert Simmons the Fifth?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yes sir.

'''Chris''': Oh my God. Ni-Nice to meet ya.

'''Robert Simmons V''': That's good, that's good. I want to apologize my uh... my um Sonichufan1986 page was hacked by Clyde Cash, so... so I want to apologize for that in case I sent you weird emails or YouTube stuff.

'''Chris''': (chuckles) Well, I understand. Nice to meet you, Bob.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Is it okay if I come to church with you? I'm actually like here for us... you know, for my... vacation.

'''Chris''': Sure, you know. You're welcome.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh, Thank you.

'''Chris''': Did you uh talk to Elizabeth, our pastor?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh, no. Do you know where I can find her?

'''Chris''': Uh yeah, she's in her office if you want to go say hello.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Okay. (walking) Hi! I don't mean to bother, I'm just here to just uh... I'm actually, we're here on vacation meeting some people... Is it okay if I come to church though?

'''Elizabeth''': Of course!

'''Robert Simmons V''': Okay, awesome, thank you.

(more walking, random chatter)

'''Chris''': My dad... you know (drowned out by noise)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Is your mom... is coming as well? Or is she feeling sick?

'''Chris''': No... No, she usually stays home.

'''Robert Simmons V''': I see. So how's everything with you?

'''Chris''': [[Stress sigh|'sigh']] Things have been going good. Keepin'... Keeping my distance from the, ah, instant messages and whatnot. Kind of... you know. It's been peaceful. Unfortunately the Sonichu site has been... uh... has been down for uh... 'bout a week-r... 'bout a week or two. Since uh... Yeah since my Yahoo account got... got uh hacked into... and all tha-and all that jazz.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Mhm. Do you know who hacked it?

'''Chris''': 'sigh' Yep. But I'd rather-I'd rather not talk about it.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Okay. That's fine.

'''Chris''': So did you hear about uh... did you hear about my recent, uh... internet romance with uh... [[BlueSpike#Julie|Julie Movanya]]?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Let me turn off my cell phone... Um...

===00:09:18 - In Walked Bob===

'''Chris''': Yeah, me too... Oh, [[Bob Chandler|Dad]], this is Robert Simmons the Fifth, one of my Sonichu fans!

'''Robert Simmons V''': How's it going, Mr. Chandler?

'''Chris''': This is my father, Robert.

'''Bob Chandler''': Let me just go on by ya here... Let me just go on by ya here...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh, thank you sir.

'''Chris''': (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': How is everything?

'''Bob Chandler''': I'm good.

'''Robert Simmons V''': That's good.

'''Chris''': I'll let you two chat for a bit, I've gotta go (unintelligible)

'''Bob Chandler''': Chris is really into that stuff.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, so... Yeah... I'm sure that, like... I've heard there's, like, a lot of things going on, though.

'''Bob Chandler''': Yeah, he's got enemies all over the world.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah...

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah... it's just a lot of jerks online.

'''Bob Chandler''': I'm 81... and I've seen a lot of things in my life, and I've done a lot. But uh, whenever you're successful at something, from my experience, there are people that don't like that and they're out to get you for it.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, people can't, you know, appreciate some success and be happy for them you have to feel jealousy for it though...

'''Bob Chandler''': (laughs) Yeah, they want to knock you down.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah.

'''Bob Chandler''': Yeah, you know he's a high-functioning autistic, but he's come a looong way. I can remember, I was ticked off when he was six, and we were working with him and we didn't know what was wrong with him, and yet he didn't have the diagnosis.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Mhm.

'''Bob Chandler''': I have a Commodore 64. If you've ever heard of those...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, yeah! Um, my-my dad had one of those though, he also had... I think it's called Amiga?

'''Bob Chandler''': That's an actual system. Anyway, I taught him how to do that, and he was loading discs on that Commodore 64 and playing with it before he could talk.

'''Robert Simmons V''': (laughs)

'''Bob Chandler''': And of course after that... they came along with all sorts of video games.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, yeah.

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible) We got one of the first Nintendos... (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, I know how that is.

'''Bob Chandler''': I remember this one, what did they call it? Mario (pronounces it as Mare-rio) World?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, I've heard of that.

'''Bob Chandler''': That one's I spent 150-200 levels... and and after I got through King Koopa... I couldn't get off of Yoshi's Island... and I'm an engineer... or was. I'm retired now.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Uh huh.

'''Bob Chandler''': And I couldn't remember how to get off of Yoshi's Island... I couldn't remember what was coming next, well he got up to King Koopa in two days.

'''Chris''': (suddenly reappears) Haha, did you get a copy of this week's bulletin?

'''Bob Chandler''': He gets these games and I'm the one who ends up [[Monthly tugboat|paying for them]] and he keeps them-

'''Robert Simmons V''': Haha, there's always renting, though. So... you could just go to Blockbuster and rent games for a couple days.

'''Bob Chandler''': I wish he'd do that, it'd save him some money.

'''Chris''': Hmm.

'''Bob Chandler''': Save me some money...

'''Chris''': Father, game's not so easy to beat nowadays... plus they take a lot of effort.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, that is true.

'''Bob Chandler''': You go to school here?

'''Robert Simmons V''': No, um I actually live in Christiansburg, So I'm meeting some-

'''Bob Chandler''': You live in Christiansburg?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yes sir.

'''Bob Chandler''': That's a long drive.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yes sir, it is.

'''Chris''': Yeah...

'''Bob Chandler''': That's up there near VPI, right?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yes sir, Virginia Tech.

'''Bob Chandler''': I was in Roanoke for a lot of years.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh, really?

'''Bob Chandler''': I worked for GE down there for about 15 years, then got transferred to, uh, (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Mhm.

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible) I like the Johnson area, it's beautiful there.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Very pretty. Yeah, I was driving down here this-uh, this morning though and I was surprised though. I-I've never really been here (unintelligible) I have a couple of friends here, and... it was really foggy though. Um, I believe that it was 64?

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah.

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

===00:14:26 - The Love Quest Continues===

'''Chris''': (interrupts) Oh...Hey, uh father did uh Bob here tell ya that uh... you know it's funny you both are named Robert; better yet you could both be called Bob! Yeah, anyway uh... he-uh he's been having trouble finding himself girlfriends too.

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah, by the way Bob, by the way Bob, uh, for your information, uh... I've actually uh... after I spaced myself from the internets I made the fond decision to go back into uh local areas and start talking to girls, so I go-got some encouragement from Rocky. I also uh, I looked at this little uh, short picture-short uh red picture book by uh... that came from a 9-year old. Called "How to Talk to Girls".

'''Robert Simmons V''': hmm. mhm.

'''Chris''': It's by... Alec... Goldwin? Something like that? Anywa-Anyway it's like ten dollars. It's a good book.

'''Bob Chandler''': You should tell him he's gotta (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': yeah... Isn't there a dating service? That... isn't there? I'm sure there's a dating services around here, right?

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, yeah.

'''Chris''': Anyway, I talked to seven girls, uh, this last Thursday over at uh... Alderman Library. So that was-that was a big start for me. I mana-I managed to get a phone number out of one of them but unfortunately it was a fa-Unfortunately it was a bad number. You know...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Maybe, did you...

'''Chris''': The number wasn't-It wasn't a number that was in service.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh...

'''Bob Chandler''': (In the background, unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': mhm.

'''Chris''': F-F-Fortunately I was prepared for that... you know. (pause) Anyway I was emotionally prepared for that, you know 'cause I'd seen a similar situation in an episode of ''[[Seinfeld]]''... where... it was one where Elaine was giving was giving a fake phone number to most of the guys she met? And it went to this, uh... racing bet booth? And she's try-and at the end of the episode she's trying to... she-wrote the number on the back of her-on the back of a card that she ha-that she's like once punch away from getting a free sub! And she wanted that free sub!

'''Robert Simmons V''': (laughs)

'''Chris''': It's a funny episode... it's a funny episode... you watch ''[[Seinfeld]]''?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Um... I used to, though, but, I don't think- at least where I'm from- they don't really show it anymore though.

'''Chris''': You can find it on the FOX stations or TBS...

'''Robert Simmons V''': oh, okay.

'''Chris''': Yeah, actually you know two back-to-back episodes most every night 7, 7:30 on TBS.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Mhm... they also have Family Guy on TBS.

'''Chris''': Yeah, hey. Did you see the latest episode of Family Guy?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Probably not, no... I don't think so, it was-

'''Chris''': It was last Sun-it was last Sunday. They isolated - and injected into Peter - the gay gene.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh really?

'''Chris''': It lasted for only two and a half weeks. Durli-d-d-during th-during like the first quarter of the-ah the episode, Peter bought for two dollars... a [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally challenged]] horse. Brain damaged. It was like-he was li-he always gave him like this blank stare...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Uh huh... so what'd he do with the horse?

'''Chris''': (chuckles) He put th-He put the horse in the race and then the horse-

'''Robert Simmons V''': Did it win?

'''Chris''': No.

'''Robert Simmons V''': (laughs)

'''Chris''': No, but the horse ran into the crowd and, uh, cause a whole bunch of chaos and then the horse died of a heart attack from the excitement.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Ohhh.

'''Chris''': And Peter chucked it into Mort's drug store... Mort's pharmacy.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Ahh... Hmm.

'''Chris''': And Mort's was like, "Oh, I like the days where they'd just throw... they'd just throw uh poo in a bag," and uh...

'''Bob Chandler''': (In the background, unintelligible)

===00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible===

'''Chris''': Yeah but anyway, later on in- but anyway... Ahh but anyway later on in the same episode, uh Stewie... brings up a quote... from the Bible, That pretty much uh... spells out for-spells out best in a nutshell, which I did a short-

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, I saw that though... Leviticus?

'''Chris''': Yeah, Leviticus 18:22. 'sigh' Right there. "No man will lie with a man as one lies with a woman. It is detestable." And then you can read the, uh... read the uh beforehand about uh... what was said to Moses, yadda yadda yadda, and then in the end what happens to those who... commit any of these uh... rules that are unlawful... in sexual relations includi-including animals. Doing it with animals, that's-that's just... detestable and bogus...

'''Robert Simmons V''': What page is that? 101?

'''Chris''': No no, it's- uh, well, mine's a different bible from theirs but you're-you're in the right area. Leviticus 18:22.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Alright...

'''Chris''': Yeah, my Bible is uh... different from the church's, uh... from this church's bible. I got mine from our uh... Reverend Shin of the uh... Korean church in Chesterfield County, dad?

'''Bob Chandler''': That's right. It was Presbyterian... I wonder where they come for church... anyway they're mostly Presbyterian...

'''Chris''': Yeah...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Mhm.

'''Chris''': Anyway, it was a graduation gift from them.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh.

'''Bob Chandler''': (mostly unintelligible, what can be heard mentions spending time in North Korea)

'''Chris''': Yeah, North Korea in the Signal Corps, right dad?

'''Bob Chandler''': Before the Korean war, I was in Korea (the rest of the story becomes unintelligible due to crowd noise)

'''Chris''': I will!

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh, okay.

'''Bob Chandler''': (assumed he continues his story, unintelligible due to crowd noise)

As Bob continues his story, Chris mumbles something, probably looking through the Bible.

'''Chris''': Oh, Chapter One... 18.

Bob continues talking, while Chris mumbles a bit more and does a "hmm" now and again. We hear shuffling through the pocket where the recorder is hidden.

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Um...

'''Bob Chandler''': Blacksburg is over... over by there, isn't it?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, they're-they're... Christiansburg and Blacksburg are right next to each other. Um... I had to go to 81 before I could get to 64.

'''Chris''': Hmmm.

'''Bob Chandler''': Yeah, 81 goes for a while then you make a turn and go north. (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, real foggy too and-

'''Bob Chandler''': You drove down this morning, then?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, fog and-I-I was wondering why they had lights on the road until it's all...

'''Bob Chandler''': Well now you know... Yeah, that's... that's a pretty good drive (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Hmmm.

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, it's about two and a half.

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': (chuckles)

'''Chris''': Hmmm.

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': (laughs)

'''Chris''': Hmmm.

'''Bob Chandler''': That's the big blue ridge where we are... we live... we live just north of here in Ruckersville, and off to the west (unintelligible) about seven-eight miles (unintelligible)... you can see it from our front door.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Hmm.

'''Bob Chandler''': In fact, the western edge of it goes right along the parkway.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh, really?

'''Chris''': Uh Bob, would you-would you like to sign the registration pad?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Sure.

'''Chris''': Ju-Just sign it on this line, and you can optionally put in your phone number and address-

'''Robert Simmons V''': Okay.

'''Chris''': -You don't have to.

'''Robert Simmons V''': ...Alright.

===00:23:38 - The Service Begins===

'''Robert Simmons V''': Here, you can have that back.

'''Chris''': Thanks... oh, just put it back in the pew.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh, okay.

'''Chris''': There's one in the pew.

(30 seconds later...)

'''Chris''': Hey, lemme see your pen for a second there, Bob.

(30 seconds later...)

'''Chris''': There ya are. You hold onto that, 'cause that could be valuable one day.

'''Robert Simmons V''': ...Sure.

(something is mentioned about the piano needing to be fixed, it is turned into a joke about firewood)

'''Chris''': Aww.

'''Chris''': That's horrible.

===00:26:19-1:33:00 - Churching Highlights===

'''00:28:37 (Chris is chosen to pick a Hymn)'''

'''Chris''': Ah... let's do verse one of 733.

(Chris chooses Marching to Zion and sings loudly and off-key)

===00:29:50 (Bob picks a Hymn)===

'''Bob Chandler''': 95.

'''Elizabeth''': 95?

'''Bob Chandler''': (unintelligible)

'''Elizabeth''': 95... and do you have a favorite verse?

'''Bob Chandler''': The one and only.

'''Elizabeth''': There's only one?

(People in the church chuckle while Chris laughs loudly)

(The Hymn starts and Chris once again sings loudly and off-key)

(A Hymn with a ridiculous page number is called out)

'''Chris''': I'm looking... 2235 B? Oh. Oh, here it is.

(Chris continues to sing the rest of the hymns off-key and loudly)

===00:48:15 (Other High Functioning Autistics)===

(Elizabeth is talking about a new family in the parish)

'''Chris''': Dawson is their, uh... their autistic son. He's high functioning autistic.

===01:33:35 - TTE: TACTICAL TROLL EXTRACTION===
'''Not Elizabeth''': Hi, your name's Robert?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yes.

'''Not Elizabeth''': Very nice to meet you. Very good to have you here today!

'''Robert Simmons V''': Thank you. I like this place, a lot.

'''Not Elizabeth''': Good! Well, hope you come back some day!

(Chris and Robert are talking. It is impossible to understand them due to the organ)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Okay, well you take it easy, okay?

'''Chris''': (unintelligible due to crowd noise)

(much of the rest of the conversation is unintelligible because of the crowd)

'''Chris''': Well, you take care, okay?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Okay.

===01:36:04 - "That's that"===

'''Robert Simmons V''': You know, it's very odd 'cause... for such a progressive church though, he was reading Leviticus and shit. Well... he got that from Family Guy.

'''Troll #1''': He looks... for any justification he can find. So what did he say to you?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh nothing... we were just talking and shit, yeah. He told me... like, he knew I was in Australia or some bullshit?

(both break into laughter)

'''Robert Simmons V''': I got a souvenir too, by the way. By-By the way, I need to turn off the goddamn thing...

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, whatever, I mean...

'''Robert Simmons V''': (commenting on traffic)...I should have gone... oh well.

'''Troll #1''': Fuckin' awesome. Haha.

'''Robert Simmons V''': I met him, I... you know, I have his cell phone number, which I guess, like, everyone already has.

'''Troll #1''': Yeah.

'''Robert Simmons V''': So I think I might actually call him on my cellphone. Hopefully like he won't give it away...

'''Troll #1''': Probably not.

'''Robert Simmons V''': I don't know... Pretty badass, huh?

'''Troll #1''': Yeah.

(both break into laughter)

'''Troll #1''': I think he'll recognize me when I steal his girl, when I steal his date.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Ugh... well, maybe you should get makeup or something. Green, green makeup.

'''Troll #1''': I... I don't really give a fuck.

 '''Robert Simmons V''': I do! Fuck, man! (laughs)

'''Troll #1''': No no no I don't think he'll connect me and you.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Well, okay. Well maybe, you know, that would explain your spying on us, like that would explain the recordings and shit, you know?

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah.

(both laugh)

'''Robert Simmons V''': You'd better edit this shit to where I'm not saying "shit", you know it's always like, it's always like, it's always like...

'''Troll #1''': (makes noise)

(both laugh)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh, God... I don't want Clyde to have this shit image because he seemed like such a nice guy, dude!

'''Troll #1''': Aww!

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh yeah, look at this... did you see this?

(It can be assumed Robert is showing the Troll the signature given to him by Chris)

(both laugh)

'''Troll #1''': Oh my God...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh yeah, look at this... did you see this?

'''Troll #1''': Well, I wrote down, um... what, uh... which...what things he recommended...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah.

'''Troll #1''': Marching to Zion, and Bob suggested Praise God from All... From all of our Saints Blood.

'''Robert Simmons V''': This just... what's so funny, what's so interesting I find is Bob, you know, the Lumberjack, is bad-ass, though. He's a really pleasant guy, though.

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, yeah.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Um... the only problem I feel sorry for is he tried to justify like Chris and shit. Like, apparently like back when he was 6 he couldn't even talk.

'''Troll #1''': Yeah?

'''Robert Simmons V''': And uh, you know, 'cause he's fucking autistic.

'''Troll #1''': Right, right... God has a mute button on him, that's what he says.

'''Robert Simmons V''': ...What?

'''Troll #1''': Chris says that God put the mute button on him.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh... well, yeah. Anyways, um... other than being really SHITTY by the way, everybody - It's still all recording - Anyways... hopefully this will provide some entertainment for people, I dunno. But anyways, so um... what the hell am I saying? oh yeah - so um... (laughs) God... DAMN! (laughs) That dude, you know... you know, it seemed like, "What the hell, is that guy wearing a fucking Hardees jacket? You know, that guy looks really fucking sketchy as hell!" (troll laughs) And I go, "Mr. Chandler?" And he go-And he didn't know me for a second. "I'm Robert Simmons Fifth", and h-and he knew me, it's like, and he still thinks I'm awesome!

(both laugh)

'''Robert Simmons V''': I'm so happy! you know...

'''Troll #1''': Aw yeah, that's awesome.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah... but he gave me his cell phone number which I've-I have to call him up. I can't wait to show my fucking buddies at Tech, man.

(both laugh)

'''Troll #1''': That's pretty funny, man!

(both laugh)

'''Robert Simmons V''': I don't kn-I would lend it to you if you have a scanner or something like that...

'''Troll #1''': I don't have a scanner.

'''Robert Simmons V''': I'll have to scan it at my, uh... at my fucking campus.

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, it's cool, man... fucking awesome. You have a piece of internet history right here.

(both laugh)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh my God... comin' from the guy who's driving a fucking white truck with the Obama sticker yeahhhhhh... I'm so happy I didn't have to do, (in Robert Simmons YouTube voice) "MR. CHANDLER!", you know? I'm so happy. I guess you can contribute that to being really nervous online or something like that, but... anyways, apparently Robert the Lumberjack, before he was a lumberjack, I should say - He was an engineer, worked for like GE, and he's been like-

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, yeah.

'''Robert Simmons V''': So he's pretty badass...

'''Troll #1''': Well well, he k-well, Chris keeps on going on about how Bob invented plastic. That's what he tells people.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh shit.

'''Troll #1''': He tells people that Bob invented that. Now what Bob actually did was... he designed the controls for one of th- for one of th-the first plastic molding machines.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Mmhm.

'''Troll #1''': Now... I think that probably Bob was probably just some sort of like low-level engineer or some shit like that... Now he's a cool guy, I'm just saying, I don't think-

'''Robert Simmons V''': He's not the plastic maker...

'''Troll #1''': Yeah.

'''Robert Simmons V''': That's more like, chemistry, I would think.

'''Troll #1''': You could probably take another person, another engineer and replace Bob with him and you'd get the exact same fucking thing.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah...

'''Troll #1''': Now, Bob's a cool guy, Bob's a, Bob's a lovable guy.

'''Robert Simmons V''': He is so... He is so awesome, though. Seriously. I actually, you know, I think people might be pissed when they're hearing this shit, 'cause like... I actually talked more to Bob 'cause he was interesting as fuck, though, and like, you know telling me about like the Commodore 64 and how, you know, before fucking Chris could speak, he was playing video games, though. And how, according to him (Bob voice) "124 levels, tryin' to get to Koopa" And he pulls out Yoshi's Island and I'm like, "Dude, you're talking about fuckin' four different games, dumbass." But, whatever, you know, he's old... I could see me saying that to my grandma, "Yeah, whatever grandma... Japan's awesome. Right." So...

(both laugh)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Aww... goddamn. I should really stop this, but oh well. Like, the tape is...

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, whatever...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Anyways, um... so, yeah. Hopefully they'll like hear it all, though. Bob, I can definitely tell it's gonna be really hard to hear 'em. So...

'''Troll #1''': ...an Asian market and (unintelligible)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, it was surprising...

'''Troll #1''': Yeah?

'''Robert Simmons V''': A lotta weeaboos here in fuckin... UVA shit, man.

'''Troll #1''': Yeah?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, I would assu-I don't know, I'm sure there's a, you know...

'''Troll #1''': There's weeaboos everywhere. Yeah...

'''Robert Simmons V''': There's a fun-there's these two shops called The Beholder's Eye and Fun & Games, two different shops and they, like pander to the Warhammer crowd and shit?

'''Troll #1''': Yeah?

'''Robert Simmons V''': So... which I'm not like, you know, against per-say, it's too nerdy for me though but I like the story and shit but I'm not gonna pay money for like you know fucking models and shit.

'''Troll #1''': Well, yeah b-

'''Robert Simmons V''': If Centennial's hearing this, like, if she will hear this and shit, yeah, fuck you, Centennial.

'''Troll #1''': (laughs)

'''Robert Simmons V''': Dawn of War's better.

'''Troll #1''': W-well like I'm a huge computer nerd and shit like that, and I would've, there's like so much shit that I want to get into, but I don't have the money and time...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah.

'''Troll #1''': Like my fucking classes? Fucking raping me.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, I'm also fuckin- I'm a fucktard with [[computers]] and shit, though. I'm relatively new. Should have, like... Should've seen me, and I like... I mean I talk to Cameron all the time though 'cause she's the most helpful, like, she's all motherly and shit.

'''Troll #1''': (laughs) Yeah...

'''Robert Simmons V''': So like, (Robert Simmons YouTube voice) "Uh, how do I do thiiiis?" I'm like Chris-Chan, you know, with fucking.

'''Troll #1''': You see, in high school for years... I couldn't drive? And like... my aunt didn't want to take me places?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah.

'''Troll #1''': So all I did in my spare time was program, like, in my room. I just sat there and programmed 24/7. So I'm really fucking good at programming. That's the only thing I'm good at. I didn't play video games 'cause I couldn't play video games so all I did was program.

'''Robert Simmons V''': What time is it, by the way?

'''Troll #1''': It's... 12:23.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Alright. I guess... we can go find PetSmart but I wanna find it online, first.

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, okay.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yes, we'll go see [[Emily|that bitch]].

'''Troll #1''': (laughs) it's gonna be a long time...

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, so... you don't even know what she looks like, right?

'''Troll #1''': Uh, no I don't know what she looks like. She blurred out her face in um... She put signs on his front lawn that said like, "Love, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]" or some shit like that or [[Jimmy Hill]] or something like that. I know it at least said Encyclopedia Dramatica. She put pictures on his lawn and there's just pictures of her standing there looking like a dumbass... and um...

'''Robert Simmons V''': What a dumb bitch. Bottom line: She should be raped.

(both break into laughter)

'''Robert Simmons V''': We're gonna edit that shit out!

'''Troll #1''': But yeah, so um... (unintelligible) I'm just so fucking pumped to just stroll in there and say, "Hey Chris" or my buddy was saying, "Hey buddy, uh, mind if I talk to your sister here real quick?"

'''Robert Simmons V''': No, I don't know... hopefully he'll, like, he'll not... no, he's too stupid to put two and two together. I'm still safe.

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, yeah yeah... and if he started to he'd be like, "BOB, ARE YOU IN LEAGUE WITH THE PICKLE MAN?" and you'd be like, "No,"

'''Robert Simmons V''': No...

'''Troll #1''': "He tricked me!" and he'd be like, "Okay, okay..."

'''Robert Simmons V''': Is this... the place? No? It's not, fuck it. I gotta get some gas anyways. Shit... oh, there it is! That's the thing, it's so far away, it's like..., it's like off the road it's like "Am I... going to the right place?" Hmm. So. I think they're just going to go home then, I don't know. How was that church by the way? 'Cause... fuck!

'''Troll #1''': Boring as hell.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah... I mean, I'm really surprised that the bitch was really progressive...

'''Troll #1''': Yeah.

'''Robert Simmons V''': It's mind boggling that Chris, like the first thing he showed me was Leviticus 18 about the...

'''Troll #1''': Wait... he showed you where?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Well, sitting with him and shit.

'''Troll #1''': Are you serious, he brought up fucking Leviticus? What the fuck? (Chris impression) "MAN WILL NOT LIE WITH ANOTHER MAN!"

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah...

'''Troll #1''': Are you fucking kidding me?

'''Robert Simmons V''': No, no... it's in here. so...

'''Troll #1''': Holy... Holy flying fuck. I know he did it in the video. This is in fucking real life? In fucking church?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Yeah, it's weird, too, because like, he got sort of from getting from the pastor, who obviously is, you know, very progressive.

'''Troll #1''': She was just talking about how you could like, "Doodily doodily do, laws don't matter, that's okay whatever."

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, exactly.

(both laugh)

'''Robert Simmons V''': "I CAN SAY 'FUCK' 'CAUSE IT'S THA DEVIL!" Yeah, I've heard preachers say, "YOU TELL THAT DEVIL TO GO TO HELL. WHAT? IT'S LEGAL!" so...

'''Troll #1''': Well, we have, um, we have one of those open air... well we have an open preacher who comes to my college every now and then.

'''Robert Simmons V''': Mmhm.

'''Troll #1''': And one of these days while he's there I wanna just go out and like hand out like pamphlets saying about... how like all of the health benefits of masturbation, right?

'''Robert Simmons V''': Oh yeah.

'''Troll #1''': And I'll be in my pickle suit, walking around like, I'm looking like a complete jackass. Who are they gonna pay attention to? You know, the guy who's telling me to go to hell or the guy who's telling how how good it is to touch your ding dong?

'''Robert Simmons V''': It's still going, an hour forty-seven... here you go. I'm retarded when it comes to electronics. (in the background) ...got his phone number and shit...

'''Troll #1''': Yeah, shit man.

'''Robert Simmons V''': If you've got a green (unintelligible) show it to me, alright?

'''Troll #1''': Yeah.

[[Category:Trolling]]

== External links ==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTXXtxq6AnI&feature=channel_video_title Audio on YouTube]

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?iwldnjimezz Full church audio]

([[Angelica|May God have mercy on your pitiful soul.]])

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Megan emails, Jan-July 2007

2012-07-13T04:38:12Z

Axe: /* Gallery */

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails exchanged by [[Megan]] and Chris from January through [[July 2007]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Chris apologizes for being a douche===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Mon, 5 Mar 2007 9:01:29 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Re: Alright

Hey, Megan. To start... the manga, the ponies and the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] CD; that works for me. Cool; [[Wikipedia:Pink Panther|Pink Panther]] it is then. I'm certain that you all will enjoy the jugs/washboards/kazoos and boogie-woogie that my papa shared back in [[1990]] on [[Wikipedia:WTJU|WTJU]].

And... I am sorry that I hurt your feelings; I didn't mean to, and I was not being contradicting. Also, I did not "dismiss" the story, I just gave it consideration, and I offered my honest and open opinion about it. I did picture your Skitty in your Metune outfit, and I can honestly say that it is a cute idea. :) I just feel that the permament (or the world-switch) transformation rubs me the wrong way... How about this, let's say your future daughter is transformed into the skitty of Team Courage, and she and her team time-travel back to aide you and me in our battles and steps towards the future (kind of a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Chibi-Usa]] situation). And this would happen after we get the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Crystal Sonichu Balls]] together, get [[Sister|my imiginary sister]] out of the mirror, awaken [[Darkbind|Darkbind's]] [[Princess Zelina]] and put an end to [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] terror. You can provide the new set of villians that [[Reldnach Notsew Naitsirhc]] will recruit (after having left the hospital). Also, Houndour and Absol... let's put Hound-Howl and Apocolypse in those shoes (with the random evolution to Pending Doom and Devolution Spray that Skitty will have). And I'm not so sure about [[Wikipedia:Charmander|Charmander]] on the team... could you go with a [[Wikipedia:Vaporeon|Vaporeon]], and draw him/her like Hound-Howl or Apocolypse (making a better balanced type-match for the team... Normal, Water, Fire and Dark vs. Normal, Fire X2 and Dark (they would be more weak against ground or water attacks). Does that work better for you? I support your cute and fun ideas as much as possible, and I feel a little sad from having hurt your feelings... I'd like to put a smile on my favorite friend's face. :)

Also, how do you feel of the idea of [[Megagi]] and [[Bionic]] dating behind the comic?

And I am flattered that you said that I am a [[Chris and writing|good storyteller]]; thank you so much. :)

Still caringly fond of you; 
Chris Chan.

P.S.

Did you read the part in the latest episode where [[Black Sonichu]] tells [[Sonichu]] about [[Reldnahc]] having put whipped cream in his rocket boosters? In the original drawing, he said "[[semen|some creamy stuff]]", in reference to Reldnach being the TOTALLY opposite of me.}}

===Megan gives Chris a lesson in canine anatomy===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3@velocitus.net 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 6 Mar 2007 
Subject: Great

Ok, then it's settled. I have one request about making a femine Houndour design. Whether or not you've noticed NONE of my original female characters have....breasts. And the reason is because they are more animalish, they have what [[Pattie]] had, six nursing tools. I just don't believe in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|giving animals that kind of human quality]]. Although my girls and boys wear clothes, I give them no undergarments. When you think about it- when pets get dressed up, they don't have [[Dirty, crapped briefs|underwear]] either. 
With that said, to me it gives my animal characters a more purist appeal. 
And despite walking upright, talking, and wearing clothes, they still have animal instincts--[[Chris Sex Videos|hissing and growling]], [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|grooming with their tongues]], you get the idea.

SO, I will give the hound version of myself eyelashes, maybe jewelry and a ribbon. I wish to have no visible [[Manboobs|you-know-whats]], please. I just wanted to share with you where I stand when I create characters.

Tonight I'll be creating and giving you the drafts on Friday. 
I CAN'T WAAAAIIT for the Klonoa cd's!!! I hope they come soon! 
See ya! 
~Megan}}

===Another email from the "Seriously Stop Fucking Touching Me" collection===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3@velocitus.net 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 30 April 2007 
Subject: hey

Yes. of course I knew there was an Act 0! Remember that dvd set auction I told you about? One of the reasons I wanted it was because it also included a dvd with Act 0 and Special Act. 
NO i'm NOT a money-hungry type. Like I said my account is used for art supplies and such, I can't spent it all on ebay. Which is why I ask you since I can give you cash and or uneeded goodies. ;) I ask if you're [[Monthly tugboat|financially stable]] cause I don't want to be like I'M the reason you're "broke", you know? But you did by a [[PS3]]... I hope I'm not a money burden...thank you for the PS2 and dvd's! John loves his stuff and especially the Gundam plush!

Anyway, yeah 2 months is a bit of time but you're lucky then, Should John have chosen the school in Florida it would have been 2 years! 
I understand your feelings, but please consider mine, I'm miserably unhappy here. I need to broaded my horizons. I have no life here. But I doubt we're moving anyway.

One more thing, PLEASE minimize your touchy-ness. You KNOW WELL I dislike it, and I keep reminding you. Understand I'm not angry, but annoyed and a bit disapointed. I remember you said you'd NEVER do it again and yet... I know you're just being friendly and all but I really hate being touched....by [[Chris|anyone]]!

Also, the moon cd's are wonderful thank you so much! Looking forward to the karaoke cd's!!

Thank you for the time and effort! 
Talk to you later! 
~Megan ;)}}

===Chris on ''Soul Calibur'', and a shitty poem===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Mon, 7 May 2007 12:41:54 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Re: wheee!

Well, I just heard that the person of RareRomance will have just sent the cards, so maybe by this coming or the next Friday you will have your cards. :)

Another issue, I've just recorded a Battle Theatere from [[Soul Calibur]] 3 featuring you Vs. [[Wikipedia:Yoshimitsu|Yosimitsu]], as well as me Vs. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and a couple of others. I will have the [[Speech Impediment|Battle Thetere]] shows in MP4 format soon, and all you to watch them this coming Friday on my [[PSP]]. I've unlocked all the Custom Character Jobs, so everyone is at the highest role. I started your character as a Ninja, which later unlocked Assassan, which later unlocked Samurai; you are now Samurai Class. I started as a Saint ([[Chris and ego|because that sounded like basically who I am]]), then I've got upgraded to Sage (no more beyond that). Also available were Thief >>> Pirate, Barbarian >>> Gladiator >>> Knight, Dancer, Monk, and the topper, Swordsmaster.

Each Job has a specific number of compatable weapons. Like for you, as Ninja: Kunai, Katana & Shuriken, Sickle (flexible), and weapons of Taki & Setsuka. Then as Assassin: Wave Sword, Iron Sword, Chinese Sword, and weapons of Lizardman and Tira. And NOW as Samurai: Katana (only), Katana & Shuriken, Sickle (flexible), and Weapons of Mitsurugi and Yoshimitsu. :D

I, as Saint, welded: Staff (Personal Weapon of Choice), Dagger, Steel Fan, and Weapons of Zasalamel and Talim. Now as Sage I get: Chinese Blade, Sword & Shield, Staff, and Weapons of Sophita and Casandra.

The list of weapons for each job were listed from lowest level earned to highest (Lv1, Lv10, Lv20 and Lv30). And my source of information: GameInformer.com.

BTW, [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] was started as Barbarian, and now is Knight. Also, there was not enough room for "Schroder" in the name spaces, so for both of you, it was shortened to "Schroe"; nothing personal.

Well, enough Soul 3 talk. Let me ask you something, and John may input his opinion for this question as well, Have either of you played [[Wikipedia:Gauntlet II|Gauntlet 2]] or [[Wikipedia:Rampart (arcade game)|Rampart]]? I am asking, because the two games are avilable in the [[PSN]]etwork Store, downloable to [[PS3]]. And I wanted your feedback if either or both of you played either one.

Oh, I did download the new Super Rub-a-Dub game; it is so cute and fun. With the [[Wikipedia:Sixaxis|Sixaxis]], I rotate and shake a tub with the hero Rubber Duckie, and guide it to collect the trapped smaller ducks and lead them to the Drain Exit. And I have to stay away from the wind-up toy Sharks, unless I'm playing the bonus level as the shark and I would have to eat the ducks.

Well, if you find a website where the [[Sailor Moon|PGSM]] episode are downloable with the appropriate format, let me know and I'll get to work on that. Otherwise, I'm killin' time on PS3 or PSP or DS, or with family. Here's a cute rhyme-scheme I've made up recently (inspired by a Wii Comercial):

"On your (GBA) SP, 
create your Mii, 
and play it on Wii, 
with your PSP, 
hooked to the PS3, 
because it's fun see?"

Okay, I'll check in again later, and I await your next E-Mail. You all take care.

I'm thinkin' of you fondly, sweetie; 
Chris Chan. 
OXOXOX}}

===Megan talks about her infatuation with a game character===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3@velocitus.net 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 4 June 2007 
Subject: Re: Cool.

Great. I'll be on the look out for the [[Transformers]].

Now it doesn't surprise me that the Japanese title was [[Soulcalibur|Soul Edge]]. In Tekken 3, one of the battlegrounds is a backstreet type place with graffiti. And an Especially large spraypainted logo "SoulEdge" adorns the fence behind you.

I'm sure you wonder....and even I wonder...why is this weirdly dressed alien such my most favorite fighter?

It probably started back when I had Tekken2, I was 10 or 11. Back then you had more tolerance for all the characters and I played as anybody and everybody. But there was something about [[Wikipedia: Yoshimitsu_(Namco)|Yoshimitsu]]'s costume that "spoke" to me. I liked his threatning [sic] expressed mask, and his Japanese hat. I just liked the way he looked all-around. And he has a good personality. He's like a Robin Hood. He helps the poor and travels a path of righteousness. But at the same time he is obsessed with [[Video_games|arcades]] and [[internet]]! Moving back to helping the poor. He will lend a hand to anyone in need. But I like how he's not liberal. If he helps someone and they turn on him....he will come after them and kill them if needed.

So anyway, eventually as I grew older and developed more tastes I narrowed down my choice of fighters to Yoshimitsu. I feel like I have this "bond" when I choose him. Like Yugi and his Dark Magician. I hope this doesn't sound silly but I feel "close" to Yoshimitsu and he is very dear and special to me. 
I believe Tekken6 comes out this Nov. on [[PS3]]. If you consider getting it for yourself, I only ask for you not to play Yoshimitsu, ONLY to unlock his movie. I feel like I can't share him with anyone else. Do I sound crazy?

Well so that's it I guess. I'll probably see you Wed. then 
~Megan 
PS is the Jacob's Ladder plant in [[Animal_Crossing|AnimalCrossing]] ([[DS]]) considered a weed? Cause it wilts like other flowers.}}

===Chris talks about Megan while she's away===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 27 Jun 2007 5:57:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey Megan,

I hope you are having a safe trip to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]] at this time.

As for me, it's not bad here. I'm finishing up copying the G1 [[Transformers]] episodes to DVD-Rs. I've learned I could download games/demos from the JAPANESE Playstation Store (I had to create a Japanese account, with a made-up street address). It's cool, I've downloaded free demos of [[Wikipedia:Folklore (video game)|Folklore]], [[Wikipedia:Everybody's Golf 5|Everyone's Golf 5]] and the Playstation1 Demo of XI Sai (a dice game (it can be copied for play on PSP)). And this game I'm learning about that is internet based (similar to the upcoming Home), from the Dokidemo title (the import Cat game on PSP). I'm going to see if I can learn more on GameFaqs.com.

Also, I've learned from the US Playstation website about a NEW [[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|Gundam]] title coming soon for PS3 (hopefully rated better than Crossfire) titled "[[Wikipedia:Dynasty Warriors: Gundam|Dynasty Warriors: Gundam]]". Apparently its gameplay will be based on the previous Dynasty Warriors games, but the Gundams will be the main playable mechs. FYI, I've purchased the [[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire|Crossfire]] game during Gamestop's Game Days sale for practically a steal at $29.99.

I have de-weeded [[CWCville|Cwcville]], and I'm working on getting it back in shape. I look forward to our first Wi-Fi visit; please let me know the date and time YOU or I should have your/my gate open. By the way, my DS's touch screen in the middle is out of order; I won't be able to touch the "g" key, so I will have to type the letters with my control pad and A button (it may be slower).

I will await your E-Mail, or I may check in again later. You all take care.

Thinkin' of you fondly and sweetly; 
Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

===Chris is sad about Patti===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Thu, 28 Jun 2007 9:22:44 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

I lost a bit of sleep last night, because I remembered that yesterday (June 27), one year ago, [[Patti]] passed away. I cried for a while, with [[barb|my mom]], being reminded of the Burdens hardest to bear; I'm fine now. Funny side-stories, I didn't remember till just after I hit the sack, but earlier I was playing [[Guitar Hero]] to complete the Hard Mode. One song to go, "[[Wikipedia:Bark at the Moon|Bark At The Moon]]"; I said to myself that this one was for Patti. And before that, my mother suggested we go to [[Wikipedia:American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals|the SPCA]], in addition to finding about the upcoming Rummage Sale, we'd look at the puppies. Subconsiously, we were, without realizing it, being reminded of this one-year anniversary. At least now, Patti's resting in peace, and she's looking down and protecting us and our cats. Did I tell you that Patti and our elder [[Chandler Cats|kitty]] were really close; they would chat on and on, share food and sleep together.

On the bright side, I took up Gamestop's current offer of trading in 2 PS3 games to get one FREE; I got the new [[Transformers]] Game after trading in [[Wikipedia:Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom|Untold Legends Dark Kingdom]] and [[Wikipedia:Armored Core 4|Armored Core 4]]. I plan to getting replacement copies of those two in the near future. AC4 is among the Game Days Sale offer at 25% off.

I hope you all are safe and doing well. Take Care.

Thinkin' Fondly of you (alongside Patti; bless her soul); Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

===Chris talks about the Pokemon League and Megan memories===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Tue, 3 Jul 2007 2:16 pm 
Subject: Dearest Megan

I hope that you are able to get my messages over in Kentucky. BTW, which time zone are you in, [[Wikipedia:Central Time Zone (Americas)|Central]] or [[Wikipedia:Eastern Time Zone|Eastern]]? That will matter to when you'd like me to visit you/open my gate.

As for the [[Wikipedia:Dynasty Warriors: Gundam|Dynasty Warriors - Gundam]] demo, I have enjoyed it. It has better graphics than Crossfire, I get a bird's eye view of the scene, the sword and shield is used more than gunfire, and the control is easier and mech movement is faster.

Last Friday at the League was not bad. A new kid entered who started his membership from a tournament, so he already had a [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Organized Play|POP]] ID number upon his first arrival to the Game Place. I won a few games; lost a couple. I didn't buy any Soul Calibur packs then, but I plan to this coming Friday. On that issue, I will enclose scanned images of the cards I get in the e-mail I send you just after getting a pack or so. Brianna and her family are doing good as well.

I miss you a lot, but I'm okay; I still get a sweet, happy feeling each time I think of your fun wit, your charms, your pretty face and the fun you and I have shared so far. :) I hope you and your family are safe and doing well.

I hope to hear from you soon, and I will send another message later on. XOXOXO

Your Faithful Friend who thinks fondly of you;

Chris Chan. <3}}

===Chris lists ''Soul Calibur'' cards and talks about the ''Transformers'' movie===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Fri, 6 Jul 2007 8:52:25 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

I'm guessing you all have been busy, getting settled and enrolling John and whatnot, but I would appreciate a reply soon.

Anyhoo, I got the last 4 [[Soul Calibur]] (First Expansion) packs that were at [[the Game Place]] tonight, so I got to keep the box. Quite a lot of cards to scan, so I'll just list them. And you may look them up on [[eBay]]. The picked up cards are as follows:

* Shishi-Oh - Asset 
* Inhuman Fortitude - Asset 
* Reverse Spiral - Atk 
* Thrust Throw - Atk 
Despair - Atk **Voldo** 
Destined Greatness - Atk 
The Power of the Gale - Found 
Twin Splitters - Atk (X2) 
Shadow Split - Atk 
Hem Stitck - Atk (X2) 
Cross Style Mastery - Found 
Helm Divider - Atk (X2) 
Belligerent Aggression - Found 
Holy Purification - Atk 
Sublime Contmplation - Found 
Dark Destroyer - Atk 
Swift Edge - Atk (X2) 
Disembowel - Atk 
Ax Grave - Atk 
Annihilation - Atk 
Tornado Shot - Atk 
Persistence - Found 
Thrust - Atk 
Earth Scroll - Atk (X2) 
Bamboo Cutter - Atk 
Lost Memories - Found 
Rising Ripper - Atk 
Evil Eye - Atk 
Material Advantage - Found 
Tenpu-Kosai-Ryu-Kai - Found 
Made not Born - Found 
Sword Buster - Atk 
Circle of Steel - Found 
Destruction - Atk 
Hades Break - Atk

That's it for this time.

Briana is still doing good, so is Tony and Ty. We had three new members come in this time; I put together 3 decks for them. Two them were brothers, Mason and Brandon, and Brandon, I've learned from their mother, is [[Autism|High-Functioning Autistic]]. He also was born with weak legs, so he gets around on crutches. Anyway, they all should know the [[Card games#Pokémon|Pokemon TCG]] rules well now.

I will not be attending the League next Friday; my mother and I will be attending the [[Wikipedia:American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals|SPCA]] Rummage Sale Opening that day, so no new cards then.

On [[Wikipedia:Independence Day (United States)|Independence Day]], [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I went to see the [[Wikipedia:Transformers (film)|new Transformers movie]]; it was awesome. It was very dramatic, had chunks of [[Wikipedia:Motion Picture Association of America film rating system|PG-13]] humor and a dash of romance. One humorous moment I remember was something I didn't get to see everyday, [[Wikipedia:Bumblebee (Transformers)|Bumblebee]] leaked lubricant onto a bad man of secret organization "Sector Seven" like he was doing number 1. There was of course plenty of Military Land and Air action and drama. One soldier was looking forward to coming home to hold his newborn daughter for the first time. A few of the other soldiers were speaking [[spanish]] in front of the Americans. And there were confrences at the Pentagon. You don't have to be a total Autobot fan to enjoy the bunches of Men In Action that I know you would. :)

Well, I have things to do, but I hope you all are doing well in Kentucky. And I miss you, sweetie. <3 Please reply soon.

Faithfully yours with fondful thoughts; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Megan still away, Chris continues talking about video games===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 11 Jul 2007 6:01:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

Just checkin' in again. :)

I've completed my [[Transformers]] game with all missions and sub-missions completed and all icons and energon cubes collected. I've unlocked all the bonus movie/toy/comic images, all seven movies and the ability to play as Generation 1 Optimus Prime and Megatron. I've enjoyed the fantastic detailed graphics, a bit of "Deceptive" Destruction, flying around with [[PS3|Sixaxis Tilt control]], Saving the day, crusin' the streets, and of course the transformations.

Currently, I'm playing [[Wikipedia:Genji: Days of the Blade|Genji: Days of the Blade]] (free rental due Sunday); It's great ninja-style action, and the story is good too.

I hope you've been able to have fun with your [[PS2]] and the [[PSEye|Eyetoy]] or the [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]]. :) There is still nothing new in video games on [[Sailor Moon]]. And upon investigation, I can download ALL the PGSM episodes from Veoh and get them burned to DVD (regardless of the subtitle situation; you can still watch it fully on PC or zoom out on your DVD Player), so I will start work on that soon.

And I have some dough set aside for the Rummage Sale this Friday; I could make out great with finding working systems and games for trade-in and profit.

Aside from all that, I think fondly of you lots, and I count down the days until you and your family return, as well as an E-Mail from you. I miss you so much, and I hope you all are well and safe.

I got to go; [[the Simpsons]] are about to come on. [[Love Quest|Hey...I like you]]. <3<3<3

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris continues to be boring, Megan continues to be away===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 14 Jul 2007 11:18 am 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

I just rested after getting home from the rummage sale. My mother and I left at about 1:00, we went to [[Wikipedia:Chick-fil-A|Chik-fil-a]] for Cow Appreciation Day (Free Combo for looking like a cow; I made cow masks for us). After lunch, we went straight to the sale, where we were the 4th and 5th in line, and we waited about 2 1/2 hours. I kept myself entertained with [[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|the original Transformers Movie]] on my [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] for the most part. The NBC news crew was there, and it islikely that I got my face on television (I'll find out on "Film at 11"). And we were interviewed by a paper reporter. As much to my excitement of hopeful finds of Gamecube, PS2 and such for profitable trade-in, after getting a shopping cart, I rushed (without running over anybody) to the electronics. And to my dismay, all they had were a Sega Genesis, a Playstation 1, and the only PS2 they had was priced at $125 (whereas in previous years, it was priced at only $25), so I didn't buy anything. Although my mother made out in her big bunch of fabrics and stuff. On the way home, we picked up a couple more free combo meals, and I decided since I still had the dough, I went ahead and picked up at [[Wal-Mart]] a [[PS3]] Intercooler set and a (Autobot) Bumblebee PS2 Slim Skin (for my [[PS3]]). The day wasn't as swift as expected, but it wasn't a total loss.

I wish I could hear from you. I hope you all are doing well. I will send another e-mail soon.

Faithfully yours,

Chris Chan. <3<3<3<3<3}}

===Chris talks about a soap opera, has "gunky ear", and is still thinking of Megan===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sun, 15 Jul 2007 9:59:11 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

From the [[Wikipedia:Rubí|"Rubi"]] ([[Spanish]] soap opera with english subtitles) DVD set I spent a few of my saved points on [[My Coke Rewards]], which I've received Friday, I just watched the first episode; it was good, I've enjoyed the drama, as well as the scenery of Mexico.

I'd tell you more, but it's moderately hard to think with the return of the gunky ear; it just happened earlier today but in the left ear. I've used some of my previously perscribed ear medicine, but I will attempt to wash it out in the shower later. It's quite the bother like last time.

Aside from that, I'm still thinking of you sweetly and fondly; it is good. :) I long to see you again at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game Place]] and welcome you back with open arms. I sometimes feel lonely, but it is so worth the wait just to be close to you again. <3 I hope you are safe and well. :)

I'll send you another message soon.

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

===Chris enters PaRappa the Rapper contest===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 18 Jul 2007 6:03:15 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan, (Parappa the Rapper)

About June 29th, I created, edited and submitted an video entry for Playstation.com's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. I submitted it through e-mail, as well as uploading it to [[YouTube]] and [[Wikipedia:Veoh|Veoh]]. I just got an E-Mail from the Playstation people, and Good News...

"Congratulations! Your [[PaRappa the Rapper]] video contest entry has made it into the voting phase of the contest. We will post your video on us.playstation.com and invite the PlayStation Underground to vote on their favorite. Before the fun begins, please print and sign the attached SCEA video release form and fax to my attention at 310.482.4201. Let me know if you have any questions. Good luck! Nathan PlayStation Community Support"

So I've printed the form, signed it, rushed to [[Wikipedia:FedEx Office|Kinkos]] and faxed it. It would be so awesome if I won the Grand Prize... a trip for two to Seattle, WA for the [[Wikipedia:Penny Arcade Expo|Penny Arcade Expo]]. And I couldn't think of anyone better to be there with me than you. :) But given your currently being in Kentucky, and if you all come back home that soon... it could be iffy.

I wanted to let you about that. If you are able to, you may check out the video on Youtube or Veoh; I even mentioned you in it. :)

Seriously, I really wish I could hear from you real soon. I'd like to know how you all are doing, what's been good in Kentucky; all that good jazz. I miss you. <3<3<3

I'll send another E-Mail soon.

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Mon, 23 Jul 2007 8:46:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy 21st Birthday, Sweetest [[Megan]]! Happy Birtday to you! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 :)

I hope you are having a great Birthday over there in Kentucky. This is what I am able to do for this time, but I did give you your presents earlier. And since you have me in your locket, it's as if I was actually there for your 21st turn. :)

And while I'm thinkin' about it, last friday was okay; nothing special. I got one pack of [[Soul Calibur|SC]] Blades of Fury, and the cards included were as followed:

<nowiki>**</nowiki>[[Wikipedia:List_of_characters_in_the_Soul_series#Mitsurugi|Mitsurugi]] (Character Card) Sole Survivor (Foundation~Yoshimitsu) Spinning Sword (Attack~Yoshimitsu) Mezentius Head Butt (Attack) Killing Bite (Attack) Raise the Shield (Foundation) Tornado Swell (Attack) Jolly Roger Hoist (Attack) Phantasm Fleet (Attack) Dread Charge (Foundation)

I am spreading the word throughout [[MySpace]], my Sonichu, [[CWC's Pokésite 2|Pokesite 2]] (english and spanish), [[Hot Wheels]], and [[Lego|Bionicle]] websites, through the Playstation Network (with help from playing online with Motorstorm to get names), and Locally at the Game Place and such about voting for my [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper]] Video. I'd really like to win that trip and those [[PSP of Fail|PSPs]], so I can share the expierence with you, my closest, sweetest friend. <3 Who knows, maybe I can wing it for good results. :)

At least I can keep you up-to-date, even though it may still be a while before you can read these E-Mails.

I'll send you another one soon. Have the Happiest of 21st Birthdays, because you've got a nice family to share it with and me.

Faithfully Yours; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris talks about trading cards, tells Megan he wants to go to Seattle with her===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 28 Jul 2007 12:18 pm 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

It was rainy about 3-5 this afternoon, but fortunately a bunch of players showed up today at [[The GAMe PLACe|the Game Place]]. I didn't get a Soul Calibur Pack this week, but I noticed that they have in stock a two-deck pack for [[Card_games#UFS_.28Ultimate_Fighting_System|Street Figher UFS]]; [[Wikipedia:Ryu (Street Fighter)|Ryu]] Vs. "Ayku" (wasn't sure of that name) and new [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] (GX) Starter Decks featuring [[Wikipedia:Jaden Yuki|Jaden]] (the Holo card is Elemental Hero Necroshade) and... the boy who plays with the machanic toon vehicles (I forgot his name). Tony warned me last week that he wouldn't make it today, so I worked pretty hard.

I had to sign up two new members; Bridget and Perry. Bridget's deck was perfectly Psychic, so I didn't have to work on hers, but Perry's was a bit of chaos; one [[Yawning Squirtle|Squirtle]], one [[Wikipedia:Wartortle|Wartortle]], one [[Wikipedia:Blastoise|Blastoise]] EX, one [[Wikipedia:Turtwig|Turtwig]], one (stage 1 for turtwig), one matching stage 2, and the same column scheme applied to [[Wikipedia:Piplup|Plipup]] to [[Wikipedia:Empoleon|Empoleon]], [[Wikipedia:Chimchar|Chimchar]] to [[Wikipedia:Infernape|Infernape]] and [[Wikipedia:Charmander|Charmander]] to [[Wikipedia:Charizard|Charizard]]. And he had a bunch of non-evoling basics that made it a real messed-up haymaker, and the rest was about 2 Boost Energies, one Cyclone Energy, one Multi Energy, one Rainbow Energy, one Psychic, some of the other basics (excluding Metal and Dark) totaling to 28 Energy Cards. And he had no Trainer cards. And what he had in his book was somewhat out of order. But I perservered with a mostly colorless deck for him. :) I got a few small headaches and head-quits (that's where my brain would just zone out for about a few seconds).

Aside from today, last week at the Playstation Store, after like a couple of months, they finally added a NEW PS1 title for download and play on [[PS3]] and [[PSP of Fail|PSP]]: [[Wikipedia:Castlevania: Symphony of the Night|Castlevania - Symphony of the Night]]. It set me back about 9.99, but I downloaded it. I have made it about half-way to fully through; I'm now playing in the inverted castle (it's upside-down...freaky).

Also, I have been working hard on spreading the word around locally, on [[MySpace]] and on the [[PlayStation Network|PSNetwork]] about voting for my video on the Playstation website. I've played Motorstorm online to get a bunch of names for new acquaintances; I've rarely been able to make it at First place. But one time I did manage to make 3rd. Quite the stress-work, but it will be worth it if I win the trip to Seattle. I fantasy you and me taking the trip, having fun at the Penny Arcade Expo, maybe take a tour of the Nintendo of America company, playing [[Guitar Hero]] with you on my [[PS3]] in our hotel room, and basically just being with you, period. :) And I would give you and John the two [[PSP]]s (but I would keep one of the two [[PaRappa the Rapper]] games). But I digress...

I hope you and your family are doing well and good in Kentucky. I'd wish for you to come back sooner, but I can't control how soon John will be able to finish his mechanic course. I'll be happier when you are standing in front of me again, safe and sound. :)

That's enough from my [[Heart level|heart]] (blush) for a while, my sweet friend. I'll e-mail you again soon.

Faithfully yours;

Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Megan 07-03-06.PNG
Image:Megan 07-04-30.PNG
Image:Megan 07-06-04.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Miyamoto emails

2012-07-13T04:37:44Z

Axe: /* External links */

In [[January 2009]], [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] (who was [[Clyde Cash]], unbeknown to [[Chris]]) was in talks with Chris to produce a [[Sonichu]] game. These are the e-mails that followed. In most of these e-mails, the information provided was never asked for by Miyamoto and one can only wonder how the real Miyamoto would feel with a young man rambling about how he's a [[virgin with rage]] or about [[trolls]] who slander him online.

''Note: Comments in red are by Clyde regarding his responses and motives, since the emails he sent Chris were lost.''

==5 January 2009 to 10 January 2009: Chris is Invited to Redmond==
{{quoteboxred|Playing off [[Jay Z]] and [[Takashi Tezuka]], I decided to impersonate [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] with the sole goal of trying to get Chris to Redmond, Washington so he could get rejected by Nintendo themselves.}}

{{quotebox|Mr. Miyamoto, I am honored and humbled that you wish to see me in person. I'm afraid that my family and I are not as financially well-off as possibly assumed. If you wish me to come to [[Redmond]], and I have dreamed of traveling to the [[Nintendo|NOA]] company in my lifetime, I must ask for [[Chris and money|compensation]] of Round-Trip Airfare, and other required neccesities for [[car|automobile]] travel from the airport to NOA, and anything else pertaining therein.

Thank you for your support.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|Please check for the nearest airport for my Point "A" from my home address of,

[[14 Branchland Court|14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville, VA]] 22968-9545

I recommend the airport on Airport Road; I do not remember the airport's name. My Home address can be looked up on mapquest.com.}}

{{quotebox|Alright, I'm going to check with my family who I live with to see if we can afford the airfare before reimbursement. I am 26 years old, and capable of making my own decisions, yet I'm currently dependent from my family's and my [[monthly tugboat|Social Security]] (for my [[High-Functioning Autism]]) income.

It would be appreciated if y'all can book the flight for me, because I'm unsure about my family's current financial status, and my social's being saved for my own bills.

I did look up the round-trip on delta.com; 771 dollars rounded-up is most likely MORE than my family can afford (after their own bills and personal neccessities).

Peace, 
Christian W. Chandler.}}

==11 January 2009: Chris and Barbara Want to Reschedule==
===There is BAD Weather===
{{quotebox|I've just checked with my mother; she has informed me that there is BAD weather in Washington State (where Seattle is), so can we rethink and schedule the meeting there for later in the week? Any day is good with me; other than the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] updates and fixin's, I have not much else goin' for me locally. Also, I have [[religion|church]] this morning (my Sunday, Jan 11, 2009, and right now it's 12:53 AM (luckily my [[biological clock]] is messed up, yet recovering for us to communicate this quickly).}}

{{quotebox|I'll be there.}}

{{quotebox|Mr. Miyamoto, [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] has given the issue much, much thought, and she feels that she should come with me to be my escort. Personally, I also would feel better and safer with her around. I'm sure you can understand, since upon my understanding based on your past story ideas with [[Pokemon]] at least, and Ash with his mother in [[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The Movie 2000|the 2nd]] and [[Wikipedia:Pokémon 3: The Movie|3rd movies]]; my mother and I felt the sense of those who worked on them had deep affections for their mothers as well; we were deeply moved.

So I'm asking if you would vouch for her tickets as well.

Peace, 
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|At this point, I told him it was company policy that we'll reimburse him. He seemed eager to go with the "I'll be there." reply. Yeah. No.}}

{{quotebox|[[Bob Chandler|My father]], who has traveled with General Electric, says that Nintendo should pay for mine and my mother's tickets in advance, then my mother and I can pick them up at the airport.

Please let me know swiftly if it's possible.}}

{{quotebox|Due to our financial situation, and my father being a penny-pincher, we need you to advance the tickets to me and my mother, please.}}

{{quotebox|After talking to my parents, they have decided that we need you to postpone this meeting to a later date in order to allow all plans of preperations and money transactions to be handled in an orderly fashion. Thank you for your consideration and interest. I still am looking forward to meeting Mr. Miyamoto.}}
===A Word from Snorlax===
{{quoteboxred|I can't believe Barbara fell for this.}}

{{quotebox|We apologize for any inconvenience. A "rush" request of this nature jams the thinking process and does not allow time for working out all details to travel from coast to coast and does not allow for necessary financial arrangements.

We thank you for this opportunity and hopefully can come to the best solutions for all involved in this venture.

Also, we have to consider the weather conditions across the United States.

We suggest your Company make the necessary travel arrangements and a [[Clyde|cash]] advance to Christian Chandler, our son, and plan a date two (2) weeks hence.

Robert and Barbara (writer) have both had experience in big business with General Electric Company and Reynolds Metals Company (both International Sales and Mining of raw materials for manufacturing purposes in other countries. We understand the Research and Development as well as the Marketing and Selling of goods.

Of historic value to the computer world, Robert was in on the research and development from the beginning, and without his knowledge, NES might not have arrived so soon. His accomplishments include seven (7) patents and others outstanding with General Electric Company. He designed the controls for the Plastic Molding Machines.

