CWCki - User contributions [en]

Pickle

2016-09-17T15:23:14Z

Blusko:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Chrisreply3.PNG|center]]

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image: PickleGIFImage.gif|100px]]</div>

{{quote|[[stress sigh|Sigh]], can we not talk about pickles, please?|[[Chris]] - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}
[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|Pickles are Sonichu's greatest enemy. Also, look at how Chris spells [[Wikipedia:Sbarro|Sbarro]].]]

'''Pickle''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for "penis," typically in the context of another man's penis rather than [[Chris]]'s own, which he usually refers to as his "[[duck]]". He and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (because he's a [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]]) both hate other people's penises due to Chris's intense [[Chris and sex|sexual]] [[homos|insecurity]], to the point that they both literally hate pickled cucumbers.

Chris is easily provoked by fanart suggesting that [[Rosechu]] has a penis, although it is difficult for him to retaliate since that would require him to actually look at the dreaded vegetable. Coincidentally, one of Chris's most notorious enemies is [[the Man in the Pickle Suit]] who has frequently tricked him into, among other things, releasing photos of his own pickle.

Possibly due to troll usage of the term, Chris made fewer references to pickles in [[2009]] and even fewer afterward, though he still occasionally referred to his picklephobia in works such as [[Sonichu Special 1]]. Despite this, their strong association with Chris in the earliest days of his internet fame has made them an enduring feature of troll artwork and conversation.

==Pickled cucumbers==
[[File:Tickle His Pickle.jpg|thumb|120px|left|An ideal [[C-Mas]] gift for [[gal-pals]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|of all teenages]].]]
[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|150px|When you see it you'll [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit bricks]].]]

{{quote|They taste terrible, and they look like dicks; even more disgusting.|Chris, answering a troll's email regarding pickles<ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates Pickles]]</ref>}}

Aside from his hatred of metaphorical pickles, it is also well-documented that Chris has a long-standing aversion to the delicious cucumbers pickled in brine, going as far back to some of the earlier material documented in his [[scrapbook]]. Receipts from the [[Ohio trip]] in search of [[Julie]] show that he specifically orders his fast-food hamburgers without pickles. Even the mere image of a pickle bothers him--the picklish ad banners placed on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[November 2009]] provoked an angry response.

Whether this is because pickles remind him, even when sliced and under the bun of a sandwich, of cocks, or whether he simply has an aversion to foods with a strong taste or smell, remains to be seen. Considering his [[Chris and Health#Nutrition|diet]], pickles may simply be too much flavor for a man who has notoriously [[Family Guy|bland]] tastes to handle. [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|Then again...]]

==References to pickles==
{{quote|I hate pickles.|[[Chris]] - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}

[[Image:Rosechupickels.jpg|thumb|left|Rosechu brutally face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] afterward... for throwing a pickle.]]
[[Image:Picklecat.png|thumb|IF I SEE ONE MORE FRICKIN' PICKLE...]]

Chris's virulent hatred of pickles was one of the first weaknesses discovered by [[trolls]], all the way back in the fall of 2007. When the [[4chan]] artist [[Evan]] contacted Chris with a collection of "fan art" drawn by denizens of /v/ — in which, 4chan being 4chan, images of Rosechu with a penis figured prominently — Chris memorably replied "Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' PICKLE!!!!"

Since then, Chris has made a number of references to pickles in his comics and [[YouTube]] videos, partly on his own and partly due to trollish instigation.

*In his [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, Chris makes several references to pickles, albeit in the context of his enemy, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].
*He also blamed the Pickle Man for his woes in his video of [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008]].
*Towards the end of 2008, when Chris still believed that the #sonichu [[IRC]] channel was home to [[Fanbase|his TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]], the channel was set up at his behest to kick any chatters who used the word "pickle."
*The "slander ray" wielded by the comic-book villain [[Clyde Cash|Cly]] in [[Sonichu Special 1]] resembles a pickle with a gun barrel attached to one end.
*Chris's nemesis, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], declares "Go and play with your pickle!" before throwing a pickle at [[Rosechu]]. Her response is unwarranted, to say the least.
*In [[IRC_(24_October_2008)|the 24 October 2008 IRC chat]], Chris declares his fondness for "Double Cheeseburgers ... with no dill."
*Sonichu himself has hated pickles since as far back as [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], drawn long before Chris was ever trolled through his fear of pickles. There, our hero was frozen with terror after encountering pickles while dining with Rosechu at "Burger Krunch." The panel where this took place was later re-drawn as the "Sonichu & Aqua Teens" illustration. Chris would later on reveal that Sonichu has a literally paralyzing allergy to pickles.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Sonichu's kryptonite]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
[[Image:164889-ogorki.jpg|thumb|Picklechu]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[China]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Masturbating and squirtin']]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Pickle

2016-05-28T08:48:17Z

Blusko:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Chrisreply3.PNG|center]]

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image: PickleGIFImage.gif|100px]]</div>

{{quote|[[stress sigh|Sigh]], can we not talk about pickles, please?|[[Chris]] - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}
[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|Pickles are Sonichu's greatest enemy. Also, look at how Chris spells [[Wikipedia:Sbarro|Sbarro]].]]

'''Pickle''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for "penis," typically in the context of another man's penis rather than [[Chris]]'s own, which he usually refers to as his "[[duck]]". He and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (because he's a [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]]) both hate other people's penises due to Chris's intense [[Chris and sex|sexual]] [[homos|insecurity]], to the point that they both literally hate pickled cucumbers.

Chris is easily provoked by fanart suggesting that [[Rosechu]] has a penis, although it is difficult for him to retaliate since that would require him to actually look at the dreaded vegetable. Coincidentally, one of Chris's most notorious enemies is [[the Man in the Pickle Suit]] who has frequently tricked him into, among other things, releasing photos of his own pickle.

Possibly due to troll usage of the term, Chris made fewer references to pickles in [[2009]] and even fewer afterward, though he still occasionally referred to his picklephobia in works such as [[Sonichu Special 1]]. Despite this, their strong association with Chris in the earliest days of his internet fame has secured them as a recurring feature of troll artwork.

==Pickled cucumbers==
[[File:Tickle His Pickle.jpg|thumb|120px|left|An ideal [[C-Mas]] gift for [[gal-pals]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|of all teenages]].]]
[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|150px|When you see it you'll [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit bricks]].]]

{{quote|They taste terrible, and they look like dicks; even more disgusting.|Chris, answering a troll's email regarding pickles<ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates Pickles]]</ref>}}

Aside from his hatred of metaphorical pickles, it is also well-documented that Chris has a long-standing aversion to the delicious cucumbers pickled in brine, going as far back to some of the earlier material documented in his [[scrapbook]]. Receipts from the [[Ohio trip]] in search of [[Julie]] show that he specifically orders his fast-food hamburgers without pickles. Even the mere image of a pickle bothers him--the picklish ad banners placed on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[November 2009]] provoked an angry response.

Whether this is because pickles remind him, even when sliced and under the bun of a sandwich, of cocks, or whether he simply has an aversion to foods with a strong taste or smell, remains to be seen. Considering his [[Chris and Health#Nutrition|diet]], pickles may simply be too much flavor for a man who has notoriously [[Family Guy|bland]] tastes to handle. [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|Then again...]]

==References to pickles==
{{quote|I hate pickles.|[[Chris]] - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}

[[Image:Rosechupickels.jpg|thumb|left|Rosechu brutally face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] afterward... for throwing a pickle.]]
[[Image:Picklecat.png|thumb|IF I SEE ONE MORE FRICKIN' PICKLE...]]

Chris's virulent hatred of pickles was one of the first weaknesses discovered by [[trolls]], all the way back in the fall of 2007. When the [[4chan]] artist [[Evan]] contacted Chris with a collection of "fan art" drawn by denizens of /v/ — in which, 4chan being 4chan, images of Rosechu with a penis figured prominently — Chris memorably replied "Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' PICKLE!!!!"

Since then, Chris has made a number of references to pickles in his comics and [[YouTube]] videos, partly on his own and partly due to trollish instigation.

*In his [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, Chris makes several references to pickles, albeit in the context of his enemy, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].
*He also blamed the Pickle Man for his woes in his video of [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008]].
*Towards the end of 2008, when Chris still believed that the #sonichu [[IRC]] channel was home to [[Fanbase|his TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]], the channel was set up at his behest to kick any chatters who used the word "pickle."
*The "slander ray" wielded by the comic-book villain [[Clyde Cash|Cly]] in [[Sonichu Special 1]] resembles a pickle with a gun barrel attached to one end.
*Chris's nemesis, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], declares "Go and play with your pickle!" before throwing a pickle at [[Rosechu]]. Her response is unwarranted, to say the least.
*In [[IRC_(24_October_2008)|the 24 October 2008 IRC chat]], Chris declares his fondness for "Double Cheeseburgers ... with no dill."
*Sonichu himself has hated pickles since as far back as [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], drawn long before Chris was ever trolled through his fear of pickles. There, our hero was frozen with terror after encountering pickles while dining with Rosechu at "Burger Krunch." The panel where this took place was later re-drawn as the "Sonichu & Aqua Teens" illustration. Chris would later on reveal that Sonichu has a literally paralyzing allergy to pickles.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Sonichu's kryptonite]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
[[Image:164889-ogorki.jpg|thumb|Picklechu]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[China]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Masturbating and squirtin']]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2015-04-16T16:24:28Z

Blusko:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Comic CWC.PNG|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24 February [[Sonichu chronology#1982|1982]] (IRL)
24 March 2005 (in universe)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human (can transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]])
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Mayor of CWCville
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
|-
|}

[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the character.]]
'''Christian Weston Chandler''' is a character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. Within the comic universe, [[Chris]] has not opted to portray himself as a [[Obesity|fat]] [[autism|autistic]] slob who refuses to work; rather he is the respected mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and a deific character beloved by all.

Despite the sub-episodes in which he appears ostensibly concerning the real Chris, he can't seem to keep from invoking superpowers and fictitious plot contrivances.

In December 2014, it was revealed that, just like his real-life counterpart, Comic Chris has become a [[Tomgirl]].

==In the comic==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double-chinned Chris.]]
[[Image:CWC collage.jpg|thumb|left|Chris is a master of consistency.]]
Chris depicts himself as Mayor of his fictional town, [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, comic-Chris is popular, good-looking ([[Chris and art|notionally speaking]]), and surrounded by adoring women (whose real-life counterparts are generally [[trolls]], [[Gal pal|gal-pals]] who [[Megan Schroeder|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]]). He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and use any and all of the powers of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] at will, thus rendering Sonichu and company completely superfluous.

Any characteristics comic-Chris possess stem from Chris's attempt to portray himself as the lovable loser type of character, known from any generic romantic comedy. He is portrayed as noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. However, so as not to appear to be a COMPLETE Mary Sue, comic-Chris also has trouble with [[Love Quest|finding a girlfriend]], is shown to have a limited ability to fight off his [[Manajerks|enemies]], and is regularly in need of help from his supportive friends in order to overcome his problems. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] are not mere paraphernalia - they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]].

He is of course Mayor of CWCville, complete with [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work]], which she takes with a smile. However, his actual role relative to the citizens of his city is closer to god-king than mayor; his office is permanent and indisputable, and every character reveres him as their creator and supreme being, and is unswervingly loyal to him for no reason. If it weren't totally obvious, Chris's comic persona is a pure wish-fulfilment Mary Sue.

===Atrocities===

Predictably, Chris's creation of a world in which he is god results in even more insane behavior than is exhibited his real-life counterpart, primarily due to him (and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|superpowered goons]]) possessing the power to actually carry out his [[Death threats|threats]] in a controlled environment where he can (attempt to) portray himself as morally superior.

In only 11 issues (including 4 specials), he permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|someone]] [[Megatron Pistol|by]] [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting]] him in the legs after he'd surrendered, [[Sonichu #0|completely destroyed the life]] of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job and then callously mocking him by saying that [[Chris and his Ego|''he'd'']] suffered worse, sealed up and destroyed a populated building whilst ensuring no living thing escaped and later trying to blame it on the building's lackluster security, broke into [[Mary Lee Walsh|an old woman]]'s home and brutally attacked her to the extent of causing paralysis, directly ordered the murder of over one thousand five hundred people in the self-perpetrated destruction of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, carried out a Holocaust on [[Homos|homosexual]]s and asexuals, and arranged a [[Sonichu #10|show trial]] for [[Asperpedia Four|four men]] in an openly biased court, before personally executing them in brutal and inhumane ways, forcing [[Kel|chil]][[Sandy Rosechu|dren]] to commit first-degree murder in the process, for the crime of making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]].

It should be noted that Chris's avatar undertakes all of these activities with self-righteous euphoria, and offers no justification, nor does he display any remorse.

===[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]===

Right from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, Chris drawing himself only semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu'' #0 is one of the rare issues that is actually based primarily around the idea of Sonichu as the protagonist.

===[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]===

''Sonichu'' #1 is Chris's lowest-key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own [[Chris and art|drawing ability]].

===[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu'' #2 Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Chris depicts himself as the messiah of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], an event which will dominate the rest of the series to the point of [[Sonichu]]'s redundancy.

===[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]===

After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a back seat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[jerkop]]s. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokémon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imagined sister, [[Chris and Sex#Incest|on whose beauty he remarks numerous times]].

===[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]===
[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris. So kawaii~.]]

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] - a long-standing love interest of his - is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who only wants what's best for her. Of course, in reality, Sarah couldn't have cared less what Chris thought of the wedding, [[Chris and his Ego|but Chris felt that showing his acceptance was vitally important]]. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], who makes her début appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also introduces the pseudo-manga art style (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize later comics.

By the next episode, things starts to get confusing. Yes, Chris is Mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all of [[Virginia]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who would to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]===

''Sonichu'' #6 is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to run a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who inexplicably gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction Location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making bizarre and scarcely-comprehensible "hints" that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]]. Even in comic form, Megan wants none of this.

===[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in [[Issue 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].]]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Sammy]] together.]]
[[Image:Set1pic2.jpg|thumb|Comic Chris as of 2014.]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked Megan into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, at this point, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most manga-esque issue to date, which in turn results in Chris's self-depictions being hugely inconsistent in style.

This issue is also notorious for its introduction of [[Sammy]]. Intended to be a bumbling, Peter Griffin-type counterpart to Comic Chris, Sammy is extremely stupid, [[Obesity|massively overweight]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]], which results in a far greater resemblance to the real Chris than Comic Chris has ever had.

Halfway through making this comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[Time Void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action in the comic.

===[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris somehow emerges temporarily from the time void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[The Oversized Drinking Straw|over-sized drinking straw]] picture, while [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]] cheer him on in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterward.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===
Even though Chris remains trapped in the Time Void, he can't resist including himself substantially in this issue. The first time he shows up is during [[Ivy]]'s "vision" portraying her being with Chris as told by [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]]. The second time is at the end of the comic. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the [[Time Void]] and end up pulling Chris out of it. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], unveils some sort of plan (which isn't elaborated) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''.

===[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and immediately places himself in the middle of the spotlight. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]]. As such, whatever small narrative restraints Comic Chris had possessed have been extinguished, and the character acts purely as a mouthpiece (and avenging fist) for his creator.

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood so they could use it for a vaccine. Chris, however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving a hundred people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

Chris is then attacked by [[Naitsirhc]], but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality and asexuality (since Chris for some reason does not like that either).

[[Meg Griffin]] of all people suddenly turns up and claims to be fan of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really [[Silvana Rosechu]] in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris takes the time to apologize without really apologizing, this time with a babbling insincere speech to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed something comparative to genocide against them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, now transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]], which he does by breaking into Asperchu/Alec Benson Leary's house, fingerbanging his "[[Xbox|HEXBox Pavilion]]" to the breaking point and turning Asperchu and the rest of the comic cast into "improved" versions of themselves.

After this, Hobo-Chan fights [[Mary Lee Walsh]], leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a lifetime in CWCville's maximum-security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furore). After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessings and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are then brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by ''tearing him apart'' with his psychic powers.

The huge issue finally concludes with Chris urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in His name, for great is His wisdom and His benevolence.

===[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]===
Chris has yet to appear in the unfinished ''Sonichu'' #11, although since it is set at [[Christmas]] his actions will probably pertain to the Yuletide in some way.

===Present Day===
Despite no longer producing the comics proper, Chris made sure to update his in-comic incarnation to reflect his [[Tomgirl|professed sexual orientation]]. He draws himself as a complete female, with a feminine shape (relative to the featureless rectangles he generally uses for bodies, that is) and breasts. His [[hair]], greasy, thin and receding in real life, is full and feminine. As is customary, his [[heterochromia]] is hugely exaggerated and he is intended to look attractive.

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris_fan_art|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] - the personification of his God complex
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homos|homo]] side
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]
[[Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers]]

Family Guy

2014-06-27T22:17:54Z

Blusko: /* Influence on Chris */

[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT HE ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]

'''''[[Wikipedia:Family Guy|Family Guy]]''''' is an animated sitcom known for basing most of its jokes around pop-cultural references, which is interesting considering [[Chris]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|rips it off]] so much in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comics]], much like the show rips off everything else.

==Influence on Chris==
Chris has variously expressed fanaticism for the series and watches it regularly. It can be inferred from this that the show's frequent use of [[random-access humor|non-sequitur, referential humor]] has bolstered Chris's belief that reproducing (or at least "borrowing") themes, motifs and characters from other works makes for legitimate, original art and has influenced his muddled understanding of [[parody]].

Also significant is his [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|citing of ''Family Guy'']] as material that endorses [[homos|homophobia]], having completely misinterpreted what was a not-so-subtle jab at the prejudice in an episode. As the series often deals with issues of bigotry and other social taboos in a manner which to most would constitute unsubtle, perhaps even ham-fisted, irony, the question is raised as to what other messages from the show Chris takes at face value.

The specific scene which Chris referenced depicted [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin|Stewie]] quoting [[Wikipedia:the Bible|the Bible]] to prove that [[Wikipedia:gay marriage|Gay marriage]] is wrong, the joke being twofold; Stewie himself is ambiguously [[Homos|gay]], making his quoting of the Bible [[hypocrite|hypocritical]], and, as pointed out by [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]], he is too infantile to properly contextualise Biblical scripture, a dig at ''precisely'' the sort of [[religion|brainless Bible-thumping]] Chris exhibits. This joke obviously soared over Chris's head, and even now, Chris references that scene to prove that being gay is wrong. What's even more ridiculous is the fact that Chris seems to have not heard of any specific parts of the Bible that condemn homosexuality, despite being a supposedly devout Christian his entire life, until it was spelled out in an animated comedy series.

===In ''Sonichu''===
The series is the "inspiration" for Chris's infamous ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] that appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and contained the one-off appearance of his character [[Sammy]], a creation that was a mix between Chris and [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]. Chris had hoped that the creator of ''Family Guy'', [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]], could possibly use his "skitch" in a future episode, but he unfortunately didn't realize MacFarlane is quite capable of making unfunny, plagiarized, poorly drawn, boring shit on his own.

[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] featured the line "Insert rod 'A' into slot 'B'" as an apparent example of dirty talk; in [[Wikipedia:Emission Impossible|Emission Impossible]]" "Insert rod support A into slot B," was an example of awful innuendo. Meanwhile, [[Bubbles Rosechu]] asks [[Blake]] what he wished for and he says "It's already come true"; this could be directly from [[Wikipedia:Sixteen Candles|''Sixteen Candles'']], but could also be from the [[parody]] of this scene in ''Family Guy''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s "[[Wikipedia:PTV (Family Guy)|PTV]]".

The "Spring Break" plotline also owes a lot to Meg and Lois's story in "[[Wikipedia:A Fish out of Water (Family Guy)|A Fish out of Water]]", including the bit where every channel is showing Spring Break, even the news channels.

The "[[homos|gay]] vaccine" storyline from [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' 10]] was partially inspired by the episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]", where Peter becomes gay after being injected with the gay gene.<ref>[[Kacey Call 16]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Chris copies the line "I'm the virgin Mary; that's my story and I'm sticking to it," from "[[Wikipedia:A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas|A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas]]."

==Chris and Meg==
[[Image:Meg 08-10-2009.jpg|thumb|Chris's declaration of intention regarding [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]].]]

{{Quote|Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode (I hope she has turned Eighteen by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story).|Chris, on what makes a story [[China|really good]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy Cwcipedia page on ''Family Guy'']</ref>}}

[[Image:ChrisChanfamilyguy.jpg|thumb|Chris's welcome page as of 9 October 2009.]]

Chris has a crush on [[Meg Griffin]] (a cartoon character, for those keeping track at home). However, what Chris doesn't seem to understand is that a good portion of the show's "humor" is intended to come at the expense of Meg Griffin. She is mostly portrayed as fat, unlikeable and ugly (sound familiar?) and given very few lines in episodes. Despite her portrayal, Chris has developed feelings for her, perhaps finding a kindred spirit in another person whose only use seems to be to entertain the masses by being constantly mistreated by the world at large (that or her name just reminds him of [[Megan Schroeder|someone...]]). Although she is [[pedofork|underage]], Chris has sought porn of her, going so far as to assimilate it into his drawings.

On 8 [[October 2009]], he commented on a [[YouTube]] clip from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]" depicting a hot alternate-universe Meg, lamenting that if only MacFarlane let Meg turn eighteen that CWC would "be all over her sweet pussy and breasts."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy-LEpQapQ</ref>

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris inserted Meg into the comic, [[Chris and his ego|having her compliment Chris on the comic]]. In turn, Chris defends Meg's "honor" by beating up a guy who insults the two of them. He then kisses Meg, cheating on his future wife [[Lovely Weather]]. It turns out that Meg is [[Silvana Rosechu]], an evil hermaphrodite furfag, in disguise. When accused of being a [[pedofork]] (Meg is 17), Chris retorted "SHE PUSHED HERSELF ONTO ME!"<ref>[[Mailbag 37]]</ref>

Chris also wrote about her in [[Mailbag 20]]:
{{quote|She has a fun and sweet personality; she is very pretty; she is smart; what is there NOT to like about her? Nothing from my point of view.}}
==Chris's message to Seth MacFarlane==
On 5 [[June 2009]], [[The Miscreants]] special ops agent [[Bryan Bash]] hacked into Chris's YouTube account and found a message Chris sent to ''Family Guy'' creator Seth MacFarlane via his YouTube account.

{{quotebox|Hello Seth,

I am a long-time Family Guy Fan. I have purchased the Blu-Ray of [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy|your Calvacade]]; I enjoyed all but the homosexual and dick jokes (I detest the [[homos]] very strongly). For your next bunch of 50 or so videos, please do more breast and vagina jokes.

Also, in Family Guy, PLEASE give Megan more respect, because she [[Chris and writing|IS VERY BEATIFUL]] in my perspective, and she truly deserves MORE Positive attention and less abuse. Give her an irreversable Love Potion or something yo give her the attention that she deserves for MULTIPLE SEASONS and MULTIPLE CONSISTANT episodes.

We LOVE Megan Marie Griffin.

Peace,

Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu at http://www.cwcville.com}}

==The Chrisode==
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|Leaked concept sketches made by [[Trolls|Seth MacFarlane]] himself.]]
[[File:FamilyGuyChris.JPG|thumb|Chris's own sketch in a ''Family Guy''-style.]]
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9 December 2009]] Chris said that he'd heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane was planning on including him in a future ''Family Guy'' episode. This obviously fake news inflated [[Chris and his Ego|Chris's ego]] to [[Giant Penis Comic|gigantic proportions]], to the point where he felt the need to pitch an idea for the plot. Below is the {{CWCipedia link|Family Guy|plot he posted}} on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have described the story in a nutshell in my [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|recent video]]. But to reiterate (the final story will be typed up then copied/pasted onto this page), The show opens on Megan going onto the [[Cwcipedia]] on her computer in her room, reading the latest page uploaded and enjoying it. Later, she sends a message for the [[Mailbag]], asking if I could come to Quahog for their upcoming Comic Book Convention to show off my work. I respond, "[[Rape|I just may, Meg]]. ;)" Then I later drive up to Quahog in [[Son-Chu|my car]] (debatable on the destination being the Comic Con or the Griffin House), either way, the Griffins greet and welcome me. Then I break out [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|my two]] [[S-Chu Ball]]s, toss them and release [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; more greetings. Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode ([[pedofork|I hope she has turned Eighteen]] by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story). For the [[Wikipedia:Subplot|"B" Story]], Brian gets a bit [[autism|antsy]] around the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|Lovehogs]]' cuddlings, and he just could not help but ask them about how they maintain their relationship. And Sonichu and Rosechu tell Brian and help him find himself a new good girlfriend. **Suggestion to Seth, Let's Add a Smart, [[Patti-Chan|Sweet Girl Dog]] for Brian (Yes, SHE TALKS), as for breed, [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|I think any sexy breed]] (not a poodle; nothing against poodles, but I feel that a poodle might not work well for Brian).}}

Chris also described the plot in his [[9 December 2009]] C-Log; basically the same, except that it was an anime con.

==Chris's criticisms==
Although Chris loves ''Family Guy'', he has several ideas that he's certain would make the show much, much better. Most of his suggestions revolve around his infantile fears of [[homos]]exuality, his sad ability to fall desperately in love with [[Julie|fictional women]] and issues with the plot that only someone with [[autism]] would notice. Also, the tower incident that Chris is referring to takes place in the ''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story''. However, Chris is wrong about it causing Stewie to be straight. This is because it is pretty obviously hinted in this movie that he is gay, as he is a virgin at 30, still shows very flamboyant tendencies and is very reluctant to have sex with a woman.

Also: subtle hints of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]].

