CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris Chan in the PokéNews

2011-09-10T04:33:54Z

BrianBash: replacing PCisms with CWCisms

{{Quote|I'll switch- I'll put out my Dragonair...even though it has sixty damage on it... Oh, boy, now I have three energy on it. Slam Attack!|Chris}}

'''"Chris Chan in the PokéNews"''', one segment of [[Chris]]'s [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|''CWC on TV'']] DVD, was filmed 16 October [[1999]] and aired on [[Richmond]]'s [[Wikipedia:NBC|NBC]] affiliate, [[Wikipedia:WWBT|WWBT]].

The local news media did a fluff piece on the rise of the ''[[Pokémon]]'' fandom, which is popular among small children, [[Pedofork|suspicious-looking men]], and [[Christian Weston Chandler|emotionally-stunted manchildren]]. Chris (then aged 17) happens to be among the small children playing the game. The cameraman seems to linger on him for an abnormally long amount of time, perhaps not used to [[Honest Content|the thing he's seeing]].

Chris lists his tenure playing ''Pokémon'' cards with children half his age on his [[resume]], and implies that he volunteered at Books-A-Million.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan in the PokéNews
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vcKsEo52kC8}}
| stardate = 16 October [[1999]]
| maker = WWBT
| subject = {{Television|text}}
| shirt = {{PokeShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario_Kart_64_Lego_Raceway#Part_2|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[The_City_of_Cwicville_Tour!#Watch|The City of Cwicville Tour!]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, age 17, dressed as [[Chris and fashion|Ash Ketchum]], plays a children's card game.]]
'''Female Newscaster:''' Well, if you have grade-schoolers in the house, you'll probably be interested in this next report, and if you don't, ''you'' can learn about a craze that's been sweeping the nation. NBC 12 reporter Jim Babb marched into the marketing breach today to bring us this story of ''Pokémon''.

[''A small boy is trading ''Pokémon'' cards with another small boy.'']

'''Small Boy:''' I'll trade you thi...uh...holograph for a Japanese holograph.

[''A woman is shown scanning booster packs of trading cards at a cash register.'']

[''Jim Babb interviews a small boy with a large binder full of ''Pokemon'' cards.'']

'''Babb:''' You've got hundreds of these cards.

'''Boy:''' I got- yeah, some... Yeah, and I've got a lot more at home.

'''Babb:''' ''[to small boy in orange athletic jersey]'' So, tell me, why do you like ''Pokémon''?

'''Boy:''' I dunno.

'''Babb:''' You're not sure why you like it, but you do, right?

'''Boy:''' Yeah.

[''A brief clip from the ''Pokémon'' [[animu]] is shown while Babb narrates. Later, footage of Books-A-Million is shown.'']

'''Babb:''' Like so many other fads, it got started with a kids' TV show. And, now, ''Pokémon'' is a marketing phenomenon. Kids and parents line up every Saturday at this Chesterfield County bookstore, and they dig deep.

'''Babb:''' [''to woman with handful of booster packs''] How much did all of this cost?

'''Woman:''' $30 with a discount.

'''Babb:''' Then the games begin, with byzantine rules.

[''A crowd of small children plays the ''Pokémon'' trading card game on the shop floor.'']

'''Babb:''' [''to [[niggo]] boy''] So how do you explain the game?

'''Niggo Boy:''' I can't explain; it's too long!

[''Suddenly, the camera lingers on a much older boy, who looks 16-18 years old. He is clad in an ill-fitting, blue long-sleeve shirt, under a yellow T-shirt, under a blue vest. A red and white baseball cap and a sports bottle rest next to him. He is playing the ''Pokémon'' card game with small children.'']
[[File:0d970929359504c420d683d-177.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

'''Chris:''' I'll switch- I'll put out my Dragonair...even though it has sixty damage on it... Oh, boy, now I have three energy on it. Slam Attack!

'''Babb:''' [''to niggo boy''] So, if you had the time to tell me, I wouldn't understand it?

'''Niggo Boy:''' No.

'''[[Pedofork|40-year-old Man]] with [[Pedoglasses|Rapist Glasses]] and Molester Mustache:''' I'm— I'm watching and I still have no clue. [''laughs'']

'''Babb:''' And think about this: this kind of thing is happening in bookstores and toy stores all around the country. If you hadn't known it before, know it now: ''Pokémon'' is ''big''.

'''Randy Cost:''' The biggest trend in kids' toy history, it's multi-multi-billion dollars.

'''Woman:''' It's money. Big time money.

'''Babb:''' You wish you invested?

'''Woman:''' Yeah, that's true! [''laughs'']

'''Boy:''' [''holds up card''] Jolteon!

'''Babb:''' Jolteon.

'''Boy:''' Mmm-hmm!

'''Babb:''' What's special about Jolteon?

'''Boy:''' He's holographic!

'''Babb:''' In Chesterfield County, I'm Jim Babb, NBC 12.

'''Female Newscaster:''' And those little cards aren't cheap; [[Michael Snyder|some merchants]] charge three bucks for a booster pack of— [''Video ends with a picture Chris created of a large Pikachu entering a Pokémon Center.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]]|nextlink=[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 1999-10-16]]

PS3 History Level

2011-09-04T01:14:54Z

BrianBash: /* Transcript */ de-italicised all square brackets in transcript

{{quote|Brought to use[sic] by Sonichu, his [[PLAYSTATION 3]] History level is a definitely[sic] must see. Complete with a series of mini-games and innovative mechanisms, we were enthralled by the amount of content and PS3 features the level was able to highlight.[bad grammar] We especially like how Sonichu took full advantage of the [[PLAYSTATION Eye]] by presenting a detailed lineup of various movies and games from the PLAYSTATION / [[Blu-Ray|BlueRay]][sic] family.|Media Molecule, bringing honour to the country that invented the English language}}

'''PS3 History Level''' is a boring ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level [[Chris]] made in during his period of solitary confinement in [[2008]]. The level was created in response to a contest Media Molecule was holding called the "LittleBigChallenge"; the goal of which was to create a level celebrating the second anniversary of the [[PS3]]. Never one to turn down [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]], Chris soon made a really shitty level that sucked it up to the system, and therefore it was immediately featured on the ''LBP'' site. The reaction of the other ''LBP'' fans was, however, quite funny when [[nudes]] of Chris leaked onto the forum.

The level did not win the contest, but did earn honorable mentions, which resulted in Chris receiving the [[Metal Gear Solid]] level pack for free. Note that Chris claims he bought the PS3 in March [[2006]], but because he's an idiot, he really means [[2007]].

==Watch==

{{#ev:youtube|1o5TMqQoUT4}}</center>

{{quote|Prize bubbles coming down... they're all the icons. Yayyyyyyy!}}

=== Transcript ===

All of the numerous typos have been transcribed to the best of our ability. The text of the speech bubbles have been marked like this. [''Various activities have been marked like this.'']

[''Sonichu sackmonster standing around in the main menu'']

Hello, ''LittleBigPlanet'' community! And everyone in the [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] fanbase. I'm here to introduce the level I've submitted to the LittleBigChallenge.

[''Chris chooses the level to play'']

This is it. So... go here, and heart it. I'm gonna play it for you once.

[''Chris loads the level. Sackboy materialised on top of a gigantic PS3, with pics of Chris and what appears to be [[Chris and rape|ransom notes]].'']

Right, so there's a lot of talk.You don't have to go through all of it.

: Photo of Chris, thumbs-up: Hello, LittleBiGCommunity! I have created this level in tribute to the Playstation 3's 2nd Year

: So, let's pop the Preffered Hi-Definition Blu-Ray Disc in, and I will tell my story of me & [[PS3]].

[''Sacknichu steps on a button which makes the PS3 to load the disc.'']

But I basically tell my story.

[''Sacknichu leaps down in front of various [[Guitar Hero]] boxes.'']

: Before I got my PS3, I've been rockin' with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] and [[Guitar Hero]].

[''Sacknichu lands on the bottom, next to increasingly smaller Guitar Hero controllers. There's a red heart with the text "Please heart this level".'']

That's me and my PS3. Opportunity to jam on my guitar. [Sings something?]

[''Takes a snapshot, then runs forward to collect the first prize bubbles, a grave portent of things to come. Yet another ransom note reads: "Sonuchu & Rosechu are not property of Sony Computer Entertainment or Media Molecule". Sacknichu arrives to a PSP, which also has a photo of Sacknichu on screen.'']

: I was also playing my PSP. Make LittleBiGPlanet Remote Play compatible; It Can Work.

Right, so like I said...

[''Passes a Sonic 2006 box and a crude representation of the figurine mentioned.'']

: In anticipation of my Planned Purchase of my 60GB PS3, I had reserved Sonic the Hedgehog.

: And here's the Limited Edition 15th Anniversay Figure to prove it. :)

You just run through all the text I put in.

[''Skips through the next text bubbles in rapid fire.'']

: I have [?] from the start, Blue Blu-Ray Cases, because look...

: The Discs are Blu-Ray, so BLUE is TRUE for PS3 Discs, and...

: It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES.

: I get a set of 25 cases off of eBay, but if you can find them in your stores, good.

: And from the people of [[Adult Swim]](tm), "Robot Chicken" had their Video Contest with a PS3 to win

Unless you wanna see 'em all.

[''Leaps up to a ledge in the PS3 Tetris rack.'']

But look, my [[pixelated PS3]] is being put together, ''Tetris style''. ... It completed, and look what else comes down!

[''Sackboy barely has time to flinch as Tetris-block-shaped prize bubbles fall on him. He goes down to collect the rest of them. Doing so, he triggers yet another few text bubble which he quickly skips.'']

: And featured in [[Pixelated PS3|my entry Video]], I built one from [[Lego]] Bricks and [[Pixelblocks]].

: Would have made one from WOOD if it was HARD enough. :D

[''Checkpoint'']

You get pixelated PS3 this way. As well as the real one I put together from a- a worse ver- a worse version of someone else put together.

[''Chris walks forward while speaking, and skips the following bubbles quickly.'']

: March 17, 2006. I was able to afford and buy the 60GB Playstation 3, I've also got Wi-Fi @ Home

: Also, August of '07, I was one of 10 winners in the [[Parappa Contest]] with my winning Video.

: I won a copy of the [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins.

: I would like to take this moment to remind y'all who play this level of Real Music Heroes...

And I talk about Parappa the Rapper and UmJammer Lammy.

[''A blurry Parappa and Lammy is shown, and the speech bubble is actually shown for a while.'']

: Parappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy!

The original Singstar and Guitar Hero.

[''Sackmonster runs forth, leaving a trail of skipped bubbles in his wake.'']

: I have read that Parappa was the VERY FIRST to introduce Button-Press-Syncing & Music Games.

: Without Parappa, we would NOT have D.D.R. or [[SingStar Challenge|Singstar]], or even Guitar Hero without Lammy! :)

: I talk a lot about Rockin' with Guitar Hero, but I don't play for a moment without remembering.

[''Sackboy comes to a stairway by a gigantic Umjammer Lammy figure. The bubble is quickly skipped. Chris begins his journey up the stairs.'']

: Um Jammer Lammy; the ORIGINAL Guitar Hero! She should be a Guest Star in a G.H. Game w. Parappa

Yeah, so let's put Lammy and Parappa in a Guitar Hero game as guest star characters.

: Take the hint; Rock with Lammy & Parappa on Playstation 3!

Take the hint, Activision or Sony.

[''Sackboy goes up stairs, collecting a prize bubble on each step.'']

Right, so lotsa prize bubbles are bein' collected! Uh oh...

[''...Chris said, for no particular good reason. Checkpoint. Chris comes to the XrossMediaBar(tm) contraption he built.'']

And we are at the XrossMediaBar I put together for each individual icon. And here's another photo opportunity.

[''Sackboy leaps down to an eye-shaped hole full of prize bubbles.'']

Life of the PlayStation!

[''Sackboy makes a huge grin and waves to camera as Chris takes a snapshot.'']

Yayyyyyy...

[''Sackboy ambles upward with the help of two ladders placed on top of each other, leaping from rung to rung and failing more than a few times.'']

Two ladders, but I think you know which one to choose to go up on.

Not too easy, but the time... but you figure it out.

: PS Store icon says: All Guitar Hero Adds, All PSOne Classics, Tekken 5 and MORE, Only @ the Playstation Store!

Welcome to the PlayStation Store! Yayyyyyyy...

[''Sackboy wanders about and grabs a few prize bubbles. He skips most of the following bubbles, only leaving the last one on screen for any period of time.'']

: http://www.sonichu.net, http://www.us.playstation.com, the Playstation Blog, +

: [[Sonic The Hedgehog|Sonic]], [[Guitar Hero]] (3, Aero, W.T.), [[The Eye of Judgment|E.O.J.]], [[Soul Calibur|S.C.IV]], Folklore, Motorstorm, [[Sonichu's Edge|Mirrors Edge]], [[LittleBigPlanet|L.B.P.]] +

: [[Transformers]], [[Family Guy]], Sex & the City, [[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]], [[Sailor Moon]], PGSM, [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|ATHFCMFFT]], +

: [[Britney Spears]], C.W.C., Guitar Hero ALL. Soundtracks, Sonic CD with "Sonic Boom" of Pastichi, +

: All Sonichu & [[Rosechu]] Images, including my [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic Book Pages]], as seen on [[Sonichu.net]]! +

: Me, My Sweetheart, and Ohter Countries. I can fly quickly to the Japan Store! :)

Prize pubbles coming down.

[''Huge prize bubbles come down.'']

They're all the icons! Yayyyy....

[''Sackboy dutifully collects bubbles, inadvertently trips a speech bubble, which he skips.'']

: To move ahead, Head HOME.

[somewhat unintelligible talk over the game sounds] ...move on... head home... collect the prize bubbles... all the icons on the PlayStation 3 XrossMediaBar.

[''Done grabbing all of the prize bubbles, the Sackboy leaps among the icons.'']

Also, over here, you'll get 20 bubbles out of the trophy.

Here's a tip. More bubbles. Get 'em on your way down.

[''Leaps to the right, collecting bubbles from top of the icons.'']

To going home.

Yep.

[''Drops on the lower level again, by the checkpoint. He leaps around, and inexplicably, the PS3 guitar is shown, with a rather Spartan speech bubble on it.'']

: Gitar says: -

And there's my [[Gitar of Fail|PlayStation 3 Guitar]]. ''Custom painted.''

[''Sackboy entertains us by leaping up the ladder, '''again''' failing at jumps multiple times.'']

(singing) Jumpin' up the ladder... (normal voice) doing all the XrossMediaBar icons. [??? Igloo-enno choppy bay!]

[''Sackboy reaches the top and collects the prize bubbles on the PS3 guitar.'']

Make new friends on the PlayStation Network.

[''Sackboy runs up the guitar's neck.'']

Jump at the last bubble here.

: And Now, the Titles among my Collection that Truly Shows Off PS3's Potential!

[''Sackboy leaps on the next area from the end of the guitar's neck. There is no prize bubble here, despite Chris's claims.'']

...aaaand here.

[''Sackboy leaps on a moving platform that passes some game covers: Sonic 2006, Sega Superstars Tennis, Guitar Hero III, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, Guitar Hero: World Tour, Rock Band, LittleBigPlanet, [[Transformers]] (2007 Game), Transformers (2007 Movie), [[SoulCalibur]] 4, Heavenly Sword, Mirror's Edge, Folklore, Sex and the City (Movie), [[Eye of Judgement]], Motorstorm, BioShock, Resistance: Fall of Man, Spider-Man 3 (Game), Stranglehold: Collector's Edition, and Warhawk.'']

Take a pride of you, some of the games in my collection. And... [??? Royal debt.]. [an attempt at jamming along the music] Hot chicks! In the three games! Uh, make that four. It's Sex and the City. Whoop-de-do. Yayyyyy! [[Homos|I'm straight, don't doubt me!]]

: But, we must REALLY Tip the [[Caitlin|Waiters]] of Every [[Gamestop]] and all those Stores who carry...

[''The picture inexplicably shifts to LittleBigPlanet box, shown alone in its splendor atop an electrified, [[Michael Snyder|blue six-pointed star]]. Chris takes a moment to savor the awesomeness of the sight.'']

: LittleBiGPlanet! YAY!!!!! :D

[[LittleBigPlanet]]. LittleBigPlanet. Yayyyyyy!

[''As the Sackboy continues the journey, a store clerk waves at the player. Sonichu games are on display on the store counter. The clerk laughs like a ninny.'']

: Clerkette says: Hello, welcome to Gamestop. The C.W.C. Certificate?! Yes, Sir!

[[Chloe|Check out the chick at the cash register]], at your local [[GameStop]].

[''The view abruptly changes to show the cashier from another direction.'']

: And with all those games, you get a FREE Guitar and Playstation Eye Camera; Power 2 the Players!

[''Sackboy, meanwhile, is going downhill on the moving platform, next to boxes of [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]] and [[Sonichu's Adventure]].'']

And a couple of games that Sony has decided to do for me. Not yet [???].

[''Sackboy passes a shrunk and tilted version of the aforementioned GameStop counter.'']

: Clerkette (shrunk using dark magic) says: Thank you for shopping at Gamestop; your receipt is in the bag. Have a Great Day. :D

[''The platform comes to a stand. Sackboy leaps over a block of ice on top of a huge shopping bag with PlayStation button symbols.'']

And yes, there is a receipt in the bag.

[''Checkpoint'']

Make sure you check it out. Close-up.

[''Sackboy leaps in the bag to collect items within. The bag topples over.'']

You'll get a copy of the receipt, and the prize bubbles [unintelligible over game sounds].

[''Partially obscured and hard-to-read ransom note: "PRESS THEN JUMP ASIDE!". View switches to show a crude block with text "160 GB HDD SATA". Next to it lies another PSP.'']

: Black Friday of '07, I bought and upgraded to a 160 GB SATA HDD for my PS3...

[''Sackboy leaps forward.'']

: But Mid-October of '08, I've upgraded to 320 GB; learn how to get more Memory for your Buck here

More bang for [[monthly tugboat|your buck]] with more memory.

[''A green "hard drive" slides out of PS3, almost crushing Sackboy, who cleverly dodges it. The other "hard drive" slides in in its place. The PSP drops off from the heavens.'']

Make sure you jump off, because that button is on the directional format.

[''Wood blocks keep sliding back and forth, turning Sackboy into a pancake.'']

Oops.

[''Sackboy emerges from the checkpoint, and manages to not get crushed this time.'']

I'll win a prize for acing the level. A Sonic trophy.

[''Sackboy jumps around, trying in vain to jump over the PSP, always falling through because Chris is not on the same depth-level with the PSP. Chris finally realizes his mistake.'']

Of course you want to jump on the PSP. Move on at this point.

: In the long run still, I have grown and learned more with my Playstation 3...

[''Sackboy leaps and grabs hanging icons, swinging from icon to icon and getting slathered in PS3 praise.'']

: I've ventured to other cultures from my home...

And now you can swing on the XrossMediaBar icons.

: LBP error message: Your profile cannot be saved because it is too large. Try deleting unwanted items from My Pictures, My Objects, My Costumes, or My Levels. [OK]

[''Chris messes up and begins his swingin journey again.'']

And you want to make sure you've got plenty of room for all the ''shopping'' you just did in this level.

: I've grown more techonological, more so than with Nintendo...

[''Sackboy falls on the electrified floor and explodes. Back at the checkpoint, Chris forges ahead to try yet again...'']

It's a double-[??? life]. Bubble-[??? life] is like three a bag. More
power for your buck!

: I've shared my Art...

: My songs...

: my voice and honest opinions...

[''Chris finally succeeds on the first set of swings and lands on top of a PS3 controller.'']

In case you don't make it, or you're taking the paper airplane over there, [unintelligible yodelling] over there. For the five second delay.

[''Chris goes on yet another set of swings.'']

: Surfed the Web within my Pleasure.

: Swing with a PS3 store icon: Found a less costly way to get more games and movies.

[''In a non-Freudian move, Sackboy tenaciously clings on the PS3 store icon while Chris babbles.'']

Be sure to check out all individual story-[?] all individual talks, to enjoy whole story of my life with the PlayStation 3. Best choice. Among the consoles. Even lots better than the [[Hex Bawx|Hexbox]].

: And made some new Acquaintances and Friends.

[''Chris grabs a piece that gives him a really fast lift to the platform above. Checkpoint.'']

We will be number two choice. [Shrieks in surprise and terror] LOOK AT THAT! TRIP UP!

[''Chris stands in front of a seemingly unpassable wall, confusing the watchers'']

Here's some- did whole bunch of prize bubbles that way, but ''I'm saving time'', so...

[''Sackboy turns other way.'']

: LBP error message: Your profile cannot be saved because it is too large. Try deleting unwanted items from My Pictures, My Objects, My Costumes, or My Levels. [OK]

...let's go this way and finish the level.

[''Chris traverses yet another row of swings. The first is a USB symbol, which is what he's referring to in the next comment he says.'']

: And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise.

Be sure to grab the circle or the arrows so you can grab the microphone.

: Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well.

: And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me.

: Plastaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself.

It's not impossible.

: Higher Definition equals Better Points of View.

Take your time!!!

: Talking over the internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury.

Or just keep pressing forward.

: Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation.

Life without PlayStation.

: And with Priceless Expierences, an honest sense of satisfaction,

We're talking about life ''with'' PlayStation!

[''Sackboy lands on a set of magnificently disproportionate stairs, and begins mounting them.'']

: PSN message: Gigith achieved a score of 0 on level LBP's First Theme Park PHOTO BOOTH Studio - NOBODY's LV5 (PS3OL)

: And a more mature winning attitude.

Winning att-roo-with trophies.

: PSN message: Gigith achieved a score of 0 on level LBP's First Theme Park PHOTO BOOTH Studio - NOBODY's LV5 (PS3OL)

[''Checkpoint, because Sackboy COULD die horribly in the last minute'']

: Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...

[In an attempt to sound dramatic] PlayStation 3 and Portable are truly a place that I can call...

: PSN message: Gigith achieved a score of 0 on level LBP's First Theme Park PHOTO BOOTH Studio - NOBODY's LV5 (PS3OL)

[''After ruining the dramatics by slowly bouncing up an increasingly irregular and crude set of stairs, Sackboy reaches a ramp and heads up.'']

: My Digital Home. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever

Digital Home. Yayyyyy! PlayStation Home. A digital home. Only on PlayStation 3! Coming soon, hopefully. Thank you Sony. Best upgrade ever.

[''Sackboy reaches the end of the level.'']

: Level complete! 74% items collected. 98% +24 new items. 36849 points. Hi-scores: #1 Sonichu 67,536, #2 Sonichu1 49,210, #3 Sparradox 25,498, GuitarinGuy8 18,644, #5 Iuanfy 5,583

So. Let's win me that crown, please! [Note: The winner of the contest would receive an in-game crown] Heart this level! It's truly fantastic! From the creator of Sonichu and Rosechu. It took me a whole weekend to put this together.

Thank you in advance for hearting my level! And thank you to everyone who have hearted it already. Have a good day!

==See also==
*[[PS3]]
*[[LBP]]
*[[Sony]]

==External links==
*[http://news.littlebigworkshop.com/en-us/post/2008/11/LBC1-%E2%80%93-Update.aspx The ''LBP'' blog post mentioning Chris]
{{Game Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Video games created by Chris]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2008| 24]]
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

PS3 History Level

2011-09-04T00:55:52Z

BrianBash: removing unnecessary code – words in quoteblocks don't need to be italicised

{{quote|Brought to use[sic] by Sonichu, his [[PLAYSTATION 3]] History level is a definitely[sic] must see. Complete with a series of mini-games and innovative mechanisms, we were enthralled by the amount of content and PS3 features the level was able to highlight.[bad grammar] We especially like how Sonichu took full advantage of the [[PLAYSTATION Eye]] by presenting a detailed lineup of various movies and games from the PLAYSTATION / [[Blu-Ray|BlueRay]][sic] family.|Media Molecule, bringing honour to the country that invented the English language}}

'''PS3 History Level''' is a boring ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level [[Chris]] made in during his period of solitary confinement in [[2008]]. The level was created in response to a contest Media Molecule was holding called the "LittleBigChallenge"; the goal of which was to create a level celebrating the second anniversary of the [[PS3]]. Never one to turn down [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]], Chris soon made a really shitty level that sucked it up to the system, and therefore it was immediately featured on the ''LBP'' site. The reaction of the other ''LBP'' fans was, however, quite funny when [[nudes]] of Chris leaked onto the forum.

The level did not win the contest, but did earn honorable mentions, which resulted in Chris receiving the [[Metal Gear Solid]] level pack for free. Note that Chris claims he bought the PS3 in March [[2006]], but because he's an idiot, he really means [[2007]].

==Watch==

{{#ev:youtube|1o5TMqQoUT4}}</center>

{{quote|Prize bubbles coming down... they're all the icons. Yayyyyyyy!}}

=== Transcript ===

All of the numerous typos have been transcribed to the best of our ability. The text of the speech bubbles have been marked like this. [Various activities have been marked like this.]

[Sonichu sackmonster standing around in the main menu]

Hello, ''LittleBigPlanet'' community! And everyone in the [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] fanbase. I'm here to introduce the level I've submitted to the LittleBigChallenge.

[Chris chooses the level to play]

This is it. So... go here, and heart it. I'm gonna play it for you once.

[Chris loads the level. Sackboy materialised on top of a gigantic PS3, with pics of Chris and what appears to be [[Chris and rape|ransom notes]].]

Right, so there's a lot of talk.You don't have to go through all of it.

: Photo of Chris, thumbs-up: Hello, LittleBiGCommunity! I have created this level in tribute to the Playstation 3's 2nd Year

: So, let's pop the Preffered Hi-Definition Blu-Ray Disc in, and I will tell my story of me & [[PS3]].

[Sacknichu steps on a button which makes the PS3 to load the disc.]

But I basically tell my story.

[Sacknichu leaps down in front of various [[Guitar Hero]] boxes.]

: Before I got my PS3, I've been rockin' with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] and [[Guitar Hero]].

[Sacknichu lands on the bottom, next to increasingly smaller Guitar Hero controllers. There's a red heart with the text "Please heart this level".]

That's me and my PS3. Opportunity to jam on my guitar. [Sings something?]

[Takes a snapshot, then runs forward to collect the first prize bubbles, a grave portent of things to come. Yet another ransom note reads: "Sonuchu & Rosechu are not property of Sony Computer Entertainment or Media Molecule". Sacknichu arrives to a PSP, which also has a photo of Sacknichu on screen.]

: I was also playing my PSP. Make LittleBiGPlanet Remote Play compatible; It Can Work.

Right, so like I said...

[Passes a Sonic 2006 box and a crude representation of the figurine mentioned.]

: In anticipation of my Planned Purchase of my 60GB PS3, I had reserved Sonic the Hedgehog.

: And here's the Limited Edition 15th Anniversay Figure to prove it. :)

You just run through all the text I put in.

[Skips through the next text bubbles in rapid fire.]

: I have [?] from the start, Blue Blu-Ray Cases, because look...

: The Discs are Blu-Ray, so BLUE is TRUE for PS3 Discs, and...

: It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES.

: I get a set of 25 cases off of eBay, but if you can find them in your stores, good.

: And from the people of [[Adult Swim]](tm), "Robot Chicken" had their Video Contest with a PS3 to win

Unless you wanna see 'em all.

[Leaps up to a ledge in the PS3 Tetris rack.]

But look, my [[pixelated PS3]] is being put together, ''Tetris style''. ... It completed, and look what else comes down!

[Sackboy barely has time to flinch as Tetris-block-shaped prize bubbles fall on him. He goes down to collect the rest of them. Doing so, he triggers yet another few text bubble which he quickly skips.]

: And featured in [[Pixelated PS3|my entry Video]], I built one from [[Lego]] Bricks and [[Pixelblocks]].

: Would have made one from WOOD if it was HARD enough. :D

[Checkpoint]

You get pixelated PS3 this way. As well as the real one I put together from a- a worse ver- a worse version of someone else put together.

[Chris walks forward while speaking, and skips the following bubbles quickly.]

: March 17, 2006. I was able to afford and buy the 60GB Playstation 3, I've also got Wi-Fi @ Home

: Also, August of '07, I was one of 10 winners in the [[Parappa Contest]] with my winning Video.

: I won a copy of the [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins.

: I would like to take this moment to remind y'all who play this level of Real Music Heroes...

And I talk about Parappa the Rapper and UmJammer Lammy.

[A blurry Parappa and Lammy is shown, and the speech bubble is actually shown for a while.]

: Parappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy!

The original Singstar and Guitar Hero.

[Sackmonster runs forth, leaving a trail of skipped bubbles in his wake.]

: I have read that Parappa was the VERY FIRST to introduce Button-Press-Syncing & Music Games.

: Without Parappa, we would NOT have D.D.R. or [[SingStar Challenge|Singstar]], or even Guitar Hero without Lammy! :)

: I talk a lot about Rockin' with Guitar Hero, but I don't play for a moment without remembering.

[Sackboy comes to a stairway by a gigantic Umjammer Lammy figure. The bubble is quickly skipped. Chris begins his journey up the stairs.]

: Um Jammer Lammy; the ORIGINAL Guitar Hero! She should be a Guest Star in a G.H. Game w. Parappa

Yeah, so let's put Lammy and Parappa in a Guitar Hero game as guest star characters.

: Take the hint; Rock with Lammy & Parappa on Playstation 3!

Take the hint, Activision or Sony.

[Sackboy goes up stairs, collecting a prize bubble on each step.]

Right, so lotsa prize bubbles are bein' collected! Uh oh...

[...Chris said, for no particular good reason. Checkpoint. Chris comes to the XrossMediaBar™ contraption he built.]

And we are at the XrossMediaBar I put together for each individual icon. And here's another photo opportunity.

[Sackboy leaps down to an eye-shaped hole full of prize bubbles.]

Life of the PlayStation!

[Sackboy makes a huge grin and waves to camera as Chris takes a snapshot.]

Yayyyyyy...

[Sackboy ambles upward with the help of two ladders placed on top of each other, leaping from rung to rung and failing more than a few times.]

Two ladders, but I think you know which one to choose to go up on.

Not too easy, but the time... but you figure it out.

: PS Store icon says: All Guitar Hero Adds, All PSOne Classics, Tekken 5 and MORE, Only @ the Playstation Store!

Welcome to the PlayStation Store! Yayyyyyyy...

[Sackboy wanders about and grabs a few prize bubbles. He skips most of the following bubbles, only leaving the last one on screen for any period of time.]

: http://www.sonichu.net, http://www.us.playstation.com, the Playstation Blog, +

: [[Sonic The Hedgehog|Sonic]], [[Guitar Hero]] (3, Aero, W.T.), [[The Eye of Judgment|E.O.J.]], [[Soul Calibur|S.C.IV]], Folklore, Motorstorm, [[Sonichu's Edge|Mirrors Edge]], [[LittleBigPlanet|L.B.P.]] +

: [[Transformers]], [[Family Guy]], Sex & the City, [[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]], [[Sailor Moon]], PGSM, [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|ATHFCMFFT]], +

: [[Britney Spears]], C.W.C., Guitar Hero ALL. Soundtracks, Sonic CD with "Sonic Boom" of Pastichi, +

: All Sonichu & [[Rosechu]] Images, including my [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic Book Pages]], as seen on [[Sonichu.net]]! +

: Me, My Sweetheart, and Ohter Countries. I can fly quickly to the Japan Store! :)

Prize pubbles coming down.

