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2015-08-11T06:47:41Z

Beanmachine91: Blanked the page

Gaybian

2015-08-06T20:42:26Z

Beanmachine91: a wild gaybian appears!

[[image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|A wild gaybian appears!.]]

'''Gaybian''' (pronounced [ˈgeːbiən]) is a [[CWC-ism]] for a male lesbian that has sexual feelings for women, devised by [[Chris]] in [[February 2009]]. It was introduced in the [[Clyde Cash]] blackmail [[YouTube]] videos, containing his confessions of being [[homos]]exual.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009]]</ref>

==Gaybianism==
It transpires that this was Chris's get-out clause of confessing that he was gay, in a "fingers crossed behind his back" way. As Chris used to believe that [[Anna McLerran|lesbianism]] is perfectly fine and natural, while showing disgust for male homosexuality, this is Chris's way of justifying homosexuality. This is probably because on an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'', when asked about homosexuality being a choice, a lesbian Meg knew said nonchalantly "well, not for guys" (which was the whole joke of the episode, not that Chris notices). This would explain why when confronted with a lesbian [[fan]], he'll say that he's "disappointed."

The whole "male lesbian" thing may be stolen from British comedian and transvestite [[Wikipedia:Eddie Izzard|Eddie Izzard]]. If so, Chris probably didn't realize that while some men do consider themselves lesbians, Izzard, being a comedian, ''was joking''.

He also doesn't seem to realize that claiming to be a "male lesbian" implies transsexualism.

As of [[2011]], Chris is a [[Tomgirl Pictures|full-time gaybian]]. He runs around [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] in his Tomgirl outfit, even using the woman's bathroom on one occasion.<ref>[[Tomboys_And_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Girly_Things_Tee_Hee|Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia forums]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Cwcbraorig.JPG|Gaybian [[fashion]] in [[2008]]...
Image:TG20.jpg|...and [[Tomgirl Pictures|2011]]...
File:CWCYellowDress.jpg|...and [[2014]]
File:TG10.jpg|Damn!
File:TG18.jpg
File:TG14.jpg|Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard....
Image:Gaybianad.jpg|The [[TRUE and HONEST]] gaybian website
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Homos]]
* [[Tomgirl Pictures]] (gaybian fashion in [[2011]])

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Sonichu's Edge

2015-07-29T01:09:30Z

Beanmachine91: /* Video */

[[File:Mirror's Edge.jpg|thumb|left|The truth about the video title.]]
[[File:ParkayTwentyFifteen.jpg|thumb|Chris wishes he were eating this instead.]]
[[File:Sonichu's Edge.png|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

"'''Sonichu's Edge'''" (officially "'''Sonichu's Edge.MP4'''") is a video uploaded on 3 [[December 2009]], in which [[Chris]] goes "[[Father Call|jogging]]". The title is a not-too-subtle [[parody]] of the 3D platformer ''[[Wikipedia:Mirror's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]''.

Based on the accompanying [[3 December 2009|Captain's Log]], he made this to show that he is "pumped up for [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pushing Sonichu out]] into merchandise." This video proves that Chris has no idea what "jogging" is. He is sprinting (for him) in this video, obviously missing the point that jogging is a slow, easy run. Chris inserts many obvious jump cuts (at 1:30, 1:58, 2:25, 3:00, 3:22 and 3:42) where he's run out of breath and needs a break due to how [[Chris and health#Exercise|out of shape he is]].

Chris calls his running "[[Wikipedia:Parkay|parkay]]", confusing the acrobatic sport [[Wikipedia:Parkour|parkour]] with a brand of squeezable margarine, as well as "light jogging" with "parkour" in general.

One can only imagine what the citizens of [[Charlottesville]] must have thought as a fat, sweaty [[slow-in-the-mind]] went puffing by at a little-over-walking pace with a camera dangling from his obese neck.

An e-mail in [[Mailbag 16#Parkay analysis|Mailbag 16]] pointed out that Chris ran about 579 yards (529 meters) in 3 and a half minutes, at a very stilted jogging pace of 2.8 m/s (6 mph / 10 km/h), nowhere near the 5 miles (8 km) or 30 minutes he claimed it would be in his call with Kacey's Father. Chris seems unable to estimate measurements of length and time.

Chris has [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris lies about how much he can run|declined to record another running video]], blaming the battery in his camera.

==Video==
{{Protip|Do not watch this video if you are prone to motion sickness (I doubt that).}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu's Edge
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AJn_UE3kTrM}}
| stardate = 3 [[December 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[3 December 2009]]
| next = [[Holiday Greetings]]
}}
{{quote|There may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my breath. Of course that's what you expect, even from the [[Sonic|best runner]].}}

=== Transcript ===
[''brandishes [[Amnyfest Ring]]''] Hello there, [[fans]]! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown [[mall]], where for the [[Sonichu]] franchise and city of [[CWCville]], and everything like that, I'm gonna do [[Chris and English|a parkay]] from this point [''camera spins around to show some sidewalks''] all the way down to the gara--parking garage [''camera spins back to Chris''] where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held. And for this viewing, the camera will be hung around my neck right about here. [''gestures to the [[Sonichu medallion]]''] To get--see what I see from that point of view. And, also, uh, there may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my--my breath. [[Obesity|Of course that's what you expect]], [[Chris and reality|even from the best runner]].

[''Jump cut. Camera is now apparently hanging around Chris's neck. Chris's hand comes into frame for a second for him to flash the Amnyfest Ring.'']

Alright, here we go!

'''0:42-1:20''' Chris begins running, relatively slowly. His path seems to be pretty erratic. Breathing can be faintly heard.

'''1:21-1:30''' Chris enters a populated area. Though the jerky camera makes it difficult to see, several people seem to stop and stare at him. At 1:28, Chris's heavy breathing becomes audible.

'''1:31-1:44''' First jump cut. For those keeping score, Chris stops to rest after forty-eight seconds of jogging. He continues through the shopping center, his hands occasionally coming into frame.

'''1:45-1:46''' Chris goes in between some trees.

'''1:47-1:58''' Chris's breathing starts becoming heavy again.

'''1:59-2:15''' Second jump cut. Chris runs past a [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|happy couple]], and then runs down some stairs.

'''2:16-2:25''' Chris passes by a large [[Christmas]] tree. Around 2:20, his movement begins to slow down considerably.

'''2:26-2:33''' Third jump cut.

'''2:34-2:41''' Relaxing [[guitar]] music fades in and out as Chris passes a group of buskers playing "[[wikipedia:House of the Rising Sun|House of the Rising Sun]]".

'''2:42-2:54''' Chris continues onwards.

'''2:55-3:00''' Chris runs past a small bus.

'''3:01-3:16''' Fourth jump cut. Chris runs through some decorative trees.

'''3:17-3:21''' Chris rounds a corner, and approaches an open door.

'''3:22-3:32''' Fifth jump cut. Chris is now inside a building. He trudges up some stairs, clearly walking.

'''3:33-3:42''' Chris passes someone going in the opposite direction. He continues upwards.

'''3:43-3:50''' Sixth jump cut. Chris apparently reaches the 4th floor and exits a door into the blinding sunlight.

'''3:51-4:10''' Chris is now on the top level of a parking structure. He runs across the parking area. Around 4:05 his breathing becomes very heavy. At 4:10, he reaches his destination. The camera shows a large tented area on the ground far below.

See? Amphitheater. [''Camera spins around back to Chris, who flashes the peace sign''] Thank you for your [[trolling|continued support]]!

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu's Edge
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eGKCSS-QUkE}}
| stardate = 4 December 2009
| maker = IBAClydeCash
| subject = Sonichu's Edge
| type = (VG) Parody
| info = Replaces Faith with [[Chris]].
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Doodle- Parkay
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RuqRS3KVnQs}}
| stardate = 11 December 2009
| maker = TheOfficialCWC
| subject = {{Fanart|text}}
| type = Speedpaint
}}

==See also==
*[[3 December 2009]]

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=104235379233340359048.000479de54a1731a2b512 Chris's Route as detailed by Google Maps]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N1TJP1cxmo The trailer for what Chris is failing to imitate]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[3 December 2009]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings]]|}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-03]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2009-12-03]]

Chris-chan Sonichu

2015-07-29T01:04:04Z

Beanmachine91: chris chan is not by any means a furry!

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:CWCSonichu.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Chris-Chan Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24th February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| <s>Male</s> Female
|-
| '''Length'''
| N/A
|-
| '''Weight'''
| N/A
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| N/A
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| N/A
|-
|}

{{quote|Chris-Chan's origin is unknown but when he is needed to help the Chaotic Combo, he is there. Quandry is brought up on the Sonichu-Head mark on his chest.|[[:Image:124-ACChanBck.jpg|Chris-Chan [Sonichu] ''Animal Crossing'' card]]}}

'''Chris-chan Sonichu''' is [[Chris]]'s full-on Mary Sue self insert in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. In [[October 2010]], Chris [[ECV 00002|actually transformed into Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

== Background ==
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|thumb|right|Fun fact: Chris-Chan Sonichu also appears in Chris's sex fantasies.]]

When [[Christian Weston Chandler]] uses his [[Sonichu medallion]] to summon the Electric Hedgehog power of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], he is transformed into the legendary hero, Chris-Chan Sonichu. This alter ego allows Chris to join in the adventures of his creation [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], inevitably leading to his self-insert stealing the spotlight from his own original character. Chris-Chan Sonichu (or simply "Chris-Chan"), looks exactly like a blue Sonichu, who is just a yellow Sonic the Hedgehog, which puts us right back where we started.

In the early years following Sonichu's creation, Chris identified himself with the character directly, portraying potential love interest [[Sarah Hammer]] as [[Rosechu]] and rival [[Wes Iseli]] as [[Black Sonichu]]. At some point Chris found it necessary to more fully distinguish himself from his creation, and created a new set of hedgehog alter-egos for himself, Sarah, and Wes. As revealed in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Chris, Sarah, and Wes are the reincarnations of Native Americans who possessed "anchuent powers" necessary to oppose the evil of [[Count Graduon]]. Upon discovering the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Chris is shown how to transform into Chris-chan Sonichu by pressing his medallion.

Chris-Chan Sonichu's powers seem to be the same as those of the regular [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] powers, plus flight (in ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', he claims it gives him the ability to use the powers of all the Electric Hedgehogs, though he can do that even as a human), and the medallion is apparently absorbed into his flesh, leaving a white mark where it used to lie. His only known weakness is that if the white mark is pressed he will revert back to fat, useless human Chris. Being vulnerable to a single poke in the chest would seem to be an insurmountable disadvantage, but Chris invariably transforms back with little effort. This is most likely a ripoff of two characters: [[Sailor Moon]], who had reverted to normal at least twice after having her transformation brooch damaged, and the Z-Putties from [[Power Rangers]], mooks who'd explode after being struck on the Z-shield on their chests.

After the theft of his medallion in real life in [[October 2008]], Chris rushed out a story meant to appear in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], in which the medallion is stolen in the comic as well. In the story Chris realizes that his Chris-Chan Sonichu powers came from his [[High School Ring]] all along, and that he does not need the medallion at all (although he uses his limitless power to reclaim it nonetheless). The purpose of the story appears to be to show the [[trolls]] that despite stealing the medallion they had not stolen Chris's Electric Hedgehog power, which is insane even for Chris. Compounding this batshittery, in ''The Sonichu Chronicles'' Chris feels it is necessary to explicitly tell [[Nintendo]] that he does not have Electric Hedgehog power in real life.

Chris incorporates his Chris-Chan Sonichu form into his sex fantasies too, as seen by the picture to the right. The fursona made an appearance in a sex audio session with [[Julie]], with whom he role played being Chris-chan Sonichu and sending shocks of electricity through Julie's wet [[china]]. In the "[[Giant Penis Comic]]", Chris depicts the consummation of his storybook marriage to [[Ivy]], showing himself and his lover transforming into their respective animal forms to properly yiff in holy matrimony.

Chris-Chan Sonichu also appeared in the video [[ECV 00002]] in [[October 2010]], when Chris [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplayed]] as his comic fursona at the request of then current sweetheart [[Jackie]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>

== In the Comic ==
=== [[Sonichu 0#Introductions|Introductions]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu is briefly alluded to during the Introductions segment following the end of Episode 1 of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], alongside [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Saramah Rosechu]]. Chris doesn't immediately state that it is his Sonichu form in the comic, merely implying that Chris-Chan Sonichu and the others will have some significance later.

=== [[Sonichu 0#Classic Sonichu Strips|Classic Sonichu Strips]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu appears in two of the five Classic Sonichu Strips. One of them is a Mother's Day special, in which he and [[Sonichu]] team up to save [[Barb]] from [[Naitsirhc]]. At the end of this strip, Chris-Chan Sonichu transforms back into [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|regular Chris]] to talk to his mother, thus [[Chris and writing|ruining any attempt]] at dramatic build-up Chris may have been trying to establish with the vagueness on Chris-Chan Sonichu in the Introductions segment. The other strip is a simple fight with [[Jerkops]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] held over the course of two pages. Chris of course gets his ass handed to him immediately, and has to be saved by Saramah Rosechu, who is revealed to be [[Sarah Hammer]], thus ruining that surprise too.

=== [[Sonichu 0#Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"|Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"]] ===
In case the reader missed it the first time in the Classic Sonichu Strips, Chris more explicitly transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu here in the very first [[Sub-episodes|Sub-episode]] to fight the [[Jerkhief]], complete with [[Anime|transformation sequence]]. The Jerkhief gets robot armor, and Chris gets [[Pokémon]] moves. He defeats Jerkhief, who then attempts to shoot him. Chris responds with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and curses him with "bad luck and extreme misfortune", also causing his wife to leave him and the man to lose his house and his beloved children. In light of revelations later in the comic that all the Jerkops were really just brainwashed minions who didn't know any better, this scene later became even more horrifying.

=== [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"]] ===
For the first time, an actual explanation is given for why Chris has magic hedgehog powers. This episode features Sonichu happening upon the Destiny Cave and taking Christian back there, where he places his [[Sonichu Medallion]] on the pedestal and gains his powers for the first time. This would seem to indicate that this episode is the first canonical appearance of Chris-Chan Sonichu, and the Sub-episodes and strips that feature him take place some time afterwards.

=== [[Sonichu 2#Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"|Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"]] ===
Chris-Chan appears here with Sonichu some place just outside of [[CWCville]], described by a map reference Chris added on the page only as "rough terrain". Dialogue indicates that the two had been training offscreen, and Chris accidentally discovers how to change back into his human form; the mark on his chest. Wes then attacks, Chris and Sonichu dodge, the two of them have a long boring debate in which [[Chris and his Ego|Chris is obviously meant to be right]], and then they fight. Chris loses and is saved by Sarah intervening, just like in the strip.

=== [[Sonichu 2#Episode 9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in "The Evil that Stomped CWCville"|Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in "The Evil that Stomped CWCville"]] ===
The fight from last issue stops and Chris, Wes and Sarah all have a long boring discussion about the past in which Chris and Wes both whine a lot, eventually ending when [[Count Graduon]] finally appears with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. They realise that he was the evil they were meant to fight, and so they team up to rip off ''Sonic Heroes'' and use their ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Heroes|Team Blast]]'' attack to destroy a stone golem that Graduon had summoned. They then all change back and head home to talk more.

=== [[Sonichu 2#Sub-Episode 3: Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"|Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"]] ===
Chris one day randomly decides to go to Mary's hideout at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and kill her. He breaks in through the window in his Chris-Chan Sonichu form, makes a self righteous speech, attacks her, and gets beaten up yet again. Mary does this by hitting his singular weak point; the white mark on his chest, and he changes back into his normal self right in front of her. In theory, his identity was supposed to be a secret up until this point, even if a poorly hidden one given that he specifically mentions [[Christian Weston Chandler]] in his above mentioned speech, but nevertheless it is at this point Mary ''officially'' knows that it's him. Sonichu then steps in to save his father after his failed assassination attempt, and between them they manage to completely atomize her. It should be noted that this entire Sub-episode is just a redrawn version of a previous Classic Sonichu Strip, except that Chris did not transform in the last one.

=== [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|Christian Chandler in "McAttack"]] ===
Chris is bothered in the [[Get-Tar]] region by [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]]. Always the coward, Chris quickly gets assistance from [[Darkbind Sonichu]] to help him out in the fight, and the two teams battle it out. Because Chris transforms whilst wearing his [[Anime Wings]], he becomes an upgraded version of his regular form, ''Super'' Chris-Chan Sonichu, who is essentially regular Chris-Chan Sonichu plus the flying ''Wing Cap'' powerup from ''Super Mario 64''. He defeats B-Manajerk whilst Darkbind defeats the Merried Seinor Comic, and Darkbind leaves shortly afterwards, just in time for Chris to get ambushed by the cyborg [[W-M-Manajerk]], ending the sub-episode on a cliffhanger.

=== [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 5: Christian Chandler in "McAttack Part 2"|Christian Chandler in "McAttack Part 2"]] ===
Chris spends most of this episode in his human form, but becomes Chris-Chan Sonichu again towards the end. After Chris uses the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to will his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] into existence, the two of them then both transform into hedgehogs and fight W-M-Manajerk together, her having a weird [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldier]] themed form called Crystalina Rosechu. The two eventually defeat W-M-Manajerk and throw his severed head all the way back to PVCC, where it hits Mary and knocks her off her chair. She is then mocked by a cuckoo clock bird that Mary had for some reason programed to insult her and shout words of support for Christian.

=== [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 7: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target"|Christian Chandler in "Off-Target"]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu is featured right away on the first page of this Sub-episode, as the first two pages are a reprint of the Classic Sonichu Strip from before where Chris gets beaten up at the mall by Jerkops and is saved by Sarah Hammer, with the addition of a single panel in which the defeated Mary swears to come back and defeat him with the "strongest most evil villian [sic] ever". Said strongest most evil villain ever turns out not to be [[Count Graduon]], the ancient evil spirit who had threatened the ancient [[Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi]] clans, but some guy called [[Bagget]], who is essentially a regular [[Jerkop]] dressed in a brown ''[[Power Rangers]]'' suit. Chris transforms, fights him, reverts to regular Chris, and then Bagget brings in his "[[Transformers|Change-Bot]]" called [[Crackder]], and picks up Chris, only to drop him from a high height. The Sub-episode ends on another cliffhanger.

=== [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"]] ===
Chris is defeated in human form and captured by Bagget early in the issue, and then taken back to PVCC to be executed via giant cooking pot. Crystal saves him at the last minute and the two of them transform. The two in their transformed states form the combo team "[[Chris-Chan Pure]]", and using the most weeaboo move in the entire ''Sonichu'' series, the [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]], they defeat Mary and Graduon. [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] is freed of their evil grasp, and so Mary and Graduon go to take over [[Manchester High School]] instead.

=== [[Sonichu 5#Episode 12: Christian Chandler in "My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding"|Christian Chandler in "My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding"]] ===
Chris attends Sarah Hammer and [[William Spicer]]'s wedding in secret, via unexplained invisibility powers, and intervenes when Wes shows up again to kidnap Sarah. Chris transforms to fight him once more, but this time they battle it out with ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards instead of [[Pokémon]] attacks. Chris yet again gets curb-stomped by a superior foe, but is also saved again. This time the heroes are [[Sailor Megtune]] and [[Megagi La Skunk]], who save him from another attack and force him to finish the battle and win.

=== [[Sonichu 5#Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"|"Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"]] ===
Mary Lee Walsh attacks the city so Chris transforms again, also calling in his sister, Sonichu, Rosechu and the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Mary then lets out the [[CADD Chef]]; a giant robotic duplicate of Chris's CADD instructor from PVCC, and the Chris-Chan Pure defeat it. Eventually, Mary reveals the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and attempts to trap Chris inside it. Entering the mirror causes Chris's form to deactivate, and also fulfills another portion of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], granting [[Naitsirhc]] dark powers as well and giving him the ability to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]]. Chris is pulled out of the mirror by Crystal, who sacrifices herself to save him by throwing herself into the mirror in Chris's place.

=== [[Sonichu 6#Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"|"Evil is Afoot!"]] ===
After deciding to use the [[Sonichu Balls]] to rescue Crystal from the Dark Mirror, Chris hears a noise downstairs in the mall and comes across Reldnahc Ha-Taque robbing a jewelers. He chases him down, finding out whilst doing so that he was secretly Naitsirhc, transformed by the dark powers he had received, and the two fight in hedgehog form. The fight leads to [[Manchester High School]], which appears NOT to be controlled by Mary Lee Walsh, and the fight ends when Chris is, (you guessed it), defeated and then saved by someone else leaping in from nowhere, this time [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].

=== [[Sonichu 9#Episode 20: CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu does not appear again until the end of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], as after Episode 14, the comic focuses on a non-violent time travel story which did not show Chris-Chan Sonichu at any point. The story then ends with Chris getting lost in the [[Time Void]], and he is absent from subsequent issues. Chris is pulled out of this Time Void at the end of ''Sonichu'' #9, at which point he is already in Chris-Chan Sonichu form for some unknown reason.

=== [[Sonichu Special 1]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu appears in ''Sonichu Special 1'' as part of the brief fight with Cly, the comic alter ego of [[Clyde Cash]], whom he defeats and rescues [[Ivy]] from. This comic's [[Sonichu chronology|placement in cannon]] is unclear, as Chris first met Ivy through [[Chris and religion|literal divine intervention]] whilst he was still stuck in the Time Void, and she had died in the Battle of [[CWCville]] by the time he got out.

=== [[Giant Penis Comic]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu also made a two page cameo in the ''Giant Penis Comic'', where Chris transformed into him temporarily for sexual purposes during his honeymoon with Ivy. Ivy in turn used a form known as "[[Ivy#Honeymoon|Princess Ivy]]", though how she had such power is not clear. This comic is also subject to cannon issues mentioned above.

=== [[Sonichu 10#Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities|Christian Chandler in Director Amenities]] ===
Following on from ''Sonichu #9'' Chris spends most of the early pages of this issue in Chris-chan Sonichu form, running around CWCville doing many minor "[[chores]]". Among other things, he destroys the old Tripod building which used to host [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|his site]], killing a bunch of [[Devil Trolls]] who had got inside whilst doing so, met up with and had a date with [[Lovely Weather]], his confirmed future wife, and ended up getting accidentally captured by [[Beel]] and [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. The two of them stole his [[Sonichu Medallion]], but in doing so they discover that the medallion was a decoy all along, and that the true source of his power was his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. He nevertheless still takes the medallion back, which he passes on to his trusted sweetheart [[Blanca]]. He then destroys the building, kills Beel, and moves on to fight Reldnahc in the park, who he defeats and injects with the Gay Vaccine from the FutureTM. This is the last time in the comic that Chris-chan Sonichu is seen, as for the rest of the issue Chris chooses to commit any further atrocities in either human form or as the super powered [[Colossal Chan]], and the series was put on indefinite hold after the issue was completed.

=== Future ===
In a Facebook post from 21 [[May 2015]], Chris revealed a new story involving Chris-chan Sonichu. In the time that has passed since his last appearance in Sonichu, Chris's character in the comic came out as a lesbian transwoman. Sometime afterward, his help was needed in defending CWCville from Count Graduon. For this task Chris transformed into Chris-chan Sonichu, and after defeating Graduon and his underlings found out to his delight that his new Sonichu form was that of a female. The new Chris-chan Sonichu had large breasts, a vagina, a uterus, ovaries and ovium. Learning of his capability to reproduce as a female, Chris-chan Sonichu imregnated himself with a sample of his own semen that he had previously preserved when he was in his human form. Graduon attacked Cwcville again afterwards, but was thwarted by Chris-chan Sonichu once more. Afterwards Chris-chan Sonichu tried to transform back into his human form but was not capable of doing so. It would later on be found out that this was because his attempt at self-insemination was successful. Two weeks afterwards, Chris-chan Sonichu laid two eggs and transformed back into his human form. A Sonee that was named Russel and a Rosey that was named Cynthia hatched from the eggs three weeks later.<ref name="RusselandCynthia">[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref>

It is not fully clear under what species of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] does Chris-chan Sonichu's falls; in the original post Chris describes Comic-Chris's self insemination as occurding while he's in a "(female) Sonichu form" and not in a Rosechu forum. Likewise, even after his sex chance the character is still called Chris-chan Sonichu. However, in one his follow up comments to the post Chris said that Chris-chan Sonichu can be cosidered to be a Rosechu. In another comment he considered changing the character's name to "Chris-chan Roeschu".<ref name="RusselandCynthia" />

The Faceook post describing Chris-chan Sonichu's sex change and self-insemination also included a drawing illustrating Chris-chan Sonichu's new female form.<ref name="RusselandCynthia" /> Chris-chan Sonichu's new design does not differ significantly from his previous one. His shoes are now green and blue rather than black and white, his tail has changed into a heart shaped form (probably because female Pikachus have similar tails<ref>[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Pikachu_(Pok%C3%A9mon)#Biology Pikachu Biology]</ref>) and he has large breasts, but other than that he retains his previous physical characteristics. The shape of his ears is the same as that of male Sonichus (such as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Punchy]] and [[Magi-Chan]]) and is not similar to the shape of the ears characteristic of Rosechus (such as [[Rosechu]], [[Angelica]] and [[Bubbles]]).

== Powers ==
Being a [[GodJesus|God]]-mode sue for Chris, Chris-Chan Sonichu has shown many powers over the course of the comic, any one of which should theoretically allow him to win any battle, but none of which are ever used except as a finishing move, and sometimes only in conjunction with another person helping. Chris's powers allow him super speed, flight, teleportation at will, use of [[Pokémon]] attacks, the ability to summon swords or bombs made of lightning, and, as a human, the ability to make himself invisible, kill people with his mind, put curses on people and use any and all powers of the Chaotic Combo, which Chris claims his Chris-Chan Sonichu form is capable of as well.<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref> In the order that they were first mentioned or used in the comic, Chris-Chan Sonichu's powers include, but are not limited to:

#Mega Kick
#Double Team
#Mirror Coat
#Thunderbolt
#Barrier
#[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]
#Super speed
#Hyper Beam
#Mach Punch
#[[Wikipedia:Sonic Heroes|Team Blast]]: Blue Fireball Attack (with [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Saramah Rosechu]])
#Flight (as [[Anime Wings|Super Chris-Chan Sonichu]])
#Aerial Ace (as [[Anime Wings|Super Chris-Chan Sonichu]])
#Substitute
#Sky Uppercut
#Double Corkscrew Kick (with [[Crystalina Rosechu]])
#Sword of Lightning
#Mega Punch
#[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]] (with [[Crystalina Rosechu]])
#Quick Thunder
#Lightning Bomb
#Chaotic Control
#Reflect Dome

Please note that only the powers Chris-Chan Sonichu is seen using are listed here. Human Chris's powers and [[Collosal Chan]]'s powers are excluded from the list.

==Trivia==
*Chris-Chan Sonichu, despite his massive arsenal of powers, is defeated in the comic more than any other character, proving that even in his fantasy world, Chris fails miserably.
**This is possibly due to the fact that Chris is usually the main character in the later comics. This shows that even in fiction, Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|ego]] proves to be his downfall.
*After his initial appearance, Super Chris-Chan Sonichu is never seen again, as the [[Anime Wings]] are lost after the fight.
*Chris-Chan Sonichu rips off the design of Sonic the Hedgehog more than any of Chris's other creations.
*Although Chris later claimed that it was his [[High School Ring]], and not his [[Sonichu medallion]] which gave him his Electric Hedgehog power, the ring is not seen on Chris's finger in ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' when Chris first transforms at the Destiny Cave.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_5</ref>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:125-ChrisChan.jpg|The fursona himself.
File:126-YuCChan.jpg|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' Card.
File:123-ACCChan.jpg|''[[Animal Crossing]]'' Card.
File:124-ACChanBck.jpg|Whenever he needs to take the limelight for himself, he's there!
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichu.jpg| As he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Super-mode.jpg|Chris-Chan Sonichu IRL.
File:Med 80.jpg|Chris-Chan Sonichu [[medallion]] made by Chris for a satisfied [[eBay]] customer.
File:True and Honest Fan Art.jpg|Artist's depiction.
File:Soldier of Love and Honesty.png|[[Sailor Moon|Soldier]] of [[Sex|love]] and [[HONEST|honesty]].
File:128677654690.jpg|Chris-Chan Sonichu with a [[rainbow]] backround.
File:CCSonichu1.jpg|[[Tomgirl Saga|Transformation]] from [[JERKS|male]] to female.
File:CCSonichu2.jpg|[[Women|Female]] Chris-Chan Sonichu [[amiibo]].
File:CCSonichu3.jpg
File:CCSonichu4.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER
| video = {{#ev:youtube|LsFeQTlFoEk}}
| stardate = 20 [[August 2012]]
| maker = PatientBC
| subject = [[Anime]]
| type =
| info = Original video: [[ECV 00002]]}}

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Collosal Chan]]
*[[Sonichu medallion]]
*[[High School Ring]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2015-07-29T00:48:42Z

Beanmachine91: when you say couldn't and/or can't care less you're saying you can/could care more! *SMH*

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Comic CWC.PNG|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24 February [[Sonichu chronology#1982|1982]] (IRL)
24 March 2005 (in universe)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human (can transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]])
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Mayor of CWCville
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
|-
|}

[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the character.]]
'''Christian Weston Chandler''' is a character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. Within the comic universe, [[Chris]] has not opted to portray himself as a [[Obesity|fat]] [[autism|autistic]] slob who refuses to work; rather he is the respected mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and a deific character beloved by all.

Despite the sub-episodes in which he appears ostensibly concerning the real Chris, he can't seem to keep from invoking superpowers and fictitious plot contrivances.

In December 2014, it was revealed that, just like his real-life counterpart, Comic Chris has become a [[Tomgirl]].

==In the comic==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double-chinned Chris.]]
[[Image:CWC collage.jpg|thumb|left|Chris is a master of consistency.]]
Chris depicts himself as Mayor of his fictional town, [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, comic-Chris is popular, good-looking ([[Chris and art|notionally speaking]]), and surrounded by adoring women (whose real-life counterparts are generally [[trolls]], [[Gal pal|gal-pals]] who [[Megan Schroeder|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]]). He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and use any and all of the powers of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] at will, thus rendering Sonichu and company completely superfluous.

Any characteristics comic-Chris possess stem from Chris's attempt to portray himself as the lovable loser type of character, known from any generic romantic comedy. He is portrayed as noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. However, so as not to appear to be a COMPLETE Mary Sue, comic-Chris also has trouble with [[Love Quest|finding a girlfriend]], is shown to have a limited ability to fight off his [[Manajerks|enemies]], and is regularly in need of help from his supportive friends in order to overcome his problems. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] are not mere paraphernalia - they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]].

He is of course Mayor of CWCville, complete with [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work]], which she takes with a smile. However, his actual role relative to the citizens of his city is closer to god-king than mayor; his office is permanent and indisputable, and every character reveres him as their creator and supreme being, and is unswervingly loyal to him for no reason. If it weren't totally obvious, Chris's comic persona is a pure wish-fulfilment Mary Sue.

===Atrocities===

Predictably, Chris's creation of a world in which he is god results in even more insane behavior than is exhibited his real-life counterpart, primarily due to him (and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|superpowered goons]]) possessing the power to actually carry out his [[Death threats|threats]] in a controlled environment where he can (attempt to) portray himself as morally superior.

In only 11 issues (including 4 specials), he permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|someone]] [[Megatron Pistol|by]] [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting]] him in the legs after he'd surrendered, [[Sonichu #0|completely destroyed the life]] of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job and then callously mocking him by saying that [[Chris and his Ego|''he'd'']] suffered worse, sealed up and destroyed a populated building whilst ensuring no living thing escaped and later trying to blame it on the building's lackluster security, broke into [[Mary Lee Walsh|an old woman]]'s home and brutally attacked her to the extent of causing paralysis, directly ordered the murder of over one thousand five hundred people in the self-perpetrated destruction of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, carried out a Holocaust on [[Homos|homosexual]]s and asexuals, and arranged a [[Sonichu #10|show trial]] for [[Asperpedia Four|four men]] in an openly biased court, before personally executing them in brutal and inhumane ways, forcing [[Kel|chil]][[Sandy Rosechu|dren]] to commit first-degree murder in the process, for the crime of making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]].

It should be noted that Chris's avatar undertakes all of these activities with self-righteous euphoria, and offers no justification, nor does he display any remorse.

===[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]===

Right from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, Chris drawing himself only semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu'' #0 is one of the rare issues that is actually based primarily around the idea of Sonichu as the protagonist.

===[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]===

''Sonichu'' #1 is Chris's lowest-key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own [[Chris and art|drawing ability]].

===[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu'' #2 Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Chris depicts himself as the messiah of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], an event which will dominate the rest of the series to the point of [[Sonichu]]'s redundancy.

===[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]===

After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a back seat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[jerkop]]s. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokémon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imagined sister, [[Chris and Sex#Incest|on whose beauty he remarks numerous times]].

===[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]===
[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris. So kawaii~.]]

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] - a long-standing love interest of his - is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who only wants what's best for her. Of course, in reality, Sarah could have cared less what Chris thought of the wedding, [[Chris and his Ego|but Chris felt that showing his acceptance was vitally important]]. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], who makes her début appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also introduces the pseudo-manga art style (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize later comics.

By the next episode, things starts to get confusing. Yes, Chris is Mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all of [[Virginia]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who would to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]===

''Sonichu'' #6 is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to run a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who inexplicably gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction Location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making bizarre and scarcely-comprehensible "hints" that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]]. Even in comic form, Megan wants none of this.

===[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in [[Issue 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].]]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Sammy]] together.]]
[[Image:Set1pic2.jpg|thumb|Comic Chris as of 2014.]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked Megan into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, at this point, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most manga-esque issue to date, which in turn results in Chris's self-depictions being hugely inconsistent in style.

This issue is also notorious for its introduction of [[Sammy]]. Intended to be a bumbling, Peter Griffin-type counterpart to Comic Chris, Sammy is extremely stupid, [[Obesity|massively overweight]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]], which results in a far greater resemblance to the real Chris than Comic Chris has ever had.

Halfway through making this comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[Time Void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action in the comic.

===[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris somehow emerges temporarily from the time void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[The Oversized Drinking Straw|over-sized drinking straw]] picture, while [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]] cheer him on in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterward.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===
Even though Chris remains trapped in the Time Void, he can't resist including himself substantially in this issue. The first time he shows up is during [[Ivy]]'s "vision" portraying her being with Chris as told by [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]]. The second time is at the end of the comic. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the [[Time Void]] and end up pulling Chris out of it. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], unveils some sort of plan (which isn't elaborated) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''.

===[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and immediately places himself in the middle of the spotlight. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]]. As such, whatever small narrative restraints Comic Chris had possessed have been extinguished, and the character acts purely as a mouthpiece (and avenging fist) for his creator.

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood so they could use it for a vaccine. Chris, however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving a hundred people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

Chris is then attacked by [[Naitsirhc]], but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality and asexuality (since Chris for some reason does not like that either).

[[Meg Griffin]] of all people suddenly turns up and claims to be fan of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really [[Silvana Rosechu]] in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris takes the time to apologize without really apologizing, this time with a babbling insincere speech to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed something comparative to genocide against them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, now transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]], which he does by breaking into Asperchu/Alec Benson Leary's house, fingerbanging his "[[Xbox|HEXBox Pavilion]]" to the breaking point and turning Asperchu and the rest of the comic cast into "improved" versions of themselves.

After this, Hobo-Chan fights [[Mary Lee Walsh]], leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a lifetime in CWCville's maximum-security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furore). After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessings and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are then brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by ''tearing him apart'' with his psychic powers.

The huge issue finally concludes with Chris urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in His name, for great is His wisdom and His benevolence.

===[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]===
Chris has yet to appear in the unfinished ''Sonichu'' #11, although since it is set at [[Christmas]] his actions will probably pertain to the Yuletide in some way.

===Present Day===
Despite no longer producing the comics proper, Chris made sure to update his in-comic incarnation to reflect his [[Tomgirl|professed sexual orientation]]. He draws himself as a complete female, with a feminine shape (relative to the featureless rectangles he generally uses for bodies, that is) and breasts. His [[hair]], greasy, thin and receding in real life, is full and feminine. As is customary, his [[heterochromia]] is hugely exaggerated and he is intended to look attractive.

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris_fan_art|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] - the personification of his God complex
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homos|homo]] side
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]
[[Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers]]

Love Quest

2015-06-28T04:27:28Z

Beanmachine91:

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]]<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.9]]</ref>.}}
{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|Well, so much for that.}}
[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]
[[File:Tumblr lg8dq2DmiR1qbc13do1 500.jpg|thumb|Artist's impression of Chris on his Love Quest.]]
The '''Love Quest''' or '''Sweetheart Search'''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Lori Lopez]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref> is the ongoing, real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to obtain a girlfriend. The stated purpose of the Love Quest is to meet the woman who will be his true love, solve all his problems and bear his children. However, Chris believes all of this will be assured upon his first successful [[Chris and sex|sexual intercourse]] with a woman, and so for all practical purposes the true goal is to lose his virginity.

Chris is known to have had crushes on girls prior to [[2002]], but the Love Quest represents a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfillment, except improve himself. He has often linked the Love Quest with what he claims to be visions from [[GodJesus]] commanding him to father [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a daughter]], as well as his desire to prove that he is straight; at times these seem to be the only actual reasons Chris wants a lover.

To this day, the Love Quest is ongoing, with Chris (unsurprisingly) not having made any progress whatsoever in finding a romantic partner. He has [[Facebook|claimed]] to have enjoyed partial success to the extent of losing his virginity. However, as with other [[Honor roll|achievements Chris claims to possess]], it is still the subject of debate.
==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Hammer]] during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian, "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]." Chris unexpectedly learned that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his mix of longing and disappointment by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. (This acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation - see the [[Megan]] section below.)

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest was his twenty-first birthday, 24 February [[2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he does add that it may have had something to do with some remarks he made about fellow classmates and non-white people<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). While waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, realizing there was no one to comfort him like when he cried at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>, suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans out of sheer laziness.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be assumed that his initial approach was to walk up to women cold, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (sometimes "single, boyfriend-free girl"), as if this were not already obvious.

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' business card.]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue (possibly with a song and dance) about seeking true love; and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, but over the years Chris has demonized her into a brutal harpy whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him.

Undaunted, Chris simply made a new sign, and a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy, leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, since Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend. According to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in this idiot's pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few electric hedgehog Pokémon short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, he ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!", just like the movies. The entire incident was a crippling blow to Chris's self-esteem and the kind of thing that would be embarrassing for anyone. He also apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall again. Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He interpreted this to mean he was not banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. According to Chris, the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him...

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to [[JERKS|any Man other than myself]], because they all have [[infinitely high boyfriend factor|taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none]].” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering once again. Chris refused to leave at first. When store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation; in reality, it's more likely that they saw he would not surrender and tried to arrest him peacefully, and he resisted to the point that they had to completely subdue him out of fear of his 'tard rage.

In the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded by Mary Lee Walsh from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at Target. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the Attraction Sign made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him for more than five minutes (although she compliments him for tolerating ''her''). In Chris's mind Megan was already destined to be his sweetheart, and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]. All of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was largely unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_does_not_regret_the_Meganporn_and_claims_drawing_it_helped_prevent_him_raping_her]]</ref> Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Encyclopedia Dramatica did not ruin Chris's relationship with Megan, but Chris's obsession with defeating ED definitely did, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly is and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and not the fact that he drew it in the first place. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008, until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a "lonesome fella" can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous tactics and even asking his answerer to be his sweetheart.

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear — in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage — that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this. At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing - a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Chris maintains a profile on OKCupid, but does not seem to have visited in several months. His OKCupid profile is about what you would expect in terms of portraying himself and demanding what he expects from the girl in the relationship.

==Beyond the 'Net==
Chris's stated ambition to [[100 2189|leave the Internet forever]] suggests that he may return to looking for love in the real world. His visit to the Charlottesville [[Fridays After Five]] event in June 2010 featured a drastically shortened version of the old Attraction Sign scrawled across the front of his [[muscle bra|sports bra]].

Whether he'll stick with this approach remains to be seen, however. He has never been able to stay away from the Internet for long, and it's hard to imagine that his current strategy for pulling girls in real life will work out very well for him.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) still on the internet. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==Fuck Side Quest Completed==

On 12 April 2012, the following status message from Chris's [[Facebook]] was leaked:

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

Given the short time it took for them to meet and do the nasty (in ''her'' room, no less), her comparing him to her last partner and [[Lie|telling him what he wants to hear]] about his [[Duck|dick]], and the extremely telling fact that Chris does not consider her a sweetheart (saying his 'sweetheart-to-be' will find out about this), it seems rather plausible. In retrospect, it makes a [[Hooker_incident|certain statement]] he made to a certain [[Clyde Cash|troll]] all the more hilarious, where he states that him getting a hooker would not be the ideal way for his "Love Quest" to end.

