CWCki - User contributions [en]

Michael Snyder

2011-11-13T09:39:12Z

Blachman: /* Years of hatred (2008-11) */

{{Quality}}
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! '''JEW!'''|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris apologizing to Michael.]]}}
{{quote|He probably will.|Michael Snyder to the above.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Manajerk
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:HNI 0022.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Michael Snyder
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Mike
|-
| '''Birth'''
| Mid-[[1956]] (age 65)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Family'''
| Wife and daughter
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Manager of [[the GAMe PLACe]]
|-
|}

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

'''Michael "Mike" Snyder''' (born mid-1956<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</ref>; Hebrew מִיכָאֵל שניידר) is the [[manajerk|manajer]] and (as of mid-2011) owner of [[The GAMe PLACe]], a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the conclusion that Snyder was Jewish, giving him [[Niggos|yet]] [[Chris and race|another]] [[Homos|minority]] to rage at.

Probably due to his [[Naive|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]"<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>, a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew"<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>, "cold-hearted"<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> and even a [[pedofork|child molester]].<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref>. In June 2010, Chris had a run-in with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris got legal charges for a more serious attack.
==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young black kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

Chris is vague about why he thinks he was banned; he has said that ''"Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store."''<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>
==Years of hatred (2008-11)==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial]] Part 3}}

On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into The GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself is a goy.

In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris linked Michael to a conspiracy he believes the [[Greene County]] school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

Chris's violent urges against Snyder periodically came to the surface, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part3]]</ref>

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris drove to the PLACe and Mike appeared on YouTube and commented ''"Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it."'' Chris claimed that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police.<ref>[[6 June 2010]]</ref> Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several [[YouTube]] comments, most notably : ''"When I go to [[CWCville|hell]], I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other [[pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder."''<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</ref>

[[Matthew Noble call|A phonecall]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that Bob (and, presumably, Barb as well) shares Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central: ''"Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it. ''[...]'' Mike, and [[Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.''

==Shit gets real (2011-)==
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and [[Barb]] launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", now owned by Snyder. Chris faces charges of trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of an incident; Barb is up for assaulting a [[jerkop]] and failure to stop at the scene of an incident. Mike has also filed a civil suit against them both.

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube Account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Manajerks]]

November 2011

2011-11-09T11:27:42Z

Blachman:

''''November 2011''' will see more fallout from the [[28 October 2011]] incident.

==Events==
*4 November: Chris releases photographs of Michael Snyder from his latest visit to the GAMe PLACe.
*7 November - Chris goes to court to answer charges of trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of an accident. None of the charges are dropped.

{{Timeline}}

October 2011

2011-11-08T11:10:39Z

Blachman:

'''October 2011''' was mostly a quiet month for Chris, who may still be mourning his departed [[Bob|father]]. Judging from an attempt to sell an old TV on Craigslist, the Chandlers may have been attempting to sell stuff around the house to get some extra cash. Chris presumably spent the month moping around and playing [[PS3]]. The [[Calling Out]] saga from [[August 2011|August]] did not continue.

At the end of the month, things took an extreme and suprising twist, as Chris managed to put himself in very deep trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]]. As his burning hate for [[Michael Snyder]] boiled up again, he entered [[The GAMe PLACe]] for a third time since his banning, and got out with several charges, and had to spend Halloween in jail.

==Events==

*1 October - [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s 70th birthday.
*2 October - In yet another unfortunate involvement with the mainstream media, Chris inadvertently earned himself the [http://www.manboobs.co.uk/submissions/manboob_of_the_month Manboob of the Month Award]
*18 October - Chris lists an old, mid-range CRT [[Television|television]] on [[Craigslist]] for a ludicrous price of $250 "or better offer". In Chris's own [[Autism|unique words]], the television set "DEFINED SUPER BOWL SUNDAY".
*28 October - Chris [[28 October 2011|gets himself arrested]] on two misdemeanor charges (assault and tresspassing), and one felony charge (failure to stop at the scene of an accident causing over $1,000 in damage). Barb is arrested for assaulting a [[jerkop]] and failure to stop. The story behind these charges is still developing.
*31 October - Chris spends [[Halloween]] in the local jail. Barb makes a court appearance to be charged with felony assault and failure to stop.
{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

July 2011

2011-08-24T15:07:29Z

Blachman:

[[File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|thumb|The king is back.]]
'''July 2011''' saw a little more movement from Chris. A couple of his newer Internet activities was discovered, including a new facebook page, and an account on a tomboy/tomgirl forum. But things would not really start to pick up before the next month.

==Events==

* 2 July: Chris changes his [[voicemail message]] again.
* 5 July: An apparently legit new [[Facebook]] account surfaces.<ref>[[:File:Chrisfacebook2011.png]]</ref>
* 7 July: ... and then quickly disappears.
* 20 July: Chris's participation in the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum is discovered.
* 21 July: Chris reveals his identity in a Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post.
* 27 July: [[Liquid Chris]] shuts down his YouTube account. Luckily for us, his videos are all [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheCWCvilleLibrary#g/c/51E59E5BF480DBD4 archived] on the [[CWCville Library]].

==References==

<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Chris and the Internet

2011-08-24T15:03:09Z

Blachman: /* Attempts to leave the Internet */ It's all in the past now.

[[File:Bob the Lumberjack.jpg|thumb|The proper response to a [[virgin with rage]] on the Internet.]]

The '''Internet''' is a specialized computer program that allows the transmission of data over long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown immensely since its first real conception in the [[1980s]] as a means for [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|universities]] to communicate with each other; it is said that nearly 2,000,000,000 people are connected to the Internet today.

One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler|a fat, whiny, bigoted, misogynistic, egotistical manchild]], the Internet's [[Basement Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==
Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it; and if you direct a message to someone, ''only'' they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats, Jack Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|Internet girlfriends]]. Most telling is [[100 2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990s.

Chris sees no problem in dropping [[Honest Content|highly sensitive information]] over his videos — including his phone number, [[14 Branchland Court|street address]], and the secret name of [[The Wallflower|the girl]] he desperately wanted to be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"private"]] messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet for some time, yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in real life. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are polite and helpful, and generally [[Chris and the Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees all websites as vehicles to spew his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|self]]-[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|version]] of [[Honest content|the truth]]. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claimed that [[CWC_Blog#January_2010|it was he who had control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who did the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack Thaddeus|advertisers]] who paid for it.

==Forums==

Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading, simple egotism or both. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Common sense would suggest that Chris would fare well in the Internet forums, which are havens for socially retarded, thirty-something man-children who still live with [[Barbara Chandler|Mommy]] and [[Bob Chandler|Daddy]]. However, Chris has managed to fail here too. By appearing in the web as his usual nicknames or full names, and plastering ''Sonichu'' crap all over, he draws the attention of his trolls, and reacts predictably when they follow him. More importantly, if the trolls somehow fail to notice his new hangouts, he's quick to make enemies completely of his own accord, due to his [[ego]], selfishness, and complete disregard of rules.

==Bans==
[[File:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|left|Some people see [[duck|dicks]] everywhere on the Internet. Chris tends to see these instead.]]

As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.

Thanks to his screwed up conversation filter, Chris has done stupid stuff and has had stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #9 without an [[Honest content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why — comments left on his CWCipedia talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #8. Despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]; however, unlike dA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has also had posts moderated at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''. When his "article" on [[Wikipedia]] deleted and his talk page there got trolled, his account was indefinitely blocked, although the blocking admin mistakenly thought that he was a sockpuppet of a troll and not the genuine article.

His most grievous ban to date involves [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Between 29 June and 2 July, Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from the site ''four times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of realizing the fact that a [[Nintendo]]-owned website wouldn't ''like'' that sort of thing being put on their site. Because of this and other Flipnotes he had uploaded and reuploaded, the mods briefly blocked Chris's DSi from uploading any further Flipnotes. When his ban expired, Chris resurfaced on the website and reuploaded all the Flipnotes that got him banned in the first place. (The entire situation wasn't helped by try-hard trolls flagging his animations in a desperate attempt to have an impact.)

One notices a pattern in all of this — Chris has a tendency to not read a website's terms of service or gain an understanding of websites he uses. When protesting his ban from Wikipedia for violating one of their numerous rules, he argued that he didn't have the time to read the pages upon pages of fine print that stipulated what constituted acceptable behavior. When faced with a similar conflict on Flipnote, he failed to get the hint that each deleted animation was violating the terms of service, even uploading a video anyone could tell was inappropriate for the PG-13 website no less than ''four times'' before his DSi was blocked from the service.

== Attempts to leave the Internet ==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris means when he says he going to "[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|go outside and enjoy life.]]"]]

As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it — when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes home when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory — threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling that it has its own term: "[http://www.wordiq.com/definition/Flounce flouncing]".

Of course, his PS3 is still hooked up to the internet (where he plays video games, reads game forums and logs into YouTube), so he never really leaves for good, he merely changes his outlet. When Chris talks about quitting the internet, he means ceasing video and comic production, and no longer tangling with trolls.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the [[Julie]] incident; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|rant about ''The Cleveland Show'']] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the Internet just ''four days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the Internet, that he is literally afraid of the Internet.]] Chris being Chris, he returned just [[June062010.MOV|one week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''fifth'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly two weeks after his ''fifth'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the Internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

This would've been easy for the trolls to do, if Chris had just [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|stopped]] [[The MovingForward videos|making]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|videos]] — especially ones [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|addressing them]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|specifically]] ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_captured_on_video|not seeking out trolls offline couldn't hurt, either]]).

On 22 [[November 2010]] Chris [[100_2357.MOV|announced that he would be leaving the Internet]] ''yet again'', and began what would become his longest time away from the Internet. For an hereto unsurpassed period of time, Chris managed to refrain from doing something that would directly attract the attention of the trolls, although he was not completely able to repress his urge to spread his ego over the tubes, and thanks to his [[PS3]] with web connection and keyboard controller, he still made [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|occasional]] [[Autism Tutorial|efforts]] to make the world realize his greatness.

Despite his claims to have stopped socializing online, a new [[facebook]] account bearing a [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:CWCJuly2011.jpg previously unseen photograph of Chris] was discovered on 5 [[July 2011]], and two weeks later it was revealed that between 29 [[May 2011|May]] and 20 [[June 2011]] Chris was frequenting the forum [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] while trying (and [[fail]]ing) to stay anonymous. This culminated with [[Calling Out|three new videos]] released on 6 August 2011 after a 257 day YouTube hiatus.

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}

Calling Out

2011-08-10T16:37:07Z

Blachman: /* Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher */

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of four [[videos]] Chris uploaded between 6-9 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
This video, also known as '''101 2461''' , Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information as to the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka Don). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|right|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a TV-Y7 rated... [[Chris and English|friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate negotiations and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal-Pals|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my [[Lie|life]], my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out "Thorg, aka Jeremy, ([[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again, sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China|China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

[[Fail|I win]].

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands - 31 August, 2011, or else [[jerkops|the authorities]] will intervene.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito|Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands Alec, Tito and Thorg to [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later goes into a tirade over the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Michael Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, repeating the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times ad nausuem. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from the [[For My Sweetest Ivy|video for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Meul- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu|Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, essentially, I still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.
Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at THE PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia|Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts, including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn… is… a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

...And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville|Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and is owned by a child molestor! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]

Calling Out

2011-08-10T16:31:54Z

Blachman: /* Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher */

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of four [[videos]] Chris uploaded between 6-9 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
This video, also known as '''101 2461''' , Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information as to the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka Don). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|right|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a TV-Y7 rated... [[Chris and English|friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate negotiations and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal-Pals|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my [[Lie|life]], my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out "Thorg, aka Jeremy, ([[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again, sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China|China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

[[Fail|I win]].

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands - 31 August, 2011, or else [[jerkops|the authorities]] will intervene.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito|Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands Alec, Tito and Thorg to [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later goes into a tirade over the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Micheal Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, repeating the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times ad nausuem. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from the [[For My Sweetest Ivy|video for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Meul- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu|Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, essentially, I still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.
Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at THE PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia|Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts, including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn… is… a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

...And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville|Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and is owned by a child molestor! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]

August 2011

2011-08-10T10:00:59Z

Blachman:

[[File:CWC0811.PNG|thumb|Chris in August 2011]]

'''August 2011''' began with Chris and his [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|tom-pals]] planning vengeance against the CWCki.

The month also saw the reappearance of Chris on camera, as he released several videos wherein he claims to have obtained the dox on a couple of high profile trolls and tries to blackmail them.

==Events==

*6 August: Chris makes his official return to the internet after an eight month absence, uploading [[Calling Out|three videos]] in which he calls out trolls [[Surfshack Tito]] and [[Thorg]], in which he claimed to have their dox.
*9 August: Chris [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|calls out]] [[Alec]]. Then, he appears [[It's not that cold‎‎|outside]], dressed in an ill-fitting miniskirt and a red muscle bra. Chris then "digs up" Patti and wears her as a coat while humming "Goodbye Horses" and making references to The Silence of the Lambs.

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Jason Kendrick Howell message

2011-06-29T23:18:35Z

Blachman: /* Alternative Transcriptions */

The Jason Kendrick Howell voicemail message was [[Chris]]'s infantile-yet-laconic threat to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after the hacking of [[Sonichu.net]] in [[January 2009]]. In fact, Howell had nothing to do with the site's demise, for the mastermind was [[Clyde Cash|someone]] far more nefarious.

==Context==

On 6 January 2009, [[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays contacted Chris]], claiming to be an employee of [[Nintendo]]. Mays said he had been assigned to redesign Sonichu.net as part of the cross-promotion of Sonichu and [[Animal Crossing]].

In fact, Gregg was really [[Clyde Cash]], seeking vengeance for the suicide of his [[Ryan Cash|little brother]] a few weeks earlier. By 8 January, Chris entrusted him with the password to the site, and in no time at all the site was vandalized. Unable to access the site to restore it, Chris accused Gregg of being a troll and changing the password to lock him out of his Tripod account. Gregg claimed he couldn't access the site either, and suggested that he could restore it if Chris reset the password to his account. Chris complied on 10 January, and soon the account was deleted altogether.

Then, on the 12th, Mays declared that he was Jason Kendrick Howell, a.k.a. Liquid Snake, the creator of the Chris-Chan page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. After taunting Chris and demanding he make videos for his amusement, Cash finally changed his mind on [[Gregg_Mays_E-mails#January_17.2C_2009|17 January]], and admitted that he was in fact Clyde Cash all along, and not Jason Kendrick Howell.

