CWCki - User contributions [en]

Bob Chandler

2012-06-16T18:18:34Z

Barry:

: ''"Bob" redirects here. For the troll occasionally known as Bob, see [[Robert Simmons V]].''
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]]
[[Cole|[That fuck] Bob]]
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 September [[2011]] (aged 84)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/4th [[Cherokee]]<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>)
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Patricia (c.1960-????) 
[[Barb]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| Dr. David Alan Chandler 
Carol Suzanne Chandler 
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (father) Jean Holloman (mother)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}
'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]- 6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's intense dislike of him and Bob's infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]].<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> His nickname, "the [[Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob was still viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]], due to him being somewhat concerned with Chris's status as a [[virgin with rage]], and the fact that he occasionally tried to guilt him into being more considerate by bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising a selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was unfazed by these attempts.

Bob conversed with numerous trolls. A lot of information was gained from these chats, mostly due to his tendency to yammer on.

Bob died on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Bob is presumably spending the afterlife haunting the [[Dreams|nightmares]] of Chris's [[Trolls|enemies]], much like his [[Patti|deceased childhood pet.]]

==Biography==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|"I seen crosses burnin', fella."]]

Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in [[Wikipedia:Alabama|Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref> He was the first child of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM</ref>-????), an Insurance Agent from Alabama, and Jean Holloman (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M</ref>-????), a Housewife from Texas.<ref>http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y47mWzzz1qblvg5o1_1280.jpg</ref>

Bob had been interested in the world around him since he was 10, and began collecting foreign stamps as a child in the [[1930s]]. He also developed an interested in foreign music, and eventually collected 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/>

===Service and education===
Bob was drafted after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones, and got to visit the beautiful [[CWCville|North Korea]]. When he got out, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn a type of engineering degree, although it's never specified (mechanical, electrical etc.).<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===
Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] for forty years. Using skills learned in the Army, he built for the company their first automatic [something] (it's unclear what Bob says here). General Electric heard about it and offered him a job in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that because of Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon" (despite video game technology actually being pioneered by [[Wikipedia:Ralph Baer|Ralph Baer]]).<ref name="Barbara" />

As examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, he automated a steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for papers into the form of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. A fact that both Chris and Barbara have bragged about is that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world.<ref name="About" />

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob learning how to cut that Internet down]]

Politically, Bob identified as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Later life and poor health===
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]

Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He never really had people to chat with (he loved to ramble if the person showed some slight interest), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob had had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. He wore an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived to 90-100.<ref name="PSN 37" />

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter]]ed that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]". Chris seemed confident that his father would come home shortly. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of heart failure in an elderly man]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. Information about his condition was hard to come by, as we only learned something [[Ego|once it has inconvenienced Chris enough for him to come online and complain about it]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Congenital Heart Failure|Congenital Heart Failure]]</ref> But again, Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a serious matter.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats to a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. But no mention of his ailing father.

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/9/9b/Bobbetter.jpg screen capture] of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally mentioned [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well," with no further elaboration on his condition.

On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that by that time [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and strongly disapproved of them.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now in his [[Tomgirl Saga|cross-dressing phase]], [[Response to ADF|mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in]], and had [[Chris and English|"feet-bloatings"]].

In early September, 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. [[Rocky Shoemaker call|It was discovered later]] that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was [[14 Branchland Court|covered in bug bites]] and he posed a contamination risk.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died at age 84.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".<ref name="BobObit" />

==Obituary==
Both [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:

* Text going into unusual detail about what Bob did at General Electric.
* The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] counsels Chris from.
* A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to donate money to Barbara and Chris. Given [[Chris and money|the money habits of Chris]] and Barb, the remaining Chandlers may be in a dire financial situation.

===Original text===
[[Image:Rip internet lumberack by vekke.png|thumb|May you always watch over our sweet autist.]]
:''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.''

:''He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.''

:''He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.''

:''He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.''

:''Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.''

:''A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.''

:''Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler. <ref name="BobObit" />

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia.<ref name="BobObit" /> She's most likely the mother of his two other children, [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], with whom he was both out of contact in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> For example, Chris did not know he had a niece named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old.<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> This is possibly due to an attempt to avoid spawning another subhuman freak like Chris.

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops," <ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he has yet to as of 9 September 2011. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your [[Nintendo]]."]]

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris, but he thought (and rightly so) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's been in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

After several occasions where trolls had communicated with Bob personally and found him to be quite pleasant and amicable, it's become obvious that he wasn't "starting arguments", as Chris asserts. More likely he was criticizing Chris's behavior and encouraging to better himself, which would involve work, which Chris fears and despises.

Bob had reportedly explained to him that he had taken care of his [[autistic]] ass for 29 years and so Chris should be more grateful. Chris couldn't give two shits, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Chris would run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seemed to share Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that, or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.<ref name="Prank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</ref>

He would never get past that notion, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref>

==Audio and video appearances==

[[Image:DemonicLumberjack.jpg|thumb|'''The Internet Lumberjack''' in his final form]]
In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself.

* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26 - 0:36 in the news report of Chris's [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the [[Tour of Christian's House|house tour video]], (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Thehell.jpg|"The hell is this crap?"
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2011.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|The epitome of handsome.
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|Notice Chris's discomfort.
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|Bob wouldn't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|Bob: fashion icon.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|When Bob wasn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoyed gardening.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|Bob will haunt your dreams tonight.
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|Calm down Bob, I think you're scaring Snorlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cyMoams7EMw}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2011
| Maker = TheSevenRiders
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute to Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajEN2zrY8cQ}}
| Stardate = 11 September 2011
| Maker = 8x13Wolf
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan - Tribute to Robert Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p48KrSYHkgo}}
| Stardate = 12 September 2011
| Maker = OVRFND
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = RIP Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tyoboaDCJ0s}}
| Stardate = 29 September 2011
| Maker = furnacewoodsband
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sources==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Virginia

2012-02-13T04:35:45Z

Barry:

{{Disambiguation}}

'''Virginia''' may refer to:

*'''[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]]''', [[Chris's]] middle-school teacher.
*'''[[University of Virginia]]'''
*'''[[Chris's homes|Virginia]]''', the Commonwealth where [[Chris]] lives. It is [[Virginia is for Virgins|for virgins]].

Talk:Rocky Shoemaker

2011-12-12T20:11:39Z

Barry: /* Photos */

== RAEP ==

Does anyone have that chatlog where Chris came in IRC as a "troll", dropping not-so-subtle hints about his desire to "force himself upon his authority figures" AKA Rocky. [[User:Virusys|Virusys]] 05:02, 7 September 2009 (CEST)

well, that was easy. FRONT PAGE LOLOLOLOLOL
http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/IRC_(23_July_2009)
[[user:larrykoopa13|larrykoopa13]] 8:48, 4 October 2009 (CST)

*Citation is definitely needed for "Rocky is aware of Chris' intention to rape her" [[User:Nullity|Nullity]]

This woman is a mystery to me. I wonder why Chris listens to her up to some point and not to the rest of the world and why she supports him at all. Is she in any way attractive to him? A target for his Love/Fuck Quest? Are there any other sources where Chris mentions Rocky? --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 11:31, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*It's the same reason Chris listens to anyone on some points but not others - Chris listens to what he wants to hear and blocks out anything unpleasant (read: the truth). She supports him because that's her job - a counselor usually doesn't tell their client "You're a sick piece of shit" no matter how true it is, and even if they think it, they don't word it that way. I think she's middle aged or waaaaaaaaaaay past Chris's age range of acceptable women. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:56, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*:So was MLW and he still drew porn of her. Perhaps his desire to "force himself" upon authority figures removes all of his sexual conditions, e.g. for age and appearance, which makes all those "Chris wants to screw his mom" projections all the more horrifyingly possible. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 22:29, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*:: NOOOO! The mental images! Anyway, I'd expect a halfway decent counsellor to at least discuss, if not confront him with, behaviour that isn't acceptable. That's what I would do at least. If my client would come to me smelling like something died, I would let him know and expect him to do something about it if he wanted to visit regularly. (true story btw) Since you know what happens when white knights try to diplomatically talk some sense into him, would that mean that Rocky never tried anything of the sort? Running interference with trolling plots doesn't seem nearly as important or obvious as telling him to shower regularly. Or do I get the wrong idea about what kind of counsellor Rocky is? If you want I can add a piece to the article discussing this. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 09:58, 9 October 2009 (CEST)

== Quitting the internet ==

Perhaps we should add a section about Rocky's determination to make Chris quit the internet forever. His [[C-Ya Later]] video definitely seems like Chris is being influenced into saying that he is quitting the internet, and it's likely that Rocky told Chris to delete the videos wherein Chris begs the Wallflower to come back to him and his disapproval of abstinence. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:24, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
*That is one big assumption that would influence people's perspective of Rocky. That's too big of an assumption to make. Furthermore, there's a lot of other factors. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*Rocky is the prime suspect. I suspect his orders were "DO NOT MENTION TROLLS IN ANY VIDEOS"--F ABSTINENCE made mention of Mao and so Rocky had him delete it. But I think Wallflower told Chris to delete all videos where he mentioned her--Chris, being a lazy fuck, only deleted the video where he put her penname in the title and not the ones where he used her actual name.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:42, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*No, I'm telling you guys are wrong. Trust me on this one. You're giving too much credit to Rocky when there's a lot of forces involved. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's new CWCipedia quote (URGENT) ==

{{quote|Surprises always come up at one time or another, so expect the unexpected.
With that, I give little regards to the people who have proven themselves to be nothin' but a bunch of immature pranksters. Your mockery webpages/sites/ads/words/images all may as well evaporate back to nothing, because I'm Not Giving Them Attention At All.
'''I am finding peace off of the internet.'''}}

That's it. Rocky definitely has something to do with this, and whatever it's doing, it's making Chris slowly disappear from the internet.

I direct you all to [[User:MoarLurk/MoarRambles#Sonichu 11 plan|this]]. Effective immediately, this plan should go on, especially because Alec made this image:

[[Image:Sonichu 11 Teaser.jpg|thumb|center]]

[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 04:07, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:It appears the plan is definitely underway. Excellent. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:14, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Please point out the signs, I only made up that plan after Alec put that up. Also, Chris isn't slowly disappearing, he's the same idiot he's always been and I know that that idiot will rage if we just push him a little more. His pretend-fight with Clyde in that one video is a fairly accurate example of how his rage works--he starts by acting like it's not having any effect, then becomes gradually annoyed as the insults escalate, until finally one pushes him over the edge and he starts churning out rage videos. Bonus points if we get him to make a video--Rocky may be monitoring his channel and if he makes a video directed at us she'll probably see it and discover that Chris disobeyed her order. Thus, we've sent our message to her--fuck off our manchild.
::*True... when he discovered the ED page, he lasted almost a year from [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|this video]] to [[CWC's Second Message|this one]], where he released his bottled up tard rage and coined pedofork. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 04:41, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
::*You guys give Rocky too much credit. Seriously, to the best of my knowledge, she has nothing to do with this or if she does she has little part. Believe it or not, Chris is capable of learning and he's like the retarded mouse who eventually learns that it's not a bad idea to touch the shocked cheese. However, he'll forget and touch the cheese again.
:::All in good time, gentlemen, all in good time things will play out.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:15, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
::::Still though, we don't want to lose our favourite manchild. We will want to get him back proper ASAP. Thats why we have the new ads and thats why we are debating tactics to get him to return. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:32, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:::: I was going to call Chris tomorrow. I tried today but couldn't get through, I'll give it another crack tho and see if I can make it work. I'm about to go to bed, but I'll check this thread before I call him tomorrow; do we want me to mention the possibility that the webmaster might have to turn over the site to Alec because it's not making any money? If so, leave a few notes about what you want me to say and I'll mention them. If not, lemme know too and I won't mention it. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]]
:::: Updating a dead topic. I suggest waiting until a few days before the end of the month. At that point, Sysop will send Chris an email telling him that due to his inactivity, the other claimant to the Sonichu Copyright will gain partial control of the site if he fails to upload a set number of pages before the month is over. Said other claimant will also be able to allow in whoever he or she wants. He'll probably miss the email and lose some control over the website. Giving Alec an account would be brilliant, of course.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:29, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

==Faggotry==
Some low-functioning autistic recently threatened Rocky with death unless she got Chris to create more videos, which she evidently did not respond to. As a result, /cwc/ is pissed off, PVCC is (I assume, I can't get in) pissed off, and faggotry is abounding. My question is: Is this relevant enough to put into the article, or just ignore it? (dammit, I finally forgot to sign a post)[[User:WarOfTheBees|WarOfTheBees]] 20:15, 4 June 2010 (UTC)
* 'til Chris gets involved (Either by making videos or commenting on it) probably not. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 17:54, 15 June 2010 (UTC)

== Contact info ==

Due to the fact that retards have been making death threats to Rocky, we will not host her contact information here. Anybody that reposts the information will be banned. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 09:49, 12 August 2010 (PDT)

== Rocky Supports LBGT Rights ==

I got bored and googled Rocky's name. I found [http://www.agla.org/news.phtml?item_id=246 this] Rocky supports gay rights. Is this important to this page? --[[User:Darkhorse816|Darkhorse816]] 18:34, 5 March 2011 (PST)

* A sentence at best. Chris's church already has a disclaimer on it's site that say's it gay-affirming, so it only makes sense that their pastor is too. --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 19:20, 5 March 2011 (PST)

== Photos ==

I sure hope there's a better reason for removing the irl photos from this and the [[Mary Lee Walsh]] articles besides "not needed". --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 10:38, 12 December 2011 (PST)
:Really though, I don't think they're necessary to understand how they influence Chris. For fuck's sake, MLW could have pressed charges on Chris but made him get help and even let him back in. Rocky is no saint but she's one of the more sympathetic characters. Although I'm not a moralfag, I'd like to respect their privacy, especially for putting up with such a terrible person. Besides, this is a Wiki about Chris, not about anyone. Unless it's absolutely necessary to understanding Chris, I think we should leave their real-life identities out of it. [[User:Barry|Barry]] 12:11, 12 December 2011 (PST)

Talk:Rocky Shoemaker

2011-12-12T20:11:09Z

Barry: /* Photos */

== RAEP ==

Does anyone have that chatlog where Chris came in IRC as a "troll", dropping not-so-subtle hints about his desire to "force himself upon his authority figures" AKA Rocky. [[User:Virusys|Virusys]] 05:02, 7 September 2009 (CEST)

well, that was easy. FRONT PAGE LOLOLOLOLOL
http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/IRC_(23_July_2009)
[[user:larrykoopa13|larrykoopa13]] 8:48, 4 October 2009 (CST)

*Citation is definitely needed for "Rocky is aware of Chris' intention to rape her" [[User:Nullity|Nullity]]

This woman is a mystery to me. I wonder why Chris listens to her up to some point and not to the rest of the world and why she supports him at all. Is she in any way attractive to him? A target for his Love/Fuck Quest? Are there any other sources where Chris mentions Rocky? --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 11:31, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*It's the same reason Chris listens to anyone on some points but not others - Chris listens to what he wants to hear and blocks out anything unpleasant (read: the truth). She supports him because that's her job - a counselor usually doesn't tell their client "You're a sick piece of shit" no matter how true it is, and even if they think it, they don't word it that way. I think she's middle aged or waaaaaaaaaaay past Chris's age range of acceptable women. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:56, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*:So was MLW and he still drew porn of her. Perhaps his desire to "force himself" upon authority figures removes all of his sexual conditions, e.g. for age and appearance, which makes all those "Chris wants to screw his mom" projections all the more horrifyingly possible. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 22:29, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*:: NOOOO! The mental images! Anyway, I'd expect a halfway decent counsellor to at least discuss, if not confront him with, behaviour that isn't acceptable. That's what I would do at least. If my client would come to me smelling like something died, I would let him know and expect him to do something about it if he wanted to visit regularly. (true story btw) Since you know what happens when white knights try to diplomatically talk some sense into him, would that mean that Rocky never tried anything of the sort? Running interference with trolling plots doesn't seem nearly as important or obvious as telling him to shower regularly. Or do I get the wrong idea about what kind of counsellor Rocky is? If you want I can add a piece to the article discussing this. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 09:58, 9 October 2009 (CEST)

== Quitting the internet ==

Perhaps we should add a section about Rocky's determination to make Chris quit the internet forever. His [[C-Ya Later]] video definitely seems like Chris is being influenced into saying that he is quitting the internet, and it's likely that Rocky told Chris to delete the videos wherein Chris begs the Wallflower to come back to him and his disapproval of abstinence. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:24, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
*That is one big assumption that would influence people's perspective of Rocky. That's too big of an assumption to make. Furthermore, there's a lot of other factors. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*Rocky is the prime suspect. I suspect his orders were "DO NOT MENTION TROLLS IN ANY VIDEOS"--F ABSTINENCE made mention of Mao and so Rocky had him delete it. But I think Wallflower told Chris to delete all videos where he mentioned her--Chris, being a lazy fuck, only deleted the video where he put her penname in the title and not the ones where he used her actual name.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:42, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*No, I'm telling you guys are wrong. Trust me on this one. You're giving too much credit to Rocky when there's a lot of forces involved. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's new CWCipedia quote (URGENT) ==

{{quote|Surprises always come up at one time or another, so expect the unexpected.
With that, I give little regards to the people who have proven themselves to be nothin' but a bunch of immature pranksters. Your mockery webpages/sites/ads/words/images all may as well evaporate back to nothing, because I'm Not Giving Them Attention At All.
'''I am finding peace off of the internet.'''}}

That's it. Rocky definitely has something to do with this, and whatever it's doing, it's making Chris slowly disappear from the internet.

I direct you all to [[User:MoarLurk/MoarRambles#Sonichu 11 plan|this]]. Effective immediately, this plan should go on, especially because Alec made this image:

[[Image:Sonichu 11 Teaser.jpg|thumb|center]]

[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 04:07, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:It appears the plan is definitely underway. Excellent. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:14, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Please point out the signs, I only made up that plan after Alec put that up. Also, Chris isn't slowly disappearing, he's the same idiot he's always been and I know that that idiot will rage if we just push him a little more. His pretend-fight with Clyde in that one video is a fairly accurate example of how his rage works--he starts by acting like it's not having any effect, then becomes gradually annoyed as the insults escalate, until finally one pushes him over the edge and he starts churning out rage videos. Bonus points if we get him to make a video--Rocky may be monitoring his channel and if he makes a video directed at us she'll probably see it and discover that Chris disobeyed her order. Thus, we've sent our message to her--fuck off our manchild.
::*True... when he discovered the ED page, he lasted almost a year from [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|this video]] to [[CWC's Second Message|this one]], where he released his bottled up tard rage and coined pedofork. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 04:41, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
::*You guys give Rocky too much credit. Seriously, to the best of my knowledge, she has nothing to do with this or if she does she has little part. Believe it or not, Chris is capable of learning and he's like the retarded mouse who eventually learns that it's not a bad idea to touch the shocked cheese. However, he'll forget and touch the cheese again.
:::All in good time, gentlemen, all in good time things will play out.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:15, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
::::Still though, we don't want to lose our favourite manchild. We will want to get him back proper ASAP. Thats why we have the new ads and thats why we are debating tactics to get him to return. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:32, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:::: I was going to call Chris tomorrow. I tried today but couldn't get through, I'll give it another crack tho and see if I can make it work. I'm about to go to bed, but I'll check this thread before I call him tomorrow; do we want me to mention the possibility that the webmaster might have to turn over the site to Alec because it's not making any money? If so, leave a few notes about what you want me to say and I'll mention them. If not, lemme know too and I won't mention it. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]]
:::: Updating a dead topic. I suggest waiting until a few days before the end of the month. At that point, Sysop will send Chris an email telling him that due to his inactivity, the other claimant to the Sonichu Copyright will gain partial control of the site if he fails to upload a set number of pages before the month is over. Said other claimant will also be able to allow in whoever he or she wants. He'll probably miss the email and lose some control over the website. Giving Alec an account would be brilliant, of course.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:29, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

==Faggotry==
Some low-functioning autistic recently threatened Rocky with death unless she got Chris to create more videos, which she evidently did not respond to. As a result, /cwc/ is pissed off, PVCC is (I assume, I can't get in) pissed off, and faggotry is abounding. My question is: Is this relevant enough to put into the article, or just ignore it? (dammit, I finally forgot to sign a post)[[User:WarOfTheBees|WarOfTheBees]] 20:15, 4 June 2010 (UTC)
* 'til Chris gets involved (Either by making videos or commenting on it) probably not. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 17:54, 15 June 2010 (UTC)

== Contact info ==

Due to the fact that retards have been making death threats to Rocky, we will not host her contact information here. Anybody that reposts the information will be banned. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 09:49, 12 August 2010 (PDT)

== Rocky Supports LBGT Rights ==

I got bored and googled Rocky's name. I found [http://www.agla.org/news.phtml?item_id=246 this] Rocky supports gay rights. Is this important to this page? --[[User:Darkhorse816|Darkhorse816]] 18:34, 5 March 2011 (PST)

* A sentence at best. Chris's church already has a disclaimer on it's site that say's it gay-affirming, so it only makes sense that their pastor is too. --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 19:20, 5 March 2011 (PST)

== Photos ==

I sure hope there's a better reason for removing the irl photos from this and the [[Mary Lee Walsh]] articles besides "not needed". --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 10:38, 12 December 2011 (PST)
:Really though, I don't think they're necessary to understand how they influence Chris. For fuck's sake, MLW could have pressed charges on Chris but made him get help and even let him back in. Rocky is no saint but she's one of the more sympathetic characters. Although I'm not a moralfag, I'd like to respect their privacy, especially for putting up with such a terrible person. Besides, this is a Wiki about Chris, not about anyone. Unless it's absolutely necessary to understanding, I think we should leave their real-life identities out of it. [[User:Barry|Barry]] 12:11, 12 December 2011 (PST)

Mary Lee Walsh

2011-12-12T17:24:19Z

Barry:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|You're not gonna get a [[Girlfriend]], this way or any way.|Mary, as quoted by Chris.<ref>[[Chris emails 2007]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|Enough OLD [[Chris and anger|angst]] against the grey-haired witch-devil, THAT I'VE PUT LONG BEHIND ME...|Chris, lying, in November 2007.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Sonichu07-P38.jpg|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh, as she appears in the [[comic]] (and in [[CWCipedia]]). Chris draws her tits almost as big as his fans do.]]