We look forward to joining with you in this venture.

Yours truly,

Barbara Weston Chandler, Mother 
Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr., Father}}

===Chris's Inspiration===
{{quoteboxred|I settled on a new date and then he comes up with this bullshit on "game ideas".}}

{{quotebox|January 25th will be great, and hopefully between me and my family, we can settle the matters pertaining to this historic meeting. Also, Please inform Mr. Miyamoto, but I have just awoken Inspired Sonichu-Wise; I have figured out the Opening Title Movie for Sonichu's Adventure, the Prequel Comic for the possible Pokemon Lightning Version, and the monitary-type collectibles in Sonichu's Adventure; NOT RINGS, but C-Quarters (the main money) and W-Quarters (equals 10 C-Quarters). I have the images in my head, and I will draw them up and update my Sonichu's Adventure growing Game Stories/Unlockables/Details MSWord File accordingly.

Also, the C and W-Quarters were inspired from a combination of rings and coins, as well as the use of my initials, "C.W.C." of "Christian Weston Chandler."

I hope Mr. Miyamoto accepts my family's apology humbily, as well as my own personal apology, and I seriously felt bad having to turn down this meeting and postpone to the 25th of January, but all things considered, it's for the better, since I was able to get my sleep and DREAM up the Opening Movie, leading to the creation of the Lightning Version Prequel Comic then the C and W-Quarters. Plus, this will allow me time to get back to re-uploading the pages of Sonichu.net and associated websites under it, then updating it as such, with advertisements for Sonichu & Rosechu in [[Animal Crossing]] City Folk and the introduction of the C and W-Quarters for the Sonichu Series.

But I digress. I see Mr. Miyamoto as a humble gentleman, even though he may be stressed by business, from his past creations and stories, as I have shared with him my love and care for my mother, like he has for his I'm certain. He himself said that it is humbling and grand that I bring my mother with me on the trip.

I gtg draw up the Quarters on paper, updating the Sonichu's Adventure Stories ideas page, then fixing Sonichu.net.

Peace to you all and Mr. Miyamoto, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|He figures sending a [[Chris's games|list of games]] will impress me. He also thought it was a good idea to list your competitor's games as well.}}

{{quotebox|I've just updated my mother on your latest message, and we simply CAN NOT AFFORD the trip to Seattle; not enough money, and we do not want new credit. WE NEED THE ADVANCE.

Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have invested THOUSANDS of [[America]]n Dollars and Cents in Nintendo [[Video games|Video Games]] and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA. I have also attached My [[Chris's games|List of Video Games]] I have in my collection; 90 PERCENT of Which were ALL BOUGHT BRAND NEW while available in the stores during its MINT Availability. SURLY you can spot back about just under 800 for our Trip To Seattle in advance. You can even ship a check Express via Snail-Mail with the most secure Delivery and Signature Confirmation to our home address at

Christian Weston Chandler 
14 Branchland Ct. 
Ruckersville, VA 22968-9545

I'm certain Mr. Miyamoto wants to meet up with me and discuss the future of Sonichu and the Sonichu Alpha Project, as much as I'd be humbled and honored to meet with him and discuss the matter; PROBABLY MORE FOR HIM, becuase I am the Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu, the other associated characters and the city of [[Cwcville]] around them all.

The only sensible solution is either advance me and my mother the money, or have Mr. Miyamoto fly to my house and meet with me on the 25th of January, 2007 [''sic'']. I am assuming that you and Mr. Miyamoto will wish to go with Plan "A", as I can understand his busy schedule.

If you wish me to prove myself, I can and am willing to create a [[YouTube]] Video showing off my Game Systems and Video Game Collection, and I have already confirmed my identity from the ACCityFolk, <nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETRvXXTX6HU,</nowiki> Video I've uploaded onto YouTube during the past week. And between Takashi of ACCityFolk and Mr. Miyamoto, they feel secure of my idenity and that they are dealing with the true Christian Weston Chandler; me.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

Hopefully we can resolve the monetary advance peacefully, legally and all that sort.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

==11 January 2009 to 15 January 2009: Chris Can't Afford to Fly to Redmond==
===Chris Won't Sell His Crap===
{{quoteboxred|I think you have the gist of what I sent. God, he still won't sell his things. This is just a repeat from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] where he wouldn't sell his shit.}}

{{quotebox|You're not asking me to pawn off my games and systems are you? Because that is preposterous; I have VAST HISTORY within those Digital Gaming Walls, and to sell them off as such would be a sheer mockery and I would just feel most saddened and uncomfortable with that.

You all can surly afford to Reserve the Plane Tickets at my local Airport for me and my mother to pick up, so we can fly to Redmond and meet with Mr. Miyamoto. You can even check with Mr. Miyamoto himself for his approval and which airport to book the flight TO Redmond from, then let me know the where and time of the flight where our tickets are reserved at. And quickly as you can say "[[Mary Poppins|Supercalifragilisticespialadocious]]", my mother and I would be there at least an hour before the flight leaves, pick up the tickets and be seated to FLY.}}
===Chris Tells His Life Story===
{{quoteboxred|I said something like how a creative man like yourself should have a job.}}

{{quotebox|Actually, Mr. Miyamoto, I am not currently employed; I've been getting money from the Social Security due to my High-Functional [[Autism]]. If you would like information on autism, there is some on autism.org, or you may try [[wikipedia]].}}

{{quotebox|Wow, that's very interesting; the creator of [[Pokemon]] has autism; I applaud him and his success very much.

And, Wow. That's a tough question within the first 30 seconds to a minute. In short, I am a bit impulsive, compessive, and even when I TRY to save for the future, it ends up getting spent on my bills; my father makes me pay rent to help with their bills as well.

I have overcome a LOT of obstacles myself. Although I've had special education during the young years of my life, I was mainstreamed the Majority of my life. I have had a LOT of [[Gal-Pals]] in my lifetime, yet the concept of dating and sex has eluded me until I turned 21, while I was in College. I was on [[Honor Roll]] in [[Providence Middle]] and [[Manchester High School]]s, throughout. Got my Diploma, a Star Pin for my Grades, and [[Manchester High School#Graduation|NO AWARDS for my Creativity]]; I TOOK NUMEROUS [[Art]] Classes (Paint, [[Medallions of Fail|Clay]], Needlepoint, [[Chris and Camerawork|Photography]], Computer Graphics and many, many other styles); I EXCELLED in ART; my drawings of perspective viewpoints are surpassive, as you can see in my comics. I earned two degrees in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], and made the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Dean]]'s List.

I was employed two times in my lifetime. Two months at a newly constructed [[Wendy's]] restaurant in my neighborhood, but got the pink slip, because the boss had a low opinion of me based on my autism and such. I did enjoy the job while I had it. One summer I was employed as a Salesman for [[Cutco]] products; the owners of the "Double-D" Edge and the Super Shears that can cut a penny to create a pig-tail. Lifetime Guarantee on sharpness. The boss left at Summer's end, and I lost that job. FYI, I was very cautious with my samples of cutary, and I do not have any intentions of harming myself or anyone else. My record is clean.

I also was a Volunteer Assistant Gym Leader at the Pokemon TCG League from [[1998]] to June, [[2008]] when the [[Michael Snyder|new store owner]] hated my spunk and kicked me out of [[The Game Place|the store]]; lifetime. I miss my Friday Nights playing and trading, conversing with my the main Gym Leader and the few peers just under my age who attended.

My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive shoppiness (mostly controable), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.

Also, the [[Sweetheart Search]], as portrayed in the Sub-Episodes were true for the time. Until Mid-September, 2008 when I finally met, online, and started chatting and talking through mics and speakers, [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]], who has earned her degree at her university in Australia for becoming a Biology Teacher. She will be moving to Virginia, USA to be employed at a school here and to be with me. We truly love each other. But I digress.

I guess I got carried away in my explination for your question. to figure out a FULL, short answer out of my life's story would take a LOT of time, but I gave you a nutshell answer, based on the adjectives my loving, caring mother shared with me.

...complicated, Mr. Miyamoto. *sigh*

I'm sure you can understand and relate better to me now.

My Life [[DVD]] I put together on my 25th Birthday covers a LOT in photographs and whatnot, but the emotions can only be truly expressed in writing, drawing and art.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

===Chris Spent All His Income on Video Games===
{{quoteboxred|I asked him how he could not save up money and he gives me this bullshit answer.}}

{{quotebox|I give my father 450 a month; I had to give him an extra 100 this month, because I needed two hundred for [[eBay|e-bay]], credit card and other bills November, and I repaid him a hundred a month, so now we're even again on that. I had to pay my mother back 40 on money I borrowed from her. I had to pay e-bay 55 from past multiple listing fees of UNSOLD ITEMS. I have to pay my Credit Card 60 in a payment. And my impulses killed 100 or so out of me in a couple of items, and I received about 800 from Social Security on the 3rd of Janurary; I do not get anymore from Social Security until the next 3rd. Simple Math; aside from the 60 I'm holding for the payment of my fully used Credit Card, I will have only 35 dollars in my bank and 10 dollars in savings.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

Again, because of [[Chris and money|my impulsiveness and compulsive spending]], I am not as good at saving money as I am on my Creative Talents.

And my parents have their own Major Debts as well.

I think that should explain more than enough why I can impulsively buy games ONE AT A TIME PER MONTH...

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki> I apologize for coming out in a frustrated tone, but having to repeat myself in-a-sense to full-to-the-letter, after having explained myself greatly, just makes me feel really [[Stress|irritated]].

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

===Please Give Me $800===
{{quotebox|Mr. Miyamoto, I do want a successful future in my [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the load of money to pay off my bills, save a bunch of it, and spend the rest slowly, and all the success. I have been very serious about meeting with you. I understand how finances are not the point of the discussion, but when it comes to helping me to come over there and help you, it is an issue.

Please Help Me to Help You.}}

{{quotebox|Also, please feel free to call me on my cell phone at 434-760-0848 to discuss this with quicker responses.}}

{{quoteboxred|I said that we were going to have to give this project up to someone else.}}

{{quotebox|I disagree, there is NO ONE ELSE; there is [[Liquid Chris|only ONE TRUE Original Creator]] of Sonichu and Rosechu, and I am he. Mr. Miyamoto, I WANT to be able to come and meet you in person and discuss Sonichu's Video Game Future, but if I may, let me put the question up to you. Are you interested in making more money with My Sonichu and Rosechu?

You have been busting your typing fingers in this dispute as much as I have; probably more on my half. I have as much respect for you just like the next Video Gamer, and as an Artist, Creative Person and Gamer with parents who both have been in the business world A LOT, I have as much right to Honest Friendship and Trust in the Business World as they have.

All I am asking is for you to reserve and pay the flight tickets for me and my mother, so we can come and meet with you in Washington. To you, [[Honor roll|800 dollars out of millions is like 8 dollars out of 100]].

I have created and uploaded the video onto YouTube; I have edited the Comic Pages in Photoshop as per to your requests; I have them ALL saved on my PC, uploaded them all and updated Sonichu.net to show them off, and then what happens? A Troll logs in and DELETES all the files on Sonichu.net, leaving me to have to Re-Upload and Re-Edit the HTML files as such. I have had a very busy week the past week making sound business decisions, coping and agreeing with yours, between You, Mr. Zylberstein and Takashi. And I Trusted You All as such and Worked My Body down to a last drop of energy with lack of sleep a bunch of nights, like a Conveyer Belt Worker working OVERTIME Nights, Weekends and Holidays in addidion to the Days and Days of WORK, and Not Getting Paid for it. It's happening right here and now; you are not Trusting me back; not Paying Me a Raise I deserved for HARD WORK and OVERTIME.

You have employed me and my services; Please Treat me as equally as you would your Most Loyal Employees with Trust, a Good Raise, and a Humbling, Honest "Thank You" for my Hard Work and Acceptance into your Work Force. In Other Words, and with due respect, Mr. Miyamoto, Please Trust me with the Advance Pay in the Trip TO Washington State for me and my mother.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|Another way of putting it, if I may: Are you the "Mario" who Plays Fair, or the "Bowser/Koopa" who Cheats and Lies?}}

{{quotebox|I will raise the money, and my mother and I will be there. Also, and I will repeat this one more time; someone else deleted the files in my Tripod account that were of Sonichu.net; I am in the process of re-uploading and re-editing the html pages to present the Fixed Pages. I started work on the HTML Pages; the edited pages will be re-presented in a few hours.

Also, please talk to my [[Sweetheart]] and Partner on Sonichu.net, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, although currently in Australia; she is coming to Virginia very soon to be with me. She is caught-up on everything Sonichu & Rosechu, although she is NOT the original creator, but my Sweetheart and Equal Partner. Her e-mail address is pandahalo@gmail.com. I have also informed her alone of our discussion. She is [[Troll|Truly Trustworthy]].

At work again, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|Yes sir. Also, if it's not too much to ask, can you snail-mail me a hand-written letter (with a hand-written translation if required) of your promise to reimburse and accomidate me, and hopefully my mother if I can afford her ticket, as a personal incentive to verify that this is all real, and to better my emotions towards raising the money for the trip, please? It would mean a lot to me.}}

{{quotebox|Okay, thank you. Also, please ask him to write a letter to my Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom Ashby at 1218 Courthouse Rd. [[Richmond]], VA 23236, introducing himself, describing his and mine business transactions in brief detail, and letting them know of my asking for their help in my trip for a more successful future for myself, Sonichu and Rosechu. I am going to let them know about this as well, and they are kind, trustworthy people. And I feel a letter from Mr. Miyamoto will help validate my case better.}}

{{quotebox|On second thought, please disregard the previous e-mail.}}

{{quotebox|I just looked up [[Pokémon|Satoshi Tajiri]] on Wikipedia; it says Satoshi was not Autistic, but Diagnosed with [[Aspergers]]. For your information, people commonly mistake the two; Autism and Aspergers to be the same, when they clearly are DIFFERENT. Autism affects while the person is young, and mainly concentrates on the Social Skills. While Aspergers affects the adults and older, and maninly concentrates on Short-Term Memory. Also, those with Autism will Less Likely develop Aspergers, compared to the Non-Autistic. It really irritates me when people say the two are similar when CLEARLY they are NOT.

I just wanted to let you know about for your information, Mr. Miyamoto. Also, I would like to extend a congratuations on him having the honor of being taken under your wing as a Mentor.}}

===Shigeru Miyamoto, a Troll?===
{{quotebox|You have JUST TROLLED THE ULTIMATE TROLLING!

Before you are DAMNED TO HELL, Enjoy the LAST Piece of Heaven you will be able to Truly Enjoy and Pleasure at!}}

{{quoteboxred|Chris might have figured out something on his own...but...}}

{{quotebox|Well, "Staff of Nintendo of Japan", how do you explain the constant ad on the bottom of every e-mail I've received from this address for http://www.mail.com? I have checked mail.com, and I've learned that "shigerumiyamoto@tokyo.com" WAS already taken.

I have Numerous [[Trolls|TROLLS]] and [[Internet]] Bullies pestering me on and on. And the TROLLS can easily register a FAKE E-mail address on mail.com, with the exception of OFFICIAL AND LEGITIMATE addresses, such as aol.com, yahoo.com and especially noa.nintendo.com.

I know that you are a TROLL posing as Mr. MIyamoto and the American/Nintendo Staff. I should have known it sooner, but I was under compulsive influences that made me believe all this was for true and real. And Besides which, My Father Realized that you were a Phony, since you constantly refused to even pay and reserve plane tickets and making up likely poor excuses for such, made up excuses to NOT talk on the telephone, and above all else, in an e-mail from "James Zylberstein", he said you favored Sonichu greatly, then in another later e-mail recieved from your address, you say you detested Sonichu, but then you do a 180 and say you do in an even later message.

I was wisely informed of this hoax by a student attending the Digipen University at Nintendo's headquarters in Redmond. He has triple-checked around NOA by asking around and the people there CLEARLY CAN TELL ALL THE MESSAGES FROM THIS ADDRESS WERE OBVIOUSLY FAKE.

Just Come Clean, Right NOW, and I won't inform a REAL Associate @noa.nintendo.com about your Trollucricious Hoax and the e-mail address with it.

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|The power of delusion is a powerful one:}}

{{quotebox|I humbly apologize; I was in error, and under a lot of stress. If I can, I will try to make the trip by the 25th.}}

{{quoteboxred|[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] came in at this point and set things straight.}}
===Chris Will Be There... Someday===
{{quotebox|Actaually, I can't make the trip, because number one; the money is an issue, and number two; I just personally feel uncomfortable leaving the safety in and around my house, within my familiar surroundings (a quirk with Autism). I am undecided now rather to believe this is the real Mr. Miyamoto or not, and I will not agree nor disagree with the facts over fiction. But if you are truly him, PLEASE, contact my Sweethart, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, at her e-mail address of pandahalo.com, and put the offer of meeting with you on the Sonichu Projects and all that with her.

I just feel so unfurled with uncomfortable butterflies of nerves going off in my chest area.

I entrust all legal matters of this with Sarah Cassandra McKenzie.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|Please keep the option open ONLY for me for the LONGEST TIME POSSIBLE; it may not be the 25th of January, but I will let you know after I get all my affairs in order and planned.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|I hope that's the greeting in Tokyo; I do not mean any offense.

I just wanted to inform you that I've reuploaded the edited Comic HTML pages, and re-updated the front page of Sonichu.net with the corresponding information on the edits. I have also typed up an apology for you, Takashi and Mr. Zylberstein for the misunderstanding earlier; I was under a miscomprehension of the possibility of an impostor, and I hope you accept my most humble apologies.

I also wanted to get your consent on an idea I had for the end of my [[Sonichu 10|#10 Comic Book]]. It was planned that I will be making a public announcement of transferring the Mayorship of Cwcville to my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Twin-Sister]], and I have come upon an idea just now of drawing you behind my podium, and extending a humble bow (or handshake; let me know which) of gratitude for your attendance and our future business together. I would draw you based on a photo image I've found on Wikipedia. And if you like, I can also draw in Satoshi Tajiri; your close Pokemon Friend, and Naoto Oshima; the artist behind Sonic the Hedgehog (although their photographs are not currently found on Wikipedia) upon their mutual consent in addition to yours. Anyway, at the end of the speech, I will draw you calling up a Warp Pipe "To Tokyo", sharing a "Syonara" then jumping through it. And if Satoshi and Naoto are there; a Pikachu balloon can pick Satoshi up, and Naoto can jump through a "Special Stage" Ring.

The Bow or Handshake between you and me will be a great honor and a humbling privlidge to draw with your consent.

If I can make the meeting on the 25th, I will let you know; if not, then I will let you at least a week in advance of a possible future meeting date.

I feel better that we can continue the business without the tension from the past suspicion, as well as a total security of knowledge to help me better make my plans and keep my compulsiveness down and allow me to be at peace and calmness.

Have a pleasant day, Miyamoto San. Syonara, 
Christian Weston Chandler. :-)}}

{{quoteboxred|Before I actually posed as Miyamoto, Jay Z and Takashi already said Miyamoto wanted certain changes to the comic.}}

{{quotebox|I understand. Domo arigato. :)}}
===Why Not Send Someone to Virginia?===
{{quotebox|Raising funds will be a task, but after the confusion and chaos among the one Troll who hinted me to the mail.com, leading to the misconception and such, my mother and father are in big disbelief. I, myself, honestly BELIEVE you are the real man after having received the e-mail from the automatic system of @noa.nintendo.com verifying your e-mail address, yet even my mother still isn't convinced.

I've just had a thought, if I may suggest, I understand advance airfare money is out of the question, but how about sending a True Employee or Head-type figure from Nintendo of America, as a representative, over to my house? (S)he can prove her/himself with her/his proper identifications and papers verifying her/his employment and status at N.O.A. to me and my parents (maybe come in one of those Nintendo Beetles). (S)he can talk to my mother and father and confirm the business discussions between you and me over the e-mails were [[True and Honest|True and Legit]], and that you are the real Miyamoto San. Also, because my mother is hesitant on me traveling alone to another state or country, I can ride/fly back with the N.O.A. Representative and make my meeting with you as early as the 25th of January after all. It would also be easier on me and my family's wallets; less bit of stress. :)

I'll leave that suggestion humbly up to you, and hopefully that can lead to a mutual agreement between us and my family.

Domo arigato, Miyamoto San, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|I meant to send a representative FROM Redmond, WA to my house in Virginia, via airplane or Nintendo Beetle; she/he can meet my family, explain the business was Real and legit with her/his credentials, then ride/fly back to Redmond with her/him.}}

{{quotebox|I need to inform my lawer of the planned business meeting before further discussion. So I wish to ask for a hard copy, hand-written proposal of our meeting in full detail snail-mailed to me swiftly. Domo arigato, Miyamoto San.}}

==15 January, 2009: That Damn ED Page==
===Encyclopedia Dramatica According to Chris===
{{quoteboxred|I said I did a Google search for CWC and got the ED page. I also said that Jay Z quit.}}

{{quotebox|Yes I can explain that. That webpage is a PAGE FULL OF LIES and SLANDERS fabricated by the Trolls/Internet Bullies who created it just to irritate and spite me. For [[God]] knows how long, I've protested AGAINST it, but that only added logs to the fire. So I've been ignoring it for months. I have NEVER condoned that webpage; Please Do NOT put that page against me. Also, I have not had a [[MySpace]] or [[Facebook]] Page for Months, since those same Trolls Hacked into both of those accounts and twisted them to their evil deceptions. I have managed to recover and delete both the MySpace and Facebook accounts.

The webpage that BEST describe me is the "About the Author" page on Sonichu.net. Also my real-life Gal-Pals and past Friends, my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]'s Congregation, the [[Sonichu Girls]] (True, Loyal Female [[Fans]]) on Sonichu Girls - Message Board - Yuku, my Family, and my DVD that I have created on my 25th [[Birthday]] and shared with my closest friends and family can all BEST describe me for who I am. After I get Mr. Miyamoto's Letter, I can burn a copy of my DVD titled, "Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On T.V. :)" and send it to him at my own expense with honor.

Also, I have heard that Mr. Zylberstein quit from Takashi previously. But that's your lawer. I would still need a hard, hand-written document detailing the business between me and Mr. Miyamoto and our future meeting for my lawer.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}
===Chris's Rap Sheet===
{{quotebox|-Disorderly Conduct and Trespass; basically what happened in [[Sonichu 4|my Comic's Sub Episodes 7 and 8]] in real life; I resumed my Sweetheart Search on about June 23, [[2005]] ONE TIME at the newly-opened [[Target]] store in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia. The [[Jerkhief|manager]] and his accomplice felt uncomfortable of my presence there and called the cops on me. I resisted handcuffing and tried to get away, and I screamed for my life while they tortured me. IN COURT, I was Found Innocent, and the charges were dropped.

-Foll Too Close; an [[Son-Chu|automobile]] accident. I got a bit sidetracked in my mind with a complex thought while driving, and I failed to see the stopped vehicle in front of me then. I paid the fine, and I'm still paying my father back for the repair on my car.

Actually, I am in the process of finding an attorney to represent me within my congregation, with the aid of my trusted Pastoral Counselor, Rocky Shoemaker and her family, as well as my Pastor, Reverend Elizabeth Foss, of the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church. If you wish to talk to someone who is capable of representing me before I find an attorney, you may try Reverend Elizabeth at at elizabethfoss22@earthlink.net; I am entrusting her e-mail address to you with Confidentiality.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|I wanted to ask about all his court cases.}}
===Miyamoto Should Call the FBI===
{{quotebox|Unfortunately, I never had webmaster-status administrative control over that heinous webpage, but as long as those Trolls do not get much new info that can be easily twisted and misunderstood and as long as fewer people visit the page, it will eventually be fully deleted. I prefer to be the bigger man and just move on and let that be just muddy water under the bridge.}}

{{quotebox|I understand you completely, and I have personally tried Numerous times again and again in the past to Delete everything on that page. Unfortunately, the website of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] is Wikipedia-Based; Full Deletion of a WHOLE PAGE can be Quickly Undone behind my back, then I would be [[banned]] from logging in again to try again, or create a NEW account to try another FULL Denouncing of that page; BANNED AGAIN. Until eventually, the administrator behind the Website of Encyclopedia Dramatica BLOCKED my IP ADDRESS FOREVER from EVER LOGGING IN, much less DELETING THE PAGE.

If you want that page deleted for good much quickly, you may try talking to the administration behind that one page of that website. Your best weapon against them is your Money and Power of authority. You could call in the [[Jerkops|F.B.I.'s Internet Tracking Squadron]] to track down the creator of that page, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] of Tennessee, or any administrative person of Encyclopedia Dramatica to Force the Page, even the whole website, down for good.

I wish I had the authoritive power you posess, Miyamoto San, so I could have done that at a movement of my finger back then.

I know only soo much about the internet; I do not claim myself to be an Internet or HTML God-Like figure.

Should you try to force the Denouncing of the E.D. Page out of the whole E.D. website, Miyamoto San, I wish you God Speed and the Greatest of Victory.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}
===Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT===
{{quotebox|but I have created and uploaded a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|video]] onto YouTube of me Denouncing the Encyclopedia Dramatica "Chris Chan" webpage, as well as the whole Encyclopedia Dramatica website, of ever being of use against my personality and person in the Legal Courts of Law.}}

{{quotebox|-The pictures on that page were all fabricated in a photoshop program. 
-I am a Chrisitan, Baptized in my Methodist Church Mother's Day of 2008 [''sic''], and importantly I am Truly STILL a [[Virgin]]. Rest-Assured I am [[Homos|Straight]], and I would ONLY have any sexual intercourse with my Adult Sweetheart, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie. I have NEVER DONE, and I NEVER HAVE ANY INTENTION of doing that with any children, I Promise you that, just as I have Promised that in the name of God and my Lord and Savior. 
-The Audio was taken from BEHIND MY BACK while I was Talking to Sarah McK over Skype by a Troll who was successful in hacking into my computer at that time.
-[[lie|I have NEVER Sexually Harassed]] [[Megan Schroeder]]. I have RESPECTED HER SPACE during the times I was with and around her during my Friday Nights at the Pokemon TCG League. I did previously have an infatuation over Megan during that time; she was OVER 18 Years of Age FROM Since I first met her at a [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] Tournament. I have never touched her inapproprately at any time. 
-TRUE, I have ordered [[sex toys]] and Straight Pornography from adameve.com, and I am NOT ashamed of it; I take all those Videos I have watched as EDUCATIONAL towards when I will be having my First and Future Intercourses with my adult Sweetheart, Sarah, after we've had plenty of in-person time together. As for the dildos, I HAVE ONLY RECEIVED those as BONUS GIFTS from adameve.com, and I have NEVER used any of them on myself as such. 
-I drew the Adult Images ONLY after I have first found the E.D. Page, and I DREW THOSE in PROTEST against the page, as the Slanderous Trolls dared to drawn dicks on my Pure Female Characters. I take that as Disrespect, not only against myself and my Rosechu characters, but [[Women's rights|Disrespect to Womankind]]. I am a Gentleman who Feels for the Woman population, and it offends me greatly as I empathically fell for every woman who has been insulted equally in the sense or greater. The women on the Sonichu Girls Forum page all Mutually Understand my Peaceful Protest against the E.D. Page and the slanderous dicked drawings. It's ONE THING to make a sexual mockery against me individually, but to go beyond that to put down the Female Population is JUST WRONG. I and my Supporting Sonichu Girl Fanbase are Unaminous in the Peaceful Protest.

I am capable of proving myself as such in my True from my Heart, Honest Statements I have just typed up for you in person or on recorded video if need be.

Thank you for asking me about that, and understanding me as an individual human being.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Hopefully you can tell what parts of the ED page I wanted him to debunk himself. Photoshop, my ass.}}

{{quotebox|My family and I have eveidence to prove the slanderous site false, should it be required. Anyway, that's good news; I pray to god it gets destroyed for good.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|I can do that; I shall work on that this weekend.}}

==16 January 2009 to 19 January 2009: Chris Gets Hacked==
===16 January 2009: Sonichu.info===
{{quotebox|The Hacker, [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|Jason Kendrick Howell]] of Montgomery, Tennessee; the original creator of the slanderous E.D. Page, has [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|hacked into my Tripod Account AGAIN]]. I am currently in the password recovery process again, but I will soon close that account as soon as I retain it. So, just to Update, it will NO LONGER be Sonichu.net, but [[Sonichu.info]]. So, please update your bookmarks, paperwork, etc of that.

This just shakes me with a huge amount of [[stress]], but I deeply appreciate your patience and support, Miyamoto San.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler}}

{{quoteboxred|[[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays]]! [[CWC Update 8 January 2009|GREGG MAYS!]] With three Gs in the Gregg.}}
===17 January 2009: Christian Weston Chandler, a Troll?===
{{quotebox|What is up with that, I do not understand.

If you are trying to get to the REAL Trolls, this bullet misfired. I appreciate the gesture to act against them. I will forward an e-mail I got from the Troll who did hack into my Tripod account, so you can send the threat to him for real. No one has hacked into my AOL account yet, as far as I know.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler}}

{{quoteboxred|I told him that he was a troll and to stop contacting me. I figured that at this point, he was not going.}}

{{quotebox|Miyamoto San, IT IS the REAL Christian Weston Chandler. I can prove it by uploading [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|another video]] onto YouTube, verifying my e-mail address and addressing the video to you.}}

{{quotebox|Miyamoto San, I can prove right now that I am the True Christian Weston Chandler of 14 Branchland Ct. in Ruckersville, Virginia, born on the 24th of February, [[1982]]. Please see the attached Scan of my Drivers License; I have blacked out the Customer Number in my PC's Paint program to protect my identity, but you can tell it is REAL by finding the hints of the Virginia name and State Shape on my Drivers License.}}
===18 January 2009: I Am Gay.===
{{quotebox|I just wanted to let you know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, have come out of the closet. I am [[gay]]. I've been ashamed to admit it for so long, but I don't think I need to hide it from y'all.

I hope you understand and support me for the path I've chosen in life. And if anyone is offended by what I've decided, please forgive me. I am sorry, but I cannot live a lie any longer. I have never been straight. I am gay, and always have been.

Yours truly, 
Christian Weston Chandler}}

{{quoteboxred|When his e-mail was hacked, yet again.}}
===19 January 2009: Ignore that Last E-Mail!===
{{quotebox|A Troll, Clyde Cash, who posed as Jason Kendrick Howell and Gregg Mays, hacked into my AOL account Sunday, Jaunary 18, 2009, and spammed FALSE e-mails to everyone in my contact list. And to [[CWC Update 18 January 2009|re-affirm]], I, Christian Weston Chandler, am True and Straight.

I closed my AOL account that afternoon from my father's Master AOL account, then later restored it this afternoon on the 19th.

I sincerely apologize for his hacking and you receiving the Slanderous Lie. Also, I hope you saw the [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|video]] on YouTube that I have addressed to you, Miyamoto San, and I hope you get the letter I sent to you via snail-mail with the enclosed sample of my True Sonichu & Rosechu drawing, fresh from my hand, as well as a photocopy of my Driver's License. The Envelope it is in has marker-colored Colors, and colored-in Sonichu's Face (again hand-drawn).

Please accept that and the YouTube Video as the Validity of my identity as Christian Weston Chandler and as True Creator of Sonichu and Rosechu and the world of Cwcville. Please reply via snail-mail swiftly soon after you read this e-mail or after you receive my hand-written letter.

Syonara and Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}
==21 January 2009 to 25 January 2009: Chris Is Really Going to Redmond, Honest==
{{quotebox|No worries, Miyamoto San, I will be there soon enough, as I would have checked in with one of your Associates at N.O.A. on a Rush Flight.}}

{{quoteboxred|I asked him how he would get there.}}

{{quotebox|I have the [[Sonichu Chronicles|Powerpoint Presentation]] and CADD Sample ready for you, and they will be with me upon my arrival.}}

{{quotebox|But I will most definitely be there live and well, with my powerpoint presentation and all with me in an envelope. And like I said before, I will have been accepted by an associate of Nintenod of America.

I'll see you there Live, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}
==27 January 2009: The Truth Comes Out==
===From Chris to a [[PVCC (board)|PVCC]] poster===
{{quotebox|27 [[January 2009]]
----

I have NOT been lying; Mr. Miyamoto was in D.C. for the meeting this past weekend. I have just uploaded the [[CWC Update 26 January 2009|video]] to YouTube with the update from the meeting.

Peace, 
Christian C.}}
===Miyamoto Demands an Explanation===
{{quotebox|Oh, you didn't understand me? Okay, I'll give it to you straight. In the end, I HAD NO FINANCIAL, FAMILY or CHURCH SUPPORT for the Trip To Redmond, so Tuesday, Janurary 20, 2009, I had created the Powerpoint Presentation for Mr. Miyamoto, and copied it to a CD-R with a copy of the CADD files for my [[CWCville Mall|Cwcville Shopping Mall]]. Then with my [[PSEye]], I recorded, "LIVE" from my Bedroom, my own Personal Message for Mr. Miyamoto, along with a reading of my Powerpoint Presentation. I copied it to a DVD-R. I stored the two Discs in individual Slim CD Cases, tucked them into an envelope Addressed to Mr. Miyamoto c/o Nintendo of America, and Shipped it to N.O.A. the Very Next Day on the 21st, USPS with a Confirmation number of 04797496957005064882. The Delivery of the Discs was made successful on the 23rd.

So, to put it another way, I worked my way AROUND the possible Trolls by Litteraly "Sending Myself" to Mr. Miyamoto via Snail-Mail.

And, considering you sent your message only ONE HOUR AGO from about my 8:30 PM, EST, talking about the meeting's cancelation, yet NOTHING about the DVD and CD I sent to Mr. Miyamoto, it leads me to believe that I may HAVE BEEN talking to a Troll after all. Unless, Mr. Miyamoto, HIMSELF, can prove me wrong by Snail-Mailing me a Hand-Written Verification letter that he received the package, and what he enjoyed most about the content, in his humble opinion.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.

P.S. 
Thank you for a Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet. :)}}

{{quoteboxred|Yeah, read what he sent me. How the FUCK was I supposed to interpret his retarded messages as sending a package to Miyamoto?}}

{{quotebox|Now, That is a Premature thing to say. The Discs were VERY UNLIKELY to be lost, since the Envelope was BIG, it had a BIG PRINTED USPS Stamp on it, and it had my hand-drawn Sonichu Face on it, with a speech balloon saying, "Please Rush To Miyamoto-San Upon Receipt."

I did NOT say that I lost complete faith in this address being that of the REAL Shigeru Miyamoto; I am only exercising caution to one possibility, since the chaos and confusion from multiple messages from real Trolls, as well as legitimate e-mails.

All is NOT LOST; Never Say Die to the Project!

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|To Mr. Shigeru Miyamoto.

I humbly apologize for missing the meeting. I thought sending the Powerpoint Presentation, CADD sample and myself on DVD would compensate, but apparently not. Had I known it would have become null and void, I would have kept them for myself.

Like I had stated previously, I was Unable to afford to make the travel fares. Also, due to the chaos and confusion from the Mix of Legitimate e-mails and Trolls/Internet Bullies/Impostor e-mails, I had a lack of faith in me actually talking to the True Shigeru Miyamoto from my FAMILY, my Local FRIENDS, my CHURCH CONGREGATION and my Attorney. Have I had THEIR Financial and EMOTIONAL Support, I would have been more likely to make the trip.

To gain their Neccessary and Required Support, I would Require a Hand-Written Document of our business together, as well as any other associated documents, Snail-Mailed to my home address of 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968-9545 USA.

I have also deleted the video on YouTube, upon the request.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, being of sound mind and body, still humbly and sincerely with to work with you, Mr. Miyamoto, and reschedule the meeting to when I can get the Financial and Emotional Support from my Family, Friends, Congregation, Attorney and you. AFTER I have received the hand-written Documents of our Business together that I may present unto them all to gain their Financial and Emotional Support, and then soon have the money to make the trip to Redmond or even Japan, I will have my attorney get in touch with you to make the appointment for the meeting for the future of the Sonichu Alpha Project.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Reggie stepped in again and claimed the packages were lost.}}
===From Chris to a [[PVCC (board)|PVCC]] poster===
{{quotebox|27 January 2009
----

I did not go to Redmond. I had NO Financial or Emotional Support from my family, local friends, my church's congregation, nor my attorney; they DID NOT BELIEVE that I was talking to the TRUE Shigeru Miyamoto; they refused to help me, because they cared about me. And I could NOT afford the Trip TO Redmond Alone at this time.

It's for the better anyway; consider how WIDE the scheduled appointment was spread throughout the internet, I was able to have a peaceful weekend, with the Trolls in some other world. I've already Informed Sarah about this, but I created a CD-R with my Sonichu Powerpoint Presentation and CADD Files for the Cwcville Shopping Mall, and a DVD with a LIVE reading of the Powerpoint and personal words, and shipped them to Mr. Miyamoto c/o N.O.A. So, basically, IRL in my person, I've been having a peaceful weekend, FREE from Troll and Internet worries. I had it shipped with Delivery Confirmation, so I KNOW it was delivered successfully on the 23rd.

Unfortunately, while I was hoping that would compensate for my being unable to make the trip, I had learned from N.O.A.'s auto-sender that they do not accept business materials via snail-mail, so the discs were discarded.

I have apologized to N.O.A. and Mr. Miyamoto, and asked him to send me a Hand-Written Document of the business between him and me via snail-mail, for me to present to my family, friends and attorney, so I could make the trip for real in the near future. My attorney would make the appointment.

There was chaos and confusion from the mix of Legitimate e-mails and Troll/Bully/Impostor e-mails, I had to play it safe.

I feel bad about this situation as well, because to Cover for my Family and Local Friends' Care and Concern for my safety and being, considering the possibility of an Impostor who could harm me if I made the trip at this time, I had to Half-Truth around. :(

Peace, 
Christian C.}}

==28 January 2009 to 30 January 2009: Reggie Steps In.==

{{quotebox|I am NOT lazy, Mr. Miyamoto. And I am Terribly Sorry for angering you; I meant no harm. Please, Mr. Miyamoto, do not cancel everything. I come from a mother and father who were of Great Business Practices, and yet I lack a bunch of experiences that they had that I require.

You are right, I was not an employee, but please understand, I was using words that my mother has told me to. Personally, I would have Never use such harsh words. But I abided with her suggestions, because I care for and love her very much; my father as well, I care for and respect him. And just like my family, I have Deepest Respect for you, Mr. Miyamoto. So, in a sense, we're acting like family, you and I. And as such, I have given Greatest Effort to perform to your wishes, I have given Greatest Effort to raise the money for the money locally, but I could not find Local Emotional and Financial Support even from my own Mother and Father, my Church's Congregation and my attorney.

I have Worked VERY HARD on that Powerpoint Presentation, and Worked Very Hard when I drew up the CADD Plans for Cwcville Shopping Mall. I did a hefty amount of thinking in that video and sending all that to Redmon, yet to see that work fall into a discarded abyss. I have WORKED MY HARDEST against the Internet Trolls/Bullies/Impostors who have spited me, hacked into my internet accounts, DELETED my Sonichu Site, and I DID MY BEST in recovering those accounts, and I plan on switching to another Website Hosting Website before I reupload My True Sonichu & Rosechu Site, yet AGAIN I am waiting for my next tugboat from my Social before I can even pay a Website to Host me and grant me a better .com domain name than sonichu.com (which was previously taken before I was able to acquire sonichu.net).

I have WORKED My Mind, My Body, and My Soul VERY HARD in ALL MY WORKS, and I am not Lazy.

Please, Mr. Miyamoto, grant me another chance to make up for my past mistakes from my hard work. I Promise you, that I, Christian Weston Chandler, can and will do a LOT Better than before, and be more capable of meeting with you in the near future.

The only thing I ask at this time is all our business details Written/Printed on Paper and snail-mailed to my home address. And you may have a English-Speaking Nintendo Associate call my father at my home at 434-990-0198, to better convince my family to grant the Emotional Support I Required for making the trip.

Shigeru Miyamoto San, Please help me by granting me another chance, snail-mailing me the documents, calling my father, and above all else, be a family-like friend to me. :)

Peace to you and yours, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Again, I tried to put an end to this by canceling the project and handing it over to [[Clyde Cash]].}}

{{quotebox|I had to create a gmail address to send the files from; the Valid Address with the Powerpoint and CADD files is chriswchansonichu@gmail.com.

Also, Reggie Fils-Aime has sent me an e-mail (shocking, granted, but I had that coming to me; I accept it). Comically in comparison, it was a real-life version of Animal Crossing's Mr. Resetti.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|Here's the Powerpoint Presentation.}}

{{quotebox|That is a bunch of baloney; Reggie is discriminating against me, due to my autism, current emotions and lifestyle. Also, since when does Japan take orders from America? I mean, did Reggie tell you, in his own words that he told me, why?

I will not stand for this.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|[[Reggie Fils-Aimé|Reggie]] continued the conversation from here.}}

{{quotebox|You, sir, are mistaken; I have NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU. Granted, my assumption of being able to make the trip was exaggerated, but my ambitions for the Project are Positive and True. The Encyclopedia Dramatica website is ONLY Slanderous and False!

As for the [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|video]], I will delete it, ONLY after you and Mr. Reggie Fils-Aime come to Virginia Personally and meet my mother and father for a pleasant discussion. Please Reply VIA SNAIL-MAIL.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}
==Related Videos==
*[[CWC AC: City Folk Update]] Chris announces the Animal Crossing promotion that started it all.
*[[CWC Update 8 January 2009]] Gregg Mays compromises Sonichu.net and Chris voices his disapproval.
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]] Chris denounces the "Chris-Chan" article on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009]] Chris announces the hacking of Sonichu.net and the creation of Sonichu.info.
*[[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san]] Chris attempts to reassure Miyamoto that he is the real Chris and not a troll impostor.
*[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]] Chris addresses the incident where trolls hacked his e-mail and sent messages in his name announcing his homosexuality.
*[[CWC Update 26 January 2009]] Chris claims to have attended his 25 January meeting with Miyamoto in Redmond, WA.
*[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]] Chris admits he never went to Redmond, but berates Reggie Fils-Aime for canceling the Sonichu Alpha Project.
*[[CWC Update 31 January 2009]] Chris retracts the above video and pleads with Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aime to reinstate the Sonichu Alpha Project and give him another chance to travel to Redmond.
*[[CWC Update 10 February 2009]] Chris receives a letter from Mike Chandler at Nintendo of America, finally convincing him that he was never in communication with the real Miyamoto to begin with.

==Related Documents==
*[[List of Chris's games]] An Excel Spreadsheet Chris sent to Miyamoto on 11 January 2009 to convince him of his loyalty to Nintendo.
*[[The Sonichu Chronicles]] The PowerPoint Presentation Chris sent to Redmond, WA in lieu of actually traveling there.
*[[CWCville Shopping Center]] Chris sent CADD files of the Mall to Miyamoto along with the PowerPoint file.
*[[Gregg Mays E-mails]] Correspondence between Chris and Clyde Cash posing as a Nintendo employee assigned to redesign his website. This took place concurrently with the Miyamoto correspondence.

==See also==
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] Video Game Designer for Nintendo
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] President of Nintendo of America
*[[Jay Z]] aka James Zylberstein, attorney for Nintendo
*[[Takashi Tezuka]] General Producer of Animal Crossing: City Folk
*[[Clyde Cash]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?jutthjydykt Miyamoto Saga e-mails download]

{{emails}}

[[Category:Miyamoto Saga]]
[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007

2012-07-13T04:36:26Z

Axe: /* Gallery */

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails exchanged by [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] from August through December [[2007]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Adam Stackhouse wins, Chris is a horrible cheater and likes Megan "so much"===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Fri, 3 Aug 2007 9:08:40 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Well, I'm emotionally busted... :(

I just learned that I am not the [[Adam Stackhouse|winner]] of the [[PaRappa]] [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Chop Chop Master Onion Contest]]; among their ten [[videos]], they were organized Alphabetically (I checked the html source, and that explained why I was number 7. Anyway, that lucky jerk, admstackhouse (assumed to be his e-mail name), gets to go to Seattle. That SOB should have really been disqualified; his dance was supposed to be MUSIC-FREE, yet he has some s***y beatbox noises in the background throughout his video (so did two others).

I am [[Chris and Anger|Angry]], Depressed and Lonesome ALL SIMULTANEOUSLY. I worked so d*** hard; I sent like over 500 messages between [[MySpace]], [[PSN|Playstation Network]] and AOL. And I even made up over 120 dummy e-mail accounts to match with their dummy Playstation accounts, so I could stuff the f***in' ballot...

I really wanted to take you somewhere fun and exciting so you and I could be together for longer than usual...and I really wanted to give you and [[John]] each a [[PSP]]... *sigh* I've failed. So much effort...rappin' and dancin' with goofy effects to be even considered...spreading the word as far and wide as possible...wasted. And I did it all for you, Megan; I had you in my heart as I chopped the Onion A-La Mode dance...I gave so much energy, even had a gut virus for a couple of days...crazy I guess.

Anyway, I'm not in such a delighful mood at this time; it may take a few days or so for me to recover...then again, you make me feel happy...I just realized that you were and still are a continuing inspiration for me. I looked at you in our photo ever since you left for Kentucky, and I get a happy feeling... from the feeling of having you to fall on when I feel low. You are such a delightful listener, and you are truly intelligent when you talk about what interests you and such. I am so delighted to have you in my life, and I appreciate you everyday. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Oh, so what if I didn't win that trip; I still can look forward to being able to coming over to your house, or you to mine, sometime. And I will get to see you at least on Fridays (although I'd like to be able to be with you much more than that). I like you so much, Megan.

As for the what happened at [[the Game Place]]; it was so-so, and I didn't get any [[Soul Calibur]] [[cards]] today. Although from my monthly tugboat, I did get the new [[Guitar Hero]] game and the PS1 classic, [[Wikipedia:UmJammer Lammy|UmJammer Lammy]], some ink for my printer, a bunch of slim cd and [[DVD]] cases and a 4GB memory stick duo.

Although I'm certain you have oodles of stories of your days in Kentucky, and I truly look forward to listening to you telling me about them. :)

Thank you, Megan, for being my continuing inspiration. I hope you all are doing well, and I await your safe and sound return. Take care.

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris hopes to make Adam Stackhouse lose by a loophole in the rules===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sun, 5 Aug 2007 8:13:34 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

Yesterday, after some rest, I still felt [[Chris and Anger|anger]] and resentment against that [[Adam Stackhouse|lucky S.O.B. winner]]. But I have found two faults in his video that were against the official rules; there was music, and there was more than one person in the video. I also found three more out of the remaining nine with the similar violations. I have sent some e-mails among the Playstation consumer services, and I have called the company personally and registered my grand complaint. It's not a matter of jealousy or loss; it's the principal of rule violations. Justice will be done to the seven people involved in the four violating videos, or I am not [[Autism|Autistic]].

Anyway, I wanted to let you know about that. I hope you all are still doing well in Kentucky, and I will truly feel so much better when I see you personally in front of me [[Chris and sex|safe and sound]]. :)

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

===Shit hits the fan, Chris confesses his love===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Tue, 7 Aug 2007 2:51:47 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: OUCH....My Heart...

Megan, sweetie, [[List of Chris's lies|I NEVER said anything about you being my "girlfriend"]]; in the video, I said, "The only song I know is 'Master Onion' which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend, Megan. I truly care about your feelings, and I am 500 times sorry... :_( I meant what all I did when I talk about you to be complimentive and flattering, not the contrary. I was only trying to make you happy.

I NEVER meant any [[Chris and rape|"sexual harrassment"]]; granted that [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|I have had one or two fantasies before]], but I sincerely would NEVER intentionally do anything of the sort to you without your consent. You mean SOOOOOO much to me... As youu are aware, I'm guessing, I do not have many [[gal pal|gal-pals]] in or around [[Charlottesville]], and I treasure having you in my life, and as my closest, sweetest friend I could ever have in this one-hores, [[Virgina is for Virgins|VIRGIN-ONLY STATE]]. If I lost you... it would [[Heart level|TOTALLY SHATTER my heart]], my soul, my being. I CAN NOT AFFOARD to lose you; I need you. Having you in my life, and as my gal-pal, is essentally wkat keeps me from reverting to a sad, lonely, depressed, apocolyptic state, like I have expierenced before when that witch of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], SHATTERED MY HEART AND SOUL when I was searching for a [[boyfriend-free girl|BOYFRIEND-FREE]], caring, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], [[Alcohol|non-alcoholic]], white girl to be my friend, and over time maybe grow into a [[sweetheart|SWEETHEART]]. Even right now, as I type this E-mail, I feel like I have been torn vertically into two, and I am typing on a keyboard that has been turned upwardly crooked from being banged against a raised knee... It really hurts...

I will remove the video from the [[internet]] soon as per your request, and I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want you and me to still be friends. And as much as I truly understand how you feel about romance and love, I can't deny the feelings in my heart... I MISSED YOU SOOOOO MUCH; I would look at our [[Chris and religion|sacred photo]] every night, and I would feee soooo much happier, because I have you as my one-and-only, single-solitary, once-in-a-lifetime-like, gal-pal. And I would wonder how you were getting along and faring in Kentucky, and I would hope to get to see you again in front of me soon... Megan... [[Love Quest|I love ou]].

I gotta go.

Faithfully yours; Christian W. Chandler.}}

===Megan is annoyed and creeped out===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
Sent: Wed, 8 Aug 2007 12:42 am 
Subject: .....

Christian-

I haven't been checking my email until recently, and I just want to say that your [[Chris and psychology|behavior has irritated me]] for the last time. First I'll start off with saying that I'm glad you didn't win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|contest]] because I have no interest in going on a trip alone with someone who can't keep his hands off me. I'm not your girlfriend and I never will be. When I say "don't touch me" that means DON'T TOUCH ME! What may seem friendly to you is [[Fuck Quest|sexual harrassment]] to me. You whine that you're just being friendly but you obviously have no consideration for my feelings. The way you went off on Nina because she patted me on the head was very rude and uncalled for. Just because someone else has made physical contact with me doesn't give you the authority to do so. Remember, I have the right to decide who can come near me.

Also I can't say I like how you used my photo in your video and on the cover of your comic book. I want them removed from the internet immediately. Since I'm not a myspace member I can't view what you post. If there are any photos of me on your blog I want them removed.

And I don't like your [[Megan Shrine|"Megan Obsession"]] I don't like being [[Sailor Megtune|a character]] in your [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]]. I don't like how you made me a character in [[Soul Calibur|Soulcalibur]] and [[Animal Crossing]]. That kind of behavior really freaks me out.

With all that said, we're down to two options: 
A: We remain friends and ONLY friends period. As in no more touching me, following me, asking me personal questions, and giving me things. We can still battle and trade cards and talk. 
-or- 
B: Never see me again

I'm sorry it's come down to this but I've told you repeatedly in a nice way to stop, but you've never listened.

I hope you will finally take what I just said into serious consideration, and know now that if try your advances again I won't be very nice about it.

Please listen to me next time 
~Megan}}

===Chris begs Megan not to leave him===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 8 Aug 2007 11:55 am 
Subject: Hey.

I took care of the video; I edited the original video by removing the pic, then I uploaded the new to repace the old. So your face is not in there anymore.

I was depressed ALL DAY from those harsh words, but I'm not blaming you. I can only guess something unexpected happened that wasn't in favor. I apologize if I have offended you in any way. Please don't leave me, Sweet Friend, Megan.

Faithfully yours;

Chris Chan.}}

===Chris says he's not angry or jealous of Adam Stackhouse anymore===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 8 Aug 2007 3:46 pm 
Subject: I now understand.

I understand the possible irriation from being touched, but I now realize what may have set off the [[Chris and Anger|burst of anger]]. It was because of my immature behavior (with jealousy) over the winner of that contest, wasn't it? I wanted you to know that I have honestly given up on that erronious behavior. I do apologize for having expressed that anger, and I offer a peaceful [[rainbow]] as my promise to not get jealous and express such anger again.

You, Megan, truly are an inspiration for the better, even a neccessary "better half", for me. I thank you for leading me toward the light of better judgement.

I hope to see you again soon. <3<3<3<3

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan. :)}}

===Chris continues to beg Megan not to leave===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Mon, 13 Aug 2007 8:27:50 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey...How you doing?

It's been a while, and I haven't heard anything from you. So I thought I would check in.

I can only imagine what your may be feeling from the recent trauma. I truly care and worry about you. I wanted you to know that I blurted out my confession, because [[Heart level|my heart was hit so bad]], that it [[Sex doll|sprung a leak]]... it leaked pain, torment and the deep feelings I had held in for so long. *sigh*

I can't apologize enough for hurting you the way I did with my jealously over the [[Adam Stackhouse|rule-violating winner]], for my lonely, [[Chris and sex|wandering hands]] wanting to feel your gentle, and spunky, soul, for figiting over such trivial gestures that some others were permitted to share with you, whereas you wouldn't permit me to for your reasons... Not knowing your current feelings, not knowing what else is going on in your world, not knowing if you and I are still the closest friends to have been for almost two whole years... is all a great weight on my still-recovering heart and my tearful soul... It's hard for me to enjoy things as I did while I knew you and I were sweet friends, and as I felt there could have been a strong foundation for my one bright future in this [[Autism|cursed Autistic life]]. But since I read that message last week and not having heard anything new from you, my faith for that future felt sooo lost; my faith in our friendship wained thin.

[[Virgin with rage|I CAN'T LOSE YOU, Megan Schroeder]], you are the foundation of my happiness after the depression from my LONG, ENDURING [[Love Quest]], you are the inspiration for me to carry on as I was able to for the past greater than a year and so on, you were the reason that I was able to shed fewest tears for that time.

Please, please, please, forgive me, let me know that you and I are still the closest friends, and don't deprive you and me of our fun by boycotting the Friday trips to [[the Game Place]].

Truly, I just would fall into an infinite sink-hole of depression if I lost you from my life, and it would be an unbearable tragedy... *sigh*

Please reply as soon as possible.

<3<3<3.....<3........<.....3................

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

===Chris talks about another contest and his ENDURING LOVE QUEST===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Subject: Hey, Megan 
Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 10:09 pm 
Attachments: Patti-Chan_Folklore_plus_details.jpg (238K), Patti-Chan_Folklore.jpg (111K)

I didn't get a chance to tell you, but it was truly good to see that you all got back safe from Kentucky...I truly did miss you. Also it is a weight off my shoulders to hear from you that we are still good friends.

Anyhoo, how did John do in his Mechanics class; what was his grade and such? How was your stay in Kentucky? And have you been practicing your [[Guitar]] skills on your PS2? *I hope you got better. :)

Also, a few weeks ago, I learned about the Folklore Create-A-Creature contest on the Playstation website; make up a unique creature suitable for the Fantasy world of the upcoming [[PS3]] game, write up the details of the character and send in the .jpg file. Five will be chosen, among whom will win a copy of the PS3 game and a matching artwork book, and Only One will be programmed into a upcoming Downloable-from-the-Playstation-Store Add-On where the creature will be catchable and playable in the game. Simply put, I sent in [[Patti-Chan]] (see image below). Speaking of [[Patti]], cute-like story, it was June 27, 2007, the date of the first year anniversary since her accent to heaven. On that date, neither of us realizing the anniversary yet, but my mother talked about going to the local SPCA building and adopting a new dog. That night, I realized it upon a Random Remembering, and I cried for a while, so did my mother after I had informed her. But we did realize that we talked about adopting a new dog on the date of the first anniversary. Bless her soul.

Well, like I said, I will be returing to the [[University of Virginia|UVA's Alderman Library]] twice a week starting Sept. 4 to resume my Sweetheart Search (AKA [[Love Quest]]). *sigh* It will be lonely, torturing and enduring like it has been in the past, but I have my dream of a lil' [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. And the movies and games on my PSP will give me something else to think about as I go back to wishin', hopin', and prayin' to be found by an "18-25-Year Old, caring, sweet, smoke-free, non-alcoholic, white girl" (hopefully a virgin) "to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up". And at the end of each lonely wait, I will quote my old [[random access humor|joke]] of a commercial, "Call Right Now, and we'll send you a Beautiful Girlfriend FREE". Then I will pretend to call RIGHT NOW, and always get BUPKIS. *sigh* Whatever.

One more thing, while I'm thinking about it, are you finished with the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Ranger|Pok'emon Ranger]] DS game yet, because I still remember our deal?

Well, take care you all; I'll see you all again next Friday.

Your Friend; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan is going to give Chris some stuff, appreciates him backing off===
{{quoteboxred|
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Cc: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
Subject: hey 
Date: Mon, 1 Oct 2007 5:37 pm

That's odd...according to my yahoo sent items folder it was sent. 
It pretty much said how I had all the unwanted cards. And I am looking for 3 cards now since you somehow figured out Revenant was on that list as well. Dang you're good! The [[Wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS cards]] I'm looking for are these: Manas & Ayas (note I think the card spells it "Ayus" which is different from the game's spelling) It's from the first SC expansion Voldo (from the first exp. 4 dots, standing upright, arms crossed) Voldo (a promo card, back facing us, butt visible, the image is an official namco drawing) And I'm also really looking for ANYTHING on the StreetFighter character [[Wikipedia:Vega (Street Fighter)|Vega]]. And one more thing, a Promo card of R. Mika. (I think the picture- she has her arms in the air.) And that's it. I hope you get lucky! Not saying you would but please don't start a R.Mika deck...I worked hard and hate being copied. You stick with the Greek Girls!

I also said how I'm doing a major room clean and can give you things I don't want. I'm still finding more stuff but so far I have: 
Absolute Boyfriend poster 
figurine of Primera from the series [[Wikipedia:Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle|Tsubasa Chronicle]] 
[[Wikipedia:Tokyo Boys & Girls|Tokyo Boys and Girls]] vol.1 (manga) 
[[Wikipedia:Someday's Dreamers|Someday's Dreamers: Spellbound]] vol.1 (manga) 
a [[My Little Pony]] badge/button/pin thing 
Some more extra [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] cards

I'm sure I'll find more stuff, let me know if you want any and all of the above. In exchange for whatever cards you find or something Still haven't played SCIII <nowiki>*sigh</nowiki>...I'll get around to it soon...

Let me know and thanks!

~Megan

PS I also said thank you for finally understanding and giving me space and toning down your affections. Even so I also said that you are still my good friend and take everything you've given me and done with great appreciation.}}

===Chris talks about cards and how lonely he is===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Subject: Re: hey 
Date: Mon, 1 Oct 2007 11:24 pm 
Okay, here's the summary:

UFS SC Set 1 FOIL UR SR Manas & Ayas 
UFS New UR SR Promo Foil R Mika 
From same Vendor for total of $8.25 
UFS Street Fighter Vega SF02 092/126 
From another Vendor for a total of $4 
UFS Street Fighter VEGA'S CLAW SF02...096/126 Rare 
From another for a total of $3.99 
UFS Street Fighter FOIL Vega SF1P****06/12 PROMO 
UFS Soulcalibur III FOIL Voldo SC3P****14/16 PROMO 
UFS Soulcalibur III FOIL Voldo SC01****091/143 URARE 
From Paladin Game and Hobbies for a total of $10.72

Which totals to (rounded up) $27, and with the $4 from Revenants, that makes it $31. Although I would feel better with a total cash settlement (or installments totaling to), I will take off $18 for your listed merchandise in your recent e-mail, taking the total down to $13. Also, for your information, you have mentioned the Revenant card in your e-mail from your Yahoo address you sent on the 30th of Sept. And as for the whole toning down the affections thing... in a nutshell, yes that's what I did... but I had to redirect them towards going back to my Sweetheart Search... Until I am found by a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] who can and is willing to grow into my sweetheart, (since I have no new special someone to call upon yet) I am finding myself still [[Mass debating|silently calling]] for you when I'm feeling lonely... Quite the quandry. 
Anyhoo, I will let you know of any updates, or I will read your reply.

Take care; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Megan also talks about cards===
{{quoteboxred|
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Cc: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
Subject: Re: hey 
Date: Tue, 2 Oct 2007 10:53 am

Thank you very much. I will bring you the 13$ and merchandise this friday. Thank you for finding these cards I never find what I'm looking for too often.

I will also bring the lot of girl cards and I hope to find the rest of the cassandras as well. Can you list me the holos you have and I'll tell you ahead what I'm interested in. Only list what you're willing to trade. And when you list found/act/attk please write beside- the character they go with like Despair-Voldo. 
Thanks so much again! See you soon!

