CWCki - User contributions [en]

CWC's Sonichu Site!

2015-02-18T14:12:04Z

Blonichu:

[[File:Scom.PNG|thumb|250px|Bright gaudy background colors seem to be mandatory on vanity pages.]]

'''CWC's Sonichu Site!''' (full title: '''The Official & The Originial '''''[sic]'' '''From Christian Weston Chandler the Sonichu and Rosechu Site!''') was Chris's homepage for the [[Sonichu]] franchise. It existed in various incarnations from [[2000]] to [[August 2009]], and was a regular target of hacking by trolls following Chris's discovery in 2007. Half a decade later, Chris's Facebook friends helped him make a new site, which was pretty much nonfunctional and error-ridden during its astonishing 10-day life.

== Design ==

Chris liked to harp on how he took two HTML classes and likes to construct his page on [[Wikipedia:Netscape Composer|Netscape Composer]], a mercifully discontinued software product. It is fairly obvious that either the HTML classes didn't teach good web design principles, or Chris slept through those sections.

The main hub of the Sonichu site was the front page. Chris dumped everything on the front page, all of the content centered. Chris also added things to the page in random places with little thought as to where they would go, and didn't really have the time and energy to update the page. In its later incarnations, the page had mentions of ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' material, Chris's changes to the comic, and had "[[Copyright]] CWC and [[Nintendo]]", long after the end of the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

Chris's site also boasted that it was a member of the "Super [[Sonic]] Webring"; closer inspection reveals that Chris's site is not listed as a member of the webring, and Chris failed to insert the correct codes (i.e., he failed to put in his member ID, leaving "_SITE_ID_HERE_" in the links) — this simple failure to follow very simple setup instructions may have been why he was not approved as a member, as Webring owners usually checked this. His Fastcounter link is also broken. In its earliest incarnations Chris had a MIDI playing in the background, just to get that old Web 1.0 feel.

=== Sonichu-Fans (2008) ===

'''Sonichu-Fans''' was a small sub-site of Sonichu.net, created by [[PandaHalo]], and meant for use by Chris's [[fans]]. Chris introduced it with:

{{quotebox|**NEW and OFFICIALLY APPROVED, it is the Sonichu & Rosechu Fan Site, AKA the OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Chat Page.** It is worth CHECKING OUT, what with the APPROVED Fan Content from my well-trusted Webmaster of the Page. Including Sonichu & Rosechu Bio Blocks, Coloring Pages, a few bits of Random Intelligence from the TRUE Man Behind the Electric-Hedgehog, Christian Weston Chandler. And OF COURSE the Well-Created, Java-Designed Sonichu & Rosechu Chat Box for the TRUE, GOOD, LOYAL Sonichu & Rosechu Fans to gather and chat (Sometimes I'll make an appearance to answer some questions).}}

Most of the site's features were never really created. Its most notable feature was "Sonichu fan chat", a Java [[IRC]] applet that connected to [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|Rizon's #sonichu channel]]. In the days following its introduction, Chris appeared in the fan chat in person a few times.

=== Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack (early 2009 - May 2009) ===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack}}

After the nuclear winter following the release of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris had made a solemn promise not to release any more naughty imagery. Naturally, he had to break this vow when he found out about the [[Sonichu Girls]] forum and wanted to impress the members.

== Content ==
===Earliest Appearance===
[[File:Sonichu site original.png|thumb|The incredibly garish original appearance.]]
In terms of content, Chris's Sonichu site was at first almost identical to [[CWC's Pokésite 2]]. There were links to game reviews, his [[Sonichu's News Dash!]], his [[Wall of Originals|original Sonic cards]], and most importantly, a link to his "About the Author" page. Guests could listen to a remixed version of "Sonic Boom" The main visual portrayed Sonic and Sonichu as equals, and the centered text didn't even play up Sonichu. It read simply:
[[File:193-soniclgo.jpg|thumb|Original main visual.]]
{{quotebox|
Welcome...

To my new Sonic the Hedgehog Site!

Enjoy your visit. 8)

Please visit again for many Updates, be sure to Bookmark us, and be sure to tell your friends about us, too. And, Please sign my Guestbook.}}

As Chris created new minor sites over the years, like his [[Hot Wheels]] page and his [[LEGO|Bionicle]] site, he provided links. In 2002, he added something called "The Sonichu Chronicles Slideshow." In general, he does not seem to have given much attention to the site during its first several years.

===The influence of the [[Love Quest]]===
In 2003 and 2004, Chris's life became focused on the Love Quest, and in early 2004, he reinvented the Sonichu Site as a platform for advertising himself and his artistic geinus.

{{quotebox|*We interrupt this view with a special bulliten, the Sonichu Site is finally updated with all new GameCube and Game Boy Advance information. 8)
And the All New Sonichu's News Dash! Newsletter!}}

The reinvigorated News Dash, of course, was more than anything else a tool to acquire a girlfriend. Chris also added his romantic fantasy [[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]. His "About the Author" section was updated to include one of his first lists of qualifications for a sweetheart. He also highlighted Sonichu's first appearance in Nintendo Power magazine, and the later "personal ad" in the magazine in which he discussed his [[noviophobia]]. By 2006, the central visual on the site was a cartoon representation of Chris himself, and the "About the Author" section was the first and most important link, given priority even over [[Sonichu 0|issue #0 of Sonichu]].

Links to new issues of Sonichu were added as they appeared. At a moment of writer's block, he wrote:

{{quotebox|*The uploading of the Sonichu Issues #3 and 4 images were inspired by the local Sonichu Fan Club of Charlottesville, Virginia.*

<nowiki>*</nowiki>Thank You all for reminding me to get off my duff and back to drawing the fun Sonichu comics.* :j

As a man of my word, I promise them and you all that there will be many more issues to come onto CWC's Sonichu Site!}}

Upon [[Megan]]'s rejection, he temporarily lost inspiration, and had to note:

{{quotebox|*Sonichu Issue Number Six is still in the works, as I progress through my lonesome depression.}}

As with all his sites, he used the site to scream about [[Adam Stackhouse]] and the [[Parappa Contest]].

Shortly after producing his [[DVD]], he highlighted his new educational video, and indicated that he was starting to receive some ridicule for his opinions:

{{quotebox|For the benefit of the Present and the Future beyond my 25th Birthday on Februrary 24, 2007, I have created this movie which was on the "Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On T.V." DVD.

So, I present for you all, straight from my Director's Cut, "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Christian Weston Chandler's Future Message]] 022407."

Enjoy, Learn, and [[homos|Stay Straight]] (I AM SERIOUS).}}

===Chris discovers his fandase===
According to plan, by mid-2008 Chris believed that he had an extensive fandase, and he started to make demands. In August he made a significant update to the site with a statement he also placed on his [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|blog]]:

{{quotebox|'''An Important Update'''

With the Sonichu Fanbase growing wildly with lots of energtic Hype, I am ready to take '''Sonichu''' and my world of '''Cwcville''' back to Nintendo of America and SEGA of America. And upon the unity in business between '''Nintendo''', the company who provided me with my second gaming system, the Game Boy, after my very first '''Commodore 64''' computer, '''SEGA''', the company who introduced '''Sonic the Hedgehog''' as not only my Life-Long Hero, after the American Rabbit, but as the True Role Model Icon I am proud to have learned some of my attitudes and beliefs from since 1991, and myself, '''Christian Weston Chandler''', we will make Sonichu and Rosechu and their world being more Real than I was able to make them by myself with pen and markers in hand, and a vasly-knowledgeable imagination.

You won't be able to truly say you've "Caught Them All", until you've caught the Original Sonichu and Rosechu in a CWC Approved Nintendo/Sega Pok'emon Lightning Version on GBA and DS to catch a great share of the other currently avilable '''Four Hundred and Ninty-Three''' Pok'emon.

Think you know the ins and outs of Sonichu and Rosechu, wait until Season Two of the Comic Book Series, likely to start within the year 2009. I will withdraw myself from being as intrusive in the series as I have been so far; I've been selfish, and I'm tired of drawing myself so much. See how I take my leave of Cwcville in the Season Finale, to hopefully be uploaded and on the Sonichu Site 4th Quarter, 2008 or 1st Quarter, 2009.

And because I've been hogging the spotlight, you don't know Sonichu and Rosechu as you properly should. In the first CWC Approved Release of the "Sonichu's Adventure" video game, with Nintendo and SEGA's help, on Nintendo Wii (although it was intended originally for Gamecube), with compatibility with the Wii Classic Controler as well as Gamecube Contoller, with rumble functionality hopefully. Sonichu is more than Lightning and Lightning-Speed, and Rosechu is more than delightful Bolts and Heart-Felt for Sonichu. Play on, as they rescue each other from the darkest evil that has manifested itself within some recycled nuts and bolts on the moon. And what a storyline it will have, based mostly from the comics with the duo and the Chaotic Combo as well.

And I HAVE the idea for the Video Game for myself, if I can swing that with SEGA as well, an epic tale of my tragic Adult Life straight from my tortured heart and soul. I will bring the pain to the Jerkops, I will kick Mary Lee Walsh into her cauldron to burn, as well as the other villians. And I will have support from my Electric-Hedgehogs, my mother and father, my Closest Gal-Pals who I've grown to love; '''Megan Schroeder''' and '''Anna McLerran''' to name a couple, sparingly in the game. And I will square-off in the TRULY SELF-EPIC Battle between me, and my Dark Half. I plan to have THIS GAME ALONE go Multi-Console between Nintendo Wii, Playstation 2 and Playstation 3 (with downloadable content).

'''And All This CAN come to Fruition... with YOUR HELP!'''

The populace of Sonichu, Rosechu and Christian Chandler fans. All I ask for in minimum, is to contact Nintendo of America AND SEGA of America by way of POSTING in their respective FORUMS, sending them E-Mails, and, HIGHLY Recommended, Hand-Written Letters to BOTH Companies, that You Want Sonichu, and that they should get in touch with me, Christian Weston Chandler, via Telephone or Snail-Mail, or In Person. Both Companies have my information in their computers, as I have written to them a number of times in my lifetime.

'''Who do you want to catch?'''

Sonichu and Rosechu!

'''Who's the Underdog Director you've grown to know?'''

Christian Weston Chandler!

'''When Do You Want Nintendo and SEGA to Talk to Me to EVOLVE Sonichu and Rosechu more Realistically?'''

'''NOW!!!'''}}

His fans were instrumental in helping Chris win a [[Guitar Hero]] [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]]:

{{quotebox|**Vote for Me to get me as possibly a Playable Character in a Future Guitar Hero Game, with Sonichu & Rosechu in my Band!**

ONLY the above Picture is Officially on that Sweepstakes Page, and the matching "gid" in the address is equal ONLY TO 1252; ALL OTHER GID NUMBERS of any similar pictures of myself are IMPOSTORS. Please Report them to the Sweepstakes People, especially the one I've found whose GID is 1503.}}

{{quotebox|Your Voices Have Been TRULY HEARD!

I just got the Legitimate Call from the GameStop Corporation in Texas Yesterday, and I AM THE TRUE FIRST WINNER of the $400 Gift Card Weekly Winners. Now all there is to do, is wait and hope that they pick me to be a Playa in a Future Guitar Hero Game, with Sonichu & Rosechu in my band.

Thank You All, my Loyal Sonichu & Rosechu Fans!}}

He also discussed his utilization of [[Little Big Planet]] to advertise Sonichu:

{{quotebox|'''Playstation 3 2nd Anniversary LittleBiGPlanet Level.'''

