CWCki - User contributions [en]

Sonichu 3

2012-06-22T04:54:41Z

Bailoroc: /* Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies" */ Fixed a minor spelling error.

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu'' #3
| cover = Issue3.jpg
| coverdate = 20 June 2005
| finishedcomic = 21 Feb 2006
| pagecount = 45
| episodes = 10-11
| sub-episodes = 4
| previous = [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]
| next = [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #3''' is the fourth issue of the series.

This issue introduces the [[Chaotic Combo]], the five Electric Hedgehogs who basically exist to be Sonichu and Rosechu's friends. Rather than just have more [[rainbow]] beams hit unsuspecting [[Pokémon]], Chris gets it in his head that baby Sonichus would be cute and decides to spend all of Episode 10 chronicling the entire life stories of five different characters. Each of the Combo's origin stories are virtually identical, as they are created as eggs from the magical rainbow and then deposited umpteen years in the past, where they're adopted by people or Pokémon who cultivate their abilities until they evolve. Making matters worse, Chris's concept for [[Sonee and Rosey|baby Sonichus and Rosechus]] is that they are unable to speak beyond saying "Sonee?" or "Rosey!", thereby guaranteeing page upon page with almost no intelligible dialogue. The troll community almost unanimously agrees that "Sonichu Babies" is one of the most aggravating pieces of Sonichu material made, and is the most likely to result in some kind of violence, due to the irrational anger it can and has caused. This issue took Chris ''seven months'' to complete; even he seems to have struggled to get through it.

In Episode 11, the Chaotic Combo is united for the first time by Sonichu, whereupon they [[Target|dogpile]] [[Blake|Black Sonichu]] in a six-on-one beatdown.

==Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"==
{{-}}
{{Resources
| title =Sonichu Babies
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_1 ''Episode 10''
| videobook =Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook#Episode_10{{!}}''Episode 10''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic4P1.htm ''Episode 10''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q_dTiRnkUA&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=10 ''Ep. 10 (1 of 2)''
| audiobook2 =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEx92oxso6c&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=11 ''Ep. 10 (2 of 2)''
}}
[[Image:MagiChanFarts.JPG|thumb|Inappropriate flatulence is something [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|Chris also experiences.]]]]
It is explained that the [[rainbow]] of Chaos Energy that emerged from Sonichu's collision with Sonic created five eggs that landed in various areas within a few miles of [[CWCville]]. [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the narrator, congratulates himself on this cute intro, and presents what [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] would have looked like if they had been born as Sonee and Rosey, which makes no sense because they first appeared fully-grown, having evolved from mature Pokémon.

Each of these eggs is shown hatching into a new baby [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. First, the green egg lands in the jungle and the hatchling is raised by a [[Venusaur]] and a [[Scyther]], who teach him various survival skills. In time, [[Wild Sonichu]] develops his ability to shoot vines from his arms, fly with his propeller-like tail (a skill he has never once used), and camouflage himself into his surroundings.

The blue egg lands in the ocean, where it is recovered by a [[Swampert]] who takes it to the beach to hatch. The resulting Rosey loves to play in the water with her "mother," until one day a [[Boulder-Dropping Whale|Wailord inexplicably drops a boulder]] onto Swampert, causing it to sink into the depths. Terrified, the Rosey tries to save Swampert, but is too weak; however, its effort causes it to evolve, and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] is able to save her. Bubbles is so happy to reveal her origin that she decides to make a seashell necklace (which we never see), just like the stupid vagina-having strumpet she is.

The white egg somehow ends up at the doorstep of an convent, where it is discovered by some nuns who live there. The nuns raise the white Rosey, who learns the Roman Catholic faith alongside them. They also inexplicably keep her eggshell around, presumably as a memento or proof of a miracle. (Catholics love the latter.) She evolves into [[Angelica Rosechu]] in her sleep one night, and conveniently Christian Chandler is [[attraction location|outside her bedroom window]] with shoes and a scrunchie for her to wear in her new form (even though the other Sonichus and Rosechus just get new clothing for no reason after evolving).

The red egg crashes into Nabe's [[Wikipedia:dojo|dojo]]-shin, immediately hatching into a Sonee. Inspired by his surroundings, the Sonee tries to fight. Mypoe accepts the Sonee's challenge, and for no apparent reason rips its fucking tail right off its Got-dang body (holy shit!). This trauma causes the Sonee to evolve into [[Punchy Sonichu]]. Punchy uses his impressive strength to Sky Uppercut Mypoe straight through the roof, never to be seen again. Impressed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Nabe offers to teach Punchy the ways of the martial arts, at which Punchy excels.

The purple egg hatches inside a mysterious mountain, where it seems to be alone. However, the Sonee is telepathically contacted by [[Mewtwo]] from a nearby city. Mewtwo has noticed the Sonee's telepathic powers and wishes to mentor him in the use of those abilities. In this way the Sonee learns to master his abilities and vicariously learns about the outside world and [[Wikipedia:Jackie Chan|Jackie Chan]] movies. One day during his routine meditation he evolves into [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]]. Then he farts. Seriously. Mewtwo congratulates Magi-Chan and sends him off to find his destiny, promising that they will meet in person someday... '''SPOILER:''' They don't.

===Advertisement 1===
Join [[MySpace]], the premier online community for dudes of all [[pedofork|teenages]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-minds]], and [[Saddest Heart in the World|cutters]]! Chris already has, and he needs more friends. At this time, Sonichu is his only friend =(
{{-}}

===Analysis===
The stories are [[Chris and writing|unsurprisingly dull and clichéd]]. Three of the five stories follow the same pattern: Egg is found by foster parents and hatches, foster parents teach child valuable skills as child struggles to accomplish them, and child evolves after an unspecified time and has suddenly mastered the aforementioned skills. Bubbles's story is similar, without the "valuable skills" part. Punchy's story is the only one that deviates from the formula, and therefore the only one that's remotely interesting. Indeed, the pages each story occupies are nearly identical in layout.

==Episode 11: The Chaotic Combo in "When Hedgehogs Meet"==
{{Resources
| title =When Hedgehogs Meet
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_13 ''Episode 11''
| videobook =Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook#Episode_11{{!}}''Episode 11''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic4P7.htm ''Episode 11''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxjNwj7T_iU&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=20 ''Episode 11''
}}
[[Image:Exposition.JPG|thumb|''Sonichu 3'' demonstrates Chris' subtle use of exposition.]]
''When Hedgehogs Meet'' is probably supposed to sound like a really epic title, but, due to the fact that hedgehogs are inherently silly animals, any such drama falls flat. The story is introduced by [[Flame the Sunbird]], who explains the significance of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], a mystical artifact that must remain safe on his island to prevent people from growing or losing [[Pickles|extra appendages]].

Just then [[Black Sonichu]] jumps out of a helicopter on orders from [[Naitsirhc]] to steal the very same stone Flame was just telling us about. The black fiend, being larger and stronger than Flame, easily overpowers him and, having a simplistic notion of justice, takes the Sunstone away on his hoverboard. Flame goes after him, and attempts to subdue Black Sonichu with Drill Peck, but the devious darkie uses Double Team to confuse his pursuer.

Amid this commotion, Black Sonichu's hoverboard somehow creates a wave that washes over the beach as he reaches the mainland, thoroughly drenching [[Bubbles]], who was relaxing on the shore. With little regard for others, Blachu speeds through the jungle, knocking [[Wild]] off-balance as he swings through the trees. Finally, in another part of the wilderness, [[Punchy]] is practicing his punches when he catches his spiky knuckles on the hoverboard, and he is dragged along for the ride.

Near her convent, [[Angelica]] is using her powers to somehow cause flowers to grow in a lovely pattern that reads "HOPE & PEACE" (even though, since she's the only one who can fly, she's the only one who can see it). Just then Black Sonichu and Punchy zoom by, with Punchy hitting a tree and falling from the hoverboard. While Angelica checks on Punchy, Bubbles, Wild, and Flame catch up. Each of the hedgehogs is delighted to meet others of their kind, and make introductions. From a distance, [[Magi-Chan]] observes this and realizes the others are forgetting about Blachu, so he zaps off to remind them.

Meanwhile, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] finally bothers to show up on page 23 of his own damn comic, having somehow already arrived at the conclusion that a black guy is out stealing things. Just before Blachu can reach the safety of Team Rocket's headquarters, Sonichu intercepts him. After a brief scuffle, Sonichu finds he has reinforcements - Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, Punchy, Flame, and Magi-Chan have all teleported in. Black Sonichu remains defiant, perhaps due to unconscionable amounts of crack cocaine and PCP he has ingested. While Flame falls into a bush and exits the fight, the hedgehogs huddle up and Sonichu comes up with a brilliant strategy:

{{quote|Avoid his attacks, and attack him with your punches, kicks, wing attacks; that sort!}}

The [[Chaotic Combo]] employs this plan of attacking their opponent while not letting him hit them, but little strategy is needed when it's six against one, and Black Sonichu is easily beaten by superior numbers.

===Advertisement 2===
An advertisement for an escort/prostitution service specifically catered to the needs of welfare-livin', homebound, 20-something male virgins. FREE!

==Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"==
{{Resources
| title =McAttack
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_31 ''Sub-Episode 4''
| videobook =Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode_4{{!}}''Sub-Episode 4''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic4P16.htm ''Sub-Episode 4''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3G6fHSV7po&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=15 ''Sub-Episode 4''
}}
One year and ten months have now passed since [[Christian Weston Chandler]] began his [[Love Quest]], but he has still been unable to locate "an 18-23-year-old, [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend free]], caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]], white girl to build a relationship from the [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ground-up]] with." We find Chris at [[McDonald's|M-C-Dville]] in the region of [[Mal-Wart]], drawing comics and listening to music on his [[Nintendo]] DS and generally not purchasing food or otherwise justifying his presence there. He blames his inadequacy on all men everywhere (except for himself and [[Bob Chandler|his father]]), who have taken all of the pretty girls for themselves. In happier thoughts, Chris is glad to have <s>paid for</s> earned a pair of [[Anime Wings|hair clips shaped like wings]] at a recent anime convention, although this prize was probably intended for a twelve-year-old girl.

Just then, the McDuo of M-C-Dville, [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], arrive. They have been notified by the [[Jerkhief]] of [[Fa-Square]] that Christian is on a quest to find true love, which is forbidden in Mal-Wart. Backed up by an army of the Jerkhief's [[Mecha-Jerkops]], they accuse Chris of solicitation. Chris makes a boring speech and refuses to back down, and the Mecha-Jerkops advance upon him. However, just then [[Darkbind Sonichu]] makes his debut, slicing the Mecha-Jerkops into pieces with his sword. Darkbind acknowledges his loyalty to Chris due to him being both the mayor of [[CWCville]] and his creator.

Chris summons the [[anchuent powers]] of his [[medallion]] to become [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and somehow the anime wings become real wings on his head, making him into [[Super Chris-chan Sonichu]]. While Darkbind dismembers the cybernetic Merried Seinor Comic, Chris takes to the air to combat B-Manajerk with Aerial Ace, Double Team, and Thunderbolt. With his trusty [[Pixelblocks]], Chris-Chan creates a decoy of himself, which B-Manajerk mistakes for the real thing and attacks with his axe. The broken pieces of Pixelblocks become lodged his skin, diverting him while Chris sneaks up from behind with a Sky Uppercut. [[Homos|Yes, he did an uppercut to the back.]] With the villains defeated, Darkbind hurries to leave before Chris can revert to human form and deliver his big speech:

{{quote|Now, as for you two [[Manajerks]], the pain that you both are feeling now should be punishment enough for going against me in my quest for a [[Boyfriend-free girl]] to love and trust! I do not care about your rules, either of you, or any male other than my father and myself! But let me make it perfectly clear that in my quest it is very hard for me to find a girl due to the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]! And I do not want to risk getting a punch in the face from a [[jerk]]! Also, since the ladies are unable to notice my person, because [[Women's rights|they mostly have shopping on their minds]], I have to loudly spell it out. So, place, just leave me alone with my Love Quest!}}

This simple request is refused by a voice over the intercom, and Chris finds himself beset by the ruler of the Mal-Wart Region, the dreaded [[W-M-Manajerk]].

[[Sub-Episode 5|TO BE CONTINUED...]]

===Back Cover===
As with ''Sonichu'' #2, early editions feature the personal army request page, while the most recent [[CWCipedia]] version features ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''.

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Issue 3
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Issue3.jpg|Cover
File:SchuComic4Page01.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page02.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page03.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page04.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page05.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page06.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page07.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page08.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page09.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page10.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page11.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page12.jpg
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File:SchuComic4Page14.jpg
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File:SchuComic4Page16.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page17.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page18.jpg
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File:SchuComic4Page21.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page22.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page23.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page24.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page25.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page26.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page27.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page28.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page29.jpg
File:SchuComic4Page30.jpg
Image:SchuComicFreeBack.jpg|Early Back Cover
Image:Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg|Revised Back Cover
</gallery>}}</center>

==See Also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
*[[Chaotic Combo]]
*[[B-Manajerk]]
*[[Merried Seinor Comic]]
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category: Sonichu comic book issues]]

Talk:Sylvana

2012-06-17T00:55:29Z

Bailoroc: /* Wait, I thought Silvana was a Psychic type */ new section

Wait, someone fill me in on her motivation. I mean, she doesn't have a vendetta or any real reason to fuck with them mutants in CWCville. She doesn't need the Sonichu Balls, right? Why rape Blake?

-[[User:Jump|Jump]] 17:34, 3 July 2009 (CEST)

* This is Chris-chan we're talking about. He'll use any excuse to vilify anyone who wrongs him, really. As the page states, though, she probably represents the trolls who pretend they're girls. And I'm guessing he chose Blake because, well, he was the first evil Sonichu-thing and, well... he needs to be punished.

Or I could be thinking things over too much.