~Megan}}
===Chris talks about Crocs and how he was kicked out of the library for soliciting sex===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Subject: Just wanted to warn John... 
Date: Thu, 4 Oct 2007 8:37 pm

I've just learned on the [[Wikipedia:John_Tesh#John_Tesh_Radio_Show|John Tesh Radio Show]] that people who wear [[Wikipedia:Crocs|Croc Shoes]] on escelators are having their toes, toenails gnashed, torn off or worse. If he is in an area where there is an escelator, encourage him to use an elevator or stairs.

I have not received the cards yet, nor have I been able to get that second [[Wikipedia:Manaphy#Manaphy|Manaphy]] egg yet. I've had a surprise Tuesday while I was sittin' at the [[University of Virginia|Alderman Library]] (waitin' to be found by a Boyfriend-Free girl). Some old hag and her bodyguard approached me and made it obvious that it was verbodden to find True Love there. Who did she think she was; the wife of the Pope? I disregarded her intrusion, but I am cautious about the possibility of another clash of battle, like in the past with that Witch of [[PVCC]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], that [[Jerkief]] at [[Fashion Square]] and the [[Manajerks]] at [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]]. Unlike Tuesday and the previous events, I am much saltier than I was.

I will never fall for the FALSE Law of True Love searching and sharing being illegal in the State of Virginia, or in short "[[Virginia is for Virgins]]," nor will I quit chillin' at the Library's Lounge Tuesdays and Thursdays with a printed advertisement in the neighborhood.

But I digress. I will see you at the Game Place tomorrow.

Take Care; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10:26 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: I'm sorry... <nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

The hugging was one thing, but when I heard the smack of your kiss on his cheek, it started a chain reaction in my head from "OMG" to simultanious infuration and jealousy. I assure you that I would not do anything extreme to Christopher.

Originally, I was not fond of him, because it was obvious that he was a [[homos|homo]]. Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation. I've seen [[Wikipedia:Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina|the episode]] of "[[South Park]]" where [[Wikipedia:Herbert Garrison|Mr. Garrison]] had that operation; they showed the [[Nudes|gruesome details]]. ugh...

I was programmed to be more favorable towards women over those of my gender. With the infinitely high Boyfriend-Factor, I am not fond of about 99.999999999996% of the total male population, with a margin-of-error of the 4 billionth of a percent (for about 100 men) of whom are okay acquaintences. Those doofs get all the luck, having a Sweetheart to care for and to be cared from, getting all the hugs, kisses and e motional support and the security of a solid future without lonliness and with love and children. And besides that, my [[Autism]] is not much help on the programming of my mind. *sigh*

Oh, my life.

I have been trying to move on, but I still have caring feelings for you, Megan, since I still have not found another Boyfriend-Free woman to transfer the care to. I sit at the UVA's Alderman library for Three Hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with a printed advertisement taped on the bar-type furniture across from me, and I am waiting, hoping and praying to be found/picked up by a Boyfriend-Free, 18-25-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcholic, white woman, who will voluntarily be my Gal-Pal to Girlfriend to Sweetheart. Can you understand the loneliness I feel from days and days of not even being approached by a caring someone while I wait and wait and wait to be found by a caring someone? Not only is it Very Lonesome, but it is Tiresome, Troubling and Frustrating... *sigh* It's been that way since the beginning of my Sweetheart Search in August, 2003. Granted the relieving heart poundings I felt for you for over a year, until the e-mail I received during the Parappa contest last August.

But rest-assured, aside from the past issues and angst against the males of the Boyfriend-Factor, I, Christian Christopher Weston Chandler, have not and will not ever have any intention of killing or murdering or physically ensue pain towards any person, including your Christopher.

I am sorry about Friday night, Megan.

Take care; Christian Christopher Weston Chandler.}}

===Megan had it worse in school===
{{quoteboxred|
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Cc: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
Subject: ok 
Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 5:18 pm

Ok, thanks for the reassurance. Yes I can understand your lonliness because I was the same way...worse maybe. I mean you actually had friends through school. I didn't have any friends at all. I was treated very badly by everyone. To the point where I had to drop out and graduate through homeschool.

I still want you to know that you are still my friend. And I am grateful for everything you've done. When I look through my huge book of Sailormoon cards, I'm almost to tears because YOU were the reason it has grown into a magnificent collection! :) I appreciate everything you've done and given me. Thank you.

I'm still not interested in marriage though. It's not my style. ;)

Well hopefully things will work out now. 
And let me know if there was anything you wanted for the foil [[Wikipedia:Street Fighter Alpha 3|R. Mika]] cards you have. I even have extra commons for her if you're interested. 
Talk to you later 
You take care and feel better soon. 
haha I'm still shy about his affections though! I'm like, ok, I'm on his lap, what do I do? hahaha 
~Megan}}

===Megan is pissed that Chris is nosing in her business===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 21 Oct 2007 4:24 am 
Subject: what's up?

Christian I can probably understand how you're feeling. You looked [[Chris and anger|pretty pissed]].....not to mention giving my friend the "[[:Image:FuckYouTito.jpg|fucky finger]]".

Why? Why do you hate him so much? Cause now he's really scared that you're going to go after him and kill him!

Besides if you have to hate someone, it should be me because I'M the one who didn't return your feelings and didn't want a serious relationship. Remember I have [[Women's Rights|the right]] to decide who I want to be with. Now I'm not saying that I hate you. You are still my friend....that is if you're going to stop keep getting grudges and tormenting my friend. You're hatred and jealousy towards him is affecting me as well. How do I know you're not going to do something rash? So please just leave us alone.

I'd like for you to just accept this and move on. You have no right to hate him, he did nothing bad to you! Personally I thought you'd actually be happy for me. So please listen to me and please don't do anything bad and just leave Chris alone.

Please get back to me 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Subject: Hey, I'm cool. 
Date: Sun, 21 Oct 2007 9:25 pm

Yeah, I'm mostly over what happened Friday. But I have a single quandry to ask, and I would appreciate an [[Honest Content|honest answer]], please. Did Christopher ask you to sit on his lap, or what incentive gave you reason to do that? Please reply with an honest answer.

Other note, I picked up a couple of blank [[wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS League cards]] for you and John to sign your names on; I'll give them to you two Friday. No tournament happened earlier; not enough people.

Take care; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Chris is scared of some fanart===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Nov 2007 11:50:23 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Megan, I've had so much to worry about today

The Good News though is that I've had more fans for Sonichu than I thought. Now the worse to bad...

I got this [[Evan|E-Mail]] earlier that had a set of four fanart of Sonichu and ME. While I enjoyed more the spoof of me sitting at by a box on a sidewalk, "Girlfriend Auditions," and the one with me glaring in the eyes of a blue hedgehog in armor. The OTHER TWO in that set of four... FREAKED, CREEPED AND SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!! (A lot worse than my freak-out over you on Christopher's lap last night; please keep that in private, in other words, "Get A Room.") I sent him a reply with respective [[Masturbating and squirtin'|criticism]]. I WAS INFURIATED!!!

Then later, I learn from an anonymous tipster about this girl'ss profile page on [[deviantART]], while she has good and fun fanart of Sonichu, SHE IS TAKING THE CREDIT, AND PLACING A FAKE COPYRIGHT, 2007 WITH HER NAME ON IT!!! You, Me, and the rest of the Sonichu Fan Club know that Sonichu Was Born On MARCH, 17, 2000 (Y2K). I sent her a message requesting her to remover her claim of copyright with a warning of Legal Actions.

All the images are attached to this e-mail, or I can show them to you on my PSP later. =0 A I just needed to get that off my head and heart, since my mom fell asleep on me at the moment.

Okay, I'll see you hopefully at the UFS Tournament. Also, don't forget to set your clocks one hour back this weekend.

Take care; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris talks about cards and mentions Lori===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net Cc: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Sun, 18 Nov 2007 2:45:14 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Just to let you know...

Hey, Megan. It became kind of a ghost-town at the Game Place last Friday; most of the children left. It's too bad you didn't make it. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I got a Piplup and Turtwig through SUCCESSFUL Trades through the [[wikipedia:Global Trade Station|GTS (Wi-Fi)]]. Also, have you or John gone underground with the Explorers' Kit? I found 4 Skull Fossils, so I have 3 extra Craniados; if I don't get one through the GTS by the Friday after Thanksgiving (NO LEAGUE this coming Friday), I need the other fossil Pokemon of the Diamond/Pearl Generation (the one that evolves into Bastiedon). I will trade you or John a Craniados for that Fossil Pokemon. One more thing, please Show me a Palkia in my Diamond game, so I can try to get one through the GTS.

That's about it for now. Please reply ASAP.

Take care; Chris Chan.

P.S. This is [[Lori Lopez|Lori]]; the girl my buddy [[Joshua Martinez|Joshua]] is hooking me up with. She had it done at JMU; that's why it has her name on it.}}

===Megan is curious===
{{quoteboxred|
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Subject: Re: Just to let you know... 
Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2007 10:05 am

Well I'm not too far with Pearl but John has a lot of Pokemon. Have you met this girl yet? Well I hope it goes well for you. Let me know how it goes! I forgot to ask last night but could you find out if there will be UFS this coming sunday? Thanks!

Bye bye 
~Megan}}
===Chris really likes Pokemon===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Subject: Re: Just to let you know... 
Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2007 2:17 pm

I'll be meeting [[Lori Lopez|Lori]] soon. I've traded a LV.20 Male Burmy for a Shieldon over the GTS, so I'm good on the fossils for now. Not this coming Sunday; it's Thanksgiving Weekend; No Pokemon this week either. Thank you for replying and letting meknow. Please work on getting that Palkia, so I can have my character see it, so I can find it through the GTS. I will likely start the Ranger adventure again so I can get my own Manaphy. BTW, try Manaphy and Ditto at the Day Care; my Player's Guide says there's a non-evolving baby Manaphy to be hatched from that combination.

Take care; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Megan asks him for Nazi music or something===
{{quoteboxred|
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: Christian Chandler <cwcsonichu@aol.com> 
Subject: one more favor? 
Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:08 pm

Hey, I hope things go well between you and Lori.

Hope it's not a problem but I have ONE more request from [http://sailormusic.net/ Sailormusic.net]. I was going to download the ogg.vorbis thing but it didn't work...

On the international Albums could you please save all the German stuff for me please? I think each link is compressed file of several songs. Would that be ok with you? I would really like them and can't find them anywhere else...

Thanks again, I'll remember to bring Pokemon next time 
PS is it possible to save them and maybe email me the converted files? 
~Megan}}

===Chris is boring and still likes Pokemon===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com Cc: polizeigewalt@aim.com 
Sent: Tue, 18 Dec 2007 8:42:27 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hey, Megan.

Just a reminder; please reply if otherwise, but please don't forget my [[wikipedia:Memory Stick#Memory Stick Duo|Memory Stick Duo]], as well as yours and John's Pokemon Diamond/Pearl games and DS Systems for when I meet you all at The End tomorrow.

I will be sure to come with my Wii and Pokemon Battle Revolution and my [[wikipedia:Datel Action Replay|Action Replay DS]] accessory.

I will check my e-mail tomorrow in the afternoon for your reply.

Take care, and see you all tomorrow. Chris Chan.}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:20070807a-Meg-Piss Off.PNG
Image:Megan 07-10-20-1.PNG
Image:Megan_07-10-20-2.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Megan emails, 2008

2012-07-13T04:36:14Z

Axe: /* Gallery */

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails exchanged by [[Megan]] and Chris in [[2008]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Chris wants Megan to live with him===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Wed, 2 Jan 2008 7:06:12 AM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: A thought for you, Megan

Considering [[Chandler Family Tree|my family]], and [[14 Branchland Court|"I'm livin' under their roof"]], you may want to consider typing up all that you told me last night to back you up in the face of my family. And you may want to set some additional funds aside for rent. Also, offering to help with the chores is good.

I am unanimous with myself in welcoming you to our house as our guest for as long as you need, and I truly meant every word I said. It's my mother's and father's opinion you may have for another obsticle.

I hope my family will be willing to help you, a descendant German Warrior Traveler. :)

Take care; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan doesn't want to be on Chris's websites===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 7:49 am 
Subject: Thanks again

Hey thanks again SO VERY much for your thoughtful and kind and generous trade. Though I feel as though I took all your money since it mostly goes to your parents. :( But Thank You very much. I doubt I will be asking for much in the future, so just as an appreciation bonus I will go ahead and give you the [[wikipedia:Hamtaro|Hamtaro]] toys along with the rest of the manga and stuff. I'm sorry to hear about [[Grace Baptist Church|the Church thing]], I mean God forgives and gives second chances. Some people just aren't meant to work under His name, like [[Wikipedia:Catholic sex abuse cases#United States|all the priests who abuse young boys]]. Yeah that [[internet]] thing is getting very much out of hand and would like to ask if you could please take down or remove anything that has to do with me from any of your websites. I don't want to appear on those sites as well. Thanks again! ~Megan}}

===Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Wed, 12 Mar 2008 6:23:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: I am sooooo sorry

I didn't realize how much of an... a-hole I could have been; I was [[Chris and anger|caught up in the rage]] from that weekend in November when I did that; I couldn't even see straight. But I have done what I should have done long ago; inform [[wikipedia:AOL|AOL]], as well as other places on the web who can take down offensive websites and pages.

I've really shot myself in the foot, and I am sorry. Not only am I mad at myself for being such a complete enraged a-hole, but my rage against those jerks who put that page up in the first place arose with greater flame, because my closest friend got hurt emotionally (that's you).

I will see to that website's demise, or my name isn't Christian Weston Chandler.

[[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you]].

[[List of Chris's lies|Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you]].

And I am prepared to repeat that hundred times from the bottom of my hurting heart.}}

===Chris emails her some detective work, Megan likely doesn't give a shit===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 1:23:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Follow up

I have been investigating, in addition to out-of-spite "adding fire to the flame", since I've first found it randomly in that fateful day, November 2, 2007. Please allow me to fill you in. My first major clues of a matching duo were the original date of the document creation, Wednesday, Ocotber 31, 2007, and this .jpg, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan, which was obviously taken on the previous Friday, October 26, 2007. For the week, my family and I were pondering the major suspect; the dude who took that pic, which I distinctly remember seeing the camera flash while I playing a young gentleman in Pokemon TCG. Thus, my family came in and we found that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had the camera in question, but he did not take the picture. Then we've suspected [[Lucas]], but we did not question him at the time. But a more obvious expression reply was found by myself, when Saturday March 8, 2008, at the Gamestop in Forest Lakes, the Midnight release event of [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Super Smash Bros. Brawl]], Mimms and I were watching a pair of tournament players brawling; one was playing [[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong|Donkey Kong]]. So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing. And today, I looked up [[Wikipedia:4chan|4Chan]] on Wikipedia.com, http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg, apparently 4Chan is solely a web thing that people can go on and mess around for the attention, with examples of false bombings, hackers on [[MySpace]], and more similar events listed on there. Upon the collected information on this case I've let set on the back-burner for a while, I can only suspect Lucas for being the culpret in putting that page up in the first place, because, seeing how close [[Mimms]] and Lucas were, he had as much access to the beforementioned pic from October 26 as Mimms did. Also, I photographically remember the person who took my pic that day being tall and wearing a long coat. I'd like to put Lucas under a spotlight and question him about this whole thing, then put him behind bars for descreation of someone else's character. I'd question him myself, but [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] of [[The GAMe PLACe|the Game Place]] said after my mother and father questioned Mimms that Friday night, if I were to bring up ANYTHING about that page again, he would kick me out of the Game Place for like a month. If you'd like to talk to Lucas discreetly about the subject, I'd appreciate it for the benefit of my investiga tion.

Megan, I am sorry about this whole mess, and having drawn that drawing, and raging the fire and hurting your feelings and emotions. If I can, not only will I get that drawing off that webpage, but I'll try to take down the whole thing. But I can't do it alone (my mother and father have been letting it set on the back-burner without giving it much thought).

I can only hope you'll forgive me, but no matter what, I still love you as my closest gal-pal.

I hope you feel better soon; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan is scarred by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 7:33 am 
Subject: well...

I just don't know what to say now....

I am very much scarred by that image and it will never leave me. And I can't decide what's worse, the image in general, or the fact you intentionally drew it AND gave it to the webmaster for that site that you hate so much. Not only have you poured gas on the fire by doing that,(adding obscenity to the already horrific site) but you have also embarrassed and humuliated me, and degraded and demeaned me whether you realize it or not. I mean I'm not that kind of girl, and you know that. So why? And you also lied to me about it.

Between that and my recent [[Heart level|heartbreak]] how am I to trust another man again? Simply put: I can no longer trust anyone now.

You have very much hurt me on an emotional level. And when I get hurt emotionally it'll take a physical toll. As in no appetite, feeling tired and sick, no sleep.

So I am unsure what to do about this. I can't say I really think of you the same anymore, I'm sorry to say. I will continue to give the remaining items for the zune and that will be all the contact you have with me unless I decide otherwise. I hope you understand. So we'll let time decide how I feel about this current situation. Until then please don't come up to me anymore unless it's to give you what I owe which seems kind of awkward now.

I know how it feels to be alone but, I can't keep throwing away my pride little by little just to keep you satisfied, you know what I mean? There has to be an "enough is enough" at some point. And I cannot continue to disgrace myself by forgiving things that I never find forgivable in the first place.

That's all I can think to say right now 
I'm sorry, we'll just see 
~Megan}}

===Megan wants Chris to leave her alone===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Fri, 14 Mar 2008 4:06 am 
Subject: ok..

Ok well look, I am unsure how I feel and what to do. So here's what I think. I'd like for you to just completely leave me alone for a while, until I can sort things out myself, you understand? It's not like I hate you, but I don't see you in the same light anymore. So just leave me be for a while, let me try to recuperate with my few other friends. And maybe we can just start from scratch sometime. Maybe, I dunno, just depends on how I feel ok? So please let me be, and let me see how it goes ok?}}

===Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Fri, 14 Mar 2008 4:10:38 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Re: ok..

I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to [[Chris and sex|sexual images]] as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of outtercourse (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry. If it helps put things into perspective, I can reccomend finding information on the internet through this educational website I've found through [[Sex toys|AdamEve.com]]. Or I reccomend renting [[wikipedia:The 40-Year-Old Virgin|"The 40 Year Old Virgin"]]; that movie touches on some of the issues around sex, and how it can really frustrate an older virgin who hasn't had the pleasure yet (or I can loan you my copy of "The 40 Year Old Virgin"). The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.

I worry about you, and I want to help you as much as I humanly can. While I AM on the verge of taking that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|EncyclopediaDramatica]] page taken down, I understand that there are a number of other web pages of hate against me, and as much as I would like to be able to track every one down and report them and get on the verge of taking them down as well, someone else may put another hate page up against me. It's a fact of this modern world known as [[Trolls|"Cyber Bullying"]].

And as for the drawings, while I have shoved the text information down their throat in an attempt to drown them in submission; there were too many images of...[[Duck|penises]]...yech, on there. I drew drawings promoting vaginas to go against those dickheads. I did the drawing of [[Sonichu]]] fucking [[Rosechu]], I did the drawing of [[Bubbles]] getting it from [[Black Sonichu]] (I had the idea of paring them up in the comic book anyway), I did the drawings of [[Angelica]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] (that witch hag) mastubating. And I did draw the drawing of me giving you a hand job, from among my adult fantasies, with your eyes censored to conceal your identity. It was a massive step outside of my boundries, and I did it out of anger, and I regret having done it, and I am really, really, sorry. But we all do things in the heat of anger, and/or out of our boundries, that we end up regretting later.

Megan, Sweetheart, I will give you as much space as you need during your time of recovery and learning how to cope with it and put it into your own perspective. But please remember, I will always worry about you, and even though you may not feel the same about me as you did before, I still Care and [[Love quest|Love You Very Much]]. <3<3<3<3<3

Take care; my thoughts and prayers are with you; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris bothers Megan about Encyclopedia Dramatica again===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Sun, 16 Mar 2008 12:28:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Megan.

I hope you're doing well. Anyway, I'll get to the point; there is a way you can work with me on the elimination of the "Chris-chan" page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], basically the pages on whole ED website are wiki (similar to html editing), and setting up an account to edit the page is free; you may want to use a fake e-mail address. Anyway, you can remove the all the junk they put about you on there, as well as the drawing from the page for starters, but be careful not to take out TOO MUCH; they may undo your doing, so you may want to make multiple edits; remove the story on the first time, then add some random thing that comes to your mind onto the bottom of the page. [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|I've managed to have the drawing removed and replaced with a different, yet similar image for a while, but they undid that bit of my handiwork]].

I can only do so much at one time, since after I make an edit (behind their backs), they "ban" my IP address from undoing their undoing, and I have to wait a few hours to a day or two before I can anything more against them.

That's the story there.

Also, under a spot of rage against them for the answer some of them gave me when I asked them why they hated me, I've alerted the media about it through e-mail. I've said nothing about you to them, but you may want to try to remove the stuff about you from the page ASAP.

Again, I am really sorry about this whole mess.

I pray for your emotional recovery. Keeping you fondfully in my thoughts; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan is fed up===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 16 Mar 2008 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan.

Look, my main issue is NOT the website itself. It's just the fact that you drew those weird pictures. Um....ok...so instead of removing that one completely, you just [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#15_March|enlarge]] my crotch....thanks a lot....WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST REMOVE IT??!!

Well I'm sorry but that just makes me more angry in a way. It's not that actual sex-act that traumatises me, it's the fact that you fantasize doing such things to me when you know I would never. It's like, how do I know you're not going to abduct me and such? That was a figure of speech. You know what I mean? It creeps me out you have such thoughts about me. It's like you're stalking me so you really need to back off.

I mean thinking like that is one thing (though disturbing as well) But sitting down and actually drawing a detailed image of it is even worse. I don't like being around people like that at all!

I don't like being around people who think only of sex and pleasure. I don't care how lonely you are, I haven't had luck with relationships either, but I don't boast about being a "[[virgin with rage]]" When you say things like that, it just makes it sound you're looking for someone to fuck.

I'm sorry to say this but you're partially to blame for some of the content on the site. Because things about me and things they quoted about me came from you obviously. You have those blog things and so you [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#12_November|blabbed]] to the whole cyber world about the angry [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|email]] I sent you last summer. Ok, just WHOSE business is it anyway? I don't understand why you post things involving me like that. And you also made it sound that I just wrote you an angry email and you had nothing to do with it, when in fact the reason being was because I was sick of telling constantly to stop touching me. That is SEXUAL HARRASSMENT. I wrote the email in response to what YOU did wrong to me.

Although it may not seem like a big deal to you, it was to me. Just because I've allowed other guys to hug me, doesn't mean you automatically have that right. I have the [[Women's rights|right]] to decide who can get close to me. If a female doesn't like the way a guy advances or touches her, even if other females are ok with it- if that one female doesn't like it, it IS sexual harrassment. You greatly need to understand that.

That's all I have to say to you 
I'm too angry and upset to want to help with the website's demise. So sorry but you're on your own with that one.

PS I think it's rather amusing how you complain of these people defiling you. Yes many posts are ridiculous BUT you have defiled Mary Lee Walsh, and our wonderful security officers who were simply doing their job. Then you defiled me. And lied about it.

You need to stop with this mindset that the whole world's against you, and start taking some responsibility for once. Example, it's wrong to hate these people when YOU broke the rule by soliciting/loitering. Hey at least they're doing their job and I support that.}}

===Chris continues bothering her about ED===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 8:46:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Megan...

Firstly, I suggest that you take another look at the page; in the FIRST Paragraph, they theorize and mock me with, and I copy and past to quote, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|"and drawing pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary twin sister."]] And the images were ALIGNED to the RIGHT, so the theory is matched UP to DOWN with respective image comments from, "... Imaginary sister?" to "I don't like where this is going" and finally, "Chris' own artwork portraying his sick fantasies." And to break my camel's back, they state in the second paragraph under "The Comic Itself", I quote, "A later upload by CWC himself verified that he wants to have sex with his imaginary twin sister. So, this Crystal would be both his daughter and sister... In other words, he wants to impregnate his mother, then have sex with the offspring."

Secondly, I have TRIED to delete the nude drawing, even to replace it, but in the discussion page of my account I created to edit the page away from mockery, but every time I delete or replace the image, they would re-upload the original pic. They call what I'm doing AGAINST the "article" vandalism, and they tell me, "vandalism is completely pointless (click here to find out why), and will get you a swift ban, so you might as well stop." And even though after they "ban" me, I wait a few hours to a couple of days and I am unbanned. You can consider me "The Resistance" against the "Alien Dominators" of E.D., because that's the role I am occupying in this tragedy.

Also, I've told them they're not only hurting me emotionally, but they were hurting you, Megan, emotionally and deeply as well, because they were dragging your name through the mud with mine.

As for the drawing itself, I've realized that it was done not only out of inspired fantasy, angst against E.D., and love for you, but also a [[Mass debating|major release for my crazy, mixed-up hormones]]. If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac, so thank god for allowing me to release my bottled up frustrations in a more positive, yet not so "Politically Correct", and not physically hurting others, method.

Be the release as it may, I am hurting [[Chris and his Ego|SOOOOO MUCH MORE]] than you can be, because I have been taking the abuse from those [[jerks]] on E.D. If you want to get it all off the "article", be my guest; make your account, send your message of the "Resistance" and delete the Major Chunk off the page in edit; they will only undo your missile barrage of damage in one felt swoop.

I am depressed and emotionally exausted from [[Stress|ALL THIS STRESS]]. The only thing I can do that won't get undone is be as apologetic as I can ever be from the bottom of my sad, depressed heart.

I'm Sorry, Megan, for the massive warfare I have wrought against you and me in a damn fucktarded release of my damn hormones.

I'm sorry. Christian Weston Chandler.}}

===Chris does not regret the Meganporn and claims drawing it helped prevent him raping her===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Fri, 21 Mar 2008 9:03:16 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Megan

You know about as much as I know that I have taken responsibility for my error, and it has also been bringing me the darkest pain this month.

I want to patch up our friendship, because I do not want any further discomfort between you and me. Although the acursed page is there now, if we just ignore it, it may fade away in a month or so. Also, if we let every little [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty detail]] bother us, we're just as bad off as any pop or rock star. They get abused a lot by the paparazi and the media for the details of their deeds that they could not have known about themselves at the time. From the maximum amount of stress from all that; they sometimes get totally out of whack and possibly hurt themselves. But you and I are only civilians without so much fame and fortune; you and I, we do not have to suffer such Star Stress; if we only put it behind us, we don't have to build such a stressful level within ourselves.

I myself had left it a good distance behind me for a few months, but then you were bothered by it. And I couldn't help but dig up the remains left behind, only to build up a very stressfully torturing month for me.

Megan, I am sorry for uploading the drawing, and I really wish I could go [[Sonichu 7|back in time]] and stop myself from making the mistake. Yet I do not regret drawing the drawing, because if I hadn't released my frustrations in the creative sense, I might actually have done [[Rape|something]] really dumb and stupid. It was really stupid of me to let my impulsive anger get the best of me and make me upload it in an attempt to shove so much information down their throats and drown them into taking the page down.

[[List of Chris's lies|But I've learned from my mistakes]], and I regret letting my frustrations and [[Chris and anger|anger]] get the best of me. All I can do is put the whole thing behind me, try not to think about again, never look at the damn page, and move on with my life.

For the sake of our friendship, Megan, PLEASE just forget about the dang webpage, put it behind you, and let's resume our good friendship like the whole mess never happened.

I still love you, Megan, and I honestly care and worry about you from my heart.

Peace; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris still wants Megan===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Sat, 22 Mar 2008 3:28:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan

I've DELETED ALL of the [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|ORIGINAL BLOGS]] months ago, just to let you know. I can understand how you're feeling against me now, but it really hurts me and makes me sad that you don't want me close to you.

I'm just a lonly old-feeling fool who needs closure once in a while, and [[Barbara|my mother]] and [[Bob|father]] won't be around forever. I can remember the times we were close, we shared our honest feelings openly, my PSOne games on my [[PSP of Fail|PSP]], and your Strawberry Pink character drawings...I really miss those tender moments. And I got you all that stuff from eBay; the [[Sailor Moon]] cards, the DVDs, the figurines, the rest of that stuff, and recently the [[Wikipedia:Zune|ZUNE]], and you have repaid the pleasure of doing all that for you with greater interest. I love to see you smile, I love to see you happy, and I love seeing the sweet, honest, tender and carefree kinda gal who is [[Megan Schroeder]].

But now that I am barred from you for a big mistake I made that I have taken a great deal of responsibility, through trying to undo it, through taking down the previous pages leading up to it, through a month full of [[stress]], tears, lonliness and too many moments standing by myself...

Remember some time ago, you jested that you wanted me to give up my heart to you? Well, basically, I had already done that just after you and I met; my heart still cries for you; not a moment passes by when I don't have a tender, caring or worried thought about you.

Although I do understand your feelings, and I can only respect your wish of staying away from you...<nowiki>*sob**sob*</nowiki>...my heart still cries for you, I'll always be worrying about you, and I will always Love You, Megan Schroeder. <nowiki>*sob*</nowiki>

I'll see you Sunday..., and I guess that's ALL I'll get to do with you...[[The Creepy Stare|seeing you]]...from a long distance; as long as the most perilous journey, as long as a dream where I'm constantly running towards you; you'd look like you're near, yet you are soo far away from completing me... [[Love quest|I Love You]], Megan Schroeder.

Peace; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan asks Chris to leave her alone again, attempts to talk sense into him===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 23 Mar 2008 1:05 am 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan

As I've said, the website means nothing to me. It's the fact that you blab about me on your blogs and therefore it gets put on the website. So in other words, ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.

I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.

So I think I'd like to stay away from you at least for a while then as time passes I'll better know what to do.

Until then just please leave me alone}}

===Megan still wants to be alone===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 23 Mar 2008 8:12 am 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Like I said, I just want some time on my own for a while. It's not like I am hating you or anything. I just want to be by myself for a while

And I haven't nor will I EVER forget all the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|wonderful surprises you have given me]] and such. Thank you.

This is only a "bye for now" just allow me to be alone and eventually things will cheer up ok?

Thanks and try to keep your chin up. And I'll try to do the same. (I'm never real positive...) 
~Megan 
PS I won't be coming this sunday- Easter}}

===Chris talks about his feelings, then some shit no one cares about===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Fri, 18 Apr 2008 9:36:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey...

I understand why you didn't want me to talk to you... <nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki> I'd feel better if we can try not to think about that detail and put it behind us.

Megan, I really want to remain your friend, but I feel it growing more difficult with the emotional feeling of long distance between you and me. I feel sad, lonely and rejected when you don't allow me to be socially close to you or even when you won't talk to me. (Besides which, I [[Mass_Debating|get lonely]] everynight in the sanctity of [[Chris's Room|my room]], and even when I'm out with my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], [[Bob Chandler|father]], or alone, so I feel the extra loneliness and sadness like rubbing salt and vinager on a wound.) Also, I can't help but feel the worry about how you are feeling everyday that I feel. Please, Megan, put what has passed behind you and open yourself emotionally to me and let you and me be good friends like before.

Also, aside from my feelings, I wanted to let you know that I got an 8GB Memory Stick Duo; all my Full Downloaded Games and all my Save Data (for the [[Wikipedia:Universal Media Disc|UMD]] games as well) and all that from between the two 4GB sticks are now on the same [[Wikipedia:Memory Stick|Memory Stick]]. What's more, I am able to give you one of my two for when you get your PSP, and copy your choice of PSOne classics and the game Beats, as well as a cornucopia of [[Sailor Moon]] MP3 tracks to play on Beats. When ready, you may check out http://store.playstation.com to look up the variety of PSOne and PSN-Exclusive PSP titles that can be downloaded to the 4GB Memory Stick.

I think you still owe me a bit for the Zune; $20, Hamtaro toys and a DVD set. If you are able to get all that to me next Friday, I would appreciate it, so you and I can be squared-away on that deal.

BTW, I won't be coming in Sundays for UFS; I've been going to the [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] (after being [[List of places that have banned Chris|kicked out]] of the [[Grace Baptist Church]], and upon my father's suggestion) for over a month now. And with that, I've also been attending the Sunday Night service for the young adult church members who are attending [[UVA]]. Also, I've started hanging out in the Recreation Room in the upper floor of the next-door Student Centere Tuesday and Thursday Afternoons playing [[Guitar Hero]] on their [[PS2]], or my [[PS3]] which I bring there in a Toys 'R' Us Cloth Bag. I've met a few new female acquaintances, but nothing has come up [[Friend zone|further than that]] yet.

One more thing, something good for you to look forward to, in addition to the German Dictionary I'm saving for your Birthday, I'm putting a special present together just for you to go with it. It's not glittery or pricy, but it is a Special Surprise Present. :) And I'm not letting you in on what it is until the Friday closest to your Birthday.

Anyhoo, please allow me back into your world as your Good Friend, and I promise never to [[The Wallflower|repeat]] the mistakes I've made.

I also wish [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] the best of luck and the Lord's blessing on him finding a new, better job.

Peace be with you; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan can't trust Chris anymore===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:40 am 
Subject: Re: Hey...

Well first of all, I can't put this behind me because I don't feel comfortable around you anymore. Especially since you said you drew that so you wouldn't do anything stupid. What does that mean? [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|Abducting me and raping me?]] I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore...

I'm sorry but I don't like being around men like that.

As for the zune, you said for me to hold on to the hamtaro and dvd's and I only recall having to pay you the 30$ for your credit card.

So I don't know what to say right now, but maybe you shouldn't give me anything for my birthday. I hate my birthdays and prefer not to be reminded of them}}

==Gallery==
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</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2012-07-13T04:36:01Z

Axe: /* Gallery */

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] between November [[2005]] and June [[2006]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Megan wants a ''Tintin'' episode===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 3:14 am 
Subject: quick!

Hey quick! Please go to ebay and type [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|Tintin videos]]

There's a buy it now near the bottom. The episode is [[Wikipedia:Cigars of the Pharaoh|Cigars of the Pharoahs]]. it's $9.99 and shipping is 5.75

Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!}}

===Megan talks about meeting Chris on the park===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 8 November 2005 
Subject: Yes [[Wikipedia: Klonoa|Klonoa]]!

I don't mind being called Meg, it's short 'n simple!

Luckily when I bought my USED copy of Klonoa it came with everything, but I just got some new printer ink, so I can go ahead and scan in the front and back for you!

How do you like the game? Beautiful isn't it? Now you see why I'm desperate to find the soundtrack!

Oh I think I have an extra jewel case to use too! So I'll work on that!

We'll discuss plans about sunday on friday. 
No offense but I never give my number out. It's certainly nothing directed at you but I just don't enjoy talking on the phone either. Besides we live like right down the street from the park so it's like 2 min away on bike!!

As for resteraunt ''[sic]'' thanks but no thank you, we'd have already eaten by then. I eat lunch early. But thank you very much for such a nice invite, I'm sorry to have to decline.

Thanks for going to bring the sleeves, I'll bring all my cards to see what I'll need.

Well let's hope the weather's fine on sunday,eh? 
See you on friday!! 
Megan}}

===Chris wants to date Megan at McDonald's===
{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Dec 2005 8:12:18 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hi Hi, Meg.

I've just talked to [[Bob Chandler|my father]] about him coming one Friday. Currently, he's a bit under the weather. But if he feels better by this coming Friday, he'd like for us to get together at the [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] closest to the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game & Hobby place]] after the League-Play. I'll let you know for sure Friday.

Thank you for the drawings you gave me. For your island's name, I feel that, "[[Parody|Parodyse]] Island," is a slightly better name.

Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]]. So, I'll be working more often on them; I hope you're still working on your Strawberry Pink story, because it fascinates me. ;8)

I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay Sweet;

Chris Chan.}}

===Don't kiss me, bro===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005
Subject: happy holidays

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with [[Sailor Moon Poster|Chibiusa]].

I love the first season of the [[anime]]. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. but of course the [[america]]n version re-did all the [[music]]...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance on kissing me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being independant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just ag irl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a Merry [[Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan 
ps no one in my family is [[autistic]]. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!}}

===Megan puts Chris in the [[friend zone]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 13 March 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Well that's easy, YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON! It's nice to have a good friend who can put up with me! ;) 
I'm looking forward to these photos. I'll do my best to explain them to you.

Anyway, well I see you as a really superb, kind and thoughtful understanding playful friend! Sorry to dissapoint ''[sic]'' you on love topics but I enjoy being an independant ''[sic]'' person. When your ''[sic]'' single you can have many guy friends. When you're not, boyfriends get suspicious about your other friends.

Thanks for understanding about the game. Hey, it's one less debt I gotta worry about!!! :))

I'll see ya later! 
~Megan}}

===Megan writes the longest Urgent Message in history===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 22 April 2006 
Subject: please forgive me...:(

''[Part of the mail is missing]''

third which is probably the worst case yet- 
I have kept this secret until John's birthday. I have been saving money to buy both John and I a [[Nintendo DS]] and a couple games. So I have a DS now. But PLEASE DON"T BE MAD...especially since I was fooling around with John's gamecube and saw some of the note...I didn't read all of it. Something like make sure I don't get a DS with Nintendogs? Were you planning to give one to me? I feel terrible. I [[Biological_clock|didn't get any sleep last night]] due to worrying about it.

I had a feeling you would have already spent your [[money]] on one for me. If so please, you may return it. I don't want to seem ungrateful but they are expensive and I just can't accept such a pricey gift from you. But if you can't return it or get any cash or credit from trade-in, well what can I say? I just don't know what to say. I feel rotten but I hope I'm not to blame. I didn't know. We BOTH didn't know. I hope you understand and I hope you are not [[angry]]. 
I am flattered and amazed you would go through such trouble, thank you friend! :)

Is there any way I can make it up? I'm [[Remorse|VERY DEEPLY SORRY]] Christian. PLEASE understand it. I hope I'm not at fault. I should have told you I got one a few days ago. I hope it isn't too late. But I thought it was right of me to tell the truth. I hate not being [[honest]]. I'm like a military dog- loyal to the end.

Well my DS is blue. I have Chihuahua game and Yoshi Touch n' Go 
For my brother he will get a silver DS with Lab game and Mario Kart, but my mom and aunt have helped me aquire ''[sic]'' them. 
Yoshi game is lovely and relaxing. A good bedtime game! ;) 
I like your yoshi game too. 
Hey I was wondering since we get ripped off at gamestores why not trade games with each other? 
I may have a few games I lost interest too. A couple from the Crash Bandicoot series and maybe some gameboy games. John has a couple [[Star Wars]] games for the gamecube he doesn't want. 
Do you have anything you don't play anymore? And hey maybe after a while we could always trade back if we miss our old games. I'm glad you liked my spoiled Shadow2 chao! He's a good boy!

Well I better send this email I hope you get it in time. And once again I'm very sorry. I don't feel like I'm a good friend but I'm being honest. I hope our friendship remains.

Thank you}}

===Megan has a thing for German soldiers===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 1 May 2006 
Subject: Re: Hi

Thanks, those photos will really mean a lot to me. I hope you can win them. Yes I found the games. They were in John's bag. As for July, I may be going out of state for a week or so. We usually do. Not yet sure though.

Well I got stuff to do as well so see you in a while. (Won't be coming this friday.)

Oh the reason I love German photos is cause they are stereotyped soldiers. None of the soldiers in those photos were actual Nazi soldiers. And it offends me when people say "Oh Germans are all a bunch of Nazis" Gee thanks I'm German too. 
Plus they are private and personal photos and I think they are all special. You wonder if any of them are alive still. 
Please do your best to win them. If you can win them I'll stay away from [[ebay]] for 2-3 months if you'd like. 
Keep this between you and me but I find many of those soldiers unbearably handsome. They have really fair pretty faces. *Ahem* ANYway you didn't hear that from me!

talk to you later 
~Megan}}

===Megan likes friendship but dislikes touchy/feely situations===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 3 May 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Ok first of all THANK YOU for getting that lot! Please show that loser what your ''[sic]'' made of on the other 3!! Thank you! I hope steady payments will be ok? Did you inform the dealer that you may win others? So he can combine shipping?

Second of all the term I used "I'm not the one for you" Has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. That term refers to ME. And the reason for being is because I have no desire nor do I care to have a boyfriend, period. Even if he were the most gorgeous soldier on the planet. I just don't care. And perhaps I was meant to not like "love". Actually I have more enjoyment when I'm by myself. I don't ever feel lonely. So the term means, I wouldn't be good in a relationship because I'm not one to frantically dial the phone hoping for date. I'm a loner kind of person and that's the way I was born. I'm sorry again you feel that way. But you know me, I gotta be 100% [[honest]].

So in other words: you're NOT a loser, I'm not saying I don't like you. I just don't care for guys in that kind of relationship matter. But that doesn't mean I don't care period. I care because we are friends. And I prefer to have guys only as friends because they are good companions and comrades. I never cared about having a boyfriend, I doubt I will.

I like being the way I am, and I don't want to be like the others. Yeah that's a good way to say it. I want to be as different from people as I can. I hear girls saying how they wanna get married/have kids and stuff like that, but not me! I wanna be free from marriage and have my own life with myself. I absolutely LOVE being by myself for some reason, but again that doesn't mean I hate being around you or other friends, ok?

So I hope you understand that now. And maybe you know now why I don't like touchy/feely situations. BUT I ENJOY BEING FRIENDS!!

In conclusion, having a any kind of boyfriend is just not in my system. My goofy cousins just don't understand why I'm not married or dating. They're both married but I think deep down they admire me for being that adament ''[sic]'' about it. Somehow I get the same feeling from you? You admire my rougeness and toughness?

Well I hope you feel better after you read this. But hey, isn't it better to tell you now BEFORE anything has happened? Unlike that [[Hanna|*excuse me* Bitch]] you drew in your [[Scrapbook_of_Fail|book]] who was pranking you? Girls like that deserve my wrath!

I'll talk to you later 
I hope you feel better 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants her number===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sun, 7 May 2006 2:03:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Meg-Chan.

Hey, no worries about the park meeting yesterday; I enjoyed watching the [[duck]]s and the fish. I've also talked to some of the ducks... have I done my [[Donald Duck impersonation|"Donald Duck" imitation]] for you? [[Pedofork|And the children that passed by were fun to watch as well.]] I'd love to ride the train with you. :)

I plan on working on my room as well this week.

I'll jump in on the 87-photo lot tonight at about 7:45...wait till the last minute... and punch in my max. bid. I'll let you know about the monetary total after winning the photos for you. ;)

That's funny you've bought [[Wikipedia:Super Princess Peach|Super Princess Peach]]; so did I, and I am enjoying it as well. I'll send you a list of the games of your selected systems in my next E-Mail in a MSExcel file. I'll bold the ones I'd be willing to trade/give to you; you can print it for yourself and highlight the one's you'd like (I've misplaced the list with your underlines... I'm sorry).

Megan, I'd feel much better if I could converse with you about these situations vocally (than written), because I feel a bit of tension from waiting a day or two for your reply. And I feel that our points would come across between us more effectively. I understand that you don't like to "waste time on the phone," but how often do you receive calls at your house or cell from anyone other than telemarketers? So, could I get your phone number, please?

I know that I've given you mine a few times, so you have that.

Love, with you always in my mind and heart;

Chris Chan.}}

===Megan tells Chris to [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_March_27th,_2009|BACK THE FUCK OFF!]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 22 May 2006 
Subject: Hey

Hey! Ok, maybe I should get this off my chest first-

Well I like us being [[Gal_pal|friends]] but please understand that I wish for no [[Sweetheart|deeper relationship]]. I just don't care or have that desire for a boyfriend no matter who he is ok? 
And to be honest I felt awkward on how you all of sudden said you wanted to come to my house. Lemme just say this- You should think of me as [[Knuckles]]! I'm the kind of person who although is a loyal friend- I can only take so much friendly meetings. You know how Knuckles will hang around a bit but then take off once again. I'm like that. Hanging out on fridays is really the most I can do. I know that probably doesn't seem fair to you but you are a different person with your own [[autism|different needs]]. I'm my own person with my own different needs- or should I say unwanted needs! ;) So please could we put off park meetings for a while? Pretty please with a Yoshi Berry on top! :D And also please give me a little more space at the [[The_GAMe_PLACe|store]]. I don't always like having a second shadow while looking at stuff. DO NOT take this as an insult- you have no idea how many times I have to bark at John sometimes!! 
So from now on I'd like a little time alone looking at models that will never come in and then I'll come to the middle and [[Card_games|play]]! I love playing now since I made a new refreshing deck! Speaking of decks, Print out that email you sent me about your [[Yugioh]] deck cause John has more knowledge about it then ''[sic]'' me. John helped me with all my yugioh stuff!

Ok, moving from that "depressing" subject! I think I see the [[music]] problem! When you download, are all the bands separated by genre? If so then Stryper and Holy Soldier are more then ''[sic]'' likely located in the Christian section. (no pun intended-as I rudely burst out laughing! forgive me!) 
Yes Stryper is a "[[Chris_and_religion|religious]]" band but I don't think they are extreme. You know how they say people change depending on the music they hear. Sure that's probably true for all the hoods that listen to that [[Chop_Chop_Master_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|stupid loud violent rap]]. But I've had Stryper for several years and it hadn't turned me into a nun! 
As for Holy Soldier, they were probably put there just because of their name. I don't think their music is as Christ-ly as Stryper. Holy Soldier is however positive and anti-negative. For example one song explains "[[6_June_2010|drink and drive is suicide]]." 
Either way I think you'll like them. Which of the songs I reccomended ''[sic]'' did you like the most or least?

I love your mario [[Video_games|game]]- so does John! But I love playing the mini games better then ''[sic]'' the real game! Not to brag but I've beaten some of your high scores!! My favorite games are: 
The game where you find either Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Yoshi's face. 
Matching the Wiggler pattern! I love Wigglers!!! They are soooo oogy-woogy! Plus that baby music they play emphasizes that!

''[Part of the mail is missing]''}}

===Megan comments on Chris's photos===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
Sent: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:18 am 
Subject: My tour through CWCville

Hi! I'm leaving tomorrow so I have time for one more email!

I'm typing this and looking at the pics of your stuff at the same time!

Let's see what I see....

pic#1: I notice the [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Octan Octan] signs right away. John had several sets from that. Wow this is neat, I never combined my sets like that. I only have a few small ones.

pic#2: First of all you have the same window air cooling unit I have. I see [[Ghostbusters|Houndhowl]] hanging down! No offence but [[Chris's room|your room]] looks a little cluttered and messy. Sometime I'll be like [[Wikipedia:Brock (Pokémon)|Brock]] the super maid and get that place organized!!

pic#3: Is that a japanese temple I see!? I've NEVER seen that before! OH!! You have an Egyptian set!! With my lego hero!! [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Thunder Johnny Thunder]!! I have a set with a sphinx.

pic#4: Neat [[Pokemon]] poster! Hey I see my german boys down below!! I wonder....did you do that on purpose so I'd notice? ;)

pic#5: your closeups are really professional. I wish my camera was that good, cause I'd give you pics of my anime collection!

pic#6: Interesting combo: [[No More Jokes|Spiderman]] and a [[Sonichu]] car...!

pic#7: Neat sign. Neat [[lego]] dude. I've always liked the heads with the shades.

pic#8: Nice [[America|patriotic]] scene you got going there. Like the flag too.

pic#9: Holy Wow it's CHRISTIAN!!

pic#10: Is that a plane? [[Chris and art|I can't really tell.]]

pic#11: [[Jerkops|Cool cops]]! Look it's your [[Nintendo|gamecube]]! Am I an animal? :D

pic#12: uuuh....wow. Sonichu and you. How did you make the heads?

pic#13: read above

pic#14: I'm guessing that's the mayor? [[Liquid Chris|Otherwise you've cloned yourself with different hair]]!

pic#15: blurry

pic#16: dark and scary

pic#17: A wee blurry. Who's the red one again?

pic#18: nice little cafe. Is that Johnny too I see?

pic#19: nevermind.....it's just a Johnny [[Ian Brandon Anderson|imposter]].

pic#20: I totally want those sharks! :D

pic#21: Can't make out the sign

pic#22: The infamous [[birthday]] hospital!!

pic#23: Who's the wierdo with blue arms?!

pic#24: AAAH There he is again!!

pic#25: I don't know these people. Fill me in

pic#26: What's going on?

pic#27: Wahahahaha!! Either Crazy Hand or Master Hand came to visit!!

pic#28: That's a dudey-dude!

pic#29: You ever dust them off? hahaha

pic#30: *coughcough*

pic#31: Nice truck *please dust me, please dust me!*

pic#32: He looks scary and mean

pic#33: The almighty......something

pic#34: Whoa! It's [[Homos|Prince Fagalot]], Batman, and the [[Bunny Hop|Easter Bunny]]! NO WAIT!!! It's Liberty Bell, Mange, and Harmony Bunny!!

pic#35: Post Office

pic#36: Please.....please dust that poor horsey

pic#37: Why is there a witch in the middle of a fuel station! Looks like someone died too.

pic#38: A Red Cross office?

pic#39: What's this little place?

pic#40: Hoooooly Craaaaap......[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Obi Wan, Luke, and Qui-gon]] are at the freakin bank!!

pic#41: Is this a night scene? Nice special effects

pic#42: Hey I see some of the stuff I gave you! Omigod! I can't BELIEVE you have that Mewtwo picture still!! hehehe can't wait til my birthday! Just a little request. can you please wrap the pieces in toilet paper so the paint won't scuff up the other parts? know what I mean? Anyway that was a nice conclusion of my tour through your city!! Thank you! JUST KIDDING!!! I already have my own plush of him!

picture of you, sonichu and [[rosechu]].: Wow this part of your room looks clean!! Oh wait it's a hotel room. wahahaha!

I've got the full poop on that lego car!

[[Transformers]]! More than meets the eye! Tranformers! Megan-likes-[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|gundam]]-better-then-you-so goodbye!

Thanks for the pictures! I'll put them on my computer and use this cd to burn the tracks I have for you I meant to do a while ago. The English song and German song and others.

I'll talk to you when I have come back from my trip! Thanks again! Bye ~Megan}}

===Megan tells Chris to stop acting like a [[rape|molester]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 10 June 2006 
Subject: Hey, I'm back

Yep, but we had to come back earlier cause the rain won't let up. So we may go back later in the summer. Oh and to start off I did NOT go to any [[Navy]] base. I was only being sarcastic towards Fredric-- (don't know how to spell that)

Thanks for all your [[emails]] though! Oh I came home yesterday afternoon. There wasn't much to say about it since it rained.

Anyway well! I'm glad there is a new possible [[Gal_pal|friend]] for you!! So let me begin by saying this however I mean no harm towards your feelings. It's flattering how said your heart would remain strong to me but I really wish it didn't. And here is why: I've told you many times I don't want a serious relationship with you or any other guy for that matter. And so you really need to "give up" on me cause it'll only make you miserable. The fact that a fan has showed up may be a sign. Y'see instead of spending all your energy looking for a [[girlfriend]], you should lay back, take it easy and open up. Then I think someone will show. You should try not to act so desperate. The way to "spell it out" and advertise yourself- passing girls may think it's strange behavior. Of course I understand your situation, but other people don't and they may think- please don't get upset- that you are some kind of lech or molester. I know your ''[sic]'' not, but you see where I'm coming from? 
So, please do not waste more thoughts on me, of course we are friends but [[Friend_zone|friends only]]. Please "detatch" ''[sic]'' yourself from me and see if anything happens between you and this girl and maybe her friends ok? My wish for you is to find your own someone for yourself. Me? I'm just a "heartbreaker"! 
But just to answer your weird question, I would prefer clean shaven men but don't get any ideas that, THAT would win me! ;) 
I don't mean to sound harsh but I am grateful that we are friends. If it wasn't for you, I may have never seen StarS and my collection would be the same dolls and few figurines. I must say I am entirely grateful that you have trusted me finacially ''[sic]'' on [[ebay]]! I'll try my best to pay the remaining payments as quickly as possible. Thanks for your trust and patience.

I was wondering, I stay off [[ebay]] for a while but if there is a little plush I want from Pokemoncenter can we order it? I'll look later to see if there is anything.

Well John wants me for something so I'll get back to you later!

See ya! 
~Megan}}

===Pinned against the wall===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 25 June 2006
Subject: an "angry" Megan?

Yeah, although I'm not angry at you, I'm a little dissapointed at your behavior. I'm really sorry this may sound harsh but it's the 100% truth about how I feel ok?

I know you know I "hate" guys and I hate love, cause I told you a million times ^^;!!

So why do you keep getting too close and touching me? I REALLY don't like it at all. I know you said cause you have feelings for me and it's hard for you. But (I'm sorry, this sounds mean) you really need to try and get over it. If you keep hanging on like that to someone who doesn't love you back.......well it'll only make you more miserable. You need to just accept the fact that I don't and will probably never love you so you should just take [[Stress sigh|a rejuvenating breath]] and move on.

Here's a secret, ONCE I actually "liked" someone and I spent a lot of unnesessary energy and time thinking about this person and trying to spend time with this person. But when I finally admitted to liking this guy, I was bluntly refused. I wasn't his "type". And he didn't even tell me that, I had to ask his friend! So when a guy doesn't like me, THAT'S IT!! I don't "like" them anymore! If I'm not his type to be close to, then I'm not his type to be friends with, an what do you know! The same person things I'm a freaky nazi thing! But don't EVER EVER EVVVVVVVER repeat that to me or anyone else ok? Although I was somewhat hurt I've soon gotten over it, you know I don't even think I really liked this guy in the first place! It's like....I was experimenting? Oh well he's not worth my time. >-<

So it was a fake love? Sometimes I don't understand myself. My mind and heart say two different things. But throughout my life I've trained myself to ignore feelings for a guy. I don't WANT a boyfriend and I won't give in! I won't allow it!! Of all the hair bands I love anti-love songs. Example: did you download Queensryche's I Don't Believe In Love? 
I don't. To be honest, I don't care for love. period.

Now I sound like [[Mary Lee Walsh|that lady villian you have]], but oh well, that's the real me. Also this is a secret I've hidden away for a long time cause everyone would think I really was a freak.

I only love animals. I love recieving affections from them and I love being with them. In other words, I love [[My Little Pony|animals]] more than [[Chris|humans]]. I absolutely HATE how people treat them and are cruel to them. Afterall animals were here on this planet first. And now look what we've done. We destroy their homes and destroy them. Animals that are endangered are all because of stupid humans. Their disgusting greed of taking their own fur!! It makes me SICK!!

Now you know the real me, but how do you like me now? When it comes to relationships, I'm a "dangerous" person. It seems I only [[Heart level|break hearts]]. So for your own sake, please try to get rid of the lovey feelings for me and we can [[Just Friends|just be friends]]. So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall. Please give me more space.

Now that I've finally gotten THAT off my chest let's move on to more [[Fuzzy-wuzzies|happier thoughts]].
600??!! No way! I only have around 80! Even though they started in the 80's I don't think 600 were ever made! But I could be wrong. I only collect the newer ones that came out in the [[2000]]'s.

Sheesh, where do you keep your [[Transformers|transformers]]? Maybe you should hang some in the ceiling like there battling! Yeah I seem more like a Gemini. I have [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], there's the girly-my-little-pony-shoujo-anime-lover-plushie side of me then there's the cold-war-monger-gi joe-german soldier-militaria side of me.

Yes I've heard that opposites attract, but also....doesn't a negative and a positive make a negative?

Oh yeah, before I decide to write a letter, why does [[Bob|your father]] doubt my residing in Staunton in the first place and why would he care anyway? I feel wierd about the whole thing in any case. Cause I mean, when you look at it, where I live has nothing to do with him and OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED!!!! We no longer get mail at our house due to past events I wish not to explain. Our P.O Box is in Fishersville. So whether or not I write a letter, it wouldn't satisfy him! jeeeeez....

Well I'm hungry now so I'll leave it at that
If your feelings are hurt, I'm really sorry, but perhaps you take that opportunity to [[Masturbate|release your feelings for me]] and start a-new.}}

===Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 15 July 2006
Subject: yeah

Jeez....what kinda question is that? I honestly have NO idea!! You can't change your looks unless it's plastic surgery or something. I'm not the one you need to ask. I really don't know what you should do, you should sit down and try to think it out for yourself.

Also I'm just a little mad that I have to keep telling you to PLEASE stop touching me! It's like you're not wanting to listen to me! I tell you, then you say ok, but eventually you're back to the same tricks, and this time I really MEAN IT!! Even my other friends don't like it and think it's weird. So once and for all could you PLEASE STOP? You KNOW I don't like it so why do you keep doing it? It's not like you're gonna try and soften me or something.

So, I don't wanna have to tell you again or I might get really angry. Cause you know unwanted remarks, or advances to a girl is Sexual Harassment and I don't take that lightly. Ok? So can you understand now?

Anyway sometimes I get the feeling that you copy me to get me to like you. Like Sailormoon for example. The only Sailormoon thing you had was that adult video and since I told you how much I love it then you start getting into it. Kinda like My Little Pony. That kind of thing really annoys me. If you ever see any Sailormoon game for DS, please let me buy that first. Remember the first ebay purchase was that Sailormoon Super Best CD? It really hurt me when I found out you went ahead and listened to it!! If I ever purchase a game or cd from ebay in the future....please....let me listen or play it first. It hurts my feelings when I'm buying something and you go ahead and beat it first or something. Even though you are buying it....still I'm paying you back for it when you jump right in on it, it hurts me and ruins the whole fun for me. It's like, "what's the point since you already beaten it?"

Going back to "are you copying me" I don't like it much when people get into something RIGHT AFTER they find out I liked it first. When you said we had a lot in common like Sailormoon and My Little Pony, well who Loved Sailormoon first? Who collected My Little Pony first? Ok, I know I sound like a spoiled brat but can you see what I'm trying to say? 
I don't like being too in common with others, I try to be different from others as possible. I personally don't like Pretty Cure that much. Mostly the reason is cause YOU liked it first. And out of respect I decide not to get into it cause to me, Pretty Cure is YOUR thing like Sailormoon and My Little Pony should be MY thing, you know? 
I even remind myself to not tell of my other series I love cause I'm afraid the next day, you'll have everything there is to get from that. So if I ever order something that's something you don't really know about, then just "hand it over casually" like you didn't even see it.

So I just wanted to make these points clear and usually sounding mean like that is the only way for me to get them across. ''[Some of the email is missing here]''

Ok, first of all, I don't remember saying I DID choose him over you, if you have the email saying I did, send it please......I can't ever remember a conversation. >-<;

Second of all.....brace yourself, this may sound blunt and harsh. But shouldn't it be MY decision? When you sent the email saying you were gonna send a freak-out message saying "just how friendly were you" You make it sound like I have to get your approval to be that kind of "friendly" to someone. And I felt rather disappointed about those remarks. Besides he was really the FIRST guy to ever pay any notice to me. Not that I was trying to find attention, he just came up to me.

Also I secretly DID give you a chance, I always secretly "test" someone I'm making friends with. Just making someone happy isn't the ONLY thing I test, but my vibes and body chemicals whatever-you-call-em just don't feel anything around you. You know? It's also about the vibes and chemistry. Even though someone can just be a bestest nicest always do things for you kind of person, you don't always actually love them, and that's how I feel about you or rather don't feel about you. 
And you already KNOW I don't love you so why make yourself unhappy by holding grudges and trying so hard to win me over? So please if you really want to make me happy....please....let me make my own decisions and figure out my own life ok? 
Besides even IF I had a boyfriend, what makes you think I'll stop being friends with you? I'm not that kind of person who'd say... "well, I have a boyfriend now so see ya!" No, I'm not that kind of bitchy girl.

Also you don't even KNOW this guy so why do you say he can take care of himself? Afterall YOU'RE not the one who may have to answer the call of duty and head off to war. And I think he would need MORE emotional support. You're just losing love......he could lose his life. His death wouldn't be in vain but it's still a fallen soldier.

So there you go. I'm sorry you feel all depressed but that's just how it is. Stop saying ALL the girls are paired up, you can't prove that and those girls CHOSE to be with who they're with. 
So no matter what happens I'm not gonna drop all contact with you ok?

Now as promised here is my list of ponies! I love them all! 
ponies! ponies! ponies!}}

===Megan calls Chris out===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 7 Aug 2006
Subject: hey

Ok thanks.