Chris ignored this revelation, thinking it was the Jason making up yet another alias. After all, Chris had long considered Howell to be the mastermind behind all of the trolls, while Clyde was new to the scene. Further, Chris sent the ''real'' Jason an angry voice mail, and gloated about this in response to a bewildered Clyde.

Meanwhile, the TRUE AND HONEST Jason Kendrick Howell, unaware of any of this, checked his messages and this was what he got...

==The Message==
{{Template:Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|k-ZWM4nlaB8}}
| Stardate = January 17, 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; Jason Kendrick Howell's Answering Machine
| Subject = Chris reacts to the hacking of Sonichu.net.
| Saga = [[Image:Clyde_saga.png]] [[Clyde Cash]] Saga [[Image:Miyamoto_saga.png]] [[Miyamoto]] Saga
| previous = Only
| next = Only
}}

==Transcript==
[[File:100_2214.JPG|thumb|What he intended to do to Jason]]
''Answering Machine:'' First saved message

Jason Kendrick Howell... 
You BASTARD! 
You ''BASTARD!'' 
You hacked into everything! You have driven me so [[Chris and English|beyond]] the wall, I can't even describe it! 
You're laughing now, but 
{{RageQuote|I PRAY YOU DEAD!}}
Goodbye!

==Alternative Transcriptions==
[[Image:ILLBREAKYOUDEAD.jpg|thumb|Original e-mail with text of Chris's threat to Jason]]
Some argue Chris is actually saying "I'll ''break'' you dead", because the image of Chris going into [[tard rage]] mode and snapping in Jason in half ([[Sign Destruction Video|or rather clumsy attempting to]]) is quite amusing. Jason himself originally transcribed the message with Chris saying "YOU HAPPY NAPPA (?!? no idea)", rather than "You're laughing now". Given his history of [[Speech impediment|communications]] [[Chris and English|problems]], even Chris himself may have had no idea what he was trying to say.

==Legacy==

Chris would attempt to re-establish his Sonichu website several times, only to be hacked and vandalized as before. In time, Chris would view Clyde Cash as the leader of the trolls, shifting his ire away from Jason. Throughout 2009, Chris would produce numerous videos directed at Clyde, threatening him, pleading with him, or challenging him.

The rage expressed in the message would become a familiar refrain in later sagas, as Chris would often cap off a round of trolling by screaming at his camera and uploading the footage to [[YouTube]].

==See also==
*[[Death threats]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Gregg Mays E-mails]]
*[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]
*[[Chris and Anger]]
*[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], Chris and Clyde's next encounter.
*[[Sonichu 10]], when we actually get to see Chris break someone dead.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jgoz109zwym The audio recording]
*A Jason Retrospective [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ISr7Fq7EPY Part 1], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY Part 2], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LndR1s5jIRQ Part 3], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG_ySvT2Qg4 Part 4], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umvpa89jZRU Part 5], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN2-41BQvqU Part 6 (5.2)] Jason's commentary on the early history of Chris-Chan trolling, including his POV on the "I'll BREAK YOU DEAD" message.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

June 2011

2011-06-13T16:09:20Z

Blachman:

'''June 2011''' has begun without incident.

==Events==

* 2 June: Chris changes his [[PSN|PSN]] comment to "[[Chris and English|I No Socialize Online]]"
* 6 June: Chris uploads a new [[3DS Flipnote|Flipnote]] demanding that Flipnote Studio be brought to the 3DS
==References==

<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

April 2011

2011-05-03T10:25:24Z

Blachman:

'''April 2011''' began with Chris continuing to play [[PS3]] and hiding from [[troll]]s, and for most of the month, the only real thing to come out from Chris was a Playstation Network comment, wherein he proclaimed to be a "Tomgirl".

At the end of the month, the context for this weird statement was revealed, as the PSN suffered a worldwide security breach, which lead to Chris's account being hacked again, and shortly thereafter, a bunch of pictures wherein Chris dresses and does makeup like a woman and then goes out in public surfaced on the Internet. It is hotly debated whether this means that Chris is coming out of the closet or that it is yet another plan pertaining to his [[Love Quest]].

==Events==

* 14 April: [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], the website that made Chris infamous, is taken down and replaced with [http://ohinternet.com/Main_Page Oh Internet]. Chris [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|finally got his wish]].
* 16 April: It does not last long however, as a semi-complete mirror of Encyclopedia Dramatica, including the Chris-chan page, is established.
* 21 April: [[PlayStation Network]] shuts down after an [[rape|"external-intrusion"]] by hackers, rendering Chris's [[PS3]] unable to connect to the internet and [[PlayStation_Network#Spending_history|impulse-buy large amounts of vidya]].
* 29 April: Several pictures of Chris [[Tomgirl Pictures|dressed as a woman]] are released.

==References==

<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

April 2011

2011-04-30T20:40:13Z

Blachman:

April 2011

2011-04-30T20:39:38Z

Blachman:

'''April 2011''' has begun with Chris continuing to play [[PS3]] and hiding from [[troll]]s, and for most of the month, the only real thing to come out from Chris was a Playstation Network comment, wherein he proclaimed to be a "Tomgirl".

At the end of the month, the context for this weird statement was revealed, as the PSN suffered a worldwide security breach, which lead to Chris's account being hacked again, and shortly thereafter, a bunch of pictures wherein Chris dresses and does makeup like a woman and then goes out in public surfaced on the Internet. It is hotly debated whether this means that Chris is coming out of the closet or that it is yet another plan pertaining to his [[Love Quest]].

==Events==

* 29 April: Several pictures of Chris [[Tomgirl Pictures|dressed as a woman]] are released.

==References==

<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2011

2011-04-29T15:29:04Z

Blachman:

[[File:TG11.jpg|250px|thumb|[[Chris]] in '''2011''']]

'''2011''' is the third year of organized trolling of the [[Internet]]'s favorite LOLcow, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2011, Chris will turn 29. The year started out in the shadow of Chris's sixth declaration of leaving the Internet. In spite of this, Chris has been taking refuge on the [[PlayStation Network]], which has allowed the occasional bit of new material to surface.

==January==
{{main|January 2011}}
Not much happened this month. Just as it was excepted of him, Chris bought ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2'', and spend most of the last half of the month playing it. On a more interesting note, Chris's [[Disguises|pseudonym]] [[JenkinsJinkies]] was outed, and his exploits on the [[Trollin Train]] forums from July-August 2010 was made public.

==February==
{{main|February 2011}}

This month saw the release of several of Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' levels, including [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]] and the [[Autism Tutorial]]s.

==March==
{{main|March 2011}}
An old pile of [[phone calls]] way back from the [[Liquid]]/[[Kacey]] saga was released to the Internet at the beginning of the month.

==April==
{{main|April 2011}}
As the [[Playstation Network]] suffered a long downtime, Chris's account is hacked again, [[Tomgirl Pictures|revealing pictures]] of Chris showing off his "[[Homos|Tomgirl]]" side.

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

I Got A Fish

2011-04-28T20:57:06Z

Blachman: Added fan video.

In the '''"I Got A Fish"''' video, [[Chris]] jog-dances in place while a stupid song full of [[random access humor]] that he made up plays in the background. Despite his claims, he does not actually have a fish.

The video is one of the few cases where [[Toucher and Rich Segment|the mainstream ''media'']] got in on it.

{{quote|Welcome to the David Lynch movie of your nightmares. | WBCN, hitting the nail on the head.}}

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = I Got A Fish
| image = {{#ev:youtube|6DDOeNMWBQk}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 27 April 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] Music
| Performance Style = [[Image:Comedy.png]] [[Random-access humor|Comedy]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Classicshirt.png]] Classic Shirt
| previous = [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]
| next = [[Power]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:Tardfish.png|thumb|right|He's got a fish, would you like to make a wish?]]

[''song is delivered via voice-over as Chris mutely jog-dances in place'']

:I got a fish!
:Would ya like to make a wish?

:I got a fish!
:Would ya like to make a wish?

:I got a ''fiiiiiiiiish!'' [''spreads arms wide to accompany wobbly falsetto'']
:Would ya like to make a ''wish?'' [''poses like a [[homo]]'']

== Fan videos ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = I've seen Chris-chan things - Scampi
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9bYwW66xMtE}}
| Stardate = 7 December 2010
| Maker = AnimuAnimalia
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]|nextlink=[[Power]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-27]]

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2011-04-21T08:55:21Z

Blachman: Added fan video.

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 4''', [[Chris]] uses his ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' soapbox to rail at society at large for ignoring him, not letting him do whatever ''he'' wants, and shunning him for being creepy.

Chris starts off by describing [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|gCXlpTb0FmU}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)''

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [[wikipedia:Thomas Jefferson|Mr. Thomas Jefferson]], [[wikipedia:James Monroe|Mr. James Monroe]], and [[wikipedia:James Madison|Mr. James Madison]]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the Fashion Square Shopping Center, should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their [[Lies|misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything.]] I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

[[File:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|thumb|right|Chris being a good friend.]]
Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[Chris and his Ego|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. I would only lie to protect the other person's feelings out of care and respect. [[Ryan Cash|I]] [[Mike Jackson|AM]] [[Homos|NOT]] [[Megan|A]] [[Kacey|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Homos|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. [[Mailbag|Snobbish, snooty...]] to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have [[Mic|one friend]] who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

''(The sackpeople stare at each other like retards for the remaining few seconds of video)''

[''Subtitles:'']
[''Hey, Chris.'']
[''Hey, Mic.'']
[''I have friends to introduce you to. Follow me to El Kono.'']
[''Really?! That Is Awesome. Let's go.'']

== Fan video ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = cwc lie detector
| video = {{#ev:youtube|INOdnCJjnA4}}
| Stardate = 19 March 2011
| Maker = NeverOnHexBox
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Chris and the Internet

2011-04-21T08:42:52Z

Blachman: /* Attempts to leave the Internet */

[[File:Bob the Lumberjack.jpg|thumb|240px|right|The proper response to a [[virgin with rage]] on the Internet.]]

The '''Internet''' is a specialized computer program that allows the transmission of data over long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown immensely since its first real conception in the [[1980s]] as a means for [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|universities]] to communicate with each other; it is said that nearly 2,000,000,000 people are connected to the Internet today.

One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler|a fat, whiny, bigoted, misogynistic, egotistical manchild]], the Internet's [[Basement Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==
Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it; and if you direct a message to someone, ''only'' they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats, Jack Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|Internet girlfriends]]. Most telling is [[100 2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990s.

Chris sees no problem in dropping [[Honest Content|highly sensitive information]] over his videos — including his phone number, [[14 Branchland Court|street address]], and the secret name of [[The Wallflower|the girl]] he desperately wanted to be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"private"]] messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet for some time, yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in real life. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are polite and helpful, and generally [[Chris and the Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees all websites as vehicles to spew his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|self]]-[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|version]] of [[Honest content|the truth]]. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claims that [[CWC_Blog#January_2010|it is he who has control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who does the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack Thaddeus|advertisers]] who pay for it.

==Forums and bans==
[[File:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|240px|left|Some people see [[duck|dicks]] everywhere on the Internet. Chris tends to see these instead.]]
As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.

Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading, simple egotism or both. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Common sense would suggest that Chris would fare well in the Internet forums, which are havens for socially retarded, thirty-something man-children who still live with [[Barbara Chandler|Mommy]] and [[Bob Chandler|Daddy]]. However, Chris has managed to fail here too. By appearing in the web as his usual nicknames or full names, and plastering ''Sonichu'' crap all over, he draws the attention of his trolls, and reacts predictably when they follow him. More importantly, if the trolls somehow fail to notice his new hangouts, he's quick to make enemies completely of his own accord, due to his [[ego]], selfishness, and complete disregard of rules.

Thanks to his screwed up conversation filter, Chris has done stupid stuff and has had stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #9 without an [[Honest content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why — comments left on his CWCipedia talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #8. Despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]; however, unlike dA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has also had posts moderated at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''. When his "article" on [[Wikipedia]] deleted and his talk page there got trolled, his account was indefinitely blocked, although the blocking admin mistakenly thought that he was a sockpuppet of a troll and not the genuine article.

His most grievous ban to date involves [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Between 29 June and 2 July, Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from the site ''four times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of realizing the fact that a [[Nintendo]]-owned website wouldn't ''like'' that sort of thing being put on their site. Because of this and other Flipnotes he had uploaded and reuploaded, the mods briefly blocked Chris's DSi from uploading any further Flipnotes. When his ban expired, Chris resurfaced on the website and reuploaded all the Flipnotes that got him banned in the first place. (The entire situation wasn't helped by try-hard trolls flagging his animations in a desperate attempt to have an impact.)

One notices a pattern in all of this — Chris has a tendency to not read a website's terms of service or gain an understanding of websites he uses. When protesting his ban from Wikipedia for violating one of their numerous rules, he argued that he didn't have the time to read the pages upon pages of fine print that stipulated what constituted acceptable behavior. When faced with a similar conflict on Flipnote, he failed to get the hint that something in all of those videos was violating the terms of service, uploading a video anyone could tell was inappropriate for the PG-13 website no less than ''four times'' before his DSi was blocked from the service.

== Attempts to leave the Internet ==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|240px|right|This is what Chris means when he says he going to "[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|go outside and enjoy life.]]"]]
As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it — when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes home when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory — threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling it has its own [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Flounce article].

Of course, his PS3 is still hooked up to the internet (where he plays videogames, reads game forums and logs into YouTube), so he never really leaves for good, he merely changes his outlet. When Chris talks about quitting the internet, he means ceasing video and comic production, and no longer tangling with trolls.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the [[Julie]] incident; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|rant about ''The Cleveland Show'']] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the Internet just ''four days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the Internet, that he is literally afraid of the Internet.]] Chris being Chris, he returned just [[June062010.MOV|one week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''fifth'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly two weeks after his ''fifth'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the Internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

This would've been easy for the trolls to do, if Chris had just [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|stopped]] [[The MovingForward videos|making]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|videos]] — especially ones [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|addressing them]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|specifically]] ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_captured_on_video|not seeking out trolls offline couldn't hurt, either]]).

Chris [[100_2357.MOV|finally left the internet]] "for good" on 22 [[November 2010]]. As anyone with half a brain could probably guess, Chris has not completely gone off the internet, and is still extensively using web based services such as the Playstation Network and YouTube. What it actually means is that he refrains from doing things that would outright attract the attention of the trolls, such as making videos or using social sites. And while he has been able to keep the silence up for an unsurpassed period of time, he has not been completely able to repress his urge to spread his ego over the tubes, and thanks to his [[PS3]] with web connection and keyboard controller, he still makes the [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|occasional]] [[Autism Tutorial|effort]] to make the world realize his greatness. As he has not had access to a working computer since the end of the Jackie saga, he is unlikely to have read the emails he has received.