'''Mary Lee Walsh''' is a proto-[[troll]] who thwarted [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] by ripping up his [[Attraction Sign]] and suspending him from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. She is one of the most important people in Chris's history, as she is one of the few people who saw through Chris's [[autistic]] bullshit and tried to make him act like a normal human being.

The resulting conflict between Chris and Mary Lee affected Chris so profoundly that she became the sole focus of many early ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Sub-Episodes]]. Even to this day, she is still the one of the chief villains in the ''Sonichu'' series, a status that even [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] could never match. As such, she is revered and cherished among trolls for her actions, both in real life, and in ''Sonichu'' [[fan]] fiction. All hail the Dean!

By early [[2009]], Chris had begun to express a desire for reconciliation with Walsh, beginning with his [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] of the fictional Mary's name to the slightly less defamatory '''Slaweel Ryam'''. For the next several months Chris made conciliatory gestures, including a drawing sent to her house, to which she responded with a legal summons. Since then, Chris has accepted that Walsh will never be able to truly earn his forgiveness.

==Mary Lee Walsh in real life==
Walsh is the Dean of Student Affairs at the PVCC and a member of the [[Virginia]] Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance (srsly<ref>[http://www.vadv.org/secGetHelp/Directory%20of%20Services/campusprgms_p-z.html]</ref>). In the past, Chris had been scolded by her for passing around photocopies of his ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' newsletter, and she finally delivered the crushing blow when Chris was loitering with his usual [[sign|attraction sign]]. [[Chris and Reality|According to Chris]] Walsh tore down his sign and told him that he would never get a girlfriend this way, or indeed at all.

Chris, being the narcissist he is, disregarded her warnings and continued to place ads for his "love quest" all over the PVCC campus. Walsh, most likely pissed off that this retard kept defying her authority, took Chris to her office to discuss the situation with him. After what Chris described as being "talked down...to RUDELY AND HOARSELY," he [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attacked]] her in a fit of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]]. This resulted in a year-long expulsion from PVCC. He was forced to take [[anger]] management classes and get psychiatric help before he was readmitted.<ref name="wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|User:ChrisChanSonichu]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails#Chris got his degree for Cwcville|Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

===Soul-crusher===

{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did [[autism|the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of]], I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE [[Gal-pal|FEMALE COMPANION]]", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]], 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or [[Black]] impersonating [[Jerkops|JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that [[Love]] Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!]]" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[jerks]] of the [[Greene County]] School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank [[GodJesus|God]] for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}

===Emails with Mary===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 1:22 PM''' 
'''To: mwalsh@pvcc.edu''' 
'''Subject: Hi again...'''

Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

-I will never hang notes on the wall again. 
-I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan. 
-I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my scale of Respect each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect). 

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.
</div>
 
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: Mary Lee Walsh <mwalsh@pvcc.edu>''' 
'''To: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''Sent: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 8:54 am''' 
'''Subject: RE: Hi again...'''

Christian:
Susan Hannifan and I will be able to meet with you on Monday February 9th in my office at 3:00 p.m. I do not have any time this week that works with all of our schedules, so it will have to be next Monday. I normally send students notice of appointments by mail, but you have asked that I correspond to you through email. It is necessary that this meeting take place, so if Monday is not convenient for you please let me know and we will set a time for Wednesday.</div>
 
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''To: Virginia_Sanford@ccpsnet.net''' 
'''Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 3:32:50 PM Eastern Standard Time''' 
'''Subject: Re: Hello'''

Hey, Mrs. Sanford (or should I say Ginny or [[Virginia]] ), I am delighted to hear from you as well. And It is also good to know that you are still residing at that address. The [[DVD]] is under production, to be completed a few days after February 24, [[2007]] (my 25th Birthday...Yay).

You may be able to help me in a portion of it now; there will be a [[Slideshow]] (projected from my [[PlayStation Portable]]) featuring not only pics of me growing up, but the friends, teachers and relatives I've known and remembered (either from heart, like yourself, as well as yearbook signatures). Anyway, do you remember from the ol' class, Sarah and Micha (the blonde girl with glasses, and the slow-talking african american who Ms. Eckel told over and over [[Hypocrisy|to get his dad to teach him how to shave]])? I remembered both of them from heart, but unfortunately I don't remember their last names, so it's harder to find them in the yearbooks; could you tell me their last names, please?

As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation[sic] that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest. The Dean of Student Serveces[sic], Mary Lee Walsh came out and tore my sign up right in front of me, and said, "You're not gonna get a Girlfriend this way or any way." That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".

But it has a happy ending; in Mid-[[2005]], when I've started playing the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] TCG, I met [[Megan|this girl]] who upon numerous conversations, art-sharing and secret confidence, I've grown fond of, and my Heart and Soul Recovered from the Serious Emotional and Physical Pain I've endured. Although she's not intrested[sic] in a serious relationship, I still am fond of her, and I'm hoping that she may have a change of heart.

You may learn more about what had happened to me from the Sub-Episodes in my "Sonichu" Comic Book, which I have the legable [''sic''] images uploaded onto my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]; those Sub-Episodes are based on my Real-Life Events. *[[sigh]]*

Well, that's about it for now; I hope you do well as well. And I will make that DVD copy for you after I've finalized the master copy. Please tell the remaing[sic] faculty who are still working at Providence that I wish them the best as well. I still remember Mrs. Rogers (my ol' computer teacher) when she played as Woodstock in the [[1990s#1996|1996]] "Snoopy" play; that was just fun and cute. :)

Take care;
Christian Weston Chandler, A.K.A. (nickname) Chris Chan.
</div>

==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu''==
[[Image:MachPunch.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]][[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Despite the fact that Chris hates Mary Lee Walsh, this didn't stop him from picking up his markers and making hideous porn of her.]]
Because of all the [[stress]] Mary Lee Walsh caused, Chris obsessed over his HEART-SHATTERING defeat and had to re-invent the entire scenario so that he came out as the victor. Chris began to turn her into a villain in his mind, envisioning himself as a conquering hero. Walsh begins to appear in a lot of Chris's works as the ever-present antagonist opposing his [[Love Quest]].

{{quote|After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard[sic] of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkop]]s, and the Notorious [[Count Graduon]] trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.|Chris, failing to remember that the comic series was supposed to be about Sonichu, not him}}

In the comics, Walsh appears as a literal witch, complete with a broomstick, sinister grin and pitchfork. In a witty [[parody]], she is the leader of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], or PVCC. She is motivated by a hatred of true love and people who seek it, making her a fitting adversary for the heartsick Chris and the deeply monogamous Sonichu. As the "witch of hearts," Walsh's broader goal is to wage war against love itself, although her only real tactic is send [[jerkops]] into [[CWCville]] to beat up anyone engaging in romance. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself.

Mary's first appearances in the comics are in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], via a brief preview and several short comic strips that don't formally introduce her; her formal debut in the canon is in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. Curiously, Chris and Mary are already bitter enemies, and Chris never explains the exact source of their hostility beyond stating that she once shattered his heart and she is frustrated by his dogged persistence in searching for love. It is, however, made immediately clear that their feud has become intensely personal; both characters are fully prepared to fight to the death.

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] Chris ties together the ancient evil of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] with his own petty grudges by teaming Mary with [[Count Graduon]]. Imprisoned in a magical scepter, Graduon's power is wielded by Walsh for much of the series. Together, Graduon and Walsh seem to represent all of Chris's misgivings about adult life--the trauma of graduating his beloved [[high school]] and the stress of his collegiate career. However, in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] Chris also gains the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], escalating the battle between a chubby virgin and a old lady to an epic struggle between a ridiculous Sonic recolor and an old lady with a scepter.

During her reign of terror Walsh threatened the city of CWCville on multiple occasions. In ''Sonichu'' #2, she and Graduon create a golem to stomp the city. Much of the action in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] involves Chris fending off Walsh's agents, until he and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] finally storm PVCC and liberate the college from her evil. (Mary simply relocates to [[Menchi-Nasu High]] to establish a new base of operations.) In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] she floods the town with her army of [[Jerkops]] to stage a coup against Chris and his loyal police force. When this plan begins to collapse she and Graduon attempt to trap Chris in a [[Dark Mirror Hole]], but are only successful in ensnaring his Crystal. When Chris later became stuck in the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] , Mary seized the opportunity and prepared to attack CWCville in her most audacious invasion yet, laying siege with vast armies of [[Transformers|Decepticlones]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and causing untold damage before being defeated by Sonichu. Her evil was finally put to an end in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] when Chris used the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] to become [[Collosal Chris-Chan]]. He then destroyed Graduon's scepter and easily overpowered her, leaving her paralyzed before sending her to prison.

A consistent theme in Mary's story arc is she is to blame for everything. Just as, in real life, Chris believed that Walsh was somehow the singular author of all his misfortunes, in the comics Mary really is the one pulling all the strings. Virtually all of her Jerkops are simply victims of brainwashing. Many of her other followers show the potential for good, but she herself is beyond redemption. Even Count Graduon finds her to be selfish and wicked, thinking only of her petty squabbles with Chris and never about helping him get free from his scepter.

===Renaming and retcons===
[[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|Anyone but Hslaw Eel Yram!]]

As a result of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], many characters based on real-life figures were renamed. In a remarkable display of subtlety, Mary Lee Walsh became '''"Slaweel Ryam"''' or '''"Slaweel the Witch"'''. This is very subtle - as one can see, the name is not ''entirely'' backwards, and there are letters missing! No one will figure this out - especially when the notice regarding the name change, with old and new names, was posted prominently on the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] front page. Walsh being one of the primary villains in both the comic and real life, Chris obviously didn't want to change the name to an entirely unrecognizable form (that would require originality, which Chris obviously lacks). The name seems to be an evolution of '''"Hslaw Eel Yram"''', which was Chris's version of MLW in his custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards: in all likelihood, he had only used the "reverse code" as a means to insult Mary with the card without fear of getting in trouble if someone saw said card.

In [[August 2009]], Chris put up a [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys page on CWCipedia entitled 'TwoMarys'] where he tried to explain the retconning of Mary Lee Walsh's name to Slaweel Ryam. Basically, the evil Mary Lee Walsh had been Slaweel all along, except Slaweel changed her name from Mary Lee Walsh to Slaweel Ryam later on, while the ''real'' Mary was innocent the whole time. This of course makes [[List of Chris's lies|absolutely no sense]] as Chris has changed ''every'' instance of the "evil" Mary's name to Slaweel in the most recent edits of his comics, even during her introduction in ''Sonichu'' #0 where her character is introduced as "Slaweel the Witch" and not Mary Lee Walsh. Chris has essentially created a paradox in his comic's timeline - he's made a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|comic]] where Slaweel, caught by Chris and the police, apologizes to Mary for ruining her good name, but the way he's retconned it Slaweel [[Fail|hasn't really had a chance to ruin Mary's name in the first place]]. Another glaring contradiction is that Slaweel says in the apology comic that she's ''"sorry for using [Mary's] name in vain and when I constructed P.V.C.Citizens, and made [Mary] look a fool for about six years"'' but on the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys 'TwoMarys' page], this caption appears below a picture of Slaweel Ryam:

{{quote|This Mary later changed her name to Slaweel Ryam, and she was creating witch brew during night hours and sharing them illegally with the bums outside of the building; she was fired from PVCC '''then went on to build PVCCitizens'''.|Chris, demonstrating his inability to create a cohesive plot.}}

==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Soul Calibur''==
{{main|Soul Calibur}}

It is debatable whether or not Chris ever attempted to physically harm Mary Lee Walsh, but in a video he uploaded to [[YouTube]], Chris lives out his fantasy of beating the tar out of Mrs. Walsh. Chris created himself and many other real life friends and enemies in the [[video game]] ''Soul Calibur III'', so that he could take out his pent up [[Virgin with rage|rage]] in the most disturbing, passive-aggressive manner possible. [[Fail|It should be noted that Chris is terrible at ''Soul Calibur'', and appears to struggle with defeating an AI-controlled Mary Lee Walsh on the easiest setting.]]

==Possible reconciliation==
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Notice that Chris isn't sorry for the shit he did to warrant her anger, only that he let someone with her name run around. And why bother having two separate Mary Lee Walshes if he made her Slaweel?]]

Beyond his efforts to retcon the fictional Mary, Chris began reexamining Mary's value to society by describing her good works on CWCipedia to distinguish her from "Slaweel":

{{quote|This Mary replaced the previous one in mid-2000; she has done a good job with her role as Dean of Student Services. She is Currently and To Be Respected with Open Kindness and Prosperity from ALL the Piedmont Virginia Commuinity College Students, Peers and Employees.|Chris, CWCipedia<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys</ref>}}

The article rambles on, strongly suggesting he used a quick Google search for "research", detailing this Mary's many achievements and services to the Piedmont Virginia Community College. However, the whole piece carries an insincere tone, suggesting Chris was compelled to recognize Mary as a [[reality|real person]] as some sort of therapeutic measure. Keep in mind, however, that he doesn't acknowledge that the ''real woman'' he interacted with wasn't a horned-hat wearing witch; simply that this Mary Lee Walsh was replaced (in the ''real world'') by a good duplicate. In a very sad way, Chris seems to find it easier to rewrite reality than his own fantasy world.

Mary was named on the CWCipedia Chris's first "Woman of The (ANY) Month to Respect with Authority and Kindness" for the month of August.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Christian_Says</ref>

In his edited version of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, he clarifies that he forgave Mary Lee Walsh for her "past misdeeds" (even though Chris himself was entirely at fault in all of their encounters). According to his edits, he also hand-delivered a framed copy of his "apology" to her office, and she thanked him by telling his parents not to let their retard son on her campus anymore.

Apparently, Mary didn't give a shit and Chris was crushed.

{{quote|Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|Chris, Mailbag 26<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>}}

==[[:Category:Mary_Lee_Walsh|Fan art]]==
[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

In Chris's artwork, Mary Lee Walsh has long gray hair and wears a golden helmet with red horns on it. However, Chris being Chris, he would often neglect to draw her hair (and her fingers, and her feet, and her nose...) at all. In the early days of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page it was inferred that Walsh's helmet was in fact a blonde bob cut, and the horns were growing out of her head like those of a devil. Additionally, once it became clear that Chris was viewing the page it became fashionable to mess with him by depicting Mary (whom he despised) as a sexy cartoon girl (which he was sure to fap to). As a result, the most influential depictions of Mary have been Rule 34 fan art, depicting her as a voluptuous blonde with devil horns (and occasionally a tail), wearing (at most) a skimpy purple miniskirt and thigh-high boots.
{{clear}}
{{collapsible
|Here be DAT ASS. Mostly NSFW.
|<gallery perrow=4>
Image:126473378631.JPG
Image:12670593995.JPG
Image:127128115082.jpg
Image:184947 - Chris-chan Jerkops ROSECHU Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG
Image:204421 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.jpg
Image:37820426 mary lee walsh sonichu.jpg
Image:45422 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG
Image:Cc5.jpg
Image:E6224fea4f4247159177c5f48e077b17.jpg
Image:Lesath-Walsh.png
Image:Makeitup.png
Image:Mary Lee Walsh and her world by Plombard.jpg
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by churippu.JPG
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by judassnogger.JPG
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by The Best Sappho.jpg
Image:Mary Lee Walsh Vore by Metalforever.jpg
Image:Mary Xmas by Scarlet Rose.jpg
Image:Maryleewalsh.jpg
Image:Mlw.png
Image:MLW attacks by Plombard.jpg
Image:MLWsis.png
Image:Mlwsonichu34.png
Image:Mlwsonichu342.png
Image:SF page 18 by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu by Plombard.jpg
Image:Curse those damn trolls by amazing toaster-d30xau7.jpg
Image:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu fanart Mary Lee Walsh by baddleebadd.jpg
Image:Sonichu VS Mary Lee Walsh.jpg
Image:SonichusiteMary.jpg
Image:Spazkid mary lee walsh.png
Image:The dean in her heaven by Plombard.png
</gallery>}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=TwoMarys}}
{{Fan art}}
*[[Count Graduon]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retroactive continuity in ''Sonichu'']]
*[[Attraction Sign]]

==External links==
*[http://zabukawaii.deviantart.com/art/The-origin-of-Slaweel-146885649 Fanfiction: The origin of Slaweel]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCsZpcTSg0 Harry D and the PVCC girls: "Jerkop Bebob"]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZyH5Y9SpQY Harry D's Live Drawing.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8dAntFOZxg CWC Sketch- MLW Pt 1]

{{Sonichu}}
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Walsh, Mary Lee}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Rocky Shoemaker

2011-12-12T17:22:51Z

Barry: not needed

{{quote|Rocky offers me advice for most general things for counsoling [sic]. I can't say all of the things she has helped me with off of the top of my head, aside from the recent thinking of myself as [[retarded]]|Chris explains how Rocky helps him<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 22]]</ref>}}

{{Quote|She's a troll herself. If she was really trying to help Chris, she could help Barb and Bob as well. But she didn't. Her priority has always been to pursue trolls in lieu of helping Chris. She had this motivation from day one. "I'm trolling you back" pretty much sums up Rocky.|[[Ivy]]'s view<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>}}

'''Rochelle "Rocky" Shoemaker''' is a pastoral counselor (actual title - "Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries") at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], who advised [[Chris]] on several matters, going as far back as the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

==Biography==
In the year of Our Lord [[2009]], she brought about the end of the [[Ivy]] Saga, by pushing Chris to go to the police about Ivy. This wasn't the first time she wanted to call the cops, either - [[Julie]] and [[PandaHalo]] have both incurred her wrath in the past.