[Huge prize bubbles come down.]

They're all the icons! Yayyyy....

[Sackboy dutifully collects bubbles, inadvertently trips a speech bubble, which he skips.]

: To move ahead, Head HOME.

[somewhat unintelligible talk over the game sounds] ...move on... head home... collect the prize bubbles... all the icons on the PlayStation 3 XrossMediaBar.

[Done grabbing all of the prize bubbles, the Sackboy leaps among the icons.]

Also, over here, you'll get 20 bubbles out of the trophy.

Here's a tip. More bubbles. Get 'em on your way down.

[Leaps to the right, collecting bubbles from top of the icons.]

To going home.

Yep.

[Drops on the lower level again, by the checkpoint. He leaps around, and inexplicably, the PS3 guitar is shown, with a rather Spartan speech bubble on it.]

: Gitar says: -

And there's my [[Gitar of Fail|PlayStation 3 Guitar]]. ''Custom painted.''

[Sackboy entertains us by leaping up the ladder, '''again''' failing at jumps multiple times.]

(singing) Jumpin' up the ladder... (normal voice) doing all the XrossMediaBar icons. [??? Igloo-enno choppy bay!]

[Sackboy reaches the top and collects the prize bubbles on the PS3 guitar.]

Make new friends on the PlayStation Network.

[Sackboy runs up the guitar's neck.]

Jump at the last bubble here.

: And Now, the Titles among my Collection that Truly Shows Off PS3's Potential!

[Sackboy leaps on the next area from the end of the guitar's neck. There is no prize bubble here, despite Chris's claims.]

...aaaand here.

[Sackboy leaps on a moving platform that passes some game covers: Sonic 2006, Sega Superstars Tennis, Guitar Hero III, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, Guitar Hero: World Tour, Rock Band, LittleBigPlanet, [[Transformers]] (2007 Game), Transformers (2007 Movie), [[SoulCalibur]] 4, Heavenly Sword, Mirror's Edge, Folklore, Sex and the City (Movie), [[Eye of Judgement]], Motorstorm, BioShock, Resistance: Fall of Man, Spider-Man 3 (Game), Stranglehold: Collector's Edition, and Warhawk.]

Take a pride of you, some of the games in my collection. And... [??? Royal debt.]. [an attempt at jamming along the music] Hot chicks! In the three games! Uh, make that four. It's Sex and the City. Whoop-de-do. Yayyyyy! [[Homos|I'm straight, don't doubt me!]]

: But, we must REALLY Tip the [[Caitlin|Waiters]] of Every [[Gamestop]] and all those Stores who carry...

[The picture inexplicably shifts to LittleBigPlanet box, shown alone in its splendor atop an electrified, [[Michael Snyder|blue six-pointed star]]. Chris takes a moment to savor the awesomeness of the sight.]

: LittleBiGPlanet! YAY!!!!! :D

[[LittleBigPlanet]]. LittleBigPlanet. Yayyyyyy!

[As the Sackboy continues the journey, a store clerk waves at the player. Sonichu games are on display on the store counter. The clerk laughs like a ninny.]

: Clerkette says: Hello, welcome to Gamestop. The C.W.C. Certificate?! Yes, Sir!

[[Chloe|Check out the chick at the cash register]], at your local [[GameStop]].

[The view abruptly changes to show the cashier from another direction.]

: And with all those games, you get a FREE Guitar and Playstation Eye Camera; Power 2 the Players!

[Sackboy, meanwhile, is going downhill on the moving platform, next to boxes of [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]] and [[Sonichu's Adventure]].]

And a couple of games that Sony has decided to do for me. Not yet [???].

[Sackboy passes a shrunk and tilted version of the aforementioned GameStop counter.]

: Clerkette (shrunk using dark magic) says: Thank you for shopping at Gamestop; your receipt is in the bag. Have a Great Day. :D

[The platform comes to a stand. Sackboy leaps over a block of ice on top of a huge shopping bag with PlayStation button symbols.]

And yes, there is a receipt in the bag.

[Checkpoint]

Make sure you check it out. Close-up.

[Sackboy leaps in the bag to collect items within. The bag topples over.]

You'll get a copy of the receipt, and the prize bubbles [unintelligible over game sounds].

[Partially obscured and hard-to-read ransom note: "PRESS THEN JUMP ASIDE!". View switches to show a crude block with text "160 GB HDD SATA". Next to it lies another PSP.]

: Black Friday of '07, I bought and upgraded to a 160 GB SATA HDD for my PS3...

[Sackboy leaps forward.]

: But Mid-October of '08, I've upgraded to 320 GB; learn how to get more Memory for your Buck here

More bang for [[monthly tugboat|your buck]] with more memory.

[A green "hard drive" slides out of PS3, almost crushing Sackboy, who cleverly dodges it. The other "hard drive" slides in in its place. The PSP drops off from the heavens.]

Make sure you jump off, because that button is on the directional format.

[Wood blocks keep sliding back and forth, turning Sackboy into a pancake.]

Oops.

[Sackboy emerges from the checkpoint, and manages to not get crushed this time.]

I'll win a prize for acing the level. A Sonic trophy.

[Sackboy jumps around, trying in vain to jump over the PSP, always falling through because Chris is not on the same depth-level with the PSP. Chris finally realizes his mistake.]

Of course you want to jump on the PSP. Move on at this point.

: In the long run still, I have grown and learned more with my Playstation 3...

[Sackboy leaps and grabs hanging icons, swinging from icon to icon and getting slathered in PS3 praise.]

: I've ventured to other cultures from my home...

And now you can swing on the XrossMediaBar icons.

: LBP error message: Your profile cannot be saved because it is too large. Try deleting unwanted items from My Pictures, My Objects, My Costumes, or My Levels. [OK]

[Chris messes up and begins his swingin journey again.]

And you want to make sure you've got plenty of room for all the ''shopping'' you just did in this level.

: I've grown more techonological, more so than with Nintendo...

[Sackboy falls on the electrified floor and explodes. Back at the checkpoint, Chris forges ahead to try yet again...]

It's a double-[??? life]. Bubble-[??? life] is like three a bag. More
power for your buck!

: I've shared my Art...

: My songs...

: my voice and honest opinions...

[Chris finally succeeds on the first set of swings and lands on top of a PS3 controller.]

In case you don't make it, or you're taking the paper airplane over there, [unintelligible yodelling] over there. For the five second delay.

[Chris goes on yet another set of swings.]

: Surfed the Web within my Pleasure.

: Swing with a PS3 store icon: Found a less costly way to get more games and movies.

[In a non-Freudian move, Sackboy tenaciously clings on the PS3 store icon while Chris babbles.]

Be sure to check out all individual story-[?] all individual talks, to enjoy whole story of my life with the PlayStation 3. Best choice. Among the consoles. Even lots better than the [[Hex Bawx|Hexbox]].

: And made some new Acquaintances and Friends.

[Chris grabs a piece that gives him a really fast lift to the platform above. Checkpoint.]

We will be number two choice. [Shrieks in surprise and terror] LOOK AT THAT! TRIP UP!

[Chris stands in front of a seemingly unpassable wall, confusing the watchers]

Here's some- did whole bunch of prize bubbles that way, but ''I'm saving time'', so...

[Sackboy turns other way.]

: LBP error message: Your profile cannot be saved because it is too large. Try deleting unwanted items from My Pictures, My Objects, My Costumes, or My Levels. [OK]

...let's go this way and finish the level.

[Chris traverses yet another row of swings. The first is a USB symbol, which is what he's referring to in the next comment he says.]

: And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise.

Be sure to grab the circle or the arrows so you can grab the microphone.

: Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well.

: And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me.

: Plastaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself.

It's not impossible.

: Higher Definition equals Better Points of View.

Take your time!!!

: Talking over the internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury.

Or just keep pressing forward.

: Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation.

Life without PlayStation.

: And with Priceless Expierences, an honest sense of satisfaction,

We're talking about life ''with'' PlayStation!

[Sackboy lands on a set of magnificently disproportionate stairs, and begins mounting them.]

: PSN message: Gigith achieved a score of 0 on level LBP's First Theme Park PHOTO BOOTH Studio - NOBODY's LV5 (PS3OL)

: And a more mature winning attitude.

Winning att-roo-with trophies.

: PSN message: Gigith achieved a score of 0 on level LBP's First Theme Park PHOTO BOOTH Studio - NOBODY's LV5 (PS3OL)

[Checkpoint, because Sackboy COULD die horribly in the last minute]

: Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...

[In an attempt to sound dramatic] PlayStation 3 and Portable are truly a place that I can call...

: PSN message: Gigith achieved a score of 0 on level LBP's First Theme Park PHOTO BOOTH Studio - NOBODY's LV5 (PS3OL)

[After ruining the dramatics by slowly bouncing up an increasingly irregular and crude set of stairs, Sackboy reaches a ramp and heads up.]

: My Digital Home. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever

Digital Home. Yayyyyy! PlayStation Home. A digital home. Only on PlayStation 3! Coming soon, hopefully. Thank you Sony. Best upgrade ever.

[Sackboy reaches the end of the level.]

: Level complete! 74% items collected. 98% +24 new items. 36849 points. Hi-scores: #1 Sonichu 67,536, #2 Sonichu1 49,210, #3 Sparradox 25,498, GuitarinGuy8 18,644, #5 Iuanfy 5,583

So. Let's win me that crown, please! ''[Note: The winner of the contest would receive an in-game crown]'' Heart this level! It's truly fantastic! From the creator of Sonichu and Rosechu. It took me a whole weekend to put this together.

Thank you in advance for hearting my level! And thank you to everyone who have hearted it already. Have a good day!

==See also==
*[[PS3]]
*[[LBP]]
*[[Sony]]

==External links==
*[http://news.littlebigworkshop.com/en-us/post/2008/11/LBC1-%E2%80%93-Update.aspx The ''LBP'' blog post mentioning Chris]
{{Game Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Video games created by Chris]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2008| 24]]
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki

2011-09-04T00:26:03Z

BrianBash: /* Suppress your own Autistic urges. */

[[Image:Chrisshotweb.jpg|right|200px]]
'''GREETINGS, TRUE AND LOYAL SONICHU FAN!''' So, you wish to edit the wiki on the Internet's most beloved and most hated autistic manchild? This isn't your average [[4-cent_garbage.com|/b/tard]] shit that you're getting yourself into. So here's a cwc (pronounced: 'quick') guide to CWCki:

==When it comes to dates, be a Eurofag==

This: dd Month Year

Example: today is {{CURRENTDAY}} {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}.

Not this: Month dd, year

Example: today is {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTDAY}}, {{CURRENTYEAR}}.

Likewise, avoid numerical dating ('''{{CURRENTMONTH}}/{{CURRENTDAY}}/{{CURRENTYEAR}}''' or '''{{CURRENTDAY}}/{{CURRENTMONTH}}/{{CURRENTYEAR}}''') because that confuses the hell out of people depending if you're a Eurofag or Americunt.

While Americanized spellings are the standard, it's still a good idea to use Eurofag dating to avoid confusion.

Furthermore, it's easier to link to.

For instance, if you went with Eurofag dating, to link to a month, all it would be is:

'''<nowiki>dd [[Month Year]]</nowiki>'''

whereas an Americunt dating would be:

'''<nowiki> Month dd [[Month Year|Year]]</nowiki>'''

==When it comes to spelling, be an Americunt==

Chris is American as are a majority of trolls. As a result, Americanized English is the standard for CWCki. So no unnecessary vowels (unnecessary us, os, etc.), it's a "truck" and not a "lorry," it's an "elevator" and not a "lift," etc.

However, on a similar note, please be considerate of our Eurofag brethren. Some Eurofags are not totally familiar with American TV shows, food chains, etc. which Chris frequently references so it is helpful to add a mild explanatory note for these (such as comparing Chris's beloved [[Golden Corral]] to British Pub Restaurant chain Beefeaters). For instance, if a game title has a different title in Europe, by all means mention this (such as how ''[[Animal Crossing]]: City Folk'' was known as ''Animal Crossing: Let's Go to the City'' in Europe).

==The possessive of Chris is "Chris's"==

Your English teacher was wrong. When it comes to proper nouns, you are suppose to append 's at the end, even if the name ends in "s" (the exception is formal archaic name, like [[GodJesus|Jesus]], but then it'd be "the parables of Jesus" or a name where it would be very awkward to add another s, like "Jess").

Page 1 of Strunk & White's ''[[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]]'' states this, and this is the standard [http://www.economist.com/research/styleGuide/index.cfm?page=841359 The Economist] uses. Some argue the opposite but those people are [[slow-in-the-minds]].

==Sign your comments==
If you're making a comment on the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]] or on a talk page, please sign your comments. It's four tildes in a row (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>). That way, we know who said what and makes life a whole lot easier.

==Don't be a namefag==

'''DON'T FUCKING ADD YOURSELF.'''

The general guideline for trolls having their own articles are trolls who have interacted directly with Chris and have been referred to by Chris in some explicit way (such as [[Clyde Cash]]).

There are a few exceptions but for the most part, unless we've heard of you via Chris, you don't warrant your own article. Besides, no one probably gives a shit about your shitty troll persona or your shitty CWC site (lol).

You are however free to do with your User Page on CWCki as you wish, within reason (i.e. don't add a zillion pics not related to Chris to it, or use it as a text dump for your porn site passwords, etc).

==A note on notability==
Related to namefaggotry is notability.

While not as strict as [[Wikipedia:Notability in Wikipedia|Wikipedia]], CWCki still maintains a guideline of notability: '''if Chris has responded to someone or something, it warrants a mention on CWCki.'''

In other words, a random guy who makes a video response to Chris doesn't warrant their own article. Otherwise, we'd have a wiki full of faggots trying to be funny with "NASTY, CHRIS DRINKS HIS OWN SEMEN!"

To clarify, by the first part, someone or something that has caused a response from Chris warrants mention on CWCki. For instance, [[Evan]] warrants his own article because of the infamous [[masturbating and squirtin']] e-mail as well as [[Simonla Rosechu]]. [[Clyde Cash]] warrants his own article as Chris has made several videos threatening Clyde's life.

The major exception to this rule is any mainstream media references to Chris. No, not some random blogger or some random person on YouTube but actual TV, radio stations, or high profile blogs (ex. Fark, The Atlantic, etc.). These references should be incorporated into the Chris related media they cite.

And of course, anything Chris does or says is notable and deserves mention on the CWCki.

This does not mean everything Chris mentions gets an article - it should just be mentioned ''somewhere,'' preferably in existing articles.

There are of course exceptions that are dealt with on a case by case basis.

==Brevity is wit==

Don't ramble on unnecessarily. '''Learn to edit yourself'''. Read what you've written. Is everything in it entirely necessary? Can it be reworded to better effect? Think about what you yourself might read. Would you really be interested in reading a 10,000 treatise on the psychology of Chris's bowel movements? So why should anybody else? If so, what the Hell is wrong with you?

This especially goes for summaries. Remember what they are - ''summaries''. They shouldn't be longer than the transcription/article being commented upon. Keep psychological mumbo-jumbo to a minimum, or preferably, to yourself.

===Suppress your own Autistic urges.===

This goes for fans of anime, video games, and comics; religious or political views; as well as different sexual fetishes. Chris might own your videogame or watch your anime or mention something about which you hold a very strong opinion. He may even mention it quite frequently. This doesn't mean it warrants a CWCki page, and it certainly doesn't mean that you need to reference it every third article or write about how Chris's understanding or interpretation of Contemporary Post-Trotskyist Feminine Theory is incorrect.

==LURK MOAR==

Before adding an article, check to see if it hasn't been added already. CWCki isn't exactly [[Chris and Wikipedia|Wikipedia]] or [[ED]], so everything might not be redirected. You may have to search a bit but it helps if you look for articles before duplicating them. Same applies to images.

If you think a redirect would be appropriate for a particular search phrase, go ahead and add it: <nowiki># REDIRECT [[target page]]</nowiki>. Keep in mind, that the phrase should be a fairly generic and common term, and relevant to the particular target.

==Privacy==

Information wants to be free, blah blah blah. While CWCki is very unabashedly uncensored, it's wise to wait before posting things. Although Chris is very dense when it comes to denying the truth even when clearly presented to him, some trolls are sensitive about leaked info and wish that their "covers" not be "blown" so be considerate.

==LURK MOAR==

Some people come here straight from reading the [[ED]] article on Chris and decide they want their hand in editing. Unfortunately, the ED article on Chris-chan is frequently out of date, or it misses out on very recent developments.

If you're going to be editing CWCki, hang out in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]]. It's a hot source of all the goings on with Chris and keeps up to date with all the most recent happenings. Just don't be a fag or else you'll be banned.

Likewise, spend some time reading and listening to everything Chris related, including the chat logs, sex audio, all of his videos, [[Mumble]] chats, etc. Yes, it requires an unhealthy amount of time but you'll get deeper into the rabbit hole and want to see how far it goes. These things are generally not on the ED page and you'll miss out on a lot of details on Chris (for instance, [[Reginald Chandler]] or how Chris [[semen|drinks his own semen]].)

==Dive right in==
Even though you should lurk moar, don't be afraid to edit the CWCki. ''Anyone'' can and should edit the CWCki. You do not need to "prove yourself" to get a CWCki account and you will not be banned if you make a mistake.

If you're posting complaints about the CWCki on PVCC or Krapple, you're doing it wrong. If you see something wrong with CWCki, feel free to make your opinion heard or to take matters into your own hands and fix things.

==Get involved==
CWCki is (mostly) democratic. While not perfectly democratic as say, Wikipedia, users do have influence in policy. While editing articles or contributing to the CWCki in other ways should be #1, it's also good to get involved in the workings of the CWCki. Be sure to regularly check the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]], especially the [[CWCki:Policy|Policy]] and [[CWCki:News]] pages.

Being involved in CWCki inner workings means that you get a say in how the CWCki is run and provide valuable feedback to the CWCki staff to better improve the CWCki user experience. So please, get involved, it's '''your''' CWCki.

==Try to aim for NPOV==
No, this does not mean you cannot say anything bad about Chris. Aim for ''criticism'', not outright bashing of Chris. Likewise, when dealing with other trolling sites, users, etc. try to present them in neutral terms.

So go ahead, criticize Chris, but don't try too hard. If Chris lies, it's fine to say he's a liar. But by implying that by lying he's "scum of the Earth," "a worthless piece of shit," etc. then you're just trying really too hard.

[[CWCki:NOTED|We're not ED]], we're here to document Chris and mocking is mostly indirect.

==Updating da update==

[[Da update]] is perhaps what most people come to CWCki for, to see what is new with Chris. But what constitutes an update?

Chris releasing a new video? Hell yeah!

Leaked stuff with Chris in it? Definitely.

Something you heard off some guy in IRC? No, not really.

Something you heard off [[/cwc/]]? No.

Something you heard that someone heard off ED? Fuck no.

In order for something to be considered update worthy, '''it has to be a publicly available media involving Chris.''' While there are many reliable sources who can provide information on Chris, it still does not hold up to encyclopedic standards, which CWCki strives to adhere to. While it is okay to incorporate such information into articles ''as'' alleged information, it is not an update to say that Chris has ''allegedly'' done something.

==Cite only publicly available media==
On a similar note, '''only publicly available forms of media are acceptable forms of citable material on CWCki.''' This means that PVCC posts, private audio files, etc. are not acceptable to cite in articles, even if the authenticity is without question.

The goal of this is to promote transparency and to allow the trolling community at large to easily verify if the citation is true or not.

==Resize your images==
Please try and resize your images so they're under 150 kb before you upload them. Seriously, it only takes like, a minute in MS Paint to resize them. If you're not sure how, here's a [[Help:Resizing images|handy guide]] on how to resize images. [[Fail]]ing that, we have [[User:Fuckingstupid|resident]] [[User:Whoreos n' Milf|experts]] to answer any further questions, or to help you with resizing things.

If it's a huge animated .gif, then it better be damn funny and/or amusing.

==DO IT, FAGGOT/what goes on CWCki should stay on CWCki==
If you see something wrong or a mistake on CWCki, '''fix it.''' Don't start a thread on [[Krapple|/cwc/]] about how you saw something wrong on CWCki and say how you can't believe it's wrong. Fix it. Don't complain about a video link being dead, find a working link and add it to the article. If you're not sure how to fix it, then make a comment in the article's talk page addressing your concern about the article. Likewise, don't make a thread about how you'd like to see CWCki address [x] topic. Make that article. If it sucks, it'll get deleted. If not, others will have a chance to build it up. If you dislike the quality of the CWCki, don't bitch about it on PVCC, get involved and edit articles to make them higher quality.

Likewise, discussions pertaining CWCki should be on CWCki. If you have a beef with someone, don't bitch about them on [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]]. Keep it on CWCki and things can be resolved. Likewise, if you want to collaborate with others to work on an article, you're more than welcome to go to other forums to do this but by all means mention this on the CWCki itself.

==Learn how to pipe==
Read [[Help:A Guide to Piping|this]] as a guide to linking to other articles on the site.

==Conclusion==
Follow these simple rules and you'll become a regular CWCki wikifag in no time!

==See also==
*[[CWCki:CWCki is|What CWCki is and is not]]

[[Category:CWCki policy]]

Template:PublicSource

2011-09-04T00:23:09Z

BrianBash:

[''[[public source needed]]'']<includeonly>[[Category:Articles needing public sources]]</includeonly><noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is an inline template used to identify questionable claims that lack a citation to a reliable ''public'' source. When used, the page displays "public source needed" in superscript next to the sentence. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<pre>Private audio chats leaked on PVCC revealed that Chris dug up Patti's grave on November 31, 2010{{PublicSource}}</pre>'''

- Displays:Private audio chats leaked on PVCC revealed that Chris dug up Patti's grave on November 31, 2010{{PublicSource}}

The idea here is not just to provide a citation for information, but also to ensure that everyone can actually see it. It doesn't do any good to cite a moderated forum that only registered members can read. And any asshole can say they called Chris on the phone and found out something juicy about him. Unless the phone call is published on the internet where we can ''all'' see it, it's hearsay at best.
}}
[[Category: Inline templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki

2011-09-04T00:21:03Z

BrianBash: /* Suppress your own Autistic urges. */

[[Image:Chrisshotweb.jpg|right|200px]]
'''GREETINGS, TRUE AND LOYAL SONICHU FAN!''' So, you wish to edit the wiki on the Internet's most beloved and most hated autistic manchild? This isn't your average [[4-cent_garbage.com|/b/tard]] shit that you're getting yourself into. So here's a cwc (pronounced: 'quick') guide to CWCki:

==When it comes to dates, be a Eurofag==

This: dd Month Year

Example: today is {{CURRENTDAY}} {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}.

Not this: Month dd, year

Example: today is {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTDAY}}, {{CURRENTYEAR}}.

Likewise, avoid numerical dating ('''{{CURRENTMONTH}}/{{CURRENTDAY}}/{{CURRENTYEAR}}''' or '''{{CURRENTDAY}}/{{CURRENTMONTH}}/{{CURRENTYEAR}}''') because that confuses the hell out of people depending if you're a Eurofag or Americunt.

While Americanized spellings are the standard, it's still a good idea to use Eurofag dating to avoid confusion.

Furthermore, it's easier to link to.

For instance, if you went with Eurofag dating, to link to a month, all it would be is:

'''<nowiki>dd [[Month Year]]</nowiki>'''

whereas an Americunt dating would be:

'''<nowiki> Month dd [[Month Year|Year]]</nowiki>'''

==When it comes to spelling, be an Americunt==

Chris is American as are a majority of trolls. As a result, Americanized English is the standard for CWCki. So no unnecessary vowels (unnecessary us, os, etc.), it's a "truck" and not a "lorry," it's an "elevator" and not a "lift," etc.

However, on a similar note, please be considerate of our Eurofag brethren. Some Eurofags are not totally familiar with American TV shows, food chains, etc. which Chris frequently references so it is helpful to add a mild explanatory note for these (such as comparing Chris's beloved [[Golden Corral]] to British Pub Restaurant chain Beefeaters). For instance, if a game title has a different title in Europe, by all means mention this (such as how ''[[Animal Crossing]]: City Folk'' was known as ''Animal Crossing: Let's Go to the City'' in Europe).

==The possessive of Chris is "Chris's"==

Your English teacher was wrong. When it comes to proper nouns, you are suppose to append 's at the end, even if the name ends in "s" (the exception is formal archaic name, like [[GodJesus|Jesus]], but then it'd be "the parables of Jesus" or a name where it would be very awkward to add another s, like "Jess").

Page 1 of Strunk & White's ''[[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]]'' states this, and this is the standard [http://www.economist.com/research/styleGuide/index.cfm?page=841359 The Economist] uses. Some argue the opposite but those people are [[slow-in-the-minds]].

==Sign your comments==
If you're making a comment on the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]] or on a talk page, please sign your comments. It's four tildes in a row (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>). That way, we know who said what and makes life a whole lot easier.

==Don't be a namefag==

'''DON'T FUCKING ADD YOURSELF.'''

The general guideline for trolls having their own articles are trolls who have interacted directly with Chris and have been referred to by Chris in some explicit way (such as [[Clyde Cash]]).

There are a few exceptions but for the most part, unless we've heard of you via Chris, you don't warrant your own article. Besides, no one probably gives a shit about your shitty troll persona or your shitty CWC site (lol).

You are however free to do with your User Page on CWCki as you wish, within reason (i.e. don't add a zillion pics not related to Chris to it, or use it as a text dump for your porn site passwords, etc).

==A note on notability==
Related to namefaggotry is notability.

While not as strict as [[Wikipedia:Notability in Wikipedia|Wikipedia]], CWCki still maintains a guideline of notability: '''if Chris has responded to someone or something, it warrants a mention on CWCki.'''

In other words, a random guy who makes a video response to Chris doesn't warrant their own article. Otherwise, we'd have a wiki full of faggots trying to be funny with "NASTY, CHRIS DRINKS HIS OWN SEMEN!"

To clarify, by the first part, someone or something that has caused a response from Chris warrants mention on CWCki. For instance, [[Evan]] warrants his own article because of the infamous [[masturbating and squirtin']] e-mail as well as [[Simonla Rosechu]]. [[Clyde Cash]] warrants his own article as Chris has made several videos threatening Clyde's life.

The major exception to this rule is any mainstream media references to Chris. No, not some random blogger or some random person on YouTube but actual TV, radio stations, or high profile blogs (ex. Fark, The Atlantic, etc.). These references should be incorporated into the Chris related media they cite.

And of course, anything Chris does or says is notable and deserves mention on the CWCki.

This does not mean everything Chris mentions gets an article - it should just be mentioned ''somewhere,'' preferably in existing articles.

There are of course exceptions that are dealt with on a case by case basis.

==Brevity is wit==

Don't ramble on unnecessarily. '''Learn to edit yourself'''. Read what you've written. Is everything in it entirely necessary? Can it be reworded to better effect? Think about what you yourself might read. Would you really be interested in reading a 10,000 treatise on the psychology of Chris's bowel movements? So why should anybody else? If so, what the Hell is wrong with you?

This especially goes for summaries. Remember what they are - ''summaries''. They shouldn't be longer than the transcription/article being commented upon. Keep psychological mumbo-jumbo to a minimum, or preferably, to yourself.

===Suppress your own Autistic urges.===

This goes for fans of anime, video games, and comics; religious or political views; as well as different sexual fetishes. Chris might own your videogame or watch your anime or mention something about which you hold a very strong opinion. He may even mention it quite frequently. This doesn't mean it warrants a CWCki page, and it certainly doesn't mean that you need to reference it every third article or write about how Chris's understanding or interpretation of ''Contemporary Post-Trotskyist Feminine Theory in The PS3 Gaming Community'' was completely debunked by the succeeding ''Corollary on Xbox-phobic Manifestations Inherent in HFA Manchildren''.

==LURK MOAR==

Before adding an article, check to see if it hasn't been added already. CWCki isn't exactly [[Chris and Wikipedia|Wikipedia]] or [[ED]], so everything might not be redirected. You may have to search a bit but it helps if you look for articles before duplicating them. Same applies to images.

If you think a redirect would be appropriate for a particular search phrase, go ahead and add it: <nowiki># REDIRECT [[target page]]</nowiki>. Keep in mind, that the phrase should be a fairly generic and common term, and relevant to the particular target.

==Privacy==

Information wants to be free, blah blah blah. While CWCki is very unabashedly uncensored, it's wise to wait before posting things. Although Chris is very dense when it comes to denying the truth even when clearly presented to him, some trolls are sensitive about leaked info and wish that their "covers" not be "blown" so be considerate.

==LURK MOAR==

Some people come here straight from reading the [[ED]] article on Chris and decide they want their hand in editing. Unfortunately, the ED article on Chris-chan is frequently out of date, or it misses out on very recent developments.

If you're going to be editing CWCki, hang out in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]]. It's a hot source of all the goings on with Chris and keeps up to date with all the most recent happenings. Just don't be a fag or else you'll be banned.

Likewise, spend some time reading and listening to everything Chris related, including the chat logs, sex audio, all of his videos, [[Mumble]] chats, etc. Yes, it requires an unhealthy amount of time but you'll get deeper into the rabbit hole and want to see how far it goes. These things are generally not on the ED page and you'll miss out on a lot of details on Chris (for instance, [[Reginald Chandler]] or how Chris [[semen|drinks his own semen]].)

==Dive right in==
Even though you should lurk moar, don't be afraid to edit the CWCki. ''Anyone'' can and should edit the CWCki. You do not need to "prove yourself" to get a CWCki account and you will not be banned if you make a mistake.

If you're posting complaints about the CWCki on PVCC or Krapple, you're doing it wrong. If you see something wrong with CWCki, feel free to make your opinion heard or to take matters into your own hands and fix things.

==Get involved==
CWCki is (mostly) democratic. While not perfectly democratic as say, Wikipedia, users do have influence in policy. While editing articles or contributing to the CWCki in other ways should be #1, it's also good to get involved in the workings of the CWCki. Be sure to regularly check the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]], especially the [[CWCki:Policy|Policy]] and [[CWCki:News]] pages.

Being involved in CWCki inner workings means that you get a say in how the CWCki is run and provide valuable feedback to the CWCki staff to better improve the CWCki user experience. So please, get involved, it's '''your''' CWCki.

==Try to aim for NPOV==
No, this does not mean you cannot say anything bad about Chris. Aim for ''criticism'', not outright bashing of Chris. Likewise, when dealing with other trolling sites, users, etc. try to present them in neutral terms.

So go ahead, criticize Chris, but don't try too hard. If Chris lies, it's fine to say he's a liar. But by implying that by lying he's "scum of the Earth," "a worthless piece of shit," etc. then you're just trying really too hard.

[[CWCki:NOTED|We're not ED]], we're here to document Chris and mocking is mostly indirect.

==Updating da update==

[[Da update]] is perhaps what most people come to CWCki for, to see what is new with Chris. But what constitutes an update?

Chris releasing a new video? Hell yeah!

Leaked stuff with Chris in it? Definitely.

