On 15 [[January 2010]], the cast of "Digimon Parody Fandub" uploaded the audio of a phone call that they conducted with [[Chris]] to [[YouTube]].

==Part 1==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|jJgbVrFasxk}}</center>

===Transcript===
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Jynx:''' Hel-(cut off by static)
 '''Jack:''' Hi I'm *inaudible*
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry what?
 '''Jynx:''' Good evening.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, good evening.
 '''Jynx:''' We tried to conta-well I tried to contact you earlier, I wanted to ask permission to use something of yours. A character of yours.
 '''Chris:''' I see.
 '''Jynx:''' I, um, I own a comic called Marty-Bob, right? It's pretty popular. It's based off the series Negima, you may have heard of it. Have you?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no. I have not.
 '''Jynx:''' Well, as you know, I am English, and it's rather popular over here, right? And your character, being pretty popular in England as well, um, I wanted to see if I could use him just as a cameo to say hi to Marty-Bob.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Jynx:''' Well I-*cut off by Chris*
 '''Chris:''' Well, I give you, I give you permission to use my c-, use my Sonichu as a as a, in a cameo appearance in there, just make sure you reference me and the CWCipedia.
 '''Jack:''' We'll, we'll do that sir.
 '''Jynx:''' We'll link and everything and give credit to you *Text comes up reading 'Sonichu can come up and give Marty-Bob a handshake and then Marty-Bob can meet'* Sonichu and say he's awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah okay, that's fine.
 '''Jack:''' Also, I was wondering, I have a character I'd like to audition for you, for your Sonichu comic.
 '''Chris:''' I see. Hmm.
 '''Jack:''' His, his name is Poliochu, he has Polio, he's like the uh, clone of FDR and he has Polio, so he needs a wheelchair.
 '''Chris:''' I see, hmm, well you can send me a drawing of it, to my e-mail address or to the mailbag on the CWCipedia and I'll uh, I'll look at-I'll look the character over.
 '''Jynx:''' Will you look at 'em all of your e-mails?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'll look at the e-mails.
 '''Jynx:''' Okay that's good.
 '''Jack:''' That's good, that's good. Also, um, are you getting those dastardly trolls? I mean, they're just so mean.
 '''Chris:''' Yes they are mean.
 '''Jynx:''' I liked your recent video where you spoke French or s-*static pause*
 '''Chris:''' *cutting in* Spanish.
 '''Jynx:''' You taught me how to say it it was like illis zububolis or something.
 '''Jack:''' What does that mean anyway what you said in Spanish?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah th- the meaning escapes me at the moment, but it's pronounced "uhcrepsa etah y uhcinos evol.
 '''Jack:''' Mhm.
 '''Jynx:''' Chris, can I just say something?
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' I'm your biggest fan; you're so awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.
 '''Jack:''' You do not deserve any of the bad treatment towards you like, Clyde Cash, he's just a jerk and whatever that guy who says he's you but not as good looking.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' So what is Asperchu?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well Asperchu is not mine, it belongs to Alec Benson Leary and I have no connection to him whatsoever, except for him buying out the ad space and putting his ads on th-*cuts out*
 '''Jynx:''' What?
 '''Jack:''' Why would he do that to you?
 '''Chris:''' He's just being, he's just being mean and a jerk.
 '''Jynx:''' I thought that um, you guys were having a meeting. That's what you said in your video.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, no I challenged him to come and meet- challenged him to come to Virginia so we can see who stacks up better here.
 '''Jynx:''' Right.
 '''Jack:''' Did Clyde Cash ever come to your house and try to fight you?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, people have come to my house, and uh, gone so-gone as far as to egg my house.
 '''Jack:''' Egged? Your house has been egged?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' That's not very nice they're *inaudible*
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' It's a waste of eggs.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Eggs are supposed to be eaten.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah th-
 '''Jack:''' *cuts off Chris* They're made with french toast.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' I wanted to ask you a question.
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' Y'know Magi-chan?
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Jynx:''' How come he's got -chan at the end of his name but not -chu?
 '''Chris:''' It's a play off the word magician.
 '''Jynx:''' I see. I didn't know that! That's pretty cool, I've learned something new today!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' But what's that, his species name is Magi-chan?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' So, could I capture my own Magi-chan if it was in a pokémon game?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, not really. If I- if there was a pokémon game with all the Sonichu characters in there, you'd have to, uh, evolve it from a Sonee with a Moon Stone.
 '''Jynx:''' Ah, I see.
 '''Jack:''' Also I was wondering, uh, what is this A.D. Vision thing project you're making-you're going on talking about?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, uh, oh, turns out tha-turns out I was fooled there, apparently A.D. Vison went ou-went out of business in September 2009. I did not realize that until recently.
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, I got, I got to ask you a really important question.
 '''Jack:''' Who is Ginger? We just want to know; we're confused about that.
 '''Chris:''' She's a fan.
 '''Jack:''' She's a fan?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' Like us?
 '''Jack:''' *inaudible*
 '''Chris:''' She talked to me recently.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, where does she live?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, she lives in Florida.
 '''Jack:''' Florida? That's-
 '''Chris:''' *cuts in* Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Pretty f-pretty far a way aways man.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Jack:''' *cuts in* Around.
 '''Chris:''' I wasn't doing anything lately, y'know?
 '''Jynx:''' Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' Could I ask your opinion on something?
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jynx:''' It's something you haven't released information or anything and it's so important I wanna ask you this.
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' Um, do you like Digimon?
 '''Chris:''' Digimon's okay.
 '''Jynx:''' But you think poké-
 '''Jack:''' They're just a pretty ripoff of Pokémon right?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah I would dare say it's sort of a ripoff.
 '''Jynx:''' But, I, I like Digimon and I like Sonichu, because I'm awesome like that; that's how I roll.
 '''Chris:''' Mkay. Alright, that's cool.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you like Kermit the Frog?
 '''Chris:''' 'Kay.
 '''Jynx:''' Would you like to speak to Kermit the Frog?
 '''Chris:''' No. I-
 '''Jack:''' *cuts in* He has like the best voice of doing it though.
 '''Jynx:''' Yeah, I-I'm pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'll listen to your imitation of Kermit the Frog.
 '''Jynx:''' Okay, here it is, ready? *Mimics Kermit the Frog* Hi there, Kermit the Frog here speaking to Chris-Chan, which is pretty cool.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Jynx:''' You like it?
 '''Chris:''' It's okay...uh, *Mimics Kermit the Frog* *Inaudible mumbling in the voice* and sound like Kermit the Frog. Ladies and Gentlemen, *inaudible name* in the audience, yay!
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, wow! That was good at the end! That was excellent!
 '''Jack:''' Can you hear my- can you hear my Bill Cosby voice. Do you know Bill Cosby?
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Jack:''' Alright, here it is. *Mimics Bill Cosby* Hello Chris-Chan, with the bippin' and the boppin' and the hippin'. *Coughs*. God that hurt.
 '''Chris:''' *Mimicking Bill Cosby* Mmm, that's pretty good, but I think *inaudible* and we could talk all day long! And we could do all the jibba jabba blibba blabba.
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, uh, do you know who Cleveland Brown?
 '''Chris:''' Yep. *Mimics Cleveland* Oh yeah, I know Cleveland Brown. Yeah I watch the Cleveland Show. *Attempts Cleveland's laugh*
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, I like his laugh, it's like *mimics laugh*.
 '''Jack:''' When are you going to do a Metal Gear Solid themed episode?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, I didn- I didn't understand the question.
 '''Jack:''' When are you going to do a Metal Gear Solid themed comic ser-type of like, Sonichu?
 '''Chris:''' Well uh, maybe later, but not right now.
 '''Jack:''' Here, I could do, I could do I good Snake voice. Let's get into it. Listen.
 '''Chris:''' Mkay.
 '''Jack:''' *Mimicking Snake* Otacon, this is Snake. Where are we? *cough*
 '''Jynx:''' Is that the one from Super Smash Brothers?
 '''Jack:''' No.
 '''Jynx:''' Is-have you ever played Super Smash Brothers, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you have a friend code for it?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah, but it would be hard for me to get to it right now.
 '''Jynx:''' Ah.
 '''Jack:''' Ah okay.
 '''Jynx:''' I would love to play you because I actually don't have Snake in Brawl yet. I don't know how to unlock him.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, uh, I'm sorry, you don't-uh, you're talking about the Snake character, unlocking him in Super Smash Brothers Brawl?
 '''Jynx:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, you could look, you could look up the answer how to unlock him on GameFAQs, G A M E F A Q S dot com.
 '''Jynx:''' Chris, who do you use?
 '''Jack:''' He uses Sonic of course.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you know that if you hack the game, you could mix Pikachu's move with Sonic, and then you can make, like Sonichu in brawl?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, that's interesting.
 '''Jynx:''' That'd be cool. I used to do that; I used to hack Brawl at one point.
 *End of audio*

==Part 2==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|9FaRH3Ttsk8}}</center>

===Transcript===
{{Template:Transcription}}

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]
Jack: Reggie Fils-Aime, I've always tried to talk with him, I've called Nintendo of America like a billion times asking to talk with him, he's like always busy.
Chris: Yeah, it turned out-it turned out between him and, uh, Sh-and, uh, Sh-
Jack: (cutting in) Shigeru Miyamoto?
Chris: Yeah. It turned out when I talked to them they turned out to be just trolls pretending to be them.
Jynx: Well, was that Clyde Cash again?
Chris: No, uh, another troll. Under Clyde Cash, I'm sure.
Jack: *mumbling* oh, oh. Have you seen "The Book of Eli" yet?
Chris: No, I have not.
Jack: You should go see it. Oh, there-here, my, uh, my little sister would like to talk to you.
Jynx: She's from Australia.
Jack: Yeah.
Girl: Is this really Sonichu? I'm really excited now!
Chris: (cutting in) Hello?
Girl: Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? I've been trying to talk with you for hours and hours now!
Sonichu! Oh my god, I love this show! I love it, I love it, I love it!
Jack: (cutting in) she's just
Chris: (inaudible)
Girl: Shut up, shut up Jack, I'm talking! I'm so...oh, wow.
Jynx: Do you like (inaudible) Gaiden?
Chris: Yeah, I mean, it's a good show.
Jynx: I have, do you know what my favourite Chris Chan video is? The one where you do the life in a day of Sonichu. That was great!
Chris: Yeah. Thank you.
Jynx: Yeah, I've-
Jack: (cutting in) Did you notice that Chris Mc-Chris McFarland-Seth McFarlane has put you in one of the episodes?
Chris. Uh. Sorry, I did not understand that.
Jack: Seth McFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, he put you in that one episode, where they did like, a Stephen King parody? He made Peter look just like you.
Chris: No, uh, (sound cut off) -like that.
Jynx: That's your shirt.
Girl: (speaking over Chris) Oh, I LOVE YOUUU!
Jack: (inaudible) -that you're famous though.
Chris: Hm.
Jack: Are you ever gonna come to Anime Expo?
Chris: I might.
Jynx: Oh, what kind of anime do you like? Do you like, uh, Lucky Star? (inaudible) Naruto, Bleach?
So many to choose from.
Girl: (cutting in) Oh, Anime, do you like Anime? I like Anime!
Jynx: Negime, Marty Bob? There's a whole list.
Chris: Yeah, I like a lot of anime, but I would say that I really like Excel Saga.
Jack: Excel Saga? Yeah, Nabushin's the best.
Jynx: I like (inaudible)
Jack: I don't even know what that is man.

