CWCki - User contributions [en]

User talk:Bluedeanie

2016-01-11T22:30:40Z

Bluedeanie: Blanked the page

User:Bluedeanie

2016-01-11T22:29:57Z

Bluedeanie: Replaced content with "{{db-user}}"

DJ Jamsta

2011-09-04T06:50:05Z

Bluedeanie: /* Not cool */

[[Image:Jamster.jpg|130px|thumb|Jamsta covering the gay pride march]]
{{quote|
"Hey guys, gals, [[Chris|duds]] ''[sic]'' and dudettes of all ages! We are rockin' hawt at Cwcville Beach for Spring Break [[2008|'08]]! Y'all know me as Jamsta Sonichu, da DJ with da power!"|DJ Jamsta, laying it down}}

'''DJ Jamsta''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] [[Wikipedia:Disc jockey|DJ]], and a host on [[KCWC]] radio station. His origins are unknown; ''Sonichu'' historians suspect he was plagiarized from a better comic. DJ Jamsta is known for using out-of-date slang and making sexist remarks towards women. Even by ''Sonichu'' standards he is particularly ridiculous-looking. He looks kind of like if the beginning sequence to ''[[Wikipedia:Saved by the Bell|Saved by the Bell]]'' fucked [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

One of the most notable traits Jamsta possesses is an odd lack of consistency in coloring across his body. It's also not entirely clear if his ears are just a different color than the rest of his fur or if he just has a spectacularly terrible hat. Of note, if they ''are'' his ears, then his earphones rest on the side of his head, far away from anywhere they would be of any use. Jamsta's arms are also the tan color Chris usually uses for human skin. While possible that Jamsta shaves off his arm hair for whatever reason, it's vastly more likely Chris can't even keep color straight for even that long. It is also notable that Jamsta has a fan-shaped tail not seen in any other Sonichu. It is colored in three bars that match his shirt, but no part of his actual body.

==Not cool==
[[Image:328-Jamsta.jpg|thumb|right|COOL DUDE]]
[[DJ Jamsta]] is a symbol of what Chris thinks is cool, which is why Jamsta is so very uncool. Chris uses some of DJ Jamsta's lines in his [[Christian_Weston_Chandler%27s_FUTURE_MESSAGE|future message]]. Like Chris trying to act "with it", Jamsta sounds much more like a marketing executive parroting lines for credibility than an actual "cool" character, throwing (what Chris considers to be) trendy words into his speech without much logic.

==Age==

Along with [[Lolisa Rosechu]], DJ Jamsta Sonichu is somehow inexplicably older than the "original" [[Sonichu]]; his age is shown as 21 at the end of episode 17 in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], while, near the start of [[episode 18]] (which is set months after episode 17 occurred), Sonichu becomes 20 years old. This leaves a logical inconsistency: if Jamsta is older than Sonichu, wouldn't he name the species of [[Pokémon]] to which he and the rest of the male Hedgehogs belong?

Chris addresses this in [[Mailbag 2]].

{{quote|"Yes, that is correct. Jamsta and Lolisa hatched somewhere private, and their species was not classified with the Professors until about [[Sonichu chronology|1990]]."|--ChrisChanSonichu 00:33, 22 [[November 2009]], [[Mailbag 2]]}}

Of course, Chris's explanation only created more questions. In fact, it makes even less sense than before. For example, it doesn't explain where Lolisa and Jamsta came from in the first place, how they met each other, and why he is running a radio station. Also, the implication that they were hatched together is somewhat problematic, and adds all manner of pseudo-incestuous undertones to their relationship. Of course, since all the characters seem to regard Chris as a father figure in some warped sense, that's pretty much par for the course.

{{Sonichu}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{Template:Stub}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

Calling Out

2011-08-24T19:06:31Z

Bluedeanie: /* Transcript */

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of [[videos]] [[Chris]] uploaded between 6-23 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2461''', Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information regarding the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka "Don"). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of a photograph of what he claims is the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a [[My Little Pony|TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate [[Chris and negotiation|negotiations]] and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal pal|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my life, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Tito's official response ==
In a clear attempt to meet Chris's demands, Tito produced a video in which he explains what lengths he is prepared to go to in order to prevent Chris from releasing his personal information. This video was acknowledged by Chris the following day.
==== Video ====
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tito's official response to Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uZhlo94cMNk}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| maker = Surfshack Tito
| subject = Response to Chris's Demands
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
}}
{{quote|This is official, true, and honest.}}

===== Transcript =====
Heh, hey, little cuz, uh, or, uh, [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] if you prefer. It's me, uh, Tito, or Don, um. Listen man, I got some sand in the [[Navy|potato salad]] this time; you caught me, cuz. I- I admit it. I sold the security files of [[Sony|Sony]] to the hackers and I'll, uh I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! Just don't- just don't release that video, eh with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your [[Niggos|slave]] for a whole week if I have to. I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down. I won't let you down.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out Thorg (aka "Jeremy", aka [[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China|China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

I win.

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands, lest [[jerkops|the authorities]] intervene: 31 August, 2011.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito|Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands that Alec, Tito and Thorg [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later delivers tirade concerning the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Michael Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, as he repeats the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from one of his [[For My Sweetest Ivy|videos for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Learec- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu|Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have lear- Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, I essentially still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.

Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at The PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia|Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts... including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that... the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn... is... a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville|Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and it is owned by a child molester! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

== Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2466''', Chris accepts [[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)#Tito.27s_official_response_to_Chris|Tito's attempt to meet his demands]], while Thorg appears to have made no such efforts yet. Chris is still awaiting the money he demanded (apparently forgetting that in the last video he admitted that blackmail was a felony), and another part of Jeremy's face and part of another photo Chris has obtained of him are shown to viewers.

This video also shows us that Chris now has two piercings on each ear. It was previously believed he had two on his right ear and only one on his left.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Nn4u9b_hJk}}
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[It's not that cold]]
| next = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Miss duh dadline.jpg|thumb|but miss the deadline...]]
[[File:CheckYourPriv.jpg|thumb|Y'all best remember to check your privileges, ya hear?]]
Well, it seems I have gotten a well-wise response to my recent videos...from [[Surfshack Tito|master Don]], of which I will now respond to as [[speech impediment|sutss]]. You d-you made a wise descision, Don. I am-as long as I get the money before the end of the month, I will withhold the photographs and the other information. I can promise you that, but miss the deadline... ''[widens his eyes and stares into the camera]'' and you certainly don't have to be my slave for a week. I mean, aside from the [[Niggos|slave laws]] and everything. ''[shakes head and sighs]''

Anyway, apparently I have learned from my esteemed colleague that Thorg, master Jeremy, is still not convinced I mean businesss. Well, just to show you, Jeremy, that I mean businesss, I'm going to reveal a little bit more about you.

Here is a closeup--another closeup of that pho-to-graph zoomed in on your pizza face! ''[looks off-camera at the picture and zooms in on a different part]'' Excuse me a moment. ''[whispers]'' alright, ''[mumbles, as air conditioner gets louder]'' as well as a zoom-in on a possibly more current, or possibly previous pho-to-graph of yourself. Aaand, I'm gonna reveal a couple of random tidbits about you from my notes!

Once again, Jeremy lives in Can-a-da...and he likes the typical geeky things, without being stereotypical, of course, and not offending anyone of the sort, because I am considerably one myself, because I like [[Pokemon|Pokemon]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Yu-Gi-Oh!]], and all- and [[My Little Pony|that sort]]. Apparently, uh, he is a LARPer. Live action role playing! As it was portrayed in that episode of [[Wikipedia:The Tester|The Tester]]!

''[begins to speak in a high-pitched, singsongy voice]''

"Oh, look at me, I'm [[Chris and English|trollicking]] about! We are going to be warriors and whatnot! Yay, we won the things! [[Chris and Reality|And then we're future cops, sent being- mall-for future mall cops]]! Mall cops of the future! La, la la, la la, la la! We're LARPing about! LARP LARP LARP LARP! LARP. LAAAARP. LARP! Lorp."

And we know that the atheist does not like [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|having his mind changed]] about [[GodJesus|God]]. I mean, I gotta tell you, man, God is all-powerful. How do you think the [[speech impediment|Earss]] was created aside from the big bang? Who had to put the big bang together? God! And I know from my bible ''[shows bible]'', my hand on it, that between him and [[GodJesus|Jesus]], they're pretty powerful! They're pretty powerful individuals... and I believe in them. They have- I mean, Jesus has done a lot with his miracles before he had to [[Obesity|weigh]] the cross, which I just [[Chris and his Ego|empathize]] with him on that,i mean.

''[closes eyes and inhales through teeth]'' it's like I can feel the thorns that were drug-that were drudge, plowed through his hands and his feet! [[Fail|Thorn of crowns]]. Mm. Empathy is a powerful thing.

But...I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my-by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists...are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer...I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!

You have until August 31st to reply and follow my demands of admitting...your wrongdoings, and making the public apologies via [[YouTube|YouTube]] video, as I am a-well aware, as I have made note, but apparently the billboard is no longer an option. Anyway, between the YouTube public apology, and leaving the internet alone, AND leaving me, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my friends at peace, that is what I demand of you, master Jeremy. ''[air conditioner gets louder]''

Your move. 'Cause if you're not, fulfill- if you don't don't respond by the 31st, [''[[death threats|snaps fingers and widens his eyes]]''] I mean business. Check your privileges!

== Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya ==

Chris, [[Homo|lipstick and all]], threatens [[Jack Thaddeus]]. Unlike his reveal on [[Thorg]], Chris becomes two-faced as he accepts Jack's desire to be a transvestite and seek gender reassignment surgery, yet he attacks Jack because he chases after guys. Like the reveal on Thorg, Chris wants to see him trolled not so much out of a tit-for-tat desire for revenge, but rather because Chris found out he was [[homos]]exual. Interestingly, Chris gives Jack ten extra days to come up with his apology video and to leave the Internet.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w1SN9Jl-DTk}}
| stardate = 16 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[Kaka Makeup Basics]]
| next = [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}
{{quote|Blackmailing me to hump your Playstation 3 causing great embarassment, to sing "It's okay to be gay", and he Posted disgusting advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:BI.jpg|thumb|The one time you wish he was wearing DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.]]
[''Chris sits down and sighs.''] Good day. I felt that it's appropriate to dress in my feminine attire as I- as you can see fits. [''He stretches out one leg, trying to show off his ass.''] Because I am definite calling out one Jack Thaddeusss, and we happen to share ''[He lifts his leg and rests it on his knee, giving the camera a buffalo shot.]'' some similar common interests, a few of which. Like, uh, yes, we can- we- we do accept the adj- we both accept the adjective of being called trannies, esscept for him, he's, uhh, he's just went through a whole-- the whole gender-changing operation. Yep. Lopping off his [[Pickle|dick]] and puttin' on the ol'... an' gettin' it tucked in. I am not- I would never chop- I would never do that to- [[Homos#Fear of becoming a homo|I would never do that.]] Go and have a sex change operation. I'm proud to be a male, and I'm even more proud to be a [[tomgirl]].
[[File:Spanking2.jpg|thumb|"I like to get smacked by my woman."]]
And we both like to cross-dress, yes. And we both are into [[April 16 Fetish Vids|femdom]], which is a female domination. Oh, yeah. ''[creepy chuckle]'' I like to get smacked by [[Ivy|my woman]]. Mmm... yes.

Except for, uh, I would definitely s- put against, uh, Misher Jack, or, as is real name is said in de title of this video, which I will say in a moment. Uhh, in the pro- in the- in his- in his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would defi'itely '''not''' be considered any at all a woman- a woman whatsoever. He just only fashionably ''[raises his hands]'' looks like a woman, with the parts and whatnot, except he does not have- essept he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive[sic] organs. I mean, I want to have [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]] someday. Obviously, he don't. ''[Gives a disgusted look.]''

And, uh, also my associate dat gave me the information on him, he- pretty much, uh, he pretty much is plain out callin' him a tomgirl, but you know what? He's not a tomgirl at all. He's just a full-blown [[Homos|gay]]. ''[Stares into space, then looks down at his clipboard.]''

Anyway, gettin' back on topic, uh, his name is, uh, Ahu-viya, which, uh, it is spelled at the title of this video. Hmm, he is in Pennsylvania, and, uh, I have pretty much just gave a few descriptions of him, uh, yeah. He definitely appreciates his... [[homos]]eshual culture as it is. I mean, yeah. Everybody- everybody who hates- everybody who is a ho- who is a homophobe, ''[drops his leg down and sits upright]'' go ahead and call him on it. Call Ahuviya a God-dang homo.

[''moans with a derp voice, imitating Ahuviya''] Homo! I like to be a homo! [[Slow in the minds|He-he durr-hurr bluh bleh bleh!]] Eeeeoooouh! [''shakes his head with his tongue sticking out, then blows a raspberry'']

Yeah. But, of course, the, uh- my demands are simple, as they ha' been recently. I want Mr Ha- Ahuviya to make the public apologies for all the things he have done a- he has done against me. ''[Quieter voice.]'' Shoot, I forgot to write 'em down. But he knows what he did! Among which, uh, he has, uh, pestured me, and, uh, [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|on]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2|the]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|phone]], and uh, [[Chris humps his PS3|blackmailed me into]] [[It's UGH!|doin' a few things]]. Yeah, I'll in from th- get those stats in and, uh, if he doesn't, uh, I might add them to the description of this video, after I wri- after I write 'em down.

Hmph. Anyway, 25-year-old Ahuviya, homooooo! Pretty much it. ''[Swings his leg back up to rest on his knee.]'' We do agree on being cross-dressersss. Although, I must also admit, um, ''[to himself]''I should have access to that actually, uh, yeah. [''Grabs his [[PS3]] controller''] Just give me oooone moment. [''Boots up his PS3''] Yeah, I think this is it. Whoops. [''puts controller in both hands''] I think actually did... save it on here... Huhhh, zoom in, I only want a but of a free sample.

[''Grabs his camera shakily.''] For thisss, as usuaw... hmm, I gotta get a little clossse here, because I don't have zoom-in functions on the Cross-Video bar Photo Viewer...

[''Cue a bright yellow light''] Closer the picture. [''Shows a close-up of a man's chin.''] Yeah. Anyway, he just does a bad- [[Chris and hypocrisy|he just does a terrible job in cross- quote-unquote "cross-dressing," because I mean, look at that stubble on his face!]] [''Smacks his hand on the camera lens.'']

[''Uncovers to show his arm, then the camera pans over his messy room.''] And then look at me all over. I take the time to shave myself. [''Close-up of his bare thigh, then slaps it.''] Smooth. ''[He slaps his ass.]''

[''He jerks up the camera back to his face.''] So yeah. Ahuviya... make your apology video, leave the Internet, leave me and my family and my friends at peace. You have... uhh, lemme see... [''He checks his calender, counting under his breath.]'' ''One, two three...'' Yeah. You have until the tenth of [[September 2011|September of this year]] to upload your video of apology for all the wrongs you have done to me which I list in the description a li'l later. Good day.

== Re-Calling Ahuvia ==

On 23 August 2011, Chris made another video calling out Jack Thaddeus once more. As the time ticks down, Chris reveals more information about him, including the fact that he was a communist, which Chris hates (probably because of [[Bob]]). He further proves his ignorance by conflating communism and [[CWCville|Nazism]], even though the two were mortal enemies. Like his previous Jack Thaddeus/ADF video, it was removed for hate speech.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re-Calling Ahuvia
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ofdre0Ima1A}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.5 Shirt
| previous = [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]
| next = [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Sigh|*Sigh*]] Hello again, thee Internet. I have heard d- have not seen any response from Mr. Jack Thaddeus, as also he's known as Ahuviya. So therefore, I will reveal a little bit more information about him, starting with another portion of the photograph. ''[Camera pans shakily to the TV screen. It takes a moment to come into focus, revealing the upper left portion of a face, and then jerks back to Chris.]''

And, uh- let's see, what else do I have here on de stanssss... ''[Chris seems to read from something in his hands offscreen]'' He was definitely responsible for hacking my- hacking da network accounts. Probably had a ''hand'' in that blackout a few months ago. ''[A brief pause while Chris looks at his notes again]'' And, uh, he blackmailed me into humping... my c-console. And, uh, pa- he pasted the disgusting ads on da Cwcipedia... as well ''[Slurring and hissing]'' asss otherss trollin' schemess within the past couple of years. Uh, let's see...

''[Looks down again]'' Hmm...

Oh yes! ''[Looks back at camera, raises voice in a faux dramatic fashion]'' He is a communist! And we do not like communists within dis country! ''[Waves his right hand about, pointing upwards while glancing to his left]'' [[Chris and politics|We are Republican, Democrat or neutral]]... And I am neutral, so [[Homo|I can go either way]], but I do not exactly care much for ''[Raises voice and waves finger emphatically]'' COMMUNISM! [[CWCville|We do not like to stand under one ruler.]] It is very unruly and... sssssssstupid! ''[Pauses and stares]''

''[Chris begins to sing a half-assed rendition of "[[Donald Duck|Der Fuhrer's Face]]"<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MReV9dkAVhY]</ref> [[CWCville|I will give a heil!]] ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' ''[In a sing-songy manner]'' Right in der Führer's face. Da da doo doo doo doo doo d'loo da doo doo doo da da ''[Chris and camera both bob enthusiastically with the tune]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Right in der Führer's face. ''[With his song finished, Chris settles the camera]''

Oh, yes, he is also a big fan of, uh- bonding... bondage, ssssadoism, machotism and disciplinary fetishisesss. And he is in the process of a sssexual change. He is going to have his... ''[Pauses, looks uncomfortable]'' [[pickle|weiner]] chopped off. I would ne'er do that, which I believe I have mentioned earlier; that is the one thing in being a tranny that I disagree on with him... And he's definitely never gonna be a female truly in that sense, in female ''[loudly and deeply]'' dominance. He has to get a real woman to come in in order to do that. ''[Pauses again to look at his notes]''

He still lives in Pennsylvania. Still a [[homo]]. ''[With a dramatic voice like an announcer at a boxing match]'' Twennnty five years old! ''[Attempting to sing the name operatically]'' Ahuviyaaaaa.

Stay tuned.

== Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David ==

{{Protip|Please don't flag Chris's videos.}}

Chris, still high on victory, turns his attention to [[BlueSpike]], believing him to be the cause of the prank phone calls of people shouting out "JULAAAAAAAAAAY!" and calling him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]. His reasoning for going after BlueSpike also seemed to be more towards his condition of [[Asperger's]] and the fact that he has no job, likes big rooms and is a gamer, despite the fact that BlueSpike would only be about 15-16 by now and unable to get a proper job, unlike a certain 29-year-old we know.