-[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 12:50 July 3 2009 (EDT)

So, essentially, we have a canonical villain who just does things for the lulz? I cant decide whether to laugh or cry. [[User:Jump|Jump]] 00:42, 7 July 2009 (CEST)

"communicating with her through telekinesis"
Chris, that's telepathy. Tele-empathy. Empathy at range. Telekinesis, energy-at-range, is manipulation of objects or forces without physical contact, e.g. traditional move-object telekinesis. Unless he meant communing with her by, say, arranging rocks into Morse code or using a burnt-down redwood as a gigantic charcoal stick to write messages legible from the moon. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 18:46, 10 October 2009 (CEST)

*Clearly she is a disciple of Lord Volfemort. She probably has the real Magi-chan bondage somewhere.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:14, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

== A thought... ==

Does anyone else wonder if Chris might have based Silvana on the concept of the Pokemon, Mawile? After all, it is the Deciever Pokemon that supposedly uses its docile appearance to fuck around with people. He could've simply combined this with the fact that several trolls throughout the years have been pretending to be women in order to screw arround with the ignorant fuck. What do you think? -[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 17:56, 25 October 2009 (CEST)
*This [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Mawile_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 thing]? I suppose it isn't out of the realm of possibility... Though everything just seems to be a Rosechu or Sonichu with some extra tidbit... like being a dickgirl or raised by plants. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:57, 25 October 2009 (CET)
*Wasn't the whole point to base her on the trolls who pretended to be women? That was the whole thing behind the sex scene where Silviana pretended to be Bubbles and had sex with Black Sonichu. I don't really think it's much broader than that. But, then, it's not beyond Chris to have to rip a couple of things off to make a flat character. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 00:32, 26 October 2009 (CET)
**I suppose. But then again, we'll never know what little thought goes on in his mind... -[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]]
*** Chris isn't that witty. She'd have a huge fake mouth if she were based on it. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:34, 26 October 2009 (CET)
****Good point. But then again, it was only an idea. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]]

== Silvana has the most personality out of all of the Rosechus ==

Think about it, she runs around being evil while the others shop and make their forced boyfriends look STRAIGHT. Also, she gets more characterization on magi-chan's cwckipedia page. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 01:07, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
*I know....It's a shame Chris is going to transform her into yet another labotomized Rosechu by pairing her up with Magi-Chan...Silvana's really the only one of Chandler's misserable creations that I actually like :( --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 21:28, 14 April 2010 (EST)
**Damn. I thought I was weird for actually liking one of Chrissy's characters, glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks that way. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 10:05, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Even worse news, he's probably destroyed her shape shifting power too--that was a gift from Graduon and is therefore gone. Way to demote a female character, that was her only power.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:14, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh yeah. He's already paired them up. Next time you see them in Sonichu 11 she'll be with Magi-Chan. Chris announced on CWCipedia that after Sonichu 10, Magi-Chan teleported to her and they made up and all that shit. So yeah, that story arc is now resolved. Offscreen. Again. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
*Yes, but he still needs to draw it into the comic for it to be canon. I say we spam his mailbag protesting Silvana's character demotion and some shit while we still have a chance to save what's left of her... --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]]8:53, 15 April 2010 (EST)
** Solution: The current Asperchu ad must be joined by the page where she kills Magi-chan. Shortly after that, she can show up in CB.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:13, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
***Sounds like a plan. Somebody tell Mao. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]]11:56, 15 April 2010 (EST)
There is a small chance that she will be portrayed as a black woman stereotype, considering his demanding "fans" want more diversity in his comics, but if that were the case, she would still have more personality than the average rosechu.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 02:58, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
* Yeah--she'll have a black chick personality just like how Lolisa has a "radio host type personality" or how Bubbles is supposed to be, what was it, "energetic but serious also SMART AND NOT A LOVEABLE RETARD"? Would still be funny to watch Chris try.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:13, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

==Silvana = Astronemaa?==

Wow, never thought that Chris would actually go that far and, after thinking about it, it makes perfect sense! Their origins are pretty much the same (Silvana was a Rosechu who was taken in by Graduon and turned into an evil force while Astronema was the sister of Red Ranger Andros who was kidnapped by one of the evil villains and turned evil) and that they were turned good by magic...

...oh, god. Fridge Logic here: if Silvana is Astronema ripped off, does this mean Graduon's staff being broken is Chris ripping off the death of Zordon?!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 22:55, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
*If you see a distinct parallel, then yeah, that's probably exactly the case. I just realized the Astronema thing early this morning; I knew Chris wasn't original enough to come up with Silvana's backstory on his own, I just didn't know where he ripped it from until then. (I was watching some Power Rangers thing on thatguywiththeglasses.com, don't ask). There was some speculation he stole it from Digimon, but I didn't think that fit because he (strangely) hasn't taken anything else from there. [[User:Chupacabra|Chupacabra]] 05:53, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

== Wait, I thought Silvana was a Psychic type ==

I was just doing a little wiki walk here (because Chris really is that fascinating for all the wrong reasons) and when I got to the Silvana article, it says she's an Electric/Dark type. But when I checked back on the TRUE and HONEST page in chapter 8 with her introduction, Chris clearly typed Psychic type. So what's the deal? Did Chris make some stupid retcon on his wiki and never bothered to alter the comic pages due to "stress"? Or is this supposed to be because of the plot wrap up with Colossal Chris-Chan smashing Graduon's staff? Something else? I wouldn't put it past Chris to change something in his comic for arbitrary reasons but if that's the case, then that's probably something that should be mentioned in the article, even if it's just a quick one-sentence recap. --[[User:Bailoroc|Bailoroc]] 17:55, 16 June 2012 (PDT)

Vitameatavegamin

2010-10-23T03:23:51Z

Bailoroc: /* Transcript */

'''Vitameatavegamin''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris repeats, almost verbatim, a well-known bit from the ''[[I Love Lucy]]'' TV show, where Lucy hawked a patent medicine.

Chris does a reasonably good job of repeating the lines, but his rapid delivery mangles the sentence [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|"Do you poop out at parties?"]]

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Vitameatavegamin
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gAqqSJssgBQ}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = Unknown White T
| previous = [[Gilligan Be or Not]]
| next = [[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Lucy_Shocked.jpg|thumb|Lucille Ball reacts seeing a beloved comedy skit of hers being bastardized by Chris]]
[''Chris walks on camera and waves cheerfully.'']

Hello, friends! I'm your Vitameatavegamin man! Are you tired, [[Chris and health|run-down]], [[Stress|listless]]? [[Chris and English|D'yapoopaparties]]?!
[''He waves his head around in a circle.'']

Are you [[Chris|unpopular]]? The answer to all your problems... in this little bottle!

[''He picks up a bottle of vitamin pills.'']

Vitameatavegamin! Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, [[Pickle|vegetables]] and minerals! Yes, with Vitameatavegamin you can [[Homos|spoon your way to health]]. Just take one tablespoonful after every meal.

[''He mimes eating a spoonful of the bottle's contents.'']

It's so tasty, too! It tastes just like [[Fanta|can-daay]]! So why don't you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin TA-MORROW! That's Vita-meata-vegamin!

[''He puts down the bottle and walks off camera.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gilligan Be or Not]]|nextlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

File:Lucy Shocked.jpg

2010-10-23T03:19:53Z

Bailoroc: An image I'm going to upload to the Vitameatavegamin video entry since it works.

An image I'm going to upload to the Vitameatavegamin video entry since it works.

User:Bailoroc

2010-10-13T06:16:17Z

Bailoroc:

{{collapsible|Userbawxes|
<center>{{Christian}}
{{Straight|male}}
{{JERK}}
{{White}}
{{Americunt}}
{{Troper}}
{{Armchair Psychologist}}
{{VivianGee}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
{{ClydeCash}}
{{JackThaddeus}}
{{BlueSpike}}
{{LiquidChris}}
{{Evan}}
{{Observer}}</center>
}}

Just a "new fag" as is the common slang around these parts. I'm mostly here to read up on the horror that is Chris-chan, though I sometimes add in a wiki link here or there. My goal in the near future is to write an article about Chris and Sexism in more detail than is currently provided under the "Women's Rights" article, though I'll be sure to keep that on my user page unless it gets approved or something.

Chris and hypocrisy

2010-10-02T09:31:13Z

Bailoroc: /* "They set me on fire!" — Slander */ The link URL changed, so I'm just updating it so the correct page shows up instead of an error.

{{quote|I am a man who stands strong and true and by the main woman in his life.|[[Chris]], on remaining faithful to [[Ivy]]<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I love you|Chris to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], 35 minutes later<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]'']]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

[[Chris]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Godjesus|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], or the [[JERKS|entire male sex.]] In the past he's faulted [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]], although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to [[McDonald's]]. And when he can't fault other people for his problems, Chris relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==

=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===

In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 28-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|US government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s, he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Then he created a [[Zapina|14-year-old]] character who attends high school in a scandalously revealing outfit. At age 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics ''[[Count Graduon]]''.

There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word [[naïve]], have been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing Pokémon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren playing Pokémon with little kids can be hardly considered as voluntary service. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played cards.

Much like how acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''Harry Potter'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him [[Chris and Copyright|a dime]]). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish Charlottesville residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]], and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping one's hands off]] women.

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets money and/or sympathy from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell." Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "[[blacks]]" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the mailbags, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]], and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's Syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's Syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to Megan that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it." Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that homos are an abomination before God. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC_(02_January_2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay be saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old-Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old-Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old-Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on Family Guy is still valid.

In the world of Sonichu, the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV, or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own semen, and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the game ''Katamari Damacy'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "I Love the Nightlife," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as Backstreet Boys songs. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie.

'''Chris shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.'''<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective over Sonichu and the whole media franchise he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. People would frown on, but begrudgingly stomach, the idea that a writer who used to write fan fiction would strike it big through original works and then tell people not to create any fan fiction based on ''their'' works — legally appropriate, but it would show that the author has forgotten their roots. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris doesn't have all rights to Sonichu, and hasn't quite graduated to the "original works" club. He makes fan fiction and then whines about fan fiction. Even when the media industry tries their darnedest to demonize copyright infringement as theft and everyone laughs at them as a result, let us just use an appropriate analogy here: ''thieves shouldn't whine when someone steals from them.''

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements, with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris seems to be honest about this, and says that he blatantly steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

However, at the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation of his, and has no problems attempting to dictate how people use this precious creation of his.<ref>[[Down with asperchu]]</ref> In short, he calls other works "fan fiction" and fails to realize that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. He had the gall to say Sonichu is "[[parody|parodic]]," but doesn't like creations that he has labeled "parodies" either.

Since ''LittleBigPlanet'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels — [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

Oh, and just to top it off: he's crying over [http://www.zazzle.com/sonichu+gifts VERY REAL] unauthorized [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu merchandise]], and profiting on (godawful) unauthorized [[eBay|Aqua Teen merchandise]].

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the mailbags, Chris describes CWCville as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then rounded up and ''fined $500'', money they could have otherwise spent on video games.

Several days later, Chris would use the Sonichu comic to rail against celebrity news website TMZ for invading the privacy of his electric hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie Sonee]] describing unnatural acts with a (possibly anthropomorphic) lizard.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The Game Place]] to the internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recorded an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent or knowledge. Not only has the irony completely escaped Chris, but he is deliberately spreading the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, believing that others will find him in the right despite his shady tactics. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to surreptitiously take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera.

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]

It is evident to the readers of Sonichu that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he felt the unique urge to incorporate them in the comic and having his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) literally beating them up.

The main victim of this treatment was Mary Lee Walsh, the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupting Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself in a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. This is not an isolated incident. He gave the same treatment to literally anyone who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes (but is not limited to) a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if the situation was contained in the comic itself. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) into [[To Clyde and Jack|committing suicide]]. In the comic [[Sonichu 10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. The last example is quite disturbing. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with the man known as [[Liquid Chris]], he saw no problem [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|yelling at him]], issuing [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]], and trying to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he introduced the gentleman in the issue [[Sonichu Special 4]] of his comic, where he shot him in the shins after disarming him. When the girlfriend, scared for her and her boyfriend's safety, asked him what it was all about, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. This insulted Chris so much that he felt the need to make a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he calls the attack made on him "horrendous" and vows that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] will avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

In late May 2010, Chris abandoned the [[CWCipedia]] after trolls overran it once again. In a message left behind, Chris claims that anything that doesn't come from his YouTube account, the former CWCipedia webpage or his [[OKCupid]] account is false and that anything shown elsewhere was made up just to slander ''him''. It's easy to see that Chris does not want others to see what kind of person he really is and thus claims that everything else that wasn't on something he created is false. Sadly, it doesn't work that way - just looking up his name in any of its forms brings up a lot of information about him, mostly the same things we already know about him. The Internet is a dangerous place and Chris doesn't know how dangerous it is.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===

A big example of Chris's hypocrisy is the ridiculously high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders in regards to hypocrisy are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|Government Welfare]] yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|overweight]] lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. That's right, serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10]]. This sequence was incredibly hypocritical, as he sentenced them to death and killed them '''as he listed off all the ways in which he wronged them.'''

In the [[05142010]] video, Chris shows us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to give up a character that didn't belong to him in the first place.

==="Don't be a moof or aloof" — Mature content===
{{Quote|I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross|Chris, on [[22 January 2010]].}}

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris is railing heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and thinks that realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> Yet, at the same time, he thought the ''Saw'' movie series was good, ''despite'' the gruesome deaths featured therein. Even if this is not outright hypocrisy, it's still clear that there's something very ''odd'' going on in here; it's clear that he's enjoyed some mature-rated works, but he's still clinging to teen-rated games at best — there's huge amounts of cognitive dissonance at work here.

Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[Pandahalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Remember, this is a comic for kids!]]

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. While these are both highly controversial means of inflicting capital punishment, they both exist in the real world as ways to accomplish something as terrible as ending a human life as quickly as possible, and in that way they are arguably humane.

By contrast, there is nothing humane or even reasonable about the deaths of Evan and Mao. Evan is shackled to a wall, and mutilated for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This outright torture included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, screaming in agony, Chris telekinetically burst his heart with not a bit of [[remorse]] or justification of why.

All of the violence in the final pages of Sonichu 10 is particularly egregious when compared to what the ''offenders'' came up with. While Asperchu and [[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]] feature violence and gore, it's all clearly over the top and meant to be humorous. Chris's depiction of violence comes across as dead serious, and he seems to hate the offenders with the fury of a thousand suns. Also of note is that most of the violent acts in Asperchu are committed by villains, like Metal Asperchu and [[Silvana]]. In Sonichu, these executions were carried out by the ''heroes'', including a [[Bill the Scientist|doctor]], a [[Sandy Rosechu|little girl]], and the [[Chris|mayor]].

