CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:BreadGod

2015-05-22T23:27:08Z

BreadGod: Replaced content with "__NOTOC__ <div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">100px</div> {{Protip|Don't get beaten up by Andy Dick.}} {{collapsible|userboxe..."

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{{Protip|Don't get beaten up by Andy Dick.}}
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{{Warrior}}
{{Americunt}}
{{White}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{AssBurger}}
{{Armchair Psychologist}}
{{ClydeCash}}
{{Atheist}}
{{Hex-Box}}
{{PS3}}
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User talk:Trueandhonest

2010-12-01T00:01:53Z

BreadGod:

i CONTRIBUTE ALOT

i CONTRIBUTE ALOT

Could someone check this guy's IP to see if it's really Chris? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:01, 30 November 2010 (PST)

100 2278

2010-11-23T20:51:32Z

BreadGod:

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|Chris struggles even to hold on to the bar.]]
'''100 2278''' is a video [[Chris]] created on 12 [[October 2010]], leaked on 6 [[November 2010]]. Chris attempts to do pull-ups, but shortly after beginning, gives up and admits defeat due to his [[obesity|weight]]. This event marks a historic day in CWC history, as it is the first time we have witnessed Chris aknowledge that he is not in fact, super human.

__TOC__
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2278
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XWTsHUjAwl8}}
| stardate = 6 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ToJackie]]
| next = [[100 2357.MOV]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''We see Chris's hands and knees on top on a jungle gym.'']

[''Chris hangs from a bar, not far off the ground for a few seconds before losing his grip and dropping to the ground.'']

[''Chris grunts, tries to grab the bar again.'']

Chris: Ugh...

[''Looks to the camera.'']

Chris: Alright fine, I can't do a pull up. At least I tried.

[''Jumps up and tries to grab the bar again.'']

Chris: Still tryin'.

[''Grunting sounds.''] Well, can't do it.

[''Tries to do a pull-up again with visibly shaking arms, grunts and sighs.'']

Chris: Uh... Too sensitive for my... [''sound of slapping belly''] weight.

[''Chris walks off camera.'']

==Images==
Accompanying the leaked video were a selection of images, presumed to be ones Chris took for [[Jackie]].
<center><gallery>
File:100_2242.JPG
File:100_2243.JPG
File:100_2244.JPG|The [[McIntire Park]] sign
File:100_2245.JPG
File:100_2246.JPG
File:100_2247.JPG
File:100_2248.JPG
File:100_2249.JPG
File:100_2250.JPG
File:100_2251.JPG
File:100_2252.JPG
File:100_2253.JPG
File:100_2296.JPG|Now with extra [[Plush Breasts of Fail|boobage]]
File:100_2299.JPG|'''TITTY MONSTER'''
File:BeatSketcher20101012.png|Has Chris been improving his art during the dry spell? '''[[Chris and art|SPOILER: NO]]'''
File:ccsonichu.jpg|Chris's [[Chris-chan Sonichu|fursona]], from [[ECV 00002]]
</gallery></center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Private Chris Chan, U.S.M.C. Maggot
| video = {{#ev:youtube|F39Q8GS0z8M}}
| Stardate = 7 November 2010
| Maker = MiHiVidz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chan's Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rwGzjMECCAw}}
| Stardate = 8 November 2010
| Maker = raoulduke138
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

== External links ==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?8ca48v808ae5m0p Download archive]
* [http://goo.gl/AeGkP Mirror]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ToJackie]]|nextlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]}}

{{LeakedVideos}}
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

Talk:100 2357.MOV

2010-11-22T22:00:51Z

BreadGod:

Ohhh Snap i can't wait for the Shit storm [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 12:24, 22 November 2010 (PST)

Should this article include links to other psuedo-ragequit incidents?--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 12:55, 22 November 2010 (PST)

So...anyone want to place bets how long THIS ragequit's going to last? [[User:Airrider1|Airrider1]] 1:55, 22 November 2010 (PST)
:I'd give it about a month. It's getting cold out, so he won't be able to go out in the real world as much as he would like to. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 14:00, 22 November 2010 (PST)

CWCki:General

2010-11-22T21:59:19Z

BreadGod: /* A counter for the main page */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

*[[CWCki:General/Archive 1|Archive 1]]
*[[CWCki:General/Archive 2|Archive 2]]

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Anonymax is hereby a CWCki admin ==

Because I am far too [[stress|STRESSED]] to constantly monitor CWCki like I use to, and because the CWCki has gotten larger, I hereby dub Anonymax a CWCki admin. May he use his powers for good, not evil. If you have problems, you can all <strike>stop bothering me</strike> bring your problems to him as well.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:10, 9 November 2010 (PST)
* everyone keep bothering champthom -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 20:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== A booru for CWC-related fan art ==

Hi guys. I'm here to ask you a simple question.

There's a site out there that allows you to create a free "booru". A "booru" is an online gallery that anyone of its members can contribute to. Another "booru" feature is tagging: e.g., if you add a "rosechu" tag to all pictures featuring Rosechu; then, if you search for "rosechu", you'll find every pic with the "rosechu" tag; etc. It's quite a useful thing. Examples of "boorus": Danbooru, Gelbooru, Paheal (aka Rule 34).

I can create a booru (on the site I mentioned) for CWC-related fan art, for CWCkians to browse and contribute to. The question is, are CWCkians interested in this? That's what I want you guys to tell me.

P.S.: Btw, there's a lot of fan art pics on CWCki, and most of them aren't used in actual articles. If such a booru were to exist, all these pics could be safely deleted from the CWCki database, I reckon. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 11:01, 10 November 2010 (PST)

== Fan videos ==
I think we should limit the fan videos to 2 max per page, since thay are not really relevant and most of the time don't add much, take for example the "CWC fighter" page, currently it has 6 fan videos.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 11:18, 12 November 2010 (PST)

== A counter for the main page ==

Since this is like the fifth time Chris has declared he's leaving the internet forever, do you think a counter could be added to DA Update? Like the old one which counted how many days he'd missed on his page a day schedule, it could count how many days he lasts before he uploads another video. Chris doesn't tend to last too long on these things but he did go for a month and a half over the summer without a video update and it might be interesting to see if he manages to beat his previous record. [[User:Whispsonichu|Whispsonichu]] 13:34, 22 November 2010 (PST)
:That actually sounds like a pretty good idea. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 13:59, 22 November 2010 (PST)

CWCki:Technical

2010-11-20T05:38:06Z

BreadGod: /* Default Skin */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

For discussion of errors, extensions, and technical stuff in general(yes we know about the 500 errors).

== upgraded to 1.16.0 ==

seems like all the obvious stuff is fixed but if there are any missing extensions you need please let me know --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 02:39, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

==Audio hosting==
Seeing as how some of the audio recordings that we link to on some pages have been removed from their file hosting sites, I was thinking maybe instead of having people download audio we simply host it here CWCiki side. An example of what I am talking about can be found here.[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FDR_speech.ogg] [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 10:14, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
: This could be doable, but needs server configuration. From user's point of view, it could be a simple matter of converting the files to Ogg Vorbis and uploading them here. Currently, the upload page doesn't accept .ogg files, and files are limited to 7 MB. In order to make the in-browser support work, we'd need the [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:OggHandler OggHandler extension] (which needs ffmpeg and other leet stuff installed on the server as well). --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 03:12, 6 August 2010 (PDT)

==Apache Module versus CGI==
I've been a long time lurker, but the prevalence of 500 Internal Server Errors has prompted me to register an account. I've lurked and searched the CWCki to see if this has been suggested, but I didn't see anyone bring up this potential solution. So I apologize if I'm offering a redundant suggestion. These error messages seem to suggest to me that the Wiki software is running on CGI. A lot of CGI-related performance issues can be remedied by running PHP via an Apache module, rather than as a CGI binary. The PHP CGI binary is invoked, processes a script, and then shuts down every time a page is requested. Apache modules are continuous, thread safe processes (thread safety can be build dependent). I'm not sure if this hosting provider offers such a configuration option, but it may be worth looking into one that does if this becomes an increasingly prominent issue. FastCGI may be a worthwhile alternative to the current configuration if an Apache module is not an option because of some inherent limitations with Wiki software. [[User:Sheex|Sheex]] 10:28, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

== 500 internal server error poll ==
Please note what page you received it on and what your action was (view/edit/etc...). [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 14:25, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*Main Page/View - It happens sometimes when I try going here on a new window. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 18:14, 5 October 2010 (EST)
:*I almost always get it when saving an edit, sometimes when I log in. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 17:10, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
::*Same here.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 18:08, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
:::*That's actually been happening to me quite a bit, recently. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 21:23, 5 October 2010 (EST)
::::Extra processing and memory is used while saving a page, and since lack of memory is the likely cause of the error - it's unsurprising that you encounter it when doing the above. Implementing global caching would help alleviate server load, as currently every page request from logged in users is generating server processing. Longer pages have more chance of generating the error - as they are larger, and take up more memory while being processed. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:30, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::I'll back up the main page and saving edits. I almost never get them otherwise recently. Sometimes I get them if I try to open a page in a tab. The way I browse, I open links I want to read in tabs in tabs to where I can continue reading the page I'm on without having to come back and remember where I was. The tabs will 500 error about 25% of the time. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 14:22, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
* Got one this morning on the Main page. I didn't do anything in particular other than trying to open it. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:55, 8 October 2010 (PDT)

== Is the CWCki faster now? ==
Is it? Do you get the 500 internal server error still? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:39, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*It's better. Though it still takes a little while to load longer pages after editing, and I've only experienced one error message while searching for some video. It's a good start, though. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 00:02, 6 October 2010 (EST)
::Yes it's very fast when not doing things like editing/saving pages (as to be expected). The changes made should hopefully mean fewer errors for everyone, and it seems like a much faster article-browsing experience too. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:18, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*I still get a lot of 500 Internal Server Errors. Not as many as before but it still happens a noticeable amount. It's as fast as it was before; I don't see any difference. [[User:Yossarian|Yossarian]] 13:26, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*I've only gotten one today. Usually I get at least three.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:35, 9 October 2010 (PDT)
**Okay, today I got bitchslapped by the error when trying to edit that stupid prank call page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:24, 15 October 2010 (PDT)
*I only seem to get 500 errors when requesting pages which are not static (i.e. edit pages, recent changes, histories, diffs). The odd 500 error I get when browsing regular articles tends to be on ones that are subject to a lot of recent edits, such as a new video article. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:52, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

== Default Skin ==

I think we should make Vector the default skin for the CWCki, as MonoBook is pretty dated and Vector gives wikis a very clean appearance. A lot of wikis are adopting Vector for this reason. The layout differences are fairly minor, so it really shouldn't give anyone much trouble by making it the default. Users who really dislike it can still change back to MonoBook in their prefs.

* [http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Main%20Page&useskin=vector Preview Vector on the Main Page]
* [http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title={{FULLPAGENAME}}&useskin=vector Preview Vector on this page]
Your thoughts please! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:11, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Personally I find Monobook more simplistic and nice, as well as more familiar. But we'll see. -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 21:03, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Vector is clunky and confusing. I prefer Monobook. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:38, 19 November 2010 (PST)

CWC Address to Unilever About AXE

2010-11-09T17:15:38Z

BreadGod:

'''CWC Address to Unilever About AXE''' is a two-part video series made when [[Chris]] learned that [[Axe|AXE]], despite its highly chauvinistic ad campaign, is most popular among [[homos|gay men]].

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Address to Unilever About AXE
| image = {{#ev:youtube|uKQctHJ71hA}}
| stardate = 2 May 2009
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| subject = {{Homos|text}}
| shirt = {{CreepyRobe|text}}
| previous = [[For My Sweetest Ivy]]
| next = [[MEOW]]
}}

===Transcript of Part 1===

Good day, I wish to, uh, make an announcement, uh, upon the side note, uh, aside from my usual work blagh would like to, uh, blagh make a claim, uh, make it obvious of to the creators of, uh, my favorite br- one of my favorite brand of, uh, body spray: AXE. [Presents AXE spray] Apparently it ha- it has come to my attention that, uh, bunch of, uh, people of the, uh, wrong orientation are, uh, using the, uh, AXE brand, ah, by which I mean particularly the, uh, homosexuals.

Eh eweh thusly a stereotype has been, uh, m- has been made if you, uh, if, has been made apparently, uh, has been made apparently '''‘you be gay if you wore AXE.’''' That’s so stupid it’s not I mean it’s not true I mean I’m straight and I have been using AXE for years. [Presents AXE again] I’m a proud sub- I’m a proud user of AXE ‘cos originally as it was originally intended for and I quote: [Reading label] “Effective deodorant protection designed to seduce the ladies” and then later, uh, when they expanded to, uh, the, uh, shower gel they continued with that in saying, uh, “ah kee—dr—kee—nahh let’s see. Hydrates your skin leavin’ it so pure that she’ll th—that ''she-ll'' think ''she’s'' the first one to touch it,” and then later again in, uh, shampoo it says here [Reading label] “Get girl approved hair. Wash, attract, repeat.”

Even though, uh, the comments, the, uh, comments, uh, sound, uh, sexist, uh, as I have learned, uh, on, uh, on their page on Wikipedia [gasp] I still feel that, uh, I have been at, uh, I still feel that, uh, is, uh, a big, uh, a big misuse and complete immoral act that the homosexuals take use of our of the AXE brand which is prefer- which is dimensionally and originally oriented towards the straight people. I mean men attract ladies. It means they’re straight. They want to attract the ladies they’re straight. Please, okay, that didn’t come out right but my point is anyway, uh, AXE is more straight is more meant for straight people: straight men who wish to attract the straight, nyell, the ladies.

The straight men who wish to attract the ladies and I have been the proud us—prow user of AXE throughout the many bre—throughout the many, uh, variations, ehmore to come and more out there to [stuttering] out there to market and I’m sure, other than the body spray, the ehshower gel and the shampoo. In any case, AXE was adridgionally meant for, and should remain, only for the straight men who wish to attract the women. It is not meant for a homosexual dude to attract another homosexual dude. Ahem. Ticks me off. It really does.

So I hope that, uh, the aff—that the, uh, Unilever the company that creates the AXE products, uh, sees this, uh, video on the YouTube and also, uh, would like also, uh, I would like t- to, uh, well I’d be say— I'd be, uh, I would be sound like, uh, some kind of bad person if I tell 'em to not sell to the homosexuals but I wa—but it should be more obvious from the package that it is meant for straight people. Y'know and also I would like to make the following statement to all homosexuals who dare use it. '''You homosexuals, stay off of our AXE!'''

Peace out.

===Transcript of Part 2===

I wish to, uh, take a moment right now to, uh, read a letter I have just hand-written for the, uh, Unilever company about the, uh, issue at hand with AXE. I read this out loud because I currently cannot find the snail mail address, but when I do I will mail it off directly. But I re—but I read it now for hope that they will at least be able to get the—get the understanding and the gist of my, uh, of my proposition and hopefully do something about it and will not blow me off because of an opinion.

Hmmm. Anyway, to the Unilever company who creates, uh, AXE body spray, shower gel, shampoo, and all of that.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I, Christian Weston Chandler, have been a loyal user of AXE body spray for years now, and I have been enjoying the scent as I look forward to it making me smell better to attract (and keep one of) women to be my sweetheart. I have been sussessful with being enjoyed by my sweetheart—[''looks up to camera''] my sweetest [[Ivy]]. [''continues'']—who enjoys my pleasant presence and company with her.

I write the letter today, with concern of hearing that the '''ho-mo-sess-u-al pop-u-la-tion''' wear the AXE body spray as often as or greater than the straight people. Like myself. For the longest time, AXE has been advertised and meant for STRAIGHT men to attract WOMEN. It was certainly NOT meant to attract... '''other dudes'''.

I would like—I would ask to ban sale of—and use of the product from the homos, ''but that would be [[Chris|retarded]]''. Instead I respectfully and humbly request that on the package a statement li—such as "DESIGNED ONLY FOR STRAIGHT ORIENTED MEN" or something strongly similar. Please make this so, and please do not try to blow me off for having an opinion about the product. Or having an opinion about the homosexuals. Because I do not care much about them.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
Proud Straight Male AXE User

Peace.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC the Volcano Does Not Approve of Homosexuals Using AXE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3RxTycDxwqY}}
| Stardate = 09 September 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| Subject =
| Video Type = YouTube Poop
| Other Info =
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[For My Sweetest Ivy]]|nextlink=[[MEOW]]|}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Book10Replacement

2010-10-30T19:33:05Z

BreadGod:

'''Book10Replacement''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris shows off the "[[Chris and censorship|corrected]]" version of [[Sonichu 10]], something he said he started working on over half a year ago.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Book10Replacement
| video = {{#ev:youtube|E15yCuxm_Fs}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| previous = [[WelcometoBollywood]]
| next = [[DrainedCreativity]]
}}

===Transcript===

Wait--it is done! Now I can reveal to you the true pages of which...replace...the ones that were gory..and outrageous! Starting with Page 90 where we ended the trial!
Sean: In our defense...I have a rock...
Judge: I think we've heard enough...jury?
Jury: We, the jury, find the defendants guilty times four!
Judge: I agree! I hereby sentence the four of them to residence in an Amish community! No technology access whatsoever, for the rest of their lives! Court is adjourned!
(Next page)
Narrator: Meanwhile, in the DC Maximum Security Prison...
Slaweel Yram: Eeheehee! My spell is completed! I will wreak havoc on that city once again! I am Slaweel!
(Next page, Slaweel has been knocked into the wall by an explosion of some sort.)
Slaweel: Dang it!
Guard: Ha! Another failed spell, 06960?
Slaweel: Shut up!
Guard: Anyway you have a new cellmate.
(Slaweel's new cellmate is revealed to be Kathleen, Jason Kendrick Howell's woman love slave.)
Slaweel: So, what did they get you for, lady?
(Next page)

{{Transcription}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]|nextlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

HairDifference

2010-10-30T16:58:45Z

BreadGod:

'''HairDifference''' are two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. The first video shows Chris's hair which hasn't been washed in a "few days", and the second video shows the hair after it has been washed with some "good [[Axe]]... shampoo, conditioner and anti-dandruff". To the surprise of no one, his hair, when washed, looks just as horrendous as it does unwashed.

==HairDifferenceBefore==

{{Infobox/video
| name = HairDifferenceBefore
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w3OvGwRo1kY}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other| Hygiene}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
| next = [[#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]
}}

===Transcript===

{{Transcription}}

==HairDifferenceAfter==

{{Infobox/video
| name = HairDifferenceAfter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5bLkmTN60DI}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other| Hygiene}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{CreepyRobe|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[#HairDifferenceBefore|HairDifferenceBefore]]
| next = [[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]
}}

===Transcript===

{{Transcription}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]|nextlink=[[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:Chris and health

2010-10-26T23:31:54Z

BreadGod: /* WeighIn */ new section

Hey we should add a "gallery of fatness" to the bottom of the page with pictures of his horrible fatness.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 19:01, 23 July 2009 (CEST)
*That's not such a bad idea, I suppose. What would be best is if you could make them show how much he has ballooned over the years. [[User:Dormiebasne|Dormiebasne]] 21:20, 23 July 2009 (CEST)
**That is an even better idea--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 23:09, 23 July 2009 (CEST)
*** Damn, I wish he was one of those people who took a photo of himself once a day. Then we could make an animation. [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 15:33, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

Moved the gallery of hair. --[[User:Garfield|Garfield]] 03:14, 25 July 2009 (CEST)
*Cool!--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 16:50, 29 July 2009 (CEST)

In Kacey's recollection of her date with Chris, she mentioned how he would sweat profusely just by walking. Where in the article should I add that? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:17, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

== Need to do ==
*Probably move the hair to Sonichu Girls or just make a new page for it, I think it warrants its own page because it also demonstrates MEXICAN SONICHU and poor Spanish
*Also, incorporate chris's coke habits (the drink) http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?n2bjtmemyyj [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:33, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

== Chris and Strength? ==

Chris seems to suffer form delusions that he's really strong and a good fighter. I'd go into more depth except that I'm not really strong nor a good fighter. All I know is that he's worse at both than me. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 06:26, 13 October 2009 (CEST)

== Weird section ==

The article currently says: "''Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving high school, and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. It has also left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos.''" Now, I'm not a medical professional or anything, but I'm pretty sure exercise level doesn't have much to do with skin color. The second sentence should probably be moved or at least clarified.
*No, I think that's more or less sun. Trust me, if you can get him to push carts during the summer at some Wal-Mart or whatever, his skin'll look a million times better. Of course, we're talking about Chris, who thinks item stockers in retail are "heavyweights".--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:24, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
:*I have edited it as such:''"Since he barely leave his house and focus his time on playing videogames, his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos."'' I hope it will please Mr. Anonymous... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:35, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

==So when WAS the last time Chris took a shower?==
Seriously. What was the exact date of Chris's last shower? Considering how much he's divulged about his life it shouldn't be hard to aquire this information. [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 13:30, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
:*It's not as simple as you think. First, Chris is not the type of camera-whore who would record this. Then, He's in [[Homos|straight]] denial about this as you can read it in the article. Personally, my out-of-nowhere guess would be once a week or when the itching would became impossible to endure. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:47, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
:** If a guy is said to be smelling like rotten watermelon or rotting fish in the sun, he's probably not even showering once a MONTH. Has anybody actually ASKED him? [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 15:31, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
:***Do you think he would listen? Chris had learned over the years that making over-the-top claims and giving assurances of all sorts would allow him to avoid doing any action. So, if we ask him, be sure that he will repeat that he showers daily even if flies drop dead around him due to the stench. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:32, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
:****I've been brushing up on my psychology and according to Professor Jean M. Twenge of San Diego University in her book "The Narcissism Epidemic" It illustrates that Narcissists are extremely fragile to criticism and with his autism and child like personality it would be no surprise if chris chan has spent several months/days without showering (just look at that brownish crust on his neck) And I imagine that even if he does he probably doesn't shower thoroughly enough to get rid of his...err aroma.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 18:01, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

