CWCki - User contributions [en]

Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley

2016-06-01T16:41:05Z

Boomhauer: Starting from here, a lot of Chris's recent videos need editing.

'''Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley''' is the first (and only) video produced by Chris as a result of an [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|e-begging campaign]] in which he offered to make videos for people who donated $50 to him. However, midway through the short video, Chris lets us know that [https://kiwifar.ms/members/karen-riley.7657/ Karen Riley], a [[boyfriend-free girl|21-year old female]] member of [[Kiwi Farms]], didn't donate to Chris at all. Presumably the video was made to get her attention.

Chris also reprises Christmas songs from earlier videos, including [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|''Sleigh Ride'']], [[Jungle bells|''Jungle Bells'']] and [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|''You're a Mean One, Mr. Trump'']].

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2nKR9GwgQzM}}
| stardate = 25 [[December 2015]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = [[Christmas]], {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Sonic Rainboom
| previous = [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!]]
| next = [[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement.]]
}}

== Transcription ==

(''in a sing-song bouncy rhythm'') Here is a special Christmas dedication to Karen Riley. [''vaguely waves phone''] Hello, Karen! You lookin' fiiine, I saw your picture. And I do this video just for you! Didn't owe me a - [ ''shrugs''] dime? Da-da-da-da-da. I dunno, I got Camptown Ladies in my - stuck in my head right now. Oh well, let's do a song. Um... (''humming, then singing'') come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with lovely weather... jungle bells, Tarzan smells, George of the jungle, swinging through the forest vine to vine, watch out for that tree. Woo! Missed the tree. (''laughs, then hums and sings again'') Ba-dip-a-dup-a-deep-da. You're a mean one, Mr. Trump, you have the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile... I'd take the seasick crocodile over Mr. Trump and the Grinch. [''checks phone''] But special holiday greetings to you, Karen, hope you have a happy and safe one, make it everything that you want. Thank you very much.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[$50 for a video holiday greeting!]]|nextlink=[[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement.]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Donations Please Plus Live Stream Tonight

2016-05-25T09:35:30Z

Boomhauer: Redirected page to Announcement 05/23/2016

#REDIRECT [[Announcement 05/23/2016]]

Power

2016-05-01T21:19:26Z

Boomhauer: What?

{{quote|I am strong. I can lift my office chair in my room over my head, even with a moderately heavy object in the seat. The chair alone is Heavy.|Chris to [[Vanessa AIM Chat 6|Vanessa]]}}

'''Power''' is a file, published by [[The Miscreants]], in which [[Chris]] performs various dubious feats of strength. Chris gave these files to [[Joshua Martinez]] to give to [[Vanessa Hudgens]] to meet her request for a "test of strength" as part of her audition process. The .zip includes three videos, an audio file and a "special thanks" document. It was published along with [[CWCFlyingElephants]] on 27 [[April 2009]].

==Videos==
===StrongCWC1===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Power
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xKU3kt3dx7Q}}
| stardate = 27 April 2009
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[I Got A Fish]]
| next = [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:He-Chan.jpg|thumb|right|BY THE POWER OF NUMBSKULL!]]
[''Chris stands in the middle of [[Chris's room|his bedroom]], with [[Muscle bra|no shirt on]], and the [[Gitar of Fail]] in his right arm. He proceeds to hold it above his head dramatically before thrusting it forward, causing his man-breasts to [[Obesity|jiggle noticeably]].'']

'''I HAAAVE THE POWEEERRRR! FEEL MY WRATH!'''

[''Chris then lowers the Gitar and performs a retarded "guitar solo" on it, namely by wiggling the whammy bar and screeching.'']

===StrongCWC2===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Power
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MEDjSTt9DcQ}}
| stardate = 27 April 2009
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[I Got A Fish]]
| next = [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris stands in the same spot as before, albeit now with a swivel chair in front of him. He [[I AM STRONG|flexes]] his jelly-like arms'']

''(Spoken in voiceover)'' We will now be watching the strong man, lifting a '''very heavy''' ''office chair''. Note: the chair [[WeighIn|weighs a ''grand'' number of ''pounds''.]]

[''crouches and lifts up the chair, albeit with considerable effort'']

Ahhhhh! Ta-da! '''FEEL MY WRATH!'''

[''puts the chair back down'']

===StrongCWCPower===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Power
| video = {{#ev:youtube|F-LpHK0GWjA}}
| stardate = 27 April 2009
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[I Got A Fish]]
| next = [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Much like before, Chris stands in front of the chair, again flexing in an attempt to look tough. However, there is now a plastic basket filled with what appears to be books placed on the chair as well'']

''(Spoken in voiceover)'' Now we will be seeing the strong man lifting ''the same chair'', but with a '''very heavy''' basket full of junk in the chair.

[''bends down to pick up the chair, giving us a view of his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear and ass crack]] in the process. He struggles to lift the chair, and spills a good portion of what appears to be books in the process'']

'''HHHNGG [[random access humor|I ONCE KNEW A MAN FROM NANTUCKET!!''']]

[''puts the chair back down very quickly'']

==See also==
* [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
* [[I AM STRONG]]
* [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'LL SEND EVERYTHING IN MY '''POWER!''']]
* [[Prower]]

==External links==

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Got A Fish]]|nextlink=[[CWCFlyingElephants]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Trolling]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-27]]

Autism

2016-04-24T00:55:52Z

Boomhauer:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|'''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|[[Chris]], on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble 9.5]]}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED.|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff|exposing Jeff]].}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but it has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

Christian Weston Chandler has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

{{quote|He may be high functioning (which I actually doubt -- who would want to admit to thousands of strangers that they are actually severely challenged??), but that does not mean he can function like a non-mentally challenged person.|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150503081114/http://www.cracked.com/funny-3956-chris-chan/|rae12, Cracked.com]}}

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are for the most part his own fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame (other than the elderly [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]) for Chris's sudden loss of language development. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child, as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g. throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the Universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's tactful and sensitive comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls (of both sexes) pretending to be female sweethearts, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approached him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref>

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish, possibly because he copied it from [[My Little Pony|actual cartoons]]. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13-year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them, even though the two don't even have the same skin colour.

*[[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. In his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde, his advice after the suicide of Clyde's brother [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing platonic relationships. Many non-autistic people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He is also uninterested in talking about subjects besides himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and the organization of elements bordering OCD. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He was prohibited from attending pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise.

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PlayStation 3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]—where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

*An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]], which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]]—as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly. This condition is also linked to [[speech impediment]].

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.
[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in Super Smash Bros.]]
Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community.]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the Internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Over what?
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Over your autism?
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> yes
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> . . .
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Christian
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Are you serious?
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Autism is not influenza
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You don't 'get over it'
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''". A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]] when in reality many much lower functioning autistics lead far more independent and fulfilling lives than he does. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can therefore be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel;" that is to say, it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window into hell."

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* <s>[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* <s>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110915021331/http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site." Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Autism

2016-04-24T00:55:34Z

Boomhauer: Undo revision 197273 by Boomhauer (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|'''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|[[Chris]], on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble 9.5]]}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED.|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff|exposing Jeff]].}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but it has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

Christian Weston Chandler has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

{{quote|He may be high functioning (which I actually doubt -- who would want to admit to thousands of strangers that they are actually severely challenged??), but that does not mean he can function like a non-mentally challenged person.|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150503081114/http://www.cracked.com/funny-3956-chris-chan/|rae12, Cracked.com]}}

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are for the most part his own fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame (other than the elderly [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]) for Chris's sudden loss of language development. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child, as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g. throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the Universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's tactful and sensitive comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls (of both sexes) pretending to be female sweethearts, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approached him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref>

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish, possibly because he copied it from [[My Little Pony|actual cartoons]]. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13-year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them, even though the two don't even have the same skin colour.

*[[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. In his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde, his advice after the suicide of Clyde's brother [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing platonic relationships. Many non-autistic people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He is also uninterested in talking about subjects besides himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and the organization of elements bordering OCD. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He was prohibited from attending pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise.

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PlayStation 3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]—where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

*An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]], which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]]—as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly. This condition is also linked to [[speech impediment]].

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.
[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in Super Smash Bros.]]
Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community.]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the Internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Over what?
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Over your autism?
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> yes
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> . . .
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Christian
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Are you serious?
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Autism is not influenza
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You don't 'get over it'
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''". A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]] when in reality many much lower functioning autistics lead far more independent and fulfilling lives than he does. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can therefore be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel;" that is to say, it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window into hell."

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* <s>[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* <s>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110915021331/http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site." Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Autism

2016-04-24T00:54:48Z

Boomhauer:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|I am Sometimes Retarded.|[[Chris]], on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble 9.5]]}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED.|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff|exposing Jeff]].}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but it has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

Christian Weston Chandler has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

{{quote|He may be high functioning (which I actually doubt -- who would want to admit to thousands of strangers that they are actually severely challenged??), but that does not mean he can function like a non-mentally challenged person.|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150503081114/http://www.cracked.com/funny-3956-chris-chan/|rae12, Cracked.com]}}

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are for the most part his own fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame (other than the elderly [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]) for Chris's sudden loss of language development. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child, as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g. throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the Universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's tactful and sensitive comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls (of both sexes) pretending to be female sweethearts, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approached him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref>

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish, possibly because he copied it from [[My Little Pony|actual cartoons]]. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13-year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them, even though the two don't even have the same skin colour.

*[[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. In his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde, his advice after the suicide of Clyde's brother [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing platonic relationships. Many non-autistic people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He is also uninterested in talking about subjects besides himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and the organization of elements bordering OCD. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He was prohibited from attending pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise.

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PlayStation 3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]—where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

*An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]], which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]]—as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly. This condition is also linked to [[speech impediment]].

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.
[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in Super Smash Bros.]]
Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community.]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the Internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Over what?
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Over your autism?
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> yes
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> . . .
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Christian
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Are you serious?
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Autism is not influenza
:<font color="#CD5555">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You don't 'get over it'
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''</font> I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''". A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]] when in reality many much lower functioning autistics lead far more independent and fulfilling lives than he does. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can therefore be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel;" that is to say, it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window into hell."

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* <s>[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* <s>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110915021331/http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site." Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Announcement 04/16/2016

2016-04-17T16:32:51Z

Boomhauer:

'''Announcement 04/16/2016''' is a video [[Chris]] streamed on April 16, 2016 in which he launches Sonichu Entertainment of America, a new scheme where Chris would pay other people to make Sonichu crap for sale, because Chris is too lazy to make his own merch. Chris's [[hair]] is also seen to have finally receded to the point of no return, despite his [[Tomgirl|growing it out]] extending its lifespan by a few years; at this rate, Chris may go completely bald by his mid-30's.

==Description==
{{Quotebox|Submit resumes and uploaded video responses to anightinchristine@gmail.com.

This is the Official YouTube channel of the one and only creator and author of the Sonichu and Rosechu series, Christine Weston Chandler (AKA Christian, Christopher, Chris Chan, Ricardo); me. Links to my personal Facebook and Twitter pages, as well as my stores of Sonichu and Rosechu, and self, merchandise are available for purchase. Among which, more items are to come in the future, so stay tuned for the updates when I make them personally.
}}

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Announcement 04/16/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HvlxLfyGOws}}
| stardate = 16 [[April 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Striped shirt with blue sweater vest
| previous = [[Please, Donate‎‎]]
| next =
}}
</center>
==Transcript==

{{Transcription}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Announcement 04/16/2016

2016-04-17T16:32:46Z

Boomhauer:

Announcement 04/16/2016

2016-04-17T16:32:35Z

Boomhauer:

'''Announcement 04/16/2016''' is a video [[Chris]] streamed on April 16, 2016 in which he launches Sonichu Entertainment of America, a new scheme where Chris would pay other people to make Sonichu crap for sale, because Chris is too lazy to make his own merch. Chris's [[hair]] is also seen to have finally receded to the point of no return, despite his [[Tomgirl|growing it out]] extending its lifespan by a few years; at this rate, Chris may go completely bald by his mid-30's.

Another note is Chris's new email address, ''anightinchristine@gmail.com'', which has some [[Sex|certain]] connotations.

==Description==
{{Quotebox|Submit resumes and uploaded video responses to anightinchristine@gmail.com.

This is the Official YouTube channel of the one and only creator and author of the Sonichu and Rosechu series, Christine Weston Chandler (AKA Christian, Christopher, Chris Chan, Ricardo); me. Links to my personal Facebook and Twitter pages, as well as my stores of Sonichu and Rosechu, and self, merchandise are available for purchase. Among which, more items are to come in the future, so stay tuned for the updates when I make them personally.
}}

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Announcement 04/16/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HvlxLfyGOws}}
| stardate = 16 [[April 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Striped shirt with blue sweater vest
| previous = [[Please, Donate‎‎]]
| next =
}}
</center>
==Transcript==

{{Transcription}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Crumple-Lope

2016-04-15T02:24:14Z

Boomhauer:

{{stub}}
[[File:Crumple-lope.jpg|right|thumb|A scanned image of the Crumple-Lope.]]
The '''Crumple-Lope''' is, well, a crumpled and yellowed manilla envelope. Kept within the [[Scrapbook of Fail]], inside the envelope resides the remains of the original [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>, as well as several other "shamed past relationship art works."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> Given the description, this could've likely meant the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' Specials ([[Sonichu Special 1]], [[Wedding Comic]], [[Giant Penis Comic]], [[Sonichu Special 4]]), the [[Cherokian Clan#UNGA WUNGA|"UNGA-WUNGA" drawings]], and many more, all of which were torn up for good measure.

The Crumple-Lope showed Chris's willingness to act out his anger on [[Lil Chris|in]][[Sign Destruction Video|animate]] [[September 2013 Facebook Posts|objects]], but inability of throwing anything out (inherited from [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]]).

As of November 19th 2015, the scrapbook had been revealed to have survived the fire, bringing joy to Sonichu [[Kiwi Farms|fans]] everywhere, who had previously thought the artifact to have been destroyed. Whether the Crumple-Lope survived from within is unclear and yet to be known.
==References==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Megan Saga]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Scale of Respect

2016-04-12T00:15:20Z

Boomhauer: Why is this even here?

{{Stub}}

{{quote|1=I'll consider [[Chris and sex|knocking you and Susan up]] my '''scale of Respect''' each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).|2=Chris<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2004-2006]]</ref>}}

The '''Scale of Respect''' is a fine example of [[Chris]] using [[video game]] terminology to describe his feelings towards other people due to his lack of social interaction. It was mentioned in a [[2004]] e-mail to [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

[[Autism|Autistics]] tend to view the world in absolute values. Since they have trouble expressing subtle differences with such intangible concepts as "respect", Chris might be putting the differences of respect between, say, a schoolteacher to a [[pedofork|pedophile]], in literal physical terms that he's familiar with to better understand the concept. While even small children don't resort to such retardation, instead learning about it through "give and take", it boggles the mind that even in his twenties, he still clings to this system of treating respect as if it were rungs on a ladder.

While sociologists have done surveys, made graphs, and written papers to find out which professions the average [[United States of America|American]] feel the most respect for (The top 3 being [[Minor Family Members#David_Chandler|Doctor]], [[Bob Chandler|Soldier]] and [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Teacher]], in that order), it's difficult to say which person you have more respect for when things like authority are taken into account, because one respects authority (or at least pretends to) out of survival. According to Chris's "Scale of Respect," things like authority aren't even considered, meaning that he can't differentiate between the concepts of "respect" and "authority" or understand that the two often blend together. This is likely the reason for his troubles with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], whom at the time of her run in with Chris was the Dean of Student Affairs, giving her authority over student activities, including the ability to forbid pathetic man-children from employing [[Attraction Sign|retarded]] [[Red String of Fate|methods]] of attracting attention from the opposite sex. Chris also believes that [[Chris and his Ego|his "respect"]] is valid to use as a bargaining chip during [[Chris and negotiation|negotiation]].

==References==
<references/>
==See also==
*[[Heart level]]
*[[Third date]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

April 2016

2016-04-11T14:23:54Z

Boomhauer: Congrats on being a freeman, Chris!

{{Ongoing}}

April is the fourth month of 2016.

==Events==
* 5 April - Chris uploads video [[My Breast Massage Routine 18+]] and [[Happy Birthday, Martin.]]
* 11 April - Chris's [[26 December 2014|probation]] expired.

{{Timeline}}

26 December 2014

2016-04-10T20:55:35Z

Boomhauer:

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|[[It's UGH!|Ugh!!!]] I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!|[[Chris]]'s justification for his actions.}}
{{clear}}
[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|A [[wikipedia:Orange Is the New Black|hit new]] show [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|rocking]] the [[Netflix]] [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

'''26 December 2014''' was a truly notorious day in Chris's life, and his most action-packed since he [[Graduation|graduated high school]]. Essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again, Chris was [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]] once more for [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] at [[The GAMe PLACe|a video game store]], this time with pepper spray<ref>[https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1424389574456&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Virginia general court records]</ref>. The attack was the culmination of his months-long [[Sonic Boom Protests|crusade]] to change the arm color of a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|cartoon hedgehog]]. On 15 [[October 2015]] he was finally found guilty of a misdemeanor charge, and received a six-month suspended sentence and a $541 fine.

==Synopsis==
[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris, seconds before the assault.]]
By the time of his arrest, Chris had already been engaging in various [[Sonic Boom Protests|acts of protest]], mainly vandalism, in an attempt to force merchants to stop selling Sonic Boom. As a result, he had already been banned from every GameStop within driving distance of his [[Rental House|temporary home]]. Nevertheless, on the day after Christmas, on a trip to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with his mother, Chris visited the GameStop outlet. While he claimed it was to purchase some ''Skylanders'' merchandise, it doesn't really matter what possessed him to go there; staff said they'd already caught him vandalizing Sonic Boom merchandise and had been on the lookout for him, as he was already banned from the store. Furthermore, knowing Chris's penchant for lying unconvincingly, committing further acts of vandalism may indeed have been his real agenda that day. Whatever the truth, he entered the store wearing a pair of purple [[My Little Pony]]-[[Chris and brand loyalty|branded]] [[Chris and fashion|sunglasses designed for little girls]], apparently as a [[Honor roll|disguise]]. Naturally, he still stuck out like a sore thumb. After arguing with staff, he strode towards the store entrance, commanding the staff "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" Just before he left, he brandished a pink can of pepper spray, and sprayed the assistant manager (or "[[CWCism|Ass Manager]]," as Chris would later call him). The employee was later confirmed to be unharmed, although he did leave work after the incident.

Most of the information on what happened in the next hour comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner (below), and details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris returned to his car and left the mall. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking [[Kaka Makeup Basics|JCPenney]] and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police talked with Barbara, who was still at the mall, eating, which implies that Chris left his elderly mother behind, without a car to get home. Barb had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car. Chris was arrested on the same day, at home.

On 28 December, a member of [[Kiwi Farms]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. A followup call from a [[4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the GameStop's assistant manager would be pressing charges. After his weekend in jail, Chris was charged with his Class 6 felony, posted the $2500 bail, and was released on recognizance.

==monozettai's Account==
[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.]]
[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]
The Internet learned of the above drama when Tumblr user "monozettai" uploaded an on-the-scene video (below).<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip, Chris, clad in full [[tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by macing a man who is clearly not threatening Chris in any way. It later became viral and one of the most-viewed videos in Christory. Notably, Chris did nothing to get the video taken down, presumably being aware of the [[wikipedia:Streisand effect|Streisand effect]].

After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say:

{{quoteboxred|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

<br>After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color,” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

==Chris's Account==
[[File:Ween13.png|thumb|right|250px|[[Chris and Reality|Oh, really?]]]]
{{quote|[[Lie|I WAS the Victim]]|Chris, meeting everyone's expectations}}
Immediately after his release from the pokey, Chris rushed to his keyboard to perform damage control. Not surprisingly, he refused to admit any fault. Bizarrely, while he claimed ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, he also admitted that he had sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident. He also tried to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[trolls|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see. Even his [[white knights]] condemned his actions. It seemed that this time around, everyone was against him.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]]

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and [[Sensory Overload|mentally overloaded]], I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

==The Charges==
[[File:ChrisGameStopFull.png|thumb|left|Chris' charges]]
This was the case against Chris, according to the [https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1434991317603&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Albermarle General District Court].

{{quotebox|CHARGE: DANGEROUS GAS UNLAWFUL RELEASE (§ 18.2-312. Illegal use of tear gas, phosgene and other gases.) "If any person maliciously release or cause or procure to be released in any private home, place of business or place of public gathering any tear gas, mustard gas, phosgene gas or other noxious or nauseating gases or mixtures of chemicals designed to, and capable of, producing vile or injurious or nauseating odors or gases, and bodily injury results to any person from such gas or odor, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony.

"If such act be done unlawfully, but not maliciously, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony."<ref>Code of Virginia: http://leg1.state.va.us/000/src.htm</ref>}}

For a Class 6 felony conviction, Virginia sentencing guidelines recommend 1-5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2,500,<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM]</ref> in addition to all the other corresponding losses he'd experience as a registered felon.

The 6th Degree version under the Virginia tear gas law is for cases in which the tear gassing was done "unlawfully, but not maliciously." Chris was fortunate to avoid the Class 3 felony version of the charge, which deals with malicious intent, and carries a much stiffer penalty of 5-20 years and up to a $100,000 fine. The law allowed Chris to plea down to misdemeanor-level assault and battery and be given a suspended sentence, with probation, counseling, anger management and/or community service in lieu of jail time. Ultimately, this is essentially how it turned out.

Having squandered [[Bob]]'s inheritance on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris was forced this time around to work with a public defender.

==Chris Returns to the Front==
On 3 [[January 2015]], an e-mail leaked onto Kiwi Farms exposed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at [[Wal-Mart]] on that date, and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed by Chris himself, who indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "[[Chris and his ego|badass]]." This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceived himself as invincible so long as he could issue credible threats. Was it possible that Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability, previously confined to the comics, had [[Chris and reality|seeped into his conscious psyche]]?

On 11 January, Chris posted the following to his Facebook account, once again painting himself as the victim and wishing that people would like him, despite his past actions. He argued that ''nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun''. The post also addresses the completely unrelated issue regarding Chris's sexual identity.

{{quotebox|Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious.
I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension.

I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them.
All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone.
And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there),
then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place.
It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them.

And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet,
as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief.

Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life;
Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the [[Death|deaths]] of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun.
"Look out, she's going for her mace!"
"What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?"

And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction.

And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong.

And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either.

Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One.