*''"Megan does not deserve [[Kick the Autistic|the abuse]] she gets. She is a Beautiful Girl, she is Very Smart, and she is the Oldest of the three children. So, Why.T.F. does Seth let most everyone treat her terribly? What is it about her that everyone is seeing to instinctively wail on her by default? WHAT and WHY?!"''

*''"Stewie should have let that tower fall on him; at least in the future scenario there, he Ended Up [[Straight]]."''

*''"[[Wikipedia:Chris Griffin|Chris]] finally got the best girlfriend he could ask for at the end of [[Wikipedia:Family Guy (season 6)|Season 6]], Anna, so what happened to her between then and when Connie dated him in [[Wikipedia:Family Guy (season 7)|Season 7]]?"''

*''"While I can see [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brain]] looking for the womanly qualities that he finds in the women he's dated, why does he not date female talking dogs who are That Pretty, Smart and all that?"''

*''"In "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to Multiverse]]", in the "[[Wikipedia:Robot Chicken|Robot Chicken]]" Universe, Stewie asks [[Wikipedia:Seth Green|Seth Greene]] through Chris, "How does it feel to be on a Major Network for 30 Seconds?" Upon watching the video file on my [[PS3]], the time in that universe was Only 20 Seconds Total, and there were NO additional portions of that scene in the version later shown on Cartoon Network's [[Adult Swim]]. Seth McFarline owes Seth Greene 10 Seconds and then some."''

*Chris wants American Dad to have "[[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Haley]]" in more episodes.

*He does not care for all the [[pickle|dick]] jokes in ''The Cleveland Show''.

==Other mentions==
Chris recycles ''Family Guy'' jokes at every opportunity, usually so out-of-context that they make no sense.

*In [[CWC's Second Message]], he was angry that people were saying he was a [[pedofork]], like [[Wikipedia:Herbert (Family Guy)|Herbert]].
*Chris said "SHAZZAM!" when [[Vanessa AIM Chat 2|cybering with "Vanessa Hudgens"]], a joke borrowed from "[[Wikipedia:The Perfect Castaway|The Perfect Castaway]]" and "[[Wikipedia:Fifteen Minutes of Shame|Fifteen Minutes of Shame]]."
*Chris constantly described ''[[Asperchu]]'' as "blocky" and "low-resolution"<ref>[[Mailbag 41]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 42]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 43]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 45]]</ref>, which is taken from "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]."
*In [[Rollin' and Trollin']], Chris called [[Obama]] "a regular stand-up family guy."
*In [[Kacey Call 11]], Chris talks about how he hated finding out that Stewie is gay. He also claimed that ''Family Guy'' was temporarily cancelled in 2002 because everyone was "distracted" by [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11]], even though it had already been temporarily cancelled in 2000 due to low ratings, and they hadn't been getting any better in 2001.
*Chris's [[A Public Announcement for Congress|Public Announcement for Congress]] segues into the theme tune of [[Wikipedia:The Facts of Life (TV series)|''The Facts of Life'']], a joke taken from "[[Wikipedia:Running Mates (Family Guy)|Running Mates]]."
*In [[Kacey Call 22]], Chris told her that he ignores it, or turns down the volume, when Stewie acts gay or when pro-homo scenes appear in ''Family Guy''.
*The story [[JenkinsJinkies]] told about his [[Trollin Train|gay experience]] at camp was allegedly inspired by Peter's parrot squawking "I had a gay experience at camp!" in "[[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|Long John Peter]]".<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref><ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>
*In [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]], Chris sings the fart song from "[[Wikipedia:The Man with Two Brians|The Man with Two Brians]]."
*Chris's knowledge of [[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormonism]] is mainly derived from "[[Wikipedia:The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz|The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz]]."<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>
*Chris has referred to his obesity as a "[[Wikipedia:Budai|Buddha]] belly"; this is probably taken from "[[Wikipedia:To Love and Die in Dixie|To Love and Die in Dixie]]."
*Chris sang "[[Wikipedia:Never Gonna Give You Up|Never Gonna Give You Up]]" in [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]] - he doesn't seem to link it to [[Wikipedia:Rickrolling|Rickrolling]] and probably knew it from "[[Wikipedia:Meet the Quagmires|Meet the Quagmires]]".
*Chris imitated Peter (horribly) when talking to [[Clyde Cash]] in [[Mumble 4]]: ''"Hey listen, Peter Griffin, he's a family guy and he's [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]] and yet look at his life!"''
* Chris often declares that a person or situation "grinds his gears," which was Peter Griffin's stock saying in [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story'']].<ref>[[Father Call]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], [[sports bra]]</ref>
*When [[100 2266|acting as the Grimace]], Chris said that Grimace is [[autistic]], which he took from a throwaway line in "[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears|Prick Up Your Ears]]."
*In [[Mailbag 25#This is perhaps the worst advice Chris has ever given|Mailbag 25]] Chris gives some awful relationship advice which seems to have been inspired by the Family Guy episdoe "[[Wikipedia:Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey|Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey]]".
*The video [[It's not that cold]] shows Chris reenacting a scene shown in the episode ''"Stew-Roids"'', where Chris Griffin is exposed doing the exact same routine.

==Other MacFarlane shows==
[[File:Seth.PNG|300px|right]]
===''American Dad!''===
''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'' is another MacFarlane series, again based around a single family. Unlike the two other MacFarlane shows (and countless others before them), main character [[Wikipedia:Stan Smith (American Dad!)|Stan Smith]] actually manages not to be a fat loser, being in decent physical shape and coming across as reasonably intelligent, albeit with poor judgement which is further clouded by his hard-right political views. Not surprisingly, this is the MacFarlane show that Chris appears to pay the least attention to, though he does appear to be somewhat of a fan. Chris stated on the [[CWCipedia]] that "There should be More Stories starring Haley." [[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Hayley Smith]] is the left-wing daughter of Stan Smith. Doubtless Chris wanted more Hayley stories, not due to his love of marijuana jokes or the Democrats, but because he thought she was sexy.

===''The Cleveland Show''===
27 [[September 2009]] saw the debut of [[wikipedia:The Cleveland Show|''The Cleveland Show'']], a ''Family Guy'' spin-off that answered the question, "What would happen if we took a fairly bland supporting character on ''Family Guy'' and gave him his own show?" Naturally, it sounded like a solid gold idea to Chris, as he plugged the show heavily on [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|one of his Captain's Logs]]. The eager endorsement of the show by an [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|odorous]], [[muscle bra|bra]]-wearing [[The Creepy Stare|creepy-ass]] manchild is certainly much appreciated by the Fox Network.

It would seem Chris may have been too hasty in his initial endorsement of the show. In a [[CWCipedia]] update on 11 [[December 2009]], after making several idiotic points about ''Family Guy'', his analysis of ''The Cleveland Show'' consisted simply of, "I do not care for all the dick jokes." This didn't stop him from buying the show's first season through the [[PlayStation Network]], though.

In another eerie coincidence, an episode revolved around a sex doll named [[Kimmi]].

On 22 [[March 2010]], Chris broke [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|his vow never to use the Internet again]] after thirty-six hours to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|complain]] about changes in the show's voice acting. He would continue his whining in [[Some Favored Comedians|a video about his favorite comedians]] [[May 2010|two months later]].

In an [[100 2279|October 2010]] video, Chris held up a DVD box set of the first season of ''The Cleveland Show'' and performed a terrible rendition of the show's theme tune. He spent $30 on this set, much to [[Jackie]]'s chagrin.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

Sadly, Chris's seal of approval did nothing to help the show's fortunes, and it was cancelled in May 2013. Chris does not appear to have commented on the show's demise, suggesting that even he had stopped caring by this point.

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Sammy]] - Chris's bastard love child creation of him combined with [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]
* ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''
* ''[[South Park]]''
==Sources==
<references/>
==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Family Guy|''Family Guy'']] at [[Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

The High School Story

2012-11-13T18:55:53Z

Blusko: /* Summary */ paragraph about continuity errors

"'''The High School Story'''" is a piece of alternate reality fiction [[Chris]] authored on the [[CWCipedia]] as part of his backstory for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

[[Image:carrie.jpg|thumb| Terrah LeAnne Yowman: ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL!]]
==Summary==
In it, Chris creates another [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] persona, Terrah LeAnne Yowman (one [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|gender-flipped Mary Sue]] wasn't enough for Chris), a high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] young lady with psychic powers. She is accused of being a [[homos|lesbian]] even though she is STRAIGHT, and all because she has more guy friends than [[gal-pals]]. Anybody calling her out on this is beaten the hell out of by a nearby homophobe. With little transition beyond establishing a [[Gal-pal|guy-pal]] with a suspiciously feminine name, Chris retells the story of his [[Manchester High School#Seinor Prom|"seinor prom"]] inexplicably fused with [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his graduation]].

Like in the real life high school graduation, Terrah is snubbed for awards despite the [[Honor_roll#Chris's award winning art work|awesomeness]] of [[Chris and art|her artwork]]. The reasonable thing for her to do is throw a hissy fit about it while exploding the high school, killing everyone there. A pity that her guy-friend was going to propose to her after the promduation. Now she must wander the halls eternally drawing a hideous, mutant abomination 'pon the empty walls and kill time until [[Mary Lee Walsh]] ghostbusts her ass. How there even ''are'' halls for her to haunt is a bit of a mystery, since she annihilates the entire fucking building with her [[Chris and Anger|hissy fit]]. In other words, bratty disproportionate retribution (or typical tard rage) at its finest.

{{quote|PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!|Terrah LeAnne Yowman, AND NOT CHRIS AT HIS GRADUATION}}

Chris, as always, fails to understand differences in gender relations and perception in society, as while a man who hangs out with a lot of women as strictly friends will get called gay, a woman who hangs out with a lot of guys is more likely to be called a "[[Wikipedia:Cock tease|tease]]" or a [[Wikipedia:Tomboy|tomboy]]. The only reasonable interaction in the story — a boy proposing to a girl on prom night, which is a melodramatic cliché but still happens in real life once in a while — is soured when one realizes "Tippansten" is meant to be a [[Tiffany Gowen|girl Chris knew from high school]], which means he also still wants a [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|heroine fresh from the shop]] to rescue him from a world that doesn't appreciate his "[[art]]."

Perhaps this desire to be rescued is what prompted him to try out the gender-flip itself, as well: in heterosexual romantic relationships, it's generally the guy who is expected to initiate things by asking the girl out. Chris, however, given his [[noviophobia]], the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], and having never had to work for anything in his life, would prefer to take the passive role. Therefore, he creates a female alter ego, for whom this passivity will hopefully be seen as more societally acceptable. Sadly, Terrah fails just as badly as Chris did and dies a [[virgin with rage]].

This story also confirms that Chris absolutely can't name for shit. (Seriously, [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]? And now ''Tippansten''? ''Yowman''? (Although Yowman could be a misspelling of 'Yeoman'.) And a raccoon cheerleader named Francine ''StripeCheer?'')

Interestingly, Francine StripeCheer is an analogue to [[Bionic]], rather than [[Sonichu]]. Notice how Bionic the basketball-playing hedgehog was turned into a cheerleading raccoon, as Chris is [[Women's Rights|far too sexist]] to have a girl actually playing a sport.

Despite the inherently smaller framework of a short-story, Chris still manages to make a number of continuity errors. In addition to the above-noted incomplete complete destruction of the school, it is also said that some students survived the hellsent hissyfit by leaving the prom early, despite it also being stated that all the attendees stayed till the FINAL END. Chris also proposes two alternative futures had Terrah not lost her shit at the prom, which in context seem mutually exclusive; one in which she anxiously awaits the school reunion so she can ask Tippenston to dance to "return the favor", and another in which Tippanston proposes to Terrah after the prom (and she presumably accepts). Thus, even when Chris is writing about things that are hypothetical ''in-universe'', he still manages to screw it up.

You may be wondering if Chris [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped this off]] from Stephen King's [[1974]] novel ''[[Wikipedia:Carrie (novel)|Carrie]]'', or the [[1976]] film ''[[Wikipedia:Carrie (film)|Carrie]]''. It has been suggested that Chris is too sheltered to have read the novel; however, it is likely that Chris has seen the movie adaptation of it. By no coincidence, the movie ''Carrie'' appeared in Chris's [[Netflix]] queue before he wrote this story. Considering how Chris can equate the death of [[Patti|his dog]] to the death of [[Ryan Cash|a human being]], it's easy to think he would consider not getting his stupid little awards exactly as bad (if not worse) than having pig's blood dumped on him.

==Text==
{{Quotebox|The High School used to be the respectable school, known as [[Manchester High School|Menchi-Nasu High]]. It was left behind and abandoned, because of lack of funds for that one school. Then the students left, and the "students" bummed around. There was an accident that happened at a [[Manchester_High_School#Seinor_Prom|Seinor Prom]] in [[1999]]; a [[autism|High-Functioning Autistic]] individual with Psychic Powers, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Terrah LeAnne Yowman]], roamed the halls with growing social outreachings; she had a number of good guy-pals, and a few [[gal-pals]]. She was constantly ridiculed with being labeled a [[homos|Lesbian]], because she hung out with MORE DUDES Mutually.

She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully [[The Creepy Stare|an intimidating glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight Homophobe would attack that bully with No Mercy; beat the crap out of that person.

Come her Seinor Prom in 1999, she asked her Best Guy-Pal, [[Tiffany Gowen|Tippanston Gowen]], to the Prom. And even though she felt nervous at first, he asked her to dance. She replied, "I have two left-feet." Still, he took her hand, and danced the night with her. She was most happy and in peace. Then after the last dance, he kissed her long and good. If she was still alive today, she would have been [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|anxiously waiting for the 2009 Reunion]] to return the favor of Gowen offering the Strong Autistic individual the best night of their life at the Prom.

Now, Terrah was a [[lie|Great]] Artist, as she was well-known and well-praised in the number of Art Classes she took at Menchi-Nasu High.

Following the last dance, they had the [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|Seinor Awards Ceremony]]; ALL the students stayed until the FINAL END of that night. Terrah got a Star-Pin for her Good Grades; that was the ONLY AWARD she would receive that night. She anxously awaited Awards for her Inspiring, Creative Artwork she had Hand-Painted, Carved, Molded, Drawn and all Media Taught to her, yet she received NO AWARDS FOR HER CREATIVITY. She felt distraught even when called out the passing of the ART AWARDS; Her Name was NOT SAID at all.

Only Few Left early enough to tell the tale, but AFTER the final award was passed, and during the FINAL DANCE, she was beside herself; feeling alone. In her Furious Rage in not being appreciated Creatively EVEN ONCE, she concentrated ALL HER PSYCHIC POWERS, SHOUTED "PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!", then a NOVA FLASH beamed from the Prom location, seen from as far as a Hundred Miles away. All that remained was Total Silence, Terrah's gown and Star Pin, and just nearby the gown, Tippanston's Dress Jacket, with a Wedding Ring in a box, and engraved in it, "To Terrah, My Sweetest, Most Creative Woman Ever. I Love You." Tippanston wanted to wait till he had brought her back home to propose, but sadly, he died with her that night.

Since then, Terrah haunted the halls of Menchi-Nasu High, drawing the Cheerleader Raccoon Character, [[Bionic|Francine StripeCheer]], she had created from her freshman year as Varsity Cheerleader Manager. }}

==Fan comic==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:F1p11.jpg
Image:F1p12.jpg
Image:F1p13.jpg
Image:F1p14.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of The High School Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R88HlvfLXB4}}
| stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type =
| info = Apologies to Howard Shore.
}}

==See also==
*[[Things Chris has ripped off]]

{{Writings}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:High School Story}}
[[Category:Prose]]

Family Guy

2011-12-18T12:52:13Z

Blusko:

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris's favorite ''Family Guy'' character, [[Pedofork|Herbert]]. ''Get your fat ass back here!'']]

'''''Family Guy''''' is an animated sitcom known for basing most of its jokes around pop-cultural references, which is interesting considering [[Chris]] rips it off so much in his comics, much like the show rips off everything else.

The series is also the "inspiration" for Chris's infamous ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] that appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and contained the one-off appearance of his character [[Sammy]], a creation that was a mix between Chris and [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]. Chris had hoped that the creator of ''Family Guy'', [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]], could possibly use his "skitch" in a future episode, but he unfortunately didn't realize MacFarlane is quite capable of making unfunny, plagiarized, poorly drawn, boring shit on his own.

==Influence on Chris==
[[Image:Meg 08-10-2009.jpg|thumb|Chris's declaration of intention regarding [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]].]]
Chris has variously expressed fanaticism for the series and watches it regularly. It can be inferred from this that the show's frequent use of [[random-access humor|non-sequitur, referential humor]] has bolstered Chris's belief that reproducing (or at least "borrowing") themes, motifs and characters from other works makes for legitimate, original art and has influenced his muddled understanding of [[parody]].

Also significant is his [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|citing of ''Family Guy'']] as material that endorses [[homos|homophobia]], having completely misinterpreted what was a not-so-subtle jab at the prejudice in an episode. As the series often deals with issues of bigotry and other social taboos in a manner which to most would constitute unsubtle, perhaps even ham-fisted, irony, the question is raised as to what other messages from the show Chris takes at face value.

The specific scene which Chris referenced depicted [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin|Stewie]] quoting [[Wikipedia:the Bible|the Bible]] to prove that [[Wikipedia:gay marriage|Gay marriage]] is wrong, the joke being twofold; Stewie himself is ambiguously [[Homos|gay]], making his quoting of the Bible hypocritical, and, as pointed out by [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]], he is too infantile to properly consider Biblical scripture, a dig at ''precisely'' the sort of brainless Bible-thumping Chris exhibits. This joke obviously soared over Chris's head, and even now, Chris references that scene to prove that being gay is wrong. What's even more ridiculous is the fact that Chris seems to have not heard of any specific parts of the Bible that condemn homosexuality, despite being a supposedly devout Christian his entire life, until it was spelled out in an animated comedy series.

It is notable that [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]] holds almost the complete opposite beliefs to Chris — he is [[Wikipedia:Liberalism (United States)|liberal]], [[Wikipedia:Atheism|atheist]], supports gay marriage, believes in gay rights, and has hinted at drug use. The irony is nearly painful. [[Jack Thaddeus]] once purchased ad space on [[CWCipedia]] to display an ad banner announcing MacFarlane's support for gay rights; Chris was mortally offended and demanded the ad's removal.
{{quote|"Why is it that Johnny Spaghetti Stain in fucking Georgia can knock a woman up, legally be married to her, and then beat the shit out of her, but these two intelligent, sophisticated writers who have been together for 20 years can't get married?"|Seth MacFarlane, supporting gay rights }}
Chris lifts lines and phrases from the show in conversation, perhaps unconsciously. He's been heard spouting the wacky phrase, "In da eaaaaggghh!", probably referring to an episode where Meg and her boyfriend take an abstinence pledge, and are discovered by Lois having ear sex.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears]]</ref> When he's angry — in the [[Father Call]], in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], in the e-mail that accompanied the [[sports bra photo series]] — Chris often declares that a person or situation "grinds his gears," which was Peter Griffin's stock saying in [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story'']].

==Similarities with ''Family Guy''==
[[Image:Peter Weston Griffen.JPG|thumb|The impostor!]]

While very likely unintentional, since it is highly doubtful that Seth MacFarlane knows of Chris's existence, there are a few instances of similarity from Chris's work with ''Family Guy''.

The first few minutes of "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]", when Mort Goldman looks desperately for a bathroom, only to accidentally go into Stewie's new time machine, is strikingly similar to the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' skitch.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchuComic8P5.htm ''Ghostbusters'' "skitch"]</ref>

Likewise, many trolls noticed how uncanny Peter Griffin in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Three Kings (Family Guy)|Three Kings]]" was wearing a shirt very similar to one of Chris's [[Chris and fashion|trademark shirts]]. However, the shirt was originally featured in the [[1986]] film, [[Wikipedia:Stand by Me (film)|''Stand by Me'']], on which this segment of "Three Kings" was based.<ref>[http://www.breakfastclubquotes.com/images/StandByMe1.jpg TCM advert for ''Stand by Me'']</ref>

In the episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Goy|Family Goy]]", Peter falls in love with a cardboard cutout of [[Kimmi|Kathy Ireland]] and later [[Sex tape|has sex with said cutout]].

"[[Wikipedia:Peter's Daughter|Peter's Daughter]]" features a plot centered around the characters making a conscious effort to treat Meg better (a point of contention Chris has always had with the series). This seems mostly coincidence, except for a sequence where Peter performs as a male stripper dressed like a police officer. His stripper name? ... "[[Officer Nasty]]".

==Controversy==
A majority of the show is based off its shock appeal, and has sparked several debates with parental groups over TV. Despite claiming to be a "family man", Chris believes that it is okay, even ''beneficial'', for parents to show their children ''Family Guy'' at extremely young and impressionable ages. But only under parental supervision! This is despite the show's notoriety for its onslaught of sex jokes, violence, and language. The jokes would fly right over any kid's head, yet Chris believes that kids would find the show so hilarious that they'd even quote it. Most kids would find the show uninteresting, if only for the fact that they wouldn't get ''any'' of the jokes, most of which are lewd.

==Chris and Meg==
{{Quote|Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode (I hope she has turned Eighteen by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story).|Chris, on what makes a story [[China|really good]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy Cwcipedia page on ''Family Guy'']</ref>}}[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|The depths of Chris's mind. Notice that Meg is the dominant one.]]

[[Image:ChrisChanfamilyguy.jpg|thumb|Chris's welcome page as of 9 October 2009.]]

Chris has a crush on [[Meg Griffin]] (a cartoon character, for those keeping track at home). However, what Chris doesn't seem to understand is that a good portion of the show's "humor" is intended to come at the expense of Meg Griffin. She is mostly portrayed as fat, unlikeable and ugly (sound familiar?) and given very few lines in episodes. Despite her portrayal, Chris has developed feelings for her, perhaps finding a kindred spirit in another person whose only use seems to be to entertain the masses by being constantly mistreated by the world at large (that or her name just reminds him of [[Megan Schroeder|someone...]]). Although she is [[pedofork|underage]], Chris has sought porn of her, going so far as to assimilate it into his drawings.

On 8 [[October 2009]], he commented on a [[YouTube]] clip from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]" depicting a hot alternate-universe Meg, lamenting that if only MacFarlane let Meg turn eighteen that CWC would "be all over her sweet pussy and breasts."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy-LEpQapQ</ref>

It is unknown what his opinion of Meg is following all the "nasty-ass" sex she had with the [[niggo]] Jerome in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Jerome Is the New Black|Jerome Is the New Black]]".

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris went and inserted Meg into the comic, [[Chris and his ego|having her compliment Chris on the comic]]. In turn, Chris defends Meg's "honor" by beating up a guy who insults the two of them. He then kisses Meg, cheating on his future wife [[Lovely Weather]]. Ironically, if Meg likes Chris, this means the rest of the Griffin family hates him. However, he revealed this to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, though to what purpose remains to be seen.

==Chris's message to Seth MacFarlane==
On 5 [[June 2009]], [[The Miscreants]] special ops agent [[Bryan Bash]] hacked into Chris's YouTube account and found a message Chris sent to ''Family Guy'' creator Seth MacFarlane via his YouTube account.

{{quotebox|Hello Seth,

I am a long-time Family Guy Fan. I have purchased the Blu-Ray of [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy|your Calvacade]]; I enjoyed all but the homosexual and dick jokes (I detest the [[homos]] very strongly). For your next bunch of 50 or so videos, please do more breast and vagina jokes.

Also, in Family Guy, PLEASE give [[Meg Griffin|Megan]] more respect, because she IS VERY BEATIFUL in my perspective, and she truly deserves MORE Positive attention and less abuse. Give her an irreversable Love Potion or something yo give her the attention that she deserves for MULTIPLE SEASONS and MULTIPLE CONSISTANT episodes.

We LOVE Megan Marie Griffin.

Peace,

Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu at http://www.cwcville.com}}

==''American Dad!''==
''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'' is another MacFarlane series, again based around a single family. Chris stated on the [[CWCipedia]] that "There should be More Stories starring Haley.": [[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Hayley Smith]] is the left-wing daughter of main character [[Wikipedia:Stan Smith (American Dad!)|Stan Smith]]. Doubtless Chris wanted more Hayley stories, not due to his love of marijuana jokes or the Democrats, but because he thought she was sexy.

==''The Cleveland Show''==
27 [[September 2009]] saw the debut of [[wikipedia:The Cleveland Show|''The Cleveland Show'']], a ''Family Guy'' spin-off that answered the question, "What would happen if we took a fairly bland supporting character on ''Family Guy'' and gave him his own show?" Naturally, it sounded like a solid gold idea to Chris, as he plugged the show heavily on one of his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|Captain's Logs]]. The eager endorsement of the show by an [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|odorous]], [[muscle bra|bra]]-wearing [[The Creepy Stare|creepy-ass]] manchild is certainly much appreciated by the Fox Network.

It would seem Chris may have been too hasty in his initial endorsement of the show. In a [[CWCipedia]] update on 11 [[December 2009]], after making several idiotic points about ''Family Guy'', his analysis of ''The Cleveland Show'' consisted simply of, "I do not care for all the dick jokes." This didn't stop him from buying the show's first season through the [[PlayStation Network]], though.

In another eerie coincidence, a recent episode revolved around a sex doll named [[Kimmi]].

On 22 [[March 2010]], Chris broke [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|his vow never to use the Internet again]] after thirty-six hours to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|complain]] about changes in the show's voice acting. He would continue his whining in [[Some Favored Comedians|a video about his favorite comedians]] [[May 2010|two months later]].