You know I haven't talked to this person in a year. I'm not really wanting to get together with him either. Boyfriends aren't for me. Don't want em, don't need em.
However I can't say I like how you call him a lucky "jerk"
Why is he a jerk? Why do you call ALL guys that?
Because they "Take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from?"
Hate to be blunt but that's a pathetic way to think!
You don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend! The thing is, the guys didn't take all the girls.....the girls just didn't choose you. Quit blaming other men! Girls chose who their boyfriend was too!
You should know, that girl Soshii loves has a boyfriend. But does he hate Night or other guys?

Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend doesn't give you the right to HATE ALL MEN!! It's not THEIR fault! The world doesn't revolve around you. And keeping this grudge will really get you nowhere.

Personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like. All you say is you want a "pretty girl". Well it's the INSIDE that counts! Afterall, a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan, meanwhile an "ugly" girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you?

I often wonder:
If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?

Which also makes me bring up something else. During the tag team, you yelled how you didn't want to pair up with a beginner! Did it even occur to you how many little kids' feelings you just shattered?
And so if I was a beginner, would you say that to me as well? Or would you just pair up anyway cause I happen to be a GIRL?
Your insults and hatred towards other guys can offend me cause it offends my brother!

Well sorry all that sounds mean, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
I remember seeing a letter posted by you in [[Shoujo Beat]]. Then a couple issues later there was a reply to that. Did you see that? Well that girl is absolutely right!!

Ugh...hungry}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:20051220-Meg-Hglght.png
Image:Megan 06-04-22.PNG
Image:Megan 06-06-25-2.PNG
Image:Megan 06-05-01.PNG
Image:Megan 06-08-07.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Katie Bay E-mails

2012-07-13T04:35:46Z

Axe: /* Friday 24 */

For a short period in [[July 2009]], [[Chris]], pretending to be [[Samantha Thaddeus]], tried to work his magic on her friend Katie Bay. For a couple of days, they were honest friends until Chris forgot about her.

==Emails==
===Saturday 18 July 2009===
{{EmailReply|I forgot, which of Chrissy's accounts do you have again? I had IT and the password on paper, and I fuckin' lost it. I swear girl, if my head was not screwed on so well, I'd lose it at my [[Fashion Square|mall]] or somewhere.

Love ya,

Sam}}

===Sunday 19===
{{Email|Oh, I have like these two blank ones, this Chinese one, this English one or something, I believe [[Jack]] has the others.

why you ask?

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|Like I said, I had ALL the accounts hand-written, sign-on IDs, passwords and all, on paper for my reference to make sure we can milk this [[Troll]] Gig on Chris for as long as possible. I had it by my computer, but then the next minute it was gone. Then later on, I found shredded scraps by my [[Patti|dog]]'s dish. :( Bad dog. So I gotta get the info back the hard way.

I really appreciate the help, Kate. :)

Love ya,

Sam}}

{{Email|I'll give them to ya when we meet up tonight for Mike's party. Dontcha worry bout it, k sam? I got it all here on this sticky note.

-kate}}

{{Email|Yo Sam, you weren't at the party and your cell ain't working. I just left cuz you weren't there.

Is anything going on? You haven't replied...

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|Sorry, Kate. My daddy wanted me to stay at home tonight. I had a LOONG day anyway. Maurice called me up; after a number of calls, I picked up and told him to fuck off and leave me alone. I can not believe I slept with that dumbass.

Go ahead and e-mail me the info on your note; I'll hand-write it myself then.

Love ya,

Sam}}

{{Email|Huh? You still listen to your dad? But he's all the way in Ohio!

- kate}}

{{EmailReply|Yeah, I know. But he's still my dada, and I still care about him a bit.

Sam}}

{{Email|awwwww, what made you have such a change of heart?

Well, since I couldn't contact you all day (you lost your cell again didn't you lol) I decided to take a trip to the mall to do some shopping. You shoulda been there, there was this awesome sale at Bath and Body Works.

omg, but there was this creep at the mall though. He kept trying to hit on me but I just told him off. God, who does that? He was kinda cute tho, I'll give him that.

Mike's party was no fun without you. I didn't know anyone at that party except for you but you didn't show. D:

So, how was your day?

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|He's always been there for me in my early years, and the sap still cares about me.

My day was okay. I had heard Chris bombed out on daddy's challenge. I'll bet he could not get a woman to even approach him to save his own pathetic life. OMG When I had accessed his chinese account, I had noticed he spent 600 worthless yen on [[Wikipedia:UmJammer Lammy|Um Jammer Lammy]]. I looked it up; even Imported, it still has the English Audio; what a dumbass.

Still, the game looked fun from the screenshots, and I liked Lammy's outfit; so cute. But damn me losing my paper with all the passwords to Chrissy's accounts. Went with my cell and got fucking lost. I swear if my head was not so well-attached, I'd probably lose that too.

I am sorry I missed the party; I can feel for you, I would not feel like it was fun without you either.

I'll check ya later. 
Love ya, 
Sam}}

{{Email|Yeah that Chris sure is a dumbass lol.

Anyway, you seem pretty off today, anything the matter?

Your day was just "okay"? Man, you must have done some crazy stuff. Tell me about it!

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|Yeah, I did do one thing today. I had a couple of [[alcohol|drinks]], then I watched this show where this guy dumps his gal, then she tied dumbells on her feet, stood on her head and thrusted her legs up and down. I used 4 [[alcohol#In the comic|beer]] bottles, then I toppled over forwards and nearly poked an eye out with one of the bottles' mouth. That would have been great oral for my vision like my last guy did with my ass. :D I hurt a bit still, but at least I'm not dead yet.}}

{{Email|Oh oh! I forgot to ask you the other day!

Like when we watched the entire [[BILLY MAYS|Pitchmen]] marathon on Discovery, which invention is your favorite? I need to know because Jane said she thought Impact Gel was the best and she's totally wrong, right?

man, did you watch the billy mays tribute? holy shit sully made me cry so hard.

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|Impact Gel? LOL, soo dumb. I loved the Breathing Artificial Plants; it's like bringing real life to the Art and Fake.

Daddy just sent me the password for Chrissy's Japan (not China), ChrisLikesGiantBlackCocks; did not work for me. Did you change it?}}

{{Email|wtf breathing artificial plants? That was never on the show lol.

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|That's wierd, I could swear I saw that in the marathon. It may have been in a past episode; my memory comes and goes, you know. LOL}}

{{Email|well whatever, the Impact Gel guy was an asshole. I liked the Dual Saw guy though, he was so hot.

omg, the chinese guy we met at the mall a week ago finally just messaged me back. I think I might want to go out with him.

do you think he's hot? seriously let me know.

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|oh, yes. I remember him. Hmm...

[[Homos|Yeah, he's soo hawt]]; do it, girl. What's the password for that boy's Japan?}}

{{Email|yeah yeah, I'll get that right after I call him. Oh man, I hope it isn't too late. Well, it's only 11:20, he sure is a pussy if he sleeps in early! Heh, I'm sounding like you...

Wish me luck!

-kate}}

{{Email|THAT MOTHER FUCKER CHRIS

GRRRR

I'm so angry, I fucked up that call. God damn it!

Okay, I call him right? And it just seems to go along fine right? He says something stupid and then he's like:

"Whoops, it was like I had [[autism]] or [[aspergers]] or something!"

And I couldn't stop laughing right? I kept thinking about Chris and shit and oh my god, I can't believe he somehow went into my head during this call. God damn it!

I'm killing myself over this Sam. God damn...it... ugh, he thinks i'm an asshole or something

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|Shoot. Oh well, you'll do better on the next guy. I'd say go cross-country and surprise Chrissy, but that pussy would not know the opportunity if she knocked Louder than [[BILLY MAYS|Billy Mays]]. LOL

I laughed a bit at that bad dub, but I don't like that he had thwarted dad's plans. He had planned to blackmail him into admitting Autism and something else. Now he plans to get him to dance to [[Wikipedia:Avril Lavigne|Avril LaVeign]]'s ¨[[CWC "Boyfriend"|Girlfriend]].¨LOL.}}

{{Email|DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT?

GRRRRR, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO SURPRISE CHRIS? WHAT ARE YOU ON?!

WHAT BAD DUB WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

YOU AREN'T HELPING TONIGHT SAM}}

{{EmailReply|I'm sorry, Kate. I'm feeling kinda [[ShutUpBrain and WakeUpBrain|sleepy]], and I think it caught up with my head.

I'll talk to you later.}}

===Monday 20===

{{Email|of course, you sure love dodging me when i have troubles huh}}

{{Email|well i feel better now. Eh, it wasn't really your fault. That stupid Chris guy. Whatever.

So, you feel like doing anything today Sam? I got nothin to do today.

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|I gotta do some grocery shopping, Plus I'm having a few [[Honest_Content|cramps]], so I'm not feeling up to anything wild tonight.

Also, I still would like the password to Chrissy's Japan stuff; please reply with it, as well as how your day's been.

Stay fun, Kate. Love ya,}}

{{Email|don't worry about the password stuff, I have it safe somewhere in my papers. My little bro has been messin' with stuff in my room.

I took him out to lunch and we went to this one place that we've never been to. I forgot the name of the place, but the entire place is run by Taiwanese people. Like, they have broken english and it's so funny. They had some great Kung Pao chicken.

I was gonna take him out to dinner too, but he's off at his friends house for a sleepover or something.

So I'm just here cooking some dinner. Man, I haven't made mashed potatoes in forever. 5 more minutes til the boiling is done.

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|Yum. :) I'll have to try that place. How did the pottoes come out; delicious as always.

I hope your bro had a good time; if he shares, you'll have to me the details.

I'm sure you'll come across the passwords soon enough. A few weeks ago, I had printed this awesome picture of Billly Mays, but I thought it got accidentally thrown away. I finally found it a couple of days ago. :) The sooner you find the it or remember it, the better.

I'll check in again later. ;)}}

===Tuesday 21===

{{Email|food was good, anyway

You wanna hang out today?

-kate}}

===Wednesday 22===

{{EmailReply|I'm sorry, Kate. I had a lot of chores around the pad yesterday, an I had not been able to get to my computer because of that. LOOONG day.

How was your day yesterday?

I'll check in again later.

Love ya, 
Sam}}

{{Email|ah, I picked up my little bro from the sleepover and he said it was cool.

Well, you wanna hang out today? Evening maybe?

I slept in today, i feel like so lazy lol but it's summer!

-kate}}

{{Email|well i figure you're still doing things around the house, but we can always do art tradeoffs again! YAY!

Okay, i'm starting off with Mew from [[Pokemon]]!

your turn!

-kate}}

===Thursday 23===

{{Email|sam...you there?}}

{{EmailReply|I am here, but I have to ask you, have you been in the full knowledge of the recent events with me, online, or were you an innocent bystander this whole time?}}

{{Email|what are you talking about?}}

===Friday 24===
[[File:ECP 00077.jpg|thumb|Photocopy... or [[Chris and camerawork|photo''graph'']]?]]

{{EmailReply|I will come clean then. I am really Christian; I have had control of this e-mail account since the 19th. In a confession of Sam posing as Jack Thadius (this whole time) that she e-mailed to me, Sam LET me me get into this e-mail account. It was like Sam gift-wrapped it and handed it to me for [[Christmas]].

Anyway, I wised up and tried to troll ¨Jack¨ back to get back my PSN accounts. I had learned more about her scheme in the IRC invite sent from ¨Jack¨. I know about her close associat at [[Sony]], her brother at NBC29,[[Charlottesville]], and the [[Chris and his ego|Hungry-For-CWC-Expose]] reporter at NBC29. As well as the rest of the dirt I hve learned on the side.

As Sam pulled the plug and showed me her hand, I felt it was required to come clean with you, Kate. I am sorry. What game that started to Just get back my Japan and Spain PSN accounts (don't care for the other three cuntries; Hong Kong, Germany and France, since I have NO PSOne classic ties with any of those three).

[[Vivian Gee]] took this news of Sam playing Jack wth shock, and sad, ¨She,s worse than [[Clyde Cash|Starscream]].¨

I did not want to risk losing Sam's friendship ties with you, Kate, so I showed compassion as I normally would and tried my best to continue her caring friendship with you. With you, Katie, I meant no harm. Again, I am soo sorry if I hurt you. I hope you and I can be friends after all this.

Please accept this drawing from my own hands; it's a photocopy of the Original drawing I framed and gave to my Cousin, Johnathan, and his bride, Britanney. You are the first individual, online, to get a .jpg of this, I promise. The only alternative to seeing it online is from within my --[[CWC Dare]]-- Video on [[Youtube]]. I will leave it up to you on what you wish to do with this .jpg; share it, mess it up or whatever, but I offer it to you first as an extension of goodwill and friendship.

I liked your mew drawing. :) It was really cute.

Take care and stay safe. 
Love and Peace, 
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{Email|I didn't know Sam did all this stuff. She told me about you and said that "he's some [[retard]] on the [[internet]]". I didn't know she did all this stuff.

I have a lot to think about.

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|I understand.

If you need a friendly ear, I'm available at my [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]]@aol.com address.}}

{{Email|I just want to know what Sam has been doing.

-kate}}

{{EmailReply|I'll forward to you some of her messages I've received, including her confession. I've saved the e-mails, and they are mostly old, so direct forwarding on some may be [[retcon|undoable]], but I will copy/paste the body, as well as the details for each message.}}

{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

White knight E-mails

2012-07-13T04:33:44Z

Axe: /* 29 April 2009 — We are watching */

These '''white knight emails''' are from people trying to help [[Chris]], whether they be [[white knight]]s, counter-[[trolls]] or even misguided souls who actually think Chris will listen to them. Chris's replies are in blue.

==November 2007 — ED alert==

{{quoteboxred|
'''I have a warning for you dude.''' from Samuel to Chris on Mon, 5 Nov 2007 7:28 am
----

Normally I don't care for what my peers at [[4chan]].org do. but I bring you some news the people over at /v/ (aka the video game board) are making fun of you and made the http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan site, which you already know, but I left them to it as I couldn't care less what they did but now they have hit a new low and one is planning of [[Blanca|pretending to be girl]] in hopes of getting you to send [[Nudes|nude pictures]] to them. As I said normally I dont care what Anon does but I find this sad and immature and so I feel I must give you a heads up on anonymous's plans to ridicule you on the interwebs..

also if you are going to quote any of this I'd much appreciate you hide my Identity (email address etc)}}

Chris ignored this and promptly emailed [[nudes]] regardless.

==June 2008 — Gaiafag==

{{quoteboxred|
'''Please Read This''' by Brittany to Chris on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:02 am
----

Dear Mr.Chandler,

Before I get to what I want to say in this e-mail, let it be known that this is NOT a hate e-mail, nor is it intended for the sole purpose of being mean to you. However, I will say that I am going to be blunt and tell you straightfoward what I want to say, which may in turn hurt you. It is up to you whether or not you would want to read this.

With that said, I want this e-mail to help you with some advice on [[Love Quest|your current "quest"]], as you put it, for love.

First off, it is not your fault you were born with [[Autism]]. I feel sympathy because it makes it all that more difficult to land you a girl. However, you must realize that not everyone will feel oh-so sympathetic or understand your troubles. The most saddening part of life is that not everyone will like you or the things you do, but you must move away from them and realize there are plenty of like-minded people like you.

Now, even though you have Autism, this doesn't mean that you are destined to live a horrible lonely life, but you should know that you can't use "autism" as an excuse for everything. Blaming a disorder for all the troubles in you life will not get you far. If you want others to look past your autism, you must do so as well. You must see yourself as you, regardless of what disorder you have.

I have plenty of friends with [[Asperger's]] and high-functioning autism. One of my close friends Alex has to deal with autism standing in his way of fitting in at school, yet he has a [[Chris and music|great talent of singing]]. He took that good thing about him and won [[SingStar Challenge|the talent show]], and gained friends. You should take the very best talent you have and expand it to the best of your ability.

Now on to your [[sweetheart|girlfriend]] troubles..

I think at this moment in your life, you goal shouldn't be just scoring with a chick, but making friends. If I'm correct, you have a [[MySpace]]. Try finding people in your area that share you like for [[video games]]. Be it a [[Jerks|guy]], don't ignore him. After all, he does have his friends, some of who may be [[Boyfriend-free girls|single girls]].

You also need to not set your expectations so high. I'm not saying you should go off and date the nearest [[obesity|obese]] [[Niggos|black]] lady. However, what you need most is dating experience. After having been through various relationships, you can get past that akward "approaching" phase with confidence. Think of meeting a girl as a friend, not as a [[Lovely Weather|future]] life partner.

Also, I do not mean to offend, but the whole [[sign]] thing has to go. If it hasn't worked for the past 8 or so years, it probably won't work now. To us females, it shows you as someone who lacks the confidence to go up to someone. Women want someone who can have the courage to break the ice and start a conversation. Maybe if you see a nice girl with a dog in the park, start with something simple like complimenting how cute/burly/adorable [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|her dog]] is. Then you can go on and start a conversation about [[Patti|your dog]] and what it looked like, etc... Any compliment about her can most likely be used as a convo starter, aside from pick-up lines and the plain creepy.

Another thing you may want to work on is...[[Chris and fashion|your wardrobe]]. I have to say that you I feel as if it's trapped in [[1980s|the 80's]]. Also, your [[Sonichu medallion]]..oh man, this really hurts to break it to you, but...it'd be best left at home. Sorry man, but it's like [[Christian Weston Chandler|one giant pussy deflector]]. That's all I can say about it, and I'm trying my best not to be harsh about it here.

You may want to revise your [[MySpace]] profiles and such a bit. When you talk about marrige [sic] and the like in your profile, it'd tend to ward off women, for they'll feel that if they even talk to you that they'd be all of a sudden committed. Talking about marrige [sic] should wait when you and her feel it's right.

I hope this will help you in your "girlfriend" quest. I know that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] will keep their article up about you, but if you move on and not bother talking about it or vandilize [sic] it, it'll soon be forgotten. Anonymous feeds off of you being upset over the article. Once you move on and forget about it, the sooner you can live a better life.

Please Reply Soon, Some Random Gaiafag}}

==September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist==

This is a white knight from /v/, according to [[Clyde]].

{{quoteboxred|
White knight to Chris
----

I know why you're failing at your quest.

If you plan on listening to me, I, a female, can teach you how to properly attract women.

This is not a joke or an attempt to troll you, I will offer honest advice about what girls want from a real girl's perspective.

If you're interested, email me back or something.}}

{{quotebox|
Chris to white knight
----

Okay, I'll loan you can ear; if you were teaching a "[[Date Ed]]" class (even though the idea sounds dated), AKA "Dating 101", in lengthy detail, and IN PERSON ONLY; NOT OVER THE INTERNET, in a step-by-step process, how would you well-advise the men in your class to ask a woman out on his [[Emily|FIRST DATE EVER]]?}}

{{quoteboxred|
White knight to Chris
----

I don't do classes. This is not a group thing. To tell you a bit about myself, I am highly interested in [[psychology]], and intend to be a therapist when I grow up. I enjoy listening to people's problems and offering advice on a private, personal level that cannot be achieved in large, public type classes. This means I will help you personally to attract women, not just offer generalized advice that won't help.

Let's not start with the first date--attracting a woman's attention happens long before that. First impressions are a very big deal, and happen at the first moment of contact, when you first lay eyes on each other, or first speak to each other, etc... After all, she has to say "yes" before the first date can even begin.

Before I offer you any advice on that subject, I need to know a few things about you besides what the online hate sites have to offer:

First off, I need to know how you've been previously trying to attract women, second of all, what type of woman you expect you will get (and include why you'd expect this type of woman to be attracted to you), and thirdly, as much as you know about women.

You can describe all of these things in as few or as many words as you like. I am a patient listener.

Dating is NOT a step-by-step process, and it is very wrong of you to think of it as such. Women are people after all, not machines programmed to act in certain ways when you do or say something. We are all unique--you could say something to one girl and it would make her smile, and that same thing could make another woman upset. All human beings are unique individuals with unique feelings based on their own, unique personalities. Despite this, I can still help, if you want me to, that is.}}

{{quotebox|
Chris to white knight
----
[[June 2010|AGES AGO]], I'd have a sign by my side stating, "I am a "X"-Year Old Male, Seeking an 18-"X"-Year Old Single Woman", sit, hope, pray and wait to be found by a Boyfriend-Free Woman who would be interested in me. Currently, I ONLY sit, hope, pray and wait to be found by that woman. SIMPLY PUT, I'd like an 18-29-Year Old Boyfriend-Free, [[China|Caring]], Smoke-Free, Non-Alcoholic, [[Chris and Race|white]] (Optionally [[Virginia is for Virgins|virgin]]) Woman to make into a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]. I AM AFRAID to make the First Move, because of the PROVEN [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|INFINTELY-HIGH BOYFRIEND-FACTOR]], [[Noviophobia|fear of Rejection]], Lack of Self-Confidence, and my Screwed-Up, Fucking Life-Long Autism Curse. I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC, except for the fact that [[Chris and his Ego|I am Handsome]], as my mother constantly reminds me, yet every time she tells me how handsome I am, I ask her, ''"Well, how come I don't have a Girlfriend?"'', and that I am a Frustrated, Lonely Virgin? After watching a life's worth of Variety of Television Shows and Romantic Comedies, Having A Bunch of Circles of [[Gal-Pals]] in my lifetime up to my crappy Adulthood, I think I have a [[Chris and Sex|WIDE knowledge]] of [[Women's Rights|Women in General]].

If I appear to be stressed from the typing of this message, well I am stressed from the Bastards of that slanderous Webpage at http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan POSTING "Fanart" that MOSTLY FEATURE WOMEN/my Rosechu Character with an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, [[Duck|DICK]]!!!!!!!

<nowiki>*sigh* Oh, my life.</nowiki>}}

{{quoteboxred|
White knight to Chris
----

Chris, I unfortunately have some bad news for you: romantic comedies don't tell you very much about real women, as much as reading about comic superheroes will tell a girl about what real life men are like. The women in those movies are just characters.

All women are individual people with individual likes and dislikes. Some girls like shopping, some find it to be boring like a chore. Some girls are in to video games and comics, some are not. Some girls like pink, others hate it. it depends on the individual person. You will never know what a girl will like or dislike before talking to her and getting to know her: most importantly, never, ever, ever assume that she will like something "because she is a girl". Most women find sexism appalling and highly unattractive.

The best way to get to know people is not to sit down and wait for someone to find you. There is no one out there searching for you in specific--no one searches for a specific person like that. To meet people, you have to make yourself active in social things. You could try joining clubs or classes, and be sure to talk to any girls you find attractive--but do not ever ask them out right at this point. Most girls feel more comfortable with a guy if they are friends first. Make it something you enjoy, so that way you will already have a common interest. Common interests are very important, they give you things to talk about besides yourself, so the conversation is less awkward. Most people in general don't like to open up to strangers, and find it awkward when strangers talk intimately about themselves with them. Instead, reveal bits and pieces of yourself after you have known each other for a short while.

Secondly, I'd like to add that while [[Barbara Chandler|your mother]] may find you attractive, not every woman will. In your pictures, you appear to be a bit overweight--when you look at girls, do you only look at women who are very slim? If so, I'd suggest looking at women who are closer to your own body type. Just because a woman is a bit chubby doesn't mean she is not a caring, nice person. Perhaps, also, you could look at women who are maybe a couple years older than you. Age doesn't mean much so long as there is great chemistry. I don't mean go look at really really old women--just don't limit yourself to only women who are younger than you, perhaps someone who is a couple years older.

However, even if a woman finds you handsome, that is never enough to start a relationship. There is no such thing as love at first sight. Your personalities have to click as well, or there is no chance at anything more than a one night stand.

Also, I have been listening to the audiobooks of some of your comics. Your [[Rosechu]] character's personality seems to be very stereotypical of what some men think women are like. For example, when she meets up with the Jigglypuff character (I forgot her name) all they do is talk about their boyfriends, and then you make a mean joke about how it does in to "girl talk time" and that will take forever. Most women would find this sexist and offensive.

This is because most women do not sit around and talk about how they have to look pretty for their boyfriends. Most women have their own goals and lives--their boyfriends are just another part of their lives. Also, when Sonichu had to keep Rosechu from spending too much money--that was also an offensive sexist joke, suggesting that women always spend too much money, which is just as bad as saying a [[Niggos|black person]] will always steal from you. it [sic] just isn't true.

One big tip I have to offer is that if you start to see women as friends first and a romantic sweetheart second, you will learn more about them, learn to talk better with them, and meet them. When you assume sexist things about women, it only distances yourself, because women do not want to be around guys who, rather than listening to what the woman has to say and caring about her opinion and thoughts, assumes stupid things based on stereotypes. For example, if you had a black friend, you wouldn't say "Hey, I'm going to the supermarket. I'll buy you some fried chicken because you're black." Instead you would say "Hey, I'm going to the supermarket, what did you want me to buy?" In the same way you should not assume a girl will like or dislike things because she is a girl.}}

{{quotebox|
Chris to white knight
----

Well, [name], while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "[[Bubbles Rosechu]]", "[[Angelica Rosechu]]", and recently introduced, "[[Lolisa Rosechu]]", of whom her Boyfriend, "[[Jamsta Sonichu]]", was the one who Interviewed [[Blanca]] and her [[Jiggliami]] on Radio Station, [[KCWC]]. Anyway, this is NOT about any of my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric-Hedgehogs]], so do not bring them up in this discussion about my search for a Potential [[Sweetheart]].

Also, Tell me something I DID NOT Already Know; I already knew everything you've stated in your message. Also, Those "[[Audiobooks]]" are NOT OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Product; the ONLY HONEST AND OFFICIAL Method of Reading the Sonichu Comics is page-by-page on my OFFICIAL AND ORIGINAL SONICHU & ROSECHU SITE at Sonichu.net.

One more thing, I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!

So, I recommend re-reading your previous message, and telling me something WAY DIFFERENT from what you've already typed that I've already known before you typed it.

I apologize again for typing this message through another stressful moment, but I do mean what I have said.

Peace,

Christian C.}}

{{quoteboxred|
White knight to Chris
----

Well, you do appear to be [[Obesity|overweight]]. I can tell by looking at your pictures--you seem to be in denial about this.

And I was only drawing from your comics because a person's stories can often reveal quite a bit about their own personalities. I was simply saying that you seem to be incredibly sexist. This is why you can't get a date. The way you portray your female characters in a story that is obviously very close to your heart is what reveals this sexist nature about yourself.}}

{{quotebox|
'''Another thing.''' from Chris to white knight
----

You didn't even take to consideration my LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM, my AUTISM, the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|infinitely-high BOYFRIEND-FACTOR]] my SHYNESS, the possible REJECTIONS, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera from my [[MySpace]] page, my [[Facebook]] page or my "About the Author" page on Sonichu.net.}}

{{quoteboxred|
White knight to Chris
----

That's because you can't jsut [sic] say "Hey, despite all these things you can get a girlfriend." Because that's a lie. In order to get a girlfriend, you need to change yourself--currently I can't think of a single woman who would date you. NOT because of your autism, not because of your low self esteem, and not because of having a boyfriend--I don't know a single woman who would date you because you are a sexist and because your personality sticks [sic].

The "boyfriend factor" you keep talking about is retarded. Just go meet single women, like, say, at a singles bar. How do you think all of those other boyfriends got their girlfriends?

And, your autism shouldn't limit you from dating entirely. There are plenty of autistic people who can still get date. You jsut [sic] have incredibly high standards, and you're extremely sexist. Plus you refuse to talk to women, is the main thing. If you grow some self confidence and maturity, and maybe move out of your mom's house, maybe you could get a date.}}

{{quotebox|
Chris to white knight
----

Look, no offense, but I am NOT "sexist", I CARE and RESPECT about the feelings, needs and individual rights of all women. And all you just did in labeling me as such, and telling me that I stink, well that only makes me feel irritated and angry. You should not Judge me by such crackpot theories, and laveling [sic] someone based on that is Wrong. You're ignorant.}}

{{quoteboxred|
White knight to Chris
----

I'm sorry, but I do not make claims from nothing. I only base my opinions off of evidence, therefore I am not ignorant. You are in denial, you just don't want to be labeled as sexist because you've tried so hard not to be. But you are one, I can see it plain as day. It's not a crackpot theory, I am a sane and rational person.

I did not say you stink, merely that your personality does. I say this because you get offended by everything I say, and respond defensively, rather than considering and respecting my opinions like you say you do before forming a rational (rather than emotional) response. If you could offer evidence as to why your personality does not stink, I would be happy to see it. You do not seem to read what I say, instead you only pick certain points and respond repetitively with answers you already gave and I already addressed.

Also, I say you are a sexist because of the crude jokes made against women you make in your comic. If you are not a sexist, why would you make those crude jokes against women? Please explain this.

If you could offer some evidence, and show me, rather than tell me, how you are not a sexist, again I would be more than happy to see it. You said that you "respect and care" about women. Clearly, this shows you to be a sexist--a sexist is a person who values one sex over the other. Whether this means you think women are better than men or men are better than women doesn't make a difference. Either way, you are a sexist. You seem to view women as being extra special people who should be put on a pedestal and worshiped--this is simply not so. A non-sexist person places value and respect on all people equally, not just women, and not just men.

Now remember, I can help you get a girlfriend. I don't need to do this for you. You should be grateful, you shouldn't attack my every standpoint. I say women find you sexist and that's why you can't get a date. I'm probably right, too. Instead of getting offended, you should go "Oh, I never realized I was a sexist." I am giving you honest advice straight from a woman's opinion, and there would be plenty of men very grateful for this advice. I warned you that you would not like most of my advice, well, it hurts but the truth does that sometimes. You will just have to take it like a strong, rational person, which I know you can be if you try. Remember, I am on your side, here to explain to you what you're doing wrong and how you can fix it, but my advice only works if you keep an open mind--I can't tell you the truth if you won't listen to it.}}

===Evaluation===

* Chris responds similarly to how he responded to [[Vivian]] in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|their AIM chat]]--unreceptive, defensive, and repetitive. He also dodges questions. Rather than acknowledging that girls don't like him because he is thoroughly unpleasant, he blames his lack of female companionship on [[stress]], [[autism]], [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|infinitely-high boyfriend-factor]], fear of rejection, and his shyness.
* Interestingly enough, he is either in denial about his weight or he truly sees himself as a slimmer, younger version of himself as seen in his high school photos. Not only is he in denial about (or blind to) his weight problem, but he will not or cannot see himself as a sexist, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
* The Krapple thread containing these emails served as a killer of troll's remorse.

==17 April 2009 — Harbal==

{{quoteboxred|1=
'''Chris, I hope this helps''' from '''Harbal''' to '''Chris''' on 17 [[April 2009]] 7:13 PM
----

Christian, good morning. Or good afternoon. Or evening. Well, whatever time of day it is for you, hello. My name is also Chris. Christopher, though, not Christian. I'm hoping that what I have to say to you is useful to you and that you haven't heard it before. If the latter is the case, then please disregard this e-mail.

I'd like you to understand that what I have to say is true. I'm going to be honest with you. So I'm going to be up front about myself. I am a troll. I have been for a good deal of years now, before the term trolling was even coined for what I did. I tell you this rather than hide it from you so that you understand that I will tell you the truth. Let me ask you though, do you fully know what a troll is? In short, a troll is someone who derives enjoyment from the emotional and mental pain of others, specifically those they cause that pain to, no matter who it is. I tell you this so that you understand my intentions.

I was thinking the other day. I was thinking about you and the trolls in charge of doing things to you and I had a revelation. You are one person. Just one. The people in charge of trolling you are many. So to benefit my amusement, wouldn't it be more prudent to turn my attention away from you and toward those who troll you? Wouldn't it make more sense to get my kicks out of many people as opposed to just one? As a matter of fact, yes. Yes it would.

So I want to out them all to you. A troll's enjoyment only lasts so long as the person or people they troll gives the proper emotional response. Unfortunately for you, you give into exactly what they want every time you do something. So wouldn't it benefit you if you knew who they were? Where they conspired and planned? That's why I'm writing to you.

http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/index.php

It's the PVCC, a term you're no doubt familiar with. The [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. That link is to a forum dedicated to you. Everything about you; your history, your life now, your family, your gal-pals, your sweethearts, your art, your comics, your characters, your ideas. When I say it's dedicated to everything about you, I mean everything. Now that's not a good thing. This is a forum dedicated to making fun of everything about you. I know, I'm a member there. They do a real good job of it. These are the people that troll you. It's not [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and it's not [[4chan]]. Let me emphasize, it's not Encyclopedia Dramatica. They can't even keep up with everything you do, these days. They're missing a lot of information.

<nowiki>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Main_Page</nowiki>

Since the PVCC is dedicated to discussing everything about you, the CWCiki is dedicated to cataloguing [sic] everything about you. It's like Wikipedia, except every article there is related to you. Again, this is not a good thing. It's all related to making fun of you.

If you sign up on the PVCC, you'll be able to get the list off all members there. If you do in fact sign up, may I suggest using a name not related to you or Sonichu. If you sign up, do not register with an e-mail relating to you or Sonichu. These people know everything about you. They'd be able to recognize something about you or you've created.

When you sign up, the members who have a red name are the admins. They're the ones that plan a lot of what happens to you. They're the ones in charge. They're the ones that matter to you. The ones in green, the "Men in the Pickle Suits", and every of the other colors, they're all irrelevant. They're basically just members of the forum, they don't do much.

They also have an IRC channel. irc.rizon.net #sonichu. For the record, if you ever get an invite to an IRC channel on rizon.net, it's a troll channel. There is only one rule on #sonichu. If you wish to participate there, you must provide a picture of your penis. It's a ridiculous rule, and they enforce it.

Let me say a little bit about [[Clyde Cash]]. Clyde is one of the admins on the PVCC. I know you hate him. I know despise him. And I know you're not going to believe this, but he is trying to help you get your life on track. The methods he uses you don't like, and that's why you think he's out to get you. It's just not true, he's not. He does want to see you succeed. He wants to see you be worthy of getting a sweetheart, of getting married, of having kids because at this point, he feels you're not ready. Now Clyde's not as important as you make him out to be. He hardly does anything. He's basically just a figurehead while other people do all the work. You're the one who gives him credit for everything. The image of Clyde you were given, by the way, is not Clyde at all, actually. It's of some guy named Lee Hotti. Google that name, you'll see it to be true. As a side note, a lot of the phone calls you've received from "Clyde" recently have not been Clyde at all, just someone using his name.

http://themiscreants.110mb.com/

Now maybe you remember this website. I believe during one of your chats using Mumble you visited this link. As you can see, since then it's been updated a lot. The Mumbles are every chat you've had with your "fans" who were in fact trolls. The PSN chats are all the chats you had with BlueSpike. The "LoveDoll" is the video of you fucking Kimmi screaming out JULLAAAAY. (JULLAAAAY is actually a meme now among some circles.) "Bob Walks In" is the audio of your father interrupting your masturbation and threatening to cut down your internet. (We actually really like your father, by the way. We call him Lumberjack Bob because he threatened to "cut down" the internet, like a lumberjack would a tree, and we're very interested in learning more about him.) "Robert Simmons and Church" is an audio of the "Jew in the Pickle Suit" going to church with you, posed as Robert Simmons. "Emily's Date" should be self-explanitory. You see Emily was a troll all along and wore a wire during the entire date. (We really enjoyed this audio because we got to learn more about your father listening to him talk.) "Emily and Clyde (Post-Date)" is a short audio of Emily talking to you, telling you she's gone to live with Clyde, and then Clyde telling you he sent you prostitutes. "Fanta: Semen Flavor", "Spank Dat Ass", and "How NOT to take a shower" are the most recent videos we've gotten. I believe you know who you sent them to.

Which brings me to my final point. Ivy. You've heard this before and you don't believe it, but I'm going to say it anyway. Ivy is a troll. If you read the PVCC enough, you'll see proof of it. And if you still don't believe it, take a moment and think. Blanca, Panda, Sarah May, Julie, Emily, you've all defended them in the past stating that they're not trolls, but what happened? Every single one of them ended up being a troll. And Ivy will too. I really wish you would believe me when I tell you this.

http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/_cwc/

That's the last link I have to give you. That is an image board, much like 4chan, that is dedicated to you. With exception for the PVCC, this forum is where you get talked about the most. There is information on this board that is not on the PVCC.

Chris I implore you to research the links I gave you thoroughly so that you can confirm that everything I've said is true. Look at every thread that relates to you, read every post. Please. I am a troll, yes, but I really am trying to help you. If you're able to believe what I've told you and accept it, I promise you it'll make it that much easier for you to not be fooled by them. It'll make you so much harder to get at because you've researched their information, you've read up on them, you'll know what to expect. If you don't believe what I've said, then I've wasted my time. If you don't believe me, I'd hope some day you do.

Stay frosty, Chris.}}

==29 April 2009 — We ''are'' watching==

{{quoteboxred|1=
'''Christian W. Chandler''' from '''John''' to '''Chris''' on 29 [[April 2009]] 11:08 PM
----

Hello Christian W. Chandler,
 I write to you as a potential benefactor, should you choose to listen to my warnings. You call me John. It is not obvious, my name is fictionalized, as well as my location and any personal information. It is not of importance, but if you wish to dismiss me as a so-called "troll" now, you may.

If you wish to hear my advice, continue and do as I say.

Delete this e-mail when you are done reading it. If you reply, make sure to delete the reply from your Sent folder.

For a long time now I have sat by as a neutral party. You obviously require help in your current situation.

Nothing posted on the internet remains private. I'm sure that's evident by now...especially to you. I am sorry your most recent YouTube account has been located by individuals, but that is inevitable, is it not? Anything on the internet available to the public will be found by the public.

You can not fight over the internet. They are a hate machine. They feed from the anger they generate.

Do not threaten them with violence.

Do not yell, swear, or scream.

Do not pay attention to them. They do not deserve a response.

Most importantly: do not threaten them with ending your comic. They are not threatened by this. They are only pleased.

I am unable to tell if your current state is built upon genius or fault. You are acting unpredictable and...starnger [sic] ...than one would expect of you. Stranger than anything they could achieve in their goading. Your most recent actions have been of questionable nature. In the event this is truly for a girl, as you claim, I must warn you she is undoubtedly one of them.

I am about to disclose some things that may make you upset or angry. Please do not stop reading.

Homosexuality is not wrong, nor is it a sin. It is completely natural for some individuals. I am not saying you are "gay" or ahomosexual[sic]. But if you feel those tendencies, you shouldn't displace your hatred on other homosexual individuals. You should accept it for who you are. I realize sin is a concept based on faith and personal viewpoints, but I assure you any religion that regards homosexuality asa [sic] sin has an equally disgusted opinion on your frequent masturbation, lust for women, and unfettering wishes to premaritally lose your virginity.

The [[man in the pickle suit]] is not a real person. He is a character being driven by many anonymous individuals.

Eating your semen does not replenish anything in your body. Your ejaculate only contains trace amounts of minerals. The sperm cells will not live outside of the body for more than a few hours, ensuring their inevitable demise regardless of your actions. Once ingested, they will be dissolved in the digestive fluids of your stomach. They will never contribute to your supply of sperm. Whoever suggested anything of that sort was lying.

I believe I have said all that is needed at this time. I hope that you will trust my word.

If you wish, you may contact me. I do not require nor ask that you do. Alternatively, you can make some reference that you have received this message to reduce the electronic paper trail. It is your decision. And remember your instructions: delete this e-mail. If you reply, delete the reply from your Sent folder.

They are watching.

They continue because you continue to make it entertaining.

I am watching.

John}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer

2012-07-13T04:33:13Z

Axe: /* See also */

[[File:Crazypacer.PNG|thumb|400px|Chris's account.]]
'''"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"''' is a blog entry by [[Anna McLerran]], under the name "Anniebananny", on 5 February, [[2005]].

Arguably the most notable independent account of Chris, which disproves any suspicion that Chris is a [[troll]] or an elaborate hoax.

==Blog posts==

===THE CRAZY PACER===

<blockquote>
<hr/>
Okay, I've put this one off long enough. It's time for the story of all stories: The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer.

Once upon a time, there was [[Christian Weston Chandler|a guy]] who paced in front of Abercrombie & Fitch. He'd come and do it for hours on end, just walking back and forth. He was an okay-looking guy, not evil-looking like Creepy Molester Dude. So he would pace for his allotted time, then leave. Sometimes as he paced, he would sing or shout. Nobody really could ever tell what he was saying. Oh yeah, and he always wore the same [[Chris and fashion|shirt]], a nice little long-sleeved red and blue number that had a gold crest on the left side, and white collar and cuffs.

Eventually, I guess he got bored of just pacing like that, because he started to bring his [[Wikipedia:Game Boy Advance SP|Gameboy SP]] with him. He had his headphones hooked up to it. So he would pace like that, all the time. His peak hours were usually between 2:oo and 4:00, and he usually left by 5:00.

Then, one day he decided to start pacing on the Pac Sun side, so he started pacing in front of our store. I think the people at Abercrombie were relieved, because they were worried about the floor out front getting worn down.

So this one day, on the day it started (it will be explained in short order), we were doing floorset, and Lin Lin noticed that Crazy Pacer kept looking into Pac Sun as he paced, and she also noticed that he has a fair amount of [[Fat Ass|junk in his trunk]], if you know what I mean. And Star and I both noticed at the same time that [[Chris and fashion|his jeans were high-water]]. And we all laughed at him. Noooo, actually we were laughing with him, he just didn't know it, and he wasn't laughing along. And this day, he was acting particularly crazy. He'd pace and pace, then stop and shout something at the wall, then keep pacing. And he also did some singing, even getting into the vibrato falsetto junks, it was hilarious.

So anyways someone, I can't remember who, suggested that the next time he looked in, we wave at him. Whoever suggested it should die, unless it was me, in which case I feel I have received enough punishment.

Of course, he looked in, and we all waved at him. He looked kind of bewildered and sort of scared at first, but quickly caught on and waved back. Then he went back to his pacing, but he was looking in to Pac Sun with greater frequency now. And any time anyone would make eye contact with him, he'd wave.

I had to go get Star an iced tea from Sbarro's, so I left and waved at Pacer as I went out. When I came back, he was sitting cross-legged on the floor outside Pac Sun, and he took the initiative and waved at me first. I smiled and waved back, but the smile wasn't to be friendly, it was because I thought it was hilarious that he was sitting on the floor like that. Good thing he couldn't tell the difference.

So we went on about our business, doing floorset and junks, and a little while later, he came in.

I was behind the counter, and Star was all, "Psst! Anna! He's coming in!!!"

I was kind of apprehensive about this...I mean, I had been doing floorset all day and I didn't really feel up to dealing with another crazy...but he came right up to the counter that I was standing behind, and he looks right at me, all fidgety and twitchy, and he goes, "You look to be about 19 years old, right?"

I busted out laughing, because he guessed it right. Star was laughing too, over from the sidelines where it was safe. "That's exactly right," I affirmed.

[[File:206-SonichuPose.jpg]]

"See, I know these things. I can just tell how old someone is," he said, kind of proud and still timid at the same time.

"Oh," I said.

"My name is Christian," he said, "but you can call me Chris. I'm Christian W. Chandler."

"Oh," I said. "Hi, Chris."

"So," he continued, "[[Sprung|Do angels have names?]]" (I found out later that he meant to say do angels like you have names...poor guy was so nervous he didn't get it right)

"Probably," I said, "but I don't know."

"Well, what's your name?" he asked.

"Sorry, I don't go for pick-up lines," I replied, kind of laughing.

His face kind of fell and I felt sorry for him, but he pressed on. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you, I was just asking your name. So what is your name?"

"Anna."

"Oh, that's a very pretty name. And I like your hair, it's a very pretty color. My eyes are two different colors, one of them is green and the other is blue, that's because I had [[pink eye|pink-eye]] a while back and one of them stayed that way. What color are your eyes?"

I was pretty grossed out by the pink-eye story, but I told him anyway. "Sometimes blue, sometimes green, and usually gray."

"Oh, that's neat. It's funny how that happens, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said.

"So do you want to, you know, go get some ice cream when you get off work?" he asked.

"No, I just ate," I said, "And I'm still pretty full. Plus I'm getting off soon."

"Okay, well, Anna, is there any way I could, um, get your phone number, and maybe I could give you a call sometime?"

"No."

"Ah. Well, do you want my phone number, then? You can call me on my cellphone."

"No thanks," I said.

He wasn't to be deterred. "So, um, so do you have a [[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend]], Anna?"

"No," I said.

"Oh!" he said, brightening, and started to say something else, but I cut in.

"I'm not looking for one, though," I said.

His face fell again, but this time I felt no pity. "All right," he said, fidgeting, "Well, um, do you have access to the internet?"

I nodded.

"'Kay...hold on one second. I'll be right back."

I nodded, and he went back to his "spot" where he kept his two tote bags and his Sam's Club cup. I turned to Star and she was all, "Dude he is so weird!" and I was like, "I know! Make it stop!"

He started to come back in, and I was like, "Um...I have to...go in the back...and get a drink of water..." but Star shook her head. I had to finish what I'd started.

So Christian came back, and handed me a card with a crudely drawn Sonic the Hedgehog and some other [[Sonichu|yellow Sonic-looking creature]] on it, along with Christian's name, email address, and website. It was a homemade business card. "That's my email address, and you can just email me sometime, okay?"

"Okay," I said, not intending to email him at all.

He left the store, packed up his things, and went. His work for the day was done. But the story does not end here, my friends, oh no. He came back. Not the same day, but the day after that.

<hr/>
</blockquote>

===MY HORRIBLE WONDERFUL DAY===
On February 8, Anna made another post, alluding to a "Note", presumably something to do with the [[Love Quest]].[http://dangerless.blogspot.com/2005_02_01_archive.html]
<blockquote>Oh yeah, and Sonichu came in and visited for a little bit, but I really didn't feel like having him there. I WAS nice, though. I was nice. So after he left, Shorty wanted to know what was up with him, so I told her, and showed her The Note.</blockquote>

==See also==
* [http://dangerless.blogspot.com/2005/02/story-7.html Anna's original blog entry, names altered to "protect" Chris's identity].
{{DEFAULTSORT:Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Church audio

2012-07-13T04:31:43Z

Axe: /* External links */ Category:Eyewitness Accounts

Emily Date Conversation Transcript

2012-07-13T04:31:06Z

Axe: /* External links */ Category:Eyewitness Accounts

[[Image:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|70px|The only known image of Emily, shot from behind.]]

On 19 [[March 2009]], [[Chris]] went on his first (and only) [[dating|date]] ever with a [[troll]] called [[Emily]]. For posterity's sake, the event was recorded, and is now presented in text format for your enjoyment here.

==Summary==
*The trolls worry about a possible appearance by [[Snorlax|Barb]], run a mic check.
*Emily talks to [[Bob]], ignores Chris.
*Bob recites his work history, from serving in the army to retirement. Chris talks a grand total of 9 times, gets ignored.
*Bob goes on at length about being retired. Chris tries to interrupt several times, and fails several times.
*Chris reveals his favorite artist is [[Britney Spears]].
*Bob reveals his patchy medical history.
*Finally, Chris gets a whole minute in which to talk. The [[Amnyfest Ring]] makes an appearance.
*Chris asks why [[University of Virginia|UVA]] doesn't have a [[Sonichu Girls]] chapter.
*Chris brings up his [[Heterochromia|pink-eye]].
*Bob goes back to his health problems.
*Bob and Chris mention their [[Cherokee]] heritage.
*Chris flirts.
*Chris fails at flirting.
*Chris does the infamous [[Donald Duck]] impression.
*Chris talks about [[Sailor Moon]].
*Emily and Chris leave Bob and go out into the mall.
*Chris brings up winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sonic competition]].
*Emily tries to be discreet about going to the bathroom. Chris announces she's on her period.
*Emily flees.
*The [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickle]] Man arrives and saves Emily, whereupon Chris announces "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]."
*Chris tries to kiss Emily goodbye.
*Emily makes good her escape and goes home with the Pickle Man.

==Cast==

'''Frosty''' - A whiz kid, his high-tech know-how keeps the group online.

'''Camwhore''' - "Emily's friend", her mission is to capture video of the event.

'''Emily''' - Queen of [[trolls]], she risks both life and limb on a plunge into the heart of darkness.

'''Pickle Man''' – Brave and daring hero, he protects Emily from certain peril.

'''Chris''' – Misshapen, autistic manchild, his disgusting nature seeps into the very recording of his voice.

'''Bob''' – [[Robert Chandler]], the proud [[Internet]] lumberjack, yet also slave to the manchild.
==Transcript==
=== Overture (0:00:00–0:03:13) ===
[[Image:ThongMic.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's impression of what Emily is wearing.]]
'''Frosty:''' Okay... lock it?

'''Frosty:''' Okay-

'''Camwhore:''' Are you wearing a [[Butt garments|thong]]? With a-

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Camwhore:''' That better be fuckin' ''tight''.

'''Emily:''' It's tight.

'''Camwhore:''' That may pop out while you're walking around, while you're like-

'''Emily:''' I should be like-

'''Camwhore:''' Or a robotic [[China|vagina]].

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' Say "It's my [[Sex toys|vibrator]]."

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' It's one of those things that you see taped to those- those hentai-

'''Frosty:''' Well, the thing is, Chris- if you said that to Chris, he would squeal.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh! Okay, if he gets, like, ''way'' too close to me, I'm just gonna be like- get my chair farther away.

'''Camwhore:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' I really like your [inaudible]

'''Pickle Man:''' [''laughs''] Maybe Barb- Barbara can come.

'''Emily:''' Apparently, she doesn't leave the house anymore.

'''Pickle Man:''' No, I'm just [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible]

'''Frosty:''' There- there are [[Obesity|Barb candidates]] ''everywhere''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Frosty:''' No, no, no, no, no, no. But- but in all actuality, there should be no [[Barb]]; if there ''is'' Barb, I will [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit myself]].

'''Emily:''' If there is Barb, we're- we're done.

'''Camwhore:''' We're not showing up.

'''Frosty:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Frosty:''' "You brought your mommy?"

'''Emily:''' I should be like, "No– just put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today."

'''Camwhore:''' Yeah.

'''Frosty:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' That's it.

'''Camwhore:''' And you can call him and be like "You owe me a ''dire'' apology, and you're the… jack-off-"

'''Emily:''' No– I'm sure I'm gonna yell at him, and make him ''cry''.

'''Frosty:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' And I'm gonna be like "Oh– I live in [[Clyde]]'s playboy mansion now." [''laughs'']

'''Frosty:''' No– even better!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' [aside] I'm waiting. I'm ''part'' of Clyde's playboy mansion.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Camwhore:''' I'm the janitor.

[''all laugh loudly'']

'''Emily:''' Okay– let's go see if he's there.

'''Camwhore:''' ''You'' go see if he's there.

'''Emily:''' ''No!'' 'Cause- 'cause it's-

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible (but about "a girl")]

'''Emily:''' 'Cause I'm gonna make it like an entrance, like… ''"Hiii!"''

'''Pickle Man:''' Did he say where [''inaudible, presumably "where he'll park his car", judging by Camwhore's response'']

'''Emily:''' No. Like, he wants to be- he wants to meet in front of [[Chick-fil-A]], so…

'''Camwhore:''' Figures! But the ''general'' idea would be you park near where you wanna… go.

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible]

'''Camwhore:''' What if that [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' [aside] [inaudible] Do you see those pile of balloons right there? Swear to God: it looks like a [[Pickle|penis]].

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible]

'''Camwhore:''' The balloons. Right here.

'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' It's a fuckin' penis.

[pause]

'''Camwhore:''' Nope.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

[pause]

'''Emily:''' [''sighs'']

'''Camwhore:''' [''sighs'']

[pause]

'''Camwhore:''' There's that ugly bitch that looks like [[Wikipedia:Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl: A Love Story|Hamster Girl]]… at [[Coffee Place|Starbucks]].

'''Emily:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Camwhore:''' She ''looks'' like Hamster Girl.

'''Pickle Man:''' ''Which'' one looks like Hamster Girl?

'''Camwhore:''' Right there. The only one that you can see working?

'''Pickle Man:''' Oh– over at Starbucks? You should see her with that hair off.

'''Camwhore:''' No, no, no. She looks like Hamster Girl. [''inaudible'']

'''Pickle Man:''' I'm telling you: you should see her with that [[hair] off!

'''Camwhore:''' Oh– she don't have no hair?

'''Pickle Man:''' Um...

'''Camwhore:''' Oh– she has a fake-

'''Pickle Man:''' She has fake hair, or… she has no hair… or the hair back like this.

'''Camwhore:''' Well, yeah– I knew that.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Camwhore:''' I was gonna say: I don't- I guess she dyed her hair blond. 'Cause I remember seeing her with some ugly, strange-colored hair.

===Target acquired (0:03:13–0:04:43)===

'''Frosty:''' There he is!

'''Camwhore:''' Shut up!

'''Emily:''' [''startled''] What?

'''Frosty:''' I can see a [''inaudible''] jacket.

'''Emily:''' Oh my God! [''jokingly''] Eject! Oh my God!

'''Frosty:''' Is your jacket on? [''unintelligible''] Put your jacket on. Are you ready?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I'm ready. [''laughs nervously''] This is gonna be my best acting moment ever.

'''Pickle Man:''' He can't see my face before I suit up.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– go, like, look, 'cause he has to sit down first.

'''Pickle Man:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Frosty:''' He'll realize later: that's what it was.

'''Camwhore:''' I don't feel bad.

'''Emily:''' Okay. Hopefully, he, like, won't come, like, around and- [''inaudibly interrupted''] Huh? I don't have my phone.

[''pause'']

'''Emily:''' Oh my God…

[''pause'']

'''Emily:''' If this goes all smoothly, I should get, like…

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] Where do I sit… to, like, watch [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' Um, there's some ''benches'', like… by the tables. [abruptly] Oh! Oh! Oh, no.

'''Pickle Man:''' Where do I go?

'''Emily:''' Okay– there's some benches, like, ''nearby''…

'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah?

'''Emily:''' Um, just sit and watch him [''unintelligible''] till you need to go change or whatever.

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. Well, I- I started the- I [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. I'll [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''exhales loudly''] Yeah. Or just, like… kinda walk around and see if you can… see us.

===The Green Mile (0:04:44–0:05:19)===

[''Emily's footfalls can be heard as she marches off to meet the manchild.'']

===Meet the Parent (0:05:20–0:07:17)===

'''Emily:''' ''Hi!''

'''Chris:''' Hello! Emily?

'''Emily:''' Yeah! I'm Emily. So nice to meet you!

'''Chris:''' Hi, Emily. This is my father, Robert.

'''Bob:''' Hello.

'''Emily:''' Hello. [pause] I've started [[Rosechu|shopping]] a little bit.

'''Chris:''' That's alright.

'''Bob:''' You're from West Virgina?

'''Emily:''' Yeah... I used to live here for a while, but then, I-

'''Chris:''' [''abruptly''] Hey!

'''Emily:''' But then, I moved to-

'''Chris:''' [[Autism|Cute hat!]]

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I thought you might like it.

'''Chris:''' [''laughs contentedly'']

'''Bob:''' You go to school over there?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– [[Wikipedia:West Virginia University|University of West Virginia]]. My friend, uh, wanted to go to school there, and she's my best friend, so I have to… go with her everywhere! [''laughs nervously'']

'''Bob:''' That sounds like the best way to do things!

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hey, Emily– you mind, uh, a photo of you and me together?

'''Emily:''' Sure!

[pause]

'''Bob:''' What are you taking?

'''Emily:''' I'm doing journalism.

'''Bob:''' What?

'''Emily:''' ''Journalism.''

'''Bob:''' Journalism?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Ah! You wanna be a writer!

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''giggles''] I did a lot-

'''Bob:''' He has a… [[Cole Smithey|''half-brother'']] who's- who lives in New York City… and, uh, does ''freelance'' writing and show reviews and things… for newspapers and magazines.

'''Emily:''' Is it- does he love it?

'''Bob:''' I ''guess''.

'''Emily:''' [''giggles again'']

'''Bob:''' I haven't talked to him in years…

'''Emily:''' Yeah…

'''Chris:''' I can't this dang camera to work!

[pause]

'''Bob:''' Yeah– that's- I worked at, uh- I'm an engineer… and engineers [[Chris and English|never learn how to spell]].

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' I think very logically, but I-

'''Chris:''' Shoot! I got bad batteries in the [[Chris and camerawork|camera]].

'''Emily:''' [''disappointed''] Oh...

'''Bob:''' If I would- if I would ''write'' anything, half the words would be phonetically rather than the way we're… ''supposed'' to do.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' I got along fine… writing stuff… on my ''word'' processor… when I had a ''spell'' checker.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Without that, I'm [''unintelligible, but clearly self-deprecating''] [''laughs heartily'']

'''Emily:''' Did you like doing engineering?

'''Bob:''' Well... I- I had a real ''u-''nique situation…

[''pause'']

===Bob's work history (0:07:18–0:16:58)===

'''Bob:''' Look, uh… I'm- I'm really old.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Okay– to start with: I'm 81. And, uh, I came along ''before'' [[Wikipedia:Transistor|transistors]].

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Not- not [unintelligible] all the safe stuff we have now, but even before ''transistors''… when we had [[Wikipedia:Vacuum tube|vacuum tubes]].

'''Bob:''' I, uh... got drafted after World War II. That's how old. But, uh... then, they put me in the Signal Corps, and they knew things I didn't know. They taught me how to install valve systems and switchboards and telephone poles. So, I found out: yeah– I'm pretty good at that. So, when I got out– 'course that was in [[Pre-1980#1947|1947]]– I found out- now, I know that we had a depression on our hands; I didn't know it then.

'''Bob:''' You couldn't get a job, so, I thought "Well, I got the G.I. Bill. I'll go to school."

'''Emily:''' Yeah– now, it's really hard to become an engineer.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– now, ya- I, uh-

'''Bob:''' I went to… a state teaching college to start with, 'cause I had the philosophy that if I went to a big school I'd be just… swallowed up.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So, I went to a small school and took Pre-Engineering for two years, and that was the best thing ''I'' ever did, 'cause I wound up, uh- well, I got- I got through my two years of Pre-Engineering in small classes.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And also, I loved [[music]], and I was in [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|the band]] and everything. And I got in the symphony orchestra… and learned a lot about music while I was up there too.

'''Bob:''' And then, I went to Auburn, and then [''unintelligible''] talk about getting swallowed up!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Then, at that time, Auburn- which now has what: 30,000 students, or something? Auburn had about 5,000 students.

'''Bob:''' I got my Engineering degree. And then, when I got out, I said "Well, I'll, uh... I can do anything with relays and telephones and valve systems, and that sort of thing. I'm gonna work for Western Electric."

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' That seems logical, right?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [suddenly offended somehow] Hey!

'''Bob:''' Because they make, uh-

'''Chris:''' You- no– you listen to my father… because he's somethin'! Because I get some of my intelligence from ''him''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [[Chris and reality|Especially my ''technological'' intelligence.]]

'''Bob:''' But anyway, I, uh- I went to work for them for forty years, and, uh... at that point in time…

'''Bob:''' Uh, this is even ''before'' the Atlas missile… the ICBM.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs nervously'']

'''Bob:''' ''Before'' the Korean War… and, uh- but, I- I found out they were building ''radar'' systems. Well, that was fine, but also, they had lots of government money, so they wanted some automatic test equipment. At that time, ''nothing'' was automatic. They ''had'' none!

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So, that's what ''I'' went and built, that kinda stuff, what I learned in the army, right?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So, I started working with the first automatic test equipment that we ever made. And then, [[Wikipedia:General Electric|GE]] heard about it… and they came down to [''possibly town name''] in North Carolina.

'''Bob:''' And- so, GE came down; they offered me a job… up in upstate New York. Cold country in Utica.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' And then, uh... I went down to build some automatic test equipment for the ICBM [''unintelligible''] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Intercontinental Ballistic Missile]].

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Nobody knows how, 'cause we haven't done it before.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' We'd done some of this automatic test equipment down here. "Why don't you come up there?" "Well, okay!"

'''Bob:''' So, I went up there for three years and helped develop the, uh, automatic… equipment… for testing the missiles, and… all the guidance systems, and things… in the [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' But- but I got- I was a soldier, true and tried, 'cause I was born in Texas and raised in Alabama.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And then, I was in North Carolina first. And then, I hit upstate New York, and I froze to death. [''chuckles'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah, that must be really different! [''laughs again'']

'''Bob:''' Well, after three years, I said "I'm going back to somethin' [''unintelligible'']" Well, GE- I didn't know it then, but I had a real, natural ''draw''… to the mountains.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And I knew about Roanoke, since I'd been in, uh, [''unintelligible''] So, I wanted to come back to Roanoke, and GE had plants there.