Good Day. }}

==Subsequent court hearings==
[[File:Hearing schedule.png|left|thumb|400px|Chris's hearing schedule.]]
Chris had seven hearings related to this case, stretching into the autumn of 2015, before finally receiving a conviction.<ref>https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1434991317603&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003</ref> His fans were frustrated at the slow pace of justice.

===29 December Hearing===
At the video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the next hearing), Chris was released on bond. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge had placed a no-contact order on Chris as part of his bail conditions.<ref>[[January 2015 Facebook posts#A No-Contact Order Apparently Goes Both Ways]]</ref>

===5 February Hearing===
[[File:CWCtrial.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barb leaving the courthouse after their 5 February hearing.]]
His next hearing took place on 5 February. It was decidedly brief, as the Chandlers appeared to have been assigned an unsuitable representative, and another hearing in April was scheduled. According to two Virginian Christorians in attendance, little of note happened except Chris and Barb forgetting the date of the next hearing and thereby pissing off the court by holding up the next case. Footage was taken of Chris and Barb leaving court, the first appearance Barb has made in Christorical media for almost two years.

Zeonista's account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-16#post-527528]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|I sat in the back of the courtroom, since I was trying really hard to be inconspicuous, but as a result of that it was hard for me to hear much of anything. I can't give you much in the way of specific dialogue... Rammspieler (at least, the person I believe was him) had a better vantage point, so expect more from him there.

Anyway, Chris WAS wearing women's clothes, but didn't look like as much of a disaster as usual. He was wearing a black cardigan and long dark-blue skirt with white stripes, along with dark-blue leggings and a pair of tan boots. His hair still looked pretty terrible, pretty much the same as it was in his mugshot. Barb was with him, wearing what looked like a red wool coat.

Chris looked pretty nervous while he was waiting for things to get started. He was fidgeting a lot and kept leaning over to ask her questions. I'm pretty sure I heard him ask "Do you think we should tell them about our troll problems?" once, which made me smile inside.

They called Chris up pretty quickly - his case was one of the first ones to go through. Naturally, even though there were 2 or 3 female PDs in the courtroom, Chris got the one BRUTE MALE of the lot. He was summoned as "Mr. Chandler," which I doubt he liked much. I heard the PD make a brief comment about Chris' appearance, but didn't hear exactly what was said.

The PD, Chris, and the judge spoke with each other for about 2 minutes, and eventually the ruling was for a continuation on April 2nd. The two of them left the courtroom, only to come back in about a minute or two later, with Chris chiding his mother. "What were you thinking, Barbara Ann?" I guess Barb had already forgotten the date of the next hearing, or maybe she thought they needed to come back later in the day for something. Anyway, she and Chris spoke to the PD for another minute or two. I heard the PD say this to them: "I said you're free to go... Yes, it's April 2nd. April 2nd, I can write that down for you if you want." He looked just a little annoyed, because even this short exchange was enough to hold things up. Chris and Barb were blocking the middle of the courtroom while this was happening, and the judge had to ask them to move out of the way so the next guy up could get through.

The two of them left a little while later. All Chris had to say on his way out was "Welp," accompanied by a stress sigh.}}

Rammspieler's write-up:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-22#post-528260]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|
Despite the continuance of the case until April 2nd, I'm glad to have been there and have been in the presence of Manbaby and Barb themselves. I wish I was a better videographer/photographer and had taken better shots of them, all I got was a video of them leaving court as well as a video of 14 BC.

I'm also glad that Zeonista posted and filled in for the details I wasn't able to pick up on. But the truth is that it was a very "active" courtroom and everybody was moving around and whispering to each other, so it is possible that I may have misheard some things.

Anyway, I got there like at 8:50 and after taking off my fucking studded belt and fishing keys out of my pocket to pass the metal detector, I finally sat myself down in the courtroom. But still no sign of Chris. In fact, I was almost expecting him to be a no show. I started jotting down my notes and everything, when I look up, wondering of he wasn't coming, when I hear close to me a VERY FAMILIAR VOICE. I look to my right, and sitting in the bench in front of meat the very end of it, I saw him. My face just lit up and I knew right then and there that the trip was worth it. This is the closest thing I'll ever experience to having met a movie star is basically my sentiment. And right in front of me was a woman whom at first I thought was either his attorney or even Rocky Shoemaker. I was wondering whom she was for the longest until, his PD showed up and asked to speak with her son. So confirmed Snorlax. Also, he didn't seem to be too pleased with the PD referring to him as male.

I can confirm what Zeonista saw and heard and indeed he was in full tomgirl attire. Ridiculous blue eyeshadow and all. Barb's red overcoat was covered in animal fur so I guess they must have pets. I can also confirm his constant sighing and nervousness. He couldn't stop shaking his leg. He also bore the same expression that he was wearing for his mugshot. He was obviously Stressed and displeased! There was even a moment when he kinda turned around and looked at me with what seemed to be suspicion. Was I that obvious? The guy with the faux vintage Star Wars Episode IV Hong Kong movie poster shirt and the notepad, writing down everything?

Like I said, it was a relatively noisy courtroom, so I couldn't catch the gist of most of the whispering. But I did catch him asking Barb that the PD and the judge should be made aware of the "troll problem". Like Zeonista, I couldn't help but smile. But he then went on in what seemed to be a rant about misogyny and misogynists. I guess he was hoping that the MALE judge wouldn't be such. What really called my attention was the way they carried on. If you didn't know they were mother and son, you could swear that they looked like a really creepy Cougar/Cub romantic relationship. The way they held each others backs, to him telling her "I love you". I was also able to notice that he was wearing a graduation ring. I guess from his high school? I couldn't make out the letters, but the stone was purple. He then said something about hoping that "he wasn't a chicken" and Barb replied that "he" won't be. I guess they were talking about the lawyer. Speaking of...

The PD was this handsome, lean dude in his mid to late 20's. Had curly hair and a trimmed beard. If you took off his suit and left his glasses on, he would make a great hipster at some microbrewery. The reason why I at first assumed that they hired him was because I noticed in Chris' Lego notebook a business card with a written phone number and the name of what looked to be "Max Rippoli" I knew it was Italian and the judge did utter a similar surname when telling Chris that said person couldn't defend him. The first name was definitely "Max" though. Barb's advice for Chris when in the Stand was to stand up straight and smile. Anyway, once the judge granted the continuance, I took that as my cue to leave and stand by to take visuals. So while I was outside, turning my phone on and trying to get the camera to work was when Zeonista witnessed what took place after I left and before they left.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Barb coming out of court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPhK5X_Fmko}}
| stardate = 5 [[February 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===2 April Hearing===
[[File:Cwcap.png|thumb|Chris entering court on April 2.]]
Chris began to attend his hearings alone, and reportedly seemed more nervous than in the last hearing. It began 20 minutes early and was over within minutes. In fact Chris left the courtroom before Christorians made it through security, so no one knows what, if anything, actually happened inside. What is known is that Chris was granted another continuance, and the next hearing was scheduled for 7 May. The account from forum member lipitor:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chriseater-2-the-fanta-pain.8709/page-6#post-633790]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|We got down here took some pics of Christorical locations, those will come later. So we're heading to the courthouse and decide to stop at mcdonalds on the way (not the ruckersville one across from walmart), because it was on 29 toward c-ville. As we pull in we see a blue ford focus with the license plate "Sonichu". Brand new-ish too. Probably nicer than my car. It totally looked more like a decepticon than an autobot just for the record. My bud decides well, guess im going in for coffee. I stayed in the car. I'll let him tell you what he saw in there. I was sitting in the car when he came out. He was wearing those stupid my little pony sunglasses carrying two cups of coffee. He had a black cardigan thing on I think, but what was more noticable was his striped dress, it looked like someone stole the curtains from a freshman girl's dorm room and sewed it together haphazardly. It gave him noticable trouble when walking. He was wearing some type of lace up boots that were sort of high heels but not really, probably didnt help with the walking. He didn't seem to realize that in a dress his gait couldnt stride as wide and kept almost falling over and stumbling when his feet landed. Barb was strangely absent. He fucked around his car and went for the trunk. He pulled out one of those things for wiping your windshield, looked stolen from a gas station. I dont think he did anything with it just took it out and fumbled with it, put it back.

HeyyyJackiepie came out just as he was getting back in his car. We tried to lose him, but ended up taking turns following each other. Chris swerved out of the way of a crow in the street without looking into another lane. We just drove up to the crow like normal people and it flew away last minute, like they always do. We tried to lose him continually or at least tried to trail or get ahead of him but we were like right next to each other the same time. We took a wrong turn and lost him. We found a spot where you are actually allowed to park near the courthouse. (see Heyyyjackiepie's comment if you want to get that joke). He parked in nearly the same spot he did last time. He just sat there in his car, seemed like he was playing a game on his phone or some shit. He sat in there for nearly 30 minutes. We wanted to go in after him so we just waited in front of the door. From behind me I hear a string of like 9 stress sighs in a row. I turn around to see him. He had removed the MLP glasses and wore his normal ones now. Could see he was wearing nearly the same tights he did last time. We gave it a minute so he could go in and sit down. We go in there and he's just standing there at the metal detector. He had so much fucking jewelry to remove. like bracelets and necklaces it took forever for him to get them off. The clerk at the metal detector rolled his eyes at him while he was doing it. After he got done he just sat down in a chair in front of the court room but not in it. He was stress sighing and looking around nervously. God he really does stress sigh a lot. With great self discipline I was able to restrain my laughter. He looks more like a nerdy kid than woman or tranny up close. He looks like a teenager whose trying out an outlandish style for attention, but not totally confident in it or aware of what style is.

Anyway he finally fucking got up and went in and we went throught the metal detectors. By the time we got through I had just opened the court room door, he was coming back out and we almost bumped into each other. He said apologetically "well, got that out of the way quick" and dashed out the door to the courtroom. This was like 30 minutes before his hearing so we didnt know what to make of that. He had noticed us so we didn't know if he was trying to dodge us or what. So we just sat down and boring court stuff happened for like 10 or so minutes. We ended up leaving cuz it was clear he wasnt coming back. We saw he was still in his car. We walked around the building once and he was gone. We went back in to see if anything would be said about him, but they said nothing. Must have been a continuance. Chris is definitely not gonna have an outburst though guys. He's super nervous, maybe thats just cuz barb wasnt there I don't know.}}

The skinny according to heyyyJackiePie:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chriseater-2-the-fanta-pain.8709/page-6#post-633832]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|Girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages,
This is my account of what happened today. First thing’s first: Chris was granted a continuance according to the Charlottesville General District Court website. We were unable to confirm what happened when we were there, but we will explain. But, although we didn’t actually observe Chris being called up in Court in front of the judge, we had multiple sightings of Chris and some pictures and a video which will be upload this evening. This is really long and contains several details, but I’d rather tell you guys everything that happened.

The day started out with a visit to the Ruckersville McDonalds where we captured some pictures of the nearby Wal-Mart, and Burger King – yes, the one Bob had breakfast at every day. We have plenty of pictures and videos with multiple angles and went inside for a coffee. It’s a small McDonalds and quite modern. There were a group of old men gathered around talking which seemed to be a regular meet up. I wonder if Bob had a similar group of friends at Burger King?

We continued down 29 and stopped by 14 Branchland and took multiple pictures from multiple angles. The house no longer has that red front like it used to so it wasn’t what I expected. In the “driveway” Barb’s Z-3 had a tarp half way over it implying it’s not regularly (read: ever) used. There was also the blue van too. But no blue Ford Focus. Chris was not there. The yard is what you would expect: disgusting and unkempt. We got some pictures of Patti’s doghouse with some writing on it “Patti Chandler rests here” or something. We drove by so many times doing drive by photography that we started to get paranoid and just got the hell out of there. We have plenty and plenty of pictures we will upload.

Being that Chris was not there and it was about 8am, this means that Chris could only be at one place… McDonalds. Although he regularly frequents the Ruckersville McDonalds, it is not on the way to Charlottesville so I speculated there was a 50/50 chance he was at the McDonalds about 5-7 minutes farther down 29 on the way to Charlottesville. We went past it and decided to U-turn to check it out really quickly. We saw a blue car and got excited, but we knew it would be too good to be true. There was a line of cars going through the drive-through blocking it from plain view, but we slowly pulled in to the McDonalds parking lot with a lot of excitement. We knew the only way to confirm was to see the license plate. As we slowly pulled up near his car, we saw “SONICHU” on his license plate and we both shouted like teenage girls as if One Direction just came out on stage. My heart was racing. This was it. This is it. This is not a drill. This will be something that comes up throughout this post, but we were super paranoid at this point and unsure whether to go in. What if he saw us? What if he was suspicious? I didn’t come this far to pussy out so I went in. I quickly identified him and immediately veered right into the bathroom. I pissed out all the coffee I drank up til then and mentally prepared myself. I am not exaggerating but I was feeling several emotions at once… excitement, thrill, paranoia, anxiety. I waited in line to order a coffee… the line was very long and I was hoping, hoping he wouldn’t leave. I finally got a coffee and sat directly behind him. He was alone, but had two drinks, so I suspected Barb was in the bathroom pooping. His hair was long and gangly and he looked similar to his current Facebook profile picture. He wore these multi-colored grotty tennis shoes and a long skirt. I don’t know women’s fashion, but it was like a skirt that went down to his shins. It was definitely a female thing and had these weird multi colors. It was obviously bought at the thift store. He also wore a black atlhletic-like jacket which seemed somewhat normal. I noticed he had blueish eyeliner or mascara that was clumsily applied. He was filling out a crossword puzzle in the newspaper and was quiet. There were tons of people in the McDonalds, but I still sneaked a picture of him from the back. It would have been impossible to take a picture from the front and I didn’t want to blow our cover before the hearing. After 7 minutes or so, he stress sighed as he got up. YES! I heard a stress sigh! I felt so happy inside. It sounded just like all his videos. I tried to get some video of him as I walked out to my car so I put my phone in my pocket and hit record to film a video with the camera lens sticking out. Unfortunately my phone slid into my pocket though so didn’t get anything L.

What happened next made us paranoid as hell again. On the way to the courthouse, it was like there was nothing we could do to not be directly behind him. We waited about 3 minutes after he left McDonalds and of course ended up directly behind him at the first traffic light. Just with the flow of traffic, we literally followed him to the courthouse and got some more video. We finally got to the courthouse and positioned ourselves basically where the guy who did the youtube video of him exiting the courthouse was standing. Chris stayed in his car for… it must have been twenty minutes. So we looked like the biggest bunch of suspicious dumbasses waiting around the front area while he was in his car. He couldn’t see us directly though. As time went on, we became so fucking paranoid that we thought Chris might have called the police of 911. The thinking was if he called 911 to report shovel mech, he definitely would have done it if he was suspicious of two MALES. So we started to walk away. Lipitor finally talked some sense into me. But right as we started walking, he started approaching the courthouse! I whipped out my phone pretending to be on a phone call while recording. I will upload it later and it’s not great, but there are a few moments where you can clearly see what he was wearing and him walking in. We also heard the loudest fucking stress sigh ever made. We were seriously like 30 yards away and heard this and started laughing. We walked in to the courthouse a few minutes later and FUCK MY LIFE he is going through security right in front of us. He was literally a few feet away from us. We panicked and went to the bathroom. After another coffee piss, I saw he was sitting on a bench right in front of the door to go into the courtroom which is immediately after you get through security. There was no way we were going near him at this point. So we waited another 3-4 minutes in the lounge area. We finally went through security when we noticed he wasn’t on the bench. After we get through security, the courtroom door flung open and he came out!… FUCK MY LIFE AGAIN. He walked right by us AGAIN. As we opened the courtroom door, he said to the jerkop at the metal detector “Well, got that over with quickly” and left. WTF. It’s 9:10am and his hearing was at 9:30. We waited in the courtroom for a few minutes, but decided to leave as we were completely confused. His car was still outside so we thought maybe he would come back in around 9:30am. We went back to the courtroom decided to wait. I know this sounds like a stupid move, but there were so many people coming in and out that no one paid attention and the courtroom was really noisy It was honestly like people coming in and out of a Starbucks. We listened to a few people go up, but it was impossible to tell what was happening and you couldn’t even hear their names despite being in the front row. We finally left at 9:45am and his car was still outside. We circled the block to get a better view while staying out of sight, but his car was gone when we got back. I noticed he parked in a spot with a sign the read “Parking for Judges Only”. Clear as fucking day. Entitled cunt. For the rest of the day, we’re going to hit all the major stops and get some photos. We’re also going to upload a photo to prove we’re not making this up.}}

<center><gallery>
File:ChrisatMcDs2.jpg|Chris in the McDonald's parking lot before the hearing.
File:ChrisatMcDs.jpg|Chris at McDonald's.
File:14bc215.jpg|Home sweet home.
</gallery></center>

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Hearing (4-2-15)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MybN06jmIQg}}
| stardate = 2 [[April 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===7 May Hearing===
True to this prediction, this hearing resulted in another continuance, until 11 June. It lasted longer than the previous one. Chris was again spied at [[McDonalds]] before the hearing. Forum member lipitor's account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/trials-and-tribulations.9677/]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Maybe you've seen the picture maybe you haven't but Chris's court room outfit was absolutely ridiculous. It was a girl scout green/teal color and cut worn over a white t-shirt. The cut was just above the knees. Christian wore dirty old sneakers with old gym socks with this. He also had a matching hat that was the same color as his dress. It looked like something an old lady would wear to church. You could tell by his face that he thought he looked cute as shit while wearing that hat, but he looked like a fucking moron. He didn't wear it inside the courthouse, even though women are allowed to wear hats inside.

The inside the courthouse is sort of set up like an old catholic church with pew seating. Christian sat near the front with his back to the side wall so he could scope everyone in there out. Saw him lock eyes on some dude and pull his phone out and text someone (more on who later). You're not allowed to have phones with cameras so he had a flip phone with him. It took fucking hours for them to finally get to his case. When they finally did he got very nervous. They kept calling him by both male and female pronouns at different times. They called him Chris/Christian/Christine and a couple of times Crystal (I know Crystal is his daughter, but apparently the judge accidentally called him that a few times, and I was in no position to correct the man). Christian didn't seemed phased by any of this and went with whatever name/pronoun used at the time. They talked forever and it was mostly just establishing what happened and what the charge was. So it was hard to hear, so the next part is a bit speculative. It sounded like the reason for the continuance was because they wanted Christian to see a shrink/counselor/whatever so they could do a mental health plea. They wanted him to go like right after court too. He seemed to agree to this at the time. Like I said I couldn't hear the exact details of what was going on so it might be a bit different. Feel free to sperg out over what all that means.

Here's the best part. On the way out my field agent was confronted by some lady. She asked the field agent what they were doing there and what their name was. She said she was a reporter. My field agent was like "yeah I'm not telling you that". She shifted tone and said she just wanted to buy my field agent a cup of coffee and hear his story...:stupid: She wanted to know why a community of people on the internet literally document everything in his life. An interview was declined...}}

===11 June Hearing===
This hearing was also quickly continued, until 23 July. The Christorian in attendance described Chris as uncharacteristically sociable and collected, perhaps because his forays in the [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] have made him more comfortable around people. The account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/6-11-court-hearing.10108/]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|
I attended the court hearing this morning....

Chris's hearing was to begin at 9:30. The courthouse opened for business at 9:00. I got there at 9:05, sat down, and realized Chris was already in the room, sitting across from me. Let me proffer the opinion that Chris passes as a woman. An ugly, frowsy, dumpy, old-fashioned, middle-aged woman to be sure, but there are many women like this, so therefore Chris passes. In a public setting like the courtroom, where you don't give people a close inspection, there would be no reason not to assume that the lump sitting over there was a woman. The five 0'clock shadow is easily visible from a distance, which would be your first clue that something was unusual.

He was wearing an aqua blue outfit with matching eyeshadow. Blue sweater, blue collared blouse with vertical stripes, blue skirt with vertical stripes, dark stockings. Everything matched well except for his grotty sneakers, which are blue but the wrong shade. He shouldn't have been wearing sneakers anyhow with this outfit. He had his typical ugly dark nail polish, two rings on his right hand, and some kind of multicolored bracelet on his left wrist. He had a headband, and his hair looked the way it has in all his recent photos. He wore his glasses. He had his black purse with all the jangly shit hanging off it. He was reading something; I couldn't tell what it was at first, but when he stood up it turned out to be the issue of Vanity Fair with Ms. Caitlyn Jenner on the cover. He uses his index finger to help him read.

Chris has a weird body type. He's pudgy, but his forearms and ankles are really skinny, so the weight gathers in the center of his body. He looks kind of like Mr. Peanut. His breasts are as small as ever and there was zero evidence of gainz.

When I first arrived there was a middle-aged woman sitting next to him. I assumed she was his public defender, but as soon as the judge arrived (at the same time I did), she went up to speak with the judge and left the room. Before she left, Chris said to her, "I'm Christine, by the way." The woman introduced herself to Chris and said goodbye. So Chris had apparently initiated smalltalk. A few minutes later Chris did a little handwave to a female lawyer who walked in, who returned the wave. He seemed to be checking out every woman who entered the courtroom.

The judge stuck around for just a few minutes and left again. A cop went around the room to ask everyone, "Are you set for 9:30?" When she asked Chris, he said, "Huh?" She repeated the question, and Chris said, "Um, yeah, I believe so."

The courtroom is small and as other field agents have mentioned, the mood is relaxed and casual, or as much as it can be with seven jerkops hanging around and three guys in the front row with manacled ankles and wrists. The judge is a black woman. She handled one case regarding probation violation before 9:30, which was done very casually and informally, while the other lawyerfolk had quiet chats and shot the breeze with the sheriffs. For the most part everyone just sat around.

The main reason why I made the last-minute decision to attend was that he's been enraged about the new blarms game, and I was hoping he'd show up with a sign demanding justice for transsexuals or something equally dramatic. Chris's mood was entirely the opposite. He was self-contained, calm, and collected. He was not angry, stressed, or nervous. He was not fidgety. It was very hard to believe that this was the person who just the day before had expressed a public wish to beat up Sega executives. He sat and read his magazine. At one point something he was reading caught his interest and he said "Hm!" suddenly, causing the woman sitting next to him (a different one) to turn her head to look at him. He seemed somewhat bored. He yawned twice, loudly, putting his hand over his mouth, which struck me as rather self-indulgent and overly dramatic.