My loyal fans, I am finishing my 18th episode comic. But Also, I have Published a New LittleBiGPlanet Level, "[[PS3 History Level|LBC1-CWC's Playstation 3 History]]" for a chance to win the RARE Crown for my Sonichu Sackboy (See Image of Sonichu in LBP above). Anyway, ALL of you who play LBP on your PS3, or plan to do so, Please Heart this Level (Hearting is like "Favoriting"); the Top 5 Levels will consist of those "LBC1-" Levels with the MOST HEARTS.

I have also uploaded a video onto YouTube of a Play-Through of the Level, so enjoy. :)}}

He was excited to learn that this effort paid off:

{{quotebox|I have CAUGHT Media Molecule's Attention with MY LBC1-Level! And to quote them,

{{quoteboxred|CWC's PLAYSTATION 3 History Level

Brought to use by Sonichu, his PLAYSTATION 3 History level is a definitely must see. Complete with a series of mini- games and innovative mechanisms, we were enthralled by the amount of content and PS3 features the level was able to highlight. We especially like how Sonichu took full advantage of the PLAYSTATION Eye by presenting a detailed lineup of various movies and games from the PLAYSTATION / BlueRay family.}}

Thank You, Media Molecule; YOU have just made my Thanksgiving Day of 2008! :D

I also have a few more ideas of improvement, like an area above the Game/Blu-Ray selection with games and Movies that I don't have in my Collection that ARE CHOICE.

If you have any suggestions, please e-mail your PS3 Game/Blu-Ray Movie Choices List to me @ ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, or send me a message over the Playstation Network to my PSNID: Sonichu.

Happy Thanksgiving to ALL my Sonichu & Rosechu Fans, Sony and Media Molecule! :D}}

===Trolls seize control===
Soon, Chris believed that he was in contact with Nintendo, and reassured his fans:

{{quotebox|'''**From the WORDS of my Nintendo Lawer**'''

Just to put the MATTER TO REST, from the words of my Nintendo Lawyer, who has been Most Trustworthy and Helpful, states in an e-mail he sent to me Janurary 7, 2008, and I quote:

SEGA has never disaproved of the Sonichu franchise, even when I directly conversed with the head of their Legal department (which they also have In-house), You don't have to worry about any legal issue, unless I inform you of a problem I have come across, Otherwise it is false or rumor.

SO, I TELL YOU ALL IN THE FANBASE, IT IS ALL GOOD BETWEEN NINTENDO AND SEGA ON SONICHU, ROSECHU AND ALL STORY PARTS THEREIN.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES!

COME ON, PLAYSTATION 3 & LITTLEBiGPLANET! :D}}

When [[JK Productions]] got in touch in August 2008, he included a link:

{{quotebox|Also, for the Video Game Ideas, The Official CWC Approved Sonichu Video Game Blog is up and running at <nowiki>http://sonichugame.blogspot.com/</nowiki>.}}

But on 11 September 2008, in part because of opposition from his video game partner, he declared:

{{quotebox|**After Serious Consideration and numerous complaints, I HAVE REMOVED the explicit sexual pages from EPISODE 17 of Comic #8, And as GOD Promised NEVER again to Flood the earth with a Rainbow over Noah's Ark, I cast My Rainbow of Promise to NEVER AGAIN Draw or Upload any Further Images between Sonichus and Rosechus in EPISODE 18 of Comic #8, as well as ALL Future Comics, that depict explicit sexuality. I, Chritian Weston Chandler, Humbly and Sincerely, From the Bottom of my Heart, Apologize to EVERYONE who has read the 17th Episode before September 10, 2008, after the Waterloo of an Episode was uploaded on September 9, 2008. Thank you for your Patronage and Growing Fanbase.**

Also, after a good number of e-mails sent from my fanbase, I have removed the anatomy of Sonichu & Rosechu from the 17th Episode, and I have re-uploaded the two pages of Rosechu's sampling of Centerfold pics. Also, look forward to more similar pics in the side-project of that mentioned parody of "Pokeboy" magazine, that will feature sexy pics, and short biographies, of some of the female characters in bathing suits or bra/panties featured so far in the world of Sonichu & Rosechu to further ensue my Peaceful Protest against the Slanderous E.D. Page.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>No Target date has been set for the one-issue magazine.**}}

When Chris suffered a major hacking, he reassured his readers on 17 September 2008:

{{quotebox|It's been a rough day for me on this 17th of September, but I am recovering over time.}}

On 11 December 2008, he warned:

{{quotebox|'''IMPORTANT REMINDER'''

I have NOT YET APPROVED any Sonichu or Rosechu Merchandise, yet someone has POSED as me and said that I had "approved" some t-shirtS; '''DO NOT BUY!''' They have NOT received my official consent or approval AT ALL.}}

===2009: The final months===

In early 2009, Chris was contacted by the creative minds behind Nintendo and entered into [[Miyamoto Saga|discussions]] to turn Sonichu into a video game. In compliance with their wishes, he posted:

{{quotebox|'''Restoration Update, January 15, 2009:'''

Sonichu.net is FULLY RESTORED (with a sacrifice; I could not restore the [[Transformers|Bionicle Site]]; it will be remembered). The only item remaining is the Restoration of the Sub-Domain Sonichu & Rosechu Fan Site from my [[PandaHalo|Sweetheart and Partner]].

The Comic Book [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Changes]] previously Advised by [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Mr. Miyamoto]] are listed below

* Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha will be known as Shin-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha

* Mary Lee Walsh will be known as Slaweel Ryam the Witch

* Sarah Nicole Hammer (Spicer) will be known as Nicole Rammer

* Wes Iseli will be known as Walter Grisby

* Hanna to Fandanna

* Bagget to Dagget

* Megan Schroeder, although personally agreed for me to use her name and such, she will continued to be known affectionately as Meg-Chan.

* Jason Kendrick Howell and Kathleen Nicole Wallace will only be reffered to by ther FIRST NAMES ALONE.

* Laura Beth Dorazio to Laura B. Dorzio

* Joseph Herring to Joe Herr

* Joseph Cole Smithey (my half-brother/NYC Movie Reviewer on colesmithey.com) to "Joe Cool" Smithey

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Also Real-Life product and store placements have either been removed or changed, such as "Trojan" to "Jimmy", and the AXE Ad being removed.}}

A short time later, he suffered one in a series of hacking attempts, and on 3 February he announced:

{{quotebox|**Attention! As .NET was OFFICIALLY DENOUNCED and cited as Obsolete, the Troll, [[Jason Kendrick Howell|J.K.H.]] has uploaded his COPIED FILES and such to make a Copycat of the NEW, TRUE Sonichu & Rosechu Site that is NOW, as of January 16, 2009, Sonichu.info. DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING that is ON .net from the 16th of January. Besides which, you can SEE A NUMBER of differences that seperate the TRUE Sonichu & Rosechu Site from the Obsolete and now FAKE, sonichu.net.

I'd list the differences, but I feel that the True, Loyal Fanbase can tell the Differences, and KNOW to update their bookmarks as such. Also, I have uploaded a Self-Recoreded [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|Update Video]] onto YouTube advertising the FACT.}}

After yet another hacking of one of his domains, Chris wrote on 9 April 2009:

{{quotebox|'''**Welcome to Cwcville.com**'''

Finally Back UP AND RUNNING again after the past "[[Julie]]" Fiasco.
I am currently drawing pages for the #9 Book, and more pages will be drawn/colored at a rate of 3 pages-a-day, with due inspiration from my Sweetest [[Ivy]]. I may have lost the third hand-made medal, but I still have my whitty, charming and humble personality. And with God and Jesus Guiding me to my Prayers' Answer, I shall perservere.

* The currently colored/uncolored hand-drawn pages for Book #9 will be uploaded within the next few days from today, the 9th of April, Y2K9.

* A Good (Suitable for Youth and Teens) Fan Art Section will be added in the near future to Cwcville.com.

* Maybe a Cwcville Map to navigate between the Sonichu Site, and the few other sub-sites, and sections.

* No dang dirty Trolls will keep me down.

Love and Peace,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler.}}

On 1 May he updated:

{{quotebox|'''The Sonichu Quiz is on BUZZ! Quiz TV (Another good reason to get a Playstation 3).'''

Yes, BUZZERS! I have officially uploaded two Official Sonichu and Rosechu [[Quizzes]] on MyBUZZQuiz.com, as well as a quiz about me personally, and the [[Dating Education]] Quiz (minus one True/False question and the Essay Portion) is on there too.

Also, the #9 Book is progressing at a steady, consistant pace, and will be uploaded in shortly a due time. I express my deepest gratitude for your paitence in my time to create, while I am also surrounded by stressful inputs from the Trolls, financial news and other recent news topics as well.

But I thank God and Jesus Every Day for sending '''Ivy''' My Way, and I look forward to her arrival into my home and into my arms. :)}}

After one final hacking, Chris gave up on this site altogether and shifted his attention to [[Wikipedia]] and the [[CWCipedia]].

== Hosting history ==
=== Primordial origins (August 2000 - 2007) ===
The original incarnation of the Sonichu Site was hosted on the near-legendary free host for crappy personal web pages, [[Wikipedia:Tripod.com|Tripod]], at <nowiki>http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm</nowiki> (http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm). As the site was launched back when it was not yet a crime to violate aesthetics and common sense in web design, Chris's page blended right in. Before this, [[CWC's Pokésite 1]] and [[CWC's Pokésite 2]] were hosted on AcmeCity (go.com), another popular host for ineptly cobbled-together personal pages.

Chris even reminisces about his "Sonichu Site Filing Facility Hosted by Tripod" in [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]] — not that it makes any frigging sense. It is probably just some sort of a comic-page manifestation of a psychotic break. He even calls this "burning the Tripod bridge". The fact that trolls hacked the site must have been particularly traumatizing to Chris.

In the comic, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] defeats some devil [[trolls]], moves his files away from Tripod and bombs the crap out of the site, then says "Tripod was weak, in security, and it lacked the support for Flash media, anyway". In truth, Chris's site was hacked entirely due to his weak passwords and sloppy security practices (for example, in security questions, he has put in answers that could be looked up from the web; everyone knows his [[Mary Poppins|favorite film]]). And fascinatingly enough, [[CWCipedia]] doesn't support [[Wikipedia:Flash animation|Flash]] either — otherwise, we'd be thrilled to see what kind of craziness his two HTML classes could inspire him to create in Flash.

=== sonichu.net (2007 - January 2009) ===

Established in [[2007]] sometime after trolls registered [[sonichu.com]] (in Christian's words, "nothing but net."). Was hacked at least twice (read: Chris gave out his passwords). Sonichu.net was hacked in [[January 2009]] by [[Gregg Mays]], prompting Chris to show his [[fangs]]. The domain was sold on [[eBay]] and is currently used to host a [[parody]] CWCville homepage. In February 2010, it became a redirect to Meatspin.

=== sonichu.info (January 2009) ===

Quickly established in [[January 2009]] to replace sonichu.net, and just as quickly hacked. The site now redirects to [http://www.sonichu.110mb.com sonichu.110mb.com]. When the man takes you away, do not resist.

=== sonichuandrosechu.com (Early 2009 - August 2009) ===

After a hiatus Chris finally relaunched his site here. It lasted a little longer until he gave his password to [[Julie]] with predictable results. This incarnation is most notable for seeing the debut of Chris's official Rule 34 section, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]]. As of [[October 2014|October]], the site is now a redirect to other websites.

