CWCki - User contributions [en]

Rocky Shoemaker

2010-10-12T06:02:23Z

Bealtespip122:

[[Image:shoemaker.jpg|thumb|Rocky Shoemaker]]

[[Image:ivyjesus.jpg|thumb|''[[Ivy]] vs. The Methodist Church''. Coming to a theater near you]]

'''Rochelle "Rocky" Shoemaker''' is a pastoral counselor (actual title - "Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries") at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], who advised [[Chris]] on several matters, going as far back as the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

==Biography==

Rocky used to work in the [http://www.cof-umc.org/index.html Community of Faith United Methodist Church], where she garnered high praise and [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 comparisons with Rocky Balboa]. In the year of Our Lord [[2009]], she brought about the end of the [[Ivy]] Saga, by pushing Chris to go to the police about Ivy.

This wasn't the first time she wanted to call the cops, either - [[Julie]] and [[PandaHalo]] have both incurred her wrath in the past.

The last straw came in the form of [[Joshua Martinez]], aka [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who tried to swindle some money out of Chris by trading him a [[PSP]]. After that, Shoemaker made [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barb]] contact the cops who tried to find Ivy and even managed to get a background check on her and came up with nothing.

In a [[IRC (23 July 2009)|July 2009 IRC Chat]] Chris, believing that he had entered the chat incognito (although the trolls had in fact instantly seen through his false identity), suggested that the trolls force him to [[Chris and sex|rape]] Rocky. That's right. Despite the fact that she just might be the only person left with any hope for Chris, he still has fantasies about raping her and then blaming the trolls for making him do it. Rocky herself is aware that Chris said this. The fact that she did not kick him out of the church on the spot speaks volumes about her sanity.

==The ultimate white knight?==
Rocky Shoemaker might be the only person in the world who is genuinely concerned about Christian's well-being. Judging by her approval of the [[Love Quest]], it can be inferred that she supports Christian's desire for [[china]].

Despite saving him from the wiles of Joshua Martinez and [[Clyde Cash]], it seems as though Rocky is ineffective at making an impact in Christian's life where it really matters - namely his [[Homos|bigotry]], [[Chris and his Ego|selfishness]], [[Chris and death|total disregard for others]], [[Chris and health|gluttony]], and [[Chris and anger|rage]].

One can usually spot her hand in affairs if Chris begins to display common sense. It is generally believed that she was behind Chris's attempt to quit the internet forever on 21 March 2010, as the video was made on a Sunday. Chris likely meets with her on Thursdays and Sundays, as he suddenly developed basic pattern recognition skills long enough to catch one troll on 29 April and smoke out [[Sydney Contacts|another]] on 1 May (though he may have simply gotten both mixed up with [[Jackie]]).

Chris insists that Rocky is a better counselor than a professional psychologist, and seems to accept uncritically whatever she says, even though her only qualifications are "big fan of [[GodJesus|Jesus]]."

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Shoemaker, Rocky}}
[[Category:People]]

CWCki:General

2010-10-08T20:03:19Z

Bealtespip122: /* getting rid of the fan works section */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

*[[CWCki:General/Archive 1|Archive 1]]

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Da update is used for Chris updates...but what about other updates? ==
For example, I don't think the Lucas video game pictures should be on the update, but it should be noteworthy. Should it placed in da update or no? Also if you're wondering what pictures, I'M WORKING ON IT. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:33, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:Where should I stick the pictures? I uploaded them with Lucas commentary on them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:42, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
::I think either the list of Chris's games article or the video games article. Leaning towards the video games article, if only because the list article is already pretty damned huge. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:07, 10 September 2010 (PDT)

== Image purge project ==
According to the Spongepedia (also hosted by dreamhost), 500 internal server error may be caused by TOO MANY IMAGES. In any case, I'm sick of seeing shitty images that do nothing to enhance articles as well. please tag images that are useless on their talk pages for deletion. kthx [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:45, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
*Based on what you told me about the Spongebob wiki, their problem was also due to image size. Perhaps if we work on resizing images down to less than 30kb?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:34, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::Eh, the 500 errors are a configuration/setup issue. I highly doubt images are the root cause. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:44, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
:::No, it's a general agreed consensus that the 500 internal server error is occurring more often nowadays. It has to do with an increasing amount of SOMETHING. I'm going by this only lead right now. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:09, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::::I mostly get 500 errors on pages that are large - that is - the body of text is large. Images really seem to have a negligible effect on whether a page 500's for me or not. We should think carefully about whether going about an image purge will largely be a wasted effort and/or do more harm than good towards error fixing (generating more edits - which may also form part of the problem). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:06, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Overlooked interview? ==

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed on the talk page for [[Chris-chan_Discusses...]], the subject of a previous interview was brought up, and Champ said he didn't want to put it on until they had a youtube version for it. A year later, someone did. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR_PrPHC2l0 The video doesn't have many views, and I don't believe it has an article for it. I'm not sure if any of this is relevant, but I wanted to draw attention to it in case it needs an article or some other mention.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 06:03, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*This is the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], that video is just a mirror. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 15:05, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

== Chris and diligence article? ==

Christian's work ethics and his laziness are rightfully infamous, but there isn't an article dealing with it en detail. I'd make it myself but due to stress and my poor grasp of English I'd rather hear the opinions of others on it before making a crappy attempt. --[[User:Maximilian Graves|Maximilian Graves]] 07:58, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
** Strangely enough, I was thinking the same thing. Though with how lazy he is, the article would probably grow to be almost as large as the article on sex. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:04, 15 September 2010 (EST)

== My response to the site administrator. ==

Just a few days ago, a member of our forums decided to claim that we were involved in attacks on your wiki. We were notified by the administrator of your site on a locked topic supposedly thanking us for our actions placed on PSPownsYou (or PBML) and also requested action on another supposed participant named Level1isbest. I just want to point out that we have no intention of harming your site and that the involved parties are a bunch of fucking trolls, but then again every person on Newgrounds does it for the lulz, not including school shootings (Jeff Weise). Sorry for any inconvienence. [[User:Tateos|Tateos]] 16:25, 15 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris and Morality Page==

Though his morality has been mentioned on several other pages, I think it would be best to have one page dedicated to his morality, or lack there-of, and where it comes from, mainly his ego. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:07, 15 September 2010 (EST)
: Frankly, if it's coming from his ego, it should be mentioned on the [[ego]] page. This is, however, unless there's enough to justify a major Chris and page.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:37, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
:: I don't really think Chris's morality needs its own page, as it would end up being a documentation of all the times he's been a horrible person (huge list), and all of the reasons behind it (troll speculation). These issues are already covered rather in depth on Chris's own page, the White Knighting page, the pages on Chris's Lies, Things Chris Has Ripped Off, Women's Rights, Homos etc. I feel a page purely about what a bad person he is is redundant (and self-evident besides). [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 09:46, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== so i did some spring cleaning today. ==
http://www.mediafire.com/?q6dsbzkgteqxpp6 - and then i realized it was autumn. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 17:44, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:Does the great Clyde wish for these to be uploaded to their appropriate articles? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:49, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

::No, I want them to stay in this link forever and never be posted on the CWCki. Ever. EVER. This is the reason why I posted on the CWCki, to ensure that would happen. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:50, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

I was doing some spring cleaning too, little cuz! I was going through my emails and then suddenly i stumbled upon this pic of CWC that WallFlower gave to me awhile back! As The Ancient Hawaiians used to say: A clean coconut is a clean soul. http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/7886/cwcinkilt.jpg [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 17:58, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:lol at the Marge Simpson poster - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:23, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

== Tugboat icon I made for Donations ==

[[File:Tugboat_donate_icon.png]] Enjoy!
[[User:Shiny|Shiny]] 13:31, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
*Include your CWCki username with your donation and you'll receive a SPECIAL, LIMITED EDITION user box for your page and you'll receive a "si a pretty cool guy" quote from yours truly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:23, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

So hey, I wanted to donate some shinies but my PayPal only gives out my dox rather than my CWCki username. I'll set up a new PayPal account in a bit. Gmail's the best way to go about it, right? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:26, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

== Faithfulness ==
Is there an article on Chris and his faithfulness to his "sweethearts", cause I was just skimming through Sonichu 10 where he claims Blanca is his true and honest sweetheart, but he's married in the future to Lovely Weather and slept with her, not to mention Meg? And that's probably not the only example one could think of. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 22:31, 29 September 2010 (EST)
*Just about every Sweetheart article showcases how unfaithful Chris is.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 15:32, 30 September 2010 (PDT)

== getting rid of the fan works section ==
it's just a drag on our servers. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:54, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:if anyone wants to argue against deleting the fan works section, speak up now plz. hurry! [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:32, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
::If it'll keep away the server errors then tear it down, burn the remains, and salt the earth. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:03, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
:::The section is bullshit that should have been killed months ago. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 19:26, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
Wasn't there plans for a wiki dedicated to fanworks? Whatever happened to that? For that matter, why is the fanworks section still up at all? Cogsdev wanted it trimmed several months ago.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 00:41, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:http://789chan.org/cxc/ [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:12, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
Can you give us an idea for an exact date for the deletion? I'd like to go through and save everything. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 20:22, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:I'll save it all in a zip file. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:24, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

There's hardly anything left that's worth keeping. I say go for it.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 20:44, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:Dunno guys, [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Fan:Choose_Your_Own_Adventure this for example] is ace and I'll miss it. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 01:59, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

In that case, move the Mailbag References page out of the Fan category. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 03:56, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

:As I mentioned on the fan discussion (In case nobody read it) It would be an affront to not have any backups of the stories here. I finished up my story (Silent CWCville) so save the stories, redistribute them throughout the internet. And tell me where they'll be moved. Thanks. --[[User:Radiant Price|Radiant Price]] 16:44, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

If it's going to be saved and taken elsewhere, I say nuke it.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 21:15, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

Just do it! people can use /cwc/ to post their creepy fantasies --[[User:GOTDANG|GOTDANG]] 06:31, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

Yeah,if you're gonna save it I'm all up for the deletion. --[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 13:03, 8 October 2010 (PDT)

==Posting Kacey's Encounters with Chris==
Does anyone else feel that we should make a page with [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 Kacey's encounters with Chris] here? I mean, we reference it enough, and I think it's causing some confusion. Unless, of course, you feel that showing that Kacey was trolling him would be more confusing. [[user:Melainia|Melainia]] 12:20, 6 October 2010 (EST)
:That information is unsubstantiated. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 21:30, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
::Oh, true, I just wanted to ask. [[user:melainia|Melainia]] 12:53, 6 October 2010 (EST)
:I'm not so sure...Some of the information sounds feasable, And if I recall correctly during one of their final chats Kacey mentioned an IRL encounter with him. But at the moment I don't want for us to take any risks...Is it possible we can get a confirmation from Liquid? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 00:56, 6 October 2010 (EST)
::I do remember the sniffing incident being mentioned during the Father Call, and Chris did admit to touching her a lot. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 1:00, 6 October 2010 (EST)
:::liquid doesn't give a shit about this anymore. just let sleeping dogs lie with him. just forget about this stuff, we'll get the real story one day. maybe. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:08, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

==Need CWC E-Mail==

I'm looking to pull the wool over good ol' CWC's eyes via The 4Hoursemen project (details will be revealed later) but if it goes out the way i plan lulz will ensue but for these things to fall into play i need some way to talk to him.Would his youtube account work or will he not even respond on that? [[User:The 4horsemen project|The 4horsemen project]] 17:07, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*Sign your posts. It's just four ~'s.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 16:40, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*It's damn near impossible to get into contact with Chris. You'd have an easier time picking fly shit out of pepper while wearing boxing gloves. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:11, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*CWCki really isn't the place to launch trolling and if you can't find Chris's e-mail, then you probably shouldn't be trolling him.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:17, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

*Oh i've found his e-mail but the fat bastard wont respond to me.Maybe i should find a diffrent approach... [[User:The 4horsemen project|The 4horsemen project]] 17:28, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

==Mental Stability==

So how's the mental stability on cristian?In his latest videos he seems a little more crazy then befor.

Sign your posts and take this to the speculation page.--[[User:Svek|Švek]] 09:45, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:100 2269

2010-10-08T05:54:38Z

Bealtespip122:

{{Not A Forum}}
Transcribing :L [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 15:51, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

''"He mentions Jackie at least once in the video, saying he will "turn her on"."''
Those are lyrics from the song. They refer to drug-taking. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 16:10, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
:Re-added Jackie saga. Basically go listen to 4:20+ very carefully. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:27, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
:Boop, my bad. Beg your pardon. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 16:36, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

Wait, did he say "I'm ''Bob'' McCartney?--[[User:Svek|Švek]] 17:32, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

lol Jackie said she likes the ROLLING STONES not the Beatles CHIRS! —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:PaperbackWriter|PaperbackWriter]] ([[User talk:PaperbackWriter|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/PaperbackWriter|contribs]])

Talk:100 2269

2010-10-08T05:54:03Z

Bealtespip122:

100 2269

2010-10-08T03:30:51Z

Bealtespip122:

[[File:paul-mccartney.jpg|thumb|Paul reacts]]
[[File:JohnFinger2.jpg|thumb|left|John Lennon is not pleased with Chris's faggotry.]]
'''100 2269''' is the second of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris has [[Gitar of Fail]] out again, but this time actually uses it to play The Beatles's "[[Wikipedia:A Day in the Life|A Day in the Life]]" on [[Wikipedia:The Beatles: Rock Band|The Beatles: Rock Band]]. In addition, he warbles tunelessly along with the track. He mentions Jackie at least once in the video, saying he will [[Rape|"turn her on"]]. Chris is wearing what appears to be a poorly done replica of a Sgt. Pepper costume, crafted in construction paper.

Thus far, Chris has [[Chris and Music|never shown any interest in the Beatles]], so it is reasonable to assume Chris did this for Jackie.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2269
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tGQjcZxXtZo}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2267]]
| next = [[100 2270]]
}}

===Transcription===

[[File:Mark David Chapman.jpg|thumb|Mark David Chapman killed one of the Beatles. Chris killed one of the Beatles' songs. Coincidence?]]

''[In a bad cockney accent]'' Hello loves, good evening there. I'm Paul McCartney and I'm going to sing you a song. It's "A Day In The Life". And it is a good day. In the life. Yeah. It's a day for livin', it's a beautiful day over here in [[Ruckersville, VA|Virginia]]. Rock on [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|England]]!

''[Mic effect]'' Good evening, loves.

''[Starts playing on the gitar]''

I'll read the news today oh boy 
About a luucky man who made the [[Honor Roll|grade]] 
And though the news was. b.. rather sad! 
I just had to laugh 
I saw the photograph 
He blew his mind out in the car 
He didn't notice that the lights had changed 
A crowd of people stood and [[The Creepy Stare|stared]] 
They'd seen his face before 
Nobody was really sure... he from... house of lords... the lords

I saw a film today oh boy 
The English army had just won the war 
A crowd of people turned away 
But I just had to look 
Haa..ving read the [[How to Talk to Girls|book]] 

I love to tuuuurn youuu oon...

Woo...

''[Chris misses many notes in the solo]''

Woke up, feell out of bed, dragged a comb across myy head... 
Found my way downstairs and drank a [[Fanta|cup]] 
And looking up I had a tickle...uh...huh...huh (?) 
Found my coat and grabbed my hat 
Made the bus in seconds flat 
Found my way upstairs and had a [[tobacky|smoke]], 
and Somebody spoke and said...eh...uh 

Aahhaaahhhhhahahaaaaaaahhh

I read the news today oh boy 
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire 
And though the holes were rather small 
They had to count them all 
Now they know how many holes to fill the Bert Hall 
I'd love to turn you on 

Yeah Jackie, [[For J-R's Eyes Only|I'd love to turn you on]] too girl. ''[Chuckles]''

''[Plays to the end, pointlessly hitting the whammy bar]''

Longest note you've ever heard, huh? I wish it would end already... Jeez, will ya end already ya dang note?

''[At 5:23 a high-pitched feedback noise can be heard, which lasts till the end of the video.]''

''[Goes to turn camera off]''

I'll spare you the sentiments.

==See also==
*[[100 2267]]
*[[100 2270]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2267]]|nextlink=[[100 2270]]}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Asperchu/Background

2010-10-01T19:22:15Z

Bealtespip122:

:''This article is about "Asperchu", a very well-thought-out webcomic. For Chris's views and such and all that, see [[Asperchu]].''

<center>{{#ev:youtube|fsKD1-cGzPc}}</center>

{{Quote|I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of rejection, tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love. Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic bizzaro [[Chris]].|An anon on [[/cwc/]], summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique.}}

{{quote|I detest "Asperchu", because one, it is a [[Parody]] of a [[Sonichu]] with [[aspergers]], which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like [[autism]], then the creator really knows nothing about Autism.|Chris on Asperchu, [[Mailbag 24]]}}

{{Protip|The Asperpedia is somewhat out of date — for the latest ''Asperchu'' pages, go to [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ asperchu.thecomicseries.com]}}

[[Image:AsperchuFanArt.png|thumb|That's right, '''Asperchu''' is so popular, it's fan art that has received fan art of itself]]

'''''Asperchu''''' (full title: ''The Amazing Asperchu''; also called ''Asperchu: The Amazing Tales'' and ''The Spectacular Asperchu'') is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' detailing the zany misadventures of [[Asperchu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] with [[Asperger syndrome]]. It can be read [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ here], its homepage is [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/ here].

''Asperchu'' pokes fun at everything that makes [[Chris]]'s ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic series what it is. Unlike the Sonichu comics, where everyone praises Chris for what he's done, the same cannot be said for Asperchu, whose descent into the same giant prick that Chris has become has the entire supporting cast detest him. Another thing that has earned the ire of Chris is its tablet-drawn style - this is, more or less, a delusional thing for Chris, who [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|believes that it doesn't have the same "character"]] as his paper and pencil drawn pages. The creator of this delightful series sometimes forgets to upload a page or two in chronological order, but this is due to his Asperger syndrome affecting his memory.

{{TOC limit|2}}

==Protagonists==

===Asperchu===
[[Image:Asperchu.jpg|thumb|left|150px|The Good, Godly, STRAIGHT Asperchu]]

Asperchu is a high-functioning Electric/Asperger's Hedgehog Pokémon. He has no Electric-type attacks; however, his Asperger's-type attacks do double damage against Autistic-type Pokémon. His strongest attack is the ''Asperhameha'', which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.

Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late 2003 and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on YouTube videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his [[Xbox]] 360 or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends Normandale Community College with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin. However, Asperchu's adventures and his recent state of mind has made him forget this detail and he has missed 195 days of school.

He is currently on a Love Quest to obtain a gal-pal who he can build into a sweetheart from the ground up. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart. Having been rejected, though, Asperchu has been spending most of his time absorbed in video games and won't go anywhere without his Xbox Portable. As well, Asperchu has an incredible dislike for [[slow-in-the-mind]]s.

For a long time, Asperchu's hope for his Love Quest was to be able to finally have his dream-daughter Asperia, which later became unnecessary when he traveled back in time and met the [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] of the past. Both of them drank the [[semen|Special Fanta Brew]] that created Sonichu in the past; when Asperchu returned to the present, he found that he too was pregnant and defecated out a deformed monster, naming it "Asperia". While at first ecstatic to have her, he later grew bored of taking care of her and tried leaving her in the care of his grandma while he continued playing video games. Asperia was killed by Bionic the Hedgehog.

Currently, Asperchu is being manipulated by a squirrel-creature calling itself "Rocky", telling Asperchu that he need never take responsibility for his actions. Unbeknownst to Asperchu, "Rocky" is one of the mysterious MIPS.

It has been revealed that the source of Asperchu's powers is the Chaos Pickle of Diligence, though Asperchu believed that he was GodJesus's next prophet.

*Asperchu is, of course, based on [[Christian Weston Chandler]]; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's [[Rollin' and Trollin']] phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the ego, narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the [[Love Quest]]. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent and [[naive]] Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a [[duck|prick]] as Chris has become. It even goes as far as to hypothesize what Chris would do with a child if his wish came true: reasonably, He would get tired of said child and neglect to take care of it.

===Sonichu===
[[Image:TheOtherAsperchu.jpg|thumb|150px|Asperchu's bestest joy-boy Sonichu, who eventually got his own spin-off comic due to the popularity of Asperchu]]

The brother, hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance. Or at least he ''was''...

Sonichu shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the Troll Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a late night snuggling rendezvous. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of the state of Virginia, on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of Asperger's Syndrome as a component of the Autism Spectrum. Or at least he ''did...''

Sonichu was created in 1999 by Ian Brandon Anderson through an unholy mixture of human and Chu semen with Fanta. At first, Ian was overjoyed at having a son of his own, especially one who'd be a loyal and true son, unlike Bionic. However, Ian got bored of trying to raise Sonichu, especially when it got into his video game playing time. Casting him into a raft, Sonichu floated down the river until he was found by Christian Weston Chandler, who raised Sonichu as his own son. When Ian Brandon Anderson took over CWCVille, Sonichu was forced to be married off to Rosechu, only for him and the rest of the Chaotic Combo to revolt. Arriving in ALBVille, he and the rest of the Chaotic Combo fought to free CWCVille from Ian's grips. However, the release of Metal Asperchu would change all that as he would slaughter most of the Combo. When Sonichu went to confront Ian at last, Metal Asperchu made short work of him, loping off his right arm. When Asperchu, Max and Jivin returned from the past, Asperchu revealed off-handedly that Ian was his father. Sonichu went on a quest to find the truth, only to end up with Mitch Chu dead. When Christian told Sonichu the truth, it drove Sonichu insane. He hunted down Ian as he was kidnapping Asperia and blew out his kneecaps, accidentally killing Asperia. Being captured by Bionic again, he provoked Sonichu into killing Ian for good. As a gift, he grafted Ian's arm where Sonichu's once was. When Argentum was released, he teleported Asperchu and Sonichu to the time when the 4-Cent_Garbage Center was destroyed, only for the hedgehog to tear apart the place. When Sonichu returns to the present, Sonichu attempts to call Asperchu a monster, but he feels himself unworthy of Chris's love and runs away.

While in self-imposed exile in Molvanîa, he finds himself possessed by the soul of Ian and, in fear, runs to Bionic for help. When Bionic can't help him, the two rescue Sinestro from his prison. However, not even Sinestro understands Sonichu's odd transformation, his fur turning blue, his eyes taking Ian's heterochromia styling, his cholesterol level skyrocketing and wanting to play the PS3 for 5 to 9 hours.

In an alternate universe of sorts, Sonichu is shown as an actual Sonic the Hedgehog-like character fighting an evil madman named CWC-Botnik.

At the end of Issue #F, Sonichu is no more, taken over by Ian's personality, becoming the dreaded ... '''Chris-Chan Sonichu'''.

===Max===
[[Image:Max.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Asperchu's plucky, polyurethane sidekick]]

Close friend of Asperchu and Jivin. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. His transformations include Guido, Nazi Commander, 2Pac and Yellow Devil.

At the funeral for the Chaotic Combo, it's revealed that Max is also a Christian minsiter.
*Max is a completely original character and is not derived from [[Wikipedia:Kirby_(character)|any source]] other than Alec Benson Leary's own imagination.

===Jivin Pickles===
[[Image:Jivin.jpg|thumb|150px|Aww, shit son, Asperchu just got GANGSTA all up in here]]

The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's black best friend who is black. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his Love Quest, although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward gal-pals, while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of Christmas, Jivin celebrates [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|Kwanzaa]]. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.

Jivin is a fan-favorite on Asperpedia that has received his own sub-episode, as well as two cameos in Isabel Monday's comic ''[[Fan:Capering Berries|Capering Berries]]''.

==Villains==

===Ian Brandon Anderson===
[[Image:IBAasperchu.png|thumb|150px|left|The evil and deceitful IAN BRANDON SOMETHING]]

Ian believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a fat, insane manchild. Ian rules CWCville through a totalitarian and Nazi-like regime, although the CWCville People's Liberation Front (CPLF) constantly fights against his oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a perverse form of "[[Dating Education|sexual education]]".

This recently changed after Ian's lengthy absence, leading to Mayorshack Tito's takeover and the return of justice to CWCville.

If he doesn't get his way, he uses his [[Megatron Pistol|Transformers gun]] to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris-chan, and also attempted to murder the "parodic" Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu and losing his Transformers gun, where it passes hands until it is given away by Noir Chu.

In 1999, Ian had created Bionic, but quickly lost interest in him as the hedgehog attempted to win over his love. Fired from his job at [[Wendy's]] by Giovanni, Ian discovered Asperchu and quickly became friends with him. He introduced him to his gal-pals Ivy and Megan before encountering his future self. The two fought and the younger Ian proved victorious. He attempted to have sex with the two before Megan tazered him. Trapped by the foppish Principal Blaziken, Bionic came to his aid, but Ian mistook Asperchu for the hero, breaking his creation in the process. He invites Asperchu to his house where he convinces Asperchu to surrender some of his [[comeuppance]] to create the Special Fanta Brew. Summoning [[Beel|Satan]] to his house after drinking the cup with their comeuppance, he has him use his satanic powers to turn them into a Sonichu inside his stomach. The younger Ian would encounter the older Ian, forcing the two to attack with their Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has, leading to Bionic being rendered how he is now. Disgusted by Bionic's perceived failure, Ian abandons Bionic and, 10 weeks later, gives birth to Sonichu. The birth, however, leaves his [[duck]] bent at a horrible angle. He later abandons Sonichu since taking care of him took away from his time playing video games, so he sent him on a raft hoping that he'd raise himself to become the son he wanted without putting any effort into it.