==Is he in danger of developing diabetes?==

Its just speculation on my part but with a 60 ounces of coke a day habit and whatever other high sugar foods he is eating combined with his obesity as well as the possible hypertension make me wonder if he is at risk. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
* It's probably very possible. I mean, the sugar content in McDonald's is high, and in even a 330ml can of Coke (11fl oz. approx.) there is about 60% of an adult's daily sugar allowance.. Maybe if we try and get information from him that we can cross-reference to a list of diabetes symptoms, such as exceptional thirst, dry mouth and frequent urination. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 17:21, 21 February 2010 (UTC)
** Could I maybe send him a letter leading him on to list any of these symptoms in operation Mailbag?[[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
*** Chris is at high risk for pretty much everything that obesity can cause.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:46, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
**** Chris is at a higher risk for everything he ignores. Right now, I still think he's on a higher risk of suffering a bad case of staph infection than anything else. He got no notion of hygiene, his immune system is crushed by his lifestyle and he's living in a dump. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:31, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*****Forget staph; he's at risk for freaking leprosy. [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 08:37, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*It wouldn't be surprising if he had diabetes already. Have you seen his complexion? Early age spots are a possible sign of diabetes and that combined with the fact that he gets tired easily makes me believe that he might already have diabetes. PS I'm a newfag with wikis so I hope this works.
** Protip. Sign your comments by putting <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki> at the end of your comment, so we all know you are AFK4Life. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 09:34, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*** The reason I suggested a letter was so that we could get a confirmation about the liklyhood of him having diabetes. Although it is probably true. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]] 10:25, 26 Febuary 2010 (UTC)
****This will fail in two distinctive ways; not only he barely take notice of the unpleasant letters in the mailbags but he's also certain that he's the living example of what a healthy man looks like. This being said, I will take great pleasure in knowing he would have to stab himself with a syringe again and again due to a disease caused by his fat ass. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:10, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
***** However, considering that Chris is more interested in spending his tugboat money on video games and sex toys, it's more likely that he will fall into a diabetic coma because he didn't want to spend the money on urgent medical supplies. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:19, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
****** I will have to disagree with you on this. I am ready to bet that the moment Chris will need insulin or any other medication, not only the said medication will be brought to him freely by the glorious state of Virginia but he will also be followed by a social worker. We have to include the fact that Chris took medication before. In the [[Autism papers]], it is mentioned that he took paxil for four years. So, yes, he can follow a regiment of drugs. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:26, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

That's another thing that bothers me--why was he on Paxil? I hear that it treats two things--depression and excessive urination. Either way I want to know what prompted it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:34, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
* Interestingly enough, paxil has been known in some paitents to cause outbursts of anger: http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&m=203440
:It is mainly prescribed to treat depression, but is also occasionally prescribed to individuals who complain of extreme stress. It is possible that the lumberjack and snorlax got Chris a prescription thinking it would mellow him out, or it may be that Chris has been very depressed and the paxil was specifically prescribed to him for his depression. Considering his goals in life, and his chances of achieving them, it is quite likely (even with Chris's limited mental foresight) that he has realized that his goals are almost certainly unachievable, and thus he is depressed. [[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 18:25, 14 June 2010 (EST)
::It is interesting to see when Chris started taking paxil. If we refer ourselves to the Autism paper (Circa 2004), it tells us that the ManChild was on that medication for the last 4 years. This bring us to the end of his High-School years and his enrolment at the PVCC. There's a possibility that it was suggested to Chris's parents to put him on meds to help him with the transition from one setting to another. After all, autistics love patterns and the loss of those patterns can cause stress and bouts of 'Tard-Rage. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:21, 15 June 2010 (UTC)

== Inability to Recognize Faces ==

I think it should be mentioned that the inability to recognize faces is a very common trait of Autism. The fact that Chris cannot recognize faces confirmed (to me) that he definitely has a form of autism before those psychiatric evaluations were released.

Also, a lack of smell-sensory is another symptom of autism. This is definitely far from the only reason that Chris never showers, and not all Autistic people lack a sense of smell, but still I thought I should mention it.(Wiki newfag here; I hope this works.) --[[User:Windyshoot|Windyshoot]] 09:02, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

At first,I read inability to recognize feces. LOL! --[[User:Kawaiidesubakachan|Kawaiidesubakachan]] 02:14, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's obesity ==

In response to to how much weight chris gained during his apearence in the pimp my ride video, someone in the talk section asked for a comparison between chris's breast and those of a big chested woman. after combining the image below i noticed that chris has gained so much weight that his man-boobs have become massive. what i'm trying to ask is if the image could be included in the chris and obesity section. [[User:MoarLurk]]
[[file:Compare.jpg|300px|right]]

:I made that image with pretty much that purpose. Also if you notice, chris's boobs are bigger.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:05, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
::I suspect that Chris has a hormonal imbalance. Even with his corpulent physique, his breasts are disproportionately large, and his nipples look like pepperonis. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:07, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
:::That's exactly what he has. This is typical of gynecomastia. [[User:Hamsterjelly|Hamsterjelly]] 06:24, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::The though of Chris's nipples...cannot unsee.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:14, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
::::We have pictures of them, remember? We've seen the man screwing a blow-up doll. How can his nipples be close to that disturbance? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 16:51, 15 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::Anything involving the naked body of that man is of the deepest bowels of hell or Rhyel.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:08, 15 June 2010 (UTC)

== Hormonal imbalance ==
i've beggining to suspect that chris suffers from hormonal imbalance, it would explain his high pitched voice and the overgrown mantits and acne at that age. Poor hygiene can explian the acne a bit. Obesity can explain the mantits, but to Chris's level, it has to be the hormones, I think he has an exess of strogen in his system.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. ... but it could be testosterone. My understanding is that the human body can only tolerate so much testosterone; any excess is converted into estrogen (or oestrogen). Given that in addition to his [[Collosal|Collosal Chris Chan]] manboobs Chris appears to display uncontrollable bouts of anger ("Shouting loud enough to wake the dead" over a slightly overpriced cup of coffee), has great difficulty keeping his hands [[Kacey|off]] [[Megan|women]], constantly obsesses about sex and generally acts like a horny 16 year old when he's 28 seems to suggest that, perhaps, he has a large amount of testosterone in his system and the excess is being turned into estrogen. An outside observer with absolutely no idea who Chris is might even suggest steroid abuse (before anyone jumps in with 'but Chris is weak!', steroids don't make you STRONG, they're just basically horse urine which is huge amounts of testosterone. It bulks you up a great deal, but if you take steroids and don't work out, you get really fat and get huge mantits). It's times like these I wish the mailbags were still going, so we could ask Chris directly if he was taking steroids. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:01, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

==Wes Iseli==

This article mentioned an non-sourced comment from Wes Iseli about Chris's funk during his PVCC days. I know it's not an official statement, but does any one know where or who that came from? ---[[User:ConCat|ConCat]] 17:17, 28 August 2010 (PDT)

== WeighIn ==

Should we add the new information about his weight we learned from this new video? We should also probably add something about why he must weigh 216 despite having the body we all see. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:31, 26 October 2010 (PDT)

Curse-ye-ha-me-ha

2010-10-20T20:53:01Z

BreadGod: /* Yes, he actually thinks this works */

[[Image:Cwcyehameha_crop.gif|center|CURSE YE HA ME HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]]
{{RageQuote|CURSE-YE-HA-ME- HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!}}

[[Image:138-CurseYeHaMeHa.jpg|thumb|Yep.]]

The '''Curse-ye-ha-me-ha''', also referred to as '''Shin-ye-ha-me-ha''', is the [[retard|special]] finishing move of doom used by [[Chris]] when battling [[jerkops]], [[manajerks]], [[trolls]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

It is performed exactly the same way as the famed Kamehameha maneuver used in the [[anime]] series ''Dragon Ball'' and ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': by doing silly choreographed poses and slowly yelling the name of [[Wikipedia:Kamehameha I|a famous Hawaiian king]]. It's also possible that Chris was inspired by a scene in ''[[Excel Saga]]'', where the characters at one point perform a "Nabehameha"; a parody of the Kamehameha named after the series director, Shinichi "Nabeshin" Watanabe. If not directly inspired by ''Excel Saga'', it likely at least caused Chris to think of deriving his own version of the famous attack.

And yes, Chris has done this in public...

==Execution and effect==

In keeping with the [[Dragon Ball Z|Kamehameha]] maneuver he stole it from, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha must be delivered slowly, with each syllable deliberately pronounced as the user summons his chi, finally ending with the last "ha!" and a blast of power followed by peace for the [[troll]] [[jerkop]] or [[manajerk]]. For optimal results, say it like the [[new narrator]] says it.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQfYyY24aCo#t=4m08s Sonichu - Subepisode 3! The Audiobook! Christian Chandler and Sonichu in "Witch Confront!"]</ref>

When desired, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha can act as a standard energy blast to vaporize enemies. However, in other situations, the attack has no immediately apparent effects. Therein lies the "curse"—the attacker has subtly hexed the victim, guaranteeing that he will soon suffer unbearable misfortune.

While negotiating the production of [[Sonichu]] [[video games]] with [[Nintendo]], [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] informed Chris that "curse" is considered offensive in Japanese culture, and so all references to the spell have been changed to "Shin-ye-ha-me-ha." By August 2009 Chris had become more willing to revert to the original name when sufficiently angry.

A less theatrical version of the move, the '''Curse Shot''', is delivered by simply holding out one's hand in the shape of a gun and miming the act of shooting the target. This achieves the same sort of ominous misfortune without requiring several minutes of preparation, which is handy if you're running away from mall security. This may or may not be inspired by "YuYu Hakusho", another anime series that aired on Cartoon Network, where the main character's signature attack was a similar move known as the "Spirit Gun". On a few occasions, he has performed a variation on this theme using his [[Megatron pistol]].

==Purpose==

Aside from creating the impression that Chris has delusions of godhood, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha allows him to feel some sense of control over his world. Chris is too weak, stupid, and cowardly to directly act against those who give him [[stress]], but his curses require no effort from him except his own faith in their power. As long as it is impossible to prove the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha has no effect, Chris can allow himself to believe the universe will ultimately destroy his enemies, giving him a sense of triumph.

==Yes, he actually does this in public==

<blockquote>"So, I got kicked out from the [[McDonald's]], not the [[Wal-Mart]], for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblocks|Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off."<ref>From the 22 June 2005 entry in [[CWC's Diary]]</ref> </blockquote>

In addition to his performance of the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha at Wal-Mart, key slanderous trolls have revealed that Chris performed the curse live and in person in the office of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], resulting in his suspension from [[PVCC]]. A documented performance of this attack has been recorded and it is shown in [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|this]] video.

==Yes, he actually thinks this works==
In [[Mailbag 18]], when asked if he thinks his powers actually work, Chris commented:

{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at PVCC went DOWN (yes, mostly due to my references in the pages), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my Sweetheart Search, I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one [[Clyde Cash|specific Troll]] (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[wikipedia:common cold|life-threatening ailment]].|Chris, 06:28, 15 December 2009 (CET), [[Mailbag 18]]}}

[[Chris and his ego|Chris actually believes he has magic powers to curse people.]] Chris, as usual, [[fail|fails]], this time with confusing correlation and causation - just because Mary Lee Walsh's reputation went down (even if we take Chris's biased view of Ms. Walsh at face value), it does not necessarily follow that it's a result of a curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack. This appears to stem from his inflated sense of self-importance: because he sees himself as an innocent man, he seems to believe that [[GodJesus|God]] has granted him magical powers with which to curse those who dare wrong him, a good example of his detachment from [[Chris and reality|reality]].

The following excerpt from the [[Katie Bay E-mails 6|Katie Bay e-mails]] describes his process of emitting a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha:

{{quote|I have learned from my experiences that a CURSE or a BLESSING shot is mainly comprised of the respective Enraged or Caring you are currently feeling. I DO NOT ENCOURAGE YOU DO THIS, but I will tell you for your information. When cursing, I feel enraged or really angry; I channel that energy between my hands, gathering them in and throwing them towards either the target I'm angry at, or the ground or skyward; a choice of words are optional, but they do seem to add more oomph to the attack.|Chris, summoning metaphysical energy}}

It must be reiterated that Chris actually thinks this works.

==Known victims==

In the comics, Chris applies the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha to Mary Lee Walsh and one of the Jerkops, and these stories may reflect the two known public instances, or separate incidents, or purely wishful thinking. The curse seems to have had no effect on Walsh, even in fiction--after being seemingly atomized in [[Sub-Episode 3]], she simply returned none the worse for wear.

On 15 [[January 2009]], Chris delivered a Shin-ye-ha-me-ha [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|via YouTube]] to every troll who has contributed to his [[ED]] page and to [[4chan]].

[[CChanSonichuCWC]], the dreaded brown-striped impostor, was on the receiving end of a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in a [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|14 August 2009 video]].

However, on 16 [[August 2009]] Chris elected to lift the curses he had previously unleashed, and performed the "Forgiveness Blessings" in a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|video]] to demonstrate his grace. During this retraction Chris claimed to have used the Curse Shot on over fifty men during his [[Love Quest]].

Due to the production of [[Audiobook]] DVDs, Chris has cursed [[Vivian Gee]] and anyone involved with the project.

On 1 [[February 2010]], Chris [[Address_to_Mao,_the_S.O.B.|cursed Mao Ling]], operator of the [[Asperpedia]], in response to a series of offensive advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]. He was later coerced into delivering an [[Chris and Remorse|insincere forgiveness blessing]].

On 2 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Surfshack Tito (video)|performed a Curse Shot]] on [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] in response to his [[PSN]] account being hacked [[BlueSpike|yet]] [[Jack Thaddeus#PSN Hax|again]]. [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|This comes after Chris said that cursing people was evil, and that he would atone for it.]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|Hypocrite.]]

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Super Saiyan Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|oWO-v9V3dE4}}
| Stardate = 28 [[May 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/CWCGundam CWCGundam]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = INFINITE RAGE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|99nZKlLLCWM}}
| Stardate = 19 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Virgin with Rage]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WWmRqsQ6JJ4}}
| Stardate = 12 [[December 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IRAwEsOmE IRAwEsOmE]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Special Attacks]]

Chris and the Internet

2010-10-20T18:50:36Z

BreadGod: /* Attempts to leave the Internet */

[[File:Bob the Lumberjack.jpg|thumb|240px|right|The proper response to a [[virgin with rage]] on the internet.]]

The '''Internet''' is a specialized computer programming that allows the transmission of data through long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown since its first real conception in the [[1980s]] as a means for [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College|universities]] to communicate with each other. It is said that nearly 2,000,000,000 people are connected to the Internet.

One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler|a fat, whiny, bigoted, misogynistic, egotistical manchild.]] He is the Internet's [[Basement_Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==

Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it; and if you direct a message to someone, ''only'' they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats,_Jack_Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|internet girlfriends]]. Most telling is [[100_2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990s.

Chris sees no problem in dropping [[Honest Content|highly sensitive information]] over his videos — including his phone number, [[14 Branchland Court|street address]], and the secret name of [[The Wallflower|the girl]] he desperately wanted to be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his "[[For_Julie%27s_Eyes_Only|private]]" messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet for some time, yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in real life. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are polite and helpful, and generally [[Chris_and_the_Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees all websites as vehicles to spew his [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_the_CWCki|self]]-[[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile|version]] of [[Honest_content|the truth]]. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claims that [[CWC_Blog#January_2010|it is he who has control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who does the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack_Thaddeus|advertisers]] who pay for it.
{{clear}}

==Forums and bans==

[[File:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|240px|left|Some people see [[duck|dicks]] everywhere on the internet. Chris tends to see these instead.]]

As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.

Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading or simple egotism. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult_Swim_posts|Adult Swim boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Common sense would suggest that Chris would fare well in the Internet forums, which are havens for socially retarded, thirty-something man-children who still live with [[Barbara_Chandler|Mommy]] and [[Bob_Chandler|Daddy]]. However, Chris has managed to fail here too. By appearing in the web as his usual nicknames or full names, and plastering Sonichu crap all over, he draws the attention of his trolls, and reacts predictably when they follow him. More importantly, if the trolls somehow fail to notice his new hangouts, he's quick to make enemies completely on his own accord, due to his [[ego]], selfishness and complete disregard of rules.

Thanks to his screwed up conversation filter, Chris has done stupid stuff and has stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of Sonichu 9 without an [[Honest_content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why—comments left on his CWCipedia talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of Sonichu 8. As well, despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]. However, unlike DA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has also had posts moderated at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in [[ModNation Racers]].

His most grievous ban to date involves [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Between 29 June and 2 July, Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from the site ''four times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of the fact that a [[Nintendo]]-owned website wouldn't ''like'' that sort of thing being put on their site. Because of this and other flipnotes he had uploaded and reuploaded, the mods blocked Chris's DSi from uploading any further flipnotes. Nearly a month later, Chris resurfaced on the website and reuploaded all the flipnotes that got him banned in the first place. It is suspected that he has purchased a new DSi in order to evade the ban, adding yet another reason for the moderators to ban him from the website.

One notices a pattern in all of this—Chris is simply too lazy to read a website's terms of service, too lacking in empathy to lurk for a while and see what people generally do on the sites, or even pick up the basic common sense needed for survival in most Internet communities. He just meanders onto a website and begins to post whatever he feels like posting, reacting with shock when he crosses a line because he did not bother trying to learn its location. When protesting his ban from Wikipedia for violating one of their numerous rules, he argued that he didn't have the time to read the pages upon pages of fine print that stipulated what constituted acceptable behavior. When faced with a similar conflict on Flipnote, he failed to get the hint that something in all of those videos was violating the terms of service, uploading a video anyone could tell was inappropriate for the PG-13 website no less than ''four times'' before his DSi was blocked from the service. Undeterred, Chris purchased a new DSi (a handheld that is worth almost as much as his monthly budget) and uploaded it a fifth time.
{{clear}}

== Attempts to leave the Internet ==

[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|240px|right|This is what Chris means when he says he going to "[[03212010_C-Ya_Later.MOV|go outside and enjoy life.]]"]]

As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going". However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it — when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes home when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory — threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling it has its own [[ED]] article. However, Chris just can't stand to get away from the Internet.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the [[Julie]] incident; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks, before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland_Show_Voice_Rant|rant about the Cleveland Show]] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the Internet just ''four days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the Internet, that he is literally afraid of the Internet]]. Chris being Chris, he returned just [[June062010.MOV|one week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''fifth'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly two weeks after his ''fifth'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the Internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

This would've been easy for the trolls to do, if Chris had just [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|stopped]] [[The_MovingForward_videos|making]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|videos]]—especially ones [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|addressing them]] [[Haters_Gonna_Hate.MOV|specifically]] ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_captured_on_video|not seeking out trolls offline couldn't hurt, either]]).

What Chris doesn't seem to realize is that the [[PS3#Playstation_Network|PSN]] he [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|loves]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_video_downloads|so]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads|dearly]] and Flipnote Studios are all technically a part of the Internet, as they consist of a network of interconnected computers/devices. Also, a quick check of his YouTube profile will usually reveal he has signed on within the last 12-24 hours, meaning he still visits YouTube daily; he's also recently taken to [[Twitter]], Gamespot, and [[GameFAQs]] to beg for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' codes. It's plain to see he is [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|full of shit]], and his announced departures only cover the parts of the Internet [[Encyclopedia_Dramatica|that]] [[CWCki|bother]] [[4-cent_garbage.com|him]].

== Will Chris ever really leave? ==

It's possible, perhaps even inevitable, that circumstances will enable Chris to really leave the Internet. The most likely reason would be the death or intervention of [[Robert Chandler|certain benefactors]] that keep the Internet train a-rolling. Another (slightly) less-likely possibility would be the end result of Chris's terminal slothfulness: just ceasing to care about anything except [[video games]], [[toys]], and his [[CWCville|Happy Place]]. If pressed, Chris always claims to be "workin' on it ([[Sonichu]]/[[job|employment]]/the [[Love Quest]]/etc.)," but effort is anathema to Chris.

It is highly unlikely that he'll ever leave the Internet of his own volition. Chris thrives on attention just as much as he is burned by the terrible strain of effort. Like an abused spouse, he may never leave unless [[Rocky_Shoemaker|someone else]] steps in. [[Trolls|Being the horrible people we are]], we'd rather have it that he stay. And now, with the [[Fridays After Five|trolling efforts]] of field agents in play, it seems the only way Chris will ever truly leave the Internet will be through his [[Chris and Health|inevitable]] [[death]].

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Cosplaying

2010-10-14T00:43:52Z

BreadGod:

[[File:0658-ANIME513.JPG|thumb|Chris dressed as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his mary-sue counterpart]] in [[2005]].]]

'''Cosplay''', short for "costume play", is a type of performance art in which a person dresses up as a character or idea. The practice is commonly seen in the [[anime]] fandom, but can also be seen in other fan realms such as [[video games]] and comics. [[Chris]] was first seen in cosplay attire with the famous [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume. Any attempts at cosplay are usually rare, however a major wave of cosplaying by Chris, presumably to impress/amuse [[Jackie]], appeared in Sept/Oct [[2010]].