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}

Chris and the Internet

2011-04-04T08:08:23Z

Blachman: /* Attempts to leave the Internet */

[[File:Bob the Lumberjack.jpg|thumb|240px|right|The proper response to a [[virgin with rage]] on the Internet.]]

The '''Internet''' is a specialized computer program that allows the transmission of data over long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown immensely since its first real conception in the [[1980s]] as a means for [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|universities]] to communicate with each other; it is said that nearly 2,000,000,000 people are connected to the Internet today.

One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler|a fat, whiny, bigoted, misogynistic, egotistical manchild]], the Internet's [[Basement Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==
Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it; and if you direct a message to someone, ''only'' they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats, Jack Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|Internet girlfriends]]. Most telling is [[100 2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990s.

Chris sees no problem in dropping [[Honest Content|highly sensitive information]] over his videos — including his phone number, [[14 Branchland Court|street address]], and the secret name of [[The Wallflower|the girl]] he desperately wanted to be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"private"]] messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet for some time, yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in real life. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are polite and helpful, and generally [[Chris and the Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees all websites as vehicles to spew his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|self]]-[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|version]] of [[Honest content|the truth]]. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claims that [[CWC_Blog#January_2010|it is he who has control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who does the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack Thaddeus|advertisers]] who pay for it.

==Forums and bans==
[[File:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|240px|left|Some people see [[duck|dicks]] everywhere on the Internet. Chris tends to see these instead.]]
As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.

Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading, simple egotism or both. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Common sense would suggest that Chris would fare well in the Internet forums, which are havens for socially retarded, thirty-something man-children who still live with [[Barbara Chandler|Mommy]] and [[Bob Chandler|Daddy]]. However, Chris has managed to fail here too. By appearing in the web as his usual nicknames or full names, and plastering ''Sonichu'' crap all over, he draws the attention of his trolls, and reacts predictably when they follow him. More importantly, if the trolls somehow fail to notice his new hangouts, he's quick to make enemies completely of his own accord, due to his [[ego]], selfishness, and complete disregard of rules.

Thanks to his screwed up conversation filter, Chris has done stupid stuff and has had stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #9 without an [[Honest content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why — comments left on his CWCipedia talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #8. Despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]; however, unlike dA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has also had posts moderated at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''. When his "article" on [[Wikipedia]] deleted and his talk page there got trolled, his account was indefinitely blocked, although the blocking admin mistakenly thought that he was a sockpuppet of a troll and not the genuine article.

His most grievous ban to date involves [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Between 29 June and 2 July, Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from the site ''four times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of realizing the fact that a [[Nintendo]]-owned website wouldn't ''like'' that sort of thing being put on their site. Because of this and other Flipnotes he had uploaded and reuploaded, the mods briefly blocked Chris's DSi from uploading any further Flipnotes. When his ban expired, Chris resurfaced on the website and reuploaded all the Flipnotes that got him banned in the first place. (The entire situation wasn't helped by try-hard trolls flagging his animations in a desperate attempt to have an impact.)

One notices a pattern in all of this — Chris has a tendency to not read a website's terms of service or gain an understanding of websites he uses. When protesting his ban from Wikipedia for violating one of their numerous rules, he argued that he didn't have the time to read the pages upon pages of fine print that stipulated what constituted acceptable behavior. When faced with a similar conflict on Flipnote, he failed to get the hint that something in all of those videos was violating the terms of service, uploading a video anyone could tell was inappropriate for the PG-13 website no less than ''four times'' before his DSi was blocked from the service.

== Attempts to leave the Internet ==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|240px|right|This is what Chris means when he says he going to "[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|go outside and enjoy life.]]"]]
As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it — when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes home when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory — threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling it has its own [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Flounce article].

Of course, his PS3 is still hooked up to the internet (where he plays videogames, reads game forums and logs into YouTube), so he never really leaves for good, he merely changes his outlet. When Chris talks about quitting the internet, he means ceasing video and comic production, and no longer tangling with trolls.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the [[Julie]] incident; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|rant about ''The Cleveland Show'']] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the Internet just ''four days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the Internet, that he is literally afraid of the Internet.]] Chris being Chris, he returned just [[June062010.MOV|one week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''fifth'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly two weeks after his ''fifth'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the Internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

This would've been easy for the trolls to do, if Chris had just [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|stopped]] [[The MovingForward videos|making]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|videos]] — especially ones [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|addressing them]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|specifically]] ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_captured_on_video|not seeking out trolls offline couldn't hurt, either]]).

Chris [[100_2357.MOV|finally left the internet]] "for good" on 22 [[November 2010]]. While Chris have managed to largely refrain from making something that would attract the attention of the trolls for the longest period of time since his raise to Lolcow fame, it is assumed that it is not really by the power of his own will, but rather because either Rocky and/or Bob and Barb have finally exercised what little authority they hold over him. And indeed, Chris has not had access to a working computer ever since the end of the Jackie saga, and is therefore unable to read the emails he receives. Chris has, however, not been completely able to completely repress his urge for spreading his ego over the tubes, and thanks to his [[PS3]] with web connection and keyboard controller, he still makes the [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|occasional]] [[Autism Tutorial|effort]] to make the world realize his greatness.

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}

April 2011

2011-04-04T07:34:51Z

Blachman:

'''April 2011''' has begun with Chris continuing to play [[PS3]] and hiding from [[troll]]s.

==Events==
*None as yet.

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Autism Tutorial Extra

2011-04-03T16:54:22Z

Blachman:

{{quote|'''Ja!'''|Hans Asperger}}

'''Autism Tutorial Extra''' is a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level created by [[Chris]] where he proves, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|once again]] that he's in complete denial of what [[Asperger syndrome]] really is. It is noteworthy that the level works in the same way for the [[Autism Tutorial]], as the [[Sub-Episodes]] did for the [[Sonichu comic]], namely with Chris proving his superiority over an obvious strawman by psychically assaulting him and then prattling on about how much unbearable torment the strawman in question has inflicted upon him. Chris also mispronounces Asperger as “Ass Burger” the entire time, [[Jack_Thaddeus_Phone_Call_2|showing he's learned nothing]].

Interestingly, though Chris lambasts Asperger for not leaving the term autism "as it was," "autism" was initially used to describe narcissistic symptoms of schizophrenia before Asperger's 1938 lecture. Asperger's work helped distinguish autism as we know it today from more dangerous mental disorders. Furthermore, Hans's paper never refers to autistics as psychopaths, invalidating another one of Chris's claims.
==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|Am4f9P5LPs8}}</Center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:Hans_asperger.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Hans Asperger was a famed pediatrician whose work to improve the quality of life for autistic children earned him international renown and the admiration of thousands.]]
[[Image:Aspergered.jpg|thumb|right|In this video, Chris beats him up because he doesn't like his last name.]]
And now, ladies and gentlemen, because apparently after you decided to watch last part--after watching the Autism Tutorial, we have a special guest for you today! Please put your hands together for a reasonably facsimile of, Mr. Hans Asperger!

(Hans Asperger is seen at the far end of the stage. He has gigantic bulging eyes and wears a crown. Chris walks over to join him, standing [[Homos|almost intimately close]] to shake his hand, as a backdrop and desk fall from the sky to complete the talk-show atmosphere. After Chris walks over to his desk, Hans smiles and waves to an audience silent as the grave.)

I am your host, Christian Chandler, on this '''[[Duck|short]]''' talk show. And this is Mr. Hans Asperger. Now, let's talk about him for a bit: Now, apparently--Mr. Hans Asperger. From the Vienna University Hospital in 1938--Oh, how ''recent!''--you gave a lecture in Germany, on "[[Chris|Autistic Psychopaths]]", after investigating a mild form of Autism. Isn't that right, Hans?

(Hans turns to face Chris.)

'''Hans:''' Ja!

And also, apparently, this separate diagnosis, as it is quoted, was not recognized until 1991. Only one year before I was born. Although coined from your name, Mr. Asperger, apparently a Mr. [[Wikipedia:Leo Kanner|Leo Kanner]] took the study much further and established the term "Early Infantile Autism". Do you applaud Mr. Kanner for his work?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

''I see''. Now, in my feeling alone--possibly mutual with others--the name Asperger. It strikes me badly, and I feel offended just by hearing the word. Do you feel I have the right to my own opinions and feelings as an individual person, Hans?

'''Hans:''' Ja! (It is clear by now that Hans does not understand English.)

Thank you very much, good sir. Now, do you feel--do you feel bad about having a name that sounds like a bad cut of cow meat?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you feel that I, Christian Weston Chandler, do not deserve any blame or punishment for having an opinion of a single word, such as Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you have a general understanding about how I feel about you now?

(Something falls from the sky and lands atop Chris's desk.)

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(Chris walks over to Hans again, once again intimately close.)

Are you ''positive'' you really understand how I feel about you, Mr. Hans Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(Chris gives a wide, deceptive smile as he goes back and forth with Hans.)

[[Random Access Humor|Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!]]

(Chris is suddenly very annoyed. He bitch-slaps Hans to the ground. It is also revealed that Hans has a tail.)

[[Wikipedia:Baka_(fool)|Baka]]!

(Hans quickly regains his footing, facing away from Chris and looking over his shoulder in terror.)

I feel dislike towards you! For selfishly putting your ill name in association with autism! And with a name like Asperger! I feel it only makes us Autistic kind sound ''even worse!'' ''Aspergers.'' You shoulda left it as it was!. Autism is autism! And in your research you linked it up with psychopaths! I feel even more offended at ''that!'' Now get out of my sight!

'''Hans:''' Ja! (Hans quickly runs off the stage.)

(Chris looks out over the audience, crossing his hands in front of him.)

I do apologize for that, uh, rude outburst, [[Trolls|folks]]. But then again, that was just the way I felt and have been feeling about the word "Asperger" since I first heard it a few years ago. It is my second least favorite word, where my first least favorite of all time is "[[Naive]]". Again, I apologize if I came off as bad to anybody, or made them feel bad, for the way I acted. But then again, I do get emotional and carried away sometimes. Thank you for watching, and have a good, safe, and blessed day.

(The game cuts to Hans standing in some sort of Level Completion area, still terrified. He stands there, legs quaking, as the screen behind him rattles off the achievements. Some tiny explosions of what appear to be glass go off around Hans's head as the video ends.)

===Captions===
<nowiki>**</nowiki>Note, this is a satire, with Facts from the Wikipedia's Autism Page. 
This does not reflect the person or opinion(s) of the actual Mr. Hans Asperger. 
And no personal offense is intended on the actual person or any person 
Internationally of his home country or homeland(s), including any relatives and friends. 
Also, no offense to those with said-named Mild Autism. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>As stated earlier in the Autism Tutorial Animation. 
Autistic people are Not Crazy People. It is Very Rare to find someone with a 
"Psychopathic" Mental Illness who is also Autistic in any form. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>I was born on February 24, 1982. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>The LittleBiGPlanet Crown on Hans is only a Copy from a passing acquaintance who shared it; 
I do not currently Own the Real Game Data that grants me the Crown for Real. 
And I realy want a code for one, as well as ALL of the Beta Costumes. 
Including the Bug-Buster Outfit and Life Jacket. M.M., PLEASE, make the Beta Costumes 
available for Sale on the PlayStation Store Now! 
"Asperger" is my second least favorite word of the English language; 
My Top Least Favorite is "Naive", because it Questions an individual's 
mental capabilities and intelligence.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Current]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Extra

2011-04-03T16:53:55Z

Blachman:

{{quote|'''Ja!'''|Hans Asperger}}

'''Autism Tutorial Extra''' is a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level created by [[Chris]] where he proves, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|once again]] that he's in complete denial of what [[Asperger syndrome]] really is. Noteworthy, the level works in the same way for the [[Autism Tutorial]], as the [[Sub-Episodes]] did for the [[Sonichu comic]], namely with Chris proving his superiority over an obvious strawman by psychically assaulting him and then prattling on about how much unbearable torment the strawman in question has inflicted upon him. Chris also mispronounces Asperger as “Ass Burger” the entire time, [[Jack_Thaddeus_Phone_Call_2|showing he's learned nothing]].

Interestingly, though Chris lambasts Asperger for not leaving the term autism "as it was," "autism" was initially used to describe narcissistic symptoms of schizophrenia before Asperger's 1938 lecture. Asperger's work helped distinguish autism as we know it today from more dangerous mental disorders. Furthermore, Hans's paper never refers to autistics as psychopaths, invalidating another one of Chris's claims.
==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|Am4f9P5LPs8}}</Center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:Hans_asperger.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Hans Asperger was a famed pediatrician whose work to improve the quality of life for autistic children earned him international renown and the admiration of thousands.]]
[[Image:Aspergered.jpg|thumb|right|In this video, Chris beats him up because he doesn't like his last name.]]
And now, ladies and gentlemen, because apparently after you decided to watch last part--after watching the Autism Tutorial, we have a special guest for you today! Please put your hands together for a reasonably facsimile of, Mr. Hans Asperger!

(Hans Asperger is seen at the far end of the stage. He has gigantic bulging eyes and wears a crown. Chris walks over to join him, standing [[Homos|almost intimately close]] to shake his hand, as a backdrop and desk fall from the sky to complete the talk-show atmosphere. After Chris walks over to his desk, Hans smiles and waves to an audience silent as the grave.)

I am your host, Christian Chandler, on this '''[[Duck|short]]''' talk show. And this is Mr. Hans Asperger. Now, let's talk about him for a bit: Now, apparently--Mr. Hans Asperger. From the Vienna University Hospital in 1938--Oh, how ''recent!''--you gave a lecture in Germany, on "[[Chris|Autistic Psychopaths]]", after investigating a mild form of Autism. Isn't that right, Hans?

(Hans turns to face Chris.)

'''Hans:''' Ja!

And also, apparently, this separate diagnosis, as it is quoted, was not recognized until 1991. Only one year before I was born. Although coined from your name, Mr. Asperger, apparently a Mr. [[Wikipedia:Leo Kanner|Leo Kanner]] took the study much further and established the term "Early Infantile Autism". Do you applaud Mr. Kanner for his work?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

''I see''. Now, in my feeling alone--possibly mutual with others--the name Asperger. It strikes me badly, and I feel offended just by hearing the word. Do you feel I have the right to my own opinions and feelings as an individual person, Hans?

'''Hans:''' Ja! (It is clear by now that Hans does not understand English.)

Thank you very much, good sir. Now, do you feel--do you feel bad about having a name that sounds like a bad cut of cow meat?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you feel that I, Christian Weston Chandler, do not deserve any blame or punishment for having an opinion of a single word, such as Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you have a general understanding about how I feel about you now?