Chris not only has difficulties understanding mature content when it comes to violence, but also sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu_is_a_Horrendous_Joke|he'll put tiny stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag_47#Mellow_out.2C_it.27s_just_furry_porn|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. Yet when it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris takes great pains to censor swear words and scold others for using them. Sonichu 10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime. He'll even censor vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap." However, none of this is being done for the children. Chris loves pornography and dislikes when other people swear (note that he swears all the damn time), so that's how his comic is going to be presented.

==="Nobody needs the Internet!" — Leaving the Internet forever===

On the afternoon of Sunday March 21st, Chris announced he was [[03212010_C-Ya_Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokemon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of Monday, March 22nd — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''The Cleveland Show'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN. Even if we assume that his definition of "leaving the internet" simply means "Not uploading videos or making comics", he's still failed to hold true to his vow on every occasion he's attempted to leave forever.

==="They took all the pretty girls, leaving none for me!" - Romantic rivalry===

One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[Jerks|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[Sweetheart|sweetheart]], he's insecure and jealous that someone will try to take her away.

And yet, he has no problem in sabotaging [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all Sonic the Hedgehog games regardless of quality, and wear and display Pokémon merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed Sonic and Pokémon when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User:Bailoroc

2010-10-01T02:06:00Z

Bailoroc:

{{collapsible|Userbawxes|
<center>{{Christian}}
{{Straight|male}}
{{JERK}}
{{White}}
{{Americunt}}
{{Troper}}
{{VivianGee}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
{{ClydeCash}}
{{JackThaddeus}}
{{BlueSpike}}
{{LiquidChris}}
{{Evan}}
{{Observer}}</center>
}}

Just a "new fag" as is the common slang around these parts. I'm mostly here to read up on the horror that is Chris-chan, though I sometimes add in a wiki link here or there. My goal in the near future is to write an article about Chris and Sexism in more detail than is currently provided under the "Women's Rights" article, though I'll be sure to keep that on my user page unless it gets approved or something.

Talk:Pokémon

2010-09-29T21:37:25Z

Bailoroc:

Right, first of all, why was that little paragraph about Chris rejecting the pokemon games as cannon for Sonichu's sake deleted? Because it seemed to be relevant information. Just asking. Also, Chris has given lists of pokemon used by people such as Naitsirhc on CWCipedia articles. I'm not quite sure, but I think that these Trainers teams warrant a little subsection of some kind. Also he mentioned that Naitsirhc had a Mewtwo, which may or may not be the same one that 'raised' Magi-Chan. Thats definitely getting a mention. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 04:06, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

It implied that he tossed all of Gen IV into discontinuity out of spite. The new Rosechu page implies that her father was a Luxray(Which makes sense, it's in the same Egg group as Raichu).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:13, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

Yeah. So why was that paragraph removed? Thats what i'm asking. It seemed like it was relevant information, but some editor deleted it, and I want to know why. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:36, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

He added a Luxray into his cannon. Luxray are generation IV. The paragraph was nothing more than blind speculation that was disproved by this addition. But go on ahead and add the trainer lists, that would work.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:44, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

Thank you. Sorry for seeming like such an idiot, but I wasn't aware of that thing about Luxray. I'm not too familiar with generation 4. As far as pokemon goes I've only played generation 1 so far. And i'll add in the bit about the Trainer pokemon later on then. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:16, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

I've noticed that the outgoing links to the wikipedia articles have no pictures or anything interesting. By constract, there is at least one Pokemon wiki out there that not only includes pictures but more information than one could possibly ask for. Now, I haven't played or cared about Pokemon since early High School but if I were to click on one of those links out of curiosity, I would at least like to see a picture so I knew exactly what I'm supposed to see (instead of a short, one-paragraph summary on Wikipedia that has no visual aids or more information if I was bored and wanted to read something for the heck of it). Would anyone mind if I changed the links from Wikipedia entries to entries from the Bulbapedia, which has an exhaustive 17,589 articles? I realize this is a lot of work, which is why I'm volunteering my time to this task if it pleases the higher-ups on the CWCiki. I just thought I'll ask since it makes sense to me that, if you're going to post an out-going link, it should be as informative as possible and have visual guides if available. Wikipedia is great if there are no better options but there are in this case.--[[User:Bailoroc|Bailoroc]] 03:46, 29 September 2010 (PDT)
*I've been on Bulbapedia quite a lot in my time, and I don't really see how those links are really any better than the ones that exist. They give more information, that's true, but the point of the article isn't to link to the base stats or egg moves of various pokemon, but rather to give a general idea to those who forgot/never had their childhood, and the Wikipedia articles do that well enough. If we were trying to educate people on EVERYTHING, I would wholeheartedly agree with you, but this is really about how the various pokemon pertain to Chris, rather than the pokemon themselves. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 08:17, 29 September 2010 (PDT)
**Well, I'll repeat myself again; the Wikipedia entries doesn't have any pictures. I click on the link and get a boring text. If I take the time to go to the Bulapedia, I can actually see what said Pokemon looks like. Maybe I'm missing something (and if I am, feel free to explain it to me) but I think people would have a better idea about how various Pokemon relates to Christian if we can actually see said Pokemon; that's why I suggested replacing the text-only Wikipedia link with the more informative and imaged-filled Bulapedia links.--[[User:Bailoroc|Bailoroc]] 14:37, 29 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Pokémon

2010-09-29T21:37:07Z

Bailoroc:

Talk:Pokémon

2010-09-29T10:46:09Z

Bailoroc: Just asking a question on discussion about improving an article.

Talk:Chris and race

2010-09-17T20:45:11Z

Bailoroc: /* Add in Chris' black face song? */ new section

Good work, Tyranogre! I'll try to contribute to the page, soon, too --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 08:53, 31 December 2009 (CET)

Nice start. Easily can be added on to and everything. Just a thought, though: should we include others he's shown hate towards? Y'know, like the homos and anyone with asperger's/low-function autism/"anything that tries to take Chris's spotlight"? --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 08:55, 31 December 2009 (CET)
* If we do that, we might as well call this page "Chris and discrimination" or "Chris and tolerance" or something. Personally I'd like to have a quick list of all the groups he's offensive to in one place. [[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 08:59, 31 December 2009 (CET)
** Actually, I'm surprised we haven't done just that! Chris hasn't shown discrimination towards just one group, he's shown it to everyone everywhere! I don't think we should delete this, just rename it into "Chris and discrimination", like you said!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:05, 31 December 2009 (CET)
*** Sure, let's rename it. Of course, first we need to convince Champ to remove the deletion tag... [[User:Tyranogre|Tyranogre]] 09:07, 31 December 2009 (CET)

== Why I'm nominating it for deletion ==

I can see ''some'' potential here but not much. Chris's dislike of blacks is just something trolls like to exaggerate - at best, Chris seems really uncomfortable around black people in the same way an upper class person would lock the car doors while going through the black neighborhood. It's not really racist, per say, that Chris doesn't like black chicks but I think the problem is that 1) he's not really in the position to be fussy about women, given who he is and 2) he's made it seem like that he would rather keep being a virgin than do a black girl (perhaps this question could be posed in the mailbag or the Common Questions). But he's not an outright racist. It's fun to suggest this to Chris because it irritates him, but really it's misleading to suggest he's some sort of closet KKK member. Bob on the other hand actually made a comment about Megan being a "dirty German girl" which is really old school racism but alas, we'll never have that call publicly.

Other races? You can really summarize it in one sentence - Chris's views of race come from TV and popular culture in general. Jews eat bagels and whine a lot, Asians are really good at math and karate, Native Americans do rain dances and say "How!", etc.

This article is trying to insinuate something about Chris that really isn't. I know we do this a lot but with race, it's really pushing it for its own article. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:09, 31 December 2009 (CET)
* Given his reaction toward black kids at Game Place, I'd ''definitely'' call him racist. --[[User:DirtyCrappedBriefs|DirtyCrappedBriefs]] 09:18, 31 December 2009 (CET)
* Okay, that's true. Though, as myself and a couple of others was saying above, I think this article should PROBABLY be retitled something like "Chris and discrimination" or "Chris and intolerance." and expanded on greatly. It's easy to see that Chris has shown hatred or dislike in a number of groups, not just blacks. And the sheer fact that Chris doesn't bother actually looking up stuff and, as you said, Chris just uses what he sees on TV and thinks that's how they actually act shows that he has no care for them and/or that he dislikes them because they go against what he is. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:25, 31 December 2009 (CET)
* Your points are valid. However, I think, this all may be fixed by renaming the page to "Chris and discrimination" or "Chris and tolerance" or "Chris and stereotypes". I agree that this article should encompass groups like Homos, Aspergers, Muslims, etc. And I agree that its main point should be moved from implying Chris's racism to just giving a quick overview of Chris's attitude towards various groups. So, my vote is: find a good new name, rename the article, and expand it to other groups. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 09:40, 31 December 2009 (CET)
*How about we rename this article "Chris and Minorities"? It can also be used for his views of others such as the Disabled. But I agree with you that he is not a Stormfront type of racist, he's more of a xenophobe. --[[User:AntonImausMk2|AntonImausMk2]] 00:30, 2 January 2010 (CET)
** I like this idea. There is much that can be said about Chris and minorities, but while Chris is racist, there's not enough material to write about to justify its own article. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 03:12, 2 January 2010 (CET)
* Chris said he "hates the Chinese" in [[BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3.5]] and does an insensitive impression of all Asians. In [[Mumble 4]] he does an impression of all black people, saying that they sound like Rastafarians. I'm going to say that yes, he is racist, but not extremely racist. There probably isn't enough of it to make a good page out of, tho. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 01:51, 2 January 2010 (CET)

==<s>Deletion Notice</s> (Void)==
I am putting this page on my "To-Watch" file. I will delete it in a week if it doesn't improve. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:44, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*Let's salvage anything usable (if there is anything) and add it to the [[Niggos]] article, then just leave this as a redirect. I don't think we're going to get enough material to make this worthwhile as a standalone page. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 04:53, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*I would rather move the Niggos article in to this one, and then have smaller subsections for other races. I agree that a lot of this article is exaggerated rubbish, but there's no denying that Chris is extraordinary awkward in his dealings with other cultures. We should cover his interactions with them, but in a more objective way. I would rather see a merge than a deletion. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 05:02, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*But is there really a lot we can say aside from "Chris's views of race come from popular culture"? As I said, Chris more or less absorbs what he sees from TV - thus Jews whine and eat bagels, Asians have buck teeth and say things like "Me so sowwy!," Indians no matter the tribe say "How!" and say things like "Smokum peace pipe!", etc. But does this really need its own article? The niggos article mostly serves as explaining the racism against African Americans, which does require some explaining since it comes up frequently. But I agree, we should salvage what we can if we can't make this into a full fledged article and incorporate it into the Niggos one.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:35, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
**Also, since when are you a moderator Griffintown? --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 05:03, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
***Since Champthom gave me the job. [[CWCki:Community Portal#Quality control jerkops|Here's the announcement]]. I read many people talking about what to do with pages while doing nothing. I strongly believe in deadlines to keep things going. Right now, this page sucks. Expanding the [[Niggo]] page would be a nice answer, adding new material for this page is also good. Let's find answers. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:56, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
**** Well Congratulation's on the promotion. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 19:36, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*I've begun moving some of the content from this page onto subsection "Chris and stereotypes" on the [[Niggos]] page, which should probably be retitled now. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 18:51, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
** While that's a good move, I'd rather see this page have the content of "niggos". I've always felt bad about having an entire page dedicated to a racist slur, even a slurred racist slur. Niggos could be mentioned as a minor cwcism, but it doesn't need it's own page. I guess what I'm trying to say is that "Chris and Racism" is a more scholarly sounding title to deal with Chris' interactions with other races than say "niggos". I'm going to try to save this article in favor or turning niggos into a cwcism stub. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 19:36, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*Alright, I've overhauled the article, feel free to tweak it or even revert it. However, do keep the changes I've made to the Native American section. It wasn't up to date. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 20:53, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*I think that was a good move. [[Niggos]] can be made a lot more succinct; it should probably stick to the reasons, events, and consequences around the time Chris came up with the word, as well as blacks in [[Sonichu (comic)]]. This page is much better for mulling about stereotypes in general. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 23:52, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Excellent initiative. I love the way the entry looks like for now. I am putting the Deletion Notice on hold. I want to see how awesome this page can get. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:59, 10 January 2010 (UTC)
The page is great. I remove the deletion notice. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:18, 10 January 2010 (UTC)
*I am enjoying this fine piece of Literature--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 19:22, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

==This page is shit==
Okay, not total shit but it looks like people just took stuff from "Niggos" and dropped them into here, I'm not really seeing why that stuff couldn't just stay in niggos since people are more or less just concerned about his relationship with African Americans. The other stuff is more or less really wordy things along the vein of "Chris uses stereotypes he really doesn't get."