Around 9:40, after a couple quiet cases, they called "Christian Chandler." At this point the lawyer who had defended the probation violator walked over to Chris and escorted him to the front, revealing himself as the public defender. He is young, skinny, bearded, wore tweed. He seems like a good guy, pretty relaxed. He looks like he knows his way around a college debate tournament. Right then three lawyers decided to sit down right in front of me and hold a conference, making it difficult to hear what was said. It was apparent that the first words out of the judge's mouth was that there was a continuance. Chris asked a question. The judge said it would be dealt with at the next hearing, and that he should stay in touch with his lawyer. She and the lawyer wore big patronizing smiles. They treated him like a sensitive child. Their attitude was, "Everyone is your friend, no one wants to attack you." In the previous probation case, the judge was serious and all business, because she was speaking with an adult. Here, even though macing someone is also pretty serious business, she knew she was dealing with a special individual and it was pointless to deal with him normally. So Chris has basically already won over the judge. I predict that, for better or worse, he will receive psychological treatment and very little punishment.

Chris's attorney walked him out of the courtroom, and I followed them out. They hung out on the front porch for about a minute to cover some issues. He told Chris that for the next hearing, "Be a little early like you were today." Another lawyer, a pretty young woman, joined them, and she was also all smiles. Chris complimented her clothing, and she replied, "I like your color too."

Then Chris walked the 100 feet to the curb, and I realized that Son-Chu was sitting right there, shiny and new and as blue as Sonic's arms. Since there was some controversy earlier, let me clarify that Chris is not parking illegally. The handicapped spot is adjacent to the judge's spot, and the sign is clearly marked. Chris is legally allowed to park in the handicapped spot because of his atismu. I had to pay five bucks to park in a garage two blocks away.

He sat in his car for about a minute, and then drove off.

For me the most remarkable thing was how much progress Chris has made in getting over his social anxiety. He was very eager to initiate contact with any pretty woman he saw. I think it's something he should be proud of--he's not the same guy who had to post a sign on the wall because of his noviophobia. This is actually a proven method for overcoming social anxiety--the more experience you have in talking to strangers, the easier it becomes. Of course, none of this will help him find a sweetheart, because while Chris is friendly, he's also immediately off-putting. He's instantly recognizable as a weirdo.}}

===23 July Hearing===
Another continuance, until 15 October, although the Christorian in attendance noted something was said about going to a therapist. Aside from this, he noted that Chris [[Cakefarts|farted]] very loudly in the middle of court, accompanied by that signature [[Stress sigh|sigh]]. Unlike the three previous hearings which Chris attended alone, Barb and a middle-aged woman thought to be [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] were also there. The Christorian was also harassed by an [[White knight|unidentified young woman]] [[Allison Amber|in red]] who tried to prevent him from filming Chris and Barb outside (where he had every right to do so) and asked about his behavior.

The Christorian also revealed that he had been notified Chris [[Chris and reality|thought he (the Christorian) had been arrested]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Leaves Court 7/23/2015
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7RmLoJ7uki0}}
| stardate = 23 [[July 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris' Latest White Knight
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yZXipnejEQY}}
| stardate = 28 [[July 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===15 October Hearing===
The ''real deal'' - Chris was found guilty. As many had foreseen, however, he was let off lightly. The Class 6 felony charge of "Dangerous Gas Unlawful Release" was amended to a charge of "Assault (Misdemeanor)." He was fined $541 and received a suspended sentence of 180 days, a sentence he'll only have to serve if he runs afoul of the law during his probation period. The terms of his probation were not clear. Chris [[Sigh|sighed]] profusely as terms were discussed. Barb showed up this time. The field report from Marvin:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chriss-next-court-date-oct-15-2015.13242/page-22#post-1034829]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|
Barb's aging. Thin, kind of frail. Might not be very responsive.

In retrospect, I don't think Chris recognized anyone. There was the guy he exchanged words with, but going over my notes, it might've been just him being paranoid of someone.

There was an old lady behind Chris talking to him a few times. I don't think it was Rocky.

Chris' outfit, from what I could see, was very funny. @Rammspieler might have a picture.

Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.

There was some guy with white hair and a white suit talking to Not-Rocky. Then the PD came over and talked to Chris and Barb, with white-hair-guy and Not-Rocky in the row behind them. This is where I heard snippets referencing "six months" and something something something. I think I heard Chris stress sigh a few times and I think the PD got a little annoyed dealing with Chris. Not much, but I kinda sensed something like that. Maybe I imagined it.

After a bit, the PD went up to the judge and they called Chris up. Chris starts getting impatient with Barb. He said something like "are your ears clogged up??" and then "wanna follow me so you can hear what's going on?" Then she got up and trundled up there to accompany Chris.

This says a few things to me:

* Perhaps Barb's hearing is wearing down. This fits in with her being frail and old.

* Chris is being kind of bossy to Barb.

* Chris expects Barb to be his bookkeeper so far as his punishments go. This is confirming what we heard about at the Snyder trial.

Now, I couldn't hear anything they were saying up front. At this point, I didn't want to get hassled by Not-Rocky or whoever else was there, so I bailed and went to find Rammspieler.}}

[[File:Final Disposition .png|left|thumb|400px|Final disposition of the case.]]

Field agent Rammspieler released a video of Chris and Barb leaving the courthouse after the hearing:

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Saved By His Autism
| video = {{#ev:youtube|UzNJqFSDy7A}}
| stardate = 15 [[October 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

== Gallery ==
<center><gallery>
File:GameStopCville.jpg|The store in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], site of the incident.
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png|Chris's violently insane version of the incident.
File:PROTESTING_SANIC_BUM.jpg|The defacement Chris intended to wreak.
</gallery></center>

==[[Fan Art]]==
<center><gallery>
File:Goofytime PTSD Employ2.jpg|Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.
File:Tomgrrllyfe.jpg|Chris after life on the inside.
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg|Don't call anybody!
File:Chris's strut.png|Fighting the law requires fashion!
File:Chris_in_court.jpeg| Meanwhile at Chris's trial...
File:Sonichulector1.jpg| Chris after the trial...
File:Sonichulecto3.jpg| Well Trolls, Have the lambs stopped screaming?
File:Sonichulecto2.jpg| You may be the top Graduate from The FBI Academy, but he is the most twisted and cunning criminal the world has known.
File:Phantom_Stress.jpg| Sonichu, I'm already a demon.
</gallery></center>

===[[Miiverse]] Art===
<center><gallery>
File:Ween9.png
File:Ween11.png
File:Ween12.png
File:Ween14.png
File:FileWeen15.png
File:Ween17.png
File:Ween20.png
</gallery></center>

==Video==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan maces a GameStop employee
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}, {{Sonic Boom|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Sweatshirt
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_8_Videos#Dry_Dry_Desert|Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, for a nanosecond as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': Don't call anybody!

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, a family at the counter look shocked and confused by the bizarre creature passing them.'']

'''Clerk''': [''to customer at register''] 22.10 [''laughs'']

[''Chris sprays the store's assistant manager, with pepper spray, causing him to quickly back away and raise his arms, probably in an attempt to wipe or rub his now maced eyes. A woman, likely the store's manager from Chris's description, walks into view.'']

'''Manager''': That guy wants to buy 2... [''trails off, realizing what just happened.'']

'''Ass Manager''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Police Scanner Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
{{Incomplete}}
[''The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.'']

'''0:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP 5-7, APC--[''mumbling'']

'''Rookie:''' I'll cover it.

'''Cool cop:''' Stay there.

'''Old cop:''' He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. ''(CUTS OUT)'' and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a ''([[Stress sigh|sighs]])'' white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]]. ''(Someone in the background says "what the hell?")'' The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

'''1:00'''

'''Rural cop:''' I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

'''?:''' Okay.

'''?:''' Doin' okay.

'''?:''' Thank you, Ethan.

'''?:''' No problem.

'''?:''' Uhh... I'll be looking for seven, I'll probably be in that ''???'' mall for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

'''?:''' Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

'''?:''' Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ''?????'' Thirty-nine can just draw it.

'''?:''' Uh, ''????'' and ''?????''

'''?:''' Roger.

'''2:00'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''2:26'''

'''Mike:''' ''?????''

'''Woman:''' Thank you, Mike.

'''2:32'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''3:23'''

'''?:''' Seven-six APC.

'''?:''' Copy, seven-six.

'''Rural cop:''' Someone here at the mall with Christopher Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

'''?:''' ''????'' uh, you got ''??????''

'''4:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven.

'''Rookie:''' Copy.

'''?:''' Uh, ''?????''

'''Rookie:''' That's correct.

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven. ''(PAUSE) ?????'' seven-six

'''4:45'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''5:14'''

'''Ethan:''' ''???'' before seven APC

'''?:''' ''?????''

'''Ethan:''' Could I have the report number please?

'''?:''' Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. ''(PAUSE) careful??????''

'''Ethan:''' ''????'' three units.

'''?:''' Sir, can you get me the report number ''????????''

'''?:''' ''?????'', you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

'''6:09'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''7:00'''

'''?:''' APC ''?????''

'''Woman:''' ''?????''

'''Old cop:''' ''?????'' car ''???????????????'' in the area ''????'' might have come from a house ''?????'' I'll check the ''book????''

==Fan Videos==
{|align="center"
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Fought the Law
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M2cKgb9xU2o}}
| stardate = 30 [[December 2014]]
| maker = FavoretFox
| subject = 26 December 2014
| type = [[Parody]] of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law"}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0A2p_OgkZw0}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2015]]
| maker = Based Tyrone
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Don't Call Anyone Experience
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R-Ws9ESBA0U}}
| stardate = 2 [[April 2015]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| maker = C Chan
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Don't Call Anyone-The Musical
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SuaW5IzbnUc}}
| stardate = 5 [[October 2015]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| maker = [[4chan|/v/]]
| type = [[Parody]] of "I Ran" by Flock of Seagulls
| subject = 26 December 2014}}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]
* [[28 October 2011]]
* [[Yellow Shirt]]

==References==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Brushfire Video]]|nextlink=[[Mario_Kart_8_Videos#Dry_Dry_Desert|Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Chris's Response to the Terrorism Attacks in Paris

2016-04-10T10:29:08Z

Boomhauer:

[[File:S&rchuparis.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The post in question.]]
On 13 [[November 2015]], [[wikipedia:November 2015 Paris attacks|'''Paris was attacked''']] by a group of terrorists representing the Islamic State of Iraq and the Syria (ISIS) in a series of shootings and bombings, killing 130 people, injuring countless others, and plunging France into a state of emergency. Countless other nations and individuals joined together in condemnation and homage. In a display of [[Chris and remorse|'empathy']] rivaling that of the [[Twin Falling Towers]], Chris decided that he would create his own show of grief, albeit two days late, loaded with references to [[Sonichu]] and [[Amiibo]]s, and put it up on [[Facebook]].

He also compares the real-life atrocities committed to the acts of a [[Count Graduon|cartoon]] [[Robotnik|villain]], suggesting that he either wasn't paying full attention or, more likely, [[Autism|could not understand the substantial difference]]. He also ends up sympathizing with ISIS and pledges that the terrorists should just stand down and become friends with each other, possibly thinking that an organisation dedicated to establishing an extremist totalitarian Jihad across the world would really listen to a [[Virgin with rage|single]] American citizen with [[autism]]. The return of the dreaded [[stress]] is ever prevalent in Chris's musings.

However, it is possible to discern a mote of kindness and compassion in Chris's passage, even if it is horribly misguided and vague.

==Transcript==
''The text is printed on a colorful background, and poorly scanned so that the sentences run off the image on multiple lines. A poorly-photoshopped and small photograph of the French Tricolore can be seen in the top left corner, and the text is layered on top of a much larger drawing of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in front of the '''American''' flag in uppercase. (This image was reused from page 25 of [[Sonichu 9]], during the sequence where Sonichu claims that people calling Chris gay are an insult to America.)''

{{quotebox|IT IS VERY SAD THAT FRANCE WAS ATTACKED BY TERRORISTS YESTERDAY ON THE 14TH. WHERE WAS I WHEN I HEARD THIS WAS HAPPENING? I WAS LITERALLY BEGINNING WORK ON THE BONUS ROSECHU FIGURE, AT HOME FOR THE PERSON WHO BOUGHT THE FIFTIETH SONICHU AMIIBO FIGURE RECENTLY. IT DOES MAKE ME FEEL DISPONDANT [sic] WHEN I HEAR SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD SUCH CHAOS IS HAPPENING, ESPECIALLY REMINISCENT OF SIMILAR ATTACKS ANYWHERE BY THE RANDOM CARTOON VILLAIN, LOOKING TO GATHER ENERGIES AND POWER FOR THEMSELVES, AND THE HEROIC CHARACTERS DO WHAT THEY ARE ABLE TO STOP THEIR ATTACKS WITH SUPERHEROIC, AS WELL AS NORMAL, ABILITIES. BUT LIKE SONICHU, ROSECHU AND MYSELF, WE ALL STAND TOGETHER, COMBINING OUR HEARTS AND SOULS IN THE EFFORTS TO SHARE THE LIGHTS OF FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE AND COMPASSION THAT THE VILLAINS HAVE BEEN OVERLOOKING THAT HIGHLIGHTS THEIR VIEWS ON OTHER PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD AS MIS-GUIDED. AND I FEEL THE TERRORISTS, REGARDLESS OF COUNTRY, ARE MISGUIDED WITH PARANOIA AND FEAR OF OTHERS. IF THEY ONLY UNDERSTAND THAT WE CAN ALL COME TOGETHER AS CARING AND COMPASSIONATE, THEIR ATTACKS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN NEEDED. WHAT GOES ON IN THEIR MIND WITH SADNESS AND MENTAL FRUSTRATIONS AND LACK OF BETTER OPTIONS AND IDEAS, IS MOST UNFORTUNATE. I WISH THOSE PEOPLE WOULD REALIZE AND BETTER UNDERSTAND THAT ON THIS PLANET EARTH, WE ALL ARE STILL MANY OF INDIVIDUAL AND FRAGILE HUMAN BEINGS AND PEOPLE. TO FRANCE, MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO THEM AS WELL IN THEIR RECOVERY. AND MY PRAYERS OF MORAL GUIDANCE AND MORE COMPASSIONATE IDEALS GO OUT TO THE ATTACKERS AS WELL, BECAUSE, THEY, TOO, ARE PEOPLE OF THIS EARTH.}}

==See Also==
*[[Twin Falling Towers]]
*[[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]
{{Writings}}

[[Category:Prose]]

Happy Birthday, Martin.

2016-04-09T23:34:53Z

Boomhauer:

'''Happy Birthday, Martin.''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 5 [[April 2016]]. A [[fan]] [[Money|paid Chris $50]] to make a minute-long video wishing "Martin" a happy birthday. Chris accomplishes this by inanely singing and dancing in an [[Chris and fashion|appallingly filthy muumuu]].

It should be noted that Chris is starting to look uncannily like an old lady - his messy and receding [[hair]] along with his long, blue blouse make him look anything but in his 30's.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Birthday, Martin.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MGrRBi65iTE}}
| stardate = 5 [[April 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Filthy blue "Do What Makes You Happy" T-shirt
| previous = [[My Breast Massage Routine 18+]]
| next =
}}
</center>
==Transcript==
Hello Martin, over there in [[PandaHalo|Australia.]] Um, sorry I'm a little bit, late, I've been- so busy with life changes and everything, but anyway, uh, your friend- paid for me to wish you a happy birthday, I hope you have a very nice and pleasant birthday. [''Chris starts dancing and singing''] You are a special guy Martin, duh-duh-duh [''uncomprehensible singing''] Everybody wish you happy BIRTHDAY! We hope you had a safe and pleasant one, duh-duh-duh, dun! Anyway, thank you for your support over there in Australia. Have a great and safe day.
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Happy Birthday, Martin.

2016-04-09T23:33:53Z

Boomhauer:

'''Happy Birthday, Martin.''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 5 [[April 2016]]. A [[fan]] [[Money|paid Chris $50]] to make a minute-long video wishing "Martin" a happy birthday. Chris accomplishes this by inanely singing and dancing in an [[Chris and fashion|appallingly filthy muumuu]].

It should be noted that Chris is starting to look uncannily like an old lady - his [[hair]] messy and receding along with his long blouse make him look anything but in his 30's.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Birthday, Martin.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MGrRBi65iTE}}
| stardate = 5 [[April 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Filthy blue "Do What Makes You Happy" T-shirt
| previous = [[My Breast Massage Routine 18+]]
| next =
}}
</center>
==Transcript==
Hello Martin, over there in [[PandaHalo|Australia.]] Um, sorry I'm a little bit, late, I've been- so busy with life changes and everything, but anyway, uh, your friend- paid for me to wish you a happy birthday, I hope you have a very nice and pleasant birthday. [''Chris starts dancing and singing''] You are a special guy Martin, duh-duh-duh [''uncomprehensible singing''] Everybody wish you happy BIRTHDAY! We hope you had a safe and pleasant one, duh-duh-duh, dun! Anyway, thank you for your support over there in Australia. Have a great and safe day.
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Happy Birthday, Martin.

2016-04-09T23:33:38Z

Boomhauer:

'''Happy Birthday, Martin.''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 5 [[April 2016]]. A [[fan]] [[Money|paid Chris $50]] to make a minute-long video wishing "Martin" a happy birthday. Chris accomplishes this by inanely singing and dancing in an [[Chris and fashion|appallingly filthy muumuu]].

It should be noted that Chris is starting to look uncannily like an old lady - his hair messy and receding along with his long blouse make him look anything but in his 30's.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Birthday, Martin.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MGrRBi65iTE}}
| stardate = 5 [[April 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Filthy blue "Do What Makes You Happy" T-shirt
| previous = [[My Breast Massage Routine 18+]]
| next =
}}
</center>
==Transcript==
Hello Martin, over there in [[PandaHalo|Australia.]] Um, sorry I'm a little bit, late, I've been- so busy with life changes and everything, but anyway, uh, your friend- paid for me to wish you a happy birthday, I hope you have a very nice and pleasant birthday. [''Chris starts dancing and singing''] You are a special guy Martin, duh-duh-duh [''uncomprehensible singing''] Everybody wish you happy BIRTHDAY! We hope you had a safe and pleasant one, duh-duh-duh, dun! Anyway, thank you for your support over there in Australia. Have a great and safe day.
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PlayStation 4

2016-04-08T15:04:36Z

Boomhauer:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on [[November 2013|November 15th, 2013]]. It is generally considered one of the frontrunners of [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (eighth generation)|the eighth generation of gaming]], alongside the [[HEXbox|HEXbox One]] (with the [[Nintendo|Wii U]] trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 35.9 million consoles have been sold by [[January 2016]].

Despite his fanaticism for [[PlayStation 3|the system's predecessor]] (and his [[Chris and money|tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it]]), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his [[Chris and health|family's health problems]] (compounded by his [[28 October 2011|run-in with the law]]) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets]]. He did however show contempt for its competition - [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee]] - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in ''[[South Park]]'', among other places). He also purchased a Wii U some time later.

This would change in [[February 2016]], around [[Chris's birthday|his 34th birthday]].

==The birthday saga==
===The outset===
On the first of the month, Chris [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY|asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook]] (alongside a frankly ridiculous statute of limitations - notably, he [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Not Dizzy Enough To Beg For PS4!|would later specify]] a white ''Destiny'' bundle). Whoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be reimbursed with a $500 voucher for his [[Etsy]] shop - believing that his comics, [[medallions]], and [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are worth ''any'' money (let alone hundreds of dollars). In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Making this even more ridiculous is that he would [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#A Beg Big Note|further clarify]] that buying him ''anything less'' than the ''Destiny'' bundle and camera would reduce the voucher, showing an unbelievable amount of entitlement in the process.

==="Sorry for being entitled - jk, give me free shit"===
The twelfth would see Chris upload [[Apologies for offending people|a video]] that opens with him apologizing for setting these demands - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended, further showing how talented he thinks he is. His apology toward the end was equally insincere, where Chris ''reiterates his demands'' once again.

===Things go sour===
Predictably, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, [[weens]] sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload [[Update: 2/25/16|another video]] complaining about this. In a move somehow both unexpected and unsurprisingly, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.

==Chris finally gets one==
[[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.]]

However, despite all his whining, it transpired on [[March 2016|March 5th, 2016]] that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was commonly thought that he had finally given up and purchased it himself, until he revealed on Facebook that someone actually did take him up on the offer - a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington." At least this is what Chris claims happened. Closer examination of his Facebook page shows that the details of the order are linked to Fingerhut, the company he bought the PS4 from. This proves he bought the system himself. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore, who have appeared in [[Sex toys|porn films]] together.

==PS4 games Chris owns==
'''Note:''' As of present, this table only covers games that Chris has earned at least one trophy in (there are several more which he has evidently not even touched; the full list can be seen [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here]).

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Playroom|THE PLAYROOM]]''
|2
|6%
|A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man [[Chris and sex|stripped and groped his drunk wife]] live.
|-
|''[[Transformers]] Devastation''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Legacy of the Duelist''
|12
|57%
|
|-
|''[[Little Big Planet]] 3''
|7
|14%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] DIMENSIONS''
|47
|81%
|A "[[toys]]-to-life" game (ala ''Skylanders'' or [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]) that is rather infamous for [[Chris and money|being much more expensive]] than its competitors.
|-
|''[[Guitar Hero]] Live''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''Destiny''
|6
|9%
|Star of [[CWC's Destiny start|a "Let's Play"]] (that was [[Brutal Legend|completely silent]], thanks to Chris's cluelessness).
|-
|''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] 2''
|4
|19%
|
|-
|}

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

PlayStation 4

2016-04-08T15:03:07Z

Boomhauer:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on [[November 2013|November 15th, 2013]]. It is generally considered one of the frontrunners of [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (eighth generation)|the eighth generation of gaming]], alongside the [[HEXbox|HEXbox One]] (with the [[Nintendo|Wii U]] trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 35.9 million consoles have been sold by [[January 2016]].

Despite his fanaticism for [[PlayStation 3|the system's predecessor]] (and his [[Chris and money|tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it]]), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his [[Chris and health|family's health problems]] (compounded by his [[28 October 2011|run-in with the law]]) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets]]. He did however show contempt for its competition - [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee]] - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in ''[[South Park]]'', among other places). He also purchased a Wii U some time later.

This would change in [[February 2016]], around [[Chris's birthday|his 34th birthday]].

==The birthday saga==
===The outset===
On the first of the month, Chris [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY|asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook]] (alongside a frankly ridiculous statute of limitations - notably, he [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Not Dizzy Enough To Beg For PS4!|would later specify]] a white ''Destiny'' bundle). Whoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be reimbursed with a $500 voucher for his [[Etsy]] shop - believing that his comics, [[medallions]], and [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are worth ''any'' money (let alone hundreds of dollars). In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Making this even more ridiculous is that he would [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#A Beg Big Note|further clarify]] that buying him ''anything less'' than the ''Destiny'' bundle and camera would reduce the voucher, showing an unbelievable amount of entitlement in the process.