It should be noted that most of the costumes are created at his home using construction paper, markers, paints, and anything else he can purchase in the craft section of a [[Wal-Mart]]. They're crude interpretations of the original image he is attempting to portray and most seem put together quickly and with little effort. Most of the costumes barely resemble the character's Chris is trying to mimic; unlike his [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] cosplay which had at least some effort put into it. The only other costume he appeared to put any effort into was his [[Sonichu]] form, in which he painted his face and body along with constructing a few minor details to make the look complete. This shows a complete lack of interest in actual cosplay itself unless it is depicting one of his creations or deep interests.

==Ash Ketchum cosplay==
[[Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|thumb|That hat is pretty goddamn dirty]]

Chris appeared in his [[Wikipedia:Ash Ketchum|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally <s>created</s> probably purchased as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the [[2004]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against five kids dressed up as [[Wikipedia:Team Rocket|Team Rocket]]. The prize was a T-shirt.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|Television footage]] of Chris playing [[card games]] with little kids whole dressed as Ash was also featured on his [[DVD]].

For a while, Chris resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]] and eventually evolved into the [[Chris and fashion#The "Gay Trucker" outfit|Gay Trucker]].

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* ''Pokémon League'' ballcap
* Fanny-pack (Also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)

The ensemble was usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' T-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below). Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his [[obesity|obscene girth]]. Nevertheless, it remains as his best cosplay yet, and the only one that helped him win anything.

{{clear}}
<center><gallery>
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg|
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg|I piiimp my riiide!
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|
</gallery></center>

==Jackie and cosplay==

{{quote|At least I am doing this and I have myself a woman, so there. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. Especially these videos.|Chris}}

[[File:ChrisChanCosplayMR.jpg|thumb|The master costumer at work]]

On 16 [[September 2010]] Chris uploaded a [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|video of himself depicting Mr. Popo]] from the ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' series, stating that the cosplay and song was for his girlfriend. At the end of the video we learned that it was indeed for his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]]. At first this seemed like a typical Chris move to impress a girl in the possible hopes of getting [[china]]. Apparently, either by Jackie urging him to do more or by Chris noticing that his [[sweetheart]] found amusement in his costume play, this was only the beginning.

We wouldn't again see Chris's efforts to amuse his beloved until 2 [[October 2010]] when Chris releases the video [[I like Mary Poppins]]. Though simplistic and crude, the idea that Chris is trying to portray is indeed a form of cosplay. This was just a tiny hint of what was to come the following day when Chris uploads a video attempting to be [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]]. In this video he prances around insanely yelling "Robble robble robble" repeatedly in a quickly put together costume. Several other videos followed of Chris depicting everything from famous [[music]]ians to [[trolls]]. Not until the [[ECV_00002|Sonichu Transformation video]] would we be officially told, by his own mouth, that Chris was doing this for Jackie's amusement.<ref>[[ECV_00002|Sonichu Transformation video]], section 2</ref> Though it may just seem like speculation, it seems that any cosplay video starting from the original Mr Popo was influenced by Jackie in some way.

Most of his costumes during this period were made haphazardly and probably with whatever Chris had laying around his room. The majority are made out of construction paper taped or tied onto himself and quickly colored on. This is probably a result of his laziness and general lack of effort, though he seems satisfied with his work output.

Characters Chris has cosplayed as during this period:
*[[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]
*[[McDonald's|Hamburglar]]
*[[McDonald's|Grimace]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[Liquid Chris]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] (though just vocally depicted)
*A [[Cherokee]]
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
*Fred Flinstone and [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] (the latter in the same costume but with a different 'head')
*[[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]] (a new low, with just a DVD case over his face)

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:ChrisPapa.JPG|Flexing his PaRappa muscles
File:ChrisGroucho.JPG|Chris as Groucho Marx
File:ChrisJuffalo.JPG|As a Juffalo
Image:Niggocwc.jpg|CWC as [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr Popo]]
File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|CWC tries to look like the [[McDonalds|Hamburglar]], but he comes off as an even creepier version of [[Soul Calibur|Voldo]].
File:Grimace.jpg|As the Evil Grimace
File:Chriscash.jpg|As [[Clyde Cash]]
File:Liquidd.jpg|As [[Liquid Chris]]
File:Indiann.jpg|As a [[Cherokee]]
File:Super-mode.jpg|Chris in his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|super-mode.]]
File:ChrisFredFlinstone.JPG|As Fred Flintstone
File:ChrisHomerFlinstone.JPG|As.. Homer Simpson-Flintsone?
File:ChrisAsCleveland.JPG|As Cleveland Brown. In genius.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
*[[Liquid Chris]]
*[[Robert Simmons V]]

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Cosplay|Cosplay]] at [[Wikipedia]]

{{Template:Cosplay videos}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:100 2279

2010-10-13T05:42:01Z

BreadGod:

I'll take a shot at transcribing this if no one else already is. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 22:40, 12 October 2010 (PDT)-~
:Good luck. He sounds almost completely incoherent in this video. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:42, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

100 2277

2010-10-13T04:24:55Z

BreadGod:

[[File:Thecwcstonesportrait01.jpg|thumb|An artist's depiction of what Chris hopes this video will gain him]]
[[File:FredFlintstone.jpg|thumb|left|Fred's reaction to this.]]

'''100 2277''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 12 [[October 2010]] in which he dresses as Fred Flintstone, then cosplays as Homer Simpson cosplaying as Fred.

[[File:HomerSimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer responds.]]

Right away, we're bombarded with a horrible, inaccurate, badly-paced impersonation as Chris attempts a deep, manly voice to [[Chris and Music#Singing|sing]] the theme to ''The Flintstones''- and fails right away by starting with ''[[The Simpsons]]'' [[parody]] version. The resulting voice is more along the lines of a frog who sings only in flats. To this, his latest construction paper costume is a even simpler version of Fred's one-piece toga/loincloth outfit: a single sheet of the paper, with dots scribbled on it.

It may be worth noting that Chris mumbles his way through the line "We'll have a [[Homos|gay]] old time," with "gay" meaning "happy" in this context. It is notable because Chris doesn't show any of his usual homophobia to this line by trying to change the lyrics. Either he recognizes the non-sexual meaning of "gay", or the theme song is so ingrained into his memory, that he doesn't realize what he's singing. Unfortunately, in a bit of inconvenient timing surpassed only by the Zapruder film, at this key moment, Chris's costume begins to fall apart, making it difficult to discern whether he mumbled the line in aversion to anything even remotely gay, or in distraction of repairing his costume.

After that, and the obligatory [[Random-access humor|stolen quote]], he then sings (also badly) ''The Simpsons'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmP_t4_lpzo parody of the song], complete with a "mask" of Homer's face. It should be noted that this mask has square eyes, similar to that of his pre-[[Megan]], pre-[[anime]]-style drawings and [[comics]], but merely ends up bearing a closer resemblance to "The Smiley Face", of 70's pop-culture fame. This is topped off with an additional red piece, shaped to make a yelling mouth.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2277
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vs47eq7TTys}}
| stardate = 12 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}},{{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00002]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

[[File:ChrisFlintstone.png|thumb|300px|Possible descendant of Fred Flintstone?]]

Yabba, dabba, ''doo!''

[''Chris shows a toy of the Flintstones' stone-age car, and plays with it throughout the video, as if it was being driven through the air'']

Sim-- Flint-stones, meeet the Flint-stones, they're the modern [[Bob|stone-age]] famileee!
From the, town of Bedrock, they're a page right out of hisss-store-eee!

Let's ride, with the family down the street,
Through the, courtesy of Fred's two feet! [''Chris's fingers mime a waking action in front of the toy'']

[''Short pause'']

When you're, with the Flintstones,
Have a yabba-dabba-doo-time,
Dabba [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|doo]]-time, [''Chris's "costume" begins to fall, distracting him from singing'']
[''Mumbled''], We'll have a [[gay]] old time!

[''Mercifully drops the accent'']

[[Monty Python|And now for something... ''suh-lightly'' different!]]

[''Chris adopts a new accent, covering his face with a crude smiley face mask'']
Yabba, dabba''aahh'', doo!

Simpson, Homer Simpson,
He's the greatest guy in hiss-store-eee!
From the, town of Springfield;
[[Random-access humor|He's about to hit a chesnut tree]]!

[''Chris pulls out an accessory to the yellow mask: an accompanying mouth to:'']
''YAAAAAAAAAH!''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV_00002]]|nextlink=''Current''}}

{{Template:Cosplay videos}}
{{Template:Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

October 2010

2010-10-11T15:50:59Z

BreadGod:

[[File:128679185214.png|thumb|Artist's deciption of the first third of the month]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|On '''10 October''' Chris got into his in [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his super-mode]]]]

'''October 2010''' sees the [[Jackie]] [[Saga]] ongoing, another excuse towards [[Michael Snyder]] and the prospect that Chris's "Trollbusters" antics are likely to continue. So far, Chris has released so many videos, it's as if he's trying to make up for all the time he spent away from the internet.

Following the "success" of his performance as Mr. Popo from last month, Chris appears to have to taken a liking to dress up in various half-assed, homemade costumes consisting of tape, facepaint and construction paper.

==Events of October 2010==
* 1 October - Chris makes an [[100 2261.MOV|apology video]] to [[The GAMe PLACe]], laying the blame for his behavior on [[video game]]-induced [[stress]]. [[Wikipedia#October 2010|The third attempt]] at a Wikipedia article is also made.
* 2 October - Chris uploads two videos. In the first, he demonstrates his like for Mary Poppins by [[I like Mary Poppins|dancing like the chimney sweeps]]. The second video is a full version of the [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|Lars Is Jivin']] video Chris uploaded at the end of last month.
* 3 October - Chris uploads a video where he [[100 2265|dresses up as the Hamburglar]].
* 4 October - Chris decides to [[100 2266|dress up as Grimace]] and sings a song about bullying.
* 7 October - Chris uploads three videos, [[100 2267|impersonating]] [[Clyde Cash]], [[100 2269|the Beatles]], [[100 2270|and]] [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary.]]
* 9 October - Chris uploads a video [[ECV 00001|explaining the Cherokees]]. He later uploads a video of him going on [[A Hike]].
* 10 October - Chris uploads a video where [[ECV 00002|he transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and goes on to tell people not to badmouth people, and proclaims his love for Jackie.

{{Timeline}}

Chris and art

2010-10-10T18:35:49Z

BreadGod: /* Drawing techniques */

{{quote|I wish I could get- find out what Christian's really good- well, he’s pretty good in drawing… |[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[Image:ProportionFail.jpg|thumb|Chris is an expert at proportion]]

'''Art''' has been, and always will be, [[Chris]]'s selling point. From the very day [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] found out about Chris and his creation of [[Sonichu]] to today, many people have taken interest in Chris because of his infamously bad artwork. Encouraging Chris to produce more of it remains a popular troll objective.

The sad part is, this is the closest Chris has to an actual "skill." It's no wonder he's never been able to keep a job.

==Chris and the medium==

=== Exercise of skills and improvement in craft ===

[[Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|Chris's earliest known drawing from when he was 15. No, not 1.5 - ''fifteen''.]]
[[Image:0025-ChristophersMicroMornings.jpg|thumb|left|Not bad for a grade schooler. Sadly, he peaked in the [[1980s]]]]

Since Chris first started drawing, his artwork has been abysmal. The extent to which it has improved since the first time he drew [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] is equivalent to going from the skills of a 4-year old to those of an 8-year old. Chris has never considered his artistic skill in need of improvement; he is always fully satisfied by the first attempt at a drawing he makes.

Because he believes his art is already perfect, Chris does not see the need to practice. He does no drawing exercises, and cannot look for room for improvement in his drawings because he refuses to accept the idea that his drawings can be in any way flawed.

Chris has said he spends "an hour at most" drawing a comic page and about a half-hour coloring it.<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In which Chris insults someone who drew a picture for him]]</ref> Christian Chandler is simply not aware of or refuses to accept the fact that producing the kind of high quality artwork that fans expect in a good comic strip is very labor intensive and can easily take hours even with professional software programs such as Photoshop.

Chris seems to view the act of creating as almost a chore. Because to him every idea he has is perfect from the moment it pops into his head, creating is just a matter of recording his genius. Chris enjoys expanding Sonichu stories in summary form on [[CWCipedia]], a medium better equipped to keep up with his racing and easily distracted imagination. Chris considers everything he says or writes to be a part of his comic's continuity partly because it is easier to record these euphoric and fleeting bouts of inspiration as they occur rather than days, weeks, months or even years later in comic form.

Chris believes that everything he creates is inherently worthy of adoration, and that it will bring him legions of adoring fans and the [[China|attention]] of women.

=== Comic writing and structure ===

{{main|Chris and writing}}

Chris is as poor a writer as he is an artist. Chris does no preparatory writing or preliminary revision, his narrative is wholly improvised and shifts regularly, he cannot write clear, succinct dialogue, and has little regard for visual clarity.

=== Choices of materials and technology ===

[[File:Marker Section.jpg|thumb|Crayola is the official art supplier for the Sonichu franchise, whether they like it or not]]

Chris believes that his so-called "hand-drawing style" is superior to art produced by any other means. This is due to Chris's hatred to change what he has already learned and his belief, as a consequence of his [[Chris and his ego|ego]], that his method is the best by virtue of being his.

Obviously, Chris's skill cannot compensate for the poor materials he uses. He does his work a disservice by using tools that are the cheapest available: copy paper, RSVP ballpoint pens and Crayola Magic Markers<ref>[[Mumble 7#10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies|Mumble 7]]</ref>. These happen to be the tools he has used since childhood.

Chris's artwork is far from archival quality, and in some instances shows [[Wedding Comic|signs of wrinkling]] as soon as it has been finished. Chris has defended his practice of [[Chris and writing#Dialogue|rampant textwalling]] as a way to "save marker ink."<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

Chris appears to have some version of Photoshop at his disposal (as seen in the "Spider-Man-fucking [[Clyde]]" saga), but uses it sparingly outside of lettering and inserting photographs and other drawings in comics. Chris's font of choice is [[wikipedia:Comic Sans|Comic Sans]], a font that is almost universally condemned as overused and ugly.<ref>[http://bancomicsans.com Ban the Comic Sans]</ref><ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 They will make you taste the curb]</ref>

Chris believes that using new technology creatively provides an unfair advantage in the service of inferior results. Chris has consistently called Asperchu "blocky and low resolution" because it was drawn with a tablet. In one of [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|phone calls to Alec Benson Leary]], Chris said his hand drawn art had "more character." He also thinks that his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|web page]] was awesome because it was made from "notepad scratch", i.e., built with Windows Notepad instead of complex WYSIWYG tools like FrontPage; Chris forgets that while a lot of professional web designers also write raw HTML with text editors, they generally also have some eye for aesthetics.

=== Drawing techniques ===

[[Image:CChanDraws.jpg|thumb|Strange pen grips can be corrected with the assistance of school teachers. Chris slept through these lessons]]

Chris has never even learned to hold a pen correctly. Instead of holding the front of the pen with the thumb and forefinger, he draws with his index finger sticking out and bent around the pen. Give this a try and see how long it takes for your hand to cramp up.

While most artists will produce multiple sketch versions of a single drawing, often layered on top of one another, Chris's confidence in his innate artistic ability is such that his first step in a page of Sonichu is drawing the final lineart in pen before coloring it in with Crayola markers. If he makes a mistake, he goes "oh well" and continues. There is no post-processing beyond adding text to word balloons with MS Paint. Attempts to inform him that digital coloring is more efficient and far less expensive than wasting gallons of marker ink filling in monocolor backgrounds have failed.

=== Visual style and anatomy ===

[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Nice arms you got there, Chris]]

Before the comics, Chris attempted realism for work in oil pastel, charcoal and graphite, presumably for art classes in school. The results can be [[Chris and art#Gallery of Art|seen below]].

Chris started out with a cartoony style for the comic book, full of techniques consistent with early efforts at drawing by small children. Things changed as Chris got into [[anime]] and manga, and sought to emulate them to impress his [[gal-pal]] at the time, [[Megan Schroeder]]. Like many amateur western artists, he copies only the surface elements of the anime style: big eyes, pentagonal heads, speed lines. These art elements were simply laid over his original "style" with no adjustment.

Chris makes no attempt to maintain consistency in character designs, and has no understanding of classical anatomy and proportion in figure drawing. His characters are drawn using simple shapes — colored-in outlines without ''any'' shading — and even so, he is unable to keep the shapes consistent to any degree. For example, in the opening of [[Sonichu 11]], [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|the children]] tend to noticeably get deformed in different manner in each panel, despite the fact that they're drawn as just an oval for the head, a rectangle for the body, and smaller ovals for the arms and legs. In all characters, limbs morph, heads change size, and faces become unrecognizable; it's only by color scheme that we can guess which character is which. Beyond his differently-colored eyes and Sonichu medallion, no two Chrises have ever looked alike, or even remotely resembled the actual Chris. The character sizes are also inconsistent, which is strange considering most of the characters appear to be about the same size: in most drawings where Sonichu is carrying Rosechu, Rosechu seems to shrink. Finer details of human anatomy have long escaped him; because Chris never draws women with pronounced hips, the results tend to resemble children or men, with unfortunate implications in either case.

[[Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|thumb|This car will either always veer left or never run at all.]]

Despite boasting that his "drawings of perspective viewpoints are surpassive[sic]"<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> due to his training in [[CADD]], Chris constantly fails at perspective, with objects implied to be far-away depicted too large. This is evident in his many [[Son-Chu|vehicle designs]], where the front is usually a direct frontal (90 degree) view, regardless of the view angle of other sides. This inability to demonstrate parallel lines renders the car distorted. The lack of any concept of shading only further destroys any semblance of perspective; legs that are implied to be bent forward at the knee only end up looking shorter.

Possibly the worst offender is Chris's constant omission of backgrounds. Most scenes happen only on the white backdrop of the paper. Apparently, readers are supposed to infer what the background looks like based on context. Thus, simply drawing a wide-angle shot of the scenery as the first (usually transitional) panel in a scene would suffice. Combined with his inability to make a proper layout, many action scenes end up becoming a jumble of characters moving around without regards to sequence. The reason he does this is probably the same as the reason why he textwalls so often: to "save marker ink", meaning he's lazy. (Incidentally, the proper use of white space and the conservation of painted space is a key element in East Asian art, but despite his anime obsession he is unlikely to have heard of this.)

A related phenomenon is simply drawing characters as floating disembodied heads. The [[Magi-chan|deus ex machina/exposition machine]] is the biggest victim of this. Once again, Chris could not be arsed to draw a full body. Thus, combining all known forms of "marker ink conservation", some pages are just a bunch of floating heads speaking walls of text.

Chris owns at least one book about drawing manga, as seen in [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]. The book in itself covers everything to do with portraying couples, including images of couples in bed making love. Whether Chris bought it to better draw out his delusional fantasies or for more material to gawk at during [[mass debating|Mass debating]] isn't known. Either way, the book has taught him nothing.
{{clear}}

=== Character design ===
::''See also [[Chris and Writing#Characterization|Characterization]]''

A large portion of Sonichu's cast is clearly derivative of existing characters. In addition to the obvious Sonic the Hedgehog recolors, Chris has lifted designs from any anime, video game, or even western animation he is fond of, with no regard for visual consistency.

Beyond that, he doesn't even bother trying to design better clothing for his characters. Most of them wear stereotypical "basic" clothing and Chris himself wears his usual clown shirts and pants. With the sole exception of [[Meg-chan]], every female that shows up in his comics wears high-heeled dress shoes.

Even when the source of Chris's plagiarism is readily apparent, these lifts can still add up to less than the sum of their parts. Inspired by the fusion characters of ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[God of War]]'', [[Collosal Chan]] looks more like a hobo than a fusion of Chris and Chris-Chan Sonichu. Though clearly his own effort to design Baby [[Pokémon]], [[Sonee and Rosey]] look more unnerving than adorable.

===Fan service===

[[wikipedia:Fan service|Fan service]] is a term used to describe something that is meant to tease or please the audience. It can refer to any content seen as an effort to appease the desires of fans, but is used primarily, and in this section, to describe scenes of a sexually titillating nature.

Since his discovery by the Internet, Chris has inserted increasingly large amounts of fan service into the initially tame Sonichu in an effort to assert the heterosexuality of himself and his characters. The range of fan service in ''Sonichu'' includes panty shots, Rosechus [[women's rights|stripping]], cameltoe indentations, and even a full [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|sex scene]] followed by four pages of text and diagrams describing Sonichu and Rosechu's sexual anatomy.

Due to his lack of artistic faculties, much of Chris's depictions of sexuality are highly unsettling to most readers. Any attempts to add "sexy" material come across as Chris's own wish-fulfillment, rather than attempts by Chris to please his audience.

While the point of fan service is to hint at sexuality in an otherwise clean work meant for general audiences, Sonichu's sexual content hides nothing and disturbs many, despite the fact that Chris has always viewed Sonichu as a comic intended for children.

==Animation==

Most recently, Chris has taken up a new medium in the form of animation. Using the Nintendo DSi program ''Flipnote Studios'', Chris has taken his drawing to a whole new level. Or at least could have. His drawing has degraded greatly when doing artwork here, mostly due to using the DS's stylus pen. When doing animations, his characters have very little fluid movement to them and they seem to jerk and wobble, as if they're characters from ''Ed, Edd & Eddy'' or ''Home Movies''. The best one to tell of this is the [[Don'tGetTrolled!]] animation. You can tell which part was animated by Chris and which part was animated by the original author, 8-Bit, due to the fact that Chris's artwork just wobbles in a distorted fashion.

== Chris and the industry ==
{{main|Chris and the industry}}

In the [[Sonichu Chronicles]] and [[Chris's resume]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his art is of professional quality, and expects to enter the comic and video game industries. His résumé states a desire to produce Sonichu comics under contract for Marvel Entertainment or Archie Comics. By all indications, this is an idle wish as Chris expects to be approached by these companies first. Chris has consistently shown little comprehension of, or interest in learning about, how the creative industries actually work.