I won't delete it (for now) since a lot of you have spent time on this, but seriously, this is a really messy, disorganized page. Also, someone come up with a better name for it. Maybe "Chris and race"? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:10, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
*As for dumping the niggos article into this one, that's almost exactly what I did, so the section on "blacks" needs some pruning. Is there a more politically correct term we could be using? "African American's" wouldn't encompass everything. Also, other suggested name changes are "Chris and discrimination" and "Chris and tolerance", however, both of those would expand the article to include religion, politics and sexuality; which would be a bit broad. I think it's fine to leave the article as "Chris and Racism" as long we make it explicit that Chris is not racist, just misinformed and slightly xenophobic. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 21:41, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
:*But that's the thing Megaman, why are we calling it "Chris and racism" if it turns out that Chris isn't really racist? And even if we argue that Chris is not really a racist, shouldn't we allow the reader to come to this conclusion for his or her self? I personally preferred the Niggos article as it was, but if we are going this route, I think that aside from reworking this article to improve for quality and organization, a better name can be used. I think by calling it "Chris and racism" we are essentially using a loaded term from the get go to imply that Chris is racist. Yes, it's fun to imply that Chris is some sort of KKK member who believes in white power but in reality, he's just really uncomfortable around black people but instead of being subtle like most white people who are like this, Chris is like "SORRY, NO BLACK LADIES." Not very PC but not full out racist. Likewise, Chris spouting tired sterotypes about Jews and Cherokees isn't so much racism, IMHO, just cultural insensitivity.
::I'm leaning towards "Chris and race" which reflects the article's intention to discuss Chris and his relations with other races, and allows the reader to decide for his or her self if Chris is indeed racist without having to broaden the scope of the article that an article title like "Chris and discrimination" could imply. Thoughts, people? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:01, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
:::I back the change for "Chris And Race". We need to keep the "Chris and ..." series as vague as possible. Affected as he is, I wonder if Chris even understand the concept of discrimination. Another interesting point, the use of the term "Race" would enable us in the future of adding any ethnic-related concepts. As an example, [[Ching Chong]] is still missing in this very page (another thing we can merge, YAY!). [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 22:12, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
::::*I don't think it's appropriate to merge Ching Chong into this page - Ching Chong is a character and an article about her should still be about this alleged little Chinese girl and not her racist depiction. It's like if we merged "Black Sonichu" into the Niggos article or this article just because he happens to be black. We can mention Ching Chong here but in the very least have a mention for her on the List of Sonichu characters page. I wish there was something along the lines of "List of troll created personas" (along the lines of Max Molvania, Ryan Cash, etc.) but I doubt we could go far with that. But yeah, I think I'll move this to "Chris and race."--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:41, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
::::That might be a good way to prune the main article, by making only links to directly referenced characters, rather than listing them. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 00:09, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

==Needs a summary/conclusion?==
It's a big article, and I feel it could use a wrapup/conclusion that hits the major points like how he only knows stereotypes from TV, that he's more xenophobic than supremacist, and that his prejudice isn't so much born out of hate or malice, but rather ignorance. Anyone else think there should be a wrapup? --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 20:56, 17 January 2010 (UTC)

== Chris on Chinese people. ==

The audio quality in that chat isn't the best, but he says "I don't ''mind'' Chinese people". It sounds like "like", but if you listen closely and consider the context, you can tell he didn't say that. He says he has no problem with them, and Julie doesn't follow up on it at all, and Julie used to call him on stuff like that. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 15:15, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

== Wasn't Chris? ==

Apparently, the Middle East section was removed with "wasn't chris" being the reason. Is there proof the livejournal wasn't Chris? [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 14:27, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
*Nevermind, found it. Thanks for removing it.[[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 14:30, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

== chris and language & other nationalities ==

after seeing many articles and chris's horrible use of non english (and english itself) languages, i've noticed that he does not comprehend even the most basic prececpt that anyone would know. for example, despie seeing so much anime and pretty much being a weeaboo, he can't even use -san or
-chan correctly, and then there is his horrible mangling of the spanish language. Also there is that stupid "freedom fries" thing on sonichu 9 (i think).

TL;DR: Should a section detailing chris ignorance of foreign language and culture be included?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:34, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

== Add in Chris' black face song? ==

Should we go ahead and add in Chris' song to Jackie that he did in black face? I think that adding under the part where it says race relations hasn't improved might be the best place but that's just me. I would do it myself but since I'm kind of new here, I guess I should let more experience CWCipedians do it. --[[User:Bailoroc|Bailoroc]] 13:45, 17 September 2010 (PDT)

User:Bailoroc

2010-09-17T20:42:16Z

Bailoroc:

<div style="clear:left; float:left;">
{{Christian}}
{{Troper}}
{{Straight|male}}
{{VivianGee}}
</div>

<div style="clear:right; float:right;">
{{JERK}}
{{White}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
{{BlueSpike}}
</div>

Just a "new fag" as is the common slang around these parts. I'm mostly here to read up on the horror that is Chris-chan, though I sometimes add in a wiki link here or there. I'm hoping to some day soon write an article about Chris and Sexism in more detail than is currently provided under the "Women's Rights" article, though I'll be sure to keep that on my user page unless it gets approved or something.

User:Bailoroc

2010-09-15T23:48:51Z

Bailoroc:

<div style="clear:left; float:left;">
{{Troper}}
{{Straight|male}}
{{Christian}}
</div>

<div style="clear:right; float:right;">
{{JERK}}
{{White}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
</div>

Just a "new fag" as is the common slang around here. I'm mostly here to read up on the horror that is Chris-chan, though I sometimes add in a wiki link here or there. I'm hoping to some day soon write an article about Chris and Sexism in more detail than is currently provided under the "Women's Rights" article, though I'll be sure to keep that on my user page unless it gets approved or something.

User:Bailoroc

2010-09-15T23:45:20Z

Bailoroc:

<div style="clear:left; float:left;">
{{Troper}}
{{Straight|male}}
{{Christian}}
</div>

<div style="clear:right; float:right;">
{{JERK}}
{{White}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
</div>

Toucher and Rich Segment

2010-09-04T09:42:07Z

Bailoroc: /* The video */ Turns out the first video wasn't complete; here are both parts in two youtube videos

[[For My Sweetest Ivy|One]] of [[Chris]]'s videos was the focus of a segment of '''Toucher and Rich''', a Boston-area radio show, that aired on 12 [[May 2009]]. This is one of the rare discussions of Chris in the mainstream and not by obsessives on the Internet. There are some details that the hosts of the show get wrong, like the apparent confusion of [[Ivy]] with [[Megan]], but this is understandable given that their knowledge of him is mostly second-hand.

Notice that no matter how much the hosts try to warp Chris's voice, the original is still the most disturbing.

==The video==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|NU5uMZU2CP0}}</center>
<center>{{#ev:youtube|e5a7HN0pa0w}}</center>

==Transcript==
'''Toucher:''' Sometimes you don't realize how big something's getting on the internet. We are Toucher and Rich -- Rich Shertenlieb, Crash Clark, Adolfo Gonzalez. My name is Fred Toettcher. Two ways to get involved with the show. Please feel free to instant feedback -- go to WBCN.com and click on "Instant Feedback," or give us a call at 617-931-1041 -- 617-931-1041. Here is the deal: we got sent a e-mail from a guy who said, "Look at, this is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a really long time. What the F is up with this guy?" And he was the guy, do you have "I Got A Fish?"

'''Rich:''' I got it right here, yeah. [''Plays clip from "[[I Got A Fish]]:"'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got a fish!<br />Would ya like to make a wish?<br />I got a fish!<br />Would ya like to make a wish?<br />I got a fiiiiiiiiish!<br />Would ya like to make a wish?<br /></font>

'''Toucher:''' And he is a grown man who is standing in a [[Chris's room|room full of toys]], and he is saying things, uh, this is him describing, do you have the description of what he likes, the spanking, he's kind of describing--

'''Rich:''' Oh no, I don't have that. Do, do some of it.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, basically he's describing how he likes, uh, there's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|pictures of him]] that have been leaked on the internet wearing [[Butt garments|adult diapers]], uh, he likes being spanked, and that's because [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009|that's what adults do]]. Adults like feeling pleasure, uh, out of pain.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, he is a disturbing young man. And I've been sent since then a bunch of links about this guy. And you know what, I don't remember his name and I don't care to; you'll be able to find him, don't worry about it. [''Laughs''] But, uh, he's got a million videos up on the internet, and he also apparently has a comic book that he draws and puts up on the internet--

'''Rich:''' Oh boy.

'''Toucher:''' --which is, I don't even want to get into, but which I, which I, from what I, if what I read is true, it's [[Sonichu 10|horribly disturbing]]. So anyway, he's kind of this manchild, he, uh, wears glasses, he looks a little bit like, for lack of a better description, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, almost? Like if he was playing a deranged guy. [''Laughs'']

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs.''] Right.

'''Toucher:''' Alright. So anyway, so from what I've read, there's a whole big, like, there's something that's, uh, that's like Wipi-Wikipedia, but it's like "[[ED|Crapipedia]]" or something? [''Rich laughs.''] There's this big page about this guy, and I don't know if it's true or not, but they reference that [[JERKS|he hates all men]] because they, uh, have all the girls, all the girls he meets have girlfriends[sic], but there was one girl that he was friends with, that he fell madly in love with, and I guess that this is a, uh, an ode to her.

'''Rich:''' It is. Now, in this video, unlike in the other one where he's just sitting down wearing his, like, flannel shirt, like, looking at the camera, he is standing up, he's extremely excited, you can tell because he's kind of bobbling from side to side, and he's wearing his normal outfit except on top of it a blazer. 'Cause he wants to look proper.

'''Toucher:''' And he is nonchalantly holding his, uh, remote control. He always has a video game remote control on him. And once again, in his bedroom, with the toys and drawings and the cartoons.

'''Rich:''' And here you go.

'''Toucher:''' He's obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog, too, from what I've read. And if I failed to mention it yet, he's probably close to forty. [''Plays clip from "[[For My Sweetest Ivy]]"'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hey Ivy! I'm doing this video for yoooou. Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together! Hmmm!</font>

'''Toucher:''' Yeah right, dude! [''Rich laughs.''] Dude, dude, dude, enjoy, put the Nightmare Machine on, ladies and gentlemen. [''Plays a clip from "Goodbye Horses," alluding to the Buffalo Bill dance scene in'' The Silence of the Lambs.] I hope that you're not half-asleep with the snooze button listening to this guy, 'cause, welcome the David Lynch movie of your nightmares!

'''Rich:''' If I saw this in a David Lynch movie, I would say, like, "Alright, David Lynch is trying way too hard. Now he's like, making up stuff, that, this is too weird." [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You know, my mommy and I--my, my family and I will come and meet you at the airport. And you know, your choice so--take you to your hotel or, uh, bring you back to...my house, hmmm.</font>

'''Toucher:''' Ooh. These little-- [''Replays and imitates Chris's whimper and laughs, then plays the "Goodbye Horses" clip again, adding Chris saying "Back to... my house" and "My mommy and I" with his voice digitally lowered.'']

'''Rich(?):''' "My mommy and me..." [''Plays stinger music'']

'''Toucher:''' Even when adult women say "mommy" it's freaky--

'''Rich:''' [''Laughing''] I know.

'''Toucher:''' --let alone an adult man talking to somebody he, uh, obviously wants a relationship with. Ai-yai-yai. I hope you've had that cup of coffee, ladies and gentlemen, because [''Laughs''] it only gets worse. [''Continues clip.'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I mean, uh, you know, we'd be hanging around so much and sharing so many fondful memories. Hmm. And you know, I few--I know a few good places in Charlottesville, you know, I think it's, you know, I'll take you there, we'll get some good things to eeeeeat, and we’ll hang ooouut. We’ll have so much fun. I know a place that serves some great smoothies. And you know, we can enjoy a movie in the theater, or in--at home, or watch a television rerun. Family Guy! Heh.</font>

'''Toucher:''' "Family Guy!" [''They laugh and play the stinger music again.''] Tony, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Tony:''' Oh my God, two hundred years ago, this guy would have been ostracized out of a village or a town or something like that. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.''] I mean, he ''really'' needs to be around normal humans.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I guess there are videos, I've been told, where [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview|his ''mother'' appears]], like--

'''Rich:''' No!

'''Toucher:''' --comes into the room while he's filming 'em.

'''Rich:''' Oh man.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I mean, there's a, you could spend a good, uh, horrifying evening, [''Rich laughs''] if you wanted to go, like, out to the old haunted house and play these things, you could probably do it for a couple of hours. [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Family Guy! Or, uh, I Love Lucy or I got some—I got the entire series of Gilligan's Island, hmmm. Hoo-hoo! Hmm, and we can make some music together on Guitar Hero. Hmmm. Well, you can sing, I got a microphone. I'm thinking about getting drums. [''Makes a drum sound.''] Hm, yeah. And you know, I will see you in the--I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together.</font>

'''Toucher:''' Aaaauugghhaaaaoooo! [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again''] I'm going to guess it never happened. [''Rich laughs.''] I'm going to guess that the lady saw this video and maybe thought-- [''Replays clip of Chris saying, "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Rich:''' Oough.

'''Toucher:''' Alan, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Alan:''' Hey, guys, hey!

'''Toucher and Rich:''' Hey!

'''Alan:''' Um, make sure you save that videotape; the FBI will want it for evidence.

'''Toucher:''' I have a feeling that, if all this is real, that, uh, there are several organizations that are just keeping an eye on the, uh, the doings of this gentleman.

'''Rich:''' Yeah, the creepiest thing is that he talks like a little kid, like, "my mommy," and then in his first video, he was saying, because that's what adults do sometimes, like he's talking and addressing children.

'''Toucher:''' But I g--, this woman is an adult from what I've read, that he's addressing.

'''Rich:''' Oh, oh, maybe, maybe it is, maybe it is, but the other videos that he's made, it just seems like--

'''Toucher:''' He's very child-like and maybe he was relating to someone on a child-like level.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' That is a, that is an assumption. [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hmmm, I'll do you so many, I'll, I'll do my best to pleasure you and keep you satisfied, my sweetest Ivy, just for you. Just for you! Hmmm! </font>

[''Rich laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Who did you save all this skin for? [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again, adding Chris saying "Just for you!" three times, with the first iteration digitally lowered.''] Why is this dog-cage all set up? [''Repeats digitally-lowered "Just for you!" and adds the "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Toucher:''' I mean, you don't even have to play it slow, you don't have to do anything, this is like a night-- I've never gone through the whole video, it's, it's so disturbing to me. [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I know a number of good positions and massages, hmm. Hmmm. And, you know, I know a number, uh, places we could walk around at, you know. We could walk about the mall!</font>

'''Toucher:''' Ooh!

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' We could walk about the UVA grounds! Good places where there's plenty of green and sunlight. Hmmmm, so, you know, wonderful memories! Wonderful memories! We're gonna have lots of fun. And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always. Being a good boy just for you, Ivy.</font> [''Sound of disgust from one of the hosts''] <font color="#0033FF">I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch! Hmmmm.</font>

'''Toucher:''' Oulbggh!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] Oh yeah!

'''Crash:''' It's making chills!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] I know!