It, too, was removed from YouTube shortly after being posted due to "hate speech".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uEMFYldLCUM}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.5 Shirt
| previous = [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]
| next = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

[[File:Toht.jpg|thumb|Chris looked at the ark.]]

''[Chris puts his hand to his mouth and clears his throat.]'' [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JUUULAYYYYYY!]] JUUUULAAYY! IT'S [[Ian|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]! ''[He waves his hands while saying this]'' JUUULLLAY! ''[incomprehensible retarded noises here, up to...]'' Ian Brandon Anderson. JUUUUULLAYYY! *pfffffttt* ''[blows raspberry while flipping the bird]'' And that's who we are calling out next. The, uh, person who posed-pretended to be an adult woman but yet was a little, uh, little brat. Al... -he was also known as his alias Max, and BlueSpike, but his real name is... ''[hits pad of paper offscreen]'' David!

And he lives in... ''[hits pad again]'' California! Don't know that much about his age, but he's at least thirteen years old. And guess what... he is confirmed to have... ''[dramatic lean forward]'' [[Aspergers_syndrome|assburgers]]! And I don't care much for Aspergians, and I do not care to be associated with, erm, an-... and I do not accept the ''[makes quote-marks hand gesture]'' scientific fact that [[Autism|autism]] is linked to assburgers at any time. I would quote myself as to what I said in the esstra part of [[Autism Tutorial Extra|my Little Big Planet 2 animation]], but I don't remember the words at this point.

''[picks up camera and turns around, with it facing the back of the room]''

Except that it definitely sounds like a bad cut of cow meat. And of course he was responsible for dat Julie fiasco and making me drive all the way to Cleveland, Ohioooo! And cutting up, one of the, cutting up the second medal, and ''[sounding like Popeye?] [[Julie Reveals Herself|Shoving it up my ass.]]'' And... he likes ''[dramatic gesture]'' big rooms! [[Chris and hypocrisy|And he has no job]]! And he is also a [[PS3|gamer]]. Here is a close up, featured from his photograph!

''[Chris turns the camera around to face the TV]''

''[high pitched]'' Look at his buck [[Fangs|teeth]]! ''[normal again]'' Or at least the gap between his teeth. That's a biiiig gap! Look at how big that gap is! Huh? Gap! Teeth! Buck teeth? Perhaps. But definitely a gap.

''[Chris turns the camera back towards himself while spinning around]''

And, Mr. David, you have until [[September 2011|September]] fifteenth to come up with the apology video, and leave me and my family and my friends at peace, oh, and also in your apology video tell everyone to stop making phonecalls to me that say ''[the Claw of Fail]'' JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY! And get rid... make sure that no-one ever calls me Ian Brandon Anderson ever again, because, ''[fast]'' thatisnotmyname![http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI&ob=av3e] ''[long pause]'' You have until September fifteenth. JUUUULLLLAAAY- ''[cuts out]''

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]] / [[Correction of EX relationship status]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Megan emails, 2008

2011-03-23T03:47:20Z

Bluedeanie: /* Chris does not regret the Meganporn and claims drawing it help prevent him rape her */

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails exchanged by [[Megan]] and Chris in [[2008]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Chris wants Megan to live with him===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Wed, 2 Jan 2008 7:06:12 AM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: A thought for you, Megan

Considering [[Chandler Family Tree|my family]], and [[14 Branchland Court|"I'm livin' under their roof"]], you may want to consider typing up all that you told me last night to back you up in the face of my family. And you may want to set some additional funds aside for rent. Also, offering to help with the chores is good.

I am unanimous with myself in welcoming you to our house as our guest for as long as you need, and I truly meant every word I said. It's my mother's and father's opinion you may have for another obsticle.

I hope my family will be willing to help you, a descendant German Warrior Traveler. :)

Take care; Chris Chan.
}}

===Megan doesn't want to be on Chris's websites===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 7:49 am 
Subject: Thanks again

Hey thanks again SO VERY much for your thoughtful and kind and generous trade. Though I feel as though I took all your money since it mostly goes to your parents. :( But Thank You very much. I doubt I will be asking for much in the future, so just as an appreciation bonus I will go ahead and give you the [[wikipedia:Hamtaro|Hamtaro]] toys along with the rest of the manga and stuff. I'm sorry to hear about [[Grace Baptist Church|the Church thing]], I mean God forgives and gives second chances. Some people just aren't meant to work under His name, like [[Wikipedia:Catholic sex abuse cases#United States|all the priests who abuse young boys]]. Yeah that [[internet]] thing is getting very much out of hand and would like to ask if you could please take down or remove anything that has to do with me from any of your websites. I don't want to appear on those sites as well. Thanks again! ~Megan
}}

===Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Wed, 12 Mar 2008 6:23:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: I am sooooo sorry

I didn't realize how much of an... a-hole I could have been; I was [[Chris and anger|caught up in the rage]] from that weekend in November when I did that; I couldn't even see straight. But I have done what I should have done long ago; inform [[wikipedia:AOL|AOL]], as well as other places on the web who can take down offensive websites and pages.

I've really shot myself in the foot, and I am sorry. Not only am I mad at myself for being such a complete enraged a-hole, but my rage against those jerks who put that page up in the first place arose with greater flame, because my closest friend got hurt emotionally (that's you).

I will see to that website's demise, or my name isn't Christian Weston Chandler.

[[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you]].

[[List of Chris's lies|Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you]].

And I am prepared to repeat that hundred times from the bottom of my hurting heart.
}}

===Chris emails her some detective work, Megan likely doesn't give a shit===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 1:23:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Follow up

I have been investigating, in addition to out-of-spite "adding fire to the flame", since I've first found it randomly in that fateful day, November 2, 2007. Please allow me to fill you in. My first major clues of a matching duo were the original date of the document creation, Wednesday, Ocotber 31, 2007, and this .jpg, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan, which was obviously taken on the previous Friday, October 26, 2007. For the week, my family and I were pondering the major suspect; the dude who took that pic, which I distinctly remember seeing the camera flash while I playing a young gentleman in Pokemon TCG. Thus, my family came in and we found that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had the camera in question, but he did not take the picture. Then we've suspected [[Lucas]], but we did not question him at the time. But a more obvious expression reply was found by myself, when Saturday March 8, 2008, at the Gamestop in Forest Lakes, the Midnight release event of [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Super Smash Bros. Brawl]], Mimms and I were watching a pair of tournament players brawling; one was playing [[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong|Donkey Kong]]. So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing. And today, I looked up [[Wikipedia:4chan|4Chan]] on Wikipedia.com, http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg, apparently 4Chan is solely a web thing that people can go on and mess around for the attention, with examples of false bombings, hackers on [[MySpace]], and more similar events listed on there. Upon the collected information on this case I've let set on the back-burner for a while, I can only suspect [[Lucas]] for being the culpret in putting that page up in the first place, because, seeing how close [[Mimms]] and Lucas were, he had as much access to the beforementioned pic from October 26 as Mimms did. Also, I photographically remember the person who took my pic that day being tall and wearing a long coat. I'd like to put Lucas under a spotlight and question him about this whole thing, then put him behind bars for descreation of someone else's character. I'd question him myself, but [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] of [[The GAMe PLACe|the Game Place]] said after my mother and father questioned Mimms that Friday night, if I were to bring up ANYTHING about that page again, he would kick me out of the Game Place for like a month. If you'd like to talk to Lucas discreetly about the subject, I'd appreciate it for the benefit of my investiga tion.

Megan, I am sorry about this whole mess, and having drawn that drawing, and raging the fire and hurting your feelings and emotions. If I can, not only will I get that drawing off that webpage, but I'll try to take down the whole thing. But I can't do it alone (my mother and father have been letting it set on the back-burner without giving it much thought).

I can only hope you'll forgive me, but no matter what, I still love you as my closest gal-pal.

I hope you feel better soon; Chris Chan.
}}

===Megan is scarred by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 7:33 am 
Subject: well...

I just don't know what to say now....

I am very much scarred by that image and it will never leave me. And I can't decide what's worse, the image in general, or the fact you intentionally drew it AND gave it to the webmaster for that site that you hate so much. Not only have you poured gas on the fire by doing that,(adding obscenity to the already horrific site) but you have also embarrassed and humuliated me, and degraded and demeaned me whether you realize it or not. I mean I'm not that kind of girl, and you know that. So why? And you also lied to me about it.

Between that and my recent [[Heart level|heartbreak]] how am I to trust another man again? Simply put: I can no longer trust anyone now.

You have very much hurt me on an emotional level. And when I get hurt emotionally it'll take a physical toll. As in no appetite, feeling tired and sick, no sleep.

So I am unsure what to do about this. I can't say I really think of you the same anymore, I'm sorry to say. I will continue to give the remaining items for the zune and that will be all the contact you have with me unless I decide otherwise. I hope you understand. So we'll let time decide how I feel about this current situation. Until then please don't come up to me anymore unless it's to give you what I owe which seems kind of awkward now.

I know how it feels to be alone but, I can't keep throwing away my pride little by little just to keep you satisfied, you know what I mean? There has to be an "enough is enough" at some point. And I cannot continue to disgrace myself by forgiving things that I never find forgivable in the first place.

That's all I can think to say right now 
I'm sorry, we'll just see 
~Megan
}}

===Megan wants Chris to leave her alone===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Fri, 14 Mar 2008 4:06 am 
Subject: ok..

Ok well look, I am unsure how I feel and what to do. So here's what I think. I'd like for you to just completely leave me alone for a while, until I can sort things out myself, you understand? It's not like I hate you, but I don't see you in the same light anymore. So just leave me be for a while, let me try to recuperate with my few other friends. And maybe we can just start from scratch sometime. Maybe, I dunno, just depends on how I feel ok? So please let me be, and let me see how it goes ok?
}}

===Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Fri, 14 Mar 2008 4:10:38 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Re: ok..

I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to [[Chris and sex|sexual images]] as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of outtercourse (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry. If it helps put things into perspective, I can reccomend finding information on the internet through this educational website I've found through [[Sex toys|AdamEve.com]]. Or I reccomend renting [[wikipedia:The 40-Year-Old Virgin|"The 40 Year Old Virgin"]]; that movie touches on some of the issues around sex, and how it can really frustrate an older virgin who hasn't had the pleasure yet (or I can loan you my copy of "The 40 Year Old Virgin"). The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.

I worry about you, and I want to help you as much as I humanly can. While I AM on the verge of taking that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|EncyclopediaDramatica]] page taken down, I understand that there are a number of other web pages of hate against me, and as much as I would like to be able to track every one down and report them and get on the verge of taking them down as well, someone else may put another hate page up against me. It's a fact of this modern world known as [[Trolls|"Cyber Bullying"]].

And as for the drawings, while I have shoved the text information down their throat in an attempt to drown them in submission; there were too many images of...[[Duck|penises]]...yech, on there. I drew drawings promoting vaginas to go against those dickheads. I did the drawing of [[Sonichu]]] fucking [[Rosechu]], I did the drawing of [[Bubbles]] getting it from [[Black Sonichu]] (I had the idea of paring them up in the comic book anyway), I did the drawings of [[Angelica]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] (that witch hag) mastubating. And I did draw the drawing of me giving you a hand job, from among my adult fantasies, with your eyes censored to conceal your identity. It was a massive step outside of my boundries, and I did it out of anger, and I regret having done it, and I am really, really, sorry. But we all do things in the heat of anger, and/or out of our boundries, that we end up regretting later.

Megan, Sweetheart, I will give you as much space as you need during your time of recovery and learning how to cope with it and put it into your own perspective. But please remember, I will always worry about you, and even though you may not feel the same about me as you did before, I still Care and [[Love quest|Love You Very Much]]. <3<3<3<3<3

Take care; my thoughts and prayers are with you; Chris Chan.
}}

===Chris bothers Megan about Encyclopedia Dramatica again===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Sun, 16 Mar 2008 12:28:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Megan.

I hope you're doing well. Anyway, I'll get to the point; there is a way you can work with me on the elimination of the "Chris-chan" page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], basically the pages on whole ED website are wiki (similar to html editing), and setting up an account to edit the page is free; you may want to use a fake e-mail address. Anyway, you can remove the all the junk they put about you on there, as well as the drawing from the page for starters, but be careful not to take out TOO MUCH; they may undo your doing, so you may want to make multiple edits; remove the story on the first time, then add some random thing that comes to your mind onto the bottom of the page. [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|I've managed to have the drawing removed and replaced with a different, yet similar image for a while, but they undid that bit of my handiwork]].

I can only do so much at one time, since after I make an edit (behind their backs), they "ban" my IP address from undoing their undoing, and I have to wait a few hours to a day or two before I can anything more against them.

That's the story there.

Also, under a spot of rage against them for the answer some of them gave me when I asked them why they hated me, I've alerted the media about it through e-mail. I've said nothing about you to them, but you may want to try to remove the stuff about you from the page ASAP.

Again, I am really sorry about this whole mess.

I pray for your emotional recovery. Keeping you fondfully in my thoughts; Chris Chan.
}}

===Megan is fed up===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 16 Mar 2008 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan.

Look, my main issue is NOT the website itself. It's just the fact that you drew those weird pictures. Um....ok...so instead of removing that one completely, you just [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#15_March|enlarge]] my crotch....thanks a lot....WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST REMOVE IT??!!

Well I'm sorry but that just makes me more angry in a way. It's not that actual sex-act that traumatises me, it's the fact that you fantasize doing such things to me when you know I would never. It's like, how do I know you're not going to abduct me and such? That was a figure of speech. You know what I mean? It creeps me out you have such thoughts about me. It's like you're stalking me so you really need to back off.

I mean thinking like that is one thing (though disturbing as well) But sitting down and actually drawing a detailed image of it is even worse. I don't like being around people like that at all!

I don't like being around people who think only of sex and pleasure. I don't care how lonely you are, I haven't had luck with relationships either, but I don't boast about being a "[[virgin with rage]]" When you say things like that, it just makes it sound you're looking for someone to fuck.

I'm sorry to say this but you're partially to blame for some of the content on the site. Because things about me and things they quoted about me came from you obviously. You have those blog things and so you [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#12_November|blabbed]] to the whole cyber world about the angry [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|email]] I sent you last summer. Ok, just WHOSE business is it anyway? I don't understand why you post things involving me like that. And you also made it sound that I just wrote you an angry email and you had nothing to do with it, when in fact the reason being was because I was sick of telling constantly to stop touching me. That is SEXUAL HARRASSMENT. I wrote the email in response to what YOU did wrong to me.

Although it may not seem like a big deal to you, it was to me. Just because I've allowed other guys to hug me, doesn't mean you automatically have that right. I have the [[Women's rights|right]] to decide who can get close to me. If a female doesn't like the way a guy advances or touches her, even if other females are ok with it- if that one female doesn't like it, it IS sexual harrassment. You greatly need to understand that.

That's all I have to say to you 
I'm too angry and upset to want to help with the website's demise. So sorry but you're on your own with that one.
}}

===Chris continues bothering her about ED===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 8:46:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Megan...

Firstly, I suggest that you take another look at the page; in the FIRST Paragraph, they theorize and mock me with, and I copy and past to quote, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|"and drawing pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary twin sister."]] And the images were ALIGNED to the RIGHT, so the theory is matched UP to DOWN with respective image comments from, "... Imaginary sister?" to "I don't like where this is going" and finally, "Chris' own artwork portraying his sick fantasies." And to break my camel's back, they state in the second paragraph under "The Comic Itself", I quote, "A later upload by CWC himself verified that he wants to have sex with his imaginary twin sister. So, this Crystal would be both his daughter and sister... In other words, he wants to impregnate his mother, then have sex with the offspring."

Secondly, I have TRIED to delete the nude drawing, even to replace it, but in the discussion page of my account I created to edit the page away from mockery, but every time I delete or replace the image, they would re-upload the original pic. They call what I'm doing AGAINST the "article" vandalism, and they tell me, "vandalism is completely pointless (click here to find out why), and will get you a swift ban, so you might as well stop." And even though after they "ban" me, I wait a few hours to a couple of days and I am unbanned. You can consider me "The Resistance" against the "Alien Dominators" of E.D., because that's the role I am occupying in this tragedy.

Also, I've told them they're not only hurting me emotionally, but they were hurting you, Megan, emotionally and deeply as well, because they were dragging your name through the mud with mine.

As for the drawing itself, I've realized that it was done not only out of inspired fantasy, angst against E.D., and love for you, but also a [[Mass debating|major release for my crazy, mixed-up hormones]]. If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac, so thank god for allowing me to release my bottled up frustrations in a more positive, yet not so "Politically Correct", and not physically hurting others, method.

Be the release as it may, I am hurting [[Chris and his Ego|SOOOOO MUCH MORE]] than you can be, because I have been taking the abuse from those [[jerks]] on E.D. If you want to get it all off the "article", be my guest; make your account, send your message of the "Resistance" and delete the Major Chunk off the page in edit; they will only undo your missile barrage of damage in one felt swoop.

I am depressed and emotionally exausted from [[Stress|ALL THIS STRESS]]. The only thing I can do that won't get undone is be as apologetic as I can ever be from the bottom of my sad, depressed heart.

I'm Sorry, Megan, for the massive warfare I have wrought against you and me in a damn fucktarded release of my damn hormones.

I'm sorry. Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===Chris does not regret the Meganporn and claims drawing it helped prevent him raping her===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Fri, 21 Mar 2008 9:03:16 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Megan

You know about as much as I know that I have taken responsibility for my error, and it has also been bringing me the darkest pain this month.

I want to patch up our friendship, because I do not want any further discomfort between you and me. Although the acursed page is there now, if we just ignore it, it may fade away in a month or so. Also, if we let every little [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty detail]] bother us, we're just as bad off as any pop or rock star. They get abused a lot by the paparazi and the media for the details of their deeds that they could not have known about themselves at the time. From the maximum amount of [[stress]] from all that; they sometimes get totally out of whack and possibly hurt themselves. But you and I are only civilians without so much fame and fortune; you and I, we do not have to suffer such Star Stress; if we only put it behind us, we don't have to build such a stressful level within ourselves.

I myself had left it a good distance behind me for a few months, but then you were bothered by it. And I couldn't help but dig up the remains left behind, only to build up a very stressfully torturing month for me.

Megan, I am sorry for uploading the drawing, and I really wish I could go [[Sonichu 7|back in time]] and stop myself from making the mistake. Yet I do not regret drawing the drawing, because if I hadn't released my frustrations in the creative sense, I might actually have done [[Rape|something]] really dumb and stupid. It was really stupid of me to let my impulsive anger get the best of me and make me upload it in an attempt to shove so much information down their throats and drown them into taking the page down.