==="Sorry for being entitled - jk, give me free shit"===
The twelfth would see Chris upload [[Apologies for offending people|a video]] that opens with him apologizing for setting these demands - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended, further showing how talented he thinks he is. His apology toward the end was equally insincere, where Chris ''reiterates his demands'' once again.

===Things go sour===
Predictably, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, [[weens]] sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload [[Update: 2/25/16|another video]] complaining about this. In a move somehow both unexpected and unsurprisingly, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.

==Chris finally gets one==
[[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.]]

However, despite all his whining, it transpired on [[March 2016|March 5th, 2016]] that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was commonly thought that he had finally given up and purchased it himself, until he revealed on Facebook that someone actually did take him up on the offer - a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington." At least this is what Chris claims happened. Closer examination of his Facebook page shows that the details of the order are linked to Fingerhut, the company he bought the PS4 from. This proves he bought the system himself. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore, who have appeared in [[Sex toys|porn films]] together.

==PS4 games Chris owns==
'''Note:''' As of present, this table only covers games that Chris has earned at least one trophy in (there are several more which he has evidently not even touched; the full list can be seen [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here]).

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Playroom|THE PLAYROOM]]''
|2
|6%
|A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man [[Chris and sex|stripped and groped his drunk wife]] live.
|-
|''[[Transformers]] Devastation''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Legacy of the Duelist''
|12
|57%
|
|-
|''[[Little Big Planet]] 3''
|7
|14%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] DIMENSIONS''
|47
|81%
|A "[[toys]]-to-life" game (ala ''Skylanders'' or [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]) that is rather infamous for [[Chris and money|being much more expensive]] than its competitors.
|-
|''[[Guitar Hero]] Live''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''Destiny''
|6
|9%
|Star of [[CWC's Destiny start|a pseudo-Let's Play]] (that was [[Brutal Legend|completely silent]], thanks to Chris's ineptitude).
|-
|''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] 2''
|4
|19%
|
|-
|}

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

PlayStation 4

2016-04-08T14:59:43Z

Boomhauer:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on [[November 2013|November 15th, 2013]]. It is generally considered one of the frontrunners of [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (eighth generation)|the eighth generation of gaming]], alongside the [[HEXbox|HEXbox One]] (with the [[Nintendo|Wii U]] trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 35.9 million consoles have been sold by [[January 2016]].

Despite his fanaticism for [[PlayStation 3|the system's predecessor]] (and his [[Chris and money|tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it]]), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his [[Chris and health|family's health problems]] (compounded by his [[28 October 2011|run-in with the law]]) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets]]. He did however show contempt for its competition - [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee]] - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in ''[[South Park]]'', among other places). He also purchased a Wii U some time later.

This would change in [[February 2016]], around [[Chris's birthday|his 34th birthday]].

==The birthday saga==
===The outset===
On the first of the month, Chris [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY|asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook]] (alongside a frankly ridiculous statute of limitations - notably, he [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Not Dizzy Enough To Beg For PS4!|would later specify]] a white ''Destiny'' bundle). Whoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be reimbursed with a $500 voucher for his [[Etsy]] shop - believing that his comics, [[medallions]], and [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are worth ''any'' money (let alone hundreds of dollars). In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Making this even more ridiculous is that he would [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#A Beg Big Note|further clarify]] that buying him ''anything less'' than the ''Destiny'' bundle and camera would reduce the voucher, showing an unbelievable amount of entitlement in the process.

==="Sorry for being entitled - jk, give me free shit"===
The twelfth would see Chris upload [[Apologies for offending people|a video]] that opens with him apologizing for setting these demands - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended, further showing how talented he thinks he is. Further showing how insincere his apology was is the ending, where Chris ''reiterates his demands'' once again.

===Things go sour===
Predictably, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, [[weens]] sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload [[Update: 2/25/16|another video]] complaining about this. In a move somehow both unexpected and unsurprisingly, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.

==Chris finally gets one==
[[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.]]

However, despite all his whining, it transpired on [[March 2016|March 5th, 2016]] that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was commonly thought that he had finally given up and purchased it himself, until he revealed on Facebook that someone actually did take him up on the offer - a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington." At least this is what Chris claims happened. Closer examination of his Facebook page shows that the details of the order are linked to Fingerhut, the company he bought the PS4 from. This proves he bought the system himself. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore, who have appeared in [[Sex toys|porn films]] together.

==PS4 games Chris owns==
'''Note:''' As of present, this table only covers games that Chris has earned at least one trophy in (there are several more which he has evidently not even touched; the full list can be seen [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here]).

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Playroom|THE PLAYROOM]]''
|2
|6%
|A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man [[Chris and sex|stripped and groped his drunk wife]] live.
|-
|''[[Transformers]] Devastation''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Legacy of the Duelist''
|12
|57%
|
|-
|''[[Little Big Planet]] 3''
|7
|14%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] DIMENSIONS''
|47
|81%
|A "[[toys]]-to-life" game (ala ''Skylanders'' or [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]) that is rather infamous for [[Chris and money|being much more expensive]] than its competitors.
|-
|''[[Guitar Hero]] Live''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''Destiny''
|6
|9%
|Star of [[CWC's Destiny start|a pseudo-Let's Play]] (that was [[Brutal Legend|completely silent]], thanks to Chris's ineptitude).
|-
|''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] 2''
|4
|19%
|
|-
|}

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

User talk:Canine

2016-04-03T00:38:19Z

Boomhauer:

==what==
*** USAJAP1 was kicked by canine (what is this i don't even)
!!! You have been kicked from #sonichu
huh --[[User:USAJAP1|USAJAP1]] 17:41, 25 October 2009 (CET)

Hey Canine. Sorry about being a tard on IRC. I guess you guys are right, I'll just continue transcribing Mumbles from now on. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 08:13, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

*Please delete my account. medic is here, canine is a faggot --[http://http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/User:Gamer_Paulo Gamer Paulo] What the hell are these? Some words? 03:45, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

==IM==

I have some pressing business that I was referred by [[User:Champthom|Champthom]] to you on. Do you have MSN or AIM by any chance? This kind of needs to be kept off the talkpages/IRC.--[[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]][[User:Anon1Guardian|DrSerbia]][[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]] 04:28, 24 July 2010 (UTC)
* Uhhh, you can PM me on IRC. Is that a problem? [[User:Canine|Canine]] 02:57, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

== I been personally hired by Chris ==

To ensure an attack on your wiki is inevitable. You have made great injustices by trolling and harassing this man, but the kind Pickbothmanlol will not tolerate your bullshit. Tell Clyde Cash that I want him to personally e-mail me at my talk page. [[User:Omegaforce|Omegaforce]] 18:57, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:Tanaithetraitor and I will ensure that Clyde Cash talks to us or the wiki will undergo a seige. [[User:Omegaforce|Omegaforce]] 18:59, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
::RED White Knight is in the base! We gotta protect the suitcase! --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:04, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:::'kay [[User:Canine|Canine]] 19:07, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:::: whatever... [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 19:30, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:Chris use his tugboat for something other than PSN shit and fast food? That is a good one. [[User:RobGoblin|RobGoblin]] 07:09, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

I smell bullshit... I think it's coming from Omegaforce -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 07:25, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

So, Chris hired Omega to be his personal ass-kisser and white knight? Talk about desperation...[[User:KickBackDude34|KickBackDude34]] ([[User talk:KickBackDude34|talk]]) 21:30, 11 June 2014 (UTC)

== You are Fan-Freaking-Tastic ==

I don't know how you do all the stuff you do! I just thought you should get some appreciation for all your hard work within these past few hours (as well as these past few days, weeks, months, etc). I don't know how that person managed to do all the stuff/blanking they did, but you seem to be on the ball and made it look easy to fix (though I'm sure it's extremely time consuming). I just wanted to say Thanks for being fan-freaking-tastic...so THANKS! <3 --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:12, 31 December 2010 (PST)
: Haha, uhh, thanks. I mean, when people vandalize shit, there's a handy little revert link. So I can just go down the line reverting everything. Not too hard. But thanks anyway. Heh. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 13:05, 2 January 2011 (PST)

== Get out of bed! ==

''[walks into Canine's bedroom, making furnace noises through snuffle]'' f-f-f-f-f ''[in a normal voice]'' I'm Snuffleupagus! Get out of bed! ''[pokes Canine with snuffle, Canine jumps out of bed]'' --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 14:47, 9 January 2011 (PST)

== I rock ice ==

[[File:Trollface More HD.png|400px]]
Bling-bling bling-bling --[[User:Dankechu|Dankechu]] 16:21, 6 February 2011 (PST)
:Shrunk it, it was too big. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 17:13, 6 February 2011 (PST)

==Unblock==
Thanks man. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 05:53, 17 February 2011 (PST)

==Panic==
Canine, could you blank my post on the Tomgirl Forum's talk page? It mentions Kim and I don't want Chris up and deciding that she's a slanderous troll (if he hasn't already, I wouldn't know). Thanks. [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 02:05, 21 July 2011 (PDT)
*You're the best. [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 05:23, 21 July 2011 (PDT)

Oh, another thing. There are quite a few new users. I suspect that they're all from the one IP address. You're probably aware of this. I have to trust that you guys know what you're doing but I fear a shitstorm's brewing. [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 20:29, 21 July 2011 (PDT)

==Stop this==
That was a genuine drawing by christian weston chandler, there is no point in proving it fake [[User:Some|Some]]
:What? [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:46, 23 December 2011 (PST)
::of course it was real, why did you delete it?-Some
:::You're not convincing anyone, goddamn. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 21:01, 10 January 2012 (PST)

== Hey ==

You [[:File:Cwc3.png|missed]] a [[:File:Cwc4.png|spot]]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 10:33, 3 April 2012 (PDT)
:Oh [[User:Canine|Canine]] 12:09, 3 April 2012 (PDT)

== Appealing a Ban on the Forum ==

What is the proper procedure for appealing a ban on the CWCki forum?
:Beats me. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 18:17, 5 June 2012 (PDT)

== PVCC ==

How do I join PVCC? [[User:FokkerTISM|FokkerTISM]] 23:15, 16 July 2012 (PDT)

== Spammers/Bots ==

The following accounts should be blocked:

*WilliamStephens (spammed a link on the Chris and Hypocrisy talk page)
*BernieceN (spammer on [http://musowiki.org/index.php/User:BernieceN another wiki])
*HowardHut (spammer on [http://wiki.zelda-solarus.com/index.php?title=Utilisateur:HowardHut another wiki])
*YvonneTHK (spammer on [http://www.ifnipedia.es/index.php?title=Usuario:YvonneThk another wiki])

That is all for now. [[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 16:15, 12 February 2013 (PST)

Thank you![[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 08:47, 13 February 2013 (PST)
:Sure [[User:Canine|Canine]] 11:45, 13 February 2013 (PST)

One more: TracieFlo (spammer on [http://www.bleachonline.de/wiki/index.php/Benutzer:TracieFlo other] [http://opensnom.org/index.php/User:TracieFlo wikis])[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 08:58, 20 February 2013 (PST)

== Wiki archive ==

Hello, I noticed there has not been much activity recently on this site, and I was wondering if you could do a backup of the CWCki wiki and release it for download, (or host on Mega or TPB.) Since there is a lot of information on this site, I would hate to see it disappear one day. --[[User:CrackRabbit|CrackRabbit]] 19:45, 18 February 2013 (PST)

== Reenable editing ==

I see account creation has been disabled and you're merging all the spam accounts. Would you be able to reenable editing for non-Jerkops or is Cogsdev the only one who can do that? [[User:FokkerTISM|FokkerTISM]] 00:55, 18 March 2013 (PDT)

:Yeah, I can do that and I eventually plan to do that. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 08:48, 18 March 2013 (PDT)

==Savanah Chandler Messages==
I wanted to add these http://www.sonichu.com/w/images/thumb/3/3a/Savannah_chandler.png/ to the [[facebook]] page and put up transcripts of them. As you can see from my edit history I am not a spambot, could you enable editing for me?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 10:28, 23 March 2013 (PDT)
:I was actually just about to reenable editing in general. And... I just did. So, go, go and edit to the extreme! [[User:Canine|Canine]] 11:10, 24 March 2013 (PDT)
::Is editing supposed to be open to all registered users? Cause I still can't edit articles. I think that my previous edits show that I'm a legitimate contributor, can you please enable editing for me? Plus I suggest you shut down editing for non-registered users, some anonymous IP user did some vandalism that I had to revert. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 15:35, 24 March 2013 (PDT)
:::Shit, yeah, I fucked up. Ok, fixed. But yeah, you still can't edit? [[User:Canine|Canine]] 15:47, 24 March 2013 (PDT)
::::I can edit user and talk pages but the articles are still blocked to me. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 16:33, 24 March 2013 (PDT)
:::::Huh, weird. According to both the settings and the [[Special:ListGroupRights|ListGroupRights page]], users should be able to edit. I'll look into it. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 17:17, 24 March 2013 (PDT)
::::::I think I've got it working. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 17:33, 24 March 2013 (PDT)
:::::::It's all good now, thanks for the help. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 02:32, 25 March 2013 (PDT)

== Kacey date ==

Was Kacey's description of her meetup with Chris where he was really handsy ever confirmed? --[[User:Holdek|Holdek]] ([[User talk:Holdek|talk]]) 14:58, 28 July 2014 (UTC)
:There's a description of the meetup floating around somewhere. Indeed, it's legit. I think Kacey might've been exaggerating and/or misinterpreting some of Chris' behavior though. Fatty's pretty gross and creepy, but specifically trying to grab her tits? I don't know about that one...

:Otherwise it's a good picture of Chris' behavior. [[User:Canine|Canine]] ([[User talk:Canine|talk]]) 16:43, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

== Kathleen ==

Why are you replacing her name with an image of it all of a sudden? It's not like she knows or cares about her portrayal in the comics. [[User:FokkerTISM|FokkerTISM]] ([[User talk:FokkerTISM|talk]]) 23:06, 2 April 2016 (UTC)
:She does indeed know and care. That's why I'm making these changes. Also, do you mind if I change the section name to just Kathleen? [[User:Canine|Canine]] ([[User talk:Canine|talk]]) 23:17, 2 April 2016 (UTC)
::Source? Also, I don't give a shit about the name of the section. [[User:FokkerTISM|FokkerTISM]] ([[User talk:FokkerTISM|talk]]) 23:25, 2 April 2016 (UTC)
:::I was contacted by JKH on the subject. He asked politely. Kathleen's a pretty minor character, all things considered and Chris only mentioned her directly a few times. I'm going to censor anything outright, but replacing the occasional mention of her name (I think I counted two) with an image is a reasonable compromise. I renamed her article to Kathleen and changed the relevant links. [[User:Canine|Canine]] ([[User talk:Canine|talk]]) 23:47, 2 April 2016 (UTC)

Why not just replace her name with 'Kat' or something? - [[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 1:37, 3 April 2016 (UTC)

Sonichu (character)

2016-03-30T20:38:29Z

Boomhauer:

::''This page is about the character. For the comic, see [[Sonichu (comic)]]. For other uses, see [[Sonichu (disambiguation)]]''
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
{{Quote|Do not fear, world, for I am a new [[Pokémon|pokemon]]. And my name is....Sonichu!|Sonichu, the [[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs|The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]}}

{{quote|Sonichu is Copyrighted and Mine Alone. Do Not Steal.|Chris, "Sonichu" [[CWCipedia]] article}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:SonichuOriginal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 17 March [[Sonichu chronology#1988|1988]] (in universe)
17 March [[2000]] (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 5'4" (163 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| CWCville University<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] or [[Pikachu]]
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]
|-
|}
'''Sonichu''' (born 17 March 1988<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on [[CWCipedia]]</ref>) is the magnum opus of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. He is a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] and is also Chris's imaginary son. He goes on adventures and ''"zaps to the extreme!"''

Sonichu's species, [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], evolves from a [[Sonee]], and can evolve into either [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]. (Even though the original Sonichu mutated from Pikachu, which just makes the ''Sonichu'' [[comic]] even more convoluted.) Sonichu is only nominally the hero of the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic series]], as he was swiftly pushed aside for [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] as soon as the comic became an allegory for real-life situations.

==Creation and development==

[[Image:TheFirstSonichu.jpg|thumb|left|The first drawing of Sonichu, circa [[2000]], from one of Chris's homemade Pokémon [[cards]]<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>]]
[[Image:042-CWC'sFavoriteHits.jpg|thumb|The CD cover in question, [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth]]</ref>]]

Chris revealed on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth|fail Wikipedia page]] that Sonichu is a product of a Computer Graphics Class. In March [[2000]], Chris had to create a CD Cover for an assignment. Despite being a ridiculously simple project, with infinite possibilities for a possible CD cover, Chris still struggled with the assignment, because he could not use copyrighted characters. It seemed as if Chris's usual technique of "cover everything with shitty video game characters" wouldn't work this time. But then, inspiration struck:

{{quote|Then it dawned on me at that moment after lunch, much like the random creation of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] during Basketball Practice in my Freshman Year, Sonichu just bursted right into my imagination. A blur at first, but then it all became more clear and came together very well. So, as swiftly as the creation of Bionic, I drew Sonichu on paper from imagination, then I drew him on my currently open Photoshop program.<br>

After checking with Miss. Chalifoux and my father, who is BIG on copyrights and whatnot; SONICHU WAS LEGAL THEN, and STILL IS and ONLY MINE! So, soon after, the CD-Cover was made, printed and Passed with an A+ Grade. :D|Chris on the origin of Sonichu, and why the public school system has failed us<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation (CWCipedia)]</ref>}}

Thus, an [[Internet]] legend, Sonichu, was born.

Chris created the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] five months later, in August [[2000]]. A few drawings of Sonichu appeared on the site, mostly on homemade Pokémon cards and other various sundry shit.

The comic began shortly thereafter: Chris drew a few short comics in the following four years which eventually appeared in [[Sonichu 0#Classic Sonichu Strips|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The comic was completed and released in [[2005]], five years after Sonichu's conception (and to think people bitch about waiting a few months for new comics to come out...).

Sonichu's character design has changed little since Chris' first ill-inspired scrawling. Due to [[Megan]]'s influence (read: wanting her sweet, wet [[china]]), ''Sonichu'' took on a more anime-like appearance. However, despite drawing Sonichu for over a decade, Chris has somehow managed to maintain the [[Chris and art|drawing skills of a six-year-old]].

==Fictional character biography==

{{quote|Yellow electric hedgehog Pokemon. The original and one-and-only, he runs faster than the speed of sound. When danger is near, he will slice and zap it up.|Sonichu's background, ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #2}}

What would later become known as "Sonichu" hatched as a [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] on 17 March 1988,<ref name="Son cwcipedia" /> which interestingly enough is also the exact birth date of Chris's cherished dog [[Patti]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti Eulogy for Patti (CWCipedia)]</ref> It would eventually evolve into a [[Wikipedia:Pikachu|Pikachu]] on 26 February 1994.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />

{{quote|A Pok'emon Watcher saw this one making out with a [[Jiggliami|Jigglypuff]] once or twice. WILD.|Chris, [[CWCipedia]]}}

[[Image:Sonichu and Rosechu Making Out.jpg|thumb|Awww]]
[[Image:CWCsonichuduck.JPG|thumb|Ewww]]

Our hero's story began as the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] lay siege to the town of [[Station Square]]. [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] attempted to defeat the creature using the six [[Chaos Emeralds]] to transform into Super Sonic. In the midst of this epic battle, Sonic bumped into the Pikachu who happened upon the scene. This collision somehow mutated the Pikachu so that it evolved to possess the physical characteristics and abilities of Sonic. After dispatching with the Perfect Chaos Monster, and being mistaken for Sonic, the newly evolved Pikachu declared himself to be a new species of Pokémon: Sonichu.

After his transformation, he ran back to his parents' nest, where he found that they had been caught by Pokémon trainers. Showing the same [[Chris and death|callousness]] his creator shows after a loss, Sonichu does not seem to have attempted to find them, never mentioned them again, and even refers to [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] as his father.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu (CWCipedia)]</ref>

While Sonichu had gained new abilities from his transformation, his larger size made it impractical for him to forage for nuts and berries in the forest. Upon discovering [[Rosechu]] in the woods, he hoped to beg for food from her trainer, [[Kel]] and thus stalked Rosechu back to her and Kel's cabin, whereupon he introduced himself to them. Rosechu was immediately attracted to Sonichu for such qualities as being unable to name his favorite color. Their whirlwind romance was quickly consummated, and the two became passionate lovers. After rescuing Rosechu from [[Naitsirhc]] at [[CWCville Mall]], Sonichu became recognized as the hero of the city. [[CWCville]]'s Mayor, [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], congratulated him for his victory; Sonichu in turn commended his creator's work on the Sonichu comics and wished him luck in his [[Love Quest]].

Although Naitsirhc had been defeated, he succeeded in obtaining a sample of Sonichu's DNA which his adopted father, [[Giovanni]], and [[Doctor Robotnik]] used to create [[Black Sonichu]]. Black Sonichu (unironically dubbed Blachu) was sent to capture Rosechu to lure Sonichu into a trap; however Giovanni and Robotnik did not reckon on Sonichu joining forces with Sonic. Together they overwhelmed both Blachu and [[Metal Sonichu]] to rescue Rosechu, who later met [[Amy Rose]].

One day while zapping to the extreme, Sonichu encountered The Destiny Cave, a mysterious [[Cherokian]] chamber guarded by an old man. The keeper of the Destiny Cave explained that Sonichu was the prophesied creature whose master would enter the cave and receive special powers. Sonichu reported this to Christian, and took him back to the cave. There, they learned the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], which revealed that Chris is the reincarnation of his Cherokian ancestor and foretold of the release of an [[Count Graduon|ancient evil]]. Sonichu blamed himself for allowing this evil force to escape, but Chris reassured him. After Chris took on the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], transforming him into a hedgehog, Sonichu helped him adjust to his new powers and body. No sooner had Chris-Chan mastered these abilities when he and his son were ambushed by [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], the reincarnation of the head of the [[Wasabi Clan]], who sought to renew the hostilities between the Wasabis and Cherokees. [[Saramah Rosechu]], the reincarnation of the wife of Chris's ancestor, intervened to stop the battle. Sonichu and these three prophesied hedgehogs formed a tenuous alliance to defeat a giant golem monster summoned by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]].