Talk:DPF phonecall

2010-06-30T05:08:54Z

Banzai881:

User:Banzai881

2010-06-27T18:22:44Z

Banzai881:

{{Eurofag}}{{Scampers}}
Banzai881 of the TRUE AND HONEST Sonichu fandase...um, fanbase...

Sonichu 10 made me hate Chris...
Before it, I've never hated Chris, and nothing he's ever done has really rubbed me the wrong way.
I didn't care about his racism, raging homophobia, gargantuan ego, or delusions of honesty while lying out his ass. To me those were all acceptable traits for someone who had a parent as horrible as Snorlax there to fuck him up.

But when he blew up Tripod in Sonichu 10, Tripod that offered free webhosting for his god-motherfucking-awful site, because they lacked security features(which is untrue, as the only reason his shit gets hacked is that he is a gullible idiot) that was the last straw.
Chris now believes that besides people that were mean to him, people that are better adjusted than him, or people that are actually talented, it is also okay to hurt those that try to help him but fail. This is equivalent to him punching someone for giving him a slice of cake that he doesn't like. Way to go Chris.

Of course, the funny thing here is that Chris still expects the reader to root for him after all of those events in the comic. He really wins the crown of the greatest lolcow the internet has ever seen.

Chris and fashion

2010-06-27T06:02:13Z

Banzai881: /* Wardrobe */

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to spend thousands of dollars on video games, action figures, [[My Little Pony]]s and [[Kimmi|sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his cruel, cruel [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] so people will notice the fact that he's [[Autism|"special"]] and [[Kick the Autistic|treat him with sympathy]]. Alternatively, it could be that the Chandlers just aren't exactly what you'd call "fashion savvy".

Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts, possibly out of a strong aversion to change, a common trait of autistic people. Some trolls have proposed that Chris would probably look somewhat-almost normal if he only wore a fucking t-shirt every now and then (sans video game/cartoon characters).

== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and tee shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored tee shirts or shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and television characters on them. The only article of clothing he currently owns that doesn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the Pokémon T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring the Horizontal Horror.]]

Chris's typical outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a striped/weirdly patterned rugby shirt, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) / his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to the Glasses Chain of Fail.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt.
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* Recently, a [[sports bra]] to keep previously mentioned bosoms in check.

The newest addition to his wardrobe is the [[Fridays After Five|I Enjoy Vagina shirt]].

==The "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBA]]" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (Glasses Chain of Fail remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

Unconfirmed reports state that he was seen walking around downtown [[Charlottesville]] blasting Guns 'n' Roses from a pocket radio and trying to pick up women.

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==
[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he made a promise to leave the internet in the spring of 2010, Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the medallion, and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person. The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a [[gay]] trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "[[homos|Mount and do me]]". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped himself later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his [[muscle bra]], which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" on. The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.
{{clear}}

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the Sonichu Medallion and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white, and blue, implying a patriotic view of the colors.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_27th%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_18th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|4]] [[CWC's_"It's_All_Coming_Back_To_Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show_RESPECT_to_me,_"C"CWC|12]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|13]] [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|14]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_24th%2C_2008|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_Columbus_Day%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_6th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_10th%2C_2009|4]] [[12_January_2010|5]] [[14_January_2010|6]] [[What's_the_Name,_Christian_Chandler,_C_H_R_I_S_C_H_A_N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2008|1]] [[Chop_Chop_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|2]] [[Magical Man Potion|3]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_17th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_4th%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|3]] [[Challenge_for_Clyde_II|4]] [[15_October_2009|5]] [[9_December_2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_10th%2C_2009|2]] [[Congrats,_Jack_Black|3]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_August_3rd%2C_2008|1]] [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|2]] [[LOOK_at_the_truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[More_for_the_crabs|2]] [[ECV_00081|3]] [[Bunny_Hop|4]] [[11052009_Kacey,_I_Love_You,_and_I_Need_You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_23rd%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|3]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_August_6th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_8th%2C_2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_13th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_6th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_9th%2C_2009|2]] [[I_am_devoted_to_My_Sweetest_Ivy|3]] [[Matthew_5_27%2C_CWC_Confessions|4]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_17th%2C_2009|5]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_22nd%2C_2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9_October_2009|8]] [[Warning_-_Naughty_Women_;)|9]] [[Old_Time_Rock_and_Roll_on_Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal_Legend|11]] [[3_December_2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris_Destroys_His_Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC_only_accepts_IN-PERSON_FEMALE_Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|8]] [[Hello,_Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_January_21st,_2009|1]] [[CWC_Callout_for_Miss_Emily_and_Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris_Chan's_Public_Announcement|1]] [[A_Sonichu_Day|2]] [[Shout_out_to_Fans_in_Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa_the_Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51_50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle_bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010_-_Autism_Awareness_%26_Men_Should_NEVER_be_Topless|1]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck|Duckie]] Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 28th, 2008|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The Rainbow Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

== Cosplaying Chris ==

[[Image:Chris chan cosplay.jpg|thumb|Christ, you can tell this world is totally fucked up when people start cosplaying AS Chris!!!]]

Chris appeared in his [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally created as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the 2004 [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against 5 kids dressed up as Team Rocket. The prize was a t-shirt.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> For a while, he resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]] and eventually evolved into the Gay Trucker.

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* Pokémon League ballcap
* Fanny-pack (Also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)
The ensemble is usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' tee-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below).

Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his [[obesity|obscene girth]].

<center><gallery>
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|This is the most depressing thing ever seen by man kind.
Image:501-100 0534 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 501-100 0534 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.JPG|A sketch of the costume. It's so brilliant, its voluptuous lines and shading caresses your eyes like a sensual piece of chocolate dipped velvet...
Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|Dat hat is a-pretty-a-goddamn dirty
</gallery></center>

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User:Kynes/Shirts

2010-06-27T05:59:21Z

Banzai881: /* Shirt List */

This is an ongoing list of all shirts Chris has ever worn, in order of first appearance.

Artists, please look for the CAPS LOCKS for things that need to be created or fixed.

Please use programs that support transparent PNGs. (NO MSPAINT). GIMP is a good free option.

Try to add completed files here as well as [[Chris and Fashion]]

A Note About Numbering:
The numbers along the left side are order of first appearance. The numbers in file names are arbitrary.

work in progress

==Templates==
[[File:Shirttemplate2.png]] Thanks to [[user:I Love Little Girls|I Love Little Girls]]

[[File:sonichumedaltemplate.png]]

==Shirt List==

MISCELLANY: Add sonichu medallions where needed.

Add transparent backgrounds.

Add stains, roughen edges and other flair.

1
[[File:Christshirt1.png]]

[[Image:Classicshirt.png]]

2
[[File:Christshirt3.png]]

[[File:Orangeshirt.png]]

3
[[File:Christshirt23.png]]

[[File:YellowRedStripe.png]]

4
[[File:Christshirt7.png]]

[[File:Redshirt.png]]

5
[[File:Christshirt11a.png]]

[[File:Pokeshirt.png]]

6
[[File:Christshirt27.png]]

[[File:SouthAfricaFlagShirt.png]]

7
[[File:Christshirt26.png]]

[[File:SeaGreenPolo.png]]

8
[[file:Christshirt28.png]]

[[File:BlueRedSleeveRugby.png]]

9
[[File:Christshirt13a.png]]

[[File:Jerkopshirt.png]]

10
[[File:Christshirt4.png]]

[[File:Advicedogshirt.png]]

11
[[file:christshirt29.png]]

[[file:greenwhitestripe.png]]

12
[[File:Christshirt30.png]]

[[File:Solidgreen.png]]

13
[[File:Christshirt14.png]]

[[File:Horizontalredshirt.png]]

14
[[File:Christshirt19.png]]

[[File:StraightWhiteLines.png]]

15
[[File:Christshirt31.png]]

[[File:Maroonshirt.png]]

16
[[File:Christshirt6.png]]

[[File:Redyellowstripeshirt.png]]

17
[[File:Christshirt32.png]]

[[File:Maroonshirt.png]]

18
[[File:Christshirt5.png]]

[[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]]

19
[[File:Christshirt22.png]]

[[file:greenpurplevert.png]]

20
[[file:Christshirt33.png]]

[[file:Yellowvertstripe.png]]

21
[[File:Christshirt34.png]]

[[File:Tanvertstripe.png]]

22
[[File:Christshirt12.png]]

The colors on this one(22) have always bugged me. I think it's a little more bluish than green. Leave your opinion on the talk page.