When the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler disappeared, Ian initiated a coup on CWCville, quickly gaining control. As the Asperchu series shares the same universe as ''[[Simonchu]]'' and ''[[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]]'', it is said that he was able to con the people into thinking he was the true Christian Weston Chandler. In short order, Ian ravaged the city, destroyed it's commerce center and driven or killed 70% of its population, placing the remaining citizens under martial law.

Years later, Ian reappeared, seeking to aid in the rescue of Asperchu, only to encounter the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler and be sat on fire by Metal Asperchu. Through various conversations, we learned that Ian had raped a number of Rosechu as well as Mitch Chu. When Metal Asperchu attacked, Ian took up a Son-Chu and battled it out, nearly winning until the robot took advantage of damage Simonchu inflicted. When the robot activated a time warp, he was tossed into the past and beaten by his past self. He attempted to fight again, only to encounter Max. He completely ignores Max's impassioned plea to stop fighting and races back to his house, encountering his younger self and set off the chain of events that would shunt him back into the present, where Metal Asperchu awaited. For a time, Ian was Bionic's prisoner, utterly unable to remember who he was. When Sonichu broke into his cell in an attempt to learn the truth of his past, Ian told him a fake story, only to be rejected by Sonichu. He attempted to escape with Sonichu, only to be captured in the process, passing out until the real Chris rescued everyone. Upon learning of Asperia, Ian sought to take her away because he feels that she is actually his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Upon attempting to spirit away Asperia, Sonichu blows out his kneecaps (accidentally killing Asperia) and is captured by Bionic. Bionic then uses the mentally unstable Sonichu to butcher his father. Ian finally meets his end with Sonichu's axe and Bionic's gun. As a reward, [[Metal Gear Solid|Bionic grafts Ian's right arm onto Sonichu's stump in place of the one he lost in Issue 3.]]

However, the soul of Ian lives on within Sonichu and whenever he takes over, he causes Sonichu's eyes to take its heterochromic styling.

*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] is a version of Chris based on the [[Liquid Chris]] saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris. Ian's death mirrors that of the deaths of Evan, Sean, and Mao in [[Sonichu 10]].

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
[[File:Bionicc.jpg|thumb|149px|Why don't you love me, father?]]
Ian Brandon Anderson's hedgehog creation. In 1999, Bionic was a jovial and [[homos|gay]] creature who encountered Jivin, Asperchu and Max after their time slip. They learned that he had sought to win Ian's love as the manchild slowly lost interest in other stuff other than [[ego|himself]] and [[china|women]]. When Bionic rescued Ian from Principal Blaziken, Ian mistook Asperchu as his savior and scolded Bionic, which broke him. Rescued by Jivin, but apparently lost his ability to speak (most likely swallowed his tongue), Bionic attempted to return to Ian, only to watch as his older self and younger self prepared to fire a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha on each other. Bionic saved an unwitting Asperchu from getting struck, only to be hit by the blasts. Losing an arm and being badly burned and scarred, Ian abandons him for his Sonichu. He attempts to get a job at McDonald's, but he is rejected by Robotnik. Rejected by his father and other lower forms, Bionic plots burning revenge against Ian.

Years later, Metal Asperchu would find him wheelchair-bound in a [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily-esque]] fortress. Bionic gave Metal Asperchu a Chaos Pickle as a sign of goodwill, then had him go after certain targets and kill them. Robotnik was first, killed for rejecting Bionic from McDonald's. Ian was the second target. When Metal Asperchu used the Chaos Pickles to create the time warp, he watched with joy as another robotic figure emerged. He finally managed to capture his father Ian Brandon Anderson (who forgot that Bionic was his first son and mistook him for another Sonichu parody), as well as his brother Sonichu. When the real Chris arrives to rescue Sonichu, he kills Mitch in cold blood before escaping.

Bionic returns and seemingly reveals his true master plan: by driving Sonichu insane through the revelation of his true parentage, he uses the broken Electric Hedgehog Pokémon to murder Ian Brandon Anderson; in essence, turning his favorite son against him. His plans for the body of the dead Asperia is currently unknown.

He attempted to help Sonichu with his strange transformation, but Sonichu stopped him and Sinestro, feeling this new form is much better. He is later called in to be a judge for Asperchu's trial.

*Bionic's condition is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:Christopher Pike|Christopher Pike]], the first captain of ''Star Trek's USS Enterprise'', with the exception that Bionic could still talk while Pike could only respond with light. His judge outfit resembles that worn by [[Wikipedia:Q (Star Trek)|Q]] in the ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek: The Next Generation|Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' series premiere, "[[Wikipedia:Encounter at Farpoint|Encounter at Farpoint]]" and again in the finale, "[[Wikipedia:All Good Things...|All Good Things...]]".
*Similarly, Bionic's crippled body, mobile life support system, mechanized speech, distorted eyes, and general air of malevolent mystery could be based on [[Wikipedia:Davros|Davros]], one of the main villains on ''[[Wikipedia:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]].''
*As well, Bionic's base is based off a [[dream]] Chris mentioned about people being killed in a "[[Mailbag_39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED]]" factory.

===Metal Asperchu===
Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo.

From there he goes and forms an alliance with the severely crippled Bionic the Hedgehog, doing random tasks like blowing up fast [[McDonald's|food restaurants]] and killing [[Robotnik|Teddy Roosevelt]]. Bionic then orders the robot to bring him Christian Weston Chandler as his final task. He confronts Ian and attempts to kill him, only to be damaged in the process. He uses the four Pickles he gathered to take a new form and banish Ian, Asperchu, Max and Jivin to another time. When the four return, Metal Asperchu has taken up a new form and easily captures Ian. After obtaining the fifth Chaos Pickle, he decides to hold off on number six until he can unlock his full database. Confronting Sinestro, he learns the truth of the fourth directive, then releases Yellow Devil, Cthulu Chu and Bubastis Chu before imprisoning Sinestro in one of the tubes. After killing Cthulu Chu, he figures out the secret of the Fourth Directive and forces Sinestro to watch his work finally unfold. However, after the creation of Argentum and his subsequent turning, Metal Asperchu has gone into a massive blue screen of death. Soon after, WesLi Chu gives Metal Asperchu a disk and he begins scanning seven individuals who are part of the Anchuent Prophecy. He scans Asperchu, WesLi Chu, Sonichu, Chris and two others (presumably Alzheichu and Dino Dash) before the heroes attack him in his attempt to get the last one. He kills Noir Chu and Aspercream and defeats many of the heroes before Alzheichu stabs him with Chris's knife, destroying the beast and releasing the Chaos Pickles.

* Based on [[Metal Sonichu]] who in turn is based on Metal Sonic.

===Other villains===

;Sinestro
As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well. After activating and losing Metal Asperchu, Sinestro has found himself pushed aside as the main villain before being locked up completely by his own creation. He was recently rescued by Sonichu and Bionic in an attempt to cure Sonichu's odd transformation.
*Sinestro's name comes from a [[Wikipedia:Sinestro|comic-book villain]], while his appearance is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Il Palazzo]] of ''[[Excel Saga]]'' (whose appearance was also copied by Chris for the character [[ScotPalazzo]]).

;Lisa
A girl who attends Normandale Community College. Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King and she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion. She has recently returned in an attempt to find and retrieve a disk that had been used by Metal Asperchu
*Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart [[Blanca]]. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion. Her asking him out on a fake date is based on the acts of proto-troll [[Hanna]].

;John and Kendra
John (YouTube handle: '''GJ-Radar''', "GJ" presumably standing for [[GodJesus]]) is a born-again Baptist from rural Texas; he and his fiancée '''Kendra''' traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's YouTube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded that he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a YouTube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.
* Based off the [[Singstar Challenge]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. John and Kendra most likely represent [[Liquid]] and [[Kacey]].

;Dino Dash/Clyde Cash
Dino Dash (called Clyde Cash in later issues) is the guido who kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.
*Dino Dash is based on [[Clyde Cash]].

;Count Plot Cohesuon
Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of ''dei ex machina''. According to Alec's comments on Issue 5E, Plot Cohesuon is Count Graduon's cousin and he's also dead, having used his powers on himself in an accident.
*Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of [[Count Graduon]] from the original Sonichu comic.

;Silvana Rosechu
The evil, hermaphroditic Rosechu from the Sonichu series. Even more evil and cunning, she appears to work for Ian Brandon Anderson. She murders Bubbles and Magi-Chan, then lures Asperchu towards Ian, where's she's forced to become [[Meg Griffin]] for Ian's pleasure. She also has a noticeable bulge.

;Yellow Devil
A leftover from Dr. Wily's usage, the Yellow Devil now works for Bionic, capturing Sonichu and Ian as they attempt to escape. It crushes Mitch Chu's legs, smacks Jivin around and fights Max before he is defeated by the real Chris.
*Based on the [[List_of_Mega_Man_characters#Bio-Devil|Yellow Devil]] from the ''Megaman'' game series.

==Supporting characters==

===Asperchu's family===

;Grandpa Alzheichu
Asperchu's grandfather, an [[racist|old-fashioned]] Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do [[stress]]ful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Grandma Snorlax. Alzheichu sacrifices himself to stop Metal Asperchu's assault.
*Alzheichu is based on [[Bob Chandler]].

;Grandma Snorlax

Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu. Lost her left foot due to Asperia's hunger.
*"[[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]]" is the nickname given to [[Barbara Chandler]].

;Asperia Chu

The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]] in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger. Asperia finally became a reality as a side effect of Past Chris's plans to become pregnant with Sonichu. When Asperchu craps her out in the present, he fails to realize what a disfigured abomination she really is. Asperchu quickly gets bored of her and, instead of taking care of her, stuffs her in the fridge or leaves her with sleeping Grandma Snorlax.

In one of Asperchu's daydreams of Asperia, she's seen wearing a bikini top and a thong underneath a skirt. This is likely mirroring Chris's [[pedofork]] tendencies. He also describes her as "the pinnacle of his existence", attributing to his own narcissism.

Sadly, Asperia is the latest victim of Ian Brandon Anderson's evils. Having been kidnapped by the madmanchild, she is accidentally killed by a vengeful Sonichu in his attempts to get back at him. However, Bionic recovers her body, and it is heavily implied he has plans for her since he sympathizes with having a neglectful father.

*Asperia Chu is based on [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]. As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her "father's." As well, Asperia's [[Wikipedia:Alien (creature in Alien franchise)|"Alien" appearance]] may be a jab at the [[Sonee and Rosey]] designs which have horrified many.

===[[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)|The Chaotic Combo]]===
*'''Wild Sonichu''' is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.

*'''Angelica Rosechu''' uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.

*'''Punchy Sonichu''' is the master of the "anshuent Chinaman martial arts." He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.

*'''Bubbles Rosechu''' is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group. She is extremely [[retarded|slow-in-the-mind]] and is prone to injuring herself in the process.

*'''Magi-Chan Sonichu''' uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and [[Mass debate]] to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon. He also seems to have a thing for Simonchu as well.

Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu. Bubbles and Magi-Chan are later murdered by Silvana.

===Christian Weston Chandler===
[[Image:RealcwcAsperchu.png|thumb|150px|The TRUE and HONEST CWC (also the true and honest medallion)]]

Sonichu's father and creator, Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. He helped to reform CWCville after the war with Albville under the reign of his father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert "The Lumberjack" Chandler]] and restored peace before Ian's hostile takeover. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.

In Issue 4, it's revealed that he raised Sonichu since as far back as he could remember, and trained him how to fight and WHEN to fight. However, during the time travel episode, Asperchu shed's light on the mayors past that puts Sonichu's biological parentage in doubt. The hedgehog now seeks Chris to try to find out the truth of his parentage. Instead, Chris finds them, rescuing them from Bionic, though not before Bionic kills Mitch. It is revealed in Issue 5 that Chris found Sonichu abandoned in a cardboard box and raised the Hedgehog Pokémon to be the creature who he was now.

It's been revealed that Chris is the avatar of the Chaos Pickle of Patience.

*Christian Chandler is based on [[Liquid Chris]]. The knife he carries is based on [[Sonichu Special 4]].

===Argentum===

The end result of Metal Asperchu's experiments, it is the Asperchu clone that has its fourth directive unlocked. It has the ability to warp space time and seems to be capable of feeding of the pain of others.

*Argentum's design is a mixture of the Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]] and Sonic the Hedgehog character [[Wikipedia:Silver the Hedgehog|Silver the Hedgehog]]. His name is Latin for "silver".

===Other characters===
;Heaven Fatterton

Lisa's accomplice and a fat ginger. She pretends to be Lisa during Asperchu's date so that she can steal the Asperchu medallion while Lisa films the date for blackmail. When her wig falls of, Asperchu is to dense to realize she's a phony and instead thinks there's two Lisas when the real Lisa shows up. Heaven has a thinner, bustier sister named Hortense who was killed by [[Bob Chandler]] for getting close to Chris-Chan.

;[[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Chu]]

Sonichu's cousin. He's a [[Homos|gay]] hairstylist, and his catch-phrase is "Razzle-dazzle". When problems arose during Metal Asperchu's attack, Sonichu called in Mitch to watch over Jivin and his dad, who were attacked by the robot. He ended up giving Jivin a new hairdo. Later he helps reform Asperchu clone Noir Chu by having him volunteer at an Albville soup hotel. In issue 3, it is implied that Ian raped Mitch when he was a Sonee. He also has two fathers. In Issue 4, he agrees to join Sonichu on his quest to find his real father. When he attempts to rescue Sonichu from Bionic's clutches, his legs are crushed by the Yellow Devil, pinned to a wall crucifix-style, then shot through the chest before the real Chris can save him.

Mitch also appears as Sonichu's guide through the wonderful world of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]] in ''[[Fan: Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]''.

*Mitch Chu is based on [[Mitch Sonichu]], Chris's take on Asperchu's "EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER" in [[Sonichu 10]]. He was made into a gay stylist as a logical conclusion to said makeover.

;Simonchu

Although [[Simonchu]] stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion. He is rendered grief-stricken when Metal Asperchu killed Wild, allowing him to be taken advantage of by Rosechu. In Issue 4, Simonchu agrees to join Sonichu in trying to find his real father.

;Dixie Chu

The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining "Dix" as his sweetheart. She recently returned to testify against Asperchu in his trial

* Dixie Chu is based off a number of Chris's [[gal-pals]], but is probably more centered on [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Kacey]].

;Jonas Chu

Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by "cheating" by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.

He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.

* May have been based off the events from [[CWC More Than A Feeling]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. His waistcoast and name derive from the [[Wikipedia:Jonas brothers|Jonas brothers]].

;Denubius King

His only appearance is in the Jivin sub-episode. He is a [[niggo|black]] kingpin in pimp attire and carries a pimp cane with an afro on it, called the "Staff of Suffrage". He kidnaps Jivin's father and tries to steal the Pickles family farm to get his hands on the Chaos Pickle they're guarding, but is foiled by Jivin.

;Bullet-Time Montgomery.

First appeared in the Jivin Sub-Episode. He works for Denubius King and is a crack-shot with a revolver. Denubius orders him to kill Jivin, but Jivin knocks him out with "Deus ex BLACKina". He later reappears as a juror at Asperchu's trial.

;[[Rosechu]]
Sonichu's sweetheart. She is seen comforting Simonchu at the funeral for Wild, Punchy and Angelica. Jivin is shown to have sexual fantasies of her. After the funeral, she tells Simonchu that she [[pickle|can satisfy his needs]], which pisses off Magi-Chan. Rosechu later confronts Simonchu and seduces him. It's later revealed that Rosechu cheats on Sonichu all the time; she's also banged Punchy, Naitsirhc, and even Dino Dash. She is later used as a gamble chip to win back Sonichu, but it proves ineffective.

*Rosechu's transgenderism parodies the constant call-out to Chris concerning Rosechu's gender, especially after events in the [[Mailbag]].

;Whispy Sonichu

Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin. Appears at the Chaotic Combo's funeral, barely affected by his cousin's death. Despite being Oriental, Whispy speaks Spanish.

;Larry D. Waltz

Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with [[niggos|an African-American]] in exchange for a mysterious disc. When the disk is later stolen by WesLi Chu, he appoints Lisa to get it back. He nearly gets his head taken off by one of Asperchu's Asper-Ha-Me-Has.
*Larry is based on [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has a resemblance to [[Jimmy Hill]].

;Sitting Chu

Sitting Chu is the head of ALBville's only Soup Hotel. He welcomes those who need refuge with open arms, but he isn't beyond kicking people out, as he did with Asperchu.
*Sitting Chu is based off of the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]].

;Jimarcus Chu

A friend of Mitch Chu's. He was a veteran of the Jamaican war, and currently works at the Albville Soup hotel (they only need one) to help CWCville refugees. He's accepting of Noir Chu and helps him adjust, though he, too, is not thrilled by Asperchu's self-centeredness.
*Jimarcus Chu is loosely based on [[Inos]]. His name is derived from [[Wikipedia:Jamaica|Jamaica]] and [[Wikipedia:Marcus Garvey|Marcus Garvey]].

;[[Doctor Robotnik]]

It seems that the once-feared nemesis of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] has fallen on hard times, now working as a cashier at a [[McDonald's]]. He promptly kicks Asperchu out of the restaurant when he attempts to ''seriously'' pay for a $31 meal with food stamps worth $10. He is then killed by Metal Asperchu for his crimes against Bionic.

;Megan and Ivy

Two of the younger Ian's [[gal-pals]]. When the younger Ian defeats his future self in pathetic combat, he attempts to have [[hanky panky]] only to be tazed by Megan.

* Megan and Ivy are based off of [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Ivy]].

;Principal Blaziken
The overly homosexual principal of Ian's high school. His actions lead Ian to call for help and is killed by Bionic, only for Ian to mistake Asperchu to be the hero.
* Principal Blaziken is based off [[Sonichu 10]]'s Marvey Blaziken and is reminiscent of the principal from Chris's elementary school.

;[[Sammy]]
A hat-wearing, bespectacled individual resembling Chris. Rambles in [[Random-access humor|odd phrases]]. Metal Asperchu obliterates him and everything around him after getting the fifth Chaos Pickle. He later returns, alive and well, as a cushion for Asperchu's fall.
*While he is obviously modeled after [[Sammy]] from ''Sonichu'' (who was in turn a ripoff of [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]), he's also taken on some traits from ''Homestar Runner'' character Homsar, who wore a yellow bowler hat and spouted "word salads" and non-sequiturs (which turned out to simply be his native language), such as "All aboard the Gravy Train!"

;Bubastis Chu
Asperchu clone number 18. Originally just another extra for Sinestro's Forte Grosse, Bubastis Chu rose in popularity when she featured in Isabel Monday's [[Capering Berries]] in a spinoff comic. All of her comics are jokes based on the comic/film ''Watchmen'', and she generally annoys her two fathers Sinestro and Larry. Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu are later released by Metal Asperchu in the Asperchu comics.

;[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]
Has a brief cameo appearance during Ian's daydreams. According to her Asperpedia article, Ian, believing himself to be Chris, thought Crystal Weston Chandler was his sister. And being the massive [[Chris and ego|narcissist]] that he is, believed that his ideal partner was [[incest|his closest genetic match]]. Failing to seduce his faux-sister, he instead named his dream daughter after her. Believing Asperia was really Crystal, Ian became jealous of Asperchu. Like Asperia, she wears a [[Pedofork|thong]].
*Crystal is obviously based on his imaginary daughter, but in a humorous twist, looks like Chris's comic drawing of his sister. Thus, the circle of incest is complete.

;Mayorshack Tito
The new democratically-elected mayor of [[CWCville]] after the dethronement of Ian Brandon Anderson. Tito has been tremendously successful in restoring the city to its former glory, bringing life back to the desolate wasteland. Asperchu, for some reason, thinks he's [[niggo|black]].
*Mayorshack Tito is based on the troll [[Surfshack Tito]], who gets his name from Tito Makani Jr. of ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. Mayorshack Tito's appearance is also based on Tito Makani Jr.

;Noir Chu and Aspercream
[[File:Noir.jpg|thumb|Noir is fed up with this shit.]]
Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man named DeShaunn into the mix. However, DeShaunn's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream. Noir Chu would confront Asperchu and, confused by his memories, would be lead to the Albville Soup Hotel, where he would find his calling there. After being banished by Sinestro for losing Noir Chu, Aspercream ran off to Albville where she was reunited with Noir. When Sonichu ran off to find Ian, Noir Chu takes Asperchu to find and stop them, with Aspercream pleading not to get hurt, SOMEHOW knowing that it was Asperchu who got Magi-Chan killed. Both Noir Chu and Aspercream are wounded in Metal Asperchu's rampage, but survive.
* Noir Chu is based on [[Blake]]. Aspercream resembles [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]].

;Princess [[Julie]]

One of the members of the [[Molvanîa]]n Royal Family. She and the others have strong ties with the Rebels of CWCVille.

* Princess Julie is based off of the infamous troll of the same name. Her design, however, is based off of [[Wikipedia: Bobby Hill|Bobby Hill]] of ''King of the Hill''.

;[[Crackder]]

One of Ian's attempts at making sentient war machines. However, it is slow-in-the-mind, rambles off random-access humor and is against war. Asperchu hates him because he's a slow-in-the-mind.

*Crackder is based off of the Decepticon Chris created of the same name.

;[[Yawning Squirtle]]

We don't know how the hell he got off the [[Moon]], but he's off of it and still smoking it up. It was revealed that he was Mayorshack Tito's opponent in the CWCville elections, and currently works as an attorney. His hated rival is Lewis Croagunk, who opposed him in Asperchu's trial.

;[[Mimms]] and Lucas

Two patrons of the Brass Dragon. Mimms sports a wicked green 'fro.

*Both Mimms and Lucas are based off of the CWC informants who frequented the GAMe PLACe. Lucas's design resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Lucas (Mother)|the character of the same name from the ''Mother'' series]].

;[[Rocky]]

A mysterious squirrel with green antenna. He calls Asperchu "dum-dum" and tries to steer him in the opposite direction to make him blameless. In actuality, Rocky is MIPS 09, attempting to steer Asperchu into fulfilling the Anchuent Prophecy.
*While Rocky's design and speech resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Rocky the Flying Squirrel|Rocky the Flying Squirrel]] of the ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' cartoons and [[Wikipedia:The Great Gazoo|The Great Gazoo]] of ''The Flintstones'', the creature is also a parody of [[Rocky Shoemaker]], Chris's pastoral counsellor (although the real Rocky is not as indulgent as the ''Asperchu'' Rocky).

;[[Jimmy Hill]]

Ruler of Molvanîa and Princess Julie's father. Enjoys playing Pokémon trading-card games. When he finds out of Julie's capture, he opts to move out to save her.

*Jimmy Hill resembles the old man used in the earlier Chris trolling schemes, but his mannerisms match more of Hank Hill of ''King of the Hill''.

;Lewis Croagunk

The prosecutor for Asperchu's trial. It is revealed that he is old rivals with Yawning Squirtle and he seems to be a very competent lawyer. Oddly, for a Croagunk, he has a human's head.

*Lewis Croagunk may be a parody of Chris's various court-based characters from ''Sonichu 10''.
*[[Wikipedia:Croagunk|Croagunk]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].

;Prison inmates

A gathering of the biggest, baddest villains and other faces from various TV shows, including Skullmaster of ''Mighty Max'', Krang from the 1980s ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' cartoons, Tohru and his sidekick from ''Jackie Chan Adventures'' and an assortment of Pokémon (most notably a rapist Poliwrath).

;Warden Clawdorf

Warden of the prison Asperchu is locked up in. He's a real [[niggos|black]] [[duck|dick]].

*[[Clawdorf]] is [[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s archnemesis in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] who appears only in a silhouette, which inadvertently resembles a penis with arms. ''Asperchu'' Clawdorf parodies this.

;Gumby

One of children's lovable creations was an inmate in the jail after accidentally killing a child inside a book. He had converted to Christianity and attempted to do so with Asperchu, but only got him to create his own Bible with him as the Son of God. He is wiped from existence after Asperchu leaves him inside his book.
*[[Wikipedia:Gumby|Gumby]] was a [[REAL Protest against the FAKE|C-L-A-Y]] character created by Art Clokey.
;Asperchoso

Asperchu's avatar in his "Second Greatest Story Ever Told". The paragon of manliness and a Son of God, he prevents others from getting girlfriends by blowing their kneecaps out.

*Asperchoso's name is derived from the Rabbichosos from [[Vivian Gee]]'s "[[The Girl Who Took Down The World]]" story. His actions are similar to Chris's in [[Sonichu Special 4]], when he blows Liquid Chris's kneecaps off.

;Poliwrath

A hardened criminal who tried to [[rape|make Asperchu his bitch]] upon his arrival. However, after Asperchu and Gumby escaped into Asperchu's book, he quickly became a convert to Asperchu's "religion".
*[[Wikipedia:Poliwrath|Poliwrath]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].

===4-Cent_Garbage Center residents===

;[[Naitsirhc]]

Naitsirhc has a brief cameo in the 4-Cent_Garbage Center that Argentum recreates. He is seen alongside [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. He attempts to get Sonichu to calm down, but ends up getting his neck snapped by the hedgehog.

*Unbelievably, Naitsirhc in Asperchu looks ''[[Homos|even gayer]]'', as he sports earrings and crotchless chaps.

;[[Mary Lee Walsh]]

Another one of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. When Sonichu tears apart the building, she and Count Graduon go and unleash Joshua Martinez.

*Mary's design in Asperchu borrows largely from ''[[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|Final Fantasy VIII]]'' villain Ultimecia.

;[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
Owner of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. His appearance is identical to that in Sonichu. When he confronts ''Sonichu'', he is killed in the same manner Rosechu attacked him.