[[List of Chris's lies|But I've learned from my mistakes]], and I regret letting my frustrations and [[Chris and anger|anger]] get the best of me. All I can do is put the whole thing behind me, try not to think about again, never look at the damn page, and move on with my life.

For the sake of our friendship, Megan, PLEASE just forget about the dang webpage, put it behind you, and let's resume our good friendship like the whole mess never happened.

I still love you, Megan, and I honestly care and worry about you from my heart.

Peace; Chris Chan.
}}

===Chris still wants Megan===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Sat, 22 Mar 2008 3:28:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan

I've DELETED ALL of the [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|ORIGINAL BLOGS]] months ago, just to let you know. I can understand how you're feeling against me now, but it really hurts me and makes me sad that you don't want me close to you.

I'm just a lonly old-feeling fool who needs closure once in a while, and [[Barbara|my mother]] and [[Bob|father]] won't be around forever. I can remember the times we were close, we shared our honest feelings openly, my PSOne games on my [[PSP of Fail|PSP]], and your Strawberry Pink character drawings...I really miss those tender moments. And I got you all that stuff from eBay; the [[Sailor Moon]] cards, the DVDs, the figurines, the rest of that stuff, and recently the [[Wikipedia:Zune|ZUNE]], and you have repaid the pleasure of doing all that for you with greater interest. I love to see you smile, I love to see you happy, and I love seeing the sweet, honest, tender and carefree kinda gal who is [[Megan Schroeder]].

But now that I am barred from you for a big mistake I made that I have taken a great deal of responsibility, through trying to undo it, through taking down the previous pages leading up to it, through a month full of [[stress]], tears, lonliness and too many moments standing by myself...

Remember some time ago, you jested that you wanted me to give up my heart to you? Well, basically, I had already done that just after you and I met; my heart still cries for you; not a moment passes by when I don't have a tender, caring or worried thought about you.

Although I do understand your feelings, and I can only respect your wish of staying away from you...<nowiki>*sob**sob*</nowiki>...my heart still cries for you, I'll always be worrying about you, and I will always Love You, Megan Schroeder. <nowiki>*sob*</nowiki>

I'll see you Sunday..., and I guess that's ALL I'll get to do with you...[[The Creepy Stare|seeing you]]...from a long distance; as long as the most perilous journey, as long as a dream where I'm constantly running towards you; you'd look like you're near, yet you are soo far away from completing me... [[Love quest|I Love You]], Megan Schroeder.

Peace; Chris Chan.
}}

===Megan asks Chris to leave her alone again, attempts to talk sense into him===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 23 Mar 2008 1:05 am 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan

As I've said, the website means nothing to me. It's the fact that you blab about me on your blogs and therefore it gets put on the website. [[Fail|So in other words, ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.]]

I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.

So I think I'd like to stay away from you at least for a while then as time passes I'll better know what to do.

Until then just please leave me alone
}}

===Megan still wants to be alone===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 23 Mar 2008 8:12 am 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Like I said, I just want some time on my own for a while. It's not like I am hating you or anything. I just want to be by myself for a while

And I haven't nor will I EVER forget all the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|wonderful surprises you have given me]] and such. Thank you.

This is only a "bye for now" just allow me to be alone and eventually things will cheer up ok?

Thanks and try to keep your chin up. And I'll try to do the same. (I'm never real positive...) 
~Megan 
PS I won't be coming this sunday- Easter
}}

===Chris talks about his feelings, then some shit no one cares about===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Fri, 18 Apr 2008 9:36:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey...

I understand why you didn't want me to talk to you... <nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki> I'd feel better if we can try not to think about that detail and put it behind us.

Megan, I really want to remain your friend, but I feel it growing more difficult with the emotional feeling of long distance between you and me. I feel sad, lonely and rejected when you don't allow me to be socially close to you or even when you won't talk to me. (Besides which, I get lonely everynight in the sanctity of [[Chris's Room|my room]], and even when I'm out with my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], [[Bob Chandler|father]], or alone, so I feel the extra loneliness and sadness like rubbing salt and vinager on a wound.) Also, I can't help but feel the worry about how you are feeling everyday that I feel. Please, Megan, put what has passed behind you and open yourself emotionally to me and let you and me be good friends like before.

Also, aside from my feelings, I wanted to let you know that I got an 8GB Memory Stick Duo; all my Full Downloaded Games and all my Save Data (for the [[Wikipedia:Universal Media Disc|UMD]] games as well) and all that from between the two 4GB sticks are now on the same [[Wikipedia:Memory Stick|Memory Stick]]. What's more, I am able to give you one of my two for when you get your PSP, and copy your choice of PSOne classics and the game Beats, as well as a cornucopia of [[Sailor Moon]] MP3 tracks to play on Beats. When ready, you may check out http://store.playstation.com to look up the variety of PSOne and PSN-Exclusive PSP titles that can be downloaded to the 4GB Memory Stick.

I think you still owe me a bit for the Zune; $20, Hamtaro toys and a DVD set. If you are able to get all that to me next Friday, I would appreciate it, so you and I can be squared-away on that deal.

BTW, I won't be coming in Sundays for UFS; I've been going to the [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] (after being [[List of places that have banned Chris|kicked out]] of the [[Grace Baptist Church]], and upon my father's suggestion) for over a month now. And with that, I've also been attending the Sunday Night service for the young adult church members who are attending [[UVA]]. Also, I've started hanging out in the Recreation Room in the upper floor of the next-door Student Centere Tuesday and Thursday Afternoons playing [[Guitar Hero]] on their [[PS2]], or my [[PS3]] which I bring there in a Toys 'R' Us Cloth Bag. I've met a few new female acquaintances, but nothing has come up [[Friend zone|further than that]] yet.

One more thing, something good for you to look forward to, in addition to the German Dictionary I'm saving for your Birthday, I'm putting a special present together just for you to go with it. It's not glittery or pricy, but it is a Special Surprise Present. :) And I'm not letting you in on what it is until the Friday closest to your Birthday.

Anyhoo, please allow me back into your world as your Good Friend, and I promise never to [[The Wallflower|repeat]] the mistakes I've made.

I also wish [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] the best of luck and the Lord's blessing on him finding a new, better job.

Peace be with you; Chris Chan.
}}

===Megan can't trust Chris anymore===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:40 am 
Subject: Re: Hey...

Well first of all, I can't put this behind me because I don't feel comfortable around you anymore. Especially since you said you drew that so you wouldn't do anything stupid. What does that mean? [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|Abducting me and raping me?]] I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore...

I'm sorry but I don't like being around men like that.

As for the zune, you said for me to hold on to the hamtaro and dvd's and I only recall having to pay you the 30$ for your credit card.

So I don't know what to say right now, but maybe you shouldn't give me anything for my birthday. I hate my birthdays and prefer not to be reminded of them
}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:20080312-Meg-SawPorn.PNG
Image:Megan_08-03-16.PNG
Image:Megan 08-03-18.PNG
Image:Megan 08-03-22-1.PNG
Image:Megan 08-03-22-2.PNG
Image:Megan 08-03-22-3.PNG
Image:Megan_08-04-20.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}
[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Talk:Main Page

2011-03-18T17:21:05Z

Bluedeanie: /* Seriously */

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates.}}

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]] [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 2|2]]

==Happy Sonichu Day!==

Is Sonichu 11 or 23? Also, is it possible to make the Sonichu page the now article? --[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 21:33, 16 March 2011 (PDT)

==PSN Tracker==
I have Chris on my friends list on the PSTriple.
How would I go about contributing to the PSN tracker? [[User:Dillon627|Dillon627]] 06:30, 28 January 2011 (PST)

==Protect the templates==
Seeing how the main page itself is protected, why not protect the templates as well? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:49, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*There's already cascading protection for all the front page templates. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:51, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*Stop freaking out about this spammer shit, Champ has it under control --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 16:53, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== new vid ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzAJvMKQeJA&feature=player_embedded

can't add news so there you go--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:38, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Can this be the new Quote of the Now, please?==

{{quote|I've learned... from my father; he taught and showed me which male ends go into which female ends.|Wallflower E-mails.}}

[[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 13:28, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
I'm for this too.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 02:10, 21 October 2010 (EST)

==I suggest this for the Video of the Now==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmFHPbaNT04 [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 07:37, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

Since there's a white space in the Video of the Now (at least on my computer) why not feature this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoqjN3amRD4
--[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 17:44, 21 October 2010 (PDT)

== Project Map Fucking Everything ==

Started up this project and got a lot of things mapped down.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ptab=2&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=116038930500742252038.0004949e055d81dc61c0b

I'd like to get all of the places he mentions/visits/films/rapes marked down on the map, but there's a lot of videos and some of them I never wish to see again. So, it's open collaboration and anyone with a Google account can edit it. Feel free to login and mark down different areas he's visited. Just try to be logical and succinct when adding locations. Don't need every McDonald's marked down. When doing videos of him travelling, try to figure out the path with a line and mark at least one end of it.

Now, a question:
Should we make a page for the full map or just link it in the bottom of the "Locations" divs on the other pages?
-- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 13:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

*Put it on the locations template. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 13:53, 9 November 2010 (PST)
**Done. Couldn't think of a better name than Chris's World. -- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 14:11, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== Sports ==

Is there any inclination that Chris is into any kind of sport or professional sports team? I asked this on the main page because I don't know where else to ask it.
*Sign your fucking posts god damn. Also, no. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 04:18, 14 November 2010 (PST)

== Slight Error ==
Chris hasn't gone 5 days without the internet, he logged into youtube 2 1/2 days after he posted the leaving video.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 19:46, 26 November 2010 (EST)
:Probably should have discussed this before just removing the counter... [[User:Smtp|Smtp]] 17:02, 26 November 2010 (PST)
::It's a non-pedantic count. We're really focusing on how many days he's gone without making a video - which Chris equates to "being on the Internet". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:30, 26 November 2010 (PST)
:::Yeah, why is the counter back? I don't know how to re-implement that sort of thing or I would. --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 16:18, 17 December 2010 (PST)

== Vandalism? ==
Some guy named [[User:Trueandhonest]] has been going around vandalizing pages lately, claiming to be Chris-chan himself. Most likely it's a troll, but I just wanted to point that out. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 15:33, 30 November 2010 (PST)

== Does Christian Who Cares know this?==
I don't remember his surname. Does he know that the creator of Pokémon has [[aspergers]]? At least Wikipedia's article says so... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Tajiri --[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 16:21, 4 December 2010 (PST)
* It seems that you just answered your own question. As to whether or not Chris knows, I honestly don't think he even cares. He justifies things when it allows him to continue his current lifestyle. He'd probably just say "Well I guess there are some exceptions" and move on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:39, 4 December 2010 (PST)
** You're right, I should have figured that out. Theres an article about his hypocresy, but its not really necesary to read it; it takes about three seconds of reading this wiki to realize that he's the biggest of hypocrites...--[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 17:46, 4 December 2010 (PST)

==CWCki is pretty dead==
Chris isn't coming back, at least not for a long time. Despite this, there are a shitton of new editors who drop by every other day and fuck up articles. The only reason I'm really still here is to fix up the edits of these new editors. I think we should start finding the good articles on the wiki and either lock them or put a template saying not to fuck with it a la ED. As articles get fixed up, they get locked down, at least until Chris comes back (if he ever does, anyway). I get that it might take some time or whatever, but it would help preserve the CWCki should Chris never come back or I die or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:11, 11 December 2010 (PST)
*Well it was just a matter of time until he would end up in a mental hospital. I always told him so, but whatever. I agree though, that there are probably many articles, that can be protected, especially all the videos, mails, phone calls, chatlogs and whatnot.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 19:09, 12 December 2010 (PST)
::I'd push for the templating approach rather than protecting. Article protection should be used sparingly. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:00, 14 December 2010 (PST)
:::After seeing old articles being still corrected here and there, I tend to agree. Maybe this Chris-free time isn't so bad after all. Gives us time to look through all the old articles.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:51, 14 December 2010 (PST)
::::You guys have gone from reporting the antics of a potential criminal to stalking a retard. Really it's pathetic. Do we need to know about uneventful sightings at the mall or his activity on PSN? That sounds like having less of a life than Chris does. Every lolcow eventually dies down and CWC is finished. This isn't like that point when everyone thought he was done for but came back, this is it.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 18:05, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::Obviously you know something we don't. Go on, enlighten us. [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 21:08, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::First, as Champ said pretty much RIGHT below this, this page is about improving the main page exclusively. Take it to Offshore CWCki. I think your targets are probably mostly there. As far as I'm aware, the people remaining here are dedicated to the wiki, rather than devoted to coming up with new ways to stalk Chris.
::::::It's not even about concerning ourselves with how next to foil Chris' Heart-Meter. This is about the chronicling
::::::and archiving of this entire man-child's existence for the benefit and hilarity of all future new-fags
::::::--[[User:Boosegumps|Boosegumps]] 03:40, 19 January 2011 (PST)

== Sightings ==

Okay, question, as a field agent who is seeming to have multiple run ins with Chris (was the guy who took the kroger pic and I commonly see him when he comes into my work) Where should I put my sightings so I am not cluttering up the other pages? [[User:CFA|CFA]]CFA
:1. Sign posts with 4 tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) if you want to avoid typing all that shit every time.
:2. [[User:CFA/Whateverthefuck]] is usually the best place to put your stuff.
:On another note, I appreciate that CFA is the name of the guy who took that pic, but that doesn't necessarily prove that it's you. Expect people to be critical of that statement. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 01:20, 16 December 2010 (PST)

*I did sign with 4 and I posted it up on the offshore first. Secondly, I asked because there is no article on sightings. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 10:38, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Signing with 4 tildes yields a timestamp. Always. There was no timestamp. The point I was making was that yeah, the guy on offshore is called CFA. However, you just made your account here and there's nothing stopping someone other than offshore's CFA from taking the username. As a result of this, even if there were a "sightings" article, you still wouldn't be able to just dump new shit there because there's no confirmation that you are who you say you are. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:10, 16 December 2010 (PST)
*alright, then what would constituent proof for you guys? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:03, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::I'd say photos ^^ [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:01, 16 December 2010 (PST)
:*photos of what? My page on offshore or something else? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 17:56, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Gee, I don't know, maybe ''the picture you originally uploaded to Offshore CWCki''? --[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:39, 16 December 2010 (PST)
::I think the best picture to upload would be proof that you can log into CFA's account on Offshore. If you have any new pics, those work too, but I don't expect you to have to do too much work for this. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:07, 17 December 2010 (PST)
*[[Image:CFA offshore.png|300px]] [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:41, 17 December 2010 (PST)CFA

:*In the future, posts like this go in the Community Portal and not here. This discussion page strictly involves improving the main page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:33, 19 December 2010 (PST)
*My apologies [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:54, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

== Is This Chris? ==

He apparently stalked the shit out of liquid Chris therefore leading him to know his whereabouts along with his real name. So, he decided to post a video about it for some "troll busting".

Here's his channel:
[http://www.youtube.com/user/CarlosChantor]

- 06:33 (CST) January 6,2011

I doubt it. I mean, do you see him putting together such a coherent video and hacking someone's facebook. The only Chris-like thing about it is that they got the wrong one of the twins pegged as Liquid.....

ARIGOLD17 WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SIGN POSTS- 3:30 (EST) January 14, 2011

== ps3 tracker change ==

the ps3 tracker says jan.7.2010 when it should be jan.7.2011. just pointing that out. [[User:Carnival Vexillarius|Carnival Vexillarius]] 10:06, 8 January 2011 (PST)

== Shojo letters ==

[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletter.jpg]]
[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletterreply.jpg|Right]]
*Front page, y/n? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:18, 26 January 2011 (PST)CFA
<s>If it's legit I'd say front page material, I know Chris watches anime, but somehow I can't see him reading manga. I think he'd be too frustrated to figure out that you read it back to front. I think this might be a troll impersonating him</s> Never mind it says 23, so no one really knew about him, so it's probably legit.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 06:06, 1 March 2011 (PST)

== Potential Video of the Now? ==

Some pickle-related drama, brought to you by ''The Kids in the Hall''.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECAvZTcaQew

-- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 12:31 2 February 2011

*For future reference, this should go [[Template talk:Video of the now|here]]. The thing about the video is that Chris hasn't used the "pickle" euphemism, as far as I can tell, since 2008 or maybe early 2009. It's just a really out-of-date term. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:12, 2 February 2011 (PST)

== Not sure if it goes here but ==

*First, no pics (due to working at the time) but Chris came in with Rocky. But here is the thing, he was with a group of special needs folks around his age, seems Rocky has gotten him to socialize with other special needs folks, that or the strange girl he sat across from was friendly with him. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:30, 25 February 2011 (PST)CFA
:Get pics next time. No, really. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:32, 25 February 2011 (PST)
:Oh and also, this is the wrong place to do this. This is about improving the main page. Put it [[CWCki:General|here]] or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:38, 25 February 2011 (PST)
*Thanks and as for pics, it was out of the blue, did not expect to see him that day (he normally comes in on saturday between 3 and 4.)[[User:CFA|CFA]] 18:28, 27 February 2011 (PST)CFA

==Userboxes==
*Would anybody have a problem with organizing the userboxes, like Trollboxes category would contain Clyde's, Vivian's, Jack's ect. Description/identitiy boxes, like all the ones that say this user is a x, like the American, straight, hikikomori. Then like title boxes like admin, grammar nazi, ect. I could organize them, but it'd take me a while cause I'm busy during the week.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 13:11, 2 March 2011 (PST)

== da update should be first ==

ps3 tracker later, or maybe just merged. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:39, 2 March 2011 (PST)
:I spent a while messing around with it today trying to find a better way to organize it, but I couldn't figure out how to change whether something's on the right or left side of the page. I guess switching the two wouldn't be too difficult because they're in the same box. No complaints here. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 15:41, 2 March 2011 (PST)

==Seriously==
*What the fuck happened yesterday? What was with the creepy girl? Why was everything 404'd, though some of the 404 pages were funny.
: Seems like the server was just down. I'm not an admin so I don't really know. But the creepy girl has always been what you see when you specifically go to cogsdev.org or sonichu.com[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 05:51, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
*I was just trying to check this site yesterday and I saw that ''thing'' instead. I can upload a pic of it, but... Was it supposed to be Little Red Riding Hood or some shit? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 09:26, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:: I JUST tried and the weird Little Girls was there and then I re-loaded the page and it was fine... dunno. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 15:43, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
::: [http://www.sonichu.com/buletta.jpg picture] Based on the filename it's supposed to be [http://capcom.wikia.com/wiki/Baby_Bonnie_Hood Buletta/B.B.Hood] from Darkstalkers. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 16:27, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:::: Y<s>eah any time I've tried to follow my bookmark link that is set up to cogsdev.org, which has ''always'' worked, mind you, it now takes me to the BB Hood image after trying to redirect to sonichu.com. In order to actually get to the site I have to google CWCKI and find a random page and then backtrack to the main page. Am I doing something horribly wrong somehow?</s> As of my having written this, it'a back to normal now. Weird. Disregard me I am a buffoon.--[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:14, 18 March 2011 (PDT)

Talk:Main Page

2011-03-18T17:14:46Z

Bluedeanie: /* Seriously */

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates.}}

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]] [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 2|2]]

==Happy Sonichu Day!==

Is Sonichu 11 or 23? Also, is it possible to make the Sonichu page the now article? --[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 21:33, 16 March 2011 (PDT)

==PSN Tracker==
I have Chris on my friends list on the PSTriple.
How would I go about contributing to the PSN tracker? [[User:Dillon627|Dillon627]] 06:30, 28 January 2011 (PST)

==Protect the templates==
Seeing how the main page itself is protected, why not protect the templates as well? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:49, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*There's already cascading protection for all the front page templates. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:51, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*Stop freaking out about this spammer shit, Champ has it under control --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 16:53, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== new vid ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzAJvMKQeJA&feature=player_embedded

can't add news so there you go--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:38, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Can this be the new Quote of the Now, please?==

{{quote|I've learned... from my father; he taught and showed me which male ends go into which female ends.|Wallflower E-mails.}}

[[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 13:28, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
I'm for this too.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 02:10, 21 October 2010 (EST)

==I suggest this for the Video of the Now==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmFHPbaNT04 [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 07:37, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

Since there's a white space in the Video of the Now (at least on my computer) why not feature this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoqjN3amRD4
--[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 17:44, 21 October 2010 (PDT)

== Project Map Fucking Everything ==

Started up this project and got a lot of things mapped down.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ptab=2&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=116038930500742252038.0004949e055d81dc61c0b

I'd like to get all of the places he mentions/visits/films/rapes marked down on the map, but there's a lot of videos and some of them I never wish to see again. So, it's open collaboration and anyone with a Google account can edit it. Feel free to login and mark down different areas he's visited. Just try to be logical and succinct when adding locations. Don't need every McDonald's marked down. When doing videos of him travelling, try to figure out the path with a line and mark at least one end of it.