[[File:Greenstripedshirt.png]]

23
[[File:Christshirt10.png]]

[[File:Redblueshirt.png]]

24
[[File:Christshirt46.png]]

CREATE PLAIN ORANGE MINI

25
[[File:Christshirt21.png]]

[[File:Yellowbluevert.png]]

26
[[file:Christshirt25.png]]

[[file:brownsquaremini.png]]

27
[[File:Christshirt8.png]]

[[File:Redstripeshirt.png]]

28
[[file:Christshirt35.png]]

[[file:darkgreenredstripe.png]]

28.5
[[file:Christshirt17.png]]

[[file:Ferrarimini.png]]

29
CREATE TIGHT CLASSIC STRIPE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4fpEiXOf04

[[File:Classicshort.png]]

30
[[file:Christshirt45.png]]
[[Image:Red and Blue ringer.jpg]]

31

MYSTERY SHIRT FROM GAY WAY TAKE 1

32
CREATE PLAIN BLACK TEE

gay way take two

CREATE PLAIN BLACK MINI

33
[[File:Christshirt18.png]]

[[file:brownwhite.png]]

34
CREATE SKY BLUE STRIPE

[[CWC Update 7 July 2009]]

{{BlueThinStriped}}

35
[[File:Parappashirt.png]]

[[File:Parappashirtmini.png]]

36
CREATE AQUA STRIPE SLEEVE POLO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKp6ziMDlns

CREATE AQUA STRIPE SLEEVE POLO MINI

37
CREATE RED GREEN VERT STRIPE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sETnhRK0nc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiFC4zl8Hec

CREATE RED GREEN VERT STRIPE MINI

38
CREATE WIDE STRIPE BLUE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7brwB5cR1Y

CREATE WIDE STRIPE BLUE MINI

39
CREATE ORANGE POKEMON TEE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl-ZelOsrCw

CREATE ORANGE POKEMON TEE MINI

40
[[File:Christshirt40.png]]

CREATE WHITE LOGO TEE MINI

41
[[File:Christshirt41.png]]

[[File:WhiteShirt.png]]

42
CREATE BLUE LOGO TEE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nenWF3gkPog

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmFtocrcDjM

CREATE BLUE LOGO MINI

43
MYSTERY CAT ATTACK SHIRT 
[[File:ChrisShirt43.png]] 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk56JP9pM40

44

[[file:Christshirt20.png]] FIX COLORS

{{CaptainFalconShirt|text}}

work in progress
Ah will add moh' when I ged sum positiv' in-spration, or I feel like it.

45 [[file:Christshirt37.png]]

[[file:MountAndDoMe.png‎]]

The red outline around the logo needs to be erased, and the sleeves could be shortened a bit.

46 [[file:Christshirt38.png]]

[[file:Rainbowboy.png]]

Can't believe no one did this yet. All it needs is a transparent BG and possibly a more evenly sized, accurate stripe pattern as seen in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Watch & Win]] vid.

47 [[file:sportsbra2.png]]

[[file:cwcbra2.png]]

Chris's white muscle bra. If the tit dirt is too strong, feel free to edit it.

2010-06-25T02:43:56Z

Banzai881: Created page with '.'

File talk:FlipnoteSonichu.png

2010-06-25T02:13:41Z

Banzai881: /* Drawing Style */

==Drawing Style==
How can he draw better with a DS stylus than a TRUE and HONEST pencil? --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 02:37, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:I guess it fits his hand better.[[User:L33tSilvie|L33tSilvie]] 02:52, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
I wouldn't really call it better, I mean, GOD DAMN LOOK AT THAT RIGHT HAND![[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 02:53, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:I don't think he's a better artist on the DS, it's just that the DS is so hard to create good art on that Chris's awful art is held to a lower standard.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:12, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

It looks like a disproportionate version of Alec's Sonichu.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 03:29, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Except for that abomination of a right hand, it looks something resembling actual decent art. Or it would if the outline wasn't so scrawly. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 19:12, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

Guys seriously this isn't very good even for Chris's standards, I mean aside from the obvious monstrosity of a right hand which makes Sonichu look like he's been too creative with a blender, the "skin" part of his front is waaaaay off (as in, on his fucking ARMPIT), and his face looks a lot more like the early drafts of Sonichu way back from 2000. Not to mention that Chris seems to have developed Parkinson's disease, or, more likely, was furiously fapping while drawing this image, hence the incontinuity of the lines.
But then again, I have no idea what drawing on a DS is like (I assume it's much like on any other touch screen), so I could be underestimating its impact.[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 02:13, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

File talk:FlipnoteSonichu.png

2010-06-25T02:13:24Z

Banzai881: /* Drawing Style */

==Drawing Style==
How can he draw better with a DS stylus than a TRUE and HONEST pencil? --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 02:37, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:I guess it fits his hand better.[[User:L33tSilvie|L33tSilvie]] 02:52, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
I wouldn't really call it better, I mean, GOD DAMN LOOK AT THAT RIGHT HAND![[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 02:53, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:I don't think he's a better artist on the DS, it's just that the DS is so hard to create good art on that Chris's awful art is held to a lower standard.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:12, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

It looks like a disproportionate version of Alec's Sonichu.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 03:29, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Except for that abomination of a right hand, it looks something resembling actual decent art. Or it would if the outline wasn't so scrawly. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 19:12, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
Guys seriously this isn't very good even for Chris's standards, I mean aside from the obvious monstrosity of a right hand which makes Sonichu look like he's been too creative with a blender, the "skin" part of his front is waaaaay off (as in, on his fucking ARMPIT), and his face looks a lot more like the early drafts of Sonichu way back from 2000. Not to mention that Chris seems to have developed Parkinson's disease, or, more likely, was furiously fapping while drawing this image, hence the incontinuity of the lines.
But then again, I have no idea what drawing on a DS is like (I assume it's much like on any other touch screen), so I could be underestimating its impact.[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 02:13, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

File talk:FlipnoteSonichu.png

2010-06-20T02:53:18Z

Banzai881: /* Drawing Style */

Talk:6 June 2010

2010-06-14T04:08:52Z

Banzai881: /* What will happen if he goes to court? */

Fool that I am, I think I might actually transcribe this... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 03:31, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*I will take the second half of DIS BITCH. This is an urge I cannot control. Also what the fuck Chris is fucking stalking Snyder now goddammit.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:58, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Sorry, I finished it up before I saw your update. I sincerely apologize if you listened to any of this shit unecessarily. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 04:06, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*You did a good job! I did do some transcribing before I realized you had finished it, but honestly I needed the practice anyway.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:03, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

== To do ==

Add Michael Synder's comment from YouTube that sparked this (see Da update for it). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:32, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
* Done. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 04:29, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

== Rename dis bitch ==
If a video does not have a proper name, you name it after the date it went up. This should be "6 June 2010". What is so goddamn hard about this?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:00, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*Whathisname usually figures out how to treat shit, that's why I named it that. That's why. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:02, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Now that I know Champ made the page, I feel bad about my first comment.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:03, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*You are forgiven, my son. Happens to the best of us.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:21, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==I'LL RUN YOU OVER DEAD==

This is the second time that we know of that Chris has tried to commit vehicular homicide. I get the feeling that at this rate, he's going to get himself <s>v@</s> V& by the end of the year. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 07:40, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Chris is going to be vat'd, huh? -[[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 10:00, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Probably. They need to do ''something'' to get the stank out of him. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 10:44, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Still - this is only one version of the events. For all we know he could be exaggerating the entire situation - but I like to think we get the TRUE and HONEST version of events sometimes. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:23, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==Add to relevant article?==
"Right, if I had the right mind, I would send, I would give him a charge of verbal, serve him a charge of verbal harassment!"
This right after he tried to take a picture of some guy to use as a dartboard, drove (presumably) drunk, took pictures without the person's consent, nearly ran two people over, and then thought he could bitch about it on the internet. Is this Chris and Law or Chris and Reality? [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 14:56, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

The key theme here is that it's innocent behavior when Chris does it. I suggest Chris and Hypocrisy or Examples of Chris's Ego.
[[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:01, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
Although this definitely merits mention on Chris and the Law as well, as prime evidence of his mentality that the law is not meant for punishing him in any circumstance. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:04, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*Not to mention Death Threats.--[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 11:25, 7 June 2010 (EST)

==Stalking==

According to Wikipedia, which is always right, "[s]talking can be defined as the willful and repeated following, watching, and / or harassing of another person." Chris has been banned from the The GAMe PLACe. He's gone back repeatedly, each time being told to leave and never come back. He admitted to planning to go willfully back this time in order to watch and photograph Michael Snyder. It's not necessarily a crime, but it does seem to constitute stalking by a reasonable definition. I just think it should be noted that it's not just troll puffery to call it that. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 16:54, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Considering Chris's history of holding grudges against people he considers "enemies", him stalking people "offending" him is not out of the question. --[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 04:06, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Snyder's input==

Any chance we can get a hold of Mike and get his side of the story? He might appreciate it too if we got that and put it up here so everyone and his grandmother doesn't call and ask him. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 17:07, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:I sent him a message on Youtube, if I get a response (unlikely) I'll screencap it and add it to the article. If anyone knows a more direct way to contact him, it would be great to get the whole story from him.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 19:40, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::Perhaps Mimms or Lucas would know a way of getting ahold of him. Of course, you'd need to get ahold of Mimms or Lucas first, but that would seem to be an easier feat considering their past cooperation with certain websites. --[[User:shearod|shearod]] 22:36, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::I'm in the process of asking Mimms if he knows anything about this. I'll post what I find. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 23:13, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Mimms doesn't know, but he said he can ask Michael. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 02:12, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==At the bar with a Bud and a DS==