==Promotional Images==
During his Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Needless to say, it had the opposite effect.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|10/10 Would bang.
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = LOVEQUEST
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MC-4GDBDa8A}}
| stardate = 20 [[May 2012]]
| maker = Spelling Bee
| type = }}

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Asperchu/Background

2015-05-26T05:08:29Z

Beanmachine91:

Could someone please update this?--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 01:34, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

All I could say is, Argentum is a reference to the plane of Mirrodin (formerly Argentum) in Magic: The Gathering
--[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 05:08, 26 May 2015 (UTC)

I'll write some updates for characters and such in the next day or two, in between putting up new pages. But I don't want to fill it all up myself, having outsider perspective helps me create. [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] 11:17, 4 January 2010 (CST)

On second thought, my time is devoted to getting Asperpedia up at the moment. By which I mean Clyde is doing most of the work, but what fleshing out I do goes there first over here. so I might not update much here soon. [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] 21:12, 6 January 2010 (CST)

I think this can (mostly) be integrated into the Asperpedia and then we'll just provide a link to the asperpedia from here. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:45, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
*I think that there needs to be some sort of concise version of Asperpedia here, at least the basics of the Asperchu canon - who people are, how it relates to Chris, and maybe some drama involving Alec and Chris. People wanting more details about the world of Asperchu can go to Asperpedia then. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:29, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

==Move to main namespace==
Spaskid would have a shit fit if he saw this, but I'm considering moving this to the main namespace. I feel that Asperchu's presence of the CWCipedia in advertising, not to mention its significance to troll culture and especially Chris's comments on Asperchu warrant a reference in the main namespace mostly because it's starting to become that it's handy to know what Chris is talking about when he mentions Asperchu.

However, let's look at the pros and cons: 
'''Pros''': main name space meaning people can find it by default search. 
'''Con''': could set a bad precedent - pretty much as long as Chris mentions a fan work, that could make it go to the main namespace. In fact, technically the "Sonichu is Gay" comic and Asperchu could go into the main namespace by current notability guidelines. Spaskid particularly freaked out about being in the Fan namespace, believing it was some sort of insult, and I don't want to piss off other fan artists who think it's not fair Asperchu gets to be in the main namespace and theirs doesn't.

This is a rather big precedent so I'd like members of the CWCki community to weigh in on this. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:29, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*Move the article when Chris has a major rage about Aspechu. At that point the article will be more about Chris's reaction to Asperchu than Asperchu itself, so it will make sense to take it out of the Fan namespace. --[[User:Chugger|Chugger]] 11:01, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*The final judges of notoriety are you, cogs, and clyde, last time I checked. It looks like clyde's pretty enthusiastically behind Asperchu (he said it's the next big thing somewhere, don't ask me to find it). So if Spaskid (or any other 'fan artist') wants to spaz about being in main namespace vs fan namespace, tell them to f-off and make their own CWCki. When something is straddling the line between main and fan, it's your call which way to send it. As long as you guys are rational about it, the sane majority among us will go along with it. The buck has to stop somewhere! --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 17:47, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*keep it in fan until tomorrow (if my plan works.) [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:39, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Another plan of epic trolling? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 19:51, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*also, the audiobooks were always in the main namespace due to how early the article was made. it actually had nothing to do with trolling chris until fairly recently so... [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:40, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

::*Audiobooks was mostly kept on the main namespace mostly because 1) its significance to CWC trolling culture, 2) a definitive third party presentation of the comics that disseminates Chris's comics to the masses, etc.
:::To address Umad's comments, actually, it's up to all of us to determine notability. What is notable to me, Cogs, and Clyde might not be notable to everyone else and visa versa. Ultimately, part of having a wiki is to have discussions and debates such as these so we can achieve to some optimal result, such as what constitutes notability. I personally don't approve of some things that go on the CWCki but since the masses seem to do something that works, I let them and sometimes I'm proven wrong.
:::For instance, Chugger's proposal is something I didn't immediately think of and as you can tell, this is the route we're going - we'll keep this Fan article to discuss the fan specifics of Asperchu (characters, plots, etc.), whereas the Asperchu article in the namespace will document the drama (Asperchu saga, perhaps) between Chris and Asperchu. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:33, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

*Of course I can't really offer an impartial vote, but I'd be honored if this gets into the main space. Frankly, I'm rather confident the time for that will come, because I'm not going to stop doing the comic, and we know Chris isn't going to stop getting madder and madder about it. [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] 01:04, 11 January 2010 (CST)
**I wrote a tentative article about Alec Benson Leary and how chris was reacting to him in [[User:Beat/Sandbox|my sandbox]]. I figured it was a pretty good middle ground. An article that covered Chris's reactions to Asperchu, without really focusing on Asperchu as a fictional character.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:12, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
***yeah, just keep the fan page here, make a new main asperchu page for chris v asperchu also i'm sleepy [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:55, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

== Improvement ==

Yes, there's Asperpedia but seriously, we need a concise guide to Asperchu for those who don't feel like wading through the entire Apserpedia. We don't need, for instance, discussions on locales or stuff like that, just brief character descriptions, plot descriptions, Chris's commentary on the series, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:00, 18 January 2010 (UTC)

*I'm currently working on adding stuff to the character sections, including references to the Asperchu characters' real-life counterparts. I won't change anything that's already there. --[[User:GodBear|GodBear]] 00:45, 21 January 2010 (CST)

== Larry D. Waltz ==

Is it me, or does Larry have a slight resemblence to [[Jimmy Hill]]. Would that be notable enough to mention? [[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 15:43, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

== I did some cleanup ==

More cleanup and wikification still neeeded. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 11:52, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

== About the Yellow Devil ==
Hey. I'm the guy who wrote most of the articles on Asperpedia. I just want to clarify that Yellow Devil isn't an Asperchu clone. I didn't know he was a Megaman reference and I fucked up there. Just saying. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:54, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

==Ian's Death==

I get how it mirrors Evan(obvious) and Sean(a bit more subtle), but I don't see how it copies the death of Mao.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:29, 14 April 2010 (UTC)
*It dosn't. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 18:57, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

== Two Clyde Cashes? ==
I've heard on both this page on on Asperpedia forums, people talking about the Bald Clyde Cash from Sonichu Special 1 in here. I've looked on Asperpedia and on Comicseries. I've found no traces of a bald Clyde Cash in Asperchu. Intrestingly though, I notice that the Issue 5 summary mentions there being two Clyde Cashes, but no mention of Jason Kendrick Howell. Where did this TwoClydes business come from? Did someone somehow mistake Jason for Clyde or am I missing something? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:20, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
* Yeah, that was my fault. I mistook Jason for Clyde there (used to him having the hood over his head 24/7). I'll fix it.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 02:40, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
* I see. For future reference: Without the hood, Jason looks like Big Boss. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 03:39, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Is Dino Dash the same as Clyde, or are they two separate characters? [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 15:21, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

== Bios needs to be updated ==

In particular Sonichu's (Solid Sonichu now). --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:16, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

== Liquid needs a better pic ==

--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 16:26, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Images ==

I was wondering if it was alright if I added pictures of the Asperchu crew? If no because of space, understood fully. I have, of course read the help section for image sizes, format, ect. I will not upload any until I am told I can. [[User:Demendred|Demendred]] 20:07, 29 June 2011 (PDT)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page
** In [[Asperchu/Background]] on 2011-09-20 22:29:44, 404 Not Found
** In [[Asperchu/Background]] on 2011-09-28 07:53:27, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:56, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

14 Branchland Court

2015-05-24T04:16:09Z

Beanmachine91:

[[File:14bc1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2012.]]
[[Image:Chandlerhousegooglemaps.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
{{quote|No burglar would ever want anything in this house.|Chris, being surprisingly ([[Manchester High Leaks|almost]]) modest.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#No burglar would steal Chris's stuff|Mailbag 44]]</ref>}}

'''14 Branchland Court''', [[Ruckersville, VA]] is the vile lair of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]], [[Christopher's name change|Christopher's ghost]], [[Clover and Snoopy]] and the surviving [[Chandler cats]]. It was a white (now faded to ivory) two-story house trimmed in pink (faded from a dark red) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of Ruckersville, but since its renovation has been repainted in beige with dark green shutters. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house is just past the local trailer park, and nestled in a lower middle class suburban community. Built in [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], and with no major work done since [[1986]]<ref>[[:File:14BranchlandCourt.png]]</ref>, the house shows its age with its tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding. As a result of its dated look, in addition to the decaying gardens and overgrown yard, it has done a number on local property values.

As of [[March 2009]], all space not used for walking or sleeping appeared to be packed full of junk. However, in earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday [2002], for instance), the house seemed reasonably tidy. In his [[Tour of Christian's House|video tour]], Chris also keeps referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has grown fuller and fuller in the past decade. "Clutter" is, of course, a horrible understatement. The house is packed with crap. Its former living room is unusable, with junk filling the entire space and reaching within two feet of the ceiling. Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid blocks of shit, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] revealed that Chris's parents were aware of the house's condition (what with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and fear that [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's video tours]] may elicit the attention of the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. Trolls made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to simple maintenance, like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts appear to be just enough to keep him from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis. His mother has threatened to kick him out of the house if he tries to throw away her worthless junk.<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a computer, but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Apparently, Bob was too lazy or unwilling to provoke a fight, as he just stopped using the computer.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

In [[Rocky Shoemaker call|a phone call]] to [[Rocky Shoemaker]], it was revealed that 14 Branchland Court was infested, and that the parasitic infestation caused [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] to be "covered in bug bites" before his death from heart disease.

On 10 January 2014, Chris reported that the house had sustained major structural damage from an [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|early-morning house fire]] following an electrical shortage. Chris, Barb, the dogs, Lucy, and other possessions made it out safely, but the state of the house and the family's possessions is (as of 11 January) considered unknown.

On December 6, 2014, Chris had announced on Facebook that 14 Branchland Court had been renovated and that he and his mother would be moving back in. Although Chris was temporarily detained in jail after his misadventure on [[26 December 2014]], he was later released on bail and moved back into his house in January 2015.

==History==
Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from his birth (24 February [[1982]]) until his family moved him to the Richmond area, some distance away, in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. After the move, which took place in fall [[1992]], Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in [[2000]] after Chris graduated [[high school]]. In [[100 2178|a video]] released in [[May 2010]], Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. (He attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system; but, as this article will explain, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.)

==The Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|right|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.]]
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain".|Chris to [[Julie]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}
In two videos uploaded on 27 [[March 2009]], Chris provided a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so full of junk that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court.

===First floor===
[[File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|250px|Bob in the family room.]]
In the north corner is what Christian describes as "the [[music]] room", which is primarily the domain of [[Barbara Chandler]], who frequently sleeps there. A small bathroom is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the utility room, in which the family keeps a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The family room (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by the late [[Bob Chandler]], who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, they have yet to be filmed.

===Second floor===
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|[[Barbara]] moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in April [[2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

[[Chris's room]] is in the north corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the east corner, is a filthy bathroom, which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown/green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The kitchen and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris uses for Internet access seems to be in this part of the house, as is a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] over a webcam feed. This implies that Snorlax (and Bob, when he was still with us) never actually leave the areas in which they sleep and spend their days there, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wants]] undisturbed. The living room, packed with boxes and shit, is across the stairway from Chris's room.
{{clear}}

===Yard===
The Chandlers' yard consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. The plants in the planters have long since [[Chris and death|died]]. The backyard contains a shed and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where [[Bob]] would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where [[Patti]] once played. Her [[Father Call|5-10 ton doghouse]] still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being lazy, Chris cannot summon the strength to pick the damn thing up.

However, in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start his [[Love Quest]]), we can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and healthy trees. Many people speculate that over the years, Chris's parents have gotten too old or too lazy to care for their garden, leaving the area neglected.

As of [[February 2012]], the yard has been completely obscured by trash, junked cars, and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|God knows what else]]. From the street one could barely stand the smell and only the bravest of Ruckersville's citizens dare to venture past.

In 2013, a troll passing Chris's house in his car uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwZKGe4BOSE a video], showing the front yard almost completely covered by an overgrown lawn, in addition to the above.

==The Tour II: Electric Hedgehog Boogaloo==

In 2013, a [[Tour_of_Chris's_House_II|video was leaked]] by [[Alec Benson Leary]] showing the state of Chris' home since the last tour he gave in 2009. Needless to say ''(especially in light of eyewitness reports of his front yard in 2012)'', the house has become even ''more'' of a mess since then. Whereas Chris had at least ''some'' room to maneuver in the 2009 Tour Video, here, the passageways have become so narrow and jam-packed that even he complains about all of the clutter being in his way. The kitchen, in particular, has become an unsightly mess- the Chandlers apparently couldn't be half-assed to put away their groceries, so it's strewn all over the place. The living room, already an ocean of rubbish, has gotten worse, with the accumulated clutter now towering over Chris to the point where he has to stretch to get footage of it. The bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the [[ShowerClean|last video Chris released of him cleaning it]] - and he even admits so himself in the video.

Even the stairs of his home have become cluttered with nonsense such as Christmas ornaments, boxes and bags, which could spell disaster if Chris or [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] have to evacuate the premises. Also notable is the fact that every so often, Chris can be observed picking up random pieces of garbage from the floor as well.

In [[Chris and his Ego|typical Chris-Chan fashion]], he describes his room as "the cleanest of the whole house", despite it having unsightly masses of clothes everywhere and even an unmade bed that he couldn't be bothered to at least straighten up before making this ill-advised video.

When he steps outside, he basically confirms what trolls have documented as early as 2012: that his lawn is ''completely'' overgrown to the point where it has utterly consumed one of the structures in his yard. Also unsurprising is the fact that after Bob's death, the garden shed has been completely abandoned.

Given his commentary, it ''almost'' seemed like Chris acknowledges that he has kept his home in a very unacceptable condition....right until he blames [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barbara Chandler|parents]] for being "hoarders" and [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|totally shifting blame away from himself]], ''despite'' being the "man" of the house.

By this time, the bug infestation appears to have been gotten rid of, or at least contained. It was stated before that the infestation was so bad that Chris was confined to his room in order to avoid getting bitten, but in this video, no bugs are seen and Chris makes no mention of them.

==Destruction of the Chandler Household==

[[Image:14 Branchland Court on Fire - Copy.jpg|thumb|right|Witness image of 14 Branchland Court on fire. On Facebook, Chris blamed Keurig for causing the fire, but later let slip in an email that it was plugged into a "heavy-duty" extension cord in the basement bathroom.]]

On 10 January 2014, a [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|fire broke out]] at the Chandler household. According to Chris, this was caused by a worn extension cord plugged into a coffee machine, which sparked and started the blaze. Chris, his mother, the beagles and Lucy (one of the cats) made it out safely, surprising when you consider how much clutter was obstructing the stairways. The firefighters could not effectively navigate the house through either door, and were forced to enter through the windows. One of the cats died in the fire and was buried in the backyard.

The Chandlers escaped with little more than the clothes on their backs. Chris wrote that he was able to take his wallet, medication for his mother, some clothes, and his iPhone. The day after the fire, he and his mother were allowed to reenter the structure, and he learned to his relief that many of his personal possessions, including his games, his computers, and his artwork, had survived. His [[Lego]] [[high school]] was partially melted. Chris was also observed on [[Miiverse]] shortly after the fire, suggesting that he managed to save his [[Nintendo]] 3DS or Wii U at some point. However, it can be assumed that much of the hoard suffered fire, smoke, and/or water damage.

As completely tragic as this incident was, it did not come as much of a surprise, given Barbara's hoarding and Chris's unwillingness or inability to control his mother's compulsions or properly clean. As pointed out by quite a few concerned people, the house had ''always'' been a health and safety hazard, and it was only a matter of time before disaster struck. Sadly, Chris was unable or unwilling to act on this well-meaning advice, and, as a result, reaped what he and his family had sown.

Chris and his mother stayed at a [[Rental House|rental house]] for most of 2014 as repairs to 14 Branchland Court were made. They also rented a storage locker. For reasons which are not entirely clear, the renovation of the house took much longer than anticipated. Nevertheless, the worst fears, that the house would be condemned or the renovations would not be finished, were unrealized. In December 2014 and January 2015, the Chandlers moved back in.

==Return of the Chandler Household==
[[File:14bc215.jpg|thumb|left|A renovated 14BC.]]

On the 6th of December, 2014, Chris announced on [[Facebook]] that his home had finally been repaired, and he would be moving back in near the start of the [[2015|new year]]. While some are hopeful that Chris would learn from this experience, take better care of his home and not cause it to be the clusterfucked fire hazard it was last time, it ''really'' doesn't seem hopeful, [[Autism|given]] [[Barb|certain]] [[Chris_and_health#Living_conditions|factors]].

Ever a busy man, Chris managed to fit a [[26 December 2014|run-in with the law on Boxing Day, followed by two days in jail]] into his moving schedule. Once he was released on bond on 29 December, Chris was shortly back to complaining about having a "Charlie Horse [sic]" from moving his mother's hoard back to the house. Because, you know, that was his main concern, rather than his impending trial in February. Naturally, it doesn't seem to have crossed his mind that, being a repeat offender, he might not get to enjoy his renovated house for long.

After Chris' second hearing in April started and finished half an hour early, and they failed to make it in, the Christorians who took it upon themselves to attend decided to make the most of their visit and go on a tour of and take photos of the major places in Chris' life, including 14 Branchland Court. Their photographs showed that the Chandler headquarters have been modernised, and no longer looks like ''total'' shit. This is partially due to the modernised exterior, and partially due to most of the hoard still being in storage. Photographs also showed some sort of outhouse in the backyard raised off the ground, and currently full of the hoard.

==Mail==
{{quote|Hand-Written and Hand-Drawn Submissions are also accepted, ONLY addressed to: Christian Weston Chandler 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968. ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well.|Chris on contacting him, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia]|2=[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia copyright page]}}

If you would like to send a letter to Christian, or perhaps mail his mother some of the many [[nudes|NOODZ]] he has posted on the Internets in recent times, you can contact him at:

:''Christian Weston Chandler,''
:''14 Branchland Court,''
:''[[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]],'' [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545,''
:''[[United States of America]]''

'''NOTE:'''
:Based on previous experience with mail, it is likely that one of two things will happen to the letter should you choose to send it;
*It will be intercepted by Chris, who apparently takes his mother's mail on a regular basis.
*Barb will receive it and dismiss it as old news. Reports show that she has read some of the letters, seen everything in them before, and ignored them accordingly.

==Visiting==
[[File:House-fail-bursting-at-the-seams.jpg|thumb|The possible current state of 14 Branchland Court.]]

When occupied by the Chandlers, visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and trades the deed to it for magic beans, are ill-advised. Harassing the Chandlers at their house is not only the paragon of [[ween]] behavior, ''it is also a criminal offense'' and will probably result in you getting arrested. Chris and especially Barb shouldn't have to contend with the troll horde within the sanctum of their own home. We shouldn't have to say it, but '''do not visit 14 Branchland Court to troll Chris or Barb.'''

Unless, of course, you ''are'' personally invited. To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned whilst Chris hides, crying, behind his mother.

==Chris and his address==
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Possibly Chris didn't realize this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.

==Gallery==
On 7 [[September 2013]], some pictures of the house were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BranchlandCourt1.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt2.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt3.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt4.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt5.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

On 3 [[March 2014]], pictures of the house post-fire were leaked on the forums. On the 3rd and 4th shots, note the damage to the left half of the roof, matching the location of the shot of the actual fire.
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BCPostFire1.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire2.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire3.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire4.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

On 14 [[April 2014]], more pictures were leaked on the forums.

<center>
<gallery>
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</gallery>
</center>

Yet more pictures were leaked in [[April 2015]], showing the house as it appeared after the renovations.

<center><gallery>
File:14BCApril2015I.jpg
File:14BCApril2015G.jpg
File:14BCApril2015F.jpg
File:14BCApril2015D.jpg
File:14BCApril2015C.jpg
File:14BCApril2015B.jpg
File:14BCApril2015H.jpg|Barb's car, still for sale.
File:14BCApril2015E.jpg
File:14BCApril2015.jpg|The front yard, still a sty.
File:Bobs greenhouse.jpeg|Bob's old greenhouse.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]
* [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Tour of Chris's House II]]
* [[Destruction Of Chris's House]]
* [[Chris's homes]]
* [[Property tax assessment]] - Last appraisal of the house made by Greene County before the fire.

==References==
<references />
{{Places}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

Minor Family Members

2015-05-18T17:43:24Z

Beanmachine91: /* Unnamed relatives at Oklahoma */

[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Chris]]'s family has several '''minor family members''' about whom not enough is known to constitute their own articles. The family members who do not reside at [[14 Branchland Court]] generally lead relatively normal lives.

==Chandler family==

===Patricia===
Bob's first wife, and mother of Drs. Carol and David.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> Virtually nothing is known about her (in fact, her name wasn't even discovered until Bob's obituary was released), other than the fact that she had divorced Bob at some point prior to 1980, when he married Barb, and was still alive at the time of Bob's death.

=== Carol Chandler ===
'''Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler''' (born 7 July 1969)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle">[[:File:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref> is Chris's half-sister and daughter of the late [[Bob Chandler]] and his first wife Patricia.

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "[[Chris and English#Spelling|Geinus]]" [sic] and "wiz".<ref>[[Chandler Family Tree]]</ref> She is known to have won the [[1980s#1988|1988]] Mathematics department McShane Prize at the [[University of Virginia]].<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20121116162715/http://artsandsciences.virginia.edu/mathematics/newsevents/awards/index.html Department of Mathematics, University of Virginia] (archive from 16 Nov 2012)</ref> Carol attended [[Providence Middle School]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Later, she was a member of [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]]. She earned a Ph.D. and is or was working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. She and Bob seemed to have a negative or distant relationship, as it was implied in the [[Savannah]] messages that she did not attend his funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref>

=== David Chandler ===
[[Image:Davidchandler.jpg|right|thumb|David Alan Chandler.]]

'''Dr. David Alan Chandler''' (born 28 November 1962)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle" /><ref>[http://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-david-chandler-x6gx6 Dr. David A. Chandler, MD - Mechanicsville, VA - Ophthalmology | Healthgrades.com]</ref> is an ophthalmologist (eye doctor/surgeon) in [[Richmond]], Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of [[Bob Chandler]] and Bob's ex wife Patricia, and older half-brother to Chris. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s obituary told us that his wife's name is Kimberly.<ref name="BobObit" />

David went to high school in [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]],<ref name="richmondeye.com">[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp D. Alan Chandler on Richmond Eye Associates site] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)</ref> studied medicine at [[Wikipedia:Virginia Commonwealth University|Virginia Commonwealth University]], and trained at [[Wikipedia:Washington Hospital Center|Washington Hospital Center]].<ref>[http://www.wellness.com/dir/2474208/ophthalmologist/va/glen-allen/david-chandler-richmond-eye-associates-md]</ref> He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party,<ref>[http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/david-chandler.asp?cycle=08]</ref> showing that, at least, he agreed with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.<ref name="richmondeye.com"/>

Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January [[2004]] and learned then that David had a daughter by the name of [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]], making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather. [[Chris and Reality|Chris also falsely claimed it made Barb a grandmother]].

[[CWC's Diary|Diary]] entry:
{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

One weekend Chris and Bob traveled to David's house visit his family. The family was not at home, so Chris and Bob left gifts with the next door neighbors to give to them; an angel for Savannah from Bob and squinkles with a display from Chris<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler2.jpg]]</ref>.

Unlike Carol, David attended Bob's funeral. At the funeral Chris presented him with further gifts to give to Savannah.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler.png]]</ref>

=== Uncle Wayne ===

A copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Chris's DVD]] that was sent to a troll included a list of people whom Chris wanted to present in the DVD, but could not do so due to not having a picture of them. One of those people was an uncle from Bob's side called Wayne.<ref>[[:File:Chrispaper2.jpg|Chrispaper2.jpg]]</ref> Virtually nothing is known about him.

=== Unnamed relatives at Oklahoma ===

During the course of two prank calls Bob mentioned that he has a cousin as well several [[Cherokee]] relatives at Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref> Virtually nothing else is known about them.

=== Jonathan Carey ===
[[File:JohnKerry.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's cousin?]]

Jonathan Carey<ref>http://www.woodfuneralservice.com/obituary.aspx?MemberId=55269&MName=Corrina%20Weston%20Carey%20Inge</ref> is a distant relative of Chris (the son of Barbara's sister's brother-in-law), who was married on the last weekend of June, [[2009]]. He lives in Red Oak, [[Virginia]]. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did not murder [[BILLY MAYS|Billy Mays]]{{cite}}.

June 2009 Wedding Photos:
<gallery>
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 2.jpg
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 3.png
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 4.jpg
File:ECP 00077.jpg|And an unwanted gift, too!
</gallery>

===Uncle Raymond ===
Uncle Raymond is Chris's uncle, and presumably Jonathan's father. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the brother of [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]], making Jonathan her nephew.

===Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom===
[[File:0039-AuntHerriet.jpg|thumb|left|This is pretty much all we've got.]]
[[File:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|thumb|right|Save for this.]]
'''Harriet Ashby''' (née '''Weston''') is Barbara's sister. She was born on 9 Jan 1947, and was married to Thomas Eugene Ashby on 29 May 1964 in Charlotte County, VA. Thomas was born on 28 Oct 1942.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d150.html#P150</ref>

Harriet seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE and HONEST [[United States of America|American]] patriot. Tom, according to Chris, is a retired fire inspector, and offered Barb advice after her [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]].

As Chris told [[Catherine]] during her real-life meeting with him, Harriet and Tom still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but do not allow her over to their home. They have not even told Barb what their address is. Barb possibly went after Tom very aggressively when she was young.

{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

== External links ==
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp Dr. Chandler's profile] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)

==See also==
*[[Aunt Corrina]]
*[[Cole Smithey]]
*[[Savannah Chandler]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Family Members]]

Minor Family Members

2015-05-18T17:42:18Z

Beanmachine91: /* Weston family */

[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Chris]]'s family has several '''minor family members''' about whom not enough is known to constitute their own articles. The family members who do not reside at [[14 Branchland Court]] generally lead relatively normal lives.

==Chandler family==

===Patricia===
Bob's first wife, and mother of Drs. Carol and David.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> Virtually nothing is known about her (in fact, her name wasn't even discovered until Bob's obituary was released), other than the fact that she had divorced Bob at some point prior to 1980, when he married Barb, and was still alive at the time of Bob's death.

=== Carol Chandler ===
'''Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler''' (born 7 July 1969)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle">[[:File:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref> is Chris's half-sister and daughter of the late [[Bob Chandler]] and his first wife Patricia.

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "[[Chris and English#Spelling|Geinus]]" [sic] and "wiz".<ref>[[Chandler Family Tree]]</ref> She is known to have won the [[1980s#1988|1988]] Mathematics department McShane Prize at the [[University of Virginia]].<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20121116162715/http://artsandsciences.virginia.edu/mathematics/newsevents/awards/index.html Department of Mathematics, University of Virginia] (archive from 16 Nov 2012)</ref> Carol attended [[Providence Middle School]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Later, she was a member of [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]]. She earned a Ph.D. and is or was working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. She and Bob seemed to have a negative or distant relationship, as it was implied in the [[Savannah]] messages that she did not attend his funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref>

=== David Chandler ===
[[Image:Davidchandler.jpg|right|thumb|David Alan Chandler.]]

'''Dr. David Alan Chandler''' (born 28 November 1962)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle" /><ref>[http://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-david-chandler-x6gx6 Dr. David A. Chandler, MD - Mechanicsville, VA - Ophthalmology | Healthgrades.com]</ref> is an ophthalmologist (eye doctor/surgeon) in [[Richmond]], Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of [[Bob Chandler]] and Bob's ex wife Patricia, and older half-brother to Chris. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s obituary told us that his wife's name is Kimberly.<ref name="BobObit" />

David went to high school in [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]],<ref name="richmondeye.com">[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp D. Alan Chandler on Richmond Eye Associates site] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)</ref> studied medicine at [[Wikipedia:Virginia Commonwealth University|Virginia Commonwealth University]], and trained at [[Wikipedia:Washington Hospital Center|Washington Hospital Center]].<ref>[http://www.wellness.com/dir/2474208/ophthalmologist/va/glen-allen/david-chandler-richmond-eye-associates-md]</ref> He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party,<ref>[http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/david-chandler.asp?cycle=08]</ref> showing that, at least, he agreed with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.<ref name="richmondeye.com"/>

Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January [[2004]] and learned then that David had a daughter by the name of [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]], making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather. [[Chris and Reality|Chris also falsely claimed it made Barb a grandmother]].

[[CWC's Diary|Diary]] entry:
{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

One weekend Chris and Bob traveled to David's house visit his family. The family was not at home, so Chris and Bob left gifts with the next door neighbors to give to them; an angel for Savannah from Bob and squinkles with a display from Chris<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler2.jpg]]</ref>.

Unlike Carol, David attended Bob's funeral. At the funeral Chris presented him with further gifts to give to Savannah.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler.png]]</ref>

=== Uncle Wayne ===

A copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Chris's DVD]] that was sent to a troll included a list of people whom Chris wanted to present in the DVD, but could not do so due to not having a picture of them. One of those people was an uncle from Bob's side called Wayne.<ref>[[:File:Chrispaper2.jpg|Chrispaper2.jpg]]</ref> Virtually nothing is known about him.

=== Unnamed relatives at Oklahoma ===

During the course of two prank calls Bob mentioned that he has a cousin as well several [[Cherokee]] relatives at Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref> Virtually nothing else is known about them.

==Weston family==(what do you mean theres none?!)
=== Jonathan Carey ===
[[File:JohnKerry.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's cousin?]]

Jonathan Carey<ref>http://www.woodfuneralservice.com/obituary.aspx?MemberId=55269&MName=Corrina%20Weston%20Carey%20Inge</ref> is a distant relative of Chris (the son of Barbara's sister's brother-in-law), who was married on the last weekend of June, [[2009]]. He lives in Red Oak, [[Virginia]]. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did not murder [[BILLY MAYS|Billy Mays]]{{cite}}.

June 2009 Wedding Photos:
<gallery>
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 2.jpg
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 3.png
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 4.jpg
File:ECP 00077.jpg|And an unwanted gift, too!
</gallery>

===Uncle Raymond ===
Uncle Raymond is Chris's uncle, and presumably Jonathan's father. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the brother of [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]], making Jonathan her nephew.

===Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom===
[[File:0039-AuntHerriet.jpg|thumb|left|This is pretty much all we've got.]]
[[File:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|thumb|right|Save for this.]]
'''Harriet Ashby''' (née '''Weston''') is Barbara's sister. She was born on 9 Jan 1947, and was married to Thomas Eugene Ashby on 29 May 1964 in Charlotte County, VA. Thomas was born on 28 Oct 1942.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d150.html#P150</ref>

Harriet seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE and HONEST [[United States of America|American]] patriot. Tom, according to Chris, is a retired fire inspector, and offered Barb advice after her [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]].

As Chris told [[Catherine]] during her real-life meeting with him, Harriet and Tom still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but do not allow her over to their home. They have not even told Barb what their address is. Barb possibly went after Tom very aggressively when she was young.

{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

== External links ==
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp Dr. Chandler's profile] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)

==See also==
*[[Aunt Corrina]]
*[[Cole Smithey]]
*[[Savannah Chandler]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Family Members]]

Sarah Nicole Hammer

2015-05-18T00:21:42Z

Beanmachine91:

[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris & Sarah shortly after her wedding<ref>According to Chris's comments on the [[CWCipedia]], this picture was taken shortly after Sarah's wedding.[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Christian_in_his_Own_Words#C.W.C._Growing_Up_Gallery]</ref>]]

{{quote|Sarah is Christian's Life-Long Best Friend. She is a spunky gal, and she is very pretty. One may say that she is the spitting image of Britney Spears.|[[:Image:298-ACSarahBck.jpg|Animal Crossing card]] describing Sarah Hammer; who looks nothing like [[Britney Spears]]}}

'''Sarah Nicole Hammer''' (born 13 October [[1982]]<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 1</ref>) was the [[Wikipedia:Girl next door|girl next door]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> for [[Chris]] from age 2 until around age 10, when he moved away, whom he apparently considered his closest friend. Chris met Sarah again when he entered [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] when he came back to the county after finishing [[Manchester High School]]. Although by [[2005]] Chris had come to regard Sarah as his best and closest friend however, Chris seems to suggest that he hasn't had much contact with her as compared to his childhood.

As far as can be told, Chris has had no contact with Sarah since he came into [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|the spotlight]], and unlike [[Megan Schroeder]] there aren't any [[Mimms|trolls]] who know her IRL capable of updating us on her status. There's no evidence to suggest that Sarah has even seen the comics, or has any opinion on them.

==Sarah Hammer in real life==
[[Image:SarahHammerPortrait.jpg|thumb|right|Anything in real life, Chris ruins it by drawing it.]]
===Childhood===
{{quote|She brought me a lot out of my [[autism|autistic]] social shell for the time back then.|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992|Wikipedia autobiography]]}}

Chris continues to cherish many important memories with Sarah, such as riding swing sets, playing hide and seek, and rollerskating.

It is not entirely known if Sarah actually cared about Chris. In [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], Chris recounts a story in which Sarah told Chris that Casper the friendly ghost was hiding under the house. Chris, being as [[Autism|childish]] as he's always known to be, fell for it and went to search for him. When Chris entered the crawlspace, Sarah locked him in and left. Eventually, Sarah's father had to come and get him out.

Sarah also tried to convince Chris to put a honeysuckle in his mouth. Specifically the tip, which is sometimes alleged to be poisonous. Chris almost fell for this one, but his parents caught him and warned him of its "dangers". And you know what they say: a girl that tries to kill you isn't really your friend.

Sarah and Chris were the same age and attended the same elementary school, but Chris moved to [[Richmond]] to attend middle school<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 7.</ref> and would not see Sarah again until after he returned to Ruckersville on June [[2000]].<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref> In [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]], made on 4 June 1998, Chris named one of the characters after Sarah, suggesting that he was still thinking about her at the time.

Chris has suggested that he did not originally view Sarah as a potential [[sweetheart]]; this decision apparently came later, most likely due to autism and a sheltered upbringing.

===She got hot===
Between [[2000]] and [[2003]] Sarah grew up and shed her old image, and became so attractive to Chris that he later called her "a spittin' image of [[Britney Spears]]."<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 9</ref> The fact that he thinks she looks like Britney Spears is probably just because she has boobs and long blonde hair. She actually looks nothing like Britney Spears and has a completely different face shape, but Chris is notorious for his [[Blanca Weiss|poor facial recognition skills]]. This is the man who had to stare at himself in a mirror for hours to remember what ''he'' actually looked like after all.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24</ref>

===With Wes Iseli===
By Chris's admission, he hadn't had much contact with Sarah after he moved to Richmond, although at some point he apparently concluded that they were destined to be lovers. Unfortunately for him, at a certain point Sarah started dating local magician/heart-throb [[Wes Iseli]], eventually moving in with him at some point prior to July [[2000]].<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]. page 12.</ref> Learning about this development was clearly traumatic for Chris. On one occasion Chris saw Sarah sitting in Wes's lap, which made Chris visibly jealous; this incident was important enough (to Chris, anyway) to document in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]]. A similar freak out occurred when Chris saw Megan sitting on the lap of one of her male friends around the time he was discovered by [[4chan|/v/]], and he still gets insanely jealous whenever he sees a girl sitting on the lap of any other man, likely because it reminds him of the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Chris is scared of some fanart]]</ref>

Chris regards losing Sarah to Wes as one of the two reasons he launched his [[Love Quest]]. Although this event technically changed nothing—Chris had never had a girlfriend and still did not—it spurred him to action, giving him a reason to actively seek out and obtain a [[Boyfriend-free girl]].

The lyrics of Christian's song "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]" seem to be addressing Sarah, with Chris conceding the impossibility of romantic love and seeking greater fulfillment in a [[friend zone|closer platonic friendship]]. His comparison of "your boyfriend" (presumably Wes) to [[Black Sonichu]] recast himself and the couple into the hero-lover-rival ''troika'' that he developed for [[Sonichu]], and then further refined by featuring Wes as [[Wes-Li Sonichu|an evil hedgehog]] in his own right. Thankfully, Wes's career proved resilient enough to survive the trauma.

To this day, there exist no records of what Sarah's reaction to any of this insanity was, not even in Chris's recounting of the events.

===With William Spicer===
At some point Chris learned that Sarah broke up with Wes and then subsequently met another man, [[William Spicer]], whom she eventually married and now has a child with. The ups and downs of how Chris took this news are captured in how the fictional Chris reacted in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] after Sarah tells him, and in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] when Chris made a comic adaptation of her wedding. Chris knew so little about Spicer, probably having never met him, that in the comic he decided to depict the groom as a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] character so that he wouldn't have to draw the actual person. If the comic is anything to go by, Chris did not attend the wedding in real life, but quietly accepted Sarah's decision anyway. William Spicer was spared the fate of being made into a one dimensional Sonichu villain like his predecessor was however, though not because Wes had done wrong while William had not, but rather because Wes was unlucky enough to have dated Sarah while Chris was interested in her, while by the time William was marrying her, Chris had already moved on to [[Megan]].

===Epilogue===

In a chat from 16 [[April 2009]], Chris mentioned that the last time he had seen Sarah was shortly after her wedding. He had heard little of her afterwards except for a few updates from her father and [[Joshua Martinez]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> On 18 [[April 2010]] Chris again stated that he had lost touch with Sarah after her marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Nicole Hammer (Spicer)]]</ref> On 14 [[March 2010]], shortly after the CWCki instituted [[CWCki:The Wallflower|The Wallflower policy]], Chris wrote a blog post asking that the CWCki will erase from its pages all the references to various people he cares about, Sarah among them.<ref>[[CWC Blog#14 March 2010]]</ref>

==Sarah in the comic==
Christian first hints at Sarah's involvement in the Sonichu comics in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']], where he alludes to three mysterious electric hedgehogs: [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and Saramah Rosechu. This is the closest Chris can come to a slow-building long-term mystery, so of course he [[comeuppance|blew his wad]] right away, revealing the identities of at least two of these characters a few pages later in the [[Classic Sonichu Strips]].

===Sarah Hammer/Nicole Rammer===
[[Image:Sarah hammer reimagined.png|thumb|left|Artist's impression of Sarah Hammer and the Lightning Bracelets.]]

After Chris activated the anchuent powers foretold by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Sarah had a vision of the ancient queen of the [[Cherokian Clan]], who explained her role in the prophecy and gave her the Lightning Bracelets. Using the bracelets Sarah could transform into Saramah Rosechu, whose role in the prophecy would be to maintain the balance between Chris-Chan and Wes-Li.

When Sarah discovered these two hedgehogs, they were already locked in battle. Although at first she didn't know who Chris-Chan and Wes-Li were, Saramah quickly learned that the hedgehogs were also her old friend Christian and her recent boyfriend [[Wes Iseli]]. Forced to choose between these two men, Saramah [[Chris and his Ego|remembered who was writing the comic]], so she impaled Wes-Li against a tree and broke up with him, citing his cruelty toward Christian. Saramah actually spent more time dressing down Wes than she did battling [[Count Graduon]], the evil she and the others were prognosticated to defeat.

With Wes quickly departing, Chris and Sarah returned to their human forms and caught up on old times. Chris believed he now had an easy path to becoming Sarah's [[sweetheart]], but unfortunately for him she was already interested in another man, [[William Spicer]].

Though Sarah technically did not appear again until [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']], she did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']]. The one which she appeared in was reprinted in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] and established as having taken place a few weeks before the events of Sub-Episode 7.

Later, in ''Sonichu #5'', Chris would invisibly attend Sarah's wedding to William Spicer, being on-hand for Wes-Li's attempt to kidnap her. Using his Chris-Chan Sonichu powers and [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards, Chris rescued Sarah, who then rewarded him by tossing him the bouquet and wished him luck in his pursuit of [[Megan]]. In spite of this issue being based around Sarah's wedding and being intended as a sendoff to her character, she did remarkably little in this story, just [[Women's rights|filling the role of the kidnapped princess]].

Sarah was not seen in the comic for a long time afterwards, but she did appear again in [[Sonichu Special 2]], also known as the Wedding Comic. In this comic, she attends Chris's ill fated marriage to [[Ivy]], dressing [[Tomgirl|in drag]] and acting as the best man, since Chris doesn't actually have any friends other than her who could fill that role other than [[Sonichu|fictional characters]] or possibly [[Bob Chandler|his father]]. One can't shake the feeling that he'd probably ask Sarah to do this in a real life wedding too.

Thanks to the efforts of [[Nintendo]] lawyer [[Jay Z]] during the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Sarah later became one of many characters who had their names [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] in the story, due to being based on real life people. As such, in the [[Sonichu Videobooks]], Sarah Hammer instead became Nicole [[Dildo|Rammer]].

===Saramah Rosechu===
[[Image:076-IlluminatingSarahama.jpg|thumb|Not creepy at all.]]

{{quote|Sarhamah's [sic] origin is unknown but her radiance shines brighter than the sun. When she shoots her arrows, they fly like lightning bolts. She is also known as a peaceful protector. And she is lovely, [[Angelica|angelic]], and simply irresistible.|[[:Image:301-ACSarhamahBck.jpg|Sarhamah Rosechu Animal Crossing card]].}}

Most, if not all of Sarah's appearances in Chris's comics are in the form of Saramah [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], using the powers bestowed upon her by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to transform into a furry. She has no actual personality beyond asserting her deep, abiding friendship with Christian, which again suggests that he knows nothing about this person except what he likes to think she feels about him. Sarah is able to activate this form through use of the Lightning Bracelets, which act as her own equivalent to Chris's [[Sonichu Medallion]] or Wes Iseli's Fireshock Pendant.

Prior to the retcon, Saramah Rosechu was a much more sensible name for Sarah's Sonichu form, even if still slightly weird. Since the change however, new readers of the comic who are not aware of the background of the character are just left baffled by the strange notion that a woman named "Nicole" transforms into a hedgehog and is then named "Sarah" for some reason.

Due to her lack of a large role in the comics, Saramah Rosechu doesn't have many powers compared to the other two chosen ones of the prophecy. While Chris and Wes both use weird [[Pokémon]] related attacks or [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards to fight, aside from the retarded Team Blast attack ripped off from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'', Sarah is only ever seen using her bow and arrow to fight with. Both the bow and arrow are lightning bolt shaped. They may or may not be literally made of electricity. [[Chris and art|It's hard to tell with Chris's art.]]

