CWCki - User contributions [en]

Hair

2012-05-21T04:59:48Z

BULLAY:

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

Already in atrocious physical condition for someone his age, Chris's baldness has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedophile]] and/or fat, old lesbian. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well, and [[Bob]] was bald as well. However, inactivity, poor diet, illness, and stress are well known to accelerate the balding process. In addition, there is a strong correlation between the man's age with the eventual extent of the baldness - when male-pattern baldness starts as early as it does with Chris, you will tend to end up with much less hair in the end; which does not bode well for Chris's [[tomgirl]] dreams.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh... I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like by next December.]]

When confronted in the [[Mailbag]] ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.

[[File:TG9.jpg|thumb|Chris with longer hair]]

Since becoming a [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]], Chris has let his hair grow out and has seemingly attempted to color it blonde. This was likely not done by a professional stylist, because his new hair color is a hideous urine yellow. In some photos, such as the one he took at Salvation Army, the darker roots are visible through his extremely thin hair. It also appears that Chris's hair is naturally curly or wavy when he lets it grow long. Another possibility is that he curls his hair with a curling iron, although Chris is far too lax in his personal grooming for that type of styling regimen.

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Troll|or a dude pretending to be one]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big [[China|C]] himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of [http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode06/usc_sec_06_00001203----000-.html United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7)] did not cause any national or international incidents.

While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the Spanish side has [[Racism|Sonichu in a sombrero]].

===Gallery of hair===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[HairDifference]]

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

It's Raining Men

2012-04-10T15:53:37Z

BULLAY: South park references

'''It's Raining Men''' is the eighth track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of the song "[[Wikipedia:It's Raining Men|It's Raining Men]]" by [[Wikipedia:The Weather Girls|The Weather Girls]], except Chris replaces the word "men" with "dykes," before spending the rest of the song trying to justify his stupid rewording. The clumsy "Yikes!" rhyme is likely a reference to the [[South Park|South Park episode]] named "D-Yikes!".



== Audio ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "It's Raining Men"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|H8APqlGqhkc}}
| stardate = [[November 2011]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[You Think You're a Man]]
| next = [[Raspberry Swirl]]
}}

=== Lyrics ===
''(sounds of Chris fumbling with mic)'' 
''(Uncertain)'' Uh, hi, we are weather people, and we've got news foooor you. Y-you better listen-get ready, all you lonely girls and men, keep those umbrellas at home, alright.

[''unintelligible''] 
Thermometers getting low, 
A-a-according to all sources, 
The street's a place to go, 
'Cause t'night for the... the first time, 
Just about half past YIKES! 
Forthefirst tiiime in his-to-ry, 
Itsgstart raining [[Homos|dyyyyykes]]!

It's rainin' dyyykes 'aaaaallelujah, 
It's rai-ning dykes! ...Amen! 
I'm gonna go out... to-oo run-toletmyself get 
[[Comeuppance|Absoluuu-lutely soakin' wet!]] 
It's raining dykes, 'Allelujah, 
It's raining dykes, every specimen, 
''(mumbles while fiddling with mic)'' ..daarg-dark, neat, 
[[Lovely Weather|Rough and tough and strong]] and swee-ee-eeeeeet,

God bless Mother Nature, 
She's a single womaaaaan too 
Knows what she likes? She took off to heaven 
'N she did what she had to do. 
She taught every angel 
To rearrange the sky 
So each and every woman and--d-gay 
Could find [''unintelligible''] ''[pause]'' couldfindaperfectgaaaaal!

It's raining dykes! Hallelujah! 
It's raining dykes, ''(fumbling with mic)'' a-Ame-en, 
It's raining dykes. ''(more fumbling)'' Hallelujah! 
It's raining dykes...

''(in speaking voice)'' Raining dykes for tomboy lesbians.