When Sonichu learned of Blachu's attempt to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], he zapped to the scene of the crime, only to discover five other electric hedgehog Pokémon born from eggs dropped by the Chaotic Rainbow. Sonichu led this newly formed [[Chaotic Combo]] into battle against Blachu, defeating him utterly.

While Christian and Sonichu were chillin' at the mall, Mary Lee Walsh's forces attacked CWCville, prompting Christian to summon the Chaotic Combo and transform into [[Chrs-Chan Pure]] with his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|twin sister]]. Sonichu contributed relatively little to this battle, as Chris did most of the heavy lifting. In the aftermath of the attack, during which Crystal was imprisoned in Count Graduon's [[Dark Mirror Hole]], Sonichu confided to Rosechu about dreams of seeing his creator with long hair in a mirror. When [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] and Black Sonichu attacked CWCville Mall, Sonichu and [[Magi-Chan]] accompanied Chris in responding to the emergency. Sonichu largely hung back as Chris battled his homosexual evil twin.

After the threat of Reldnahc was eliminated, Chris, Magi-Chan, and Sonichu pooled their efforts to retrieve one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] from [[1990s#1996|1996]]. Magi-chan created a sphere to contain them, which Sonichu's tremendous speed would accelerate backwards through time. Although they successfully obtained the Sonichu Ball and returned to the present, Chris was lost in the time stream. Sonichu was disheartened by the disappearance of his father, but was able to console Rosechu so that she would be willing to have sex with him.

The next day, after hours of vigorous sexual intercourse, Sonichu and Rosechu discovered the website [[4-cent_garbage.com]] spreading slanderous lies about them and their friends. Most notably, the site had pictures of Rosechu with a penis -- pictures which caused Sonichu to collapse into violent nausea. Outraged, the couple stormed the 4-cent_garbage.com building to confront [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. When Howell refused to remove the offending content from his website, Sonichu attacked him in an rage, but was easily defeated. It instead fell to Rosechu to teach Howell a lesson by shoving her breasts and pussy in his face while eating his brain.

During Spring Break, Sonichu was briefly seen talking to Rosechu and surfing.

After Chris's return from the Time Void, Sonichu returned to his role as second fiddle to Chris, doing the latter's bidding as [[Ultra Sonichu]] with some godlike powers of his own.

When forces of evil attacked CWCville, Sonichu took time out from [[Chris and anger|raging]] at [[homos]] and [[Women's rights|objectifying his wife]] in order to defend the city. When granted the opportunity to finish the primary villain once and for all, Sonichu released her in order to allow his father to grab all the glory of defeating her (and thus putting the city in further danger).

Later, after [[Collosal Chan]]'s crimes against humanity, Sonichu served as "plaintif"[sic]/witness in the mock trial of the [[Asperpedia]] Four. After the predetermined verdict, Sonichu took part in Evan's brutal execution.

Sonichu has also made an appearance drawn in marker on CWC's [[duck]].

==Characteristics and personal life==

[[Image:Original-chrischan-rosechu-trap.jpg|thumb|MY ASS HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH FIRE!]]

Sonichu's hobbies include running, surfing and chillin'. He enjoys outdoor activities and the scenery around him. He appears to be undecided on whether his favorite color is yellow or blue.

Sonichu's voice, as Chris would be his ideal candidate for a voice actor should there ever be a ''Sonichu'' cartoon, is more or less Chris's voice but in a slightly higher tone.<ref>[[Mumble 6#Chris is Stressed.2C Moving On|Mumble 6]]</ref>
He is deeply in love with his [[sweet-bolt]], Rosechu, with whom he lives at a subdivision at [[14 Branchland Court|14 Brunchville Lane]], CWCville, [[Chris's_homes|Virginia]], [[Chris's birthday|02024-1982]]. Sonichu is normally rather calm and collected, but when Rosechu's reputation is besmirched he flies into unthinking rage and/or [[Sonichu 8|vomits profusely]]. Sonichu is rarely seen away from Rosechu's side, and it is possible that his relationship with her has become overly possessive and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|abusive behind closed doors]].

[[Image:Lolmarriage.png|thumb|left|"Chris almighty, I zap to the extreme all fucking day, can't I have a goddamn can of [[Reeb]] and watch TV, woman?"]]

Despite maintaining an appearance of living in carnal [[Chris and religion|sin]], Sonichu and Rosechu have been secretly married since March 17, 2006<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today (CWCipedia)]</ref> (a possible [[retcon]] by Chris to address complaints about Sonichu and Rosechu having sex outside of marriage). The two have gone to great lengths to keep it under wraps, wearing gloves ''over'' their wedding rings and keeping their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three children]] — Cerah (potentially named after [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Sarah Jackson]], [[PandaHalo]] or [[Sarah May]]; take your pick), Robbie (most likely named after the retarded hero from [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]], or the not-so-retarded [[Bob Chandler|hero]] of the Chandler household), and Christine (one guess) — hidden in the [[Wikipedia:Flowers_in_the_Attic|attic like so many flowers]]. Whatever sordid reason for burying their union remains a mystery. It has become rapidly apparent that Christian believes that his characters exist outside the confines of his scented marker universe, though one wonders if a personage as bland and poorly-developed as [[Wild Sonichu]] could truly survive in our harsh world.

Although many of his friends are members of his own species, his closest friend is his father and creator, Christian Weston Chandler. As the ''Sonichu'' series has shifted its focus from the titular character to its writer, Sonichu's role has been that of Christian's closest confident as he struggles to persevere in his Love Quest and endure the Stressful Torture of the internet bullies. When [[Giovanni]] asked Sonichu to declare [[Reldnahc]] the new Mayor of CWCville in exchange for Rosechu's life, he chose to defend Christian's mayoral throne without hesitation.<ref name="SchuComic9P82.jpg">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:SchuComic9P82.jpg Image:SchuComic9P82.jpg (CWCipedia)]</ref> Like father, like son.

Chris has revealed that Sonichu's son, [[Robbie Sonee]], is a Tomgirl.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 28]]</ref> As of 25 August 2014, Sonichu is still 100% straight.<ref name="Kryptonite">[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Sonichu's kryptonite]]</ref>

==Sexual prowess==

Sonichu's luck with the ladies apparently predates his transformation into an Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, as his [[CWCipedia]] biography notes that when he was still a Pikachu he made out with a Jigglypuff.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />. Also, in [[Sonichu 8]], [[Jiggliami]] says she used to have a Pikachu boyfriend. This raises some very disturbing implications, as the CWCipedia article also gives 1988 as the year of his birth and 1998 as the year in which he became Sonichu, meaning he could have not been [[Pedofork|older than 10 years]] at the time of said liaison.

Chris has provided very intense details about Sonichu and Rosechu's anatomy.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology Biology (CWCipedia)]</ref>
<br clear="all"> When erect, Sonichu's cock is easily seven inches (18 cm) long, and often ruptures the [[raincoat|condoms]] he uses when 69-ing his beloved Rosechu.<ref name="SchuComic9P82.jpg"/>

==Powers, abilities and weaknesses==

[[Image:SonichuStats.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu's stats. You know, for all the people who give a damn.]]

Aside from the obvious super-speed and body-spinning powers transferred to him from Sonic, Sonichu also possesses many powers based on his original Pikachu form, most notably his lightning and thunder attacks. Some of his special attacks include:

* '''Sky Uppercut''': Jumping punch to the head from below, presumably similar in fashion to the [http://streetfighter.wikia.com/wiki/Shoryuken ''Shoryuken''] from the ''Street Fighter'' games.
* '''Mega Kick''': A martial arts-style kick, sometimes done in midair.
* '''Double Team''': The attacker quickly creates multiple false duplacates or themselves, disguising the real one temporarily and allowing them an opportunity to attack whilst the target is confused.
* '''Spin Dash''': Attacker curls into a ball and spins on the spot, before releasing and hurtling directly into the victim in a high-speed rolling attack. In the original games where this move came from, it was capable of breaking barriers, but this has yet to be seen in the comics.
* '''Zap Cannonball''': Attacker creates a ball of pure electrical energy in their hands, before thrusting their palms forward to fire it at the victim, in a similar fashion to the [http://streetfighter.wikia.com/wiki/Hadoken ''Hadouken''] from the ''Street Fighter'' games, or the [http://megaman.wikia.com/wiki/Thunder_Bolt ''Thunder Strike''] from ''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man 7|Mega Man 7]]''.
* '''Iron Tail''': Attacker swings his tail at the victim to hit them in a slapping attack.
* '''Mud Slap''': Attacker kicks conveniently placed mud to the victim's eyes to lower their accuracy.
* '''Thunderbolt''': Attacker charges up electrical power in body, before releasing it at the victim in the form of a long-ranged bolt of electricity.
* '''Thunder''': Attacker charges up electrical power, and uses it to summon lighting bolts down to the victim whilst simultaneously firing off electricity for a powerful lightning attack.

Sonichu may well possess other special powers that have only been utilized during the scenes where he is off-panel, while [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] takes over the story.

Interestingly, it is said that Sonichu and [[Blake]] are virtually the same. That being said, if one takes Blake's training in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] seriously, then that would mean that Sonichu is actually ''slower'' than Sonic. Blake's given speed was 200 km/h (124 mph), much slower than Sonic, who can apparently hit Mach 1 (1,225 km/h / 761 mph) unassisted (so far, the best Sega has been able to show in-game is around 300 mph (483 km/h) in [[Wikipedia:Sonic Unleashed|''Sonic Unleashed'']]). Even more, it is said that Blake can reach a spinning power of 200 rpm, which is barely enough to get a cool breeze. (However, in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #2 Chris claimed that Sonichu can go faster than the speed of sound.)

Sonichu has a literally paralyzing allergy to [[pickles]], and eating too much of them can make him swell like a balloon.<ref name="Kryptonite" />

==Sonichu as a Mary Sue==
[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|Sonichu is as straight as Chris.]]

Aside from being an unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws, one of the chief traits of Sonichu that drew [[trolls]] to Chris is that Sonichu is a [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]]. In other words, he is an obvious avatar for Chris's personal power fantasies.

When the comics don't focus on Chris himself, they still manage to focus on Sonichu, who serves as Chris's idealized version of himself. Unlike Chris, Sonichu has a girlfriend whom he met, fell in love with, and drew into a meaningful relationship in a few hours' time; is agile, good looking, and loved by everyone; and despite his success, he somehow manages to "admire" Chris.

A notable instance of Sonichu as a Mary Sue is in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where Sonichu merely stands in for Chris as he fights the trolls during the battle with [[4-cent_garbage.com]]. The fact that Sonichu ultimately gets his ass kicked and has to be saved by his sweetheart just adds another level to this dumbfuckery.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Sonic VS Sonichu- the battle nobody wanted to see explodes onto your computer screens!
Image:067-SonichuStats.jpg|More than you ever wanted to know about Sonichu's stats.
Image:069-SchuGlasses.jpg|Even Sonichu wears [[Pedo-Glasses]]!
Image:070-SchuVsBchu.jpg|SONICHU VS. [[Blake|NIGRACHU]] FIGHT!
Image:072-SchuRchuDisco.jpg|Fun fact: Chris would never actually go into a disco because it's too [[tobacky|smokey]] and [[alcohol|drunky]] for his tastes.
Image:073-SchuRchuCmas.jpg|Watch out Sonichu, it's Black Sonichu!
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|HE'S A STREET SMART COP WITH 20 YEARS ON THE FORCE! HE'S A ROOKIE OUT OF ACADEMY! TOGETHER, THEY DELIVER JUSTICE. COMING THIS SUMMER.
Image:111-CWCSchuRchu.jpg|Chris, marveling at his creation where either Sonichu is holding a minidisc version of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] or an unfortunate licensed [[raincoat|condoms]] with album art on them.
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|Yes, even Chris's game consoles have Sonichu on them, like his PSP.
Image:112-NDSonichu2.jpg|Even for your DS!
Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|Chris and Sonichu are keeping an eye on you, [[Evan]]. FIND YOUR OWN VIDEO GAME FRANCHISES TO INFRINGE UPON!
Image:161-ACSchu1.jpg
Image:162-ACSchu1Bck.jpg
Image:167-SchuCard1.jpg
Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|That's right, he made a reverse foil card with actual tin foil.
Image:169-CWCsSchu1.jpg
Image:170-DarkSchu.jpg
Image:171-SurfingSchu.jpg
Image:172-SnowSchu.jpg
Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg
Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg
Image:175-SchuBday.jpg
Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg
Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg
Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg
Image:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg
Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg
Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg
Image:182-SchuCard6.jpg
Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg
Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg
Image:187-ACSchu2.jpg
Image:188-ACSchu2Bck.jpg
Image:189-YuSchu.jpg|Yu-Gi-Oh!
Image:195-SchuSteLgoIdea3.jpg|A proposed site logo idea that was rejected for not being bad enough. Also, Sonichu's smiling because he's gonna rape her within seconds.
Image:200-RockinSonichu.jpg|<s>Freddy Mercury</s> Sonichu, noted guitarist in Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|And his GBA
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg|(with layout so you can instantly make it worthless)
Image:206-SonichuPose.jpg|Very intimidating...
Image:228-SchuGrafiti.JPG|Spoiler: either that was an abandoned building nobody gave a shit about or it was a wall that was going to be demolished immediately anyway.
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|Really? Of all the things going on campus, you had to go with asking Chris about Sonichu?
Image:509-SonichuAndRosechuPixel.JPG|Sonichu with Rosechu, in [[Pixelblocks]] form.
Image:snowchu.gif|Nothing is safe.
Image:0510-CWCNote9.jpg|DVD notes
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|They've fused!
Image:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|In ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
File:LBPSonichu.jpg|In [[LittleBigPlanet]]
File:FlipnoteSonichu.png|In [[Flipnote Hatena]]
File:Lego Sonichu.jpg|[[LEGO]] Sonichu. It's completely filthy because it's the one he plays with the most.
File:Zapping boom 1.JPG|"Sonichu's Zapping Boom," a [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|drawing]] Chris made in 2014 and sold on [[eBay]].
File:Amiibo4.JPG|Homemade Sonichu [[Amiibo]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu}}
{{Fan art|chris=Sonichu_(fanart)|linkname=Sonichu}}
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' (comic)]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Sonichu (disambiguation)|All other uses of that damn "Sonichu" word]]
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Medallions of Fail]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Sonichus]]
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream

2016-03-27T00:18:47Z

Boomhauer:

'''I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on March 24, 2016, apologizing for the silent video [[CWC`s Destiny Start]]. Ironically, Chris's Controller Pad was the one that caused the problem. And yet in this video, he replugs it into his controller, which cuts off the audio yet again, and causes the PS4 to begin attempting to load ''The Playroom'', put up a facecam, and create numerous graphical artifacts. Chris also has a noticeable stubble going on.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-tw7F9lPsuo}}
| stardate = 24 [[March 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
|subject= {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = Blue tank top
| previous = [[CWC`s Destiny Start]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''Chris is standing in front of his makeshift [[Amiibo]] painting table, which is cluttered with art supplies. A picture in picture showing the same visuals a second time is in the top right''.

[The video starts with Chris already mid-sentence]

-Of which I've uhh- just realized that apparently my... mic in my camera has been- have been temporally disabled. I didn't realize that I should have unplugged [Chris raises his right hand to show a PS4 Type Pad controller attachment] the keypad from my controller, because apparently, you know, it has a little headphone [Chris moves the Type Pad and controller together, fumbling to connect the two; he continues talking while doing this] thing that goes into the jack on the controlerr-r-

[The audio from Chris's microphone is instantly cut off as he finally manages to connect the Type Pad into his controller]

[The screen rapidly flips between the no video symbol and Chris's room until finally resting on Chris's room]

[Chris motions silently, failing to realize that connecting the Type Pad had once again muted his audio]

[After a small amount of time Chris removes the Type Pad and audio resumes just as Chris ends a sentence]

-st. I should have just- I should have just unplugged it in the first place, that's why, okay? Yeah... So again I apologize for that, I'll just remember for future stream broadcasts I'll just leave this thing unplugged I mean it's a great thing to have, you know, for... [Chris reaches down and raises a PS3 controller with a keypad attached] similar to what we originally had for PS3 with the keypad that was on top... They could have done something wi-[Chris placed the PS3 controller down] they could have done something like that for this you know... just have it not be on top of the uhh- [Chris motions to his PS4 controller] touch pad, could have done it similar. I don't know maybe hooked it to the uhh- USB port there [Chris points to the USB port on the bottom of the controller] to keep it in place, that's beyond me and whatever. Okay, well that's just t' let 'chall know. Thank you and have a good day.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]

I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream

2016-03-27T00:18:32Z

Boomhauer:

'''I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on March 24, 2016, apologizing for the silent video [[CWC`s Destiny Start]]. Ironically, Chris's Controller Pad was the one that caused the problem. And yet in this video, he replugs it into his controller, which cuts off the audio yet again, and causes the PS4 to begin attempting to load ''The Playroom'', put up a facecam, and create numerous graphical artifacts. Chris also has a noticeable stubble going on.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-tw7F9lPsuo}}
| stardate = 24 [[March 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
|subject= {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = blue tank top
| previous = [[CWC`s Destiny Start]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''Chris is standing in front of his makeshift [[Amiibo]] painting table, which is cluttered with art supplies. A picture in picture showing the same visuals a second time is in the top right''.

[The video starts with Chris already mid-sentence]

-Of which I've uhh- just realized that apparently my... mic in my camera has been- have been temporally disabled. I didn't realize that I should have unplugged [Chris raises his right hand to show a PS4 Type Pad controller attachment] the keypad from my controller, because apparently, you know, it has a little headphone [Chris moves the Type Pad and controller together, fumbling to connect the two; he continues talking while doing this] thing that goes into the jack on the controlerr-r-

[The audio from Chris's microphone is instantly cut off as he finally manages to connect the Type Pad into his controller]

[The screen rapidly flips between the no video symbol and Chris's room until finally resting on Chris's room]

[Chris motions silently, failing to realize that connecting the Type Pad had once again muted his audio]

[After a small amount of time Chris removes the Type Pad and audio resumes just as Chris ends a sentence]

-st. I should have just- I should have just unplugged it in the first place, that's why, okay? Yeah... So again I apologize for that, I'll just remember for future stream broadcasts I'll just leave this thing unplugged I mean it's a great thing to have, you know, for... [Chris reaches down and raises a PS3 controller with a keypad attached] similar to what we originally had for PS3 with the keypad that was on top... They could have done something wi-[Chris placed the PS3 controller down] they could have done something like that for this you know... just have it not be on top of the uhh- [Chris motions to his PS4 controller] touch pad, could have done it similar. I don't know maybe hooked it to the uhh- USB port there [Chris points to the USB port on the bottom of the controller] to keep it in place, that's beyond me and whatever. Okay, well that's just t' let 'chall know. Thank you and have a good day.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]

I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream

2016-03-27T00:17:41Z

Boomhauer:

'''I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on March 24, 2016, apologizing for the silent video [[CWC`s Destiny Start]]. Ironically, Chris's Controller Pad was the one that caused the problem. And yet in this video, he replugs it into his controller, which cuts off the audio yet again, and causes the PS4 to begin attempting to load ''The Playroom'', put up a facecam, and create numerous graphical artifacts. Chris also has a notable stubble going on.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-tw7F9lPsuo}}
| stardate = 24 [[March 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
|subject= {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = blue tank top
| previous = [[CWC`s Destiny Start]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''Chris is standing in front of his makeshift [[Amiibo]] painting table, which is cluttered with art supplies. A picture in picture showing the same visuals a second time is in the top right''.

[The video starts with Chris already mid-sentence]

-Of which I've uhh- just realized that apparently my... mic in my camera has been- have been temporally disabled. I didn't realize that I should have unplugged [Chris raises his right hand to show a PS4 Type Pad controller attachment] the keypad from my controller, because apparently, you know, it has a little headphone [Chris moves the Type Pad and controller together, fumbling to connect the two; he continues talking while doing this] thing that goes into the jack on the controlerr-r-

[The audio from Chris's microphone is instantly cut off as he finally manages to connect the Type Pad into his controller]

[The screen rapidly flips between the no video symbol and Chris's room until finally resting on Chris's room]

[Chris motions silently, failing to realize that connecting the Type Pad had once again muted his audio]

[After a small amount of time Chris removes the Type Pad and audio resumes just as Chris ends a sentence]

-st. I should have just- I should have just unplugged it in the first place, that's why, okay? Yeah... So again I apologize for that, I'll just remember for future stream broadcasts I'll just leave this thing unplugged I mean it's a great thing to have, you know, for... [Chris reaches down and raises a PS3 controller with a keypad attached] similar to what we originally had for PS3 with the keypad that was on top... They could have done something wi-[Chris placed the PS3 controller down] they could have done something like that for this you know... just have it not be on top of the uhh- [Chris motions to his PS4 controller] touch pad, could have done it similar. I don't know maybe hooked it to the uhh- USB port there [Chris points to the USB port on the bottom of the controller] to keep it in place, that's beyond me and whatever. Okay, well that's just t' let 'chall know. Thank you and have a good day.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]

Christopher's name change

2016-03-25T22:11:54Z

Boomhauer:

[[Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Godbear|"I am GodBear Almighty; walk before me faithfully and be blameless. Then I will make [[Anchuent Prophecy|my covenant]] between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers." Christopher fell facedown, and the Bear said to him, "As for me, this is my covenant with you: No longer will you be called Christopher; your name will be Christian, for you will be the father of [[CWCville|many nations]]."]]
::''"Christopher" redirects here. For the troll named Christopher, see [[Asperchu]].''
At age ten, Christopher Weston Chandler '''changed his name''' to [[Christian Weston Chandler]] as a result of events in December [[1992]]. His name was legally changed the following year. Given the significance Chris ascribes to his identity and his name, it's no wonder that he continues to consider this to be one of the most significant events of his life.