The last straw came in the form of [[Joshua Martinez]], aka [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who tried to swindle some money out of Chris by trading him a [[PSP]]. After that, Shoemaker made [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barb]] contact the cops. The agreement was that the cops would only be involved in the Joshua matters, as they were dealing with the trolls on their own terms. However, Rocky blindsided Bob and Barb and brought up Ivy and the trolls with the cops. She even had them try to find Ivy and even managed to get a background check on her and came up with nothing. <ref>[[Ivy Q&A#The_end]]</ref>

In a [[IRC (23 July 2009)|July 2009 IRC Chat]] Chris, believing that he had entered the chat incognito (although the trolls had in fact instantly seen through his false identity), suggested that the trolls force him to [[Chris and sex|rape]] Rocky. Rocky herself is aware that Chris said this. The fact that she did not kick him out of the church on the spot speaks volumes about her sanity.


==The ultimate white knight?==
Rocky Shoemaker might be the only person in the world who is genuinely concerned about Christian's well-being. Judging by her approval of the [[Love Quest]], it can be inferred that she supports Christian's desire for [[china]].

Despite saving him from the wiles of Joshua Martinez and [[Clyde Cash]], it seems as though Rocky is ineffective at making an impact in Christian's life where it really matters - namely his [[Homos|bigotry]], [[Chris and his Ego|selfishness]], [[Chris and death|total disregard for others]], [[Chris and health|gluttony]], and [[Chris and anger|rage]].

One can usually spot her hand in affairs if Chris begins to display common sense. It is generally believed that she was behind Chris's attempt to quit the internet forever on 21 March 2010, as the video was made on a Sunday. Chris likely meets with her on Thursdays and Sundays, as he suddenly developed basic pattern recognition skills long enough to catch one troll on 29 April and smoke out [[Sydney Contacts|another]] on 1 May (though he may have simply gotten both mixed up with [[Jackie]]).

Chris insists that Rocky is a better counselor than a professional psychologist, and seems to uncritically accept whatever she says.

==Interaction with trolls==

In a monumental display of ill-judgment, Rocky provided a great deal of information about Chris's home life to a troll posing as a court-appointed psychiatrist during [[Rocky Shoemaker call|a phone call]] in the run-up to his scheduled [[28 October 2011|court appearance]] in [[December 2011]]. During this call it was revealed that [[Bob]] had been quarantined for bug bites shortly before his death, and that [[14 Branchland Court]] is so badly infected that Chris is forced to stay in [[Chris's Room|his room]] to avoid being bitten himself.

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[Chris and sex]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Shoemaker, Rocky}}
[[Category:People]]

Template:Timeline

2011-11-10T01:59:54Z

Barry:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''[[CWChronology]]'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
<center>
'''By year:''' 
'''[[Pre-1980]]''' · '''[[1980s]]''' · '''[[1990s]]'''

'''[[2000s]]''' —
[[2000]] ·
[[2001]] ·
[[2002]] ·
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[[2004]] ·
[[2005]] ·
[[2006]] ·
[[2007]] ·
[[2008]] ·
[[2009]]

'''[[2010s]] — '''
[[2010]] ·
''[[2011]]'' ·
''[[2012]]''
 
 
'''By month:''' 
'''[[2009]] — '''
[[January 2009|Jan]] ·
[[February 2009|Feb]] ·
[[March 2009|Mar]] ·
[[April 2009|Apr]] ·
[[May 2009|May]] ·
[[June 2009|June]] ·
[[July 2009|July]] ·
[[August 2009|Aug]] ·
[[September 2009|Sept]] ·
[[October 2009|Oct]] ·
[[November 2009|Nov]] ·
[[December 2009|Dec]]

'''[[2010]] — ''' [[January 2010|Jan]] · [[February 2010|Feb]] · [[March 2010|Mar]] · [[April 2010|Apr]] · [[May 2010|May]] · [[June 2010|June]] · [[July 2010|July]] · [[August 2010|Aug]] · [[September 2010|Sept]] · [[October 2010|Oct]] · [[November 2010|Nov]] · [[December 2010|Dec]]

'''[[2011]] — ''' [[January 2011|Jan]] · [[February 2011|Feb]] · [[March 2011|Mar]] · [[April 2011|Apr]] · [[May 2011|May]] · [[June 2011|June]] · [[July 2011|July]] · [[August 2011|Aug]] · [[September 2011|Sept]] · [[October 2011|Oct]] · [[November 2011|Nov]] · [[December 2011|''Dec'']]

|}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to the [[CWChronology]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

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<includeonly>
{{#ifeq: {{lc:{{{nocat|false}}}}} | false | {{ Namespace detect | main = [[Category:Chronology]] | other = [[Category:Chronology]] }} }}
</includeonly>

November 2011

2011-11-09T20:13:30Z

Barry:

'''November 2011''' will see more fallout from the [[28 October 2011]] incident.

==Events==
*4 November: Chris releases photographs of Michael Snyder from his latest visit to the GAMe PLACe.
*7 November - Chris goes to court to answer charges of trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of an accident. None of the charges are dropped.

{{Timeline}}

Barbara Chandler

2011-11-07T23:58:34Z

Barry: we're not sure what happened

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}

{{quote|I don't need no back talk from someone on the [[Internet]].|Barbara, [[Mumble 2]]}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 70)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office Worker (Ret.)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Appearance==
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref> Barb has no eyebrows in the first picture on this article for some strange reason.
{{clear}}

==Family life==
Barbara is the daughter of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967).<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Her maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]]]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The translation would be "She likes to date guys who curse a lot, and obsesses over them". The relevancy of her partners' vernacular is a little puzzling. He's probably just being sesquipedalian. What he was probably trying to say: "She rolls with scrubs".

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years.

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on June 6th, 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember. |Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on September 6, 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]]<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent state of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> As a result, Chris believes he is so irresistible to women that [[PandaHalo]] would not stop kissing him once she met him.{{cite}} She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas.<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

While having a special needs child is a major [[stress|stressor]] in any marriage, rather than getting genetic counseling and family therapy to cope with raising an autistic child, Chris's parents have gone the old-fashioned route of expecting little to nothing of their son and treating him as an imbecile, with a modern "victim complex" spin, his entire life. This would have been understandable in the days before psychology — like when Bob was growing up — but nowadays it's known that even sufferers of Down's syndrome can lead healthy and fulfilling independent lives if they receive supportive parenting and appropriate professional help.

==Recent health problems==
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans of Sonichu]] have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/> {{clear}}

==Action Mom==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were released on bail, and Chris's hearing took place on 7 November 2011. It is currently unknown what happened during Barb's hearing.

==In the comics==

[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son]]

Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips" in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==Audio appearances==

* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]
* 4 [[February 2009]]: In [[Mumble 2]], Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]], Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[November 2009]]: Toward the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* [[Matthew Noble call]]: In this call, Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.

==Video appearances==

Barbara has only appeared once briefly on video to date, in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Template:Da update

2011-11-07T23:55:04Z

Barry:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*07 [[November 2011|November]]: Chris goes to his [[28 October 2011|court hearing]]. No charges are dropped.
*04 [[November 2011|November]]: Chris releases photographs of [[Michael Snyder]] from his latest visit to [[the GAMe PLACe]].
*28 [[October 2011|October]]: Chris and [[Barbara|his mother]] are [[28 October 2011|arrested for multiple offenses]] at [[the GAMe PLACe]]. They are bailed out two days later.
*18 [[October 2011|October]]: Chris lists a twelve-year-old television set on [[Craigslist]] and expects more than $250 for it.
*24 [[September 2011|September]]: A [[Chris_in_the_media#Slylock_Fox|drawing of Sonichu]] is published in thousands of newspapers thanks to [[wikipedia:Slylock_Fox_%26_Comics_for_Kids|Slylock Fox]].
*12 [[September 2011|September]]: [[Bob]]'s funeral is held at Monticello Memorial Gardens in Charlottesville at 10 a.m.
*06 [[September 2011|September]]: [[Bob]] [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 dies] at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU, surrounded by family and friends.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

User:Barry

2011-11-02T05:20:16Z

Barry:

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:350x;">
{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Armchair Psychologist}}
</div>

I'm pretty new here, so I mostly do small edits, like revising and reorganizing things. I've always been interested in Chris, but I've never really followed him until this year.

Feel free to leave a message on my talk.

Craigslist

2011-11-02T05:08:57Z

Barry: /* The listing */

[[File:CraigslistCWC.PNG|thumb|...Of course he's watching [[Family Guy]].]]

'''Craigslist''' is a website where users can conduct business with others. Since its inception, Craigslist has been very useful in the act of selling [[Toys|goods]], [[Monthly Tugboat|job hunting]], providing [[trollbusters|services]] to others, and in many cases simply trying to [[sex|get some action]] from local hookers. On an online community where he could find a job and possibly a [[sweetheart]], Chris decided to view Craigslist as an opportunity to (try to) bum $250 off of some poor schmuck.

In October of [[2011]], [[Chris]] put up a listing for a rather old, crappy television that was presumably owned by his [[Robert Chandler|late father]], accompanied by some God-awful, low-quality images of it. Although brief, the listing is practically oozing of Chris clichés such as a poor grasp of [[Chris and English|capitalization skills]], [[Naive|no concept]] of [[Chris and Money|how much things cost]] (for reference, the $250 asking price would easily get you a modern 32-inch HDTV from a major retailer like Best Buy), and unnecessary [[Autism|spewing of generic business jargon]]. It should be noted that the television was manufactured in the same month when Chris started to become infatuated with [[Pokémon]].

==The listing==
{{quotebox|1='''Panasonic 32-Inch CT-32G34A Color Television - $250 (Ruckersville, VA)''' 
Date: 2011-10-18, [[Biological Clock|5:09AM]] EDT 

This Panasonic Television has a 32-inch color screen, it [[Chris and English|gives great display]], it comes complete with its matching Remote Control, and it is in excellent working condition.

It is quite the classic optimal television to watch sporting events, [[Mary Poppins|movies]], [[Family Guy|television shows]] and more on. This type of television defined SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, as well as Thanksgiving Football Watching! Excellent Satisfaction Guaranteed.

For further info, or to schedule purchase and pick-up, please call me at
* 434-760-0848.
CASH ONLY, And Up-Front. [[Chris and Reality|$250 or better]] offer; [[Chris and negotiation|NO HAGGLE]].

Thank You and Have a Good Day.}}

==The TV==
*Model # - '''CT-32G34A'''
*Chassis # - '''RP331'''
*Serial # - '''MD92210277'''
*Power Consumption - '''120V'''
*Date Manufactured - '''August [[1999]]'''
*Assembled in [[Spanish|Mexico]]

== Pictures ==
<center>{{Collapsible|Pictures|<gallery>
File:PanasonicTVFamilyGuy.jpg|A classic, optimal show to suit a classic, optimal television.
File:PanasonicTVSpecs1.jpg|Bad photography at work.
File:PanasonicTVSpecs2.jpg|Even worse photography at work.
</gallery>}}
</center>

==External links==

* [http://charlottesville.craigslist.org/ele/2655617137.html The listing for the TV]
[[Category:Websites]]

* [http://www.manualowl.com/p/Panasonic/CT32G34A/Manual/74279 The TV's manual]

October 2011

2011-11-01T08:52:08Z

Barry:

'''October 2011''' was a rather quiet month for Chris. Still possibly mourning his departed [[Bob|father]]. Judging from an attempt to sell an old TV on Craigslist, the Chandlers may have been attempting to sell stuff around the house to get some extra cash. Chris presumably spent the month moping around and playing [[PS3]] games. The [[Calling Out]] saga from [[August 2011|August]] did not continue.

==Events==

*1 October - [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s 70th birthday.
*2 October - In yet another unfortunate involvement with the mainstream media, Chris inadvertently earned himself the [http://www.manboobs.co.uk/submissions/manboob_of_the_month Manboob of the Month Award]
*18 October - Chris lists an old, mid-range CRT [[Television|television]] on [[Craigslist]] for a ludicrous price of $250 "or better offer". In Chris's own [[Autism|unique words]], the television set "DEFINED SUPER BOWL SUNDAY".
*31 October - [[Halloween]]
{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

CWC's Pokésite 1

2011-10-31T03:32:41Z

Barry:

{{quote|CWC's Pokesite in construction!|-Chris, tumbling into the abyss of 90's website cliches}}

[[File:Pokesite1.PNG|thumb|right|The site in question.]]

'''CWC's Pokésite 1''', originally referred to simply as '''CWC's Pokésite''', was a website with news and links on [[Pokémon]] created by [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. It was Chris's first babystep towards his long career of website-making. The page was launched somewhere between April 25 [[1999]] (when the domain was reserved) and July 3 1999 (when Chris got the first replies in his guestbook, from his parents).

The quality of the site is actually relatively good; judging from the source code it appears to be based on a pre-built template from AcmeCity's "HomeBuilder", and was possibly made under adult supervision as a school project, supported by a guestbook entry left by what seems to be a teacher. Chris lost interest in the project quite soon, and by the end of July 1999, it had already been replaced by the much more amateur-looking [[CWC's Pokésite 2]], with its notoriously hand-crafted HTML.

==El PokéSite de RWC==
The site apparently had a Spanish translation, El PokéSite de RWC<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20000520005332/homepages.go.com/~christianchandler/RWCste.htm</ref>. There are, however, no traces left of this page, but this doesn't really matter as his Spanish grammar was probably just as useless then as it is now.

==See Also==
*[[CWC's Pokésite 2]]
*[[Sonichu.net]]

==External Links==
[http://web.archive.org/web/19990902144020/http://pokemon.acmecity.com/james/190/ Archive.org's copy of the site] 
[http://web.archive.org/web/20001021022214/neptune.guestworld.lycos.com/wgb/wgbview.dbm?owner=Starytime The site's guestbook]

==References==
<references />

{{Stub}}

[[Category:Chris's websites]]

File:Pokesite1.PNG

2011-10-31T03:29:35Z

Barry: A small screencap of Chris's first website, CWC's Pokésite.

A small screencap of Chris's first website, CWC's Pokésite.

Talk:Amanda

2011-10-31T03:23:51Z

Barry: /* Redirect */ new section

Perhaps JenkinsJinkies can help us with this a bit more. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:27, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Why even create this page if that's the only thing we know about her? Get some field agents down there, get some pictures, do an interview. Damn, do something... --[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 12:27, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
:Isn't JJ an FA that's working on this case? [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 18:15, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
::Like Clyde said, the best thing is probably to let JenkinsJinkies fill us in on more information as more happens.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 19:26, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

:::I think having a page dedicated to a list of people (broken into YOUNG LADIES and JERKS) who are mean to Chris would be a good idea. Although, I guess it's kind of covered in the trolls section. More like "actual" trolls, "presumed" trolls, and Chrissy's definition of trolls--anyone who's "mean" to him or doesn't agree with him, or is just following their duties while he merrily breaks the law. [[User:DonnieDarko|DonnieDarko, enlargen your world.]]

This article and the Coffee Place article need to change somehow now. The Coffee Place article needs to be documented somewhere and this article probably should just be deleted. Thoughts? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 19:31, 30 January 2011 (PST)
* Nothing seems to have been done in the last few months. I vote delete. --[[User:SilentThunder|SilentThunder]] 22:34, 10 May 2011 (PDT)

*I think Amanda is most likely the same girl who told Chris he was fat in the High School Reunion video.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 20:24, 5 July 2011 (PDT)

*This could be a part of [[Manajerks]] instead. I've been meaning to rewrite that article anyway. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 21:25, 5 July 2011 (PDT)

== Redirect ==

I thought I'd get a consensus before I do anything.

Can we redirect it to [[Burger King]]? I think most of the article is covered there. [[User:Barry|Barry]] 20:23, 30 October 2011 (PDT)

Burger King

2011-10-31T03:21:48Z

Barry: actually

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:King.jpg|thumb|"Robert, thy demise shall be a [[Wikipedia:Whopper|Whopper]]!"]]

'''[[Wikipedia:Burger King|Burger King]]''' is an [[United States of America|American]] chain of fast food restaurants headquartered in Miami, Florida and was [[Bob]]'s restaurant of choice, unlike Chris, who prefers [[McDonald's]], Burger King's competitor.

On occasion, Chris went to Burger King with Bob, which has resulted in a field agent spotting him there. However, it was a forged sighting by Chris himself, revealed in [[Jackie E-mails 3|the third part]] of a correspondence between Jackie and Chris.

==Sighting==
[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|right|Picture taken at the sighting.]]

{{main|Coffee Place}}

On 3 [[July 2010]] a "field agent" spotted Chris at his local Burger King. Bob, infuriated because he had arrived late for a discount on coffee, got into a argument with a part-time manager, Amanda. Eventually, Chris joined with a uproar "so loud, it would have awaken [sic] the dead."

The account in full:

{{quotebox|My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!}}

In reality, the sighting was forged. After creating the forged story, Chris promptly wrote the Coffee Place article, and, taking advantage of this, [[Clyde Cash]] created [[Trollin' Train]] and invited Chris there, if he would pledge allegiance to him, resulting in [[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]]. Also, the tropes of the retarded dad, three child family and the mastermind child may have been taken from a [[Family Guy|certain television show]].

==See also==
*[[McDonald's]] - Chris's preferred fast food hamburger chain.

{{places}}

{{stub}}

[[Category:Places]]

Burger King

2011-10-31T03:19:18Z

Barry:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:King.jpg|thumb|"Robert, thy demise shall be a [[Wikipedia:Whopper|Whopper]]!"]]

'''[[Wikipedia:Burger King|Burger King]]''' is an [[United States of America|American]] chain of fast food restaurants headquartered in Miami, Florida and was [[Bob]]'s restaurant of choice, unlike Chris, who prefers [[McDonald's]], Burger King's competitor.

On occasion, Chris went to Burger King with Bob, which has resulted in a field agent spotting him there. However, it was a forged sighting by Chris himself, revealed in [[Jackie E-mails 3|the third part]] of a correspondence between Jackie and Chris.

==Sighting==
[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|right|Picture taken at the sighting.]]

{{main|Coffee Place}}

On 3 [[July 2010]] a "field agent" spotted Chris at his local Burger King. Bob, infuriated because he had arrived late for a discount on coffee, got into a argument with a part-time manager, [[Amanda]]. Eventually, Chris joined with a uproar "so loud, it would have awaken [sic] the dead."

The account in full:

{{quotebox|My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!}}

In reality, the sighting was forged. After creating the forged story, Chris promptly wrote the Coffee Place article, and, taking advantage of this, [[Clyde Cash]] created [[Trollin' Train]] and invited Chris there, if he would pledge allegiance to him, resulting in [[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]]. Also, the tropes of the retarded dad, three child family and the mastermind child may have been taken from a [[Family Guy|certain television show]].

==See also==
*[[McDonald's]] - Chris's preferred fast food hamburger chain.

{{places}}

{{stub}}

[[Category:Places]]

User talk:IwegalBadnik

2011-10-29T22:36:41Z

Barry: /* Monthly tugboat */ new section

i'm so calling the cops on you nigger --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 09:55, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Sept. 6==
Righto, didn't catch that error. Thanks. [[User:CompyRex|CompyRex]] 20:56, 10 September 2011 (PDT)

== Monthly tugboat ==

Heh, thanks for catching that. [[User:Barry|Barry]] 15:36, 29 October 2011 (PDT)

Monthly tugboat

2011-10-29T18:59:46Z

Barry:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|'''[[Jackie]]:''' that doesnt make sense. why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
'''Chris:''' he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. I don't know. 
'''Jackie:''' thats not my understanding of how God works|From [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]].}}

{{quote|Notice how the lilies grow. They don’t wear themselves out with work, and they don’t spin cloth. But I say to you that even Solomon in all his splendor wasn’t dressed like one of these. If God dresses grass in the field so beautifully, even though it’s alive today and tomorrow it’s thrown into the furnace, how much more will God do for you, you people of weak faith!| Bible (Luke 12:27-29) on Chris and his tugboat}}

[[Image:Monthly Tugboat.jpg|thumb|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWCism|euphemism]] for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.<ref>[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]</ref> Essentially, the U.S. government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments affect their ability to earn a living wage. Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check isn't a need-based welfare check, nor is it meant to replace a paycheck for someone who is unable to work. Chris's disability check is meant to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job (the best he could hold down) and provide him enough money to live on his own{{cite}}. Chris, of course, chooses not to work and mooches off his parents instead, blowing his tugboat on [[video games]]. Unfortunately, this doesn't disqualify him from receiving disability.