===Queen of the Cherokian Clan===
[[Image:Queen_of_the_Cherokian_Clan.PNG|thumb|left|100px|The only picture of her to this date.]]

Wife of the [[ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], and the [[Cherokian Clan]]'s queen.

Little is established about the queen except that she was the object of a rivalry between her husband and his [[Wasabi Rival]]. She would be reincarnated as [[Sarah Hammer]], about whom we know little except that she was the object of a "rivalry" between [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Wes Iseli]]. This is a good example of how Chris's female characters exist only to motivate his male ones and/or be fap material. The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] caused Sarah to learn of her past life and thereby gain the powers of [[Saramah Rosechu]], which she was tutored in using by a vision of the Queen.

The queen hasn't shown up since that single appearance, and considering that Sarah/Saramah has been absent from the comic since getting married in ''Sonichu #5'' save for her brief cameo at Chris's wedding,<ref>[[Wedding Comic]], [[:Image:SchuComicSP2P6.jpg|p. 6]]</ref> it's highly unlikely she'll ever show up again.

Oddly enough, of the three ancestors, she is the only one who actually looks something like a Native American; although she's still blonde and blue-eyed, she's wearing a dress that could be made of deerskin, which is the stereotypical way of dressing Native ladies in works of fiction. At least Chris got that part right.

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:053-SongsBetweenFriendsCD.jpg|A CD for Sarah
Image:297-ACSarah.jpg|"Sarah Hammer" [[Animal Crossing]] Card.
Image:298-ACSarahBck.jpg|Sarah Hammer card back.
Image:300-ACSarhamah.jpg|"Saramah" Animal Crossing Card.
Image:301-ACSarhamahBck.jpg|Saramah card back.
Image:299-SarahHammer.jpg|Picture of human Sarah.
Image:303-Sarhamah.jpg|Picture of furfag Sarah.
Image:302-YuSahramah.jpg|Saramah Rosechu ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.
Image:304-LightningBracelets.jpg|Lightning Bracelets ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu #2'']]
*[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']]
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
*[[Wes Iseli]]
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[Anchuent Prophecy]]
*[[Megan Schroeder]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{People}}
{{Sonichu}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hammer, Sarah Nicole}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church

2015-05-17T03:05:44Z

Beanmachine91:

{{quote|"Wesley Mem"* is a church for all of [[Autism|God’s children]], regardless of [[Attraction Sign|age]], [[Niggos|race]], [[Silvana|gender]], [[Monthly tugboat|socio-economic situation]], or [[Homos|sexual orientation]].|WMUMC's slogan}}

[[Image:WesleyChurchPhoto.jpg|thumb|right|Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church, Charlottesville.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] started attending the '''[[Wikipedia:John Wesley|Wesley]] Memorial [[Wikipedia:United Methodist Church|United Methodist Church]]''', [[Charlottesville]] in [[March 2008]] after getting kicked out of his old church, the [[Grace Baptist Church]]. He was baptised at WMUMC on Mother's Day of 2008.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Regina tries to make sense of all that]]</ref>

WFMC is closely associated with the [[University of Virginia]]. Ironically, given his intense homophobia, Chris attends a [[homos|homo]]-accepting church because it is the only one that won't kick him out. Having been besieged with [[nudes]] of Chris, they now have this disclaimer on their homepage: "We are not responsible for any content or links that may appear on the personal web pages of any member of this congregation."

[[Bob Chandler|Bob]] attended with Chris, with [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] usually staying home.<ref>[[Church audio#00:06:27 - A Wild Chris-Chan Appears]]</ref>

== People ==

[[Image:Wesley Church.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Wesley Foundation Methodist Church's logo.]]

* Reverend Ed Winkler, current pastor
* Reverend Elizabeth Foss, former pastor
* Marty Peterman, who told Chris to not send anything over the internet he wouldn't want his grandmother to see<ref name="sept08">[[Chris emails 2008#September]]</ref>
* Reverend [[Rocky Shoemaker]], pastoral counselor; Elizabeth introduced Rocky to Chris in [[September 2008]] because she knows Chris doesn't listen to [[JERKS|men]]<ref name="sept08" />

Since Elizabeth and Rocky are authority figures Chris respects, he lists them as references on his [[resume]] and continually seeks help from them against trolls.<ref>[[Chris emails 2008#September]], [[Jackie E-mails 5#Chris's brilliant ideas]], [[Jackie E-mails 7]] (August 4), [[Jackie E-mails 8]], [[Jackie E-mails 22]] (November 16)</ref>

== Events ==

On 15 [[March 2009]], [[Robert Simmons V]] [[Church audio|visited]] this church and talked to Chris and Bob.

On 9 [[August 2010]], Chris told [[Jackie]] that "[Bob] is not currently in alliance with Elizabeth [WMUMC's pastor at the time] and [[Rocky]] over some emotional differences from his point of view".<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 8]]</ref> Chris's odd choice of words make it hard to understand what exactly did he mean, but it would appear as if Bob has had some sort of spat with Rocky and Elizabeth.

On [[July 2011]] Ed Winkler became a pastor at the church.<ref>[http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ed-winkler/1a/16a/360 Ed Winkler's profile] at LinkedIn</ref> He would later on ban Chris from the church for an entire month, and would also forbid Chris from speaking there. Winkler's treatment of Chris was one of the factors that led the latter to withdraw from the church for an unknown period of time.<ref>[[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]</ref>

On 12 [[September 2011]], [[Bob]]'s funeral took place at the church.

On 22 [[April 2012]], Chris visited the church and wrote about it on Twitter the next day. According to his report, he was generally ignored by his fellow parishioners and was not feeling loved by them. He likewise complained about Ed Winkler. Chris also wrote that "I knew I was gone for too long, but my internal clock kept me awake at night... and prohibited me from being a day person."<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#April 23]]</ref> This suggests that prior to this visit Chris was absent from the church for a considerable period of time due to his irregular [[Biological clock|sleep schedule]].

On 10 [[June 2012]], Chris ran a [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]] for a cancer charity.

On 3 [[January 2014]], Chris gave the church a glowing yet passive-aggressive review on [[Facebook]]. Perhaps coincidentally (and perhaps [[Obesity|not]]), 3 January was the date of a pizza-making party for middle and high-school students.

{{-}}

=== Incidents ===

On 30 March 2013, a [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|note]] had made its way to the [[CWCki Forums]] shedding light on Chris' current status within Wesley Methodist:

{{quotebox|**Please Print (in multiples) and Share This Message with EVERYBODY at Church**

I, Christian Weston Chandler, will not be attending church for a long time.

I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced. I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life. My life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness, loneliness and great stress. Only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me, and I have very little to share in common with any of them. Nobody even close to my age, or even in their twenties, gives me much to do, or include me in their conversations.

Aside from that, I am hated by a number of people for [[Homos|reasons]] [[Niggos|beyond]] [[Death threats|my]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|full]] [[Vivian_Gee#Extortion_by_Chris|understanding]], because I always tried to be a good and nice person for a long time. And in public, I am constantly overlooked, ignored or ostracized by Everybody. Even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention. I continue to be paranoid of most everyone, because of them likely being among the Internet Trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me. I am still long desperate for a woman to be my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart]]. I am tired of being single, dang it. I continue to serve my [[Barb|family]] the best I can, and I continue to feel sad, depressed and lonely. My heart feels numb, and I am forced to keep a great emotional distance from Everybody outside my house and home. I am an [[Autism|autistic]] mental and emotional mess, and there is very little I can do to help myself, beyond my knowledge. And [[God]] sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx.

And, so, the church is not helping me much in my life, mentally, or emotionally, at all. So I will not be coming back for a long time.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

In a last-ditch effort to blame anything but himself for his woes, Chris has now resorted to slamming [[GodJesus]] Himself for playing [[Kick the Autistic]]. The letter also reveals that Chris has earned himself a [[List of places that have banned Chris|temporary ban]] from the church, probably because the minister has tired of hearing Chris ramble about [[Trolls|da trolls]] during the homily. In a rare moment of insight, Chris also notes that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] has been ineffective as a counselor.

It should also be noted that Chris had asked Rocky to distribute copies of this exact letter to the congregation, effectively demanding she distribute not only "proof" of her own counseling inadequacy but also a letter insulting God to an entire Methodist congregation.

== In the comics ==

The ''Sonichu'' comics feature a church called Samuel Memorial United Christian Church, located outside of [[CWCville]].<ref name="ang cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu Angelica Rosechu]</ref> The name of the fictional Church is most likely based on the name of Chris's real church. Samuel Memorial is perhaps best known as the place where [[Angelica]] hatched, grew and lives, and despite its name, appears to be a Catholic church.<ref name="ang cwcipedia" /> It also appears to be her favorite place for [[Mass debating]], and not about theology if that's what you're thinking.<ref>See the fourth drawing in Chris's [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack# Images from the Luv Shack (or: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here)|Rule 34 gallery]].</ref> She was also yiffed there by [[Reginald Sneasel]].<ref>[[Sonichu 9]],[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_32 p. 32]</ref>

After the [[Chaotic Combo]] met each other and [[Sonichu]], Angelica took them all (and Rosechu as well) to Samuel Memorial, where from there on they would attend service every Sunday. Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] would later on marry there.<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref> Church staff includes/have included the Reverend Grace Rosewell and pastor Fritz Richmond.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" /><ref name="ang cwcipedia" />

Interestingly, the church where Chris's imaginary wedding to [[Ivy]] took place is not Samuel Memorial United Christian Church, but CWCville Baptist Church.<ref>[[Wedding Comic]], [[:Image:SchuComicSP2P1.jpg|p. 2]]</ref> This fictional church is likely to be named after Chris's [[Grace Baptist Church|previous IRL church]].

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Rocky Shoemaker]]
*[[List of places that have banned Chris]]

==External links==
*[http://avenue.org/wmumc/ Church website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]

CWCki:Sperging

2015-05-16T15:17:31Z

Beanmachine91: /* Why is this a problem? */

'''Sperging''' is a slang term which describes certain behavior online which is stereotypically associated with people who have [[Asperger syndrome]]. The most common meaning refers to excessive discussion or analysis of what would normally be regarded as a very specific, irrelevant or pointless topic. Sperging is often used as a negative description of these discussions, as well as the actions of the users who contribute to them.

== Examples of sperging ==
=== Scenario 1 ===
* A leaked Chris Chan video has surfaced and a new article for the video is created.
* A user starts a discussion or makes a remark on the video article's talk page which is almost pure speculation.
:*e.g. "So I have a theory about why Chris made this video. It's the summer and it's too hot in Chris's house for him to play his [[PS3]], so he decided to..."
:*e.g. "I noticed that Chris has a grease stain on his shirt. I think this is because his mother stopped washing his clothes to show her disapproval of Chris's new [[Tomgirl]] look."

=== Scenario 2 ===
* New photos of Chris are uploaded, showing him posing with someone at a restaurant or bar.
* A user starts a discussion or makes a remark about minor, irrelevant, and possibly trivial details that have already been explained.
:*e.g. "So who do we think took the photos?"

=== Scenario 3 ===
* A user starts a discussion on an article talk page about new plans or ideas they have about ways to troll Chris.
:*e.g. "I was thinking that maybe someone should try to call Chris purporting to be a private investigator, and they try to get Chris to..."

== Why is this a problem? ==
While there is really nothing wrong with wanting to discuss something online, it's important that such discussions are held in the most relevant and appropriate places. This allows regular discussion of other things to take place without large amounts of seemingly less productive or relevant messages, while also allowing like-minded people to discuss topics relevant to their interests, no matter how specific or seemingly unnecessary to others.

On the CWCki, we have witnessed countless incidents of sperging. This usually takes place in the form of lengthy and/or irrelevant talk page messages. New users are more likely to start up or contribute to discussions which are classed as sperging. Here are some of the problems this causes:
* It makes article talk pages become cluttered with discussion that is not directly related to helping improve the article.
* It makes words, sentences, and paragraphs difficult to read and they don't roll off like they should.
* It makes certain users stand out as perhaps having Asperger syndrome, [[autism]] or some retarded condition.
* It can make those users asking for trolls to fuck with them em.
* It detracts away from the purpose and goal of the CWCki, to document all things about [[Chris]].

As a result, we strongly encourage users to read our guidelines for talk page discussions - such as the [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|Not A Forum]] policy, before they make additions to talk pages on the CWCki. You have been warned!

== Places where sperging is less of an issue ==
While we have a very low tolerance for "sperging" here on the CWCki, there are other places related to Chris where such discussions are either tolerated, permitted or even encouraged. The locations listed below are for guidance only.
* [[Kiwi Farms]] - Highly recommended place to discuss anything about Chris to your heart's content. This board was created in response to the growing demand for a place where people could discuss anything without fear of violating CWCki's strict talk page policies.
* [[Sonichu (IRC)|#sonichu]] - Meet some of the most clued-up people about Chris and put forward any questions you may have. As long as you don't start writing huge essays, you should receive a generally positive response here.
* [[/cwc/|/cow/]] - An image board where some Chris followers can be found. The board can be a little daunting if you are unfamiliar with image boards. Sperging is still discouraged there, but is not explicitly against the rules.

The rules regarding what can and cannot be discussed may change since this article was last updated, so we advise you check the rules for each location first before you go ahead and post whatever is on your mind.

== Places where sperging is an issue ==
* The CWCki - for reasons already explained above.
* [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] - This is a forum with restricted access. One of the main reasons for this is to help reduce "sperg" posts as much as possible.

[[Category:CWCki policy]]

CWCki:Sperging

2015-05-16T15:10:36Z

Beanmachine91: /* Scenario 1 */

'''Sperging''' is a slang term which describes certain behavior online which is stereotypically associated with people who have [[Asperger syndrome]]. The most common meaning refers to excessive discussion or analysis of what would normally be regarded as a very specific, irrelevant or pointless topic. Sperging is often used as a negative description of these discussions, as well as the actions of the users who contribute to them.

== Examples of sperging ==
=== Scenario 1 ===
* A leaked Chris Chan video has surfaced and a new article for the video is created.
* A user starts a discussion or makes a remark on the video article's talk page which is almost pure speculation.
:*e.g. "So I have a theory about why Chris made this video. It's the summer and it's too hot in Chris's house for him to play his [[PS3]], so he decided to..."
:*e.g. "I noticed that Chris has a grease stain on his shirt. I think this is because his mother stopped washing his clothes to show her disapproval of Chris's new [[Tomgirl]] look."

=== Scenario 2 ===
* New photos of Chris are uploaded, showing him posing with someone at a restaurant or bar.
* A user starts a discussion or makes a remark about minor, irrelevant, and possibly trivial details that have already been explained.
:*e.g. "So who do we think took the photos?"

=== Scenario 3 ===
* A user starts a discussion on an article talk page about new plans or ideas they have about ways to troll Chris.
:*e.g. "I was thinking that maybe someone should try to call Chris purporting to be a private investigator, and they try to get Chris to..."

== Why is this a problem? ==
While there is really nothing wrong with wanting to discuss something online, it's important that such discussions are held in the most relevant and appropriate places. This allows regular discussion of other things to take place without large amounts of seemingly less productive or relevant messages, while also allowing like-minded people to discuss topics relevant to their interests, no matter how specific or seemingly unnecessary to others.

On the CWCki, we have witnessed countless incidents of sperging. This usually takes place in the form of lengthy and/or irrelevant talk page messages. New users are more likely to start up or contribute to discussions which are classed as sperging. Here are some of the problems this causes:
* It makes article talk pages become cluttered with discussion that is not directly related to helping improve the article.
* It makes words, sentences, and paragraphs difficult to read and they don't roll off like they should.
* It makes certain users stand out as perhaps having Asperger syndrome, [[autism]] or a related condition.
* It can make those users vulnerable targets for trolls.
* It detracts away from the purpose and goal of the CWCki, to document all things about [[Chris]].

As a result, we strongly encourage users to read our guidelines for talk page discussions - such as the [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|Not A Forum]] policy, before they make additions to talk pages on the CWCki. You have been warned!

== Places where sperging is less of an issue ==
While we have a very low tolerance for "sperging" here on the CWCki, there are other places related to Chris where such discussions are either tolerated, permitted or even encouraged. The locations listed below are for guidance only.
* [[Kiwi Farms]] - Highly recommended place to discuss anything about Chris to your heart's content. This board was created in response to the growing demand for a place where people could discuss anything without fear of violating CWCki's strict talk page policies.
* [[Sonichu (IRC)|#sonichu]] - Meet some of the most clued-up people about Chris and put forward any questions you may have. As long as you don't start writing huge essays, you should receive a generally positive response here.
* [[/cwc/|/cow/]] - An image board where some Chris followers can be found. The board can be a little daunting if you are unfamiliar with image boards. Sperging is still discouraged there, but is not explicitly against the rules.

The rules regarding what can and cannot be discussed may change since this article was last updated, so we advise you check the rules for each location first before you go ahead and post whatever is on your mind.

== Places where sperging is an issue ==
* The CWCki - for reasons already explained above.
* [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] - This is a forum with restricted access. One of the main reasons for this is to help reduce "sperg" posts as much as possible.

[[Category:CWCki policy]]

Wes Iseli

2015-05-12T03:53:37Z

Beanmachine91:

{{quote|Wes is a magician and regretfully, [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah's]] boyfriend. Because of this, Christian is very jealous and dislikes him much.|[[:Image:291-ACWesBck.jpg|Wes Iseli ''Animal Crossing'' card]]}}

[[Image:WesIseli2.jpg|thumb|Wes Iseli: party magician, charity worker, married man, and evil hedgehog.]]

'''Wes Iseli''' (pronounced [wɛs ˈaɪzli])<ref>[[Mumble 4]], around 22 minutes in</ref> (born 10 November 1977) [[Emily|briefly dated]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]], Chris's long-time [[gal pal|gal-pal]]. Wes is a magician in real life (available for birthdays, weddings, funerals and bar mitzvahs) and is currently married to another woman.

Although [[trolls]] have been trying to contact Wes ever since they found his various online accounts, he hasn't offered any official statements on [[Chris]] or his involvement in [[Sonichu (comic)|the Sonichu comics]]. Apparently, he doesn't feel the need to talk shit about some guy he barely knew just because he was jealous of Wes's relationship with an ex-girlfriend of his (obviously).

== In real life ==
Wes Iseli was known to have dated Sarah Hammer at some point during Chris's [[Manchester High School|High School]] years. Chris claims to have originally been provoked into his [[Love Quest]] after becoming [[Chris and anger|enraged]] at seeing Sarah sitting on Wes's lap. Much like with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], this lead to a one sided blood feud with him, and he began to see Wes as a romantic rival and an enemy, even though Sarah saw Chris as nothing more than a friend and Wes himself probably barely even knew Chris as anything other than "that autistic kid Sarah hangs out with".

The trio of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and [[Black Sonichu]] in Chris's early ideas before the comic started, existed to represent the "hero, lover and rival" triangle that Chris believed himself, Sarah and Wes to fulfill as well, with Chris [[Ego|obviously]] cast as the hero, and Wes as the villain. This is evident in the [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] story, in which he represented himself and Sarah as Sonichu and Rosechu, and when Wes was brought up in passing, Chris included a drawing of Blake holding a magic wand and magician's hat, complete with helpful annotation pointing out that he was evil. Chris would later come up with unique Sonichu forms for himself, Wes and Sarah instead of using Sonichu, Rosechu and Blake as stand-ins, and these new Sonichu forms would go on to be featured in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

Chris also included avatars of Wes in his homemade ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, for both his human form and his Sonichu form in each, (though in the ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards the human Wes Iseli was just named as "A [[Jerk]]").

== In the comic ==
[[File:Wls.PNG|thumb|Wes-Li is pissed.]]

As the author of the comic, when Chris first made [[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]] he was given the unique opportunity to [[Chris and reality|revise his personal history with Wes]] at his leisure. Comic Wes differs from his real life counterpart in that whilst the real Wes Iseli broke up with Sarah, moved on, married another woman, probably forgot Chris ever existed and is now [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcybvGOvmrY running a charity which helps fight Parkinson's Disease], Comic Wes appears to have [[Chris and his Ego|held a grudge against Chris]] ever since he first met him while he was dating Sarah, in spite of Chris having nothing he wanted and Wes having no reason to care about Chris. Dialogue also indicates that he was still dating Sarah by the time the trio first gained their powers, as Sarah "breaks up" with him halfway through Episode 8.

=== Wesley Iseli/Walter Grisby ===
Wes Iseli (later [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] as "'''Walter Grisby'''") was one of the chosen three of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], alongside [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. Wes learned that he was the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], and upon gaining his powers his own ancestor implored him to take vengeance upon the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who was now Chris. Wes, knowing of Chris's jealousy towards him, accepts.

He later finds both Chris and [[Sonichu]] out on the "rough terrain" just outside [[CWCville]], and the two fight, not only over their current feud, but also over the Cherokee/Wasabi war in the ancient past, over the [[Cherokian Crown]]. Wes grabs the crown out of thin air during the fight (implying he stole it from Chris, which was [[Chris and Writing|never depicted]] and eventually the fight ends when Sarah appears and pins Wes against a tree with a lightning arrow, just as he was about to defeat Chris. Sarah breaks up with him, he whines a bit, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris tells him to suck it up and move on]], and he then unites with Chris and Sarah to defeat the [[Wikipedia:Golem|golem]] summoned by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]].

[[Image:Sonichu05-P12.jpg|thumb|Wes-Li Sonichu apparently [[Chris and art|grows to about 20 feet tall]], does an [[Wikipedia:Edward G. Robinson|Edward G. Robinson]] impression, and kidnaps [[Sarah Hammer]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]]]

In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] he appeared again to use his magical powers to kidnap Sarah at her wedding to [[William Spicer]]. Despite ostensibly not wanting to be kidnapped, Sarah neglects to employ any of her Anchuent powers, and thus Chris must take him down. This being the early days of the [[Megan]] Saga, Chris drew heavily from anime themes in this issue, so Chris and Wes did battle via [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|children's card games]] rather than an actual fight. Chris loses (again), proving for a second time that Wes was a superior fighter to him, but he and Sarah are saved by [[Sailor Megtune]] and [[Megagi La Skunk]], and the wedding continues without issue.

Iseli was briefly seen in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], attending the conference of villains following Christian's disappearance into the [[Time Void]]. Given that the conference was run by Mary and Count Graduon, the evil that Wes was destined to defeat alongside Chris and Sarah, the prophecy seems to have gone horribly wrong. Chris, naturally, does not address this.

Wes was last seen in the comic in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], appearing on a grand total of two pages. First early in the issue, where he was seen scouting around the city in preparation for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] attack, assisted by [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] and [[Silvana]], and later on again, when he calls Mary and tells her that a magic dome was protecting the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] from attack, and that they needed Mary to come down there personally to get through. He is never seen fighting in this issue, and it is to date his final appearance.

Still to this day, Wes's final fate remains unknown. Whether he was counted among the brainwashing victims freed by Chris or not has never been stated, and depending on whether or not Wes was acting of his own free will in helping Mary and the PVCC, he may or may not be the last surviving villain other than [[Clawdorf]] and [[Metal Sonichu]] after the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] purge.

===Wes-Li Sonichu===
[[Image:FlameSnipers.jpg|thumb|Wes-li's Flame Sniper (left) compared to Sailor Mars' Flame Sniper (right).]]

Wes-Li Sonichu (pronounced [wɛzlaɪ], "Wez-lie", according to Chris's [[videobooks]], and as "Wesley" according to the [[Audiobooks]]) is the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] form of Wes Iseli when he is transformed by the Fireshock Pendant empowered by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Although the prophecy foretold that Wes-Li, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan]], and [[Saramah Rosechu|Saramah]] would work together to defeat [[Count Graduon]], Wes's spitefulness toward Chris and his bitterness at having been rejected by [[Sarah Hammer]] would lead him to use his powers for evil.

Prior to the retcon, Wes-Li was a passable pun. With the name change, it makes absolutely no sense that a person named "Walter Grisby" would have an alter ego that does not resemble his name in any way - unless one knows the background of this character.

As he is not featured much, Wes-Li Sonichu is not seen to possess anything like the absurdly vast array of powers that Chris-Chan Sonichu does. He is however, seen using the Pokémon moves Fire Blast, Flamethrower, Mega Kick and Sky Uppercut, as well as a move known as the Flame Sniper, in which he uses a bow and arrow made of fire to shoot at a target. The name and attack itself are another rip-off from [[Sailor Moon]]. With help from Chris-Chan and Saramah, Wes-Li can also use the "Team Blast: Blue Fireball Attack", but being the stupid Deus Ex Machina finishing move it is, the attack is used only once to destroy Graduon's golem and is never used again. It is also ripped off from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]''.

=== Wasabi Rival ===
[[File:Wasabi rival.jpg|100px|thumb|left|The Wasabi Rival or the Pope? YOU DECIDE!]]

The Wasabi Rival was the ancient alter ego of Wes Iseli in the ''Sonichu'' comics. According to ''[[Sonichu 2]]'', the [[Wasabi Clan]] were contemporaries of the Ancient Cherokee. One of the Wasabi, presumably a leader figure of some sort, somehow determined that stealing the [[Cherokian Crown]] from his [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|rival]] would allow him and his tribe to rule the world. This led to a bitter rivalry between the ambitious Wasabi man and the Cherokian Leader. Despite their differences, the Cherokian Leader and his Wasabi Rival were eventually able to forge a temporary alliance against the greater menace of [[Count Graduon]]. Together, the Wasabi and Cherokee defeated Graduon, imprisoning him within a magic scepter for centuries.

Years later, when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was at last fulfilled, the Wasabi Rival appeared in a vision to his reincarnation, Wes Iseli, in order to instruct him in use of the Fireshock Pendant. Exactly how and why the Wasabi Rival is able to communicate with Wes like this is not explained. He teaches Wes how to use all his powers and sends him off to his first battle.

Notably, even though the entire reason Wes had the powers at all was because Count Graduon had come back and needed to be stopped again, something the Wasabi Rival should have known was the priority at that moment, he still told Wes to go after Chris and steal the [[Cherokian Crown]] anyway. Either that crown is ''really, really important'', or the Wasabi Rival just enjoys being a douche from beyond the grave.
{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:290-ACWes.jpg|Human Wes. Note that everything is on fire behind him.
Image:291-ACWesBck.jpg|Page quote is from this card.
File:Wes.PNG|Another drawing of Wes that, of course, [[Chris and art|doesn't look anything like the first one]]. Note the Fireshock Pendant and rabbit in a hat.
Image:295-WesLi.jpg|Flame on, bitch!
Image:140-AJerk.jpg|Chris, ripping himself off.
Image:296-FireshockPendant.jpg|Fireshock Pendant
Image:294-YuWesLi.jpg|It's just not as impressive without the flame background.
Image:292-ACWesLi.jpg|And even less so with the ''Animal Crossing'' logo.
File:127-LevelBattle.jpg|[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] takes on a villain.
Image:293-ACWesLiBck.jpg|Notice how the human Wes has no star sign but Wes-Li does?
File:Wes_li_xbox.jpg|Wes Li plays [[HEXbox]], further cementing his villainous status.
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://partymagic.50megs.com/ Old magic site]
* [http://wesiseli.com/ New magic site]
* [http://www.youtube.com/wesleyiseli YouTube account]
* [http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1205570207 Facebook]

{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Iseli, Wes}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Wes Iseli

2015-05-12T03:52:37Z

Beanmachine91: wrong/unnecessary piping

{{quote|Wes is a magician and regretfully, [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah's]] boyfriend. Because of this, Christian is very jealous and dislikes him much.|[[:Image:291-ACWesBck.jpg|Wes Iseli ''Animal Crossing'' card]]}}

[[Image:WesIseli2.jpg|thumb|Wes Iseli: party magician, charity worker, married man, and evil hedgehog.]]

'''Wes Iseli''' (pronounced [wɛs ˈaɪzli])<ref>[[Mumble 4]], around 22 minutes in</ref> (born 10 November 1977) [[Emily|briefly dated]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]], Chris's long-time [[gal pal|gal-pal]]. Wes is a magician in real life (available for birthdays, weddings, funerals and bar mitzvahs) and is currently married to another woman.

Although [[trolls]] have been trying to contact Wes ever since they found his various online accounts, he hasn't offered any official statements on [[Chris]] or his involvement in [[Sonichu (comic)|the comics]]. Apparently, he doesn't feel the need to talk shit about some guy he barely knew just because he was jealous of Wes's relationship with an ex-girlfriend of his.

== In real life ==
Wes Iseli was known to have dated Sarah Hammer at some point during Chris's [[Manchester High School|High School]] years. Chris claims to have originally been provoked into his [[Love Quest]] after becoming [[Chris and anger|enraged]] at seeing Sarah sitting on Wes's lap. Much like with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], this lead to a one sided blood feud with him, and he began to see Wes as a romantic rival and an enemy, even though Sarah saw Chris as nothing more than a friend and Wes himself probably barely even knew Chris as anything other than "that autistic kid Sarah hangs out with".

The trio of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and [[Black Sonichu]] in Chris's early ideas before the comic started, existed to represent the "hero, lover and rival" triangle that Chris believed himself, Sarah and Wes to fulfill as well, with Chris [[Ego|obviously]] cast as the hero, and Wes as the villain. This is evident in the [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] story, in which he represented himself and Sarah as Sonichu and Rosechu, and when Wes was brought up in passing, Chris included a drawing of Blake holding a magic wand and magician's hat, complete with helpful annotation pointing out that he was evil. Chris would later come up with unique Sonichu forms for himself, Wes and Sarah instead of using Sonichu, Rosechu and Blake as stand-ins, and these new Sonichu forms would go on to be featured in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

Chris also included avatars of Wes in his homemade ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, for both his human form and his Sonichu form in each, (though in the ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards the human Wes Iseli was just named as "A [[Jerk]]").

== In the comic ==
[[File:Wls.PNG|thumb|Wes-Li is pissed.]]

As the author of the comic, when Chris first made [[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]] he was given the unique opportunity to [[Chris and reality|revise his personal history with Wes]] at his leisure. Comic Wes differs from his real life counterpart in that whilst the real Wes Iseli broke up with Sarah, moved on, married another woman, probably forgot Chris ever existed and is now [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcybvGOvmrY running a charity which helps fight Parkinson's Disease], Comic Wes appears to have [[Chris and his Ego|held a grudge against Chris]] ever since he first met him while he was dating Sarah, in spite of Chris having nothing he wanted and Wes having no reason to care about Chris. Dialogue also indicates that he was still dating Sarah by the time the trio first gained their powers, as Sarah "breaks up" with him halfway through Episode 8.

=== Wesley Iseli/Walter Grisby ===
Wes Iseli (later [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] as "'''Walter Grisby'''") was one of the chosen three of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], alongside [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. Wes learned that he was the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], and upon gaining his powers his own ancestor implored him to take vengeance upon the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who was now Chris. Wes, knowing of Chris's jealousy towards him, accepts.

He later finds both Chris and [[Sonichu]] out on the "rough terrain" just outside [[CWCville]], and the two fight, not only over their current feud, but also over the Cherokee/Wasabi war in the ancient past, over the [[Cherokian Crown]]. Wes grabs the crown out of thin air during the fight (implying he stole it from Chris, which was [[Chris and Writing|never depicted]] and eventually the fight ends when Sarah appears and pins Wes against a tree with a lightning arrow, just as he was about to defeat Chris. Sarah breaks up with him, he whines a bit, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris tells him to suck it up and move on]], and he then unites with Chris and Sarah to defeat the [[Wikipedia:Golem|golem]] summoned by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]].

[[Image:Sonichu05-P12.jpg|thumb|Wes-Li Sonichu apparently [[Chris and art|grows to about 20 feet tall]], does an [[Wikipedia:Edward G. Robinson|Edward G. Robinson]] impression, and kidnaps [[Sarah Hammer]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]]]

In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] he appeared again to use his magical powers to kidnap Sarah at her wedding to [[William Spicer]]. Despite ostensibly not wanting to be kidnapped, Sarah neglects to employ any of her Anchuent powers, and thus Chris must take him down. This being the early days of the [[Megan]] Saga, Chris drew heavily from anime themes in this issue, so Chris and Wes did battle via [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|children's card games]] rather than an actual fight. Chris loses (again), proving for a second time that Wes was a superior fighter to him, but he and Sarah are saved by [[Sailor Megtune]] and [[Megagi La Skunk]], and the wedding continues without issue.

Iseli was briefly seen in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], attending the conference of villains following Christian's disappearance into the [[Time Void]]. Given that the conference was run by Mary and Count Graduon, the evil that Wes was destined to defeat alongside Chris and Sarah, the prophecy seems to have gone horribly wrong. Chris, naturally, does not address this.

Wes was last seen in the comic in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], appearing on a grand total of two pages. First early in the issue, where he was seen scouting around the city in preparation for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] attack, assisted by [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] and [[Silvana]], and later on again, when he calls Mary and tells her that a magic dome was protecting the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] from attack, and that they needed Mary to come down there personally to get through. He is never seen fighting in this issue, and it is to date his final appearance.

Still to this day, Wes's final fate remains unknown. Whether he was counted among the brainwashing victims freed by Chris or not has never been stated, and depending on whether or not Wes was acting of his own free will in helping Mary and the PVCC, he may or may not be the last surviving villain other than [[Clawdorf]] and [[Metal Sonichu]] after the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] purge.

===Wes-Li Sonichu===
[[Image:FlameSnipers.jpg|thumb|Wes-li's Flame Sniper (left) compared to Sailor Mars' Flame Sniper (right).]]

Wes-Li Sonichu (pronounced [wɛzlaɪ], "Wez-lie", according to Chris's [[videobooks]], and as "Wesley" according to the [[Audiobooks]]) is the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] form of Wes Iseli when he is transformed by the Fireshock Pendant empowered by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Although the prophecy foretold that Wes-Li, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan]], and [[Saramah Rosechu|Saramah]] would work together to defeat [[Count Graduon]], Wes's spitefulness toward Chris and his bitterness at having been rejected by [[Sarah Hammer]] would lead him to use his powers for evil.

Prior to the retcon, Wes-Li was a passable pun. With the name change, it makes absolutely no sense that a person named "Walter Grisby" would have an alter ego that does not resemble his name in any way - unless one knows the background of this character.

As he is not featured much, Wes-Li Sonichu is not seen to possess anything like the absurdly vast array of powers that Chris-Chan Sonichu does. He is however, seen using the Pokémon moves Fire Blast, Flamethrower, Mega Kick and Sky Uppercut, as well as a move known as the Flame Sniper, in which he uses a bow and arrow made of fire to shoot at a target. The name and attack itself are another rip-off from [[Sailor Moon]]. With help from Chris-Chan and Saramah, Wes-Li can also use the "Team Blast: Blue Fireball Attack", but being the stupid Deus Ex Machina finishing move it is, the attack is used only once to destroy Graduon's golem and is never used again. It is also ripped off from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]''.

=== Wasabi Rival ===
[[File:Wasabi rival.jpg|100px|thumb|left|The Wasabi Rival or the Pope? YOU DECIDE!]]

The Wasabi Rival was the ancient alter ego of Wes Iseli in the ''Sonichu'' comics. According to ''[[Sonichu 2]]'', the [[Wasabi Clan]] were contemporaries of the Ancient Cherokee. One of the Wasabi, presumably a leader figure of some sort, somehow determined that stealing the [[Cherokian Crown]] from his [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|rival]] would allow him and his tribe to rule the world. This led to a bitter rivalry between the ambitious Wasabi man and the Cherokian Leader. Despite their differences, the Cherokian Leader and his Wasabi Rival were eventually able to forge a temporary alliance against the greater menace of [[Count Graduon]]. Together, the Wasabi and Cherokee defeated Graduon, imprisoning him within a magic scepter for centuries.

Years later, when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was at last fulfilled, the Wasabi Rival appeared in a vision to his reincarnation, Wes Iseli, in order to instruct him in use of the Fireshock Pendant. Exactly how and why the Wasabi Rival is able to communicate with Wes like this is not explained. He teaches Wes how to use all his powers and sends him off to his first battle.

Notably, even though the entire reason Wes had the powers at all was because Count Graduon had come back and needed to be stopped again, something the Wasabi Rival should have known was the priority at that moment, he still told Wes to go after Chris and steal the [[Cherokian Crown]] anyway. Either that crown is ''really, really important'', or the Wasabi Rival just enjoys being a douche from beyond the grave.
{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:290-ACWes.jpg|Human Wes. Note that everything is on fire behind him.
Image:291-ACWesBck.jpg|Page quote is from this card.
File:Wes.PNG|Another drawing of Wes that, of course, [[Chris and art|doesn't look anything like the first one]]. Note the Fireshock Pendant and rabbit in a hat.
Image:295-WesLi.jpg|Flame on, bitch!
Image:140-AJerk.jpg|Chris, ripping himself off.
Image:296-FireshockPendant.jpg|Fireshock Pendant
Image:294-YuWesLi.jpg|It's just not as impressive without the flame background.
Image:292-ACWesLi.jpg|And even less so with the ''Animal Crossing'' logo.
File:127-LevelBattle.jpg|[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] takes on a villain.
Image:293-ACWesLiBck.jpg|Notice how the human Wes has no star sign but Wes-Li does?
File:Wes_li_xbox.jpg|Wes Li plays [[HEXbox]], further cementing his villainous status.
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://partymagic.50megs.com/ Old magic site]
* [http://wesiseli.com/ New magic site]
* [http://www.youtube.com/wesleyiseli YouTube account]
* [http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1205570207 Facebook]

{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Iseli, Wes}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]

1980s

2015-05-10T03:21:15Z

Beanmachine91:

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Chris and his mom in the eighties.]]
[[Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris in '''1982''']]
[[Image:0002-1-Baby_Chris_and_Mommy.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris and Barbara.]]
[[Image:0004-ChristopherDec1985.jpg|thumb|Chris and Barbara in '''1985'''.]]
[[File:Cwcbaby.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST BabyCWC]]
[[Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg|thumb|'''1986''']]
[[Image:0008-ChristopherShopping12-1986.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''1986'''.]]
[[Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|thumb|'''1987''', Chris turns 5.]]
[[Image:0031-1-Chris_on_Pony.jpg|thumb|Poor pony.]]
[[Image:0031-EasterChristopher.jpg|thumb|Twenty years later, Chris himself would have a try at the [[Bunny Hop]].]]

The '''1980s''' was the decade in which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was born, under the name Christopher Weston Chandler. (His name wasn't changed until [[1994]].) According to Chris, he had a lot of trouble growing up, and even coped with a prolonged episode of muteness.

Source material referring to the 1980s is scarce, and this article is mostly based on statements made by Chris at a later age, and on image material.

==1980==
The year [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] got married.
===Events of 1980===
* 1980 - [[Cole]] moves away.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref>
* 7 June - Bob and Barbara get married.<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself#Family matters]]</ref><ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]</ref>
* August - Bob receives two triple bypass operations.

==1981==
The last year of peace for Bob and Barbara Chandler. Unluckily for them, the happy couple filled their time with lots of unprotected love-making. During the second half on this year, Barbara would be pregnant.
===Events of 1981===
* 26 May (approx.) - Bob and Barbara Chandler have sweaty old people sex. [[Christopher Weston Chandler]] is conceived.4
* Fall 1981 - Cole enters San Diego State University and joins the Rockin' Dogs.
* 26 November (approx) - Barbara's last chance to abort Chris.

==1982==
The year that began the entire sorry saga.
===Events of 1982===
* 24 February - Christopher Weston Chandler is born around 5:30 a.m. at [[Wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]] in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref>
* 24 February - Chris is brought back to the Chandler [[house]]hold in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]].<ref>According to Christian in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>
* April - Chris allegedly speaks his first word: "[[Niggos|monkey]]."<ref name="Song and Wikipedia">[[Song of Christian]] and [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>
* 13 October - [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] is born.<ref name="LifeShares">[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story]]</ref>

==1983==
Chris has stated that in '''1983''', he was abused by his [[babysitter]], "starting" his [[autism]]. On other occasions, however, Chris has said that he is aware of autism being a hereditary disease, making his "acquisition" of autism impossible.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> We can nonetheless assume that the abuse Christopher suffered in 1983 was traumatic and possibly exacerbated his condition.<ref>First statement was done in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>

===Events of 1983===
* 24 February - Christopher's 1st birthday.
* August - Christopher's autism allegedly "begins." He claims the reason was an evil [[babysitter]] named [[Roach]], who locked him in a room. He becomes mute.<ref name="Song and Wikipedia" />

==1984==
In '''1984''', Chris lived his life in [[Richmond]] as a mute toddler. He himself declares that he gave his parents a lot of trouble, and he screeched a lot.<ref name="WikiProfile" /> It is possibly indicated that his parents held this against him at a later age, and didn't really like caring for the [[autistic]] child they had created themselves.

===Events of 1984===
* 1984 - Cole leaves San Diego State University.
* 24 February - Christopher's 2nd birthday.

==1985==
In '''1985''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler. He first meets his [[Gal-Pal]] [[Sarah]].

===Events of 1985===
* This year - Sarah Hammer and her family moves to Chris's neighborhood. The cordial relations that develops between the Hammer and Chandler couples lead to a (sort of) friendship between Chris and Sarah.<ref name="LifeShares" />
* This year - Cole's band, The Rockin Dogs, disbands.
* 24 February - Christopher's 3rd birthday.
* April - Chris has his picture taken holding a [[4-cent garbage|leaf]].
* ''12 August - birth of [[Jack Thaddeus]]''.
* December - Chris and Barbara have their picture taken with Santa Claus.

==1986==
In '''1986''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler.