In an [[100 2279|October 2010]] video, Chris held up a DVD box set of the first season of ''The Cleveland Show'' and performed a terrible rendition of the show's theme tune. He spent $30 on this set, much to Jackie's chagrin.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat VIII]]</ref>

==The Chrisode==
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|Leaked concept sketches made by [[Trolls|Seth MacFarlane]] himself.]]
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9 December 2009]] Chris said that he'd heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane was planning on including him in a future ''Family Guy'' episode. This obviously fake news inflated [[Chris and his Ego|Chris's ego]] to [[Giant Penis Comic|gigantic proportions]], to the point where he felt the need to pitch an idea for the plot. Below is the {{CWCipedia link|Family Guy|plot he posted}} on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have described the story in a nutshell in my [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|recent video]]. But to reiterate (the final story will be typed up then copied/pasted onto this page), The show opens on Megan going onto the [[Cwcipedia]] on her computer in her room, reading the latest page uploaded and enjoying it. Later, she sends a message for the [[Mailbag]], asking if I could come to Quahog for their upcoming Comic Book Convention to show off my work. I respond, "[[Rape|I just may, Meg]]. ;)" Then I later drive up to Quahog in [[Son-Chu|my car]] (debatable on the destination being the Comic Con or the Griffin House), either way, the Griffins greet and welcome me. Then I break out [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|my two]] [[S-Chu Ball]]s, toss them and release [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; more greetings. Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode ([[pedofork|I hope she has turned Eighteen]] by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story). For the [[Wikipedia:Subplot|"B" Story]], Brian gets a bit [[autism|antsy]] around the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|Lovehogs]]' cuddlings, and he just could not help but ask them about how they maintain their relationship. And Sonichu and Rosechu tell Brian and help him find himself a new good girlfriend. **Suggestion to Seth, Let's Add a Smart, [[Patti-Chan|Sweet Girl Dog]] for Brian (Yes, SHE TALKS), as for breed, [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|I think any sexy breed]] (not a poodle; nothing against poodles, but I feel that a poodle might not work well for Brian).}}

At no point does Chris suggest anything that could possibly lead into a joke. Even if you don't like the show, you've got to admit that it's funnier than what he suggests.

==Chris's criticisms==
Although Chris loves ''Family Guy'', he has several ideas that he's certain would make the show much, much better. Most of his suggestions revolve around his infantile fears of [[homos]]exuality, his sad ability to fall desperately in love with [[Julie|fictional women]] and issues with the plot that only someone with [[autism]] would notice. Also, the tower incident that [[Chris]] is referring to takes place in the movie Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. However, Chris is wrong about it causing Stewie to be straight. This is because it is pretty obviously hinted in this movie that he is gay, as he is a virgin at 30, still shows very flamboyant tendencies and is very reluctant to have sex with a woman.

Also: subtle hints of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]].

{{quotebox|Family Guy
-Megan does not deserve the abuse she gets. She is a Beautiful Girl, she is Very Smart, and she is the Oldest of the three children. So, Why.T.F. does Seth let most everyone treat her terribly? What is it about her that everyone is seeing to instinctively wail on her by default? WHAT and WHY?!

-Stewie should have let that tower fall on him; at least in the future scenario there, he Ended Up Straight.

-Chris finally got the best girlfriend he could ask for at the end of Season 6, Anna, so what happened to her between then and when Connie dated him in Season 7?

-While I can see Brain looking for the womanly qualities that he finds in the women he's dated, why does he not date female talking dogs who are That Pretty, Smart and all that?

-In "Road to Multiverse", in the "Robot Chicken" Universe, Stewie asks Seth Greene through Chris, "How does it feel to be on a Major Network for 30 Seconds?" Upon watching the video file on my PS3, the time in that universe was Only 20 Seconds Total, and there were NO additional portions of that scene in the version later shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Seth McFarline owes Seth Greene 10 Seconds and then some.

American Dad
-There should be More Stories starring Haley.

The Cleveland Show
-I do not care for all the dick jokes. }}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

* [[Sammy]] - Chris's bastard love child creation of him combined with Peter Griffin.
* ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''
* ''[[South Park]]''

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Family Guy|''Family Guy'']] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2011-12-18T12:38:52Z

Blusko:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I [[curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you [[Dream]] Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

[[Image:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest]]

In [[June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment [[America]] (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two [[PSP]]s and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be overstated. Failure to win the contest was not an option.

==Master Onion A-La Mode==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cEmM4JKZK8I}}
| stardate = 29 [[June 2007]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Stackhouse|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Soul_Calibur#Chris_vs_Mary_Lee_Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next = [[CWC_is_Angry#Video|CWC is Angry]]
}}

To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ3o3kQZWm8 Chop Chop Master Onion Rap]. Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well, considering that he reads its lyrics while "performing," not bothering to rehearse/learn the lines. But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared? Oddly, he peppers the video with various video effects that seem to come from what is likely the default video editing program of EyeToy/PSEye, including a hilarious caption of "Birthday Boy" popping up during one point. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice', only for it to turn into laughing material. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise.

{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more)}}

=== Transcript ===

<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and [[Homo|go with him now.]]
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

[[CWC Fighter|Kick! Punch!]] It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get [[Rocky Shoemaker|rocky]],
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a [[Muscle bra|tit]]-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

[[Guitar Hero]] on [[PlayStation 3]]
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem>

==Campaign==
[[File:Stink Lines by Archwig.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation]]

Chris's video made it into the top 10, probably because a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]].

At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving the flier to them. Of course, no one voted for Chris.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref> He took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts.

Chris also badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote for him. In return for his vote, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Chris wasn't interested in Cole's plight, and in return Cole never voted for him.

Another person Chris lobbied to vote for him was Susan Hannifan<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#July]]</ref>, a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] Guidance Counselor to whom Chris showed a disrespectful attitude in the past.<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004]]</ref>

On the day before voting ended, Chris posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].{{clear}}

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, not surprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]], whom Chris bears a grudge against as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video counts as ''a cappella''. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

The irony is Chris actually violated [http://images.innovyx.net/dp/scea/PSP/adhoc/062507/rules.html?ILC-Boards&LINK=CHOPCHOP062607 da rules] by making up bits and pieces of his own lyrics, as seen above. Just about the only logical reason Chris got as far as he did is that the judges had ''never quite seen anything like this before.''

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (No, we have no idea why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)
{{-}}
==Aftermath==

Because Chris was infuriated that he did not win the trip to Seattle, he sent an e-mail to the company that ran the contest to cry foul on [[Chris E-mails 2007#August|03 August 2007]]:

{{quote|[[Chris and His Ego|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP]] SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*

I had my fantasies of having fun with Megan, taking her to a really extravagent ''[sic]'' destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

[[CWC is Sad|Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.]]

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

[[File:Th WillyWonkaYouLose.gif|thumb|right|Sony's response to Chris's plea for an appeal]]

Yes, Chris really did tell a complete stranger he should have won that contest because he wanted to fuck his best friend.

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against [[Adam Stackhouse]] and the other winners, using his favorite "[[Kick the Autistic]]" crutch. When people advised him to relax, he told them to shut up. As a result, he was put on a time out by an admin.

Two days later, Chris continued his rampage against Adam Stackhouse, during which he created a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. He went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the Honest, Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

During Christian's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost and that she would never have gone with him on the trip if he had won. Also, Chris claims to have contracted a "[[dirty crapped briefs|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body making this video.

There are actually two versions of the video. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. Either this version is the original version ''before'' Megan broke up with Chris, and Chris had to remove her picture to make amends, or the video with the picture was made ''much'' later, due to Chris's pangs of agony over long-lost love.

Regarding Adam, Chris made a video where, in silence, he [[CWC is Angry|repeatedly shot with a toy gun at a photo of Adam]].

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to comfort himself on losing the contest. Parappatherapingdog. [[Chris and English|Good job]].<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NadyUs_DWK8}}
| maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| stardate = 9 [[January 2010]]
| type = Remix
}}

==Sources==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FFI3HKPS Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]][[Category:Events]][[Category:Contests]][[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-06-29]]

Parody

2011-11-22T19:31:15Z

Blusko: replacing dead link

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the [[USA]]; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==

[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and, especially considering his workmanship, those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

Speaking legally rather than artistically, in the United States a valid parody should demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work."<ref>http://www.publaw.com/article/parody-fair-use-or-copyright-infringement</ref> If Chris really does have some parodic "purpose" in mind for ''Sonichu'', the sheer volume of ideas he has simply appropriated from other sources is weighted against him; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves are far too derivative of the original materials to qualify as pastiche or homage. Chris merely chooses to mix and match entire ready-made plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Adventure of Link''), making only superficial changes and avoiding any decent narration along the way. Ultimately the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation]], Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. This message is ham-fisted, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities," it's quite possible that he literally [[Chris_and_reality|believes ED ''is'' a business]].

Further demonstrating Chris's ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], in the next issue. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Also, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==Chris does not understand the concept of parody==

Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

He makes the same error in the [[Adult Swim posts]]. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==

While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his abomination by claiming "parody," he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "troll works": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Humorously, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==

*[[Chris and the Law]]

== Sources ==

<references />

==Links to actual parodies==

*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]
*[http://www.sonichuttahcs.deviantart.com/ 'Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series' on DeviantART]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

White knight

2011-08-24T19:00:30Z

Blusko: /* Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth */

[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of Bob and Barbara's sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's parents have been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that his parents should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so his parents can enjoy the last few years of their lives in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]

Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris made himself an outcast===
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to circumstances that cannot be foreseen, he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

[[Svenka]] is a counter-troll.

On 6 [[May 2009]], [[YouTube]] user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.

====TV Tropes====
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, TV Tropes doesn't have as much experience with Chris as we do and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

For reasons unknown, the message was removed.

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Parody

2011-06-25T10:44:19Z

Blusko: /* Why Sonichu is not a parody */

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the [[USA]]; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==

[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

Speaking legally rather than artistically, in the United States a valid parody should demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work."<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref> If Chris really does have some parodic "purpose" in mind for ''Sonichu'', the sheer volume of ideas he has simply appropriated from other sources is weighted against him; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves are far too derivative of the original materials to qualify as pastiche or homage. Chris merely chooses to mix and match entire ready-made plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Adventure of Link''), making only superficial changes and avoiding any decent narration along the way. Ultimately the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation]], Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. This message is ham-fisted, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities," it's quite possible that he literally [[Chris_and_reality|believes ED ''is'' a business]].

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], in the next issue. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Also, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==Chris does not understand the concept of parody==

Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

He makes the same error in the [[Adult Swim posts]]. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==

While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his abomination by claiming "parody," he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "troll works": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Humorously, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==

*[[Chris and the Law]]

==Sauces==

<references />

==Links to actual parodies==

*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]
*[http://www.sonichuttahcs.deviantart.com/ 'Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series' on DeviantART]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Parody

2011-06-25T10:39:19Z

Blusko: tidy up

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the [[USA]]; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==

[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

Speaking legally rather than artistically, in the United States a valid parody should demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work."<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref> If Chris really does have some parodic "purpose" in mind for ''Sonichu'', the sheer volume of ideas he has simply appropriated from other sources is weighted against him; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves are far too derivative of the original materials to qualify as pastiche or homage. Chris merely chooses to mix and match entire ready-made plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Adventure of Link''), making only superficial changes and avoiding any decent narration along the way. Perhaps the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation]], Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. This message is ham-fisted, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities," it's quite possible that he literally [[Chris_and_reality|believes ED ''is'' a business]].

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], in the next issue. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Also, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==Chris does not understand the concept of parody==

Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

He makes the same error in the [[Adult Swim posts]]. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==

While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his abomination by claiming "parody," he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "troll works": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Humorously, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==

*[[Chris and the Law]]

==Sauces==

<references />

==Links to actual parodies==

*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]
*[http://www.sonichuttahcs.deviantart.com/ 'Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series' on DeviantART]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Family Guy

2011-05-02T20:39:46Z

Blusko: /* Influence on Chris */

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris's favorite ''Family Guy'' character, [[Pedofork|Herbert]]. ''Get your fat ass back here!'']]

'''''Family Guy''''' is an animated sitcom known for basing most of its jokes around pop-cultural references, which is interesting considering [[Chris]] rips it off so much in his comics.

The series is also the inspiration for Chris's infamous ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] that appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and contained the one-off appearance of his character [[Sammy]], a creation that was a mix between Chris and [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]. Chris had hoped that the creator of ''Family Guy'', [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]], could possibly use his sketch in a future episode, but he unfortunately didn't realize MacFarlane is quite capable of making unfunny, plagiarized, boring shit on his own.

==Influence on Chris==
[[Image:Meg 08-10-2009.jpg|thumb|Chris's declaration of intention regarding [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]].]]
Chris has variously expressed fanaticism for the series and watches it regularly. It can be inferred from this that the show's frequent use of [[random-access humor|non-sequitur, referential humor]] has bolstered Chris's belief that reproducing (or at least deriving) themes, motifs and characters from other works makes for legitimate, original art and has influenced his muddled understanding of [[parody]].

Also significant is his [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|citing of ''Family Guy'']] as material that endorses [[homos|homophobia]], having completely misinterpreted what was a not-so-subtle jab at the prejudice in an episode. As the series often deals with issues of bigotry and other social taboos in a manner which to most would constitute unsubtle, perhaps even ham-fisted, irony, the question is raised as to what other messages from the show Chris takes at face value.

The specific scene which Chris referenced depicted [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin|Stewie]] quoting [[Wikipedia:the Bible|the Bible]] to prove that [[Wikipedia:gay marriage|Gay marriage]] is wrong, the joke being twofold; Stewie himself is ambiguously [[Homos|gay]], making his quoting of the Bible hypocritical, and, as pointed out by [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]], he is too infantile to properly consider Biblical scripture, a dig at ''precisely'' the sort of brainless Bible-thumping Chris exhibits. This joke obviously soared over Chris's head, and even now, Chris references that scene to prove that being gay is wrong. What's even more ridiculous is the fact that Chris seems to have not heard of any specific parts of the Bible that condemn homosexuality, despite being a supposedly devout Christian his entire life, until it was spelled out in an animated comedy series.

It is notable that [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]] holds almost the complete opposite beliefs to Chris — he is [[Wikipedia:Liberalism (United States)|liberal]], [[Wikipedia:Atheism|atheist]], supports gay marriage, believes in gay rights, and has hinted at drug use. The irony is nearly painful. [[Jack Thaddeus]] once purchased ad space on [[CWCipedia]] to display an ad banner announcing MacFarlane's support for gay rights; Chris was mortally offended and demanded the ad's removal.
{{quote|"Why is it that Johnny Spaghetti Stain in fucking Georgia can knock a woman up, legally be married to her, and then beat the shit out of her, but these two intelligent, sophisticated writers who have been together for 20 years can't get married?"|Seth MacFarlane, supporting gay rights }}
Chris lifts lines and phrases from the show in conversation, perhaps unconsciously. He's been heard spouting the wacky phrase, "In da eaaaaggghh!", probably referring to an episode where Meg and her boyfriend take an abstinence pledge, and are discovered by Lois having ear sex.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears]]</ref> When he's angry — in the [[Father Call]], in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], in the e-mail that accompanied the [[sports bra photo series]] — Chris often declares that a person or situation "grinds his gears," which was Peter Griffin's stock saying in [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story'']].

==Similarities with ''Family Guy''==
[[Image:Peter Weston Griffen.JPG|thumb|The impostor!]]

While very likely unintentional, since it is highly doubtful that Seth MacFarlane knows of Chris's existence, there are a few instances of similarity from Chris's work with ''Family Guy''.

The first few minutes of "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]", when Mort Goldman looks desperately for a bathroom, only to accidentally go into Stewie's new time machine, is strikingly similar to the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' skitch.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchuComic8P5.htm ''Ghostbusters'' "skitch"]</ref>

Likewise, many trolls noticed how uncanny Peter Griffin in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Three Kings (Family Guy)|Three Kings]]" was wearing a shirt very similar to one of Chris's [[Chris and fashion|trademark shirts]]. However, the shirt was originally featured in the [[1986]] film, [[Wikipedia:Stand by Me (film)|''Stand by Me'']], on which this segment of "Three Kings" was based.<ref>[http://www.breakfastclubquotes.com/images/StandByMe1.jpg TCM advert for ''Stand by Me'']</ref>

In the episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Goy|Family Goy]]", Peter falls in love with a cardboard cutout of [[Kimmi|Kathy Ireland]] and later [[Sex tape|has sex with said cutout]].

"[[Wikipedia:Peter's Daughter|Peter's Daughter]]" features a plot centered around the characters making a conscious effort to treat Meg better (a point of contention Chris has always had with the series). This seems mostly coincidence, except for a sequence where Peter performs as a male stripper dressed like a police officer. His stripper name? ... "[[Officer Nasty]]".

==Controversy==
A majority of the show is based off its shock appeal, and has sparked several debates with parental groups over TV. Despite claiming to be a "family man", Chris believes that it is okay, even ''beneficial'', for parents to show their children ''Family Guy'' at extremely young and impressionable ages. But only under parental supervision! This is despite the show's notoriety for its onslaught of sex jokes, violence, and language. The jokes would fly right over any kid's head, yet Chris believes that kids would find the show so hilarious that they'd even quote it. Most kids would find the show uninteresting, if only for the fact that they wouldn't get ''any'' of the jokes, most of which are lewd.

==Chris and Meg==
{{Quote|Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode (I hope she has turned Eighteen by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story).|Chris, on what makes a story [[China|really good]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy Cwcipedia page on ''Family Guy'']</ref>}}[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|The depths of Chris's mind. Notice that Meg is the dominant one.]]

[[Image:ChrisChanfamilyguy.jpg|thumb|Chris's welcome page as of 9 October 2009.]]

Chris has a crush on [[Meg Griffin]] (a cartoon character, for those keeping track at home). However, what Chris doesn't seem to understand is that a good portion of the show's "humor" is intended to come at the expense of Meg Griffin. She is mostly portrayed as fat, unlikeable and ugly (sound familiar?) and given very few lines in episodes. Despite her portrayal, Chris has developed feelings for her, perhaps finding a kindred spirit in another person whose only use seems to be to entertain the masses by being constantly mistreated by the world at large (that or her name just reminds him of [[Megan Schroeder|someone...]]). Although she is [[pedofork|underage]], Chris has sought porn of her, going so far as to assimilate it into his comics (see [[:Image:Chrischantraced2.jpg|here]]).

On 8 [[October 2009]], he commented on a [[YouTube]] clip from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]" depicting a hot alternate-universe Meg, lamenting that if only MacFarlane let Meg turn eighteen that CWC would "be all over her sweet pussy and breasts."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy-LEpQapQ</ref>

It is unknown what his opinion of Meg is following all the "nasty-ass" sex she had with the [[niggo]] Jerome in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Jerome Is the New Black|Jerome Is the New Black]]".

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris went and inserted Meg into the comic, [[Chris and his ego|having her compliment Chris on the comic]]. In turn, Chris defends Meg's "honor" by beating up a guy who insults the two of them. He then kisses Meg, cheating on his future wife [[Lovely Weather]]. Ironically, if Meg likes Chris, this means the rest of the Griffin family hates him. However, he revealed this to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, though to what purpose remains to be seen.

==Chris's message to Seth MacFarlane==
On 5 [[June 2009]], [[The Miscreants]] special ops agent [[Bryan Bash]] hacked into Chris's YouTube account and found a message Chris sent to ''Family Guy'' creator Seth MacFarlane via his YouTube account.

{{quotebox|Hello Seth,

I am a long-time Family Guy Fan. I have purchased the Blu-Ray of [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy|your Calvacade]]; I enjoyed all but the homosexual and dick jokes (I detest the [[homos]] very strongly). For your next bunch of 50 or so videos, please do more breast and vagina jokes.

Also, in Family Guy, PLEASE give [[Meg Griffin|Megan]] more respect, because she IS VERY BEATIFUL in my perspective, and she truly deserves MORE Positive attention and less abuse. Give her an irreversable Love Potion or something yo give her the attention that she deserves for MULTIPLE SEASONS and MULTIPLE CONSISTANT episodes.

We LOVE Megan Marie Griffin.

Peace,

Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu at http://www.cwcville.com}}

==''American Dad!''==
''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'' is another MacFarlane series, again based around a single family. Chris stated on the [[CWCipedia]] that "There should be More Stories starring Haley.": [[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Hayley Smith]] is the left-wing daughter of main character [[Wikipedia:Stan Smith (American Dad!)|Stan Smith]]. Doubtless Chris wanted more Hayley stories, not due to his love of equality or the Democrats, but because he thought she was sexy.

==''The Cleveland Show''==
27 [[September 2009]] saw the debut of [[wikipedia:The Cleveland Show|''The Cleveland Show'']], a ''Family Guy'' spin-off that answered the question, "What would happen if we took a fairly bland supporting character on ''Family Guy'' and gave him his own show?" Naturally, it sounded like a solid gold idea to Chris, as he plugged the show heavily on one of his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|Captain's Logs]]. The eager endorsement of the show by an [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|odorous]], [[muscle bra|bra]]-wearing [[The Creepy Stare|creepy-ass]] manchild is certainly much appreciated by the Fox Network.

It would seem Chris may have been too hasty in his initial endorsement of the show. In a [[CWCipedia]] update on 11 [[December 2009]], after making several idiotic points about ''Family Guy'', his analysis of ''The Cleveland Show'' consisted simply of, "I do not care for all the dick jokes." This didn't stop him from buying the show's first season through the [[PlayStation Network]], though.

In another eerie coincidence, a recent episode revolved around a sex doll named [[Kimmi]].

On 22 [[March 2010]], Chris broke [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|his vow never to use the Internet again]] after thirty-six hours to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|complain]] about changes in the show's voice acting. He would continue his whining in [[Some Favored Comedians|a video about his favorite comedians]] [[May 2010|two months later]].

In an [[100_2279|October 2010]] video, Chris held up a DVD box set of the first season of ''The Cleveland Show'' and performed a terrible rendition of the show's theme tune. He spent $30 on this set, much to Jackie's chagrin.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat VIII]]</ref>

==The Chrisode==
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|Leaked concept sketches made by [[Trolls|Seth MacFarlane]] himself.]]
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9 December 2009]] Chris said that he'd heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane was planning on including him in a future ''Family Guy'' episode. This obviously fake news inflated [[Chris and his Ego|Chris's ego]] to [[Giant Penis Comic|gigantic proportions]], to the point where he felt the need to pitch an idea for the plot. Below is the plot he posted on the CWCipedia.

{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have described the story in a nutshell in my [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|recent video]]. But to reiterate (the final story will be typed up then copied/pasted onto this page), The show opens on Megan going onto the [[Cwcipedia]] on her computer in her room, reading the latest page uploaded and enjoying it. Later, she sends a message for the [[Mailbag]], asking if I could come to Quahog for their upcoming Comic Book Convention to show off my work. I respond, "[[Rape|I just may, Meg]]. ;)" Then I later drive up to Quahog in [[Son-Chu|my car]] (debatable on the destination being the Comic Con or the Griffin House), either way, the Griffins greet and welcome me. Then I break out [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|my two]] [[S-Chu Ball]]s, toss them and release [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; more greetings. Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode ([[pedofork|I hope she has turned Eighteen]] by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story). For the [[Wikipedia:Subplot|"B" Story]], Brian gets a bit [[autism|antsy]] around the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|Lovehogs]]' cuddlings, and he just could not help but ask them about how they maintain their relationship. And Sonichu and Rosechu tell Brian and help him find himself a new good girlfriend. **Suggestion to Seth, Let's Add a Smart, [[Patti-Chan|Sweet Girl Dog]] for Brian (Yes, SHE TALKS), as for breed, [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|I think any sexy breed]] (not a poodle; nothing against poodles, but I feel that a poodle might not work well for Brian).}}

At no point does Chris suggest anything that could possibly lead into a joke. Even if you don't like the show, you've got to admit that it's funnier than what he suggests.

==Chris's criticisms==
Although Chris loves ''Family Guy'', he has several ideas that he's certain would make the show much, much better. Most of his suggestions revolve around his infantile fears of [[homos|homosexuality]] and his sad ability to fall desperately in love with [[Julie|fictional women]]. Also: subtle hints of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]].

{{quotebox|Family Guy
-Megan does not deserve the abuse she gets. She is a Beautiful Girl, she is Very Smart, and she is the Oldest of the three children. So, Why.T.F. does Seth let most everyone treat her terribly? What is it about her that everyone is seeing to instinctively wail on her by default? WHAT and WHY?!

-Stewie should have let that tower fall on him; at least in the future scenario there, he Ended Up Straight.

-Chris finally got the best girlfriend he could ask for at the end of Season 6, Anna, so what happened to her between then and when Connie dated him in Season 7?

-While I can see Brain looking for the womanly qualities that he finds in the women he's dated, why does he not date female talking dogs who are That Pretty, Smart and all that?

-In "Road to Multiverse", in the "Robot Chicken" Universe, Stewie asks Seth Greene through Chris, "How does it feel to be on a Major Network for 30 Seconds?" Upon watching the video file on my PS3, the time in that universe was Only 20 Seconds Total, and there were NO additional portions of that scene in the version later shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Seth McFarline owes Seth Greene 10 Seconds and then some.

American Dad
-There should be More Stories starring Haley.

The Cleveland Show
-I do not care for all the dick jokes. }}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

* [[Sammy]] - Chris's bastard love child creation of him combined with Peter Griffin.
* ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''
* ''[[South Park]]''

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Family Guy|''Family Guy'']] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Family Guy

2011-05-02T20:38:58Z

Blusko: /* Influence on Chris */ slight changes to make section cohere better

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris's favorite ''Family Guy'' character, [[Pedofork|Herbert]]. ''Get your fat ass back here!'']]

'''''Family Guy''''' is an animated sitcom known for basing most of its jokes around pop-cultural references, which is interesting considering [[Chris]] rips it off so much in his comics.