==Leonard Bearstein==

Chris credits his name change to "Leonard [[Jew|Bearstein]]," an animatronic bear in a musical program presented at shopping malls and other venues. The Leonard Bearstein Symphony Orchestra is still in operation to this day, running shows in North Carolina, Virginia, and elsewhere during the Christmas season. The Leonard character is designed to be fully interactive and engage in conversations with the audience via a human operator behind the scenes.<ref>[http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ Leonard Bearstein's website]</ref><ref>[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Leonard-Bearstein/205357189065 Leonard Bearstein has a Facebook FFS]</ref> During a shopping trip to [[Richmond]] in 1992, the Chandler family encountered the Bearstein show at the [[wikipedia:Regency Square|Regency Square]] shopping mall. Chris was evidently fascinated by the spectacle, and due to the light turnout that day, he received considerable attention from the interactive bear. The performer operating Leonard asked Chris his name, and misheard "Christopher" as "Christian." Chris and his family seem to attribute this error to the Leonard's English accent, rather than the fact that a [[speech impediment|mumbling]] [[slow-in-the-minds|retard]] was talking to a man over a microphone built into a robotic bear.<ref name="a">[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> For reasons understood only by him, Chris adopted the new name and insisted upon being called by it.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

[[1993|On 29 December 1993]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' ran [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|a fluff piece]] on the incident. The story drew a connection between Chris's experience with the bear and his successes in finding an [[autism]]-friendly school and winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], and reported the family's decision to begin the legal process to rename him. It also quoted Chris's father [[Bob]] as admitting that he had wanted to name his son "Christian" to begin with, but had pussied out (although what he was afraid of remains unclear).<ref name="a" /><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Christopher|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]], 52:22</ref>

==Significance today==
[[Image:Crystal.jpg|thumb|right|Who the hell is Christopher?]]
As even a cursory examination will reveal, Chris is fixated on his own name and events from his childhood. Thus an event which resulted in him having ''two'' names to obsess over is of supreme importance to him, even after almost twenty years. However, Chris routinely glosses over key details in the story--at times he will simply refer to "Christopher" or discuss being renamed by "a conducting Bear" as if no further context is required.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]</ref> For example, the [[trolls|trolls']] first real insight into the event comes from this brief note in Chris's [[DVD]] slideshow:

{{quote|Before moving from Ruckersville to Richmond, in December of [[1989]], my family and I were watching the Regency Square Bear Band perform. When the Conductor asked me my name, I told him "Christopher", but apparently he was english, since he misunderstood me and called me "Christian". The name change settled in. Originally when I was born my father wanted to name me Christian, but he chickened out and named me Christopher.|Chris's note in his DVD Slideshow<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts]]</ref>}}

As seen here, even at age 25 Chris saw no need to explain why he would change his name at the behest of a total stranger, ursine or otherwise.

Chris's fixation on his identity came to the fore during the [[Liquid Saga]], when he was confronted with an impostor of himself. In his struggle to affirm his uniqueness in the universe, Chris reluctantly conceded that Liquid might truly share the name "Christian Weston Chandler," but clung to the idea that he and he alone was ''born'' Christopher Weston Chandler and later ''became'' Christian Weston Chandler. (This of course missed the point that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] was not merely taking credit for Chris's accomplishments but was claiming to ''be'' the true and honest Christian, name change and all.) This became a recurring theme in Chris's videos at the time, as he would repeatedly cite his name change as something that the impostor could not possibly claim as his own.

Since Liquid and others were constantly accusing Chris of being an impostor named "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]", Chris frequently asserted the authenticity of his name. However, the name change clouds the matter, and Chris could not even use a phrase like "my God-given name" without qualifiers:

{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[God]] and the bear has given me throughout my whole life.|Chris makes no sense, 6 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref>}}

Along with Chris's tendency to refer to [[God and Jesus]] in the same breath (or even [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|the same word]]), this quote gave rise to the troll meme that Leonard Bearstein is an avatar of GodJesus, or perhaps GodBear.

==Christopher as a separate personality==

[[Image:Recent Activity.jpg|thumb|250px|"Christopher" in action]]

That Chris's preadolescence has a name unto itself seems to encourage Chris to treat "Christopher" as a former life. In his [[KCWC]] dedication special, Christian dedicated a song to Christopher and explained the distinction:

{{quote|Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the one that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me in [[heterochromia|my one blue eye]]. And in my heart and soul. Cuz he is me, I am him.|Chris, 12 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special#Part 4: #6 and #5]]</ref>}}

Shortly thereafter, Chris briefly tried to imply that Christian and Christopher were [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], going as far as faving [[gay]], [[pedophile]], [[anime]] videos on [[YouTube]] in the name of "Christopher".<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref> However, he quickly abandoned the act, and later admitted that he made the whole thing up.<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> He also tried it on [[Kacey]], but she didn't bite.<ref>[[Kacey Call 6]]</ref>

Despite Chris's assertion that Christopher lives on in him, it would appear Christopher's spirit haunts the grounds at [[14 Branchland Court]], judging by the account of ace field agent [[JenkinsJinkies]]:

{{squote|I went over to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too;
strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. [[Troll]]." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shittin' my pants here]]. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Elementary School]] were; they did not understand me and [[Autism|my mind]]. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an [[abusive babysitter]] called "Roache" locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at [[James Madison University]]; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of Nathanel Greene Elementary School holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence. [...] I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and [[Patti]], protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave.|Jenkins reports on the Chandler household, 27 July 2010<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</ref>}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|From the [[scrapbook]]
Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|From the [[DVD]]
Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|Bearstein performance in the Regency Sq. Mall
Image:Godbear.jpg|A challenger appeared. Beware, Raptor Jesus!
Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg
Image:Leonard Bernstein.jpg|[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|No relation]]
Image:Angrybear.png
Image:GODBEARStrip.png|The TRUE and HONEST event. (Artist's Impression)
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]
*[[Carlos Chantor]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ Leonard Bearstein's website]
*[http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/timesdispatch/access/615847621.html?dids=615847621:615847621&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT Richmond Times - Dispatch article, 29 December 1993]
*[http://www.regencysquaremall.com/ Regency Square Mall site]

[[Category:Events]]

CWC`s Destiny Start

2016-03-24T20:43:38Z

Boomhauer:

'''CWC`s Destiny Start''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on March 23, 2016. The video showcases Chris's unimpressive FPS skills, and is shot in the style of a [[Wikipedia:Let's Play (video gaming)|Let's Play]] which would be fine if Chris hadn't forgotten to turn his mic on. He uploaded it anyway, though.

This video is not unlike the [[Brutal Legend]] video from [[2009]]; that being, no audio from Chris's PlayStation Camera, but at least in this matter audio from the game exists.

In addition to forgetting to turn on his mic, Chris seems also to have forgotten to disable likes/dislikes and comments, resulting in the comment section being flooded with snarky remarks.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC`s Destiny Start
| video = {{#ev:youtube|N7F4wQb5mhk}}
| stardate = 23 [[March 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
|subject= {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = lilac T-shirt
| previous = [[CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary‎]]
| next = [[I`m sorry for the lack of mic audio in the Destiny Stream]]
}}
</center>
==Transcript==
{{Transcription}}

March 2016

2016-03-23T20:33:26Z

Boomhauer:

{{Ongoing}}

'''March''' is the third month of '''[[2016]]'''. [[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|♪ Chris is back, all right! ♫]]

==Events of March 2016==
* 5 March - It is revealed that Chris received a [[PS4]] for his birthday.
* 7 March - Chris starts making videos using the PS4.
* 8 March - Chris wishes all of us a happy International Women's Day. He expects us to be aroused by his body.
* 10 March - It's confirmed that while [[Mass debating|Kagney]] seemed to have wasted her money on Chris, he in fact purchased the PS4 himself.
* 14 March - It's revealed that a Virginian Discover Bank has filed a lawsuit against [[Barb]] for failing to [[Money|pay debts]].
* 16 March - Barb attended a hearing to discuss her failure to pay her debts. She pays Discover Bank $4,706.98 {{Cite}}, which is well under the typical $5,000.00.
* 17 March - [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|St. Patrick's Day]].
* 20 March - Chris does a 3 part live commentary of the Autism Tutorial.

{{Timeline}}

March 2016

2016-03-23T20:32:51Z

Boomhauer:

{{Ongoing}}

'''March''' is the third month of '''[[2016]]'''. [[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|♪ Chris is back, all right! ♫]]

==Events of March 2016==
* 5 March - It is revealed that Chris received a [[PS4]] for his birthday.
* 7 March - Chris starts making videos using the PS4.
* 8 March - Chris wishes all of us a happy International Women's Day. He expects us to be aroused by his body.
* 10 March - It's confirmed that while [[Mass debating|Kagney]] seemed to have wasted her money on Chris, he in fact purchased the PS4 himself.
* 14 March - It's revealed that a Virginian Discover Bank has filed a lawsuit against [[Barb]] for failing to [[Money|pay debts]].
* 16 March - Barb attended a hearing to discuss her failure to pay her debts. She pays Discover Bank $4,706.98 {{Citation needed}}, which is well under the typical $5,000.00.
* 17 March - [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|St. Patrick's Day]].
* 20 March - Chris does a 3 part live commentary of the Autism Tutorial.

{{Timeline}}

CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary

2016-03-23T11:01:11Z

Boomhauer:

'''CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary''' is a livestream in three parts that Chris did on 20 [[March 2016]], in which he plays the [[Autism Tutorial]] (created 2011) and rambles on over it. Chris removed the video two days later and reuploaded with all the parts combined, along with the original version of the Autism Tutorial. It should be noted that despite being uploaded in HD, the first 20 minutes of the video are, in [[Chris and cinematography|CWC-fashion]], grainy and low quality.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rqTn8bORBt8}}
| stardate = 20 [[March 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
|subject= {{Galpals|text}}
| shirt = lilac T-shirt
| previous = [[Happy Women's Day‎]]
| next =
}}
</center>

===Transcript===

{{Transcription}}
[''Chris sits in his room. The facecam is in the upper right, similar to how most "Let's Players" orient it.'']

This is Christine Chandler comin' to you live from Ruckersville once again; we're about to do the director's commentary for my Autism Tutorial in [[Little Big Planet|Little Big Planet 3]] on [[PlayStation 4]]. I just wanna get a few notes out of the way so we don't have to go through this during the actual animation. Yeah... Hmm.

I mean, yeah, originally, this was quite a pains-taking, more painstaking effort than I had planned, originally, especially because A. to view thi- aut- view the tutorial, as originally uploaded from Little Big Planet 2 on PlayStation 3, it ended on the PlayStation 4- it ended up my character being left [[muscle bra|shirtless]]. So using the PlayStation 3 version of Little Big Planet 3, I had to, uh, put a new shirt on my character, which is, uh, what the soccer shirt, specifically I picked the one for [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|jolly old England]], and then I put the sticker- I put the shirt decal over that.

Yeah... And also [''unintelligible''] wish I could not add these to my PS4 version ''here''... because I was missing the Marvel ''DLC'', that was originally, I believe, released for Little Big Planet 1, if I'm not mistaken, or it was Little Big Planet 2. Anyhow, uh... Yeah, the li- the licenses should have-, needs to be remo-, re-, it needs to be renewed for all that so I can download the DLC for the PS4. Fortunately I had it on PS3. It was just... Nnn... I wish I coulda done it all on this one system, but I had to do it all on the PlayStation 3. I'm glad I did not get rid of it. And also the Chinese New Year DLC, I'm lacking that as well for PS4, so let's get that up there! Lets get that up there, Sony, Media Molecule, whoever... um, listens to all of this anyway. Mmh...

Yeah and also, uh, brought up to-, also mentioned that, sent a complaint to support as well through the uh, forum... Of which, uh, I bought, I bought all this, and I also made a suggestion they should do a remo- they should at least do a remastered version of Little Big Planets 1, 2, and Karting, for PlayStation 4, and allow us to- be able to download ''all'' of the DLC, f- originally released for PlayStation 3.

And also I still felt disappointed that the PS4 would not allow me to play the PS3 games that I have in my digital library... Cause I was looking forward to migrating the Little Big Planet data, including save data and backed up profiles, from my PlayStation 3 to PS4. Like I believe to my understanding, with the uh, save data from the PS3 version of Minecraft to the PS4 version which I have heard about before...

And also just to go ahead and quell a few, uh, haters to comment on this, but I mean uh... [[Obesity|I'm not fat]], I'm losing the weight, and also so what if I vent about nearly at the end of each part of the Autism Tutorial? I have my own rights too, I'm human, you're human, we're all human! Alright? And don't go lying that you're saying you're an alien... alright? Uh, lemme see what else, um...

Oh yeah and just uh, pretty much one minor update to the Autism dob- feel for my own personal experience... [[Autism|constant mental blankouts]]. My mind just blanks out at random from... I mean, typically... from... [[Chris and English|overzealous]] amount of [[Stress|stress and anxiety]] from life and everything... I mean, it's pretty much typical, most people I have learned... but to my knowl- I would guess, feel free, but not to be insulting, feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken, cause I have also taken medications that quell my anxieties and stress so I don't... end up with heart attacks and whatnot... crazy life. [''sigh''] Anywho, self aware, all that, that's all fair... Hmm...

I wa- I originally wanted to uh, stream this through my... [''unintelligible''] -Little Big Planet through muplay [?] in my Vita, but unfortunately, to do 'share', while having the remote play enabled, it would not let me do that, cause then I would have the ability to uh, view the tutorial down here, and kept constant eye contact with the camera where I have it located versus originally where it was on top of the monitor, and where the... animation is being made, that I'm playing it on right now. Hmm.

Alright, so with that, let's go online and find the update... Find the Autism Tutorial as updated... in an adventure map. Hmm. [''To narrator''] I know he has a job to do, but do I have to have him repeating himself... as I go along? Anyway, it was quite a painstaking effort to get all this updated, so I could put it all in an adventure map, and in a clockwise ori- order... so then the parts could be viewed individually later, but more importantly so they could all be streamed through, seamlessly, so I would not have to... click the X pl- button in between parts... Except for, to go from, part six to the extra part, with the mock interview.

Alright, so with all that aside, um, here's the uh, tutorial, and I'm commenting.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Extra]]|nextlink=n/a|}}
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary

2016-03-22T19:29:53Z

Boomhauer:

{{Deletedvideo}}

'''CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary''' is a livestream in three parts that Chris did on 20 [[March 2016]], in which he plays the [[Autism Tutorial]] (created 2011) and rambles on over it.

==Part 1==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DjH788cIzEk}}
| stardate = 20 [[March 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
|subject= {{Galpals|text}}
| shirt = lilac T-shirt
| previous = [[Happy Women's Day‎]]
| next =CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary Part 2
}}
</center>

===Transcript===

{{Transcription}}
[''Chris sits in his room. The facecam is in the upper right, similar to how most "Let's Players" orient it.'']

This is Christine Chandler comin' to you live from Ruckersville once again; we're about to do the director's commentary for my Autism Tutorial in [[Little Big Planet|Little Big Planet 3]] on [[PlayStation 4]]. I just wanna get a few notes out of the way so we don't have to go through this during the actual animation. Yeah... Hmm.

I mean, yeah, originally, this was quite a pains-taking, more painstaking effort than I had planned, originally, especially because A. to view thi- aut- view the tutorial, as originally uploaded from Little Big Planet 2 on PlayStation 3, it ended on the PlayStation 4- it ended up my character being left [[muscle bra|shirtless]]. So using the PlayStation 3 version of Little Big Planet 3, I had to, uh, put a new shirt on my character, which is, uh, what the soccer shirt, specifically I picked the one for [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|jolly old England]], and then I put the sticker- I put the shirt decal over that.

Yeah... And also [''unintelligible''] wish I could not add these to my PS4 version ''here''... because I was missing the Marvel ''DLC'', that was originally, I believe, released for Little Big Planet 1, if I'm not mistaken, or it was Little Big Planet 2. Anyhow, uh... Yeah, the li- the licenses should have-, needs to be remo-, re-, it needs to be renewed for all that so I can download the DLC for the PS4. Fortunately I had it on PS3. It was just... Nnn... I wish I coulda done it all on this one system, but I had to do it all on the PlayStation 3. I'm glad I did not get rid of it. And also the Chinese New Year DLC, I'm lacking that as well for PS4, so let's get that up there! Lets get that up there, Sony, Media Molecule, whoever... um, listens to all of this anyway. Mmh...

Yeah and also, uh, brought up to-, also mentioned that, sent a complaint to support as well through the uh, forum... Of which, uh, I bought, I bought all this, and I also made a suggestion they should do a remo- they should at least do a remastered version of Little Big Planets 1, 2, and Karting, for PlayStation 4, and allow us to- be able to download ''all'' of the DLC, f- originally released for PlayStation 3.

And also I still felt disappointed that the PS4 would not allow me to play the PS3 games that I have in my digital library... Cause I was looking forward to migrating the Little Big Planet data, including save data and backed up profiles, from my PlayStation 3 to PS4. Like I believe to my understanding, with the uh, save data from the PS3 version of Minecraft to the PS4 version which I have heard about before...

And also just to go ahead and quell a few, uh, haters to comment on this, but I mean uh... [[Obesity|I'm not fat]], I'm losing the weight, and also so what if I vent about nearly at the end of each part of the Autism Tutorial? I have my own rights too, I'm human, you're human, we're all human! Alright? And don't go lying that you're saying you're an alien... alright? Uh, lemme see what else, um...

Oh yeah and just uh, pretty much one minor update to the Autism dob- feel for my own personal experience... [[Autism|constant mental blankouts]]. My mind just blanks out at random from... I mean, typically... from... [[Chris and English|overzealous]] amount of [[Stress|stress and anxiety]] from life and everything... I mean, it's pretty much typical, most people I have learned... but to my knowl- I would guess, feel free, but not to be insulting, feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken, cause I have also taken medications that quell my anxieties and stress so I don't... end up with heart attacks and whatnot... crazy life. [''sigh''] Anywho, self aware, all that, that's all fair... Hmm...

I wa- I originally wanted to uh, stream this through my... [''unintelligible''] -Little Big Planet through muplay [?] in my Vita, but unfortunately, to do 'share', while having the remote play enabled, it would not let me do that, cause then I would have the ability to uh, view the tutorial down here, and kept constant eye contact with the camera where I have it located versus originally where it was on top of the monitor, and where the... animation is being made, that I'm playing it on right now. Hmm.

Alright, so with that, let's go online and find the update... Find the Autism Tutorial as updated... in an adventure map. Hmm. [''To narrator''] I know he has a job to do, but do I have to have him repeating himself... as I go along? Anyway, it was quite a painstaking effort to get all this updated, so I could put it all in an adventure map, and in a clockwise ori- order... so then the parts could be viewed individually later, but more importantly so they could all be streamed through, seamlessly, so I would not have to... click the X pl- button in between parts... Except for, to go from, part six to the extra part, with the mock interview.

Alright, so with all that aside, um, here's the uh, tutorial, and I'm commenting.

==Part 2==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|PefOoBzKB34}}
| stardate = 20 [[March 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
|subject= {{Galpals|text}}
| shirt = lilac T-shirt
| previous =CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary
| next =CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary Part 3
}}
</center>

===Transcript===

{{Transcription}}
==Part 3==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary Part 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|96psss-r3lg}}
| stardate = 20 [[March 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
|subject= {{Galpals|text}}
| shirt = lilac T-shirt
| previous = CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary Part 2
| next =
}}
</center>

===Transcript===

{{Transcription}}
{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Extra]]|nextlink=n/a|}}
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

User talk:The cosmos

2016-03-17T10:40:27Z

Boomhauer:

You're a hero for correcting all those dead video links. --[[User:Acrylicpaint|Acrylicpaint]] ([[User talk:Acrylicpaint|talk]]) 21:44, 2 February 2016 (UTC)
:This, very much. Thank you very much. [[User:Canine|Canine]] ([[User talk:Canine|talk]]) 01:23, 17 March 2016 (UTC)
::I third that. Thanks, pal! -[[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 11:39, 17 March 2016 (UTC)

User talk:The cosmos

2016-03-17T10:39:06Z

Boomhauer:

You're a hero for correcting all those dead video links. --[[User:Acrylicpaint|Acrylicpaint]] ([[User talk:Acrylicpaint|talk]]) 21:44, 2 February 2016 (UTC)
:This, very much. Thank you very much. [[User:Canine|Canine]] ([[User talk:Canine|talk]]) 01:23, 17 March 2016 (UTC)
::I third that. Thanks, pal! [[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 11:39, 17 March 2016 (UTC)

Ruckersville, VA

2016-03-14T00:07:50Z

Boomhauer:

{{Quote|Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any [[Sweethearts|young adults]] hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any [[Chris and English|better or nicer]].|Ruckersville's most famous citizen.<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>}}

'''Ruckersville, Virginia''' is the home of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and the capital of all things [[Sonichu]]-related. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the [[Richmond]] suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], only to return in [[2000]].
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
| colspan="2"| [[Image:Ruckersville Aerial Map.jpg|250px]]
|-
| Location:
| Ruckersville, VA
|-
| Coordinates:
| [http://maps.google.ie/maps?ix=tea&oei=4gFBT8SvPM-EhQfd-s3KBQ&q=38%C2%B013%E2%80%B259%E2%80%B3+N,+78%C2%B022%E2%80%B209%E2%80%B3+W&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x89b4720e575f8437:0x67ceca4bec34b85b,%2B38%C2%B0+13'+59.33%22,+-78%C2%B0+22'+8.96%22&gl=ie&ei=4wFBT9m_CsS3hQeRlJXTBQ&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CB8Q8gEwA 38°13′59″ N, 78°22′09″ W]
|-
| Classification:
| Census-designated place
|-
| Established:
| [[Pre-1980|1732]]
|-
| Population:
| 1,141 ([[2011]])
|-
| ZIP code:
| 22968
|-
| Area code:
| 434
|-
| Website:
| Unavailable
|}

== The Brochure ==
Ruckersville, [[Virginia]] is a small census-designated place on the outskirts of [[Charlottesville, VA]]. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, the town has changed very little. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to [[Chandlers|raise a family]] or [[Bob Chandler|quietly retire]].

==The Truth==
[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the internet]], there is literally nothing worthy of note in Ruckersville.]]

It's a redneck shithole full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. A place where [[Barbara Chandler|people]] hoard their trash and decorate their yards with [[Son-Chu|junked cars]], and where the human disasters we know as the [[Chandler Family Tree|Chandlers]] can exist relatively unnoticed. Given its tiny population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of [[14 Branchland Court|recognizable landmarks]] or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver [[Tobacky|Phillip Morris]]. The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris perfectly, as it gives him one more excuse to never leave [[Chris's room|his room]], let alone get a [[job]].

Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could squander the remainder of his life in a time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days.

==Geography==
The geography of Ruckersville is incredibly plain; composed mainly of fields, light forest, and small housing developments extending from the larger town of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is boring, although the [[A Hike|Blue Ridge Mountains]] are a short drive away.

The township is also far from any real civilization: about 100 miles (160 km) from [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]], 16 miles (26 km) from [[Charlottesville]] and 77 miles (123 km) from [[Richmond]].

==Crime==
Crime rates in Ruckersville are unsurprisingly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to [[Chris and the Law|commit his various misdemeanors]], and likely so are any other criminals living here.

==Culture==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What's culture?]]