(Something falls from the sky and lands atop Chris's desk.)

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(Chris walks over to Hans again, once again intimately close.)

Are you ''positive'' you really understand how I feel about you, Mr. Hans Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(Chris gives a wide, deceptive smile as he goes back and forth with Hans.)

[[Random Access Humor|Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!]]

(Chris is suddenly very annoyed. He bitch-slaps Hans to the ground. It is also revealed that Hans has a tail.)

[[Wikipedia:Baka_(fool)|Baka]]!

(Hans quickly regains his footing, facing away from Chris and looking over his shoulder in terror.)

I feel dislike towards you! For selfishly putting your ill name in association with autism! And with a name like Asperger! I feel it only makes us Autistic kind sound ''even worse!'' ''Aspergers.'' You shoulda left it as it was!. Autism is autism! And in your research you linked it up with psychopaths! I feel even more offended at ''that!'' Now get out of my sight!

'''Hans:''' Ja! (Hans quickly runs off the stage.)

(Chris looks out over the audience, crossing his hands in front of him.)

I do apologize for that, uh, rude outburst, [[Trolls|folks]]. But then again, that was just the way I felt and have been feeling about the word "Asperger" since I first heard it a few years ago. It is my second least favorite word, where my first least favorite of all time is "[[Naive]]". Again, I apologize if I came off as bad to anybody, or made them feel bad, for the way I acted. But then again, I do get emotional and carried away sometimes. Thank you for watching, and have a good, safe, and blessed day.

(The game cuts to Hans standing in some sort of Level Completion area, still terrified. He stands there, legs quaking, as the screen behind him rattles off the achievements. Some tiny explosions of what appear to be glass go off around Hans's head as the video ends.)

===Captions===
<nowiki>**</nowiki>Note, this is a satire, with Facts from the Wikipedia's Autism Page. 
This does not reflect the person or opinion(s) of the actual Mr. Hans Asperger. 
And no personal offense is intended on the actual person or any person 
Internationally of his home country or homeland(s), including any relatives and friends. 
Also, no offense to those with said-named Mild Autism. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>As stated earlier in the Autism Tutorial Animation. 
Autistic people are Not Crazy People. It is Very Rare to find someone with a 
"Psychopathic" Mental Illness who is also Autistic in any form. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>I was born on February 24, 1982. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>The LittleBiGPlanet Crown on Hans is only a Copy from a passing acquaintance who shared it; 
I do not currently Own the Real Game Data that grants me the Crown for Real. 
And I realy want a code for one, as well as ALL of the Beta Costumes. 
Including the Bug-Buster Outfit and Life Jacket. M.M., PLEASE, make the Beta Costumes 
available for Sale on the PlayStation Store Now! 
"Asperger" is my second least favorite word of the English language; 
My Top Least Favorite is "Naive", because it Questions an individual's 
mental capabilities and intelligence.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Current]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

April 2011

2011-04-03T16:49:50Z

Blachman: Created page with "So far nothing has happened. It is currently expected that Chris will continue to use all his waken moments playing PS3 and hiding from the trolls. {{Timeline}} [[Category:Chron..."

So far nothing has happened. It is currently expected that Chris will continue to use all his waken moments playing PS3 and hiding from the trolls.

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2011

2011-03-15T12:34:15Z

Blachman: /* March */

'''2011''' is the third year of organized trolling of the [[Internet]]'s favorite LOLcow, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2011, Chris will turn 29. The year started out in the shadow of Chris's sixth declaration of leaving the Internet. In spite of this, Chris has been taking refuge on the [[PlayStation Network]].

==January==
{{main|January 2011}}
Not much happened this month. Just as it was excepted of him, Chris bought ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2'', and spend most of the last half of the month playing it. On a more interesting note, Chris's [[Disguises|pseudonym]] [[JenkinsJinkies]] was outed, and his exploits on the [[Trollin Train]] forums from July-August 2010 was made public.

==February==
{{main|February 2011}}

This month saw some of the fruit of Chris's, well, continuous labor in ''LittleBigPlanet 2''. Including [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]] and the very egocentric [[Autism Tutorial]], showing once again that Chris will always find an outlet for his massive megalomania.

==March==
:''Main article: [[March 2011]]''
An old pile of [[phone calls]] way back from the [[Liquid]]/[[Kacey]] saga was released to the Internet at the beginning of the month.

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2011

2011-03-15T12:29:41Z

Blachman:

Kacey and Liquid Call

2011-03-06T21:22:08Z

Blachman:

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Fattus goddammus'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and Solid Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) mostly consists of Solid trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point Solid, loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]] and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Ian's behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Ian responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Ian only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Solid Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Ian is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Ian begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Ian states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Ian declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Ian of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Ian is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Ian doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Ian whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Ian to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Transcript==

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that.
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' Kim and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society.
 [''long pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much. 
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ... Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them. 
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. Just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am— You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the wilds of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' Because he has... He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''breaking down''] I have been honest and true.
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second. [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying
hello
.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— He's been a liar the whole time, you know it...
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. Are you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' [''unintelligible''] It was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 [''tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?eojywemfkom the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&feature=channel the call on YouTube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies

2011-02-23T05:01:40Z

Blachman: /* Prickly-Wicklies */

'''"A Warm Fuzzy Tale"''' is a story written by Claude Steiner, a Clinical Psychologist Professor. His book had as a goal the teaching of children that acts of love cost nothing and are worth giving. [[Chris]], who might have read the book (or had the book read to him), felt the need to include those pieces of wisdom in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and his "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]":

{{Quote|War is never the answer; peace is. Never fight. Compliments will get you fuzzy-wuzzies. War gets you prickly-wicklies... as well as punches. They get you those, too. Thank you very much, and have a wonderful day.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

==Fuzzy-Wuzzies==
According to Chris, Fuzzy-Wuzzies are the reward for paying people compliments. The benefits of gaining fuzzy-wuzzies are unclear, although there is surely [[Megan|someone]] out there who can describe the consequences of paying Chris a compliment. In any event, fuzzy-wuzzies are surely preferable to the noxious prickly-wicklies.

Chris is probably unaware that "fuzzy-wuzzy" is also a [[racist]] term for the [[Wikipedia:Hadendoa|Hadendoa]] [[niggos|people]].

==Prickly-Wicklies==
[[Image:Rotathgoldenskull4.jpg|thumb|right|You're apt to find plenty of these accompanying Prickly-Wicklies.]]
Prickly-Wicklies (not to be confused with plain old [[Duck|pricks]]) are, on the other hand, the undesirable end result of going to war. Although doubtlessly making perfect sense to him, Chris fails to elaborate on the consequences of this forfeit. Prickly-wicklies could therefore constitute anything from scorn for engaging in combat, to painful, prolonged death in a mustard-gas clouded barrack.
Prickly-wicklies are also known to give people slugs,<ref>Sonichu #4, Page 7 [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_4/Page_7]</ref> as opposed to their antithesis, fuzzy-wuzzies, which give people hugs.
{{clear}}

It should be noted that Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|couldn't follow his own advice]] and declared war numerous times, such as in the [[War Paint Video]]. He must be swimming in prickly-wicklies by now.

==External Links==
*[http://www.emotional-literacy.com/fuzzy.htm ''A Warm Fuzzy Tale''] The origin of ''Cold Pricklies''.

==References==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}{{DEFAULTSORT:Warm Fuzzy Tale}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

100 2357.MOV

2011-02-18T23:52:57Z

Blachman: Oh, come on...

'''100 2357.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 22 [[November 2010]]. For the sixth time, Chris announces he is to [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|leave the Internet]]. Chris also removed all his other [[YouTube]] videos around the time this one was uploaded. His [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] have still not been replaced or repaired properly.

Chris's speech implied that he would spend time outside of his [[14 Branchland Court|humble abode]] and attempt to socialize with others. (Un)surprisingly, he has instead spent the majority of his time playing [[PS3]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2357.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eQqO3kFaV2w}}
| stardate = 22 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2278]]
| next = [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]]
}}

===Transcript===

Attention! Read my lips!

Online socialization... is a [[Muscle_bra|bust]]. [[Chris_and_English|Socialize in real life is]] the tops.

And also: NO MORE VIDEOS!

Fuck you most ''[displays middle finger]'' and fuck you ''[shows other middle finger]'', social sites like [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]]!

[''[[Pedo-glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|whips off his glasses and shakes out his hair]]'']

I'm out. ''[turns off the camera]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100_2278]]|nextlink=[[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]]}}

{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, November 2010| 2010-11-22]]

Template:CWCverse

2011-02-15T21:10:56Z

Blachman:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ffff00" align="center" width="95%"
| '''* [[Sonichu (comic)|CWCverse]] Locations *'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |

'''[[CWCville| CWCville main sights]] ([[:Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|map]]):'''
[[CWCville|CWCville City]] |
[[McIntire Park|CWCville Park/CWC-Central Park]] |
[[CWCville Shopping Center|CWCville Mall]] ([[CWCville Mayoral Office]]) ([[CWCville Shopping Center#Mall Stores|Full list of stores]]) |
[[Wild|Jungle/Mountain Areas]] ([[Wild|Chameleon Cult Jungle Dojo]]) ([[Wild|Wild Sonichu's Treehouse]]) |
[[CWCville|Subdivision Areas]] ([[Sonichu_(character)#Characteristics and personal life|14 Brunchville Lane]]) |
[[Get-Tar Region|Target Mini-Marts]] |
[[Mal-Wart|Walmart Mini-Marts]]

'''[[CWCville|CWCville other places of note]]:'''
[[BILLY MAYS|Billy Mays Tower]] |
[[Zapina|Bolyn High]] |
[[CWC Cola|CWC-Cola Bottling Company]] |
[[McDonald's|CWCee Dees]] |
[[Sonichu 8#Episode 18|CWCville Beach]] ([[Silvana|Pier 969]]) |
[[Wedding Comic|CWCville Baptist Church]] |
[[Sonichu 6#Episode 14|CWCville General Hospital]] |
[[Jiggliami|CWCville Studios]] |
[[Dating Education|CWCville University]] |
[[Sonichu 8#Episode 18|Cwick-Circuit City]] |
[[The Wall of Originals|Cwick City Gym]] |
[[Giant Penis Comic|Double-CWC Hotel]] |
[[KCWC]] |
[[Layla|Layla's Apartment]] |
[[Sonichu 5#Episode 13|Local Coffee Shop]] |
[[Pokemon|Pokemon Center]] |
[[Angelica|Samuel Memorial United Christian Church]] |
[[PandaHalo|Sarah's Apartment Complex]] |
[[Simonla|Simonla Rosechu's Rabbit Hole]] |
[[Jerkops|True Blue St.]] ([[Sonichu 9|CWCville Police Dept. 11th Precinct]])

'''[[CWCville|CWCville environs]] ([[:Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|map]]):'''
[[Giovanni|Giovanni's Gym/Base]] |
[[Kel|Kel's House]] |
[[Pokemon|Pallet Town]] |
[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic's House]] |
[[Station Square]] |
[[Rosechu|Zapbud Fields]]

'''The Axis of [[Slaweel]]:'''
[[Jason Kendrick Howell|Clarksville, Tennessee]] ([[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent_garbage.com HQ]]) |
[[Sonichu Special 1|Cly's Mansion]] |
[[Dark Mirror Hole]] |
[[Doctor Robotnik|Dr.Robotnik's Base]] |
[[Get-Tar Region]] |
[[Giovanni|Giovanni's Gym/Base]] |
[[Mal-Wart|Mal-Wart Region]] ([[McDonald's|M-C-Dville]]) |
[[The Moon|The Motherfucking Moon]] |
[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] ([[Manchester High School|PVCCitizens High School District]]) |
[[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Sho-Mall Region]] ([[Fashion Square Mall|Fa-Square]]) |
[[Pokemon|Viridian City]]

'''Other places:'''
[[Anchuent Prophecy|Destiny Cave]] |
[[Flame the Sunbird|Mysterious Rainbow Island]] |
[[Magi-chan|Mysterious Mountain]] |
[[Punchy|Nabe's Dojo-Shin]] |
[[Pokemon|New Island]] |
[[Bubbles|The Ocean]] |
[[Megagi La Skunk|Parodyse Isle]] |
[[RuleCWC]] |
[[Time Void]]

|}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to fictional locations depicted in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

List of Chris's lies

2011-02-15T11:16:58Z

Blachman:

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|Rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whist bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his penis is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* In the Autism Tutorials, Chris claims he "fit in perfectly" with his high school classmates. The reality is he was socially awkward and generally disliked.{{quote|I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole 'honesty' thing you keep talking about.|Matthew Devoria - [[Father Call]]}}

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

Autism Tutorial Part 3

2011-02-15T10:33:09Z

Blachman:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 3''', any pretense that [[Chris]]'s ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' tutorial has anything to do with informing the public about [[autism]] is abandoned, and Chris instead goes into full-on sob story mode about his struggle. First he revisits his magical [[high school]] years. He admits that he's bitter about not getting [[china]] in high school, and claims that the school system should've had a part in getting him [[Hanky-Panky|laid]]. He then reenacts his graduation, and rambles about how much his life has sucked since then. He finishes the the level by [[Anger|tard raging]] over [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]]'s treatment of him.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|Q11Xw6RgqNQ}}</Center>

===Transcript===

Back in my teenage years at [[Manchester High School]] of Midlothian, [[Virginia]], I really felt emotionally rich, because I had a [[Lies|great number of friends]], the closest and majority of were some sweet girls.

(Long sequence of Chris and a [[gal-pal]] looking at each other and smiling)

My circle of [[gal-pals]] was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for. They understood me, and [[Chris_and_his_Ego|I understood]] [[Women%27s_rights|them]]. [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan_is_scarred_by_ShecameforCWC.JPG|We appreciated each other]]. We hung out, conversed, and hung out y- between within our classes, like home-ec and, uh, [[Reality|science, and math]], and even [[Chris and English|english]], and sometimes we would help each other out. [[Fail|It was the best of times... pretty much.]] And even though [[lie|I even]] had a high school [[Gal-Pals|sweetheart]] like most would, and the quality throughout was great. And would be most appreciated by ''any'' person, autistic or not.