'''Crash:''' The chil-- he's a witch! [''Replays a slowed-down "Being a good boy just for you, Ivy. I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch!" and adds "Just for you!" and a slowed-down "Look at me smile" at the end.'']

'''Toucher:''' [''Laughing''] "Look at me smile!" [''Replays "I know a number of good positions and massages."''] Ohhhh. [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hmmm, look at me smile, hmm. It's a nice smile. Because I love you, Ivy! I love you so much. I ran out of details. I don't know. I guess I'll sing you a song.</font>

'''Toucher:''' No!

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's a jolly ‘oliday<br />With Ivy<br />Ivy makes my heart so light<br />When the skies are grey<br />And ordinary<br />Ivy makes the sun shine bright.<br />It's a jolly holiday with Ivy<br />No wonder that it's Ivy that I love.<br />I love you so much Ivy. I love you! I love youuu. [''Blows a kiss to the camera.''] Talk to you later, sweetheart. And also to your father the policeman, I salute him with my Cub Scout salute.</font>

'''Toucher:''' Ohhhhhhh ohh. [''Rich laughs.''] [''Plays circus music to "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together," "Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together!" and "Just for you!"'']

'''Toucher:''' I'm just hoping that they wouldn't let this guy on an airplane. Laura, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Laura:''' Thanks a lot for making me have a new really colorful character for my nightmares. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.'']

'''Toucher:''' E-especially for a woman.

'''Laura:''' I'm just gonna sleep with the light on for the rest of my life, now.

'''Toucher:''' Yes, indeed!

'''Laura:''' Oh my God!

'''Toucher:''' We should make a, we should make tapes of these specifically for certain people, just replace "Ivy" with "Laura"-- [''Replays "We can make some music together on Guitar Hero" and "And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always." while everyone laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Well, Rich is obviously from a conservative Catholic family and, uh, something happened over the weekend that maybe made them think he was a little bit of a psycho.

[''Segment ends.'']

==Chris's Response==
Troll goddess [[Vivian Gee]] saw fit to inform Chris about his radio presence via E-mail. Needless to say, Chris was less than receptive.
{{Email|<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5a7HN0pa0w&feature=related</nowiki>

This was part of a radio show from a few months ago. It resurfaced recently and I had a listen.

If you wonder why this applies to you: skip to 7:00.

A woman comments about how YOU will be part of her nightmares now.

This is what normal people, not trolls, think of you. If you really think it's just trolls who have formed a bad opinion of you, think again. Just letting you know.}}
{{EmailReply|
Well, I never asked for a reputation.‏

This WHOLE WORLD is becoming autistic by gluing ALL of their attention
to computers, internet and all that. I am a REAL LIFE MAN, and while I
do not appreciate or care much of the "reputation" that has been made
against me on the crappy internet, the TRUE Reputation I would call my
own is in REAL LIFE and from ACTUALLY HANGING OUT WITH ME IN PERSON.

Feel Free to Spread this Quote from me, "If you REALLY want to make a
Reputation Of Me, then Hang Out With Me In Real Life. Quit hiding
behind your F***ing Computers and "Anonymous" Bu**S***."

Nobody is Perfect. But I AM a Good Person, and I do not have to be
recorded to prove it.

Peace,
Christian.}}

Needless to say, the quote Chris manufactured for himself wasn't spread.

==See Also==

[[The Kevin and Bean Show Segment]]

==External Links==
*[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145 Listen to the broadcast]

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Toucher and Rich Segment

2010-09-04T09:22:51Z

Bailoroc: Added the video because the main link doesn't work anymore unless you subscribe; Youtube mirrors for the win and all that jazz. Enjoy.

[[For My Sweetest Ivy|One]] of [[Chris]]'s videos was the focus of a segment of '''Toucher and Rich''', a Boston-area radio show, that aired on 12 [[May 2009]]. This is one of the rare discussions of Chris in the mainstream and not by obsessives on the Internet. There are some details that the hosts of the show get wrong, like the apparent confusion of [[Ivy]] with [[Megan]], but this is understandable given that their knowledge of him is mostly second-hand.

Notice that no matter how much the hosts try to warp Chris's voice, the original is still the most disturbing.

==The video==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|LyCRuXjSKs8}}</center>

==Transcript==
'''Toucher:''' Sometimes you don't realize how big something's getting on the internet. We are Toucher and Rich -- Rich Shertenlieb, Crash Clark, Adolfo Gonzalez. My name is Fred Toettcher. Two ways to get involved with the show. Please feel free to instant feedback -- go to WBCN.com and click on "Instant Feedback," or give us a call at 617-931-1041 -- 617-931-1041. Here is the deal: we got sent a e-mail from a guy who said, "Look at, this is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a really long time. What the F is up with this guy?" And he was the guy, do you have "I Got A Fish?"

'''Rich:''' I got it right here, yeah. [''Plays clip from "[[I Got A Fish]]:"'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got a fish!<br />Would ya like to make a wish?<br />I got a fish!<br />Would ya like to make a wish?<br />I got a fiiiiiiiiish!<br />Would ya like to make a wish?<br /></font>

'''Toucher:''' And he is a grown man who is standing in a [[Chris's room|room full of toys]], and he is saying things, uh, this is him describing, do you have the description of what he likes, the spanking, he's kind of describing--

'''Rich:''' Oh no, I don't have that. Do, do some of it.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, basically he's describing how he likes, uh, there's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|pictures of him]] that have been leaked on the internet wearing [[Butt garments|adult diapers]], uh, he likes being spanked, and that's because [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009|that's what adults do]]. Adults like feeling pleasure, uh, out of pain.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, he is a disturbing young man. And I've been sent since then a bunch of links about this guy. And you know what, I don't remember his name and I don't care to; you'll be able to find him, don't worry about it. [''Laughs''] But, uh, he's got a million videos up on the internet, and he also apparently has a comic book that he draws and puts up on the internet--

'''Rich:''' Oh boy.

'''Toucher:''' --which is, I don't even want to get into, but which I, which I, from what I, if what I read is true, it's [[Sonichu 10|horribly disturbing]]. So anyway, he's kind of this manchild, he, uh, wears glasses, he looks a little bit like, for lack of a better description, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, almost? Like if he was playing a deranged guy. [''Laughs'']

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs.''] Right.

'''Toucher:''' Alright. So anyway, so from what I've read, there's a whole big, like, there's something that's, uh, that's like Wipi-Wikipedia, but it's like "[[ED|Crapipedia]]" or something? [''Rich laughs.''] There's this big page about this guy, and I don't know if it's true or not, but they reference that [[JERKS|he hates all men]] because they, uh, have all the girls, all the girls he meets have girlfriends[sic], but there was one girl that he was friends with, that he fell madly in love with, and I guess that this is a, uh, an ode to her.

'''Rich:''' It is. Now, in this video, unlike in the other one where he's just sitting down wearing his, like, flannel shirt, like, looking at the camera, he is standing up, he's extremely excited, you can tell because he's kind of bobbling from side to side, and he's wearing his normal outfit except on top of it a blazer. 'Cause he wants to look proper.

'''Toucher:''' And he is nonchalantly holding his, uh, remote control. He always has a video game remote control on him. And once again, in his bedroom, with the toys and drawings and the cartoons.

'''Rich:''' And here you go.

'''Toucher:''' He's obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog, too, from what I've read. And if I failed to mention it yet, he's probably close to forty. [''Plays clip from "[[For My Sweetest Ivy]]"'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hey Ivy! I'm doing this video for yoooou. Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together! Hmmm!</font>

'''Toucher:''' Yeah right, dude! [''Rich laughs.''] Dude, dude, dude, enjoy, put the Nightmare Machine on, ladies and gentlemen. [''Plays a clip from "Goodbye Horses," alluding to the Buffalo Bill dance scene in'' The Silence of the Lambs.] I hope that you're not half-asleep with the snooze button listening to this guy, 'cause, welcome the David Lynch movie of your nightmares!

'''Rich:''' If I saw this in a David Lynch movie, I would say, like, "Alright, David Lynch is trying way too hard. Now he's like, making up stuff, that, this is too weird." [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You know, my mommy and I--my, my family and I will come and meet you at the airport. And you know, your choice so--take you to your hotel or, uh, bring you back to...my house, hmmm.</font>

'''Toucher:''' Ooh. These little-- [''Replays and imitates Chris's whimper and laughs, then plays the "Goodbye Horses" clip again, adding Chris saying "Back to... my house" and "My mommy and I" with his voice digitally lowered.'']

'''Rich(?):''' "My mommy and me..." [''Plays stinger music'']

'''Toucher:''' Even when adult women say "mommy" it's freaky--

'''Rich:''' [''Laughing''] I know.

'''Toucher:''' --let alone an adult man talking to somebody he, uh, obviously wants a relationship with. Ai-yai-yai. I hope you've had that cup of coffee, ladies and gentlemen, because [''Laughs''] it only gets worse. [''Continues clip.'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I mean, uh, you know, we'd be hanging around so much and sharing so many fondful memories. Hmm. And you know, I few--I know a few good places in Charlottesville, you know, I think it's, you know, I'll take you there, we'll get some good things to eeeeeat, and we’ll hang ooouut. We’ll have so much fun. I know a place that serves some great smoothies. And you know, we can enjoy a movie in the theater, or in--at home, or watch a television rerun. Family Guy! Heh.</font>

'''Toucher:''' "Family Guy!" [''They laugh and play the stinger music again.''] Tony, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Tony:''' Oh my God, two hundred years ago, this guy would have been ostracized out of a village or a town or something like that. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.''] I mean, he ''really'' needs to be around normal humans.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I guess there are videos, I've been told, where [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview|his ''mother'' appears]], like--

'''Rich:''' No!

'''Toucher:''' --comes into the room while he's filming 'em.

'''Rich:''' Oh man.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I mean, there's a, you could spend a good, uh, horrifying evening, [''Rich laughs''] if you wanted to go, like, out to the old haunted house and play these things, you could probably do it for a couple of hours. [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Family Guy! Or, uh, I Love Lucy or I got some—I got the entire series of Gilligan's Island, hmmm. Hoo-hoo! Hmm, and we can make some music together on Guitar Hero. Hmmm. Well, you can sing, I got a microphone. I'm thinking about getting drums. [''Makes a drum sound.''] Hm, yeah. And you know, I will see you in the--I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together.</font>

'''Toucher:''' Aaaauugghhaaaaoooo! [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again''] I'm going to guess it never happened. [''Rich laughs.''] I'm going to guess that the lady saw this video and maybe thought-- [''Replays clip of Chris saying, "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Rich:''' Oough.

'''Toucher:''' Alan, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Alan:''' Hey, guys, hey!

'''Toucher and Rich:''' Hey!

'''Alan:''' Um, make sure you save that videotape; the FBI will want it for evidence.

'''Toucher:''' I have a feeling that, if all this is real, that, uh, there are several organizations that are just keeping an eye on the, uh, the doings of this gentleman.

'''Rich:''' Yeah, the creepiest thing is that he talks like a little kid, like, "my mommy," and then in his first video, he was saying, because that's what adults do sometimes, like he's talking and addressing children.

'''Toucher:''' But I g--, this woman is an adult from what I've read, that he's addressing.

'''Rich:''' Oh, oh, maybe, maybe it is, maybe it is, but the other videos that he's made, it just seems like--

'''Toucher:''' He's very child-like and maybe he was relating to someone on a child-like level.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' That is a, that is an assumption. [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hmmm, I'll do you so many, I'll, I'll do my best to pleasure you and keep you satisfied, my sweetest Ivy, just for you. Just for you! Hmmm! </font>

[''Rich laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Who did you save all this skin for? [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again, adding Chris saying "Just for you!" three times, with the first iteration digitally lowered.''] Why is this dog-cage all set up? [''Repeats digitally-lowered "Just for you!" and adds the "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Toucher:''' I mean, you don't even have to play it slow, you don't have to do anything, this is like a night-- I've never gone through the whole video, it's, it's so disturbing to me. [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I know a number of good positions and massages, hmm. Hmmm. And, you know, I know a number, uh, places we could walk around at, you know. We could walk about the mall!</font>

'''Toucher:''' Ooh!

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' We could walk about the UVA grounds! Good places where there's plenty of green and sunlight. Hmmmm, so, you know, wonderful memories! Wonderful memories! We're gonna have lots of fun. And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always. Being a good boy just for you, Ivy.</font> [''Sound of disgust from one of the hosts''] <font color="#0033FF">I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch! Hmmmm.</font>

'''Toucher:''' Oulbggh!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] Oh yeah!

'''Crash:''' It's making chills!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] I know!

'''Crash:''' The chil-- he's a witch! [''Replays a slowed-down "Being a good boy just for you, Ivy. I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch!" and adds "Just for you!" and a slowed-down "Look at me smile" at the end.'']

'''Toucher:''' [''Laughing''] "Look at me smile!" [''Replays "I know a number of good positions and massages."''] Ohhhh. [''Continues clip'']

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hmmm, look at me smile, hmm. It's a nice smile. Because I love you, Ivy! I love you so much. I ran out of details. I don't know. I guess I'll sing you a song.</font>

'''Toucher:''' No!

:<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's a jolly ‘oliday<br />With Ivy<br />Ivy makes my heart so light<br />When the skies are grey<br />And ordinary<br />Ivy makes the sun shine bright.<br />It's a jolly holiday with Ivy<br />No wonder that it's Ivy that I love.<br />I love you so much Ivy. I love you! I love youuu. [''Blows a kiss to the camera.''] Talk to you later, sweetheart. And also to your father the policeman, I salute him with my Cub Scout salute.</font>

'''Toucher:''' Ohhhhhhh ohh. [''Rich laughs.''] [''Plays circus music to "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together," "Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together!" and "Just for you!"'']

'''Toucher:''' I'm just hoping that they wouldn't let this guy on an airplane. Laura, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Laura:''' Thanks a lot for making me have a new really colorful character for my nightmares. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.'']

'''Toucher:''' E-especially for a woman.

'''Laura:''' I'm just gonna sleep with the light on for the rest of my life, now.

'''Toucher:''' Yes, indeed!

'''Laura:''' Oh my God!