Now, a question:
Should we make a page for the full map or just link it in the bottom of the "Locations" divs on the other pages?
-- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 13:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

*Put it on the locations template. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 13:53, 9 November 2010 (PST)
**Done. Couldn't think of a better name than Chris's World. -- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 14:11, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== Sports ==

Is there any inclination that Chris is into any kind of sport or professional sports team? I asked this on the main page because I don't know where else to ask it.
*Sign your fucking posts god damn. Also, no. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 04:18, 14 November 2010 (PST)

== Slight Error ==
Chris hasn't gone 5 days without the internet, he logged into youtube 2 1/2 days after he posted the leaving video.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 19:46, 26 November 2010 (EST)
:Probably should have discussed this before just removing the counter... [[User:Smtp|Smtp]] 17:02, 26 November 2010 (PST)
::It's a non-pedantic count. We're really focusing on how many days he's gone without making a video - which Chris equates to "being on the Internet". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:30, 26 November 2010 (PST)
:::Yeah, why is the counter back? I don't know how to re-implement that sort of thing or I would. --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 16:18, 17 December 2010 (PST)

== Vandalism? ==
Some guy named [[User:Trueandhonest]] has been going around vandalizing pages lately, claiming to be Chris-chan himself. Most likely it's a troll, but I just wanted to point that out. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 15:33, 30 November 2010 (PST)

== Does Christian Who Cares know this?==
I don't remember his surname. Does he know that the creator of Pokémon has [[aspergers]]? At least Wikipedia's article says so... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Tajiri --[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 16:21, 4 December 2010 (PST)
* It seems that you just answered your own question. As to whether or not Chris knows, I honestly don't think he even cares. He justifies things when it allows him to continue his current lifestyle. He'd probably just say "Well I guess there are some exceptions" and move on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:39, 4 December 2010 (PST)
** You're right, I should have figured that out. Theres an article about his hypocresy, but its not really necesary to read it; it takes about three seconds of reading this wiki to realize that he's the biggest of hypocrites...--[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 17:46, 4 December 2010 (PST)

==CWCki is pretty dead==
Chris isn't coming back, at least not for a long time. Despite this, there are a shitton of new editors who drop by every other day and fuck up articles. The only reason I'm really still here is to fix up the edits of these new editors. I think we should start finding the good articles on the wiki and either lock them or put a template saying not to fuck with it a la ED. As articles get fixed up, they get locked down, at least until Chris comes back (if he ever does, anyway). I get that it might take some time or whatever, but it would help preserve the CWCki should Chris never come back or I die or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:11, 11 December 2010 (PST)
*Well it was just a matter of time until he would end up in a mental hospital. I always told him so, but whatever. I agree though, that there are probably many articles, that can be protected, especially all the videos, mails, phone calls, chatlogs and whatnot.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 19:09, 12 December 2010 (PST)
::I'd push for the templating approach rather than protecting. Article protection should be used sparingly. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:00, 14 December 2010 (PST)
:::After seeing old articles being still corrected here and there, I tend to agree. Maybe this Chris-free time isn't so bad after all. Gives us time to look through all the old articles.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:51, 14 December 2010 (PST)
::::You guys have gone from reporting the antics of a potential criminal to stalking a retard. Really it's pathetic. Do we need to know about uneventful sightings at the mall or his activity on PSN? That sounds like having less of a life than Chris does. Every lolcow eventually dies down and CWC is finished. This isn't like that point when everyone thought he was done for but came back, this is it.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 18:05, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::Obviously you know something we don't. Go on, enlighten us. [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 21:08, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::First, as Champ said pretty much RIGHT below this, this page is about improving the main page exclusively. Take it to Offshore CWCki. I think your targets are probably mostly there. As far as I'm aware, the people remaining here are dedicated to the wiki, rather than devoted to coming up with new ways to stalk Chris.
::::::It's not even about concerning ourselves with how next to foil Chris' Heart-Meter. This is about the chronicling
::::::and archiving of this entire man-child's existence for the benefit and hilarity of all future new-fags
::::::--[[User:Boosegumps|Boosegumps]] 03:40, 19 January 2011 (PST)

== Sightings ==

Okay, question, as a field agent who is seeming to have multiple run ins with Chris (was the guy who took the kroger pic and I commonly see him when he comes into my work) Where should I put my sightings so I am not cluttering up the other pages? [[User:CFA|CFA]]CFA
:1. Sign posts with 4 tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) if you want to avoid typing all that shit every time.
:2. [[User:CFA/Whateverthefuck]] is usually the best place to put your stuff.
:On another note, I appreciate that CFA is the name of the guy who took that pic, but that doesn't necessarily prove that it's you. Expect people to be critical of that statement. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 01:20, 16 December 2010 (PST)

*I did sign with 4 and I posted it up on the offshore first. Secondly, I asked because there is no article on sightings. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 10:38, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Signing with 4 tildes yields a timestamp. Always. There was no timestamp. The point I was making was that yeah, the guy on offshore is called CFA. However, you just made your account here and there's nothing stopping someone other than offshore's CFA from taking the username. As a result of this, even if there were a "sightings" article, you still wouldn't be able to just dump new shit there because there's no confirmation that you are who you say you are. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:10, 16 December 2010 (PST)
*alright, then what would constituent proof for you guys? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:03, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::I'd say photos ^^ [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:01, 16 December 2010 (PST)
:*photos of what? My page on offshore or something else? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 17:56, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Gee, I don't know, maybe ''the picture you originally uploaded to Offshore CWCki''? --[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:39, 16 December 2010 (PST)
::I think the best picture to upload would be proof that you can log into CFA's account on Offshore. If you have any new pics, those work too, but I don't expect you to have to do too much work for this. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:07, 17 December 2010 (PST)
*[[Image:CFA offshore.png|300px]] [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:41, 17 December 2010 (PST)CFA

:*In the future, posts like this go in the Community Portal and not here. This discussion page strictly involves improving the main page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:33, 19 December 2010 (PST)
*My apologies [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:54, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

== Is This Chris? ==

He apparently stalked the shit out of liquid Chris therefore leading him to know his whereabouts along with his real name. So, he decided to post a video about it for some "troll busting".

Here's his channel:
[http://www.youtube.com/user/CarlosChantor]

- 06:33 (CST) January 6,2011

I doubt it. I mean, do you see him putting together such a coherent video and hacking someone's facebook. The only Chris-like thing about it is that they got the wrong one of the twins pegged as Liquid.....

ARIGOLD17 WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SIGN POSTS- 3:30 (EST) January 14, 2011

== ps3 tracker change ==

the ps3 tracker says jan.7.2010 when it should be jan.7.2011. just pointing that out. [[User:Carnival Vexillarius|Carnival Vexillarius]] 10:06, 8 January 2011 (PST)

== Shojo letters ==

[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletter.jpg]]
[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletterreply.jpg|Right]]
*Front page, y/n? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:18, 26 January 2011 (PST)CFA
<s>If it's legit I'd say front page material, I know Chris watches anime, but somehow I can't see him reading manga. I think he'd be too frustrated to figure out that you read it back to front. I think this might be a troll impersonating him</s> Never mind it says 23, so no one really knew about him, so it's probably legit.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 06:06, 1 March 2011 (PST)

== Potential Video of the Now? ==

Some pickle-related drama, brought to you by ''The Kids in the Hall''.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECAvZTcaQew

-- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 12:31 2 February 2011

*For future reference, this should go [[Template talk:Video of the now|here]]. The thing about the video is that Chris hasn't used the "pickle" euphemism, as far as I can tell, since 2008 or maybe early 2009. It's just a really out-of-date term. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:12, 2 February 2011 (PST)

== Not sure if it goes here but ==

*First, no pics (due to working at the time) but Chris came in with Rocky. But here is the thing, he was with a group of special needs folks around his age, seems Rocky has gotten him to socialize with other special needs folks, that or the strange girl he sat across from was friendly with him. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:30, 25 February 2011 (PST)CFA
:Get pics next time. No, really. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:32, 25 February 2011 (PST)
:Oh and also, this is the wrong place to do this. This is about improving the main page. Put it [[CWCki:General|here]] or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:38, 25 February 2011 (PST)
*Thanks and as for pics, it was out of the blue, did not expect to see him that day (he normally comes in on saturday between 3 and 4.)[[User:CFA|CFA]] 18:28, 27 February 2011 (PST)CFA

==Userboxes==
*Would anybody have a problem with organizing the userboxes, like Trollboxes category would contain Clyde's, Vivian's, Jack's ect. Description/identitiy boxes, like all the ones that say this user is a x, like the American, straight, hikikomori. Then like title boxes like admin, grammar nazi, ect. I could organize them, but it'd take me a while cause I'm busy during the week.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 13:11, 2 March 2011 (PST)

== da update should be first ==

ps3 tracker later, or maybe just merged. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:39, 2 March 2011 (PST)
:I spent a while messing around with it today trying to find a better way to organize it, but I couldn't figure out how to change whether something's on the right or left side of the page. I guess switching the two wouldn't be too difficult because they're in the same box. No complaints here. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 15:41, 2 March 2011 (PST)

==Seriously==
*What the fuck happened yesterday? What was with the creepy girl? Why was everything 404'd, though some of the 404 pages were funny.
: Seems like the server was just down. I'm not an admin so I don't really know. But the creepy girl has always been what you see when you specifically go to cogsdev.org or sonichu.com[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 05:51, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
*I was just trying to check this site yesterday and I saw that ''thing'' instead. I can upload a pic of it, but... Was it supposed to be Little Red Riding Hood or some shit? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 09:26, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:: I JUST tried and the weird Little Girls was there and then I re-loaded the page and it was fine... dunno. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 15:43, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
::: [http://www.sonichu.com/buletta.jpg picture] Based on the filename it's supposed to be [http://capcom.wikia.com/wiki/Baby_Bonnie_Hood Buletta/B.B.Hood] from Darkstalkers. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 16:27, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:::: Yeah any time I've tried to follow my bookmark link that is set up to cogsdev.org, which has ''always'' worked, mind you, it now takes me to the BB Hood image after trying to redirect to sonichu.com. In order to actually get to the site I have to google CWCKI and find a random page and then backtrack to the main page. Am I doing something horribly wrong somehow? --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:14, 18 March 2011 (PDT)

Bob Chandler

2011-03-13T07:24:06Z

Bluedeanie: /* Audio and video appearances */

: ''"Bob" redirects here. For the troll occasionally known as Bob, see [[Robert Simmons V]].''

{{quote|I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it.|Bob<ref>[[Prank calls#Call Bobby Chandler]]</ref>}}

{{quote|This ain't my time yet.|Bob laughing at death <ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily Date]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]]
[[Cole|That fuck Bob]]
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/16th [[Cherokee]])
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert (father)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}
[[Image:DemonicLumberjack.jpg|thumb|'''The Internet Lumberjack''' in his final form]]
'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) is the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's intense dislike of him and Bob's infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]].<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> His nickname, "the [[Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]], due to him being somewhat concerned with Chris's current status as a [[virgin with rage]], and the fact that he occasionally tries to guilt him into being more considerate by bringing up the fact that he's devoted 29 years to raising a selfish manchild. Of course, Chris is unfazed by these attempts.

To date, Bob has conversed with numerous trolls. Thanks to his tendency to yap on, more information has become known.

==Biography==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|"I seen crosses burnin', fella."]]

===Service and education===

Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in [[Wikipedia:Alabama|Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

Bob was drafted after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones, and got to visit the beautiful [[CWCville|North Korea]]. When he got out, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn his engineering degree.<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===

Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] for forty years. Using skills learned in the Army, he built for the company their first automatic [something] (it's unclear what Bob says here). General Electric heard about it and offered him a job in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that because of Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon" (despite video game technology actually being pioneered by [[Wikipedia:Ralph Baer|Ralph Baer]]).<ref name="Barbara" />

As examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, he automated a steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for papers into the form of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. A fact that both Chris and Barbara have bragged about is that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water [container] molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

===World consciousness===

[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob learning how to cut that Internet down]]

On the other hand, Bob himself is proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he is "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world.<ref name="About" />

Speaking of the world, Bob has been interested in it since he was 10, and has become very world conscious as a believer in the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]. He began by collecting foreign stamps in the [[1930s]]. He has collected 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> Bob traveled the world in his day for business and [[china|pleasure]].

Politically, Bob identifies as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s fictional country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Health and late life===

[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]
[[File:Heart15.jpg|thumb|Computer-generated model of Bob's near-shattered heart.]]
Bob lives on social security and General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He hasn't really had people to chat with (he loves to ramble if the person shows some slight interest), so he sits around, listens to music,<ref name="PSN 37" /> and takes care of the garden inside the greenhouse. With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he goes to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob has had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. He wears an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> He attributes his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. Let's hope that Chris hasn't inherited the traits for this longevity. His uncles and grandfather all lived to 90-100.<ref name="PSN 37" />

A major question in the [[troll]] community is what will happen if and when Bob dies before Barbara.

===What about Bob?===

[[Image:Bobbetter.jpg|thumb|"Now will you PLEASE let me get back to God of War 3???"]]

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter]]ed that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]. Chris seemed confident that his father would come home shortly. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris does not seem to grasp the seriousness of heart failure in an elderly man]]. Bob is the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject. Information about his condition was hard to come by, as we only learn something [[Ego|once it has inconvenienced Chris enough for him to come online and complain about it]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congestive_heart_failure Congenital Heart Failure on Wikipedia]</ref> But again, Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a serious matter.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats to a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. But no mention of his ailing father.

A poster on [[/cwc/| /cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/9/9b/Bobbetter.jpg screen capture] of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you." [[Image:King.jpg|thumb|"Know this, Robert. Thy demise shall be a Whopper!"]]Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." He is clearly neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hasn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well," with no further elaboration on his condition.

Whether he is on the road to recovery or has returned home to die is still unknown. If Bob is dying, it is highly unlikely that Chris would be told. Apart from one-line responses from Chris, the best way to stay updated on Bob's health might be to [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/ read the Charlottesville] and [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/greenenews/ Greene County obituaries]. And God help him if he [[Aunt Corrina|dies on pancake day]].

Bob is currently out of the hospital, living at home and back to [[prank calls|arguing with himself]].

On 10 August, [[Matthew Noble call|a phone call]] took place between Bob and Alec Benson Leary, who posed as an employee of [[GAMe PLACe|The GAMe PLACe]]. Discussing Chris's June trespassing citation, it was discovered that Chris hadn't told his parents about the incident (surprise, surprise). Chris posted [[6 June 2010|a whiny video]] about the incident the night that it happened, which remained on his YouTube channel until he purged all of his videos on 22 November. Yeah, that's how negligent Bob is.

On 19 August, it was revealed that the elderly man with heart failure is still [[Coffee Place|eating breakfast at Burger King]] on a daily basis. The Grim Reaper is said to have been pleased by this news.

On 21 September, Bob claimed in a [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|prank call]] that he may have been a member of the KKK and threatens the prank callers with this knowledge, only to be laughed at. Earlier in the call, Bob spent time explaining his educational and work background, and how he had fulfilled his service to the public.

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob is out of contact<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> with his son [[David Alan Chandler]] and daughter [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], who both lead successful careers. For example, Chris did not know he had a niece named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old.<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

To continue with the music theme, Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara has not had sex with Bob for at least two decades. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> This is possibly due to an attempt to avoid spawning another subhuman freak like Chris.

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole will celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> Cole said that he and Bob share a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hates Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knows Cole doesn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet!
I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your [[Nintendo]]."]]

Bob wishes Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris, but he thinks (and rightly so) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's been in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

After several occasions where trolls have communicated with Bob personally and found him to be quite pleasant and amicable, it's become obvious that he wasn't "starting arguments", as Chris asserts. More likely he was criticizing Chris's behavior and encouraging to better himself, which would involve work, which Chris fears and despises.

Bob has reportedly explained to him that he has taken care of his [[autistic]] ass for 29 years and so Chris should be more grateful. Chris couldn't give two shits, figuring that his father is ''obligated'' to take care of him, seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Chris will run for his father's aid when he feels threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seems to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seems to share Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

In line with that thread of distraction and self-delusion, Bob actually believes that Chris has accomplished significant goals in his adult life.<ref name="Prank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</ref>

He may eventually get past that notion, given that he continues to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob has been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref>

==Audio and video appearances==

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself.

* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26 - 0:36 in the news report of Chris's [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the [[Tour of Christian's House|house tour video]], (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Thehell.jpg|"The hell is this crap?"
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2010.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|The epitome of handsome.
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|Notice Chris's discomfort.
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|Bob won't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|Bob: fashion icon.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|When Bob isn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoys gardening.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|Bob will haunt your dreams tonight.
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|Calm down Bob, I think you're scaring Snorlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Kellie Andes

2011-03-12T03:45:09Z

Bluedeanie:

[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (Circa 2000).]]
{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Andes''' was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are dating, and not for retarded man-children and the patient women who tolerate them.

Kellie is living proof of how sad Chris's life really is. In a sad, vain attempt to remind himself of how his life used to be, Chris has remained largely unchanged since high school (when he had the most female friends he'll ever have), while Kellie has actually moved on and gotten herself a job, a husband and two children.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel|Kel's]] name. In [[Sonichu 10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) shows some more of his inability to get over women.

==Kellie on Chris==

In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|recent correspondence]] Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie, laying it down}}

Considering she married a handsome straight guy who has good social skills, a deep voice, a muscular physique, and a job where he saves lives instead of mooching off welfare, she isn't kidding. He also happens to be a [[niggo]], but that has nothing to do with it.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.
Image:0562-KellieAndesAllAround.jpg|Kellie and Domonic Jones at the [[Manchester High School]] prom. Kellie went on to marry a firefighter and have two children, while Domonic became a successful basketball player. Chris drew comics in his bedroom for ten years.
Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|Kellie and [[Chris]]
Image:0577-KellieWSchuSweater.jpg|Wearing a Sonichu sweater, probably out of guilt for [[Chris|The Autistic kid]]
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

<center>{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}</center>

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Talk:Main Page

2010-12-18T00:18:58Z

Bluedeanie: /* Slight Error */

Carlos Chantor

2010-12-12T07:42:24Z

Bluedeanie:

{{quote|Before you contacted me again to renew our relationship, I was aiming towards selling myself out as a Male Escort to earn money. I tried applying with C-Ville's "Naughty & Nice" Escort Service; they did not take me. And I printed and discreetly passed out cards, along with posting an ad on escorts.com, under the new alias of '''"Carlos Chantor"''''(DO NOT Tell anyone else of my new alias).|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 6]].}}

[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|"Experienced for Her Pleasure."]]

'''Carlos Chantor''' was Chris's alias during his short-lived career as a male escort.

Chris came up with the alias after his first break up with his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. He tried joining with [[Charlottesville]]'s "Naughty and Nice" escort services, but after being told that there was no market for [[duck|bent]], [[autism|autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgins with rage]], he made a profile (now deleted) at '''Escorts.com''', apparently unaware that most male prostitutes belong to a rather [[Gay|rough trade]]. Interestingly, on the Escort.com profile Chris checked that he was comfortable with every fetish available (except the ones he found too [[homosexual]]). After a [[Prank calls#Carlos Chantor Call|certain prank call inquired about watersports]] however, he quickly reverted his decision and removed watersports as a fetish. He also distributed cards promoting himself as an escort around Charlottesville. This shows once again that Chris does not care about sex as an act between two lovers but a way to lose his virginity, as well as get a quick buck.

For some reason, no one has called Chris up.

== Escorts.com profile ==

=== About Me ===
[[Virgin|Experienced]] for Her Pleasure.

Hey, Ladies. I am a cool dude to hang with, and I can make you [[CWC's Message for Ivy|feel good emotionally]] and [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|show you a fun time]]. I enjoy a lot of things; [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|I'll let you know when it's going too far]]. Give me [[Prank calls|a call]] to hook up (434 area code only).

=== My Details ===
[[File:CarlosChantor.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The explicit personal details of notorious womanizer, Carlos Chantor.]]
* '''Sex''': Male
* '''Date of Birth''': 2/24/[[1982]] (age 28)
* '''Orientation''': [[Homos|Straight]] Male
* '''Ethnicity''': [[Chris and race|Caucasian]]
* '''Body Type:''' [[Obesity|Average (height/weight proportional)]]
* '''Height''': 5 feet 10 inches (178 cm)
* '''Hair Color''': [[Hair|Brown]]
* '''Eye Color''': [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
* '''Smoking''': [[Tobacky|Do Not Smoke]]
* '''Drinking''': [[Alcohol|Occasionally]]
* '''Drug Use''': Never use them
* '''Language Spoken''': [[Chris and English|English]]
* '''Secondary Language''': [[Spanish]]

[[File:Randy-trailer-park-boys.jpg|right|thumb|He's not the only one selling sex for cheeseburgers.]]

===My Location===
*'''Home''': [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]

===My Availability===
*'''Available as a(n)''': [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Accommodating Male]], [[Patti|Master]]/[[Julie Reveals Herself|Slave]], [[Butt garments|Model]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Masseuse]], [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_Undressing|Stripper]]/[[WelcometoBollywood|Dancer]], [[Barbara|Escort]]
* '''Available For''': Outcall, [[14 Branchland Court|Incall]]
* '''Management''': Independent

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Websites]]

CWC Fighter

2010-11-28T20:31:36Z

Bluedeanie:

[[File:Tinychunli.jpg|thumb|150px|This Chun-Li can beat the living crap out of Chris.]]
"'''CWC Fighter'''" is a video from 18 [[August 2009]] in which [[Chris Chan]] shows us his "martial arts" moves.

==Video==

{{quote|Watch It, I have a little [[Wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]] within me.|Official description}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Fighter
| image = {{#ev:youtube|IXMP1XmD-cg}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 18 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Crazy.png]] Crazy
| Shirt = [[Image:redshirt.png]] Red shirt
| previous = [[Light_His_Mind's_Darkest_Hour| Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]
| next = [[One_Blessing,_and_One_Curse| One Blessing, and One Curse]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[''A camera is pointed at the back of Chris's [[Son-chu|blue stationwagon]] parked in the [[14 Branchland Court|yard]]. A riding [[Father Call|lawnmower]] is visible. Chris walks into the frame, [[Chris and fashion|dressed]] in a bright red T-shirt with an undersized denim vest and blue jeans. He also wears his [[Medallion of fail|Sonichu medallion]]. He stands, legs apart, hands clasped in front of him, eyes closed as if in prayer. He is possibly [[Chris and religion|invoking]] some kind of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|ungodly power]]. He brings his hands to his sides, and with a crazed look he swings his right arm backwards. Aiming to either side of his body, he makes an upwards, poking motion with his left hand, then his right. His fingers are fully extended. He does the same thing, except straight ahead. He punches the air and twirls around, his back to the camera. He makes an awkward spinning kick and recovers ungracefully. He kicks at the air with his other leg, arms akimbo and head cocked to one side. He takes a step back and does two pitiful punching motions aimed at nowhere in particular. He attempts an uppercut and fails horribly at it, vaguely resembling a [[Chris Loses It|wounded animal]]. Chris punches some more air in random directions, but with much, much less force than when he started 20 seconds ago. Chris crouches down and does a very, very slow spinning kick where that looks particularly ineffectual. Chris returns to the camera, flashes a victory sign, and states:'']

I've got a little Chun-Li, withiiiiin me.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = FALCCCCCCCCCONNNNNNN CHRIS
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GS_z-kM64rM}}
| Stardate = 20 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/puppetchaos puppetchaos]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = (VGM) Remix
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Ballet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YKXtDWOuL4U}}
| Stardate = 21 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ohhhmyaxels OhhhMyAxels]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = ?????
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = SUPER CWC FIGHTER 2 ALPHA: THE THIRD STRIKE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Uy2z-fi9yec}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PhallusKnifeFight PhallusKnifeFight]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan can swim.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vSkP9E_6bMw}}
| Stardate = 25 May 2010
| Maker = TheMammothWasHere
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[CWC Fighter]] ALPHA 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sMT5Xb6IshE}}
| Stardate = 14 March 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/DrButler DrButler]
| Subject = [[Don't Mess With Me]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CCR: Chris Chan Revolution
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bVkzCzTh-7o}}
| Stardate = 5 October 2010
| Maker = GoldPlatedDildo
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = DDR Remix
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Nothing Keeps the Troll Hunter Down
| video = {{#ev:youtube|q6Q96v5eP0Y}}
| Stardate = 27 November 2010
| Maker = TheHunterOfTrolls
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info = Our new enemy?
}}
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Chris Chan Lee|Wikipedia article on Chris Chan Lee]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]|nextlink=[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

File talk:Lapse.gif

2010-11-23T18:39:05Z

Bluedeanie:

{{Not A Forum}}
Dear god that scared the hell out of me.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 13:10, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

If you had started with the three-year-old version, the change would be even more disturbing. Maybe a more extensive lapse would be useful. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:58, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

His hairline doesn't change, it only shrinks. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 18:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

I haven't laughed this hard at Chris in months. Thank you, whoever created this. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 04:00, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
* You're welcome! --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:25, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

Technically, this is a morph, not a lapse. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 06:34, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
* I suppose it is one age-wise. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 06:24, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

'''AAAAAAAAHHH!''' God damnit!! That'll replace the demons in my nightmares.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 14:55, 22 September 2010 (PDT)

Perhaps a new, more updated version of this is in order? Add a REALLY recent picture at the end of the morph? That'd be twenty times as terrifying, no doubt. --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:39, 23 November 2010 (PST)

Chris and money

2010-11-22T00:16:17Z

Bluedeanie: /* In the comic */

{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris's only source of income is the $809 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,708 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref> This payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> In addition, Chris and his family get [[Wikipedia:Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program|SNAP]] money every month - more commonly known as "food stamps."

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, [[Chris_and_His_Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].}}

[[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] has been encouraging his son to remain unemployed, since he believes that Chris will earn more money from his monthly tugboat than from getting a job. However, this assumption is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260 - $15,100 annually. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3); it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement comes from either delusion or knowing that his son is a [[fail]]ure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his [[Barb|coddling]] [[Bob|parents]] are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they have managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him fast food on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on [[list of Chris's video games|frivolities]] and [[sex toys|useless stuff]], as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that Bob and Barb will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that his [[target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34]]</ref> Again, this demonstrates his idiocy since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.

==Credit cards==
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the PSN store, but his bill for PSN downloads increases by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails_2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By then, Bob Chandler had had to step in, forcing Chris to put the brakes on his spending and pay down his debt according to a regular schedule. Chris, unaware of or uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit-card debt accrues vast amounts of interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

In July of 2010, it was revealed by Chris in an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]] that Bob has assisted in managing his raging debt, and now Bob gets another $100 out of the monthly tugboat in compensation. This act of parental scapegoating had potentially cleared Chris's future to be free of bad credit and crushing debt, had he not already accuired another credit card, without his parent's permission or knowledge. He is already paying $50 a month on it, suggesting that he has had it for some time, as well as returning to his habit of paying only the minimum. The countdown to his next act of financial dumbassery begins (but his play of the Autism Card was immediate)...

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, a la North Korea.

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is in the United States, and states, let alone cities, while having considerable power, cannot print their own money. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states used to issue their own money - when they were colonies, and during hard times like the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

==In other works==
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to frution in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as a building ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20]]</ref> Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for [[virgin]]s. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping.
== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, à-la the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|24]]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

Chris also seems to not understand that [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|if the health department, of Greene County, sees that TV show, that he put on the damn TV, they could be evicted, and he would have to move out]].

== Best Buy Mastercard ==

In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it was revealed by Bob himself that Chris not only has a Mastercard charge account acquired through Best Buy, but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had somehow used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of [[the GAMe PLACe]], claims that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from Chris is unknown. Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point.

Bob continues that the resulting transactions may have ruined Chris' credit rating (though that ship has ''long'' since fucking sailed), and, in a disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seems to use this damning information to try to make Chris' latest brush with the [[Law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what has actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* Trolls have achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme has, just by chance, hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him, mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there, and is now blaming his crippling debt on [[Trolls]], in another transparent attempt to not have to take responsibility.

In the [[Jackie_E-mails_7|Jackie Emails]], it was discovered that Chris took out the Mastercard without his parent's permission. He only told them about it when he received two bounced check fees that would show up on his bank statement, which his father is now actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to pay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled: He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his debit card. Chris is now paid only in Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to occur any more debt. The prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities [[Jackie_E-mails_8|stressed him out]].

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

File talk:Kroger sighting.jpg

2010-11-15T17:33:09Z

Bluedeanie:

Kroger's does sell Hungry Man dinners. I know the ones near me here in Richmond, VA are starting to remodel. And they also sell Sushi & sake. [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 09:11, 11 November 2010 (PST)
*Shouldn't it be noted that this is probably some way to take advantage of eating for free on Veterans day? This is going on Speculation.[[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 11:47, 11 November 2010 (PST)
** Anyone else disturbed at this? I'm for mocking the stuff he releases or when he makes a public idiot out of himself, but randomly taking pictures of him when he's sitting around doing nothing is kinda pushing it. [[User:Supersheep|Supersheep]] 19:29, 11 November 2010 (EST)
***Seconded. Really, everything is a bit much. Having a wiki with srs bsns rules is too much. Transcribing his every word is too much. Pretty much everyone here really takes shit too far. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:35, 11 November 2010 (PST)
****WELCOME TO THE CWCKI HAVE FUN LOLOLOL -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 16:45, 11 November 2010 (PST)
****I forgot the CWCki's motto was "WHERE NO SHIT IS TO MINOR (Except when we doccument Chris in the wild, that's just taking it too far)". --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 17:40, 11 November 2010 (PST)
*I just realized this is the first update on Chris since the Manchester 10 year High School reunion occurred (November 08, 2010)... did he go, or what? --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 02:54, 12 November 2010 (PST)
*Is this photo nessescarily achieving something? I mean, we have a ton of pictures of Chris, and this one is very poor quality, not to say it's worthless, it's just that it dosent feel like it's needed. --[[User:Jakkarra|Jakkarra]] 14:35, 12 November 2010 (PST)
**When you're addicted to cocaine, you'll always try to snort the empty wrapper when you don't have anything else available. Or maybe that's chocolate i duno lulz XD [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:04, 12 November 2010 (PST)
***It is a rare sighting of the manchild in the wild! Outside the confines of the dungeon on Branchland Ct. [[User:Mr Pants|Mr Pants]] 16:43, 12 November 2010 (PST)

*Enough material here to warrent an article me thinks. ''WHERE NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR''--[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 12:27, 13 November 2010 (PST)
**Is there a Chris in the wild article it could be added to? If not, it could provide links to all the offline sightings of Chris at Fridays after Five, the coffee place article, the mall sighting, etc. [[User:Whispsonichu|Whispsonichu]] 05:34, 14 November 2010 (PST)
***I agree with the notion of adding it to a "Chris in the Wild" article, (or creating one if no such article exists, which a quick search seems to confirm.) It is at least mildly interesting whenever he gets encountered outside of Branchland or his select few haunts, but not ''every'' time is noteworthy or relevant on its own. This seems like a fair compromise between what seems to be two camps on this issue: those who agree that NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR and those who agree that some shit just isn't quite relevant. We can include this information on sort of a standing, running list of times Chris has been spotted, but it's not sitting on its own, either, which I don't think it really deserves to since ultimately all that happened was Chris sat in a grocery store and ate a pound of frozen shitty processed food. Sound agreeable to anyone? --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 09:32, 15 November 2010 (PST)

File talk:Kroger sighting.jpg

2010-11-15T17:32:21Z

Bluedeanie:

Kroger's does sell Hungry Man dinners. I know the ones near me here in Richmond, VA are starting to remodel. And they also sell Sushi & sake. [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 09:11, 11 November 2010 (PST)
*Shouldn't it be noted that this is probably some way to take advantage of eating for free on Veterans day? This is going on Speculation.[[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 11:47, 11 November 2010 (PST)
** Anyone else disturbed at this? I'm for mocking the stuff he releases or when he makes a public idiot out of himself, but randomly taking pictures of him when he's sitting around doing nothing is kinda pushing it. [[User:Supersheep|Supersheep]] 19:29, 11 November 2010 (EST)
***Seconded. Really, everything is a bit much. Having a wiki with srs bsns rules is too much. Transcribing his every word is too much. Pretty much everyone here really takes shit too far. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:35, 11 November 2010 (PST)
****WELCOME TO THE CWCKI HAVE FUN LOLOLOL -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 16:45, 11 November 2010 (PST)
****I forgot the CWCki's motto was "WHERE NO SHIT IS TO MINOR (Except when we doccument Chris in the wild, that's just taking it too far)". --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 17:40, 11 November 2010 (PST)
*I just realized this is the first update on Chris since the Manchester 10 year High School reunion occurred (November 08, 2010)... did he go, or what? --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 02:54, 12 November 2010 (PST)
*Is this photo nessescarily achieving something? I mean, we have a ton of pictures of Chris, and this one is very poor quality, not to say it's worthless, it's just that it dosent feel like it's needed. --[[User:Jakkarra|Jakkarra]] 14:35, 12 November 2010 (PST)
**When you're addicted to cocaine, you'll always try to snort the empty wrapper when you don't have anything else available. Or maybe that's chocolate i duno lulz XD [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:04, 12 November 2010 (PST)
***It is a rare sighting of the manchild in the wild! Outside the confines of the dungeon on Branchland Ct. [[User:Mr Pants|Mr Pants]] 16:43, 12 November 2010 (PST)

*Enough material here to warrent an article me thinks. ''WHERE NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR''--[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 12:27, 13 November 2010 (PST)
**Is there a Chris in the wild article it could be added to? If not, it could provide links to all the offline sightings of Chris at Fridays after Five, the coffee place article, the mall sighting, etc. [[User:Whispsonichu|Whispsonichu]] 05:34, 14 November 2010 (PST)
***I agree with the notion of adding it to a "Chris in the Wild" article, (or creating one if no such article exists, which a quick search seems to confirm.) It is at least mildly interesting whenever he gets encountered outside of Branchland or his select few haunts, but not ''every'' time is noteworthy or relevant on its own. This seems like a fair compromise between what seems to be two camps on this issue: those who agree that NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR and those that agree that some shit just isn't quite relevant. We can include this information on sort of a standing, running list of times Chris has been spotted, but it's not sitting on its own, either, which I don't think it really deserves to since ultimately all that happened was Chris sat in a grocery store and ate a pound of frozen shitty processed food. Sound agreeable to anyone? --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 09:32, 15 November 2010 (PST)

Talk:WeighIn

2010-10-26T03:49:08Z

Bluedeanie:

Chris weighing himself???
Is he gonna start a weight loss plan for Jackie?