''(continues singing)'' ...Weeather... Movin' iiiin... 
...'Bout ta bee-giin... 
...Hear thunder, don't youuuu lose- 
...Don't you lose your head, 
Rip off the roof and stay in bed

God bless Mother Nature, 
She's a wom-mannnnn too, 
She know what she likes-shet'koff to hea-ven, 
She did what she had to do 
She got every angel ''(more fumbling with the mic)'' 
To re-rearrange the sky 
So that each and every woman and guy 
Could find their perfect gaaal ''(fumbling stops)''

It's raining dykes, yeah. 
''(More muttering and fumbling. The fumbling continues throughout the track)'' ...Barometer's getting low... 
''(stuttering)'' ...to all sources, 
The streeeet's a bu-place to go, 
'Causet'night's gonna- ...For the first time, 
Just about half past YIKES, 
For the first time in historyyyyyyyyyyyy, 
It's gonna start rainin' dyyyyyyyyykes, 
It's raining dykes! Hallelujah! 
It's raining dykes! 'allemen! 
It's rainin' dykes! 'allelujah, 
It's rai-nin' dyyykes...

Raining dykes, 
It's raining dykes, 
Raining dykes, 
Raaaaandykes, 
Raining dykes, dykes...

''(A brief period of Chris just fiddling with the mike, then the song cuts out.)''

{{The Tomgirls}}
[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]

11042009 51 50

2012-01-11T15:10:55Z

BULLAY:

'''51 50''' (full name '''11042009 51 50''') is a 5 [[November 2009]] video in which [[Chris]] claims to perform fifty-one [[Wikipedia:Biceps curl|biceps curls]] of two 50-pound (23 kg) [[honor roll|(by his estimate)]] boxes of lemonade while wearing his ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]'' T-shirt. The twelve-pack of soda actually weighed about 10 lb (4.5 kg).<ref>Based on Chris's description of it as containing 4.26 L of juice, plus a little more for the packaging.</ref> Note that the [[JERK|average man]] can lift about 35 lb (16 kg) in a one-arm biceps curl,<ref>[http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/584162.html]</ref> meaning that Chris is [[duck|less than one-third of a man]]. Regardless, curling a TRUE AND HONEST fifty pound weight for fifty reps without stopping would require, quite literally, superhuman strength.

Chris uses improvised dumbbells to display [[I AM STRONG|his strength]] once more. Any intelligent person could buy a decent set of weights for $20 or less (which might not be such a good idea for Chris, since he'd probably injure himself actually trying to lift fifty pounds - especially if he turns his spine while lifting them like he does here). Anyway, Chris isn't about to waste his [[monthly tugboat]] on something that could actually improve his life or health in any real way. It should be noted that his technique is horrible and lacking a full range of muscle movement, taking away most of the strain from the arms and rendering the exercise useless. Yet, around halfway into the video, the [[Obesity|profuse sweating]] still manages to make a return in a big way. Of course, in typical CWC fashion, one of his can packs breaks and the contents spill out onto the floor.

Incidentally, "5150" also refers to an [[Wikipedia:5150 (Involuntary psychiatric hold)|involuntary psychiatric hold]] in California.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 11042009 51 50
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-0-eiwe-W14}}
| stardate = 5 [[November 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| shirt = {{ParappaShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]
| next = [[No More Jokes]]
}}

{{quote|What a workout!}}

=== Transcript ===

[''Video seems to start in mid-sentence, Chris is holding a 12-pack of [[Wikipedia:Minute Maid|Minute Maid]] lemonade cans on his knee'']... 12-pack. [''knocks on carton''] All the cans are in there. [''Turns the carton so he can read the content information''] 4.26 liters total. Estimated weight [''hefts box with his right hand, needing his left hand to support it as he does so''] unngh, I'd say [[Honor roll|over 50 pounds]] a thing.

[''Fumbles with the carton as he switches it to his left hand and holds it to his side, then uses his right hand to grab a second 12-pack of lemonade''] So now, watch this, aight?

[''Begins doing curls with the two 12-packs, counting reps for each arm aloud.'']