==Originality==

He has [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|none]]. Let's leave it at that.

==Plagiarism==

: ''See also: [[Chris and copyright]]''

Sonichu is a fine blend of a wide variety of recognizable copyrighted elements. Just about any existing medium that Chris has ever expressed a fondness for appears in some capacity.

Chris has a long history of claiming all credit for fan characters initially acknowledged as being created by others and offered for use in Chris's comics. The first of these were [[Megagi]], [[Jiggliami]] and [[Layla]], but the most infamous instance, and the one that Chris defended the most fervently, was [[Simonla Rosechu]].

At the same time, Chris once had a policy of threatening nonexistent legal action against the creators of any Sonichu fan art he could find, and was worked into a [[12 January 2010|magnificent rage]] over the Sonichu-derivative fan work [[Asperchu]].

As well, Chris has gone so far as to take [[Don'tGetTrolled!|a video]] and alter it to suit his needs. Now, granted, there were other videos done using that same video, but where they just altered the stick character or sped up the video in the same vein as a YouTube Poop, Chris completely and utterly altered the video to suit his needs so that a humorous video over [[trolling]] is turned into Chris's mouthpiece to destroy Freedom of Speech to make the Internet safer for him.

===Tracing===

'''Tracing''' is an art technique where another piece of art, in whole or part, is copied along its outlines. As a means of producing original art claimed as one's own, tracing is a form of plagiarism.

Images traced from existing copyrighted content appear regularly in Sonichu. Chris traces with the "Reflecta Sketch," a since discontinued toy tracing kit produced by Spin Master. The kit comes with a reflective piece of plastic where an original can be placed to the left and the reflection is used for tracing an outline. This is why most traced images in Sonichu are mirror images of the original work. Due to their poor quality, consistent in appearance with Sonichu art that is not traced, these traced images often go unnoticed as tracing. The fact that Chris [[Fail|fails]] even at tracing is a surprise to no one.

Alternatively, Chris uses these images as references and simply tries to draw images based on them. This is no worse than directly tracing the outlines, but better explains why his results are so distorted in respect to their references. Chris probably uses a combination of both techniques (as some images look closer to their originals than others), showing utter lack of skill and originality either way.

===Traced images from the Sonichu Comic===
<center><gallery>
Image:Trace1.jpg
Image:Trace2.jpg
Image:Trace3.jpg
Image:Trace4.jpg
Image:Trace5.jpg
Image:Trace6.jpg
Image:Aquateenvssonichu.jpg
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg
Image:RClina.jpg
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg
Image:Bumble-Lumba-Bumblebee.jpg
Image:Prowl prower.jpg
Image:SOUNDAXE.JPG
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg
Image:Familyguytrace.png
Image:Cwct1.JPG
</gallery></center>

==Rule 34==

[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|Chris's creations believe that his [[Rule 34]] artwork is "lifelike".]]

Chris has no shame, and neither does his artwork. Of his many sexually explicit drawings, the most damning one of all is [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]], which brought an end to the Megan Saga and cemented the notion that Chris was an incestuous [[pedofork]].

As seen in this gallery, Chris can't even copy bad porn to save his life, with Rosechu turning into a deformed monstrosity in each panel, all for the sake of [[Chris and sex|sex]]. Especially noticeable is the final picture, which shows off a recurring trend in his pictures: the "Glowing Cunt", in which Chris draws the "[[cum]]" from the woman ''around'' and ''outside'' the vagina instead of from the inside, making it appear to glow.

It can be reasonably assumed that all of the images in this gallery are traced, and that those not paired plagiarized source material simply have yet to have their "inspirations" discovered.

=== Gallery of traced Rule 34 pictures ===

{{collapsible
|Incredibly horrific and NSFW, this is your last chance to escape with your sanity
|<gallery>
Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 2.JPG
Image:chrischantraced3.jpg
Image:Chris-chan Traced 4.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 5.JPG
</gallery>}}

==Art gallery==

Seen below is a selection of Chris's public school art assignments, from a slideshow on Chris's homemade [[DVD]]. At his high school graduation, Chris expected to be "Highly Recognized" for his "ARTISTIC TALENT," represented in this body of work. When he was not, he cried.<ref>[[Manchester High School#Graduation]]</ref> This work was produced under the supervision of a professional art instructor and the incentive for Chris to give each piece more thought, care and attention than he now prefers to when creating only for his own satisfaction. Despite this, they're still terrible.

{{collapsible
|Gallery of Chris's art
|<gallery>
Image:441-CubScoutShield.JPG|Defending the honor of [[Chris and health|junk food everywhere!]]
Image:442-HedgehogShark1.JPG|Sculpted in such a way that it looks like a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|toilet]] at first blush.
Image:443-HedgehogShark2.JPG
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|Fox McCloud one month after crash-landing in the middle of Africa.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|The result of Rosechu's late-term abortion.
Image:446-CWCWeave.JPG|The teacher quickly thought up something to keep Chris occupied for the rest of the lesson.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Coming soon from Franklin Mint...
Image:448-CWCWigwam.JPG|Ancient relic of the [[Cherokian Clan]].
Image:449-CWCDreamCatcher.JPG|It doesn't catch dreams. It ''stares into your soul.''
Image:450-HedgehogFish1.JPG|Sad to say, it was originally Chris who came up with the "Long fish is loooooo
Image:451-HedgehogFish2.JPG|oooooooooooong" meme.
Image:452-CWCsBunchOfArt.jpg|Scan of a print of a photograph of drawings. How very meta!
Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|[[Autism]] is in Living Room. Autism is in Wife. Autism is in Children and - well - Autism is in Life.
Image:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|A rare shot of Chris's largely forgotten Pokémons, Espanolic and Vegaton.
Image:459-CWCsBanjo.JPG|Banjo, the champion of Christianity and bright colors.
Image:460-CWCsComputerGraphicsPoster.JPG|In the first lesson, the computer graphics teachers usually say something like "don't go crazy with the effects, m'kay?" Chris never listens.
Image:463-SonicAndTailsBunch.jpg|Magic Eye picture that reveals absolutely nothing. We tried.
Image:464-CWCSpeckle.jpg|The teacher who traumatized Chris wasn't actually the principal - it was the art teacher, who forced Chris to make a drawing with prickly-wicklies.
Image:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|An ash tray that shoots tobacco straight to the Sun - powered by dark magic.
Image:466-CWCNecklace.jpg
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|It's... off-center.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Sonic [[Yawning Squirtle|unfocuses]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's shield was eaten.
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Following in Ed Gein's footsteps.
Image:472-CWCWingCapDish.JPG
Image:473-YarnPot.JPG
Image:474-SquarePot.JPG
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|A relaxing person who bears little resemblance to Chris.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|The same. Hilariously enough, [http://www.miketyndall.com/todd_goldman/ Todd Goldman] ripped off the "[[White knight#Chris will reject your advice|I just don't listen]]" things on the background. Everything is interconnected! [[Soul Calibur|Tracing and ignorance, fiercely entangled!]]
Image:477-PastelDuoPic.JPG
Image:478-PastelHorses.JPG
Image:479-PastelSunset.JPG
Image:482-SwirlingEspanolics.JPG
Image:483-RainbowLeaf.JPG
Image:484-MergingPeople.JPG|Art class pictures usually have some sort of central idea the teacher gave to the students. Chris is unable to communicate it to us.
Image:485-CWCsF.JPG|It's a passable drawing, so it's possible Chris didn't fail the class. But if it is a drawing of failure, did he also create his first time paradox here?
Image:486-CWCcatchesaPikachu.JPG|Chris approaches a wild Pikachu, aiming to bash its brains out with a rare pygmy Electrode.
Image:487-CWCMergedinArt.jpg|A clever idea. Probably his teacher's, though.
Image:488-100_0521.JPG|Something that looks like the shopping mall, but actually isn't.
Image:489-100_0522.JPG|"I wish I were in [[Inos|Jamacia]]" (sic). Deep-rooted wishes, I see.
Image:490-100_0523.JPG|Colorful arboreal antics.
Image:491-100 0524.JPG|Possibly "L" and "O". Could be a corruption of LOL.
Image:492-100 0525.JPG|Raichu, the Turbo Megazord, Sonic, Game Boy and Nintendo 64 controller.
Image:493-100 0526.JPG|See, he ''can'' draw a proportional drinking straw. [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] was ''deliberate''.
Image:494-100 0527.JPG|Indistinct shapes, possibly [[Crass and Champ|crabs]].
Image:495-100 0528.JPG|A collage of weird local imagery.
Image:496-100 0529.JPG|Daffodils. which, in Greek mythology, first came forth as a result of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. Also: Skeleton.
Image:497-100 0530.JPG|[[Christian's name change|The bear]] keeps on truckin'.
Image:498-100 0531.JPG|[[fapcup|Jars]]. A proudly standing bottle and a tomato, casting nice round shadows.
Image:499-100 0532.JPG|Mysterious floating keyring.
Image:500-100 0533.JPG|Not sure what ''this'' is, but it looks a bit phallic.
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|Chris's Ash Ketchum get-up.
Image:503-100 0537.JPG|Pikachu, Mew, what looks like Chris's personal Pokégear stuff, and an ad for [[CWC's Pokésite 2]].
Image:504-100 0538.JPG|[[April 16 Fetish Vids|Shower]]???
Image:505-100 0539.JPG
Image:506-100 0540.JPG|[[R.L. Stine]] books and Pokémon.
</gallery>}}

==Costume Design==
Continuing his trend of using the cheapest materials possible while incorporating only the vaguest of likenesses, Chris's foray in cosplay is par for the course with his hand-drawings. After resuming a regular stream of [[YouTube]] vids, [[Song for Jackie.MOV|Chris dressed up as Mr. Popo.]] The outfit consisted of the vest from the [[Chris and fashion#The "Gay Trucker" outfit|gay trucker outfit,]] a towel wrapped around his head, and black and red face paint. Later he would don a [[100 2265|facsimile of The Hamburglar.]] This time we got to see the [[Muscle bra|muscle bra]] covered in black bands joined by electrical tape (possibly construction paper) and a mask with white paper over his eyes. The next day we got to witness [[100 2266|Chris as The Grimace]], another [[McDonald's]] icon, lazily made by taping purple construction paper to his face and chest. Three days later Chris uploaded a trifecta of videos testament to his newly acquired affinity for playing dress-up. First was Chris mocking [[Clyde Cash]] in [[100 2267|<s>black</s>brownface]] combined with an attempt to slick back his greasy, unwashed [[Hair|hair.]] Next was his most elaborate construction paper costume yet; an almost passing likeness of Paul McCartney's costume from the [[Wikipedia:Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band]] album cover. Amazingly, he managed to get the color right. Finally, Chris [[100 2270|went on a rant while impersonating]] [[Alec Benson Leary]]. Again unceremoniously taped to his chest were several sheets of construction paper made to resemble his [[Chris and fashion|signature clown shirt]] while wearing the The [[Asperchu Medallion]]. Why use paper instead of just wearing the shirt? Possibly to mock how Alec (and [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]], for some reason) are [[Chris and his Ego|not the genuine article.]] Of course, it's also possible he simply [[Obesity|out grew it.]]

==Tl;dr==
Chris is an anti-artist.

== Sauces ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

A Hike

2010-10-10T04:05:32Z

BreadGod:

[[File:monticello.jpeg|thumb|The "village" of Monticello.]]
'''A Hike''' is a rare video that takes place both during the day and outdoors. The video is broken up into small chunks with [[Chris]] alternating between hiking and filming, [[Chris and health|presumably the exertion from walking up a slight grade requires all the energy he can muster]]. In what can be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]], he is immediately out of breath after the first cut and continues to deteriorate from that point.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Hike
| video = {{#ev:youtube|37pXWB9rjBU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

''[Chris is filming himself with his handheld camera. He is sitting in his car in broad daylight. Children scream in the background]''

Quarter after three now. I'm gonna be making my way up a mountain trail nearby [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monticello The Monticello]. I'll check back in about a quarter of an hour. I've got my [unintelligible], my camera here and my phone. Be okay.

''[Jump Cut, Chris has begun to labor in his breathing]''

Ah, just a few minutes into my little hiking trail. So I walk off course to visit the little woodland theater or [unintelligible] that my congregation and I visited one past Sunday and now I'm gonna walk up further up the trail and I'll be back in a-

''[Jump Cut, Chris is standing still.]''

Another trail as got explored by me, so I'm gonna take a little look up the trail and see what's up this way. Check it a bit, it is quite a mysterious forest. Along the mountain beside The Monticello.

''[Cut to dead tree]''

Hm. A tree that has been uprooted by a past weather event, along the side of this path. Deep in the chasm, that forms a river. Which could be a river, if there was more water in it.

''[Jump Cut, Chris's heavy breathing is slowly replacing the narration as the dominant soundtrack]''

Deeper and deeper into the forest the trail goes, where it leads? I don't know yet. There's a rock with moss. Moss grows on the north side. On tree bark or rock formations. I just walked across a wooden plank. ''[Prolonged gasping for air]'' If you think it's spooky. Well, you're wrong. Because it's only a stick I've stepped on. A really big stick. North is that way! As I have seen, on this rock and it's mold.

''[Narration becomes slower and slower with more breaks]'' Huh, look at that. A tree bit formation with moss on the wrong side. Bet it got twisted and turned. That's why it's on the wrong side. Isn't it?

It is a sunny day in the village of Monticello. It's even a sunny day in the forest. Things may or may not be well, we'll see what what happens as we walk long this trail ''[Breathing continues horribly]''

Huh, another tree fallen. ''[Chris sings]'' Free fallin'. Cut up 'chucks. Ah, look at this, a bit of an open field. A field that is open. Preferred by one animal or two, or so. Quite possibly, they know that people go this way in the fork of the road. On their way back to civilization and I'm not ready to head back just yet. Look at that ''[[Chris points the camera at a tree]'' a shade of red on this tree. One would suppose, rotted? Or dead wood? Or perhaps it is just dirty from dirt and grime thrown upon by it's wondrous past.
[[File:Blairchris.png|thumb|The parallels are eerie.]]

Over here, there's another big tree. OVER THERE! Fallen and uprooted.

''[Heavy breathing, slow walking, shaky camera]''

Quite a chasm down there. If that were water, it probably would be a river. A big one.

''[Heavy breathing followed by a burp]''

Goin' up a trail, not down the trail. Goin' up a trail not down the trail.

I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and it's revels. A bug buzzing about me. Not busy as a bumble bee.

''[Camera spends prolonged periods of time pointed at the ground, Chris is now gulping air.]''

''[Two pained grunts]''

Whew, a long way up we have gotten.

''[Chris is stumbling with exhaustion and stops midway on the trail]''

Well I think we've reached the end of our trail, not too many ways to go, yeah? We have reached a dead end.
''[Camera clearly shows the trail continuing off to the right, despite Chris's claims to the contrary]''

In just a moment, I'm going to head by to my car. Take a hiking trail of your own, if you will, in your own forest where there in dwell.

''[Jump Cut]''

Another commentary note, if you will, for down that big trail at that major fork with the clearing, we find an overlook. Let's take a look over.

Hm. Vast glorious view from here. As was portrayed and enjoyed by a Carter family.

''[Chris points the camera at himself. He is simultaneously flushed, pale and drenched with sweat]''

Signing off now, y'all take care and be s-

October 2010

2010-10-07T23:47:52Z

BreadGod:

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|Chris is now certifiably insane.]]
'''October 2010''' sees the [[Jackie]] Saga ongoing, another excuse towards [[Michael Snyder]] and the prospect that Chris's "Trollbusters" antics are likely to continue.

Following the "success" of his performance as Mr. Popo from last month, Chris appears to have to taken a liking to dress up in various half-assed, homemade costumes consisting of tape, facepaint and construction paper.

==Events of October 2010==
* 1 October - Chris makes an [[100 2261.MOV|apology video]] to [[The GAMe PLACe]], laying the blame for his behavior on [[video game]]-induced [[stress]]. [[Wikipedia#October 2010|The third attempt]] at a Wikipedia article is also made.
* 2 October - Chris uploads two videos. In the first, he demonstrates his like for Mary Poppins by [[I like Mary Poppins|dancing like the chimney sweeps]]. The second video is a full version of the [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|Lars Is Jivin']] video Chris uploaded at the end of last month.
* 3 October - Chris uploads a video where he [[100 2265|dresses up as the Hamburglar]].
* 4 October - Chris decides to [[100 2266|dress up as Grimace]] and sings a song about bullying.
* 7 October - Chris uploads three videos, [[100 2267|impersonating]] [[Clyde Cash]], [[100 2269|the Beatles]], [[100 2270|and]] [[Alec]]
{{Timeline}}

100 2269

2010-10-07T23:43:48Z

BreadGod:

[[File:paul-mccartney.jpg|thumb|Paul reacts]]

'''100 2269''' is the second of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris has [[Gitar of Fail]] out again, but this time actually uses it to play The Beatles's "[[Wikipedia:A Day in the Life|A Day in the Life]]" on [[Wikipedia:The Beatles: Rock Band|The Beatles: Rock Band]]. In addition, he warbles tunelessly along with the track. He mentions Jackie at least once in the video, saying he will "turn her on". Chris is wearing what appears to be a poorly done replica of a Sgt. Pepper costume, crafted in construction paper.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2269
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tGQjcZxXtZo}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2267]]
| next = [[100 2270]]
}}

===Transcription===

''[In a bad cockney accent]'' Hello loves, good evening now. I'm Paul McCartney and I'm going to sing you a song. It's "A Day In The Life". And it is a good day. In the life. Yeah. It's a day for livin', it's a beautiful day over here in Virginia. Rock on England!

''[Mic effect]'' Good evening, loves.

''[Starts playing on the gitar]''

I read the news today oh boy 
About a luucky man who made the grade 
And though the new... b.. rather sad! 
I just had to laugh 
I saw the photograph 
He blew his mind out in the car 
He didn't notice that the lights had changed 
A crowd of people stood and stared 
They'd seen his face before 
Nobody was really sure... he from.. house of lords...

I saw a film today oh boy 
The English army had just won the war 
A crowd of people turned away 
But I just had to look 
Haa..ving read the book 

I love to tuuuurn youuu oon...

Woo...

''[Chris misses many notes in the solo]''

Woke up, feell out of bed, dragged a comb across myy head... 
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup 
And looking up I noticed I was late 
Found my coat and grabbed my hat 
Made the bus in seconds flat 
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke, 
and Somebody spoke and I went into a dream 

Aahhaaahhhhhahahaaaaaaahhh

I read the news today oh boy 
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire 
And though the holes were rather small 
They had to count them all 
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall 
I'd love to turn you on 

Yeah Jackie, [[For J-R's Eyes Only|I'd love to turn you on]] too girl. ''[Chuckles]''

''[Plays to the end, hitting the whammy bar]''

Longest note you've ever heard, huh? I wish it would end already... Jeez, will ya end already ya dang notes?

''[At 5:23 a high-pitched feedback noise can be heard, which lasts till the end of the video.]''

''[Goes to turn camera off]''

I'll spare you the sentiments.

==See also==
*[[100 2267]]
*[[100 2270]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2267]]|nextlink=[[100 2270]]}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-10-07T23:34:41Z

BreadGod: /* Transcript */

[[File:128469211411.jpg|thumb|The greatest show on earth]]

'''Song for Jackie.MOV ''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] to [[YouTube]] 16 [[September 2010]]. In another attempt to impress [[Jackie]], Chris dons a turban and paints his face in black and red to resemble [http://dragonball.wikia.com/wiki/Mr._Popo Mr. Popo] from ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]'' and [[Chris and Music|"sings"]] his version of [[Wikipedia:Mmm_Mmm_Mmm_Mmm|"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"]] by [[Wikipedia:Crash_Test_Dummies|Crash Test Dummies]].

Note that "sings" is in quotes because Chris's grating mumblings make even his earlier [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|ill-fated music career]] sound like the work of a classically-trained soprano by comparison. Likely unaware of the similarity of his makeup to [[Niggos|blackface]], he rounds out the performance with an impromptu [[Wikipedia:Minstrel show|minstrel song]] adapted from the Spike Lee movie ''[[Wikipedia:Bamboozled|Bamboozled]]'', his [[muscle bra|masculine bosoms]] flailing wildly with each gyration.

It is also worth noting that the original song's lyrics (which tell of two children who carry deformities, but glad they are not in a "[[Autism|Holy Roller]]"-style church like the third child of the song) denote either Chris's inability of getting the message of (even [[Kacey|blatant]] and [[BlueSpike|thinly veiled]]) [[Family_guy#Influence_on_Chris|satire]], his desperation in his [[Love Quest]], or both. Instead, he [[Asperger syndrome|uses the limelight]] [[Chris and his ego|for himself]], while also implying that Jackie too has some deformity that is forgivable by the Nietzschean (or Nietzsch-Chan) superman that is Chris.

Showing his usual amount of knowledge regarding other [[Chris and Religion|religions]], Chris makes reference to Hinduism despite the fact that genies (or djinni) are an Arabic concept. As if racially insensitive behaviour is not enough, Chris manages to add some religious ignorance to the mix, achieving precisely the opposite of what he intended by informing any Hindus and black people who may be watching that he meant no offense.

At this point, Jackie's reaction is unknown, but it's expected that [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] will soon be shot to pieces by [[niggos|G's]] from da hood.

==Video==

{{quotebox|Attention, I am portraying the Dragonball Character, Mr. Popo.