'''Bob:''' And… they were there developing- specializing in industrial automation. Except they didn't done any ''automation'' yet. They were just industrial-controlled.

'''Bob:''' So, I finagled a transfer back to Roanoke, and… I got there just at the time when they were startin'… to make… any kind of automation controls for engines.

'''Bob:''' So, I got into what they call "a new business area". And I got to do ''all'' the great things. All my- I- I really had it right. I was in the right places at the right time.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Because I am very ''[[Autism|logically]]-''inclined.

'''Emily:''' That doesn't really happen nowadays, with the economy…

'''Bob:''' Yeah– and I- I'm a logician.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Oddly enough, I never learned how a transistor even works… on records. But I ''use'' 'em all the time.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I use 'em. I'm retired now, a long time. But… when I started out with this group, and the first thing we got into was trying to automate a steel mill… for rolling [''unintelligible''] steel for your cars.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Well, we did that. And then, I got into… how to roll papers so you could get Kleenex.

'''Emily:''' [''giggles'']

'''Chris:''' And, of course, y'know, he's the guy that designed the controls for all the plastic water machines, so without him at this time, you couldn't have the plastic for your glasses.

'''Bob:''' And- and then- then, I got into- I was in the new business area where we could do the first one… and then, somebody else would take over and do the others.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And- and then, I got into managing a paper mill. But then, I got into the… industry of- of, uh, like phone line warehousing, automatic transition, like BART: Bay Area Rapid Transit.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Automatic railroads and all that kind of stuff. Automated a bunch of that. Then, I got into automating a bunch of mine [unintelligible] around the world.

'''Emily:''' You've been through a lot!

'''Bob:''' And then, I went to automating tanker ships, so you could run 'em from the bridge and have nobody downstairs.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Just someone else involved-

'''Chris:''' Want some water?

'''Emily:''' No, thank you.

'''Bob:''' And, uh... then, uh- then, um, I got into… I developed a system and I found out that there was very few people like me in the world that had this natural… inclination… for logic.

'''Bob:''' Anyway, like [[Wikipedia:Logic gate|the ANDs, and ORs, and the what-ifs, and the what-if-nots]].

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And then, I developed a system… called a [''inaudible''] that stands [''unintelligible''], that's an acronym.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Hardware-oriented [[2000|Y2K]] pile of junk!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Similar fortune… was in… ''hardware''.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' Hey, everybody– I got [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you.

'''Bob:''' What this enables-

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible, but clearly addressing Emily'']

'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] Thank you.

'''Bob:''' What this enables everybody to do- and me, too, but I was lazy…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Was to write down on- on paper– and design on paper from the start– a sequence of parallel lines.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And up to that point, nobody had a way of writin' it down on paper.

'''Emily:''' [''half-stifles a genuine laugh'']

'''Bob:''' And they ''still'' don't, really! [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' But that [unintelligible] to mind, horse and buggy.

'''Bob:''' Elevator-type system that's over a 5,000 ft. hole!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Then, I got into, uh, designing… ''scooter'' machines, which fused all the plastic around wires, and things like that…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Scooters. And then, I got into... die-cast machines… and the machines automating ''them''. They make things like carburetors, and [[My Coke Rewards|cans]], and whatever.

'''Bob:''' And then, I got into ''plastics''… and even the ''plastics'' were [unintelligible] automating their machines. In the process, I ended up with about… ''two'' patents [unintelligible] in ''my'' name that ''they'' own. And all this… dumb stuff. And I saw the first 2-liter Coke bottle…

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Come off the line in New England.

'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] on it, and all these [''unintelligible''] microvalves, and ''doors'', and- and, um... ''shutters'', and [[Kimmi|stuff like that made out of plastic]]. All this stuff we got plastic.

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] in your frames!

'''Emily:''' Yep! [''giggles'']

'''Bob:''' Including, uh, [[Sex toys|Tupperware]].

'''Emily:''' Can't… go without Tupperware…

'''Bob:''' So, then [''unintelligible''] ''finalized'' and- and perfected, basically, this [''unintelligible''] process…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Of design and documentation. [''unintelligible''] It came time for me to retire. And so, I did! [''chuckles'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' So, now, I'm ''un-''indated with all this stuff I did, and I don't know whether I did the world a good thing or not.

'''Emily:''' I think you did!

'''Bob:''' But I can't-

'''Emily:''' You did a lot of things.

'''Bob:''' I can't spell the word "[[cat]]" without a 'K' in it.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, well, y'know, [[Chris and his ego|I'm proud of him anyway]], for his accompliment- accom-''plish-''ments.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

[pause]

'''Bob:''' He's got a ''half-''brother who's a doctor.

'''Chris:''' ''His'' son.

'''Emily:''' ''Oh...'' okay.

'''Bob:''' And he's got a- and I have a daughter, who is his- his half-sister… that's a… [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]] outta UVA Atlantic.

'''Emily:''' ''Oh...'' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' She's workin' for the federal government, and she's got a Ph.D. now. She's working somewhere for the federal government. All these [[Autism|math people]]… I dunno.

===Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)===

'''Emily:''' I'm not very good at math. [''giggles'']

'''Bob:''' I'm not that-

'''Emily:''' That's why-

'''Bob:''' I'm good at ''logic'', but not at math.

'''Chris:''' But ''I'm'' good at math!

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Bob:''' He's not good at math when it comes to managing [[money]].

[pause]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Hey– look! Hey– look it! I have… ''your'' plastic lid on it!

[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs'']

'''Bob:''' We've been working with him, now, for 27 years.

'''Bob:''' It was a challenge. ''Most'' of the time, I've been retired, so I could stay home.

'''Emily:''' Yeah... usually, if you're not very good at math, you're really good at writing, which is why I'm going for journalism.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– well, I, um... I did- I do alright with writing as long as I got a spell checker.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' I just, uh- I- but I enjoyed my life. It- it, uh- it- I had… things; I had- I had opportunities that most people don’t get.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I got to see all this stuff now.

'''Emily:''' That’s good. I hope that, like, y'know, I can travel around the world and, y'know... write up- do some journalism, like, overseas.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– I’ve been to [[PandaHalo|Australia]], and I’ve been to Korea, and I've been to [[Anne Boleyn|England]]. ''Most'' people [''unintelligible''] to see 'em, but [''unintelligible''] I've never seen, 'cause they work too good.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Well, it- it was interesting. [pause] I wish I could get- find out what ''Christian's'' really good- well, he’s pretty good in [[Art|drawing]]…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And writing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– he- she should know; she- you’ve- you should know; you've seen a bunch of [[Chris and art|my artwork]].

'''Emily:''' Yeah! It’s really good! All my- all my friends like it, as well.

'''Bob:''' [[Chris and copyright|He’s ''creative'']]… but he’s, um... I- I guess you know he’s- [[autism|he's high-functioning autistic]]… and, um...

'''Chris''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' At six, he couldn’t even ''talk''… but he was… ''programming'' [unintelligible] on his computer: his [[Wikipedia:Commodore International|Commodore]] computer…

'''Chris:''' [[Wikipedia:Commodore 64|Commodore 64]].

'''Bob:''' [''laughs''] Which was his first little-

'''Emily:''' Oh! I don’t know very many- much about computers! [''giggles''] Sorry! [''giggles some more'']

'''Bob:''' You’ve probably got a laptop, with a word processor, don't ya?

'''Emily:''' [''reluctantly''] Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah– but you-

'''Bob:''' Now, we've- we- we’ve brought him a long way.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' It’s been interesting.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... well, that’s a little piece for you- that you can, uh, write about, if you want to.

'''Emily:''' Yeah! That- that would be interesting.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, you- anyway, you came all the way here from, uh, VCU? Or did you make a few stops along the way?

'''Emily:''' No– I came all the way from VCU. Um... like, a lot of my fr- uh, friends over at VCU? They're into the whole Sonichu thing, but there’s a lot more… uh, like, I guess "[[Sonichu Girls]]"…

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Up in, uh, the University of West Virginia. And we… k- we kinda do, like, a newsletter-type thing every week.

'''Chris:''' Wow.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' But this is in one of my favorite spots in the country.

'''Chris:''' [''responding belatedly to Emily''] I commend you for that.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] little trees on West Avenue.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Have you heard of West Avenue?

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' You know where West Avenue is?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– a little bit; I don’t… really go in that area.

'''Bob:''' They're at the end of VCU, then?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] I don’t know that area very well.

'''Bob:''' It’s- it's a street of, uh, townhouses. And it's about three blocks long. And it’s got a second name called "Stork Alley".

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And every spring, they have a "Stork Alley Rally".

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? Oh…

'''Bob:''' At the same time, they have the Easter parade over on Monument Avenue.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I’ve never seen it before, but my friends tell me about it. But I’m usually stuck in, y'know… college.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– but- but I was only in Richmond… um… 1975 through 1980. And then, I got married to ''his'' mother. And, um... ''he'' was born, and then, we got transferred over here; I worked for GE. And we lived in Chesterfield County… but I ''love'' West Avenue; that’s my favorite spot.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' I call it "Sesame Street".

'''Emily:''' Oh, that’s… [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Because they call it "Stork Alley", 'cause there’s so many kids.

'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah?

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' I- I- I love the Virginian area.

'''Bob:''' His ''mother''… was raised– but you wouldn’t believe it– she- she was raised in a [''unintelligible''] home. And one that's [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Right there on, um… I can’t think of the name of that street: the one that goes right in front of the [[Burger King]]… down at… VCU.

'''Emily:''' I don’t know what… streets really are-

'''Bob:''' Well, again- but that is a street that goes right in front of Burger King…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And right down the street from there is where… ''his'' mother lived for about twenty years and raised [[Cole Smithey|her first son]]. And he’s got a lot of ties to the family, too; he just doesn’t like me.

'''Emily:''' Oh... do you guys have a big family?

[pause]

'''Bob:''' Well, uh, we’ve got- we've got ''my'' son, and my daughter. You- my son’s in [[Richmond]], and my daughter’s in Washington.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And then, we’ve got ''her'' son, who's in New York. And then, there’s the three of us.

[''pause'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah– Schiflett's a really big family.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– we got… two- really, two separate families.

'''Emily:''' Mmm.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... but it’s not as big as [[Wikipedia:The Brady Bunch|The Brady Bunch]]!

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' No… it isn't.

'''Emily:''' No.

'''Bob:''' But we- we- we enjoy it, and I- I have- uh, I grow flowers. And... I don’t have to worry about… makin' a livin' anymore…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' With [[Monthly tugboat|Social Security]], and... the GE pension. And GE's good and sound… fortunately!

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

[pause]

'''Bob:''' So, uh... I- I grow day lilies. I’ve gotten my yard full of [''unintelligible'']. And in the middle, I’ve got a, um... well, about fifteen-foot plastic greenhouse.

'''Emily:''' Oh?

'''Bob:''' Except… inside this greenhouse, it’s different.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Inside this greenhouse, there’s ''plastic'' flowers.

'''Emily:''' Oh– ''plastic'' flowers?

'''Bob:''' A ''swing''… and, uh, all my ''stereo'' stuff, and, uh...

'''Chris:''' Yeah– but he’s got ''real'' flowers in his garden.

'''Emily:''' Oh. Oh, okay.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– the day lilies are real, in the garden; but inside here, it’s all flat.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– day lilies bloom about once a year, during- dur- about ''once''-

'''Bob:''' In the summer.

'''Chris:''' This- this summer.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' There- there's also that-

'''Chris:''' And then, they stay that way for about a month or so. It’s a beautiful garden.

'''Emily:''' Oh, I can imagine!

'''Bob:''' Yeah– I’ve got about 15,000 healthy-

'''Chris:''' [''dreamily/creepily''] ''Imagine!''

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And I- I love all the music from- from Dixieland to Big Band to [unintelligible].

'''Chris:''' Raise me on music, he did!

'''Emily:''' [''giggles'']

'''Bob:''' And- and musicals. And soundtracks.

'''Emily:''' Well, what’s ''your'' favorite artist?

'''Chris:''' Uh, my favorite artist? Well, he didn’t raise me on it, but, y'know, my favorite ss- uh... ''singer'' is [[Britney Spears]].

'''Emily:''' Britney Spears?

'''Bob:''' And, uh, he's got all- uh, mine are all back from the '40s, and '30s, and '20s, and-

'''Emily:''' And he’s into… more ''modern'' pop music?

'''Chris:''' Although… I guess if I had to pick a ''classic'' favorite, it would have to be ''[[Niggos|Satchmo']]'.

'''Emily:''' "Satchmo"?

'''Chris:''' [[Wikipedia:Louis Armstrong|Louis Armstrong]].

'''Bob:''' And- but I've got him all these big ''classics'' now-

'''Chris:''' [''does terrible Satchmo impression''] "Ten feet off the ground! Ba-doom-ba-bam-bow. [''Worst attempt at scatting ever'']"

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [''imitates trumpet melody'']

'''Emily:''' [''giggles'']

'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when it came out. All the European records were [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when they came out, 'cause they were ten, twelve dollars a piece, then, but now, you can get 'em at [[Chris and fashion|Goodwill and Salvation Army]]…

'''Emily:''' Well like-

'''Bob:''' A ''quarter'' to ''fifty'' cents apiece.

'''Emily:''' [''feigning enthusiastic agreement''] Yeah! [''laughs weakly'']

'''Bob:''' ''Thousands'' of them now!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And inside, uh, I found out that inside this, um… um… ''greenhouse''…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm?

'''Bob:''' It's got a ''dome'' ceiling… which gives it the ca- ''cathedral'' kind of [unintelligible]

'''Bob:''' Well... I found this ''great'' stereo system at, uh- in the [[1970s]], at Goodwill… and put ''it'' out there… along with the swing.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And... if you turn the volume up, then that music just sounds like it’s the hall where they ''recorded'' it! Ah– it's great! Goin' out there and swingin' with my music for hours on end!

'''Emily:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily'']

'''Emily:''' That must be really relaxing!

'''Bob:''' Well, yeah– it's a nice life!

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely'']

===Bob's health problems (0:24:23–0:25:29)===

'''Bob:''' If I didn't have to worry about ''him'', I'd be in ''great'' shape!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs sympathetically'']

'''Bob:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' [''laughs nervously''] [unintelligible] But he's been- still been in… good shape all his [unintelligible, seems like gibberish] I mean, he's been in- he's been through, uh, ''three'' triple- ''two'' triple-bypasses?

'''Bob:''' Yeah– I was supposed to ''die'' in 1980.

'''Emily:''' Oh, no! What happened?

'''Bob:''' In fact, I ''did''.

'''Emily:''' What happened?

'''Bob:''' I [[Tobacky|smoked]] too much…

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Bob:''' And, um... I worked for GE.

'''Bob:''' I did [[Barbara|all this dumb stuff I shouldn't have]].

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' Yeah- but yeah– he- but yes– uh...

'''Bob:''' And, um...

'''Chris:''' God let him survive!

'''Bob:''' I had a couple [[Heart level|heart attacks]], and...

'''Emily:''' [''responding to Chris''] Yeah– [[Chris|for]] [[Burger King|a]] [[Barbara|reason]]!

'''Chris:''' And he's got a [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|pacemaker]] now!

'''Bob:''' Yeah... I- I've been through- I lived through a [[Wikipedia:Triple bypass|triple-bypass]] in [[1980]] when they were brand new.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously'']

'''Bob:''' And survived that… so, [[Chris and death|I've only died a couple times!]] And then, I got- I got through that. Then, ''he'' came along.

'''Chris:''' Hey! He come-

'''Bob:''' And then, I- I got retired…

'''Chris:''' Hey!

'''Emily:''' Hmm?

'''Chris:''' Yeah– hey– he's the one that's b- that has seen the light, but did not actually go ''to'' it…

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And, um...

'''Chris:''' A ''number'' of times.

'''Bob:''' I had ''another'' triple-bypass in [[1992|'92]]… And I died a couple times that [''unintelligible''] And that was at Chippenham, over in Chester County.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

===Memories of High School (0:25:30–0:26:12)===

'''Bob:''' And, uh... when I was over there with him, I- I put him to school through, uh, ''Chesterfield'' County's school system.

'''Chris:''' Uh...

'''Bob:''' Well, they're the best in the country…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Bob:''' For- for schools, ''I'' think.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Bob:''' And- and, um...

'''Chris:''' [[Manchester High]].

'''Emily:''' [''uninterested''] Oh, really?

'''Bob:''' Then, um...

'''Chris:''' That's my birthstone: [[Amnyfest Ring|amnyfest]].

'''Emily:''' And the ''side'' of it… What does it say: "Lancers"?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Is that- wait– is that your mascot?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Then…what's on the other side? "[[2000]]"?

'''Chris:''' Yes... that's my class and coat'a arms.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' [[Manchester High School]]. And look at the jewel! It's a galaxy cut on top, and a [[rainbow]] on the bottom. If you look at- in the ring-

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' Do you see-

'''Emily:''' I see it!

'''Chris:''' Do you see the rainbow?

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [[speech impediment|Well, anyway, like, y'know,]] I guess that's enough- y'know, that's enough talk from ''him''. Uh... you were gonna ask…

'''Emily:''' Aww...

'''Chris:''' ''Me'' something?

===The "Sonichu Girls" Club (0:26:13–0:29:01)===

'''Bob:''' Now, I wanna find out about these… ''Sonichu'' Girls!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Sonichu Girls?

'''Bob:''' 'Cause I didn't know about them.

'''Emily:''' Oh– didn't… Chris tell you about them?

'''Bob:''' No– he doesn't- no– he doesn't normally- he doesn't… ''tell'' me much about them, so... See– he's a- he- he and his mother [[Biological clock|stay up all night]]… and I stay up all day.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' Uh... actually reminds me more- actually, we're more- sometimes, you stay up in the day; sometimes, you stay up in the night.

'''Emily:''' So, you've got, like, ''mixed''… like, sleep schedules, I guess?

'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''... my mom- and my- my mom picked up my bad biological- my messed-up [[biological clock]].

'''Bob:''' Yeah...

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Bob:''' She stays up all night! But anyway... I- I- yeah– I found out about 'em from… I guess, when you called on the phone…

'''Emily:''' Oh! [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And- and left a message.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– it's a pretty big fanbase. Um... there's actually about- about 30-some girls… at University of West Virginia who, like, are part of the fan club.

'''Bob:''' Hmm!

'''Emily:''' And then, there's- I mean, there's, uh, plenty of others, like, around the world, too, that- we talk to… um, on the forums that we have?

'''Bob:''' Uh-huh.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Do- you got one here in UVA?

'''Emily:''' I don't know… [''giggles''] I don't have very many friends at UVA.

'''Bob:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] That's why I heard- that's why.

'''Bob:''' VCU's [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah. They're a lot more laid-back over there.

'''Bob:''' Yeah. Well, they're in the sand! How else could you be?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' 'Cause in the sand, you have to be laid-back.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

[pause]

'''Bob:''' Y'know, I was curious about this- this club…

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh?

'''Bob:''' I- I didn't know he even knew about it! ''I'' didn't know about it. I think it's great!

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hey– I've been on the [[IRC|Internet chat]]! And plus, y'know...

'''Bob:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Y'know, certain-

'''Bob:''' Plus [[medallion|the ''medallion'']], Christian!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... um...

'''Bob:''' He's got this yellow medallion with Sonichu on it…

'''Emily:''' Yeah! Why- why aren't you wearing your… [''suddenly concerned''] m- medallion?

'''Chris:''' Um... I just believe I expressed that, uh... in a video on, uh, [[YouTube]]? But I- I, uh...

'''Emily:''' I might've missed that; I'm not sure.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– um... I'd rather not say in front of- I'd rather not say in front of ''Father''… but, uh...

'''Bob:''' There's a lot of things he doesn't tell me; he doesn't share things with me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' ''Oh''... [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' [whispering] If I told him why, he'd have ''another'' heart attack…

'''Emily:''' Oh, no! [''laughs politely'']

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' Whatever.

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely again'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah... But I mean, y'know… think of it this way: at least you don't have another face that you have- you don't- it saves you one face to have to look at!

'''Emily:''' Yeah... [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– and look at 'em, y'know: they're ashually ''[[Heterochromia|green-blue]]''.

[pause]

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I see it!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah– pink eye in that eye, and then, uh, the prescribed eye drops changed the pigment!

'''Emily:''' Wow... I didn't know that… could happen! [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Yeah''... looks like you kinda, like, uh, have green-brown eyes yourself?

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Uh...

'''Emily:''' I thought they were just plain brown! [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– it's just that- y'know, it's- the angle of the light kinda gave it a little bit of a greenish tint…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] might be blue...

===Emily isn't hungry (0:29:02–0:29:58)===

'''Chris:''' Yeah... but ''anyway'', uh… you came all the way from VCU; uh... you hungry?

'''Emily:''' Oh– no, I'm not hungry. I ate on the way here, really.

'''Chris:''' Oh– you-

'''Emily:''' Stopped at, like, a rest stop. Got some vending m- [''laughs nervously''] vending machine snacks… and that's it.

'''Chris:''' ''Oh.'' That's good. That's good; uh... ''Father'' was thinkin' about, like- was gonna get us ''spaghetti'', and, uh... [''truly flustered''] we wanna sh- we wanna split it be- he was gonna split it between me, and, uh... I'm gonna split mine with you…

'''Emily:''' Oh, no… I'm not hungry. Thank you, though!

'''Chris:''' [weakly] Yeah.

'''Bob:''' We usually split a [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]], 'cause I- I can't eat it all!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''... it's a really big bowl for him…

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Really… ''whoop!''

[''Emily laughs and Chris chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' It's not as big as I'd like… y'know... it's bigger!

'''Emily:''' No… [''giggles'']

'''Chris:''' Let's see… well, Dad– why don't you go get your spaghetti?

'''Bob:''' Do you want some?

'''Emily:''' No. I'm- I'm not hungry. Thank you, though…

'''Chris:''' Yeah... we could get you some ''water''.

'''Emily:''' No– I'm not thirsty, as well.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Okay– well, go ahead and get your sh- go ahead and get the spaghetti, Father.

'''Bob:''' Alright.

===Bob's health problems revisited (0:29:59–0:32:11)===

'''Bob:''' Yeah– I got one other thing I was gonna tell you about…

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh?

'''Bob:''' Since we've talked about it: on that, uh... I've died about five times now. The last time, I was at [[Golden Corral]]. The restaurant?

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh?

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Chris:''' And… my mom was there with him.

'''Bob:''' [''chuckles''] I just… hit the floor!

'''Emily:''' Oh, no!

'''Chris:''' No– not really; uh... he was- uh, he was pullin' out his credit c- not really "hit the floor", but… he was pullin' out his, uh, credit card?

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm?

'''Chris:''' And he would've… hit a- he was standing in front of, like, the cash register, and there was a bar railing there; the bar rail was there. If he- if my mom wasn't there to catch him…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' His- like his guardian angel, he would'a hit the bar and would've been… worse…

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' Would've been worse off!

'''Emily:''' Oh, wow...

'''Bob:''' But anyway, uh, now, I've got a pacemaker.

'''Emily:''' Wow. [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– and ''that's'' when he got his pacemaker.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' I guess that won't happen in, uh...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

[pause]

'''Bob:''' But I- I think the real reason why I survived all those attacks… which I think I'm ''proud'' of…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm?

'''Bob:''' I don't know about you.

'''Chris:''' ''He's'' proud of it.

'''Bob:''' ''I'm'' proud of it. I don't know whether ''he'' is or not.

'''Chris:''' I'm proud of him, for it!

'''Bob:''' But I'm, um- I found out a few years ago- about… 10 or 15 years ago…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm?

'''Bob:''' That I was… at least one-fourth [[Cherokee]]!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– so, that makes me an eighth… Cherokee.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So, I figured that- and then, I checked back all my father's… relatives [unintelligible] all the way up to be up in their 80s, and 90s, and even over ''100'' sometimes.

'''Emily:''' Dang! [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Well, I figured: well, that's why I keep bouncin' back from this.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' This ain't [[September 2011|my time]] yet.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– either that or, uh, God's lettin' him stick around for my… c- for ''my'' case.

'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta look out for him!

'''Emily:''' Oh... [''laughs nervously'']

'''Bob:''' [''cackles'']

'''Chris:''' [''cackles almost identically'']

'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta pay the bills!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously again'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah… okay, Dad, uh... you s- alright, Dad-

'''Bob:''' Now- now, I'm dismissed, so I can go eat.

'''Emily:''' Oh... [''laughs nervously yet again'']

'''Chris:''' Well… not really "dismissed", because… y'know, I'm [[Obesity|a little hungry myself]]… So… [''laughs nervously''] y'know, Dad, please go get the spaghetti and the bread.

'''Bob:''' You sure you don't want something?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I'm sure. Thank you for asking, though.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– y'know, I was concerned, myself.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Well, I'll let you two talk… mainly to save the table…

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah…

'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily''] Then, I'll come back, and… If you don't mind us eatin' in front of you!

'''Emily:''' I don't mind.

[pause]

'''Bob:''' You better tell me more about this club you've got!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

[''Bob walks away'']

===Chris fails at flirting (0:32:12–0:36:48)===

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Yeah– y'know, you- uh... I must say you look ''good''.

'''Emily:''' Oh– thank you!

'''Chris:''' And, y'know, you are the first, uh, female Sonichu fan to have actually come a long distance to see me.

'''Emily:''' Oh– well, it's not that far! I’m sure, like, maybe some of the girls from VCU would come down sometime: like, maybe during s- uh... summer break.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– but I mean, at least all the way from, uh, West Virginia.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' I mean, that’s farther than VCU, I'm sure.

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely''] We might take a road trip down here.

'''Chris:''' [in a sing-song voice] "Take a road trip! It's a little road trip!"

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''does terrifying [[Donald Duck impression]]''] "And this is my [[duck]] talk! This is, uh, Donald Duck!"

'''Emily:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] [almost fearful] Is that the one that scared that child?

'''Chris:''' Uh... at the-

'''Emily:''' At [[Wendy's|Wendy’s]].

'''Chris:''' Uh...

'''Emily:''' I don’t know how that’s scary.

'''Chris:''' No– not- not- no– not- really scary; y'see, he was ''tired''…

'''Emily:''' ''Oh''... okay. So, you…

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' But it makes a lot of children smile, ‘cause they’re familiar with that D- classic Disney character.

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''... you mi- you don’t mind if I t- if I, uh, have my hand on your shoulder?

'''Emily:''' Uh, not for too long…

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] "Not for too long".

'''Emily:''' ''Okay''... not- not for too long…

'''Chris:''' Okay [''incredibly creepily'']...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''chuckles again''] This is like- wow– I finally… get, like, this… beautiful girl in front of me…

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] Thank you.

'''Chris:''' And she's like- and she actually got to know ''me''.

'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Just, like, y'know, uh... Yeah. So… what’s your- what's the reason you need ''your'' [[glasses]] for? I’m ''near-''sighted myself.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I’m nearsighted, as well.

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Emily:''' I don’t have very good eyes.

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] It's like, y'know, [[The Creepy Stare|we’re close, so it's like, y'know, we don’t need glasses to see each other]]…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Do we?

'''Emily:''' Hmm... no– it's still blurry…

'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''... Mmm. How do you look without that hat? I mean, I want- I'd like to see the, uh…

'''Emily:''' I- I like this hat. My hair doesn’t look good today.

'''Chris:''' Oh…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Your hair doesn’t look good today? Are you sure?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I’m sure. [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' How’s my [[hair]] look?

'''Emily:''' It looks good!

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Looks good. [''chuckles''] Boy– I've had it sleepin' against ''pillows''… and I took a [[ShowerRoutine|shower]] before I went- before I went to- um, crashing on the… couch.

'''Emily:''' [slightly disgusted] Oh...

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah– but I put on some, uh, bod- body s- some [[Axe|Axe body spray]] before I left. Do you like that smell?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– it depends on which one it is.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Uh, which one is it?

'''Chris:''' I believe it's, uh... it's called "Proximity".

'''Emily:''' Oh– I ''really'' like the choc- the new chocolate one.

'''Chris:''' Oh– the, uh, "[[Niggos|Dark Temptation]]"…

'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.''

'''Chris:''' Oh– I was running low on that can anyway.

'''Emily:''' Oh... okay.

'''Chris:''' It's like I- if I- if I- if we- if we was [[Third date|hookin' up]], I would've gotten more of that!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

[Note: Chris both stutters ''and'' laughs through "if we was hookin' up", so it's not at all clear that Emily realizes what she's laughing at.]

'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] But seriously, though: you ''are'' cute.

'''Emily:''' Oh– thank you.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Mmm''... Yeah– I like- I like this- I like this- I like the get-up you’re wearing. It's like you're- you c- you straight- came straight from, uh... the, uh, ''[[Wikipedia:Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon|PGSM]]''… show.

'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah... [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' It's the live-action ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I’ve seen some of the episodes for that.

'''Chris:''' I’ve got the entire series-

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Saved to my [[PlayStation 3]], including the, uh, wedding episode.

'''Emily:''' Oh– I don’t… think I’ve… seen that one… so…

'''Chris:''' It's, like, the very- it's, like, a very special ''last'' episode.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' [''in a strange, baby-like voice''] You actually get to see ''[/url?q=http://sailormoon.wikia.com/wiki/Usagi_Tsukino Usagi]''… [''back to his normal voice''] and, uh- aww, shoot– I forget his name, but, y'know...

'''Emily:''' Uh... Mamoru?

'''Chris:''' Yeah– Samoru. That’s it; ''you'' got it.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' You ''got'' it!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' You got it.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I used to be a really big fan of ''Sailor Moon''. Well, I still am; I’m just not as big of a fan as… nowadays.

'''Chris:''' Did you see [''unintelligible''] entire [[anime]] series?

'''Emily:''' Um, I haven’t seen the ''last'' season.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– [[Wikipedia:List of Sailor Moon Sailor Stars episodes|''Sailor Stars'']].

'''Emily:''' ''Yeah''... 'cause it didn’t come out in America, 'cause they’re, like, afraid of the [[Silvana Rosechu|transsexuals]]?

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Yeah.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously'']

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah... Yeah– I kn- I know that. But I ''have'' that on, uh- I have that on ''[[DVD]]''-

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Uh, y'know, with J- Japanese audio and [[English]] subtitles.

'''Emily:''' How do you feel about that? Like, the [[Tomgirl Ppictures|transsexuals]] and… the [[Wikipedia:Sailor Starlights|Sailor Starlights]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Um...

[''pause'']

'''Emily:''' Does it, like, make you uncomfortable, or… would you-

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Emily:''' Would you have minded if, like, it came out, and the TV showed just, like, [[Pedofork|little kids]]?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Um... ''Yeah''... [''pitiful''] I don’t have much of an opinion…

[''Emily and Chris both laugh'']

'''Emily:''' It's kind of a… sketchy subject, there.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– it's, uh- it's… [''in a British accent''] ''itchy''…

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''pause, laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– but you can sketch a lot in your, uh... journalism, don't ya?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. Well, I m- I mean, we don’t draw a lot; we just… We do, like, the little outlines, and then, we start writing.

'''Chris:''' Okay– well, I mean, you- I mean, you sketch your ''letters''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' I bet you sketch your signature pretty… don’t you?

'''Emily:''' No– I thinks it's, uh- it's just basically a buncha' scribbles.

[''Chris and Emily both laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Eh... a lot of people would say that about their signatures, I’m sure.

'''Emily:''' Well, I mean, some people just, like, put an 'X' for their signature, and that’s it.

'''Chris:''' ''Ah''... but not you. You put…

[pause]

'''Emily:''' An 'E' and… an 'S', basically. [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' Uh- uh, an S?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– Emily Schiflett.

'''Chris:''' Oh– ''that’s'' your last name!

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' "Schiflett".

'''Emily:''' Yeah– my middle name’s [[Julie|Jul]][[Kacey|ia]].

'''Chris:''' ''"Julia"!''

'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.''

'''Chris:''' "Emily Julia Schiflett".

'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Flows nicely, doesn’t it?

'''Chris:''' It's beautiful!

'''Emily:''' Aww... thank you.

'''Chris:''' D- do you dot your I in "Julia" with a heart?

'''Emily:''' No... [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles'']

[pause]

===Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)===

[''Bob comes back'']

'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Alright, Dad– uh, I'll let you, uh, divvy up the spaghetti onto my plate.

'''Bob:''' I get to divvy it up!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' Wow! Christian– I don't know… I tell you, my ''treat'' to finally come down here! I love their spaghetti!

'''Emily:''' ''Oh''... really? I don't think- I've only had their pizza there… before…

'''Bob:''' Yeah– the, um- all the spaghetti places in town are [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|too expensive]].

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' My favorite, though, is, um, Olive Garden.

'''Emily:''' ''Oh.''

'''Chris:''' Yeah– b- but-

'''Bob:''' But they don't have one here!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' But they should have one here.

'''Bob:''' ''I'' think they should.

'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah…

'''Chris:''' You ever been to an Olive Garden?

'''Emily:''' Mm-mmm.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Well, yeah– it's a good place to, uh, get, uh, spaghetti.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' I- I've actually- yeah– y'know, I was there with my father… when- the few times we visited, uh, Olive Garden.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– a good place to get, uh, spaghetti; really good. [pause] And also, we've been to the, uh, few, uh, nearly- to the ''other'' nearly [[Speech impediment|esstinct]], uh, restaurants: y'know, like [[wikipedia:Shoney's|Shoney's]] and WesterN SizzliN.

'''Emily:''' Oh– I haven't seen a Shoney's around in a ''while!''

'''Chris:''' There's one in Chesterfield Count- there's a bun—there's a few in the Richmond area…

'''Bob:''' And one over close to VCU!

'''Emily:''' Oh! Really? I didn't see it! [''laughs politely''] Of course, I'm- I'm usually not looking for them, so…

'''Chris:''' Yeah– we even ha- yeah– we even- at- at home, somewhere, we even have a t- we even have the- the [[Lil'Chris|teddy bear]]: the "Shoney Bear".

[pause]

'''Emily:''' The Shoney Bear?

'''Chris:''' Yeah– it's- that was their mascot.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' And I mean, if you look it up- if you look up "Shon"- if you- I'm sure if you Googled "Shoney's", you'd, uh... find their mascot being the teddy-

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Being the bear.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [in a somewhat cutesy voice] "Bein' the bear in the shirt…"

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] "to… wan- to wan- to… gawk- to ''gander'' at!"

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' Christian– they got lots of juice!

[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Well, ''you'' can have it…

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' I don't need to, uh, [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|''slobber'' all over myself]]… Especially in front of my, uh, "[[Gal-pal|lady friend]]", here.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] Aww...

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Bob:''' [[Duck|Do ya need a little bit more?]] [long pause] You can deal ''without''…

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– he doesn't usually eat the bread, so, uh, I'll take his- so, [[Obesity|I take his breadsticks]].

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' I'm gonna go get some more water.

'''Emily:''' Okay!

'''Chris:''' I'll be right back.

[''Chris walks away'']

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] share with him.

'''Emily:''' [laughs politely]

'''Bob:''' I share with my wife. [unintelligible] She had to stay home today.

'''Emily:''' Does she do anything for a living or is she retired as well?

'''Bob:''' She's retired. She used to be a secretary. She worked for uh, General Power.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' You know, our nice power company, whatever they're called now... Dominion?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And uh, she worked for, um,[[Wikipeida:Circuit City Stores|Circuit City]] for a while before she retired.

'''Emily:''' Well good thing she's gone- she got out of Circuit City before they started going downhill.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, well they were going downhill [unintelligible] retired.

'''Emily:''' Oh really?

'''Bob:''' Yeah, [''unintelligible''] got retirement. She didn't retire 'til, a couple- three years ago. She's younger than I am... everybody is!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' But she's younger than I am, but uh [pause] [unintelligible] she uh worked [''Chris comes back''] She loves that band there, over there. I like the band there. She loves that. Grey Street. Grey Street. [''a Dave Matthews Band [[parody|tribute]]'']

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Bob:''' Do you know where Grey Street is over there? Do you uh, Do you know where the Burger King is over there by BP is?

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Yeah.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible, Emily is laughing as he says it'']

'''Bob:''' The [[Burger King]] is on Price Street.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' I-I-I'm an engineer [''unintelligible''] uh, Main, uh, what you would call Main Street.

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Bob:''' VCU is all back in [pause] all back in here like this,

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] and downtown Richmond is this way.

'''Chris:''' [says something about [[Pokémon]]]

'''Bob:''' He loooves Pokémon.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, we used to come down here for the Pokémon League or uh [''unintelligible''] Yeah, I remember that.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Well VCU is-is you is-is here. Well all around in here, they're everywhere, but fifth Avenue is over there.

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Bob:''' And Grey Street is three blocks, all the way through there like this where the lower side of VCU is.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' And they got all their little restaurants and their little stores and things like that and they're all along Grey Street.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' And where his mother lived for about twenty years was right about here... On Grey Street.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Hey, by the way you know I have eaten with uh, chopsticks before.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' See there?

'''Emily:''' That may be kind of hard with a fork and a knife. [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Heh heh heh hey that's close enough.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [laughs]

'''Chris:''' I can't...

'''Bob:''' Yeah, well while we were over there in Richmond.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, are you a little bit [[Ching Chong|Chinese or Asian or Japanese]]?

'''Emily:''' Nuh-uh.

'''Bob:''' I think it's just from wearin' glasses.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, I think it's just the glasses... And the dark hair. [''chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' My best friend over there was Reverend Chen of the Korean Church.

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Chris:''' And this is in Chesterfield County.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' Yeah. And he was from [[Wikipedia:Seoul|Seoul]], Korea, and I was in Seoul for about a year. Went in about the time he was born.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' But he was my best friend over there, and I used to spend talking with and talking to. Because he was really interested in the world.

'''Emily:''' Mmhm.

'''Bob:''' And I'm really world oriented, and my favorite institution is the United Nations.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' I think they're the answer to everything we got in this world... but... [''delayed pause''] We went to the Korean church while we were over there in Chesterfield County when he was in school. I tell you, that's where picked up the chopsticks.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' [Starts talking but is cut off by Chris.]

'''Chris:''' They gave me, they gave me [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|my Bible]] that I used in my Sundays- days... when I graduated from [[High School]].

'''Emily:''' Is it part, like, in the other language? Or-

'''Bob''' and '''Chris:''' No.

'''Emily:''' Uh, only English, okay. I know there's some that have like two different languages in it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a [[Honor roll|King England- It's a King England Bible]].

'''Bob:''' And what they do in the Church, they-they [trails off quietly]

'''Chris:''' King's English, whatever it is.

'''Bob:''' [''still quiet, hard to hear''] ...Korean.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' It's all Korean language, except for a few of 'em. And then they had like, a wireless [''unintelligible''], those little earphones, where you could hear the translation.

'''Emily:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' It was kind of neat, I-I enjoyed it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, everybody was able to bring their own food and we'd get to sample it for uh-, and we'd get to have a nice lunch meal every Sunday there.

'''Bob:''' [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] You like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|spicy food]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I like- I like spicy.

'''Bob:''' What I was gonna say, uh, [[Wikipedia:Kimchi|kimchi]].

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Yeah. Go away, you know?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Too spicy for you?

'''Bob:''' Yeah, it's too spicy for me.

'''Chris:''' [''sounding it out''] Kim-chi, hm.

'''Bob:''' But, uh, like they told me if anything that's red, forget it.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' Except your spaghetti sauce, right Dad?

'''Bob:''' They didn't have spaghetti sauce, no they watched that to me, they gave me that more bland stuff.

'''Emily:''' Oh. [''chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' I even-I-I-I even had my own special [[pedofork|fork]].

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' If it was me I can handle spicy, seriously, I can even probably even [[Pedofork|handle the kid-the kid-]] the kimchi, what he said.

'''Bob:''' That's- that's-

'''Emily:''' I can't handle spicy food that well, it upsets my stomach.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Bob:''' I like jalapeño a little bit

'''Emily:''' [chuckles]

'''Bob:''' -a little jalapeño. I love [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Hah, yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''something more about jalapeños, followed by silence''] Yeah, they told me anything that was red, don't pick it up.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [laughs politely]

[silence]

===Bob on World News (0:44:47–0:51:00)===

'''Bob:''' Yeah, I miss Reverend Chen, he was- he was really interested in learning about the world.

'''Emily:''' Mhm.

'''Bob:''' And he didn't have much of a chance-[''hard to hear''] and we- we'd sit there and talk, at [[McDonald's]]-

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' every morning, for 2 to 3 hours, and just go through ''[[Wikipedia:The Washington Post|The Washington Post]]'', page by page, you know, just learning about the world

'''Emily:''' Good. I wish I could, like, pick up the newspaper and read more. I mean I pick up, like, our [[:File:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|school newspaper]] and that's about it, but I mean when it comes to world events I read some of the articles, but I mean some of them I just can't get into.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, it's a new thing on TV.

'''Emily:''' Mhm?

'''Bob:''' At least we have it here on Comcast... I don't know what you have though.

'''Emily:''' I'm not sure what-

'''Bob:''' Over there.

'''Emily:''' I'm not sure what-

'''Bob:''' But, it's a program on public television, it's really a station here, we have three different stations, [''unintelligible''] and one of them's called World News. [''says call sign''], World News.

'''Emily:''' I don't think we have that.

'''Bob:''' And, they uh-they have uh English translations of everything on it, but they have programs that originate all over the world. [unintelligible] So you see how [[Molvania|the rest of the world]] looks at [[United States of America|the U.S.]]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So you see what they're saying about us and what's going on over there. Half the time I find out things that are happening in the United States, that somebody in Germany or [[Molvania|Russia]] or [[China]] or in [[Anime|Japan]]-

'''Emily:''' [laughs] That's always nice.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, that's one of my my favorite stations, and they have it here. I-it's a public radio sponsored thing, but it's called World View.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' W.V.

'''Emily:''' I think my school has that, I'm not sure, I might have not never noticed or anything like that.

'''Bob:''' Well they might have it, because it's very educational.

'''Emily:''' I like watching Discovery Channel.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, I watch Discovery, and World Discovery Science, and World History, and-

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Yeah there's lots to see on TV. In fact, uh, I can give you a tip that you can pass along. Christian thought of it. He came up with it, believe it or not. He taught himself to read.

'''Emily:''' Really?

'''Bob:''' Oh he could really read, by turning on the closed captions on the TV.

'''Emily:''' Wow, that's-

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' That's go-that's clever!

'''Bob:''' I keep telling everybody I know including all these learning Ph.D.'s, and psychologists,

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And everybody, you know [''unintelligible''] you got a kid that's [[Autism|all wired up]], [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh?

'''Bob:''' Turn on the closed captions, [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] and they learn how to read!

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Bob:'''But they won't listen to me, I'm just an 81 year old fogey!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' But he came up with-

'''Emily:''' But you know they'll come up with it and someone else will take the credit for it later on.

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] I don't think it really matters, but he came up with it

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

[Bob fades into background noise]

'''Bob:''' ...I thought it was such a phenomenally good idea. [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Well he-he's got a photographic memory.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' But I think those were the [[autism]] a little bit.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' And I got an audio memory too. [''apparently they were talking about him'']

'''Bob:''' Cause he can, you ever heard of, um ''Mario World''?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [chuckles]

'''Chris:''' [''chimes in to correct, [[Autism|sounds a bit upset]]''] He's talking about ''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario World|Super Mario World]]''.

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Well in three days, he-he [''unintelligible stuttering''] killed [[Wikipedia:Bowser|King Koopa]]. I can't get off of ''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi's Island|Yoshi's Island]]''.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] I'm not very good at those games either. [''more laughing'']

'''Bob:''' The reason he is, is cause he can remember all those different moves.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' It's like taking a picture, [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] I reckon I wanna know about that.

'''Chris:''' I'll tell you one thing, you've got pretty face. [''not a mistake'']

'''Emily:''' Aww, thank you.

'''Bob:''' She looks like [[Wikipedia:Marcie|Margie]], doesn't she?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Bob:''' She looks like Margie.

'''Chris:''' What you mean the ''[[Peanuts]]'' character Margie?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' You know Margie?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs again'']

'''Chris:''' Uh...no. [''cuts off Bob with more laughter from Emily''] No, I'd say if anything she uh, wait a minute I'm trying to...I'm trying to figure it out. Um...

'''Bob:''' She doesn't look like Peppermint Patty.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'd say, uh, you compare when-when tied up there, you look more like, uh Rei from PGSM.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, [pause] she's one of my favorite characters.

'''Chris:''' You like [[Wikipedia:Sailor Mars|Sailor Mars]], [''lame voice''] Flame Sniper!

[pause]

'''Emily:''' Who's your favorite character?

'''Chris:''' Um, with the exception of uh Usagi and [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Chibi-Usa]]. I like, uh, Ami.

'''Emily:''' Any particular reason, like?

'''Chris:''' [chuckle] Well, I don't know it's just like you know

'''Emily:''' Cause she's smart?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' And uh also, I think it's, I think also it's the blue hair, I'm not sure.

'''Emily:''' Do you like blue?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, blue is my favorite color, what's your favorite color?

'''Emily:''' I like [[Pickle|green]].

'''Chris:''' You like green. I guess you like Jupiter.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, sort of. [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [''apparently doing a horrendous impression of [[Wikipedia:Sailor Jupiter|Sailor Jupiter]]''] Jupi-tahhh!

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' [clears throat] [to Bob]You know, if you uhh, if uhh, you moved, uh, the car, you'd- you'd be all right by yourself at this point, right?

'''Bob:''' I been takin' care of myself for eighty-one years!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Aww.

'''Chris:''' I mean, it's like, uhh you know, if you, uhh, don't feel like sitting around any more, we can go, uhh, walk and talk.

'''Emily:''' I don't want to leave him by himself. I mean...

'''Chris:''' He's all right.

'''Emily:''' Will you be here at the mall very much longer, or...

'''Bob:''' I dunno.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' Well, if he's here by the time we get back, he'll be here for that much longer.

'''Emily:''' OK...

'''Bob:''' I can stick around, but I'm slow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's slow.

'''Bob:''' I like to eat slow, [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|I don't gobble my food]] [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

===The Bear Band (0:51:01–0:55:23)===

'''Bob:''' -enjoy it, savor it-

'''Chris:''' You know I taste my food and savor it as well. At least my first bite.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs''] [''unintelligible''] Even faster than you!

'''Bob:''' After that it's [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah but by the way, you know it's on one of my shirts. It's on [[Chris and fashion|my favorite]] shirt, you know, the one I draw myself in often.

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I felt it was appropriate for uh, being my first female [[Sonichu]] fan...

'''Emily:''' [''interrupts with a laugh''] Thank you.

'''Chris:''' ... have come a long distance.

'''Emily:''' Thank you. Anyway, where do you want to walk off to?

'''Chris:''' Uh, you know, uh, anywhere in the mall.

'''Bob:''' All those exciting things around the mall.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, doesn't look... [[Duck|it's not very big]]. [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' You're right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I have. I wish it was two story, like Regency Square.

'''Emily:''' Where's that?

'''Chris:''' It's in Chest'field County.

'''Bob:''' No, it's not in [''???'']...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs over Bob'']

'''Bob:''' ...County. It's close [''inaudible''] It's across the river.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

{{anchor|Christopher}}
'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] ...That's that big shopping center over in north, north-west side of Richmond.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. I've never heard of it.

[[File:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|right|thumb|Regency Square Bear Band]]

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and it has a Bear Band there... that's uh, where I got...that's where I learned about "Christian" and got my name changed from "Christopher" to "Christian."

'''Bob:''' How come none of your fans know about it?

'''Chris:''' For one I didn't share it arou- didn't talk about it very much.

'''Bob:''' When he was born... I was too chicken to name him "Christian."

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Wow.

'''Bob:''' I was too... so I named him "Christopher."

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' But I really wanted to name him "Christian."

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And so, when he was... what? Seven or eight years old...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' ...we were over at Regency Square...

'''Chris:''' Yeah I think his photo...

'''Bob:''' ...at [[Christmas]] time. And they had this automated Bear Band.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Like... they had bear characters that were playing instruments, and one of them was conducting and singing.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And...but underneath there was this old man fella talking, and he had a camera, so he could see who he was talking to. And he [''inaudible''] talking to the Bear.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] was British...had a British accent anyway. But he was talking to Christopher. And he asked Chris-he asked uh, Chris his name. He said "Christopher," but he misunderstood.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And he thought he said Christian.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' So he started calling him Christian.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Over there... at the mall.

'''Emily:''' Mm.

'''Bob:''' Guess he liked that, and uh, so later we got- later we got... later we did all the paperwork.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Made it official, changed it from-from "Christopher" to "Christian."

'''Emily:''' Well at least he got the name that you wanted to give him.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, yeah I know. But...and then Christian came along with later and confided in me like he does sometimes...

'''Emily:''' [awkward laugh]

'''Bob:''' ...sometimes, that he had so much- too many [[stress|problems]] here in [[Greene County]], north of here where we live.

[loud cough, probably Chris]

'''Bob:''' It's a little small county 'n rural. Got... maybe 10,000 people in there.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' It's about ten... yeah, about ten miles up the road.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' And, uh... he had so much trouble over the school system there. They tried to put him in an institution for years. For years I fought 'em in court.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And I kept winning and winning and winning, but finally I took him to Richmond to go to school...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' ...to get him away from...them.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And I spent seven years over there with him in a townhouse while his mother was working over here.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' But, um...anyway, he confided in me one day after we changed his name.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' He was all, "I really wanted to change my name to uh, to be a Christian as a new life in Chesterfield County...

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' We left Christopher over there with those people in Greene County.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but then here's the [unintelligible] I thought...I real-I realized, uh, later after we came back to our [[Ruckersville]] home here.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' Uh...yeah, um...after we came back I started hearing Christopher, like you know, Christopher Thorndyke from ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]]'', at least.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' It's like... it's like- like you know...at the same time it's like th-those...it's like the past spirit of Christopher saying [''high-pitched voice''] "You should change your name!"

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Anyway, we're still... we're still back in the same house, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] programmed... I had an interesting life...

'''Emily:''' I don't know.

===Chris's card game history (0:55:24–0:59:24)===

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] Now I can play around... [''Chris talks over him'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Well actually, uh, also you know, [''inaudible; possibly 'brace yourself for the history of how it originally started'.''] [coughs] In Chesterfield County in 1998.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' In the February [[1998|'98]] issue of ''[[Nintendo Power]]'', uh... they had the p- the had the uh, they had the Char- they had the Charmeleon Pokémon card from the first base set.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Two months...yeah, like a month or two after that, over by the [[Books-A-Million]] I signed up for the Pok... I uh, with...uh...within that time I uh learned to play the game after I picked up some cards from the deck. Then I went to the Poké- I started going to the Pokémon league over there, at the Books-a-Million.

'''Bob or possibly a bystander:''' Oh my god.

'''Chris:''' Then we moved back to Ruckersville, uh, been around, uh, went to Pokemon League over at, uh, [[Toys|Toys "R" Us]], then uh [''inaudible, sounds like "The End".'], and uh, finally over at [[The Game Place|The, uh, Game Place]].

'''Bob:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' But then they [[Banned|kicked me out]], uh, last... June of last year.

'''Emily:''' Was that at the Toys "R" Us or, uh, the End...?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they don't...they don't do that anymore [''unintelligible''].

'''Emily:''' You could always, like, go back to those places, I mean, maybe they've...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' ...got other [[card games]] that you can play.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well [clears throat] I think why- also why one of the reasons why I decided to go back to playing ''[[Eye of Judgment]]''.

'''Emily:''' Mm.

'''Chris:''' I'm going to the online tournament that's like starting today.

'''Emily:''' Are you gonna...are you joining? Or...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's basically all I have to do is go online and play against...

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' ...oh... uh... against opponents like around the world.

'''Emily:''' Oh. Nothing hard. [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' You play him, you'll probably win.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, if I get... if I get within the top 100 I win the free promo cards they're off- offering.

'''Emily:''' Uh, what do you... what do you get if you win like first place, do you know?

'''Chris:''' A title.

'''Emily:''' A title? [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Yep. A title. If I don't go-

'''Emily:''' Why don't-no money or anything like that?

'''Chris:''' No, but...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' ...you know, at least I get the free promo cards.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' And I'd-I'd just as soon get the cards than the title, but if I get the title, then that's just plain dumb luck right?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Like [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|that one time]] you won what, $500 worth of stuff?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I-

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, uh, four hunnerdollar gamecar- [[GameStop]] gift card from that ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' gift card.

'''Emily:''' Oh yeah! I voted for you.

'''Chris:''' Thank you.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] You're welcome.

'''Bob:''' But he won.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I shared it with my church's congre-my church congregation.

'''Emily:''' Well what did you spend your portion... did you spend some of it on yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, I spent it on myself. I got some [[Wii]] games for myself, ''Country Music'' and ''[[RuleCWC|Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess]]''.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, you were popular at the church.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' You gave...you gave about 10 or 15 games away, right?

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, it wasn't-it wasn't like 10 or 15, I'd say it's more like, uh, five or eight.

'''Emily:''' Five or eight.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but you know the top three, you know, the uh... three of the children over there, they uh, they requested from me, they appre-they appreciated it so much they gave me... made this little tree for me and little ah-ah-ah branches...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' And put like the... they put like fun little ornaments, like you know, like you know twist-tie- you know, twist-ties...

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' ...and the uh... shoot, what is it?... pipe cleaner.

'''Emily:''' Mm. Oh.

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] pipe cleaner, paper butterflies, pa-paper hearts and pa- uh, used paper clips...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' ...and wrote their names on the... on the card there. It was... a nice little gesture.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' For, you know, appreciation and the fact that I was shar-

'''Emily:''' Yeah, that was very nice for you to do that and for them to thank you like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' How about sending me a copy of your publication... of your [[Sonichu Girls]]?

'''Emily:''' What was that again?

'''Bob:''' About sending me a copy.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' I might join. I guess I'd have to change my...

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' -[[Tomgirl|gender]], wouldn't I?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' How would you feel about your dad being a Sonichu Girl?

'''Chris:''' Now...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' He could be a... he could be an honorary Sonichu Guy.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' How about that?

'''Emily:''' Yeah, that'll work.

'''Bob:''' You gotta tell me what's going on.

'''Emily:''' You don't know what's going on.

'''Chris:''' [laughs]

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' It's basically girl chatter amongst the four of us, right?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

===Girls (0:59:26–1:05:21)===

'''Chris:''' I-I like to see the girls talk. I listened to girls talk a lot back in high school because I have my wide circle of [[gal-pal]]s...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' ...between my high-school years and also my elementary-school years. And also I didn't live my young life. In my neighborhood I was pretty much the only guy in the neighborhood.

'''Emily:''' [laughs] Well then, lucky for you.

'''Chris:''' [laughs]

'''Emily:''' [[JERKS|All the other guys]] are jealous.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Bob:''' My favorite girl, I guess, on the TV – aside from your mother, who's not on TV – my favorite girl.

'''Chris:''' [[Wikipedia:Shirley Temple|Shirley Temple]]?

'''Bob:''' No, that was back when I was a kid [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but [[Pedofork|you do like Shirley Temple a lot]].

'''Bob:''' And uh, uh this is one that's on uh... MSNBC if you watch that. On the NBC Money channel.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Name is [[Wikipedia:Erin Burnett|Erin Burnett]]. She is a smart girl. She hosts a lot of it. She's been...already been to Russia and Asia already. She must be...no more than 25? She is very smart. She impresses me, she's a really smart girl. Not a brunette, [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' I don't know about [''inaudible'']. [[Kacey|Flakey blondes]].

'''Emily:''' Do you like blondes?

'''Chris:''' I like blondes. But, you know, it's so... [[Women's rights|that's so stereotypical]]...

'''Bob:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' ...to call 'em flakey cause they're not all flakey.

'''Bob:''' No, they're not. No way.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' Like you know [[Pamela Anderson]] is very smart.

'''Emily:''' Yeah... [laughs]

'''Chris:''' ...just to name one at least. She wrote the book, ''Star''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [[Wikipedia:Paris Hilton|Paris Hilton]] also wrote a book, too.

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Emily:''' Have you ever read that?

'''Chris:''' No I no-I haven't even heard of it.

'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah. She wrote her own book.

'''Chris:''' That's cool. [''pause''] I think Britney Spears wrote a book too, didn't she?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [[Britney Spears]] is really smart. Even though people like, diss her blah blah blah saying, but she's pretty intelligent.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So anyway, there you go. Three blondes, right there, that are sexified [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm... I guess that's why he would be uh, he would-it's one reason he was attracted to my mom, is she reminds him of Marcie, you know?

'''Bob:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' I guess she kind of turned him off being Marcie-ish,

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' being a Marcie type yourself. I mean...

'''Bob:''' She looked like [[Wikipedia:Elizabeth Taylor|Liz Taylor]] then.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Everybody thought she was Liz Taylor.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. By the way, uh Emily, how old did you say you were again?

'''Emily:''' I'm nineteen.

'''Chris:''' Nineteen.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' OK.

'''Emily:''' I started hi- I started college.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you started college as a journalist.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. Something I'd like- I don't want to really, you know, go for a degree where, you know, I won't be happy with it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] No, you keep writing...

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Then you look at it, and put it down for a day or two.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Then you decide [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' There's a... in my creative writing class what we do sometimes is that we write one line each day for a story, and just, every day we just write a different line, and eventually like after maybe a month or two, you know, it's supposed to be a story.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] But then, you pick it up and lay it down, you pick it up and look at it again...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' ...and each time you little minute corrections.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Mild corrections. But that's the way to do it. And if you don't try, you don't-you don't gain nothing [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' You gotta keep trying. You know, you don't give up... who knows, some crazy bear might come along and call you "Christian."

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [''laughs''] What?

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] silly bear might come along and call you "Christian," right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] No, I don't think so. I don't think a-I don't think a British bear could confuse "Emily"...

'''Emily:''' Yeah. I don't-there's no other name that really sounds like Emily.

'''Bob:''' [inaudible] there was a writer named [[Wikipedia:Emily Dickinson|Emily]].

'''Chris:''' [[Virgin with rage|Emily Dickinson]]?

'''Bob:''' Yeah, Emily Dickinson.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I couldn't even remember...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|I just slipped]]- [[Semen|it just came up]]. That was the only Emily I could think of who was a writer at the time.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' There's probably a lot of Emilys I'm sure.

'''Bob:''' His mother keeps tellin' me- [''Chris talks over him'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' His mother keeps tellin' me I got more dibs though [''unintelligible''].

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Emily Julia Schifflet.

'''Emily:''' Yep.

'''Chris:''' That's her full name, Dad.

'''Bob:''' Is it Schifflet?

'''Chris''' and '''Emily''' simultaneously: Yep.

'''Bob:''' Well now I want you to know something. If you were in Greene County, they'd welcome you with open arms.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Because Schifflet... and what's the other name up there? Uh, two- two names basically in Greene County. One of 'em's Schifflet, and... Marks, is the other one

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And it was Marks, or Schifflet your native tongue.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Betcha got lotsa relatives up there and don't even know it.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, I have a lot of, um, a lot of family, but I don't know most of them. I stick with my parents and maybe a few aunts.

'''Bob:''' Where do they live?

'''Emily:''' What was that again?

'''Bob:''' Well, where do your parents live?

'''Emily:''' Oh, they live up in West Virginia too. They moved up there as well.

'''Bob:''' They moved up there.

'''Emily:''' Mhm.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] wild wonderful weather.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, they don't have...they-they wanna let me go on my own, really. [''pause''] [''Chris talks over her'']

'''Chris:''' You took a big step.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I don't trust them, either.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] we've been to a lot of parks. I keep telling him now that he's young and I'm old, and why don't he take me to [[McIntire Park|the park]]?

'''Emily:''' Oh!

'''Bob:''' He-he won't do it.

'''Emily:''' [''clears throat'']

'''Chris:''' Listen to him.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I think it ought to be ['inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Do you agree with that?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' I spent twenty-seven years of my life with you, why can't you spend twenty-seven years of your life with me?

===Basketball and a fateful trip (1:05:23–1:14:22)===

'''Chris:''' Because, [unintelligible]

'''Bob:''' I'm not gonna live that long, I know.

'''Emily:''' [awkward laugh]

'''Bob:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' I spend time with you, Dad. Like I spend time with you now when you [''inaudible''] wanted to meet Emily. Before uh, you know, when you leave, uh, leave-leave us alone and let us do our talking.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] go home and watch some [[Bionic|basketball]].

'''Emily:''' That's something to do right there.

'''Bob:''' Yeah. And I'll see what's goin' on...[''inaudible''] the [[Wikipedia:National Collegiate Athletic Association|NCAA]].