The series is also the inspiration for Chris's infamous ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] that appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and contained the one-off appearance of his character [[Sammy]], a creation that was a mix between Chris and [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]. Chris had hoped that the creator of ''Family Guy'', [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]], could possibly use his sketch in a future episode, but he unfortunately didn't realize MacFarlane is quite capable of making unfunny, plagiarized, boring shit on his own.

==Influence on Chris==
[[Image:Meg 08-10-2009.jpg|thumb|Chris's declaration of intention regarding [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]].]]
Chris has variously expressed fanaticism for the series and watches it regularly. It can be inferred from this that the show's frequent use of [[random-access humor|non-sequitur, referential humor]] has bolstered Chris's belief that reproducing (or at least deriving) themes, motifs and characters from other works makes for legitimate, original art and has influenced his muddled understanding of [[parody]].

Also significant is his [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|citing of ''Family Guy'']] as material that endorses [[homos|homophobia]], having completely misinterpreted what was a not-so-subtle jab at the prejudice in an episode. As the series often deals with issues of bigotry and other social taboos in a manner which to most would constitute unsubtle, perhaps even ham-fisted, irony, the question is raised as to what other messages from the show Chris takes at face value.

The specific scene [[Leviticus|which Chris referenced]] depicted [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin|Stewie]] quoting [[Wikipedia:the Bible|the Bible]] to prove that [[Wikipedia:gay marriage|Gay marriage]] is wrong, the joke being twofold; Stewie himself is ambiguously [[Homos|gay]], making his quoting of the Bible hypocritical, and, as pointed out by [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]], he is too infantile to properly consider Biblical scripture, a dig at ''precisely'' the sort of brainless Bible-thumping Chris exhibits. This joke obviously soared over Chris's head, and even now, Chris references that scene to prove that being gay is wrong. What's even more ridiculous is the fact that Chris seems to have not heard of any specific parts of the Bible that condemn homosexuality, despite being a supposedly devout Christian his entire life, until it was spelled out in an animated comedy series.

It is notable that [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]] holds almost the complete opposite beliefs to Chris — he is [[Wikipedia:Liberalism (United States)|liberal]], [[Wikipedia:Atheism|atheist]], supports gay marriage, believes in gay rights, and has hinted at drug use. The irony is nearly painful. [[Jack Thaddeus]] once purchased ad space on [[CWCipedia]] to display an ad banner announcing MacFarlane's support for gay rights; Chris was mortally offended and demanded the ad's removal.
{{quote|"Why is it that Johnny Spaghetti Stain in fucking Georgia can knock a woman up, legally be married to her, and then beat the shit out of her, but these two intelligent, sophisticated writers who have been together for 20 years can't get married?"|Seth MacFarlane, supporting gay rights }}
Chris lifts lines and phrases from the show in conversation, perhaps unconsciously. He's been heard spouting the wacky phrase, "In da eaaaaggghh!", probably referring to an episode where Meg and her boyfriend take an abstinence pledge, and are discovered by Lois having ear sex.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears]]</ref> When he's angry — in the [[Father Call]], in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], in the e-mail that accompanied the [[sports bra photo series]] — Chris often declares that a person or situation "grinds his gears," which was Peter Griffin's stock saying in [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story'']].

==Similarities with ''Family Guy''==
[[Image:Peter Weston Griffen.JPG|thumb|The impostor!]]

While very likely unintentional, since it is highly doubtful that Seth MacFarlane knows of Chris's existence, there are a few instances of similarity from Chris's work with ''Family Guy''.

The first few minutes of "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]", when Mort Goldman looks desperately for a bathroom, only to accidentally go into Stewie's new time machine, is strikingly similar to the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' skitch.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchuComic8P5.htm ''Ghostbusters'' "skitch"]</ref>

Likewise, many trolls noticed how uncanny Peter Griffin in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Three Kings (Family Guy)|Three Kings]]" was wearing a shirt very similar to one of Chris's [[Chris and fashion|trademark shirts]]. However, the shirt was originally featured in the [[1986]] film, [[Wikipedia:Stand by Me (film)|''Stand by Me'']], on which this segment of "Three Kings" was based.<ref>[http://www.breakfastclubquotes.com/images/StandByMe1.jpg TCM advert for ''Stand by Me'']</ref>

In the episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Goy|Family Goy]]", Peter falls in love with a cardboard cutout of [[Kimmi|Kathy Ireland]] and later [[Sex tape|has sex with said cutout]].

"[[Wikipedia:Peter's Daughter|Peter's Daughter]]" features a plot centered around the characters making a conscious effort to treat Meg better (a point of contention Chris has always had with the series). This seems mostly coincidence, except for a sequence where Peter performs as a male stripper dressed like a police officer. His stripper name? ... "[[Officer Nasty]]".

==Controversy==
A majority of the show is based off its shock appeal, and has sparked several debates with parental groups over TV. Despite claiming to be a "family man", Chris believes that it is okay, even ''beneficial'', for parents to show their children ''Family Guy'' at extremely young and impressionable ages. But only under parental supervision! This is despite the show's notoriety for its onslaught of sex jokes, violence, and language. The jokes would fly right over any kid's head, yet Chris believes that kids would find the show so hilarious that they'd even quote it. Most kids would find the show uninteresting, if only for the fact that they wouldn't get ''any'' of the jokes, most of which are lewd.

==Chris and Meg==
{{Quote|Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode (I hope she has turned Eighteen by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story).|Chris, on what makes a story [[China|really good]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy Cwcipedia page on ''Family Guy'']</ref>}}[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|The depths of Chris's mind. Notice that Meg is the dominant one.]]

[[Image:ChrisChanfamilyguy.jpg|thumb|Chris's welcome page as of 9 October 2009.]]

Chris has a crush on [[Meg Griffin]] (a cartoon character, for those keeping track at home). However, what Chris doesn't seem to understand is that a good portion of the show's "humor" is intended to come at the expense of Meg Griffin. She is mostly portrayed as fat, unlikeable and ugly (sound familiar?) and given very few lines in episodes. Despite her portrayal, Chris has developed feelings for her, perhaps finding a kindred spirit in another person whose only use seems to be to entertain the masses by being constantly mistreated by the world at large (that or her name just reminds him of [[Megan Schroeder|someone...]]). Although she is [[pedofork|underage]], Chris has sought porn of her, going so far as to assimilate it into his comics (see [[:Image:Chrischantraced2.jpg|here]]).

On 8 [[October 2009]], he commented on a [[YouTube]] clip from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]" depicting a hot alternate-universe Meg, lamenting that if only MacFarlane let Meg turn eighteen that CWC would "be all over her sweet pussy and breasts."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy-LEpQapQ</ref>

It is unknown what his opinion of Meg is following all the "nasty-ass" sex she had with the [[niggo]] Jerome in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Jerome Is the New Black|Jerome Is the New Black]]".

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris went and inserted Meg into the comic, [[Chris and his ego|having her compliment Chris on the comic]]. In turn, Chris defends Meg's "honor" by beating up a guy who insults the two of them. He then kisses Meg, cheating on his future wife [[Lovely Weather]]. Ironically, if Meg likes Chris, this means the rest of the Griffin family hates him. However, he revealed this to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, though to what purpose remains to be seen.

==Chris's message to Seth MacFarlane==
On 5 [[June 2009]], [[The Miscreants]] special ops agent [[Bryan Bash]] hacked into Chris's YouTube account and found a message Chris sent to ''Family Guy'' creator Seth MacFarlane via his YouTube account.

{{quotebox|Hello Seth,

I am a long-time Family Guy Fan. I have purchased the Blu-Ray of [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy|your Calvacade]]; I enjoyed all but the homosexual and dick jokes (I detest the [[homos]] very strongly). For your next bunch of 50 or so videos, please do more breast and vagina jokes.

Also, in Family Guy, PLEASE give [[Meg Griffin|Megan]] more respect, because she IS VERY BEATIFUL in my perspective, and she truly deserves MORE Positive attention and less abuse. Give her an irreversable Love Potion or something yo give her the attention that she deserves for MULTIPLE SEASONS and MULTIPLE CONSISTANT episodes.

We LOVE Megan Marie Griffin.

Peace,

Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu at http://www.cwcville.com}}

==''American Dad!''==
''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'' is another MacFarlane series, again based around a single family. Chris stated on the [[CWCipedia]] that "There should be More Stories starring Haley.": [[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Hayley Smith]] is the left-wing daughter of main character [[Wikipedia:Stan Smith (American Dad!)|Stan Smith]]. Doubtless Chris wanted more Hayley stories, not due to his love of equality or the Democrats, but because he thought she was sexy.

==''The Cleveland Show''==
27 [[September 2009]] saw the debut of [[wikipedia:The Cleveland Show|''The Cleveland Show'']], a ''Family Guy'' spin-off that answered the question, "What would happen if we took a fairly bland supporting character on ''Family Guy'' and gave him his own show?" Naturally, it sounded like a solid gold idea to Chris, as he plugged the show heavily on one of his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|Captain's Logs]]. The eager endorsement of the show by an [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|odorous]], [[muscle bra|bra]]-wearing [[The Creepy Stare|creepy-ass]] manchild is certainly much appreciated by the Fox Network.

It would seem Chris may have been too hasty in his initial endorsement of the show. In a [[CWCipedia]] update on 11 [[December 2009]], after making several idiotic points about ''Family Guy'', his analysis of ''The Cleveland Show'' consisted simply of, "I do not care for all the dick jokes." This didn't stop him from buying the show's first season through the [[PlayStation Network]], though.

In another eerie coincidence, a recent episode revolved around a sex doll named [[Kimmi]].

On 22 [[March 2010]], Chris broke [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|his vow never to use the Internet again]] after thirty-six hours to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|complain]] about changes in the show's voice acting. He would continue his whining in [[Some Favored Comedians|a video about his favorite comedians]] [[May 2010|two months later]].

In an [[100_2279|October 2010]] video, Chris held up a DVD box set of the first season of ''The Cleveland Show'' and performed a terrible rendition of the show's theme tune. He spent $30 on this set, much to Jackie's chagrin.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat VIII]]</ref>

==The Chrisode==
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|Leaked concept sketches made by [[Trolls|Seth MacFarlane]] himself.]]
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9 December 2009]] Chris said that he'd heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane was planning on including him in a future ''Family Guy'' episode. This obviously fake news inflated [[Chris and his Ego|Chris's ego]] to [[Giant Penis Comic|gigantic proportions]], to the point where he felt the need to pitch an idea for the plot. Below is the plot he posted on the CWCipedia.

{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have described the story in a nutshell in my [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|recent video]]. But to reiterate (the final story will be typed up then copied/pasted onto this page), The show opens on Megan going onto the [[Cwcipedia]] on her computer in her room, reading the latest page uploaded and enjoying it. Later, she sends a message for the [[Mailbag]], asking if I could come to Quahog for their upcoming Comic Book Convention to show off my work. I respond, "[[Rape|I just may, Meg]]. ;)" Then I later drive up to Quahog in [[Son-Chu|my car]] (debatable on the destination being the Comic Con or the Griffin House), either way, the Griffins greet and welcome me. Then I break out [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|my two]] [[S-Chu Ball]]s, toss them and release [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; more greetings. Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode ([[pedofork|I hope she has turned Eighteen]] by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story). For the [[Wikipedia:Subplot|"B" Story]], Brian gets a bit [[autism|antsy]] around the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|Lovehogs]]' cuddlings, and he just could not help but ask them about how they maintain their relationship. And Sonichu and Rosechu tell Brian and help him find himself a new good girlfriend. **Suggestion to Seth, Let's Add a Smart, [[Patti-Chan|Sweet Girl Dog]] for Brian (Yes, SHE TALKS), as for breed, [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|I think any sexy breed]] (not a poodle; nothing against poodles, but I feel that a poodle might not work well for Brian).}}

At no point does Chris suggest anything that could possibly lead into a joke. Even if you don't like the show, you've got to admit that it's funnier than what he suggests.

==Chris's criticisms==
Although Chris loves ''Family Guy'', he has several ideas that he's certain would make the show much, much better. Most of his suggestions revolve around his infantile fears of [[homos|homosexuality]] and his sad ability to fall desperately in love with [[Julie|fictional women]]. Also: subtle hints of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]].

{{quotebox|Family Guy
-Megan does not deserve the abuse she gets. She is a Beautiful Girl, she is Very Smart, and she is the Oldest of the three children. So, Why.T.F. does Seth let most everyone treat her terribly? What is it about her that everyone is seeing to instinctively wail on her by default? WHAT and WHY?!

-Stewie should have let that tower fall on him; at least in the future scenario there, he Ended Up Straight.

-Chris finally got the best girlfriend he could ask for at the end of Season 6, Anna, so what happened to her between then and when Connie dated him in Season 7?

-While I can see Brain looking for the womanly qualities that he finds in the women he's dated, why does he not date female talking dogs who are That Pretty, Smart and all that?

-In "Road to Multiverse", in the "Robot Chicken" Universe, Stewie asks Seth Greene through Chris, "How does it feel to be on a Major Network for 30 Seconds?" Upon watching the video file on my PS3, the time in that universe was Only 20 Seconds Total, and there were NO additional portions of that scene in the version later shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Seth McFarline owes Seth Greene 10 Seconds and then some.

American Dad
-There should be More Stories starring Haley.

The Cleveland Show
-I do not care for all the dick jokes. }}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

* [[Sammy]] - Chris's bastard love child creation of him combined with Peter Griffin.
* ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''
* ''[[South Park]]''

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Family Guy|''Family Guy'']] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Respectable Frames

2011-05-02T20:17:51Z

Blusko: Sauce provided

<center>{{#ev:youtube|1Sed9mjXEko}}</center>

{{Quote|My frames are good; [[Chris and Fashion|they look good to me]], and they are the best fit for my lenses anyway.|Chris, [[Mailbag 14#The pedoglasses stay|on his choice in eyewear]].}}

[[Image:069-SchuGlasses.jpg|thumb|left|Sonichu on his pedo-glasses - "I think I've picked the wrong frames." Yes, yes you have.]]
[[Image:RapistGlasses.jpg|thumb|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVcyNANK5cY It's the Rapist Glasses!]]]

The '''[[Pedo]]-Glasses''', also known as the '''[[Rapist]] Glasses''', are the colloquial names for [[Chris]]'s spectacles, the appearance of which have been described variously as recalling some form of [[sex]]ual deviant, usually along the lines of a [[pedofork]]. He began wearing them on 2 February 1998.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref> In late [[October 2010]], Chris broke his glasses and repaired them with Crayola Model Magic.<ref>[[WeighIn]]</ref>

==Glasses==
They are double-bridged (to reduce tard breakage) and somewhat oversized, their roundness emphasizing Chris's pudgy face and generally rotund form. The earpieces are connected by a string attachment that nobody else under the age of sixty would use. Regardless, Chris has defended his choice of eyewear with the truism that [[Madman Rising|"it helps me see better"]], although they remained conspicuously absent from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] for some time.

Often these type of frames and lenses are among the few pairs available by default to a patient at little to no cost if they want to utilize their [[monthly tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] on vision benefits. Of course, many tend to spend some extra cash on a much better pair of frames, but Chris has better things [[Chris and money|to buy]].
{{clear}}

==Dramatic glasses removal==

Chris has been known to emphatically remove his glasses from his face for dramatic effect in his videos, often putting them on just so he can tear them off again, like the manchild version of David Caruso. (For a useful example in context, see his video from [[100 2188|27 May 2010]], where he removes his glasses, puts them back on, and removes them again within the space of less than thirty seconds.)

In various videos Chris also appears to take his glasses off and throw them to the floor. This was particularly common during his feud with [[Liquid Chris]], when the dispute over his identity had him especially wound up — see [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|here]] and [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|here]] for examples. In a [[WeighIn|couple of]] [[FullHouse|videos]] posted in October 2010, it appears Chris has wrapped tape over the bridge of his glasses, showing that all those dramatic removals have finally taken their toll on Chris's frames. The tape was later replaced by a more permanent solution in form of a nose-piece, crafted in blue tape.

How exactly his frames broke in the first place is unknown. [[The_MovingForward_videos|The MovingForward Videos]] show that Chris sometimes stores his glasses in his back pocket, though, so it's not entirely unlikely that he simply forgot they were there and [[Obesity|sat on them]].

<center>{{#ev:youtube|p9nkN1AHKD0}}</center>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:043-CWCsFavHitsIn.jpg|Early appearance
File:485-CWCsF.JPG|The Pedo-Glasses in oil pastels
File:Cwcregularglasses.JPG|Modern day appearance of the glasses
File:Cwctapedglasses.JPG|Taped glasses after suffering some [[Chris and anger|abuse]]
File:Cwcmagicglasses.JPG|Chris fashioned a new bridge from fuckin' Crayola Model Magic
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Dating education

2011-02-21T22:06:12Z

Blusko: /* Intended goals */

[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The original prologue from Sonichu #8, where dating education was first mentioned]]
{{quote|Those who can, do; those who can't, teach|[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]]}}
{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|Chris, [[Mumble 4]]}}

'''[[Dating]] education''' is [[Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be available to instruct people on how to date. The concept is intended to be analogous to [[Wikipedia:sex education|sex education]]; Chris's premise is that it is pointless to teach young people how to interact sexually if they don't even know how to interact socially (because, you know, everybody needs lessons on that). As with "sex ed," Chris abbreviates dating education to "'''date ed'''," and is overly fascinated with the (alleged) joke that the idea of "date ed" sounds "dated."

Judging from a [[Mailbag]] reply he posted, Chris considers the Dating Education Class to be one of his most noteworthy "[[inventions]]," alongside [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and some [[Lego]] contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards. In typical Chris fashion, he [[Chris and Hypocrisy|believes]] that he should give people advice about something he knows absolutely ''nothing'' about.

==Origins==
Consistent with his [[autism]] and his particular refusal to accept [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural gut instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. While modern psychology offers such people social skills groups which address the root issues by introducing basic social skills, Chris instead prefers his own notion of dating education and would rather sit around waiting for the public school system to implement it. In fact, his school apparently did have a "Coping Skills" class, mostly likely part of a [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. But he says that he'd either read ''[[R.L. Stine|Goosebumps]]'' or [[Biological clock|sleep]] through class. So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women.

==Intended goals==
In his own words, Chris describes why he feels the need for sex ed:

{{quote|
As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for [[Third date|AFTER 3 or so DATES]], but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.
|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]
}}

He genuinely believes the reason why he doesn't have a sweetheart is not due to the fact he's [[Chris and health|lazy]], [[fat]], ugly, [[niggos|racist]], [[homos|homophobic]], a [[List of Chris's lies|liar]], and an overall [[Fail|failure]] but that he merely doesn't know ''how'' to date and has no experience. In his mind, most people are single because they don't know how to go about on a date, not due to some personal defect like an inability to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|control one's bowels]].

Here it may be important to differentiate [[Chris and Reality|real life]] Sexual Education from Chris's warped notion. Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''Goosebumps'', he may have noticed these courses provide not a step-by-step description of how to pound [[china]], but provide a source of reference on responsible sexual behaviors and some of the relevant biology. Instead of a run-down of myriad STDs and preventative methods, Chris assumes the course provided the same educational experience he's gotten from countless Pornos. His proposed class depends on a conceit that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.

==Analysis==
In principle, Chris believes dating education should be taught in high school as a companion course with sex ed; however, since the primary audience for this class is himself he has depicted it as being available at a collegiate level as well. To persuade the world to introduce date ed Chris devoted [[Episode 19]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' to demonstrating his vision. However, the paradox of dating education is that it is supposed to teach Chris things he ''doesn't'' know, while his depiction of it is necessarily limited to teaching only what he ''does'' know, which is limited to the children's book ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]''. As a result, dating education ends up being a semester of being sequestered away from potential mates while chatting with them anonymously over the internet, until love arbitrarily happens. Presumably, under Chris's understanding of love, his characters will be trolled relentlessly in the meantime.

==Course Syllabus==
'''Required text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]''

'''Core concepts''':
*''"Remain calm and to keel all [[Chris and anger|flustered emotions]] off your minds when first approaching your [[China|person of emotional interest]]"''

*[[Sweetheart from the ground up|Be friends first]] and ''"let the romantic emotions grow between you two over [[Third date|a reasonable amount of time]]. A few weeks to even a few months will multiple meetings and dates with your friend are reccomended [sic]."''

*A gentlemen ''"[[Emily|should ask before kissing her]] (or you), as a gesture of respect and kindness"''

'''Methodology:'''
*Boys are given [[Barbara]] dolls and girls are given [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] dolls to better understand the "opposite gender."

*[[Chris and Reality|Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person]].

*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with GI Joes for the women and Barbies with the men.

*[[Darkies]] are rejected by [[Reginald Sneasel|mutant, anthropomorphic Pokémon]] because Chris hates them.

==Final Exam==
[[Image:SchuComic10P30.jpg|thumb|right|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.]]
The final exam consists of 10 questions, the last being an essay question. No calculators. Black or blue ink only. You have one hour to complete. Send all answers to Chris himself so they may be graded.

{{quotebox|
Name_________________ Date__________

 1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys
 A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13

 2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?
 A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above

 3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?
 A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation

 4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.
 A. True B. False

 5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.
 A. True B. False

 6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...
 A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above

 7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?
 A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else

 8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.
 A. True B. False

 9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...
 A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above

 10 Essay Question.
 From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>FOR ALL Sonichu & Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**

YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.
}}

In 3 November 2009, possibly not particularly enjoying grading the homework that people emailed him, Chris changed the final paragraph to read:

{{quotebox|YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM YOURSELF, AND YOU MAY GRADE IT YOURSELF WITH THE ANSWER KEY IN THE BACK OF THIS BOOK.

AND FOR THE ESSAY QUESTION, WRITE YOUR HONEST ANSWERS BEFORE COMPARING THEM TO THE BEST EXAMPLE OF AN ANSWER ALONGSIDE THE ANSWER KEY.}}

===Answer Key===
On 01 [[August 2009]], Chris uploaded an answer key to the test as it appears on the test, including a suggested essay question answer.

# C
# D
# C
# A
# B
# B
# A
# B
# D

{{quotebox|1=<nowiki>**</nowiki>This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the [[PSN]]; Congratuations! =D 

1. Aprroach the boy 
- "Hi, what's up!"

2. Get the name 
- "I'm Alex, what are you called?"

3. Find out more, get his interest 
- "So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?"

4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested 
- "I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor."

5. Give interest/compliments back 
- "I love your haircut ([[Chris and fashion|t-shirt]], [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt]]. etc)! What's that [[AXE|cologne]]?"

6. Get more [[Honest Content|intimate details]] 
- "So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?"

7. Food is a conversation foundation 
- "Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink? 
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke)."

8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets
shy or stumped.

9. A walk to [[Chris and health|help with digestion]]. Usually there's a couple of shops around
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store
is always a good choice.

10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start. 
- "It"s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime."

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}

<gallery>
Image:SchuComic9P65.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice.
Image:SchuComic9P66.jpg|Answers to the essay question.
</gallery>

==On the CWCipedia==

Unsuprisingly, Chris made a CWCipedia article about his idea. Interestingly, the article was copy-pasted from an essay he wrote for a contest in 2009.

''Originally written for a recent 2009 Community Support Contest sponsored by C-Ville's Battlefield Ford; too bad I did not win, but I'm not giving up on teaching our future generations the basics of Dating alongside Sexual Educaiton [sic].''

[[BILLY MAYS|BUT WAIT! THERE'S ''MORE''!]]

{{quote | Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced. | Chris, on Dating Education Death Camps, because [[Homos|men are only gay because they can't find a woman to fuck]]}}

As we can see, the whole concept is designed to benefit Chris and only Chris, the wants, needs, and rights of others be damned. Also, he does not seem to understand the concept of overpopulation or why the act of engaging in a relationship in which it is impossible to have sexual intercourse for the purpose of procreation is a good thing.

==External Links==
*[http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=310722 Abridged MyBuzz Quiz version of the exam]

{{CWCipedia|chris=Dating Education}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Homos

2011-02-14T19:15:35Z

Blusko: /* Why Chris appears to be gay */

[[Image:Homobad.jpg|center|350px]]

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)|[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
[[Image:What Chris thinks he looks like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo". He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stuff like the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in prisons with female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10 March 2009]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

In Chris's ''Carrie'' ripoff, "[[The High School Story]]", Chris's Mary Sue character, Terrah LeAnne Yowman, is called a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with guys all the time.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[The Creepy Stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a [[Christian Weston Chandler|Strong, Straight Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>

{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily.

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that "Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> Of course, it's not clear how gays can have "equal relationship rights" if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for "DA HOMOS". In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Why Chris appears to be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop.]]]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies.}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings|anime wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref>, possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin' Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref>

In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations." Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = It's OK to be GAY, Chris-chan!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32F2Dw01kJc}}
| Stardate = 5 August 2009
| Maker = CWCvillelulz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) Comes Clean...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
| Stardate = 5 January 2010
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2011-02-06T23:24:02Z

Blusko: /* Why Chris appears to be gay */

[[Image:Homobad.jpg|center|350px]]

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)|[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
[[Image:What Chris thinks he looks like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo". He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stuff like the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in prisons with female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10 March 2009]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

In Chris's ''Carrie'' ripoff, "[[The High School Story]]", Chris's Mary Sue character, Terrah LeAnne Yowman, is called a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with guys all the time.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[The Creepy Stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a [[Christian Weston Chandler|Strong, Straight Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>

{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily.