;[[Clyde Cash]]
Clyde makes a very brief cameo in Ian's dream in Issue 4, where he's demonstrating his dominance over said troll. It is likely this scene was inspired by [[:Image:325504_-_Chris-chan_clyde_cash.jpg|this piece of fanart.]] According to Asperpedia's article on Clyde, he, [[Brian Bash]] and Dino Dash were all part of an elite government task force at one point in the past. Clyde Cash makes another appearance, this time in the 4-Cent Garbage tower. When Plautistic captures Sonichu, Clyde and Jack go to finish Sonichu. Clyde is shown wearing Spider-Man's pants and boots and is able to shoot webbing from his hands.

*Clyde's design is based off of the picture Chris found of Clyde (actually a photo of Joe Hotti). His having Spider-Man powers is based off of [[No More Jokes|the set of videos trying to troll Clyde]].

;[[Jack Thaddeus]]
Seen in the 4-Cent Garbage Tower alongside Clyde Cash. His appearance is similar to that in Sonichu. He uses the Goblin Glider and Pumpkin Bombs of [[Wikipedia:Norman Osborn|the Green Goblin]].

;[[Count Graduon]]
One of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent Garbage Tower. His appearance resembles a [[duck|penis]]. When Sonichu tears apart the building, he and Mary Lee Walsh free Joshua Martinez. When the creature is destroyed, Joshua tosses him aside.

;Chief Boyd
One of the heads of the COProtectors. Is brutally murdered by Sonichu.
*Based on the [[Jerkhief]] from ''Sonichu''; "COProtectors" is an inversion of "[[jerkop]]".

;[[Bagget]]
Head of security at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. A no-nonsense type of guy, Bagget tries to get Asperchu to reveal where Sonichu is before the hedgehog confronts the two of them. Sadly, Bagget falls to Sonichu.

;[[Wall of Originals|Plautistic]]
A mysterious creature held by those within the 4-Cent Garbage Building bonded with Joshua Martinez When Sonichu goes on a rampage, Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon release it. The creature resembles the mythical creature Hydra. Its leaves can be smoked as a type of [[Tobacky|drug]].

;[[Joshua Martinez]]
A Mexican who was once bonded with Plautistic. In the heat of battle, Sonichu tears him from Plautistic, then tears his head off.

;[[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wesli Chu]]
A hedgehog working within the 4-Cent Garbage Building. ACTUALLY knows magic, including his own [[Anchuent]] power, Wes-Li-Ha-Me-Ha. He's such a manly man, he can even make full-on [[Megagi|bull dykes]] crave his [[duck]]. After escaping the destruction of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, the MIPS made him give a data CD to Metal Asperchu. Shortly after, his memory was wiped. It has been revealed that he holds the Chaos Pickle of Chastity.

;[[Giovanni]]
The feared leader of [[Team Rocket]] and gym leader of Viridian City has another job: manager at Wendy's. He was seen in 1999, firing Ian Brandon Anderson after he fell asleep on the job, then promised that he'd never work in the city again. Years later, he takes up residence at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. When his son is killed by Sonichu's hand, he confronts Sonichu, using a small army of Pokémon to stop him. Sonichu uses said Pokémon to kill Giovanni, mostly by impaling him with them.

;[[CADD Chef]]

Killed in the destruction of 4-cent.

;[[Michael Snyder]]
A Jewish magician working for the MIPS. He also runs [[The GAMe PLACe|The Brass Dragon]] and is frustrated by Sonichu's attempts to trade a rare Black Lotus card with a ''Pokémon Ruby'' cartridge. He was responsible for helping Jack and Clyde escape.

;MIPS

Self-aware supercomputers that help run 4-Cent. Michael Snyder reports directly to them and contacts them by pickle-phone. He asks them to help evacuate the building, but they claim they're using up all their resources to [[100 2178|control the realtors]]. They are capable of meeting anywhere, including in space. They are keenly interested in fulfilling the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
*MIPS are a personification of Chris's paranoid belief in a [[100 2178|conspiracy by the Greene County school board]] to keep his family in Ruckersville so he can stay in his "autistic shell". MIPS is speculated to stand for "[[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Men In Pickle Suits]]".

;[[ScotPalazzo]]

Killed in the destruction of 4cent.

;[[Megagi]] Chu
A purple lesbian skunk who broke Sonichu's heart in the past and has orgies with Saramah Chu, Jiggliami and even Wes-Li. Is killed with Saramah Chu's torn off arms, taunting him to then end.

;[[Sarah Hammer|Saramah Chu]]
A yellow Rosechu who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. Her arms are ripped off, the trauma killing her. However, after the destruction of Metal Asperchu, her Chaos Pickle, Temperance, returned to her and revived and restored her.

;[[Jiggliami]]
A pink Jigglypuff humanoid who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. She is killed when Sonichu punches through her head.

===Chaos Pickles===

The Chaos Pickles are seven magical items of great power. According to Chris, the pickles are within seven special people and, should they be removed, they enable its user to be revived and restored once they are freed again. The avatars are Christian Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, Asperchu, Saramah Chu, Wesli Chu, Megan and Lovely Weather.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Image
!Color
! Trait
! Location
!Avatar
|-
|[[File:Pickle-violet.jpg|50px]]
|Violet
|tttt
|Owned by the Pickles family; stolen by Metal Asperchu
|aaaa
|-
|[[File:Pickle-blue.jpg|50px]]
|Blue
|tttt
|Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu
|aaaa
|-
|[[File:Pickle-green.jpg|50px]]
|Light green
|tttt
|Owned by Flame the Sunbird; stolen by Metal Asperchu
|aaaa
|-
|[[File:Pickle-pink.jpg|50px]]
|Pink
|Charity
|Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu in return for murdering Robotnik
|Megan
|-
|[[File:Pickle-orange.jpg|50px]]
|Orange
|tttt
|Owned by Sammy; stolen by Metal Asperchu
|aaaa
|-
| –
|''Unknown''
|Diligence
|Inside Asperchu
|Asperchu
|-
| –
|''Unknown''
|Patience
|Inside Lovely Weather
|Lovely Weather
|}

*The Chaos Pickles parody the [[Sonichu Balls]].

==Locations==

===Alzheichu's Home===
This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, back-breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an [[Hex Bawx|XBox 360]], which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu. The house's frame is under constant [[stress]], since Grandma Snorlax is always up against it.
* A parody of [[Tour of Chris's house|Chris's house]].

===The Brass Dragon===
A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart. Michael Snyder runs the shop. Asperchu is now officially banned from the store for trying to steal a rare card.
* This is a parody of [[The GAMe PLACe]].

===Pickles Ranch===
Home of Jivin and Dick Pickles, who owned a Chaos Pickle before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.
*Resembles the Skywalker farm from [[Wikipedia:Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope|''Star Wars'']].

===[[CWCville]]===
Before and after Ian Brandon Anderson's reign as mayor, CWCville was a peaceful, beautiful city with flowering fields and a happy populace. Under Ian, however, it turned into a dictatorship that wiped out 70% of the population, all of whom were found distasteful by the mayor. Women are forced into [[dating education|brothels]] as early as Junior High School, and all remaining occupations are in the mayor's mall. The environment was destroyed by his dark energy and the pollution of state Orange Soda factories. An army of Sonichu Nazis carry out the mayor's will and are as intolerant and depraved as he is. Fortunately, thanks to the reconstruction effort, most of the damage has been reversed. Democracy has also been returned thanks to [[Liquid|Chris's]] efforts, and [[Surfshack Tito|Mayorshack Tito]] won the first CWCville election in years.

===Albville===
Neighboring town to CWCville and Asperchu's hometown. Unlike CWCville, it is under a democratic system and accepts people of all races, orientations and creeds. In fact, they receive many CWCville refugees, who are well taken care of in the Albville soup hotel (they only need one). It allied with [[Evan|ECGville]] during a brief war with old [[CWCville|RFCville]] and has since maintained good relations with the town. Founded by Alec Benson Leary, who has since disappeared in [[Sonichu 10|mysterious circumstances]].

===Bionic's fortress===
[[Bionic]]'s base of operations, which was abandoned when [[Liquid|Chris]] came to Sonichu's rescue.
*Based on [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily's]] fortress, as well as Chris's dream of a [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED factory]] where [[Tobacky|smokers]] were murdered.

===[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent_Garbage Center]]===
The remnants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, which was destroyed by Ian, are still being cleaned up by CWCville's citizens. Originally the economic center of the city, it also contained many of Ian's [[trolls|"Undesirables"]] and he [[Twin Falling Towers|flew his mouse-pointer plane into the building]] to destroy it. Many lives were lost, and to this day is considered "Ian's most terrible legacy". Argentum brings Sonichu and Asperchu to the restored Center, where Sonichu climbs the building to confront his father. It is revealed that Ian's airplane did jack shit and it was Sonichu's Roaring Rampage of Revenge that caused the destruction in the first place. Ian was probably blamed for it because he was the only one still alive to take the blame. It is also revealed that it was destroyed during the Chaotic Funeral.
*The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is a combination of [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu_10#Rage_Against_the_Garbage_2:_Electric_Boogaloo|Rage Against the Garbage 2]] and an infamous Chris video mocking [[Clyde]] by comparing him to [[Twin Falling Towers|the destruction of the World Trade Center]].

===Molvanîa===

An oddball East European country. Home of the MIPS and the survivors of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center survivors.
*[[Molvanîa]] was the home of [[Julie]] and [[Max]], named after a fictional East European country created by Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch.

==Issues==
Thus far, sixteen issues (and one Sub-Episode) of ''Asperchu'' have been released. The confusing issue numbering (0–0A–0B–C–1–2–3–3D–4–5–5E–6–7–8–F–Ten) is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which began its issue numbering with [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and then complicated the matter with numbered "Episodes" and "Sub-Episodes" (so [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] is the fourth issue, and contains Episodes 10 and 11 and Sub-Episode 4).
===List of issues===

{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Cover
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot summary
|-
| [[File:a0.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #0
|''ASPERCHU'S First Date... and his first villain!''
| Asperchu goes on a date with Lisa, and is tricked into having his medallion stolen. ''First appearance of Asperchu, Max, Jivin Pickles, Lisa, Heaven.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 0A Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Issue 0A
| ''The challenge of TRUE Piety''
| Asperchu makes a video attacking the trolls, provoking the ire of Christian couple Kendra and John. Grandpa Alzheichu refuses to let Jivin enter his house. John confronts Asperchu over his unChristian attitudes; Asperchu retaliates by forging a new medallion. Lisa tells John that she stole the original medallion. ''First appearance of Grandpa Alzheichu, Sitting Chu, Jormungand.'' ''Only appearance of Calvin, Kendra, John, Micah, Benny Chu, W.E.B. Dubois, various Normandale students.''
|-
| [[File:JIVIN_Issue_0_Page_1.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="black" height="10px"|
| Jivin Sub-Episode
| ''Jivin's first solo adventure!''
| Jivin's father is captured by Denubius King, but Jivin rescues him. It turns out that the Pickles family owns one of the fabled Chaos Pickles. ''First appearance of Dick Pickles, Bullet-Time Montgomery.'' ''Only appearance of Denubius King.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 0B Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue 0B
| ''Swords and Axes... the Duel of Ages!''
| Jonas Chu defeats Asperchu in a ''Guitar Hero'' tournament, then is kidnapped by Dino Dash. Jivin fails to seduce Dixie. Asperchu makes a weak attempt at impersonating Jonas on YouTube, then fails to prevent Dixie's abduction. ''First appearance of Grandma Snorlax, Sonichu, Dixie Chu, Dino Dash, Sinestro, Jonas Chu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue C Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue C
| ''Things are coming to a head!''
| Asperchu is kidnapped by Sinestro, who has created many Asperchu clones. ''First appearance of Christian Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, Metal Asperchu.'' ''Only appearance of Autischu, Down Chu, XXY Chu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 1 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Issue #1
| ''The big leagues.''
| Metal seizes Simonchu's drill medallion. Sonichu introduces Asperchu to the Chaotic Combo, and Magi-Chan enters a trance in order to track down Metal - but Asperchu makes him find Dixie instead. Wild tells of the oppression wreaked by Mayor Anderson. Metal takes the first Chaos Pickle from the Pickles family. Sinestro creates Noir Chu and (accidentally) Aspercream. The Combo fight Metal Asperchu, who kills three of them and then finds the second Pickle in a mysterious skull-shaped factory. ''First appearance of Simonchu, Bubbles, Larry D. Waltz, Magi-Chan, Noir Chu, Aspercream, Mitch Chu.'' ''Only appearance and death of Punchy, Angelica, and Wild.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 2 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #2
| ''The quest for the Chaos Pickles continues.''
| The funeral of Punchy, Angelica and Wild takes place. Metal Asperchu forces the second Chaos Pickle from Bionic, who tells him the owner of the third Pickle: Flame the Sunbird. Rosechu and Simonchu hook up at the funeral (despite Magi-Chan's love for Simonchu), while a confused Noir Chu confronts his clone-brother Asperchu. Mitch Chu brings Noir and Asperchu to Sitting Chu's Soup Hotel in ALBville, where Noir gives up his gun and they meet the Basement Rosechus. Asperchu is kicked out for eating the homeless's food, and attempts to buy a McDonald's meal with food stamps. Metal kills Robotnik in return for Bionic giving him the fourth Chaos Pickle. Silvana murders Bubbles and hacks into Magi-Chan's computer. Bionic then asks that Metal Asperchu bring him Christian Weston Chandler - alive. ''First appearance of Rosechu, Bionic, Silvana.'' ''Only appearance of Whispy, Thomas Jefferson, Flame the Sunbird, Jimarcus Chu, Officer Louis Perez, Moe Chu, Brit-Tay Rosechu, Mary Rosechu, Rosee.'' ''Only appearance and death of Ivo Robotnik.'' ''Death of Bubbles.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 3 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #3
|'' Taking the battle to the enemy.''
| Sinestro and Waltz unsuccessfully interrogate Aspercream to find out Noir Chu's location. Sonichu 'n' pals try to liberate CWCville. Magi-Chan is murdered by Silvana, who brings Asperchu to Ian Brandon Anderson. Sonichu, Mitch and Simonchu confront IBA, but then Metal breaks in and cuts off Sonichu's hand. Ian enters his Son-Chu suit and fights back. He cripples Metal Asperchu, but is then is set on fire by Metal and thrown from his tower. Metal then activates his four Chaos Pickles and takes on a new form. ''Only appearance of IBA's legion of Sonichus.'' ''Last appearance of Silvana.'' ''Death of Magi-Chan.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 3D Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #3D
| ''Travel through the third dimension... Time!''
| Asperchu, Max and Jivin have been sent back to 1999. 1999-Ian takes them to Manchester High School, and beats up the modern IBA. Bionic then appears and talks to the trio. 1999-Ian molests Ivy, is tasered by Megan and then meets Blaziken, who tries to molest him. Bionic kills Blaziken, but Asperchu claims credit. A distraught Bionic attempts suicide, but Jivin saves him. 1999-Ian mixes Asperchu's comeuppance with his own to create Sonichu. The two Ians then fight, their Curse-ye-ha-me-has crossing to knock our heroes back to their own time. In 2000, Ian gives birth to Sonichu, while in the modern day, Metal Asperchu confronts Asperchu and Ian. ''First appearance of Bill the Scientist, Megan.'' ''Only appearance of Ian's boss, Ivy, Satan.'' ''Only appearance and death of Principal Blaziken.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 4 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Issue #4
| ''Metal and glass...''
| Asperchu reveals to Sonichu than Ian is his true father. Metal Asperchu takes the fifth Chaos Pickle from Sammy. Asperchu craps out Asperia. Metal demands that Sinestro tell him what the "fourth directive" is. Sonichu, Simonchu and Mitch break into Ian's cell in order to find Sonichu's true origin. Simonchu is captured by Bionic. Asperia eats Grandma Snorlax's foot. Max defeats the Yellow Devil, then Christian Weston Chandler arrives. Bionic shoots Mitch and flees. ''First appearance of Yellow Devil, Cthulhu Chu, Sammy.'' ''Only appearance of Bubastis Chu.'' ''Death of Mitch Chu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 5 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #5
| ''The end of one, beginning of another.''
| Ian Brandon Anderson realizes that Asperchu was the part-creator of Sonichu. Mayorshack Tito is the new Mayor of CWCville - CWC shows Asperchu the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, and tells Sonichu that Ian is his real father. In a rage, Sonichu hunts down his father, shooting Ian in both knees. The Yellow Devil captures Sonichu, Noir Chu and Asperchu, and brings them to Bionic. Metal Asperchu realizes that the "fourth directive" will work on an immature Asperchu clone. Bionic goads Sonichu into killing IBA, and he accidentally shoots Asperia. Metal creates Argentum, who rebuilds the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Sonichu climbs the 4-Cent_Garbage Center in order to gain revenge on his father. ''First appearance of Argentum, Slaweel the Witch, Naitsirhc, Jack Thaddeus, Mayorshack Tito, Jason Kendrick Howell.'' ''Death of Cthulhu Chu, Ian Brandon Anderson, Asperia.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 5E Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #5E
| ''A bloody fight.''
| Sonichu fights his way up the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, killing Naitsirhc, Jerkops, Jason Kendrick Howell and Bagget, before being attacked by Plautistic, Jack Thaddeus, Clyde Cash and Joshua Martinez. Sonichu then aims to kill Asperchu, only to be interrupted by Wes-Li Chu, who shows him some "magic". Giovanni then battles Sonichu with his élite Pokémon, who Sonichu defeats. He then reaches "WesLi Chu's Luv Shack", where Megagi Chu, Saramah and Jiggliami mock him and are murdered by him. Sonichu fights Wes-Li again, but is teleported to the top of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, where he fights Slaweel, who transforms into an Ultimecia-style dragon. Asperchu accidentally kills her by throwing his Xbox Portable into her mouth. The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is destroyed, and Sonichu realizes that Asperchu is also his father. ''First appearance of Michael Snyder, MIPS, Saramah Chu, Wesli Chu, Blazebob Sonichu.'' ''Only appearance of Giovanni, Plautistic, Count Graduon, CADD Chef, Shuckle, Metapod, Castform, Delibird.'' ''Only appearance and death of Jerkops, Bagget, Joshua Martinez, Megagi Chu, Jiggliami.'' ''Death of Naitsirhc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Slaweel the Witch.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 6 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #6
|''Darkness fears not the Heart.''
| Wesli Chu is imprisoned in Molvanîa by the MIPS. CWC sends Asperchu and Jivin to Molvanîa to find him. Yawning Squirtle is recovered from the wreckage of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Wesli steals a mysterious disk from the Dean and gives it to Metal Asperchu, who tells him to kill Argentum. Asperchu 'n' pals go to the Brass Dragon, owned by Michael Snyder. Metal Asperchu scans several people, and then fights our heroes at the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Grandpa Alzheichu dies in defeating Metal. ''First appearance of Princess Julie, Yawning Squirtle.'' ''Only appearance of Crackder, Punislav Royal Guard, GameStop boss.'' ''Death of Noir Chu, Grandpa Alzheichu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 7 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue 7
| ''Excuses, excuses, excuses...''
| The MIPS plan to set up Asperchu to fulfill the Prophecy. Asperchu meets Heaven in a bar, drinks a beer and decides to take a photograph of Snyder for his dartboard. He attempts vehicular homicide of Snyder, Perez and Grant, and is arrested for causing minor injuries to Michael Snyder. Meanwhile, Bionic tries to cure Sonichu of his possession by Ian, and they seek out Sinestro's help. A squirrel named Rocky tells him that nothing is his fault and that his Asperger's excuses everything. CWC bails him out, but Asperchu demands an apology for being left to wait THREE HOURS at the police station. Asperchu is thrown from their tower, landing on Sammy, and the liberators of CWCville go back to searching for survivors from the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. They recover Saramah Chu, who is somehow still alive. Christian Weston Chandler says that the seven Chaos Pickles are "artifacts of supreme power and energy", and that they have attached themselves to seven "avatars" in order to remain stable in this universe. It is revealed that Asperchu, CWC, Wesli Chu, Saramah Chu and Sonichu are five of the avatars, and two are unknown. Also, Rocky is revealed to the reader to be one of the MIPS. Chris decides to lead a unit to retrieve Sonichu's Pickle. Heaven and Lisa kidnap Asperchu and bring him to Dean Waltz in a bid to retrieve the information that Metal Asperchu gave to the MIPS. Sonichu feels ecstatic after his Pickle is activated. When Chris, Rosechu and Julie come to speak to him, he has them imprisoned; Sonichu seems to have become insane. Meanwhile, Asperchu attacks the Dean with his Asperhameha, and is arrested again. Max and Jivin visit him. Jimmy Hill, King of Molvanîa, is enraged by his daughter Julie's capture, and plans to rescue her. ''First appearance of "Rocky".'' ''Only appearance of GAMe PLACe kids, Gerald Grant.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 8 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #8
|''Trial by fire!''
| Asperchu unwisely hires Yawning Squirtle to defend him. The jury consists of Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu, Chloe Rosechu and the clerk from Issue 0, while Lewis Croagunk prosecutes. Squirtle makes the feeble counter-defence that Snyder was planning to break into Asperchu's house, pour Wite-Out on his playing cards and wipe his hard drive, but has nothing to back this allegation up with. Sonichu appears as witness, and says that Asperchu is innocent. "Rocky" convinces Asperchu to dismiss his lawyer and represent himself. Sonichu and Asperchu begin a pointless argument as to who is "true and honest", and Sonichu freaks out and flees the courtroom. Jimmy Hill breaks into the courtroom and retrieves his daughter Julie. Asperchu receives life imprisonment. Sonichu appears to have absorbed too much of Ian's personality, and is thrown from Fort Grosse by Argentum. ''Only appearance of Lewis Croagunk, Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Chloe Rosechu.'' ''Last appearance of Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue F Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #F
| '' Three guesses what the F stands for...''
| Argentum has sent Chris, Sonichu, Sinestro and Bionic to bizarre worlds.
*Chris sees a perfect Sonichu facing CWC-Botnik, who he easily kills. Chris realises that this is not the real Sonichu, as he has no idea who Benny Chu (from ''Asperchu'' #0A) was.
*A now-mobile Bionic finds himself the beloved son of a "Rollin' and Trollin'"-style Ian Brandon Anderson. Chris releases him from the fantasy world.
* Sinestro is met by Naitsirhc, who brings him to Slaweel. Sinestro realises that all this is false. Mary offers him the sixth and seventh Chaos Pickle, but Sinestro realizes that it's an illusion. He punches a hole in reality and goes to meet CWC. The avatars of the final two Pickles emerge: Megan and Lovely Weather. Argentum goes to seek the other avatars.
*The diseased Sonichu struggles through a strange forest to confront the deceased Mitch Chu, who reminds Sonichu of all the evil he did in Ian's name. Sonichu becomes completed possessed by Ian's essence, becoming... Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Meanwhile, in the real world, Asperchu finds prison life difficult - he is attacked by a Skullmaster and almost raped by a Poliwrath, but saved by Gumby, who decides to protect him and teach him to be a Christian. Asperchu rewrites the Bible as ''Asperchoso''. Gumby then introduces Asperchu to Jesus Himself, but Asperchu isn't very interested. Asperchu and Gumby escape the other prisoners by jumping into ''Asperchoso''. Once there, Asperchoso shoots Gumby in the shins, and Asperchu escapes the book. Poliwrath becomes a devotee of Asperchoso, and Asperchu erases Gumby from the Book, killing him.

Chris and Julie arrive to break Asperchu out of prison, in order to protect him and his Chaos Pickle from Argentum.

Meanwhile, Bionic creates a holographic version of the Ian who loves him.
 ''First appearance of Lovely Weather.'' ''Only appearance of CWC-Botnik, Skullmaster, Krang, Blaziken, Poliwrath, Jesus, Asperchoso, various prisoners.'' ''Only appearance and death of Gumby, Warden Clawdorf.''
|-
| [[File:A10.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue Ten
|''It's time.''
| Issue Ten has begun with the MIPS discussing Lovely Weather, and Asperchu waking up on the Molvanîan airship.
|}

==External links==
*[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ ''Asperchu'' site]
*[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia]

[[Category:Fan]]
[[Category:Fan art]]

Toucher and Rich Segment

2010-10-01T04:06:57Z

Bealtespip122:

[[For My Sweetest Ivy|One]] of [[Chris]]'s videos was the focus of a segment of '''Toucher and Rich''', a Boston-area radio show, that aired on 12 [[May 2009]]. This is one of the rare discussions of Chris in the mainstream and not by obsessives on the Internet. There are some details that the hosts of the show get wrong, like the apparent confusion of [[Ivy]] with [[Megan]], but this is understandable given that their knowledge of him is mostly second-hand.

Notice that no matter how much the hosts try to warp Chris's voice, the original is still the most disturbing.

==The video==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|NU5uMZU2CP0}}</center>
<center>{{#ev:youtube|e5a7HN0pa0w}}</center>

==Transcript==
'''Toucher:''' Sometimes you don't realize how big something's getting on the internet. We are Toucher and Rich -- Rich Shertenlieb, Crash Clark, Adolfo Gonzalez. My name is Fred Toettcher. Two ways to get involved with the show. Please feel free to instant feedback -- go to WBCN.com and click on "Instant Feedback," or give us a call at 617-931-1041 -- 617-931-1041. Here is the deal: we got sent a e-mail from a guy who said, "Look at, this is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a really long time. What the F is up with this guy?" And he was the guy, do you have "I Got A Fish?"

'''Rich:''' I got it right here, yeah. [''Plays clip from "[[I Got A Fish]]:"'']

:'''Chris:''' I got a fish! Would ya like to make a wish? I got a fish! Would ya like to make a wish? I got a fiiiiiiiiish! Would ya like to make a wish? 