'''Emily:''' I don't watch a lot of sports, really.

'''Bob:''' [inaudible] You don't watch [inaudible]?

'''Emily:''' I don't really watch sports. I mean, I sometimes will with some of my friends, but I can't really get into it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and I was actually a manager-slash-waterboy in my freshman year of Man-at [[Manchester High School]]'s varsity basketball team.

'''Emily:''' Were you good at it? Did you say you were- you played basketball?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, a little bit.

'''Emily:''' Are you good?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm fair.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' But, you know I was...I-pl-...y-you know my freshman year I manager and waterboy for the varsity basketball team.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

[''P.A. system faintly in background'']

'''Bob:''' Good, cause I think I'm gonna go home.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Alright, dad, well you have a safe trip.

'''Bob:''' You can do whatever you want, I guess.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Bob:''' Whatever time Emily wants to spend with you.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, I can't stay too much longer. I have to get going back to co-

'''Bob:''' Headin' back to West Virginia tonight?

'''Emily:''' Yep.

'''Bob:''' You are, huh? What is the drive... four-hour, five-hour drive?

'''Emily:''' About five-hour drive.

'''Bob:''' I'm a little too old for that.

'''Emily:''' [''short laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, especially since I was young [''unintelligible''] the eight-hour round trip total drive.

{{anchor|Cleveland}}
'''Bob:''' He-he drove to Cleveland and back on the same day.

'''Emily:''' I...vaguely heard about that. What-what happened?

'''Bob:''' He got stupid and drove up there to try to meet [[Julie|somebody]] and they weren't there. He took off and we didn't even know about it.

'''Chris:''' No, I left them a note.

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK.

'''Bob:''' But, uh, he got up there and got back, same day. I can't imagine driving... I can't even fly to Cleveland and fly back in the same day.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Di-did you have a good drive at least? Was it...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' ...relaxing a little bit?

'''Chris:''' Yeah [''inaudible'']

'''Bob:''' Well, if you went-he went up from here over to pick up the Interstate 81, and he went up and picked up the Pennsylvania Turnpike...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' ...and he went up and picked up the Ohio Turnpike... and locked himself out of his car.

'''Chris:''' Uh...

'''Emily:''' How did you lock yourself out of your car?

'''Chris:''' I [''inaudible''] my keys in there at the t-toll booth.

'''Emily:''' Oh? How did you get them out? You had to call like the locksmith or something?

'''Chris:''' Uh, fortunately, uh, one of the uh, people at-people over at that toll booth had [[Wikipedia:American Automobile Association|AAA]].

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK. So they were able to help you out.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] mother [''inaudible''] cross the street [''inaudible''] here he is at the Ohio state line.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' W-we didn't sleep very well that day.

'''Emily:''' I can imagine.

'''Bob:''' Finally he got home, about three o'clock in the morning, and he left at, what...

'''Chris:''' Five-thirty.

'''Bob:''' Six o-Six o'clock in the morning?

'''Chris:''' Five-thirty.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] find anybody till we came back.

'''Chris:''' Well, at least I didn't get killed.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. I think I [''inaudible'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] We were worried about that.

'''Emily:''' Hm-

'''Chris:''' I had money for gas and food.

'''Bob:''' He's never driven over fifty miles out of town before.

'''Chris:''' Well that was an adventure for me.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Bet that was an experience.

'''Chris:''' Yep. But I had my [[PSP]] with me to play uh, music on the trip. I had a novel with uh, long driving. Recently [''unintelligible''] paradise.

'''Bob:''' Fortunately, he was checking in with us on his cell phone, every once in a while so we could [''inaudible''] [[money]]...

'''Emily:''' Oh, so you knew he was going to O-Ohio.

'''Bob:''' He left us a note.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' ...detailed note.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' With maps and everything.

'''Chris:''' A copy of the map...

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' ...I got from Mapquest.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] he left [inaudible] when he left home he had about ten dollars in his pocket.

'''Chris:''' No, I had-I had forty.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' I had forty dollars. I had forty dollars plus ten dollars in my pocket. Forty dollars came from my birthday money.

'''Bob:''' That wouldn't even-that wouldn't even take care of the toll [''inaudible''] turnpike.

'''Chris:''' I didn't expect that toll to be eleven dollars.

'''Bob:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' Really? Eleven dollars for a toll booth?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Th-th-they give you a card at one checkpoint, then when you get to the next checkpoint, depending on the distance-depending on uh, how far it was from that checkpoint...

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK.

'''Chris:''' ...from one tollbooth to the next.

'''Bob:''' Wherever you get off, then you gotta pay.

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK.

'''Bob:''' You'd never been-never been on a toll road before.

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [''unintelligible''] for a toll booth with about a dollar. [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Well you can get on and fill it out, and drive all the way to the Ohio line.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Pittsburgh. I guess they charge you twenty, twenty-five dollars for that.

'''Emily:''' Dang.

'''Bob:''' But he got on in the middle, in a place called [[Wikipedia:Breezewood, Pennsylvania|Breezewood]].

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' You've probably heard of Breezewood. It's up there... just-just northeast of uh, West Virginia.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' And, uh, yeah and you go to Breezewood and hang a left. I thought he-I thought he was up here in the valley.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' Couple hundred miles away and then he was at the Ohio state line.

'''Emily:''' [''short laugh'']

'''Bob:''' That was some day for us. We were a little worried. Then he-then he started back. We were led to believe that he was about three hundred -about two hundred miles away.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Turns out he was just outside of Ohio, Cleveland, when he called.

'''Emily:''' At least you were able to get back safely.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Bob:''' I don't know how he did it. Three o'clock in the morning, I'd have been numb. I wouldn't have been able to.

'''Chris:''' [''laughs'']

'''Emily:''' [''inaudible''] at night.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well I got bet-I got [[Pedo-Glasses|better eyesight]] than he does.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] mine keeps going downhill [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Thing called old age and [[David Alan Chandler|glaucoma]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, plus consi-plus considering [[video games]]... training, a lot of video game time I've logged in over my lifetime.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' And uh, see going through the many types of, like, games, playing [[ModNation Racers|racing]], and RPG...

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' ...and all, and the [[Sonichu Adventure|adventures]] and all that...

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' But it's like, it's only helpful when you have the directions from Mapquest, and uh, you can uh, find a world map of the uh, east-of the we-of the eastern coast of the United States.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' Which is really Virginia. And uh, Ohio in the road I was- the route I was taking, it was directed from that

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Which I highlighted with a blue marker.

'''Bob:''' I have to admit, I did something just about as dumb when I was a kid.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Oh, you did something dumb?

'''Bob:''' Yeah I did. Well, I'd already been to Korea and back. When I was in Korea, like I said, before the Korean War.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And I'd always spent my time with the army, well I was in school.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And I had a friend that was in Auburn, down in Alabama, way down there, you know.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And um, I had a friend [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' ...in the Army. So, [[Christmas]] break, Christmas time, right. I didn't have anywhere to go. I decided to hitchhike.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Yeah. While I was in the Army, I spent nine months in New York anyway.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] Fort [''???''] [''inaudible''] and I'd gone up to New York City every weekend. But, for about nine months, well I knew the place like the back of my hand.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' No wonder I was risky enough to take a- I was adventurous enough to take such a trip.

'''Bob:''' Uh-

'''Chris:''' I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Yeah, so dumb me, I thought I could hitchhike to-to [[Clyde Cash|New Jersey]]...now this was like the middle of December.

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Warm in Alabama but not in New Jersey.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' I got there, and then I had to stay a couple weeks-

'''Chris:''' [''interrupting''] And by the way you know

'''Bob:''' -then I ran out of money-

'''Chris:''' You know that-

'''Bob:''' -and then I had to try to-

'''Chris:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Bob:''' -find-to fi-to get back to my way home.

'''Chris:''' Just to let you know, uh, went up to Cleveland, [inaudible] kind of like, uh, run down. I thought, Jersey probably looks better.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' By comparison.

'''Bob:''' I've done [[Barbara|dumb things]] too.

'''Chris:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' There you go.

'''Chris:''' He went to a bad town...he went to a bad slummy town called Jersey, I went to a bad slummy town called Cleveland.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Well I've been to Cleveland too, I know Cleveland well.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' I me-I me-I mean he took the stupid long trip to Jersey, I took the stupid long trip to see Cleveland.

'''Bob:''' And I was hitchhiking and you were in the car. It was different. It used to be safe to walk.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' And you can't even hitchhike places today.

'''Emily:''' Nowadays you can't do that.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] down the road.

'''Emily:''' Yeah [''unintelligible''] [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Well, I'll see you later. You have a good trip.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Emily:''' Alright.

'''Bob:''' Don't go to sleep. If you get sleepy, pull over.

'''Emily:''' OK, don't worry, I will.

===A walk to remember (1:14:23–1:21:43)===

Chris and Emily awkwardly leave Bob who continues to ramble as they clomp off through the mall.

'''Bob:''' Take care.

'''Chris:''' Alright come on, Emily, let's, let's walk…

Bob babbles on about sending something.

'''Emily:''' Okay... okay, you can show me around the mall…

'''Chris:''' Okay! Here's our… heights… You… you come to just about my uh, eyeline.

'''Emily:''' [nervous tittering]

They walk quietly for a moment as Chris mutters something quietly.

'''Chris:''' [sigh] So where you li… where do you usually like to go shopping at when you're at a shopping center?

'''Emily:''' [''impatiently''] [[Rosechu|Clothes stores]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, they have a number of clothing stores in, uh...

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' …a J.C. Penney and a Sears, among other places that uh, more name brands…

'''Emily:''' Yeah a lot of the stores here are, if you take a look, take a look at the prices and they're pretty expensive.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... Yeah... but, you know, they used to ha- they used to have a KB [[Toys]] here and I- that's where I got my- turns out- [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes |my thousand dollar shopping spree]] I won around the… around the Adventures- the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog…

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' That sweepstakes, you might remember I put something about that…

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' …you might remember that, uh, news clip…

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [[DVD|I've seen-I've seen it.]]

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

''Chris nervously takes a few steps.''

'''Chris:''' Wow... you're like… I'm sorry.

'''Emily:''' [''nervous laughter'']

'''Chris:''' I'm just kinda fascinated like… you're just like…just like a character from ''PGSM'' or somebody else came all the way from Japan- just leapt out of my television!

'''Emily:''' [nervous laughter] No I'm definitely all American.

'''Chris:''' You're all American.

'''Emily:''' I'm all American.

'''Chris:''' Okay- so it's just- it's just your eyes that are deshe- [[Chris and English|decepting]].

'''Emily:''' [shameless subject change] Yeah... so what's your favorite store here?

'''Chris:''' Yeah it's, it's- currently, since they took away the toy store- uh- either- I think it's- I would say it's mostly GameStop, but I also go to the bookstore or Sears, or even the Spencer's that's down on the other side of the mall. And they used to have an FYE here, which was a Suncoast before- before it- before they all merged and became an FYE, but then they closed that to make the next business here.

'''Emily:''' What's down the other way… cause I've been… I came down this way, but I haven't been down that way.

'''Chris:''' Okay, we'll go down that way! Alright. I hope- Hope you don't mind me sticking around your left side…

'''Emily:''' [''bravely''] Oh that's [laughs] Okay, that's fine!

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] [[Megan|I mean, I guess I should keep my hands to myself and behave, right?]]

'''Emily:''' Yeah, you should probably do that.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.

'''Emily:''' [''nervous laughter'']

'''Chris:''' [[Megan|But, you know, not- but you know- respectful- touch you gently on the shoulder or the back-]]

'''Emily:''' [''vomitously''] Yeah…

'''Chris:''' I mean at least I'm not that guy from ''[[Anime|InuYasha]]'' that… [''chucklingly''] always tries to [[Homos|go for the bum]].

'''Emily:''' [''vomitously''] Yeah…

'''Chris:''' Heh-heh, that's funny. Always get slapped in the face, he does.

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' I forget his name, I think it's Mamoru, or something like that.

'''Emily:''' Uh... it's [[Wikipedia:List of InuYasha characters#Miroku|Miroku]].

'''Chris:''' [talking over her] Do you watch ''InuYasha''? Yeah, Miroku, that was it, you hi- you actually hit it on the head right there…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

[''Emily awkwardly walks several steps.'']

'''Emily:''' [delaying] Is that the… food court there?

'''Chris:''' Yeah that's basically the food court.

'''Emily:''' OK...

'''Chris:''' Yeah it use- it used to have McDonald's here-

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' …soooo many years ago across from the GameStop there, back when it was called Babbage's…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' And then between them and Suncoast was FuncoLand and Software Etc. and they all merged into a Ga- they all merged into GameStop.

'''Emily:''' Oh... never heard about that…

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I'm sh- I'm sh- I'm sure you must've at least noticed those game stores back in your youth-

'''Emily:''' Yeah... I play video games sometimes, but not very often…

'''Salesman:''' HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE HARAAGARALABHGH.

'''Emily:''' Oh, no thank you!

'''Chris:''' No thank you! Yeah... right over- see- where that PacSun, that's where PacSun used to be, where [[Anna McLerran]]-

'''Emily:''' Oh yeah... I've… I've heard of her as well…

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Emily:''' Is she still around?

'''Chris:''' No she, uh- moved to uh, Utah.

'''Emily:''' Utah…

'''Chris:''' She's a Mormon. Found that out after I met her. But we cam- but we- but we could became good friends and I gave her, uh, you know, gave her a going away/birthday party before she left for Utah…

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh!

'''Chris:''' For her twentieth birthday… and actually her- actual- and actually her friends, uh, her friends and I got together and put together the party. [''emphatically''] I k- I bought the cake.

'''Emily:''' Oh, that's nice of you… and… there was also Megan. Do you still keep in contact with her?

'''Chris:''' Yeah uh... no, not-no-n-n-not-been-touch with her for a long time.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' That's cause she moved to another state.

'''Emily:''' Oh... did she move to Utah too?

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, I don't think she moved to Utah, I don't even remember where she moved to.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' But you know, sometimes, I, uh, I [[dream]] I'm back in uh, Manchester High, you know, I get to see all my- all my old s- c- all my old friends… there.

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Sometimes I even see [[Megan]] and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] in there… John's her brother…

'''Emily:''' Oh ok...

'''Chris:''' Can you believe that, attending Manchester High like I was back then,

'''Emily:''' [small laughter]

'''Chris:''' …but yet they never went- they never been- they never been to Manchester High, neither of them. Isn't that… kinda funny?

'''Emily:''' [''slightly sarcastically''] Yeah... that is kinda funny!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... FYE was over there…

'''Emily:''' Oh... I guess it's becoming a LensCrafters?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I guess… anyway here's the Spencer's.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' If you like looking at the, uh, naughty stuff-

'''Emily:''' [quickly] No, I'm not into that.

'''Chris:''' Not yet anyway! [laughs]

'''Emily:''' [nervous laughter]

'''Chris:''' Ah, but you might. But it's mostly humorous, anyway.

'''Emily:''' Yeah... well... doesn't look like there's anything down here…

'''Chris:''' Yeah... not much… not much to look at around here… the toy stores around here are down here…

'''Emily:''' Oh... well I gotta get going soon, it's gonna be a long drive!

'''Chris:''' Long drive…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Well I hope, uh, you at least, uh, keep the memories, uh , we've shared…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll walk you to your car, if you want…

'''Emily:''' No, I'll probably have to go to the bathroom first… [[Women's rights|it's that time of the month]]…

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, when you're on your, uh, period…

'''Emily:''' Yeah... [''nervous laughter'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you know, aside from the, uh, first time, uh, meeting, this first meeting, uh, how do you feel about me? In general…

'''Emily:''' You're a really nice guy!

'''Chris:''' Thank you…

'''Emily:''' I don't know why like, people pick on you and all that…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they should get to know me in person…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' I mean I'm a gentleman, I behave… behave…

'''Emily:''' [''steering the beast''] Have you been into any of these stores over here?

===Meet the Pickle (1:21:44–1:25:29)===

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] pick you up right here? Yeah, so, um, you wouldn't want to go see ''Watchmen'', would you?

'''Chris:''' Uh... no.

'''Emily:''' I haven't seen that movie.

'''Chris:''' [''shocked''] Uh... any particular reason why you're dressed up like that?

'''Pickle Man:''' Not in particular.

'''Chris:''' Come on, Emily.

'''Emily:''' What?

'''Pickle Man:''' Hey, hey, maybe the lady wants to go with me. Huh, ya want to go see ''Watchmen''? Lots of, uh...

'''Emily:''' [gloating] Why, what's wrong?

'''Chris:''' The man in the [[pickle]] suit… a- it's apparent this guy's amongst the… [[trolls]].

'''Pickle Man:''' You think…

'''Emily:''' What's a tro…

'''Pickle Man:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Passerby:''' Who are you?

'''Passerby:''' Sir… sir, what are you?

'''Pickle Man:''' I'm a pickle.

'''Passerby:''' You're a pickle! I love pickles.

'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah? Pickles are pretty cool.

'''Passerby:''' And who are you advertising with?

'''Pickle Man:''' I'm not really advertising.

'''Passerby:''' You're just dressed for fun?

'''Pickle Man:''' Just bored.

'''Chris:''' Dressed as a pickle to HAUNT ME.

'''Pickle Man:''' Excuse me? I don't even know you.

'''Passerby:''' You're just bored?

'''Pickle Man:''' Yep!

'''Chris:''' [questioningly] You don't even know me… are you sure… have you-do you have [[Internet]] access?

'''Pickle Man:''' Lots of people have Internet access.

'''Chris:''' Do you know [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]?

'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not.

'''Chris:''' Do you know about [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]?

'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not. [''turning to Emily''] Want to go see ''Watchmen''?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sighs''] No, no, no, she's with-

'''Emily:''' Alright!

'''Chris:''' …she's h- she's headed over to- she's heading back to her home town.

'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, ''Watchmen'' would be pretty cool.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, it would be pretty cool!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, alright, uh...

'''Emily:''' Let's go see it!

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay, cool.

'''Emily:''' Yeah?

'''Pickle Man:''' [''to Emily as they turn to leave together''] You've probably seen ''Watchmen'' [''he refers to the novel''], haven't you?

'''Chris:''' [''answering the question meant for Emily as he is clearly left behind''] I've heard of ''Watchmen''…

'''Pickle Man:''' [''laughs at Chris'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' [''inaudible, but clearly saying something to the effect that he doesn't like the Pickle Man'']

'''Emily:''' [''gloating''] What's wrong with him?

'''Pickle Man:''' SOMETHING. You like pickles?

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I do not like pickles.

'''Pickle Man:''' No pickles?

'''Chris:''' And also particularly a guy in a pickle suit who tricked me on the Internet pretending that he was [[Blanca]]!

'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him!

'''Pickle Man:''' Who's Blanca?

'''Chris:''' [''[[stress sigh]]s/grunts'']

'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him! See, he's a nice guy.

'''Chris:''' Well, alright. [''small voiced, stressed as he moves closer to Emily'']

'''Pickle Man:''' I-I think you're making the lady a little-uncomfortable there, Chris.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sighs''] I'm sorry, Emily.

'''Emily:''' It's ok... I think I have… to go to the bathroom now…

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, go change my tampon.

'''Chris:''' Oh boy. [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [''inaudible''] …but I guess I do now.

'''Emily:''' [''attempting to brush him off''] OK, well it was nice meeting you… maybe we'll talk online or something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well… I kinda… [''inaudible'']

'''Pickle Man:''' [''as they continue trying to walk away''] Well, we're going to go now.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well…

'''Emily:''' I'm going to the bathroom.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, either of- [''to Pickle Man''] you're not going where she's going…

'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, we're- we're leaving together.

'''Chris:''' Are you with her?

'''Pickle Man:''' Now we are. We're going to go see ''Watchmen''.

'''Chris:''' No! N- no! She's going b- you gotta go back to West Virginia, don't you.

'''Pickle Man:''' We're going to go see ''Watchmen'' first.

'''Emily:''' I'm kinda- just- gonna- ''Watchmen'' is not that long of a movie.

'''Chris:''' [''suddenly concerned for Emily''] Yeah, but you got a five-hour drive!

'''Emily:''' [''dismissively''] It'll be okay.

[footsteps]

'''Emily:''' Hmmm.

'''Pickle Man:''' Going this way?

'''Emily:''' Yeah, I gotta go to the bathroom. Tampon time.

[Pickle Man asks Chris a question]

'''Chris:''' Uhhhhhh... no.

[''The Pickle Man and Chris indistinctly carry on a short dialogue. The Pickle Man seems to be asking Chris why he is following along, and Chris replies.'']

'''Chris:''' I'm just staying close to my friends...

'''Emily:''' Alright, see ya!

===Hiding out in the bathroom (1:25:29–1:29:34)===

[''There is a long lacuna as Emily hides from Chris in the bathroom.'']

'''Passerby:''' [inaudible]...[[Chris and fashion|very fashionable looking]].

'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you!

'''Passerby:''' The mall should pay you for walking around.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

[''Another long silence as Emily finally leaves the bathroom.'']

===A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)===

'''Pickle Man:''' So, you ready to go?

'''Emily:''' Yeah, my car's that way.

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, her car's… Your car's [''inaudible''] didn't you?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, so did I.

'''Emily:''' Oh, you did?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Which Belk?

'''Chris:''' Tha- that way.

'''Emily:''' Oh... I'm over there.

'''Chris:''' Oh. [''continues walking alongside Pickle Man and Emily'']

'''Emily:''' Chris… you don't need to walk me to my car.

'''Chris:''' Okaaay.

'''Emily:''' This is… Alright.

'''Chris:''' So, you have yourself a safe trip back to uhh... West Virginia.

'''Emily:''' Oh... [''feigning cheerfulness''] okay! I might call you on Skype later.

'''Chris:''' Okay, you take care.

'''Emily:''' You too.

'''Chris:''' Hey… [''attempts to hug and kiss Emily'']

'''Emily:''' [''tries to avoid Chris''] No…N-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Emily''] I-I was gonna kiss... just on the cheek...

'''Emily:''' [''Overlaps with Chris''] N-no... no thank you! [''nervous laughter''] No thank you.

'''Chris:''' [''gives up''] Okay.

'''Emily:''' Alright, see you.

'''Chris:''' Alright, well you take care, be safe.

'''Emily:''' Alright, you too.

[''Pickle Man and Emily walk away from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' [yelling from a distance] HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!

[''There is laughter from Pickle Man and Emily.'']

'''Emily:''' ['laughing''] Mission accomplished!

'''Pickle Man:''' Is he gone yet?

'''Emily:''' I don't know, let me look behind.

'''Pickle Man:''' Oh no he's leaving... I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry.

'''Emily:''' That's okay! [''inaudible''] worse than me…

'''Pickle Man:''' I'm so sorry.

'''Emily:''' That's okay.

'''Pickle Man:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay... [''inaudible''] man in the pickle suit?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Pickle Man:''' [''laughing, says something about Clyde Cash'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Wait there… there's Frosty.

'''Pickle Man:''' What?

'''Emily:''' Looks like he's gone now. I'm gonna go tell him what happened.

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay.

'''Emily:''' [''presumably walking to see Frosty''] Yes! Still recording!

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?hgz03i1wj4n Full audio]

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

GameStop

2012-07-13T04:26:44Z

Axe: /* References */ Category:Eyewitness Accounts

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:SchuGameStop.jpg|thumb|From ''[[Sub-Episode 1]]'']]

'''GameStop''' is a large [[video game]] store chain from which [[Chris]] buys his consoles and games.

Within the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]], GameStop locations appear in [[CWCville Mall]] in ''[[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]]'', and in the [[Sho-Mall Region]] in ''[[Sub-Episode 1]]'' .

In [[2008]], Chris won $400 in the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' contest after an uncoordinated [[troll]] attack backfired.

Chris also supposedly met [[Chloe]] there while the two of them were preordering ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.

==2009 sighting==
On 23 [[November 2009]], a post was made on a gaming forum by a GameStop employee.<ref>[http://www.the-nextlevel.com/tnl/threads/54444-CWC-Chris-Chan?p=1064427996#post1064427996]</ref> The post documented a real life encounter with Chris and contained four pictures.

The employee, named Angel, had some knowledge of Chris prior to this meeting, thanks to Chris's [[ED]] page. Angel made a wager with a [[gal-pal]] that if he was to ever take a picture with Chris, she and Angel would have to get married. The gal pal accepted this challenge—yet another example of [[Liquid Chris|people]] [[Kacey|finding]] true love through [[trolling]] Chris.

Angel's forum post:

{{quotebox|Pic 1: Don't the teen affectations, I hadda do the duck lips and peace sign as part of the wedding bet, oh, I had to touch him also.

Pic 2: [[Sonichu]] Shrinkey Dinks, bitches, copywritten and all.

Pic 3: Siggy, I need to get an extra for my fiance, but it needs to be personalized and say "love" at least once.

Pic 4: His card.

Basically, I've known this girl since she was 12, we discovered him sometime earlier this year and after some creative googling, I discovered he was a local. Then I started to remember him from [[The Game Place]] on Fridays, [[Pokemon]] night--easier to find an [[Boyfriend-free girl|unattached girl]] when she's [[Pedofork|only 9]], I guess. I told my friend and she accused me of lying, so we made a bet, her idea, her hand, for my pic with him.

Everyone at the store, hell the whole GameStop corporation, knows this guy, he's a bottomless pit of lulz for us, which I'll share soon. Oddly they didn't know about the orange soda and semen drinking. Anyhow, Once the deal was made, I swore everyone in the store to calling me once he shows. A month or so back, he showed up at the GH5 contest blood drive and I was working.

I motion to Kyle to stop him from walking out the door because I was busy and Kyle pussied out, so I yelled out "I-is that... Sonichu?" he did a 180 so fast there was a sonic boom and immediately made for me. He started talking to me about that shitty comic of his, and I hadda pretend to be into it. But I got my pic and my wife. I'll post pics of her at some point, if she says yes to it.}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Chrisangel01.png|Peace!
File:Chrisangel02.png|True and Honest
File:Chrisangel03.png|My card.
File:Chrisangel04.png|Sticker
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

File:Kroger sighting.jpg

2012-07-13T04:25:53Z

Axe: Category:Eyewitness Accounts

A recent report by a FA:

<blockquote>Decided to go pick up milk and naturally went to the kroger at rio hill near my house. Imagine my shock when I see our man child there! Sitting in the corner, with [[Bob]], eating hungry man meals (they were using the microwave of the deli). [[Chris]] in a [[Chris and fashion|maroon striped golf usa shirt]], tan khakis and a [[UVA]] cavs coat. I quickly ordered a drink from the nearby chinese place in store, and observed. During the outing, [[Snorlax]] called Bob's cell, which Chris answered. Sadly, I had to go to get the milk home, so I did not over here the conversation, however, I can tell you this, Bob looks like shit. Gaunt, leathery and freckled. I almost did not recognize him at first! Sighting took place roughly 20 minutes ago.</blockquote>

<blockquote>
Yes he was, they had two [cups of water]

perhaps, those cups are from the nearby starbucks (also saw half a brownie sitting out)
</blockquote>

<blockquote>
Bob got up to snag a newspaper (tables near book section/magazine/newspaper) while chris ate/dicked around on his [[PSP|psp]] (thing in red case)
</blockquote>

<blockquote>
They are headphones, the wrap around ear type.

Interesting note, when he answered the cell phone (little red samsung, the model above mine) he spoke in a rather normalish voice, not high pitched, just a slight slight draw.
</blockquote>

<blockquote>
there were two hungry man meals, one for Bob, one for Chris. Two star bucks drinks. I am not even sure that kroger carries hungry man meals.
</blockquote>

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Charlottesville Fashion Square

2012-07-13T04:24:16Z

Axe: /* External links */ Category:Eyewitness Accounts

[[Image:FashionSquareMallExternal.jpg|thumb|200px|External view of Charlottesville Fashion Square.]]

[[Image:Fashionsquareretail399 thumb.jpg|thumb|200px|Image from inside the mall.]]

'''Charlottesville [[Fashion]] Square''' is one of the original venues for [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] exploits. Like most of his "attraction locations", it hasn't done much for him, and he has twice been forcibly removed from the premises, once for loitering and once for creating a loud disturbance, by April 2012 he had been banned from entering the mall.<ref name="facebook ban">[[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D|Facebook - 28 April 2012]]</ref>

The mall was also used in the Tom Clancy book ''The Teeth of the Tiger'' as the scene of an Islamic [[terrorist]] act.

==Chris and the Fashion Square==
It was in this mall where Chris met [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"]] got its start.

It was here that he had his heart smashed down to 15% by [[Hanna]], and presumably where he (accompanied by [[Bob|his father]]) went on his "date" with [[Emily]], who was later rescued by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]. It's safe to say that, at one point, a large portion of Chris's time spent outside the house was at this mall.

Due to the misadventures Chris had here, this place holds a significant role in Christory. Say "hi" to manager [[ScotPalazzo]] should you ever visit.

==Chris vs. Fashion Square==
Chris has had trouble with the management and security at Fashion Square on a number of occasions over the years.

On 5 August [[2004]], according to [[CWC's Diary]], Chris's attempts to fish for a girlfriend with a [[Red String of Fate]] were cut short by a [[jerkop]] who destroyed that particular Love Quest accessory. A month later, on 6 September, he had another run-in with a security guard who was apparently treated to a rendition of Chris's "Lonesome Virgin story".

11 September 2004 saw Chris's first partial ban from the mall, forbidding him from returning without a parent to accompany him. His diary doesn't explain exactly why he was banned, but [[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]] dramatizes the day's events. Reading between the lines of the comic book version, Chris was loitering and soliciting with his [[Attraction Sign]], became belligerent with security, and was arrested and removed from the mall.

Chris was apparently able to return to the mall unaccompanied by the next spring. On 29 March 2005, the infamous date with Hanna took place, after which Chris emitted an anguished "NOOOOOOOO" that led him to being banned from the mall once again.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat#ban|Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie e-mails part 2#ban|Jackie E-mails - Part II]]</ref> [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] indicates that the ban (which again prevented Chris from going to the mall without a parent) was still in effect towards the end of 2008.

According to the reports of a field agent, Chris was seen 'sperging at the mall accompanied by his parents in the summer of 2010. Subsequently, on 31 August 2010, he was spotted (and filmed) hanging out at the mall alone. This suggests that either the bans have expired, or Chris has managed to [[Flipnote Hatena|evade yet another ban]].

In early 2012, Chris's leaked [[Facebook statuses]] revealed that he had returned to loitering at the mall on a regular basis. His "normal plan" at the mall, according to the leaks, is to "sit, hang and wait for a Ms. Right."

On 4 February, he managed to get himself in trouble again, by leaving flyers decrying [[Michael Snyder]] around the mall. A security guard found them and attempted to speak to Chris about them. Chris then fled the mall and drove away.

On 31 March, he managed to get himself in trouble for a second time this year, this time by yelling on his phone towards his trolls. Security guards came to confront Chris, but he ended up fleeing the mall once more.

On 28 April, Chris releases a facebook message stating that, on the 25th of April, he had received the ban-hammer for getting angry in the mall when he answered some calls from Trolls.<ref name="facebook ban"/>

==Chris captured on video==
On the last day of [[August 2010]], the same cameraman who spotted Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] posted this brief snippet on [[YouTube]], showing Chris slumped in a chair and staring creepily at a young woman at the mall.

Chris's [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Clyde Cash]] reveal that he was sitting around waiting to be rewarded for destroying his [[PS3]].

{{collapsible
|Another Rare Glimpse of Chris in Public.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When you see it...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1fvIvbUQ9_0}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2010
| Maker = 0ArchieBunker0
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==Comic references==
===[[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]]: "Jerkop-tastropie"===
Dramatization of Chris getting busted by [[jerkop|mall security]] for loitering.

===[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]]: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"===
Dramatization of a [[Hanna|girl who works at a Starbucks]] trolling Chris by taking him out on a date.

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.simon.com/mall/default.aspx?ID=117 Official Website]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottesville_Fashion_Square Wikipedia Article]

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

University of Virginia

2012-07-13T04:22:13Z

Axe: /* Sources */ Category:Eyewitness Accounts

The '''[[Wikipedia:University of Virginia|University of Virginia]]''', founded by [[A Hike|Thomas Jefferson]] himself in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]], has been declared a [[Wikipedia:World Heritage Site|World Heritage Site]] and is a famous example of [[Wikipedia:Neoclassical architecture|neoclassical architecture]], in addition to being consistently regarded as one of the best universities in the [[United States of America]].

All this, however, cannot save it from the unfortunate fame of being one of Chris's prime [[attraction location]]s.

Chris would spend time in the Alderman Library, playing his [[Nintendo|DS]] in the café, in hopes of attracting a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to be his [[sweetheart]]. According to a local [[Wikipedia:Something Awful|Something Awful]] goon named vikivil, Chris would also leave some business cards behind in the library with the address to his [[Sonichu site]] printed on them. It can be reasonably assumed that these cards might have been one of the early seeds to his later Internet infamy.

Chris alludes to "the campus" in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] video, suggesting that he may return to UVA as an attraction location for his [[Love Quest]].

==Sonichu on UVA==

In ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' #5, "[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]" ([[Chris and reality|read: Chris]]) did a review of the UVA Library:
{{quotebox|After hanging at Fashion Square and PVCC, Sonichu, the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]], decided to give the University of Virginia a try. He found the campus grounds serene and peaceful with its history, scenery and plenty of grass to rest on. He found himself educated within the libraries’ many books, and made like he was in Paris with the outdoor tables and chairs. And the “Corner” stores had an interesting selection of items from pencil sets to DVDs. He gave the UVA 5/5 Lightning Bolts of approval. Thank you UVA, for a very peaceful place to chill at in the city of Charlottesville.}}

==UVA student on Chris==

{{quotebox|So Sonichu returned to Alderman today. I am not sure what to make of him. He sits in his chair and draws his sonichu comics, harmless, i assme. Yet, I feel like he knows he's different. He knows that the world rushing in front of him is not his own. Surrounded by the "brightest" students in America, whatever that means, he sits in his chair and draws. 23 years old. I'm not sure he even [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|graduated high school]]. In front of him texts of [[Wikipedia:Plato|Plato]], [[Wikipedia:Faulkner|Faulkner]], [[Chris and religion|God]], and [[Wikipedia:Heinrich von Kleist|Kleist]] swirl. Does he have the capacity to understand these works? Whether he can or not, I am not sure, but their is something in his eyes that realizes that there is a level of understanding and thought that he is unable to partake in. As he slumps lower and lower in his chair with each student he eyes reading or holding a book, he falls into himself- into the markers and colors on the page in front of him. (coffee idea) He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all.<ref>[http://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html LiveJournal] 13 April 2005</ref>}}

==Fake number==

On 12 [[March 2009]], Chris talked to seven girls at Alderman Library. One of them gave him a number. "But unfortunately it was a fake... but unfortunately it was a bad number" because it was out of service. Chris was emotionally prepared for that though, since he had watched [[Wikipedia:The Strike (Seinfeld)|an episode]] of ''[[Seinfeld]]'' where [[Wikipedia:Elaine Benes|Elaine]] gives fake numbers to guys and a funny situation resulted with her wanting a free sub.<ref>[[Robert Simmons V#Church visit|Church audio]]</ref>

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

McIntire Park

2012-07-13T04:19:39Z

Axe: /* External links */ Category:Eyewitness Accounts

[[Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|thumb|left|HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE DOGWOOD FESTIVAL!]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|''"I think what we're saying here... it's going to be compromised,"'' – said Mala Cunningham at just that same moment. Little did she know...]]
[[Image:Z100 0827.jpg|thumb|right| ...that was exactly what was happening.]]

'''McIntire Park''' is a park in [[Charlottesville]] which became a [[Attraction Location|favorite hangout]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] during [[2009]]. It features a chalkboard wall where visitors can leave whatever messages (or drawings of your [[Sonichu (character)|favorite hedgehog hero]]!) as they see fit. Every April, the annual [http://www.charlottesvilledogwoodfestival.org/ Dogwood Festival] is held at the Park, featuring a fireworks display.

The Park was at the center of a local controversy, due to plans to reallocate part of the area to a new [[Wikipedia:YMCA|YMCA]] facility and a parkway. Chris, seeing an opportunity to promote himself and [[Sonichu]], joined the effort to save the Park in the summer of [[2009]]. His insatiable need for [[Chris and Ego|attention]] is obvious, though hidden behind an ounce of "concern" for the public good.

==Chris on NBC==
On 22 [[July 2009]], local [[Wikipedia:NBC|NBC]] affiliate [[Wikipedia:WVIR-TV|WVIR]] ran a story on the six o'clock news about the controversy surrounding the park. During an interview with a representative of the McIntire Preservation Committee, Chris marches through the shot while holding up his [[Sonichu medallion]].
{{-}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|KmPSkNrgjys}}</center>
<center>Chris shows up at 1:08 if you want to skip to it.</center>

==Chris in a Council Meeting==
At some point prior to 14 [[August 2009]], Chris created a two-foot-wide sign featuring [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]] with giant wads of babbling text, intended to express support for the park. The youngsters are holding extremely tiny signs that read "SAVE MCINTIRE PARK," which would be impossible to read from more than six feet away, rendering the sign largely useless.

The sign would be seen in [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|a video]] where Chris used his artwork to refute the claims of [[CChanSonichuCWC]]. On 17 August Chris brought the sign with him to a Charlottesville city council meeting, and was recognized for his [[Chris and Art|effort]]. Chris began to ramble out of turn until the city council told him to pipe down, earning the envy of millions.

It is possible that, since Chris is like a sponge to mass media, he thinks that he will be seen as a "hero" if he succeeds at saving McIntire, due to various pieces of media using this [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SavingTheOrphanage trope] as a plot point.

<center>{{#ev:youtube|9go8K2mskJw}}</center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:Sonichu Rosechu Save McIntire by Cwcipedia.jpg|thumb|Actually, the park isn't free either. Tax payers pay for it through [[monthly tugboat|taxes]]. THE MOAR YOU KNOW.]]
''[transcription starts at 0:30, speaker is Bob Fenwick]''

Fenwick: I would also like to call special attention to a young man, Christian Chandler, who's in the audience, who spent a great deal of time making his own save McIntire sign.

''[applause, Chris starts shouting in the audience]''

Chris: Indeed!

Hmm. It's less expensive for McIntire Park. Membership is required for the YMCA and plus the wading pool should be bigger and deeper.

''[gets cut off by chairman]''

Chairman: Eh, heheh, one speaker at a time. Thank you.

''[Audience laughs]''

Fenwick: Now, I think you all...

== Independence Day Sighting ==
[[File:CWC Pokemon.png|thumb|left|Artist's conception of Chris using the attraction rock of fail.]]
[[File:Disco duck.png|thumb|What the note probably said.]]
[[File:Zoom_lens_for_DSi.jpg|thumb|The "zoom lens" as aforementioned. Apparently it acts as a sort of optic enhancement by adding a binocular zoom]]

On 4 July 2010, a [[troll]] reported that they had spotted Chris at the Independence Day celebrations held at McIntire Park on 4 July. Chris allegedly wore relatively normal clothing, indicating that perhaps he had realized how retarded he looked on his previous outing.

The troll reported that Chris had what appeared to be a large camera lens attached to the front of his DSi, and was presumably using it to survey the area for [[boyfriend-free girl]]s.

Interestingly, the troll also reported that Chris scribbled a note onto something, wrapped it around a rock, and chucked it at a woman in what would appear to be a more aggressive and direct twist to the [[Red String of Fate]] tactic. Another possible explanation is that this is Chris's way of messaging people he doesn't know on [[facebook]] or various [[dating profiles]], applied to the real world. Whatever his logic was, the contents of the note remain a mystery.

The troll's account in full:

{{quotebox|I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu. 
I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook her head. She then turned and went on her way. 
At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy.}}

==See also:==
{{CWCipedia|chris=McIntirePark}}
*[[Charlottesville, VA]]
*[[CWCville|CWCville Park/CWC-Central Park]]

==External links==
*[http://savemcintire.org Save McIntire]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Template:Music Videos

2012-07-13T04:12:39Z

Axe:

{{Navbox
| title = Chris's [[Chris and music|music]] videos
| name = Music Videos

| list1 = [[So Need a Cute Girl#Music video|"So Need a Cute Girl" (I)]] • “[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]” • “[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Master Onion A-La Mode]]” • [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|''Ghostbusters'' Theme]] • “[[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|Never Gonna Give You Up]]” • “[[Sonichu & Chris Chan in Guitar Hero World Tour|Heartbreaker]]” • “[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]]” • “[[Chris Sings Lovin' You|Lovin' You]]” • “[[For My Sweetest Ivy|Jolly Holiday]]” • “[[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|Fart Song]]” • “[[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|It's All Coming Back To Me]]” • “[[I Got A Fish]]” • "[[Chris's_Big_Night_Out#Chris_Loves_The_Nightlife|I Love the Nightlife]]” • “[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|Don't Trust Any Homos]]” • “[[It's UGH!|Ok2bgay]]” • “[[Cwc dare|Dare]]” • [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend" (I)]] • “[[CWC More Than A Feeling|More Than A Feeling]]” • “[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|Sonic Boom]]” • “[[SingStar Challenge Round 2|Don't Say You Love Me]]” • “[[SingStar Challenge Round 3|Autumn Goodbye]]” • “[[SingStar Challenge Round 4|The Touch]]” • “[[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Can I Smell Yo Dick?]]” • “[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special|KCWC Top 10]]” • “[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|So Need A Cute Girl (II)]]” • “[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|Respect]]” • “[[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|Old Time Rock and Roll]]” • “[[SHE IS MINE NOW|Walk This Way]]” • “[[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|A Whole New World]]” • “[[iPods Down and Listen Up]]” • “[[Hello, Juffalo|Juggalo Family]]” • [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|"Mr. Plow" Remix]] • [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|"Boyfriend" (II)]] • [[Song for Jackie.MOV|"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"/Minstrel song]] • “[[I like Mary Poppins|Step in Time]]” • “[[100 2266|Don't Laugh At Me]]” • “[[100 2269|A Day in the Life]]” • [[100 2277‎|''The Flintstones'' Theme]] • [[Gilligan Be or Not|''Hamlet'' song]] • [[FullHouse|''Full House'' Theme]] • “[[WelcometoBollywood|Kajra Re]]” • [[Ghostbusters (video)|''The Real Ghostbusters'' Theme]] • “[[JuggaloShoutOut|Gangsta's Paradise]]” • "[[Teenage Dream]]" • "[[Little Tomboy Blue|Fuck the Pain Away]]"
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Template:Videobooks

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#REDIRECT [[Template:Sonichu]]

Template:Captain's Log

2012-07-13T03:56:16Z

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| group3 = Sept 2008
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| group4 = Oct 2008
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}}

| col3 = {{Navbox subgroup
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| group2 = Feb 2010
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| group4 = Apr 2010
| list4 = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|12]]

| group5 = May 2010
| list5 = [[05142010|15]]{{•}} [[Some Favored Comedians|20]]{{•}} [[100 2189|31]]

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| list6 = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|6]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|8]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|12]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|15]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|16]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|18]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|21]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|26]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009|30]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009|31]]

| group7 = Feb 2009
| list7 = [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|8]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|10]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|18]]

| group8 = Mar 2009
| list8 = [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009|18]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|26]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|27]]
}}

| col2 = {{Navbox subgroup
| group1 = Apr 2009
| list1 = [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|9]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate Easter Sunday, 2009|12]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|17]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|28]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 29th, 2009|29]]

| group2 = May 2009
| list2 = [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|3]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22]]

| group3 = July 2009
| list3 = [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|7]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|22]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|29]]

| group4 = Aug 2009
| list4 = [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|3]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|12]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|13]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 16th, 2009|16]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009|18]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|20]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|22]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|30]]

| group5 = Sept 2009
| list5 = [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 4th, 2009|4]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 10th, 2009|10]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 19th, 2009|19]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 25th, 2009|25]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|29]]

| group6 = Oct 2009
| list6 = [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2009|9]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|10]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15]]

| group7 = Nov 2009
| list7 = [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|12]]{{•}} [[14 November 2009|14]]

| group8 = Dec 2009
| list8 = [[3 December 2009|3]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9]]{{•}} [[Congrats, Jack Black|12]]{{•}} [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|20]]{{•}} [[Kill De Jack|25]]
}}

| col3 = {{Navbox subgroup
| group1 = Jan 2010
| list1 = [[This was my fault|2]]{{•}} [[Down with Asperchu|9]]{{•}} [[12 January 2010|12]]{{•}} [[14 January 2010|14]]{{•}} [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|15]]{{•}} [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|17]]{{•}} [[22 January 2010|22]]{{•}} [[29 January 2010|29]]

| group2 = Feb 2010
| list2 = [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|1]]{{•}} [[5 February 2010|5]]{{•}} [[9 February 2010|9]]

| group3 = Mar 2010
| list3 = [[02 March 2010|2]]

| group4 = Apr 2010
| list4 = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|12]]

| group5 = May 2010
| list5 = [[05142010|15]]{{•}} [[Some Favored Comedians|20]]{{•}} [[100 2189|31]]

| group6 = Aug 2010
| list6 = [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|27]]

| group7 = Sept 2010
| list7 = [[Haters gonna hate.mov|6]]{{•}} [[XBox is OK.MOV|13]]
}}
}}<includeonly>{{#ifeq: {{lc:{{{nocat|false}}}}} | false | {{Namespace detect | main = [[Category:Captain's log entries]]}} }}</includeonly><noinclude>{{usage

| This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's [[Captain's Log]] videos. The format for using this template is as follows: 

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Template:Navbox with columns

2012-07-13T03:50:26Z

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Template:Navbox

2012-07-13T03:41:56Z

Axe:

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! style="}}{{{basestyle|}}};{{{titlestyle|}}}" colspan={{#expr:2{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{image|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{titlegroup|}}}|-1}}}} class="navbox-title" {{!}} {{#if:{{#switch:{{{navbar|}}}|plain|off=1}} {{#if:{{{name|}}}||{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child|none=1}}}}| {{#ifeq:{{{navbar|}}}|off|{{#ifeq:{{{state|}}}|plain|<div style="float:right;width:6em;"> </div>}}| {{#ifeq:{{{state|}}}|plain||<div style="float:left; width:6em;text-align:left;"> </div>}}}}| <div style="float:left; width:6em;text-align:left;"> {{Tnavbar|{{{name}}}|fontstyle={{{basestyle|}}};{{{titlestyle|}}};border:none;|mini=1}} </div>{{#ifeq:{{{state|}}}|plain|<div style="float:right;width:6em;"> </div>}}}} {{{title}}} }}{{#if:{{{above|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px;"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}-
{{!}} class="navbox-abovebelow" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{abovestyle|}}}" colspan="{{#expr:2{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{image|}}}|+1}}}}" {{!}} {{{above}}} }}{{#if:{{{list1|}}}|{{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px;"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}-{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} style="width:0%;padding:0px 2px 0px 0px;{{{imageleftstyle|}}}" rowspan={{#expr:1{{#if:{{{list2|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list3|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list4|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list5|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list6|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list7|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list8|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list9|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list10|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list11|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list12|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list13|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list14|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list15|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list16|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list17|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list18|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list19|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list20|}}}|+2}}}} {{!}} {{{imageleft|}}} }}{{#if:{{{group1|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group1style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group1}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{oddstyle|}}};{{{list1style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{list1padding|{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}}}}">
{{{list1}}}</div>{{#if:{{{image|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} style="width:0%;padding:0px 0px 0px 2px;{{{imagestyle|}}}" rowspan={{#expr:1{{#if:{{{list2|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list3|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list4|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list5|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list6|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list7|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list8|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list9|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list10|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list11|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list12|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list13|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list14|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list15|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list16|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list17|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list18|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list19|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list20|}}}|+2}}}} {{!}} {{{image|}}} }} }}{{#if:{{{list2|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list1|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group2|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group2style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group2}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list2style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
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{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group3|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group3style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group3}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group4|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group4style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group4}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list4style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list4}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list5|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list4|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group5|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group5style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group5}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list5style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list5}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list6|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list5|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group6|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group6style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group6}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list6style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list6}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list7|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list6|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group7|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group7style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group7}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list7style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list7}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list8|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list7|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group8|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group8style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group8}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list8style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list8}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list9|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list8|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group9|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group9style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group9}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list9style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list9}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list10|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list9|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group10|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group10style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group10}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list10style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list10}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list11|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list10|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group11|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group11style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group11}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list11style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list11}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list12|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list11|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group12style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group12}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group13style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group13}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{{list13}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list14|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list13|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group14style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group14}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{!}}- style="height:2px"
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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group15style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group15}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list15style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list15}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list16|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list15|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group16|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group16style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group16}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{{list16}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list17|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list16|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
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{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group17|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group17style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group17}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list17style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list17}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list18|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list17|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
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{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group18|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group18style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group18}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list18style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
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{{!}}- style="height:2px"
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{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group19|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group19style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group19}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{{list19}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list20|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list19|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group20|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group20style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group20}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list20style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list20}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{below|}}}|{{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list1|}}}{{{list2|}}}{{{list3|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px;"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}-
{{!}} class="navbox-abovebelow" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{belowstyle|}}}" colspan="{{#expr:2{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{image|}}}|+1}}}}" {{!}} {{{below}}} }}
{{!}}}{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child=|none=|#default=<nowiki/>
{{!}}} }}<noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is a metatemplate for constructing navigational templates. The format for using this template is as follows: 

<pre>{{Navbox
| name = Navbox/doc
| title = [[Sonichu|Dumb Navbox that's not really about Sonichu]]
| image = [[Image:Molvania_svg.png|80px|link=|alt=]]
| imageleft = [[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|80px]]
| group1 = Herp
| list1 = [[American Rabbit|Derp]]

| group2 = Genitals
| list2 = [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic]]{{•}} [[China]]

| group3 = Dumb ideas
| list3 = [[Patti|Dig up Patti]]{{•}} [[Chris and sex|Get Chris to have sex with a tranny]]{{•}} [[Liquid Chris|Let's all impersonate Chris like Liquid did!]]{{•}} [[Autism papers|Break into his house and steal the autism papers]]{{•}}[[Asperchu|E-mail Chris and pretend he created Asperchu]]{{•}} [[Chris and money|Let's get his SSI taken away!]]{{•}} [[Video|Make a "rant" video about Christian Weston Chandler]]

| group4 = What if...?
| list4 = [[Sonichu (comic)|What if Chris never created Sonichu?]]{{•}} [[Cwcville|What if Cwcville were REAL?]]{{•}} [[Chris|What if you woke up and YOU were Chris?]]{{•}} [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|What if Nick Fury fought World War II in Outer Space?]]

| group5 = Quotes from Transformers: The Movie
| list5 = [[Optimus Prime|One shall stand, one shall fall.]]{{•}} [[Megatron pistol|Why throw away your life so recklessly?]]{{•}} [[Optimus Prime|That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.]]
}}</pre>

-Displays: {{Navbox
| name = Navbox/doc
| title = [[Sonichu|Dumb Navbox that's not really about Sonichu]]
| image = [[Image:Molvania_svg.png|80px|link=|alt=]]
| imageleft = [[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|80px]]
| group1 = Herp
| list1 = [[American Rabbit|Derp]]

| group2 = Genitals
| list2 = [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic]]{{•}} [[China]]

| group3 = Dumb ideas
| list3 = [[Patti|Dig up Patti]]{{•}} [[Chris and sex|Get Chris to have sex with a tranny]]{{•}} [[Liquid Chris|Let's all impersonate Chris like Liquid did!]]{{•}} [[Autism papers|Break into his house and steal the autism papers]]{{•}}[[Asperchu|E-mail Chris and pretend he created Asperchu]]{{•}} [[Chris and money|Let's get his SSI taken away!]]{{•}} [[Video|Make a "rant" video about Christian Weston Chandler]]

| group4 = What if...?
| list4 = [[Sonichu (comic)|What if Chris never created Sonichu?]]{{•}} [[Cwcville|What if Cwcville were REAL?]]{{•}} [[Chris|What if you woke up and YOU were Chris?]]{{•}} [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|What if Nick Fury fought World War II in Outer Space?]]

| group5 = Quotes from Transformers: The Movie
| list5 = [[Optimus Prime|One shall stand, one shall fall.]]{{•}} [[Megatron pistol|Why throw away your life so recklessly?]]{{•}} [[Optimus Prime|That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.]]
}}

}}
[[Category:Metatemplates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

User:Axe/sandbox

2012-07-13T03:15:03Z

Axe:

Template:Navbox subgroup

2012-07-13T03:05:43Z

Axe:

{{Navbox
|name = {{{name|}}}
|state = {{{state|}}}
|navbar = {{{navbar|}}}
|border = {{#if:{{{border|}}}|{{{border}}}|child}}

|title = {{{title|}}}
|above = {{{above|}}}
|below = {{{below|}}}
|image = {{{image|}}}
|imageleft = {{{imageleft|}}}
|groupwidth = {{{groupwidth|}}}

|group1 = {{#if:{{{group1|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group1}}}</div>}}
|group2 = {{#if:{{{group2|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group2}}}</div>}}
|group3 = {{#if:{{{group3|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group3}}}</div>}}
|group4 = {{#if:{{{group4|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group4}}}</div>}}
|group5 = {{#if:{{{group5|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group5}}}</div>}}
|group6 = {{#if:{{{group6|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group6}}}</div>}}
|group7 = {{#if:{{{group7|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group7}}}</div>}}
|group8 = {{#if:{{{group8|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group8}}}</div>}}
|group9 = {{#if:{{{group9|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group9}}}</div>}}
|group10 = {{#if:{{{group10|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group10}}}</div>}}
|group11 = {{#if:{{{group11|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group11}}}</div>}}
|group12 = {{#if:{{{group12|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group12}}}</div>}}
|group13 = {{#if:{{{group13|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group13}}}</div>}}
|group14 = {{#if:{{{group14|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group14}}}</div>}}
|group15 = {{#if:{{{group15|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group15}}}</div>}}
|group16 = {{#if:{{{group16|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group16}}}</div>}}
|group17 = {{#if:{{{group17|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group17}}}</div>}}
|group18 = {{#if:{{{group18|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group18}}}</div>}}
|group19 = {{#if:{{{group19|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group19}}}</div>}}
|group20 = {{#if:{{{group20|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group20}}}</div>}}

|list1 = {{{list1|}}}
|list2 = {{{list2|}}}
|list3 = {{{list3|}}}
|list4 = {{{list4|}}}
|list5 = {{{list5|}}}
|list6 = {{{list6|}}}
|list7 = {{{list7|}}}
|list8 = {{{list8|}}}
|list9 = {{{list9|}}}
|list10 = {{{list10|}}}
|list11 = {{{list11|}}}
|list12 = {{{list12|}}}
|list13 = {{{list13|}}}
|list14 = {{{list14|}}}
|list15 = {{{list15|}}}
|list16 = {{{list16|}}}
|list17 = {{{list17|}}}
|list18 = {{{list18|}}}
|list19 = {{{list19|}}}
|list20 = {{{list20|}}}

|style = margin: 0 -0.25em; {{{style|}}}{{{bodystyle|}}}
|imageleftstyle = {{{imageleftstyle|}}}
|imagestyle = {{{imagestyle|}}}
|titlestyle = {{{titlestyle|}}}
|basestyle = {{{basestyle|}}}
|abovestyle = {{{abovestyle|}}}
|belowstyle = {{{belowstyle|}}}
|groupstyle = padding-left:0em;padding-right:0em;{{{groupstyle|}}}
|liststyle = {{{liststyle|}}}
|evenstyle = {{{evenstyle|}}}
|oddstyle = {{{oddstyle|}}}

|group1style = {{{group1style|}}}
|group2style = {{{group2style|}}}
|group3style = {{{group3style|}}}
|group4style = {{{group4style|}}}
|group5style = {{{group5style|}}}
|group6style = {{{group6style|}}}
|group7style = {{{group7style|}}}
|group8style = {{{group8style|}}}
|group9style = {{{group9style|}}}
|group10style = {{{group10style|}}}
|group11style = {{{group11style|}}}
|group12style = {{{group12style|}}}
|group13style = {{{group13style|}}}
|group14style = {{{group14style|}}}
|group15style = {{{group15style|}}}
|group16style = {{{group16style|}}}
|group17style = {{{group17style|}}}
|group18style = {{{group18style|}}}
|group19style = {{{group19style|}}}
|group20style = {{{group20style|}}}

|list1style = {{{list1style|}}}
|list2style = {{{list2style|}}}
|list3style = {{{list3style|}}}
|list4style = {{{list4style|}}}
|list5style = {{{list5style|}}}
|list6style = {{{list6style|}}}
|list7style = {{{list7style|}}}
|list8style = {{{list8style|}}}
|list9style = {{{list9style|}}}
|list10style = {{{list10style|}}}
|list11style = {{{list11style|}}}
|list12style = {{{list12style|}}}
|list13style = {{{list13style|}}}
|list14style = {{{list14style|}}}
|list15style = {{{list15style|}}}
|list16style = {{{list16style|}}}
|list17style = {{{list17style|}}}
|list18style = {{{list18style|}}}
|list19style = {{{list19style|}}}
|list20style = {{{list20style|}}}

|{{#if:{{{evenodd|}}}|evenodd|void}} = {{{evenodd|}}}
|{{#if:{{{listpadding|}}}|listpadding|void}} = {{{listpadding|}}}

}}<noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is a metatemplate for constructing subgroups within a {{tl|Navbox}}. The format for using this template is as follows: 

<pre>{{Navbox subgroup
| group1 =
| list1 =

| group2 =
| list2 =

| group3 =
| list3 =
}}</pre>

Example:

<pre>{{Navbox
| name = Sonichu
| title = ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''

| group1 = Issues
| list1 = {{Navbox subgroup
| group1 = Standard
| list1 = [[Sonichu 0|#0]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 1|#1]]

| group2 = Special
| list2 = [[Sonichu Special 1|#1]]{{•}} [[Wedding Comic|#2]]
}}

| group2 = [[List of Sonichu characters|Characters]]
| list2 = {{Navbox subgroup
| group1 = Protagonists
| list1 = [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] ([[Ultra Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Metonic]])

| group2 = Villains
| list2 = [[Count Graduon]]{{•}} [[Mary Lee Walsh]]

| group3 = Minor
| list3 = [[Allison Amber]]{{•}} [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]]
}}

| group3 = Locations
| list3 = [[CWCville]]{{•}} [[RuleCWC]]
}}</pre>

Output:

{{Navbox
| name = Sonichu
| title = ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''

| group1 = Issues
| list1 = {{Navbox subgroup
| group1 = Standard
| list1 = [[Sonichu 0|#0]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 1|#1]]

| group2 = Special
| list2 = [[Sonichu Special 1|#1]]{{•}} [[Wedding Comic|#2]]
}}

| group2 = [[List of Sonichu characters|Characters]]
| list2 = {{Navbox subgroup
| group1 = Protagonists
| list1 = [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] ([[Ultra Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Metonic]])

| group2 = Villains
| list2 = [[Count Graduon]]{{•}} [[Mary Lee Walsh]]

| group3 = Minor
| list3 = [[Allison Amber]]{{•}} [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]]
}}

| group3 = Locations
| list3 = [[CWCville]]{{•}} [[RuleCWC]]
}}

}}

[[Category:Metatemplates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Template:Sonichu