I was re-reading the transcript of the video when these little things starting nagging me; who goes in a bar with a DS and why it sounds oh-so-familliar coming from Chris? Then, I had an insight; is there a possibility that Chris found in bars a new prowling ground for his "Love-Quest"? He had the same attitude at the local McCrap and Target but without the alcohol.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:11, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Maybe he's taking his parent's approach of meeting da ladies. After all, Barb and Bob met at a bar. -[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 16:25, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::Maybe he'll finally meet his sweetheart at the same age as Bob, when both parties out out of their prime and desperate enough. Of course, it would take a ''really'' desperate girl to get with Chris. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 20:29, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Don't be silly. Chris won't live anywhere near as long as Bob has so far. I predict he'll die of a heart attack in his mid fifties. Maybe forties. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:41, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::::I'm also guessing 40. He eats fast food every day and he does nothing but sit on his ass. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:17, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::That's not true. Sometimes he stands up to play Guitar Hero and threaten the internet. -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 15:29, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Made up at the spot?==
Does anyone else think Chris's story sounds like it was made up at the spot at some parts? --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 23:27, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris is a pathological liar, so I wouldn't put it past him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:34, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:I doubt it. We have that post from June 4th by someone claiming to be Snyder saying Chris was taking pictures of him. Although I doubt Chris's testimony about what happaned especially after Micheal came out of the Game Place its right there his voice gets higher to the point where I can tell he is lying.
::Lucas and Mimms said that TheRcholic is indeed Mike way back when [[100 2178]] was uploaded. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 02:05, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:::I think most of what he's saying here is true, or at least the general concept. That said, if I had a daughter, and I saw someone like Chris hanging around with a camera, you had better believe I would assume the worst.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris is a bad liar. There's way too much details. He was drinking ONE beer at a local bar with his DS and a camera for ONE hour. Then, he decided ON THE SPOT to go take a picture of Michael for an inexistent dartboard? My bullshit detector was on the red right passed time 1:34. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:03, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Well then, mine broke. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:13, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:I believe him. Nothing in the story is out of the ordinary for him. Drinking, playing DS in public, dumb impulsive ideas, using pictures as dartboards, vehicular assault; he's done all of these at least once. His story fits in perfectly with the other one and actually makes more sense than him taking photos of a little girl. And his story doesn't exactly make him seem any less in the wrong, though being a dumbass he probably thinks it does. [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 18:24, 12 June 2010 (UTC)
::I think he's telling a half-truth. He was there taking pictures of Michael Snyder for use as a dartboard, he was caught off guard by Mike jumping in front of him that second time(the first time he was yelling at him to get out of the car), and he had only had one drink(possibly). However, he wasn't just taking pictures of Mike--he was also trying to get pictures of anyone that may have been on Mike's "side" of Chris's imaginary feud with him. Chris photographed everyone Mike was talking to on the assumption that he would only speak with his supporters and in the process photographed his daughter. He got caught during this and when the police made Chris delete the photos(keyword, "photos", not "photo"), Mike saw a picture of his daughter. Chris sperged out and started complaining about trolls and the officers gave him a warning because honestly, the guy is very clearly retarded.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:52, 12 June 2010 (UTC)
:::That's possible. And actually I said little girl, but do we even know how old Michael's daughter is? Do we even know how old Michael is? As for Michael jumping in front of his car, that also sounds not right, but I don't think Chris lied, I think his little autistic brain thinks that's what actually happened. [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 16:02, 13 June 2010 (UTC)
::::From context, she's young enough that it should be obvious but old enough that Chris didn't pick up on it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 16:31, 13 June 2010 (UTC)
==Robotnik==

I haven't played any Sonic games since ''Sonic & Knuckles'', but, by Chris's own admission, pretty much what happened is that he was sneaking around doing something he shouldn't, jumped into a machine to try to beat the good guy, and ultimately failed. Not to mention that his torso is really fat and round and his limbs are really skinny. It just seems to me that Chris is getting more and more like Dr. Robotnik as time goes on. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 07:34, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
*So he'll say "I'MMMMMMM STRAIIIIIIGHT YOU TROLLLLLSSSS!" every time we win? Awesome.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 08:57, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:: Yeah, kinda like that. And eventually he'll get fed up of going after <s>Sonic</s> the trolls by himself and build two humorously incompetent robot henchmen. Except by "building," I mean "inflating," and the robots are actually his blow-up dolls Kimmi and Officer Nasty.

:: Hey, Clyde's hair is even spiky. Just dye it blue and you have an instant hero. Maybe Liquid can be Tails or something, I dunno. It would be just like AoStH, except "Robotnik" has no wacky schemes, isn't really actively pursuing destroying the hero, and has a fucking terrible singing voice. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 09:37, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

:::As opposed to the real Robotnik, who sings like an Angel. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:33, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

::::A lot like [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvyvwoi6mrw Long John Baldry], actually. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 01:15, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

:::Make it so, number two. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:38, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

::::Ta-da.
[[Image:Dr Chris Chan.png|left|150px]][[Image:Sonic Clyde Cash.jpg|center|200px]]--[[User:Yoyoddd|Yoyoddd]] 10:19, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

Put these images in the fanart section immediatly! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:15, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

I wish Chris was still taking fanmail. Maybe an innocent seven-year-old fan would mail it claiming Chris reminded him of Robotnik or something. I'm sure that would put him in a minor fit. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 21:11, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
*Oh, hey, I just realized that Chris was SNOO-PING AS USUAL I SEE.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:52, 12 June 2010 (UTC)

==Police Report==
There must be one. I don't know any free service to get the record, but if anyone does, toss it up. Alternatively, if someone is willing to use a pay service to get at it, it might make somebody here love you. Not me though. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 17:46, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
* Keep an eye on [http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=IgL6lgJ0ciJdZHqNItwC9IIt79kNs2z0bXy0js2l1aI%3d&input=name this page]. It has Chris's other crimes, so it may be updated later. [[User:HermanoBluth|HermanoBluth]] 19:58, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
::Thanks Bluth, I'll be watching that. But there should be a document written by a police officer that details the entire incident from the perspective of that officer. I think that might do a lot to give a clear image of what happened, since all we've got is a few words from Michael (who didn't give much detail, and may not be totally correct) and a video from Chris (who is pretty okay with lying, and regardless is a poor communicator). The records are sorted by place and time, not name, but should be pretty trackable. The only issue is that I think you need access to a paid database to collect the record if you're outside the jurisdiction. I'm not 100% sure though, since I've never gone looking for one. If somebody knows how to find the record, that would probably make the entire situation ''much'' clearer. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 17:03, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
*Once the case is closed the information is open to public perusal...provided there is a case, or if a write-up counts. --[[User:Hellion|Hellion]] 12:25 11 June, 2010

==Am I the only one that noticed this?==
I noticed the absence of not only the medallion but also the amnyfest ring. Usually this means that this isnt TRUE and HONEST content, right? Or is there some other mitigating circumstance? I am not going to edit the article to highlight this as I doubt that no one hasnt noticed these things missing. I am just interested on you guys' take on this. Thoughts? [[User:Wozblod|Wozblod]] 20:59, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Good eye! I missed this detail.--[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 21:30, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Neither have the past two videos before this. Either that means the past two videos (effectively both internet rage quits, and we can see how honest those were) were all lies, or it's part of his newer, more-"mature" (if you can call it that) image, what with the less retarded clothing. I think the latter is more likely, although the former would make sense. I just doubt Chris actually plans things like that. And given his frequent tendency of lying, he'd probably label blatant lies as True and Honest anyway. --[[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 04:10, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*I think someone in the YASG briefed him on the cock-blocking power of the medallion. So, in the effort of cosplay Marco Polo, he removed the piece of clay and replaced it by his own brand of "Trailer Chic". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:10, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
== A Warning...Really? ==

Did the cops seriously let Chris off with a warning? Were they not informed beforehand about his previous troubles with Chris? I was absolutely furious to hear that Chris was let off the hook again. --SpaceScreaminJohn 00:49, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

He's got three priors so the police know him. And they what we know; he's too weak to cause people real harm. Still, he's dangerous behind the wheel. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:56, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
*Those three priors were five years ago. Plus, anyone who sees Chris can tell that he has some sort of mental problem--Wes always thought he had Downs, for example. If Bob and Barb are any indication, Charlottesville is surrounded by lawsuit happy rednecks and the cop wouldn't have a chance in court--and even then such a scandal would ruin their career, they'd always be "that monster who busted a poor retarded guy". Really, the warning was the best thing they could do. If Chris winds up doing something stupid again this year, they'll probably come down on him a bit harder.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:18, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

** I agree, the cops probably let him off easy because they did sense that he's retarded. However, it won't be much help to him if he does it again. At this point, Chris's repeated harassment of Michael could very well be argued to be criminal and definitely threatening. If Chris pulls this shit again, there's going to be 2 possible outcomes:

1. If the cops do nothing or let him off with a warning again, Michael has more than enough proof to file a civil suit against Chris for mental suffering, and Chris's autism wont get him off the hook this time. Regardless of Chris's mental state, he did cause suffering to Michael and someone will have to pay for not protecting him from Chris. Either Chris's parents (or possibly the police department if it can be proved they acted negligently in protecting Michael form Chris) would end up having to pay for Snyder's suffering, and most likely it would be the lumberjack and snorlax as their technically his legal guardians. When they have to sell the house to pay off the legal bills and judgment against them, maybe then they will reflect on their utter failure as parents.

2. Chris get's arrested, booked and processed. Now, since he is legally retarded, he wouldn't get sent to jail, but he is still a danger to the community, so he'd end up institutionalized. This would be perfect, as he'd be forced to live with a bunch of other "slow in the minds" and I'm 90% certain that they don't allow video games, especially not to retards that have addictions to them. He could then only be released if it's proven that he's capable of functioning in the real world, and we all know that that isn't gonna happen.

Needless to say, Chris has pushed his luck for the last time. If he does do something criminal again, he'll be in deep shit --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 12:46, 11 June 2010 (EST)
*Here here! Lets all hope that he gets his comeuppance next time then. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:35, 11 June 2010 (UTC)

**Here's Hoping : ) --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 17:39, 11 June 2010 (UTC)

***There's no way chris, nor his parents, will ever learn from their mistakes. These people never change. They'll always seem themselves as a victim. They'll always have something to fall back on. "WELL IF THAT MAN AT WAL-MART NEVER SOLD ME THE GUN I WOULDN'T HAVE SHOT ANYONE, HE SHOULD BE ARRESTED TOO!" [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 16:58, 13 June 2010 (UTC)

== He mentioned two trolls to the officers ==

Which two get the honor, I Say Clyde and tito

Does he realize how crazy he must sound if the police have no idea what a "troll" is? You take away the internet meaning, and he sounds like some paranoid retard who thinks some imaginary creatures are out to get him via the web.--[[User:PhilRaptor|PhilRaptor]] 08:17, 11 June 2010 (UTC)

== Has Chris crossed the line? ==
If he's really tried to kill Michael, is it possible this has stopped being funny and started being scary?
-Sarge 13:33 10 June 2010.
* God damn, guys, stop being so melodramatic. This shit isn't scary, and no matter what he does, he will never achieve an action which is scary. You guys need to get off the internet more. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 12:37, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
* He tried to hit someone with a car.
:*Sign your posts guys. It's just 4 ~ in a row, not that hard. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 15:17, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
* Chris is a first-class pussy. I think he tried to do so but became skittish at the last second. I still think he might hit someone on a 'Tard-Rage moment but this wasn't the case. As far as I can say, Chris's stalking habits raised many red flags even before I have heard that he owns a car. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:13, 10 June 2010 (UTC)

"Chris cross" lol.

but seriously, if the police won't do anything, this is probably what will land him in jail for good, considering he can't do anything else. Let's just hope he's still reluctant to actually kill anyone IRL. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:44, 11 June 2010 (UTC)