===Events of 1986===
* 17 January - ''[[The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]'' is released.
* 24 February - Christopher's 4th birthday.
* June - Chris has his picture taken at what seems to be a zoo.
* 23 July - Birth of [[Megan Schroeder]].
* December - Chris has his picture taken in front of a bathroom, and at a shopping mall.

==1987==
In '''1987''', Chris starts attending [[Greene County Primary School]]. It isn't known for sure if he attended pre-kindergarten before then.

===Events of 1987===
* 24 February - Christopher's 5th birthday. A paper hat is made in his honor.
* August/September - Chris begins kindergarten at [[Greene County Primary School]].

==1988==
In '''1988''', Chris starts first grade at Greene County Primary School, but he is still mute. Late [[1980s]], Chris joins the [[Chris and religion|Cub Scouts]].
===Events of 1988===
* Date unknown - [[Minor_Family_Members#Carol_Suzanne_Chandler|Carol Chandler]] wins the McShane Prize.
* 24 February - Christopher's 6th birthday.
* 17 March - [[Patti]] is born.<ref>As can be read on the doghouse in Sonichu #6: [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic7.htm]</ref>
* August/September - Chris begins first grade at Greene County Primary School.

==1989==
In '''1989''', helped by the language training at [[James Madison University]], Christopher starts talking again whilst reading a Gobot package.<ref>According to Christian in the Song of Christian video.</ref>

===Events of 1989===
* 1989 - Chris claims that he had a dream that in which he saw himself with a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], and working in an office.
* 24 February - Christopher's 7th birthday.
* August/September - Chris enters second grade at Greene County Primary School.
* December - The English conductor of the Regency Square Bear Band, Leonard Bearstein, mistakes Christopher's name for "Christian". According to Chris, this stuck, and would inspire his [[Christopher's name change|name-change]] in [[1994]],<ref name="dvd1">[[:Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|DVD, note 1]]</ref> though other sources state that this happened in [[1992]].
* 25 December - Chris gets his second gaming system, a [[Nintendo]] Game Boy, for Christmas.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

1980s

2015-05-10T03:20:13Z

Beanmachine91:

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Chris and his mom in the eighties.]]
[[Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris in '''1982''']]
[[Image:0002-1-Baby_Chris_and_Mommy.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris and Barbara.]]
[[Image:0004-ChristopherDec1985.jpg|thumb|Chris and Barbara in '''1985'''.]]
[[File:Cwcbaby.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST BabyCWC]]
[[Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg|thumb|'''1986''']]
[[Image:0008-ChristopherShopping12-1986.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''1986'''.]]
[[Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|thumb|'''1987''', Chris turns 5.]]
[[Image:0031-1-Chris_on_Pony.jpg|thumb|Poor pony.]]
[[Image:0031-EasterChristopher.jpg|thumb|Twenty years later, Chris himself would have a try at the [[Bunny Hop]].]]

The '''1980s''' was the decade in which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was born, under the name Christopher Weston Chandler. (His name wasn't changed until [[1994]].) According to Chris, he had a lot of trouble growing up, and even coped with a prolonged episode of muteness.

Source material referring to the 1980s is scarce, and this article is mostly based on statements made by Chris at a later age, and on image material.

==1980==
The year [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] got married.
===Events of 1980===
* 1980 - [[Cole]] moves away.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref>
* 7 June - Bob and Barbara get married.<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself#Family matters]]</ref><ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]</ref>
* August - Bob receives two triple operations.

==1981==
The last year of peace for Bob and Barbara Chandler. Unluckily for them, the happy couple filled their time with lots of unprotected love-making. During the second half on this year, Barbara would be pregnant.
===Events of 1981===
* 26 May (approx.) - Bob and Barbara Chandler have sweaty old people sex. [[Christopher Weston Chandler]] is conceived.4
* Fall 1981 - Cole enters San Diego State University and joins the Rockin' Dogs.
* 26 November (approx) - Barbara's last chance to abort Chris.

==1982==
The year that began the entire sorry saga.
===Events of 1982===
* 24 February - Christopher Weston Chandler is born around 5:30 a.m. at [[Wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]] in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref>
* 24 February - Chris is brought back to the Chandler [[house]]hold in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]].<ref>According to Christian in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>
* April - Chris allegedly speaks his first word: "[[Niggos|monkey]]."<ref name="Song and Wikipedia">[[Song of Christian]] and [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>
* 13 October - [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] is born.<ref name="LifeShares">[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story]]</ref>

==1983==
Chris has stated that in '''1983''', he was abused by his [[babysitter]], "starting" his [[autism]]. On other occasions, however, Chris has said that he is aware of autism being a hereditary disease, making his "acquisition" of autism impossible.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> We can nonetheless assume that the abuse Christopher suffered in 1983 was traumatic and possibly exacerbated his condition.<ref>First statement was done in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>

===Events of 1983===
* 24 February - Christopher's 1st birthday.
* August - Christopher's autism allegedly "begins." He claims the reason was an evil [[babysitter]] named [[Roach]], who locked him in a room. He becomes mute.<ref name="Song and Wikipedia" />

==1984==
In '''1984''', Chris lived his life in [[Richmond]] as a mute toddler. He himself declares that he gave his parents a lot of trouble, and he screeched a lot.<ref name="WikiProfile" /> It is possibly indicated that his parents held this against him at a later age, and didn't really like caring for the [[autistic]] child they had created themselves.

===Events of 1984===
* 1984 - Cole leaves San Diego State University.
* 24 February - Christopher's 2nd birthday.

==1985==
In '''1985''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler. He first meets his [[Gal-Pal]] [[Sarah]].

===Events of 1985===
* This year - Sarah Hammer and her family moves to Chris's neighborhood. The cordial relations that develops between the Hammer and Chandler couples lead to a (sort of) friendship between Chris and Sarah.<ref name="LifeShares" />
* This year - Cole's band, The Rockin Dogs, disbands.
* 24 February - Christopher's 3rd birthday.
* April - Chris has his picture taken holding a [[4-cent garbage|leaf]].
* ''12 August - birth of [[Jack Thaddeus]]''.
* December - Chris and Barbara have their picture taken with Santa Claus.

==1986==
In '''1986''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler.

===Events of 1986===
* 17 January - ''[[The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]'' is released.
* 24 February - Christopher's 4th birthday.
* June - Chris has his picture taken at what seems to be a zoo.
* 23 July - Birth of [[Megan Schroeder]].
* December - Chris has his picture taken in front of a bathroom, and at a shopping mall.

==1987==
In '''1987''', Chris starts attending [[Greene County Primary School]]. It isn't known for sure if he attended pre-kindergarten before then.

===Events of 1987===
* 24 February - Christopher's 5th birthday. A paper hat is made in his honor.
* August/September - Chris begins kindergarten at [[Greene County Primary School]].

==1988==
In '''1988''', Chris starts first grade at Greene County Primary School, but he is still mute. Late [[1980s]], Chris joins the [[Chris and religion|Cub Scouts]].
===Events of 1988===
* Date unknown - [[Minor_Family_Members#Carol_Suzanne_Chandler|Carol Chandler]] wins the McShane Prize.
* 24 February - Christopher's 6th birthday.
* 17 March - [[Patti]] is born.<ref>As can be read on the doghouse in Sonichu #6: [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic7.htm]</ref>
* August/September - Chris begins first grade at Greene County Primary School.

==1989==
In '''1989''', helped by the language training at [[James Madison University]], Christopher starts talking again whilst reading a Gobot package.<ref>According to Christian in the Song of Christian video.</ref>

===Events of 1989===
* 1989 - Chris claims that he had a dream that in which he saw himself with a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], and working in an office.
* 24 February - Christopher's 7th birthday.
* August/September - Chris enters second grade at Greene County Primary School.
* December - The English conductor of the Regency Square Bear Band, Leonard Bearstein, mistakes Christopher's name for "Christian". According to Chris, this stuck, and would inspire his [[Christopher's name change|name-change]] in [[1994]],<ref name="dvd1">[[:Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|DVD, note 1]]</ref> though other sources state that this happened in [[1992]].
* 25 December - Chris gets his second gaming system, a [[Nintendo]] Game Boy, for Christmas.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

CWCki:Sperging

2015-05-10T01:50:35Z

Beanmachine91: /* Why is this a problem? */

'''Sperging''' is a slang term which describes certain behavior online which is stereotypically associated with people who have [[Asperger syndrome]]. The most common meaning refers to excessive discussion or analysis of what would normally be regarded as a very specific, irrelevant or pointless topic. Sperging is often used as a negative description of these discussions, as well as the actions of the users who contribute to them.

== Examples of sperging ==
=== Scenario 1 ===
* A leaked Chris video has surfaced and a new article for the video is created.
* A user starts a discussion or makes a remark on the video article's talk page which is almost pure speculation.
:*e.g. "So I have a theory about why Chris made this video. It's the summer and it's too hot in Chris's house for him to play his [[PS3]], so he decided to..."
:*e.g. "I noticed that Chris has a grease stain on his shirt. I think this is because his mother stopped washing his clothes to show her disapproval of Chris's new [[Tomgirl]] look."
=== Scenario 2 ===
* New photos of Chris are uploaded, showing him posing with someone at a restaurant or bar.
* A user starts a discussion or makes a remark about minor, irrelevant, and possibly trivial details that have already been explained.
:*e.g. "So who do we think took the photos?"

=== Scenario 3 ===
* A user starts a discussion on an article talk page about new plans or ideas they have about ways to troll Chris.
:*e.g. "I was thinking that maybe someone should try to call Chris purporting to be a private investigator, and they try to get Chris to..."

== Why is this a problem? ==
While there is really nothing wrong with wanting to discuss something online, it's important that such discussions are held in the most relevant and appropriate places. This allows regular discussion of other things to take place without large amounts of seemingly less productive or relevant messages, while also allowing like-minded people to discuss topics relevant to their interests, no matter how specific or seemingly unnecessary to others.

On the CWCki, we have witnessed countless incidents of sperging. This usually takes place in the form of lengthy and/or irrelevant talk page messages. New users are more likely to start up or contribute to discussions which are classed as sperging. Here are some of the problems this causes:
* It makes article talk pages become cluttered with discussion that is not directly related to helping improve the article.
* It makes words, sentences, and paragraphs difficult to read and they don't roll off like they should.
* It makes certain users stand out as perhaps having Asperger syndrome, [[autism]] or a related condition.
* It can make those users vulnerable targets for trolls.
* It detracts away from the purpose and goal of the CWCki, to document all things about [[Chris]].

As a result, we strongly encourage users to read our guidelines for talk page discussions - such as the [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|Not A Forum]] policy, before they make additions to talk pages on the CWCki. You have been warned!

== Places where sperging is less of an issue ==
While we have a very low tolerance for "sperging" here on the CWCki, there are other places related to Chris where such discussions are either tolerated, permitted or even encouraged. The locations listed below are for guidance only.
* [[Kiwi Farms]] - Highly recommended place to discuss anything about Chris to your heart's content. This board was created in response to the growing demand for a place where people could discuss anything without fear of violating CWCki's strict talk page policies.
* [[Sonichu (IRC)|#sonichu]] - Meet some of the most clued-up people about Chris and put forward any questions you may have. As long as you don't start writing huge essays, you should receive a generally positive response here.
* [[/cwc/|/cow/]] - An image board where some Chris followers can be found. The board can be a little daunting if you are unfamiliar with image boards. Sperging is still discouraged there, but is not explicitly against the rules.

The rules regarding what can and cannot be discussed may change since this article was last updated, so we advise you check the rules for each location first before you go ahead and post whatever is on your mind.

== Places where sperging is an issue ==
* The CWCki - for reasons already explained above.
* [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] - This is a forum with restricted access. One of the main reasons for this is to help reduce "sperg" posts as much as possible.

[[Category:CWCki policy]]

CWCki:Sperging

2015-05-10T01:48:01Z

Beanmachine91: /* Scenario 2 */

'''Sperging''' is a slang term which describes certain behavior online which is stereotypically associated with people who have [[Asperger syndrome]]. The most common meaning refers to excessive discussion or analysis of what would normally be regarded as a very specific, irrelevant or pointless topic. Sperging is often used as a negative description of these discussions, as well as the actions of the users who contribute to them.

== Examples of sperging ==
=== Scenario 1 ===
* A leaked Chris video has surfaced and a new article for the video is created.
* A user starts a discussion or makes a remark on the video article's talk page which is almost pure speculation.
:*e.g. "So I have a theory about why Chris made this video. It's the summer and it's too hot in Chris's house for him to play his [[PS3]], so he decided to..."
:*e.g. "I noticed that Chris has a grease stain on his shirt. I think this is because his mother stopped washing his clothes to show her disapproval of Chris's new [[Tomgirl]] look."
=== Scenario 2 ===
* New photos of Chris are uploaded, showing him posing with someone at a restaurant or bar.
* A user starts a discussion or makes a remark about minor, irrelevant, and possibly trivial details that have already been explained.
:*e.g. "So who do we think took the photos?"

=== Scenario 3 ===
* A user starts a discussion on an article talk page about new plans or ideas they have about ways to troll Chris.
:*e.g. "I was thinking that maybe someone should try to call Chris purporting to be a private investigator, and they try to get Chris to..."

== Why is this a problem? ==
While there is really nothing wrong with wanting to discuss something online, it's important that such discussions are held in the most relevant and appropriate places. This allows regular discussion of other things to take place without large amounts of seemingly less productive or relevant messages, while also allowing like-minded people to discuss topics relevant to their interests, no matter how specific or seemingly unnecessary to others.

On the CWCki, we have witnessed countless incidents of sperging. This usually takes place in the form of lengthy and/or irrelevant talk page messages. New users are more likely to start up or contribute to discussions which are classed as sperging. Here are some of the problems this causes:
* It makes article talk pages become cluttered with discussion that is not directly related to helping improve the article.
* It makes certain users stand out as perhaps having Asperger syndrome, [[autism]] or a related condition.
* It can make those users vulnerable targets for trolls.
* It detracts away from the purpose and goal of the CWCki, to document all things about [[Chris]].

As a result, we strongly encourage users to read our guidelines for talk page discussions - such as the [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|Not A Forum]] policy, before they make additions to talk pages on the CWCki.

== Places where sperging is less of an issue ==
While we have a very low tolerance for "sperging" here on the CWCki, there are other places related to Chris where such discussions are either tolerated, permitted or even encouraged. The locations listed below are for guidance only.
* [[Kiwi Farms]] - Highly recommended place to discuss anything about Chris to your heart's content. This board was created in response to the growing demand for a place where people could discuss anything without fear of violating CWCki's strict talk page policies.
* [[Sonichu (IRC)|#sonichu]] - Meet some of the most clued-up people about Chris and put forward any questions you may have. As long as you don't start writing huge essays, you should receive a generally positive response here.
* [[/cwc/|/cow/]] - An image board where some Chris followers can be found. The board can be a little daunting if you are unfamiliar with image boards. Sperging is still discouraged there, but is not explicitly against the rules.

The rules regarding what can and cannot be discussed may change since this article was last updated, so we advise you check the rules for each location first before you go ahead and post whatever is on your mind.

== Places where sperging is an issue ==
* The CWCki - for reasons already explained above.
* [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] - This is a forum with restricted access. One of the main reasons for this is to help reduce "sperg" posts as much as possible.

[[Category:CWCki policy]]

Help talk:A Quick Guide to CWCki

2015-05-10T01:43:36Z

Beanmachine91: /* to much illiteracy and mumbo jumbo big words which sound like filler! */

==Why I Made This==
I'm sure to piss off half the people here for it but thanks to CWCki, I've become a bit of a wikifag and I now see why so many Ass Pies are admins over at Wikipedia. While we're not Wikipedia, we're still aiming to be a respectable wiki, even if it is a wiki devoted to an autistic manchild we love to hate and hate to love, and we should at least strive for very basic stuff (like notability guidelines, not editing an article about yourself, that sort of thing).

This isn't intended to be official, but just good guidelines. As anything else, this can be edited so if you disagree, you can edit it to make it better. I hope you all agree the need for some of these suggestions and edit it accordingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:24, 14 March 2009 (CET)

i love shiny marshtomp D:

in my pants

but seriously though i'll put this up on some...thing [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 05:39, 14 March 2009 (CET)

== Dates ==

Linking them like "1 [[March 2009]]" saves the trouble of explicitly linking 2009#March. Also, it gives a [[Special:Whatlinkshere/March 2009|list of back links]] which can be useful when maintaining lists. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 05:17, 3 May 2009 (CEST)

Ob the subject of dates, any way we can get it to display the current date in the format of DD MONTH YYYY with the month spelled out? the dd/mm/yy tends to confuse the hell out of people, as Eurofags might read 9/11 to think it's 9 November whereas an Americunt will read it as 11 September. Of course, if you say 11 September, the Eurofag will be like "Oh, that makes sense" and an Americunt will find it an alright way, as people sometimes say like "the [x]th of [month]." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:01, 11 October 2009 (CEST)

== "When it comes to dates, be a Eurofag" ==

Should we really be doing this? Chris and most his trolls are American, after all; plus it just makes us look pretentious. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 04:02, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
*But this is an international standard and there can be no confusion, not to mention it's easier to link to months. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:29, 20 December 2010 (PST)

==Images==
We could use some images here, preferably ORIGINAL CONTENT, to illustrate points here.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:38, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*So like what, one image per section? Should it just be ASCII (e.g. "Sign your comments" has an image of 4 tildes) or do you want some stylized Wikipe-tan chibi shit (e.g. "When it comes to dates be a Eurofag" has Niggo-tan (working title) dressed as a Russian)? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:50, 20 December 2010 (PST)
[[File:AESUMpaint.jpeg]]
This is an example of my commissioned art. It's still better than most of DA. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 18:00, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*Some sort of drawing is what I was more feeling like, perhaps something incorporating [{CWCki-tan]] would be an interesting theme. More or less whatever you feel can convey the message best.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:59, 3 January 2011 (PST)

==Grammar==

I don't know if it really matters, but I recently became aware of a few differences between American and English grammar. For example, I was looking at [http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonic_the_Hedgehog&action=historysubmit&diff=137464&oldid=136873 this edit] and noticed that the comma was placed inside the quotation mark ("Conventional" grammar, a.k.a. American), whereas here in England it would only be put in the quote if it was part of the source material being quoted ("Logical" grammar). Again, it's a pretty minor thing, but I guess it would be useful to know. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 05:12, 22 March 2011 (PDT)
*This would probably be inclusive to "When it comes to spelling, be an Americunt," though the language could be broadened. Let's make it happen', capt'n.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:01, 22 March 2011 (PDT)

I agree with you 100%, i to have been noticing grammar flaws as well, and I'm going out of my way to condense articles and making the sentences roll off easily like a novel, I read a lot and people have looked at my reading abilities expectantly. --[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 01:43, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

== to much illiteracy and mumbo jumbo big words that sound like immature filler! ==

If you have read enough books and novels like i have,
you would see that there are many articles that look like they have been written by illiterate weens
and the sentences/paragraphs don't roll off like they should. big words make you look pretentious if you use them when you don't have to.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with technicality, it's obvious many editing guidelines were ignored,
by the way I have been lurking long before I signed up.
--[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 01:36, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

Help talk:A Quick Guide to CWCki

2015-05-10T01:43:07Z

Beanmachine91: /* Grammar */

==Why I Made This==
I'm sure to piss off half the people here for it but thanks to CWCki, I've become a bit of a wikifag and I now see why so many Ass Pies are admins over at Wikipedia. While we're not Wikipedia, we're still aiming to be a respectable wiki, even if it is a wiki devoted to an autistic manchild we love to hate and hate to love, and we should at least strive for very basic stuff (like notability guidelines, not editing an article about yourself, that sort of thing).

This isn't intended to be official, but just good guidelines. As anything else, this can be edited so if you disagree, you can edit it to make it better. I hope you all agree the need for some of these suggestions and edit it accordingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:24, 14 March 2009 (CET)

i love shiny marshtomp D:

in my pants

but seriously though i'll put this up on some...thing [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 05:39, 14 March 2009 (CET)

== Dates ==

Linking them like "1 [[March 2009]]" saves the trouble of explicitly linking 2009#March. Also, it gives a [[Special:Whatlinkshere/March 2009|list of back links]] which can be useful when maintaining lists. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 05:17, 3 May 2009 (CEST)

Ob the subject of dates, any way we can get it to display the current date in the format of DD MONTH YYYY with the month spelled out? the dd/mm/yy tends to confuse the hell out of people, as Eurofags might read 9/11 to think it's 9 November whereas an Americunt will read it as 11 September. Of course, if you say 11 September, the Eurofag will be like "Oh, that makes sense" and an Americunt will find it an alright way, as people sometimes say like "the [x]th of [month]." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:01, 11 October 2009 (CEST)

== "When it comes to dates, be a Eurofag" ==

Should we really be doing this? Chris and most his trolls are American, after all; plus it just makes us look pretentious. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 04:02, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
*But this is an international standard and there can be no confusion, not to mention it's easier to link to months. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:29, 20 December 2010 (PST)

==Images==
We could use some images here, preferably ORIGINAL CONTENT, to illustrate points here.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:38, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*So like what, one image per section? Should it just be ASCII (e.g. "Sign your comments" has an image of 4 tildes) or do you want some stylized Wikipe-tan chibi shit (e.g. "When it comes to dates be a Eurofag" has Niggo-tan (working title) dressed as a Russian)? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:50, 20 December 2010 (PST)
[[File:AESUMpaint.jpeg]]
This is an example of my commissioned art. It's still better than most of DA. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 18:00, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*Some sort of drawing is what I was more feeling like, perhaps something incorporating [{CWCki-tan]] would be an interesting theme. More or less whatever you feel can convey the message best.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:59, 3 January 2011 (PST)

==Grammar==

I don't know if it really matters, but I recently became aware of a few differences between American and English grammar. For example, I was looking at [http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonic_the_Hedgehog&action=historysubmit&diff=137464&oldid=136873 this edit] and noticed that the comma was placed inside the quotation mark ("Conventional" grammar, a.k.a. American), whereas here in England it would only be put in the quote if it was part of the source material being quoted ("Logical" grammar). Again, it's a pretty minor thing, but I guess it would be useful to know. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 05:12, 22 March 2011 (PDT)
*This would probably be inclusive to "When it comes to spelling, be an Americunt," though the language could be broadened. Let's make it happen', capt'n.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:01, 22 March 2011 (PDT)

I agree with you 100%, i to have been noticing grammar flaws as well, and I'm going out of my way to condense articles and making the sentences roll off easily like a novel, I read a lot and people have looked at my reading abilities expectantly. --[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 01:43, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

== to much illiteracy and mumbo jumbo big words which sound like filler! ==

If you have read enough books and novels like i have,
you would see that there are many articles that look like they have been written by illiterate weens
and the sentences/paragraphs don't roll off like they should. big words make you look pretentious if you use them when you don't have to.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with technicality, it's obvious many editing guidelines were ignored,
by the way I have been lurking long before I signed up.
--[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 01:36, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

Help talk:A Quick Guide to CWCki

2015-05-10T01:38:43Z

Beanmachine91: /* Why I Made This */

==Why I Made This==
I'm sure to piss off half the people here for it but thanks to CWCki, I've become a bit of a wikifag and I now see why so many Ass Pies are admins over at Wikipedia. While we're not Wikipedia, we're still aiming to be a respectable wiki, even if it is a wiki devoted to an autistic manchild we love to hate and hate to love, and we should at least strive for very basic stuff (like notability guidelines, not editing an article about yourself, that sort of thing).

This isn't intended to be official, but just good guidelines. As anything else, this can be edited so if you disagree, you can edit it to make it better. I hope you all agree the need for some of these suggestions and edit it accordingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:24, 14 March 2009 (CET)

i love shiny marshtomp D:

in my pants

but seriously though i'll put this up on some...thing [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 05:39, 14 March 2009 (CET)

== Dates ==

Linking them like "1 [[March 2009]]" saves the trouble of explicitly linking 2009#March. Also, it gives a [[Special:Whatlinkshere/March 2009|list of back links]] which can be useful when maintaining lists. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 05:17, 3 May 2009 (CEST)

Ob the subject of dates, any way we can get it to display the current date in the format of DD MONTH YYYY with the month spelled out? the dd/mm/yy tends to confuse the hell out of people, as Eurofags might read 9/11 to think it's 9 November whereas an Americunt will read it as 11 September. Of course, if you say 11 September, the Eurofag will be like "Oh, that makes sense" and an Americunt will find it an alright way, as people sometimes say like "the [x]th of [month]." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:01, 11 October 2009 (CEST)

== "When it comes to dates, be a Eurofag" ==

Should we really be doing this? Chris and most his trolls are American, after all; plus it just makes us look pretentious. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 04:02, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
*But this is an international standard and there can be no confusion, not to mention it's easier to link to months. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:29, 20 December 2010 (PST)

==Images==
We could use some images here, preferably ORIGINAL CONTENT, to illustrate points here.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:38, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*So like what, one image per section? Should it just be ASCII (e.g. "Sign your comments" has an image of 4 tildes) or do you want some stylized Wikipe-tan chibi shit (e.g. "When it comes to dates be a Eurofag" has Niggo-tan (working title) dressed as a Russian)? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:50, 20 December 2010 (PST)
[[File:AESUMpaint.jpeg]]
This is an example of my commissioned art. It's still better than most of DA. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 18:00, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*Some sort of drawing is what I was more feeling like, perhaps something incorporating [{CWCki-tan]] would be an interesting theme. More or less whatever you feel can convey the message best.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:59, 3 January 2011 (PST)

==Grammar==

I don't know if it really matters, but I recently became aware of a few differences between American and English grammar. For example, I was looking at [http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonic_the_Hedgehog&action=historysubmit&diff=137464&oldid=136873 this edit] and noticed that the comma was placed inside the quotation mark ("Conventional" grammar, a.k.a. American), whereas here in England it would only be put in the quote if it was part of the source material being quoted ("Logical" grammar). Again, it's a pretty minor thing, but I guess it would be useful to know. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 05:12, 22 March 2011 (PDT)
*This would probably be inclusive to "When it comes to spelling, be an Americunt," though the language could be broadened. Let's make it happen', capt'n.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:01, 22 March 2011 (PDT)

== to much illiteracy and mumbo jumbo big words which sound like filler! ==

If you have read enough books and novels like i have,
you would see that there are many articles that look like they have been written by illiterate weens
and the sentences/paragraphs don't roll off like they should. big words make you look pretentious if you use them when you don't have to.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with technicality, it's obvious many editing guidelines were ignored,
by the way I have been lurking long before I signed up.
--[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 01:36, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

Help talk:A Quick Guide to CWCki

2015-05-10T01:37:04Z

Beanmachine91: /* to much illiteracy and mumbo jumbo big words which sound like filler! */

==Why I Made This==
I'm sure to piss off half the people here for it but thanks to CWCki, I've become a bit of a wikifag and I now see why so many Ass Pies are admins over at Wikipedia. While we're not Wikipedia, we're still aiming to be a respectable wiki, even if it is a wiki devoted to an autistic manchild we love to hate and hate to love, and we should at least strive for very basic stuff (like notability guidelines, not editing an article about yourself, that sort of thing).

This isn't intended to be official, but just a good guidelines. As anything else, this can be edited so if you disagree, you can edit it to make it better. I hope you all agree the need for some of these suggestions and edit it accordingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:24, 14 March 2009 (CET)

i love shiny marshtomp D:

in my pants

but seriously though i'll put this up on some...thing [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 05:39, 14 March 2009 (CET)

== Dates ==

Linking them like "1 [[March 2009]]" saves the trouble of explicitly linking 2009#March. Also, it gives a [[Special:Whatlinkshere/March 2009|list of back links]] which can be useful when maintaining lists. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 05:17, 3 May 2009 (CEST)

Ob the subject of dates, any way we can get it to display the current date in the format of DD MONTH YYYY with the month spelled out? the dd/mm/yy tends to confuse the hell out of people, as Eurofags might read 9/11 to think it's 9 November whereas an Americunt will read it as 11 September. Of course, if you say 11 September, the Eurofag will be like "Oh, that makes sense" and an Americunt will find it an alright way, as people sometimes say like "the [x]th of [month]." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:01, 11 October 2009 (CEST)

== "When it comes to dates, be a Eurofag" ==

Should we really be doing this? Chris and most his trolls are American, after all; plus it just makes us look pretentious. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 04:02, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
*But this is an international standard and there can be no confusion, not to mention it's easier to link to months. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:29, 20 December 2010 (PST)

==Images==
We could use some images here, preferably ORIGINAL CONTENT, to illustrate points here.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:38, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*So like what, one image per section? Should it just be ASCII (e.g. "Sign your comments" has an image of 4 tildes) or do you want some stylized Wikipe-tan chibi shit (e.g. "When it comes to dates be a Eurofag" has Niggo-tan (working title) dressed as a Russian)? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:50, 20 December 2010 (PST)
[[File:AESUMpaint.jpeg]]
This is an example of my commissioned art. It's still better than most of DA. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 18:00, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*Some sort of drawing is what I was more feeling like, perhaps something incorporating [{CWCki-tan]] would be an interesting theme. More or less whatever you feel can convey the message best.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:59, 3 January 2011 (PST)

==Grammar==

I don't know if it really matters, but I recently became aware of a few differences between American and English grammar. For example, I was looking at [http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonic_the_Hedgehog&action=historysubmit&diff=137464&oldid=136873 this edit] and noticed that the comma was placed inside the quotation mark ("Conventional" grammar, a.k.a. American), whereas here in England it would only be put in the quote if it was part of the source material being quoted ("Logical" grammar). Again, it's a pretty minor thing, but I guess it would be useful to know. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 05:12, 22 March 2011 (PDT)
*This would probably be inclusive to "When it comes to spelling, be an Americunt," though the language could be broadened. Let's make it happen', capt'n.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:01, 22 March 2011 (PDT)

== to much illiteracy and mumbo jumbo big words which sound like filler! ==

If you have read enough books and novels like i have,
you would see that there are many articles that look like they have been written by illiterate weens
and the sentences/paragraphs don't roll off like they should. big words make you look pretentious if you use them when you don't have to.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with technicality, it's obvious many editing guidelines were ignored,
by the way I have been lurking long before I signed up.
--[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 01:36, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

Help talk:A Quick Guide to CWCki

2015-05-10T01:36:03Z

Beanmachine91: /* to much illiteracy and mumbo jumbo big words which sound like filler! */ new section

==Why I Made This==
I'm sure to piss off half the people here for it but thanks to CWCki, I've become a bit of a wikifag and I now see why so many Ass Pies are admins over at Wikipedia. While we're not Wikipedia, we're still aiming to be a respectable wiki, even if it is a wiki devoted to an autistic manchild we love to hate and hate to love, and we should at least strive for very basic stuff (like notability guidelines, not editing an article about yourself, that sort of thing).

This isn't intended to be official, but just a good guidelines. As anything else, this can be edited so if you disagree, you can edit it to make it better. I hope you all agree the need for some of these suggestions and edit it accordingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:24, 14 March 2009 (CET)

i love shiny marshtomp D:

in my pants

but seriously though i'll put this up on some...thing [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 05:39, 14 March 2009 (CET)

== Dates ==

Linking them like "1 [[March 2009]]" saves the trouble of explicitly linking 2009#March. Also, it gives a [[Special:Whatlinkshere/March 2009|list of back links]] which can be useful when maintaining lists. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 05:17, 3 May 2009 (CEST)

Ob the subject of dates, any way we can get it to display the current date in the format of DD MONTH YYYY with the month spelled out? the dd/mm/yy tends to confuse the hell out of people, as Eurofags might read 9/11 to think it's 9 November whereas an Americunt will read it as 11 September. Of course, if you say 11 September, the Eurofag will be like "Oh, that makes sense" and an Americunt will find it an alright way, as people sometimes say like "the [x]th of [month]." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:01, 11 October 2009 (CEST)

== "When it comes to dates, be a Eurofag" ==

Should we really be doing this? Chris and most his trolls are American, after all; plus it just makes us look pretentious. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 04:02, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
*But this is an international standard and there can be no confusion, not to mention it's easier to link to months. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:29, 20 December 2010 (PST)

==Images==
We could use some images here, preferably ORIGINAL CONTENT, to illustrate points here.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:38, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*So like what, one image per section? Should it just be ASCII (e.g. "Sign your comments" has an image of 4 tildes) or do you want some stylized Wikipe-tan chibi shit (e.g. "When it comes to dates be a Eurofag" has Niggo-tan (working title) dressed as a Russian)? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:50, 20 December 2010 (PST)
[[File:AESUMpaint.jpeg]]
This is an example of my commissioned art. It's still better than most of DA. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 18:00, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*Some sort of drawing is what I was more feeling like, perhaps something incorporating [{CWCki-tan]] would be an interesting theme. More or less whatever you feel can convey the message best.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:59, 3 January 2011 (PST)

==Grammar==

I don't know if it really matters, but I recently became aware of a few differences between American and English grammar. For example, I was looking at [http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonic_the_Hedgehog&action=historysubmit&diff=137464&oldid=136873 this edit] and noticed that the comma was placed inside the quotation mark ("Conventional" grammar, a.k.a. American), whereas here in England it would only be put in the quote if it was part of the source material being quoted ("Logical" grammar). Again, it's a pretty minor thing, but I guess it would be useful to know. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 05:12, 22 March 2011 (PDT)
*This would probably be inclusive to "When it comes to spelling, be an Americunt," though the language could be broadened. Let's make it happen', capt'n.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:01, 22 March 2011 (PDT)

== to much illiteracy and mumbo jumbo big words which sound like filler! ==

If you have read enough books and novels like i have, you would see that there are many articles that look like they have been written by illiterate weens and the sentences/paragraphs don't roll off like they should. big words make you look pretentious if you use them when you don't have to. Besides, there is nothing wrong with technicality, it's obvious many editing guidelines were ignored, by the way I have been lurking long before I signed up. --[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 01:36, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

June 2013

2015-05-10T01:23:01Z

Beanmachine91:

[[File:Cw3c.jpg|thumb|Chris in June 2013.]]
'''June''' was the sixth month of '''[[2013]]'''. It marked the leak of [[Tour of Chris's House|another]] video tour of [[14 Branchland Court]], as well as a few more rants to Chris's half-brother, [[Cole]].

==Events of June 2013==
* 2 June - Chris informs his [[Facebook]] friends that he is lonely.
* 6 June - Chris starts playing Toro's Friend Network, and the game is linked to [[Facebook]].
* 7 June - Chris has made 20 friends in Toro's Friend Network, according to Facebook.
* 9 June - [[Anna]] tells Chris on Facebook that she re-watched his [[DVD of Fail|DVD]] with her friend and says he is a great person. Chris takes complains about [[Megan]].
* 9 June - An [[Jackie E-mails 31|e-mail from Chris to Jackie]] on 7 [[September 2011]] is leaked to the [[CWCki Forums]], in which Chris talks about his [[dream]] that, according to the Grim Reaper, his [[Bob Chandler|father]]'s soul would not be claimed until the year [[2015]].
* 11 June - Chris has made 30 friends in Toro's Friend Network, according to a Facebook post.
* 12 June - Chris has made 50 more friends in Toro's Friend Network. He is also earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle.
* 13 June - Chris likes two [[YouTube]] videos: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Oa8Nd6H0pU "I Heard the Dog Bark" by Sesame Street] and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlinLHR2yl4 My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2], despite the fact that he once made a [[Facebook#THEY_ARE_NOT_SERIOUS.21.21.21|Facebook post raging about the Equestria Girls]].
* 13 June - [[Anna]] posts to her friends, including Chris, that they should all go to Disneyland together.
* 16 June - A picture of [[Son-Chu]] photographed on Google Street View in [[June 2011]] is leaked to the [[CWCki Forums]].
* 17 June - Chris makes a Facebook post that [[Facebook#I_am_feeling_very_lonely_again|he is lonely again.]]
* 20 June - A video of [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] on 8 June 2013 is leaked on the CWCki Forums.
* 20 and 21 June - Hidden [[Twitter]] posts from 16 [[April 2012]] to 21 June 2013 are leaked to the CWCki Forums.
* 22 June - Chris posts on [[Facebook#Too_many_Trolls_and_Bad_People_in_the_world|Facebook]] that "there are too many [[Trolls]] and Bad People in the world hiding behind the [[Internet]] constantly".
* 22 June - Chris records a [[Message for John Kyle]], complaining about [[Cole]]'s neglect of [[Barbara]].
* 24 June - Mary McLerran, relative of [[Anna McLerran|Anna]], posts to Chris that she is sending him good energy. He responds with ingratitude and sarcasm.
* 27 June - Chris makes a [[Facebook#A_skunk|Facebook]] post about a skunk.
* 29 June - Chris complains to [[Cole Smithey]] on Twitter.

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2013

2015-05-10T01:21:41Z

Beanmachine91:

[[File:Cwc1113.jpg|thumb|Chris in November 2013. [[Stress|Familiar expression]], as always.]]
[[File:Facebook1.jpg|thumb|In '''2013''', Chris mourned his expulsion from [[The GAMe PLACe|Heaven]].]]
'''2013''' was the fifth year of organized trolling since [[Chris]]'s discovery. However, like the [[2011|two]] [[2012|years]] before it, it began with nothing of note, ever since Chris began doing time, it remained to be seen if this ordeal (which ended in July) would finally knock some sense into him, though judging from [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|past experiences]], it seemed pretty unlikely. Indeed, as of the end of this year, Chris had learned nothing, except for feelings of betrayal and alienation that would haunt him throughout the year, and basically define it.

2013 was the first year Chris didn't upload any [[Chris and art|art]], mention [[sex]], and enact his [[Chris and his Ego|delusions]]. He also continued to appear in public without the [[Medallion of Fail]], and he showed more awareness of the [[trolls]]. Oddly, Chris made dubious claims of his [[Obesity|weight]], claiming that he's dropping pounds despite continuing with his unhealthy lifestyle.

However, this year is still notable as being the year where Chris' ego would cause him to become alienated with the few people he has left as "friends" (namely, Anna and the congregation of his church). It even caused him to get chastised for his attention-whoring by a well-known voice actress from [[My Little Pony]] in April. And in October, Chris discovered that his [[Manchester High School|high school]] [[gal pals]] had merely tolerated him and allowed him into their group out of pity.

Even the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] store he frequents has had enough of him - in September, an act of blatant vandalism by Chris caused him to be thrown out and banned from the store. He [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] the [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] for this incident, and went back to his pattern of publicly blaming his old "forgiven" enemies. Chris would later [[Message_for_John_Kyle|reveal]] that even his own ''family'' wants nothing to do with him or his mother - [[Cole Smithey]] didn't even invite them to his wedding in March, and ignored Chris completely when confronted by the latter on Twitter.

With the death of Bob a couple of years ago and his once-enablers getting tired of his antics, Chris is headed down a road that many have tried and failed to warn him about - one where the number of people willing to tolerate him are dwindling.

In May, an [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur account] of all of the Facebook posts made by Chris between 2012 and 2013 was revealed by Chris, shedding some light on what happened during Chris's absence since [[Bob_Chandler#Later_life_and_poor_health|the death of his father earlier in 2011]].

In August, Chris indicated that his health has taken a turn for the worse, which, when compounded with the other problems explained above, all point to one thing - The consequences of his [[exercise|sedentary lifestyle]] are finally stacking against him.

In early November, Chris uploaded his first YouTube video since 2011. In December, [[Alec Benson Leary]] leaked the [[Tour of Chris's House II]] video to the [[CWCki Forums]].

==January==
[[File:Mcdonalds.jpg|thumb|Chris in January 2013.]]
{{Main|January 2013}}
This month was a bit dull, not unlike [[2012|previous years]]. Aside from a [[McDonald's]] sighting, not much is worth noting.

==February==
{{Main|February 2013}}
This month marks Chris's 31st <s>[[Christian Love Day|love day]]</s> [[Chris's birthday|birthday]].

==March==
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in March 2013.]]
{{Main|March 2013}}
Another bland month; however, Chris's step-brother [[Cole]] is married sometime during the interval.

==April==
[[File:Haters to the left.jpg|thumb|250px|left|Chris in April 2013.]]
{{Main|April 2013}}
Like previous months, uneventful. Chris mainly stayed to his [[Facebook]] profile.

==May==
{{Main|May 2013}}
[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in May 2013.]]
This month marked the closing of [[Flipnote Hatena]], a [[Nintendo]]-run website that Chris had frequented in the past, as well as some other internet activity and leaks.

==June==
{{Main|June 2013}}
[[File:Cw3c.jpg|thumb|Chris in June 2013.]]
Another video tour of Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] is leaked, this month, among a few [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] rants from Chris.

==July==
{{Main|July 2013}}
[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg|thumb|Chris in July 2013.]]
This month saw little activity aside from a few [[July 2013 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] updates.

==August==
{{Main|August 2013}}
[[File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in August 2013.]]
More [[Facebook]] activity from Chris for the duration of the month, along with a new [[Lego]] [[Manchester High|high school]] set.

==September==
{{Main|September 2013}}
[[File:Back of Chris Chan 9-22-13.jpg|thumb|220px|Field agent observation, September 2013.]]
Again, more Facebook activity from Chris. A few photos of [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] are also leaked to the [[CWCki Forums]].

==October==
{{Main|October 2013}}
[[File:Cwc1013.png|thumb|left|Chris in an October 2013 video (eventually he uploaded the video to youtube).]]
This month marks Chris's first realization that his former [[Gal pals|gal pals]] had been (or still are) simply being friendly with him out of pity. It also marks Chris's first video of 2013; being a recreation of his beloved [[Manchester High|high school]] in a [[Lego]] replica.

==November==
{{Main|November 2013}}
Chris goes on several large [[Chris and anger|rants]] followed by [[Chris and remorse|half-assed apologies]] throughout the month; mostly involving [[Megan]].