Something you heard off some guy in IRC? No, not really.

Something you heard off [[/cwc/]]? No.

Something you heard that someone heard off ED? Fuck no.

In order for something to be considered update worthy, '''it has to be a publicly available media involving Chris.''' While there are many reliable sources who can provide information on Chris, it still does not hold up to encyclopedic standards, which CWCki strives to adhere to. While it is okay to incorporate such information into articles ''as'' alleged information, it is not an update to say that Chris has ''allegedly'' done something.

==Cite only publicly available media==
On a similar note, '''only publicly available forms of media are acceptable forms of citable material on CWCki.''' This means that PVCC posts, private audio files, etc. are not acceptable to cite in articles, even if the authenticity is without question.

The goal of this is to promote transparency and to allow the trolling community at large to easily verify if the citation is true or not.

==Resize your images==
Please try and resize your images so they're under 150 kb before you upload them. Seriously, it only takes like, a minute in MS Paint to resize them. If you're not sure how, here's a [[Help:Resizing images|handy guide]] on how to resize images. [[Fail]]ing that, we have [[User:Fuckingstupid|resident]] [[User:Whoreos n' Milf|experts]] to answer any further questions, or to help you with resizing things.

If it's a huge animated .gif, then it better be damn funny and/or amusing.

==DO IT, FAGGOT/what goes on CWCki should stay on CWCki==
If you see something wrong or a mistake on CWCki, '''fix it.''' Don't start a thread on [[Krapple|/cwc/]] about how you saw something wrong on CWCki and say how you can't believe it's wrong. Fix it. Don't complain about a video link being dead, find a working link and add it to the article. If you're not sure how to fix it, then make a comment in the article's talk page addressing your concern about the article. Likewise, don't make a thread about how you'd like to see CWCki address [x] topic. Make that article. If it sucks, it'll get deleted. If not, others will have a chance to build it up. If you dislike the quality of the CWCki, don't bitch about it on PVCC, get involved and edit articles to make them higher quality.

Likewise, discussions pertaining CWCki should be on CWCki. If you have a beef with someone, don't bitch about them on [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]]. Keep it on CWCki and things can be resolved. Likewise, if you want to collaborate with others to work on an article, you're more than welcome to go to other forums to do this but by all means mention this on the CWCki itself.

==Learn how to pipe==
Read [[Help:A Guide to Piping|this]] as a guide to linking to other articles on the site.

==Conclusion==
Follow these simple rules and you'll become a regular CWCki wikifag in no time!

==See also==
*[[CWCki:CWCki is|What CWCki is and is not]]

[[Category:CWCki policy]]

Public source needed

2011-09-03T23:36:55Z

BrianBash: so that the changes to the Template:PublicSauce (hopefully soon to be renamed PublicSource) template will work correctly

#REDIRECT [[Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki#Cite_only_publicly_available_media]]

Template:PublicSource

2011-09-03T23:32:40Z

BrianBash: changed "sauce" to "source"

[''[[public source needed]]'']<includeonly>[[Category:Articles needing public sources]]</includeonly><noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is an inline template used to identify questionable claims that lack a citation to a reliable ''public'' source. When used, the page displays "public source needed" in superscript next to the sentence. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<pre>Private audio chats leaked on PVCC revealed that Chris dug up Patti's grave on November 31, 2010{{PublicSauce}}</pre>'''

- Displays:Private audio chats leaked on PVCC revealed that Chris dug up Patti's grave on November 31, 2010{{PublicSauce}}

The idea here is not just to provide a citation for information, but also to ensure that everyone can actually see it. It doesn't do any good to cite a moderated forum that only registered members can read. And any asshole can say they called Chris on the phone and found out something juicy about him. Unless the phone call is published on the internet where we can ''all'' see it, it's hearsay at best.
}}
[[Category: Inline templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

User talk:Champthom

2011-09-03T23:30:05Z

BrianBash: /* Standardising Template:PublicSauce */ new section

Talk to me.

Be sure to check out the archives as well:

'''Archive:''' [[User:Champthom/Archive 1|1]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 2|2]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 3|3]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 4|4]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 5|5]]

==Champ tomas==

okay like i'll have all the subtitles backed up on my hd so far, did you have i have like 8gb of cwc shit on my computer? yeah i know right. so anywayyyy i have decided to credit ppl on both the caption titles (for example, "iamstraight by champthom") and the video descriptions for double the fun!!also if i can't upload the subtitles i can ask tito to. i should be fine though. [[User:Abejita Cortez|Abejita Cortez]] 19:09, 17 February 2011 (PST)

== PSN Tracker ==

I'm not sure if you're the right person to ask, but I recently got Chris to add me on the PSN.
How would I contribute to the PSN tracker? [[User:Dillon627|Dillon627]] 09:19, 22 February 2011 (PST)
*edit the psn tracker? i think anyone can edit it bro -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 10:42, 22 February 2011 (PST)
* http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Template:PSNTracker&action=edit here you go -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 10:43, 22 February 2011 (PST)
Thanks. I'll try to start updating it when I can. [[User:Dillon627|Dillon627]] 12:12, 22 February 2011 (PST)

== I apologize ==

I apologize for doing something wrong while transcribing Kacey Call 8. I want you to know that I am currently still working on the transcript, but as you can imagine, it is not walk in the park... It's a little over 35 minutes long and I'm sure you know how hard it is to transcribe audio. I also want you to know that I will try to do better in the future. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 16:34, 4 March 2011 (PST)
*I do appreciate the effort, I do ask though you add [[:Template:Transcription|this template]] to pages that aren't completely transcribed. That way, people can pick up the slack so it's not all on you. I do appreciate your work and I hope you continue transcribing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:51, 4 March 2011 (PST)
::Thanks for deleting the thinger-ma-bobber. Now that I look back at the edits, that should've been obvious..but I fail at computer stuff as it is so I'll blame it on that. :P --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 18:51, 6 March 2011 (PST)

== Re:Comic Categories ==

Sounds like a good idea.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 18:02, 4 March 2011 (PST)

== Always here ==

Wallflower policy here: http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Talk:The_Wallflower#Stating_CWCki_Policy

I have never left, friend. I merely got a new job that causes me to work long hours. Once my time becomes free-er and my heart level recovers from Mumble translations, I shall return full-time. I still check here once a day or more.

Want a pizza roll? Message me if you want a pizza roll. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 19:06, 7 March 2011 (PST)

:Edit: I'll post it in the right place later tonight. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 19:17, 7 March 2011 (PST)
:*Just did it dude, thanks for the help. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:17, 7 March 2011 (PST)

==Anything I can do at the moment?==

I've watched the CWCki for a while now and now that I've joined, I'd like to know if there is anything specific I can help with. Thanks. --[[user:Ctahu|Ctahu]] [[User_talk:Ctahu|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Ctahu|c)]] 17:50, 19 April 2011 (EST)

==Can do==
Sorry I took so long to reply, it was 3AM here when you left the message and I just got it. I'll keep IRC open for whenever you're available. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 07:10, 23 April 2011 (PDT)

== Love ==

Champ,

Just when everyone- EVERYONE- thought Chris had shriveled up, dried out like a prune and flat out fucking died- you [[Tomgirl_Pictures|delivered]]. Technically it was Freecell who uploaded them and obviously some [[troll|beautiful, honest woman]] persuaded him to do this, but in my reality Champthom knows all, sees all... so yeah.

Holy shit. Honestly, if we get nothing else for 2011...

... I want you bad.

--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 08:17, 29 April 2011 (PDT)

== Possible new article ==

I noticed after I signed up a couple weeks ago that the articles on the retconned Asperchu characters were an absolute clusterfuck, so I've been experimenting in my [[User:Old meme/Sandbox|sandbox]] for a while now on merging the [[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)]], [[Basement Rosechus]] and [[Mitch Sonichu]] pages. I added some new images and had Freecell look at it and make his own additions, and he thinks it's ready for the main namespace. Obviously though, that will involve moving pages and fixing broken redirects, and being the boss around here you get the final say. When I was working on this, the title I had in mind was "Asperchu parodies", but that's just my suggestion. Have a look at it and tell me what you think. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 08:19, 17 May 2011 (PDT)
*I've seen it, it's pretty good, but not sure about the name, as they're "parodies" in the same way Sonichu is a "parody" (which is, not really). Come up with a better name and we might be able to do something. Perhaps if you post on the portal [[CWCki:General|here]] you could get some feedback. Nice work though, keep it up.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:25, 17 May 2011 (PDT)
*Thanks. I'll do that now. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:32, 20 May 2011 (PDT)
*Champthom ma boi, that message has been on the community portal for four days and I don't think anyone has noticed it. Do you want to come up with an article name yourself? Only I want to get this page up so I can start using my sandbox for other purposes. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:16, 24 May 2011 (PDT)
*Thanks again. Tell me when you have a title for the page. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 07:15, 27 May 2011 (PDT)

Yo Champ! It's been nearly a month now. Have you got a title for me yet? I spent quite a while on that article and I want to see it up soon. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 09:33, 14 June 2011 (PDT)
*Holy crap, thanks for reminding me dude. Alec's suggestion is kinda lame, too wordy - "Alternate interpretations of Sonichu characters" (I think he might have misunderstood me), I think "Asperchu parodies" might work. Man, I am awful at procrastination, lol. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:05, 14 June 2011 (PDT)
*It's up now, and looking good. Thanks for sorting everything out Champ. Now to get to work on another merged page about Chris's shitty transformers. This will take a while. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 08:07, 17 June 2011 (PDT)
*Oh, and while I'm here, a couple of weeks ago I decided to rewrite the [[Sonichu (game)]] page. I only just realised after looking back on it that I subconsciously created another merged page while doing so. I condensed [[Pokémon: Lightning Version]], [[Sonichu Adventure]] and [[Sonichu Advance]] into that one page. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but take a look at it and fix it as you see fit. I didn't even know until now that I did that. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 08:17, 17 June 2011 (PDT)

==RE:==
Don't worry about it. I'm just sorry I wasn't online to see it sooner. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 08:31, 26 May 2011 (PDT)

Glad I was able to help since I missed the show. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:12, 26 May 2011 (PDT)

== I suck donkey balls ==
I was trying to upload a new version of [[:File:Prowl prower.jpg|this file]] and make it into [[:File:File-Prowl prower.jpg|this file]] so I could use it in an article. Somewhere down the line, I fucked up. The first one now displays the old image in file mode and the new image as a thumb on article pages, while the new one has a fucked up name that I think was automatically assigned when I tried to upload a new version of the other one. Please fix this for me? kthnx. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 14:50, 21 June 2011 (PDT)

== Check out this shit ==
I feel it's getting to the point where I'm just spamming with the ammount of times I keep asking you to look at a new article in my sandbox. Regardless, you said you wanted me to have a look at maybe rewriting the templates for the sagas and the like. I plan on doing so, along with a few other templates while I'm at it, but I am on my third sandbox already and I think making a fourth would be pushing it at this point. Even if I wasn't though, I think now would be a good time to show them to you because I am just about done. I'm awaiting Freecell's revisions for some of them, but he's taking a while and I'm sure whatever problems he would find, you would also. Anyway, here's [[User:Old meme/Sandbox|the first]]. It's a reworking of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]] page and it merges [[Prower]] and [[Armoraxe]] into it as well, so we have a page on the entire team instead of a few pages on some of them. The [[User:Old meme/Sandbox 2|second one]] is a rewrite of the [[Decepti-Clone]] article, which has a bad name anyway because Decepti-Clone is the name for evil robots in general, but the page is about S.A.V.s. In my revision, I merged the original page with [[Jerkop Punislav]] and [[Crackder]] so it's actually about Decepti-Clones in general rather than just one type. I would suggest the name of the actual title for this page be [[Decepti-Clones]] plural. Just sayin'. [[User:Old meme/Sandbox 3|Sandbox 3]] is just a rewrite of [[Sarah Hammer]], but I sandboxed it instead of just rewriting the article as normal because I also merged [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] into it, because she is literally a one panel character with no more importance at all. Anyway, I'm submitting all of these for approval, and I promise you that after this and the [[Sonichu (game)]] mergings are over, I'll stop merging so much shit and creating more work for you for a while. I'll take a break and work on those templates instead. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:21, 24 June 2011 (PDT)
*Dude, I have bad news for you - I am the world's worst procrastinator. I put off EVERYTHING until the last minute, so if I don't reply to your message right away, that's probably because I'm on the Internet dicking around. I also work at night and sleep during the day most of the week, so on those days I maybe get to check the CWCki for 10, 15 minutes and that's mostly to see if anyone has been vandalizing. Anyways, your articles - your first one, on the Samurai Pizza Bots is pretty alright. My only complaint is the tone, it's rather informal. Now mind you, I don't mind that tone sometimes and I think some articles get away with it but I know that some people prefer a more formal tone and I believe their argument has merit. I have the next few days off, I'll see what I can do to critque your article and give you some ways to improve it. Your Decepti-Clones article seems better than the one we have, but I'll give it another look, it has a lot of details from the comic that I need to refresh to see the context (the later comics I mostly skimmed because Chris stopped giving a shit at that point). I really need to wait on seeing the Sarah Hammer article, that is yours versus the one we have as I don't want to get the two confused. Like I said, I can critque your articles for you. You don't have to work on those templates or the saga stuff if you don't want to, I usually say that when people ask "Why don't we have x?" I say "Because you haven't made it yet!" You're obviously a very dedicated wiki editor which I like and I expect great things from you, just keep up the good work and bear with me.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:42, 24 June 2011 (PDT)
**I appreciate it Champ. I'm only on here a few days a week anyway, I figure while I am I may as well fix things up. No need to rush anything here, I can wait. There are plenty of other articles I could be working on that don't require the sandbox. Plus Freecell still needs to make his edits before this is moved to the main namespace. I'll take the formality thing into consideration and see if I can make the article a bit more serious when I do the spellchecking. And honestly, I do want to give the templates an overhaul. Some of them are laughably outdated compared to some of the articles using them. I think Dethchemist was actually working on some templates too, but I don't know if he still is or not. Either way, leave me a message on my talk page when you get around to reading the stuff, and I'll make the appropriate corrections. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 09:22, 24 June 2011 (PDT)
**Made some updates. Tell me what you think. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 08:56, 25 June 2011 (PDT)

==k==
Trying to do, but whenever I make an account it refuses the username/password combination and says I have no method of recovering it. I'll let it sit for a while and try again. Alternatively, I'll be in IRC if that's easier for you. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 09:16, 14 July 2011 (PDT)

== Champthom my homie ==
Wha's cracking y'all? I thought I'd drop by and remind you like always to look over my sandbox pages, already linked to above, because you said you would but then you did something else and forgot them. Not sayin' I blame y'all, but I'm here to remind you anyway, because you need reminding. They're merged pages for the transformers articles and one on Sarah Hammer fyi. Alright, that's it for now. I got things to do an' shit. Talk later, kay? --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 01:29, 15 July 2011 (PDT)

You know, if you don't have the time or don't want to do it, I could always add the new pages and create the redirects myself? --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 03:53, 26 July 2011 (PDT)
*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'M WORKIN' ON IT!]]. Seriously, I'll give it a look tonight or tomorrow.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:08, 26 July 2011 (PDT)
**Well, you said you would, so I can only assume you did. Was the page okay? Just give me a yes or no answer, and if it's a yes, I promise I'll do all the work and sort it out myself. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 05:49, 29 July 2011 (PDT)
:::*Here's what I say - just make the changes, if people don't like it they can change it back. RPOBLEM OSLVED.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:51, 29 July 2011 (PDT)
::::*KAY MAN. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 05:52, 29 July 2011 (PDT)

==New members==
I figured I'd let you know that a lot of people from /cwc/ have it in their head that the best course of action right now is to raid the CWCki in the name of the tomgirls. We're working on a similar plan right now but it needs to be taken one step at a time, not jumped into. So I'd keep an eye on any new members, just in case. It's possible they'll do something stupid. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 12:28, 22 July 2011 (PDT)
*Well main page templates have all been protected for the next week, that's usually what they target first. It's possible that new people are joining because there's new content, but I have considered the possibility of the attack, hence the protection. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:17, 22 July 2011 (PDT)

==Templates==
<nowiki>Yo. I've just been using {{subst:welcome}} instead of {{welcome}}. I'll switch to {{welcome}} if you want.</nowiki> --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 22:19, 22 July 2011 (PDT)

==Page Format==
I've done a couple page cleanups over the last few days, and I got to thinking about the common nit-picks I have. There's good info in the Help pages on how to format dates, when to pipe, etc., but there's no real place to go to see a model 'page layout.' I started a [[User:Dude/Guide_to_Style|formatting guide]] (improperly labeled 'style' guide, at the moment) as a subpage of my user page. Take a look, and feel free to use it as the nucleus for a new help page. --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 23:25, 24 July 2011 (PDT)
*Not bad, it's definitely something we could use. I would suggest looking up how Wikipedia does things, as that tends to be the standard for wikis (for instance, standard for pics are right aligned when possible). Pretty much I'd recommend fleshing it out with stuff from Wikipedia's article layout guide (remember, it's Creative Commons so you can pretty much copy paste it, ideally source it as well) and obviously adapt it to the CWCki's needs.

:To be honest, I came up with the "Sauces" thing since that's how most people who frequent this site talk - they'll say "sauce plz" HOWEVER if you and other people think it should be "References", I'm cool with that.

:Keep up the good work man.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:50, 25 July 2011 (PDT)

::HA! I thought if anybody would hate the ''sauces'' it would be you, man ;-) It doesn't really matter to me, though I prefer Refs. --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 18:51, 25 July 2011 (PDT)

==Just got your message==
I've been unwell for the past few days and still am. I'll leave IRC open if you're still wanting to talk, but I'm mostly going to be away from my computer so I may not be able to get back to you for a few hours. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 13:48, 27 July 2011 (PDT)

==I'm sorry to neg you..==
But can you please edit [[Template:Da Update|Da Update]] to include Liquid closing his YouTube account? I don't have permission to edit that template and I think this item is newsworthy, plus it might lead to Chris proclaiming victory on YouTube or something like that after seeing that his old foe's YouTube account is gone. -- [[User:NegaCWC]]
*I agree that it's newsworthy, though it's unlikely Chris gives enough of a fuck anymore. Liquid got what he wanted, Chris lost and moved on. It sounds like you're trying to use the CWCki to troll Chris though. There's a stigma against that, non? [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 22:45, 27 July 2011 (PDT)
**Yeah I know that the CWCki shouldn't be used as a trolling tool, I'm asking for it to be put on Da Update because I think it needs to be there regardless of Chris's possible reacion, even if we found out that Chris is dead by now I think it should be there. Sorry that I didn't sign my previous edit BTW. --[[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 00:25, 28 July 2011 (PDT)
::*I'm sorry but Da update is strictly for Chris related updates. Unless Chris manages to react to the account closing, it definitely has no place in da update. Besides, it leads to a slippery slope - one could argue then that we include any update any past troll of Chris does on their YouTube accounts and that would be silly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:00, 28 July 2011 (PDT)
:::*I don't really have an opinion either way, but I don't know if it would necessarily lead to stalking all Chris related youtube accounts. Liquid is a bit more important than other troll youtube accounts because that saga happened primarily via youtube. It might be a milestone we'd want to make note of. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 06:03, 28 July 2011 (PDT)
::::*But, was there an update when the Asperpedia was shut down? If so, then editing Da Update to include the closing of Liquid's account wouldn't be totally unprecedented. If not, then I agree, it's a slippery slope. [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 06:50, 28 July 2011 (PDT)
:::::*Remember though people, da update is essentially about Chris. People check it out to see what Chris is up to. Da update really shouldn't be what other trolls are up to, as people who are curious about the trolls themselves usually manage to find out about them themselves. I have no problem with this information being incorporated into the [[Liquid Chris]] page if it hasn't already, as obviously it's relevant. However, it's not da update worthy because it's not about Chris. While it won't necessarily lead to stalking other trolls, it will set a precedent for it. People will say "Oh, [[Vivian]] has started a side project, let's include that in the update" or "[[Jack Thaddeus]] posted something on some Internet forum, let's include that in da update." I'm careful when it comes to establishing precedents, which is why including Liquid's account closing would set a bad one.
::::::As I see it, people who want this in da update 1) want to troll Chris for it or 2) feel that we need to update da update because it's been too long. As many people will back me up on this, the CWCki isn't a way to troll Chris, that's to protect our asses if shit ever goes down. Even if we are to update it to troll Chris, I very, very, VERY much doubt he would care and I have sufficient knowledge of Chris to know this. Chris will probably have no clue who "Liquid Chris" is, and even if he realizes it's the "impostor" he'll just remind himself how he won the [[Singstar Challenge]] (at least, HE believes he did) and is therefore the TRUE and HONEST Christian Chandler, or at least the Christian Weston Chandler who was born Christopher. Second point, I don't think there's anything wrong with not updating da update. If nothing happens with Chris, so be it. Da update reflects what da update is and if there is no update, well, [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|tough cookies]]. Da update should not be cheapen by updating it for the sake of updating it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:21, 28 July 2011 (PDT)

==WHAT?!==
YOU MEAN YOU'VE [[Help:So, you've been banned...|BEEN ABLE TO BAN PEOPLE FOR GENERAL FAGGOTRY THIS WHOLE TIME]] AND YOU NEVER ONCE THOUGHT TO GET RID OF FAGGOTS LIKE ICONOCLAST?!

I've got to say Champ, I'm more than a little disapointed by this. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 07:52, 28 July 2011 (PDT)
*I don't ban people unless they've actually done something against the CWCki (i.e. vandalized it) or their presence is so disruptive to the CWCki that people are spending more resources trolling said person than editing the CWCki (like with 16BitAlex). "General faggotry" is more of an exception clause, because there's usually exceptions to the rules. I try to be fair and just with everyone when it comes to bannings, and I won't ban anyone who edits in good faith.
:Just chillax man.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:58, 28 July 2011 (PDT)
::But still, you missed so many great opportunities with this! The people we could have gotten rid of! The unnecessary drama we could have avoided! Alex was totally acceptable to ban! Yet you didn't do that until he requested it himself! You need to start being harsher with your punishments. Keep that pimp hand strong. Or at least give me a promotion so I can be harsh for you. I promise I won't go crazy and ban all the furfags. Or Clyde. Unless you want me to. Which you should seriously consider by the way. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 08:09, 28 July 2011 (PDT)

==T&T Page==

Hey, the protection on the T&T page is up. Could you revert the edits to the 22nd and lock it again? Just in case, it's best to keep the article static until this is all over. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 19:17, 29 July 2011 (PDT)

==Yo==
Hey, I saw you were on earlier and protected a page. If you're still online, jump on IRC real fast. Otherwise, I'll look for you another time. --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 21:02, 29 July 2011 (PDT)

==Chibbity Champthom==
I sent you a PM on PVCC but you're here more so hit me up homedog. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 07:28, 6 August 2011 (PDT)

==RE: Ivy's age==
I'm a little confused about Ivy's date of birth. Is 1992 the year in which the actual culprit behind Ivy was born or is it Ivy's year of birth according to what Chris was told? If it's only the former than I'm not sure it should be listed as the date of birth in her article. After all if I remember correctly you're the one who said that articles on trollsonas should always describe the events as Chris perceives them rather than explain what really happened (who was really behind every trollsona and so on). - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 11:13, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

== Standardising Template:PublicSauce ==

Champthom, can you rename [[Template:PublicSauce]] to "Template:PublicSource"? Now that the [[Template:Cite]] template has been changed to display [''citation needed''] instead of [''sauce needed''], shouldn't [''public sauce needed''] likewise be changed to read [''public source needed'']?

I'm going to go ahead and change the template to do just that, but I cannot rename the template. By renaming the template, it will further standardise naming conventions in the CWCki as well as be consistent with the template's output. Renaming shouldn't cause any problems regarding coding in other pages since no pages currently use this template. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 16:30, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

Template:Cite

2011-09-03T23:15:26Z

BrianBash: updating useage notes to reflect earlier changes to this template

[''[[CWCki:Citation needed|citation needed]]'']<includeonly>[[Category:Articles needing citations]]</includeonly><noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is an inline template used to identify questionable claims that lack a citation to a reliable source. When used, the page displays "citation needed" in superscript next to the sentence. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<pre>Chris finally lost his virginity to Vanessa Hudgens on February 30, 2008.{{Cite}}</pre>'''

- Displays:Chris finally lost his virginity to Vanessa Hudgens on February 30, 2008.{{Cite}}
}}
[[Category: Inline templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Cole Smithey

2011-08-28T07:15:51Z

BrianBash: Undo revision 145596 by DarthNiggo (talk) This has everything to do with Chris; it sheds light on what the Chandlers are like as parents

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail #1]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Ron Coleman Yeatts
[[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son, and one of the successful escapees from the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
Cole isn't on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his stepfather [[Jerry]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios." [[Bob]] isn't exactly a role model either, as he worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref>

Barbara lied about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to Jack Dale Smithey, Cole's alleged father, but rather to Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself.<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]],<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being his trip to Ohio to save "[[Julie]]").

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. When Chris's [[nudes]] were sent from his e-mail in [[September 2008]], Cole replied with "DO NOT CONTACT ME BY E-MAIL AGAIN."

'''tl;dr:''' Barbara is a whore and Chris doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself.

===Cole in the comics===
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Personal success==
Cole resided in California for 16 years and has been in New York since around [[1996]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 1]]</ref> Cole lives with his wife Katherine, has been called "the smartest film critic in the world,"<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]</ref> and plays guitar in a jazz band.<ref name="email07-03-06p3">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 3]]</ref>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

User talk:Eamoo

2011-08-26T19:13:48Z

BrianBash: /* Barbara Chandler and Snorlax pix */ new section

Welcome to the CWCki!-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:58, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
*Great work on the Christory template! [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 14:33, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

== ''Tempest'' quote ==

Where was it, and what is the actual Shakespeare quote for comparison? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 22:41, 14 August 2010 (PDT)

I've added it to the page. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 05:24, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

== Are you the writer of CWCville 1984? ==

Because if you're not, I don't think the original author would appreciate the corrections, even if they are legitimate grammar/usage fixes. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 14:54, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

== Wtf is this? ==

'' Release date for Pokémon Black and White in Japan.'' Irrelevant shit shouldn't be in the Cwchronology. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]]

== You deserve an award ==

For your diligent wikification and editing. Now who gives out these things? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:46, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== TRUE and HONEST ==

Why are you unilaterally de-capitalizing all instances of this? It's already an established convention. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 20:47, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

Your grammar-nazi-ing is going a bit too far, I say. You're starting to edit written quotes, when the policy is that they remain as Chris wrote them, spelling/grammar errors and all! --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 12:57, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
*Indeeed. Keep this up and I'm afraid I'll have to ban you for fucking up quotes and established conventions.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:54, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
:*That is, I'm afraid I'll have to ban you, Eamoo, not SeventhBase.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:54, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
::I'd like to see TRUE and HONEST restored to their former glory. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:25, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
IT IS UNDONE [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 19:21, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

</choose><choose><option weight=95></option><option weight=5>XXXXXXXXXXXXXX </option>

== I'm Snuffleupagus! ==

''[walks into Eamoo's bedroom and slobbers on him while flailing trunk about and making gargling noises]'' AAARRRGGGHHH! AAARRRGGGHHH! AAARRRGGGHHH! AAARRRGGGHHH! --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 06:39, 3 February 2011 (PST)
:Oh look, it's this shit again. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 06:41, 3 February 2011 (PST)
That's right, Freecell! I will squeeze your life out of you with my snuffle! --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 06:52, 3 February 2011 (PST)

== Just a message to say ==
Thanks for the suggestion, but in future send page title suggestions to Champ, not me. I wrote the page, but he's still the boss around here.

Also Snuffleupagus is a faggot. I know it's obvious, but seeing his message on your page, I thought it beared repeating. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 07:11, 27 May 2011 (PDT)

== Abuse of {{tl|rename}} ==

So, standard convention is to name video articles after the true and honest video name Chris gave it on YouTube. Exceptions to this are when several videos can be grouped up in to one article (like with [[Calling Out]]) or when two videos have the exact same name (rarely happens with numbered video titles, as they're sequential). It would be appreciated if you could stop adding the rename tag to so many video articles. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 04:32, 8 August 2011 (PDT)

But lots of video article are renames - [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]], [[Greene County Conspiracy]], [[Cwcsicle]], [[War Paint Video]]. just think descriptive names are better. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 08:21, 8 August 2011 (PDT)
:Like I said, we have exceptions - but the policy is to name the articles as per Chris's video name. Usual exceptions include instances of grouping - as per my example above & [[Cwcsicle]], when a video has a long name ([[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]), or when videos have names that are the same or very similar ([[War Paint Video]]). [[Greene County Conspiracy]] actually breaks policy for some reason - but I am not one to judge the actual significance of that video - so it may fall under that reason. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 09:15, 8 August 2011 (PDT)

Fair enough. Maybe the greene county page should be changed back, and I think [[51 50]] should go under that title. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 10:32, 8 August 2011 (PDT)

== Barbara Chandler and Snorlax pix ==

Did Chris really do the [[:File:Barb.PNG|Snorlax pic]] you added to the [[Barbara Chandler#Cole and his possible fathers|Barbara Chandler]] page? If so, I'll change the categorisation of the image file and the caption on that page should probably be changed as well. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 12:13, 26 August 2011 (PDT)

List of toys

2011-08-26T18:48:08Z

BrianBash: /* Exo-Force */ fixed table

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Quality}}
[[Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|thumb|400px|CWC's main use of plastic crap is either decorating his [[room]] with it [[sex toys|or shoving it up his ass]].]]

Chris has accumulated a grand number of '''toys''' over the course of his life, most of which are displayed in [[Chris's room|his room]]; this page lists them. Chris has claimed that he is holding on to them for his [[Reginald Chandler|future]] [[Daughter|children]].<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 4]]</ref>

==[[Lego]]==

===Alpha Team===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6776-1'' Ogel Control Center
|$50
|}

===City/Town===
{| class="wikitable"
|''7892'' Hospital
|$50
|-
|''6337-1'' Fast Track Finish
|$40
|-
|''6517'' Water Jet
|$3
|-
|''7240-1'' Fire Station
|$30
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$123'''
|}

===Exo-Force===
[[Image:Exo-wallpaper-Humans.jpg|thumb|Exo-Force was created to attract basement dwelling [[anime]] freaks to Lego which made it the perfect theme for Chris ]]
{| class="wikitable"
|''7700'' Stealth Hunter
|$15
|-
|''7701'' Grand Titan
|$15
|-
|''7712-1'' Supernova
|$20
|-
|''7703'' Fire Vulture
|$15
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$65'''
|}

===Make and Create===
{| class="wikitable"
|''4881-1'' Robo Platoon
|$10
|-
|''4097-1'' Mini Robots
|$10
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$20'''
|}

===Ninja===
The Flying Ninja Fortress was a fortress for flying ninjas, not a fortress that flew.
{| class="wikitable"
|''6093'' Flying Ninja Fortress
|$90
|}

===Space===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6949'' Robo-Guardian
|$36
|-
|''6975-1'' Alien Avenger
|$60
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|$96
|}

===Spider-Man===
{| class="wikitable"
|''4856-1'' Doc Ock's Hideout
|$50
|}

===Star Wars===
{| class="wikitable"
|''7146'' Tie Fighters (two purchased)
|$40 ''($20 each)''
|-
|''7106-1'' Droid Escape
|$6
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$46'''
|}

===Western===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6755'' [[jerkop|Sheriff's]] Lock-Up
|$25
|}

===Total===
Assuming recommended retail prices (RRP) the total comes to at least:
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Total'''
|$515
|}

==[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]==

===Plush===

Great Eastern Sonic plush

Great Eastern Knuckles plush

===Figures===

Jazwares Tails

ReSaurus Sonic

ReSaurus Knuckles

ReSaurus Tails

ReSaurus Big the Cat

ReSaurus Rose

Toy Island Sonic Space Fighter

Toy Island Dr Eggman

Toy Island Sonic

Toy Island Shadow

==[[Transformers]]==
'''Assuming highest prices.'''