=="Fiddle" the cats==

Just for the articles sake can we find where the rumor started that seems to be getting Manchild a bit annoyed? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
*Chris invented it on June 4 after a woman, possibly either Michael Snyder's wife or daughter, called him a "kiddie fiddler" and he misheard it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:32, 11 June 2010 (UTC)
**Do we have delicious sauce on this? [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 14:22, 12 June 2010 (UTC)
***This is all guesswork, but it fits with Michael's comments and Chris's inability to understand what other people are saying. Also, "kitty" sounds like "kiddie" and Chris is Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:42, 12 June 2010 (UTC)

== Well folks....... this is it. ==

The countdown to Oblivion has begun. It is only a matter of time before Chris is either is killed by his own stupidity or is institutionalized. I bet this will happen before the year is out. I cannot see someone as self destructive as Chris getting through another year. [[User:GOTDANG|GOTDANG]] 8:40 12 June
: Don't count on it. There's powerful forces out there hell-bent into keeping Chris in his "Free Range" lifestyle. First, the State of Virginia is paying pennies to keep him away from having to feed and lodge him. You can expect them to be lenient. Chris's parents are also happy with the gravy train coming from the State. They will fight in court any attempt to institutionalize him. I am also expecting Rocky to still be in a masochistic mood; she will not give up on the manchild until he does something REALLY dumb. So, even with the booze, his car and his "lifestyle", I don't expect seeing his demise before 2030. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:10, 12 June 2010 (UTC)
::*2030? I wouldn't go that far. Even if the retard is protected from others at all angles, don't forget he can still hurt himself. I predict that through a combination of his bad eating habits, laziness, and high stress levels, he'll die of a heart atack or stroke soon enough. I give it 7-9 years. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:20, 12 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: Factoring in his daily intake of fried foods and virtually little to any exercise, I would be more shocked if Chris didn't have a heart attack before he hits 35. His biggest threat is himself. --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 13:32, 12 June 2010 (EST)
==What will happen if he goes to court?==
I predict absolute hilarity from Christain Weston Chandler. Don't be surprise if he throws a tard rage in it. We all know what the result will be. [[User:Super Smash Bros. Fan|Super Smash Bros. Fan]]
:raep?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 19:26, 13 June 2010 (UTC)
:: Probably some times in jail at best. [[User:Super Smash Bros. Fan|Super Smash Bros. Fan]]
:::He won't be going to prison and court is highly unlikely unless he does something stupid like this again within the year.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:55, 13 June 2010 (UTC)
::::What does he need to do to get (not self induced) home arrest? [[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 00:32, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::If he ever winds up in court, it'll probably happen. His parents are very good at pleading for reduced sentences and to be fair Chris probably does deserve them due to his borderline mental retardation. Plus, if he gets a full sentence on trespassing his options are as follows--pay two full tugboats in fines, go to an institution(because he's too unstable for regular jail), or go under house arrest. Boblax is terrified of option B and won't pay for option A unless their only other choice is option B. Since they may have option C, they'll go with that, which is a win-win for everyone.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:59, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::: If Chris does do something stupid again, the main result will be institutionalization plus lulz. No doubt the lumberjack and snorlax will pitch a fit about how he's "special" and that he shouldn't be held accountable, but when the judge asks them what they have done to keep Chris form threatening others and keeping him safe form himself, they will have no excuse. I have no doubt that if Chris takes the stand, the jury and judge will be utterly puzzled by his allegations of mysterious people trying to keep him from getting laid and a man in a pickle suit stalking him. Eventually, one of two conclusions will be reached:

::::::A. Chris is completely insane, and must be institutionalized for his, and others, safety.

::::::B. The lumberjack and snorlax are unfit as his legal guardians, and will be sent to a state run home for the mentally challenged.

::::::Either ways, massive tard-ragings will follow the sentencing, and Chris will learn (for once) that the legal system does not exist for his sole purpose, but to keep people safe form him. --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 21:39, 13 June 2010 (EST)

::::::I seriously doubt Chris will learn anything from this purely hypothetical situation. Also, I doubt that he'll ever get into serious trouble, unless he runs someone over (which doesn't seem that likely, unless this drunk driving habit continues). Everything else that he has done is more or less a "misdemeanor" (or something like that, I'm not familiar with Americunt law), harmless stupid shit like yelling "NOOOOOOOO" in a crowded mall and not really threatening to anyone.
However, I would literally give my right hand to see him represent himself in court, that would be epic beyond human understanding :) [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:08, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and his ego

Chris and remorse

2010-06-01T17:51:41Z

Banzai881: /* Shifting blame */ Removed the part about Chris shifting blame to his mother about their house's condition - Chris's room is incomparably the cleanest part of 14 Branchland court

Every so often, one of the horrendous things [[Chris]] continually does catches up with him, and he is forced to apologize. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris [[Autism|tries to come off as emotional]], often feel very forced and insincere, leading many [[trolls]] to wonder if Chris is even capable of feeling '''remorse'''.

It's not out of the question. A common trait of [[autism]] is a lack of empathy, meaning it's likely that Chris has a difficult time trying to understand what other people feel. Just as time and time again he's shown himself unable to understand others' feelings of [[Chris and death|loss or sadness]], he seems equally incapable of understanding how his actions could possibly hurt or anger others. When he is expected to show remorse, it often seems as though he is just going through the motions, making the absolute minimum effort to get whoever he has upset to stop pestering him, so he can go back to his oblivious existence playing [[PS3]].

==Concept of Wrongdoing==

Developing an understanding of right and wrong is an important part of a child's development. Very young children don't actually take into consideration what is ethically the right or wrong thing to do. They base their actions on whether they are punished and rewarded, before they eventually internalize a consistent value system and learn to police their own behavior. Chris seems to be stuck in the earlier, childlike state. If something makes him feel bad, or if experience tells him he'll get in trouble for doing something, it must be wrong. If it makes him feel good, or looks like it could have potential rewards, it must be right. Other considerations, such as what his [[Chris and religion|supposed faith]] prescribes or how this will affect [[Megan|other]] [[The Wallflower|people]], simply do not rank.

An excellent example would be how Chris managed to destroy his relationship with [[Megan]]. Chris was at war with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], who were, among other things, calling him [[gay]]. In an attempt to disprove their allegations, Chris uploaded [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a certain image]] to the website, apparently under the belief that that sort of information overload would get them to shut up. When the denizens of ED assumed the image was of Crystal, Chris was quick to correct them. At no point did he even consider Megan's feelings. When she [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called him out]], Chris didn't realize he had done anything wrong, and assumed she was upset simply because she didn't watch enough [[Chris and sex|porn]].

{{Quote|I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of [[Chris and English|outtercourse]] (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry.|Chris, [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|not getting it at all]].}}

As such, Chris isn't really capable of remorse or a sincere apology. The natural precursor to an apology is the internal realization that one has done something wrong, a realization that Chris's childish, self-centered mindset will not allow him to reach. In his mind, he's done something "wrong" only when the people around him react negatively. Furthermore, as a rule, he assumes that their reaction is just the result of some misunderstanding, reasoning that if he was just given the chance to explain what he was trying to accomplish, they would understand, and all would be forgiven.

==Motivation to apologize==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|I'm sorry, now give me money.]]
As explained above, Chris's logic when it comes to matters of right and wrong is almost wholly reactionary. His rationale for apologizing follows the same pattern. He issues them only when made fully aware that he won't get what he wants unless he at least tries to appear genuinely remorseful.

Every apology Chris has ever made can be immediately connected to something Chris wants, and thinks he'll get if he says the magic words "I'm sorry". We almost never have to guess what that thing might be, he almost always mentions his desired goal in the same paragraph, sometimes even in the next sentence.
{{Quote|I wish to apologize to Michael Schneider for that mistake I made over nine months ago that got me kicked out of The GAMe PLACe... I miss my Friday nights over there… and also... y’all are the only place in town that has, uh, Eye of Judgment cards.|Chris, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologizing in order to buy stuff]].}}
{{Quote|I apologize for the past unformalities[sic] and emotional outbursts in past communications... I ask for 25% of all money... you have and will have made from all [the [[audiobooks]]] you have put together and sold.|Chris, apologizing for sending [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]] a fucking [[Death threats|death threat]].}}
[[File:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Because Chris's apologies spring from this simplistic cause-and-effect mentality, things tend to get interesting when whoever he's issuing them to tells him that all is not well, and that he is not forgiven. In [[I_am_Alive|one notable case]], he admitted to ungentlemanly conduct regarding his feud with [[Asperchu]]. It was a fairly obvious attempt to get [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia_Advertisements|certain ads removed from the CWCipedia]], but, notably, he announced his intention to kill off the character of [[Simonla]], in accordance with [[Evan| her creator's]] wishes. He didn't act quickly enough, and CWCipedia was taken down from the web altogether. Although his anger was understandable, Chris revealed in [[9_February_2010| his next video]] that he had never intended to kill Simonla in the first place, and that the apology was not true and honest. We had all suspected, but it's nice to get confirmation once in a while. After CWCipedia returned, he did indeed kill Simonla, but only under pressure, and in the most contrived, dull, yet very lulzy way possible.

The one apology that arguably highlights Chris's insincerity the most is his in-comic apology to the Asperpedia Four, which takes place ''while [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|condemning them to death]]''. The cognitive dissonance this creates would be overwhelming to any sane person, but [[Autism|for some reason]], Chris thought that this ludicrous non-apology apology was both okay and that the recipients would accept it as genuine.

This can also be seen in Chris's misadventures with [[The Wallflower]]. When the shit hit the fan and she cut off all ties with him, he made his usual [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pathetic display of sorrow]], making it very clear in the process that he only wanted her for [[sex]]. When his apology failed to work as planned, Chris became very angry and spiteful, and started [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|demanding that she apologize for hurting ''his'' feelings]].
{{-}}
==Common traits of a CWC apology==

===Explanation===
One recurring element in Chris's admissions of guilt is an explanation of why he did whatever he's apologizing for. The way these speeches are worded often indicates that Chris believes that if we just understood his intentions, we would all agree with him, and that nobody would be offended.

A famous example appears in the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]] video. Chris explains that yes, he videotaped himself performing a selection of disturbing sex acts, but it was all for his sweetheart [[Ivy]], and this evidently renders his actions understandable and acceptable. Supposedly speaking to a young child who was shocked by his behavior, he tells her that his behavior was perfectly reasonable because he is both adult and human. This combination of warped logic and an even more warped world-view was a crucial component of his breakthrough to mainstream infamy.