'''Toucher:''' We should make a, we should make tapes of these specifically for certain people, just replace "Ivy" with "Laura"-- [''Replays "We can make some music together on Guitar Hero" and "And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always." while everyone laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Well, Rich is obviously from a conservative Catholic family and, uh, something happened over the weekend that maybe made them think he was a little bit of a psycho.

[''Segment ends.'']

==Chris's Response==
Troll goddess [[Vivian Gee]] saw fit to inform Chris about his radio presence via E-mail. Needless to say, Chris was less than receptive.
{{Email|<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5a7HN0pa0w&feature=related</nowiki>

This was part of a radio show from a few months ago. It resurfaced recently and I had a listen.

If you wonder why this applies to you: skip to 7:00.

A woman comments about how YOU will be part of her nightmares now.

This is what normal people, not trolls, think of you. If you really think it's just trolls who have formed a bad opinion of you, think again. Just letting you know.}}
{{EmailReply|
Well, I never asked for a reputation.‏

This WHOLE WORLD is becoming autistic by gluing ALL of their attention
to computers, internet and all that. I am a REAL LIFE MAN, and while I
do not appreciate or care much of the "reputation" that has been made
against me on the crappy internet, the TRUE Reputation I would call my
own is in REAL LIFE and from ACTUALLY HANGING OUT WITH ME IN PERSON.

Feel Free to Spread this Quote from me, "If you REALLY want to make a
Reputation Of Me, then Hang Out With Me In Real Life. Quit hiding
behind your F***ing Computers and "Anonymous" Bu**S***."

Nobody is Perfect. But I AM a Good Person, and I do not have to be
recorded to prove it.

Peace,
Christian.}}

Needless to say, the quote Chris manufactured for himself wasn't spread.

==See Also==

[[The Kevin and Bean Show Segment]]

==External Links==
*[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145 Listen to the broadcast]

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

I am STRAIGHT

2010-08-21T07:58:23Z

Bailoroc: /* Transcript */ Link added

"'''I am STRAIGHT'''" (officially "'''IamSTRAIGHT'''" for both the first and second parts) is a series of videos in which, frustrated with accusations that he is [[homos|gay]], [[Chris]] attempts to set the record straight once and for all. His first video is literally two sentences long, warning everyone to remember his straightness. He holds up a relatively tame picture of [[Britney Spears]], apparently thinking that owning magazines with sexy photos of women in them is proof of his heterosexuality.

Chris immediately follows this up with a 10-minute dissertation on how he deeply loves, respects, and understands women, insisting also that he wants to have sex with them. He seems to assume that heterosexuality demands more than a superficial physical attraction to women to be credible. In his attempt to laud the qualities of women, Chris ascribes to them numerous qualities, including having superior power, agility, and coping skills than men. Also, boobies and vaginas.

There's a passive-aggressive tone to the entire video, almost as if Chris is trying to tell some woman he wronged that he doesn't take her anger personally, because he knows she still cares about the children she'll make with her almighty uterus. Alternately, Chris may be attempting to offer an olive branch to any female trolls who have harassed him, on the slim chance that he might someday tap dat ass.

While the video [[fail]]s to prove that Chris is straight, it does make a strong case for Chris being one creepy S.O.B. He frequently pauses to take a deep breath and caress an imaginary woman in front of him, rolling his head back in erotic passion. At one point, Chris holds up a copy of the August 2004 issue of ''Playboy'', yet he insists that he doesn't need it to demonstrate that he's straight. This begs the question of why he brought it up at all, unless he just likes making videos with nudie mags in them.

==Part 1==

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = I am STRAIGHT Part 1
| image = {{#ev:youtube|DJE11fnvEXY}}
| Stardate = 12 January 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Homosn.png]] [[Homos]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Redyellowstripeshirt.png]] Red/Yellow striped shirt
| previous = [[CWC Update 8 January 2009]]
| next = [[I_am_STRAIGHT#Part_2|I am STRAIGHT Part 2]]
}}</center>

{{quote|I, Christian Chandler, am ''straight.''}}

===Transcript===

I, Christian Chandler, am ''straight.'' [''holds up [[Britney Spears]] poster'']

Don't you forget it.

==Part 2==

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = I am STRAIGHT Part 2
| image = {{#ev:youtube|Tj0TmphLDsQ}}
| Stardate = 12 January 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Homosn.png]] [[Homos]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Redyellowstripeshirt.png]] Red/Yellow striped shirt
| previous = [[I_am_STRAIGHT#Part_1|I am STRAIGHT Part 1]]
| next = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009#Video|Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]]
}}</center>

{{quote|''Boobies!'' ''Vaginas''. Mmm....}}

===Transcript===

[[Chris_and_his_Ego|You know who I am]]. But I have randomly decided to make this video because I am sick of all the false accusations and rumors and slanders that have been going around on the Internet about—against me. [''inhales deeply'']

So, I tell y—so, I tell you for sure and for true that ''I'' am ''straight''. I could te—and I can tell you why from a lifetime of stories, but I'll tell it to you in just a few short minutes.

Anyway… most of my friends in my life… have been ''female''. I've had only few ''male'' acquaintances. And they've definitely turned me off—the majority of them—because they are rude, crude, and inconsiderate… causing wars and such.

''But''… women are ''so'' kind and sweet. And you don't have to look at any… pict—any—any of 'em in bikinis or in the ''nude''… to know—to—to—not s—to fail to see the attrac—to fail to see the ''beauty'' in each and every… wonderful woman. But inside that beauty they all have ''caring'' qualities—the majority of them. Y’know, between them and me and the majority of the world… we all just want to be understood! [''sigh''] And I understand the ladies. I understand the women.

''But''… I do not need… to cons—to con—to fall—[[ShecameforCWC.jpg|stoop down to a level of where the hormones—where my hormones would go out of ''rage'']]… to appreciate… them as being my ''friends''… and my ''gal-pals''… even as—even as well as acquaintances… because I can only have one true sweetheart.

But anyway, gettin' to—over to the ''women''… you cannot—you can definitely see… ''the sheer brilliance''… ''of''… ''their delightful personalities'' between each and every one of them. And yet some of them can… ''turn''… and be very ''distraught''… ''but'' we have to learn to… abide by them… and just… let it pass! Even if it doesn't pass… we still love them because… at one point, even befo—at one point, before they had—they did a 180… in th—in that sense… they were still caring! And they ''can'' be still caring. And just because they act in a harsh nature… even when they should be calm and peaceful… they still care… about… the men in their… lives. And especially the children… that she and her husband… put together… like I will be putting together with ''my''… sweetheart. My sweet [[Panda]]… [''sings softly''] [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|“Never gonna give you uuuppp!”]]

''But''… I c—ensure you that I am ''straight''. I—'cause, y’know, I appreciate the women—''all'' the women—for their personalities purely. But… any ''man'' would be ''crazy''… or… even ''ignorant''… to not even notice the ''outer'' beauty in addition to their ''inner'' beauty. But I appreciate the inner beauty more… than the outer beauty. But yet, I am attracted to the outer beauty, as well… as the majority of m—of my sp—of my gender should be able to appreciate.

[[Image:Playboy.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Chris's Exhibit A. While he wants you to believe he was fondling the picture of Eva Herzigová on the cover, he was in fact lusting after the Captain Morgan ad on the back.]]

[''holds up issue of Playboy''] And ''Playboy'' has been able to… help us in that sense to… better ''relate''… and further our appreciation for the female species. The females, the women. The beautiful ladies. [''grasps the magazine in both hands, as if holding the breasts of the woman on the cover, and inhales deeply''] Mmm....

[''puts magazine down''] But I digress, beholding a ''Playboy'', because I do not need to hold a ''Playboy''… to further prove… that I am… straight. Because… I am educated ''between''… my life—between—throughout my whole lifetime… and the classes I have taken, between sex ed, and high school, and real-life experiences, and my ins and outs in my [[Love quest|sweetheart church—search]] in the past....

The ''long'' past.

Given that I was thwarted by ''one'' female, I would not hold the grudge against her. 'Cause I'm sure that she is sweet to others… especially to… the men that had—are actually closer to her in her life than I have ever was, or ever capable of being. I still… [''clears throat''] will not hold the grudge against her. Yet I will—yet I have… ''drawn''… previous times… moments of [[Virgin with rage|''rage'']]… and anger against. ''But''… expressing the anger… in that s—in the sense of drawing… in the sense of art… but not… to put it into ''gory details'', but… makin' it acceptable for even the—uh… to make it applicable to be TV-Y7… of that rating.

That is not total rage, because that is rage—negative rage, being put into ''positive''. I put most of my rage into ''positive''… outgoing—outcomes, ''positive'' drawings, ''positive'' inspirations… because I ''care''… about the women.

N—and not just the women that I have ''drawn''… and care about personally, but everyone that—every women that I am only acquainted with… or do not know personally, or—or ev—or are even just total strangers to me. I still care about the women!

And I even go as far… as to stoop i—stoop to one low level....

[''There is a pause, as Chris's facial expression changes to a slight half-grin and he suddenly mutters...'']

''Boobies!'' ''[[China|Vaginas]]''.

[''He holds out hands and moves them up and down, as though feeling up an imaginary woman. He then appears to briefly do something else with his hands that you probably [[Masturbation|don't want to know about]]''] Mmm....

Gorgeous.

Very gorgeous.

[''jump cut'']

I'm ''straight''. I love the women… ''outside''… [''repeats hand gesture''] ''and''… ''inside''… and… that should be enough to prove that I am ''straight''… to everyone, even those who dare say otherwise. And those who dare say otherwise? Well… I can only say that… y'all be damned! But I would not hold it against you, because… that is a humble—that is your opinion. And even though it is… ''a whole bunch of lies''… ''and'' it cannot be acce—it cannot be easily determined whether the originator is male ''or female''… I will not hold those opinions against anybody… because… I care… and I care more about the women… ''but''… I will… ''associate'' and cope with in a po—in a—ok—in a okay light… with those of my own gender. ''But''… I will show more… affection and appreciation and care… for the women. For the women… [''voice trails off into breathlessness for a moment''] because they are surely the delightful, the more powerful, the more agile… the more… ''capable'' of coping with stresses in the lives… in and around us all.

Even the stereotypes. They can—they ''will'' express their anger… against it. But that is because they care about themselves… and they want ''us'' to appreciate them individually for who they are! But I digress.

I am straight… because I care about the women… individually. I appreciate their [[women's rights|humble opinions…]] and as well as, uh, their outer beauty… [''repeats hand gesture again''] and their ''inner'' beauty… and to every one of them… [[Megan|I offer a hug.]] You don't have to get it in person… because you get—because you can easily get that from those that are very close to you.

Right. So… C-Christian Weston Chandler. I am ''straight''. [''inhales deeply and repeats hand gesture yet again''] Mmm....

Peace!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 8 January 2009]]|nextlink=[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2009-01-12]]

Sonichu Game Talk

2010-08-19T01:23:53Z

Bailoroc: /* Transcript */ Just added in some links

"'''Sonichu Game Talk'''" (officially "'''Sonichu Game Talk Part 1'''" and "'''Sonichu Game Talk Part 2'''") is a two-fold video made by [[Chris]] in August [[2008]], in which he discusses the upcoming ''[[Sonichu]]'' video game by [[JK Productions]], which he would later discover to be an elaborate prank.

Despite making no contributions to the game, Chris assures his fans that he is working hard on the storyline, which really just boils down to [[Rosechu]] getting kidnapped at the mall, like in ''[[Sonichu 0]]''. And ''[[Sonichu 1]]''. And so forth. Also, you'd be able to play each stage as any of the other Sonichu recolors.

Throughout the video, Chris continues to segue in and out of talking about the comics, explaining how he'll be returning from the [[Time Void]] to defeat [[Count Graduon]], only to step down as mayor and take a less prominent role in the story. Chris also hints that Graduon will encounter [[Metal Sonichu]] later on, which will have serious ramifications down the road. He also announces [[Black Sonichu]]'s name change, and his love affair with [[Bubbles Rosechu]].

Chris also mentions the trust he has for his good friends [[Blanca]] and [[Robert Simmons V]], which is why he featured them in the pages of [[Sonichu 7]]. He then plugs the JK Productions blog, and signs off.

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 1
| image = {{#ev:youtube|OzwgJeWkoRs}}
| Stardate = 28 [[August 2008]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics|text}}; {{Video games|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Reason|text}}
| Shirt = {{SeaGreenPolo|text}}
| previous = [[An_Official_Sonichu_Update#Watch|An Official Sonichu Update]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Game_Talk#Part_2|Sonichu Game Talk, Part 2]]
}}

{{quote|I will be coming out of the, uh, time void.}}

===Transcript===

An update to my loyal [[Trolls|fans]] on the Internet through the [[YouTube]]! [[Chris_and_his_Ego|You know who I am by now]]: the big CWC, the original creator of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]], my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

Alright. Well, first off, I am going to, uh, give y'all some talk as, uh, w—as, uh... ''suggested'' by my, uh, associates, who are in… on the Sonichu game that's—uh, that's, uh, in [[Fail|development]]. I'm, uh, still [[Mass debating|thinkin’]] about the, uh, story very much. It's in m—all—it's—well, I got a big chunk of the stories in my head. It's gonna be, like, multiple stories, like, you know... we’ll go through multiple characters—uh, all the original Sonichu and Rosechu hedgehogs. That's, uh, one idea. Yeah. So, uh...

Yeah. Well, anyway, I'm just gonna—anyway, I'm just gonna mention, uh, a few, uh, random, uh, things that I'm thinkin' about between the comic… and the game and... [[Comeuppance|whatever else that may come out of it]].

Mmm. As for, uh, plans—as for future plans of the game once it, uh, gets, uh… once it gets fully developed and released onto the, uh, systems, excluding the, uh, [[Hex Bawx|H—Hex Bawx]]... [''stops speaking, looking suddenly confused'']

Yeah. Anyway, um... [''starts tapping PS3 controller against hand'']

Once we get this—uh, once we get the, uh, game o—game project off the ground (hopefully with the assistance of [[Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]] and Sega of America [''inhales sharply''])... we will de—w—there will definitely be the, uh, release of the [[Jimmy Hill|official Sonichu merchandise]], including officially-released and… distributed—manufactured [[Medallion|medallions]], for, uh, one thing. Copies of my, uh, ''C''—my ''[[DVD|CWC on TV DVD]]''... that you've seen only a few bits of on the, uh, YouTube... and such, and, uh, the ac—as well as, uh, possible—uh, S—possible Sonichu action figures.