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that "Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> Of course, it's not clear how gays can have "equal relationship rights" if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for "DA HOMOS". In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Why Chris appears to be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop.]]]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies.}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings|anime wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref>, possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin' Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place with someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref>

In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

==Recent transgender tendencies==
Like shoving [[dildo]]s and [[Julie Reveals Herself|medallions]] up his ass, as well as wearing a [[muscle bra]], a recent set of videos released on 19 October 2010 took Chris's faggotry to a whole new level. One [[Pregnant Act|video]] features the apparently [[Obesity|pregnant]] Chris giving birth to [[Lil' Chris]]. In another video, Chris, possibly under the influence of [[Jackie]], wore the [[Plush Breasts of Fail]] under his sports bra in an astoundingly creepy [[Breast Cancer Awareness|PSA]] for breast cancer. Trolls have speculated that [[Monthly Tugboat|with your help]], a ''South Park''-inspired Chris will go from a manchild to a transchild; assuming Chris-chan Rosechu doesn't piss that [[Chris and Money|money]] away on [[PS3]] games and moar [[dildo]]s.

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations." Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = It's OK to be GAY, Chris-chan!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32F2Dw01kJc}}
| Stardate = 5 August 2009
| Maker = CWCvillelulz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) Comes Clean...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
| Stardate = 5 January 2010
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2011-02-06T23:17:07Z

Blusko: /* Why Chris appears to be gay */ whoops, freudian slip

[[Image:Homobad.jpg|center|350px]]

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)|[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
[[Image:What Chris thinks he looks like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo". He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stuff like the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in prisons with female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10 March 2009]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

In Chris's ''Carrie'' ripoff, "[[The High School Story]]", Chris's Mary Sue character, Terrah LeAnne Yowman, is called a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with guys all the time.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[The Creepy Stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a [[Christian Weston Chandler|Strong, Straight Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>

{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily.

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that "Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> Of course, it's not clear how gays can have "equal relationship rights" if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for "DA HOMOS". In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Why Chris appears to be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop.]]]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies.}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings|anime wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref>, possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris went into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place with someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref>

In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

==Recent transgender tendencies==
Like shoving [[dildo]]s and [[Julie Reveals Herself|medallions]] up his ass, as well as wearing a [[muscle bra]], a recent set of videos released on 19 October 2010 took Chris's faggotry to a whole new level. One [[Pregnant Act|video]] features the apparently [[Obesity|pregnant]] Chris giving birth to [[Lil' Chris]]. In another video, Chris, possibly under the influence of [[Jackie]], wore the [[Plush Breasts of Fail]] under his sports bra in an astoundingly creepy [[Breast Cancer Awareness|PSA]] for breast cancer. Trolls have speculated that [[Monthly Tugboat|with your help]], a ''South Park''-inspired Chris will go from a manchild to a transchild; assuming Chris-chan Rosechu doesn't piss that [[Chris and Money|money]] away on [[PS3]] games and moar [[dildo]]s.

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations." Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = It's OK to be GAY, Chris-chan!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32F2Dw01kJc}}
| Stardate = 5 August 2009
| Maker = CWCvillelulz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) Comes Clean...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
| Stardate = 5 January 2010
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2011-02-06T23:16:20Z

Blusko: /* Why Chris appears to be gay */

[[Image:Homobad.jpg|center|350px]]

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)|[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
[[Image:What Chris thinks he looks like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo". He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stuff like the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in prisons with female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10 March 2009]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

In Chris's ''Carrie'' ripoff, "[[The High School Story]]", Chris's Mary Sue character, Terrah LeAnne Yowman, is called a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with guys all the time.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[The Creepy Stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a [[Christian Weston Chandler|Strong, Straight Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>

{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily.

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that "Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> Of course, it's not clear how gays can have "equal relationship rights" if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for "DA HOMOS". In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Why Chris appears to be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop.]]]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies.}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings|anime wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref>, possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris went into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place with someone who claims to be disgusted my the mere thought of a penis.

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref>

In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

==Recent transgender tendencies==
Like shoving [[dildo]]s and [[Julie Reveals Herself|medallions]] up his ass, as well as wearing a [[muscle bra]], a recent set of videos released on 19 October 2010 took Chris's faggotry to a whole new level. One [[Pregnant Act|video]] features the apparently [[Obesity|pregnant]] Chris giving birth to [[Lil' Chris]]. In another video, Chris, possibly under the influence of [[Jackie]], wore the [[Plush Breasts of Fail]] under his sports bra in an astoundingly creepy [[Breast Cancer Awareness|PSA]] for breast cancer. Trolls have speculated that [[Monthly Tugboat|with your help]], a ''South Park''-inspired Chris will go from a manchild to a transchild; assuming Chris-chan Rosechu doesn't piss that [[Chris and Money|money]] away on [[PS3]] games and moar [[dildo]]s.

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations." Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = It's OK to be GAY, Chris-chan!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32F2Dw01kJc}}
| Stardate = 5 August 2009
| Maker = CWCvillelulz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) Comes Clean...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
| Stardate = 5 January 2010
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Chris and death

2011-01-22T12:28:21Z

Blusko: /* Chris himself */ Removing baseless guesswork

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
'''Death''' stalks [[Chris]] at every turn, and as a result he has a hard time understanding and/or coping with death, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and his incredibly underdeveloped mind. Kids often don't understand death until they're quite old, around 10-12 years; before that, they usually just think it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a 3-year-old inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to sort of understand death; he even has a habit of appealing to dead people to "come back."<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands Or Buts#A history (6:02 to 9:34)]]: "Patti, I miss you. Come home."</ref><ref>[[:Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg]]: "Dedicated to Mr. Billy Mays II; Please Come Back Soon."</ref>

It could be that the only shows that Chris watched that dealt with death in any way had plot devices to facilitate the return of the departed. Chris, who is unable to connect cause with effect and considers behaviors from fiction to be interchangeable with reality, may simply assume that the dead can come back whenever they want.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===The victims of the ''Titanic'' incident (d. 1912)===
In his [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|message to Lars]] in [[September 2010]], Chris belittled the lives of the men, women and children who died in the sinking of the RMS ''Titanic'' by constructing a boat out of Lego with several Lego men on it, one representing [[Lars]], pretending the ship sinks, then destroying the boat.

===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]]. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. This has shocked many, including somebody who lost a loved one in the attacks<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCDjrjr3b7M]</ref> and this could possibly be the lowest that Chris has ever gone.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's pet dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:AZT-13/Chris-chan_Emails_Part_IV apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face] on the signature confirming the euthanasia process. As seen in the image used in this article, [[Patti-Chan|Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as an anthro]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in, in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]], in which she will only exist when he can be bothered to draw her. Effectively, he's stolen and erased her soul.

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended, yet he continues to use this example.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the one year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother. By comparison, the "death" of any [[Troll|Sweetheart]] will result in a day of mourning, if she is lucky.

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this. About eight months later, Chris [[Chris's Big Night Out|became a huge hypocrite]]...

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former [[Sweetheart|heartsweet]] of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a <s>car crash</s> carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. SPOILERS: A [[troll]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor. Sound like [[Chris|someone]]?

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|Chris, of course, reacted to this in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide.]]

===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another [[sweetheart]] to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref> This flagrant disrespect shouldn't surprise anyone because Chris is a self-centered asshole. This saga ''further'' proved that Chris has no sense of empathy or respect for the dead.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[Blazebob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her. Apparently, Chris didn't feel like he needed to honor the life of his beloved [[sweetheart]] and instead depicted her horrible, fiery death. He also has to mention that she "burned," which shows how he doesn't realize how painful and awful it would be to die in a fire. It's also not a term that anyone would use to describe the death of a loved one, providing more evidence of how little he actually cared about her. Because it took nine months to "honor" her death, he most likely decided he needed more god-awful characters for his shitty comic, was too lazy to create a new recolor and chose to use Chloe and Blazebob, thus reminding him of PandaHalo, who he had likely forgotten, and made him decide to feature a memorial to her.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork. And then there's the issue of ''Sonichu'' #10 largely consisting of Chris murdering everybody he dislikes...

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May [[Troll|attempted suicide]] over [[Mumble 8|Mumble]]. Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told [[Julie]] (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out to her on a YouTube video]], with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. His reason for her to hold on? Because he'd be so sad without her. While mentioning the feelings of friends and families despair is typical in suicide prevention, Chris did it in such a selfish way, only thinking of how ''he'd'' feel, not how ''her'' family and friends would feel, that it was just full of [[fail]] and [[Chris and His Ego|narcissism]].

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also Shrove Tuesday, a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes.<ref>[[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]]</ref> Needless to say, [[White knight#Chris cares only for himself|Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt]]. Patti was also obtained from her (see the e-mail link above).

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow, although any normal human would bring those up first and the dog would be lucky to get a mention at all.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-<s>2009</s>)===
In early [[2009]], Christian once seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, but cast a slight bit of doubt over the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case. He's back.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that he was ever the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris. He goes even further by stating that he was also his identical body double and "without the beard we'd look the same". At least he's admitting that he's overweight.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Former [[troll|sweetheart]] Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Unless the original was somehow Ivy's favorite song, this is just short of "Another One Bites the Dust" as one of the worst possible songs one can dedicate to a recently deceased loved one. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's [[fail]].

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]] of the comic. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. Why he felt the need to make her death in the series gruesomely similar to her real-life suicide is a question for the ages. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for [[Patti Chan]] and [[BILLY MAYS]].

===Mary Jo (d. 2009)===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a troubled [[troll|fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.| Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another [[sweetheart|woman]] right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|asking]] [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|for]] [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"|advice]], and then [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|begging]] for [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|help]] after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

The Mike Jackson "mini-saga" might be the most conclusive proof yet that Chris doesn't understand the consequences of his terrible advice, or the gravity of the tragedy he caused.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his [[Patti Chandler|fucking dog]]. Finally, after being faced with severe legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real. Not figuratively, not essentially: ''literally'' real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===Yeardley Love (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for smoking. Later in the video, [[Chris and His Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's [[Chris and anger|not]] [[Chris and race|a]] [[Chris and sex|bad]] [[Chris and rape|man]]. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew or really cared about in order to make himself look good.

===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] (1941-soon) and [[Bob Chandler]] (1927-sooner)===
[[File:Ctrl-alt-chrischan.jpg|thumb|He remembered his [[PSP]].]]
Coming soon... both are well into their "Silver Years" and suffering from many health issues, compounded by their age. It doesn't help that they're [[Tour of Chris's House|living in a landfill]].

On 1 [[March 2010]], Bob was sent to the hospital with congestive heart failure, owing to his age, [[Burger King|diet]] and lifestyle. In the [[Twitter|Tweet]] announcing Bob's heart failure, Chris stated that he believed his father would survive, and showed more concern for the [[stress]] he was under than his own father's health. On top of that, during the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], Bob stated that he already died (probably for a minute or two and then was brought back, or his heart had to be stopped during surgery). Bob has had four prior heart attacks and "Eat at Burger King" is still a part of his daily routine. His inevitable death (and probably one more heart attack) is likely to occur sometime within the next few <s>years</s> months.

===Chris himself===
Chris may be genetically disposed to live a long — albeit, [[100 2178|miserable]] — life: [[Bob]] has lived into his eighties despite being a heavy drinker, and other male relatives have lived past 90 (the average American man dies at 75 or 76).

Naturally, the death of Chris himself is the only death that immediately concerns Chris. And unsurprisingly, he is only worried about his death because it would put a stop to the Love Quest once and for all. Chris's fear of death is probably an extension of his fear of [[F Abstinance|reaching old age before getting laid]], as opposed to the fear of death exhibited by normal people. Chris also apparently has a [[Dreams|recurring nightmare]] where he finds himself "going into the light". It is unknown when he began to have this nightmare, but it is likely one of the "bad dreams" Chris claimed that Ivy helped stop. It has probably been going on for years and will most likely continue until the day it comes true.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Dead]]

White knight

2011-01-22T12:06:42Z

Blusko:

[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he [[Dating education|magically dreams up his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to dealt with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a male chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]

Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids in card games]] and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeemable qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he [[The July 10th Messages|addressed a person named "SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''was'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center terror attacks]]. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but he used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son, Mike Junior, or not]]. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], allowed him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and can not make the video. Mike Jr. is married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grieves and anger with three words [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] is a troll, and Chris is falling for it.

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing, so what's the problem?]]

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?

===Chris made himself an outcast===
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_wJvL2BAbQ real life trolls] at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to circumstances that cannot be foreseen, he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, but he's slow to act as well; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

[[Svenka]] is a counter-troll.

On 6 [[May 2009]], [[YouTube]] user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.

====TV Tropes====
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, TV Tropes doesn't have as much experience with Chris as we do and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

For reasons unknown, the message was removed.

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal man alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Mary Poppins

2010-10-03T10:22:45Z

Blusko: /* References by Chris */

[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly misinterpreted.]]
[[Image:Suffragette.jpg|thumb|Sir Isaacs Justifies Violence? Who could have such horrible objections to a woman's right to [[Hanky-Panky]]?]]

'''''Mary Poppins''''' is a Disney film adaptation of the book series of the same name. It is highly regarded as a classic of children's and musical cinema. It is less highly regarded as the [[Blanca E-mails|favorite]] film of perverse, demented internet-cyst [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Chris has made references to the film in his writing in his usual [[random access humor|context-eschewing style]]. Most offensively to fans of the film, he incorporated the "Votes for Women" segment from the song ''Step In Time'' into his twisted [[Women's Rights]] propaganda, as well as bastardized the ''Jolly Holiday'' song, replacing 'Mary' with 'Ivy' or the name of whatever gal-pal he is currently being trolled by.

His extreme zeal for "women's rights" probably comes from a Mrs. Banks, the mother of Jane & Michael. As the story is set in early 20th-century England (1901-1910, King Edward VII is mentioned as being currently on the throne), women do not yet have the right to vote. Mrs. Banks is the first character we see in the film proper, and she also sings the first song, "Sister Suffragette," during which she mentions Emmeline Pankhurst being arrested (again), placing the film in 1909, the second time she was arrested.

Mrs. Banks and her friends were depicted as struggling for the greater cause of being treated as an equal, with the same rights and treatment. But, in a strange and highly irrational way, Chris takes it to mean they simply want to remove their clothes and fuck.

How wrong he was.

{{Quote|But Thank God and Jesus, my Guardian Angel from the other side of the world found me. She, a Good, Loyal, Honest Sonichu & Rosechu fan, got my YouTube and Facebook accounts for me, and, she was a real big help and the "Spoon full of sugar" I needed to "help the medicine go down"|Chris, pissing off God and Walt Disney at the same time}}

==References by Chris==
*Early in his [[Blanca_Emails,_August_2008#Blanca_introduces_Jiggliami|e-mail conversations with Blanca]], Chris mentioned that Mary Poppins is his favorite movie.

*In the 25 September 2008 update to the [[The_OFFICIAL_Sonichu_%26_Rosechu_Blog#25_September_2008|OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]], Chris referred to [[PandaHalo]] as a "spoonful of sugar" (and felt the need to point out exactly where the reference came from).

*In the [[For My Sweetest Ivy]] video, Chris sang a riff on Dick Van Dyke's musical number "Jolly Holiday."

*During [[Mumble 2]], [[Clyde Cash]] and other trolls drew Chris out on his love of the movie, and then made fun of him at length.

*While talking to [[Julie]] in [[Mumble 3]], he suggested that if she didn't know what to say, she could say "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

*In [[Mailbag 54]], Chris used "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" as an example of his substantial vocabulary.

*In Chris's 2010-vintage [[The Hook Cafe|Hook Cafe]] personal ad, when asked for a line from his favorite movie, he answered with "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

*Likewise, in his [[Dating_profiles#Book_of_Matches|Book of Matches profile]], he cites Mary Poppins as his favorite movie, and his [[Match.com]] profile mentions that it's one of his favorite things.

*In his MyBUZZ! [[Quizzes#Christian_Weston_Chandler_Quiz|quiz about himself]], the second question is "Which is his favorite movie of all time?" and the answer is "Mary Poppins."

*Chris has been known to use "What is your favorite movie?" as a security question protecting the passwords to some of his websites and user accounts. The answer, invariably, is "Mary Poppins," which for a time made life easy for trolls looking to hack Chris's accounts.

*Chris performs a horribly mangled version of ''Step In Time'' in his video [[I like Mary Poppins]].

==Mary Poppins in the Comic==

*In [[Episode 17]], Rosechu breaks into the "Votes For Women" segment of the song ''Step In Time''.

*In [[Episode 20]], Sonichu references Mary Poppins directly, but as he forgets to use a verb, it sounds less like a proposal for a nice evening with the family and more like [[pedofork]]/[[guro]] horror. (''"Let's [...] head home for dinner and "[[rape|Mary Poppins]]" with [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children| our children]]!"'').

*In the special episode from [[Sonichu 11]], "A Sonichu Christmas," Sonichu uses Mary Poppins's "Chim Chim Cheroo" magic trick to fly up the chimney.

[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]

Asperger syndrome

2010-09-30T09:35:59Z

Blusko:

{{quote|Aspergers is Nothing At All Like [[Autism]]. I have stated this Fact over and over again in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise. I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are Anything to Full Similar.|The great Christian Weston Chandler, who [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|obviously knows more about the relation between Asperger syndome and autism]] than actual scientists and psychiatrists who study it.}}

[[Image:CWCASPIE.JPG|thumb|People with Asperger's are frequently called "Aspies"]]

[[Chris]] has an extremely warped and inconsistent view of '''Asperger syndrome'''. He varies between outright denying that it is part of the [[autism]] spectrum, to idiotically confusing it with [[Bob Chandler|Alzheimer's Disease]]. You know, since both sound German. Like [[duck|bratwurst]]. He also believes people with Asperger's are [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"stealing the limelight from us autistics."]] Unlike his issues with [[Chris and race|racial minorities]] and [[homos|homosexuals]], Chris has never attempted to ameliorate or otherwise compromise his statements about Asperger's for the sake of good PR, suggesting that it is his most strongly held prejudice.

==Background==
Asperger syndrome is a social disorder that is considered by some to fall within the autism spectrum. Its symptoms are similar to those seen in high-functioning autism cases like Chris (although, unlike him, people with Asperger syndrome are generally marked by above-average intelligence).

Because many laypersons regard Asperger's and HFA to be essentially interchangeable and identical, and because the slang term "aspie" (short for "Asperger's", obviously) is often used to describe anyone with a disorder along the autism spectrum, newcomers to the Chris-chan phenomenon sometimes assume that he has and/or claims to have Asperger's. A few people even jump to the conclusion that, like many people who claim to have Asperger's, Chris is self-diagnosed.

However, Chris is easily offended by the suggestion that Asperger syndrome is even remotely similar to autism.

==Chris on Asperger's==
For some time, Chris referred to Asperger's as a disorder that affects the memory: [[IRC (02 January 2009)|on IRC]], in his online [[Quizzes#Autism Quiz|Autism Quiz]], in the [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook]], and in his [[Mailbag]] on [[CWCipedia]], among other places. It appeared as if Chris was confusing Asperger's with Alzheimer's disease, an easy enough mistake for someone as stupid as he is to make.

Not long after Chris began answering the Mailbag, Asperger's became a recurring topic in the column. Numerous e-mails doggedly attempted to correct his misconceptions, while in his replies Chris became much more defensive and much less consistent in his arguments about why Asperger's is so different from autism. Eventually, he decided to settle the issue with a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|spectacularly butthurt essay]], revealing the real reason Asperger's "grinds his gears."

{{Quote|And those with Aspergers DARE try to take the Shine and Limelight AWAY from us Autistic people, not only with their "Social Flaws" and such possibly similar traits to Autism. But to SHUN us Autistics by being BETTER Communicatively and Mentally than us.|Chris, claiming that people with Asperger's are out to steal his autistic thunder.}}

In short, Chris doesn't understand what differences between his condition and Asperger's syndrome may or may not exist, and more to the point, he doesn't care. He simply feels that people with Asperger's are receiving some measure of the attention and sympathy that [[Chris and his ego|he deserves]] instead. Naturally, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] ensues. In [[Mailbag 19]] he even admits that the first thing he thinks of when he hears the term Aspergers is "Competing Retards."

As per his adamance that HFA and Aspergers are completely unrelated, Chris also point blank refuses to acknowledge scientific research that contradicts his statements of so-called fact; indeed, he eventually began totally ignoring any [[Mailbag]] entries that included references to such papers. In a private [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#January_15.2C_2010|e-mail to Vivian Gee]] from January 2010, he delivered an interesting spin on his feelings regarding the validity of that research:

{{quote|I STILL disagree with the "Scientists", regardless of how long they may have studied those psychological topics. EVEN if I am living a lie, I'd rather live this lie than believe that truth ever. I AM RESISTANT TO THE CHANGE!|Chris, to Vivian, 15 January 2010}}

Chris's belief that he is somehow representing his fellow autistics in some sort of tribal conflict against people with Asperger's is entertaining on a couple of levels. For one thing, any such rivalry is nothing but a figment of his overactive imagination, not shared by most people on the autistic spectrum. For another, autistics who've been exposed to Chris universally regard him as a revolting embarrassment to other people with the same condition.

He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like "ass burgers":

{{Quote|I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.| Chris, in an [[Jackie e-mails|e-mail to Jackie.]]}}

==Chris versus Autism Awareness Month==
{{main|Autism Awareness E-mails}}

In [[April 2010]], Chris uploaded his own version of a web ad for Autism Awareness Month to the CWCipedia. It featured another short rant in which he once again stated his belief that Asperger's has nothing to do with autism, and thus shouldn't receive any extra awareness.

This led a well-meaning volunteer worker to write him and try to correct his misconceptions. She didn't succeed, but their conversation does reveal Chris making some bizarrely contradictory statements, even by his standards. Among other things, he says that the notion of a total disconnect between Asperger's and autism is entirely his own invention, and nobody else led him to that conclusion...but that doesn't stop it from being an indisputable fact.

{{quote|For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea. I will NEVER conform to such a blasphemous link of any kind between the two.|Chris, defining [[Chris and reality|reality]] according to his whim as usual.}}

==Real differences between Asperger's and autism==
According to Chris, having Asperger's is [[Chris and Anger|NOTHING LIKE AUTISM GET IT THROUGH YOUR DANG DIRTY SKULLS]]! Of course we don't have to take Chris's word for it and we would be clinically insane if we did. People that are far more qualified than him have done some research on the matter and the results may be considered not entirely surprising.

'''Spoiler''': Chris couldn't be more wrong if he tried. Srsly.<ref>[http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:0eVuokPKvMoJ:www.sacramentoasis.com/docs/8-22-03/as_%26_hfa.pdf+difference+asperger+autism&hl=nl&gl=nl&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEEShq7bXfr0kKmJZJO041e8U6YGlrx0bwKzBzXWh0tJHAWrIe024G57KwzsmIjUW5rrsNhXUr7ld4nVUWIMJRXFXzoIUksEVD8GBb7t_FhNriLnFJp5vcrfkd_tLlmUqFsY3gDCxL&sig=AHIEtbRUV1TCXswi1U77qGwN-mVIUHVG3w Study by renowned autism researcher Tony Attwood]</ref>

{{quotebox|There has been research comparing the cognitive profile of adolescents with autism and Asperger's syndrome. The studies have examined the cognitive profile of what may becalled 'High Functioning Autism', that is children with a diagnosis of autism with an Intelligence Quotient in the normal range, i.e. above 70. The term High Functioning Autism has been used in the past to describe children who had the classic signs of autism in early childhood but as they developed, formal testing of their cognitive skills indicated a greater degree of intellectual ability with greater social and adaptive behaviour skills than are usual with children with autism. Their clinical outcome was better than expected. The cognitive abilities of this group of children were then compared to the cognitive profile of children with Asperger's syndrome, who did not have a history of early cognitive or language delay. The results of the research has not established a distinct and consistent profile for each group. It was found that only a minority of each diagnostic group showed a characteristic profile.

Clinical experience and research has confirmed that in terms of the child's behavioural profile, children and adults with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome have a very similar presentation. Both groups benefit from the same behavioural treatment programs. The recommendations from clinicians and academics for treatment for both High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome are the same. Clinicians have noted that as the clinical picture of Pervasive Developmental Disorders or Autistic Spectrum Disorders changes over time, a child may receive a diagnosis of severe autism or High Functioning Autism at one point in their developmental history and Asperger's syndrome at a later stage.

In short, the research and clinical experience would suggest that there is no clear evidence that they are different disorders. Their similarities are greater than their differences.}}

Perhaps the leading irony of Chris's crusade against Asperger's is that he probably has Asperger's himself. The only real difference between a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" and "Asperger's" is the time at which the diagnosis was made. Asperger syndrome was first added to the [[Wikipedia:American Psychiatric Association|American Psychiatric Association]]'s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in [[1994]], and it wasn't until the 2000s that it gained substantial recognition among professionals. Chris happens to have made "high-functioning autism" a cornerstone of his identity because that's the diagnosis he received as a child in the late 1980s. If he'd been born two decades later, though, it is quite likely he'd have wound up diagnosed with the Asperger's label he so fiercely detests. In which case, that article he wrote would probably be ranting about the autistics trying to steal his aspie thunder.

Additionally, as of early 2010, the American Psychological Association has suggested no longer referring to Asperger's syndrome under [[wikipedia:DSM-5|the DSM-5]], due for publication in 2013. Instead, what are now referred to as Asperger's syndrome, autism, and [[Wikipedia:PDD-NOS|PDD-NOS]]—already widely understood to be related conditions—will be referred to as just autism spectrum disorders, further cementing the connection between the two. <ref>[http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1 Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose]</ref>

==See also==
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* ''[[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]]''

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Asperger syndrome|Asperger syndrome]] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]

Asperger syndrome

2010-09-30T09:34:22Z

Blusko:

{{quote|Aspergers is Nothing At All Like [[Autism]]. I have stated this Fact over and over again in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise. I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are Anything to Full Similar.|The great Christian Weston Chandler, who [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|obviously knows more about the relation between Asperger syndome and autism]] than actual scientists and psychiatrists who study it.}}

[[Image:CWCASPIE.JPG|thumb|People with Asperger's are frequently called "Aspies"]]

[[Chris]] has an extremely warped and inconsistent view of '''Asperger syndrome'''. He varies between outright denying that it is part of the [[autism]] spectrum, to idiotically confusing it with [[Bob Chandler|Alzheimer's Disease]]. You know, since both sound German. Like [[duck|bratwurst]]. He also believes people with Asperger's are [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"stealing the limelight from us autistics."]] Unlike his issues with [[Chris and race|racial minorities]] and [[homos|homosexuals]], Chris has never attempted to ameliorate or comprimise his statements about Asperger's for the sake of good PR, suggesting that it is his most strongly held prejudice.