Currently, Chris receives $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref> The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], junk food, or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> at the end of one month he had less than three dollars left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red.

Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded "tugboat", because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.<ref>[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]</ref> This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].

Another thing to take into consideration is that while Chris spends a chunk of his social security on American products like McDonald's, Chris spends most of his social security on video games. The problem is his game systems; [[PSP|Sony PSP]], [[Wii|Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii]], and [[PS3|Sony PS3]], are Japan based companies. Yes, these companies have American bases and a very small amount is produced in the U.S., but the majority is produced, developed and imported from Japan. So the money he spends goes to the retailer, which goes to the employees wages and fixed costs of the retailer's expenses that keep it functioning, which will be possibly be spent in America thus be put into the U.S. economy, the rest will given to the foreign company's employees and fixed costs that keep ''them'' functioning, which will be spent in Japan, thus being put back into Japan's economy. However, if Chris was an [[Hexbox|Xbox]] consumer, the majority of it would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft's Xbox is a U.S. based company, with a majority of its products being developed and manufactured in the U.S. and a large majority of it employees being Americans. In the same way buying a car from American brands like GM, Ford, and Chrysler, stimulates the U.S. economy, and buying a foreign car like Honda, BMW, and Kia, doesn't and stimulates ''their'' foreign economies, Chris could help the economy by getting over his irrational hatred of Xbox.

[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|This is true.]]

On the advice of [[Bob Chandler|his dead father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob was totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents.

Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|SSDI]] beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was eighteen, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of their SSDI payments.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligence, ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total [[fail]]ure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. His enabling has caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake china]], [[My Little Pony|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].

If Bob's motivation came from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he keeps unleashing him to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].

In the [[Father Call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous shit rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Kacey's father what he thought he wanted to hear.

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his eighties, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from the American taxpayer. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and Health|extremely unlikely]] that he will live anywhere near that long.

With the recent US economic downturn and debates over the debt limit, President Obama has [http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/178777/20110712/debt-deal-debt-ceiling-obama-social-security-republicans-democrats.htm directly threatened Social Security checks]. Chris is blissfully unaware of the looming threat to his way of life.

==References by Chris==
* The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
* An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]] shine a light on the origin of the term:
{{quote|it's a [[Random-access humor|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink.]] and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Things Chris has ripped off|creative]] [[Autism|thinking]]. :)|Chris, demonstrating mastery of metaphor, naval engineering, and analogy.}}

In one of the [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie chat logs]], he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:

[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded... 
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval. 
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ??? 
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then? 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. 
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know. 
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works
{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day"|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Adult Swim

2011-10-28T16:32:05Z

Barry: derp, accidentally hit save

[[File:Robot_chicken_sonic.jpg|thumb|Chris probably mourned his childhood hero on this Robot Chicken skit]]
'''Adult Swim''' is a late-night programming block on [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], catering primarily to adults age 18-24. Due to [[Chris's]] [[biological clock]], he would stay up late at night and would frequently watch Adult Swim, especially since it catered to two of his chief interests - [[anime]] and [[random-access humor]].

He has also downloaded many episodes of various Adult Swim series through the [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network]] -- almost [[monthly tugboat|$120 worth]], as of fall [[2009]].

Owing to his love of Adult Swim, in [[2009]] Chris was discovered on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim message boards]]. He discussed things ranging from Robot Chicken to his custom [[My Little Pony|ponies]], but later on, the account was hacked by the dirty trolls.

==Harvey Birdman commercial==
:''Main article: [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]''
Chris has always been a fan of Harvey Birdman. So in [[2005]], he entered in a contest, hosted by Cartoon Network. In it, the participant had to to make a commercial for first Harvey Birdman DVD. Needless to say, Chris's commercial was filled with off-topic references about his life issues, similar to his [[Autism Tutorial|his later videos]].

==Moral Orel==
Of interesting note is the show ''[[Wikipedia:Moral Orel|Moral Orel]]'' (which ended in 2008), which is a claymation mainly focused at deconstructing fundamentalism, and the merging of church and state, which is common in the Midwestern United States and Bible Belt. It openly criticizes the blind faith and intolerance of many American Christians, and people like Chris are exactly who they are making fun of.

Chris has stated in the [[Mailbag 35|Mailbag]] that he has watched the show, and said it was "okay". It is likely that all of the jokes and truths go right over his head, even obvious ones such as a character saying "I guess lots of things get misinterpreted and lost in translation" while scratching his head with a Bible. The subtlety and sarcasm is lost on the autistic mind. He probably didn't like the pilot episode which hinted at a homosexual relationship between two characters.

==Other shows==
[[Image:robotchicken.jpg|thumb|Robot Chicken forced to watch Chris home video]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Harvey Birdman|Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil|Lucy: Daughter of the Devil]]
*''[[Futurama]]
*''[[Family Guy]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Robot Chicken|Robot Chicken]]
*''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]
*''[[Wikipedia:12 oz. Mouse|12 oz. Mouse]]''
*''[[Chris's Big Night Out II#Chris Needs Females|The Oblongs]]''
*''[[Officer Keino|Home Movies]]''
*Assorted [[anime]]
*''Tom Goes To The Mayor'' (this is where he stole the idea of having a mayor's office inside a shopping mall)
*''Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!'' (unconfirmed, but likely, as it is made by the same people as ''Tom Goes To The Mayor'' and is full of [[random access humor]])

{{clear}}

==See also==
*[[Chris and television]]
*[[Netflix]]

[[Category:Television shows]]

Adult Swim

2011-10-28T16:31:22Z

Barry:

[[File:Robot_chicken_sonic.jpg|thumb|Chris probably mourned his childhood hero on this Robot Chicken skit]]
'''Adult Swim''' is a late-night programming block on [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], catering primarily to adults age 18-24. Due to [[Chris's]] [[biological clock]], he would stay up late at night and would frequently watch Adult Swim, especially since it catered to two of his chief interests - [[anime]] and [[random-access humor]].

He has also downloaded many episodes of various Adult Swim series through the [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network]] -- almost [[monthly tugboat|$120 worth]], as of fall [[2009]].

Owing to his love of Adult Swim, in [[2009]] Chris was discovered on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim message boards]]. He discussed things ranging from Robot Chicken to his custom [[My Little Pony|ponies]], but later on, the account was hacked by the dirty trolls.

==Harvey Birdman commercial==
:''Main article: [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]''
Chris has always been a fan of Harvey Birdman. So in [[2005]], he entered in a contest, hosted by Cartoon Network. In it, the participant had to to make a commercial for first Harvey Birdman DVD. Needless to say, Chris's commercial was filled with off-topic references about his life issues, similar to his [[Autism Tutorial|his later videos]].

==Moral Orel==
Of interesting note is the show ''[[Wikipedia:Moral Orel|Moral Orel]]'' (which ended in 2008), which is a claymation mainly focused at deconstructing fundamentalism, and the merging of church and state, which is common in the Midwestern United States and Bible Belt. It openly criticizes the blind faith and intolerance of many American Christians, and people like Chris are exactly who they are making fun of.

Chris has stated in the [[Mailbag 35|Mailbag]] that he has watched the show, and said it was "okay". It is likely that all of the jokes and truths go right over his head, even obvious ones such as a character saying "I guess lots of things get misinterpreted and lost in translation" while scratching his head with a Bible. The subtlety and sarcasm is lost on the autistic mind. He probably didn't like the pilot episode which hinted at a homosexual relationship between two characters.

==Other shows==
[[Image:robotchicken.jpg|thumb|Robot Chicken forced to watch Chris home video]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Harvey Birdman|Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil|Lucy: Daughter of the Devil]]
*''[[Futurama]]
*''[[Family Guy]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Robot Chicken|Robot Chicken]]
*''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]
*''[[Wikipedia:12 oz. Mouse|12 oz. Mouse]]''
*''[[Chris's Big Night Out II#Chris Needs Females|The Oblongs]]''
*''[[Officer Keino|Home Movies]]''
*Assorted [[anime]]
*''Tom Goes To The Mayor'' (this is where he stole the idea of having a mayor's office inside a shopping mall)
*''Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!'' (unconfirmed, but likely, as it is made by the same people as ''Tom Goes To The Mayor'' and is full of [[random access humor]])

==See also==
*[[Chris and television]]
*[[Netflix]]

[[Category:Television shows]]

Adult Swim

2011-10-27T19:03:07Z

Barry:

[[File:Robot_chicken_sonic.jpg|thumb|Chris probably mourned his childhood hero on this Robot Chicken skit]]
'''Adult Swim''' is a late-night programming block on [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], catering primarily to adults age 18-24. Due to [[Chris's]] [[biological clock]], he would stay up late at night and would frequently watch Adult Swim, especially since it catered to two of his chief interests - [[anime]] and [[random-access humor]].

He has also downloaded many episodes of various Adult Swim series through the [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network]] -- almost [[monthly tugboat|$120 worth]], as of fall [[2009]].

==Harvey Birdman commercial==
:''Main article: [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
Chris has always been a fan of Harvey Birdman. So in [[2005]], he entered in a contest, hosted by Cartoon Network. In it, the participant had to to make a commercial for first Harvey Birdman DVD. Needless to say, Chris's commercial was filled with off-topic references about his life issues, similar to his [[Autism Tutorial|his later videos]].

==Moral Orel==
Of interesting note is the show ''[[Wikipedia:Moral Orel|Moral Orel]]'' (which ended in 2008), which is a claymation mainly focused at deconstructing fundamentalism, and the merging of church and state, which is common in the Midwestern United States and Bible Belt. It openly criticizes the blind faith and intolerance of many American Christians, and people like Chris are exactly who they are making fun of.

Chris has stated in the [[Mailbag 35|Mailbag]] that he has watched the show, and said it was "okay". It is likely that all of the jokes and truths go right over his head, even obvious ones such as a character saying "I guess lots of things get misinterpreted and lost in translation" while scratching his head with a Bible. The subtlety and sarcasm is lost on the autistic mind. He probably didn't like the pilot episode which hinted at a homosexual relationship between two characters.

==Other shows==
[[Image:robotchicken.jpg|thumb|Robot Chicken forced to watch Chris home video]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Harvey Birdman|Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil|Lucy: Daughter of the Devil]]
*''[[Futurama]]
*''[[Family Guy]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Robot Chicken|Robot Chicken]]
*''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]
*''[[Wikipedia:12 oz. Mouse|12 oz. Mouse]]''
*''[[Chris's Big Night Out II#Chris Needs Females|The Oblongs]]''
*''[[Officer Keino|Home Movies]]''
*Assorted [[anime]]
*''Tom Goes To The Mayor'' (this is where he stole the idea of having a mayor's office inside a shopping mall)
*''Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!'' (unconfirmed, but likely, as it is made by the same people as ''Tom Goes To The Mayor'' and is full of [[random access humor]])

==See also==
*[[Adult Swim posts|Chris's Adult Swim forum posts]]
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]

{{stub}}

LittleBigPlanet

2011-10-27T18:39:54Z

Barry:

{{Articleofthenow}} 
{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|'LittleBiGPlanet; it is a Planet that is Little, it is a Planet that is Big. LittleBiGPlanet.' A motto for the game I made up.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 8|Jackie E-mails #8]]</ref>}}
[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very antithesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is [[Honor Roll|intelligent]], [[Random access humor|witty]], [[Fail|successful]], [[Nudes|handsome]], [[Monthly Tugboat|wealthy]], and [[Attraction Sign|charming]], as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both [[Homos|gay men]], Fry does not engage in [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|self-loathing]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|closet dwelling]].]]

'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (also known as [[Speech impediment|"''Little Pig Blanket''"]] and [[Trollin'_Train#Damn.21_.28Wed_25_Aug_2010_5:42_AM.29|"''LittleFuckPlanet''"]]) is a critically-acclaimed platformer franchise, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]]. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action series which allows players to craft custom levels.

While the first game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[lie|amazing custom levels]]. Chris, being an enthusiastic fan of the game, fancies himself an ''LBP'' spokesmanchild, while failing to realize that neither his reputation nor his promotional activities actually help convince people that ''LBP'' is worth playing.

While Chris was gone from the internet, he purchased ''LittleBigPlanet 2'', and being Chris, he played it extensively. He made just two levels this time, the [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]] and [[Autism Tutorial]].

==Chris and ''LBP''==
[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]
Chris is a huge fan of ''LittleBigPlanet''. He participated in the beta test in the fall of [[2008]], and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When ''LBP'' was released, Chris disappeared from the [[Internet]] for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. The game's main character, "Sackboy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, as well as every single game add-on available in the [[List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads#LittleBigPlanet|PSN Store]].

The biggest reason Chris latched onto ''LittleBigPlanet'' was that it let him make [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu: The Game'']]; no other game in existence was sufficiently idiot-proof for the purpose. Of course, Chris still managed to make somewhat horrific levels and it took until ''LBP 2'' until Chris's output started to look at least somewhat plausible.

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[HEXbox]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for the [[Wii]] and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out, and condemned these vile bastardizations before even finding out if they ''actually'' exist.

Not everything is rosy in Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of ''LittleBigPlanet'' as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also [[F Abstinance#Description|unhappy with the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' DLC]] (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|horrid abominations]] in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how video games work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts.

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by Stephen Fry, a well-known [[homos]]exual and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the ''LBP'' Community==
Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over ''LittleBigPlanet''. It's not surprising that the ''LBP'' community is one of the few online communities Chris has gotten into voluntarily. However, just like in the case of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]] and PS3 boards in general, his personality and antics have not helped him to earn friends there.

Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the the game's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his ''[[Sonichu]]'' levels several weeks later under grounds of "[[Copyright]] Infringement". This was not enough to get him banned, however, and the levels are back in the servers.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the ''LBP'' community at large. See most of his ''LBP'' videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the ''LBP'' community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

===On costumes===
[[File:SonicLBPCostumes.jpg|thumb|The costumes that failed to meet Chris's specifications...]]
[[File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's subsequent bitching]]

Much later, in [[March 2010]], Sony released a DLC pack of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' costumes for ''LBP''. While one would think that something like this would fill the ''Sonic''-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make ''[[Sonichu]]''. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about, and his only demand to game developers is to ask for something that would benefit him alone.

{{quotebox|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.

Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.

Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be seperate Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my [[Rosechu]] Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, [[Women's rights|SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS]].

I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.

Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my [[Cwcipedia]] at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page
PSN Online ID: Sonichu}}

Sony did not respond.

==Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

Chris has created many levels in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his video game achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and [[Chris and camerawork|the videos]]. They're poorly thought-out, not playtested at all before publishing, show laziness and technical incompetence all around and have a mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same minimum-effort approach to ''LBP'' as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris's levels follow the tried-and-true "combine two franchises" technique, and that all of them have been tagged by ''LittleBigPlanet'' players as being "creepy", "weird", "rubbish", and "frustrating".

===''Sonichu'' Level===
[[File:SC9.jpg|thumb|A Sackboy panics as he's almost crushed by a giant wooden Sonichu. Be warned: Chris's levels kill innocent Sackpeople.]]
Chris began mashing this level together in the era when ''LBP'' was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The ''Sonichu'' level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for ''Sonichu''. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first ''LBP'' level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode #1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic. The rest of the level is just expanses of empty areas, poorly made blocks of material, small poorly-made jumping puzzles and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some ''Sonichu'' stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's ''Aqua Teen Hunger Force''-Styled "BugerTime" Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with...''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' and the [[1982]] arcade game ''BurgerTime''. Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris's incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed eighteen times.

===Sonichu costume===
Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu nor a costume.

===PS3 History Level===
{{main|PS3 History Level}}
This is the level that catapulted Chris to fame, when it was featured on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' website as one of the honorable mentions in an ''LBP'' contest. The level was vastly improved compared to the ''Sonichu'' level, which, however, still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks|build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his "wonderful" recreations of the [[PS3]], [[PSP]] and [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks — so you'd better not doubt his straightness. Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history — the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

Chris won the ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' level pack after this demonstration of the power of the weapon that will lead us into the 21st century.

===''LittleBigPlanet'' Collector's Case===
Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his ''LBP'' profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": a few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

After the release of ''LittleBigPlanet 2'', Chris republished the level as "LBP 2 Collecter's Case" (sic). It truly showcases all of the highly innovative new features of the sequel - namely, its backwards compatibility and, uh, drawers. Chris's hoarding tendencies also just can't be kept in check. Chris also made an in-game [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|tutorial video]]. He ordered [[CWCki]]ans to mock it – curious, because there's not much to specifically ''mock'' in it. It's just more of the same.

===First Date Level===
Made on Valentine's Day [[2009]] and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "rollercoaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' extreme loops, passing by some of the [[Homos|gaudiest pink trees]] in existence. Once these ten seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a pink room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take [[Nudes|pictures]] of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the "[[McDonald's|romantic dinner]]" scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in the [[#Rescuing Kacey|"Rescuing Kacey"]] video, and Chris also used screenshots of it (and the Kacey level) in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|"To Jackie, with Love"]].

===Metal Speed Solid===
Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''MGS'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure-inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at "[[Sonic]] speed". Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===
"Rescuing [[Kacey]]" was made in [[November 2009]] and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|"Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler"]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the infamous [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down [[Liquid Chris]], who is allegedly holding Kacey hostage, and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey, ''and'' Liquid - just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day 2009, which occurred quite a long time ''before'' Chris and Kacey met.

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===
[[File:OwlLevel.jpg|thumb|A Sackboy expresses his fury at being forced to play this.]]
"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] on 9 [[February 2010]], and it's based on the compelling prose written by Chris and his latest [[gal-pal]], [[The Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]], and completely inexplicable (yet inevitable) cameos by two certain [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but the fanbase has done its best.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E</ref>

The level preview is notorious in that while Chris had tried his best to protect his latest sweetheart from troll attention, he revealed the Wallflower's pen name in the level description. As she had already established herself on the Internet with that name, she was easily discovered by trolls. Chris's relationship with her came crashing down.

After this, it is unlikely that the full version of the level will be released. Of course, Chris being Chris, didn't have the good sense to retract the level from the servers. On the contrary, Chris later uploaded a modified version of this level on ''LittleBigPlanet 2'', changing the description to replace "Full level coming soon!" with "Sadly we broke up :(".

 

==''LittleBigPlanet 2''==
[[File:Littlebigplanet2-boxart.jpg|thumb|''Little Pig Blanket 2'']]
''LittleBigPlanet 2'' was released on 18 [[January 2011]], precipitating a still-deeper retreat into the [[PS3|hugbox]]. Chris pre-ordered the Collector's Edition six months in advance after trading in "9 [[PS3]], 2 [[PS2]], 3 [[PSP]] and 4 [[Nintendo|DS]] [[Video games|Games]]", all of which only covered about half the price.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie E-mails #7]]</ref>

===Collector's Case Tutorial===
{{main|CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial}}
''LBP2'' introduced the ability to record one's own voice, so Chris's first major creation was a video of Sonichu explaining how to use his groundbreaking "Collector's Case" level. Chris really sounds like he's in his happy place during this video, in sharp contrast with his next piece of work...

===Autism Tutorial===
{{main|Autism Tutorial}}
On 13 [[February 2011]], Chris published his [[Autism Tutorial]] and [[Autism Tutorial Extra]] levels. These non-interactive machinima bits finally show some advance planning and craftsmanship, and Chris actually narrates them somewhat clearly; however, he hasn't improved his rhetoric at all, which might be pretty important if he intends to use the game as a soapbox.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://lbp.me/u/Sonichu Chris's LBP Profile] (or at least it ''would'' be there, if he actually cared about his billion-strong fanbase)
* [http://lbp.me/search?q=Sonichu ''Sonichu'' creations on ''LBP''] (including Chris's true original creations and some fascinating fan creations)
*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia Article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

LittleBigPlanet

2011-10-27T18:30:28Z

Barry:

{{Articleofthenow}} 
{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|'LittleBiGPlanet; it is a Planet that is Little, it is a Planet that is Big. LittleBiGPlanet.' A motto for the game I made up.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 8|Jackie E-mails #8]]</ref>}}
[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very antithesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is [[Honor Roll|intelligent]], [[Random access humor|witty]], [[Fail|successful]], [[Nudes|handsome]], [[Monthly Tugboat|wealthy]], and [[Attraction Sign|charming]], as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both [[Homos|gay men]], Fry does not engage in [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|self-loathing]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|closet dwelling]].]]