:Sign your posts and take the topic to Speculation for a discussion (admins are cracking down on forum-like posts). --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 16:18, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

Not enough data to work with unfortunately. We have no idea how accurate that scale is. The second he steps off of it, it could read -40 pounds. Secondly a person could put all their weight on the balls of their feet with that type of scale and screw with the measurement (you should have your weight on your heels). Sucks. This could have been good material to work with. [[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 19:08, 25 October 2010 (PDT)
* I've speculated on the Chris and Health talk page that its because his muscles have nearly completely atrophied. Therefore, he wouldn't weight so much. --[[User:IconOfEvi|IconOfEvi]] 20:39, 25 October 2010 (PDT)
* I'd argue for one of these explanations as well. I'll be the first to admit that I am a dumpy guy who isn't in very good shape, but there's no way in hell I weigh 12-15 lbs. more than CWC by legitimate means. Granted I am about 3/4 of an inch shorter than him by most estimates, but still. So either I am heavier by virtue of actually still having muscle mass left in my body, or I basically need to go jump off a cliff now because that's just embarrassing :( --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 20:48, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:WeighIn

2010-10-26T03:48:44Z

Bluedeanie:

Chris weighing himself???
Is he gonna start a weight loss plan for Jackie?

:Sign your posts and take the topic to Speculation for a discussion (admins are cracking down on forum-like posts). --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 16:18, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

Not enough data to work with unfortunately. We have no idea how accurate that scale is. The second he steps off of it, it could read -40 pounds. Secondly a person could put all their weight on the balls of their feet with that type of scale and screw with the measurement (you should have your weight on your heels). Sucks. This could have been good material to work with. [[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 19:08, 25 October 2010 (PDT)
* I've speculated on the Chris and Health talk page that its because his muscles have nearly completely atrophied. Therefore, he wouldn't weight so much. --[[User:IconOfEvi|IconOfEvi]] 20:39, 25 October 2010 (PDT)
* I'd argue for one of these explanations as well. I'll be the first to admit that I am a dumpy guy who isn't in very good shape, but there's no way in hell I weigh 12-15 lbs. more than CWC by virtue of legitimate means. Granted I am about 3/4 of an inch shorter than him by most estimates, but still. So either I am heavier by virtue of actually still having muscle mass left in my body, or I basically need to go jump off a cliff now because that's just embarrassing :( --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 20:48, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

1980s

2010-10-09T23:29:19Z

Bluedeanie:

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Chris and his mom in the eighties.]]
[[Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris in '''1982''', bearing a striking resemblance to the baby from ''Eraserhead'', but less cute.]]
[[Image:0002-1-Baby_Chris_and_Mommy.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris and Barbara.]]
[[Image:0004-ChristopherDec1985.jpg|thumb|Chris and Barbara in '''1985'''.]]
[[Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg|thumb|'''1986''']]
[[Image:0008-ChristopherShopping12-1986.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''1986'''.]]
[[Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|thumb|'''1987''', Chris turns 5.]]
[[Image:0031-1-Chris_on_Pony.jpg|thumb|Poor pony.]]
[[Image:0031-EasterChristopher.jpg|thumb|Twenty years later, Chris himself would have a try at the [[Bunny Hop]].]]

The '''1980s''' were the decade in which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was born, under the name Christopher Weston Chandler (he wouldn't change his name until [[1994]]). According to Chris, he had a lot of trouble growing up, and even coped with a prolonged episode of muteness.

Source material referring to the 1980s is scarce, and this article is mostly based on statements made by Chris at a later age, and on image material.

==1980==
The year [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] got married.
===Events of 1980===
* Around this time, [[Cole]] moves away.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref>
* 7 June - Bob and Barbara get married.<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself#Family matters]]</ref><ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]</ref>

==1981==
The last year of peace for Bob and Barbara Chandler. Unluckily for them, the happy couple filled their time with lots of unprotected love-making. During the second half on this year, Barbara would be pregnant.
===Events of 1981===
* c. 26 May - Bob and Barbara Chandler have sweaty old people sex. [[Christopher Weston Chandler]] is conceived.
*c. 26 November - Barbara's last chance to abort Chris.
==1982==
The year that began the entire sorry saga.
===Events of 1982===
* 24 February - Christopher Weston Chandler is born around 5:30 a.m. at [[Wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]] in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref>[[Chris_on_Wikipedia]]</ref>
* 24 February - Chris is brought back to the Chandler [[house]]hold in [[Ruckersville]].<ref>According to Christian in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>
* April - Chris allegedly speaks his first word: "[[Niggos|monkey]]."<ref name="Song and Wikipedia">[[Song of Christian]] and [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>
* 13 October - [[Sarah Hammer]] is born.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story]]</ref>

==1983==
Chris has stated that in '''1983''', he was abused by his [[babysitter]], "starting" his [[autism]]. On other occasions, however, Chris has said that he is aware of autism being a hereditary disease, making his "acquisition" of autism impossible.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> We can nonetheless assume that the abuse Christopher suffered in 1983 was traumatic.<ref>First statement was done in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>

===Events of 1983===
* 24 February - Christopher's 1st birthday.
* August - Christopher's autism allegedly "begins." He claims the reason was an evil [[babysitter]] named [[Roach]], who locked him in a room. He becomes mute.<ref name="Song and Wikipedia" />

==1984==
In '''1984''', Chris lived his life in [[Richmond]] as a mute toddler. He himself declares that he gave his parents a lot of trouble, and he screeched a lot. It is possibly indicated that his parents held this against him at a later age, and didn't really like caring for the [[autistic]] child they had created themselves.

===Events of 1984===
* This year - Chris first meets his childhood friend and [[gal pal]], Sarah Hammer.
* 24 February - Christopher's 2nd birthday.

==1985==
In '''1985''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler.

===Events of 1985===
* 24 February - Christopher's 3rd birthday.
* April - Chris has his picture taken holding a leaf.
* December - Chris and Barbara have their picture taken with Santa Claus.

==1986==
In '''1986''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler.

===Events of 1986===
* 24 February - Christopher's 4th birthday.
* June - Chris has his picture taken at what seems to be a zoo.
* December - Chris has his picture taken in front of a bathroom, and at a shopping mall.

==1987==
In '''1987''', Chris starts attending [[Greene County Primary School]]. It isn't known for sure if he attended pre-kindergarten before then.

===Events of 1987===
* 24 February - Christopher's 5th birthday. A paper hat is made in his honor.
* August/September - Chris begins kindergarten at [[Greene County Primary School]].

==1988==
In '''1988''', Chris starts first grade at Greene County Primary School, but he is still mute. Late [[1980s]], Chris joins the [[Chris and religion|Cub Scouts]].
===Events of 1988===
* Date unknown - [[Minor_Family_Members#Carol_Suzanne_Chandler|Carol Chandler]] wins the McShane Prize.
* 24 February - Christopher's 6th birthday.
* 17 March - [[Patti]] is born.<ref>As can be read on the doghouse in Sonichu #6: [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic7.htm]</ref>
* August/September - Chris begins first grade at Greene County Primary School.

==1989==
In '''1989''', helped by the language training at [[James Madison University]], Christopher starts talking again whilst reading a Gobot package.<ref>According to Christian in the Song of Christian video.</ref>.

===Events of 1989===
* Unknown - Chris claims that he had a dream that in which he saw himself with a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], and working in an office.
* 24 February - Christopher's 7th birthday.
* August/September - Chris enters second grade at Greene County Primary School.
* December - The English conductor of the Regency Square Bear Band, Leonard Bearstein, mistakes Christopher's name for "Christian". According to Chris, this stuck, and would inspire his [[Christopher's name change|name-change]] in [[1994]],<ref name="dvd1">[[:Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|DVD, note 1]]</ref> though other sources state that this happened in [[1992]].
* 25 December - Chris gets his second gaming system, a [[Nintendo]] Game Boy, for Christmas.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

1980s

2010-10-09T23:28:40Z

Bluedeanie:

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Chris and his mom in the eighties.]]
[[Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris in '''1982''', bearing a striking resemblance to the baby from ''Eraserhead'', but less cute.]]
[[Image:0002-1-Baby_Chris_and_Mommy.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris and Barbara.]]
[[Image:0004-ChristopherDec1985.jpg|thumb|Chris and Barbara in '''1985'''.]]
[[Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg|thumb|'''1986''']]
[[Image:0008-ChristopherShopping12-1986.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''1986'''.]]
[[Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|thumb|'''1987''', Chris turns 5.]]
[[Image:0031-1-Chris_on_Pony.jpg|thumb|Poor pony.]]
[[Image:0031-EasterChristopher.jpg|thumb|Twenty years later, Chris himself would have a try at the [[Bunny Hop]].]]

The '''1980s''' were the decade in which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was born, under the name Christopher Weston Chandler (he wouldn't change his name until [[1994]]). According to Chris, he had a lot of trouble growing up, and even coped with a prolonged episode of muteness.

Source material referring to the 1980s is scarce, and this article is mostly based on statements made by Chris at a later age, and on image material.

==1980==
The year [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] got married.
===Events of 1980===
* Around this time, [[Cole]] moves away.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref>
* 7 June - Bob and Barbara get married.<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself#Family matters]]</ref><ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]</ref>

==1981==
The last year of peace for Bob and Barbara Chandler. Unluckily for them, the happy couple filled their time with lots of unprotected love-making. During the second half on this year, Barbara would be pregnant.
===Events of 1981===
* c. 26 May - Bob and Barbara Chandler have sweaty old people sex. [[Christopher Weston Chandler]] is conceived.
*c. 26 November - Barbara's last chance to abort Chris.
==1982==
The year that began the entire sorry saga.
===Events of 1982===
* 24 February - Christopher Weston Chandler is born around 5:30 a.m. at [[Wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]] in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref>[[Chris_on_Wikipedia]]</ref>
* 24 February - Chris is brought back to the Chandler [[house]]hold in [[Ruckersville]].<ref>According to Christian in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>
* April - Chris allegedly speaks his first word: "[[Niggos|monkey]]."<ref name="Song and Wikipedia">[[Song of Christian]] and [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>
* 13 October - [[Sarah Hammer]] is born.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story]]</ref>

==1983==
Chris has stated that in ''1983'', he was abused by his [[babysitter]], "starting" his [[autism]]. On other occasions, however, Chris has said that he is aware of autism being a hereditary disease, making his "acquisition" of autism impossible.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> We can nonetheless assume that the abuse Christopher suffered in 1983 was traumatic.<ref>First statement was done in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>

===Events of 1983===
* 24 February - Christopher's 1st birthday.
* August - Christopher's autism allegedly "begins." He claims the reason was an evil [[babysitter]] named [[Roach]], who locked him in a room. He becomes mute.<ref name="Song and Wikipedia" />

==1984==
In '''1984''', Chris lived his life in [[Richmond]] as a mute toddler. He himself declares that he gave his parents a lot of trouble, and he screeched a lot. It is possibly indicated that his parents held this against him at a later age, and didn't really like caring for the [[autistic]] child they had created themselves.

===Events of 1984===
* This year - Chris first meets his childhood friend and [[gal pal]], Sarah Hammer.
* 24 February - Christopher's 2nd birthday.

==1985==
In '''1985''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler.

===Events of 1985===
* 24 February - Christopher's 3rd birthday.
* April - Chris has his picture taken holding a leaf.
* December - Chris and Barbara have their picture taken with Santa Claus.

==1986==
In '''1986''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler.

===Events of 1986===
* 24 February - Christopher's 4th birthday.
* June - Chris has his picture taken at what seems to be a zoo.
* December - Chris has his picture taken in front of a bathroom, and at a shopping mall.

==1987==
In '''1987''', Chris starts attending [[Greene County Primary School]]. It isn't known for sure if he attended pre-kindergarten before then.

===Events of 1987===
* 24 February - Christopher's 5th birthday. A paper hat is made in his honor.
* August/September - Chris begins kindergarten at [[Greene County Primary School]].

==1988==
In '''1988''', Chris starts first grade at Greene County Primary School, but he is still mute. Late [[1980s]], Chris joins the [[Chris and religion|Cub Scouts]].
===Events of 1988===
* Date unknown - [[Minor_Family_Members#Carol_Suzanne_Chandler|Carol Chandler]] wins the McShane Prize.
* 24 February - Christopher's 6th birthday.
* 17 March - [[Patti]] is born.<ref>As can be read on the doghouse in Sonichu #6: [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic7.htm]</ref>
* August/September - Chris begins first grade at Greene County Primary School.

==1989==
In '''1989''', helped by the language training at [[James Madison University]], Christopher starts talking again whilst reading a Gobot package.<ref>According to Christian in the Song of Christian video.</ref>.

===Events of 1989===
* Unknown - Chris claims that he had a dream that in which he saw himself with a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], and working in an office.
* 24 February - Christopher's 7th birthday.
* August/September - Chris enters second grade at Greene County Primary School.
* December - The English conductor of the Regency Square Bear Band, Leonard Bearstein, mistakes Christopher's name for "Christian". According to Chris, this stuck, and would inspire his [[Christopher's name change|name-change]] in [[1994]],<ref name="dvd1">[[:Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|DVD, note 1]]</ref> though other sources state that this happened in [[1992]].
* 25 December - Chris gets his second gaming system, a [[Nintendo]] Game Boy, for Christmas.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Lars Is Jivin'.MP4

2010-10-03T06:47:47Z

Bluedeanie:

[[Image:150px-Jivin.jpg‎|thumb|Lars is [[Fan:Asperchu#Jivin Pickles|Jivin]]]]

'''Lars Is Jivin'''' is an [[Chris and race|extremely racist]] video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[September 2010]]. In it, [[Chris]] addresses [[Lars]] again, comparing a toy boat he sent [[Jackie]] to a tape dispenser. Chris then decides the best way to get his point across is to abuse his [[PSEye|camera]], again. He removed the video just a few hours after uploading it. He later uploaded a new, longer version on 2 October. The extended edition includes Chris using stereotypical black words such as "yo" "mofo," holding up a picture of a black rapper and then dressing him as a turkey and using the dated racial slur "boy."

Judging by the unusual video format (Chris normally makes videos in .MOV format), and the [[Chris and camerawork|blindingly obvious jump-cuts]], it would appear Chris has actually taken some time to edit this video. Unfortunately, it's safe to say that this was to hide the fact he failed to hit the camera with the tape dispenser on the first take.

==Description==
{{quotebox|[[Random-access humor|Nothin' but a jivin' turkey gourd.]]}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars Is Jivin'
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ApWRB4iLKMM}}
| stardate = 30 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[New Address]]
| next = [[100 2261.MOV]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[''[[Stare]]s at camera with an [[angry]] look on face, cocks head, jump-cut''] Oh yeah, one more thing, Laaaaars. You know-s-you sent her the dangin' ol' boat made out of popsicle sticks and a weak [[Raincoat|condom]] wrapper for a sail. You know what she did with that? [''holds up a tape dispenser''] This your bu-

[''Jump cut, throws tape dispenser at the [[camera]]''] She threw that piece of shit away! That little piece is cheap as shit. It was so cheap, it was as cheap as that tape dispenser! [''Stares bewilderly off into space for a moment.'']

[''Another jump cut''] ... I'm out! Peace.

==Full version==
Having taken down the original video a few hours after uploading it, Chris uploaded a longer version of the video on 2 [[October 2010]]. While the final part of the video is almost identical to the original short version, Chris has slightly re-edited it.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars Is Jivin'
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ByDKIeFdHCs}}
| stardate = 2 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[I like Mary Poppins]]
| next = Current
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
''[ There is a 'sproing' noise as Chris activates the camera. He frowns and begins talking in what he doubtless believes to be a manly baritone.]''

Yo Lars, listen up yo. I got a b- I got a bigger message to tell ya! Imyaghda- I been tellin' you before, I been kinda civil, but I gotta yell it out to ya. [[jackie|JACKIE]] IS OVER YOU! You jivin' turkey! Now I tell you somethin', I tell you something' else, yo. She left you because of all the goddamn boats! ''[producing a sheet of paper] ''Now I'll read to you what she told me, and I quote: "You wasted all your money on all them stupid boats!" And you le- and she left you! Because you would ''never''... treat her right or take her out anywhere because of it. ''[Gangsta hand gesture]''

And she got fed up with all the goddamn boats all over the goddamn apartment! ''[garbling somewhat]'' Half of them not even taken out of their package! Because- because you just [[List_of_Chris's_games|bought them for the sake of buying them]]! ''[he puts down the paper and looks outraged]'' I mean, you mofo! You took -you even bought ridiculous paint and accessory kits for boats ''you didn't even own!'' [[monthly_tugboat|You paid for a whole bunch of useless stuff you're never going to use anyway]], you jivin' turkey!

Yeah, right I call you a jivin' turkey, mofo! ''[he produces another piece of paper. This one is folded in half and has a picture of a black rapper on it, although the lighting makes it impossible to distinguish whom]'' And that's what you is, yo, a jivin' turkey! ''[folds over the paper, revealing that he has drawn a yellow vegetable on the other side. A hole has been cut for the rapper's face, making it look like he is wearing an anorak.]'' Jivin', squashed, stupid old turkey! ''[he tears the paper asunder, and vacuums the shreds up, fumbling them somewhat.]''

Down the jivin' yo'self, mofo! ''[Flashes both middle fingers before turning them upside down]'' I tell you somethin' else. You ain't never gonna get her back. She's been LONG over you, [[Chris and race|boy]]! All day long, all week long. She and I are going to be ... '' ['tapping' an imaginary Jackie]'' I be tapping that sweet ass of hers. ''[Continuing to mime]'' I spank her ass because she wants it. She asked me for it! And you know what, she ain't- you ain't gonna get that request no mo', mofo! Jivin' turkey! You ever come near us, I'll ''beat'' yo' ass! ''[as he squeaks 'beat' he punches his hand]'' Beat yo' ass to the whole- the other side of the state of ''[punches his hand a few times, possibly while he tries to remember]'' Texas, where my dad went to, except for a while.

[''[[Stare]]s at camera with an [[angry]] look on face, cocks head, jump-cut''] Oh yeah, one more thing, Laaaaars. You know-s-you sent her the dangin' ol' boat made out of popsicle sticks and a weak [[Raincoat|condom]] wrapper for a sail. You know what she did with that? [''holds up a tape dispenser''] This your bo-

[''Jump cut, throws tape dispenser at the [[camera]]''] She threw that piece of shit away! That little piece is cheap as shit. It was so cheap, it was as cheap as that tape dispenser! [''Stares bewilderingly off into space for a moment.'']