'''Toucher:''' And he is a grown man who is standing in a [[Chris's room|room full of toys]], and he is saying things, uh, this is him describing, do you have the description of what he likes, the spanking, he's kind of describing--

'''Rich:''' Oh no, I don't have that. Do, do some of it.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, basically he's describing how he likes, uh, there's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|pictures of him]] that have been leaked on the internet wearing [[Butt garments|adult diapers]], uh, he likes being spanked, and that's because [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009|that's what adults do]]. Adults like feeling pleasure, uh, out of pain.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, he is a disturbing young man. And I've been sent since then a bunch of links about this guy. And you know what, I don't remember his name and I don't care to; you'll be able to find him, don't worry about it. [''Laughs''] But, uh, he's got a million videos up on the internet, and he also apparently has a comic book that he draws and puts up on the internet--

'''Rich:''' Oh boy.

'''Toucher:''' --which is, I don't even want to get into, but which I, which I, from what I, if what I read is true, it's [[Sonichu 10|horribly disturbing]]. So anyway, he's kind of this manchild, he, uh, wears glasses, he looks a little bit like, for lack of a better description, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, almost? Like if he was playing a deranged guy. [''Laughs'']

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs.''] Right.

'''Toucher:''' Alright. So anyway, so from what I've read, there's a whole big, like, there's something that's, uh, that's like Wipi-Wikipedia, but it's like "[[ED|Crapipedia]]" or something? [''Rich laughs.''] There's this big page about this guy, and I don't know if it's true or not, but they reference that [[JERKS|he hates all men]] because they, uh, have all the girls, all the girls he meets have girlfriends[sic], but there was one girl that he was friends with, that he fell madly in love with, and I guess that this is a, uh, an ode to her.

'''Rich:''' It is. Now, in this video, unlike in the other one where he's just sitting down wearing his, like, flannel shirt, like, looking at the camera, he is standing up, he's extremely excited, you can tell because he's kind of bobbling from side to side, and he's wearing his normal outfit except on top of it a blazer. 'Cause he wants to look proper.

'''Toucher:''' And he is nonchalantly holding his, uh, remote control. He always has a video game remote control on him. And once again, in his bedroom, with the toys and drawings and the cartoons.

'''Rich:''' And here you go.

'''Toucher:''' He's obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog, too, from what I've read. And if I failed to mention it yet, he's probably close to forty. [''Plays clip from "[[For My Sweetest Ivy]]"'']

:'''Chris:''' Hey Ivy! I'm doing this video for yoooou. Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together! Hmmm!

'''Toucher:''' Yeah right, dude! [''Rich laughs.''] Dude, dude, dude, enjoy, put the Nightmare Machine on, ladies and gentlemen. [''Plays a clip from "Goodbye Horses," alluding to the Buffalo Bill dance scene in'' The Silence of the Lambs.] I hope that you're not half-asleep with the snooze button listening to this guy, 'cause, welcome to the David Lynch movie of your nightmares!

'''Rich:''' If I saw this in a David Lynch movie, I would say, like, "Alright, David Lynch is trying way too hard. Now he's like, making up stuff, that, this is too weird." [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' You know, my mommy and I--my, my family and I will come and meet you at the airport. And you know, your choice so--take you to your hotel or, uh, bring you back to...my house, hmmm.

'''Toucher:''' Ooh. These little-- [''Replays and imitates Chris's whimper and laughs, then plays the "Goodbye Horses" clip again, adding Chris saying "Back to... my house" and "My mommy and I" with his voice digitally lowered.'']

'''Rich(?):''' "My mommy and me..." [''Plays stinger music'']

'''Toucher:''' Even when adult women say "mommy" it's freaky--

'''Rich:''' [''Laughing''] I know.

'''Toucher:''' --let alone an adult man talking to somebody he, uh, obviously wants a relationship with. Ai-yai-yai. I hope you've had that cup of coffee, ladies and gentlemen, because [''Laughs''] it only gets worse. [''Continues clip.'']

:'''Chris:''' I mean, uh, you know, we'd be hanging around so much and sharing so many fondful memories. Hmm. And you know, I few--I know a few good places in Charlottesville, you know, I think it's, you know, I'll take you there, we'll get some good things to eeeeeat, and we’ll hang ooouut. We’ll have so much fun. I know a place that serves some great smoothies. And you know, we can enjoy a movie in the theater, or in--at home, or watch a television rerun. Family Guy! Heh.

'''Toucher:''' "Family Guy!" [''They laugh and play the stinger music again.''] Tony, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Tony:''' Oh my God, two hundred years ago, this guy would have been ostracized out of a village or a town or something like that. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.''] I mean, he ''really'' needs to be around normal humans.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I guess there are videos, I've been told, where [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview|his ''mother'' appears]], like--

'''Rich:''' No!

'''Toucher:''' --comes into the room while he's filming 'em.

'''Rich:''' Oh man.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I mean, there's a, you could spend a good, uh, horrifying evening, [''Rich laughs''] if you wanted to go, like, out to the old haunted house and play these things, you could probably do it for a couple of hours. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' Family Guy! Or, uh, I Love Lucy or I got some—I got the entire series of Gilligan's Island, hmmm. Hoo-hoo! Hmm, and we can make some music together on Guitar Hero. Hmmm. Well, you can sing, I got a microphone. I'm thinking about getting drums. [''Makes a drum sound.''] Hm, yeah. And you know, I will see you in the--I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together.

'''Toucher:''' Aaaauugghhaaaaoooo! [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again''] I'm going to guess it never happened. [''Rich laughs.''] I'm going to guess that the lady saw this video and maybe thought-- [''Replays clip of Chris saying, "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Rich:''' Oough.

'''Toucher:''' Alan, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Alan:''' Hey, guys, hey!

'''Toucher and Rich:''' Hey!

'''Alan:''' Um, make sure you save that videotape; the FBI will want it for evidence.

'''Toucher:''' I have a feeling that, if all this is real, that, uh, there are several organizations that are just keeping an eye on the, uh, the doings of this gentleman.

'''Rich:''' Yeah, the creepiest thing is that he, first of all, he talks like a little kid, like, "my mommy," and then in his first video, he was saying, because that's what adults do sometimes, like he's talking and addressing children.

'''Toucher:''' But I g--, this woman is an adult from what I've read, that he's addressing.

'''Rich:''' Oh, oh, maybe, maybe it is, maybe it is, but the other videos that he's made, it just seems like--

'''Toucher:''' He's very child-like and maybe he was relating to someone on a child-like level.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' That is a, that is an assumption. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' Hmmm, I'll do you so many, I'll, I'll do my best to pleasure you and keep you satisfied, my sweetest Ivy, just for you. Just for you! Hmmm! 

[''Rich laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Who did you save all this skin for? [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again, adding Chris saying "Just for you!" three times, with the first iteration digitally lowered.''] Why is this dog-cage all set up? [''Repeats digitally-lowered "Just for you!" and adds the "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Toucher:''' I mean, you don't even have to play it slow, you don't have to do anything, this is like a night-- I've never gone through the whole video, it's, it's so disturbing to me. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' I know a number of good positions and massages, hmm. Hmmm. And, you know, I know a number, uh, places we could walk around at, you know. We could walk about the mall!

'''Toucher:''' Ooh!

:'''Chris:''' We could walk about the UVA grounds! Good places where there's plenty of green and sunlight. Hmmmm, so, you know, wonderful memories! Wonderful memories! We're gonna have lots of fun. And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always. Being a good boy just for you, Ivy. [''Sound of disgust from one of the hosts''] I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch! Hmmmm.

'''Toucher:''' Oulbggh!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] Oh yeah!

'''Crash:''' It's making chills!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] I know!

'''Crash:''' The chil-- he's a witch! [''Replays a slowed-down "Being a good boy just for you, Ivy. I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch!" and adds "Just for you!" and a slowed-down "Look at me smile" at the end.'']

'''Toucher:''' [''Laughing''] "Look at me smile!" [''Replays "I know a number of good positions and massages."''] Ohhhh. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' Hmmm, look at me smile, hmm. It's a nice smile. Because I love you, Ivy! I love you so much. I ran out of details. I don't know. I guess I'll sing you a song.

'''Toucher:''' No!

:'''Chris:''' It's a jolly ‘oliday With Ivy Ivy makes my heart so light When the skies are grey And ordinary Ivy makes the sun shine bright. It's a jolly holiday with Ivy No wonder that it's Ivy that I love. I love you so much Ivy. I love you! I love youuu. [''Blows a kiss to the camera.''] Talk to you later, sweetheart. And also to your father the policeman, I salute him with my Cub Scout salute.

'''Toucher:''' Ohhhhhhh ohh. [''Rich laughs.''] [''Plays circus music to "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together," "Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together!" and "Just for you!"'']

'''Toucher:''' I'm just hoping that they wouldn't let this guy on an airplane. Laura, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Laura:''' Thanks a lot for making me have a new really colorful character for my nightmares. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.'']

'''Toucher:''' E-especially for a woman.

'''Laura:''' I'm just gonna sleep with the light on for the rest of my life, now.

'''Toucher:''' Yes, indeed!

'''Laura:''' Oh my God!

'''Toucher:''' We should make a, we should make tapes of these specifically for certain people, just replace "Ivy" with "Laura"-- [''Replays "We can make some music together on Guitar Hero" and "And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always." while everyone laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Well, Rich is obviously from a conservative Catholic family and, uh, something happened over the weekend that maybe made them think he was a little bit of a psycho.

[''Segment ends.'']

==Chris's Response==
Troll goddess [[Vivian Gee]] saw fit to inform Chris about his radio presence via E-mail. Needless to say, Chris was less than receptive.
{{Email|<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5a7HN0pa0w&feature=related</nowiki>

This was part of a radio show from a few months ago. It resurfaced recently and I had a listen.

If you wonder why this applies to you: skip to 7:00.

A woman comments about how YOU will be part of her nightmares now.

This is what normal people, not trolls, think of you. If you really think it's just trolls who have formed a bad opinion of you, think again. Just letting you know.}}
{{EmailReply|
Well, I never asked for a reputation.‏

This WHOLE WORLD is becoming autistic by gluing ALL of their attention
to computers, internet and all that. I am a REAL LIFE MAN, and while I
do not appreciate or care much of the "reputation" that has been made
against me on the crappy internet, the TRUE Reputation I would call my
own is in REAL LIFE and from ACTUALLY HANGING OUT WITH ME IN PERSON.

Feel Free to Spread this Quote from me, "If you REALLY want to make a
Reputation Of Me, then Hang Out With Me In Real Life. Quit hiding
behind your F***ing Computers and "Anonymous" Bu**S***."

Nobody is Perfect. But I AM a Good Person, and I do not have to be
recorded to prove it.

Peace,
Christian.}}

Needless to say, the quote Chris manufactured for himself wasn't spread.

==See Also==

[[The Kevin and Bean Show Segment]]

==External Links==
*[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145 Listen to the broadcast]

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Talk:Wallflower E-mails 3

2010-09-25T17:30:36Z

Bealtespip122:

The end. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:51, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

"...not even a cheap whore would want your small dick inside her, neither would I."

OH SNAP! --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:15, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

Once again proving that the absolute funniest Chris moments are the times he interacts with people outside his family and the trolls, and they gradually get a look at what an incredibly awful person he is. [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 09:34, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

Brilliant. Fucking brilliant.[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 10:30, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

Mumble 11

2010-09-25T04:48:43Z

Bealtespip122:

'''Mumble 11''' is the eleventh [[Mumble]] chat involving [[Chris]].

==Summary==
* [[Chris]] has a cold. He's drinking orange juice and eating chicken noodle soup.
* [[BlueSpike]] appears. [[Fans|Trolls]] shout abuse and Chris calls him a 13 year old brat. Chris demands he be muted and it is done.
* BlueSpike stole Chris's Yahoo account. He gave it to him to prove his love for [[Julie]], but he was Julie all along.
* GeckoMantis is surprised Chris thought BlueSpike was a girl.
* Chris is typing loudly in the background, trying to get his [[PSN]] back from BlueSpike.
* Chris can't upload pages because BlueSpike took his website down.
* A troll points out that as Chris's polar opposite, [[Reldnahc]] should be dead. Chris says forget about that, they have opposite characteristics. "I'm straight, he's a homo".
* BlueSpike is unmuted.
* Chris will help a female fan write a hentai story. He will possibly watch porn for inspiration as he needs to know anatomy "between breast sizes and pussies".
* Another fan says that Chris should be more wary of internet girls. Chris says when he's better he'll start going out in public.
* BlueSpike says that girls might actually talk to Chris now that he doesn't have his [[medallion]]. Chris replies that he can make [[Medallions_of_Fail#Mark 3|another one]] and has the memories linked to the medallion is his [[Amnyfest Ring]].
* Chris admits [[Julie Reveals Herself|cutting the medallion up and shoving it up his ass]]. He says it hurt.
* BlueSpike is IP banned.
* They verbally abuse BlueSpike.
* Chris says that [[Billy Mays]] is not Mayor of [[CWCville]].
* Chris confirms that the medallion has nothing to do with being mayor. BlueSpike questions why they should believe him without his medallion.
* Chris says that the [[ring]] has been linked with the [[medallion]] the whole time.
* The fans say that only the [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|powers]] are transferred. Chris says everything is.
* When challenged that he's not out of the time vortex yet, Chris says he's drawing himself out. [[Chris and reality|He is adamant that this event in the comic is canon to real life]].
* Chris gets on the phone to a fan offering condolences.
* When the redundancy of the medallion is pointed out, Chris says it was like a security blanket.
* The first medallion didn't have a ring holder, but the second did. He transferred his memories from the first to the second, now they have been transferred from the second to the [[ring]].
* Chris offers no comment on [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Rosechu Medallion|his]] [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Jiggliami Medallion|other medallions]], e.g. [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Black Sonichu Medallion|Blachu]].
* Chris gets on the phone with someone who seems to be asking for his parents. He proceeds to talk and lie to this person as if they're a person with some authority over him. Only parts are audible.
* After several minutes, Chris tells the fans he has to go and leaves.
* The fans are left thoroughly confused and annoyed.

==Transcript==
NOTE: I'm only adding in names that are either large names or are directly attributed to in the chat itself.