'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (also known as [[Speech impediment|"''Little Pig Blanket''"]] and [[Trollin'_Train#Damn.21_.28Wed_25_Aug_2010_5:42_AM.29|"''LittleFuckPlanet''"]]) is a critically-acclaimed platformer series, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]]. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels.

While the first game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[lie|amazing custom levels]]. Chris, being an enthusiastic fan of the game, fancies himself an ''LBP'' spokesmanchild, while failing to realize that neither his reputation nor his promotional activities actually help convince people that ''LBP'' is worth playing.

==Chris and ''LBP''==
[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]
Chris is a huge fan of ''LittleBigPlanet''. He participated in the beta test in the fall of [[2008]], and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When ''LBP'' was released, Chris disappeared from the [[Internet]] for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. The game's main character, "Sackboy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, as well as every single game add-on available in the [[List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads#LittleBigPlanet|PSN Store]].

The biggest reason Chris latched onto ''LittleBigPlanet'' was that it let him make [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu: The Game'']]; no other game in existence was sufficiently idiot-proof for the purpose. Of course, Chris still managed to make somewhat horrific levels and it took until ''LBP 2'' until Chris's output started to look at least somewhat plausible.

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[HEXbox]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for the [[Wii]] and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out, and condemned these vile bastardizations before even finding out if they ''actually'' exist.

Not everything is rosy in Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of ''LittleBigPlanet'' as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also [[F Abstinance#Description|unhappy with the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' DLC]] (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|horrid abominations]] in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how video games work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts.

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by Stephen Fry, a well-known [[homos]]exual and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the ''LBP'' Community==
Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over ''LittleBigPlanet''. It's not surprising that the ''LBP'' community is one of the few online communities Chris has gotten into voluntarily. However, just like in the case of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]] and PS3 boards in general, his personality and antics have not helped him to earn friends there.

Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the the game's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his ''[[Sonichu]]'' levels several weeks later under grounds of "[[Copyright]] Infringement". This was not enough to get him banned, however, and the levels are back in the servers.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the ''LBP'' community at large. See most of his ''LBP'' videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the ''LBP'' community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

===On costumes===
[[File:SonicLBPCostumes.jpg|thumb|The costumes that failed to meet Chris's specifications...]]
[[File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's subsequent bitching]]

Much later, in [[March 2010]], Sony released a DLC pack of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' costumes for ''LBP''. While one would think that something like this would fill the ''Sonic''-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make ''[[Sonichu]]''. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about, and his only demand to game developers is to ask for something that would benefit him alone.

{{quotebox|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.

Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.

Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be seperate Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my [[Rosechu]] Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, [[Women's rights|SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS]].

I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.

Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my [[Cwcipedia]] at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page
PSN Online ID: Sonichu}}

Sony did not respond.

==Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

Chris has created many levels in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his video game achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and [[Chris and camerawork|the videos]]. They're poorly thought-out, not playtested at all before publishing, show laziness and technical incompetence all around and have a mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same minimum-effort approach to ''LBP'' as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris's levels follow the tried-and-true "combine two franchises" technique, and that all of them have been tagged by ''LittleBigPlanet'' players as being "creepy", "weird", "rubbish", and "frustrating".

===''Sonichu'' Level===
[[File:SC9.jpg|thumb|A Sackboy panics as he's almost crushed by a giant wooden Sonichu. Be warned: Chris's levels kill innocent Sackpeople.]]
Chris began mashing this level together in the era when ''LBP'' was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The ''Sonichu'' level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for ''Sonichu''. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first ''LBP'' level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode #1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic. The rest of the level is just expanses of empty areas, poorly made blocks of material, small poorly-made jumping puzzles and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some ''Sonichu'' stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's ''Aqua Teen Hunger Force''-Styled "BugerTime" Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with...''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' and the [[1982]] arcade game ''BurgerTime''. Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris's incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed eighteen times.

===Sonichu costume===
Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu nor a costume.

===PS3 History Level===
{{main|PS3 History Level}}
This is the level that catapulted Chris to fame, when it was featured on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' website as one of the honorable mentions in an ''LBP'' contest. The level was vastly improved compared to the ''Sonichu'' level, which, however, still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks|build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his "wonderful" recreations of the [[PS3]], [[PSP]] and [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks — so you'd better not doubt his straightness. Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history — the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

Chris won the ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' level pack after this demonstration of the power of the weapon that will lead us into the 21st century.

===''LittleBigPlanet'' Collector's Case===
Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his ''LBP'' profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": a few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

After the release of ''LittleBigPlanet 2'', Chris republished the level as "LBP 2 Collecter's Case" (sic). It truly showcases all of the highly innovative new features of the sequel - namely, its backwards compatibility and, uh, drawers. Chris's hoarding tendencies also just can't be kept in check. Chris also made an in-game [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|tutorial video]]. He ordered [[CWCki]]ans to mock it – curious, because there's not much to specifically ''mock'' in it. It's just more of the same.

===First Date Level===
Made on Valentine's Day [[2009]] and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "rollercoaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' extreme loops, passing by some of the [[Homos|gaudiest pink trees]] in existence. Once these ten seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a pink room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take [[Nudes|pictures]] of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the "[[McDonald's|romantic dinner]]" scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in the [[#Rescuing Kacey|"Rescuing Kacey"]] video, and Chris also used screenshots of it (and the Kacey level) in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|"To Jackie, with Love"]].

===Metal Speed Solid===
Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''MGS'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure-inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at "[[Sonic]] speed". Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===
"Rescuing [[Kacey]]" was made in [[November 2009]] and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|"Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler"]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the infamous [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down [[Liquid Chris]], who is allegedly holding Kacey hostage, and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey, ''and'' Liquid - just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day 2009, which occurred quite a long time ''before'' Chris and Kacey met.

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===
[[File:OwlLevel.jpg|thumb|A Sackboy expresses his fury at being forced to play this.]]
"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] on 9 [[February 2010]], and it's based on the compelling prose written by Chris and his latest [[gal-pal]], [[The Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]], and completely inexplicable (yet inevitable) cameos by two certain [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but the fanbase has done its best.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E</ref>

The level preview is notorious in that while Chris had tried his best to protect his latest sweetheart from troll attention, he revealed the Wallflower's pen name in the level description. As she had already established herself on the Internet with that name, she was easily discovered by trolls. Chris's relationship with her came crashing down.

After this, it is unlikely that the full version of the level will be released. Of course, Chris being Chris, didn't have the good sense to retract the level from the servers. On the contrary, Chris later uploaded a modified version of this level on ''LittleBigPlanet 2'', changing the description to replace "Full level coming soon!" with "Sadly we broke up :(".

 

==''LittleBigPlanet 2''==
[[File:Littlebigplanet2-boxart.jpg|thumb|''Little Pig Blanket 2'']]
''LittleBigPlanet 2'' was released on 18 [[January 2011]], precipitating a still-deeper retreat into the [[PS3|hugbox]]. Chris pre-ordered the Collector's Edition six months in advance after trading in "9 [[PS3]], 2 [[PS2]], 3 [[PSP]] and 4 [[Nintendo|DS]] [[Video games|Games]]", all of which only covered about half the price.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie E-mails #7]]</ref>

===Collector's Case Tutorial===
{{main|CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial}}
''LBP2'' introduced the ability to record one's own voice, so Chris's first major creation was a video of Sonichu explaining how to use his groundbreaking "Collector's Case" level. Chris really sounds like he's in his happy place during this video, in sharp contrast with his next piece of work...

===Autism Tutorial===
{{main|Autism Tutorial}}
On 13 [[February 2011]], Chris published his [[Autism Tutorial]] and [[Autism Tutorial Extra]] levels. These non-interactive machinima bits finally show some advance planning and craftsmanship, and Chris actually narrates them somewhat clearly; however, he hasn't improved his rhetoric at all, which might be pretty important if he intends to use the game as a soapbox.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://lbp.me/u/Sonichu Chris's LBP Profile] (or at least it ''would'' be there, if he actually cared about his billion-strong fanbase)
* [http://lbp.me/search?q=Sonichu ''Sonichu'' creations on ''LBP''] (including Chris's true original creations and some fascinating fan creations)
*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia Article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Kacey calls

2011-10-26T21:33:57Z

Barry:

The '''Kacey calls''' are a series of phone calls between [[Chris]] and his then [[gal pal]] [[Kacey]]. Chris spent [[August 2009|August]] to [[October 2009]] trying to build Kacey into his [[Sweetheart From the Ground-Up]] by lying to her and listening to her yell at him. He learned nothing.

==Call 1==
{{main|Kacey Call}}
After finding out that [[Liquid Chris]] had a girlfriend, [[Solid Chris]] called her so he could "ease her into the truth" about her boyfriend's lies. Then he talks about eating cum off her tits. This call represents possibly the happiest moment in Chris and Kacey's "relationship". It's all downhill from here.

==Call 2==
{{main|Kacey Call 2}}
Chris continues to pose as Kacey's boyfriend, and organizes a meeting between the two of them. It all seems to be going so well...

==Call 3==
{{main|Kacey Call 3}}
After revealing the shocking truth that he is actually a fat creepy manchild, Kacey is disgusted and calls Chris up to yell at him. Chris pleads innocence and attempts to explain how HE is the victim here and Kacey is stupid for not understanding that.

==Call 4==
{{main|Kacey Call 4}}
A few weeks later, Chris and Kacey appear to be on relatively good terms with each other. Chris begins by reading a list of conversation topics he'd prepared, but things quickly devolve into Kacey questioning Chris about his many failures and him lying about everything. Eventually, Kacey convinces Chris to look for a job.

==Call 5==
{{main|Kacey Call 5}}
Chris and Kacey discuss Chris's understanding of money and the fact this his college experience was a waste of time for everyone involved.

==Call 6==
{{main|Kacey Call 6}}
Chris describes his few good experiences from his college days and his hatred towards his [[CADD Chef|CADD Teacher]]. Later, he tries to convince Kacey that he has multiple personalities, and his former personality was the weak and gullible one, but now he's switched over to the more "dynamic" one. Kacey basically laughs at him and tells him he's stupid, so he gives up on that idea and tries to pretend it never happened. The call ends with Kacey worrying that Chris is going to die because of his unhealthy lifestyle.

==Call 7==
{{main|Kacey Call 7}}
Chris claims he is exercising more and eating healthier, and he's going to buy a sports bra to hold his manboobs while jogging. He also talks about his understanding of the [[Third Date]], researching the age of consent, and implies that he's been able to enjoy masturbation more lately because he fantasizes about Kacey while doing it.

==Call 8==
{{main|Kacey Call 8}}
Chris learns some surprising news about how getting a job will affect his tugboat and promises to apply for a job at Wal-Mart. Kacey brings up Chris's stupid multiple personalities idea from earlier, and Chris tries to dismiss it, now claiming that he was possessed by a troll ghost because that makes a lot more sense. Later, Kacey makes it clear that Chris will not escape the Friend Zone.

==Call 9==
{{main|Kacey Call 9}}
Chris is still disappointed that Kacey Friend Zoned him, whines about being rejected by the [[Hambeast]], tries to justify his lack of male friends, and reveals the horrors he found within the Special Ed bus.

==Call 10==
{{main|Kacey Call 10}}
On [[Bob Chandler]]'s birthday, Chris reveals his new found love of sports bras, hates [[Vivian Gee]] and her [[audiobooks]], refuses to sell any of his video games, and complains about his parents being filthy hoarders.

==Call 11==
{{main|Kacey Call 11}}
Chris and Kacey discuss saving money, exercising, toy guitars vs. real guitars, bra maintenance, Family Guy and Playboy. Then Chris asks Kacey about her ex-boyfriend's dick size, and is shocked and saddened by Kacey's answer.

==Call 12==
{{main|Kacey Call 12}}
Chris and Kacey talk about exercising. Chris is fat.

==Call 13==
{{main|Kacey Call 13}}
Chris talks about making [[Videobooks|his own audiobooks]], making "sex drawings" for Kacey, and going to a pole dancing class.

==Call 14==
{{main|Kacey Call 14}}
Chris and Kacey continue to discuss Chris's general unhealthiness and that he's been trying to improve himself. He won't give up drinking soda, though.

==Call 15==
{{main|Kacey Call 15}}
Kacey yells at Chris and he complains about all the heavy stress he has in his life. [[Barb]] comes in and Chris rubs her feet while she rambles on about how she wasted her life, then tells Chris he needs to spend more time cleaning the house. After Barb leaves, Kacey starts telling Chris to clean all the toys and shit out of his room so he'll look more like an adult. Chris accidentally calls Kacey "mom". Also, even more disturbing information is revealed about the shittiness of the pigsty of a landfill that is the shithole of a wasteland of pigshit known as [[14 Branchland Court]].

==Call 16==
{{main|Kacey Call 16}}
Chris and Kacey discuss Chris's fatness, exercising, money, and the [[Sonichu 10|cure for gayness]].

==Call 17==
{{main|Kacey Call 17}}
Chris justifies comparing Kacey to a cow, tries to prove he owns the [[copyright]] for Sonichu, then has to quickly leave so he doesn't shit in his pants again.

==Call 18==
{{main|Kacey Call 18}}
Chris tries to explain how [[Clyde Cash]] came back from the dead, refuses to believe that Clyde is not a homosexual, and prevents Clyde from hacking into his PS3.

==Call 19==
{{main|Kacey Call 19}}
Chris lies about how much he exercises and shares his opinion on abortion.

==Call 20==
{{main|Kacey Call 20}}
Kacey coaches Chris for his upcoming job interview.

==Call 21==
{{main|Kacey Call 21}}
Chris tells Kacey how he thinks his interview went.

==Call 22==
{{main|Kacey Call 22}}
After Chris describes his experience at what he believes is a real life [[Dating Education]] class, he and Kacey debate what should happen to child molesters. She wants to [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|BREAK THEM DEAD]], while Chris thinks a few years in prison is punishment enough, unless you're a woman doing it to a guy/boy... then it's ok. After that, Chris tries to defend [[Meg Griffin]]'s honor after Kacey calls her fat and ugly, and refuses to acknowledge any gayness on Family Guy. Finally, Chris is shocked to hear that gay men don't find him attractive.

==Call 23==
{{main|Kacey Call 23}}
Chris reveals what he's learned about Clyde Cash, and gets exhausted after trying to do an impression of his voice.

==Call 24==
{{main|Kacey Call 24}}
Barb has colitis, Chris promises to tear down his Lego city, possibly gets trolled by [[Regina]], doesn't understand why he's the victim of a [[The Miscreants|worldwide trolling organization]], and finally explains, in no uncertain terms, that he is STRAIGHT!!!

==Father Call==
{{main|Father Call}}
Chris has a nice, long chat with Kacey's Father.

==The End==
{{main|Kacey and Liquid Call}}
The shit hits the fan.

==Epilogue==
{{main|The End For Real (Kacey call)}}
The fan will forever covered in shit because Chris is too lazy to clean it.

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

PlayStation blog

2011-10-26T21:30:47Z

Barry:

The '''PlayStation blog''' is a place where important [[PS3|PlayStation]] people talk about random crap. Chris has annoyed other people in the comment sections with his complaints using his [[Sonichu]] and CChan accounts from June [[2007]] to [[March 2010]].

== Comments ==
===WHY ME?!!!===
{{quotebox|
Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> June 15th, [[2007]] at 1:46 am

I’ve just download [[Autism|Go Puzzle]] for my [[PS3]], and on the ONLINE MULTIPLAYER function, while my opponent is able to play on their half, my game CURSOR is unable to move. No matter how much I press my D-Pad or push my Analog Stick, IT WILL NOT MOVE. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!! Also, in the “Lobby”, when I am prompted to “X” the “Ready?” icon, I can’t seem to be able to, no matter how much I press my “X” button.

WHAT IS THE DEAL?!!! WHY ME?!!!
}}
===Contest===
{{quotebox|
Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> August 6th, 2007 at 8:03 pm

I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Chop Chop Master Onion Contest]] at
http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms.

Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.

I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating [[Adam Stackhouse|adamstackhouse]], or do I believe the [[Honest]], [[Autism|Autistic]] CWCSonichu?
}}

===ORIGINAL BIRTH-CREATED Filename===
{{quotebox|
CChan <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 3rd, [[2008]] at 1:18 am

It’s good to know you’re fixing 2.40; I have a complaint to register. I’ve had no trouble installing it, but after installing the Update, I look up the video files I have saved on my external hard drive and not only does it TAKE LONGER for the PS3 to read the files to list them, but it digs deep into each one and adds a “Title” to the file’s information, which is its ORIGINAL BIRTH-CREATED Filename; not the name I dubbed the file. Originally, it would Sort via the latest filename; it now sorts via ORIGINAL Filename; [[Family Guy|IT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS]].

As long as you’re fixing the Update; Fix the Video File Reading capability back to the way it was.

Christian W. Chandler
PSN ID: Sonichu
}}
{{quotebox|
CChan <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 3rd, 2008 at 1:20 am

P.S.

After fixing 2.40, you may want to rename it to 2.41, so those of us who did receive the Update, our PS3s can pick up on the patch.
}}
{{quotebox2|
Sentry <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 3rd, 2008 at 1:26 am

@ 485

If the problem is really bricking PS3′s (lol sorry), then it should be named 2.45, its worthy of the jump don’t ya think? :P
}}
{{quotebox|
CChan <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 8th, 2008 at 3:14 am

I hope y’all were able to fix the Gear-Grinding Video File-reading glitch.
}}
{{quotebox2|
DarkGeneral88 <nowiki>|</nowiki> July 8th, 2008 at 3:38 am

@165

Why? Is it so problematic to go and install it yourself?

I can give a few reasons why it’s a bad idea

1. Time restraints I download them in the morning before work I don’t want to have to wait till they install before I can leave to turn it off and I don’t want it on all day. (Minority agreement probably)

2. I like the download in background feature and I don’t want that taken away. Installs can not be performed in the background and if it downloads the installs automatically we can’t have that feature anymore plus we could only be able to download one at a time because there would be conflicts. (Majority probably agree)

3. I don’t like bloated code which would just add needless lines of code which means more code more chance of bugs, which is never good even if you could toggle it off. Plus I don’t know how much space they have in flash but I don’t want that to take up room so they don’t have room for important usefull things.
}}

===I WANT THEM===
{{quotebox|
Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> August 3rd, 2008 at 12:46 am

In my humble opinion, about the Video on the [[PSN]] Store, I would like…

-Shows from [[Wikipedia:BBC America|BBC America]], such as “[[Netflix|Keeping Up Appearances]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Are You Being Served?|Are You Being Served]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Open All Hours|Open All Hours]]”, “[[Wikipedia:As Time Goes By (TV series)|As Time Goes By]]”, “[[Bob|Last of the Summer Wine]]”, “[[Wikipedia:My Family|My Family]]”, “[[Barbara]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Sorry! (TV series)|Sorry]]”, “[[Jerkops|Thin Blue Line]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Only Fools and Horses|Of Fools and Horses]]”, and of course, “[[Monty Python]]’s Flying Circus”.

-ALL the “[[Family Guy]]” episodes (Fill In the Blanks for EVERY SEASON), [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|Stewie’s “Untold Story”]] Movie, “[[Wikipedia:Blue Harvest (Family Guy)|Blue Harvest]]”, and future “Family Guy” movies/specials.

-Complete “American Dad” and “[[Futurama]]” Seasons and movies.

-All Rentals staying playable for a WEEK after First Playback (two weeks max with no playback is fine).