2012-07-13T02:58:08Z

Axe: subgroups

{{Navbox
| name = Sonichu
| title = ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''

| group1 = Issues
| list1 = {{Navbox subgroup
| group1 = Standard
| list1 = [[Sonichu 0|#0]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 1|#1]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 2|#2]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 3|#3]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 4|#4]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 5|#5]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 6|#6]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 7|#7]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 8|#8]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 9|#9]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 10|#10]] ([[Book10Replacement|Replacement]]){{•}} ''[[Sonichu 11|#11]]''{{•}} ''[[Sonichu 12|#12]]''

| group2 = Special
| list2 = [[Sonichu Special 1|#1]]{{•}} [[Wedding Comic|#2]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic|#3]]{{•}} [[Sonichu Special 4|#4]]

| group3 = [[Official Videobooks|Videobooks]]
| list3 = [[Sonichu 0 Official Videobook|#0]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook|#1]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 2 Official Videobook|#2]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 3 Official Videobook|#3]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook|#4]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 5 Official Videobook|#5]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 6 Official Videobook|#6]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 7 Official Videobook|#7]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook|#8]]{{•}} ''[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook|#9]]''{{•}} ''[[Book10Replacement|#10]]''
}}

| group2 = [[List of Sonichu characters|Characters]]
| list2 = {{Navbox subgroup
| group1 = Protagonists
| list1 = [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] ([[Ultra Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Metonic]]){{•}} [[Rosechu]] ([[The Incredible Lioness]]{{•}} [[Vamprosa]]){{•}} [[Blake]]{{•}} [[Chaotic Combo]] ([[Angelica Rosechu]]{{•}} [[Bubbles Rosechu]]{{•}} [[Magi-Chan]]{{•}} [[Punchy Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Wild Sonichu]]){{•}} [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]]{{•}} [[Collosal Chan]])

| group2 = Villains
| list2 = [[Count Graduon]]{{•}} [[Mary Lee Walsh]]{{•}} [[Giovanni]]{{•}} [[Doctor Robotnik]]{{•}} [[Metal Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]{{•}} [[Decepti-Clones]]{{•}} [[Trolls]] ([[Asperchu#Trial_and_execution_of_Asperpedia_staff|''Asperchu'' Four]]{{•}} [[CChanSonichuCWC#In_the_Comics|IBAChandler]]{{•}} [[Clyde#In_the_comic|Cly(de)]]{{•}} [[Jack_Thaddeus#In_the_Comics|Jack]]{{•}} [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]){{•}} [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] ([[Bagget]]{{•}} [[Jerkhief]]){{•}} [[Manajerks]] ([[ScotPalazzo]]{{•}} [[Merried Seinor Comic]]{{•}} [[B-Manajerk]]{{•}} [[W-M-Manajerk]]){{•}} [[CADD Chef]]{{•}} [[Silvana Rosechu]]{{•}} [[Clawdorf]]{{•}} [[Wes_Iseli#Wes_Iseli_in_the_comic|Wes-Li Sonichu]] ([[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi rival]])

| group3 = Minor
| list3 = [[Allison Amber]]{{•}} [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]]{{•}} [[BlazeBob Sonichu|Blazebob]]{{•}} [[Chloe Rosechu|Chloe]]{{•}} [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]{{•}} [[Darkbind Sonichu|Darkbind]]{{•}} [[DJ Jamsta|Jamsta]]{{•}} [[Flame the Sunbird]]{{•}} [[Inos]]{{•}} [[Jiggliami]]{{•}} [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]]{{•}} [[Layla Flaaffy|Layla]]{{•}} [[Lolisa Rosechu|Lolisa]]{{•}} [[Lovely Weather]]{{•}} [[Megagi La Skunk]]{{•}} [[Mitch Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Patti-Chan]]{{•}} [[Reginald Sneasel]]{{•}} [[Sailor Megtune]]{{•}} [[Sandy Rosechu|Sandy]]{{•}} [[Sarah_Hammer#Sarah_in_the_comic|Saramah Rosechu]] ([[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]]){{•}} [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]{{•}} [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]]{{•}} [[Yawning Squirtle]]{{•}} [[Zapina]]{{•}} [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]]{{•}} [[List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu|Fictional guest appearances]]
}}

| group3 = Locations
| list3 = [[CWCville]]{{•}} [[RuleCWC]]

| group4 = Concepts
| list4 = [[Anchuent Prophecy]]{{•}} [[Chaos Emeralds]]{{•}} [[Cherokian Clan]] ([[Cherokian crown]]){{•}} [[Dark Mirror Hole]]{{•}} [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] ([[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]]{{•}} [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]){{•}} [[Legendary Master Sunstone]]{{•}} [[Love Quest]] ([[Heart Torch of Fail]]){{•}} [[Rainbow]]{{•}} [[S-Chu Ball]]{{•}} [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Sub-Episodes]]{{•}} [[Time Void]]

| group5 = In-depth analysis
| list5 = [[Chris and art]]{{•}} [[Chris and writing|Comic writing]]{{•}} [[Sonichu chronology|Chronology]]{{•}} [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics|Continuity]]{{•}} [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retcons]]

| group6 = [[Parody|Parodies]]
| list6 = ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]''{{•}} [[Audiobooks]]{{•}} ''[[Asperchu]]''{{•}} ''[[Moon-Pals]]''
}}
<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) placed at the bottom of Sonichu articles. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Template:Navbox subgroup

2012-07-13T02:54:06Z

Axe:

{{Navbox
|name = {{{name|}}}
|state = {{{state|}}}
|navbar = {{{navbar|}}}
|border = {{#if:{{{border|}}}|{{{border}}}|child}}

|title = {{{title|}}}
|above = {{{above|}}}
|below = {{{below|}}}
|image = {{{image|}}}
|imageleft = {{{imageleft|}}}
|groupwidth = {{{groupwidth|}}}

|group1 = {{#if:{{{group1|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group1}}}</div>}}
|group2 = {{#if:{{{group2|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group2}}}</div>}}
|group3 = {{#if:{{{group3|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group3}}}</div>}}
|group4 = {{#if:{{{group4|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group4}}}</div>}}
|group5 = {{#if:{{{group5|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group5}}}</div>}}
|group6 = {{#if:{{{group6|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group6}}}</div>}}
|group7 = {{#if:{{{group7|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group7}}}</div>}}
|group8 = {{#if:{{{group8|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group8}}}</div>}}
|group9 = {{#if:{{{group9|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group9}}}</div>}}
|group10 = {{#if:{{{group10|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group10}}}</div>}}
|group11 = {{#if:{{{group11|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group11}}}</div>}}
|group12 = {{#if:{{{group12|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group12}}}</div>}}
|group13 = {{#if:{{{group13|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group13}}}</div>}}
|group14 = {{#if:{{{group14|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group14}}}</div>}}
|group15 = {{#if:{{{group15|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group15}}}</div>}}
|group16 = {{#if:{{{group16|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group16}}}</div>}}
|group17 = {{#if:{{{group17|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group17}}}</div>}}
|group18 = {{#if:{{{group18|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group18}}}</div>}}
|group19 = {{#if:{{{group19|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group19}}}</div>}}
|group20 = {{#if:{{{group20|}}}|<div style="padding:{{{grouppadding|0em 0.75em;}}}">{{{group20}}}</div>}}

|list1 = {{{list1|}}}
|list2 = {{{list2|}}}
|list3 = {{{list3|}}}
|list4 = {{{list4|}}}
|list5 = {{{list5|}}}
|list6 = {{{list6|}}}
|list7 = {{{list7|}}}
|list8 = {{{list8|}}}
|list9 = {{{list9|}}}
|list10 = {{{list10|}}}
|list11 = {{{list11|}}}
|list12 = {{{list12|}}}
|list13 = {{{list13|}}}
|list14 = {{{list14|}}}
|list15 = {{{list15|}}}
|list16 = {{{list16|}}}
|list17 = {{{list17|}}}
|list18 = {{{list18|}}}
|list19 = {{{list19|}}}
|list20 = {{{list20|}}}

|style = margin: 0 -0.25em; {{{style|}}}{{{bodystyle|}}}
|imageleftstyle = {{{imageleftstyle|}}}
|imagestyle = {{{imagestyle|}}}
|titlestyle = {{{titlestyle|}}}
|basestyle = {{{basestyle|}}}
|abovestyle = {{{abovestyle|}}}
|belowstyle = {{{belowstyle|}}}
|groupstyle = padding-left:0em;padding-right:0em;{{{groupstyle|}}}
|liststyle = {{{liststyle|}}}
|evenstyle = {{{evenstyle|}}}
|oddstyle = {{{oddstyle|}}}

|group1style = {{{group1style|}}}
|group2style = {{{group2style|}}}
|group3style = {{{group3style|}}}
|group4style = {{{group4style|}}}
|group5style = {{{group5style|}}}
|group6style = {{{group6style|}}}
|group7style = {{{group7style|}}}
|group8style = {{{group8style|}}}
|group9style = {{{group9style|}}}
|group10style = {{{group10style|}}}
|group11style = {{{group11style|}}}
|group12style = {{{group12style|}}}
|group13style = {{{group13style|}}}
|group14style = {{{group14style|}}}
|group15style = {{{group15style|}}}
|group16style = {{{group16style|}}}
|group17style = {{{group17style|}}}
|group18style = {{{group18style|}}}
|group19style = {{{group19style|}}}
|group20style = {{{group20style|}}}

|list1style = {{{list1style|}}}
|list2style = {{{list2style|}}}
|list3style = {{{list3style|}}}
|list4style = {{{list4style|}}}
|list5style = {{{list5style|}}}
|list6style = {{{list6style|}}}
|list7style = {{{list7style|}}}
|list8style = {{{list8style|}}}
|list9style = {{{list9style|}}}
|list10style = {{{list10style|}}}
|list11style = {{{list11style|}}}
|list12style = {{{list12style|}}}
|list13style = {{{list13style|}}}
|list14style = {{{list14style|}}}
|list15style = {{{list15style|}}}
|list16style = {{{list16style|}}}
|list17style = {{{list17style|}}}
|list18style = {{{list18style|}}}
|list19style = {{{list19style|}}}
|list20style = {{{list20style|}}}

|{{#if:{{{evenodd|}}}|evenodd|void}} = {{{evenodd|}}}
|{{#if:{{{listpadding|}}}|listpadding|void}} = {{{listpadding|}}}

}}<noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is a metatemplate for constructing navigational templates. The format for using this template is as follows: 

<pre>{{Navbox subgroup

| group1 =
| list1 =

| group2 =
| list2 =

| group3 =
| list3 =
}}</pre>

[[Category:Metatemplates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Template:Navbox

2012-07-13T02:39:39Z

Axe:

{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child=|none=|#default=<nowiki/>
{{{!}} class="navbox" cellspacing="0" style="{{{bodystyle|}}};{{{style|}}}"
{{!}}-
{{!}} style="padding:2px;" {{!}} }}
{{{!}} cellspacing="0" class="nowraplinks {{#if:{{{title|}}}|{{#switch:{{{state|}}}|plain|off=|#default=collapsible {{#if:{{{state|}}}|{{{state|}}}|autocollapse}}}}}} {{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child|none=navbox-subgroup" style="width:100%;{{{bodystyle|}}};{{{style|}}}|#default=" style="width:100%;background:transparent;color:inherit}};{{{innerstyle|}}};" {{#if:{{{title|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{titlegroup|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{titlegroupstyle|}}}" {{!}} {{{titlegroup|}}}
! style="border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;width:100%;|<nowiki/>
! style="}}{{{basestyle|}}};{{{titlestyle|}}}" colspan={{#expr:2{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{image|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{titlegroup|}}}|-1}}}} class="navbox-title" {{!}} {{#if:{{#switch:{{{navbar|}}}|plain|off=1}} {{#if:{{{name|}}}||{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child|none=1}}}}| {{#ifeq:{{{navbar|}}}|off|{{#ifeq:{{{state|}}}|plain|<div style="float:right;width:6em;"> </div>}}| {{#ifeq:{{{state|}}}|plain||<div style="float:left; width:6em;text-align:left;"> </div>}}}}| <div style="float:left; width:6em;text-align:left;"> {{Tnavbar|{{{name}}}|fontstyle={{{basestyle|}}};{{{titlestyle|}}};border:none;|mini=1}} </div>{{#ifeq:{{{state|}}}|plain|<div style="float:right;width:6em;"> </div>}}}} {{{title}}} }}{{#if:{{{above|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px;"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}-
{{!}} class="navbox-abovebelow" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{abovestyle|}}}" colspan="{{#expr:2{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{image|}}}|+1}}}}" {{!}} {{{above}}} }}{{#if:{{{list1|}}}|{{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px;"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}-{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} style="width:0%;padding:0px 2px 0px 0px;{{{imageleftstyle|}}}" rowspan={{#expr:1{{#if:{{{list2|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list3|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list4|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list5|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list6|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list7|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list8|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list9|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list10|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list11|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list12|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list13|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list14|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list15|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list16|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list17|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list18|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list19|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list20|}}}|+2}}}} {{!}} {{{imageleft|}}} }}{{#if:{{{group1|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group1style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group1}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{oddstyle|}}};{{{list1style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{list1padding|{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}}}}">
{{{list1}}}</div>{{#if:{{{image|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} style="width:0%;padding:0px 0px 0px 2px;{{{imagestyle|}}}" rowspan={{#expr:1{{#if:{{{list2|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list3|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list4|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list5|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list6|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list7|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list8|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list9|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list10|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list11|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list12|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list13|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list14|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list15|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list16|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list17|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list18|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list19|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list20|}}}|+2}}}} {{!}} {{{image|}}} }} }}{{#if:{{{list2|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list1|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group2|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group2style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group2}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{!}}}{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child=|none=|#default=<nowiki/>
{{!}}} }}<noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is a metatemplate for constructing navigational templates. The format for using this template is as follows: 

<pre>{{Navbox
| name = Navbox/doc
| title = [[Sonichu|Dumb Navbox that's not really about Sonichu]]
| image = [[Image:Molvania_svg.png|80px|link=|alt=]]
| imageleft = [[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|80px]]
| group1 = Herp
| list1 = [[American Rabbit|Derp]]

| group2 = Genitals
| list2 = [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic]]{{•}} [[China]]

| group3 = Dumb ideas
| list3 = [[Patti|Dig up Patti]]{{•}} [[Chris and sex|Get Chris to have sex with a tranny]]{{•}} [[Liquid Chris|Let's all impersonate Chris like Liquid did!]]{{•}} [[Autism papers|Break into his house and steal the autism papers]]{{•}}[[Asperchu|E-mail Chris and pretend he created Asperchu]]{{•}} [[Chris and money|Let's get his SSI taken away!]]{{•}} [[Video|Make a "rant" video about Christian Weston Chandler]]

| group4 = What if...?
| list4 = [[Sonichu (comic)|What if Chris never created Sonichu?]]{{•}} [[Cwcville|What if Cwcville were REAL?]]{{•}} [[Chris|What if you woke up and YOU were Chris?]]{{•}} [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|What if Nick Fury fought World War II in Outer Space?]]

| group5 = Quotes from Transformers: The Movie
| list5 = [[Optimus Prime|One shall stand, one shall fall.]]{{•}} [[Megatron pistol|Why throw away your life so recklessly?]]{{•}} [[Optimus Prime|That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.]]
}}</pre>

-Displays: {{Navbox
| name = Navbox/doc
| title = [[Sonichu|Dumb Navbox that's not really about Sonichu]]
| image = [[Image:Molvania_svg.png|80px|link=|alt=]]
| imageleft = [[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|80px]]
| group1 = Herp
| list1 = [[American Rabbit|Derp]]

| group2 = Genitals
| list2 = [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic]]{{•}} [[China]]

| group3 = Dumb ideas
| list3 = [[Patti|Dig up Patti]]{{•}} [[Chris and sex|Get Chris to have sex with a tranny]]{{•}} [[Liquid Chris|Let's all impersonate Chris like Liquid did!]]{{•}} [[Autism papers|Break into his house and steal the autism papers]]{{•}}[[Asperchu|E-mail Chris and pretend he created Asperchu]]{{•}} [[Chris and money|Let's get his SSI taken away!]]{{•}} [[Video|Make a "rant" video about Christian Weston Chandler]]

| group4 = What if...?
| list4 = [[Sonichu (comic)|What if Chris never created Sonichu?]]{{•}} [[Cwcville|What if Cwcville were REAL?]]{{•}} [[Chris|What if you woke up and YOU were Chris?]]{{•}} [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|What if Nick Fury fought World War II in Outer Space?]]

| group5 = Quotes from Transformers: The Movie
| list5 = [[Optimus Prime|One shall stand, one shall fall.]]{{•}} [[Megatron pistol|Why throw away your life so recklessly?]]{{•}} [[Optimus Prime|That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.]]
}}

}}
[[Category:Metatemplates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

User:Axe/sandbox

2012-07-13T02:28:22Z

Axe:

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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group4style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group4}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list4style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list4}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list5|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list4|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group5|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group5style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group5}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list5style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list5}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list6|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list5|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group6|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group6style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group6}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list6style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list6|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list7|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list6|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group7|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group7style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group7}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list7style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list7|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list8|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list7|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group8|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group8style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group8}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list8style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list8|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list9|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list8|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group9|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group9style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group9}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list9style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list9|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list10|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list9|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group10|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group10style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group10}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list10style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list10|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list11|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list10|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group11|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group11style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group11}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list11style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list11|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list12|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list11|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group12|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group12style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group12}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list12style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list12|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list13|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list12|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group13|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group13style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group13}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list13style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list13|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list14|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list13|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group14|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group14style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group14}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list14style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list14|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list15|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list14|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group15|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group15style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group15}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list15style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list15|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list16|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list15|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group16|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group16style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group16}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list16style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list16|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list17|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list16|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group17|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group17style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group17}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list17style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list17|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list18|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list17|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group18|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group18style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group18}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list18style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list18|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list19|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list18|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group19|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group19style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group19}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list19style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list19|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{list20|}}}| {{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list19|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}- {{#if:{{{group20|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group20style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group20}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
{{!}} colspan=2 style="}} width:100%;padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list20style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}}" {{!}} <div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">{{{list20|}}}</div> }}{{#if:{{{below|}}}|{{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list1|}}}{{{list2|}}}{{{list3|}}}|<nowiki/>
{{!}}- style="height:2px;"
{{!}} }}
{{!}}-
{{!}} class="navbox-abovebelow" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{belowstyle|}}}" colspan="{{#expr:2{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{image|}}}|+1}}}}" {{!}} {{{below}}} }}
{{!}}}{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child=|none=|#default=<nowiki/>
{{!}}} }}

User:Axe/sandbox

2012-07-13T02:17:25Z

Axe: Created page with "{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child=</div>|none=|#default=<table cellspaci..."

{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child=</div>|none=|#default=<table cellspacing="0" class="navbox" style="border-spacing:0;{{{bodystyle|}}};{{{style|}}}"><tr><td style="padding:2px;">}}<table cellspacing="0" class="nowraplinks {{{bodyclass|}}} {{#if:{{{title|}}}|{{#switch:{{{state|}}}|plain|off=|#default=collapsible {{#if:{{{state|}}}|{{{state}}}|autocollapse}}}}}} {{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child|none=navbox-subgroup" style="border-spacing:0;{{{bodystyle|}}};{{{style|}}}|#default=navbox-inner" style="border-spacing:0;background:transparent;color:inherit}};{{{innerstyle|}}};">{{#if:{{{title|}}}|<tr>{{#if:{{{titlegroup|}}}|<th scope="row" class="navbox-group {{{titlegroupclass|}}}" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{titlegroupstyle|}}}">{{{titlegroup|}}}</th><th scope="col" style="border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;width:100%;|<th scope="col" style="}}{{{basestyle|}}};{{{titlestyle|}}}" class="navbox-title" colspan={{#expr:2{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{image|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{titlegroup|}}}|-1}}}}>{{#if:{{#switch:{{{navbar|}}}|plain|off=1}}{{#if:{{{name|}}}||{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child|none=1}}}}|{{#ifeq:{{{navbar|}}}|off|{{#ifeq:{{{state|}}}|plain| }}|{{#ifeq:{{{state|}}}|plain|| }}}}|{{#if:{{{name|}}}|{{Navbar|{{{name}}}|mini=1|fontstyle={{{basestyle|}}};{{{titlestyle|}}};background:none transparent;border:none;}}|Error: No name provided}}{{#ifeq:{{{state|}}}|plain| }}}}<div class="{{{titleclass|}}}" style="font-size:110%;">
{{{title}}}</div></th></tr>}}{{#if:{{{above|}}}|{{#if:{{{title|}}}|<tr style="height:2px;"><td></td></tr>}}<tr><td class="navbox-abovebelow {{{aboveclass|}}}" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{abovestyle|}}}" colspan="{{#expr:2{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{image|}}}|+1}}}}"><div>
{{{above}}}</div></td></tr>}}{{#if:{{{list1|}}}|{{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}|<tr style="height:2px;"><td></td></tr>}}<tr>{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|<td class="navbox-image {{{imageclass|}}}" style="width:0%;padding:0px 2px 0px 0px;{{{imageleftstyle|}}}" rowspan={{#expr:1{{#if:{{{list2|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list3|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list4|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list5|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list6|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list7|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list8|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list9|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list10|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list11|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list12|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list13|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list14|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list15|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list16|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list17|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list18|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list19|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list20|}}}|+2}}}}><div>
{{{imageleft}}}</div></td>}}{{#if:{{{group1|}}}|<th scope="row" class="navbox-group {{{groupclass|}}}" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}|width:{{{groupwidth}}};}}{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group1style|}}}">{{{group1}}}</th><td style="text-align:left;border-left-width:2px;border-left-style:solid;|<td colspan=2 style="}}{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}||width:100%;}}padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{oddstyle|}}};{{{list1style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}} {{{listclass|}}}"><div style="padding:{{{list1padding|{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}}}}">
{{{list1}}}</div></td>{{#if:{{{image|}}}|<td class="navbox-image {{{imageclass|}}}" style="width:0%;padding:0px 0px 0px 2px;{{{imagestyle|}}}" rowspan={{#expr:1{{#if:{{{list2|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list3|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list4|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list5|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list6|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list7|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list8|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list9|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list10|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list11|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list12|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list13|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list14|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list15|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list16|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list17|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list18|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list19|}}}|+2}}{{#if:{{{list20|}}}|+2}}}}><div>
{{{image}}}</div></td>}}</tr>}}{{#if:{{{list2|}}}|{{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list1|}}}|<tr style="height:2px"><td></td></tr>}}<tr>{{#if:{{{group2|}}}|<th scope="row" class="navbox-group {{{groupclass|}}}" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}|width:{{{groupwidth}}};}}{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group2style|}}}">{{{group2}}}</th><td style="text-align:left;border-left-width:2px;border-left-style:solid;|<td colspan=2 style="}}{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}||width:100%;}}padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list2style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}} {{{listclass|}}}"><div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list2}}}</div></td></tr>}}{{#if:{{{list3|}}}|{{#if:{{{title|}}}{{{above|}}}{{{list1|}}}{{{list2|}}}|<tr style="height:2px"><td></td></tr>}}<tr>{{#if:{{{group3|}}}|<th scope="row" class="navbox-group {{{groupclass|}}}" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}|width:{{{groupwidth}}};}}{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group3style|}}}">{{{group3}}}</th><td style="text-align:left;border-left-width:2px;border-left-style:solid;|<td colspan=2 style="}}{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}||width:100%;}}padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{oddstyle|}}};{{{list3style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}} {{{listclass|}}}"><div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list3}}}</div></td></tr>}}{{#if:{{{list4|}}}|<tr style="height:2px"><td></td></tr><tr>{{#if:{{{group4|}}}|<th scope="row" class="navbox-group {{{groupclass|}}}" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}|width:{{{groupwidth}}};}}{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group4style|}}}">{{{group4}}}</th><td style="text-align:left;border-left-width:2px;border-left-style:solid;|<td colspan=2 style="}}{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}||width:100%;}}padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list4style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}} {{{listclass|}}}"><div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list4}}}</div></td></tr>}}{{#if:{{{list5|}}}|<tr style="height:2px"><td></td></tr><tr>{{#if:{{{group5|}}}|<th scope="row" class="navbox-group {{{groupclass|}}}" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}|width:{{{groupwidth}}};}}{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group5style|}}}">{{{group5}}}</th><td style="text-align:left;border-left-width:2px;border-left-style:solid;|<td colspan=2 style="}}{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}||width:100%;}}padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{oddstyle|}}};{{{list5style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}} {{{listclass|}}}"><div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list5}}}</div></td></tr>}}{{#if:{{{list6|}}}|<tr style="height:2px"><td></td></tr><tr>{{#if:{{{group6|}}}|<th scope="row" class="navbox-group {{{groupclass|}}}" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}|width:{{{groupwidth}}};}}{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group6style|}}}">{{{group6}}}</th><td style="text-align:left;border-left-width:2px;border-left-style:solid;|<td colspan=2 style="}}{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}||width:100%;}}padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{evenstyle|}}};{{{list6style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|odd|{{{evenodd|even}}}}} {{{listclass|}}}"><div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
{{{list6}}}</div></td></tr>}}{{#if:{{{list7|}}}|<tr style="height:2px"><td></td></tr><tr>{{#if:{{{group7|}}}|<th scope="row" class="navbox-group {{{groupclass|}}}" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}|width:{{{groupwidth}}};}}{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group7style|}}}">{{{group7}}}</th><td style="text-align:left;border-left-width:2px;border-left-style:solid;|<td colspan=2 style="}}{{#if:{{{groupwidth|}}}||width:100%;}}padding:0px;{{{liststyle|}}};{{{oddstyle|}}};{{{list7style|}}}" class="navbox-list navbox-{{#ifeq:{{{evenodd|}}}|swap|even|{{{evenodd|odd}}}}} {{{listclass|}}}"><div style="padding:{{{listpadding|0em 0.25em}}}">
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Template:Sonichu

2012-07-13T01:46:03Z

Axe:

{{Navbox
| name = Sonichu
| title =''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''

| group1 = Issues
| list1 = '''Standard:''' [[Sonichu 0|#0]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 1|#1]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 2|#2]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 3|#3]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 4|#4]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 5|#5]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 6|#6]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 7|#7]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 8|#8]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 9|#9]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 10|#10]] ([[Book10Replacement|Replacement]]){{•}} ''[[Sonichu 11|#11]]''{{•}} ''[[Sonichu 12|#12]]'' '''Special:''' [[Sonichu Special 1|#1]]{{•}} [[Wedding Comic|#2]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic|#3]]{{•}} [[Sonichu Special 4|#4]] '''[[Official Videobooks|Videobooks]]:''' [[Sonichu 0 Official Videobook|#0]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook|#1]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 2 Official Videobook|#2]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 3 Official Videobook|#3]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook|#4]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 5 Official Videobook|#5]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 6 Official Videobook|#6]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 7 Official Videobook|#7]]{{•}} [[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook|#8]]{{•}} ''[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook|#9]]''{{•}} ''[[Book10Replacement|#10]]''

| group2 = [[List of Sonichu characters|Characters]]
| list2 = '''Protagonists:''' [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] ([[Ultra Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Metonic]]){{•}} [[Rosechu]] ([[The Incredible Lioness]]{{•}} [[Vamprosa]]){{•}} [[Blake]]{{•}} [[Chaotic Combo]] ([[Angelica Rosechu]]{{•}} [[Bubbles Rosechu]]{{•}} [[Magi-Chan]]{{•}} [[Punchy Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Wild Sonichu]]){{•}} [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]]{{•}} [[Collosal Chan]])

'''Villains:''' [[Count Graduon]]{{•}} [[Mary Lee Walsh]]{{•}} [[Giovanni]]{{•}} [[Doctor Robotnik]]{{•}} [[Metal Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]{{•}} [[Decepti-Clones]]{{•}} [[Trolls]] ([[Asperchu#Trial_and_execution_of_Asperpedia_staff|''Asperchu'' Four]]{{•}} [[CChanSonichuCWC#In_the_Comics|IBAChandler]]{{•}} [[Clyde#In_the_comic|Cly(de)]]{{•}} [[Jack_Thaddeus#In_the_Comics|Jack]]{{•}} [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]){{•}} [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] ([[Bagget]]{{•}}
[[Jerkhief]]){{•}} [[Manajerks]] ([[ScotPalazzo]]{{•}} [[Merried Seinor Comic]]{{•}} [[B-Manajerk]]{{•}} [[W-M-Manajerk]]){{•}} [[CADD Chef]]{{•}} [[Silvana Rosechu]]{{•}} [[Clawdorf]]{{•}} [[Wes_Iseli#Wes_Iseli_in_the_comic|Wes-Li Sonichu]] ([[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi rival]])

'''Minor characters:''' [[Allison Amber]]{{•}} [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]]{{•}} [[BlazeBob Sonichu|Blazebob]]{{•}} [[Chloe Rosechu|Chloe]]{{•}} [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]{{•}} [[Darkbind Sonichu|Darkbind]]{{•}} [[DJ Jamsta|Jamsta]]{{•}} [[Flame the Sunbird]]{{•}} [[Inos]]{{•}} [[Jiggliami]]{{•}} [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]]{{•}} [[Layla Flaaffy|Layla]]{{•}} [[Lolisa Rosechu|Lolisa]]{{•}} [[Lovely Weather]]{{•}} [[Megagi La Skunk]]{{•}} [[Mitch Sonichu]]{{•}} [[Patti-Chan]]{{•}} [[Reginald Sneasel]]{{•}} [[Sailor Megtune]]{{•}} [[Sandy Rosechu|Sandy]]{{•}} [[Sarah_Hammer#Sarah_in_the_comic|Saramah Rosechu]] ([[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]]){{•}} [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]{{•}} [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]]{{•}} [[Yawning Squirtle]]{{•}} [[Zapina]]{{•}} [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]]{{•}} [[List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu|Fictional guest appearances]]

| group3 = Locations
| list3 = [[CWCville]]{{•}} [[RuleCWC]]

| group4 = Concepts
| list4 = [[Anchuent Prophecy]]{{•}} [[Chaos Emeralds]]{{•}} [[Cherokian Clan]] ([[Cherokian crown]]){{•}} [[Dark Mirror Hole]]{{•}} [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] ([[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]]{{•}} [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]){{•}} [[Legendary Master Sunstone]]{{•}} [[Love Quest]] ([[Heart Torch of Fail]]){{•}} [[Rainbow]]{{•}} [[S-Chu Ball]]{{•}} [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Sub-Episodes]]{{•}} [[Time Void]]

| group5 = In-depth analysis
| list5 = [[Chris and art]]{{•}} [[Chris and writing|Comic writing]]{{•}} [[Sonichu chronology|Chronology]]{{•}} [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics|Continuity]]{{•}} [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retcons]]

| group6 = [[Parody|Parodies]]
| list6 = ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]''{{•}} [[Audiobooks]]{{•}} ''[[Asperchu]]''{{•}} ''[[Moon-Pals]]''
}}
<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) placed at the bottom of Sonichu articles. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

YouTube

2012-07-13T01:25:54Z

Axe: {{The Internet}} List of Christian's comments on Youtube

{{quote|no description available|YouTube's official (and very appropriate) response to many of Chris's videos}}

[[Image:Youtubehacked.jpg|thumb|Chris's original YouTube channel, after it was hacked.]]
[[Image:Happybday.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and his Ego|Chris commenting on a video thinking it was meant for him.]]]]

'''YouTube''' is the primary arena in the online world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], who has occasionally called it "the YouTube". Although his website may get hacked and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] might crash and [[110mb]] will suck balls, YouTube.com is always up and operational, and, up until his "final departure from the Internet" in 2010, Chris was always producing new [[Captain's Log]] [[videos]] and reacting to the videos of his [[trolls|friends]] and [[trolls|enemies]].

For Chris, YouTube is not merely a way to post videos dedicated to his alleged adoring [[fanbase]] and issue broad condemnations of trolling; it is also a communication channel. Chris has posted several videos on his YouTube channel that he apparently believes will be only viewed by the people he addressed the videos to – and that they'll view the video even when they haven't been made aware of Chris's channel. He has addressed individual trolls, individual alleged fans, [[sweetheart]]s and especially former sweethearts, journalists<ref>[[10 September 2009]]</ref> and TV shows<ref>[[For G4s Web Soup]]</ref><ref>[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|''Cleveland Show'' Voice Rant]]</ref>, local business managers<ref>[[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]</ref> and other people within driving distance of his house. As of [[2009]], Chris is wary of email and other text-based forms of communication, having been burned by alleged sweethearts who turned out to have [[pickle]]s. In order to satisfy his ever-inflating [[ego]], he searches videos labeled "Chris-chan".

There's a certain beauty to the way Chris's videos are displayed to the world: The videos he wants the world to see end up on YouTube. The videos he reconsiders and deletes also end up on YouTube. The videos he sends privately to trusted [[gal pal]]s end up on YouTube. The videos he makes depicting himself in the nude usually get taken down from YouTube, but that's what SlutLoad is for. A high priority among the internet bullies is to archive every video Chris has ever made, which is fairly challenging since Chris will often DELETE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING when he thinks he's embarrassed himself or left himself open to attack.

Luckily, [[Arjen Van Dierten]] archived them on his YouTube account for prosperity of future [[lulz]]. As he has retired from this duty, [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] (and several unrelated YouTubers) save Chris's videos for future generations.

==Video quality (or lack thereof)==

{{main|Chris and cinematography}}

[[Image:camerawork1.png|thumb|left|C'mon! You can TOTALLY see his face!]]

When viewing one of Chris's videos, one of the first things the viewer will notice is the '''excruciatingly''' poor quality of his video. One of his major flaws as a cameraman is lighting; any amateur cinematographer would know that if he's recording a video indoors, he would turn the lights on, but Chris doesn't adhere to this basic rule. As a result, almost all videos recorded indoors have a sickly greenish-yellow tinge to them. Also, due to this, almost every video suffers from blurriness thanks to the lack of proper lighting.

Whenever Chris is recording, he seems to fail to grasp the basic object of "focus"; to make sure that the camera is appropriately trained on whatever it is he is trying to film. As such, whenever he is filming, he is often way out of center. It also doesn't help that he often adjusts the camera angle without regards to what his audience will see, which means that you can't even see what it is he's filming. For a very good example, when Chris was [[Secret Weapon|gloating]] about the picture of [[Clyde Cash]] he had found online, he was holding it far too close to the camera's lens, so that you never really do get to look at the picture as a whole.

Chris also seems to lack any basic video editing skills, be it pre- or post-production. Whenever he needs to put text in a video, he chooses to write it down on a piece of paper and record it with his camera. Almost any basic video editing software, even [[Wikipedia:Windows Movie Maker|Windows Movie Maker]], has an option to display computer-generated text within the video and in the occasions that he needs to insert a TV clip, he instead opts to record directly from the TV screen, even though it would be far more prudent to insert the clips in via editing.<ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref>

What makes this all pathetic is that [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Chris chooses to blame these flaws on his equipment]], when anyone as devoted to video blogging as himself would choose a far superior and more devoted option than the [[PSEye]] camera, and buy the basic essentials such as a tripod, as well as some decent video editing software such as [[Wikipedia:Sony Vegas|Sony Vegas]]. But that would leave him without money to spend on [[Sex toys|other things]].

==Chris's YouTube accounts==

===Sonichu ([[May 2007]] - [[September 2008]])===
Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL YouTube account was [http://www.youtube.com/user/Sonichu Sonichu], created on 08 May 2007. The account originally served to host the trailer for his [[DVD]], his [[Future Message]], and the clips of himself on the evening news.

Following his discovery of the ED page in [[November 2007]], Chris began using the account to post videos arguing against ED's [[Laughs Under Lucricities]], and by [[August 2008]] it had become the base of operations for his war against all of ED. The Sonichu account was hacked during a massive ED counteroffensive on 11 September; Chris deleted the account, apparently hoping to escape from the trolls under a new username.

===CChan6789 ([[September 2008]] - [[March 2009]])===
Chris created [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChan6789 CChan6789] on 18 September 2008, and abandoned it on 30 March 2009. This account saw many of the most famous and classic Chris-chan moments, including him [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]] and [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|raging at Clyde Cash for the first time]]. Amazingly, CChan6789 remains open with several videos still intact. According to his [[Jackie e-mails|talks with Jackie]], the only reason this account was lost was because Chris lost his password and he didn't realize that there's a ''password recovery'' function.

===CChanSonichu ([[April 2009]] - [[July 2009]])===
Although Chris abandoned CChan6789 with the intent of preventing the trolls from having new footage to mock him with, Chris returned with [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichu CChanSonichu] on 09 April 2009. This account saw even more classic Chris moments, such as him [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|admitting to drinking his jizz]]. The account was hacked on 05 June 2009, although Chris subsequently regained access and posted [[The July 10th Messages|three insulting and threatening videos]] which caused the account to be suspended on 11 July.

===IBAChandler ([[July 2009]] - [[August 2009]])===
Rather than attempt to reactivate CChanSonichu or simply reuse CChan6789, Chris immediately created [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAChandler IBAChandler] on 11 July 2009. This new username confused many faggots, requiring Chris to slowly explain thousands of times that "IBAChandler" is a pun meaning "I be a Chandler," as in "I, Christian, am one of the Chandlers."

Chris's initial use of the IBAChandler account was to post [[Rollin' and Trollin'|a video with his new look]], claiming he was and had always been a troll posing as an autistic manchild. This resulted in the narrative that the owner of IBAChandler was an impostor named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], and that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] was in fact the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler.

===ChristianWChandler ([[August 2009]] - present)===
To dispel the claims he's Ian Brandon Anderson, Chris made a new account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristianWChandler ChristianWChandler], which makes it clear (or so he believes) that he is Christian Weston Chandler. There is, however, no proof that he ever worked as a sacristan, or any other type of a Christian WC handler.

On 22 [[November 2010]], Chris uploaded a [[100 2357.MOV|video]] in which he announces his departure from the [[Internet]] again. After uploading this video, Chris removed all his other videos from his ChristianWChandler account, not to update again for little more than 2/3 of a year. However, after a string of [[Calling Out|blackmail videos]], Chris's account was stricken again.

===ClydeGreggCashMays ([[October 2009]] - [[November 2009]]) ===
Apparently very vaguely aware that YouTube accounts that are used for blackmailing people tend to get shut down, Chris created [http://www.youtube.com/user/ClydeGreggCashMays ClydeGreggCashMays] to post his blackmail videos of Clyde Cash, so that in the unlikely event of YouTube noticing these prohibited activities, his main account won't get shut down. However, due to the fact that Chris's blackmailing scheme lacked any chance of success in the first place, nobody gave a damn. (The first time YouTube [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|actually reacted]] to Chris's TOS violations happened over year and a half later, during his second blackmail saga - and Chris posted these videos on his bright and shiny and law-abiding ChristianWChandler account.)

===CWCvilleProductions ([[August 2011]] - present)===
Operated by a third party, [http://www.youtube.com/CWCvilleProductions CWCvilleProductions] emerged in late [[August 2011]] as a result of Chris being banned from Youtube.

===CwcvilleGuardian ([[February 2012]] - present)===

While [http://www.youtube.com/user/CwcvilleGuardian CwcvilleGuardian] was initally created by Chris to post a comment, it has since primarily been used to favorite [[My Little Pony]], [[The Simpsons]], [[video game]] and [[Chris and his ego|his own]] videos. No videos have been uploaded to this account by Chris as yet.

Curiously, he has added several videos from [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] in his playlists, ignoring how their titles openly mock him.

==See also==
*[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube]]
*[[Chris and cinematography]]
*[[List of videos]]
*[[Captain's Log]]
*[[PSEye]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheCWCvilleLibrary The CWCville Library]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg Vivian's home of the audiobooks.]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC The real Christian Weston Chandler's YT account.]</s> Account Closed, Presumably by [[Liquid]].

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:Websites]]

List of Christian's comments on Youtube

2012-07-13T01:24:49Z

Axe: {{The Internet}}

==List of Comments==
===[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw episode 200 - the game place]===
'''ChristianWChandler''': ''Hey, Vivian. I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" Parody; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY! You ought to know I like "South Park", especially the less dramatic, more comical episodes. ROFL''

'''ChristianWChandler''': ''Actually, there is ONE more thing you could to just make this a TOPPER of a Comical Scene; I gave him the finger as I left for real, so add a Sit-And-Spin in the silence right before the final insult. ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL''

===Happy B-day Chris===
'''CChanSonichu''': ''If you meant me, Christian Weston Chandler, my birthday was on FEBRUARY 24.''

==See also==
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Lists]]

User:Apostrophe/Chris-Chan talk

2012-07-13T01:23:43Z

Axe: {{The Internet}} Category:Historical Documents

== For Those Trying To Handle This Maturely ==

You're wasting your time. Take a look at any situation this manchild has ever been involved in, they're all well documented. There really is no purpose to trying to be polite and explain why he can't have what he wants here, despite it being in clear violation of plenty of Wikipedia rules. All that is going to register in his head is that he's not getting what he wants, therefore you're all a bunch of jerks, you hate Autistics, etc etc.

Not trying to be a prick or be funny here, it's truth. I'm looking at all the polite, detailed stuff written below and..... its a good effort, but he will not read one word of it. Lock this page up and throw away the key forever, or you got one hell of a headache on your hands. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/72.87.101.74|72.87.101.74]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:72.87.101.74|talk]]) 12:49, 4 May 2009 (UTC) 

The above poster is correct, i´ve been following this manchild for a while, dont bother trying to explain it to him . he wont understand or he doesn´t want too understand it. he will just say your a jerk hating on him because of his autism. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/77.248.72.121|77.248.72.121]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:77.248.72.121|talk]]) 17:07, 4 May 2009 (UTC) 

Possibly so. But this is a matter of principle - we, as the Wikipedia user community, are supposed to give every contributor a chance. I've seen plenty of people who started by blowing their own horn and turned into productive contributors. Then again, I can't help but to feel more than a mite bit pessimistic, considering Chris' history, and what he posted below. Chris - we ''are'' cutting you some slack right here. ''Massive'' amounts of it. But becoming a productive user is up to ''you,'' and like in all cases, there ''is'' a limit to what the community can take. --''[[Wikipedia:User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Wwwwolf|barks]]/[[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/Wwwwolf|growls]]) 18:55, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
:*Wwwwolf: Telling Chris that being productive is up to him is equivalent to telling him not to do anything. No matter what we expect from him, he will expect us to welcome him like a king. -- [[Wikipedia:User:Da nuke|Da nuke]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Da nuke|talk]]) 19:09, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

There's not much else that can be said other than to heavily monitor Chris' actions on Wikipedia. I agree with Wwwwolf that everyone deserves a chance however supervised probation is probably the best action at this point. [[Wikipedia:User:Lusanders|Lusanders]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Lusanders|talk]]) 19:05, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
:* I can already see him failing it, but just for the sake of being a free encyclopedia available to everyone and anyone, let's put him in probation. -- [[Wikipedia:User:Da nuke|Da nuke]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Da nuke|talk]]) 19:12, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

==CWC's Response==
Dear Sir/Madam,

LOOK, I do not have the appropriate calm state of mind to make time to READ those numerous upon numerous small-print details, much less memorize them. I have had a LOT of SLANDEROUS TWISTS OF MY OWN WORDS done unto me in the past SOO MUCH, it is HARDEST for me to get a job in a place that does background checks, only to find that cursed E.D. Page those EVIL TROLLS created against me at the TOP of the list.

I started my OWN Wikipedia page to hopefully counter that and better the people's General Understand of the Noble Gentleman I truly am. I SPENT HOURS, recalling MEMORY after MEMORY to type up the HONEST-TO-GOD TRUTH.

I DO NOT CARE about the erroneous listings or false information listed on other pages; I ONLY WISH TO TELL THE TRUTH AND SPREAD IT ON THE INTERNET.

Plus, I have Vanessa Anne Hudgens as an honest, very close Gal-Pal, and you know very well how powerful she is as a STAR.

I have created a video on YouTube respectfully asking to leave my Wikipedia ALONE with MY HONEST TRUTH from MY OWN High-Functioning Autistic Head; my LOYAL FANBASE will be sending you letters.

UNDO YOUR DELETION, PLEASE.

--[[Wikipedia:User:ChrisChanSonichu|Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:ChrisChanSonichu#top|talk]]) 01:25, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

*Chris, you may want to address this to the people you actually deleted your page. Fortunately you've been able to recreate your page but it's best to address this to the admin(s) who deleted your page before, that way they can see it. --[[Wikipedia:User:Champthom|Champthom]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Champthom|talk]]) 01:42, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

**Found them. They are [[Wikipedia:User:PeterSymonds|User:PeterSymonds]] and [[Wikipedia:User:slakr|User:slakr]]. You may wish to address your concerns to these people. --[[Wikipedia:User:Champthom|Champthom]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Champthom|talk]]) 01:49, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Regardless of any details of relevance, respect is something that must be earned rather than simply demanded. Going to a website, ignoring its rules, then threatening them when the ignored rules lead to one's post being removed and claiming that other people will somehow punish Wikipedia, those aren't the acts of a person deserving of respect. Nor are they the acts of a good Christian. A person making so much noise about Jesus may want to put more thought about what Jesus would be doing in his position before he says or does things. -[[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/96.253.115.181|96.253.115.181]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:96.253.115.181|talk]]) 07:09, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

==Some articles you may be interested in monitoring==
*Welcome to Wikipedia, Chris! Obviously you're quite popular amongst some [[Wikipedia:Wikipedians|Wikipedians]] such as myself and some zealous fans of yours have decided to add you to the list of famous people from [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]. You have also been added to the site for [[Manchester High School]] though you are erroneously listed as "spokesman for [[Fanta]]." Unfortunately, there are trolls here who inappropriately add false information on the [[Jimmy Hill]] page (attributing Mr. Hill as the true creator of Sonichu) and [[Wikipedia:Chris Chan Lee|Chris Chan Lee]] (confusing you with Mr. Lee). I know you're familiar with Wiki editing, but it helps to have a basic understanding of how Wikipedia works (as it's a lot different from that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]) by looking over this brief summary of [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Wikipedia_in_brief|what Wikipedia is about]]. Good luck to you Chris, and I wish you the best of luck in Wiki editing. --[[Wikipedia:User:Champthom|Champthom]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Champthom|talk]]) 15:25, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
**Also Chris, you may be interested in checking out [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Userboxes|userboxes]]. They're neat little things you can add to your userpage to make it look cooler (you can look at my userpage for examples). It'll make you look like a real regular Wikipedia user and you'll be listed with other Wikipedians who have the same interests! --[[Wikipedia:User:Champthom|Champthom]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Champthom|talk]]) 00:32, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
*Also welcome on my part, Chris. Having looked at what you've done (and peeked at your deleted user page), I think it's time for a bit of my usual newbie admonishment/encouragement: we ''all'' come here and begin stacking up stuff in our user pages and and think about writing articles about ourselves (well, I didn't do the latter, but a ''surprising'' number of people seem to do that)... but that's not where the ''real'' fun in Wikipedia can be found. Since you undoubtedly know heck of a lot about video games, how about helping us out with video game articles? Take a look at [[Wikipedia:WP:WPCVG|WikiProject Video Games]], or just peek around any articles that interest you and improve them. Easy, fun, and I can't remember the last time we saw any bigger conflict among the editors (apart of the [[Wikipedia:WP:LAME|really ''really'' lame conflicts]]). If you want a nice and fun hobby and a chance to better yourself and the world, this could be one precious chance to do so. --''[[Wikipedia:User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Wwwwolf|barks]]/[[Special:Contributions/Wwwwolf|growls]]) 21:20, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Hi chris you are an awesome peson please finish your comics [[Wikipedia:User:Jasongraves1|Jasongraves1]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Jasongraves1|talk]]) 01:15, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

== Welcome! ==

[[Image:Chocolate chip cookies.jpg|thumb|300px|Some cookies to welcome you! [[Image:Face-grin.png|25px]]]] [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Welcoming committee/Welcome to Wikipedia|Welcome to Wikipedia]], ChrisChanSonichu! I am [[Wikipedia:User:Abce2|Abce2]] and have been editing Wikipedia for quite some time. I just wanted to say hi and welcome you to Wikipedia! If you have any questions, feel free to leave me a message on [[Wikipedia:User talk:Abce2|my talk page]] or by typing {{[[Wikipedia:Template:helpme|helpme]]}} at the bottom of this page. I love to help new users, so don't be afraid to leave a message! I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are some pages that you might find helpful:
* [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Introduction|Introduction]]
* [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Five pillars|The five pillars of Wikipedia]]
* [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:How to edit a page|How to edit a page]]
* [[Wikipedia:Help:Contents|Help pages]]
* [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Article development|How to write a great article]]
* [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Manual of Style|Manual of Style]]
I hope you enjoy editing here and being a [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Wikipedians|Wikipedian]]! Oh yeah, I almost forgot, when you post on [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Talk page|talk pages]] you should [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Sign your posts on talk pages|sign your name]] on talk pages using four tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>); that should automatically produce your username and the date after your post.
If you need help, check out [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Questions|Wikipedia:Questions]], ask me on [[Wikipedia:User talk:Abce2|my talk page]], or place {{[[Wikipedia:Template:helpme|helpme]]}} on your talk page and ask your question there. Again, welcome!

[[Wikipedia:User:Abce2|Abce2]]|[[Wikipedia:User talk:Abce2|''How'']][[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/Abce2|''dy!'']] 02:13, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

== Relation to [[Anne Boleyn]] ==

I saw your YouTube video, and so even if you are distantly related to Anne Boleyn, this does not in itself make you [[Wikipedia:WP:BIO|notable]] for inclusion in Wikipedia. It's also not [[Wikipedia:WP:V|verifiable]] without a source, and notability is [[Wikipedia:WP:NOTINHERITED|not inherited]] through relations to notable individuals.--[[Wikipedia:User:Yo Dawg! What's Going On Today?|Yo Dawg! What's Going On Today?]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Yo Dawg! What's Going On Today?|talk]]) 02:17, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

He's not related to Anne Boleyn. Nobody except her daughter, Queen Elizabeth I, is or was related to Anne Boleyn. Elizabeth died a virgin, thus Anne Boleyn's lineage died with her. I still vote to keep this page up. Chris Chan is e-famous enough to merit a Wikipedia page, I should think. [[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/24.131.122.166|24.131.122.166]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:24.131.122.166|talk]]) 02:31, 4 May 2009 (UTC)Sonichu Fan

:He could be related to her indirectly through her ancestors, through different lineage. I'm not talking descendants.--[[Wikipedia:User:Yo Dawg! What's Going On Today?|Yo Dawg! What's Going On Today?]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Yo Dawg! What's Going On Today?|talk]]) 02:33, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

That wouldn't make him an ancestor of hers, in any case. Ancestry implies direct lineage. That, and I'm pretty sure that he's lying in any case. [[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/24.131.122.166|24.131.122.166]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:24.131.122.166|talk]]) 02:49, 4 May 2009 (UTC)Sonichu Fan
:Whatever the case, welcome to Wikipedia, here's some [[Wikipedia:Gherkin|gherkin]]s to welcome you.--[[Wikipedia:User:Yo Dawg! What's Going On Today?|Yo Dawg! What's Going On Today?]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Yo Dawg! What's Going On Today?|talk]]) 03:12, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
[[File:PicklingCucumbers.jpg|thumb|300px|Some gherkins to welcome you.]] —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[Wikipedia:User:Nite Owl II|Nite Owl II]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Nite Owl II|talk]] • [[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/Nite Owl II|contribs]]) 20:54, 4 May 2009 (UTC) 

==ANI==
Hello. This message is being sent to inform you that there is currently a discussion at [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/IncidentArchive534#User:ChrisChanSonichu Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents] regarding an issue with which you may have been involved. The discussion is about the topic [[Wikipedia:WP:ANI|Wikipedia:Ani]]. Thank you. [[Wikipedia:User:Toddst1|Toddst1]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk: Toddst1|talk]]) 03:37, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

==Hey==
Don't let the trolls hold you down Chris, in reality everyone loves Sonichu. We want to learn more about your life story, it's very interesting. - [[Wikipedia:User:Nite Owl II| '''Nite Owl''']] [[Wikipedia:User talk:Nite Owl II| '''II''']] 03:47, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

:Yes, don't listen to all of these jerks, Chris! Your loyal fans are on your side. [[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/76.95.40.6|76.95.40.6]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:76.95.40.6|talk]]) 12:59, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

== User page ==

Hey Chris. I've deleted your user page, as you can see from the [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&type=delete&user=Protonk&page=User%3AChrisChanSonichu&year=&month=-1&tagfilter= deletion log]. I don't want this to become a locus for future drama and I don't think that it is an appropriate [[Wikipedia:WP:UP#NOT|use of userspace]]. Normally I wouldn't delete this unilaterally (especially after it had been deleted and recreated twice before), but I don't want this issue to get any more complicated than it needs to be. You are welcome to Wikipedia, but I would hope that you avoid actions which would bring people who want to troll you (and others) to this site. Please contact me here or on my talk page if there is a problem. If you feel that the deletion was inappropriate, you are free to request that it be reversed at [[Wikipedia:WP:DRV|deletion review]]. Thank you and I'm sorry for the trouble. [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:User:Protonk|Protonk]] ([[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:User talk:Protonk|talk]]) 03:58, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

== Hi Chris! ==

Glad to see you've made it to Wikipedia! I'm hoping all this drama blows over so you can get to making proper, quality edits like I know you can. [[Wikipedia:User:That Thing There|3xT]] [[Wikipedia:User talk:That Thing There|Talk at me!]] 4 May, 2009 00:22 GMT-5

== I'm going to assume you're the real Chris-chan when telling you all this... ==

I'm going to assume you're the real Chris-chan when telling you all this...

You can't add links to your userpage as examples in Wikipedia articles. You first need a wikipedia article and wikipedia is really picky about notability, especially for articles. You'd need to be in a notable physical newspaper multiple times or on non-internet television to qualify to keep your article would end up getting deleted.

I call myself a loyal sonichu fan but like all such fans, we're not fans of sonichu, but of you. You have a talent for being seriously funny. However, you are squandering it and I say this to be helpful, not offensive. First of all, your goal should be to become a youtube partner, which means a paying job and a career. Your only other way for a career is to spend a long time, a lot of work, and a lot of money going through college only to find out that all employers are assholes and there's no jobs anywhere -- that's what happened to me. If you become a Youtube partner, you may eventually end up on real television like [[Wikipedia:LisaNova|LisaNova]] did.

Now for being a youtube partner, you need an actual strong password as your websites keep getting broken into. It should have letters and numbers. It should be as long as the site lets you and be the result of hitting random keys on the keyboard, not a real word. Then write it down somewhere and hide it so no one ever sees it. Next, connect the account to an email address you don't tell to anyone, absolutely no one and make the email address's password the same way. Also make all the answers to secret questions not real answers, which people know when you're famous, but just make the answers completely unrelated, random words, and write them down. Check out the password recovery system on youtube and your email address and if it asks for your real info to recover it (stuff people already know) then change it with fake info and write all the fake info down.

Next, when you switched youtube accounts, recently, I hope you kept them linked from the same main account so youtube can see your stats. Secondly, do not delete a single video until you're a partner. More videos means more views, means more chance of being a youtube partner. You should also re-upload every video you've ever made (except ones against the youtube TOS like the nude ones) to your new youtube account and in the youtube description, write the date it was made so people aren't confused. In fact, edit all your descriptions to have the date. It's nice at least you start videos with "Captains Log", but sometimes you don't and even if you do, who wants to spend time loading bunch of video to find out if it's new or not? There's also various archives of your videos precisely because you delete them.

You also could increase viewership and make more videos by:
# Q & A with people
# Respond to the youtube comments you get. While most are basically typical youtube comments that being inane flames, some are worth responding that being intelligent flames or entertaining flames. Well, it is youtube so most of the comments on the site are flames.

As for your website, cwcville is the best name, and it's a name you can trademark, too. Do the same password stuff on the domain name. Use moniker as the [[Wikipedia:Domain registrar|domain registrar]] (this is the most secure registrar) and get their extra security package. Every time you change your domain name, your [[Wikipedia:Google pagerank|google pagerank]] goes down to 0 and you must start all over again--very bad.

Did you know security guards only have the powers of private citizens? That means they can only detain or arrest someone for a felony. If they violate that, they can be sued for false arrest. If they think you're tresspassing, they must call the police, not arrest you. But at Target (I think) they beat you up, arrested you, took you to jail, and you had to go to court. If I were you, I would press charges and sue for false arrest before the statute of limitations expires for doing that.

As for your sonichu comics, copyright law in the USA says for derivative works (which sonichu is, even though it's not technically fanfiction), you have copyright of it, but those who you derived it from can control the distribution of the work. So I recommend you retitle it to cwcville, rename the characters not resembling sonic the hedgehog or pokemon, redraw them so they don't resemble them too, and redo the whole comics that way. The storyline of the comics is original an unrelated to the works you derived it from so that whole thing can stay. Call it cwcville and have the characters renamed and redrawn a bit and then you control the copyright on them. I'd also recommend that you draw them using some fancy computer software (I don't know which is good) so it's easier to edit them. Or maybe you can draw the outlines on paper withOUT lines and then scan them and then draw them via computer.

And them I have a question to you: Do you ever read the comments on your videos? I mean some advised you of the health dangers of the mold on your shower but then I see more videos of it and there's still mold. Others advise you things like they'll warn you if a girl is a troll and so far they'll all been right.

And I hope you read it all because it took me over an hour of work writing it. [[Wikipedia:User:Are you ready for IPv6?|Are you ready for IPv6?]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Are you ready for IPv6?|talk]]) 05:56, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

* '''IPv6:''' I find this hard to say... but Chris is not going to read ''nothing'' of what you wrote. A friend of mine tried to talk some sense upon him the other day. But doing so was like talking to a wall. Chris never even read a single word of what he was writing. I sort of know him, I managed to read the page, and not only I can certify that telling him anything will be futile, but I could also feel, while he was talking about his "Sweetheart Search", that apart from being terribly childish, he was whitewashing himself. I mean, who else calls plastering the campus with signs saying "Christian Chandler wants a girlfriend!" a wholesome, epic love quest? -- [[Wikipedia:User:Da nuke|Da_Nuke]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Da nuke|talk]]) 07:54, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

:* Da nuke, you know that might explain why he doesn't read the thousands of warnings others give him, such as when someone that he thinks is his internet sweatheart turns out to be a troll or that wearing the sonichu medallion turned women off. Though if he doesn't read what people write to him, then he probably won't read Wikipedia's basic rules, either. [[Wikipedia:User:Are you ready for IPv6?|Are you ready for IPv6?]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:Are you ready for IPv6?|talk]]) 08:21, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
::* The explanation is not really what's relevant here, all you need to know is Da_Nuke is 100% correct. This isn't going to be interpreted as "oh, I broke the Wikipedia rules, that's why", it's just going to immediately be "THOSE MALE JERKS AT WIKIPEDIA ARE JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS ETC ETC" without even looking at anything. Lock this now. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[Wikipedia:Special:Contributions/76.95.40.6|76.95.40.6]] ([[Wikipedia:User talk:76.95.40.6|talk]]) (UTC) 

==Men in Pickle Suits are Go!==

Hey listen to me, if you woke up shittin blood n' cum would ya tell anyone? ~ signed [[Wikipedia:User:User:Bladez636|your Surperior Master!]]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Template:The Internet

2012-07-13T01:22:59Z

Axe:

{{Navbox
|title = [[Chris and the Internet|The Internet]]
|name = The Internet

|group1 = Chris's websites
|list1 = [[CWC's Pokésite 1]]{{•}} [[CWC's Pokésite 2]]{{•}} [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]{{•}} [[CWC's Cool Profile]]{{•}} [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]{{•}} [[CWCipedia]]

|group2 = Social networking
|list2 = [[Adult Swim posts]]{{•}} [[PSN blogs]]{{•}} [[Facebook]]{{•}} [[Twitter]]{{•}} [[MySpace]]{{•}} [[Dating profiles]]{{•}} [[Match.com]]{{•}} [[PlayStation Blog]]{{•}} [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]{{•}} [[OkCupid]] ([[List of OkCupid Answers|Answers]])

|group3 = Wikis
|list3 = [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] ([[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|edits]]){{•}} [[Wikipedia]] ([[Chris's Wikipedia profile|profile]]{{•}} [[User:Apostrophe/Chris-Chan talk|talk page]]){{•}} [[CWCkipedia]] ([[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|WikiSysop correspondence]]){{•}} [[CWCki]] ([[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|edits]]{{•}} [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]]{{•}} [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]]{{•}} [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]])

|group4 = Forums
|list4 = [[Sonichu Forum]]{{•}} [[Sonichu Girls]]{{•}} [[Trollin Train]]{{•}} [[GameFAQs]]{{•}} [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]

|group5 = Documented IRL encounters
|list5 = "[[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]]"{{•}} [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]{{•}} [[Chris's résumé]]

|group6 = Other
|list6 = [[eBay]]{{•}} [[Craigslist]]{{•}} [[Quizzes]]{{•}} [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]]{{•}} [[deviantART]]{{•}} [[YouTube]] ([[List of Christian's comments on Youtube|comments]]){{•}} [[Other documents]]
}}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's presence on the [[Internet]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

List of OkCupid Answers

2012-07-13T01:01:47Z

Axe: {{The Internet}}

[[OkCupid]] determines match rankings between its users by asking them a series of questions, and determining how they answer. These questions are randomly assigned, and can be answered whenever the user feels like it. The user can select a single answer for themselves, and multiple answers that he or she would be okay with potential matches picking.