==December==
{{Main|December 2013}}
[[File:1387772451098.jpg|thumb|Chris has a Wii U?]]
A second video of [[Chris|Chris's]] [[14 Branchland Court|house]] is released on [[YouTube]], by [[Alec Benson Leary]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2013

2015-05-10T01:14:40Z

Beanmachine91:

[[File:Cwc1113.jpg|thumb|Chris in November 2013. [[Stress|Familiar expression]], as always.]]
[[File:Facebook1.jpg|thumb|In '''2013''', Chris mourned his expulsion from [[The GAMe PLACe|Heaven]].]]
'''2013''' was the fifth year of organized trolling since [[Chris]]'s discovery. However, like the [[2011|two]] [[2012|years]] before it, it began with nothing of note, ever since Chris began doing time, it remained to be seen if this ordeal (which ended in July) would finally knock some sense into him, though judging from [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|past experiences]], it seemed pretty unlikely. Indeed, as of the end of this year, Chris had learned nothing, except for feelings of betrayal and alienation that would haunt him throughout the year, and basically define it.

2013 was the first year Chris didn't upload any [[Chris and art|art]], mention [[sex]], and enact his [[Chris and his Ego|delusions]]. He also continued to appear in public without the [[Medallion of Fail]], and he showed more awareness of the [[trolls]]. Oddly, Chris made dubious claims of his [[Obesity|weight]], claiming that he's dropping pounds despite continuing with his unhealthy lifestyle.

However, this year is still notable as being the year where Chris' ego would cause him to become alienated with the few people he has left as "friends" (namely, Anna and the congregation of his church). It even caused him to get chastised for his attention-whoring by a well-known voice actress from [[My Little Pony]] in April. And in October, Chris discovered that his [[Manchester High School|high school]] [[gal pals]] had merely tolerated him and allowed him into their group out of pity.

Even the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] store he frequents has had enough of him - in September, an act of blatant vandalism by Chris caused him to be thrown out and banned from the store. He [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] the [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] for this incident, and went back to his pattern of publicly blaming his old "forgiven" enemies. Chris would later [[Message_for_John_Kyle|reveal]] that even his own ''family'' wants nothing to do with him or his mother - [[Cole Smithey]] didn't even invite them to his wedding in March, and ignored Chris completely when confronted by the latter on Twitter.

With the death of Bob a couple of years ago and his once-enablers getting tired of his antics, Chris is headed down a road that many have tried and failed to warn him about - one where the number of people willing to tolerate him are dwindling.

In May, an [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur account] of all of the Facebook posts made by Chris between 2012 and 2013 was revealed by Chris, shedding some light on what happened during Chris's absence since [[Bob_Chandler#Later_life_and_poor_health|the death of his father earlier in 2011]].

In August, Chris indicated that his health has taken a turn for the worse, which, when compounded with the other problems explained above, all point to one thing - The consequences of his [[exercise|sedentary lifestyle]] are finally stacking against him.

In early November, Chris uploaded his first YouTube video since 2011. In December, [[Alec Benson Leary]] leaked the [[Tour of Chris's House II]] video to the [[CWCki Forums]].

==January==
[[File:Mcdonalds.jpg|thumb|Chris in January 2013.]]
{{Main|January 2013}}
This month was a bit dull, not unlike [[2012|previous years]]. Aside from a [[McDonald's]] sighting, not much is worth noting.

==February==
{{Main|February 2013}}
This month marks Chris's 31st <s>[[Christian Love Day|love day]]</s> [[Chris's birthday|birthday]].

==March==
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in March 2013.]]
{{Main|March 2013}}
Another bland month; however, Chris's step-brother [[Cole]] is married sometime during the interval.

==April==
[[File:Haters to the left.jpg|thumb|250px|left|Chris in April 2013.]]
{{Main|April 2013}}
Like previous months, uneventful. Chris mainly stayed to his [[Facebook]] profile.

==May==
{{Main|May 2013}}
[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in May 2013.]]
This month marked the closing of [[Flipnote Hatena]], a [[Nintendo]]-run website that Chris had frequented in the past, as well as some other internet activity and leaks.

==June==
{{Main|June 2013}}
[[File:Cw3c.jpg|thumb|Chris in June 2013.]]
Another video tour of Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] is leaked, this month, among a few [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] rants from Chris.

==July==
{{Main|July 2013}}
[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg|thumb|Chris in July 2013.]]
This month saw little activity aside from a few [[July 2013 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] updates.

==August==
{{Main|August 2013}}
[[File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in August 2013.]]
More [[Facebook]] activity from Chris for the duration of the month, along with a new [[Lego]] [[Manchester High|high school]] set.

==September==
{{Main|September 2013}}
[[File:Back of Chris Chan 9-22-13.jpg|thumb|220px|Field agent observation, September 2013.]]
Again, more Facebook activity from Chris. A few photos of [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] are also leaked to the [[CWCki Forums]].

==October==
{{Main|October 2013}}
[[File:Cwc1013.png|thumb|left|Chris in a October 2013 video (a few weeks later, he would post this on youtube).]]
This month marks Chris's first realization that his former [[Gal pals|gal pals]] had been (or still are) simply being friendly with him out of pity. It also marks Chris's first video of 2013; being a recreation of his beloved [[Manchester High|high school]] in [[Lego]] form.

==November==
{{Main|November 2013}}
Chris goes on several large [[Chris and anger|rants]] followed by [[Chris and remorse|half-assed apologies]] throughout the month; mostly involving [[Megan]].

==December==
{{Main|December 2013}}
[[File:1387772451098.jpg|thumb|Chris has a Wii U?]]
A second video of [[Chris|Chris's]] [[14 Branchland Court|house]] is released on [[YouTube]], by [[Alec Benson Leary]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2013

2015-05-10T01:10:52Z

Beanmachine91:

[[File:Cwc1113.jpg|thumb|Chris in November 2013. [[Stress|Familiar expression]], as always.]]
[[File:Facebook1.jpg|thumb|In '''2013''', Chris mourned his expulsion from [[The GAMe PLACe|Heaven]].]]
'''2013''' was the fifth year of organized trolling since [[Chris]]'s discovery. However, like the [[2011|two]] [[2012|years]] before it, it began with nothing of note, ever since Chris began doing time, it remained to be seen if this ordeal (which ended in July) would finally knock some sense into him, though judging from [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|past experiences]], it seemed pretty unlikely. Indeed, as of the end of this year, Chris had learned nothing, except for feelings of betrayal and alienation that would haunt him throughout the year, and basically define it.

2013 was the first year Chris didn't upload any [[Chris and art|art]] or crafts or mention [[sex]] or his [[Chris and his Ego|grand delusions]]. He also continued not to appear in public with the [[Medallion of Fail]], and he showed more awareness of the [[trolls]]. Oddly, Chris made sporadic references to his [[Obesity|weight]], claiming that he's dropping pounds despite continuing with his unhealthy lifestyle.

However, this year is still notable as being the year where Chris' ego would cause him to become alienated with the few people he has left as "friends" (namely, Anna and the congregation of his church). It even caused him to get chastised for his attention-whoring by a well-known voice actress from [[My Little Pony]] in April. And in October, Chris discovered that his [[Manchester High School|high school]] [[gal pals]] had merely tolerated him and allowed him into their group out of pity.

Even the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] store he frequents has had enough of him - in September, an act of blatant vandalism by Chris caused him to be thrown out and banned from the store. He [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] the [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] for this incident, and went back to his pattern of publicly blaming his old "forgiven" enemies. Chris would later [[Message_for_John_Kyle|reveal]] that even his own ''family'' wants nothing to do with him or his mother - [[Cole Smithey]] didn't even invite them to his wedding in March, and ignored Chris completely when confronted by the latter on Twitter.

With the death of Bob a couple of years ago and his once-enablers getting tired of his antics, Chris is headed down a road that many have tried and failed to warn him about - one where the number of people willing to tolerate him are dwindling.

In May, an [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur account] of all of the Facebook posts made by Chris between 2012 and 2013 was revealed by Chris, shedding some light on what happened during Chris's absence since [[Bob_Chandler#Later_life_and_poor_health|the death of his father earlier in 2011]].

In August, Chris indicated that his health has taken a turn for the worse, which, when compounded with the other problems explained above, all point to one thing - The consequences of his [[exercise|sedentary lifestyle]] are finally stacking against him.

In early November, Chris uploaded his first YouTube video since 2011. In December, [[Alec Benson Leary]] leaked the [[Tour of Chris's House II]] video to the [[CWCki Forums]].

==January==
[[File:Mcdonalds.jpg|thumb|Chris in January 2013.]]
{{Main|January 2013}}
This month was a bit dull, not unlike [[2012|previous years]]. Aside from a [[McDonald's]] sighting, not much is worth noting.

==February==
{{Main|February 2013}}
This month marks Chris's 31st <s>[[Christian Love Day|love day]]</s> [[Chris's birthday|birthday]].

==March==
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in March 2013.]]
{{Main|March 2013}}
Another bland month; however, Chris's step-brother [[Cole]] is married sometime during the interval.

==April==
[[File:Haters to the left.jpg|thumb|250px|left|Chris in April 2013.]]
{{Main|April 2013}}
Like previous months, uneventful. Chris mainly stayed to his [[Facebook]] profile.

==May==
{{Main|May 2013}}
[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in May 2013.]]
This month marked the closing of [[Flipnote Hatena]], a [[Nintendo]]-run website that Chris had frequented in the past, as well as some other internet activity and leaks.

==June==
{{Main|June 2013}}
[[File:Cw3c.jpg|thumb|Chris in June 2013.]]
Another video tour of Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] is leaked, this month, among a few [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] rants from Chris.

==July==
{{Main|July 2013}}
[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg|thumb|Chris in July 2013.]]
This month saw little activity aside from a few [[July 2013 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] updates.

==August==
{{Main|August 2013}}
[[File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in August 2013.]]
More [[Facebook]] activity from Chris for the duration of the month, along with a new [[Lego]] [[Manchester High|high school]] set.

==September==
{{Main|September 2013}}
[[File:Back of Chris Chan 9-22-13.jpg|thumb|220px|Field agent observation, September 2013.]]
Again, more Facebook activity from Chris. A few photos of [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] are also leaked to the [[CWCki Forums]].

==October==
{{Main|October 2013}}
[[File:Cwc1013.png|thumb|left|Chris in a October 2013 video (a few weeks later, he would post this on youtube).]]
This month marks Chris's first realization that his former [[Gal pals|gal pals]] had been (or still are) simply being friendly with him out of pity. It also marks Chris's first video of 2013; being a recreation of his beloved [[Manchester High|high school]] in [[Lego]] form.

==November==
{{Main|November 2013}}
Chris goes on several large [[Chris and anger|rants]] followed by [[Chris and remorse|half-assed apologies]] throughout the month; mostly involving [[Megan]].

==December==
{{Main|December 2013}}
[[File:1387772451098.jpg|thumb|Chris has a Wii U?]]
A second video of [[Chris|Chris's]] [[14 Branchland Court|house]] is released on [[YouTube]], by [[Alec Benson Leary]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2013

2015-05-10T01:08:43Z

Beanmachine91:

[[File:Cwc1113.jpg|thumb|Chris in November 2013. [[Stress|Familiar expression]], as always.]]
[[File:Facebook1.jpg|thumb|In '''2013''', Chris mourned his expulsion from [[The GAMe PLACe|Heaven]].]]
'''2013''' was the fifth year of organized trolling since [[Chris]]'s discovery. However, like the [[2011|two]] [[2012|years]] before it, it began with nothing of note, ever since Chris began [[This is how the Trial went|serving out his sentence.]] For a while, it remained to be seen if this ordeal (which ended in July) would finally knock some sense into him, though judging from [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|past experiences]], it seemed pretty unlikely. Indeed, as of the end of this year, Chris had learned nothing, except for feelings of betrayal and alienation that would haunt him throughout the year, and basically define it.

2013 was the first year Chris didn't upload any [[Chris and art|art]] or crafts or mention [[sex]] or his [[Chris and his Ego|grand delusions]]. He also continued not to appear in public with the [[Medallion of Fail]], and he showed more awareness of the [[trolls]]. Oddly, Chris made sporadic references to his [[Obesity|weight]], claiming that he's dropping pounds despite continuing with his unhealthy lifestyle.

However, this year is still notable as being the year where Chris' ego would cause him to become alienated with the few people he has left as "friends" (namely, Anna and the congregation of his church). It even caused him to get chastised for his attention-whoring by a well-known voice actress from [[My Little Pony]] in April. And in October, Chris discovered that his [[Manchester High School|high school]] [[gal pals]] had merely tolerated him and allowed him into their group out of pity.

Even the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] store he frequents has had enough of him - in September, an act of blatant vandalism by Chris caused him to be thrown out and banned from the store. He [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] the [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] for this incident, and went back to his pattern of publicly blaming his old "forgiven" enemies. Chris would later [[Message_for_John_Kyle|reveal]] that even his own ''family'' wants nothing to do with him or his mother - [[Cole Smithey]] didn't even invite them to his wedding in March, and ignored Chris completely when confronted by the latter on Twitter.

With the death of Bob a couple of years ago and his once-enablers getting tired of his antics, Chris is headed down a road that many have tried and failed to warn him about - one where the number of people willing to tolerate him are dwindling.

In May, an [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur account] of all of the Facebook posts made by Chris between 2012 and 2013 was revealed by Chris, shedding some light on what happened during Chris's absence since [[Bob_Chandler#Later_life_and_poor_health|the death of his father earlier in 2011]].

In August, Chris indicated that his health has taken a turn for the worse, which, when compounded with the other problems explained above, all point to one thing - The consequences of his [[exercise|sedentary lifestyle]] are finally stacking against him.

In early November, Chris uploaded his first YouTube video since 2011. In December, [[Alec Benson Leary]] leaked the [[Tour of Chris's House II]] video to the [[CWCki Forums]].

==January==
[[File:Mcdonalds.jpg|thumb|Chris in January 2013.]]
{{Main|January 2013}}
This month was a bit dull, not unlike [[2012|previous years]]. Aside from a [[McDonald's]] sighting, not much is worth noting.

==February==
{{Main|February 2013}}
This month marks Chris's 31st <s>[[Christian Love Day|love day]]</s> [[Chris's birthday|birthday]].

==March==
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in March 2013.]]
{{Main|March 2013}}
Another bland month; however, Chris's step-brother [[Cole]] is married sometime during the interval.

==April==
[[File:Haters to the left.jpg|thumb|250px|left|Chris in April 2013.]]
{{Main|April 2013}}
Like previous months, uneventful. Chris mainly stayed to his [[Facebook]] profile.

==May==
{{Main|May 2013}}
[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in May 2013.]]
This month marked the closing of [[Flipnote Hatena]], a [[Nintendo]]-run website that Chris had frequented in the past, as well as some other internet activity and leaks.

==June==
{{Main|June 2013}}
[[File:Cw3c.jpg|thumb|Chris in June 2013.]]
Another video tour of Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] is leaked, this month, among a few [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] rants from Chris.

==July==
{{Main|July 2013}}
[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg|thumb|Chris in July 2013.]]
This month saw little activity aside from a few [[July 2013 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] updates.

==August==
{{Main|August 2013}}
[[File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in August 2013.]]
More [[Facebook]] activity from Chris for the duration of the month, along with a new [[Lego]] [[Manchester High|high school]] set.

==September==
{{Main|September 2013}}
[[File:Back of Chris Chan 9-22-13.jpg|thumb|220px|Field agent observation, September 2013.]]
Again, more Facebook activity from Chris. A few photos of [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] are also leaked to the [[CWCki Forums]].

==October==
{{Main|October 2013}}
[[File:Cwc1013.png|thumb|left|Chris in a October 2013 video (a few weeks later, he would post this on youtube).]]
This month marks Chris's first realization that his former [[Gal pals|gal pals]] had been (or still are) simply being friendly with him out of pity. It also marks Chris's first video of 2013; being a recreation of his beloved [[Manchester High|high school]] in [[Lego]] form.

==November==
{{Main|November 2013}}
Chris goes on several large [[Chris and anger|rants]] followed by [[Chris and remorse|half-assed apologies]] throughout the month; mostly involving [[Megan]].

==December==
{{Main|December 2013}}
[[File:1387772451098.jpg|thumb|Chris has a Wii U?]]
A second video of [[Chris|Chris's]] [[14 Branchland Court|house]] is released on [[YouTube]], by [[Alec Benson Leary]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Talk:Main Page

2015-05-10T01:02:10Z

Beanmachine91: /* Make a new Saga? */

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates. For other questions, please use the [http://www.cwckiforums.com/ CWCki forum].}}

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]] [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 2|2]]
==Make a new Saga?==
Even though Chris has been less active over the less couple of years, he has recently (since early March) been giving infomation about what has been happening over the last couple of years. I think we should call this a new Saga "Revalation" Saga. [[User:14recinez|14recinez]] 3:40, 14 September 2013 (EST)

the new saga is the Black Sonichu DLC saga, i posted a link to chris chan's facebook post in the news page --[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 01:02, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

==Note==
Flipnote Hatena will be shutting down May 31, 2013. Also chris 2013 article needs updating.

==Did you know..==
Some of the "Did you knows" sound really over-opinionated and A-loggy next to the A-log article of the now.

Ex. "...that Chris is a disgusting human being?", "That Chris cannot dance", I also have a personal gripe with, "...that Chris was born on 24 February, the same day the Nazi party was founded?", as it associates CWC with Nazis. [[User:Cleftpalete|Cleftpalete]] 10:18, 16 December 2012 (PST)

Did you know "Chris declared his birthday national Christian Love day? He thought this was better than Mexican Flag day which is on his birthday February 24"
[[User:MsAuntieMama|MsAuntieMama]] 10:16 May 2015 (EST)

==ohinternet==
Should we include a da update about ED and ohinternet considering their past relationship? [[Supersheep|Supersheep]] 23:38, 19 April 2011 (EST)

==Happy Sonichu Day!==

Is Sonichu 11 or 23? Also, is it possible to make the Sonichu page the now article? --[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 21:33, 16 March 2011 (PDT)

==PSN Tracker==
I have Chris on my friends list on the PSTriple.
How would I go about contributing to the PSN tracker? [[User:Dillon627|Dillon627]] 06:30, 28 January 2011 (PST)

==Protect the templates==
Seeing how the main page itself is protected, why not protect the templates as well? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:49, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*There's already cascading protection for all the front page templates. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:51, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*Stop freaking out about this spammer shit, Champ has it under control --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 16:53, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== new vid ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzAJvMKQeJA&feature=player_embedded

can't add news so there you go--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:38, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Can this be the new Quote of the Now, please?==

{{quote|I've learned... from my father; he taught and showed me which male ends go into which female ends.|Wallflower E-mails.}}

[[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 13:28, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
I'm for this too.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 02:10, 21 October 2010 (EST)

*Ironically, I vote this for today. --[[User:MissMeg|MissMeg]] 15:11, 10 September 2011 (PDT)

==I suggest this for the Video of the Now==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmFHPbaNT04 [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 07:37, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

Since there's a white space in the Video of the Now (at least on my computer) why not feature this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoqjN3amRD4
--[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 17:44, 21 October 2010 (PDT) This link is dead

== Project Map Fucking Everything ==

Started up this project and got a lot of things mapped down.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ptab=2&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=116038930500742252038.0004949e055d81dc61c0b

I'd like to get all of the places he mentions/visits/films/rapes marked down on the map, but there's a lot of videos and some of them I never wish to see again. So, it's open collaboration and anyone with a Google account can edit it. Feel free to login and mark down different areas he's visited. Just try to be logical and succinct when adding locations. Don't need every McDonald's marked down. When doing videos of him travelling, try to figure out the path with a line and mark at least one end of it.

Now, a question:
Should we make a page for the full map or just link it in the bottom of the "Locations" divs on the other pages?
-- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 13:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

*Put it on the locations template. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 13:53, 9 November 2010 (PST)
**Done. Couldn't think of a better name than Chris's World. -- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 14:11, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== Sports ==

Is there any inclination that Chris is into any kind of sport or professional sports team? I asked this on the main page because I don't know where else to ask it.
*Sign your fucking posts god damn. Also, no. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 04:18, 14 November 2010 (PST)

== Slight Error ==
Chris hasn't gone 5 days without the internet, he logged into youtube 2 1/2 days after he posted the leaving video.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 19:46, 26 November 2010 (EST)
:Probably should have discussed this before just removing the counter... [[User:Smtp|Smtp]] 17:02, 26 November 2010 (PST)
::It's a non-pedantic count. We're really focusing on how many days he's gone without making a video - which Chris equates to "being on the Internet". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:30, 26 November 2010 (PST)
:::Yeah, why is the counter back? I don't know how to re-implement that sort of thing or I would. --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 16:18, 17 December 2010 (PST)

== Vandalism? ==
Some guy named [[User:Trueandhonest]] has been going around vandalizing pages lately, claiming to be Chris-chan himself. Most likely it's a troll, but I just wanted to point that out. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 15:33, 30 November 2010 (PST)

== Does Christian Who Cares know this?==
I don't remember his surname. Does he know that the creator of Pokémon has [[aspergers]]? At least Wikipedia's article says so... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Tajiri --[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 16:21, 4 December 2010 (PST)
* It seems that you just answered your own question. As to whether or not Chris knows, I honestly don't think he even cares. He justifies things when it allows him to continue his current lifestyle. He'd probably just say "Well I guess there are some exceptions" and move on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:39, 4 December 2010 (PST)
** You're right, I should have figured that out. Theres an article about his hypocresy, but its not really necesary to read it; it takes about three seconds of reading this wiki to realize that he's the biggest of hypocrites...--[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 17:46, 4 December 2010 (PST)

==CWCki is pretty dead==
Chris isn't coming back, at least not for a long time. Despite this, there are a shitton of new editors who drop by every other day and fuck up articles. The only reason I'm really still here is to fix up the edits of these new editors. I think we should start finding the good articles on the wiki and either lock them or put a template saying not to fuck with it a la ED. As articles get fixed up, they get locked down, at least until Chris comes back (if he ever does, anyway). I get that it might take some time or whatever, but it would help preserve the CWCki should Chris never come back or I die or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:11, 11 December 2010 (PST)
*Well it was just a matter of time until he would end up in a mental hospital. I always told him so, but whatever. I agree though, that there are probably many articles, that can be protected, especially all the videos, mails, phone calls, chatlogs and whatnot.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 19:09, 12 December 2010 (PST)
::I'd push for the templating approach rather than protecting. Article protection should be used sparingly. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:00, 14 December 2010 (PST)
:::After seeing old articles being still corrected here and there, I tend to agree. Maybe this Chris-free time isn't so bad after all. Gives us time to look through all the old articles.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:51, 14 December 2010 (PST)
::::You guys have gone from reporting the antics of a potential criminal to stalking a retard. Really it's pathetic. Do we need to know about uneventful sightings at the mall or his activity on PSN? That sounds like having less of a life than Chris does. Every lolcow eventually dies down and CWC is finished. This isn't like that point when everyone thought he was done for but came back, this is it.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 18:05, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::Obviously you know something we don't. Go on, enlighten us. [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 21:08, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::First, as Champ said pretty much RIGHT below this, this page is about improving the main page exclusively. Take it to Offshore CWCki. I think your targets are probably mostly there. As far as I'm aware, the people remaining here are dedicated to the wiki, rather than devoted to coming up with new ways to stalk Chris.
::::::It's not even about concerning ourselves with how next to foil Chris' Heart-Meter. This is about the chronicling
::::::and archiving of this entire man-child's existence for the benefit and hilarity of all future new-fags
::::::--[[User:Boosegumps|Boosegumps]] 03:40, 19 January 2011 (PST)

== Sightings ==

Okay, question, as a field agent who is seeming to have multiple run ins with Chris (was the guy who took the kroger pic and I commonly see him when he comes into my work) Where should I put my sightings so I am not cluttering up the other pages? [[User:CFA|CFA]]CFA
:1. Sign posts with 4 tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) if you want to avoid typing all that shit every time.
:2. [[User:CFA/Whateverthefuck]] is usually the best place to put your stuff.
:On another note, I appreciate that CFA is the name of the guy who took that pic, but that doesn't necessarily prove that it's you. Expect people to be critical of that statement. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 01:20, 16 December 2010 (PST)

*I did sign with 4 and I posted it up on the offshore first. Secondly, I asked because there is no article on sightings. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 10:38, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Signing with 4 tildes yields a timestamp. Always. There was no timestamp. The point I was making was that yeah, the guy on offshore is called CFA. However, you just made your account here and there's nothing stopping someone other than offshore's CFA from taking the username. As a result of this, even if there were a "sightings" article, you still wouldn't be able to just dump new shit there because there's no confirmation that you are who you say you are. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:10, 16 December 2010 (PST)
*alright, then what would constituent proof for you guys? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:03, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::I'd say photos ^^ [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:01, 16 December 2010 (PST)
:*photos of what? My page on offshore or something else? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 17:56, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Gee, I don't know, maybe ''the picture you originally uploaded to Offshore CWCki''? --[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:39, 16 December 2010 (PST)
::I think the best picture to upload would be proof that you can log into CFA's account on Offshore. If you have any new pics, those work too, but I don't expect you to have to do too much work for this. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:07, 17 December 2010 (PST)
*[[Image:CFA offshore.png|300px]] [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:41, 17 December 2010 (PST)CFA

:*In the future, posts like this go in the Community Portal and not here. This discussion page strictly involves improving the main page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:33, 19 December 2010 (PST)
*My apologies [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:54, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

== Is This Chris? ==

He apparently stalked the shit out of liquid Chris therefore leading him to know his whereabouts along with his real name. So, he decided to post a video about it for some "troll busting".

Here's his channel:
[http://www.youtube.com/user/CarlosChantor]

- 06:33 (CST) January 6,2011

I doubt it. I mean, do you see him putting together such a coherent video and hacking someone's facebook. The only Chris-like thing about it is that they got the wrong one of the twins pegged as Liquid.....

ARIGOLD17 WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SIGN POSTS- 3:30 (EST) January 14, 2011

== ps3 tracker change ==

the ps3 tracker says jan.7.2010 when it should be jan.7.2011. just pointing that out. [[User:Carnival Vexillarius|Carnival Vexillarius]] 10:06, 8 January 2011 (PST)

== Shojo letters ==

[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletter.jpg]]
[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletterreply.jpg|Right]]
*Front page, y/n? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:18, 26 January 2011 (PST)CFA
<s>If it's legit I'd say front page material, I know Chris watches anime, but somehow I can't see him reading manga. I think he'd be too frustrated to figure out that you read it back to front. I think this might be a troll impersonating him</s> Never mind it says 23, so no one really knew about him, so it's probably legit.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 06:06, 1 March 2011 (PST)

== Potential Video of the Now? ==

Some pickle-related drama, brought to you by ''The Kids in the Hall''.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECAvZTcaQew

-- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 12:31 2 February 2011

*For future reference, this should go [[Template talk:Video of the now|here]]. The thing about the video is that Chris hasn't used the "pickle" euphemism, as far as I can tell, since 2008 or maybe early 2009. It's just a really out-of-date term. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:12, 2 February 2011 (PST)

== Not sure if it goes here but ==

*First, no pics (due to working at the time) but Chris came in with Rocky. But here is the thing, he was with a group of special needs folks around his age, seems Rocky has gotten him to socialize with other special needs folks, that or the strange girl he sat across from was friendly with him. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:30, 25 February 2011 (PST)CFA
:Get pics next time. No, really. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:32, 25 February 2011 (PST)
:Oh and also, this is the wrong place to do this. This is about improving the main page. Put it [[CWCki:General|here]] or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:38, 25 February 2011 (PST)
*Thanks and as for pics, it was out of the blue, did not expect to see him that day (he normally comes in on saturday between 3 and 4.)[[User:CFA|CFA]] 18:28, 27 February 2011 (PST)CFA

==Userboxes==
*Would anybody have a problem with organizing the userboxes, like Trollboxes category would contain Clyde's, Vivian's, Jack's ect. Description/identitiy boxes, like all the ones that say this user is a x, like the American, straight, hikikomori. Then like title boxes like admin, grammar nazi, ect. I could organize them, but it'd take me a while cause I'm busy during the week.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 13:11, 2 March 2011 (PST)

== da update should be first ==

ps3 tracker later, or maybe just merged. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:39, 2 March 2011 (PST)
:I spent a while messing around with it today trying to find a better way to organize it, but I couldn't figure out how to change whether something's on the right or left side of the page. I guess switching the two wouldn't be too difficult because they're in the same box. No complaints here. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 15:41, 2 March 2011 (PST)

Just rid of the ps3 tracker, it's not even no longer updated. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:41, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
:I found out how to do everything that I didn't understand, but [[User:Freecell/Main Page|what I did with it]] still looks bad. I agree that Da Update should go first (and the quote of the now shouldn't take up so much space and the News/Improvement Project should go higher), but I'm not sure it can be moved without making everything else look bad. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 04:48, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
*I personally would have Da Update be first but Clyde insists that the PSN Tracker is more important. Take your complaints to him.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:11, 20 April 2011 (PDT)

==Seriously==
*What the fuck happened yesterday? What was with the creepy girl? Why was everything 404'd, though some of the 404 pages were funny.
: Seems like the server was just down. I'm not an admin so I don't really know. But the creepy girl has always been what you see when you specifically go to cogsdev.org or sonichu.com[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 05:51, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
*I was just trying to check this site yesterday and I saw that ''thing'' instead. I can upload a pic of it, but... Was it supposed to be Little Red Riding Hood or some shit? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 09:26, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:: I JUST tried and the weird Little Girls was there and then I re-loaded the page and it was fine... dunno. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 15:43, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
::: [http://www.sonichu.com/buletta.jpg picture] Based on the filename it's supposed to be [http://capcom.wikia.com/wiki/Baby_Bonnie_Hood Buletta/B.B.Hood] from Darkstalkers. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 16:27, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:::: Y<s>eah any time I've tried to follow my bookmark link that is set up to cogsdev.org, which has ''always'' worked, mind you, it now takes me to the BB Hood image after trying to redirect to sonichu.com. In order to actually get to the site I have to google CWCKI and find a random page and then backtrack to the main page. Am I doing something horribly wrong somehow?</s> As of my having written this, it'a back to normal now. Weird. Disregard me I am a buffoon.--[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:14, 18 March 2011 (PDT)

==Ha!==
Nice touch for April Fool's [[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 07:50, 1 April 2011 (PDT)

[[Random-access humor|IT'S RAINING CHRIS! HALLELUJAH!]] Also, if I may ask, what's the code for this? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 10:29, 1 April 2011 (PDT)
*note to self, listening to shpongle and watching the spinning heads here is seriously a bad idea! [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:43, 1 April 2011 (PDT)CFA
*When are we gonna get these removed now? They were charming on April 1st but it's two days later now and they're getting kinda intrusive. [[User:Airrider1|Airrider1]] 15:35 EST
** I use [https://chrome.google.com/extensions/detail/cfhdojbkjhnklbpkdaibdccddilifddb?hl=en adblock plus]. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 12:39, 3 April 2011 (PDT)
*** [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/adblock-plus/ And for Firefox...] --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 12:57, 5 April 2011 (PDT)

== You are now aware ==

[[image:Youarenowaware.jpg|800px]]

:It could almost imply that they somehow know one another! I'm more interested in the book to the left of it. Also, sign your posts. Also, this page is about improving the main page, as you've been told before. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 04:54, 7 April 2011 (PDT)

Well, I thought it was pretty surprising. All this time, that creepy little face was staring at me and I didn't even know it. The medallion and stare really make it a winner. Maybe bring it up in the Barbara page discussion. [[User:Farm Zombie|Farm Zombie]] 12:26, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
*Sorry,did that at like, 2 am. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:38, 7 April 2011

== Remove the PSN tracker ==

Srsly. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:58, 29 April 2011 (PDT)
*Or put it under the update section. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:41, 29 April 2011 (PDT)CFA

==TOMGIRL.PNG==
May I suggest a recoloring of the hair blonde? --[[User:MissMeg|MissMeg]] 09:31, 7 May 2011 (PDT)

== Liquid Chris Article ==
The whole "MOTHERLAND CALLS!" template has been up on the [[Liquid Chris]] page for a while, even before I became a member here. Has the article been fixed, or is it still in need of refurbishing? -- [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 22:09, 7 May 2011 (PDT)
:Why are you asking this here? Try [[Talk:Liquid Chris]]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:22, 7 May 2011 (PDT)
:: The reason I asked here was because nobody has added anything new the article since March (ignoring a recent edit-revert), and nobody has done anything with the talk page since last September. I was just wondering if this should be the Improvement Project of the Now if it's gone nowhere for a while. [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 10:09, 10 May 2011 (PDT)

== An error in dating? ==

Today's "''This day in Christory''" features [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|a video from February 5th, 2009]], but today is ''June 5th''. Is this intentional? --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 10:37, 5 June 2011 (PDT)
*The video was from 5 Feb, but his CChanSonichu account was indeed hacked on 5 June. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 13:52, 5 June 2011 (PDT)

== Kim ==
Have we pulled a Wallflower on Kim? If not why doesn't she have a page, any information on her other than in passing, emails, phone calls, etc? [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 21:45, 6 June 2011 (PDT)

==Just for you==
I while ago I figured out the code for making youtube audio play in the background based on ED's code for it. I just forgot to share it with you. Its a nice touch for user pages, but I wouldn't recommend them for Cwcki articles.

ev:youtube|'''(The Stuff After watch?v=)'''&autoplay=1&loop=1&start=1" height="1" width="1" fposition="left" frame="false"

except add '''{{#''' at the beginning and '''}}''' at the end, and lose the '''(''' ''')''' parenthese

Sorry if its confusing, ask [[User:freecell|freecell]] if you need help, he or she uses it too.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 20:01, 12 July 2011 (PDT)

==No detective needed==
Okay, you don't have to be a fucking detective to tell that [[User:Youdonttellmewhattodo|Youdonttellmewhattodo]], [[User:Nothingyouneedknow|Nothingyouneedknow]], [[User:GodoftheGodsofgod|GodoftheGodsofgod]] are the same fucking person seeing as all three accounts were made four minutes between each and they've been posting stupid shit, complimenting Chris, and blanking pages. It's an idiot, troll, or hell possibly Chris. [[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 11:34, 19 July 2011 (PDT)
:I don't think they're the same people. And I checked for some of them, they're not Chris. I don't remember specifically though and I'm kind of too lazy to check again. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 08:53, 20 July 2011 (PDT)
::Ok, sat down and checked those three again. Not Chris. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 08:58, 20 July 2011 (PDT)

==New videos==
Chris just posted a couple of new videos and from the looks of it, relating to that forum that he's been posting on. --[[User:KHSilverRock|KHSilverRock]] 11:27, 6 August 2011 (PDT)
*Two more videos have gone up. --[[User:KHSilverRock|KHSilverRock]] 14:38, 9 August 2011 (PDT)
* I just posted the update but there still aren't any pages about the videos. I would but I'm really goddamn tired and I feel like shit. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 14:41, 9 August 2011 (PDT)
** It's cool, they'll get made eventually, and I can't wait, to be honest, I missed the shinagins that Chris provided in his videos. --[[User:KHSilverRock|KHSilverRock]] 14:49, 9 August 2011 (PDT)

== Earthquake ==

Think CWC was affected by the 5.9 earthquake in Virgina at 2PM?--[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] 11:17, 23 August 2011 (PDT)
:If he was, I'm sure we'll be updated. Until then, there's no way we could know. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 11:21, 23 August 2011 (PDT)

:Unless a big box of Barb's Salvation Army finds crushed him.--[[User:Shefap|Shefap]] 12:27, 23 August 2011 (PDT)
:* There's a website [http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/dyfi/events/se/082311a/us/index.html] that will tell you where people in VA are saying they felt shaking. Around where Chris lives, there were reports of little-to-no shaking felt and no damage reported. He probably heard about the earthquake, but they probably felt nothing more than a vibration. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 14:05, 23 August 2011 (PDT)

== Article of the now. ==

shouldnt the Article of the now be Bob chandler? -[[User:HitIar|HitIar "wunderbar!"]] 12:50, 10 September 2011 (PDT)
:Indeed, I think Bob's bio should be article of the now until Chris uploads his next video. Then the article of the now should be changed into [[Chris and death]], as the most important thing about the next vid will be a demonstration of how Chris reacts (if he does react at all) to the death of a parent.
::Done, hope I did it right. -[[User:HitIar|HitIar "wunderbar!"]] 14:12, 10 September 2011 (PDT)
::*In the future, please refer discuss the Article of the now on its [[Talk:Article of the now|talk page]].

==Bob CWCki logo==
I found [[:File:BobCWCkiLogo.jpg|this gem]] we used ages ago for Bob's birthday, would it be in poor taste to post it in place of the current logo, for a while? Or perhaps someone could modify it to reflect his passing? I ask because I don't want to horribly offend people.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:50, 11 September 2011 (PDT)
*I second this, but not for too long. --[[User:MissMeg|Mary Lee Walsh | All hail the dean!]] 12:46, 25 September 2011 (PDT)
*It would have been appropriate for down time, maybe as a 404 message, but now that he's passed on, it is a bit distasteful. It would have been even more offensive if you planned to do this 5 days after his death. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 16:46, 25 September 2011 (PDT)

== Chris' family tree. ==

We should expand on Chris family lineage, because Barbara's father died in an unusual way.

J.O. WESTON, OF RED OAK IS KILLED
Joseph Otto Weston, 58, a farmer, was killed late Friday when he apparently fell from his horse drawn wagon on a rural road near Red Oak Charlotte County.
Weston, of Red Oak, was hauling wood. Apparently he fell from the wagon and under a rear wheel.
His body was discovered after the driverless horse and wagon turned up at a nearby service station.
Dr. P.H. Winston, of Clarksville, medical examiner, said death was caused by a broken neck.
Surviving are his wife, Mrs. Carrie Winn Weston; five daughters, Mrs. Wilborne Bourne, of Richmond, and Mrs. Edward Carey and Misses Barbara Ann, Mabel and Harriet Weston, of Red Oak; three sons, William S. Weston, with the Navy at Norfolk, and DeRoy Lewis and Curtis Wayne Weston, of Red Oak; three brothers, Alfred Weston, of Chase City, and Daniel and Roy Weston, of Red Oak; one sister, Mrs. Mabel M. Blacklidge of Richmond, and one grandchild.
A funeral service was held at 1:30 p.m. Sunday at Antioch Baptist Church.
(Source: The Charlotte Gazette, Drakes Branch, VA, Thursday, April 14, 1955 Submitted by: Bea. Adams King)

http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html

This is the same Joesph Otto Weston that in mentioned in that Family tree.