[''Another jump cut''] ... I'm out! Peace.

==See also==
*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Lars' Ship has Sunk]]
*[[New Address]]
*[[Niggos]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[New Address]]|nextlink=[[100 2261.MOV]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWCville

2010-10-02T17:47:37Z

Bluedeanie: /* Flora and fauna */

[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] [[Wikipedia:North Korea|no elections]].|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]}}

<center>{{#ev:youtube|8UP6mEJrj1I}}</center>

'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is [[Chris]]'s imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.

{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
! CWCville
|-
|'''Flag''' (Ceremonial)
|[[File:Cwcflag1.png|200px|The ceremonial flag of CWCville.]]
|-
|'''Flag''' (National)
|[[File:Newflag1.png|The national flag of CWCville.]]
|-
| '''Location'''
| Virginia, U.S.
|-
| '''Coordinates'''
| Unknown, possibly the same as [[Charlottesville]] in a parallel universe, far from [[Molvanîa]]
|-
| '''Date established'''
| ''Fictional'': 1982 ''Real world:'' 2000
|-
| '''Population'''
| Moderately small. Mixed population of humans, Pokémon, and ripoffs
|-
|'''Political Ideology'''
| Chandlerian Socialism
|-
| '''Area code'''
| N/A, communication system relies on classified Nintendo DS link
|-
| '''Website'''
| None (formerly ''The CWCipedia'')
|-
| '''Also known as'''
| Chris's mind, CWCistan, The People's Democratic Republic of CWCville, The Confederate States of CWCville, Hell, etc.
|-
| '''Exports'''
| Excessive undeveloped characters, blatant ripoffs, autistic manchildren, semen
|-
| '''Current relevance'''
| Main location of events in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe
|}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville. Note that CWCville's postal code is the same as Chris's birthday, and that the address is nearly identical to his real address.]]
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|The toys that started it all.]]
[[File:cwcville1.jpg|thumb|A slightly more detailed (but no less disproportionate) drawing of CWCville.]]

CWCville is the setting of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', a city in Virginia of which Chris is Mayor for life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect his bias toward himself. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in his comic, Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref> Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the ''Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville'', in a manner similar to [http://www.korea-dpr.com/ The Democratic People's Republic of Korea].

It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[ego]] stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, [[Patti Chandler]], back to life in the form of another inhabitant. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts as defeating a whole army of huge [[Jerkops]] and resurrecting his dead dog is that in CWCville his will reigns supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world in which he holds no such power.

Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32/> In his willingness to educate, and his confusion at negative reactions to his answers, Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.

The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed [[LEGO]] kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade Sonichu items together on one table in his room. The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref> in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.

Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes", as if Chicago, for example, was less important than Charlottesville.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,<ref name=p32>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32]</ref> also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world.

==Name==

One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon cards]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym," while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)

Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're Welsh in which case it would be pronounced "cookville". In [[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]], Chris slams [[Evan]] and fails once again, spectacularly, to realize the seeds of truth buried in parodies.

==Government and politics==
{{Quote|And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING|Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]].}}

{{Quote|Chris-chan was the Mayor of CWCville. Chris-chan had always been the Mayor of CWCville.|Paraphrased from [[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]}}

[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Notice how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]].]]
[[Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved [[Chris|Mayor.]]]]
[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked. (Note the "SS" runes.)]]
[[File:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris and his men weilding the CWCville ceremonial flag while on parade in Town Square.]]

According to [[Sonichu 8]], CWCville was founded in [[1982]] by Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only [[GodJesus]] knows why it wasn't called RFCville.

According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections. There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the Cwcville Trade Center Building. Exactly how CWCville's government operates is unknown. Chandler is mayor-for-life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections, but he has also insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]], but [[Women's rights|apparently not to women]], as some women are seen [[Sonichu 8#Episode_17:_Epilogue|protesting]] in order to gain suffrage in CWCville. Voting is strictly for the Town Council (or "Board of Director Members"<ref>[[Mailbag 37]]</ref>), which holds no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the mayor is not obligated to listen to. The mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he [[Mailbag 34#The government totally sucks|inherited the town from his father]] (even though many dictatorships ''are'' hereditary, e.g. Kim Jong-il succeeded his father Kim Il-sung, and "Baby Doc" succeeded "Papa Doc" in Haiti). However, he refuses to acknowledge that this obviously makes his town a ''monarchy'', by explaining that all other government positions are voted on (even though such a practice is found in many modern monarchies, even absolute ones). It's also revealed that the name of the town was changed when it was passed from father to son, though whether or not the town was originally known as "RFCville", or something marginally less retarded is unknown, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of ''[[Wikipedia:damnatio memoriae|damnatio memoriae]]'', where all records of a traitor: statues, etc., are erased after his death). It is theorized that one day Christian will hand over the reins of governance to his daughter, [[Crystal]] Weston Chandler, in which case the town's name will not go through another change.

On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville and that he was going to CWCville Jail to get raped by [[niggos]]. The next day, 4 March 2009, Chris revoked his statement that made MAYS the new mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in his bedroom. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion of Fail]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST (and any retraction otherwise would involve him wearing the medallion to make his retraction legally binding), his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS is still the mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS snorted too much cocaine and died in his mayoral mansion, plunging the entire town into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a [[Chris_chan_Discusses|post-coup interview]] that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doublethink he was always the ruler], and that there would be no further elections.

The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random, [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Comic|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was rescinded.

Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]; in a predictable display of bureaucratic cluelessness, this important task has been somehow handed to [[Magi-Chan|an obvious closet case]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to have any oversight over a super-powered official or question or contest his findings (and [[Mailbag|disputing the authority has been futile in general]]), it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted — though sensibly, he has not written it into actual ''law'', otherwise all international observers would condemn his actions at once — that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the Comics|immunity from prosecution]]. This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.

CWCville has a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|large police force equipped with weapons and TANKS, and even an entire division of the U.S. Army]]; all these units, as said before, are above law. These groups appear frequently all around the city enforcing the laws, giving grim reminders of their existence to the common public every day, dragging the morale down. Any attempts at humor are prosecuted swiftly and severely under the draconian laws that are based on [[Chris and copyright|curious misinterpretations]] of international copyright laws. Dissident comedians who flee the city are hunted down and gruesomely executed (with the emphasis on "cute") by [[Sandy Rosechu|underage assassins]]. Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remain at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].

The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[jerkops]] and [[manajerks]] are depowered, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] is murdered by a Voltorb, four people - [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Sean]] and Mao are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in ''[[Chris|cruel and inhumane ways]]''.

The basic services are lacking: Packs of wild Pokémon roam the streets, uncontrolled. The mayor wastes precious [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]] on [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|oversize novelty drinking straws]] and [[Patti-chan|credit cards for dogs]]. As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], there were 10 homeless shelters set up: [[Mailbag 20|Chris himself]] claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house an indigent population of 900-1,800 individuals, and come equipped with free cable TV. The mayor's personal friends, such as Sonichu, live in state-sponsored, suburban housing.

'''tl;dr''' CWCville is a banana republic that makes most African countries look like the world's best places to live.

==Economy==
CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over; the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. Tobacco, unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry. With the banning of anything tobacco related, CWCville loses hundreds of millions of dollars a year in tax revenues, jobs and investment.

CWCville also mints its own currency, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, 10 C-Quarters equalling one W-Quarter, indicating that [[Honor roll|Chris has no idea what "quarter" means]]. Doubtless CWCville's disastrous budgeting decisions have led the establishment of a flourishing black market, perhaps using [[tobacky]] or [[pickles]] as currency.

==Flora and fauna==
[[Image:zapbud.jpg|thumb|Zapbud]]
CWCville, like the rest of Virginia, has a temperate climate and is suitable for large-scale agriculture. Years of economic decline, however, have seen CWCville's environs diverge greatly from those of its neighboring cities. Its forests growing thicker, and its fields returning to nature, CWCville is an excellent laboratory for the avid naturalist. Pokémon roam in the forests; zapbuds fill the fields.

Zapbuds have quickly established themselves in the surrounding ecosystem. Aside from [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu|"healing woes,"]] relatively little is known about them. They have four petals, possibly resembling buds of some sort in their normal state, and the "zap" in their name and electrical hazard symbols on their petals suggest that it might not be the brightest idea to pee in the middle of a zapbud field.

==Anomalies==

It is curious to note that while Chris reigns supreme over his imaginary town, it is still subject to the will of other people (as evidenced by BILLY MAYS' election). This gives a small insight into the workings of Chris's mind, as it implies a belief in the non-physical reality of the realm in his own mind. Any sane person could agree to "proclaim" BILLY MAYS the mayor of their fictional city with an offhand shrug, since it doesn't actually ''mean'' anything. They certainly wouldn't take it seriously enough to feel the need to clarify that they didn't mean it. The long and short of this is that Chris's creations are, to him, subject to certain metaphysical laws and structures which IRL he is unable or unwilling to comprehend. This suggests that if efforts were made to convince Chris that, for example, Sonichu had terminal cancer, Chris would either vehemently insist this is not the case, or accept it and claim that he has, in the comic, discovered a cure for cancer.
==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.onetruecwcville.net/index.php onetruecwcville.net]
* [http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCVille Chronicles]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1CIn7qkaY CWCville Mayor Campaign 2010]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyevn2-MU7I CWCville's National Anthem]

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Sonichu]]

CWCville

2010-10-02T17:45:12Z

Bluedeanie: /* Flora and fauna */

[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] [[Wikipedia:North Korea|no elections]].|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]}}

<center>{{#ev:youtube|8UP6mEJrj1I}}</center>

'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is [[Chris]]'s imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.

{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
! CWCville
|-
|'''Flag''' (Ceremonial)
|[[File:Cwcflag1.png|200px|The ceremonial flag of CWCville.]]
|-
|'''Flag''' (National)
|[[File:Newflag1.png|The national flag of CWCville.]]
|-
| '''Location'''
| Virginia, U.S.
|-
| '''Coordinates'''
| Unknown, possibly the same as [[Charlottesville]] in a parallel universe, far from [[Molvanîa]]
|-
| '''Date established'''
| ''Fictional'': 1982 ''Real world:'' 2000
|-
| '''Population'''
| Moderately small. Mixed population of humans, Pokémon, and ripoffs
|-
|'''Political Ideology'''
| Chandlerian Socialism
|-
| '''Area code'''
| N/A, communication system relies on classified Nintendo DS link
|-
| '''Website'''
| None (formerly ''The CWCipedia'')
|-
| '''Also known as'''
| Chris's mind, CWCistan, The People's Democratic Republic of CWCville, The Confederate States of CWCville, Hell, etc.
|-
| '''Exports'''
| Excessive undeveloped characters, blatant ripoffs, autistic manchildren, semen
|-
| '''Current relevance'''
| Main location of events in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe
|}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville. Note that CWCville's postal code is the same as Chris's birthday, and that the address is nearly identical to his real address.]]
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|The toys that started it all.]]
[[File:cwcville1.jpg|thumb|A slightly more detailed (but no less disproportionate) drawing of CWCville.]]

CWCville is the setting of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', a city in Virginia of which Chris is Mayor for life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect his bias toward himself. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in his comic, Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref> Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the ''Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville'', in a manner similar to [http://www.korea-dpr.com/ The Democratic People's Republic of Korea].

It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[ego]] stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, [[Patti Chandler]], back to life in the form of another inhabitant. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts as defeating a whole army of huge [[Jerkops]] and resurrecting his dead dog is that in CWCville his will reigns supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world in which he holds no such power.

Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32/> In his willingness to educate, and his confusion at negative reactions to his answers, Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.

The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed [[LEGO]] kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade Sonichu items together on one table in his room. The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref> in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.

Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes", as if Chicago, for example, was less important than Charlottesville.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,<ref name=p32>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32]</ref> also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world.

==Name==

One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon cards]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym," while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)

Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're Welsh in which case it would be pronounced "cookville". In [[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]], Chris slams [[Evan]] and fails once again, spectacularly, to realize the seeds of truth buried in parodies.

==Government and politics==
{{Quote|And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING|Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]].}}

{{Quote|Chris-chan was the Mayor of CWCville. Chris-chan had always been the Mayor of CWCville.|Paraphrased from [[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]}}

[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Notice how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]].]]
[[Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved [[Chris|Mayor.]]]]
[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked. (Note the "SS" runes.)]]
[[File:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris and his men weilding the CWCville ceremonial flag while on parade in Town Square.]]

According to [[Sonichu 8]], CWCville was founded in [[1982]] by Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only [[GodJesus]] knows why it wasn't called RFCville.

According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections. There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the Cwcville Trade Center Building. Exactly how CWCville's government operates is unknown. Chandler is mayor-for-life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections, but he has also insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]], but [[Women's rights|apparently not to women]], as some women are seen [[Sonichu 8#Episode_17:_Epilogue|protesting]] in order to gain suffrage in CWCville. Voting is strictly for the Town Council (or "Board of Director Members"<ref>[[Mailbag 37]]</ref>), which holds no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the mayor is not obligated to listen to. The mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he [[Mailbag 34#The government totally sucks|inherited the town from his father]] (even though many dictatorships ''are'' hereditary, e.g. Kim Jong-il succeeded his father Kim Il-sung, and "Baby Doc" succeeded "Papa Doc" in Haiti). However, he refuses to acknowledge that this obviously makes his town a ''monarchy'', by explaining that all other government positions are voted on (even though such a practice is found in many modern monarchies, even absolute ones). It's also revealed that the name of the town was changed when it was passed from father to son, though whether or not the town was originally known as "RFCville", or something marginally less retarded is unknown, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of ''[[Wikipedia:damnatio memoriae|damnatio memoriae]]'', where all records of a traitor: statues, etc., are erased after his death). It is theorized that one day Christian will hand over the reins of governance to his daughter, [[Crystal]] Weston Chandler, in which case the town's name will not go through another change.

On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville and that he was going to CWCville Jail to get raped by [[niggos]]. The next day, 4 March 2009, Chris revoked his statement that made MAYS the new mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in his bedroom. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion of Fail]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST (and any retraction otherwise would involve him wearing the medallion to make his retraction legally binding), his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS is still the mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS snorted too much cocaine and died in his mayoral mansion, plunging the entire town into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a [[Chris_chan_Discusses|post-coup interview]] that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doublethink he was always the ruler], and that there would be no further elections.

The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random, [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Comic|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was rescinded.

Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]; in a predictable display of bureaucratic cluelessness, this important task has been somehow handed to [[Magi-Chan|an obvious closet case]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to have any oversight over a super-powered official or question or contest his findings (and [[Mailbag|disputing the authority has been futile in general]]), it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted — though sensibly, he has not written it into actual ''law'', otherwise all international observers would condemn his actions at once — that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the Comics|immunity from prosecution]]. This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.

CWCville has a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|large police force equipped with weapons and TANKS, and even an entire division of the U.S. Army]]; all these units, as said before, are above law. These groups appear frequently all around the city enforcing the laws, giving grim reminders of their existence to the common public every day, dragging the morale down. Any attempts at humor are prosecuted swiftly and severely under the draconian laws that are based on [[Chris and copyright|curious misinterpretations]] of international copyright laws. Dissident comedians who flee the city are hunted down and gruesomely executed (with the emphasis on "cute") by [[Sandy Rosechu|underage assassins]]. Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remain at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].

The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[jerkops]] and [[manajerks]] are depowered, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] is murdered by a Voltorb, four people - [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Sean]] and Mao are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in ''[[Chris|cruel and inhumane ways]]''.

The basic services are lacking: Packs of wild Pokémon roam the streets, uncontrolled. The mayor wastes precious [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]] on [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|oversize novelty drinking straws]] and [[Patti-chan|credit cards for dogs]]. As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], there were 10 homeless shelters set up: [[Mailbag 20|Chris himself]] claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house an indigent population of 900-1,800 individuals, and come equipped with free cable TV. The mayor's personal friends, such as Sonichu, live in state-sponsored, suburban housing.

'''tl;dr''' CWCville is a banana republic that makes most African countries look like the world's best places to live.

==Economy==
CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over; the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. Tobacco, unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry. With the banning of anything tobacco related, CWCville loses hundreds of millions of dollars a year in tax revenues, jobs and investment.

CWCville also mints its own currency, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, 10 C-Quarters equalling one W-Quarter, indicating that [[Honor roll|Chris has no idea what "quarter" means]]. Doubtless CWCville's disastrous budgeting decisions have led the establishment of a flourishing black market, perhaps using [[tobacky]] or [[pickles]] as currency.

==Flora and fauna==
[[Image:zapbud.jpg|thumb|Zapbud]]
CWCville, like the rest of Virginia, has a temperate climate and is suitable for large-scale agriculture. Years of economic decline, however, have seen CWCville's environs diverge greatly from those of its neighboring cities. Its forests growing thicker, and its fields returning to nature, CWCville is an excellent laboratory for the avid naturalist. Pokémon roam in the forests; zapbuds fill the fields.

Zapbuds have quickly established themselves in the surrounding ecosystem. Aside from [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu|"healing woes"]], relatively little is known about them. They have four petals, possibly resembling buds of some sort in their normal state, and the "zap" in their name and electrical hazard symbols on their petals suggest that it might not be the brightest idea to pee in the middle of a zapbud field.

==Anomalies==

It is curious to note that while Chris reigns supreme over his imaginary town, it is still subject to the will of other people (as evidenced by BILLY MAYS' election). This gives a small insight into the workings of Chris's mind, as it implies a belief in the non-physical reality of the realm in his own mind. Any sane person could agree to "proclaim" BILLY MAYS the mayor of their fictional city with an offhand shrug, since it doesn't actually ''mean'' anything. They certainly wouldn't take it seriously enough to feel the need to clarify that they didn't mean it. The long and short of this is that Chris's creations are, to him, subject to certain metaphysical laws and structures which IRL he is unable or unwilling to comprehend. This suggests that if efforts were made to convince Chris that, for example, Sonichu had terminal cancer, Chris would either vehemently insist this is not the case, or accept it and claim that he has, in the comic, discovered a cure for cancer.
==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.onetruecwcville.net/index.php onetruecwcville.net]
* [http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCVille Chronicles]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1CIn7qkaY CWCville Mayor Campaign 2010]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyevn2-MU7I CWCville's National Anthem]

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Sonichu]]

Talk:Facebook

2010-10-02T17:28:26Z

Bluedeanie:

==To Do==
*archive the messages on a separate page ([[Facebook messages]] works)
*maybe make a separate page to mirror Chris's Facebook account (to clarify, his Facebook page as it appeared before it was hacked - --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:20, 2 June 2009 (CEST))
*include his notes (maybe a separate page for that too, actually)

As for this page, maybe just outline the extent Chris used Facebook, highlight some of the stuff with it, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:09, 1 June 2009 (CEST)

To put it bluntly; this page needs more words. Some of the messages are very funny when juxtaposed. He would rather go out with a jailbait 17 year old "party girl" (read:slut) than a empathetic single mom. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 23:44, 1 June 2009 (CEST)
* A general commentary for the current themes that pop up in Chris's [[Facebook messages]] and in his Facebook page and notes are more warranted than commentary for each and every individual e-mail.