==Background==
Asperger syndrome is a social disorder that is considered by some to fall within the autism spectrum. Its symptoms are similar to those seen in high-functioning autism cases like Chris (although, unlike him, people with Asperger syndrome are generally marked by above-average intelligence).

Because many laypersons regard Asperger's and HFA to be essentially interchangeable and identical, and because the slang term "aspie" (short for "Asperger's", obviously) is often used to describe anyone with a disorder along the autism spectrum, newcomers to the Chris-chan phenomenon sometimes assume that he has and/or claims to have Asperger's. A few people even jump to the conclusion that, like many people who claim to have Asperger's, Chris is self-diagnosed.

However, Chris is easily offended by the suggestion that Asperger syndrome is even remotely similar to autism.

==Chris on Asperger's==
For some time, Chris referred to Asperger's as a disorder that affects the memory: [[IRC (02 January 2009)|on IRC]], in his online [[Quizzes#Autism Quiz|Autism Quiz]], in the [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook]], and in his [[Mailbag]] on [[CWCipedia]], among other places. It appeared as if Chris was confusing Asperger's with Alzheimer's disease, an easy enough mistake for someone as stupid as he is to make.

Not long after Chris began answering the Mailbag, Asperger's became a recurring topic in the column. Numerous e-mails doggedly attempted to correct his misconceptions, while in his replies Chris became much more defensive and much less consistent in his arguments about why Asperger's is so different from autism. Eventually, he decided to settle the issue with a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|spectacularly butthurt essay]], revealing the real reason Asperger's "grinds his gears."

{{Quote|And those with Aspergers DARE try to take the Shine and Limelight AWAY from us Autistic people, not only with their "Social Flaws" and such possibly similar traits to Autism. But to SHUN us Autistics by being BETTER Communicatively and Mentally than us.|Chris, claiming that people with Asperger's are out to steal his autistic thunder.}}

In short, Chris doesn't understand what differences between his condition and Asperger's syndrome may or may not exist, and more to the point, he doesn't care. He simply feels that people with Asperger's are receiving some measure of the attention and sympathy that [[Chris and his ego|he deserves]] instead. Naturally, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] ensues. In [[Mailbag 19]] he even admits that the first thing he thinks of when he hears the term Aspergers is "Competing Retards."

As per his adamance that HFA and Aspergers are completely unrelated, Chris also point blank refuses to acknowledge scientific research that contradicts his statements of so-called fact; indeed, he eventually began totally ignoring any [[Mailbag]] entries that included references to such papers. In a private [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#January_15.2C_2010|e-mail to Vivian Gee]] from January 2010, he delivered an interesting spin on his feelings regarding the validity of that research:

{{quote|I STILL disagree with the "Scientists", regardless of how long they may have studied those psychological topics. EVEN if I am living a lie, I'd rather live this lie than believe that truth ever. I AM RESISTANT TO THE CHANGE!|Chris, to Vivian, 15 January 2010}}

Chris's belief that he is somehow representing his fellow autistics in some sort of tribal conflict against people with Asperger's is entertaining on a couple of levels. For one thing, any such rivalry is nothing but a figment of his overactive imagination, not shared by most people on the autistic spectrum. For another, autistics who've been exposed to Chris universally regard him as a revolting embarrassment to other people with the same condition.

He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like "ass burgers":

{{Quote|I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.| Chris, in an [[Jackie e-mails|e-mail to Jackie.]]}}

==Chris versus Autism Awareness Month==
{{main|Autism Awareness E-mails}}

In [[April 2010]], Chris uploaded his own version of a web ad for Autism Awareness Month to the CWCipedia. It featured another short rant in which he once again stated his belief that Asperger's has nothing to do with autism, and thus shouldn't receive any extra awareness.

This led a well-meaning volunteer worker to write him and try to correct his misconceptions. She didn't succeed, but their conversation does reveal Chris making some bizarrely contradictory statements, even by his standards. Among other things, he says that the notion of a total disconnect between Asperger's and autism is entirely his own invention, and nobody else led him to that conclusion...but that doesn't stop it from being an indisputable fact.

{{quote|For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea. I will NEVER conform to such a blasphemous link of any kind between the two.|Chris, defining [[Chris and reality|reality]] according to his whim as usual.}}

==Real differences between Asperger's and autism==
According to Chris, having Asperger's is [[Chris and Anger|NOTHING LIKE AUTISM GET IT THROUGH YOUR DANG DIRTY SKULLS]]! Of course we don't have to take Chris's word for it and we would be clinically insane if we did. People that are far more qualified than him have done some research on the matter and the results may be considered not entirely surprising.

'''Spoiler''': Chris couldn't be more wrong if he tried. Srsly.<ref>[http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:0eVuokPKvMoJ:www.sacramentoasis.com/docs/8-22-03/as_%26_hfa.pdf+difference+asperger+autism&hl=nl&gl=nl&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEEShq7bXfr0kKmJZJO041e8U6YGlrx0bwKzBzXWh0tJHAWrIe024G57KwzsmIjUW5rrsNhXUr7ld4nVUWIMJRXFXzoIUksEVD8GBb7t_FhNriLnFJp5vcrfkd_tLlmUqFsY3gDCxL&sig=AHIEtbRUV1TCXswi1U77qGwN-mVIUHVG3w Study by renowned autism researcher Tony Attwood]</ref>

{{quotebox|There has been research comparing the cognitive profile of adolescents with autism and Asperger's syndrome. The studies have examined the cognitive profile of what may becalled 'High Functioning Autism', that is children with a diagnosis of autism with an Intelligence Quotient in the normal range, i.e. above 70. The term High Functioning Autism has been used in the past to describe children who had the classic signs of autism in early childhood but as they developed, formal testing of their cognitive skills indicated a greater degree of intellectual ability with greater social and adaptive behaviour skills than are usual with children with autism. Their clinical outcome was better than expected. The cognitive abilities of this group of children were then compared to the cognitive profile of children with Asperger's syndrome, who did not have a history of early cognitive or language delay. The results of the research has not established a distinct and consistent profile for each group. It was found that only a minority of each diagnostic group showed a characteristic profile.

Clinical experience and research has confirmed that in terms of the child's behavioural profile, children and adults with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome have a very similar presentation. Both groups benefit from the same behavioural treatment programs. The recommendations from clinicians and academics for treatment for both High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome are the same. Clinicians have noted that as the clinical picture of Pervasive Developmental Disorders or Autistic Spectrum Disorders changes over time, a child may receive a diagnosis of severe autism or High Functioning Autism at one point in their developmental history and Asperger's syndrome at a later stage.

In short, the research and clinical experience would suggest that there is no clear evidence that they are different disorders. Their similarities are greater than their differences.}}

Perhaps the leading irony of Chris's crusade against Asperger's is that he probably has Asperger's himself. The only real difference between a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" and "Asperger's" is the time at which the diagnosis was made. Asperger syndrome was first added to the [[Wikipedia:American Psychiatric Association|American Psychiatric Association]]'s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in [[1994]], and it wasn't until the 2000s that it gained substantial recognition among professionals. Chris happens to have made "high-functioning autism" a cornerstone of his identity because that's the diagnosis he received as a child in the late 1980s. If he'd been born two decades later, though, it is quite likely he'd have wound up diagnosed with the Asperger's label he so fiercely detests. In which case, that article he wrote would probably be ranting about the autistics trying to steal his aspie thunder.

Additionally, as of early 2010, the American Psychological Association has suggested no longer referring to Asperger's syndrome under [[wikipedia:DSM-5|the DSM-5]], due for publication in 2013. Instead, what are now referred to as Asperger's syndrome, autism, and [[Wikipedia:PDD-NOS|PDD-NOS]]—already widely understood to be related conditions—will be referred to as just autism spectrum disorders, further cementing the connection between the two. <ref>[http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1 Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose]</ref>

==See also==
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* ''[[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]]''

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Asperger syndrome|Asperger syndrome]] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]

Asperger syndrome

2010-09-30T09:33:22Z

Blusko:

{{quote|Aspergers is Nothing At All Like [[Autism]]. I have stated this Fact over and over again in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise. I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are Anything to Full Similar.|The great Christian Weston Chandler, who [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|obviously knows more about the relation between Asperger syndome and autism]] than actual scientists and psychiatrists who study it.}}

[[Image:CWCASPIE.JPG|thumb|People with Asperger's are frequently called "Aspies"]]

[[Chris]] has an extremely warped and inconsistent view of '''Asperger syndrome'''. He varies between outright denying that it is part of the [[autism]] spectrum, to idiotically confusing it with [[Bob Chandler|Alzheimer's Disease]]. You know, since both sound German. Like [[duck|bratwurst]]. He also believes people with Asperger's are [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"stealing the limelight from us autistics."]] Unlike his issues with [[Chris and race|racial minorities]] and [[homosexuals]], Chris has never attempted to ameliorate or comprimise his opinions on Asperger's for the sake of good PR, suggesting that it is his most strongly held prejudice.

==Background==
Asperger syndrome is a social disorder that is considered by some to fall within the autism spectrum. Its symptoms are similar to those seen in high-functioning autism cases like Chris (although, unlike him, people with Asperger syndrome are generally marked by above-average intelligence).

Because many laypersons regard Asperger's and HFA to be essentially interchangeable and identical, and because the slang term "aspie" (short for "Asperger's", obviously) is often used to describe anyone with a disorder along the autism spectrum, newcomers to the Chris-chan phenomenon sometimes assume that he has and/or claims to have Asperger's. A few people even jump to the conclusion that, like many people who claim to have Asperger's, Chris is self-diagnosed.

However, Chris is easily offended by the suggestion that Asperger syndrome is even remotely similar to autism.

==Chris on Asperger's==
For some time, Chris referred to Asperger's as a disorder that affects the memory: [[IRC (02 January 2009)|on IRC]], in his online [[Quizzes#Autism Quiz|Autism Quiz]], in the [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook]], and in his [[Mailbag]] on [[CWCipedia]], among other places. It appeared as if Chris was confusing Asperger's with Alzheimer's disease, an easy enough mistake for someone as stupid as he is to make.

Not long after Chris began answering the Mailbag, Asperger's became a recurring topic in the column. Numerous e-mails doggedly attempted to correct his misconceptions, while in his replies Chris became much more defensive and much less consistent in his arguments about why Asperger's is so different from autism. Eventually, he decided to settle the issue with a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|spectacularly butthurt essay]], revealing the real reason Asperger's "grinds his gears."

{{Quote|And those with Aspergers DARE try to take the Shine and Limelight AWAY from us Autistic people, not only with their "Social Flaws" and such possibly similar traits to Autism. But to SHUN us Autistics by being BETTER Communicatively and Mentally than us.|Chris, claiming that people with Asperger's are out to steal his autistic thunder.}}

In short, Chris doesn't understand what differences between his condition and Asperger's syndrome may or may not exist, and more to the point, he doesn't care. He simply feels that people with Asperger's are receiving some measure of the attention and sympathy that [[Chris and his ego|he deserves]] instead. Naturally, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] ensues. In [[Mailbag 19]] he even admits that the first thing he thinks of when he hears the term Aspergers is "Competing Retards."

As per his adamance that HFA and Aspergers are completely unrelated, Chris also point blank refuses to acknowledge scientific research that contradicts his statements of so-called fact; indeed, he eventually began totally ignoring any [[Mailbag]] entries that included references to such papers. In a private [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#January_15.2C_2010|e-mail to Vivian Gee]] from January 2010, he delivered an interesting spin on his feelings regarding the validity of that research:

{{quote|I STILL disagree with the "Scientists", regardless of how long they may have studied those psychological topics. EVEN if I am living a lie, I'd rather live this lie than believe that truth ever. I AM RESISTANT TO THE CHANGE!|Chris, to Vivian, 15 January 2010}}

Chris's belief that he is somehow representing his fellow autistics in some sort of tribal conflict against people with Asperger's is entertaining on a couple of levels. For one thing, any such rivalry is nothing but a figment of his overactive imagination, not shared by most people on the autistic spectrum. For another, autistics who've been exposed to Chris universally regard him as a revolting embarrassment to other people with the same condition.

He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like "ass burgers":

{{Quote|I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.| Chris, in an [[Jackie e-mails|e-mail to Jackie.]]}}

==Chris versus Autism Awareness Month==
{{main|Autism Awareness E-mails}}

In [[April 2010]], Chris uploaded his own version of a web ad for Autism Awareness Month to the CWCipedia. It featured another short rant in which he once again stated his belief that Asperger's has nothing to do with autism, and thus shouldn't receive any extra awareness.

This led a well-meaning volunteer worker to write him and try to correct his misconceptions. She didn't succeed, but their conversation does reveal Chris making some bizarrely contradictory statements, even by his standards. Among other things, he says that the notion of a total disconnect between Asperger's and autism is entirely his own invention, and nobody else led him to that conclusion...but that doesn't stop it from being an indisputable fact.

{{quote|For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea. I will NEVER conform to such a blasphemous link of any kind between the two.|Chris, defining [[Chris and reality|reality]] according to his whim as usual.}}

==Real differences between Asperger's and autism==
According to Chris, having Asperger's is [[Chris and Anger|NOTHING LIKE AUTISM GET IT THROUGH YOUR DANG DIRTY SKULLS]]! Of course we don't have to take Chris's word for it and we would be clinically insane if we did. People that are far more qualified than him have done some research on the matter and the results may be considered not entirely surprising.

'''Spoiler''': Chris couldn't be more wrong if he tried. Srsly.<ref>[http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:0eVuokPKvMoJ:www.sacramentoasis.com/docs/8-22-03/as_%26_hfa.pdf+difference+asperger+autism&hl=nl&gl=nl&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEEShq7bXfr0kKmJZJO041e8U6YGlrx0bwKzBzXWh0tJHAWrIe024G57KwzsmIjUW5rrsNhXUr7ld4nVUWIMJRXFXzoIUksEVD8GBb7t_FhNriLnFJp5vcrfkd_tLlmUqFsY3gDCxL&sig=AHIEtbRUV1TCXswi1U77qGwN-mVIUHVG3w Study by renowned autism researcher Tony Attwood]</ref>

{{quotebox|There has been research comparing the cognitive profile of adolescents with autism and Asperger's syndrome. The studies have examined the cognitive profile of what may becalled 'High Functioning Autism', that is children with a diagnosis of autism with an Intelligence Quotient in the normal range, i.e. above 70. The term High Functioning Autism has been used in the past to describe children who had the classic signs of autism in early childhood but as they developed, formal testing of their cognitive skills indicated a greater degree of intellectual ability with greater social and adaptive behaviour skills than are usual with children with autism. Their clinical outcome was better than expected. The cognitive abilities of this group of children were then compared to the cognitive profile of children with Asperger's syndrome, who did not have a history of early cognitive or language delay. The results of the research has not established a distinct and consistent profile for each group. It was found that only a minority of each diagnostic group showed a characteristic profile.

Clinical experience and research has confirmed that in terms of the child's behavioural profile, children and adults with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome have a very similar presentation. Both groups benefit from the same behavioural treatment programs. The recommendations from clinicians and academics for treatment for both High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome are the same. Clinicians have noted that as the clinical picture of Pervasive Developmental Disorders or Autistic Spectrum Disorders changes over time, a child may receive a diagnosis of severe autism or High Functioning Autism at one point in their developmental history and Asperger's syndrome at a later stage.

In short, the research and clinical experience would suggest that there is no clear evidence that they are different disorders. Their similarities are greater than their differences.}}

Perhaps the leading irony of Chris's crusade against Asperger's is that he probably has Asperger's himself. The only real difference between a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" and "Asperger's" is the time at which the diagnosis was made. Asperger syndrome was first added to the [[Wikipedia:American Psychiatric Association|American Psychiatric Association]]'s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in [[1994]], and it wasn't until the 2000s that it gained substantial recognition among professionals. Chris happens to have made "high-functioning autism" a cornerstone of his identity because that's the diagnosis he received as a child in the late 1980s. If he'd been born two decades later, though, it is quite likely he'd have wound up diagnosed with the Asperger's label he so fiercely detests. In which case, that article he wrote would probably be ranting about the autistics trying to steal his aspie thunder.

Additionally, as of early 2010, the American Psychological Association has suggested no longer referring to Asperger's syndrome under [[wikipedia:DSM-5|the DSM-5]], due for publication in 2013. Instead, what are now referred to as Asperger's syndrome, autism, and [[Wikipedia:PDD-NOS|PDD-NOS]]—already widely understood to be related conditions—will be referred to as just autism spectrum disorders, further cementing the connection between the two. <ref>[http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1 Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose]</ref>

==See also==
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* ''[[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]]''

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Asperger syndrome|Asperger syndrome]] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]

Sonic the Hedgehog

2010-09-28T19:16:30Z

Blusko:

[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Sonic the Hedgehog''' is a shitty recolor of beloved hero and [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Sega's blatant plagiarism has given renowned Sonichu creator [[Christian Weston Chandler]] [[Stress|many sleepless nights]].

Chris has based his life on Sonic's teachings from [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|AOSTH]]. He has been Chris's life hero since June 1990 [sic<ref>Sonic the Hedgehog wasn't released in North America or even Japan until June 1991 - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Ironically, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|Sonic the Hedgehog MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991. Of course, there can be [[Wikipedia:Rad Mobile|Rad Mobile]] by Sega released in 1990, but that would have not made much sense either seeing as Sonic only made a cameo appearance as an air freshener and nothing more, despite the particular appearance in that game predating Sonic's own first game. That, and Rad Mobile was a very less known game from Sega, so the chance of Chrissy playing the game during 1990 ([[Soul Calibur|and failing miserably at it]]) would be highly unlikely.</ref>], replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show ''Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog'', involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat Robotnik, who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. At the end of every show, a small segment titled "Sonic Says" ([[Random-access humor|humorously]] misspelled "Sonic Sez" by Tails) would begin. Each segment would involve Sonic teaching a small moral lesson for kids to learn, such as [[Jerkops|when to call 911]], [[Rape|what to do if someone attempts to molest or kidnap you]], and telling kids [[Sonichu Special 4|not to play]] with [[Megatron Pistol|guns]].

The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree]]. Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his decisions to enter contests<ref>See [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]], [[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu]].

Apparently, at one point, Sonic was more widely recognized than Mickey Mouse. He was also intentionally designed to be easy to draw, had an incoherently random daily cartoon and a dead-serious pseudo-cyberpunk Saturday cartoon to cover both ends of the kids' cartoon spectrum, an army of merchandising, and, oh yeah, most of the games actually didn't suck back in the day. That and its enormous popularity (he likes all popular music, after all, why not all popular cartoons?) almost certainly drew in Chris.

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to Sonic is unknown. As the years went by, the games became steadily worse until they fell into a randomly spawning black hole of supercrap and seem doomed to dwell within its depths forever. The cartoons both ended, were replaced by something almost as godawful as Sonichu, and the latest cartoon is dumb enough to suck, yet not egregious enough at sucking to be ironically entertaining. Many more pop culture trends have come and gone, some good, some heinously bad, but Chris has stuck by Sonic (and Pokémon) like an abused wife. Judging by the large amount of pages about Sonic-loving lolcows (autistic or not) on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], there's obviously something about Sonic that [[Trolls|we]] don't see. Given how rabid a fanboy Chris has become, perhaps brand loyalty has transitioned into a sort of fannish Stockholm syndrome.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[sonichu 0|issue 0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue 1, never mentioned again until ''[[Sonichu 11]]'' where [[Robbie]] sickeningly refers to him as "Uncle Sonic.

==Tails's (lack of a) role in the comics==
'''Miles "Tails" Prower''' is Sonic's sidekick, and has been in the franchise since ''Sonic The Hedgehog 2'' was released in 1992 for the Sega Master System. He has been featured in almost every form of Sonic-related media such as cartoons, anime and comic books. As such, many have been perplexed on why neither he nor an idiot ripoff (likely named "Prowerlo Sonichu") has made an appearance in ''Sonichu''.

Christian has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckles and Shadow and featuring an autobot named "Prower." IIt is likely Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by [[BlueSpike|13 year olds]] on [[GameFAQs|Gamefags]] and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were a [[homos|gay]] couple. Christian claims that he "did not feel it appropriate for Tails to be in my comic."<ref>[[Mailbag_38#Chris is an expert matchmaker]]</ref>

Despite this, Chris ''did'' create a Tails-like [[Pokémon]] named Evails, though he has so far only appeared on the [[Wall of Originals]].

==Comics==
[[File:IanFlynn01.png|thumb|left|Much like Chris, '''Ian Flynn''' grew up with Sonic and was probably obsessed with it in his youth, but actually ended up doing something with his life involving it, so a step up from Chris.]]
[[File:Sth189.jpg|thumb|right|More than likely a bigger inspiration than the games series itself, this comic could potentially rival Sonichu in stupidity if it were not for the semi-competent artists Sega hires.]]

Like with the cartoons, Sonic had comic adaptations up the ass, but in an even more bloated sense, as each comic series was specific to the region of the world they were released in. Japan got a series of crazy manga (Japanese comics) involving Sonic being some sort of alter-ego of a picked one misunderstood nerd ([[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Bizarre coincidence?]]), Europe got a clichéd comic series published by Fleetway (the same company that once published 2000 A.D.) that appealed to the gaming demographic of the 90s, that was more or less the glorified SEGA advertisement for the continent, and the U.S. got a comic book series based on the Saturday Morning Cartoon Sonic SATam. Despite the video game franchise more or less crashing and burning, the comic series is still alive and running to this day, although it's unclear if that's due to popularity or just a small, dedicated fan basis of creepy furries and SEGA's endorsement to squeeze every penny they can from this dying franchise.

Chris has hinted at and mentioned that he is familiar with this comic series, and the layout of his comics tends to replicate the style of early Archie Sonic covers. Reldnahc's calling Chris "Prime-Chan" in the comic may be a reference to the character Scourge the Hedgehog, an evil version of Sonic from another dimension; Sonic is referred to as "Sonic Prime" when dealing with inter-dimensional storylines. Chris has also been known to trace images from an early special of the comic "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles" for the basis of some of his fight scenes. Whether he still reads the comics now or not is unknown, but it is probable that he does. He has stated that he would like Sonichu to be published by Archie Comics.<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]</ref> If Chris still reads it, it will probably be a source of plagiarism and mass-debating for years to come.

Starting in [[April 2010]], [[Sony]] began releasing the Archie Sonic comics for download via the [[Playstation Network]].<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/22/playstation-comics-store-update-17/ PlayStation Comics Store Update]</ref> The likelihood that Chris has purchased them? [[Chris and money|Close to 100%]].

==Sega's response==

[[Image:Sega's Reponse.png|thumb|Sega's reaction to the discovery of Sonichu]]

After being scarred by the shitty drawn comic by Christian Weston Chandler one fan finally decided to let Sega in on Sonichu. It's currently unknown on what Sega will do about Chris.

==Plagiarism==

Sonic the Hedgehog is a point of inspiration for many asspies, and like many of his kind, Chris unashamedly steals from all of its various canons. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is obviously a recolored Sonic the Hedgehog, but even more obvious is [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], who somehow manages to be less original than Chris's flagship character.

{{incomplete}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 8 and 27.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with 20 years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day! [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg|Sonic looking an awful lot like Christian.
Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]"?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own unlicensed Sonic merchandise.
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.
Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[For Julie's Eyes Only|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]
*[[Amy Rose]]

==Sauces/notes==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog]] on [[Wikipedia]]
*[http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/4762-adventures-of-sonic-the-hedgehog Nostalgia Critic's review of both cartoons]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Sonic the Hedgehog

2010-09-28T19:12:26Z

Blusko:

[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Sonic the Hedgehog''' is a shitty recolor of beloved hero and [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Sega's blatant plagiarism has given renowned Sonichu creator [[Christian Weston Chandler]] [[Stress|many sleepless nights]].

Chris has based his life on Sonic's teachings from [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|AOSTH]]. He has been Chris's life hero since June 1990 [sic<ref>Sonic the Hedgehog wasn't released in North America or even Japan until June 1991 - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Ironically, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|Sonic the Hedgehog MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991. Of course, there can be [[Wikipedia:Rad Mobile|Rad Mobile]] by Sega released in 1990, but that would have not made much sense either seeing as Sonic only made a cameo appearance as an air freshener and nothing more, despite the particular appearance in that game predating Sonic's own first game. That, and Rad Mobile was a very less known game from Sega, so the chance of Chrissy playing the game during 1990 ([[Soul Calibur|and failing miserably at it]]) would be highly unlikely.</ref>], replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show ''Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog'', involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat Robotnik, who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. At the end of every show, a small segment titled "Sonic Says" ([[Random-access humor|humorously]] misspelled "Sonic Sez" by Tails) would begin. Each segment would involve Sonic teaching a small moral lesson for kids to learn, such as [[Jerkops|when to call 911]], [[Rape|what to do if someone attempts to molest or kidnap you]], and telling kids [[Sonichu Special 4|not to play]] with [[Megatron Pistol|guns]].

The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree]]. Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his decisions to enter contests<ref>See [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]], [[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu]].