[Several people talking at once; someone says "I can hear you" and as the voices die down someone asks "How are you, Chris?"] 
'''Chris:''' Well, I got a cold. That's one thing how I'm doing. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Aww, drink orange juice! 
'''Dude:''' Yeah... recently a-... recently a flu virus-... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm drinki- I'm drinkin' plenty ah orange juice and I'm eatin' s- plenty ah chicken noodle soup... but ehyway, ah, ehyway, ah... 
'''BlueSpike:''' It's one dollar sweet tea. 
'''Dude:''' Be quiet. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You shut up, BlueSpike. 
'''Chick:''' Shut up, Blue. 
'''Dude:''' No one likes you. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Put that 13-year-old brat back in da [unintelligible] room 
'''BlueSpike:''' [unintelligible] stupid fuck... then you're not getting the Yahoo account back. 
'''Chris:''' Can somebody mute him, please? 
'''Dude:''' Yeah, mute him. 
'''Chick:''' Shut up 
'''BlueSpike:''' Alright, I hope you have fun. 
'''Chick:''' Thank you. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' So what's up, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Ehyway, Mr. 13-year-old brat over dere- [a girl giggles] -stole my yahoo account. 
'''Dude:''' Ooh... 
'''Chick:''' Oh, wow. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' REALLY!? 
'''Dude:''' That's unfortunate. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' ...Terrible. See, that's why- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, he told me to give him the password t- he told me to give him the password to that to prove my love for Julie, only to find out that he's been Julie this whole time. 
'''Dude:''' Oh... 
'''Chick:''' Wow. 
'''Dude:''' Ooh! 
'''GeckoMantis:''' WHOA!!! 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' What? That is not true and honest love. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' That's... wait- 
'''Chick:''' That's so horrible. Are you okay? 
'''Chris:''' Eh... I'll be fine, but I don't know if I'll be able to get t- back in my yahoo account now, cause, if it went out of my control, I just got billed for my payment for this month on havin' the- on h- on usin' their web serve- on usin their file management- their file- FTP services. 
'''Dude:''' How much was it? 
'''Chick:''' Chris... don't worry. 
'''Chris:''' It's coh me- it costin' me fifteen dollars a month, so widout my, widout my, so- so widout my yahoo account, that thing's gonna charge me every month. 
'''Dude:''' Fifteen dollars isn't really a lot... 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Can't you just cancel it? 
'''Chick:''' Can't you just call them, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' ...Fifteen dollars a month, that's a lot of, um... what? [He noticed that some girl was just trying to talk.] 
'''Chick:''' Can you call them? 
'''Chris:''' Egh... I dunno. Probably not. 
'''Chick:''' Chris, I'm sure we'll try and find something... I'm sure we can do something for you. 
'''Dude:''' Uhhh... there's some messages on the left... 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' We'll get... him to give it back... 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Wait, Blue, wait, what's that about PSN? 
'''Chris:''' Egh- apparently, when I called Sony to get my PSN- to get my PSN back, apparently they found him out in the process. 
'''Chick:''' At least you got some revenge, right? 
'''Dude:''' Did- Uh... uhhhh... forgot what I was gonna say. 
'''Dude:''' Damn. What an asshole, BlueSpike. 
'''Dude:''' Yeah, they did- they do say Karma is a bitch. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Wait... did you actually think Bluespike was a... girl? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Gecko, BlueSpike tricked us. 
'''Dude:''' He had me fooled. BlueSpike is really good- 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' He does sound like a girl. 
'''Chris:''' In that case, I'm not gonna di- dignify his question with an answer, because... is- his problem can be easily solved if he called the 800 toll-free number I just provided with him to Sony so he can get his account back and working again. 
{{incomplete}}
'''Guy:''' Is yours working? 
'''Chris:''' Yes, mine is working, thank you very much. 
'''Guy:''' Oh. Okay. 
'''Girl:''' That's good. 
'''Chris:''' The s- the Sony people was- were very hospitable about that. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, Chris, there was something I wanted to tell you. 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Guy:''' You said you were sick with a virus or something? 
'''Chris:''' Yes. I've been having a sinus infection, and possibly also a cold. 
'''Guy:''' Well, up here, I was- 
'''Other Guy:''' [Interrupts] A high-functioning cold? 
'''Guy:''' Hang on, hang on... 
'''Chris:''' That's possibly a cold. 
'''Guy:''' I live here in Ohio, and a flu virus just recently passed through; I think that may have gotten down there and you may have got it... [pause] ...and honestly I just got over it a few days ago. 
[Typing sounds] 
'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm, ah, typing something to, ah, Bluespike here. 
'''Guy:''' Kay. Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' He can still hear you. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, you're typing pretty vigorously. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, he can hear you if you don't wanna, like, you know, skip the typing and start saying it verbally. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I know, I'm just answering ''his'' question. 
'''Guy:''' The rooms are connected. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Sunshine, are you in the mumble as well? 
'''Sunshine:''' Yeah. I'm right here. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, we don't have to type into skype. 
'''Sunshine:''' Okay. Sorry. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Chris, remember me? I'm the cartoonist known as Mr. Skittles here. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I member you offered me the- I member you offered me the, uh, one week challenge. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do that, because I got sick. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Oh, I see. Well, um- 
'''Chris:''' [Interrupts] I'll- I'll tell you what, let's delay that to, uh, after I- after I feel better, or, uh, or- yeah. -Which one are you?- Mr. Skittles- yeah, I'll talk to you later bout that, okay? 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Oh, okay. [Pause] I've already gotten my page done; I could upload more on Friday, though, when I'm not in school. 
'''Chris:''' Uh... Hey, uh, hey, on a latter note who's co- who's coming onto da playstation home tonight for the Street Fighter 4 Q&A? I just heard about it. 
'''Guy:''' Well, I don't have a PS3, so I can't. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Yeah, I'm banned for at least a week myself. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. 
'''Other Guy:''' [Something unintelligible about "playstation" and "I'm pretty poor"] 
'''Guy:''' I just don't have the money, you know? I'm only fifteen; I can't get a job. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Me, I'm just a hungry college student, so... 
'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, my bad. I won't, ah, mar- won't, ah, I won't mention- I won't ask the question again, or- or similar to that. 
'''Sunshine:''' I went to a Street Fighter tournament recently- [gets cut off or pauses] -a street- um, nevermind. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, that's okay, yeah, I mean, uh... yeah, very good (?) Street Fighter tournament, uh, in other places, at least, uh... [unintelligible] 
[A bunch of people talk. Someone asks, "Are you good at Street Fighter, Chris?"] 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 
[Again, multiple people say stuff.] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's alright. There's conflicting... talk here, so I'm not really sure. 
'''Guy:''' So, are you gonna make more comic pages? I mean, it's kinda hard to keep a fanbase without actually, like, you know... making the comic. 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] I'm g- I'm gonna draw- I'm gonna draw more pages, I'm gonna draw more pages... 
'''Sunshine:''' Give him a break, guys! He just had a hard time. 
'''Chris:''' ...Yeah, plus also, this thirteen y- thirteen year old there took my yahoo account and in the process took my ah- took my website down... so it's not like I can upload the pages right away at this point. 
'''Guy:''' You know, you might as well make them so when... [trails off] ...You know, there's actually websites devoted to just having webcomics uploaded. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Chris:''' I'll- I'll look into that- I'll look into that another time, but not right now. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, do you think that, um... was Clyde involved with Bluespike? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, possibly; they were in- they were in talks. 
[Lots of people talk. Chris sighs.] 
'''Sunshine:''' It's okay, Chris. We're still here for you. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' It could be that Bluespike is Clyde's puppet. 
'''Guy:''' ...or vice versa. 
'''Other Guy:''' Uhh, Chris? I have a question. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' Um, Reldnahc in the comic is supposed to be your exact opposite, right? 
'''Chris:''' Um... sorry, uh, which one? 
'''Other Guy:''' Uh... I think his name is Reldnahc the guy with the- 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] Oh, ye- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's the complete opposite, yes. 
'''Other Guy:''' Well, if he's the exact opposite of you in every way, shouldn't he be dead? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' He has a point. 
'''Chris:''' [Sigh] Forget the alive part. Alive and dead, that's a different thing. I'm talkin about- in ah- complete opposite personality and characteristics. So, like, you know, I'm straight, he's a homo. 
'''Other Guy:''' Okay. 
'''Sunshine:''' That was a stupid question. 
'''Chris:''' Ahyway, also, uh, Bluespike wants you to unmute him. 
'''Guy:'''...but... why should we? 
'''Sunshine:''' Uh, Chris... 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, just go ahead and unmute him, please, so that he can- 
'''Guy:''' -Alright. 
'''Chris:''' ...continue on. 
'''Sunshine:''' Chris, I know I emailed you before, but, uhh... -shut up, blue- uhh... I emailed you about the hentai series that I was gonna work with you- 
'''Bluespike:''' [sarcastically] Oh, great. 
[People tell him to shut up] 
'''Bluespike:''' I look forward to it. 
'''Guy:''' I'll unmute him when she's done. 
'''Sunshine:''' Ugh... yeah. I emailed you about a hentai series that I wanted to work with you- 
'''Chris:''' -Oh, yeah, I remember that. 
'''Sunshine:''' -story. (?) 
'''Chris:''' I remember that. 
'''Sunshine:''' Yeah, um, are you gonna write the story for me or anything like that? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll let you write up a story- you know, uh, help you with that. (?) 
'''Sunshine:''' So, you'll write it after you're done? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, they sayin' that you- uh, alright well also, uh, Bluespike is sayin' that if you mute him once more, the yahoo will be gone from my hands forever. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' Chris, do you have to watch a lot of porn to get inspiration for hentai? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh... possibly. I can't say for sure, but it's- but you know, you definitely gotta know the... anatomy, you know, between breast sizes and the, uh... pussies... and the dicks. That's, uh... 
'''Guy:''' Vaginas? 
'''Chris:''' Yes. 
'''Sunshine:''' Well... I think we can bounce off some ideas when we work on it together... but you gotta promise, cause I already have some sketch ideas and everything I wanna show you. 
'''Chris:''' That's- th- that's cool. 
'''Bluespike:''' Chris, tell me... 
'''Chris:''' [sighs] What is it? 
'''Bluespike:''' Oh, it's not even related to anything... icky; don't worry. Tell me, if you had to write your own hentai story, why don't you just write that out right now? 
'''Chris:''' Ugh... cause I'm n- cause my mind isn't exactly in complete r- able to quickly make decisions state right now, because I'm sick. 
'''Bluespike:''' That's your reason for not doing anything... 
'''Foreign Guy:''' [Talks over Bluespike] I have a serious question about hentai, Chris- why did you draw hentai of Mary Lee Walsh? 
'''Bluespike:''' Yeah, I thought you hated her. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' It distur- yeah, it disturbed me a bit as a fan. 
'''Bluespike:''' [unintelligible] having feelings for [unintelligible] 
'''Guy:''' Stop it, Blue. 
'''Chris:''' I don't know why I did it; I just felt like messing with- um, uh- just, like, like messing with as a- as... she's- double (??? devil?) character. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him near the end] Chris... that's disgusting. 
'''Guy:''' I understand, Chris. I see what you did there. 
'''Other Guy:''' Uhh, it's kinda like, um- kinda like a little joke or a parody; kinda like a stab. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' I see. Also, check to your left- there's a comic space and (???). Couple of websites where you can, like, post webcomics and stuff. 
'''Chris:''' I see... but, still, I want my Sonichu site back up in order for me to... 
'''Sunshine:''' [Talks over him] I think he just wants his- [gets cut off] it's okay. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I saw the newest video... 
'''Sunshine:''' [Talks over him] I mean, he's paying for it, after all. 
'''Guy:''' ...I was wondering what you're gonna do about the site. 
'''Chris:''' I don't know... at least until ah- at least until I can find out ih- at least until I can get my yahoo account back. 
'''Bluespike:''' Chris, tell me... when you called the, uh, playstation people, whoever they are, did you reveal anything about me? What did you reveal? 
'''Chris:''' No, I only revealed my information; they must have found you as being the one that, ah, got into my account. 
'''Bluespike:''' You're positive about this? 
'''Chris:''' I'm positive! I'm- I'm s- I'm serious. 
'''Sunshine:''' They can do that. It's not that hard. 
'''Bluespike:''' I'm- hey, no, shut up- I'm just asking Chris. 
'''Sunshine:''' Well, you should be smart enough to know that... cause you're stupid. 
'''Bluespike:''' Stupid enough to... get a password from an autistic that he wants so bad (???) 
'''Sunshine:''' Well that's just cause you're mean. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Chris:''' ...and plus, I thought it wa- and plus, I thought it was, ah... [gets talked over]... an adult woman. 
'''Guy:''' Chris, you should probably be more secure and a little bit more paranoid the next time you meet a girl on the internet. 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] Yeah... yeah... well, after I get over this virus I'm definitely gonna start going back out in public... in local areas. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, I'm looking forward to that, Chris; I would love to see- see, now that you don't have your medallion, ladies might be more willing to talk to you. 
'''Chris:''' I may not have it on me, but I kn- I know I can recreate one- and plus, I have the memories linked to my medallions in my ring. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, but your ring won't scare trolls away. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' [Talks over Bluespike] You really should grab the medallion back, Chris; it's your sign of- honesty. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him] Oh god, no... no, don't try and kill the man. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You're the one trying to kill him. 
'''Chris:''' ...I do plan on- I do plan on recr- I do plan on recreating the medallion; I just... [gets talked over] 
'''Foreign Guy (?):''' What happened to this one? 
'''Chris:''' Because I thought I was doin' it for an adult woman. 
'''Bluespike:''' D'oh. (?) 
'''Guy:''' What happened to it? 
'''Chris:''' This brat here asked me to c- asked me to cut it up and shove it up my ass. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him, then laughs] ...and you did. 
[A strange whistle can be heard here.] 
'''Guy:''' So, did you do it? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' How far did it go? 
'''Girl (possibly Sunshine):''' Oh my god. 
[A couple more people react in disgust at the same time.] 
'''Bluespike:''' How did it feel, Chris? Tell me. 
'''Chris:''' It hurt. 
'''Guy:''' [Talks over him] How far- how far could you shove it up there? 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over guy] It hurt your rectum? 
'''Guy:''' ...I'm sorry that I may ask. 
'''Chris:''' Well, (?) I shoved it up as far as I could get it. 
'''Guy:''' Ah. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Other Guy:''' Stop talking about this! This is kinda... egh... 
'''Bluespike:''' Uhh, no, I have another question for, uh, Chris. 
'''Other Other Guy:''' Yeah, let's try- I was gonna eat dinner afterwards. Jesus. 
[Several people talk at once. Someone burps or something.] 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] You don't have ta- you don't have ta picture it. You don't have ta picture it. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Guy:''' It is kinda hard because I was gonna eat curry rice. 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] Well, I'm sorry I r- I'm sorry r- I'm sorry I ruined your dinner. 
'''Guy:''' Let's just talk about something else. 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] Like, you know, it's okay; I can still recreate one, aaand I still have my high school ring. 
'''Guy:'''Man, I'm sorry, man. 
'''Bluespike:''' Which, I must admit, Chris, it is a decent ring. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' I should've gotten a high school ring. 
'''Guy:''' Just... Chris, just- whatever you do, I mean, they've gotten a lot of things, but do ''not'' let them get your high school ring. 
'''Chris:''' They're not gettin' it. [Pause] I mean, that was a big investment itself. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him] Uh, Chris... I have a question Chris. 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Guy:''' Most people usually, like, forget about their high school ring after high school and move to college rings. 
'''Girl:''' [Talks over him] Gecko... 
'''Bluespike:''' I love how you start talking when I say "Hey." Anyway, [pronounces it "ahyway" like Chris always does] Chris, you seem like the kinda person that would know about this: since it appears to be an IP ban, this will not last forever, surely... and would you happen to know if I account share (?)- which is exactly what happened- how long would I be banned, do you think? 
'''Chris:''' I dunno. I d- I guess it's up to them. I don't know bout them. I mean, I did not even know- [he starts sounding agitated] I only gave them my account information, not yours, I swear... I sw- 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him] I never said- I never- just- I know, I- yes, I know- 
'''Chris:''' [Resumes talking] ...yeah, but ahyway, appa- but- yeah- but ahyway, apparently, they lead ya (?) to that and they apparently banned ya off there. I mean, I dunno. 
'''Bluespike:''' ...yes... 
'''Chris:''' Probably be, like, a week or so, but, you know, you can call them with the 800 number I just gave you. 
[Bluespike and Chris talk at the same time, someone else says something too] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, why are you helping this monster? 
'''Guy:''' You are truly a saint for doing this. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, if- hey- if only I- [gets cut off] helping him get his PSN account back, and just- make him feel- make him feel like, you know, get ''his'' life back in order... and then maybe he'll be more willing to give back my yahoo account. 
'''Bluespike:''' Hey, Chris, after this experience, I will never troll again; in fact, I will fight the trolls... 
'''Chris:''' Okay. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' We will all fight the trolls. 
'''Bluespike:''' ''After'' this is done. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You stop trolling now, you troll! 
'''Guy:''' We will kick their collective asses. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You are a bad person, Bluespike. 
'''Bluespike:''' Well, you're really saying tha- 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Interrupts] Didn't your mother raise you better? 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, easy, guys. Those of you- hey, hey hey hey, easy. 
'''Bluespike:''' Well, I guess you don't want the PSN. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Foreign Guy:''' Smack him with your medallion! 
'''Sunshine:''' Blue, shut up!... shut up and let Chris talk. 
'''Bluespike:''' ...One more word out of any of you and Chris will never have the- yahoo again. 
'''Chris:''' Easy, guys. Easy. 
'''Bluespike:''' C'mon! I dare you: say one word. Do it. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, easy, guys; don't- let's not kick him in the teeth, or, uh, tha- or anything that physical. 
'''Bluespike:''' I dare you to kick me in the teeth, Chris. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' -but Chris, in your one video, you said that trolls get a kick in the teeth! 
'''Bluespike:''' ...and you did a punch. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I was talkin' about an adult troll; this guy's a thirteen- this guy's a thirteen-year-old. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' So? That doesn't make it any better or... that doesn't mean he's exempt from punishment. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still... talkin' bout legal aspects. 
'''Guy:''' Well, I guess you should be giving him spankings or something. 
'''Bluespike:''' That's it. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Bluespike? I heard you were a homosexual. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him] Well I- well I warned you... I warned you all had one more chance. Now, because of his fans, Chris will not have his yahoo. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' No! We will stop you. I know where you live, Bluespike. 
'''Bluespike:''' No you don't. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Yes I do. 
'''Chris:''' [Interrupts] Look- look, look... 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' I'm tracking your IP. 
'''Bluespike:''' I'm behind seven proxies. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' I can see through them. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Guy:''' Not proxies! (?) 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Laughs] 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, proxies. You will never find out where I live unless you have my... [gets talked over] 
'''Sunshine:''' Guys! Let Chris talk! 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Alright, talk, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' I didn't have much to say. I was just, uh... mostly, uh, I do wa- I do want and need my yahoo account back. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Couldn't you just cancel it? 
'''Chris:''' No, I have to lo- I have to be logged in in order to do that. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) Couldn't you call yahoo? 
'''Chris:''' I don't know, I don't- I couldn't find there- uh, last time I tried goin' to- tryin' to contact yahoo, I couldn't find a phone number on there. 
'''Guy:''' Ohh... what about email? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I could try that, but that's, uh, er, that's another story, but, uh... [trails off] 
'''Bluespike:''' Thank you. Anyway, Chris, I'll give you and your fans one more chance. How does that sound? 
'''Chris:''' Ugh... fine. [Pause] Nobody pick on Bluespike... and I'll tell you what: as a bonus, I'll take down that video I uploaded earlier. 
'''Bluespike:''' No, keep it up as a testament to the things I've done. Please keep it up. [pause] So, Chris, how would you feel about pulling the playstation for me, since I am not very good with talking to people on the phone. 
[Chris sighs] 
'''Bluespike:''' See what you can get done. 
'''Chris:''' Fine, I'll do something, alright? 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, after this mumble you will get on a call with... [gets talked over] 
'''Chris:''' bu- bu- bu- but I nee- but I need- but, um, Bluespike I need to u- know your real name in real life. 
'''Bluespike:''' Oh, forget that, man. I'm just gonna call em myself. 
'''Chris:''' I gotta tell em your real name so I can call them for you. 
'''Bluespike:''' If I tell you that, you're gonna come find out where I live and- give me a cold... so forget that. [pause] Chris, another thing: why are you telling your fans to give me a cold? 
'''Chris:''' Because, I'm suffering through one that's similar to a cold. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, but you see- Chris, my PSN ban- that's kind of the equivalent of a cold... except I'm really mad. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, fine, well, nobody give Bluespike a cold either. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yeah, don't give me a cold, bro... I need vaccines. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' You could give him AIDS! 
'''Bluespike:''' I'm gonna give you AIDS. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [unintelligible] ...nevermind. 
'''Bluespike:''' You'd better. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Um, also, Chris, what was- in the video you made- what was that about Billy Mays not being mayor? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Another thing that I thought, ah, I ''thought'' I was doing for an adult woman. 
'''Bluespike:''' Chris... 
'''Chris:''' [Stutters a lot] ...I verbally dubbed him... mayor. 
'''Bluespike:''' Oh, a few things, Chris, if I may: um... [gets talked over] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Well, then we saw this picture- hold on, I wanna show Chris this picture. 
'''Bluespike:''' Ah, yes, after I... say one thing. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, whoah whoah, now wait, is this a picture that you, uh, got in an email?... about- [gets talked over] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' No. 
[Jack and Chris talk at the same time] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' It's something that was floating around on the forums... [trails off, saying something about Billy Mays] 
'''Bluespike:''' [kind of unintelligible, but names products advertised by Billy Mays. Someone else adds a product.] 
'''Chris:''' Wait, wait, wait- let me just, uh, let me just ask Bluespike: why him be mayor? Why him? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Because he's a charismatic leader. 
'''Bluespike:''' Because Billy Mays is the best person in the world. By the way, if I may really quickly... you should fight your own battles instead of getting your fans to do it for you. You're not playing overlord; (?) you can't order your minions. 
[Jack talks over Bluespike saying "um, Chris" while someone else burps] 
'''Bluespike:''' Are you serious? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, since he's wearing that medallion... Chris, I have a- you see the picture? Since he's wearing the medallion, doesn't that mean he's mayor? I thought that- 
'''Chris:''' -No, no, no; the medallions have nothing to do with being mayor. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' But Chris, you said that- 
[Chris emits a very loud angry stress groan] 
'''Chris:''' The medallions have nothing to do with being the mayor! 
[Several people talk at once; a girl says "stop bullying him!"] 
'''Girl:''' Everybody calm down! 
'''Chris:''' And also, ihya look- if you look at this picture, that thing has obviously been photoshopped onto there... and I think that, uh... 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Talks over him] It doesn't look photoshopped. 
'''Bluespike:''' And by the way um... 
'''Chris:''' That i- it is photoshopped- I mean, do you see a shadow underneath the medallion? If it was r- was more matching to the setting? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Well, it's against his shirt!... It's against his shirt. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yeah, he doesn't wear it outside his collar. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Yeah. 
'''Bluespike:''' By the way, um... 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] So it's doesn- so it's been obviously photoshopped. 
'''Bluespike:''' Before I forget what I'm going to say... ah, yes: how can you believe what you say in that video without your true and honest medallion? Chris, tell me this, and tell me why I should believe the words you say on the youtube video on the internet. Please, do tell me. 
[Chris coughs] 
'''Chris:''' I ha- I still have my high school ring, which has been in league with my medallion the whole time. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, but... you could have easily stolen the ring... [gets talked over] 
'''Foreign Guy:''' But you said in the retraction video that the medallion is needed! 
'''Chris:''' Oh- if you all recall the preview for the- number ten comic book, the powers of the medallion get transferred to my high school ring. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) But I thought that was just your power for Chris-Chan Sonichu, though. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, everything about Chris-Chan Sonichu even gets transferred to the ring. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Over Chris] I thought this was like, uh... 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Foreign Guy:''' Chris, this hasn't happened yet- you are not out of the time vortex in the comic yet. 
'''Chris:''' I've drawn myself out of there. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Um, Chris, but wasn't that a, um... like, trailer or something for the real comic? I thought that, uh... so, is it canon or is it not canon? 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] It's canon to real life, as well... this one. 
'''Guy:''' You can turn into Sonichu?? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Wh- yeah, you can transform in real life?? What?! 
'''Chris:''' No, I can't transform in real life, but it's canon- 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' ...it's canon to- it's canon for- it's canon for... that sorta thing. You know, I don't need my medallion; I- the powers got transferred to my ring... it's canon. 
[Chris's phone rings] 
'''Guy:''' So what happened to Blanca? 
'''Chris:''' Scuse me. [Gets up to answer the phone] Hello?... Yes... 
[Someone makes a weird noise] 
'''Bluespike:''' Who could be calling our dear Chris-Chan? 
'''Chris:''' [Still on the phone] Yes. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) Why, yes, I would like to save money on my car insurance. 
[Everyone laughs] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Blanca got the medallion, that troll. 
'''Chris:''' ...but, uh, tell me something I don't know. 
'''Bluespike:''' You're fat. You don't know that. 
'''Chris:''' ...and I appreciate your support. (???) 
[long pause] 
'''Bluespike:''' I appreciate your condolences. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, you take care and have a pleasant day. [Hangs up] 
'''Bluespike:''' Tell me, Chris... who was on the phone? 
'''Guy:''' I think he's still on the phone, shh. 
'''Bluespike:''' Hey, Chris... can you hear me? 
'''Guy:''' Shut up. 
'''Sunshine:''' Hey, Blue... don't me an idiot. 
'''Chris:''' [Gets back onto mumble, sighing] Alright. 
'''Bluespike:''' So, Chris... who was on the phone? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, just a- fan, giving me his... nice... words and condolences for all the bad (?) that's been happening to me from... trolls. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Talks over him] Bluespike was in here earlier, telling that- saying that he- you didn't have any real fans, and we were all trolls. We told him we're the true, honest fans, cause we are. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Tell it like it is, brother... and sisters. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Guy:''' If the powers are in the high school ring, why have a medallion at all? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' No! He transferred the powers from the medallion- 
'''Guy:''' -I know, but- 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Bluespike:''' Actually, I do know the answer to this: think Linus in, uh, Peanuts. He... feels attached to the medallion, like Linus feels to his blanket... 
'''Foreign Guy:''' No, that way the powers are doubled! 
'''Bluespike:''' ...and, it's Linus, except Linus is slightly cooler. 
'''Guy:''' Huh... but, I noticed that- the ring- it could be like in Captain Planet. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Guy:''' Let Chris talk! I wanna hear his answer. 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] I'm done, but, uh, pretty much, yeah... but that is fairly much... yeah, the medallion was like a security blanket... in a sense. 
'''Guy:''' And now the ring's a security blanket? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was attached to the medallion, as well. So, there you go. [Pause] It was a thing- there was a characteristic of the m- of the ma- of the medallion that, ah, would se- would separate it from any thieves. It had a little thing on the back that was custom-fitted to my ring. [Pause] I had my ring on it the whole time. 
'''Guy:''' I thought the first medallion didn't have a thing for the ring. 
'''Chris:''' The first one didn't, but the second one I created did. 
'''Guy:''' Kay. 
'''Chris:''' So it's like, you know, after the first one was- first one went, then I created the second one, added the slot with the ring, and, like, I transferred my memories from the old medallion to the new medallion, and in turn it got tra- all that got trans- all that and then some got transferred to the ring. 
'''Guy:''' Oh. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, don't you have multiple medallions, like, uh, the... Blachu one and the, uh... I mean... Blake one? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, no- yeah, no comment about those. No comment about those. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' What do you mean, no comment? Can't you just wear those in the meantime? 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over Jack] Chris, why don't you tell us what happened? Tell us what happened. 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] Aaagh... [his phone rings] Same thi- same thi- [mutters] excuse me... [gets up to answer the phone] 
'''Guy:''' Jeez. 
'''Guy:''' Explain that- (???) in the comic books. 
'''Other Guy:''' Shush. 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, no. This is Christian Chandler, his son. [Pause] Uhh, sorry. She's taking a nap right now. [Pause] Speak it again. (?) 
'''Guy:''' What's going on? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Shut up! 
[long pause; some random noises are heard] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Are you there, Chris? 
'''Sunshine:''' He's on the phone. 
'''Guy:''' Echo, echo, echo... 
'''Other Guy:''' Shut up. 
[Long pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a webcam. [Pause] Yeah, I ha- I haven't done anything like that in a- f- for da long time. [Pause] Yeah yeah, I've been stepping away ''from'' the internet. [He pauses and/or gets cut off] ...webcam. [Long pause] ...and sometimes I would've been low-functioning, I guess. [Pause] [stressed] You don't have to do that; I'm not talking to the people. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah... yeah yeah yeah. 
[A strange noise can be heard; it may be part of a video] 
[Long pause] 
'''Chris:''' (???) sir, you hush. (?) Go ahead, father. (?) 
[Trolls say stuff and tell each other to shut up] 
'''Chris:''' It doesn't- (???) -it doesn't matter if I was cut off the internet or not. [Pause, weird thumping noises] Yeah, well, I mean- yeah, I been ta- [gets cut off] Alright, well, good. I'm backing off (?) now; you can tell me more later. (?) [Pause] I'll talk to you later, father. [Sigh; pause; sighs again, getting back on mumble] 
'''Girl:''' Chris, is everything okay? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, things are okay. Listen, I gotta go; I have things to do; I'll talk to y'all another time. 
[Everyone goes crazy and tries to figure out what's going on] 

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 10|Mumble Chat 10]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 12|Mumble Chat 12]]|}}

==External links==
[http://www.mediafire.com/?zzzmdmhmwzw Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 11

2010-09-24T19:49:25Z

Bealtespip122:

'''Mumble 11''' is the eleventh [[Mumble]] chat involving [[Chris]].

==Summary==
* [[Chris]] has a cold. He's drinking orange juice and eating chicken noodle soup.
* [[BlueSpike]] appears. [[Fans|Trolls]] shout abuse and Chris calls him a 13 year old brat. Chris demands he be muted and it is done.
* BlueSpike stole Chris's Yahoo account. He gave it to him to prove his love for [[Julie]], but he was Julie all along.
* GeckoMantis is surprised Chris thought BlueSpike was a girl.
* Chris is typing loudly in the background, trying to get his [[PSN]] back from BlueSpike.
* Chris can't upload pages because BlueSpike took his website down.
* A troll points out that as Chris's polar opposite, [[Reldnahc]] should be dead. Chris says forget about that, they have opposite characteristics. "I'm straight, he's a homo".
* BlueSpike is unmuted.
* Chris will help a female fan write a hentai story. He will possibly watch porn for inspiration as he needs to know anatomy "between breast sizes and pussies".
* Another fan says that Chris should be more wary of internet girls. Chris says when he's better he'll start going out in public.
* BlueSpike says that girls might actually talk to Chris now that he doesn't have his [[medallion]]. Chris replies that he can make [[Medallions_of_Fail#Mark 3|another one]] and has the memories linked to the medallion is his [[Amnyfest Ring]].
* Chris admits [[Julie Reveals Herself|cutting the medallion up and shoving it up his ass]]. He says it hurt.
* BlueSpike is IP banned.
* They verbally abuse BlueSpike.
* Chris says that [[Billy Mays]] is not Mayor of [[CWCville]].
* Chris confirms that the medallion has nothing to do with being mayor. BlueSpike questions why they should believe him without his medallion.
* Chris says that the [[ring]] has been linked with the [[medallion]] the whole time.
* The fans say that only the [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|powers]] are transferred. Chris says everything is.
* When challenged that he's not out of the time vortex yet, Chris says he's drawing himself out. [[Chris and reality|He is adamant that this event in the comic is canon to real life]].
* Chris gets on the phone to a fan offering condolences.
* When the redundancy of the medallion is pointed out, Chris says it was like a security blanket.
* The first medallion didn't have a ring holder, but the second did. He transferred his memories from the first to the second, now they have been transferred from the second to the [[ring]].
* Chris offers no comment on [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Rosechu Medallion|his]] [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Jiggliami Medallion|other medallions]], e.g. [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Black Sonichu Medallion|Blachu]].
* Chris gets on the phone with someone who seems to be asking for his parents. He proceeds to talk and lie to this person as if they're a person with some authority over him. Only parts are audible.
* After several minutes, Chris tells the fans he has to go and leaves.
* The fans are left thoroughly confused and annoyed.

==Transcript==
NOTE: I'm only adding in names that are either large names or are directly attributed to in the chat itself.