'''''Reps 1 through 3:''' Chris's posture is slouched forward as he lifts the cartons to shoulder height. He sways a bit from side to side with each rep.''

'''''Reps 4 through 6:''' Chris is already having difficulty lifting the cartons. He starts straining his eyes and his head rocks from side to side more.''

'''''Reps 7 and 8:''' Chris suddenly winces and arches backward as he lifts rep 7, his terrible posture giving him obvious pain. He grimaces through these reps.''

'''''Reps 9 through 11:''' He relaxes here, but he starts rocking his torso back and forth with the reps, as his arms alone are not able to pull the weight unassisted.''

'''''Reps 12 and 13:''' His swaying torso is no longer enough for these massive weights, so he starts kicking his legs a bit to help out.''

'''''Reps 14 through 17:''' Chris stops kicking his legs, but continues to rock back and forth.''

'''''Rep 18:''' Miscounts number 18 for his right arm as 19, but catches his mistake by counting his left arm as 19 twice.''

'''''Reps 20 through 31:''' Still rocking side to side and back and forth as he lifts, occasionally using his legs for assistance.''

'''''Reps 31 through 35:''' Chris's torso movement is now much more pronounced, flopping in all directions. Though his voice remains steady, his contorted face says he really hopes this will end soon.''

'''''Rep 36:''' He twists the carton in his right hand as he brings it up instead of keeping it straight, compromising the carton's structural integrity.''

'''''Rep 37:''' The inevitable happens. Chris twists the right side carton again as he lifts it and this time the carton rips and falls to his lap. He turns the box around and grips it by the other side of the hole he had been gripping it by.''

'''''Reps 38 through 44:''' Rep 38 goes smoother as he had a chance to rest while fumbling with the broken carton, but starting with rep 39, Chris is absolutely straining to bring the right side carton up to his shoulder. He twists his neck to his left each time he does so and scrunches his face tightly.''

''On 40, two cans fall out of the damaged box. He puts them back in and then starts on 41 for his right arm forgetting to do rep 40 for his left.''

'''''Reps 45 through 49:''' On 45, Chris twists his entire body to the left to bring the right-side carton up. This flies in the face of pretty much anyone's estimate of [[mass debating|which of his arms would be stronger]]. His following reps are a bit more relaxed, but he's still struggling mightily, especially with the right-side carton.''

'''''Rep 49:''' Another can falls out of the damaged box. Chris catches it on his lap and puts it back in the box.''

And that's not me. I am unstoppable.

'''''Rep 50:''' Chris resumes where he left off, reaching 50, which he pronounces to be "The Big Five-Oh".''

And to get around in the business sense, [''Lifts his right box high over his head''] fifty-one! [''Repeats action with his left''] And fifty...'''ONE!''' [''Sticks tongue out obscenely.''] Whaaaa! [''Places boxes on the ground''] What a workout!

[''Chris's face is completely drenched with sweat, he flashes a double thumbs-up, then flexes.''] I'm Strong '''NNNNGH'''! [''Approaches camera''] So ther- [''Video ends mid-word.'']

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Fighter - Chris-chan vs. Soda Pop
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VG0mXcdizgw}}
| stardate = 5 [[November 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ashlink ashlink]
| subject = 11042009 51 50
| type = (VGM) Remix
| info = }}

==References==
<references/>
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]|nextlink=[[No More Jokes]]|}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2009| 2009-11-05]]

11042009 51 50

2012-01-11T15:07:19Z

BULLAY: Added clarification on the difficulty of actually curling 50 lbs.

'''51 50''' (full name '''11042009 51 50''') is a 5 [[November 2009]] video in which [[Chris]] claims to perform fifty-one [[Wikipedia:Biceps curl|biceps curls]] of two 50-pound (23 kg) [[honor roll|(by his estimate)]] boxes of lemonade while wearing his ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]'' T-shirt. The twelve-pack of soda actually weighed about 10 lb (4.5 kg).<ref>Based on Chris's description of it as containing 4.26 L of juice, plus a little more for the packaging.</ref> Note that the [[JERK|average man]] can lift about 35 lb (16 kg) in a one-arm biceps curl,<ref>[http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/584162.html]</ref> meaning that Chris is [[duck|less than one-third of a man]].