===Transformers Generation One===
[[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] (seen in "CWC is Angry"). Note: this is the Japanese reissue edition. Probably $75-$125 from an online retailer.
{| class="wikitable"
|[[Megatron pistol|Megatron]]
|$100 (median)
|}

===Transformers Generation Two===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime
|$30 (at least)
|}
Optimus Prime ($30 at initial retail, probably more if Chris bought it from the secondary market)

===Transformers Beast Wars===
{| class="wikitable"
|Transmetal Optimus Primal
|$20 ($15 and 20)
|}
===Transformers Beast Machines===
{| class="wikitable"
|Scavenger
|$10 ($7 and 10)
|}

===Transformers Armada===
{| class="wikitable"
|Jetfire w/ Comettor
|$30 ($25-30)
|-
|Megatron w/ Leader-1
|$30 ($25-30)
|-
|Optimus Prime w/ Sparkplug
|$50
|-
|Overload w/ Rollout
|$30
|-
|Sideways w/ Rook and Crosswise
|$12 ($10-12)
|-
|Unicron w/ Dead End
|$50
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''212'''
|}

===Transformers Cybertron===
{| class="wikitable"
|Evac
|$30 ''($25-30)''
|-
|Cybertron Defense Hot Shot
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Hot Shot
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Jetfire
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Megatron ($40-50)
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|-
|Overhaul
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Override
|$12 ''($10-$12'')
|-
|Primus
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|-
|Red Alert
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Scourge
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Sideways
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Soundwave
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Thunderclash
|$8 ''($6-8)''
|-
|Unicron
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Vector Prime
|$30 ''($25-30)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''323'''
|}

===Transformers (2007 Movie)===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|}

===Transformers Dark of the Moon===

{| class="wikitable"
|[[Slow-in-the-minds|Skids]]
|$12 ''($10-12)''
|-
|[[Chris and race|Mudflap]]
|$12 ''($10-12)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$24'''
|}

===Anniversary Editions===
{| class="wikitable"
|20th Anniversary Optimus Prime
|($30-$75 at retail, depending on when Chris bought it)
|}
===Transformers Alternators===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime (Ford pickup truck
|$25 ''($20-25 at retail)''
|}

===Transformers Heroes of Cybertron===
{| class="wikitable"
|Bumblebee
|$5 ''($3-5)''
|}

==Total==
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Optimus Prime '''
|'''$874 (at least)'''
|}

==[[My Little Pony]]==
My Little Pony is popular with little girls and men worldwide. Sadly, not even the poor ponies are exempt from entering Chris' twisted world. In italiacs are their new identities.
{| class="wikitable"
|Cutie Keen Bean
|$10'
|-
|Exclusive Lolligiggle (Educait)
|$20
|-
|Favorite Friends Rarity the Unicorn Pony Figure (Johnlamence -Cyber Warrior-)
|$20
|-
|Cutie Cascade Fairy Dust Pony (Camo-Flage, Mimmbo Boruto and Squall Metal Alchemest)
|$60 ''($20 each, three purchased)''
|-
|Crystal Princess Pretty Patterns Fancy (Ty Game)
|$20
|-
|Dress-Up Daywear Wing Wishes with Toola-Roola & Meadowbrook Pony<ref>(He took Toola-Roola's Antennae and put them on Meadowbrook. Toola-Roola's whereabouts are unknown)</ref>
|$50
|-
|Sweetberry Diva Pose (BoottomBeck)
|$20
|-
|Sweet Breeze Pose (Honeysumerah and Modest Manna)
|$40 ''($20 each, two purchased)''
|-
|Seaspray Pose (Cheroki-Chan)
|$20
|-
|Beachberry Pose (Linnhadey and Federico)
|$40 ''($20 each, two purchased)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$300'''
|}

==[[Power Rangers]]==
{| class="wikitable"
|Wild Force Predazord
|$50
|}

==Grand Total==
And this isnt even counting all the crap we can't see or unable to catalogue....
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Grand Total'''
|'''$1739
|}

==References==
<references/>

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]

Hair

2011-08-26T18:45:24Z

BrianBash: Cole probably shaved his head; most men with bald spots do that intentionally.

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

Already in atrocious physical condition for someone his age, Chris's baldness has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedophile]] and/or fat, old lesbian. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh... I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like by next December.]]

When confronted in the [[Mailbag]] ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.

[[File:TG9.jpg|thumb|Chris with longer hair]]

In his [[Tomgirl Pictures|cross-dressing photos]], Chris has let his hair grow long in order to imitate a woman's hair. His hairline still appears to be receding, as he has no bangs or volume to his hair. It simply appears wiry and stringy.

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Troll|or a dude pretending to be one]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big [[China|C]] himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of [http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode06/usc_sec_06_00001203----000-.html United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7)] did not cause any national or international incidents.

While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the Spanish side has [[Racism|Sonichu in a sombrero]] (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZED SOMBREROS).

===Gallery of hair===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[HairDifference]]

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Mailbag 31

2011-08-26T18:42:35Z

BrianBash: /* Fqx news */ removed wikipedia links and added internal CWCki links

'''Mailbag 31''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] 31 [[December 2009]]. On [[January 2010|1 January 2010]], Chris answered the questions (which require far less [[Stress|reading]]) but not the letters. Shortly after, CWCipedia was issued cease and desist letters from both [[11042009_51_50|Coca]]-[[April_16_Fetish_Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|cola]] and [[Family Guy|20th Century Fox]] for Chris's unauthorized placement of ads that suggested the Coke and the movie Avatar endorsed his [[Homos|bigoted]] views.

Chris answered the letters on 4 January. Compared to most other [[Mailbag|mailbags]], his answers were slightly more in-depth and ''vastly'' more disturbing. The most outlandish response was that he intends to make good on his [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|promise to film his first time]], even if his [[sweetheart]] disagrees. Chris also stated that he would rather let an innocent man die than have [[Homos|gay sex]], implied that he expects [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] to personally inform him whenever he's in error, and told us all that [[Magi-Chan]] psychically watches everybody in [[CWCville]] have sex, so anybody doing it wrong can be arrested. Worst of all, he states that the punishment to any sort of sexual violation, including child rape, is a $500 fine! Asperchu makes a special guest appearance, which goes a long way to make the whole ordeal more bearable.

==Answered==
===If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Hi Chris!

I just wanted to let you know that my kids and I are HUGE fans of your comic. I read a page to them every night before their bedtime.

But in [[mailbag 23]] you stated that it would be ok for kids to watch adult things with parental supervision. Does this mean that it would be ok for them to watch pornography with me? It's not like I'd be touching them or molesting them. I also wouldn't be jerking off- I just like watching girls & guys get it on with each other.

I think it'd be pretty educational for them. They'd get to know where babies come from and I'd get to watch my porn without worrying about them walking in- they'd already be there! As long as I explain it to them, it's ok- right?

I started doing this already and my kids haven't complained or anything! I've told all of my fellow fathers about your advice and they've already started doing it as well!

Thanks Chris!!

Mike}}
{{EmailReply|WOAH!!! Slow Down There. I was talking in reference to shows that are Rated TV-14 at the most; I did not mean to include XXX Pornography, or most shows that are Rated TV-MA. Unless they are 16 or 17 years or older, then it would be most Appropriately Educational. I was speaking, of course, in reference to the show, Family Guy, which is Rated TV-14 in the response to past letters. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Genuinely hand-drawn===
{{Email|From: Kevin Sevakis <kerosenedreams77@gmail.com>
Hey, CWC.
If you put the words of the comic on the computer, why don't you just color the comic on the computer, too?}}
{{EmailReply|Then it would not be Genuinely Hand-Drawn or Hand-Colored; few examples of Fan Art that were Obviously Computer-Drawn are not as good as Original Hand-Drawn/Colored creations.}}

===Blake has a very deep individual===
{{Email|From: kawaiinamine32@aol.com

Good day, Mr. Chandler. I have a few questions for you... 1) Seeing one of your answers from [[Mailbag 19]], I have to ask, Do you really think of or see people with Asperger's Syndrome as "Competing Retards"? 2) What the hell is up with [[Blake|Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake]]!? (He started out as a badass, now he's just pathetic...) 3) Is Sonichu really aimed towards children? (from all the pages I've read, it would be, at least TV MA...too mature for children.)}}
{{EmailReply|Competing, yes; Retards, no. He is not pathetic; he has a very deep individual. Yes, it is meant to be TV-Y7 FOR CHILDREN.}}

===Chris and web design===
{{Email|From: alphard@conexao-br.net

Hey, CWC.

I've heard that you're pretty good with HTML, so...
 What do you think about HTML5 and CSS3?
 Do you often use XHTML?
 And do you follow the W3C specifications correctly? }}
{{EmailReply|I only know basic HTML; the new stuff is NEW to me.}}

===Magi-Chan knows when you fuck===
{{Email|From: hyle.19@gmail.com

Dear Chris,

Why are homosexual women morally superior to homosexual men? If it is because of the book of Leviticus, would you also support the exile of a couple who have sexual relations while the woman is menstruating? (Leviticus 20:18) Does [[Cwcville]] have sex laws? How are these laws enforced?

Yours, Caitlin}}
{{EmailReply|Cwcville has sex laws; the age of consent is 18, and NO GAY SEX IS ALLOWED WHATSOEVER. These laws are enforced by constant psychic-surveillance by Magi-Chan Sonichu. Should anyone go against these laws, Magi-Chan would know, inform the Police, arrest the individuals, tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service to ANY Sexual Violations; over-18 having sex with under-18, and Any homosexual relations. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Lies and damned lies===
{{Email|From: Zoie Klaus <gatsbysdeaddream@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

Why don't you ever offer well-thought out answers to the questions you are asked? It seems that people put a lot of effort into their questions, but you only spend a minute (or less) answering each. Do you really think that's fair to your fans? It's not like you're very busy or anything, or have thousands of questions to answer. Don't you think you owe your fans a little bit more?

-Zoie}}
{{EmailReply|I give each letter over 2 minutes of reading, re-reading and thought. Should a letter perplex me heavily, I would give an acceptable reply, granted it being short. But mostly, I go detailed.}}

===In which Chris crosses yet another line===
{{Email|From: Frank Marks <marksizm15@yahoo.com>

What if the girl(or guy) you want to take your virginity doesn't want to be videotaped? Not everyone goes for that. And you seem to be more concerned with proving that you're straight than the pleasure you would get from having sex. And you didn't answer that one guy's question about asexual people.

Frank Marks}}
{{EmailReply|I would use Hidden Cameras and blur out her face. It is very important to me, because I am SICK and TIRED of the Wrongest Mislabelings those damn people dare refer to me and my comics and characters. WE ARE STRAIGHT!!!! I have no objections with asexual, but I do feel pity for those individuals.}}
''The earlier question about asexuality can be found [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|here]]. Chris altered it the night these answers went up, copy-pasting the answer found here.''

===Fqx news===
{{Email|From: Jorge Lopez <fuzziwuzzi80@yahoo.com>
In [[Mailbag 28]], you say you respected Bush because "he made some good decisions." Please elaborate on this. What decisions did he make that you thought were good (and why were they good, in your opinion)?}}
{{EmailReply|His Tax Cut program was a good idea; [[Monthly tugboat|more money for us locals]]. His No Child Left Behind plan was good too; no child left [[Honor roll|Uneducated]]. And he [[Chris and English|helped the Medicare very well]]. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Return of the king===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Stephen King|Stephen King]] <king.stephen@windowslive.com>
I never wrote a novel called Vertigo. I did write the other novels you mentioned, though. But those were a long time ago. I used to be famous once - not anymore though. My novels don't sell a tenth of the copies they used to. Can't you see that I am desperate? I used to drink and do drugs when I couldn't write. This helped me in the 80s, but I won't do that anymore. I feel like my head is going blank, like there's an empty area where my creativity used to be.

Even in the best of times, I was never the greatest writer in the world. You are not the best either. But AT LEAST you have the passion and raw potential. And creativity. I just... don't seem to have that anymore. Funny. I never knew it was there until it was gone. Ideas just used to come to me, you know? Now, no matter how hard I try... nothing. Nothing comes out. I stare at the blank screen for HOURS, and I don't get a single idea. I spend more and more time on the internet. One day, I stumbled upon your site. It was something new and refreshing. I saw that you upload a new page EVERY DAY. I was amazed at such efficiency. You don't know how lucky you are to have so many ideas.

I asked you for help, but you gave me skepticism. I shouldn't be surprised though. This has happened to me before. Some time ago, I went into a book store in Australia unannounced, and started signing some of my books. The people there thought I was a VANDAL.

Here's a link on the incident: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/08/16/2006725.htm

I hope you see that I am the true and honest (as you say) Stephen King.

God bless, and I wish you all the best.

Stephen Edwin King.}}
''Chris added a reply template to this letter, but failed to actually answer it.''

===Patti's tortured soul persists===
{{Email|From: takemybythehand2@aol.com

So is [[Patti]] a ghost or a zombie in the comic? because she's dead, yet she's still talking to people, so is she a ghost or zombie?}}
{{EmailReply|She is Neither; she is alive and well in Cwcville, VA.}}

===Chris tackles the hard issues===
{{Email|From: jackleapps@aol.com

What's your stance on the immigration issues in America?}}
{{EmailReply|We are all immigrants from when the settlers first came into what would be the United States of America; I feel the issues are unrequited stressors that we simply do not need at all to fret over.}}
==Rejected Mailbag==
===In which Chris hypothetically murders someone===
{{Email|From: J D <jdrexcess@gmail.com>

Hi Chris, I'm a big fan of your work, and I share your views on homosexuality-- a topic which seems to pop up frequently in the mailbag.

A friend of mine recently posed me a moral question, which I thought was pretty interesting: If you could save the life of a person you didn't know by having gay sex, would you do it? It's an interesting moral dilemma. Personally, I couldn't think of anything more repulsive in the world than having gay sex, but to save the life of a random person, I might actually do it. But I haven't quite made up my mind. How would you respond to this question? Would you have gay sex to save someone's life? Of course, this is a hypothetical situation and would probably never happen in real life, but I'm curious as to how you'd deal with it?

JD}}
{{EmailReply|UGH!!! I would find a way to Trick the other and work around to save the person. NO GAY SEX!!!!!!!!!}}

===Chris does not atone===
{{Email|From: creampie4sonichu@aol.com

hello mr chandler my is [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VII|rufus shinra]] and me and me fellow gay associates find sonicu to be a BIG testament to the gay community. We just love the way you lace each of your comics with gay tributes and etc. One thing that we really love is how you protray [[sonichu]] as a man struggling with his sexuality. On the outside he is "happily" married to [[rosechu]] but on the inside he is ready to come out. We have already figure out sonichus secret gay lover is [[Magi-Chan|magichan]] sonichu i mean magichan is purple (one of us gays most fabolous colors) he has no woman and he is mysterious. we can wait till you make sonichu and magichan and offical couple on your pages. Oh yeah me and my friend would like to invite you and another person to our gay club where we are going to have a sonichu theme party. We are going to pay your way here cause it would be a honor to have the man who made sonichu to be here. Who knows you might just find your significant other at this party. Once again thanks for makin sonichu for us gays to enjoy. }}
{{EmailReply|YOU ARE IN MAJOR ERROR!!! SONICHU IS STRAIGHT!!! AND MY COMIC SERIES IS A STRAIGHT COMIC SERIES!!! I DO NOT ATONE TO YOUR LETTER AND YOUR MISTAKEN EMOTIONS AT ALL!!!
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:08, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===God and Jesus have not yet told Chris to give it a rest===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Aliens (film)|Trevor Wierzbowski]] <silentbughunters@yahoo.co.uk>

What the hell is with the whole idea of brainwashing homosexuals into being straight? It isn't a choice for them, it's not like they woke up one morning and said "You know what? I feel like bumming a fellow male today and see if I like it!" It's who they are and they can't help that! The whole idea of forcing them into something they are not is just wrong! It would be like if someone rounded up everyone who had any form of autism and put them into a mental institution. What gives you the right to change other people into something they aren't?

The hell is wrong with you?

-Trevor

P.S. You didn't bother answering the part of my previous email which asked you what you would think [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] would think of your death threat to [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].}}{{EmailReply|I do not personally have the right, but I highly encourage Other People who are able to do that to do that to their fullest power. I have received no opinion on that video from God or Jesus as far as I know.}}

===Asperchu is the shit===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>

Christian,

Thank you for accepting myself as a fellow Titan in the ranks of comic drawing! It is good to know that I have reached the top rank. I am currently in talks with the fellows on the Cartoon Network to possibly do a series of ASPERCHU-based short cartoons (3-5 minutes) that will air during their Adult Swim Broadcast; telling them that you have given me the Blessing as a Professional Artist will speed up the talks most certainly. Thank you as well for providing such a detailed answer to my question. I confess that You have confused me greatly. You say several things that make me wonder what it is you mean, and I would like if you can clarify.

For example, You say the sentence "[[Aspergers]] supposed being similar to Autism, which although I have accepted that, I still disagree heavily on it being even ASSOCIATED with Autism as a type. Aspergers is NOT a Type Of Autism Whatsoever." Now, in the first part of that sentence, you say that you have accepted that the Aspergers is similar to the Autism, but in the next several words you say that Aspergers is NOT related to Autism. Your sentence has two parts, which each contradict the other.

In another part of your response, You say that "I accept no relation between [Asperchu] and my works and characters, and with that I stand behind my statement of and labeling of Asperchu as a Parody." Now, this confuses me because a parody by definition is RELATED to its parent work, as parody is a deliberate imitation of the work on which it is based, yet you say that my ASPERCHU is not at all related to your Sonichu. That is true - My ASPERCHU is in fact my own ORIGINAL creation and not in any way related to your Sonichu. But then only several words after admitting this, you say that you stand behind your belief that ASPERCHU is a parody of Sonichu. I do believe that perhaps you do not have the good understanding of just what a Parody really is, and my attempt to show you through drawing an actual parody page has failed.

Please clarify both of these statements, Christian, as as they are now it seems you are trying to have two outcomes that are the Mutually Exclusive be true in each one of them, which of course is not possible. Either Aspergers is related to Autism or it is not (IT IS), and Either ASPERCHU is a Parody of Sonichu or it's not (it is NOT).

Also, I do have one last point to query about. You remark that I have made ASPERCHU into a "blatant homosexual male with such drawings of such dictation". I am confused by this, as I have NEVER drawn ASPERCHU to be making any dictations (by which I mean speaking, as that is the definition of the word) about being a homosexual; in fact throughout the Issues of the Comic he has pursued several GAL-PALS to make into a SWEETHEART, which is the heterosexual thing to be doing. In fact, you should read the conclusion of the latest Issue, as he does in fact acquire a sweetheart, the wonderful, caring, sweetest Dixie Chu. Perhaps your critical eye sees something in my Creation that I Myself did not notice putting in there, but to me ASPERCHU has always been a beacon of Heterosexual Virility and Pride. Conversely, you have yourself drawn Sonichu as being of the Homogay persuasion quite frequently, such as whenever Sonichu has intimations with his Boyfriend Rosechu, and also the Most Blatant Example is when you drew that Graphically Hardcore honeymoon comic where you had Sonichu turn blue and make sweet passionate love to that redheaded fellow.

So please, be so kind as to explain these quandaries to a wondering mind such as mine.

Your Protege and Bestest Joy-Boy,

Alec Benson Leary}}
[[Image:AsperchuNoHomo.JPG|thumb|The drawing Chris refers to.]]
{{EmailReply|I have NEVER given you such an Outrageous Blessing to work with Adult Swim. DO NOT DO IT, PERIOD! I was saying that the two, Autism and Aspergers, have Similar Characteristics, but the two are NOT Linked to each other At All and Whatsoever. By the Relation link comment, I meant that I wanted nothing to do with Asperchu. And IT IS A GOD DAMN PARODY; You draw a Look-Alike Sonichu Character with a Look-Alike Sonichu Medallion, and you DRAW your character with a Striped Shirt like the one I draw myself in often, and you draw him with FATTNESS and MANBOOBS!!!! I FIND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT OFFENSIVE AS THEY ARE MOCKERIES TO MY OWN PERSON AND CHARACTERS. AND What about THIS DRAWING?

YOU Personally Submitted this drawing, which the original letter FROM YOU is in the [[Rejected Mailbag#Parodies|Parodies]] Mailbag, and EVERYTHING WITHIN THIS GOD DAMN DRAWING ONLY MAKES YOUR ASPERCHU A GOD DAMN BLATANT HOMOSEXUAL.

You are STILL SO GOD DAMN HOMOSEXUALLY STUPID!!!

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

{{Mailbag}}

Template:Cite

2011-08-26T18:15:58Z

BrianBash: see talk for expl.

[''[[CWCki:Citation needed|reference needed]]'']<includeonly>[[Category:Articles needing citations]]</includeonly><noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is an inline template used to identify questionable claims that lack a citation to a reliable source. When used, the page displays "reference needed" in superscript next to the sentence. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<pre>Chris finally lost his virginity to Vanessa Hudgens on February 30, 2008.{{Cite}}</pre>'''

- Displays:Chris finally lost his virginity to Vanessa Hudgens on February 30, 2008.{{Cite}}
}}
[[Category: Inline templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Template talk:Cite

2011-08-26T18:12:03Z

BrianBash:

I suck cock. {{Template:Cite}}--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:52, 27 January 2009 (CET)

I think we should change "sauce needed" to either "reference needed" (my preference) or "citation needed" (this may be too Wikipedo-like) to keep terminology consistent with the [[User:Dude/Guide_to_Style|style guide]] that [[User:Dude|Dude]] put together. Whenever I've been doing formatting and clean-ups of pages I've been changing "Sauces" to "References", so this template should, perhaps, reflect the preferred wording as well. I'll go ahead and change it with the knowledge that it can be changed back if this is unacceptable. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 11:12, 26 August 2011 (PDT)

Li'l Chris

2011-08-26T18:00:20Z

BrianBash: minor formatting and layout change

{{Stub}}
[[Image:LilChris.jpg|thumb|left|He's like the Velveteen Rabbit, except he wishes he were dead.]]
[[File:128747284554.png|thumb|right|Artist's rendition of [[Pregnant Act]].]]

'''Li'l Chris''' is [[Chris]]'s stuffed teddy bear. Chris created it at the "Create-A-Critter Workshop" after winning a gift certificate from a radio station, some time in his early 20's.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Likely not given much love or attention anymore, as Li'l Chris is an [[Niggo|individual of a darker color]]... or so we thought. As it turns out, he has lately been receiving ''all too much'' [[Pregnant Act|love and attention.]] Chris pointedly informs us that Li'l Chris is a female bear in [[Pregnant Act]], despite naming it after himself.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008]]
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category: Toys]]

Pregnant Act

2011-08-26T17:51:40Z

BrianBash: /* Video */ removed unnecessary image

[[File:JuniorMoviePoster.png|thumb|The upcoming blockbuster movie]]
[[File:128747284554.png|thumb|Artist's rendition]]
{{Quote|I'd love it if you made a video where you strapped some pillows under your shirt, or some other kind of weight, and showed yourself enduring the stress of pregnancy. It would be such a romantic gesture!|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref>}}
'''Pregnant Act''' is a creepy video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. The scene begins with what amounts to a [[Chris and reality|biologically impossible]] (on multiple levels) self-impregnation, Chris having received what is presumably [[Jackie]]'s egg cell, which he has fertilized with his own [[navy]]. The 'pregnancy' is given form by padding under Chris's shirt, including the [[Plush Breasts|plush breasts]].

Having effectively screwed himself, the next scene has Chris on his back, futilely attempting to right himself. Next comes the birthing scene, Chris now pointing the camera at his own crotch, and completing the birth by tossing a [[Li'l Chris|teddy bear]] onto his knees.

Finally, Chris has his stomach exposed, and the plush breasts stuffed down his [[sports bra]], while he forces the bear to suckle from his mildew-smelling, alkaline, bleach-smelling teat. The "newborn baby" then says its first words.

Chris removed the video the following day, and uploaded a newly recorded version shortly after.

The video was inspired by the supposed travails of [[Jackie]]'s aunt and uncle.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pregnant Act
| video = {{#ev:youtube|j7I2QBukJ4Y}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Male pregnancy}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}, {{Cwcbra|text}}, {{K-SwissShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2281]]
| next = [[Breast Cancer Awareness]]
}}

{{quote|I gave birth to a little beautiful baby... bear. And she's female!}}

=== Transcript ===

Oh my god... look at me! Huh! My girlfriend reverse-impregnated me! [[Honor Roll|The egg came out of her, and got into me!]] When we were having sexxxsss... oh my gosh. Goodness... [''camera fumbling then jump cut'']

Hm. Ugh. Goodness it's difficult to get up these days, with number one in the way. Oof! Little heavy made me fall down. Made me fall down! [''camera fumbling''] Maybe I try... and see if get up. Oop! I fell down again! [''mumbling''] Let me tell you... oof! Ahh! [''grunts, then jump cut'']

Oh my goodness, it's a big one! [''grunts, strains, and mumbles''] Must watch breath... one two three! [''gasps''] EEeeaaahhhhgh! Ah! [''throws a stuffed bear onto lap''] Well! Congratulate me! I gave birth to a little beautiful baby... bear. And she's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|female]]! Goodness... wow. [''jump cut'']

It's baby's open that's right little child. Eat all you want out of there. You eat all you want out of there. [''an electronic toy says "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"''] Ha! First w-her first words! [[30 August 2009|We]] love you too!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2281]]|nextlink=[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]}}

==The Remake==
Chris removed the original video on 19 October, and uploaded a new version of the video shortly after. Now with improved lighting, and a more detailed explanation.
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pregnant Act
| video = {{#ev:youtube|N9XfL8cRoo0}}
| stardate = 19 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Male pregnancy}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertRedGreenShirt|text}}, {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
| next = [[A Workout]]
}}

{{quote|Little baby's drinking my breast milk. Yeah you enjoy that don’t ya?}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:ChrisGivingBirth.jpg|thumb|Artist's summary of the video]]

Oh my goodness [[Chris and English|me look at this]] I had sex with my girlfriend and it backfired on me, can’t believe this. Her egg went inside my [[Duck|dick]] and now it’s- now it’s been in me for like 9 months.

Engh man I’m gonna get these stretch marks in a little while…ummgh dang. egh [[Obesity|laying down it’s hard for me to get back up again]]. Eeeaauuh, ung ung ung! Ehh! Well that was a major push, hope I didn’t lose it there! Erro here come- aaa ahhh think [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|it’s coming out the butt]]…think it’s coming out the - aaaaa one two three one two three. Engh! Engh! ENNGGHHHHHAAA!

Well will you look at that, I gave birth to a beautiful baby... girl bear! [''Chris has his shirt pulled up, exposing his muscle bra and pale fish-belly, the bear is pressed up against the plush breasts''] You- no- little baby's drinking my [[Navy|breast milk]]. Yeah you enjoy that don’t ya? My lil- my lil girl.

[''an electronic toy says "I-I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"''] Hmm...

==References==
<references/>
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]|nextlink=[[A Workout]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
{{videos}}

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18]]

Lars McNulty

2011-08-26T17:43:43Z

BrianBash: Redirected page to Jackie#Lars

#REDIRECT [[Jackie#Lars]]

User talk:4Macie

2011-08-22T05:16:06Z

BrianBash: /* Hair Quote */ new section

{{TOC limit}}
You're hot! --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 14:48, 9 January 2011 (PST)
:''[walks into Macie's bedroom, making furnace noises through snuffle]'' f-f-f-f-f ''[in a normal voice]'' Get out of bed! Get out of bed! Snuffle-uffle-snuffle-uffle... ''[pokes Macie with snuffle. Macie jumps out of bed and lands on her butt.]'' --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 19:44, 11 January 2011 (PST)

== You have a nice butt ==

''[slaps Macie on the butt]'' I love your butt...and your legs, too. --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 07:10, 3 February 2011 (PST)

== PS3 and PSN (answer if you dare) ==

Well, I guess the PS3 or PSN (I don't own either so it's one or the other) is going offline for maintenance for 12 or more hours... What will Chris do?!?! Will this be the day he comes back to the internet? [[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 11:27, 9 March 2011 (PST)
:it just means he can't play games online, which he rarely does anyway because he's scared of trolls or whatever. it's even been a few days since he logged into LBP to delete all the negative comments -[[User:Acousticvirgin|Acousticvirgin]] 12:03, 9 March 2011 (PST)
:: Ah, so it's the PSN then, not the whole PS3. Hmmm... Well I was kinda hoping something interesting was going to happen... that stinks. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 12:06, 9 March 2011 (PST)
::Thing is, Chris doesn't have a computer, so if he had no PS3 access he couldn't even record a video. The PSN being down is the best case. Still, I wouldn't hold your breath. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 12:39, 9 March 2011 (PST)
::: Ah man... you guys just keep bursting my bubble...Well just so you know, I think I will hold my breath. :P --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 14:26, 9 March 2011 (PST)

== Story ==

What it is? [[User:Maraakate|Maraakate]] 14:47, 10 August 2011 (PDT)

I guess I can always post the Mails here:

My troll friend first started off by calling Chris with and leaving a voicemail saying that she was a certain person and that this certain person was very angry that there was name dropping in youtube videos and that Chris said they had a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. She didn't want him to know any of her information so she was going to have him talk through her friend who didn't care/know who he was. The 2 voicemails were actually not that "scary". I don't have the audio but I have the scripts she used and there was really nothing mentioned except that "she" was angry for him name dropping and the whole "ex" thing and that Tito wasn't the one to eff everything up, he did that all by himself. (EDIT: The only "scary" thing that I've learned that could have been said was that telling someone on youtube that you'll do something to them if they don't give you money is illegal and that he could get in trouble for it. It was only slightly mentioned in the 2nd voicemail...really slightly.)
Here are the messages: (BTW: There's actually a few more that were sent before he responded, but they were through "Jenny"- (Censored)'s friend who was watching out for her. They basically said the same thing as these, just from a Friend's perspective.