== Edit-hiding ==

What's going on with all the edit-hiding? --[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] 10:49, 6 November 2011 (PST)
:I try to use the feature sparingly, but basically it's for the protection of users. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 10:52, 6 November 2011 (PST)

== Stop this ==

The article of now has had bob plastered on it for 2 months, it's getting old so I decided to put an underrated sonichu character onto it and don't whine to me about it being disrespectful to bob, fuck bob! --[[User:cj|cj]]
*Personally, I think Jiggliami can eat a dick. Anyways, if you really felt that we needed a new article, you could have done something that made sense like, oh I don't know, [[28 October 2011]], instead of a character that has no relevance to what is happening in Chris's life at the moment. It's not that you're being disrespectful, it's just that you need to act a little more professionally on this site, even if it is a wiki devoted to an autistic manchild. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 10:31, 10 November 2011 (PST)

== what is this? ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt-gfkWu8Bc&feature=channel_video_title

Apparently this might be chris --[[User:The0range|The0range]]
*One, sign your comments. Two, this person claims they talked to a channel called "HuaYifu" and that this person was Chris. All you would have had to do is looked at HuaYifu's channel and you would have realized this wasn't Chris. This person has NOTHING uploaded on their channel that Chris would have done, never claims to be Chris, and never talks about Sonichu or Rosechu (which would have happened if it was Chris). This is NOT Chris. I'm not even sure how these messages came to be unless HuaYifu is trolling the owner of this video... or they both were in on it. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:47, 10 December 2011 (PST)

But why is the uploader of the video so convinced it's him though? It seem so obvious that it's not him that there might be more to it... --[[User:The0range|The0range]]

==Proper usage of words where time is concerned==

I have noticed that there are many pages that refer to "a recent video" or use similar assumptive language with regards to time. We should refrain from this type of language as the cwciki, and those pages, will be around long after the word "recent" fails to apply. [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 11:35, 15 December 2011 (PST)
:I've said exactly the same thing. I change it when I see it, but it seems people take for granted that other people actually have to fix their shit. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 11:42, 15 December 2011 (PST)

== STOP FORCASTING ! ==

Ok i understand the desire to keep every page up to date but STOP FORCASTING! Do not enter anything into the wiki that WILL HAVE TO BE CHANGED at a later date. Don't put on barbs page that she has an upcoming court date, because that will have to be changed after that date happens. PLEASE dont make work for yourself and others.. [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 10:47, 16 December 2011 (PST)
:Actually, I think that one's fine because it's an article that will inevitably have to be updated. The main issue arises on articles like videos, because post-fact people will be paying attention to other things. "Current" articles have to be rewritten all the time. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 10:52, 16 December 2011 (PST)
:Event forecasting is fine on a Wiki when further information is expected within a reasonable timeframe. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:35, 16 December 2011 (PST)
:: i understand that if its on an active page then its fine, but when the forcasting is put on other pages it becomes a correctin issue. Its much better to just link to the appropriate pages and not speculate. Let the active pages do the talking while the historic data stays historic. In other words October 28th 2011 is currently the central location for court info. other pages dont need specifics until we know what the outcome is.
[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 11:41, 16 December 2011 (PST)

== Current Events ==

There aren't ant current events on the current events page. '''So either we need to get rid of it''', or we need to put 'current events' in our 'current events' so we can have 'current events' when we read the 'current events' -xzibit [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 06:09, 4 January 2012 (PST)

== Am i the only one who thinks there should be a second 'da update' type thing for significantly less important shit? ==

I'm not saying I demand this to happen, but it seems like it would be more convenient than checking recent changes for something that might possibly be new information. --[[User:Reldnahc C|I am tomgirlmanbearpig]] 20:34, 29 January 2012 (PST)
: While that's an interesting idea... anything that's "new information" is usually in da update. Anything else is usually something small, not confirmed 100%, or almost insignificant. I suppose we could have something small...but it would be getting updated quite a bit. At the moment, I think "recent changes" is probably a lot like another, smaller, da update would be... --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:03, 29 January 2012 (PST)

== Birthday Suprise ==

Chris will be turning 30 this year and that is going to have an effect on the wiki. There are places where phrases like "Even now in his late twenties" are used. This type of language is going to become outdated. Words like "twenties" "20s" and specific ages as in "at 28 years old, Chris still lives at home" will all eventually have to be changed. CARE MUST BE TAKEN when writing about time. Remember EVERYTHING is past tense and you have to assume that the reader is reading the information 10 years from now. I have mentioned time before but the whole 'turning 30' thing needs to be addressed separately.
[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 08:00, 2 February 2012 (PST)
*here is an example "There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a man that is almost thirty years old and has autism should live at home with his parents, specially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be." - This will need changing. [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 08:16, 2 February 2012 (PST)
:[[Wikipedia:WP:SOFIXIT|So fix it]]. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:55, 2 February 2012 (PST)
:*Or as we like to say here on the CWCki, [[CWCki:DOITFAGGOT|DO IT FAGGOT]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:30, 3 February 2012 (PST)
::*i am fixing what i see, just wanted others to be aware.[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 11:22, 7 February 2012 (PST)

== Revised idea ==

Maybe there should be a {{Timeline}} below "da update" on the main page, that would be pretty handy.--[[User:Reldnahc C|I am tomgirlmanbearpig]] 12:16, 5 February 2012 (PST)

That sounds like a good idea to me. [[user:poppybrolll|-~Poppybrolll~-]] 9:23, 11 February 2012 (PST)
*Sounds like a good idea to me too... i would suggest letting someone higher up the chain add it though. We just dealt with some front page vandalism (that was kinda funny BTW) but i think its a great idea [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 08:04, 17 February 2012 (PST)

== This is what chris actually believes ==

I notice this phrase attached to pictures all over the wiki. Some of the pictures are references to Chris believing that he has some sort of chance to get laid. But many are just derogatory and rude. There are times that we KNOW what Chris believes because he tells us but many times the pictures are misleading or speculative. example: the pic on the page [[Caitlin]] is an assumption and has no basis in truth. There are many examples of picture captions being downright rude and defamatory. I think its clear that none of us can stand Chris, but we should be more careful about that coming out in the wiki. The facts please, just the facts...[[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 10:45, 29 February 2012 (PST) oops

: I [[CWCki:Policy#De-memeing the CWCki|concur]]. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 05:43, 10 July 2012 (PDT)

== Another Quote of the Now Suggestion ==

Now that the details of Chris's trial has been posted, do you think his outburst about having to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills- "That thieving liar doesn't deserve a red cent!"- would be appropriate? Of course, I'm still kind of a newfag here, so ignore this if you want. I just found it amusing. [[User:Alopax|Alopax]] 02:40, 11 July 2012 (PDT)

== Suggested article: Persecution Complex ==

I think we definitely need an article about all the times Christian has claimed to suffer/endured harsh trials in his life. For example, equating pulling weeds once with a Marine carrying the dead body of his friend back, as seen in the Father Call. Said Father Call is chock full of instances of Chris claiming to have suffered to prove his worthiness, in fact. I also don't need to mention all the times he has brought up being handcuffed in school, having his attraction sign removed at college, and getting suspended at college, for that was always frequent. He also grossly exaggerated the actions of the trolls in every interaction with friends, obviously... Even in his first ever YouTube video, he makes sure to claim that he has had a rough life: "I was diagnosed with high-functional autism, and I lived a, uh, somewhat rough life. I've had an abusive babysitter at one time." --[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] 16:13, 17 August 2012 (PDT)

*: Seconded. Make sure to include the fact that he's got a legitimate reason so see his bullshit as more important than it is. Also there's a page for requesting articles. Now get to work, soldier. [[User:CaveJohnson|CaveJohnson]] 20:33, 17 August 2012 (PDT)

== Confused ==

So, what's the deal? Is this site just an ironic way of trolling him, or what? I heard this was dedicated towards supporting him from outside sources, but looking at the content, I'd say you'd either have to be trolling him using irony and sarcasm, or as stupid as Chris himself. {{unsigned|5thofjulay}}
: We're not for or against him, for most part. There's a bit of snark here and there, sure. We try to show Chris's stuff in his own words. Unfortunately for Chris, his material doesn't make him look very good. This site isn't really a troll site, just another way for Chris to troll himself. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:46, 9 November 2012 (PST)

== Forums Gone? ==

Should we mention on the main page that the forum has been deleted from the servers over at forumer? --[[User:Sparklemilhouse|Sparklemilhouse]] 15:41, 8 November 2012 (PST)
: Perhaps, if we can figure out what happened and what the following actions are. Last I checked, the forum staff was looking at their options. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:46, 9 November 2012 (PST)
: I wonder how much Our Pet Lolcow is chuckling to himself at the loss of our forums. Maybe he thinks we closed it ourselves to comply with his "apology post" on FaceBook; or maybe that one of his Curse-ya-meha-meha blasts actually worked.
:There's a temporary relief forum for the CWCki Forums: http://spergcityzone.forumer.com/index.php [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 22:51, 11 November 2012 (PST)

== Forums gone....again? ==

The most recent forums appear to be gone. Is everything okay, or was it closed due to some of the conflicts between certain users and mods/management? - [[User:I Be Bobby Boulders|I Be Bobby Boulders]] 10:52, 30 January 2013 (EST)
Can we make the forums ''not'' forumer this time? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 09:53, 30 January 2013 (PST)

Eagerly awaiting the forum's next incarnation. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 10:47, 30 January 2013 (PST)

Ditto. - [[User:Aiko-chan|Aiko-chan]] 15:31, 30 January 2013 (PST)
:We received a Chatzy screencap a while ago that proves that the people we banned planned to TOS the forum because nobody is allowed to have fun if they can't. Don't know if they actually were responsible, but that's the information we have. I didn't save the screencap, but I'm sure someone has it. I'm hoping that we'll have something substantial up within a couple days. We're just waiting on a couple email responses first. And it definitely won't be Forumer. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 17:10, 30 January 2013 (PST)

That was on the first day of the banning, and they settled down, so I doubt they did anything rash. Plus I've been talking to them almost every day, and they dropped it shortly after that day. The thing is that their forum was TOS'd at the same time ours was, so I'm assuming whoever did it reported both forums, and I highly doubt they'd TOS their own forum.--[[User:Someguywithnoname|Someguywithnoname]] 18:08, 30 January 2013 (PST)
:Yeah, this. There was some talk of going after champ's forum after the permaban of several people for trying to have something done about a crime committed by one of the mods, but it was dropped as a bad idea before leaving the brainstorming stage. Whoever TOSed either or both forums may have gotten the idea from such talk (and/or, more likely, simply from the predecessor forum having been TOSed before). [[User:SpergingAnarchistBagel|SpergingAnarchistBagel]] 12:14, 31 January 2013 (PST)

:They probably nuked both forums after they realized that A. They weren't going to be allowed back into the real one and B. Not very many people were going to defect to theirs. So they employed the Samson option. --[[User:Holdek|Holdek]] 10:40, 31 January 2013 (PST)
::That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard lately. At least half to two-thirds of the regulars from spergcityzone had "defected" to spergcentral by the time it was TOSed (basically everyone except for those who didn't try to access either forum during the short interval between the TOSings). Why on earth would anyone involved in running spergcentral TOS their own forum when it was pretty much already established as the successor to spergcityzone? If I had to guess I would guess that punchabunch TOSed both forums to try to get them to blame each other for it, given that they went down within 24 hours of one another and given his enthusiastic talk of "forum war". But there isn't really any way of knowing. At any rate, there's probably some troll who wanted to fuck around with both forums. [[User:SpergingAnarchistBagel|SpergingAnarchistBagel]] 12:14, 31 January 2013 (PST)

:::[MOVED RESPONSE TO RELIEF FORUMS]--[[User:Holdek|Holdek]] 13:13, 31 January 2013 (PST)

I'm currently creating a new CWCki Forums which is not under forumer. I'll let you know if it's ready. [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 18:42, 30 January 2013 (PST)

It's done! First time creating a forum, so give me some tips and suggestions about it. http://alanpardewcwc.forumms.net/ [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 21:01, 30 January 2013 (PST)

I just checked my email, and brooklyn sent an email to everyone who shared their email on the last board saying that the new permanent board should be up by this weekend/early next week. [[User:Aiko-chan|Aiko-chan]] 21:49, 30 January 2013 (PST)

Well, at least we'll have a backup forum in case something happens.[[User:Saney|Saney]] 21:53, 30 January 2013 (PST)

The permanent board is coming soon? Great. I'll update the link later when it is up. [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 22:25, 30 January 2013 (PST)

== Photo of rental house ==

Surely the photo of the front of the rental house Charb are staying in should be the photo of the now. EXIF data stripped, of course. --[[User:Shutupman|Shutupman]] ([[User talk:Shutupman|talk]]) 02:28, 4 May 2014 (UTC)

* I'm working on it. [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] ([[User talk:Alan Pardew|talk]]) 10:05, 5 May 2014 (UTC)
:: Cheers! That house sure looks spooky. --[[User:Shutupman|Shutupman]] ([[User talk:Shutupman|talk]]) 11:44, 5 May 2014 (UTC)

== Lego Wishlist ==

Exactly how much is Chris' NEED list worth? What about his WANT list?
At the same time, he's selling items that should have sentimental value to him to pay the bills.
This def needs some looking in to!
--[[User:Shutupman|Shutupman]] ([[User talk:Shutupman|talk]]) 05:07, 31 May 2014 (UTC)
* I decided to take this task on myself. Still weeding my way through ebay to find the lowest prices for each set, but suffice it to say, the tally is HIGH! --[[User:Shutupman|Shutupman]] ([[User talk:Shutupman|talk]]) 18:27, 2 June 2014 (UTC)
**The grand total for what Chris is begging for in Legos alone is ~$4800 --[[User:Shutupman|Shutupman]] ([[User talk:Shutupman|talk]]) 19:14, 2 June 2014 (UTC)

== QOTN ==

"The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of profit."

**This needs to be on the front page because Chris is saying that his drawing he drew to sell online wasn't meant for profit.
These are disparaging statements. One cannot draw something with the intent of selling it and say they didn't intend any personal profit.
I'd put this on the forums, but null can't take jokes.--[[User:Shutupman|Shutupman]] ([[User talk:Shutupman|talk]]) 20:03, 2 June 2014 (UTC)

*** The total list rounds out to just over to $4800 for the lego sets Chris wants. He no doubt deserves them... lol --[[User:Shutupman|Shutupman]] ([[User talk:Shutupman|talk]]) 22:17, 2 June 2014 (UTC)

*** Going to. [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] ([[User talk:Alan Pardew|talk]]) 14:23, 16 June 2014 (UTC)

== PSN Tracker ==

I feel like this is kinda taking up valuable real estate on the front page. Anyone opposed to removing it? I was pretty much against it from day one, it's been on the front page mostly to appease [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] but he's long gone. Not sure what to do with the extra space. I'd say to post his most recent Facebook posts but well, recent events suggest that probably won't be happening. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] ([[User talk:Champthom|talk]]) 09:42, 31 December 2014 (UTC)

*I'm all for a section on Facebook posts, but, as you said, it's possible we'll be seeing a lot less of those. Either way, the PSN tracker needs to go. [[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 10:41, 31 December

* I dunno. I always kinda liked it. A constant reminder of how much money he wastes. [[User:Sweet and Savoury|Sweet and Savoury]] ([[User talk:Sweet and Savoury|talk]]) 12:06, 11 January 2015 (UTC)

== refer Chris as a female with female pronouns =

==Article of the Now change?==

So since the article about the Gamestop incident is getting old, why not replace it with this recent page about the documentary for Chris Chan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXjnakAlF-s)

== Many MediaFire Links are Broken ==

Hello, so all across the wiki are broken Mediafire links, and it's pretty bad. Is there any way that these links could be repaired by reuploading the appropriate files so that the public can download them? By the way, I've reuploaded a lot of Chris material on the Internet Archive (including two YouTube videos blocked off in the U.S.): https://archive.org/search.php?query=subject%3A%22christian+weston+chandler%22. I could upload the material (or you guys can) on to the Internet Archive, where they try to preserve anything that is digital. [[User:Letter Z|Letter Z]] ([[User talk:Letter Z|talk]]) 22:08, 6 March 2015 (UTC)

List of Chris's lies

2015-05-09T17:30:48Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article was deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]],frequently casting away personal responsibilities, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "a pathological liar".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that appears to be convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his [[Autism|actions]] (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|true and honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid trouble and/or offending people. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his aversion to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic|brain]] that it is okay to lie in order to save himself, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|true and honest]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the cookie jar while denying trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has called him out on his bullshit, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claims that Patti's dog house weighs "[[Father Call|like, five, ten tons]]". In the same call he claimed that mowing the lawn was a demanding physical chore for him, despite using a riding lawnmower to do it.
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite consenting to the photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone. However, it may very well be that Chris considers such behavior to be inherent in austistic individuals (and is therefore excusable/not his responsibility).
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when in fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds.
* When Catherine said no to a relationship with Chris, Chris told her that [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|he was entitled to a relationship]]. In a [[Catherine_E-mails#Re:_Well.2C_that.27s_nypical|later e-mail]] ''(presumably after being called on his bullshit)'', he claimed he said no such thing. On that note, he also publicly referred to her as his "girlfriend" for months, despite Catie saying to him point-blank that their outings were not dates.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2015-05-09T17:27:17Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article was deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]],frequently casting away personal responsibilities, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "a pathological liar".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that appears to be convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his [[Autism|actions]] (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|true and honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid trouble and/or offending people. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his aversion to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic|brain]] that it is okay to lie in order to save himself, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|true and honest]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the cookie jar while denying trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has called him out on his bullshit, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claims that Patti's dog house weighs "[[Father Call|like, five, ten tons]]". In the same call he claimed that mowing the lawn was a demanding physical chore for him, despite using a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawnmower]] to do it.
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone. However, it may very well be that Chris considers such behavior to be inherent in austistic individuals (and is therefore excusable/not his responsibility).
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when in fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds.
* When Catherine said no to a relationship with Chris, Chris told her that [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|he was entitled to a relationship]]. In a [[Catherine_E-mails#Re:_Well.2C_that.27s_nypical|later e-mail]] ''(presumably after being called on his bullshit)'', he claimed he said no such thing. On that note, he also publicly referred to her as his "girlfriend" for months, despite Catie saying to him point-blank that their outings were not dates.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2015-05-09T17:21:16Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article was deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]],frequently casting away personal responsibilities, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "a pathological liar".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that appears to be convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his [[Autism|actions]] (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid trouble and/or offending people. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his aversion to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic|brain]] that it is okay to lie in order to save himself, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claims that Patti's dog house weighs "[[Father Call|like, five, ten tons]]". In the same call he claimed that mowing the lawn was a demanding physical chore for him, despite using a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawnmower]] to do it.
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone. However, it may very well be that Chris considers such behavior to be inherent in austistic individuals (and is therefore excusable/not his responsibility).
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when in fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds.
* When Catherine said no to a relationship with Chris, Chris told her that [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|he was entitled to a relationship]]. In a [[Catherine_E-mails#Re:_Well.2C_that.27s_nypical|later e-mail]] ''(presumably after being called on his bullshit)'', he claimed he said no such thing. On that note, he also publicly referred to her as his "girlfriend" for months, despite Catie saying to him point-blank that their outings were not dates.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2015-05-09T17:18:39Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article was deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], casting away personal responsibilities, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "a pathological liar".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that appears to be convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his [[Autism|actions]] (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid trouble and/or offending people. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his aversion to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic|brain]] that it is okay to lie in order to save himself, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claims that Patti's dog house weighs "[[Father Call|like, five, ten tons]]". In the same call he claimed that mowing the lawn was a demanding physical chore for him, despite using a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawnmower]] to do it.
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone. However, it may very well be that Chris considers such behavior to be inherent in austistic individuals (and is therefore excusable/not his responsibility).
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when in fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds.
* When Catherine said no to a relationship with Chris, Chris told her that [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|he was entitled to a relationship]]. In a [[Catherine_E-mails#Re:_Well.2C_that.27s_nypical|later e-mail]] ''(presumably after being called on his bullshit)'', he claimed he said no such thing. On that note, he also publicly referred to her as his "girlfriend" for months, despite Catie saying to him point-blank that their outings were not dates.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2015-05-09T17:17:58Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article was deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], casting away personal responsibilities, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that appears to be convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his [[Autism|actions]] (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid trouble and/or offending people. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his aversion to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic|brain]] that it is okay to lie in order to save himself, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claims that Patti's dog house weighs "[[Father Call|like, five, ten tons]]". In the same call he claimed that mowing the lawn was a demanding physical chore for him, despite using a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawnmower]] to do it.
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone. However, it may very well be that Chris considers such behavior to be inherent in austistic individuals (and is therefore excusable/not his responsibility).
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when in fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds.
* When Catherine said no to a relationship with Chris, Chris told her that [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|he was entitled to a relationship]]. In a [[Catherine_E-mails#Re:_Well.2C_that.27s_nypical|later e-mail]] ''(presumably after being called on his bullshit)'', he claimed he said no such thing. On that note, he also publicly referred to her as his "girlfriend" for months, despite Catie saying to him point-blank that their outings were not dates.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

Honest Content

2015-05-09T17:13:00Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Honest}}
{{quote|WHAT WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION|[[BILLY MAYS]]'s [[IRC (20 January 2009)|reaction to learning]] of [[Chris]]'s [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], effectively summarizing Honest Content.}}

'''Honest Content''' refers to the way Chris believes that, in order to be "honest," you must give away excessive amounts personal information about yourself.

While honesty may be the best policy, Chris has a poor grasp of what honesty is or when it's inappropriate to be "honest." Worse still, he seems to think the only way to attract a woman is to be 100% honest.

However, Chris will usually not be honest about things that actually warrant it, like how he honestly didn't really go on a date with a girl named [[Chloe]] or [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|that he was honestly fooled by trolls]] or how he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|honestly never went to Redmond]]. Likewise, according to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> Chris never told him anything, suggesting that he was not honest with his own father.

==Origin==
[[File:SchuComic10P97.jpg|thumb|Rated M for....you know it already.]]

The term "Honest Content" is derived from Chris's [[DVD]] which has a parental advisory for "Very Honest Content", despite said content being harmless and far tamer than his [[Fanta|other certain works]].

Likewise, it appears as a content descriptor in the ESRB rating for ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''. This fictional [[video game]]'s Honest Content is apparently enough to earn it an M rating (for users 17 and older).

==Honesty==
Upon meeting you, Chris will be happy to "honestly" discuss his:

*[[Heterochromia]]
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Fecal incontinence]] (and his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s [[Jackie E-mails 24|bowel movements as well]])
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Autism]]
*[[Noviophobia|created phobias]]
*[[Semen|Recycling]]
*[[Donald Duck impersonation]]
*[[Anne Boleyn|Genealogy]]
*[[Mass debating|Masturbation methods]]
*[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Need to]] [[Brassieres For Males|wear a]] [[bra]]
*[[Sonic Boom Protests|Hatred for Blarms]]

His honesty, however, isn't limited to the horrible, but also the insane. When mentioning his [[Christopher's name change|name-change]], he always credits both [[Chris and religion|God]] and [[The Bear]]. Similarly, when talking about Sonic being his childhood hero he always clarifies that his hero was originally The [[American Rabbit]]. Whether or not he thinks he'll hurt the Rabbit's feelings if he doesn't make that distinction is unknown, though judging by the quite [[Alec Benson Leary calls|illuminating conversations Chris had with Alec]] it's entirely possible, since Chris believes that [[Chris and reality|all fiction characters are "real"]] to some degree.

Despite being candid about just about every little personal aspect, including addresses and phone numbers, Chris will rage at you for supposedly stealing "private" information that [[Chris and hypocrisy|he himself has disclosed]].

==True and Honest==
"True and honest" (or "TRUE and HONEST" for added impact) is a common catchphrase among trolls, usually used to describe something that isn't the least bit honest or true. Chris first used it with reference to his love for [[PandaHalo]], and it was often used by [[Liquid Chris]].

*In a drawing for PandaHalo of 24 September [[2008]], he (as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]) signs a "Certificate of True, Honest Love" in his own blood, and gives it to Panda.<ref>[[:File:Me and Panda Bear by SonichuSite.jpg]]</ref>
*On the [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]], in an entry from 25 September 2008, Chris talked about his would-be sweetheart [[PandaHalo]], saying, "I know she is True and Honest from her voice...SHE IS NOT A TROLL; SO DO NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE OR FRAME HER."
*In [[Mumble 9]], Chris said of his gal-pals: ''"I was very happy that day when I felt such respect when I felt the true honest respect of them."''
*In the extended version of [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris says, "I am NOT a troll to any of the other True and Honest people out there."
*During one of his [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE|phone conversations]] with Liquid in August 2009, Chris declared, "I am the true, honest voice of reason here, I am being the- I am the true, honest one here."
*On 22 August 2009, in the comment to the video [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]], Chris wrote "Thank you to all my True, Loyal Honest Fans for giving me RESPECT."
*In a 24 August 2009 [[CWC Blog]] post, Chris wrote "I wish to make a few points of Honest Truth here," and mentioned "all Honest, True People."
*In [[For Chris]], a video from the Liquid dispute dated 22 October 2009, Chris talked about his infamous honesty: "I like sharing my honest feelings with other people because they're good feelings, most of the time. And more importantly they are true and honest feelings. SO THERE."
*In the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], from November 2009, after being caught up in lie a half-sobbing Chris said, "I have not been lying to anybody! I have been honest and true." telling one lie after another

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's lies]]
*[[Chris and censorship]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Honest Content

2015-05-09T17:08:07Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Honest}}
{{quote|WHAT WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION|[[BILLY MAYS]]'s [[IRC (20 January 2009)|reaction to learning]] of [[Chris]]'s [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], effectively summarizing Honest Content.}}

'''Honest Content''' refers to the way Chris believes that, in order to be "honest," you must give away excessive amounts personal information about yourself.

While honesty may be the best policy, Chris has a poor grasp of what honesty is or when it's inappropriate to be "honest." Worse still, he seems to think the only way to attract a woman is to be 100% honest.

However, Chris will usually not be honest about things that actually warrant it, like how he honestly didn't really go on a date with a girl named [[Chloe]] or [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|that he was honestly fooled by trolls]] or how he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|honestly never went to Redmond]]. Likewise, according to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> Chris never told him anything, suggesting that he was not honest with his own father.

==Origin==
[[File:SchuComic10P97.jpg|thumb|Rated M for....you know it already.]]

The term "Honest Content" is derived from Chris's [[DVD]] which has a parental advisory for "Very Honest Content", despite said content being harmless and far tamer than his [[Fanta|other certain works]].

Likewise, it appears as a content descriptor in the ESRB rating for ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''. This fictional [[video game]]'s Honest Content is apparently enough to earn it an M rating (for users 17 and older).

==Honesty==
Upon meeting you, Chris will be happy to "honestly" discuss his:

*[[Heterochromia]]
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Fecal incontinence]] (and his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s [[Jackie E-mails 24|bowel movements as well]])
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Autism]]
*[[Noviophobia|Invented phobias]]
*[[Semen|Recycling]]
*[[Donald Duck impersonation]]
*[[Anne Boleyn|Genealogy]]
*[[Mass debating|Masturbation habits]]
*[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Need to]] [[Brassieres For Males|wear a]] [[bra]]
*[[Sonic Boom Protests|Hatred for blarms]]

His honesty, however, isn't limited to the horrible, but also the insane. When mentioning his [[Christopher's name change|name-change]], he always credits both [[Chris and religion|God]] and [[The Bear]]. Similarly, when talking about Sonic being his childhood hero he always clarifies that his hero was originally The [[American Rabbit]]. Whether or not he thinks he'll hurt the Rabbit's feelings if he doesn't make that distinction is unknown, though judging by the quite [[Alec Benson Leary calls|illuminating conversations Chris had with Alec]] it's entirely possible, since Chris believes that [[Chris and reality|all fiction characters are "real"]] to some degree.

Despite being candid about just about every little personal aspect, including addresses and phone numbers, Chris will rage at you for supposedly stealing "private" information that [[Chris and hypocrisy|he himself has disclosed]].

==True and Honest==
"True and honest" (or "TRUE and HONEST" for added impact) is a common catchphrase among trolls, usually used to describe something that isn't the least bit honest or true. Chris first used it with reference to his love for [[PandaHalo]], and it was often used by [[Liquid Chris]].

*In a drawing for PandaHalo of 24 September [[2008]], he (as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]) signs a "Certificate of True, Honest Love" in his own blood, and gives it to Panda.<ref>[[:File:Me and Panda Bear by SonichuSite.jpg]]</ref>
*On the [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]], in an entry from 25 September 2008, Chris talked about his would-be sweetheart [[PandaHalo]], saying, "I know she is True and Honest from her voice...SHE IS NOT A TROLL; SO DO NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE OR FRAME HER."
*In [[Mumble 9]], Chris said of his gal-pals: ''"I was very happy that day when I felt such respect when I felt the true honest respect of them."''
*In the extended version of [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris says, "I am NOT a troll to any of the other True and Honest people out there."
*During one of his [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE|phone conversations]] with Liquid in August 2009, Chris declared, "I am the true, honest voice of reason here, I am being the- I am the true, honest one here."
*On 22 August 2009, in the comment to the video [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]], Chris wrote "Thank you to all my True, Loyal Honest Fans for giving me RESPECT."
*In a 24 August 2009 [[CWC Blog]] post, Chris wrote "I wish to make a few points of Honest Truth here," and mentioned "all Honest, True People."
*In [[For Chris]], a video from the Liquid dispute dated 22 October 2009, Chris talked about his infamous honesty: "I like sharing my honest feelings with other people because they're good feelings, most of the time. And more importantly they are true and honest feelings. SO THERE."
*In the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], from November 2009, after being caught up in lie after lie after lie, a half-sobbing Chris said, "I have not been lying to anybody! I have been honest and true."

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's lies]]
*[[Chris and censorship]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Honest Content

2015-05-09T17:07:48Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Honest}}
{{quote|WHAT WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION|[[BILLY MAYS]]'s [[IRC (20 January 2009)|reaction to learning]] of [[Chris]]'s [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], effectively summarizing Honest Content.}}

'''Honest Content''' refers to the way Chris believes that, in order to be "honest," you must give away excessive personal information about yourself.

While honesty may be the best policy, Chris has a poor grasp of what honesty is or when it's inappropriate to be "honest." Worse still, he seems to think the only way to attract a woman is to be 100% honest.

However, Chris will usually not be honest about things that actually warrant it, like how he honestly didn't really go on a date with a girl named [[Chloe]] or [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|that he was honestly fooled by trolls]] or how he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|honestly never went to Redmond]]. Likewise, according to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> Chris never told him anything, suggesting that he was not honest with his own father.

==Origin==
[[File:SchuComic10P97.jpg|thumb|Rated M for....you know it already.]]

The term "Honest Content" is derived from Chris's [[DVD]] which has a parental advisory for "Very Honest Content", despite said content being harmless and far tamer than his [[Fanta|other certain works]].

Likewise, it appears as a content descriptor in the ESRB rating for ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''. This fictional [[video game]]'s Honest Content is apparently enough to earn it an M rating (for users 17 and older).

==Honesty==
Upon meeting you, Chris will be happy to "honestly" discuss his:

*[[Heterochromia]]
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Fecal incontinence]] (and his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s [[Jackie E-mails 24|bowel movements as well]])
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Autism]]
*[[Noviophobia|Invented phobias]]
*[[Semen|Recycling]]
*[[Donald Duck impersonation]]
*[[Anne Boleyn|Genealogy]]
*[[Mass debating|Masturbation habits]]
*[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Need to]] [[Brassieres For Males|wear a]] [[bra]]
*[[Sonic Boom Protests|Hatred for blarms]]

His honesty, however, isn't limited to the horrible, but also the insane. When mentioning his [[Christopher's name change|name-change]], he always credits both [[Chris and religion|God]] and [[The Bear]]. Similarly, when talking about Sonic being his childhood hero he always clarifies that his hero was originally The [[American Rabbit]]. Whether or not he thinks he'll hurt the Rabbit's feelings if he doesn't make that distinction is unknown, though judging by the quite [[Alec Benson Leary calls|illuminating conversations Chris had with Alec]] it's entirely possible, since Chris believes that [[Chris and reality|all fiction characters are "real"]] to some degree.

Despite being candid about just about every little personal aspect, including addresses and phone numbers, Chris will rage at you for supposedly stealing "private" information that [[Chris and hypocrisy|he himself has disclosed]].

==True and Honest==
"True and honest" (or "TRUE and HONEST" for added impact) is a common catchphrase among trolls, usually used to describe something that isn't the least bit honest or true. Chris first used it with reference to his love for [[PandaHalo]], and it was often used by [[Liquid Chris]].

*In a drawing for PandaHalo of 24 September [[2008]], he (as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]) signs a "Certificate of True, Honest Love" in his own blood, and gives it to Panda.<ref>[[:File:Me and Panda Bear by SonichuSite.jpg]]</ref>
*On the [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]], in an entry from 25 September 2008, Chris talked about his would-be sweetheart [[PandaHalo]], saying, "I know she is True and Honest from her voice...SHE IS NOT A TROLL; SO DO NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE OR FRAME HER."
*In [[Mumble 9]], Chris said of his gal-pals: ''"I was very happy that day when I felt such respect when I felt the true honest respect of them."''
*In the extended version of [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris says, "I am NOT a troll to any of the other True and Honest people out there."
*During one of his [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE|phone conversations]] with Liquid in August 2009, Chris declared, "I am the true, honest voice of reason here, I am being the- I am the true, honest one here."
*On 22 August 2009, in the comment to the video [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]], Chris wrote "Thank you to all my True, Loyal Honest Fans for giving me RESPECT."
*In a 24 August 2009 [[CWC Blog]] post, Chris wrote "I wish to make a few points of Honest Truth here," and mentioned "all Honest, True People."
*In [[For Chris]], a video from the Liquid dispute dated 22 October 2009, Chris talked about his infamous honesty: "I like sharing my honest feelings with other people because they're good feelings, most of the time. And more importantly they are true and honest feelings. SO THERE."
*In the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], from November 2009, after being caught up in lie after lie after lie, a half-sobbing Chris said, "I have not been lying to anybody! I have been honest and true."

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's lies]]
*[[Chris and censorship]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

26 December 2014

2015-05-09T17:00:09Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ugh!!! I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!|[[Chris]]'s justification for his actions.}}
{{clear}}
[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|A [[wikipedia:Orange Is the New Black|hit new]] show [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|rocking]] the [[Netflix]] [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

'''26 December 2014''' was an infamous day in Chris's life, and the most action packed since he [[Graduation|graduated high school]]. Essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again, Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]] once more for [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] at [[The GAMe PLACe|a video game store]], this time with pepper spray<ref>[https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1424389574456&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Virginia general court records]</ref>. He is presently being charged by the Albemarle General District Court of Virginia with "illegal use of tear gas"<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-312]</ref>--a Class 6 felony for which Virginia sentencing guidelines recommend 1-5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2,500<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM]</ref> if convicted. The situation for Chris is worsened by the fact that, unlike his vehicular assault on Michael Snyder in 2011, this time the actual assault was caught on camera and posted to [[YouTube]], where it became viral and will surely be available as proof to the state prosecutors.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===
[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris, seconds before the assault.]]

Chris's trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] with pepper spray on the chest, on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, clad in full [[tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking at least 2 separate laws in 1 visit to his local GameStop outlet.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with the intention of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalizing their ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise]] (staff claimed he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) although Chris himself claimed it was because he'd seen some ''Skylanders'' shit he wanted and therefore [[Chris and reality|unilaterally decided that his ban didn't apply because he was there to buy something]]. Whatever the truth, he entered the store wearing a pair of purple [[My Little Pony]]-[[Chris and brand loyalty|branded]] [[Chris and fashion|sunglasses intended for little girls]] (something that even bronies wouldn't wear) as a "[[Honor roll|disguise]]". Needless to say, he was immediately recognized by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalize the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the ''Sonic Boom'' games before leaving, although it's unlikely, given that he wasn't charged with vandalism or anything similar. Either way, he eventually strode out, as seen in the video, commanding the staff "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he brandished a pink can of mace, and sprayed the Assistant Manager (or "[[CWCism|Ass Manager]]", as Chris would later call him) James Herring, who was later confirmed to be unharmed. Despite the commotion, the store did not close, although Mr Herring left soon after Chris.

The clip of Chris became a minor viral hit, earning over 195,911 views as of 5 January 2015. It is one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|the 1993 contest video]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|CWC-Tok]], the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]], and [[Madman Rising]].

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris returned to his car and left the mall. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking [[Kaka Makeup Basics|JCPenney]] and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also managed to contact Barbara, who had been eating at the mall with Chris, which also implies he left his elderly mother behind, without a car to get home. Barb had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car. Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day, and probably at [[Rental House|home]], or at least on the way home. For more details, observers were forced to await Chris's inevitable account on Facebook when he was released on bond, although little else was gleaned from his incoherent rambling (which can be read below), except him meeting the expectation that [[Sub-episodes|he'd twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] so he could get sympathy out of his [[white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of [[Kiwi Farms]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for 2 days by this point.

===Aftermath===
[[File:Cwc_arrest_record.png|thumb|left|Chris's court records]]

A followup call from a [[4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that Herring will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of 28 October 2011. Chris is presently being charged by the Albemarle General District Court of Virginia with "illegal use of tear gas", a Class 6 felony for which Virginia sentencing guidelines recommend 1-5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2,500 if convicted, along with all the other corresponding losses he'd experience as a registered felon.

Interestingly enough, Chris is being charged with the 6th Degree version under the Virginia tear gas law, which the code states is for cases in which the tear gassing was done "unlawfully, but not maliciously". This lesser charge was clearly intended for cases of neglect, negligence or stupidity which resulted in somebody innocent getting tear gassed accidentally; for the cops to book him on the lesser charge suggests that they believe at least some version of Chris's story about "spritzing a miniscule amount downward, NOT into his face" as he fearfully made his escape, or at least that they recognize that Chris [[Chris and psychology|isn't all there]]. Unfortunately for Chris, the video taken of the incident clearly shows him intentionally spraying Herring (who was not obstructing him or offering him resistance) in the upper chest area as he angrily exited the store. This suggests that once the prosecutor gets a look at the video, the charge might be upgraded to the Class 3 felony version of the charge, which carries a much stiffer penalty of 5-20 years and up to a $100,000 fine. A lot will depend upon whether or not it can be proved Herring was "injured" by the pepper spray, which is an element of both felony charges; if not, Chris will likely be allowed to plea down to misdemeanor-level assault and battery and be given a suspended sentence with probation, counseling, anger management and community service in lieu of jail time.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative is out of the question. Chris also cannot bank on his victim asking the court to downgrade the crime from a felony to a misdemeanor, as Mike did after the 28 October 2011 incident. Given the less-than-rousing success of previous attempts by the judicial system to alter Chris' behavior, anything short of rigorously enforced probation and a monitored psychological day program is likely going to result in failure. Worrying, even short term jail stints don't appear to bother Chris all that much anymore, certainly not enough to give him perspective as to why trespassing, vandalism and macing employees in a mall are unacceptable behaviors that society will put him in jail to prevent him from doing.

[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.]]

With estimates for Chris's sentence ranging from minor community service to 5 years in prison, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[tugboat]], perhaps [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Considering his very unsound mental state, it is very possible that he will be forced to receive therapy (rather than an evaluation simply to see whether he was a threat to society, like in 2011), something many are [[Chris and psychology|hoping for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has had to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off quite easily. Examples include his parents rushing to his defense (even awakening in the middle of the night to blast trolls on the phone) whenever his actions land him into trouble with anyone, Mike magnanimously deciding to drop felony charges for Chris after 28 October 2011, not to mention he avoided any serious community service, and Kiwi Farms users, of all people, putting together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]]. Moreover, for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's white knights have consistently coddled him, humored his foolish mercantile ventures and fed his already-gigantic ego, and not a single white knight spoke harshly to him, even while condemning his actions, when he got home ''from jail''. This would all be well and good if Chris could recognize that he should be grateful for his narrow escapes, and take measures to avoid landing in situations like this in the first place. However, since Chris is incapable of introspection, it has instead simply gotten to the point that he [[Chris and his Ego|just expects to be bailed out, or otherwise rescued from the consequences of his own actions]].

On 29 December, it was confirmed that Chris had posted the $2500 bail and left jail. Barb was probably the donor, once again abluting Chris of consequences.

On 3 [[January 2015]], an e-mail leaked onto Kiwi Farms revealed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at [[Wal-Mart]] and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed to be true by Chris himself, and indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "badass". This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceives himself as invincible as long he can threaten to mace his antagonists. Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability has previously been generally confined to the comics, but owing to the ever-growing chasm separating him from reality it may have seeped into his conscious psyche.

Chris's hatred for ''Sonic Boom'' is also escalating horribly even after this, as well. On 30 [[January 2015]], it was revealed that Chris is sending threats of glitter bombing (or, what he thinks is glitter bombing) to Sega of America headquarters.

All things considered, it's doubtful that Chris will learn anything whatsoever from his impending punishment, however harsh it may be. It will more likely simply resuscitate his old grudge against [[Jerkop|police officers]] and retail workers, which in turn will distort his perspective on the real world even further.

===Subsequent court hearings===
After his video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the next hearing), Chris was released on a bond and promptly took to Facebook to decry this injustice and counter troll speculation, the result of which can be seen below. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge placed a restraining order on Chris as part of his bail conditions, forbidding him from setting foot in any local GameStop or contacting any of the company's employees.

His next hearing took place on 5 February. It was decidedly brief as the Chandlers appeared to have hired/been assigned an unsuitable representative, and another hearing in April was scheduled. According to two Virginian Christorians in attendance, little of note happened except Chris and Barb forgetting the date of the next hearing, then pissing off the court by coming back to ask (thus holding up their next case). Additionally, footage was taken of Chris and Barb leaving court--marking the first appearance Barb has made in Christorical media for almost two years.

The subsequent hearing took place on 2 April; Chris attended alone, and reportedly seemed more nervous than in the previous hearing. It began 20 minutes early and was over within minutes; in fact Chris left before Christorians made it through security, so no one knows what actually happened inside. What is known is that Chris was granted another continuance and the next hearing was scheduled for 7 May. If the legal proceedings of Chris's previous misadventure are any indication, the actual trial may not take place until August or September 2015.

True to this prediction, the hearing on 7 May resulted in another continuance, until 11 June, although the hearing reportedly lasted longer than the one on 2 April.<ref>https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1431012950495&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003</ref> Chris was also seen at [[McDonalds]] before attending, again.

== Chris's side of the story ==
{{quote|I WAS the Victim|Chris, meeting everyone's expectations}}

As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of his misadventures. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident--aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident--and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[trolls|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in hot water if the prosecution sees his (publicly accessible) profile. Even his white knights, if not harsh, seem condemnatory of his actions. It seems that this time around, everyone is against him.

In this illuminating tract, Chris rambles on and on, continually shooting himself in the foot by providing extremely damning information. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight. He tries to portray himself as the victim, implying that a group of professional game designers who are probably unaware of his existence were directly responsible for ''his'' actions.

Moreover, the revelation that he was aware of the effects of his weapon of choice, added to the circumstances, seem to show that him pepper-spraying Herring wasn't Chris misinterpreting the act of pepper-spraying as a sassy, feminine display of contempt. Also consider that the man he targeted was by the door, rather than further inside, and was not advancing towards or threatening Chris in any way. This indicates that this was a deliberate, cowardly act of malice on Chris's part, as he deliberately sprayed Herring on the way out, when his escape was already assured.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]]

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Chris's side of the story 2: Eclectic Boogaloo ==

On 11 January, Chris posted the following to his Facebook account, in which he once again paints himself as the victim and wishes that people could like him, even barring all of his other actions from the past. He also says that ''nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun''.

{{quotebox|Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious.
I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension.

I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them.
All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone.
And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there),
then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place.
It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them.

And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet,
as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief.

Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life;
Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the deaths of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun.
"Look out, she's going for her mace!"
"What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?"

And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction.

And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong.

And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either.

Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One.

Good Day. }}

== Gallery ==
<center><gallery>
File:GameStopCville.jpg|The store in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], site of the incident.
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png|The listing of his court hearing.
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png|The full details.
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png|Chris's violently insane version of the incident.
File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|Chris's distinctly [[Tomgirl Saga|unfeminine]] mugshot.
File:PROTESTING_SANIC_BUM.jpg|The defacement Chris intended to wreak.
</gallery></center>

== Fan Art ==
<center><gallery>
File:Goofytime PTSD Employ2.jpg|Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.
File:Tomgrrllyfe.jpg|Chris after life on the inside.
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg|Don't call anybody!
File:Chris's strut.png|Fighting the law requires fashion!
File:Chris_in_court.jpeg| Meanwhile at Chris's trial...
File:Phantom_Stress.jpg| "What a mess I've made, when it all went wrong..."
</gallery></center>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan maces a GameStop employee
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}, {{Sonic Boom|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Sweatshirt
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next = [[Documentary]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, for a nanosecond as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': Don't call anybody!