Mmm… let me point out one thing just, uh, so we're clear: the name of the comic is "''Sonichu''". "'''''Sonichu'''''". It's about—it ''should'' be mostly about the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon—[[Lie|''not me'']]; I'm just the intrusive director, and I picked up that plotline from the anime series ''[[Excel Saga]]'', with Shinichi Watanabe [[Parody|doin’ pretty much the same thing that I did]].

But, you know, I'll give y'all a sneak peek: at the [[Sonichu 9|end of the, uh, season]], I will be [[Homo|coming out of the, uh, Time Void]]. But, also, I will be, uh, relinquish—I will be relinquishing my, uh, role as mayor, but I will still be the main founder of [[CWCville]]. I will be giving the keys of... [''stutters unintelligibly'']. ''Storywise'', I'll be giving the keys to the city and the—and the whole mayorship to my... imag—to my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|twin sister]]. But do note that I will still definitely be the original creator of Sonichu, no matter what, even though I'm just—even though I'm basically takin’ m’out—myself out of the story, 'cause I felt like... I've been hogging the spotlight for too long, so... at the end of the season, I will... humbly withdraw myself. But I will still be making, like, you know, ''cameo''... appearances now and then (as I see fit) in the comic. [''inhales sharply'']

As for the, uh, story of the, uh, game... I got a few ideas on my mind—uh, alright. So, here's the idea. Alright. At the end of seas—at the end of the comics’ season one, I will reveal that—I will reveal that, uh... I take uh, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s, uh... ''wand''... that's, uh, also known as th—also, you know, is—has the spirit of the evil [[Count Graduon]]. He's gonna be the big, leading villain... in the second season. I'll be tossin’ the wand... tossin’ it up to the moon, and, you can take a stab at, uh, [[Metal Sonichu|who he will manifest into]]... that has been stranded on the moon since, uh… [[Sonichu 1|Number 1]]. Comic... ''Number''... One. Emphasis on the "''number''"... because... you don't wanna get messed up with Z—[[Sonichu 0|''Number'' Zero]].

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 2
| image = {{#ev:youtube|nR6KrdM6pwk}}
| Stardate = 28 [[August 2008]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics|text}}; {{Video games|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Reason|text}}
| Shirt = {{SeaGreenPolo|text}}
| previous = [[Sonichu_Game_Talk#Part_1|Sonichu Game Talk, Part 1]]
| next = [[Christian's_Update_11_September_2008#Watch|Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]
}}

{{quote|Sonichu.net! 'Nothin' but net.'}}

===Transcript===

So… that's something for y'all to—read the comic and get yourself familiar with.

Mmm… let’s see what else we got here… um… oh, yeah. It's, uh, the main point—the, uh, ''villain''. Now, uh… as far as some ideas I have upon the, uh, multiple stories, uh, I'll give ya, like, uh, beginnings of what I have in mind, in a nutshell.

First’ll be—first at—you’ll be able to unlock by—you'll be able to play by default in the video game—the Sonichu game... will be... Sonichu. The original—the original Sonichu. [''inhales deeply''] Basically, with the opening’d be him being—running about like, you know, like Sonic the Hedgehog would? And, then, he finds out that, uh... Rosechu's been kidnapped. So, uh, he's— so the— basically, his story will be to, uh... go out and rescue her.

And then, uh, event—and then, event—and then, as ''his'' story progresses, he'll get to meet all the other hed—all the other hedgehogs, as well. But, then, uh, we move on over to, uh, Rosechu's story, where, like, you know...

First, we, uh, see her makin' her trek down to the, uh, shop—down to the [[CWCville Mall|shopping mall]], and she—and then, uh, we—uh... As she g—we follow her as she, uh, picks up the—uh, multiple number of items she, uh, wants and needs, like, uh, [''switches to a disturbing falsetto''] “Ooh! Look at that [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]]! [[Women's Rights|That ring's so pretty]]!” [''switches back to normal voice''] Yeah. And, then, eventually, she ''will'' get kidnapped, and that will be where it will tie into the beginning of ''Sonichu's'' story.

And then, we go to—and, then, uh, we go into [[Wild Sonichu]]'s story. Uh... not fully developed as to, like, uh, what his goal is yet, but, you know... it will definitely, uh, be like, you know... he'll be able to sss—vine swing through every level. At least, uh, he'll be able to vine swing as much as reasonably plau—possible.

And, then, we go onto [[Bubbles]]. [''switches to a kinda-cutesy voice''] Everybody love Bubbles. [''fully switches to cutesy voice''] Bubbles is the ''bub-bl-y'' one! [''switches back to normal voice''] Anyway, yeah. Some—uh, [[china|she'll get more wet]]. I mean, uh, a—all the hedgehogs will go through… all the same levels, 'cept a variation. Bubbles will be mostly being a—will mostly be able to swim. Some—so, somewhat underwater versions of those levels. And [[Angelica]], you know, well, she'll s— she’ll be flying high... casting off Wing Attacks against, uh, the enemies in ''her'' story.

[[Punchy]]'s, uh… he's just gonna be punchin’ down the bad guys… but, ''unlike'' Knuckles, ''not''—no—no treasure hunting. He's not a treasure hunter... He's, uh, basically just a master of the ol’… ''ninjitsu''… [''raises hands in a mock ninjutsu stance''] and something, but he mostly [''switches to a deep voice''] ''punches!'' Punch, punch, punch! [''mimes throwing punches, then returns to normal voice''] Yeah. And, then, [[Magi-Chan]], you know, he'll be ab—he'll—he’ll be similar to, like, what Silver could do, since, you know, he ''is'' the psychic one. [''slowly waves one hand, pretending to use telekinesis'']

And yes, [[Black Sonichu]] will, uh… yeah, definitely give him his story in the—his own storyline, like, you know… you know, basically, starts off as ba—starts off bad, like he did, but, then, uh, he gets [[Semen|betrayed]] by, uh, [[Naitsirhc]], who turns into Reldnahc. Yeah. S—so, anyway, uh… yeah, they basically lea—so, they basically leaves him… behind, and, uh… tries—goes about, uh, lookin’ up his own, uh, meaning of, uh, life, and whatnot… like, uh, similarly—how Shadow would. But, also, reveal definitely… ''Black'' Sonichu. Also, you know, for short—for Black Sonichu was “Blachu”? I'm changin' it! For his nickname, as it will be revealed—revealed in the upcoming [''switches to an increasingly gay voice''] [[Sonichu 8|"Spring Break issue"]]! [''drops gay voice and puts on a vaguely Mexican accent''] Everybody have fun on Spring Break! [''returns to normal voice''] He will prefer to be called ''“Blake”''. Simply “Blake”.

Yeah. So, anyway, yeah, Blake's fartin' around with Bubbles… [''switches to kinda-cutesy voice again''] but Bubbles likes to try to think that she can keep it—keep it to herself, like, you know, she wants to l—she wants—she has a, like, uh, you know… [''fully switches to cutesy voice again''] ooh, she turned on by the [''abruptly switches to a bad Palpatine impression''] ''Dark Side''... of the Force… [''returns to normal voice''] and all the ''naught-i-ness'' that Black—that Blake will want to bring with him! But it's obvious to Ro—it's obvious to original Rosechu. So, she talks to—so, she…—what's the word I'm looking for? What's the wor—you know, uh... oh, yeah. She gossips with Ang—she gossips with Angelica about it.

Anyway, uh, among all the, uh, stories between my Electric Hedgehogs and, uh, myself, I'll be leaving s—the, uh, s—at the end of the s—first season. Mmm… I'll have a feeling that, you know, I'll be able to, uh, work better, once in real life I actually do find my woman to become my ''[[sweetheart]]''… but… you know, it's so—it's nice to know that I actually do have a… good [[gal-pal]] that I made over the Internet recently, whose, uh, inspired character—she was inspired by me. Her inspired character I've given my full approval f—of and introduced in the comic I just uploaded to what is now—can also be considered to be… [[Sonichu.net]]! ''“Nothin' but net.”'' Screw your ''com''! I got da net! Yeah.

Her name is, uh, y—sh—her online name is, uh, [[Blanca|KawaiiKitsune]]… and she is the—and she, herself, is the original character of—the new bubblegum pop star: [''holds up drawing of [[Jiggliami]] while speaking in the cutesy voice yet again''] ''Jiggliami''! Jiggliamiii… [''returns to normal voice''] Yeah. So, like, you know, uh... it's possible she may, uh, act—she and I might actually meet in the future, but, uh.... Yeah, 'cause, you know… I—reason why I put—I allowed, uh, like, you know, interviews with, uh, KawaiiKitsune and, uh, [[Robert Simmons V]]? 'Cause those two—they both, res—they both—"each" have earned my trust… in their own way, between, uh, Robert's YouTube videos and, uh... just—uh, and then, a whole bunch of, uh, honest chats between, uh, Kawaii... Yeah. So, basically... they both earned my trust, so I give 'em... ''radio interview'' on the—in the comic between [[Jamsta]] and [[Lolisa|Lo-isa]]! [''"sings"''] ''Lolisaaa!'' [''pauses and returns to normal voice''] Yeah.

Okay. So, uh, anyway, point is... Sonichu game: I just gave you the, uh, details on that… gave you a little sneak peek at the, uh... Spring Break issue… and, uh... and the Season One. But, uh, basically, the, uh, Sonichu game will definitely have, uh, you know, stories between… Sonichu and Rosechu and all—and the other hedgehogs. The—they're like if y—or like, uh, they'll, uh, start it—they'll start off with the stories that originally originate in Season One. They'll mostly be, uh, the newer stories that'll be s—revealed in Season Two.

Alright. So, anyway, that's the, uh… update. Be sure you go to, uh, sonichugame.blogspot.com… to, uh, talk to my associates over at… JK… [''stifles a burp and exhales loudly''] Productions. Or, uh, con—or, uh, talk about how you're lookin' forward to the game because… yep… just like sonichu.''net'', I'm excited—I'm excited about the game, as well. I don't have any ''future'' plans as of this point, but, uh… you know, I think my—I'll feel better when my future's set, when I have my, uh, sweetheart.

So... thank you very much, everyone of you, for your, uh, patronage. And I hope y'all have a pleasant day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[An Official Sonichu Update]]|nextlink=[[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]|}}

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Parody

2010-08-18T06:58:49Z

Bailoroc: /* Why Sonichu is not a parody */ Just added in what is probably a very appropriate link

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to ''[[Sonichu 8]]''<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the [[USA]]; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==

[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. If you put one of those doggy Halloween costumes of Yoda on a dog, he looks funny. That doesn't mean the dog is doing a parody of ''Star Wars''.

A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

In the United States, legally valid parodies are expected to demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> in order for the derivative work to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work."<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref> The degree to which this must be shown differs from case to case but since ''Sonichu'' is lacking as a humorous or critical piece as detailed above, there would likely be a heavier onus on its creator to demonstrate this tenet. Chris would be very hard pressed to do so; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves go beyond following the typical cartoonish, good vs. evil mold of the original materials and employ storylines that full-on mirror their plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Adventure of Link''). In fact, the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation]], Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. By his logic, "Weird Al" Yankovic should be going around proclaiming himself the ONE TRUE CREATOR of "Eat It", as though the song holds the same station in pop music history as the original "Beat It".

The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. This message is ham-fisted, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities," it's quite possible that he literally [[Chris_and_reality|believes ED ''is'' a business]].

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Most recently, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==Chris does not understand the concept of parody==

Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

More recently, as revealed in the [[Adult Swim posts]], he makes the same error. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==

While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his abomination by claiming "parody," he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "troll works": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Funnily enough, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==

*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[Sonichu finale]], an actual parody of ''Sonichu''

==Sauces==

<references />

==Links to actual parodies==

*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]
*[http://www.sonichuttahcs.deviantart.com/ 'Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series' on DeviantART]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Sonichu (comic)

2010-07-17T20:39:30Z

Bailoroc: /* How-to and overview */

[[Image:SonichuLogo.png|center|Man's ultimate Rorschach test]]
{{quote|My art speaks for me|Christian [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|introducing his oeuvre]]}}

'''''Sonichu''''' was [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s official poorly [[Art|drawn]] and [[Chris and writing|written]] comic book adventures of him and his (imaginary) friends.
==Introduction==
[[Image:SonicVsSonichu.jpg|right|thumb|180px|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(comics) THE WORLD'S MOST WAY PAST COOL COMIC!]]]
The inadvertent shattering of his heart from [[Sarah Hammer]], along with the expulsion from English class ''and'' the confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] provided the impetus for Christian to kick start the comic series in full [[Fail|force]]. It initially served as a complement to his [[Love Quest]] as a feeble attempt to link an accomplishment, or boast his own self-worth to unsuspecting prey... after all, Sonichu ''is'' "Zappin' to the Extreme"! He is Christian Weston Chandler's ''only'' son, and the first ''way past cooler'' Electric Hedgehog Pokémon!

If you haven't closed this page yet:
* It's because despite reading, and re-reading the words... it still doesn't make it any sense
* You're in a state of shock (ANOTHER VICTIM OF SONICHU'S LIGHTNING, JERKOP!)
* You are an aspiring autistic artist looking for some inspiration
* You're laughing so hard you can't wait for what comes next!

The comics series has been hosted on the various incarnations of Christian's [[Sonichu site|homepage]] (currently hosted nowhere), and was originally promoted from his now defunct Sonichu business cards. Each new addition to the series would proudly sport the now-infamous ''to be continued'' disclaimer page. In fact, the comics are not updated with any regular frequency: In five years Chris has yet to complete ''twelve'' issues. This, of course, from a man who is [[Wikipedia:NEET|not in employment, education or training]]. With a page-rate such as this you know you can count on the [[fail|quality]]!

==Reader's guide to ''Sonichu''==

===How-to and overview===
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|180px|The ever infamous JARGON page]]
[[Image:ComicTBCont.jpg|right|thumb|180px|TO BE CONTINUED (c) 2001-????]]