I am not, [[:File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|nor would ever]], making fun of any [[black people]] living, [[Chris and Death|dead]] or fiction. Nor am I making fun of the Hindu people. Both of which, Blacks and Hindus, are good people too.

Again, this video presentation is NOT meant to make fun of the Blacks or the Hindus. It is only a video for my girlfriend to cosplay as Mr. Popo from the Dragonball Television Series.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Song For Jackie
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TzAJvMKQeJA}}
| stardate = 16 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Racism|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[XBox is OK.MOV]]
| next = [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:jolsonshock.jpg|thumb|left|Al Jolson is appalled by Chris's faggotry]]
[[File:Leadbelly.jpg|thumb|Leadbelly's reaction to this video]]
[[File:PopoWTF.jpg|thumb|Mr. Popo is not amused]]

[''fake sounding accent''] 'Ello. I am [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] wearing genie, [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]. [''nods and folds his arms, then turns on audio''] I tell you a story. It is a good story. You will enjoy story.

[''plays "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"'']

[''starts "singing" ''] Once there was this boy [''flashes manboobs''] who was born with some autism and yet made a few friends, but after his [[high school]] years he...[[ShecameforCWC.JPG|lost]]...his [[gal pals|friends]] and was [[Stress|troll tortured]]. By [[Trolls|bullies]] who were [[Chris and his Ego|jealous of his material things]] [wiggles his head from side to side and waggles his finger] Nonononononono. [''hums'']

Once there was this girl who continued to have friends long after high school. She could have had her pick of men. But then she found the wayward lost boy. They matched up very well, [[:File: SchuComic10P09.jpg|heavenly matched]]...
Loooove, he was so[?]... [''hums'']

And both [''starts to say 'boy', turns it into 'girl'''] [[Gay|boirl]] and boy were glad when they both saw each other's eyes. When they met up! They both thought of each other. Very often! They had enjoyed each other's company sweetly. Oh, roller coaster ecstasy. [[Chris and Reality|In fantasy]], their days were simple and they looked to be married and have their own [[Reginald Chandler|boy]]. And [[Crystal|girl]]. It's true! Wait for [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|marriage invitations]]!

[''Suddenly animated, imitating fiddle player''] And there ain't no Saiyans on de [[Gitar of Fail|fiddle]], no Saiyans on de fiddle like this! Ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle, no Saiyans on de fiddle like this!

[''begins to dance what is most likely a continuation of whatever Minstrel Song he saw; a mockery of African aboriginal dancing'']
Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!
Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!

And there ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle, no Saiyans on de fiddle like this! Ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle, no Saiyans on de fiddle like this!

Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!
Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!

[''spoken''] Happy [[hanky-panky|loving]]! Between me and Jackie! I love you [[sweetheart]]. Boing!

==See also==
* [[For My Sweetest Ivy]]
* [[A CWC Audition]]
* [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|For J-R's Eyes Only]]
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[XBox is OK.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2270

2010-10-07T23:30:35Z

BreadGod: /* Transcription */

'''100 2270''' is the third of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In it, he does a painful impression of [[Alec Benson Leary]] in a terrible British accent, in an attempt to mock him. Half the time his insults are [[Chris and English|unintelligible]] and his mangling of an English accent does nothing to aid his insults.

Chris appears to confuse Alec with [[Liquid Chris]] at several points. This is either Chris being the idiot he is or it means that he believes that Liquid and Alec are the same person. He also proceeds to beat the dead horse about not only how Alec put [[Homos|homosexual imagery in Asperchu]], but about how violent Asperchu can be. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Because we all know that Sonichu doesn't have]] [[Sonichu 10|gore, violence and needless killing of characters]], right?

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2270
| video = {{#ev:youtube|l8ir2SbF5T4}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2269]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

''[Odd voice]'' Ello, web! Dis is Christian Weston Chandler 'ere! But I'm no-I'm not really Christian Weston Chandler, and I'm not the creator of Sonichu because I live in Philidelphia! I was born in Philidelphia! At least as far as I know. [[Things Chris has ripped off|I don't have any originality]], or idea points because I never put up a page of my own! In real life, and still I only mock the real Christian Weston Chandler in Virginia-and now I am mocking Alec Benson Leary, I am pretending to be Alec Benson Leary, oh look at me I'm Alec, I draw teeeerrribly, I draw everything in squares, I put homosexual drawings in the background, I kill everybody! I put gore all over the floor and blood all over the place, I killed the real Christian Weston Chandler, I even killed the origina-I even killed the second dude, who pretended to be the original! Anyway, I'm Christian Chandler, I live in Philidelphia, I have a girlfriend, her name is Kacey, except we're married now! And she coulda had the real Christian Weston Chandler, who lives in Virginia, except I'm just a Christian Chandler who lives in Philidelphia! Now I'm sorry, I didn't mean Philidelphia, I meant to say Pennsylvania! Pennsylvania! But I pretended to be the original Christian Weston Chandler and rent movies from Blockbuster in Peennsylvaniaa! And the phone call was sent to the real deal, the real man in Virginia.

Yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yaddblahblahblahyahbahblahyablahlalalalalah!

''[Pause]''

Hey baby hit me one more time! I done it from my head! Bye now!

==See also==
*[[100 2267]]
*[[100 2269]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2269]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User talk:The 4horsemen project

2010-10-07T01:49:23Z

BreadGod: Created page with "==Skwisgaar told me to give you this message== "Your idea ams dildos. Go homes, takes a shower, and wash the shames of yous." --~~~~"

==Skwisgaar told me to give you this message==
"Your idea ams dildos. Go homes, takes a shower, and wash the shames of yous." --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 18:49, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:General

2010-10-07T00:11:42Z

BreadGod: /* Need CWC E-Mail */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

*[[CWCki:General/Archive 1|Archive 1]]

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Da update is used for Chris updates...but what about other updates? ==
For example, I don't think the Lucas video game pictures should be on the update, but it should be noteworthy. Should it placed in da update or no? Also if you're wondering what pictures, I'M WORKING ON IT. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:33, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:Where should I stick the pictures? I uploaded them with Lucas commentary on them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:42, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
::I think either the list of Chris's games article or the video games article. Leaning towards the video games article, if only because the list article is already pretty damned huge. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:07, 10 September 2010 (PDT)

== Image purge project ==
According to the Spongepedia (also hosted by dreamhost), 500 internal server error may be caused by TOO MANY IMAGES. In any case, I'm sick of seeing shitty images that do nothing to enhance articles as well. please tag images that are useless on their talk pages for deletion. kthx [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:45, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
*Based on what you told me about the Spongebob wiki, their problem was also due to image size. Perhaps if we work on resizing images down to less than 30kb?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:34, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::Eh, the 500 errors are a configuration/setup issue. I highly doubt images are the root cause. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:44, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
:::No, it's a general agreed consensus that the 500 internal server error is occurring more often nowadays. It has to do with an increasing amount of SOMETHING. I'm going by this only lead right now. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:09, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::::I mostly get 500 errors on pages that are large - that is - the body of text is large. Images really seem to have a negligible effect on whether a page 500's for me or not. We should think carefully about whether going about an image purge will largely be a wasted effort and/or do more harm than good towards error fixing (generating more edits - which may also form part of the problem). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:06, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Overlooked interview? ==

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed on the talk page for [[Chris-chan_Discusses...]], the subject of a previous interview was brought up, and Champ said he didn't want to put it on until they had a youtube version for it. A year later, someone did. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR_PrPHC2l0 The video doesn't have many views, and I don't believe it has an article for it. I'm not sure if any of this is relevant, but I wanted to draw attention to it in case it needs an article or some other mention.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 06:03, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris and diligence article? ==

Christian's work ethics and his laziness are rightfully infamous, but there isn't an article dealing with it en detail. I'd make it myself but due to stress and my poor grasp of English I'd rather hear the opinions of others on it before making a crappy attempt. --[[User:Maximilian Graves|Maximilian Graves]] 07:58, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
** Strangely enough, I was thinking the same thing. Though with how lazy he is, the article would probably grow to be almost as large as the article on sex. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:04, 15 September 2010 (EST)

== My response to the site administrator. ==

Just a few days ago, a member of our forums decided to claim that we were involved in attacks on your wiki. We were notified by the administrator of your site on a locked topic supposedly thanking us for our actions placed on PSPownsYou (or PBML) and also requested action on another supposed participant named Level1isbest. I just want to point out that we have no intention of harming your site and that the involved parties are a bunch of fucking trolls, but then again every person on Newgrounds does it for the lulz, not including school shootings (Jeff Weise). Sorry for any inconvienence. [[User:Tateos|Tateos]] 16:25, 15 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris and Morality Page==

Though his morality has been mentioned on several other pages, I think it would be best to have one page dedicated to his morality, or lack there-of, and where it comes from, mainly his ego. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:07, 15 September 2010 (EST)
: Frankly, if it's coming from his ego, it should be mentioned on the [[ego]] page. This is, however, unless there's enough to justify a major Chris and page.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:37, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
:: I don't really think Chris's morality needs its own page, as it would end up being a documentation of all the times he's been a horrible person (huge list), and all of the reasons behind it (troll speculation). These issues are already covered rather in depth on Chris's own page, the White Knighting page, the pages on Chris's Lies, Things Chris Has Ripped Off, Women's Rights, Homos etc. I feel a page purely about what a bad person he is is redundant (and self-evident besides). [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 09:46, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== so i did some spring cleaning today. ==
http://www.mediafire.com/?q6dsbzkgteqxpp6 - and then i realized it was autumn. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 17:44, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:Does the great Clyde wish for these to be uploaded to their appropriate articles? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:49, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

::No, I want them to stay in this link forever and never be posted on the CWCki. Ever. EVER. This is the reason why I posted on the CWCki, to ensure that would happen. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:50, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

I was doing some spring cleaning too, little cuz! I was going through my emails and then suddenly i stumbled upon this pic of CWC that WallFlower gave to me awhile back! As The Ancient Hawaiians used to say: A clean coconut is a clean soul. http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/7886/cwcinkilt.jpg [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 17:58, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:lol at the Marge Simpson poster - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:23, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

== Tugboat icon I made for Donations ==

[[File:Tugboat_donate_icon.png]] Enjoy!
[[User:Shiny|Shiny]] 13:31, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
*Include your CWCki username with your donation and you'll receive a SPECIAL, LIMITED EDITION user box for your page and you'll receive a "si a pretty cool guy" quote from yours truly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:23, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

So hey, I wanted to donate some shinies but my PayPal only gives out my dox rather than my CWCki username. I'll set up a new PayPal account in a bit. Gmail's the best way to go about it, right? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:26, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

== Faithfulness ==
Is there an article on Chris and his faithfulness to his "sweethearts", cause I was just skimming through Sonichu 10 where he claims Blanca is his true and honest sweetheart, but he's married in the future to Lovely Weather and slept with her, not to mention Meg? And that's probably not the only example one could think of. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 22:31, 29 September 2010 (EST)
*Just about every Sweetheart article showcases how unfaithful Chris is.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 15:32, 30 September 2010 (PDT)

== getting rid of the fan works section ==
it's just a drag on our servers. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:54, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:if anyone wants to argue against deleting the fan works section, speak up now plz. hurry! [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:32, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
::If it'll keep away the server errors then tear it down, burn the remains, and salt the earth. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:03, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
:::The section is bullshit that should have been killed months ago. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 19:26, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
Wasn't there plans for a wiki dedicated to fanworks? Whatever happened to that? For that matter, why is the fanworks section still up at all? Cogsdev wanted it trimmed several months ago.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 00:41, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:http://789chan.org/cxc/ [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:12, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
Can you give us an idea for an exact date for the deletion? I'd like to go through and save everything. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 20:22, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:I'll save it all in a zip file. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:24, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

There's hardly anything left that's worth keeping. I say go for it.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 20:44, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:Dunno guys, [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Fan:Choose_Your_Own_Adventure this for example] is ace and I'll miss it. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 01:59, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

In that case, move the Mailbag References page out of the Fan category. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 03:56, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

:As I mentioned on the fan discussion (In case nobody read it) It would be an affront to not have any backups of the stories here. I finished up my story (Silent CWCville) so save the stories, redistribute them throughout the internet. And tell me where they'll be moved. Thanks. --[[User:Radiant Price|Radiant Price]] 16:44, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

If it's going to be saved and taken elsewhere, I say nuke it.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 21:15, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

Just do it! people can use /cwc/ to post their creepy fantasies --[[User:GOTDANG|GOTDANG]] 06:31, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

==Posting Kacey's Encounters with Chris==
Does anyone else feel that we should make a page with [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 Kacey's encounters with Chris] here? I mean, we reference it enough, and I think it's causing some confusion. Unless, of course, you feel that showing that Kacey was trolling him would be more confusing. [[user:Melainia|Melainia]] 12:20, 6 October 2010 (EST)
:That information is unsubstantiated. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 21:30, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
::Oh, true, I just wanted to ask. [[user:melainia|Melainia]] 12:53, 6 October 2010 (EST)
:I'm not so sure...Some of the information sounds feasable, And if I recall correctly during one of their final chats Kacey mentioned an IRL encounter with him. But at the moment I don't want for us to take any risks...Is it possible we can get a confirmation from Liquid? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 00:56, 6 October 2010 (EST)
::I do remember the sniffing incident being mentioned during the Father Call, and Chris did admit to touching her a lot. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 1:00, 6 October 2010 (EST)
:::liquid doesn't give a shit about this anymore. just let sleeping dogs lie with him. just forget about this stuff, we'll get the real story one day. maybe. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:08, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

==Need CWC E-Mail==

I'm looking to pull the wool over good ol' CWC's eyes via The 4Hoursemen project (details will be revealed later) but if it goes out the way i plan lulz will ensue but for these things to fall into play i need some way to talk to him.Would his youtube account work or will he not even respond on that? [[User:The 4horsemen project|The 4horsemen project]] 17:07, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*Sign your posts. It's just four ~'s.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 16:40, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*It's damn near impossible to get into contact with Chris. You'd have an easier time picking fly shit out of pepper while wearing boxing gloves. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:11, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova

2010-10-06T04:54:12Z

BreadGod:

'''"La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova"''' (i.e., '''The Kitchen in Casanova's House''') is the fifth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''.

More than anything else, this song demonstrates Chris's total mastery of the [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Spanish language]].

It should also be noted that Casanova is a famed ITALIAN lover, not Spanish, thus confirming the fact that Chris is a poorly-educated idiot.

==Listen==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|s_NjT6RX26c}}</center>

===Lyrics===

[''sung over [[Homos|Ricky Martin's]] "La Copa de La Vida"'']

¡Casanova! 
¡Casanova! 
¡Casanova! 

¡Estamos en la cocina! 
¡En la casa de Casanova! 
¡Estamos divertido, sí! [?] 
¡Bailamos con la música! 

¡Hay muchas chicas y niñas aquí 
En la casa! 

¡Casanova está muy feliz 
Porque está hacienda cosas calientes! 

¡Hace calor! ¡Hace calor! 
¡Casanova! 

Here we go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Esta noche… 
Esta noche sera 
Diversión! [?] 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Uno, dos, tres! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Un, deux, trois! 
¡Olé, olé olé! 

Because he 
Is Casanova! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Olé, olé! (¡Olé, olé!) [repeat to end] 

¡Casanova!

===Translation===

Casanova! 
Casanova! 
Casanova! 

We're in the kitchen! 
In Casanova’s house! 
We’re having fun, yes! 
We’re dancing with the music! 

[[Pedofork|There are lots of girls and girls here]] 
In the house! 

Casanova is very happy 
[[Sex|Because he’s doing hot things!]] 

It's hot! It's hot! 
Casanova! 

Here we go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

This night… 
This night will be 
Fun! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

One, two, three! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Un, deux, trois! 
¡Olé, olé olé! 

Because he 
Is Casanova! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Olé, olé! (¡Olé, olé!) [repeat to end] 

Casanova!

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]

Chris and fashion

2010-10-04T20:50:42Z

BreadGod: /* Cosplaying */

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his cruel, cruel [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] so people will notice the fact that he's [[Autism|"special"]] and [[Kick the Autistic|treat him with sympathy]]. Alternatively, it could be that the Chandlers just aren't exactly what you'd call "fashion savvy". Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts, possibly out of a strong aversion to change, a common trait of [[autistic]] people.

== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and T-shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of 2010 that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring the Horizontal Horror.]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a striped/weirdly patterned rugby shirt, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late 2009, a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBA]]" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==
[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he made a promise to leave the internet in the spring of 2010, Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the medallion for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person. The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a [[gay]] trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "[[homos|Mount and do me]]". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped himself later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!". The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.

In late August 2010, Chris returned to the internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting t-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class t-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in 2000, a Pokémon trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between 1998 and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the Sonichu Medallion and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white, and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his patriotism.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_27th%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_18th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|4]] [[CWC's_"It's_All_Coming_Back_To_Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show_RESPECT_to_me,_"C"CWC|12]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|13]] [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|14]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_24th%2C_2008|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_Columbus_Day%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_6th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_10th%2C_2009|4]] [[12_January_2010|5]] [[14_January_2010|6]] [[What's_the_Name,_Christian_Chandler,_C_H_R_I_S_C_H_A_N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2008|1]] [[Chop_Chop_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|2]] [[Magical Man Potion|3]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_17th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_4th%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|3]] [[Challenge_for_Clyde_II|4]] [[15_October_2009|5]] [[9_December_2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_10th%2C_2009|2]] [[Congrats,_Jack_Black|3]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_August_3rd%2C_2008|1]] [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|2]] [[LOOK_at_the_truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[More_for_the_crabs|2]] [[ECV_00081|3]] [[Bunny_Hop|4]] [[11052009_Kacey,_I_Love_You,_and_I_Need_You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_23rd%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|3]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_August_6th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_8th%2C_2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_13th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_6th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_9th%2C_2009|2]] [[I_am_devoted_to_My_Sweetest_Ivy|3]] [[Matthew_5_27%2C_CWC_Confessions|4]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_17th%2C_2009|5]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_22nd%2C_2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9_October_2009|8]] [[Warning_-_Naughty_Women_;)|9]] [[Old_Time_Rock_and_Roll_on_Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal_Legend|11]] [[3_December_2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris_Destroys_His_Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC_only_accepts_IN-PERSON_FEMALE_Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|8]] [[Hello,_Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_January_21st,_2009|1]] [[CWC_Callout_for_Miss_Emily_and_Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris_Chan's_Public_Announcement|1]] [[A_Sonichu_Day|2]] [[Shout_out_to_Fans_in_Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa_the_Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51_50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle_bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010_-_Autism_Awareness_%26_Men_Should_NEVER_be_Topless|1]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck|Duckie]] Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 28th, 2008|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

== Cosplaying ==
[[Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|thumb|That hat is pretty goddamn dirty]]

Chris appeared in his [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally created as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the 2004 [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against 5 kids dressed up as Team Rocket. The prize was a t-shirt.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref>

For a while, Chris resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]] and eventually evolved into the Gay Trucker.

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* Pokémon League ballcap
* Fanny-pack (Also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)
The ensemble is usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' tee-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below).

Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his [[obesity|obscene girth]].

<center><gallery>
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg|I piiimp my riiide!
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|This is the most depressing thing ever seen by man kind.
Image:Chris chan cosplay.jpg|You can tell this world is totally fucked-up when people start cosplaying ''as'' Chris
Image:Chris-Chan_Cosplay.jpg|Well, it's certainly scarier than any Halloween costume you'll see on any other kid.
Image:Niggocwc.jpg|CWC as Mr Popo
File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|CWC tries to look like the [[McDonalds|Hamburglar]], but he comes off as an even creepier version of [[Soul Calibur|Voldo]].
</gallery></center>

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:100 2265

2010-10-04T15:07:51Z

BreadGod: /* Is this video edited? */

{{Not A Forum}}
I made the page...I'm not even going to attempt to transcribe this BITCH because he only says rabble rabble the whole time...someone with a keen ear would be better at it than me. --[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 21:14, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, the only thing I can really understand is him saying onions, PICKLES, cheese towards the end.--[[User:Straw|Straw]] 21:32, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
::I believe he is supposed to be the Hamburgler and he may be using that old jingle from the 70s about McDonalds. Uh, shit. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:32, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:::K would be great if you could use the previous video articles as a template. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:40, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
Chris tries to look and act like the Hamburglar, but he comes off as creepy as Voldo. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:00, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:that's nice, please don't add useless comments like these see top kthx [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:03, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
Fixed a few of the unknowns, but I'm stuck on if there should be a bracketed comment by the word "bun" he definitely meant to say "bun," but it sounds like "gin" or "chin" the same for "all beef patties" the slogan is "all" but it sounds more like "whole" and I cannot figure out what the "deep frying" one is --[[User:TastyKayKs|TastyKayKs]] 22:07, 3 October 2010 (PDT)

==Tape==
He's not wearing black tape, those are more like black strings of black paper or cloth, joined by tape, if it were black tape it wouldn't fall off his chest--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 22:23, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bondage_tape --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:58, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
** No, you can see he's taped it together. My money's on construction paper. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 00:28, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

== How the fuck does this relate to the Jackie saga? ==

Really, tell me because I need to laugh at your faggotry. [[User:EricLayla|EricLayla]] 04:57, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:How does it NOT relate to it. I'm willing to wait for more Jackie emails before re-adding the saga icon though. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:53, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

== Is this video edited? ==

The pitch of his voice in some parts does not sound natural. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 07:52, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:I think this has more to do with a hormonal imbalance, considering the fact that Chris is a genetic trainwreck. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 08:07, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

September 2010

2010-10-04T06:06:08Z

BreadGod:

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|Chris will always find a new low.]]
[[File:Creepy_boat.jpg|thumb|Chris on '''25 September 2010''', while sinking Lars' boat.]]