-More Disney shows and movies (“[[Wikipedia:Brandy & Mr. Whiskers|Brandy & Mr. Whiskers]]”, “[[Wikipedia:The Buzz on Maggie|The Buzz on Maggie]]”, “[[Wikipedia:Lizzie McGuire|Lizzie McGuire]]” and Classic Mickey Mouse, [[Donald Duck]], Goofy and Minnie Mouse shorts in B/W and Color).

Also, for the PSN Store Game area; I’ve noticed in other countries, there are 3 or 4 Additional Add-On Content for [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]; why didn’t they make the [[U.S.]]? I WANT THEM.

Sincerely
Christian Weston Chandler
PSN ID: Sonichu
}}

===Memory===
{{quotebox|
Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> December 22nd, 2008 at 3:02 am

I’m not sure, but I think it true from my Point of View, but did the Update Increase Memory Capacity, because usually when I update my [[Little Pig Blanket|LBC1 Level]], I CONSTANTLY receive a “Your Profile Can’t Be Saved” Message, usually due to LARGE-Capacity Level or HUGE amounts of downloaded objects and stickers, and now I’m not getting that message as much?
}}
{{quotebox|Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> December 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 am

never mind; I’ve learned the hard way that was not the case.

BUT IT SHOULD BE A PRIORITY in a future Patch; UPGRADE MEMORY CAPACITY for a Profile to fit the Greatest Size and number of Custom Levels, as well as the Infinite Number of Downloadable Objects and Stickers.
}}
===Death to homos===

{{quotebox|Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> [[July 2009|July 8th, 2009]] at 4:15 pm

Hey, the [[Street Fighter]] Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, [[Homos|I AM OFFENDED]]; please change your Avitar, dude.
}}
===''[[God of War]]''===

{{quotebox|Sonichu <nowiki>|</nowiki> [[March 2010|March 16th, 2010]] at 9:11 am

I have one complaint; I just got the U.E. of [[God of War|G.O.W. III]], and I had reserved it at [[Wikipedia:GameStop|Gamestop]], so I got a code for the Phantom of Chaos Skin as well. And I got acode from 7-Eleven for the Morpheus Skin.

The codes Worked for Morpheus Skin, Challenge of Exile Arenas/Dominus Skin and Unearthing the Legend.

But I am still getting the Error Message for the Phantom of Chaos Skin, ad the G.O.W. Trilogy and Blood and Metal Soundtracks.

When will tose two items be up, so my Two Codes for them can finally Function and I can have them?

Please let it be TODAY!

PSN: Sonichu}}

== Links ==

*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/06/14/ps3-firmware-upgrade-181-coming-tomorrow/comment-page-4/#comment-2180]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/02/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/#comment-14709]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2008/07/02/firmware-v240-status/comment-page-10/#comment-79605]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2008/07/07/ps3-system-software-update-v241/comment-page-4/#comment-82563]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2008/08/01/playstation-store-video-content-update/comment-page-3/#comment-94785]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2008/12/19/sack-it-to-me-the-holiday-edition/comment-page-3/#comment-141891]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/08/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/#comment-241496]
*[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/03/16/god-of-war-iii-out-today/comment-page-2/#comment-366547]
{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Re-Calling Ahuviya

2011-10-26T21:29:08Z

Barry:

'''Re-Calling Ahuviya''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 23 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In it, Chris calls out Jack Thaddeus once more. As the time ticks down, Chris reveals more information about him, including the fact that he was a communist, which Chris hates (probably because of [[Bob]]). He further proves his ignorance by conflating communism and [[CWCville|Nazism]], even though the two are, economically speaking, polar opposites. Like his previous Jack Thaddeus video, it was removed for hate speech.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re-Calling Ahuvia
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ofdre0Ima1A}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]
| next = [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]
}}

== Transcript ==

[[Sigh|*Sigh*]] Hello again, thee Internet. I have heard d- have not seen any response from Mr. Jack Thaddeus, as also he's known as Ahuviya. So therefore, I will reveal a little bit more information about him, starting with another portion of the photograph. ''[Camera pans shakily to the TV screen. It takes a moment to come into focus, revealing the upper left portion of a face, and then jerks back to Chris.]''

And, uh- let's see, what else do I have here on de stanssss... ''[Chris seems to read from something in his hands offscreen]'' He was definitely responsible for hacking my- hacking da network accounts. Probably had a ''hand'' in that blackout a few months ago. ''[A brief pause while Chris looks at his notes again]'' And, uh, he blackmailed me into humping... my c-console. And, uh, pa- he pasted the disgusting ads on da Cwcipedia... as well ''[Slurring and hissing]'' asss otherss trollin' schemess within the past couple of years. Uh, let's see...

''[Looks down again]'' Hmm...

Oh yes! ''[Looks back at camera, raises voice in a faux dramatic fashion]'' He is a communist! And we do not like communists within dis country! ''[Waves his right hand about, pointing upwards while glancing to his left]'' [[United_States_of_America#Politics|We are Republican, Democrat or neutral]]... And I am neutral, so [[Homo|I can go either way]], but I do not exactly care much for ''[Raises voice and waves finger emphatically]'' COMMUNISM! [[CWCville|We do not like to stand under one ruler.]] It is very unruly and... sssssssstupid! ''[Pauses and stares]''

''[Chris begins to sing a half-assed rendition of "[[Donald Duck|Der Fuehrer's Face]]"<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MReV9dkAVhY]</ref> [[CWCville|I will give a heil!]] ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' ''[In a sing-songy manner]'' Right in der Führer's face. Da da doo doo doo doo doo d'loo da doo doo doo da da ''[Chris and camera both bob enthusiastically with the tune]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Right in der Führer's face. ''[With his song finished, Chris settles the camera]''

Oh, yes, he is also a big fan of, uh- bonding... bondage, ssssadoism, machotism and disciplinary fetishisesss. And he is in the process of a sssexual change. He is going to have his... ''[Pauses, looks uncomfortable]'' [[pickle|weiner]] chopped off. I would ne'er do that, which I believe I have mentioned earlier; that is the one thing in being a tranny that I disagree on with him... And he's definitely never gonna be a female truly in that sense, in female ''[loudly and deeply]'' dominance. He has to get a real woman to come in in order to do that. ''[Pauses again to look at his notes]''

He still lives in Pennsylvania. Still a [[homo]]. ''[With a dramatic voice like an announcer at a boxing match]'' Twennnty five years old! ''[Attempting to sing the name operatically]'' Ahuviyaaaaa.

Stay tuned.

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]|nextlink=[[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-23 b]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Kacey calls

2011-10-26T21:28:15Z

Barry:

President

2011-10-26T21:26:23Z

Barry:

{{Disambiguation}}

'''President''' may refer to:

*[[Barack Obama]], current president of the United States of America
*[[George W. Bush]], former president of the United Stares of America
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]], game designer at [[Nintendo]]
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]], president of [[Sonichu|CWC Comics]]

Chris and his ego

2011-10-22T00:56:06Z

Barry: dammit

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}

{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}

'''Egotism''', out of all of [[Chris]]'s flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved children)]]

==Origins==

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again home-grown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his problems and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.

===The enablers===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]

{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. I was truly a miracle.|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a man that is almost thirty years old and has autism should live at home with his parents, specially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems (from emotional disorders to mental retardation) live far more independently than Chris does, whether alone, alone with supervision, or in group homes.

For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===

{{Main|Chris and money}}

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|"monthly tugboat"]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], [[Video games|playing video games]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his world view—sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===

[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris, who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==

[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for]] [[Barbara|admiration]], and [[Autism|lack]] [[Chris and remorse|of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by [[PVCC|early adulthood]] and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Art|exaggerates]] [[Honor roll|achievements]] [[CADD|and]] [[Sonichu (comic)|talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]])

2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]

3. believes that he or she is [[Autistic|"special"]] and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]] (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]

5. has a sense of [[Barbara|entitlement]], i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] [[Honor Roll|favorable]] treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]]

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs]] [[Wallflower|of others]]

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===

[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}

{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Barbara|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was waterboy.

===Persecution complex===

[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still out of his hands. His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[troll]]ing, among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're [[trolls|against him]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris- getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu|his]] [[Copyright|identity]]. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===

[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist]]

{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also [[Barbara|extremely sheltered]], he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]]. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting [[money]] for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his [[tugboat]] than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place).

==War against the ego==

One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knight]]s. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==

[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]

{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and his ego

2011-10-22T00:42:22Z

Barry: /* Hubris: the pride before the fall */

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}

{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}

'''Egotism''', out of all of [[Chris]]'s flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved children)]]

==Origins==

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again home-grown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his problems and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.

===The enablers===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]

{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. I was truly a miracle.|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a man that is almost thirty years old and has autism should live at home with his parents, specially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems (from emotional disorders to mental retardation) live far more independently than Chris does, whether alone, alone with supervision, or in group homes.

For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===

{{Main|Chris and money}}

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|"monthly tugboat"]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], [[Video games|playing video games]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his world view—sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===

[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris, who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==

[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for]] [[Barbara|admiration]], and [[Autism|lack]] [[Chris and remorse|of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by [[PVCC|early adulthood]] and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Art|exaggerates]] [[Honor roll|achievements]] [[CADD|and]] [[Sonichu (comic)|talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]])

2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]

3. believes that he or she is [[Autistic|"special"]] and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]] (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]

5. has a sense of [[Barbara|entitlement]], i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] [[Honor Roll|favorable]] treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]]

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs]] [[Wallflower|of others]]

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===

[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}

{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Barbara|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was waterboy.

===Persecution complex===

[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still out of his hands. His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[troll]]ing, among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're [[trolls|against him]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris- getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu|his]] [[Copyright|identity]]. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===

[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist]]

{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also [[Barbara|extremely sheltered]], he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|Confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]]. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting [[money]] for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his [[tugboat]] than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place).

==War against the ego==

One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knight]]s. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==

[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]

{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and mental healthcare

2011-10-21T18:42:20Z

Barry: Chris can probably empathize to a small extent, but he just doesn't bother.

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist at grade school while his screams were recorded (most likely over dramatic bullshit), and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris currently refuses to see a psychologist, opting to see a [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] instead.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia,<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself|Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]: '''Chris''': "I am a homophobe; I fear them all"</ref> and a victim of [[noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the trolls." (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22 (logic)|Catch-22]].)

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A [[Wikipedia:Cornell University|Cornell University]] [http://people.psych.cornell.edu/~dunning/publications/pdf/unskilledandunaware.pdf psychology journal] details this phenomenon:

{{quote|…when [[Chris|people]] are incompetent in [[Attraction Sign|the strategies they adopt]] to achieve success and [[China|satisfaction]], they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their [[Autism|incompetence]] robs them of [[Naïve|the ability to to realize it.]]|A disturbingly accurate account of Chris’s reaction to [[Chris and reality|reality]]}}

===The 2004 survey===
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at [[PVCC]] in [[2004]] echoed the diagnosis of autism that Chris received some time in his youth, and took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend." He also administered a [[Wikipedia:Folstein test|Folstein test]], a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment — Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|Global Assessment of Functioning]], the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway in between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

===The trolls' perspective===
The rest of the human race believes that Chris has ''way'' more than autism to worry about. Popular theories mark him as a psychopath and/or a pathological [[ego|narcissist]], for instance, and also point towards what seems like a paranoid streak (as when Chris proposed that the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] school board has [[100 2178|conspired over a period of decades]] to make him miserable). Since the only available view is from a distance, though, there's no way anyone can know for certain if Chris's brain is garlanded with healthy chunks of the DSM-IV-TR or if he's merely a gullible idiot with a terrible upbringing and worse personality (and autism).

Until Chris gets some sustained professional attention, most of the speculation about his issues remains exactly that. Which leads to a larger problem...

==Professional help?==
One of the most [[Rage|frustrating]] elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. It seems that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] think that the world of mental health hasn't evolved past the turn-of-the-century treatment of strait jackets and lobotomies. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever been in was a compulsory anger management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listens to is [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claims that he has no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag #2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag #4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It would be likely that he could seek the help of a professional for little or no cost, as his [[monthly tugboat]] in the form of SSI does offer basic psychological services that would allow him the ability to talk to a board-certified counselor and get the help he does need. It's likely though he doesn't even know this service is available, as he only regards his SSI check as income or a cheap means of getting [[PS3]] games, ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' or ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' DLC, and [[sex toys]] rather than a reassurance that he is covered under federal [[Wikipedia:Medicaid|Medicaid]] or the equivalent state Medicaid program offered by the Commonwealth of Virginia.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or used to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May Chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered his noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Chris refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs any, and because he has better things ([[PS3|games]], [[anime]], [[Kimmi|porn]]) to spend his money on. Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are, regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a thirteen-year-old]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things, regardless of how any mental health worker worth his salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of [[fail]], Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling other people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag #35]]</ref> Funnily enough, were Chris to ever see a psychologist, he or she would probably see this as classic [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection Freudian projection].

==History of medication==
According to the [[2004]] psychiatric survey, at some point in his life, Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely sometime in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late [[1980s]], the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common. More recently, however, Imipramine has commonly been prescribed to patients who have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|urinary problems]].

The same document notes that, as of [[2004]], Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his [[stress]] and [[Chris and anger|anger issues]]. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward.

Chris continues to take antidepressant medication to this day. In [[Mailbag 13#Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man|Mailbag #13]], he explained that he switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects, the ones that "only hit adults." However, in his eleventh call with [[Kacey]] Chris said that the drug he switched to from Paxil is Paroxetine.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Since Paxil is just one of Paroxetine's several trade names and not a different drug, it seems that Chris is still taking the same medication only under a different title.

Chris didn't specify what side effects Paxil caused him, but his language suggests some sort of a sexual dysfunction. Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]]; if his current antidepressant is still Paroxetine (or at least another [[wikipedia:Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor|SSRI]]) then it might explain why it took him around twenty minutes in order to climax when he cybered with [[BlueSpike]].<ref>For examples see the full transcript of [[Bob Walks In]] and [[CWC Cums for a Cat]].</ref>

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and sedentary lifestyle.

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution". What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh's experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems makes her experienced on the issue. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===[[Autism papers|Psychiatric Papers]]===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point, Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary school years or sometime after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|ordered]] to take anger management classes.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens ]]</ref> The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional...and...well...[[Chris and anger|he still can't control his anger.]] There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris' that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===[[Rocky Shoemaker]]===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she is probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considers her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He barely listens to anything she fucking says.
#He misconstrues everything she says, accepting advice he likes and ignoring advice he doesn't like.
She has told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remains as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she has put a stop to trolling plans, [[Fridays After Five|his behavior remains the same]]. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls.

[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?

About the only thing that he has taken away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] from October 2009 and told [[Kacey]] in [[Kacey_Call_22|a phone call]] in September 2009 that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris felt that he had found some form of real life [[Dating education|date ed]]. In reality, Chris came upon a class meant for couples who wanted to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to finding out how to get into one. The true nature of the course is irrelevant since Chris is creepy and out of place pretty much anywhere he goes.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has no common sense. Likewise, common sense being...common, [[white knights]] and [[trolls]] are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. He doesn't fucking get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering [[Autism|why exactly he doesn't get it]]. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to, no matter what level they are on the ladder. [[Vivian Gee|Some white knights]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they've essentially moved on to becoming professional trolls.

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Autism papers]]
* [[Asperger's syndrome]]
* [[Dreams]]

{{Chris and}}

Prank call

2011-10-21T04:48:58Z

Barry: Redirected page to Prank calls

#REDIRECT [[Prank calls]]

Gaybian

2011-10-20T18:30:54Z

Barry:

'''Gaybian''' (pronounced [ˈgeːbiən]) is a [[CWC-ism]] for a male lesbian that has sexual feelings for women, devised by [[Chris]] in [[February 2009]]. It was introduced in the [[Clyde Cash]] blackmail [[YouTube]] videos, containing his confessions of being [[homos]]exual.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009]]</ref>

==Gaybianism==
[[image:WantWoman.jpg|100px|thumb|right|A gaybian]]
It transpires that this was Chris's get-out clause of confessing that he was gay, in a "fingers crossed behind his back" way. As Chris used to believe that [[Anna McLerran|lesbianism]] is perfectly fine and natural, while showing disgust for male homosexuality, this is Chris's way of justifying homosexuality. This is probably because on an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'', when asked about homosexuality being a choice, a lesbian Meg knew said nonchalantly "well, not for guys" (which was the whole joke of the episode, not that Chris notices). This would explain why when confronted with a lesbian [[fan]], he'll say that he's "disappointed."

The whole "male lesbian" thing may be stolen from British comedian and transvestite [[Wikipedia:Eddie Izzard|Eddie Izzard]]. If so, Chris probably didn't realize that while some men do consider themselves lesbians, Izzard, being a comedian, ''was joking''.

As of [[2011]], Chris is a [[Tomgirl Pictures|full-time gaybian]]. He runs around [[Charlottesville]] in his Tomgirl outfit, even using the woman's bathroom on one occasion.<ref>[[Tomboys_And_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Girly_Things_Tee_Hee|Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia forums]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Cwcbraorig.JPG|Gaybian [[fashion]] in [[2008]]...
Image:TG20.jpg|...and [[Tomgirl Pictures|2011]]
File:TG10.jpg|Damn!
File:TG18.jpg
File:TG14.jpg
Image:Gaybianad.jpg|The [[TRUE and HONEST]] gaybian website
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Homos]]
* [[Tomgirl Pictures]] (gaybian fashion in [[2011]])

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Homos]]

United States of America

2011-10-19T03:16:54Z

Barry:

{{Quote|Okay, [[Honor roll|I don't know the words]], but I am being patriotic here!|Chris, forgetting the national anthem<ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref>}}
[[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|Christian's primary thoughts on the U.S.]]

[[Chris]] is a citizen of the '''United States of America''', a federal democratic republic in North America. The nation is considered the only remaining [[China|superpower]] since the end of the Cold War, and is a leading economic, political and cultural force in the world.

Chris's stance on the nation he lives in is inconsistent at best. While he claims to be a good citizen who loves and respects his country, his [[Twin Falling Towers|actions]] [[Calling Out|are]] [[Chris and Hypocrisy|often]] [[Chris and the Law|very obviously]] contrary to these claims.

==Politics==
[[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|left|National flag of [[CWCville]].]]

At a glance, Chris's sense of politics seem very inconsistent; on some issues, he takes a very [[Wikipedia:Conservatism in the United States|conservative]] stance, on others a very [[Wikipedia:Liberalism in the United States|liberal]] one. While many people have an independent or bipartisan opinion, one has to realize the true nature of Chris's decision-making: that Chris doesn't favor what's good for the working class, or America, or the world, but rather what's good for Chris. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates da [[homos]], and supported [[Barack Obama]] because he "saw himself in him,"<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>.

Another political insight is the vague statement "I agree with gun control.",<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> despite Chris's numerous [[death threats]] and [[Sonichu Special 4|vigilante plans]] that would require a firearm. Soon after, he clarified that he supports abortion,<ref>[[Mailbag 20]]</ref> undoubtedly to show his appreciation for [[women's rights]].

Chris proclaims himself to be a "moderate."<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe]]</ref> While typically this simply means not having extreme or overly partisan political beliefs, he takes this as a general-purpose response to all questions about politics, including ones that have no defined middle path. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the [[Mailbags]], where Chris will often dodge giving his opinion on issues ''every'' voter should have an opinion on, simply because ''he has no opinion'', though he did vote for [[Obama]] in 2008.

{{Quote|I disagree with more of the [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (US)|Republican]]'s views than the [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrats]]. As for [[Wikipedia:Iraq War troop surge of 2007|the troop surge]], I don't really care much for war, especially if it's [[Death threats|over some petty disagreement]], but regardless of the surge's success or failure, [[Chris and English|I feel at least half of the sent troops should not be pulled back to stand their ground]].|Chris, [[Mailbag 15#Everything in moderation|Mailbag 15]]}}

Chris doesn't react well in situations where he absolutely has to make a choice ([[Julie]] or [[PSN]]? A question for the ages!<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>), and seems easily persuaded on matters that he doesn't really have a stake on. As a result, he often comes across as a weathervane, just repeating whatever opinion has most recently lodged itself in his head. His changing opinion about Obama is a good example of this, as he has echoed the sentiments from [[Bob|his father]], a documentary, and then from his father again, adopting a positive and negative stance based on what he hears; he never really stops to make a summary and decide what points really matter.