=== cwcville.com (April 2009 - May 2009) ===

After another hiatus, Chris relaunched his site at this new domain on 9 [[April 2009]]. Since Chris doesn't know how to manage the mess of links he has created, some remain broken such as the one to [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], so you'd have to change the domain name to visit it. Da major update he made to this site was to paste his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|autobiography]] after it got deleted from [[Wikipedia]].

On 15 [[May 2009]] it was hacked yet again, and featured [[Homos|gay pride]] imagery and a message that demanded the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. This was later replaced with images of [[Joshua Martinez]] and [[Vanessa Hudgens]], some of the pictures suggesting that they have some sort of a [[sweethearts|relationship]].

=== [http://www.spergweb.com/SonichuOnline/ spergweb.com/SonichuOnline] (November 2014) ===
On 20 [[November 2014]], Chris's Facebook white knight Kenneth Englehart (affectionately known among Christorians as "Kengle") created the first Sonichu website in 5 years, on which Chris could dump his [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue arm]] ramblings. While this motive may at first seem in line with those of Chris's trolls--motivating Chris to produce new content remains a unanimous goal among them--Kengle's reasoning for setting up the site is rather more unusual. As a 56-year-old man who still lives with his parents, Kengle's primary goal in life is/was to befriend Chris by giving him a safe-space to vent the tard-rage trigger of the day. At the time of its creation, the site was barely functional, and drenched in the amateurish 90s HTML stylings that only two unemployed adult autists could achieve. At least one page was created (http://www.spergweb.com/SonichuOnline/Profiles%20and%20Biography.html) which was Chris's partial biography page directly copied from his [[Chris's_Wikipedia_profile|Wikipedia profile]]. Links suggested that the site would contain Sonichu character profiles, the comics themselves and other classic Chris content. Note that although the site was meant to be about the lore of Sonichu, Ken only ever bothered to make the vanity page about Chris himself.

The site also contained a forum with very strict moderation--some users from the [[CWCki Forums]] made accounts so they could dick around, but found that the site had ceased to exist before they had their accounts verified. Presumably, Ken intended to coerce Chris into posting, but of course it never happened.

The page received DDoS attacks from [[weening|weens]] almost immediately after creation, and it later began providing the user with 404 errors. Ken had inexplicably hosted the site on the domain "[[Asperger syndrome|sperg]]web.com". It is not clear why Ken chose this domain to host a site for Chris, a guy known for being a notorious Asperger hater, or even why he would own it at all. Chris expressed a general distrust of the site, no doubt thanks to the domain name. One of Chris's white knights at the ass-patting [[Keep Sonic Original]] festival stated that it was being "redesigned".

The website is now a redirect to a generic "This domain is available for sale" screen, indicating the website has now been shut down permanently. Kengle confirmed this on his Facebook, claiming that he has "other things going on in life", what with his stamp collecting and all. It's more likely that Kengle saw Chris's complaint about the site as some kind of threat to their potential friendship and immediately nuked the site, so as not to offend Great Director Chandler. This makes Spergweb the most short-lived website Chris (not counting his Facebook friends) has ever technically owned, lasting a mere 10 days on the web. If anything, it's probably the most short-lived website in the history of computing.

==Gallery==
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== See also ==
* [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]]
* [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
* [[CWCki|Sonichu.com]]
* [[Chris and the Internet]]
== External links ==
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/ An archived of version of the original Sonichu site in all of its homely autistic glory]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Nathanael Greene Elementary School

2015-02-11T23:35:05Z

Blonichu:

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Nathaniel Greene School.jpg|thumb|Nathanael Greene Elementary School, Stanardsville]]

'''Nathanael Greene Elementary School''' is an elementary school in [[Wikipedia:Stanardsville, Virginia|Stanardsville, Virginia]], a 192-acre (78-ha) town (to put that in perspective, [[Wikipedia:Cuyamaca Community College|this community college]] is about the same size as the whole town), which basically consists of a highway intersection. The school is named for the [[Wikipedia:American Revolutionary War|Revolutionary War]] hero [[Wikipedia:Nathanael Greene|Nathanael Greene]]. [[Chris]] attended [[Wikipedia:Fourth grade|fourth-grade]] classes at this school. To this day, he consistently misspells the school's namesake as "Nathan'''i'''el Greene."

[[Bob]] pulled Chris out of the school after Chris was allegedly abused by [[Bruce Johnson|the principal]] and members of the staff.

{{quote|...they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha--with, uh holding my wrists and my ankles|Chris on his teachers and principals<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>}}

Chris has also claimed that his time at Nathanael Greene inspired and justifies his hatred for [[homos]], since [[Bruce Johnson|the principal]] who allegedly assaulted him was supposedly gay.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009]]</ref> If this sounds a little odd to you, well, we're just getting started.

Based on "physical abuse from 5 faculty members", Chris's parents took the case to [[Wikipedia:Greene County, Virginia|Greene County]] court. After the school board threatened to take Chris out of mainstream schools, Bob and Chris moved to [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

==Why Chris left==
{{quote|There was conflict over where he would have his schooling. The school system or the Department of Social Services had attempted to place the patient in a special school. His parents were very adamant that he be in a mainstream high school. In order to maintain custody of the patient, the patient's father moved them to Richmond, Virginia.|Jeff Raynor, M.D., 5 November 2004<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref>}}

The [[autism papers]] confirm that Chris's parents moved him out of Greene County to avoid the possibility of having Chris admitted to a special school. Still, a clear picture of what actually took place has never come together. In his accounts of and references to the incident, Chris unsurprisingly leaves out important details (such as what prompted the school staff to "abuse" him) and tends to spin the story in a way that favors him.

==Chris's side of the story==
Though Chris does briefly complain about getting an "F" in the fourth grade during the "[[Song of Christian]]", he doesn't mention anything else about his time at Nathanael Greene in that video. The earliest documented mention by Chris of the incident which led to his departure from the school was made in 2003 in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] in which Chris blamed the incident on the faculty's lack of knowledge on how to deal with an autistic child. Chris alluded to the incident once more in [[Story of My Current Days]] ("my torturing past with the jerks of the Greene County School System") but did not elaborate any further. His earliest detailed account of the incident appears in his first major YouTube address to the world, from 7 [[November 2007]].

{{quote|...some of the teachers and principals of Nathanael Greene Elementary School… that I was attending in later years (about, uh, late 1980s, early 1990s) [inhales sharply] They abused me—they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha—with, uh, holding my wrists and my ankles, pinning me down to the ground and—and audio-taping my cries and shouts. But, anyway, my mother and my father, they both fought the court system, the Greene County court system, which, uh, they were not a very nice bunch of people, very not. Hands down. But, anyway, we eventually moved to Chesterfield County for a nice, better school system.|Chris, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]}}

He recounted a similar, but shorter version of the story in his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#His_Early_Years_-_Birth_to_1992|Wikipedia profile]].

{{quote|Some conflict between my mother, father and the school system occurred after physical abuse from 5 faculty members late in my 4th Grade; my parents took the case against the Greene County School Board for a year or two. The board threatened to lock me away in an institution, and my family did not want that, so in September, 1992, my family and I moved to Chesterfield County, while keeping our Ruckersville Home, for better Schooling.|Chris, on Wikipedia, 01 May 2009.}}

In the [[Father Call]], from [[November 2009]], Chris brought up the incident more or less out of nowhere, seemingly as a bid for sympathy.

{{quote|Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school ... prinstapull ... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber? ... They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution!|Chris, [[Father Call]]}}

One of the [[Common Questions]] Chris answered in the Mailbag in November 2009 asked him to list the 10 worst things that had happened in his life. The elementary-school incident came in at number 10.

{{quote|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade.|It was worse than The Autism, but not as bad as leaving high school.}}

==Chris's other side of the story==
In early 2009, Chris began to reveal another facet to his story, claiming that the principal was a [[pedofork|pedophile]]. He alluded to this element of the story in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|Captain's Log video]] from 21 January 2009, where he hinted that he had uncovered "repressed memories." Chris later went into a bit more detail in [[Mumble 3]].

{{quote|Oh yes. [[Bruce Johnson|Doctor Johnson]] of Nathanael Greene Elementary. The principal. He was a h- he was uh, the homo... that pretty much set me against... the homos and further kept me on the straight path.|Chris, [[Mumble 3]].}}

In an IRC chat from around the same time, Chris had more to say about Principal Johnson, as well as his father's campaign against the school board that later ensued.

{{quote|Back in my Green County Days, The Principle of the Nathanel Greene Elemetary School, Dr. Johnson, was a Homo, and when I was sent to his office; he picked me up, set me on his lap, then I would always get off his lap, because I ALWAYS HATED that; I felt bad vibes back then. Fortunately, it has never gone beyond that, and my father caught his intentions on that, and the Court Battles Started. He likely exagerates, but my father knew that there were a bunch of homos within that school board, and that was why they hated me and my family, in addition to those people not understanding Autism. Anyway, from those past memories, that is why I have grown up to Rarely Associate with men, and why I DESPIE THE HOMOS the Worst.|Chris, on IRC, circa 21 January 2009.}}
[[File:Asperchu Principal Parody.JPG|thumb|left|After he told Alec in that phone call, it was parodied in [[Asperchu]]]]

Chris recounted another version of the story in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], when Alec claimed that homosexuals had never done him any harm.

{{quote|I was abused by one! A homosexual principal at my elementary school, slapped me on his lap, said some offensive, said some offensive things to me, and I felt uncomfortable, so I jumped off his lap and hid under his desk.|Chris, setting himself up for another parody.}}

When Alec pressed him to explain what those "offensive things" were, Chris couldn't recall any details. Bear in mind that Chris considers anything offensive if it's something he doesn't want to hear, so Bruce was probably just telling Chris to study harder or behave better or something similar.

Given the fragmented nature of Chris's accounts, it's not clear whether he believes that the principal's-lap incident and the pinned-down-and-taped incident were directly connected. Certainly it's easy to imagine how they might be linked together: Chris goes to see the principal, he feels threatened, he becomes agitated, then more staff members have to be called in to deal with the problem. Another possibility is that he threw a hissy fit over [[Song of Christian|getting an F on an assignment]] and the situation got out of hand. However, a more complete and reliable version of the story (or stories) has yet to be discovered.

Chris's beliefs that he was molested and that there was a conspiracy to have him institutionalized is most likely inspired by Bob, who has delusions of things like unidentified possible [[homos]]exuals, [[Megan Schroeder]], and [[Michael Snyder]] [[Matthew Noble call|all being in collusion to get Chris kicked out of]] [[the GAMe PLACe]]. Bob's attribution of that incident to an imaginary cabal instead of Chris's behavior also shows a similar pattern of accountability on behalf of the Chandlers.

==Missing details==
Obviously, there are several oddities and inconsistencies in Chris's stories. This may be a deliberate attempt to cover up the truth, or simply the result of Chris unconsciously conflating and exaggerating his garbled memories of the event.

*Chris has never clearly explained what triggered these incidents. According to all of his accounts, the school faculty either assaulted him without provocation or for lustful or sadistic reasons.
*Public schools are required to have faculty experienced with special education, so it's doubtful that Chris was surrounded entirely by people who didn't understand his condition.
*As a rule, elementary school principals aren't supposed to let kids sit on their lap for the exact reason Chris was afraid of: it's inappropriate behavior. It's quite likely, however, that Johnson was just trying to comfort Chris and forgot the rule.
*On top of that, the odds that an openly gay man would be employed as an educator in the conservative South in the early 1990s are slim to none.