8/07/11
Chris, it's (Censored). You need to reply to this because I am SO so so so angry with you and you won't answer your phone calls or voicemails. WE were never anything towards each other, and you calling me your ex and saying my name really piss me off. No apology is going to fix this. This is my friend's youtube page, I'm hesitant to give you ANY of my new information, so if you reply to this, Jenn (Jenny) is going to talk with you to see if you deserve my email or my new phone number. You will definitely not be getting my new address though (I've moved), so don't ask.‬

‪From,‬
‪(Censored) via Jenny's Youtube.‬

8/10/11
Re: We need to talk
‪To (Censored), ‬

‪I have received your voicemails; I rarely check my voicemails, because most of my incoming calls are from Trolls, or otherwise people who look to mock me, including "789chan". I have created a video retracting the statement in question, and I will upload it later today. I used the term loosely as in you are a girl, and you were a friend. I fully understand that we were only friends, even though the feelings were Not mutual between us. ‬

‪For your information, I currently have a woman Sweetheart, who gives me much appreciated respect, and the deep, sweet, romantic emotions between her and me Are Mutual and Truest. So, I do not require your contact information at all. AND She hugs and kisses me back. Unlike you, I feel that you were, and still are, an introverted, dismally depth, unable to give an emotionally truest damn about anyone who offers you care and/or affection, And your phrasings and voice tone are like that from the netherword; TOTALLY SPOOKY! To put it simply, you are easily comparable to Daria Morgandorfer, but WITHOUT the emotional maturing she was able to acquire later in her series. I would not go out with you even if I did not already have a Sweetest Girlfriend Sweetheart, and even if you did a complete emotional 180, becoming more like Stacy from the Fashion Club. ‬

‪After all that has happened, the feelings between you and I are FINALLY Mutual; we are old, elder spirits who feel little but spite for each other. ‬

‪I will admit that while we WERE friends, it WAS nice. But THIS is NOW. ‬

‪And so, Adios. ‬

‪Sincerely, ‬
‪Christian Weston Chandler.‬

:While I guess there's little reason to doubt you, do you have unaltered screencaps of the messages? I take it this was over youtube, and that would probably be enough for this to be considered legitimate, unless the rules have changed in my absence or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 18:17, 10 August 2011 (PDT)
::* LIke I've stated before, I suck at computer stuff (my troll friend is not much better...she let me into her youtube account so I could get this, I don't know how to get to the original she sent, but there is the script she wrote on I could try to get a copy of...Let's see if this works....I'm assuming I have to "upload" it straight to the CWCki right? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:06, 10 August 2011 (PDT)
::::*I did it...I think. [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Screen_shot_2011-08-10_at_10.01.05_PM.png] The "title" is really long and weird, hope you can change it if necessary. Feel free to censor anything that needs to be censored. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:13, 10 August 2011 (PDT)

== Hair Quote ==

Do you have a link to the source for that quote on your user page from Chris regarding his hair? I can't find it on the CWCki or on the [[Sonichu Girls]] forum. It'd be great to add a link (dump of posts, just like was done with the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Posts|TToV posts]]) to the [[hair]] and/or Sonichu Girls page. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 22:16, 21 August 2011 (PDT)

File talk:Lsl3.jpg

2011-08-22T05:07:48Z

BrianBash: nominated for deletion

==Nominated for Deletion==
This image serves no purpose and does not contribute anything of value to the CWCki. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 22:07, 21 August 2011 (PDT)

Joseph Herring

2011-08-19T05:43:29Z

BrianBash: DEFAULTSORT specifies how the page is indexed, in this case the surname is first

[[Image:0245-JosephWHerring98.jpg|thumb|left|Joe in real life...]]
[[Image:JoeHerring.jpg|right|thumb|right|120px|...and as Chris depicted him.]]

'''Joseph Herring''' (born December 14, 1979) was one of Chris's few male "buddies". They were water boys for the varsity basketball team at [[Manchester High School]]. Two years older, Joseph told Chris about his girlfriend. Chris consoled him when he got dumped.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> According to Chris, she gave him a "bum steer".<ref>[[:Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|DVD 99]]</ref>

Chris once rode in Joseph's jeep when the buses failed to turn up for one game.<ref>[[:Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|DVD 99]]</ref>

Joseph (later [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] as '''Joe Herr''') appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] only, during a time travel storyline. Like many teens, he is depicted in the comic with a bad case of acne. It was presumed that [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]] employs the use of the [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped]] and horribly disfigured students to clean jock straps and refill water bottles. A pimply character similar to Joe appears in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] with a girlfriend, both of whom are split apart due to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s quest to [[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal in Virginia]]. It is unknown if this throwaway character is intended to be Joe. The reasons given in the comic for his breakup with his girlfriend involve an incident in a restaurant involving "spilled soup" and "tossed salad."

When high res images from the [[DVD]] slideshow were released, it was discovered that Joseph was a fairly good-looking young man that Chris drew horribly disfigured to make himself look good in comparison.
{{-}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Herring, Joseph}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Sonee & Rosey

2011-08-18T04:53:25Z

BrianBash: /* Galleree */ this pedo shit doesn't need to be in here

[[Image:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|thumb|A '''Sonee''' and a '''Rosey'''. Note that Rosey's looking lustfully at Sonee. [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Seriously]].]]

'''Sonees''' and '''Roseys''' (sometimes '''Rosees'''<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>) are the pre-evolutionary forms of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Their colors usually correspond to their type. Most [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] in the comic started out as eggs that fell out of a [[rainbow]] and hatched as Sonees and Roseys.

==Appearance==

Technically, baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] never could have existed because they were transformed directly from a [[Pikachu]] and [[Raichu]], not Pichu, their pre-evolved form. It's generally understood that the "[[Hanky-panky|miracle of birth]]" does not provide Sonichu offspring with their shoes, bows, and skirts shown,<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_84 Issue 10 Page 84] Sandy is born nude.</ref> but there are contradictions.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9] Magi-chan is born with a vest.</ref> (Whatever the case, they automatically gain clothing upon evolution... but ''again'' there are more contradictions<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_7 Issue 3 Page 7] Angelica is born (and [[pedofork|raised]]) nude, but [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] has to give her shoes and a scrunchie at evolution.</ref>.) None of the [[Chaotic Combo]], or [[Silvana]], corresponds to the "Original Sonee and Rosey," but rather to the prismatic range of the [[rainbow]]. There's also a continuity in the attire with the "Sonichu/Rosechu" species; "Sonees" are stark-naked with shoes while "Roseys" wear dresses.

Although Chris has stated that he finds them cute, most ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Trolls|readers]] reacted in disgust when first confronted with these hideously repulsive creatures, and a large consensus has agreed that they are some of the most aggravating characters, their lack of comprehensible (relatively speaking; most ''Sonichu'' dialogue is at least in something that resembles [[English]]) speech being a major cause of anger. Their physical appearance is also a source of much disgust, as it is an overload of conventionally "cute" characteristics, done horribly wrong. They look like they're trying too hard to be cute, and it is sickening.

The appearance of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] in "[[A Sonichu Day]]" is a particularly grating one, as Chris gives them some of the most retarded dialogue he has ever given, in a despicably twee voice. Their appearance in "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]", where he uses them to represent younger versions of himself and [[Sarah Hammer]], is also horrific when you realize just how contrived and passive-aggressive it all is.

__NOTOC__
{{clear}}

==Sonee==
{{quote|Sonee is the pre-evolved form of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He is known to have a lot of [[spunk]] and speed. This cute [[Pokemon]] packs a lot of [[sex|action]].|Sonee ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He has a lot of spunk and speed, and is quite "cute". He is apparently born with shoes on. Like most other [[Pokémon]], they can only speak gibberish.

==Rosey==
[[Image:SchuComic4Page4.jpg|thumb|The birth of a '''Rosey''' [[Bubbles]], sans skirt.]]

{{quote|Rosey is the pre-evolved form of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. Her [[Pickle|cuteness]] always gets the [[Pedofork|awe of her enemies]]. When she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute.|[[:Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|Rosey Animal Crossing card]]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. According to Chris her so called "cuteness" always gets the awe of her enemies, and when she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute. This last feat is physically impossible, but never mind ''that'', because it offers an [[Pedofork|opportunity]] for panty-shots, that is if they had any, which in fact makes it even worse. It is implied that Roseys are born without any clothing, and shoes and skirts are purchased separately. The Rosey form of [[Bubbles]], for instance (see right), was never born with a skirt. The birth of [[Sandy]] appears to confirm this. <ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_84 Issue 10 Page 84]</ref>

==Biologee==

A cursory examination of the birthdates of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] implies that Rosechus have a gestation period of around three months. This amount of time would for a normal mammal be insufficient for healthy development, even for monotremes, which possibly explains why Sonees and Roseys always appear [[retarded]] and half-[[Yawning Squirtle|baked]]. However, [[Pokémon]] eggs hatch quite quickly.

Sonees and Roseys seem to vary a lot in intelligence. As infants, the [[Chaotic Combo]] could only say their own names (which is supposed to be [[Things Chris has ripped off|how Pokémon communicate]]). And the "Original" Sonee and Rosey can only say "Goo-Goo," suggesting they start with even less intelligence. However, the Sonichu Children are capable of speaking in complete (albeit mangled) sentences: Sandy was able to talk right after she was born! This discrepancy in intelligence has been addressed in [[Mailbag 23]] in which Chris states that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cerah, Christine and Robbie]] learned English from their parents and that the Chaotic Combo didn't have English-speaking guardians, which is a [[lie]] as [[Bubbles]] started speaking English while trying to rescue her mother and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] knew English as a Sonichu. This still doesn't address why Sandy could speak right after being born. To further confound the situation, [[Magi-Chan]] informs the readers via textwall that Wild had to teach Sandy English ''after'' she demonstrated fluency with the language, implying that she didn't know it beforehand.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86 Issue 10 Page 86]</ref> Regardless of this, they are all still of inferior intelligence.

It is also worth noting that Sonees and Roseys do not wear the white gloves that Sonichu and Rosechu wear at all times; acquiring the gloves is likely a rite-of-passage. Disturbingly, Sonees and Roseys have rounded stumps rather than hands which gives them the appearance of thalidomide babies, but knowing Chris, he probably ripped them off from the creatures from the ''Sonic'' games known as Chao. The ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' designs and a teddy-bear creature from ''[[Excel Saga]]'' called "Puchuu" may also have substantial influence on the design of Sonees and Roseys. Despite having no opposable thumbs, the mutant baby Pokémon are somehow able to accomplish rudimentary tasks with their stubby arms, such as baking cookies and playing [[PSP]]s.

There's also the strong possibility that Sonichu and Rosechu's children are not representative of the typical Sonee & Rosey Poke-type. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] went from hatching from an egg to her mature form and the intellectual skills of a fourth grader inside of a single week<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86]</ref> while [[Punchy]] evolved to his full form in a single day, even though he had his tail ripped off. This leaves us to formulate the hypothesis that Sonichu's children are kinda [[retarded|slower than the average]] to evolve in their adult form. Another possibility is that Sandy evolved rapidly because [[Wild Sonichu|her father]] [[Sonichu_10#The_Final_Countdown|lavished attention on her]], while Cerah, Christine and Robbie are left with [[Heather Iglesias|the nanny]] while their parents are forced to fulfill the wishes of [[Christian Weston Chandler|a deranged tyrant]]. Alternatively, Sonees and Roseys evolve more rapidly under stressful situations (see [[Bubbles]] and [[Punchy]]), thereby suggesting [[Wild]]'s attention is a [[Pedofork|lot less wholesome than the comic would lead you to believe]].

==Galleree==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:164-ACSonee.jpg|JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAR
Image:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg
Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg
Image:231-ACRosey.jpg|[[Pedofork|Notice how Chris draws Rosey with a skirt, but no top...]]
Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|[[Pedofork|The card pretty much speaks for itself.]]
Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg
Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg
Image:Demonicrobbie.jpg|[[Audiobooks|GOD DAMN LOOK AT THAT FACE]]
Image:Morechristmasshit.jpg|[[The Creepy Stare|This image will haunt your soul]].
Image:Bizarro Chris Sonichu's Offspring.jpg|Bizarro Chris
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Rosechu (species)]]
*[[Metonic]]
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"|''Sonichu'' #3 Episode 10]], the first episode to feature Sonees and Roseys, to the chagrin of Sonichu [[Trolls|fans]].
*[[SonichuBabies]], a [[parody|riff]] on the Muppet Babies featuring, in lieu of diminutive Jim Henson characters, these little imps.
*"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]"

== References ==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]

Robbie Sonee

2011-08-18T04:43:34Z

BrianBash: fixed double redirect

#REDIRECT [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]]

User talk:Taco Wiz

2011-08-16T21:50:00Z

BrianBash:

{{Welcome|Trombonista}}

==Da Update==

Champ's decided that it doesn't count as "Da Update"-worthy, so I had to remove it. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 01:13, 22 June 2011 (PDT)
:Sorry, this is probably not my place to say but wasn't new phone messages acceptable two months ago? [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 03:44, 22 June 2011 (PDT)
:*I think that counting a phone message changing as an update is sorta scraping the bottom of the barrel, you know? It sets a precedent to include any inane thing as an update, like Chris logging onto YouTube or Chris buying a new pair of socks. Of course, that's my opinion and if considerable amount of people disagree with me, I am more than willing to change my position on that. But it's just my thought that people are updating da update for the sake of updating it. If nothing happens this month, that's fine, same with the next few months. We can easily just have a "Summer of 2011" article for the months Chris is inactive. So yeah, it's not like it's imperative to have an update.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:55, 22 June 2011 (PDT)
:"Where no shit is too minor." I blame withdrawal symptoms. I need my fix, etc. Oddly, I think I did actually see something similar to a graph showing times Chris logged into Youtube at one point. I won't press the point and make an asshat of myself though. Like you said we can have a Summer of 2011 article later. [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 06:52, 22 June 2011 (PDT)

==Re: CWC's Second Message==
The ED page did not cause Megan to fall out with Chris - their "relationship" was already deteriorating long before that thanks to Chris's outbursts at Megan spending time with male friends who weren't Chris and his excessive unwanted touching. ED was simply the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 14:50, 16 August 2011 (PDT)

==Re: SheCameForCWC.jpg==
Your edits did not add any objective information to the article. The changes looked like something Chris would do to try and spread his own version of "TRUTH and HONESTY" on ED or the CWCki. Drawing and uploading cartoon porn does nothing to "prove" ones sexual orientation.

If you feel it's important to state Chris's justifications for doing something, it would probably be better to add another section for that purpose. However it shouldn't be worded in such a way that makes it look like white knighting for Chris. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 14:50, 16 August 2011 (PDT)

CWC's Second Message

2011-08-16T21:00:57Z

BrianBash: Undo revision 144335 by Taco Wiz (talk) vandalism

After months of trying to either ignore or edit the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, [[Chris]] explodes with fury in this video. He blames ED for causing his falling-out with [[Megan]], although anyone with a brainstem could tell that had occurred months before ED had ever heard of him.

Chris also begins threatening to withhold the release of [[Sonichu 7]] and all further comics unless the ED page is removed. Naturally, [[troll]]s were terrified that they would never see the conclusion to the absorbing story that Chris had created, and rushed to meet his demands.

This is a beloved classic in the CWC canon, and it was in this video that Chris coined the term "[[pedofork]]."

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC's Second Message
| image = {{#ev:youtube|1XmuUP8Z7r4}}
| Stardate = 3 [[August 2008]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos|text}}, {{Comics|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| Saga = {{ED|text}}
| Shirt = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]
| next = [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]
}}

{{quote|I am not a [[pedofork]], you dorks!}}

===Transcript===

''Citizens of the [[Internet]]'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.

[[Chris and his ego|Y'all should know me by now]], but, if you don't, I am [[Christian Weston Chandler]], ''the'' original creator of [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], back on March 17th, [[2000]]. Any dates earlier are void. I present this open message because I have a whole bunch of people on the Internet [''removes [[glasses]] dramatically''] give me hate…—show me a lot of hate... and I do not appreciate it. Ticks me off.

You think you can just… hate me just to get a laugh out of yourself. Think about it. You're laughing at somebody else's pain and torture, because I am lonesome, still trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] and to make into a [[sweetheart]]. Y'all think I'm just a sap, a chump, dumbass, whatever you may think. But you know what? You… ''you!'' Every last one of you, who has sh—expressed hate against me? ''You're'' the shitheads!

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|120px|Chris at age 70, if his cholesterol would allow him to live that long]]

Also, every last one of you who thinks that I am similar to that—of that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''… ''you're'' the [[pedophiles]]. Every one of you who thinks I'm [[homo]] and calls me that—because I am not; I'm ''straight''! I'm ''straight''!—''you’re'' the homos! Every last one of you!

I could—I could take the whole time to express so much ''anger'' and frustration. I'm only nearsighted; I do wear glasses. [''replaces glasses on face''] Take it or leave it, losers! [''removes glasses dramatically (again)''] It m—it helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... [''begins awkwardly tapping PS3 controller''] consume of.

But… on a more serious note: learning recently of the false—or real—literature, with downloaded… ''copies'' of my comic pages and whatnot. It has been either distributed or created ''without'' my consent or approval. So... it ''is'' a fake... and if it ever is published, or if it ever shows profit, let it weigh on your consciousness throughout your eternal life… that you are torturing and—worse off—tearing the heart, and soul, and emotions of the innocent man. The out—the innocent—still 26-year-old [''slams arms down on chair’s arms''] ''virgin''. Not only that, but I have so many lonely nights and stress… that you can not just imagine it!

Now, as for the other serious note: of any new stuff officially made by me, under my own… hands… ''not'' by anybody else's, which are considered ''false''. I just have not been feeling the inspiration to draw—to color! Because the loneliness…—I cannot stand that. The hatred I'm getting from every last one of you who has contributed to that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] web page… and every other forum, Internet document, lewdly drawn pictures with… ''dicks''…—I love ''dykes!'' ''Dykes!'' ''[[China|CHINA]]!'' I'm ''straight!'' If I ever—if I see a dick, I just look away, with a moment of being freaked out! [''makes arm gesture for “safe!”'']

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|right|200px|"She has come for me"]]

''And'' e-mailing me pictures is not gonna get any of you any further conclusion to “Will [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] get out of [[Dark Mirror Hole|the mirror]]?”, “Will the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] be collected?”, “Will I ''ever'' find my [[sweetheart]]?” ''And'' am I—am I or [[Megan Schroeder]] still an item—” which by the way, she broke up with me so much long ti—so much long ago because the contributors to that ED page… you broke the emotional streng—strength between us. You promoted such twists and turns to everything I have said [''begins tapping PS3 controller against his hand to count the offenses''] and drawn and written and ''whatnot''… You broke up the best friendship, the best relationship, the ''closest'' I could ever have in this ''pitiful adult life!'' ''You'' did it! Every last one of you! If I could blame myself, I would definitely blame myself for drawing [[Rule 34|those ''five'' pictures]]! Those five drawings! And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; [''covers eyes with one hand momentarily''] that is ''Megan!'' And just for—and just for—for taking it up—and twisting it around and such!

Think about it. ''Think about it!'' Weigh it on your conscience! Because nothing—no more official Sonichu art or work may—or may not—ever emerge… depending on the amount of hate that is decreased! That web page: ''taken off the Internet''! I wish I'd never found that piece of ''shit'' in the first place, back on that Halloween of [[2007|’07]], somewhere around there. And promoting the hatred, and… drawing such loose—such ''lucrid'' mockeries is ''not'' gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way… as I am telling you this, right into my [[PSEye|PlayStation Eye]]!

[''sighs deeply''] If I ever do find the one that is to be my sweetheart, I will give her such care, such tenderness, such love… we get around to the [[Chris and sex|hanky-panky]], that's fine, that's good… we get married. I will have my God-create—my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]! She will be taken care of… lovingly. Those of you mock me otherwise, with such ''frivolous, lucrid adultery''… if I ever hear another—any more new stuff, it will weigh on your conscience, with me ''tearing at your souls''… emotionally! Let ''that'' weigh on your conscience, for those of you who have already done so or are thinking about doing it!

I am not a ''[[pedofork]]'', you ''dorks''!

[[Image:Chris chan by B Comes B-459.png|thumb|200px|Mmmm China]]
[''sighs''] I tell ya… so much anger, so much stress… it's hard to see straight. Let that, the result of all that you have contributed against me, weigh heavily like a 10,000-pound anvil! "Sixteen tons, whadd'ya get? Another day older and deeper in debt!" [''pronounces the b in “debt”'']

[[Chris and religion|If I was not a baptized man]] over at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]] by the [[University of Virginia]], I'd tell every last one of you that contributed to the hatred and downpour, "Go to hell." But I can—but I would not even weigh that upon my worst enemy, because that—because [[Twin Falling Towers|I am more kind than ya think]]. Y'all just do not see that; y'all just twist my words around. [''clears throat''] I do not wish to see any more hatrey or adult mockery, and I want that Encyclopedia Dramatica page taken down forever! It will weigh heavily on your conscience each day that it is ''still'' up there.

[''replaces glasses on face''] I leave you with any other thoughts that you ''may'' have. But if you ''dare'' twist ''these'' words around, that will weigh ''worse'' on your conscience. The words that ''I'' provide from sound mind and ''heart''… it will weigh heavily on you.

[[Obesity|It will weigh ''heavily'' on you.]]

== Fan videos ==
{{collapsible
|Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Metal Love Solid: Portable Jerkops
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p03W5ElzdGI}}
| Stardate = 6 August [[2008]]
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Creator of the Internet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hxN_TCywHPg}}
| Stardate = 15 September [[2008]]
| Maker = Jawsusfreak777
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sgt. Autism.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jeSovLPzVFA}}
| Stardate = 22 September [[2008]]
| Maker = xjrlol
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan's Message To CHINA!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5vPj14MDJVE}}
| Stardate = 14 [[January 2009]]
| Maker = CWCLovesPickles
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Vanilla Chris - "Dykes Dykes China"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Br-yK7nbHuk}}
| Stardate = 14 [[March 2009]]
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Chandler (CWC) Presents: A Music Remix from [[Kacey|my New Gal-Pal]].
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1CHjLvHSe3Q}}
| Stardate = 5 [[June 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ringo Chris - "Christian Chandler: Lonesome Heart Soul Man (Reprise)"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|L79PdhpQKr8}}
| Stardate = 8 [[September 2009]]
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan is a Pedophile
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7kNrlediMZc}}
| maker = CelGamer
| stardate = 8 [[February 2010]]
| type =
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]|nextlink=[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2008| 03]]
[[Category: ED Saga videos| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category: Videos about homos| 2008-08-03]]

Megan Schroeder

2011-08-16T20:37:53Z

BrianBash: Undo revision 144325 by Taco Wiz (talk) GTFO

{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Megan Schroeder.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Megan Schroeder
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 23 July 1986
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| [[Wikipedia:NEET|NEET]]
|-
|}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) was a friend, maybe even what could be considered a true friend, of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s who appeared on the scene in [[2005]] and cut off contact with Chris around [[2008]].

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]]; asexual even, with a few eccentricities that Chris was more than happy to copy and fulfill, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of [[2005]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both [[Wikipedia:NEET|NEET]]s, idling their twenties away playing [[card games|games marketed to pre-teens]]. It only took [[Third date|a few games of cards]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. This was probably perpetuated by the fact that Megan used him as means to buy stuff off of eBay.

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would hang all over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other creepy actions. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who wanted nothing more than her personal space away from our hero. Even more so, she only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue hounding Megan. When Megan attempted to get rid of Chris, saying that she had a boyfriend, it didn't deter Chris from his ultimate goal of [[china]].

And that was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan is a bit of an amateur cartoonist herself, and that caught Chris's fancy early in the game.

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the now consistent diary-keeping that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') quickly made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own [[homo|lesbian]] furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (Chris knew Megagi?) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[animu]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes.

[[Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris critiqued some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character snuggling up with Chris AND offering fan service to the audience. Chris failed at understanding her anger, but did [[retcon]] a couple pages to tone them down.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering about the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and the prizes that laid within, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and the trip and use that to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost, [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, Megan didn't give a shit. Even when Chris began whining about how everyone "cheated", especially Adam, but he "didn't", she didn't care. It soon got to the point where Megan would finally blow up at Chris for his childish and selfish acts. Despite being hurt, Chris continued to harass Megan.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, 2008}}
[[Image:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|right|thumb|...aaand we've crossed it.]]
In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man war [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Rule 34]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering a girl]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], but Chris would eventually reveal that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her, and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring. In the end, Megan finally broke off all contact with Chris, broken by her experiences and traumatized by his actions.<ref>[[Chris-chan#Megan Saga]]</ref><ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008]]</ref>

==Epilogue==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]].

Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

A year later, on 10 August 2010, it was revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] believe Megan to have actively conspired with Michael Snyder and some [[homos]]exuals to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions something about how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to have been a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2|Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll". His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to have sex with him. He also appears to have confused her with another female Caucasian brunette that placed a sign on his lawn in October 2008.

In 2010, he created a model of Megan for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

==Chris's version of events==
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris has eventually come to try and act as if he's gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrays itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings is quite obviously traced from the same source.
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|<ref>http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php#a</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|THAT IS NOT CRYSTAL.
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

ShecameforCWC.JPG

2011-08-16T20:36:40Z

BrianBash: Undo revision 144323 by Taco Wiz (talk)

{{quote|And by the way, that is not [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] whose eyes are censored; that is [[Megan]]!|Chris, [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]}}

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|"Your sister has cum for me"]]

'''ShecameforCWC.JPG''' is some [[Rule 34]] that [[Chris]] drew as part of a campaign to fight the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] by "replacing negativity with positivity."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> Arguably the most controversial of all of Chris's artistic canon, this single image managed to invoke so much drama it ruined the closest relationship with a human being he has ever had - his friendship with [[Megan Schroeder]].

At first, people believed the picture to be of his imaginary twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]], until Chris edited the article to confirm that it was in fact Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref> He also angrily decried these scurrilous rumors in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|an Internet video]], shouting that it was Megan. While this is less disturbing than Chris wanting to have an incestuous relation his own fictitious twin sister, it is notably creepy that it is of his only friend with whom he had no romantic or sexual relationship.

==Background==

When Chris first discovered the [[ED]] page, he was disturbed by the number of [[pickles]] on the site. Using his powers of [[autistic]] logic, Chris decided that the best response would be to replace these images with images of things that Chris likes, hence "replacing negativity with positivity."

On 11 November [[2007]], Chris uploaded several new, original images to ED, including ShecameforCWC.JPG. All were varying degrees of horrifying, but ShecameforCWC.JPG proved to be the most controversial, leaving [[trolls]] in total shock.

==Analysis==
[[Image:ShecameforCWCanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis]]

The drawing fails in so many ways that it manages to capture the true essence of fail that is Chris:

*The [[Chris and art|artistic skills]] of an eight-year-old; depth perception and proportion are nonexistent. She looks as flat as the paper upon which she was drawn.
*A complete unfamiliarity with the female anatomy (the [[China|vagina]] is not one long hole and you could never do that sort of thing with a real vagina, looking like that).
*Megan's body lacks all curves whatsoever. Chris should probably start paying better attention to women in porn, as then he would know that girls' waists nip in, thus making the hips appear more pronounced, instead of being straight up and down [[Pedofork|like a little boy]].
*Unfamiliarity with human anatomy in general. Megan's legs seem to start right at the groin while her hips are directly behind them. Her right hand seems to be permanently stuck doing the [[Wikipedia:Vulcan salute|Vulcan salute]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]]''. Also, it looks like neither Chris nor Megan have elbows, joints or even bones for that matter. What is supposed to be her foot looks like a deformed flipper.
*Chris is somehow reaching over his left shoulder with his right hand despite the fact that his elbow remains near his side, creating an effect straight out of [[Wikipedia:M. C. Escher|M. C. Escher]]'s darkest nightmares.
*Megan's right nipple looks at first to be a sixth finger, suggesting that Chris messed up (more than usual) while drawing the hand and decided to turn it into a nipple.
*The [[China|vagina]] in question appears to be either glowing or shooting out a powerful gust of wind. Chris probably meant to convey that Megan was "wet" and/or "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|squirtin']]," but due to his own stupidity he drew her "[[Wikipedia:Female ejaculate|cum]]" around and outside the vagina instead of coming from inside it, leading to the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages" effect shown in the picture. Also, pussy juice is not blue.
*Megan's pubic hair, which was probably supposed to be a [[Wikipedia:Landing strip (pubic hair)|landing strip]] (a near-ubiquitous hair cut in porn), in this drawing bears a slight resemblance to [[Wikipedia:Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s mustache (coincidentally, Megan had a one-time fetish for German soldiers, which Chris wouldn't realize anyway). It is also quite far up on her body, and looks like some kind of messed-up [[Wikipedia:Abdominal hair|happy trail]] instead of pubic hair.
*Close attention to the parts that interest Chris, namely [[China|genitalia]] and breasts, yet a tiny head he had to squeeze in, most likely because he started with the former and realized "Oh, she needs a face."
*In contrast, Chris pays close attention to his [[Medallion of Fail]], his [[heterochromia]], etc.
*Not only a retarded pun, a reinforcement of Chris's narcissism, that when a woman orgasms, it's for his sake and not her own pleasure (as he titled it "''She''came''For''CWC", emphasis added). Plus, a smug look on his face as he gives a thumbs up while fingering her seals the deal.
*He's wearing his [[Sonichu medallion]] while fingering a woman. He stated that ideally, he'd like to be wearing his medallion for his first time.{{cite}}
*The fact that this is his best and only friend, Megan, and he sees nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it's on the Internet where she can see it.

==Drama==
===With ED===
When Chris first uploaded the image to ED, he captioned it "Your sister has cum for me." Exactly what he meant here is disputed, but it had the unintended effect of leading ED's users to widely conclude that the picture represented ''Chris's'' sister, the fictional character [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]. (Given the nature of Chris’s artwork, any two females with long brown hair are easily mistaken for each other.)

Over the next few months, the image was removed and replaced a few times over the course of Chris's simmering edit war against ED. It didn’t become a serious hot potato until [[March 2008]], however, when [[Megan]] discovered the picture and learned that it was meant to be a picture of her. (Chris, not realizing that it would probably be better to cut his losses and let the trolls believe that he wanted to screw his imaginary sister, spilled the beans himself.) In between bombarding Megan with apologies via e-mail, he went on a desperate campaign to remove the image from his ED page.

Chris spent most of a week trying to remove the image, trying to delete references to Megan from the article, trying to erase random bits of the article in order to camouflage his real intentions, and otherwise failing to realize that once something goes up on a wiki, you can’t make it come back down. Amazingly, he even tried to replace the image with a [[:File:TomTomCloseup.jpg|cropped version]] which just involved the vagina, as though Megan were only angry about her and Chris's facial features being depicted and would be satisfied if the image just showed his hand disappearing up her radiant quim. ED admins quickly reverted his edits and eventually protected the page once it was obvious that Chris was up to something.

On 18 March, Chris admitted defeat in his own disturbing way, and edited the image’s caption — as well as several other captions around the article — to make it clear that the woman depicted is Megan, not Crystal. Over the next few days, he made a number of other self-deprecating and self-pitying changes and additions to the page, including the "[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]" series of images, before giving up on editing ED for six months.

===With Megan===
In early spring [[2008]], Chris’s relationship with Megan had gone relatively smoothly for some time. However, on 4 March, she sent him a seemingly innocuous message, sharing some friendly news...and also asking that Chris remove any references to her from his websites.