Chris uses improvised dumbbells to display [[I AM STRONG|his strength]] once more. Any intelligent person could buy a decent set of weights for $20 or less (which might not be such a good idea for Chris, since he'd probably injure himself actually trying to lift fifty pounds - especially if he turns his spine while lifting them like he does here). Anyway, Chris isn't about to waste his [[monthly tugboat]] on something that could actually improve his life or health in any real way. It should be noted that his technique is horrible and lacking a full range of muscle movement, taking away most of the strain from the arms and rendering the exercise useless. Yet, around halfway into the video, the [[Obesity|profuse sweating]] still manages to make a return in a big way. Of course, in typical CWC fashion, one of his can packs breaks and the contents spill out onto the floor.

Regardless, curling a TRUE AND HONEST fifty pound weight with one hand properly even for one rep would be a solid challenge for an intermediate weightlifter; doing it for fifty reps more without stopping would require superhuman strength.

Incidentally, "5150" also refers to an [[Wikipedia:5150 (Involuntary psychiatric hold)|involuntary psychiatric hold]] in California.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 11042009 51 50
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-0-eiwe-W14}}
| stardate = 5 [[November 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| shirt = {{ParappaShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]
| next = [[No More Jokes]]
}}

{{quote|What a workout!}}

=== Transcript ===

[''Video seems to start in mid-sentence, Chris is holding a 12-pack of [[Wikipedia:Minute Maid|Minute Maid]] lemonade cans on his knee'']... 12-pack. [''knocks on carton''] All the cans are in there. [''Turns the carton so he can read the content information''] 4.26 liters total. Estimated weight [''hefts box with his right hand, needing his left hand to support it as he does so''] unngh, I'd say [[Honor roll|over 50 pounds]] a thing.

[''Fumbles with the carton as he switches it to his left hand and holds it to his side, then uses his right hand to grab a second 12-pack of lemonade''] So now, watch this, aight?

[''Begins doing curls with the two 12-packs, counting reps for each arm aloud.'']

'''''Reps 1 through 3:''' Chris's posture is slouched forward as he lifts the cartons to shoulder height. He sways a bit from side to side with each rep.''

'''''Reps 4 through 6:''' Chris is already having difficulty lifting the cartons. He starts straining his eyes and his head rocks from side to side more.''

'''''Reps 7 and 8:''' Chris suddenly winces and arches backward as he lifts rep 7, his terrible posture giving him obvious pain. He grimaces through these reps.''

'''''Reps 9 through 11:''' He relaxes here, but he starts rocking his torso back and forth with the reps, as his arms alone are not able to pull the weight unassisted.''

'''''Reps 12 and 13:''' His swaying torso is no longer enough for these massive weights, so he starts kicking his legs a bit to help out.''

'''''Reps 14 through 17:''' Chris stops kicking his legs, but continues to rock back and forth.''

'''''Rep 18:''' Miscounts number 18 for his right arm as 19, but catches his mistake by counting his left arm as 19 twice.''

'''''Reps 20 through 31:''' Still rocking side to side and back and forth as he lifts, occasionally using his legs for assistance.''

'''''Reps 31 through 35:''' Chris's torso movement is now much more pronounced, flopping in all directions. Though his voice remains steady, his contorted face says he really hopes this will end soon.''

'''''Rep 36:''' He twists the carton in his right hand as he brings it up instead of keeping it straight, compromising the carton's structural integrity.''

'''''Rep 37:''' The inevitable happens. Chris twists the right side carton again as he lifts it and this time the carton rips and falls to his lap. He turns the box around and grips it by the other side of the hole he had been gripping it by.''