[Several people talking at once; someone says "I can hear you" and as the voices die down someone asks "How are you, Chris?"] 
'''Chris:''' Well, I got a cold. That's one thing how I'm doing. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Aww, drink orange juice! 
'''Dude:''' Yeah... recently a-... recently a flu virus-... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm drinki- I'm drinkin' plenty ah orange juice and I'm eatin' s- plenty ah chicken noodle soup... but ehyway, ah, ehyway, ah... 
'''BlueSpike:''' It's one dollar sweet tea. 
'''Dude:''' Be quiet. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You shut up, BlueSpike. 
'''Chick:''' Shut up, Blue. 
'''Dude:''' No one likes you. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Put that 13-year-old brat back in da [unintelligible] room 
'''BlueSpike:''' [unintelligible] stupid fuck... then you're not getting the Yahoo account back. 
'''Chris:''' Can somebody mute him, please? 
'''Dude:''' Yeah, mute him. 
'''Chick:''' Shut up 
'''BlueSpike:''' Alright, I hope you have fun. 
'''Chick:''' Thank you. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' So what's up, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Ehyway, Mr. 13-year-old brat over dere- [a girl giggles] -stole my yahoo account. 
'''Dude:''' Ooh... 
'''Chick:''' Oh, wow. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' REALLY!? 
'''Dude:''' That's unfortunate. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' ...Terrible. See, that's why- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, he told me to give him the password t- he told me to give him the password to that to prove my love for Julie, only to find out that he's been Julie this whole time. 
'''Dude:''' Oh... 
'''Chick:''' Wow. 
'''Dude:''' Ooh! 
'''GeckoMantis:''' WHOA!!! 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' What? That is not true and honest love. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' That's... wait- 
'''Chick:''' That's so horrible. Are you okay? 
'''Chris:''' Eh... I'll be fine, but I don't know if I'll be able to get t- back in my yahoo account now, cause, if it went out of my control, I just got billed for my payment for this month on havin' the- on h- on usin' their web serve- on usin their file management- their file- FTP services. 
'''Dude:''' How much was it? 
'''Chick:''' Chris... don't worry. 
'''Chris:''' It's coh me- it costin' me fifteen dollars a month, so widout my, widout my, so- so widout my yahoo account, that thing's gonna charge me every month. 
'''Dude:''' Fifteen dollars isn't really a lot... 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Can't you just cancel it? 
'''Chick:''' Can't you just call them, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' ...Fifteen dollars a month, that's a lot of, um... what? [He noticed that some girl was just trying to talk.] 
'''Chick:''' Can you call them? 
'''Chris:''' Egh... I dunno. Probably not. 
'''Chick:''' Chris, I'm sure we'll try and find something... I'm sure we can do something for you. 
'''Dude:''' Uhhh... there's some messages on the left... 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' We'll get... him to give it back... 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Wait, Blue, wait, what's that about PSN? 
'''Chris:''' Egh- apparently, when I called Sony to get my PSN- to get my PSN back, apparently they found him out in the process. 
'''Chick:''' At least you got some revenge, right? 
'''Dude:''' Did- Uh... uhhhh... forgot what I was gonna say. 
'''Dude:''' Damn. What an asshole, BlueSpike. 
'''Dude:''' Yeah, they did- they do say Karma is a bitch. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Wait... did you actually think Bluespike was a... girl? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Gecko, BlueSpike tricked us. 
'''Dude:''' He had me fooled. BlueSpike is really good- 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' He does sound like a girl. 
'''Chris:''' In that case, I'm not gonna di- dignify his question with an answer, because... is- his problem can be easily solved if he called the 800 toll-free number I just provided with him to Sony so he can get his account back and working again. 
{{incomplete}}
'''Guy:''' Is yours working? 
'''Chris:''' Yes, mine is working, thank you very much. 
'''Guy:''' Oh. Okay. 
'''Girl:''' That's good. 
'''Chris:''' The s- the Sony people was- were very hospitable about that. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, Chris, there was something I wanted to tell you. 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Guy:''' You said you were sick with a virus or something? 
'''Chris:''' Yes. I've been having a sinus infection, and possibly also a cold. 
'''Guy:''' Well, up here, I was- 
'''Other Guy:''' [Interrupts] A high-functioning cold? 
'''Guy:''' Hang on, hang on... 
'''Chris:''' That's possibly a cold. 
'''Guy:''' I live here in Ohio, and a flu virus just recently passed through; I think that may have gotten down there and you may have got it... [pause] ...and honestly I just got over it a few days ago. 
[Typing sounds] 
'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm, ah, typing something to, ah, Bluespike here. 
'''Guy:''' Kay. Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' He can still hear you. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, you're typing pretty vigorously. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, he can hear you if you don't wanna, like, you know, skip the typing and start saying it verbally. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I know, I'm just answering ''his'' question. 
'''Guy:''' The rooms are connected. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Sunshine, are you in the mumble as well? 
'''Sunshine:''' Yeah. I'm right here. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, we don't have to type into skype. 
'''Sunshine:''' Okay. Sorry. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Chris, remember me? I'm the cartoonist known as Mr. Skittles here. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I member you offered me the- I member you offered me the, uh, one week challenge. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do that, because I got sick. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Oh, I see. Well, um- 
'''Chris:''' [Interrupts] I'll- I'll tell you what, let's delay that to, uh, after I- after I feel better, or, uh, or- yeah. -Which one are you?- Mr. Skittles- yeah, I'll talk to you later bout that, okay? 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Oh, okay. [Pause] I've already gotten my page done; I could upload more on Friday, though, when I'm not in school. 
'''Chris:''' Uh... Hey, uh, hey, on a latter note who's co- who's coming onto da playstation home tonight for the Street Fighter 4 Q&A? I just heard about it. 
'''Guy:''' Well, I don't have a PS3, so I can't. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Yeah, I'm banned for at least a week myself. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. 
'''Other Guy:''' [Something unintelligible about "playstation" and "I'm pretty poor"] 
'''Guy:''' I just don't have the money, you know? I'm only fifteen; I can't get a job. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Me, I'm just a hungry college student, so... 
'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, my bad. I won't, ah, mar- won't, ah, I won't mention- I won't ask the question again, or- or similar to that. 
'''Sunshine:''' I went to a Street Fighter tournament recently- [gets cut off or pauses] -a street- um, nevermind. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, that's okay, yeah, I mean, uh... yeah, very good (?) Street Fighter tournament, uh, in other places, at least, uh... [unintelligible] 
[A bunch of people talk. Someone asks, "Are you good at Street Fighter, Chris?"] 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 
[Again, multiple people say stuff.] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's alright. There's conflicting... talk here, so I'm not really sure. 
'''Guy:''' So, are you gonna make more comic pages? I mean, it's kinda hard to keep a fanbase without actually, like, you know... making the comic. 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] I'm g- I'm gonna draw- I'm gonna draw more pages, I'm gonna draw more pages... 
'''Sunshine:''' Give him a break, guys! He just had a hard time. 
'''Chris:''' ...Yeah, plus also, this thirteen y- thirteen year old there took my yahoo account and in the process took my ah- took my website down... so it's not like I can upload the pages right away at this point. 
'''Guy:''' You know, you might as well make them so when... [trails off] ...You know, there's actually websites devoted to just having webcomics uploaded. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Chris:''' I'll- I'll look into that- I'll look into that another time, but not right now. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, do you think that, um... was Clyde involved with Bluespike? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, possibly; they were in- they were in talks. 
[Lots of people talk. Chris sighs.] 
'''Sunshine:''' It's okay, Chris. We're still here for you. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' It could be that Bluespike is Clyde's puppet. 
'''Guy:''' ...or vice versa. 
'''Other Guy:''' Uhh, Chris? I have a question. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' Um, Reldnahc in the comic is supposed to be your exact opposite, right? 
'''Chris:''' Um... sorry, uh, which one? 
'''Other Guy:''' Uh... I think his name is Reldnahc the guy with the- 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] Oh, ye- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's the complete opposite, yes. 
'''Other Guy:''' Well, if he's the exact opposite of you in every way, shouldn't he be dead? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' He has a point. 
'''Chris:''' [Sigh] Forget the alive part. Alive and dead, that's a different thing. I'm talkin about- in ah- complete opposite personality and characteristics. So, like, you know, I'm straight, he's a homo. 
'''Other Guy:''' Okay. 
'''Sunshine:''' That was a stupid question. 
'''Chris:''' Ahyway, also, uh, Bluespike wants you to unmute him. 
'''Guy:'''...but... why should we? 
'''Sunshine:''' Uh, Chris... 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, just go ahead and unmute him, please, so that he can- 
'''Guy:''' -Alright. 
'''Chris:''' ...continue on. 
'''Sunshine:''' Chris, I know I emailed you before, but, uhh... -shut up, blue- uhh... I emailed you about the hentai series that I was gonna work with you- 
'''Bluespike:''' [sarcastically] Oh, great. 
[People tell him to shut up] 
'''Bluespike:''' I look forward to it. 
'''Guy:''' I'll unmute him when she's done. 
'''Sunshine:''' Ugh... yeah. I emailed you about a hentai series that I wanted to work with you- 
'''Chris:''' -Oh, yeah, I remember that. 
'''Sunshine:''' -story. (?) 
'''Chris:''' I remember that. 
'''Sunshine:''' Yeah, um, are you gonna write the story for me or anything like that? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll let you write up a story- you know, uh, help you with that. (?) 
'''Sunshine:''' So, you'll write it after you're done? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, they sayin' that you- uh, alright well also, uh, Bluespike is sayin' that if you mute him once more, the yahoo will be gone from my hands forever. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' Chris, do you have to watch a lot of porn to get inspiration for hentai? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh... possibly. I can't say for sure, but it's- but you know, you definitely gotta know the... anatomy, you know, between breast sizes and the, uh... pussies... and the dicks. That's, uh... 
'''Guy:''' Vaginas? 
'''Chris:''' Yes. 
'''Sunshine:''' Well... I think we can bounce off some ideas when we work on it together... but you gotta promise, cause I already have some sketch ideas and everything I wanna show you. 
'''Chris:''' That's- th- that's cool. 
'''Bluespike:''' Chris, tell me... 
'''Chris:''' [sighs] What is it? 
'''Bluespike:''' Oh, it's not even related to anything... icky; don't worry. Tell me, if you had to write your own hentai story, why don't you just write that out right now? 
'''Chris:''' Ugh... cause I'm n- cause my mind isn't exactly in complete r- able to quickly make decisions state right now, because I'm sick. 
'''Bluespike:''' That's your reason for not doing anything... 
'''Foreign Guy:''' [Talks over Bluespike] I have a serious question about hentai, Chris- why did you draw hentai of Mary Lee Walsh? 
'''Bluespike:''' Yeah, I thought you hated her. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' It distur- yeah, it disturbed me a bit as a fan. 
'''Bluespike:''' [unintelligible] having feelings for [unintelligible] 
'''Guy:''' Stop it, Blue. 
'''Chris:''' I don't know why I did it; I just felt like messing with- um, uh- just, like, like messing with as a- as... she's- double (??? devil?) character. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him near the end] Chris... that's disgusting. 
'''Guy:''' I understand, Chris. I see what you did there. 
'''Other Guy:''' Uhh, it's kinda like, um- kinda like a little joke or a parody; kinda like a stab. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' I see. Also, check to your left- there's a comic space and (???). Couple of websites where you can, like, post webcomics and stuff. 
'''Chris:''' I see... but, still, I want my Sonichu site back up in order for me to... 
'''Sunshine:''' [Talks over him] I think he just wants his- [gets cut off] it's okay. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I saw the newest video... 
'''Sunshine:''' [Talks over him] I mean, he's paying for it, after all. 
'''Guy:''' ...I was wondering what you're gonna do about the site. 
'''Chris:''' I don't know... at least until ah- at least until I can find out ih- at least until I can get my yahoo account back. 
'''Bluespike:''' Chris, tell me... when you called the, uh, playstation people, whoever they are, did you reveal anything about me? What did you reveal? 
'''Chris:''' No, I only revealed my information; they must have found you as being the one that, ah, got into my account. 
'''Bluespike:''' You're positive about this? 
'''Chris:''' I'm positive! I'm- I'm s- I'm serious. 
'''Sunshine:''' They can do that. It's not that hard. 
'''Bluespike:''' I'm- hey, no, shut up- I'm just asking Chris. 
'''Sunshine:''' Well, you should be smart enough to know that... cause you're stupid. 
'''Bluespike:''' Stupid enough to... get a password from an autistic that he wants so bad (???) 
'''Sunshine:''' Well that's just cause you're mean. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Chris:''' ...and plus, I thought it wa- and plus, I thought it was, ah... [gets talked over]... an adult woman. 
'''Guy:''' Chris, you should probably be more secure and a little bit more paranoid the next time you meet a girl on the internet. 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] Yeah... yeah... well, after I get over this virus I'm definitely gonna start going back out in public... in local areas. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, I'm looking forward to that, Chris; I would love to see- see, now that you don't have your medallion, ladies might be more willing to talk to you. 
'''Chris:''' I may not have it on me, but I kn- I know I can recreate one- and plus, I have the memories linked to my medallions in my ring. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, but your ring won't scare trolls away. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' [Talks over Bluespike] You really should grab the medallion back, Chris; it's your sign of- honesty. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him] Oh god, no... no, don't try and kill the man. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You're the one trying to kill him. 
'''Chris:''' ...I do plan on- I do plan on recr- I do plan on recreating the medallion; I just... [gets talked over] 
'''Foreign Guy (?):''' What happened to this one? 
'''Chris:''' Because I thought I was doin' it for an adult woman. 
'''Bluespike:''' D'oh. (?) 
'''Guy:''' What happened to it? 
'''Chris:''' This brat here asked me to c- asked me to cut it up and shove it up my ass. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him, then laughs] ...and you did. 
[A strange whistle can be heard here.] 
'''Guy:''' So, did you do it? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' How far did it go? 
'''Girl (possibly Sunshine):''' Oh my god. 
[A couple more people react in disgust at the same time.] 
'''Bluespike:''' How did it feel, Chris? Tell me. 
'''Chris:''' It hurt. 
'''Guy:''' [Talks over him] How far- how far could you shove it up there? 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over guy] It hurt your rectum? 
'''Guy:''' ...I'm sorry that I may ask. 
'''Chris:''' Well, (?) I shoved it up as far as I could get it. 
'''Guy:''' Ah. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Other Guy:''' Stop talking about this! This is kinda... egh... 
'''Bluespike:''' Uhh, no, I have another question for, uh, Chris. 
'''Other Other Guy:''' Yeah, let's try- I was gonna eat dinner afterwards. Jesus. 
[Several people talk at once. Someone burps or something.] 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] You don't have ta- you don't have ta picture it. You don't have ta picture it. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Guy:''' It is kinda hard because I was gonna eat curry rice. 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] Well, I'm sorry I r- I'm sorry r- I'm sorry I ruined your dinner. 
'''Guy:''' Let's just talk about something else. 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] Like, you know, it's okay; I can still recreate one, aaand I still have my high school ring. 
'''Guy:'''Man, I'm sorry, man. 
'''Bluespike:''' Which, I must admit, Chris, it is a decent ring. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' I should've gotten a high school ring. 
'''Guy:''' Just... Chris, just- whatever you do, I mean, they've gotten a lot of things, but do ''not'' let them get your high school ring. 
'''Chris:''' They're not gettin' it. [Pause] I mean, that was a big investment itself. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him] Uh, Chris... I have a question Chris. 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Guy:''' Most people usually, like, forget about their high school ring after high school and move to college rings. 
'''Girl:''' [Talks over him] Gecko... 
'''Bluespike:''' I love how you start talking when I say "Hey." Anyway, [pronounces it "ahyway" like Chris always does] Chris, you seem like the kinda person that would know about this: since it appears to be an IP ban, this will not last forever, surely... and would you happen to know if I account share (?)- which is exactly what happened- how long would I be banned, do you think? 
'''Chris:''' I dunno. I d- I guess it's up to them. I don't know bout them. I mean, I did not even know- [he starts sounding agitated] I only gave them my account information, not yours, I swear... I sw- 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him] I never said- I never- just- I know, I- yes, I know- 
'''Chris:''' [Resumes talking] ...yeah, but ahyway, appa- but- yeah- but ahyway, apparently, they lead ya (?) to that and they apparently banned ya off there. I mean, I dunno. 
'''Bluespike:''' ...yes... 
'''Chris:''' Probably be, like, a week or so, but, you know, you can call them with the 800 number I just gave you. 
[Bluespike and Chris talk at the same time, someone else says something too] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, why are you helping this monster? 
'''Guy:''' You are truly a saint for doing this. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, if- hey- if only I- [gets cut off] helping him get his PSN account back, and just- make him feel- make him feel like, you know, get ''his'' life back in order... and then maybe he'll be more willing to give back my yahoo account. 
'''Bluespike:''' Hey, Chris, after this experience, I will never troll again; in fact, I will fight the trolls... 
'''Chris:''' Okay. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' We will all fight the trolls. 
'''Bluespike:''' ''After'' this is done. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You stop trolling now, you troll! 
'''Guy:''' We will kick their collective asses. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You are a bad person, Bluespike. 
'''Bluespike:''' Well, you're really saying tha- 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Interrupts] Didn't your mother raise you better? 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, easy, guys. Those of you- hey, hey hey hey, easy. 
'''Bluespike:''' Well, I guess you don't want the PSN. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Foreign Guy:''' Smack him, Chris! 
'''Sunshine:''' Blue, shut up!... shut up and let Chris talk. 
'''Bluespike:''' ...One more word out of any of you and Chris will never have the- yahoo again. 
'''Chris:''' Easy, guys. Easy. 
'''Bluespike:''' C'mon! I dare you: say one word. Do it. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, easy, guys; don't- let's not kick him in the teeth, or, uh, tha- or anything that physical. 
'''Bluespike:''' I dare you to kick me in the teeth, Chris. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' -but Chris, in your one video, you said that trolls get a kick in the teeth! 
'''Bluespike:''' ...and you did a punch. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I was talkin' about an adult troll; this guy's a thirteen- this guy's a thirteen-year-old. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' So? That doesn't make it any better or... that doesn't mean he's exempt from punishment. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still... talkin' bout legal aspects. 
'''Guy:''' Well, I guess you should be giving him spankings or something. 
'''Bluespike:''' That's it. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Bluespike? I heard you were a homosexual. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him] Well I- well I warned you... I warned you all had one more chance. Now, because of his fans, Chris will not have his yahoo. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' No! We will stop you. I know where you live, Bluespike. 
'''Bluespike:''' No you don't. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Yes I do. 
'''Chris:''' [Interrupts] Look- look, look... 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' I'm tracking your IP. 
'''Bluespike:''' I'm behind seven proxies. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' I can see through them. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Guy:''' Not proxies! (?) 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Laughs] 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, proxies. You will never find out where I live unless you have my... [gets talked over] 
'''Sunshine:''' Guys! Let Chris talk! 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Alright, talk, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' I didn't have much to say. I was just, uh... mostly, uh, I do wa- I do want and need my yahoo account back. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Couldn't you just cancel it? 
'''Chris:''' No, I have to lo- I have to be logged in in order to do that. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) Couldn't you call yahoo? 
'''Chris:''' I don't know, I don't- I couldn't find there- uh, last time I tried goin' to- tryin' to contact yahoo, I couldn't find a phone number on there. 
'''Guy:''' Ohh... what about email? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I could try that, but that's, uh, er, that's another story, but, uh... [trails off] 
'''Bluespike:''' Thank you. Anyway, Chris, I'll give you and your fans one more chance. How does that sound? 
'''Chris:''' Ugh... fine. [Pause] Nobody pick on Bluespike... and I'll tell you what: as a bonus, I'll take down that video I uploaded earlier. 
'''Bluespike:''' No, keep it up as a testament to the things I've done. Please keep it up. [pause] So, Chris, how would you feel about pulling the playstation for me, since I am not very good with talking to people on the phone. 
[Chris sighs] 
'''Bluespike:''' See what you can get done. 
'''Chris:''' Fine, I'll do something, alright? 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, after this mumble you will get on a call with... [gets talked over] 
'''Chris:''' bu- bu- bu- but I nee- but I need- but, um, Bluespike I need to u- know your real name in real life. 
'''Bluespike:''' Oh, forget that, man. I'm just gonna call em myself. 
'''Chris:''' I gotta tell em your real name so I can call them for you. 
'''Bluespike:''' If I tell you that, you're gonna come find out where I live and- give me a cold... so forget that. [pause] Chris, another thing: why are you telling your fans to give me a cold? 
'''Chris:''' Because, I'm suffering through one that's similar to a cold. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, but you see- Chris, my PSN ban- that's kind of the equivalent of a cold... except I'm really mad. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, fine, well, nobody give Bluespike a cold either. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yeah, don't give me a cold, bro... I need vaccines. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' You could give him AIDS! 
'''Bluespike:''' I'm gonna give you AIDS. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [unintelligible] ...nevermind. 
'''Bluespike:''' You'd better. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Um, also, Chris, what was- in the video you made- what was that about Billy Mays not being mayor? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Another thing that I thought, ah, I ''thought'' I was doing for an adult woman. 
'''Bluespike:''' Chris... 
'''Chris:''' [Stutters a lot] ...I verbally dubbed him... mayor. 
'''Bluespike:''' Oh, a few things, Chris, if I may: um... [gets talked over] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Well, then we saw this picture- hold on, I wanna show Chris this picture. 
'''Bluespike:''' Ah, yes, after I... say one thing. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, whoah whoah, now wait, is this a picture that you, uh, got in an email?... about- [gets talked over] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' No. 
[Jack and Chris talk at the same time] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' It's something that was floating around on the forums... [trails off, saying something about Billy Mays] 
'''Bluespike:''' [kind of unintelligible, but names products advertised by Billy Mays. Someone else adds a product.] 
'''Chris:''' Wait, wait, wait- let me just, uh, let me just ask Bluespike: why him be mayor? Why him? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Because he's a charismatic leader. 
'''Bluespike:''' Because Billy Mays is the best person in the world. By the way, if I may really quickly... you should fight your own battles instead of getting your fans to do it for you. You're not playing overlord; (?) you can't order your minions. 
[Jack talks over Bluespike saying "um, Chris" while someone else burps] 
'''Bluespike:''' Are you serious? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, since he's wearing that medallion... Chris, I have a- you see the picture? Since he's wearing the medallion, doesn't that mean he's mayor? I thought that- 
'''Chris:''' -No, no, no; the medallions have nothing to do with being mayor. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' But Chris, you said that- 
[Chris emits a very loud angry stress groan] 
'''Chris:''' The medallions have nothing to do with being the mayor! 
[Several people talk at once; a girl says "stop bullying him!"] 
'''Girl:''' Everybody calm down! 
'''Chris:''' And also, ihya look- if you look at this picture, that thing has obviously been photoshopped onto there... and I think that, uh... 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Talks over him] It doesn't look photoshopped. 
'''Bluespike:''' And by the way um... 
'''Chris:''' That i- it is photoshopped- I mean, do you see a shadow underneath the medallion? If it was r- was more matching to the setting? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Well, it's against his shirt!... It's against his shirt. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yeah, he doesn't wear it outside his collar. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Yeah. 
'''Bluespike:''' By the way, um... 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] So it's doesn- so it's been obviously photoshopped. 
'''Bluespike:''' Before I forget what I'm going to say... ah, yes: how can you believe what you say in that video without your true and honest medallion? Chris, tell me this, and tell me why I should believe the words you say on the youtube video on the internet. Please, do tell me. 
[Chris coughs] 
'''Chris:''' I ha- I still have my high school ring, which has been in league with my medallion the whole time. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, but... you could have easily stolen the ring... [gets talked over] 
'''Foreign Guy:''' But you said in the retraction video that the medallion is needed! 
'''Chris:''' Oh- if you all recall the preview for the- number ten comic book, the powers of the medallion get transferred to my high school ring. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) But I thought that was just your power for Chris-Chan Sonichu, though. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, everything about Chris-Chan Sonichu even gets transferred to the ring. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Over Chris] I thought this was like, uh... 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Foreign Guy:''' Chris, this hasn't happened yet- you are not out of the time vortex in the comic yet. 
'''Chris:''' I've drawn myself out of there. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Um, Chris, but wasn't that a, um... like, trailer or something for the real comic? I thought that, uh... so, is it canon or is it not canon? 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] It's canon to real life, as well... this one. 
'''Guy:''' You can turn into Sonichu?? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Wh- yeah, you can transform in real life?? What?! 
'''Chris:''' No, I can't transform in real life, but it's canon- 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' ...it's canon to- it's canon for- it's canon for... that sorta thing. You know, I don't need my medallion; I- the powers got transferred to my ring... it's canon. 
[Chris's phone rings] 
'''Guy:''' So what happened to Blanca? 
'''Chris:''' Scuse me. [Gets up to answer the phone] Hello?... Yes... 
[Someone makes a weird noise] 
'''Bluespike:''' Who could be calling our dear Chris-Chan? 
'''Chris:''' [Still on the phone] Yes. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) Why, yes, I would like to save money on my car insurance. 
[Everyone laughs] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Blanca got the medallion, that troll. 
'''Chris:''' ...but, uh, tell me something I don't know. 
'''Bluespike:''' You're fat. You don't know that. 
'''Chris:''' ...and I appreciate your support. (???) 
[long pause] 
'''Bluespike:''' I appreciate your condolences. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, you take care and have a pleasant day. [Hangs up] 
'''Bluespike:''' Tell me, Chris... who was on the phone? 
'''Guy:''' I think he's still on the phone, shh. 
'''Bluespike:''' Hey, Chris... can you hear me? 
'''Guy:''' Shut up. 
'''Sunshine:''' Hey, Blue... don't me an idiot. 
'''Chris:''' [Gets back onto mumble, sighing] Alright. 
'''Bluespike:''' So, Chris... who was on the phone? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, just a- fan, giving me his... nice... words and condolences for all the bad (?) that's been happening to me from... trolls. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Talks over him] Bluespike was in here earlier, telling that- saying that he- you didn't have any real fans, and we were all trolls. We told him we're the true, honest fans, cause we are. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Tell it like it is, brother... and sisters. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Guy:''' If the powers are in the high school ring, why have a medallion at all? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' No! He transferred the powers from the medallion- 
'''Guy:''' -I know, but- 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Bluespike:''' Actually, I do know the answer to this: think Linus in, uh, Peanuts. He... feels attached to the medallion, like Linus feels to his blanket... 
'''Foreign Guy:''' No, that way the powers are doubled! 
'''Bluespike:''' ...and, it's Linus, except Linus is slightly cooler. 
'''Guy:''' Huh... but, I noticed that- the ring- it could be like in Captain Planet. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Guy:''' Let Chris talk! I wanna hear his answer. 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] I'm done, but, uh, pretty much, yeah... but that is fairly much... yeah, the medallion was like a security blanket... in a sense. 
'''Guy:''' And now the ring's a security blanket? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was attached to the medallion, as well. So, there you go. [Pause] It was a thing- there was a characteristic of the m- of the ma- of the medallion that, ah, would se- would separate it from any thieves. It had a little thing on the back that was custom-fitted to my ring. [Pause] I had my ring on it the whole time. 
'''Guy:''' I thought the first medallion didn't have a thing for the ring. 
'''Chris:''' The first one didn't, but the second one I created did. 
'''Guy:''' Kay. 
'''Chris:''' So it's like, you know, after the first one was- first one went, then I created the second one, added the slot with the ring, and, like, I transferred my memories from the old medallion to the new medallion, and in turn it got tra- all that got trans- all that and then some got transferred to the ring. 
'''Guy:''' Oh. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, don't you have multiple medallions, like, uh, the... Blachu one and the, uh... I mean... Blake one? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, no- yeah, no comment about those. No comment about those. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' What do you mean, no comment? Can't you just wear those in the meantime? 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over Jack] Chris, why don't you tell us what happened? Tell us what happened. 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] Aaagh... [his phone rings] Same thi- same thi- [mutters] excuse me... [gets up to answer the phone] 
'''Guy:''' Jeez. 
'''Guy:''' Explain that- (???) in the comic books. 
'''Other Guy:''' Shush. 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, no. This is Christian Chandler, his son. [Pause] Uhh, sorry. She's taking a nap right now. [Pause] Speak it again. (?) 
'''Guy:''' What's going on? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Shut up! 
[long pause; some random noises are heard] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Are you there, Chris? 
'''Sunshine:''' He's on the phone. 
'''Guy:''' Echo, echo, echo... 
'''Other Guy:''' Shut up. 
[Long pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a webcam. [Pause] Yeah, I ha- I haven't done anything like that in a- f- for da long time. [Pause] Yeah yeah, I've been stepping away ''from'' the internet. [He pauses and/or gets cut off] ...webcam. [Long pause] ...and sometimes I would've been low-functioning, I guess. [Pause] [stressed] You don't have to do that; I'm not talking to the people. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah... yeah yeah yeah. 
[A strange noise can be heard; it may be part of a video] 
[Long pause] 
'''Chris:''' (???) sir, you hush. (?) Go ahead, father. (?) 
[Trolls say stuff and tell each other to shut up] 
'''Chris:''' It doesn't- (???) -it doesn't matter if I was cut off the internet or not. [Pause, weird thumping noises] Yeah, well, I mean- yeah, I been ta- [gets cut off] Alright, well, good. I'm backing off (?) now; you can tell me more later. (?) [Pause] I'll talk to you later, father. [Sigh; pause; sighs again, getting back on mumble] 
'''Girl:''' Chris, is everything okay? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, things are okay. Listen, I gotta go; I have things to do; I'll talk to y'all another time. 
[Everyone goes crazy and tries to figure out what's going on] 

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 10|Mumble Chat 10]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 12|Mumble Chat 12]]|}}

==External links==
[http://www.mediafire.com/?zzzmdmhmwzw Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Talk:ModNation Racers

2010-09-20T22:07:36Z

Bealtespip122: /* How do Chris and his creations play? */

So what information do we have so far on this shit? We know he's asking for bonus material, and we know he's posting on GameFaqs about it. Anything else?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:08, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

He put like 8-16 screencaps of his Sonichu kart and devoted an entire CWCipedia update to this. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 02:53, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:Before or after the Archive Cogs made, because if after, then good luck finding it now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:06, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
::Here: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Original_CCWC_Art - he considers this "original art". Basically he has a yellow car with his initials on him and has made a racer with a slight resemblance to him. This is from the beta, so who knows what kind of crap he's made since the game has been released. I'm going to put one screencap in the article and leave it at that. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 03:10, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

Oh damn, look at how '''badly''' made the Chaotic Combo is. Buy hey, it's Chris; no matter what the tool is, he'll use it to foist his godawful shit on the world. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 19:36, 27 July 2010 (UTC)
== Dear God... ==

I had a feeling that Chris would get his hands on ModNation Racers. God knows what crap he'll put up on the Internet...--SpaceScreaminJohn 14:59, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

== He has his Beta Track Up ==

As well as some actually neatly recreated Hot Wheels vehicles. He locked a couple of them; the manchild must have Favorited those TWO cars from his collection. LOL His track is lengthy, and confusing, but I managed to run some laps on it. And he added a good version of the Park with a fountain, and a Beach.