By 12 March, Megan had discovered the full extent of what Chris had written and drawn about her around the Internet, and particularly the fact that she'd starred in his cartoon fantasy porn. (At some point, according to [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], the image was also discovered by Megan's fellow customers at [[The_Game_Place|the Game Place]].) While failing to get the image off the ED page over the next several days, Chris sent her a series of messages trying to put out the fire.

Some of his attempts to "explain" the image to Megan are downright bizarre. It's hard to do justice to the [[Megan_Emails, 2008#Chris_apologizes_for_something.2C_what_could_it_be.3F|original e-mails]]. At one point he seemed to think Megan was offended because she didn't understand the act on display, and went off on a frighteningly awkward explanation of what a handjob is. In another e-mail, Chris confirmed the suspicion of many trolls — that he had entertained thoughts of sexually assaulting Megan.

{{quote|If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac...|Chris, [[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|e-mail to Megan, 18 March 2008]]}}

Generally, Chris's "apologies" are a classic display of his insensitivity and awesome narcissism in action. He shows little remorse for creating and publishing the image while offering plenty of woe-is-me whining about the bullies from ED. In a message from 18 March, he actually had the gall to tell Megan that no matter how bad she might be feeling, he himself has definitely got it worse.

After sending several messages and receiving little in the way of response from Megan, Chris appears to have given up on winning back her trust, which coincides with the slackening of his campaign to remove the image from ED and the increasingly self-hating tone of his edits there. On 23 March, Megan finally sent him two brief replies to the effect of "leave me alone." Those mark the end of the active drama over the image. Chris stopped editing ED around the same time.

As a coda to the fiasco, Chris tried once more to repair his relationship with Megan about a month later, sending a message with a mix of everyday news and creepy stalkerish longing. Given some time to consider the implications of his earlier messages, especially the parts where he brought up the prospect of raping her, Megan slammed the door shut, saying "I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore." This remains their last known communication.

==Today==
{{quote|It was Wishful Thinking.|Chris, describing his motive for drawing ShecameforCWC, [[Rejected Mailbag]]}}

Christian's remorse turned out, not surprisingly, to be fake as he went and reuploaded the picture for his sleazy [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the fact he needed "sexy images".<ref>[[Mumble 9.5|Mumble Chat 9.5]]</ref> The pain he caused a female friend means nothing compared to his lust for e-fame. The original drawing itself is said to be ripped up and stored in a "Crumple-Lope"
==See also==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] - Chris graduates from a handjob to an all-out rockstar orgy. His drawing style hasn't improved.
==Sauce==
<references />
{{MeganSaga}}
[[Category:Rule 34]]
[[Category: Megan Saga]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

File talk:SchuComicSP3P5real.jpg

2011-08-16T10:00:30Z

BrianBash: realised that the deletion banner doesn't go on this page. moving to actual file page

AGH MY EYES! Make me unsee it! - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 02:17, 14 August 2011 (PDT)

==Nomination for Deletion==
Why is this even here? This isn't a porn or shock site. We don't need random images of real, freaky cocks, especially without some kind of warning. The only cocks on this site are the nudes Chris dropped - and that's even in an NSFW wrapped collapsible box. Take this shit back to ED. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 10:39, 14 August 2011 (PDT)
::Totally agree. Needs to be deleted. Maybe if it was some real person's 'duck' with Sonichu on it I'd fight for it's right to be here...but as it is, it has NOTHING to do with the CWCki. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 10:59, 14 August 2011 (PDT)

Template talk:Articleofthenow

2011-08-16T06:23:00Z

BrianBash: action and comments

I've gone and applied this template to past articles of the now back to [[November 2010]], excluding the one for [[Christmas]] (since it was for the holiday only). I didn't want to add it to all past articles because that would be cumbersome, and many of the past articles might not be up to date any more - better only to showcase recent ones.

Also, should [[Template:Featured article]] be used in place of this? The star is not as flashy and doesn't take up as much real estate on the screen - especially on pages that already have a banner. Since we don't have a featured article section, maybe we could rename the Featured Article template to "Article of the Now" and use it in place of this template here?– [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 23:23, 15 August 2011 (PDT)

Carlos Chantor

2011-08-16T06:16:20Z

BrianBash: Added 'Articleofthenow' banner, as it was once "Article of the Now"

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Before you contacted me again to renew our relationship, I was aiming towards selling myself out as a Male Escort to earn money. I tried applying with C-Ville's "Naughty & Nice" Escort Service; they did not take me. And I printed and discreetly passed out cards, along with posting an ad on escorts.com, under the new alias of '''"Carlos Chantor"''''(DO NOT Tell anyone else of my new alias).|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 6|Jackie E-mails #6]]}}

[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|"[[List of Chris's lies|Experienced for Her Pleasure.]]"]]

'''Carlos Chantor''' was Chris's alias during his short-lived career as a male escort.

Chris came up with the alias after his first break up with his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. He tried joining with [[Charlottesville]]'s "Naughty and Nice" escort services, but after being told that there was no market for [[duck|bent]], [[autism|autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgins with rage]], he made a profile (now deleted) at '''Escorts.com''', apparently unaware that most male prostitutes belong to a rather [[Gay|rough trade]]. Interestingly, on the Escort.com profile Chris checked that he was comfortable with every fetish available (except the ones he found too [[homosexual]]). After a [[Prank calls#Carlos Chantor Call|certain prank call inquired about watersports]], however, he quickly reverted his decision and removed watersports as a fetish. He also distributed cards promoting himself as an escort around Charlottesville. This shows once again that Chris does not care about sex as an act between two lovers but a way to lose his virginity, as well as get a quick buck.

For some reason, no one has called Chris up.

== Escorts.com Profile ==

=== About Me ===
[[Virgin|Experienced]] for Her Pleasure.

Hey, Ladies. I am a cool dude to hang with, and I can make you [[CWC's Message for Ivy|feel good emotionally]] and [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|show you a fun time]]. I enjoy a lot of things; [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|I'll let you know when it's going too far]]. Give me [[Prank calls|a call]] to hook up (434 area code only).

=== My Details ===
[[File:CarlosChantor.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The explicit personal details of notorious womanizer, Carlos Chantor.]]
* '''Sex:''' Male
* '''Date of Birth:''' 2/24/[[1982]] (age 28)
* '''Orientation:''' [[Homos|Straight]] Male
* '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|Caucasian]]
* '''Body Type:''' [[Obesity|Average (height/weight proportional)]]
* '''Height:''' 5 feet 10 inches (178 cm)
* '''Hair Color:''' [[Hair|Brown]]
* '''Eye Color:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
* '''Smoking:''' [[Tobacky|Do Not Smoke]]
* '''Drinking:''' [[Alcohol|Occasionally]]
* '''Drug Use:''' Never use them
* '''Language Spoken:''' [[Chris and English|English]]
* '''Secondary Language:''' [[Spanish]]

[[File:Randy-trailer-park-boys.jpg|right|thumb|He's not the only one selling sex for cheeseburgers.]]

===My Location===
* '''Home:''' [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]

===My Availability===
* '''Available as a(n):''' [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Accommodating Male]], [[Patti|Master]]/[[Julie Reveals Herself|Slave]], [[Butt garments|Model]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Masseuse]], [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_Undressing|Stripper]]/[[WelcometoBollywood|Dancer]], [[Barbara|Escort]]
* '''Available For:''' Outcall, [[14 Branchland Court|Incall]]
* '''Management:''' Independent

==See also==
* [[Chris and sex]]

[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]
[[Category:Websites]]

LittleBigPlanet

2011-08-16T06:15:02Z

BrianBash: Added 'Articleofthenow' banner, as it was once "Article of the Now"

{{Articleofthenow}} 
{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|'LittleBiGPlanet; it is a Planet that is Little, it is a Planet that is Big. LittleBiGPlanet.' A motto for the game I made up.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 8|Jackie E-mails #8]]</ref>}}
[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very antithesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is [[Honor Roll|intelligent]], [[Random access humor|witty]], [[Fail|successful]], [[Nudes|handsome]], [[Monthly Tugboat|wealthy]], and [[Attraction Sign|charming]], as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both [[Homos|gay men]], Fry does not engage in [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|self-loathing]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|closet dwelling]].]]

'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (also known as [[Speech impediment|"''Little Pig Blanket''"]] and [[Trollin'_Train#Damn.21_.28Wed_25_Aug_2010_5:42_AM.29|"''LittleFuckPlanet''"]]) is a critically-acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]]. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels.

While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[lie|amazing custom levels]]. Chris, being an enthusiastic fan of the game, fancies himself an ''LBP'' spokesmanchild, while failing to realize that neither his reputation nor his promotional activities actually help convince people that ''LBP'' is worth playing.

==Chris and ''LBP''==
[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]
Chris is a huge fan of ''LittleBigPlanet''. He participated in the beta test in the fall of [[2008]], and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When ''LBP'' was released, Chris disappeared from the [[Internet]] for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. The game's main character, "Sackboy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, as well as every single game add-on available in the [[List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads#LittleBigPlanet|PSN Store]].

The biggest reason Chris latched onto ''LittleBigPlanet'' was that it let him make [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu: The Game'']]; no other game in existence was sufficiently idiot-proof for the purpose. Of course, Chris still managed to make somewhat horrific levels and it took until ''LBP 2'' until Chris's output started to look at least somewhat plausible.

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[HEXbox]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for the [[Wii]] and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out, and condemned these vile bastardizations before even finding out if they ''actually'' exist.

Not everything is rosy in Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of ''LittleBigPlanet'' as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also [[F Abstinance#Description|unhappy with the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' DLC]] (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|horrid abominations]] in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how video games work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts.

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by Stephen Fry, a well-known [[homos|homosexual]] and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the ''LBP'' Community==
Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over ''LittleBigPlanet''. It's not surprising that the ''LBP'' community is one of the few online communities Chris has gotten into voluntarily. However, just like in the case of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]] and PS3 boards in general, his personality and antics have not helped him to earn friends there.

Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the the game's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his ''[[Sonichu]]'' levels several weeks later under grounds of "[[Copyright]] Infringement". This was not enough to get him banned, however, and the levels are back in the servers.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the ''LBP'' community at large. See most of his ''LBP'' videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the ''LBP'' community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

===On costumes===
[[File:SonicLBPCostumes.jpg|thumb|The costumes that failed to meet Chris's specifications...]]
[[File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's subsequent bitching]]

Much later, in [[March 2010]], Sony released a DLC pack of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' costumes for ''LBP''. While one would think that something like this would fill the ''Sonic''-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make ''[[Sonichu]]''. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about, and his only demand to game developers is to ask for something that would benefit him alone.

{{quotebox|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.

Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.

Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be seperate Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my [[Rosechu]] Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, [[Women's rights|SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS]].

I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.

Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my [[Cwcipedia]] at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page
PSN Online ID: Sonichu}}

Sony did not respond.

==Chris' ''LittleBigPlanet'' creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

Chris has created many levels in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his video game achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and [[Chris and camerawork|the videos]]. They're poorly thought-out, not playtested at all before publishing, show laziness and technical incompetence all around and have a mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same minimum-effort approach to ''LBP'' as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris's levels follow the tried-and-true "combine two franchises" technique, and that all of them have been tagged by ''LittleBigPlanet'' players as being "creepy", "weird", "rubbish", and "frustrating".

===''Sonichu'' Level===
[[File:SC9.jpg|thumb|A Sackboy panics as he's almost crushed by a giant wooden Sonichu. Be warned: Chris's levels kill innocent Sackpeople.]]
Chris began mashing this level together in the era when ''LBP'' was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The ''Sonichu'' level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for ''Sonichu''. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first ''LBP'' level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode #1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic. The rest of the level is just expanses of empty areas, poorly made blocks of material, small poorly-made jumping puzzles and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some ''Sonichu'' stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's ''Aqua Teen Hunger Force''-Styled "BugerTime" Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with...''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' and the [[1982]] arcade game ''BurgerTime''. Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris's incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed eighteen times.

===Sonichu costume===
Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu nor a costume.

===PS3 History Level===
{{main|PS3 History Level}}
This is the level that catapulted Chris to fame, when it was featured on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' website as one of the honorable mentions in an ''LBP'' contest. The level was vastly improved compared to the ''Sonichu'' level, which, however, still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks|build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his "wonderful" recreations of the [[PS3]], [[PSP]] and [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks — so you'd better not doubt his straightness. Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history — the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

Chris won the ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' level pack after this demonstration of the power of the weapon that will lead us into the 21st century.

===''LittleBigPlanet'' Collector's Case===
Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his ''LBP'' profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": a few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

After the release of ''LittleBigPlanet 2'', Chris republished the level as "LBP 2 Collecter's Case" (sic). It truly showcases all of the highly innovative new features of the sequel - namely, its backwards compatibility and, uh, drawers. Chris's hoarding tendencies also just can't be kept in check. Chris also made an in-game [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHh9cS34wDk tutorial video]. He ordered [[CWCki]]ans to mock it – curious, because there's not much to specifically ''mock'' in it. It's just more of the same.

===First Date Level===
Made on Valentine's Day [[2009]] and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "rollercoaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' extreme loops, passing by some of the [[Homos|gaudiest pink trees]] in existence. Once these ten seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a pink room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take [[Nudes|pictures]] of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the "[[McDonald's|romantic dinner]]" scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in the [[#Rescuing Kacey|"Rescuing Kacey"]] video, and Chris also used screenshots of it (and the Kacey level) in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|"To Jackie, with Love"]].

===Metal Speed Solid===
Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''MGS'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure-inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at "[[Sonic]] speed". Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===
"Rescuing [[Kacey]]" was made in [[November 2009]] and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|"Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler"]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the infamous [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down [[Liquid Chris]], who is allegedly holding Kacey hostage, and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey, ''and'' Liquid - just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day 2009, which occurred quite a long time ''before'' Chris and Kacey met.

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===
[[File:OwlLevel.jpg|thumb|A Sackboy expresses his fury at being forced to play this.]]
"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] on 9 [[February 2010]], and it's based on the compelling prose written by Chris and his latest [[gal-pal]], [[The Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]], and completely inexplicable (yet inevitable) cameos by two certain [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but the fanbase has done its best.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E</ref>

The level preview is notorious in that while Chris had tried his best to protect his latest sweetheart from troll attention, he revealed the Wallflower's pen name in the level description. As she had already established herself on the Internet with that name, she was easily discovered by trolls. Chris's relationship with her came crashing down.

After this, it is unlikely that the full version of the level will be released. Of course, Chris being Chris, didn't have the good sense to retract the level from the servers. On the contrary, Chris later uploaded a modified version of this level on ''LittleBigPlanet 2'', changing the description to replace "Full level coming soon!" with "Sadly we broke up :(".

 

==''LittleBigPlanet 2''==
[[File:Littlebigplanet2-boxart.jpg|thumb|''Little Pig Blanket 2'']]
''LittleBigPlanet 2'' was released on 18 [[January 2011]], precipitating a still-deeper retreat into the [[PS3|hugbox]]. Chris pre-ordered the Collector's Edition six months in advance after trading in "9 [[PS3]], 2 [[PS2]], 3 [[PSP]] and 4 [[Nintendo|DS]] [[Video games|Games]]", all of which only covered about half the price.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie E-mails #7]]</ref>

===Collector's Case Tutorial===
{{main|CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial}}
''LBP2'' introduced the ability to record one's own voice, so Chris's first major creation was a video of Sonichu explaining how to use his groundbreaking "Collector's Case" level. Chris really sounds like he's in his happy place during this video, in sharp contrast with his next piece of work...

===Autism Tutorial===
{{main|Autism Tutorial}}
On 13 [[February 2011]], Chris published his [[Autism Tutorial]] and [[Autism Tutorial Extra]] levels. These non-interactive machinima bits finally show some advance planning and craftsmanship, and Chris actually narrates them somewhat clearly; however, he hasn't improved his rhetoric at all, which might be pretty important if he intends to use the game as a soapbox.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://lbp.me/u/Sonichu Chris's LBP Profile] (or at least it ''would'' be there, if he actually cared about his billion-strong fanbase)
* [http://lbp.me/search?q=Sonichu ''Sonichu'' creations on ''LBP''] (including Chris's true original creations and some fascinating fan creations)
*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia Article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Trollin Train

2011-08-16T06:13:26Z

BrianBash: Added 'Articleofthenow' banner, as it was once "Article of the Now"

{{Articleofthenow}}
'''Trollin Train''' was a fake [[troll]] forum, established on 27 [[July 2010]], which Chris frequented under the trollsona "[[JenkinsJinkies]]." He eventually gave up on posting, afraid that when [[jerkops]] "busted" the forum they would mistake him for a troll.{{cite}}

Trollin Train is an excellent example of both Chris's [[Naive|naïveté]] and his [[ego]]. His JenkinsJinkies persona was instantly recognized by the trolls due to his narrow grasp of [[Chris and English|the English language]], and taken advantage of from the start. Furthermore, his arrogance led him to believe that all of the trolls had immediately fallen for his ruse and that a fourteen-year-old sodomist who had moved in ''directly'' across the street from Chris would fit in perfectly with the secret trolling circle (because in [[Chris and Reality|Chris's mind]], all trolls are really angsty gay children and not regular people with jobs and girlfriends who troll Chris in their spare time for fun). Needless to say, the JenkinsJinkies [[Manboobs|teat]] was milked for all it was worth and Chris went along without ever realizing it.

==Chris's Posts==
===Hey, Everyone! J.J. has arrived. (Thu 29 July 2010 12:19 AM)===
A new thread in which Chris introduces himself:
{{quoteboxred|First, let me say I am most humbled to be welcomed among my fellow Troll Kind. [[File:Smiley smug.gif]]

Well, let me tell a bit more about myself for starters. My real name is [[Junior Jenkins]] (Scooby-Doo was the inspiration behind the "Jinkies"). LOL. I had a [[birthday]] recently on the 16th of July, so now I'm 15. I couldn't celebrate it with my friends like I would have wanted to, because I was hitchhiking my way to [[Ruckersville]] from Boston. I'm crashing at a house where I have some relatives there (They're the fucking Black Sheep of the family, and they're not close within the same house. It is cool, because they won't rat me out to my parents and siblings. Like I need another damn minute with those assholes who overlook me). And a better part, their house is across the street from [[14 Branchland Court|Chrissy's house]]. Sadly, though, the blinds to [[Chris's room|his bedroom]] are always closed, but I still get some sights of him and the family out of their house.

I've arrived at my new home a few days ago on the 20th. I'll be spending my Sophmore year and so on in Greene County's High School. I promised I'd write to my gal back in Boston, but what happens here she doesn't have to know. [[File:Emot-dong.gif]] I'll have to make some new friends come September, but I'll be cool; I'm a stud!

I'll also miss my favorite duo of dudes, Jerry and Dino. They taught me the ropes of high school life; they both were 16. I looked up to them (like I would have for [[Carol Chandler|my older sister]] if she wasn't such a fuckin' cunt). They were a [[Homos|gay]] couple, and they respected me as a friend only. I made it my Final Realization I was not gay with the help of Jerry and my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]], Lisa. Sweet little whore took me in with gratitude on my 14th birthday. She had a few exes from [[Middle School]], and her mom was a Bondage Queen.

Before then, I had a gay experience in Summer Camp when I was 7. My bunkmates were experimenting, and made me their mo-fo unwilling guinea pig. I was blindfolded during the whole thing, feeling an 8-year old's [[pickle|dick]] up my ass. I was not thrilled from the ordeal. But [[January 2010|last January]], I became curious from the recalling of the feeling, so I asked Jerry to show me a night. At first it was neutral, then he made out with me; his breath was minty with a hint of garlic from something he ate; it was cool with me. Then he told me to suck his dick, and I did; the taste and sight did not thrill me. And he sucked [[Duck|mine]]. He got a rise out of me, but then I started to feel uneasy. It was minor at first, and I promised myself I'd see this through. Finally, he was in me doggy style. As he humped me, I was feeling it both in my penis, and in my gut; worsening as he went on. And eventually, I embarrassed myself grossly. I came AND fucking threw up simultaneously. Jerry had not come yet himself, and out of respect, he withdrew himself and asked me if I was okay. He cleaned me, and my mess on his floor up. I felt soo damn ashamed, but Jerry was kind and understanding to me. And it was then I confirmed it for myself that I was not gay, and Jerry and Dino agreed with me. So with that, I was able to move forward feeling more confident in my orientation. [[File:Emot-spergin.png]]

Anyway, after moving here, I have studied the times of exits and entries from the Chandler Chateau, looking for a pattern. There was definitely one with [[Bob|Robert]], morning for breakfast at [[Burger King|B.K.]] and afternoon outings to I.D.K. where. [[Barbara]] appears to come out mostly either in the afternoon or night; sometimes in the mornings. And Chris has no set pattern as far as I can tell yet.

But I'll post new stuff as I learn them, some with (hopefully embarrassing) photographs of Chris as I learn and take.

Smell ya later,
Junior Jenkins "Jinkies".|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=579&highlight=#579]</ref>}}

===Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)===
Another new thread. Parts of this message were very clearly dictated to Chris by [[Bob]]. In it, Chris makes the absurd assumption that the trolls are animal abusers, and was snapped at by the trolls in response.
{{quoteboxred|I've been keeping watch over Christian's house for any consistent patterns or LULZy details. I had seen none, even when I went over there while no one was at home. Although, I did mess up the [[cats]] a bit by stepping on their paws; the scratches and bites were worth it. All of the doors were locked (big surprise). Their garden was a big jungle (only half my height, though; about 2 feet high max). I found no incriminating evidence in their garbage.

But recently, I made a call to their house and pretended to be a fan of [[Sonichu]]. Bob was bored I guess, and he talked to me. After mentioning the Trolls, Bob said to me, "Sissies that hide behind screen names and the [[internet]] are the biggest bunch of cowards and the scum of the earth. They are afraid to come out one-on-one, face-to-face. [[Hooker incident|They would hide behind their mothers' skirts.]]" Then he directed to one of our own he found out somehow, "Females are the worst; such as Miranda "Enjoy The Big [[Pickle]]" Cosgrove." That surprised me greatly, but in defensefor you, Miranda, Bob would be of no match against you.

Then Bobby said, "Meet me in person at [[Burger King]] in [[Ruckersville]] Any Day between 9:30 & 10:30 AM, and I will talk to you and your friends and answer your questions. Christian and I are not afraid and have nothing to hide. We are [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] and above bored." We chatted some more and then he hung up.

I'd say let's troll Bobby further to get to Chrissy. I went there this morning; he was civil and gave me some info on Chris, such as that he has a complete collection of [[Wikipedia:50 State quarters|the United State Quarters]] on a Map (What a dumb way to save [[money]]). He also calls Chris a good boy (I agree with him; he ain't grown up). And, ooh, this is a good one; Chris tried to roller skate, and fell multiple times, even though he did a lot better on Ice Skates at the Ice Park (a class he took at [[PVCCitizens]]).

I'm sure the more of us that go to Bobby and talk to him, the more information we can get out of him about Chrissy for our schemes.

I'll continue to keep watch and let y'all know when something new and lulzy comes up.

Junior Jenkins.|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=953&highlight=#953]</ref>}}

=== Damn! (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:42 AM)===
In response to a thread announcing that Chris had discovered Trollin Train:
{{quoteboxred|Chris found this Forum?!!! I agree with you, Miranda, what if Chris doesn't download our virus at all; he's reading our plans, he may just boycott downloading ANYTHING new from [[ModNation Racers|ModNation]] or [[LittleBigPlanet|LittleFuckPlanet]]. And even IF [[Sony]] doesn't read what he wrote, they are aware of our shit as well. I tell ya, he ain't hiding, he's snitchin' on us for the fuckin' "good" of every lazy fuck on the PSN. Anti-Viruses can be put into any next Update now.

Plus, Chris may come out of hiding and make a video to put the close on our fuckin' repeated death rumor. And I have noticed something else, with my Laptop, I managed to use a bit of his Wi-Fi (it goes all around his yard). It Disappears Nightly, and sometimes Daily. He's Unplugging his Internet, keeping us out.

[[File:Emot-frogsiren.gif]]

I have to hand it to him, he makes it Frustrating to Troll Him. It's like we have to PAY AirFare or HitchHike Dangerously and do it Old-Fashioned with Accordian Cameras and shit like that.|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1011&highlight=#1011]</ref>}}

The "virus" he mentions was in reference to a thread in which trolls claimed to be putting viruses into ''LBP'' and ''ModNation'' DLC that Chris would be likely to download.

===That plan is NO GOOD (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:48 AM)===
In response to a thread about digging up Patti:
{{quoteboxred|I personally took a closer look at [[Patti]]'s grave; it is Harder to break in than [[Wikipedia:United States Bullion Depository|fort fuckin' knox]]. the body is buried deep underground with Cement Blocks covering the site, and her [[Father Call|HEAVY Dog House]] is on top of those Cement Blocks. I wouldn't be surprised if they Cemented her grave as well. Also, the site is Heavily Surrounded by Trees and Heavy Branches; it's like Deepest in the Mine Shaft with Cave-Ins happening all the time.|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1012&highlight=#1012]</ref>}}

=== Nah, dude (Thu 26 Aug 2010 4:55 AM)===
In response to a thread about getting [[The Bear]] to call Chris "Mr. Poopy Head" so that Chris would have to rename himself to "Mr. Poopy
Head Weston Chandler". The post was likely made in the wrong thread, as it appears to be a response to [http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=83 Christian Weston Chandler: 1982 - 2010]
{{quoteboxred|Do you really think he's that retarded? To perform a Repeated Act is fucktarded. Like we ALL know he is alive; I am watching him, his family and his house daily; it is POINTLESS and Redickulous to remake the Rumor of his death. We should Not Repeat performances, because he will be Expecting them and Knowing very well to ignore the Trite Fucktardedness.|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1062&highlight=#1062]</ref>}}

=== Hey, the Equipment and the Digging (Thu 26 Aug 2010 5:12 AM)===
In response to the same thread about digging up Patti:
{{quoteboxred|It's all no good; the neighborhood is Very Often Quiet. The noise will be heard by someone, if not the Damndler family; someone would call the [[Jerkops|Police]] on us for sure. Besides which, I was Haunted by the spirit of the dog AND the child Monday Night.

I went over to Chris's house with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too; strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. [[Troll]]." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' shittin' my pants here. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the [[Elementary School]] were; they did not understand me and my mind. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an [[Abusive babysitter|abusive babysitter called "Roache"]] locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at [[James Madison University]]; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of [[Nathanel Greene Elementary School]] holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence.

Next thing I knows, I am knocked back onto the cement block trail of the garden aisle, by the weight of a big dog, yet there was no dog. Wrists, Ankles and Neck still being hand-held, the child ghost leaves my mind, and then I hear a deep womanly voice, Growling at me as I smelled the stench of a dog's breath surrounding my nostrils. The voice says, "Do not mess with my master, my family or me, you infidel!" Next, I feel the sting of [[Patti|the dog]] biting into both of my ankles, one after the other. At that moment, I struggle back, leaving behind the lit flashlight I dropped earlier when my arms were being stretched out. And I limp as fast as I can back to my house, closing and locking the door behind me, gasping for breath and dripping with sweat. I limp to the bathroom with the shower and look in the mirror; what a gross mess I looked like. And I see a Big, Red Rash on the right side of my neck, and rashes on both of my wrists, from the hands that held them in place. And my pant legs were ripped, and he saw on both of my ankles rashes, and Teeth Marks of a Dog. I tried to scream again, but it was another silent scream. And I was unable to speak at all for Four Hours.

I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and [[Patti]], protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave. It is NOT worth it to have to suffer the Nightmare that can render you as damned silent as the [[Autistic]] child. And Patti is definitely not friendly to our dark kind.

[[List of Chris's lies|I tell you only the truth, my friends.]]|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</ref>}}

=== Dudes, you are not gonna believe this. (Sun 29 Aug 2010 1:22 PM)===
Another new thread, posted as a part of Chris's half-baked plot to get over nine thousand dollars for destroying his PS3:
{{quoteboxred|Even I could not believe it, but I was an Eye-Witness to Chris Smashing his own [[PSTriple]]. I had just gotten home from an outing with my family, when at about 4:00 on the afternoon of this Saturday the 28th, I saw Chris walk outside of his house with his Camera in one hand, a pair of workers gloves in his back pocket, and his PS3 in the other hand. I was curious, so I followed him to his backyard, where I watched from behind the gazebo. Thank God I was not seen by him. Yet Fuck Me for forgetting MY Camera.

Anyway, he had taken a busted Air Conditioner from his Junk Pile, placed his console onto it, placed the tripod to one side and detached the camera from it to get a close up of his fat face. I don't remember his shitty speech fully, but it was some stuff of finding peace within himself and was about to destroy the "vessel?" which held his "lonely, anguished self" from the past three years. Then he reattached the camera to the tripod, relocated it for a closer view, walked in front of it, put on the gloves, picked up the nearby brick and started WAILING on it. I was just all Shocked, I could barely move and believe my eyes. He was smashing the thing like asteroids at fucking Armageddon. He looked like he was not going to stop. But after a minute, he put down the brick, took off his gloves and turned the camera off. Also, he had removed the Removable cover with his decals on it; said he was keeping it as a momento or something. And he walked back to the house, carrying his camera and the pieces of his own Smashed PSTriple.

I would have posted sooner, but I was paralyzed with shock for hours; it was Horrifying to me. And later at about near 10:45 that night, I watched from the window of my room as he laid the smashed PS3 on his gravel driveway, and recorded Driving Over it with both of his Left Tires, about 4 or 5 times! My Shock continued more.

I finally recovered about a couple of hours ago, ate a Hungry Man Dinner; I could not eat at all since the first smashing. Then I remembered that I should really be posting this, so here I am.

OMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMG...|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1186&highlight=#1186]</ref>}}

==Sauces==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/ Trollin Train]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Chris's birthday

2011-08-16T06:12:31Z

BrianBash: Added 'Articleofthenow' banner, as it was once "Article of the Now"

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|[[Homo|Chris blows.]]]]

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!"|Chris, on being nearly 30.}}

'''[[Chris]]'s birthday''', 24 February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizarre inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new [[vidya]], to [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|wanting his birthday to be a national holiday]]) warrants some inspection.

==Notable birthdays==

[[Image:0481-CWC18th12.jpg|thumb|Chris's best birthday EVER!]]

===17th===
Chris receives a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF1n1AxK1Dg Pro200] handheld game console, and is photographed looking visibly disappointed while holding it. He also draws "[[Bionic]] Over Autism.", which would later be included in Sonichu 6 and creats Espanolic, which would later be seen on his [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD cover project]] for school.

===18th===
While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, Chris got a Sega Dreamcast. While he did have something of a party, it was very much the kind thrown for small children — comprised of thrown-together decor, last-minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]] as guests. No [[alcohol]], no [[tobacky]], just ''Kenan & Kel'' and cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever. The great importance of this event apparently warranted recording as a story, "[[My big 18th party]]".

===21st===
[[Image:0603-CWC21Note.jpg|thumb|And now the worst...]]
If the above birthday was Chris's best, then this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[PVCC|college]] [[English]] class by his professor. All wasn't lost, however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]] — Chris's enduring search for someone that will [[Barbara_Chandler|put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity]].