'''September [[2010]]''' has begun in the aftermath of yet another sequence of bizarre behavior by Chris, including an attempt to organize his [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|10-year class reunion]] and the violent destruction of his [[PS3]] in exchange for over $9000.

The month started just a little bit slowly, but things seemed to have picked back up in amazing style come the first half of the month. After proclaiming that [[Haters_gonna_hate.mov|he wouldn't let the trolls bother him]] and he was [[Chris and the internet#Attempts to leave the Internet|taking back control of his life]], he posted up [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|two]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|videos]], both involving a mysterious girl named [[Jackie]], presumably the same one [[Jackie e-mails|who dealt with Chris back in April]].

Aside from his recent dealings with Jackie, unable to handle the lack of [[video games]], Chris used his [[tugboat]] to buy a new PS3.

==Events of September 2010==
*1 September - Chris refuses to reveal the name of his new alleged [[sweetheart]] in a correspondence with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]].
*2 September - Chris purchases a new [[PS3]].
*2 September - The [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]] are released by Clyde Cash, providing insight on the chain of events that led to Chris's well-thought decision to smash the original [[life upgrade]].
*4 September - Bob turns 83, a milestone that many trolls thought was impossible.
*6 September - Chris releases a new video, [[Haters gonna hate.mov]].
*13 September - Two new videos are released. [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|One of them]] is addressed to [[Jackie]], where [[List of Chris's lies|he breaks his previous promise to not reveal her name]], while [[XBox is OK.MOV|the other]] shows Chris renouncing his hatred for the [[Hex Box]].
*16 September - Chris releases [[Song for Jackie.MOV]], where he sings a song about his Love Quest while in blackface.
*19 September - [[Andrew Simmons chat|A chat between Chris and an IRC regular]] dating back to [[2008]] is leaked by Clyde Cash.
*20 September - Chris is revealed to have impersonated [[Samantha Thaddeus]] back in [[2009]], proven by a [[Katie Bay E-mails|series of emails]] leaked by Clyde Cash.
*22 September - E-mails from [[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays]], [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|Vivian Gee]] and [[Clyde E-mails|Clyde Cash]] are leaked, going back as far as 2008.
*22 September - A list of Chris's [[Best Buy]] purchases, a [[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg|bank]] [[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg|statement]] for Vivian and a [[:File:Thank You, Kate.jpg|drawing Chris drew for Kate]] are leaked.
*23 September - Chris is found to have purchased a [[ModNation Racers]] mod on [[eBay]] for $30.
*23 September - In a newly surfaced [[Prank_calls#Call_Bobby_Chandler|prank call]], [[Bob]] claims to know members of the Ku Klux Klan, and even suggests that he was possibly a member himself.
* 25 September - The [[Wallflower E-mails]] are released. It turns out Chris was never in an actual relationship with [[The Wallflower]].
* 25 September - Chris uploads a new video where he [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|sinks Lars' boat]]. The consequences will never be the same.
* 26 September - Chris begins his anti-[[troll]] movement with a [[Anti Troll Movement Video1|video]].
* 27 September - Chris [[New Address|makes a video for Lars]] in which he gloats about having "taken" Jackie from him.
* 30 September - Chris [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|makes another video]] for Lars where he continues talking about boats. He later uploaded the longer version of this video on 2 October.
{{Timeline}}

Talk:100 2265

2010-10-04T05:00:21Z

BreadGod:

I made the page...I'm not even going to attempt to transcribe this BITCH because he only says rabble rabble the whole time...someone with a keen ear would be better at it than me. --[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 21:14, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, the only thing I can really understand is him saying onions, PICKLES, cheese towards the end.--[[User:Straw|Straw]] 21:32, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
::I believe he is supposed to be the Hamburgler and he may be using that old jingle from the 70s about McDonalds. Uh, shit. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:32, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:::K would be great if you could use the previous video articles as a template. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:40, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
Chris tries to look and act like the Hamburglar, but he comes off as creepy as Voldo. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:00, 3 October 2010 (PDT)

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-10-03T20:47:19Z

BreadGod:

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For all other uses please visit [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]''

{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 February, 1982
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| Caucasian
|-
| '''Height'''
| (5'10")/(~1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| estimated at about 300 lbs (136.07 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Welfare leech
|-
|}

{{Quote|"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dante_Alighieri Dante Alighieri's] [http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Divine_Comedy/Inferno/Canto_III ''Inferno'', canto III, verse IX]}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (née '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), also known by his scientific name, ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'', is a [[Chris and Rape|perverse]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|disgusting]], [[Chris and the law|quarrelsome]], [[Death threats|mean-spirited, spiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|stubborn]], [[Chris and religion|heretical]], [[art|completely]] and [[writing|utterly]] [[music|untalented]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]]]]
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]." In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo," and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{-}}
==Overview==

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and March [[2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies.

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely it is to be true.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In 1989, noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the 4th grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school." Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the 6th grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]].

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]]]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.]]
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

{{Quote|"It is certain, that even the most ignorant and stupid peasants, nay infants, nay even brute beasts, improve by experience.|David Hume, [[Love_quest|having never met Chris]]}}

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==

{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7]] unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and [[hair]]-brained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.
{{clear}}

==Chris today==

{{main|2008|2009|2010}}

[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008 trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]] [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]]!]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This appears to be connected to a reduction in his online presence, and the disappearance of his [[medallion]] and his [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]]. Of late Chris has become paranoid and has grown more suspicious of anyone online, imploring everyone to meet him in person if they ''really'' want to get to know him. Of course, Chris has [[List of Chris's Lies|a penchant for lying]], so talking to him in real life is as pointless as talking to him online. Also, his desire to avoid being fooled has not made him any better at doing it, and trolls can be assured that sooner or later he'll fall for some "girl" that asks him to [[BlueSpike|shove stuff up his ass]]. No matter how hard he tries to avoid the trolling, he will always inexplicably find someone to troll him.

Today Chris continues to live with his parents, living off the [[monthly tugboat|money]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. Since he has no job and is usually banned from any place he visits for more than thirty minutes, Chris has few social outlets and has grown increasingly withdrawn. In his desperate need for attention, he repeatedly returns to the trolls, unwittingly proving that the only people who will put up with him are those who just want him to do something stupid for them to laugh at.

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = Part 3 of the series
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC a sad story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Cwcville Show
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rDyg8bxeyTM}}
| Stardate = 23 December 2009
| Maker = BigBlackPony
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]], Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==

{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Talk:100 2261.MOV

2010-10-02T10:56:45Z

BreadGod: /* Chest */

{{Not A Forum}}

Is there an article about all the bullshit chris has said to try to get china? Nothing on the China page. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 14:38, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

Commencing transcription. --[[User:KHLDFS|KHLDFS]] 15:00, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
*Never mind, my power went out just as I was about to save the page. Some one else took care of it.--[[User:KHLDFS|KHLDFS]] 15:49, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

I swear Chris-chan will do anything for china and I mean anything. [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 15:08, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:Example of useless comment. Don't do that. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:06, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

Am I mistaken or does Chris scoff after "even that shocked Michael"? [[User:DirtyCrappedBriefs|DirtyCrappedBriefs]] 16:39, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

I know its not important, but Wes IseIi actually commented on Chris's video, and not surprisingly, he was unpleased with how Chris portrayed him in the comic - [[User:Ashki|Ashki]]
:"I know its not important..." THEN DON'T DO IT and it's not even the real wes i mean come on [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:06, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:In the totally unlikely event that it were the real Wes, and that someone could verify it, it would deserve mention in Wes Iseli's article, like Adam Stackhouse's reaction to Chris is mentioned in his. [[User:DirtyCrappedBriefs|DirtyCrappedBriefs]] 22:48, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:Not Wes, he has his own YouTube account (his is WesleyIseli, the fake one was just named Wesiseli) and he sticks to posting his magic show demonstrations on it. I believe most trolls have contacted him asking his opinions on the manchild, particularly the sarah/wes saga, but he prefers not to get into it. Most likely just some dumbass looking for attention. Let's not give him that attention here. Keep it off.--This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 00:45, 2 October 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

== A couple of things ==

First of all, Chris STILL doesn't know why he was banned from the GAMe PLACe he just brings up the whole "Wii incident" he mentioned in his Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean and he doesn't say why what he did was wrong he almost like defended himself saying that he was helping the other Pokemon League Members get the two Pokemon.

Also, Chris and Jackie aren't in a relationship right? Chris fucked it up and probably realized that Jackie was the only organism in the universe that actually considered of letting Chris fuck her. So is he like trying to show her that he's grown up with the whole Xbox is okay video and this one? —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:PaperbackWriter|PaperbackWriter]] ([[User talk:PaperbackWriter|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/PaperbackWriter|contribs]]) 

:Please take discussions of this nature to one of these other [[Template:Not A Forum|Chris-related discussion locations]]. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:53, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

What do we know about his angry message that he wrote on the cardboard box? I bet it was lulzy. Any back story would really spruce up the article. [[User:DamianAntaria|DamianAntaria]] 19:27, 1 October 2010

:It's the thing about Michael Snyder loves Mary Lee Walsh. Can't link to it because I'm browsing on my cellphone, but it's mentioned in the first batch of Jackie emails, and I think someplace else too. --[[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 18:46, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

::Here is what he said:
{{quotebox|…I later wrote an angry note of "Michael loves the Fiddlesticks out of Mary Lee Walsh"; he took it as an offense, and banned me from "his" property…}}
::Note how Chris put the word “his” in “quotes.” --[[User:Riley_Martin|'''Uhh… this is Riley Martin.''' O-Qua Tangin Wann]] 20:29, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

== Chest ==

Holy cow, he looks really... endowed in this one. - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 03:38, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
:That shirt is all loosened out, but for some strange reason, it's extremely tight around the chest area. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 03:56, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Anti Troll Movement Video1

2010-09-27T22:05:16Z

BreadGod: /* Frustrated */

I'll take a break from transcribing some other BITCH to transcribe this. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 20:11, 26 September 2010 (PDT)
:Good work, now if you'll excuse me for just one second...
{{Not A Forum}}
--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:39, 26 September 2010 (PDT)
== Oh my- ==

Somebody tell that 8-Bit guy from Flipnote Hatena that Chris didn't get the memo on the meaning of the song. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 20:25, 26 September 2010 (PDT)
:This song is older than that even: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAUTXrF5_jQ Note the username. Not sure if it's the original or not but it could partially explain Chris' fascination with the song. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:22, 26 September 2010 (PDT)
::[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIpIAX78gig Song sauce]]. Unfortunately not a Clyde Cash TRUE and ORIGINAL work. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 00:36, 27 September 2010 (PDT)

==Frustrated==

Does anyone else have the urge to smash 9000 light tubes across Chris-Chan's face? [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 20:36, 26 September 2010 (PDT)
:Not really, but that ''was'' the gayest-sounding "Have a nice day" I ever heard since I took a walk down Castro Street. So! Besides the usual "Chris doesn't fucking get it" and "Chris can't sing for shit".. OOh! Cross-refrence to the Coca Cola Cease and Desist from the CWCipedia! Also, dandruff, but we could have made the assumption that he had it, and been correct, at any given time. We just haven't considered it yet. Also; he's had Modnation Racers idling on that TV for some number of videos now.... hopefully, even all the modern anti-screen burn technology can't cope with Chris' ability to fuck things up. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 23:59, 26 September 2010 (PDT)
He's actually quite theatrical when he wants to be. if he applied himself I'd say he could nearly be the lead in a play for profoundly retarded children, instead of being bottom of the best, he could be king of the retards, how much more would his ego be inflated then though, --[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 03:00, 27 September 2010 (PDT)
:You know damn well that Chris doesn't want to be associated with slow-in-the-minds. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:05, 27 September 2010 (PDT)

Anti Troll Movement Video1

2010-09-27T20:15:49Z

BreadGod:

[[File:datface1.png|thumb|200px|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT FACE GOD DAMN]].]]

'''Anti Troll Movement Video1''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 26 [[September 2010]]. He sings the same song about [[trolls]] featured in his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote]] animation [[Don'tGetTrolled!|Don'tGetTrolled]], apparently in hopes of promoting an "Anti-Troll Cyber Bully Movement". Surprisingly, Chris was able to recite the lyrics with a good deal of accuracy, even though he [[Autism|completely missed the original point of the song]].

In the latter half of the video (which, completely contrary to the alleged topic of the video, has nothing to do with anti-trolling), he lists the "sponsors" of his video, including ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', and [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Oil of Olay soap]]. Considering he is wearing the same t-shirt he [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|wore the day before]], his promotion of personal hygiene products is rather ironic. Chris specifying and praising anti-dandruff formula haircare highly suggests that he has dandruff; a safe assumption and an easy bet.

In essence: Chris once again [[Family_guy#Influence_on_Chris| doesn't get the point of the original message]] of [[Parody| what he steals]], nor does he apply [[Cwcipedia#CWCipedia_closed_due_to_A.28I.29DS|previously learned lessons]] and [[Wallflower_E-mails_3|repeats the mistakes of the past]].
{{clear}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Anti Troll Movement Video1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EgZijKM17Kw}}
| stardate = 26 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
| next = Current
| saga =
}}
{{quote|Oil of Olay brand bar soap... Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good|Chris on the benefits of washing}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris turns on the camera and speaks in an odd sing-song rhythm.'']

And now, a very, encouraging, song.

[''He begins singing "[[Don'tGetTrolled!|You've Been trolled]]"'']

Youuuu've beeeen trolled 
You've been trolled 
You have PROB-ly been told 
Don't reply...
[[File:Christler.jpg|thumb|right|Haben Sie einen schönen Tag, mein Führer.]]
[''He turns away and reaches for a crudely-drawn picture of a troll, which he holds up through the song and after.'']

To this guy 
He is just getting a rise 
Out of you 
Yes, it's true 
You respond and that's his cue 
You start trouble on the double 
While he strokes his manly stubble

You've been trolled 
You've been trolled 
You should probably just fold 
When the only winning move is not to plaaaay

Then you keep on trying 
Endlessly replying 
You've been trolled 
You've been trolled 
Havnicedaaay!

[''The singing ends.'']

This video, portraying and projecting the Anti-Troll Cyber Bully Movement...

[''He puts down the troll picture.'']

...has been brought to you by ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' and...

[''He holds up a box of soap.'']

...Oil of Olay brand bar soap, and other things. Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good...

[''Chris [[Homo|drops the soap.]]'']

I just used it to wash my hands! And I use it in the shower! To [[Mass debating|wash myself vigorously!]] I certainly do not use any animals, my own [[Semen|jizz]], or anything else other than Oil of Olay brand bars of soap. And [[Axe]] body wash. And shampoo, and conditioner. Available in anti-dandruff form! But anyway, Oil of Olay. Softer, smoother skin in a week, and makes you very clean. Have a nice day!

[''Chris throws up a [[CWCville|Nazi]] salute and turns off the camera.'']

{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Anti Troll Movement Video1

2010-09-27T05:13:55Z

BreadGod:

[[File:datface1.png|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT FACE GOD DAMN]].]]
'''Anti Troll Movement Video1''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 26 [[September 2010]]. He sings the same song about [[trolls]] featured in his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote]] animation [[Don'tGetTrolled!|Don'tGetTrolled]], apparently in hopes of promoting an "Anti-Troll Cyber Bully Movement". Surprisingly, Chris was able to recite the lyrics with a good deal of accuracy, even though he completely missed the original point of the song.

Afterwards, he lists the "sponsors" of his video, including ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', and [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Oil of Olay soap]]. Considering he is wearing the same t-shirt he [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|wore yesterday]], his promotion of personal hygiene products is rather ironic.

{{clear}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Anti Troll Movement Video1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EgZijKM17Kw}}
| stardate = 26 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
| next = Current
| saga =
}}
{{quote|Oil of Olay brand bar soap... Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good|Chris on the benefits of washing}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris turns on the camera and speaks in an odd sing-song rhythm.'']

And now, a very, encouraging, song.

[''He begins singing to what is apparently the tune of 'Be Our Guest' from "Beauty and the Beast."'']

Youuuu've beeeen trolled 
You've been trolled 
You have PROB-ly been told 
Don't reply...
[[File:Christler.jpg|thumb|right|Have ein nische day, Mein Fürher.]]
[''He turns away and reaches for a crudely-drawn picture of a troll, which he holds up through the song and after.'']

To this guy 
He is just getting a rise 
Out of you 
Yes, it's true 
You responded at his cue 
You start trouble on the double 
While he strokes his manly stubble

You've been trolled 
You've been trolled 
You should probably just fold 
When the only winning move is not to plaaaay

Then you keep on trying 
Endlessly replying 
You've been trolled 
You've been trolled 
Havnicedaaay!

[''The singing ends.'']

This video, portraying and projecting the Anti-Troll Cyber Bully Movement...

[''He puts down the troll picture.'']

...has been brought to you by ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' and...

[''He holds up a box of soap.'']

...Oil of Olay brand bar soap, and other things. Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good...

[''Chris [[Homo|drops the soap.]]'']

I just used it to wash my hands! And I use it in the shower! To [[Mass debating|wash myself vigorously!]] I certainly do not use any animals, my own jizz, or anything else other than Oil of Olay brand bars of soap. And Axe body wash. And shampoo, and conditioner. Available in anti-dandruff form! But anyway, Oil of Olay. Softer, smoother skin in a week, and makes you very clean. Have a nice day!

[''Chris throws up a Nazi salute and turns off the camera.'']

{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Charlottesville Fashion Square

2010-09-26T20:47:11Z

BreadGod: /* Chris captured on video */

[[Image:FashionSquareMallExternal.jpg|thumb|200px|External view of Charlottesville Fashion Square. ]]
[[Image:Fashionsquareretail399 thumb.jpg|thumb|200px|Image from inside the mall. OMG!!! A [[Hex Bawx]] Store!!!]]

'''Charlottesville [[Fashion]] Square''' is one of the original venues for [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] exploits. Like most of his "attraction locations," it hasn't done much for him, and he has twice been forcibly removed from the premises, once for loitering and once for creating a loud disturbance. Nevertheless, it remains one of the fixtures of his existence outside his home, and he frequently encourages his fans or interested people to meet him there.

Fun fact: The mall was also used in the Tom Clancy book ''The Teeth of the Tiger'' as the scene of an Islamic [[terrorist]] act. The only relevance this has with Chris is that he also caused terror there himself to many [[gal pal|YOUNG LADIES]] and [[jerkop|security guards]].

==Chris and the Fashion Square==
It was in this mall where Chris met [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and the [[Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] got its start.

It was here that he had his heart smashed down to 15% by [[Hanna]], and presumably where he (accompanied by [[Bob|his father]]) went on his "date" with [[Emily]], who was later rescued by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]. It's safe to say that, at one point, a large portion of Chris's time spent outside the house was at this mall.

Of course, he only rarely ventures outside these days to [[Father Call|shovel snow]] and do an occasional "[[Sonichu's Edge|parkay]]", so he may not have graced the halls of the Fashion Square with his presence in a while.

Regardless, due to the misadventures Chris had here, this place holds a significant role in Christory. Say "hi" to manager [[ScotPalazzo]] should you ever visit.

==Chris versus the Fashion Square==
Chris has had trouble with the management and security at Fashion Square on a number of occasions over the years.

On 5 August [[2004]], according to [[CWC's Diary]], Chris's attempts to fish for a girlfriend with a [[Red String of Fate]] were cut short by a [[jerkop]] who destroyed that particular Love Quest accessory. A month later, on 6 September, he had another run-in with a security guard who was apparently treated to a rendition of Chris's "Lonesome Virgin story."

11 September 2004 saw Chris's first partial ban from the mall, forbidding him from returning without a parent to accompany him. His diary doesn't explain exactly why he was banned, but [[Sub-Episode 1]] dramatizes the day's events. Reading between the lines of the comic-book version, Chris was loitering and soliciting with his [[Attraction Sign]], became belligerent with security, and was arrested and removed from the mall.

Chris was apparently able to return to the mall unaccompanied by the next spring. On 29 March 2005, the infamous date with Hanna took place, after which Chris emitted an "anguished cry" that led him to be banned from the mall once again. [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] indicates that the ban (which again prevented Chris from going to the mall without a parent) was still in effect towards the end of 2008.

According to the reports of a field agent, Chris has been seen 'sperging at the mall accompanied by his parents in the summer of 2010. Subsequently, on 31 August 2010, he was spotted (and filmed) hanging out at the mall alone. This suggests that either the bans have expired, or Chris has managed to [[Flipnote Hatena|evade yet another ban]].

==Chris captured on video==
On the last day of [[August 2010]], the same cameraman who spotted Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] posted this brief snippet on [[YouTube]], showing Chris slumped in a chair and staring creepily at a young woman at the mall.

Chris's [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Clyde Cash]] reveal that he was sitting around waiting to be rewarded for destroying his [[PS3]].

{{collapsible
|Another rare glimpse of Chris in public.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When you see it
| video = {{#ev:youtube|34ueHWOKMh0}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==Comic references==
===[[Sub-Episode 1]]: "Jerkop-tastropie"===
Dramatization of Chris getting busted by [[jerkop|mall security]] for loitering.

===[[Sub-Episode 2]]: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"===
Dramatization of a [[Hanna|girl who works at a Starbucks]] trolling Chris by taking him out on a date.