==Understanding of government==
[[File:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|thumb|America as understood by Chris.]]

Chris's grasp of how the government works, much like Chris's grasp on [[reality]] as a whole, is shaky at best. One of the most telling examples of this is his ignorant stance on taxation and [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]]. Because Chris is jobless, he pays no taxes. However, he still thinks of himself as a contributing member of society, because he pays [[Wikipedia:Sales taxes in the United States|sales taxes]] on the massive amount of crap he buys.

{{Quote|My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well.... I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well.|Chris, being wrong.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref>.}}

It's highly unlikely that Chris understands the massive discrepancy between the amount the federal government pays him and the amount he gives back via sales tax. Chris also fails to understand that sales taxes are collected by state and local governments, while his Social Security Disability check comes from the federal government.

Chris also seems to have difficulty understanding what the true purpose of government actually is. The U.S. government's duty is to follow the will of the majority while respecting the rights of the minority, to protect its citizens from danger, and to ensure the continued prosperity of the nation. Chris, however, would like it to become a force for social engineering that would make the most rabid totalitarian shudder. When asked hypothetical questions about what he would do if he were running things, he proposes bizarre sweeping laws that single out [[Homos|certain minorities]] and force individuals into relationships whether they want to be in one or not.

{{Quote|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples, leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All gays would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.|Chris<ref> [[Common Questions#28 December 2009]]</ref>.}}

The fact that this would not help the country at all, and would require the employment of a level state coercion unprecedented in human history, does not factor into Chris's thinking. By his logic, since he wants a [[sweetheart]], ''everybody'' must want a sweetheart, and if everybody wants a sweetheart, the government needs to make it happen.

Over the years, Chris has proposed a large number of laws, even sending letters to President [[Barack Obama]] demanding legislation against [[trolls]] and [[homos]]. This is completely useless for two reasons: one, the President of the United States has much more pressing concerns than making an insane manchild in Ruckersville, VA, happy, and two, the US President ''can't make laws''. (Separation of powers and checks and balances in government are concepts Chris has no time for — [[CWCville]], after all, is a hereditary dictatorship.)

Oddly, the closest analog for how Chris views his government is how Chris views his [[religion]]. He treats both the U.S. government and [[God]] as things that can be completely ignored unless he has a personal problem, at which point they should immediately step in and help. He believes that both have a deeply vested interest in himself, often at the expense of everybody else. God should damn [[Clyde Cash]], and the [[Wikipedia:FBI|FBI]] should arrest him. It doesn't matter that Clyde hasn't done anything the FBI would be terribly interested in; Chris is mad at him, and that's all that matters.

== Chris on patriotism ==
As established, Chris has a very [[naïve]] view of American politics and how the federal government operates. Despite these setbacks, Chris has developed a unique brand of patriotism he brings up quite often, usually either in [[Father Call|defense of his character]] or dehumanization of his [[Trolls|enemies]]. As a result, these stabs at [[Wikipedia:Jingoism|jingoism]] often feel forced or out of place. Chris has utilized this tactic in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], with the iconic "Clarksville Address":

{{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring [[Sweetheart]] and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|[[Sonichu]], on how insulting Chris means you hate America.<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref>}}

[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris bastardizing the American flag with his [[Chris and fashion|favorite shirt]]]]

Here, we can see the prime factor in Chris's logic. Namely, that [[Song of Christian|his problems are analogous with the problems of every American]]. Therefore, if [[ED]] satirizes him, they insult all U.S. citizens. This would become something of a recurring theme, with a later video claiming that any attack on Chris or [[CWCville|his fictional utopia]] was equivalent to mocking any 'C-ville' in America.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> On a shallower level, it's an obvious ploy for sympathy, a facade of reasonable nationalism that aims to make him the 'good guy', and by extension, [[Jason]] the 'bad guy'. Thus, patriotic symbolism is thrown in, without really even considering whether or not it makes sense in context. Chris is patriotic simply because he believes that's what will win him [[Scale of Respect|respect]] and reprieve. It goes without saying that, while constantly implying that insults to him are also insults to America, Christian insults his home country far, far more by making connections between his aberrant behavior and Americans in general.

His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his tendency to [[Twin Falling Towers|mock national tragedies]] and his [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" end up having the opposite effect.

However, his bumbling enthusiasm isn't reserved for the USA alone. Like many Americans, Chris has developed a fake lineage of European ancestry, starting from [[Anne Boleyn]], a Queen of England who was executed in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1536]]. This was almost instantly proven false when her ultimate descendant Queen Elizabeth I, also known as [[Virgin with rage|"The Virgin Queen]], died in 1603, childless. Then Chris tried in vain to co-opt British, Scottish, and Irish national sentiment in his kilt-clad tirade against [[Surfshack Tito]]<ref>[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]</ref> as a means of intimidation. Also, while not a standard country per se, he also evoked his relation to the Cherokee nation in his infamous [[War Paint Video]]. Finally, Chris attempts to use the fact that February 24 is Mexico's Flag Day to justify [[Christian Love Day|turning his own birthday into a holiday]]; an ''American'' holiday no less. Note that all of these cases, Chris's total ignorance of other nations means he [[fail]]s spectacularly at representing them and appearing patriotic.
{{-}}

==Chris for President?==
[[File:Idealworld.jpg|thumb|Chris's [[CWCville|ideal America]].]]

In an [[October 2010]] video, Chris outlined his actions for what he would do if elected President. He declared he would [[Chris and money|cut taxes in half, build "soup hotels", give senior citizens increased funds for medications and special services]], restrict guns to law enforcement personnel only, [[homos|allow gay marriage]], and [[TrollBusters|form a special police force that focuses entirely on capturing Internet trolls.]]<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref>

Aside from his failure to deliver a good speech, this video also showcases his complete and utter ignorance of how government and taxes work. Building luxury hotels for the homeless<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref> and increasing social security for [[Bob|senior citizens]] would cost a fortune to do, yet he also proposes cutting taxes in half, thus also reducing the amount of money the government can spend in half. Given that Chris probably has [[Honor Roll|no knowledge of economics]], he probably just assumes that money can be printed endlessly without fear of inflation.

Chris's restrictions of guns to professionals only is a blatant violation of the [[Wikipedia:Second Amendment to the United States Constitution|Second Amendment]], which (supposedly) allows American citizens to own a gun for protection. While there are certain restrictions on who can own a gun and what type, a flat-out ban on weapons for everyone would be found unconstitutional. Then again, Chris isn't exactly big on [[Homos|respecting]] [[Alec Benson Leary|the]] [[Megan|rights]] [[Mailbag 31|of]] [[Niggos|others.]]

His departure from his previous stance on gay marriage is surprising, but then again, he was influenced by [[Jackie]] when he made the video. Despite his decree of equal rights, he does finish up his point by imploring [[Homos|gays]] to [[Sex tape|"keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody."]] Meanwhile, straight couples can flaunt their heterosexuality to their heart's delight.

While taxes, government spending, gay marriage and gun control are all big issues, Chris finishes up his video by proposing his most important change: the establishment of a special [[TrollBusters]] unit of [[Chris and the law|law enforcement]], apparently dedicated to finding trolls who make fun of people online, and incarcerating them. While a cybercrimes unit already exists for the FBI, they spend their time pursuing real criminals like [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and scam artists, not people who make fun of [[Chris|retarded inbred cry-babies]].

The fact that Chris has complained to law enforcement previously, but not seen them do anything about it, leads Chris to believe that it must not exist; [[ego|otherwise they would be spending all their resources tracking down the people who make fun of him]]. The fact that Chris is willing to suspend constitutional rights and spend countless millions to incarcerate people that make fun of him is proof that Chris is neither a Republican, Democrat, or moderate; he's more of a fascist.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]''
*[[Chris and the law]]
*[[TrollBusters]]
*[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Sonichu 8]]

[[Category:Places]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2011-10-19T03:14:33Z

Barry: /* Early life */

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris Tran]] [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris Chrissy [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' [[Jackie Chat 6|Chunky Monkey Man]] Great Director Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 29)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]
Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

{{-}}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right, Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the [[Chris and psychology|emotional maturity]] of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centres in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal cord.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult adventures===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

On [[November 2010]], around the same time another saga involving an [[Jackie|online sweetheart]] ended in romantic failure, Chris uploaded a [[100 2357.MOV|video on YouTube]] in which he announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel.

However, his internet activity had not completely ceased and ever since he retired from YouTube Chris has released [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|several]] [[Autism Tutorial|new]] [[LBP|Little Big Planet]] levels, uploaded [[3DS Flipnote|two]] [[Hippo Flipnote|Flipnotes]], secretly frequented the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forums for a couple of weeks on [[May 2011|May]]-[[June 2011]] and apparently even had a new [[Facebook]] for a brief time during [[July 2011|July]].

Chris later returned, in August 2011, with a series of [[Calling Out|new videos]] in which he calls out various trolls, such as [[Surfshack Tito]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[BlueSpike]], and [[Thorg]].

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since Barb is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account. Whatever fate awaits Chris after Barb dies and there is no one to look after him remains to be seen.

===Life as a Tomgirl===

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life after his YouTube retirement is his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. This adoption of a new wardrobe was first revealed to the net on 29 [[April 2011]] when a [[Tomgirl Pictures|batch of pictures]] featuring Chris in drag was leaked.

Further light was shed on this issue when Chris’s posts in [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] were discovered on 20 [[July 2011]]. Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or Tomgirl as he calls it) and an unabashed one too; not only did he came out as a Tomgirl to his parents (who both strongly disapproved),<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Coming_out_to_my_parents]]</ref> he also dressed and behaved as a female in public, going as far as to use women’s bathrooms instead of men’s.<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Girly_Things_Tee_Hee]]</ref> Such antics are not likely to endear him to many people in socially conservative Virginia.

Chris does not see his Tomgirl identity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality and has gone to assert his straightness in his very first post on Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia.<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Introductions.21]]</ref> His love quest is yet to have reached its end and so far he remains a virgin.<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Friendship_Issues]]</ref>

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The CWCville Show
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rDyg8bxeyTM}}
| Stardate = 23 December 2009
| Maker = BigBlackPony
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Sony

2011-10-19T03:04:02Z

Barry:

{{quote|I HAVE DONE MY HOMEWORK, AND THE PLAYSTATION PEOPLE KNOW OF THEIR ERRORS.

JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED, OR I AM NOT [[autistic|AUTISTIC]].|Chris in [[PSN Blogs]]}}

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|300px|Thank you Sony, for helping me meet trolls.]]

'''Sony Corporation''' (or as Chris used to call it, "Playstation people") is one of [[Chris]]'s game company hard-ons. Creators of the [[PS3]], [[PSP]], and the [[PSEye]]. In a odd way, we have to blame Sony perhaps more than [[Nintendo]] for contributing to Chris's mental degradation (after all, Nintendo never gave him a camera and unfiltered [[Internet]] access).
{{clear}}
==Sony and Chris==
As a company, Sony has [[troll]]ed Chris inadvertently several times, including the infamous [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] scandal in [[2007]]. During the contest, [[Megan|rape was alleged]], [[Cole Smithey|family issues were brought to light]], and Chris... [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Master Onion A-La Mode|just watch]]. In August 2010, an employee at Sony of [[America]] allegedly accidentally trolled Chris into [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|formatting his hard drive]].

While Chris plugs many [[Axe|products]] (and never receives payment for doing so), none are more prominently displayed than the PS3. This four hundred dollar [[LittleBigPlanet|soul stealer]] has been subject to many, many [[Chris humps his PS3|creepy forms]] of idolization. One would wonder why Chris thinks Sony would '''ever''' want to appear in anything made by a man who [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|soils himself]]. In [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]], we finally find out via a close-up of the bezel of Chris's 32" LCD TV which was purchased in September 2009 that even his television is also a Sony. Because of the high price of Sony television sets (at least near $1,000 for even a lower-tier model), this means [[Bob]] threw a nice chunk of change toward another quality gift for Chris.

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to [[Nintendo]] and the Gamecube, stating that both forerunners to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Box|Xbox]].
In the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]], Chris appealed to Sony (as well as to Nintendo and even [[Microsoft]]) to bunch up and stop the trolls.

It is unknown at which point Chris defected to Sony, nor the reasons for doing so, though the existence of the [[Wii Remote of Fail]] indicates that he never completely abandoned Nintendo. One possible explanation is that most devoted gamers own more than one console or platform. Like Chris, many XBOX and PS3 fanboys also own a Wii, and most of the "warring" is between their respective consoles.

{{clear}}

==See also==
*''[[Eye of Judgement]]''
*''[[God of War]]''
*''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
*''[[ModNation Racers]]''
*[[Video games]]

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Sony|Sony]] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Sony]]

Sony

2011-10-19T02:55:36Z

Barry:

{{quote|I HAVE DONE MY HOMEWORK, AND THE PLAYSTATION PEOPLE KNOW OF THEIR ERRORS.

JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED, OR I AM NOT [[autistic|AUTISTIC]].|Chris in [[PSN Blogs]]}}

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|300px|Thank you Sony, for helping me meet trolls.]]

'''Sony Corporation''' (or as Chris used to call it, "Playstation people") is one of [[Chris]]'s game company hard-ons. Creators of the [[PS3]], [[PSP]], and the [[PSEye]]. In a odd way, we have to blame Sony perhaps more than [[Nintendo]] for contributing to Chris's mental degradation (after all, Nintendo never gave him a camera and unfiltered [[Internet]] access).

==Sony and Chris==
As a company, Sony has [[troll]]ed Chris inadvertently several times, including the infamous [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] scandal in [[2007]]. During the contest, [[Megan|rape was alleged]], [[Cole Smithey|family issues were brought to light]], and Chris... [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Master Onion A-La Mode|just watch]]. In August 2010, an employee at Sony of [[America]] allegedly accidentally trolled Chris into [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|formatting his hard drive]].

While Chris plugs many [[Axe|products]] (and never receives payment for doing so), none are more prominently displayed than the PS3. This four hundred dollar [[LittleBigPlanet|soul stealer]] has been subject to many, many [[Chris humps his PS3|creepy forms]] of idolization. One would wonder why Chris thinks Sony would '''ever''' want to appear in anything made by a man who [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|soils himself]]. In [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]], we finally find out via a close-up of the bezel of Chris's 32" LCD TV which was purchased in September 2009 that even his television is also a Sony. Because of the high price of Sony television sets (at least near $1,000 for even a lower-tier model), this means [[Bob]] threw a nice chunk of change toward another quality gift for Chris.

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to [[Nintendo]] and the Gamecube, stating that both forerunners to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Box|Xbox]]. It is unknown at which point Chris defected to Sony, nor the reasons for doing so, though the existence of the [[Wii Remote of Fail]] indicates that he never completely abandoned Nintendo. In the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]], Chris appealed to Sony (as well as to Nintendo and even [[Microsoft]]) to bunch up and stop the trolls.

{{clear}}

==See also==
*''[[Eye of Judgement]]''
*''[[God of War]]''
*''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
*''[[ModNation Racers]]''
*[[Video games]]

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Sony|Sony]] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Sony]]

Barbara Chandler

2011-10-16T16:26:13Z

Barry:

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}

{{quote|I don't need no back talk from someone on the [[Internet]].|Barbara, [[Mumble 2]]}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 70)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Ran Coleman Yeatts 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Issue'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office Worker (Ret.)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Appearance==
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref> Barb has no eyebrows in the first picture on this article for some strange reason.

==Cole and his possible fathers==

[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]]]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother Cole in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash. She insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she was married, but records show that she actually married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. To further fuel Cole's later rage, Yeatts visited them as a "friend" when Cole was a child.

During Cole's childhood, Barbara abused Cole along with her then-partner Jerry.<ref name="email07-03-06p1">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref> Then came Bob, who made Cole rage even harder with his mean-spirited Republicanism. Based on experiences with all these men, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The translation would be "She likes to date guys who curse a lot, and obsesses over them". The relevancy of her partners' vernacular is a little puzzling. He's probably just being sesquipedalian. What he was probably trying to say: "She rolls with scrubs".

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years.<ref name="email07-03-06p1" />
{{-}}

==Marriage with Bob==

[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker. Too bad physical appearance is genetic]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like - however sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on September 6, 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

==Pampering of Chris==

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]]<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and go to prison. Given some of the violent state of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> As a result, Chris believes he is so irresistible to women that [[PandaHalo]] would not stop kissing him once she met him.{{cite}} She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas.<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

While having a special needs child is a major [[stress|stressor]] in any marriage, rather than getting genetic counseling and family therapy to cope with raising an autistic child, Chris's parents have gone the old-fashioned route of expecting little to nothing of their son and treating him as an imbecile, with a modern "victim complex" spin, his entire life. This would have been understandable in the days before psychology — like when Bob was growing up — but nowadays it's known that even sufferers of Down's syndrome can lead healthy and fulfilling independent lives if they receive supportive parenting and appropriate professional help.

==Recent health problems==
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans of Sonichu]] have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

==In the comics==

[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son]]

Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips" in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==Audio appearances==

* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]
* 4 [[February 2009]]: In [[Mumble 2]], Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]], Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[November 2009]]: Toward the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* [[Matthew Noble call]]: In this call, Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.

==Video appearances==

Barbara has only appeared once briefly on video to date, in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Barbara Chandler

2011-10-16T16:25:38Z

Barry:

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}

{{quote|I don't need no back talk from someone on the [[Internet]].|Barbara, [[Mumble 2]]}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax
| Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 70)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Ran Coleman Yeatts 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Issue'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office Worker (Ret.)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Appearance==
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref> Barb has no eyebrows in the first picture on this article for some strange reason.

==Cole and his possible fathers==

[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]]]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother Cole in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash. She insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she was married, but records show that she actually married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. To further fuel Cole's later rage, Yeatts visited them as a "friend" when Cole was a child.

During Cole's childhood, Barbara abused Cole along with her then-partner Jerry.<ref name="email07-03-06p1">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref> Then came Bob, who made Cole rage even harder with his mean-spirited Republicanism. Based on experiences with all these men, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The translation would be "She likes to date guys who curse a lot, and obsesses over them". The relevancy of her partners' vernacular is a little puzzling. He's probably just being sesquipedalian. What he was probably trying to say: "She rolls with scrubs".

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years.<ref name="email07-03-06p1" />
{{-}}

==Marriage with Bob==

[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker. Too bad physical appearance is genetic]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like - however sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on September 6, 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

==Pampering of Chris==

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]]<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and go to prison. Given some of the violent state of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> As a result, Chris believes he is so irresistible to women that [[PandaHalo]] would not stop kissing him once she met him.{{cite}} She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas.<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

While having a special needs child is a major [[stress|stressor]] in any marriage, rather than getting genetic counseling and family therapy to cope with raising an autistic child, Chris's parents have gone the old-fashioned route of expecting little to nothing of their son and treating him as an imbecile, with a modern "victim complex" spin, his entire life. This would have been understandable in the days before psychology — like when Bob was growing up — but nowadays it's known that even sufferers of Down's syndrome can lead healthy and fulfilling independent lives if they receive supportive parenting and appropriate professional help.

==Recent health problems==
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans of Sonichu]] have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

==In the comics==

[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son]]

Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips" in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==Audio appearances==

* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]
* 4 [[February 2009]]: In [[Mumble 2]], Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]], Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[November 2009]]: Toward the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* [[Matthew Noble call]]: In this call, Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.

==Video appearances==

Barbara has only appeared once briefly on video to date, in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2011-10-16T16:24:20Z

Barry:

{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants. Notice that Chris uses the word "tinkle", a word used by children to describe urination.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]]. It was coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009 and quickly became a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris often unwittingly shits himself. After encouragement from his doctor, Chris occasionally wore [[butt garments]], but later dropped them altogether. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing women's underwear, Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS."