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, a family at the counter look shocked and confused by the bizarre creature passing them.'']

'''Clerk''': [''to customer at register''] 22.10 [''laughs'']

[''Chris sprays James Herring, the store's assistant manager, with pepper spray, causing him to quickly back away. A woman, likely the store's manager from Chris's description, walks into view.'']

'''Manager''': That guy wants to buy 2... [''trails off, realizing what just happened.'']

'''James''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Police Scanner Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
{{Incomplete}}
[''The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.'']

'''0:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP 5-7, APC--[''mumbling'']

'''Rookie:''' I'll cover it.

'''Cool cop:''' Stay there.

'''Old cop:''' He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. ''(CUTS OUT)'' and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a ''([[Stress sigh|sighs]])'' white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]]. ''(Someone in the background says "what the hell?")'' The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

'''1:00'''

'''Rural cop:''' I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

'''?:''' Okay.

'''?:''' Doin' okay.

'''?:''' Thank you, Ethan.

'''?:''' No problem.

'''?:''' Uhh... I'll be looking for seven, I'll probably be in that ''???'' mall for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

'''?:''' Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

'''?:''' Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ''?????'' Thirty-nine can just draw it.

'''?:''' Uh, ''????'' and ''?????''

'''?:''' Roger.

'''2:00'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''2:26'''

'''Mike:''' ''?????''

'''Woman:''' Thank you, Mike.

'''2:32'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''3:23'''

'''?:''' Seven-six APC.

'''?:''' Copy, seven-six.

'''Rural cop:''' Someone here at the mall with ''???'' Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

'''?:''' ''????'' uh, you got ''??????''

'''4:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven.

'''Rookie:''' Copy.

'''?:''' Uh, ''?????''

'''Rookie:''' That's correct.

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven. ''(PAUSE) ?????'' seven-six

'''4:45'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''5:14'''

'''Ethan:''' ''???'' before seven APC

'''?:''' ''?????''

'''Ethan:''' Could I have the report number please?

'''?:''' Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. ''(PAUSE) careful??????''

'''Ethan:''' ''????'' three units.

'''?:''' Sir, can you get me the report number ''????????''

'''?:''' ''?????'', you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

'''6:09'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''7:00'''

'''?:''' APC ''?????''

'''Woman:''' ''?????''

'''Old cop:''' ''?????'' car ''???????????????'' in the area ''????'' might have come from a house ''?????'' I'll check the ''book????''

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Fought the Law
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M2cKgb9xU2o}}
| stardate = 30 [[December 2014]]
| maker = FavoretFox
| subject = 26 December 2014
| type = [[Parody]] of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law"}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0A2p_OgkZw0}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2015]]
| maker = Based Tyrone
| subject = 26 December 2014}}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]
* [[28 October 2011]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

26 December 2014

2015-05-09T16:58:37Z

Beanmachine91:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ugh!!! I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!|[[Chris]]'s justification for his actions.}}
{{clear}}
[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|A [[wikipedia:Orange Is the New Black|hit new]] show [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|rocking]] the [[Netflix]] [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

'''26 December 2014''' was an infamous day in Chris's life, and the most action packed since he [[Graduation|graduated high school]]. Essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again, Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]] once more for [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] at [[The GAMe PLACe|a video game store]], this time with pepper spray<ref>[https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1424389574456&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Virginia general court records]</ref>. He is presently being charged by the Albemarle General District Court of Virginia with "illegal use of tear gas"<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-312]</ref>--a Class 6 felony for which Virginia sentencing guidelines recommend 1-5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2,500<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM]</ref> if convicted. The situation for Chris is worsened by the fact that, unlike his vehicular assault on Michael Snyder in 2011, this time the actual assault was caught on camera and posted to [[YouTube]], where it became viral and will surely be available as proof to the state prosecutors.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===
[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris, 6 seconds before the assault.]]

Chris's trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] with something, later confirmed to be pepper spray, on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, clad in full [[tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking at least 2 separate laws in 1 visit to his local GameStop outlet.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with the intention of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalizing their ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise]] (staff claimed he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) although Chris himself claimed it was because he'd seen some ''Skylanders'' shit he wanted and therefore [[Chris and reality|unilaterally decided that his ban didn't apply because he was there to buy something]]. Whatever the truth, he entered the store wearing a pair of purple [[My Little Pony]]-[[Chris and brand loyalty|branded]] [[Chris and fashion|sunglasses intended for little girls]] (something that even bronies wouldn't wear) as a "[[Honor roll|disguise]]". Needless to say, he was immediately recognized by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalize the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the ''Sonic Boom'' games before leaving, although it's unlikely, given that he wasn't charged with vandalism or anything similar. Either way, he eventually strode out, as seen in the video, commanding the staff "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he brandished a pink can of mace, and sprayed the Assistant Manager (or "[[CWCism|Ass Manager]]", as Chris would later call him) James Herring, who was later confirmed to be unharmed. Despite the commotion, the store did not close, although Mr Herring left soon after Chris.

The clip of Chris became a minor viral hit, earning over 195,911 views as of 5 January 2015. It is one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|the 1993 contest video]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|CWC-Tok]], the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]], and [[Madman Rising]].

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris returned to his car and left the mall. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking [[Kaka Makeup Basics|JCPenney]] and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also managed to contact Barbara, who had been eating at the mall with Chris, which also implies he left his elderly mother behind, without a car to get home. Barb had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car. Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day, and probably at [[Rental House|home]], or at least on the way home. For more details, observers were forced to await Chris's inevitable account on Facebook when he was released on bond, although little else was gleaned from his incoherent rambling (which can be read below), except him meeting the expectation that [[Sub-episodes|he'd twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] so he could get sympathy out of his [[white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of [[Kiwi Farms]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for 2 days by this point.

===Aftermath===
[[File:Cwc_arrest_record.png|thumb|left|Chris's court records]]

A followup call from a [[4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that Herring will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of 28 October 2011. Chris is presently being charged by the Albemarle General District Court of Virginia with "illegal use of tear gas", a Class 6 felony for which Virginia sentencing guidelines recommend 1-5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2,500 if convicted, along with all the other corresponding losses he'd experience as a registered felon.

Interestingly enough, Chris is being charged with the 6th Degree version under the Virginia tear gas law, which the code states is for cases in which the tear gassing was done "unlawfully, but not maliciously". This lesser charge was clearly intended for cases of neglect, negligence or stupidity which resulted in somebody innocent getting tear gassed accidentally; for the cops to book him on the lesser charge suggests that they believe at least some version of Chris's story about "spritzing a miniscule amount downward, NOT into his face" as he fearfully made his escape, or at least that they recognize that Chris [[Chris and psychology|isn't all there]]. Unfortunately for Chris, the video taken of the incident clearly shows him intentionally spraying Herring (who was not obstructing him or offering him resistance) in the upper chest area as he angrily exited the store. This suggests that once the prosecutor gets a look at the video, the charge might be upgraded to the Class 3 felony version of the charge, which carries a much stiffer penalty of 5-20 years and up to a $100,000 fine. A lot will depend upon whether or not it can be proved Herring was "injured" by the pepper spray, which is an element of both felony charges; if not, Chris will likely be allowed to plea down to misdemeanor-level assault and battery and be given a suspended sentence with probation, counseling, anger management and community service in lieu of jail time.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative is out of the question. Chris also cannot bank on his victim asking the court to downgrade the crime from a felony to a misdemeanor, as Mike did after the 28 October 2011 incident. Given the less-than-rousing success of previous attempts by the judicial system to alter Chris' behavior, anything short of rigorously enforced probation and a monitored psychological day program is likely going to result in failure. Worrying, even short term jail stints don't appear to bother Chris all that much anymore, certainly not enough to give him perspective as to why trespassing, vandalism and macing employees in a mall are unacceptable behaviors that society will put him in jail to prevent him from doing.

[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.]]

With estimates for Chris's sentence ranging from minor community service to 5 years in prison, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[tugboat]], perhaps [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Considering his very unsound mental state, it is very possible that he will be forced to receive therapy (rather than an evaluation simply to see whether he was a threat to society, like in 2011), something many are [[Chris and psychology|hoping for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has had to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off quite easily. Examples include his parents rushing to his defense (even awakening in the middle of the night to blast trolls on the phone) whenever his actions land him into trouble with anyone, Mike magnanimously deciding to drop felony charges for Chris after 28 October 2011, not to mention he avoided any serious community service, and Kiwi Farms users, of all people, putting together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]]. Moreover, for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's white knights have consistently coddled him, humored his foolish mercantile ventures and fed his already-gigantic ego, and not a single white knight spoke harshly to him, even while condemning his actions, when he got home ''from jail''. This would all be well and good if Chris could recognize that he should be grateful for his narrow escapes, and take measures to avoid landing in situations like this in the first place. However, since Chris is incapable of introspection, it has instead simply gotten to the point that he [[Chris and his Ego|just expects to be bailed out, or otherwise rescued from the consequences of his own actions]].

On 29 December, it was confirmed that Chris had posted the $2500 bail and left jail. Barb was probably the donor, once again abluting Chris of consequences.

On 3 [[January 2015]], an e-mail leaked onto Kiwi Farms revealed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at [[Wal-Mart]] and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed to be true by Chris himself, and indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "badass". This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceives himself as invincible as long he can threaten to mace his antagonists. Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability has previously been generally confined to the comics, but owing to the ever-growing chasm separating him from reality it may have seeped into his conscious psyche.

Chris's hatred for ''Sonic Boom'' is also escalating horribly even after this, as well. On 30 [[January 2015]], it was revealed that Chris is sending threats of glitter bombing (or, what he thinks is glitter bombing) to Sega of America headquarters.

All things considered, it's doubtful that Chris will learn anything whatsoever from his impending punishment, however harsh it may be. It will more likely simply resuscitate his old grudge against [[Jerkop|police officers]] and retail workers, which in turn will distort his perspective on the real world even further.

===Subsequent court hearings===
After his video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the next hearing), Chris was released on a bond and promptly took to Facebook to decry this injustice and counter troll speculation, the result of which can be seen below. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge placed a restraining order on Chris as part of his bail conditions, forbidding him from setting foot in any local GameStop or contacting any of the company's employees.

His next hearing took place on 5 February. It was decidedly brief as the Chandlers appeared to have hired/been assigned an unsuitable representative, and another hearing in April was scheduled. According to two Virginian Christorians in attendance, little of note happened except Chris and Barb forgetting the date of the next hearing, then pissing off the court by coming back to ask (thus holding up their next case). Additionally, footage was taken of Chris and Barb leaving court--marking the first appearance Barb has made in Christorical media for almost two years.

The subsequent hearing took place on 2 April; Chris attended alone, and reportedly seemed more nervous than in the previous hearing. It began 20 minutes early and was over within minutes; in fact Chris left before Christorians made it through security, so no one knows what actually happened inside. What is known is that Chris was granted another continuance and the next hearing was scheduled for 7 May. If the legal proceedings of Chris's previous misadventure are any indication, the actual trial may not take place until August or September 2015.

True to this prediction, the hearing on 7 May resulted in another continuance, until 11 June, although the hearing reportedly lasted longer than the one on 2 April.<ref>https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1431012950495&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003</ref> Chris was also seen at [[McDonalds]] before attending, again.

== Chris's side of the story ==
{{quote|I WAS the Victim|Chris, meeting everyone's expectations}}

As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of his misadventures. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident--aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident--and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[trolls|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in hot water if the prosecution sees his (publicly accessible) profile. Even his white knights, if not harsh, seem condemnatory of his actions. It seems that this time around, everyone is against him.

In this illuminating tract, Chris rambles on and on, continually shooting himself in the foot by providing extremely damning information. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight. He tries to portray himself as the victim, implying that a group of professional game designers who are probably unaware of his existence were directly responsible for ''his'' actions.

Moreover, the revelation that he was aware of the effects of his weapon of choice, added to the circumstances, seem to show that him pepper-spraying Herring wasn't Chris misinterpreting the act of pepper-spraying as a sassy, feminine display of contempt. Also consider that the man he targeted was by the door, rather than further inside, and was not advancing towards or threatening Chris in any way. This indicates that this was a deliberate, cowardly act of malice on Chris's part, as he deliberately sprayed Herring on the way out, when his escape was already assured.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]]

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Chris's side of the story 2: Eclectic Boogaloo ==

On 11 January, Chris posted the following to his Facebook account, in which he once again paints himself as the victim and wishes that people could like him, even barring all of his other actions from the past. He also says that ''nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun''.

{{quotebox|Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious.
I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension.

I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them.
All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone.
And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there),
then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place.
It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them.

And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet,
as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief.

Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life;
Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the deaths of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun.
"Look out, she's going for her mace!"
"What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?"

And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction.

And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong.

And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either.

Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One.

Good Day. }}

== Gallery ==
<center><gallery>
File:GameStopCville.jpg|The store in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], site of the incident.
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png|The listing of his court hearing.
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png|The full details.
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png|Chris's violently insane version of the incident.
File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|Chris's distinctly [[Tomgirl Saga|unfeminine]] mugshot.
File:PROTESTING_SANIC_BUM.jpg|The defacement Chris intended to wreak.
</gallery></center>

== Fan Art ==
<center><gallery>
File:Goofytime PTSD Employ2.jpg|Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.
File:Tomgrrllyfe.jpg|Chris after life on the inside.
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg|Don't call anybody!
File:Chris's strut.png|Fighting the law requires fashion!
File:Chris_in_court.jpeg| Meanwhile at Chris's trial...
File:Phantom_Stress.jpg| "What a mess I've made, when it all went wrong..."
</gallery></center>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan maces a GameStop employee
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}, {{Sonic Boom|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Sweatshirt
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next = [[Documentary]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, for a nanosecond as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': Don't call anybody!

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, a family at the counter look shocked and confused by the bizarre creature passing them.'']

'''Clerk''': [''to customer at register''] 22.10 [''laughs'']

[''Chris sprays James Herring, the store's assistant manager, with pepper spray, causing him to quickly back away. A woman, likely the store's manager from Chris's description, walks into view.'']

'''Manager''': That guy wants to buy 2... [''trails off, realizing what just happened.'']

'''James''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Police Scanner Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
{{Incomplete}}
[''The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.'']

'''0:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP 5-7, APC--[''mumbling'']

'''Rookie:''' I'll cover it.

'''Cool cop:''' Stay there.

'''Old cop:''' He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. ''(CUTS OUT)'' and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a ''([[Stress sigh|sighs]])'' white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]]. ''(Someone in the background says "what the hell?")'' The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

'''1:00'''

'''Rural cop:''' I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

'''?:''' Okay.

'''?:''' Doin' okay.

'''?:''' Thank you, Ethan.

'''?:''' No problem.

'''?:''' Uhh... I'll be looking for seven, I'll probably be in that ''???'' mall for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

'''?:''' Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

'''?:''' Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ''?????'' Thirty-nine can just draw it.

'''?:''' Uh, ''????'' and ''?????''

'''?:''' Roger.

'''2:00'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''2:26'''

'''Mike:''' ''?????''

'''Woman:''' Thank you, Mike.

'''2:32'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''3:23'''

'''?:''' Seven-six APC.

'''?:''' Copy, seven-six.

'''Rural cop:''' Someone here at the mall with ''???'' Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

'''?:''' ''????'' uh, you got ''??????''

'''4:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven.

'''Rookie:''' Copy.

'''?:''' Uh, ''?????''

'''Rookie:''' That's correct.

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven. ''(PAUSE) ?????'' seven-six

'''4:45'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''5:14'''

'''Ethan:''' ''???'' before seven APC

'''?:''' ''?????''

'''Ethan:''' Could I have the report number please?

'''?:''' Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. ''(PAUSE) careful??????''

'''Ethan:''' ''????'' three units.

'''?:''' Sir, can you get me the report number ''????????''

'''?:''' ''?????'', you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

'''6:09'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''7:00'''

'''?:''' APC ''?????''

'''Woman:''' ''?????''

'''Old cop:''' ''?????'' car ''???????????????'' in the area ''????'' might have come from a house ''?????'' I'll check the ''book????''

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Fought the Law
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M2cKgb9xU2o}}
| stardate = 30 [[December 2014]]
| maker = FavoretFox
| subject = 26 December 2014
| type = [[Parody]] of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law"}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0A2p_OgkZw0}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2015]]
| maker = Based Tyrone
| subject = 26 December 2014}}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]
* [[28 October 2011]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

KCWC

2015-05-08T23:16:04Z

Beanmachine91:

{{quote|TUNE IN TO STATION KCWC FOR EVERYTHING! *ALL THE GREAT SONG TYPES FROM CLASSIC TO JAZZ TO COUNTRY TO POP TO HEAVY METAL, EVEN JUGS/KAZOOS/WASHBOARDS; ALL THE EARLY AND LATEST HITS, PLAYED AT RANDOM, AS WELL AS SHORT TALK. HOSTED EVERYDAY BY FAVORITE DISC JOCKY, [[DJ Jamsta|JAMSTA SONICHU]], AND CO-HOSTED BY HIS NUMBER ONE WOMAN, [[Lolisa Rosechu|LOLISA ROSECHU]]!|KCWC advertisement, [[Sonichu 8]].}}

[[Image:Jynx.jpg|thumb|An example of "SHORT TALK".]]

'''KCWC''' is a fictional radio station created by [[Chris]] and hosted by [[Things Chris has ripped off|multiple plagiarized characters]].

== Real life ==

As with [[CWCville]], Chris isn't quite sure where reality ends and fantasy begins. Taping your own "radio broadcasts" in [[Chris's room|your room]] is a perfectly amusing and educational form of play for your average 7-year-old, but Chris was [[KCWC broadcast|was doing it since he was 16]]; kids interested in radio broadcasting at ''that'' age should probably be soldering up pirate transmitters or uploading podcasts by that stage. The [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] was actually "broadcast" on YouTube, but people generally expect ''somewhat'' higher production values from 28-year-olds.

== In comic ==

Tragically, the radio station eventually appeared in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]] as well. In one sense, this proved to be a blessing for Chris and the audience, because radio stations don't actually have to play anything in the comics. Despite the ad claiming that KCWC plays "EVERYTHING", the station in the comic has only been shown to play "[[CWC More Than A Feeling|More Than a Feeling]]" and "[[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Livin' la Vida Loca]]." It's also highly unlikely that Chris listens to heavy metal (outside of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'').

Chris also, in an unusual display of musical knowledge, mentions the use of household items as musical instruments: [[Wikipedia:Jug (musical instrument)|jugs]] (1920's jug bands) and [[Wikipedia:Washboard#The_washboard_as_a_musical_instrument|washboards]] (jazz, zydeco, skiffle, jug bands). Chris probably heard about this from his ancient parents, who would be familiar with very old genres. ([[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was born eight years before Elvis!)

KCWC further functions as a propaganda outlet for the [[CWCville Mayoral Office]], as evidenced in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where the staff can be seen to slavishly praise their [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|dictator]] and his draconian rule.

==Staff==
KCWC is run by [[DJ Jamsta]], a [[homos|sexually androgynous]] hedgehog whose main job seems to be spouting clichéd catchphrases and badly hitting on the female guests in a vain attempt to STAY STRAIGHT. His sidekick is [[Lolisa Rosechu|Lolisa]], a worthless Rosechu.

==Controversies==
KCWC gained international attention for holding an interview with Chris's only [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fan]], [[Robert Simmons V|SonichuFan1985]], and also for breaking hedgehog labor laws.

==FCC violation==
If KCWC broadcast in real life, it would be in violation of FCC rules. Since Chris's fictional world is, for all intents and purposes, in Virginia, the station's call sign would have to begin with a W, making the radio station WCWC. American stations east of the Mississippi have callsigns beginning with a W, while those west of the river begin with a K. There are exceptions that have been granted, such as KDKA in Pennsylvania and WFAA in Dallas, which were founded before the K/W rule was in place.

Furthermore, there is a [[wikipedia:KCWC-FM|real-life station]] which uses those same call letters. It is very likely Chris doesn't know or care, and even if he did know he would probably insist his is the TRUE and HONEST KCWC.

==See also==
*[[KCWC broadcast]]
*[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]

{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Fictional places]]

KCWC

2015-05-08T23:14:36Z

Beanmachine91:

{{quote|TUNE IN TO STATION KCWC FOR EVERYTHING! *ALL THE GREAT SONG TYPES FROM CLASSIC TO JAZZ TO COUNTRY TO POP TO HEAVY METAL, EVEN JUGS/KAZOOS/WASHBOARDS; ALL THE EARLY AND LATEST HITS, PLAYED AT RANDOM, AS WELL AS SHORT TALK. HOSTED EVERYDAY BY FAVORITE DISC JOCKY, [[DJ Jamsta|JAMSTA SONICHU]], AND CO-HOSTED BY HIS NUMBER ONE WOMAN, [[Lolisa Rosechu|LOLISA ROSECHU]]!|KCWC advertisement, [[Sonichu 8]].}}

[[Image:Jynx.jpg|thumb|An example of "SHORT TALK".]]

'''KCWC''' is a fictional radio station created by [[Chris]] and hosted by [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarized]] characters.

== Real life ==

As with [[CWCville]], Chris isn't quite sure where reality ends and fantasy begins. Taping your own "radio broadcasts" in [[Chris's room|your room]] is a perfectly amusing and educational form of play for your average 7-year-olds, but Chris was [[KCWC broadcast|was doing it since he was 16]]; kids interested in radio broadcasting at ''that'' age should probably be soldering up pirate transmitters or uploading podcasts by that stage. The [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] was actually "broadcast" on YouTube, but people generally expect ''somewhat'' higher production values from 28-year-olds.

== In comic ==

Tragically, the radio station eventually appeared in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]] as well. In one sense, this proved to be a blessing for Chris and the audience, because radio stations don't actually have to play anything in the comics. Despite the ad claiming that KCWC plays "EVERYTHING", the station in the comic has only been shown to play "[[CWC More Than A Feeling|More Than a Feeling]]" and "[[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Livin' la Vida Loca]]." It's also highly unlikely that Chris listens to heavy metal (outside of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'').

Chris also, in an unusual display of musical knowledge, mentions the use of household items as musical instruments: [[Wikipedia:Jug (musical instrument)|jugs]] (1920's jug bands) and [[Wikipedia:Washboard#The_washboard_as_a_musical_instrument|washboards]] (jazz, zydeco, skiffle, jug bands). Chris probably heard about this from his ancient parents, who would be familiar with very old genres. ([[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was born eight years before Elvis!)

KCWC further functions as a propaganda outlet for the [[CWCville Mayoral Office]], as evidenced in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where the staff can be seen to slavishly praise their [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|dictator]] and his draconian rule.

==Staff==
KCWC is run by [[DJ Jamsta]], a [[homos|sexually androgynous]] hedgehog whose main job seems to be spouting clichéd catchphrases and badly hitting on the female guests in a vain attempt to STAY STRAIGHT. His sidekick is [[Lolisa Rosechu|Lolisa]], a worthless Rosechu.

==Controversies==
KCWC gained international attention for holding an interview with Chris's only [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fan]], [[Robert Simmons V|SonichuFan1985]], and also for breaking hedgehog labor laws.

==FCC violation==
If KCWC broadcast in real life, it would be in violation of FCC rules. Since Chris's fictional world is, for all intents and purposes, in Virginia, the station's call sign would have to begin with a W, making the radio station WCWC. American stations east of the Mississippi have callsigns beginning with a W, while those west of the river begin with a K. There are exceptions that have been granted, such as KDKA in Pennsylvania and WFAA in Dallas, which were founded before the K/W rule was in place.

Furthermore, there is a [[wikipedia:KCWC-FM|real-life station]] which uses those same call letters. It is very likely Chris doesn't know or care, and even if he did know he would probably insist his is the TRUE and HONEST KCWC.

==See also==
*[[KCWC broadcast]]
*[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]

{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Fictional places]]

DJ Jamsta

2015-05-08T23:12:44Z

Beanmachine91:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Jamster.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |DJ Jamsta
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| [[Sonichu chronology#1986|1986]] (in universe)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 5'4" (163 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]]
|-
|}
{{quote|"Hey guys, gals, [[Chris|duds]] ''[sic]'' and dudettes of all ages! We are rockin' hawt at Cwcville Beach for Spring Break [[2008|'08]]! Y'all know me as Jamsta Sonichu, da DJ with da [[power]]!"|DJ Jamsta, laying it down.}}

'''DJ Jamsta''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] [[Wikipedia:Disc jockey|DJ]], and a host on the [[KCWC]] radio station. His origins are unknown; ''Sonichu'' historians suspect he was plagiarized from a better comic. DJ Jamsta is known for using retro slang and making sexist remarks towards women. Even by ''Sonichu'' standards he is particularly ridiculous-looking. He looks kind of like if the beginning sequence to ''[[Wikipedia:Saved by the Bell|Saved by the Bell]]'' fucked [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

One of the most notable traits Jamsta possesses is an odd lack of consistency in coloring across his body. It's also not entirely clear if his ears are just a different color than the rest of his fur, or if he just has a [[Chris and fashion|spectacularly terrible hat]], or if he is perhaps suffering from [[Hair|male-pattern baldness]]. Of note, if they ''are'' his ears, then his earphones rest on the side of his head, far away from anywhere they would be of any use. It is also notable that Jamsta has a fan-shaped tail not seen in any other Sonichus. It is colored in three bars that match his shirt, but no part of his actual body.

==Not Cool==
[[Image:328-Jamsta.jpg|thumb|right|COOL DUDE!]]
Jamsta is a symbol of what Chris thinks is cool, which is why he is so very uncool. Chris uses some of DJ Jamsta's lines in his [[Christian_Weston_Chandler%27s_FUTURE_MESSAGE|future message]]. Like Chris trying to act "with it", Jamsta sounds much more like a marketing executive parroting lines for credibility than an actual "cool" character, throwing (what Chris considers to be) trendy words into his speech without much logic.

==Age==

Along with [[Lolisa Rosechu]], DJ Jamsta Sonichu is somehow inexplicably older than the "original" [[Sonichu]]; his age is shown as 21 at the end of episode 17 in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], while, near the start of [[Episode 18]] (which is set months after [[Episode 17]] occurred), Sonichu becomes 20 years old. This leaves a logical inconsistency: If Jamsta is older than Sonichu, wouldn't he name the species of [[Pokémon]] to which he and the rest of the male Hedgehogs belong?

Chris addresses this in a Mailbag:

{{quote|"Yes, that is correct. Jamsta and Lolisa hatched somewhere private, and their species was not classified with the Professors until about [[Sonichu chronology#1990|1990]]."|--ChrisChanSonichu 00:33, 22 [[November 2009]], [[Mailbag 2]]}}

Of course, Chris's explanation only created more questions. In fact, it makes even less sense than before. For example, it doesn't explain where Lolisa and Jamsta came from in the first place, how they met each other, or why is he running a radio station. Also, the implication that they were hatched together is somewhat problematic, and adds all manner of pseudo-incestuous undertones to their relationship. Of course, since all the characters seem to regard Chris as a father figure in some warped sense, that's pretty much par for the course.

{{Sonichu}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{Template:Stub}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

DJ Jamsta

2015-05-08T23:00:25Z

Beanmachine91:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Jamster.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |DJ Jamsta
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| [[Sonichu chronology#1986|1986]] (in universe)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 5'4" (163 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]]
|-
|}
{{quote|"Hey guys, gals, [[Chris|duds]] ''[sic]'' and dudettes of all ages! We are rockin' hawt at Cwcville Beach for Spring Break [[2008|'08]]! Y'all know me as Jamsta Sonichu, da DJ with da [[power]]!"|DJ Jamsta, laying it down.}}

'''DJ Jamsta''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] [[Wikipedia:Disc jockey|DJ]], and a host on [[KCWC]] radio station. His origins are unknown; ''Sonichu'' historians suspect he was plagiarized from a better comic. DJ Jamsta is known for using retro slang and making sexist remarks towards women. Even by ''Sonichu'' standards he is particularly ridiculous-looking. He looks kind of like if the beginning sequence to ''[[Wikipedia:Saved by the Bell|Saved by the Bell]]'' fucked [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

One of the most notable traits Jamsta possesses is an odd lack of consistency in coloring across his body. It's also not entirely clear if his ears are just a different color than the rest of his fur, or if he just has a [[Chris and fashion|spectacularly terrible hat]], or if he is perhaps suffering from [[Hair|male-pattern baldness]]. Of note, if they ''are'' his ears, then his earphones rest on the side of his head, far away from anywhere they would be of any use. It is also notable that Jamsta has a fan-shaped tail not seen in any other Sonichus. It is colored in three bars that match his shirt, but no part of his actual body.

==Not Cool==
[[Image:328-Jamsta.jpg|thumb|right|COOL DUDE!]]
Jamsta is a symbol of what Chris thinks is cool, which is why he is so very uncool. Chris uses some of DJ Jamsta's lines in his [[Christian_Weston_Chandler%27s_FUTURE_MESSAGE|future message]]. Like Chris trying to act "with it", Jamsta sounds much more like a marketing executive parroting lines for credibility than an actual "cool" character, throwing (what Chris considers to be) trendy words into his speech without much logic.

==Age==

Along with [[Lolisa Rosechu]], DJ Jamsta Sonichu is somehow inexplicably older than the "original" [[Sonichu]]; his age is shown as 21 at the end of episode 17 in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], while, near the start of [[Episode 18]] (which is set months after [[Episode 17]] occurred), Sonichu becomes 20 years old. This leaves a logical inconsistency: If Jamsta is older than Sonichu, wouldn't he name the species of [[Pokémon]] to which he and the rest of the male Hedgehogs belong?

Chris addresses this in a Mailbag:

{{quote|"Yes, that is correct. Jamsta and Lolisa hatched somewhere private, and their species was not classified with the Professors until about [[Sonichu chronology#1990|1990]]."|--ChrisChanSonichu 00:33, 22 [[November 2009]], [[Mailbag 2]]}}

Of course, Chris's explanation only created more questions. In fact, it makes even less sense than before. For example, it doesn't explain where Lolisa and Jamsta came from in the first place, how they met each other, or why is he running a radio station. Also, the implication that they were hatched together is somewhat problematic, and adds all manner of pseudo-incestuous undertones to their relationship. Of course, since all the characters seem to regard Chris as a father figure in some warped sense, that's pretty much par for the course.

{{Sonichu}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{Template:Stub}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special

2015-05-08T22:56:16Z

Beanmachine91: /* Transcript */

'''KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special''' is a series of videos uploaded on 12 [[August 2009]], wherein [[Chris]] stood in for [[Jamsta Sonichu]] as DJ for [[KCWC]], the [[CWCville]] radio station. In a special live broadcast from his bedroom, Chris dedicated 10 songs to a number of people in his life.

== Part 1: #10 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|IzdJEkjaHxM}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

[''Note: All sound effects are done by Chris's voice.'']

[''Chris makes some random sound effects while holding the KCWC advertisement from [[Sonichu 8]]'']

[''normal voice''] Yes. Yes yes. Yes, what is it?

[''starts with a squeaky voice, but quickly returns to normal''] A man wants to know what to do for info-mation. Why call us, it's on the dial: information. You heard him. Ba-dum-ba-dum--quiet, we're on the air.

[''pause, then a lame imitation of the NBC chimes''] Boop!

[''creepily''] Hello, everyboooody. We just brought the moon over the mountain.

[''squeaky''] Hello ma, hello pa. You've brought mature faith. I good like that. Now for a little ic--[''interrupting himself''] quiet.

[''gay voice''] Dis broadcast is being brought to you by the courtesy of Brighto, in six delicious flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, cranberry, strawberry, and raspberry. [''[[Honor roll|Yes, that was only five.]]'']

[''squawks. squeaky''] It's still raspberry. [[It's UGH!|Ehhhhh]]. Oh no! [''whooping noise''] Now get quiet or I'll sack you again. [[We're Being Watched|Are you listening?]] V-v-v-voom, v-v-v-voom. [''drunkenly''] Eh, gedatta here.

Now don't go away ladies and gentlemen. We will soon be with you. Zheeem! Boom. Cuckoo! [''whispers, barely audibly''] Da orrist.

[''another lame imitation of the NBC chimes''] Boop!

[''crappy opening tune, sings''] Ba ba ba bum, ba ba ba bum, it's time to open that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station K-C-W-C. And here is your hoooost with the moooost, ''[[Jamsta Sonichu]]!'' [''to the tune of "Shave and a Haircut"''] Ba-ba-ba-bum-bum, ba-bum!

Good evening-good orning [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, dudes of all ages]]. This is your host, Jamsta Sonichu. Everybody he-here everybody heh. Station KCWC, with my co-host [[Lolisa Rosechu]]. But for the moment we will be taking you live to Christian Chandler's bedroom. Take it away, Mr. C.

[''Jump cut to Chris sitting on his bed'']

Thank you Jamsta. Yes, this is [''takes off glasses''] Christian Weston Chandler, birth name Christopher. Born on February 24, [[1982]]. Ri--coming to you live from the house in Ruckersville, Virginia, that reaches from the beaches to the shore. Everdear on everythang KCWC. And today we will be offering a special dedication. It's our top ten dedications to some of the young, inspiring people out there. Uh, even [[Chris and death|some that may have passed away unfortunately, God rest in peace for those individuals]]. But anyway, we will be doing our top 10 dedications.

Originally for #10 we were going to do "Drops of Jupiter" from T-uh, from uh..."Drops of Jupiter" from Train, I think it was, for this individual named [[Max|Max Molvanîa]]. [''Suddenly angry''] But you know what this son of a bitch conned me out of ''Disgaea 3'', ''Street Fighter 4'', and ''Burnout Paradise'' full game, DLC, between those first two games and whatnot, from the PlayStation Network, as stored from me in the first place so [''raspberry''] to him...and also impersonated the [[Julie|woman that I th-d-thought for a long time the person was]].

Anyway, so instead, we will be doing th-our-for our #10, as for our first inspirational song, we will be doing this dedication for all upcoming young artists of, uh, hand-drawing speculations [''makes gesture in the air''] or handcrafting or whatever. [''Touches medallion''] Handcraft. Anyway. Anyway, we will be doing, this is for, like, you know, for all them, as well as any individuals, within any schools - every single school - who I know gets bullied or tortured nadata, as well as those on the internet who get bullied and tortured by the dang internet bullies and trolls. Dis song is for y'all. It's "[[CWC Dare|Dare]]" from [[Wikipedia:Stan Bush|Stan Bush]].

[''Jump cut to [[Optimus Prime]] toy as "Dare" plays in bad quality. A black wire is lifted past the screen about halfway through for...no discernable reason. Also, we now see where Chris' glasses get thrown to, which is important'']

[''Jump cut back to Chris. He takes off his glasses'']

Ah, yes, Mr. Stan Bush with an inspirational word for us never to let our dreams die. The power's at our command. [''Holds up his hand''] We hold the future in our hands [''points to head''] the little voice inside us tellises it's the last round, but we press on anyway.

Anyway, before we move on to song #9, we have to take a brief break...for to let the commercials air. First, the word from our sponsor, the ''I Love Lucy'' show. We love you Lucy O'Ball.

[''Holds up KCWC advertisement again. Talks in a falsetto''] Hello friends, I'm da Vitameatavegimin<ref>A reference to the ''I Love Lucy'' episode ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucy_Does_a_TV_Commercial Lucy Does a TV Commercial]'', Chris's favorite ''I Love Lucy'' episode.</ref> girl. Hey ta, run down lislis. Do you wayla parties? Are you popular? Get ya all da brothels in this little bottle. Vitameatavegimin. Vitameatavegimin contains vitamins, meat, veg-et-ables and minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegimin, you can spoon your way to health. Just take one tablespoon full after every meal. It's so tasty too. Mmm, tastes like candy. So why not join the thousands of happy cappy people and get a big bottle full of Vitameatavegimin tomorrow. That's Vita-meata-vegimin.

== Part 2: #9 and #8 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|SnGqv4afWfw}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

And! Welcome back to station K-C-W-C! We are the main station of the city of Cwcville, Virginia, reachin' da beaches! We are live and raring to keep on trackin' with ''everything''. During dedications, I'd like to take one brief, brief moment to make a dedication to Mr. R.L. Stine, [''holds up ''The Haunted Mask'', turning his head briefly to his right as if to read off a cue card''] author of ''Goosebumps'', [''pauses, then holds up two ''Fear Street'' novels, turning his head again briefly to the right''] and the ''Fear Street''s. Thank you mister R.L. Stine, you were an [''salutes''] inspiration to me [[A Week With Christian Chandler|through high school]]. Gave me a few frights as well.

And also thanks to [[gal-pal|Sarah Bevel]], my- one of my high school [[gal-pal]]s, who gave me a couple of S--your Senior books...uh, I have the other one, but I found this one, but, still good to go.

Anyway, coming in at, uh, #9, we are doing a distance dedication...well, not so distant, 'cause he lives near sa- near the city of Ruckersville or Charlottesville... uh, Dyke, I believe it was. Anyway, we are puttin' out a dedication to Joshua Martinez, followed by one for [[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Anne Hudgens]]. Hey, don't believe his pictures, all the ladies he has on his iPhone: they're from people's Mysp- spaces that he dun even know, so he's lyin' through his ass and I bet he was lyin' through his ass when-when he told, when, uh, he told me I was talking to Vanessa Hudgens the whole time, uh, even though i-- even though it would have been nice gal-pal and I should have been talkin' to her for REAL, but, but nonetheless, his screenname was used for it every time I talked to supposedly her, if I was him the whole time, whatta dang dirty liar! I don't care if the trolls troll HIM!

Anyway, our next song is "[[Wikipedia:No Tengo Dinero|No Tengo Dinero]]" from [[Wikipedia:Los Umbrellos|Los Umbrellos]] and, by the way, another lie he told me: I checked. [''pauses''] Vanessa Hudgens was never in Los Umbrellos. So anyway, come in #10, "No Tengo Dinero," followed by, number, I mean, #9 was "No Tengo Dinero", followed by #8, "[[Wikipedia:Sneakernight|Sneakernight]]". Thank you, [[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]], if I had actually been talkin' to you.

[''"No Tengo Dinero" by Los Umbrellos plays, followed by "Sneakernight" by Vanessa Hudgens. Chris has the cover of the Dreamcast title ''Samba De Amigo'' in front of the camera. Video ends just as "Sneakernight" ends.'']

== Part 3: #7 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|wb7fF5qO-hA}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

And you are list' to Everything Station KCWC! That was, uh, shoot, "Sneakernight" from Vanessa Hudgens. Thank--ladies and gentlemen, coming in on #8 I believe it was? Yeah, #8 on the Top 10 Dedications.

Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication...to the old gal-pal of mine that I almost had a ra--I had meant to be--I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, [[Megan Schroeder]], her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, [[Wikipedia:Yngwie Malmsteen|Yngwie Malmsteen]]. Take it away, Mr. Malm.

[''"[[wikipedia:Eclipse (Yngwie Malmsteen album)|Making]] [[Hanky-panky|Love]] (Extended Guitar Mix)" by Yngwie Malmsteen plays, with Megan's original drawing of [[Megagi]] in front of the camera.'']

== Part 4: #6 and #5 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|TrtwCPK4_PA}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

Ah yes the old extended guitar mix track I had just for the [[Megan|girl]] [[Lie|I had]] that I love you, but unfortunately lost contact with her, she moved away. Lives in another state. I hope you're still safe and well, Megan.

Anyway coming in at number six! A dedication to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Mr. born with the name Christian W. Chandler]]... but he was not the real deal because... in order to be the real deal you ha-you ahh-you cannot, you cannot be the real deal because I am the real deal, born with the-I was born with the name Christopher. So there. He was not he was born as a Christian W Chandler. Anyway this dedication... anyway... You know him as being the impostor who made me pull out my Parappa Hat, and my shirt that I won from the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa Contest]] back in August 2008. Now! The Dedication goes out to him, and his sweetheart [[Kacey]]. It's a classic from [[Wikipedia:NSYNC|*NSYNC]], so... [''points at the camera''] quit tearing out my heart, or-and her heart, Christian. Take it away 'N Sync!

[''[[Wikipedia:Tearin' Up My Heart|Tearin' Up My Heart]]" by *NSYNC plays in horrendously low quality. Throughout the song, an image of a brown Sonichu is held in front of the camera. This brown Sonichu was revealed to be the comic counterpart of [[Liquid Chris]] on 17 [[November 2009]]'']

[''Jump cut to Chris sitting on his bed, wearing a blue vest and what appears to be a Cub Scouts bandanna. He turns to face the camera.'']

Peace out and how! Just coming to you live from my bedroom on station KCWC. Yeah, and quit tearing up our hearts man! Yeah, you're the one that's [[List of Chris's lies|lying]]. Heh, you in last video. The dog? [''Inhuman falsetto''] THE DAAAA! [''Normal voice''] What the...no, that's--that's just wrong, man. That's just wrong.

Anyway! Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the on that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me [''Removes glasses, leans into camera and points to his left eye'']] in my one blue eye. [''backs away from the camera, replaces glasses''] And in my heart and soul. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|Cuz he is me, I am him]]. You don't get that, you're just-this guy.. uh that guy.

[''Reaches for Sonic CD box on bed''] Anyway coming in at-anyway coming in at number five, oh and also, Neckerchief: I was in the Wolf Scouts. The Wolf Cub Scouts. In the late 1980's Den number four, Red numbers 174. If You find the den mother that ran that-that ran that-that house den thing way back when, tell her Christopher says: [''Suddenly angry''] Hey. Why'd you kick me out? Because I was autistic you were afraid of me? Yeah. But still, hey.