==See also==
*[[CWCville Shopping Center]]

==External links==
*[http://www.simon.com/mall/default.aspx?ID=117 Official website]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottesville_Fashion_Square Wikipedia article]

{{Stub}}
{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV

2010-09-25T23:35:45Z

BreadGod: /* Transcript */

'''Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV''' is a video Chris uploaded on 25 [[September 2010]]. Chris addresses the video to someone called "Lars", the ex-boyfriend of one of Chris's [[sweetheart]]s. He then proceeds to re-enact the fate of [[wikipedia:HMS Titanic|HMS Titanic]] using a [[LEGO]] boat, apparently with Lars aboard. The grand finale is Chris destroying the boat and some LEGO characters with his feet.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars' Ship has Sunk
| video = {{#ev:youtube|C3mv4UjTblU}}
| stardate = 25 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}, {{Violence|text}}, {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Song for Jackie.MOV]]
| next = Current
| saga =
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
Good afternoon, this message goes out to an ex of my- dear but ima- but dear beloved sweethearts who go by the name of "Lars". Who had a session with model boats and here is a Titanic-like boat. He is piloting it. Lets see what happens to his boat: "Oh look at me I'm chilling in my Titanic-like boat which was originally for my girlfriend who is now Chris's girlfriend. And today was our anniversary this 25th of September b... OH NO! What's that? A <site pert?>? Aaaah!!" It gets better. You know what? Because here comes the demolition team that finds th- the remains of the sunken ship. BOOM! BOOM! Ha ha ha ha. Oh and here is the captain of the ship, what remains of him anyway. Weak as dirt. The consequences will never be the same. Lars [[I AM STRONG|you are no match for me and my muscles]].

{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Song for Jackie.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Wallflower E-mails 3

2010-09-25T18:13:09Z

BreadGod:

Continued from [[Wallflower E-mails 2]].
{{quoteboxred|Chris,
You need to find someway to delete all of that information about me on your site. And I'm hurt that you didn't ask permission either. I didn't appreciate that. There's only one place that has my real info and that's facebook. And for the last time I am not your sweetheart! I never agreed to be your girlfriend or anyone elses.
Facebook is the only place that knows my real name. and all the other websites I go by <CENSORED>. If someone comes after me, it'll be your fault.
Delete all of that right now. And just for this, we're no longer friends. I'm sorry, but you did this, and it was wrong.
Email me once you've deleted that info, and I'm going to check it. I'm also going to have to change my email thanks to you.}}

{{quotebox|Listen, the "CWCIPEDIA" is my ONE website; not the "CWCki", that belongs to someone else; I will get in touch with the webmaster who created it and try to get it off of there.

I Only referenced you by your Pen Name Once on the Foretaste level I uploaded; NO OTHER TIME, and I have Never referred us as Sweethearts or anything beyond Just Friends. I swear this with hand on my Bible.

I understand I screwed up royally. I also did my best to prevent this by not even stating an inkling of your real name. Why did I have to become such a god damned internet celebrity? I shared my Sonichu stories and art, and for a few years now, I have been Bullied, Tortured, Hacked, and such cruel emotional torment from like thousands to millions of cruel people who took my words and photos and warped them around to their own damned mockery. Even crap they took from me from deceptive methods; pretending to be old friends and "trusting" people online. I had learned long ago to be very careful about most people online and such.

Because of these trolls, I have lost a few friends. They made a page of my old gal pal, Megan Schroeder, on their Encyclopedia Dramatica "Chris_chan" page, I also made the worst mistake of an adult drawing between me and her which was the apex there. She and her family moved to another state, and I lost touch with her long ago. Such a damned mistake I swore never to repeat ever again.

Not only friends, but because of their influence towards the manager, plus an impulse of anger because he would not let me hook up my Wii to his HD TV, I was banned from the Game & Hobby Place June, 2008, and with that I was forced away from the Pok'emon TCG League which I enjoyed going to every Friday.

And as that webmaster states in some exaggeration (some on that damned ED page as well), they tell of the other women I've met online who I lost because of those trolls and my mistakes, as well as the "women" who were trolls themselves. Sarah Jackson, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie and Ivy O'Niel; they were honest women, but they all died between a car accident, the Janurary, 2009 Australia Brushfires, and suicide. And Kacey fell for and married a "Christian Weston Chandler" of Philladelphia who PRETENDED TO BE ME in identity theft on YouTube with a Paper Medallion and a Brown Striped Shirt.

Damn it, they even listed three of my High School gal pals, based from the slideshow from a copy of the "CWC On TV" DVD a troll who pretended to be my Primary/Elementary School crush in her adult years.

I should have never put Sonichu on the internet...How was I to know that it would bring me grief less than a decade later.

I have been in a number of moments of finding peace and losing it later, because these damn trolls won't leave me be. They're mostly immature dumbasses who have no lives of their own. They don't want me to have a life of my own; they don't want me to find long-term peace and happiness for myself. They don't want me to find and hold True Love for myself. Because they are so self-absorbed in themselves that they only want me to give them more stories and art more often; they are nothing but greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted fools.

Heartbreaks and Heartaches... it really hurts...

<CENSORED>, Please, Please, Please do not leave me as my companion. You are the sunlight that lifted me up more than I've been lifted from in the past. I would feel like hardly a shell of my better self; I would be left in a deep in the darkness state of loneliness and despair. Even worse...I'd probably hire a prostitute out of desperation...that is a fate I do not want to ever feel.

Please don't leave me, <CENSORED>. As a friend, and from my heart, I Love You.

Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|Look, I never agreed we were together in a relationship in the first place. I told you I wasn't into having boyfriends. My writing is more important to me right now. I am no one's sweetheart.
And besides, how the hell did they find out all of my usernames that actually linked back to me? I don't remember putting my whole name in those websites. And another thing, ask me if you can put my Penname onto your website. I don't want anyone stealing it. You know how I feel about my gilrl, <CENSORED>.
I don't love you and I hate you for this. Everything was fine until I met you. I don't know why I took up mom's offer to go the social club. I had enough friends here at home and on the internet.}}

{{quotebox|I pray you are feeling better from the recent chaos; I still have lingering heartaches from the "I hate you" and such from that message.

I know it's not much, but apparently your e-mail account remained safe. I am looking into it further, but I do know it was this Tito
dude/troll who found you out, and likely was the one who started that page on the CWCki (it's wikipedia style; anyone can create a page on that damn website). Tito was the one who sent me the e-mail that early morning. I found it after hand-writing and enveloping the letter you may have received Saturday, or will receive in a day or two; that letter was before that matter. And Tito was also the same dude who left you a review leading you to that CWCki page on your <CENSORED> page; he has admitted it in an e-mail he sent me recently. I will be forwarding the two mentioned messages to you shortly.

If you ever come into contact with Tito, or meet him in real life, Do Not Trust Him. I still care for you and your safety and health. Please let me know over the phone or e-mail when you've recovered and we can move forward from this. I do not want to lose our friendship between you and me. (and "Hate" is such a strong word)

Stay Safe. Love and Peace,
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|Okay, now I'm getting pissed off. First off, stop sending this, I don't want to be reminded of it, second, I told you I'm not your friend anymore, and thirdly, I have a boyfriend now, so back off and leave me alone.}}

{{quotebox|From: Tito Surfshack <surfshacktito@yahoo.com>
To: chrischansonichu@aol.com
Sent: Sun, Mar 14, 2010 2:14 am
Subject: I'VE THOUGHT I EXPLAINED IT LITTLE CUZ (YES)

Ok, man, I'll man up. Yeah, I made it, so what? I was jealous of your beautiful Stephen King lady. But now she hates you and I'm getting with her. Aww yeah. What're you going to do about it little cuz?

And it's not just <CENSORED>. I mean, you drove <CENSORED> away by giving me her name, she's a lost cause, brudda. But what about the other girls? Any girl you'll ever try for thinks you're a loser. You're just some guy who lives with his parents. You used to be the famous creator of sonichu who did all those cool videos and comics, but now you're just some lazy fatass.

Your fans have left you. It's almost too late to get them back. <CENSORED>'s mine. But this is bigger than <CENSORED>, this is every girl you'll ever see.

Think you can turn your public image around? HA, I'd like to see you try.

AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY:

"When your itching for the waves, The only lotion, is the ocean."}}

{{quotebox|Don't you GET IT, TITO, the guy you're seeing now, CREATED THAT PAGE on the CWCki, AND he had the balls to let you know in a "Review".

I have been heartaching over this the past days, and I've had sleepless nights over it. For the love of God and Jesus, don't leave me, Please!

Also, I was going to surprise you on St. Patrick's Day, but I feel it appropriate for the sake of protecting you, that I put on my Kilt in your honor against this Hawaiian Troll.

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taiBe4ct_So</nowiki>}}

{{quoteboxred|How the fuck would you know? I haven't said any names. Anyway, its none of your business, and he's not Hawaiian either. Do me a huge favor, and stay away from me. And stop calling my phone. I don't care. Leave me the fuck alone!!!!!!}}

{{quoteboxred|You son of a bitch! Leave me and Tito alone! I don't want you to ever to call my cell or house phone again! I want you out of my fucking life and leave me the hell alone! Or I'm going to have to unfortunately drag my parents into this, and you don't want that.

LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU AGAIN, EVER! AND TAKE MY EMAIL OFF YOUR GODDAMN WEBSITE!!!}}

{{quotebox|I fully understand that I probably should not be talking to you now, but you have to understand; you mean a LOT to me. My heart has been hurting since Last Wednesday, and my smiles are rare now. I constantly think of you, and I am very concerned with you going out with this Tito. I HAVE told you that HE IS A TROLL. I forwarded you his confession message. He ONLY WANTS YOU out of JEALOUSY OF ME AND MY LIFE. He does NOT care for you at all; he considers you a "Trophy Girlfriend", and he will never see you as anything other than that. I have been seeing you as a human woman with a charming, sweet personality, untainted by any muscle-headed individuals who only care about themselves. Please, at least, look at him, and ask yourself, "Does Tito REALLY, TRULY care about me as a person, or am I just an Object to him?"

Also, I will be sending you an invitation soon for the party.

Also, please extend my friendly regards to your mom, dad and Maggie and Rachel.

Does Tito really care about you?

Stay Safe, Sweetie.
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|As if I care what you think. I'm only telling you that I have a boyfriend to get you off my back. By the way. you owe mom an apology for waking her up at 7:30 in the morning!!! Thinking it was me and not her. That was very rude of you. Don't call my house again. It also upsetted my dad. And, I know how desperate you are (which makes me sick) to get into contact with me. But I ask you not to call my work and ask for me. I've already asked one of the ladies up front not to accept any calls from you asking for me. I'm not getting my job jepordize because of you.
And, you can't tell me who to date either. That's my choice and mine alone. You have no business in my personal life. And you don't mean anything to me. Stay away from me. This better be the last email.
I don't know how clear I have to get through to your head, to once again, leave me alone, PLEASE!!!}}

{{quotebox|I have never called your house. I have never called you at your job. The only phone number I called you at was your cell phone, and the last time I called your cell was about last Sunday. I swear on my Bible I have never personally called your house or your job. Someone else is calling y'all, pretending to be me.}}

{{quoteboxred|Fine (not like I belive you), but just please leave me alone from now on. I don't want to talk to you again. Do you hear me? }}

{{quotebox|Due to an unexpected trip, the party is being postponed to the following Saturday from stated on the invitation.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|LMAO, Sorry, I won't be able to make it. Besides, I wouldn't go, if you were going to be there. And I'm not going to the thing next week. Because I don't want to do deal with you. BTW. that letter, don't do that again, ever. I wasn't even impressed with your little gift. I threw it away. Not only that, I was pissed when you said that we had been going out for a month and a half. First of all, I never agreed anything of the sort, second, I would never date you. You're not my type.
Also, if you want me to 'stay safe', then you would leave me alone, from phone, email, and mail. I don't want to hear from you ever again, do you hear me?
And, who cares if you're a fucking acoustic virgin? I'd rather have my best friend's boyfriend take me first (because I trust him). then you. Besides, I'm asexual, so there's no hope for you, at least from me. Not only that, not even a cheap whore would want your small dick inside her, neither would I.}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Talk:Wallflower E-mails 3

2010-09-25T08:15:58Z

BreadGod:

The end. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:51, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

"...not even a cheap whore would want your small dick inside her, neither would I."

OH SNAP! --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:15, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

Muscle bra

2010-09-24T20:37:16Z

BreadGod: /* Chris and bras */

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin.|Chris in [[#the bra e-mail|the bra e-mail]]}}

[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|Happy Chris in a muscle bra and with [[PS3|life upgrade]]]]
[[Image:Cwcbraorig.JPG|thumb|Unhappy Chris in a classic (read: his [[Barb|mom]]'s) bra]]
'''Muscle bra''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for the [[Wikipedia:sports bra|sports bra]] that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] is wearing on his [[obesity|manboobs]].

The muscle bra, also known as '''the Muscle Bra of Fail''', first appeared in [[October 2009]] in the leaked e-mail accompanied by photos. His usually bouncy moobs soon became less noticeable in subsequent videos.

Later the same month, Chris appealed to others to wear a muscle bra too:

{{quote|I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a muscle bra. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.|Chris exhibiting his bizarre method of "not getting it" in [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]}}
==Chris and bras==
[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|Chris after converting his bra into a wearable [[attraction sign]]]]
[[File:Wantwoman.png|thumb|right|Artist's depiction]]

Chris seems to find the sight of bare male chests extremely unappealing and even offensive. In the [[April 2010]] video message [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Men Should NEVER be Topless]] he strongly insisted all men should wear bras and said he would actually make it a [[law]]. It is likely he makes this claim in a shallow attempt to appear straighter than [[straight]].

Despite saying that other men's chests are ugly, he has [[Chris and hypocrisy|no problem]] depicting [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|himself]] [[:File:CWCFlex.jpg|shirtless]], ''without'' the bra, as in his ideal self-image his manboobs are non-existent and thus need no such support.

In the real world, though, Chris presumably finds his muscle bra to be a necessity, given his [[Chris and health|unusually large breasts]]. Due to his [[Chris and art|inability]] to differentiate differences in the anatomy of other human beings, Chris may see it as necessary for other males to cover up as well - or, more likely, he simply wants to rationalize the fact that he needs one because of his big breasts by encouraging people who do not need one to wear one as well, thus hiding the actual reason for him wearing his fashionable sports bra.

Chris clearly liked wearing a muscle bra so much that the same month [[For_J-R's_Eyes_Only.MOV|he gave us a better look in a video]]. One might assume that the clean white bra here is a different one from the pale gray one in the photos, implying that Chris has bought multiple bras. Given that things never get cleaner in the Chandler household, only filthier, this seems a safe assumption to make. We already know from the below email that Chris bought one set of sports bras in a three-pack, and due to his notorious cheapness we have no reason to think he did not do the same with the second set of bras. This suggests Chris has at least six bras. Chris also reveals in the video in question that he wears bras with a band size of 42. His cup size is unknown at this time.

In [[June 2010]] Chris went to [[Fridays After Five]], where he continued to carry out his campaign against exposed manboobs among the general public by wearing his muscle bra to the event. It seems that Chris has also found another use for muscle bras, demonstrated by vandalizing his bra with a marker pen and converting it into an [[attraction sign]]. Whereas most normal people would perhaps draw on a T-shirt to make their point, Chris has devised a seemingly superior method of [[Love Quest|making his]]. That's right: for a woman to have read his statement of intent to engage in a romantic and sexual relationship with her, she'd have to have stared at one of the more disturbing outward pieces of evidence that he ''just doesn't understand how those relationships work'', which may or may not be a poetic microcosm of his entire fucking life since puberty.

Chris may have actually had a fetish for wearing women's underwear longer than we think. Likely, the fetish began when Blanca made him dress in his mother's undergarments. For a period, he seems to have struggled with his urges — one image, drawn around the Ivy Saga, inexplicably shows Punchy Sonichu wearing a bra — and since he did not buy his sports bra until later in the year, we can only conclude that he was wrestling with his desire to steal his mother's underwear to support his manboobs.
{{clear}}

==The bra e-mail==
The following e-mail was leaked in October 2009, along with a series of illustrative photos. The identity of the recipient has never been publicly revealed.

<blockquote>
(omitted stuff)...

[[Stress]] causes Memory Loss sometimes. At least I undid the hacker who got into my [[YouTube]]. 

Also, I did my shopping today; I haven't been able to draw or color today yet, but I will set some time tonight. I got my copy of [[Guitar Hero|G.H.5]], my new 3-in-one-printer, and I found the sports bras at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]]; 3-packs for $10 a pack. In leiu of going into the fitting room, I asked the nearby female employee to measure my bust size; I'm a 43. So I got a 3-set of 42; I've been wearing one for try... It is sooo comfortable, and my manboobs do not bounce as easily; I jumped a few times to see. OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin. It's like a [[sex toys|Guitly Pleasure]] or something. 

Anyway, I got my exercise in today. I also went to [[McDonald's|McD]], Toys 'R' Us, Sheetz, Food Lion and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] for applications; NO PAPER APPLICATIONS! OMG, it really ground my gears to realize that. Although at Target, I was not totally surprised; I went straight to their computer station and filled in their application online. But EVERYONE IS LIKE GOING DIGITAL WITH NO PAPER TRAIL; It Sucks! This is even WORSE Than that CRAPPY PowerWeb at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]. 

Yes, you have read correctly, I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT DAMN, [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris on PowerWeb ("Why PowerWeb STINKS on Ice")|STUPID POWERWEB!]]<ref><s>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys#Mary_Lee_Walsh</s> Chris seems to hate the PowerWeb because it's a pet project of [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and he was too dumb to understand how to use it.</ref> Even in it's pre-released Over Advertising, which was TOTALLY UNECCESSARY. Every time I was FORCED into using that Damn System, I was always reluctant, and I had to use my Student ID No., which I HAD NEVER CARED TO MEMORIZE; I only glanced at a few numbers at a time upon entry, and "In One Ear And Out The Other" with that soiled piece of what would have been valuable information. You said I was the first person you met to Hate Kenneth; well, I'm probably the first person you met who Always Loathed the PowerWeb since its PreBirth. 

<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

But I digress... and this bra feels sooo good.

Something else, I'll forward you an e-mail I sent to [[Kacey]] last night after our conversation to best start another concern of mine. 

I'll TTYL, 
Stay Safe, 
Chris.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
===E-mail images===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-little-teapot.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-creepy-stare.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-with-crossed-arm.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Animated gifs===
<center><gallery>
Image:127193894817.gif
Image:127193932971.gif
Image:127193992465.gif
Image:127193999352.gif
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Gaybian]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5645734 Chris's bras at Wal-Mart]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

File talk:Thank You, Kate.jpg

2010-09-23T22:40:16Z

BreadGod: Created page with "I wonder when this was made. --~~~~"

I wonder when this was made. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:40, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

Medallions

2010-09-23T04:48:55Z

BreadGod: /* The Jiggliami Medallion */

[[Image:License.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Oh yes he fucking did]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|150px|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion]]

{{quote|Watch out for the medallion!|[[Niggo|Ludacris]]}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he wears a hand-made '''Sonichu medallion''' on his neck. In public. The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|Ernie shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[electric hedgehog]] characters. He also calls them "medals". (even though they're made from [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|Crayola Fucking model magic!!!]]

==Origins and purpose==

[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|150px|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 Feb 2004, Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the Medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the Medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some Crayola Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my Mall). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish[sic] individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE[sic] MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie[sic]-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an S-Chu Ball. }}

[[Image:Aragorn.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Throughout the ages, many have been tempted by the allure of the Medallion, with its power of giving its possessor delusions of grandeur, being Internet famous, and [[fail]] art skills, not to mention [[Anchuent Prophecy|the power]] to turn the user [[Wes-Li Sonichu|into]] [[Saramah Rosechu|a]] [[Chris-chan Sonichu|furry]]]]

Despite being allegedly created in March 2000, the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his 22nd birthday, on 24 [[February 2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl]] video (20 December 2004) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble 6|Mumble chat]] on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is...because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him. In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning[sic] Autistic]] individual that he is".<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465 Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[Cwcville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

[[File:Soniccomicmedallion.png|thumb|Chris can't come up with any original ideas.]] One recent theory as to the origin of the medallion idea comes from the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' comic series (Issue #70) in which a character is depicted wearing a Sonic medallion. This theory is supported by the fact the issue came out in February 1999, one year before Chris claims the Sonichu medallion was created.

Each medallion is constructed from Crayola Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a Wilson wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links unbearable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied Shrinky-Dink charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The Sonichu Medallion==

[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris even wore it at his god damn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Before Blanca, it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]]]]

Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his electric hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

In several videos, Chris says that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing homosexuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them.

 

===Prototype===
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail, [[Autism papers]]<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM:]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|150px|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]
[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]
It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in 2004. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, Sonichu, Rosechu, and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May 2004, when he brought it with him to the Anime Mid-Atlantic convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].

 

===Mark 1 (and decoy)===
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Spoiler: he even wears it during his sex fantasies]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear a new medallion with a better paint job. This one can be identified by the tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face, which are less pronounced than in the prototype and later models. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the 2005 Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. 4chan and ED are filled with high-functioning autistics who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks," without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]] an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, Anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He further denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October 2008 when the team of trolls posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and its fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to YouTube. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at Miskatonic University. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

<center>{{#ev:youtube|O-TP2wCucZo}}</center>

 

===Mark 2===
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|150px|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in his mother's underwear at the request of trolls posing as Blanca. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 March 2009 [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his rectum. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive Max or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but in any case, the remnants of the medallion were assuredly covered in [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|fecal matter]]. Whatever happened, Chris thinks that his father would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

===Mark 3===
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|150px|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''the Blair Witch Project,'' but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 March 2009 incident and his 1 July 2009 videos. During this period he argued that his high school ring may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 April 2009 of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

CWC enthusiasts can look forward to Chris voluntarily surrendering the medallion to thieves and/or willingly shoving it up his rectum in the near future.