Download his Beta Cwcville Track for the laughs of using the defaulted Beta Tools.--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I think "manbaby" is more appropriate than "manchild", given that he soils himself so much. But anyway, thanks for keeping us updated on his movements and activities. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 22:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

::I was watching an episode of Ghost Adventures and they were in this haunted mansion/abandoned hospital place, and there was a ghost there that they called the 'manbaby', and I kept thinking 'lolchris' [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 23:02, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I don't have a copy of ModNation or a PS3, so is there any way you could make a video of the new tracks and provide some commentary? That would be great! --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:10, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

::I agree with Anaconda here. I would love to download his track for laughs of using defaulted Beta Tools, but I do not have the game. If you would upload a video of them, Jinkies, I'm sure it would contribute Greatly to the LULZ. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 00:13, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
:::We should probably handle this like we handle the LBP levels, get some screenshots and summaries up on the page. Jenkins, you're the only one that's played them so far, would you mind adding the level names and a brief description of each to the page?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:21, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

:I wouldn't call anything the manbaby did "good" or "neatly recreated", since he has never had an original thought in his tiny retarded brain. Except the attraction sign, and we all know how that turned out. That, and it probably is a piece of crap like his other stuff. I would like to see it, too. I second the video idea. --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:23, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

Who gives a shit about this bullshit except for how much money Chris is blowing on this. seriously, he spends so much money. I remember during the GoW bullshit that he spent like 20 bucks on stupid dlc. i bet he's already lost like 30 bucks trying to get those mystery mods or whatever. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:44, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

== Pictures of his shitty creations? ==

On his profile page there are images of his shitty creations. Should they be screencapped and put in this article for future reference in case he leaves Modnation? I'm grabbing pictures of them now, but I know shit all about editing wikis and how to put them in the article neatly. - [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 03:48, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

: The reason I suggest it is that despite abandoning things like the Sonichu medallion, he still insists on putting his bullshit creations everywhere. One of his cars is even SonChu for fucks sake. - [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 03:51, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

I think yes,as they will be easy to access this way and there will be no risk of losing them if he does end up leaving Modnation. --[[User:MEANWHILE|MEANWHILE]] 02:40, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:Or getting banned for making the 'Be My Sweetheart' car. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:38, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::Making a collage that contains all his created characters shouldn't be that hard. I'm not doing anything right now, so I'll give it a shot. Might look like ass though.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:26, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Pictures of all cars and drivers added. They're just screencaps from the website though. It would be neat if someone downloaded them all and got us some high quality pictures from their PS3 but 1.) I'm not sure how that would even work and 2.) It probably would be a giant pain in the ass.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

His Twitter updates say the 2.0 version of the track is up. Is anyone going to get it and document it? [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 20:20, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:I really doubt anybody on here owns this game.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::Yeah, most CWCki users are over the age of seven. This is a kiddie game. In other words, it's exactly the kind of childish crap that Chris will waste his summer and life on. What a pathetic and lonely life he has. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 23:16, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::I don't know about it being a kids' game. I played a demo of the game for the PSP, and it looks to be a decent kart-racing game, if you are interested in that. Regardless, I would like to see someone put up a video of Chris's custom-made track. --SpaceScreaminJohn 01:28, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

:I might get a copy if I can find it cheap used. The demo was fun enough. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 00:46, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

== "posted threads on both GameFAQs and Gamespot" ==

Which threads are you referring to? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 08:09, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
:[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:VInM-kX7oLIJ:www.gamefaqs.com/boards/960619-modnation-racers/55632118+site:gamefaqs.com+ChrisCSonichu&cd=6&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us Found one.] Deleted for Chris being Chris. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 08:13, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
:[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:aj6YV7WonMAJ:www.gamefaqs.com/boards/960619-modnation-racers/55642892/613903000+site:gamefaqs.com+ChrisCSonichu&cd=12&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us Found another.] Apparently Chris is unaware (once again) that he is illicitly soliciting.
:[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:yWiY6pfFf4YJ:www.gamespot.com/ps3/driving/modnationracers/show_msgs.php%3Ftopic_id%3Dm-1-55632118%26pid%3D960619+site:gamespot.com+ChrisCSonichu&cd=15&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us Found on GS.] Despite their more lax policy, this thread was also DELETED.
:[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:5f_JKQ6WA1kJ:www.gamespot.com/ps3/driving/modnationracers/show_msgs.php%3Ftopic_id%3Dm-1-55642892%26pid%3D960619+site:gamespot.com+ChrisCSonichu&cd=16&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us Nothing new at all.] Yeah, I just wasted precious sleep time. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 08:27, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
::Screencaps made. I guess I'll upload them?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:08, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
There is no point in uploading the gamespot ones if you are going to upload the gayfags one. They both share the same forum postings or whatever. Essentially they're the same. [[User:Wozblod|Wozblod]] 09:02, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

== Hot Wheels ==

Chris was into this in high school and the very early 2000s, and IIRC had a Geocities page or part of a Geocities page dedicated to Hot Wheels. Kind of interesting that in a game where he has the possibility to make (almost) anything that he can imagine, he started making content based on a toy he liked 10-12 years ago and then forgot about. There's already a short page about it on the CWCki, which I linked to in the article. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:53, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

== Disc's Closed due to Scratches ==

Sent him an email telling him to play this and quit the tardrage, and he told me his disc's scratched, possibly from attempting to shove his bent dong in the spindle hole. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:38, 10 August 2010 (PDT)
*If you've got proof of that email, that might be front-page-worthy (finally). Have you got any? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 19:44, 10 August 2010 (PDT)
**Here's the exact line from the email sent at 9:38 PM CST from "enginegeorge@yahoo.com":

'no i cannot play modnation racers right now because my disc is scratched'

Also, from him at 9:51 PM CST:
'MY COPY OF Modnation Racers IS NOT BROKEN, IT JUST HAS A FEW SCRATCHES AND MAYBE SOME DUST, IT JUST MEANS IT NEEDS TO BE RUN IN THE SINK FOR A FEW SECONDS. DON'T TAUNT ME CAUSE IT'S NOT FUNNY!'

So, even the scratch-resistant Blu Ray coating cannot stop Chris. Also, lolwut at the sink and dust part. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:51, 10 August 2010 (PDT)

*I mean something a bit more substantial, like an unedited screencap or something. There have been a lot of rumors these days and I don't want something in our articles that isn't true. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 20:08, 10 August 2010 (PDT)
*Probably not for a while- laptop's in need of repair, so I'm stuck on a Wii. I'll try to get onto a friend's laptop and post screencaps. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 20:18, 10 August 2010 (PDT)
*Would there be any way to copy the email over or send it to someone else? It would have to be someone trustworthy, of course, and someone willing to give out their email, but if it would get an unedited screenie, it may just work. [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 20:25, 10 August 2010 (PDT)
*Yeah, feel free to forward it to my "undercover newfag" account. tehpwnzorbobz@gmail.com. All that would remain would be confirming that it came from Chris and not a poser, seeing as you say it came from another account. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 20:32, 10 August 2010 (PDT)
*I got the forward, but I'm not convinced that this is Chris at all. It has all the marks of a common troll, especially the last segment, which reads:
"If you're a fan as well, I would QUITE enjoy it if you would stop PERSECUTING ME like this. it is QUITE STRESSFUL. AND ANNOYING. And Possibly Illegal."
That isn't like Chris. Sure, he thinks this stuff perhaps, but he doesn't talk like that. He doesn't say "and possibly illegal". He says it IS illegal. It isn't a post-script comment for him, etc. I could go on about how obvious it is that that isn't from Chris, but I think you get the point. That isn't Chris, and I swear my life on it. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 20:53, 10 August 2010 (PDT)
*Actually, I think I'll post the whole comment here and explain why it isn't Chris. It will take up a bit of space, but it can be deleted later.
From Eniggy:If it is you, that is.

If it is you, why do you rip off great people such as Charles M. Schultz and call it original, and why do you abuse the taxpayer system?

If you are a troll, just tell me. I'm not affiliated with the CWCki in any way, but please, grow up. Also, please get rid of the cats that coat your house in feces, or I may tip off the PETA to your so-called "pet care."

Ian "The TRUE Christian Weston Chandler" A.

From "Chris":
I AM NOT CHRISTIAN! (Stating that he isn't something without stating what he is isn't like Chris. He needs to define himself constantly to remain what he thinks he is (See:[[Straight]])) NOR AM I A ONE OF THOSE FIEDS WHO IS CONSTANTLY ATTACKING CHRIS! (At this point I noticed that "Chris" isn't trying to act cool or use "cool" terms. He isn't trying to play the part of a kid, which will be relevant in a second.) AND CHRIS DOES NOT RIP OFF ANYONE NOR DOES HE STEAL FROM TAXPAYERS OF AMERICA! (Chris paid attention to this, but not to the cat thing? Bullshit. He tends to latch on to single ideas when presented with a lot of text, but with short emails he addresses each individual point to at least some degree, or ignores the whole thing.) QUIT TRYING TO DO THIS TO ME! I AM JUST A 15 YEAR OLD FROM VIRGINIA SHOWING CHRISTIAN WHAT A FAN I AM! (There it is. He's a kid, supposedly. Where's the imitated hip lingo? When Chris tries to be cool, it shows. He tries too hard, and not trying at all is completely unlike him. He sees himself as manly, so thinks he has to act like a child to appear to be one. By not doing this, he exposes himself as not chris.)

If you're a fan as well (Chris doesn't do that. There is no if, and at this point he would think you were a troll, so that's not even a road his black-and-white mind would explore), I would QUITE enjoy it if you would stop PERSECUTING ME like this. (He would capitalise the word "stop". He's shown that that's where he starts. Also, he doesn't use the word persecute. Ever. He'd use one of his token phrases for this. That he didn't isn't damning in itself, it still solidifies previous evidence.) it is QUITE STRESSFUL. (Do I even need to say it?) AND ANNOYING(Obvious bullshit is obvious). And Possibly Illegal(previously addressed).
So there you go. This email is not Chris, and it's obvious. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 21:04, 10 August 2010 (PDT)
:At the very least, it was a bit of entertainment after a long drought, and for that I suppose we should be thankful. It's better than someone who comes in and blanks the pages for an hour.
Who knows? This kid could be telling the truth and just be a misguided fan. [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 21:26, 10 August 2010 (PDT)

*This shit isn't real. Eniggy, you are a fucktard. Get out. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 21:49, 10 August 2010 (PDT)
**Eniggy's still fresh here. Hell, at least he's trying, unlike most of us. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 22:06, 10 August 2010 (PDT)

== Keywords for his creations ==

Guys, I skimmed over his profile, and found that most of his creations have keywords assigned to them. Admittedly, most of them are probably ignorable, but then again, No Shit Is Too Minor.

Chris has these assigned to his avatar: ''[[Chris and his ego|admirable]], [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|friendly]], [[Chris and the industry|professional]]''

His Lego version: ''[[rape|friendly]], [[Random-access humor|fun-loving]], [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|serious]]'' - note the contradiction.

Sonichu gets: ''admirable, edgy, [[Rule 34|professional]]''

Any thoughts? Xanabit, I recall that you're stalking Chris's profile at the moment. Would you mind looking into this? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:37, 10 August 2010 (PDT)

:Yeah, I saw all of 'em. A couple have some really glaring contradictions. Punchy is Warrior, Serious, and Silly. Same with Excel. I never seen Excel Saga, so I have no idea how her character acts, but for Punchy it just illustrates how awful he is at characterization. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:11, 11 August 2010 (PDT)
:Silly is actually pretty fitting for Excel. Warrior... not so much. I have no idea why Chris would even consider Excel serious, at all. [[User:Toxy|Toxy]] 08:43, 11 August 2010 (PDT)
::All things considered, would you consider adding the keywords to the file pages for each creation? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:55, 11 August 2010 (PDT)
:::I'll get right on it. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 12:09, 11 August 2010 (PDT)
::Excel was mock-serious for an episode that parodied post-apocalyptic and adventure series. Assuming that Chris thinks like a 5-8 year old, he probably thought Excel going through the motions of an adventure hero means that she can be "serious" when need be. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 18:10, 11 August 2010 (PDT)

== How do Chris and his creations play? ==

All right, I know at least SOME of you are in contact with Chris in the game. Why the silence? So if you ARE on ModNation and have access to Chris and his stuff, could you give a kind of report on how Chris races? If you're not in contact with Chris, then at least tell us what his tracks play like. I don't know if car and racer customization is purely aesthetic or involves tangible statistics like weight and handling. If it's the latter, how "well" are Chris's racers and cars balanced? We must know. No need to troll Chris from here (although it will SURELY help with the dry spell!), just observe him and his works. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:57, 12 August 2010 (PDT)

*There are some things I'm curious about. I have ModNation Racers and the challenges and AI are pretty brutal,but I'm very curious how Chris managed to complete the challenges. It takes skill and a little luck to beat this game,but Chris's racing stats contradicts this. I'm confused.--[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 14:35, 20 September 2010 (PDT)

**why don't you fucking do some research about the game and then come back and ask. seriously, stop complaining about shit that doesn't exist (referring to statistics attached to racers/cars). i don't have a PS3 and i've done most of the ps3 work on this site. figure out how I do it. spoiler alert: the link is at the fucking bottom of the page. the only usefulness you could get out of having a copy of the game, is fucking running through the track and then posting a youtube video. that's it. shut up you BITCH. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 14:57, 20 September 2010 (PDT)

**Clydec is right. There isn't much diversity in stats. It's extremely simple. Weight doesn't play any part in the game. I'll try and see how his race tracks play out.--[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 15:07, 20 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:ModNation Racers

2010-09-20T21:35:41Z

Bealtespip122: /* How do Chris and his creations play? */

File talk:FIXED.jpg

2010-09-19T05:35:21Z

Bealtespip122:

Why did you change the colour of the lighsabers? Is there some importance to the classic colours that I'm missing? Epic pic, by the way. --[[User:CaptainCanuck|CaptainCanuck]] 16:45, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

:Maybe because Chris sees himself as the good guy, so he would have Jedi colours instead of the Sith red? Best pic on the CWCki, btw. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 17:22, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

:[[Heterochromia]] [[User:BSD|BSD]] 04:30, 8 September 2010 (PDT)

::Oh, of course. I should have seen that. --[[User:CaptainCanuck|CaptainCanuck]] 13:49, 8 September 2010 (PDT)

:Eamoo's point is probably the most likely reason why Darth Maul's lightsaber has the Jedi's blue and green saber colors rather than the Sith's red color. Not to mention that I saw Chris's face Photoshopped where Darth Maul's face should be, further adding to that point. Nuff said; funny pic. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 12:02, 8 September 2010 (PDT)

:I'd like to take this time and say to who ever made this pic.....YOU ARE A FUCKING GOD--[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 22:35, 18 September 2010 (PDT).

Talk:Hello, Juffalo

2010-09-18T01:59:35Z

Bealtespip122:

== lolwut ==

Ok, what the fuck was the point of the makeup? -[[User:CJB8895|Cody]] 8:40 PM, 18 December 2009
* I'm guessing he's supposed to look like Sonichu, but, he's coming off as ''fucking creepy''! Jeez, that's going to be in my nightmares! --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:34, 18 December 2009 (CET)
**He looks like a Juggalo version of Sonichu. Juggalos are fans of the Insane Clown Posse, the Ed Wood of rap groups. They are infinitely hilarious and infinitely terrifying. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 05:48, 18 December 2009 (CET)
*Learn to Google retard. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:57, 18 December 2009 (CET)
** Shit, another cool thing I can't lik anymore because Chris likes it. (Power Rangers, The Saw Movies, The Final Destination Movies, THE LIST GOES ON AND ON!) -[[User:CJB8895|Cody]] 9:13 PM, 18 December 2009
*** He's also into Death in June and Albert Camus! GODDAMN IT!! [[User:Klingerbgoode|Klingerbgoode]] 01:29, 19 December 2009 (CET)
*** OH SHIT Chris also breathes air! You better stop breathing RIGHT NOW Cody! Don't think, just do it! –[[User:Lynxr|Ich bin schwul, '''Lynxr'''. Ich bin schwul.]]– 05:23, 19 December 2009 (CET)
*** Im pretty sure the air in his house is so thick from all the shit piled in it tht it is mostly farts and rotting cats, as opposed to breathble oxygen -[[User:CJB8895|Cody]] 11:32 PM, 18 December 2009
My god. - [[User:Straha|Straha]]

Did he said that he's ready to trade his fans in exchange of Jugallos? I wonder how his "Fans" would feel about it. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 18 December 2009 (CET)
*He sure did. Also, who the fuck is this "Gal pal" that got him to do this? I think she just became a god.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:32, 18 December 2009 (CET)
** I was just wondering that. It certainly would explain the sudden burst of rap in his videos if there's some mystery gal-pal pulling the strings. [[User:Bladedone|Bladedone]] 06:55, 18 December 2009 (CET)
*** The Gal-Pal with the undead hamster? It suddenly makes sense... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:38, 18 December 2009 (CET)
*Interestingly, or maybe not so interesting, the colors of his shirt match the colors painted on his face.[[User:Tarkus|Tarkus]] 07:26, 18 December 2009 (CET)
* There's no yellow on his shirt (stains don't count). So the colors on his shirt better match the colors of '''NAZI GERMANY'''....! Interestingly, they were also fans of mass murder and dead bodies. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 02:26, 19 December 2009 (CET)

Someone should splice the parts where he's yelling, "MASS MURDER MAKES ME HAPPEH, DEAD BODIES MAKE ME HAPPEH" and send it to his parents.--[[User:Joson|Joson]] 06:44, 20 December 2009 (CET)

==Transcription==

Shit sucks, man. You'd think it would be easy because he's reading off lyrics you could just copy and paste, but he apparently never read them before trying to read them out loud in time to the song, so he slurs over half the stuff. Also, it doesn't help that you'd have to correct all the spelling and capitalization errors the little 16-year-old meth-heads with 85 IQ's who actually listen to this shit made when they transcribed it in the first place. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 04:19, 19 December 2009 (CET)
* I'd just do it phonetically since Chris has speech problems and is trying to sound like Homey G Roy here. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 04:31, 19 December 2009 (CET)

* As horrible as it sounds you'll probably have to listen to it several times to get what he's saying exactly right. Even though he's reading the lyrics off screen, he ad-libs a bunch. Around the 1:00 mark he sneaks "homos and china" in there. --[[User:ATOMSK|ATOMSK]] 08:04, 19 December 2009 (CET)

I've got most of what he said down. In a bit, I'll go back and try to decipher the parts labled as mumbling, or indistinct. -[[User:Flowen|Flowen]] 08:45, 19 December 2009 (CET)

There was a whole section missing that I added as best as I could. -[[User:I Love Little Girls|I Love Little Girls]] 05:28, 20 December 2009

==Chris' Hair==

At about 4:44 in the movie, I spotted what appears to be a '''bald spot''' on the top of his head. Has this shown up earlier or am I extremely unobservant? [[User:Hejji|Hejji]] 18:05, 19 December 2009 (CET)
* Yes, and there's a better view of it. I just need to find the screen caps. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 08:35, 20 December 2009 (CET)

==Boobs==

Look at 2:51. He grabs his tits. --[[User:Mgi|Mgi]] 07:30, 20 December 2009 (CET)
* oh shit, he does it heaps of times --[[User:Mgi|Mgi]] 07:31, 20 December 2009 (CET)
*He's just adjusting his "muscle bra". --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 19:59, 20 December 2009 (CET)

== It's a Captain's Log, yo ==

MC Chris said so. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 23:16, 25 December 2009 (CET)

== Body Language ==

Just a minor pointer, but in the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Autism Autism] page, there is a brief mention of awkward body language being a symptom of Autism, this video has a LOT of awkward hand movement and positioning, especially in the first minute. --[[User:DrJivago|DrJivago]] 22:54, 29 December 2009 (CET)

== Wayne Gacy ==
Chris looks extra creepy with face paint. It's giving me the same creepy feeling I get from Wayne Gacy,the Killer Clown.--[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 18:59, 17 September 2010 (PDT)

File talk:128469211411.jpg

2010-09-17T16:58:11Z

Bealtespip122: Created page with "Just for the record,that shit looks fucking creepy. --~~~~"

Just for the record,that shit looks fucking creepy. --[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 09:58, 17 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-09-16T22:59:05Z

Bealtespip122:

{{Not_A_Forum}}

Oh my heavenly God... --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 13:47, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Transcribing, should be done soonish? - [[User:Boop|Boop]] 13:54, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:Arrr, ya beat me, ya scurvy scallawag! Anyways; Un-fucking-beleivable. It's the 'Falling Towers' video all over again.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 13:56, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
::Done transcribing...jesusfuck. There's parts of it I couldn't really make out, sorry guys. - [[User:Boop|Boop]] 14:26, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:::We got yer back. Fucking hell.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 14:50, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Chris is BACK!--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:57, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Evidently, Chris has no idea how racist this is and how doubly creepy it is. Mr. Popo is so creepy that DBZ Abridged made it a running joke. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 13:58, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Is that what the japanese think Arabs look like?--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 14:03, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
: http://dragonball.wikia.com/wiki/Popo That's all it says (and what it says is pretty damning), I suppose you'd have to ask Akira.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 14:13, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

I've got a vague transcription, I'll stick it on the page but there are quite a few [unintelligable]s and I am a n00b so forgive me. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 14:06, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

I believe he's actually sort of cosplaying [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Popo#Mr._Popo Mr. Popo], a minor character from DragonBall Z. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 14:15, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

for the ending part it sounded to me like "ain't no saiyans on the fiddle", am i alone in thinking this --[[User:Phlegethon|Phlegethon]] 14:21, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:Remember, think "uncaringly racist"; he's singinging a minstrel song, which I would imainge are still popular in a redneck racist bible-humping cesspool of society--- In ANY of the 'outdoors' videos, like the McCintyre park video, the shopping spree he won as a kid, the council meeting, Fridays after 5- was there even ONE black person in any of them? Anyways, minstrel songs, the South in 1800's (which isn't that far removed from how it is now, it seems); he was saying "Saints".--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 14:50, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Still need to categorize this biznitch.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:04, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

I think Chris has gotten fatter because his muscle bra seems to be struggling to keep his man tits from bouncing.--[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 15:59, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Song?==
Can we get the sauce on the song playing in the background?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:08, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by Crash Test Dummies. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 14:14, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== Should there be a link for chris and his ego? ==

In his lyrics whiles he's whining about his life story he says "But bullies who '''were jealous''' of his material things"
*Seems kind of minute compared to other examples, but no shit is too minor--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 14:47, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
::Hell, do we even need to invoke that phrase? The only time I would need to use "minor" and "Chris" in the same sentence is to describe his duck, his sexual interests, and his brain.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 14:56, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
So, it's true that he believes trolls are only after him for his material wealth (of shit). [[User:Nimnoms|Nimnoms]] 15:06, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Blackface==
I really thought it was just an innocent naive version of Popo and he doesn't unterstand the racial implications but then he blows it all away with his own little minstrel show at the end. I know this is not a forum and all, but I guess this can be interesting for the article - how does a roomdweller with the mind of a 12 year old can make such a spot on impression?
TL;DR
Where is the 'fiddle routine' ripped off from? --[[User:Maximilian Graves|Maximilian Graves]] 15:16, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:This isn't a NAF issue because it deals directly with the content of the article. Chris isn't in blackface. He's dressed up as Mr. Popo, who isn't in blackface—he's a member of a species who just looks like that. It's obviously arguable that it ''looks'' like he was in blackface and that the character's design could've been inspired by it, but the most likely explanation is that the DANG DIRTY TROLLS knew this much better than Chris.
{{quote|You ain't seen no niggers on the fiddle. No niggers on the fiddle like this. You ain't seen no niggers on the fiddle no niggers on the fiddle like this.|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0215545/quotes Womack, ''Bamboozled'']}}
:—[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 15:52, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Chris dispels videogame rumors

2010-09-16T22:37:51Z

Bealtespip122:

Try and find out what Barbara said at the end, and add that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:57, 19 September 2009 (CEST)
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xL4qOYMZT7o]This has been bugging me for a while now... It looks like a hoax; is it? --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 08:07, 14 December 2009 (CET)
**Do... do you really even need to ask?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:27, 24 January 2010 (UTC)
**It sounds like she said "Hun" rather than "Love". I mean,it would make more sense seeing as how they're rednecks.--[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 15:37, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
== Isn't it rather for the fans than for trolls? ==

--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:34, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

File talk:JackSweetheart.jpg

2010-09-14T01:53:09Z

Bealtespip122:

Anyone else here looking at her and thinking "jailbait"? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:40, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
*Yes,yes I do.[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 18:47, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

File talk:JackSweetheart.jpg

2010-09-14T01:47:13Z

Bealtespip122:

Anyone else here looking at her and thinking "jailbait"? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:40, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
*Yes,yes I am.[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 18:47, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:The MovingFoward videos

2010-09-04T20:09:06Z

Bealtespip122: /* Another sign of huge ego? */

<center>THIS IS NOT A SPECULATION PAGE --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 06:26, 30 August 2010 (PDT) </center>