Anyway, [''Holds up Sonic CD case''] [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog CD#Music|Sonic Boom from Pastiche]]! [''pronounced "Past-teach-ee"''] Cuz it's our common link as our hero, even before [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] came around, it was the [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|American Rabbit]], and that one movie. Anyway, let's get rocking. Oh and also, the Cub Scouts, [''Does a salute of sorts''] that's where I learned to salute like this! So, the further salute... to Christopher. As he still lives on in me. Let's get Boomin'!

[''The end credits version of "Sonic Boom" by Pastiche plays in the background with terrible audio quality. The Case for Sonic CD is held up to the camera throughout.'']

== Part 5: #4 ==
{{Deletedvideo}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|r4dq59up2fg}}</center>

The picture shown during the song is a hand-drawn portrait of [[Sarah_Jackson|Sarah Jackson]]

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:SarahJackson.jpg|thumb|right|Image from the video dedicated to Sarah Jackson.]]
Ah, yes the p--classic from the Sonic series, and ''Pas-tee-chee'' that continues to be a [''raises finger''] BIIIG number one hit in the city of CWCVille, Virginia, and the heart of me, Christopher Christian Weston Chandler [''touches left manboob'']. YOU are listening to every-thing station: KCWC. Before we continue with the de--uh, dedication list I just would like to, uh, bring out that, uh, like you to know... from a friend of mine, uh, she, uh recommended ah White Stripes ''unformanute''--unfortunately we do not have any tracks of them at the moment, but as soon--but as soon we download some, uh y'know, we'll put in there during twelve o'clock, like everything ''lunch hour'', ...Heh... on this radio station that "''Reaches the Beaches''", and uh, you know, she's also helped me out as well in the past, ah you know for uh more recent events...

And, uh also, just another dog-gone note - [''holds up Starscream toy''] OXYSTAR-SCREEA--UH, OXY-StarsSclean: "OxyStarsSclean", AKA Oxycleanfanatic2264 Your friend has left you. Now you can go rot with [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]]! [''throws Starscream toy on the floor''].

Anyway, coming in at number 4 on the Top Ten dedication: the heart of mine [''removes glasses''] --m-my heart goes out to... da, fi--the, uh, final --the 3 girls that top that-- that I'll mention, uh, here in this conte-- ah in the ''final four''. Firstly, Ms. Sarah Jackson. (That may be no accident??) she was as ''tough as a bear''. And she was a very good woman. And she was a true friend. Among the gal pals I've talke-- I've made, and talked to on the Internet... [''shrill voice''] UNLIKE [[Blanca|BLANCA WEISS]] WHO TURNED OUT TO BE A TROOOOLL. Anyway, uh--r, anyway, Rita I know is a family member, i-if y-you are waching this: her hear--y'all smiles, and hers, still has a place in my heart. Just like all my [[Gal_pal|Gal Pals]]... in my past, and everywhere. Their smiles still have a place in my heart. So, anyway, from the track that she picked out for me just before she passed-- [''Big ol' empty [[sigh]]''] take it away: [[Wikipedia:REO Speedwagon|REO Speedwagon]]...

AND she was also the teacher in the Sex-Ed class in that [[Sonichu_9|episode]]... I'm sorry, [[Dating_education|DATING EDUCATION]] class.

[''REO Speedwagon takes it away with "[[Wikipedia:Can't Fight This Feeling|Can't Fight this Feeling]]" on KCWC'']

== Part 6: #3 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|SnPodMBt9qg}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

You are listening to Everything Station KCWC.

Coming in at #3 for our Top 10 Dedications, a friend- sweet friend of mine- good friend of my sweet, my doomed sweetest Ivy O'Neil, Sen-Chan (I dare not reveal her real name), but anyway, she has been a good friend of her, her [??] the days and she's be-uh, she has been good to me as well. So anyway, based upon her suggestion and, uh, request, here's a classic, here's a good one from [[Britney Spears]], "Heaven on Earth."

[''"Heaven on Earth" by Britney Spears plays. The picture shown is a drawing of a Meowth based fan character who was previously featured in the [[Wedding Comic]] (where her name was revealed to be Lilith).'']

== Part 7: #2 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|PmK9OMPYse4}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

[''"[[Holding Out for a Hero]]" by [[Wikipedia:Bonnie Tyler|Bonnie Tyler]] plays. A picture of Chris and Ivy from [[Sonichu Special 1]] is in front of the camera.'']

[''Picture disappears, leaving us looking at Chris's face with his eyes bulging out''] Ahhh, yes. Coming in at #2, that was Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero", dedicated to my sweetest [[Ivy|Ivy O'Neil]]. It was a fool of my father, tricked me into believing him, and my detective not finding her father in any of the police records. Shoot. [''sighs''] My heart still, has a place for your smile, Ivy. Please come back. But, you know, I'll move on, still, but, you know, it'd be nice if you'd come back one day.

Anyway, now, after the commercial break, we'll talk about s-, we'll talk about #1 on the hit dedication charts, right here on station KCWC!

== Part 8: #1 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|tthvRiFWWl0}}</center>

=== Transcript ===
And welcome back to Everything Station KCWC in [''removes glasses''] CWCville, Virginia. Anyway, coming in at number one on the Top Ten Dedication…is inspirational. Comes from the hear - eh - which was sung by the uh galpal I talked to all the way from Australia, [[PandaHalo]], inspire - [''holds up PandaHalo art''] drew the original fan art that's gonna be da cover of book number 10. Also somebody else drew fanart that was gonna be book for uh - book - eh- the next book after that, season - for the - season premiere. Anyway. Anyway, this goes out to uh her, may she rest in peace even though she burned once in those brush fires.

Here is [''whispers dramatically''] "Lift Up Your Eyes" from The Planetshakers [''regular voice''] on Everything Station KCWC and after the song's over I'm gonna hand everything back to Jamsta Sonichu. Have a safe day.

''[The song plays, while Chris shows the cover of [[Sonichu 10]]]''

[''As song begins''] She also had quite the lovely voice when she sang it for me as well.

==References==

<references/>

{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-11]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-08-11]]

Megan Schroeder

2015-05-08T22:50:51Z

Beanmachine91:

{{DeadLinks}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Megan Schroeder
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 23 July 1986
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| None known
|-
|}
{{timelinetop
|size = 250
|start= 2005
|end = 2008
}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) was a [[Gal pal|gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship of his life.

Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, she cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against Megan, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Bob]], [[Barb]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]] about her scheming with [[Michael Snyder]] to have him banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]], even claming to be asexual. She had a few eccentricities, which Chris was more than happy to copy and oblige, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games|games marketed to pre-teens]]. It only took [[Third date|a few games of cards]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. Megan, however, did not reciprocate this sentiment. It probably didn't help that Megan was getting Chris to buy things for her like a stereotypical wife nagging her husband:

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would obsess over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who was uncomfortable with these advances and only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality to Chris, in an effort to prevent his advances. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue to hound her. Even when Megan eventually resorted to claiming she had a boyfriend, Chris was not deterred.

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan, like Chris, enjoyed drawing cartoons, and this seems to have caught Chris's eye early in the game:

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the series of diary entries that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') soon made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (including Megagi) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on the "art" of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[anime]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes, which became large and shiny.

[[Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris [[Ego|critiqued]] some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character getting romantic with Chris, as well as being portrayed in a sexualised manner. Chris completely failed to comprehend why she was angry, but did [[retcon]] a couple of pages to tone them down. This did not placate Megan, however.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and the prizes for victory, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and the trip and use that to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost (even after extensive cheating), [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, and Megan didn't give a shit. Even when Chris began whining to her and others about how Adam and everyone else except Chris had somehow cheated, Megan didn't care either way. This childish behavior eventually resulted in Megan losing her temper with Chris, reprimanding him for his selfishness and inappropriate behavior. Despite being hurt by her outburst, Chris continued to harass Megan in much the same way as before.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}
[[Image:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|right|thumb|...aaand we've crossed it.]]

{{quote|And, by the way, is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]] <ref name="secondmessage">[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>}}

In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man crusade [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering Megan]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], which prompted an outraged Chris to try to deny accusations of incestuous desires by revealing that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref><ref name="secondmessage"/>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture depicting her and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured, making it one vain attempt after another. On 21 [[April 2008]] Megan wrote an email to Chris saying she was not comfortable being around him anymore,<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore]]</ref> thus putting an end to their friendship.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris brashly attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress '''the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her''', and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED]]</ref>

Evidence suggests that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> Chris himself has partially confirmed this account on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan+Schroeder Megan]: "When I started getting too close, [Megan] started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible homosexual."</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC merely euthanized a dying relationship rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Aftermath==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Despite Megan telling him she was no longer comfortable being in his presence, Chris was not willing to give up on her. On 11 [[2008#June|June 2008]], Chris sent an email to a person named Tyler Wane, asking Tyler to deliver Megan the birthday gift Chris bought for her (a German-English dictionary). Chris said he could not deliver her the gift himself due to being "forced into hiatus from the Pokemon League by that S.O.B. Mike". Tyler in response suggested to Chris to arrange meeting with Megan outside [[The GAMe PLACe]].<ref><[[Chris emails 2008#June]]</ref>

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]. Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan; alternatively it could have been a troll posing as her.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

=== Chris's version of events ===
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==The Blame Game==

=== Origins ===
[[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: JERK.]]
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and "some [[homos]]exual[s]" to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll".<ref>[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2#26 July]]</ref> His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to have sex with him. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another white female brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].

=== Chris Doxes Megan ===

A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

{{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|February 18, 2012]]}}

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.

[[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris' retarded attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]

On April 4, [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a July 20, 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref> Perhaps, if Chris ever starts the [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]] up again, we shall see Megan taking up the golden hair/helm of being Chris's foe.

=== Megagi La Scapegoat ===

Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

{{quote|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}

On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Megan. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]

{{quote|
You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the "theft" of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.

{{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}

=== Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===

Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen.

{{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings are quite obviously traced from the same source.
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu (Namco)|Yoshimitsu]]<ref><s>http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php#a</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|Yoshimitsu
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|THAT IS NOT CRYSTAL.
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|[[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Megan.
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|He keeps it upside down to torture her.
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|When he feels REALLY angry, he shakes it.
File:Meganfight 26.jpg|Chris victorious over the evil bitch.

</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Megan Saga|*]]

Christian's Favorite Hits!

2015-05-08T22:43:23Z

Beanmachine91:

[[Image:042-CWC'sFavoriteHits.jpg|thumb|right|The first public appearance of Sonichu.]]
'''''Christian's Favorite Hits!''''' is the CD which sparked the creation and debut of the [[Internet]]'s favorite Sonic recolor, [[Sonichu]].

==Volume 1==
Tasked with creating a jewel-case insert for graphic design class at [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris found himself once again fighting for [[autism|artistic freedom of expression]]. The draconian rules of the assignment- that he avoid using copyrighted images, required Chris to get creative.

{{quote|On the fateful day on March 17, [[2000]], I wanted to feature on my Favorite Hits CD Cover life-long hero, Sonic the Hedgehog, and cute newer character, Pikachu, but Copyrighted Characters were prohibited from the project.

So, in my mind, I pondered and pondered when it hit me visually; [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]] combined.|Chris, being creative.<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>}}

Chris claims to have gotten an A+ on the assignment.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu</ref> The other characters on the cover are Christian's original Pokémon Espanolic, Koffingroo, Plautistic, Buggzap and Strongtire. Note, many of the other drawings on the cover are also uncreative combinations of Pokémon and other objects, such as the [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood?|halo]] floating above Chris's head.

{{quote|HE IS NOT JUST A POLYMERIZED pair of Game characters; He is his own Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon Self, and I have [[parody|my own circled "C" on him]], so there.|Chris, clearing up any misunderstandings.<ref>[[:Image:0510-CWCNote9.jpg]]</ref>}}

Unsurprisingly, the CD tracklist is a very liberal interpretation of what constitutes a hit.

===Liner Notes===
[[Image:043-CWCsFavHitsIn.jpg|thumb|CD inlay. Note an early prototype of [[The Wall of Originals]] in the background.]]
[[Image:044-CWCsFavHitsBack.jpg|thumb|right|The tracklist.]]
{{quotebox|This CD contains many of my favorite songs from many CDs. The order of the songs are in order by the type of music/game in which it originated. In order, it goes as followed:

1st. Sonic music (I love that Hedgehog).

2nd. Pokemon music (I like the video games and the TCG game)

3rd. Mario music (I like the MarioKart64 and Star Fox 64 games).

And 4th. Classic Jazz (I enjoy a cool, jazzy beat).

And the order repeats till the 21st song; it finishes with two Sonic songs. All in all, all the songs are many of my favorite hits!}}

===Track listing===
# Sonic Boom. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|Sonic CD]] game. Vocal: "Pastiche."
# [[Wikipedia:Don't Say You Love Me (M2M song)|Don't Say You Love Me]]. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The First Movie (soundtrack)|Pokemon 1st Movie Soundtrack]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:M2M (band)|M2M]].
# Circuit Select. From [[Wikipedia:Mario Kart 64|Mario Kart 64]] game.
# [[Wikipedia:Love and Marriage|Love & Marriage]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]].
# Believe in Myself. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# Poke Rap. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_2.B.A._Master#Pok.C3.A9mon_2BA_MASTER|Pokemon "2.B.A Master" CD]]. Vocals: [[Wikipedia:D. Train|James "D Train" Williams]], Babi Floyd.
# Rainbow Road. From [[Wikipedia:Mario Kart 64|Mario Kart 64]] game.
# [[Wikipedia:Talk to the Animals|Talk To The Animals]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]].
# It Doesn't Matter. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# (Hey, You) Free Up Your Mind. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The First Movie (soundtrack)|Pokemon 1st Movie Soundtrack]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Emma Bunton|Emma Bunton p/k/a Baby Spice]].
# Titania + Macbeth. From [[Wikipedia:Star Fox 64|Star Fox 64 game]].
# Velevet Moon & Chico Marx. Vocal: Skip Nelson.
# My Sweet Passion. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# 2. B. A. Master. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_2.B.A._Master#Pok.C3.A9mon_2BA_MASTER|Pokemon "2.B.A Master" CD]]. Vocal: Russell Velazquez.
# Victory Lap. From [[Wikipedia:Mario Kart 64|Mario Kart 64]] game.
# [[Wikipedia:I've Got the World on a String|I've Got The World On A String]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]].
# Unknown from ME. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# We're A Miricle. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The First Movie (soundtrack)|Pokemon 1st Movie Soundtrack]].
# Koopa Troopa Beach. From [[Wikipedia:Mario Kart 64|Mario Kart 64]] game.
# 10 Feet Off The Ground. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Louis Armstrong|Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong]].
# Open Your Heart. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# Sonic & Knuckles Theme. From Virtual Sonic music CD.

==Volume 2==
[[Image:047-CWCsFavHits2.jpg|thumb|left|The HIT PARADE continues!]]
[[Image:048-CWCsFavHits2In.jpg|thumb]]

Chris made a second CD, and illustrated a cover for it on 27 July [[2000]].
{{quotebox|After making my last CD, time flew by, and more music came into my world. I have made this CD, which has many more of my favorite songs, to ad more of my favorite songs on a 2nd disc.

There is a different order of types of songs, and another type has been added. In order, it goes as followed:

1st. [[Sonic]] Music (I like that Hedgehog).

2nd. [[Pokemon]] Music (I like the video games, and the TCG game)

3rd. Classic Jazz (I enjoy a cool, jazzy beat).

and 4th. Today's [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|Rap]]/[[Guitar Hero|Rock]] (I enjoy it, but [[Bob Chandler|my Father]] does not).

And the order repeats till the 23rd song; it is a final Sonic Song. All in all, these are many more of my favorite hits! 8)}}

==Other Releases==

<gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD for [[Cole Smithey]]!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg
Image:049-Songs4Kellie.jpg|''Songs 4 [[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]
Image:050-CWCsFavHits3.jpg|''Christian's Favorite Hits 3!''
Image:051-LindaRonstadtCD.jpg|''Mas Puto!''
Image:052-LindaRonstadtIn.jpg|''Isn't that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexy?]]''
Image:053-SongsBetweenFriendsCD.jpg
Image:054-CWCsAnimeWorldCD.jpg
Image:055-CWCsAnimeWorld2CD.jpg
Image:058-CWCJam061Front.jpg
Image:059-CWCJam062Front.jpg
Image:060-CWCJam06BFront.jpg
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg
Image:CWCJam06BLable.jpg
</gallery>

== Sources ==
<references/>

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Music]]

Christian's Favorite Hits!

2015-05-08T22:41:30Z

Beanmachine91:

[[Image:042-CWC'sFavoriteHits.jpg|thumb|right|The first public appearance of Sonichu.]]
'''''Christian's Favorite Hits!''''' is the CD which sparked the creation of the [[Internet]]'s favorite Sonic recolor, [[Sonichu]].

==Volume 1==
Tasked with creating a jewel-case insert for graphic design class at [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris found himself once again fighting for [[autism|artistic freedom of expression]]. The draconian rules of the assignment- that he avoid using copyrighted images, required Chris to get creative.

{{quote|On the fateful day on March 17, [[2000]], I wanted to feature on my Favorite Hits CD Cover life-long hero, Sonic the Hedgehog, and cute newer character, Pikachu, but Copyrighted Characters were prohibited from the project.

So, in my mind, I pondered and pondered when it hit me visually; [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]] combined.|Chris, being creative.<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>}}

Chris claims to have gotten an A+ on the assignment.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu</ref> The other characters on the cover are Christian's original Pokémon Espanolic, Koffingroo, Plautistic, Buggzap and Strongtire. Note, many of the other drawings on the cover are also uncreative combinations of Pokémon and other objects, such as the [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood?|halo]] floating above Chris's head.

{{quote|HE IS NOT JUST A POLYMERIZED pair of Game characters; He is his own Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon Self, and I have [[parody|my own circled "C" on him]], so there.|Chris, clearing up any misunderstandings.<ref>[[:Image:0510-CWCNote9.jpg]]</ref>}}

Unsurprisingly, the CD tracklist is a very liberal interpretation of what constitutes a hit.

===Liner Notes===
[[Image:043-CWCsFavHitsIn.jpg|thumb|CD inlay. Note an early prototype of [[The Wall of Originals]] in the background.]]
[[Image:044-CWCsFavHitsBack.jpg|thumb|right|The tracklist.]]
{{quotebox|This CD contains many of my favorite songs from many CDs. The order of the songs are in order by the type of music/game in which it originated. In order, it goes as followed:

1st. Sonic music (I love that Hedgehog).

2nd. Pokemon music (I like the video games and the TCG game)

3rd. Mario music (I like the MarioKart64 and Star Fox 64 games).

And 4th. Classic Jazz (I enjoy a cool, jazzy beat).

And the order repeats till the 21st song; it finishes with two Sonic songs. All in all, all the songs are many of my favorite hits!}}

===Track listing===
# Sonic Boom. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|Sonic CD]] game. Vocal: "Pastiche."
# [[Wikipedia:Don't Say You Love Me (M2M song)|Don't Say You Love Me]]. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The First Movie (soundtrack)|Pokemon 1st Movie Soundtrack]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:M2M (band)|M2M]].
# Circuit Select. From [[Wikipedia:Mario Kart 64|Mario Kart 64]] game.
# [[Wikipedia:Love and Marriage|Love & Marriage]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]].
# Believe in Myself. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# Poke Rap. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_2.B.A._Master#Pok.C3.A9mon_2BA_MASTER|Pokemon "2.B.A Master" CD]]. Vocals: [[Wikipedia:D. Train|James "D Train" Williams]], Babi Floyd.
# Rainbow Road. From [[Wikipedia:Mario Kart 64|Mario Kart 64]] game.
# [[Wikipedia:Talk to the Animals|Talk To The Animals]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]].
# It Doesn't Matter. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# (Hey, You) Free Up Your Mind. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The First Movie (soundtrack)|Pokemon 1st Movie Soundtrack]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Emma Bunton|Emma Bunton p/k/a Baby Spice]].
# Titania + Macbeth. From [[Wikipedia:Star Fox 64|Star Fox 64 game]].
# Velevet Moon & Chico Marx. Vocal: Skip Nelson.
# My Sweet Passion. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# 2. B. A. Master. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_2.B.A._Master#Pok.C3.A9mon_2BA_MASTER|Pokemon "2.B.A Master" CD]]. Vocal: Russell Velazquez.
# Victory Lap. From [[Wikipedia:Mario Kart 64|Mario Kart 64]] game.
# [[Wikipedia:I've Got the World on a String|I've Got The World On A String]]. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]].
# Unknown from ME. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# We're A Miricle. From [[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The First Movie (soundtrack)|Pokemon 1st Movie Soundtrack]].
# Koopa Troopa Beach. From [[Wikipedia:Mario Kart 64|Mario Kart 64]] game.
# 10 Feet Off The Ground. Vocal: [[Wikipedia:Louis Armstrong|Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong]].
# Open Your Heart. From [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]] game.
# Sonic & Knuckles Theme. From Virtual Sonic music CD.

==Volume 2==
[[Image:047-CWCsFavHits2.jpg|thumb|left|The HIT PARADE continues!]]
[[Image:048-CWCsFavHits2In.jpg|thumb]]

Chris made a second CD, and illustrated a cover for it on 27 July [[2000]].
{{quotebox|After making my last CD, time flew by, and more music came into my world. I have made this CD, which has many more of my favorite songs, to ad more of my favorite songs on a 2nd disc.

There is a different order of types of songs, and another type has been added. In order, it goes as followed:

1st. [[Sonic]] Music (I like that Hedgehog).

2nd. [[Pokemon]] Music (I like the video games, and the TCG game)

3rd. Classic Jazz (I enjoy a cool, jazzy beat).

and 4th. Today's [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|Rap]]/[[Guitar Hero|Rock]] (I enjoy it, but [[Bob Chandler|my Father]] does not).

And the order repeats till the 23rd song; it is a final Sonic Song. All in all, these are many more of my favorite hits! 8)}}

==Other Releases==

<gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD for [[Cole Smithey]]!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg
Image:049-Songs4Kellie.jpg|''Songs 4 [[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]
Image:050-CWCsFavHits3.jpg|''Christian's Favorite Hits 3!''
Image:051-LindaRonstadtCD.jpg|''Mas Puto!''
Image:052-LindaRonstadtIn.jpg|''Isn't that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexy?]]''
Image:053-SongsBetweenFriendsCD.jpg
Image:054-CWCsAnimeWorldCD.jpg
Image:055-CWCsAnimeWorld2CD.jpg
Image:058-CWCJam061Front.jpg
Image:059-CWCJam062Front.jpg
Image:060-CWCJam06BFront.jpg
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg
Image:CWCJam06BLable.jpg
</gallery>

== Sources ==
<references/>

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Music]]

4-cent garbage.com

2015-05-08T22:36:30Z

Beanmachine91:

{{DISPLAYTITLE:4-cent_garbage.com}}
[[Image:4-cent garbage.png|thumb|INTERNET AUTISTIC HATE MACHINE]]
'''4-cent_garbage''' is [[Chris]]'s idea of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and 4chan. Since he blames ED for [[Megan Schroeder|breaking up the closest thing to a relationship that he ever had]], he must demonize it in his comics.

In the comics, it is depicted as a business based in a large 72 floor office building in which several hundred [[Trolls|employees]] work. Apparently, the business runs both a website and a magazine, the contents of which are unclear. The website seems to be analogous to the real life ED, having several articles on existing people, or at least mentioning them<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_30</ref> and a huge load of dickgirl images which are uploaded nearly constantly.
[[File:SchuComic8P11.jpg|thumb|[[Star Wars|You will never find a more wretched hive of lulz and trolling]].]]
Jason's final speech in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], as well as Chris's ramblings in the Time Void, seem to indicate that any percieved inaccuracies in the articles or images hosted on the site are deliberate attempts to slander Chris and his Sonichus.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_31</ref> Why exactly Jason would wish to do this or [[Chris and his Ego#Persecution complex|why he has chosen to target Chris]] is never addressed, but his presence at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] meeting in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]] seem to suggest that the company and all of its employees are a part of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s secret trolling cabal.

It is worth noting that this is the closest Chris has ever made it to creating an actual [[parody]].

==Inspiration==
In [[2007]], while stoking his [[Chris and his Ego|ego]], Chris discovered [[ED]]'s page satirizing him and [[Sonichu (comic)|his Sonichu comics]]. What really [[Family Guy|grinds his gears]] about the page was the "fan art" of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle|penis]]. Beginning 10 November 2007, Chris embarked on a quest to [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|make the website less scathing]] by uploading hideously drawn [[Rule 34]] of his little abominations (and [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]), along with the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to his page.

How Chris first encountered 4chan is less clear. An [[White knight e-mails#November 2007 .E2.80.94 ED alert|e-mail from a white knight]] on 5 November 2007 attempted to alert him to the ED page, and referred to the article as being created and written by the same people making fun of Chris on 4chan's /v/ board. Whether he paid any attention to the message or not, what is known is that on [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#November 2007|12 November 2007]], Chris first acknowledged 4chan when he made another edit to the "Chris-chan" article:

{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler would like [[ED]] and 4chan to know the following: '''I will continue to Shove The True Facts From My Heart and Soul Down Your Throats, only until you take this WHOLE PAGE Down For Good.'''}}

From this, it can be reasonably assumed that Chris discovered 4chan and ED around the same time, and that he considered them to be essentially one and the same. Chris would continue his Sisyphean edit war against ED well into 2008, but ultimately, all he succeeded in doing was alienating [[Megan Schroeder]].

By [[2008#August|August 2008]], Chris was finishing [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and he apparently felt the need to address these recent developments in the pages of his comic. Issue #7 opened with Megan as a supporting character in the story, but with the [[Megan Emails, 2008#Megan asks Chris to leave her alone again.2C attempts to talk sense into him|real Megan wanting nothing more to do with Chris]], he decided to write her out of the story. As for ED and 4chan, Chris would lump these two concepts together and dub them "4-cent_garbage_Magazine.com." The name is a slight mystery, because underscores (_) are not permitted in Internet domain names.

==Introduction: ''Sonichu'' #7==
''Sonichu'' #7 was the first issue of the series to be influenced by Chris's interactions with online [[trolls]]. While Chris didn't finish the comic until 20 August 2008, the events of the issue are all set in 2 November 2007, one day before the ED article was created. Just as past issues of ''Sonichu'' were very loosely based on Chris's real life, he must have wanted to acknowledge the conflict with ED/4chan and his estrangement from Megan in #7. But all of that happened ''after'' 2 November 2007.

Chris's solution was the [[Time Void]]; a poorly-defined realm where Chris's character would be trapped for the next two issues. While stranded in the Time Void, Chris would somehow experience events going on in his real life while the fictional events in the comics unfolded without him. Upon entering the Time Void, Chris found himself assaulted by "random...new memories...popping in...my head!" These were memories of things that happened after 2 November 2007, so Chris was essentially using the Time Void to "remember" the future. Along with fictional events like the [[Sonichu 9|Battle of CWCville]], Chris also experienced "memories" of [[Joshua Martinez]] setting him up with "[[Lori Lopez]]", and Megan "dumping" him via [[Megan_Emails, 2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|e-mail]].

{{quote|Dumping me? But why?!! 4-cent_garbage_Magazine.com? Mocking me? Slanderous Filth?!!! A drawing of me and [[Retcons|Meg-Chan]]... Intimate? And I drew that?!! She dumped me over that? Oh... that hurts! Still. Curse your 4-cent garbage!|Chris first mentions 4-cent_garbage in the Time Void|''Sonichu'' #7}}

It became clear from this scene that once Chris escaped from the Time Void, he would do battle with 4-cent_Garbage as a proxy for ED and 4chan, just as he had battled [[Jerkops]] and [[Manajerks]] as proxies for those who interfered with his [[Love Quest]].

==Conflict with Sonichu and Rosechu: ''Sonichu'' #8==
[[Image:4-CENT-GARBAGE.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and his super cool pals in front of the 4-cent_garbage.com headquarters]]
In the first part of ''Sonichu'' #8, "Rage Against the Garbage", 4-cent_garbage was formally introduced as a villainous organization dedicated to slandering people for the sake of amusement. (Note Chris's inability to differentiate between [[wikipedia:Defamation#Slander|slander]] and [[wikipedia:Defamation#Libel|libel]], the former of which requires spoken words or real-life gestures, impossible for a website or magazine to do.) Rosechu discovers the site on 3 November 2007, which just happens to be the date that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] created the "Chris-chan" article on ED. The site's content includes a page that slanders Sonichu, Chris, and her, along with "lifelike" drawings of Rosechu with a [[pickle]]. While Sonichu is overcome with the [[stress]] of seeing his mate depicted with a penis, Rosechu decides to fight fire with fire by editing the site, just as Chris had tried in real life. She crawls into her [[April 16 Fetish Vids|dirty, mildew-laden bathroom]] and takes pictures of herself in the [[nudes|nude]], and then uploads them onto the 4-cent website. However 4-cent_garbage simply adds more dickgirl pictures, and she realizes that her plan will never work.

Instead, she travels with [[Sonichu]] and [[Wild]] to 4-cent_garbage's headquarters in [[wikipedia:Clarksville, Tennessee|Clarksville, Tennessee]], to confront the leader of the organization. While Wild sneaks into the building in search of one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], Sonichu and Rosechu take the elevator to the top floor, and meet [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old "womanslave" [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]], who had previously cameoed in issue #7. The meeting is civil at first, but when Jason refuses to take down the "Chris-chan" page, Sonichu tries to fight him, and loses. Rosechu fares better as [[The Incredible Lioness]], having [[Chris and the law|inflicted wounds that would have killed a normal man]] in fact, but the page remains up, and their mission is ultimately a failure.

==The Fall of 4-cent_garbage: ''Sonichu'' #10==
[[File:Jason's Hexbox.jpg|thumb|Jason plots against Chris with his [[HEXBox]].]]
Upon Chris's return from the Time Void on 9 [[August 2007]], he immediately coordinates an attack on the 4-cent_garbage HQ, ordering Sonichu, Wild, [[Black Sonichu]], [[Punchy Sonichu]], and [[Son-Chu]] to meet him in front of the building. Chris arrives first as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and Jason and [[Beel]] lay a trap for him and try to steal his [[medallion]]. However, Chris discovers that the TRUE AND HONEST source of his Anchuent powers is his [[high school ring]], which he uses to retrieve the Medallion and free himself.

Later, when Chris's allies arrive, he orders Son-Chu to transform into a sound stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]. Using the [[Gitar of Fail]], Chris then leads the band in a live performance of [[Revive Zordon]], and the intense power of their music begins to shake the building apart. Inside, Jason converts his throne into an escape pod, and flees with Kathleen, leaving the others behind. Jason declares that he is retiring from trolling, in order to settle down with Kathleen and live a normal life. Chris also takes the time to use Jason as a mouthpiece to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for "slandering and torturing and innocent man", [[Hypocrisy|even though that was what Jason was supposedly doing not two issues ago]]. Beel meanwhile decides to take shelter in the basement, explaining that he could not be killed and would simply be reassigned to [[Count Graduon]] once the building was destroyed, and Clyde and Jack, alone on the top floor and with no way out, choose to commit suicide by leaping down the elevator shaft together just as the building collapses, refusing to let themselves be killed by Chris.

[[Twin Falling Towers|The building then gives way and collapses, with 1500 people still alive inside.]]

[[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]] reports that of the 1500 people who were in the building...
*500 were "[[Chris and reality|prefectly [sic] unharmed]]".
*250 were too drunk to escape on their own.
:*125 of these drunk trolls managed to get out alive with help from sober trolls.
:*125 of the drunk trolls were hurt, injured or killed.
*125 sober trolls were hurt, injured or killed.
*250 others were injured.
*150 others were "safe but hurt".
*100 were killed.

[[Honor roll|Note that this only accounts for 1,375 people.]]

Despite having just destroyed a building and killed between 100-350 innocent people, Chris then calls for the ambulances himself whilst he and his team of recolors help to rescue the survivors that they themselves had nearly killed. Afterwards, Chris then [[Chris and remorse|weeps for the victims of his own mass murder]], whilst also maintaining that it was [[Chris and his Ego|the trolls' faults they were killed, because they made fun of him on the internet]].

Supposedly, destroying 4-cent_garbage's headquarters disabled its website as well, along with Encylcopedia Dramatica's website, such that both sites' data was irrevocably lost, and neither would ever be restored.

==The 4-cent_garbage building==
4-cent_garbage appears to be a multimedia operation, with a website and a print magazine operated from a brick-and-mortar building in Clarksville, Tennessee. The location of the building is probably intended to refer to where the real Jason lives, or at least where Chris ''thinks'' he lives.

The 4-cent_garbage building is 72 stories tall (66+6, as described by [[Beel]]), and the interior is painted bright red to resemble [[CWCville|Hell]]. On the ground floor, Beel sits at the receptionist desk and directs visitors to an elevator on the far side of the atrium. Employees are seen on several higher floors drinking an alcoholic beverage called "[[Reeb]]", and passing out on the floor when their shift is over. Their work seems to involve sitting at computer terminals, uploading and editing images of Chris and his characters.

On the 72nd floor, Jason Kendrick Howell holds court with his womanslave Kathleen at his side. It is unknown where Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus were stationed in the building, or what their jobs were before the building's destruction.

Security in the building was incredibly lax. [[Wild Sonichu]] turned invisible to sneak into the upper floors in search of a [[Sonichu Ball]], only to find it left on a desk. Once he took the ball, his invisibility wore off, but he was still able to slip back out of the building unnoticed.

===The elevator gags===
[[Image:SchuRchuReactions1.jpg|thumb|Planning? In MY ''Sonichu''? It's less likely than you think.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-B.jpg|thumb|What is this, I don't even.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|thumb|That's right, the entire White House is on the 51st floor.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-D.jpg|thumb|Chris's favorite pictures from ED. Take special note of the [[pedofork|last one]]]]
A large part of "Rage Against the Garbage" features Sonichu and Rosechu exploring different floors in the 4-cent_garbage Building. Why Sonichu and Rosechu would stop at so many different floors to look around at whatever's going on is never explained, but they clearly react to whatever is depicted, meaning that they must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator controls for no good reason.

This appears to have been one of Chris's attempts to employ some of his trademark [[random-access humor]], by showing wacky stuff on each floor. Much of the material featured in these pages were images lifted directly from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], whether Chris understood their context or not. In some strange attempt at foreshadowing, Chris located these images on ED and then put them on his user page while he was still trying to edit the site.

{{quote|You'll be seeing the following images AGAIN Soon Enough.|Christian Weston Chandler, on the images he put on his ED user page, which would later be used in ''Sonichu'' #8.}}

Whatever his reasons, Chris seemed to believe that using images from ED in one of his comics would somehow be a big deal. The floors used in the comic are listed below, along with a description of what Chris put on each one.

*2nd floor: Chris draws 4-cent_garbage.com employees passed out drunk at their workstations. When the one of them recovers from his hangover and gets up, he relieves the only other conscious employee of his shift and takes over. The relieved guard then drinks a can of "[[Alcohol|Reeb]]" and passes out on the floor like the others, while Sonichu and Rosechu look on from the elevator and [[sigh]].
*3rd floor: [[Pedofork|Pedobear]] in a bathtub with the Powerpuff Girls. Sonichu doesn't understand the joke.
*4th floor: Banner reading "I hate SMRS", a reference to "[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Sonicrocksmysocks Sonicrocksmysocks]", from the ED article of the same name.
*7th floor: A 4-cent_garbage.com employee works on a drawing of Rosechu with a dick. Rosechu angrily leaves the elevator to punch him in the face, shouting "I have a vagina, uterus, and ovaries, you freak!!!"
*8th floor: Sonichu spin dashes a 4-cent_garbage.com employee working on a picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], nude and leading Sonichu by a leash.
*9th floor: Sonichu and Rosechu electrocute an employee as he works on a picture of Sonichu sucking Rosechu's penis.
*10th floor: Chris emerges from the [[Time Void]] to attack an employee working on a picture of Chris using the [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]. Sonichu and Rosechu cheer him on in unison.
*11th floor: Troll parody of artwork by [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Branca Branca], a batshit insane fan of the animated band Gorillaz. Sonichu considers it to be sad.
*12th floor: Fan art of Knuckles as a gangster, surrounded by sexualized versions of female "Sonic" characters. Sonichu [[naïve]]ly wonders when he became so popular.
*13th floor: Female versions of [[Sonic]], Tails, and Knuckles. Sonichu and Rosechu are dumbfounded.
*14th floor; Pedobear, depicted to resemble Phoenix Wright.
*21st floor: [[Wikipedia:The Bathers (Cézanne)|''Les Grandes Baigneuses'']] an 1887 painting by [[Wikipedia:Paul Cézanne|Paul Cézanne]]. ED has a copy of the image which has been edited with captions to reference the "Branca" article on ED.
*22nd floor: ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' Rule 34, from the ED article. Sonichu innocently considers it an impressive dark magic attack.
*23rd floor: An anthropomorphized Charmeleon with her arms handcuffed behind her back spreads her asscheeks, as if for sexual activity. More Rule 34 from ED's ''[[Pokémon]]'' article. Sonichu ignores the sexualized content, and boasts that he could easily defeat the Charmeleon. Well, duh, it's handcuffed.
*24th floor: Hate art of Snapesnogger's hermaphrodite naga character drawn by Zeriara.
*33rd floor: Rule 34 Art from ED's ''[[Transformers]]'' page.
*34th floor: Sonic/Amy Rose Rule 34. Sonichu cheers on his "pal" as they watch him have sex in a position very similar to the "missionary cowgirl" used by Sonichu earlier in the issue..
*35th floor: Nude artwork of Amy Rose, Rouge the Bat, and Cream the Rabbit. Sonichu and Rosechu shout "Holy Crap!" in unison.
*36th floor: Strip poker game featuring various female characters from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]''. The image has been adapted into a parody of a ''Magic: The Gathering'' Card.
*51st floor: The entire White House, with John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Hillary Clinton, looking on while [[Barack Obama]] paints the walls black. [[George W. Bush]] cheerfully knocks his eventual successor off his ladder. Sonichu and Rosechu offer no discernible reaction. Chris notes that his father [[Bob Chandler]] came up with this "joke." Recall that this story is set in the fall of ''[[2007]]'', so the joke really makes no sense for that year.
*61st floor: Erotic artwork of Dot Warner, from ''Animaniacs''.
*62nd floor: Erotic artwork of Lois Griffin, from ''[[Family Guy]]''.
*63rd floor: Erotic artwork of Marge Simpson, from ''[[The Simpsons]]''.
*64th floor: Rule 34 of Misty and a Starmie, from ''[[Pokémon]]''. Sonichu and Rosechu make out during this and the preceding three floors.
*69th floor: Image of "XBOX 360-ko", an anime-style character patterned after design elements of the XBox 360. As the following floor features an Xbox 360 console being destroyed, Chris includes a disclaimer, stating that his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] should not be connected to any lingering resentment of women.
*70th floor: Drawing by Chris of an Xbox 360 console being chopped in half with a meat cleaver. Sonichu and Rosechu applaud the instrument's destruction. The imagery is a clear indication that Chris secretly desires to murder women.
*71st floor: [[PS3]] message congratulating whoever murdered the HEXBox. It states that you may "now play your PlayStation 3 or Nintendo Wii in peace", as though the existence of a single Xbox somehow interfered with such activity.

Note that it is never addressed whether or not the images such as the Rule 34 depicted here are really just drawings on a computer or poster in the building, or if they have a physical presence. However, the fact that Sonichu cheers on Sonic as he has sex with Amy Rose suggests that they are really there.

===Business and Staff===
{{quote|I am a troll with no such beliefs, I know that we are born, then we die. I intend to make the most of my pitiful life by tormenting every person within my grasp until they all die from the shame and the distress of their existance. The page will stay up; this meeting is over!|Jason Kendrick Howell, responding to Sonichu's request to remove the "Chris-chan" page, ''Sonichu'' #8}}

4-cent_garbage does not appear to have any clear marketing objective. While this may seem like an oversight on Chris's part, it may well be a genuine commentary on the pointlessness of 4chan and ED's activities. While most people would consider them to be entertainment sites, with no other purpose than to provide humor or diversion, Chris obviously doesn't find them funny, and so he depicted 4-cent_garbage as a tower of bullies, mass-producing cruelty for its own sake. In the comic, Jason says his only goal in life is to hurt as many people as he can before he dies. While he may have only been speaking for himself, this seems to be the ''raison d'être'' for everyone else who works there.

In ''Sonichu'' #10, Beel explains that "this trolling gig is my hell", suggesting that he has been condemned to work there, possibly because he had once been "main assistant to Adolf Hitler". Unable to die, Beel would simply be damned to serve yet another villain, [[Count Graduon]], once the 4-cent_garbage building was destroyed.

While [[Clyde Cash]] had been previously depicted in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]] as an agent of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], he also appears in ''Sonichu'' #10 supporting 4-cent_garbage. Though confusing in some respects, especially concerning the canonicity of the Sonichu Specials, this dual role may not be a complete contradiction, as the exact relationship between 4-cent_garbage and [[PVCC]] is never explained.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]]
*[[Beel]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus]]
*[[The Incredible Lioness]]
*[[Revive Zordon]]
*[[Twin Falling Towers]]
*[[Chris and death]]

== External links ==
*[http://www.4chan.org/ 4chan] - A *chan imageboard and inspiration behind 4-cent_garbage's name.
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/ Encyclopedia Dramatica] - An internet satire wiki and inspiration behind 4-cent_garbage's role in the comics.
*[http://789chan.org/cwc/ /cwc/] - Another *chan imageboard which sometimes adopts the name 4-cent_garbage in reference to the comics.

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Fictional places]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:ED Saga]]