 

==The Rosechu Medallion==
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|150px|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008. It currently resides with the founder of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

The medallion was first known to the internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

==The Black Sonichu Medallion==
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris appears to use the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side. The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a video aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become Reldnahc Ha-Taque.

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October 2008.
{{Clear}}

==The Jiggliami Medallion==
[[Image:Jiggliamimedallion.jpg|150px|thumb|On the back, it reads "Medallion crafted by Christian Weston Chandler."]]

Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7]] and [[Sonichu 8|8]]. It is currently locked away in a Government warehouse somewhere in California.
<gallery>
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|Scanned image of the front of the Jiggliami Medallion.
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|Back of the Jiggliami Medallion. The signature by Chris has faded with time.
</gallery>
It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.

==The [[Asperchu]] Medallion (A.K.A. The Medallion of Win?)==
[[Image:Asperchumedal.jpg|200px|thumb|left|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion is confirmed to be one of Asperchu. Apparently, it was crafted by Alec Benson Leary and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall.

==Gone forever?==
As can be seen in his recent videos in [[2010]], Chris is no longer wearing his medallions. The last time the medallion was seen was when he said he was leaving the internet for the second time. Also gone are the clown shirts. Disposing of these elements may be Christian attempting to be perceived as a normal person. The medallion made a return on September 6th, as Chris is seen wearing it once again in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. All is right with the world again.
{{clear}}

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], which Chris claims as the source of his power after losing his medallions. Still resides with Chris for the time being.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

2010

2010-09-20T01:41:46Z

BreadGod: /* July */

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in [[2010]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2010, Chris turned 28.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On '''17 January''', Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]]'']]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update ''[[Sonichu 10]]'', revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On '''25 February''', Chris murders Evan in a totally disgusting way]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|a series of phone calls]] from ''Asperchu'' creator Alec Benson Leary, demanding Chris to promise to show better tolerance towards Asperchu and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding CWCipedia hostage. Though, very slowly, Chris recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu 10'', which showed the death of Simonla, only for Chris to turn around and "kill" Alec, Mao and two other people in an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 March''', Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that inadvertently reveals the identity of [[The Wallflower]]]]

As March began, trolls showed concern over news that Chris's father, [[Bob]], had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Sadly, Chris showed no concern whatsoever, angering his [[fanbase]]. A few days later, Chris would, through his massive [[ego|narcissism]], reveal a name of his potential new [[sweetheart]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBA]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover [[The Wallflower|her identity]], and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris and Chris himself discovering the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the [[lulz]]. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene with Chris and force him to once again announce he leaves the Internet forever. (36 hours later after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe]], discovering that Chris was back to his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On '''May 26''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the CWCipedia to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On '''30 June''', Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]]]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris traveled to The GAMe PLACe with an autistic plan of revenge against Michael Snyder: long story short, Chris almost commits a [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and he's let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made a video addressing these events and announced that he's leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Chris front then fell silent for nearly two weeks, until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his Love Quest offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared off to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 July''', Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]]]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from Flipnote Hatena for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancients ways of the attraction sign. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at Fridays After Five. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's [[lie|working on the comic pages]]. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On '''August 29''', the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[Hex Bawx]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, a phonecall to Bob Chandler was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one concerning his upcoming high school reunion, and the other where Chris concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3, claiming [[fail|he did himself in]]. Two days later, he destroyed his [[PS3]], and to put it mildly, there was much rejoice.

==September==

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On '''September 13''', Chris dresses as a [[niggo]]]]

{{main|September 2010}}

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the life upgrade. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. Chris also has a [[Jackie|new sweetheart]] in his life, who he tries to impress through some new videos.

==November==

Chris's [[high school]] reunion will take place on November 8.

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

File talk:100 0834.JPG

2010-09-20T01:00:22Z

BreadGod: Created page with "I wonder why Chris decided to destroy CWCville. --~~~~"

I wonder why Chris decided to destroy CWCville. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 18:00, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

Chris and death

2010-09-15T22:07:21Z

BreadGod: /* Chris himself */

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
'''Death''' stalks [[Chris]] at every turn, and as a result he has a hard time understanding and/or coping with death, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and his incredibly underdeveloped mind. Kids often don't understand death until they're quite old, around 10-12 years; before that, they usually just think it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a 3-year-old inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to sort of understand death; he even has a habit of appealing to dead people to "come back."<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands Or Buts#A history (6:02 to 9:34)]]: "Patti, I miss you. Come home."</ref><ref>[[:Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg]]: "Dedicated to Mr. Billy Mays II; Please Come Back Soon."</ref>

It could be that the only shows that Chris watched that dealt with death in any way had plot devices to facilitate the return of the departed. Chris, who is unable to connect cause with effect and considers behaviors from fiction to be interchangeable with reality, may simply assume that the dead can come back whenever they want.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (19XX-2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of the first of [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the Twin Towers. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. This has shocked many, including somebody who lost a loved one in the attacks<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCDjrjr3b7M]</ref> and this could possibly be the lowest that Chris has ever gone.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:AZT-13/Chris-chan_Emails_Part_IV apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face] on the signature confirming the euthanasia process. As seen in the image used in this article, [[Patti-Chan|Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as an anthro]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in, in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]], in which she will only exist when he can be bothered to draw her. Effectively, he's stolen and erased her soul.

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended, yet he continues to use this example.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. Supporting this is a report that Chris periodically broke down in tears for as many as six months after her death.{{cite}} By comparison, the "death" of any [[Troll|Sweetheart]] will result in a day of mourning if they are lucky.

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this. About eight months later, Chris [[Chris's Big Night Out|became a huge hypocrite]]...

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former [[Sweetheart|heartsweet]] of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a <s>car crash</s> carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. SPOILERS: A [[troll]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the Sonichu characters mourn the loss of their professor. Sound like [[Chris|someone]]?

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|Chris, of course, reacted to this in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide.]]

===[[PandaHalo]]===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another [[sweetheart]] to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref> This flagrant disrespect shouldn't surprise anyone because Chris is a self-centered asshole. This saga ''further'' proved that Chris has no sense of empathy or respect for the dead.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her. Apparently, Chris didn't feel like he needed to honor the life of his beloved [[sweetheart]] and instead depicted her horrible, fiery death. He also has to mention that she "burned," which shows how he doesn't realize how painful and awful it would be to die in a fire. It's also not a term that anyone would use to describe the death of a loved one, providing more evidence of how little he actually cared about her. Because it took nine months to "honor" her death, he most likely decided he needed more god-awful characters for his shitty comic, was too lazy to create a new recolor and chose to use Chloe and BlazeBob, thus reminding him of PandaHalo, who he had likely forgotten, and made him decide to feature a memorial to her.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork. And then there's the issue of Sonichu 10 largely consisting of Chris murdering everybody he dislikes...

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May [[Troll|attempted suicide]] over [[Mumble_8|Mumble]]. Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out to her on a YouTube video]], with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. His reason for her to hold on? Because he'd be so sad without her. While mentioning the feelings of friends and families despair is typical in suicide prevention, Chris did it in such a selfish way, only thinking of how ''he'd'' feel, not how ''her'' family and friends would feel, that it was just full of [[fail]] and [[Chris and His Ego|narcissism]].

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also Shrove Tuesday, a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes.<ref>[[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]]</ref> Needless to say, [[White knight#Chris cares only for himself|Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt]]. Patti was also obtained from her (see the e-mail link above).

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow, although any normal human would bring those up first and the dog would be lucky to get a mention at all.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-<s>2009</s>)===
In early 2009, Christian once seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, but cast a slight bit of doubt over the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case. He's back.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for Mays's death, and loudly denies that he was ever the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to Mays' family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that Mays was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris. He goes even further by stating that he was also his identical body double and "without the beard we'd look the same". At least he's admitting that he's overweight.

In [[Sonichu 9]], Chris slaps in a one-page intro with Billy saying that he was never was the mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon". Ninety pages later, we find out that Billy had seemed to die falling down an elevator shaft, attempting to free Ivy from HER gruesome death. The next issue, however, had him appear alive and well, trapped like [[Patti-Chan|Patti Chan]] in his own personal Hell of CWCville.

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Former [[troll|sweetheart]] Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Unless the original was somehow Ivy's favorite song, this is just short of "Another One Bites the Dust" as one of the worst possible songs one can dedicate to a recently deceased loved one. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's [[fail]].

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] of the comic. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of Slaweel and some weird faux-Transformers actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. Why he felt the need to make her death in the series gruesomely similar to her real-life suicide is a question for the ages. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for [[Patti Chan]] and [[BILLY MAYS]].

==="Mary Jo"===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss| recent mailbag]], Chris was asked by a troubled [[troll|fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.| Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another [[sweetheart|woman]] right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|asking]] [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|for]] [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"|advice]], and then [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|begging]] for [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|help]] after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

The Mike Jackson "mini-saga" might be the most conclusive proof yet that Chris doesn't understand the consequences of his terrible advice, or the gravity of the tragedy he caused.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his [[Patti Chandler|fucking dog]]. Finally, after being faced with severe legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in [[Sonichu 10]], though not before she laid an egg with her husband Wild (though, of course, their wedding and the act of laying the egg were never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real. Not figuratively, not essentially: ''literally'' real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===Yeardley Love (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for UVA who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for smoking. Later in the video, [[Chris and His Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's [[Chris and anger|not]] [[Chris and race|a]] [[Chris and sex|bad]] [[Chris and rape|man]]. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew or really cared about in order to make himself look good.

===[[Bob|Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]===
[[File:Ctrl-alt-chrischan.jpg|thumb|He remembered his [[PSP]].]]
Coming soon... both are well into their "Silver Years" and suffering from many health issues, compounded by their age. It doesn't help that they're [[Tour of Chris's House|living in a landfill]].

On 01 [[March 2010]], Bob was sent to the hospital with congestive heart failure, owing to his age, [[McDonald's|diet]] and lifestyle. In the Twitter announcing Bob's heart failure, Chris stated that he believed his father would survive and showed more concern for the [[stress]] he was under than his own father's health. On top of that, during the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], Bob stated that he already died (probably for a minute or two and then was brought back, or his heart had to be stopped during surgery). Bob has had four prior heart attacks and "Eat at Burger King" is still a part of his daily routine. His inevitable death (and probably one more heart attack) is likely to occur sometime within the next few years.

===Chris himself===
Given Chris's terrible diet, poor [[health]], [[obesity]], lack of exercise and general lack of concern for anything, he is unlikely to live far into his forties. However, he may be genetically disposed to live a long — albeit, [[100 2178|miserable]] — life: [[Bob]] has lived into his eighties despite being a heavy drinker, and other male relatives have lived past 90 (the average American man dies at 75 or 76).

Naturally, the death of Chris himself is the only death that immediately concerns Chris. And unsurprisingly, he is only worried about his death because it would put a stop to the Love Quest once and for all. Chris's fear of death is probably an extension of his fear of [[F Abstinance|reaching old age before getting laid]], as opposed to the fear of death exhibited by normal people. Chris also apparently has a recurring nightmare where he finds himself "going into the light". It is unknown when he began to have this nightmare, but it is likely one of the "bad dreams" Chris claimed that Ivy helped stop. It has probably been going on for years and will most likely continue until the day it comes true.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Chris and mental healthcare

2010-09-13T18:33:17Z

BreadGod: /* Rocky Shoemaker */

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist at grade school while his screams were recorded (most likely over dramatic bullshit), and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris currently refuses to see a psychologist, opting to see a [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] instead.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia, and a victim of [[Noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the trolls". (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22_(logic)|Catch 22]].)

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A Cornell University [http://gagne.homedns.org/~tgagne/contrib/unskilled.html psychology journal] details this phenomenon; it is a disturbingly accurate account of Chris's reaction to [[reality]].

===The 2004 survey===
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at [[PVCC]] in 2004 echoed the diagnosis of autism that Chris received some time in his youth, and took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend," although he did not go so far as to hand down a diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder. He also administered a [[Wikipedia:Folstein test|Folstein test]], a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment — Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|Global Assessment of Functioning]], the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway in between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

===The trolls' perspective===
The rest of the human race believes that Chris has ''way'' more than autism to worry about. Popular theories mark him as a sociopath and/or a pathological [[ego|narcissist]], for instance, and also point towards what seems like a paranoid streak (as when Chris proposed that the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] school board has [[100 2178|conspired over a period of decades]] to make him miserable). Since the only available view is from a distance, though, there's no way anyone can know for certain if Chris's brain is garlanded with healthy chunks of the DSM-IV-TR or if he's merely a gullible idiot with a terrible upbringing and worse personality (and autism).

Until Chris gets some sustained professional attention, most of the speculation about his issues remains exactly that. Which leads to a larger problem...

==Professional help?==
One of the most [[Rage|frustrating]] elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. It seems that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] think that the world of mental health hasn't evolved past the turn-of-the-century treatment of strait jackets and lobotomies. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever been in was a compulsory Anger Management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listens to is [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claims that he has no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems. He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag 2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag 4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It would be likely that he could seek the help of a professional for little or no cost, as his [[monthly tugboat]] in the form of SSI does offer basic psychological services that would allow him the ability to to talk to a board-certified counselor and get the help he does need. It's likely though he doesn't even know this service is available, as he only regards his SSI check as income or a cheap means of getting [[PS3]] games, [[LittleBigPlanet]] or [[Guitar Hero]] DLC, and [[sex toys]] rather than a reassurance that he is covered under federal Medicaid or the equivalent state Medicaid program offered by the Commonwealth of Virginia.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or used to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered Noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Chris refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs any, and because he has better things ([[PS3|games]], [[anime]], [[Kimmi|porn]]) to spend his money on. Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are, regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a 13-year-old]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things, regardless of how any mental health worker worth his salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of [[fail]], Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling other people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely some time in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late 1980s, the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common. More recently, however, Imipramine has commonly been prescribed to patients who have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|urinary problems]].

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his [[stress]] and [[Chris and anger|anger issues]]. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward.

Chris continues to take antidepressant medication to this day, but he is no longer on Paxil specifically. In [[Mailbag 13]], he explained that he switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects. He didn't specify what those side effects were or what medication he's now taking; only that the Paxil caused problems that "only hit adults". Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]].

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and sedentary lifestyle.

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh's experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems makes her experienced on the issue. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===[[Autism papers|Psychiatric Papers]]===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary-school years or some time after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|ordered]] to take anger management classes. The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional... and... well... [[Chris_and_anger|he still can't control his anger]]. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris' that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===[[Rocky Shoemaker]]===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she is probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considers her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He barely listens to anything she fucking says.
#He misconstrues everything she says, accepting advice he likes and ignoring advice he doesn't like.
She has told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remains as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she has put a stop to trolling plans, [[Fridays After Five|his behavior remains the same]]. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls.

[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?

About the only thing that he has taken away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a more recent [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris feels he has found some form of real life [[Dating_education|date ed]]. More likely, Chris has come upon a class for couples who want to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to find out how to get into one. The true nature of the course is irrelevant since Chris is creepy and out of place pretty much anywhere he goes.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has no common sense. Likewise, common sense being... common, [[white knights]] and [[trolls]] are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. He doesn't fucking get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering [[Autism|why exactly he doesn't get it]]. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to, no matter what level they are on the ladder. [[Vivian Gee|Some white knights]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they've essentially moved on to becoming professional trolls.

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Autism papers]]
*[[Asperger's syndrome]]
*[[Dreams]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Mailbag 62

2010-09-12T22:26:48Z

BreadGod: Undo revision 113291 by Clydec (talk)

'''Mailbag 62''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 12 [[April 2010]]. It is the sparsest Mailbag to date, containing only one letter. This may be to see if Chris has the energy to answer a single sodding question. (SPOILER ALERT: He doesn't.) Also, it was the last Mailbag ever uploaded.

This Mailbag, despite having only one question, remained unanswered before the death of the CWCipedia in [[May 2010]], proving that Chris is just a lazy piece of shit that isn't getting flushed down the toilet.

==Not getting answered ever==

===End of an era===

{{Email|From: Phil <phil1988@gmail.com>
Hi Chris, long time fan here. I have 2 questions.

1. You seem to really be after sexual intercourse more than a girlfriend. Is this true? If so, what are your life plans after you do lose your virginity?
2. Have you considered buying a Fleshlight? They apparently feel just like real sex.

...okay 3 questions.}}

{{Mailbag}}

File talk:ModNation GalPal.jpg

2010-09-12T18:14:26Z

BreadGod: Created page with "Why does she look like Megan? --~~~~"

Why does she look like Megan? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 11:14, 12 September 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:General

2010-09-12T02:24:14Z

BreadGod: /* Declaration of War between the Swastika Legion and CWCki. */

4 September 2009

2010-09-11T16:36:09Z

BreadGod:

"'''4 September 2009'''" (officially "'''09042009'''") is a video that was made after [[Vivian]] sent a gift to [[Bob]] for his birthday. [[Ego|Mistaking]] the gift as an attempt to get on his good side; [[Chris]], ever the gentleman, thanks the kind lady by showing his displeasure at Vivian wanting to put the [[audiobooks]] on DVD and sell them, demanding that she remove all the videos and shut down her account before she can regain his respect again.

==Video==

{{quote|Vivian, if you REALLY want to Earn My Trust, you DELETE ALL YOUR VIDEOS, then Close Your YouTube Account, and NEVER REUPLOAD THOSE VIDEOS EVER AGAIN!}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 4 September 2009
| image = {{#ev:youtube|BoShspztoqs}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 4 September 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Shirt = {{BlueThinStriped|text}}
| previous = [[30_August_2009| 30 August 2009]]
| next = [[Sign_Destruction_Video| Sign Destruction Video]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate: [[September 2009|September 4th, 2009]].

Uh, couple-of, uh- yeah, couple of issues. Firstly I wish to, uh... [''removes his [[glasses]]''] extend my [[father]]'s gratitude for the present. Apparently you ordered for him... and uh, delivered to us Miss [[Vivian]], so [''mumbles''] thank you for that.

Still, it does not excuse you for what you have done to me, you have s-made a mockery out of me. You ma- you behind my back made the stupid [[audiobooks]], and you ar-and you ar-and you are a troll- other [[trolls]] matter of a fact, hey- [''Chris grabs the [[Clown Doll]]''] -remember this clown? [[Clyde Cash]]! Clyde Cash is Vivian's cousin or was since the bastard is dead. And we-and we all know what he did to me. That son of a bitch. But anyway, Vivian is just about as deep as he is because she's- she is no different- 'cos she among those trolls slandered and mocked my good name. Especially in what in her videos that she did against me. [''[[sigh]]s''] So you know what? Equivalent to Clyde Fash, equivalent to Vivian Gee.

[''Holds up clown doll and launches it at [[PSEye]]'']

[''Jump cut'']

Anyway, look Vivian, if you really want to get back on my good side, you'll close your [[YouTube]] account, make sh- and make sure all videos are deleted, and ''never, ever, ever'' upload them or make any money off of them ''ever again''! If you really want to earn back my trust, you'll close your YouTube account after deleting every-last-one-of-your-videos! Delete all your videos. Close your YouTube, then maybe I will let you [''exhales''] be back in my good graces. And I will unblock your e-mail address from my AOL. [''sighs''] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Still curse you]]. Because you have done- you have- between you and Clyde Cash, you both have done so much bad against me.

[''Grunts, grabs clown doll, and throws it at PSEye again'']

[''Jump cut'']

Anyway, also, sh-s-stop sending us the dang catalogs and junk. We are shipping up them right back, we are makers-make sure they get sent to [[Wikipedia:Dead letter office|dead letter office]] if they cannot be sent back. So you trolls may as well just stop it! And you can stop the incoming calls because I'm just going to ignore you and delete your voice mails. [''Talks in a high pitch''] "[[White knight e-mails|I have information!]] [''Begins touching his right manboob''] I think you are sexy! I know you're trolls just by talking like that. So just may as well just shut the fuck up! And for the rest of everybody who is [[honest]], true and good; [''makes a V sign''] peace and have a good day.

==See also==
*[[Sign Destruction Video‎]]
*[[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[30 August 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sign Destruction Video]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Troll Videos}}

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

2010-09-11T16:34:59Z

BreadGod: Undo revision 113033 by Jeremyorkin (talk)

[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|250px|The Aqua Teens in ''[[Sonichu 0]]''. Notice Master Shake and Frylock on the table, and the caption "The bun is in your mind" was Meatwad's catchphrase from the Space Ghost: Coast to Coast episode that featured the first appearance of ATHF]]

'''''Aqua Teen Hunger Force''''' is a a low budget, badly-animated series, so it comes as no surprise to see that Chris likes it, even if he probably doesn't get many of the jokes. He has blatantly ripped them off, most notably in his recent ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' created level. An episode is heard playing during the [[CWC is Angry]] video.

Chris wasn't always a fan of the series. In a [[2005]] post on the [[Adult Swim posts|Cartoon Network forums]], he said that he enjoyed all of Adult Swim's shows "except ATHF," although he didn't explain why. He apparently came around later on, though, and even picked up the (astonishingly shitty) Aqua Teen [[List of Chris's games|PlayStation 2 game]].

==Meatwad custom==
An episode of ATHF had the character Meatwad playing with a toy guitar, which he called the 'Shredwad'. The toy was deliberately cheap and shitty looking in the series, which really says something about Chris's art ability since his duplicate of it is just shitty beyond words.
<center>
[[Image:Meatwad_display.png|A picture of meatwad and the guitar Chris ripped off]]
[[Image:Meat.jpg|A customized ATHF Meatwad [[Guitar Hero|gitar]] based on Meatwad's guitar from [[Wikipedia:Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters|Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters]].]]
</center>

==See also==
*''[[Family Guy]]''
*[[Random access humor]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]