==Ground Zero==
It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a ''Google Street View'' of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply [[Stress|did not care]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ruckersville_Aerial_Map.jpg|Aerial shot of the shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red icon.
Image:14 branchland court gmaps.png|A closeup view of where the magic happens.
Image:Goin_to_Ruckersville.jpg|Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. ''Wow''!
Image:Ruckersville_Church.jpg|And no cookie cutter suburb is complete without replaceable block-letter church signs! (No relation to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]).
Image:Story_of_Ruckersville.jpg|Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a moronic man-child.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[14 Branchland Court]]
*[[Charlottesville, VA]]
*[[Chris's room]]
*[[DayOut]]
*[[Ruckersville Fire Department]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Ruckersville,_Virginia|Wikipedia article]]
*[http://www.virginia.org/Cities/Ruckersville/ Tourism info]
*[https://www.google.ca/maps/place/Ruckersville,+VA+22968,+USA/@38.1983145,-78.5129084,11z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x89b4721b1fc3b627:0x4eee8a3bf4546cf9/ Google Street Map View]
{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

2016

2016-03-14T00:06:56Z

Boomhauer:

[[File:0116.png|thumb|Chris in January]]
'''2016''' is currently the eighth year of organized trolling. Chris barely makes it out of jail with the [[26 December 2014|GameStop incident]] that has been the main subject of last year, with Chris now serving probation.

He has recently tried to organize a lesbian party, but has now privatized it to a privileged few.

As of January, due to a mix of neglect and his traditional lack of self respect, his [[hair|hair]] now resembles a dying, green dish rag [[Chris and health|which only emboldens his rapidly-receding skullet.]]

[[File:CWC34.png|thumb|left|Chris in February]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Timeline}} [[Category:Chronology]]

Main Page

2016-03-13T19:36:20Z

Boomhauer: Undo revision 196578 by Jeff Ouzos (talk) Ha.

{| id="mp-topbanner" style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;"
| style="width:100%; color:#000;" |

{| style="width:100%; border:none; background:none;"
| style="width:50%; text-align:center; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;" |
<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The [[TRUE and HONEST]] encyclopedia about [[Christian Weston Chandler]].</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''WHERE NO [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|SHIT]] IS TOO [[Duck|MINOR]]! ''</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles...and counting!</div>
|}

| style="width:50%; font-size:100%;" |
[[File:CWCiki Introduction.jpg]]
|}


{| id="mp-tfp" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:100%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top; color:#000;"|
{| cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff; color:#000; width:100%"
! <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em">Quote of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | {{Quote of the now}}
|}
|}


{| id="mp-tfp" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:100%; border:1px solid #EEDC82; background:#FFE4B5; vertical-align:top; color:#000;"|
{| cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background:#FFE4B5; color:#000; width:100%"
| style="color:#000;" | {{Check this out}}
|}
|}


{| id="mp-upper" style="margin:0 0 0 0; background:none;"
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:55%; border:1px solid #cef2e0; background:#f5fffa; vertical-align:top; color:#000;" |
{| id="mp-left" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#f5fffa;"
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Article of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Article of the now}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">This Day in Christory</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Christory}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did You Know...</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Did you know}}</div>
|}
| style="border:1px solid transparent;" |

| class="MainPageBG" style="width:45%; border:1px solid #cedff2; background:#f5faff; vertical-align:top;"|
{| id="mp-right" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#f5faff;"
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Da Update</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Da update}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">PSN Tracker</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{PSNTracker}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">CWCki News</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{CWCki News}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Improvement Project of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Improvement}}</div>
|}
|}
{| id="mp-lower" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"


| class="MainPageBG" style="width:55%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top;"|
{| id="mp-left" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff;"
| <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Picture of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Picture of the now}}</div>
|}
| style="border:1px solid transparent;" |

| class="MainPageBG" style="width:45%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top;"|
{| id="mp-right" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff;"
| <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em">Video of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Video of the now}}</div>
|}
|}


__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__

[[Category:Special]]

Template:Article of the now

2016-03-13T12:37:43Z

Boomhauer:

[[File:PlayStation-4.jpg|left|200px]]

The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on [[November 2013|November 15th, 2013]].

In [[February 2016]], [[Chris]] requested one such console for his 34th [[birthday]]. Needless to say, he did not receive it. However, it was later revealed that Chris had in fact acquired the game console, citing a [[Fan|true and loyal fan]] as the one who sent it - albeit further investigations point to the possibility that Chris purchased it for himself and made up a person for [[Autism|whatever reason]].

Only time will tell if Chris truly received the console as a gift, or is simply trying to ruse us.

('''[[PlayStation 4|Read more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a way of displaying some of the better quality articles on the CWCki. It is not usually the article that describes the most recent Chris-related event, though it often can be. Suggestions for new articles to be displayed here can be discussed either on [[Template_talk:Article_of_the_now|this template's talk page]], or on the [[CWCki:Community Portal‎]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Template:ListOfVideos/2016

2016-03-11T23:09:26Z

Boomhauer:

*'''[[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement.]]''' ''06 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(0:50)</small> {{Sex}} {{Homos}} {{Reason}} {{Crazy}}<br/> Chris transparently tries to net himself china by announcing a sleepover at his house.

*'''[[Update 01/12/2016]]''' ''12 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(3:09)</small> {{Trollsicon}} {{Rage}} {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris pouts enviously because someone else is holding a lesbian sleepover party.

*'''[[Update 1/17/2016]]''' ''17 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(2:01)</small> {{Trollsicon}} {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris passive-aggressively expresses his rage and envy about Francine Ouzuo having a lesbian slumber party exactly like his

*'''[[Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.]]''' ''22 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(6:11)</small> {{Reason}}<br/> Chris discusses a few new items for his Etsy shop.

*'''[[Update 1/25/2016]]''' ''25 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(2:03)</small> {{Reason}}<br/> Chris claims snow is delaying delivery of orders, and reads a poem sent in by a fan.

*'''[[Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever]]''' ''25 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(2:50)</small> {{Reason}}<br/> Chris clarifies that he is not, in fact, PewDiePie.

*'''[[Apologies for offending people]]''' ''12 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(3:38)</small> {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris apologizes for offending people. To whom he's actually apologizing to is unknown.

*'''[[Welcome to the LGBTQ Group, Julia]]''' ''16 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(0:51)</small> {{Reason}} {{Homos}}<br/> Chris welcomes Julia to the LGBTQ group.

*'''[[Update 02/16/2016]]''' ''16 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(7:24)</small> {{Reason}}<br/> Chris talks about how he plans on doing a livestream if someone gives him a PS4.

*'''[[Update: 2/25/16]]''' ''25 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(7:57)</small> {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris complains about not getting what he wanted for his birthday.

*'''[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]''' ''26 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(1:54)</small> {{Crazy}} {{Leaked}}<br/> Chris shows us his recently frozen [[semen]].

*'''[[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]''' ''28 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(4:02)</small> {{Trollsicon}} {{Rage}} {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris denounces Francine for selling merchandise based on Chris's infamous catchphrases.

*'''[[Sonichu's First PS4 Broadcast]]''' ''6 [[March 2016]]'' <small>(3:39)</small> {{Comedy}} {{Reason}}<br/> Chris test-drives the new Playstation Camera he received from Kagney Lynn Moore.

*'''[[Happy Birthday Tom]]''' ''6 [[March 2016]]'' <small>(1:17)</small> {{Comedy}} {{Crazy}}<br/> Chris wishes a late birthday to Thomas, which takes the form of a terrible Master Shake impression and shaking some amiibos around.

Template:ListOfVideos/2016

2016-03-11T23:08:58Z

Boomhauer:

*'''[[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement.]]''' ''06 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(0:50)</small> {{Sex}} {{Homos}} {{Reason}} {{Crazy}}<br/> Chris transparently tries to net himself china by announcing a sleepover at his house.

*'''[[Update 01/12/2016]]''' ''12 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(3:09)</small> {{Trollsicon}} {{Rage}} {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris pouts enviously because someone else is holding a lesbian sleepover party.

*'''[[Update 1/17/2016]]''' ''17 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(2:01)</small> {{Trollsicon}} {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris passive-aggressively expresses his rage and envy about Francine Ouzuo having a lesbian slumber party exactly like his

*'''[[Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.]]''' ''22 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(6:11)</small> {{Reason}}<br/> Chris discusses a few new items for his Etsy shop.

*'''[[Update 1/25/2016]]''' ''25 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(2:03)</small> {{Reason}}<br/> Chris claims snow is delaying delivery of orders, and reads a poem sent in by a fan.

*'''[[Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever]]''' ''25 [[January 2016]]'' <small>(2:50)</small> {{Reason}}<br/> Chris clarifies that he is not, in fact, PewDiePie.

*'''[[Apologies for offending people]]''' ''12 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(3:38)</small> {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris apologizes for offending people. To whom he's actually apologizing to is unknown.

*'''[[Welcome to the LGBTQ Group, Julia]]''' ''16 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(0:51)</small> {{Reason}} {{Homos}}<br/> Chris welcomes Julia to the LGBTQ group.

*'''[[Update 02/16/2016]]''' ''16 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(7:24)</small> {{Reason}}<br/> Chris talks about how he plans on doing a livestream if someone gives him a PS4.

*'''[[Update: 2/25/16]]''' ''25 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(7:57)</small> {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris complains about not getting what he wanted for his birthday.

*'''[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]''' ''26 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(1:54)</small> {{Crazy}}<br/> Chris shows us his recently frozen [[semen]].

*'''[[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]''' ''28 [[February 2016]]'' <small>(4:02)</small> {{Trollsicon}} {{Rage}} {{Tragedy}}<br/> Chris denounces Francine for selling merchandise based on Chris's infamous catchphrases.

*'''[[Sonichu's First PS4 Broadcast]]''' ''6 [[March 2016]]'' <small>(3:39)</small> {{Comedy}} {{Reason}}<br/> Chris test-drives the new Playstation Camera he received from Kagney Lynn Moore.

*'''[[Happy Birthday Tom]]''' ''6 [[March 2016]]'' <small>(1:17)</small> {{Comedy}} {{Crazy}}<br/> Chris wishes a late birthday to Thomas, which takes the form of a terrible Master Shake impression and shaking some amiibos around.

Chris's Specimen Sample

2016-03-11T23:05:46Z

Boomhauer:

{{Honest}}

'''[[Chris]]'s [[Semen|Specimen]] Sample''', titled "horrible" by the uploader, is a video that was leaked on [[February 2016|February 27, 2016]] to the Kiwi Farms by Marvin. In this video, we see Chris walk up stairs to his [[kitchen]], which is notably more cleaner than usual, and pull out his [[Semen|"specimen"]] in a tupperware box from a freezer. What Chris doesn't realize is that by throwing samples of [[navy]] into a standard freezer, the ice crystals created ruined any cells in the samples, thus making them useless.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = horrible
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ULDGgv35otw}}
| stardate = 26 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt =
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Update: 2/25/16]]
| next = [[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''Chris is sitting on his bed.''

'''Chris''' : Hello [smark and Ellie?] this is- I'm Christine Chandler.

''[[Pollo]] comes to investigate, and wanders in front of the camera.''

'''Chris''' : [indecipherable baby-speak to the cat]

'''Chris''' : Anyway so, this is me and uh I'm the one who's uh ([[Speech Impediment|gonferna litmus?]]) sperm out put a- put a fresh sample earlier today I put it in the fridge upstairs which I'll gladly go upstairs and show you in a moment.

'''Chris''' : I guess I am a lesbian [[Transformers|transform man]] [transwoman?] and I have I been famous write characters and books and whatnot for over a decade.

'''Chris''' : This is everything says true and I think I regret [would be things?] I've recorded in the past blackmailed into doing or against my original will that would never do personally or regularly.

'''Chris''' : Let's go upstairs and I'll show y'all.

''[Chris gets off his enourmous ass and walks up the stairs, camera pointed at his [[manboobs]] most of the way.]''

''[Chris opens the freezer and pulls out a Tupperware container with a white, frozen mass sitting at the bottom.]''

'''Chris''' : Yeah- here's- uh, the sample I put down today, labeled it carefully. You can tell it's not as frozen yet compared to the older samples.

'''Chris''' : Yeah, that was like less than a year ago.

''(Chris faces camera, smug expression on his [[Tomgirl|not-remotely-feminine]] face)''

'''Chris''' : Yeah well that's all very well and good and everything so hopefully y'all will [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|all consider me for your donor]].

'''Chris''' : Thank you and have a good day.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]

Semen

2016-03-11T23:00:38Z

Boomhauer:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
[[Image:CWCcomeuppancemedallion.JPG|thumb|right|250px|The closest [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] will ever get to touching the [[Medallion|Medallion of Fail]].]]

'''Semen''' is a fluid secreted in the [[pickle]]s of males, used primarily to impregnate females, or to simply release while [[mass debating]]. [[Chris]] has many misconceptions about its purpose and function.

Despite being "[[honest]]" about [[sex]], Chris is sometimes uncomfortable saying "semen" and occasionally uses his own unique bowdlerized terms, shown below.

==Comeuppance==
In the context of sex (especially oral) with his [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[sweetheart]], Chris refers to ejaculation as "comeuppance," as seen here:

{{quote|Uh, it just feels so good, unngghh, and because me being a [[virgin]], I would let you keep your mouth over my penis and then sooner than expected, I '''feel my comeuppance''' and I come into your mouth, my semen is inside your mouth and you'd swallow every drop.|Chris, "My First Time"<ref name="Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted">[[Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!|Chris, [[Kacey Phone Call]]}}

Chris presumably coined the term because a) ejaculate is called "cum (or 'come')", b) it goes "up" when it comes out of his bent [[duck]], and c) he's an [[autism|idiot]]. However, this created a shitstorm when his sex tapes dropped, because [[Wikipedia:Webster's Dictionary|Webster's]] defines comeuppance as "a deserved rebuke or penalty."<ref>http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/comeuppance</ref> While Chris most likely heard this word and thought it would make a clever euphemism for "cum", the true meaning and its context seems to suggest an eerie [[Wikipedia:Freudian slip|Freudian slip]].

==Navy==
Another stupid euphemism he uses for semen is "navy". This is presumably a pun off the word "seamen", who often serve in the Navy.

==A tasty treat==
[[File:GotMilk.jpg|thumb|200px|No caption is necessary.]]

Chris believes that whatever he eats changes the flavor of semen, which may have some basis in fact.<ref>http://ezinearticles.com/?Sperm-Taste---10-Simple-Tips-For-Better-Tasting-Semen&id=164106</ref> However, what makes this ridiculous is that Chris thinks his semen will taste ''exactly'' like whatever he eats. He has indicated that he would strive for flavored comeuppance so his sweetheart/cum dumpster would savor the taste. In the sex tape audio, Chris presented the following scenario to [[PandaHalo]]:

{{quote|I would have eaten so much chocolate, that day beforehand, and it would taste so yummy to you, probably like white chocolate. You'd swallow that.|Chris<ref name="Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted"/>}}

In subsequent chats with [[Julie]], this fantasy was revised so that his comeuppance would taste like strawberries.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Coincidentally, sweets and other unhealthy foods are known to make semen taste even worse than usual. Chocolate is one of the worst offenders.

==Recycling==
{{quote|Mmm! Goes down salty.|Chris<ref>Chris's Big Night Out</ref>}}

Another tidbit revealed in the sex tapes was that when Chris mass debates, he makes sure to ejaculate into a [[Fapcup|plastic cup]], to avoid making a mess.<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#Chris on Masturbation and the Sex Joke]]</ref> Shortly after this news broke, talk began to grow that Chris actually drinks from this cup.

The initial assumption, given Chris's hard stance on [[homos]], was that Chris was a devout, fundamentalist Christian and therefore had a rigid interpretation of the Biblical story of [[Wikipedia:Onan|Onan]]<ref>http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2205/what-exactly-was-the-sin-of-onan</ref> (This was before we found out Chris [[Chris and religion|wouldn't know anything about the Bible]] unless he heard it on ''[[Family Guy]]''). Eventually the real reason was discovered: Chris believes that by ingesting his own sperm he can "recycle" it, so that none of his potential children are lost, and so that his "semen count" (presumably he meant "sperm count") remains high, as though everyone is born with a finite number of sperm that they can eventually run out of if they don't swallow more.

For a time there was no concrete evidence to support this outrageous claim, so Chris wisely decided to confirm it as fact. Multiple times.

[21:08] [11:36:35 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: have you ever tasted your own semen
[21:08] [11:37:42 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: KEEP IT SECRET, but I actually have; I recycle my semen
until I get together with my Sweetheart (you) for the first time.
[21:08] [11:38:10 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: ohhhh.. so that's why you do it in a cup
[21:08] [11:38:38 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: yes; after recycle, I rinse the cup and dispose of it.
[21:10] [11:40:03 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: where did you come up with the idea of swallowing
your own semen to recycle it after you cummed? Was it on a sex site or your own idea?
[21:10] [11:40:13 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: MY OWN IDEA.
[21:12] [11:41:23 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: IMHO, it's often unsatisfying to me upon swallowing,
because it's not being truly enjoyed by my Sweetheart.

'''FACT''': If swallowing is "often unsatisfying" for Chris, that means that sometimes [[homos|it ''is'' satisfying]].

Not convinced? Try this:

{{quote|Uh, no, I don't think so, uh, because I've done that [drinking semen after masturbating], it's called "recycling it." Yeah, so it's basically recycling so, like uh, so he doesn't necessarily lose it. I mean, 'cause you know, if you think of it as a waste if you banged it out and then you, uh and then you flushed it down the commode or leave it in the condom in the garbage can...Though personally, I've been getting sick of swallowing my own, so lately I've been disposing of them.|Chris, [[Mumble 8|Mumble chat, 17 February 2009]]}}

[[Image:Recycle.jpg|thumb|right|Yes, he really does it...]]

''Still'' not convinced? Chris made a [[April 16 Fetish Vids|video]] for [[Ivy]] of himself drinking his jizz, which [[Clyde Cash]] leaked on 16 April 2009.<ref>http://www.slutload.com/watch/M20g7MWCNa5/Chris-chan-Fanta-and-Cum.html</ref> Chris had previously alleged that his semen would take on the flavor of any sort of fruits or sweets he recently consumed. So eating strawberries would lead to strawberry flavored semen and eating chocolate would lead to chocolate flavored semen. Ivy wanted him to test this theory. She requested he drink his semen and compare it to chocolate syrup. In the video, Chris explains that he doesn't have any chocolate milk [sic] handy. Instead, he mixed it with some orange Fanta, completely missing the point of her request was to compare the flavor.

Just to make sure everyone on Earth knows about it, Chris later made a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] admitting and justifying the existence of the cum-guzzling footage.

{{quote|I recycle my own semen, because, uh, you know, yes I do masturbate--I'm not ashamed to admit it--as a lot of guys, I'm sure, have done the same thing in their time. Anyway, uh, basically I--yeah, into the cup and--yeah, I recycle it. So that that way I won't lose any, uh, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|unborn]] [[Reginald Chandler|children]]. So then I can--then I can also still have a good number of...a good semen count. Keep maintain that by recycling it.|Chris, defending the rights of the unborn, 28 April 2009}}

Chris has some advice for all you men out there too:

{{quote|And depending on the taste of it, uh, to the original owners...of the--their respective semen, uh, it's a good idea to recycle, but if, uh, you don--if you don--if you feel uncomfortable, uh, doing it or it tastes bad to you, then, uh, then you don't have to do it.|Chris, [[Chris and his ego|giving everyone his permission to not swallow semen]], 28 April 2009}}

Questions remain about his recycling plan. If he doesn't want to lose even a single unborn child, does that mean he plans to eventually father millions of children? Is he really dumb enough to believe his navy will survive digestion? (That's a rhetorical question.) And what happens to the comeuppance he wants to leave in his sweetheart's mouth? Does that magically teleport back where it came from, or can women get pregnant from oral sex? The world may never know.

In the Kacey calls, Chris has also suggested interest in drinking his semen for arousal:

[[File:Heathchris.png|thumb|left|He's bad news.]]
[[File:Autographed Photo 9.jpg|thumb|Heaven in a can.]]
{{quote|And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!|Chris, [[Kacey Phone Call]], after describing how he would titfuck Kacey}}
{{Clear}}

In [[Mailbag 30]], Chris announced that he had [[Mailbag_30#Chris quit guzzling cum|kicked the habit]], although the validity of this statement is questionable at best, considering his [[List of Chris's lies|track record]] for telling the truth.

When [[Bob]] described a youthful adventure (c. [[Pre-1980#1940s|1948]]) from his youth to [[Emily]], Chris blurted out ''" I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!"''<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>, which implies that he believes the sperm cell that became him in mid-1981 had existed for over thirty years, and had presumably been ejaculated and recycled by his father many, many times. Although, some might argue that's the reason for Chris's [[Chris and Reality|insanity]] to this very day.

==Donation==
While Chris might have learned that swallowing semen has no effect on sperm count, he remains concerned about his fertility and how to maintain it. This unease became acute in 2014 when he realized that he had a "female soul," and became obsessed with getting a sex-change operation. While he wanted to become a woman as soon as possible, he would first need to produce his God-promised daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. This required him to find an external receptacle for his sperm, either a medical facility or a surrogate mother. Deeply confused as usual, he either believed that he would still have pseudo-parental rights after the donation; or he cared only about fulfilling God's promise, not actual maternal responsibilities.

What made this transition even more urgent was the collapse of his relationship with [[Catherine]]. While the details are currently murky, the erosion of their relationship in the second week of October seems to have convinced him that she might not become his [[Sweetheart]] and be willing to bear Crystal. Therefore, he would need to find an alternative route to Crystal's conception, and fast, so that he could lop off his Ugly Growth as soon as possible.

Chris therefore made several efforts to donate his sperm, all of which failed. Some time in the fall, he applied to be a sperm donor at Fairfax Cryobank. His application was rejected on 12 November, which he revealed on Facebook a week later. Typically, he blamed the facility for discriminating against autistic individuals, denying that autism is a hereditary disease.

{{quote|There is no such thing as a 100% healthy individual with 100% healthy DNA, so the sperm bank is lying to its recipients when they "guarantee" their sperm. There is no way to reliably figure out which combinations of DNA from sperm and egg will likely give which results. Everybody is carrying something; so why discriminate against me, and by extension, other autistic people?