'''''Reps 38 through 44:''' Rep 38 goes smoother as he had a chance to rest while fumbling with the broken carton, but starting with rep 39, Chris is absolutely straining to bring the right side carton up to his shoulder. He twists his neck to his left each time he does so and scrunches his face tightly.''

''On 40, two cans fall out of the damaged box. He puts them back in and then starts on 41 for his right arm forgetting to do rep 40 for his left.''

'''''Reps 45 through 49:''' On 45, Chris twists his entire body to the left to bring the right-side carton up. This flies in the face of pretty much anyone's estimate of [[mass debating|which of his arms would be stronger]]. His following reps are a bit more relaxed, but he's still struggling mightily, especially with the right-side carton.''

'''''Rep 49:''' Another can falls out of the damaged box. Chris catches it on his lap and puts it back in the box.''

And that's not me. I am unstoppable.

'''''Rep 50:''' Chris resumes where he left off, reaching 50, which he pronounces to be "The Big Five-Oh".''

And to get around in the business sense, [''Lifts his right box high over his head''] fifty-one! [''Repeats action with his left''] And fifty...'''ONE!''' [''Sticks tongue out obscenely.''] Whaaaa! [''Places boxes on the ground''] What a workout!

[''Chris's face is completely drenched with sweat, he flashes a double thumbs-up, then flexes.''] I'm Strong '''NNNNGH'''! [''Approaches camera''] So ther- [''Video ends mid-word.'']

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Fighter - Chris-chan vs. Soda Pop
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VG0mXcdizgw}}
| stardate = 5 [[November 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ashlink ashlink]
| subject = 11042009 51 50
| type = (VGM) Remix
| info = }}

==References==
<references/>
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]|nextlink=[[No More Jokes]]|}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2009| 2009-11-05]]

Hair

2011-12-21T06:03:34Z

BULLAY:

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

Already in atrocious physical condition for someone his age, Chris's baldness has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedophile]] and/or fat, old lesbian. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well. However, inactivity, poor diet, illness, and stress are well known to accelerate the balding process.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh... I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like by next December.]]

When confronted in the [[Mailbag]] ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.

[[File:TG9.jpg|thumb|Chris with longer hair]]

In his [[Tomgirl Pictures|cross-dressing photos]], Chris has let his hair grow long in order to imitate a woman's hair. His hairline still appears to be receding, as he has no bangs or volume to his hair. It simply appears wiry and stringy.

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Troll|or a dude pretending to be one]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big [[China|C]] himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of [http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode06/usc_sec_06_00001203----000-.html United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7)] did not cause any national or international incidents.

While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the Spanish side has [[Racism|Sonichu in a sombrero]] (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZED SOMBREROS).

===Gallery of hair===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[HairDifference]]

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Hair

2011-12-21T06:02:07Z

BULLAY:

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

Already in atrocious physical condition for someone his age, Chris's baldness has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedophile]] and/or fat, old lesbian. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters. While the fact that he is balding is likely out of his control (being a genetic factor), poor diet, illness, inactivity, and stress are well-known to accelerate the condition.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh... I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like by next December.]]

When confronted in the [[Mailbag]] ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.

[[File:TG9.jpg|thumb|Chris with longer hair]]

In his [[Tomgirl Pictures|cross-dressing photos]], Chris has let his hair grow long in order to imitate a woman's hair. His hairline still appears to be receding, as he has no bangs or volume to his hair. It simply appears wiry and stringy.

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Troll|or a dude pretending to be one]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big [[China|C]] himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of [http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode06/usc_sec_06_00001203----000-.html United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7)] did not cause any national or international incidents.

While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the Spanish side has [[Racism|Sonichu in a sombrero]] (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZED SOMBREROS).