Sadly though, about my high school years, of which I can only complain about were two things, and I did not realize these til after I graduated. Actually one I realized uh, mid-graduation. But after graduation I realized that I was [[naive]] on the subject of dating throughout high school. The mandatory sexual education class is good for after [[Third Date|date number three]] and so, but how do we even get to date number one? That's my question. I really would've appreciated a mandatory [[Dating education|DATING EDUCATION]] CLASS, alongside sexual education. Also, [[F Abstinance|abstinence]] is a JOKE. The virgin-breaker needs to happen BEFORE adulthood arrives, because being an adult [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] SUUUCKS. Even for us autistics and [[Slow-in-the-mind|mentally challenged]].

And the second thing about my high school years that can- can- I would complain about is my high school graduation ceremony. It was a very depressing day, it was raining, it was dark, it was dreary. Anyway, I went got- went up and got my diploma, and uh, I did not shake anybody's hand. It- I mean, there were important people there, I did not shake anybody's hand, I just grabbed my diploma, [[Fail|cried then, ran off the stage]], went into a back room, sat at a- sat at a table by myself for a little while. Then my best gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen|Tif]] met up with me and uh, she made me feel a little better. (voice turns wistful) Really love to, uh, see her again, at least [[Rape|hang out]] or a little while.

My high school years were the best and most emotionally ''encouraging'' for me. But after graduation in 2000 and moving back to lame [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersrville]]... it was all downhill for me. My adult years ''suck''. And I'm soon to turn 29. I left my heart back at Manchester High in Midlothian.

I grad- I also graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] with a uh, degree in [[CADD|computer-aided drafting and design]], but that- and that graduation went better for me, because I did not have so many fr- I did not have many friends back there. And plus, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] [[Chris and his ego|just plain hated me.]] ''(voice creaks on the verge of recognizing own faults)'' Obvi- And obviously I uh, talked ill about her in [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] that I [[Chris and art|drew]], portrayed her as a witch... ''(voice fills with self-righteous rationalization)'' She made it apparent that it was illegal to find true love in the state of [[Virginia]]! And that [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia was a state for VIRGINS]]... ([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) She still ticked me off, I mean, even after I apologized to her for portraying her the way that I did in my books, she would not accept my apology and she banned me from the grounds of Piedmont Virginia Community College! That's a- one hell of a thank you for an apology, or an apology acceptance. Obviously she did not accept my apology. I hope she gets fired, period! And I also hope that the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby Place]] in [[Charlottesville]]... [[Chris and anger|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! [[Death threats|ALONG WITH]] [[Michael Snyder|MICHAEL SNYDER]]!

Agh, that's all my ranting for right now.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 6

2011-02-15T01:08:05Z

Blachman:

'''Autism Tutorial Part 6''' is yet another non-interactive level in [[Chris]]'s so-called [[Autism Tutorial]] series. Chris starts off by once again complaining about the dreaded [[friend zone]], and how it restricts his access to [[china]]. The whole thing then devolves into a rant that echoes an earlier sentiment that Chris wants a cure for [[autism]]. The level ends with him finally returning the dance to [[Tiffany Gowen]] he expected to give her last year, via a [[LittleBigPlanet]] cutscene. Despite thousands of levels of free dancing sackboys to steal, Chris awkwardly (and possibly realistically) portrays the dance with one controller for almost a minute and a half. The level doesn't end properly, proving Chris's [[Fail|mastery]] of LittleBigPlanet's editing software.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|xga0M-h1tIE}}</Center>

===Transcript===

At this point, you would think I would be hap- a happier [[autistic]] person, right? Finally having the wom- the woman of my life to be here by my side, and care about each other and such for the rest of our lives? ([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) But, the truth is, for real... [[Mic]] and I, we don't hang out in person as much as we should be. Only phone conversations, and the few times we did hang out. And she does not know that many people here in [[Charlottesville]]. All things appreciated in our friendship... Mic is just ''too busy'' to help me best. (stress-sigh)

''(A text message appears reading "I'm sorry, Mic. You did what you could, and I always will appreciate it all. Good work, and thank you, friend.)''

Another thing about us autistic people, we do not like to be [[Chris|alone]] quote-unquote twenty-four-seven. We need the emotional support of a [[Gal-Pal|true friend]] constantly and in person. Also on another note, apparently [[Monthly Tugboat|government funding]] goes more towards physical health over [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental health]]. The brain is a part of our body, and not just any part, the most vital part! Why do we treat the rest of our body parts, which essentially ''alone'' are [[Chris|brainless]], better than our one actual central processing unit that is not brainless? As a part of the body, funds should be equally distributed, or equally divided, between both [[Duck|physical]] AND [[Autism|mental]] health. So that the cures for mental illnesses, including autism, can be found!

It just makes me feel sad and furious at this time. I for one [[Lies|actually appreciate]] a true and full good quality friendship. Yet in a world full of [[Chris|sick-minded]] people one can only detest, I feel so [[Stress|paranoid]] of a number of [[Trolls|people]]! And I feel uncertain of most anyone I could ever trust, an- or feel at ease around! The social [[Homos|phobias]], I can no longer [[Chris and Religion|tolerate]]. Which is why, unlike the autistic people, who pitifully accept it as a forever-lasting curse, I for one seek a cure! On the day a resolution to re-establishing all connections in our brains, with thorough corpus callosum repair, and such, I, Christian Weston Chandler will be there among the first in line to take the life-changing autism cure I have desired for soo long! To establish a quicker, more socially-active mind, a great sense of self-esteem, a great sense of self-reliance, a great sense of self-confidence, total independence, and freedom from the thorns of autism of any kind or sssort!

...The life... only an autistic person can ever dream of. I am Christian Weston Chandler, and this has been an autism tutorial. Thank you, and have a good and safe day.

''(A text-only section follows as Sack-Chris fondles and [[Rape|gropes]] a poor defenseless Sack-Tiffany, who struggles in vain to free herself from Sack-Chris's clutches.)''

A little Extra for the Real Tiff, who Graduated with me from Manchester High's Class of 2000. Among all of my Gal-friends, she understood me the most. I really, truly would love a chance to hang out with her and talk and whatever. It really would mean a lot to me. If you are watching this, Tiff, I miss you a lot: Please, come and hang out with me for a while.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Extra]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 5

2011-02-15T00:55:23Z

Blachman:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 5''', [[Chris]] uses ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' to demonstrating how to "properly" introduce an [[autistic]] person to a new friend, but all it really does is ascertain that his only motivation for socializing with other people, is that doing so theoretically heightens his chances of getting that [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]] his [[duck]] so desperately hungers for. He then reenacts, yet again, an assault of [[Clyde Cash]].

Chris also fails to see the hypocrisy of demanding people treat him nicely because he's retarded, then telling people who are deformed or mentally challenged that he's frightened of them and wants them to stay away form him.
==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|uvPZbDwYGjE}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Rather than a voice-over, the first segment of the video is a text-only conversation between sack-Chris and several sack-imaginary girls.)''

Mic: Nonette, this is [[Christian Chandler]], but you may call him Chris. Chris, this here is Nonette Sehen.

Sack-Chris: Hey Nonette, you are a pretty woman, and I am happy to meet you.

Nonette: ''(clearly needs glasses)'' Well, I think you have a very good face, and I am delighted to meet you too.

''(Chris's melodic voice takes over narration for the remainder of the video)''

Now understand, ''this'' is what I'm talking about for us autistic people. We are too shy by default! But on earning our trust, or if we feel comfortable or like the other person on our indid-ividual instincts, we will open up. And to start us right, we need either: A) The other person to approach and talk to us, upon their own will, or B) have our own trusted friend or family introduce us to other people of our respective ages.

In this scenario, it was a great match for me, for A) she is a [[Boyfriend-free girl|single woman, without a boyfriend]]: B) she is pretty, and easy on my eyes. And C) this woman I could feel comfortable with, and feel a good and honest aura from her. From this a good friendship, and hopefully a f- a long relationship will stay between us for the long time. (Voice deepens with hatred) Do not bring me down here, naysayers and [[Trolls|haters]].

Lets look at a few other scenarios of similar to opposite results. Obviously, most women: ''[Subtitle: "I mean NO Personal Offense whatsoever to Any Individual Person or Group of People."]'' Easy on my eyes, good-humored, sweet, pretty... [[Niggo|black]], white, [[Punchy|Asian]], Christian, [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]], Buddhism, I have no, c- I have no care about skin color or religion, whatever. I will be kind to all of them, respectful and welcoming them, to have them in my circle of friends. Lesbians, too... Just don't get on my bad side here. ''[Subitle: "To clarify, the 'Don't get on my bad side' part refers to All Women in general'"]''

Men, my own... ''kind'', on the other hand, I would feel most hesitant towards. Because I have had fewer male friends in my life, and I have had mostly bad experiences around them. ''Plus'', and this is very important, in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over ''men''. ''[Subtitle: "I mean NO Personal Offense whatsoever to Any Individual Person or Group of People."]'' And considering my life experiences and my own opinion, I totally agree with that. If the, uh, individual, however, offers a, uh, friendly gesture, and does not make me [[Chris and anger|angry]] or make me feel most uncomfortable, or ill at ease, I will be willing to give him a chance and welcome him as a friend, and nothing more. ''[Subtitle: "**PLATONICALLY Friendly**"]''

However, going back to the mean people of the internet... Upon meeting one of them in real life - and I will be able to recognize them sure enough, at least with basic instincts - I will not hold back my endured rage. Just ask this crying [[Clyde]]. ''(A scene of a livid Sack-Chris smacking Sack-Clyde follows before the narration continues.)''

Physically and [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally challenged]] individuals will vary more. Good results upon if they are easy to look at, if they are able to speak clearly, even ''slooowly'', that I can easily understand them. ''[Subtitle: "I mean NO Personal Offense whatsoever to Any Individual Person or Group of People."]'' And now, uh, the other part, the other side, whoa, back off! I'm spooked if you are [[Chris and Fashion#The "Gay Trucker" outfit|ugly]], [[Duck|seriously disfigured]], especially in the face, that you [[Chris and English|mumble more than you speak]], you're [[Speech impediment|hard to understand]] at all. It is nothing personal, and I apologize for anyone who feels at unease after hearing what I just said, but it's just the way I feel. That's all.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2011-02-15T00:53:44Z

Blachman:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 4''', [[Chris]] uses his ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' soapbox to rail at society at large for ignoring him, not letting him do whatever ''he'' wants, and shunning him for being creepy.

Chris starts off by describing [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|qZXJ1SO0w58}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)''

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Jefferson Mr. Thomas Jefferson], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_monroe Mr. James Monroe], and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Madison Mr. James Madison]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the Fashion Square Shopping Centre, should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their [[Lies|misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything.]] I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[Chris and his Ego|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. I would only lie to protect the other person's feelings out of care and respect. [[Ryan Cash|I]] [[Mike Jackson|AM]] [[Homos|NOT]] [[Megan|A]] [[Kacey|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Homos|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. Snobbish, snooty... to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have [[Mic|one friend]] who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

''(The sackpeople stare at each other like retards for the remaining few seconds of video)''

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2011-02-15T00:53:32Z

Blachman:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 4''' [[Chris]] uses his ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' soapbox to rail at society at large for ignoring him, not letting him do whatever ''he'' wants, and shunning him for being creepy.

Chris starts off by describing [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|qZXJ1SO0w58}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)''

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Jefferson Mr. Thomas Jefferson], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_monroe Mr. James Monroe], and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Madison Mr. James Madison]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the Fashion Square Shopping Centre, should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their [[Lies|misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything.]] I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[Chris and his Ego|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. I would only lie to protect the other person's feelings out of care and respect. [[Ryan Cash|I]] [[Mike Jackson|AM]] [[Homos|NOT]] [[Megan|A]] [[Kacey|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Homos|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. Snobbish, snooty... to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have [[Mic|one friend]] who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

''(The sackpeople stare at each other like retards for the remaining few seconds of video)''

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 3

2011-02-15T00:44:50Z

Blachman:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 3''', any pretense that [[Chris]]'s ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' Tutorial have anything to do with informing the public about [[autism]] is abandoned, and Chris now goes into full-on sob story mode about his struggle. First he revisits his magical [[high school]] years. He admits that he's bitter about not getting [[china]] in high school, and claims that the school system should've had a part in getting him [[Hanky-Panky|laid]]. He then reenacts his graduation, and rambles about how much his life has sucked since then. After which he finishes the the level by [[Anger|tard raging]] over [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]]'s treatment of him.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|Q11Xw6RgqNQ}}</Center>

===Transcript===

Back in my teenage years at [[Manchester High School]] of Midlothian, [[Virginia]], I really felt emotionally rich, because I had a [[Lies|great number of friends]], the closest and majority of were some sweet girls.

(Long sequence of Chris and a [[gal-pal]] looking at each other and smiling)

My circle of [[gal-pals]] was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for. They understood me, and I understood them. We appreciated each other. We hung out, conversed, and hung out y- between within our classes, like home-ec and, uh, science, and math, and even [[Chris and English|english]], and sometimes we would help each other out. [[Fail|It was the best of times... pretty much.]] And even though I even had a high school sweetheart like most would, and the quality throughout was great. And would be most appreciated by ''any'' person, autistic or not.

Sadly though, about my high school years, of which I can only complain about were two things, and I did not realize these til after I graduated. Actually one I realized uh, mid-graduation. But after graduation I realized that I was [[naive]] on the subject of dating throughout high school. The mandatory sexual education class is good for after [[Third Date|date number three]] and so, but how do we even get to date number one? That's my question. I really would've appreciated a mandatory [[Dating education|DATING EDUCATION]] CLASS, alongside sexual education. Also, [[F Abstinance|abstinence]] is a JOKE. The virgin-breaker needs to happen BEFORE adulthood arrives, because being an adult [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] SUUUCKS. Even for us autistics and [[Slow-in-the-mind|mentally challenged]].

And the second thing about my high school years that can- can- I would complain about is my high school graduation ceremony. It was a very depressing day, it was raining, it was dark, it was dreary. Anyway, I went got- went up and got my diploma, and uh, I did not shake anybody's hand. It- I mean, there were important people there, I did not shake anybody's hand, I just grabbed my diploma, [[Fail|cried then, ran off the stage]], went into a back room, sat at a- sat at a table by myself for a little while. Then my best gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen|Tif]] met up with me and uh, she made me feel a little better. (voice turns wistful) Really love to, uh, see her again, at least [[Rape|hang out]] or a little while.

My high school years were the best and most emotionally ''encouraging'' for me. But after graduation in 2000 and moving back to lame [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersrville]]... it was all downhill for me. My adult years ''suck''. And I'm soon to turn 29. I left my heart back at Manchester High in Midlothian.