Their whole "your DNA is no good- begone!" explanation is utter bullshit.|Chris, Facebook, 20 November 2014<ref>[[November 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

Saddened, he turned to his gal-pal Renee, informing her, "My donor application got rejected. So, I'm stuck in searching for a woman to have my daughter (if not Catie)." He magnanimously decided against putting this burden on her, a woman he had known for about a month. "I would ask you, but you're going through a LOT right now, and I wouldn't want to bother you about it."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee E-mails]]</ref>

He then turned to '''VoyForums'''(http://www.voy.com), a nationwide free public message board. On 20 November he posted:

{{quotebox|
'''Date Posted:''' 00:30:39 11/20/14

'''Author:''' Christine Weston Chandler (Happy)

'''Subject:''' <3 Ruckersville/Charlottesville, VA, USA, able sperm donor for lesbian couples.

Hello, ladies. I am a female, lesbian soul, trapped in a born male body, or a Lesbian Transwoman, if you will. I want to help out in my LGBT community by dontating my essence to lesbian couples. It is Totally Awesome that y'all can legally marry in VA now. Anyhow, I am game for helping in Artificial or Natural (preferred) Insemination. I am a good person, and great in getting to know as well. I also would like to be an active parent for the child(ren), if permitted. I am a really caring individual. And I am very serious in my donating. Please, shoot me an email for your serious inquiries and whatnot; I will be happy to provide my more direct contact information via email in response as well.}}

Here we see that his desire to make a daughter conveniently overlaps with his fantasies of a three-way lesbian fuckfest and actually having a relationship.

In [[February 2016]], it was revealed that Chris had been storing his semen in plastic containers delicately located in his [[Honor roll|fridge]] for safe keeping.<ref>[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]</ref>

To date, no one has taken Chris up on his offer, and his sperm remains within his accursed male body.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[April 16 Fetish Vids]]

{{Love quest}}
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

March 2016

2016-03-11T10:49:07Z

Boomhauer:

Chris's Specimen Sample

2016-03-08T10:23:43Z

Boomhauer:

{{honest}}
{{Incomplete}}

'''[[Chris]]'s [[Semen|Specimen]] Sample''', titled "horrible" by the uploader, is a video that was leaked on [[February 2016|February 27, 2016]] to the Kiwi Farms by Marvin. In this video, we see Chris walk up stairs to his [[kitchen]], which is notably more cleaner than usual, and pull out his [[Semen|"speciman"]] in a tupperware box from a freezer.

==Description==
...

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = horrible
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ULDGgv35otw}}
| stardate = 26 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt =
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Update: 2/25/16]]
| next = [[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
'''Chris''' : Hello [smark and Ellie?] this is- I'm Christine Chandler.

'''Chris''' : [indecipherable baby-speak to the cat]

'''Chris''' : Anyway so, this is me and uh I'm the one who's uh ([[Speech Impediment|gonferna litmus?]]) sperm out put a- put a fresh sample earlier today I put it in the fridge upstairs which I'll gladly go upstairs and show you in a moment.

'''Chris''' : I guess I am a lesbian [[Transformers|transform man]] [transwoman?] and I have I been famous write characters and books and whatnot for over a decade.

'''Chris''' : This is everything says true and I think I regret [would be things?] I've recorded in the past blackmailed into doing or against my original will that would never do personally or regularly.

'''Chris''' : Let's go upstairs and I'll show y'all.

''(Chris gets off his fat ass and walks up the stairs, camera pointed at his [[manboobs]] most of the way.)''

''(Chris opens the freezer and pulls out a Tupperware container with something frozen in the bottom.)''

'''Chris''' : Yeah- here's- uh, the sample I put down today, labeled it carefully. You can tell it's not as frozen yet compared to the older samples.

'''Chris''' : Yeah, that was like less than a year ago.

''(Chris faces camera, smug expression on his [[Tomgirl|not-remotely-feminine]] face)''

'''Chris''' : Yeah well that's all very well and good and everything so hopefully y'all will [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|all consider me for your donor]].

'''Chris''' : Thank you and have a good day.

Chris's Specimen Sample

2016-03-07T23:01:49Z

Boomhauer:

<div class="boilerplate metadata" id="incomplete">
{| cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" style="background-color: #ffff88; border: 2px solid #00B7EB; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"
|-
| [[Image:Stress.jpg|120px| ]]
| <p style="text-align: center;">'''This section is still yet to be completed due to [[stress]].'''</p><p>We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this section will be completed as soon as possible, and more images added, at our own pace...''[[HONEST]]!''</p>
|-
|}</div>

'''[[Chris]]'s [[Semen|Specimen]] Sample''', titled "horrible" by the uploader, is a video that was leaked on [[February 2016|February 27, 2016]] to the Kiwi Farms by Marvin. In this video, we see Chris walk up stairs to his [[kitchen]], which is notably more cleaner than usual, and pull out his [[Semen|"speciman"]] in a tupperware box from a freezer.

==Description==
...

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris's Specimen Sample
| video = {{#ev:youtube}}
| stardate = 26 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt =
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update: 2/25/16]]
| next = [[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
.

Chris's Specimen Sample

2016-03-07T23:01:31Z

Boomhauer:

<div class="boilerplate metadata" id="incomplete">
{| cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" style="background-color: #ffff88; border: 2px solid #00B7EB; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"
|-
| [[Image:Stress.jpg|120px| ]]
| <p style="text-align: center;">'''This section is still yet to be completed due to [[stress]].'''</p><p>We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this section will be completed as soon as possible, and more images added, at our own pace...''[[HONEST]]!''</p>
|-
|}</div>

'''[[Chris]]'s [[Semen|Specimen]] Sample''', titled "horrible" by the uploader, is a video that was leaked on [[February 2016|February 27, 2016]] to the Kiwi Farms by Marvin. In this video, we see Chris walk up stairs to his [[kitchen]], which is notably more cleaner than usual, and pull out his [[Semen|"speciman"]] in a tupperware box from a freezer.

==Description==
...

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris's Specimen Sample
| video = {{#ev:youtube}}
| stardate = 26 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt =
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update: 02/25/2016]]
| next = [[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
.

Chris's Specimen Sample

2016-03-07T23:01:04Z

Boomhauer: What the hell happened to the video? I can't find it anywhere on YouTube.

<div class="boilerplate metadata" id="incomplete">
{| cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" style="background-color: #ffff88; border: 2px solid #00B7EB; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"
|-
| [[Image:Stress.jpg|120px| ]]
| <p style="text-align: center;">'''This section is still yet to be completed due to [[stress]].'''</p><p>We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this section will be completed as soon as possible, and more images added, at our own pace...''[[HONEST]]!''</p>
|-
|}</div>

'''[[Chris]]'s [[Semen|Specimen]] Sample''', titled "horrible" by the uploader, is a video that was leaked on [[February 2016|February 27, 2016]] to the Kiwi Farms by Marvin. In this video, we see Chris walk up stairs to his [[kitchen]], which is notably more cleaner than usual, and pull out his [[Semen|"speciman"]] in a tupperware box from a freezer.

==Description==
...

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris's Specimen Sample
| video = {{#ev:youtube}}
| stardate = 26 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt =
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 02/25/2016]]
| next = [[Jeff is Beyond Denouced.]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
.

Jeff is Beyond Denounced.

2016-03-07T22:57:29Z

Boomhauer:

"'''Jeff is Beyond Denounced.'''" was a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 28 [[February 2016]]. In it, the ongoing tension between Chris and Jeff/Francine Ouzuo comes to something of a head, as Chris calls them a "bastard" and reviews the various merchandise Ouzuo claims to be offering in the near future. The merchandise is generally themed around prominent Chris memes such as [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] and [[She Came for CWC]]. Chris denounces it all as "low-brow" and "offensive", despite it all being based on things Chris has done or said. One shirt features nothing more than Chris's own drawing of Sonichu and Rosechu in an intimate moment, to which Chris reacts with an "ick".

Chris's tone in this video is characteristically whiny and pouty, this seeming to be the way in which his anger is expressed of late. As usual, he attempts a feminine voice at the beginning of the video, as well as a "flattering" angle of his boobs, but the female facade is eroded as Chris becomes angrier, and by the time he is reacting to the Ouzuo merchandise, he sounds like the same old male Chris he always was. He refers to Ouzuo, apparently a male-to-female transgender (which Chris also claims to be), [[Hypocrisy|exclusively by their male name of Jeff and with male pronouns]].

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Jeff is Beyond Denounced.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nRfhty2vmxw}}
| stardate = 28 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}} {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = Blue T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
| next = [[Happy Pokémon Day.]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
[''Chris is seated, recording on his iPhone. A camera stabilization effect is applied.'']

'Ello everyone, and welcome to a short special edition of eh, one of my videos here on the CWCvilleGuardian channel, and, uh, right now we are talking about about, eh, f—yes, the copycat... Jeff Ouzos. Yeah. So anyway, apparently... he is d—apparently he is defin—is definitely doing something with the ugly memes that I in no... way or matter [''Chris takes off his glasses''] agree to, authorize or represent at all, and clothing/attire items of m—of, uh, are coming soon, and prototypes in the works of my associal—my associates and I.

Anyway, uh, so let's uh, take a look at some of these, and I—mmm. Anyway, I definitely denounce everything there is with ''Jeff''. [''Chris pouts, turning up his glasses.''] I mean, he's still—I mean, I never actually considered him a friend, more like an acquaintance, but after his behavior over the past—more recently, and everything and whatnot, just a total bastard. [''Chris shakes his head''] But anyway, you want everything authentic, you buy from me directly on, onl—on the shops that I inform y'all about through this YouTube channel and my Facebook page.

Alright, so with that, we shall look at the m—the poor taste items that, uh, Jeff is ''soon'' to be, quote unquote, offering". Mmm. [''Chris moves the camera around''] Can I get this thing to—hmm, well—uhh. Oh well. [''Chris focuses in on a PS Vita, which displays an image of a red top labeled "MAN BOOBS".''] Alright, so hopefully y'all can see that clear as day w—with my... camera here. I can't see it from the back. Anyways, so yeah. That's uh, I do not—that has uh, one of the ugly memes that I in no way represent, at all. I really detest the memes. M-E-M-E-S. Especially these [''unintelligble''] offensive ones.

[''Chris scrolls down to a white thong with a red scissors symbol, captioned "ugly growth".''] And... right. There's that.

[''Chris scrolls to a flesh-colored undergarment labeled "[[Dirty, Crapped Briefs]]" with a feces symbol.''] [''[[Stress sigh|sigh]]''] Darnit.

[''Chris scrolls to a red t-shirt labeled "[[ShecameforCWC.jpg|SHE CAME FOR CWC]]"''] Ick. Very ick.

[''Quickly scrolls past mug labeled "WARNING: Contents may contain Navy"''] And skip the mug there, that one was really bad.

[''White t-shirt of Sonichu having intercourse with Rosechu, as depicted in the comic''] Ick.

[''Black hoodie with grey sleeves, labeled "PVCC" with the [[:File:MaryWantsIt.JPG|naked picture of Mary Lee Walsh Chris drew]]''] Eh, really ick. I'm sure PVCC ''would'' complain about this one.

[''Pink-purple shirt labeled "You know what I love? [[Jackie E-mails 30|CAKE FARTS]]" , with a small image of cake in the middle''] And, cake farts, ihhh.

[''Grey t-shirt labeled "MAN BABY" with image of Chris naked''] Ehh. Really really bad taste. Euughh.

[''White cell phone case with red text reading "[[26 December 2014|DON'T CALL ANYBODY]]" with pepperspray can''] And I don't like this one at all. Really bad.

[''Chris shifts the camera back to himself.''] But my products have in no way—any of these malcontent or offensive content whatsoever. These are definitely ro—low-brow, what I just showed you, my thoughts are definitely not only authentic and personally authorized, but [''Chris puts his finger against his head''] the opposite of low-brow. So much better than that, okay? Alright, so I'll let you all go with that, minor thing, another update'll be coming shortly tonight, something more on a pleasant topic. Thank you and have a good night.

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Update: 2/25/16

2016-03-07T22:56:06Z

Boomhauer:

"'''Update: 2/25/16'''" was, unsurprisingly, uploaded by [[Chris]] on 25 [[February 2016]] (one day after [[Christian Love Day|he turned 34]]).

His attempt to get people to buy a [[Sony|PS4]] for him predictably failed; instead, people sent him several gift cards with no money on them (as well as a non-winning lottery ticket, which some have said is a perfect metaphor for Chris's life). Instead of being grateful that people sent him anything at all, he instead whines about not getting what he wanted like a [[Borb|spoilt child]], even ending the video with a petulant "thanks for nothing".

What caught many Christorians off guard was that Chris seems to have [[Chris and his ego|seriously]] [[Chris and reality|expected]] a stranger to throw hundreds of dollars at him for no reason other than that it was his birthday and he asked for it, with such confidence he would be obliged that not receiving a PS4 seems to have [[Crash into slumber|shocked him into a depressive state]]. These implicit assumptions are troubling as they indicate that months of receiving payments of as much as $1000 in exchange for little to no effort on his part have only worsened his already devastating entitlement issues. In light of this, there is perhaps no greater gift anyone could have given Chris this year than nothing at all.

He also seems to have taken [[CatKnight Interview 3|Arthur Spatchcock's advice]], and gave the fans the official voices of cartoon-adapted [[Comic Chris|Comic Christine]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] within this video. Finally the fans know what Sonichu's real voice is, and of course, it's pretty much Chris', but somehow even more [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb]].

He also gets mad at ''[[South Park]]: The Stick of Truth'' because Cartman repeatedly calls the player character a "douchebag" (which Chris [[Autism|takes as a personal insult]]) - ignoring the fact that Cartman has always been characterized as an [[Chris|obnoxious jackass]], and that this is far from the worst thing he has done (c.f. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Tenorman_Must_Die "Scott Tenorman Must Die"], which [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails#Aftermath|he has referenced before]]).

[[Random-access humor]] and [[Donald Duck impersonation|horrible impersonations]] also return, most of which are curtailed from [[CWC 3D Voice Check|two of]] [[Cheesy!|his old]] [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]] (with the exception of Bing Bong from ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inside_Out_%282015_film%29 Inside Out]'').

==Description==
{{Quotebox|Watch, Subscribe, and Watch again for more videos, Only on Cwcville Guardian: the Official and Authentic Source for a lot about Sonichu, as well as the author herself, Christine Weston Chandler.

Voucher for Destiny White PS4 Bundle (no PS4 Camera required) Offer extended to March 5, 2016.

[[Etsy|http://www.etsy.com/shop/CwcvilleShop...]]

Coupon Code: FEB241982

Free Sonichu #4 Book with purchase of CWC Figure(s) (see earlier video for details; Expires March 17, 2016)}}

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update: 2/25/16
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-xm2o4rDrmg}}
| stardate = 25 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}} {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = Pink T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 02/16/2016]]
| next = [[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''[Chris drops something on his desk as the video starts. Worth noting is that both the [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are on his desk.]''

Hello, and welcome to another day... 'ere on the CwcvilleGuardian channel... ''[sigh]'' Christine Chandler here... alright, so... Mm. ''[Chris begins fiddling with his glasses]'' Aight, so yesterday was my 34th birthday... um... I ''have'' re''ceived''... and I... do ''not'' pro''mote'' such dishonesty... Gift cards that have... no activation... and no value or money on them at all. And also, I have received... another... piece of mail. This one had... a scratched-off lottery ticket that was ''not''--that was clearly not a winner. ''[Chris licks his lips]'' Alright?

And I certainly did not receive a PlayStation 4 console... [[Chris and English|even much less]] the white one with the ''Destiny'' game and all that... Still, I move forward, so... mm.

''[Chris reaches for something off-camera]''

But let's do something different today!

''[Chris pulls back, revealing he was reaching for [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Post 2011 Christine Weston Chandler Amiibo Figure (from Original Creator)|his tomgirl self-insert amiibo]].]''

Okay, a little voice acting.

''[Chris grabs all three of the amiibo on his desk, then sets Rosechu down.]''

Alright, so it's a cartoon series, I would definitely be voicing myself and Sonichu, and this is what he'd sound like--mm.

''[Chris rocks the figures back and forth as they "speak".]''

'''Christine:''' Hey, Sonichu, what's new?

'''Sonichu:''' ''[sounding like Chris's regular voice, only slightly higher pitched]'' Hey, mama, whatchu ''know?'' I'm doing OK with my wife, Rosey. ''[Chris slides her figure slightly closer to the others.]''

'''Rosechu:''' ''[in falsetto]'' Hello!

''[Chris breaks character for a moment]''

I'd get a femal-- I'd get a fem... woman to voice Rosechu for real. I don't know, somebody that sounds like... or similar ''to''... I dunno maybe, [[Britney Spears]] or... Katy Perry, or... hell, Meghan Trainor. I like her voice too. Mm.

''[Chris resumes voice acting]''

'''Christine:''' ''Ennnh'' yeah, yesterday was my [[birthday]]! So... I had low expectations for it, and I didn't get much about it... except... pretty much... birthday greetings, word of mouth, AND I had to buy my own cupcakes!

'''Sonichu:''' ''[Chris's regular voice]'' Oh that's a sha-- ''[slips back into "Sonichu" voice]'' Ohhh that's a shame, man! Mom! That's a shame, mom! Enh... Oh well! You get older, you find that people are not gonna care... as much about ya.

'''Christine:''' Enh... They only care about you on your own... ''[Chris slams figure of himself face first into desk]'' death bed. ''[flips figure to lie face up on desk, starts spinning it around]'' So that's ''anurr'' year on the old odometer. ''[inhales somewhat disgustedly, picks figure of himself upright again, and starts screeching while wobbling figure back and forth]''

'''Sonichu:''' ''[unintelligible, though clearly adding to Christine's screeching]''

'''Christine:''' ''[more screeching]''

''[licks lips as he finishes voice acting]''

Yeah. ''[blows a soft, sad raspberry]''

Hmm. Alright, um... also, um, those of you who have been watching my [[Playstation Network]] activity, you'd notice I've ha-had to go through my whole disk library once again, just because I've ended up having to... reformat my hard drive... after I... because of a corrupted... ''firmware file'' on it, that's... upsetting, but I've got that settled and fixed and... all the... games have been reinstalled and the DLC re-downloaded and everything, so... mm, ''[dissolves to gibberish]'' meh bdep blep bleh.

''[sigh]''

And yet, still no PS... 4! 'Cause I need to... catch back up! In the technology and everything. ''[sigh]'' Although, last night I did pu-- I did, uh-- I had-- already had purchased it on current, a copy of South Park: Stick of Truth. It's pretty good... the onl-- my only d-- the only downside that I really... did not like was, uh... actually two things. Could not be a girl! So I had to make the ''boy'' look like a girl. So that's one way of promoting being a transwoman. You dress up the new kid as a girl! And that wor-- And that works out. Mm.

And then also-- second part, I really... don't-- I really do not care for Cartman's attitude as well... and... it's not funny at all. ''[stammers]'' Y-yo-eh... You-- I enter my name as the character name, and get-- then he calls me... "Douchebag!" ''[shakes head disapprovingly]'' Seriously, Cartman... ''[raises voice, noticeably agitated]'' I'm the player! I'm gonna make progress in this game! ''[starts bashing figure of himself against desk as he rants]'' So don't you dare call me... a ''douchebag''! ''[slams figure one last time, pauses seeming to calm down]''

Ehh, well... ''[exhales frustratedly through pursed lips]'' and y'know... meanwhile... what else? ''[struggles to think of topics to discuss]'' What else, what else? ''[small sigh]'' Ahh, what else? ''[pause]'' What else?

I don't know much else, my brain's gone blank. Unngh... I have so much inside if-- built, poked[?] and pent up to my life, so it's no wonder my mind is constantl-- is constantly off and on blank. ''[blows small raspberry]''

Enngh... I'm sorry I can't b-- I'm sorry I'm... not so funny, but... if I ca-- if I don't feel it, then it just doesn't come up... as easily.

Oh well! In a trial of being funny... [playful voice] And now for some [[Random Access Humor|random, silly things]]!

''[pause as he thinks]''

Hey look, a monkey. Hi, monkey! Aaaaaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane![?]

''[Chris repeats it, because it was so good the first time]''

Hi, monkey! Aaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane!

''[long pause]''

It's plays out better in my head. It doesn't actually have characters.

Ehh, what else is there? Alright... well redoing vocal impressions.

And now here's Cheese from [[wikipedia:Foster's_Home_for_Imaginary_Friends|''Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends'']]:

''[grating, nasally voice]'' I like chocolate milk! Tinkle tinkle in the car, you should really use a jar! Prizes![?] I like cereal! I'm not a tampon! My name is Cheese! Do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again!

[lower voice] Autobots! Transform, and roll out! Ffff--

[restrained voice] I'm Meatwad, a ball of meat. Ffff--

[nasally voice, similar to last one] Egegegegegegegegeg. I speak Spanish, every day! Ffff--

[silly voice] Stop in the name of the law! Sorry about that chief!

[lower silly voice] [[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Idiots!]] ''[raspberry, starts singing tune]'' Nununununununununununununu.

[sings different tune] Bing Bong, Bing Bong, who's the friend that likes to play? ''[picks up figures and dances them around the desk]'' Bing Bong, Bing Bong, nanananananana! Bing Bong, Bing Bong, entertainment value! Bing Bong, Bing Bong... ''[peters out, keeps dancing figures around for a bit]''

Alright, well anyway... subscribe! Subscribe to my channel to get updates on... well, me, Sonichu, my store on [[Etsy]], Cwcville Shopping... and, uh... everything else nearly related, ''ourgh''-- or of interest.

''[sigh]''

I'm stuck in a... moody mode, so... oh well. Right, so... thanks for the mail and then... [[Chris and his ego|thanks for nothing]]! Alright. Well, be another update... in about a week or s-- week or... give or take. Have a good day, thank you.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris's Specimen Sample

2016-03-07T22:55:22Z

Boomhauer:

Chris's Specimen Sample

2016-03-07T22:54:49Z

Boomhauer:

<div class="boilerplate metadata" id="incomplete">
{| cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" style="background-color: #ffff88; border: 2px solid #00B7EB; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"
|-
| [[Image:Stress.jpg|120px| ]]
| <p style="text-align: center;">'''This section is still yet to be completed due to [[stress]].'''</p><p>We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this section will be completed as soon as possible, and more images added, at our own pace...''[[HONEST]]!''</p>
|-
|}</div>

Chris's [[Semen|Speciman]] Sample, titled "horrible" by the uploader, is a video that was leaked on [[February 2016|February 27, 2016]] to the Kiwi Farms by Marvin. In this video, we see Chris walk up stairs to his [[kitchen]], which is notably more cleaner than usual, and pull out his [[Semen|"speciman"]] in a tupperware box from a freezer.