Another good example would be the time he [[Twin Falling Towers|used the worst terrorist attack in American history for an exceedingly bad joke]]. After learning that [[Kacey]] came from a military family, Chris did what was expected of him and made a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|public apology]]. However, he was more concerned with continuing to slander [[Clyde Cash]] and assuring us he was a good American (although he didn't know the words to his own national anthem)<ref>[[Mumble 7#summary|Mumble Chat 7]]</ref><ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref> than with actually expressing remorse and making an attempt at recompense.
[[Image:SnuffOutClyde.jpg|thumb|This looks like a good idea.]]
{{Quote|The joke was mainly directed to how WEAK Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.|[[Apology_for_9/11_Joke#Apology_image_text|Chris's written apology]].}}

Within the same video, he changed the photoshop he'd done of the World Trade Center towers into birthday candles. That he saw no problem in presenting an image of the two buildings on fire and repeatedly calling them weak while he asserted that he was a good American proves that he [[Fail|completely missed the point]] of what he was supposed to be apologizing for. He was far more concerned with sullying Clyde's name than with any blowback or offense his comments might have caused.

===Rationalization===

Chris is incredibly self-righteous. In his mind he is the only decent man left in the world, and everybody else is an evil [[JERKS|jerk]]. This mindset gives Chris all the justification he needs to mistreat others, because as far as he's concerned they're all the bad guys, standing in the way of his [[Love Quest|heroic quest]].

This "everything I do is right" mindset shows through when he is forced to talk about his prior transgressions. Chris might offer a half-assed apology, simply to conform to the wishes of whoever he's talking to, but it will often be accompanied with a long explanation as to why he ''had'' to do it.

{{Quote|I was wrong... I pretended to be him yet he was the liar. I'm the real deal... So on that one part I was wrong for the right reasons.|Chris, [[I Love You Kacey|almost admitting wrongdoing]].}}

He exhibited this self-righteous attitude many times in the [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] saga: because he is the TRUE and HONEST Christian, this gave him the right to [[For Kacey from CWC|attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend by]] [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be him]], and then [[SHE IS MINE NOW|gloat about it once he apparently achieved his aim]]. Once again, Chris saw no wrong in this. Since Liquid wronged him by trolling him in the first place, anything he did in response was entirely justified.

==Retraction==

Chris, believing that his actions are always right, nearly always has to be pressured into making any form of apology at all. Most, if not all, of his apology messages are motivated by the people he [[Fuck Quest|physically desires]] (be they obvious troll or otherwise) or [[Asperchu|desires to appease]], rather than the public outcry he causes, and certainly not by any true sense of guilt. A retraction of an apology is just as hollow as the apology itself, in that Chris is quite happy to lie to [[Chris and his ego|save face]] or gain [[china|something he wants]]. For instance, Chris '''finally''' [[02_March_2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on 2 March 2010. However, only a month later, on 8 April, he was talking to [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

When trolls hacked his PSN accounts, Chris made [[A_near_public_apology|a near public apology]]. A blatant attempt to get his PSN account back, the apology was, of course, chock full of lies and insincerity.

One of his favorite ways to smite his [[Clyde Cash|invisible internet enemies]] and [[jerkop|real-life foes alike]] is to lay a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] upon them; thinking that he has powers akin to something more along the lines of Wicca, Voodoo, or Goku from [[Things Chris has ripped off|DBZ]] than with the [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] he practices. He only issued the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]] after [[Kacey|his latest e-girlfriend]] told him that he shouldn't have done so.

Considering that he [[Surfshack_Tito_(video)|quickly returned]] to his ways of cursing, [[Don't_Mess_With_Me|threatening]], and [[Chris_Drops_the_N-Bomb|insulting]] his enemies, the sentiment obviously didn't stick.

==Shifting blame==

When Chris isn't trying to justify the trouble he causes, he usually resorts to blaming others. The most famous example is him blaming [[ED]] for the end of his friendship with [[Megan]], even though it was because of a picture he himself thought up, drew, and then uploaded to his [[ED|article]]. Chris had it literally screamed at him in [[Mumble 3]], but then, as now, he still doesn't know the true reason. The best anyone has ever been able to extract from Chris is that he came on too strong. While technically true, this is a vast understatement which fails to capture the massive amount of fault which lies with Chris (that is to say, all of it).

====The Wallflower====

Chris went to great lengths to keep the knowledge of [[The Wallflower]] away from the slanderous trolls of the Internet. However, he foolishly credited her by her screen name during one of his sycophantic Little Big Planet levels and the trolls used that to find her Facebook page... which then lead to a massive dump of info about her on the CWCki. When she was later linked to said CWCki, and horrified at the amount of information available about her, she requested that the CWCki admins remove the information since she really had very little to do with Chris and didn't deserve such a descriptive page about her. ''(Note: naturally, since her request seemed reasonable, the CWCki admins complied and replaced all references to her with a pseudonym.)''

Frightened and disgusted by what she had found, [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|she broke off all contact with Chris]], including even casual association. She also clarified to the CWCki admins that they had never dated, never had any kind of relationship beyond casual association, and before her introduction to the CWCki she really didn't know much about him at all. Chris, however, [[Chris and reality|not to be deterred]], proclaimed many times that they had [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|been on several dates]], and [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|"Shared DNA"]], along with enjoying a kiss and massage. Since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally... [[Jackie e-mails_Part_2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|Chris had either momentarily forgotten that he had never been kissed]], something that would have been a monumental occasion in his life, lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed, or lied to Jackie about ''not'' being kissed (though that is very unlikely). Either way, he still lied about the kiss, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).

With ALL the above in mind... in the month following their "breakup", Chris would go on to blame The Wallflower for [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#The_Breakup|having an internet presence at all]]. In Chris's warped view of things, the reason that she broke up with him was because, by allowing herself to have a Facebook page and other information, ''she enabled herself to suffer because of Chris's actions''. Chris mentioned that he was ready to accept an apology ''from her'' at their social group meeting, when the reality was he should have been the one offering most sincere groveling for allowing his reprehensible behavior to be [[CWCki|published]].

====Forgetting====

Aside from directly shifting the blame by [[list of Chris's lies|lying]], Chris has been frequently known to 'forget' important, critical details of his life, typically ones that make him look bad. When [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] was flirting with him by e-mails and found out about the CWCki, she asked Chris about cheating on [[Ivy]] with [[Vanessa]], the full details of which are documented right [[Ivy|here]]. Chris, of course, claimed flat out that the whole thing was a troll deception and that Jackie shouldn't believe it. When Jackie informed Chris she found a video of him admitting it and confessing, Chris claimed he [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_3#Chris "Forgot" He Cheated On Ivy|"forgot" this "portion"]].

On [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_27th,_2008|October 27th in 2008]], Chris nervously announced he had found his one true sweetheart; [[Chloe]]. Many things immediately leapt out at the trolls as being lies, including his previous announcements on an [[Chris%27s_Sonichu_IRC_Chloe_Introduction|IRC chat]]. Due to Chris's unreliable short-term memory and inaction on the part of [[trolls]], after the 27 October video Chloe was never mentioned again in a video by Chris. A little more than a year later, in [[Mailbag 13]], rather than simply admit he was lying, Chris claimed "I currently have no recollection of a Chloe", even though she was supposedly the woman he had his first real kiss with.

In [[Mumble 6#On The Trans-gender Community|Mumble 6]], the troll army called out Chris on his statements regarding transgendered women. Chris claims that he forgot his previous statement, which may or may not be completely honest. In any event, Chris has discovered that (real or otherwise) a faulty memory is a socially acceptable way to dodge probing questions about ones past lies.

== Index of Chris's apologies ==

Below is an abridged list of Chris's various apologies for his many, many misdeeds. Small apologies may have been missed here and there, but these are the big ones.

*When Megan [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called Chris out on his reprehensible actions]] regarding the porn he drew of her, he first [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|copy-pasted "Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you."]] fifteen times in an e-mail to her, then [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|went into detail about how a handjob works]], figuring that [[virgin with rage|sexual frustration]] and [[naive|ignorance]] were the root causes of her [[chris and anger|anger]]. Projecting, much?
*After Chris was banned from [[The Game Place]], he tried several times to get unbanned. The first was [[Apology_to_Game_%26_Hobby_Place|a video where Chris apologies just so he can buy more junk]]. The [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|second]] was where he prepared a script, stashed a camera in his pocket, then walked into The Game Place to confront [[Michael Snyder]], claiming he had changed and apologizing for his actions. After Michael flatly refused to listen and called the cops, Chris berated him on religious grounds then called him a Jew.
*After threatening [[Vivian]]'s life when she made better [[audiobooks]] than he did, Chris apologized to her... then made a demand for a cut of her "profits", the two sentences separated by only a single dot.
*In [[I am Alive]], Chris apologizes for his ungentlemanly conduct in regard to Asperchu. This was a transparent attempt to get the [[homo]] ads removed from the [[CWCipedia]] and his behavior [[9_February_2010|subsequent]] to this apology proved he meant nothing he said in the video.
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris apologized to the Asperchu Four ''while simultaneously having them brutally executed'', including having one of them killed by a [[Sandy|toddler]].
*After [[Sex tape|filming himself performing sex acts for Ivy]], Chris [[Captain%27s_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009|apologized for his actions]] but structured his apology to state that his behavior was, in fact, completely normal and that [[Ching Chong]] shouldn't feel bad for watching it.
*In [[Matthew_5_27,_CWC_Confessions]], Chris apologized for cheating on [[Ivy]].
*After [[Twin_Falling_Towers|mocking the worst act of domestic terrorism]] in United States history, Chris made a subsequent [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|apology video]]... which featured the Twin Towers as candles on a birthday cake, complete with multiple gouts of flame flying from the top.
*When [[Kacey]] discovered Chris had pretended to be the [[Liquid Chris|other, better Chris]] in order to get a travel visa to [[China]], Chris apologized by way of his video [[I_Love_You_Kacey|"I Love You Kacey"]], where he claimed he was "...was wrong for the right reasons."
*Chris '''finally''' [[02_March_2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on the 2nd of March. However, only a month later on the 8th of April he was talking to [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-05-12T18:03:17Z

Banzai881: /* Gamefaqs */

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-05-12T17:50:46Z

Banzai881: /* Gamefaqs */

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-05-12T17:46:37Z

Banzai881: /* Gamefaqs */

How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls

2010-05-10T19:27:10Z

Banzai881: added a new image

[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|Cover page of the original assignment. Note the English class.]]
{{Illustrations}}

{{quote|Others say that they originated from the depths of nature's elements. But, they are all not true...this is the
true story..|''How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls'', Tablet 1, Fragment 1; author unknown, but typically attributed to "High Shaman Kris'Tchan the Feeble Minded"}}

'''"How the Pokémon came into Our PokéBalls"''' is a short story by [[Christian]] done in his ''senior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]].'' In it, he attempts to establish some form of creation-myth for the Pokémon universe. Coincidentally, there is an [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Sinnoh_myths official one] now.