===Gallery of hair===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[HairDifference]]

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC

2011-11-17T18:45:45Z

BULLAY:

'''"Show RESPECT to me, 'C'CWC"''' is a video where [[Chris]] sings [[Niggos|Aretha Franklin]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Respect (song)|Respect]]", demanding that people respect and praise him. However, considering how he does not realize that [[China|respect]] is earned and not [[Greene County Conspiracy|demanded]], he [[fail]]s to attract much more than usual.

As he promises to bless those who praise him, and others will be damned to hell, Chris believes that he has [[Ego|ascended to full god-hood.]]

==Description==

{{quotebox| Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC Thank you, Miss Franklin for that Cwcspirational Track. :)

And Thank you to all my True, Loyal Honest Fans for giving me RESPECT.

And to all you nay-sayers and trollin' stupids, [[Chris and hypocrisy|GROW UP]]!!! And show me RESPECT.}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VUh8n2VEYKA}}
| stardate = 22 [[August 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShortSleeve|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Update 20 August 2009]]
| next = [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]
}}
{{quote|R-E-S-T-E-D-C!}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: August 22nd, 2009.

Th' name is ''Christian Weston Chandler'', birth name Christopher, Spanish nickname [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]], [''shakes head''] [[Ian Brandon Anderson|NO OTHER NAME]].

[''Begins drawing on a piece of paper, using the [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]] as an impromptu writing surface with some difficulty'']

I am so sick of hearing that ''stupid name'' that somebody made up back when I had that [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] account, and ''I be a Chandler''. You know, "I" being myself, "B" standing for specifying who I am, and "Chandler" being my ''last name''.

I tell you, I'm so sick of getting all this disrespect. You dis—you continue dissing me, you're dissing [[Charlottesville]], and everybody—and all the indi—and all the individual citizens, and als—you also diss [[Ruckersville]]. I'm so sick of the [[Speech Impediment|disrespest]]. We do not need disrespect in this world, all it does is just... makes me feel bad. And do you want me to feel bad? Do you want me to stop drawing the [[comic]]s? [''shakes head''] And I am not going to stop drawing the comics, not as long as I [''begins singing, with his usual level of talent''] [[CWC Dare|DARE!]] TO! [[KCWC_Top_10_Dedication_Special#Part_1:_.2310|SURVIIIIIVE!]] It's calling me on to victory! [''stops, to the relief of millions'']

Anyway, all I'm—anyway, I am definitely getting all th—into the works. It's all in the papers... everything is in the papers.

[''Chris begins to speak in the rhythm of the song he's about to sing (or tries to, anyway)'']

So, all I'm askin', ya dern dummy 
Cause guess what? I give ya all my workin'. 
I'm castin', my [[Semen|pearls]] before [[Barb|swine]]. 
But yet do I complain? [[Lie|Not really]]. 
All I'm askin', in return dudes and dudettes 
'sa lil' bit of respet. 

'Cause ya you know me. I'm the [[Chris and Art|artist]]. 
I'm the [[Things Chris Has Ripped Off|original]], there's no [[Liquid|substitute]]. 
If you don't like it, well y'all can go [[Asperchu|sommere else]] 
like to Hell. 

Eh, but the rest of you, give me my praises 
I tell you what, you'll get my blessin's. 
and I tell you what, trolls, you're so trollin' stupid 
don't give a dare. 

[''finishes drawing, then holds up the artistic abortion he has created'']

Fresh sample; match it to any book. 'Cause you know, all I'm asking for...

[''jump cut to Chris cueing Aretha Franklin performing and Chris preparing to [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|rape it with his mouth]]'']

What you want, man I got it. 
What you need, you know I got it. 
All I'm askin'--PEOPLE!--is for a li'l respect. 

Der be lel beh, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a little bit, 
Just a little bit. 

I ain't gonna do you wrong, where you goin', WOMAN? 
[''Mumbles incoherently through this entire line''] 
But all I'm askin', is for a little respect. 

Der be lel beh, [''dramatic glasses removal''] baby, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a litle bit, 
Just a little bit. 