I grad- I also graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] with a uh, degree in [[CADD|computer-aided drafting and design]], but that- and that graduation went better for me, because I did not have so many fr- I did not have many friends back there. And plus, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] [[Chris and his ego|just plain hated me.]] ''(voice creaks on the verge of recognizing own faults)'' Obvi- And obviously I uh, talked ill about her in [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] that I [[Chris and art|drew]], portrayed her as a witch... ''(voice fills with self-righteous rationalization)'' She made it apparent that it was illegal to find true love in the state of [[Virginia]]! And that [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia was a state for VIRGINS]]... ([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) She still ticked me off, I mean, even after I apologized to her for portraying her the way that I did in my books, she would not accept my apology and she banned me from the grounds of Piedmont Virginia Community College! That's a- one hell of a thank you for an apology, or an apology acceptance. Obviously she did not accept my apology. I hope she gets fired, period! And I also hope that the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby Place]] in [[Charlottesville]]... [[Chris and anger|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! [[Death threats|ALONG WITH]] [[Michael Snyder|MICHAEL SNYDER]]!

Agh, that's all my ranting for right now.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 3

2011-02-15T00:44:21Z

Blachman:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 3''', any pretense that [[Chris]]'s ''LittleBigPlanet'' Tutorial have anything to do with informing the public [[autism]] is abandoned, and Chris now goes into full-on sob story mode about his struggle. First he revisits his magical [[high school]] years. He admits that he's bitter about not getting [[china]] in high school, and claims that the school system should've had a part in getting him [[Hanky-Panky|laid]]. He then reenacts his graduation, and rambles about how much his life has sucked since then. After which he finishes the the level by [[Anger|tard raging]] over [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]]'s treatment of him.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|Q11Xw6RgqNQ}}</Center>

===Transcript===

Back in my teenage years at [[Manchester High School]] of Midlothian, [[Virginia]], I really felt emotionally rich, because I had a [[Lies|great number of friends]], the closest and majority of were some sweet girls.

(Long sequence of Chris and a [[gal-pal]] looking at each other and smiling)

My circle of [[gal-pals]] was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for. They understood me, and I understood them. We appreciated each other. We hung out, conversed, and hung out y- between within our classes, like home-ec and, uh, science, and math, and even [[Chris and English|english]], and sometimes we would help each other out. [[Fail|It was the best of times... pretty much.]] And even though I even had a high school sweetheart like most would, and the quality throughout was great. And would be most appreciated by ''any'' person, autistic or not.

Sadly though, about my high school years, of which I can only complain about were two things, and I did not realize these til after I graduated. Actually one I realized uh, mid-graduation. But after graduation I realized that I was [[naive]] on the subject of dating throughout high school. The mandatory sexual education class is good for after [[Third Date|date number three]] and so, but how do we even get to date number one? That's my question. I really would've appreciated a mandatory [[Dating education|DATING EDUCATION]] CLASS, alongside sexual education. Also, [[F Abstinance|abstinence]] is a JOKE. The virgin-breaker needs to happen BEFORE adulthood arrives, because being an adult [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] SUUUCKS. Even for us autistics and [[Slow-in-the-mind|mentally challenged]].

And the second thing about my high school years that can- can- I would complain about is my high school graduation ceremony. It was a very depressing day, it was raining, it was dark, it was dreary. Anyway, I went got- went up and got my diploma, and uh, I did not shake anybody's hand. It- I mean, there were important people there, I did not shake anybody's hand, I just grabbed my diploma, [[Fail|cried then, ran off the stage]], went into a back room, sat at a- sat at a table by myself for a little while. Then my best gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen|Tif]] met up with me and uh, she made me feel a little better. (voice turns wistful) Really love to, uh, see her again, at least [[Rape|hang out]] or a little while.

My high school years were the best and most emotionally ''encouraging'' for me. But after graduation in 2000 and moving back to lame [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersrville]]... it was all downhill for me. My adult years ''suck''. And I'm soon to turn 29. I left my heart back at Manchester High in Midlothian.

I grad- I also graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] with a uh, degree in [[CADD|computer-aided drafting and design]], but that- and that graduation went better for me, because I did not have so many fr- I did not have many friends back there. And plus, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] [[Chris and his ego|just plain hated me.]] ''(voice creaks on the verge of recognizing own faults)'' Obvi- And obviously I uh, talked ill about her in [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] that I [[Chris and art|drew]], portrayed her as a witch... ''(voice fills with self-righteous rationalization)'' She made it apparent that it was illegal to find true love in the state of [[Virginia]]! And that [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia was a state for VIRGINS]]... ([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) She still ticked me off, I mean, even after I apologized to her for portraying her the way that I did in my books, she would not accept my apology and she banned me from the grounds of Piedmont Virginia Community College! That's a- one hell of a thank you for an apology, or an apology acceptance. Obviously she did not accept my apology. I hope she gets fired, period! And I also hope that the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby Place]] in [[Charlottesville]]... [[Chris and anger|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! [[Death threats|ALONG WITH]] [[Michael Snyder|MICHAEL SNYDER]]!

Agh, that's all my ranting for right now.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 2

2011-02-15T00:33:11Z

Blachman:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 2''', [[Chris]] continues his non-interactive extravaganza in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', and advocates that [[autistic]] children should receive the same loving care that he did when growing up, before going off on tangent about the CWCville universe, after which he launches into a rant about the [[Trolls|dangers]] of the [[internet]]. He then calls his autistic viewers to arms to abandon the internet as a social mechanism.

==Video==

<Center> {{#ev:youtube|fRWy1Ik1M7U}}</Center>

===Transcript===
Going back to what you could do for your autistic child, you could do a number of things, but of course, the most important thing is to positively emotionally encourage them. And tra-and give them hugs, anyways, [[Megan|even if they don't want it]]. They will feel the love eventually, cause I know I have, [[Snorlax|my mom]] never stopped hugging me.

Another thing you can do with them is floor time. You get on the floor and you play with them. You should build [[Lego]] sets. I had my own city made out of Legos. It was a very big city too. It was pretty much an early version of my city of CWCville that I housed my electric hedgehog [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in, in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] I had [[Chris and art|drawn]]. I put all the bricks and pieces in the boxes under here, but they were over there, on the other side of my [[Chris's Room|room]]. One big city, ''[Subtitle: "The city of Cwcville, VA still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."]'' it was massive, it was great.

Egana-and of course there's also therapy, psychiatry, and special autism places. ''[Subtitle: "Fit in within normal places and have friends who are normal to better influence the autistic person"]'' I highly encourage, ''[Subtitle: "In my opinion, with one autistic person having another autistic or mentally challenged friend."]'' mainstreaming 'em. Letting be norm-letting 'em try to fit in with the normal places, ''[Subtitle: "I feel it is Not beneficial to either, because with mental influences,"]'' like [[Inos|high]]-like [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Providence Middle School|middle school]]. I fit in [[Lies|perfectly]] after I, ''[Subtitle: "being able to move forward socially will be less likely."]'' I settled in. But never EVER send them to a ''[Subtitle: "Normal friends for Autistic People are Better."]'' mental institution. It's [[Nudes|just wrong]], it's a dark, evil place. ''[Subtitle: "We autistic people have been mistaken as psychopaths in the past , but that is Rarely the case. We are Not Crazy People."]'' I was almost forced into there once but my parents would not have it.

Anyway, on a more modern interest note, according to the, uh, [[Wikipedia]] article, the [[internet]] helps autistic individuals bypass nonverbal cues and emotional sharing they find hard to deal with. They also apparently point online communities and work with locally.

Listen, on extended personal experience with internet [[Attraction Sign|socializing]], I can tell you the truth of the internet. There are a lot of [[Chris|sick minded, twisted, evil,]] ''[Subtitle: "These people of the internet who make the world's societies corrupted, look for innocent people to talk ill of..."]'' [[Chris|dark, sloppy, gross, weird]] ''[Subtitle: "greatly."]'' individuals out there, and you can never tell ''[Subtitle: "and they also trick or steal personal and private information, footage and gossip, mostly solely for Laughs at our individual..."]'' who they are from anybody else, cause they hide behind their [[Snorlax|mother's]] skirts of the anonymity that is also ''[Subtitle: "expenses."]'' know as the internet. ''[Subtitle: ""LULZ", they call it; "[[Laughs Under Lucricities]]"."]'' They go online talking to random people, ''[Subtitle: "They go by many sub-labels; naturally, they are Anonymous, hiding behind their "Mother's Skirts" like scared..."]'' deceiving, tricking, blackmailing! Just so they can drag our clear, ''[Subtitle: "children."]'' just so they can drag our once clean names ''[Subtitle: "They each have their own sad, disgusting origins from being molested as children to just being crazy in the head for real."]'' through the worst mud, blood and [[Navy|bodily fluids]], makes me sick. UGHH!

They are ungrateful ''[Subtitle: "These people seriously need Mental Health Treatments and Therapies of their own."]'' immature. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|They need to grow up]]. The-they-they, even ''[Subtitle: "I became tired of the enduring, emotionally damaging stress from these corrupted people."]'' range from the [[BlueSpike|young]], the teenage, [[Jack Thaddeus|even]] [[Clyde Cash|some]] [[Liquid Chris|adults]]! I swear! ''[Subtitle: "and after all that, I took down my own website personally, including the majority of videos I had on YouTube"]'' I had my own [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] for my Sonichu comics, but then they hacked in there and then, took 'em away! I grabbed it back, but after a while I got [[Stress|tired]] ''[Subtitle: "These people also use YouTube against us as well"]'' and decided, took the websites down myself. ''[Subtitle: "On Internet Safety, Keep ALL Private and Personal Information and Footage of yourself to yourself alone."]''

[[Sigh]]

And I also had my own [[Myspace]] and [[Facebook]], gone! ''[Subtitle: "If you can not consciously, morally, seriously tell a very close relative about it or share it with them."]'' They can hack your computers, your [[PS3|game consoles]], laptops, cell phones, and maybe even your iPods! ''[Subtitle: "It need to stay Offline. Period. This is a terribly Serious Matter: There is Nothing tolaugh about."]'' They just do not let up. I have been a victim of their ways. I nev, I have never socialize online again. And I screen my phone calls, I hardly ever answer my phone call anymore. And I am emotionally damaged by them. Just this, ter-pitiful. [[Nudes|Horrifying]]!

Online gaming, on the other hand, is different. The other players, they just come and go while I accomplish my video game goals. No friendships are made. And information searches and shopping online is fine. It is the social websites ''[Subtitle: "Not only is Facebook a joke, it is the complete opposite of true Socializing."]'' like Facebooks and Myspace that are travesties. ''[Subtitle: "Staying behind the ******** monitor like that only makes one more Autistic-Like."]'' The only way to socialize is in real life. ''[Subtitle: "Down with Facebook!!!"]'' [Volume raises] Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and woman up ''[Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"]'' respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!

Socializing tips and also little more history on myself, to be revealed in the follow-into the following parts, in the remainder of this tutorial, so stay tuned. Thank you

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 2

2011-02-15T00:32:58Z

Blachman:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 2''' [[Chris]] continues his non-interactive extravaganza in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', and advocates that [[autistic]] children should receive the same loving care that he did when growing up, before going off on tangent about the CWCville universe, after which he launches into a rant about the [[Trolls|dangers]] of the [[internet]]. He then calls his autistic viewers to arms to abandon the internet as a social mechanism.

==Video==

<Center> {{#ev:youtube|fRWy1Ik1M7U}}</Center>

===Transcript===
Going back to what you could do for your autistic child, you could do a number of things, but of course, the most important thing is to positively emotionally encourage them. And tra-and give them hugs, anyways, [[Megan|even if they don't want it]]. They will feel the love eventually, cause I know I have, [[Snorlax|my mom]] never stopped hugging me.

Another thing you can do with them is floor time. You get on the floor and you play with them. You should build [[Lego]] sets. I had my own city made out of Legos. It was a very big city too. It was pretty much an early version of my city of CWCville that I housed my electric hedgehog [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in, in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] I had [[Chris and art|drawn]]. I put all the bricks and pieces in the boxes under here, but they were over there, on the other side of my [[Chris's Room|room]]. One big city, ''[Subtitle: "The city of Cwcville, VA still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."]'' it was massive, it was great.

Egana-and of course there's also therapy, psychiatry, and special autism places. ''[Subtitle: "Fit in within normal places and have friends who are normal to better influence the autistic person"]'' I highly encourage, ''[Subtitle: "In my opinion, with one autistic person having another autistic or mentally challenged friend."]'' mainstreaming 'em. Letting be norm-letting 'em try to fit in with the normal places, ''[Subtitle: "I feel it is Not beneficial to either, because with mental influences,"]'' like [[Inos|high]]-like [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Providence Middle School|middle school]]. I fit in [[Lies|perfectly]] after I, ''[Subtitle: "being able to move forward socially will be less likely."]'' I settled in. But never EVER send them to a ''[Subtitle: "Normal friends for Autistic People are Better."]'' mental institution. It's [[Nudes|just wrong]], it's a dark, evil place. ''[Subtitle: "We autistic people have been mistaken as psychopaths in the past , but that is Rarely the case. We are Not Crazy People."]'' I was almost forced into there once but my parents would not have it.

Anyway, on a more modern interest note, according to the, uh, [[Wikipedia]] article, the [[internet]] helps autistic individuals bypass nonverbal cues and emotional sharing they find hard to deal with. They also apparently point online communities and work with locally.

Listen, on extended personal experience with internet [[Attraction Sign|socializing]], I can tell you the truth of the internet. There are a lot of [[Chris|sick minded, twisted, evil,]] ''[Subtitle: "These people of the internet who make the world's societies corrupted, look for innocent people to talk ill of..."]'' [[Chris|dark, sloppy, gross, weird]] ''[Subtitle: "greatly."]'' individuals out there, and you can never tell ''[Subtitle: "and they also trick or steal personal and private information, footage and gossip, mostly solely for Laughs at our individual..."]'' who they are from anybody else, cause they hide behind their [[Snorlax|mother's]] skirts of the anonymity that is also ''[Subtitle: "expenses."]'' know as the internet. ''[Subtitle: ""LULZ", they call it; "[[Laughs Under Lucricities]]"."]'' They go online talking to random people, ''[Subtitle: "They go by many sub-labels; naturally, they are Anonymous, hiding behind their "Mother's Skirts" like scared..."]'' deceiving, tricking, blackmailing! Just so they can drag our clear, ''[Subtitle: "children."]'' just so they can drag our once clean names ''[Subtitle: "They each have their own sad, disgusting origins from being molested as children to just being crazy in the head for real."]'' through the worst mud, blood and [[Navy|bodily fluids]], makes me sick. UGHH!