===23rd===
Chris documented this birthday in an issue of [[News_Dash#Chris.27s_23rd_Birthday|''Sonichu's News Dash'']]. It took place at the mall and was attended by his parents, as well as "a couple of his new-found gal-pals, who all already have Boyfriends, or are otherwise undatable, due to her religion." He was treated like a child and loved every second of it.

===25th===
[[Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|thumb|Chris's 25th birthday and [[DVD]] launch party.]]
To celebrate this milestone, Chris recorded an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|IMPORTANT MESSAGE]], inspiring girls, boys, and dudes of all teenages with the many lessons he has learned from his quarter-century of experience.

===27th===
Chris's 27th birthday coincided with the burial of his late [[Aunt Corrina]]. Undoubtedly, this cast a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to [[Obesity|stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes]] instead of [[Chris_and_death|mourning]] the loss of his aunt. He would later go on to complain in a [[Mumble 9|Mumble chat]] about how Aunt Corrina ruined his special day by selfishly dying. He also received some birthday money, which he used to fund his [[Julie|road trip to Ohio]].

===28th===
Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|called in and congratulated him]], being the all-around nice guy that he is. Chris [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#Hey.2C_Vivian_.E2.80.94_11_February|had been saving $100]] to pay for a prostitute as a birthday present for himself, but he ultimately abandoned that idea after [[The Wallflower]] became his friend and he assumed he would be allowed to have sex with her for free.

===29th===
Nobody knows due to his recent hiatus from the internet, but somewhere around this time is when Chris began to [[Tomgirl pictures|embrace his feminine side]].

* '''''Sonichu'' Canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] is distributed into the world's water supply on this day.

==Birthday Gallery: Witness the Evolution==
<center><gallery>
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|Age 5: Cute kid, right?
Image:0092-Christians14th.jpg|Age 14
Image:0406-ChristianIs17-4.jpg|Age 17
Image:0491-CWC18th23.jpg|Age 18
Image:0583-CWC19-2.jpg|Age 19
Image:0599-CWC20-4.jpg|Age 20
Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|Age 21
Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|Age 22
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|Age 23
Image:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg|Age 24
Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|Age 25
Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|Age 26: Cute kid, right?
File:Chris27a.PNG|Age 27<ref>[[Ode to Julie]]</ref>
File:Chris27.PNG|Age 28<ref>[[Christian Love Day (video)]]</ref>
File:TG9.jpg|Age 29
</gallery></center>

=="Christian Love Day"==
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|The Christian Love Day Declaration (which is totally TRUE and HONEST, and not a [[things Chris has ripped off|rip-off]] at all).]]
Many people see their birthday as a day of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be [[Ego|focused on him too]]. First seen in the [[CWC Blog]], "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentine's Day, but celebrated exclusively by [[Homo|STRAIGHT]] folk. In the [[Mailbag]], he clarified he "feels like" it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because [[Reality|he wills it]] and it's also Mexican Flag Day. However, Chris provides no details on how to celebrate, nor does he put any effort into garnering publicity beyond [[Christian Love Day|one lone video]].

In [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], the holiday gains slightly more credence, along with some disturbing moral stipulations. It is on this day that the homo vaccine "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, that and [[ego]]). Chris either thinks his comic is so widely known that the date of its denouement would be nationally recognized, or he [[Reality|has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality]].

====24 February is also...====
* Armenia's Genocide Remembrance Day.
* The day the Nazi Party was founded (1920).
* The day the [[Wikipedia:Battle of Los Angeles|U.S. military fought a UFO over Los Angeles]] (1942).
* The day Egyptian Premier Ahmed Maher Pasha was killed in Parliament after reading a decree (1945).
* The day Ayatollah Khomeini issued a ''fatwa'' for the death of Salman Rushdie (1989).

====Other people born on 24 February include...====
* [[100_2269|George Harrison]] (1943)
* [[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|Steve Jobs]] (1955)
* Chad Hugo (1974)
* [[Niggo|Floyd Mayweather, Jr.]] (1977)

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Events]]

Sonichu chronology

2011-08-16T06:11:08Z

BrianBash: Added 'Articleofthenow' banner, as it was once "Article of the Now"

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:CWCVoid03.jpg|thumb|right|Even Chris can't keep this shit straight.]]
The '''chronology of events''' in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s magnum opus, is extremely complicated for a series that only saw 11¼ issues in a six-year period. As with most of Chris's work, only the [[CWCki]] is capable of untangling the mess to establish when the hell things actually happened, and in what order.

There is considerable confusion as to the passage of time in ''Sonichu''. Although none of the characters seems to age at all (which would be consistent with most comics, video games, and cartoons), by late [[2008]] Chris had begun making it clear that several years had passed during the course of the storyline. We may never know if this had been his intent all along; it's equally possible that he suddenly made the announcement in reaction to [[trolls]] believing that [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] were underage at the time of their sex scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Since then Chris has clarified that the adventures in Episodes 1–11 take place several years before he drew them. Stories involving Chris, however, such as the [[Sub-Episode]]s and Episodes 12 & 12.5, generally occur closer to the time-frame in which Chris drew them, usually to better coincide with the real-world events that inspired them. After that, however, events in the comic begin to fall behind real time; in mid-2008 Chris established the events of Episodes 13–17 as having occurred in the fall of 2007, nearly a year earlier. Later stories would make greater effort to show when they took place, which only served to show the gap widening. When Chris abandoned the series in [[February 2010]], he had left off with a [[Christmas]] story set in December 2008.

Further complicating the continuity is Chris's gratuitous use of time travel. Although he wanted to show the [[Chaotic Combo]] hatching from eggs and growing up, this was at odds with his desire to make them contemporaries of Sonichu. Chris's solution was to reveal that the [[rainbow]] that created Sonichu and Rosechu created eggs that traveled backward in time, with most of them ending up (amazingly) in Virginia around the time Sonichu and Rosechu were born. In fact, nearly every major event in the comic's backstory that happened before the rainbow was caused ''by'' the rainbow. Later, Chris would devote all of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] to a time-travel story in which he visits his past self before getting lost in a time void where he can observe "future" events--that is, things that had already happened to the real Chris. The fictional Chris later travels to the future, and upon returning to 2008 coordinates to eradicate homosexuality by February 2009, even though the real Chris was writing all this in [[January 2010]] and was fully aware [[homos]] still roamed the earth.

The following is a timeline of events depicted in ''Sonichu'' canon, either in the comics themselves or in commentaries by Chris on the [[CWCipedia]] and elsewhere. Where necessary, ambiguous events have been noted with speculated dates.

<div class="toclimit-2">__TOC__</div>

==The distant past==
*The [[Cherokian Clan]] (led by their [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|ancient leader]], later reincarnated as [[Christian Weston Chandler]]) feud with the [[Wasabi Clan]] (led by an ancestor of [[Wes Iseli]]) over the leader's [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan|queen]] (later reincarnated as [[Sarah Hammer]]).
*The two clans later join forces to defeat [[Count Graduon]], imprisoning him within a magic scepter.
*Afterwards, the Wasabi continue to try to steal the [[Cherokian crown]], but do not succeed.

==Pre-1980==

* '''1900''': The [[Sonichu Balls]] are created by the power of the [[Chaotic Rainbow]], and sealed within the Ancient Tablet in the kingdom of [[RuleCWC]].<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
* '''1929/30''': Birth of [[Inos]].

==1980s==
===1979/80===
'''Date unknown''' (between 28 June 1979 and 27 June 1980)<ref name="sonichu6"/>
*Birth of [[Allison Amber]].

===1982===

'''24 February'''
* [[Christopher Weston Chandler]] is born.
* The city of [[CWCville]] is founded by [[Bob Chandler]], and apparently named after the initials of his infant son Chris.<ref name="sonichu8"/>

===1984===
* [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]] is born, son of Giovanni and an unknown mother.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu "Sonichu"], on CWCipedia</ref>

===1985===

* The CWC-Cola bottling company in CWCville opens in this year.<ref name="sonichu8"/>

'''15 May'''
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]] is born.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/> Apparently coming from the same rainbow that vomited the Chaotic Combo, his egg was dropped in the middle of RuleCWC forest where he was found by a [[parody]] of Link.<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 2]]</ref>

===1986===

* [[Kel]] is born.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
* [[DJ Jamsta]] is born <ref name=sonichu8/>

'''13 November'''
* [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] is born.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

===1987===

* [[Lolisa Rosechu]] is born.<ref name=sonichu8/>

===1988===

* [[Simonla Rosechu]] is born.<ref name=sonichu8/>

'''17 March'''
* The [[Pokémon]] who would become [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] hatches as a Pichu.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

'''21 August'''
* [[Zelina Rosechu]] is born.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/> Also conveniently from the same damn rainbow, her egg landed in the heart of the RuleCWC royal palace where it was adopted by a pair of (really desperate) childless monarchs.<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 2]]</ref>

'''22 December'''
* The Pokémon who would become [[Rosechu]] hatches.<ref name=sonichu8>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]</ref>

===1989===

'''1 February'''
* [[Silvana Rosechu]] is born on Earth's [[Moon]], hatched from an egg sent from the future by the Chaotic Rainbow. Despite being imprisoned by the [[Cherokian Clan]], and years away from release, [[Count Graduon]] rears the Pokémon and eventually grants her great power in exchange for turning her into an intersex shapeshifter.<ref name=sonichu8/>

'''2 February'''

* Many of the eggs created by the Chaotic Rainbow are sent through time to this date.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/> These eggs would hatch into [[Sonee]]s and [[Rosey]]s that would later evolve into [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]s and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]s, although these new species of Pokémon would go undocumented and unnamed until the creation of Sonichu and Rosechu in June 1998.
''Chris has claimed that ALL the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon except Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake came from eggs sent back in time to 2 February 1989, but he's also established that Darkbind, Zelina, Jamsta, Lolisa, Simonla, and Silvana are too old to have been born on this date. Blazebob, Chloe, and Zapina are born much later for reasons unaccounted for.''
* '''[[Episode 10]]''': [[Wild]], [[Punchy]], [[Bubbles]], [[Angelica]], and [[Magi-chan]] all hatch from their eggs. They will later be adopted by various caregivers and evolve into Sonichus and Rosechus.<ref name=sonichu3>[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]</ref><ref name=sonichu8/>

==1990s==

===1990===

* [[Blazebob Sonichu]] is born.<ref name="sonichu9"/>
* The species of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are finally classified around this year, despite the fact that the names "Sonichu" and "Rosechu" would not be invented for another eight years.<ref name="cwcipediaMailbag2">[[Mailbag 2]]</ref>

===1991===

* [[Chloe Rosechu]] is born.<ref name="sonichu9"/>

===1993===

* [[Zapina Rosechu]] is born.<ref name=sonichu8/>

===1994===

'''26 February'''
* The Pokémon who would become Sonichu evolves from a Pichu into a Pikachu.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

===1996===

'''Spring'''

* The Pichu who would become Rosechu is caught by a Pokémon trainer working for Professor Oak. She is later given to Kel, under whose tutelage she evolves into a Raichu.<ref name="cwcipediaRosechu">[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu "Rosechu"] on Cwcipedia</ref>

'''13 November'''
* Chris Chandler, 14, is by now a freshman at [[Manchester High School]], where he manages the varsity basketball team.<ref name=sonichu7/>
* [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], despite being born in 1986, is nevertheless created, fully grown, when Chris is inspired to create him upon being struck in the head by an object he believes to be a basketball.<ref name=sonichu7/>
* The Chris, Sonichu, and Magi-chan of 2 November 2007 travel in time back to this date as they have realized that it was an errant [[Sonichu Ball]], not a basketball, that hit Chris on the head. To protect the integrity of the timeline, the trio arrange events so that the Sonichu Ball is removed from the scene and replaced with a basketball to fulfill Chris and Bionic's destiny.<ref name=sonichu7/>

===1998===

* The evil wizard [[Clawdorf]] uses the Sonichu Balls to cast a sleeping spell upon Zelina Rosechu, moments before Darkbind Sonichu can propose marriage to her. The power of the Sonichu Balls simultaneously turns Clawdorf to stone. Darkbind swears to find all of the Sonichu Balls and lift the curse.<ref name="sonichu6"></ref><ref name=sonichu10>[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]</ref>

'''2 February'''

* Chris begins wearing [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]].<ref name=sonichu7/>

'''June'''
* The events of Sonic Adventure, in which [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] battles Chaos, occur in June of this year.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

* '''[[Episode 1]]''': In the final battle between Sonic and the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]], Sonic uses the [[Chaos Emeralds]] to transform into Super Sonic. Meanwhile, a Pikachu rushes to the scene to help and inadvertently collides with Sonic. The collision creates the Chaotic Rainbow, a massive burst of magical energy that stretches across the sky. At the source of the rainbow, the Pikachu is transformed into a new species of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon that can talk like humans. After helping Sonic defeat Chaos, the new Pokémon names both itself and its species "Sonichu." The rainbow touches down at Kel's house, striking her Girl Raichu and transforming it into a similar hedgehog Pokémon, who names herself Rosechu.<ref name=sonichu0>[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]</ref>
 ''Sonichu #0 says that Sonichu is 16 years old and Rosechu is 15, which would be true in 2004 when the comic was drawn but not in 1998, when Chris later declared the story took place.''
* The [[Chaotic Rainbow]] magically creates "countless" eggs which are strewn across time and space.<ref name=sonichu3/> Additionally, it creates the [[Sonichu Balls]], which are thrown back to the year 1900.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

''' July'''
* '''[[Episode 2]]''': After weeks of wandering through the forest like a wild Pokémon, Sonichu discovers the home of Kel and Rosechu and decides to ask for food. He and Rosechu instantly fall in love, and on 4 July they share their first kiss.<ref name=sonichu0/><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

'''8/12 August'''<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
<ref name=cwcipediaBlake>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Blake_Black_Sonichu "Blake Black Sonichu"], on CWCipedia</ref>
* '''[[Episode 3]]''': Sonichu and Rosechu go shopping and encounter Naitsirhc, the 14-year-old son of Giovanni. Sonichu saves CWCville from Naitsirhc and meets Christian Weston Chandler, the mayor of CWCville, who congratulates him.<ref name=sonichu0/><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

===1999===

* Wild Sonichu's adoptive father, a Scyther, is captured by poachers, leaving Wild to become the guardian of the forest.<ref name="sonichu8"/><ref name="cwcipediaWild">[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu "Wild Sonichu"] on CWCipedia</ref>
* Punchy Sonichu, having learned all he can at Shinabe's dojo, travels westward to China, Europe and America.<ref name="cwcipediaPunchy">[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Punchy_Sonichu "Punchy Sonichu"] on CWCipedia</ref>

'''21/22 March'''<ref name=sonichu8/><ref name=cwcipediaBlake/>
* '''[[Episode 4]]''': Months after Naitsirhc collected Sonichu's DNA, Giovanni and [[Robotnik]] are able to use their cloning machines to create a clone of Sonichu that will be named [[Black Sonichu]].<ref name=sonichu1>[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]</ref> Black Sonichu is "born" with the body of an 11-year-old Sonichu.<ref name=sonichu8/>

'''14 August (or 22 July)'''<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/><ref name=cwcipediaBlake/>
* '''[[Episode 5]]''': Black Sonichu kidnaps Rosechu to lure Sonichu into Giovanni and Robotnik's trap.<ref name=sonichu1/>
* '''[[Episode 6]]''': With Sonic's help, Sonichu defeats the villains and rescues his heartsweet.<ref name=sonichu1/>

==2000s==

===2000===

* Having mastered all knowledge, Magi-Chan ventures out into world, leaving his mountain home for the first time.<ref name="cwcipediaMagiChan">[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Magi-Chan_Sonichu "Magi-Chan Sonichu"] on CWCipedia</ref>

* In recognition of their heroic deeds, Chris offers to provide a house for Sonichu and Rosechu in CWCville.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

'''18 February'''

* Kel poses with Rosechu and her other Pokémon for a portrait commemorating her career as a Pokémon trainer.<ref name="cwcipediaRosechu"/>

'''27 May'''
* Construction on the house at 14 Brunchville Lane is completed on 27 May.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

'''8 June'''
* Sonichu and Rosechu part ways with Kel, and move into their new home at 14 Brunchville Lane. Kel, who is 14, moves on to becoming a Pokémon Master.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

''Chris has also put this event in November 1998.<ref name="cwcipediaRosechu"/>''

'''July'''
* Christian Weston Chandler begins working as Mayor of CWCville at the age of 18.<ref name=cwcipediapvcc/>

''Note that this is years after he was shown to be mayor in ''Sonichu'' #1, and months after he used his mayoral stroke to give Sonichu a house.''

===2002===

'''15 May'''
* '''[[Episode 11]]''': Black Sonichu is sent by Naitsirhc to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] from [[Flame the Sunbird]]. Sonichu learns of these plans and plans to intervene. Both of them happen to encounter Wild, Angelica, Punchy, Bubbles, and Magi-Chan, who join forces as the [[Chaotic Combo]] to help Sonichu teach the black hedgehog a lesson.<ref name=sonichu3/><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

===2003===

'''August'''

* Chris officially begins his [[Love Quest]].

'''7 October'''
* While Chris is attending classes at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] and trying to attract women with his [[sign]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]] flies toward him on her broomstick, destroys the sign, and tells him that [[Virginia is for Virgins|true love is illegal]].<ref name=cwcipediapvcc>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens "Private villa of corrupted citizens"] on CWCipedia</ref>

===2004===

'''12 January'''

* '''[[Episode 7]]''': On his daily run, Sonichu discovers an ancient cave, inadvertently triggering the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] that releases Count Graduon and bestows Anchuent Powers to Chris, [[Sarah Hammer]], and [[Wes Iseli]].<ref name=sonichu2>[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]</ref><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
* '''[[Episode 8]]''': Chris, Sarah, and Wes fight amongst themselves and sort out their personal issues.<ref name=sonichu2/>
* '''[[Episode 9]]''': Using their new powers, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Saramah Rosechu, and Wes-Li Sonichu confront Count Graduon, who is now in league with Mary Lee Walsh, and prevent them from destroying CWCville with a golem.<ref name=sonichu2/>

'''ca. March'''
* Mary Lee Walsh unleashes her first wave of [[Jerkops]] to "Break Up True, Honest Relationships between True Lovers." It falls to Chris to save true love and honesty.<ref name=cwcipediapvcc/>

'''18 March'''
* '''[[Classic Sonichu Strips]], 18 March 2004/[[Sub-Episode 3]]''': Chris uses his newly gained Anchuent Powers to become Chris-Chan Sonichu and launch a counter-strike against Mary Lee Walsh for her crimes against love. He fails, so Sonichu has to bail him out.<ref name=sonichu2>[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]</ref><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

''Sub-Episode 3 is an expanded version of the original strip from 2004''

'''5 December'''
* '''[[Classic Sonichu Strips]], 5 December 2004''': Chris-Chan Sonichu falls into a trap set by Mary Lee Walsh. He is nearly defeated, so Saramah Rosechu has to bail him out.<ref name=sonichu0/><ref name=sonichu4/>

''Date is conjecture based on when Chris drew it. Sub-Episode 7 presents it as a flashback, occurring "months before" the main story.''

===2005===

'''late March'''
* '''[[Sub-Episode 1]]''': Over nineteen months into his [[Love Quest]], Chris is confronted at the mall by the [[Jerkhief]], and transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu to defeat him.<ref name=sonichu0/>

'''29 March'''
* '''[[Sub-Episode 2]]''': Nearly twenty months into his Love Quest, Chris meets [[Hanna]], who pretends to want to date him. Rosechu alerts him to her deception and he bawls like a little bitch.<ref name=sonichu1/>

''Assumed to occur on the same day the real Chris got cockblocked by the real Hanna.<ref name="diaryMarch2005">[[Diary#March_2005]]</ref>''

'''17-19 June'''

* Chris attends the Anime Mid-Atlantic convention, where he "earns" a pair of [[Anime Wings]].

''Date is from when the real Chris attended the real con.''

'''late June'''
* '''[[Sub-Episode 4]]''': Over twenty-two months into his Love Quest, Chris is confronted in M-C-D-ville by the [[B-Manajerk]] and the [[Merried Seinor Comic]]. Unexpectedly, Chris discovers the ability to use his anime wings to become Super Chris-Chan Sonichu, and (with the timely assistance of Darkbind Sonichu) defeats his transgressors, prompting the W-M-Manajerk to intervene.<ref name=sonichu3/>
* '''[[Sub-Episode 5]]''': With Darkbind gone, Chris struggles against the W-M-Manajerk, so his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] has to bail him out.<ref name=sonichu4/>

''Sub-Episodes 4 and 5 are based two real incidents that happened on 20 and 22 June<ref name="diaryJune2005">[[Diary#June_2005]]</ref>; since Chris conflated them in his dramatization the exact date of the fictional version is not clear.''

'''late June-early July'''

* '''[[Sub-Episode 6]]''': Chris and Sonichu host a documentary on Jerkops, recalling a prior incident in which Chris and Crystal defeated the Jerkhief. [[ScotPalazzo]] watches in frustration.<ref name=sonichu4/>

''Date is conjecture. Presumed to have occurred between Sub-Episodes 5 and 6.''

'''20 July'''

* '''[[Sub-Episode 7]]''': Still seething from an earlier defeats, Mary Lee Walsh summons [[Bagget]] to defeat Chris once and for all.
* '''[[Sub-Episode 8]]''': Although Bagget successfully captures Chris and brings him to PVCC for execution, Crystal arrives to save Chris and together and cleanse Piedmont Virginia Community College of the corruption by the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Walsh and Graduon retreat to [[Menchi-Nasu High]], which they plan to turn into a new PVCC headquarters.<ref name=sonichu4>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref name=cwcipediapvcc/>

''The real-life events that inspired these sub-episodes occurred on 20 July 2005.<ref name="diaryJuly2005">[[Diary#July_2005]]</ref>''

===2006===

'''17 March'''
* Sonichu and Rosechu are married.<ref name=sonichu9>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]</ref> During the ceremony, held at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church, Black Sonichu intends to attack, but when he sees Bubbles serving as one of Rosechu's bridesmaids he is left dumbstruck and unable to interrupt the wedding.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

''Note that the wedding occurs on Sonichu's 18th birthday, and only three months after Rosechu's 17th birthday. [http://law.findlaw.com/state-laws/marriage-age-requirements/virginia/ Uh-oh.]''

'''29 May'''

* '''[[Episode 12]]''': Sarah Hammer marries William Spicer, who inexplicably cosplays as a [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] character. Chris, using an invisibility barrier, observes the ceremony undetected, until Wes-Li Sonichu attacks and tries to kill Spicer. As Chris-Chan Sonichu, and with the help of [[Sailor Megtune]] and [[Megagi]], Chris stops Wes and allows the bride and groom to complete their nuptials. In gratitude, Sarah throws her bouquet to Chris.<ref name=sonichu5/>

''Date is from Chris's note that the story is drawn "for May 29, 2006"--presumably in reference to the real wedding of Sarah and William.''.

'''27 June'''

* '''[[Episode 12.5]]''': Chris's dog Patti is transformed into the anthropomorphic [[Patti-Chan]]. Chris invites her to live in CWCville on the taxpayers' dime.<ref name=sonichu6>[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]</ref><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

'''29 June'''

* [[Cerah Rosey]], Sonichu and Rosechu's first daughter, is born.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

'''7 October'''

* [[Christine Rosey]], Sonichu and Rosechu's second daughter, is born.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

===2007===

'''26 February'''
* [[Robbie Sonee]], Sonichu and Rosechu's first son, is born.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>

'''11 October'''
* '''[[Episode 13]]''': Mary Lee Walsh's [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] launches a mass invasion of CWCville. Chris-Chan Sonichu, Crystalina Rosechu, Sonichu, Rosechu, and the Chaotic Combo barely repel this invasion with the timely arrivals of Sailor Megtune and Megagi La Skunk. In a parting shot, Mary Lee Walsh attempts to imprison Chris in a Dark Mirror Hole. The exposure of Chris's Sonichu medallion to the dark energy fulfills a section of the Anchuent Prophecy that causes Naitsirhc (who is miles away) to transform into Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc. Crystal rescues Chris from the mirror but is imprisoned herself.<ref name=sonichu5>[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]</ref><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
* '''[[Episode 14]]''': Mary Lee Walsh demands CWCville's surrender in exchange for Crystal's release. However, the arrival of Darkbind Sonichu and Patti-Chan turns the tide, and the PVCC forces retreat. After hours of trying to free Crystal, the heroes assemble to discuss how to obtain the seven Sonichu balls needed to break the spell of the dark mirror. Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc (as Reldnahc Ha-Taque) and Black Sonichu embark on a crime wave. Although Sonichu and Magi-Chan are able to appeal to Black Sonichu with reason, Reldnahc is only stopped through a pitched battle with Chris, culminating in the helpful assistance of the returning Bionic the Hedgehog<ref name=sonichu6/>
* During Chris's battle with Reldnahc, Black Sonichu is formally introduced to Bubbles, who reaches out to him and helps to redeem him. Later she suggests that he use the nickname "Blake," which he accepts appreciatively.<ref name=cwcipediaBlake/>

''Chris has set the date of the events of Epsiodes 13-14 to 29 April 2006<ref name=cwcipediaBlake/>, although that would be retarded even by Chris's standards, since that was months before Patti <s>died</s> turned into a furry and moved to CWCville.''

'''2 November'''

* Kel informs Rosechu of a website, [[4-cent_garbage.com]] that drags the names of Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu through the muck.<ref name=sonichu8/>
* '''[[Episode 15]]''': Chris, Sonichu, and Magi-Chan determine that one of the Sonichu Balls is lost in the past, and travel to 13 November 1996 to retrieve it.
* '''[[Episode 16]]''': After Chris, Sonichu, and Magi-Chan recover the lost Sonichu Ball, its power hurls Chris clear of Magi-Chan's time bubble, causing him to be lost in the time void. Sonichu and Magi-Chan return without him and worry for their mayor's safe recovery. Then Sonichu and Rosechu plan to buy condoms and have sex. At PVCC headquarters, Mary Lee Walsh and the assembled villains plan to exploit Chris's absence and launch the most audacious attack on CWCville yet. On station KCWC, Jamsta and Lolisa interview Blanca, Jiggliami, and Robert Simmons V.<ref name=sonichu7>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]</ref>

'''3 November'''

* Zapina Rosechu has recently turned 14 years cute. ^_^ <ref name=sonichu8/>
* '''[[Episode 17]]''': As planned, Sonichu and Rosechu have graphic hardcore sex into the small hours of the night. That morning, Rosechu checks out 4-cent_garbage.com and finds salacious artwork of herself and her friends. Disgusted and outraged, Sonichu and Rosechu journey to 4-cent_garbage building in Clarksville, Tennessee to reason with the owner of the site. Wild accompanies them to look for one of the Sonichu Balls. When the evil Jason Kendrick Howell refuses to hear out Sonichu and Rosechu, Rosechu transforms into a unthinking beast and savages Howell. After Wild recovers the Sonichu Ball, Rosechu and her girlfriends (Angelica, Bubbles, Lolisa, Simonla, and Zapina) assemble at her house to plan a nude photoshoot to raise awareness of a woman's right not to be mistaken for a she-male.<ref name=sonichu8/>

'''20 December'''
* Ten weeks after being left comatose by Bionic the Hedgehog, Reldnahc awakens in the hospital and swears revenge (although he was at Mary Lee Walsh's meeting on 2 November).<ref name=sonichu6/>

'''22 December'''
* '''[[Episode 18|Episode 18 Prologue]]''': Rosechu, mother of three, celebrates her 19th birthday.<ref name=sonichu8/>

===2008===

''January''

* Three months after their first date, Blake quits Team Rocket and moves in with Bubbles.<ref name=cwcipediaBlake/>

'''2 February'''
* '''[[Episode 18|Episode 18 Prologue]]''': The Chaotic Combo (Wild, Angelica, Punchy, Magi-chan, and Bubbles) celebrate their 19th birthday at CWCville Mall.<ref name=sonichu8/>

'''17 March'''
* '''[[Episode 18|Episode 18 Prologue]]''': Sonichu's friends throw him a surprise party for his 20th birthday.<ref name=sonichu8/>

'''21 March'''
* '''[[Episode 18|Episode 18 Prologue]]''': Bubbles clandestinely visits Blake to celebrate what she considers to be his 20th birthday (he is in fact nine years old).<ref name=sonichu8/>

'''22 March'''
* '''[[Episode 18]]''': The hedgehogs celebrate Spring Break in CWCville at the beach. Blake pretends to be a jerk so Bubbles's friends won't know she's fucking him. Bubbles locates one of the Sonichu Balls. A Squirtle yawns. Using her shapeshifting powers Silvana fucks Blake and almost fucks Bubbles, for no apparent reason. Wild and Punchy decide to attend Dating Education.<ref name=sonichu8/>

'''beginning after 22 March, ending on 6 May'''

* '''[[Episode 19]]''': Wild, Punchy, [[Layla Flaaffy]], Simonla, [[Reginald Sneasel]], and [[Ivy]] attend [[dating education]] classes at CWCville University. God and Jesus cause both Ivy and Chris to communicate across the [[Time Void]].<ref name=sonichu9/>

'''Precise date unknown'''

* While responding to [[Evan]] in [[Mailbag 43#...Well, this is disturbing!|mailbag 43]], Chris mentioned an incident where Simonchu interrupted a CWCville town hall meeting in order to tell [[Simonla]] to come back home with him to Ecgville. After Simonla refuses, Simonchu uses force but is thwarted by [[Wild]]. No mention was made of when did this happen, but Wild and Simonla appear to have already been a couple at that time, putting the incident's most likely date somewhere between 6 May 2008 and 9 August 2008 (Simonla's death).

'''4 June'''

* '''[[Episode 20]]''': PVCC uses its army of Decepticlones to launch a full-scale invasion of CWCville. The Chaotic Combo, Bionic and Megagi, Darkbind, and the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]] do their best to turn the tide. [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]] is killed when her apartment building is set ablaze by the attack. Ivy O'Neil is also horrifically killed when she falls in an elevator shaft and is strangled by one of the cables. In a final last stand, Sonichu engages in single combat with Mary Lee Walsh, defeats her, and then simply lets her escape with her followers.<ref name=sonichu9/>

'''9 August'''

* '''[[Episode 20|Episode 20 Epilogue]]''': Wild and Magi-chan rescue Chris from the time void.
* '''[[Episode 21]]''': Chris explains that the time void temporarily left him in the year 2015, where he helped develop a homosexuality vaccine. He sends Magi-chan back to the future to pick up mass quantities of the vaccine to distribute in the water supply of the present day. Later, Chris travels to the 4-cent_garbage.com building, where his [[medallion]] is briefly stolen until he uses the real power in his [[high school ring]] to teleport it to safety. Chris then gathers [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|his band]] to finally destroy 4-cent_garbage with the power of rock. Magi-chan returns from time traveling to explain that, by 24 February 2009, the homosexuality vaccine will be distributed throughout the world. Meg Griffin wanders by to make out with Chris, but it turns out to be Silvana trolling him. Using the power of the assembled Sonichu Balls, Chris and Sonichu transform into [[Collosal Chris-chan]] and Ultra Sonichu; they proceed to free Crystal from the mirror, un-brainwash PVCC's Jerkops, awaken Zelina Rosechu, liberate [[Asperchu]] and his friends, releases Count Graduon, and finally defeat Mary Lee Walsh. Chris delivers a mayoral address in which he effectively declares himself mayor for life. Alec, Mao, Sean, Evan, and [[Simonchu]] orchestrate the assassination of Simonla. Moments after Wild is told of Simonla's death, their child [[Sandy]] is born.<ref name=sonichu10/>

'''16 August'''
* Sandy evolves from a Rosey into a Rosechu.
* '''[[Episode 21|Episode 21, Original]]''': One week after being arrested for the murder of Simonla, Alec, Mao, Sean and Evan are tried, convicted and horrifically executed for their crimes.<ref name=sonichu10/>
* '''[[Book10Replacement|Episode 21, Revised]]''': One week after being arrested for the murder of Simonla, Alec, Mao, Sean, and Evan are tried, convicted and sentenced to live among the Amish for the rest of their lives, without Internet access and thus without the ability to [[troll]].<ref name=sonichu10r>[[Book10Replacement]]</ref>
* A week after the releasing of Graduon and the reversal of his spells on Silvana, Magi-Chan offers his friendship to Silvana. She cockblocks him.<ref name="cwcipediaMagiChan"/>

'''Mid-September'''
* '''[[Book10Replacement|Episode 21, Revised]]''': In the Amish community, Alec, Mao and Evan have a tedious conversation. Mao was apparently forced to take a wife.<ref name=sonichu10r/>

'''12-13 December'''

* '''[[Sonichu 11|Special Episode]]''': Sonichu and his family prepare to celebrate Christmas.<ref name=sonichu11>[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]</ref>

==The future==

Note that ''Sonichu'' continuity currently leaves off at 13 December 2008. So far, anything occurring after that is in "the future."