Uz give you all my workin'. 
And all I'm askin' returndudesanddudettes, 
Is to PRAISE me, und duh pluz smer git ho! [''sic''] 

AY, SHOUT IT LOUD I'M TRUE! 
[[High_school#Graduation|PRAISE ME!]] 
HAVE FAITH! Show me respect! 
I'm so sick of that hazing and mislabelings! 
You keep it up you're gonna continue to be cursed! 
Otherwise withthetrue andthefaithful, y'all continue to get my blessin's! 
Oooh, YA PRAISES! 
Sweeter'n honey. 
But guess what? 
[[Semen|Salt]] is my money. 
Oh, what you do for me ip—dip—is [[ego|praise me when you get home!]] 
Bleah, baby! 
PRAISE ME WHEN YOU GET HOME! 
LADIES! [[Chris and Rape|give it to me]]! 
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me! 
R-E-S-T-E-D-C, [[Semen|drink it]], TCB! 
[[Sex|Suckittome, suckittome, suckittome, suckit]]—GIVE ME RESPECT!

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Scale of Respect]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 20 August 2009]]|nextlink=[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries|2009-08-22]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-22]]

Liquid Chris

2011-11-12T00:11:27Z

BULLAY: /* In the comic */

{{Improve|massive reorganization|Expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga'' for great justice. Add details and citations.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | <s>Trolls</s> Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Liquid Chris
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Chris Chandler<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref> Jeff<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref>
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 24 February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Kacey]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer Musician
|-
|}
'''Liquid Chris''' (born 24 [[February 1982]]) is the '''[[TRUE and HONEST]] Christian Weston Chandler''' (ORIGINAL IDENTITY — DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu]].

==Prologue==
[[June 2009]] was a busy month for [[Christian]] (henceforth '''[[Metal Gear Solid|Solid Chris]]'''), with both highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris, [[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]}}

==Liquid Saga==
{{Protip|If you're going to call Chris "Ian", do so only in the context of this saga.}}

====A challenger appears====
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid Chris torturing the impostor.|thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
* A paper Sonichu medallion
* A striped shirt (brown)
* Pedo-glasses
* Obesity (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
* Autism

All of which, of course, made him almost [[Chris and Reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

====Ian Brandon Anderson====
:''Main Article: [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their docs (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu".

The next piece fell into place when he posted his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]] video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]". When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson". Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

===CWCivil War begins===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Now_Selling_the_OFFICIAL_and_ORIGINAL_SONICHU_Merchandise_of_CWC.2C_NO_FAKERIES_OR_IMPOSTORY|video]] that reeled Solid in hook, line, and sinker, having sold Sonichu merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC]". HE IS CRAPPY, and his Nasal Voice is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

==The battleground==

===="More Than A Feeling"====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]

For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at ''Guitar Hero'' and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris.]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''

More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009#Liquid.27s_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====''SingStar'' Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris.]]
{{Main|SingStar Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, [[SingStar Challenge|"''SingStar'' Challenge"]]}}

[[Fail|And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.]]

As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of four votes in favor, two against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
* That he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
* That he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a ''Sonichu'' game for all consoles.
* That Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

==="SHOWDOWN"===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}

{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, [[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]}}

On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to arrest Liquid for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.

{{quotebox|If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like [voice cracks] you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]</ref>}}

==="I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up."===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_Gs7ZqOl2CA}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the ''SingStar'' Contest. Also, More Updates on ''Sonichu'' and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]]}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The ''Singstar'' Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[Internet]] knows that I am, he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edgewise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|"The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who"]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|CzDj29Vy7ro}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

===CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo===
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}

Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.

In the [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him '''"the previous Chris"'''. In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him '''"the other Chris"''' repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the real Chris.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fLVg6VkxpLY}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===
Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free]] females with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo]] DS and [[Xbox]] 360, respectively.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M</ref> On 27 July 2011, Liquid bid fond faredieu to the trolling universe on YouTube by closing his account.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Lav-RaVcYXQ}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}

'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

==Irony==
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|left|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].]]
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE.]]
IBAChandler has mocked Liquid on several points:

* [[Speech Impediment|His nasal tone.]]
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt.]]
* [[Chris and Money|Actually making money off ''Sonichu''.]]
* [[Fat|His appearance.]]