They are ungrateful ''[Subtitle: "These people seriously need Mental Health Treatments and Therapies of their own."]'' immature. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|They need to grow up]]. The-they-they, even ''[Subtitle: "I became tired of the enduring, emotionally damaging stress from these corrupted people."]'' range from the [[BlueSpike|young]], the teenage, [[Jack Thaddeus|even]] [[Clyde Cash|some]] [[Liquid Chris|adults]]! I swear! ''[Subtitle: "and after all that, I took down my own website personally, including the majority of videos I had on YouTube"]'' I had my own [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] for my Sonichu comics, but then they hacked in there and then, took 'em away! I grabbed it back, but after a while I got [[Stress|tired]] ''[Subtitle: "These people also use YouTube against us as well"]'' and decided, took the websites down myself. ''[Subtitle: "On Internet Safety, Keep ALL Private and Personal Information and Footage of yourself to yourself alone."]''

[[Sigh]]

And I also had my own [[Myspace]] and [[Facebook]], gone! ''[Subtitle: "If you can not consciously, morally, seriously tell a very close relative about it or share it with them."]'' They can hack your computers, your [[PS3|game consoles]], laptops, cell phones, and maybe even your iPods! ''[Subtitle: "It need to stay Offline. Period. This is a terribly Serious Matter: There is Nothing tolaugh about."]'' They just do not let up. I have been a victim of their ways. I nev, I have never socialize online again. And I screen my phone calls, I hardly ever answer my phone call anymore. And I am emotionally damaged by them. Just this, ter-pitiful. [[Nudes|Horrifying]]!

Online gaming, on the other hand, is different. The other players, they just come and go while I accomplish my video game goals. No friendships are made. And information searches and shopping online is fine. It is the social websites ''[Subtitle: "Not only is Facebook a joke, it is the complete opposite of true Socializing."]'' like Facebooks and Myspace that are travesties. ''[Subtitle: "Staying behind the ******** monitor like that only makes one more Autistic-Like."]'' The only way to socialize is in real life. ''[Subtitle: "Down with Facebook!!!"]'' [Volume raises] Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and woman up ''[Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"]'' respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!

Socializing tips and also little more history on myself, to be revealed in the follow-into the following parts, in the remainder of this tutorial, so stay tuned. Thank you

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 2

2011-02-15T00:32:42Z

Blachman:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 2''' [[Chris]] continues his non-interactive extravaganza in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', and advocates that [[autistic]] children should receive the same loving care that he did whem growing up, before going off on tangent about the CWCville universe, after which he launches into a rant about the [[Trolls|dangers]] of the [[internet]]. He then calls his autistic viewers to arms to abandon the internet as a social mechanism.

==Video==

<Center> {{#ev:youtube|fRWy1Ik1M7U}}</Center>

===Transcript===
Going back to what you could do for your autistic child, you could do a number of things, but of course, the most important thing is to positively emotionally encourage them. And tra-and give them hugs, anyways, [[Megan|even if they don't want it]]. They will feel the love eventually, cause I know I have, [[Snorlax|my mom]] never stopped hugging me.

Another thing you can do with them is floor time. You get on the floor and you play with them. You should build [[Lego]] sets. I had my own city made out of Legos. It was a very big city too. It was pretty much an early version of my city of CWCville that I housed my electric hedgehog [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in, in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] I had [[Chris and art|drawn]]. I put all the bricks and pieces in the boxes under here, but they were over there, on the other side of my [[Chris's Room|room]]. One big city, ''[Subtitle: "The city of Cwcville, VA still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."]'' it was massive, it was great.

Egana-and of course there's also therapy, psychiatry, and special autism places. ''[Subtitle: "Fit in within normal places and have friends who are normal to better influence the autistic person"]'' I highly encourage, ''[Subtitle: "In my opinion, with one autistic person having another autistic or mentally challenged friend."]'' mainstreaming 'em. Letting be norm-letting 'em try to fit in with the normal places, ''[Subtitle: "I feel it is Not beneficial to either, because with mental influences,"]'' like [[Inos|high]]-like [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Providence Middle School|middle school]]. I fit in [[Lies|perfectly]] after I, ''[Subtitle: "being able to move forward socially will be less likely."]'' I settled in. But never EVER send them to a ''[Subtitle: "Normal friends for Autistic People are Better."]'' mental institution. It's [[Nudes|just wrong]], it's a dark, evil place. ''[Subtitle: "We autistic people have been mistaken as psychopaths in the past , but that is Rarely the case. We are Not Crazy People."]'' I was almost forced into there once but my parents would not have it.

Anyway, on a more modern interest note, according to the, uh, [[Wikipedia]] article, the [[internet]] helps autistic individuals bypass nonverbal cues and emotional sharing they find hard to deal with. They also apparently point online communities and work with locally.

Listen, on extended personal experience with internet [[Attraction Sign|socializing]], I can tell you the truth of the internet. There are a lot of [[Chris|sick minded, twisted, evil,]] ''[Subtitle: "These people of the internet who make the world's societies corrupted, look for innocent people to talk ill of..."]'' [[Chris|dark, sloppy, gross, weird]] ''[Subtitle: "greatly."]'' individuals out there, and you can never tell ''[Subtitle: "and they also trick or steal personal and private information, footage and gossip, mostly solely for Laughs at our individual..."]'' who they are from anybody else, cause they hide behind their [[Snorlax|mother's]] skirts of the anonymity that is also ''[Subtitle: "expenses."]'' know as the internet. ''[Subtitle: ""LULZ", they call it; "[[Laughs Under Lucricities]]"."]'' They go online talking to random people, ''[Subtitle: "They go by many sub-labels; naturally, they are Anonymous, hiding behind their "Mother's Skirts" like scared..."]'' deceiving, tricking, blackmailing! Just so they can drag our clear, ''[Subtitle: "children."]'' just so they can drag our once clean names ''[Subtitle: "They each have their own sad, disgusting origins from being molested as children to just being crazy in the head for real."]'' through the worst mud, blood and [[Navy|bodily fluids]], makes me sick. UGHH!

They are ungrateful ''[Subtitle: "These people seriously need Mental Health Treatments and Therapies of their own."]'' immature. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|They need to grow up]]. The-they-they, even ''[Subtitle: "I became tired of the enduring, emotionally damaging stress from these corrupted people."]'' range from the [[BlueSpike|young]], the teenage, [[Jack Thaddeus|even]] [[Clyde Cash|some]] [[Liquid Chris|adults]]! I swear! ''[Subtitle: "and after all that, I took down my own website personally, including the majority of videos I had on YouTube"]'' I had my own [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] for my Sonichu comics, but then they hacked in there and then, took 'em away! I grabbed it back, but after a while I got [[Stress|tired]] ''[Subtitle: "These people also use YouTube against us as well"]'' and decided, took the websites down myself. ''[Subtitle: "On Internet Safety, Keep ALL Private and Personal Information and Footage of yourself to yourself alone."]''

[[Sigh]]

And I also had my own [[Myspace]] and [[Facebook]], gone! ''[Subtitle: "If you can not consciously, morally, seriously tell a very close relative about it or share it with them."]'' They can hack your computers, your [[PS3|game consoles]], laptops, cell phones, and maybe even your iPods! ''[Subtitle: "It need to stay Offline. Period. This is a terribly Serious Matter: There is Nothing tolaugh about."]'' They just do not let up. I have been a victim of their ways. I nev, I have never socialize online again. And I screen my phone calls, I hardly ever answer my phone call anymore. And I am emotionally damaged by them. Just this, ter-pitiful. [[Nudes|Horrifying]]!

Online gaming, on the other hand, is different. The other players, they just come and go while I accomplish my video game goals. No friendships are made. And information searches and shopping online is fine. It is the social websites ''[Subtitle: "Not only is Facebook a joke, it is the complete opposite of true Socializing."]'' like Facebooks and Myspace that are travesties. ''[Subtitle: "Staying behind the ******** monitor like that only makes one more Autistic-Like."]'' The only way to socialize is in real life. ''[Subtitle: "Down with Facebook!!!"]'' [Volume raises] Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and woman up ''[Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"]'' respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!

Socializing tips and also little more history on myself, to be revealed in the follow-into the following parts, in the remainder of this tutorial, so stay tuned. Thank you

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

January 2011

2011-02-14T16:15:26Z

Blachman:

'''January 2011''' opened in the shadow of Chris's resignation from the [[Internet]] on 22 [[November 2010]]. The month was as uneventful as the previous, Chris presumably spending the entirety of the month playing on his [[PS3]].

==Events==
*11 January - ''DC Universe Online'' is released. Chris buys it later and spends the next couple of days playing the game.
*18 January - Chris blows eighty dollars on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2''.
*28 January - Chris releases ''Sonichu'': Episode #1 to the ''LittleBigPlanet'' community.
*30 January - Chris's [[Trollin Train]] posts are unveiled to the public, while [[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]] is leaked.
{{Timeline}}

Autism Tutorial

2011-02-14T16:10:54Z

Blachman:

[[Image:Lbpchris.jpg|thumb|Chris in ''LBP2'']]

The '''Autism Tutorial''' is a series of 7 levels made by Chris in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2''.

Contrary to what the name suggests, Chris does not manage to keep on topic, but quickly starts to talk at great length about the problems and smaller inconveniences in his life, such as his [[high school]] gradation, being banned from places, and losing his [[galpal|galpals]]. In classic Chris fashion, he uses most of the tutorial to blame everybody else for these problems, ranging from [[Bob]] for seeding [[Barb]] at a late age, to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]] for banning him for creepy and unacceptable behavior, before finally railing against random strangers on the street for not [[Ego|acknowledging]] him.

It is worth noting that the levels, just as most of Chris's other ''LittleBigPlanet'' projects, consist entirely of non-interactive cutscenes.

==Videos==

*[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Part 1]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 2|Part 2]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 3|Part 3]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 4|Part 4]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 5|Part 5]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 6|Part 6]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Extra]]

Autism Tutorial

2011-02-14T16:10:00Z

Blachman:

[[Image:Lbpchris.jpg|thumb|Chris in ''LBP2'']]

The '''Autism Tutorial''' is a series of 7 levels made by Chris in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2''.

Contrary to what the name suggests, Chris does not manage to keep on topic, but quickly starts to talk at great length about the problems and smaller inconveniences in his life, such as his [[high school]] gradation, being banned from places, and losing his [[galpal|galpals]]. In classic Chris fashion, he uses most of the tutorial to blame everybody else for these problems, ranging from [[Bob]] for seeding [[Barb]] at a late age, to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Micheal Snyder]] for banning him for creepy and unacceptable behavior, before finally railing against random strangers on the street for not [[Ego|acknowledging]] him.

It is worth noting that the levels, just as most of Chris's other ''LittleBigPlanet'' projects, consist entirely of non-interactive cutscenes.

==Videos==

*[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Part 1]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 2|Part 2]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 3|Part 3]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 4|Part 4]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 5|Part 5]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Part 6|Part 6]]
*[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Extra]]

Autism Tutorial Part 6

2011-02-14T00:44:51Z

Blachman:

'''Autism Tutorial Part 6'''

The sixth entry introduces [[Mic]], who might be the new [[Wallflower]]. [[Chris]] proves that he's not satisfied with [[Friend zone|friendship]]. This devolves into a rant that echoes an earlier sentiment that Chris wants a cure for [[autism]]. The video ends with him finally returning the dance to [[Tiffany Gowen]] he expected to give her last year, via a [[LittleBigPlanet]] cutscene. Despite thousands of levels of free dancing sackboys to steal, Chris awkwardly (and possibly realistically) portrays the dance with one controller for almost a minute and a half. The level doesn't end properly, proving Chris's [[Fail|mastery]] of LittleBigPlanet's editing software.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|xga0M-h1tIE}}</Center>

===Transcript===

At this point, you would think I would be hap- a happier [[autistic]] person, right? Finally having the wom- the woman of my life to be here by my side, and care about each other and such for the rest of our lives? ([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) But, the truth is, for real... [[Mic]] and I, we don't hang out in person as much as we should be. Only phone conversations, and the few times we did hang out. And she does not know that many people here in [[Charlottesville]]. All things appreciated in our friendship... Mic is just ''too busy'' to help me best. (stress-sigh)

''(A text message appears reading "I'm sorry, Mic. You did what you could, and I always will appreciate it all. Good work, and thank you, friend.)''

Another thing about us autistic people, we do not like to be [[Chris|alone]] quote-unquote twenty-four-seven. We need the emotional support of a [[Gal-Pal|true friend]] constantly and in person. Also on another note, apparently [[Monthly Tugboat|government funding]] goes more towards physical health over [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental health]]. The brain is a part of our body, and not just any part, the most vital part! Why do we treat the rest of our body parts, which essentially ''alone'' are [[Chris|brainless]], better than our one actual central processing unit that is not brainless? As a part of the body, funds should be equally distributed, or equally divided, between both [[Duck|physical]] AND [[Autism|mental]] health. So that the cures for mental illnesses, including autism, can be found!

It just makes me feel sad and furious at this time. I for one [[Lies|actually appreciate]] a true and full good quality friendship. Yet in a world full of [[Chris|sick-minded]] people one can only detest, I feel so [[Stress|paranoid]] of a number of [[Trolls|people]]! And I feel uncertain of most anyone I could ever trust, an- or feel at ease around! The social [[Homos|phobias]], I can no longer [[Chris and Religion|tolerate]]. Which is why, unlike the autistic people, who pitifully accept it as a forever-lasting curse, I for one seek a cure! On the day a resolution to re-establishing all connections in our brains, with thorough corpus callosum repair, and such, I, Christian Weston Chandler will be there among the first in line to take the life-changing autism cure I have desired for soo long! To establish a quicker, more socially-active mind, a great sense of self-esteem, a great sense of self-reliance, a great sense of self-confidence, total independence, and freedom from the thorns of autism of any kind or sssort!

...The life... only an autistic person can ever dream of. I am Christian Weston Chandler, and this has been an autism tutorial. Thank you, and have a good and safe day.

''(A text-only section follows as Sack-Chris fondles and [[Rape|gropes]] a poor defenseless Sack-Tiffany, who struggles in vain to free herself from Sack-Chris's clutches.)''

A little Extra for the Real Tiff, who Graduated with me from Manchester High's Class of 2000. Among all of my Gal-friends, she understood me the most. I really, truly would love a chance to hang out with her and talk and whatever. It really would mean a lot to me. If you are watching this, Tiff, I miss you a lot: Please, come and hang out with me for a while.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Extra]]|}}

February 2011

2011-02-13T23:55:38Z

Blachman:

'''February 2011''' has begun with Chris playing ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2'' and dicking around on the PlayStation Network.