Due to the tireless efforts of [[Clyde Cash]] we have obtained archives of many of Chris's answers submitted for his latest OkCupid Profile. Chris's answer, and answers he would like potential mates to select. As is the norm with Chris, the answers vary from completely [[Honest]], to untrue things that [[ego|Chris genuinely believes]], to complete [[lies]] that he thinks girls want to hear.

Chris's personal answers are underlined, and answers he would like girls to pick are in green. There is considerable overlap between the two.

==Politics and Law==
'''In a relationship I like to discuss politics with my partner.'''
* All the time!
* Sure. I'm interested in sharing our beliefs.
* Sometimes. It depends.
* Hardly. Politics are boring or personal.
'''Which of the following is the more appropriate penalty for [[rape]]?'''
* Death.
* Castration.
* Prison.
* Community service or less.
'''Which is more offensive: book burning or flag burning?'''
* book burning
* flag burning
'''Should burning your country's flag be illegal?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Politically, which are more important to you right now?'''
* Social issues
* Economic issues
* I don't really care about politics

==Relationships==
'''How important is it for you to make [[Megan|physical]] [[Kacey|contact]] when showing affection for someone?'''
* Very important
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
'''Would you strongly prefer to date someone of your own [[Chris and race|skin color / racial background]]?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Most of all, I want to meet someone who deserves MY:'''
* trust.
* loyalty.
* admiration.
* gratitude.
'''If you inadvertently found a phone number in a partner's pocket, which would you do?'''
* Call the number to see whose it is.
* Openly ask what/who the number is for.
* Nothing, I would trust my partner.
* Nothing, my partner's privacy should be respected.
'''If you were in a serious relationship and you learned that your partner cheated on you one drunken night, could you forgive him/her?'''
* Yes, if he/she was sincerely sorry.
* No, never.
* It depends on the situation.
* I don't believe in monogomy.
'''If you were going to have a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|child]], would you want the other parent to be of the same ethnicity as you?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* This would not be an important factor to me.
'''If you were in a long term relationship and your partner [[Obesity|gained weight]] due to something like surgery recovery or childbirth, would you think less of them as a person?'''
* No, my partner's weight is irrelevant to me.
* No, my partner's health is what is most important.
* Not if they are willing to work hard and lose it.
* Yes, weight gain is so unattractive.
'''Would you ever stop dating someone based on a rumor you heard about them?'''
* Yes.
* Maybe, I'd give my date a chance to explain first.
* No.
'''What kind of fidelity (being faithful) is more important to you?'''
* Physical/Sexual.
* Mental/Emotional.
* Neither is important.
* Both are equally important.
'''If you were in a serious relationship, would you mind if your significant other maintained an active profile on OkCupid?'''
* Yes - I would mind this.
* No - This would not bother me.
'''Would you consider dating someone who dislikes children?'''
* Yes.
* No.
'''Your significant other's ex is coming into town and he/she wants to go out to dinner with them alone. How do you react?'''
* Sure, no problem.
* Not thrilled, but go ahead.
* Not just no... HELL no!
'''If you were in a long-term monogamous relationship, would you consider your partner "open mouth" kissing someone else cheating?'''
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
'''Would you consider having an open relationship, where you can see other people?'''
* Yes
* No
'''If one of your potential matches was overweight, would that be a dealbreaker?'''
* Yes, even if they were slightly overweight.
* Yes, but only if they were obese.
* No.
* No, in fact I prefer overweight people.
'''Would you avoid all contact with an ex if your current significant other asked you to?'''
* Yes, of course!
* No. This would be an unacceptable demand.
* Only if their justification seems reasonable.
'''Do you Google someone before a first date?'''
* Yes. Knowledge is power!
* No. Why spoil the mystery?
'''Would you--for any reason--read your mate's email or pose as him/her online, without his/her knowledge and permission?'''
* Yes, they shouldn't be keeping secrets anyway.
* Yes, I'd be too curious not to.
* Only if I suspected them of something.
* No, I'd trust them and that would be invasive.
'''Your significant other is traveling and has the opportunity to stay with a good friend that you know they find to be very attractive. What's your stance on the situation?'''
* It would be totally unacceptable.
* It might be ok, but I'd want to discuss it first.
* It's fine - I don't see any problem.
* It sounds sexy - Hopefully they'll hook up.
'''You get married. Five years later, you realize it was a mistake. Discussion and counseling haven't made a difference. You just don't love your partner anymore. He/she still loves you. You decide to:'''
* Keep trying. Marriage means commitment.
* Get a divorce. It'll be better for both of you.
'''How willing are you to meet someone from OkCupid in person?'''
* Totally willing!
* Hesitant, but would consider.
* I am not interested in meeting in person.
'''How much affection can you tolerate?'''
* Inifinite
* Most of it.
* A little bit.
* Get off me!!
'''How important is it to you to have your own unique "thing" (like a weekly Girls' Night Out or Guys' Movie Night) that you don't share with your partner(s)?'''
* Very - I need some ME time to be happy
* Sort of - I need friends outside of my partner
* Not much - I like sharing stuff with my partner
* I'd prefer not to have exclusive things
'''How long do you want your next relationship to last?'''
* One night
* A few months to a year
* Several years
* The rest of my life
'''How do you feel about falling in love?'''
* I love it and want it very much
* I try to avoid it
* I like to just let it happen
* I'm indifferent / not sure
'''Would you consider connecting with someone whose relationship status is [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|'seeing someone' or 'married']]?'''
* Yes to both
* No to both
* Yes to 'seeing someone' only
* Yes to 'married' only
'''Which makes for a better relationship?'''
* Passion
* Dedication
'''Is it a requirement that you communicate with your significant other daily, in some way (phone, email, in person, etc.)?'''
* Yes, no matter what
* Yes, unless otherwise specified
* No, it's not necessary
* No, I'd prefer not to communicate daily
'''Which of these options most closely describes what you're looking for in your next relationship?'''
* Someone to come home to
* Someone to go out with
* Someone for tonight
'''How much can intelligence turn you on?'''
* Intelligence can turn me on a lot!
* Intelligence can turn me on a bit.
* Intelligence does nothing for me either way.
* Intelligence turns me off.
'''How long do your romantic relationships usually last?'''
* 0-6 months
* 6-12 months
* 12+ months
* I've never been in a relationship
'''Do you believe in monogamy?'''
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure

==Sex==
'''I prefer to sleep ...'''
* Alone
* With my partner, but apart (not touching)
* Touching my partner
* Embracing / cuddling my partner
'''You're in a relationship/marriage and feel that you and your mate aren't having sex frequently enough. What do you do?'''
* Talk to them about it
* Try to spice things up. (Toys, fantasies, etc)
* Do nothing, but hope things change naturally.
* Cheat on them / Break up with them.
'''How willing would you be to try out new things sexually with a partner?'''
* Completely willing.
* Somewhat willing.
* Not at all willing.
'''[[Women's Rights|Straight women who kiss or fondle each other]] in clubs in the hopes of attracting men are...'''
* Incredibly hot!
* Just having some girlish fun.
* Profoundly annoying.
'''How would you feel if your partner asked you to get tested for STDs before having sex with you for the first time?'''
* Positive (relieved, accepting, happy, or proud).
* Neutral.
* Negative (offended, annoyed, angry, or afraid).
'''You're in a romantic relationship with someone you really like. As far as you're concerned, how long will it take before you'll have [[Chris and Sex|sex]]?'''
* 1-2 dates
* 3-5 dates
* 6 or more dates
* Only after the wedding
'''How important is it that a partner be capable of intelligent intercourse?'''
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
'''Might you consider dating someone who confided to you that he/she had a sexually transmitted disease?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Ideally, how often would you have sex?'''
* Every day
* 3 to 4 times per week
* 1 to 2 times per week
* less than once per week
'''How open are you to trying new things in bed?'''
* Very open. I'll try anything once.
* I'm open, but I don't get too crazy.
* Hesitant, but it might happen.
* Not at all.
'''Do you like to cuddle?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* Sometimes - It depends.
'''Is contraception morally wrong?'''
* Yes
* No
* Depends on the kind
'''Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Which best represents your opinion of [[homos|same-sex relationships]]?'''
* Girl-on-girl is okay, but guy-on-guy is wrong.
* Guy-on-guy is okay, but girl-on-girl is wrong.
* All same-sex relationships are wrong.
* It's all fine by me.

==Faith and Religion==
'''Are you Christian?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Should evolution and creationism be taught side-by-side in public schools?'''
* Yes, students should hear both sides
* No, creationism has no place in public schools
* No, evolution has no place in public schools
'''Would you ever change your religion (or adopt one) because your significant other wanted you to?'''
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
'''Would you date an atheist?'''
* Yes
* No
'''How important is [[Chris and religion|religion/God]] in your life?'''
* Extremely important
* Somewhat important
* Not very important
* Not at all important

==Life and [[Death]]==
'''How do you feel about kids?'''
* Kids are precious - they love me and I love them!
* They're okay, but keep the unruly ones at bay.
* God, how revolting. *shudder*
* I'm indifferent.
'''If your best friend began talking of suicide and asked you not to tell anyone, would you be willing to honor their request?'''
* Yes, it's their life to do with as they see fit.
* Yes, but I'd do my best to talk them out of it.
* No, I'd find help for them.
'''What is most appealing?'''
* Settling down with a family someday
* A life of singledom
* Living spontaneousy and in the moment
'''When a [[PandaHalo|woman]] chooses to abort a pregnancy, should she be required to inform [[Clyde Cash|the father]]?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* Possibly, depending upon other factors.
'''If it comes to having children, would you prefer to adopt or to be one of the biological parents?'''
* I would rather be one of the biological parents.
* I would rather adopt.
* Either would be equally fine.
* Neither - I'd prefer to not have children at all.
'''When is suicide okay?'''
* Always.
* In special cases, such as to prevent suffering.
* Never.
'''Would the world be a better place if people with low IQs were not allowed to reproduce?'''
* Yes
* No
'''To you, is abortion an option in case of an unwanted accidental pregnancy?'''
* Yes
* No
'''If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be?'''
* Love
* Wealth
* Expression
* Knowledge
'''Are you happy with your life?'''
* Yes
* No
* Most of the time
'''Are you looking for a partner to have children with?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Would you ever consider adopting a child or being artificially inseminated on your own if you gave up on finding a life partner?'''
* Yes, and I'd keep dating
* Yes, and I'd dedicate myself to the child
* No, I wouldn't do it
'''If you were to die, would whoever goes through your [[sex toys|personal belongings]] be shocked by what they find?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe a little bit.

==Hygiene==
'''How important is it to you that your partner smell good?'''
* Very damn important
* Important-ish
* Less important than you might think
* I just don't care.....at all
'''Does finding a long-term partner give you license to "let yourself go," (lower your standards of personal hygiene or appearance or gain large amounts of weight)?'''
* Yes, I preen only to attract a mate
* No, I do it for myself
* No, I want to make sure I hang on to him/her
* I have low standards in the first place
'''How frequently do you bathe or shower?'''
* At least once a day.
* Usually daily. I skip some.
* A couple times a week.
* Once a week or less.
'''How often do you brush your teeth?'''
* Twice or more a day
* Once a day
* Only on days I feel like it
* Rarely / never

==Vices and Virtues==
'''Do you ever feel the need to get really [[Alcohol|drunk]]?'''
* Often
* Sometimes
* Rarely
* Never
'''How often do you [[Tobacky|smoke cigarettes]]?'''
* At least one cigarette a day
* Once in a while / only when drinking / rarely
* Never
'''Do you consider yourself to be an honorable person?'''
* Yes, I always try to do the right thing.
* Sometimes, it depends on the situation.
* No, not really.
* Are you kidding? I lie, cheat , AND steal.
'''Are you careful with your money?'''
* Yes
* No
How often are you open with your [[Chris and Anger|feelings]]?
* Always
* Usually
* Rarely
* Never
'''Does smoking disgust you?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Rate your self-confidence:'''
* Very, very high
* Higher than average
* Average
* Below average
'''What's your deal with harder drugs (not marijuana)?'''
* I do drugs regularly.
* I do drugs occasionally.
* I've done drugs in the past, but no longer.
* I never do drugs.
'''Do you keep a [[Chris and Money|budget (of your finances)]]?'''
* Yes
* No
* Sometimes
'''How often do you keep your promises?'''
* My word is my bond. No exceptions.
* Whenever possible
* Usually
* When convenient
'''What's your relationship with marijuana?'''
* I smoke regularly
* I smoke occasionally
* I smoked in the past, but no longer
* Never
'''Are you vegetarian or vegan?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you space out or daydream a lot?'''
* All the time
* Never / rarely
* Sometimes

==Misc.==
'''Do you enjoy finding out what makes things work the way they do?'''
* I'm an information sponge
* Sometimes
* As long as it works, who cares why?
'''Without using a dictionary or other tool, can you choose the commonly misspelled word? Don't cheat! It's okay if you don't know.'''
* 1. separate
* 2. definate
* 3. committee
* (Not sure / dumb question / who cares)
'''Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you have a problem with [[Chris and Race|racist jokes]]?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you like to be read to aloud?'''
* Yes, it makes me happy.
* Only when I'm sick.
* Maybe when I was five.
* Nope.
'''Do you and your ideal significant other enjoy making sarcastic jokes at each other's expense, knowing that it's all in good fun?'''
* Yes! That's a personality trait we have to share.
* Sometimes, but not too much.
* No, sarcasm doesn't belong in a love relationship.
* I can't dish it out, but I'd take it, I guess.
'''Would you prefer good things happened, or interesting things?'''
* Good
* Interesting
'''What is your quest?'''
* To find true love.
* To find happiness.
* To find your fortune.
* [[Monty Python|To find the Grail.]]
'''How often do you meditate?'''
* Frequently.
* Rarely.
* Never.
'''Which is worse: [[Sonee & Rosey|starving children]] or [[Chandler cats|abused]] [[Patti Chandler|animals]]?'''
* Starving children.
* Abused animals.
* Neither, both are good.
* Neither, they are equally bad.
'''How much influence or control do your parents have over your life?'''
* I am my own person.
* I consider their opinion but go my own way.
* I almost always do what my parents think is best.
* I always do what my parents say.
'''When birds stand on power lines and don't get hurt, it's most likely because of:'''
* Good timing; they only land between calls
* Body materials that are insulated from current
* Not touching anything else at the same time
* They do get hurt; they just express it poorly
'''If you don't do anything at all for an entire day, how does that make you feel?'''
* Good
* Bad
'''STALE is to STEAL as 89475 is to...'''
* 89457
* [[Honor roll|98547]]
* 89754
* 89547
'''Which of these is likely to make you more nervous?'''
* A promising first date
* An important interview
'''What is next in this series? 1, 4, 10, 19, 31, _'''
* 36
* 48
* 46
* Don't know / don't care / dislike this q
'''Gender roles ...'''
* Exist for good reason - Should not be questioned.
* [[Tomgirl pictures|Are undergoing a refreshing redefinition.]]
* Are irrelevant, outdated and unnecessary.
'''What is your [[Mass debating|back-up plan]] if you can't find a date on a Friday night?'''
* Call up a friend, go see a movie
* Hit the town solo: you never know what will happen
* Self-improvement: go to the gym or read a little
* Two words: drinking alone
'''Are you an aspiring actor/artist/writer or other creative type?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you generally smile at little kids who cross your path?'''
* Yes
* No
* Only if no one is looking
'''Which is [[obesity|bigger]]?'''
* The earth
* The sun
'''To you, which adjective best describes hopeless, unrequited love?'''
* Romantic
* Foolish
* Creepy

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Template:The Internet

2012-07-13T01:01:31Z

Axe: +List of OkCupid Answers

{{Navbox
|title='''[[Chris and the Internet|The Internet]]'''
|name=The Internet

|group1 = Chris's websites
|list1 = [[CWC's Pokésite 1]] • [[CWC's Pokésite 2]] • [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] • [[CWC's Cool Profile]] • [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]] • [[CWCipedia]]

|group2 = Social networking
|list2 = [[Adult Swim posts]] • [[PSN blogs]] • [[Facebook]] • [[Twitter]] • [[MySpace]] • [[Dating profiles]] • [[Match.com]] • [[PlayStation Blog]] • [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] • [[OkCupid]] ([[List of OkCupid Answers|Answers]])

|group3 = IRL Documented Encounters
|list3 = "[[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]]" • [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]] • [[Chris's résumé]]

|group4 = Wikis
|list4 = [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] ([[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|Edits]]) • [[Wikipedia]] ([[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|User:ChrisChanSonichu]] <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[User:Apostrophe/Chris-Chan talk|talk]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>) • [[CWCkipedia]] ([[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|WikiSysop correspondence]]) • [[CWCki]] ([[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|Edits]] • [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]] • [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] • [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]])

|group5 = Forums
|list5 = [[Sonichu Forum]] • [[Sonichu Girls]] • [[Trollin Train]] • [[GameFAQs]] • [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]

|group6 = Other
|list6 = [[eBay]] • [[Craigslist]] • [[Quizzes]] • [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]] • [[deviantART]] • [[Other documents]]
}}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's presence on the [[Internet]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica

2012-07-13T00:59:42Z

Axe: /* See also */

{{Articleofthenow}}
Within days of the creation of the [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-chan]] article on '''[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''', [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was aware of its existence due to his frequent [[Ego|ego-searches]] for himself and [[Sonichu]]. Chris obviously paid close attention to the page from the beginning, but he managed to resist the temptation to make his own changes to the article for nearly a week before plunging in with dozens of attempts to make himself look good on the page or convince [[ED]] to leave him alone.

Ironically, virtually every embarrassing detail we now know about Chris, outside of his [[YouTube]] videos and his Sonichu website, was first presented to ED ''by himself'', in these edits.

Chris's rationale was "TMI-Input-To-Overload-Their-Minds-And-STOP,"<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#The_E.D._Webpage]]</ref> believing that if he told [[troll]]s details about how pathetic his life is, they would feel sorry for him or be too freaked out to do anything. Of course, being the [[Internet]], it only made the trolls want to troll him even more, and is analogous to a child telling his bullies not to beat him up because he still wets the bed - it has a totally negative effect.

{{TOC limit|limit=2}}

==Known ED sockpuppets==

Chris used numerous sockpuppet accounts to avoid drawing undue attention upon himself. This didn't work because each of these socks were easily identified as Chris, since they were the only users on the entire site who cared enough about him to defend him. Also, most of these socks identified themselves in their edits as being Christian Weston Chandler, so that was a big clue.

* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Reldnahc Reldnahc]</s> (active 10 Nov 2007 - 10 Jan 2008; 14 Aug 2008 - 12 Sep 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Chris-chan Chris-chan]</s> (active 30 Dec 2007)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Denilah Denilah]</s> (active 19 Jan 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Clyde Clyde]</s> (active 21 Jan 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Glith Glith]</s> (active 25 Jan 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltbunn Waltbunn]</s> (active 26 Jan 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltermelon Waltermelon]</s> (active 12 Mar 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Christian-Weston-Chandler Christian-Weston-Chandler]</s> (active 15 Mar 2008 - 21 Mar 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/SAVE_CHRIS_CHAN SAVE CHRIS CHAN]</s> (active 7 Aug 2008)
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Jamplerf Jamplerf]</s> (active 14 Aug 2008)
==Edit details==
===10 November===

'''From 1:10-2:28am EST (06:10-07:28 GMT), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* See edits <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465 here]</s>
* First attempt to sanitize the article, removing words he doesn't like ("retarded," "scary") and changing others ("racist" to "Old-Fashioned").
* Removes a thumbnail of Goatse from his article. This was his very first edit, so it looks like he was trying to resist getting involved but Goatse crossed the line.
* Changes "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|MASTURBATIN' AND SQUIRTIN']]" rainbow pyramid to read "DIVINE RETRIBUTION", then to "[[Mass debating|MASTURBATE]]" with the added note "Every Person is Doing it!!" Later adds: "Aahhhhhhhh...Relief... :)"
* Changes comment about the medallion being bloody awful and made of clay to being good and made of "crayola model magic." (This is how we first learned what the hell the medal is made of.)
* Changes references to the [[the Tale of the Crazy Pacer|Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] to place the incident in 2004 (at age 22) instead of 2006 (at age 24). ED was going by the date Anna posted the blog entry; Chris seems to be referring to when the incident actually happened.
* Edits a section on him being racist to read:
{{quote|Oh yeah, he's also Old Fashioned. In his idea of a Sweetheart, she is not Black. He is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|blood, tears and semenal descent.]]}}
* Changes a paragraph asking why he wears the medallion to effectively answer the question:
{{quote|Why does he insists on wearing? It identifies him for the high-funcioning Autistic individual that he is. It's speculated it may give him some [[Anchuent Prophecy|secret]] [[Chris-chan Sonichu|power]]. Like Psychic Powers and Quick-Play Speed.}}
* Changes a sentence mocking the way he says [[tobacky]] to explain why he said it:
{{quote|He also talks about how he wants to take every ounce of "tobacky"(said that way, because he felt uncomfortable saying the actual fucking word) and shoot it to the moon.}}
* Changes this paragraph:
{{quote|He also calls being gay a vice, and cites Dr. Kinsey. I don't know what Dr. Kinsey he's talking about, but the only famous Dr. Kinsey I know contradicts everything he just said. But yet again, a 25 year old virgin knows all about love.}}
: To the following:
{{quote|He also calls being gay VICE, and cites Dr. Kinsey. The only famous Dr. Kinsey I know agreed with everything he just said (Rent the Kinsey movie "R" rated or Unrated from your local movie store). But yet again, a 25 year old virgin knows all about love, especially after fucking a plastic woman full of his hot air now and then.}}
* Corrects description of his portrayal of Mary Lee Walsh to: "Grey-Haired Witch with a shoddy Devil-Style Viking Helmit" (It remains a common misconception that MLW's golden, horned helmet is blonde hair with protruding devil horns.)
* Informs us that "Resources found that Mary has obtained a copy of the "CWC On TV" DVD from her pawn, Susan Hannifan."
* Adds a link to veoh.com: "The Ignored Veoh.com, with all the free porn to download at 5kbits a second"
* Changes the caption of fan art depicting him with the sign to say "The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he could ever fucking think of"

At 7:28 p.m. EST (00:28 GMT, 11 Nov), Chris makes this edit:

* More general sanitizing, changing the captions of the images to be more pro-CWC. This edit would be reverted just 90 minutes later, but the earlier edits would get left in the article for some time.

===11 November===

'''Between 11:40 p.m. EST, 10 Nov and 12:42 a.m. EST 11 Nov (04:41-05:12 GMT 11 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* See edits <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 here]</s>

* As Chris's edits get larger, he uses some sort of sub-par text editor that adds unnecessary line breaks, screwing up ED's line-by-line comparison, which makes it harder to tell what he's added.

[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|right|"Come and lick my pussy, my [[Jerkop]] slave."]]
* Uploads the following pictures:
:*[[:File:HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG|Hedgehogs in FLuv.JPG]] - the Sonichu/Rosechu sex picture later used in Sonichu 8.
:*[[:File:MaryWantsIt.JPG|Mary Wants It.JPG]] - Mary Lee nude, beckoning her Jerkop slave to pleasure her.
:*[[:File:BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG|Bubbles and Black Sonichu.JPG]] - Bubbles riding cowgirl on Black Sonichu at the beach.
:*[[:File:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|Angelica in God's Eyes.JPG]] - Angelica masturbating in her bedroom.
:* [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] - Christian fingering Megan.
:*[[:File:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg]] - The kiss scene from Sonichu 0.
:* HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG - duplicate Sonichu/Rosechu picture.
:* BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG - Duplicate Bubbles/Blachu picture.
:* AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG - Duplicate Angelica picture.
:* She came for CWC2.JPG - Duplicate Chris/Megan picture.

* Adds some of these images to the gallery, with captions:

:* SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg "Sonichu and Rosechu's First Kiss"
:* HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG "Sonichu and Rosechu's First Fuck-a-Thon"
:* BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG "Bubbles...and Black Sonichu?!!!"
:* AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG "FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of God?!!"
:* ShecameforCWC.JPG "Your sister has cum for me"
:* MaryWantsIt.JPG [no caption]

* Chris trying to play off the girl he's fingering in the picture as "''your'' sister" almost certainly fueled the assumption that she was actually ''Christian's'' (imaginary) sister Crystal.

* Puts the rainbow pyramid back and has it read "WOMEN MASTURBATING" with the note "Why not? Everybody's Doing it. Hmm...Awesomely Relieving and Visually Appealing."

* He adds several lengthy, revealing sections about himself:

:* He implies that he masturbates to [[Excel Saga]].
:* [[Random-access_humor#Random Ramblings|Random Ramblings]], apparently meant to show [[lie|he's funny]].
:* Lyrics for [[So Need a Cute Girl]]
:* His shitty [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]]
:* And his addiction to soda:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>===THE SODA JERK===</nowiki> 

YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from Coca-Cola to Pepsi to Powerade. I have a lot of stored caffeene in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking [[biological clock]] as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty. BIG REASON I need a Sweetheart, so she can help me back on track towards getting back to the morning hours that I used to have during my High School years. Fucking [[Adult Swim]](tm) and random projects keep me up all night as well.</blockquote>
'''At 1:55 p.m. EST (18:58 GMT), Chris made the following edits:'''
* Some of his previous updates have been undone, so he's back to put them in again. Amazingly, somebody from [[ED]] actually ''took out'' the Rule 34 pictures. ([[Reldnahc]]'s identity as Christian appears to be unrealized at this point; perhaps nobody thought CWC would actually show his face on the site.) More amazingly, Chris ''put them back in'', so he made the same dumb mistake ''twice''.

===12 November===

'''Between 10:05 p.m. EST, 11 Nov and 12:20 a.m. EST, 12 Nov (03:06-05:19 GMT 12 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Removes thumbnails of fan art of himself having sex with Sonichu, of Rosechu as a she-male having sex with Sonichu, and of himself with his penis hanging out of his pants.
* Puts his "Random Ramblings" from November 11 back on the article, with added random access humor.
* Adds several new sections:
:* [[Saddest heart in the world (poem)|CWC's ''Saddest Heart in the World'' Poem]], apparently intended to draw sympathy. (Spoiler: It didn't work.)
:* Excerpts from his [[CWC's Diary|diary]], perhaps to show he can laugh with us at us.
:* An update on Megan:
<blockquote>
<nowiki>===What happened to Sailor Megtune?===</nowiki> 
"Yes, while I did have a crush on Megan for like a couple of years since I started playing Yu-Gi-Oh, she was rejectful of romance. In August, [[2007]] after the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest, she sent me an e-mail that fucked the shit out of my [[heart level|heart.]]

It hurt so fucking much, it took me weeks to recover. But I eventually did, and I am, and have been since about mid-September, in a well-sound state of mind. So I had to go back to my fucking lonesome and damn enduring Sweetheart Search.
<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[sigh]]* The things I would do for TRUE LOVE and my future daughter.
</blockquote>

:* Information about his work in Guitar Hero:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>===Christian Weston Chandler...Guiter Hero of Cwcville===</nowiki> 

"I rocked it hard February 3, 2007 at the Gamestop by Forest Lakes. It was close, but thanks to my HARDCORE months of

practice, I CONQURED!!! ''[[Wikipedia: Free Bird|Freebird]]'' on Expert was awfully tough, but I scored highest above my opponent in the Final Round

with that song. I won a cool T-Shirt."

"I also watched the new [[Guitar Hero]] episode of ''[[South Park]]'' November 7, [[2007]]; it was awesomely hilarious. Apparently the creators had a big thing for ''[[Wikipedia:Carry On Wayward Son|Carry On Wayward Son]]''; I don't blame them, except for waiting through the intro lyrics, it is a fuckin' awesome song. Although Boston's ''More Than A Feeling'' is the World's Greatest Song, hands down. Thank you, Aqua Teens for agreeing on that."
</blockquote>
:* Pictures and thoughts on his [[Officer Nasty]] doll. (The pictures somehow don't make it onto ED; that's okay because he's tricked into providing them again later.)
<blockquote>
<nowiki>===Cheese it, the cops!!===
[[Image:1000650.JPG|thumb|Nah, it's just my artificial woman in her plastic blue outfit. Awesome to fuck, and the cleaning maintance is simple. She'll only last until she has her internal injury.]]
[[Image:1000651.JPG|thumb|Yeah... Look at those big hooters!]]
[[Image:1000652.JPG|thumb|Oops, she popped her top. :D]]
</nowiki>
</blockquote>
 
'''Between 8:59 and 9:09 p.m. EST, 12 Nov (1:59-02:09 GMT 13 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Virignia time: 8:59-9:09pm, 12 November 2007
* Puts his shit back in.
* Amends a sentence defending the jerkops to say "they're all just doing their jobs '''of enforcing an awesomely [[Virginia is for Virgins|fucked-up false law]].'''"

* Adds this:
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler would like [[ED]] and [[4chan]] to know the following: '''I will continue to Shove The True Facts From My Heart and Soul Down Your Throats, only until you take this WHOLE PAGE Down For Good.'''}}

===13 November===

'''At 2:15 p.m. EST (19:14 GMT), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Sanitizing the article again, and putting his material back in.
* Adds this description of Jerkops: "the imposter police in colors OTHER than BLUE or BLACK who enforce the fucked-up false law of Virginia is for Virgins; not lovers".
* Edits a recommendation that [[Autistic]] people should be avoided to say "Despite it being highly recommended that anyone with [[Autism]] '''will get [[The Creepy Stare|stared at]] in deep depth'''"
* Adds a link to one of his diary entries, which is a tinyurl link pointing to what was presumably his [[MySpace]] blog before he took it down in 2008.

===14 November===

'''Between 11:29 and 11:43 p.m. EST (04:29-04:43 GMT, 15 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Creates the user page for Reldnahc. Spends fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to embed an MP3 of So Need a Cute Girl directly onto the page, but fails.
* Puts his material back into the ED article, possibly other minor edits.

===28 December===

'''Edit made at 12:25 a.m. EST (05:26 GMT):'''

* By this point Chris seems to be copy-pasting a poorly-formatted copy of the article as he wants it to appear. Ironically, several insults directed at him, which had been edited for length, are now reintroduced by his reversion. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997377875]</s>

===30 December===

'''Edits made at 12:13-12:14 (05:13-05:14 GMT):'''

* Now using a new account, "Chris-chan", Chris replaces three whole articles (his own, as well as "Scared kitty" and "Insane Clown Posse/TL;DR‎") with "Stop spreading LIES about me!"
<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997380740]</s>
<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Scared_kitty&diff=prev&oldid=1997380741]</s>
<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Insane_Clown_Posse/TL%3BDR&diff=prev&oldid=1997380745]</s>

===10 January===

'''Chris makes the following edit at 2:49 p.m. EST (19:49 GMT)

* Chris replaces the entire article with "<nowiki>[vo!d]</nowiki>" <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997396041]</s>

===19 January===

'''Edit made at 4:35 a.m. (09:35 GMT)

* Denilah replaces the entire article with the following:

<blockquote>Dahlings, by order of of President [[George W. Bush|George Bush Junior]], there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.

Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.

From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,

The President, George Bush</blockquote>

: It's unclear if Denilah was Chris, since there are many trolls who vandalize the page for lulz. But if Chris were going to convince people that someone who is not Chris says the page must not be edited, this is probably what it would look like. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266]</s>

===21 January===

'''Edit made at 4:43 a.m. EST (09:43 GMT):'''

* As Clyde ([[Clyde Cash|no relation?]]), Chris replaces the article with:

<blockquote>
<center>*****POST NO BILLS*****</center>
<center>There is absolutely no meaning in cyber bullying. And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]", then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|tasteful art]]; go out and socialize.
 You don't need to terrorize the innocent. Please. Stop mocking not just me, but all the individuals you have hurt with this crappy bullying, Because IT HURTS YOU AND US ALL.
 Thank you.
 Christian Weston Chandler.</center>
 <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997406599&oldid=1997405835]</s></blockquote>

===25 January===

'''Edits made from 6:10 to 6:16 a.m EST (11:10-11:16 GMT):'''

* A new account, Glith, adds a message to the Chris-chan talk page, saying "I KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK," adding "so there". <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997409944]</s>

* Glith replaces the article with the request that ED persecute [[Joshua Martinez]] instead of Chris. This doesn't seem to work—something about personal armies or something. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947]</s>

===26 January===

'''Edits made 6:15-6:27 a.m. EST (11:15-11:27 GMT):'''

* As Waltbunn, Chris blanks the article (and its talk page) and tries to come up with some sort of wiki tag that will somehow prevent further editing or otherwise destroy the article. None of this shit works, of course.<ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltbunn</s></ref>

===12 March===

'''Edits made at 5:52 a.m. EDT (09:52 GMT)'''

* On the same day that Megan and Chris exchange emails about Megan's outrage over the fingerbanging picture, Waltermelon removes virtually every reference to Megan from the article, as well as the Chris/Megan sex drawing Chris himself posted in November 2007. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997467336&oldid=1997465382]</s>

===15 March===

'''Edits made from 8:49-8:57 a.m. EDT (12:49-12:57 GMT):'''
[[Image:TomTomCloseup.jpg|thumb|right|Chris used this image, TomTomCloseup.jpg, to replace [[ShecameforCWC]].]]
* Christian-Weston-Chandler uploads a new file, TomTomCloseup.jpg‎, which is a closeup of the vagina in the original ShecameforCWC.JPG drawing. He replaces ShecameforCWC.JPG with TomTomCloseup.jpg‎ in the article. Presumably his reasoning here is that if he can't get ED to let him take the picture down altogether, he can compromise with them by substituting a different drawing that at least doesn't show Megan's face.

* He then repeatedly deletes and re-inserts the same section of text about Megan, as if he's not sure whether it should be in the article or not. He may be thinking that these edits will distract from his actual goal, which is to eliminate ShecameforCWC.JPG. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997471349&oldid=1997469851]</s>

:This plan is successful for maybe two days, until the article is protected and CrumpetTrumpet identifies the chicanery. Note that everyone is still of the opinion that it's Crystal in the drawing--nobody, including Megan, would have ever known he drew her nude if he'd known when to shut up. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997475778&oldid=1997475129]</s>

'''9:13 p.m. EDT (01:13 GMT 16 Mar):'''

* Chris edits a notice alerting ED users to his vandalism to read: "Christian Weston Chandler is currently trying to vandalize this article. You can help by explaining why you hate him so much as to contribute to this drama-mama."

===17 March===

'''8:39-8:48 p.m. EDT (00:39-00:48 GMT 18 Mar):'''

* Chris tries to replace the Megan drawing with the TomTomCloseup.jpg‎ again. He also removes references to Megan and to his vandalism of the article (although he ''adds'' a list of his known sockpuppets, for some reason; he may be working from an earlier revision without reading it). He seriously thinks he can ban ED users WhiteMystery and CrumpetTrumpet from his own article by merely posting tables which are presumably crude copies of templates. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997475972&oldid=1997475794]</s>

'''10:58-10:59 p.m. EDT (02:58-02:59 GMT 18 Mar):'''

* Chris uploads his cover art for his [[Adult Chronicles]] game, for PS2, PS3, and Wii, and adds them to the article, noting "Never on HEXBox!" He again tries to remove the Megan drawing and the list of sockpuppets. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476177&oldid=1997475996]</s>

===18 March===

'''12:07-12:11 a.m. EDT (04:07-04:11 GMT):'''

* Chris by now seems more concerned with dispelling the notion that he wants to have sex with Crystal than with taking down the Megan drawing. He changes this:

{{quote|...and drawing pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary twin sister.}}

: to read:
{{quote|and drawing pictures of himself having sex with Megan, who would never want to do it with him anyhow; what a sadsack virginal loser.}}

: He makes other alterations to the captions of thumbnails to mock himself for wanting sex with Megan, all the better to prevent anyone from drawing the more (hypothetically) incestuous conclusion. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476252&oldid=1997476245]</s>

'''9:00-9:10 a.m. EDT (13:00-13:10 GMT):'''

* Chris again changes the sentence about him wanting to have sex with his imaginary sister to "his lost Sailor Soldier, Megan, who dumped his sorry ass for drawing the pic of him fucking her; she never even had any inkling of interest in him. What a intolerable sad-sack loser."

* He edits the article's implication that he only claims to be autistic, citing "paperwork from doctors and psychologists and other quacks."

* By now he has stopped trying to remove the Megan drawing and merely moves it around the article. Megan appears to have said something to him that has made him stop giving a shit. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476698&oldid=1997476683]</s>

===19 March===

'''6:15 p.m. EDT (22:15 GMT):'''

* Chris removes paragraphs about Megan again, and tries for the second time to ban users by putting up crude templates saying they're banned. His banhammer is aimed at users who have reverted his edits: WhiteMystery, CrumpetTrumpet, Weatherman, Drunkenlazybastard, and MysteryBot. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997478479&oldid=1997476922]</s>
* Chris e-mails [[Wikipedia]] pleading for assistance:
*:"I've found your Mediawiki Software, but I am askew with confusion on how to even install the program and all that (the unrecognizable .tar extension didn't help much either). Please help me in deleting everything on the page, and putting a Edit Lock onto it." <ref>[[Chris emails 2008#March]]</ref>

===20 March===

'''8:14-8:40 p.m. EDT (00:14-00:40 GMT 21 Mar)''':

* Christian decides if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and presents [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]] He also continues to delete sections about Megan and references to wanting to have sex with Crystal. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997480063&oldid=1997479407]</s>

===21 March===

'''1:08-1:09 p.m. EDT (17:08-17:09 GMT):''',

* Chris deletes large, seemingly arbitrary portions of the article, strangely leaving parts of it intact. He specifically targets a drawing of Rosechu with a penis. This appears to be his final round of edits to ED until August 2008. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997481251&oldid=1997480886]</s>

===7 August===

'''2:03 a.m. EDT (06:03 GMT):'''

* A user known only as SAVE CHRIS CHAN replaces the article with "YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! CWC DOES NOT DESERVE ALL THIS HATE!" <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997693022]</s>

===13 August===

'''8:48-8:49 p.m. EDT (00:48-00:49 GMT 14 Aug):'''

* Reldnahc returns to the Chris-chan talk page with this announcement concerning the alleged medallion theft: <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997701173]</s>

<blockquote>
<nowiki>=== Hey, B-Itches, Quit your barkin'. ===</nowiki> 

I have returned to my comic drawing, one page at a time, so you can quit your slanderous, unrequired cries for attention. Also, I LAUGH at your mockery of a medal imitation; yours looks MORE like a sugar cookie I had with lunch...from a Grocery Store; Free Cookies!

The neighbors have been complaining, and they have provided over a Thousand signatures on the Petition; let your Encyclopedogia Bitchmatica get its injection for eternal sleep.

|----

Middle Finger in your "Ear Lot Evil".
</blockquote>

===14 August===

'''7:41-7:45 p.m. EDT (23:41-23:45 GMT):'''

* Jamplerf replaces both the Chris-chan and 4chan articles with "Fuck you, ED." It's difficult to determine whether this is really Chris or a troll capitalizing on the wave of CWC-mania at the time, but the vandalism is consistent with Christian's focus on 4chan as an enemy. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Jamplerf]</s>

===17 August===

'''6:18 a.m. EDT (10:18 GMT):'''

* Chris deletes a (probably apocryphal) story on the talk page about him deliberately getting into a car wreck with a pretty girl as a pretext to asking her on a date. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997706991]</s>

====18 August====

'''2:46 a.m. EDT (06:46 GMT):'''

* Chris deletes discussion of his parents' names and home address. You may be noticing by this point that the harder he tries the worse things get. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997708544]</s>

===22 August===

'''10:38-10:43 p.m. EDT (02:38-02:43 GMT 23 Aug):'''

* Chris furiously tries to remove any reference to his home phone number and address from the Chris-chan article and the talk page. He finally says:

<blockquote><nowiki>===IF YOU BOTHER ME===</nowiki>

I will STAR69 Your Number or call 911!
You are NOT Freakin' TMZ, so just leave me Alone with Peace of my Mind. [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
</blockquote>

===30 August===

'''5:09 a.m. EDT (09:09 GMT):'''

* In a curiously low-key edit, Chris corrects a report about him getting kicked out of his favorite shop, changing "GameStop" to "Game Place".

===2 September===

'''4:00-4:27 a.m. EDT (08:00-08:27 GMT):'''

* Chris uploads nine nude drawings of Rosechu and replaces transsexual and homoerotic Sonichu fan art with them. (Later, in [[Sonichu 8]], these images are shown to be photographs taken by Rosechu herself and uploaded to [[4-cent_garbage.com]].) <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997731317&oldid=1997731056]</s>

* While he's doing this he makes an odd comment in the caption of a picture of Crystal: "Crystal has her vagina ready too."

===3 September===

'''3:53-6:19 p.m. EDT (19:53-22:19 GMT):'''

* Christian reverts edits of his new Rosechu nudes. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997733933]</s>

* On his Reldnahc user talk page, Chris finds himself repeatedly blanking the page to remove a template showing dozens of images of penises. In response he creates a gallery of erotic imagery he has found on ED that meets with his approval, and posts it on both his user page and its talk page. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Reldnahc&diff=prev&oldid=1997733922]</s> <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=User:Reldnahc&diff=prev&oldid=1997733919]</s>

* Chris also continues to try to correct the assumption that it is Crystal and not Megan in the fingerbanging art. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997733937]</s>

===4 September===

'''2:37-4:21 a.m. EDT (06:37-08:21 GMT):'''

* Chris deletes large portions of the Reldnahc talk page criticizing his edits, and struggles to keep the dongs off the page and his gallery on. He issues variations of this statement on Chris-chan, User:Reldnahc, and User talk:Reldnahc:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>**DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!**</nowiki> 

I AM ADDING THE POSITIVITY THIS HELL-HOLE OF A WEBSITE DESPERATELY NEEDS; you just do not appreciate the POSITIVITY I AM ADDING TO THE PAGE. What I am doing is a STAND against OFFENSIVE, UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED Additions to ANY Female Image. What I am doing is a STAND for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN Everywhere, because NO WOMAN would EVER want such a Horrific Twist of Fate. What I am doing is a STAND against the VERY THING that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!! 

And I will continue to draw my own TASTEFUL NUDE FEMALE ART, with HONEST VAGINA, UTERUS AND OVARIES to my heart's and RAGE AGAINST YOU DICK-HEADS content. 

If you want me to stop, Draw Breasts, Vaginas, Uterus, Ovaries and the God-Given Eggs within them on ALL ROSECHU FANART for yourselves, you Two-Inch Short Dick-HEADS!!!!!!!! 

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler, 
A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace. 

{{quote|P.S. I FULLY UNDERSTAND YOUR MOCKERIES; YOU ALL ARE JUST JERK IDIOTS.|Chris-Chan}}
</blockquote>

'''10:21-11:14 p.m. EDT (02:21-03:14 GMT 5 Sep):'''

* Chris continues battling to either remove the penises on his talk page or change them into pictures of boobies and vaginas. During this flurry of edits he also begins to weed out pictures he previously put in his "choice ED pics" of Dot from Animaniacs, Cream from Sonic the Hedgehog, and Misty from Pokémon; this seems to be out of concern that people think he is fapping to underage characters, since this comes within hours of his announcement that Rosechu is eighteen years old.

===7 September===

'''1:07 a.m. EDT (05:07 GMT):'''

* Chris makes an edit to dispute the assertion that his Rule 34 drawings had to have been drawn prior to ED's discovery of him. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997739363]</s>

===9 September===
'''9:17-9:34 p.m. EDT (01:17-01:34 GMT 10 Sep):'''

* Chris edits the section for the newly-released Episode 18, trying to make sure everyone understands that the villains of the piece are Jason Kendrick Howell and a thinly-veiled analogue of ED. He continues to insist that it's Megan, not Crystal, in the fingerbanging picture.

* On his user page and usertalk page, Chris continues in vain to stop the influx of pickles.

===11 September===

'''10:15-10:16 p.m. EDT (02:15-02:16 GMT):'''

* Chris by now realizes the n00dz he thought he sent to [[Blanca]] actually ended up in the hands of the Man in the Pickle Suit, and they're all on ED. He blanks the Chris-chan, User:Reldnahc, and User talk:Reldnahc articles. All three articles are reverted in minutes; ED's MysteryBot automatically suspends the Reldnahc account for at least 24 hours. This presumably discourages Chris from making further attempts to salvage his reputation, as there is little evidence of him contributing to ED from this point forward.

===16 March===
'''Edits made at 5:45 p.m. EDT (21:42-21:45 GMT):'''

* The Chris-chan account, which has been dormant since 30 December 2007, suddenly reappears to leave cryptic messages on the articles for <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Cho_Seung-Hui&diff=prev&oldid=1997961206 Cho Seung-Hui]</s> and <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Tim_Kretschmer&diff=prev&oldid=1997961205 Tim Kretschmer]</s>, and to replace the Chris-chan article with this message:

<blockquote>One day you FUCKERS will pay for what you have done!

You made [[Megan]] live! MY ONLY FUCKING SWEETHEART! YOU WILL PAY!

NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!

REMOVE THIS FUCKING ARTICLE, 4 CENT GARBAGE!<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997961209&oldid=1997960172]</s></blockquote>

: Chris's password strength is notoriously weak, and it's very likely someone has hijacked one or more of his ED accounts, especially now that this article exists to list his sockpuppets.

===May 2009===

===14 May===

'''Edits made at 6:53-6:54 p.m. EDT (22:53-22:54 GMT):'''

* A new account, <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu]</s>, is created and used to put the following message on the "Chris-chan" talk page:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>=== I've moved on last Tuesday ===</nowiki> 

I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to troll me any further. Do you dare?

Peace-Out,
Christian Weston Chandler.

<nowiki>--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 22:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)</nowiki>
</blockquote>

===15 May===

'''Edits made 11:35-11:36 p.m. EDT (3:35-3:36 GMT 16 May)'''

* ChrisChanSonichu adds the following to his previous message:

<blockquote>Hey, CLYDE, you JERK. I said "IN REAL LIFE", not Playstation. Also, why don't you be the man you CLAIM to be and face me yourself? You keep sending out your prawns to do your dirty work, you coward. >:-(

Christian C.</blockquote>

* He then immediately reverts his own edit.

There has been speculation that the edits were fake, but his videos since the 15th of May have confirmed the information given, so it can reasonably be assumed that the account belongs to Chris.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]
*[[Christian's sex joke]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]
*[[Wikipedia]]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

List of Chris's edits to the CWCki

2012-07-13T00:59:29Z

Axe: /* See also */

[[Image:chrisshotweb.jpg|thumb|right|Summary of the incident.]]
After Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] in [[March 2010]], he [[Cwc_blog#14 March 2010|demanded]] that pages related to his family and [[Gal-Pal]]s be removed, giving two deadlines. Around midnight on [[April 2010|1 April]], past the second deadline, he decided to attack CWCki, signing up as [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]]. In true CWC style, his [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|vandalism]] was less than impressive. In fact, due to the fact that he made them on April Fools' Day, many users just assumed that it was an elaborate and lulzy prank on the part of the administrators. But no, it was f'real. Christian's posts were aimed at altering the articles he vandalized to make the CWCki seem to be praising him. As usual Chris's [[Chris and English|tenuous grasp of grammar]] made his edits stand out like a sore thumb. Chris returned under the guise of [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]], making several posts from 5 [[May 2010]] to 13 [[July 2010]]. He later returned as [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]] in the aftermath of [[28 October 2011]], uploading three pictures of [[Michael Snyder]] on [[November 2011|4 November 2011]].

Although Chris originally demanded that the CWCki's administrators only edit or remove pages related to his friends and family, it is perhaps telling that when he finally set himself to actively vandalizing the site, he ignored those pages, choosing instead to make edits [[Chris and his Ego|glorifying himself]].

Listed below are all of Chris's edits made on both his accounts, unedited by trolls and exactly as he originally wrote them. Exception is made for headings, which in the quoteboxes where Chris put a heading is replaced with '''bold text'''.

==GodofThunderGodofWar==

[[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|All edits]]

===1 April, 12:35===
His first action was to edit the Did You Know? column, removing the majority of the factoids while adding a few of his own, most of which were merely rewrites of existing comments.

{{quotebox|
*...This webiste, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL?
*...that Christian Chandler ALWAYS IS the mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are not to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys healthy food, good drinks and just necessities with Good Money?
*...that Chris has been recording himself as early as [[10th grade]]?
}}

The following comments however, were left untouched.

{{quotebox|
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Chris]]'s sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris.27s_antics|Level Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
:*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is ''[E-Mail My Heart]''?*
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
}}

The unaltered DYK factoids were probably left alone because Chris failed to [[autism|notice the sarcasm]] in the comments and mistook them for compliments. [[Naive|On a troll site]]. It should also be noted that the comment about Pixelblocks was also untouched, save for Chris adding the word "not" in the middle. It was likely he perceived it to be a spelling mistake and decided to correct it, even though the word "neither" instead of "either" later in the sentence makes Chris's edit ''adding'' a mistake instead. The broken "10th grade" link was also caused by Chris, as the original version of this factoid linked to the [[Song of Christian]] instead.

*Altered for this article. This normally links to a [[Youtube]] video, but external links mess with the quotebox.

===1 April, 12:42===
He then changed the Article of the Now from [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] to himself.

{{quotebox|
[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|right|200px|lolwut.]]

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], Honest, Cool and Honest Dude, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[brilliant]] character, starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of most Normal Human Beings; Finding their Meaning of Existence, Their True Love, Their own Self-Character. No One should ever interfere or ever make a mockery of such a tride and true quest to finding HIS own Happiness with his WOMAN who is to be his Wife.

Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter.
}}

This edit is stands as perhaps the most condensed essence of Christian to ever emerge in pseudo-paragraph format. Between the utter butchery of the English language, blatant ego stroking, and unintentional creepiness ("Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter") Christian pretty much manages to sum up what legions of trolls have spent nearly half a decade trying to record for the world. Also note that, while on a website dedicated to trolling him, he still attempts to insert links to other parts of the wiki. In all likelihood, Chris planned to vandalize these elements as well but stopped due to [[stress]]. In the original edit, the link "brilliant" instead linked to the Fail page. Much like the 10th Grade example above, Chris removed this part and created a redlink where there wasn't one before.

===1 April, 12:44===
A couple of minutes after, he made the infamous [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] the Picture of the Now.

{{quotebox|[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|300px|left|lolwut?]]

A recently leaked image shows an illustration by [[Chris]] having [[Sweet, Sweet Sex]] with three young women, including a white one, a black one, and one in-between.Chocolate-Vanilla Swirls!!! YAY! 8D}}

Not much needs saying here. Chris chose the image and added some [[random access humor]]. Why this image? Nobody knows. Also, the red link this time was actually put in entirely by Chris himself, rather than being another unintentional mistake. Why he thought the CWCki would have a page on "Sweet, Sweet Sex" is anyone's guess.

==JenkinsJinkies==

[[Special:Contributions/JenkinsJinkies|All edits]]

===5 May, 01:08===
In his first edit on the new account, Chris commented on [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|the hacking]] of the [[PS3]], saying the supposed bug was just an antenna. However, later that day he tore out the antenna anyway, just to be safe.<ref>[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]</ref>

{{quotebox|
'''Dude, Really? That's an Antenna'''

I trolled around and found it. http://www.eeshops.com/ps3-wifi-antenna-tyco-19039281-w400-p-528.html --[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 01:08, 5 May 2010 (UTC)}}

===8 May, 03:09 - 03:16===
Chris then turned to the [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]], clarifying that his ''Resistance: Fall of Man'' add-on pack was not bought by the trolls who took over his [[PSN]], but his ''[[Wikipedia:Killzone_2|Killzone 2]]'' pack was.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88589 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> He also said that the ''[[wikipedia:Downfall (film)|Downfall]]'' he bought was a movie, not a video game,<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads&action=historysubmit&diff=88592&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> and removed a slanderous mockery that implied that his [[duck]] was small.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref>

===3 July, 16:02 - 16:25===
Chris created the bizarre [[Coffee Place]] article, quoted below, in which he ranted about [[Amanda]], a part-time [[manajerk]], who wouldn't give Chris a ''[[Wikipedia:The Twilight Saga: Eclipse|The Twilight Saga: Eclipse]]'' Sweepstake token because he only bought a $1.09 ice cream.
{{quotebox|
{{Taxpayermoneynoinclude}}

[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|A view of the counter where behind which has its own Troublemakers.]]

'''Coffee Anyone?'''

Within this single fast-food joint of the small town of Ruckersville, VA, Bobby goes for a morning coffee and breakfast most days of the week. Sadly, though, on some of those days, along with other seinor citizens who have been going there for years for their own "Early Bird Specials", they get harassed by one or two of the snot-nosed, snooty employees.

One of which, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time [[Manajerks]] who gives her elders the coldest of shoulders. Even with the recent Twilight sweepstakes, one or two of these folks who have enjoyed the Medium Icees for a single dollar and nine cents during their limited-time promotion and received the cups with the game pieces on them, Amanda recently decided that "One Dollar is TOO LITTLE for a Piece of the Sweepstakes Action."

Amanda also really Opens Up for the Black People; she would be most friendly to any of the black people. Uncle Ruckus would really kick the shit out of the bitch for not treating us white people with good kindness and respect. All of the seinors who loyally come in for their daily morning bread would just itch for the chance to smack her ass and crack her [[china]] in due respect to the harassment she has butthurt unto them.

'''Amanda'''

Not much else is known about Amanda at the moment, but the seinors have heard that she is a mother of two (probably get a daily butthurt from her every night). She is also assumed to be still married. I feel really sorry for the dude who has put up with that woman for the amount of time they've been married.

'''More Coffee Goodness'''

It has been reported that Chrissy has been sighted there, but no photographs has been taken, aside from the one above, of him inside the restaurant.

Photographic evidence should be sent to cwcsightings(AT)hotmail.com! Also, feel free to show off to everyone around you at the time the fresh Gay Trucker Photographs are taken. Users will be greatly rewarded with [[china]] and/or [[pickle|pickles]]!
}}

This edit was the first time Chris began to make his presence known. All edits up until now under the JenkinsJinkies name were subtle. Here the subtlety ends. Chris made it obvious that it was him right from the start, from both his [[Chris and English|poor spelling]], (very few people are stupid enough to [[Merried Seinor Comic|spell "senior" as "seinor"]]), and his poor attempt to imitate what he believes [[trolls]] are like. For one thing he obviously believes trolls to be [[Chris and race|racist]], so he goes off on a tangent about black people halfway through, and he believes all trolls to have [[Chris and sex|sexual issues]], so he acts like an outright misogynist for the last paragraph. He also tried to use troll slang in the article, such as the word "butthurt", but he somehow managed to [[Honor roll|use it as a verb]]. Chris also updated the [[Template:Places|places template]] accordingly to link to his new article.

===3 July, 20:16===
After CWCkians later arrived and saw that some faggot had put up a shitty article with no citations or real evidence of anything happening, they assumed a troll pretending to be Chris, or else a [[Chris|really stupid person]], and put up a deletion template. Chris noticed and leapt to the article's defense on the talk page with this textwall.

{{quotebox|
'''Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama.'''

My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Here, Chris established his troll backstory and continued to try and act as close to what he believed a troll to be like as possible, this time playing the part of a [[BlueSpike|sadist]] who hates Chris because he's [[Autistic|special]] who was [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|bullied at school]] and had [[Bob Chandler|daddy issues]]. Because that's totally what real trolls are like.

===11 July, 19:43 - 12 July, 08:05===
In response to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] leaving Chris a message on his user talk page, asking him for his details so he could send him his reward for providing them with information, Chris posted this strange rambling.

{{quotebox|
Thanks, man, but I'm good; I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her china was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.

That's all the info I got of [[Amanda]]; my family and I don't travel to South VA that often, but I'll see if I can hitch another trip and find a place to crash in VA. I wouldn't be missed; I am soo overlooked in my family.

Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the [[Hooker incident]], I'm wondering from which luscious company or group [[Bryan Bash]] the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D

Thank you for your support, [[User:Clydec|Clydec]]; you're awesome.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 18:43, 11 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

The main focus of the message here seems to be establishing more troll backstory, giving excuses as to why he couldn't give Clyde his details, and dropping as many troll buzzwords as possible, like "[[4chan|Anon]]" and "[[Laughs Under Lucricities|LULZ]]". He also inquires about the hookers sent to his house by Bryan Bash, likely so he can take advantage of their services to get rid of his hated [[virgin with rage|virginity]]. Also notice how even when he's deep undercover as a Chris-hating troll, he still feels the need to bolster his own [[ego]], claiming to be genuinely afraid of Chris; something no-one other than Chris himself could ever seriously consider anything other than a joke.

When Clyde appropriately pointed out that being afraid of Chris indicated Jenkins was a pussy, Chris replied with:

{{quotebox|
Firstly, I am not a pussy; I am as wild as a serial raper. Second, I saw those videos; he is still a curiously impulsive individual. It is people like him that tend to explode in a hidden-potential fury that could be very dangerous. While you may see him as a weak fuck, I see a crazy man who will likely strike at any given moment.

During the time now, I enjoy laughing during his weaker moments, yet I still am concerned in what intelligence and fury lie within him waiting to strike. He may be only waiting and plotting for the day when he may hunt us down, one by one. We can only hope that day will never come.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 07:05, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Again, despite being undercover as a troll, Chris spends time trying to convince [[Clyde Cash]] and the others that he is really [[I AM STRONG|strong]], [[Honor roll|intelligent]] and will [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|probably kill them all]]. Again, things that only Chris could ever seriously believe. Also, add "wild as a serial raper" to the list of memorable Chris-Chan quotes.

===13 July, 22:24===
And of course, where would we be without a little advertising? Even while pretending to be a troll, Chris still [[Chris and his Ego|couldn't resist]] breaking cover yet again to advertise his ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' beta tracks.

{{quotebox|
'''He has his Beta Track Up'''

As well as some actually neatly recreated Hot Wheels vehicles. He locked a couple of them; the manchild must have Favorited those TWO cars from his collection. LOL His track is lengthy, and confusing, but I managed to run some laps on it. And he added a good version of the Park with a fountain, and a Beach.

Download his Beta Cwcville Track for the laughs of using the defaulted Beta Tools.--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

This was Chris's last edit made to the CWCki before he then signed up for [[Trollin Train]], as part of a scheme by Clyde and [[Surfshack Tito]] to trick him into destroying his [[PS3]], a mission ending in [[The MovingForward videos|great success]]. All further JenkinsJinkies dumbfuckery is documented on the [[Trollin Train]] page.

==Christianchandler==

[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler|All edits]]

===4 November, 18:26 - 18:32===

Chris's first action under his third account was to upload three photos of [[Michael Snyder]] taken with his [[Nintendo|3DS]] during the [[28 October 2011]] incident. The first was taken from the interior of [[The GAMe PLACe]], and was put on its CWCki article. The other two were taken from inside [[Son-Chu]] in the parking lot and were added into Snyder's article, one of them replacing an [[:File:2004 merchant of venice 008.jpg|existing image]]. Chris added his own captions, in which he hilariously [[Chris and hypocrisy|mocked]] [[Obesity|Snyder's weight]] and accused him of being a [[Pedofork|child-molesting]] [[Chris_and_religion#Judaism|Jew]].

The photos Chris uploaded are below, Chris's captions included.

<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|"The inside of the PLACe as of October 27, 2011."

File:HNI 0021.JPG|"Look at his "slender" figure."
File:HNI 0022.JPG|"Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile."

</gallery>

===4 November, 18:40 - 18:41===

Chris proceeded to make the second photo the Picture of the Now...

{{quotebox|[[File:HNI_0021.JPG|200px|left]] [[Michael Snyder, in the flesh.]]!|}}

...And subsequently added mentions of all three to [[:Template:Da Update|Da Update]].

{{quotebox|*4 [[November 2011|October]]: [[Michael Snyder]]; up close and personal in three new "HNI" photographs.}}

===4 November 20:02 - 20:03===

Chris returned about 80 minutes later to upload two new pictures. The first is of an [[Anime|anime]] girl named XBOX360ko, apparently a human with all the features of an [[HEXBox|XBOX 360]]. He then replaced the second Snyder photo with a picture of a colorful fox. The bottom-right corner reads [[Chris and copyright|©]] [[Chris and his ego|ME ME ME ME ME]]. The purposes of both photos are [[Random-access humor|unknown]].

<gallery>
File:481px-360tankx6.jpg
File:Chrisfox.JPG
</gallery>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[CWCki]]
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]
*[[Coffee Place]]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Lists]]