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and worse when the mirror is winning.

In early August 2009,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref> Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.

In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating...or something...in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The impostor [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycat-ly [sic] sieze [sic] to the extreme!]]

On 17 [[November 2009]], the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Ian, being the slanderous troll that he is, had the nerve to imply that Liquid's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried to convince everyone that he, Solid was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu.

Of course, since the comic is made by the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown to him in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]].

Chris planned a future plot where [[Giovanni]] captured [[Rosechu]] and forced Chris to cede control over [[CWCville]] to the browned-striped impostor.<ref>[[CWC Blog#20 November 2009]]</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ayObshLZQwI}}
| Stardate = 2 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s1SBdwZDN1k}}
| Stardate = 4 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dYrgl-otclY}}
| Stardate = 6 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game.
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Solid Chris]]
* [[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]
* [[Jimmy Hill]]
* [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], another doppelganger of Chris featured in the Sonichu comics

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheCWCvilleLibrary#g/c/51E59E5BF480DBD4 Archived versions of all of Liquid's videos]
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/The_Real_Chris_Chan#.22Christian_Weston_Chandler.22] on [[ED]]

 {{SingStarChallenge}} 
{{Template:The_Cwcivil_War_of_2009}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

100 2265

2011-11-01T15:21:32Z

BULLAY: /* Transcript */

[[File:Robble.jpg|thumb|left|Graphic re-enactment of the video]]
[[File:Hamburglar.jpg|thumb|The Hamburglar laughs at an [[Ian Brandon Anderson|impostor]]]]

'''100 2265''' is a [[Random access humor|bizarre, nonsensical]] video [[Chris]] uploaded on 3 [[October 2010]]. In it, we see Chris, clad in his female support garment and what appears to be some sort of black wrapping, babbling about hamburgers in an incoherent manner. He tries to imitate the fast-food icon [[wikipedia:Hamburglar|the Hamburglar]] by prancing around [[Chris's room|his room]] shouting "robble robble" in a nasally, high-pitched voice. Once again, Chris somehow manages to screw things up as his costume lacks several key elements.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2265
| video = {{#ev:youtube|OmYg3MRJKt0}}
| stardate = 3 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Robble}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]
| next = [[100 2266]]
}}

{{quote|Robble, robble, robble!}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:RonaldWTF.png|thumb|Ronald would like to congratulate the CWCki's experts of video transcription... not that the transcription helped him much in this case.]]

''[Chris appears in his [[muscle bra]] with strips of black paper taped over his rotund figure. He has likewise taped over his eyes, to imitate the Hamburglar's mask]''

'eeyyyyyy folks! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Some of the tape has fallen off, Chris adjusts it.]''

I'm Hamburglar here! Deep fat-frying [[For Julies Eyes Only|fat-ridin]]'(?) robber here! Robble, robble!

''[Chris points to a blurry, out-of-focus image of a Big Mac on his television]''

I'm gonna steal me that Big Mac there! Robble, robble, robble! It's so delicious! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Chris moves closer to the screen and begins gesturing at the image.]''

Oh, robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Two whole/all beef patties! Robble, robble, robble, robble! [[Navy|Special Sauce]]! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Onions, [[pickle]]s, cheese! Robble, robble, robble, robble! All on a sesame seed bun! ''[Chris pronounces "bun" like "biyun" here.]'' Robble, robble, robble!

''[The image of the Big Mac briefly comes into focus.]''

MCDONAAAALD'S! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Robble, robble, robble!

==See also==
*[[McDonald's]]
*[[Obesity]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]|nextlink=[[100 2266]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-03]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-03]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-03]]