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", almost as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a [[July 2011]] post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]]</ref> Ironically, Chris' desperation to prove he does not wear womens' underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[Image:Dirty_Crapped_Bed.jpg|thumb|right|What would have inevitably happened.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would frequently toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "That's for babies!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, but she eventually relented after Chris dropped a massive load in his sheets while asleep and left it to stew for a day or so. As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

Ivy's account indicates that Chris's incontinence becomes more of a problem when he's frightened or under stress. Around the time of his visit to the doctor, thanks to what was apparently a prank call from a troll unaffiliated with the real Clyde, Chris was sincerely afraid that Clyde Cash planned to come to his home and kill him.

== Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

Butt garments

2011-10-16T16:06:54Z

Barry:

{{Honest}}

'''Butt garments''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for diapers, which are used to prevent [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] (or [[Wikipedia:encopresis|endocrepsis]], where one unintentionally shits themselves). He most likely calls them "butt garments" to avoid the embarrassment of wearing diapers, despite the fact that he desperately needs them. Chris hated the idea of wearing diapers, and made multiple attempts to throw out the diapers before [[Barb]] caught on and hid them away in her room.{{cite}}

==Discovery==
On 16 [[April 2009]], images of Chris in diapers leaked, with a special shout-out to spas from [[Sonichu (IRC channel)|#sonichu]]. Chris later stated in [[ECV 00095]] that the butt garments were sent to him by a [[troll]]. According to [[Ivy]]'s ghost, Barbara mistook them for samples of adult diapers sent by Chris's doctor, who had been trying to convince Chris to start wearing them.

After Ivy found out that Chris was cheating on him with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], one of her friends suggested that he take the photos below to apologize to Ivy. The front reads "TOO HOT FOR COLLECTION," in case you don't want to stare at it for too long. This appears to have been the last time they were ever mentioned. Presumably, they are still sitting around Barbara's bedroom.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ecp00063.jpg
Image:HelloSpas.jpg
Image:Ecp00065.jpg
Image:Ecp00066.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]
*[[Chris and health]]

{{stub}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Diaper

2011-10-16T15:53:43Z

Barry: Redirected page to Butt garments

#REDIRECT [[Butt garments]]

Virginia is for Virgins

2011-10-16T15:46:56Z

Barry:

[[Image:VirginiaVirginsComic.jpg|thumb|right|Sign indicating "VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS" with a [[Jerkop]] claiming that true love is illegal in Virginia. From [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].]]

'''"Virginia is for Virgins"''' is one of [[Chris|Chris's]] many, many stupid theories. It is a corruption of the state department's slogan [[Wikipedia:Virginia is for Lovers|"Virginia is for Lovers"]], which is used in ads to promote tourism.

In a fashion typical of a paranoid delusional personality, Chris literally thinks that every man, woman, and child in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], is taking part in a massive, [[Wikipedia:Manhattan Project|Manhattan Project]]-style cover-up devoted solely to keeping him from getting any [[china]]. This idea was formulated after his sign was destroyed by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and Chris was told that he couldn't get a [[girlfriend]] by using a sign.

[[Image:VirginiaIsForVirginsAd.jpg|thumb|LOL WUT?]]

==Origins==
In Chris's [[Story of My Current Days]], Chris explains how he came to believe that "Virginia is for Virgins":
{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of, I made a simple sign that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every Boyfriend-Free, 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], a bunch of Non-Blue or Black impersonating [[JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH [[Heart level|LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART]] TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that Love Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[jerks]] of the [[Greene County Conspiracy|Greene County School System]] during the childhood years of my life. Thank God for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}

==Contradictions==
While Chris states that Virginia "is for Virgins" only, people with an actual brain wind up with this question: how is it possible that our [[autism|autistic hero]] developed a [[noviophobia|hatred towards men]] in a state where [[hanky panky|true love]] is virtually forbidden? If lovers cannot stay together, how come [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] married? Does he imply that his parents don't actually love each other?

It is possible that all the couples seen in Virginia are nothing more than holograms created by Mary Lee Walsh to taunt Christian, to eternally make him remember that no woman will ever free him from his [[virgin with rage|sexual frustrations]]. Either that, or it's just Chris who fails to realize that the problem of him not finding a [[sweetheart]] does not lie in the fact that the state where he lives is against romance, but because he's completely fucked up in his mind and is not willing to make any changes to improve himself.

'''BUT WAIT!'''

==Proof==
These links provide irrefutable proof that it is illegal for Christian to ever have sex in Virginia. Read [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-61 here], and [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-346 here].

Huh. Seems we were wrong about that after all, eh?

==A case for state involvement in Chris's sexuality==
Chris goes as far as believing that the government of Virginia should be involved in his quest for [[China]]. Just like the speech therapy he received at [[Chris's education#James Madison University|James Madison University]], he believes that he and his fellow social retards should receive special "[[Dating education|dating education]]" before receiving any form of sexual education. In his own words, from his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating Education|Wikipedia entry]]: "If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years".

As if that weren't enough, Chris also believes that the government [[Monthly tugboat|should pay]] for him to get laid. In [[Mailbag 29|Mailbag #29]], Chris argues that virgins should be referred to state-sponsored [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|sex workers]] so they can lose their virginity. The fee, he reckons, should be set to $10 for an hour of service, including a thirty-minute crash course in sexual intercourse.

==See also==
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]

{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Chris and the Internet

2011-10-15T20:06:15Z

Barry: /* internet vs. Internet */ new section

The littlebigplanet post is already [[LittleBigPlanet#On costumes|here]]. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:26, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

I want to be useful. Is there any way i oculd help specially in the art department?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:21, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

I don't really think that there is much to be said about Chris and the internet. This seems like a somewhat pointless article in my opinion. Most of this is covered elsewhere, and the stuff that isn't doesn't really seem important enough for its own page. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:32, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

I don't see much point in this either, this would be a bunch of bits from the other "chris and..." pages... of course I might be wrong, and If I am, I would LOVE to be proven as such [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:52, 27 May 2010 (UTC)

Some examples of his bitching:

http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412

http://share.blog.us.playstation.com/ideas/2010/03/17/bring-on-the-past-code-only-items-please/

I think we should leave it, at least for a coherent description of his attempts to "remove myself from the internet", as (if i am not mistaken) this is the only place where they are all bunched together[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 19:48, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

I think there's some potential here, I'll see if I can't flesh this up/trim it down as it needs. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 22:57, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

== Attempts to leave the internet ==

Quote: "Nearly two weeks after his ''final'' abandonment of the internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Haneta|Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the internet and posted his response to it all on Flipnote Haneta the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around."

Is that right? Because I thought he was posting to that site while he was at the event not the next day. He could have been talking about past real life imagery such as the Emily Date pics. There is the possibility I'm horribly mistaken though. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 05:05, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

== Failure of Attempt 6 ==

With the [[Calling Out]] videos, Attempt 6 can be declared a failure now, can't it? --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 19:43, 6 August 2011 (PDT)

I went ahead and mentioned it, but I think this page could use a bit of organization. Do you think we should organize each attempt with a sub-heading or put them in a table? Each section would detail the date of departure/return, reasons, etc --[[User:Dantz|Dantz]] 16:51, 7 August 2011 (PDT)

== internet vs. Internet ==

This is sort of bugging me. Do we capitalize internet like a proper noun? I mean, I've seen both usages a lot. [[User:Barry|Barry]] 13:06, 15 October 2011 (PDT)

Christian Weston Chandler

2011-10-15T20:03:25Z

Barry:

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris Tran]] [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris Chrissy [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' [[Jackie Chat 6|Chunky Monkey Man]] Great Director Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]
Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

{{-}}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right, Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the [[Chris and psychology|emotional maturity]] of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centres in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal cord.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult adventures===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

On [[November 2010]], around the same time another saga involving an [[Jackie|online sweetheart]] ended in romantic failure, Chris uploaded a [[100 2357.MOV|video on YouTube]] in which he announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel.

However, his internet activity had not completely ceased and ever since he retired from YouTube Chris has released [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|several]] [[Autism Tutorial|new]] [[LBP|Little Big Planet]] levels, uploaded [[3DS Flipnote|two]] [[Hippo Flipnote|Flipnotes]], secretly frequented the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forums for a couple of weeks on [[May 2011|May]]-[[June 2011]] and apparently even had a new [[Facebook]] for a brief time during [[July 2011|July]].

Chris later returned, in August 2011, with a series of [[Calling Out|new videos]] in which he calls out various trolls, such as [[Surfshack Tito]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[BlueSpike]], and [[Thorg]].

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since Barb is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account. Whatever fate awaits Chris after Barb dies and there is no one to look after him remains to be seen.

===Life as a Tomgirl===

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life after his YouTube retirement is his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. This adoption of a new wardrobe was first revealed to the net on 29 [[April 2011]] when a [[Tomgirl Pictures|batch of pictures]] featuring Chris in drag was leaked.

Further light was shed on this issue when Chris’s posts in [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] were discovered on 20 [[July 2011]]. Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or Tomgirl as he calls it) and an unabashed one too; not only did he came out as a Tomgirl to his parents (who both strongly disapproved),<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Coming_out_to_my_parents]]</ref> he also dressed and behaved as a female in public, going as far as to use women’s bathrooms instead of men’s.<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Girly_Things_Tee_Hee]]</ref> Such antics are not likely to endear him to many people in socially conservative Virginia.

Chris does not see his Tomgirl identity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality and has gone to assert his straightness in his very first post on Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia.<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Introductions.21]]</ref> His love quest is yet to have reached its end and so far he remains a virgin.<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Friendship_Issues]]</ref>

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The CWCville Show
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rDyg8bxeyTM}}
| Stardate = 23 December 2009
| Maker = BigBlackPony
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2011-10-15T19:49:37Z

Barry:

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris Tran]] [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris Chrissy [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' [[Jackie Chat 6|Chunky Monkey Man]] Great Director Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Approximately [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]
Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

{{-}}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right, Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centres in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal cord.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult adventures===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

On [[November 2010]], around the same time another saga involving an [[Jackie|online sweetheart]] ended in romantic failure, Chris uploaded a [[100 2357.MOV|video on YouTube]] in which he announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel.

However, his internet activity had not completely ceased and ever since he retired from YouTube Chris has released [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|several]] [[Autism Tutorial|new]] [[LBP|Little Big Planet]] levels, uploaded [[3DS Flipnote|two]] [[Hippo Flipnote|Flipnotes]], secretly frequented the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forums for a couple of weeks on [[May 2011|May]]-[[June 2011]] and apparently even had a new [[Facebook]] for a brief time during [[July 2011|July]].

Chris later returned, in August 2011, with a series of [[Calling Out|New Videos]] in which he calls out various trolls, such as [[Surfshack Tito]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[BlueSpike]], and [[Thorg]].

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since Barb is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account. Whatever fate awaits Chris after Barb dies and there is no one to look after him remains to be seen.

===Life as a Tomgirl===

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life after his YouTube retirement is his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. This adoption of a new wardrobe was first revealed to the net on 29 [[April 2011]] when a [[Tomgirl Pictures|batch of pictures]] featuring Chris in drag was leaked.

Further light was shed on this issue when Chris’s posts in [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] were discovered on 20 [[July 2011]]. Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or Tomgirl as he calls it) and an unabashed one too; not only did he came out as a Tomgirl to his parents (who both strongly disapproved),<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Coming_out_to_my_parents]]</ref> he also dressed and behaved as a female in public, going as far as to use women’s bathrooms instead of men’s.<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Girly_Things_Tee_Hee]]</ref> Such antics are not likely to endear him to many people in socially conservative Virginia.

Chris does not see his Tomgirl identity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality and has gone to assert his straightness in his very first post on Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia.<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Introductions.21]]</ref> His love quest is yet to have reached its end and so far he remains a virgin.<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Friendship_Issues]]</ref>

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The CWCville Show
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rDyg8bxeyTM}}
| Stardate = 23 December 2009
| Maker = BigBlackPony
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Talk:Chris and...

2011-10-15T19:42:40Z

Barry: /* A proposal */

==Good idea...==
But where will this link from? --[[User:MissMeg|Miss Meg]] 18:11, 29 September 2011 (PDT)
:Thanks, I might shoe-horn it into a couple of articles. Also, "Chris and..." is perfect for a little template, but it sounds awkward as hell as an article title, especially with piping. I should have chosen a better name. ;_; [[User:Barry|Barry]] 18:38, 29 September 2011 (PDT)
:It compliments the "About this series" guide I created on the navigational template page [[:Template:Chris and]], and so for now I've linked this article at the foot of the template, and also added it to the instructions. Oddly, I just woke up from a slumber - and initially read the second section title as "...his skillet", and I was like WHAT. It's an almost perfect title for that section - so I don't think my misreading of it is going to be a problem for the average reader =) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 22:02, 29 September 2011 (PDT)

== No. Bad idea. ==
What was the point of this page beyond being a list all the "Chris and..." articles? I would argue that the text summaries here are largely unnecessary, and the template serves the same purpose, and the arguments above about what will link to this page is also valid. As it stands, this page is useless and a waste. Do what I did and write up and improve your article draft in your user space until it serves some kind of purpose, and is not just a page for a page's sake. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 08:12, 30 September 2011 (PDT)
:Honestly, the article isn't necessary. The Wiki would function perfectly fine without it. But I like the "Chris and..." articles, and back when I was a new to Chris, they were very informative. One thing that always bugged be was the lack of a central "Chris and..." article or redirect, so readers could get a feel for them, sort of like the [[Videos]] page for his numerous videos. Redirecting to a template would be fucking strange, so I made an article hoping it would make it easier for the readers, giving them quick summaries of the topics in an easy-to-access way. It's not the most important article, you're right, but it has some use. [[User:Barry|Barry]] 08:43, 30 September 2011 (PDT)

:I also don't really like this article. When I look at a page, I tend to think "what purpose does this serve?" This page seems to me to just be a larger version of the template.

:"Anger: One of Chris's fatal flaws is his anger."

:So this tells me that the Chris and Anger page is about Chris' anger. How is this more useful than what I would get from seeing the template? From another angle, if I saw something in the "Chris and..." template and couldn't tell what the article would be about from the title (Chris and the industry, for example), I apparently have two options. I can either click on the link and read the article's introduction to get the gist of it, or I can go to THIS article, find and read the section here about the page (which is almost entirely the same as the intro section in the Chris and the industry article, by the way), and THEN decide if I want to read the article. I don't see any advantage to the latter option. Links to this article won't be anywhere the template isn't and it's inferior as a directory. As a consequence, it's ALWAYS less convenient than just going to the appropriate Chris and... article. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 08:40, 30 September 2011 (PDT)
::Appreciate the feedback.
::Having a template, especially one with so many articles in it, without some sort of central article looked weird to me. Maybe I was just sperging out, who knows. I think the main problem, what you're getting at, is this article doesn't do anything particularly well. It has organization, but the template is better for that. It has bare-bones summaries, but the actual articles are better for that. If I flesh out the summaries more so it doesn't feel like an elaborate list, it will be more useful overall. I'm going to fix it then. [[User:Barry|Barry]] 08:50, 30 September 2011 (PDT)
:::I think the best way to use this article would be to address how the different articles interlink. Everything's segregated into lists, but it feels like each line is its own section. If things were better integrated, I think it would be a valuable article. I'll think a bit more on it and see if I can come up with any advice better than "make it better". [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 08:57, 30 September 2011 (PDT)
::::If I can make a suggestion of my own, why don't we turn this page into a disambiguation page? It'll still link to all the articles and very short descriptions will still exist but it won't look unnecessary and full of filler like it does now. I'd have to actually see it in that form to really judge, but I think it would be better than leaving the page as is, and this way it will also fill the role that Barry was talking about; I.e. being a central page for the Chris and series. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 14:26, 30 September 2011 (PDT)
::::::*If I might chime in, I think Freecell has a point, but how about we make this a project/portal page? I've thought about doing it before, but just got reminded of it. It would elaborate on the "Chris and..." series of articles, setting basic parameters, that sort of thing, and then we can use the page as sort of a portal. I'd have to look up how Wikipedia does it but they'll have pages about similar topic things on a page that serves as a launchpad for a topic, and I think something like that might work in this case.

:::::::Good discussion, guys.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:41, 1 October 2011 (PDT)

== A proposal ==

You know, I've thought about this before but after looking at a similar topic wiki, I figured I'd finally get around to posting it here. Now obviously this is a CWC wiki, and topics on it are related to CWC. Therefore, wouldn't it make sense to just drop the "Chris and..." from articles? Now mind you, I started it, as I was trying to mimic Wikipedia but something like that makes sense on Wikipedia. For instance, an article on "Slavery" would be a general article with slavery, and if you want specific examples of people with slavery you might have an article like "Thomas Jefferson and slavery" or "George Washington and slavery" and in a context like Wikipedia, it makes sense. I mean, you need to specify because you're dealing with general stuff. But with us, we're just dealing with Chris. It's safe to assume that if we're going to be discussing, say sex, it would be safe to assume that we're dealing with Chris - I mean, we're not so much interested in Bob's sexuality or Megan's sexuality, namely Chris's (after all, the CWCki is [[CWCki:CWCki_is#CWCki_is_about_Chris|about Chris]]). Therefore, why do we really need to clarify that it's "Chris and sex" as opposed to just "Sex"? As I've said elsewhere, any article here could in theory be a "Chris and..." article. We could very well call [[Bob Chandler]] "Chris and his father" or the page on [[Megan]] "Chris and Megan" but we don't need to clarify it because remember, this is a wiki about Chris.

So what am I proposing? Pretty much we drop the "Chris and..." from these articles. Criteria for making articles could be kept, the template page has pretty good guidelines and has helped make sure that we're not seeing a new "Chris and..." article pop up every day like it used to be. However, as this is a major change to the status quo, I'd like some discussion. Thoughts?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:06, 14 October 2011 (PDT)
:It sounds like a good idea. What would we do with the template though? If we axe the "Chris and" part, a lot of articles would be fair game, ones that never were originally part of it. Maybe remove the "Chris and" and rename the template to "Topics about Chris." I'm a little tired so I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, but it's probably no big deal. Maybe I'm missing something?
:Again it sounds great, it's just that one part that bugs me. [[User:Barry|Barry]] 08:17, 14 October 2011 (PDT)
::*Good question. Something like "Topics about Chris" works, we could still very leave the template as "Chris and...", just dropping the "Chris and..." part from the article name.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:07, 14 October 2011 (PDT)
:::Good idea. :) [[User:Barry|Barry]] 12:42, 15 October 2011 (PDT)
:I'm still mulling the idea. The main thing which sticks out in my mind is - while having ''Chris and...'' prefixed on to each article name at present might seem odd and out of place, some ''Chris and...'' topics would look odd if their title was simply the name given after the ''Chris and...'' prefix. Part of why we have the ''Chris and...'' naming system is because the articles refer to Chris's relations, knowledge or opinions about a topic.
:The solution may simply be to rename some articles - but I feel that if we were to drop the ''Chris and...'' prefix, most if not all articles would need some form of re-write to make them make more sense as a standalone article about that topic. It would be about shaping the articles up to be more of an overview about the subject, which then leads on to how it relates to Chris etc. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:18, 14 October 2011 (PDT)

CWCki - User contributions [en]

Bob Chandler

Virginia

Talk:Rocky Shoemaker

Talk:Rocky Shoemaker

Mary Lee Walsh

Rocky Shoemaker

Template:Timeline

November 2011

Barbara Chandler

Template:Da update

User:Barry

Craigslist

October 2011

CWC's Pokésite 1

File:Pokesite1.PNG

Talk:Amanda

Burger King

Burger King

User talk:IwegalBadnik

Monthly tugboat

Adult Swim

Adult Swim

Other documents

Adult Swim

LittleBigPlanet

LittleBigPlanet

Kacey calls

PlayStation blog

Re-Calling Ahuviya

Kacey calls

President

Chris and his ego

Chris and his ego

Chris and mental healthcare

Prank call

Gaybian

United States of America

Christian Weston Chandler

Sony

Sony

Barbara Chandler

Barbara Chandler

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

Butt garments

Diaper

Virginia is for Virgins

Talk:Chris and the Internet

Christian Weston Chandler

Christian Weston Chandler

Talk:Chris and...