I know that the Miyamoto Saga e-mails have a commentary of it but most of it is from Clyde (RIP) who provides a commentary on what he was saying as he lost the original sent e-mails from when he was Miyamoto.

But really, I think just a general commentary is needed and that Chris's messages are far more amusing and should speak for themselves. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:55, 2 June 2009 (CEST)

Whatever you say, hoss. Mind was a little skewed due to rage.

What to do STILL - Go through his statuses. How lonesome is this fuck going to be? evenmore.zip [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:59, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

==Collapsible gallery==

Oh, and can we make the gallery collapsible? I know standard wiki formatting has the gallery at the bottom, but, like you said, they speak for themselves, so a general commentary would be more aesthetically pleasing below it. Gives the reader space to grasp the fucktardedness before adding our POV. Just a suggestion.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:51, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

*A collapsible gallery would be great, but can you make one? God help us that none of us can't edit unless it's basic shit like making templates (read: copy and pasting stuff from Wikipedia templates, lol), editing pages, etc. Seriously, we could use collapsible galleries in a lot of pages but no one has gotten around to it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:50, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

* Oh, damn, I assumed you were a senior wikifag. I'll see what I can do, it can't be too difficult, right? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:17, 4 June 2009 (CEST)

* I am a wikifag. See [[Template:Collapsible]]. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 03:31, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

==Has Chris regained use of this profile, or is it still under troll control?==
I was under the impression he got it back, but it seems not long ago he posted a status that was pretty clearly a troll. I'm mostly an idiot so there's a good chance this was obvious somewhere long ago, but the article doesn't really address what happened to the profile after trolls hijacked it. Is that something that could be included? --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:28, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

Chris and English

2010-10-01T22:02:04Z

Bluedeanie:

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor this.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best, especially since his vocabulary is profoundly lacking in the first place.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]], which only makes him look like he doesn't know the word "instance." Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning [[wikipedia:Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping]], not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction; Chris uses them to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence. Chris even uses the semicolon in dialogue where it would normally be considered improper.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to spell words phonetically like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump", most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism — other possibilities include that:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====

Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he hasn't used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in correct context. Despite this, it's as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris isn't worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked-on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, and is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrase book, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that's probably close enough - it's got 'new' and 'address' in it".

For a more egregious example, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Advertising==

{{Incomplete}}

[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]] contains another good example of a frequently seen Chris trait: statements that sound like word-for-word quotations from advertisements.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like"), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Literal interpretation===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the 'exact' meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. He fails to elaborate any of his answers, and cannot distinguish the inferred meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now", rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

2011

2010-06-12T18:52:08Z

Bluedeanie:

[[Image:FutureChris.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in '''2011'''.]]
[[Image:SchuRL.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu]] in '''2011'''.]]
[[Image:Rosechu.jpg|thumb|[[Rosechu]] in '''2011'''.]]
[[Image:Alenci.jpg|thumb|[[Angelica]] in '''2011'''.]]
[[Image:Simonl.jpg|thumb|What [[Simonla]] could have looked like in '''2011'''.]]
[[Image:The toppling of Christian.jpg|thumb|'''Februray 24th:''' A year after the proclamation of Christian Love Day, the Citizens of CWCville revolt against their tyrant.]]

Things <s>planned</s> that will happen in '''2011''':

*[[Chris]] is trolled more. ''(obvious that one)''
*[[Bob Chandler]] dies.
*[[Scampers Chandler|Scampers]] runs away. ''(go go scampers! :3)''
*[[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] is officially recognized by the American Psychological Association and listed in DSM-V.
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' & ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu the Game]]'' are released as [[Hex Bawx|Project Natal]] exclusive titles, earning CWC millions and mad [[lie|poon]], but at the compromise of his beliefs.
**Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to Wii and [[PS3]]. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
*Virginian police discover the corpse of a 14-year-old girl who had been raped in the woods. Inside her mouth, they discover a "boyfriend token". Numerous signs of trauma to her vagina are noticed. They also find traces of semen and fanta on the corpse. However, the chemicals in the fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investgation. Officer [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to "mercilessly hunt down" the perpetrator, and bring him to justice.
*Hasbro releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "[[Kick the Autistic]]" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
*The zombie of [[Ryan Cash]] comes back from the dead to exact revenge on Chris.
*On June 12, 2011, several trollettes encourage Chris to try Heroin. Chris naturally throws out his morals and loves the feeling of the opiates.(KEEP IT RESPONSIBLE, ONLY 7 NEEDLES A WEEK!!)
*Chris goes to the [[Fashion Square Mall]] armed with a [[pickle]]-firing sniper rifle, a [[Nintendo]] DS and in a [[Virgin with rage|Virgin Rage]], massacres several [[Jerkops]] and [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend un-free boys]].
*Chris is sent to prison for three months for the massacre described above.
*Chris is raped by Big Bubba, as well as a bunch of [[niggos|niggers]] (and several others) in jail and begins to realize he is indeed a [[homo]].
*With her cat and husband gone and her son in jail, [[Barbara Chandler]] attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
*After being released from his three month sentence for the massacre of the Jerkops at the mall (damn court system, letting retards off the hook...), Chris dons a [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]] suit, and beats several people to death with a stainless steel, industrial strength, pneumatic [[dildo]]. He is sentenced to 4 weeks of house arrest.
*[[Trolls]] manage to part Chris from his house trading him some "[[Wikipedia:Jack and the Beanstalk|magic beans]]" for it, and is turned into a pickle farm.
*Chris then kidnaps, rapes and murders every single ones of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the perfect [[boyfriend-free girl]] by stitching together their various body parts and trying to reanimate them using his [[PS3]].
*''CWC the Movie'' picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time.
*[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Mayan [[navy|shamen]] in preparation of the [[troll|13th baktun]], the end has begun.
*Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lenghty car chase in [[son-chu]] down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car brandishing the megatron pistol, officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "Down where? All thats down there is the ground" and starts charging a curse ye ha me ha attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country. [[Bagget]] is promoted to police commisioner after this.
*Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing. He dies 5 seconds later.
*Chris is later discovered to be the fabric that holds the entire universe in balance, and with his death, a black hole appears, destroying all life, planets and space. All humans turn into puddles of orange <s>Tang</s> Fanta, and giant robots in space commit suicide, creating the second big bang. Basically, the second half of the [[anime]] movie ''The End of Evangelion''.
*[[Clyde]] and [[Vivian]] then emerge from the ashes to create a new autism-free world, and restablish [[The Miscreants]] as the planet's dominating superpower. Bob comes back from the dead and becomes the official Internet Lumberjack of The Miscreants.
*Barb is soon reincarnated as a Snorlax.

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Chris and religion

2010-05-10T00:19:09Z

Bluedeanie:

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1st Corinthians 13:11, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, pornography, and masturbation. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received multiple visions from God.

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC_(28_December_2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the Southern Baptist and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Catholic church Chris could have come up with, as most catholic churches have a saint prefix.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information.

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls|trolls']] side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]].]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|Radar sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions. This would technically make him closer to a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarianism Unitarian] than a Methodist.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...[insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact God has never backed him up on said threats.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from God and Jesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[fail]]ure was impossible. When Chris was being accused of racism for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a laugh at his expense.

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To_Clyde_and_Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter in [[Mailbag 33]] asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that." One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

It's important to ask Christians why, if God is so loving, there is pain and suffering in the world, and why they have suffered at the hands of him. However, unlike many Christians, Chris can't even think of a half-assed answer to the question. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle_paul_rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of Apostle Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.|Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV), on how it is impossible to ''earn'' salvation.}}
{{Quote|For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:10, on why you should do good works anyway.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, on [[Mailbag 30#Questions|earning salvation]].}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]], and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible. His homophobia apparently had nothing to do with Leviticus 18:22, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from [[Family Guy]]. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all "Seven Deadly Sins"===

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': Obvious. Between all the purchases of sex toys and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought: it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. See [[Chris and Sex]].
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. See also [[Chris and Money]].
*'''Sloth''': Another extremely obvious one. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the Internet, Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris_and_anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': His attitude towards other men as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than most Christians should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's self-centered worldview and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life. See [[Chris and his Ego]] for more information.

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the Medallions of Fail or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says 'goddamn' a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father. He also [[Bob Walks In Aftermath|called his father a bastard]] once.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': It is unknown if Chris has ever stolen any physical thing in real life, but if [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has however, stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]]
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]].

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that: if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of Halakha, Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos|homosexuality]] is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, and many people who cite this verse, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Most Christians pick and choose which Levitical laws they obey and which were "merely metaphor" or "just for the Hebrews" despite what [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%205:17&version=NIV Jesus Christ said about the laws]. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokemon|pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-ye-ha-me-ha!]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_magic sympathetic magic]. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside but parallel to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[Dreams|dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in the past in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the 'kidnapping' of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're true and honest, you will receive blessings.

Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death. Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a virgin.

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a God's bear. Chris moves in mysterious ways.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American south, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in Daoism seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus." The irony here is that it's even harder for Atheists to try and take God and Jesus seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Mailbag 35]], his response was "Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."

[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]] reveals that Chris has some awareness of Judaism, probably picked up from watching [[South Park]]. He appears to not understand that Jews or Buddhists don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same church or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship but calls them churches because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.

In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A| article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User:Bluedeanie

2010-05-10T00:04:41Z

Bluedeanie: Created page with 'I joined to fix a typo here or there, but God knows how many users have started here doing that and wound up taking care of all sorts of shit. At any rate, I haven't actually do…'

I joined to fix a typo here or there, but God knows how many users have started here doing that and wound up taking care of all sorts of shit.

At any rate, I haven't actually done any active trolling of Chris myself. Yet.

{{Americunt}}
{{GrammarNazi|}}
{{Straight}}
{{White}}
{{Observer}}

User talk:Bluedeanie

2010-05-10T00:00:13Z

Bluedeanie:

Welcome to the CWCki!-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:53, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Pleasure's all mine! --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 00:00, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares

2010-05-09T20:13:29Z

Bluedeanie:

[[Image:424-CWC&SNHLifeShares.jpg|thumb|right|Dammit Chris, he has to add Sonichu to EVERYTHING.]]

'''Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares''' was produced when [[Chris]] was [[2003|21 years old]] for [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]'s 21st birthday as a present. Yes, he drew this when he was 21, not 7.

This sheds insight into his relationship with Sarah Hammer and provides some insight on Chris's interpretation of the Sonichu canon, with himself portrayed as [[Sonichu]], Sarah Hammer as [[Rosechu]], and [[Wes Iseli]] as [[Black Sonichu]].

In typical Chris fashion, it is highly self-centered, focusing mainly on his [[autism]], his [[love quest]] and how everything that happens to him is not his fault. Despite being drawn to commemorate her life so far, Sarah is only mentioned when she occasionally crosses paths with Chris and is even then portrayed as what Chris sees as a typical female, which is unlikely to be what Sarah was like anyway. Presumably, Sarah was not pleased to receive a booklet full of everything Chris cannot shut up about.

The document mostly reads like Chris was attempting to win Sarah's affections by reminding them of the times they shared to together, as well as portraying them as Sonichu and Rosechu, boyfriend and girlfriend. Chris doesn't help matters along by making repeated passive-aggressive references to Sarah playing [[kick the autistic|tricks]] on him, or by openly stating that her boyfriend Wes Iseli is "evil". This is rather odd, because there is no mention of the nice things that Sarah has done for Chris, if anything at all. Therefore, Sarah was most likely a bully that Chris mistook for a [[gal-pal]].

Chris also seems to be under the impression that Brad Pitt is a popstar, thus reinforcing the assumption that he does not leave his room.

==The Story==

[[Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:426-CWCSHFP2.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]

Long ago, in the year 1982, two soon-to-be good friends were born:

February 24, 1982 - Pisces (Fish) - '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''
+
October 13, 1982 - Libra (Balance) - '''Sarah Hammer'''

Born in the same year, but not in the same city, these "young ins" were unique, cute little children.

Three years later, Sarah and her family moved in next door to Christopher, and later on, the two sets of parents met each other to become friends. And Chris and Sarah found each other. Little Chris was a high-functionally autistic child, without the capability of talking for a few years and socialization. But, Sarah was a spunky gal who pulled him out of the house to play.
{{-}}

===Memories of childhood===

[[Image:427-CWCSHFP3.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:428-CWCSNHP4.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]

Memories of what was in Sarah's backyward, a quaint swing set, with a slide, two single swings, and a 2-player swing. Speed was the essence on the swing or slide, as well as a fun game of hide-&-seek. Sarah usually got away to the front-porch/home-base, and she got little Chris.

One time, Sarah told Chris that Casper the Friendly Ghost was hiding under her house; he believed it. So Chris crawled under her house, and found cobwebs, dirt and many bugs, but no ghost. And Sarah locked him in ([[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|children do the silliest things]]). Chris was sad and scared. About half an hour (or earlier) later, her father, James, rescued the poor lad from a very dark + scary place.
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[[Image:429-CWCSNHP5.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:430-CWCSNHP6.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
Flowers between friends is a sweet thing. Sarah exposed Chris to a rather "tasty" flower, the Honeysuckle. She thought, and said, that if you put the upper thing [[Recycling|in your mouth]], it would taste like honey. But, of course the parents corrected both children about its dangers.

Of course, in a neighborhood, there is usually more than one family; that means more children to play with. There were Christy, Amy, Ginger, and Jennifer. There were a few other boys as well, but they sadly moved away and were forgotten. Many fun playtimes were had between these four girls, Sarah, and Chris. Most of the time, they all played [[Duck]], [[Duck]], [[Sex toys|Goose]].
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[[Image:431-CWCSNHP7.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
School days are usually the Golden Rule Days, as Sarah and Chris both attended the Greene County Schools. For Chris, he encountered [[principal of Nathanael Greene Elementary School|many discoveries there]], such as a pregnant office assistant, fun in a barrell, [[Niggos|children of other cultures]], and the fundamentals of learning + education. Most of the same was exposed to Sarah as well. They both always enjoyed lunchtime, ice cream, and fun in the playground.

When it comes to the Elementary School, we'll make an exception to the "Golden Rule Days," as Chris didn't have too much fun there. In a nutshell, the faculty and School Boards did not know how to handle an autistic child. So chaos ensued as troublesome abuse was caused by the faculty to the poor boy. Thus, to keep from further trouble with Greene County Schools, Chris had to leave and move to Chesterfield County. And Chris and Sarah's friendship was put on hold. (He moved Sept. 1993)
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===Over the Years===
[[Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
As far as this Narrator Knows, this is how each friend grew up:

'''Christopher'''

* Because of a conducting Bear at Regency Square Mall, he had his name changed to *Christian*
* He went to Providence Middle, then to [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]], and graduated with Honor Roll all the way.
* Made many new friends.
* [[Sonichu]] + gang were first inspired at M.H.S.
* [[Pokémon]] became the raging fad for him
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] became his major hero.
* The youngness in his heart lasted the many years.
* He has <s>also</s> also made a few websites that are on the internet.
* He took 2 years of Spanish (Español) in M.H.S. (¡Hola, [[Ricardo]]!)
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[[Image:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg|thumb|right|150px|AAAHH!! this guy's evil!]]
'''Sarah'''

* She graduated from High School as well.
* She found a boyfriend named [[Wes Iseli]] (he's a magician)
* She developed her interests in Pop music and other fun things.
* She grew up into a spittin' image of [[Britney Spears]] =)
* She started job(s) at a place or two.
* She made many more friends.
* She's still a spunky gal.
* She got a Driver's License + a car.
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===The Return of Chris===
[[Image:434-CWCSNHP10.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
Christian moved back to Ruckersville, June, 2000, and he enrolled into Piedmont Virginia Community College. When Christian met the new & improved Sarah, he was surprised in how much she had changed over the years. But during his years at P.V.C.C., he was not able to interact with Sarah as much as he used to, because she was [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|living with her boyfriend]]. And thus, because he could not socialize as well as before, Christian did not meet as many friends at P.V.C.C., as compared to Manchester High. And so, he became lonesome. His [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|21st Birthday wasn't so hot either]].
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===The Girl Next Door, Today===
[[Image:435-CWCSNHP11.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
[[Image:436-CWCSNHP12.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
As of sometime before July, 2000, Sarah has been living with her boyfriend, Wes Iseli, a magician who does parties. Other than that, she works at the University of Virginia's hospital where she checks the babies' hearing. Sarah has many female companions, with whom she spends fun times with, such as trips to the mall, beach, and other places. Sarah also enjoys seeing fun movies and listening to pop stars, such as [[fail|Brad Pitt]], N*Synch and the [[Homos|Backstreet Boys]]. So, she is getting along very well.
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===What will Come?===
[[Image:437-CWCSNHP13.jpg|thumb|left|150px|"Huh?!"]]
[[Image:438-CWCSNHP14.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
So, here it is, October 13, 2003, and what is to be expected in the future?
* A clash of the Sonichus?
* Christian getting paired with a girlfriend?

<nowiki>*Who Knows?*</nowiki>

But for now, let's celebrate...

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to Sarah!!

The End?

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==Credits==

[[Image:439-CWCSNHP15.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
[[Image:440-CWCSNHP16.jpg|thumb|right|150px|P.S. Please do me.]]
'''Cast'''
* Young Christopher
:* Sonee
* Young Sarah
:* Rosey
* Adult Christian
:* Sonichu
* Adult Sarah
:* Rosechu

'''Narrator, Story, Art, etc...''' 
Christian Chandler

'''Sources''' 
Christian Chandler 
Barbara Chandler 
Robert Chandler 
James Hammer 
Cynthia Hammer 

'''Surprised Birthday Girl''' 
<nowiki>*Sarah Hammer*</nowiki>

<nowiki>*</nowiki> All Sonichu material is copyrighted © March, 2000.
Email: ItsameCWC@aol.com

<nowiki>*</nowiki> This has been a Christian Chandler/Sonichu Production.

[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm

A special Note from Christian to Sarah:

"I hope that we can hang together some time. But for now & forever, we will always be good friends!!"

An original by Christian W. Chandler.

October 13, 2003 (Done on July 21, 2003)

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]