==Events==
* 8 February - Chris left a message on his ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' account begging for a change on the [[CWCki]] main page.<ref>http://lbp.me/v/w4vcbs</ref>
*12 February - The video [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]], made by Chris, is published.
*13 February - [[Ivy Q&A]] is released. Chris also releases the [[Autism Tutorial]].
*14 February - Chris still won't have a [[virgin with rage|Valentine]] OR even an [[Chloe|imaginary]] one this year.
*24 February - Chris's 29th [[birthday]].
*25 February - ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' will have gone one year without a single new page.

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

Autism Tutorial Extra

2011-02-13T23:54:46Z

Blachman:

{{quote|'''Ja!'''|Hans Asperger}}

'''Autism Tutorial Extra''' is a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level created by [[Chris]] where he proves, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|once again]] that he's in complete denial of what the [[Asperger syndrome]] really is. Interestingly, the level works in the same way for the [[Autism Tutorial]], as the [[Sub-Episodes]] did for the [[Sonichu comic]], namely with Chris proving his superiority over an obvious strawman by psychically assaulting him and then prattling on about how much unbearable torment the strawman in question has inflicted upon him.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|Pu75tzrwLAU}}</Center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:Hans_asperger.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Hans Asperger was a famed pediatrician whose work to improve the quality of life for autistic children earned him international renown and the admiration of thousands. In this video, Chris beats him up because he doesn't like his last name.]]
And now, ladies and gentlemen, because apparently after you decided to watch last part--after watching the Autism Tutorial, we have a special guest for you today! Please put your hands together for a reasonably facsimile, Mr. Hans Asperger!

(Hans Asperger is seen at the far end of the stage. He has gigantic bulging eyes and wears a crown. Chris walks over to join him, standing [[Homos|almost intimately close]] to shake his hand, as a backdrop and desk fall from the sky to complete the talk-show atmosphere. The man recording the video chuckles in amusement. After Chris walks over to his desk, Hans smiles and waves to an audience silent as the grave.)

I am your host, Christian Chandler, on this '''[[Duck|short]]''' talk show. And this is Mr. Hans Asperger. Now, let's talk about him for a bit: Now, apparently--Mr. Hans Asperger. From the Vienna University Hospital in 1938--Oh, how ''recent!''--you gave a lecture on "[[Chris|Autistic Psychopaths]]", after investigating a mild form of Autism. Isn't that right, Hans?

(Hans turns to face Chris.)

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(The man recording chuckles, and continues to snicker through Chris's next line.)

And also, apparently, this separate diagnosis, as it is quoted, was not recognized until 1981. Only one year before I was born. Although coined from your name, Mr. Asperger, apparently a Mr. Leo Kenner took the study much further and established the term "Early Infantile Autism". Do you applaud Mr. Kenner for his work?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(The recorder chuckles.)

''I see''. Now, in my feeling alone--possibly mutual with others--the name Aspergers. It strikes me badly, and I feel offended just by hearing the word. Do you feel I have the right to my own opinions and feelings as an individual person, Hans?

'''Hans:''' Ja! (It is clear by now that Hans does not understand English.)

Thank you very much, good sir. Now, do you feel--do you feel bad about having a name that sounds like a bad cut of cow meat?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you feel that I, Christian Weston Chandler, do not deserve any blame or punishment for having an opinion of a single word, such as Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you have a general understanding about how I feel about you now?

(Something falls from the sky and lands atop Chris's desk.)

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(Chris walks over to Hans again, once again intimately close.)

Are you ''positive'' you really understand how I feel about you, Mr. Hans Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

[[Random Access Humor|Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!]]

(Chris is suddenly very annoyed. He bitch-slaps Hans to the ground, to the delight of the recorder. It is also revealed that Hans has a tail.

[[Wikipedia:Baka_(fool)|Baka]]!

(Hans quickly regains his footing, facing away from Chris and looking over his shoulder in terror.)

I feel dislike towards you! ''(The chuckles of the recorder are very clear)'' For selfishly putting your ill name in association with autism! And with a name like Asperger! I feel it only makes us Autistic kind sound ''even worse!'' ''Aspergers.'' You shoulda left it as it was!. Autism is autism! And in your research you linked it up with psychopaths! I feel even more offended at ''that!'' Now get out of my sight!

'''Hans:''' Ja! (Hans quickly runs off the stage.)

(Chris looks out over the audience, crossing his hands in front of him.)

I do apologize for that, uh, rude outburst, [[Trolls|folks]]. But then again, that was just the way I felt and have been feeling about the word "Asperger" since I heard it a few years ago. It is my second least favorite word, where my first least favorite of all time is "[[Naive]]". Again, I apologize if I came off as bad to anybody, or made them feel bad, for the way I acted. But then again, I do get emotional and carried away sometimes. Thank you for watching, and have a good, safe, and blessed day.

(The game cuts to Hans standing in some sort of Level Completion area, still terrified. He stands there, legs quaking, as the screen behind him rattles off the achievements. Some tiny explosions of what appear to be glass go off around Hans's head as the video ends.)

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Current]]|}}

Autism Tutorial

2011-02-13T23:13:39Z

Blachman: Nope, the uploader is not Chris. It's just some dude who are showing them to us.

The '''Autism Tutorial''' is a series of 7 levels made by Chris in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2''. Contrary to what the name suggests, Chris does not manage to keep on topic, but quickly starts to talk at great length about his the problems own life, such as being banned from places and losing his [[galpal]]s. Chris tends to blame everyone for his problems in the tutorial, ranging from [[Bob]] for seeding [[Barb]] at a late age, to random strangers on the street for not [[Ego|acknowledging]] him.

It is worth noting that the levels, just as most of Chris's other ''LittleBigPlanet'' projects, consist entirely of non-interactive cutscenes.

==Videos==

[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Part 1]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 2|Part 2]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 3|Part 3]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 4|Part 4]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 5|Part 5]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 6|Part 6]]

[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Extra]]

Attraction Sign

2011-02-13T22:52:21Z

Blachman:

{{quote|The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he [Chris] could ever fucking think of|Chris<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Comicbook-Sign.png|thumb|An artist's rendition of the sign.]]
[[Image:FailSign.jpg|thumb|Another artist's impression of how the attraction sign worked.]]

[[Chris]] used an '''Attraction Sign''' during his [[Love Quest]] to get the attention of [[boyfriend-free girl]]s. Surprisingly, the sight of a [[Chris and health|fat, sweaty, smelly manchild]] soliciting with an Attraction Sign actually had the opposite effect on ladies.

An early version ran "I am a "X"-Year Old Male, Seeking an 18-"X"-Year Old Single Woman."<ref>[[White knight E-mails]]</ref>
==Signs==
===The Sign, Mark 1===
The original sign, created in [[2003]] when Chris first started his [[Love Quest]] at the age of 21, is perhaps the most notable and [[ED|lulzy]] of them all.
[[Image:511-JumboLoveQuestSign.JPG|thumb|The original Attraction Sign]]
:''21 and [[Virgin with rage|Single]] [[Chris and race|White]] [[Jerks|Male]]...''
:''-Shy -[[Honor roll|Smart]] -[[Pedofork|Young at Heart]] -[[CADD|Computer skilled]]''
:''-[[Random access humor|Humorous]] -A great [[Things Chris has ripped off|thinker]] and [[Monthly tugboat|go-getter]] -[[Cutco|"Natural salesperson"]] -Enjoys [[China|good parts of life]]''
:''-[[Death threats|Diplomatic]] -[[White_knight#Chris_made_himself_an_outcast|Friendly]] -Loves [[Cole Smithey|his family]] -[[Chris and anger|Peaceful]] -[[Chris and copyright|Very creative]] -_[[Virgin with rage|He's lonely]]_''
----
:''...Seeking a CUTE ♀18-21 [[Boyfriend-free girl|SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION]]''
:''<nowiki>*</nowiki>18-21 years of age <nowiki>*</nowiki>does _not_ already have a boyfriend <nowiki>*</nowiki>Single''
:''-[[Obesity|Average to Slender Weight/Body Type]] -[[Chris and race|White]] -Lives in [[Charlottesville|Charolettesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area''
:''<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[Tobacky|Does NOT Smoke]] or Drink [[Alcohol]] -Happy, Positive Personality''
:''<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[Chris and money|Average/High Income]] -[[Son-Chu|Drives a vehicle]]''
[image of [[Sonichu]]'s face][[Chris and copyright|©]] ➨
----
:''If any ♂MEN♂ read this huge sign...''
:''[[Homos|MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!]]''
:''(And to all [[Jerks|MEN with girlfriends]], except marrieds and [[Niggos|blacks]], go jump off a cliff)''
:''Have a nice day ☺''

Chris had other ideas beyond signs, but said that ''"[[Sonichu's News Dash!|Newspaper]]/[[Nintendo Power|Magazine]] Ads, [[Facebook|Online]] [[MySpace|Dating Sites]], [[YouTube|Video Dating Services]] to name a few; [[Chris and money|THEY COST MONEY]]."''

==The Sign through the ages==

One reason for the multiple signs is that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] kept [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked Out of College|confiscating]] them. Chris waged war by creating [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]] accounts, then printing new signs and spamming them all over campus.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
Image:137-NDSAttractop.jpg|Sign from age 22. Based on its shape, it is likely meant to be attached to the cover of a [[Nintendo]] DS.
Image:135-LoveSearchBookCover.jpg|Cover of a pamphlet on attracting girls.
Image:133-Sign.jpg|Sign from age 23.
Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|Miscellaneous paraphernalia used in conjunction with the Attraction Sign.
Image:108-PlanForAttraction.jpg|Plan B: Use a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.
</gallery></center>

It is also known that, after the loss of his Sign at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], he resorted to [[Wikipedia:Post-it note|Post-It Notes]] stuck to [[Pedo-Glasses|his glasses]] and walking uncomfortably close to girls. This did not last long either.{{cite}}

==Hiatus==

Chris deserted the Sign for a brief period.

{{quote|During all this, I learned from [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] that the sign made me look [[slow in the mind|retarded]], and eventually, I did away with the sign.|Chris<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search]]</ref>}}
==Return of the Sign==

In [[June 2010]], Chris wore a shirt saying "I Enjoy Vagina" and exposing [[Muscle bra|his bra]] saying "Want Woman!" over [[Obesity|his flabby gut]], thus showing that he's not even trying anymore.<ref>[[Fridays After Five]]</ref> While less pleasant and more direct than the Attraction Signs, his reasoning for each seems to be the same: if he just reveals to [[boyfriend-free girls]] what he wants via literal, verbal language, any of them will want to give it to him regardless of how bizarre, off-putting, and out of touch with their wants and needs that revelation is. This lends even further credence to his ridiculous [[Monthly tugboat|sense]] [[GodJesus|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]] and that he never understood why the Sign made him look like a retard in the first place and he hasn't grown, matured, or learned anything since he stopped using it.

A few weeks later, on 4 [[July 2010]], Chris attempted to attract a woman at a local fireworks celebration by wrapping a note around a small rock and throwing it at her. Combined with the earlier "Want Woman!" tactic, this caused several [[trolls]] to assume Chris was beginning to turn into some sort of caveman.

Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at [[Fridays After Five]] again. In both photographs, he is shown to have placed a small piece of paper between his legs. Exactly what he wrote on it is unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that Chris has reverted to the Attraction Sign once more, likely because someone told him that he shouldn't show children his [[sports bra]]. Hilarity can be expected to ensue if this behavior continues.

On 16 [[July 2010]], Chris again terrorized the poor women of [[Charlottesville]] at the [[Fridays After Five]] gathering, with a new sign that read "[[Homos|Friendly and Flirty Man Zone]]".<ref>[[Fridays After Five]]</ref> He also employed a portable mini fan and a [[Wikipedia:Hula hoop|hula hoop]], in what [[trolls|experts]] believe is probably a desperate attempt to make himself look fun and cool. '''Spoiler Alert:''' [[fail|It didn't work]].

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Attraction Location]]
* [[Red String of Fate]]

==Sauces==
<references/>
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

Autism Tutorial

2011-02-13T22:49:54Z

Blachman:

The ''Autism Tutorial'' is 7 levels Chris made in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2''. [[Sonichu (comic)|Contrary to what the name suggests, Chris does not manage to keep on tropic, but quickly starts to talk at great length about his past and the problems in his own life]], such as being banned from places and losing his [[galpal]]s, which has totally nothing to do with the fact that he loiters and acts creepy. Chris tends to blame everyone for his problems in the tutorial, ranging from [[Bob]] for seeding [[Barb]] at a late age, to random strangers on the street for not [[Ego|acknowledging]] him.

It is worth noting that the levels, just as most of Chris's other ''LittleBigPlanet'' projects, consist entirely of non-interactive cutscenes.

==Videos==

[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Part 1]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 2|Part 2]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 3|Part 3]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 4|Part 4]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 5|Part 5]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 6|Part 6]]

[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Extra]]

Autism Tutorial

2011-02-13T22:46:21Z

Blachman:

The ''Autism Tutorial'' is 7 levels Chris made in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2''. [[Sonichu (comic)|Contrary to what the name suggests, Chris does not manage to keep on tropic, but quickly starts to talk at great length about the problems in his own life]], such as being banned from places and losing his [[galpal]]s, which has totally nothing to do with the fact that he loiters and acts creepy. Chris tends to blame everyone for his problems in the tutorial, ranging from [[Bob]] for seeding [[Barb]] at a late age, to random strangers on the street for not [[Ego|acknowledging]] him.

It is worth noting that the levels, just as most of Chris's other ''LittleBigPlanet'' projects, consist entirely of non-interactive cutscenes.

==Videos==

[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Part 1]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 2|Part 2]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 3|Part 3]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 4|Part 4]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 5|Part 5]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 6|Part 6]]

[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Extra]]

Autism Tutorial

2011-02-13T22:42:33Z

Blachman:

The ''Autism Tutorial'' is 7 levels Chris made in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2''. Contrary to what the name suggests, Chris does not manage to keep on tropic, but quickly starts to talk at great length about his the problems own life, such as being banned from places and losing his [[galpal]]s, which has totally nothing to do with the fact that he is a creepy loiter. Chris tends to blame everyone for his problems in the tutorial, ranging from [[Bob]] for seeding [[Barb]] at a late age, to random strangers on the street for not [[Ego|acknowledging]] him.

It is worth noting that the levels, just as most of Chris's other ''LittleBigPlanet'' projects, consist entirely of non-interactive cutscenes.

==Videos==

[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Part 1]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 2|Part 2]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 3|Part 3]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 4|Part 4]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 5|Part 5]]

[[Autism Tutorial Part 6|Part 6]]

[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Extra]]