Apparently, at one point, Sonic was more widely recognized than Mickey Mouse. He was also intentionally designed to be easy to draw, had an incoherently random daily cartoon and a dead-serious pseudo-cyberpunk Saturday cartoon to cover both ends of the kids' cartoon spectrum, an army of merchandising, and, oh yeah, most of the games actually didn't suck back in the day. That and its enormous popularity (he likes all popular music, after all, why not all popular cartoons?) almost certainly drew in Chris.

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to Sonic is unknown. As the years went by, the games became steadily worse until they fell into a randomly spawning black hole of supercrap and seem doomed to dwell within its depths forever. The cartoons both ended, were replaced by something almost as godawful as Sonichu, and the latest cartoon is dumb enough to suck, yet not egregious enough at sucking to be ironically entertaining. Many more pop culture trends have come and gone, some good, some heinously bad, but Chris has stuck by Sonic (and Pokémon) like an abused wife. Judging by the large amount of pages about Sonic-loving lolcows (autistic or not) on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], there's obviously something about Sonic that [[Trolls|we]] don't see. Given how rabid a fanboy Chris has become, perhaps brand loyalty has transitioned into a sort of fannish Stockholm syndrome.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[sonichu 0|issue 0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue 1, never mentioned again until ''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]'' where [[Robbie]] sickeningly refers to him as "Uncle Sonic".

==Tails's (lack of a) role in the comics==
'''Miles "Tails" Prower''' is Sonic's sidekick, and has been in the franchise since ''Sonic The Hedgehog 2'' was released in 1992 for the Sega Master System. He has been featured in almost every form of Sonic-related media such as cartoons, anime and comic books. As such, many have been perplexed on why neither he nor an idiot ripoff (likely named "Prowerlo Sonichu") has made an appearance in ''Sonichu''.

Christian has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckles and Shadow and featuring an autobot named "Prower." IIt is likely Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by [[BlueSpike|13 year olds]] on [[GameFAQs|Gamefags]] and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were a [[homos|gay]] couple. Christian claims that he "did not feel it appropriate for Tails to be in my comic."<ref>[[Mailbag_38#Chris is an expert matchmaker]]</ref>

Despite this, Chris ''did'' create a Tails-like [[Pokémon]] named Evails, though he has so far only appeared on the [[Wall of Originals]].

==Comics==
[[File:IanFlynn01.png|thumb|left|Much like Chris, '''Ian Flynn''' grew up with Sonic and was probably obsessed with it in his youth, but actually ended up doing something with his life involving it, so a step up from Chris.]]
[[File:Sth189.jpg|thumb|right|More than likely a bigger inspiration than the games series itself, this comic could potentially rival Sonichu in stupidity if it were not for the semi-competent artists Sega hires.]]

Like with the cartoons, Sonic had comic adaptations up the ass, but in an even more bloated sense, as each comic series was specific to the region of the world they were released in. Japan got a series of crazy manga (Japanese comics) involving Sonic being some sort of alter-ego of a picked one misunderstood nerd ([[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Bizarre coincidence?]]), Europe got a clichéd comic series published by Fleetway (the same company that once published 2000 A.D.) that appealed to the gaming demographic of the 90s, that was more or less the glorified SEGA advertisement for the continent, and the U.S. got a comic book series based on the Saturday Morning Cartoon Sonic SATam. Despite the video game franchise more or less crashing and burning, the comic series is still alive and running to this day, although it's unclear if that's due to popularity or just a small, dedicated fan basis of creepy furries and SEGA's endorsement to squeeze every penny they can from this dying franchise.

Chris has hinted at and mentioned that he is familiar with this comic series, and the layout of his comics tends to replicate the style of early Archie Sonic covers. Reldnahc's calling Chris "Prime-Chan" in the comic may be a reference to the character Scourge the Hedgehog, an evil version of Sonic from another dimension; Sonic is referred to as "Sonic Prime" when dealing with inter-dimensional storylines. Chris has also been known to trace images from an early special of the comic "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles" for the basis of some of his fight scenes. Whether he still reads the comics now or not is unknown, but it is probable that he does. He has stated that he would like Sonichu to be published by Archie Comics.<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]</ref> If Chris still reads it, it will probably be a source of plagiarism and mass-debating for years to come.

Starting in [[April 2010]], [[Sony]] began releasing the Archie Sonic comics for download via the [[Playstation Network]].<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/22/playstation-comics-store-update-17/ PlayStation Comics Store Update]</ref> The likelihood that Chris has purchased them? [[Chris and money|Close to 100%]].

==Sega's response==

[[Image:Sega's Reponse.png|thumb|Sega's reaction to the discovery of Sonichu]]

After being scarred by the shitty drawn comic by Christian Weston Chandler one fan finally decided to let Sega in on Sonichu. It's currently unknown on what Sega will do about Chris.

==Plagiarism==

Sonic the Hedgehog is a point of inspiration for many asspies, and like many of his kind, Chris unashamedly steals from all of its various canons. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is obviously a recolored Sonic the Hedgehog, but even more obvious is [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], who somehow manages to be less original than Chris's flagship character.

{{incomplete}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 8 and 27.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with 20 years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day! [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg|Sonic looking an awful lot like Christian.
Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]"?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own unlicensed Sonic merchandise.
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.
Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[For Julie's Eyes Only|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]
*[[Amy Rose]]

==Sauces/notes==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog]] on [[Wikipedia]]
*[http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/4762-adventures-of-sonic-the-hedgehog Nostalgia Critic's review of both cartoons]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Bubbles Rosechu

2010-09-26T17:24:11Z

Blusko:

{{quote|Bubbles has a bubbly personality; likes to have fun often, a bit goofy sometimes, yet serious when the situation calls for it.|-[[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Chris]] on Bubbles's complete non-character}}

[[Image:Bubbles.jpg|thumb|Bubbles as she appears in [[Sonichu 3]]]]
[[File:ModNation Bubbles.jpg|thumb|Bubbles in [[ModNation Racers]]'']]

'''Bubbles''' is a [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]] that formed from eggs released by the [[rainbow]] as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]].

Of all the members of the Chaotic Combo, Bubbles is the most generic and useless. She is a soulless filler character who has two main purposes in the comic. Her initial purpose was to balance the Chaotic Combo by having a water Pokémon in the mix. In later comics, her role was expanded to be a filler character for subplots, until [[Chris]] needed to find an appropriate romantic partner for other, more important characters. Despite the fact that she was hatched in 2004, Chris still insists that she is over 18 and therefore making porn of her and [[Blake]] doesn’t make him a [[pedofork]]. He then promptly [[retcon]]ned her birthdate to all the way back to 1989 for the express purpose of making 34 out of her and her canonically 4 year-old boyfriend.

In ''[[Sonichu 8]]'', it's implied that she can dive to ridiculous depths exceeding 5000 fathoms (for comparison, a [[navy|sperm]] [[Barbara Chandler|whale]] could reach about 1650 fathoms tops). It's likely that her deep-diving habits have given her chronic decompression sickness localised [[slow-in-the-mind|entirely in her brain]].
She is said to be 90% water, which is so abnormally high (the average human body is around 60% water, while the composition of a normal hedgehog furfag is unknown) that it's a wonder her body is held together at all. For some reason, this precludes her from getting a tan like all the other rosechus (raising yet another issue on why rosechus covered in fur can get a tan at all), showing once more that Chris [[Honor roll|doesn't know shit about biology or chemistry]].

She is a combination of four characters:

*[[Raichu]]
*[[Amy Rose]]
*Sally Acorn, one of the rare characters known for having boobs but no clothes
*[[Pokémon|Marill]]; notice her tail and color scheme.

==Comic appearances==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===

While in her unevolved Rosey form, Bubbles was raised by a [[Swampert]]. Unfortunately for the Swampert, a giant [[Boulder-Dropping_Whale#Boulder-Dropping_Whale|whale]] dropped a boulder on her and injured her. This forced Bubbles to evolve into her Rosechu form, allowing her to save her adoptive mother.

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

Bubbles first meets [[Blake]] while he is attempting to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]]. He accidentally splashes her with a wave he created while riding a hover board. Despite being a water Pokémon, she is somehow offended by this, which inspires her to team up with the other [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] for an incredibly unfair gang-stomping.

===[[Sonichu 5]]===

She has cameos in this issue but no speaking lines because she has no personality at all.

===[[Sonichu 6]]===
In this issue, Bubbles's attentions are strangely divided. One minute she pretends to be concerned about [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's sister Crystal]] getting trapped in the mirror, the next minute she is talking about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s great basketball skills. She and [[Angelica]] think to themselves "What a dreamboat." Way to develop your characters, Chris.

===Episode 18 Prologue===

Here we see the [[Chaotic Combo]] celebrating their 19th birthday on February 2, 2008. This is a lame ass attempt to make Chris look like less of a pedophile. Shortly after, on March 21, she celebrates Blake’s birthday alone with him. They share a kiss after explaining how Blake has the maturity of a 20 year old despite being cloned only four years ago.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring break]]===

While the other [[Rosechu]]s and [[Angelica]] are sun-bathing, Bubbles gives a lengthy explanation about why water Pokémon don’t need sunscreen and cannot tan (Why she wears a bathing suit when before she was running around naked, however, is never explained). [[Magi-Chan]] telepathically tells her that he has detected a [[Sonichu Ball]] in a nearby ocean. Before going to fetch it, Blake kicks sand in everyone’s faces to make him look like a bad guy. Bubbles steps up to "deal with this jerk." She restrains him and leads him away with the others to be alone with him. The other two Rosechus think it’s "cute" that they pretend to not be a couple.

Bubbles and Blake agree to have a romantic epilogue under a pier after she finds the Sonichu Ball. Unfortunately for Blake, [[Silvana]] takes the form of Bubbles so she can rape him just for laughs. Bubbles finds the Sonichu Ball, but not in time to save Blake. Silvana then transforms into Blake and tries to have sex with Bubbles. Magi-chan warns her first and then the two fight. Silvana just teleports away though.

===[[Sonichu 9#Episode 20: CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]]===

Bubbles and Blake are shown a Group of PuniSlavs on the beach, in which Bubbles uses some sort of electrically charged tidal wave to destroy her enemies. Moments later, she and Blake make out, showing that she apparently forgives Blake for having sex with a hermaphrodite in the previous issue.

== [[Love Quest]] ==

She's sexually attracted by Blake and wanted to have sex with him under a pier but Silvana got there first, disguising herself as Bubbles. In spite of this, she still adores Blake, never questioning how he managed to let his libido mask the fact that Silvana was a fake. Despite what most would consider a [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|critical lapse of judgment]] capable of ruining a relationship, she still married [[Blake]] on July 4th 2009.<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref> Since Chris is a jerk, we're given no information about the wedding or the events leading up to it.

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:262-ACBubbles.jpg
Image:263-ACBubblesBck.jpg
Image:265-YuBubbles.jpg
Image:266-Bubbles.jpg|Apparently Chris is too lazy to give many poses to this character.
Image:IvysBubbles to Blake.jpg|Bubbles, as depicted by [[Ivy]].
Image:Some Bubbly pun by the.jpg

</gallery>
</center>

==References==

{{CWCipedia|chris=Bubbles Rosechu}}

<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Bubbles Rosechu

2010-09-26T17:23:35Z

Blusko:

{{quote|Bubbles has a bubbly personality; likes to have fun often, a bit goofy sometimes, yet serious when the situation calls for it.|-[[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Chris]] on Bubbles's complete non-character}}

[[Image:Bubbles.jpg|thumb|Bubbles as she appears in [[Sonichu 3]]]]
[[File:ModNation Bubbles.jpg|thumb|Bubbles in [[ModNation Racers]]'']]

'''Bubbles''' is a [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]] that formed from eggs released by the [[rainbow]] as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]].

Of all the members of the Chaotic Combo, Bubbles is the most generic and useless. She is a soulless filler character who has two main purposes in the comic. Her initial purpose was to balance the Chaotic Combo by having a water Pokémon in the mix. In later comics, her role was expanded to be a filler character for subplots, until [[Chris]] needed to find an appropriate romantic partner for other, more important characters. Despite the fact that she was hatched in 2004, Chris still insists that she is over 18 and therefore making porn of her and [[Blake]] doesn’t make him a [[pedofork]]. He then promptly [[retcon]]ned her birthdate to all the way back to 1989 for the express purpose of making 34 out of her and her canonically 4 year-old boyfriend.

In ''[[Sonichu 8]]'', it's implied that she can plunge ridiculous to depths exceeding 5000 fathoms (for comparison, a [[navy|sperm]] [[Barbara Chandler|whale]] could reach about 1650 fathoms tops). It's likely that her deep-diving habits have given her chronic decompression sickness localised [[slow-in-the-mind|entirely in her brain]].
She is said to be 90% water, which is so abnormally high (the average human body is around 60% water, while the composition of a normal hedgehog furfag is unknown) that it's a wonder her body is held together at all. For some reason, this precludes her from getting a tan like all the other rosechus (raising yet another issue on why rosechus covered in fur can get a tan at all), showing once more that Chris [[Honor roll|doesn't know shit about biology or chemistry]].

She is a combination of four characters:

*[[Raichu]]
*[[Amy Rose]]
*Sally Acorn, one of the rare characters known for having boobs but no clothes
*[[Pokémon|Marill]]; notice her tail and color scheme.

==Comic appearances==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===

While in her unevolved Rosey form, Bubbles was raised by a [[Swampert]]. Unfortunately for the Swampert, a giant [[Boulder-Dropping_Whale#Boulder-Dropping_Whale|whale]] dropped a boulder on her and injured her. This forced Bubbles to evolve into her Rosechu form, allowing her to save her adoptive mother.

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

Bubbles first meets [[Blake]] while he is attempting to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]]. He accidentally splashes her with a wave he created while riding a hover board. Despite being a water Pokémon, she is somehow offended by this, which inspires her to team up with the other [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] for an incredibly unfair gang-stomping.

===[[Sonichu 5]]===

She has cameos in this issue but no speaking lines because she has no personality at all.

===[[Sonichu 6]]===
In this issue, Bubbles's attentions are strangely divided. One minute she pretends to be concerned about [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's sister Crystal]] getting trapped in the mirror, the next minute she is talking about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s great basketball skills. She and [[Angelica]] think to themselves "What a dreamboat." Way to develop your characters, Chris.

===Episode 18 Prologue===

Here we see the [[Chaotic Combo]] celebrating their 19th birthday on February 2, 2008. This is a lame ass attempt to make Chris look like less of a pedophile. Shortly after, on March 21, she celebrates Blake’s birthday alone with him. They share a kiss after explaining how Blake has the maturity of a 20 year old despite being cloned only four years ago.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring break]]===

While the other [[Rosechu]]s and [[Angelica]] are sun-bathing, Bubbles gives a lengthy explanation about why water Pokémon don’t need sunscreen and cannot tan (Why she wears a bathing suit when before she was running around naked, however, is never explained). [[Magi-Chan]] telepathically tells her that he has detected a [[Sonichu Ball]] in a nearby ocean. Before going to fetch it, Blake kicks sand in everyone’s faces to make him look like a bad guy. Bubbles steps up to "deal with this jerk." She restrains him and leads him away with the others to be alone with him. The other two Rosechus think it’s "cute" that they pretend to not be a couple.

Bubbles and Blake agree to have a romantic epilogue under a pier after she finds the Sonichu Ball. Unfortunately for Blake, [[Silvana]] takes the form of Bubbles so she can rape him just for laughs. Bubbles finds the Sonichu Ball, but not in time to save Blake. Silvana then transforms into Blake and tries to have sex with Bubbles. Magi-chan warns her first and then the two fight. Silvana just teleports away though.

===[[Sonichu 9#Episode 20: CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]]===

Bubbles and Blake are shown a Group of PuniSlavs on the beach, in which Bubbles uses some sort of electrically charged tidal wave to destroy her enemies. Moments later, she and Blake make out, showing that she apparently forgives Blake for having sex with a hermaphrodite in the previous issue.

== [[Love Quest]] ==

She's sexually attracted by Blake and wanted to have sex with him under a pier but Silvana got there first, disguising herself as Bubbles. In spite of this, she still adores Blake, never questioning how he managed to let his libido mask the fact that Silvana was a fake. Despite what most would consider a [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|critical lapse of judgment]] capable of ruining a relationship, she still married [[Blake]] on July 4th 2009.<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref> Since Chris is a jerk, we're given no information about the wedding or the events leading up to it.

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:262-ACBubbles.jpg
Image:263-ACBubblesBck.jpg
Image:265-YuBubbles.jpg
Image:266-Bubbles.jpg|Apparently Chris is too lazy to give many poses to this character.
Image:IvysBubbles to Blake.jpg|Bubbles, as depicted by [[Ivy]].
Image:Some Bubbly pun by the.jpg

</gallery>
</center>

==References==

{{CWCipedia|chris=Bubbles Rosechu}}

<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Chris and religion

2010-09-26T11:24:45Z

Blusko: added image

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1st Corinthians 13:11, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't_Mess_With_Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely_high_boyfriend_factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu_Special_4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For_Julie's_Eyes_Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC_(28_December_2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Catholic church Chris could have come up with, as most Catholic churches have a patron saint.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls|trolls']] side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]].]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|Radar sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC_Update_9_April_2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions. This would technically make him closer to a [[Wikipedia:Unitarian|Unitarian]] than a Methodist.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...[insert anything Chris [[fail|fails]] at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[fail]]ure was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To_Clyde_and_Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter in [[Mailbag 33]] asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that." One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle_paul_rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of Apostle Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
[[Image:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|right|Jesus's reaction to Chris's antics]]

{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, [[Mailbag 30#Questions|with his own theory]].}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]], and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from [[Family Guy]]. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all "Seven Deadly Sins"===
[[Image:Pope face palm.jpg|thumb|right|His Holiness's reaction to Chris's commission of all Seven Deadly Sins.]]

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of sex toys and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]). He's even gone so far as to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3]] in an attempt to gain money.
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the Internet, Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household chores is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris_and_anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done ... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos|homosexuality]] is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-ye-ha-me-ha!]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris' terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're true and honest, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death. Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]]. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Fail|failure]].

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he describes himself as a "Lamb of God." Jesus Christ is commonly referred to as this by many Christians. Chris has also referred to himself as a "Son of God" while attempting to intimidate [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|a certain troll]].
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American south, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in Taoism, a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus." It's even harder for atheists to try and take GodJesus seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

This might have been Chris trying to be funny, as the second sentence doesn't make any sense.

[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]] reveals that Chris has some awareness of Judaism, probably picked up from watching [[South Park]]. He appears to not understand that Jews and Buddhists don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from [[South Park]]). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A| article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".{{cite}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

File:Thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG

2010-09-26T11:06:46Z

Blusko: They're all gonna laugh at you, Christian! CWC with Mrs. White

They're all gonna laugh at you, Christian! CWC with Mrs. White

Talk:Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV

2010-09-26T10:04:33Z

Blusko: /* New Glasses? */

{{Not A Forum}}
Slugged in a transcription, couldn't make out one part though. /r/ help with "And today was our anniversary this 25th of September b... OH NO! What's that? A <site pert?>? Aaaah!!". It looks like another boat or a pier or something. [[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 16:32, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

== T-shirt ==

The t-shirt isn't plain white. It has some red logo/writing on it, which is most visible near the end of the video. Kudos to anyone able to work it out. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:59, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:It says Brick Fest 2005 or 2006, June 9-17, and a URL at the bottom. Seems like some promotional item for Lego. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 16:08, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
::It is from 2000, I'm pretty sure near the end you can clearly see "000" after the fold in this shirt. [http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/kl/brickfest/tshirts/front-detail.jpg closeup of what it probably says,] [http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/kl/brickfest/tshirts/front.jpg front], [http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/kl/brickfest/tshirts/back.jpg back]. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:13, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:::[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BrickFest BrickFest] is an unofficial LEGO convention which is usually held in Virginia - I guess this is another convention that Chris has attended.--[[User:BADavid|BADavid]] 16:14, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
::::Although in this case, the shirt Chris is wearing has "Washington" written on it (I saw it at around 50 seconds+). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:18, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

::::Comic sans logo fail --[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 17:22, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
And I thought Chris couldn't sink any lower.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 16:26, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

==New hairdo==
It would seem that Chris has resorted to just letting his hair grow out to hide his receding hairline. Think this may be because of his new sweetheart or because everyone keeps mentioning it? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 17:41, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

== Sweethearts ==

Did Chris mean his current sweetheart in this video or one of his past ones? He normally means an actual girlfriend when discussing sweethearts; he said nothing about Gal-pal. I'm wondering who this was meant for. [[User:MissRadioactive|MissRadioactive]] 17:54, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:He says " Who is now Chris's girlfriend!" so it must be Jackie. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 18:00, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
::That's what I was thinking. Good find. [[User:MissRadioactive|MissRadioactive]] 19:09, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

== Picture ==
Added a little picture of Chris's mug from the beginning of the video. It shows more of his horrible aging. Someone do me a favor and add a better caption to it because mine sucks. [[User:Magi-chan|Magi-chan]] 18:06, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:This has some real potential for good reaction images. Here are some: http://imgur.com/a/yv37e/on_a_boat find moar plox --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 00:16, 26 September 2010 (PDT)

==New Glasses?==
Is it just me, or do those frames look shinier than usual? Maybe it's the rare inclusion of sunlight in his room, but still...--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 18:27, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:I noticed that as well but a cursory check of recent videos indicate it's just the sunlight, which no doubt was making Chris's skin smoke and blister by the end of the video. [[User:Blusko|Blusko]] 03:04, 26 September 2010 (PDT)

== What was that at the end? ==

I heard a faint voice at the tail end of the video. I think it was Barb saying "Hello" to Chris. Did anyone hear that, too? --vofdoom38, 18:33, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

Nice catch. Added a little bit to the transcript.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 18:39, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris fails with comedy again... ==

Chris' actions in this video seem to be a failed use of "Tragedy+time=comedy" toward insulting <s>Troll X</s> Jackie's old boyfriend. Of course, the Titanic is still a bit too soon, showing how Chris can't even follow comedic formulations.

Also, goddamn, his camera is yellowing the video big time. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:14, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

: "The consequences will never be the same" and Chris's smugness lead me to think he didn't mean this to be funny at all. --[[User:MissRadioactive|MissRadioactive]] 19:36, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

:: My guess is that Jackie specifically requested that he use that line. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 20:36, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

CWC-isms

2010-09-21T17:13:16Z

Blusko:

<center>{{Honest}}</center>
One of Chris's most notorious features is his strange vocabulary. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to adult stuff by its name, Chris often has to resort to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of things a man his age would already be familiar with. While some of them are understandable—after all, even a decrepit elder would probably feel uncomfortable while talking about his [[Butt garments|diapers]]—others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", are capable of turning what would otherwise be a normal sentence into something only a retarded manchild like Chris would say. Others are attempts to be clever ([[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|"navy"]] for [[semen]] because it sounds like sea men). Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among autistics and assburgers, and you get his so-called '''CWCisms'''.

CWC-isms may be combinations of words that already exist, entirely new words, or commonplace words used repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

CWC-isms

2010-09-21T17:11:53Z

Blusko:

<center>{{Honest}}</center>
One of Chris's most notorious features is his strange vocabulary. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to adult stuff by its name, Chris often has to resort to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of things a man his age would already be familiar with. While some of them are understandable—after all, even a decrepit elder would probably feel uncomfortable while talking about his [[Butt garments|diapers]]—others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", are capable of turning what would otherwise be a normal sentence into something only a retarded manchild like Chris would say. Others are attempts to be clever ([[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|"navy"]] for [[semen]] because it sounds like sea men). Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among autistics and assburgers, and you get his so-called '''CWCisms'''.

CWC-isms may be combinations of words that already exist, entirely new words, or single words used repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

CWC-isms

2010-09-21T17:11:12Z

Blusko:

<center>{{Honest}}</center>
One of Chris's most notorious features is his strange vocabulary. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to adult stuff by its name, Chris often has to resort to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of things a man his age would already be familiar with. While some of them are understandable—after all, even a decrepit elder would probably feel uncomfortable while talking about his [[Butt garments|diapers]]—others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", are capable of turning what would otherwise be a normal sentence into something only a retarded manchild like Chris would say. Others are attempts to be clever ([[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|"navy"]] for [[semen]] because it sounds like sea men). Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among autistics and assburgers, and you get his so-called '''CWCisms'''.

CWC-isms may be combinations of words that already exist, entirely new words, or single words used repeatedly in anpeculiar or obsessive way.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Trolls

2010-09-06T20:18:57Z

Blusko: /* Roach the baby-sitter */ new section

== To do ==
*List of all known individuals who have trolled CWC (name & bio)
*Troll websites (ED, 4chan, Jimmy Hill's sonichu site, etc)
*Minor trolls of little significance or that have little known info should be merged into this article.
*Should be in Alphabetical order. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 01:17, 8 March 2009 (CET)

Instead of just having "see main article", it wouldn't hurt to have like a brief summary that highlights what the troll has done to Chris and/or their relationship with Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:41, 9 June 2009 (CEST)

==A suggested guideline for troll notability==

If Chris has personally acknowledged the trolls, then they should be listed. For instance, because Chris said "BILLY MAYS IS THE MAYOR OF CWCVILLE!", that warrants BILLY MAYS on the list. Obviously, there are some notable exceptions I think should stay - Cogsdev, since she did make the site; Arjen, because he did provide a repository of Chris's videos (which has managed to freak Chris out, allegedly at least); and CEO, because Chris has discovered Krapple.