Furthermore, this assumes that Chris's claims of abuse by his principal aren't entirely fabricated to begin with. For starters, his line about "repressed memories" is fishy, and the revelation becomes even more suspect in light of its timing.

Chris first mentioned his recollection of the incident in a video recorded right after his [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]], where [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] accused him of being a closeted homosexual and mocked his irrationally aggressive homophobia. It's quite possible that Chris invented the story about being abused as an excuse to defend his homophobia and a means of further proving his straightness — since he was abused by a gay man, goes Chris's unique version of logic, that means he can't be one himself, and likewise that incident of abuse justifies his irrational hatred of gay people in general.

As for the more thoroughly-documented incident where Chris supposedly had to be subdued and tape-recorded, it's most likely that Chris's autistic behavior was difficult for the school's staff to control, and the district sought evidence to prove that Chris needed to be moved out of mainstream schools. Evidence like this could also be used as evidence of parental neglect or incompetence in choosing to avoid the obvious care a child with mental disabilities needs.

==The "institution"==
A critical gap in the story concerns exactly where Chris would have gone if he had been removed from the mainstream school system, as the Nathanael Greene staff proposed. As mentioned above, the psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|psychiatric survey]] in [[2004]] described it as a "special school," but Chris generally refers to it using harsher terms like "institution" or "mental institution," as in the [[Father_Call#Experience_and_respect|Father Call]] and his [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris_got_his_degree_for_Cwcville|e-mails with Jackie]], presumably because his parents have referred to it in such a manner.

One clue appears in the [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_Lies_About_The_Game_Place|Jackie communications]], where Chris calls it "that Winchester Mental Institution." [[:wikipedia:Winchester, Virginia|Winchester]] is a small city in the Shenandoah Valley area of northwestern Virginia, and it's home to the [http://www.grafton.org Grafton School], a well-established school and group home that specializes in, among other things, the education and treatment of young people with autism. Some observers speculate that this may be where Chris would have been sent had his parents not insisted on mainstreaming him.

The reasons why his parents were so adamant to keep him in a "normal" or "mainstream" educational environment aren't hard to guess. Not surprisingly, most of these objections are self-centered and are really about the parents' own feelings, not their child's needs. Like many parents whose children have special needs:

* They may have felt that Chris's need for "special care" would reflect poorly on them as parents.
* They may have assumed that Chris and/or his family would be stigmatized by being put in a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris would be limited in future opportunities by being put in a special school.
* They may have feared that a greater financial burden would be imposed upon them if Chris was moved to a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris's problem "wasn't a big deal," while educators who spent most of the day with him saw the reality of the situation.
* They, by Chris's own admission, thought that the school was going to lock Chris up in a padded cell for the rest of his life with no chances to make friends ever.

==The aftermath==
After pulling Chris out of Nathanael Greene, [[Bob Chandler]] unsuccessfully took legal action against the school district. His case was eventually dropped in 1994. In 1992, Chris's family moved him away to the Richmond suburbs in order to keep him in mainstream classrooms, a crucial step in the development of the Chris we know and love today.

In subsequent years, Chris has taken the notion (which supposedly originated with his father) of an autism-hating homosexual conspiracy to drive him from the school system and inflated it into something even more unlikely. In a [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] he imagines that they are also responsible for forcing him to move away from his high-school friends in Richmond and getting him kicked out of [[The GAMe PLACe]].

The decision to mainstream Chris at all costs is perhaps the most significant turning point in his development. Had he received an education more effectively tailored to his needs and learned more about his condition beyond how to use it as an excuse, he might have become a substantially more well-adjusted adult. Unfortunately, we will never know.

To this day, all of the residents of [[14 Branchland Court]] consider it the wisest decision they have ever made.

==The Facebook Review==
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris posts a 1-star review on an unofficial [[Facebook]] page of the elementary school, showing that he ''still'' hates the elementary school to this day:

{{quote|The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]|[[Christian Weston Chandler]] as he continues to look into his past.}}

==See also==
*[[Bruce Johnson]]
*[[Greene County Conspiracy]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://greenecounty.va.schoolwebpages.com/education/school/school.php?sectiondetailid=22 School website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Obesity

2015-01-29T14:44:59Z

Blonichu:

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|Look at his "slender" figure.]]]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|The Atkins Diet apparently didn't work on [[Barb]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}
{{Quote|I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>}}

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[USA]], with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fat: [[Chris]], [[Barbara]], and even [[Chandler Cats|their]] [[Clover and Snoopy|pets]].

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Furthermore, in his numerous dating profiles discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary[sic] gained weight, became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But [[Chris and reality|that's]] a whole other problem.

Further cementing his obesity, on [[October 2011|October 2nd, 2011]], Chris's voluptuous manboobs won an award on [http://www.manboobs.co.uk/submissions/manboob_of_the_month manboobs.co.uk].

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]

Chris believes that standing up without moving is a legitimate form of exercise, and as such considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays [[video games]]. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — his idea of jogging is actually sprinting. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos featuring his midsection from subsequent months, he either lied or wasted his money.

== Diet ==
Another contribution to Chris' obesity is the food he eats. Chris' [[McDonald's|diet]] is appalling, consisting mainly of fast food and other unhealthy stuff. While it would be acceptable if he treated himself to that stuff occasionally, there's no question that it's a staple of his diet. The sheer amount of calories he consumes, coupled with his laziness, means that he's carrying around enough extra mass to make another person. His diet will most likely also cause problems other than obesity.

== Actual weight claims ==

* 20 July 2005 - In a [[Diary]] entry, Chris reported that his weight was '''180 pounds''' (about 80 kg).<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]]</ref> He claims to be 5'10" (1.78 m),<ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref> meaning that during that time his BMI was 25.8, which is overweight. This of course presumes he was telling the truth about his weight, which is [[List of Chris's lies|extremely unlikely]]. His purported height seems less far-fetched, but if he was lying about that too then his BMI would be even higher.

* Fall 2009 - Chris told Kacey that his weight was somewhere between '''215 and 220 pounds''' (98-100 kg).<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

* Fall 2009 - In a later conversation with Kacey, Chris said that at a recent doctor's visit he had weighed in at '''205 pounds''' (93 kg), down from 216 the last time he had been there.<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref>

* February 2010 - Chris claimed to weigh "'''about 200 [pounds]'''" (91 kg), and also admitted to having once weighed more than 220 pounds (100 kg). Even if we interpret the words "about 200" to mean 190, his BMI at the time would still be 27.3 i.e overweight, nearing obesity. He also claimed at this time that his goal was to get down to 180 pounds (82 kg).<ref>[[Mailbag 54#Fatty]]</ref>

* October 2010 - In the [[WeighIn|WeighIn video]], Chris claimed to weigh '''216 pounds''' (97 kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his apparent girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he did not fully stand on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity had caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point that he looked like he weighed more than 250 pounds, when actually he was just 216 pounds of pure fat. Even if we assume that he indeed weighed only 216 lbs at the time, this would still put his BMI at 31, making him obese.

* April 2012 - Chris announced on Facebook that he was "going down to '''223''' <nowiki>[101 kg]</nowiki> and falling."<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts]]</ref>

* July 2013 - Chris again posted to Facebook that he was "down to '''220'''" (~100 kg).<ref>[[July 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* October 2013 - Just three months later, Chris told Facebook that according to his doctor's visit he weighed '''211 pounds''' (96 kg), and had lost seven pounds since last he checked.<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* January 2014 - Chris asserted on Facebook that he weighed "'''about 202 pounds'''" (91 kg). While many would be quick to dismiss this solely on the basis that he eats at McDonald's regularly, at least one report shows that it can't be the sole factor, due to [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2533353/Forget-Super-Size-Me-Man-loses-37lbs-lowers-cholesterol-eating-McDonalds-three-months.html one individual actually ''losing weight'' on a pure McDonald's diet]. However, given the sheer deluge of fast/processed food Chris eats from other places, the non-existence of an exercise regimen, and the simple fact that his face is a lot fatter compared to previous photographs of him, this claim that he weighs 202 pounds is ''very'' dubious.<ref>[[January 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* October 2014 - Chris defensively told his friend Shaina that he weighed "'''around 200''' <nowiki>[91 kg]</nowiki>, give or take two or three."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref>

== Health ==
''Main article: [[Chris and health]]''

Obviously, all this has an adverse effect on Chris' health. Morbidly obese people are far more likely to develop diabetes, heart disease, and a number of other ailments. While it is admittedly possible to be fat '''and''' fit, Chris' lifestyle, combined with ample evidence of his lack of physical prowess, means that this does not apply to him.

== Denial ==
{{Quote|He's fat! Iiiiii'm thin!|Chris breaking out into chorus on [[Alec Benson Leary]]<ref>[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal]]</ref>}}
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has generally been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't overweight.<ref>[[White knight E-mails#September 2008 .E2.80.94 Chris denies being fat and sexist]]</ref> In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[homos|gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]],<ref>[[Masturbating_and_squirtin%27#Transcript of Chrisreply1evan.jpg|1st email to Evan]]</ref> during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks. However, this is unlikely as Chris has never "spent hours studying" anything.<ref> [[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|''Sonichu'' #7]] - "…I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like…"</ref>

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[Muscle bra|Manboobs]]
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

South Park

2015-01-23T01:54:01Z

Blonichu:

[[File:ChrisChanSP.png|800px|center]]
{{Quote|Hey, [[Vivian]]. I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" Parody; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY! You ought to know I like "South Park", especially the [[Stress|less dramatic]], [[Random-access humor|more comical]] episodes. ROFL|Chris<ref>[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube]]</ref>}}
[[Image:CADD_Chef.jpg|thumb|"Grade-F destruction"? Really?]]

'''''South Park''''' is a popular animated comedy program airing on Comedy Central since 1997. [[Chris]] is an avowed fan of the series. His collection of [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network video downloads]] and [[Netflix]] downloads include dozens of ''South Park'' episodes, and he's swiped both its content and style on more than one occasion in his comics.

==South Park in ''Sonichu''==

===Beel===

{{main|Beel}}

Beel is the receptionist at the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. His appearance seems to be somewhat based on the [[Wikipedia:List of supporting characters on South Park#Satan|Satan]] character on ''South Park'', with the exception of his lack of facial hair and cloven hooves as featured on Satan. The Satan character on the show is a [[homos|homo]], and was engaged in love affairs with [[Wikipedia:List of supporting characters on South Park#Saddam Hussein|Saddam Hussein]] and other male characters. In Sonichu 10, Beel uses the line "where I was going to go, Detroit?"<ref>''[[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]'', [[:File:SchuComic10P32.jpg|p. 32]].</ref> As Chris himself has confirmed, this is a plagiarism from a [[Wikipedia:Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?|South Park episode]].<ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref>

===CADD Chef===
{{main|CADD Chef}}
CADD Chef is a minor villain. One can easily tell that this character (although based on Kene Meniru, one of Chris's teachers at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]) is a blatant ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Isaac Hayes|Isaac Hayes]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Chef (South Park)|Chef]]" character from ''South Park'', not just in appearance but also in one of his quotes.

===[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]]===

The title of Chris's gallery of hideous Rule 34 is copied from the title of the [[video game]] ''[[Wikipedia:South Park: Chef's Luv Shack|South Park: Chef's Luv Shack]]''.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===

[[Wikipedia:Stan Marsh|Stan]], [[Ruckersville, VA|Kenny]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Cartman]], [[Niggos|Token]] and [[Sweetheart|Wendy]] make cameo appearances in the "Dating Education" episode.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville//SchuComic10P7.jpg Sonichu 9]</ref>

==Chris fails to grasp ''South Park''==

After the release of Chris's audio recording of his [[April 2010]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|confrontation with Michael Snyder]], [[Vivian Gee]] used that audio to compose a parody video, setting the recording to a ''South Park''-style animation that featured Chris in the role of a bigoted Cartman-esque character.

Chris commented on the video's [[YouTube]] page, having fundamentally missed the point: "I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" Parody; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY!"

It appears that Chris doesn't understand the show's presentation of characters like Cartman. While Cartman (and to a lesser extent his friends, when they're in their more sociopathic modes) is meant to come across as a selfish little snot devoid of any redeeming qualities, Chris apparently views him as some kind of role model or example of appropriately entertaining behavior, hence his obvious pleasure at the comparison Vivian's video created. Further evidence of Chris having a positive view of Cartman appears in [[Mailbag_35#In_which_Chris_tells_us_that_we_need_to_go_look_up_what_he_stole_from|Mailbag 35]], where Chris seems to see Cartman as a good Christian looking to save the souls of rest of the children on the show.<ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref>

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be Liquid in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons." This comes from another episode of South Park called "Best Friends Forever", where, after a satire of the Terri Schiavo controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his PSP. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. It should be noted that although Chris undoubtedly believes South Park is anti gay, the show itself actually preached tolerance towards homosexuals in the episode "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride", which was only the fourth episode of the show's run and introduced the recurring character Big Gay Al, who has been portrayed positively in each of his appearances. In addition, the show openly supported gay marriage in the 2005 episode "Follow That Egg". Show creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are members of the Libertarian Party, which is known for their support of gay marriage, and would probably be none too pleased with Chris's interpretation of the show's stance on homosexuality.

Chris believes that every fictional character in existence, including his own, inhabits some alternate plane of reality where they can interact with one another. This belief may have partially stemmed from the episode "Imaginationland", which depicted such a locale.

==Other mentions==
*Chris left [[IRC (16 October 2008)]] because "[[Wikipedia:Breast Cancer Show Ever|Breast Cancer Show Ever]]" was coming on. He used a quote from this episode ("I am going to shove your ass down your throat and make you eat your underwear!") in [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|his threat to]] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]].
*During a chat, [[PandaHalo|Panda]] suggested to Chris to put a butt plug inside his ass in order to prevent himself from releasing flatulence. Chris declined, saying that "constriction of the gas-release can result in spontaneous combustion",<ref name=IRC27Dec2008 /> a belief he most likely picked from the ''South Park'' episode [[Wikipedia:Spontaneous Combustion (South Park)|''Spontaneous Combustion'']].
*Chris bought [[Wikipedia:South Park: Chef's Luv Shack|''South Park: Chef's Luv Shack'']] and the "When Technology Attacks!" [[PSP|UMD]].<ref>[[List of Chris's games]]</ref>
*Chris liked the [[Wikipedia:Make Love, Not Warcraft|''World of Warcraft'']]<ref name=IRC27Dec2008>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> and [[Wikipedia:Guitar Queer-O|''Guitar Hero'']]<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> episodes.
*Chris imitated [[Wikipedia:List_of_other_South_Park_residents#Towelie|Towelie]] and criticized [[Wikipedia:Kenny McCormick|Kenny]] in [[CWCFlyingElephants]].
*Chris told [[Clyde]] and [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]], "You both want me to even Beg, you can go point at your own damn snouts and Oink like Eric Cartman, and then Rape yourselves with your own Damn [[Star Wars|Darth Maul Dual LightSabre]]."<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref>; Cartman's oinking is in reference to "[[Wikipedia:Scott Tenorman Must Die|Scott Tenorman Must Die]]".
*''Scott Tenorman Must Die'' was also referenced by Chris while talking to [[BlueSpike]]. BlueSpike (posing as Max) wanted to Chris to burn down his house. Chris did not want to that, so he began to sing "I'm a Little Piggy", hoping that this would satisfy BlueSpike.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself#Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)]]</ref> In the aforementioned South Park episode, Scott makes Cartman sing the the same song for his own amusement.
*Chris referred to Randy Marsh's "naggers" controversy ("[[Wikipedia:With Apologies to Jesse Jackson|With Apologies to Jesse Jackson]]").<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 10]]</ref>
*He created a ''[[Guitar Hero]] South Park'' [[Quizzes|quiz]].
*He used Cartman's catchphrase "You’re breaking my balls here" in [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]].
*He got Panda a musical card where Cartman/Jennifer Lopez sing the "Taco Flavored Kisses" song from "[[Wikipedia:Fat Butt and Pancake Head|Fat Butt and Pancake Head]]."<ref>[[Clyde E-mails]]</ref>
*On 30 [[October 2013]], Chris wrote that one of the reasons he doesn't commit suicide is because "premature death leaves one in Limbo".<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts# Reality Comes Knocking]]</ref> This belief does not cohere with the protestant theology of his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Church]], according to which salvation is achieved by faith alone. However, it is in line with the South Park episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is revealed that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.
*In [[Chris Calls Clyde Out]], Chris mocks Clyde by impersonating him as [[Wikipedia:Tuong Lu Kim|Tuong Lu Kim]], a South Park character.

==See also==
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
*''[[Family Guy]]''
*[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]
*[[Getting Foam Ed‎]]
*[[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW]]
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[Quizzes#Guitar_Hero_South_Park|''Guitar Hero South Park'' MyBUZZ! quiz]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Chris and reality

2015-01-22T13:26:57Z

Blonichu:

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]
{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s understandable response to the above}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached, more than likely because he rarely leaves [[Chris's Room|his room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to [[Chris and brand loyalty|commercials]] and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

Another probable cause of his detachment from reality is the behavior of [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barbara Chandler|parents]], who are (or were, in Bob's case) themselves not securely anchored to reality. Their habit of feeding Chris conciliatory platitudes about how he was being mistreated out of jealousy and about special rules applying to him has resulted in Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|all-pervasive sense of entitlement]] and warped perception of anybody or anything that antagonises him.

Chris is quick to deny indisputable notions, or outright facts, and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own [[slow-in-the-minds|stupidity]] or [[Chris and negotiation|stubbornness]], flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris}}
{{quote|NO!|[[Alec Benson Leary]]}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville and all other products of his imagination actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. This strange idea may also have stemmed from the [[South Park]] episode "Imaginationland", which involved a realm where fictional characters and imaginary creations could mingle with one another. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this worldview is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others he sees as too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. He most likely defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something - if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, providing yet further evidence that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way [[Chris and religion|a Christian might consider God to be his or her father]]. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events, both major and minor, such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment throwaway plot elements]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris made a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that, in Chris's head, this has already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canon if he's the one doing it (regardless of contradictions) and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite considering his own judgement infallible as applied to his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to theirs.

==In the Real World==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris pro tip: most cars weigh two or three tons<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}
Chris has a tendency to hugely exaggerate estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight E-mails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] in his favor, as evidenced in his description of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade as being 50 lbs]]. This behavior is symptomatic of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of [[autism]], which leaves the sufferer with poor comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. However, Chris does not really display any other symptoms of it, suggesting this behavior isn't mere ignorance, but rather Chris telling childish lies to try to impress people with his physical strength.

Chris automatically assumes his lies will be believed, even if they contradict existing information. This is copiously evidenced in his constant [[List of Chris's Lies|lies]] during the [[Father Call]], wherein Chris fibs incessantly about his [[health]] (among other things), frequently denying things or changing his story whenever he gets caught out. His habit of lying and lying about his lies is likely inherited from his mother, whom [[Cole Smithey E-mails|his brother described]] as a pathological liar. When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and, thus, effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> The fact that he [[Things Chris has ripped off|demonstrably could not have done this]] did not factor into his reasoning. Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying that Simonla had ever been inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this revised version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger syndrome]] to be "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref> As with many other things which antagonise him, Chris simply assumes Aspergers to be significant of a conspiracy targeting himself.

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as highly delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. For example, on the 28th of April, 2012, he made an empty threat to the CWCki forum about hunting down each of its members; he claimed to know where each of them lives in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one were to gloss over the fact that he wouldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, and indeed the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing them harm. All things considered, Chris ended up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

===Fictional Characters and the Media===

As explained above, Chris believes that fictional characters (including his own) exist on some other plane of reality. During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he claimed "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary. He concluded the lecture with a [[Curse ye ha me ha]], as of course he believes he has magic powers. These things explain why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris, usually before [[stress|crashing into slumber]], also pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals' destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]," which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[Parody|parodying]] Republicans.

As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behavior. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons." In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|right|The "vaccine" in question.]]

===Science and Technology===

Chris's understanding of the sciences as a part of reality (in this case, medicine and physics), is tenuous at best. Having graduated from both [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]], it's rather disturbing to note that Chris has retained little to nothing from either one, aside from the [[Gal-pals|overly-attached nostalgia]] and [[Greene County Conspiracy|paranoid delusions]]. To note an example, in [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]], Chris created a '[[Homo|gay]]-vaccine' made from his own blood, as to "cure" gay and asexual people world-wide. Aside from being a clear violation of even the most basic human rights, it's also an extremely [[Naive|ignorant]] understanding of medicinal science. An amusing irony is that vaccines use a small sample of the original disease and reintroduce it to the body, as to buff the immune system's response to said disease. In this case, Chris is using his 'straight blood' as the vaccination sample, implying that in fact, Chris is reintroducing the 'homo disease' back into the patient. The delivery method is also completely unscientific. For a vaccine to be used in fresh water sources is incredibly off-base; a vaccine administered this way would not be effective at all. This is, of course, without addressing the fact that being gay isn't a disease and therefore doesn't need a treatment or a cure. On another medical note, Chris believes he was "infected" with autism by his doctor,<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> as if such a thing were even possible.

Another example of Chris' extremely feeble grasp of the sciences is the time travel sequence in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], in which Chris tried to explain his sci-fi pseudo-science. To be fair, time travel is a very general pseudo-science, used in almost any medium of entertainment; in this case, Chris, [[Sonichu]], and [[Magi-Chan]] traveled back in time using Magi-Chan's psychic powers, in order to retrieve one of the [[Chaotic Crystals]]. During said time travel sequence, Chris had a rather lengthy conversation with Sonichu over the topic, using [[Futurama|a sci-fi cartoon]] as a justification as to why it would be 'possible'. In reality, this is a concept just as real as space aliens from Mars or evil robots from the future. If Chris had an even basic understanding of time, space, and the theory of relativity (which are all covered in the public school system), he might have withdrawn these comments trying to rationalize a comic book about [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|magic humanoid hedgehogs]] and [[CWCville|imaginary cities]].

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he suggests that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects users of this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'').

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an instrument of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune upon the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse ([[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]]) on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic du jour — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]]. How these items came to be imbued with magic properties has not been addressed.

Chris also appears to believe that he can, to an extent, [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]]. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon. He may have gotten the notion of hearing supernatural voices from psychics (in real life or more likely in the media), who claim to converse with the spirits of the dead. During his time masquerading as [[JenkinsJinkies]] on [[Trollin Train]], Chris hoped to dissuade trolls by claiming that his house was haunted, describing [[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_the_Equipment_and_the_Digging_.28Thu_26_Aug_2010_5:12_AM.29|an alleged encounter]] with the vengeful ghosts of Patti and [[Christopher's name change|his younger self]]. Chris apparently believed that trolls would heed this threat.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied they were evidenced by Mary Lee Walsh's reputation going "DOWN":
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defence mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Among the many issues faced by Chris in his perception of reality, his tendency towards conspiracy theorism is the one that has caused him the most trouble. Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his huge, cloying ego, and as such believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake, something to which neither he nor his parents take kindly.

As stated, Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things; most importantly, it illustrated that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]]. Considering how readily and fervently these beliefs were held by his parents, it is sadly little wonder that Chris thinks the same way.

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, he revealed that he shares his parents' insane beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place. Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going as far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling evidence of Chris's belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[White knight|White Knights]]. Despite their attempts to offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] respectfully point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. However, as is the rule with Chris, these people were not telling him what he wanted to hear and were thusly ignored.

==Descent into Madness==
As time has gone on, it has become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris's already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to slacken further and further - getting to the point that it has alienated [[White knight|many of his closest supporters]].

Particularly troubling are his [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|October 2013 rants]] on [[Facebook]] about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] fictitious character [[Megagi La Skunk]] has talked to him and told him that she (Megan, but by extension Megagi) should never have been born. Chris claimed that Megan is at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|uncursed]], closing by stating that he and [[Bob Chandler|his father's ghost]] will get revenge if she does not comply.

There are many things deeply concerning about this tirade, but the most troubling is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]], nor any reason to suspect Megan would behave this way. This paranoid, insane notion was contrived entirely by Chris - likely with some parental input - and can only be described as complete lunacy.

In the autumn of [[2014]], Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing to his perineum]] in an attempt at [[China|vaginal]] resemblance. Unfortunately for Chris, the piercing became infected as of [[December 2014|December]]. Unfazed, he simply had it pierced again. While Chris was persuaded to have this piercing removed too, he remained deeply interested in becoming a woman by unorthodox means, much to the worry of [[CWCki|onlookers]]. Eventually though, he finally had it removed completely.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Template:The Internet

2015-01-21T22:57:59Z

Blonichu:

{{Navbox
|title = [[Chris and the Internet|The Internet]]
|name = The Internet

|group1 = Chris's websites
|list1 = [[CWC's Pokésite 1]]{{•}} [[CWC's Pokésite 2]]{{•}} [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]{{•}} [[CWC's Cool Profile]]{{•}} [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]{{•}} [[CWCipedia]]

|group2 = Social networking
|list2 = [[Adult Swim posts]]{{•}} [[PSN blogs]]{{•}} [[Facebook]]{{•}} [[Twitter]]{{•}} [[MySpace]]{{•}} [[Dating profiles]]{{•}} [[Match.com]]{{•}} [[PlayStation blog]]{{•}} [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]{{•}} [[OkCupid]] ([[List of OkCupid Answers|Answers]])

|group3 = Wikis
|list3 = [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] ([[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|edits]]){{•}} [[Wikipedia]] ([[Chris's Wikipedia profile|profile]]{{•}} [[User:Apostrophe/Chris-Chan talk|talk page]]){{•}} [[CWCipedia]] ([[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|WikiSysop correspondence]]){{•}} [[CWCki]] ([[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|edits]]{{•}} [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]]{{•}} [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]]{{•}} [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]]

|group4 = Forums
|list4 = [[Sonichu Forum]]{{•}} [[Sonichu Girls]]{{•}} [[Trollin Train]]{{•}} [[GameFAQs]]{{•}} [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]{{•}} [[CWCki Forums]]

|group5 = Documented IRL encounters
|list5 = "[[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]]"{{•}} [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]{{•}} [[Chris's resume]]

|group6 = Other
|list6 = [[eBay]]{{•}} [[Craigslist]]{{•}} [[Quizzes]]{{•}} [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]]{{•}} [[deviantART]]{{•}} [[Kickstarter]]{{•}} [[ReBrick‎]]{{•}} [[YouTube]] ([[List of Christian's comments on YouTube|comments]]){{•}} [[2013 Imgur Leak|Imgur]]{{•}} [[Other documents]]
}}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's presence on the [[Internet]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

14 Branchland Court

2015-01-12T20:26:13Z

Blonichu:

[[File:14bc1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2012.]]
[[Image:Chandlerhousegooglemaps.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
{{quote|No burglar would ever want anything in this house.|Chris, being surprisingly ([[Manchester High Leaks|almost]]) modest.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#No burglar would steal Chris's stuff|Mailbag 44]]</ref>}}

'''14 Branchland Court''', [[Ruckersville, VA]] is the lair of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]], [[Christopher's name change|Christopher's ghost]], [[Clover and Snoopy]] and the surviving [[Chandler cats]]. It was a white (now faded to ivory) two-story house trimmed in pink (faded from a dark red) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of Ruckersville. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house is just past the local trailer park, and nestled in a lower middle class suburban community. Built in [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], and with no major work done since [[1986]]<ref>[[:File:14BranchlandCourt.png]]</ref>, the house shows its age with its tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding. As a result of its dated look, in addition to the decaying gardens and overgrown yard, it has done a number on local property values.

As of [[March 2009]], all space not used for walking or sleeping appeared to be packed full of junk. However, in earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday [2002], for instance), the house seemed reasonably tidy. In his [[Tour of Christian's House|video tour]], Chris also keeps referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has grown fuller and fuller in the past decade. "Clutter" is, of course, a horrible understatement. The house is packed with crap. Its former living room is unusable, with junk filling the entire space and reaching within two feet of the ceiling. Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid blocks of shit, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] revealed that Chris's parents were aware of the house's condition (what with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and fear that [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's video tours]] may elicit the attention of the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. Trolls made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to simple maintenance, like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts appear to be just enough to keep him from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis. His mother has threatened to kick him out of the house if he tries to throw away her worthless junk.<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a computer, but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Apparently, Bob was too lazy or unwilling to provoke a fight, as he just stopped using the computer.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

In [[Rocky Shoemaker call|a phone call]] to [[Rocky Shoemaker]], it was revealed that 14 Branchland Court was infested, and that the parasitic infestation caused [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] to be "covered in bug bites" before his death from heart disease.

On 10 January 2014, Chris reported that the house had sustained major structural damage from an [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|early-morning house fire]] following an electrical shortage. Chris, Barb, the dogs, Lucy, and other possessions made it out safely, but the state of the house and the family's possessions is (as of 11 January) considered unknown.

On December 6, 2014, Chris had announced on Facebook that 14 Branchland Court had been renovated and that he and his mother would be moving back in. Although Chris was temporarily detained in jail after his misadventure on [[26 December 2014]], he was later released on bail and moved back into his house in January 2015.

==History==
Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from his birth (24 February [[1982]]) until his family moved him to the Richmond area, some distance away, in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. After the move, which took place in fall [[1992]], Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in [[2000]] after Chris graduated [[high school]]. In [[100 2178|a video]] released in [[May 2010]], Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. (He attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system; but, as this article will explain, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.)

==The Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|right|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.]]
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain".|Chris to [[Julie]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}
In two videos uploaded on 27 [[March 2009]], Chris provided a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so full of junk that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court.

===First floor===
[[File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|250px|Bob in the family room.]]
In the north corner is what Christian describes as "the [[music]] room", which is primarily the domain of [[Barbara Chandler]], who frequently sleeps there. A small bathroom is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the utility room, in which the family keeps a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The family room (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by the late [[Bob Chandler]], who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, they have yet to be filmed.

===Second floor===
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|[[Barbara]] moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in April [[2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

[[Chris's room]] is in the north corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the east corner, is a filthy bathroom, which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown/green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The kitchen and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris uses for Internet access seems to be in this part of the house, as is a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] over a webcam feed. This implies that Snorlax (and Bob, when he was still with us) never actually leave the areas in which they sleep and spend their days there, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wants]] undisturbed. The living room, packed with boxes and shit, is across the stairway from Chris's room.
{{clear}}

===Yard===
The Chandlers' yard consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. The plants in the planters have long since [[Chris and death|died]]. The backyard contains a shed and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where [[Bob]] would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where [[Patti]] once played. Her [[Father Call|5-10 ton doghouse]] still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being lazy, Chris cannot summon the strength to pick the damn thing up.

However, in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start his [[Love Quest]]), we can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and healthy trees. Many people speculate that over the years, Chris's parents have gotten too old or too lazy to care for their garden, leaving the area neglected.

As of [[February 2012]], the yard has been completely obscured by trash, junked cars, and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|God knows what else]]. From the street one could barely stand the smell and only the bravest of Ruckersville's citizens dare to venture past.

In 2013, a troll passing Chris's house in his car uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwZKGe4BOSE a video], showing the front yard almost completely covered by an overgrown lawn, in addition to the above.

==The Tour II: Electric Hedgehog Boogaloo==

In 2013, a [[Tour_of_Chris's_House_II|video was leaked]] by [[Alec Benson Leary]] showing the state of Chris' home since the last tour he gave in 2009. Needless to say ''(especially in light of eyewitness reports of his front yard in 2012)'', the house has become even ''more'' of a mess since then. Whereas Chris had at least ''some'' room to maneuver in the 2009 Tour Video, here, the passageways have become so narrow and jam-packed that even he complains about all of the clutter being in his way. The kitchen, in particular, has become an unsightly mess- the Chandlers apparently couldn't be half-assed to put away their groceries, so it's strewn all over the place. The living room, already an ocean of rubbish, has gotten worse, with the accumulated clutter now towering over Chris to the point where he has to stretch to get footage of it. The bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the [[ShowerClean|last video Chris released of him cleaning it]] - and he even admits so himself in the video.

Even the stairs of his home have become cluttered with nonsense such as Christmas ornaments, boxes and bags, which could spell disaster if Chris or [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] have to evacuate the premises. Also notable is the fact that every so often, Chris can be observed picking up random pieces of garbage from the floor as well.

In [[Chris and his Ego|typical Chris-Chan fashion]], he describes his room as "the cleanest of the whole house", despite it having unsightly masses of clothes everywhere and even an unmade bed that he couldn't be bothered to at least straighten up before making this ill-advised video.

When he steps outside, he basically confirms what trolls have documented as early as 2012: that his lawn is ''completely'' overgrown to the point where it has utterly consumed one of the structures in his yard. Also unsurprising is the fact that after Bob's death, the garden shed has been completely abandoned.

Given his commentary, it ''almost'' seemed like Chris acknowledges that he has kept his home in a very unacceptable condition....right until he blames [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barbara Chandler|parents]] for being "hoarders" and [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|totally shifting blame away from himself]], ''despite'' being the "man" of the house.

By this time, the bug infestation appears to have been gotten rid of, or at least contained. It was stated before that the infestation was so bad that Chris was confined to his room in order to avoid getting bitten, but in this video, no bugs are seen and Chris makes no mention of them.

==Destruction of the Chandler Household==

[[Image:14 Branchland Court on Fire - Copy.jpg|thumb|right|Witness image of 14 Branchland Court on fire. On Facebook, Chris blamed Keurig for causing the fire, but later let slip in an email that it was plugged into a "heavy-duty" extension cord in the basement bathroom.]]

On January 10th, 2014, a [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|fire broke out]] at the Chandler household. According to Chris, this was caused by the faulty wiring of a coffee machine, which sparked and started the blaze. Reportedly, Chris, his mother, the beagles and Lucy (one of the cats) made it out safely ''(surprising when you consider how much clutter was obstructing the stairways as seen in the second Tour video)'', but it is unknown as to what the status of the remaining pets are.

From what Chris has written so far, it can be assumed that the Chandlers escaped with little more than the clothes on their backs. Chris wrote that he was able to save his wallet, medication for his mother, as well as some clothes and shoes, as well as his iPhone. Since the fire, Chris has also been observed on Miiverse, suggesting that he also managed to save his 3DS at some point. As for everything else, it can be assumed that they were either lost in the blaze, or suffered water damage in the efforts to douse it or because the damaged roof left them exposed to rain. A [[:File:Chrischansroom15xt7.jpg|map of Chris's room]] indicates that it was in the northern corner of the house (front left as seen from the street), near where the flames rise through the roof in the above photo.

For the time being, Chris and his mother are staying at a [[Rental House|rental house]], pending repairs to 14 Branchland Court.

As completely tragic as this incident is, it did not come as a surprise to some people that something like this would have happened, either due to Barbara's constant hoarding or Chris' unwillingness to properly clean his house and ensure that any excess of clutter would have been removed so that they wouldn't add fuel to the fire. As pointed out by quite a few concerned people, the house was ''always'' a health and safety hazard ''(ever since Chris released the first Tour of his house, at the very least)'', and it was only a matter of time before disaster struck. Sadly, as always, Chris disregarded this very well-meaning advice, and, as a result, reaped what he and his family had sown.

One thing that must be taken into account in the wake of the Chandler Household's destruction is one that Chris's father pointed out before. It's a known fact that the worst hoarders have to keep their hoards hidden from friends and neighbors. The damage means that now the entire neighborhood, [[Misc E-mails#Greedy Firefighter|firemen]], and now the men and women contracted to repair the house can see the full extent of the Chandler's collective hoarding. If Bob Chandler's remarks in the [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|THAT IS MY HOUSE]] video were accurate, then even if the house can be repaired, the house could deem to be unfit for habitation until the house is cleaned and brought up to code. There is also a matter of cleaning the house so that repair crews can actually get to everything, which the Chandlers would no doubt inhibit.

==Return of the Chandler Household==

On the 6th of December, 2014, Chris announced on [[Facebook]] that his home had finally been repaired, and he would be moving back in near the start of the [[2015|new year]]. While some are hopeful that Chris would learn from this experience, take better care of his home and not cause it to be the clusterfucked fire hazard it was last time, it ''really'' doesn't seem hopeful, [[Autism|given]] [[Barb|certain]] [[Chris_and_health#Living_conditions|factors]].

Ever a busy man, Chris managed to fit a [[26 December 2014|run-in with the law on Boxing Day, followed by two days in prison]] into his moving schedule. Once he was released on bond on 29 December, Chris was shortly back to complaining about having a "Charlie Horse [sic]" from moving his mother's hoard back to the house. Because, you know, that's his main concern, rather than his impending trial in February. Naturally, it doesn't seem to have crossed his mind that, being a repeat offender, he probably won't get to enjoy his renovated house for long.

==Mail==
{{quote|Hand-Written and Hand-Drawn Submissions are also accepted, ONLY addressed to: Christian Weston Chandler 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968. ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well.|Chris on contacting him, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia]|2=[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia copyright page]}}

If you would like to send a letter to Christian, or perhaps mail his mother some of the many [[nudes|NOODZ]] he has posted on the Internets in recent times, you can contact him at:

:''Christian Weston Chandler,''
:''14 Branchland Court,''
:''[[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]],'' [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545,''
:''[[United States of America]]''

'''NOTE:'''
:Based on previous experience with mail, it is likely that one of two things will happen to the letter should you choose to send it: 1.) It will be intercepted by Chris, who apparently takes his parents' (now that Bob kicked it, his mother's) mail on a regular basis, or 2.) Barbara will receive it, and dismiss it as old news (reports show that his parents have read some of the letters and ignored them).

==Visiting==
[[File:House-fail-bursting-at-the-seams.jpg|thumb|The possible current state of 14 Branchland Court.]]

When occupied by the Chandlers, visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and trades the deed for magic beans, are ill-advised. Bothering the Chandlers at their house is the paragon of [[ween]] behavior, and will probably result in a police visit. Chris and Barb shouldn't have to contend with the troll horde within the sanctum of their own home. '''Do not visit 14BC to troll Chris or Barb.'''

Unless, of course, you are personally invited. To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned whilst Chris hides, crying, behind his mother.

==Chris and his address==
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Possibly Chris didn't realize this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.

==Gallery==
On 7 [[September 2013]], some pictures of the house were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].
<center>
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</gallery>
</center>

On 3 [[March 2014]], the pictures of the house post-fire were leaked on the forums. On the 3rd and 4th shots, note the damage to the left half of the roof, matching the location of the shot of the actual fire.
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On 14 [[April 2014]], more pictures are leaked on the forums.

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==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]
* [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Tour of Chris's House II]]
* [[Destruction Of Chris's House]]
* [[Chris's homes]]
* [[Property tax assessment]] - Last appraisal of the house made by Greene County before the fire.

==References==
<references />
{{Places}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

Chris and reality

2015-01-10T20:56:44Z

Blonichu:

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]
{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s understandable response to the above}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached, more than likely because he rarely leaves [[Chris's Room|his room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to [[Chris and brand loyalty|commercials]] and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

Another probable cause of his detachment from reality is the behaviour of [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barbara Chandler|parents]], who are (or were, in Bob's case) themselves not securely anchored to reality. Their habit of feeding Chris conciliatory platitudes about how he was being mistreated out of jealousy and about special rules applying to him has resulted in Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|all-pervasive sense of entitlement]] and warped perception of anybody or anything that antagonises him.

Chris is quick to deny indisputable notions, or outright facts, and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own [[slow-in-the-minds|stupidity]] or [[Chris and negotiation|stubbornness]], flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris}}
{{quote|NO!|[[Alec Benson Leary]]}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville and all other products of his imagination actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this thinking is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others he sees as too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. He most likely defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something - if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, providing yet further evidence that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way [[Chris and religion|a Christian might consider God to be his or her father]]. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events, both major and minor, such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment throwaway plot elements]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris made a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that, in Chris's head, this has already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canon if he's the one doing it (regardless of contradictions) and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite considering his own judgement infallible as applied to his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to theirs.

==In the Real World==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris pro tip: most cars weigh two or three tons<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}
Chris has a tendency to hugely exaggerate estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight E-mails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] in his favor, as evidenced in his description of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade as being 50 lbs]]. This behaviour is symptomatic of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of [[autism]], which leaves the sufferer with poor comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. However, Chris does not really display any other symptoms of it, suggesting this behaviour isn't mere ignorance, but rather Chris telling childish lies to try to impress people with his physical strength.

Chris automatically assumes his lies will be believed, even if they contradict existing information. This is copiously evidenced in his constant [[List of Chris's Lies|lies]] during the [[Father Call]], wherein Chris fibs incessantly about his [[health]] (among other things), frequently denying things or changing his story whenever he gets caught out. His habit of lying and lying about his lies is likely inherited from his mother, whom [[Cole Smithey E-mails|his brother described]] as a pathological liar. When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and, thus, effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> The fact that he [[Things Chris has ripped off|demonstrably could not have done this]] did not factor into his reasoning. Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying that Simonla had ever been inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this revised version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger syndrome]] to be "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref> As with many other things which antagonise him, Chris simply assumes Aspergers to be significant of a conspiracy targeting himself.

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as highly delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. For example, on the 28th of April, 2012, he made an empty threat to the CWCki forum about hunting down each of its members; he claimed to know where each of them lives in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one were to gloss over the fact that he wouldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, and indeed the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing them harm. All things considered, Chris ended up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

===Fictional Characters and the Media===

As explained above, Chris believes that fictional characters (including his own) exist on some other plane of reality. During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he claimed "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary. He concluded the lecture with a [[Curse ye ha me ha]], as of course he believes he has magic powers. These things explain why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris, usually before [[stress|crashing into slumber]], also pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals' destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]," which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[Parody|parodying]] Republicans.

As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behaviour. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons." In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|right|The "vaccine" in question.]]

===Science and Technology===

Chris's understanding of the sciences as a part of reality (in this case, medicine and physics), is tenuous at best. Having graduated from both [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]], it's rather disturbing to note that Chris has retained little to nothing from either one, aside from the [[Gal-pals|overly-attached nostalgia]] and [[Greene County Conspiracy|paranoid delusions]]. To note an example, in [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]], Chris created a '[[Homo|gay]]-vaccine' made from his own blood, as to "cure" gay and asexual people world-wide. Aside from being a clear violation of even the most basic human rights, it's also an extremely [[Naive|ignorant]] understanding of medicinal science. An amusing irony is that vaccines use a small sample of the original disease and reintroduce it to the body, as to buff the immune system's response to said disease. In this case, Chris is using his 'straight blood' as the vaccination sample, implying that in fact, Chris is reintroducing the 'homo disease' back into the patient. The delivery method is also completely unscientific. For a vaccine to be used in fresh water sources is incredibly off-base; a vaccine administered this way would not be effective at all. This is, of course, without addressing the fact that being gay isn't a disease and therefore doesn't need a treatment or a cure. On another medical note, Chris believes he was "infected" with autism by his doctor,<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> as if such a thing were even possible.

Another example of Chris' extremely feeble grasp of the sciences is the time travel sequence in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], in which Chris tried to explain his sci-fi pseudo-science. To be fair, time travel is a very general pseudo-science, used in almost any medium of entertainment; in this case, Chris, [[Sonichu]], and [[Magi-Chan]] traveled back in time using Magi-Chan's psychic powers, in order to retrieve one of the [[Chaotic Crystals]]. During said time travel sequence, Chris had a rather lengthy conversation with Sonichu over the topic, using [[Futurama|a sci-fi cartoon]] as a justification as to why it would be 'possible'. In reality, this is a concept just as real as space aliens from Mars or evil robots from the future. If Chris had an even basic understanding of time, space, and the theory of relativity (which are all covered in the public school system), he might have withdrawn these comments trying to rationalize a comic book about [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|magic humanoid hedgehogs]] and [[CWCville|imaginary cities]].

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he suggests that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects users of this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'').

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an instrument of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune upon the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse ([[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]]) on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic du jour — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]]. How these items came to be imbued with magic properties has not been addressed.

Chris also appears to believe that he can, to an extent, [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]]. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon. He may have gotten the notion of hearing supernatural voices from psychics (in real life or more likely in the media), who claim to converse with the spirits of the dead. During his time masquerading as [[JenkinsJinkies]] on [[Trollin Train]], Chris hoped to dissuade trolls by claiming that his house was haunted, describing [[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_the_Equipment_and_the_Digging_.28Thu_26_Aug_2010_5:12_AM.29|an alleged encounter]] with the vengeful ghosts of Patti and [[Christopher's name change|his younger self]]. Chris apparently believed that trolls would heed this threat.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied they were evidenced by Mary Lee Walsh's reputation going "DOWN":
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defence mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Among the many issues faced by Chris in his perception of reality, his tendency towards conspiracy theorism is the one that has caused him the most trouble. Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his huge, cloying ego, and as such believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake, something to which neither he nor his parents take kindly.