How it got a good grade is a mystery lost to time.

==Introduction==
[[Image:How_the_pokemon_came_into_our_pokeballs.png|thumb|Something like this...]]
How the Pokemon Came Into Our Poke Balls.
10/30/[[1999|99]]
(Intro.)

For my English class in late September of this year, I had to write my own
myth. So, I figured "Why not make a myth about how Pokémon came
to be."

My English teacher thought that it was a great story. So did my [[Barbara|mom]] and [[lies|a
few other people]]. Since it was so [[fail|good]], I thought I'd feature it on this
website. Click Here to read my story. Enjoy. :)

==Page 1==
9/22/99
Page 1.
[[Image:Mewchew.jpg|thumb|right|Mewchu, the creator-god of the Pokémon, according to Kris'Tchan the Feeble Minded.]] Some people say that the Pokemon came from the sky in a giant
rock known as the Moon Stone. Others say that they originated from the
depths of nature's elements. But, they are all not true...this is the
true story.

A long, long time ago in the heavens above, there were such
powerful gods as Zeus, Maheo,<ref>[http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/native_american-mythology.php?deity=MAHEO Maheo is a Native American creation deity]</ref> and [[GodJesus|many more]]. But, it all started with
a rookie god, known as...Mewchu<ref>Spoilers for Sonichu #12: Sonichu and a Mew fuse to create the god Mewchu who travels back in time to create the Pokémon.</ref> He had thepower to help provide for the
animals, plants, minerals, and to keep track of the seven natural powers of
the universe: Fire, Grass, Lightning, Water, Fighting, Psychic, and the
power of the Colorless Star.

Mewchu made sure that the animals and plants were fed from [[McDonald's|natures
good foods]]. He made sure that nature's minerals, such as rocks, dirt from
the ground, and the mucky messes were used for their purpose.

One day, Mewchu said to himself, "[[Monthly Tugboat|There must be a way to allow the
animals, small and big, to do these tough chores, so that I may be able to
be a little clean.]]" Then, he thought, "Why not give some of the natural
powers to a new type of creature." So, he went down to earth with the
power to absorb the natural powers of earth, and share it. So, he
stood... in the middle of the Pacific, surrounded by islands of seven
and water.
[[Image:Mewchu.png|thumb|right|True and Original Creator of all Pokemon, DO NOT STEAL!.]]

He decided to start with making a powerful animal to assist him
in his great task. Then, he found a weird creature on an island. It was
mostly white, blue eyes, short arms, big feet, and a long tail with a pink
tip. Mewchu has never seen such an animal, so he absorbed the power of
Psychic from the stars, gave the creature a gentle rub on its back, and
picked it up. And Mewchu said to the creature, "You, rare creature, have
received the supernatural power of the Psychics from the stars above us.
But you would need a name for you will be my assistant to make a new type
of elemental creatures. I shall call you...Mew." And the Mew jumped for
joy, then set him down with some wise words. "Mew," Mewchu said, "I want
you to pick some animals that are here now, and share with them the Psychic
power. For I would not be able to, because I may only share each elemental
power only one time for one creature or more. I trust that you can share
this power, while I handle the other six elemental powers." Then he set the
Mew down, on its island and it went on its way.

==Page 2==
9/22/99
Page 2.

Mewchu decided to start with the power of grass, so he rubbed the
grass of another island's ground, and he waved his hand over the trees.
A triceratops began to lose its horns, and it turned into a creature
called [[Wikipedia:Bulbasaur|Bulbasaur]]. A caterpillar lost its fuzz; it grew a little bigger; it
turned green, and it got the name of [[Wikipedia:Caterpie|Caterpie]]. Another caterpillar's fur
only shortened; it grew a small horn; it grew a little, like the Caterpie
did; it turned orange, and it became a [[Wikipedia:Weedle|Weedle]]. A rattlesnake turned
purple, and grew a single yellow stripe; it became an [[Wikipedia:Ekans|Ekans]]. A rat grew
small horns, turned blue, and became a [[Wikipedia:Nidoran♀|Nidoran (female)]]. And, another rat
grew bigger horns, turned pink, and became a [[Wikipedia:Nidoran♂|Nidoran (male)]]. A bat's legs
turned to two tails as thin as a blade of grass, its ears grew bigger, and
it became a [[Wikipedia:Zubat|Zubat]]. A tiny bush sprouted out of the ground, grew eyes,
and became an [[Wikipedia:Oddish|Oddish]]. A fuzzy bush grew two teeth like a vampire; it
became a [[Wikipedia:Venonat|Venonat]]. A bell-shaped palm shrunk; it became a [[Wikipedia:Bellsprout|Bellsprout]].
A mud puddle grew into a [[Wikipedia:Grimer|Grimer]]. Six eggs bounced and said, "[[Wikipedia:Exeggcute|Exeggcute]]."
A puff of smoke became solid, and mentioned, "[[Wikipedia:Koffing|Koffing]]." A bunch of vines
gathered around another Oddish, it was [[Wikipedia:Tangela|Tangela]]. A dragonfly grew, and said,
"[[Wikipedia:Scyther|Scyther]]." The rocks got a body of armor, and said, "[[Wikipedia:Pinser|Pinser]]."

Then Mewchu dipped his hand into the firey volcano of another
island, pulled it out, and waved his hand over the volcano. Many animals
were below. A baby tyrannosaurus got fire on its tail, and yelled,
"[[Wikipedia:Charmander|Charrrrmander]]!" A fox's tail split into six. Maybe, it's now a [[Wikipedia:Vulpix|Vulpix]].
A dog turned orange, and growled, "[[Wikipedia:Growlithe|Growwwllithe]]!" A [[Wikipedia:Ponyta|pony]] got burned, and
neighed. A chunk of ash was revived and turned into a [[Wikipedia:Magmar|Magmar]]. And, a big
bird flew out the volcano, it was a [[Wikipedia:Moltres|Moltres]].

Mewchu then dipped his hand in the ocean's waters, and gave another
wave over another island with a big lake in the middle. A baby turtle and
a squirrel on an island joined together to make a [[Wikipedia:Squirtle|Squirtle]]. A fat duck
turned yellow with a headache; it became a [[Wikipedia:Psyduck|Psyduck]]. A tadpole got bigger
with a swirl on its belly, a [[Wikipedia:Poliwag|Poliwag]] came to be. A jellyfish's arms shrunk
into two. It was then a [[Wikipedia:Tentacool|Tentacool]]. A [[Wikipedia:Slowpoke|Slowpoke]] was formed when a baby
hippopotamus grew a tail. A seal turned white, and grew a horn on its
head; it was [[Wikipedia:Seel|Seel]]. A shell opened up, and stuck out a tongue, hello
[[Wikipedia:Shellder|Shellder]]. A [[Wikipedia:Krabby|Krabby]] came when a crab got crowned. A seahorse started to
spit oil, a fish grew a horn on its head, and starfish grew a jewel.
Here were a [[Wikipedia:Horsea|Horsea]], a [[Wikipedia:Goldeen|Goldeen]], and a [[Wikipedia:Staryu|Staryu]]. A crown from a treasure grew
onto a hard-shell fish; here was a [[Wikipedia:Magikarp|Magikarp]]. A rare lochness monster grew
a spiked shell on its back; it became a [[Wikipedia:Lapras|Lapras]]. A fossil was revived; it
was an Omanyte. Out of an arctic ice berg, an Articuno broke out.

==Page 3==
9/22/99
Page 3.

Meanwhile, Mew shared its Psychic power with a Psyduck, and a
Slowpoke. When Mew shared it with a rat, it fell asleep, and grew into
an Abra. When Mew came across the body of a dead lizard, it summoned its
spirit, and shared some "Gastly" secrets with it. Later, Mew met an
anteater; Mew put it to sleep, and the anteater became a Drowzee. Mew found
two monkeys, with an evolution. One turned into a Mr. Mime, and the other
became a Jynx. Later in the night, Mew gave birth, and the baby Mew looked
different. The new Mew gave its mother a psychic attack, and thrown it up
a tree. Suddenly, the new Mew grew to the size that
of a man with many years, It was a Mewtwo.

Meanwhile, Mewchu found a barren island with sand and rocks. He
punched it, and out of the ground came the fighting and ground type
creatures: Sandshrew, Diglett, Mankey, Machop, Geodude, Onix, Cubone,
Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, Rhyhorn, and a Kabuto.

Then Mewchu summoned a thunderstorm, and lightning struck another
island. The lightning hit a little mouse, and the mouse grew into a
Pikachu. Metallic minerals rose out of the ground of a small area of the
island, and it formed to make a Magnemite. A coconut was struck with a
piece of the metallic material carrying some of the electric power; the
coconut turned metallic; it became a Voltorb. A wild cat was struck, and
it became an Electabuzz. And out of the thunderous clouds came a Zapdos.

And finally, Mewchu planted a transparent star in the middle of the
other island. And from the star came the Colorless creatures: Pidgey,
Rattata, Spearow, Clefairy, Jigglypuff, Meowth, Farfetch'd, Doduo,
Lickitung, Chansey, Tauros, Eevee, Porygon, and Dratini.

Before Mewchu bid farewell, he waved his hand over all seven
islands, and most of the creatures evolved into more powerful creatures.
And, then He shouted out, "May these creatures be helpful to the earth,
and may they use their abilities wisely." Then, he said with a tear of
joy, "Farewell,... Pokemon." And Mewchu flew back into the heavens.

The End.

==Analysis==

At first you'd be tempted to say that it's just Chris attempting to combine Genesis with Pokémon; but in actuality it has more in common with the myths of polytheistic cultures.