I think this should minimize namefaggotry. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:35, 23 May 2009 (CEST)

:Agreed. I wonder if the admin of /cwc/ is as notable as CEO to? Kidding --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 09:15, 22 June 2009 (CEST)

:Is CEO really notable at all? He's the webmaster of course, but for the most part he just lurks. I think Van Krause (admin) should be in his place. Also, do we have enough [http://888chan.org/i/res/135304.html info] for Geneva's own page, or do we just say fuck him like with Fagmaster? He seems to be pretty scared of being outed. --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 23:34, 1 September 2009 (CEST)

::Although I'm flattered, CEO is still indeed notable. If it wasn't for him and his chan, /cwc/ prolly wouldn't even exist. As such, he does belong on the list. If someone wants to put me on there though, I'm fine with it I guess. ^^; --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 09:36, 11 September 2009 (CEST)

Considering notability, perhaps the following should be included since they've been acknowledged by Chris: GeckoMantis, Champthom, CrassCrab, & spasticnerfbag. (all were present in the wedding comic as Gecko & Mantis, Crass & Champ, & Spas, respectively.) Chris also did a "shoutout" to one of the aformentioned trolls in the 'diaper' pics. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 07:27, 25 August 2009 (CEST)
*By this logic, we'd have to include trolls who haven't done shit who have gotten shot outs in other videos would be listed (Stalyn in the Q&A video, RachmannDesu and some other PVCCers in Rollin' and Trollin', etc.). In those cases, it's not so much these people trolled Chris directly, per say, but rather it was more like the ideas of the people involved. Pretty much the wedding comic is one big in joke with every new character being a troll without Chris realizing it, but the fact isn't public because otherwise faggots from ED will want our heads for doing a circle jerk sort of trolling there. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:00, 2 September 2009 (CEST)
:*In other words, notable trolls are trolls who have trolled Chris directly and Chris has acknowledged it, not merely people Chris have mentioned in passing in videos. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:02, 2 September 2009 (CEST)

== Great job on the picture, but... ==

...Bob counts as a troll? I guess. You know you suck when you get trolled by your own family.-TheREALClydeCash
* Whoever made the pic wins an internet. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 17:34, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

== Needs to be updated ,a lot ==

Lacks Vivian for example. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 16:32, 21 November 2009 (CET)
*I wouldn't exactly say she's a troll, considering she doesn't directly go after Chris and has always tried to be nice to him. But yeah, there are trolls that need to be added. Like Jack Thaddeus, Samantha the Cat(head of the miscreants before having her teeth fall out and being replaced by clyde).--[[User:CrassCrab|The Great Wizard CrassCrab, Lord of the Seven Realm and Master of the Archane Black Arts of the Eleventh Trans-Dimensional Vortex]] 17:23, 21 November 2009 (CET)
:*I definitely agree about Jack but there's nothing about Samantha that is publicly known nor that Chris has ever mentioned. Please refer to the troll notability guidelines, Crass. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:58, 21 November 2009 (CET)
==Devil Trolls==
An article was created for the Devil Trolls that Chris fights in the latest comic page. I merged the two. Maybe we could expand on that section as a kind of "comic portrayal" section. Could include some other stuff too. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:13, 13 December 2009 (CET)

* Question about the devil trolls in Sonichu 10. Immediately after fighting them, Chris implicitly reveals the whole scene was a shout-out to the game Fairytale Fights (then goes on to plug Brutal Legend). Does anyone know if the Devil Trolls' design was plagiarised from said game? Because if so we ought to mention that in their section. [[User:Xentrilus|Xentrilus]] 18:35, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

== Talk:PodMonkey ==
[''archived for the PodMonkey article merge'' --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 00:39, 9 January 2010 (UTC)]

I have no clue who this guy is, but I'm getting some good vibes. Fill me in and I'll do what I can. [[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:24, 21 June 2009 (CEST)
*He's doing good things. He's a celebrity on #sonichu, among other things, mostly because he knows Chris IRL and is friends with the jerkops at Fashion Square Mall. More will be revealed in good time. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:48, 21 June 2009 (CEST)

M'kay, I'm a patience guy. I'll just brace for epic. [[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:51, 22 June 2009 (CEST)

===Merge===
PodMonkey is out of the scene for now and most of what he's done won't come to light because of obvious concerns, so what do you all think of just moving this to a subsection of the [[Trolls]] article? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:18, 2 September 2009 (CEST)
*I agree. It should be moved. --[[User:BabyGotBack|BabyGotBack]] 03:49, 27 December 2009 (CET)

== How does Chris think the trolls think? ==

This article could benefit from discussion on how Chris thinks the trolls views themselves and their lives. I'd ramble on and on about it, but there's very little material on this subject.

When I read [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails]] and other stuff where Chris pretends he's a troll, I kept thinking how Chris portrays the trolls in the comics. In the last email to Jack, "Sam" complains that trolls are having "more and more pathetic days ourselves in our individual damn lives". In fiction side, then, before getting faceraped, Jason rambles on about how he's a troll and he's basically just an evil villain who does this shit because he's a troll. So he really seems to think every single troll is just doing this because they're evil and have empty lives.

In short, it'd be interesting to compare two things: Why Chris thinks he's being trolled (trolls are lifeless, evil, cruel vermin who hate him because he's better than them), and why trolls ''actually'' troll him (to force Chris to get a clue, and since that's doomed to fail, provide a nearly-endless source of entertainment - or "lulz" as the modern vernacular goes). --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:27, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
He's part right. Trolls troll because it's fun. If Chris ignored them, they'd leave. It's his hilarious reactions that draw the trolls to him. [[User:Sarge|Sarge]] 9:12 PM, 12 April 2010 EST.

== Was [[Joshua Martinez]] an elite troll? ==

I don't know, I wasn't even aroundwhen this was happening. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 19:42, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
*Martinez has two accomplishments of note: Lori Lopez and Vanessa Hudgens. From what I understand, he also inadvertently pushed back the Ivy Saga because of his independent trolling efforts. If anything, he did more than Sydney (as in succeeded, albeit sloppily), so he should probably be on this page. --[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 01:14, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

== "What a world..." quote ==

A relatively minor point compared to the rest of the article, but according to the [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Episode_18|Videobooks]], Bubbles is "thinking" the quote. It's a bit confusing in the art, but Chris says the quote using Bubbles's voice. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 09:11, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

== Theories ==

This page needs some sort of summary of Chris's theory of trolls, perhaps a subsection of the Motivation heading, discussing how trolls are part of some conspiracy involving Megan, Michael Synder, and the Green County School Board.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:33, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

== Roach the baby-sitter ==

Would she qualify as a pre-ED troll (and therefore the first troll)? [[User:Blusko|Blusko]] 13:18, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Hair

2010-07-20T14:43:14Z

Blusko: No evidence of hormonal imbalance, most likely MPB

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

Already in atrotious physical condition for someone his age, Chris's baldness has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedophile]]. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like by December]]

When confronted in the Mailbag ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.

Chris's brother [[Cole Smithey]] is a total baldo while only in his 40s.

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Troll|or a dude pretending to be one, lol]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the Spanish side has [[Racism|Sonichu in a sombrero]] (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZE SOMBREROS).

===Gallery of hair===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:Hair

2010-07-20T14:37:31Z

Blusko: /* Male pattern baldness? */

Just moved from [[Chris and health]]. Someone write about his hair, hair styles, and how he's losing his hair lately. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 07:48, 31 October 2009 (CET)
* Spoiler: can't find a public source but Chris's mom cuts his hair :3. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:11, 15 November 2009 (CET)
in the [[Kacey Phone Call]] Chris says:
Chris: Oh come on you know, ahh...'''I bet his mom probably cut his hair''' and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.
[[User:Starstuff|starstuff]] 06:03, 19 November 2009 (CET)

**I for one find this unbelievable hilarious. Chris is acting like he's one a sit-com. [[User:Graduon4eva|Graduon4eva]] 22:51, 2 January 2010 (CET)
==Male pattern baldness?==

Why do we assume his hair loss is due to a hormone imbalance? Male pattern baldness is genetic and usually turns up in the early to mid 20's. We'd need to know if his maternal grandfather was bald, but it's still a possibility. --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 01:20, 2 January 2010 (CET)

Most definitely MPB. Look at Cole's hairline.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:21, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
: Agreed. Whilst 28 is probably still in the 'young' side of the MBP age spectrum, by no medical standard would it be considered premature. I'm going to edit the article to reflect this. [[User:Blusko|Blusko]] 14:37, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-07-05T13:23:14Z

Blusko: /* Discovery */ Too in-jokey for an introductory page

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For all other uses please visit [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]''

{{Honest}}

[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Our hero, in his "derp" position.]]
[[Image:Lapse.gif|right]]
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), also known by his scientific name, ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' is a [[Chris and Rape|perverse]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "bear conductor." In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo," and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's alright Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and March [[2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're trying to be tough negotiators.

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==
===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In 1989, noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the 4th grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school." Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the 6th grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]].

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.]]
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

{{Quote|"It is certain, that even the most ignorant and stupid peasants, nay infants, nay even brute beasts, improve by experience.|David Hume, [[Love_quest|having never met Chris]].}}

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7]] unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and [[hair]]-brained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.
{{clear}}

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010}}

By late 2008 trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This appears to be connected to a reduction in his online presence, and the disappearance of his [[medallion]] and his [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]]. Of late Chris has become paranoid and has grown more suspicious of anyone online, imploring everyone to meet him in person if they ''really'' want to get to know him. Of course, Chris has [[List of Chris's Lies|a penchant for lying]], so talking to him in real life is as pointless as talking to him online. Also, his desire to avoid being fooled has not made him any better at doing it, and trolls can be assured that sooner or later he'll fall for some "girl" that asks him to [[BlueSpike|shove stuff up his ass]]. No matter how hard he tries to avoid the trolling, he will always inexplicably find someone to troll him.

Today Chris continues to live with his parents, living off the [[monthly tugboat|money]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. Since he has no job and is usually banned from any place he visits for more than thirty minutes, Chris has few social outlets and has grown increasingly withdrawn. In his desperate need for attention, he repeatedly returns to the trolls, unwittingly proving that the only people who will put up with him are those who just want him to do something stupid for them to laugh at.

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = Part 3 of the series
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC a sad story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Happy Happy Joy Joy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9TFSOHOXHk4}}
| Stardate = 9 February 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/AnimuAnimalia AnimuAnimalia]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = My name is Christian Weston Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|__xCoK1B8Xo}}
| Stardate = 6 April 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/AnimuAnimalia AnimuAnimalia]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]], Chris's own CWCki account!
* [[Scrapbook of Fail]], a sampling of Chris's artistic masterworks
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page The current official website]

{{Template:Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Parody

2010-04-21T20:37:31Z

Blusko:

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to ''[[Sonichu 8]]''<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. If you put one of those doggy Halloween costumes of Yoda on a dog, he looks funny. That doesn't mean the dog is doing a parody of ''Star Wars''.

A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

In the United States, legally valid parodies are expected to demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> in order for the derivative work to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work."<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref> The degree to which this must be shown differs from case to case but since ''Sonichu'' is lacking as a humorous or critical piece as detailed above, there would likely be a heavier onus on its creator to demonstrate this tenet. Chris would be very hard pressed to do so; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves go beyond following the typical cartoonish, good vs. evil mold of the original materials and employ storylines that full-on mirror their plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Legend of Link''). In fact, the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation]], Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. By his logic, "Weird Al" Yankovic should be going around proclaiming himself the ONE TRUE CREATOR of "Eat It", as though the song holds the same station in pop music history as the original "Beat It".

The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. This message is ham-fisted, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities," it's quite possible that he literally believes ED ''is'' a business.

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Most recently, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==Chris does not understand the concept of parody==
Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

More recently, as revealed in the [[Adult Swim posts]], he makes the same error. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==
While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his abomination by claiming "parody," he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "troll works": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Funnily enough, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[Sonichu finale]] (an actual parody of ''Sonichu'')
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==Links to actual parodies==
*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]
*[http://www.sonichuttahcs.deviantart.com/ 'Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series' on DeviantART]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Talk:Respectable Frames

2010-04-20T06:20:43Z

Blusko: /* Actual pedos wearing actual pedo-glasses */

== I hope those Pedo-Glasses actually make him a pedo ==
I would have sex with him, even though I'm under 18.
*GTFO and sign your posts, Princess Chris Chan. [[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:07, 21 June 2009 (CEST)

== Of Fail ==

Someone needs to move this page to Pedo-Glasses of Fail. –[[User:Lynxr|Ich bin schwul, '''Lynxr'''. Ich bin schwul.]]– 01:02, 17 December 2009 (CET)

:Are there any Pedo-Glasses of Win? --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 03:12, 17 December 2009 (CET)
:Even if the Pedo-Glasses are a relic by themselves, they are not failing in their task. We are not adding the term "Fail" to the PSEye neither.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:15, 17 December 2009 (CET)
::They fail to make him not look like a pedo. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 03:25, 17 December 2009 (CET)
*Not every relic has to have the prefix "Of Fail." As I say on the Relic of Fail page, I'm starting to regret coming up with the suffix. Really, I think that "of Fail" should be appended for relics forged by Chris's hands. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:30, 17 December 2009 (CET)
::Fair enough :) –[[User:Lynxr|Ich bin schwul, '''Lynxr'''. Ich bin schwul.]]– 03:34, 17 December 2009 (CET)

== Actual pedos wearing actual pedo-glasses ==

Here's a couple of links to professional nonces proudly sporting their sexy specs; [http://www.herbanmedia.com/ambglb/myspace/myspace-pics-t/715patty_ann_kenley.jpg Patty Ann Kenley] and [http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/ffximage/2008/07/02/250ferguson,0.jpg Dennis Ferguson]. Could and should these be incorporated into the article, or has the point about Chris' unfortunate taste in eye-wear well enough made? [[User:Blusko|Blusko]] 06:20, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Blusko

2010-03-25T12:18:43Z

Blusko:

=TRUE and HONEST aspirations=
This user aims to cut his article tinkering down to a maximum of eight smooth edits.

White knight

2010-03-24T22:39:50Z

Blusko: /* Chris is beyond pity */

[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the internet to help or defend someone else on the internet against other people on the internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris-chan has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris-chan saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving or even beyond such assistance. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[Racism|racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him on good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! [[Kick the Autistic]] is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref> [[Sonichu 7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets [[Family Guy]] as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Chris and his Ego]]''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he [[Dating education|magically dreams up his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to dealt with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions," Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading Sonichu, Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "Pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===

Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law. The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a misogynist has nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]
Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids in card games]] and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the internet, couldn't list any redeemable qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he [[The July 10th Messages|addressed a person named 'SonichuIzCool']] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''was'') probably the only genuine fan of Sonichu discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "[[naïve]] and [[slow in the mind]]". He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center terror attacks]]. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but he used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

===Chris cares only for himself===

Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]]}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans." He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===

[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]

Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try". Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===

* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.

See a trend here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===

Hell-bent on spreading his version of the truth because he's True and Honest, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing, so what's the problem?]]

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?

===Chris made himself an outcast===

High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the Dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction_sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The Game Place (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===

In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_21st,_2008|Crash Into Slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===

The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===

Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by [[Mimms|friends]] [[Lucas|who]] grew sick of his bullshit, and by [[Anna_McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home.

If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet.

If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS0kIavTfic real life trolls] at the mental hospital.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards [[Jerkops|legitimate]] [[Bagget|assertions]] [[B-Manajerk|of]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|authority]] as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris, and indeed others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#What other aspies think of Chris|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He's a paranoid fucktard who screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most recent big example of this. He hates being corrected, and will cling to his misinformation; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and Autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything at all, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, but slow to act as well; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the Sonichu comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later.''

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go; as the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

==Examples==

:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

[[Svenka]] is a counter-troll.

On 6 [[May 2009]], [[YouTube]] user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS.'''

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Parody

2010-03-20T14:01:45Z

Blusko: /* Why Sonichu is not a parody */

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to ''[[Sonichu 8]]''<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. If you put one of those doggy Halloween costumes of Yoda on a dog, he looks funny. That doesn't mean the dog is doing a parody of ''Star Wars''.

A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

In the United States, legally valid parodies are expected to demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> in order for the derivative work to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work"<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref>. The degree to which this must be shown differs from case to case but since ''Sonichu'' is lacking as a humorous or critical piece (as detailed above), there would be probably be a heavier onus on its creator to demonstrate this tenet. Chris would be very hard pressed to do so; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves go beyond following the typical cartoonish, good vs. evil mold of the orginal materials and employ storylines that full-on mirror their plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Legend of Link''). In fact, the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation,]] Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. By his logic, "Weird Al" Yankovic should be going around proclaiming himself the ONE TRUE CREATOR of "Eat It", as though the song holds the same station in pop music history as the original "Beat It".

The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. A ham-fisted message, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities", it's quite possible that he literally believes ED ''is'' a business.

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Most recently, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==He can't tell what parody is==
Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

More recently, as revealed in the [[Adult Swim posts]], he makes the same error. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==
While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his [[Sonichu (comic)|abomination]] by claiming "parody", he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "[[Trolls|troll works]]": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Funnily enough, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[Sonichu finale]] (an actual parody of ''Sonichu'')
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==Links to actual parodies==
*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Parody

2010-03-20T14:00:12Z

Blusko: /* Why Sonichu is not a parody */

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to ''[[Sonichu 8]]''<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. If you put one of those doggy Halloween costumes of Yoda on a dog, he looks funny. That doesn't mean the dog is doing a parody of ''Star Wars''.

A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

In the United States, legally valid parodies are expected to demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> in order for the derivative work to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work"<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref>. The degree to which this must be shown
differs from case to case but since ''Sonichu'' is lacking as a humorous or critical piece (as detailed above), there would be probably be a heavier onus on its creator to demonstrate this tenet. Chris would be very hard pressed to do so; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves go beyond following the typical cartoonish, good vs. evil mold of the orginal materials and employ storylines that full-on mirror their plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Legend of Link''). In fact, the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation,]] Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. By his logic, "Weird Al" Yankovic should be going around proclaiming himself the ONE TRUE CREATOR of "Eat It", as though the song holds the same station in pop music history as the original "Beat It".

The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. A ham-fisted message, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities", it's quite possible that he literally believes ED ''is'' a business.

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Most recently, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==He can't tell what parody is==
Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

More recently, as revealed in the [[Adult Swim posts]], he makes the same error. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==
While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his [[Sonichu (comic)|abomination]] by claiming "parody", he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "[[Trolls|troll works]]": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Funnily enough, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[Sonichu finale]] (an actual parody of ''Sonichu'')
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==Links to actual parodies==
*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Parody

2010-03-20T13:55:27Z

Blusko:

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to ''[[Sonichu 8]]''<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. If you put one of those doggy Halloween costumes of Yoda on a dog, he looks funny. That doesn't mean the dog is doing a parody of ''Star Wars''.

A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

In the United States, legally valid parodies are expected to demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> in order for the derivative work to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work"<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref>. The degree to which this must be demonstrated differs from case to case but since ''Sonichu'' is lacking as a humorous or critical piece (as detailed above), there would be probably be a heavier onus on its creator to demonstrate this tenet. Chris would be very hard pressed to do so; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves go beyond following the typical cartoonish, good vs. evil mold of the orginal materials and employ storylines that full-on mirror their plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Legend of Link''). In fact, the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation,]] Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. By his logic, "Weird Al" Yankovic should be going around proclaiming himself the ONE TRUE CREATOR of "Eat It", as though the song holds the same station in pop music history as the original "Beat It".

The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. A ham-fisted message, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities", it's quite possible that he literally believes ED ''is'' a business.

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Most recently, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==He can't tell what parody is==
Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

More recently, as revealed in the [[Adult Swim posts]], he makes the same error. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==
While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his [[Sonichu (comic)|abomination]] by claiming "parody", he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "[[Trolls|troll works]]": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Funnily enough, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[Sonichu finale]] (an actual parody of ''Sonichu'')
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==Links to actual parodies==
*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Parody

2010-03-20T13:45:45Z

Blusko: /* Why Sonichu is not a parody */

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to ''[[Sonichu 8]]''<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. If you put one of those doggy Halloween costumes of Yoda on a dog, he looks funny. That doesn't mean the dog is doing a parody of ''Star Wars''.

A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

In the United States, parodies are expected to demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> in order for the derivative work to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work"<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref>. The degree to which this must be demonstrated differs from case to case but since ''Sonichu'' is lacking as a humorous or critical piece (as detailed above), there would be probably be a heavier onus on its creator to demonstrate this tenet. Chris would be very hard pressed to do so; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves go beyond following the typical cartoonish, good vs. evil mold of the orginal materials and employ storylines that full-on mirror their plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Legend of Link''). In fact, the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation,]] Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. By his logic, "Weird Al" Yankovic should be going around proclaiming himself the ONE TRUE CREATOR of "Eat It", as though the song holds the same station in pop music history as the original "Beat It".

The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. A ham-fisted message, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities", it's quite possible that he literally believes ED ''is'' a business.

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Most recently, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==He can't tell what parody is==
Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

More recently, as revealed in the [[Adult Swim posts]], he makes the same error. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==
While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his [[Sonichu (comic)|abomination]] by claiming "parody", he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "[[Trolls|troll works]]": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Funnily enough, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[Sonichu finale]] (an actual parody of ''Sonichu'')
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==Links to actual parodies==
*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Parody

2010-03-20T12:35:14Z

Blusko: /* Why Sonichu is not a parody */

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to ''[[Sonichu 8]]''<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. If you put one of those doggy Halloween costumes of Yoda on a dog, he looks funny. That doesn't mean the dog is doing a parody of ''Star Wars''.

A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

In the United States, parodies are expected to demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> in order for the derivative work to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work"<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref>. The degree to which this must be demonstrated differs from case to case but since ''Sonichu'' is lacking as a humorous or critical piece (as detailed above), there would be probably be a heavier onus on its creator to demonstrate this tenet. Chris would be very hard pressed to do so; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves go beyond following the typical cartoonish, good vs. evil mold of the orginal materials and employ storylines that full-on mirror their plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Legend of Link''). In fact, the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where and unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation,]] Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. By his logic, "Weird Al" Yankovic should be going around proclaiming himself the ONE TRUE CREATOR of "Eat It", as though the song holds the same station in pop music history as the original "Beat It".

The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. A ham-fisted message, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities", it's quite possible that he literally believes ED ''is'' a business.

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Most recently, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==He can't tell what parody is==
Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

More recently, as revealed in the [[Adult Swim posts]], he makes the same error. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==
While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his [[Sonichu (comic)|abomination]] by claiming "parody", he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "[[Trolls|troll works]]": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Funnily enough, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[Sonichu finale]] (an actual parody of ''Sonichu'')
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==Links to actual parodies==
*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Parody

2010-03-20T12:34:28Z

Blusko: /* Why Sonichu is not a parody */

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to ''[[Sonichu 8]]''<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. If you put one of those doggy Halloween costumes of Yoda on a dog, he looks funny. That doesn't mean the dog is doing a parody of ''Star Wars''.

A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

In the United States, parodies are expected to demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> in order for the derivative work to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work"<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref>. The degree to which this must be demonstrated differs from case to case but since ''Sonichu'' is lacking as a humorous or critical piece (as detailed above), there would be probably be a heavier onus on its creator to demonstrate this tenet. Chris would be very hard pressed to do so; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves go beyond following the typical cartoonish, good vs. evil mold of the orginal materials and employ storylines that full-on mirror their plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Legend of Link''}. In fact, the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where and unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation,]] Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. By his logic, "Weird Al" Yankovic should be going around proclaiming himself the ONE TRUE CREATOR of "Eat It", as though the song holds the same station in pop music history as the original "Beat It".

The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. A ham-fisted message, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities", it's quite possible that he literally believes ED ''is'' a business.

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Most recently, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==He can't tell what parody is==
Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

More recently, as revealed in the [[Adult Swim posts]], he makes the same error. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==
While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his [[Sonichu (comic)|abomination]] by claiming "parody", he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "[[Trolls|troll works]]": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Funnily enough, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[Sonichu finale]] (an actual parody of ''Sonichu'')
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==Links to actual parodies==
*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Parody

2010-03-20T12:33:16Z

Blusko: /* Why Sonichu is not a parody */

{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to ''[[Sonichu 8]]''<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}

{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]

'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny.

In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.

For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.

==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]

The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago.

Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. If you put one of those doggy Halloween costumes of Yoda on a dog, he looks funny. That doesn't mean the dog is doing a parody of ''Star Wars''.

A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article.

In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different.

In the United States, parodies are expected to demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> in order for the derivative work to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work."<ref>http://www.publaw.com/parody.html</ref>. The degree to which this must be demonstrated differs from case to case but since ''Sonichu'' is lacking as a humorous or critical piece (as detailed above), there would be probably be a heavier onus on its creator to demonstrate this tenet. Chris would be very hard pressed to do so; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves go beyond following the typical cartoonish, good vs. evil mold of the orginal materials and employ storylines that full-on mirror their plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Legend of Link''}. In fact, the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where and unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].

Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation,]] Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."

The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. By his logic, "Weird Al" Yankovic should be going around proclaiming himself the ONE TRUE CREATOR of "Eat It", as though the song holds the same station in pop music history as the original "Beat It".

The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. A ham-fisted message, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities", it's quite possible that he literally believes ED ''is'' a business.

Further demonstrating Chris' ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.

But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.

==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==

On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered.

When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life.

By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8).

Most recently, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.

==He can't tell what parody is==
Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).

More recently, as revealed in the [[Adult Swim posts]], he makes the same error. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.

==Hypocrisy==
While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his [[Sonichu (comic)|abomination]] by claiming "parody", he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "[[Trolls|troll works]]": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Funnily enough, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.

==See also==
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[Sonichu finale]] (an actual parody of ''Sonichu'')
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==Links to actual parodies==
*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]