{{Not A Forum}}
Transcribing this one presently... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:27, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:Done transcribing. Well, that was something you don't see every day. If anybody can catch what he says while he's setting down the camera in the first bit, please do add that... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:54, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

What account did he upload this on?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
*he didn't upload it, trolls did --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

The 'Trophy Unlocked: Killed the HEX-BOX!" has a certain delicious irony to it now. Maybe Chris deserves an Xbox 360 Achievement for 'killing' the PS3? [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 19:17, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:"Achievement Unlocked" Shoopfag request! --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 20:22, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:: Done--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 22:13, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Many thanks! Is the misspelling intentional? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 22:14, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: Yeah in the moment i forgot how chris spelled Hex-box.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 22:22, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:::::That wasn't the misspelling I was pointing to. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 07:17, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:::::: Fixed now, sorry, english is my second language.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 07:38, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
Random observations that probably should be put to appropriate articles: 1) ''"I mean no disrespect to Sony Computer Entertainment America. Maker of the fine product." ... "I bid you fond...faredoo. Adieu. Fond farewell..."'' If there ever was a proverbial smoking gun as to the fact that Chris just doesn't know what some phrases actually ''mean,'' this would be it. I mean, he failed at really meaning what he said to the sweethearts, and now he failed at really meaning what he said to his sweet fave electronics manufacturer. 2) ''"when I plugged it in, it did not turn on."'' Chris fails basic common-sense fire, electricity and possibly laser safety. If something is obviously FUBAR, you just ''don't'' plug it in, dammit. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 05:51, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

:That second one is a really good point, and I'm wondering where to make a note of it. Maybe just the article for the video, since we haven't got one for anything like "Chris and self-preservation." [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 09:29, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

Chris seems to have gone a little suicidal.. anyone else noticed?--[[User:MaHexBawx|MaHexBawx]] 17:25, 30 August 2010 (GMT)
:Don't get your hopes up. Chris is far too arrogant to commit suicide. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 10:35, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
I don't understand, does he intend to not play vidya anymore, at least on ps3, or did he destroy it because he wiped his hard drive? -[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 12:47, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:I'm gonna guess he destroyed it in a fit of internal tard rage. He'll make another video soon blaming the trolls for it's demise, and then proceed to buy another one. --[[User:MaHexBawx|MaHexBawx]] 1:03, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:: Every time I think this fucking grand epic is over something happens it's maddening! --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 16:30, 30 August 2010 (PDT)`

==/v/ Is not an acceptable source of information==
Wow, this is terrible. /v/ is never ever ever a good source of information. You should know better. I really don't know how to handle the level of misinformation you guys are experiencing here. It's not as if any of the events leading up to Chris smashing the PS3 have been hidden from the public. There's really no excuse for this level of ignorance. You guys shouldn't be looking to 4chan for the latest Chris news, they are always the last to know and always the most misinformed. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 06:05, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:But it's correct information, but also, this isn't the place to be discussing it.--[[User:NasuGrave|NasuGrave]] 07:05, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
::It's correct in the same way that ED is right about Chris --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 07:10, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Perhaps, then, this talk page (or the video page) is an appropriate place for a link to the location of the correct information? Remember, our job is to educate people about the CWC trainwreck. When people are ignorant, we can't assume it's because of a failing on their part; we have to make an effort to improve cwcki. Ignorance is not a sin, it's an opportunity to become educated.[[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 07:24, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
::::Again, not the right place to be talking about this. --[[User:NasuGrave|NasuGrave]] 07:47, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
::::*Actually this isn't a bad place to discuss it, as it does pertain to the article and how it should address Chris's motives (if any) for smashing his PS3. Stuff will be revealed in time, I'm sure.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:14, 30 August 2010 (PDT)--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:14, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:::::Really, this isn't the place. People are watching this page. --[[User:NasuGrave|NasuGrave]] 13:06, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

==Leaked how?==
How do we have this? Was his computer hacked? Was it a private video to a [[Troll|trusted individual]]? Whether or not he knew this would eventually be public is kind of important, and I don't know where to find that. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 09:33, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

:His computer was indeed hacked, and the only way to remove the bug is to format the hard drive and run the machine over with a car. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 13:02, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

::Lulz. But seriously, what the fuck does "leaked" mean? Where did we get it, and for what audience did Chris intend it? It matters. If this wasn't meant for us to see, then it means that Chris is making an attempt at self-improvement here, an not an offering to satiate our bloodlust (as some contend). --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 21:37, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

:::If you don't know (yet), it's not your fucking business. Also welcome to CWCki. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 23:33, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
::::Sonijew is 100% right, instead of asking, do a little investigation yourself. The answers aren't hard to find, and once you do figure out how/why, you'll see why it wasn't explicitly stated on the cwciki. Oh, and your next post better not be "But where do I start looking?" It's not exactly the secret of Jimmy Hoffa's body. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 06:06, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

:::::Yeh, for what it's worth, it took about ten-fifteen minutes of browsing around for me to get a reasonably good idea of what's happening. Mind you, those fifteen minutes also reminded me why I don't read most of the forums in question on the regular... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 09:00, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

::::Thanks for understanding, Megaman. --[[User:NasuGrave|NasuGrave]] 08:15, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

*I think in cases like this, while there is nothing wrong to ask these questions, it is helpful to appreciate the fact that Chris has done something bizarre in itself.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:25, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

You're right, the answers are very easy to find. Didn't mean to step on anyone's toes- this is literally the first time when Chris's intended audience is unclear and including that seemed like an obvious way to improve the article. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 09:05, 1 September 2010 (PDT)

==Edited?==
anyone else notice that the video skips at 1:52? He claims the video is unedited, and thats believable since he doesn't edit videos at all. Did the person who made the compilation edit that part, or is that just a camera glitch. [[User:DrewPickles|DrewPickles]] 18:14, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:It kinda just looks like it auto-adjusted white balance settings and such. Either that or Chris accidentally hit the record button when he was re-positioning it. I'm sure there's nothing significant about it. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 21:29, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

==Chris's custom console...==
Occurs to me, has there ever been a decent picture taken of his PS3 with the CWC's Adult Chronicles art and such on it? It would go well in the gallery of his other abortions in the video games article. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 09:36, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

==Another sign of huge ego?==
not trying to start a discussion. but, anyone else think that this is worth mentioning that this is a sign of how big Chris ego is? he destroys the PS3 with his car. anyone else would sell the ps triple for cash (plus considering how much crap is on the system) but instead he destroyed it with his car. this kind of a"if i can't have it no one will!!"situations. i think this should be mention within the page as one of the reasons why he destroyed it. plus him destroying the ps3 is destroying tax payers money. also he kept the sonichu cover as a memento and destroying the ps3 shows he still think soinchu isn't one of the cause for all his hardships (tho that all on himself)--[[User:Blackcwc|Blackcwc]] 14:46, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

:Don't be fucking stupid.---[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 13:09, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

===SHUT THE FUCK UP===
--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:21, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Autism

2010-09-04T17:12:26Z

Bealtespip122: /* Not entirely Chris related, but... */

==To do==
*List things Chris has blamed on his autism (like inability to get a girlfriend).
*the e-mail from the Miyamoto saga where he discusses the differences between autism and Asperger's syndrome.
*possible insight from the song [[A-U-T-ISM]]. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:39, 23 March 2009 (CET)

== Question for people who know anything about psychology ==

This is just something I was thinking lately - I realised that good character design needs empathy too. Would anyone say that Chris's lack of empathy also shows up in his character designs? Because to me, he seems to be unable to come up with characters that are outside of his own capabilities, or their polar opposites. His "hero" characters all seem to think like he does. For example, Simonla (or whoever it was) in the date ed episode wanted to name her daughter before she's even found her date - ''because that's what Chris does too''. His villain characters seem to be all based on his views and prejudices, and polar opposites of what he believes in, which makes it easier for him to picture them. Just look at Jason's rant in the Rage Against Garbage: rather than giving the characters unique personalities, he makes them list why they are evil. Good guys are good guys because they do things that are positive in Chris's mind, and bad guys are bad because they do things Chris doesn't approve of. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 13:30, 11 July 2009 (CEST)
*I think that's a fair thing to say. That's why most autistics and ASS PIES tend to become physicists or mathematicians and not writers and poets. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:44, 23 November 2009 (CET)

== Autism papers==
Incorporate shit from [[Autism papers]] into here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:44, 23 November 2009 (CET)

==Chris and Asperger Syndrome==
I propose that we make this into a section on this article, as Chris has made his childish stance on Asperger's pretty clear. He went from seemingly confusing it as Alzheimer's Disease to out right denying it as an Autistic Spectrum Disorder or even a disorder similar to autism for some other kind of issue, likely an egotistical one. What does everyone else think?--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 20:17, 28 November 2009 (CET)
* Not a bad idea. The Asperger's paragraph takes up a big chunk of the intro there, and I think I some more grist for that mill has shown up since that bit was written. Chris is still confused on the whole Alzheimer's/Asperger's tip, he obviously had them mixed up during the Father Call. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 20:31, 28 November 2009 (CET)

With his recent rants on the subject, which seem to indicate that he hates aspies the same way he hates homos, I'm thinking Aspergers Might deserve it's own article. Anyone with me on this? --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:02, 5 December 2009 (CET)
* Yeah, if people wanna break down the comparison between autism and Asperger's in detail and extensively excerpt from the reams of all-over-the-map stupid shit Chris has said about it in the Mailbag, I think that should be its own article. Like I say, I thought the subsection of this article was getting way too big and unwieldy with all the pull quotes and whatnot. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 08:15, 5 December 2009 (CET)
*Very good idea. I was going to transform the Asperger's CWCipedia article into it but I think we can still have a separate article on Asperger's and another of just CWCipedia's article since it's a major Chris writing that explains the difference. But definitely, Asperger's can become a separate article since we have a lot of details now, not to mention it's a huge, recurring theme in the Mailbag which can also be documented. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:02, 5 December 2009 (CET)

I think that it really needs to be noted that many people think of "Aspergers" and "high-functioning autism" as being essentially identical and interchangeable, so for that reason, a lot of people assume that Chris "has" Aspergers (whatever that means) and/or claims to have Aspergers (which is definitely not true). I'm not even sure if there really is a universal consensus regarding a distinction between the two. [[User:Senzuri|Senzuri]] 16:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Asperger's syndrome should still be mentioned here, as people might be coming here expecting to see something about Asperger's, so something brief about how Chris views Asperger's syndrome as being different from autism, with a ''Main article: [[Asperger's syndrome]].'' --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:51, 19 December 2009 (CET)

==Does he even have any idea what autism is?==

He seems to talk a lot about his "autistic shell" and the autism "putting the mute button on him" when he was younger. Is there any evidence to suggest that he thinks autism is anything other than just difficulty speaking?

True, there are language delays associated with autism, but his description of his autistic shell sounds more like anxiety over knowing that every single social interaction he's ever been in before whichever one he's in his autistic shell over has failed miserably. His fucked-up and out-of-control behavior that he refuses to do anything about trying to change is more symptomatic of autism than his knowing other people aren't going to respond well to it. I mean, if you were a grown man thinking about blithering on to a decent human being about the piece-of-shit, sexually perverse, rip-off children's comic you center your life around but never draw, wouldn't you be a little anxious about it, too?

Am I just fucked up here, or...? —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 19:18, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
: I'm pretty sure that he has a general idea about what it is and what it does, but since this is Chris we're talking about; I doubt that we should expect him to understand all of it. --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 19:28, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
::Maybe. I mean, maybe he can define it or read off a printout of a description of it or whatever, but can you think of any specific reference he's made to any symptom in his life other than having difficulty talking? Not in general like just that he's a virgin or something—not that he doesn't blame that on not talking and people hating autistic people or whatever. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 05:16, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
:::I think you're on to something. I don't know that there's much we can actually write about it, because most of what there is to say would be guesswork and inference, but I'd wager that most of what Chris knows about autism boils down to: one, he has it, two, it makes him special, and three, it's a catch-all excuse. The autism awareness/sports bra video might be a springboard for adding a new section to the article, maybe - when Chris wanted to talk about autism in any kind of detail he had to print himself out a crib sheet from Wikipedia. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 11:34, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
:::: Well, he definitely doesn't understand all of it, but I can imagine his parents nagging him about it to an extend where he at least has a general idea of what it does. I agree with Dkaien though, you're definitely on to something. --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 12:14, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
:::: I can definitely understand wanting to avoid guesswork and inference. Obviously, no one knows exactly what's going on inside someone else's head. I guess at the very least I'm suggesting a list of things Chris ''hasn't'' blamed on his autism that maybe he should. He claims to hate autism and want a cure for it and this and that, but then he fucking ''loves'' Sonichu as though Sonichu isn't just a major, debilitating symptom or outgrowth of the autism. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 03:45, 21 May 2010 (UTC)

== Not entirely Chris related, but... ==

I just read an article in popular science about how there are more autistics now than trained therapists, so to cope with he shortage people are inventing "theraputic robots" that somehow make it easier for autistic children to be sociable. The results are pretty hit-and-miss at this stage but what I took away was that autistics are better at handling predictable machines, but could be gradually exposed to more unpredictable circumstances. Maybe we could apply this in future plans? I think the reason CWCipedia collapsed was either our trolling became too predictable, or we made his "comfort zone" too sporadic. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:30, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
:0.5% of the entire population is autistic and they recon that that population is rising, however autism is over-diagnosed. On Chris ide think the best way to troll him is to claim that he is not autistic and/or simply retarded. [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]]
:Hmmmm! That idea ain't too shabby! I'd suggest discussing it in the troll forums. Perhaps that way we can finally obtain the Holy Grail of fail?---[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 10:12, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:ItIsFinished.MOV

2010-09-04T06:59:39Z

Bealtespip122: /* Does Bob even know about this? */

I'll transcribe this. BITCH? [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 11:25, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

I noticed a white box on the end of the line up of PS3 bits. Was that Chris's Wii as well?[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 12:15, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
: I think its just a part of the PS3 --[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 12:21, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

:: No, it appears to be too large to be a Wii.--[[User:Black Lotus|Black Lotus]] 12:22, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

::: If you have a look at some of the PS3 disassembly guides on the web, it becomes pretty clear: the big white bit is the Blu-ray drive. Actually, to put a good fine point on it, the three stacks nearer the camera, left to right, are the disc drive, the top half of the case, and then the motherboard and the three hard drives. In the back, I think it would be the CPU/GPU/fan assembly, the other half of the case, and then the power supply and motherboard shielding. Think I'll maybe add a clarifying note to the article. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 21:48, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

Tune in tomorrow folks as our hero Chris-Chan, goes to Gamestop and buys another PS3 [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 12:29, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
: I wonder if the "heckler" thing has anything to do with Seinfeld. --[[User:DonnieDarko|DonnieDarko]] 12:29, 30 August 2010 (PDT)DonnieDarko

== What about his games? ==

One thing to mention here is that he didn't destroy his collection of PS3 games along with his PS3, so it's very well possible he purchased a new PS3 (He also saved the cover to his old PS3 which could also be a big hint). [[User:Victor Charlie|Victor Charlie]] 16:02, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
*That's exactly what I thought. If he had truly destroyed his "life upgrade" why isn't there any eBay action, Craigslist sales of games or Gamestop trade-in receipts? I guessing he either bought a new slim PS3, tard-raged over the reformatting fiasco, attempted to remove the remaining bugs and bricked it, or has finally cracked.--[[User:PhilRaptor|PhilRaptor]] 23:36, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
::Shut up and wait for THE DRAMATIC CONCLUSION. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 00:01, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

==3 hard drives==
He fucked up the memory for 3 hard drives? [[User:DrewPickles|DrewPickles]] 18:17, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:No, one was his original drive and the other two were ones he bought as upgrades. --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 18:25, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
::So, if he bought a new PS3 (and depending on the state of, and if/how he transferred any files), he might've been able to recover some of his older stuff? Well, at any rate, he fucked it all throughly (to the extent of his capacity to do so; some scrap-seeking electromagnet at the garbage dump oughtta finish it off in the next few days), so moot point. Also: improper disposal of electronic refuse. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 23:22, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

==Does Bob even know about this?==
I don't think he'd be very happy about Chris wasting his tugboat money in such a senseless manner. Unless of course Bob coerced Chris into "cutting down" his PS3 as a last-ditch effort at good parenting? (Admittedly that theory doesn't explain why Chris put it to video, or why he didn't erupt in tard-rage, unless Bob said it was a sure-fire way to stop the trolls and Chrissy bought it hook, line and sinker.)

On a different note, since Chris spent like 5+ years of his life getting those achievements/trophies/whatever, why doesn't he just start all over from the beginning? He's persistent in his Fuck Quest, surely he can be just as persistent when it comes to the second love of his life? He's not going to spend the next 5 years of his life doing anything better anyway... [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 12:14, 1 September 2010 (PDT)
:Perhaps somebody should contact the chandler household and see if his parents know anything about this? Might make for some epic trolling. --[[User:MaHexBawx|MaHexBawx]] 20:12, 1 September 2010 (PDT)
::NO. There are far bigger and better plans already in motion. LURK MOAR. --[[User:Captkrisma|Captkrisma]] 20:26, 1 September 2010 (PDT)
::I concur! Simply putting a stop to things instead of letting it unfold is a foolish idea!---[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 23:59, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Chandler Cats

2010-09-04T04:21:39Z

Bealtespip122: /* Factual Content */

{{Scamper}}

Scamper is my favorite so I made template that says as much. FUCKING USE IT!--[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 21:21, 1 May 2009 (CEST)
: No I am pretty sure Lucy is the best. Those eyes goan getcha. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 06:36, 6 May 2009 (CEST)
:: Kitty is the best because kitty has the best ''hate''. We all need to learn to hate like kitty.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:37, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::: People! People! We all know Desi is the superior cat!--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:04, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Factual Content ==

Recently, it has come to my attention that there is little factual content in this article. The claims that the Chandler cats are not house trained and "shit everywhere" may be grossly exaggerated. The only cited instance of cat feces is in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], where Chris complains of an accident in the kitchen. Any pet owner can attest that pets have accidents once in a blue moon, and one incident doesn't warrant a claim that there is "Cat shit everywhere". Please keep your eyes open for examples that prove the chandler cats are not house-trained.--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 09:14, 8 December 2009 (CET)
*Spoiler - most of the CWCki is "grossly exaggerated" (see Chris's alleged pedophillia, racism, etc.). Sometimes it's a bit much but it's for dramatic effect. Also, have you seen the house vids? In a house like that, they probably wouldn't be reluctant to shit everywhere. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:39, 8 December 2009 (CET)

*You know, in retrospect, Megaman has sorta has a point. That's something we need to work on. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:36, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
*When Chris had to come up with an excuse to escape Alec, the first thing he thought up was "The cat shat on the floor". Given Chris's utter lack of creativity, that makes me think that it's a fairly common occurrence. But if you're worried about factuality, just say that they "may" not be house trained and "may" shit everywhere.
*I've read that cats who shit freely anywhere within the household feel superior to their masters. Now,either the Chandler cats see Bob,Barb,and Chris as inferior to them or the house is cluttered with so much crap the cats tend to shit themselves before arriving to the litter box. Just a bit of info on cats. Even animals don't think much of the Chandlers.--[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 21:21, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

== R.I.P. Desi and Skittles. ==

Judging by the Jackie Emails, Desi and Skittles are either completely dead or completely missing, as Chris says he has only 3 cats and names the other three.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 20:21, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:Desi probably ran off. Skittles being so damn old is probably dead. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 23:27, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::Dead or missing, at least they're in a better place. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:34, 13 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Desi looked like an awesome cat. The Chandlers did not deserve her. Well, they don't deserve any living creature, really. --[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 19 June 2010
:::: Nooo! *cries* Desi was my favorite cat!--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:04, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Sydney Kirsch

2010-09-04T03:34:33Z

Bealtespip122: /* Relevance? */

==Article Name?==

What do we think about the current article name? Can anyone think of a better one? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:08, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
*I say Sydney Kirsch would be an appropriate name. --[[User:Shearod]] 0:12, 13 May 2010 (CST)
*Champthom mentioned this. He noted that most troll name pages (such as Vanessa) tend to be about the troll, while the other information goes under a saga page. Sydney was far, far too short, private and fail to be a saga IMHO. Yet her personality is very unrelated to Chris and therefore shouldn't be awarded its own page (AKA Matthew Devoria). Sydney can be summed up in a few sentences. Yet, there are phone calls as well as emails, so it's not clear cut. I considered 'Sydney Trolling Effort', 'Sydney Trolling Fail' and a few others. This was the most neutral I could think of. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 07:01, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
:: I'm sorry, but this definitely can't count as a saga. Way to short, and nothing noteworthy came out of it. At best, it's a crank call. It was a noble attempt, but it seems even Chris has gotten tired of his sweetheart search... We either need to bring liquid out of retirement or have Alec raise the stakes by taking control of sonichu. Once they best him, the depression should drive him back into his ill-fated sweetheart search --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:19, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
::*I completely agree and said as much. It's not a saga. It's a little more detailed than a prank call, given the leadup, but... Hmm. I'm still inclined to go with it's current name, although it still doesn't seem right to me. Beat is perfect, maybe he can provide a name. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 22:39, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

I agree, Sydney Kirsch is fine. On a side note, Chris mentions he has access to pvcc? [[User:Frozenblwf|Frozenblwf]] 22:50, 13 May 2010
*Well, it could be that or EDF, or somewhere else, but Chris didn't specify which forum he got the info from. [[User:Fefnir|Fefnir]] 05:56, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
*One, sign your fucking posts. Two, he has no access to PVCC. He reads EDF and checks the front page of the CWCki every now and then. That's it. Three, reverse my username.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:15, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*kruLraoM? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 07:15, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*ʞɹnןɹɐoɯ?--[[User:Rosechupenis|Rosechupenis]] 08:24, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*emanresu ym?--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 08:52, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*Sydney Kirsch makes sense. Should I add a small synopsis to [[Trolls]] for her? I figure unlike Jackie it's indesputable even for Chris that Sydney was a troll. [[User:Koba|Koba]] 11:38, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Sure, if you feel she's worthy of a brief mention. Just mention that Clyde threatened her into doing it and that Chris found her out by reading the troll forums. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 14:01, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:::*Done. [[User:Koba|Koba]] 14:54, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

==Relevance?==
I know, "No shit is too minor", but this really doesn't add anything to the CWC canon. Should we make a page for every failed troll? The only thing I can see that is interesting is that it shows Chris adapting to the trolls. That probably warrants a footnote on the troll page, at best, not a whole article. --[[User:WarOfTheBees|WarOfTheBees]] 14:58, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:You know how scientific claims require evidence, especially when they contradict a previously established fact? Well, Chris recognizing and adapting to reality is a big fucking paradigm shift given his previous behavior, '''especially''' regarding sex offers. [[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 15:31, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*I agree that the relevancy of Sydney mostly lies in Chris recognizing publicly a sweetheart troll, and whatever you wish to make out of his comment of him reading troll forums. Also the "Don't hold my cleavage against me" is pretty amusing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:38, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

:* Sydney here- I do agree to a limited extent. Note the very long time between when Sydney was busted, vs when the information was leaked to the CWCki. There were many reasons for this, but amongst them was "Is it worth it?". I was the first to admit that CWCki is for documenting Chris, not trolling attempts, and I've never tried to bigname myself. I DO, however, think that this represents a big shift in Chris's thinking and should be documented- see any pages on Sandy Sasayaki around here? Or Simon Sasayaki? It's not like every troll persona I make gets a page, even if I spoke to Chris directly, or even gets mentioned anywhere. But Sydney is different. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:53, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:* To be honest, I feel like this really didn't add anything as far as information goes although I feel this could just be mentioned somewhere else at best rather than giving it it's own page.[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 20:34, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

== Rename to Sydney Kirsch ==

Category Trolls. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 12:19, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

== Voice? ==

I'm tempted to add some notes on the fact that "Sydney" is quite obviously a man speaking in a falsetto, but I'm not sure if it would just clutter the page, or even where to really bring it up. I think that might also be why Chris is a bit suspicious about the whole thing: though with his [[Julie|track record]] who can say... [[User:Inkmonkey|Inkmonkey]] 23:50, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

:*Ronichu is the hybrid Sonichu/Rosechu. That's why his/her voice is so deep. SYDNEY IS ALL WOMAN! --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 08:20, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:General

2010-07-16T16:31:09Z

Bealtespip122:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Chris and Love Suggestion? ==
I was thinking we should add a new article on the "Chris and...." series. Perhaps "Romance"? Maybe give an insight on his idea of being romantic. I feel we could write good article on this. There's a shit load of cheesy awkward sayings. Also,an observation on his behavior on dates with trolls could be good. Just a thought. --[[User:Bealtespip122]]

* Not a bad idea. Because Chris has blurred the line between romance and sex. With him, it's one in the same. Would be interesting to poke at I think. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]

Aye, "romance" to him is just a means to an end. He sees act of dating as not about two people enjoying each others company, it's just to test compatibility so they can eventually fuck. Anything beyond that is just a ruse to keep the woman interested. I can't imagine him having a sincere desire to have an emotional connection with another human being, he just wants to be coddled and pleased. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:10, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*[[Love quest]] more or less seems to cover this.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*I'd say the Love Quest really covers his attempts at "reelin' in da ladiez" and being thwarted by outside forces. Not so much as a personal insight into what Chris thinks is romantic or sweet. --[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 16:31, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Bealtespip122

2010-07-15T20:57:30Z

Bealtespip122: Created page with 'Err.....I like The Beatles?? I love making fun of manchildren. = P'

Err.....I like The Beatles?? I love making fun of manchildren. = P

CWCki:General

2010-07-15T20:39:30Z

Bealtespip122: