CWCki - User contributions [en]

Regina e-mails

2012-05-07T00:44:27Z

BlueberryRagamuffin: Fixed broken heterochromia link

[[File:Recession.jpg|right|thumb|In the Regina e-mails, Chris comments on the economic recession.]]

'''Regina Novakova''' was a [[Molvania|Czech]] student studying abroad at [[UVA]]. She had her father's help to purchase [[Chris]]'s ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]s [[online]] over [[eBay]] and the two soon began communication regarding the transaction.

Unfortunately for Regina, Chris took this opportunity to start his perverted advances over someone who never expressed an interest in him to begin with. The tone eventually shifted and Chris became his usual lazy self and then discontinued all contact.

These emails take place from 25 [[September 2009|September]] to early [[October 2009]], right around the time [[Barbara|Snorlax]] was [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_9th,_2009|thought to be battling AIDS]], and also in the midst of the whole [[Gregg Mays]] thing.

==Correspondence==
====First contact====
{{EmailReply|My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I was just in touch with your father, [[Wikipedia:Rorschach (comics)|Walter Kovacs]], and he has informed me that I will be exchanging the business of him buying the two Guitars from me on eBay with you. The total amount due is 110.99, cash only if picking up in person, please. He was unsure of your phone number, if you have one, but if you have one, you may call me back at 434-760-0848.

What is your name, if I may ask? And he says you are going to a university here in Virginia; are you going to [[University of Virginia|UVA]] in [[Charlottesville]]?

I await your call or reply.

Have a nice day.
Stay Safe,
Christian W. Chandler.}}

====Addendum to first contact====
{{EmailReply|Upon personal pick-up, the total without shipping is 91.99}}
====Regina appears====
{{Email|Hey!!!!

You caught me at the perfect time!! I was just checking my emails before going out!

Yeah, he doesn't know my phone number cause I don't have one yet :( I just moved here from [[Molvania|the Czech republic]] as a foreign student and I haven't got a cell phone yet. We've been communicating by Skype. It's a nightmare!!!! I want to get a contract but I have to get all this extra visa stuff sorted out!

I am totally going to UVA! BA in philosophy! It looks hard but I am up to the challenge.

My name is Regina by the way. I see from your email that your name is Christian! That's totally cool cause my brother's name is Christian. But in Czech we spell it Kristian.

So I'll get my dad to wire me the money. I am pretty busy sorting out official stuff and meeting new people. Is it possible we can set up a meet in a week or so? Is that too late? I really hope not! Thanks by the way!!!!

If I can get this cell nightmare worked out I will send you the number ASAP!!

Have a great day!!!!!
Regina}}
====Chris the philosopher====
[[Image:ECP_00015.jpg|thumb|Chris attached this image. It may as well have served as a warning.]]
{{EmailReply|It is nice to make your acquaintance, Regina. A meeting in a week is good. It is so cool you are going to UVA, because it is only about half to a full hour from my house in [[Ruckersville]], North of UVA up [[Wikipedia:Interstate 29|29]].

I have talked on Skype before, it can be a pain sometimes with [[Autism|miscommunications]] and the fees to call a phone number sometimes. At least it is one way to be in talking touch.

I went to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], where I got an Associates Degree and a Certificate in [[Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] in [[2006]]. I would use the computer program to design 3D rendered models of mechanical parts and buildings. I even finished my final CADD class with a bang designing a [[CWCville Mall|Whole Shopping Mall]], Two Stories and a [[Mayor's Office]] on the second floor looking over the front entrance. It is huge. :)

I sometimes have [[CWCFlyingElephants|philosophical thoughts]], although I'm not all that knowledgeable in philosophy, perhaps you can inform me about it, even as your own review for your tests/exams.

I look forward to talking with you more and [[Sex|meeting you]]. Please tell me more about yourself in your next message, and I will tell you more as well. Also, I've attached a current photo of myself to this e-mail.

TTYL. :)
Stay Safe,
Chris.}}
====About Regina====
{{Email|About me? Well, I like [[Sonichu's Edge|running]], [[video games]] and [[music]]. But I really don't have much time for them. I spent a lot of time working in my father's company in the past. He used to get me to help him with [[English]]. He is learning but he still isn't very good yet, as you might have noticed. But now I have come to America to study! I'm from [[Wikipedia:Liberec|Liberec]] in the Czech Republic, but me and my family moved to Prague when my father started his company. Have you ever been to Prague? It's amazing!

I know a lot about philosophy! I love it!!! I have studied it forever. I can't wait to learn more by going to university!

I never heard of CADD before, I had to look it up lol. Do you work as a designer or something?

Till later.
Na shledanou (That's Czech)
Regina.}}
''Na shledanou'' means "Good bye."
====Still selling?====
{{Email|Hey did you get my last email?

Haven't heard from you in a bit. Are you still going to sell me your guitar hero controllers? I was thinking of collecting them Monday the 5th, cause I have lots of free time then.

Let me know.

Yours,
Regina.}}
====Tiny hints of creepiness====
{{EmailReply|I apologize for not replying to you; I hadn't checked my e-mail over the weekend. The last e-mail I got from you was the one I last replied to. Did you get the picture I sent you? You may need to resend the last e-mail you said you sent.

Anyway, yes I still plan to sell you the guitars; Monday the 5th is good. We can meet up at the Barracks Road [[McDonalds]] at about 2 or 3 PM, and after the business, you and I can [[Rape|hang out for a while]].

Tell me, do you live in one of the dormatries around the UVA, or do you have your own place? And I still would like to hear more about you.

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Chris.}}
====Slightly larger hints of creepiness====
{{EmailReply|Wow. :)

You learned [[Chris and English|english]] before your father, and you help him learn it, that is cool. What does he manufacture or do in his company? And how about your mother, does she still live with him? I have not been to Prague, but I'll look it up, and you can tell me more about it from your Point of View.

I am an avid designer, yes, yet [[Monthly tugboat|it's kinda hard to get such a job]] around Charlottesville at the time. I am also an [[Chris and art|artist]]; I will be delighted to share with you my [[Sonichu (comic)|original drawings]] and other artworks.

Gmail is okay; I was [[Jack Thaddeus E-Mails|in contact before]] with [[Jack Thaddeus|someone]] who had one; one or two pieces of e-mail get misplaced a bit, but we sorted out the miscommunications.

As for the McDonalds I was referring to, there is only one Barnes & Nobel Bookstore in Charlottesville; find it, and that McDonalds is nearby.

I'm currently living with my [[Barbara|mother]] and [[Bob|father]], but I too am looking forward to getting a place of my own, or sharin' a pad with my girlfriend (if I had one; I'm [[Virgin with rage|single]]). If things work out for you, I would be happy to be your roommate and help out.

A bit more info about myself, I'm 5'10", about [[Obesity|average body type]], [[Heterochromia|my left eye is blue/right eye is green]] ([[Honest content|I had pink eye in my right during High School]], and my perscribed eyedrops changed its pigment), my hair is brown, my favorite color is blue/favorite shade is Crayola's "Battery-Charged Blue", I enjoyed reading [[R.L. Stine|R.L. Stein's]] "Goosebumps" and "Fear Street" books during my teenage years, my favorite movie of all time is "[[Mary Poppins]]", and my favorite food is [[SpaghettiRoutine|Macaroni & Cheese]].

I gtg, but I look forward to your next message and replying to it. :)

Stay Safe, and I'll TTYL,
Chris.}}

====More about Regina====
{{Email|Yeah, my dad grew up under [[CWCville|the Communist system]]. So he had to learn Russian because they didn't teach English back then. He does really well though. His company makes clay and ceramic tiles by the way. Among other things.

Prague is one of the greatest cities in the world! We call it the Paris of the East. I attached a picture I took from my graduation trip. For a party we took a boat trip on the [[Wikipedia:Vltava|Vltava]] and I took this picture of the castle. It was such an awesome day. There are so many things to see and do. It is quite possibly the best place in Europe. But it feels good to get away for a while.

That's too bad about the jobs. I guess this financial crisis makes it hard to find work. It must be hard to make ends meet. I guess not a lot of people are building things so it must be hard to work as a designer. Do you do like freelance stuff? Cause I guess that would be REALLY hard to find work.

I guess I can look that McDonalds up on google maps or something. I'll find it. I just don't know cause I never eat there. Barnes and Noble is a book store right?

You're looking for a place too? I'm trying to find a 2 bedroom apartment around UVA for around 800$. I'm not sure how realistic that is yet. Most of the people I know are staying with family to keep things cheap. I'm kinda lucky cause my dad can help out and I saved up a lot. I'm trying to convince some of my friends so if they turn me down, I'll let you know. Are you a [[Chris' room|tidy]] guy? Do you [[Tobacky|smoke]]? Do you like [[Chris's Big Night Out|parties]]? I like to have the occasional party.

I guess I can tell you a bit more about me. I'm blond with brown eyes. I'm pretty short. Only 161 centimetres. I'm sorry cause I'm really not used to these American measurements yet so I don't know what that is in inches...

I have to admit, I have never heard of any of those books. I read a lot of [[CWCville|Kafka]]. I didn't like him at first but I gradually grew to like him. He's Czech so we had to read a lot of his books in school. I've never heard of Mary Poppins. I don't really watch American movies. I like them but most of the films I watch are European. I've heard many things about macaroni and cheese. But I'm kind of hesitant to try it. American cheese scares me. I have a CRAZY love for PEANUT BUTTER though.

What's pinkeye?

Na shledanou!
Regina.}}
====Chris rambles about himself====
{{EmailReply|To answer your questions, I consider myself a [[Chris and health|tidy person]], I have never [[Tobacky|smoked]], and I like parties ([[Alcohol|I'm a social drinker]]). Yet I'm willing to stay dry to be a desiginated driver.

I do a bit of freelance artwork, I was hoping to save this until when we met in person, but I am the [[Chris and copyright|original creator]] of the Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokemon|Pok'emon]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], and their city of [[Cwcville]], VA. I have been internet famous for a few years, so I have [[Trolls|fans]] and [[Clyde Cash|internet bullies]]. The main Official Websites for Sonichu and Rosechu are [[CWCipedia]], Cwcipedia/CWC's Sonichu Site, and my Current [[YouTube]] account, "ChristianWChandler". Other similar websites that may be similar or calim to be "Official" are NOT. I am planning on getting paper-published soon, and there is no Official Merchandise available yet. I have all the original page drawings and my other original artworks here at my house.

And the Pinkeye, as stated on the "Pinkeye" article on [[Wikipedia]], "[[Wikipedia:Conjunctivitis|Conjunctivitis]] (commonly called "pink eye" or "Madras eye") is an inflammation of the conjunctiva (the outermost layer of the eye and the inner surface of the eyelids), most commonly due to an allergic reaction or an infection (usually viral, but sometimes bacterial)."

Getting back to your last e-mail, clay and ceramic tiles, that is cool. I have a cousin who used to sell ceramic pieces and statues, but he gave that up to become the Sheriff of his hometown. My father is a retired Engineer from General Electric (GE); he also was the Designer of the controls of the Plastic-Molding Machines, so without him, you would not have the plastic on your PC's keyboard, or the plastic on the [[Obesity|2-Liter soda bottles]].

I enjoyed the picture of the Vitava castle you sent me, thank you. :) I'm happy you were able to enjoy it.

<nowiki>Also, I just checked the math; at the rate of 2.5 cm = 1 inch, and 12 inches = 1 foot, 161 cm = 64.4 inches, whichs makes you about 5 feet, 4.4 inches. You're only just under 6 inches (15 cm) shorter than me.</nowiki>

Oh, and Barnes and Nobel IS a bookstore. Let me give you a directional piece, if you know where the interception of Ivy and Emmet is; down the road by UVA's "The Corner", passing by the road leading to the Alderman Library, ending by the Soccer Field and Tennis Courts. You go North on Emmet, and continue down until you see a Taco Bell on the left side, the McDonalds, Barnes & Nobel and the Barracks Road Shopping Center those are in are just beyond the [[Chloe|Taco Bell]]. You also pass the [[Greene County Conspiracy|John Paul Jones Arena]] on the way.

I may be able to help you on your apartment search. there is a website, http://www.craigslist.com, you go there, look up Virginia, then Charlottesville, then Apartments, they have listings from people who want to rent or sell apartments and other things.

You can look up Goosebumps and Fear Street at the libraries around town, under the "Young Adults" section, if you're looking for something new to read. I have read Franz Kafka a bit in High School; we read
"[[Wikipedia:The Metamorphosis|Metamorphasis]]". I enjoyed the comparisons between the busy salesman life he had, and what it would feel like to be a bug; so miniscule in life, with a lot of people stepping on you here and there.

Mostly, Macaroni and Cheese is made with Chedder, or sometimes it can be made with Swiss. And I enjoy the occasional peanut butter sandwich, it is a [[Chris_and_health#Nutrition|healthy choice]]. :)

Do you have a headshot photo of yourself you can share with me, please? I shared my headshot with you, and I would feel better if I can get a preview of your face. Also, I am 27 years old, how about you? And are you a bit of a drinker too?

I'm only curious. ;)

Stay Safe, and I'll TTYL, Chris.}}

====Regina tries to make sense of all that====
{{Email|Ok, that's cool that you are tidy. If my friends don't pull through, I'll keep you in mind.

Ok, so I'm a bit confused. Pokemons are those Japanese card game things right? So you designed some characters for these [[cards]] or video games? That's pretty cool. Does [[sonichu]] or [[rosechu]] mean something in Japanese? This isn't my computer. It belongs to my aunt (she's the family member I'm living with) and she needs it for work a lot. So I will have to check out your portfolio site or whatever later.

Pinkeye sounds really [[Honest Content|gross]].

Ok, thanks for the directions. I will see if I can get my friend to swing by with her car on Monday and we'll go pick them up. I don't think it will be a problem.

Thanks for the advice about Craigslist. I had already been checking it. I'm looking at a few possibilities.

Thanks for the book recommendations too, but I don't think I'll have time to check those out. I'll probably be too busy reading philosophy books for university. So you read Kafka? Only The Metamorphosis? My favourite from him is [[Wikipedia:The Trial|The Trial]]. Have you read it?

I tried one of these easy to make macaroni and cheese boxes last night. It was pretty horrible. I had to first get over the fact that the cheese was a powder, then I tried to eat it. I really didn't like it. My aunt eats it though. I just can't seem to get used to American cheese. Especially powdered. You don't make it like in Europe.

A headshot? Like for actors? I don't have any professional photos like that, but I can attach a normal one. I guess it makes sense cause you will have to recognise me. Here's a picture of me and my brother. This is from the last time we went camping.

I'm 20 years old. Which means I can't [[Alcohol|drink]] here. I like to have social drinks. In the Czech republic you can drink at 18. So It's really annoying. So sometimes I just drink with my friends at home when we can find someone who is old enough to get us a bottle of wine.

Talk soon I hope.

Na shledanou,
Regina.}}
====Random access humor demonstration====
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your picture. You are soo cute and pretty. :)

FYI, Pokemon started as a video game on [[Nintendo]] Game Boy, then it became an anime, followed by the Trading Card Game. Sonichu and Rosechu are not japanese names, although the inspiration for "Sonichu" came from Sonic the Hedgehog's japanese name, "Soniku".

I will look up and read "The Trial", thank you for recommending it to me.

They have Macaroni and Cheese premade in the frozen food aisle of the grocery stores, I personally recommend the Marie Calandar brand; it is good, and it's inexpensive.

Maybe after you and I meet, I can come by your place and bring a spot of wine or something for you. ;)

I talked to my father about you a bit, and my father went on with his stories of Czechoslovakia; he's been a bit around the world, and he studies his atlases and maps. He informed me about what had happened there during the WWII and such. Clearify it for me and him, is the country split up like Czech and Slovak Republics, or is it still combined to Czechoslovakia?

Also, my father had some friends back in the late 1970s who were from Czechoslovakia; they had left there for America illegally, so they could never go back. Anyway, my dad and mom enjoyed conversing with them, and they all would also share the [[Wikipedia:Slivovitz|Slivovitch]] (Plum Brandy) they would bring over. He really enjoyed it, it came in this perfume bottle-shaped bottle with plums on the label. Locally, the closest place to find the Slivovitch, as far as my dad knows, is just north in Maryland.

You would likely have an enjoyable conversation of Czechoslovakia, or the Czech Republic, with him. I'm not all that knowledgeable in geography personally, but I can learn.

Another little something else about me, I can be funny; sometimes I'll [[Random Access Humor|think of something silly, witty or random]] that makes me and my family smile and/or laugh about. Like for example, I used to go on about people with [[HippoOnYourHead|Hippopotami on their heads]]. :D Or this man from Nantucket who had on his head a bucket. :D Even a Lawer named Tom Sawer who had a daughter named Sue. :D And recently a silly song line of [[RandomSong1|a cow named Moo]], "Hey there, Moo, wha'cha gonna do? Are you gonna give me some milk today? Moo. Moo." :D

And sometimes, I like to take words, spell them backwards and say them like that. My name, "Christian Weston Chandler" would be "[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]". Or your name, "Regina Kovacs" would be "Scavok [[Niggos|Aniger]]". And sometimes, I take numbers and replace letters in words with them. 1 can be I, L or J. 2 can be Q, R, S, Z. 3 can be B, E, M, N or W. And so on for the other single digits; all it takes is a spot of imagination. I can spell my first name as [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|CH2127143]] from CHRISTIAN.

I'll stop for now, and I understand if you're feeling [[Slow-in-the-minds|confused]] from the wordplay. But I can be quite creative and clever.

So our meeting is set then, Monday the 5th, 2:00 PM, at the Barracks Road McDonalds. We can get the guitar business done, then sit, talk and I'll be happy to treat you for lunch. I look forward to seeing you, and I feel this can be a good friendship. ;)

Stay Safe, and I'll TTYL,
Love and Peace,
Chris.

P.S.

BTW, "Na shledanou", is that Czech for "Love" or "Sincerely"?}}

====Regina tries to make sense of all that bullshit====
{{Email|Hey thanks for the compliment! I think I am a little too thin though. It's not a very good pic though. I didn't bring my computer with me cause I need to buy a new one, so I saved most of my stuff on CDs before I came. That's the only one I could find of me. Somewhere around here I have pics from my graduation which are really cool but I don't know where.

So is this Soniku thing pretty [[Chris and money|profitable]]? I always wondered if people who design stuff for video games make a lot of money and if it is hard work or a lot of fun. Designing video games sounds like something that would be fun, but I have zero artistic talent and I don't think I could ever master all this digital design stuff. I just like playing them.

To be honest, I think I will steer clear of macaroni and cheese for the time being. [[America]]n cheese in general isn't really appealing to me. It's all processed and everything. It doesn't seem like it would be all that good for you. But I don't really know. I'm just not a fan.

Wine is pretty good. I like white. Do you know any American brands that are really good wine? I have tried a couple from California but I want to get a good sampling. You don't need to buy me any, I think you could get in trouble or something right? My country is better known for beer, though I am not the biggest fan of it.

I don't understand if you said your dad has been to the Czech republic or he knows a lot about it. I can certainly clarify it for both of you! In [[1989]], communism ended in what we call the sametová revoluce, think in English it's called the soft revolution or the [[Wikipedia:Velvet Revolution|velvet revolution]] or something like that. Then, a couple of years later, there was a referendum and we decided to split up. On January 1st [[1993]], we became two countries again.

Your dad has tried slivovica! And he enjoyed it! That's great! We make many of these drinks from other fruit too. We call them pálenka. I like slivovica too. Have you tried it?

I am not so sure that I understand this humour. Why did the people have hippos on their heads? And does the cow belong to this lawyer? I think you will have to explain these a bit more to me. One thing I have a lot of trouble with is American jokes. Czech humour is very different. Don't worry though, I don't think you would understand many Czech jokes. I have tried telling some to my friends and no one ever laughs.

My name isn't actually Regina Kovacs, it's Regina Novakova. Walter isn't my real father. He married my mum when I was very small. My father died in an accident before I was born but I kept his name. Walter is the only dad I've ever known though. I guess that isn't as interesting if you spell it backwards.

I would be happy to have lunch with you. I don't really like McDonalds though. I find their food to be really bad. One of my friends and her boyfriend may be driving me though. Can she come too? That's not certain yet. I may borrow my aunt's car if she doesn't need it.

Actually "na shledanou" just means "goodbye". I guess that's kind of formal. If you want to be friendlier, you can just say "čau" or "pápá". Love in Czech is "láska" and "I love you" is "miluji tě". I guess if you are looking for an equal to a closing in a letter you would say something like "upřímně váš" but that's kind of formal too.

Ok, sorry, no more language lessons.

Čau! :)
Regina}}
====Chris rambles like a motherfucker====
{{EmailReply|I got your last e-mail on [[October 2009|October]] 1. :) BTW, that was my mother's birthday too; she's 68 now. I've been busy lately, and I apologize for not replying sooner. I would have replied yesterday, but [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2009|my mom came down ill]] (thought to be food poisioning at first but it's confirmed to be [[Barbara_Chandler#Recent_health_problems|colitis]]; a colon infection); had to be rushed to the Martha Jefferson Hospital. She is still recovering, and she is feeling better now.

Now, in response to your last e-mail, firstly, I think your figure looks great; I would not change it. ;) And more pics of you would be good, I look forward to seeing your Graduation Pics.

Sonichu can be profitable, but the plan is to get paper published with a comic book company like Archie or Marvel (or self-publish if they refuse me), then my comics can be mass-printed, sold, and merchandise and profits to follow.

I'm not all that a video game designer, but I have had experience with part and building desiging on the CADD programs, as well as in-video game designing, such as the level-creation-styles of [[LittleBigPlanet]]. And before then with in-game customizations with games such as [[Animal Crossing]], [[Wikipedia:Jet Set Radio|Jet Grind Radio]], [[Wikipedia:F-Zero GX|F-Zero GX]], and others. I'm also looking forward to the upcoming [[ModNation Racers|Modnation Racers]]. BTW, you said you play video games too, which console(s) do you own? If you have a PS3, we can be exchange [[PSN]] Online IDs and communicate through there too.

I've just started drinking last June; my first drink was a [[Chris's_Big_Night_Out|Long Island Iced Tea]]; Delicious. :)P I've enjoyed the tastes of a local wine I sampled from a local winery. I've also tasted [[Wikipedia:Mike's Hard Lemonade Co.|Mike's Hard Lemonade]], [[Wikipedia:Budweiser (Anheuser-Busch)|Budwiser]], [[Wikipedia:Miller Brewing Company|Miller]], [[Wikipedia:Anheuser-Busch_brands#Michelob|Micolobe]], [[Wikipedia:Samuel Adams (beer)|Samual Adams]] and a couple of others. And I look forward to sampling more varities of liqour. I have not yet tried the Slivovich

From the jokes I told you, most were word-play jokes; the hippo joke was just silly. :D No, the lawer did not own the cow; those two scenarios were seperate. "Lawyer" and "Sawyer" rhyme, and what does a lawyer do? "Sue" someone. I'll sing the cow lyric for you on Monday when we meet; it's funnier when heard anyway.

Your friends may come for lunch too. I can think of three other good places: CiCi's Pizza has good pizza, salads, soups and desserts; all you can eat. Tropical Smoothie Cafe has good flatbread sandwiches that come with your choice of chips or fruit, and their smoothies are tasty too. Baja Bean has some good mexican food. I'm also open for your suggestions, or what you feel like then.

I'm sorry to hear that about your original father, but at least you had Walt to be your emotionally supportive dad, and you still have your mother too. :) It's always good to count your blessings.

[[Chris and religion|Do you go to church]]? I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Wesley United Methodist Church]], south-bound on Emmet St. beyond the tennis courts, across from the UVA parking garage there. I was baptized there Mother's Day of 2008; my father and I are Methodists, and my mother is Presbertyrian.

Do you have siblings? I have two half-brothers and one half-sister. My mother had [[Joseph Cole Smithey]]; a movie reviewer in New York City, currently living with his girlfriend and her family. He also has a website, [http://www.colesmithey.com http://www.colsmithey.com]. My father had [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]]. Alan is an Optomologist in Chesterfield County; he is married and has a daughter; her name is Savannah. Carol has a PHD and Degree in Math, and last my father and I heard, she was working with the Government in DC; Top Secret Stuff. Seriously, I HAVE NO INKLING of where in DC she is or what's she been up to.

Does your mother work too, or is she a housewife? My mother held a number of Secretarial jobs; most recent was at First North American National Bank (Partnered with Circuit City) where she worked in Recovery. She's retired now; she used to be an adequate homemaker, but since she retired, she's been taking it easy a lot.

BTW, my father's name is Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., and my mother's is Barbara Anne Weston Chandler.

And I have a number of aunts, uncles and cousins I'll be happy to tell you about at a later time. Please feel free to tell me some about your family and y'alls history.

Also, I am 1/32 [[Cherokee]], from my father's side; I am also part English, British and French (British and French from my mother's). My family tree includes the Boleyn family; [[Anne Boleyn]], one of King Henry VIII's wives, who gave birth to Queen Elizabeth I. Anne was related in an Aunt-Sense; my mom and I are more directly linked to her sister, Mary Boleyn. At least, as far as my mother found in her family's history. the next link she found was Richard Weston, First Earl of Portland. I'm still trying to find the link between Richard Weston and Mary Boleyn. Anyway, another one of my ancestors after Richard was the dude who bartered for the Mayflower for the English People to board and take that famous Pilgrimage.

I'll stop there for now.

Anyway, our meeting is settled then; this coming Monday at the Barracks Road McDonalds at 2:00 PM. We'll make the business exchange of the guitars for the $90.99, USD, then we'll hang out with a spot of lunch. :)

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe and Take Care,
Cau,
Chris.
(I do not know how to type in an acented letter from my keyboard or AOL e-mail)}}

====Regina drops some hints====
{{Email|Hey Christian. I am at a friends house right now. I am a little bit drunk because we have been drinking some wine her dad gave us. Please excuse any spelling errors. :)

That is pretty cool about your Soniku thing. I hope you get it published. I still havent seen [[CWCipedia|your website]]. I guess I should check it out if you are famous for it or something.

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Is she ok? It sounds pretty serious. What happened exactly?

When I get home from my friends house I will send you some grad photos. I have what I think is the perfect dress.

Yeah I figured the joke you were talking about would be better in person. Do you have any more examples? Im trying to understand as much as possible. Oh, feel free to correct my English too, I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to languages.

Ok, so we can meet at McDonalds and then go somewhere else. I really dont want to eat there. The taco place you mentioned sounds pretty cool. I dont think my friend and her boyfriend will be coming.

As for video games, I have a PS3 and mostly just play guitar hero. Thats why we are buying the controllers from you. Cause me and my friend are really competitive. We want to compete against each other.

[[Megan_Schroeder#Megan_Saga|Ugh, there is this really fat ugly guy at this party who keeps touching me and annoying me by talking about some stupid drawings he does.]] Hes really an idiot. Luckily my friend keeps shooing him away.

I dont really go to church a lot. I went to a Catholic secondary school. But in the Czech republic, religion is not all that popular. Ive never really found all that much reason to go to [[church]]. I dont know what methodism is. Im kind of a Christian Existentialist anyway. I really like [[Wikipedia:Søren Kierkegaard|Kierkegaard]].

Anyway, my thumbs are getting tired from typing this on my friends iPhone so I think I will get back to partying. Ill send you the pictures tomorrow.

Ahoj!!! :)
Regina}}
====Nazi joke====
{{Email|Hey, sorry for last night. I was in no state to be sending emails. I was kind of just doing it to look busy so [[Christian Weston Chandler|that guy]] would stop bothering me. I didn't really answer all your questions!!!!

So, in addition to the stuff I mentioned last night:

I do have some siblings. There is my brother Kristián I mentioned before, and my little sister Kateřina. Kristian is 25 and just started his own company. Kateřina is 15 and still attending secondary
school. My mom does work. She has a dog grooming business. My ancestors haven't done anything special. At least not that I know of. Maybe they have but Novák is such a common name in the Czech republic
the relation would be insignificant. I would check my Dad's side but Kovač is even more common than Novák. I don't like to be judged on my [[Anne Boleyn|family]] [[Daniel Weston|history]] anyway and prefer people assess me for what I do.

I have a Czech joke for you:
 During the Nazi occupation, a Gestapo officer drags a Czech man into a prison and says "lock him up!"
 The clerk asks, "what did he do?"
 The Gestapo officer says "he shouted '[[Michael Snyder|Jews]] out! Germans in their place!'"
 The clerk says "why did you arrest him for that? That's the new law!"
 The Gestapo officer says "he was in a Jewish cemetery!"

It's not the best joke but it's the only one that anyone has understood when I told it to them. Do you have any more jokes to consider before we meet?

So, at the Barracks road McDonalds at 2pm. Please expect that I will be a little late.

Hopefully I will hear from you by email before then. OK? :)

Get the guitars ready xixixi.

How is your mom doing?

Oh... and picture attched.

Čau čau!!!
Regina.}}
====The meeting arranged====
{{EmailReply|I've just downloaded and saw your pic; WOW! You're like Cinderella from the Disney movie; Beeeautiful! :)

I will have the two guitars and their USB receivers ready for you; please make sure you have the cash on hand to pay for them. $91 is acceptable; I will be happy to give you the penny in change. Also, I've just purchased PS3 Rock Band Country Track Pack for the code to download the Tracks to be playable in Rock Band 1 + 2. I was thinking about putting it on eBay for $19.99, but if you want it, I'll be happy to include it with the guitars, as a Free Bonus.

Do you get WiFi at your place, so we could communicate over the Playstation Network? If you don't, I recommend it. I get WiFi here at my house and as far as its yard streches property-wise, courtesy of Comcast Cable; I have a cable modem box with a WiFi Router equipped to it. It is a good deal, especially with Guitar Hero titles; I buy and download the additional Tracks from the Playstation Store (some of which are free).

Another great game I highly recommend for the PS3 is [[LittleBigPlanet]]; in addition to the Story Mode and customizing your Sackperson, you can collect the in-game parts and pieces and create your own levels. I have a few of my own uploaded onto the PSN. "LittleBigPlanet... It is a planet that is little; it is a planet that is big."

Anyway, by the taco place, do you mean the Taco Bell or the Baja Bean, just so I'm clear on that? It's okay if you come by yourself, and I understand if you're late; I'll wait for you. You'll know I'm there if you see a [[Son-Chu|dark blue station wagon-shaped Ford Escort]] with "Sonichu" on the License Plate, and an Autobot symbol on it's trunk door in the nearby parking spaces.

I would not judge you on your family history; it still makes a good conversation or research topic.

The hospital just released my mother this morning, and my father brought her home this afternoon. She is still recovering, and my father and I went out earlier to get her new perscriptions, but at least she doesn't have to make as many restroom runs now.

Your joke is good. I have a few other jokes, as well as a riddle or two. Or I may come up with something new at random. [[Common Questions#28 December 2009|I get some of my material from past comedy shows and movies]]. Three comedians I enjoy are Red Skelton, Lucille Ball and Jerry Sienfeld.

I look forward to meeting you and hanging out with you tomorrow. :)

Cau Cau, and Stay Safe,
Chris.}}
====Subtlety is wasted on Chris====
{{EmailReply|I'm glad you had a good time last night at your friend's house, and I'm sorry you had to deal with [[Chris|that fat guy]]. It's good to be blessed with friends to help you like that. :)

Oh, and Methodism, as well as Presbertianism, are both of Christian Religions; you may look them up on Wikipedia.

Cau,
Chris.}}
====eh [[Kick the Autistic|kicks autistics]] and doesn't afraid of anything====
{{Email|First off, I'm supposed to say HI FROM [[Gregg Mays|GREGG WITH THREE Gs]].

He said you had family business to attend to and couldn't make it. He was kind enough to drop off the guitars. Thank you for the discount by the way! 50% is huge! Gregg also took the liberty of cleaning off the stickers and paint. He said it looked kind of bad. But they look like new now! Thanks!

Hope nothing is too serious and you got it all sorted out.

Gregg is pretty cool guy.

ČAU!!!!
Regina :)}}
====Oh the guitars are good too====
{{Email|I got the computer for a couple minutes. Just wanted to say that we should hang out sometime soon since I didn't get to see you. I Skyped my dad and told him to leave some good feedback about the guitars.
They work great!!!!

See you soon I hope!!! :)

ČAU ČAU
Regina.}}
====Chris totally hates Gregg Mays====
{{EmailReply|I apologize for not replying sooner.

Listen, this "Gregg" you met up with is an Enemy of mine; he is NOT to be trusted. He is an internet [[Troll]]/Bully. In fact, that is not his real name; he goes by "Gregg Mays" or "Clyde Cash", but niether one of them are his real name. You bought the two guitars from a crook, a fiend. I felt shocked when you mentioned his name in your last e-mail; I was hoping to avoid having to talk about that son of a bitch.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

[[Chris and his ego|I had to be fated to become internet famous]]...

Anyway, I will still be happy to meet up with you and hang out. Perhaps we can hang out at the [[Fashion Square Mall]]. Let me know which day would be good for you.

Also, I would like you to get in touch with my [[gal-pal]] I've told you a bit about earlier; she will be introducing herself in an e-mail soon; her address is [REDACTED]. That way, you'll get to know one of my friends as well. :)

BTW, I've relisted the two guitars on eBay; it was wierd to get the positive feedback after you've bought the guitars from Someone Else (who happens to be a crook).

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Outrage====
{{Email|OH MY GOD I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!!!!

Not at you of course.

So this guy who sold me [[guitar]]s wasn't even a friend of yours? I'm not sure I fully understand this... so he came with two identical guitars and took the [[money]] that was supposed to go to you? I'm amazed. Have I go the story right? It's amazing how being on the internet can bring out so many stupid people!!! I am SOOOO SORRY. There was no way I could have known! Can you forgive me?

What about the feedback, should I tell my dad to leave it there? It doesn't seem honest but this guy has ripped you off. What do you think?

As far as hanging out goes, we will soon guaranteed. I have to head home to Prague this weekend cause [[Barb|my mom]] is sick. It doesn't seem too serious, but I should visit my family. It's good to see them when they are down you know? What sort of things do you want to do? Good news is I have my own laptop now, so I can email more frequently. Email me lots over the weekend cause I may be pretty bored in Prague. I'm kind of excited though because I will be going to see family in Liberec and I get to RIDE THE TRAIN!!!

I would love to talk to your friend!!! I am trying to meet as many new people as possible. It can get lonely being a foreigner here and I want to practice my [[English]] too! What's a [[gal-pal]]?

I attached another photo from my [[graduation]]. It's of me and my two bestest teachers. Do you have any favourite lektors from school or university?

How's your mom? And how is the job hunt? I've been trying to find some work recently too.

Ok, study break is over. Back to the work.

ČAU MOJ!!
Regina.}}
====Absence====
{{Email|Haven't heard from you in a while. You aren't angry with me are you?

I finally took a peek at your [[YouTube]] account. There's a lot of [[Chris and anger|angry videos]] on there. What is happening? Should I be worried about [[Clyde Cash|this Gregg person]]?

What should I do?

Regina}}
====We cool====
{{EmailReply|Hey, Regina. No, I am not angry with you; we are cool.

As long as you ignore him and don't communicate further with Gregg, don't worry. BTW, since you've met "Gregg" in person, can you describe what he looks likes; height, body build, [[Heterochromia|eye color]], skin, hair color/style and such?

Don't worry about the whole mess; it's MY mess, and I am and will deal with it personally.

And don't worry about the Guitar deal; I've relisted them on [[eBay]]; it's all cool.

How is your mother; I hope she's doing better? And let's try to re-schedule our meet and greet hang-out; do you know where Fashion Square Shopping Center is?

TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====The many faces of Gregg====
{{Email|Hey there.

Sure I can describe Gregg. He's a kind of square shouldered guy. He's [[black]]. He's around 190 cm and he had some [[51 50|pretty big biceps]]. He had pretty short [[hair]] too. I am not really good at telling black people apart to be honest. I've been getting some weird emails too. Do you think they may be from him?

My mom is doing better. Thank you for asking. Though she is still pretty weak. They aren't sure why. They want to do more tests.

I've heard about the [[Fashion Square Mall]], why do you ask? I have yet to go there.

I've read a bit from your Sonichu site. I'm not sure I totally understand it.

Čauko!

Regina}}
====Chris explains YouTube madness====
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your description.

I've asked about Fashion Square, because I go there often, and it would be an ideal place to meet up. I'm free any afternoon; just let me know the day and time, and we can try to meet up again. :)

As for the wierd e-mails, make note of the sender e-mail addresses, block them, and delete any future wierd e-mails without reading them. You can pretty much tell in the subject line anyway.

Also, for the recently uploaded videos on YouTube; they were directed to my [[trolls]], including the crazy-acting [[Sign Destruction Video|one where I break that hunk of wood]] (I was trying to scare them away with that one), please do not judge me from those. Although they do emphasize my dramatic side.

I'll TTYL,

Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Insane people in malls====
{{Email|Yo, wassup?

Yeah, I'm not a really big fan of American malls. I seem to meet so many weird people in them. Usually some people shouting and being weird. I keep seeing all kinds of [[Attraction Sign|strange things]] in malls.

How about this: I finally got an apartment hookup through my friend. She found a great place near the University. I haven't seen it yet but I am totally trusting of her. We are going to take possession around the middle of [[November 2010|November]]. We are SOOOO having a house party. Are you down? We are going to get WASTED and break the house in proper.

I'll block the emails. Just like you recommended. What are trolls anyway? I always thought they were some ugly things from children's stories that ate goats. I'm kind of getting the sense from what I have read that they are some sort of internet haters or something. What exactly do they want with you?

The videos are pretty interesting. I thought [[War Paint Video|the Indian one]] was cute :) but I don't really understand it. Tell me more about your dramatic side!

I totally talked to your friend! She seems really cool. How did you meet her? Is she like your girlfriend or something? I love meeting new people. It gets so hard being a foreigner here when everything is weird.

Back to studying!!!!!

Těší mě!!!

Regina.}}

====Chris believes the trolls are jealous of him====
{{EmailReply|Firstly, [[Kim]] is not my girlfriend; she already has a boyfriend; she and i are just friends. I met her through an old friend of mine.

The house party sounds like fun. :) I am down with that. But I would still like to meet you in person ASAP. How about this, since you don't like the mall, and I recall you telling me you liked the taco place, how about we meet at a [[Taco Bell]]? There are two in [[Charlottesville]]; one nearby the Barracks Road Shopping Center, and one nearby the Albemarle Square, where the ACAC Fitness Center<ref>[http://cville.acac.com/]</ref> is located. Just let me know which day you will be free, and I can meet you at one of the two Taco Bells (We'll need to specify which one beforehand) that afternoon.

In this case, Trolls are Internet Bullies; they pick on people for the "LULZ" (or "[[Laughs Under Lucricities|Laughs Under Lucridicities]]" as I put it); Laughs at other people's expense. They try to trick, or hack, the victim or their associates to gather dirt and information on them, and twist and turn the truth around and make terrible, slanderous jokes at their expense. Mostly, they pick on celebrities; I do not really understand why me of all people. But they are just lowly individuals who most likely hang out practically 24/7 in their basements in front of their computers. The only theory I have is that they're jealous of me and my creative ideas and comics.

Anyway, I gtg; I have a few things to do right now, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Philosophy reading====
{{Email|Hello!!! :)

Well, the thing is, I want to meet you too. But right now this philosophy at university is driving me mad!!! I have so much reading to do I am spending all my time in classes or at home with my nose in a book. I figure once I can get the bulk of my reading under control, I am totally yours to meet. I'll guarantee we can meet before the housewarming party, but not at this exact moment.

Not unless you can explain my philosophy readings to me :D Why does it need to be ASAP?

I am really not a fan of fast food, maybe we can go to [[Chris's Big Night Out|a nightclub or bar or something]]... do you know any good ones??

So I think I understand the whole trolls thing. I read a bit of your bio on that cogsdev thing you sent me. It seems like a pretty confusing story. It sounds pretty tragic too.

Anyway, in the meantime, until we meet that it, can I keep sending you emails to keep my English up to date? Although she speaks perfect English, my Aunt only wants to speak Czech all the time... All my readings are in English but I keep getting worried my social English will go out the window. Can I ask you some questions before we meet?

Pusinky :*
Regina.}}
''Pusinky'' means "dolls."
====The sooner the better====
{{EmailReply|It's cool; we can meet up at the Baja Bean across from [[Wal-Mart]]; they have a bar there, and they do check for ID, but it is smoke-free and clean. Plus, they have Karaoke Friday Nights there at 9:00. It doesn't have to be ASAP, but the sooner the better, I feel. And of course you may ask me as many questions as you please, and I can think of some in response to those as well. :) I continue to look forward to our meet and greet.

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Questions about America====
{{Email|Hey!!!

Ok, cool. I like to ask foreigners a lot of questions. Because this is the first time I have lived in [[America]], so there are so many things I am curious about...

Ok, so check this out. I saw [[War Paint Video|your video where you are dressed up like an Indian]]. Do they still live on reservations and stuff? I haven't met anyone who is an Indian (at least not that I know of) and no one seems to really know that much about them. Do you? You said you had some ancestry, so I was just curious. Do you follow any traditions? The only things I know about Indians are from the Winnetou books and movies and I'm not sure how accurate they are.

Oh hey, do you have any more books to recommend other than [[Goosebumps|those RL Stien books]]? My brother is looking for some good books and those ones aren't available in the Czech republic. He needs to read more because his English sucks almost as much as my dad's.

I went through some of your comics. Pretty interesting. Where did you learn to draw? I have been reading books on how to draw but can't seem to get anything right. I read a lot of theory books like from Marvel and stuff but I never seem to improve. I would take lessons but that will have to wait until University is over.

Ok, and a couple of American things that really get me confused...

The first is [[halloween]]. Everyone seems to make a big deal of it. I don't get it. We don't have it in the Czech republic but everyone knows what it is. But what's the big deal anyway? A lot of people have invited me to parties. Are you going to a party? I don't understand how this thing for kids to get candy has turned into adults dressing up for parties.

Also, politics. People really seem to ramble about politics a lot. I think I kind of get the sense of what the parties are about. Who do you vote for? I hope that's not too personal a question. And a lot of people seemed to hate [[George Bush]]. Why didn't they like him so much? And now a lot of people don't like [[Obama]]. Why don't people like him? ARRRRGH, I'm so confused. And what's with all these conspiracies... ABOUT BOTH.

Oh hey, on a by the way sort of note... My dad's is starting up this new media company and he needs writer/editor type people with HTML skills for a website. I read on your site that you know a bit about that. They are having trouble finding skilled people to fill the position. Would you be interested in the email address or are you too busy with freelance work? I don't know anything about how much it pays but my dad said just refer (he told me to ask anyone I knew) people to his HR manager and they would happily answer questions. I still feel bad about the guitar thing and hoped this would make it up to you.

Gaaah! I need to get back to all this philosophy reading. All these books make me think about our place in the world. Do you think there is a grand design or something? Do you have a personal philosophy? After reading all this, I don't know what to believe...

Ask me some questions so I can procrastinate in these readings LOL!!!

Ok. Back to work.

Čau moj!
Regina}}
====Wikipedia: The answer to everything====
{{EmailReply|Cool. Well, in order to your questions; firstly, I am 1/32 [[Cherokee]]. I do not currently live on a reservation, yet I think a lot of us Native Americans do live on Reservations. The proper term is not Indian (that term was misconstruded when Christopher Colombus landed at what would later be called America, and he thought it was India (his originally planned destination) and he referred to the people as people of India by mistake; the proper term is Native American. I currently do not know of any traditions to follow of my Cherokee ancestry, but information on "Cherokee" can be looked up on Wikipedia.

The only other books I can remember having read, off the top of my head, is "To Kill a Mockingbird", "Wednesday's Child" and "The Giver". The authors escape me, but again, check on Wikipedia.

My drawing style, I would say is mostly natural, but I have learned about perspectives and such from Numerous Art Classes I took throughout my lifetime in all my schools I went to. I can shed some light on perspectives for you and help you practice drawing in the future. :) Do you have any samples of your drawing style you'd like to share with me? I can critique it and offer you honest, detailed feedback that can help you as well.

Halloween History can be looked up on Wikipedia, but the costumed portions, from what I've heard, started in these United States in Salem with Witches, spooks and the like. As portrayed in [[Wikipedia:Treehouse of Horror VIII|a "Treehouse of Horror" episode]] of "[[The Simpsons]]", one theory states that some of those witches wanted children for one of their brews or something, so they went house-to-house. But instead of taking the children, they were offered cookies, candies and treats, and the witches accepted those instead. And eventually, the trend of Trick or Treat and costumed people going house-to-house followed for a Halloween tradition. Adults like to dress up to get into the spirit, and parties are a given as such for fun and enjoyment. I know of a halloween party I plan on going to nearby the Downtown [[Mall]]; if we meet soon enough, I would like to invite you to come with me there. :) If you came with me, what would you dress up as? And I encourage your own personal creativity. As a suggestion, if you still have your prom dress, all you would need are a pair of clear transparent slippers and a tiara, and you come as Cinderella.

I am not all that into politics, but I do know some things from ear (Bush and Obama and why people dislike them can be found on the Wikipedia also). You may be talking about George Bush JUNIOR that people have disliked; I don't know much of why. As for Obama, people are disliking him, because he supposedly is being a wuss and has pulled back some of the US Armed Forces from other countries. And currently, his Health Plan; to my understanding, it would just be a costly thing that Americans are not ready for yet, because we can't afford it yet, due to the recent recession (which didn't seem like that big of a deal in my opinion; I just lived on day by day, and I'm still okay). And there's the deal with another country concealing a nuclear facility from him; they don't want to give a tour, and they're saying it's there for "Peace Reasons". Obama's trying to get other countries' support to make this country show him their facility. That's what I know right now. I recommend learning what you can in research to help settle your confusion more if you feel the need.

Also, as for voting, in current events, my main concern is on the [[Wikipedia:Governor of Virginia| Governer of Virginia]]; [[Wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnel]] or [[Wikipedia:Creigh Deeds|Craig Deeds]]. There are tales of McDonnel wanting to take Virginia backwards, in a sense, by supporting a law created by Bush Jr. (I think). And McDonnel is Against Abortion Rights, and he would make it illegal, even in incest or rape, and for married couples, to have the choice. On the other hand, Craig supports higher taxes for gas, housing and such. Currently, Craig is ahead, but my father and I both feel that Neither McDonnel or Craig are good; they're both poor choices. We're even thinking on Election Day to Write in [[Peanuts|Snoopy (Charlie Brown's dog)]] instead of voting for McDonnel or Craig. LOL

I do have good knowledge of raw HTML, and I created the Most Original [[CWC's Sonichu Site]], as well as its predecessor, [[CWC's PokeSite 2]], from raw HTML text in Notepad. I have had two classes; one during [[High School]] and one later at [[PVCC]]. I would need more information on your dad's company, and the web server that is set up for his company, but I am up for that. ;)

Personal philosophy, I'm not sure; I have thought about it before, but it escapes me at the moment. I promise to recall, remember it and get back to you on that.

Also, for bars I've been to, I've also been to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebees]] (the one by [[Toys]] 'R' Us; they have Karaokee Mondays), the [[Wikipedia:T.G.I. Friday's|TGIFridays]] by [[Target]], and Club R2 (A.K.A. the Rapture) in the Downtown Mall (I don't know much about R2, but they do print their events in [[Charlottesville]]'s "[[The Hook]]" weekly newsletter magazine (it's Free). Have you been to any yourself yet, and if so which ones?

I'll think up some more questions for you by the next e-mail.

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Regina is just full of questions====
{{Email|Word up yo...

Ok, thanks for telling me about the whole Indian/Native American thing. No one corrected me on that yet and I have been saying it all along. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I guess it is hard to preserve traditions like that. I guess most of it was verbal history too.

I don't think I will offer up any drawings for critique just yet. I am not sure they are good enough. Maybe I will, but I will have to find them first. Like a lot of my personal photos they are strewed around on a whole variety of different CDs. I'll look, but no promises.

Ok, so I think I get the whole deal behind halloween parties. I guess it just makes sense to have an excuse to dress up crazy and go out to have fun. The halloween party you mentioned sounds like fun, can you tell me more about it? I would go, but I think I will have to fly back to the Czech republic cause my mom is still sick. My dress is there anyway, it was too much to pack. Surely you must know some nice lady you can take there? What are you dressing up as? That's what I'm really curious about. And why are you choosing this costume... oh, please take photos of your costume if I don't get to see it.

Thank you for clearing that bit up about politics. Can you explain to me, if you don't like these two men, why you would write a cartoon character's name? Are these the only two men? Is there really no other people? That sounds a little bizarre to hae only two people to choose from. I guess no one else wanted the position? The way you put it, [[Obama]] does sound like kind of a wuss. Do you think he is right to pull back the armies from these arab countries? I read the Wikipedia article on [[George W. Bush|George Bush Junior]]. It seems that people don't like him because of [[Niggos|immigrants]] or something. And he doesn't seem to care about the environment and people seem to think he allows torture. And mostly the wars he started too... how reliable is this Wikipedia? Are these things really so bad? Good luck with choosing the governor.

Ok, I don't know the details about HTML and things. [[Computers]] are not my specialty. My dad told me to find anybody interested and forward them on to him. His email is [REDACTED] so it is probably best just to contact him. He may get his assistant to write back, because, well, you have read his English already. If he does reply on his own, go easy on him, k? :) You have some pretty good chances of getting the job cause they are having a really hard time getting a pool of applicants. They really want an [[English]] speaker, but no one seems to want to work for a Czech company.

I have been to a few bars, but I forget the names of most of the places. I think I went to some bar called [[Vivian]]'s or some place next to it or something. I really need to start remembering the names of all these places. A couple of discos too. I will pick up a copy of The Hook and look for these events you suggest.

Here's another few questions I thought of. Have you ever thought about doing comic plots for different characters? Like maybe doing a spinoff for one of your current characters or designing a new set of characters with a new story? Or are you just sticking to your current universe? And why/why not? My brother used to read a lot of comics so he may ask me about your mentality or whatever the next time I see him.

Hey also, we were talking about philosophy, that's cool if [[Slow-in-the-mind|you don't remember]] your personal views. I guess it isn't something the average person thinks about every day. What about your future? What do you see in your future? I am always curious about this with everybody. I see myself being like my father or brother and starting my own business, but some different kind of business. Not like the traditional kind. I just don't know what yet. What about you? What kinds of things would you like to do? Maybe in ten years or when you retire? Or next year, whatever...

Anyway, back to the books!

Papá!!
Regina}}
====Chris babbles about costumes, politics, and dreams====
{{EmailReply|It's cool; I look forward to any drawings you are able to share with me. :)

The Halloween party I'm planning on going to is on Saturday October 31 at the Key Center, 800 E. Market St,<ref>[http://www.thekeycenter.info/]</ref> at 7 - 9 PM; $3 per person, $5 per couple; I will pay our way in if you decide to come with me. I thought I've mentioned that I currently have a few gal-pals (who are already taken), but no girlfriend for myself yet (I'm single). So, other than you, I do not have anyone else I could take. I'm going to go in this outfit I sometimes wore before to the [[Pokemon]] [[Trading Card Game]] League I used to attend that made me look like Ash Ketchum. I thought of making up an outfit to go as Captain N, from that classic Nintendo TV Show, "[[Wikipedia:Captain N: The Game Master|Captain N, the Game Master]]", but it's hard for me to find a matching jacket at Goodwill, even an "N" to stitch onto the jacket. I'll send you a photo in the next e-mail.

I'm sorry to hear your mother is still ill; please offer her my humble condolences and wishes for full recovery. :)

The wikipedia is most reliable; the people who post on there most of the time quote their sources; books, newspapers, other websites, etc.

[[Wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|McDonnel]] and [[Wikipedia:Creigh Deeds|Deeds]] are the only two candidates for VA Governer at this time, and with both of them being [[Slow-in-the-minds|not so swift]] candidates, it just seems fitting to write-in the fictional character as a comical alternative. My father brought up the idea of writing Snoopy in first, and I was hip to the idea, because it made me laugh. :D As for why, McDonnel is Against [[Women's rights|Abortion Rights]], and Deeds would Raise Taxes; it's like one would [[Retard]]ate [[Virginia]], and one would Make Things [[Chris and money|MORE Expensive]].

As for Obama, I would have to agree with popular opinion on the issue of him pulling back our troops; I feel what he did there was like saying, "We're not worthy; please do with us as you wish, and we will offer no resistance." Pitiful.

I will respect and understand your father's english capabilities and wording at my best. :)

I do not plan on any spin-offs for [[Sonichu (comic)|my comic series]]; there are a LOT of characters and such, and I feel it would be more complicated and difficult to do such at this time. But in future pages, I do plan on expanding on each individual character with their individual stories and adventures. I have all my ideas written in my Brain's [[Diary]].

As for where I see myself, I am uncertain career-wise, but [[Dreams|I HAVE A DREAM]]! And that dream is to find the woman to make my Sweetheart from honest, true friendship, make her my wife, and from us, have a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. I've had a number of dreams where I take care of and tend to the needs of my baby, Crystal. And from all those dreams, I knew they were God's wishes for my future.

Alternatively, if I have a boy as well, I would name him [[Reginald]]; that was not a dream-thing though. I've had a [[PandaHalo|past internet gal-pal]], who would have likely become my girlfriend after she got here from her native land of Australia after finishing College there with a Teacher Degree. We role-played a family day with the children, and she chose the name of Reginald for the boy-child. She died [[January 2009|last Janurary]] during the wild bushfires then. Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.

I have a lot of stories I would be happy to share with you in-person in conversations in the future. It feels easier to me to talk about it in-person, in lieu to typing it up.

Which brings up a topic I'm curious about, please tell me about any past relationships you've had; ex-boyfriends, any sex, etc. If you feel uncomfortable talking about it, I understand.

Cool, I will TTYL,

Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,

Cau,

Chris. :)}}

====Regina can't make it====
{{Email|Hey there!

Well, thank you for the offer for the halloween party, but I will definitely be flying to Praha on that day. So there is no possible way for me to make it. Can't wait to see the photos of the Ash outfit you mentioned. I think I know the character you are talking about. I am sure I will recognise it when I see it. I don't know who Captain N is. I will check Wikipedia or something. Sorry, didn't mean to confuse your gal-pals for girlfriends. I just figured you were involved with someone. If not on a full relationship yet. Just a sense I got from your YouTube videos. I saw one where you were talking to a girl named [[Kacey|Kacy]] where you said you cared about her. Sorry for the confusion. I seem to have taken these videos out of context. Is there an explanation?

It's too bad you have such poor choices for governor or whatever. Higher taxes aren't such a bad thing though are they? They help pay for important stuff. I agree they shouldn't be too high. How much more will you have to pay if he gets elected? What happens if everyone writes [[Peanuts|Snoopy]] on the ballot? Would he have to take office?

When you put it that way about Obama, it does sound pitiful. If that's the case, why do so many people like him? And why do you think he should have stayed in Iraq? Are you a [[Twin Falling Towers|very patriotic person]]? I am very proud of being Czech, especially of my language.

You certainly seem like you have your future planned out in full. I wish I knew my future as well as you do! For now, I just want to EXCEL. I want to make the best of myself in whatever I do. I have had to bust my ass while studying. Everyone goes out and parties but I don't stop till I get it right. And boy do my marks show it. I want to be the BEST. Not sure what I have to prove. Just want to be all I can be. Maybe once I do that, I can relax for a bit. My own business is my clearest goal, even though I'm not sure what the business will be about. Do you ever have ambitions like this?

I am really sorry to hear about your friend. She must have been very special to you.

Since you mentioned Snoopy, I was just curious. What are your favourite cartoons? Do you prefer [[South Park|Western]] or [[Anime|Eastern]]? What do you like about them? I personally like Russian cartoons.

I was also watching [[Brutal Legend Plus|your video about Brutal Legend]]. I heard about that game. Is it good??? It sure looks good! Do you like metal music? Is that why you got this? I think you probably explained this in your video but there is no sound. Did YouTube screw it up?

Here's a weird question I love asking people... If you could have any superpower, what would it be? What would you do with it. The best answer I ever got was from my friend. She wanted the ability to fart in stereo LOLOLOL!!! I guess that means she would have two buttholes.

Also, what's up with American trains? European trains are way cooler. Do you use the train much?

We totally will share in person as soon as I have the time. I just want to get to know you in the meantime is all. I can be initially shy in a first meeting so it helps if I know what I can talk about.

Did you email my dad? He says he didn't get anything from you yet. Sometimes these Czech emails can be pretty screwball. If it isn't working, I'll give you his Gmail.

Nope, never had a boyfriend.

Na zdravie, šťastie a lásku,
Regina :)}}

''Czech for "health, happiness and love."''

====Chris answers a bunch of questions, is still a virgin====
{{EmailReply|Yes, [[Kacey]] is one of my gal-pals; nothing major at the time. She already cares for [[Liquid Chris|this other dude]]. I do care about her as a friend though. :) I am the sort of man who keeps his friends close to his heart and cares about them.

The only [[Honest Content|True-from-My-Heart-and-Mind Videos]] are on my own personal [[YouTube]] accounts, my current "ChristianWChandler" and my past "CChan6789". MOST others outside of my accounts will be slandered, misleading videos created by the Trolls, in lame attempts to mislable me, as well as smearing my good name and reputation.

I've attached an early picture of me in my ol' outfit (0647); ignore the wastepouch; I have not worn one in years. And I generally wore this yellow Pokemon TCG League Gym Leader shirt to Best complete the outfit (0584).

These photos are from my slideshow of life photos/pics I presented in a [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]] I created on my 25th [[Birthday]], February 24, [[2007]], called "Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm on T.V." Originally, it was priviately distributed from me to close friends and family. But last year, a [[troll]] pretended to be one of my old, close [[gal-pal]] and tricked a copy out of me; now it's all over the web, with messed-up versions of the original videos, and people making and distributing FAKE copies. DO NOT BUY any of those, as well as the unofficial Sonichu/Rosechu merchandise; there aren't any at this time, but I am working on that. After you and I become real close, I would be happy to make a copy for you, or I can share my Master Copy with you in a multiple number of "Movie Nights"; there is over 6 hours of original content.

Please do not judge me, but yeah I have yet to expierence a major relationship. But I do have a good amount of knowledge to make up a good relationship, as well as good sex. I have seen a good share of soft and hardcore porn, including some Educational videos from companies like the Sinclair Institute. But again, there is no rush. Which brings up a question, how do you feel about sex before marriage, or sex in general?

I feel that higher taxes is the better of the two evils in the governer issues, so I'll probably root for Deeds anyway. I wouldn't worry about Snoopy.

Obama stay in Iraq? You may have misunderstood a phrasing in my last e-mail; I never meant that in any way. I am proud to be an american; I am patriotic. I can go on about the history of these [[United States]] and how our forefathers, who founded it and shaped it to what it is today, worked and fought to maintain order and peace throughout this fine nation. [[Bob|My father]] could go on about that as well; he is very knowledgeable in the history. And I welcome and respect your patriotism for your country as well; you have every right as you were born and raised in it. :)

I have had ambitions for [[Wendy's|a job]] or [[Cutco|business]], even though it was not made clear to me on what it would be specifically; I'm still uncertain currently. What are your ideas for the business subject you'd like to pursue? My mother originally wanted to be a teacher, and she has had past expierence in substituting for the teacher in their absence from time to time. Yet she ended up taking a number of secretarial jobs in a number of companies and businesses.

I have a LOT of favorited cartoons; (anything) [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Sailor Moon]], [[Transformers]] (any Generation), [[Excel Saga]], [[Samurai Pizza Cats]], Smurfs, [[Gay|Care Bears]], and more. I'm not sure what you mean by Western or Eastern, unless you mean American and Japan ([[Anime]]) Animation. I like Anime a bit better, because it is mostly [[Chris and art|better drawn and rendered]] compared to American, plus the stories are usually better, and sometimes the original Japanese Audio, even in the TV-Y area, has some curse words. LOL :D I have also watched Canadian Animation; those were good, and British Animation ("[[Wikipedia:Danger Mouse (TV series)|
Danger Mouse]]" to name one). I don't think I've ever watched Russian Animation, but I am always open for new shows. :)

Yeah, I am uncertain [[PSEye|what happened to the audio in the original video I did for Brutal Legend]]. I like all kinds of [[Chris and music|music]], unless it's presented at a TOO Loud volume; respect the eardrums. LOL Metal is awesome, but I mostly listen to Pop, Lite Rock, Country, Jazz and Classic.

I would have to say Super Speed; [[Sonichu's Edge|I wouldn't easily tire out after running at such velocity]], I'd get a lot more exercise, and I wouldn't require [[Son-Chu|a car]] if I can get there in a Snap on foot. :D

I have never ridden on a train, I'm sorry.

You can talk about most anything to me, no worries. And if you cross a line, I will let you know; I would respect your wishes if I cross a line in discussion, you'd only need to tell me.

I've just e-mailed Walter, asking for the information. I am certain he got the message, because I would have gotten a "Returned Message" e-mail if the address was faulty.

I'm sorry you can't make the Halloween Party, but it's cool; I'll be okay. :) I am looking forward to your house-warming party; please let me know if I can do or bring anything to help make it better. Please be sure to let me know the details when you are fully certain of them; when and where.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Cau,
Chris.}}
====Regina is asexual, asks about loads of random stuff====
{{Email|Yo yo yo wass happenin'

That is too bad that Kacey cares for another dude, it wasn't some sort of tragic love triangle was it? I feel really sorry for you if it was. It is good that you can look past it and see her as a friend still.

It would be cool to see your DVD. I didn't know you were a filmmaker too! What kind of films do you make? What is your DVD about? It sounds interesting. I love director's cuts. Do you have a big screen? I hate watching movies on small TVs. I am sorry to hear that people are pirating it. It really sucks when people [[Sonichu|steal other people's intellectual property]] like that.

[[Chris and religion|Sex before marriage is of no concern to me.]] [[Homos|People can do whatever they want in the privacy of their homes.]] [[Third date|Sex in general seems]] [[Chris and sex|like a waste of time in my opinion.]] [[Homos|But like I said, they can do what they want.]] [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|I have never watched a porno.]]

Speaking of other countries and patriotism, how much do you know about the Czech republic? I am always curious what people know about my country, or Europe. Have you been to Europe? Is there any place you would like to visit in Europe? We have so many nice things to see. Or maybe you would prefer a different continent? Speaking of Czech, I totally tried to bring back some Slivovica for your dad. But they took it at customs. I will try to bring another. If it doesn't work this time I will get my brother to bring some when he comes to visit me in November.

As far as the business model I would like to pursue, I want to maybe open a restaurant that features all kinds of Slavic and foods from my part of the world, OR something related to fashion. I think the fashion industry is boring, I would like to introduce something new but I have no really good ideas just yet. Have you thought about any general areas? I know you said you weren't sure, but I mean generally.

What kind of Canadian cartoons have you watched? Or British ones other than Danger Mouse?

Glad to hear you like metal. I like quite a bit of it. Among other stuff. Mostly indie.

Hey do you play any sports? I love sports. I have just been getting into American Football. It seems pretty complicated. I haven't decided if I like it or not yet. It seems interesting anyway. I heard a lot of American men have played football in high school, did you by any chance?

Here's a question I keep hearing a lot in America: If you could have a dinner party and invite 3 people... anyone you want... living or dead... who would it be? Myself, I picked Vaclav Havel, Robo Kazik, [[Homos|Ernest Hemingway]] and [[Michael Snyder|Golda Meir]]. I know that's 4... yes I cheated. And you?

Do you own a gun? It seems like a lot of people here do. I'm not judging on it or anything, I'm just curious. A lot of people seem to have them. Would you ever buy one? I never thought about it myself, but one of my friends suggest I come out with her to the shooting range.

Oh, and my brother was a bit curious about your artistic process, what goes through the head of an artist when he is thinking of what to draw?

My dad got your email by the way, he let me know today that he received it. He says he is going to have his assistant look it over the start of the business day. He was really excited about the prospect of hiring an American at his company.

Glad you are looking forward to the house-warming party. It is going to RULE!!!!! I can't wait. As for what to bring... I dunno, what do Americans usually bring to parties? We do need to get some [[alcohol]]. Would you mind picking it up? It's just that most of us are under 21. If you are worried about it say no. I love America but it has some pretty [[Zapina|dumb laws]].

Anyway, back to the books... again :(

Have fun talking to my dad or his assistant :)

Mám rád zozadu,
Regina}}
====Chris wants sex, played football with girls====
{{EmailReply|I wouldn't really call myself a filmmaker, but I have created some documentry-like films that are on the DVD and saved as video files on my [[PS3]], along with the newer videos I created since then. In a nutshell, the DVD is essentially the videos I put together, the two TV News Segments I was portrayed in, and slideshows of still photos and pics with good tunes and a pretend Radio Show I created onto Audio Cassette over a decade ago. It's more or less sort of a "Best Of" type of thing. I have a Sony HD TV, about 40 or 46" wide.

In my humble opinion, I am okay with sex before marriage too. I do not feel that it is a waste of time; I feel the intercourse between loving couples who deeply care about each other is truly special, and is essentially a truly magical connection between them. Although as for those who may not feel like that during intercourse, they still get sensations that just feel totally awesome between each other.

I have not been to Europe, and I can learn more about the Czech Republic from your point of view in addition to what you've previously shared with me. :) I do not currently have a favorite location in Europe, but if I had the chance, I would enjoy visiting the other countries. Although, I would like to visit England and Japan; England being the origin of [[Barb|my mother]]'s half of the family, and I'd like to sample more of the video games only available in Japan, and see their technology that the US doesn't have yet. IDK about [[Bob|my father]] being able to take in any [[alcohol]] at his age, but I know he would appreciate the gesture, and I can get a chance to sample the slivovich for myself with you. :)

You have made some good choices in your possible carrer pursuit. :) Perhaps you and I can put our minds together and make either one happen for you. As for me, something in [[Art]]istry or Comic Publications is one idea of mine, or maybe use my [[CADD]] degree and go into designing or something.

One Canadian cartoon I can recall the name of right-off is [[Wikipedia:Bob and Margaret|Bob and Margaret]], and there was this one of two short cartoons that featured this blue dog who gets adopted into a family who is danger prone with lots of accidents; the dog protects his family and the baby.

I like [[Bionic|Basketball]], Volleyball and Baseball, and I have ice skated at the rink at the Downtown Mall. I've played football for a short while at High School, but I was not all that into it. And during that time in the P.E. class, I was placed on special request on the girl's team, which was better; I did not care to be tackled or rough-housed like they did on the boy's team. Football is okay; I'm just not all that into it.

I would invite [[Britney Spears]], [[Wikipedia:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]] and [[Wikipedia:Amy Jo Johnson|Amy Jo Johnson]] (the original Pink Ranger on the "Mighty Morphin' [[Power Rangers]]"). For my fourth, though, I would invite [[Vanessa Hudgens]].

I do not currently own a real gun, but I have had target practice in video games like "Duck Hunt" (NES) and on a few Wii games too; I'm fairly good. I may consider buying a gun, but not right now.

My artistic process... I think of story pieces, I note them, and when I draw them up, I add more to them; beginning and end (or middle and either if the piece is beginning or end). There are more details, but I'm not sure how to phrase them at this time. But mostly, it just comes to me. :)

I would be happy to bring some beer or wine to the party; just let me know which brand of beer (or white wine) strikes y'all's fancy good.

I gtg for now; [[ShowerClean|I need a shower.]] I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Regina confirms asexuality====
{{Email|Ok, sorry I guess I misunderstood what you meant by making a DVD. So this is like a series of short films and a collection of other stuff.

So you were on the news? How did you manage that? What were you on the news for?

Oh wow, you have a big TV. It must be pretty good for video games. I
have never had a TV that big.

Ok, maybe some people are into the whole [[sex]] thing. But personally I
have no interest. I think bothering with something like that would
distract me from other more important social relationships. More
importantly it would probably distract me from improving myself. That
energy could be put to good use for a lot of other things. And I
doubt it would really change much. If you care for a person then sex
shouldn't be so important. Just an option. A lot of people seem to
think that having sex will change things. I would bet a lot of money
that it doesn't.

That is too bad that your dad can't drink any Slivovica. I guess I
can still try to smuggle some in and you can try it. It is best to
try the original Czech stuff. They say Slivovica is good for your
health and helps you live longer. Europe really is the best place to
go. A lot of Americans came to Prague looking for adventure and they
always found it. I know a bunch of them who actually settled down in
the Czech republic and got married or started new careers.

Thanks for the input on my possible career choices. What have you
been doing in the way of starting your business related to artistry or
design? Oh, speaking of which, have you talked much to my dad? He
loves America but I hope he is not being a weirdo about it. Or maybe
you spoke to his assistant.

So what reasons do you have for inviting Britney Spears, Pamela
Anderson and Amy Jo Johnson to your dinner party? What is your
motivation for having them there? What kind of questions would you
ask them? Why only media personalities? I'm very intrigued and
curious.

So you might buy a [[gun]] in the future? What kind of gun do you think
you would buy? Would you be getting it for protection or sport? What
exactly do you think about gun control? Personally I don't care
either way. I have never owned one but my father is an avid hunter.
He was a sharpshooter when he did his military service.

I really don't know what kind of wine is good. Do you have any
recommendations? The girls need wine. I think most of the guys who
are coming will be bringing their own beer. I am responsible for
getting the girls drunk so I need someone to bring the white wine.

Very interesting info about your art process. Do you have a full
story arc planned and fill in little pieces or do you make them up as
you go along? What inspires you to draw these particular elements?
What kinds of symbols are you using in your art? I'm curious to see
what elements are symbolic of certain things I may not be catching. I
am not good at picking up on symbols when reading. Here's one thing I
was wondering, do your characters all have first, middle and last
names? Like is [[Sonichu]] just Sonichu or is he Mr. XXXXX XXXXX Sonichu. Or maybe Sonichu is his first name?

By the way I saw your video on Kacey. Everything you said was pretty
sweet but if you want to win her back you might want to just jump in
and tell her to come back to you. Girls love guys who can be strong
and tell them what they want. I bet if you are way more assertive
then she will see and admire that. It will probably make this other
guy [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit his pants]] with fear too. I hope I am not out of place saying
that, I just thought I would offer my womanly opinion. I hope it was
of some help.

Hope everything else is great. :)

Peace and love as you say... or mier a láska as we would say in my
language. Oh, and here's one thing I want to teach you too. You
should start conversations with na zdar. It is a really cheerful
Czech greeting. It means "I wish you well" and it sounds really cool.

Ty kokot,
Regina}}

====Chris weasels out of a job that is handed to him without reservation====

{{EmailReply|I have been busy with my Sonichu stuff and other things. I have recently found peace of mind with [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|the arrival of my Copyright Registeration Certificate from the VA Library of Congress for Sonichu]]. I am in work on making a presentation video and getting in touch with companies to make the merchandise and copies of my books and DVD.

Also, I apologize for not getting back to your father on the website job; I have thought a lot about it after reading the details his secretary e-mailed to me. I feel that is beyond my html skills, I apologize for that. But he can go onto websites like monster.com and find resumes for people who have exceptional html skills and such.

Please foward that paragraph and my humble apologies and regards to him for me; I have misplaced his address.

I have more e-mails to check, so I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}

====Regina tried to get it through his damn dirty skull====

{{Email|Hey Christian,

I think you may have misread the description. The HTML skills are
just something basic, to make sure that people are familiar with the
medium. They need someone to write articles. Specifically articles
about gaming and technology. They just increased the salary too
because they can't find anyone to do it. It's at the point where they
need someone pretty badly, if you have some specific time requirements
or whatever you can let them know, but they will be flexible with it.
Along the lines of 10 articles a month shouldn't be too difficult.
You really should talk to Marketa and my dad again [REDACTED]

Anyway, how is everything else? Good to hear about your [[copyright]].
How did things work out with [[Kacey|Kacee]]?

Later,
Regina.}}

====Chris mad====
{{EmailReply|Gaming and technology articles? I thought your father was working in Ceramics.

Kacey went and married the brown-striped impostor who pretended to be me; his YouTube name is [[CChanSonichuCWC]].}}

====Further attempts from Regina to offer a dream job====
{{Email|Wow, that really, really sucks. Some people have pretty bad judgment. Did she explain why? Don't be too upset, there are [[I Got A Fish|plenty of fish in the sea]].

Yes, my dad does make ceramics. But this is a NEW company. He is
trying to branch out into different areas to do with media and
technology because he is afraid that industrial products could one day
be all the domain of countries with poorer workforces. He wants to be
secure in the future and thinks getting into the tech industry is the
way to go. But they need someone who knows gaming and modern
technology AND is well spoken to kick off this first project. I guess
his assistant didn't explain it all too well.}}

Chris of course, ignored her. Proving that he couldn't care less about getting off the [[tugboat]].

====Regina resumes contact...====
{{Email|Anye new and fascinating news?

I bought a PSP. It is great for those stopovers on my flights to the
Czech Republic.}}

====And opens the floodgates of boring conversation====
{{EmailReply|That's neat; which model is it, because if it is a 2000, 3000 or [[PSP]] Go, you and I can talk to each other over Skype between our PSPs; ORIGINAL 1000 models are not [[Wikipedia:Skype|Skype]]-Capable.

Also, I have been busy with my Sonichu stuff; I've just drew 4 pages and answered a bunch of fanmail on the [[Cwcipedia]]. But I am safe and well, thank you. :)

What do you say to setting up a dinner-date between you and me one day next week? This time, I'll come and pick you up, and I'll bring you back home on time safe.

I'll TTYL, XOXOXO,
Christian.}}

====Regina dodges the would-be gropefest...====
{{Email|It is the PSP 3000 slim and bright or whatever it is called. I need to find some good games for it.

Glad to hear you are keeping busy. Me too. My studies are driving me
overboard. I think I will go nuts. I have had to reach out and help
my dad too since his new enterprise is going nowhere.

I really don't think a dinner date is a good idea given my total work
overload. Sorry to say it's email for now!

What else is new?}}

====And gets even more bored with answers to questions nobody asked====
{{EmailReply|One good place to look for a start is in the Playstation Store on the [[Playstation Network]]. This can be done on your [[PC]] or even on your [[PSP]]. If you haven't done so yet, you can create an account for yourself on your PSP, and download the most current version of MediaGo onto your PC from http://store.playstation.com. You can browse the store for downloadable games, demos and videos. Some content requires a one-time purchase; you may use your debit/credit card, or you may go to the local [[Best Buy]], Sam's Club or GameStop and buy some PSN Cards with increments of 10, 20 or 50 dollars. Should you decide to use a debit/credit card directly, be warned that there will be an additional dollar put on hold for a while to verify the card. Funds can be added under "Account Management" on your PSP, or on MediaGo, under "Transaction Management" then "Transfer Funds" There, you can add increments of 5, 10, 20, 50 or even the maximum limit of the grand total in the PSN wallet of 150. And if you don't have enough in the virtual wallet, you will be prompted to add the difference from your card at checkout. There are games Exclusively for Download Only from the Playstation Store, so feel free to read all the details for each title. They even have PSOne classics playable on both Playstation 3 and PSP.

I also highly reccomend investing in a 16 GB Memory Stick Pro Duo, which is available at [[Best Buy]] or [[Wal-Mart]], which at average is currently priced at around [[Chris and money|$100]].

And, of course, [[GameStop]] is a drive-to destination for reccomended PSP UMD titles, which works for you since you have a PSP with a UMD drive (versus the PSP Go which does not have a UMD drive).

I have been a loyal PSN account holder and customer since I bought my PS3 back in March, [[2007]].

But I digress. I am safe and well, thank you. :) I am still hanging with my family and working on [[Sonichu]]. BTW, I am currently looking for people to video-interview (to be uploaded onto my [[YouTube]]) for their views on Sonichu and expanding business-wise with merchandise and such. If you have some friends who know Sonichu from my [[Cwcipedia]], please ask them for me if they will volunteer their time. I would appreciate it very much. And your opinions count too, and if you are willing to volunteer yourself, I would appreciate that too.

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Christian.}}

====Regina tries to be helpful====
{{Email|Hey!

That's pretty interesting. I talked to a few friends and contacts who
knew about Sonichu (I never realised how widespread it was, I thought
it was a bit more underground) and I have come up with about 10 (maybe
more) people who are all very keen on being interviewed. How many
people are you willing to accept? How much knowledge of Sonichu do
they have to have and do they need a webcam or is audio enough? Will
you be doing these interviews over Skype? I don't think I will have
time for an interview myself but what should I tell all these
interested parties?

ČAU!!!!
Regina}}

====Chris promptly tries to get others to do the work for him====
{{EmailReply|Please reply right after you read this. I would prefer in-person interviews with each one with me and my digital camera. Perhaps we can setup the on-the-street interviews for Wednesday or Thursday; I have a deadline of Friday for the full video. I would like to meet at the Downtown Mall by the old fountain (next to the Paramount Theatere) at about 3:00 PM, but please let me know which day is more agreeable between all the volunteers. Thank you soo much, Regina.

If you can find some free time, I'll gladly accept a video MP4 file of you sharing your opinions and thoughts on Sonichu expanding into the merchandise and all. You can film it, upload the file onto a Upload Site Server, send me the link to the video, and I'll download it to be added into the final video.

I'll TTYL,
Cau,
Christian.}}
====Chris is afraid of a little rain====
{{EmailReply|Just to let you know, the filming will have to be on Thursday since it is raining today. As an alternative, your friends may film their opinions and views on Sonichu in Merchandise, upload their files onto an upload server site and send me the links (preferably all links through you to me, so all of the links can be in one message).

Thank you again for your help.
Stay Safe, Cau,
Christian.}}

====???====
{{Email|Ok, I think most, if not all, will have to use the alternative. I just got this message and the other one. Most of the people who want to be filmed don't live in your area, so coming to the mall is out of the question for them. SO you want them to just give their opinions or should I refer them to you to be interviewed via some online method?}}

====Chris still doesn't really give a shit if people aren't doing something for him====
{{EmailReply|I see, please let me know how many of them do live in the area. And please let those in other states know to make the videos of their opinions. I apologize for the inconvience, but their input will be most valued.

To change the subject a bit, are you planning on flying back to your family during the Holiday break? For me, it'll be another stay-at-home with my family thing for me; simple and good.

TTYL,
Cau,
Christian.}}

====Some helpful advice that promptly gets ignored====
{{Email|Hey!

If I could make a bit of a recommendation, companies being pitched a
new product like to be shown the potential for expansion outside the
original fanbase. You should make a large survey of people who are
not familiar with Sonichu so that you can demonstrate how it can be
put into new households. They know that your current fans will buy it
but they need to be shown that it can pick up new buyers. Basic rule
of industry is that if you can't expand, then you should abandon the
project for something that will, otherwise it won't make money.

You should start polling strangers about Sonichu and offer them
something for their time, like a cookie or whatever.

See you later!
Regina}}

''End of contact.''
==References==
<references/>

[[Category:E-mails]]
{{emails}}

Lovely Weather

2012-04-07T13:56:22Z

BlueberryRagamuffin:

{{Quote|
<poem>"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling, too
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you,
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you."</poem>
|Sleigh Ride<ref>[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/christmas_songs_lyrics_10575/other_lyrics_33314/sleigh_ride_lyrics_360899.html "Sleigh Ride" Lyrics]</ref>}}

[[Image:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg|thumb|Note the broad shoulders, the lack of hips, and how she's as tall as Chris...]]

'''Lovely Weather''' is [[Chris]]'s future wife, whom Chris traveled through the [[Time Void]] to [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|rape]], ''Revenge of the Nerds''-style. Although many of Chris's real-life [[sweethearts]] have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is as yet an entirely fictional creation, making Chris all the more pathetic.

Chris [[Mailbag 50#And in closing...|likes to sing]] "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather..." over and over. He thinks [[Random-access humor|this is clever]] because "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name! [[Chris and reality|Now it is.]] For the godless heathens among us who have never heard Christmas music before, the song is "Sleigh Ride", a holiday staple since the early 1950's.<ref>[[Wikipedia: Sleigh Ride]]</ref>

==Overview==
[[Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|thumb|150px|A sweetheart of the OPPOSITE GENDER.]]

Lovely Weather can be seen in the comic in her present-day form, where she looks like a [[Silvana|man in drag]]. Since Lovely Weather was a relatively new character in the ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic, with a first appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[fans]] had expected more [[Giant Penis Comic|"shenanigans"]] involving her in the future. The indefinite hiatus of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], however, makes this unlikely.

She stands as a bold statement of Christian's unrealistic expectations, as she has enormous jugs, wears a thong, enjoys very casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. In other words, his perfect woman appears to be a whore who's almost as retarded as he is.

Some speculate that her masculine proportions are a reference to Chris's desire for a sweetheart merely of the opposite ''gender''. ("Gender" is a psychological phenomenon, which leaves the field wide open for [[Mailbag 27|MTF transsexuals]].) As such, she could very well be a trans-woman. Others speculate that she has man shoulders because [[Chris and art|Chris can't draw.]]

Lovely and Chris are supposedly married by 2015. Considering the way things are going, it's doubtful he'll get married, or even [[Hanky panky|laid]], by then. We all know that the man is going to die a bachelor and a [[virgin with rage]].

In his [[CWCipedia]] page devoted to her, Chris denies that Lovely Weather is not [[The Wallflower]] as a pseudonym. Given his [[Lies|past record of honesty]], the claim is doubtful at best.

==Chris and time travel==
[[Image:CWCtothefuture.jpg|260px|thumb|left|What he didn't mention is that he went back to 1955 and made out with [[Barbara|his mother]].]]

Chris is a hormone-addled goofball, so it's not likely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. He simply sees the meeting with Lovely as a chance for his fictional avatar to get his rocks off. The implications that he has ignored are significant.

For instance, the comic book Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it - in fact, he takes time to set their "fated first date" before attacking [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent]]. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to decisions or result in events that will change the course of his life that produced that outcome. (Unless, of course, one subscribes to the belief that Chris's marriage with Lovely was foreordained, and his time travel jaunt was already one piece of the puzzle that lead to it.)

Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past-self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.

There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright rape, then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.

Listen closely, and you can hear H.G. Wells and William Hartnell spinning in their graves.

==Rape by deception?==
Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else. In the [[mailbag]]s, Chris explains that since she technically initiated the sex, [[Kacey Phone Call|despite being tricked about who it was]], it both wasn't rape and was morally right and just.

==Meg Griffin affair==

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only pages after traveling to the future and raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with Meg Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'' fame. Chris asks her if Seth has permitted her to turn eighteen yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_40 Chris and Meg]</ref> with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). [[Blanca|Once]] [[PandaHalo|again]], Chris cheats on his significant others, even completely fictional ones.

She later reveals herself to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[List of Chris's sweethearts]]
*[[Chris and Sex]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]]
*[[Chloe]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]][[Category:Sweethearts]][[Category:Characters]]

Asperchu

2012-03-24T01:53:56Z

BlueberryRagamuffin:

{{Articleofthenow}}
:''This article discusses the award-winning comic series '''''Asperchu''''' and its relationship with Chris. For information about the ''Asperchu'' series itself, please see [[Asperchu/Background]].''
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
! colspan="2" |[[File:Fatman supreme fatness.jpg|250px]] Christopher Paul Whitney
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Alec Benson Leary
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 1974/75
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| American
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
|}
'''''Asperchu''''' is a comic series created by Alec Benson Leary of [[Wikipedia:Eden Prairie, Minnesota|Eden Prairie, Minnesota]].<ref>[[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas]]</ref> His deft [[art]]work, [[Chris and writing|gripping stories, and excellent characterization]] has resulted in the series gaining hundreds of fans in the few short months since its inception. Many of these fans were discontented followers of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], which have recently become exponentially more disturbing.

==Similarities to Chris==
[[Image:Asperchu-and-sonichu-meet.jpg|thumb|left|The first drawing Alec sent Chris.]]
[[File:Vote sonichu for DA.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu]] for DA]]
While Alec has stated that Asperchu is not a parody of [[Chris]],<ref>[[Mailbag 32]]</ref> there are many similarities between the two. Both of them are [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[naïve]] individuals who find themselves somewhat out of place in the world. They both address the masses through [[List of Videos|YouTube videos]], and both are preoccupied with finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a [[sweetheart]].

These similarities between the two characters has resulted in no shortage of [[Chris and Anger|rage]] from Chris. He seems to feel that the only reason Asperchu exists is to poke fun at him. He also takes serious offense at the idea of a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] who suffers from [[Asperger's]], for some reason.

==Chris on Asperchu==
{{quote|''Die'', you son of a bitch! Alec... '''Die'''.|[[Chris]]<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Aspergchulove.jpg|thumb|The second drawing Alec sent Chris.]]
It's no secret that Chris hates [[Asperger syndrome]] (and presumably everybody that suffers from it), due to some illusory sense of competition between Asperger's and other disorders on the [[autism]] spectrum. The knowledge that someone had created a series about an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] who suffered from the affliction did not sit well with him. He became even angrier when the creator of the series himself started sending him e-mails.

The first recorded communication we have between Alec and Chris implies that Alec had been in contact with him multiple times outside of the public view and that Chris had responded to these communications negatively.<ref>[[Mailbag 10#Meet Asperchu]]</ref> Chris didn't respond any better on his public mailbag, claiming that Alec was jealous of him and inexplicably alleging that the included fan art of Asperchu and Sonichu implied [[homos]]exuality.

Upset that Chris would jump to such conclusions, Alec sent him another letter, depicting Sonichu and Asperchu having good, masculine, straight fun.<ref>[[Mailbag 17#Sonichu loves Asperchu no homo]]</ref> This letter was even more poorly received.

Undaunted, Alec continued to send letters to Chris's mailbag, thinking that perhaps the man he respected so much really just misunderstood him. A few of these letters were [[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|ignored]], some were [[Mailbag 28#Hey kids, it's Asperchu!|coldly dismissed]], but Chris's most [[Mailbag 31#Asperchu is the shit|notable]] [[Mailbag 32#Parodies|responses]] were explosive outbursts of [[Chris and Anger|anger]] and hatred. Eventually, Chris began [[Mailbag 35#No comment|refusing to respond]] to Alec's correspondence, or [[Mailbag 34#Asperpedia!|deleting his messages outright]].

In ''Asperchu'' Issue C, Chris made an appearance asking for help from the characters to save Asperchu. Later, he and [[Liquid Chris|CChanSonichuCWC]] met up with each other, leading to a standoff where Chris tried to shoot him. Chris [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|responded]] to the comic, mentioning that he was set on fire in the comic. He didn't seem to notice that he was also called by the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], nor did he notice the appearance of Liquid Chris.

Since the ''Asperchu'' saga started really taking off, Chris's schedule for [[Sonichu (comic)|his own comic]] has [[stress|dropped drastically]].

Beyond this, Chris made clear that he also hates the comic because of its "uncensored pictures" and "low resolution and blocky art". Here, we see Chris's [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in action. The "uncensored pictures" he's all up in arms over are just minor posters hung up mostly in Asperchu's room and even so, they are mostly hidden away by the character's heads. Chris's "uncensored pictures" are done by the main characters in full view, despite the fact that ''Sonichu'' is supposed to be a "kids' comic". Chris probably took the terms "blocky" and "low-resolution" from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode [[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]. Of course, compared to Chris's [[Chris and Art|art]], it's the fucking ''Mona Lisa''. It also helps that Alec is humble and doesn't try to act like his artwork is amazing and worthy of being hung in a museum.

==Asperpedia==
[[Image:Haitihelp.JPG|thumb|Clearly, Asperchu is pure evil.]]
After finishing the first three issues of his comic, Alec Benson Leary set up his own Mediawiki website where one could read all existing comics, as well as a number of articles about the world of ''Asperchu'', and read fan mail answered by Mr. Leary. Soon afterward, portals were added to the site for other notable comics, such as [[Evan]]'s [[Evan#Simonchu|''Simonchu'']], {{anchor|Sean}} and ''Sonichu is Dead'' creator Sean August Watley's latest project, ''Moon-Pals''. In [[February 2010]], more comics were added, including Alec's ''Sonichu Revolution'', Sean's ''Sonichu is Dead'' and ''Sonichu is Gay'', and Isabel Monday's ''Capering Berries''.

[[Jack Thaddeus]], recognizing the incredible profit potential of ''Asperchu'', immediately began advertising the new website on the [[CWCipedia]]. Chris responded to these new ads, and his newfound knowledge of Alec's website with a series of increasingly disturbing videos<ref>[[Down with Asperchu]], [[12 January 2010]], [[14 January 2010]], [[15 January 2010]], [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]</ref> where he made his opinions on the matter quite clear.

Alec, being a gentle soul, has not directly responded to any of Chris's offensive videos. When [[Down with Asperchu#Alec's response to the video|asked by a concerned fan]], he outlined his planned course of action as one of peace, citing his personal hero, [[Wikipedia:Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]]. His webmaster, Mao "Bamboo" Ling has opted for a more direct approach, speaking to Chris directly in two short [[YouTube]] videos.

The large banner ad for Asperpedia was replaced by a link to information on the U.S. Government's efforts to help the victims of [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|the earthquake in Haiti]], because Alec cares about the plight of his fellow man.

Due to the growing popularity of ''Asperchu'' over ''Sonichu'', the site recently set up a fan portal where aspiring writers can make their own ''Sonichu'' fanfictions. Various pre-existing titles, including ''Sonichu: The Animated Series'', are also hosted in the fan section. There is even a parody version of [[CWCipedia]] set up by Mao, where totally fictitious articles on ''Sonichu''-related things are made, including photoshopped images of the original comic.

Eventually on May 27, 2010, Mao took complete control of CWCipedia, after which Alec and [[Vivian Gee]] started uploading ''Sonichu'' Season 2. The CWCipedia was then permanently deleted for Mao to gain the upper hand after noting to the Comic Fury staff that, without ''Sonichu'' and Chris to bargain for a lower price, they must be forced to sign with him. The rights to the Asperpedia was then sold for $150,000.

===The 19 January Demands===
On 19 January 2010, Chris uploaded twelve new pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], which are centered mostly around Asperchu and the Asperpedia. [[Chris and his ego|Ever the heroic savior]], Chris pictures himself, along with [[Ultra Sonichu]], destroying the slanderous Asperpedia and saving Alec's characters from their [[Asperger syndrome|terrible affliction]], with Asperchu himself getting an "EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER" and becoming "[[Mitch Sonichu]]".

Not content with this, Chris then issued an ultimatum to Alec through a blog post:

{{Quote|Although within Alec's Hands, Asperchu IS a horrific joke, not only because of the uncensored nudity, wrongful character usage and all that, but also because the whole thing is drawn in a c***py Blocky and Low Resolution way.

I still have NO association with Alec Benson Leary OR HIS Asperchu character Whatsoever, but I will forgive Alec for his error if he FOLLOWS from my new plot and Extreme Electric Makeover as a template. He is no longer "Asperchu", just call him [[Mitch Sonichu]].|Chris's featured quote on January 19, 2010.}}

Alec didn't listen to Chris's demands, instead keeping everyone there and just introducing Mitch Sonichu as simply "Mitch Chu", who appears to be a [[Homos|gay stylist]], as well as Whisp Sonichu as the character Whispy Sonichu, Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin.

==Apologies==
In [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|a 1 February 2010 video]], Chris finally admitted that Asperchu was not a [[parody]] of himself or his original creation, Sonichu, and was instead a completely original character. He also apologized for spreading lies about Alec, such as suggesting that he [[Mailbag 50|only responded to fan mail that puts him in a positive light]], and for the constant [[death threats]] against him. He also apologized for trying to commandeer [[Evan]]'s [[Simonchu]] character (though he tactfully avoided mentioning his blatant ripoff, [[Simonla]]).

However, Chris's real motivations quickly become obvious as he proceeded to beg Alec and Evan to help him take down the [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Advertisements|CWCipedia ads]], which had become increasingly homoerotic and insulting to Chris.

A few days later, Chris made [[I am Alive|another video]] fully apologizing for his threats towards the four, deciding to give up Simonla and delivering a half-assed Forgiveness Blessing to Mao, in the hope of finally removing the ads (which also included a [[parody]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] involving him and [[Snorlax|his mom]] and an obituary for Chris).

On 25 [[February 2010]], Chris released the last pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], in which he did kill off [[Simonla]]... but turned around and ''brutally executed'' the "Asperpedia Four."

[[Book10Replacement|A revised version]], inspired by Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]], replaced the death sentences with a lifetime placement among the Amish. Jackie insisted on a parade in honor of Alec and Asperchu<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 20]]</ref><ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> but Chris did not honor his promise.

==Phone calls==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary calls}}

{{quote|Encourage the fans that were originally my fans to come back to me.|Chris}}

On 9 [[February 2010]], [[Mao]] sent [[Evan]] and [[Sean]] a series of seven phone conversations between Alec Benson Leary and Chris. While these conversations were meant to stay between the [[Asperpedia]] staff, they were eventually leaked by Mao for the world to hear. An [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth]] and [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|ninth]] phone call between Chris and Alec followed on 18 February and 25 February, respectively.

==Trial and execution of Asperpedia staff==

{{Quote|We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore.|Chris, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}

Despite Alec attempting to help Chris out several times during the phone calls, Chris would involve Alec, along with Mao, Sean and Evan, in the penultimate pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. They are portrayed as stupid, murderous characters, who are tried by [[CWCville]]'s court for the murder of [[Simonla Rosechu]], as well as the theft and mockery of several citizens of CWCville. After a rather one-sided trial (in CWCville's favor, of course), Alec and co. are sentenced to death, Alec specifically in a "ten-button Electric chair". He is electrocuted to death by various characters that were "misrepresented" in ''Asperchu'', including Sonichu, who states that he is [[Homos|"not gay"]] as he jointly ends Alec's life. Chris himself also joins in on the fun, and ironically, and also hypocritically, states that Alec is a "d*** lunatic," after which he helps fry him to a crisp and breaks all of Mao's bones using telekinesis. Evan is horribly mutilated by [[Sandy Rosechu]] whilst chained to a wall, and Sean is used as target practice by [[Bill the Scientist]], [[Kel]] and [[Allison]].

During this brutality, Chris also [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|apologized]] for some of his own wrongdoings towards the Asperchu Four, as well as his fans.

==''Sonichu Revolution''==
When the CWCipedia was taken down during the [[Simonchu]] dispute, it appeared Chris was not going to budge and would [[9_February_2010|possibly set up shop elsewhere]]. Considering Chris's laziness, how long that would take was anyone's guess. The possibility that no new comics would appear for days, weeks, or even months was likely, and this didn't take into account how often Chris's new digs would get hacked. Fortunately Alec, being the nice guy that he is, decided ''Sonichu'' fans should not be deprived of the promised reboot. He took it upon himself to not only deliver fans new pages through Chris's site, but to also take care of the looming copyright issues that Chris had been unwilling to tackle. All while still uploading new ''Asperchu'' comics.

Chris, of course, took this in entirely the wrong way. In the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth phone call]], he accused Alec of stealing his work and attempting to impersonate him. Also, while he expressed offense at the violence of some of the ''Sonichu Revolution'' strips, he showed no signs of grasping the way Alec's comic mocks the unoriginality, moral hypocrisy, sexual degeneracy, and generally warped outlook of Chris's original ''Sonichu'' stories.

===''Sonichu Revolution'' Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Sonichurevolution01.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution02.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution03.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution4.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution05.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution06.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution07.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution08.jpg
Image:SonichuRevolution9.jpg
Image:SonichuRevolution10.jpg
Image:SonichuRevolution11.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution12.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution13.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[File:Asperchuissue5ad.jpg|thumb|200px|The ad in question.]]
Shortly after 110mb returned from what may have been its billionth outage, a large ''Asperchu'' ad appeared at the top of every article, depicting [[Sonichu]] shooting Chris in the calves ([[Sonichu Special 4|sound familiar?]]) while calling him a "[[Honest Content|fat little son of a bitch]]". Chris claimed that he won't let the ad get to him, but as anyone who has heard a lulzcow claim this before knows, this implies that he could possibly be one good push away from an explosion. Either that, or he failed to grasp this ad like the [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]] ad parody.

[[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] came across this ad and, thinking it was one of the ''Sonichu'' comics, thought it was, as advertised, fucking awesome. Chris explained to her it was really a troll advertisement, which eventually lead to him showing her [[CWCki]] and her finding out what a lazy monster he is, ending the online correspondence. So even if it failed to provoke a response from Chris, it managed to perform some small service in [[The Miscreants|the larger scheme of things]].

[[File:AsperchuMarkDeux.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The (other) ad in question.]]

Eventually, the ad was taken down, although it was quickly replaced with another, smaller one featuring a callback to the scene of [[Evan]]'s cold-blooded torture from [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. Chris has yet to respond to this, most likely because he's too busy [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|bitching about not being unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]].

[[File:Sonichu0.jpg|thumb|200px|The (final) ad in question.]]

Yet another ad was put up a few days later, depicting Chris' final death. It was taken down relatively quickly and replaced with an Autism Awareness Month ad (featuring a mention of the hated [[Asperger's syndrome]], no less), so it isn't unreasonable to believe Chris may have missed this one entirely.

==Calling Out==
After attempting to ignore Alec for well over a year and a half, Chris suddenly turned around, revealing possible dox on Alec, revealing him to be a "Christopher", proclaims that he's a [[South Park|"fatty-fat-fat"]], makes donations to the [[GAMe PLACe]], and that he doesn't have Aspergers. Like [[Surfshack Tito]] and [[Thorg]], he demands reparations - namely that he make a video apologizing for [[Chris and copyright|infringing on his Sonichu "copyright"]] then demands he [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]].

On 30 August, the day before Alec's deadline, [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Chris revealed]] the true identity of Alec as 36-year old "Christopher Paul Whitney", of San Antonio, Texas. Shockingly, the true identity of Alec was shown to be [[YouTube]] sensation "Fatman". Alec/Fatman replied on 14 [[January 2012]], calling Chris a [[Slow-in-the-minds|"dumb ass"]] and claiming not to be Alec, possibly out of fear of further reprisals from Chris.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Asperchu/Background]]: More about the comic itself.

==External links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/Asperchu Asperpedia's YouTube channel]
* [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/archive/ Asperchu on thecomicseries]
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2012-03-24T01:27:07Z

BlueberryRagamuffin: Removed references to Ian Brandon Anderson

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]) mostly consists of him trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Chris loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris' behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Transcript==

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' Kim and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''breaking down''] I have been honest and true.
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— He's been a liar the whole time, you know it...
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. Are you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?eojywemfkom the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&feature=channel the call on YouTube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey

2012-03-22T16:31:12Z

BlueberryRagamuffin:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Kacey.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Kacey
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Kacey Devoria
|-
| '''Full name'''
| Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 30 June 1983
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Matt Devoria]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| Kale Devoria (elder brother) Kara Devoria (little sister)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Liquid Chris]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
|Nursing/Biology undergraduate
|-
|}

{{Quote|Yes, Kacey is one of my gal-pals; nothing major at the time. She already cares for [[Liquid Chris|this other dude]]. I do care about her as a [[China|friend]] though. :) I am the sort of man who [[The Wallflower|keeps his friends close to his heart and cares about them]].|Chris<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler''', née '''Devoria''' (born 30 June [[1983]]), is the [[sweetheart]] of [[Liquid Chris]] who became embroiled in the conflict between her lover and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]). She has a "[[china|fun]]", "[[china|caring]]", "[[china|kind]]" personality, as Chris believes all women do. As he is oft to note, she really cares for him, mayunn!

Chris tried to lure Kacey to [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] under the false pretense that he was actually Liquid Chris. They had a long series of [[Kacey calls|phone conversations]] before she cut ties with him due to [[Matt Devoria|her father]]'s disapproval. Chris believes that she is currently married to Liquid Chris.

==Background==

Basically, Chris became enraged with jealousy that [[Liquid Chris]] could have a girlfriend while he couldn't, so he conspired to steal her away in a series of devious phone calls in which he pretended to be Liquid, and told her that he would put his [[duck|penis]] in between her breasts and cum all over her. He also planned to follow this act by licking his [[comeuppance]] off of her and [[recycling]] it with her. For a straight man, it's interesting that his first time would still involve recycling his own semen, thus putting his [[homos|orientation]] into question once again. Happily, he never got his chance as she quickly "realized" that Chris was trying to trick her.

Of note, this is probably one of the most blatant and irrefutable [[lies]] Chris has perpetrated. In his utter hatred of Liquid, it is he himself that <s>becomes</s> remains the impostor in a desperate and misguided attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend. Also of note is that Solid does a piss-poor job impersonating Liquid, and Kacey has to literally correct him half the time to keep him from breaking his own charade. The worst is when his infamous narcissism kicks in, and he ends up defending "Solid" Chris's [[Chris and fashion|clothing]], [[obesity|weight]], and [[Sonichu Girls#Chris's Hair|stupid fucking haircut]]. For her part, Kacey actually flubs her lines quite a bit, forgetting that she's not supposed to know it's not the real Chris. Chris, of course, never notices.

As revealed by Chris in the video [[Greetings to Kaceys folks]], Kacey's parents are Mr. and Mrs. D (Devoria).

Kacey is the middle child of her parents, a military couple. Her father is retired military, her mother works in government affairs. She has an older brother, Kale, also military, and a younger sister, Kara, who is a freshman in college. Kacey is rumored to be attending university in Washington D.C., living nearby in an apartment with male roommates. Her family lives in the suburbs of [[Virginia]]. She is majoring in Nursing and Biology.

==Contact with Chris==

On 3 [[August 2009]], Chris sent Kacey [[For Kacey from CWC]] to prove that he is the real Chris.

On 4 August 2009, Chris created [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] to reveal his true, fat self.

Kacey was very hurt by the fact that Chris tried to trick her into going to his house. What he was planning to do if she did show up on his door is anyone's guess. In all likelihood, he expected her to actually dump her longtime boyfriend for him once he proved he's the One, True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. That, or he'd put on a brown shirt and paper medallion and hope she never noticed the glaring differences while he [[recycling|ate]] his own [[navy]] off of her.

==The Love Quest==

Once [[Liquid Chris#The_Return_of_the_King|Liquid Chris returned]], details of the contact between Chris and Kacey began to emerge. In Chris' [[Adressing Liquid]] video, he suggested that Kacey had become a close "[[gal-pal]]", and implies that he still pines for her. Chris would later officially proclaim his love for her in the [[fail|creatively]] titled video, "[[I Love You Kacey]]" where he states that Kacey and himself had been in frequent contact with each other, during the period in which Liquid disappeared.

In [[10252009 For Kacey]], Chris graduated to an official [[Love Quest]] in his desperate attempt to steal Kacey from her future husband. The delusion would grow further in [[For Chris No 2]], where Chris implies that he genuinely thinks that Kacey is leaving Liquid for him. It would later become clear that this was not the case at all; Kacey would later state that she only ever considered herself and Chris as friends.

However, Chris being himself, he began to think that she really was in love with him, and went so far as to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|make a video of him gloating to Liquid that he had won her heart.]] At one point, Kacey uploaded audio of herself singing to ''A Whole New World'', from the popular Disney movie ''Aladdin'' to Youtube. The description section ambiguously sought for "Chris" to perform a duet with the audio; naturally, this [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|culminated in a video showing the true range of Chris' Sinatra-esque tones]].

==The end of Kacey==

Chris and Kacey's <s>friendship</s> love affair continued for a while afterward, until Chris got into an [[Father Call|argument with Kacey's father]] after attempting to prove his worthiness as a man. In the process, Kacey saw how utterly messed up he was, mentally and physically, and returned to Liquid's waiting arms. Chris' chances were utterly dashed after she got a hold of [[Sonichu Special 4|his comic to her]] and learned that he was willing to go and ''shoot'' Liquid Chris. Horrified, Kacey scorned Chris for his actions in [[Kacey and Liquid Call|a final phone call to him]], never to return. Chris would later upload [[CWC is sad|a video where his solemnity was clear]], although this depression would last for merely a day.

With the release of [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|the ''actual'' final phone call between Kacey and Chris,]] it is shown that Kacey is very wise about Chris' dealings. Following the end of the call, Kacey makes an assumption about Chris never mentioning her again. While he does in [[CWC is sad]], the very next day after said video, a new video is released where [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|Chris is smiling from ear to ear.]] The very next day. The coincidence is stunning.

==Marriage to Liquid==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|The happy couple.]]

Liquid Chris and Kacey were married on 11 [[November 2009]], at 2 p.m. EST. It was a very small wedding ceremony with their families and a few select friends. Chris tried his best to ruin the honeymoon via receiving [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|copyright papers]], which, as you probably guessed, [[Fail|failed miserably]].

Little is known of Kacey at this point, despite Liquid resurfacing to help heighten the success of [[Asperchu]].

==See also==
*[[Kacey calls]]
*[[Father Call]]
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
*[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mkgfzztdgcz The complete phone call between Chris and Kacey]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground]

==References==
<references />

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Devoria, Kacey}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Chris and sex

2012-03-10T20:08:27Z

BlueberryRagamuffin: /* Moral basis on sex and double standards */

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology; for example, in [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]] it's mentioned that Chris told Ivy that he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!" While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

According to [[Calling_Out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|a video]] published in [[August 2011]], Chris enjoys female domination (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]). Given Chris's [[Virgin with rage|complete lack of sexual experience]], whether or not he actually knows what femdom is is anyone's guess.

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass Debating|masturbatorily]].<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals.

Despite his statements against bestiality, Chris stated that he would be willing to have sex with a female dog (because he's not a homo) for [[PandaHalo]] and specified that he'd prefer a Collie.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLNUncC6Nm8&list=UUpZbAoE-X3DdRo0jxIQsMaw&index=6&feature=plpp_video</ref>

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and [[autism]] ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves [[Gaybian|girl-on-girl]].

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, starting from the [[Megan]] saga all the way to [[PandaHalo]]. Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies. Due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] to commit the act, it is highly unlikely that Chris will ever rape anyone.

Despite this reassurance, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC

2012-03-10T04:17:43Z

BlueberryRagamuffin: /* Transcript */

"'''CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC'''", uploaded 9 [[August 2009]], is a final warning to [[CChanSonichuCWC]], threatening legal persecution and the like. Later in the video, he threatens to sexually assault any woman who calls him a [[homos]]exual.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DL76YWc_9XA}}
| stardate = 09 [[August 2009]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]
| next = [[LOOK at the truth!]]
}}
{{quote|I have experienced some of the good things in life. I have played the lottery a few times, I have traveled to Ohio. And I've had a few drinks. The only checkmark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker.}}

=== Transcript ===
Alright, firstly, let me dispel the rumor, and I'm only gonna explain this once, just as I have said it on the [[CWCipedia]] page, the official new [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] site, ever since I removed it two months ago, because the trolls got into my webhosting account. "I", meaning myself, "B", specifying for who I am, "A", as in singular, and "Chandler", being my last name. There is no such thing as "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]." You all have ruined those three names, those three names, in my lifetime, you have ruined them for me forever. They all just sound [''takes glasses off and drops them on the floor''] about as bad as the word "[[naïve]]" to me now. Every time I hear any of those three names now, I'm just gonna—it's gonna remind me of this whole mess. So to the, everyone who's been calling me that, NO. NO. I'm [[Christopher Christian Weston Chandler]]. Born on February 24, [[1982]], blood type A negative, born in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], no, born in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, grew up in Ruckersville Virginia, went to Chesterfield county for s—for high schooling, [[Manchester High School]]. DEGREE. Diploma. Diploma! And went to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for the degree and the certificate. Do not believe his counterfeits.

Now, my final warning, my last words, my last wise words, for mister Christian Weston Chandler. He was born with that name, he lives somewhere around DC, I know a lot about him. Look. Mister Christian. Mister Chandler. I have already informed my father to go ahead with the uh, police trials, and to get the police that we have involved with the case, getting them further involved. You pretty much just cashed in your chips when you made the phone call last night, and harshly talked to me, you would not even listen. You would call me the liar, you would continue to call me by that [[Ian Brandon Anderson|stupid Ian name]], when everybody on the world wide web and around the whole world, knows that I'm the real deal. They're just playing along with you, just to try to get on my nerves. No more. No more. Never. Okay? So, quit this stupid game. You are ruining your relationship with [[Kacey]]! She's all heartbroken about over this whole feuding between us. She's very sad, she's very depressed. You have not called her for days! What are you doing, man? She cares about you very much, and honestly, from her heart! She asked you—she asked me—she asked you to stop playing this game, why did you start? Bored? Were you just an outcast? What? But listen, you are not the Chris—you were never born Christopher Weston Chandler, I was born [[Christopher's name change|Christopher Weston Chandler]], then the bear at Regency Square changed my name to Christian, had it legally changed a few years later, after the Englishman behind that misunderstood Christopher and called me Christian. We already have so many people involved, and at this point, we're just gonna do it. Bring you in. You're gonna get arrested. We're gonna see you in court. But hopefully, I will only—hopefully you will only have to serve community service, because I really would hate to see you and Kacey's relationship a lost cause.

Dude. DUDE! This is your last warning. You've already broken my balls so many times in response to my previous warnings, bringing the police in further. You will be... I've already said that, I'm not gonna repeat myself. But, we will se—I will se—my f—my f—I, my mother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]], and my father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert]], we will all see you in court. And to everybody else, that is not a troll, and all the true fans, come back and stay with me. Because, you may have b-, you may, 'cause I know that some of you have left, and you were replaced by trolls, and otherwise you turned troll, please. Come back. We're good people. I'm good people. I'm honest. And, if you, and just like in [[Jesus]], if you continue to have faith in me, all rewards will be shown. And the rewards are shown on—on a daily basis, or the small date, even if I miss one day, something will happen the next day, on the CWCipedia.

Okay. No more of that stupid Ian name. Anyone else who mislabels me as that name again, or anybody else who calls me, mislabels a [[homos]]exual, in person, if it's a guy, you will get [''punches at the air''] PSSH! Or, he can accept the answer straight forward [''begins to fumble with something on his neck''] on my honest heart, and just leave it at that and spread the word around. Further. Or, if it's a lady, I will give her the option of either accepting the truth, [''stops messing with the thing on his neck''] or allow me to kiss her strong and long on the cheek. The FACE cheek. And video record it... [''long pause''] so there. So everybody get it through your skulls, I'm the real deal. He's the impostor, [''begins to mess with the thing on his neck again''] stop this stupid game. Stop encouraging Christian Weston Chandler number two over there. Stupid dog tag. Get this stupid—oh, forget about this stupid dog tag! [''puts controller down and takes off dog tag''] The only reason I'm wearing it is because it represents like, you know, I have experienced some of the good things in life, I have played the lottery a few times, I have traveled to Ohio. No thanks—thanks to that stupid [[Max]]. And I've had a few drinks, the only checkmark that's not left—as the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker. I'm straight. We got that cleared up. Don't ever call me Ian, don't ever call me GAAAAAY. Have a safe day, stay safe. Peace.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]|nextlink=[[LOOK at the truth!]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-09]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-08-09]]

User:BlueberryRagamuffin

2012-03-09T23:20:38Z

BlueberryRagamuffin: Created page with "HAY GUISE"

HAY GUISE

Kacey

2012-03-09T03:55:22Z

BlueberryRagamuffin: Replaced references to Ian Brandon Anderson with Chris

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Kacey.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Kacey
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Kacey Devoria
|-
| '''Full name'''
| Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 30 June 1983
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Matt Devoria]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| Kale Devoria (elder brother) Kara Devoria (little sister)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Liquid Chris]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
|Nursing/Biology undergraduate
|-
|}

{{Quote|Yes, Kacey is one of my gal-pals; nothing major at the time. She already cares for [[Liquid Chris|this other dude]]. I do care about her as a [[China|friend]] though. :) I am the sort of man who [[The Wallflower|keeps his friends close to his heart and cares about them]].|Chris<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler''', née '''Devoria''' (born 30 June [[1983]]), is the [[sweetheart]] of [[Liquid Chris]] who became embroiled in the conflict between her lover and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]). She has a "[[china|fun]]", "[[china|caring]]", "[[china|kind]]" personality, as Chris believes all women do. As he is oft to note, she really cares for him, mayunn!

Chris tried to lure Kacey to [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] under the false pretense that he was actually Liquid Chris. They had a long series of [[Kacey calls|phone conversations]] before she cut ties with him due to [[Matt Devoria|her father]]'s disapproval. Chris believes that she is currently married to Liquid Chris.

==Background==

Basically, Chris became enraged with jealousy that [[Liquid Chris]] could have a girlfriend while he couldn't, so he conspired to steal her away in a series of devious phone calls in which he pretended to be Liquid, and told her that he would put his [[duck|penis]] in between her breasts and cum all over her. He also planned to follow this act by licking his [[comeuppance]] off of her and [[recycling]] it with her. For a straight man, it's interesting that his first time would still involve recycling his own semen, thus putting his [[homos|orientation]] into question once again. Happily, he never got his chance as she quickly "realized" that Chris was trying to trick her.

Of note, this is probably one of the most blatant and irrefutable [[lies]] Chris has perpetrated. In his utter hatred of Liquid, it is he himself that <s>becomes</s> remains the impostor in a desperate and misguided attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend. Also of note is that Solid does a piss-poor job impersonating Liquid, and Kacey has to literally correct him half the time to keep him from breaking his own charade. The worst is when his infamous narcissism kicks in, and he ends up defending "Solid" Chris's [[Chris and fashion|clothing]], [[obesity|weight]], and [[Sonichu Girls#Chris's Hair|stupid fucking haircut]]. For her part, Kacey actually flubs her lines quite a bit, forgetting that she's not supposed to know it's not the real Chris. Chris, of course, never notices.

As revealed by Chris in the video [[Greetings to Kaceys folks]], Kacey's parents are Mr. and Mrs. D (Devoria).

Kacey is the middle child of her parents, a military couple. Her father is retired military, her mother works in government affairs. She has an older brother, Kale, also military, and a younger sister, Kara, who is a freshman in college. Kacey is rumored to be attending university in Washington D.C., living nearby in an apartment with male roommates. Her family lives in the suburbs of [[Virginia]]. She is majoring in Nursing and Biology.

==Contact with Ian==

On 3 [[August 2009]], Chris sent Kacey [[For Kacey from CWC]] to prove that he is the real Chris.

On 4 August 2009, Chris created [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] to reveal his true, fat self.

Kacey was very hurt by the fact that Chris tried to trick her into going to his house. What he was planning to do if she did show up on his door is anyone's guess. In all likelihood, he expected her to actually dump her longtime boyfriend for him once he proved he's the One, True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. That, or he'd put on a brown shirt and paper medallion and hope she never noticed the glaring differences while he [[recycling|ate]] his own [[navy]] off of her.

==The Love Quest==

Once [[Liquid Chris#The_Return_of_the_King|Liquid Chris returned]], details of the contact between Chris and Kacey began to emerge. In Chris' [[Adressing Liquid]] video, he suggested that Kacey had become a close "[[gal-pal]]", and implies that he still pines for her. Chris would later officially proclaim his love for her in the [[fail|creatively]] titled video, "[[I Love You Kacey]]" where he states that Kacey and himself had been in frequent contact with each other, during the period in which Liquid disappeared.

In [[10252009 For Kacey]], Chris graduated to an official [[Love Quest]] in his desperate attempt to steal Kacey from her future husband. The delusion would grow further in [[For Chris No 2]], where Ian implies that he genuinely thinks that Kacey is leaving Liquid for him. It would later become clear that this was not the case at all; Kacey would later state that she only ever considered herself and Chris as friends.

However, Chris being himself, he began to think that she really was in love with him, and went so far as to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|make a video of him gloating to Liquid that he had won her heart.]] At one point, Kacey uploaded audio of herself singing to ''A Whole New World'', from the popular Disney movie ''Aladdin'' to Youtube. The description section ambiguously sought for "Chris" to perform a duet with the audio; naturally, this [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|culminated in a video showing the true range of Chris' Sinatra-esque tones]].

==The end of Kacey==

Chris and Kacey's <s>friendship</s> love affair continued for a while afterward, until Chris got into an [[Father Call|argument with Kacey's father]] after attempting to prove his worthiness as a man. In the process, Kacey saw how utterly messed up he was, mentally and physically, and returned to Liquid's waiting arms. Chris' chances were utterly dashed after she got a hold of [[Sonichu Special 4|his comic to her]] and learned that he was willing to go and ''shoot'' Liquid Chris. Horrified, Kacey scorned Chris for his actions in [[Kacey and Liquid Call|a final phone call to him]], never to return. Chris would later upload [[CWC is sad|a video where his solemnity was clear]], although this depression would last for merely a day.

With the release of [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|the ''actual'' final phone call between Kacey and Chris,]] it is shown that Kacey is very wise about Chris' dealings. Following the end of the call, Kacey makes an assumption about Chris never mentioning her again. While he does in [[CWC is sad]], the very next day after said video, a new video is released where [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|Chris is smiling from ear to ear.]] The very next day. The coincidence is stunning.

==Marriage to Liquid==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|The happy couple.]]

Liquid Chris and Kacey were married on 11 [[November 2009]], at 2 p.m. EST. It was a very small wedding ceremony with their families and a few select friends. Chris tried his best to ruin the honeymoon via receiving [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|copyright papers]], which, as you probably guessed, [[Fail|failed miserably]].

Little is known of Kacey at this point, despite Liquid resurfacing to help heighten the success of [[Asperchu]].

==See also==
*[[Kacey calls]]
*[[Father Call]]
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
*[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mkgfzztdgcz The complete phone call between Chris and Kacey]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground]

==References==
<references />

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Devoria, Kacey}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Talk:Lovely Weather

2012-03-08T23:30:21Z

BlueberryRagamuffin: /* Statutory rape section */ new section

We have a picture of her now, Chris has discussed her and his traveling into the future and having sex with her as being not rape, in addition to her significance (the Bride of Chris) can warrant her own article now.

Maybe discuss the implications of him traveling into the future and then meeting his wife after he came back as ruining the laws of time as allowing it to affect his future, undermining free will. Maybe something about how this relates to the theory of time inevitability (see some episode of Doctor Who and also popularized in The Twilight Zone).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:25, 22 December 2009 (CET)

----

This whole thing is creepily similar to a <strike>ronery nerd fantasy involving a MILF and a 18 to [my age] boyfriend-free-girl</strike> thought experiment I had once, except both people fully knew that the other is from another time, etc. etc.. The entire question was basically: If you travel to the future and have sex with your future spouse, whom you had met in the present and were involved with (either romantically, sexually, or both), but not yet married them: Is that adultery?

I have a point here: In Chris' skull, he hasn't had sex 'outside' of marriage, because he's done his future wife, and in the time period his future-self is married to her. The fact that present-Chris hadn't even met her is irrelevant. I just need a less confusing way to word that. -- [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 04:37, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Try to reword it here - you mean to say that Chris can get away with having sex with his future wife ''just because'' he ''will'' marry her and that, since he's married to her in the future, there's no problem with any possible repercussions.

...

Ladies and gentlemen, he have hit 88 miles an hour. We are witnessing some serious shit.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:50, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

::* Yeah, that's about the jist of what I was getting at. (and I just remembered something about my thought experiment, it actually was that the theoretical couple was married in both time periods, still, it's uncannily similar.) .... The psuedotroll in me wonders if Future!Chris joined in on the fun. Present!Chris only said that he had sex with Future!Lovely, and never gave any details. Goddammit, I'm using fangirl notation.--[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 06:13, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

==Chris Crocker resemblance?==

A friend of mine pointed out that Lovely looks an awful lot like a brunette Chris Crocker.[http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/chris_crocker1.jpg] Worth noting? [[User:Meeko|Meeko]] 19:14, 13 January 2010 (UTC)Meeko
* I doubt Chris-Chan even is aware of Chris-Crock. They (Lovely and Crocker) do look kind of alike, but that just might be Lovely's manliness making them look similar. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 03:26, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

== Told you guys ==

From [[Mailbag 50]]:
{{quote|And her name comes from the Christmas Song, "Sleigh Ride", with the lyric that can be repeated over and over to continue to be good, "(Come on, it's) Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" Love Weather, she's a beautiful girl.|}}

--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:31, 31 January 2010 (UTC)

== The Wallflower ==

The article is stating that Lovely Weather is in fact the Wallflower, but I have not heard of any confirmation of this fact. [[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 19:23, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

::* I think that's just because of the time of their meeting estimated to be around January and Weather = (Wallflower's secret first name which Chris is not keeping secret so I think I can mention it's just Weather with an H). [[User:Cutelittlerosey|Cutelittlerosey]] 21:02, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

*This is pure coincidence. I can tell you that Chris came up with Lovely Weather in December (hence the Christmas connection) whereas Wallflower didn't meet Chris until January. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:17, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
** Really? Lovely Weather and Wallflower's name have the same amount of letters. When spoken in reverse, "Weather Lovely" sounds a lot like Wallflower's name. Reversing the names of people in an attempt to keep them anonymous is a common Chris-tactic. Mary Lee Walsh, anyone? It's a pretty big coincidence but okay.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:38, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris is too stupid to rhyme, if he were hiding the wallflower's name, he would be literal and just reverse her name directly, like Reldnahc. If Chris had any good idea, Reldnahc's name would be, you know, not stupid. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 23:50, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

== Lovely Rape? ==

Disclaimer: This information comes second hand, is really only applicable to Australian law and is ''on the Internet''. If you rely on something you read on the CWCki for legal advice you are more retarded than Chris.

First off, I'm moving the stuff about rape to the [[Chris_and_rape]] article where it belongs.

So, yeah. Today the whole "Lovely Rape?" question was being tossed over and over in my head. I happen to have a lawyer friend who's actually specialized in rape cases, having both prosecuted and defended many over her quite long legal career (she's retired). I spoke to her at length regarding this particular incident, explaining the details behind it. Her unsurprising conclusion was that the specific mechanics of temporal displacement are insufficiently known to science at this time to make a conclusive judgement, but she does cite several relevant cases:

* A woman once refused to have sex with her partner unless they got legally married. The man staged a sham wedding which was not legally binding. They subsequently had sex. When she found out, she pressed him for rape charges and he was successfully convicted. (+1 for rape)
* A woman was once gang-raped by eight men. When the eighth man arrived for his turn, she said to him, "Well come on then, you might as well... the rest did." The eighth man was acquitted on the ground she gave consent and that HE said he wasn't going to have sex with her unless she said it was okay, which she (technically) did (not knowing that, even if what he said was true, he wouldn't have sex with her if she didn't say yes). Lovely Weather verbally consented to the sex, even if the full circumstances were not fully available to her. (+1 for not rape; personally I "WTF'd?" at this, but she assures me it was true)

So in short, she wasn't a great deal of help directly as paradox-causing timetravel-rape hasn't been tested in Australian courts... yet. However, I did some other research and yielded the following (relevant) cases:

* The Massachusetts High Court ruled, in the case of a man who (under cover of darkness) pretended to be his brother and had sex with his brother's girlfriend, that obtaining consent for sex by fraud is not rape (source: http://www.boston.com/news/globe/city_region/breaking_news/2007/05/state_high_cour.html). Although that's a state-specific law and Chris resides in another state, this is an important source. (+1 for not rape)
* The Ontario Court of Appeal ruled, in the case of a woman (again, in a dark room) who had sex with a man who had an identical twin brother that this was, in fact, rape as the other brother should have done more to identify himself (source: http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/world-news/identical-twin-accused-of-duping-brothers-lover-into-having-sex-with-him_100329696.html). The man was sentenced to six months imprisonment, a light sentence for rape, but certainly not a trivial one. Again, the wrong state, but certainly a strong precedent. It's worth noting that the man was an active service policeman which may have been a factor in sentencing (police are generally held to a higher standard of truth and honesty than citizens). (+1 for rape)

For those who have an eye for details, the following discussion on SciFi Forums (http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?t=82799) might prove to be very insightful; it contains a HUGE amount of examples, quotes from legal scripture, etc.

The bottom line: Was it rape? Well, after giving this due thought and finding a bunch of sources with relevant information, I have to answer with a definite... possibly. It would depend on the state (Virginia, obviously, but I couldn't find any sources from there), the judge, the jury, the prosecution, the defense, the political and social movement at the time... any number of factors. A clear cut answer on whether the term 'rape' applies here is not clear nor, it's likely, will it ever be in our lifetimes. One thing that IS universally agreed upon however, is that Comic!Chris's behaviour in this case is most definitely highly unethical and repugnant, skirting a '''very''' fine line if not actually over it. Consent which relies on strict conditions (such as being legally married to each other ''at the current time'' where sex would be denied if the marriage is invalid (Chris would say Lovely Weather would be up for it anyway; no woman says no to Chris), not being the knowing carrier of an undisclosed STD, knowingly and deliberately sabotaging protective/contraceptive measures, hookers being paid for sex, etc) would, in most jurisdictions, be classified as rape. Consent which relies on less strict conditions is, as Shepherd Book said, a mite... fuzzier. It certainly has unsavory implications, that's for sure.

Feel free to discuss further either here or on the rape page. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 10:58, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Statutory rape section ==

I don't think statutory rape is the correct term for Chris' shenanigans with Lovely Weather. I think it should be changed to "Rape by deception", but I wanted to get feedback in case I'm completely off the mark. --[[User:BlueberryRagamuffin|BlueberryRagamuffin]] 15:30, 8 March 2012 (PST)