The Sonichu series began with #0 instead of #1, and each issue contained multiple separately-numbered "episodes," so [[trolls|readers]] often lost track of which story happened in which issue. For example, [[Black Sonichu]] was introduced in Episode 4, which was the fifth story in the overall series and the first story in Sonichu #1, which was in turn the second comic. Further confounding matters were the [[Sub-Episodes]] about Christian's [[Love Quest]], which appeared sporadically throughout issues #0-4 and were numbered separately from the main stories. The original filenames were also ''misnumbered'' as #0 is referenced as #1, and this continued through the following issues.

Issues #0-1 featured [[Sonichu]] as the unchallenged star of the series, with Christian as a supporting character also appearing in the backup strips. By issue #2, the comic had seamlessly transitioned to Christian encountering people from his real life in shitty anime battles. Token attempts to tell Sonichu stories and introduce Sonichu spin-off characters were made in #3, but all pretense was dropped in #4-7 as the series becomes a vehicle for Christian, as the leader of a heroic band of muppets, to battle against an old woman and a group of ineffectual security guards, and later on, against people who didn't like the comic.

The comic series was presented as if it were a cartoon or [[anime]] (which might explain why the comics mimic visual effects that work in an audiovisual context but [[fail]] on paper), and was encapsulated into ''seasons'' with various episodes (or ''series'', for some of our Eurofag friends). Issue 10 was intended to wrap up the ''first season'' of Sonichu, however, it appears that Christian will fall slightly short of the standard 26 episode 'full season' run. This opened a can of worms as to the current vision of the comics: Was ''Sonichu'' intended to be the hit action/adventure soap-opera TV show that is broadcast in [[CWCville]], or was it the ''historical'' documentation of Christian's and Sonichu's life and times? Perhaps it was destined to be the Gospel from the Stay-at-Home Autistic Virgin Male, ''[[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood.3F|hallowed be His name]]''. Either way it remained unanswered whether Christian continues on with the series because he has a vain, misguided belief that some TRUE and HONEST soul would consider these as 'storyboards' for proper licensing and production.

===Art imitating life===
Sensing some criticism for the self-centeredness of his work, Christian wrote himself out of the series toward the end of Sonichu #7, trapping the Christian character in the [[Time Void]] so that the storyline could focus on other characters. Despite this, Sonichu still served as a strong Mary Sue character, as seen in Sonichu fighting [[4-cent_garbage.com]] in Sonichu #8. This self-imposed exile lasted about five minutes, as Christian managed to make a cameo on page 18 of Sonichu #8.

He returned from the Time Void at the end of issue #9, giving all non-Christian characters approximately 1 issue to have the spotlight to themselves, during which they mostly talked about how much they loved Christian and hoped he would return safely. On the final page of the issue, Chris claimed that he would write himself out of the series permanently, giving his characters the opportunity to shine on their own. He went back on this promise almost the moment he made it — issue #10 is one of the most Christian-centric of the entire series.

Following the theft of his [[Medallions of Fail]] by [[Blanca]], Christian immediately released a new comic adapting the theft into his fictional canon and explaining that the TRUE source of his power lay in his [[High School Ring of Fail]]. Since this story was necessarily set after Christian escapes the time void, it was deemed a special preview of Sonichu #10, despite the fact that Chris had at that point not finished Sonichu #8 or even begun Sonichu #9.

The entire Sonichu series has been faithfully adapted into [[audiobooks]] on YouTube.

==List of issues==

{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Cover
! style="background:silver;" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Episode
! style="background:silver;" width=20% | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot summary
|-
| rowspan="5"|[[Image:issuezero.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="5"|''[[Sonichu 0]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 1
| "Sonichu's Orgin"
| The amazing origin story of Sonichu, the electric hedgehog Pokémon! ''First appearance of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Sonichu]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Kel]], [[Rosechu]]. Only appearance of [[Perfect Chaos]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 2
| "Genesis of the Lovehogs"
| The origin story of how Sonichu and Rosechu became a true loving couple!
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 3
| "Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc"
| The first meeting between Sonichu and Naitsirhc! ''First appearance of [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].
|-
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"Classic Sonichu Strips"
| Random stupid stories with Sonichu. ''First appearance of [[Black Sonichu]] (Blake), [[Jerkops]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Only appearance of [[Metonic]], [[Vamprosa]] and [[Barbara Chandler]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 1
| Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"
| The first Sub-Episode! This details Christian's first encounter with the Jerkops!
|-
| rowspan="4"|[[File:issueone.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="4"|''[[Sonichu 1]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 4
| "Black Sonichu in "Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!""
| The origin of Blake! ''First appearance of [[Doctor Robotnik]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Bill the Scientist]].'''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 5
| "Sonichu in "Informal Meeting""
| Blake kidnaps Rosechu, Sonic and Sonichu run into each other, then team up.
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 6
| "Sonic & Sonichu "Black Metal Combat""
| Sonic and Sonichu fight Robotnik's latest creation. ''Only appearance of [[Metal Sonichu]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 2
| Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"
| The comic version of Chris's encounter with Hanna. ''Only appearance of [[Hanna]].''
|-
| rowspan="4"|[[File:SchuComic3Cover.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="4"|''[[Sonichu 2]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 7
| Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"
| Chris takes over the story as his Sonichu medallion unleashes the power of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. ''First appearance of [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Wes Iseli]], [[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]]. Only appearance of the Keeper of the Destiny Cave.''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 8
| Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"
| The three empowered hedgehogs meet and fight. ''First appearance of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Saramah Rosechu]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 9
| Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in "The Evil that Stomped CWCville"
| Saramah breaks up with Wes-Li as Slaweel the Witch makes her first big attack on CWCville! ''First appearance of [[Count Graduon]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 3
| Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"
| Chris and Sonichu confront Slaweel!
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Issue3.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="3"|''[[Sonichu 3]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 10
| "Sonichu Babies"
| The origins of the Chaotic Combo! ''First appearance of [[Wild Sonichu]], [[Bubbles Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Angelica Rosechu]], [[Punchy Sonichu]], [[Sonee and Rosey]]. Only appearance of Nabe, [[Mypoe]] and the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 11
| The Chaotic Combo in "When Hedgehogs Meet"
| Blake steals the Master Sunstone and the Chaotic Combo unite! ''Only appearance of [[Flame the Sunbird]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 4
| Christian Chandler in "McAttack"
| Chris is attacked in the M-C-D-ville by two Manajerks! ''First appearance of [[B-Manajerk]], [[Merried Seinor Comic]], [[W-M Manajerk]], [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. Only appearance of Super Chris-Chan Sonichu.''
|-
| rowspan="8"|[[File:Issue4.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="8"|''[[Sonichu 4]]''
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 1
| Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu 0''.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 2
| Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu 1''.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 3
| Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu 2''.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 4
| Christian Chandler in "McAttack"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu 3''.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 5
| Christian Chandler in "McAttack part 2"
| Crystal appears to save the day as the W-M Manajerk attacks! ''First appearance of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]]. Last appearance of the [[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 6
| "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"
| Chris gives us an inside look at the Jerkops. ''First appearance of [[ScotPalazzo]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 7
| Christian Chandler in "Off-Target"
| Bagget arrives to attack Chris! ''First appearance of [[Bagget]] and [[Crackder]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode 8
|Christian Chandler in "Off-Target part 2"
| Chris is taken captive, but is rescued by Crystal!
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:SchuComic6Cover.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="2"|''[[Sonichu 5]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 12
| Christian Chandler in "My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding"
| Chris attends Sarah Hammer's wedding, which is spoiled by Wes-Li Sonichu. Chris, with the aid of [[Megan Schroeder]], saves the day. ''First appearance of [[Megagi La Skunk]]. Only appearances of [[William Spicer]] and [[Sailor Megtune]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 13
| "Shattered Hearts & Entrapment"
| Slaweel initiates an attack on CWCville, leading to Crystal getting trapped in the mirror! ''First appearance of [[DJ Jamsta]].''
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:Sonichu Issue 6.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="2"|''[[Sonichu 6]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 12.5
| "One Lucky Dog"
| Chris's dog, Patti, is transported to CWCville and becomes a anthropomorphic dog with magic powers! ''First appearance of [[Patti-Chan]] and [[Allison Amber]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 14
| "Evil is Afoot!"
| Chris and the Chaotic Combo begin their quest for the Sonichu Balls as Reldnahc makes his appearance! ''First appearance of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].''
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Sonichu Issue 7.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="3"|''[[Sonichu 7]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 15
| Sonichu, Magi-Chan and Christian in "Time for a Ball"
| Chris learns the location of one of the Sonichu Balls and goes to get it. ''Only appearance of [[Sammy]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 16
| C.W.C. and Sonichu in "Time Hogs"
| Chris and Sonichu retrieve the Sonichu Ball, only for Chris to be lost in the Time Void
|-
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!"
| DJ Jamsta interviews Blanca and Jiggliami. ''First appearance of [[Jiggliami]]. Only appearance of [[Blanca]].''
|-
|rowspan="2"| [[File:Sonichu8.jpg|150px]]
|rowspan="2"| ''[[Sonichu 8]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 17
| "Rage Against the Garbage"
| After sex, Sonichu and Rosechu learn about 4-Cent_garbage and go to confront Jason Kendrick Howell over his work. They get a Sonichu Ball for their trouble. ''First appearance of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[The Incredible Lioness]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 18
| "Spring Break, 2008"
| Silvana makes her move as Jiggliami warns the others of her plans and they get another Sonichu Ball. ''First appearance of [[Zapina]], [[Simonla Rosechu]] and [[Silvana]]. Last appearance of [[Jiggliami]]. Only appearance of [[Yawning Squirtle]].''
|-
|rowspan="2"| [[File:SchuComic9.jpg|150px]]
|rowspan="2"| ''[[Sonichu 9]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 19
| "Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)"
| THRILL to the wonder that is Chris's Dating Education classes! ''First appearance of [[Reginald Sneasel]], [[Layla]] and Rita Jakaras. Only appearance of Ms. Jakaras.''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 20
| "CWC-Defense"
| The PVCC mount a massive attack on CWCVille! Chris is later pulled out of the Time Void. ''First appearance of [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], [[Power Rangers]]. Only appearance of [[BILLY MAYS]].''
|-
| [[File:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]]
| ''[[Sonichu 10]]''
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode 21
| Christian Chandler in "Director Amenities"
| | [[Ego|Chris rains holy hell on all his enemies!]] ''First appearance of [[Clyde Cash]], [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Lovely Weather]], [[Asperchu]], [[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)]], Metal Asperchu, [[Asperpedia Four]] and [[Sandy Rosechu]]. Deaths of Reldnahc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Asperchu, Clyde Cash, Jack Thaddeus, Chaotic Combo (Asperchu), Metal Asperchu, Asperpedia Four, Slaweel the Witch, homosexuality, asexuality, Simonla.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 11 Cover.jpg|150px]]
| ''[[Sonichu 11]]''
|-
| [[File:Issue 12 Cover.jpg|150px]]
| ''[[Sonichu 12]]''
|}

==Unfinished and unreleased issues==
These comics are not yet completed by Chris, and most of them were briefly seen in videos during the [[Ivy]] saga. Most of the unreleased comics were obtained by trolls and publicly released.

===Unfinished===
* [[Sonichu 11]]
:* Chris began work on a special [[Christmas]] episode in mid-December 2009, but aside from that, only a cover exists. The release date was announced for 17 [[March 2010]]. Since Chris is a lazy fatass, and also due to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] and [[The Wallflower]], the pages were never released. On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop uploaded pages by a troll.
* [[Sonichu 12]]
:* So far only a cover exists.

===Unreleased===
{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Image
! style="background:silver;" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Episode
! style="background:silver;" width=20% | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot summary
|-
| rowspan="1"|[[File:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="1"|''[[Sonichu Special 1]]''
|bgcolor="red" height="10px"|
| Special 1
| Unnamed
| Chris rescues Ivy from the clutches of "Cly." 6 pages are known to exist. ''First appearance of [[Ivy]] and [[Clyde Cash]]].''
|-
| rowspan="1"|[[File:IvyWedding.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="1"|''[[Wedding Comic]]''
|bgcolor="red" height="10px"|
| Special 2
| "Wedding Comic"
| The fail-tastic union of Chris and Ivy. ''Only appearances of Spas the Cat, Canino Houndhowl, Lilith, Rachel, [[Ching Chong]], unnamed priest.''
|-
| rowspan="1"|[[File:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="1"|''[[Giant Penis Comic]]''
|bgcolor="red" height="10px"|
| Special 3
| "Penis Comic"
| The even more fail-tastic honeymoon of Chris and Ivy. ''Last appearances of [[Ivy]] and [[Officer Keino]].''
|-
| rowspan="1"|[[File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="1"|''[[Sonichu Special 4]]''
|bgcolor="red" height="10px"|
| Special 4
| "Gun Comic"
| Chris rescues Kacey from Liquid (though it's unclear why Kacey needs to be rescued if she's in a consensual relationship with Liquid), shoots Liquid in the shins, and then makes out with Kacey. Only special to be fully finished. ''Only appearances of [[Kacey]], Kacey's mom, [[Matthew Devoria]], [[Liquid Chris]].
|}

Chris has claimed that in total he [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|plans to complete 50 to 100 issues in his life time]].

==Sonichu Season 2==

{{see also|Sonichu Season 2}}

On 27 May 2010, Chris announced that he was abandoning the CWCipedia to the trolls. However, in doing so, he abandoned the Sonichu franchise altogether thanks to [[Chris and copyright|his unfamiliarity with the copyright process]]. Due to this, the Sonichu franchise has been split between both [[Vivian Gee]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]]. Currently, a new season has begun thanks to Vivian's work.

==Adaptations and related work==
*[[Sonichu Remake|Sonichu #0 REMAKE]]
*[[Sonichu Finale|Sonichu FINALE]]
*[[Audiobooks|Sonichu the Audiobook Saga(tm)]]
*[[Sonichu: The Animated Series]]
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==External links==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu_Comic_Collection CWCipedia comic archive (Episode 20 updates included)]
*[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu TV Tropes article detailing everything wrong with Sonichu] (Page blown to smithereens and locked for bullshit reasons, get the true and honest version [[Fan:TV Tropes|here]])

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Comic]]

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