As stated, Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things; most importantly, it illustrated that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]]. Considering how readily and fervently these beliefs were held by his parents, it is sadly little wonder that Chris thinks the same way.

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, he revealed that he shares his parents' insane beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place. Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going as far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling evidence of Chris's belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[White knight|White Knights]]. Despite their attempts to offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] respectfully point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. However, as is the rule with Chris, these people were not telling him what he wanted to hear and were thusly ignored.

==Descent into Madness==
As time has gone on, it has become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris's already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to slacken further and further - getting to the point that it has alienated [[White knight|many of his closest supporters]].

Particularly troubling are his [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|October 2013 rants]] on [[Facebook]] about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] fictitious character [[Megagi La Skunk]] has talked to him and told him that she (Megan, but by extension Megagi) should never have been born. Chris claimed that Megan is at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|uncursed]], closing by stating that he and [[Bob Chandler|his father's ghost]] will get revenge if she does not comply.

There are many things deeply concerning about this tirade, but the most troubling is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]], nor any reason to suspect Megan would behave this way. This paranoid, insane notion was contrived entirely by Chris - likely with some parental input - and can only be described as complete lunacy.

In the autumn of [[2014]], Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing to his perineum]] in an attempt at [[China|vaginal]] resemblance. Unfortunately for Chris, the piercing became infected as of [[December 2014|December]]. Unfazed, he simply had it pierced again. While Chris was persuaded to have this piercing removed too, he remained deeply interested in becoming a woman by unorthodox means, much to the worry of [[CWCki|onlookers]]. Eventually though, he finally had it removed completely.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Slow-in-the-minds

2015-01-06T18:38:10Z

Blonichu:

{{Quote|I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional [sic]; it would be like looking through a Window to Hell to me.|Chris on other autistic people, [[IRC (17 December 2008)]]}}

[[Image:FavorDaStraights.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu]] is also a slow-in-the-mind]]

"'''Slow-in-the-minds'''" and "'''slow minded'''" are [[CWC-isms]] that refer to developmentally disabled, cognitively delayed, crazy, and/or generally unintelligent people. (Other than [[Chris]] himself, of course.) The term was first seen in [[Chris]]'s school project "[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]."

"Slow-in-the-minds" hits a fine trifecta of points. One, it displays Chris's arrogance, seeing as how it applies to so many classes of people, all of whom he considers "slower" than he. Two, it shows Chris's lip-service attention to fitting in to society, since it's a piss-poor euphemism on its own and even worse when used in a school project. Three, there's a delicious irony in Chris decrying students who are "slow in the mind", even though [[Honor roll|his own mental aptitude is dubious]].

In a number of responses from the [[Mailbag]], Chris has explained that he finds the mentally challenged (especially those who also have physical [[duck|deformities]]) creepy, and likens them to zombies.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref> Chris's bigotry extends to his fellow [[Autism|autistics]] — he speaks in incredibly cruel and derisive terms about the various mental and physical problems that are thrust upon these innocent individuals, whereas he (as a self-proclaimed "[[Chris and his Ego|high-functioning]]" autistic) is pure and clean.

Despite that he seems to hardly consider low functioning autistics human, he often styles himself as a spokesperson for autism, making a stand against [[Asperger Syndrome]] in the non-existent conflict between autism and Aspergers. This delusion is made most apparent in the [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|CWCipedia article on Aspergers]]. It has been suggested he says this to make himself look good and complain that he should be receiving the care and attention that those with Aspergers receive.

Chris seems to interpret the "high-functioning" part of his diagnosis as a compliment, giving him the best of both worlds ... he can blame any of his shortcomings on his autism, but still console himself with the fact that he's "high-functioning" and therefore better than the "slow-in-the-minds".

[[Image:Chris_and_Rule_34.jpg|thumb|Again.]]

==Uses by Chris==
Chris's use of this term has evolved over the years. Early on, he pointedly distinguished between the "slow-minded" and himself. In late 2009 and onward, however, he began referring to himself as "a little slow" or "sometimes slow," once he discovered he could use it as an excuse for his many failings.

*On a 1999 [[Manchester_High_Leaks#Help_This_Unborn_Child|high school assignment]] about prenatal development, Chris identified various factors that could cause newborn children to have "slow minds". This appears to be the earliest known use of the term.
*In [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], Chris described his peers on his school bus as "slow-in-the-minds."
*[[Sub-Episode 6]], when exploring the ecology of the [[Jerkop]], notes that "slow-minded people" are susceptible to becoming Mary Lee Walsh's rent-a-cop slaves. (Chris adds that because he is, of course, not slow in the mind, he is immune to the "hypno-gun" that brainwashes the Jerkops.)
*[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]] features, among other things, Chris attempting to correct the "misconception" that he is a "slow-minded person."
*In a [[IRC (18 December 2008)|December 2008 IRC chat]], when asked to give an example of learning from his mistakes, Chris said, "when it was spelled out for me that a sign by my side made me look slow-minded, when clearly I am not."
*Chris mentions the same incident in a [[Chris_E-mails_2007#February|2007 e-mail]] to his old schoolteacher Virginia Sanford: "I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the 'R' Word."
*Conversing with his "fans" in [[Mumble 8]], Chris claimed, "For the record, I'm not- I'm not slow in the mind."
*While mocking a (legitimately mentally disabled) fan of his [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Naïve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|on YouTube]], Chris said, "You’re so [[naïve]] and slow in the mind."
*During the [[Father Call]], Chris says, "I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments."
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|CWCipedia article]] on Asperger's syndrome, Chris admits that "my mentality is sometimes slow."
*While begging off from some of the difficult questions he faced in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]], Chris whines about how "Sometimes my mind's a little slow."
*In the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris referred to Virginia gubernatorial candidates [[Wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]] and [[Wikipedia:Creigh Deeds|Creigh Deeds]] as being "not so swift."
*In [[Jackie Chat 8]], Chris admits that "I sometimes feel mentally slow."
*Likewise, in a July 2010 [[Jackie E-mails 3|e-mail to Jackie]], he says "I am sometimes mentally slow and don't get all of the details at once and such." This becomes a recurring theme in Chris's conversations with Jackie, as he repeatedly tries to use his "slow-mindedness" as an excuse. The [[Jackie E-mails 20|20th collection of e-mails]] has a few good examples.
*Talking about his high-school days in the [[Lars Call]], Chris says "Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my autism and considerable slow-mindedness, that has happened to me before."

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris-chan (forum)]]
*[[Chris and hypocrisy]]
*[[Jackie Chat 9]], where Chris discusses his experiences on the short bus.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Slow-in-the-minds

2015-01-06T18:32:25Z

Blonichu:

{{Quote|I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional [sic]; it would be like looking through a Window to Hell to me.|Chris on other autistic people, [[IRC (17 December 2008)]]}}

[[Image:FavorDaStraights.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu]] is also a slow-in-the-mind]]

"'''Slow-in-the-minds'''" and "'''slow minded'''" are [[CWC-isms]] that refer to developmentally disabled, cognitively delayed, crazy, and/or generally unintelligent people. (Other than [[Chris]] himself, of course.) The term was first seen in [[Chris]]'s school project "[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]."

"Slow-in-the-minds" hits a fine trifecta of points. One, it displays Chris's arrogance, seeing as how it applies to so many classes of people, all of whom he considers "slower" than he. Two, it shows Chris's lip-service attention to fitting in to society, since it's a piss-poor euphemism on its own and even worse when used in a school project. Three, there's a delicious irony in Chris decrying students who are "slow in the mind", even though [[Honor roll|his own mental aptitude is dubious]].

In a number of responses from the [[Mailbag]], Chris has explained that he finds the mentally challenged (especially those who also have physical [[duck|deformities]]) creepy, and likens them to zombies.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref> Chris's bigotry extends to his fellow [[Autism|autistics]] — he speaks in incredibly cruel and derisive terms about the various mental and physical problems that are thrust upon these innocent individuals, whereas he (as a self-proclaimed "[[Chris and his Ego|high-functioning]]" autistic) is pure and clean.

Despite that he seems to hardly consider low functioning autistics human, he often styles himself as a spokesperson for autism, making a stand against [[Asperger Syndrome]] in the non-existent conflict between autism and Aspergers. This delusion is made most apparent in the [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|CWCipedia article on Aspergers]]. It has been suggested he says this to make himself look good and complain that he should be receiving the care and attention that those with Aspergers receive.

Chris seems to interpret the "high-functioning" part of his diagnosis as a compliment, giving him the best of both worlds ... he can blame any of his shortcomings on his autism, but still console himself with the fact that he's "high-functioning" and therefore better than the "slow-in-the-minds".

[[Image:Chris_and_Rule_34.jpg|thumb|Again.]]

==Uses by Chris==
Chris's use of this term has evolved over the years. Early on, he pointedly distinguished between the "slow-minded" and himself. In late 2009 and onward, however, he began referring to himself as "a little slow" or "sometimes slow," once he discovered he could use it as an excuse for his many failings.

*On a 1999 [[Manchester_High_Leaks#Help_This_Unborn_Child|high school assignment]] about prenatal development, Chris identified various factors that could cause newborn children to have "slow minds". This appears to be the earliest known use of the term.
*In another high-school assignment [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], Chris described his peers on the bus as "slow-in-the-minds."
*[[Sub-Episode 6]], when exploring the ecology of the [[Jerkop]], notes that "slow-minded people" are susceptible to becoming Mary Lee Walsh's rent-a-cop slaves. (Chris adds that because he is, of course, not slow in the mind, he is immune to the "hypno-gun" that brainwashes the Jerkops.)
*[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]] features, among other things, Chris attempting to correct the "misconception" that he is a "slow-minded person."
*In a [[IRC (18 December 2008)|December 2008 IRC chat]], when asked to give an example of learning from his mistakes, Chris said, "when it was spelled out for me that a sign by my side made me look slow-minded, when clearly I am not."
*Chris mentions the same incident in a [[Chris_E-mails_2007#February|2007 e-mail]] to his old schoolteacher Virginia Sanford: "I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the 'R' Word."
*Conversing with his "fans" in [[Mumble 8]], Chris claimed, "For the record, I'm not- I'm not slow in the mind."
*While mocking a (legitimately mentally disabled) fan of his [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Naïve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|on YouTube]], Chris said, "You’re so [[naïve]] and slow in the mind."
*During the [[Father Call]], Chris says, "I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments."
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|CWCipedia article]] on Asperger's syndrome, Chris admits that "my mentality is sometimes slow."
*While begging off from some of the difficult questions he faced in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]], Chris whines about how "Sometimes my mind's a little slow."
*In the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris referred to Virginia gubernatorial candidates [[Wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]] and [[Wikipedia:Creigh Deeds|Creigh Deeds]] as being "not so swift."
*In [[Jackie Chat 8]], Chris admits that "I sometimes feel mentally slow."
*Likewise, in a July 2010 [[Jackie E-mails 3|e-mail to Jackie]], he says "I am sometimes mentally slow and don't get all of the details at once and such." This becomes a recurring theme in Chris's conversations with Jackie, as he repeatedly tries to use his "slow-mindedness" as an excuse. The [[Jackie E-mails 20|20th collection of e-mails]] has a few good examples.
*Talking about his high-school days in the [[Lars Call]], Chris says "Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my autism and considerable slow-mindedness, that has happened to me before."

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris-chan (forum)]]
*[[Chris and hypocrisy]]
*[[Jackie Chat 9]], where Chris discusses his experiences on the short bus.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]