An obvious similarity is that there are many gods, and Mewchu is just a "rookie god." Mewchu, charged with the nourishment of the plants and animals, is essentially a harvest/fertility deity, in the vein of the Greek goddess Demeter<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demeter</ref> His motivation for creating the Pokemon, so he'd have less work to do, is freakishly similar to the motivation behind the creation of man in the Enuma Elish. <ref>[http://www.sacred-texts.com/ane/enuma.htm Text of the Enuma Elish. Warning: tl;dr unless you like mythology a lot]</ref> Basically, Mewchu wanted to have shorter work days so he could get home in time for the game. It's a little mindboggling that Chris may or may not have been referencing something rather erudite like that; let's be honest, he wasn't... but still... ''huh''.

Additional similarities to polytheistic creation myths include the god altering an already-existing world to better suit its needs, as opposed to the ''logos''<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logos#Use_in_Christianity http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logos#Use_in_Christianity]</ref> of Genesis.

From a Pokémon point of view, the story still makes no sense. Regardless of the official Pokémon creation myths that were revealed in 2006 with the release of [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Generation_IV the fourth generation] of games, certain Pokémon already had their origins outlined even in the first set of games. Porygon and Mewtwo, for instance, are specifically stated to be artificially created. It can be assumed that Voltorb would have developed after the invention of the PokéBall. He also gets many of the Pokémon's real life interpretations wrong. An example being Pinsir, which he refers to as anthropomorphic "rocks that got a body of armor" when it is actually an anthropomorphic [[Wikipedia:Stag beetle|stag beetle]].

Another interesting point is that, although Chris seems to avert the "show, don't tell" rule by making stories composed almost exclusively of exposition, that method is actually a good fit here; most myths are told in such an expository style. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

In the end, he still just ripped off Pokémon for a school assignment, but this wasn't the [[Sonichu|only time]] ... and far from the last.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Poetry]]

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-05-10T18:54:21Z

Banzai881:

Chris and fashion

2010-05-05T15:29:31Z

Banzai881: /* Wardrobe */

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|150px|right|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to spend thousands of dollars on video games, action figures, [[My Little Pony]]s and [[Kimmi|sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful, collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

In [[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] it was revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his cruel, cruel [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] so people will notice the fact that he's [[Autism|"special"]] and [[Kick the Autistic|treat him with sympathy]]. Alternatively, the reason could also be the fact that the Chandlers aren't exactly what you'd call "fashion savvy". Despite his mother not being the one who dresses him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts possibly out of a strong aversion to "change," which is a common trait shared among autistic people. It has been debated amongst trolls that Chris would probably look somewhat-almost normal if he only wore a fucking t-shirt every now and then (sans video game/cartoon characters).

== Childhood ==
In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and tee shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored tee shirts or shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and television characters on them. The only article of clothing he currently owns that doesn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the Pokémon T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|right|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

Chris's typical outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a striped/weirdly patterned rugby shirt, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) / his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to the Glasses Chain of Fail.
* Jeans (It is likely that he wears women's jeans because they define his rear end to disturbing levels) or khaki slacks.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt.
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* Recently, a [[sports bra]] to keep previously mentioned bosoms in check.

The newest addition to his wardrobe is the [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Mount and Do Me shirt]].

==The "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBA]]" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (Glasses Chain of Fail remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

Unconfirmed reports state that he was seen walking around downtown [[Charlottesville]] blasting Guns 'n' Roses from a pocket radio and trying to pick up women.

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white, and blue, implying a patriotic view of the colors.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_27th%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_18th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|4]] [[CWC's_"It's_All_Coming_Back_To_Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show_RESPECT_to_me,_"C"CWC|12]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|13]] [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|14]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_24th%2C_2008|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_Columbus_Day%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_6th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_10th%2C_2009|4]] [[12_January_2010|5]] [[14_January_2010|6]] [[What's_the_Name,_Christian_Chandler,_C_H_R_I_S_C_H_A_N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"The Impostor" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2008|1]] [[Chop_Chop_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|2]] [[Magical Man Potion|3]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_17th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_4th%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|3]] [[Challenge_for_Clyde_II|4]] [[15_October_2009|5]] [[9_December_2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_10th%2C_2009|2]] [[Congrats,_Jack_Black|3]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_August_3rd%2C_2008|1]] [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|2]] [[LOOK_at_the_truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[More_for_the_crabs|2]] [[ECV_00081|3]] [[Bunny_Hop|4]] [[11052009_Kacey,_I_Love_You,_and_I_Need_You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"Two-Faced" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_23rd%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|3]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_August_6th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_8th%2C_2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_13th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_6th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_9th%2C_2009|2]] [[I_am_devoted_to_My_Sweetest_Ivy|3]] [[Matthew_5_27%2C_CWC_Confessions|4]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_17th%2C_2009|5]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_22nd%2C_2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9_October_2009|8]] [[Warning_-_Naughty_Women_;)|9]] [[Old_Time_Rock_and_Roll_on_Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal_Legend|11]] [[3_December_2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris_Destroys_His_Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC_only_accepts_IN-PERSON_FEMALE_Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|8]] [[Hello,_Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_January_21st,_2009|1]] [[CWC_Callout_for_Miss_Emily_and_Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris_Chan's_Public_Announcement|1]] [[A_Sonichu_Day|2]] [[Shout_out_to_Fans_in_Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa_the_Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51_50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle_bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010_-_Autism_Awareness_%26_Men_Should_NEVER_be_Topless|1]] [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|2]]
</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

== Cosplaying Chris ==

[[Image:Chris chan cosplay.jpg|thumb|right|Christ, you can tell this world is totally fucked up when people start cosplaying AS Chris!!!]]

Chris appeared in his [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally created as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the 2004 [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against 5 kids dressed up as Team Rocket. The prize was a t-shirt.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> For a while, he resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]].

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* Pokémon League ballcap
* Fanny-pack (Also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)
The ensemble is usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' tee-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below).

Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his [[obesity|obscene girth]].

<center><gallery>
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|This is the most depressing thing ever seen by man kind.
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|A sketch of the costume. It's so brilliant, its voluptuous lines and shading caresses your eyes like a sensual piece of chocolate dipped velvet...
Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|Dat hat is a-pretty-a-goddamn dirty
</gallery></center>

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User:Banzai881

2010-05-04T23:22:44Z

Banzai881:

{{Eurofag}}{{Atheist}}{{Straight|male}}{{White}}
Banzai881 of the TRUE AND HONEST Sonichu fandase...um, fanbase...
I find Chrissy's terrible grasp on the English language and art most fascinating.

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-05-04T22:52:57Z

Banzai881: /* A Question... */

20 December 2009

2010-05-04T22:48:37Z

Banzai881: /* Video */

In "'''Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009'''" (officially "'''12202009.MOV'''"), [[Chris]] torments one of his many cats ([[Kitty Chandler]]) and discusses how he could not upload any [[Sonichu|comic pages]] due to his shitty computer not working after a [[Stress|blackout]]. He also tells his viewers not to look at any billboards in New York City that involve him, claiming that [[Clyde Cash]] had photoshopped the pictures.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 12202009
| image = {{#ev:youtube|IlYBUzuW9KA}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 20 December 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Rumours.png]] Rumors
| Shirt = [[Image:Greenwidestripeshirt.png]] The Swamp Monster
| previous = [[Hello, Juffalo]]
| next = [[A Sonichu Day]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:0721-Kitty.JPG|thumb|Kitty, hating Chris as always]]
[[Image:KittyHatesChris.png|thumb|Artist's depiction]]

[''noise of a growling cat is prominently heard whilst Chris holds her'']

Mm, [[Captain's Log]], Stardate: December 20th, 2009,

[''loud growl'']

Oop... [''Chris speaks in baby voice''] My little [[Chandler Cats#Kitty Chandler|Kitty]] here is getting a [[Chris and Anger|little fussy]].

[''to the cat in baby voice''] Y—it's okay, Kitty. It's okay. [[Megan Schroeder|Calm down—it's okay]]. Huai. Yeah. She's just my sweet little Kitty. Yeah. Okay I'll let you down, Kitty.

[''Chris puts cat down after it harshly hisses, and the cat stops growling'']

[''now acknowledging the viewers''] You know how [[Love Quest|kitties can be sometimes]]. Anyway, um, making this video as an update. I apologize for past couple of nights of me not being able to upload any pages, because, uh, yesterday I had a two-second blackout which pretty much, uh, took my computer out and, uh, what not, I'm trying to restart it, it messed it u—it wouldn't work for me, so I had to go through a whole restoring-the system restore thing, and it just took me a whole... great number... ti—great amount of time for me to fix that and reinstall al-most everything, but, yeah—but, a—as soon as—as soon as this bad time this video is uploaded, I'll be able to, uh, answer a few more letters in the mailbag, and I will. Kitty...

[''In a moment of classic autism, Chris fucking forgets what he was talking about mere seconds ago and goes looking for the cat off-screen'']

Kitty, come here, Kitty. Kit-kit.

[''Chris grabs the cat off-screen, and the furious cat-screeching is heard, followed by Chris speaking to the cat'']

Aww. Easy now, Kit-ty. Easy now.

[''Chris puts cat down for no apparent reason, then continues to speak to the cat'']

Now, now... there you go.

[''speaking to the viewers again''] Eh, anyway—uh, anyway—so anyway, I have—anyway, I have the pages up tomorrow, which should be a total six pages, so look forward to that, and, also, uhh, recent uh, piece has come to my attention, yeah. Currently, do not believe anything you see on the billboards, 'cause, apparently, uh, Clyde Cash has, uh, been dis—been trying to shank my reputation there with his... [[Pickle|thing]] and, uh, yeah, anyway, but you can tell obviously that that pi—that that picture he currently has there is photoshopped. Any picture he has of me is Photoshopped; it's fake; you can tell it's fake. So, again, uhhh, basically he's pu—making, he's just putting things right up in New York, but, anyway, just do not pay attention to those... okay? Anyway, with that, uh, I'll leave you all to that, and I'll answer some more [[mailbag]] laters tonight. [[Chris and religion|Merry Christmas]].

==One of these things is not like the others==

Here are the pictures Clyde Cash uploaded on the Times Square's interactive billboard. Note that only one is actually photoshopped.
[[Image:Gaybar.png|thumb|The Photoshop.]]

<center><gallery>
Image:Clyde billboard 01.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 02.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 03.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 04.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 05.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 06.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chandler Cats]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTKcKdeTEXM ChrisChanCat]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Hello, Juffalo]]|nextlink=[[A Sonichu Day]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]