===2009===

'''24 February'''

* According to [[Magi-Chan]], by this time the [[homos]]exuality vaccine he brought back from the future to August 2008 will have been tested and distributed throughout the world's water supply, and all homosexuals and [[The Wallflower|asexuals]] have been cured. In honor of this event, the date is declared "Christian Love Day," in honor of [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] rescuing millions of people from condemnation to Hell for their deviant perversions.<ref name=sonichu10/>

===2015===

* Chris is by now married to [[Lovely Weather]] and has [[Daughter|a daughter named Crystal]].

'''June'''
* The Chris of November 2007 is sent through time to this period. [[Lovely Weather]] mistakes the 2007-Chris for her husband, the 2015-Chris. The Chris of 2007 plays along and has sex with his future wife, losing his virginity through deception.<ref name=sonichu10/>
* Scientists have isolated the genes involved in causing people to become homosexual. The Chris of 2007 participates in a study to find a cure. His blood samples are used to develop the first successful cure for homosexuality, although it will take several weeks to mass produce. Chris is paradoxically the first test subject for the cure.
* The Chris of 2007 departs this time-frame to return to the time void. He takes with him two samples of the prototype homosexuality vaccine, so that he can cure [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

'''31 July'''
* Magi-Chan arrives from August 2008 to pick up enough homosexuality vaccines to vaccinate every man, woman, and child in the year 2008.

===2029===

* '''[[Classic Sonichu Strips]], 13 June 2004''': Sonichu has by now evolved into [[Metonic]]. Rosechu has by now evolved into [[Vamprosa]]. Metonic could cut one hundred logs before breakfast, but he already ate lunch and since it is therefore not "before breakfast" he will not cut any logs. How lazy of him.<ref name=sonichu1/>

==References==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Comic]][[Category: Chronology]]

User:BrianBash

2011-08-16T05:28:19Z

BrianBash:

__NOTOC__
__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:BryanBash.jpg|thumb|right|Pic related: it's [[Brian Bash|me]] and my gal-pal.]]

Time to [[Kick the Autistic|beat up the beat]] and get ''crazy''!

==Current Projects==
*[[User:BrianBash/Sandbox|'''Video article template''']]

{{Canuckfag}}
{{JERK}}
{{GrammarNazi}}
{{Krapplefag}}

User:BrianBash/Sandbox

2011-08-16T05:04:07Z

BrianBash: creating a video article 'style guide' based on Dude's page style guide

{{quote|Please remember: I'm a [[Death threats|innocent person]]. [''sic'']|[[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]}}


'''Chris Chan's Public Announcement''' is the first YouTube video uploaded by Christian since the launch of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. Chris assumes that the ED contributors have simply misunderstood him and his work. Consequently, he reintroduces himself in an attempt to start over on the right foot.

==Watch==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan's Public Announcement
| image = {{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}
| Stardate = 07 [[November 2007]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Rumors|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{ED|text}}
| Shirt = {{YellowRedStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC_is_Angry#Watch|CWC is Angry]]
| next = [[CWC's_Second_Message#Video|CWC's Second Message]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:126499951987.jpg|thumb|Relevant pix go here]]
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... the transcript text goes here.

[''Stage directions or observations go like this - note the square brackets are not italicised.'']

If there are multiple performers, indicate the speaker with the following conventions:

Chris 
Jackie 
Julie 
Bob 
usw.

==See Also==
*Link 1
*Link 2


{{Captain's Log}}


{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|nextlink=[[CWC's Second Message]]|}}

User talk:Dude/Guide to Style

2011-08-16T04:26:25Z

BrianBash:

I, for one, welcome this page. Maybe the 5,000,008 new users could read over this before dicking around. [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 01:40, 25 July 2011 (PDT)

Dude, does this style guide apply to video pages as well? I was thinking that it might look good if a notable quote was at the top of those pages instead of down below the video, just as you suggest with articles. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 21:26, 15 August 2011 (PDT)

Liquid Chris

2011-08-16T04:11:38Z

BrianBash: removing dead links - also: spacing of pix

{{Improve|massive reorganization|Expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga'' for great justice. Add details and citations.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | <s>Trolls</s> Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Liquid Chris
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Chris Chandler<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref> Jeff<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref>
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 24 February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Kacey]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer Musician
|-
|}
'''Liquid Chris''' (born 24 [[February 1982]]) is the '''[[TRUE and HONEST]] Christian Weston Chandler''' (ORIGINAL IDENTITY — DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu]].

==Prologue==
[[June 2009]] was a busy month for [[Christian]] (henceforth '''[[Metal Gear Solid|Solid Chris]]'''), with both highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris, [[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]}}

==Liquid Saga==
{{Protip|If you're going to call Chris "Ian", do so only in the context of this saga.}}

====A challenger appears====
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid Chris torturing the impostor.|thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
* A paper Sonichu medallion
* A striped shirt (brown)
* Pedo-glasses
* Obesity (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
* Autism

All of which, of course, made him almost [[Chris and Reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

====Ian Brandon Anderson====
:''Main Article: [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their docs (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu".

The next piece fell into place when he posted his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]] video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]". When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson". Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

===CWCivil War begins===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Now_Selling_the_OFFICIAL_and_ORIGINAL_SONICHU_Merchandise_of_CWC.2C_NO_FAKERIES_OR_IMPOSTORY|video]] that reeled Solid in hook, line, and sinker, having sold Sonichu merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC]". HE IS CRAPPY, and his Nasal Voice is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

==The battleground==

===="More Than A Feeling"====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]

For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at ''Guitar Hero'' and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris.]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''

More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009#Liquid.27s_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====''SingStar'' Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris.]]
{{Main|SingStar_Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, [[SingStar Challenge|"''SingStar'' Challenge"]]}}

[[Fail|And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.]]

As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of four votes in favor, two against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
* That he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
* That he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a ''Sonichu'' game for all consoles.
* That Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

==="SHOWDOWN"===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}

{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, [[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]}}

On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to arrest Liquid for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.

{{quotebox|If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like [voice cracks] you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]</ref>}}

==="I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up."===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_Gs7ZqOl2CA}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the ''SingStar'' Contest. Also, More Updates on ''Sonichu'' and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]]}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The ''Singstar'' Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[Internet]] knows that I am, he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edgewise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|"The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who"]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|CzDj29Vy7ro}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

===CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo===
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}

Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.

In the [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him '''"the previous Chris"'''. In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him '''"the other Chris"''' repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the real Chris.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fLVg6VkxpLY}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===
Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free]] females with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo]] DS and [[Xbox]] 360, respectively.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M</ref> On 27 July 2011, Liquid bid fond faredieu to the trolling universe on YouTube by closing his account.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Lav-RaVcYXQ}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}

'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

==Irony==
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|left|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].]]
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE.]]
IBAChandler has mocked Liquid on several points:

* [[Speech Impediment|His nasal tone.]]
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt.]]
* [[Chris and Money|Actually making money off ''Sonichu''.]]
* [[Fat|His appearance.]]

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and worse when the mirror is winning.

In early August 2009,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref> Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.

In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating...or something...in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The impostor [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycat-ly seize [sic] to the extreme!]]

On 17 [[November 2009]], the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Ian, being the slanderous troll that he is, had the nerve to imply that Liquid's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried to convince everyone that he, Solid was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu.

Of course, since the comic is made by the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown to him in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]].

Chris planned a future plot where [[Giovanni]] captured [[Rosechu]] and forced Chris to cede control over [[CWCville]] to the browned-striped impostor.<ref>[[CWC Blog#20 November 2009]]</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ayObshLZQwI}}
| Stardate = 2 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s1SBdwZDN1k}}
| Stardate = 4 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dYrgl-otclY}}
| Stardate = 6 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game.
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Solid Chris]]
* [[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]
* [[Jimmy Hill]]
* [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], another doppelganger of Chris featured in the Sonichu comics

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheCWCvilleLibrary#g/c/51E59E5BF480DBD4 Archived versions of all of Liquid's videos]
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/The_Real_Chris_Chan#.22Christian_Weston_Chandler.22] on [[ED]]

 {{SingStarChallenge}} 
{{Template:The_Cwcivil_War_of_2009}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Shigeru Miyamoto

2011-08-16T00:59:48Z

BrianBash: rewrite and reorganisation

[[Image:Shigeru_Miyamoto_cropped.jpg|thumb|Shigeru Miyamoto - creator of ''Mario'', ''Link'', and many beloved video game characters. He is considered to be "the Walt Disney of gaming". Yet Chris insists Miyamoto would be more impressed with him.]]
{{quote|I'm certain Mr. Miyamoto wants to meet up with me and discuss the future of Sonichu and the Sonichu Alpha Project, as much as I'd be humbled and honored to meet with him and discuss the matter; [[Chris and his ego|PROBABLY MORE FOR HIM]], becuase I am the Original Creator of Sonichu, [[Rosechu]], the other associated characters and the city of [[Cwcville]] around them all.|Chris on Miyamoto}}

'''Shigeru Miyamoto''' (Japanese: 宮本茂) is the creator of some of [[Nintendo]]'s most legendary video game franchises such as ''Mario'', ''Zelda'', and ''Star Fox'' and is a colleague of Nintendo of America president [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]. Back in 2009, he engaged in preliminary discussions with [[Chris]] regarding the possibility of making a [[Sonichu]] game for the Nintendo platform. Unfortunately for Chris, these discussions, and the opportunity to develop a Sonichu game franchise with a major gaming label, ultimately fell through.

==Early contact==

On 15 [[August 2008]], Chris asked his fanbase to persuade Nintendo and Sega to open discussions with him to create a video game based on his Sonichu character.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref> In response, a [[troll]] sent this e-mail to Chris. (The awkward backslashes are a side-effect of the software used by the troll to forge the email headers).

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
Dear Chris Chandler, 
Good evening. My name is Shigeru Miyamoto. Perhaps you\'ve heard of me. If you haven\'t, then allow me to introduce myself. I am the general manager of Nintendo and creator of Mario, Zelda, and countless other franchises.

I normally do not talk directly to fans in this matter as I am a very busy man. However, over the past few months, I have received countless amounts of emails from your fans stating that you wish for my company and Sega to create a game based on your fan character.

I am sorry to say this but I cannot and will not allow this to happen. There are several problems with your proposal, the first of wich is the simple fact that your character is NOT original. You can not make a game by combining two characters from opposing companies and then call it a new game. Things do not work this way.

Second of all, I have read your comics and they would not make a good concept for a game. It seems as though your comics are all about you and your personal problems.

You seem to have created a sort of alternate reality based around you and you only. You must understand one thing if you want to make a game. Video games are a medium where you must think of what other people want. Nobody wants to play a game where it\'s all about you and you only. Nobody wants to play a game about a person\'s inner thoughts and their problems with the world. People have problems of their own. People play games to escape from the problems of the real world, into a reality that they can feel a part of. Your game idea doesn\'t provide that. It only focuses on you and the things that bother you.

Third, I have already spoken with the president of Sega and he even thought that it was proposturous. Not only that, the amount of cooperation it wiould talk to make such a game would never work in reality. Even if we did merge Pikachu and Sonic, who would take the credit for it? Sega would lose the character that basically is their identity and Nintendo would end up with a character that quite frankley just isn\'t an original or new idea.

I\'m sorry but we can\'t do this and we outright refuse to have any part in your game idea proposal. Please stop sending us emails about this as it is simply not possible or probable for us to even entertain such an idea.

Please don\'t take this too hard on yourself. Maybe someday you can come up with an original idea and we can work togehter [sic]. But right now, you don\'t seem to have anything that can work as a video game. I wish you luck in your future endevours and I hope you have a nice day.

Sincerely,
Shigery Miyamoto
General Manager, Nintendo Company Ltd. </div>

Shortly after receiving the above, Chris posted the following entry on his [[Sonichu.net]] blog. Chris's flat out refusal to ignore the unpleasant truth proved to be early example of his delusional thinking.

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
The Big Brain behind Super Mario, Zelda and other Popular Nintendo characters and games, Shigeru Miyamoto, sent me an e-mail with his response to the Sonichu Game Project. He says Nay, but I bet's he could be holding out on us, or something. So, I say this unto you, my loyal fans, continue with the e-mails and Forum Talks with Nintendo and SEGA of America or Japan. They are missing out on a REAL Profitable thing they can work with me on and cash in handsomely. I sent a detailed reply, but it came back to me in a "Mailer Daemon" message, so I've taken the liberty of printing a copy of the original message, and a copy of my reply that I will send to Nintendo of America for them to transfer to Mr. Miyamoto himself. Give them time and messages.</div>

==The Miyamoto Saga==
[[Image:Cwcmail.png|thumb||right|Christian discussing his censorship because of Miyamoto's intervention.]]
{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In January 2009, Chris started to receive a new series of e-mails from Miyamoto that were more receptive to his ideas than previous ones. Chris quickly overcame his lingering suspicion regarding the authenticity of the previous email encounter as the new emails informed him that Miyamoto was interested in meeting Chris to talk about creating a Sonichu game after all.

==Trolled==
[[Image:Nintendo's Reponse.png|thumb|Nintendo on Sonichu]]
Eventually, Chris finally received a [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|legitimate response from the real Nintendo]]. Only then did it become clear to Chris that he had, yet again, fallen victim to the [[trolls]]. However, instead of admitting defeat, Chris hailed his discovery a victory.

==References==
<references />

==See also==

*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto]]
*[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Shigeru Miyamoto|Wikipedia article on Shigeru Miyamoto]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Miyamoto, Shigeru}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category: Miyamoto Saga]]

La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova

2011-08-15T23:44:28Z

BrianBash: text formatting and small word change

'''"La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova"''' ('''[[Chris's kitchen|The Kitchen in Casanova's House]]''') is the fifth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''.

More than anything else, this song demonstrates Chris's total mastery of the [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Spanish language]].

It should also be noted that the real-life [[Wikipedia:Giacomo Casanova|Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt]] was Venetian, not Spanish, thus confirming the fact that Chris is a poorly-educated Philistine.

==Listen==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|s_NjT6RX26c}}</center>

===Lyrics===

[''sung over [[Homos|Ricky Martin's]] "''La Copa de La Vida''"'']

¡Casanova! 
¡Casanova! 
¡Casanova! 

¡Estamos en la cocina! 
¡En la casa de Casanova! 
¡Estamos divertido, sí! [?] 
¡Bailamos con la música! 

¡Hay muchas chicas y niñas aquí 
En la casa! 

¡Casanova está muy feliz 
Porque está hacienda cosas calientes! 

¡Hace calor! ¡Hace calor! 
¡Casanova! 

Here we go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Esta noche… 
Esta noche sera 
Diversión! [?] 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Uno, dos, tres! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Un, deux, trois! 
¡Olé, olé olé! 

Because he 
Is Casanova! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Olé, olé! (¡Olé, olé!) [repeat to end] 

¡Casanova!

===Translation===

Casanova! 
Casanova! 
Casanova! 

We're in the kitchen! 
In Casanova’s house! 
We’re having fun, yes! 
We’re dancing with the music! 

[[Pedofork|There are lots of girls and girls here]] 
In the house! 

Casanova is very happy 
[[Sex|Because he’s doing hot things!]] 

It's hot! It's hot! 
Casanova! 

Here we go! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 
Go, go, go! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 

This night… 
This night will be 
Fun! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 

One, two, three! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 
''Un, deux, trois!'' 
''¡Olé, olé olé!'' 

Because he 
Is Casanova! 
Go, go, go! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 

''¡Olé, olé!'' (''¡Olé, olé!'') [repeat to end] 

Casanova!

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]

Bruce Johnson

2011-08-15T03:38:10Z

BrianBash: rewrote and cleaned-up

{{Stub}}
Dr. '''Bruce Johnson''' was the principal of the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] Chris attended for the fourth grade. He became a phantom menace to the Chandlers in an imagined vast [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy]] against them for his recommendation that Chris be placed in a school geared towards assisting children with developmental and learning [[Autism|disabilities]] because of his numerous [[Chris and anger|disciplinary problems]].

{{quotebox|The Principle of the Nathanel Greene [[Chris and English#Spelling|Elemetary]] School [sic], Dr. Johnson, was a [[Homo]], and when I was sent to his office; he picked me up, set me on his lap, then I would always get off his lap, because I ALWAYS HATED that; I felt bad vibes back then. Fortunately, it has never gone beyond that, and my father caught his intentions on that, and the Court Battles Started. He likely exagerates [sic], but my father knew that there were a bunch of homos within that school board, and that was why they hated me and my family, in addition to those people not understanding Autism. Anyway, from those past memories, that is why I have grown up to Rarely Associate with men, and why I DESPIE [sic] THE HOMOS the Worst.}}

Chris's memory, quoted above, was likely a fabrication, formed after exposure to [[Bob Chandler]]'s irrational claim that the state wanted to commit his son to a primitive turn of the century mental facility, such as the one depicted in ''One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest''. This fear most likely caused Bob to ''a priori'' label Johnson a homosexual – an extremely disparaging and damning term, coming from someone like Bob – with Chris's lap-sitting story as a fitting, yet completely unrelated, justification.

The school's insistence on placing Chris in a more appropriate education setting drove the Chandlers to take the school to court. The favorable verdict for the school likely served as the imputes for Bob's nonsensical conspiracy story, as recanted in Chris's words above.

==See Also==
*[[Chris's education]]
*[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Johnson, Bruce}}
[[Category: People]]

Clyde Cash

2011-08-14T23:03:27Z

BrianBash: 2 fewer unnecessary Wikipedia pipes

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Gregg Mays
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 4 July 1976
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[PandaHalo]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
Internet troll Leader of [[The Miscreants]]
|-
|}

[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Chris]]'s [[troll]]s, often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.

In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and Reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>

==Origins==
For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually with the first three pages).

This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}

==The torment begins==
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|left|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]
Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.

On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected a foul play.

==In the comic==
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.
{{clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]
After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and Health|bulging muscles]].

Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.{{cite}}

Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].

In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Loves Clyde Cash
| video = {{#ev:youtube|73jIxs5yQLg}}
| Stardate = 17 [[April 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/CWCvillelulz CWCvillelulz]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = It's a love/hate relationship.
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| Stardate = 7 [[June 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Particle-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}
| Stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Shit Was So Cash!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32XiZC2yG1Y}}
| Stardate = 25 [[April 2010]]
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}
==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]
==Sauces==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]
{{Clyde Saga}}
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category: Clyde Cash Saga]]

File talk:SchuComicSP3P5real.jpg

2011-08-14T17:39:58Z

BrianBash: nominated for speedy deletion

{{delete|speedy|the CWCki is not a porn or shock site}}

AGH MY EYES! Make me unsee it! - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 02:17, 14 August 2011 (PDT)

==Nomination for Deletion==
Why is this even here? This isn't a porn or shock site. We don't need random images of real, freaky cocks, especially without some kind of warning. The only cocks on this site are the nudes Chris dropped - and that's even in an NSFW wrapped collapsible box. Take this shit back to ED. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 10:39, 14 August 2011 (PDT)

Duck

2011-08-14T17:33:46Z

BrianBash: Undo revision 144137 by Taco Wiz - Hell no - this isn't ED - we don't need random pictures of cocks

{{Honest}}
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Comics]]</ref>]]
[[Image:Duck_edited.jpg|thumb|left]]

{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}

'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat that it is an intentional euphemism.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

==Chris and his duck==
[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|Another example of a bent duck]]
Chris's penis is bent at a [[Nudes|horrifying 45° angle]], though he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or that he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long.<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> He even [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_the_CWCki#8_May.2C_03:09_-_03:16|edited]] the CWCki at one point to remove a bit of piping that suggested otherwise. His claim appears highly unlikely, however, even if he measured both segments. From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average. He has attempted to enlarge it with [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, and he apparently regrets this fact. In [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|an e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Toward the very end of his [[Jackie E-mails 23|communications with Jackie]], Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. however, in one of the recently (as of 29 April 2011) leaked [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] [[:File:TG20.jpg|images]] his penis is still visibly [[lie|bent]].

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his [[Wikipedia:pubic hair|pubic hair]]. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

In a [[Cwcsicle|video]] made sometime in the winter of 2008-2009, Chris nearly gave his duck frostbite by sticking it in snow for 15 minutes.

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[White Knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a penis not his own.

==Sauces==
<references />

==See also==
* [[Nudes]]
* [[Pickle]]
* [[Comeuppance]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Saga

2011-08-14T09:17:33Z

BrianBash: /* Surfshack Tito Saga */ grammarification

{{Dated}}
[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]
{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}
A '''saga''' (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is an overall story arc of events.

In the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the term is used to describe any on-going trolling effort that produces considerable drama. Sometimes taking place over the course of months, other times taking place over the course of a few weeks. Since he was discovered online and found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment, Chris has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or other. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with the [[Miyamoto Saga]] and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period (similar to the term "dynasty").

Some argue that the usage may have originated with [[Vivian Gee]]'s [[Audiobook]] saga project.

==List of Sagas==

===Megan Saga===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg]]

{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

The first and longest saga in the story of Christian Weston Chandler. From 2005 to 18 March 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved...excluding Chris.

===Adam Stackhouse Saga===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart, only to be <s>cockblocked</s> beaten by a much superior entry made by Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and [[PaRappa_contest#Aftermath|several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers]]. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

===ED Saga===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

In November 2007, [[trolls]] would discover Chris and put up the "Chris-chan" page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris would initially think that they just got information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm.

===Blanca Saga===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg]]

{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[White knight|white knighting]] efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain and destroy Chris's [[Medallion of Fail|medallions]].

===Jimmy Hill Saga===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he believed that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In an attempt to get back at Chris for his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]], Clyde Cash would go on a months-long trolling spree, going to great lengths to get back at the autistic wonder. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he's made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

And so it continues to this date; a never-ending conflict between two mortal enemies...

===PandaHalo Saga===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg]]

{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when she was found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg]]

{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by <s>[[Clyde Cash|a troll]]</s> [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Chris's ineptitude and inability to do...well...anything other than be a lazy fuck resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Julie}}

In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a young troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]], force Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to stick it up his ass. However, BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki.

===Ivy Saga===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg]]

{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, Chris would meet and fall in love with Ivy, his then-latest sweetheart. His crush towards Ivy would lead Chris to create three special comics and two music videos, a practical [[semen|spurt]] of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and CWC-watchers. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

===Liquid Chris Saga===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Liquid Chris}}

In July 2009, the TRUE and HONEST Christan Weston Chandler would come forth after the other Chris would reveal himself as a troll in one video. The other Chris, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey, leaving Ian to be butthurt.

===CWCipedia Saga===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg]]

{{main|CWCipedia}}

In early June 2009, Chris was given the CWCipedia, a wiki-styled web page, so that Chris can use it to upload his ''Sonichu'' comics, blog, and personal life safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[Fans|fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

Since 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

===Asperchu Saga===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg]]

{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Asperger's Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fan fiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], has led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] has been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

===Surfshack Tito Saga===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg]]

{{Main|Surfshack Tito}}

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with a certain girl in real life, hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal...and release a name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the [[lulz]] spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, codenamed [[The Wallflower]], and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, has threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and flashing his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]] in the process. At the same time, Chris has discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. In short order, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information.

=== The GAMe PLACe Saga ===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe|Michael Snyder}}

For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis, dating as far back as before the Megan Saga. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain to the store's manager, [[Michael Snyder]] and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and all-around being a pain, Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael for a dartboard, but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

==Intermittent Sagas==

===The CWC Exile Saga===

{{main|Rocky Shoemaker|Fridays After Five|Flipnote Hatena}}

After Chris lost The Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. In no less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at the [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

==Post-exile==

===Jackie Saga===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jackie}}

Following the fallout of The Wallflower incident, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party - [[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend - stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, putting an end to the saga.
===Tomgirl Saga===
[[Image:Cwctl.jpg]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In mid-2011, Chris's exile from the Internet continued, and his mental state deteriorated. Some leaked evidence of [[Wikipedia:Transvestitism|transvestitism]] surfaced in [[April 2011|April]], and later joined the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where his posts showed that Chris and sanity were only vague acquaintances. However, because of this, Chris came back in full force to YouTube, gracing everyone with his presence once more.

==The Future==
If anything remains clear, it is that Chris is incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]

Template:Check this out

2011-08-14T09:01:39Z

BrianBash: Added "Tomgirl" to saga list

{{Navbox
|title = New to the CWCki? Check this out!
|name = Check this out
|state = collapsed
|group1 = New? Start here!
|list1 = [[Frequently Asked Questions|Chris-chan FAQ]] • [[A Quick Guide to CWCki|A Quick Guide to the CWCki]] • [[CWCki:Priority Listing|CWCki To-Do List]] • [[Special:Newpages|The Newest Pages!]]
|group2 = Major Articles
|list2 = [[Sonichu (comic)]] • [[CWC-isms]] • [[CWChronology]] • [[Relics of Fail]] • [[Chris E-Mails]] • [[CWCipedia]] • [[List of videos]] • [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] • [[Homos]]
|group3 = Don't know where to go?
|list3 = [[Christian Weston Chandler]] • [[Megan Emails, 2005-2006]] • [[Story of My Current Days]] • [[Future Message]] • [[CWC's Second Message]] • [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
|group4 = [[Saga|Sagas]]
|list4 = [[Megan]] • [[Adam Stackhouse]] • [[ED]] • [[Blanca]] • [[Jimmy Hill]] • [[Clyde]] • [[Panda]] • [[Miyamoto]] • [[Julie]] • [[Ivy]] • [[Liquid]] • [[CWCipedia]] • [[Asperchu]] • [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Tito]] • [[The GAMe PLACe]] • [[Fridays After Five|CWC]] [[Flipnote Hatena|Exile]] • [[Jackie]] • [[Tomgirl]]
|group5 = Chris and...
|list5 = {{Chris and text}}
|group6 = Notable [[Template:People|People]]
|list6 = [[Bob Chandler]] • [[Barbara Chandler]] • [[Christian Weston Chandler]] • [[Megan Schroeder]] • [[Mary Lee Walsh]] • [[Clyde Cash]] • [[Liquid Chris]] • [[Michael Snyder]]
|group7 = Notable [[Template:Places|Places]]
|list7 = [[14 Branchland Court]] • [[Chris's room]] • [[CWCville]] • [[The GAMe PLACe]] • [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
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<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's an expandable section which contains an assortment of links to help people find out more about Chris and the CWCki. This template already contains a lot of links, therefore only very significant and "helpful" articles should be added.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Talk:Chris and electronics

2011-08-14T02:31:04Z

BrianBash:

== Deletion ==
I dunno if this needs deletion, but it definitely needs to either get bigger or get zapped. The part about Chris's shit computer is really the only useful bit, the rest is just rehashed from other pages. Lemme at least add one thing that I was thinking about lately... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:07, 25 March 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I didn't get to explain why. We need a citation of what his computer is, and frankly do we need a thing on 'netiquette"? And getting rid of that, do we need an article article on how Chris uses his computer? This could just go in the FAQ, really. The rest is just fluff. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:27, 25 March 2010 (UTC)
**Unfortunately, there's really not much to go by on here. As far as I can tell, Chris has only mentioned his machine in Mumble 6 and the ABL call. I thought about making a Chris and Technology page and throwing this in there, but I'm not sure if that would be a good idea.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 01:00, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

If this article is to survive, it needs some work done to it. I would have gone ahead and deleted it if it wasn't for the fact a few articles link to it. If someone could shape it up a bit, that'd be great. We even have stuff to add about his computer being broken too. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:26, 18 November 2010 (PST)

==Piracy?==
This section provides phantom sources in support of nothing in particular. There is no information here regarding what Chris has torrented or how frequently he does it, and simply asserts that he knows how. It's single specific example, Photoshop, is based on extremely shaking reasoning: Chris is too cheap to pay for Photoshop, therefore he stole it? Please. First of all, it could be a gift. Secondly, he absolutely would pay for it, because he gets free money, has only one inflexible expense ("rent"), is not a saver, and because producing Sonichu (with Photoshop) is one of the few activities he bothers to perform. In other words, this section needs to go even if someone thinks the article can be saved. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 06:01, 16 June 2010 (UTC)
:I don't know about you guys, but I think Chris uses MS Paint, not Photoshop. I was looking at the videos he made under the "ClydeGreggCashMays" account and it looks more like he's using MS Paint. What does everyone else think? --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 06:11, 16 June 2010 (UTC)
::I agree that it looks that way, but he says he uses photoshop, and there's no real reason for him to lie about that. Plus, in that 9/11 vid he did, he was using photoshop (I remember he had trouble with layers) It probably looks that way purely because he's so shit at the program that it fails on levels only previously matched by Paint. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 22:14, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:::A lot of the Mumble chats get mixed together, but I do recall Chris mentioning torrenting anime in one of them.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 00:37, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

== "Net etiquette" bullshit ==

Are you living in the 90s? Go back to your own homepages and your Usenet. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:58, 26 June 2010 (UTC)
:Interesting results are produced when this is sung to the tune of Running in the 90s. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 14:22, 27 June 2010 (UTC)

==Chris has Adobe PhotoDeluxe? ==
I had removed the line on Chris having Adobe PhotoDeluxe and replaced it with "photo manipulation software" because the citation provided didn't seem to include any reference to image editing software of any kind. TBH, if it wasn't for that citation, I wouldn't have even bothered changing that line, but since it was contradicted by the actual reference I took it out.

Is there another place where Chris mentions the software he uses? – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] 19:31, 13 August 2011 (PDT)

Template:Quote of the now

2011-08-14T02:23:17Z

BrianBash:

{{quote|ATHEIST BEGONE!|Chris, addressing [[Thorg]]; [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada]]}}
<noinclude>
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